Yannis Pappas Hour - Slut Shaming NATO
Episode Date: June 9, 2023Brand new episode coming at you very late. From now on episodes will air on Sundays and bonus eps will air on Patreon Wednesdays. This one is all about having some fun with the theories on why the Rus...sia Ukraine war is happening. Yanni goes bare knuckles on this one. Yannis Pappas Hour is your new favorite podcast. Comedian Yannis Pappas wants to bring us all together by ripping everyone apart. Yannis Pappas identifies as a certified historian, P.R. Rep, social scientist, journalist and gender dysphoria expert. Join us every week to learn the future, analyze the past and defend the un-defendable.  See Yanni do stand up, live Dates & Cities below All tickets: https://www.yannispappascomedy.com  Boston July 8 Poughkeepsie, July 21-22 Long Island Aug 17 Salt Lake City aug 4-5 Dallas Aug 24-26 Springfield l, MO sept 7-9 Calgary Sept 22–23 FORTË Wayne, Indiana Sept 29-30 Red Bank, NJ Oct 14 San Fran Oct 27-28 New York Nov 4 Providence Nov 10-11 Phoenix Nov 16-18 Spokane Dec 1-2 Tulsa Dec 8-9 Louisville Dec 15-16 Toronto March 23 Watch Yanni’s stand up special: https://youtu.be/ArlCFemEDvQ  Join our highlights page for highlight clips from the episodes: https://youtube.com/channel/UCfMy34qIYYy7XiRaHKO1ykw  New episodes every Sunday and new bonus episodes every Wednesday at https://www.patreon.com/yannispappashour?utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator  Â
Transcript
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What's up, everybody? Welcome to an all-new, brand-new Giannis Pappas Hour.
Guess what? I have reproduced again. I got another girl. I'm a girl dad.
I posted a photo of my wife and my kid to promote my dates coming up
because I want to monetize my family immediately.
We're going to be talking about the Ukraine, the Soviet Union,
and slut-shaming NATO on this episode.
Is it cool to slut-shame NATO?
Was it their fault?
Is it their fault that Putin attacked the Ukraine?
Well, why was NATO asking for it?
Ukraine was walking around all sexy,
walking home late at night wearing a miniskirt,
alone in the park.
Of course, Russia was going to rape it.
Enjoy this episode.
We just got limited monetized.
Guys, for all my dates,
go to my website,
yannispappascomedy.com.
Also, for our bonus episodes,
patreon.com slash yannispappasour.
I will be listing all the dates
at the end of the episode
because we were really trying
to get you to stick around.
It's really a catch-22.
Either I tell fans where I'm
going to be at the beginning of the episode
when they're listening, and then people
tune out, or I do it later. It's a catch-22.
But I've created another
girl. It's all done.
My little girl
is here.
We took her to the pediatrician
She's not an alcoholic
Thank God
Because all babies are jaundiced
They get a little yellow
And then the first thing
The pediatrics
Remember, pediatricians
They got a shtick
We talked about that
In a previous episode
It's got to be the easiest doctor job
But also with the risk of the worst
Right?
So it's like people
Cancer doctors have the worst job because it's rarely good news.
Rarely.
They rarely go, you got cancer, but here's the good news is that I got some leftover
Chick-fil-A that you can have because I couldn't finish.
I ordered extra chicken fingers from Chick-fil-A.
So you do have cancer, but also you want some of my Chick-fil-A?
So it's always bad, right?
I'm rarely good.
But pediatricians,
you're basically a clown.
Always happy.
You got your shtick.
Only once in a while
do you have to say,
when it's bad,
it's really fucking bad.
It's like nuclear war.
It's like,
you know,
it's not a skirmish.
It's a nuclear war. When something goes bad, know, it's not a skirmish. It's a nuclear war.
When something goes bad, you got horrific news.
Like when you're like, ah, your baby's retarded.
You know, you're like, oh, your baby's dead?
Your baby's died?
Oh, your baby's got no nose?
Your baby was born without a foot?
It's bad.
It's bad, bad, bad.
Your baby's got this rare disease, sickle
aliac. And you're going, what? Like, I don't even know how they do. They prep them with
like a balloon or a horn when they come in. Wait, wait, wait. Here's the good news. Here's
your daughters with daddy pin. Your daughters with daddy pin. That's the good news. The
bad news is, is nobody's going to be you don't have to protect your daughter because nobody's
going to be able to fuck her because she's going to be born without feet.
So that's the bad news.
Because, you know, my pediatrician gives us a daddy with daughters pin.
He goes, you're in part of an exclusive club.
We got to protect our daughters.
You know, it's the whole joke about, you know, the old cliche joke,
don't let anyone date your daughter.
So I think that's how I would do it.
I give the pin and then go, okay. But also, you're not going to have to wear this pin
And you're not going to have to worry about it
Because your daughter's not going to be sought after
By the able-bodied community
So it's, you know, it can get bad
It can be very bad
But all babies are jaundiced
They're yellow, right?
I didn't remember that from my first baby But my second baby, they're all jaundiced They're yellow Yeah Right I didn't remember that
From my first baby
But my second baby
They're all jaundiced
They're yellowish
Which is the same thing
That happens to alcoholics
When their liver starts failing
They become yellow
Yeah
Right
They start
To look like
An Asian slur
Right
So
That would be my shtick Since all babies are jaundiced I would come in And my first joke would be my shtick
Since all babies are jaundiced
I would come in
And my first joke would be
As a pediatrician
I'd go
How much does this baby drink?
Is your baby a drinker?
How many days a week
Would you say your baby drinks?
Yeah
That would be my first joke
And then the parents would look
And they'd laugh
And I'd go
You know
And then I'd do my horn
Or
Or the daddy's with daughter pin
That's your opening bit
That would be my opening bit
That would be my
How y'all feeling y'all good
Yeah
That would be my
How you feeling y'all good
And you'd do a closer at the end
Like stay off the Similac cake
Stay off the Similac cake
What did you do different to your hair
I twisted it
But it's always twisted
But it looks a little different
Well if you ask some people
It was matted before.
But I twisted it.
Take two strands and you twist it.
Yeah.
Here's the deal.
We can always live as one.
Yeah.
But we'll always have separate barbershops.
Separate barbershops.
Yeah.
You know, the thing is, when integration happened, the one place that was like, this doesn't matter to us, was barbershops.
You know, you just, it's just, they're separate but equal, hopefully.
Yeah, yeah.
I mean, they are segregated.
Barbershops are segregated.
But they should be.
But that's the funny thing, is that they should be.
They need them to be.
Yeah, that would be a funny movie if someone tried to integrate barbershops,
and black people and white people resisted it for the right reasons.
Right?
Yeah, like, if you think I'm going to get a haircut to Natasha
Benningfield, you got another thing coming, dog.
It's just not going to happen.
It's not going to happen.
White people don't understand your hair.
Yeah.
You know?
And you don't understand their love for Grease, the movie.
There's certain things that's like, it's never going to cross.
Yeah.
Like, I understand why black people would look at white girls
strange because they're watching Grease and they're like,
they're going, what is're like, they're going,
what is this?
And they're going,
there's something white about liking Grease.
Very white.
And also,
it seemed like she was admitting to rape
a little bit in that song.
But yeah,
it's very white.
Yeah,
you could do that back in the day.
It's cold outside.
You could stand in front of the door
and convince a girl to stay,
you know,
back in that day.
Like,
yeah,
triple platinum, like, dog, that day. Like, yeah, triple platinum.
Like, dog, that was a felony, too, he just committed.
Yeah, we had this photographer who took the pictures of her baby right when, you know,
at the hospital.
They have a photographer that comes and bangs you out for a couple hundo to take these photos.
Yeah.
And you do it.
And I had to do it because we did it for our other daughter.
And now I want to make sure that whatever I did for my other daughter, I do for this
daughter so they don't hate each other, which they're inevitably gonna, but they'll be close when they're older
because of sibling rivalry.
It is what it is, right?
But we got this chick.
She happened to be like one of these radical lesbos
who had two kids
but was trying to tell us about all these songs
that were now condoned rape.
And I don't remember.
She was talking about all these old movies
and she was like,
but you watch it now and it's creepy. And my wife was going like, I don't even know She was talking about all these old movies, and she was like, but you watch it now, and it's creepy.
And my wife was going like,
I don't even know what you're talking about.
And I don't know.
I haven't seen any of them.
But it was an uncomfortable conversation to be having
while we were trying to maneuver my two-year-old daughter
into vanity poses for pictures
to talk about whether Baby, It's Cold Outside
is about sexual assault.
It's like, can we just put the bow on my baby's head and take these pictures?
We're trying to get out of this hospital, and I'm paying for the pictures.
I'm not paying for the conversation.
That's a really weird.
I'm not paying for the conversation with a progressive.
What was her haircut, though?
You know what her haircut was.
Yeah.
Right?
Because you can't judge a book by its cover, but you can definitely judge a conversation by its haircut.
She had a closer fade than I did.
Yeah.
She did.
It was long on the top and then just bald on one side.
Her haircut kind of reminded me of Nicola Jokic's haircut.
Yeah.
It looked like she was going off to the military.
Mm-hmm. She had a military cut. She had a Marines cut. She looked like she was going off to the military She had a military cut
She had a Marines cut
She looked like she was going to fight with Leif Erikson
She did
I mean
She looked like Tyler Hero
She looked like Tyler Hero
So anyway
You know that would be my shtick
So my baby's here
So that's why we're late
Congrats
That's why this episode
Thank you very much Thank you very much.
Thank you very much.
Jared, how great does Jesse look in his Ted Blundy glasses, though?
They've worked for you, dude.
The glasses just look good.
Yeah, they do work.
They work, dude.
You look good with glasses.
You also look like you junkyard dive for spokes from a bicycle.
Say that again?
Like you junkyard dive for spokes from a bicycle.
Junkyard diveived? Yeah.
Oh, I went, okay. Yeah.
You know, it happens to me too,
Doug. Your brain works quick and sometimes your mouth
needs to catch up. Yeah, I said junkyard dived?
You said junkyard dog. It sounded like you said
junkyard dog. Oh, I'm sorry. But it's
a good joke, I think, but it was just sometimes
your mouth needs to catch up to your brain. Sometimes when I look at Jesse, I get
scared. Yeah, because he looks like
he's basically saying you look like
you're a substitute computer teacher
that will molest children.
Right.
Yeah.
With those glasses.
But his joke was that I found a bicycle in the garbage.
Yeah, you look like you take different parts
and make art out of it.
I'd build a bike.
Yeah.
With bound parts.
Yeah.
I was just getting the...
Yeah.
I think...
Look, that's inventive.
Either way with those glasses, my body's going to be decomposing in the bathtub.
Here's the thing, though.
Yours was creative and inventive.
