Yannis Pappas Hour - The Magic of Bullsh*t
Episode Date: December 30, 2022Happy New Years everyone. Remember, if you can believe it, not only can you achieve it, but it’s true.Join for the weekly bonus episodehttps://www.patreon.com/yannilongdaysSee Yannis live Philly Dec... 29-31Miami Jan 13-15West Nyack NY Jan 20-22San Diego Jan 26-28Chicago Feb 24-26Atlantic City March 3rdEmmaus Pa, March 4DC March 9-11Dallas March 16-18Springfield MO March 23-25Phoenix March March 30-4/1Tampa April 21-22San Fran May 4-6Providence May 12-13Mohegan Sun sometime google itWatch Yanni’s stand up special: https://youtu.be/ArlCFemEDvQJoin our highlights page for highlight clips of every episode: https://youtube.com/channel/UCfMy34qIYYy7XiRaHKO1ykwNew episodes every Friday night and new bonus every week on Tuesday at Patreon.com/yannilongdays Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Happy New Year to be everybody.
Happy New Year.
We made it through 2022.
Who knows what 2023 brings before we get into this amazing end of the year episode of the
brand new all vitamin charged Giannis Papasour.
I want to give you my stand up dates, guys.
Come out to the shows, you know, December 29th through the 31st.
Right now, I am in Philly.
So come out to whatever remaining shows there are.
Miami Improv, January 13th through the 15th.
West Nyack, New York, up there by Jersey.
Westchester, you know, all that stuff.
West Nyack, New York, Levity Live, January 20th through the 22nd.
San Diego, 26th through the 28th.
Chicago, February 24th through the 26nd. San Diego, 26th through the 28th. Chicago, February 24th through the 26th.
Atlantic City, March 3rd.
Emeos.
Emeos Theater, March 4th.
DC, March 9th through the 11th.
Dallas, Texas, March 16th through the 18th.
Springfield, Missouri, March 23rd through the 25th.
Phoenix, March 30th through April 1st.
Tampa, April 21st through 22nd.
Comics is April 13th through the 15th.
And Mohegan Sun, San Francisco, May 4th through the 6th.
Providence, Rhode Island, May 12th through the 13th.
Now enjoy the app, everybody.
Happy New Year's.
Now enjoy the app, everybody.
Happy New Year's.
This is a very special edition of the Giannis Pappas Hour,
considering we're going to be looking back at 2022.
Not at all.
We're looking forward 2023.
Not at all.
The best way to live now is to live like a dog in the moment.
Okay? Don't project,
don't reject, don't retrospect. Be in the moment like a dog. A dog has no idea that China is moving
towards Taiwan with all its warships in the biggest incursion yet. It has no idea that the
Ukraine and Russia are still at war. And a nice little Christmas grift for Zelensky was left under the tree for billions and billions of dollars worth of weapons.
I mean, boy, Santa was good to that little guy.
And he's not even Christian.
Happy Hanukkah, my friend.
Nobody knows.
A dog doesn't know that COVID is ravaging everybody again, especially in New York. It doesn't know that Santos, the congressman-elect in Long Island,
is an absolute fun sociopath liar,
which we will get into.
Probably the funnest story.
May take up the whole episode
because I can't get enough of that guy.
But dogs don't know that.
Dogs don't know about herpes.
They don't know about strands.
They don't know about RSV.
They don't know about the flu.
They don't know that strands. They don't know about RSV. They don't know about the flu. They don't know that a famous American painter's son
was videotaped at January 6th insurrection or party,
depending on who you ask, okay?
Was it an insurrection?
Was it a party?
Or something in between?
It depends on when you join Twitter.
If you join Twitter now in the Elon Musk era, boy, I tell you what, the vaccines will kill you.
And maybe they will.
I don't know.
If you joined Twitter before Elon Musk's era, then the vaccines will save you from everything, including being sad.
All you got to do is get a vaccine.
Vaccines cure everything.
I don't know what to believe anymore.
Neither do you.
But guess what?
Neither does a dog.
But a dog's not upset about it because all a dog wants to know is what
do things smell like? So that's
why I now walk around and I sniff.
I just sniff. I walk
around and see a woman walking by
me. I go, is something that a guy
that wasn't married would do?
We're going into 2023. We got
a lot of steam.
We got to talk about Carrie Lake and her, you know,
her ploy to overturn the election in Arizona.
Little too late.
It's like joining Facebook at the end.
Little too late.
You know, the support for you
had just kind of died down.
And I love the fact
that she just looks like a hot...
She's got a real all business haircut she's
got Demi Moore you know in her in her what happens is when a woman gets older she cuts her hair
because you don't want to have anyone see you from behind and then say excuse me ma'am at a bar
and then you turn around and they go, whoa, you're a witch.
Because all older women with long hair just look like they should be on broomsticks.
So that's why everyone who's in their 50s who's a woman cuts their hair
to the exact same way Leonardo DiCaprio's hair looks.
We got tons going on.
China's letting it rip, finally.
They've got rid of their zero COVID policy, and they're just letting it rip.
So basically, China is now the new Florida.
The Twitter files keeps being released.
There's new info on that, okay?
They suppressed COVID misinformation or specialists who disagreed with the official narrative,
who were legitimate people.
The next Twitter files I'm releasing.
They come out of left field.
They can come from anywhere.
I like the way they're going.
It's a sneak attack.
The next guy who releases the next Twitter File,
I mean, it just, it really, it could be Jordan Peele
who does the next one.
We have no idea where they're coming from,
but they will keep coming until we get, I think, up to 1,007.
I think we're promised 1,007 Twitter file releases.
Also, St. Nicholas was Greek.
We have a lot of editorial retractions we will get to,
and the Libs of TikTok lady.
The Libs of TikTok.
What did I call it?
Yeah, TikTok.
