Yannis Pappas Hour - Professional Lying
Episode Date: August 27, 2022It’s everyone’s favorite fake news show and this one is a goodie. Governor Desantis makes a commercial for himself because he’s the “Top Gov” (get it?) and we are the United States of Advert...ising and everyone is a walking brand making commercials for themselves. We’ve coated reality with filters and soundtracks and we’re all for sale. Whether it’s Donald Trump or the Top Gov, we are all communicating in commercials. Like LA, America is now a smoothie of stool & we’re living in a commercial for it. Long day, incoming!Sponsors Manscaped https://www.manscaped.comPromo: fumesWeekly Bonus episode: https://www.patreon.com/yannilongdays?utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator#comedy #podcast #news #satire Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Guys, welcome to Long Days. Before we get started, I want to tell you about my live dates right now
where you can come see some live stand-up comedy. See your boy Yanni September 9th and 10th at
Uncle Vinny's in Point Pleasant, New Jersey. One of the nights is sold out. There's still
tickets for the other one. See you down there at the Jersey Shore. Then we'll be in Pottstown,
PA at Soul Joel's Comedy Dome September 24th. So get your tickets. We'll also be at Grand Rapids Comedy Club at Creston Brewery in Grand Rapids, Michigan.
That'll be October 13th through the 15th.
Then November 11th and 12th, I will be at the Vulcan Gas Company in Austin, Texas, November
11th and 12th.
Get all your tickets at yannispappascomedy.com.
Also, Patreon, patreon.com slash yannilongdays.
Go enjoy those bonus episodes every week.
$5, you get the audio, you get the video.
Those episodes are some of our funniest.
And just become a member of the Fediverse.
If you're a Fedophile, then the Fediverse is for you.
See you over there at Patreon.
pedophile, then the Fediverse is for you. See you over there at Patreon.
Welcome to Long Days with Giannis Pappas, the only true source of information that is out there in the universe, not just the globe. I can make that claim because there's nobody around to
dispute it. If they do come, oh, then whatever.
I'll still argue it, because why not?
My perspective is truth.
Welcome to 2022, where my interest is what it is.
This is an undeniable truth.
This is an objective fact, as objective as it gets. Paul Pelosi's got to spend five days in prison.
That's funny.
Guy's in his 70s, he got a dewey, and he's got to spend five days in prison. That's funny. Guy's in his 70s. He got a dewey and he's
got to spend five days in prison
walking into the bullpen.
Please turn the cameras on. I want to
see how much
they charge him for a cigarette.
Imagine you're Paul Pelosi. You got to get your
laces taken before you go in.
That's fun. You go from a
multi-millionaire power couple
to just going,
let me just take my Crocs for these five days
because they're going to take my laces anyway.
The kid wore his shower shoes into prison without a doubt,
and they're probably Gucci.
Andrew Tate.
Has there been a bigger rise and a bigger fall than Andrew Tate?
What's next for Andrew Tate. Has there been a bigger rise and a bigger fall than Andrew Tate? What's next for Andrew Tate?
Well, you can find him on Truth Social running for vice president in 2024.
Because he joins the prestigious group of being banned across all platforms.
It's Donald Trump and Andrew Tate.
And they're kind of the same personality.
So if you need a running mate, my friend, it and Andrew Tate And they're kind of the same personality So if you need a running mate my friend It's Andrew Tate
And I'm talking to you big ol' orange guy
TikTok how much do they know about you?
How much are they tracking you?
You guessed it
It's a lot
It's a lot
Like Rick Glassman
It's a lot
Ben and Jerry's lot. Like Rick Glassman, it's a lot.
Ben and Jerry's has lost their suit and they still
got to provide ice cream to kids
in Israel. Boo fucking hoo.
I guess the conflict will go on.
Sorry, you goddamn
Vermont berry pickers.
Seems like your ice cream is still going to
be part of the conflict.
You can't do anything about it.
Kansas.
Bleeding Kansas.
And what I mean by bleeding Kansas is women who get their periods
are going to be able to cancel
when they don't get them.
So on the months that you don't bleed,
guess what?
You got the option to continue to bleed.
Wow. Referendum goes to the people You got the option to continue to bleed. Wow.
Referendum goes to the people.
That's what they decided to do.
True.
Truest form of democracy, right?
Votes to the people.
And the people in a referendum said,
we want to keep our right to choose.
Well, Kansas, I'm talking to you from New York State,
New York City.
You're now our sister city.
Wow.
Kansas.
Who would have thought that?
LA drought restrictions.
Guess who broke their drought restrictions?
Kim Kardashian, Kevin Hart, and here's a weird one, Sly Stallone.
Sly Stallone.
They all were found to have broken the drought restrictions of Los Angeles.
What is a drought restriction?
It means, hey, you can only shower this amount because water is in low demand, basically.
LA is a weird place.
It's the most ostentatious, opulent place,
but it's also the most precarious.
It's like the third world and the first world at the same time.
You got an underclass of, like, Mexican workers,
and then you got, like, multi-millionaires who are oblivious,
living in Beverly Hills.
You got no water.
You're built on a fault line.
There's wildfires happening every place.
It is an all-in-one.
It's a smoothie of shit.
Twitter.
There's a whistleblower at Twitter that says there's
some security concerns.
The former security chief
or whoever he was at Twitter has come out and said
there's some serious, serious, serious
security
proclivities.
And Tesla's owner, Elon Musk, texted him with a thumbs up.
We got a lot to talk about this week, including the migrant dump.
The migrant dump that Texas is now performing on New York and Washington, D.C.
They get migrants who come across the border who are not legal or naturalized get to continue their travels across state lines on a bus to New York and D.C.
And so the Mexican population of Washington, D.C.
is plus a couple thousand right now.
So we will talk about that.
It's a gift.
They're just getting a gift.
They're not even asking for anything in return.
So unlike Brittany Griner,
who's getting dealt possibly for an arms dealer, we're just getting 7,000 Mexicans right now. I
mean, you don't really feel it until you go to Home Depot and there's a few spots that aren't
available because there's people standing there online. And that's the only time you really feel
it. I mean, that Home Depot parking lot right now looks like my lawn on a Wednesday.
And my lawn on a Wednesday, which is definitely my landscaping day,
definitely looks like Santa someplace in Mexico.
Rio Grande.
It looks like the Rio Grande.
My lawn on Wednesday looks like the Rio Grande on the Texas border.
This is Long Days, and let's just hop on in like a little bunny
and get to what the dull is. I want to start fun today.
I want to start fun.
We'll get to some of those stories that we mentioned in our cold open for this show,
for this broken down modern 2022 show
in 2022 it's either one minute real you have a minute to get people's attention you're watching
a minute show or you're listening to a four-hour show it's extremes like everything else, like everything else from A to Z, every facet of
society of the human condition in the tech era. It's either this or that. There's everything in
between from two to nine is gone. It's one or 10. You're either at one at a snail's pace like a turtle
or you are like a whippet dog
just fucking sprinting around a dog park going,
put me on a track.
This is too slow for me.
There's no middle ground.
That's all we're doing right now.
We're doing four hour,
Joe Rogan sitting down with one of the most boring,
boring professors you could, he goes and he finds like some professor who has a specialty in in
stars for four hours and by stars i don't mean the things in la i'm talking about the things in the
sky he's like let's talk to this astronomer for four hours or you're watching Andrew Tate talk about how he's the top G for 46 seconds. And that's it.
That's it. There's no in between. And in this era, in this era, you got to go either a zero,
you got to go a hundred. Okay. You got to go a hundred miles an hour. If you're a politician,
you got to go a hundred. That means your looks have to be fucking top notch or you,
or your personality's got to be way out there, way out there to get attention.
You got to do way out there stuff.
You got to go to the Met Gala.
You got to have a dress that says tax the rich.
I mean, you know, it's a carnival.
It's an absolute circus that we're living in. I mean, a congresswoman. A congresswoman showing up to the Met Gala
in a tax-the-rich dress.
A governor in Florida making a Top Gun commercial.
Using Top Gun as his commercial.
Ron DeSantis just decided.
He sat down with his social media people.
He sat down with his social media people. He sat down with his social media team.
Every politician probably now has a social media team, right?
They got a guy making clips.
They got the whole thing.
They got a guy transcribing the words.
They got a guy putting in the captions.
You got a caption guy.
You got a clip guy. You got a clip guy.
You got a team that handles TikTok across platforms.
You got a guy who transforms it from portrait to landscape.
You know?
And they're all like, they're probably all like, you know,
20-year-old kids with phones.
There's just a farm.