You would have got it out right.
Here's the thing about some of your analogies.
Sometimes they're so good, they require an explanation.
Yeah.
Right?
I went for the hacky old one, like, oh, look, he's got molester glasses on because he looks like a white guy from the 70s.
Let's be honest.
Any guy who's white, who's dressed like he is from the 70s let's be honest any guy who's white who's dressed like
he is from the 70s and has like big rim glasses you're like that's a child molester face
automatically with the receding hairline because for some reason no child molesters have full head
of hair no something about losing your hair makes you susceptible to want to molest kids yeah or at
least be stereotyped as such a prerequisite to raping kids is hymns.
Hymns, right.
Get hymns
or else you'll rape kids.
I'm sure they'd be
thrilled about that ad.
Whatever,
what was that last ad
they did like our thing
because we made a joke?
It was, yeah,
for Native Sunscreen.
Yeah, well, yeah,
maybe cut this part out.
But no, leave it in.
Who gives a shit?
We're done with them anyway.
I don't want to promote
you anymore anyway.
But anyway,
they got upset because we made a joke that native sunscreen was for white people.
Yeah.
I mean, what about truth in advertising?
You're advertising on podcasts.
You're not a Sprite commercial.
You don't have LeBron lying to people.
You have a fucking couple of comedians sitting in an old living room telling jokes to 50,000 people.
This is real shit.
Can we tell the truth?
The truth is white people use sunscreen.
What's the big deal?
They hated that we said this is an advertisement for whitey.
And they said we had to redo the episode.
You got a DM, right, from somebody that said,
I have a mixed daughter and she needs sunscreen to live.
Well, yeah, actually there was someone who got mad about it.
Yeah, they got mad at me.
They said, I don't know what I'm talking about.
Yeah, they got mad at you because they're like mixed people.
You're like, shut up. We're
doing comedy here. We're not going for
accuracy. We're not going for accuracy.
Okay? We're not political pundits
trying to solve the Ukraine crisis
on a fucking podcast. And if anyone's taking
sunscreen advice from this podcast, they should
burn anyway. Yeah, but
isn't that funny when someone clearly
messaged you a three paragraph DM
about how you're wrong, that mixed babies don't need sunscreen?
Because you just want to redirect them to better help.
You just want to send them a link and go,
this, you have a mental illness.
We're a comedy podcast.
We're never going for accuracy.
Whenever I'm talking, I'm trying to elicit a laugh.
I'm trying to get fucking child molester face over there to giggle.
That's my whole existence.
We're not trying to figure out who exactly is going to use fucking native
sunscreen because we don't give a shit.
Not only do I give a shit whether you use sunscreen or not,
I don't give a shit about native.
I don't care about native.
The deodorant sucks. I sweated
right through it, and I don't want to smell like fucking
cotton candy. Alright? I'm an
adult. Why am I smelling like
goddamn licorice? I don't want to smell like a fucking
M&M store when I go in and order a scotch.
Okay?
When you sweat, it smells like the carnivals in town.
What kind of stupid idea was that to name
deodorants fucking after candies?
You know what's actually funny? It's the perfect deodorant for a pedophile. It that to name deodorants fucking after candies. You know what's actually funny?
It's the perfect deodorant for a pedophile.
It is the perfect deodorant for a pedophile.
Now, look, I'm joking.
I use Native and I like it.
I do.
I got it on right now.
Well, you got to understand what these fucking ad people need to understand.
It's like that's you got to just go with the flow of what a comedy podcast is.
You can't ask us to deliver A Sprite-like commercial
We're gonna shit on it
They don't even give you a copy
They give you
They want you to ad-lib
And then they don't like
When you ad-lib
It's crazy
They don't like when you ad-lib
When you shit on their product
It's like
What do you want me to do?
I'm here to rip everything apart
What do you want me to do?
You want me to be nice?
They should just give you a script
You're the contractor of comedy
Yeah
If you want to be nice
Go listen to the Tim Dillon show
He's a sweetheart
So anyway
Shout out to Native
We're not getting paid for that
But now a lot of people know what their name is
So
I don't know
You look sort of like a lesbian basketball player today
What do you mean?
There's a
I don't know
You look younger
I do?
Yeah
Nice
Don't you feel like he looks younger?
Yeah
He's looking good
Yeah
I don't know what it is
He's looking clean
He's looking clean
I got a high taper fade
Instead of a low taper fade
When you mix youth
Yeah
When you mix like the young youthful look
With clean
It just
It's like an equation
It equals lesbian look
Yeah
Yeah like
Cause you're not a You're not a like big big jaw, five o'clock shadow type of kid.
You're like a smooth.
You look like you could be dating the Center for Liberty.
Yeah.
What's her name?
Stewart?
Brianna Stewart.
Brianna Stewart.
I mean, take a look at Brianna Stewart.
If her and Brittany Griner were coming to the courts,
I'd say, what's up, fellas?
You want to play two on two?
I mean, Brittany Griner and Christina Stewart.
There she is.
I mean, when she puts makeup on,
some people are born with different...
Look, gender is a little bit of a spectrum.
A little bit.
Sometimes you don't even need to have gender
affirming care to be on the spectrum.
She's a girl, obviously, but I'm
saying I think she might have been born
with a little more testosterone. I don't know.
She's a girl.
But she's a big girl. She got off at the female
exit late. She got... She's
not... Yeah. Some of these girls are... But she's a big girl. She got off at the female exit late. She's not.
Yeah.
Some of these girls are.
It was like she was going to the male exit, and the last turn, her GPS said, oh, you got to make a right.
She said, oh, God, let me make a right.
Real quick.
If Brittany Griner said, hey, I'm trans.
I identify as a guy.
I want to start hormone therapy. I think even the most progressive gender affirming care would go, you're good.
You don't need it.
You're good. Yeah. Yeah. It's gone like
you already, you're there.
Yeah. You're there, Brittany.
Like Brittany with a short haircut. Let's go to Brittany
with a short haircut. I mean, look, it's Jared
Harvick without the goatee.
I mean,
there's Brittany. We're all happy to have Brittany back.
We are.
We're happy to have Brittany back.
And we're just joking.
What's her name?
Christina Stewart?
Brianna Stewart.
Brianna Stewart is a beautiful, beautiful chick, too.
I mean, it's just, look, I'm not trying to be mean.
She knows.
Everyone knows, right?
She's like 6'10".
She's the only basketball player that can box out with her ears.
Right.
She's got a big face.
You know,
I got small beady eyes,
so I always beat myself up too.
I mean,
they're not that beady.
I can see your eyes.
Yeah, and look,
she's pretty, dog.
I mean, you know,
she's got a little bit of a,
you know,
she's pretty.
If you squish,
she kind of looks like
Christina Hutchinson.
Yeah, I mean,
if you close your eyes,
she looks like,
I don't know if you're watching
The Liberty or Guys Be Fucked. Yeah, listen, she's pretty. If you close your eyes, she looks like... I'm not sure if you're watching the Liberty or Guys Be Fucked.
Yeah, listen, she's pretty.
If you close your eyes, she looks like Jennifer Aniston.
But you have to close your eyes.
Close them real tight.
No, she's beautiful.
She is.
We're all different.
I like diversity of looks.
I would love if... I don't know if she's straight.
Is she straight?
I don't think so.
I mean, if you were a gambling man, what would you put on?
See, here's the thing.
None of us have any idea because we're not Liberty.
We're not WNBA fans, which is wrong of us.
I apologize for that in advance.
But none of us actually know.
Seriously, what would you guess, you know, is her sexual orientation?
I'm going to go there's a 97% chance
she does not like guys.
What do you think?
Yeah, I'm going to side with you on that one.
Jesse, what do you think?
Yeah.
Yeah, now they say you can't judge a book by its cover,
but you can definitely judge a lesbian
by her height and her fucking voice.
Sport and voice.
There she is with Yeah So we nailed it
And I don't know why sometimes
You know you used to be able to call that street smarts
Now look you don't want to
You don't want to generalize
You don't want to stereotype
You don't want to do those things
But sometimes the chances are
You know things do kind of follow what you think they do
Sometimes you got to trust your gut
Sometimes you just go like, all right, look,
if she was straight, I'd be surprised.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah.
I'd be surprised.
There's a really good basketball player in the WNWA
who does have your haircut.
And that's what made me think of it.
I can't remember her name, but she's one of the best players.
She's like one of the five best players in the league.
And so that's what made me say it.
It's not because you look like Brittany Griner.
I'm just joking.
No, it's okay.
It's the hair.
You said I look like a lesbian before, so it's okay.
Yeah, but you know, when I shave, I look like a lesbian as well.
We don't have manly faces.
You don't.
We really don't.
Yeah, I look like Melissa Etheridge when I don't shave.
Yeah.
Jesse would still look like a guy if you have a guy's face.
Yeah.
Me and you, we would transition nicely.
We'd look like kindergarten teachers.
We would look like sweet, sweet ladies.
You guys are pretty.
If we pumped our...
I'm already got estrogen in me because I eat tofu and I cry on the road.
You cut Jared off on that joke.
What was he about to say?
He was waiting to hit you with that, crying on the road.
So, Brittany Griner, Sue Bird.
Sue Bird's also a lesbian.
She's from Long Island.
Rihanna Stewart, lesbian.
Diana Teruso, lesbian.
Elena Della Donna.
These are all some of the best.
They're lesbians.
Now, why?
Why are so many athletes lesbian?
Is there something about playing sport?
Like, why is that?
Why aren't, you know?
I think he just puts you in an exclusive club
where you can only hook up with people who are as tall as you
or look like you.
Yeah, but does it have something to do with, like, the way they are?
Like, they got more testosterone or, like, that they like ladies?
Because you can't deny the fact
that a lot of female athletes are lesbian, right?
There's more female athletes that are lesbian
than, let's say, models, right? Or
I don't know, waitresses. What other job
women do? Politicians. I don't
know. There's a higher percentage of lesbians in sports, right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So there's got to be a reason why, right? What is the reason?
Is it the diet?
What is it?
Is it the dads didn't pay?
Why?
It's because it's a more masculine sport.
I'm asking you because you're a scientist and I want an answer.
It's masculinity.
It's a masculine sport.
Yeah, it's masculinity.
Are you allowed to say that nowadays?
Yeah.
Because that's the obvious reason, right?
Like, why are there more gay guys who do fucking ballet dancing?
Because guess what? It's feminine. Can you say that shit? I mean, right? Like, why are there more gay guys who do fucking ballet dancing? Because guess what?
It's feminine.
Can you say that shit?
I mean, that admits that there's a spectrum.
But also, that doesn't make sense because ballets usually have tighter butts.
Yeah, but could you imagine?
Could you fucking?
Well, here's the thing.
Herschel Walker used to do ballet.