Why did I just say it like I'm in China and I
have COVID? This is
Deionis Papasour. Let's find
out for the last time in 2022.
What's the
last? When you all talked up in the day before And the news online going on and on
What's lying wrong and there's something up
Now here comes a great kid you know you can trust
From the true who's who
To the news and cameras
To the fake politics
And the propaganda
Get his kids screwed in
Got a lot to say
Ah shit
It's about to be a long day
It's a long day
It's a long day
Libs a tick-tock
Libs a tick-tock Is that what a long day. Libs of TikTok.
Libs of TikTok.
Is that what I said?
Yeah.
Libs of TikTok.
And then I said that's the way someone in China with COVID would call it.
So right off the bat.
Demonetized.
We may be demonetized or hopefully people, the algorithm did not understand that joke.
The joke is that the Chinese, when they speak English, they throw R's in there where there are no R's.
And that's just how it's done, right?
Tic-tac.
So she's finally showed her face, the lady.
She's finally showed her face on an interview with a man of the people,
man of the people, Tucker Carlson.
And she did an interview,
and the LGTBQ community is upset about it. And basically she calls them a cult or whatever. Now Libs and TikTok, I don't
know if you know about Libs and TikTok. It's a account, right, where she posts anything that has
to do with drag brunch. If there's a drag show, she gets the video, she posts it.
She's just someone who posts all of the excesses of the left
and their culture.
And some of them are wild.
You know, she'll post.
One of the ones she posted recently was of a trans woman, okay,
having menstrual cramps.
So it's basically, I don't know if we could show it.
Does that get demonetized or whatever?
But it's just, and it's gone viral because it's this woman.
Oh, God.
It's a woman, okay?
It's a woman.
It's a lady. It's a lady who is not a
birthing person see how good i'm getting at this you're learning yeah it's a lady who's not a
birthing person but somehow is having menstrual cramps so um is that possible I don't know. I don't know.
In 2023, we may be able to say that that's not possible.
But as of right now, I'm going to stick to the rules of 2022.
I believe this lady.
I believe her.
Here she is having the worst menstrual cramps and saying it's her time of the month.
is having the worst menstrual cramps and saying it's her time of the month and um in 2023 you might be able to say
that people will never go for this you might be able to say that honestly
and just go hey listen i don't think people will ever go for this
i don't think there's ever going to be a majority of the human population
who goes, leave her alone.
It's her time of the month.
Avoid her.
Avoid her because you know how they get when it's their time of the month.
I don't think it'll ever happen where a majority of the population will go,
stay away from her.
Oh, my God, my girl. My girl, that time of the population will go stay away from her oh my god my girl my girl
that time of the month they'll i just don't know if that'll happen you know but i don't have a
crystal ball and i don't know if in 2023 going forward reality no longer matters at all i don't
and and by the way i'm not advocating for reality. Reality's no fun, okay?
A guy like Santos, who tipped the scales for Republicans in the House,
Congressman-elect George Santos,
a guy like him's a lot more fun.
You know what I mean?
It's a lot more fun.
It's a lot more fun to lie. Lying is funner.
Lying makes the world a better place. When women have makeup on and they have high heels on,
they're lying. When a guy meets a girl and says he's a minor league baseball player,
and yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I got Derek Jeter's number in my phone. It's lying, but it's funner. The truth's no fun.
There's nothing fun about the truth, right? So hopefully, in my opinion, we move into a world
in 2023 where the truth is what you want to believe and everyone's okay with that.
I think we should drop the reins. Stop trying. Stop trying. Stop arguing with her
and going, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. It's not possible for you to have menstrual cramps
because you were a guy 15 minutes ago. That's a bummer, dude. That's a fucking bummer.
That's a bummer. Why are you bringing this woman's party down? She wants to feel this pain.
You need to support her.
You need to support her.
You got to say, hey, can I get you a Midol and some beef jerky?
Yeah.
I mean, just like, let's just go with it, man.
Like, stop.
We want to live in a world, a wonderful world,
like a Peter Pan world,
where like your imagination is more important than what is
true yes whatever you imagine and who knows maybe that unlocks like the potential of the human brain
maybe that's what's been preventing us from using more than 10 of our brain or if you're einstein
14 of your brain or whatever they said he used yeah because they say we only use 10 of our brains
so maybe the key to unlocking the rest of the 90%
is to stop having people be such a buzzkill
when you want to play.
When you want to play as an adult,
back in the day, up until now,
and even still now,
people are buzzkills.
Adults come around, you go,
hey, two plus two equals seven.
And some adult goes, hey, you're stupid.
And then you got to go, you got to feel bad about yourself. But what if you're in a world where you
want two plus two to equal seven? And what if nobody stopped you? Maybe two plus two then starts
to become seven in your world. Maybe this whole hold on to reality thing is preventing us from shaking off our genitals
and becoming angels.
Who's to say it's not, right?
Maybe that's what Yahweh wants us to do.
Like, why can't this be menstrual camps?
Like, who am I to say that she's not having menstrual cramps?
Like, if I started believing that I wanted to grow a vagina
in between my asshole and my penis,
if nobody said that's ridiculous,
who's to say after 10 years of going,
I think I can, I think I can,
that a vagina won't develop between my asshole and my penis
that I can therefore plug myself in.
Yeah, right in the tank.
Yeah.
Yeah, manifestation.
Can anyone say that it's not possible?
Of course not.
Without being a buzzkill?
You've got to do a lot of massaging down there.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Maybe believing is achieving.
Yeah, you've just got to believe.
Take that trans DMT.
You know, who's to say reality is a thing?
Maybe it's just something, it's an illusion, right?
Maybe it's an illusion.
And maybe in 2023.
Oops, sorry.
Wait, let's hear this lady's voice a little bit.
Okay.
Stop.
I just think that, hold on.
I swear to God, if anyone says says I'm going to lose my shit.
