Yannis Pappas Hour - Party Clown with Mr Panos & Chris Distefano - LongDays with Yannis Pappas - Bonus

Episode Date: October 1, 2021

Chris Distefano sits down with everyone’s favorite crazy Greek diner owner Mr. Panos to talk about his career as a comedian and to receive life advice from the self-proclaimed genius. This is hilari...ous! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 🎵 We press play. The people who's listening, they hear us now. Here we are. We starting. Everybody, welcome back to the podcast. This is a Greek podcast, baby. Right here in the United States. We're taking over. We have Greeks in Australia.. Right here in the United States. We're taking over.
Starting point is 00:00:45 We have Greeks in Australia. We have Greeks in the United States. We have Greeks in Germany. We have Greeks in England. We have Greeks in French people. We have Greeks in Spain. We have spies all over the world to finish the mission of Alexander the Great who wanted to Hellenize the world. So we're putting Greek people everywhere. they're sneaking in through the restaurants every country has a diner and in this diner we make greek people and these greek people
Starting point is 00:01:15 is communicating back to me the new alexander the great who is going to put the hellenic values back into the civilization because the world is crazy we have a crazy world right now filled with morons we have many morons and they're not genius so what we need we need a genius to come here and talk genius things to you so you can change your family so you can change the way you're thinking because this is the real problem is called stupidity and i am here to be the cure for the stupidity so this is a what we have now yorkie this is a the fourth fifth sixth fifth episode so we haven't been canceled how come we haven be cancelled? Because we are the internet. We don't have a
Starting point is 00:02:05 Jewish boss. There's no Jews here running this operation. This is Greek. 100% Greek. No Jews, no Germans, no Chinese, no black people running this operation. Strictly Greek people. Me and my son, Georgie. We get to spend time. So this is how you know there's no... We're not run by any corporations. We're not selling chips or cookies. We're not selling dove soap to you. You don't have to buy the penis pill for herpes. At 12.30 a.m., you're laying in bed.
Starting point is 00:02:40 You have these symptoms. Talk to your doctor. How come I have to talk to the doctor? How come I'm talking to the doctor if i have a problem and i have a rush i go see the doctor and the doctor tells me what i need how come i'm watching a commercial of a woman in a canoe going down the river telling me to talk to the doctor about this problem I'm having. This is American. Everything's for sale.
Starting point is 00:03:10 So anyway, we're here. We have a lot happening in the world, and we also have the first guest. The first guest here on the podcast, Alakis, on Stay Greek, baby, the podcast. The first guest, his name is Chris DeStefano. Yes. DeStefano, he's Italian.
Starting point is 00:03:31 You're Italian. Yes. And he's an actor. You are a geek. He's been in the movies. You've been in the movies. Yeah. What movies you been in inside the TV station?
Starting point is 00:03:41 I've been on MTV movies. MTV? Yeah. This is the channel. The channel, yeah. For children. No movie. I did one movie that didn't come out yet, though.
Starting point is 00:03:54 So your parents is proud of you that you're an actor? They were proud. You make money? I make a little bit of money. How much money you make being in MTV movies? How much money I make? Maybe, I don't know, $100,000? $100,000?
Starting point is 00:04:11 Yeah. And nobody knows who you are. Nobody knows. This is unbelievable, Yorgi. So you making real money? I make real money, yeah. How much you telling the government you making? I have to tell them all the money I make.
Starting point is 00:04:25 This is not the way you You have to do nothing. Okay. You keep some for you, some for the government. So you put the cash underneath the rangers' mattress. You have rangers' sheets. You're sleeping. Islanders. Islanders.
Starting point is 00:04:38 Islanders. So you like hockey. Yes. So underneath the pajamas, you put the money in the mattress. Yeah. And then you tell the government that the empty business paid me $50,000. And then you pay taxes on the $50,000, and you keep the $50,000 for you and your family. How come you people don't understand this thing? Because what I think if we get caught, then we'll go to jail.
Starting point is 00:04:58 How are you going to get caught if you have money in your house? They have to have a search warrant to get to your house. So what's the problem? You're going to give them the money. Then they take the money. They have to have a search warrant to get to your house. So what's the problem? You're going to give them the money, then they take the money, they spend the money in Iraq, Afghanistan, they put in the money to Trump and George Bush's family to buy
Starting point is 00:05:15 more fish. So you're going to give money for his fish or you're going to have fish for your family? Yeah, I mean it makes sense the way you're saying it. Absolutely, baby. Yeah. Your family has to have fish. Fish? Fish. Yeah, I mean, it makes sense the way you're saying it. Absolutely, baby. Yeah. Your family has to have fish. Fish? Fish. Yeah, they're fish. You have to eat the fish. We eat the fish, yeah. Right, so you're not going to give the
Starting point is 00:05:32 fish to George Bush's family? No. To the Clinton family? To Hillary Clinton? To Donald Trump? His family here has enough fish. Yeah. So what? They need the money. You give the money. I have a little baby, too. She needs the fish. She needs the fish. Yeah. So what? They need the money. You give them money. I have a little baby, too. She needs the fish.