And he liked to, as we know, he liked to abort children.
Yeah.
He liked to make them and break them.
I mean, look how his son turned out.
Yeah, but it's his. He made it, so can't he break it?
Here's the deal. He did it to work on his
footwork.
I don't think a lot of straight guys get into dance.
Although if you did, you'd clean up.
It is a great...
You would clean up.
All the other guys are just...
You would not be one of the girls.
You would be different.
But, you know, people can't get along.
People can't get along.
You know, it's nice to see women on teams in the WNBA
playing each other in an organized situation
where they know who the enemy is.
They can get it out, right?
Because usually women are passive aggressive.
According to Jordan Peterson, you know, they gossip.
When women take out aggression, it's with gossip.
That's what he says.
Nasty women.
They're not physical.
They gossip.
And they reputation ruin.
Or they ruin reputations.
That's how women fight.
I like your impression.
You make him sound like an elf.
Hi, my name's Jordan Peterson.
Women,
passive aggressive women.
Yeah.
He does have like a rage in him, doesn't he?
I always feel like
he's very intense.
Sounds like he's trying to hold something down.
He's not a sweet, like, do you feel like he's like an empathetic guy?
Or do you feel like, no.
No.
Why would you do that?
Yeah.
He's, like, got a rage in him that's, like, controlled, right?
Like an anger.
I feel like he could watch, like, puppies be set on fire and not react at all.
Do you think he knows?
Because he's very good at breaking everybody else down.
Do you think he knows that a lot
of his opinions and the way he delivers them is
because he got hanged on a few lockers
by his fucking tighty whities? No.
Any man that wears an ascot is not self-aware.
Because there's no way a dude
that skinny and nerdy with food
allergies didn't get hanged on a
few fucking coat hangers. He got beat by his
tighty whities. He's not exactly a jock. He got thrown into a few fucking coat hangers. He got beat by his tighty whities.
He's not exactly a jock.
He got thrown into a fucking locker like a skateboard.
He got tossed into a few pools.
He got picked up and thrown into the
kiddie pool when he was an adult by somebody.
Once in a while. He's angry.
I always sense this kind of
rage. Jesse, you notice that?
There's like a rage under his
tighty controls his rage. He tries to seem very together. No! No!
No! Why would you do that? And it's in his eyes. He's like, intense?
You want to be dangerous. You want to be a killer. You want
to be able to murder people with your bare hands, but not do it.
You don't want to be weak. Weak people are dangerous. You want to be a serial
killer. You want to be a serial killer who rapes?
But don't do it. Control it.
Is that really what you mean?
You know what I'm talking about?
Be dangerous.
Why was Jordan Peterson on antidepressants?
I don't know why that's pulled up.
I want the answer now.
Why was Jordan Peterson on antidepressants?
I don't know why that's pulled up.
I want the answer now.
Jordan Peterson spoke during a television interview with his daughter in 2012
of both he and his family's histories of severe depression.
He made a very emotive comment in the interview
that due to severe disruption to his functioning when depressed,
he would take antidepressants for the rest of his life. But then he realized all he had to do was eat meat,
salt and water. And I never sway from it. You ever see him answer that question? And he said
it very seriously, too, like like someone was attacking him. He goes, well, I eat meat, salt
and water and I never sway from it. You're like, alright, dude, I don't
care. I'm not threatening you. I'm not threatening you with vegetables.
Eat what you want. But he's got some sort of
autoimmune disease. I just think he's Canadian and they're pussies.
That's the problem. They don't know how to compute rage. They don't know how to compute rage.
Anyway, now he dresses like so nice.
It's funny how money can change you.
You're obviously overcompensating for something.
He used to dress like a Canadian psychiatry professor
with khakis and hush puppy shoes
with the shoelaces tightly laced hitting the floor.
You know, and like a dirty shirt.
And his hair was all weird.
Now, I mean, the guy's like Armani suits.
I mean, look at him now.
Yeah, dapper.
I mean, he looks like Ralph Lauren now.
He looks like he's got a fashion line.
He's just dapper as hell.
He's got a little coin now. Yeah. He's a dapper as hell. He's got a little coin now.
Yeah.
He's a smart guy, though, man.
I mean, he does, when you listen to him talk, he's very smart.
And listen, you know, his claim to fame was he fought back against the wokeness when they said, you know, when Canada, he came to fame.
Canada said, you have to address people.
It's going to be law.
You have to address people based on the pronouns that they want you to address them as.
So they were going to codify that.
Fuck that.
Which is wild.
To codify that language or something like that.
So I agree with him on that.
Anyway, he rose to fame.
He went on Rogan.
Now he fucking sells out arenas.
Talking about psychiatry.
And he gives his opinion on Ukraine.
I mean, everyone's throwing their hat in
on the fucking Ukraine-Russia thing.
The Ukraine-Russia thing, you know,
everyone's throwing their hat in the fucking ring.
Everyone's got an opinion.
It's become like the new Michael vs. LeBron.
It's the new Michael vs. LeBron. Everyone's got an opinion It's become like the new Michael vs. LeBron It's the new Michael vs. LeBron
Everyone's got an opinion
There's a lot of people who
New school, they're very much for Ukraine
That's like LeBron
And then you got the people
Shut the fuck up
And then you got the other people
Who are a little more old school
Who watched Russia during the Cold War
And they go, look, that was the greatest of all time
The former Soviet Union, that's the goat They're like, go, look, that was the greatest of all time The former Soviet Union
That's the goat
Russia's LeBron
He plays, he's a little
He distributes the ball a little bit more
So
It's a big thing
This could go on for another 20 years
I don't see an end in sight
But I do know that probably
a couple hundred thousand Russians are
dead. They like
to die. They're good at it.
The way Kenyans can
do marathons, Russians
could die. If dying
was a
sport in the Olympics, Russians
would dominate, dude. And they would still get caught for doping.
They would get caught for doping and they would dominate.
I mean, they're the best at dying.
History, you look at history,
you could always throw about a million Russians at death
and they're just gone.
Somehow this isn't a civil war, right?
I guess Ukraine and Russia,
I guess their languages are a little different.
I don't know anything about Ukraine's perspective because I live in America. I'm not a foreign
affairs expert. I'm not a geopolitical expert. I do know that Ukraine's upset about it, right?
I don't think they are.
Do you think they're happy that Russia invaded them?
A little bit.
Yeah, because they like to get hit, right?
Yeah, a little bit.
Some countries like to get hit,
just like some girls like to get choked.
I think they're happy about it.
Yeah.
It's some extra demolition that they didn't have to pay for.
I think that's what the media's hiding from us.
I think they're keeping that secret from us.
See, that's the thing.
The people who are blaming Ukraine and NATO,
they know something that the mainstream media is not telling us,
and that is that Ukraine is into S&M.
Ukraine, some people like it.
Yeah.
Some people like it.
Zelensky is a deviant.
And Ukrainians, culturally, they're deviant.
Okay? They like to get a little vodka in them, as culturally, they're deviant. Okay?
They like to get a little vodka in them,
and they like to get bombed.
Some people like to get bombed.
They like to get their condos blown out.
It turns them on.
Ukrainians are turned on by this.
So that's the message that the mainstream media won't tell us.
And the reason they won't tell us that
is because they're prude.
They're fucking prude. It's the Protestant. It's the whole Protestant repressive thing, right? What do they
call that? The Protestant work ethic, the American thing that we have in us, the prudishness. We
don't like talking about sex. We don't like affairs. We don't like sex out of marriage.
So we don't talk about it in the media because Ukraine is kinky.
They're getting smacked by Russia and they like it.
It's making them hard.
Yeah, and they're safe where there's Crimea.
Zelensky wakes up every day with a heart on.
When those bombs go off, they go, yeah.
Yeah, there's nipple tassels under that sweatshirt. Yeah, I can't get hard unless you blow up my city.
Drone bomb Kiev. And listen, that's nipple tassels under that sweatshirt. Yeah, I can't get hard unless you blow up my city. Drone bomb Kiev.
And listen, that's what they're doing.
That's why we don't understand.
We can't understand this conflict between Ukraine and Russia
because they're enjoying it.
They're both enjoying it.
You've seen Russians in Brighton Beach.
Are they poets?
They're not poets.
They're always scary, tracksuit mafia guys.
They like violence.
They're enjoying this.
Why are we, you know, judging it?
And also the people, look, I understand people are upset.
We're spending tax dollars to send them stuff.
You're like, should we be doing that?
I get that. I get that.
I get that.
But if you love Russia and you don't want them to hurt Russia with those, don't worry.
Russia likes it.
So it's almost like, yeah.
It's like, you know, it's like Fifty Shades of Grey.
It's like saying to that chick, it's like showing that chick the whips.
She's going, yeah, thank you that the whips are there.
I want the whips.
I'm into it.
That's what these people like to do.
Look, they're not Greeks.
I mean, what do you want from me?
These are barbarian people.
They like to fight.
I judge everything through the filter of civilization and democracy
and Aristotle's brain because I'm a Greek.
I'm from antiquity. I'm from antiquity.
I'm from antiquity.
I'm the grandson of a slave.
I asked ChatGBT the other night.
I said, were Greeks slaves?
And ChatGBT just answered yes.
So here's the funny thing.
I was happy about it.
That's your street cred right there.
Yeah, I mean, it's like I got street cred.
How funny.
Dude, you have to admit that that does on some level.
Let's take all the knocking woke people.
Let's get it all out of there.
I'm telling you honestly.
I'm not you honestly.
I'm not even making a joke.
My honest reaction when I found out that ChatGBT said that I was a slave, my honest reaction was happy about it.
I was happy about it.
Nice, yeah.
I was going like, now I want to tell people about that.
I want to flaunt that.
It is a little funny that we kind of live in
Like, can you imagine
So now that Chappie T has confirmed
That I'm the descendant of slaves
Thank you so much
Thank you
Feels good, dog
Here's the thing
It feels great to not be a slave
But to know that you can tell people
That a little while ago You would have been a slave I think to know that you can tell people that a little while ago,
you would have been a slave.
I think that's the best spot to be.
That's a great spot to be.
When things are good.
Because you know things gotta be pretty good
to feel good about the fact
that you can tell people that you were a slave.
Right?
Because slavery sucks.
I don't think there's anything positive about it.
Could you think, if you were a lawyer for slavery,
if you were the public relations firm for slavery,
there's a bunch of very, very moralist public relations firms
who I want to know more about.
There's these PR firms.
Some of them represent countries like Saudi Arabia,
and they're very funny.
And we need to do an episode
on some of them because they're really funny.
When you see Saudi Arabia
tourist commercials, Saudi Arabia
the government has hired an American
PR firm and paid them money
and been like, how can we
yes, yes, on Wednesdays
we do public execution
but show them the beaches.
