Yannis Pappas Hour - Professional Lying

Episode Date: August 27, 2022

It’s everyone’s favorite fake news show and this one is a goodie. Governor Desantis makes a commercial for himself because he’s the “Top Gov” (get it?) and we are the United States of Advert...ising and everyone is a walking brand making commercials for themselves. We’ve coated reality with filters and soundtracks and we’re all for sale. Whether it’s Donald Trump or the Top Gov, we are all communicating in commercials. Like LA, America is now a smoothie of stool & we’re living in a commercial for it. Long day, incoming!Sponsors Manscaped https://www.manscaped.comPromo: fumesWeekly Bonus episode: https://www.patreon.com/yannilongdays?utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator#comedy #podcast #news #satire Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 Guys, welcome to Long Days. Before we get started, I want to tell you about my live dates right now where you can come see some live stand-up comedy. See your boy Yanni September 9th and 10th at Uncle Vinny's in Point Pleasant, New Jersey. One of the nights is sold out. There's still tickets for the other one. See you down there at the Jersey Shore. Then we'll be in Pottstown, PA at Soul Joel's Comedy Dome September 24th. So get your tickets. We'll also be at Grand Rapids Comedy Club at Creston Brewery in Grand Rapids, Michigan. That'll be October 13th through the 15th. Then November 11th and 12th, I will be at the Vulcan Gas Company in Austin, Texas, November 11th and 12th.
Starting point is 00:00:41 Get all your tickets at yannispappascomedy.com. Also, Patreon, patreon.com slash yannilongdays. Go enjoy those bonus episodes every week. $5, you get the audio, you get the video. Those episodes are some of our funniest. And just become a member of the Fediverse. If you're a Fedophile, then the Fediverse is for you. See you over there at Patreon.
Starting point is 00:01:03 pedophile, then the Fediverse is for you. See you over there at Patreon. Welcome to Long Days with Giannis Pappas, the only true source of information that is out there in the universe, not just the globe. I can make that claim because there's nobody around to dispute it. If they do come, oh, then whatever. I'll still argue it, because why not? My perspective is truth. Welcome to 2022, where my interest is what it is. This is an undeniable truth. This is an objective fact, as objective as it gets. Paul Pelosi's got to spend five days in prison.
Starting point is 00:01:42 That's funny. Guy's in his 70s, he got a dewey, and he's got to spend five days in prison. That's funny. Guy's in his 70s. He got a dewey and he's got to spend five days in prison walking into the bullpen. Please turn the cameras on. I want to see how much they charge him for a cigarette. Imagine you're Paul Pelosi. You got to get your
Starting point is 00:02:00 laces taken before you go in. That's fun. You go from a multi-millionaire power couple to just going, let me just take my Crocs for these five days because they're going to take my laces anyway. The kid wore his shower shoes into prison without a doubt, and they're probably Gucci.
Starting point is 00:02:19 Andrew Tate. Has there been a bigger rise and a bigger fall than Andrew Tate? What's next for Andrew Tate. Has there been a bigger rise and a bigger fall than Andrew Tate? What's next for Andrew Tate? Well, you can find him on Truth Social running for vice president in 2024. Because he joins the prestigious group of being banned across all platforms. It's Donald Trump and Andrew Tate. And they're kind of the same personality. So if you need a running mate, my friend, it and Andrew Tate And they're kind of the same personality So if you need a running mate my friend It's Andrew Tate
Starting point is 00:02:49 And I'm talking to you big ol' orange guy TikTok how much do they know about you? How much are they tracking you? You guessed it It's a lot It's a lot Like Rick Glassman It's a lot
Starting point is 00:03:03 Ben and Jerry's lot. Like Rick Glassman, it's a lot. Ben and Jerry's has lost their suit and they still got to provide ice cream to kids in Israel. Boo fucking hoo. I guess the conflict will go on. Sorry, you goddamn Vermont berry pickers. Seems like your ice cream is still going to
Starting point is 00:03:23 be part of the conflict. You can't do anything about it. Kansas. Bleeding Kansas. And what I mean by bleeding Kansas is women who get their periods are going to be able to cancel when they don't get them. So on the months that you don't bleed,
Starting point is 00:03:41 guess what? You got the option to continue to bleed. Wow. Referendum goes to the people You got the option to continue to bleed. Wow. Referendum goes to the people. That's what they decided to do. True. Truest form of democracy, right? Votes to the people.
Starting point is 00:03:54 And the people in a referendum said, we want to keep our right to choose. Well, Kansas, I'm talking to you from New York State, New York City. You're now our sister city. Wow. Kansas. Who would have thought that?
Starting point is 00:04:12 LA drought restrictions. Guess who broke their drought restrictions? Kim Kardashian, Kevin Hart, and here's a weird one, Sly Stallone. Sly Stallone. They all were found to have broken the drought restrictions of Los Angeles. What is a drought restriction? It means, hey, you can only shower this amount because water is in low demand, basically. LA is a weird place.
Starting point is 00:04:43 It's the most ostentatious, opulent place, but it's also the most precarious. It's like the third world and the first world at the same time. You got an underclass of, like, Mexican workers, and then you got, like, multi-millionaires who are oblivious, living in Beverly Hills. You got no water. You're built on a fault line.
Starting point is 00:05:02 There's wildfires happening every place. It is an all-in-one. It's a smoothie of shit. Twitter. There's a whistleblower at Twitter that says there's some security concerns. The former security chief or whoever he was at Twitter has come out and said
Starting point is 00:05:19 there's some serious, serious, serious security proclivities. And Tesla's owner, Elon Musk, texted him with a thumbs up. We got a lot to talk about this week, including the migrant dump. The migrant dump that Texas is now performing on New York and Washington, D.C. They get migrants who come across the border who are not legal or naturalized get to continue their travels across state lines on a bus to New York and D.C. And so the Mexican population of Washington, D.C.
Starting point is 00:06:11 is plus a couple thousand right now. So we will talk about that. It's a gift. They're just getting a gift. They're not even asking for anything in return. So unlike Brittany Griner, who's getting dealt possibly for an arms dealer, we're just getting 7,000 Mexicans right now. I mean, you don't really feel it until you go to Home Depot and there's a few spots that aren't
Starting point is 00:06:37 available because there's people standing there online. And that's the only time you really feel it. I mean, that Home Depot parking lot right now looks like my lawn on a Wednesday. And my lawn on a Wednesday, which is definitely my landscaping day, definitely looks like Santa someplace in Mexico. Rio Grande. It looks like the Rio Grande. My lawn on Wednesday looks like the Rio Grande on the Texas border. This is Long Days, and let's just hop on in like a little bunny
Starting point is 00:07:08 and get to what the dull is. I want to start fun today. I want to start fun. We'll get to some of those stories that we mentioned in our cold open for this show, for this broken down modern 2022 show in 2022 it's either one minute real you have a minute to get people's attention you're watching a minute show or you're listening to a four-hour show it's extremes like everything else, like everything else from A to Z, every facet of society of the human condition in the tech era. It's either this or that. There's everything in between from two to nine is gone. It's one or 10. You're either at one at a snail's pace like a turtle
Starting point is 00:08:26 or you are like a whippet dog just fucking sprinting around a dog park going, put me on a track. This is too slow for me. There's no middle ground. That's all we're doing right now. We're doing four hour, Joe Rogan sitting down with one of the most boring,
Starting point is 00:08:44 boring professors you could, he goes and he finds like some professor who has a specialty in in stars for four hours and by stars i don't mean the things in la i'm talking about the things in the sky he's like let's talk to this astronomer for four hours or you're watching Andrew Tate talk about how he's the top G for 46 seconds. And that's it. That's it. There's no in between. And in this era, in this era, you got to go either a zero, you got to go a hundred. Okay. You got to go a hundred miles an hour. If you're a politician, you got to go a hundred. That means your looks have to be fucking top notch or you, or your personality's got to be way out there, way out there to get attention. You got to do way out there stuff.
Starting point is 00:09:30 You got to go to the Met Gala. You got to have a dress that says tax the rich. I mean, you know, it's a carnival. It's an absolute circus that we're living in. I mean, a congresswoman. A congresswoman showing up to the Met Gala in a tax-the-rich dress. A governor in Florida making a Top Gun commercial. Using Top Gun as his commercial. Ron DeSantis just decided.
Starting point is 00:10:02 He sat down with his social media people. He sat down with his social media people. He sat down with his social media team. Every politician probably now has a social media team, right? They got a guy making clips. They got the whole thing. They got a guy transcribing the words. They got a guy putting in the captions. You got a caption guy.
