Yannis Pappas Hour - Party’s Over
Episode Date: December 16, 2022It’s the last scene in Good Fellas & everyone is going to prison.Sponsorhttps://www.bespokepost.com/startSee Yannis livePhilly Dec 29-31Miami Jan 13-15West Nyack NY Jan 20-22San Diego Jan 26-28C...hicago Feb 24-26Atlantic City March 3rdEmmaus Pa, March 4DC March 9-11Dallas March 16-18Springfield MO March 23-25Phoenix March March 30-4/1Tampa April 21-22San Fran May 4-6Providence May 12-13Watch Yanni’s stand up special: https://youtu.be/ArlCFemEDvQJoin our Patreon for hilarious bonus episodes each week: https://www.patreon.com/yannilongdaysJoin our highlights page for highlight clips of every episode: https://youtube.com/channel/UCfMy34qIYYy7XiRaHKO1ykwNew episodes every Friday night and new bonus every week on Patreon.com/yannilongdays Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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What's up, everybody? Before we start this episode of the Giannis Pappas Hour, I want to tell you
about some of my live dates where you can come see me perform and have an absolute good time.
I will make you laugh. I swear to God I'll make you laugh. I will be tonight, if you're watching
this, I am in Charlotte tomorrow night as well. There's two shows. It's December 15th through the 17th. And Philly, December 29th through the 31st.
New Year's Eve.
And New Year's Eve Eve.
Get your tickets.
GiannisPappasComedy.com for all these dates.
Miami.
Miami, Florida.
January 13th through the 15th.
West Nyack, New York.
At the Palisades Mall in a beautiful club called
Levity Live. January 20th through the 22nd.
San Diego, January 26th through the 28th.
Chicago.
Chicago.
February 24th through the 26th.
February 24th through the 26th at Zaney's in Chicago.
Atlantic City, March 3rd.
Amios, Pennsylvania?
Who cares?
March 4th.
D.C. area, March 9th through the 11th at Arlington
Dallas, Texas
Plano March 16th through the 18th
Springfield, Missouri March
23rd through the 25th House of Comedy
in Phoenix March 30th through April
1st Tampa April 21st
22nd San Francisco May 4th
through May 6th Providence, Rhode
Island May 12th through the 13th and
also Connecticut at Mohican Sun and Comics somewhere in there who cares Francisco May 4th through May 6th, Providence, Rhode Island May 12th through the 13th, and also
Connecticut at Mohican Sun and Comics, somewhere in there, who cares?
Patreon.com slash Yanni Long Days for your weekly bonus episodes. This is an amazing episode, enjoy.
Welcome to the brand new Yannnis Pappas Hour.
At the top of the hour,
we got a lot of
the party is over
type of news
going on in the world today.
Harry Plotter,
Sam Bankman Fried,
is going down.
He is going down on
eight counts of
being a scumbag.
They went to the Bahamas and they pulled him by the collar
and they said, listen, scumbag, you're going down.
And boy, is he upset about prison
because they don't have any vegan options.
I think that's probably the least of your problems there, Sammy.
I don't know if the lack of vegan options
is really going to bother you
when you're swallowing a sausage attached to a man.
That's where you're headed.
The kid's going to prison.
He's the millennial Madoff, baby.
The party is over.
They're coming.
This is the end of Goodfellas when they're just locking everybody up.
They're going around.
The SEC has raised an investigation.
They're doing an investigation into Wall Street.
Well, it's not an investigation.
They're proposing market rules.
You know, they haven't done that since 2005.
So the party's over for these Wall Street types.
They're coming in again, trying to sweep up.
They're trying to sweep up the garbage and the scumbags.
It's been a real era of scumbags running free, running free,
like a horse on the beach without a saddle,
slow motion with Brooke Shields up there as a young actress
and her titties bouncing around. That's
been the era. It's been crypto, NFTs, low interest rates, money, money, money, money, money, online
grifts, five ways to be a man and get rich. It's all coming down. I'm an Instagram model. I'm in
18 different cities on my Instagram page. What that means is I'm a prostitute. I'm a prostitute.
My Patreon is booming. The party's over. The lights are on and the police are present
because layoffs are happening at Amazon, Washington Post, New York Times.
Amazon, Washington Post, New York Times.
Listen, your podcast is going to fail.
If it's starting now, it will fail.
It is over.
Everybody's got to get back to work.
I think it's back to, it's going to be back to, what do you call those jobs?
Cold calling.
It's back to those marketing jobs, those hell marketing jobs.
Temp agencies are coming back.
There's going to be a lot of former podcasters, former influencers who are heading back to online marketing.
Cold calling.
You're going to get on the phone.
Hi, mister.
I got a great opportunity for you.
Marketing.
Telemarketing jobs are coming back.
Investigations of everything coming.
As soon as the Republicans get that house,
they're going to investigate what kind of underwear I got on.
They're going to investigate what Hunter Biden had for dinner.
AOC is going to be investigated.
Ron DeSantis is proposing an investigation into the COVID vaccines.
So the party's over for everybody.
It's really going down.
The only people who are still partying
are Venezuelans trying to get into the border, baby.
They're waiting for a COVID error restriction to drop
and then they're running in.
It's like, you know, when you're on,
when it's Black Friday, right after Thanksgiving
and everyone's right outside the door
waiting for that bell to run
and they bum rush the door.
That's what the migrants are waiting for
down there in El Paso.
They're waiting for the bell to ring
after Biden says
that Trump era,
that Trump era policy is over.
They're going to go,
ole, ole, ole.
I like to live in America.
Everything's free in America.
Welcome to America.
Guys, it's the Yanis Pappas hour.
And let's find out what's the Dulles. The party's over for everybody.
Even the kid who was tracking Elon Musk's jet.
Elon Musk spent $44 billion to catch this kid.
All right?
Sometimes, what do they say? You got to get your hands a little dirty to catch the kid. All right? Sometimes, what do they say?
You got to get your hands a little dirty to catch the crook?
So we really just found out what the real reason was
that Elon Musk purchased Twitter.
I bet you now that he's taken down this kid's account,
which he promised he wouldn't.
He tweeted that he would not take down this kid's account
because he's a free speech champion.
He's a free,'s a free speech champion.
He's a free, on a George Michael level.
Freedom, I won't let you down, freedom.
I won't give you up unless you're tracking my personal plane. And then I'm going to send a smoke screen by acting bipolar on Twitter
and tweeting prosecute Fauci
and then secretly just remove the kid who's been tracking my plane.
Because free speech has limits, guys.
Free speech without responsibility
can get a little tyrannical.
And I know some people gave me a little bit of a problem
when I said that, right?
Because I've said that.
I said free speech without responsibility is tyranny. But then there was this congresswoman who had these hearings where she was
talking to one of these activists from Harvard and asked her, do you think, do you think inflammatory rhetoric is dangerous to people?
And the,
and the woman's going,
yes,
yes.
And then she goes,
well,
let me read you some of your former tweets.
And her former tweets were definitely inflammatory.
It was a representative named Nancy Mace.
And she was talking to this LGTBQC,
ABC, one, two,C ABC 123 RFG RSV
C O V I D G F Y activist
and she set her up it was a set up
it was a set up hold one my trader joe's instant coffee
straight out of a microwave that may or may not be still be working it doesn't work that tastes like shit water holy macaroni is that bad her name is alexandra caraballo
and she's a transgender rights activist and harvard law clinical instructor and so mace or
macy whatever her name is said um mrs uh caraballo do you, do you think that online rhetoric leads to violence?
And she went down the line of all the activists,
and they were all like, absolutely, absolutely, absolutely,
because they didn't see the trick coming.
They didn't know they were being set up.
They didn't know they were being punked.
