Yannis Pappas Hour - Sedatives In The Water - Ryan Sickler
Episode Date: April 28, 2023The Honeydew’s Ryan Sickler drops by to talk about his new special Lefty’s Son that is free on YouTube: https://youtu.be/AXGHgyr2MNA Also, how to chill out the population, why tragedy is great for... Ryan and more! Enjoy!See Yannis live Dates & Cities below All tickets: https://www.yannispappascomedy.comTampa April 21-22Boston July 8 Long Island Aug 17Dallas Aug 24-26New York Nov 4 Providence Nov 10-11Phoenix Nov 16-18Watch Yanni’s stand up special: https://youtu.be/ArlCFemEDvQJoin our highlights page for highlight clips of every episode: https://youtube.com/channel/UCfMy34qIYYy7XiRaHKO1ykwNew episodes every Friday and new bonus episodes every following Tuesday at Patreon.com/yannispappashour Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
What's up everybody? Screwed in, got a lot to say. Ah, shit. It's about to be a long day. It's a long day.
It's a long day.
What's up, everybody?
Welcome to another episode in the Mike Albanese studio.
Mike is a very funny comedian who has a studio.
And here we got our good friend, Ryan Sickler, sitting next to me.
A lot of y'all might know him from my podcast, Doing You.
This is almost like meeting your therapist out for coffee.
Man, I felt that.
That's good.
I'm not used to seeing you in social settings.
I'm so used to fucking coming to the-
Telling me about getting shot and showing your coworkers your nuts your nutsack right you heard you crying on your show yeah
highlight the lowlights thank you for having me bro i still fucking don't buy that you didn't
spend some time below the mason dixon line i don't buy it i i spent one year in in, Texas when we were about four.
My dad got transferred from Baltimore from BWI Airport to Houston at the time.
We spent like maybe, I don't know, probably about a year there maybe,
and then came back.
That's the only time.
Well, and also officially, if you were being geographical here,
Maryland is technically below the – not technically.
It is below the Mesa.
It is, isn't it?
I think Pennsylvania is that line, and then we're right there.
Right.
A lot of people – yeah, because it's more mid-Atlantic,
but it is technically south.
There's parts of Maryland and parts of Virginia.
There's people in the south that will tell you to go fuck yourself
or call Maryland in the south.
Right, right.
But it is technically, technically yes southern because there's
something that took your baltimore mid-atlantic twang and slowed it down there's something there
was some place you went that was like whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa and just pulled it
he just yanked it yeah instead of doing that real fast i'll be like he's going to college
i'm like because then there's the fast i heard the fast yeah kook. Kook. Who? Kook. Who? Yeah. He's going home.
Yeah.
But it's like you do talk.
I know some of it may just be your personality, but it does feel like you did some jail time in Mississippi or something.
One Angola.
Something like that.
I know people do tell me.
We in the Mid-Atlantic and Philly over here as well, Mike.
Yeah, Mike's from Philly.
He's Philly trash.
We tend to draw our O's and our A's, and I guess I do it because when I first moved to
L.A., I would say, well, it's off Sepulveda, and everybody would just go back to me to
go, Sepulveda, and I don't hear that.
When I moved to Los Angeles, I know this is going to sound delusional.
How long ago was that?
20-some years ago.
All right.
I thought I—
What color was your hair then?
It was brown.
It was brown.
It looked like yours.
Yeah, because I've only known you with the silver fox,
so I've never known if it was brown, blonde, or black.
Brown.
No, it was brown.
Beautiful brown.
Beautiful brown.
I'm Italian-American.
Yeah.
And I literally, I know it sounds crazy.
I thought I sounded like everybody else.
In my head, I sounded just like these people talking to me.
I've been there 20-some years, and at least still once a week,
someone will go, where are you from?
And I know it's because they hear this accent.
We're like, I get Texas the most, and I get a bit of North Carolina sometimes.
But if you really, like that pocket of Maryland,
Maryland's interesting because it goes mountains,
then suburb, rural, then you have the city,
but then we have the Chesapeake Bay.
Right.
And there are rednecks, different kind of rednecks
on both sides of that bay.
But once you get on the east side of that bay,
that's all considered the eastern
shore it's not even they call it their own thing over there and that's all like watermen rednecks
you know fishermen crab rednecks and shit all the way down to then ocean city which is all
fucking touristy and condos and everything so it's a weird mix it's a weird mix and then you
have pockets of virginia and there are some people down there
speak supers.
When I've been in Indiana,
certain parts of Indiana,
I'm like,
you're from here.
And they,
they're super Southern.
Yeah.
So yeah.
And then other parts of Indiana,
not so much.
Yeah.
Yeah.
There's certain States like that.
DC kind of carved up Virginia and Maryland and confused the whole
situation about what's what.
And then DC became sort of a northern-ish town.
Chesapeake Bay is beautiful, though.
The Chesapeake Bay is beautiful.
It's the best crab cakes in the country.
Jimmy's Famous Seafood.
I'll give him a shout-out.
Where's my camera?
And Blacks from Maryland call it.
Go ahead.
Jimmy's Famous Seafood.
Jimmy's Famous Seafood.
Best one I'm squinting is the lights are bright.
Also, go watch my special on my YouTube.
Available now.
Lefty Sun.
Subscribe to that.
Ryan Sickler on all social media.
Follow the Honeydew Podcast.
Smart.
Get it out early.
I'll keep talking to you and never say it.
You know what would be funny, though?
The guy who owns that restaurant, he might cut that.
I've said stuff on podcasts and then I've seen me tagged on Instagram.
They use it as a commercial.
You might see that on his Instagram.
No, I love them.
I do shows there when I go back.
Really?
Yeah, he's got a club upstairs.
The seat's like 300, and I go back and do shows there instead of at the club there.
Does he have crab cakes and stuff?
Yeah, it's that spot.
It's fucking amazing.
You want to ever do a show there, I'll tell you.
I'd love to do a show.
Seat's 300, beautiful lighting, fantastic sound.
The Ravens and Orioles do shows there.
They're like a big place.
Fox Sports comes in.
ESPN comes in.
I would love to do that.
I'll set you up.
In Maryland.
So Lefty's son, meaning what?
That's my dad.
So this is your special?
It's gone up where?
It's on my YouTube.
YouTube right now?
Available now.
It's out.
Yeah.
Free, of course.
You know, all that.
We're all spending all this money to put up all this free content.
None of this shit right here is free to watch.
Well, in the Bible it says, you know, you put it out there, right?
It comes back to you, something like that.
That is an uneducated guess of what was in the Bible.
Sounded very much like the Bible, though.
Church I went to.
I think it said you put it out there and, you know,
it comes back around or something like that.
Yeah, Father Giannis.
By the way.
Well, tell them about those guys' suits.
I mean, it does come back it comes some of
those guys you're like listen get into the lord because the lord pays fucking good i went to uh
speaking to the lord and greeks i went to a greek wedding a friend of mine had in baltimore in a
church that had no air condition and this motherfucking wedding i'm sure you had a greek
wedding i had a greek My wife's actually half Greek.
Only Greek girl I ever dated.
It took forever.
And they're walking around.
What is the part where you walk around the altar?
The crowns.
Yeah, and they do that.
They took like 40 fucking laps, though.
They started laughing.
And my buddy's a big dude.
He's up there.
He's sweating.
And we're all like, he's about to pass out.
There's no.
It took forever. And they were standing the whole time're all like, he's about to pass out. There's no, it took forever.
And they were standing the whole time.
You could see everybody's wincing and shit.
That's a long one, brother.
Yeah, it has something to do with some represents going full circle, something.
Okay.
Again, yeah, you know, I'm not, this isn't a Bible study analysis I'm giving.
Listen.
Yeah, something you're wrapping around.
But, you know, it's funny because, like, nobody cares.
Like, you could cut it in half.
Easy.
You know, it's like the only things that don't change for the times is baseball and religion.
Baseball just changed.
Religion's got to step up now.
Religion's got to step up.
It's the only thing.
I'm a big Oriole fan.
And the other night.
We need a shot clock on some of these services.
For real, dude.
For real.
Somebody needs to be hurt.
Time's up, man.
Come on, father.
Back it out.
Yeah.
I went to watch
the Oriole game
the other night
and I was like,
oh, they're still,
they're only in like
the fifth.
There'll be another hour
of this game
and it was fucking done.
I'm like, all right,
they're hustling
through these things now.
So that new rule,
the pitch clock is working? It's shaving about 30 minutes off these games. Here's the deal. I know you're alright, they're hustling through these things now. Two and a half hours-ish. The pitch clock is working. It's shaving
about 30 minutes off these games. Here's the deal.
I know you're still a Baltimore Orioles fan.
I know you're still a Ravens fan. You can
tell. Even though you've been in LA for
20 plus years, your
heart is in Baltimore. Magnets
on the fridge are all Baltimore
and Camden Yards and Orioles. Blankets.
