Yannis Pappas Hour - Slut Shaming NATO

Episode Date: June 9, 2023

Brand new episode coming at you very late. From now on episodes will air on Sundays and bonus eps will air on Patreon Wednesdays. This one is all about having some fun with the theories on why the Rus...sia Ukraine war is happening. Yanni goes bare knuckles on this one. Yannis Pappas Hour is your new favorite podcast. Comedian Yannis Pappas wants to bring us all together by ripping everyone apart. Yannis Pappas identifies as a certified historian, P.R. Rep, social scientist, journalist and gender dysphoria expert. Join us every week to learn the future, analyze the past and defend the un-defendable.   See Yanni do stand up, live Dates & Cities below All tickets: https://www.yannispappascomedy.com   Boston July 8 Poughkeepsie, July 21-22 Long Island Aug 17 Salt Lake City aug 4-5 Dallas Aug 24-26 Springfield l, MO sept 7-9 Calgary Sept 22–23 FORTË Wayne, Indiana Sept 29-30 Red Bank, NJ Oct 14 San Fran Oct 27-28 New York Nov 4 Providence Nov 10-11 Phoenix Nov 16-18 Spokane Dec 1-2 Tulsa Dec 8-9 Louisville Dec 15-16 Toronto March 23 Watch Yanni’s stand up special: https://youtu.be/ArlCFemEDvQ   Join our highlights page for highlight clips from the episodes: https://youtube.com/channel/UCfMy34qIYYy7XiRaHKO1ykw   New episodes every Sunday and new bonus episodes every Wednesday at https://www.patreon.com/yannispappashour?utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator    

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 What's up, everybody? Welcome to an all-new, brand-new Giannis Pappas Hour. Guess what? I have reproduced again. I got another girl. I'm a girl dad. I posted a photo of my wife and my kid to promote my dates coming up because I want to monetize my family immediately. We're going to be talking about the Ukraine, the Soviet Union, and slut-shaming NATO on this episode. Is it cool to slut-shame NATO? Was it their fault?
Starting point is 00:00:29 Is it their fault that Putin attacked the Ukraine? Well, why was NATO asking for it? Ukraine was walking around all sexy, walking home late at night wearing a miniskirt, alone in the park. Of course, Russia was going to rape it. Enjoy this episode. We just got limited monetized.
Starting point is 00:00:52 Guys, for all my dates, go to my website, yannispappascomedy.com. Also, for our bonus episodes, patreon.com slash yannispappasour. I will be listing all the dates at the end of the episode because we were really trying
Starting point is 00:01:03 to get you to stick around. It's really a catch-22. Either I tell fans where I'm going to be at the beginning of the episode when they're listening, and then people tune out, or I do it later. It's a catch-22. But I've created another girl. It's all done.
Starting point is 00:01:20 My little girl is here. We took her to the pediatrician She's not an alcoholic Thank God Because all babies are jaundiced They get a little yellow And then the first thing
Starting point is 00:01:32 The pediatrics Remember, pediatricians They got a shtick We talked about that In a previous episode It's got to be the easiest doctor job But also with the risk of the worst Right?
Starting point is 00:01:44 So it's like people Cancer doctors have the worst job because it's rarely good news. Rarely. They rarely go, you got cancer, but here's the good news is that I got some leftover Chick-fil-A that you can have because I couldn't finish. I ordered extra chicken fingers from Chick-fil-A. So you do have cancer, but also you want some of my Chick-fil-A? So it's always bad, right?
Starting point is 00:02:07 I'm rarely good. But pediatricians, you're basically a clown. Always happy. You got your shtick. Only once in a while do you have to say, when it's bad,
Starting point is 00:02:18 it's really fucking bad. It's like nuclear war. It's like, you know, it's not a skirmish. It's a nuclear war. When something goes bad, know, it's not a skirmish. It's a nuclear war. When something goes bad, you got horrific news. Like when you're like, ah, your baby's retarded.
Starting point is 00:02:34 You know, you're like, oh, your baby's dead? Your baby's died? Oh, your baby's got no nose? Your baby was born without a foot? It's bad. It's bad, bad, bad. Your baby's got this rare disease, sickle aliac. And you're going, what? Like, I don't even know how they do. They prep them with
Starting point is 00:02:50 like a balloon or a horn when they come in. Wait, wait, wait. Here's the good news. Here's your daughters with daddy pin. Your daughters with daddy pin. That's the good news. The bad news is, is nobody's going to be you don't have to protect your daughter because nobody's going to be able to fuck her because she's going to be born without feet. So that's the bad news. Because, you know, my pediatrician gives us a daddy with daughters pin. He goes, you're in part of an exclusive club. We got to protect our daughters.
Starting point is 00:03:18 You know, it's the whole joke about, you know, the old cliche joke, don't let anyone date your daughter. So I think that's how I would do it. I give the pin and then go, okay. But also, you're not going to have to wear this pin And you're not going to have to worry about it Because your daughter's not going to be sought after By the able-bodied community So it's, you know, it can get bad
Starting point is 00:03:37 It can be very bad But all babies are jaundiced They're yellow, right? I didn't remember that from my first baby But my second baby, they're all jaundiced They're yellow Yeah Right I didn't remember that From my first baby But my second baby They're all jaundiced They're yellowish
Starting point is 00:03:49 Which is the same thing That happens to alcoholics When their liver starts failing They become yellow Yeah Right They start To look like
Starting point is 00:03:57 An Asian slur Right So That would be my shtick Since all babies are jaundiced I would come in And my first joke would be my shtick Since all babies are jaundiced I would come in And my first joke would be As a pediatrician
Starting point is 00:04:09 I'd go How much does this baby drink? Is your baby a drinker? How many days a week Would you say your baby drinks? Yeah That would be my first joke And then the parents would look
Starting point is 00:04:21 And they'd laugh And I'd go You know And then I'd do my horn Or Or the daddy's with daughter pin That's your opening bit That would be my opening bit
Starting point is 00:04:29 That would be my How y'all feeling y'all good Yeah That would be my How you feeling y'all good And you'd do a closer at the end Like stay off the Similac cake Stay off the Similac cake
Starting point is 00:04:36 What did you do different to your hair I twisted it But it's always twisted But it looks a little different Well if you ask some people It was matted before. But I twisted it. Take two strands and you twist it.
Starting point is 00:04:47 Yeah. Here's the deal. We can always live as one. Yeah. But we'll always have separate barbershops. Separate barbershops. Yeah. You know, the thing is, when integration happened, the one place that was like, this doesn't matter to us, was barbershops.
Starting point is 00:05:03 You know, you just, it's just, they're separate but equal, hopefully. Yeah, yeah. I mean, they are segregated. Barbershops are segregated. But they should be. But that's the funny thing, is that they should be. They need them to be. Yeah, that would be a funny movie if someone tried to integrate barbershops,
Starting point is 00:05:18 and black people and white people resisted it for the right reasons. Right? Yeah, like, if you think I'm going to get a haircut to Natasha Benningfield, you got another thing coming, dog. It's just not going to happen. It's not going to happen. White people don't understand your hair. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:05:32 You know? And you don't understand their love for Grease, the movie. There's certain things that's like, it's never going to cross. Yeah. Like, I understand why black people would look at white girls strange because they're watching Grease and they're like, they're going, what is're like, they're going, what is this?
Starting point is 00:05:46 And they're going, there's something white about liking Grease. Very white. And also, it seemed like she was admitting to rape a little bit in that song. But yeah, it's very white.
Starting point is 00:05:55 Yeah, you could do that back in the day. It's cold outside. You could stand in front of the door and convince a girl to stay, you know, back in that day. Like,
Starting point is 00:06:04 yeah, triple platinum, like, dog, that day. Like, yeah, triple platinum. Like, dog, that was a felony, too, he just committed. Yeah, we had this photographer who took the pictures of her baby right when, you know, at the hospital. They have a photographer that comes and bangs you out for a couple hundo to take these photos. Yeah. And you do it.
Starting point is 00:06:16 And I had to do it because we did it for our other daughter. And now I want to make sure that whatever I did for my other daughter, I do for this daughter so they don't hate each other, which they're inevitably gonna, but they'll be close when they're older because of sibling rivalry. It is what it is, right? But we got this chick. She happened to be like one of these radical lesbos who had two kids
Starting point is 00:06:34 but was trying to tell us about all these songs that were now condoned rape. And I don't remember. She was talking about all these old movies and she was like, but you watch it now and it's creepy. And my wife was going like, I don't even know She was talking about all these old movies, and she was like, but you watch it now, and it's creepy. And my wife was going like, I don't even know what you're talking about.
Starting point is 00:06:48 And I don't know. I haven't seen any of them. But it was an uncomfortable conversation to be having while we were trying to maneuver my two-year-old daughter into vanity poses for pictures to talk about whether Baby, It's Cold Outside is about sexual assault. It's like, can we just put the bow on my baby's head and take these pictures?
Starting point is 00:07:12 We're trying to get out of this hospital, and I'm paying for the pictures. I'm not paying for the conversation. That's a really weird. I'm not paying for the conversation with a progressive. What was her haircut, though? You know what her haircut was. Yeah. Right?
Starting point is 00:07:26 Because you can't judge a book by its cover, but you can definitely judge a conversation by its haircut. She had a closer fade than I did. Yeah. She did. It was long on the top and then just bald on one side. Her haircut kind of reminded me of Nicola Jokic's haircut. Yeah. It looked like she was going off to the military.
Starting point is 00:07:44 Mm-hmm. She had a military cut. She had a Marines cut. She looked like she was going off to the military She had a military cut She had a Marines cut She looked like she was going to fight with Leif Erikson She did I mean She looked like Tyler Hero She looked like Tyler Hero So anyway
Starting point is 00:07:57 You know that would be my shtick So my baby's here So that's why we're late Congrats That's why this episode Thank you very much Thank you very much. Thank you very much. Jared, how great does Jesse look in his Ted Blundy glasses, though?
Starting point is 00:08:11 They've worked for you, dude. The glasses just look good. Yeah, they do work. They work, dude. You look good with glasses. You also look like you junkyard dive for spokes from a bicycle. Say that again? Like you junkyard dive for spokes from a bicycle.
Starting point is 00:08:24 Junkyard diveived? Yeah. Oh, I went, okay. Yeah. You know, it happens to me too, Doug. Your brain works quick and sometimes your mouth needs to catch up. Yeah, I said junkyard dived? You said junkyard dog. It sounded like you said junkyard dog. Oh, I'm sorry. But it's a good joke, I think, but it was just sometimes
Starting point is 00:08:39 your mouth needs to catch up to your brain. Sometimes when I look at Jesse, I get scared. Yeah, because he looks like he's basically saying you look like you're a substitute computer teacher that will molest children. Right. Yeah. With those glasses.
Starting point is 00:08:50 But his joke was that I found a bicycle in the garbage. Yeah, you look like you take different parts and make art out of it. I'd build a bike. Yeah. With bound parts. Yeah. I was just getting the...
Starting point is 00:08:59 Yeah. I think... Look, that's inventive. Either way with those glasses, my body's going to be decomposing in the bathtub. Here's the thing, though. Yours was creative and inventive. You would have got it out right. Here's the thing about some of your analogies.