There's a De desantis social media farm
somewhere probably in india right there's a lot of those farms those click farms come from india
there's probably a lot of these politicians probably have their own like little offshore
um social media farm you know where he's got to call a guy named Sing once a week and be like, hey, guy, you know, can we break it up into clips?
Did you see my speech last night?
Clip it.
Clip.
Break it up into clips and spray it out across platforms.
And one of his guys was like, hey, man, we really need to.
We really need to put out a Top Gun commercial.
So here is Ron DeSantis' Top Gun.
Now, if you can watch this
without feeling a little queeze in your stomach,
congratulations, you're a sociopath.
Because this gives you the queezies.
It's called Top Goov, by the way.
And it's Ron DeSantis as Tom Cruise in sunglasses and a bomber jacket.
And here we go.
Action!
At Freedom Headquarters.
Good morning, ladies and gentlemen.
This is your governor speaking.
Today's training evolution, dogfight, taking on the corporate media.
The rules of engagement are as follows.
Number one, don't fire unless fired upon, but when they fire, you fire back with overwhelming
force.
Does it say that in the bill?
I'm asking you to tell me what's in the bill.
Number two, never ever back down from a fight.
If I could complete the question, though.
So are you going to give a speech or ask a question?
Number three, don't accept their narrative.
It's wrong. It's a fake narrative.
I just disabused you of the narrative, and you don't care about the fact.
It's why people don't trust people like you, because you peddle false narratives.
All right, ladies and gentlemen. What's gentlemen? It's why people don't trust people like you because you peddle false narratives. All right, ladies and gentlemen.
What's Jonathan doing?
It's a kid.
There he is with his son.
Welcome back, folks.
Welcome back.
Welcome back.
Welcome back.
Welcome back to the Long Days Podcast.
This is how I'm going to do the entire
fucking episode because this is how you connect to the people in 2022 you got to really treat them
like you're trying to communicate with with a with an autistic kid just a lot of sounds a lot
of movements and a lot of visuals a lot of out there visuals. Right now I am inside Evil Lavia and I got my shades on.
If this isn't holding your attention, I don't know what is.
Can someone punch me while I talk?
This podcast will be me doing this the whole time from now on
while I have shades on,
while somebody is kicking me in the head repeatedly.
Actually, I'll just use it as her
by mouth i'll just talk out of eve olivia's lips because that's what you got to do now
nothing is below nothing is below nothing is a low-hanging fruit for politicians these days
they're going all out dog um as a rejoinder if you don't know that word as a rejoinder not to be outdone
not to be outdone um our governor karen whatever is going to be releasing a um releasing a trailer from she's gonna be releasing a trailer from the movie what's the
movie god damn it the with the snm 50 shades she's gonna be releasing her own trailer from
50 shades of gay bill support 50 shades of we're against the don't say gay bill she'll be releasing that trailer
and then i think every governor will follow suit and release their own movie trailer spoof
you can't you can't add comedy to comedy right now if someone put this on i would i would have
thought it was a digital short from snl i would
say that's a digital short from snl but lo and behold no it is a uh it was done earnestly
by governor desantis you know otherwise pretty smart guy went to harvard went to yale all that
stuff was a baseball player i think he was he's a military veteran um there used to be a time where
a governor would go i'm not what are you crazy some you know some 19 year old from a social
media team will come hey gov movie's real hot right now you know what you know what rhymes with
you know what kind of sounds like gun gov top gov who's at the top Gov? You're the Top Gov. But this is, I don't know.
Is this how you communicate with people right now?
Is this how you do it?
I mean, Andrew Tate, this is a governor in Florida.
What's the difference, right?
What's the difference?
Is there any way to differentiate between a real boxer and and um and um jake paul is there a way to differentiate between me uh a comedian and um
i've just held my tongue i'm just not gonna gonna, there's no need to, there's no need. But you know what I'm saying?
Is there any way to differentiate between who's what?
What is what?
Who is, is there any way?
Is there any, is everyone just everything
and doing the same thing,
utilizing the same methods to communicate now?
Is anyone doing anything with integrity?
God damn it.
That's my question.
Does anyone have any fucking blithering and integrity anymore?
Is there an ounce of integrity left in this goddamn country?
Can,
does anyone know how to say no anymore?
Can someone say no?
Can someone besides Tiger Woods say no?
By the way, it was brought to my attention that we spent a whole episode
saying it was $700 billion, like three fucking morons.
Jared Harvick, Jesse Scaturo, Giannis Pappas, three fucking morons,
which is what this podcast could also be called,
that we actually sat there believing what we saw.
And it wasn't our fault.
It was whatever article we were reading said that
he turned down $700 billion to not play
in those tournaments in Saudi Arabia.
And I got to give credit where credit's due.
It was actually Joe Rogan.
We were texting and I said, the guy where credit's due. It was actually Joe Rogan. We were texting, and I said,
the guy turned down $700 billion to go play in those tournaments,
and he went, $700 billion?
He goes, it was $700 million,
and I actually went and Googled it on my phone to double-check
because it still didn't register that if he was getting 700 billion
he'd be the richest athlete of all time by an astronomical by an amount that's hard to even
conceive to give someone 700 billion dollars and then i saw that it was 700 million i went
you're right i'm a moron. And he just went, LOL.
But how come the three of us
just did that whole segment?
This was like two episodes ago
or something?
Yeah.
And you still have a shocked
look in your face.
I'm pretty sure I said million
because you were doing
the thousand bit.
You were like, yo,
for 700,000, I'd leave my wife
and they're offering a million.
I kept on correcting you.
I said million.
Well, you probably did.
But at some point,
most of the segment
was dedicated to billion.
Yeah, well, billion.
That's not a logical number.
Billion is what Dr. Evil requests when he does something.
Yeah, that's like $700 billion.
Yeah, we spent the whole time just going, this guy turned down $700 billion.
Which lets you know this podcast is good at business.
Didn't even cross my mind.
It didn't even cross my mind.
It didn't even cross my mind. I'm just being honest with you.
If you want to know how stupid I am,
it didn't even cross my mind
that the number 700 billion
was ridiculous, inconceivable, and laughable.
It didn't even cross my mind.
I'm going like a good guy.
I guess 700 bell.
Didn't even cross my mind.
Never.
But 700 million is still crazy.
700 million is still crazy.
So the point still holds.
But it does bear pointing out that we spent the whole segment
calling it 700 to 800 billion.
I mean, you know.
That's higher than most countries' GDPp dude and it just oh yeah exactly
and it just points out how easy it is to get things wrong with the amount of information
because we were reading it off a screen whatever we were reading had made the mistake and put it
700 billion so you know you're looking at countries' GDPs.
It's so easy nowadays to just like get it so wrong.
Like, you know, there's like, you know,
thousands and thousands and thousands of people out there
who won't read that article,
didn't know anything about the tournaments in Saudi Arabia,
but who listened to this podcast,
who are now walking around going, Tiger Woods turned down $700 billion.
Somebody went into a party and was trying to be like, say my point, going like, hey,
man, look, all right, he cheated on his wife, but he's not that bad a guy.
He turned down $700 billion to go play in a tournament in Saudi Arabia.
And somebody else is going, wow, he did turn down $700 billion.
And it's just out there right now
and then Joe Rogan's in the back like that's not accurate but I could tell you about grizzly bears
yeah I could tell you about grizzly bears and I could I could I could tell you about the real
number I got from Spotify which ain't a hundred mil yeah it's a lot more than that yeah 700
billion is the amount of money that we gave to Ukraine yeah it's it's exactly right so whatever
article we were reading probably mixed up the uh the amount that we give in aid to Ukraine
with what Tiger Woods was going to be paid to hit a ball into a grass hole.
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I remember I got into this long, drawn-out fight
with someone on Facebook about Novak Djokovic.
Boomer.
Yeah, real boomer that happened on Facebook.
It was about Novak Djokovic.
There was this article out about Novak Djokovic.
was this article out about Novak Djokovic. It was during this Simone Biles and Naomi Osaka mental health thing. Yeah. And there was this just misinformation out there about Novak Djokovic
doing something bad, saying something bad about Naomi Osaka or something.
And it was just absolutely incorrect.
And I was like going to bat and like giving him the facts.
But the guy had already made his argument.
It was a funny thing.
And it was somebody I knew.
I guess we're not friends anymore after that.
We were never really friends.
But I was giving him what the truth was.