Starting point is 00:05:46 She needs the fish. Yeah. And you should be feeding the fish. What do you feed the baby? We feed her. She likes Nutella. It's very. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:05:55 It's nice. You put the Nutella in the crepes? Yes. It's very nice. How come Nutella is not chocolate? They say it's hazelnut. Hazelnut. This is chocolate. You pretend it to beelnut. Hazelnut, this is chocolate.
Starting point is 00:06:06 You pretend it to be something you're not. You're chocolate. Just call yourself chocolate. There's no difference between you. If you put the chocolate and you put the Nutella, somebody's going to tell you, be able to tell the difference between you. No way. It's chocolate.
Starting point is 00:06:18 Chocolate is chocolate. Yeah, that's it. It's like saying he's a Russian person. He's Ukrainian. Same thing. You're both Russian people. Chinese, Korean. He's Chinese.
Starting point is 00:06:31 He's Korean. You're both Chinese people. Your face look the same. Chinese. Same thing, Nutella and chocolate. Your face look the same. Makes sense. So this is good, Nutella.
Starting point is 00:06:42 You have to put the children. You have a baby girl. Baby girl. Two years old. Two, two. this is good. You have to put the children. You have a baby girl. Baby girl. Two years old. Two. Two. Two years old. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:06:48 Have to feed the fish. Lots of fish. Olive oil. Everything put in lemon. Okay. You put the bottle. Squeeze all lemon juice into the bottle. So give her all lemon juice.
Starting point is 00:07:02 Just pure lemon juice. Absolutely, baby. Keeps all the cancers no cancers you put the lemon here okay everything lemon lemon and feta cheese yeah lots of feta cheese okay so don't forget but put the key head nutella yep and then you put the cheese with the nutella inside the crepe perfect absolutely so nutella feta lemon crepe and olive oil and olive oil. And olive oil.
Starting point is 00:07:25 Everything put olive oil. Put it in her hair, everything? Everything put olive oil. Her hair. Yeah. Wash the body. So you put the olive oil. This is Jesus Christ.
Starting point is 00:07:33 She's Christian, right? You have a Christian baby. Christian, yeah. You cannot have a Muslim baby. No, no, no. She's Christian. She's Christian, yeah. The Stefano.
Starting point is 00:07:39 Yeah. This Italian. Yeah. Now, Italians are imitation Greek people. Yeah. So you basically, you cross to greek right but you you like um you like the polo with the big with the big emblem here yeah so it's like not the real polo the tj max polo rightx Polo. Right. Of people. Yeah. Considering the Greeks. But you're close relative to the Greek people.
Starting point is 00:08:06 So the thing is, Greeks started civilization, and I love the Greeks, and I respect them. The only thing I give us the edge on is food. I think Italians have the best food in the world. Italians have the best food in the world? Yeah, I think so. Really? I just... Really?
Starting point is 00:08:23 I think everybody wants Italian food. What's Italian food? Tell me. Chicken parmesan. It's Greek. Eggplant parmesan. Go ahead. What else do you have?
Starting point is 00:08:31 Lasagna. Greek. Skol pastitsio. What else do you have? Say your gods. You have the Roman gods. What gods do you have? Big Z.
Starting point is 00:08:39 Greek. We have Orezo. Same thing. Lamb. Everything's Greek. We had it first. Yeah? The Greek civilization was first and then what happened? Italian people came and started the Roman civilization. Lamb, everything's Greek. We had the first. Yeah? The Greek civilization was first, and then what happened?
Starting point is 00:08:46 Italian people came and started the Roman civilization, and they took the gods. So I'm going to have Georgie, he's pulled up the Greek god, and then they have the Italian version. Yeah. The Greek version, the first one is... So the Greek people is Michael Jordan, and Italian people, Kendall Gill. Kendall Gill. That's right, Kendall Gill. Kendall Gill. That's right. Kendall Gill.
Starting point is 00:09:07 He came later. He's not the same thing. It's imitation. Yeah, it's imitation. Harold Minor. Wow. Baby Jordan. That's right.
Starting point is 00:09:14 Yeah. You like basketball. You look at your basketball. Basketball guy, yeah. Big star, right? I could play, yeah. So I read here in Wikipedia page because I never heard of you. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:24 You're not a big actor. No offense. No. You're handsome, but not the actor handsome. Right. You look like you have a, Yorgi, doesn't he have a head of a Viking? Like he's conquering village, like a German. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:38 Killing, putting people in the ovens kind of head. He has like a Nazi head with his blonde hair. Yeah. You look like a, like You look like a pillager. Yeah. You pillage. You come to the village and you take it. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:51 You take it from the people. Yeah. So how come a white person, you're white. I'm white. How you play basketball? I don't know. My dad wanted me to play basketball. I could shoot.
Starting point is 00:10:02 I could shoot baskets well. Absolutely. This is what, if you're white, you have to shoot. You can't jump up there. No. So you're basketball. I could shoot. I could shoot baskets well. This is what, if you want, you have to shoot. You can't jump up there. No. So you shoot it. I shoot it. So I shoot the ball.