They didn't see Ashton Kutcher behind the curtain,
because then Republican Macy pulled up her tweet They didn't know they were being punked. They didn't see Ashton Kutcher behind the curtain.
Because then Republican Macy pulled up her tweet.
And one of her tweets said, and I'm sure it's one amongst many, said,
the six justices who overturned Roe should never know peace again.
It is our civic duty to accost them every time they're in public.
They are pariahs. Since women don't have their rights,
these justices should never have a peaceful moment in public again.
And, of course, there was that one guy that, right,
was, like, outside of Kavanaugh's house with, like, zip ties and a gun
and shit like that trying to kill him and whatever.
So, yeah, I mean, you know,
there is a such thing as irresponsible free speech.
You got to be responsible.
You can't just track a guy's plane.
I mean, that's not free speech.
Even though Elon said he would never ban him because he was a free speech activist, you know.
Hey, Elon.
Here, Elon.
We should have a deck of cards where I just pull out a fucking bullshit card.
I go, it's just bullshit.
It says a B, and it's just bullshit.
Here's just bullshit. It says a B and it's just bullshit.
Here's his reason.
Uh,
Elon Musk explained,
uh, the suspension,
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uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, Okay. Okay. A written posting of someone's location. Okay.
Violates doxing policy,
but delayed posting of locations.
Okay.
So in other words,
if he had,
if he had,
if he,
if he, if he traces it,
but then posts it an hour later.
Anyway,
anyway,
anyway,
I can say whatever I want.
Cause it's down is basically this tweet.
Again, it bears repeating.
He specifically tweeted that he was so pre-speech that he would not touch this
guy's account.
So, I mean, even your little hero.
Does everyone need a hero right now?
Have you noticed like how far up people's like certain public figures people's
people are in their assholes i mean they're sniffing it like a dog at the dog park dog
it's like desantis trump elon there's like heroes like aoc everyone needs like a freaking a hero
everyone's just like a butt sniffer it's we've become a country of butt sniffers.
The account, which had 500,000 followers.
People just want to track his plane.
Oh, cool.
He's in San Jose.
I mean, what?
Do you people have anything to do?
Who's interested in where his plane is?
But anyway, I don't think you should be able to do that.
Track the plane?
Yeah, I don't think you should be able to track a guy's private plane.
I mean, that's not cool, right? It's a security risk, right?
He's not a public figure.
Well, if you want to track it, they moved to Mastodon,
which is the new left Twitter now.
Oh, Mastodon?
Mm-hmm.
Oh, yeah.
So that's where moral things like that are going on.
Yeah.
Because we need to know where he is.
So, yeah, Mastodon.
And Mastodon will keep it up.
Well, they'll keep it up because it's Elon Musk's plane,
and they have a bone to pick with Elon now because Elon is wild.
Elon is acting wild, though, on Twitter.
I wonder if we're all just going to become bipolar now.
His behavior is a little bipolar-ish.
He's like the CEO of major companies and an international figure
and the richest man in the world. He's got contracts with the government. He's got the CEO of like major companies and like an international figure and the richest man in the world.
He's got contracts with the government.
He's got stock prices.
And he's just up there on Twitter going,
my pronouns are Prosecute Fauci.
You're going, I'm not sure.
Like those are dinner party comments.
That's at a dinner party
with you and Joe over a little elk meat.
Okay?
The culture wars are irresistible.
The culture wars are irresistible.
That's a good point. They're irresistible, right?
They're so irresistible.
Correct me if you think I'm wrong.
This is sort of the
perpetual
dance that happens
ad infinitum between the foot soldiers of the left and right.
One side exaggerates the issue and the other side denies the truth. And then it just goes
around and around and around. You know, one side inflates an issue and the other side denies the reality of the issue.
And it just, the weight of that just rolls it forward
into the fire, you know?
Into the fire that's cooking our egg.
The flames from hell that make our sunny side up edge egg heads
heads i couldn't get the word egg out so um yeah that's what that's what elon is busy doing
elon is is it had he had a personal gripe and he went all the way to buying Twitter to take.
Dude, he's basically John Wick with money.
He was like he had a vendetta,
and he used his money to track this kid down.
You know he was laying awake one night and was like,
I've had enough of this kid.
I've had enough.
Yeah, but he got booed in San Franciscoisco i don't think that's as big as
the story as anything i mean he's in san francisco didn't he just lay off half of the city yeah
so they're a little upset about that i love the fact that he's treating these twitter employees
like they're in the military though that's fun yeah they're like sleeping on beds uh he's he's
pulling in he's bringing in like air mattresses.
Next move is to relocate to Austin.
You know that.
Yeah, well, he's going to do that probably, right?
To save a couple of dollars.
A couple of dollars.
Or I just think he's just going to blow the whole thing up
now that he got the kids a countdown.
Maybe he's just done now.
That would be really interesting if his tweets just became
extremely non-inflammatory now.
And they were very tame.
If he just went right back to just tweeting about climate issues like Leonardo DiCaprio.
You ever go to Leonardo DiCaprio's smokescreen of an account?
All he tweets about is climate change, you know,
as if he can understand any of the intricacies of that issue to distract from the fact that the kid is making
probably 18-year-olds sign NDAs every odd day of the week, you know?
Everyone's throwing up a little bit of a smokescreen, right?
everyone's throwing up a little bit of a smoke screen right i mean leo i wonder if i wonder if leo takes a sailboat to his locations look at his banner it's a rainforest
it's a rainforest actor and environmentalist and young pussy hound and by young i mean right on the line i'm talking a
tightrope walk of legality what are the odds he's logged into this twitter feed in the last five
years this is just somebody he pays to just search through salon and mother jones and pull up whatever
article represents indigenous people suffering from climate change.
Look, dude, I just said that.
And then I looked at the screen.
That is fucking hilarious.
I just looked at the screen.
And the last tweet is indigenous people safeguard 80% of our planet's biodiversity and are keepers of traditional knowledge.
Critical of preventing climate change and biodiversity levels.
Are they?
First of all, that's crazy hilarious
that I was making that joke,
and it is actually a joke,
because it's a smoke screen.
You know?
It's a smoke screen.
It's one of these things in this era
where it's like,
Leo, we know what you're doing, man.
Okay?
You dump everyone on their 25th birthday,
and you start dating them around 18, 19, 20,
and now you're pushing 50, dog.
Nice little smoke screen for Leo.
Probably a great guy, though.
You know?
He's probably a good hang.
He's kind of a good hang.
You know?
After you sign the relevant paperwork,
I don't think you can just hang with Leo.
I think Leo's, so many people have so much money invested
in Leonardo DiCaprio, and he makes so many people so much money.
There's so few bona fide, let's be honest, white,
you know, because still majority of the country's white right so you need
a leonardo dicaprio you know because it's they're talking to you know it's the same reason why
everyone likes ashkosh bagash or whatever the the indian you know what i mean it's like people like
seeing themselves reflected so he's our era's carrie grant or whatever or he's you know he's like the movie
he's like the white movie star it's like him and brett bitt and george clooney but george
clooney now is getting old right and uh so it's like leo's the guy so there's so much money
invented in leo that i think that he's just watched so closely by a whole general counsel.
There's probably a whole general counsel's,
like Hollywood, it's probably all of Hollywood,
has like just, it's called Hollywood's lawyers.
And it's just a general counsel office
that handles Leo's day-to-day.
And it's like men in black.
Anything goes wrong, people show up and people disappear.
People show up, people disappear people show up
they erase your mind and then people disappear and people got nobody asks any questions they're
not going to risk anything happening if one of these young girls ods on fentanyl while leo's in
the bedroom like the movie boogie nights you'll never hear about it. No, that's a cover. You'll never hear about it.