Okay.
Now, does that sound a lot like me after my ex-girlfriend when I was 17 kicked me in the nuts?
Yeah, it does.
Yeah, it does.
Yeah.
It sounds exactly like me getting kicked in the nuts by my ex-girlfriend in high school after she found out that I cheated on does. Yeah. It sounds exactly like me getting kicked in the nuts
by my ex-girlfriend in high school
after she found out that I cheated on her.
Okay?
And she kicked me in the nuts.
That's what I sounded like.
Yeah.
But that's not what's happening here.
This lady did not get kicked in her nuts.
She's having a menstrual.
She's having menstrual cramps.
And we need to respect that,amps and we need to respect that
just like we need to respect
George Santos'
resume
you have to respect his curriculum vitae
George Santos
most of you aren't aware
and that's why you tune in
to this news program
is to find out about these stories
that you should be more aware of
because they're top of the list
when it comes to Christmas, New Year's fun.
Okay?
This week is officially Christmas to me.
This whole week,
when you go from Christmas to New Year's that week,
you could still go to a holiday party
and still say Merry Christmas.
All right?
Jesus is a white girl.
Takes the whole week for the birthday. Exactly. That's Merry Christmas. Jesus is a white girl.
Takes the whole week for the birthday.
Exactly.
That's exactly right.
A week of the month is Jesus' birthday.
Again, look, Christmas was no fun before we started lying about it.
Now, I want to take this premise a little further here before we get to George Santos because it is all about George Santos and the reality that he's created about himself, which made him electable and won him an election.
Would Christmas be fun without the Christmas tree, which there's not a reasonable explanation for?
I guess some Germans started lugging trees in. St. Nick, who was just some Greek dude,
thank you for the editorial retractions in the comments from last episode.
He's some Greek bishop.
Does he sound like a fun guy
who's going to buy you a toy?
No, he was a bishop, right?
But what did we do?
We made it fun.
We lied about it.
We said Santa Claus is Saint Nick.
We changed him into Santa Claus.
We made him a fat Scandinavian dude
who flies in the sky
with reindeers who can fly
and delivers presents like fucking jeff bezos
okay through your chimney for children and eats your cookies and bounces a little bit of milk and
it's gone what's funner what is funner getting kissed under the mistletoe or sitting around
praying being thankful for baby jesus and fasting which one's funner? Which one created the reality? We believed enough in Santa, right?
We started wearing Santa Claus hats. Nobody's wearing a Jesus cross and having a great time.
Nobody's wearing St. Nicholas's bishop robe. No family's going like, which adult is going to dress up like the real Saint
Nick for the kids to make it fun? No, they're dressing up as an imaginary guy named Santa Claus
that we made up and that is a complete lie. Here's the deal. December 25th wasn't even
Jesus's birthday. They changed it. They took some winter holidays from the Roman
pagans and they plugged it in and they
said, hey, let's move it to December.
They probably went like, hey man, winter's dreary
unless you're in New Zealand and then it's just dreary
because you're in New Zealand.
Let's just do something. Let's spruce
up the winter a little bit and make
the big dog's birthday go in
December. It's all bullshit
but it's better, right?
It's better.
Why do I need to continue to deny this woman's pain?
It's harder.
It gives me stress.
I got to yell at her.
I got to go, you're not having menstrual cramps.
Your name's Dan.
Your name's Bobby.
You were on my middle school basketball team. You don't have a vagina. I got to go, you're not having menstrual cramps. Your name's Dan. Your name's Bobby. Okay?
You were on my middle school basketball team.
You don't have a vagina.
You don't have a womb.
You can't.
Why?
Why don't you just go, hey, man, yeah.
That's Cynthia.
Cynthia's got a little bit of a deep voice,
and she's having a menstrual cramp
because she can give birth out of her asshole.
Why not?
Why not? You know know isn't that funner
it is fun yeah that's what people want anyway i mean they want they don't they don't you know
they want that they want everyone wants to believe you know you'd rather believe you know you'd rather believe that Chris D'Elia's
just
life rips
like he said
life rips
you don't want to watch
the new documentary
that they put out on
YouTube
you don't want to believe that
no you don't
okay
I watched that
I went Jesus Christ
what am I watching here
you don't want to believe
any of that
you want to believe
in Santa Claus
you want to believe
life rips
okay you want to believe certain people who claim to be one ethnicity are what they say
you want to believe i don't want to believe sean king's white he's a black guy i don't want to
believe rachel dolezal is just some white woman from a farm she's sister. I don't want to believe
La Bumbayera, whatever her name,
was not Hispanic and black
and she was just some Jewish girl from St. Louis.
I want her to believe she's
a reggaeton.
Reggaeton line.
You know?
I don't want to believe Barry Bonds
couldn't have hit all those home runs if he didn't stick a needle in them. I want to believe Barry Bonds couldn't have hit all those home runs
if he didn't stick a needle in them.
I want to believe in Santa.
I want to believe in the magic of bullshit.
Bullshit is much more magical, dog.
You ever meet a girl at night,
hook up, and it's just incredible,
and then wake up in the morning,
and then you wake up in the morning,
she pops in the shower, and then she pops pops off and she's got a completely different face
on it's the real one is that the reality you want to live in i don't want to live in that i want to
live in a world of makeup heels lifts toupees santa claus, and Stevens menstrual clamps.
I want to live in a world where people believe in George Santos,
Republican from Long Island.
I think I saw him yesterday at the Walt Whitman Mall
trying to return all the clothes he used from the campaign trail
at Bloomingdale's
that still had the stickers and tags on it.
He said, I'm not going to be needing these anymore.
Okay, now George Santos now presently resides in Huntington, Long Island.
He's in Long Island.