But he had already made his facebook post he had
already like released his ire at novak djokovic and was turning it into this this big thing yeah
and i was going like it's not that's not right here it is novak djokovic wasn't referring to
simone biles when he said this is what is press pressure is a privilege,
right? So what happened was at some point he said, pressure is a privilege, right? And it was around
the time that the Simone Biles thing was happening, where she pulled out of the Olympics because of
her, the twisties, right? The mental health struggles. And someone just took, because
Naomi Osaka went through something similar. Someone took the Novak Djokovic quote
and just put it into that story.
Like, but it had nothing to do with it.
And then like, there was all these articles.
So what happened was, it was a meme.
A lot of people get their news from memes.
It was a meme shared that claimed
Djokovic criticized Biles' withdrawal
from the events where he said pressure is a privilege.
So someone made a meme about Simone Biles
and put Novak Djokovic's quote on there.
So the person who made the meme was trying to give their thought
on what it was.
They were saying, my opinion is, Simone Biles,
you shouldn't be doing this because pressure is a privilege.
They took Novak's quote and put it in there, and then people were mad at Novak Djokovic. opinion is Simone Biles you shouldn't be doing this because pressure is a privilege they took
Novak's quote and put it in there and then people were mad at Novak Djokovic that is 2022 right now
you have to be a forensic investigator to not have people want to come fucking blow up your house
because something got happened where someone put your face on a meme
and now all of a sudden you're getting death threats going like why do you hate simone biles
you're going you're just waking up you haven't even had your eggs yet and you're going what are
you talking about and then you have to like use you got to be a forensic investigator to backtrack
and find out how this lie started yeah yeah i didn't I didn't say that. I didn't say that. What are you talking about?
I said that
about this other thing
and I said that
four years ago.
Yeah.
Djokovic needs his MLA.
What does that mean?
Someone needs to cite it properly.
Oh yeah.
But that's
that's what it is
and so I guess
that's why we have now
everyone sort of
communicating
in
soundbites
communicating with grand histrionics.
Get smarter if you don't know it.
Just, you know, everyone's just, you're pulling up more.
Yeah, Novak Djokovic.
This is from the Metro News.
Oh, and here it is.
It makes the news.
What do they say here? So. It makes the news. What do they say here?
So it's in the news.
Novak Djokovic believes pressure is a privilege
after Simone Biles' withdrawal from two Olympic events this week
due to concerns over his mental health.
The USA's most successful gymnast, Djokovic, meanwhile,
is attempting to become blah, blah, blah.
Keep going.
When asked about Biles raising the issue of mental health in sports
and the pressure he is currently facing as he attempts to win the Grand Slam,
Djokovic replied,
Presser's a privilege, my friend.
Without pressure, there is no...
If you are aiming to be at the top, all that buzz,
I have felt that the...
I've gotten to the bottom of this already,
but now this article is pulling us into it
because this article is incorrect.
I've already gone through this
because I went
and we would have to spend 10 minutes now
to backtrack
to find out how that wasn't what he said.
Yeah.
It says Joe Ocobatch called her a nigga.
This is,
and they didn't correct it.
It's still there
in the Metro dot,
the Metro whatever in UK. It's still there in the Metro dot, the Metro whatever in UK.
It's still, now go back to the,
he didn't say that.
Because now we got to finish it.
Even though people don't care about this anymore.
Okay, here's the fact check.
In USA Today.
Amid talk about athletes' mental health
at the Tokyo Olympics,
some people are making comparisons between Serbian tennis stars,ak djokovic and simone bowles blah blah blah blah
a wildly shared meme prestige and privilege there's no professional sport blah blah blah
has been shared keep going the august facebook post hints at hypocrisy we got that while it's
true that novak said this his remarks and the ensuing happenings
are misrepresented here.
He was talking about his own experience
and he pulled out of the mixed doubles match
citing injuries.
So there you go.
There you go.
Reuters brought up Biles in passing
when he asked Djokovic about the pressure
of attempting
to earn a Golden Slam for major tenants
and the Olympic gold medal in the same year.
Novak, you would have heard about Simone Biles yesterday
talking about mental health and its pressure performing.
You're in the position going for the,
so now it turns to him.
You're in the position going for the Gold Slam.
You know, there is no more pressure on a tennis player
than you're currently, than you currently.
Keep going.
No, you're going too fast.
You're going too fast.
Than you, than you currently.
There's no more pressure on a tennis player
than you currently.
Can you speak about a bit about that?
Right.
So here I'm asking you about the pressure
you're experiencing, right? That is so
clear. That is so clear that the setup question was you're facing all this pressure. He prefaced
it with the Simone Biles. He goes, you know, it's in the news a lot. Simone Biles just talked about
this thing. You have all this pressure coming on you because of blah blah blah blah blah and blah blah blah blah and all this expectation expectations and so then he says what he says pressure is a privilege
referring to himself yeah and people just went and took that and ran with it baby flipped it on
them they flipped it on him who was asked this question the louisville police department yeah
no but i mean the person who was asking didn't even,
probably wasn't even planning on this controversy.
They just used Simone Biles to preface how much pressure athletes face,
and he gave his opinion on what he felt about pressure.
Yeah, even if he did say that, how much can I care about that
from a man who moans when he hits a ball?
You can't care too much about it.
Yeah.
You can't care too much, although I Yeah. You can't care too much.
Although I think technically he's pretty silent.
It's Nadal who likes to moan.
That shouldn't be legal.
I mean, you don't,
it doesn't take that much to hit the tennis ball
that you're going,
argh, argh.
You don't hear baseball players
when they hit the ball go,
argh, argh.
And that requires a lot more strength
to hit a baseball
than it does a tennis.
Like, the moan, I don't know what that is.
It's like, I think you're trying to distract the other guy,
but this isn't the first time Djokovic has said pressure is a privilege.
He made the same comment in his September 2020 interview.
So this is his stats on it, citing tennis icon Billie Jean King.
So this is his stance on it.
Citing tennis icon, Billie Jean King.
Billie Jean King, whose autobiography is titled,
Pressure is a Privilege.
Novak said he stands by that kind of quote.
So he took, again, a feminist icon, Billie Jean King,
and the title of her book, Pressure is a Privilege,
he took that quote and he said he agrees with it, right?
And now somehow that's a bad thing to say pressure is a privilege because of what Simone Biles was going through because she withdrew.
So that is, the reason why I think it's good to go into detail about this right now
is because this is sort of a microcosmic example of how we get our news i mean that's what this show is this show is a spoof on what's going
on right you know it's like even uh what's his name who just got released from cnn oh seth
settler brian settler whatever his name is yeah brian seltzer like whatever his name is. Brian Seltzer. Brian Seltzer. Like, everyone was focused on him.
You know what I mean?
It was like, news should be news,
and the person delivering it should be a conduit for the news,
not so much a personality that you know about
and care about whether he has his job or not.
Yeah.
No one's going to ask what their Amazon driver thinks about the Gaza Strip.
It's like now people who are on the right are celebrating the firing of Brian Stelter.
Why?
Because Brian Stelter was giving his opinion all the time.
News programs now are just people pandering to their base, giving their opinion.
It's not news.
That's not news.
News is in the ratings business now, and they do what marketers do.
Politicians are doing what advertising.
It is truly right now the United States of advertising, where everyone is acting like
a brand and
promoting themselves with the marketing strategies that brands use.
I think we got the title of our app right there.
Right there.
And one of the lowest, lowest, lowest, I mean, down, dirty, and lowest manipulation tactics that is utilized is the marrying of a powerful emotion
with the product. And people never even make the connection. They never go, oh my God,
what does a woman canoeing have to do with herpes medication? And you're going,
what does a woman canoeing have to do with herpes medication?
And you're going, it has nothing to do with it.
What they're doing is they're showing you the herpes medication and they're showing you something you feel great about.
So then you, because we're all suggestible, right?
We're all not as smart as we think.
We subconsciously, subliminally go,
oh, it's good good that product is good because i i i subconsciously
connected that positive emotion with that product yeah it doesn't even make people suspicious it
should make you suspicious you should be watching that herpes medication commercial going why the
fuck is she in a canoe yeah i'll tell you why she's in a canoe because it's fun
it's fun the less the commercial has to do with the product the more fucking suspicious you should
be if you turn on a if you turn on a commercial and a guy is getting a blow job while a dog is
sitting next to him and he's petting the dog and then it says subwayway? Eat fresh?
You should go, wait a second.
You're trying to manipulate me, aren't you?
Yes, I am.
Yes, I am.
If you see a governor put out a commercial
where he's replicating a movie
that unanimously is loved right now,
you should go, wait a second.
You're manipulating me, aren't you?
Yes, I'm making a commercial for me.
And commercials work.
The thing is, people think they're smarter than...