Let's, how do we,
yes, we have a bad reputation
that women can't drive
and show their head,
but the beach.
Show them the beach and falafel.
And then Americans are like,
they figure it out.
Fly on L.A., you know.
Come to Saudi Arabia.
Yeah.
And then you just see a person
walking on the beach
or in the sand dunes on buggies.
So PR is funny.
So if you're a PR firm for slavery,
sell me some positives.
Rhythm and blues.
That's the only one I need.
Very positive.
Is there any other type of music that makes you connected
with your emotions like rhythm and blues?
Very positive.
And also connects to you like rhythm and blues and makes you want and Blues. Very positive. And also connects to you like Rhythm and Blues
and makes you want to move.
Very positive.
Now, I'm not an advocate for chattel slavery,
but it gave me Brian McKnight.
I will say, also, I'll give a shout out to Oshkosh.
Oshkosh.
Why do I always call him Oshkosh Bagosh?
Oshkosh from Flagrant 2.
Great, yeah. He said a very funny thing.
He said slavery's bad, but it also did create the pyramids.
It was kind of worth it.
He had a joke.
I'm butchering it, but it was very funny
because that would be a positive.
Like, oh, look at the pyramids.
Slavery did that.
That's pretty good.
Now, for Greeks, I'll say this.
I'll be the lawyer for the Greek slavery from the Ottomans. I'll say it did make Greeks entertaining,
conspiratorial and entertaining.
That's good.
Yeah.
It did make us a little very lackadaisical with our time,
which is good and funny and entertaining.
You know, because when you've been a slave for 400 years,
and I joked about this in a Mr. Pano sketch, right?
But you don't like leave slavery and get right to fucking work.
You know what I'm saying?
Like you deserve a little bit of a vacay.
You were just forced to fucking work and do jobs you didn't want to do for hundreds of years.
You can fucking chill for a bit and sit in a cafe and smoke cigarettes
and crash the European economy.
Yeah.
A Greek.
You can do it.
Yeah.
A Greek created the McDonald's slogan.
Hey, listen, when everyone was pissed at fucking Greece for the Greek financial crisis and
putting the fucking euro in threat or whatever it was, I don't remember because I don't care
anymore because I'm American.
I don't care.
OK.
But when everyone was pissed at Grease,
Grease should have said, we fucking earned,
we, like, cut us some slack, dog.
We earned this.
We're chilling right now, you know?
Look, if Grease was a hotel room,
it says, do not disturb.
We're chilling.
Just let me sit here.
I'm sleeping in.
Drink my frappuccino and play with my Greek beads.
Yes, now we're putting in a chat GBT.
Chat GBT is part of our podcast now.
When did Turkey leave Greece?
I'll tell you right now without looking.
Let's see how good my history is.
1912.
Jared's got to go put some moisturizer in his hair.
Did I nail it?
God damn it.
I'm fucking not as good as I...
Turkey and Greece
are separate countries.
Jesse,
even ChatGBT
doesn't understand
what you're asking.
Say,
when did the Ottoman
occupy...
Wait,
could you just look at
how I spelled Greece?
You spelled Greece
G-R-E-A-C-E.
You spelled it
like some girl's name,
Grace.
When did Turkey leave Greece?
How about put in, I'm going to say 19...
20...
1919.
I'm going to read...
What did I say before?
1912?
I'm going to go 1919.
No, when did Turkish occupation...
Yeah, they were the Ottomans then,
but maybe this will work. When did
Turkish occupation end in Greece?
Oh, Jesus.
ChatGBT has no... Is this ChatGBT?
How long was Turkey in Greece for?
400 years. Different historical periods?
Oh, yeah, 400 years. Yeah, you got to spread that shit out.
400 years.
400 years. Now, look, I am that shit out. 400 years. 400 years.
Now, look, I am going to go to my chat, GBT,
and chat GBT is going to understand me right away
because I type in English.
Were Greeks slaves to Ottomans?
Let's see.
Hopefully it gives me the same answer.
Ottomans.
Funny, too, I asked, I said,
who is the creator of Morissa?
And it said, Morissa the creator of Morrisa?
And it said, Morrisa is a comedy character done by Andrew Schultz.
No.
Are you deadass?
Yeah, I'm deadass.
And then I was like, no, it's Giannis Pappas in the chat.
He was like, I'm sorry, I made a mistake.
It's weird.
AI like learns from itself.
And then I asked it again and now it knew.
Yes, the Greek territories were under Ottoman rule for several centuries. The Ottoman Empire expanded into the Balkans and Anatolia, including Greek lands.
When did they leave?
When did the Ottoman occupation of Greece end?
19...
The war resulting in the formation of the modern Greek state
and the Treaty of Constantinople in 1832.
The Greek War of Independence in 1821.
So I guess it's 1821.
When was your grandfather sent to Egypt, though?
Oh, boy, that's something.
Yeah, so something's off.
When did Ottomans leave Greece?
Are you on Google or chat GPT? I'm on chat GPT.
Chat GPT doesn't know. Just you on Google or chat GPT? I'm on chat GPT. Chat GPT doesn't know.
Just go on Google.
When did the occupation of Greece end for the Ottomans?
Why are you asking something that's been alive?
I'm asking Siri.
I shouldn't be asking a woman.
She doesn't know.
You're asking something that's been around for six months.
When the Turkish invasion.
Right.
Here we go.
Now New York Times.
How did we get sidetracked on this shit? Yeah, no. We're trying to talk about the invasion. Right. Here we go. Now New York Times. How did we get sidetracked
on this shit?
Yeah, no.
We're trying to talk
about the Ukraine.
That's like asking
your new daughter
about your mortgage.
Anyway, Rhythm and Blues
is good.
If you were representing
slavery, you'd be a PR rep.
That's the only thing I need.
Yeah.
Rhythm and Blues is good.
Yeah.
You'd have to suffer
400 years,
but you'd get
Rhythm and Blues out of it.
Well, for white people
it would probably be
like 1,200
because y'all got no rhythm.
But yeah. It could be 12,000 yeah black people were just born with rhythm we were born with rhythm we born with blues I mean the reason why the slave
trade has found us so fast because we were making music it's a problem yeah
they got it was like a siren song yeah yeah yeah that drum yeah the drum is
African the drum changed a lot mm a lot The drum really changed a lot
Yeah
Black music changed everything
Everything
African American music
Changed everything
And it's more African American
Right?
Yeah
Something happened there
Something magic happened there
And then the music just got good
Yeah
Got good
We were the mothership
And then you know
Went off to Haiti
Went off to Jamaica
But
We were the OG
You were the mothership.
What is Ukrainian music like?
Well, probably just bombs now.
Right.
Because that'll just be in the background of every song.
Yeah.
It's a lot of bass.
Anyway, there's this war going on right now in Ukraine and Russia.
It's all anyone could talk about.
The thing that happens with the media. Is they just pick one thing.
And then you don't hear about anything else anymore.
Nothing else.
In that way.
The media does kind of control our perceptions a lot.
Right?
Yeah.
I don't know who the media is anymore.
Because they really have done it to them.
They ripped themselves down.
By fucking up so much. And now nobody
trusts them or anything like that.
But really, I remember when
Darfur happened and all you heard about
was Darfur.
It's a great way. If you want to get away with something,
you want to do it during
a crisis that the media
is addicted to. The media gets addicted
to something. If you want to, like, slaughter political dissidents
or a political rival in your country,
and you're, like, let's say in the Congo or Madagascar
or Kyrgyzstan, one of the Kyrgyzstans,
do it during something that the American media is obsessed with.
When they're shorting GameStop.
Yeah, because you will not
When they're shorting
Because you will not know about it
Yeah
I mean you will just not know about it
Because all we hear about
Is Russia and Ukraine now
And
There was a Chinese
Pilot that
Flew in front of some
NATO pilot
Or American pilot
Or something like that
There's some warships
Kind of got close or they crashed.
It's getting tense.
Everyone needs to chill out.
Everyone needs to chill.
Everyone needs to throw on some Sade and chill.
Everyone needs to micro-dose mushrooms.
We need some micro-dosing of mushrooms going on right now.
So, yeah, the Chinese warship Sailing near China
Something happened
Things are getting tense
Things are getting tense
There was a Chinese incursion into Taiwan airspace
Something happened and then also
I don't know what happened but something happened
Some Chinese jet Flew right in front of...
It was crazy.
You could see the footage of it,
where it cuts right in front of some other jet.
How'd you know it was Chinese?
Because they were squatting down and eating out of a styrofoam case.
There it is right there.
Chinese J-16 jet intercepts U.S. spy plane over South Chinese Sea.
Oh, wow. Yeah, so
it, you know,
you think it was
road rage? You think it was like, fuck you, buddy!
Yeah.
You think he threw a slur? Yeah.
Because he videotaped it, and then you think he turned
off the camera and went, and then he said what he really
wanted to say?
So, things are tense things are tense things are tense right now but you know at the end of the day
you know the question is are we slut-shaming Ukraine? Are we blaming Ukraine for being hot?
Right?
They're a commodity.
Because Russia did attack.
Russia did attack.
But was Ukraine asking for it?
That's the question.
What do you think?
Was Ukraine asking for it?
Was Ukraine out alone?
Was Ukraine walking into a bad neighborhood was
Ukraine wearing something it shouldn't have been wearing that's my question hmm
you know how it is I feel like your mom and parents you always tell you yeah
don't go out late be careful we be aware of your surroundings be home before the
streetlight come back you don't want you don't want to be on the border with
Russia you know I mean Find a new place.
You don't want to be right there.
You know that's a dangerous spot.
You know what I think it is?
I think Ukraine and Russia used to date,
and Russia said,
listen, you can do whatever you want,
just don't talk to any of my friends.
Right.
And then Russia found out that Ukraine was DMing Crimea and NATO,
and he was like, all right, fuck it.
So Russia's a jealous boyfriend.
Yeah. This happens all the time.
This happens all the time, unfortunately. That's why was like, alright, fuck it. So Russia's a jealous boyfriend. This happens all the time. This happens all the time, unfortunately.
That's why, listen, countries,
you have to
get a restraining order on other countries.
You can't stay in these abusive relationships.
Get a restraining order.
Get out. Tell friends.
The cycle of trauma, it's bad.
You're trauma bonding.
This is trauma bonding. You're dating a covert narcissist
Or a malignant narcissist
I think Ukraine has a lot to learn
I think they can grow from this
They can grow from this
I think this will ultimately be good
Yeah
For Ukraine
They're going to end up dating Switzerland next
Look, when I look back at my personal growth
I had to go through a lot of bad things
I kind of look like Russia's invasion of Ukraine,
their bombing of cities and killing of people.
It's necessary growth.
Ukraine's got to look itself in the mirror and go,
why did this happen?
Why?
I'm going to get the positive out of this.