And he got elected as a Republican, openly gay Republican congressman, who we're not sure if that's true
because he had a wife. He had a wife. Yeah. And also you get to a point where after we found out
all this about him, you go, what is true about Georgie Santos, who, by the way, his election was very important for the GOP
because his election tips the scales
for the Republicans in the House.
So now the guy who's got the deciding vote
is also eating at La Piazza.
He's ordering his food from La Piazza in Huntington
next to the Walt Whitman Mall, okay?
He's down there at the Nautical Mile eating seafood,
getting served to him by some guy who has his eyebrows shaved,
is tanner than his dermatologist would like
because he's got a lot of sunspots that are cancerous on him,
but he doesn't care because summer's coming
and the Nautical Mile's going to be fucking lit.
It's going to be fire.
It's going to be fire.
And I just pulled these crabs out there
right off the shore where my uncle lives down there.
We go on the boat.
We drive it all the way down from the island
around to Manhattan and back up to Suffolk.
That's who George Santos is.
He's Long Island to the bone.
He goes, don't get out of the Northern
because there was an accident there.
You got to take the LIE.
It's four lanes.
It's a whole thing.
Long Island elected him
because this is how Long Island likes their politicians.
They like them crooked.
They like them crooked like a pretty woman with scoliosis
with a nice face and a crooked back.
George Santos, who we think is Brazilian,
but also claims to be Jewish.
The GOP Jewish Confederation, or whatever they're called, has denounced him because he claimed to be Jewish. The GOP Jewish Confederation, or whatever they're called,
has denounced him because he claimed to be Jewish.
He says, I never claimed to be Jewish.
He goes, I just said it a few times.
Now, George Santos is supposed to have been
a college-educ educated fucking business beast.
I'm talking someone who Andrew Tate would be proud of because the kid supposedly was
getting that money at Citibank.
He was getting that money at Goldman Sachs.
It was on the GOP website.
It was on his resume.
It was on his resume.
Turns out George Santos is an old friend of Steve Renizzisi.
They're like Leopold and Loeb.
Is Steve Renizzisi from Long Island?
Yes, he is.
Smithtown.
Isn't that something there?
Isn't that something there? I didn't even know he was.
I just went out on a limb and asked.
Because when you're from Long Island, being honest is seen as a weakness.
Yeah.
It's seen as a moral flaw.
It's a moral flaw.
Okay?
Criminality is part of the culture.
It's as much as part of the culture as bagels, pizza, cars,
sweet 16s, and nose jobs.
You're in Long Island, okay?
You live in fear of MS-13.
You avoid traffic.
And you never come to the city because that's a whole thing.
That is a whole thing.
But you definitely don't want your politicians to be honest. you don't want your comedians to tell the truth.
You want your comedians to have been in the buildings at 9-11 and be heroes.
And you want your politicians to have worked at Goldman Sachs and Citigroup
and own 13 properties when they don't.
So George Santos, it was found out, did not work at Citigroup,
did not work at Goldman Sachs, and also does not own 13 to 17 properties out there in South Hope, Long Island.
He owns zero.
He owns zero properties.
In fact, he owes rent.
He owes rent.
We have a congressman who's going into office who owes back rent.
He is quoted as saying, I'm not going to make excuses for this.
Listen, I'm not making excuses here.
But a lot of people overstate their resumes, okay?
Or twist a little bit.
I like the choice of words.
He twists a little bit.
Am I gay?
Sure.
Sure, I'm gay.
Okay, did that make me unique when I got elected?
Sure.
Sure.
I'm not going to say I'm not guilty of that.
But what am I guilty of?
I'm guilty of twists in a little bit.
It's not a lie when you twist.
He also admitted that he never worked for those financial firms,
as he previously suggested.
But he did claim that he worked for another company
that was called something, something, something, something.
And he just called it a poor choice of words.
I love this guy.
I want this guy to be my congressman.
This is a guy who knows how to get things done.
Do you know anyone honest who can get anything done?
No.
Gotta lie.
No.
You gotta lie, man.
Gotta lie a little bit.
Like, look.
We want to believe in the magic of bullshit, baby.
You know, Prince was 4'6".
He wore high heels that made him 5'3".
Yeah.
You wanted him to be in those heels.
You want that.
That's what you want.
You want Kim Kardashians to just plasterize their faces.
You want them to look the way they look, which is not natural.
Nobody likes natural. If you like natural, go to San
Francisco and be depressed
when you date your girlfriend with a mustache
and he yells at you about the whales
and how they need to be saved.
See how fun that is.
Is that fun?
That's no fun.
George Santos is my type of guy.
He claimed he had degrees from Baruch.
I mean, if you're going to lie, dog,
if you're going to make it up...
Go top tier.
Why are you going to go Baruch?
Yeah.
Why are you going to go at the same college
that so many of my childhood friends did about a semester at?
He lied about Baruch at New York University.
That's actually what you should do.
Maybe he's so brilliant here that he just threw Baruch in there.
To throw people off a little bit.
To throw people off.
Because NYU, you're putting too much focus.
What liars love to do is they're all over the place.
They throw so much at you that you forget to, to you know so if i go if i go i
wasn't there yesterday and you know this because you're you should should have been it should have
been a cop if you were fully straight what liars like to do is they throw a lot at you right yeah
i'm sure your dad tell you they throw a lot because if you throw just one thing then you
focus on the one line you can investigate you it. You can pick it apart easily.
But a liar will always go all over the place.
A liar will go like,
yeah, were you there yesterday?
No, I was over at the pizza place,
but then what happened was my girlfriend,
she got AIDS,
so I had to go there and cure it
and find out what magic like to do.
It's crazy that magic son is a woman now.
Yeah.
Anyway, I was also at the store yesterday too,
but at that store,
you won't believe what this woman said to me.
And you're just like, ah. So you go like, hey, yeah, man, I went to at the store yesterday too, but at that store, you won't believe what this woman said to me. And you're just like, ah.
So you go like, hey, yeah, man, I went to Baruch.