People don't think they work.
People don't think they work.
That's the thing.
A lot of people, you ask people,
they go, I don't even know why they do it.
Most people go, I don't even know why they do it.
I get what I want.
I buy what I...
Do ya?
Do ya?
Is that why I posted a video on Tik TOK, uh, criticizing
Kanye's people, tire fucking shoes that go for $900. And people in the comments got angry at me
and called me old, which by the way, is not a slur. It just means I'm smarter and wiser and
more experienced than you. And also me and Kanye are the same exact age, by the way.
But that's why people were mad.
People go, you don't know what the fuck you're talking about.
You're going, you've been fucking brainwashed.
That is an objectively horrific looking shoe.
If I saw a fucking, if I saw a Komodo dragon wearing those,
they still wouldn't look good.
They look like the shoes that the same people in Star Wars would wear.
They are horrible.
That's a good one, yes.
It looks like people tires.
It looks like people tires.
Look at those shits.
They're fucking hideous.
They're objectively hideous.
But people are like defending them
and buying them and paying a shit ton,
even though they probably cost 99 cents to be made.
And of course, you're going to say,
Jordans don't cost a lot, whatever.
Jordans are objectively fly.
Those are dope.
You know, these are not.
These are not.
And you will see, they will not stand the test of time the way Rod Lavers have,
the way Air Max 95s have.
They won't stand the test of time.
I guarantee you these go in and they go out.
Just like Kanye's sanity. In kanye sanity in and out in and out yeah because they're objectively horrific but that's the
reason people got mad at me because they're victims of like marketing they're victims of like
oh celebrity why do you think they're why do you think sprite has basketball player why do you
think they do that so you affiliate the successes of the athlete with the drink.
What the fuck does LeBron James have to do with a drink?
He's got nothing to do with a drink.
In fact, that is the opposite.
He's the worst spokesperson for Sprite
because he's the person least likely to use the product.
These people got it in their contract
that they can't drink soft drinks.
Do you understand?
He is a fucking multi, multi, multi, multi,
multi-million dollar investment by a team that says,
hey, dude, you can't ride a motorcycle.
You have to have a shaft.
We need you in tip-top shape.
We're spending a lot of money to employ you.
Your health is paramount.
And here is LeBron going, want a Sprite?
You go to LeBron's house right now,
the only thing he can offer you
is a fucking Jared Harvin-approved carrot juice.
Yeah.
The kid spends a million dollars on his body.
He's never hurt.
Do you think it's because he's drinking
high-fructose corn syrup?
He's not.
You know who is?
You.
You fat, easily manipulated loser
who's sitting on the couch playing video games
Who's fucking forming blood clots right now in your legs because you're not moving and you want to be like LeBron and
That's a lie. Yeah
Do I blame LeBron? No, he took his multi-million dollar check from sprite and do what you got to do
Do what you got to do. It's price not gonna make you better at basketball
Can't do no hook shot.
Not gonna have any fingers
to do so.
There's very few things
on this planet
as bad for you
as sodas
in their current form.
That's why you gotta get yourself
a Brooklyn Cannery
at brooklyncannery.com.
Yes.
As I was talking about
blood clots forming in the legs,
my toes went numb.
That is a true story.
Now,
because I have horrible circulation,
my diet's horrible.
Only thing worse than soda is advertising.
Advertising is bad for your health, man.
Certain things shouldn't be true.
If you see Gavin Newsom release a commercial
called White Man Can't Trump, run.
You know, you go to a pizza shop and it says,
voted number one pizza in America.
You go, they wouldn't lie to you on the sign, would they?
Advertising is professional lying.
It's professional lying.
It's what it is.
They lie.
And the most effective tactic, and when did that start?
Was it the Marlboro Man where they started trying to evoke emotion?
When did that kind of maudlin kind of, you know,
you hear the little jingle and you see the
you see the klondike the klonsdale i can't i still can't and you see the klonsdale horse running when
did that start where they figured out that like it's that effective it would make sense with the
cigarettes right because they had to put the the surgeon general advisory on it right so like but
that came later oh it came later that came later. Oh, it came later?
That came later.
Okay.
I know the Marlboro Man was a monumental moment in advertising.
And I don't know if that was,
I don't think that really represents the latest incarnation
that we're talking about, the latest trend.
Yeah.
This sort of emotional,
they tug at your heartstrings type of thing.
The tugging on your heartstrings type of thing is like,
it's the most popular type of advertising now. It's like, eat fresh it's like this they want you to feel good they want to
get you to they want to make you feel good about something that's very positive and you affiliate
it with your product like top gun and governor desantis a governor well they identify trends
and then they so they see what young people are into and
then they try and serve it back up to them right so right now you so you're hearing that from a
from an ad guy right we still got to get a check here and there so um that's exactly right right
so right now kids are into social justice right so they they spit that right back at you
right so you'll see those commercials do you remember that commercial with one of the
kardashians in the protest group holding a pepsi i mean there was it was yeah it was
that was so over the top that every it was transparent for everybody everyone made fun of it
but that's because it was so over the top which lets you know how far they're willing to go, right?
Like they let you see the strings there.
So they fucked up because they went too hard because she handed a Pepsi to the cop and they all just started dancing or something like that.
That's when they went too far.
But if you do it right, like if you do it just right, like if you do it like the Ukraine cereal cereal boxes like you do it just right unless you have
someone here like jesse to let you know what the meeting was like for that people just think that
was organically done out of the goodness of the heart the kids were like we want to do this and
we want to use a kellogg's box they think that you know that's not how it works kellogg's contacts
some schools right and they go hey we got, we're trying to do this great,
we're trying to do some good.
And then the teachers are like, yeah, Pete, they're doing good.
They're going to come, yeah.
They're going to give us this grant of this amount of money.
And Kellogg's goes, we're going to give you that grant.
Because in their mind, that fucking grant is 100% worth it
for what they get in return, which is a free advertisement.
If they wanted to do that advertisement on TV,
they would have to pay fucking what?
$500,000 for 30 seconds?
But if you get a bunch of dumb Chicago suburban kids to put a bunch of goddamn Kellogg's boxes
together for Ukraine, every stupid fucking media outlet will pick it up and it'll be
all over the goddamn digital landscape for $1,000 in a grant for computers for underprivileged kids.
It's all it costs, which is actually a tax write-off,
and that's why they do that.
Is anything I'm saying wrong?
Not one fucking thing.
You're hitting it on the head.
You're hitting it on the head.
That Kendall Jenner shit was brutal, though, right?
With the Pepsi?
Yeah.
That was bad.
If Ben and Jerry's can't stop the war in the Gaza, you're not going to break up
a Pepsi, a ride with a Pepsi.
Thank you for bringing that up.
Ben and Jerry.
First of all, I didn't know.
Are they still alive?
I thought one of them had a heart attack from eating his own ice cream.
I think there's some truth to that.
One of them had a heart attack.
I didn't know they were both still alive.
But Ben and Jerry, if you're listening, here's my deal.
Why instead of trying to stop the sale of your ice cream in the gaza strip why not make a commercial make a
commercial where you ben and jerry are they're in a canoe and they're just rowing and there's
palestinian refugees just not even you don't even put yourself in the commercial just a couple of
palestinian kids just rowing, dog,
over some good music.
Just give it a good TikTok track.
Yeah.
Put it on there.
And then at the end, just go,
Ben and Jerry's.
Ben and Jerry's.
Against the war.
Damage to Vermont Vermont based companies reputation
of license and sales
in occupied
Palestinian territories
too speculative
we covered it last time
so we're not going to get into it
but you know
I think a
a freezer full of
Ben and Jerry's ice cream
call me crazy
isn't going to have a sway
either way
you leave the Ben and Jerry's
at least kids can get
some fucking ice cream
If you take it out
In fact I think they're just gonna be even more pissed
I mean look
They're living under occupation and shit
Can they at least have some Chunky Monkey
You're actually helping by selling it there
Alright
I get it
It's Israel
It's Israel licensed the deal
But they're doing it anyway
Might as well put some fucking ice cream in there
That's like a
That's like a band-aid
company or like a hospital
who's going there that Israel puts in the
strip going like, we're not going there.
They're not going to have a hospital.
What do you want? It's not going to change it.
Look, Ben and Jerry's, if you pull out,
Benjamin and Harry will
open their own shit. Someone
will fill the void. It'll be a shaved ice stand.
Yeah, it'll just be a cow with a yarmulke on it.
The emblem will be that cow,
and that cow will just be like this,
with a yammy on.
So ice cream will be sold.
There's obviously a market there.