Starting point is 00:09:12 Sometimes they're so good, they require an explanation. Yeah. Right? I went for the hacky old one, like, oh, look, he's got molester glasses on because he looks like a white guy from the 70s. Let's be honest. Any guy who's white, who's dressed like he is from the 70s let's be honest any guy who's white who's dressed like he is from the 70s and has like big rim glasses you're like that's a child molester face automatically with the receding hairline because for some reason no child molesters have full head
Starting point is 00:09:36 of hair no something about losing your hair makes you susceptible to want to molest kids yeah or at least be stereotyped as such a prerequisite to raping kids is hymns. Hymns, right. Get hymns or else you'll rape kids. I'm sure they'd be thrilled about that ad. Whatever,
Starting point is 00:09:52 what was that last ad they did like our thing because we made a joke? It was, yeah, for Native Sunscreen. Yeah, well, yeah, maybe cut this part out. But no, leave it in.
Starting point is 00:10:00 Who gives a shit? We're done with them anyway. I don't want to promote you anymore anyway. But anyway, they got upset because we made a joke that native sunscreen was for white people. Yeah. I mean, what about truth in advertising?
Starting point is 00:10:11 You're advertising on podcasts. You're not a Sprite commercial. You don't have LeBron lying to people. You have a fucking couple of comedians sitting in an old living room telling jokes to 50,000 people. This is real shit. Can we tell the truth? The truth is white people use sunscreen. What's the big deal?
Starting point is 00:10:29 They hated that we said this is an advertisement for whitey. And they said we had to redo the episode. You got a DM, right, from somebody that said, I have a mixed daughter and she needs sunscreen to live. Well, yeah, actually there was someone who got mad about it. Yeah, they got mad at me. They said, I don't know what I'm talking about. Yeah, they got mad at you because they're like mixed people.
Starting point is 00:10:44 You're like, shut up. We're doing comedy here. We're not going for accuracy. We're not going for accuracy. Okay? We're not political pundits trying to solve the Ukraine crisis on a fucking podcast. And if anyone's taking sunscreen advice from this podcast, they should burn anyway. Yeah, but
Starting point is 00:10:59 isn't that funny when someone clearly messaged you a three paragraph DM about how you're wrong, that mixed babies don't need sunscreen? Because you just want to redirect them to better help. You just want to send them a link and go, this, you have a mental illness. We're a comedy podcast. We're never going for accuracy.
Starting point is 00:11:21 Whenever I'm talking, I'm trying to elicit a laugh. I'm trying to get fucking child molester face over there to giggle. That's my whole existence. We're not trying to figure out who exactly is going to use fucking native sunscreen because we don't give a shit. Not only do I give a shit whether you use sunscreen or not, I don't give a shit about native. I don't care about native.
Starting point is 00:11:43 The deodorant sucks. I sweated right through it, and I don't want to smell like fucking cotton candy. Alright? I'm an adult. Why am I smelling like goddamn licorice? I don't want to smell like a fucking M&M store when I go in and order a scotch. Okay? When you sweat, it smells like the carnivals in town.
Starting point is 00:11:59 What kind of stupid idea was that to name deodorants fucking after candies? You know what's actually funny? It's the perfect deodorant for a pedophile. It that to name deodorants fucking after candies. You know what's actually funny? It's the perfect deodorant for a pedophile. It is the perfect deodorant for a pedophile. Now, look, I'm joking. I use Native and I like it. I do.
Starting point is 00:12:12 I got it on right now. Well, you got to understand what these fucking ad people need to understand. It's like that's you got to just go with the flow of what a comedy podcast is. You can't ask us to deliver A Sprite-like commercial We're gonna shit on it They don't even give you a copy They give you They want you to ad-lib
Starting point is 00:12:29 And then they don't like When you ad-lib It's crazy They don't like when you ad-lib When you shit on their product It's like What do you want me to do? I'm here to rip everything apart
Starting point is 00:12:37 What do you want me to do? You want me to be nice? They should just give you a script You're the contractor of comedy Yeah If you want to be nice Go listen to the Tim Dillon show He's a sweetheart
Starting point is 00:12:47 So anyway Shout out to Native We're not getting paid for that But now a lot of people know what their name is So I don't know You look sort of like a lesbian basketball player today What do you mean?
Starting point is 00:13:04 There's a I don't know You look younger I do? Yeah Nice Don't you feel like he looks younger? Yeah
Starting point is 00:13:09 He's looking good Yeah I don't know what it is He's looking clean He's looking clean I got a high taper fade Instead of a low taper fade When you mix youth
Starting point is 00:13:16 Yeah When you mix like the young youthful look With clean It just It's like an equation It equals lesbian look Yeah Yeah like
Starting point is 00:13:24 Cause you're not a You're not a like big big jaw, five o'clock shadow type of kid. You're like a smooth. You look like you could be dating the Center for Liberty. Yeah. What's her name? Stewart? Brianna Stewart. Brianna Stewart.
Starting point is 00:13:40 I mean, take a look at Brianna Stewart. If her and Brittany Griner were coming to the courts, I'd say, what's up, fellas? You want to play two on two? I mean, Brittany Griner and Christina Stewart. There she is. I mean, when she puts makeup on, some people are born with different...
Starting point is 00:14:01 Look, gender is a little bit of a spectrum. A little bit. Sometimes you don't even need to have gender affirming care to be on the spectrum. She's a girl, obviously, but I'm saying I think she might have been born with a little more testosterone. I don't know. She's a girl.
Starting point is 00:14:20 But she's a big girl. She got off at the female exit late. She got... She's not... Yeah. Some of these girls are... But she's a big girl. She got off at the female exit late. She's not. Yeah. Some of these girls are. It was like she was going to the male exit, and the last turn, her GPS said, oh, you got to make a right. She said, oh, God, let me make a right. Real quick.
Starting point is 00:14:36 If Brittany Griner said, hey, I'm trans. I identify as a guy. I want to start hormone therapy. I think even the most progressive gender affirming care would go, you're good. You don't need it. You're good. Yeah. Yeah. It's gone like you already, you're there. Yeah. You're there, Brittany. Like Brittany with a short haircut. Let's go to Brittany
Starting point is 00:14:55 with a short haircut. I mean, look, it's Jared Harvick without the goatee. I mean, there's Brittany. We're all happy to have Brittany back. We are. We're happy to have Brittany back. And we're just joking. What's her name?
Starting point is 00:15:09 Christina Stewart? Brianna Stewart. Brianna Stewart is a beautiful, beautiful chick, too. I mean, it's just, look, I'm not trying to be mean. She knows. Everyone knows, right? She's like 6'10". She's the only basketball player that can box out with her ears.
Starting point is 00:15:23 Right. She's got a big face. You know, I got small beady eyes, so I always beat myself up too. I mean, they're not that beady. I can see your eyes.
Starting point is 00:15:34 Yeah, and look, she's pretty, dog. I mean, you know, she's got a little bit of a, you know, she's pretty. If you squish, she kind of looks like
Starting point is 00:15:39 Christina Hutchinson. Yeah, I mean, if you close your eyes, she looks like, I don't know if you're watching The Liberty or Guys Be Fucked. Yeah, listen, she's pretty. If you close your eyes, she looks like... I'm not sure if you're watching the Liberty or Guys Be Fucked. Yeah, listen, she's pretty. If you close your eyes, she looks like Jennifer Aniston.
Starting point is 00:15:49 But you have to close your eyes. Close them real tight. No, she's beautiful. She is. We're all different. I like diversity of looks. I would love if... I don't know if she's straight. Is she straight?
Starting point is 00:15:59 I don't think so. I mean, if you were a gambling man, what would you put on? See, here's the thing. None of us have any idea because we're not Liberty. We're not WNBA fans, which is wrong of us. I apologize for that in advance. But none of us actually know. Seriously, what would you guess, you know, is her sexual orientation?
Starting point is 00:16:23 I'm going to go there's a 97% chance she does not like guys. What do you think? Yeah, I'm going to side with you on that one. Jesse, what do you think? Yeah. Yeah, now they say you can't judge a book by its cover, but you can definitely judge a lesbian
Starting point is 00:16:37 by her height and her fucking voice. Sport and voice. There she is with Yeah So we nailed it And I don't know why sometimes You know you used to be able to call that street smarts Now look you don't want to You don't want to generalize You don't want to stereotype
Starting point is 00:16:55 You don't want to do those things But sometimes the chances are You know things do kind of follow what you think they do Sometimes you got to trust your gut Sometimes you just go like, all right, look, if she was straight, I'd be surprised. You know what I'm saying? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:17:10 I'd be surprised. There's a really good basketball player in the WNWA who does have your haircut. And that's what made me think of it. I can't remember her name, but she's one of the best players. She's like one of the five best players in the league. And so that's what made me say it. It's not because you look like Brittany Griner.
Starting point is 00:17:27 I'm just joking. No, it's okay. It's the hair. You said I look like a lesbian before, so it's okay. Yeah, but you know, when I shave, I look like a lesbian as well. We don't have manly faces. You don't. We really don't.
Starting point is 00:17:36 Yeah, I look like Melissa Etheridge when I don't shave. Yeah. Jesse would still look like a guy if you have a guy's face. Yeah. Me and you, we would transition nicely. We'd look like kindergarten teachers. We would look like sweet, sweet ladies. You guys are pretty.
Starting point is 00:17:50 If we pumped our... I'm already got estrogen in me because I eat tofu and I cry on the road. You cut Jared off on that joke. What was he about to say? He was waiting to hit you with that, crying on the road. So, Brittany Griner, Sue Bird. Sue Bird's also a lesbian. She's from Long Island.
Starting point is 00:18:08 Rihanna Stewart, lesbian. Diana Teruso, lesbian. Elena Della Donna. These are all some of the best. They're lesbians. Now, why? Why are so many athletes lesbian? Is there something about playing sport?
Starting point is 00:18:22 Like, why is that? Why aren't, you know? I think he just puts you in an exclusive club where you can only hook up with people who are as tall as you or look like you. Yeah, but does it have something to do with, like, the way they are? Like, they got more testosterone or, like, that they like ladies? Because you can't deny the fact
Starting point is 00:18:40 that a lot of female athletes are lesbian, right? There's more female athletes that are lesbian than, let's say, models, right? Or I don't know, waitresses. What other job women do? Politicians. I don't know. There's a higher percentage of lesbians in sports, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So there's got to be a reason why, right? What is the reason? Is it the diet?
Starting point is 00:19:06 What is it? Is it the dads didn't pay? Why? It's because it's a more masculine sport. I'm asking you because you're a scientist and I want an answer. It's masculinity. It's a masculine sport. Yeah, it's masculinity.
Starting point is 00:19:18 Are you allowed to say that nowadays? Yeah. Because that's the obvious reason, right? Like, why are there more gay guys who do fucking ballet dancing? Because guess what? It's feminine. Can you say that shit? I mean, right? Like, why are there more gay guys who do fucking ballet dancing? Because guess what? It's feminine. Can you say that shit? I mean, that admits that there's a spectrum.
Starting point is 00:19:29 But also, that doesn't make sense because ballets usually have tighter butts. Yeah, but could you imagine? Could you fucking? Well, here's the thing. Herschel Walker used to do ballet. And he liked to, as we know, he liked to abort children. Yeah. He liked to make them and break them.
Starting point is 00:19:43 I mean, look how his son turned out. Yeah, but it's his. He made it, so can't he break it? Here's the deal. He did it to work on his footwork. I don't think a lot of straight guys get into dance. Although if you did, you'd clean up. It is a great... You would clean up.