It's like being Derek Jeter in New York,
having a girl OD in the room and the NYPD showing up during playoff time.
The cops will take care of it.
The Yankee fans that are cops will take care of it.
Just like the suits in LA who use him as their bankable movie star
will take care of it.
You'll never, he's not coming down.
A few of these guys are just protected
and they just go, Leo, this is what you are allowed to tweet.
Only environment stuff.
It's hilarious.
His personality is just like, you know,
the same as like a crazy woman you know
somewhere somewhere in the in the hills of los angeles that's a leftover hippie
from the charles manson days you know who's just all they think about is climate
and the good of the world while he's popping bottles of champagne with models.
You know, like climate activists usually do.
He doesn't fit the prototype of a climate activist.
Climate activists usually have gray hair, dirty hair.
Yeah.
They're against deodorant
because that's bad for the planet.
They don't walk around in sleek white T-shirts
holding their cell phone sunglasses
with a 20-year-old model with natty boobs on the beach.
They don't go grab a cold brew with Jonah Hill
and talk about anxiety in Malibu.
That's not what they do.
Now they're throwing tomato soup at paintings.
They throw tomato soup at paintings. They throw tomato soup at paintings.
They don't hop on a private jet that I can only assume is fueled by banana peels.
But the party's not over for Leo yet.
He's too protective.
No, no, no.
But the party's over for Sam Fried.
Oh, yeah.
It's over.
The party's over.
The party's over for Sammy.
They came to the Bahamas.
He was like, guys, guys, guys, can we talk about this?
And they were like, listen, Sam Bankman Freed, you got to go.
What an orgy it was, though, huh?
Now it's officially ending.
to go. What an orgy it was though, huh? Now it's officially ending. Even during COVID, the orgy kind of was running on the fumes of the good times and the digital economy where people were
sitting around creating their grifts, getting their money, having their OnlyFans pages, having their Patreons, you know, creating markets to dupe people
with their pump and dumps, you know,
elevating the value of cartoon gorillas,
elevating the value of crypto,
elevating the value of their merch,
elevating the value of their talents on TV
and in the digital sphere.
And the party's coming down.
The party is over.
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There was eight influencers
who just got charged in a pump-a-dump,
one of which you followed.
Yeah, yeah, I was following those kids for a little while.
So there was eight of them.
There's eight of them that are being charged with fraud.
It's a tough word from the SEC.
When the SEC calls it fraud,
you got a big problem.
One of them was a saved by the bell guy.
SEC charges Zach Morris
and seven others in a pump and dump gang
for a...
That's a lot of money, dog.
For a $100 million stock manipulation scheme.
So, like I said,
the SEC has filed charges of fraud.
Fraud, that's a big crime.
Fraud's a big crime.
With the Southern District of Texas,
but they were all over the place.
A few of them were in Hoboken.
A few were in California.
So the media personality was Zach Morris.
You know, that was his smoke screen.
That was his smoke.
The marketing is strong with this one.
If I was Yoda, I would say the marketing is strong with this one.
You know, Zach Morris, I'm Saved by the Bell.
It's nostalgic.
You got a bunch of 30-sums and 40-sums looking for a little supplemental income
who hate their job at Sprint.
They hate their job at Enterprise Rental Cars.
They get online.
You know, they make a little money off those first few pump and dumps because
that's how they reel you in. They reel you in by making you a little money. And then they go,
hey, follow this stock, follow this stock, follow this stock. And you don't ask questions after that
because they've made you money in the past. Meanwhile, what they're doing is gaining
followers because you're going to your boy. You got to follow this guy.
You got to follow this guy.
I made this money.
This guy knows.
This guy knows.
He made me money.
Made me money.
Little do you know, he allowed you to make some money for the purposes of marketing himself
as a guru that would be followed through word of mouth and those little deals.
Probably on a few blue chips he threw in there as well,
probably threw a few blue chips in there.
A few of them probably were some, he was prescient,
probably he was prescient on a few stocks that weren't even blue chips
where he had some insider information and he made some people some money.
And then as greed takes over,
you start doing the pump and dump on what they call penny stocks
what are penny stocks?
invest in long days corporation
have you guys heard of the
Bay Ridge Boys LLC
and you create
you create the value of it
because you have the platform
now is that protected by free speech? You create the value of it because you have the platform.
Now, is that protected by free speech?
Okay, look, I'm a free speech guy.
I even would go so far as to say irresponsible speech in the context of satire is responsible speech, right?
I'll defend the comedians.
In the context of satire. Irresponsible speech is responsible speech,
but you know,
when your intentions are a fraud,
that's what you call irresponsible free speech.
Cause what they were doing was using their profile.
It gets a little better as you drink it like a Philly blunt.
Yeah.
You get used to it.
Yeah.
Oh,
that's what it is.
You get used to it.
Um,
that's shit coffee
um yeah they create the value of it by by marketing it it's their product basically
that they're selling you so they market it your belief in them based on what they might
have done to you in the past or where they might have been right in the past, is what fosters your trust for them.
And then they kick off.
So the group allegedly engaged
in a long-running fraudulent scheme
to manipulate securities
by publishing false and misleading information
on online stock trading forums.
What's false and what do you mean?
Why is it misleading and false?
Did they ever claim it wasn't?
They were probably just hyping it up
they were just hyping it up let me guess let me guess paste magazine's list of the best 2022
comedy specials is objective law handed down on tablets from yahweh mean, but because this guy is making money off it,
he's evil, but that person that writes
that complete bullshit list isn't fraudulent.
This whole era is fraudulent, and the party's over,
which is fun to watch,
because everyone's going away in handcuffs.
Everyone's going in handcuffs.
Here's Zach Morris.
Mr. Zach Morris is his handle.
He's standing in front of a Bugatti.
He's standing in front of a Bugatti.
Of course.
Because that's what makes you a man.
He's standing in front of his Bugatti,
and everyone wants to be in front of him in his Jordan 3s, I think.
And he goes, treat yourself.
He forgot the rest of that sentence, which is, with your money.
Treat myself with your money.
Just like people forget the rest of the sentence.
They forget the rest of the sentence when they go,
Andrew Tate is a masculine man,
a genius with 175 IQ,
who with his genius figured out how to start
a online cam business of prostitutes
and soft pornography.
Listen, listen,
Hugh Hefner was a pretty smart guy too
You know
Genius IQ
Maybe
But if he's a genius IQ
And he starts a porno mag
I'd say a little bit of an underachiever
You know I'd say
I don't know what your standards are
But can you imagine Albert Einstein was like
Ah fuck this I'm gonna go start a cam girl business
Could you imagine if Mark Zuckerberg was like, ah, fuck this, I'm going to go start a cam girl business.
Could you imagine if Mark Zuckerberg was like,
fuck this coding dog, I want to do stand-up comedy.
I want to become a comic.
So to promote the stock,
they used their own stock trading for Atlas Trading,
co-founded by Morris and Matlock.
Oh, isn't that a cozy coincidence?
And Sapphire Trading, founded by the other guy,
some Polish name.
Knight and Hennessy have a podcast called Pennies,
going in the raw.
Of course they got a podcast.
Whatever they could use to get their message out.
The guy who did my water at my house has a podcast.
I bet you I've been bathing in acid rain for the last whatever, you know?
I bet you he's got a million followers because who cares about the product as long as the messaging is right in this era of complete bullshit.
They utilize their Twitter accounts that have a compliant following of 2 million followers.
Let's probably say 500,000 of which are fake,
or maybe a million, or maybe 1.2 million, which are fake.
That convinced the other 800,000
that they're bigger than they are.
You know, convinced the other two following,
you know, that they're doing the right thing.
The defendants claimed on their Twitter accounts
that they were not providing stock recommendations
or financial amounts.