Starting point is 00:10:24 You got a clip guy. You got a clip guy. You got a team that handles TikTok across platforms. You got a guy who transforms it from portrait to landscape. You know? And they're all like, they're probably all like, you know, 20-year-old kids with phones. There's just a farm. There's a De desantis social media farm
Starting point is 00:10:45 somewhere probably in india right there's a lot of those farms those click farms come from india there's probably a lot of these politicians probably have their own like little offshore um social media farm you know where he's got to call a guy named Sing once a week and be like, hey, guy, you know, can we break it up into clips? Did you see my speech last night? Clip it. Clip. Break it up into clips and spray it out across platforms. And one of his guys was like, hey, man, we really need to.
Starting point is 00:11:22 We really need to put out a Top Gun commercial. So here is Ron DeSantis' Top Gun. Now, if you can watch this without feeling a little queeze in your stomach, congratulations, you're a sociopath. Because this gives you the queezies. It's called Top Goov, by the way. And it's Ron DeSantis as Tom Cruise in sunglasses and a bomber jacket.
Starting point is 00:11:54 And here we go. Action! At Freedom Headquarters. Good morning, ladies and gentlemen. This is your governor speaking. Today's training evolution, dogfight, taking on the corporate media. The rules of engagement are as follows. Number one, don't fire unless fired upon, but when they fire, you fire back with overwhelming
Starting point is 00:12:18 force. Does it say that in the bill? I'm asking you to tell me what's in the bill. Number two, never ever back down from a fight. If I could complete the question, though. So are you going to give a speech or ask a question? Number three, don't accept their narrative. It's wrong. It's a fake narrative.
Starting point is 00:12:36 I just disabused you of the narrative, and you don't care about the fact. It's why people don't trust people like you, because you peddle false narratives. All right, ladies and gentlemen. What's gentlemen? It's why people don't trust people like you because you peddle false narratives. All right, ladies and gentlemen. What's Jonathan doing? It's a kid. There he is with his son. Welcome back, folks. Welcome back.
Starting point is 00:12:56 Welcome back. Welcome back. Welcome back to the Long Days Podcast. This is how I'm going to do the entire fucking episode because this is how you connect to the people in 2022 you got to really treat them like you're trying to communicate with with a with an autistic kid just a lot of sounds a lot of movements and a lot of visuals a lot of out there visuals. Right now I am inside Evil Lavia and I got my shades on. If this isn't holding your attention, I don't know what is.
Starting point is 00:13:31 Can someone punch me while I talk? This podcast will be me doing this the whole time from now on while I have shades on, while somebody is kicking me in the head repeatedly. Actually, I'll just use it as her by mouth i'll just talk out of eve olivia's lips because that's what you got to do now nothing is below nothing is below nothing is a low-hanging fruit for politicians these days they're going all out dog um as a rejoinder if you don't know that word as a rejoinder not to be outdone
Starting point is 00:14:12 not to be outdone um our governor karen whatever is going to be releasing a um releasing a trailer from she's gonna be releasing a trailer from the movie what's the movie god damn it the with the snm 50 shades she's gonna be releasing her own trailer from 50 shades of gay bill support 50 shades of we're against the don't say gay bill she'll be releasing that trailer and then i think every governor will follow suit and release their own movie trailer spoof you can't you can't add comedy to comedy right now if someone put this on i would i would have thought it was a digital short from snl i would say that's a digital short from snl but lo and behold no it is a uh it was done earnestly by governor desantis you know otherwise pretty smart guy went to harvard went to yale all that
Starting point is 00:15:20 stuff was a baseball player i think he was he's a military veteran um there used to be a time where a governor would go i'm not what are you crazy some you know some 19 year old from a social media team will come hey gov movie's real hot right now you know what you know what rhymes with you know what kind of sounds like gun gov top gov who's at the top Gov? You're the Top Gov. But this is, I don't know. Is this how you communicate with people right now? Is this how you do it? I mean, Andrew Tate, this is a governor in Florida. What's the difference, right?
Starting point is 00:15:56 What's the difference? Is there any way to differentiate between a real boxer and and um and um jake paul is there a way to differentiate between me uh a comedian and um i've just held my tongue i'm just not gonna gonna, there's no need to, there's no need. But you know what I'm saying? Is there any way to differentiate between who's what? What is what? Who is, is there any way? Is there any, is everyone just everything and doing the same thing,
Starting point is 00:16:38 utilizing the same methods to communicate now? Is anyone doing anything with integrity? God damn it. That's my question. Does anyone have any fucking blithering and integrity anymore? Is there an ounce of integrity left in this goddamn country? Can, does anyone know how to say no anymore?
Starting point is 00:17:00 Can someone say no? Can someone besides Tiger Woods say no? By the way, it was brought to my attention that we spent a whole episode saying it was $700 billion, like three fucking morons. Jared Harvick, Jesse Scaturo, Giannis Pappas, three fucking morons, which is what this podcast could also be called, that we actually sat there believing what we saw. And it wasn't our fault.
Starting point is 00:17:30 It was whatever article we were reading said that he turned down $700 billion to not play in those tournaments in Saudi Arabia. And I got to give credit where credit's due. It was actually Joe Rogan. We were texting and I said, the guy where credit's due. It was actually Joe Rogan. We were texting, and I said, the guy turned down $700 billion to go play in those tournaments, and he went, $700 billion?
Starting point is 00:17:55 He goes, it was $700 million, and I actually went and Googled it on my phone to double-check because it still didn't register that if he was getting 700 billion he'd be the richest athlete of all time by an astronomical by an amount that's hard to even conceive to give someone 700 billion dollars and then i saw that it was 700 million i went you're right i'm a moron. And he just went, LOL. But how come the three of us just did that whole segment?
Starting point is 00:18:28 This was like two episodes ago or something? Yeah. And you still have a shocked look in your face. I'm pretty sure I said million because you were doing the thousand bit.
Starting point is 00:18:35 You were like, yo, for 700,000, I'd leave my wife and they're offering a million. I kept on correcting you. I said million. Well, you probably did. But at some point, most of the segment
Starting point is 00:18:42 was dedicated to billion. Yeah, well, billion. That's not a logical number. Billion is what Dr. Evil requests when he does something. Yeah, that's like $700 billion. Yeah, we spent the whole time just going, this guy turned down $700 billion. Which lets you know this podcast is good at business. Didn't even cross my mind.
Starting point is 00:19:08 It didn't even cross my mind. It didn't even cross my mind. I'm just being honest with you. If you want to know how stupid I am, it didn't even cross my mind that the number 700 billion was ridiculous, inconceivable, and laughable. It didn't even cross my mind. I'm going like a good guy.
Starting point is 00:19:21 I guess 700 bell. Didn't even cross my mind. Never. But 700 million is still crazy. 700 million is still crazy. So the point still holds. But it does bear pointing out that we spent the whole segment calling it 700 to 800 billion.
Starting point is 00:19:41 I mean, you know. That's higher than most countries' GDPp dude and it just oh yeah exactly and it just points out how easy it is to get things wrong with the amount of information because we were reading it off a screen whatever we were reading had made the mistake and put it 700 billion so you know you're looking at countries' GDPs. It's so easy nowadays to just like get it so wrong. Like, you know, there's like, you know, thousands and thousands and thousands of people out there
Starting point is 00:20:16 who won't read that article, didn't know anything about the tournaments in Saudi Arabia, but who listened to this podcast, who are now walking around going, Tiger Woods turned down $700 billion. Somebody went into a party and was trying to be like, say my point, going like, hey, man, look, all right, he cheated on his wife, but he's not that bad a guy. He turned down $700 billion to go play in a tournament in Saudi Arabia. And somebody else is going, wow, he did turn down $700 billion.
Starting point is 00:20:43 And it's just out there right now and then Joe Rogan's in the back like that's not accurate but I could tell you about grizzly bears yeah I could tell you about grizzly bears and I could I could I could tell you about the real number I got from Spotify which ain't a hundred mil yeah it's a lot more than that yeah 700 billion is the amount of money that we gave to Ukraine yeah it's it's exactly right so whatever article we were reading probably mixed up the uh the amount that we give in aid to Ukraine with what Tiger Woods was going to be paid to hit a ball into a grass hole. Guys, we are brought to you by Manscaped.
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Starting point is 00:23:39 And put the promo code in FUMES right now. 20% off. Get yourself the travel bag, all the goodies, and you become the barber of your own balls. I remember I got into this long, drawn-out fight with someone on Facebook about Novak Djokovic. Boomer. Yeah, real boomer that happened on Facebook.
Starting point is 00:23:58 It was about Novak Djokovic. There was this article out about Novak Djokovic. was this article out about Novak Djokovic. It was during this Simone Biles and Naomi Osaka mental health thing. Yeah. And there was this just misinformation out there about Novak Djokovic doing something bad, saying something bad about Naomi Osaka or something. And it was just absolutely incorrect. And I was like going to bat and like giving him the facts. But the guy had already made his argument. It was a funny thing.