Starting point is 00:19:58 All the other guys are just... You would not be one of the girls. You would be different. But, you know, people can't get along. People can't get along. You know, it's nice to see women on teams in the WNBA playing each other in an organized situation where they know who the enemy is.
Starting point is 00:20:21 They can get it out, right? Because usually women are passive aggressive. According to Jordan Peterson, you know, they gossip. When women take out aggression, it's with gossip. That's what he says. Nasty women. They're not physical. They gossip.
Starting point is 00:20:37 And they reputation ruin. Or they ruin reputations. That's how women fight. I like your impression. You make him sound like an elf. Hi, my name's Jordan Peterson. Women, passive aggressive women.
Starting point is 00:20:55 Yeah. He does have like a rage in him, doesn't he? I always feel like he's very intense. Sounds like he's trying to hold something down. He's not a sweet, like, do you feel like he's like an empathetic guy? Or do you feel like, no. No.
Starting point is 00:21:10 Why would you do that? Yeah. He's, like, got a rage in him that's, like, controlled, right? Like an anger. I feel like he could watch, like, puppies be set on fire and not react at all. Do you think he knows? Because he's very good at breaking everybody else down. Do you think he knows that a lot
Starting point is 00:21:28 of his opinions and the way he delivers them is because he got hanged on a few lockers by his fucking tighty whities? No. Any man that wears an ascot is not self-aware. Because there's no way a dude that skinny and nerdy with food allergies didn't get hanged on a few fucking coat hangers. He got beat by his
Starting point is 00:21:43 tighty whities. He's not exactly a jock. He got thrown into a few fucking coat hangers. He got beat by his tighty whities. He's not exactly a jock. He got thrown into a fucking locker like a skateboard. He got tossed into a few pools. He got picked up and thrown into the kiddie pool when he was an adult by somebody. Once in a while. He's angry. I always sense this kind of
Starting point is 00:22:00 rage. Jesse, you notice that? There's like a rage under his tighty controls his rage. He tries to seem very together. No! No! No! Why would you do that? And it's in his eyes. He's like, intense? You want to be dangerous. You want to be a killer. You want to be able to murder people with your bare hands, but not do it. You don't want to be weak. Weak people are dangerous. You want to be a serial killer. You want to be a serial killer who rapes?
Starting point is 00:22:28 But don't do it. Control it. Is that really what you mean? You know what I'm talking about? Be dangerous. Why was Jordan Peterson on antidepressants? I don't know why that's pulled up. I want the answer now. Why was Jordan Peterson on antidepressants?
Starting point is 00:22:43 I don't know why that's pulled up. I want the answer now. Jordan Peterson spoke during a television interview with his daughter in 2012 of both he and his family's histories of severe depression. He made a very emotive comment in the interview that due to severe disruption to his functioning when depressed, he would take antidepressants for the rest of his life. But then he realized all he had to do was eat meat, salt and water. And I never sway from it. You ever see him answer that question? And he said
Starting point is 00:23:17 it very seriously, too, like like someone was attacking him. He goes, well, I eat meat, salt and water and I never sway from it. You're like, alright, dude, I don't care. I'm not threatening you. I'm not threatening you with vegetables. Eat what you want. But he's got some sort of autoimmune disease. I just think he's Canadian and they're pussies. That's the problem. They don't know how to compute rage. They don't know how to compute rage. Anyway, now he dresses like so nice. It's funny how money can change you.
Starting point is 00:23:50 You're obviously overcompensating for something. He used to dress like a Canadian psychiatry professor with khakis and hush puppy shoes with the shoelaces tightly laced hitting the floor. You know, and like a dirty shirt. And his hair was all weird. Now, I mean, the guy's like Armani suits. I mean, look at him now.
Starting point is 00:24:18 Yeah, dapper. I mean, he looks like Ralph Lauren now. He looks like he's got a fashion line. He's just dapper as hell. He's got a little coin now. Yeah. He's a dapper as hell. He's got a little coin now. Yeah. He's a smart guy, though, man. I mean, he does, when you listen to him talk, he's very smart.
Starting point is 00:24:37 And listen, you know, his claim to fame was he fought back against the wokeness when they said, you know, when Canada, he came to fame. Canada said, you have to address people. It's going to be law. You have to address people based on the pronouns that they want you to address them as. So they were going to codify that. Fuck that. Which is wild. To codify that language or something like that.
Starting point is 00:25:00 So I agree with him on that. Anyway, he rose to fame. He went on Rogan. Now he fucking sells out arenas. Talking about psychiatry. And he gives his opinion on Ukraine. I mean, everyone's throwing their hat in on the fucking Ukraine-Russia thing.
Starting point is 00:25:15 The Ukraine-Russia thing, you know, everyone's throwing their hat in the fucking ring. Everyone's got an opinion. It's become like the new Michael vs. LeBron. It's the new Michael vs. LeBron. Everyone's got an opinion It's become like the new Michael vs. LeBron It's the new Michael vs. LeBron Everyone's got an opinion There's a lot of people who New school, they're very much for Ukraine
Starting point is 00:25:31 That's like LeBron And then you got the people Shut the fuck up And then you got the other people Who are a little more old school Who watched Russia during the Cold War And they go, look, that was the greatest of all time The former Soviet Union, that's the goat They're like, go, look, that was the greatest of all time The former Soviet Union
Starting point is 00:25:46 That's the goat Russia's LeBron He plays, he's a little He distributes the ball a little bit more So It's a big thing This could go on for another 20 years I don't see an end in sight
Starting point is 00:26:02 But I do know that probably a couple hundred thousand Russians are dead. They like to die. They're good at it. The way Kenyans can do marathons, Russians could die. If dying was a
Starting point is 00:26:19 sport in the Olympics, Russians would dominate, dude. And they would still get caught for doping. They would get caught for doping and they would dominate. I mean, they're the best at dying. History, you look at history, you could always throw about a million Russians at death and they're just gone. Somehow this isn't a civil war, right?
Starting point is 00:26:40 I guess Ukraine and Russia, I guess their languages are a little different. I don't know anything about Ukraine's perspective because I live in America. I'm not a foreign affairs expert. I'm not a geopolitical expert. I do know that Ukraine's upset about it, right? I don't think they are. Do you think they're happy that Russia invaded them? A little bit. Yeah, because they like to get hit, right?
Starting point is 00:27:07 Yeah, a little bit. Some countries like to get hit, just like some girls like to get choked. I think they're happy about it. Yeah. It's some extra demolition that they didn't have to pay for. I think that's what the media's hiding from us. I think they're keeping that secret from us.
Starting point is 00:27:22 See, that's the thing. The people who are blaming Ukraine and NATO, they know something that the mainstream media is not telling us, and that is that Ukraine is into S&M. Ukraine, some people like it. Yeah. Some people like it. Zelensky is a deviant.
Starting point is 00:27:41 And Ukrainians, culturally, they're deviant. Okay? They like to get a little vodka in them, as culturally, they're deviant. Okay? They like to get a little vodka in them, and they like to get bombed. Some people like to get bombed. They like to get their condos blown out. It turns them on. Ukrainians are turned on by this.
Starting point is 00:27:58 So that's the message that the mainstream media won't tell us. And the reason they won't tell us that is because they're prude. They're fucking prude. It's the Protestant. It's the whole Protestant repressive thing, right? What do they call that? The Protestant work ethic, the American thing that we have in us, the prudishness. We don't like talking about sex. We don't like affairs. We don't like sex out of marriage. So we don't talk about it in the media because Ukraine is kinky. They're getting smacked by Russia and they like it.
Starting point is 00:28:34 It's making them hard. Yeah, and they're safe where there's Crimea. Zelensky wakes up every day with a heart on. When those bombs go off, they go, yeah. Yeah, there's nipple tassels under that sweatshirt. Yeah, I can't get hard unless you blow up my city. Drone bomb Kiev. And listen, that's nipple tassels under that sweatshirt. Yeah, I can't get hard unless you blow up my city. Drone bomb Kiev. And listen, that's what they're doing. That's why we don't understand.
Starting point is 00:28:51 We can't understand this conflict between Ukraine and Russia because they're enjoying it. They're both enjoying it. You've seen Russians in Brighton Beach. Are they poets? They're not poets. They're always scary, tracksuit mafia guys. They like violence.
Starting point is 00:29:11 They're enjoying this. Why are we, you know, judging it? And also the people, look, I understand people are upset. We're spending tax dollars to send them stuff. You're like, should we be doing that? I get that. I get that. I get that. But if you love Russia and you don't want them to hurt Russia with those, don't worry.
Starting point is 00:29:32 Russia likes it. So it's almost like, yeah. It's like, you know, it's like Fifty Shades of Grey. It's like saying to that chick, it's like showing that chick the whips. She's going, yeah, thank you that the whips are there. I want the whips. I'm into it. That's what these people like to do.
Starting point is 00:29:51 Look, they're not Greeks. I mean, what do you want from me? These are barbarian people. They like to fight. I judge everything through the filter of civilization and democracy and Aristotle's brain because I'm a Greek. I'm from antiquity. I'm from antiquity. I'm from antiquity.
Starting point is 00:30:09 I'm the grandson of a slave. I asked ChatGBT the other night. I said, were Greeks slaves? And ChatGBT just answered yes. So here's the funny thing. I was happy about it. That's your street cred right there. Yeah, I mean, it's like I got street cred.
Starting point is 00:30:33 How funny. Dude, you have to admit that that does on some level. Let's take all the knocking woke people. Let's get it all out of there. I'm telling you honestly. I'm not you honestly. I'm not even making a joke. My honest reaction when I found out that ChatGBT said that I was a slave, my honest reaction was happy about it.
Starting point is 00:30:58 I was happy about it. Nice, yeah. I was going like, now I want to tell people about that. I want to flaunt that. It is a little funny that we kind of live in Like, can you imagine So now that Chappie T has confirmed That I'm the descendant of slaves
Starting point is 00:31:12 Thank you so much Thank you Feels good, dog Here's the thing It feels great to not be a slave But to know that you can tell people That a little while ago You would have been a slave I think to know that you can tell people that a little while ago, you would have been a slave.
Starting point is 00:31:27 I think that's the best spot to be. That's a great spot to be. When things are good. Because you know things gotta be pretty good to feel good about the fact that you can tell people that you were a slave. Right? Because slavery sucks.
Starting point is 00:31:42 I don't think there's anything positive about it. Could you think, if you were a lawyer for slavery, if you were the public relations firm for slavery, there's a bunch of very, very moralist public relations firms who I want to know more about. There's these PR firms. Some of them represent countries like Saudi Arabia, and they're very funny.
Starting point is 00:32:04 And we need to do an episode on some of them because they're really funny. When you see Saudi Arabia tourist commercials, Saudi Arabia the government has hired an American PR firm and paid them money and been like, how can we yes, yes, on Wednesdays
Starting point is 00:32:20 we do public execution but show them the beaches. Let's, how do we, yes, we have a bad reputation that women can't drive and show their head, but the beach. Show them the beach and falafel.
Starting point is 00:32:35 And then Americans are like, they figure it out. Fly on L.A., you know. Come to Saudi Arabia. Yeah. And then you just see a person walking on the beach or in the sand dunes on buggies.