I'm going to be a better person.
I'm going to be a better country when this is done.
Yeah.
No?
So I understand.
So we don't exactly know why Russia invaded the Ukraine.
Okay?
There's theories.
All we have is theories.
Floating out there, yeah.
Now listen.
I already asked the all, I already asked the Wizard of Oz. Now if someone had a sense of humor, they would have called ChatGB asked the Wizard of Oz.
Now if someone had a sense of humor, they would have called ChatGBT the Wizard of Oz.
Because you remember the Wizard of Oz was like behind the curtain, could answer all fucking things or whatever.
And it just turned out to be some white dude.
Yeah, that would have been funny if it was, or listen, Ask Jeeves is funnier than ChatGBT.
ChatGBT is not a great name.
Anyway, so I asked already, and I love how also politically correct ChatGBT is not a great name. Anyway, so I asked already, and I love how also politically correct ChatGBT is.
Because I asked, I said, why do Kenyans win marathons?
Because I wanted to see what ChatGBT would say.
And they were like, they went all in.
They went, it's important not to say that a certain group,
that individuals and culture, there's a complex
history of culture.
Okay, you got the wrong version of chat
GPT, though. What do you got?
There's different chat GPTs for different races.
I got the black one. Oh. Yeah.
I asked my chat GPT if OJ murdered his
wife, and they said, that's what they want you to believe.
That would be funny if
there was chat GPTs based
on culture. That would be very if there was chat GBTs based on culture.
That would be very funny.
And it answered the way you want?
Yeah.
Come on, man.
Okay.
Why did Russia invade Ukraine?
Okay.
And if you put this in black chat GBT, you'd be like, how come them white boys up there to North
are killing them other white boys?
Okay, but the white chat GBT answers,
the situation regarding Russia's actions in Ukraine
is complex and multifaceted.
No, it's not.
I listened to a college drop's podcast the other day,
and he said clearly this is because NATO wants to expand.
That's the deal here.
It's NATO's fault.
It's NATO's fucking fault for wearing that goddamn dress
and being out at 2 in the morning.
It's NATO's fault.
It's NATO's fault for antagonizing and yeah now putin also did invade
georgia in 2014 but who the fuck cares about georgia dog georgia's not as sexy as ukraine
you know right it's kind of like unfortunately i hate to say this but ukraine is kind of like Natalie Holloway Natalie Holloway
Like that Patrice O'Neil bit
And Georgia is just some
Big headed third world bitch
Nobody cares about
So
I'm just trying to
Give analogies for people to help
Understand the Ukraine-Russian crisis
You're right, it's not even the most famous Georgia
out there. Right.
It's just, we live in a funny world
now.
It's a funny world because everyone
has strong,
assertive, certain
opinions on very complex
issues. They have no
background about. No background.
No experience.
A lot of these people haven't even fucking left Manhattan.
And you're going to give me your opinion on Israel and Palestine?
You know?
It's just very funny.
But it's because we have this mechanism now
where everyone can throw their fucking opinion out.
So they do it.
And there's a lot of people who are also dumb who receive the opinion. And sometimes it's
easier for those people to, there's a lot of those people, and they connect with people
as stupid as them more than they do with someone who's smart. So I get why that happens. It's
almost like a paradox. Like you want experts and stuff and smart people and people who have experience and understand
nuance and the complexities and multifaceted like chat GBT. You want to know all this stuff and how
maybe there's not right and wrong answers here. And it's a tough call. If you do this, then bad
and this trade offs. But if you don't get in, it could be bad for this reason. Economic reasons.
I mean, the list goes on and on and on.
You want that.
But who's going to understand those people when they talk?
Right?
Nobody.
But if you listen to fucking Glenn Beck, he gives it to you with a chalkboard.
He throws up a chalkboard.
He goes, okay, here's Russia over here.
And he draws like a bottle of vodka.
And he goes, okay, here's Ukraine over here. Bottle of vodka, but of vodka. And he goes, okay, here's Ukraine over here.
Bottle of vodka, but with a sombrero on
because they're the same but different.
So it's like someone like that can make it easier for you.
And I get that.
And that's why you're listening to me right now.
And I'm going to explain it to you.
I'm going to explain it to you
because I know why Russia-Ukraine happened.
I'm going to explain it to you.
You're the Dr. Seuss of geopolitical warfare.
I'm going to solve it.
I'm going to solve it right now. And I'm going to explain it to you. You're the Dr. Seuss of geopolitical warfare. I'm going to solve it. I'm going to solve it right now.
And I'm going to solve it by just saying stop.
Putin, stop.
Stop what you're doing.
And Zelensky, stop it.
Okay?
Guys, knock it off.
And buy a suit.
Let's solve this the way we should solve all problems from here on in.
Okay?
With a Dana White approved Sponsored slap fight
Between Zelensky and Putin
How funny is it
That nobody wants to see that shit
But Dana White just keeps posting it
He does not care
I have never seen bigger
Cognitive dissonance in my entire life
Like all the comments
To slap, what's it called? Slap fest
Or slap shot Have you seen this? Slap fest or slap shock?
Slap box or something like that.
Have you seen this?
It's not a sport, dude.
It's a guy stands helplessly
with his hands behind his back
while another guy smacks him in the face,
and the whole point is to see
if the guy passes out.
That's not special, dude.
Dude, it's the,
and everyone hates it,
and nobody's watching it,
and he just keeps pumping it.
Yeah, because he's the owner of it.
Look, he owns it.
Yeah, of course.
That's what I'm saying.
But he can't admit that it's stupid.
It's called power slap.
It is stupid.
If I wanted to see that, I'd just watch my parents after dinner.
Here's the funny thing.
It's not slap fighting, right?
Slap fighting would be like boxing with slaps.
Organized slap fighting.
It is hostage hitting. Yeah. It is hostage hitting.
Yeah.
It is hostage hitting.
It's measured CTE.
It is hostage hitting, dog.
You're like, okay, this guy's a hostage,
and his hands are tied behind his back.
You can basically go, tell me where the secrets are.
And the guy goes, I don't know.
And then this guy just winds up and fucking hits this helpless guy.
Yeah, and over time, they waterboard each other.
It's a good tweet.
It's not slap fighting.
It's hostage hitting.
All right.
So, I just was trying to remember a tweet I thought of before.
Oh, yeah.
Well, what I wanted to say.
I was going to put it in a Sean Terry video,
but I was going to say, Sean Terry would say,
fucking going back, a lot of the people that they said died of COVID,
they didn't fucking die of COVID.
All right?
You know why he fucking died?
They died from fucking heartbreak
because Biden had the election stolen from him.
They didn't account for that.
People went into fucking cardiac arrest
once they found out
that they actually stole the fucking election
from Donald Trump.
It was fucking traumatic
So people died from fucking trauma
I know that's how my 15 fucking granduncles died
I'll fucking throw that on a video on the gram anyway
Because I fight fire
I fight fire with fire
And I'm fucking, I get it
I root for the fucking Jets
and I drink cold fucking beer.
And so a lot of those COVID
deaths were marked as COVID but really
died of heartbreak because Donnie T lost the election.
You can't tell me this isn't a
fucking top notch podcast.
You can't tell me this is not top notch
comedy podcast here.
We're a top notch comedy podcast. we're top-notch comedy podcast
entertainment okay but low-notch word pronunciation that for sure yeah okay so
according to chat gbt the reasons for russia's actions in ukraine are subject to debate and
speculation i don't think so i think it been solved. Some key factors that are often discussed include,
okay, number one, geopolitical interests.
Crimea holds strategic importance for Russia due to its access to the Black Sea and its historic,
I think that's racist, and its historical ties to Russia.
Yeah, it should be changed to Colored Sea.
It should be Person of Color Sea.
Sea of Color.
P-O-C.
P-O-C.
You don't even have to do it. P-O-C, but just spell it of color, C. C of color. P-O-C. C. P-O-C.
P-O-C.
You don't even have to do it.
P-O-C, but just spell it instead of a C.
Put S-E-A.
Yeah.
P-O-C.
Russia has long considered Crimea as a significant part of its sphere of influence.
So that's one thing.
Geopolitical interests.
Crimea holds strategic importance for Russia due to its access to the Black Sea. So maybe that's it.
Another one.
Ethnic and cultural ties.
There are historical and cultural connections
between Russia and parts of eastern Ukraine
where there's a significant Russian-speaking population.
Russia has expressed concerns
about the rights and welfare of ethnic Russians in Ukraine.
Probably some legitimacy to that.
I don't know.
There's probably a population there.
I guess that's the same problem in Kosovo, right?
Yeah.
They move populations around.
It's the same thing that happened in Cyprus with the Turks and the Greeks, right?
They move.
They try to ethnically cleanse.
They move them over here.
They take over here.
They say, you go over there, right?
Wasn't there just riots in Kosovo again?
Right?
Serbian protests.
I believe so.
The Albanian, whatever's going on.
There's certain,
sometimes there's a large group
of people from a neighboring country
that live across the border in another place
and they feel like whatever.
They want,
they're getting discriminated against.
Right?
So,
the best part about
when Jesse Google some is we're never gonna get to the thing why are there
riots in Kosovo but that should get it okay another another possibility is
political instability and change of government Russia has been critical the
political changes in Ukraine particularly the 2014 Ukrainian
revolution that led to the ousting of the pro-r Ukraine, particularly the 2014 Ukrainian revolution
that led to the ousting of the pro-Russian president,
Viktor Yanukovych.
Russia viewed these changes as a threat to its interests
and influence in the region.
That happened.
Did we have some influence in that?
Did we try to sway the election?
Were we meddling?
Yes, probably. But don't be a fucking sore loser putin you know how this
shit works that's the fucking game baby right you tried to get donald t elected you how you
definitely wanted that over hillary because hillary goes we came we saw we killed that
bitch wanted to kill everything yeah the fucking she's a fucking, she's the angel of death.
And you wanted the fucking reality show guy with orange hair who likes to fight with everybody.
I would too.
If I was Putin, I'd want that guy too.
But you could easily appeal to his ego by just going, he's a smart guy.
And then Trump goes, all you have to do to get Trump to like you is say, I think Trump is a smart guy.
And then Trump goes, you know what? I to get Trump to like you is say, I think Trump is a smart guy. And then Trump goes, you know what?
I like that guy.
He said good things about me.
So I get, of course, if you're Putin, you're going to, Putin is a fucking slimy, sticky, fucking KGB guy.
Yeah.
He loves subterfuge.
He loves fucking playing dirty.
So stop being a crybaby bitch.
Okay.
You lost fair and square. And by fair bitch. Okay? You lost fair and square.
And by fair and square,
I mean not fair and square.
Because we got in there.
We fucking did some propaganda.
We did whatever we needed to do.
We supported the documentary folks.