However, they intended for their followers
to act on their promotional tweets
and assumed that they would.
The commission got ahold of the group's
private conversations on Discord, yikes,
and characterized these as them bragging and laughing
about making profits at the expense of their followers.
Let's take a peek.
I almost just spit snot out of my nose because that is funny let's take a peek dreams to come dreams do come true motherfuckers
these guys are what you call the financial geniuses of 2022 that's right you? This is what we got now.
Dreams do come true, and he's standing in front of a bull call.
The SEC would describe his surreptitiously recorded discord call.
Knight was revealed to have acknowledged their acts constituting market manipulation.
They got, yeah, I mean, this is the end of Goodfellas.
They got their phones tapped.
This is, I quote, he goes,
the less I mention a stock, the less likely I get involved
whenever all of Atlas gets a class action fucking lawsuit.
I'm playing this extremely smart for the long term.
If you don't
think all these fuckers go to jail or at least get sued you're crazy playing stupid does not work in
court it's market manipulation i mean you look up the definition of market manipulation he said
in his private discord chat so they knew exactly what they were doing. Knight goes on to say, get caught. Here's the best part.
We're robbing fucking idiots of their money.
And then the other fucking douchebag,
fucking douchebag named Cooperman goes,
it's so funny because I can see the,
I can see like the timeline of these.
Like I get the ticker.
I send it to Dan.
I know Dan's on voice.
Dan
tells you guys, I see it go up more.
Then I see it, send it to Gary,
and I see it go up way more.
Ha ha ha ha ha, laughter. My other
thing is to like, alright, if we lose on one of
these, we've won on like 100.
That's exactly the point I made.
Right? So,
they let you make a little money.
They lose on a few, but they get a net gain on their bullshit.
We got to remember with these ultra ones, they all do the same thing.
It's like spikes come down for a second.
Night.
Then the scalpers get out.
Like Gary, get out then.
And then it goes fucking bucko.
Then it goes fucking buko.
Right? These guys are financial geniuses.es but no that's not only it like what he does is he alerts it and then like five minutes
later as little minions start like retweeting it and saying added with him uh so it like builds
the hype back up all right so the key words here are as he tweets it as it builds the hype back up. All right, so the key words here are as he tweets it,
as it builds the hype back up,
it happens every time.
They have their shit down
to a fucking science.
It's crazy.
You know.
The party ends.
And none of these criminals ever get out.
You can't get out.
You never think the curtain's gonna come down. It's an addiction. You can't get out. You never think the curtain's going to come down.
It's an addiction.
You know?
All his followers are like,
oh, yo, we can't sell today.
I don't have any day trades left.
In another example,
one of the guys claimed he actually lost money
from his position in ABVC Biopharma.
Right?
Because nobody trusts Moderna or Merck.
So you got to go with ABVC Biopharma, which stands for Adam, Barry, Vic, and Charlie's Biopharma.
Somewhere out there in Long Island, sitting in a fucking strip mall in an empty storefront.
A stock they selected to promote and then dump.
That's exactly right.
He said in a tweet that he's a bag holder of the stock and he won't dump on anyone.
But in reality, he made approximately $68,690 in two days, including the day he posted the tweet.
Deal also had a similar act with American Resources Corp.
You got to throw America into the title, right?
You know, when your boy starts a company
through another intermediary,
where you guys know, you know,
when they incorporate and open some storefront in a
strip mall in Long Island as like a official address, you got to throw the name American
in there because dopes really love American. And so he claimed he lost 20,000 on that stock
after a quote, 1.5 million shares were sold over five. He, however, actually made more than 7 grand
from dumping his shares. So it's a pump and dump.
It's your classic pump and dump.
And they were big, these kids, right? You followed one of them.
Yeah, I followed Zach. Zach Morris.
You followed Zach Morris? I followed
Slater. You followed Slater.
Yeah, it was hilarious.
And the other people who followed Screech
weren't able to continue investing because rest in peace.
RIP.
RIP, Screech.
God, Morris made more, made approximately $4.3 million
after hyping the stock of Camber Energy,
energy posting price targets and projecting long holds
and then dumping around 2 million shares at $2.61
after calling for a $10 price tag. I mean, if you're not taking stock advice from a 90s sitcom
star, I mean, who are you taking advice from? Look, this is the era where people have been
taking advice from these online accounts, you know, from the most known to these guys who
were pretty known to Jake Paul and Logan Paul,
you know,
and other influencers about crypto and how it's the future and NFTs and the
metaverse and, and, and stocks, you know,
because this was a, this is the era where institutions crumbled
and the institutions used to be no better too.
And then they got regulated, right? So they all used to do this, right? Your Merrill Lynch's,
all of them got caught because it's a greed game. So at a certain point, the government
comes in, sorry, libertarians, human nature is not pure when left in a lazy affair environment.
You know?
Man is a greedy criminal.
Mankind is a greedy criminal.
Is that his real name?
No, this is the actual Zach Morris.
Oh, that's the real guy?
Yeah, he had nothing to do with it.
Meanwhile, this guy, he should have sued, you know,
for using his likeness, right?
Yeah, the real Zack Morris is trying to get some extra work
on the new Wednesday Netflix show.
Mark Paul goes alar.
I mean, he's probably going like,
AJ Slater has become the face of entertainment tonight or whatever.
What about Zack Morris?
Everyone forgot about Zacky.
The party's over.
The party is absolutely over.
And now the SEC is coming in to regulate this actual stock market.
Last time they did that was 2005
with a new market rule proposal.
So the party's over there as well.
Interest rates are up now to the highest they've been
in 15 years, right?
And they may even go farther up.
So I guess if you're closing,
if you pick the house and you're closing now, sorry.
Not a good time to buy a house, right?
Unless you got a lot of cash.
Not a good time to get a loan.
It's not a good time to get a loan,
which is what most people need to buy a house.
So this is bad news if you're American
and great news if you're Chinese.
Because the Chinese always just show up with a full bag.
They know how to back the truck up and dump a bag of cash
onto your driveway for your house
that you swore you wanted to keep the neighborhood the way it was.
Listen, Bay Ridge has been this way since the beginning.
If I'm going to sell my house, I want to sell it to another good,
conservative Irish and Italian family.
I promise.
I want them to be Greek, Italian, Irish.
That's it.
I want to keep this neighborhood the way my grandparents found it.
Okay?
And then they put it on the market.
They get their offers.
They get their offers from
the families of
nurses or teachers and
firemen. And they go, okay.
Alright, I'd really
like to sell it to you, but
he's offering me
about
a million over that.
So what I'm going to do is I'm going to look the other way
on my conservative principles.
I'm going to pass the buck, if you will.
I'm taking this money and I'm moving out on the island.
I'm going to move on the island.
I'm moving to Long Island.
And I'm doing it secret.
Who bought your house?
I don't know, somebody.
Somebody bought it.
What are you going to do? That's how it works. That's exactly doing it secret. Who bought your house? I don't know, somebody. Somebody bought it. What are you going to do?
That's how it works.
That's exactly how it works,
and that's how that conversation goes too.
We would really like the house to go to somebody who's us,
but then you just take the offer.
We all take the offer.
Sell it in the middle of the night.
In the middle of the night.
Okay, what is the offer?
And who is it?
Okay, it's the LLC with Chinese letters on it.
And they're offering the full amount in cash.
I'll take this one.
And everyone takes it.
But then they go on Twitter and they yell.
Then they go on Twitter and they yell about their values.
Yeah.
I don't recognize this country anymore.
I don't recognize this country anymore i don't recognize this country anymore you know my my you know my grandmother's house before we sold it
that neighborhood was a lot different who'd you sell it to what huh
and they know it the chinese know we can't resist because we need it. You cannot afford to stick to your principles, you know,
in a country where you can't afford good education or healthcare.