Starting point is 00:32:45 So PR is funny. So if you're a PR firm for slavery, sell me some positives. Rhythm and blues. That's the only one I need. Very positive. Is there any other type of music that makes you connected with your emotions like rhythm and blues?
Starting point is 00:33:02 Very positive. And also connects to you like rhythm and blues and makes you want and Blues. Very positive. And also connects to you like Rhythm and Blues and makes you want to move. Very positive. Now, I'm not an advocate for chattel slavery, but it gave me Brian McKnight. I will say, also, I'll give a shout out to Oshkosh. Oshkosh.
Starting point is 00:33:20 Why do I always call him Oshkosh Bagosh? Oshkosh from Flagrant 2. Great, yeah. He said a very funny thing. He said slavery's bad, but it also did create the pyramids. It was kind of worth it. He had a joke. I'm butchering it, but it was very funny because that would be a positive.
Starting point is 00:33:36 Like, oh, look at the pyramids. Slavery did that. That's pretty good. Now, for Greeks, I'll say this. I'll be the lawyer for the Greek slavery from the Ottomans. I'll say it did make Greeks entertaining, conspiratorial and entertaining. That's good. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:33:53 It did make us a little very lackadaisical with our time, which is good and funny and entertaining. You know, because when you've been a slave for 400 years, and I joked about this in a Mr. Pano sketch, right? But you don't like leave slavery and get right to fucking work. You know what I'm saying? Like you deserve a little bit of a vacay. You were just forced to fucking work and do jobs you didn't want to do for hundreds of years.
Starting point is 00:34:21 You can fucking chill for a bit and sit in a cafe and smoke cigarettes and crash the European economy. Yeah. A Greek. You can do it. Yeah. A Greek created the McDonald's slogan. Hey, listen, when everyone was pissed at fucking Greece for the Greek financial crisis and
Starting point is 00:34:36 putting the fucking euro in threat or whatever it was, I don't remember because I don't care anymore because I'm American. I don't care. OK. But when everyone was pissed at Grease, Grease should have said, we fucking earned, we, like, cut us some slack, dog. We earned this.
Starting point is 00:34:52 We're chilling right now, you know? Look, if Grease was a hotel room, it says, do not disturb. We're chilling. Just let me sit here. I'm sleeping in. Drink my frappuccino and play with my Greek beads. Yes, now we're putting in a chat GBT.
Starting point is 00:35:07 Chat GBT is part of our podcast now. When did Turkey leave Greece? I'll tell you right now without looking. Let's see how good my history is. 1912. Jared's got to go put some moisturizer in his hair. Did I nail it? God damn it.
Starting point is 00:35:24 I'm fucking not as good as I... Turkey and Greece are separate countries. Jesse, even ChatGBT doesn't understand what you're asking. Say,
Starting point is 00:35:33 when did the Ottoman occupy... Wait, could you just look at how I spelled Greece? You spelled Greece G-R-E-A-C-E. You spelled it
Starting point is 00:35:41 like some girl's name, Grace. When did Turkey leave Greece? How about put in, I'm going to say 19... 20... 1919. I'm going to read... What did I say before?
Starting point is 00:35:59 1912? I'm going to go 1919. No, when did Turkish occupation... Yeah, they were the Ottomans then, but maybe this will work. When did Turkish occupation end in Greece? Oh, Jesus. ChatGBT has no... Is this ChatGBT?
Starting point is 00:36:16 How long was Turkey in Greece for? 400 years. Different historical periods? Oh, yeah, 400 years. Yeah, you got to spread that shit out. 400 years. 400 years. Now, look, I am that shit out. 400 years. 400 years. Now, look, I am going to go to my chat, GBT, and chat GBT is going to understand me right away because I type in English.
Starting point is 00:36:32 Were Greeks slaves to Ottomans? Let's see. Hopefully it gives me the same answer. Ottomans. Funny, too, I asked, I said, who is the creator of Morissa? And it said, Morissa the creator of Morrisa? And it said, Morrisa is a comedy character done by Andrew Schultz.
Starting point is 00:36:49 No. Are you deadass? Yeah, I'm deadass. And then I was like, no, it's Giannis Pappas in the chat. He was like, I'm sorry, I made a mistake. It's weird. AI like learns from itself. And then I asked it again and now it knew.
Starting point is 00:37:04 Yes, the Greek territories were under Ottoman rule for several centuries. The Ottoman Empire expanded into the Balkans and Anatolia, including Greek lands. When did they leave? When did the Ottoman occupation of Greece end? 19... The war resulting in the formation of the modern Greek state and the Treaty of Constantinople in 1832. The Greek War of Independence in 1821. So I guess it's 1821.
Starting point is 00:37:38 When was your grandfather sent to Egypt, though? Oh, boy, that's something. Yeah, so something's off. When did Ottomans leave Greece? Are you on Google or chat GPT? I'm on chat GPT. Chat GPT doesn't know. Just you on Google or chat GPT? I'm on chat GPT. Chat GPT doesn't know. Just go on Google. When did the occupation of Greece end for the Ottomans?
Starting point is 00:38:11 Why are you asking something that's been alive? I'm asking Siri. I shouldn't be asking a woman. She doesn't know. You're asking something that's been around for six months. When the Turkish invasion. Right. Here we go.
Starting point is 00:38:23 Now New York Times. How did we get sidetracked on this shit? Yeah, no. We're trying to talk about the invasion. Right. Here we go. Now New York Times. How did we get sidetracked on this shit? Yeah, no. We're trying to talk about the Ukraine. That's like asking your new daughter
Starting point is 00:38:30 about your mortgage. Anyway, Rhythm and Blues is good. If you were representing slavery, you'd be a PR rep. That's the only thing I need. Yeah. Rhythm and Blues is good.
Starting point is 00:38:38 Yeah. You'd have to suffer 400 years, but you'd get Rhythm and Blues out of it. Well, for white people it would probably be like 1,200
Starting point is 00:38:43 because y'all got no rhythm. But yeah. It could be 12,000 yeah black people were just born with rhythm we were born with rhythm we born with blues I mean the reason why the slave trade has found us so fast because we were making music it's a problem yeah they got it was like a siren song yeah yeah yeah that drum yeah the drum is African the drum changed a lot mm a lot The drum really changed a lot Yeah Black music changed everything Everything
Starting point is 00:39:07 African American music Changed everything And it's more African American Right? Yeah Something happened there Something magic happened there And then the music just got good
Starting point is 00:39:17 Yeah Got good We were the mothership And then you know Went off to Haiti Went off to Jamaica But We were the OG
Starting point is 00:39:23 You were the mothership. What is Ukrainian music like? Well, probably just bombs now. Right. Because that'll just be in the background of every song. Yeah. It's a lot of bass. Anyway, there's this war going on right now in Ukraine and Russia.
Starting point is 00:39:41 It's all anyone could talk about. The thing that happens with the media. Is they just pick one thing. And then you don't hear about anything else anymore. Nothing else. In that way. The media does kind of control our perceptions a lot. Right? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:39:54 I don't know who the media is anymore. Because they really have done it to them. They ripped themselves down. By fucking up so much. And now nobody trusts them or anything like that. But really, I remember when Darfur happened and all you heard about was Darfur.
Starting point is 00:40:13 It's a great way. If you want to get away with something, you want to do it during a crisis that the media is addicted to. The media gets addicted to something. If you want to, like, slaughter political dissidents or a political rival in your country, and you're, like, let's say in the Congo or Madagascar or Kyrgyzstan, one of the Kyrgyzstans,
Starting point is 00:40:38 do it during something that the American media is obsessed with. When they're shorting GameStop. Yeah, because you will not When they're shorting Because you will not know about it Yeah I mean you will just not know about it Because all we hear about
Starting point is 00:40:51 Is Russia and Ukraine now And There was a Chinese Pilot that Flew in front of some NATO pilot Or American pilot Or something like that
Starting point is 00:41:03 There's some warships Kind of got close or they crashed. It's getting tense. Everyone needs to chill out. Everyone needs to chill. Everyone needs to throw on some Sade and chill. Everyone needs to micro-dose mushrooms. We need some micro-dosing of mushrooms going on right now.
Starting point is 00:41:27 So, yeah, the Chinese warship Sailing near China Something happened Things are getting tense Things are getting tense There was a Chinese incursion into Taiwan airspace Something happened and then also I don't know what happened but something happened Some Chinese jet Flew right in front of...
Starting point is 00:41:47 It was crazy. You could see the footage of it, where it cuts right in front of some other jet. How'd you know it was Chinese? Because they were squatting down and eating out of a styrofoam case. There it is right there. Chinese J-16 jet intercepts U.S. spy plane over South Chinese Sea. Oh, wow. Yeah, so
Starting point is 00:42:07 it, you know, you think it was road rage? You think it was like, fuck you, buddy! Yeah. You think he threw a slur? Yeah. Because he videotaped it, and then you think he turned off the camera and went, and then he said what he really wanted to say?
Starting point is 00:42:29 So, things are tense things are tense things are tense right now but you know at the end of the day you know the question is are we slut-shaming Ukraine? Are we blaming Ukraine for being hot? Right? They're a commodity. Because Russia did attack. Russia did attack. But was Ukraine asking for it? That's the question.
Starting point is 00:42:57 What do you think? Was Ukraine asking for it? Was Ukraine out alone? Was Ukraine walking into a bad neighborhood was Ukraine wearing something it shouldn't have been wearing that's my question hmm you know how it is I feel like your mom and parents you always tell you yeah don't go out late be careful we be aware of your surroundings be home before the streetlight come back you don't want you don't want to be on the border with
Starting point is 00:43:21 Russia you know I mean Find a new place. You don't want to be right there. You know that's a dangerous spot. You know what I think it is? I think Ukraine and Russia used to date, and Russia said, listen, you can do whatever you want, just don't talk to any of my friends.
Starting point is 00:43:36 Right. And then Russia found out that Ukraine was DMing Crimea and NATO, and he was like, all right, fuck it. So Russia's a jealous boyfriend. Yeah. This happens all the time. This happens all the time, unfortunately. That's why was like, alright, fuck it. So Russia's a jealous boyfriend. This happens all the time. This happens all the time, unfortunately. That's why, listen, countries, you have to
Starting point is 00:43:50 get a restraining order on other countries. You can't stay in these abusive relationships. Get a restraining order. Get out. Tell friends. The cycle of trauma, it's bad. You're trauma bonding. This is trauma bonding. You're dating a covert narcissist Or a malignant narcissist
Starting point is 00:44:07 I think Ukraine has a lot to learn I think they can grow from this They can grow from this I think this will ultimately be good Yeah For Ukraine They're going to end up dating Switzerland next Look, when I look back at my personal growth
Starting point is 00:44:19 I had to go through a lot of bad things I kind of look like Russia's invasion of Ukraine, their bombing of cities and killing of people. It's necessary growth. Ukraine's got to look itself in the mirror and go, why did this happen? Why? I'm going to get the positive out of this.
Starting point is 00:44:41 I'm going to be a better person. I'm going to be a better country when this is done. Yeah. No? So I understand. So we don't exactly know why Russia invaded the Ukraine. Okay? There's theories.
Starting point is 00:44:57 All we have is theories. Floating out there, yeah. Now listen. I already asked the all, I already asked the Wizard of Oz. Now if someone had a sense of humor, they would have called ChatGB asked the Wizard of Oz. Now if someone had a sense of humor, they would have called ChatGBT the Wizard of Oz. Because you remember the Wizard of Oz was like behind the curtain, could answer all fucking things or whatever. And it just turned out to be some white dude. Yeah, that would have been funny if it was, or listen, Ask Jeeves is funnier than ChatGBT.