The pro-documentary folks.
I meant to say pro-democracy folks.
But also people who enjoy documentaries.
Yeah, we supported Vice.
We supported,
we definitely supported NPR and PBS.
And
the pro-Russian guy got ousted.
The little puppet that Putin liked on the border
got ousted. The people had a revolution.
Why? They want Coca-Cola.
They want freedom.
They want khakis. They want untucked
shirts. Who doesn't want an untucked shirt?
Oh yeah. It's amazing technology. Who doesn't want an untucked shirt? Oh yeah It's amazing technology
Who doesn't want Tommy John's fucking underwear?
Never rides up
And it makes your balls breathe
Guess what?
Not available in a pro-Putin sphere
But once you get a little American influence
Guess what?
Hop on Amazon
You can buy a pair of underwear for $40
And feel very comfortable
Very, very comfortable
They wanted buffalo wings.
They want cheese fries.
They want Chick-fil-A.
They want it.
So the people rebelled.
They kicked the guy out.
And they elected a Jewish comedian from a television show,
which is a very, very West modern thing to do, right?
We've elected a few television personalities.
Ronald Reagan, Arnold Schwarzer've elected a few television personalities.
Ronald Reagan, Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Slow it down.
There you go.
Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Negro. Negro.
Arnold Schwarzenegger.
There you go.
And a couple other ones.
Al Franken.
Remember we made that fucking guy
From SNL as senator
Oh yeah
And then he got ousted
Because he took a picture
Making a joke holding tits
Don't act like you're moral
If there's a picture of you
Grabbing a titty on an airplane
So I'm on a USO tour
So then they elected that guy
So don't act like a sore loser
You know the game Putin
Okay
You meddled in our election We meddled in in yours. That's what we do, baby.
I would expect that he would understand. But anyway, he did probably get pissed
at that, right? So that's probably a big reason. He's not
happy about that. He liked when Ukraine had a little puppet in there. He loves the former
Soviet Union. He's from the former Soviet Union. He has
said and alluded to the fact that he
would like to... He said it was what?
The biggest historical
catastrophe. I think he's quoted as saying it's a
historical catastrophe that the
USSR broke up.
Something like that.
His motives...
It's almost like...
You know when you're in a relationship
with a girl?
Or a boy in your case?
Yeah.
A guy.
Yeah, he called it a Soviet collapse.
He called it a genuine tragedy in his annual State of the Nation address to his nation address on Monday.
This was a while ago.
And he said it many times.
He's alluded to the fact that he would love it if it got back together.
He would love it.
Of course, who wouldn't?
What dictator wouldn't?
Nobody becomes a dictator
to sit around and drink coffee
with the people in cafes.
You're power hungry, you want more.
He said, first and foremost,
it's worth acknowledging
that the demise of the Soviet Union
was the greatest geopolitical catastrophe of the century.
That's what he said.
So he went a little harder than just saying it was a genuine mistake.
That's a pretty strong word.
So you know when you're in a relationship with a girl, right?
Or as in your case, Jesse's got a girl, but you got a guy, as I said.
I want to make this inclusive
It is
It is fucking pride month
Thank you
By the way
Can we
When can you just be gay
In silence
Like do we still need
The fucking pride flags
I mean what country
Is that fucking flag
You can be gay in silence
You just got to pay
In the NFL
But at this point
Like you know
At this point it's like
You have
Just be gay now Is there a cut off point Where's like, just be gay now.
Is there a cutoff point where you just go, just be gay?
Or like, have one day?
I think you're getting confused with gays.
Is this a month?
Is this fucking thing a month?
It's a whole month.
It's a whole fucking month, dude.
There's a difference between gays and flamboyancy.
I think this month is being celebrated with flamboyancy.
Yeah, flamboyancy.
That's a good question.
That's actually a great point.
Because I don't know what lime green Speedos have to do with being gay.
Wait a second.
That is a hilarious point
because that's a great point.
It would be one thing
if the parade was just
like a bunch of gay couples
in like cardigan sweaters
just waving at kids.
A whole bunch of
Neil Patrick Harris's.
Yeah, just a whole bunch
of guys like that, you know?
Or Tim Dillon going there like,
I can't believe I'm gay either.
Right.
That would be one thing.
But instead,
it's just guys half naked on floats.
Twerking.
Yeah.
Reading stories to children.
I don't know.
All right.
So here's my analogy.
You know when you're with a girl and you're obsessed with the girl,
you're in love with the girl,
and your friends say she's no good or whatever,
and she has told you.
She's like, I don't know.
I want to be free right now.
I just, I'm not, I don't know.
But I love being with you.
But I also am enjoying, like, I want to travel and things like that.
And you're going like, I think I'm going to marry her.
And your friends are like, you're not listening to what she's saying.
Like, she told you.
You know how many times that's happened to me?
Where I look back and I go, I'm like, fuck.
I'm trying to make this relationship work because I'm so obsessed with the girl.
But she has told me.
The point is, if you listen to people, they will tell you who they are.
Business partners as well.
Everyone will tell you who they are.
If you just listen.
You don't, because what we like to do is we like to put our idealized version or what we want the person to be on the person.
People want Putin.
Right now, especially on the right,
they want Putin to be a wife.
They want him to be a wife.
But he's telling you right here,
I am a whore who wants to go study art history in Italy
and fuck Italian guys.
I want to invade Ukraine. I want to invade Ukraine.
I want to invade Georgia.
I want to invade Kajakistan, Dijakistan,
Pajakistan, and Kajakistan.
I want all the fucking stands.
I'm telling you that.
So what you're saying is the people who want Putin to change
should just accept him for who he is
and then move down to Miami.
I'm saying people got to stop being obsessed with this hot bit.
He's a hot fucking guy.
He's a hot.
He's a hot toddy.
Yeah.
He's a hot toddy.
And I get he's sexy, but he's telling you who he is right there.
He said it.
He's saying it.
But we want to blame.
We want to blame.
There's something we could done.
We're going.
It's NATO's fault.
Something we could have done.
We did something wrong.
We did.
It's our fault.
No, no, no, no.
He is a malignant narcissist. It's his fault, girl It's something we could have done We did something wrong We did something It's our fault No no no no He is a malignant narcissist It's his fault girl
Go get a book
Go get a fucking
Glass of wine
Go with your girls
Go to wine country
Drink
And get under another man
And get fucked
And get over him
He's no good
Couple orange theory classes
And you'll be good
You'll be good
He's a bad boy
You can't change a bad boy
You can't change a bad boy
He's a bad boy He likes to get change a bad boy. You can't change a bad boy. He's a bad boy.
He likes to get on a horse and ride without a shirt on.
Yeah.
You said it best.
He's a bad fucking boy.
You can't change bad boys.
You just got to let him wear that leather coat, you know, and drive in that Maserati over 80 miles per hour and let him be bad.
There are certain members of NATO countries blaming themselves.
Going, what could we. It's our fault.
This could have been different.
It's our fault.
It doesn't matter how much meatballs you make him. He's not
going to come back to you. It's not going to happen.
Poland. America.
Especially America.
A lot of people in America are going like,
this is our fault. We did this.
We did this. We did this.
Because Putin is fucking hot and sexy.
It's hot.
America's hot, too.
So we're kind of like mad at it.
We're like, we're the hottest girl on the block.
Yeah.
Why aren't you not listening to us?
Why?
We belong together.
We belong together.
Why?
Just be with me.
Like, I don't get it.
Even Trump said, even Trump goes, he's smart.
He was like raving about it. He's like, this guy's good because he's hot.
Yeah, America's like, yo, we would have great kids.
He's hot.
Like, yeah, like we just can't get it.
So that's another reason.
A third reason is political instability and change of government.
Russia's been critical of the political change in Ukraine, particularly the 2004 is what I just read.
Now, fourth, sorry about that.
Geopolitical competition and regional dynamics.
The situation in Ukraine is also seen
as part of the broader geopolitical competition
between Russia and Western powers,
particularly the United States and NATO.
It is viewed as a struggle for influence in the region.
It's important to note that different perspectives exist
regarding the motivations behind Russia's actions in Ukraine. So this
is where ChatGBT is very thorough.
So that's the fourth one. That's the one
where I think a lot of people do
the blames. United States and NATO?
So they're saying this is the United States and
NATO. So Russia's kind of like
this is a proxy war again
and Ukraine
is like Afghanistan, right? Because for a while
Russia was in Afghanistan
We were in Afghanistan
We were kind of fighting over Afghanistan
We funded the Mujahideen
Which is funny
Because we were funding
What's his name?
Bin Laden
Bin Laden
We funded that guy
Because he was fighting the Russians
And he took our funds
Because we were fighting the Russians
And he was like a CIA asset
For a while
And then all of a sudden he blew up.
It's interesting.
And then those videos are a little weird.
He does look different.
I don't want to get into all that.
I don't want to get into wag the dog shit
because I don't know what's going on.
All I'm saying is there's truth to all of these, right?
There's truth to all of these,
except they all missed the mark
because this is really about
something deeper. This is about trauma bonding. This is about trauma bonding, and if everyone
could just take ayahuasca and microdusk, I think we can see through this and understand that we're
all one, we're all connected, we're all part of the universe, we all have something to do with
each other. You know, it's kind of an unsettling feeling
When some fucking hippie tells me that
Because that means me and Ted Bundy
Are the same
So nobody ever says that shit
It's like when you go to a fucking
It's like when you go to a medium
Or you go to a guy who reads the future
And they only tell you good things
It's like nobody ever tells you the bad things
Right?
Nobody tells you you're going to lose 500 bucks
On the Miami Heat series. They don't
tell you that. They just tell you your father
says hello and you're going to
be happy, right? It's the
same shit. Nobody tells you the bad news.
I don't know.
This is trauma bonding.
This is trauma bonding. So that's what I recommend.
Doesn't that ever annoy you when
you're going, hey man, I took mushrooms
and I found out we're all from Stardust
and we're all from the same thing
and then I go, wait a second, so I'm Hitler?
So I'm
you know? I'm not trusting no hippie
like that. I'm Aaron Carter?
Don't tell me about myself when you don't even know about deodorant.
I would rather we were all separate so I
know I have nothing to do with Aaron Carter.
I would rather that. Rest in peace. Is he the nothing to do with Aaron Carter. I would rather that.
Rest in peace.
Is he the one that died?
Yes.
Rest in peace.
I'm sorry.
Okay, I'll say Nick Carter.
It'd be better.
I don't want anything to do with Nick Carter.
There you go.
I don't want anything to do with Nick Carter.
I'm sorry. I don't mind the Jonas Brothers, even though you say you're going to send me a song that's
going to blow my heads off, and you still haven't.
Oh, I thought I did.
Yeah.
Why are you...
We live in a...
It's just...
I love that we live in a time that you listen to Nick Jonas.