Starting point is 00:10:10 And I grew up in a predominantly black neighborhood where you had to play basketball to fit in. So that's what I did to fit in, is to play basketball. How come you're trying to fit in with the black people? Good people. Nothing wrong with black people, but how come you're not being Italian? Maybe because Italian culture is not that great no no i no i think i just i don't know i just wanted to be because i know i look like a viking pillager guy but i'm very nervous very anxious i want people to like me i have a lot of feelings emotions i'm not gay though jewish yeah you hang out with jewish
Starting point is 00:10:42 people you have neurosis neurosis yeah very jewish that's jewish jewish trade they have neurosis yeah you have pride i have pride because greeks have much pride much you know neuroses for the greeks baby no smoke a cigarette they have a couple lawyer so anytime you get nervous you take the worry beads it's called what it beats and you flip them boom and that's's like crack cocaine for Greek people. Yeah. It's like heroin. But we don't need heroin.
Starting point is 00:11:08 We have wordy beads. Boom. But I don't... Calms you down. See, I thought smoking, I would get nervous because I think I'd get cancer. And then coffee makes me too nervous. You have to have Greek cigarettes. Greek cigarettes.
Starting point is 00:11:18 Only the American cigarettes have cancer. Not Greek. This is George Bush family. Still George Bush family. Who's putting the cancer in cigarettes. Okay. It an American problem. We don't have cancer in Greece. This is France. We take the cigarette, dip it in water. Olive oil takes the cancer out of the cigarette. I see. Takes all the problem outside the baby. You have a baby girl. Yeah. She has a cold. Yeah. Take a bottle of olive oil.
Starting point is 00:11:46 Pour it right on her head. Takes the cold away. She has no cold. It's just olive oil. Okay. So you played basketball with the black people. Yes. Very nice.
Starting point is 00:11:57 So you had a good, you played, you were good. You're going to the Hall of Fame. In my college, I went to the Hall of Fame. For the Hall of Fame, for what community college you go to the Hall of Fame? St. Joseph's. St. Joseph's. College, yeah. Catholic school.
Starting point is 00:12:10 Catholic school. Yeah. This is where you play with other Italian people, no black people. No, there was one black person, yeah. One black. This is how come you're the Hall of Fame. Yeah. That's right.
Starting point is 00:12:19 Yeah. It's like going to the Hall of Fame for jazz music as a white person. This is only for the white. It's Kenny G. the Hall of Fame for jazz music as a white person. Yeah. This is only for the white jazz. Kenny G, elevator music jazz. Yes. This is what white basketball is. Yes.
Starting point is 00:12:33 Elevated, not the Duke Ellington. Kenny G. Yes. So you played in the Kenny G League. In the Kenny G League. That's right. That's where I played, yeah. So you shoot the basket. How many points do you average in the game?
Starting point is 00:12:42 I shoot, I averaged, my senior year, I averaged 25 points a game. Wow. Yeah. This is black statistics. Yeah, these are big numbers. This is a big number for me. Well, because my dad used to hold, he used to practice with me, and he would hold up a broomstick to mimic a black person's really long arms,
Starting point is 00:12:59 and I would shoot over the broomstick, and that's how I got good playing against them. What he called the broomstick? he would that's how i got good playing against them what he called the broomstick he named it leroy you might have to cut that part ah so literally i put his hand up yeah yeah i mean i'm not you know that's just what he called it it was it's it's offensive it's offensive but it's not the facts but he named it after a friend of he has a friend who's named leroy yeah this is a black name this is the problem we have in this country right now yeah this is why we have the morons who said you can't say things like this yeah you're supposed to call this dick steven yannis dimitri this is a black name. Although there's a few black people named Dimitri. Stavros, how are you supposed to call him?
Starting point is 00:13:48 Sven? This is basketball. Mostly black. So it's a Leroy stick. Or a Raheem stick. Yes. Right? Absolutely.
Starting point is 00:13:57 Yeah, because, you know, it wasn't a... You know, even my black friends would see it, and they thought it was... Everybody thought it was funny. Nobody was offended, because my dad had a friend named Leroy. Absolutely. Who was black.
Starting point is 00:14:06 Every black person has a family member named Leroy. Yeah. It's a black name. Yeah. That's all it is. But today. Yeah, you're getting in trouble. You say this to people.
Starting point is 00:14:14 They say, how come you still have to be black? I say, because I play basketball. This is what mostly black people. Very good basketball. It's a compliment. Yes. Like when they say, how come black people like watermelon? I never understand why this is a problem, Yorgi.
Starting point is 00:14:31 Who doesn't like watermelon? Yeah. What's the problem? It's a great fruit. It's a great fruit. The Greeks will love it. This is one of the primary desserts we have in Greece. Watermelon.