I went to NYU.
I did a little time at City College in Queens,
a little St. John's time.
I taught over there a little bit as well.
I was a judge for a little bit.
I also was straight for a while.
Yeah, what's the big deal?
I'm Italian, I'm Jewish, whatever.
I'm from Brazil.
And you're just going like,
nobody's attention span, you know?
But if you say, I went to NYU, that focuses you on,
let me go check the records at NYU to see if we have a George Santos
in a database.
He'd been found out.
He got found out, okay?
What he said was that when he was a kid, he was seven,
his mother had had an affair with a very light-skinned man
who went to NYU.
Much like many of y'all's family,
it's not that simple and very messy.
Many of us do a little time at NYU in Baruch,
and that's what happened.
But he got caught, and he owned it.
I don't know if this is a good move or not.
You guys tell me.
He says, I didn't graduate from any institution of higher learning.
I was educated on the streets.
He goes, I'm embarrassed and sorry for having embellished my resume.
Embellished my resume.
Embellished my resume sounds a lot better.
Poor choice of words sounds a lot better.
Then I lied.
Then I lied.
Then I have no integrity.
I'll do whatever it takes.
This sounds better.
But also it does prove that this is a guy who's motivated and will get shit done.
He owns up and he goes like this. This is what I love. I love when you victim blame. I love when you go, hey, we do stupid things in life. We all do. I did a stupid thing, but so do you.
And you're going, yeah, I'll just throw that into the pot of all of us doing stupid shit you know i've lied before this guy's brilliant dude yeah
this guy's good he's good man this language is good we do stupid things we do stupid things we
do stupid things we the people i've been elected to represent which is who i did this for i didn't
do this to finally have a job that's on the books for my landlord
to be able to know that the money's coming.
He's registered to vote in Whitestone, Queens,
which is a very prominent,
sort of well-to-do neighborhood in Queens,
which has great views down there, that's why.
Great sea views from the water.
That was looked into.
He doesn't live there anymore.
He's currently living in Huntington, I believe.
I wouldn't be surprised if he was just living above that, like,
big pizza spot in Huntington where they give you those huge slices
and throw cold cheese on there.
Little Vincent's, yeah.
You're familiar with the area.
Yeah, I know.
You're close from there.
Yeah.
Now, how come black guys don't have the Long Island accent
out there in Long Island?
Black guys always have the Long Island accent out there in Long Island? I don't think so. Black guys always have
a black guy accent.
They never really fully adopt
the white accent from the area.
Yeah, but New York's like COVID
because when you got
that New York street accent,
that shit just goes farther
and farther.
There's dudes in Montauk,
black dudes,
that talk like they're 50 Cent.
Yeah.
So you think that's just
an extension of New York?
It's just an extension of New York.
Plus, yeah,
I think just black guys,
I think they sound a little cooler.
They just hear it and they go, no, thank you.
Yeah.
They just hear it.
They go, what are you talking about?
Listen, Darrell, you don't want to sound like this?
This sounds great.
What's the matter?
I would rather fucking chew on a bullet than live in Long Island.
I told my wife that.
When she said, why don't we, listen, there's a lot of nice areas in Roslyn. I said, you know, it's also nice me chewing on a bullet, chewing on it, chewing on
it. Long Island's great except for the people. And I mean that. No, Long Island's a beautiful
place to live. It's nice. It's a beautiful place
to live if you want to completely detach
yourself from the rest of the world
and be so close to New York City but
yet so far in
mindset. Yeah, it's a great place to live if you want
to hear a 17-year-old Dominican man's muffler.
He said he was very proud of his Jewish heritage
as recently as November 22nd,
is George Santos,
if that's his real name,
George Santos.
Now look,
the guy's probably so brilliant,
I think he knows in the Republican Party,
DeSantis is the front runner.
Santos, it's all subliminal, man.
When it comes to marketing and bullshit,
it's all like subconscious.
If we find out that George Santos is not his real name,
I would not be surprised.
I would not be surprised if he chose Santos
because in the Republican consciousness,
Santos is very big.
And you just go, winner.
You just affiliate it. Winner, go, winner. You just affiliate it.
Winner, winner, winner.
I had a friend who worked on Wall Street
who changed his name to his middle name,
or so he said it's his middle name,
to Jordan.
Because he said people think of Michael Jordan,
winner, winner, you know, instead of his dumb name.
And it works.
If someone calls you and says,
hey, how you doing?
This is Eugene.
This is Eugene Dolonovsky-Wofsky.
I'm here to tell you about these great stocks.
Sir, just give me a second.
Would you be more willing to listen to that guy
or a guy that says,
hey, what's up?
My name's Jordan.
My name's Jordan Steele.
I'm listening to Jordan Steele.
My problem is I never change my name
My name should just be
Jan
Pap
John Pap
Nah the pap is too big
Because I think of pap smear
Yeah how about John Pop
That's my new name from now on
My new name is John Pop
John Pop yeah
Great basketball coach.
Yeah.
And my catchphrase will be like, pop the crowd.
Pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop.
Pop, pop, pop, pop, pop.
See, he defeated Robert Zimmerman.
In a newly drawn district covering parts of Queens
and some nearby Long Island suburbs,
flipping control to Republicans
who dominated the New York suburbs
on their way to winning the House majority.
It was his second run.
He lost to Democratic Tom Suozzi.
How do you pronounce that?
Suozzi?
Suozzi, yeah.
Suozzi.
That's about as Italian as it gets.
Tommy Suozzi in 2020.
The names were very Long Island too.
Zimmerman, Swazi.
Most of the criticism he faced during his recent campaign
centered on his attendance
of former Donald Trump's rally in Washington
on January 6th.
6, 6, 6, 6.
In a video in which he claimed to have written a nice check
to help alleged rioters with their legal fees.