We don't have a blanket. We got a Ravens
blanket. My daughter's like, can I have the Raven's blanket?
I'm like, yeah.
Yeah, certain people, they carry that.
They don't change.
You brought certain people where they're from,
they bring where they're from to the new place.
Absolutely.
And then certain people, different personality types,
go to the new place and become the new thing.
And that's what makes L.A. full of douchebags.
Right, because they just become a new thing.
Most people come behaving the way they think this
fucking image is and i'm like you know that's the thing i i i think about it a lot if i could come
back even all the trauma i've had everyone dying and everything i would i've loved my life i would
come back as me again absolutely you choose you again i would choose me again wow i would absolutely over like uh hendrix jesus cal ripken wow any of them i believe
you too i would choose this life again why would you do that i've loved it cal ripken jr yep even
cal ripken jr senior angie wow yeah billy ripken all the ripken how aboutkins. How about like a porn actor?
Nah. Nah?
How about
JFK? Nah, man.
You see how that ended. Right, that didn't
end good.
That did not
end good. Would you come back as
a hot chick? Nah.
I think maybe if I would come back, people would be like, I want to be a king.
I'd be like, I just want to be a hot chick, and
then know that, have some insight that I used to be me.
So then I just fuck myself constantly.
Wait.
How's that?
Have some insight that you go find you, you mean?
No, have some insight that I used to maybe be me.
Oh, I understand.
Like just like deja vu.
So now you're like, I'm going to go fuck.
Oh, I was a dude.
Got it.
And then so it's like I'm me and I can just play with myself and, you know.
I think that's what you think until you have your period.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Until like, yeah, then I can't compete with you.
Can't compete.
No.
It depends if I was born pre-Title IX or not.
Yeah.
I've had so much.
There's been such horrific trauma, but there's also been so much funny shit.
So many fun times.
I don't believe the fucking magic is like the shit we've created is awesome
but that magic is built in the fucking basements when you're alone in those fucking corners in
your car and wherever that's where it's all fucking built i've loved the process i've loved
the i've hated the struggle and i've loved the struggle. So you're basically saying the struggle is part of it.
It is part of it.
I embraced it.
And I like who I am.
I'm insecure about a lot of things, but I like who I am.
And I had so many funny – like, my grandmom and her sisters were so fucking funny.
And to this day, I love old ladies that talk shit, love sports, and play cards.
Like, if I see an old lady doing that, I'm going to go up and introduce myself.
I'm like, can I play Pinochle with you?
And why is that?
It just was a time when it was an earlier time.
I remember my – so we had the Baltimore Colts back then,
and I remember hearing them tell stories about the greatest game ever played,
how they're all watching it, and then the TV went out,
and all of my Aunt Marguerite's,
because she's the only one that had a fucking TV,
and just all these stories, and they're playing cards,
and they kept up with the Ravens and shit.
So I'd always be surprised, my Aunt Marguerite would be like,
I heard Ray Lewis had a hell of a game.
I'm like, what are you talking about?
Yeah, working class kind of?
Oh, my God.
Working class ladies like football, yeah.
Love it.
Yeah.
At least there.
And I've always had that mindset, too.
Like, I'm a hustler.
I've had no parents since 16.
I've worked without a net since 16.
I've been hustling since 16.
And I believe in a blue collar work ethic in a white collar world.
You know what I mean?
And I think that's what comedians mostly are.
You have a blue collar work ethic, but then a white-collar weed addiction.
I don't have a friend.
I have very few friends who smell like weed as much as you do.
I feel like I could come to your house and you'd just get out of the shower.
I was right out front smoking.
I thought you were up here.
I was taking my time.
I got here early to have one to relax.
I was nervous.
You got a freshman college weed habit.
It's the only thing I'm allowed to do.
I just had this whole incident where I almost died in January.
My lungs clotted.
I was in the hospital.
I've been talking about this everywhere.
Wait a second.
I haven't seen you since this.
Yeah, I just went in for a
simple three hour back procedure right uh outpatient procedure and then it didn't heal right
so they opened me back up there was a little tear they stitched it back up good to go but now two
back-to-back surgeries it's just taking its time healing so like you need to lay in the hospital
and just recover but i also know i have this genetic blood disease from
my dad lefty which makes me his fucking kid for sure and um i know i'm prone to clotting it's
called factor five light and my blood's like syrup so i have to keep my machine moving and i can't
lay in a hospital bed clunky blood yeah i can't lay in a hospital bed for six seven eight nine
days so if i slashed you and i wanted you to bleed, I'd have to squeeze it like a peanut butter jelly?
Not now.
I'm on blood thinners, bro.
I could blind you.
I could squeeze it and blind you right in your eyes.
So you got like old milk.
Your blood's like old milk.
Curdled milk.
Yeah.
Shit.
So they let me lay there that long.
They give me an ultrasound.
They tell me my legs are good.
And two days later,
I just passed this little stairs test to go home. Thank God. I say all the time,
thank God I have stairs at my home. If I don't, I'm home a day earlier and I'm fucking dead.
I collapse on the bed. I tell them I know I'm clotting. I felt this before. This is what I was worried about. Because one of the surgeons even said, man, you're really worried about that
factor five, huh? And I was like, yeah yeah because last time i passed all these clots with that hospital telling
me there was nothing wrong with me and i should have been dead like the pain is is incredible
so i collapse they rush in they tell me i could be clotting and having a heart attack and that's
when i i blacked out that would have been death for me and then i woke up shit and there's this
little nurse standing over me, and I said.
So what happened?
I said, am I going home today?
She goes, no.
Your discharge has been canceled.
I was like, yeah, I thought so.
And they wheel me to CT scans, and they tell me that my heart is swollen
because clots fucking are all covering my lungs.
So wait, did you pass out?
Yeah, I passed out.
That would have been death they
they i woke back up they put me on machines or whatever i woke but it's not like i died i just
blacked out they fucking uh put me on machines and hustle me to the ct scans to tell me what
was going on they said i had massive pulmonary embolisms covering my lungs and then it was like
48 hours of you need to call your fucking family
and have real conversations because it's touch and go right now and i was like huh as a comic
did you did the first call you make to your podcast producer to make sure they got this
week's episode out listen you're gonna laugh yeah that's what i do oh by the way get it out on time
well originally i thought i was just going to be recovering casually through January.
So to make my life easier, I had stacked like seven episodes or whatever just so I had enough to cover me.
And I had enough to cover.
I mean, I have four surgeons tell me I should have died that day.
It was them out there like, you should have died.
All separate.
You don't even know how fucking lucky you are.
You don't know. You don't know. You don't know. don't know you don't know and i called her and i was like we get an episode
up let's make sure we get the episodes up this week and send me the promos and then i got all
emotional i was like and you should look for another job she's like what are you talking
about she started crying i was like they told me i could it could it's not good right now
if you need a reference i might be able to give you one. But you did awesome.
I was crying.
She was crying.
She's like, please don't say this.
I'm like, I have to tell you that.
Did you say to the doctor, please let me live because this will be a hell of a honeydew?
You know how many downloads I'll get on this?
That's actually a good thing that you have that podcast.
So when you go through something hard, you can just-
I did an episode.
Yeah.
Daniel Van Kirk there with me.
And we released it already. You can go watch it. Go watch it can go watch it go watch the whole story of the whole fucking ordeal it was ridiculous
and there was so much going on in there too and um you know it was i had to call my daughter's
mother and have real talks about life insurance and like it's you might be rolling solo on this forever.
Were you scared, freaked out about that?
Yeah, yeah.
Nobody wants to go.
No.
Life's good.
And you think things, too, Giannis, too.
When it's really in your face, I was like,
no, there's a lot of pieces of shit that are still going to live,
and I'm about to die.
Like, that crossed my mind.
That was a list of people.
I was like, this motherfucker's going to live.
The piece of shit always go on.
Yeah, the roaches.
I love your show, Honeydew.
Thank you.
Yeah, it's like you take mostly comedians on there,
and they tell the worst shit, but we laugh about it.
One of my biggest clips that I've had has been from your show.
Is it the shooting one?
The shooting one.
It's gone like nuts.
It's so fucking good.
It's like five million on everything.
I mean, I hope you're getting money off the motherfucker.
Well, visibility for sure.
Yeah.
Yeah, well, I got tired.
It's an interesting thing, too, because when I'm in the hospital, like I was.
So anyway, what happens?
I have to stay there now.
I'm in there for a month.