Starting point is 00:45:19 ChatGBT is not a great name. Anyway, so I asked already, and I love how also politically correct ChatGBT is not a great name. Anyway, so I asked already, and I love how also politically correct ChatGBT is. Because I asked, I said, why do Kenyans win marathons? Because I wanted to see what ChatGBT would say. And they were like, they went all in. They went, it's important not to say that a certain group, that individuals and culture, there's a complex history of culture.
Starting point is 00:45:48 Okay, you got the wrong version of chat GPT, though. What do you got? There's different chat GPTs for different races. I got the black one. Oh. Yeah. I asked my chat GPT if OJ murdered his wife, and they said, that's what they want you to believe. That would be funny if there was chat GPTs based
Starting point is 00:46:03 on culture. That would be very if there was chat GBTs based on culture. That would be very funny. And it answered the way you want? Yeah. Come on, man. Okay. Why did Russia invade Ukraine? Okay.
Starting point is 00:46:25 And if you put this in black chat GBT, you'd be like, how come them white boys up there to North are killing them other white boys? Okay, but the white chat GBT answers, the situation regarding Russia's actions in Ukraine is complex and multifaceted. No, it's not. I listened to a college drop's podcast the other day, and he said clearly this is because NATO wants to expand.
Starting point is 00:46:51 That's the deal here. It's NATO's fault. It's NATO's fucking fault for wearing that goddamn dress and being out at 2 in the morning. It's NATO's fault. It's NATO's fault for antagonizing and yeah now putin also did invade georgia in 2014 but who the fuck cares about georgia dog georgia's not as sexy as ukraine you know right it's kind of like unfortunately i hate to say this but ukraine is kind of like Natalie Holloway Natalie Holloway
Starting point is 00:47:25 Like that Patrice O'Neil bit And Georgia is just some Big headed third world bitch Nobody cares about So I'm just trying to Give analogies for people to help Understand the Ukraine-Russian crisis
Starting point is 00:47:44 You're right, it's not even the most famous Georgia out there. Right. It's just, we live in a funny world now. It's a funny world because everyone has strong, assertive, certain opinions on very complex
Starting point is 00:48:00 issues. They have no background about. No background. No experience. A lot of these people haven't even fucking left Manhattan. And you're going to give me your opinion on Israel and Palestine? You know? It's just very funny. But it's because we have this mechanism now
Starting point is 00:48:20 where everyone can throw their fucking opinion out. So they do it. And there's a lot of people who are also dumb who receive the opinion. And sometimes it's easier for those people to, there's a lot of those people, and they connect with people as stupid as them more than they do with someone who's smart. So I get why that happens. It's almost like a paradox. Like you want experts and stuff and smart people and people who have experience and understand nuance and the complexities and multifaceted like chat GBT. You want to know all this stuff and how maybe there's not right and wrong answers here. And it's a tough call. If you do this, then bad
Starting point is 00:48:59 and this trade offs. But if you don't get in, it could be bad for this reason. Economic reasons. I mean, the list goes on and on and on. You want that. But who's going to understand those people when they talk? Right? Nobody. But if you listen to fucking Glenn Beck, he gives it to you with a chalkboard. He throws up a chalkboard.
Starting point is 00:49:19 He goes, okay, here's Russia over here. And he draws like a bottle of vodka. And he goes, okay, here's Ukraine over here. Bottle of vodka, but of vodka. And he goes, okay, here's Ukraine over here. Bottle of vodka, but with a sombrero on because they're the same but different. So it's like someone like that can make it easier for you. And I get that. And that's why you're listening to me right now.
Starting point is 00:49:34 And I'm going to explain it to you. I'm going to explain it to you because I know why Russia-Ukraine happened. I'm going to explain it to you. You're the Dr. Seuss of geopolitical warfare. I'm going to solve it. I'm going to solve it right now. And I'm going to explain it to you. You're the Dr. Seuss of geopolitical warfare. I'm going to solve it. I'm going to solve it right now. And I'm going to solve it by just saying stop.
Starting point is 00:49:49 Putin, stop. Stop what you're doing. And Zelensky, stop it. Okay? Guys, knock it off. And buy a suit. Let's solve this the way we should solve all problems from here on in. Okay?
Starting point is 00:50:01 With a Dana White approved Sponsored slap fight Between Zelensky and Putin How funny is it That nobody wants to see that shit But Dana White just keeps posting it He does not care I have never seen bigger Cognitive dissonance in my entire life
Starting point is 00:50:20 Like all the comments To slap, what's it called? Slap fest Or slap shot Have you seen this? Slap fest or slap shock? Slap box or something like that. Have you seen this? It's not a sport, dude. It's a guy stands helplessly with his hands behind his back
Starting point is 00:50:33 while another guy smacks him in the face, and the whole point is to see if the guy passes out. That's not special, dude. Dude, it's the, and everyone hates it, and nobody's watching it, and he just keeps pumping it.
Starting point is 00:50:44 Yeah, because he's the owner of it. Look, he owns it. Yeah, of course. That's what I'm saying. But he can't admit that it's stupid. It's called power slap. It is stupid. If I wanted to see that, I'd just watch my parents after dinner.
Starting point is 00:50:56 Here's the funny thing. It's not slap fighting, right? Slap fighting would be like boxing with slaps. Organized slap fighting. It is hostage hitting. Yeah. It is hostage hitting. Yeah. It is hostage hitting. It's measured CTE.
Starting point is 00:51:10 It is hostage hitting, dog. You're like, okay, this guy's a hostage, and his hands are tied behind his back. You can basically go, tell me where the secrets are. And the guy goes, I don't know. And then this guy just winds up and fucking hits this helpless guy. Yeah, and over time, they waterboard each other. It's a good tweet.
Starting point is 00:51:25 It's not slap fighting. It's hostage hitting. All right. So, I just was trying to remember a tweet I thought of before. Oh, yeah. Well, what I wanted to say. I was going to put it in a Sean Terry video, but I was going to say, Sean Terry would say,
Starting point is 00:51:43 fucking going back, a lot of the people that they said died of COVID, they didn't fucking die of COVID. All right? You know why he fucking died? They died from fucking heartbreak because Biden had the election stolen from him. They didn't account for that. People went into fucking cardiac arrest
Starting point is 00:51:58 once they found out that they actually stole the fucking election from Donald Trump. It was fucking traumatic So people died from fucking trauma I know that's how my 15 fucking granduncles died I'll fucking throw that on a video on the gram anyway Because I fight fire
Starting point is 00:52:18 I fight fire with fire And I'm fucking, I get it I root for the fucking Jets and I drink cold fucking beer. And so a lot of those COVID deaths were marked as COVID but really died of heartbreak because Donnie T lost the election. You can't tell me this isn't a
Starting point is 00:52:38 fucking top notch podcast. You can't tell me this is not top notch comedy podcast here. We're a top notch comedy podcast. we're top-notch comedy podcast entertainment okay but low-notch word pronunciation that for sure yeah okay so according to chat gbt the reasons for russia's actions in ukraine are subject to debate and speculation i don't think so i think it been solved. Some key factors that are often discussed include, okay, number one, geopolitical interests.
Starting point is 00:53:11 Crimea holds strategic importance for Russia due to its access to the Black Sea and its historic, I think that's racist, and its historical ties to Russia. Yeah, it should be changed to Colored Sea. It should be Person of Color Sea. Sea of Color. P-O-C. P-O-C. You don't even have to do it. P-O-C, but just spell it of color, C. C of color. P-O-C. C. P-O-C.
Starting point is 00:53:26 P-O-C. You don't even have to do it. P-O-C, but just spell it instead of a C. Put S-E-A. Yeah. P-O-C. Russia has long considered Crimea as a significant part of its sphere of influence. So that's one thing.
Starting point is 00:53:39 Geopolitical interests. Crimea holds strategic importance for Russia due to its access to the Black Sea. So maybe that's it. Another one. Ethnic and cultural ties. There are historical and cultural connections between Russia and parts of eastern Ukraine where there's a significant Russian-speaking population. Russia has expressed concerns
Starting point is 00:53:56 about the rights and welfare of ethnic Russians in Ukraine. Probably some legitimacy to that. I don't know. There's probably a population there. I guess that's the same problem in Kosovo, right? Yeah. They move populations around. It's the same thing that happened in Cyprus with the Turks and the Greeks, right?
Starting point is 00:54:14 They move. They try to ethnically cleanse. They move them over here. They take over here. They say, you go over there, right? Wasn't there just riots in Kosovo again? Right? Serbian protests.
Starting point is 00:54:24 I believe so. The Albanian, whatever's going on. There's certain, sometimes there's a large group of people from a neighboring country that live across the border in another place and they feel like whatever. They want,
Starting point is 00:54:40 they're getting discriminated against. Right? So, the best part about when Jesse Google some is we're never gonna get to the thing why are there riots in Kosovo but that should get it okay another another possibility is political instability and change of government Russia has been critical the political changes in Ukraine particularly the 2014 Ukrainian
Starting point is 00:55:04 revolution that led to the ousting of the pro-r Ukraine, particularly the 2014 Ukrainian revolution that led to the ousting of the pro-Russian president, Viktor Yanukovych. Russia viewed these changes as a threat to its interests and influence in the region. That happened. Did we have some influence in that? Did we try to sway the election?
Starting point is 00:55:21 Were we meddling? Yes, probably. But don't be a fucking sore loser putin you know how this shit works that's the fucking game baby right you tried to get donald t elected you how you definitely wanted that over hillary because hillary goes we came we saw we killed that bitch wanted to kill everything yeah the fucking she's a fucking, she's the angel of death. And you wanted the fucking reality show guy with orange hair who likes to fight with everybody. I would too. If I was Putin, I'd want that guy too.
Starting point is 00:55:55 But you could easily appeal to his ego by just going, he's a smart guy. And then Trump goes, all you have to do to get Trump to like you is say, I think Trump is a smart guy. And then Trump goes, you know what? I to get Trump to like you is say, I think Trump is a smart guy. And then Trump goes, you know what? I like that guy. He said good things about me. So I get, of course, if you're Putin, you're going to, Putin is a fucking slimy, sticky, fucking KGB guy. Yeah. He loves subterfuge.
Starting point is 00:56:19 He loves fucking playing dirty. So stop being a crybaby bitch. Okay. You lost fair and square. And by fair bitch. Okay? You lost fair and square. And by fair and square, I mean not fair and square. Because we got in there. We fucking did some propaganda.
Starting point is 00:56:32 We did whatever we needed to do. We supported the documentary folks. The pro-documentary folks. I meant to say pro-democracy folks. But also people who enjoy documentaries. Yeah, we supported Vice. We supported, we definitely supported NPR and PBS.
Starting point is 00:56:49 And the pro-Russian guy got ousted. The little puppet that Putin liked on the border got ousted. The people had a revolution. Why? They want Coca-Cola. They want freedom. They want khakis. They want untucked shirts. Who doesn't want an untucked shirt?
Starting point is 00:57:04 Oh yeah. It's amazing technology. Who doesn't want an untucked shirt? Oh yeah It's amazing technology Who doesn't want Tommy John's fucking underwear? Never rides up And it makes your balls breathe Guess what? Not available in a pro-Putin sphere But once you get a little American influence Guess what?