Somehow he beat all this because, you know,
the January 6th stigma was bad.
All the other guys lost.
I think Santos might have been the only one of these guys
who was affiliated with that rigmarole.
I'm going to take a book out of George Santos
with that protest,
with that peaceful gathering, with that book club.
Book club's the best way.
That book club meeting that happened outside the Capitol.
Everyone else who was kind of affiliated with that
and any type of election denial didn't fare well.
Yeah.
who was kind of affiliated with that and any type of election denial didn't fare well.
Yeah.
Including our lady of the month,
sexy Carrie Lake.
There's no way this woman does not wear leather
in her downtime.
There's no way she doesn't put a horse tail in her ass
and has some guy ride her.
She's got that face.
Am I wrong?
There's no way she's on the level in the bedroom.
Not for a second.
Look at that lady.
Anyone who's all business like that is all party behind closed doors.
Yeah.
Look at Carrie Lake.
Arizona, baby.
That's a fun ride.
That's a fun ride right there.
You put a saddle on that woman's back.
Yeah. Throw a butt plug in her. Take her for a spin. baby that's a fun ride that's a fun ride right there you put a saddle on that woman's back yeah
throw a butt plug in her take her for a spin she likes it carrie lake
carrie lake you can smell her you can smell the chanel cologne you can smell her walking by you
when you look at her you can also smell her.
She's got that look that smells like Chanel cologne.
Too much perfume.
You can see her coming from a mile away.
She lost her lawsuit.
She was challenging the election in Arizona.
She refused to concede the race
after she lost by more than 17,000 votes to Katie Hobbs.
Instead, she went on the conspiracy.
She stayed on the election-rigged trail.
She took that trail, the road less traveled.
And it didn't work out.
It did not work out for her in fact i i heard that her lawyers are also going to be in trouble for uh for bringing the lawsuit and i
don't understand the reasons why um but they argued that hundreds of thousands of illegal ballots infected the vote.
Her lawsuit demanded she be declared the winner of the race
and focused on technical issues.
Maricopa County faced the day of the election
that many of the rights have pointed out as fraud.
Judge denied that the issues disproportionately affected Republicans,
rejecting a request from the state GOP to extend voting hours last minute.
The judge's ruling is consistent with rulings in other election denying Arizona Republicans cases,
which with both failed Secretary of State candidate Mark Fincham
and Attorney General candidate Abraham Hadamah
losing their election lawsuits as well.
So Arizona just went for it.
They just went for it and said,
hey man, if we lose, we're going for this.
She tweeted, my election case provided the world
with evidence that proves our elections
are run outside of the law.
This judge did not rule in our favor.
However, for the sake of restoring faith
and honesty in our elections,
I will appeal this ruling.
All right, good luck, Harry.
We wish you luck, girl.
We wish you luck.
I feel bad for whatever Filipino man
she was dominating that night.
I just feel bad for all the female hairstylists
who lose money because she doesn't go in there.
She goes and gets her hair cut at Supercuts
with the dudes.
She walks in and goes, give me a
number four. She says, yeah, give me a
four.
Little longer on the top, but not much.
Don't you dare touch these sideburns.
She recently joked her pronouns
were I won.
Like that. Almost as
good as my joke, hee haw.
That's the best.
Yeah.
So, I don't know.
I want to believe in the magic of Carrie Lake's election.
I want to believe that everyone who says they didn't win didn't lose.
That's the type of speak I'd be going.
I'd be going, hey, I didn't win, but I didn't lose.
You're going, all right, I like that.
You don't have to win to not lose.
You're going, what does that mean?
You're going, exactly what I said.
And you're going, okay, I like it.
Just keep the ball in the air.
That's what it does.
You got to keep the ball in the air.
Yeah.
And if it falls, it lands in her mouth.
Because what happens is eventually people lose interest.
So people just lose interest.
They forget what you did.
They kind of forget the bad stuff.
Even when documentaries come out on YouTube,
I think life's still going to continue to rip.
I just don't know if people don't have the bandwidth.
That documentary was bad. It was real bad. It was real bad. I just don't know if people don't have the bandwidth. You know?
That documentary was bad.
It was real bad.
It was real bad.
I mean, he was attracting more girls than an Ugg retailer.
I mean, seriously.
But this is YouTube, though, right?
It's a YouTube doc, but there's some victims in there,
quote unquote, allegedly, who speak.
And one of which filmed herself while she was speaking to him.
And he's going like,
hey, will you take this stuff down?
I don't know what it proves.
I don't know. A couple girls got tattoos.
He was talking about he wanted to be a cult.
He wanted to have a cult.
A hedonistic cult. I don't know.
He just might have a good imagination.
He says, dude, I mean, the guy's creating his own reality it's america yeah all these girls were willing
participants outside of law the one good point that was made in that documentary was when the
guy said i know some of you are thinking this, but also sexting a minor
is illegal. And I was like, oh yeah, that is illegal. Yeah. Yeah. But I don't know. I don't
know what to tell you. It's on YouTube. Google it. And I want you to guess who I'm talking about.
I'm sure you got it right. Throw it in the comments.
At this point, I'd like to get to our editorial retractions
from last episode.
People wanted me to emphasize that St. Nick
was a Greek bishop or something like that, right?
So I guess he was.
Yeah, but he was known for his generosity and kindness.
What old Greek man do you know
who's known for his generosity and kindness? What old Greek man do you know who's known for his generosity and kindness?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No.
Not too many.
Yeah.
If old Greek men are giving out anything,
it's racial epithets.
Yeah, you won't even,
yeah, that,
and you're not even getting free fries on the side.
No.
You got to pay.
You're paying for that deluxe.
You're paying for that deluxe.
St. Nicholas was a Greek bishop.
Is that what he was?
Mm-hmm.
And what was he doing?
Like, why?
How did he become Santa?
Yeah.
He transitioned.