Starting point is 00:24:36 And it was somebody I knew. I guess we're not friends anymore after that. We were never really friends. But I was giving him what the truth was. But he had already made his facebook post he had already like released his ire at novak djokovic and was turning it into this this big thing yeah and i was going like it's not that's not right here it is novak djokovic wasn't referring to simone biles when he said this is what is press pressure is a privilege,
Starting point is 00:25:05 right? So what happened was at some point he said, pressure is a privilege, right? And it was around the time that the Simone Biles thing was happening, where she pulled out of the Olympics because of her, the twisties, right? The mental health struggles. And someone just took, because Naomi Osaka went through something similar. Someone took the Novak Djokovic quote and just put it into that story. Like, but it had nothing to do with it. And then like, there was all these articles. So what happened was, it was a meme.
Starting point is 00:25:36 A lot of people get their news from memes. It was a meme shared that claimed Djokovic criticized Biles' withdrawal from the events where he said pressure is a privilege. So someone made a meme about Simone Biles and put Novak Djokovic's quote on there. So the person who made the meme was trying to give their thought on what it was.
Starting point is 00:25:58 They were saying, my opinion is, Simone Biles, you shouldn't be doing this because pressure is a privilege. They took Novak's quote and put it in there, and then people were mad at Novak Djokovic. opinion is Simone Biles you shouldn't be doing this because pressure is a privilege they took Novak's quote and put it in there and then people were mad at Novak Djokovic that is 2022 right now you have to be a forensic investigator to not have people want to come fucking blow up your house because something got happened where someone put your face on a meme and now all of a sudden you're getting death threats going like why do you hate simone biles you're going you're just waking up you haven't even had your eggs yet and you're going what are
Starting point is 00:26:33 you talking about and then you have to like use you got to be a forensic investigator to backtrack and find out how this lie started yeah yeah i didn't I didn't say that. I didn't say that. What are you talking about? I said that about this other thing and I said that four years ago. Yeah. Djokovic needs his MLA.
Starting point is 00:26:51 What does that mean? Someone needs to cite it properly. Oh yeah. But that's that's what it is and so I guess that's why we have now everyone sort of
Starting point is 00:27:00 communicating in soundbites communicating with grand histrionics. Get smarter if you don't know it. Just, you know, everyone's just, you're pulling up more. Yeah, Novak Djokovic. This is from the Metro News.
Starting point is 00:27:20 Oh, and here it is. It makes the news. What do they say here? So. It makes the news. What do they say here? So it's in the news. Novak Djokovic believes pressure is a privilege after Simone Biles' withdrawal from two Olympic events this week due to concerns over his mental health. The USA's most successful gymnast, Djokovic, meanwhile,
Starting point is 00:27:38 is attempting to become blah, blah, blah. Keep going. When asked about Biles raising the issue of mental health in sports and the pressure he is currently facing as he attempts to win the Grand Slam, Djokovic replied, Presser's a privilege, my friend. Without pressure, there is no... If you are aiming to be at the top, all that buzz,
Starting point is 00:27:54 I have felt that the... I've gotten to the bottom of this already, but now this article is pulling us into it because this article is incorrect. I've already gone through this because I went and we would have to spend 10 minutes now to backtrack
Starting point is 00:28:09 to find out how that wasn't what he said. Yeah. It says Joe Ocobatch called her a nigga. This is, and they didn't correct it. It's still there in the Metro dot, the Metro whatever in UK. It's still there in the Metro dot, the Metro whatever in UK.
Starting point is 00:28:26 It's still, now go back to the, he didn't say that. Because now we got to finish it. Even though people don't care about this anymore. Okay, here's the fact check. In USA Today. Amid talk about athletes' mental health at the Tokyo Olympics,
Starting point is 00:28:46 some people are making comparisons between Serbian tennis stars,ak djokovic and simone bowles blah blah blah blah a wildly shared meme prestige and privilege there's no professional sport blah blah blah has been shared keep going the august facebook post hints at hypocrisy we got that while it's true that novak said this his remarks and the ensuing happenings are misrepresented here. He was talking about his own experience and he pulled out of the mixed doubles match citing injuries.
Starting point is 00:29:17 So there you go. There you go. Reuters brought up Biles in passing when he asked Djokovic about the pressure of attempting to earn a Golden Slam for major tenants and the Olympic gold medal in the same year. Novak, you would have heard about Simone Biles yesterday
Starting point is 00:29:36 talking about mental health and its pressure performing. You're in the position going for the, so now it turns to him. You're in the position going for the Gold Slam. You know, there is no more pressure on a tennis player than you're currently, than you currently. Keep going. No, you're going too fast.
Starting point is 00:29:51 You're going too fast. Than you, than you currently. There's no more pressure on a tennis player than you currently. Can you speak about a bit about that? Right. So here I'm asking you about the pressure you're experiencing, right? That is so
Starting point is 00:30:08 clear. That is so clear that the setup question was you're facing all this pressure. He prefaced it with the Simone Biles. He goes, you know, it's in the news a lot. Simone Biles just talked about this thing. You have all this pressure coming on you because of blah blah blah blah blah and blah blah blah blah and all this expectation expectations and so then he says what he says pressure is a privilege referring to himself yeah and people just went and took that and ran with it baby flipped it on them they flipped it on him who was asked this question the louisville police department yeah no but i mean the person who was asking didn't even, probably wasn't even planning on this controversy. They just used Simone Biles to preface how much pressure athletes face,
Starting point is 00:30:52 and he gave his opinion on what he felt about pressure. Yeah, even if he did say that, how much can I care about that from a man who moans when he hits a ball? You can't care too much about it. Yeah. You can't care too much, although I Yeah. You can't care too much. Although I think technically he's pretty silent. It's Nadal who likes to moan.
Starting point is 00:31:09 That shouldn't be legal. I mean, you don't, it doesn't take that much to hit the tennis ball that you're going, argh, argh. You don't hear baseball players when they hit the ball go, argh, argh.
Starting point is 00:31:21 And that requires a lot more strength to hit a baseball than it does a tennis. Like, the moan, I don't know what that is. It's like, I think you're trying to distract the other guy, but this isn't the first time Djokovic has said pressure is a privilege. He made the same comment in his September 2020 interview. So this is his stats on it, citing tennis icon Billie Jean King.
Starting point is 00:31:41 So this is his stance on it. Citing tennis icon, Billie Jean King. Billie Jean King, whose autobiography is titled, Pressure is a Privilege. Novak said he stands by that kind of quote. So he took, again, a feminist icon, Billie Jean King, and the title of her book, Pressure is a Privilege, he took that quote and he said he agrees with it, right?
Starting point is 00:32:12 And now somehow that's a bad thing to say pressure is a privilege because of what Simone Biles was going through because she withdrew. So that is, the reason why I think it's good to go into detail about this right now is because this is sort of a microcosmic example of how we get our news i mean that's what this show is this show is a spoof on what's going on right you know it's like even uh what's his name who just got released from cnn oh seth settler brian settler whatever his name is yeah brian seltzer like whatever his name is. Brian Seltzer. Brian Seltzer. Like, everyone was focused on him. You know what I mean? It was like, news should be news, and the person delivering it should be a conduit for the news,
Starting point is 00:32:57 not so much a personality that you know about and care about whether he has his job or not. Yeah. No one's going to ask what their Amazon driver thinks about the Gaza Strip. It's like now people who are on the right are celebrating the firing of Brian Stelter. Why? Because Brian Stelter was giving his opinion all the time. News programs now are just people pandering to their base, giving their opinion.
Starting point is 00:33:26 It's not news. That's not news. News is in the ratings business now, and they do what marketers do. Politicians are doing what advertising. It is truly right now the United States of advertising, where everyone is acting like a brand and promoting themselves with the marketing strategies that brands use. I think we got the title of our app right there.
Starting point is 00:33:51 Right there. And one of the lowest, lowest, lowest, I mean, down, dirty, and lowest manipulation tactics that is utilized is the marrying of a powerful emotion with the product. And people never even make the connection. They never go, oh my God, what does a woman canoeing have to do with herpes medication? And you're going, what does a woman canoeing have to do with herpes medication? And you're going, it has nothing to do with it. What they're doing is they're showing you the herpes medication and they're showing you something you feel great about. So then you, because we're all suggestible, right?
Starting point is 00:34:38 We're all not as smart as we think. We subconsciously, subliminally go, oh, it's good good that product is good because i i i subconsciously connected that positive emotion with that product yeah it doesn't even make people suspicious it should make you suspicious you should be watching that herpes medication commercial going why the fuck is she in a canoe yeah i'll tell you why she's in a canoe because it's fun it's fun the less the commercial has to do with the product the more fucking suspicious you should be if you turn on a if you turn on a commercial and a guy is getting a blow job while a dog is
Starting point is 00:35:18 sitting next to him and he's petting the dog and then it says subwayway? Eat fresh? You should go, wait a second. You're trying to manipulate me, aren't you? Yes, I am. Yes, I am. If you see a governor put out a commercial where he's replicating a movie that unanimously is loved right now,
Starting point is 00:35:42 you should go, wait a second. You're manipulating me, aren't you? Yes, I'm making a commercial for me. And commercials work. The thing is, people think they're smarter than... People don't think they work. People don't think they work. That's the thing.