You got to take the money.
Okay?
You got to take the money.
You know?
You can't afford.
You can't go, oh, man, I like to.
You're going, maybe one day I'm going to need these for medical bills.
So thank you very much.
Thank you very much, Pai Yin Chen LLC.
I'll take it in cash.
So the Fed has raised interest rates half a point to their highest level in 15 years.
So the party is over.
The lights are on.
Now, this is good for people who got cash in their account,
and it's good for people who already own homes, right?
Because now you can rent them out.
You can rent them out.
You can be a bloodsucker of the community.
Havana.
I'm singing this for me because I'm a property owner.
You know, Hey, this is why you buy real estate. This is why they buy real estate.
You know, it's smart because guess what doesn't go up too high. It doesn't go down too high.
And guess what always has value because people people can't live outside, all right?
Unless you're in Florida.
Those people are aggressively calling street, they're street people.
In Florida, they're not homeless because they don't want to be inside.
You can't go, hey, man, I got you a home.
They're going, I'm not interested.
I live outside.
Unless you're in Florida or
California, those people are not homeless. They're street people. Okay. If you live here in New York
and you're on the street, you're homeless because a home sounds really good when it's 32 degrees,
but a home sounds kind of meh when it's 74 with no humidity on Venice beach.
So it's smart to invest in real estate. It's just, you know, like you said,
the challenge is having that initial capital. Yeah.
What's the stock market you can get in. You can buy cheap certain things.
Yeah. You can work your way up. But it was funny.
We were talking earlier about what SBF did, right. With all his money,
the blank from free kid, what did he buy?
He bought real estate and he invested into political campaigns.
Yeah.
Right?
With all the money he stole, that's what he did with it.
That's funny because he was running an exchange for crypto, right?
And what did he do with the money?
And what did he do?
He goes, I'm going to make a safe investment with your money.
I'm going to take your stupid money and I'm going to invest it smart.
You know?
It's like, does anyone ever think that there's a possibility
that any group that's overrepresented in an area
just might be good at it?
Right?
Is that a possibility?
Are Ethiopians represented in long distance running
because of some scheme or are they good at it?
Maybe Jewish people are just smart
and they go, hey man, this is a safe investment.
I'm going to buy,
I'm going to buy some buildings.
I'm going to buy a house because guess what?
You know,
I dated this girl whose father made her,
uh,
his millions in,
in real estate.
Right.
Um,
you know,
I'm talking about,
I remember he told me that he was like,
I,
I made that decision for the reason
that you can always make money.
You never lose your shirt.
You can't get those big spikes quick
that you get in the market.
I'm sure he had some of his portfolio in the market.
You got to be diversified.
If you're an investor, you got to be diversified.
So I'm sure he had some of his money.
You got to go to the casino.
If you got a little money, you got to go to the casino.
Or else what's the point to life?
Stocks are exciting.
You open the paper every day.
Your dick gets hard.
You see Pfizer's up a little bit.
Your dick, you go, hold, hold a little more.
Hold a little more.
Your dick gets hard.
You got to do things to get your dick hard.
But then you also have to do those practical things
that make sure there's a roof over your head.
And he said, the reason why I started, and he owned like some, some A-list stuff in like, you know, rich neighborhoods.
And then he owned a couple of section eight houses where you make a deal with the government. The
government gives him part of the money as a private owner. And then the poor people give
him the rest of that money and he makes his rents. So he's diverse. He was diversified even in the
property he owned. He had some poor, he had some rent. so he's the first he was diversified even in the property he owned he had some boy he had some rent and his point was like you never lose your shirt you may
not make a gazillion but it's a nice foundation smart and when the fucking bottom falls out and
the party's over and the cops show up with the flashlights and say all right and they start
knocking heads and sam freed fucking in his in Afro got to go to prison.
And Zach Morris has to put the cuffs on.
You know?
If you own your house, it's a good thing.
And you had all these grifters online.
I saw so many of them going like, I don't own anything.
Elon Musk doesn't own a house.
Yeah, Elon Musk can afford to not own a house.
When you're the richest man on the planet,
you could crash on a friend's couch if you want. know because he like notoriously doesn't own property and i've seen all these grifters there's so many accounts who do who pitch that you know because like when
you talk for a living you have to say something why do you think i take both sides all the time
because i have to fill this time and be entertaining. I don't know what I'm talking about either way.
I'm just filling time. But you know, everyone will find any loophole and then support it and market it. And one of the things that I caught a few grifters doing is being like,
stupid, buying property, stupid, stupid, stupid. And then there's people out there going,
okay, boss, and they don't buy. And when the when the party's over you're like gosh baby
should have bought it's a solid investment yeah like we were saying though the price to entry
just ask sam freed he didn't take all that crypto money and reinvested it the crypto
he didn't rush over to uh to charles schw and say, throw me into the market, baby.
Let's fucking roll some dice.
He was like, let's buy some brick and mortar.
The political campaigns were interesting, too,
because what are you doing there?
You're buying influence.
Buying influence, yeah.
Buying influence, which is another important thing,
because that's what you call the good old smoke screen.
Because that's what you call the good old smoke screen.
Evil, conniving people always know that they got to pay for a smoke screen.
You got to pay for a smoke screen.
Spread it around.
Yeah.
And you need a smoke screen.
You need an image.
You need an image.
You know?
You know the most evil people always dress in a suit.
You remember John Gotti would come in.
John Gotti would murder people with his hands in the most gruesome way.
You know, he was a cold-blooded psychopath. But he'd show up in a Brooks Brothers tight, looking like a goddamn corporate lawyer.
I think he got a haircut every single day.
Every day.
You can't walk around like the animal you are.
The most evil people always pretend to be the opposite of what they are, you know?
Jeffrey Dahmer, well, shucks.
I'm just Forrest
Gump you know why are you picking all these uh you know blacks and Hispanics and Filipinos
ah you know they just happen to be around and no I didn't give any thought to that you know
you you telling me Jeffrey Dahmer didn't know for one second that if he took a blonde girl,
took a blonde white girl with pearl earrings named Stacy,
the gig wouldn't have been up a long time ago.
He would have been able to get away with one murder.
They would have sent every fucking cadaver sniffing dog into the entire city of Milwaukee.
There'd be no dogs at any airport.
You'd be able to bring any bomb anywhere because every fucking narcotic
cadaver or bomb sniffing dog would be in Milwaukee searching for that white
lady.
You'd have to,
you just naive if you don't believe that he thought about that at all.
He did think about it.
I mean,
you know.
And white women are delicious.
White women are delicious, and white women are valuable.
They're valuable.
Remember that Patrice O'Neill?
Yeah.
Patrice O'Neill bit about the serial killer in the Cayman Islands?
Natalie Holloway.
Yeah.
That's the only name of the girl
he killed a bunch of girls
and the only name anyone can remember
is Natalie Holloway
because she was a blonde American white girl
and there was a couple other
as Patrice O'Neil the great Patrice O'Neil
some big headed third world bitch
oh god
nobody knows her name
nobody knows her name I Nobody knows her name.
I mean, dog, he was able to, you know, the cops showed up,
the Filipino kid who was underage.
I mean, have you ever seen a 14-year-old kid who did not look 14?
What was it, fucking LeBron James?
What was it, Zion Williamson, who he drilled the hole into the head of?
It was a little kid.
The cops were right there. So the kid's 14, he's in his underwear
with a bleeding asshole and a hole in his head.
And because the cops did not care,
they didn't even look.
If that was a white boy with blonde hair,
I mean, dog, the FBI would have been there in three seconds.
Who's this?
You see this kid?
He's been floating around the internet.
This kid's 12.