But they don't tell me that. They don't say because they don't know, Hey, you're going to be here 30
days. Somebody would have said that I could prepare myself for that, but it was, Hey, you
might be getting out of here tomorrow. And then they test your blood every day. If there's one
thing different, you're staying, you got to have fast, you got to get blood tested again. And it's
a two day process. So I know every time something comes back negative, it's two more fucking days,
test it again and it's a two-day process so i know every time something comes back negative it's two more fucking days but i'm laying in the hospital bed and all i'm doing is watching you know social
media social media everybody putting up fucking crowd work clips crowd work clips crowd work
clips and then i'm watching all these algorithms on these things and i'm starting to learn them
and shit and look at them and i'm like man this is this is all fucking fake. Like I was talking to Ari when we
first started, all I wanted to do was tell jokes and make people laugh and feel good. Now we got
to learn algorithms of apps and they're all different. Like how do we let these fucking
machines change our art form? It's interesting that because nobody, I mean, we all do it. We
have to do it. That's what you got to do. But how we, so I was, I mean, we all do it. We have to do it. That's
what you got to do. But how we, so I was like, man, we're still powerless. I saw, I think it was
Sam Morrill. He had a clip up that, I don't know, I guess a Karen complained about it maybe or
something. And it was against community guidelines and they took it down. And I was like, man,
here's something that one person could be upset about it, and they're going to do that. That can now affect your career.
They can kill your social media if they want to.
I know Chelsea Lynn said they've killed her Instagram a couple times.
And I'm like, god damn, you've had to restart all over again.
So I'm like, here we are still with all the power, and we're completely powerless to get it out there because we're stuck with the YouTubes.
I mean mean my show
is every episode we will we'll upload the episode in the queue sunday night for a tuesday drop
all right that motherfucker is already um limited ads or or no ads instant yellow instant and i'm
like how you said a human salt we just put the fucking thing up. It's an hour long.
How in 10 seconds?
We're stuck in that because I believe the reason is, and I'm pretty sure it's right, because people have come on, like you say, and talk about their worst times.
I've heard women talk about and men rape, incest, molestation, trauma.
These are words that the machine doesn't like.
And anytime we talk about those, we get dinged.
So I don't make money off my shit.
And I was telling this YouTube rep, I go, you know, how are we supposed to educate people about all this shit if we can't say these words?
Like, this person's not saying I raped someone.
They're saying somebody raped me.
It's the removal of context because robots can't understand context.
And it's not a coincidence to me that people act a lot like robots now.
Like when you say a word, you're like, wait, wait, listen to the context.
It's like, no, they judge you just like the algorithm would
because we're being conditioned by algorithms and AI to act like AI.
And I think that's why this era has been really defined
by extremists being one-dimensional
and yelling about one thing,
and then a bunch of grifters acting like they're extremists
because that's what the algorithm likes.
The same thing over and over again,
simple, repetitive, extreme, gets your attention.
So we've been conditioned completely by artificial intelligence.
But we've also been conditioned to put our highlights
up our ESPN reels up
our top tens up and I got sick
of that I got sick of seeing
somebody that I know personally
has cheated on their
fucking wife and
has done this and that
and has been a piece of shit or they've
cheated on their husband or I know they fucking
like you know whatever hit and run
whatever and I'm like all over here living your best life you're full of shit so i wanted
to know what the fuck was really going on in people's lives and the shit that they've they've
overcome or dealt with or are dealing with to um get to where they are right now and the stuff that
we like low lights keep coming i just almost fucking died
it's not like this they never stop they never stop yeah someone just said do you think the
honeydew could have longevity like you i'm like yeah i could go do another episode right now easy
i just went through another you better come out and do another one i got it i got a whole another
rep for you come on yeah i mean that show was made for me yeah i got i mean come on you love you
what have we covered already i I think I got shot.
I think we covered the COVID breakdown I had.
Oh, dude.
That was one of my favorite episodes because it was the polar opposites,
but so many people hated us talking about COVID that it made me laugh.
I laughed.
I was like, God, they hate it.
But you're dying in an ambulance, and we're riding by singing Christmas carols.
It's still one of my favorite fucking moments.
I'm like, God damn.
You got three classics.
Check those out if you haven't.
That's right.
You've been on three times.
The Honeydew, I've been on three times.
And we talked about my mother's long Alzheimer's decline.
That's right.
So we've had a lot.
Yeah, I got another one.
I'm ready.
Next time, I got to.
Come on out.
Yeah, I mean, the low lights never stop.
They never stop.
They never stop.
But also, I've.
And it's great to have a show that there's an honest conversation about it.
Yeah, we're not just shooting the shit.
We're not talking about sports and movies or whatever.
You know what it is, dude?
And not to cut you off.
Yeah, please.
But just, it's important.
A show like that's important because, you know, you see now, like, kids are becoming depressed.
Their suicide rates are up.
Teenage girls, it's never been as high because of Instagram and all this stuff.
It's because of what you said. Everyone's
turned into like a McDonald's commercial.
So nothing's real out there. So people are out there
chasing waterfalls, chasing illusions,
trying to keep up with people
who aren't even... That's a lie.
They're a commercial for themselves.
This nine seconds of this person right here
looks awesome. My life sucks.
This motherfucker is in prison doing that right now.
Okay.
That's a,
so I wanted to,
I've grown a new appreciation for comedians again,
because comedians have some of the worst shit happen to them and then turn it
into a fucking beautiful art form and can sit and laugh about getting shot or
find moments in an ugly story to still make people laugh. And that's it's such a beautiful thing when you get to see comedians in that form, because no one's trying to make a are. How are you going to help me if you don't know who I really am?
If I'm coming in here as this filter or this character, you're not going to be able to fucking help me.
What makes it so important for society is that it lets people know that whatever bad things they're going through are normal.
Because I think the thing that shocks people the most.
It's okay to not be okay.
Yeah, it's okay to not be okay.
And also, you're not alone.
At all.
As Seal said, it's the loneliness that's the killer.
That's right.
And it's the truth.
It is, dude.
When it comes down to it.
Tom Petty also said the waiting is the hardest part.
Those two things are very fucking true.
Dude, the loneliness is at the end of the day, we're a social species.
things are very fucking true.
The loneliness is, at the end of the day, we're a social species. Whether you want to
look at it cynically or however
religiously, spiritually, we are meant
to be in together.
And when you feel like you're going through something
and there's nothing you can find
to relate, like, or
find someone who has went through something
that you can relate to, you feel
more alone and then you spiral because
you feel like you're all alone,
and that's the biggest fear, I think, for us as a species.
So that's why a show like yours is very important
because I can turn it on and go,
oh, my God, this person who I love,
this person who's so funny and is so chipper all the time
has gone through all this shit just like me,
so I'm not weird.
I'm normal like them.
And look at what they've done.
They're laughing at it they've
defeated it look at they've become successful comedians um and uh so that it's it it's
important it's funny it's so funny the more they try to ban the more they're hurting people
because they're getting farther and farther away from the truth greed and the truth is what people
seek and need but i um also i we have like, you have kids, Peppa Pig.
I was introduced to Peppa Pig,
and I was introduced to the idea that you shouldn't let your kids watch it
because Peppa Pig says things like, I'm depressed.
And so I read this article like,
why does any fucking kid need to know about depression at four?
And I was like, God, that's a great point.
Why am I letting this fucking cartoon influence the way this person feels like she's gonna now walk around and go i'm depressed
fuck that shit so i started seeing like things like that creep in you're seeing like just all
kinds of if you just get your news from your fucking which a lot of fucking people do your
social feeds man you're we're all so fucking distorted it's wild out there it's wild so what you're basically saying is yeah i i there's rating
systems are good like there's that's what the internet should do i guess is like you don't
want a four-year-old watching the honeydew no no you don't want a four-year-old watching the
honeydew but we mark them explicit yeah they'll get demonetized so that i get yeah and like things like yeah you don't need a four-year-old hearing about you also need
to be introducing depression and things like that because peppa pig saying i'm depressed that's not
really depression a lot of people say i'm depressed when they're just in a foul mood or not feeling
good that day it's a little casual throw around but the real depression man talk to somebody who
has real fucking depression.
Yeah, yeah.
Who doesn't get out of bed.
Yeah.
Who can't go to work.
Who doesn't go fucking out of the house.
Who doesn't do anything.
Who's not eating.
Who's not functioning.
Yeah.
Like, that's fucking depression.
For Peppa motherfucking Pig, a cartoon?
Yeah.
You're a cartoon.
What the fuck are you depressed about?
Right.
What in that cartoon world's got you down?
Right.
Because you can change it with the fucking stroke of a pen
we can't
no
fuck Peppa Pig
yeah he's got a British accent too
I thought Peppa was a girl
well I don't know
you know what let me not do that
it's good that we don't know too much about her
even though we have kids
when someone knows too much about it, it's a little creepy.
And you better have kids.
Someone comes over to me and tells me the plot line to Frozen and they don't have kids.
I'm going, who are you trying to fucking woo with that knowledge?
My girlfriend.
We're going to Disneyland together next year.
What, by yourselves?
No kids?
Yeah.