Starting point is 00:35:55 A lot of people, you ask people, they go, I don't even know why they do it. Most people go, I don't even know why they do it. I get what I want. I buy what I... Do ya? Do ya? Is that why I posted a video on Tik TOK, uh, criticizing
Starting point is 00:36:07 Kanye's people, tire fucking shoes that go for $900. And people in the comments got angry at me and called me old, which by the way, is not a slur. It just means I'm smarter and wiser and more experienced than you. And also me and Kanye are the same exact age, by the way. But that's why people were mad. People go, you don't know what the fuck you're talking about. You're going, you've been fucking brainwashed. That is an objectively horrific looking shoe. If I saw a fucking, if I saw a Komodo dragon wearing those,
Starting point is 00:36:42 they still wouldn't look good. They look like the shoes that the same people in Star Wars would wear. They are horrible. That's a good one, yes. It looks like people tires. It looks like people tires. Look at those shits. They're fucking hideous.
Starting point is 00:36:54 They're objectively hideous. But people are like defending them and buying them and paying a shit ton, even though they probably cost 99 cents to be made. And of course, you're going to say, Jordans don't cost a lot, whatever. Jordans are objectively fly. Those are dope.
Starting point is 00:37:10 You know, these are not. These are not. And you will see, they will not stand the test of time the way Rod Lavers have, the way Air Max 95s have. They won't stand the test of time. I guarantee you these go in and they go out. Just like Kanye's sanity. In kanye sanity in and out in and out yeah because they're objectively horrific but that's the reason people got mad at me because they're victims of like marketing they're victims of like
Starting point is 00:37:35 oh celebrity why do you think they're why do you think sprite has basketball player why do you think they do that so you affiliate the successes of the athlete with the drink. What the fuck does LeBron James have to do with a drink? He's got nothing to do with a drink. In fact, that is the opposite. He's the worst spokesperson for Sprite because he's the person least likely to use the product. These people got it in their contract
Starting point is 00:38:01 that they can't drink soft drinks. Do you understand? He is a fucking multi, multi, multi, multi, multi-million dollar investment by a team that says, hey, dude, you can't ride a motorcycle. You have to have a shaft. We need you in tip-top shape. We're spending a lot of money to employ you.
Starting point is 00:38:18 Your health is paramount. And here is LeBron going, want a Sprite? You go to LeBron's house right now, the only thing he can offer you is a fucking Jared Harvin-approved carrot juice. Yeah. The kid spends a million dollars on his body. He's never hurt.
Starting point is 00:38:36 Do you think it's because he's drinking high-fructose corn syrup? He's not. You know who is? You. You fat, easily manipulated loser who's sitting on the couch playing video games Who's fucking forming blood clots right now in your legs because you're not moving and you want to be like LeBron and
Starting point is 00:38:54 That's a lie. Yeah Do I blame LeBron? No, he took his multi-million dollar check from sprite and do what you got to do Do what you got to do. It's price not gonna make you better at basketball Can't do no hook shot. Not gonna have any fingers to do so. There's very few things on this planet
Starting point is 00:39:11 as bad for you as sodas in their current form. That's why you gotta get yourself a Brooklyn Cannery at brooklyncannery.com. Yes. As I was talking about
Starting point is 00:39:19 blood clots forming in the legs, my toes went numb. That is a true story. Now, because I have horrible circulation, my diet's horrible. Only thing worse than soda is advertising. Advertising is bad for your health, man.
Starting point is 00:39:32 Certain things shouldn't be true. If you see Gavin Newsom release a commercial called White Man Can't Trump, run. You know, you go to a pizza shop and it says, voted number one pizza in America. You go, they wouldn't lie to you on the sign, would they? Advertising is professional lying. It's professional lying.
Starting point is 00:39:53 It's what it is. They lie. And the most effective tactic, and when did that start? Was it the Marlboro Man where they started trying to evoke emotion? When did that kind of maudlin kind of, you know, you hear the little jingle and you see the you see the klondike the klonsdale i can't i still can't and you see the klonsdale horse running when did that start where they figured out that like it's that effective it would make sense with the
Starting point is 00:40:18 cigarettes right because they had to put the the surgeon general advisory on it right so like but that came later oh it came later that came later. Oh, it came later? That came later. Okay. I know the Marlboro Man was a monumental moment in advertising. And I don't know if that was, I don't think that really represents the latest incarnation that we're talking about, the latest trend.
Starting point is 00:40:36 Yeah. This sort of emotional, they tug at your heartstrings type of thing. The tugging on your heartstrings type of thing is like, it's the most popular type of advertising now. It's like, eat fresh it's like this they want you to feel good they want to get you to they want to make you feel good about something that's very positive and you affiliate it with your product like top gun and governor desantis a governor well they identify trends and then they so they see what young people are into and
Starting point is 00:41:06 then they try and serve it back up to them right so right now you so you're hearing that from a from an ad guy right we still got to get a check here and there so um that's exactly right right so right now kids are into social justice right so they they spit that right back at you right so you'll see those commercials do you remember that commercial with one of the kardashians in the protest group holding a pepsi i mean there was it was yeah it was that was so over the top that every it was transparent for everybody everyone made fun of it but that's because it was so over the top which lets you know how far they're willing to go, right? Like they let you see the strings there.
Starting point is 00:41:48 So they fucked up because they went too hard because she handed a Pepsi to the cop and they all just started dancing or something like that. That's when they went too far. But if you do it right, like if you do it just right, like if you do it like the Ukraine cereal cereal boxes like you do it just right unless you have someone here like jesse to let you know what the meeting was like for that people just think that was organically done out of the goodness of the heart the kids were like we want to do this and we want to use a kellogg's box they think that you know that's not how it works kellogg's contacts some schools right and they go hey we got, we're trying to do this great, we're trying to do some good.
Starting point is 00:42:26 And then the teachers are like, yeah, Pete, they're doing good. They're going to come, yeah. They're going to give us this grant of this amount of money. And Kellogg's goes, we're going to give you that grant. Because in their mind, that fucking grant is 100% worth it for what they get in return, which is a free advertisement. If they wanted to do that advertisement on TV, they would have to pay fucking what?
Starting point is 00:42:47 $500,000 for 30 seconds? But if you get a bunch of dumb Chicago suburban kids to put a bunch of goddamn Kellogg's boxes together for Ukraine, every stupid fucking media outlet will pick it up and it'll be all over the goddamn digital landscape for $1,000 in a grant for computers for underprivileged kids. It's all it costs, which is actually a tax write-off, and that's why they do that. Is anything I'm saying wrong? Not one fucking thing.
Starting point is 00:43:17 You're hitting it on the head. You're hitting it on the head. That Kendall Jenner shit was brutal, though, right? With the Pepsi? Yeah. That was bad. If Ben and Jerry's can't stop the war in the Gaza, you're not going to break up a Pepsi, a ride with a Pepsi.
Starting point is 00:43:28 Thank you for bringing that up. Ben and Jerry. First of all, I didn't know. Are they still alive? I thought one of them had a heart attack from eating his own ice cream. I think there's some truth to that. One of them had a heart attack. I didn't know they were both still alive.
Starting point is 00:43:40 But Ben and Jerry, if you're listening, here's my deal. Why instead of trying to stop the sale of your ice cream in the gaza strip why not make a commercial make a commercial where you ben and jerry are they're in a canoe and they're just rowing and there's palestinian refugees just not even you don't even put yourself in the commercial just a couple of palestinian kids just rowing, dog, over some good music. Just give it a good TikTok track. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:44:11 Put it on there. And then at the end, just go, Ben and Jerry's. Ben and Jerry's. Against the war. Damage to Vermont Vermont based companies reputation of license and sales in occupied
Starting point is 00:44:27 Palestinian territories too speculative we covered it last time so we're not going to get into it but you know I think a a freezer full of Ben and Jerry's ice cream
Starting point is 00:44:37 call me crazy isn't going to have a sway either way you leave the Ben and Jerry's at least kids can get some fucking ice cream If you take it out In fact I think they're just gonna be even more pissed
Starting point is 00:44:48 I mean look They're living under occupation and shit Can they at least have some Chunky Monkey You're actually helping by selling it there Alright I get it It's Israel It's Israel licensed the deal
Starting point is 00:45:00 But they're doing it anyway Might as well put some fucking ice cream in there That's like a That's like a band-aid company or like a hospital who's going there that Israel puts in the strip going like, we're not going there. They're not going to have a hospital.
Starting point is 00:45:13 What do you want? It's not going to change it. Look, Ben and Jerry's, if you pull out, Benjamin and Harry will open their own shit. Someone will fill the void. It'll be a shaved ice stand. Yeah, it'll just be a cow with a yarmulke on it. The emblem will be that cow, and that cow will just be like this,
Starting point is 00:45:32 with a yammy on. So ice cream will be sold. There's obviously a market there. People have money. They want to eat ice cream. Anyway, we're piggybacking off last episode, but it bears repeating a little bit, because this is an interesting topic.