Yeah, I mean, there's like three people like this.
I mean, that does not look like a 12-year-old.
That's what I said.
I mean, like, who did Jeffrey Dahmer have there?
Was it Zion Williamson?
Do you remember seeing Zion Williamson at 14?
He looked like my grandfather.
He had a 14
year old Filipino even when Filipinos are 76 they still look 12 I mean look at fucking Bobby Lee
he's 50 and he looks like he's my son they're smooth like dolphins yeah so it's a smoke screen
you got to have a good smoke screen and people love bullshit they buy the bullshit they buy it and
they they buy into the smoke screen you know ted bundy with the broken arm you know i got a bro you
know it's a bad wing can you can you help me what would he do can you help me start my car or
whatever and some like toy you're going hey why are you asking a girl to help you with your car
if your car was broken
would you ever see some random beautiful young girl and be like hey would you help me with this
car you know you know they don't know how to do mechanics they got small hands and they don't
know how to do that stuff you'd expect him to be you know asking that of some burly dude walking by
smoke screens the smoke screens are coming down the air is clearing well you know as soon as the asking that of some burly dude walking by.
Smokescreens.
The smokescreens are coming down.
The air is clearing.
Well, you know, as soon as the market crashes,
then everyone's, you know,
that's how these things get exposed.
Same thing with Madoff, right?
So, yeah, explain that, because that's good.
So it's like, while the orgy's going on... Right, when did Madoff get caught?
He got caught in 2008.
Yeah.
During the collapse.
So what you're saying is
when the tide comes in yeah before the tsunami the tide comes in and it pulls back all the water
and these crooks are standing there going oh shit
we were hiding underwater like good little fishes
exactly so the the yeah the tide's coming back and that's when they get exposed right that's when madoff got his yeah because people are like
yo i need some money i need my money and then he's like well the thing is the thing is i spent
your money i i didn't i i was i wasn't planning on you ever asking for it all at once and when
things are good right you know and when money's flushed.
Then people keep giving him money to make more money.
Right.
And he's just going, eh, eh.
He's got his little bag of this.
Very funny.
You know?
Very funny.
Everyone's got their smoke screen up, you know?
It's their PR face.
But everyone's getting de-masked right screen up you know it's their PR face but everyone's getting demasked right now you know
except for Adam Sandler
kids
the kid is quietly Republican
do you think
at some point
Adam Sandler will write a book
on how to be Republican in Hollywood.
Sandler has not publicly talked about his political positions.
It has been publicly reported that he has been registered to vote as a Republican.
How is he still in Hollywood?
He also performed at the 2004 Republican National Convention, which I think is a hate crime in Los Angeles.
And he has contributed $2,100,
which I think you can only contribute a certain amount, right,
to Rudy Giuliani's campaign.
What was that, in 2008 for president?
It was the maximum.
I was right.
So the maximum is $2,100 you can donate.
You remember when Clint Eastwood came out as a Republican?
Yeah, I mean, that's the new coming out of the closet in LA.
That's right.
Somebody goes, hey, I'm gay.
They're going like, we hoped you were.
That's why we hired you.
And then they go like this.
I'm also Republican.
And they go, wait a second.
Whoa, whoa.
Whoa, whoa.
We don't take any of you polyqueers.
We're not into polyqueers.
Get that queerness out of here.
Caitlyn Jenner.
Caitlyn Jenner is my favorite Republican
because she was woman of the year.
Her smokescreen was she was trans.
Once she turned trans, dog, they forgave and forgot that she's against gay marriage.
Caitlyn Jenner is against gay marriage.
Hey, things get complicated.
Things get a little complicated.
I mean, how funny is that?
If you have the right smokecreen for the right demographic,
the smokescreen works.
If you're talking to stupid kids who are trying to get rich and get,
I'll be going.
Your smokescreen is like Zach Morris, fun,
you use terminology,
you probably throw up memes of Matthew McConaughey doing this.
Your smokescreen is that you lost a little bit on one stock
and you post that and you go, hey, you can't win them all.
Meanwhile, you're kicking off on that stock, right?
Now, if your smokescreen is you're a psycho Republican
who hates herself and is against gay marriage,
wants to oppress people who are in love who want to be married,
all you got to do is go trance.
Dog, do you think I could go and live fully as Marisa
and then walk around the streets of New York City at night
the way Nero did in a mask and murder homeless people
and I could maybe win comedian of the year?
I think there's a possibility.
You might get a Netflix.
I might. I think there's a possibility. You might get a Netflix package. I might.
Dude, I think more than that.
I think I might get Comedian of the Year from Paste Magazine.
I mean, it's hilarious.
It's really hilarious.
So, Elon Musk suspended the kids Twitter
that's funny right
because Elon Musk
he's a guy who tells it like it is
he doesn't lie
he's not a hypocrite
can you pull up his tweet
so people don't think I'm lying
his tweet about the guy with the plane
and free speech how how he said,
I am willing to not to allow this guy
to continue to tweet because I,
that's how devoted I am to free speech.
You may not be able to find it quickly.
Nobody ever accused you of being a professional Googler.
He offered him money.
Yeah, back then.
But then when he was buying Twitter, he said...
5K.
I mean, dude, you offer him 5K?
That's a low ball.
From Elon?
Yeah.
Yeah.
But he did tweet.
He had a specific tweet where he said,
I'm so dedicated to free speech that I'll even allow this guy to do that.
And that's what you call...
That was a lie.
That's not true.
that's what you call, that was a lie.
That's not true.
Here's the good thing, though, about liars.
Am I wrong, Jess, when you think about it?
The good thing about liars is,
I think it was Goebbels who said it best.
What is it?
Or Mark Twain, a lie makes its way around the world before the truth can put his pants on.
Yeah, I think that's a Twain quote.
Mark Twain.
Yeah, it's a big difference between Twain and Goebbels.
Goebbels definitely used it.
Yeah, who knows?
Yeah, Goebbels definitely used that as the propaganda minister.
But the thing is when you throw the lie out there, right, it's out there.
So it's like there's something in our brain that just goes with the first impression
so when the truth comes out later nobody cares yeah because it's already well a lot of people
are just looking for confirmation bias anyway they're like i told you i knew it i knew it you
know right here's something that just reaffirms my beliefs right because they were busy exaggerating
their position and uh that's the wheel that moves forward in that perpetual fucking,
that perpetual game.
Well, there's money in them in their hills, right?
Like if you're Zach Morris, you can make money.
Because what's the scam is, you know, the oldest scam in the world.
People want to get rich quick.
So what do you do?
You know, you dangle the carrot.
Here's how you get rich quick.
Yeah. Yeah, so you can't really blame zach morris i mean if you're taking stock advice from zach morris i mean come on guy but then if yeah but then if you're the scc
you can't let it happen either oh yeah i mean i guess there there is that time where you have to
protect the public i think you let people have their orgy and then you clean it up that's what's
going on right now you gotta let people party yeah you know and then you clean it up i mean everyone thought when you get
into the stock market you fall for a pump and dump at least once right this it's not like it's not
anything that the big banks do right yeah i mean i fell for one i remember sponge tech that was an
old one that was it was this they ran it during the yankee game it was an elaborate scam yeah
and i was like oh look they got it like it was during the Yankee game. It was an elaborate scam. Yeah.
And I was like, oh, look, they got it.
Like, it was on the Yankee, they were running commercials during the Yankee game. That's how they get you.
That's how they got you.
They get Tom Brady in the commercial.
Yeah, exactly.
They put it on the Yankee game.
You get Zach Morris with 2 million followers, 16, 1.6 million of which are fake.
Right.
To tweet it.
And then you go, this guy's legitimate.
He's got a blue checkmark next to his name.
He's got to know what he's talking about.