That's right.
He transitioned.
The name Santa Claus evolved from Nick's Dutch nickname,
Sinterklaas, A shortened form of St. Nicholas
Dutch for St. Nicholas
So
I guess that's what it is
I don't know what he's doing in Holland
But he was a Greek dude apparently
So there you have it
I said it
But Sani's still better
Okay, George Santos
I believe in his reality.
Mexico is technically in North America.
If you were wondering, we left it off last episode
when I was referring to North America.
I left Mexico off.
I was making Mexico more South America,
but it is technically part of North America.
Yeah, we were just doing what most people want Biden to do.
Exactly.
We were excluding it the way a lot of people want it to be excluded from America,
the continent of North America.
But it is technically in North America.
Yeah.
All right, so there you have it.
And also, somebody pointed out that me and jared were talking about how dangerous it is
to get high on your own supply you can't be the jester and the king and then a person pointed out
my bullshit and said then right after that i said my special was one of the best. So, touche.
I'll say touche.
I'll say touche on that. But you did have some big co-signers, you know,
Rogan, Segura, Sebastian.
So, you weren't necessarily tooting your own horn.
You're just letting that be known that they said that.
Yeah, and just objectively, it's just,
it is one of the best specials, objectively.
It just objectively is.
Yeah.
I mean, I don't know what's going on in the world.
You know, maybe I didn't promote it right.
I get that.
I know now I should have done.
You got to do like a big teaser clip.
You got to do a big teaser clip before you release it.
You got to get it.
You got to promote it first.
I get it now.
I see Schultz does it right.
But I mean, it just will hold.
It's just one of the best specials in 2022.
Yeah.
It's just one of the best.
Yeah.
You know, throughout the hour, it's just it is it's it's just one of the best yeah you know throughout the hour it's just like you know better with time yeah it gets better as it goes on the same way you want when you go see a comedian live you want it to get better it's a
crescendo yeah nowadays i get it i understand that it's different now like you watch um you want to
see a comedian's minute clip or you want it to immediately, you would rather it be funny in the first 20 minutes
and then trail off
because a lot of people don't watch the whole thing.
But mine is funny in the way an hour should be funny.
It's what it is.
My next one will be 13 minutes.
You get a 13-minute special.
You're going to release it on Reels?
I'm coming out naked at the beginning of this one.
I'm coming out naked and I'm screaming,
there was a murder!
And then it'll get people hooked in so most people watch things online that's the advantage of going on netflix
like if my special was on netflix um i think it very well could have really blown up because
people tune in on netflix still first of all they're a little older um i think my uh sense of humor is a little more mature yeah and they sit down to
watch the whole thing you know they like it more so than on youtube i think on youtube's a little
bit more scrolly you're on your phone you're not as comfortable you're not sitting back
chris rock's doing a new one uh he's releasing on netflix it's gonna be live too yeah oh he's
doing it live.
Yeah, it's a live stream.
Oh, so he's trying something new.
That's fun.
I think it's their first live performance, right?
Yeah.
Yeah, that's cool.
That's a cool thing.
Yeah, he's going to make up for the last time he went live.
Right.
What happened last time?
He got smacked.
He got smacked on the last one.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
Maybe this will be funny if someone just runs out and smacks him again.
So, I mean, it's been a good year, man.
Christmas was good.
Everyone's sick.
Did you guys have a good Christmas?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
What'd you get?
What'd you get from Sani?
I got a nice chain.
Oh, yes. Is that what you're wearing right now? Yeah. Let's see it. Let's see it. What is that? It What'd you get from Sani? I got a nice chain. Oh, yes.
Is that what you're wearing right now?
Yeah.
Let's see it.
Let's see it. What is that?
It's like a Black Panther chain.
Ah.
Ooh.
Yeah.
No cross on there?
No, no, no cross.
Just showing a little bit of my nerdiness, you know?
Is that like white gold?
It's silver.
Silver.
Yeah, silver.
I like silver.
Wait, that's an official Wakanda chain?
Well, it's the chain that he wore in the movie.
Oh.
So, yeah, kind of.
Is that a Disney product?
No, it's not a Disney product.
No.
That guy, he just had ass cancer and he did it stoically.
Yeah.
He didn't tell anyone about it.
Yeah.
He died like how you promoted your special.
Yeah.
Yeah, he did.
Nobody knew.
Down low. He kept it quiet, then it was just out
People had to catch it
And I think I only went on like two or three podcasts to promote it
Yeah, it's fine though
I mean, you put it up
Put it up, it's still close to a mil
It'll get to a mil eventually, that's fine
You did the hard part
Yeah, I got it up there
Pressed upload on YouTube
I did, I did You know, I got it up there. Pressed upload on YouTube. I did. I did.
You know, but it was a quiet release.
Quiet.
Yeah.
But they call that a soft launch.
Yeah, you know, sometimes you hope that just the quality will carry it.
But I think it carried it for the people who watched it.
But, yeah, you got to throw a lot of bells and whistles on things nowadays
to get people's attention.
And I understand there's a lot of stuff going on.
There's a lot of stuff going on.
I mean, George Santos is going into Congress.
This won't stop him from going into Congress.
This is where we're at now.
I mean, it's just we're at a point now where it doesn't matter what is good
what is real what is true just doesn't matter he will get he'll he will be in congress
we're we have fatigue, there's just fatigue.
Like, do you think anyone truly has the time to care about this?
No.
He's going in.
So, you know, that's just where we are.
I mean, Balenciaga, they'll survive that, right?
Balenciaga with their whole child photo thing,
whatever that was,
that Kim Kardashian denounced,
but not enough for people who were mad at her.
And she spoke about that on her recent episode
with the great journalist Angie Martinez.
She sat down with Hot 97's Angie Martinez
to set the record straight about what she's going through.
Poor woman.
You know?
I mean, it can't be easy being Eva Braun.