Starting point is 00:45:48 And it ties us into Andrew Tate, who's essentially doing the same thing as Governor DeSantis. Making content. He's building his brand. Who is Andrew Tate? I had never heard of this dude until a couple of weeks ago. Is it because I'm old
Starting point is 00:46:10 or is it just because I'm not spending a ridiculous time on TikTok scrolling around being told that I need to become a top G2 by going to Hustler University? So I looked into this guy. He's very much like Trump. Now Trump is a creation of Hollywood.
Starting point is 00:46:26 Like we said, we're piggybacking off a lot of previous episodes, but he's also a creation of the social media era. He was the first president to get elected online. Online ads, local grassroots advertising, misinformation. It happened. You know, you can say what you want. Those things happen. I get it.
Starting point is 00:46:48 That also happens as well. Okay, but I'm just saying they use that as their strategy. You know, the people in his camp, the Bannons, the people like this had built social media stuff, right? The Breitbarts, they had built that. They knew the power of it. Obama got elected on tv during the debates trump also did well in the debates because he was i mean he was basically
Starting point is 00:47:11 debating the most boring person of all time i mean yeah there was collusion it was between hillary clinton and her lack of charisma all right i just stole a joke from my old special but why not bears repeating itself it's all right I shot myself like Tom Segura. Yeah. Shot himself in the leg. I hope he presses charges against him. By the way, do guns kill people or people kill people? Well, sometimes people who don't know how to handle a gun hurt people. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:47:41 Hurt themselves. a gun kill hurt people yeah hurt themselves um this is it this is this is this is another iteration of a trump type star right everywhere very boisterous going against the grain saying politically incorrect stuff for the sake of kind of comedy but more entertainment you know you watch him it's like he's playing this character right and i don't you don't know what's real and what's not it's the same thing with trump you don't know what he means or what's not right by the way trump should have got sued for defamation for running around talking about how obama was uh kenyan muslim do you remember when he was when you remember when he was uh when he was selling that and that made him popular with the base yeah because everyone on that side hated obama so much they wanted to believe that he was the number one salesman that was the first thing
Starting point is 00:48:28 he was fucking selling people are selling you shit and look how riled up you are right now you're watching this and you're riled up you're fucking riled up you want to attack yanni you want to you want to fucking yanni you fucking dem. You want to attack just because I'm talking about your savior. Why is he your savior? Because it's been marketed to you as the savior. You really think Donald Trump, the person, gives a shit about anything at all besides Donald Trump? Then you got another thing coming. besides Donald Trump, then you got another thing coming.
Starting point is 00:49:06 Do you think Andrew Tate really gives a shit about you becoming the top G and bettering men to be masculine and how you got to put women on a leash or whatever the fuck he's saying? Do you think he really cares about that? Or do you think he really cares about Andrew Tate being bigger, more, having more money, being more famous? What do you think they care about? I'll tell you. They care about one thing a whole lot,
Starting point is 00:49:28 and here's the surpriser. They care about the other thing zero. Not 1%. This is how much Trump cares about what's happening at the border. Zero. Zero. You ever talk to someone who really cares
Starting point is 00:49:44 about what's happening at the border? They can't even get through the sentence. It's too complicated. They're going, well, they don't just go and go, there's a wall. You know? That's something we can understand. We can understand. You really want to talk about it.
Starting point is 00:50:01 It requires a little bit more than a fucking sound bite to talk about what's going on the border and solutions etc our border is unique it's not like other borders we're the best country in the world and right next door there's cartels cutting people's heads off because we want to buy the drugs and then we're selling them guns is all you know then you got border patrol guys who are getting slipped money by the drug cartels to funnel that it's a whole complicated thing it's a whole complicated fucking thing. It's a nightclub. And it's also like a massive border where it's like the best place on earth
Starting point is 00:50:30 is right next door to Mexico. A lot of those migrants aren't even from Mexico. They walk into Mexico because Mexico has a porous border below that. They come from other countries into Mexico to cross into ours. And then you got people who are hiring them for fucking low money because it's good for their bottom line. You know what I mean? There's And then you got people who are hiring them for fucking low money
Starting point is 00:50:45 because it's good for their bottom line. You know what I mean? There's a lot of capitalists who are going like, shut the fuck up. A lot of people who are having their house cleaned who are going, shut the fuck up. You know, there's that famous story somewhere in the South, maybe it was Arkansas or Mississippi or wherever,
Starting point is 00:51:00 where they made it illegal for undocumented workers to farm. There was a 60 Minutes about it. It's a go research it yourself person who's pissed off um where they stopped it so the political establishment there obviously based on the reactionary sentiment was like get all these illegals out they did it right and the farmers the farmers who many of which i'm sure supported it right yeah kind of like some of them but the other ones who had the the undocumented labor were like dude you don't you don't get this because what the what the 60 minutes was about was like the farming industry collapsed because they couldn't find anyone to do their job not for not the money withstanding
Starting point is 00:51:43 it was just like they couldn't find anyone who would work like that. Yeah. Who was willing to work that hard. They were like, Pedro's the only one that could reach those carrots. Dog. Have you ever seen Mexicans fucking out there doing their thing? Whether it be roofing or fucking farming or whatever they're doing dog.
Starting point is 00:51:58 It's like Kyrie handling. It's like Kyrie handling the ball. Yeah. You are absolutely. It's incredible. And so they had to like reverse it because ideas are one thing, reality is another. Reality is always very complicated, multifaceted,
Starting point is 00:52:16 and it's not, it doesn't tell a simple story. It's not fiction. Fiction tells a simple story. Fiction sells. People love stories. Nowiction tells a simple story. Fiction sells. People love stories. Now everything has become a story. Everyone is one dimensional. Everyone hides portions of their personality
Starting point is 00:52:33 and they become one thing. And the cancel culture and all that reinforces that too. Because it's like, I only gotta be this one good thing because if they find out I'm a three dimensional person and I have some imperfections, they may fucking take my livelihood. So this also reinforced be a brand be a brand be a brand so even our politicians now they say one thing they stick to it they're fucking cartoon characters you know when you think of aoc she's a cartoon character you can see and she's got
Starting point is 00:53:01 she's a piece but you see her out there just being a cartoon character sticking towing the line ever ever more increasingly extreme all the time to the point where criminals have to get rebranded now we have more sympathy for criminals in jail no matter what they've done then we do let's say lou.K., who made a couple of girls feel uncomfortable because he wanted us to take his dick out, which is not breaking the law. It's sleazy, depending, I don't know all the circumstances. But like he, there'll be protests if fucking he wanted to do anything, right? But if some guy who fucking held up a store,
Starting point is 00:53:43 held up a fucking store with a knife, we go like, we go sit there. First of all, we got to, he's a guest here at the prison. Second of all, we need to get into one of these socioeconomic factors that contributed to why he did what he did. I'll sit down with him, okay? Somehow the system is the problem.
Starting point is 00:53:59 Somehow this amorphous of an idea of privilege and society and all this shit and race and all these things get thrown in there where you're going like, hey, can we just, this is a guy. Why are you focusing on what he, all these other things? This is a guy. Whether he be white, brown, black, you know, the old, what's the old fucking cliche? White, brown, black, or yellow. I love how they throw yellow. You're like, who's yellow?
Starting point is 00:54:24 I don't know anyone who's like let's jaunt this dog if you're yellow go see a doctor yeah all right because even asians that was an old like racist thing they're not yellow you know they're more like whitey complexion yeah but no matter what you are like is that the salient feature of the story he's a guy he did a. But you get into all this, oh, poverty causes crime. Sometimes, yeah. For the most part, yeah.
Starting point is 00:54:50 It seems like that's who mostly does crime and why. But we're not dealing with that right now. We're dealing with a guy who robbed a store at knife point. Why are you more sympathetic to him than you are Louis C.K.?
Starting point is 00:55:02 Who pulled his dick out. By the way, seems like he asked. And by the way, some women fucking are into that. I mean, let's be honest. Some women are okay. Even Sarah Silverman said, yeah, let him do it. So what do you want from me? What do you want from me?
Starting point is 00:55:18 You know who is also defending him? Was Janine Garofalo. Can you get more left than Janine Garofalo? No. I mean, she's on the left side of funny. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:55:38 And she was defending him. Huh? Her stage notes look like a manifesto. I mean, really, it's like watching Unabomber do comedy. We're joking. We're joking. She's great. I love her, and she's very nice to me.
Starting point is 00:55:49 I'm just kidding. I'm just saying, you got to be into a particular thing. You got to be... Of course. Very talented actress. Very funny. Groundbreaking. Groundbreaking.