Starting point is 00:14:41 Watermelon. Absolutely. And fried chicken, they say too. Fried chicken. Who doesn't like fried chicken? It's the best. Very delicious. Absolutely. And fried chicken, they say too, but... Fried chicken? Who doesn't like fried chicken? It's the best. Very delicious. Yeah. What's the problem here? Yeah, I'm Italian. They say I eat pizza and sauce
Starting point is 00:14:51 and all that. I don't care. Very good food. I eat it. That's why I have a size 38 waist. I have a lot of carbs. You have 38 waist? 38 waist. Yeah, I blow out on the bottom. So I think if I was a Viking, I would be, my head and the top part of my body would be a leader but the bottom part would be a woman at home you were tending to the children yeah you
Starting point is 00:15:09 couldn't you actually do well back then because if you were like a viking yeah you would you would have to go shopping for the pants they would just give you they would give you a dress that's it so you put the dress on with the elastic here and you fit in there nobody knows this must be a real problem for you yeah Yeah. Yeah. Because I can't go into stores and buy pants my size because I have childbearing hips. Yeah. Like a woman he has. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:33 So it's always been a problem. So that's why I think, you know, people say, oh, you're handsome or this or that. Who says you're handsome? Well, some people have said that to me. But then when I take off my shirt, I look like a melting candle. Mentally challenged place you went to? Yeah. You're handsome? My mom told me I was handsome. Well, of course your mother's off my shirt, I look like a melting candle. Mentally challenged place you went to. Yeah. You're handsome.
Starting point is 00:15:46 My mom told me I was handsome. Well, of course, your mother's going to, nobody loves you like a mommy. Yeah. But you're not handsome. You're like, you look like, if you're in the movies, like a stuntman. They put you in to make sure the actor doesn't get hurt. Right. His face.
Starting point is 00:16:03 Tom Cruise. He's handsome. John Stamos. Ha, handsome John Stamos Tom Cruise. He's handsome. John Stamos. Ha, handsome John Stamos. You know John Stamos? John Stamos, yeah. This has a face like Jesus Christ. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:16:12 John Stamos. Now, this is a movie star. Yes. You look like action hero, the bad guy. You're going to be the bad guy trying to kill the rock. Right. You put the rock in the headlock and then he gives you an elbow and breaks your nose. That's it.
Starting point is 00:16:22 This is your movie career. Right here. Look at what we have here. That's now can we put the christy stuff in our face next to john stamos please jorgie if we could do this look how small i am here inside the video look at this here i'm trapped in here this is technology here greek technology my friend my son george was a genius and he makes the technology So look at the people at home here on the YouTube watching this here. Look what we have here on the right here. Look at this face.
Starting point is 00:16:51 This face look like it's committing a war crime. This is war crime face here. Pillage in the video. Now look at the beautiful statue face we have here. This is council. Yeah. This is a... You want to get your family mother to yeah you got your in the dog if I've cuts my daughter with someone
Starting point is 00:17:11 like you is here I'm going to kill you yes for the second we're going to kill you come to Ridgewood here yeah and we take you out yeah because you cannot come my daughter with my daughter sis for Greeks only okay great you have a dead degree girl um I never dated a Greek girl no good absolutely very nice sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister
Starting point is 00:17:29 sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister Wow. Yeah, they stay away. You have a baby with a Puerto Rican. Yeah, which is a very common New York thing. A lot of Italians are with the Puerto Ricans. A lot of Puerto Rican people in New York City here. A lot of Puerto Ricans. A lot of Italians. This happens.
Starting point is 00:17:51 Same neighborhood. Happens. Yeah. This is not so much a problem. Not so much a problem. No. The problem is you have values. Family values.
Starting point is 00:18:00 Yes. In the house. Yes. So you married? We're not married, no. What? No. You didn't get married in the church? No, So you married? We're not married, no. What? No. You didn't get married in the church?
Starting point is 00:18:07 No, we didn't get married. No. See, this is a problem. This is a breakdown in the society here. How come you didn't have the baby with the mother? What's your parents? What did your parents say? My parents, they weren't happy with it at first, but they accepted it now.
Starting point is 00:18:21 And her family is okay that you are an actor? I think so. You go to play in the stage? Yeah, they like to come to the shows. So you perform? Yeah, stand-up comedy, I perform. Oh, you do comedy. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:18:37 It's a Greek thing. Oh, it's Greek, too? Absolutely. They invented comedy. Oh. Aristophanes. This is the first comedy. It's a tragedy comedy.
Starting point is 00:18:44 This is Greek. Oh, it's Greek. Okay. But it's stand-up comedy. So. Aristophanes. This is the first comedy. Tragedy comedy. This is Greek. Oh, it's Greek. Okay. But it's stand-up comedy. So this is a play? You have children do this in school? No. No, no, no.
Starting point is 00:18:52 No, mine's more like adult stuff. I go up there on stage. I do, you know, 45 minutes. And I just talk about my life. So when are you going to get the job? I mean, I have a job. No, but a real job. Well, I used to be a physical therapist.
Starting point is 00:19:04 Like a business. Well, I used to be a physical therapist. You're a mafia. Why don't you become the Cristofano? This is what the Italians do, right? Yeah, the mafia. You started the mafia. I know.
Starting point is 00:19:11 I don't know anybody in the mafia, though, anymore. It's done. Rudy Giuliani disbanded it. He got rid of the mafia. Yeah, he got rid of the mafia. Italian on Italian crime here. Yeah, yeah. Giuliani puts you out.
Starting point is 00:19:20 Put me out. So I used to be a physical therapist, and now I do comedy. So my mom didn't like that when I left physical therapy to do this. You left a physical therapy job? Yeah, she got it. To go play dress-up and put the chicken costume on and go talk to people and make a comedy? Yeah, I know. At first, it seemed like a bad decision at the time, but now it's working out.