If you know any kid plot for any movie, you better have some kids.
Yeah, you better fucking have some kids.
Now that I have a little girl, I think about stuff like that.
How old's your girl now?
She's two and a half.
But now you start to think, even when we're at the carousel and you see a dude,
because the carousel in the mall is close to where the food court is.
So when I see a dude eating alone too close to the carousel,
now I have a totally different...
It's funny how you only
see the things. Your reality
is a reflection of
your level of enlightenment or your level
of experience or your
level of interest. We don't
even know the full reality of the things
that are in front of us because we're only paying attention
to our perspective, which is
so much more limited than we know. And it's all based on,
like I said, your interests.
So now I'm seeing all these guys sitting close to the carousel
that I wouldn't have noticed before.
And my question is, like, I know one of them is a petty.
I know.
No doubt.
Yeah, because he's been there two hours.
It doesn't take that long to finish chicken and broccoli with brown rice.
It doesn't take two hours or a Sparrow slice.
Two hours.
Yeah, he's like slowly sipping a Diet Coke,
even though the Sparrow is fucking,
the triangle carton is empty.
I'm like, what's he doing?
What are you doing?
What are you doing?
What are you doing, dude?
No doubt.
If you're just, what are you reminiscing?
Are you just taking a day?
A buddy of mine and I,
there was a homeless guy on the ground
under a tree at a park where our kids was playing.
And he was in a blanket.
And we kicked his, because you could see the blanket move.
This motherfucker's jerking off.
Like, get the fuck out of here.
Get the fuck out of here.
Brutal.
And then they go.
But I'm with you.
I also prejudge.
Like, I saw a guy the other day walking.
He had jean shorts.
He had a braided belt shirt tucked in. and I was like, this guy fucks kids.
That's the first thing I thought, and I don't know why.
But I was like, I'm worried that this guy might fuck kids.
I saw him over there playing, like, basketball with kids, and I was like, don't go over there.
How high were the jean shorts?
They were pretty high, dude.
Yeah, he probably fucks kids.
And belt, like, a phone thing on the clip, like that guy, right?
Oh, definitely, phone clip, definitely fucks kids.
Fucks kids.
That's definitely, that's fucking, that's in the Bible too.
Yeah, you know, you think.
I'm terrified of that shit.
Yeah, you have a daughter too.
She's eight now.
I'm still terrified of it.
It's terrifying.
It's terrifying.
Yeah, it's interesting because when you have a daughter,
it's terrifying because you know that, let's be honest, like, you know, the left can be annoying, especially feminists can be annoying, but they also make a good point.
When you have a daughter, you go like, you know, you're right.
The only, I really have to worry about guys.
I don't got to worry, but you don't have to worry about women.
No.
Women aren't out there doing any crime.
They're not.
They're not just not doing it.
Women are good people, yeah.
Mostly good people. And even when they're not good people they don't like they rarely murder
you yeah they don't murder you all right you know and they can't they can't like sexually assault
you really so it's like i'm relating in a way and i want to put this out there so right now with like
the whole thing with i spend a month in there so the back
i never even got to rehab so i'm just into like physical therapy now like i just lifted 10 pounds
the other day for the first time like i got a long way to fucking go but i'm able to walk and
you know functions i'm grateful for that but i don't feel like myself on any of these streets
at any moment i don't i i certainly if shit breaks out i can't run you're
vulnerable i'm super vulnerable i can't i don't feel like i can defend myself and even if i do
it's gonna fuck me up and i'm gonna be dead or in the hospital for a year and it was just a couple
years ago that um a friend of mine i can't remember who it was might have been a comic and
and i think we were leaving the comedy store and I said, you know, I'll walk you to your car. And she said, you know,
do you fear any man that walks by you on the sidewalk?
And I was like, not unless it's like a shady situ-
alley or weird shit.
No, I know there's going to walk by me.
She goes, yeah.
Imagine being a woman who biologically
could be taken by any one of these motherfuckers
that walk by us if they just so choose.
And I was like, huh, I've never thought of that.
Yeah.
And now as I walk down these streets, I fucking get it.
I get it.
And I still think I could probably defend myself a little more in this condition than a small petite woman could, but I fucking get it.
You feel it a little bit now, yeah.
Dude, I feel it a little bit now dude i feel it man
i'm like wow you all walk around every day and every man that passes you you have to have a
feeling inside you like if right now just because i'm biologically smaller this motherfucker could
beat the shit out of me or take me if he wants chapelle has the best joke about that that uh
he goes uh what was that joke where he says um he goes i i had to carry
like a bag of money once he had like a big bag of money and how paranoid he was because he knows
everyone wants it and just knowing that he had something everybody wanted he goes you know that's
what women women feel like they have a fucking big duffel bag full of cash. Yeah, I think it was, now imagine having a pussy.
Now imagine having a pussy, yeah.
It's true.
It's really like you got something half the population wants bad.
And, yeah, people take the things that they want.
So, yeah, it's scary.
Like, you know, when you become a girl dad,
you're just kind of like you become more feminist.
You start to see things from their perspective.
Yeah, I was hoping for it. Like I'm for like, you become more feminist. Yeah. You start to see things from their perspective. Yeah,
I was hoping for,
because I'm- I'm for like,
putting sedatives
in the water supply.
Is that a thing?
Yeah,
like when people,
if someone paranoid
came up to me and was like,
hey man,
the government's doing it,
I'm like,
they should.
I'm hoping they do.
Calm everybody the fuck down.
I want everyone to be
chilled the fuck out.
I think that's a great idea.
I'm with that,
dude, too.
Dude,
throwing Klonopins
in the water supply.
I mean, what are we trying to do here?
And they say, oh, it's unhealthy?
Well, it's unhealthier than a McDonald's burger.
I mean, it's like, at least it's chilling everybody out, lowering the crime rate.
I like that idea, actually.
Fuck fluoride.
Dude, the problem is we still got, you know, what is, modernity's only been around for
like a little over 100 years, right?
The Industrial Revolution.
what is modernity has only been around for like a little over a hundred years right the industrial revolution we're still kind of like we're still kind of an old animal in this new so i think we
need a little help with the chill the fuck out the fuck out dude if they put a little sedatives
in all those vaxes and that was all i'm like okay all right that's not a bad i understand yeah i
wish you told the truth but i understand why you you didn't. People wouldn't, you know, whatever you got to do to chill this fucking place out.
Do it.
Yeah, it's getting wild out there.
It's wild out there.
And it shouldn't be.
No.
That's why, like, you want to, they should, instead of killing, like, instead of espionage,
nuclear threats with the war in Ukraine, Russia, figure out a way to throw some fucking sedatives
in a water supply.
Dude, I really do think it's a great idea.
I mean, throw Putin.
I'm not even, I'm laughing
because I've never heard anybody say it.
It is.
It is the fucking solution.
I really fucking...
Because if you kill Putin,
you make him a martyr, right?
But if you throw a bunch of Klonopin in his coffee
and then his next speech is like,
hey man, we should just all...
What are we doing?
What are we doing?
What are we doing? Weed, whatever it is. Whatever's like, hey, man, we should just all... What are we doing? What are we doing? What are we doing?
Weed, whatever it is. Whatever's
going to do that... I can help out with that.
Whatever's going to do that,
we should do that. It's got to be easier to
put mushrooms in his steak
or in his spaghetti than it is
to kill the man. Yeah.
Let's just get him some mushrooms. Just get him some mushrooms.
Cook some mushrooms.
Tonight we're having steak frang...
What are they?
What's the mushrooms?
They put the mushrooms on the steak.
The mushroom borscht?
Yeah.
Borscht.
And just throw some fucking...
Some magical mushrooms in there.
And then he's just...
You know, give him some ayahuasca.
Whatever it is, just chill him the fuck out.
It's a great fucking idea.
The water supply is where it's at, bro.
That's what we need to do.
It is.
What are you talking about in Lefty's Son?
Oh, man.
Is this your first YouTube special?
This is my first special period.
That's out right now.
Go watch it on YouTube, on your channel.
It's the same channel with the-
R. Sickler, where the honeydew is.
Where the honeydew is.
All that.
Honeydews, it's a great watch.
If you haven't seen our episode, it's a great way to start.
But like we're talking about, it's a great watch.
Comedians come on.
They talk about all the horrible things they've been through, and it's a good laugh.
It's also evergreen.
It's not like we're talking about topical shit.
You can go listen to anyone's episode at any time, and it's relevant.
That's the best.
You know?
That's why your podcast has, like when someone says, does it have longevity?
Yeah, it has longevity.
Mine, my podcast is a news spoof.
So it's like, if you don't catch it that week,'s like like i gotta i gotta race all the episodes that nobody would notice
i'm talking about a lot of stuff i do talk about weed and alcohol for me because one of the things
because one of those things is very dear to your heart and and i was scared because obviously i'm
going to choose my health over any fucking thing and And I said to the doctors, I was like, I guess this is the end of smoking weed.