People have money.
They want to eat ice cream.
Anyway, we're piggybacking off last episode,
but it bears repeating a little bit,
because this is an interesting topic.
And it ties us into Andrew Tate,
who's essentially doing the same thing as Governor DeSantis.
Making content.
He's building his brand.
Who is Andrew Tate?
I had never heard of this dude
until a couple of weeks ago.
Is it because I'm old
or is it just because
I'm not spending a ridiculous time
on TikTok scrolling around
being told that I need to become a top G2
by going to Hustler University?
So I looked into this guy.
He's very much like Trump.
Now Trump is a creation of Hollywood.
Like we said, we're piggybacking off a lot of previous episodes,
but he's also a creation of the social media era.
He was the first president to get elected online.
Online ads, local grassroots advertising, misinformation.
It happened.
You know, you can say what you want.
Those things happen.
I get it.
That also happens as well.
Okay, but I'm just saying they use that as their strategy.
You know, the people in his camp, the Bannons,
the people like this had built social media stuff, right?
The Breitbarts, they had built that.
They knew the power of it.
Obama got elected on
tv during the debates trump also did well in the debates because he was i mean he was basically
debating the most boring person of all time i mean yeah there was collusion it was between
hillary clinton and her lack of charisma all right i just stole a joke from my old special
but why not bears repeating itself it's all right I shot myself like Tom Segura. Yeah.
Shot himself in the leg.
I hope he presses charges against him.
By the way, do guns kill people or people kill people?
Well, sometimes people who don't know how to handle a gun hurt people.
Yeah.
Hurt themselves.
a gun kill hurt people yeah hurt themselves um this is it this is this is this is another iteration of a trump type star right everywhere very boisterous going against the grain saying
politically incorrect stuff for the sake of kind of comedy but more entertainment you know you watch
him it's like he's playing this character right and i don't you don't know what's real and what's not it's the same thing with trump you don't know what he
means or what's not right by the way trump should have got sued for defamation for running around
talking about how obama was uh kenyan muslim do you remember when he was when you remember when
he was uh when he was selling that and that made him popular with the base yeah because everyone
on that side hated obama so much they wanted to believe that he was the number one salesman that was the first thing
he was fucking selling people are selling you shit and look how riled up you are right now
you're watching this and you're riled up you're fucking riled up you want to attack yanni you
want to you want to fucking yanni you fucking dem. You want to attack just because I'm talking about your savior.
Why is he your savior?
Because it's been marketed to you as the savior.
You really think Donald Trump, the person, gives a shit about anything at all besides Donald Trump?
Then you got another thing coming.
besides Donald Trump, then you got another thing coming.
Do you think Andrew Tate really gives a shit about you becoming the top G and bettering men to be masculine
and how you got to put women on a leash or whatever the fuck he's saying?
Do you think he really cares about that?
Or do you think he really cares about Andrew Tate being bigger, more,
having more money, being more famous?
What do you think they care about?
I'll tell you.
They care about one thing a whole lot,
and here's the surpriser.
They care about the other thing zero.
Not 1%.
This is how much Trump cares about
what's happening at the border.
Zero.
Zero.
You ever talk to someone who really cares
about what's happening at the border?
They can't even get through the sentence.
It's too complicated.
They're going, well, they don't just go and go, there's a wall.
You know?
That's something we can understand.
We can understand.
You really want to talk about it.
It requires a little bit more than a fucking sound bite to talk about what's going on the border and solutions etc our border is unique it's not like other borders we're
the best country in the world and right next door there's cartels cutting people's heads off
because we want to buy the drugs and then we're selling them guns is all you know then you got
border patrol guys who are getting slipped money by the drug cartels to funnel that it's a whole
complicated thing it's a whole complicated fucking thing.
It's a nightclub.
And it's also like a massive border
where it's like the best place on earth
is right next door to Mexico.
A lot of those migrants aren't even from Mexico.
They walk into Mexico
because Mexico has a porous border below that.
They come from other countries into Mexico
to cross into ours.
And then you got people who are hiring them
for fucking low money because it's good for their bottom line. You know what I mean? There's And then you got people who are hiring them for fucking low money
because it's good for their bottom line.
You know what I mean?
There's a lot of capitalists who are going like,
shut the fuck up.
A lot of people who are having their house cleaned
who are going, shut the fuck up.
You know, there's that famous story somewhere in the South,
maybe it was Arkansas or Mississippi or wherever,
where they made it illegal for undocumented workers to farm.
There was a 60 Minutes about it. It's a go research it yourself person who's pissed off um where
they stopped it so the political establishment there obviously based on the reactionary sentiment
was like get all these illegals out they did it right and the farmers the farmers who many of
which i'm sure supported it right yeah kind of
like some of them but the other ones who had the the undocumented labor were like dude you don't
you don't get this because what the what the 60 minutes was about was like the farming industry
collapsed because they couldn't find anyone to do their job not for not the money withstanding
it was just like they couldn't find anyone who would work like that.
Yeah.
Who was willing to work that hard.
They were like,
Pedro's the only one that could reach those carrots.
Dog.
Have you ever seen Mexicans fucking out there doing their thing?
Whether it be roofing or fucking farming or whatever they're doing dog.
It's like Kyrie handling.
It's like Kyrie handling the ball.
Yeah.
You are absolutely.
It's incredible.
And so they had to like reverse it
because ideas are one thing, reality is another.
Reality is always very complicated, multifaceted,
and it's not, it doesn't tell a simple story.
It's not fiction.
Fiction tells a simple story.
Fiction sells.
People love stories. Nowiction tells a simple story. Fiction sells. People love stories.
Now everything has become a story.
Everyone is one dimensional.
Everyone hides portions of their personality
and they become one thing.
And the cancel culture and all that reinforces that too.
Because it's like, I only gotta be this one good thing
because if they find out I'm a three dimensional person
and I have some imperfections,
they may fucking take my livelihood. So this also reinforced be a brand be a brand
be a brand so even our politicians now they say one thing they stick to it they're fucking cartoon
characters you know when you think of aoc she's a cartoon character you can see and she's got
she's a piece but you see her out there just being a cartoon character sticking towing the line ever ever more increasingly extreme all the time
to the point where criminals have to get rebranded now we have more sympathy for criminals in jail no
matter what they've done then we do let's say lou.K., who made a couple of girls feel uncomfortable because he wanted us to take his dick out,
which is not breaking the law.
It's sleazy, depending, I don't know all the circumstances.
But like he, there'll be protests
if fucking he wanted to do anything, right?
But if some guy who fucking held up a store,
held up a fucking store with a knife,
we go like, we go sit there.
First of all, we got to, he's a guest here at the prison.
Second of all, we need to get into
one of these socioeconomic factors
that contributed to why he did what he did.
I'll sit down with him, okay?
Somehow the system is the problem.
Somehow this amorphous of an idea of privilege
and society and all this shit and race and all these things get thrown in there where you're going like, hey, can we just, this is a guy.
Why are you focusing on what he, all these other things?
This is a guy.
Whether he be white, brown, black, you know, the old, what's the old fucking cliche?
White, brown, black, or yellow.
I love how they throw yellow.
You're like, who's yellow?
I don't know anyone
who's like let's jaunt this dog if you're yellow go see a doctor yeah all right because even asians
that was an old like racist thing they're not yellow you know they're more like whitey
complexion yeah but no matter what you are like is that the salient feature of the story
he's a guy he did a. But you get into all this,
oh, poverty causes crime.
Sometimes, yeah.
For the most part, yeah.
It seems like that's
who mostly does crime and why.
But we're not dealing
with that right now.
We're dealing with a guy
who robbed a store at knife point.
Why are you more sympathetic
to him than you are Louis C.K.?
Who pulled his dick out.
By the way, seems like he asked.
And by the way, some women fucking are into that.
I mean, let's be honest.
Some women are okay.
Even Sarah Silverman said, yeah, let him do it.
So what do you want from me?
What do you want from me?
You know who is also defending him?
Was Janine Garofalo.
Can you get more left than Janine Garofalo?
No.
I mean, she's on the left side of funny.
Yeah.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah.
And she was defending him.
Huh?
Her stage notes look like a manifesto.
I mean, really, it's like watching Unabomber do comedy.
We're joking.
We're joking.
She's great.
I love her, and she's very nice to me.
I'm just kidding.
I'm just saying, you got to be into a particular thing.
You got to be...
Of course.
Very talented actress.
Very funny.
Groundbreaking.
Groundbreaking.
Yeah, big movie.
Very funny.
But my point is, she was very politically active.