Starting point is 00:19:41 Now I'm doing okay. Let me have your mother's number because I want to talk to your mommy. Okay. I know she's upset, very sad. She's sad, yeah. I'm going to give her a free cheeseburger when she comes to the restaurant. Okay.
Starting point is 00:19:54 And give her my condolences that her son's dressing a chicken outfit on the stage with the children. Instead of doing a job, he went to physical therapy. It's a real job. Real job. Helping people.
Starting point is 00:20:07 And you gave up a job, a life making money, making real money. You told me before you're making $100,000. Doing this, yeah. This was a good joke. I played along.
Starting point is 00:20:17 That was nice. That's funny. Nobody's making $100,000 doing chicken, dressing as a chicken, making jokes. It's ridiculous. So get rid of the hobby.
Starting point is 00:20:29 Go back to the job. Make your family happy, Christy Stefano. All right. All right. I'll try. What's this going to take you, this hobby? You going to be Kevin Hart? I hope so.
Starting point is 00:20:42 He's funny. Yeah. You funny? I mean, yeah. You never even saw him. Georgie. He's funny. Yeah. You funny? I mean, yeah. You never even saw him. He's funny? He's a fan. So you have some fans. Not many.
Starting point is 00:20:56 He's being nice. I'll check you out. We'll see how you're doing. On YouTube. So what else do you have going on? If you're a big star. What else? Well, I just tried to get my own show on TV. It didn't work out. Everybody said no. And now I'm going to do my own special on TV.
Starting point is 00:21:15 I'm going to do an hour special of my comedy. I'll put it on TV. You can see it. Special? Special, yeah. What is a special? For special people? No, no.
Starting point is 00:21:24 For everybody. It's just my one hour i'll be on the network just me doing my comedy doing the comedy doing the comedy what does this mean doing the comments a play you're doing a play no i stand up there a cast and you're making a play no i stand up there and i tell jokes by yourself by myself you get the money for this i get money how much money you're making money for this? I get money for that. How much money you making for this? This is ridiculous. That's, you know, you make good money on that. Really?
Starting point is 00:21:50 You make real money, yeah, yeah, yeah. I make a lot of money on that. Yeah, that's how I feed my family. That's how I pay for my house. More than you making as a physical therapist? Oh yeah, I can make twice as much. Okay, maybe I'll watch the clip. Yeah, watch the clip. We don't, but you should get the mafia job. You're making the most money as an Italian person. As a mafia, yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:11 Greeks, you want to know the Greek mafia? Yeah. We don't have them because we're not animals. We're Greeks. We're civilized. We don't have a mafia. We're not stealing from people. We're working every day.
Starting point is 00:22:24 So anyway, Chrissy's here. I like you, Chrissy. Oh, thank you. I like you. He's a nice boy. I want your mommy's number, though, because this is tragedy. This is a tragedy that you gave up a good job. All right.
Starting point is 00:22:34 All right. But supposedly, you make money, you make money. So this is good. So we have two things we want to talk about here to the people and to you here. You tell me what you think here so the first thing is uh the president the vice president put his picture up yorkie look at this look at this statue holy talking about going from from the best to the worst. We just went from Bloomingdale's and John Stamos' picture down to Filene's basement right here. Look at TJ Maxx's face right here.
Starting point is 00:23:11 He looks like a corpse. Look, doesn't he look scary? Doesn't he look like he's going to be in a movie with Jason Voorhees Friday the 13th? Yeah, he looks like he's in It. He's ugly. So this is the Vice President Cracker. He's Crer in charge of the united states under the audience man the donald trump here so he went to the football game
Starting point is 00:23:33 to watch the football and the players they kneeled yeah the black players all your friends from the basketball. Yes. They kneel. And he leaves the game. He leaves. So he took it. And then he posted a picture on his Twitter. From that he's at the game. Yeah. The coach game. But the picture is from 2014.
Starting point is 00:24:00 Wow. And this whole thing. Him going to the game. And then him leaving the game right before, cost the taxpayers like over $100,000. $200,000. He's stealing
Starting point is 00:24:13 from the people. Wow. What do you think about this, Chrissy? Look here. This is the picture. Yeah. Now this was the actual picture of him at the game. So this is what he tweeted afterwards we're so proud to stand here blah blah blah blah blah to stand with the soldiers and flags this is what they do in the fascist countries they worship in the flag they're making everybody stand on the
Starting point is 00:24:37 tension the the symbols this is fascism this is what the nazis did yeah what's the problem with the with the black people kneeling in the center? This is more respect if you're kneeling for something. Yeah, I agree with you on that. I think that it should be, these players should do whatever they want to do. I don't think, it's not like they're kneeling, they're not, you know, attributing ISIS. They're just, you know, they're not the enemy.
Starting point is 00:25:01 They're just, they want to do what they want to do. What happens when you want to get married? Yeah. You go on the knee. You go on the knee. And you give it to the woman. So they treat the flag like a woman. Like a woman.