And they were like, no.
And I was like, huh?
And they were like, look, the clot you have in your lungs.
Wait, it's funny.
You were more scared of losing weed than your life.
Wait a second, Doc.
No, I wasn't more scared of losing my life.
Shoot it to me straight, Doc.
What I'm saying is if they said this is the end of weed, I'd have been like, no problem.
I'm choosing my life over some bullshit weed.
Little problem.
Little problem.
Yeah, no problem. I'm choosing my life over some bullshit weed. A little problem. A little problem. Yeah, a little problem.
But what they told me was, because I'm not a big, I don't drink.
I smoke weed.
And every now and then I'll take some shrooms.
And that is all I do.
I don't fuck with pills.
I've never done acid in my life.
I've never done cocaine.
I'm not into that shit.
You know, the Just Say No Drug campaign to me, I'm 50 now, was Len Bias.
I remember Len Bias.
Lenny Bias dies of crack cocaine.
He's built like a Greek god and everyone in Maryland worships this kid.
He's going to the Celtics to fucking give Jordan and everybody a run and then he fucking dies.
So when we saw that, I was like, I'm not touching cocaine.
If it could kill Len Bias, it could wreck this body.
So did anyone ever have a conspiracy that it could have been a rival team that spiked this coke?
It was I think it was Detroit.
Yeah, it could have been Detroit.
I think it was Detroit.
Divisional rival.
You know what?
We're not going to let this shift in balance.
It ain't happening.
Yeah.
So they tell me not to have any tobacco.
And they also said if i was a cigarette
smoker we're probably not even having this conversation i'm dead um they tell me no tobacco
no alcohol because i'm on blood thinners now no vapes just because they're trash and too new and
don't even bother with them um and i'm like great i'm like that's all i do i said but i do i told
them you know i've never lied to my doctors i want to make sure they know what the i'm like, great. I'm like, that's all I do. I said, but I do. I told them, you know, I've never lied to my doctors.
I want to make sure they know what the I'm like, I smoke a lot of marijuana.
And they said, we know we saw your blood because I had to take all the tests.
And I said, yeah.
And that was three, four days of not smoking weed before I got in here.
And they go, yeah, we know.
And they go, here's the beautiful thing.
They're like, you don't smoke anywhere near enough to cause problems.
And I was like, I smoke a lot.
And they're like, not enough for you to cause problems.
I'm like, explain to me how these, it's not, it's okay to, they go, look, we're not saying it's okay.
We never want anyone to smoke anything.
But if you're going to, it's cannabis.
And they say the clots in your lungs are there.
And I didn't know this. They're there untilots in your lungs are there and i didn't know this
they're there until your body gets rid of them i didn't know that i thought the blood thinners
got rid of them they're like nope the blood thinners prevent new ones and your shit's in
there it could be in there for a year but cannabis is never going to bother your lungs marijuana or
tobacco vapes all that shit will and if you smoke that you're going to be fucked and i was like done right so i'm allowed to that's the only thing i'm allowed to smoke weed yeah the smoke from weed
doesn't bother your lungs that doesn't make sense it's smoke right and they also said that i i'm
telling you i've got four surgeons recorded on my phone um because they wanted to give me xanax for
the anxiety i was like look man i don't want any more fucking pills. And they said to me, if we listen to our patients, if marijuana is what helps with your anxiety,
then you can smoke it. Again, two-part message. We don't want anyone to ever smoke anything.
But if it's going to be something, then it's cannabis. And then if it becomes a problem,
I can just do edibles. Right. Why don't you do that?
Because I believe it's because of the thick blood. Why don't you do that? Because they, I believe it's because
of the thick blood.
They don't fucking get me.
I've taken 100 milligram shit
and it's done nothing.
I mean, it's gotten me
a couple times for sure,
but it's,
I believe it's because
that goes into your blood
and this shit goes to your lungs.
I just, my guess.
Now, you never get paranoid
with weed
or it just takes away
your anxiety?
You want to know?
Yes.
It does take away my anxiety.
Totally different people react differently.
But I'll tell you when it does get me.
If I'm going through some deep, serious shit, like when I split with my daughter or my daughter's mother, I didn't smoke at all because all it would do, it helps me focus.
But all I started doing was future tripping, like, oh, my God, she's going to have guys come over there.
They're going to fucking molest my kid.
Like, it starts getting me.
And I was like, nah.
So I got to be in good spirits.
If I'm not mentally right, I don't fuck with it because it does not serve me well.
Do you have a lot of anxiety?
Are you a guy with a lot of anxiety?
Oh, my God, yeah.
Yeah.
And the weed helps, you think?
I know it helps.
Yeah.
I fucking know it helps.
Yeah.
So it just numbs you out.
It doesn't numb me at all.
It's like, it's a huge deep breath and fucking weight off my shoulders.
Yeah.
It's the thing that gets me to be right here.
Yeah.
Because I don't, like, I've never been a guy that, again, coke or anything. I don't want to go up. You want to chill. I don't want to be, here yeah because i don't like i've never been a guy that again coke or anything i
don't want to go up you want to chill yeah no i don't want to be that i want to i want to be here
i don't even want to go down like pills and shit like that like i just want to be level and marijuana
levels me out yeah i recently even kind of gave up caffeine because i don't i'm like you know what i
don't i don't need to go up i need to chill so yeah and also i'm getting older man i don't I'm like you know what I don't I don't need to go up I need to chill so yeah and
also I'm getting older man I don't go ahead let that I ain't I'm not 20s I did the I did all that
shit yeah I did all that shit all the fucking stuff and I don't need it so alcohol so I do a
talk about weed and alcohol I talk about my stepson and him being 18 now and I talk about my stepson and him being 18 now. And I talk about my daughter and being a single dad and going all in at first and having absolutely no fucking clue what I'm doing.
I talk about.
When did you and your wife separate?
We were never married.
We were engaged, but we separated when my daughter was one.
Oh, my God.
Yeah.
So I'm a new dad and a new single dad at the same time
and that's what i talk about like what i did know and i know you can relate to this is i wanted to
be a fucking dad i didn't want to be a babysitter or the fucking you know every other wednesday and
every other weekend or bullshit no absolutely not you don't want to be together yeah that doesn't
mean i don't get to be a dad right so we worked it out. We get along. We figured it all out.
We co-parent very well.
But yeah, man, I had no fun.
And I look back now on pictures in my iPhone, like shit will pop up.
And I look at this little two-year-old and I'm like, man, I fucking did that.
I did potty training.
I flew back to Maryland to visit family and I didn't cheat.
I didn't fucking just, oh, it's easy, put a diaper on.
I made us go to the bathroom on the plane at a filthy ass delaware state fair we went to the fucking toilet like and
and it worked yeah i had my weekend was the pacifier yeah the dentist told her the pacifier
is pushing your teeth out and she's like what do you mean so i showed her a picture of the simpsons
i go you see how these teeth come out that's what's happening to your teeth and i was like
let's just go for a night without the pacifier.
I can't.
She was probably young.
She was like two.
And I took it away from her.
Fucking done.
You had to do all that.
One and done.
I was lucky, but I did, yeah.
Yeah.
My wife does all that.
I got to be honest.
My wife's.
Can I get another water, please?
Yeah.
My wife's like the starting point guard,
and I'm like the coach's son.
I thought you were going to say coming off the bench.
You're way worse.
The coach's kid.
Yeah, I'm the coach's kid, man.
Like, I don't got to do shit.
I mean, I do all the fun stuff.
I play with her outside.
I talk to her.
I jump around.
I jump over her head.
I make her laugh.
I do all that stuff.
But when it comes to the dirty work, like it's mostly my wife.
Like I've done it, though.
I do it on occasion in garbage time.
Like when my wife goes to the store or whatever.
Three minutes.
Yeah.
I'll pull shit out of a diaper.
I've done a few, you know.
I've changed a lot of diapers, but not nearly as much as my wife.
My wife gets up in the morning.
She does all that.
And she loves to do it.
Thank God.
Yeah.
It's hard.
It's a lot of work.
That's all me.
When she's with me 50% of the time.
And when she's with me, it is me.
And it's been me since the beginning.
And it's, yeah, fucking diapers.
We just had stomach flu the other day.
And, I mean, she's hanging over the toilet.
And she looks at me.
I go, don't look at me in the toilet.
And she just goes, blah. And it goes all over my fucking feet i was like she's like i'm
sorry i go it's fine it's fine yeah because when she gets sick you usually get sick too but we're
also taking care of a little lady like i'm raising a little lady in a in a world that is ever changing
so fast like i worry about sex in the sense that when I grew up, it was,
you know,
you saw a magazine first out in the woods,
somebody's brother left it out there.
And then you maybe touched a girl's boob.