Starting point is 00:55:59 Yeah, big movie. Very funny. But my point is, she was very politically active. She was on, what, Air America? I mean, she's as left as it gets. I mean, she's very politically active she was on what is air america i mean she's as left as it gets you know i mean she's so left she didn't have kids that's pretty left you know that's kind of like a left-wing statement when you don't have kids like all women who vote right they're just like they want to have kids the left is like women's rights women equal pay all right good luck with that.
Starting point is 00:56:28 Good luck with trying to stay young forever. Good luck with trying to find fulfillment in your profession. That's a young Janine? Yeah, that's probably a little younger, but good luck with that. None of us, I don't find any,
Starting point is 00:56:40 I don't have fulfillment in my profession. You find fulfillment in your life, in your family. We're going wild this episode and i like it yeah i like it too you know jesse send me that picture but is there some truth to what i'm saying here you know it's like there's all this sympathy for you know even murderers and you got like There's all this sympathy for, you know, even murderers and shit. You got like Louis C.K.
Starting point is 00:57:08 I mean, it's like, guy didn't even break the law. Did what he do was bad? I guess, depending, I guess, to that person. I mean, from what I heard, they were giggling at the time. So I don't know, dog. He got caught up in the wave, you know. He got caught in the wave, but now the wave's over. So let's talk about it.
Starting point is 00:57:24 I mean, you know, he's a comedian. He took his dick his dick out i mean there's people who've done a lot worse sometimes people handle do you remember that guy whose store got robbed and he stabbed the guy or whatever yeah and it took it waited till they had to come out with footage where one of them other ones had a knife or something and then the guy went to jail for like defending himself against someone trying to assault him and rob his fucking store. You remember that? Yeah, it was a bodega. The guy came behind the counter
Starting point is 00:57:49 because apparently his EBT wasn't being accepted for his girl trying to buy chips and he was like, yo, what's the problem? He went behind and stabbed him
Starting point is 00:57:56 and he killed him, unfortunately. Right. But he got out like five days later. He did get fired up but there was like a lot of people were angry at him.
Starting point is 00:58:02 People were angry at him but once they saw the footage they were like, okay, he came behind and he was trying to rough him up with self-defense right yeah well the establishment said that but the public sentiment i think was partly like hey first of all ask him question why what like you know why would he want to become like what happened in his life yeah that would make him want to get so angry and come behind there's a lot of sympathy for criminals i mean it's just it's endless they're defending robbers. Like, hey, at least they told people to get down first. Yeah. I mean, look, he's a guy ass. I mean, look, I understand. I understand
Starting point is 00:58:30 that there's socioeconomic factors that contribute to crime and I understand all that, but this sort of over intellectualizing, this sort of, this trend to take ideas and ideals from the platonic realm and not apply them and try to apply them to the real world as if those two things ever really match up is what's destroying us across the board. It's destroying us across the board. It really is. It's like ideals and ideas have nothing to do with reality. They're two separate things.
Starting point is 00:59:07 They're two separate things. But it's this over-intellectualizing. It happens with comedy all the time too. You'll put a joke up and someone will go, I used to think this was funny before I realized it was transphobic. You're going, it's a joke. Don't you think you're putting a little bit too much fucking mental masturbation into a joke're going, it's a joke. Like, don't you think you're putting a little bit too much fucking mental masturbation
Starting point is 00:59:26 into a joke? Yeah. It's a joke. It is. It's a joke. Jokes by definition have bad things in them because that's why
Starting point is 00:59:36 they call them jokes. Nobody goes like, hey man, I'm kidding. Nobody goes, hey man, you're gorgeous to Brad Pitt
Starting point is 00:59:43 and then goes, I'm kidding. It's a true statement. You want to make a joke about Brad Pitt? You man, you're gorgeous to Brad Pitt. And then goes, I'm kidding. It's a true statement. You want to make a joke about Brad Pitt? You go, you're fucking ugly. And then people laugh because it's a joke. They know it's not true, right? You can't state facts.
Starting point is 00:59:55 You can't be nice and be funny. Who's nice and funny? Okay? Who's nice and funny? Trevor Noah? Yeah, but then when you watch a stand-up, you'll see he's got some targets. You have to have a target. You can't be nice and be funny.
Starting point is 01:00:08 Yeah. Even Jerry Seinfeld, the cleanest comedian in the world, he's going, who designed this? Who designed that? This soap thing. You're being a dick.
Starting point is 01:00:18 To the guy who designed that, you're being a dick. You'd be asking for an autograph and he'd tell you to kill yourself. Yeah, he's just not sophisticated enough to tell jokes that really have any meaning to them. Without Larry David. Who's a little more honest.
Starting point is 01:00:34 Right? He'll tell a joke about a soap thing, but then you see him in person, he'll say, don't look me in the eye. You're like, okay, sorry, Caesar. You know, but that's the type of comedy you want. Fucking two specials. I'm supposed to call this guy one of the greatest of all time.
Starting point is 01:00:52 Give me a fucking break. It's very funny, but I'm saying, I'm just saying what the Larry David show proved was it was mostly Larry David. I mean, what are we talking about? The comic strip special? I mean, he fucking was doing jokes from the 80s. He was like, guys, I rolled down my window the other day. You're going, you rolled down your window the other day?
Starting point is 01:01:12 In 2022, you rolled down your window? Took me 33 seconds to dial the phone. Yeah, I mean, okay, listen. Icon. I'm just saying icons get very comfortable. They get very comfortable. One of the funniest, obviously, I'm joking, right? And that's the funniest obviously i'm joking right and that's the point
Starting point is 01:01:27 i'm joking is that seinfeld's an icon he's very funny i've seen him crush he's very funny but i'm making jokes there's a little truth to them and that's how jokes happen there's a little truth but that's jokes you say things that aren't fully true you say things that are offensive you say things like you know nobody got in trouble and nobody laughs at things that are right nobody laughs when someone's helping a helping an old lady across the street that's not where laughter comes but laughter comes is if you're watching a tv show and someone pushes an old lady down the street and they know it's not real because it's that would be sad yeah but there's some humor to that when you know it's fake right you know it's fake that's what humor is we know it's fake but everyone's like fucking
Starting point is 01:02:09 throwing these academic ideals onto everything oh this one's less about the news and more of a long day this is more of a patreon anyway so we spent a lot of time on this desantis ad because it's cringeworthy It's very cringeworthy And there's not much else To say about that It's a fucking Cringeworthy thing Yeah
Starting point is 01:02:31 We were talking about Tate though Oh we got to Tate We did Yeah So tell me about Andrew Tate Yeah Who is Andrew Tate What has
Starting point is 01:02:39 What has your research Journalist Jared Harvin Given you So he was on a show in 2016, I believe, scroll up, Jesse. I forgot the show that he was on. King of Toxic. Basically, he was on a show in 2016.
Starting point is 01:02:56 He got X'd from the show because there was a video that popped out that he was abusing a woman with a belt. He made a claim that it was all, it was edited, this, this, and that. he was abusing a woman with a belt. He made a claim that it was all, it was edited, this, this, and that. And afterwards on Twitter, he was basically saying that some women have to take responsibility for when they get abused
Starting point is 01:03:11 because, you know, you gotta, you gotta. So he's essentially, he's doing like the Donald Trump thing. Yeah, he's doing the Donald Trump thing. He's doing the Donald Trump thing. But people are saying that he is a, he is a toxic man who's setting an example
Starting point is 01:03:22 for younger men to follow. So he's kind of very bad for them. Well, that's also ridiculous that they keep treating everyone like kids. Like people can't make decisions for themselves because they're watching Andrew Tate. Yeah. You know, Andrew Tate is not the problem. I think in some ways we got to start examining, you know, what the algorithm wants. Who's ingesting this too because he had 13 million
Starting point is 01:03:47 hits on his name from all his YouTube his Twitter tick tock everything like that so there's people who's consuming this right that they know that's wrong they've heard about it you see the means and I think they're so hungry for it now here's where I come in this is where the insight comes in with from Yanni and I'm right people are hungry for like some real funny, right? Some real talk, some real funny that they end up enjoying these absolute buffoons like him and Trump, because they're the only ones that go all the way. They go all the way. So if you starve people enough and keep throwing them this content and these comedy specials and these shows that people don't want and you take all of like
Starting point is 01:04:32 the real entertainment from them because of this whole cool thing now to try to act like a saint like you're you're better than everyone and you're purer than everyone. This whole puritanical zeitgeist that we're dealing with now where everyone's going, where'd you get those sneakers? Do you know about the Slay the Bird? It's because of that people end up, they get so starved, they end up embracing people like this as almost a little bit of a fuck you, as a little bit of a, and these people are doing this to fill a void because there's no void. There's a lack of diversity. Yeah, and these people are doing this to fill a void. Because there's no void.