Starting point is 00:57:18 Hop on Amazon You can buy a pair of underwear for $40 And feel very comfortable Very, very comfortable They wanted buffalo wings. They want cheese fries. They want Chick-fil-A. They want it.
Starting point is 00:57:32 So the people rebelled. They kicked the guy out. And they elected a Jewish comedian from a television show, which is a very, very West modern thing to do, right? We've elected a few television personalities. Ronald Reagan, Arnold Schwarzer've elected a few television personalities. Ronald Reagan, Arnold Schwarzenegger. Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Starting point is 00:57:51 Slow it down. There you go. Arnold Schwarzenegger. Negro. Negro. Arnold Schwarzenegger. There you go. And a couple other ones. Al Franken.
Starting point is 00:58:04 Remember we made that fucking guy From SNL as senator Oh yeah And then he got ousted Because he took a picture Making a joke holding tits Don't act like you're moral If there's a picture of you
Starting point is 00:58:15 Grabbing a titty on an airplane So I'm on a USO tour So then they elected that guy So don't act like a sore loser You know the game Putin Okay You meddled in our election We meddled in in yours. That's what we do, baby. I would expect that he would understand. But anyway, he did probably get pissed
Starting point is 00:58:32 at that, right? So that's probably a big reason. He's not happy about that. He liked when Ukraine had a little puppet in there. He loves the former Soviet Union. He's from the former Soviet Union. He has said and alluded to the fact that he would like to... He said it was what? The biggest historical catastrophe. I think he's quoted as saying it's a historical catastrophe that the
Starting point is 00:58:54 USSR broke up. Something like that. His motives... It's almost like... You know when you're in a relationship with a girl? Or a boy in your case? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:59:09 A guy. Yeah, he called it a Soviet collapse. He called it a genuine tragedy in his annual State of the Nation address to his nation address on Monday. This was a while ago. And he said it many times. He's alluded to the fact that he would love it if it got back together. He would love it. Of course, who wouldn't?
Starting point is 00:59:29 What dictator wouldn't? Nobody becomes a dictator to sit around and drink coffee with the people in cafes. You're power hungry, you want more. He said, first and foremost, it's worth acknowledging that the demise of the Soviet Union
Starting point is 00:59:43 was the greatest geopolitical catastrophe of the century. That's what he said. So he went a little harder than just saying it was a genuine mistake. That's a pretty strong word. So you know when you're in a relationship with a girl, right? Or as in your case, Jesse's got a girl, but you got a guy, as I said. I want to make this inclusive It is
Starting point is 01:00:06 It is fucking pride month Thank you By the way Can we When can you just be gay In silence Like do we still need The fucking pride flags
Starting point is 01:00:14 I mean what country Is that fucking flag You can be gay in silence You just got to pay In the NFL But at this point Like you know At this point it's like
Starting point is 01:00:21 You have Just be gay now Is there a cut off point Where's like, just be gay now. Is there a cutoff point where you just go, just be gay? Or like, have one day? I think you're getting confused with gays. Is this a month? Is this fucking thing a month? It's a whole month.
Starting point is 01:00:34 It's a whole fucking month, dude. There's a difference between gays and flamboyancy. I think this month is being celebrated with flamboyancy. Yeah, flamboyancy. That's a good question. That's actually a great point. Because I don't know what lime green Speedos have to do with being gay. Wait a second.
Starting point is 01:00:46 That is a hilarious point because that's a great point. It would be one thing if the parade was just like a bunch of gay couples in like cardigan sweaters just waving at kids. A whole bunch of
Starting point is 01:00:56 Neil Patrick Harris's. Yeah, just a whole bunch of guys like that, you know? Or Tim Dillon going there like, I can't believe I'm gay either. Right. That would be one thing. But instead,
Starting point is 01:01:04 it's just guys half naked on floats. Twerking. Yeah. Reading stories to children. I don't know. All right. So here's my analogy. You know when you're with a girl and you're obsessed with the girl,
Starting point is 01:01:17 you're in love with the girl, and your friends say she's no good or whatever, and she has told you. She's like, I don't know. I want to be free right now. I just, I'm not, I don't know. But I love being with you. But I also am enjoying, like, I want to travel and things like that.
Starting point is 01:01:32 And you're going like, I think I'm going to marry her. And your friends are like, you're not listening to what she's saying. Like, she told you. You know how many times that's happened to me? Where I look back and I go, I'm like, fuck. I'm trying to make this relationship work because I'm so obsessed with the girl. But she has told me. The point is, if you listen to people, they will tell you who they are.
Starting point is 01:01:51 Business partners as well. Everyone will tell you who they are. If you just listen. You don't, because what we like to do is we like to put our idealized version or what we want the person to be on the person. People want Putin. Right now, especially on the right, they want Putin to be a wife. They want him to be a wife.
Starting point is 01:02:13 But he's telling you right here, I am a whore who wants to go study art history in Italy and fuck Italian guys. I want to invade Ukraine. I want to invade Ukraine. I want to invade Georgia. I want to invade Kajakistan, Dijakistan, Pajakistan, and Kajakistan. I want all the fucking stands.
Starting point is 01:02:36 I'm telling you that. So what you're saying is the people who want Putin to change should just accept him for who he is and then move down to Miami. I'm saying people got to stop being obsessed with this hot bit. He's a hot fucking guy. He's a hot. He's a hot toddy.
Starting point is 01:02:50 Yeah. He's a hot toddy. And I get he's sexy, but he's telling you who he is right there. He said it. He's saying it. But we want to blame. We want to blame. There's something we could done.
Starting point is 01:02:59 We're going. It's NATO's fault. Something we could have done. We did something wrong. We did. It's our fault. No, no, no, no. He is a malignant narcissist. It's his fault, girl It's something we could have done We did something wrong We did something It's our fault No no no no He is a malignant narcissist It's his fault girl
Starting point is 01:03:08 Go get a book Go get a fucking Glass of wine Go with your girls Go to wine country Drink And get under another man And get fucked
Starting point is 01:03:15 And get over him He's no good Couple orange theory classes And you'll be good You'll be good He's a bad boy You can't change a bad boy You can't change a bad boy
Starting point is 01:03:24 He's a bad boy He likes to get change a bad boy. You can't change a bad boy. He's a bad boy. He likes to get on a horse and ride without a shirt on. Yeah. You said it best. He's a bad fucking boy. You can't change bad boys. You just got to let him wear that leather coat, you know, and drive in that Maserati over 80 miles per hour and let him be bad. There are certain members of NATO countries blaming themselves.
Starting point is 01:03:45 Going, what could we. It's our fault. This could have been different. It's our fault. It doesn't matter how much meatballs you make him. He's not going to come back to you. It's not going to happen. Poland. America. Especially America. A lot of people in America are going like,
Starting point is 01:04:01 this is our fault. We did this. We did this. We did this. Because Putin is fucking hot and sexy. It's hot. America's hot, too. So we're kind of like mad at it. We're like, we're the hottest girl on the block. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:04:17 Why aren't you not listening to us? Why? We belong together. We belong together. Why? Just be with me. Like, I don't get it. Even Trump said, even Trump goes, he's smart.
Starting point is 01:04:24 He was like raving about it. He's like, this guy's good because he's hot. Yeah, America's like, yo, we would have great kids. He's hot. Like, yeah, like we just can't get it. So that's another reason. A third reason is political instability and change of government. Russia's been critical of the political change in Ukraine, particularly the 2004 is what I just read. Now, fourth, sorry about that.
Starting point is 01:04:45 Geopolitical competition and regional dynamics. The situation in Ukraine is also seen as part of the broader geopolitical competition between Russia and Western powers, particularly the United States and NATO. It is viewed as a struggle for influence in the region. It's important to note that different perspectives exist regarding the motivations behind Russia's actions in Ukraine. So this
Starting point is 01:05:06 is where ChatGBT is very thorough. So that's the fourth one. That's the one where I think a lot of people do the blames. United States and NATO? So they're saying this is the United States and NATO. So Russia's kind of like this is a proxy war again and Ukraine
Starting point is 01:05:21 is like Afghanistan, right? Because for a while Russia was in Afghanistan We were in Afghanistan We were kind of fighting over Afghanistan We funded the Mujahideen Which is funny Because we were funding What's his name?
Starting point is 01:05:36 Bin Laden Bin Laden We funded that guy Because he was fighting the Russians And he took our funds Because we were fighting the Russians And he was like a CIA asset For a while
Starting point is 01:05:44 And then all of a sudden he blew up. It's interesting. And then those videos are a little weird. He does look different. I don't want to get into all that. I don't want to get into wag the dog shit because I don't know what's going on. All I'm saying is there's truth to all of these, right?
Starting point is 01:06:01 There's truth to all of these, except they all missed the mark because this is really about something deeper. This is about trauma bonding. This is about trauma bonding, and if everyone could just take ayahuasca and microdusk, I think we can see through this and understand that we're all one, we're all connected, we're all part of the universe, we all have something to do with each other. You know, it's kind of an unsettling feeling When some fucking hippie tells me that
Starting point is 01:06:26 Because that means me and Ted Bundy Are the same So nobody ever says that shit It's like when you go to a fucking It's like when you go to a medium Or you go to a guy who reads the future And they only tell you good things It's like nobody ever tells you the bad things
Starting point is 01:06:41 Right? Nobody tells you you're going to lose 500 bucks On the Miami Heat series. They don't tell you that. They just tell you your father says hello and you're going to be happy, right? It's the same shit. Nobody tells you the bad news. I don't know.
Starting point is 01:06:58 This is trauma bonding. This is trauma bonding. So that's what I recommend. Doesn't that ever annoy you when you're going, hey man, I took mushrooms and I found out we're all from Stardust and we're all from the same thing and then I go, wait a second, so I'm Hitler? So I'm
Starting point is 01:07:13 you know? I'm not trusting no hippie like that. I'm Aaron Carter? Don't tell me about myself when you don't even know about deodorant. I would rather we were all separate so I know I have nothing to do with Aaron Carter. I would rather that. Rest in peace. Is he the nothing to do with Aaron Carter. I would rather that. Rest in peace. Is he the one that died?
Starting point is 01:07:27 Yes. Rest in peace. I'm sorry. Okay, I'll say Nick Carter. It'd be better. I don't want anything to do with Nick Carter. There you go. I don't want anything to do with Nick Carter.
Starting point is 01:07:34 I'm sorry. I don't mind the Jonas Brothers, even though you say you're going to send me a song that's going to blow my heads off, and you still haven't. Oh, I thought I did. Yeah. Why are you... We live in a... It's just... I love that we live in a time that you listen to Nick Jonas.
Starting point is 01:07:45 I grew up on the Jonas Brothers a little bit. Disney Channel, dog. Why were you watching the Disney Channel? Because I was like 10 years old. What else am I going to watch? You want to watch Animal Planet? Although my dad didn't make me watch educational television for like 30 minutes every week. So, you know, I was watching like Nickelodeon and, you know, Good Burger that I had to watch Bear Grylls piss into a cup and drink it.
Starting point is 01:08:05 He was like, yeah, he's learning a lot. I'm like, yeah, I've learned to fucking talk. I've learned how to survive in the apocalypse, Dad. I don't know if this is real. We live in Long Island. I think we'll be fine. I don't think, you know, tying a rope is going to help me in Massapequa. Yeah, I think we'll be fine, Dad.