She was on, what, Air America? I mean, she's as left as it gets. I mean, she's very politically active she was on what is air america i mean she's
as left as it gets you know i mean she's so left she didn't have kids that's pretty left
you know that's kind of like a left-wing statement when you don't have kids like
all women who vote right they're just like they want to have kids the left is like women's rights
women equal pay all right good luck with that.
Good luck with trying to stay young forever.
Good luck with trying to find fulfillment in your profession.
That's a young Janine?
Yeah,
that's probably a little younger,
but good luck with that.
None of us,
I don't find any,
I don't have fulfillment in my profession.
You find fulfillment in your life,
in your family.
We're going wild this episode and i like it yeah i like it too you know jesse send me that picture
but is there some truth to what i'm saying here
you know it's like there's all this sympathy for you know even murderers and you got like
There's all this sympathy for, you know, even murderers and shit.
You got like Louis C.K.
I mean, it's like, guy didn't even break the law.
Did what he do was bad?
I guess, depending, I guess, to that person.
I mean, from what I heard, they were giggling at the time.
So I don't know, dog.
He got caught up in the wave, you know.
He got caught in the wave, but now the wave's over.
So let's talk about it.
I mean, you know, he's a comedian. He took his dick his dick out i mean there's people who've done a lot worse sometimes people
handle do you remember that guy whose store got robbed and he stabbed the guy or whatever yeah
and it took it waited till they had to come out with footage where one of them other ones had a
knife or something and then the guy went to jail for like defending himself against someone trying
to assault him and rob his fucking store.
You remember that?
Yeah, it was a bodega.
The guy came behind the counter
because apparently
his EBT wasn't being accepted
for his girl
trying to buy chips
and he was like,
yo, what's the problem?
He went behind
and stabbed him
and he killed him,
unfortunately.
Right.
But he got out
like five days later.
He did get fired up
but there was like a lot of
people were angry at him.
People were angry at him
but once they saw the footage
they were like,
okay, he came behind and he was trying to rough him up with self-defense right yeah well the establishment said that but the public sentiment i think was partly like hey first of
all ask him question why what like you know why would he want to become like what happened in his
life yeah that would make him want to get so angry and come behind there's a lot of sympathy for
criminals i mean it's just it's endless they're defending robbers. Like, hey, at least they told people
to get down first. Yeah. I mean, look, he's a guy ass. I mean, look, I understand. I understand
that there's socioeconomic factors that contribute to crime and I understand all that, but this sort
of over intellectualizing, this sort of, this trend to take ideas and ideals from the platonic realm and not apply them and try to apply them to the real world
as if those two things ever really match up
is what's destroying us across the board.
It's destroying us across the board.
It really is.
It's like ideals and ideas have nothing to do with reality.
They're two separate things.
They're two separate things.
But it's this over-intellectualizing.
It happens with comedy all the time too.
You'll put a joke up and someone will go,
I used to think this was funny before I realized it was transphobic.
You're going, it's a joke.
Don't you think you're putting a little bit too much fucking mental masturbation into a joke're going, it's a joke. Like, don't you think you're putting a little bit too much
fucking mental masturbation
into a joke?
Yeah.
It's a joke.
It is.
It's a joke.
Jokes by definition
have bad things in them
because that's why
they call them jokes.
Nobody goes like,
hey man,
I'm kidding.
Nobody goes,
hey man,
you're gorgeous
to Brad Pitt
and then goes,
I'm kidding.
It's a true statement. You want to make a joke about Brad Pitt? You man, you're gorgeous to Brad Pitt. And then goes, I'm kidding. It's a true statement.
You want to make a joke about Brad Pitt?
You go, you're fucking ugly.
And then people laugh because it's a joke.
They know it's not true, right?
You can't state facts.
You can't be nice and be funny.
Who's nice and funny?
Okay?
Who's nice and funny?
Trevor Noah?
Yeah, but then when you watch a stand-up, you'll see he's got some targets.
You have to have a target.
You can't be nice and be funny.
Yeah.
Even Jerry Seinfeld,
the cleanest comedian in the world,
he's going,
who designed this?
Who designed that?
This soap thing.
You're being a dick.
To the guy who designed that,
you're being a dick.
You'd be asking for an autograph
and he'd tell you to kill yourself.
Yeah, he's just not sophisticated enough
to tell jokes that really have any meaning to them.
Without Larry David.
Who's a little more honest.
Right?
He'll tell a joke about a soap thing,
but then you see him in person,
he'll say, don't look me in the eye.
You're like, okay, sorry, Caesar.
You know, but that's the type of comedy you want.
Fucking two specials.
I'm supposed to call this guy one of the greatest of all time.
Give me a fucking break.
It's very funny, but I'm saying, I'm just saying what the Larry David show proved was it was mostly Larry David.
I mean, what are we talking about?
The comic strip special?
I mean, he fucking was doing jokes from the 80s.
He was like, guys,
I rolled down my window the other day.
You're going, you rolled down your window the other day?
In 2022, you rolled down your window?
Took me 33 seconds to dial the phone.
Yeah, I mean, okay, listen.
Icon.
I'm just saying icons get very comfortable.
They get very comfortable.
One of the funniest,
obviously, I'm joking, right? And that's the funniest obviously i'm joking right and that's the point
i'm joking is that seinfeld's an icon he's very funny i've seen him crush he's very funny but
i'm making jokes there's a little truth to them and that's how jokes happen there's a little truth
but that's jokes you say things that aren't fully true you say things that are offensive you say
things like you know nobody got in trouble and nobody laughs at things that are right nobody laughs when
someone's helping a helping an old lady across the street that's not where laughter comes but
laughter comes is if you're watching a tv show and someone pushes an old lady down the street and
they know it's not real because it's that would be sad yeah but there's some humor to that when you
know it's fake right you know it's fake that's what humor is we know it's fake but everyone's like fucking
throwing these academic ideals onto everything oh this one's less about the news and more of a
long day this is more of a patreon anyway so we spent a lot of time on this desantis ad because
it's cringeworthy It's very cringeworthy
And there's not much else
To say about that
It's a fucking
Cringeworthy thing
Yeah
We were talking about Tate though
Oh we got to Tate
We did
Yeah
So tell me about Andrew Tate
Yeah
Who is Andrew Tate
What has
What has your research
Journalist
Jared Harvin
Given you
So he was on a show in 2016, I believe, scroll up, Jesse.
I forgot the show that he was on.
King of Toxic.
Basically, he was on a show in 2016.
He got X'd from the show because there was a video that popped out that he was abusing a woman with a belt.
He made a claim that it was all, it was edited, this, this, and that.
he was abusing a woman with a belt.
He made a claim that it was all,
it was edited, this, this, and that.
And afterwards on Twitter,
he was basically saying that some women have to take responsibility
for when they get abused
because, you know, you gotta, you gotta.
So he's essentially,
he's doing like the Donald Trump thing.
Yeah, he's doing the Donald Trump thing.
He's doing the Donald Trump thing.
But people are saying that he is a,
he is a toxic man
who's setting an example
for younger men to follow.
So he's kind of very bad for them.
Well, that's also ridiculous that they keep treating everyone like kids.
Like people can't make decisions for themselves because they're watching Andrew Tate.
Yeah.
You know, Andrew Tate is not the problem.
I think in some ways we got to start examining, you know, what the algorithm wants.
Who's ingesting this too because he had 13 million
hits on his name from all his YouTube his Twitter tick tock everything like that so there's people
who's consuming this right that they know that's wrong they've heard about it you see the
means and I think they're so hungry for it now here's where I come in this is where the insight
comes in with from Yanni and I'm right people are hungry for like some real funny, right? Some real talk,
some real funny that they end up enjoying these absolute buffoons like him and Trump,
because they're the only ones that go all the way. They go all the way. So if you starve people
enough and keep throwing them this content and these
comedy specials and these shows that people don't want and you take all of like
the real entertainment from them because of this whole cool thing now to try to act like a saint
like you're you're better than everyone and you're purer than everyone. This whole puritanical zeitgeist that we're dealing with now
where everyone's going, where'd you get those sneakers?
Do you know about the Slay the Bird?
It's because of that people end up, they get so starved,
they end up embracing people like this as almost a little bit of a fuck you,
as a little bit of a, and these people are doing this to fill a void
because there's no void. There's a lack of diversity. Yeah, and these people are doing this to fill a void. Because there's no void.
There's a lack of diversity.
Yeah, and most people won't go to this extent.
Like, I won't go to this extent to get attention, right?
Because I have integrity.
But people like Andrew Tate and Donald Trump don't.