That's how they get you.
Exactly.
That's how they get you.
They put LeBron James in the Sprite commercial.
That's how they get you.
It's all bullshit.
The whole thing is built on bullshit.
Yes.
LeBron James don't spring Sprite.
You see him last night?
His 20th year in the league.
He was dunking like he's fucking 19.
You think he gets on the bench and downs fucking carbonated sugar water?
It's hilarious.
In good news, though, scientists have finally found the clitoris of the snake.
It's important work.
And male snakes are going, like I told you, it's not that easy.
So I guess it is possible to make a snake come.
And here I am thinking that they didn't have any feelings, you know?
What are they doing down there in Australia?
In Australia, scientists find clitoris on female snakes.
Today at noon, welcome.
Today, scientists made a real discovery
when they uncovered a clitoris on a snake.
We'll be back at you later uh at noon a dingo ate somebody's baby but before that snags do have clitorises
research published wednesday it's good that these guys are busy now
During the pandemic, whatever
Climate change, pandemic
They can't tell us what a boy or girl is
But they can definitely tell us where a clitoris is on a snake
Research published Wednesday
Provides the first proper
Anatomical description of female snake genitalia
So for those of you who are interested In fucking your snake proper anatomical description of female snake genitalia.
So for those of you who are interested in fucking your snake,
this is the time you should tune in.
That's right.
If you tuned out at the 20-minute mark,
I can't help you, dog.
The good stuff's always in the middle.
Oh, my God.
Are they trying to tie this to feminism?
The female sex organ had been overlooked uh here we go uh i mean in in their defense i guess you know you would think something as cold-blooded
as a snake maybe can't come so i don't know if i would definitely blame the patriarchy on this one
i'm sure there's a lot of female scientists who were caught by surprise by this fact as well.
I don't think there was too many female scientists going like, you know,
trying to liberate the sexual freedom of the snake by discovering the clitoris and how to stimulate it.
It wasn't necessarily that it was elusive.
Scientists weren't really looking for it.
Yeah, here we go.
That train is never late.
There was a combination of female genitalia
being taboo. Oh, Jesus Christ. On a snake. And then they quietly admit, here's the thing,
the marketing up top. There was a combination of female genitalia being taboo. On a snake,
has anyone really been taboo about female genitalia on a snake was there really a religious patriarchy
in in power saying ignore the clitoris and sexual needs of a snake what an era dog what an era
what an era this is the bbc by the way this is the bbc
and this is a doctoral candidate named megan falwell
jesus christ you gotta have a hook you gotta have a hook i guess she's gonna start her podcast
on how the patriarchy intentionally overlooked the sexual pleasures of female snakes but then she
sneaks in the truth right after that there was a combination of female genitalia being taboo and
then she goes and then she coughs in this park scientists not being able to find it and people
accepting the mislabeling of intersex snakes um her co-authored paper published in the Proceedings of the Royal Society,
locates the clitoris in the female snake's tail.
I don't know if I buy this.
I'll be honest, I'm no scientist, but I don't know if I buy this.
How do they know?
How do they know?
Like, did they see the snake going, ugh?
Does the snake have an O face? Yeah, yeah. Does the snake go like this, like a girl in a porn? Like, did they see the snake going, does the snake have an O face?
Yeah, yeah.
Does the snake go like this, like a girl in a porn?
Like, yes, daddy, yes.
Yes, daddy.
Is the snake going like, yeah, yeah.
Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God, hold it.
Are there any Asian snakes going?
Hey, I'm just being honest.
You look at the porn do they do emote differently
americans are more like yes daddy
and then japanese
they didn't have them it just didn't sit right with her thinking that they didn't have them this girl
was fighting for the sexual liberation this is this this is the 60s for snakes
i knew it the clitoris is in a lot of animals and it doesn't make sense that it wouldn't be
in all snakes i just had to take a look that's all you? To see if this structure was there or if it had just been missed.
It's a structure the shape of a heart near the snake's scent glands,
which are used in attracting mating partners.
There was this double structure that was quite prominent in the female
that was quite different to that of the surrounding tissue.
And there was no implication of the penis structures i've seen before her team
then checked them in a variety of snakes dissecting a total of nine species including the carpet
python puff adder and the cantal viper um they varied in size but they were distinct like is that
a clit or is that what you call uh a morph uh uh a. What is that? Uh, humorphatizing.
Who?
Amorphatize.
Uh, when you, uh, when you humanize something.
Oh, anamorphicizing?
Anamorphic, no, anamorphic is in the right word.
Uh, humanizing.
Humor, humor, humor, what?
Uh, God, we need the word.
Anthropomorphizing.
Anthropomorphizing. Anthropomorphizing.
Or is that her anthropomorphizing?
Because she went in there searching for it, you know?
Because she wanted to make her breakthrough
and be noticed as the woman who found the clitoris.
Because, like, how do you prove that that is exactly clitoris?
You know what I mean?
Like, you can prove that's a clitoris by a woman
by tickling it
and watching them react. Have you ever, does a snake smile? Snake can't even smile. It's a cold
blooded reptile. She's rewriting snake sex. All right. So these are two big discoveries that happen at the same time. One, very coincidentally politically correct in snakes.
And the other one, by some eggheads about fusion that I don't understand.
They're able to do something with fusion that they say could save the planet or whatever.
Do you understand that it's a nuclear fusion breakthrough?
Is there some
egghead that can explain it in the comments with your big ass brain that's been completely
overlooked has anyone been more overlooked in this error than actual smart people because of
all of us stupid people tweeting our fucking opinions scientists achieve a breakthrough in nuclear fusion. Because a real nuclear fusion scientist
isn't busy trying to market himself.
He's doing research.
This era, all the real people who do the real work
are completely overlooked because Giannis Pappas has an opinion.
So for more than 60 years,
scientists have pursued one of the toughest physics challenges ever conceived,
harnessing nuclear fusion, the power source of the stars,
to generate abundant clean energy here on Earth.
Today, researchers announced a milestone in this effort.
For the first time, a fusion reactor has produced more energy
than was used to trigger the reaction.
Oh, I get it.
See, that part I can understand.
So probably it means that, you know, the cost of doing business,
let me explain it to the people on our level.
Back in the day, they were trying to do this
because they knew the power source of the stars,
and they're going, yo, that would be nice if we could harness that power
to make power here so we don and they're going, yo, that would be nice if we could harness that power to make power here
so we don't got to depend on these,
on fossil fuels,
which have these carbon emissions
that mess up the atmosphere,
you know?
Whoa, whoa, dumb it down a little bit.
Yeah, mess up the atmosphere.
Yeah.
So it would be nice,
it would be nice
if we could do something
that was sustainable and recyclable
if you believe that sort of type of thing.
If you believe in that fairy tale, something that was sustainable like recyclable, if you believe that sort of type of thing. If you believe in that fairy tale.
Something that was sustainable, like the stars.
Because, yo, whatever's powering the stars
has got to be fucking strong, like Hercules.
So they've been trying,
but they had to use more energy to try to make it happen
than they actually got out of it.
It was costing more.
They were losing fucking money.
Alright? They were losing
fucking money on the deal.
So finally
they made a little fucking profit, a little scratch
for themselves. Finally
they got out more than they put in.
It's like when you marry a fucking broad
and she won't blow you.
You're going fucking, you know, this costs me more than I'm getting.
Right?
As opposed to when you're just dating a girl and she's blowing you every fucking day.
You're getting a lot.
So this fucking energy is blowing us every day.
Capisce?
Capisce.
I mean, that was actually explained in a way that I can understand.
Yeah, I got it.
Yeah, now I got it.
This thing blows us.
Yeah.
All the time. Yeah. And we don't got to marry it. Yeah, now I got it. This thing blows us all the time.