Starting point is 01:05:05 There's a lack of diversity. Yeah, and most people won't go to this extent. Like, I won't go to this extent to get attention, right? Because I have integrity. But people like Andrew Tate and Donald Trump don't. So they will go to whatever extent to self-aggrandize. They'll say whatever to do whatever to make the crowd pop. Okay? When you watch Donald Trump perform at his rallies,
Starting point is 01:05:27 he ain't trying to be thorough and fair. He's trying to pop the crowd. Andrew Tate is trying to say the most shocking shit to pop the crowd in a reactionary way. So they're both very similar. Look, they even both form stupid universities. They both have their universities. They're warm-up comedians. I mean i mean yeah they're trying to pop the crowd they're local comedians yeah
Starting point is 01:05:52 they're local comedians popping the crowd with local references i mean it's funny you can see the similarities i mean they both have these universities they both have other people acting on their behest they They have these hardcore followers. They say these out randish things, these hasty generalizations. They pretend that they're being earnest, but really they're not like it's a little bit of an act, you know? They're very similar in that way. Big personalities, boisterous. I bet you if you got Donald Trump in a room alone, right? Just you and him, it would be a lot different. If you got Andrew Tate in a room alone, you and him,
Starting point is 01:06:30 it would be a lot different than what he portrays. They do it because it works. And the reason why it works is because people are starved. Why are they starved? Because all these tech companies and all of Hollywood has said, we don't do anything that's mean. Friends is on notice. The show Friends is on notice. Seinfeld's on notice. Everything's on notice. Game of Thrones on notice.
Starting point is 01:06:54 Everything's on notice. You do anything that may have any impurity in it, it's on notice. It's on notice. You're on notice. It's wrong. You find out anything about a person someone tweeted, Kevin Hart, you're on notice. For that tweet, you're on notice. Should he host the Oscars? We don't know. Maybe he's on notice It's wrong You find out anything About a person Someone tweeted Kevin Hart You're on notice For that tweet You're on notice
Starting point is 01:07:05 Should he host the Oscars We don't know Maybe he's on notice Louis CK took his dick out Something everyone In the comedy community Apparently knew about I didn't
Starting point is 01:07:13 But he did it And people thought It was kind of funny Or whatever Or inappropriate Or whatever You're on notice Elmo
Starting point is 01:07:18 All your things are gone Elmo Well Elmo He got accused You know Something illegal That's my point Is if you do something illegal Or you're accused of something illegal, that's something to look into.
Starting point is 01:07:29 If someone did something illegal, there's laws there for a reason. Morally wrong is different. Morally wrong is different, especially if there's some people who are in it. Unless it's especially a gray zone, like taking your dick out. If you ask a girl, mind if I take my dick out and masturbate? That's a grounds. I know some people who like to get hit when they have sex. Yeah, that's okay.
Starting point is 01:07:44 I chip my nails. I mean,? That's a grounds... I know some people who like to get hit when they have sex. Yeah, that's okay. I chip my nails. I mean, the context matters. Context matters. What you may think is inappropriate is inappropriate. But the reason why it's not illegal is because we live in a free country and some people are into that shit. Some people like to listen to Andrew Dice Clay because they know he's joking. Remember, they tried to fucking stop him from saying shit.
Starting point is 01:08:03 They want to stop fucking Ice-T from saying shit. They to stop fucking iced tea from saying shit they constantly want to stop people from saying shit like they're they're pure yeah the government wants to stop eminem from rapping really while the government is funneling fucking weapons to fucking iran and iran current contra scandal now i'm talking about the iced tea era but it's like really now you're the good guy now you're the good guy ben and jerry? Now you're the good guy. Now you're the good guy. Ben and Jerry's. Now you're the good guy. Feeding diabetes, fucking diabetes, foam dessert with chunky monkey in it with Steve Carell's face.
Starting point is 01:08:36 Now you guys are the good guys. Well, you kill people one foot at a time. Sugar's addictive. You're a drug dealer, dickhead. You're a fucking drug dealer. Sugar kills a lot of people, dog. And it maims a lot of people. And that's what you sell.
Starting point is 01:08:54 You're not selling bananas, dick fuck. And you're the good guy. Kellogg's. Oh, you work with kids and you're the good guy? With your fucking shit sugar cereal? To kids? Sugar is kids' cocaine. That's what it is.
Starting point is 01:09:13 And you sell that, but somehow you're the fucking good guy. Here's the deal. Nobody's the good guy. Nobody's the good guy. You know who knows that better than anyone? Nature. Nature wants to kill us all the time why because they have motive we stink we're fungus growing on a rock so nature knows
Starting point is 01:09:31 what it's doing before 1900 do you know the chances you know who you know who was the biggest aborter before abortion nature not only do they try to kill the kids, they tried to kill the mom too. From 20 to sometimes 50 to sometimes even 70, depending what plagues were around or whatever, or places in history. Sometimes it was up to like 70% of the kids wouldn't make it.
Starting point is 01:09:59 The kid would die. Mozart, the genius Mozart, the musician, guess what? Was one of seven kids but guess what only two of them lived how many kids of abraham lincoln have who didn't do didn't make it kids died before 1900 kids often died
Starting point is 01:10:17 nature knew what he was doing nature goes those kids aren't innocent they're human free trials yeah you're you're human and if you're religious you go like wait a second don't you believe in original sin so he's innocent who exactly is innocent it's so ironic because uh reason and medicine and technology is what allows childbirth to be safe for now right it's the thing that but It's the thing that people wail against, going like, hey man, just let nature be. If you let nature be, chances are you'll get the abortion that you hate just because childbirth is violent and often goes wrong. I mean, 20% is a lot. Two out of 10, sometimes it would go up to 50%. Like I said, depending on the place on the globe and the time in history and the context, often kids wouldn't
Starting point is 01:11:12 make it. In nature with animals, oftentimes those pups don't make it. So that's context. That's context for you. It's not a clean world. It's not a clean world. Should we try to make it a cleaner world? Yes. But with the childish naivety to make it perfect? No. Because that's when you start getting zealotized.
Starting point is 01:11:36 Zealotized because by definition it's not real. It's not real. It has nothing to do with reality. What you're trying to do is just unreal. You're trying to socially engineer everything. It's not real. It's not real. It has nothing to do with reality. What you're trying to do is just unreal. You're trying to socially engineer everything. It's not real. It's not real. Nobody's good. People are self interested. They're a complex mixture of selfish and good and bad and they run the spectrum. Some people are worse, net. Some people are more good.
Starting point is 01:12:06 Some people are more competitive. Some are less. I mean, it runs the gamut. So stop trying to have these all-in-one solutions for everyone. It's not the way it works. I like to see you nodding because it means I'm saying something that's true. But also, this is a long day. You haven't giggled in a long time.
Starting point is 01:12:27 I had a feeling this was going to be a little bit of a long one because i just there was just some things i needed to get off my chest i wanted to get that off my chest and i really hate this fucking young people shit where they're going like you're just old you're like dude that's the problem with our society healthy societies you know it's like in politics did we say that before did we say that already about how it's just like it's run by either old people or young people now it's just either old fucking 70 80 year old people running laws like old bitter people who are gonna die soon or like young people who are just like nihilistic are dictating policy now it's what about all those people in between who were just like making families live in are dictating policy now it's what about all those people in between
Starting point is 01:13:05 who are just like making families living their lives in their 30s and their 40s and their 50s and their 60s everything's so extreme you know and older is not it's not a slur when you call someone oh you know the reason and the reason why kids do that and they think oh he's old he's a boomer or whatever and they say that as a pejorative is because companies make these kids feel very important. Companies make them. And why do they make you important? I hate to break it to you. It's because they know you're stupid and they know you will buy their product.
Starting point is 01:13:37 That's why. Why do you think the coveted demographic is, what is it, 16 to 34 or whatever? 18 to 24. 18 to 24. why do you think it's the coveted you have the you have no responsibilities no bills you don't know anything about the world and you're the one who will spend the most on dumb shit they know you have expendable why do they make boy bands and boy girl why do they spend all that money to put those together to entertain dads who have bills who have priorities priorities, who use apps to budget. No, because it's dumb 14-year-old girls who don't know what good entertainment is, who
Starting point is 01:14:13 just get happy because Justin Timberlake. Are you a Justin Timberlake? No, I'm more of a Chris Kirkpatrick. I like the underdog. I like the black horse. I like the also ran. They know you're dumb. So they make you feel important. But the reason why you feel important is because they've made you feel important. And the reason they target you is because you're dumb. You're dumb as shit. You haven't done anything.
Starting point is 01:14:38 You haven't experienced anything. You haven't been manipulated. You're currently being manipulated. You haven't been manipulated and realized it. You're currently being manipulated. Older people have been manipulated, not meaning I'm better than you, meaning I went through the same shit and then got older and realized I was being manipulated. So I'm better than you only because I've been through it. Older people just have a little more wisdom. You know, You can't tell me shit. Sometimes you say some wise shit. Yeah. Anyway, TikTok and Twitter are fucking robbing all of our data.