And I'm talking about over the fucking sweater.
And then it was under the sweater,
but over the bra,
then you felt the boob.
Then maybe you went to,
you know,
those fucking natural steps.
And now you can just go to fucking fisting.com and or or amputee.porn.com and see shit that you can't un-fucking-see i think it's a world where
you know it's it's getting crazier and crazier and we've got little ladies and also i'm just
you know we have to take care of a vagina we have to take care of a vagina. We have to take care of a vagina, bro.
We got to guard it.
I don't mean just guard it.
Well, you don't have to.
Your wife does it.
But I did when she was little.
I had to clean her.
Yeah, I'm saying you got to take care of this.
You got to teach her how to wipe.
And I know periods are going to be coming and stuff.
And you can't be uncomfortable about that shit.
But I'm not.
I don't really care.
Like, my daughter's comfortable telling me.
She's already like, the neighbor's got their period. She'll tell me that. So I'm not i don't i don't really care like my daughter's comfortable telling me she's already like the neighbor's got their period she'll tell me that
so i'm like oh yeah and i just inside i'm just diarrhea diarrhea diarrhea but i'm just all here
right here and you know what helps with that yana's my marijuana marijuana helps she's yeah
so marijuana has helped me be a better parent it calms me down i don't right there that clip
was just clipped by fucking high times magazine marijuana's helped me be a better parent ryan sickler says marijuana helps single dad that
could be a great advertisement for marijuana single dad look man you know what my daughter
says you don't yell at me i go no i don't i don't yell at her but i do attribute it to that i really
do attribute it to just being trying to be calm and present like i raise my voice i get upset but i don't yet like i'm trying to break all that cycle shit like all i knew was
being yelled at you know what i mean like i i just knew volume and i'm like i better fucking do this
i didn't listen to what they were saying you're a pretty mellow guy though yeah until i don't need
to be yeah and it surprises a lot of people right oh no yeah the calmest ones are the ones you go go
berserk there's a motherfucking storm in here.
What I was going to say is, you know, I think, ironically,
the young kids are having less sex.
That's what I hear.
Because they're, like, exposed to so much, so it's not.
They're eating ass, but not fucking as much.
Yeah, they don't have that, like, cool, like, they're trying to find out.
You know, it's, like, too much.
So, like, not having sex is almost, like, the forbidden thing.
Because it's always, that's the thing everyone always wants,
is the subversive thing.
When you're young, everyone's trying to be subversive
or the other thing.
That's the cool thing, not the norm.
Right.
So now the norm is, like, you can see sex anytime you want.
So now, like, to be cool is, like, I'm not.
That's interesting.
Anti-establishment. Yeah. Oh, yeah, it's cool you like, ah, I'm not. That's interesting. Anti-establishment.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, it's cool you are watching sex again.
We're not.
We're the cool ones.
Yeah.
Because that's really the anatomy of what makes it cool.
That's what I'm telling my daughter.
Yeah.
It's like, hey, it's the less people are doing.
But also you have fentanyl out there now.
That's a big fear.
Listen, I've already had that conversation.
I can't believe.
So, unfortunately, a really good friend of
mine who i consider a brother his daughter um she got a hot shot in in baltimore and it killed her
and it wasn't like i'm not trying to be funny at all but it wasn't like a gratuitous amount
of cocaine it was just a little personal thing to go home that night after her shift or whatever and
have a little for herself and it was it was dirty and i feel bad for
a lot of people that that they say overdose that's not an overdose you were murdered you were poisoned
overdose was fucking someone that just does so much their heart gives out that's a fucking overdose
you got poisoned and um so she died and he came to see us and you you know, hug him and he's, he's crying.
I'm crying.
And we're talking about how you doing?
How's everything going?
And my daughter's right.
You know, kids are very perceptive.
She's also eight or seven at the time.
So we had flown into Philly to drive to ocean city cause it was just better flights and
shit.
And, um, we got a few hour ride to get down there.
And, um, she's like, Dad, what happened to his daughter?
And I was like, phew.
And I already know in Santa Monica High, some poor kid just wanted a Percocet.
Don't quote me on this, but I believe it might have been a football player or something.
And he was in pain.
He was just looking for something to get out of pain.
And he got a fucking dirty pill and it killed him.
So now they're starting to talk.
Finally, they're starting to talk in the kids school i'm seeing nfl commercials have it but i told her what happened and i told her what it's called and i was like they're because now they're
making them look like candy they're making them look like everything and you can get them on tiktok
my friend's mom showed me her teenage kids their friends are meeting people meeting a guy in a van at a park
jesus yeah and he's and all you have to do is reply with these certain icons and they'll come
and give you fucking pills and you don't know if it's laced or not you're just buying pills off
some dude in a van we didn't have to worry about that no kids it's crazy i'm saying this is a new
drug you can't like i know we sound like old men but it is not safe to do
drugs now it's not you never know what's in and who wants a fucking test shit before they do it
you know what i'm saying you got to do a test and then oh shit this had fentanyl on it we would have
died tonight if we didn't have this man fuck that so i told my daughter what it is i've told her
what you know i explained everything and now also with everything i've gone through where i'm allowed
to have cannabis um i've educated my daughter about cannabis and how it can be medicinal.
And it's not.
And alcohol is very different.
And still is worse.
Yeah, way worse.
And you don't fuck with.
And there's also these pills because she sees these things coming to house.
So my daughter's had to get an education on cannabis that I told her.
I said, you're about to get a cannabis education.
And I bet you most kids in your school aren't going to get it.
So I've had to teach her about that.
And when they say, you know, your dad's a loser or whatever, he smokes weed, just ignore it.
Just walk away.
Don't fight or nothing.
Mike, you smoke?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I go through phases, though.
Like, I can't do edibles anymore.
Me too.
Daily. Me too. Daily.
Daily phases.
There was one point where I was doing, like, making little hash pills.
Because I had a Kinect that got pure hash.
And I overdosed, basically, on as much as you could on hash.
To the point where I was, like, hallucinating and I lost my mind.
I had, like, a break.
Oh, wow.
And so, ever since then, I can't eat it but like yeah I
just love it one or two hits off a bowl at the end of the night it's just like
just enough is like send me into like happy town and then I'm good well then
that third puff I'm inconsolable when you did that when you had that hash over
those what that feel like I was in the shower crying oh my god staring at the
faucet to like please get me I was begging the water to get me out of it.
It was brutal.
You wanted to be sober.
I've been there where you're like, you want to be sober so bad.
Oh, yeah.
When like I've had those in high school.
I'm so high.
I'm just like, you pray for sobriety.
Like how long is this going to last?
Yeah, please.
This is in me for three hours?
Jesus Christ.
And a minute seems like a day.
It's like and that
never happens to you no yeah not on marijuana yeah not on alcohol now when you do shrooms what's that
like are you microdosing are you going all the way no i never go crazy crazy i'll go i don't
microdose um i'll just do you know a little bit enough that that gets me smiling and laughing and feeling good that's it
i don't i don't like i say a lot i don't like to be too i don't like to get too far away from
myself like i feel like cannabis marijuana is a drug that doesn't allow me to get too far away
from myself acid take me into a different dimension i'm not interested i'm not interested
don't you trip take me up here don't you trip on the shrooms a little bit sometimes i hear the wah wah wahs it
all depends on the fucking shrooms honestly but sometimes what are the wah wah wah when you hear
music and it's going whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa i uh i don't know if i should say names but when i was
in nashville i'll tell you after i went out with some friends there and they took me out on a tour
of the town day like a sunday day on tripping on shrooms best day i fucking ever had
it was so much goddamn fun and i laughed so fucking much have you been there to nashville
yeah you know the your greek uh the parthenon i don't know you didn't see it there when you were
there dude what's that fake parthenon it's a fake one but the greeks built it like when they they
came over here and built this thing but the thing, I saw people next to it that looked this big.
And I had to ask.
I'm like, listen, am I tripping?
Or is that fucking thing that big?
They're like, it's that big.
It's huge.
It's big, huh?
Yeah.
You should look it up and go next time you're there.
I will.
And it's in a gorgeous fucking park.
I don't know where it was, but it was awesome.
And it's right there in Nashville.
It's as big as the Parthenon?
No, hell no.
But it's still big as shit, but it's
not as big as the original. Well, it's got
to be pretty close for the people to be that small.
Well, we were kind of far away. Right.
And you were tripping on much of it. That's the one in Nashville, bro.
That shit is big, man. It's big.
Look at the people next to it. That shit is big.
I told you. I don't think it's as big as the
real, but it's fucking big. And here's the deal. It's a lot nicer
than the one in Athens because it looks new, dog.
Look at it. That's the Nashville Parthenon, bro.
I mean, that's it.
Look.
I'm glad I taught you something about Greece.
Yeah, you did.
I don't know why people are going to Greece to look at that shit.