Starting point is 01:08:18 Yeah. I love the fact that you were raised well. I like that. I really do like that. Yeah. That's a good thing. Yeah. But.
Starting point is 01:08:24 Are you just courting me So I can date your daughters one day? Uh huh That You know what? That would be That's too much 25 years is too much
Starting point is 01:08:33 But a nice gentleman Like you would be If I could find a nice gentleman Like a nice gentleman To date a daughter like you That would be nice Yeah Doesn't drink
Starting point is 01:08:41 Doesn't smoke Doesn't party too hard Uh Like Can bond with chicks Yeah You know A little gay That would be nice. Yeah. Doesn't drink, doesn't smoke, doesn't party too hard. It's like, can bond with chicks. Yeah. You know? A little gay. That's what you want.
Starting point is 01:08:50 Just a little bit. The too masculine, you don't want that. You want a little, you want a guy who listens. Gay is like nutmeg. Just want a touch of it. You want a little, you want a, yeah. It's like, they're like, gay is like sun-dried tomatoes. A few is good.
Starting point is 01:09:06 You ever notice how overbearing sun-dried tomatoes can get? Yeah. If you have too many. You just want a little tinge. They dry out your mouth. A little tinge. A little pinch. So I don't know. A little ayahuasca could do everybody good in this situation.
Starting point is 01:09:16 You know? So at the end of the day, those are the potential causes for this tragedy. No, but you did say one thing. You did say that Russia didn't like the government over in ukraine that was the reason why they well here's the deal they took cremate there was this is the second time they invaded um ukraine yeah the first time they invaded another part cremate and they took it and we didn't do nothing right so like we're like right. So they took it and they claimed there's a bunch of Russian separatists there. And we just, we took it, right?
Starting point is 01:09:49 It's something, if you look through history, that happens a lot, right? A dictator will go, oh, there's on the border there, we have a population of people over there and they're oppressed. So we're going to take it over. So they encroach a little bit more, right? And it just so happens Crimea is strategically across from the sea. They never take a piece of shit land, right? They never go, you're never going to hear Canada invade Troy, New York. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:10:13 And go, hey, you know, there's a lot of Canadians living down there and we just need Troy. It's always a place that like has some value where they claim, ah, there's some separatists there. You know, it's just always convenient that they care about the separatists in those areas that have great strategic value. Yeah, you're never going to get a ransom letter for Dearborn, Michigan. Right. They're never going to say, we need Binghamton. It's never going to happen, right? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:10:37 So first in 2014, they attacked Georgia, and they took a piece of Georgia. A little piece. They took a little piece of Georgia claiming the same thing. Eh, blah, blah, blah. And they took Georgia piece of Georgia A little piece They took a little piece of Georgia Claiming the same thing And blah blah blah And they took Georgia The international community Condemned them The warden last
Starting point is 01:10:50 They kind of made a deal And they took NATO kind of And everybody in the world Was just like You can take that little piece And whatever And then that was done
Starting point is 01:10:57 With Georgia They took a little piece of Georgia Right And then They attacked Again They attacked Ukraine Took Crimea
Starting point is 01:11:04 And then that And then So then they had, again, they attacked Ukraine, took Crimea, and then that. And then, so then they had a pro-Russian president there, who was very friendly with Putin and stuff like that. And there was a revolution, which I'm sure we had a hand in. I'm not going to say we didn't. Yeah. You know, but I love how people get angry at that. It's like, what are we supposed to do, fight clean? I guess we should.
Starting point is 01:11:24 No, it's war, dog. It's war, dog. All is fair. All is fair in love and war. All is fair in love and war. But it hurts a little bit more in love, but it's more fair in war. Yeah. But I mean, look, I don't know if you can prove it or you can, I don't know.
Starting point is 01:11:36 I'd have to ask people from over there and go like, why did you guys revolt? Why did the people get the streets and oust this guy? Was it because of pamphlets we helicoptered over you? Did you watch RuPaul's Drag Race and just say, we need that? What was it? Was it the E! Channel? What was it? Did you watch The Sopranos?
Starting point is 01:11:54 What got you into it? You know, it's something. But they decided they wanted democracy. They decided they wanted to get rid of this guy. They ousted him. They put in Zelensky, right? They elected Zelensky, or we put him in. Who knows?
Starting point is 01:12:10 Depends on how cynical you are. Because who is Zelensky? He was a comedian, and then all of a sudden he's prime minister. Maybe we had a hand in that. We did put him in, yeah. I mean, it seems like we do with the amount of money we're giving him. I don't know. Maybe we did.
Starting point is 01:12:20 But is that wrong? I don't know. It's a dirty game out there. And if you don't think it's a dirty game, then you're a fucking moron. Because the bigger picture is we got competing worldviews. We have competing economic systems. We got competing political philosophies. We got competing ideas about freedom and law and rule of law and justice. We just do, right? If Obama just, if journalists just started falling out of windows outside of Obama, Obama would be in trouble, right? You know, you'd have to,
Starting point is 01:12:53 only person who could get away with that is Hillary Clinton. And that's because, I don't know. I don't know. Maybe it's the same over here. Maybe people do get away with murder. I don't know. I did not see the basement of that pizza place myself i can't claim there weren't i can only be told what the washington
Starting point is 01:13:10 post told me and maybe they're lying maybe there was maybe there was a bunch of fucking child slaves in there okay i don't know right but i do know right my my brother my brother a low, he's not in government anymore, but he's in government. So it's funny when you know someone in there and then you hear people talk outside. Because the guy who owned the pizza place is a Greek guy and he doesn't have child slaves in the basement, right? He's just a dude who, this thing started online,
Starting point is 01:13:42 the Comet Pizza. If he was Greek, he wouldn't be using them as slaves. No, he'd be using them as eunuchs. Yeah. Right. Well, actually, listen. If you're going to suspect, if you're going to think that there's child sex slaves under a pizza place, you're going to want to go with the Greek owner.
Starting point is 01:13:59 You're going to want to check the Greek owner. Or someone affiliated with the Catholic Church. Yeah, one of the two. Or Italian. You're going to go Greek-Italian. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, by the way, it's really, look, I've said on record, not to digress here, but I've said on record, I think drag shows are nightclub acts, right?
Starting point is 01:14:20 True. I don't even want stand-up comedians around my kids. So I don't understand why drag queens are doing drag shows for children. Because I would rather, to be honest with you, I would rather a drag queen reads Little Red Riding Hood to my daughter in assless chaps than Louis J. Gomez goes and performs at the school. So I would rather an assless chaps drag queen perform than Aaron Berg do 10 minutes at my child's school.
Starting point is 01:14:49 I totally agree with you. So I don't, the drag queen thing is bad, but it's not horrific. It's not the worst thing. You know what, you want to know what is horrific? Priests raping millions of children. But for some reason, nobody's upset about that. You go to Florida, they're not banned.
Starting point is 01:15:08 Catholic churches aren't banned. Nobody's upset. Somehow, they kind of squeak away. And it's really funny how that works. It lets you know that something about public relations and advertising and bullshit, people love. Because the truth is, okay, people are grooming. Are they? Maybe a little. Maybe bullshit people love because the truth is okay there's a yeah people like they're grooming it's like are they maybe a little maybe it's bad maybe it's inappropriate yes but are is there any hard evidence of a drag queen raping a kid because i can tell you where there is hard evidence of people raping children not reading barney to them which i like like, I'll extend an olive branch.
Starting point is 01:15:45 I don't think it's appropriate, right? I don't think it, I wouldn't even say appropriate. Why? What's going on here? It's a weird mix. It's a weird mix. At most it's a weird mix, but there is proof of an absolute epidemic of priests raping children. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:16:03 Sexually raping, like physically raping them. It's confirmed. It's right in front of your face. The evidence is hard evidence. It's not disputable. And it's by the hundreds of thousands. And so from the beginning of time, it's probably millions.
Starting point is 01:16:17 Around the world, it's probably millions. Because let's be honest, what watchdog organization is watching what's going on in Guatemala? Catholic Church is having a fucking field day there. Right? So, anyway, that's a side note. Because that's always interesting to me.
Starting point is 01:16:30 When you hit someone with that hard facts, they just like, you know, they don't. They're just like, yeah, but the drag queen. You're like, yeah, okay. I'll say. I'll say it's also weird. At least that's the worst it's going to get. Yeah. When they clap their cheeks together to Celine Dion, that's the worst it's going to get. Yeah. When they clap their cheeks together to Celine Dion, that's the worst it's going to get.
Starting point is 01:16:45 So far. Right? Yeah. But it's not happening in an epidemic scale where, you know, where Cinnamon, Cinnamon in Heels, who was Steve during the day, has a torture chamber where kids are getting raped. We haven't found that out yet.
Starting point is 01:17:02 But we do know guys with collars who have fucking freckled faces and pale skin and black cloaks are doing a lot of damage to children. Yeah, what's worse, RuPaul or Father McGorry's quiet time? I think Father McGorry's quiet time is bad right now. It's interesting to me. It's interesting
Starting point is 01:17:20 that certain things that are sold in certain ways and become cause celebs. It's very interesting. And then, you know, people just get married to these things that are sold in certain ways and become cause celebs it's very interesting and then you know people just get married to these things and this side well the priest don't
Starting point is 01:17:30 but yeah right priest don't get married but you notice they get married to like a side and a perspective and everyone's claiming
Starting point is 01:17:37 to know things now it's the easiest for them to digest is this the most arrogant time in the history of man where the most people are claiming to know and women and they and women and they I think it's the most arrogant time in the history of man? The most people are claiming to know.
Starting point is 01:17:45 And women and they. I think it's a very arrogant time. People are going like, call me this. People are like fucking, everyone's issuing edicts and like dissertations and papers going this is what it is.
Starting point is 01:18:01 They're just going, this is what it is! It's amazing. So we're going to end this episode by talking about RFK. And you know which RFK I'm talking about. I would talk like that too if my whole family died in the snap of a finger. Yeah, with RFK,
Starting point is 01:18:18 who will die in some sort of tragedy, as per the Kennedy curse. It's going to happen. It's going to happen. It's the final destination in politics, really. For Kennedys, they just die in some sort of tragedy. As per the Kennedy curse. It's going to happen. It's going to happen. It's the final destination in politics, really. For Kennedys, they just die in tragedies. Something bad's going to happen. He'll either die in a tragedy or he'll kill a woman with a car.
Starting point is 01:18:34 Didn't Ted Kennedy kill a woman in a car? They all die tragically. There's a parlay on FanDuel for it. Yeah. Hillary Clinton does have a weird connection to a lot of people dying around her, though. It's very Putin- on FanDuel for it. Yeah. Hillary Clinton does have a weird, there's a weird connection to a lot of people dying around her, though. It is very Putin-esque in a way. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:18:50 Anyway. So this is, RFK, he became an internet hero. He was the new Andrew Yang, but for libertarians. Everything's become very college freshman, liberal arts. That's what I've noticed. Everything's, because when you go to college and you're a freshman, you go to like a, oh, I know, I was there three weeks ago.
Starting point is 01:19:14 Everyone's like, you know, yeah, you was learning along. Everyone's like fucking certain. Everyone's certain about shit. Everyone's fucking certain, conspiratorial, big ideas. You feel cool. You feel like you know everything Certainty and conspiracy are big I think in a freshman dorm room That's also when you get introduced to Ayn Rand
Starting point is 01:19:34 For the first time And you're like fucking reason Fucking pure Fucking heroes Fucking You know you get introduced to communism For the first time You're like the fucking system You heard about time. You're like, the fucking system.