So they will go to whatever extent to self-aggrandize.
They'll say whatever to do whatever to make the crowd pop.
Okay? When you watch Donald Trump perform at his rallies,
he ain't trying to be thorough and fair.
He's trying to pop the crowd.
Andrew Tate is trying to say the most shocking shit
to pop the crowd in a reactionary way.
So they're both very similar.
Look, they even both form stupid universities.
They both have their universities.
They're warm-up comedians. I mean i mean yeah they're trying to pop the crowd they're local comedians yeah
they're local comedians popping the crowd with local references i mean it's funny you can see
the similarities i mean they both have these universities they both have other people
acting on their behest they They have these hardcore followers.
They say these out randish things, these hasty generalizations. They pretend that they're being
earnest, but really they're not like it's a little bit of an act, you know?
They're very similar in that way. Big personalities, boisterous. I bet you if you got Donald
Trump in a room alone, right? Just you and him,
it would be a lot different. If you got Andrew Tate in a room alone, you and him,
it would be a lot different than what he portrays. They do it because it works. And the reason why
it works is because people are starved. Why are they starved? Because all these tech companies
and all of Hollywood has said, we don't do anything that's mean.
Friends is on notice.
The show Friends is on notice.
Seinfeld's on notice.
Everything's on notice.
Game of Thrones on notice.
Everything's on notice.
You do anything that may have any impurity in it, it's on notice.
It's on notice.
You're on notice.
It's wrong.
You find out anything about a person someone tweeted, Kevin Hart, you're on notice.
For that tweet, you're on notice. Should he host the Oscars? We don't know. Maybe he's on notice It's wrong You find out anything About a person Someone tweeted Kevin Hart You're on notice For that tweet
You're on notice
Should he host the Oscars
We don't know
Maybe he's on notice
Louis CK took his dick out
Something everyone
In the comedy community
Apparently knew about
I didn't
But he did it
And people thought
It was kind of funny
Or whatever
Or inappropriate
Or whatever
You're on notice
Elmo
All your things are gone
Elmo
Well Elmo
He got accused
You know
Something illegal
That's my point
Is if you do something illegal Or you're accused of something illegal, that's something to look into.
If someone did something illegal, there's laws there for a reason.
Morally wrong is different.
Morally wrong is different, especially if there's some people who are in it.
Unless it's especially a gray zone, like taking your dick out.
If you ask a girl, mind if I take my dick out and masturbate?
That's a grounds.
I know some people who like to get hit when they have sex.
Yeah, that's okay.
I chip my nails. I mean,? That's a grounds... I know some people who like to get hit when they have sex. Yeah, that's okay. I chip my nails.
I mean, the context matters.
Context matters.
What you may think is inappropriate is inappropriate.
But the reason why it's not illegal is because we live in a free country and some people
are into that shit.
Some people like to listen to Andrew Dice Clay because they know he's joking.
Remember, they tried to fucking stop him from saying shit.
They want to stop fucking Ice-T from saying shit. They to stop fucking iced tea from saying shit they constantly want to stop people from saying
shit like they're they're pure yeah the government wants to stop eminem from rapping really while the
government is funneling fucking weapons to fucking iran and iran current contra scandal
now i'm talking about the iced tea era but it's like really now you're the good guy
now you're the good guy ben and jerry? Now you're the good guy. Now you're the good guy.
Ben and Jerry's.
Now you're the good guy.
Feeding diabetes, fucking diabetes, foam dessert with chunky monkey in it with Steve Carell's face.
Now you guys are the good guys.
Well, you kill people one foot at a time.
Sugar's addictive.
You're a drug dealer, dickhead.
You're a fucking drug dealer.
Sugar kills a lot of people, dog.
And it maims a lot of people.
And that's what you sell.
You're not selling bananas, dick fuck.
And you're the good guy.
Kellogg's.
Oh, you work with kids and you're the good guy?
With your fucking shit sugar cereal?
To kids?
Sugar is kids' cocaine.
That's what it is.
And you sell that, but somehow you're the fucking good guy.
Here's the deal.
Nobody's the good guy.
Nobody's the good guy.
You know who knows that better than anyone?
Nature.
Nature wants to kill us
all the time why because they have motive we stink we're fungus growing on a rock so nature knows
what it's doing before 1900 do you know the chances you know who you know who was the biggest aborter
before abortion nature not only do they try to kill the kids, they tried to kill the mom too.
From 20 to sometimes 50 to sometimes even 70,
depending what plagues were around
or whatever,
or places in history.
Sometimes it was up to like 70%
of the kids wouldn't make it.
The kid would die.
Mozart,
the genius Mozart,
the musician,
guess what?
Was one of seven kids but guess what
only two of them lived how many kids of abraham lincoln have who didn't do didn't make it
kids died before 1900 kids often died
nature knew what he was doing nature goes those kids aren't innocent they're human free trials
yeah you're you're human and if you're religious you go like wait a second don't you believe in original sin so he's innocent who
exactly is innocent it's so ironic because uh reason and medicine and technology is what allows
childbirth to be safe for now right it's the thing that but It's the thing that people wail against, going like,
hey man, just let nature be. If you let nature be, chances are you'll get the abortion that you hate
just because childbirth is violent and often goes wrong. I mean, 20% is a lot. Two out of 10,
sometimes it would go up to 50%. Like I said,
depending on the place on the globe and the time in history and the context, often kids wouldn't
make it. In nature with animals, oftentimes those pups don't make it. So that's context.
That's context for you. It's not a clean world.
It's not a clean world.
Should we try to make it a cleaner world?
Yes.
But with the childish naivety to make it perfect?
No.
Because that's when you start getting zealotized.
Zealotized because by definition it's not real.
It's not real.
It has nothing to do with reality.
What you're trying to do is just unreal.
You're trying to socially engineer everything. It's not real. It's not real. It has nothing to do with reality. What you're trying to do is just unreal. You're trying
to socially engineer everything. It's not real. It's not real. Nobody's good. People are self
interested. They're a complex mixture of selfish and good and bad and they run the spectrum. Some
people are worse, net. Some people are more good.
Some people are more competitive.
Some are less.
I mean, it runs the gamut.
So stop trying to have these all-in-one solutions for everyone.
It's not the way it works.
I like to see you nodding because it means I'm saying something that's true.
But also, this is a long day.
You haven't giggled in a long time.
I had a feeling this was going to be a little bit of a long one because i just there was just some things i needed to get off my chest i wanted to get that
off my chest and i really hate this fucking young people shit where they're going like you're just
old you're like dude that's the problem with our society healthy societies you know it's like in
politics did we say that before did we say that already
about how it's just like it's run by either old people or young people now it's just either old
fucking 70 80 year old people running laws like old bitter people who are gonna die soon or like
young people who are just like nihilistic are dictating policy now it's what about all those
people in between who were just like making families live in are dictating policy now it's what about all those people in between
who are just like making families living their lives in their 30s and their 40s and their 50s
and their 60s everything's so extreme you know and older is not it's not a slur when you call
someone oh you know the reason and the reason why kids do that and they think oh he's old he's a
boomer or whatever and they say that as a pejorative is because companies make these kids feel very important.
Companies make them.
And why do they make you important?
I hate to break it to you.
It's because they know you're stupid and they know you will buy their product.
That's why.
Why do you think the coveted demographic is, what is it, 16 to 34 or whatever?
18 to 24. 18 to 24. why do you think it's the coveted
you have the you have no responsibilities no bills you don't know anything about the world
and you're the one who will spend the most on dumb shit they know you have expendable why do
they make boy bands and boy girl why do they spend all that money to put those together to
entertain dads who have bills who have priorities priorities, who use apps to budget.
No, because it's dumb 14-year-old girls who don't know what good entertainment is, who
just get happy because Justin Timberlake.
Are you a Justin Timberlake?
No, I'm more of a Chris Kirkpatrick.
I like the underdog.
I like the black horse.
I like the also ran.
They know you're dumb. So they make you feel important. But the reason why you feel important is because they've made you feel important. And
the reason they target you is because you're dumb. You're dumb as shit. You haven't done anything.
You haven't experienced anything. You haven't been manipulated. You're currently being manipulated.
You haven't been manipulated and realized it. You're currently being manipulated. Older people have been manipulated, not meaning I'm better
than you, meaning I went through the same shit and then got older and realized I was being
manipulated. So I'm better than you only because I've been through it. Older people just have a
little more wisdom. You know, You can't tell me shit.
Sometimes you say some wise shit.
Yeah.
Anyway, TikTok and Twitter are fucking robbing all of our data.
What's new?