Starting point is 00:25:11 Like they want to marry. This is respect. I think it's respectful. It's showing respect. And the actual story is that the first person to kneel, he was Colin Kaepernick. Yes. He spoke to the Navy SEAL. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:25:27 And he was... First, he was sitting. Kaepernick. Then he started kneeling because he spoke to the military guy. And the military guy said, hey, a lot of people die here protecting the freedom. So, do you mind if you kneel? Yeah. So, he's actually doing...
Starting point is 00:25:43 He said, no problem. I don't want to disrespect the military. This is not about disrespecting the military. No. This is about the protest for police officers killing black people. That's what it is. And you know, Kaepernick's girlfriend is Egyptian. Really?
Starting point is 00:25:57 Yeah, Egyptian, another ancient society. Absolutely. Yeah. Poor people. But did the Egyptians come first or the Greeks? Well, the Egyptians, they say it was first. They said the Egyptians was first. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:26:08 But they started. I mean, you have to get the start. Like, when you have a relay race, who you put? You put the first runners. He's a decent runner. Yeah. But then who closed the race? Who closes it?
Starting point is 00:26:21 Yeah, the best. The best. Yeah. The Greeks. We're closing. Yeah. So we're the closer. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:26:26 We're the, you know, we're the good starting pitcher. Yeah. So, like, for baseball, we have, like, Kluber for Cleveland. Yes. He got seven innings strong. Yes. Like this. We, this doesn't make sense.
Starting point is 00:26:44 Because I'm saying we it's chips and people is good people but they didn't really have civilization no no they have mommies mommies have mommies Cleopatra look at the buildings in making you see the drawings? Yeah. It looks like a children's drawing. Children's, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:27:08 And you see the buildings they have? Yeah. It's a triangle. Triangle, yeah. Like a children. Yeah. Like a children coloring book. And then you see the Greek buildings?
Starting point is 00:27:17 Yes. They still have a Greek building. Let me ask you a question. When you go to the White House, when you go to Supreme Court, you going inside the triangle no no where you going in oh uh how a rectangle i guess greco-roman columns baby greco-roman columns out front this is greek style this is greco-greek architecture right so it's all greek it's all greek have more of an impact? Greek. Greek people. Yeah. Absolutely. So listen, Mike Pence. Fuck you.
Starting point is 00:27:48 This is ridiculous. This is supposed to be free. This is what the Greek civilization brought to the people, democracy and freedom. We're not going to stand there and salute and act like a fascist Nazis. You do it, you have a protest, protest. What's the problem? Mind your business. Everybody has a right to do whatever they want.
Starting point is 00:28:07 Which brings us to the next thing we have here, Mr. DiStefano. The Italian Stallion. Yes. You're handsome. Oh, thank you. I saw you was going to cry because I put you next to John Stamos. Yeah. Listen, you put anyone's picture next to John Stamos.
Starting point is 00:28:23 Yeah. It's going to go down Yeah It's going to go down It's going to go down You're going to look very bad next to Stamos Stamos But he's okay, right? Yorg is a big fan Oh, thank you
Starting point is 00:28:31 I've never heard of you Yeah He wanted to have you in here Yeah Because he's watching the young comedians Yeah So he puts you here Alright
Starting point is 00:28:38 So this is a favor for my son Because I love my son Yorg Aki He's a good boy He's having sex with all the women oh nice absolutely but don't hey you're you don't give him any Christina's information this is my daughter oh okay single tiny young girl miss my daughter she's 47 years old assistant speaking nobody so even if you want you has to be Greek. So even if you want, you have to be Greek. Have to be Greek.
Starting point is 00:29:07 Have to be Greek, baby. Anyway, so the next thing we have. So shut the fuck up, Mike Pence. This is a problem. Who cares? You're spending the taxpayer money. You're stealing people's money to put a political stone.
Starting point is 00:29:21 So stop this thing. So the next thing we have, this is a big issue here in america and also in greece we have the same problem here is uh this is greek news we're doing so they're having a gender the gender identity bill okay it's a gender identity bill they're having the pass in the parliament in greece it's the same thing as congress yeah we call it the Είναι μια γενική ιδέα που έχουν στην παρλυμπιακή. Στην Ελλάδα. Είναι το ίδιο που το κάνει η Κύριο Κύριο. Την ονομάζουμε την παρλυμπιακή στην Ελλάδα. Έχουν ένα νόμιμο που θέλουν να το κάνουν... Εδώ το έχουμε. Να το κάνουν όπως αν η γυναίκα θέλει να είναι η μωρή της.
Starting point is 00:29:58 Όπως ο Γιάννης Πάππας, ένας κομινιστής, που έχει φίλους που κάνει διάστημα με το κρίτσο. Like Yanis Papas, a comedian, he has his friend who he does shows with, the creature thing. Yes. Marissa. Yes. The creature. Creature. The creature thing.
Starting point is 00:30:09 It. Like the movie It, Stephen King. Yes. Coming this summer, Marissa, the creature, coming at you. Are you a girl or a boy? You have to choose. So they say they want to make the legal recognition of gender identity a huge positive step. This is the goal of the bill.