Yeah.
And we don't got to marry it.
Yeah.
And it's not fucking breaking our balls.
It's not asking me where I am.
It's not asking me where I am at all times.
I get it.
I fucking got it.
And I'm also going to buy Adam Sandler's book in 10 years
called How to Be a Republican in Hollywood
by just being quiet.
So they changed the MVP trophy in the NBA
to the Michael Jordan trophy.
Now, what's fun for me about that is like,
it's a statue, right?
Obviously deserved, as he's considered by most
who know what they're talking about,
to be the GOAT.
It's almost unanimous.
There's some LeBron lovers or whatever,
but for the most part, everyone thinks Jordan is the GOAT.
No, LeBron's going to hold the record for scoring.
You think that adds to it?
Maybe, but not really.
I mean, there's so many arguments for Jordan,
being that he was maybe the best on-ball defender of all time as well,
defensive player of the year.
In the same year, he won a scoring title, went to six, won six, never lost,
never had a player on his team who averaged more than 17 points a game.
It's hard to argue.
Let's say he doesn't go play baseball because his smokescreen
was that he just
had a dream that him and his dad wanted to fulfill
and we all know it was gambling debts and they told him to take
some time off.
Allegedly. Allegedly
is something a guy who wasn't married would say.
If he hadn't have done that, we all know he would have
won eight.
If that little fucking troll who
was the gm over at chicago who was upset that he wasn't getting the credit didn't dismember
dismantle that team he would have got another one there they definitely had another one in them
there he would have had nine he would have had two short of correct me if i'm wrong um bill russell
he has 11 russell yeah so he would have two less than Bill Russell. And Bill Russell had it 11 during an era
where it was him and Will Chamberlain
and a bunch of guys going,
pass the ball, bounce pass, see?
You throw it over here, two hands, bounce pass.
And then we go.
You see, look at Artie run.
There goes Artie.
Artie Greenberg going in for the pass.
Passes it to Josiah.
Josiah passes it to Joshua.
Joshua over to Toby. Toby Josiah passes it to Joshua. Joshua. Over to Toby.
Toby for the three-pointer.
You know how many Jordan would have had in that era?
117.
117.
He would have won multiple championships in the same year.
On different teams.
Playing against himself.
So he got six undisputed.
Would have had eight
if he didn't disappear
for those two years.
Probably nine if he stayed together
on the Bulls again.
But, you know,
it's just, it's hard to argue
on both sides of the ball.
Here's the fun part for me.
So they renamed the MVP trophy
the Michael Jordan Pro.
You know, if wokeness continues,
right, which it will, it'll get smaller like everything does. You know, if wokeness continues, right, which it will,
it'll get smaller like everything does, you know.
It'll get smaller, but there'll be a dedicated coterie of maniacs
still dedicated to the activism of wokeness,
and they look into his life a little bit
and how he said Republicans buy sneakers too
and how he's a fucking tyrant.
He's not a good hang.
You wouldn't call Michael Jordan a sweet hang.
I think he'd be good.
Pretty difficult hang.
I think there was that one rapper who wanted an autograph and he said like,
don't look at me.
Don't touch me.
Like something like that.
Yeah.
He's not a good hang.
No.
Yeah.
He's like,
if Jerry Seinfeld was an athlete,
don't look at me in the eyes. Unless you want to put a little cheese on a good hang. No. Yeah, he's like if Jerry Seinfeld was an athlete.
Don't look at me in the eyes.
Unless you want to put a little cheese on a golf match.
Unless you want to bet on a little game of dice against the wall after practice.
I just think it'll be funny that they'll be trying to tear down,
because it's a statue,
and there's just some people who like to take down statues.
So they'll be throwing soup cans at
the mvp like you know one day one of the ball brothers will like hold it up and some like little
kid some little fucking whoa kid with purple hair will just run just throw a campbell soup can at it
try to and try to and they'll try to give the they'll try to rename and try to,
and they'll try to give the,
they'll try to rename it the Brittany Griner award.
Talk about a woman.
Talk about a woman.
Hey,
listen,
we gave,
we gave up a Russian shooter,
but we got a big man.
I'm not sure if we needed a big man.
Talk about a woman who's enjoying
her fucking two for 20 meal at Applebee's
like she never has before.
And why am I saying she's at Applebee's?
Because she still is a WNBA player
and does need to take advantage of that deal.
Can you imagine what it feels like
to be Brittany Griner this month at Christmas?
Going in with her lesbo wife.
Going in for a two for 20 at Applebee's and ordering a steak.
Or probably, they probably do get two two for 20s because the girl needs two meals.
She's a big girl.
You know how enjoyable?
She's probably walking into that red lobster like don king with two
american flags like this go to america land of opportunity talk about a smoke screen for that
don king murdered a man but if you wrap yourself in an american flag and wave flags
it's a nice little smoke screen for the fact that you rob every boxer who you employ and you also murdered a man first degree murder
somehow he was able to get away with that he had a tagline only in america only in america baby
only america can you get away with murder and then become a multi-millionaire by robbing mike tyson
britney granner uh is reportedly upbeat thankful and hopeful. Nah, dude. She is.
Her and her lesbo wife have been locked in a 69 since she walked off that tarmac.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
It's a scissor tarmac.
Yeah.
And you know what's playing in the background?
It ain't Keith Sweat.
It's the Star Spangled Banner.
Okay, I want to give a small business shout out right now to Brooklyn Cannery.
BrooklynCannery.com, perfect for the holidays.
Get yourself some of these healthy sodas, no added sugar, natural sweeteners, also prebiotic, and they're delicious.
15% off with the promo code JanusPapas.
I love BrooklynCannery.com.
Also want to give a shout-out to Longshore Coffee, my favorite coffee company.
Stephen Miller out there in Rhode Island.
Go to longshorecoffee.com.
Get 15% off.
What's the promo code there for him?
I don't know if he has one.
He does have one.
Scroll up.
Yeah, fumes.
Fumes, longshorecoffee.com for your delicious coffee.
Longshore Coffee delivered right to your doorstep.
We also want to give a shout out to Nate Linder.
Long Days is rebranding to the Giannis Papasour.
But what are you doing to keep your company's brand fresh
and up to date in 2023?
I just like to read his shit.
There are a lot of bullshit marketing agencies out there,
but Nate Linder only sells marketing plans
that are set up for success
because he's focused on building decades,
blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
natelinder.com
for my listeners.
Go check it out.
Get a free consult.
It'll help you get your social media game up
and help you out.
Chris Minetti, happy holidays.
Okay, come in there in a Santa suit.
215-750-3730 if you want to get your check cash
in the Philly, South Jersey area.
Grab yourself a Wawa hoagie,
head over to Chris Minetti's store.
No website, call him on the phone.
Aaron Lee for the free.
Check that site out for bands in Hawaii, shows, all that stuff.
Music in Hawaii, dog.
It's a very cool site.
I enjoy perusing it and listening to some of that underground music from Hawaii.
Manly Girl Studios.
Okay?
They're the new your mama's house.
They're coming for you.
They're coming for you, Segura.
They got four hilarious podcasts that are guaranteed to make you laugh,
think, and even learn a little bit.
Learn a thing or two.
Their shows are Gringo on the Rough, A Side of Fries,
Casa de Thinking, and The Manly Girly Show.
I guess that's their flagship.
Whether you're into unscripted comedy or thought-provoking discussions,
these guys got you covered.
Go to manlygirly.com and check them out.
Hosts Art, Andy, and their interesting friends.
Exclusiveautoshipping.com.
My boy Jared.
You know, if you're moving, if you buy a car out of state,
get a free quote from them.
They'll ship your car for you.
Exclusiveautoshipping.com.
It's been a long day.