I grew up on the Jonas Brothers a little bit.
Disney Channel, dog.
Why were you watching the Disney Channel?
Because I was like 10 years old.
What else am I going to watch?
You want to watch Animal Planet?
Although my dad didn't make me watch educational television for like 30 minutes every week.
So, you know, I was watching like Nickelodeon and, you know, Good Burger that I had to watch Bear Grylls piss into a cup and drink it.
He was like, yeah, he's learning a lot.
I'm like, yeah, I've learned to fucking talk.
I've learned how to survive in the apocalypse, Dad.
I don't know if this is real.
We live in Long Island.
I think we'll be fine.
I don't think, you know, tying a rope is going to help me in Massapequa.
Yeah, I think we'll be fine, Dad.
Yeah.
I love the fact that you were raised well.
I like that.
I really do like that.
Yeah.
That's a good thing.
Yeah.
But.
Are you just courting me
So I can date your daughters one day?
Uh huh
That
You know what?
That would be
That's too much
25 years is too much
But a nice gentleman
Like you would be
If I could find a nice gentleman
Like a nice gentleman
To date a daughter like you
That would be nice
Yeah
Doesn't drink
Doesn't smoke
Doesn't party too hard
Uh Like Can bond with chicks Yeah You know A little gay That would be nice. Yeah. Doesn't drink, doesn't smoke, doesn't party too hard.
It's like, can bond with chicks.
Yeah.
You know?
A little gay.
That's what you want.
Just a little bit.
The too masculine, you don't want that.
You want a little, you want a guy who listens.
Gay is like nutmeg.
Just want a touch of it.
You want a little, you want a, yeah.
It's like, they're like, gay is like sun-dried tomatoes.
A few is good.
You ever notice how overbearing sun-dried tomatoes can get?
Yeah. If you have too many.
You just want a little tinge.
They dry out your mouth.
A little tinge.
A little pinch.
So I don't know.
A little ayahuasca could do everybody good in this situation.
You know?
So at the end of the day, those are the potential causes for this tragedy.
No, but you did say one thing.
You did say that Russia didn't like the government over in ukraine that was the reason why they
well here's the deal they took cremate there was this is the second time they invaded
um ukraine yeah the first time they invaded another part cremate and they took it and we
didn't do nothing right so like we're like right. So they took it and they claimed there's a bunch of Russian separatists there.
And we just, we took it, right?
It's something, if you look through history, that happens a lot, right?
A dictator will go, oh, there's on the border there, we have a population of people over there and they're oppressed.
So we're going to take it over.
So they encroach a little bit more, right?
And it just so happens Crimea is strategically across from the sea.
They never take a piece of shit land, right?
They never go, you're never going to hear Canada invade Troy, New York.
Yeah.
And go, hey, you know, there's a lot of Canadians living down there and we just need Troy.
It's always a place that like has some value where they claim, ah, there's some separatists there.
You know, it's just always convenient that they care about the separatists in those areas that have great strategic value.
Yeah, you're never going to get a ransom letter for Dearborn, Michigan.
Right.
They're never going to say, we need Binghamton.
It's never going to happen, right?
Yeah.
So first in 2014, they attacked Georgia, and they took a piece of Georgia.
A little piece.
They took a little piece of Georgia claiming the same thing. Eh, blah, blah, blah. And they took Georgia piece of Georgia A little piece They took a little piece of Georgia Claiming the same thing
And blah blah blah
And they took Georgia
The international community
Condemned them
The warden last
They kind of made a deal
And they took
NATO kind of
And everybody in the world
Was just like
You can take that little piece
And whatever
And then that was done
With Georgia
They took a little piece of Georgia
Right
And then
They attacked
Again
They attacked Ukraine
Took Crimea
And then that And then So then they had, again, they attacked Ukraine, took Crimea, and then that.
And then, so then they had a pro-Russian president there, who was very friendly with Putin and stuff like that.
And there was a revolution, which I'm sure we had a hand in.
I'm not going to say we didn't.
Yeah.
You know, but I love how people get angry at that.
It's like, what are we supposed to do, fight clean?
I guess we should.
No, it's war, dog.
It's war, dog.
All is fair.
All is fair in love and war.
All is fair in love and war.
But it hurts a little bit more in love, but it's more fair in war.
Yeah.
But I mean, look, I don't know if you can prove it or you can, I don't know.
I'd have to ask people from over there and go like, why did you guys revolt?
Why did the people get the streets and oust this guy?
Was it because of pamphlets we helicoptered over you?
Did you watch RuPaul's Drag Race and just say, we need that?
What was it?
Was it the E! Channel?
What was it?
Did you watch The Sopranos?
What got you into it?
You know, it's something.
But they decided they wanted democracy.
They decided they wanted to get rid of this guy.
They ousted him.
They put in Zelensky, right?
They elected Zelensky, or we put him in.
Who knows?
Depends on how cynical you are.
Because who is Zelensky?
He was a comedian, and then all of a sudden he's prime minister.
Maybe we had a hand in that.
We did put him in, yeah.
I mean, it seems like we do with the amount of money we're giving him.
I don't know.
Maybe we did.
But is that wrong?
I don't know.
It's a dirty game out there.
And if you don't think it's a dirty game, then you're a fucking moron. Because the bigger picture is we got competing
worldviews. We have competing economic systems. We got competing political philosophies. We got
competing ideas about freedom and law and rule of law and justice. We just do, right? If Obama just, if journalists just started falling out of windows
outside of Obama, Obama would be in trouble, right?
You know, you'd have to,
only person who could get away with that is Hillary Clinton.
And that's because, I don't know.
I don't know.
Maybe it's the same over here.
Maybe people do get away with murder.
I don't know.
I did not see the basement of
that pizza place myself i can't claim there weren't i can only be told what the washington
post told me and maybe they're lying maybe there was maybe there was a bunch of fucking child
slaves in there okay i don't know right but i do know right my my brother my brother a low, he's not in government anymore,
but he's in government.
So it's funny when you know someone in there
and then you hear people talk outside.
Because the guy who owned the pizza place is a Greek guy
and he doesn't have child slaves in the basement, right?
He's just a dude who, this thing started online,
the Comet Pizza.
If he was Greek, he wouldn't be using them as slaves.
No, he'd be using them as eunuchs.
Yeah.
Right.
Well, actually, listen.
If you're going to suspect, if you're going to think that there's child sex slaves under a pizza place,
you're going to want to go with the Greek owner.
You're going to want to check the Greek owner.
Or someone affiliated with the Catholic Church.
Yeah, one of the two.
Or Italian.
You're going to go Greek-Italian.
Yeah.
Yeah, I mean, by the way, it's really, look, I've said on record, not to digress here,
but I've said on record, I think drag shows are nightclub acts, right?
True.
I don't even want stand-up comedians around my kids.
So I don't understand why drag queens are doing drag shows for children.
Because I would rather, to be honest with you,
I would rather a drag queen reads Little Red Riding Hood to my daughter
in assless chaps than Louis J. Gomez goes and performs at the school.
So I would rather an assless chaps drag queen perform
than Aaron Berg do 10 minutes at my child's school.
I totally agree with you.
So I don't, the drag queen thing is bad,
but it's not horrific.
It's not the worst thing.
You know what, you want to know what is horrific?
Priests raping millions of children.
But for some reason, nobody's upset about that.
You go to Florida, they're not banned.
Catholic churches aren't banned. Nobody's upset. Somehow, they
kind of squeak away. And it's really funny how that works. It lets you know
that something about public relations and advertising
and bullshit, people love. Because the truth is, okay,
people are grooming. Are they? Maybe a little. Maybe bullshit people love because the truth is okay there's a yeah people like they're grooming it's
like are they maybe a little maybe it's bad maybe it's inappropriate yes but are is there any hard
evidence of a drag queen raping a kid because i can tell you where there is hard evidence of
people raping children not reading barney to them which i like like, I'll extend an olive branch.
I don't think it's appropriate, right?
I don't think it, I wouldn't even say appropriate.
Why?
What's going on here?
It's a weird mix.
It's a weird mix.
At most it's a weird mix, but there is proof of an absolute epidemic of priests raping children.
Yeah.
Sexually raping, like physically raping them.
It's confirmed.
It's right in front of your face.
The evidence is hard evidence.
It's not disputable.
And it's by the hundreds of thousands.
And so from the beginning of time,
it's probably millions.
Around the world, it's probably millions.
Because let's be honest,
what watchdog organization is watching
what's going on in Guatemala?
Catholic Church is having a fucking field day there.
Right?
So, anyway, that's a side note.
Because that's always interesting to me.
When you hit someone with that hard facts, they just like, you know, they don't.
They're just like, yeah, but the drag queen.
You're like, yeah, okay.
I'll say.
I'll say it's also weird.
At least that's the worst it's going to get.
Yeah.
When they clap their cheeks together to Celine Dion, that's the worst it's going to get. Yeah. When they clap their cheeks together to Celine Dion, that's the worst it's going to get.
So far.
Right?
Yeah.
But it's not happening in an epidemic scale where, you know,
where Cinnamon, Cinnamon in Heels,
who was Steve during the day,
has a torture chamber where kids are getting raped.
We haven't found that out yet.
But we do know guys with collars who have fucking
freckled faces and pale
skin and black cloaks
are doing a lot of damage to children.
Yeah, what's worse, RuPaul or Father
McGorry's quiet time? I think Father McGorry's quiet
time is bad right now.
It's interesting to me. It's interesting
that certain things that are sold in certain ways
and become
cause celebs. It's very interesting. And then, you know, people just get married to these things that are sold in certain ways and become cause celebs it's very interesting
and then you know
people just get married
to these things
and this side
well the priest don't
but
yeah right
priest don't get married
but you notice
they get married
to like a side
and a perspective
and everyone's claiming
to know things now
it's the easiest
for them to digest
is this the most arrogant
time in the history
of man
where the most people
are claiming to know and women and they and women and they I think it's the most arrogant time in the history of man? The most people are claiming to know.
And women and they.
I think it's a very arrogant time.
People are going like, call me this.
People are like fucking,
everyone's issuing edicts
and like
dissertations and papers
going this is what it is.
They're just going, this is what it is!
It's amazing.
So we're going to end this episode
by talking about RFK.
And you know which RFK I'm talking about.
I would talk like that too
if my whole family died in the snap of a finger.
Yeah, with RFK,
who will die in some sort of tragedy,
as per the Kennedy curse.
It's going to happen.
It's going to happen.
It's the final destination in politics, really. For Kennedys, they just die in some sort of tragedy. As per the Kennedy curse. It's going to happen. It's going to happen. It's the final destination in politics, really.
For Kennedys, they just die in tragedies.
Something bad's going to happen.
He'll either die in a tragedy or he'll kill a woman with a car.