Starting point is 00:30:30 The bill was met with a lot of opposition from members of the government's junior coalition party, the right-wing party. The right. The right. They have a left and they have a right just like here in Greece. So the church, the Greek Orthodox Church is against this. the right I have a left and I have a right just like here in Greece so the the church the Greek Orthodox Church is against this they against the gender identity bill that they proposing here in the heated exchange yeah so the big fear is that this bill will... The men who want to get out of military, which is mandatory in Greece, military service, will become girls to avoid the military.
Starting point is 00:31:17 Wow. So it's the fear that they're going to try to become a girl to get out of the military service. Now, this is ridiculous. Let me first say something here, then we're going to ask you what your opinion is. Okay. Let me just say real quickly here. There's no Greek who has a penis and he has balls underneath the penis, no matter if he's a gay person or a straight person,
Starting point is 00:31:42 who does not want to fight the Turkish people. There's no such thing. So nobody's trying to get out of military service if he has a penis and the ball's underneath the penis. There's nobody who's trying to get out. So this first I just said this is ridiculous. There's no such thing as a Greek who
Starting point is 00:31:59 want to fight the Turkish people. Yeah. Even the women is going to fight the Turkish people. Yeah, women are going to fight the Turkish people. Yeah, that's your enemy. It's like having a mouse in your house. You put the trap down, you kill them. No matter if you scare the mouses, you have to get rid of the mouse in your house. Yes. So this is not
Starting point is 00:32:16 true. There's nobody going to be putting the dress on to get out of the military service to protect the homeland, the motherland, Greece. This is ridiculous. Ridiculous. Absolutely. Yeah. So what do you think about the creature people? The creature people? You know, I think
Starting point is 00:32:33 people do whatever they want to their own bodies. It doesn't bother me as long as you know, it doesn't bother me at all. Whatever anybody wants to do. I don't want to do it, but I, you know, I don't know. I had my dad in my life. That's right, you have family values.
Starting point is 00:32:50 No, I'm kidding. Except you became a comedian. Became a comedian. Disappointed. You rebelled a little bit. I had a friend, one of my friends, he made out with a girl who he thought was a girl and it turned out it was a guy, but he said he liked her, so he went on a few more dates with her, even knowing it was a guy.
Starting point is 00:33:08 But she was fully transformed. So why are you calling it a her if you said it's a he who's pretending to be a she? Is it a he or a her? I guess it's a her. It was born a he, but it's a her. That's how he was looking at it. But we still said, well, you're gay now. And he said, no, I'm not.
Starting point is 00:33:25 She had a penis? She did not I'm not. She had a penis? She did not have a penis. She removed the penis? She removed the penis. She put the tits on? She put the tits on. She put the hair long? She put the hair long.
Starting point is 00:33:34 She had the makeup here? Yeah. You have a picture? Nah, shit. No, I don't. Did she have Adam's apple? I think so. Oh, that's the problem here. That's the problem. So everything else is female except the Adam's apple? I think so. Oh, that's the problem here.
Starting point is 00:33:45 That's the problem. So everything else is female except the Adam's apple. Adam's apple. How about the big hands? Yeah. Big hands. Big hands, yeah. But she had no penis.
Starting point is 00:33:54 No penis. She had it removed. Removed. Wow. The vagina, yeah. She had a makeover. Makeover. So she changed.
Starting point is 00:34:01 So this is something that's happening now. Yes. That you can change from the penis. Like Kate and Jenner. Yeah, so where she put the penis? Inside? I don't know what they do with it. How you have sex with this creature thing?
Starting point is 00:34:16 People, they say it feels like a regular vagina. I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. I mean, don't know. I don't know. I mean, now I'm almost convinced, like, going through dating now, like, I'll probably eventually hook up with a woman who used to be a man. Because you don't know. You can't tell the difference. You look at the pull these pictures up, you can't tell the difference.
Starting point is 00:34:35 So she was a beautiful man? She was a beautiful man, yeah. Well, this is a... Oh, you know what? What? And her name was Nina. She may have been Greek. Nina.
Starting point is 00:34:46 That's a Greek name. Could be Greek. Could be Greek. She could be Greek. She could be Greek. Listen, this is modern society here. Yes. Greece, I have to say this here.
Starting point is 00:34:57 Nobody's trying to get out the military service who has a penis and balls under the penis. You have a penis and balls under there, you're fighting. You have bigger problems, Greece, than to try to figure out what's going to happen with the gender identity bill. I don't even know what that means. You have to fix the economy here. You have to keep the Germans outside of the money. You have to worry about the Chinese
Starting point is 00:35:22 trying to sneak into the country underneath the ground and stealing all the money. The Chinese is buying a ball of grease. Oh, yeah. They're buying a ball of grease. Yeah. Yeah. You got to protect. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:35:34 You can't have them do that. And they turn invisible. They turn invisible. What? Absolutely. They turn invisible. How? Because the Chinese. Okay. They's chinese they okay they have the power
Starting point is 00:35:47 they have that power how come as black people can jump in and play basketball it's power black people yes how come italian people is so good at stealing greek culture you italian how come greek people so genius because we greek people how come Chinese people can turn invisible and steal money? Because they're Chinese. That's what it is. How come German people want to take over the world and want to kill everybody who doesn't have a blonde hair? Because
Starting point is 00:36:15 they're German Nazis. You can't change a German. You can't. A German is a German. I look like. I fit in. Right? So this is what's confusing here. The name is Di Stefano. Yes. I look like. I fit in, right? You look like. So this is what's confusing here. The name is Di Stefano. Yes. Di Stefano, but the face is more
Starting point is 00:36:31 Heisenhosen. So how this couple? Maybe, I think maybe my mom is Irish and German. So my dad's Italian. Ah. Irish and German and Italian. You're gay.