Starting point is 01:15:12 What's new? And we just keep going back for more. We can't stop. You gonna give up your account? No, I'm not. It's funny, because you read these articles, and you just go, ah, fuck, I guess they're just gonna know what I not. It's funny, because you read these articles and you just go, ah, fuck,
Starting point is 01:15:26 I guess they're just going to know what I do. It's the age of sacrifice, man. They got great chicken, but they also hate the gays. You still going to go? I got to go. The thing, this is the thing about China.
Starting point is 01:15:36 So the FCC commissioner calls TikTok Chinese spyware and wants it pulled from mobile apps. Now, this isn't a news story, right? This has been known for a while, but something recently has come out about Twitter. We made a joke about that, that Twitter is also very vulnerable to third parties
Starting point is 01:15:53 stealing your data, all that stuff. Twitter's former security chief alleges his company misled regulators about security bots. Former Twitter security chief is alleging social media has major security deficiencies that threaten privacy on the platform and national security more broadly. Some of the security issues allegedly leave the company
Starting point is 01:16:14 vulnerable to disinformation, hacking, and foreign spying. We know it's all true. We all love fame. We all want to get big. Everyone has the dream of just being famous and not having to work for it. And that's what these social media platforms play into, right? So that's why we'll never give it up.
Starting point is 01:16:38 Because fame for Americans is like eating. We need it. We need it. Jesse's one of the only people I've ever met who has no interest in fame. Or socks. Or socks. Or shoes, for that matter.
Starting point is 01:16:54 He's wearing Crocs. But it's a rare thing, dog. That's a strange thing that I can say that confidently. It's a rare thing. You give 10 out of 10 people the opportunity to put themselves out there and get more noticed, they'll take it. Very few people be like, yeah, that's not really me.
Starting point is 01:17:08 You know what I mean? I just kind of, I mean, I'm into it. It's very rare. Right. So I think our foreign adversaries to some extent know that about our culture. They kind of have had that insight. was created after a meeting that talked about that going hey man what's the best way to influence these people to get make them stupider to uh what do they love what do they love they love fame they love money right so what do they all do they create tick tock they they dangle that carrot right or all these girls are shaking their asses we're down to a one minute attention span. All the American companies now have to change their landscapes in order to compete with TikTok. YouTube has done it. Now
Starting point is 01:17:51 they got the shorts and they do it. If you look at the short pages on YouTube, it's the same exact as TikTok where the still frame is moving, the whole thing. Instagram has done it now where it's all reels. They've done it to imitate the chinese company that did it to destroy us because they they know that those other they knew those other companies will cave because at the end of the day those companies care about one thing not you whenever they say hey this this this content is uh age restricted they don't care about you they care about their money they care about getting a bad reputation where parents write and sue them and say, hey, my daughter saw this. They just don't want you to fuck with their money. So the Chinese companies know, hey, they'll all imitate us. They'll all become us. They'll
Starting point is 01:18:33 become stupider and stupider. They love fame. What else do they love? Money. Oh, so you know what we'll do? We'll offer them cash for their house every single time. You'll never ask, hey, how did you get all this cash? How does this Asian person just walk in and have four million to put down on my house? I'm not going to care. I want the four million. I'm not going to ask questions.
Starting point is 01:18:52 Wait a second, Mr. Wang. How did you get four million cash? Nobody's going to care. Are you going to not sell? Who's going to not sell? Who's going to not sell? I'll fucking sell. I'll sell this show right now for 100 yen.
Starting point is 01:19:08 And guaranteed safety from the CCP. I'll sell it right the fuck now. So they use it against us. Our greed. And what's the sin for wanting attention? Vanity. Our greed and vanity. They use it against us.
Starting point is 01:19:28 Hats off. Hats fucking off. And to think that they're not aware of that is just naive. That this was just a happy accident that TikTok got so popular. Just a happy accident. Just a happy accident
Starting point is 01:19:41 that they're buying up every port, you know, in their hemisphere. And they made their inroads into Greece by buying that port. Just a happy, they just really want to help. They really want to help. They really want to help Greece. Here's this loan.
Starting point is 01:19:55 I'm just here to help. I'm only here to help. I know you're good for the loan, dog. I know you're good for the loan, right? I don't want to do this to have any leverage over you. I know you're good for the loan right i don't want to do this to have any leverage over you i know you're good for the loan so they're still in our ship big deal paul pelosi's in prison for five days so andrew tate i mean do you ban him i mean you know what like what is that gonna do i i don't i don't get what they're trying to do it's gonna make them bigger if you do that yeah and they're
Starting point is 01:20:29 not they're not they're not dealing with the underlying problem with the underlying problem is like their own hypocrisy the underlying problem is the way they're trying to censor everything and create this pure world gives people like Andrew Tate, who has no particular set of skills, really, that he's really good. He's not exactly a great entertainer, actor, comedian. He's just a personality saying boisterous shit. He's willing to say the shit.
Starting point is 01:21:02 Kansas Owens got so big because she's willing to say the crazy shit. Sheens got so big because she's willing to say the crazy she's willing to go there she switched political affiliation she's willing to go there she's willing to say it she's willing to say all this stuff 40 of the stuff that she'll say normal people will go i'll agree right but only someone who's will crazy enough to say the hundred will do what she's doing. Most people go, I can't get on board with that. But somebody's got to say it, so she'll say it. Because in order, and the reason why people don't say it
Starting point is 01:21:37 is because they're scared of backlash, right? They're scared if they do say something that might have some more truth to it, but not support the status quo or tell the current politically correct line they know that there's going to be repercussions so they look at candace owens and they go at least someone's saying it at least there's some pushback now yeah now i got a war makes for strange bedfellows i gotta side with candace owens she's the only who's telling me slavery wasn't that bad or whatever the
Starting point is 01:22:06 fuck she says. I got a side with her because in addition to saying slavery wasn't that bad, she also said, you know what? You know, maybe if you're maybe, maybe there is a such thing as gender kinda. So Andrew Tate is not an outlier
Starting point is 01:22:25 Is my point He's more of The normal prototype Of the person who gets famous now The person who becomes president The person who becomes governor The person who becomes state senator The person who becomes congressperson
Starting point is 01:22:39 It's more the prototype now The more outrageous and outlandish You can be The more outrageous and outlandish you can be, the more attention you're going to get because they're suppressing everything else. They're suppressing everything else. So you either toe the line and you're a perfect good soldier for the PC
Starting point is 01:23:00 so there's no problems that come to the company or whatever, the reputation. You either toe the line and pretend that you're a pure angel and you're for justice of everything. Meanwhile, you're revving up your private jet or whatever the fuck you're doing that makes you a hypocrite. Either you pretend like you're that and say nothing controversial or anything true and perfectly pure, or you're an absolute fucking sociopathic fame whore who will say or do anything for attention
Starting point is 01:23:29 like Andrew Tate, Donald Trump, Candace Owens. The list fucking goes on. Lauren Boebert, fucking Tyler Green, whatever her dumb name is. Yeah. You know? These people are saying outlandish shit. That's what's happened.
Starting point is 01:23:47 Andrew Tate's at the beach and he's swimming past the buoy, basically. Yeah, we're being pulled apart by marketing and by foreign adversaries
Starting point is 01:23:58 who know what our weakness is. Enjoy it. Enjoy it, baby, because it's a going out of business sale. This's a going out of business sale This is a going out of business sale right now Get your little chunk You're not going to be able to fix it
Starting point is 01:24:11 So you will be tuning into this pretty soon And I will be doing this The whole time Talking about You know What you got to do with your woman Is put her on a leash You want a healthy relationship? Put her on a leash you want a healthy relationship
Starting point is 01:24:25 put her on a leash dog walker okay once in a while just smack her here to let her know what you mean i'll be doing that or i'll be going on here going hey guys how you doing this is uh my daily show fan show where the podcast we just talk about uh we rate how great The Daily Show is on the moral scale. Today, we give them an 8 out of 10 because they didn't do that and they should have done that, but for the most part, it was good. Hi, welcome to the, this is the anti-appropriation podcast brought to you by Giannis Pappas, where we're seeking all instances of appropriation anything that we deem to be appropriation we are advocating that those people be put in prison thank you for tuning in to the anti-appropriation podcast with yannis pappas this is the last episode of me hosting
Starting point is 01:25:19 it because i'm straight white male and i am receding right now to a less offensive place, which is in the coffin. Please kill me as an equalizer for past justices. Put me away. My individual story, my individual ethnicity, my individual personality have nothing to do with who I am. I am a member of a group and that group has privileges. Any people who don't look like me, who are doing better than me, smarter than me, better looking than me, of which there are almost all,
Starting point is 01:25:55 are outliers. It has nothing to do with the system or we just ignore that. We just ignore that. Okay? That's what I do here. Please put me in the coffin because it's the only just Okay. That's what I do here. Please put me in the coffin because it's the only just place. It's what I deserve. Podcast is over.
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