Didn't Ted Kennedy kill a woman in a car?
They all die tragically.
There's a parlay on FanDuel for it.
Yeah.
Hillary Clinton does have a weird connection to a lot of people dying around her, though. It's very Putin- on FanDuel for it. Yeah. Hillary Clinton does have a weird,
there's a weird connection to a lot of people dying around her, though.
It is very Putin-esque in a way.
Yeah.
Anyway.
So this is, RFK, he became an internet hero.
He was the new Andrew Yang, but for libertarians.
Everything's become very college freshman, liberal arts.
That's what I've noticed.
Everything's, because when you go to college
and you're a freshman, you go to like a,
oh, I know, I was there three weeks ago.
Everyone's like, you know, yeah, you was learning along.
Everyone's like fucking certain.
Everyone's certain about shit.
Everyone's fucking certain, conspiratorial, big ideas.
You feel cool. You feel like you know everything
Certainty and conspiracy are big
I think in a freshman dorm room
That's also when you get introduced to Ayn Rand
For the first time
And you're like fucking reason
Fucking pure
Fucking heroes
Fucking
You know you get introduced to communism
For the first time
You're like the fucking system You heard about time. You're like, the fucking system.
You heard about Vietnam and you're like, we're fucking evil.
And you're doing all this with a Batman poster on your wall.
Yeah, you're like, we're evil.
And then you're like, all right, yeah, it was bad.
But also communism is also bad.
It's a lot of bad.
Yeah, Henry Kissinger's bad.
This was bad, bad, bad.
The military industrial complex is bad.
But it was also good in World War II.
It was good that we were good at making weapons. It was good.
So the adult world is full of trade-offs,
as the great Thomas Sowell said.
But now everyone's certain in issuing edicts. So here comes
RFK onto the scene, and he becomes a fucking internet hero quick.
He came quick. Now the problem is
the problem
is
people elevate. Like, elevation
happens, right? It's like this
cult-like elevation.
Where they turn a guy into, like, David Koresh.
You know, they're like, this is Jesus.
And he said something
negative about Ukraine.
He said something negative about the vaccine.
And so now you're locked into that, okay?
Now you're locked in.
Don't you dare.
That's when you need an advisor.
That's when RFK needed an advisor to go, hey, listen.
Now you're not a full person anymore.
You represent, you're not a full person anymore. You represent,
you're a figure that represents
what these people believe.
You're not a full person anymore.
You're a symbol.
You're an anti-vax symbol.
You're an anti-money to Ukraine symbol.
Stick to that.
Don't you dare get out of that box
because don't think for one second
anyone who's not on the
internet even knows you're running for president.
This is an internet
thing. It's on Twitter.
It's on podcasts.
We're talking Dave Rubin. We're talking Jordan Peterson.
We're talking fucking the Dark Knights,
the Dark Horses. You're talking podcasts, baby.
This is Super Bowl commercial. You're in the podcast, baby.
You are fucking in the bowels of communication.
You're in it.
You're fucking in it.
All right?
Don't you dare say anything nuanced on Ukraine.
So he gives the speech.
He does not have that advisor who warns him
not to say anything nuanced about Ukraine.
He seems to lack awareness about who his fan base is.
And he, like other examples in the past,
says something that doesn't toe the line
of the fucking hardliners who support him,
which is really the only support he has, the hardliners.
Because everybody else just doesn't know it's happening.
And he's not a viable candidate
I mean this is America
You can't talk like a scared old granny
You know
You can't talk like Little Red Riding Hood
And get elected
You just can't
So you gotta be tall
You know
You gotta be tall
You just gotta be tall You know Strapping, yeah You gotta be tall Commanding
You just gotta be tall
Have a sex scandal
Yeah, you gotta have a sex scandal
You gotta be tall
You gotta be a reptile
Be over the age of 80
You gotta be in the elites
You gotta be in Skull and Bones
You gotta, whatever it is
You gotta be elite
You gotta make a deal with the devil
You gotta Rothschild
You gotta know George Soros
Whatever it is
George Soros has to smear blood on your asshole
There's certain ways you get in
There's other ways you can't.
But what disease does he have?
He's got spasmodic dysphonia, whatever.
It makes his voice weird.
I'm sorry to be making fun of that, but he does sound like a scared granny,
and I think I'm going to tweet that.
He does sound like a frightened granny.
He does sound like a granny trying to negotiate with someone who just broke into her house.
There's some fentanyl addict who just came in through the window
of the living room, and she's going,
there's no money in here.
So he does his speech
and he says, I believe we're
in Ukraine because we're good people.
You want to take a listen to it?
Let's take a peek at it. I sent it to you.
So this is the part. And people
who supported him got very
upset. And they said, I'm done with you.
I loved you and I'm done with you. I loved you, and now I'm done with you.
And then other people were going, no, no, no, no,
it was edited wrong, look at the full context of what he said.
But still the hardliners are going, no,
he still said that his son was in Ukraine,
he's proud of his son who was a gunner,
and also we're in Ukraine because we're primarily good people,
and the Ukrainian people are being brutalized.
And for some reason, that made people very, his supporters, very upset.
That we are in the Ukraine.
Scared granny.
For all the right reasons.
There's no money in my bedroom.
We are there because we are a good people.
Oh!
And, you know, Abraham Lincoln said America is a great nation because we're a good
nation and we continue to be a good people and we are there because of our compassion
the ukrainian people who have been brutalized who've been illegally invaded and have shown
extraordinary valor and courage defending their country
and defending their families
and their beliefs and their liberties
and their independence.
Things that Americans have to admire.
Wait, can you just pause it?
My own.
Where is he giving this speech?
Donald Rowling's family reunion?
Yeah, it's real.
It's black back there, yeah.
Like, where is that?
It looks like a line for a checks cashing place.
Yeah, I mean, what are we talking?
Is that at a Tony Rock show?
Yeah, but so far I agree with white Terrence Howard.
Yeah, I mean, here's the deal.
Yeah, he does look like a...
Here's the deal.
I don't disagree with what he's saying necessarily.
I don't know enough, but what he's saying
sounds like a very nice thing someone would say.
He's saying all the right things.
It does seem like Putin did invade the country.
I don't know if anyone's disputing that it does seem like the ukrainians are being
brutalized those are the hard facts right there yeah seems like the heart so far it seems like
the hard fact but to his supporters that no because this is nato's fault yeah so hearing this
this is our fault who is just a who's just a victim putin is just an innocent victim who would have no...
He's a dictator, a benign dictator,
who would have no ambition to expand his borders
or threaten us at all.
He's just a guy trying to fucking drink vodka
and look at chicks and grow...
What do they do over there?
Sell gas.
He just wants to sell gas to Europe
and be fucking chill.
He's not ambitious at all.
He has remained in power for so long
by through chicanery
and tricky means.
He went out of power,
put in a puppet,
and went back in power.
He did all that
because he loves
service
he loves service
he couldn't get enough
it had nothing to do
with his ego
or he's power hungry
addicted to helping people
he's a social worker
if he wasn't
if he wasn't
the dictator of Ukraine
he'd be working
for Lutheran
social services
he's a social worker
in a hospital he's a social worker at a hospital.
He's a nun.
So that's Putin.
He's a good fucking guy.
And also very smart.
Tough.
And admirable.
Or whatever else he was called.
So here's the rest of this.
I'm Connor.
I'm very, very proud that Connor...
People got pissed at this.
...joined the Foreign Legion and fought in the Ukraine
during the Kharkiv offensive as a machine gunner
for a special forces group.
So...
Why are you drinking that water?
It's going to clear up Your voice motherfucker
You know that shit
Not gonna do nothing
So they got pissed
Cause they're like
Not only did he say
We're a good people
We're there for the right reasons
He said that his son
Actually was there
And shed precious
Russian soldier blood
Potentially killed
Some precious Russian
Nazi delibera
Nazi liberators.
That's what they were initially there for, I think, to denazify
the joint.
It's basically
like his son might have
killed some heroes.
This happened
and it set off an alarm and then there were people
who were defending RFK who were like,
no, no, no, no, no, no. This was selectively edited.
Watch it in a larger context.
I watched in a larger context.
Here's the funny part.
Here's the funny part.
First off,
you had to turn your phone
all the way up.
I'm not going to get this
because it's the internet,
but I'm just right.
I mean,
what do you want me to do?
So I watched the larger context
and he said more reasonable stuff right but the problem with the people who
were posting watch the larger context don't understand is that you're not going to convince
people who are unreasonable you're not it doesn't matter he already said his son fought in ukraine
he already said that we're there because we're good people and they're bad and it was illegally
invaded so it's done it's done you just have to understand that that's primarily the people who
are supporting right here the tweet from uh mr ian i ian miles chong i love this kid he's a
i he follows me and i follow him so he's just like a right wing, uh, like media guy, but he's like,
uh, independent. He just tweets shit all the time. Um, but he's like, he's also a gay Asian guy.
Um, so he fits the niche, a very, uh, very, uh, it's still, he stands out anyway. He goes,
Oh no. RFK says the United States is involved. So right there, he puts it into, we like, oh no. Oh no! How dare he? How dare
he suggest
that we are not the evil
one here.
Putin is just a
defenseless girl
walking home
at 12 a.m.
trying to get to her place.
And there's aggressive
males there
who are trying to stop her.
And those males are the NATO, us, and the Ukraine.
We're the criminals. And Putin is just a
cute little intoxicated college dame
trying to get back to her dorm room so she can study.
Bad NATO.
Shame on us.
So that's where we are.
RFK, I think, lost his support.
Now we're stuck with Mr. Fallsdowns.
We're stuck with a guy who likes to tumble.
Here's how he should cover for it.
He should say, hey, I've been taking jujitsu.
I just want to work on my floor game.
It's going to be Joe Biden versus whoever's coming up.
If you ask Sean Terry, to be honest with you,
it's DeSantis or Trump.
I'll take either one.
Guys, come see me live June 24th
at Soul Joel's in Pottstown, PA.
The Wilbur Theater in Boston, July 8th.
Poughkeepsie, July 21st and 22nd.
Jordan Landing, Utah, August 4th and 5th.
The Paramount in Long Island.
Plano, Texas.
Springfield, Missouri.
Calgary, Alberta.
Fort Wayne, Indiana.
Red Bank, New Jersey, October 14th.
Cobb, San Francisco, October 27th, 28th.
Sony Hall, November 4th. Providence, San Francisco, October 27th, 28th. Sony Hall, November 4th.
Providence, Rhode Island.
Phoenix.
Spokane, Washington.
Tulsa.
Louisville.
And Toronto has been rescheduled to March 23rd at the Royal Theater.
Get your tickets at yannispappascomedy.com, patreon.com slash yannispappashour for a bonus episode.
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Thank you, guys.