Starting point is 00:36:47 So he's German. This makes sense here. Yeah. So you have a little Nazi blood in there. Yeah, but I don't agree with anything that they stand for. Really? But you can't help it. No, I can't.
Starting point is 00:36:58 I am German. This is a deep desire. Yeah, I am German. You look at me, you want to put me in the oven. No. Kind of a little bit. Maybe a little bit. A little bit. Yeah, maybe a little bit. You can't help it. you want to put me in the oven no kind of a little bit maybe a little bit little bit yeah maybe a little bit you can't help it you want to do this yeah that's just because i
Starting point is 00:37:09 hate your mustache the mustache yeah what's wrong with the mustache i just looks it looks like a like a pedophile this is not this is called the great message this is a traditional cretan fish on my mustache this is what handsome this is what real men have, mustache. Mustache. Absolutely. Yeah. Absolutely. So I didn't know you was a German. Yeah. But listen, Greek, you have bigger problems, Greece. You have bigger problems. You have Chinese to worry about.
Starting point is 00:37:35 You don't have to be worrying about the boys in dresses. This is freedom. Listen, you may not agree, but this is what freedom is. Everybody's different. You can't say, you can never say to people hey i love freedom and then say but i don't like what he's doing right that's not freedom not freedom that's not free i agree you have to do what you do and then he doesn't if he wants to become a shit this isn't the craziest thing we've ever seen happen no it's his right and you know
Starting point is 00:38:04 you know what's even crazier than that? What? Donald Trump becoming president. Why don't we put a bill to show how crazy that is? If you know this was more impossible than a boy becoming a girl? Is a moron becoming president? Now this transgender from a moron to president is a real transgender problem. Yes.
Starting point is 00:38:27 Absolutely. Yes. Anyway. So, this goes out to millions and millions and millions of people. Okay. We have millions of people listening here. Okay. This is because everybody wants to hear the genius.
Starting point is 00:38:40 They want to be a part of the genius conversation. Yes. We had a very nice conversation. Yeah, I liked it. It was nice to meet you. It was nice to meet you. You're a very nice young boy. I hope that you have a very successful career in physical therapy. I hope after having
Starting point is 00:38:54 a conversation with Mr. Panos, you learn your ways. Yes. The mistakes. And you leave the chicken costume. Go to physical therapy, which is a real career. Yes. Get married. You have to get married. Okay.
Starting point is 00:39:09 In the church. Okay. And I also hope you start to learn more about the Greek values. Okay. In your time. I'll try. Go read the philosophers and learn about what the logic and reason is. We invented these things. Okay. Okay Okay Alright, thank you
Starting point is 00:39:26 So what do you want to tell the people? Where can they find you? Where can they see you? Well, you can find me at ChrisDComedy.com Comedy Acting school Acting school
Starting point is 00:39:36 Or ChrisDComedy on Instagram and Twitter And yeah, I guess any physical therapy clinic You know, in your local area Hopefully Hopefully I'll be working there If I can even get a job I don't know, I guess I'm, any physical therapy clinic, you know, in your local area. Hopefully. Hopefully I'll be working there, if I can even get a job. I don't know, I haven't done it now in five years. I'll try. But I have a Greek professor, Dr. Peter Douris, who said he'd always give me a job.
Starting point is 00:39:56 Because Greeks is good people. Greeks are good people. He lives in Astoria. That's all the Greeks. And you have a Greek friend, too. I have a Greek friend. His name is Chris Kataviotis. Absolutely. That's Greek, baby. And you have a Greek friend, too. I have a Greek friend. His name is Chris Katalaviotis. Absolutely.
Starting point is 00:40:06 That's Greek, baby. Yes. Absolutely. When you have a hard time pronouncing the last name. Greek. When the last name sounds like it could be a pharmaceutical that helps you sleep. Greek. Absolutely.
Starting point is 00:40:18 Well, thank you, Chrissy. Chrissy DiStefano. Here's his name. He's an actor. He's in the movies, MTV movies. Very good people. He's a German. The whole episode, he pretended he wasn't a German, but guess what happened?
Starting point is 00:40:33 Genius Mr. Panos is looking in the face. He sees the German features. He sees the blonde hair. He knows we have an undercover German here. He's Italian and German. Just like the dream for Mussolini and Hitler. These people, thank
Starting point is 00:40:48 God, they didn't have any power. We put them back down. So, listen. Let the people do what they want, Greece. You have bigger problems. Be free. And Mike Pence, fuck you. And George Bush, start stealing all the fish. I'm Mr. Panos
Starting point is 00:41:04 and we'll see you nextο, σωστά? Ωραία! Γεια σας, όλοι!

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