It's all fucked up.
You've gone right to Nashville.
Look at it.
Why do you want to look up a beat up building?
We got a brand new one right here.
Look how little the people look.
Dude, they do look small.
And I was like, man, am I fucked up?
And they're like, nah, nah, nah.
That thing's big.
So the Greeks built that?
I think so.
I really don't know the history.
Oh, you made that up. I think they told me that
that day. Like, that was built by the Greeks
when they settled here. I guess there's some...
Was that told to you by someone who was also
a trippin'? Yeah, that was.
Wow.
The Parthenon is a full-scale
replica. Dude, it's a full-scale replica.
William Crawford Smith ate part of the
Tennessee Centennial. I guess maybe not. Oh, it is full-scale. Holy shit. So it's the actual-scale replica william crawford smith a part of the tennessee centennial i guess maybe not yeah oh it is full scale holy shit so it's the actual size all right i didn't
know that either sorry oh shit built in 1897 a long time ago look at that marvel of fucking
construction i want to say to the greeks too like listen i'm greek that you guys are
you guys want to talk about how old that building is. Yeah, that's impressive.
But ours is also old.
It's 150, 60 years old, dude.
Wow.
How come nobody talks about that in Nashville as like, that should be the main tourist attraction?
That and a Nate Bargatze comedy show.
Yeah, for sure.
I'm just surprised no one told you specifically.
You're so Greek.
You fucking ooze Greek.
You love being
greek i know you're the greek fucking i'm a little upset that it wasn't built by a greek yes smith is
definitely not greek not greek is sickler sickler don't sound italian either no so my grandfather
was german or something it's all like european mutt yeah it's dutch welsh all this shit there's
sure there's german in there but but my mom is
full-blood italian all her relatives and then my dad's mom is italian so on my mom's side it's
devito on my dad's side it's de memo my grandfather my paternal grandfather was sickler he's the one
that fucked it all up so you're mostly italian yeah with a little bit of sickler in there which
is like probably some of that mutt up there. Yeah. What kind of Baltimore guy was he?
Was he pulling crabs out of the Chesapeake Bay?
My dad was the crew chief.
So he worked originally at BWI, Baltimore, Washington, which is now.
What did he do there?
He was the crew chief for Pan Am.
What does that mean?
So he ran the whole fucking shit outside for the planes.
So if you're doing uh anything that had
to do with loading them up getting them ready like my dad was in charge of that that's cool
shit he worked for national airlines first which went under got bought out by pan am and i remember
pan am going under because i remember my dad being like i'm getting laid off and we were like what
does that mean you know all that shit so yeah, he worked at the airport doing all that shit.
I wore his work jersey.
It says crew chief on my first stand-up show ever.
His work jersey.
I like that.
Yeah, it's a work shirt.
He's still a hero to you.
He's got a Pan Am jacket.
Dude, you just pushed your dad in the NBA.
He works at an airport.
He's got to throw on his jersey a little bit.
Huh?
Yeah, it is.
Are you a baseball fan?
Yeah.
Do you have a Tops card?
I have a – No, your own. no your own no no i don't all right don't forget to remind me when i leave here i'm gonna introduce you
oh shit i gotta see him while he's here i'm supposed to go see the tops office oh um but i
got a tops baseball card made after me they do comedians they do this i guess originally when
cards came out it was popular figures.
So, like, Houdini would have a card or fucking Ringling Brothers or whatever.
But baseballs will took off.
And that's where they leaned into that.
Yeah.
So, it was more about popular.
So, they have this one line, Topps.
It's called, oh, fucking forget, Gunter or something.
Allen and Gunter.
But it's Topps.
And it'll be, like, comedians mixed in there. So
Brody Stevens has one, Segura, Ari, a lot of comedians have baseball cards. And they give you
a relic card. It's like a game-worn jersey card. So I took my dad's jersey, his work shirt, and
they cut it up into pieces, and then they put it in a card. And then it just goes out there to the
masses. And I purposely did that for two reasons.
One, because this is the closest I'll ever come to being in the goddamn any kind of Hall of Fame.
All right. Having a baseball card. Right. And I wanted him to go in there with me.
It's the shirt I wore on my first stand up set.
But the awesome thing and I don't know how I had the fucking thought of this, but people come to my shows with it and have me autograph it.
And not all of them, but every time I see it, it's like a fucking like, oh, yeah, it's fucking awesome.
It's like a hello again.
That's incredible.
So it's in the card.
It's in the pack with baseball players?
Yeah.
You're in there with Jeter.
You're in there with fucking you name it.
They're all Cedric Mullins.
I'll give you some Orioles.
Gunnar Henderson. you're in there.
Orion Mountcastle. That's awesome.
So your dad was a crew chief. That's good.
That means like you didn't. He was a man.
He had something good. He had a good job at the airport.
He had a good job. Because you know if your dad was like a bag
handler, you'd have to lie to your
friends at school and say your dad was a captain. I got the
jacket. Yeah, you'd have to go, my dad's a captain of the
plane. You'd have to hide it the whole time.
Crew chief is dope. He has the word chief in it and he's in charge of dudes
and he had a fucking uni at a work uni he had this did he have his name on the thing l sickler
crew chief oh man i still have the jacket that pan am shit i'm telling you it's worth so much
money these days it's crazy people there's so many people into every fucking thing i wear that
jacket out people you shouldn't wear that jacket that's worth mom like it's it's worth like three hundred dollars right
i'm gonna wear it's not like no it's not like ten thousand dollars because i would be like hey dad
sorry here yeah fuck that yeah and your mom where's she my mom still lives in uh maryland
what did she do uh she's retired now but she worked for social security nice um you're a real
working class baltimore kid all of it yeah my my grandfather worked at bethlehem steel yeah oh yeah
yeah italian or the the the sickler yeah sickler big dude my grandmom when he went to war my
grandmom did all the fucking you know rosieeter shit. She used to tell me about how they would all chip in and help out all the ladies.
Yeah, we're the first generation of like, I'm going to do theater.
That's just us.
It is the fucking truth.
Your dad probably won't.
We're all TikTok and shit.
They're like, what the fuck are these kids doing?
We're going to do theater stuff.
I also say this, too.
I'm doing my radio show, daddy.
We're the walk-it-off generation.
The thing about the honeydew I'm learning is there's a lot of messy bros.
There's a lot of guys out there.
We're, as men, and I'm not boo-hooing about men or anything.
I'm just saying the pocket that our generation is in is coming out of guys who went to war and are like, what are you being a pussy about?
Fucking walk it off.
And we're like, but I have feelings, and I don't even know what these are or what to do with them.
And I'm trying to stop these cycles of trauma over here while I feel these feelings.
Is it okay to cry?
Can I be sad? You know, that kind of shit. walk it off you fucking pussy you go back to a time of football like how
do you want me to tackle that guy you're gonna put your head down you're gonna drive your neck
right into his chest what you got a helmet on pussy that's right don't be a bitch this is that
kind of shit it's it's relatively new yeah and we're trying to teach our kids being nice is
relatively it is yeah trying to teach our kids like that so they can move on and keep going and going and going.
But we're in a fucking shitty fucking pocket, bro.
It is.
Well, it's probably the best time to be alive in the history of humanity in this place.
In America now, this is the best any humans have ever had.
Post-pandemic?
Yes.
Yeah. I i just saying
like in general this era of medical technology man yeah fuck that i mean we'd both be dead if
it wasn't for technology yeah i'd have died somebody would have shoved a bayonet through
me when i was 16 yeah or even if you didn't have medical help with your fucking things oh definitely
yeah yeah that's a honeydew you know the honeyd know, the honeydew is on a collectible DVD.
DVD.
There you go.
You know, people listen to old.
People go back and listen to old ones.
Yeah.
So, but we're also like, I think when you pull out, it's very new.
The comfort to be able to sit around and figure shit out and prove yourself
is so new.
Yeah.
It is so new.
This is all new.
Like I love that.
This is,
you know,
we all,
we are,
we are modern day family businesses.
This is your family business.
We're not brick and mortar.
This is my family business.
You know,
Tom and Christina created that YMH empire.
That's their family fucking business.
This is who we are these days.
That's a good point.
I never thought it's brought back.
It went from very corporate, and then now that's broken up, and it's like family business.
This is Mike's family business, and his family is him.
Even still, like—
You just need a family.
You need a family now.
Yeah, that's all you need.
The institution of hustle and work ethic is there.
There's a lot of people that had their own fucking businesses,
whether it was a restaurant or whatever,
and that's their family business.
But it's brick and mortar.
Today, we've adapted,
and this is our fucking family business.
So I still feel like all the shit that,
I wonder what it's going to be next.
You know what I mean?