Starting point is 01:19:46 You heard about Vietnam and you're like, we're fucking evil. And you're doing all this with a Batman poster on your wall. Yeah, you're like, we're evil. And then you're like, all right, yeah, it was bad. But also communism is also bad. It's a lot of bad. Yeah, Henry Kissinger's bad. This was bad, bad, bad.
Starting point is 01:19:59 The military industrial complex is bad. But it was also good in World War II. It was good that we were good at making weapons. It was good. So the adult world is full of trade-offs, as the great Thomas Sowell said. But now everyone's certain in issuing edicts. So here comes RFK onto the scene, and he becomes a fucking internet hero quick. He came quick. Now the problem is
Starting point is 01:20:26 the problem is people elevate. Like, elevation happens, right? It's like this cult-like elevation. Where they turn a guy into, like, David Koresh. You know, they're like, this is Jesus. And he said something
Starting point is 01:20:41 negative about Ukraine. He said something negative about the vaccine. And so now you're locked into that, okay? Now you're locked in. Don't you dare. That's when you need an advisor. That's when RFK needed an advisor to go, hey, listen. Now you're not a full person anymore.
Starting point is 01:21:04 You represent, you're not a full person anymore. You represent, you're a figure that represents what these people believe. You're not a full person anymore. You're a symbol. You're an anti-vax symbol. You're an anti-money to Ukraine symbol. Stick to that.
Starting point is 01:21:22 Don't you dare get out of that box because don't think for one second anyone who's not on the internet even knows you're running for president. This is an internet thing. It's on Twitter. It's on podcasts. We're talking Dave Rubin. We're talking Jordan Peterson.
Starting point is 01:21:38 We're talking fucking the Dark Knights, the Dark Horses. You're talking podcasts, baby. This is Super Bowl commercial. You're in the podcast, baby. You are fucking in the bowels of communication. You're in it. You're fucking in it. All right? Don't you dare say anything nuanced on Ukraine.
Starting point is 01:21:57 So he gives the speech. He does not have that advisor who warns him not to say anything nuanced about Ukraine. He seems to lack awareness about who his fan base is. And he, like other examples in the past, says something that doesn't toe the line of the fucking hardliners who support him, which is really the only support he has, the hardliners.
Starting point is 01:22:21 Because everybody else just doesn't know it's happening. And he's not a viable candidate I mean this is America You can't talk like a scared old granny You know You can't talk like Little Red Riding Hood And get elected You just can't
Starting point is 01:22:38 So you gotta be tall You know You gotta be tall You just gotta be tall You know Strapping, yeah You gotta be tall Commanding You just gotta be tall Have a sex scandal Yeah, you gotta have a sex scandal You gotta be tall
Starting point is 01:22:49 You gotta be a reptile Be over the age of 80 You gotta be in the elites You gotta be in Skull and Bones You gotta, whatever it is You gotta be elite You gotta make a deal with the devil You gotta Rothschild
Starting point is 01:22:57 You gotta know George Soros Whatever it is George Soros has to smear blood on your asshole There's certain ways you get in There's other ways you can't. But what disease does he have? He's got spasmodic dysphonia, whatever. It makes his voice weird.
Starting point is 01:23:13 I'm sorry to be making fun of that, but he does sound like a scared granny, and I think I'm going to tweet that. He does sound like a frightened granny. He does sound like a granny trying to negotiate with someone who just broke into her house. There's some fentanyl addict who just came in through the window of the living room, and she's going, there's no money in here. So he does his speech
Starting point is 01:23:29 and he says, I believe we're in Ukraine because we're good people. You want to take a listen to it? Let's take a peek at it. I sent it to you. So this is the part. And people who supported him got very upset. And they said, I'm done with you. I loved you and I'm done with you. I loved you, and now I'm done with you.
Starting point is 01:23:47 And then other people were going, no, no, no, no, it was edited wrong, look at the full context of what he said. But still the hardliners are going, no, he still said that his son was in Ukraine, he's proud of his son who was a gunner, and also we're in Ukraine because we're primarily good people, and the Ukrainian people are being brutalized. And for some reason, that made people very, his supporters, very upset.
Starting point is 01:24:10 That we are in the Ukraine. Scared granny. For all the right reasons. There's no money in my bedroom. We are there because we are a good people. Oh! And, you know, Abraham Lincoln said America is a great nation because we're a good nation and we continue to be a good people and we are there because of our compassion
Starting point is 01:24:33 the ukrainian people who have been brutalized who've been illegally invaded and have shown extraordinary valor and courage defending their country and defending their families and their beliefs and their liberties and their independence. Things that Americans have to admire. Wait, can you just pause it? My own.
Starting point is 01:24:57 Where is he giving this speech? Donald Rowling's family reunion? Yeah, it's real. It's black back there, yeah. Like, where is that? It looks like a line for a checks cashing place. Yeah, I mean, what are we talking? Is that at a Tony Rock show?
Starting point is 01:25:08 Yeah, but so far I agree with white Terrence Howard. Yeah, I mean, here's the deal. Yeah, he does look like a... Here's the deal. I don't disagree with what he's saying necessarily. I don't know enough, but what he's saying sounds like a very nice thing someone would say. He's saying all the right things.
Starting point is 01:25:21 It does seem like Putin did invade the country. I don't know if anyone's disputing that it does seem like the ukrainians are being brutalized those are the hard facts right there yeah seems like the heart so far it seems like the hard fact but to his supporters that no because this is nato's fault yeah so hearing this this is our fault who is just a who's just a victim putin is just an innocent victim who would have no... He's a dictator, a benign dictator, who would have no ambition to expand his borders or threaten us at all.
Starting point is 01:25:56 He's just a guy trying to fucking drink vodka and look at chicks and grow... What do they do over there? Sell gas. He just wants to sell gas to Europe and be fucking chill. He's not ambitious at all. He has remained in power for so long
Starting point is 01:26:15 by through chicanery and tricky means. He went out of power, put in a puppet, and went back in power. He did all that because he loves service
Starting point is 01:26:28 he loves service he couldn't get enough it had nothing to do with his ego or he's power hungry addicted to helping people he's a social worker if he wasn't
Starting point is 01:26:37 if he wasn't the dictator of Ukraine he'd be working for Lutheran social services he's a social worker in a hospital he's a social worker at a hospital. He's a nun.
Starting point is 01:26:48 So that's Putin. He's a good fucking guy. And also very smart. Tough. And admirable. Or whatever else he was called. So here's the rest of this. I'm Connor.
Starting point is 01:27:04 I'm very, very proud that Connor... People got pissed at this. ...joined the Foreign Legion and fought in the Ukraine during the Kharkiv offensive as a machine gunner for a special forces group. So... Why are you drinking that water? It's going to clear up Your voice motherfucker
Starting point is 01:27:25 You know that shit Not gonna do nothing So they got pissed Cause they're like Not only did he say We're a good people We're there for the right reasons He said that his son
Starting point is 01:27:34 Actually was there And shed precious Russian soldier blood Potentially killed Some precious Russian Nazi delibera Nazi liberators. That's what they were initially there for, I think, to denazify
Starting point is 01:27:50 the joint. It's basically like his son might have killed some heroes. This happened and it set off an alarm and then there were people who were defending RFK who were like, no, no, no, no, no, no. This was selectively edited.
Starting point is 01:28:06 Watch it in a larger context. I watched in a larger context. Here's the funny part. Here's the funny part. First off, you had to turn your phone all the way up. I'm not going to get this
Starting point is 01:28:14 because it's the internet, but I'm just right. I mean, what do you want me to do? So I watched the larger context and he said more reasonable stuff right but the problem with the people who were posting watch the larger context don't understand is that you're not going to convince people who are unreasonable you're not it doesn't matter he already said his son fought in ukraine
Starting point is 01:28:39 he already said that we're there because we're good people and they're bad and it was illegally invaded so it's done it's done you just have to understand that that's primarily the people who are supporting right here the tweet from uh mr ian i ian miles chong i love this kid he's a i he follows me and i follow him so he's just like a right wing, uh, like media guy, but he's like, uh, independent. He just tweets shit all the time. Um, but he's like, he's also a gay Asian guy. Um, so he fits the niche, a very, uh, very, uh, it's still, he stands out anyway. He goes, Oh no. RFK says the United States is involved. So right there, he puts it into, we like, oh no. Oh no! How dare he? How dare he suggest
Starting point is 01:29:27 that we are not the evil one here. Putin is just a defenseless girl walking home at 12 a.m. trying to get to her place. And there's aggressive
Starting point is 01:29:43 males there who are trying to stop her. And those males are the NATO, us, and the Ukraine. We're the criminals. And Putin is just a cute little intoxicated college dame trying to get back to her dorm room so she can study. Bad NATO. Shame on us.
Starting point is 01:30:09 So that's where we are. RFK, I think, lost his support. Now we're stuck with Mr. Fallsdowns. We're stuck with a guy who likes to tumble. Here's how he should cover for it. He should say, hey, I've been taking jujitsu. I just want to work on my floor game. It's going to be Joe Biden versus whoever's coming up.
Starting point is 01:30:34 If you ask Sean Terry, to be honest with you, it's DeSantis or Trump. I'll take either one. Guys, come see me live June 24th at Soul Joel's in Pottstown, PA. The Wilbur Theater in Boston, July 8th. Poughkeepsie, July 21st and 22nd. Jordan Landing, Utah, August 4th and 5th.
Starting point is 01:30:54 The Paramount in Long Island. Plano, Texas. Springfield, Missouri. Calgary, Alberta. Fort Wayne, Indiana. Red Bank, New Jersey, October 14th. Cobb, San Francisco, October 27th, 28th. Sony Hall, November 4th. Providence, San Francisco, October 27th, 28th. Sony Hall, November 4th.
Starting point is 01:31:06 Providence, Rhode Island. Phoenix. Spokane, Washington. Tulsa. Louisville. And Toronto has been rescheduled to March 23rd at the Royal Theater. Get your tickets at yannispappascomedy.com, patreon.com slash yannispappashour for a bonus episode. Now a word from our small business shout-outs.
Starting point is 01:31:25 What's up? You know, we want to give a shout-out to our small business shout-outs on Patreon, brooklyncannery.com. Get yourself some healthy prebiotic sodas with natural sugar. The calories are low, and they're healthier for you and good for your gut, and they're delicious. Code Giannis Pappas for 15% off at brooklyncannery.com. Also, we got exclusiveautoshipping.com.
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Starting point is 01:32:55 and for their hooves not touching the little beams that knock down. But then she had a terrible, terrible back accident. Like Christopher Reeves. She had a Christopher Reeves back accident. So her dream was taken away from her, but she still loved horses.
Starting point is 01:33:08 So she was able to train herself back up through physical therapy that Jesse goes through for his knee. Sam Goubert also went there, got her back strong enough that she could,
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Starting point is 01:34:01 So that's the good news. You'll have to leave a message. So go check out Sam Gubera. Sportshorseferrier.com, 864-200-9007. She's got 10 years of experience in the Nashville area. The good news is primarily the demographic that listens to this show are not only horse owners, but horse owners from a particularly specific region. So it's great to have her.
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