And we just keep going back for more.
We can't stop.
You gonna give up your account?
No, I'm not.
It's funny, because you read these articles,
and you just go, ah, fuck, I guess they're just gonna know what I not. It's funny, because you read these articles and you just go,
ah, fuck,
I guess they're just going to know what I do.
It's the age of sacrifice, man.
They got great chicken,
but they also hate the gays.
You still going to go?
I got to go.
The thing,
this is the thing about China.
So the FCC commissioner calls TikTok
Chinese spyware
and wants it pulled from mobile apps.
Now, this isn't a news story, right?
This has been known for a while,
but something recently has come out about Twitter.
We made a joke about that,
that Twitter is also very vulnerable to third parties
stealing your data, all that stuff.
Twitter's former security chief alleges
his company misled regulators about security bots.
Former Twitter security chief is alleging
social media has major security deficiencies
that threaten privacy on the platform
and national security more broadly.
Some of the security issues allegedly leave the company
vulnerable to disinformation, hacking, and foreign spying.
We know it's all true.
We all love fame.
We all want to get big.
Everyone has the dream of just being famous
and not having to work for it.
And that's what these social media platforms play into, right?
So that's why we'll never give it up.
Because fame for Americans is like eating.
We need it.
We need it.
Jesse's one of the only people I've ever met
who has no interest in fame.
Or socks.
Or socks.
Or shoes, for that matter.
He's wearing Crocs.
But it's a rare thing, dog.
That's a strange thing that I can say that confidently.
It's a rare thing.
You give 10 out of 10 people the opportunity
to put themselves out there and get more noticed,
they'll take it.
Very few people be like, yeah, that's not really me.
You know what I mean?
I just kind of, I mean, I'm into it.
It's very rare.
Right.
So I think our foreign adversaries to some extent know that about our culture.
They kind of have had that insight. was created after a meeting that talked about that going hey man what's the best way to influence these people to get make them stupider to uh what do they love what do they love they love
fame they love money right so what do they all do they create tick tock they they dangle that carrot
right or all these girls are shaking their asses we're down to a one minute attention span. All the American companies now have to change their landscapes in order to compete with TikTok. YouTube has done it. Now
they got the shorts and they do it. If you look at the short pages on YouTube, it's the same exact
as TikTok where the still frame is moving, the whole thing. Instagram has done it now where it's
all reels. They've done it to imitate the chinese
company that did it to destroy us because they they know that those other they knew those other
companies will cave because at the end of the day those companies care about one thing not you
whenever they say hey this this this content is uh age restricted they don't care about you they care
about their money they care about getting a bad reputation where parents write and sue them and say, hey, my daughter saw this. They just don't want you to fuck with their
money. So the Chinese companies know, hey, they'll all imitate us. They'll all become us. They'll
become stupider and stupider. They love fame. What else do they love? Money. Oh, so you know what
we'll do? We'll offer them cash for their house every single time. You'll never ask, hey, how did
you get all this cash? How does this Asian person just walk in
and have four million
to put down on my house?
I'm not going to care.
I want the four million.
I'm not going to ask questions.
Wait a second, Mr. Wang.
How did you get four million cash?
Nobody's going to care.
Are you going to not sell?
Who's going to not sell?
Who's going to not sell?
I'll fucking sell.
I'll sell this show right now for 100 yen.
And guaranteed safety from the CCP.
I'll sell it right the fuck now.
So they use it against us.
Our greed.
And what's the sin for wanting attention?
Vanity.
Our greed and vanity.
They use it against us.
Hats off.
Hats fucking off.
And to think that they're not aware of that
is just naive.
That this was just a happy accident
that TikTok got so popular.
Just a happy accident.
Just a happy accident
that they're buying up every port,
you know,
in their hemisphere.
And they made their inroads into Greece by buying that port.
Just a happy, they just really want to help.
They really want to help.
They really want to help Greece.
Here's this loan.
I'm just here to help.
I'm only here to help.
I know you're good for the loan, dog.
I know you're good for the loan, right?
I don't want to do this to have any leverage over you. I know you're good for the loan right i don't want to do this to have any leverage over you i know you're good for the loan so they're still in our ship big deal
paul pelosi's in prison for five days
so andrew tate i mean do you ban him i mean you know what like what is that gonna do i i don't i
don't get what they're trying to do it's gonna make them bigger if you do that yeah and they're
not they're not they're not dealing with the underlying problem with the underlying problem
is like their own hypocrisy the underlying problem is the way they're trying to censor everything and create this pure world
gives people like Andrew Tate,
who has no particular set of skills, really,
that he's really good.
He's not exactly a great entertainer, actor, comedian.
He's just a personality saying boisterous shit.
He's willing to say the shit.
Kansas Owens got so big
because she's willing to say the crazy shit. Sheens got so big because she's willing to say the crazy
she's willing to go there she switched political affiliation she's willing to go there
she's willing to say it she's willing to say all this stuff 40 of the stuff that she'll say normal
people will go i'll agree right but only someone who's will crazy enough to say the hundred will do what she's doing.
Most people go, I can't get on board with that.
But somebody's got to say it, so she'll say it.
Because in order, and the reason why people don't say it
is because they're scared of backlash, right?
They're scared if they do say something
that might have some more truth to it,
but not support the status quo or tell the
current politically correct line they know that there's going to be repercussions so they look
at candace owens and they go at least someone's saying it at least there's some pushback now yeah
now i got a war makes for strange bedfellows i gotta side with candace owens she's the only
who's telling me slavery wasn't that bad or whatever the
fuck she says.
I got a side with her because in addition to saying slavery wasn't that bad,
she also said,
you know what?
You know,
maybe if you're maybe,
maybe there is a such thing as gender kinda.
So Andrew Tate is not an outlier
Is my point
He's more of
The normal prototype
Of the person who gets famous now
The person who becomes president
The person who becomes governor
The person who becomes state senator
The person who becomes congressperson
It's more the prototype now
The more outrageous and outlandish
You can be The more outrageous and outlandish you can be,
the more attention you're going to get
because they're suppressing everything else.
They're suppressing everything else.
So you either toe the line
and you're a perfect good soldier for the PC
so there's no problems that come to the company
or whatever, the reputation.
You either toe the line and pretend that you're a pure angel and you're for justice of everything.
Meanwhile, you're revving up your private jet or whatever the fuck you're doing that
makes you a hypocrite.
Either you pretend like you're that and say nothing controversial or anything true and
perfectly pure, or you're an absolute fucking sociopathic fame whore
who will say or do anything for attention
like Andrew Tate, Donald Trump, Candace Owens.
The list fucking goes on.
Lauren Boebert, fucking Tyler Green,
whatever her dumb name is.
Yeah.
You know?
These people are saying outlandish shit.
That's what's happened.
Andrew Tate's at the beach
and he's swimming
past the buoy,
basically.
Yeah,
we're being pulled apart
by marketing
and by foreign adversaries
who know what our weakness is.
Enjoy it.
Enjoy it, baby,
because it's a going
out of business sale. This's a going out of business sale
This is a going out of business sale right now
Get your little chunk
You're not going to be able to fix it
So you will be tuning into this pretty soon
And I will be doing this
The whole time
Talking about
You know
What you got to do with your woman
Is put her on a leash
You want a healthy relationship? Put her on a leash you want a healthy relationship
put her on a leash dog walker okay once in a while just smack her here to let her know
what you mean i'll be doing that or i'll be going on here going hey guys how you doing this is uh
my daily show fan show where the podcast we just talk about uh we rate how great The Daily Show is on the moral scale.
Today, we give them an 8 out of 10 because they didn't do that and they should have done that,
but for the most part, it was good. Hi, welcome to the, this is the anti-appropriation podcast
brought to you by Giannis Pappas, where we're seeking all instances of appropriation anything that we deem
to be appropriation we are advocating that those people be put in prison thank you for tuning in
to the anti-appropriation podcast with yannis pappas this is the last episode of me hosting
it because i'm straight white male and i am receding right now to a less offensive place, which is in the
coffin. Please kill me as an equalizer for past justices. Put me away. My individual story,
my individual ethnicity, my individual personality have nothing to do with who I am. I am a member of a group and that group has privileges.
Any people who don't look like me,
who are doing better than me,
smarter than me,
better looking than me,
of which there are almost all,
are outliers.
It has nothing to do with the system
or we just ignore that.
We just ignore that.
Okay?
That's what I do here.
Please put me in the coffin because it's the only just Okay. That's what I do here. Please put me in the coffin
because it's the only just place. It's what I deserve. Podcast is over.
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It's been a long day.