Like, I want to know
what that's going to look like next
because, you know,
we're also in a great time for comedy right now
it's the best time for comedy yeah it's more comedians selling tickets doing theaters and
more people want to come out and fucking laugh and feel good about themselves i think it's on
the heels of the pandemic people want to laugh they were traumatized the pandemic was traumatizing
a lot of people lost people a A lot of people lost their jobs.
It messed up everyone's psyche.
But also, go to a sporting event with a family of three or four.
It'll break you.
Yeah.
To go fucking movies these days.
You're dropping, for a family, you're dropping over $100 motherfucking dollars.
Right.
So the entertainment has gone inside a lot for things like sports and movies.
And that's why I think they like to come out and see live music, live comedy.
Interesting.
It's also more affordable to go to a comedy show,
maybe not a fucking music show, Taylor fucking Swift or some bullshit,
but to go to a comedy show is affordable,
at least affordable where you're going to have a night out,
you're going to drink, you're going to have a good time,
and you're going to feel good.
You're not going to be like,
we just spent fucking $1,500 and the goddamn
Steelers lost. You know what I mean? You walk
away like, we could have fucking stayed home and did this shit.
That's why I'll never pay for a Super Bowl
ticket. Why? Because I know
what it's going to cost, and if my team
loses, I'll be like, I've put
a stay at home for $5,000.
Whom?
Stay at home.
Just get a stay at home.
When you said Steelers, when meant you meant when you said whom,
it's like that's the Ravens.
Steelers.
It's the Ravens or that was the Eggles.
Yep, Eggles.
And that's it.
That's right.
You guys do share an accent.
Baltimore and Philly.
Philly.
Guys, go follow Ryan Sickler.
I love you to death.
You're a great dude.
You're a warm guy. Same. I love you. I just like meeting to death. You're a great dude. You're a warm guy. Same. I love you.
I just like meeting warm people.
You're a good dude. I like when you sit like that because I know
you're comfortable with me. Yeah, I'm comfortable.
I like it. It feels good.
He's hilarious.
His show is one of the best.
Honeydew. You gotta check it out. And of course,
obviously, like we said, gotta check out
Lefty's son on his
channel. That's it check it
out follow the honeydew y'all and um which when we did the first time not to go on too long but
I remember I kind of organically figured out why it was called the honeydew because I made a joke
on the first one you maybe don't remember I was like something about like I feel like we're at a
Greek dinner and you were like that's exactly what we're doing here man that's
what made me came up with it and you're like oh yeah you were like you were sitting at a diner
i was and you there was some melon in front of you everybody had honeydew left on the fucking
tables and i was like oh this is a fucking perfectly good fruit that most people just
toss away and i was like oh that's who i am in life and then i wanted to talk to everybody who's either
been that or has had moments of that and and just highlight that and laugh at that because i'm so
sick of everybody like i said i'm so sick of everybody's fake ass lives on social media none
of it's for social media is not real it's not real not real highlight highlight the low points
lights light highlight the low points. Lights.
Highlight the low lights.
Damn it.
It was almost a perfect exit.
Thank you, dude.
For real.
Thank you, brother.
Stop drinking regular big brand sodas.
Start drinking the Giannis Papasour approved Brooklyn Cannery sodas.
Get on the new wave, dude.
Brooklyncannery.com.
Do you drink them in your crib?
Yes, I do.
Do you order them?
Yeah, I order them one time.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Now, do you pour them in a glass or do you drink them right out of the can?
No, I drink them right out the can.
Right out of the can.
Yeah, and I put it right into the recycling bin
so I feel like I'm doing a good thing.
Here's the thing.
I enjoy a nice ginger ale once in a while.
Mm-hmm.
Even better when it's 22 calories
and it's a real ginger beer.
Oh, yeah. Brooklyn Cannery uses
all natural sweeteners, okay?
Monk fruit, stevia,
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You don't have to feel so guilty when you're drinking
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If you want a ginger ale, you drink the ginger beer.
The Key Lime Jalapeno, I think they're the only ones who do it.
It's delicious.
There's nobody else putting those flavors together like that.
The Key Lime, and it has a nice little kick with the jalapeno.
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Chris Minetti
Who's buying the history
Hyena sign
Jesse's gonna meet him in a parking lot
Yeah
That's exactly what he
We said meet him in a parking lot
And Chris Minetti go
Oh you mean the office?
That's where I'm used to doing business
Yeah
And he's bringing cash
He's bringing fucking cash
He's bringing cash
And there's going to be a red dot site in Jesse's head
Yeah
Hopefully Jesse's makes it
Yeah
So get rid of the history hyena sign
Good riddance
Bye bye
215-750-3730
For Chris Minetti Financial Services
If you want to get your check cash
In the Philly South Jersey area
Or if you want to buy a sign for him
I'm sure he's going to sell it
Resell it for a higher price
Because he's getting a good deal And all the money's going to the show We're just going to resell it for a higher price. It's going right on eBay. Because he's getting a good deal,
and all the money's going to the show.
We're just going to use it for another camera, whatever.
So thank you, Chris Minetti,
and rest in peace to a great comedy show.
Next up, Aaron Lee for the free.art.
I don't think I have to say anything more
because I just think that this is running on this kid's credit card at this point.
Yeah, pretty much.
But if you like new artists in Hawaii and you want to support them, but six months ago, go ahead and subscribe.
That's right.
For the free Todd Art.
Go check it out.
Exclusiveautoshipping.com.
If you want to move your car, if you bought your car out of state, exclusiveautoshipping.com.
Student and military discounts apply.
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Manly Girly Studios. Hold on a second. I and military discounts apply. Move your wheels without moving your wheels. Manly Gertley Studios.
Hold on a second.
I want to analyze that.
Move your wheels
without moving your
wheels.
What do you mean?
So he moves cars,
right?
Yes.
But you don't have
to drive your car.
So you're moving
your wheels without
moving your wheels.
I love it.
That's gay.
Jared always wants
to try to catch me
up on that one.
I know what I'm
talking about.
Did you catch it
automatically?
No.
No, I didn't catch
it either.
But then when he explains it, it does make sense.
But I knew it made sense.
It made sense in some way.
Okay.
Manly Girly Studios, Jared's favorite podcast network.
Yeah, I listen to them every day.
Where are the Gen Zers out there for a side of fries?
Check out a side of fries.
It's a perfect variety podcast to keep you in the loop.
In the loop.
Get to know them better
at Manly Girly Show,
at the Manly Girly Show,
Gringo and the Rough,
and their new show,
which I'm not going to say.
It's called Jewanon.
Yeah.
You're not going to be able
to make that into a successful show.
Not at all.
Dives into conspiracy theories
and unexplained phenomena and just a pinch of Jew hate. Not at all. send off their merch. How funny would it be if you're walking down the street with a Ju-Anon shirt or a manly girl
or a gringo in the rough shirt?
Even if you don't listen,
which you don't,
go get the merch.
It's funny.
Send me the merch.
Send me the merch.
Message us on Patreon.
We will wear your merch.
They made it, I think.
So send it to us.
They put it on their store.
Yeah, so we got to give them.
Yeah, send the merch.
Just message on Patreon. We'll send you the address to send them good. Yeah, send the merch. Just message on Patreon.
We'll send you the address to send it to.
Our fave.
People loved the...
People were talking.
People were like,
thank God I listened to the end
to hear Sam Gubera's ad read last week.
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What if I just want you to play with my
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Did you go to Nate's
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It's so wild to think
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wild. When I saw those pictures, I was like,
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Okay.
Did anyone read this?
Do you think he really wrote this story
Or he had ChatGBT write it?
Hey Jussie
Another updated copy
Here we go
It's a review by ChatGBT
Channeling Kanye
Just peeped the city
Shit straight up crazy
Like a movie on paper
Gang wars
Political battles
And one OG ex-military dude Holding it down If you're about that life Check it out Urban mayhem Thank you, our favorite Eastern Hemi with Nofumare.
Look at this.
His name is cute, Nofumare, Eastern Hemi,
but will suck cock for a penny.
Go check out his novel.
Where can they find it?
Wherever they find it.
You got to scroll up.
Oh, Cezard.
Cezard.
C-E-R-A-Z-A-R-D.com.
Cezard.com.
Check out his novel.
Also follow the city graphic novel on Instagram.
I did see the art.
The art's dope. Yeah? Yeah, I looked at some of the city graphic novel on Instagram. I did see the art. The art's dope.
Yeah?
Yeah, I looked at some of the pages.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Can you read a chapter?
You like to read.
You're an artsy-fartsy.
Yeah, yeah.
Maybe I'll do like a full review.
Yeah, yeah.
Can you do that?
It'll be fun.
Definitely do that.
Put those new glasses to work.
Yeah, put those reading glasses to work, Grandma.
Yeah.
I'll huff and I'll bluff and I'll blow your house down.
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I mean, the guy knows what he's doing.
It's a breath of fresh air from Sam.
I mean, Sam wrote a novel.
Yeah.
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