It can't be easy
having the father of your kid
just be out there wearing
a head sock over his head
talking about how
Jews need to go away.
That's got to be tough for her, right?
Very hard.
How do you explain that to the kids?
That's a tough one.
Yeah.
I don't know how you explain it,
but you got to keep figuring out cute, fun ways to describe it,
which is kind of fun to think about.
They're going, hey, mommy, mommy's it do what's it do as person
daddy daddy's referring to how do we say this um
what daddy meant to say. Daddy speaks another language.
And in that other language of love speak,
the word Jews means bad people.
They're bad people in the love language.
So Jews is just, hey, but mommy, mommy, my friend,
we live in Hidden Hills. There's a lot of those there.
I mean,
is he telling my
friend Moshi? Why is he talking about my friend Moshi?
Here's the deal.
What's the name?
Psalm. Here's the deal, Psalm.
Here's the deal.
Because you know kids got a lot of questions
and they just keep questioning.
Mommy, mommy, mommy,
why is daddy burning a cross on your lawn?
Here's the deal.
Daddy's very enthused about Christmas.
And where daddy comes from,
daddy comes from,
that's a Christmas tree.
But mommy, mommy, mommy,
I saw this movie where they said that burning a cross is what the bad people do to people who look like me
and daddy looks like me so what's going on with daddy listen bitch your daddy's fucking crazy
and somehow decided to be a black Nazi I can't explain it he hates Jews and he's a Nazi and he
all he talks about is he wants it to be a white Christian nation.
I don't know how else to talk to you, Psalms.
But listen, okay?
I don't know why this is weird to you, okay?
Because my stepdad is now a woman.
And I got famous swallowing black dick.
What do you want me to tell you?
Okay?
Your real father fucking got one of the
most famous murderers off, okay, I don't know what to tell you, we're not an ordinary family,
can you accept it, did you think it was going to go normal after daddy got off the most famous
murderer who cut a woman's head off, and then your grandmommy married a guy who was famous in the 80s was on weedy
weedy weedy's boxes and is now woman of the year i don't know what to tell you okay stop asking me
fucking questions okay daddy's a nazi that's the answer to your question he's burning a cross on our lawn because he's mad. Okay? He's mad.
What's he mad about?
He's mad about Moshe's family
and what he claims their people are doing
by the fireplace. I don't know what to tell you.
Alright?
There was a 27-year-old guy in here
who
may have been your dad
soon. I don't know what to tell you.
Daddy's mad at that guy.
He's mad at me.
The guy who cut off the woman's head is my sister's father probably.
Nothing's normal here.
It shouldn't be that crazy for you, Psalm.
For God's sakes, your name is fucking psalm
stop asking questions but she's struggling with this so she sat down with angie and she addressed
all of what life is like for her now and she summed it up in this sentence it's really fucking hard it's got to be hard
can't be easy
i had the best dad she said and i had the best memories and the greatest experiences
and that's all i want my for my kids as kids is that they can have that.
She was very close to her father, Robert Kardashian.
That's what I would want for them, she continued.
If they don't know the things that are being said
or what's happening in the world,
why would I ever bring that energy to them?
That's really heavy growing up.
Shit, that they've they're
not ready to deal with oh wait till they get of age and they learn how mommy's career started yeah
they're gonna go i'm thankful i didn't have a father like you
she said she will be so prepared when her children eventually ask questions
about their dad's public misdeeds.
What are the chances that all four of these kids turn out okay?
Michael Jackson's kids turned out all right.
And the one kid's name was Blanket.
Yeah.
You don't hear much from him.
Yeah, but Michael Jackson, yeah, yeah.
You never know. These kids might have a chat one day my kids will thank me for sitting here and not bashing their dad when i could
all that crazy shit they'll thank me and i'll privately answer anything that they want to know
it's not my place anymore to jump in. She's dealing with this.
This is tough.
Was it worth it?
I don't know.
Was it worth it?
If you're Kim, was it worth it now? Now she's aging.
You see her in the video.
She's starting to age a little bit.
Very skinny.
She doesn't look like that anymore.
She looks thin and frail, like she's been going through things.
Her eyes are starting to be a little
set deeper back.
You know?
The lack of meals are really starting to show on her face.
The second half of life,
that's when the team that's losing sometimes makes
a comeback.
And it ain't so pretty for the team that was ahead.
Especially when you're famous for nothing.
Like you don't have a craft to fall back on.
It's halftime and your ex-husband is a Nazi.
She, like us, are waiting for the second half in 2023.
It can't go good.
It's been going too good for too long.
You know?
The bill's coming due.
Yeah.
Kanye, the Kanye thing, I don't think,
ends with him going like,
hey, man, I was all wrong about everything I said.
I hope everyone forgives me.
I don't think there's a big hug with him on stage
where, you know, him and Seth Rogen just hug it out at the Oscars
the way Eminem did with Elton John.
Remember that?
They did a song together after all his homophobic lyrics,
and Eminem just did a song with Elton John,
and then they hugged it out.
Because, yeah, you're right.
The thing is, Eminem was just doing lyrics in a song.
Kanye's out there saying some stuff.
It's got to hurt.
It must have been a weird Christmas for the Kardashians.
It must have been a weird Christmas for the Kardashians. It must have been a weird Christmas.
He tried calling.
You think she's changed her number yet?
I would love to hear the voice messages that Kanye leaves her.
Oh, those will come out next year on the Kardashians.
Oh, yeah, they got to. Yeah, next year on the Kardashians. Oh, yeah, they got to.
Yeah.
Next year on the Kardashians.
Kanye's voicemails.
Repent, sinner.
You're going to hell.
I don't know.
But anyway, good luck to the Kardashians in 2023.
Good luck to George Santos in 2023.
Good luck to the person we're talking about on YouTube, who also probably had a weird Christmas after
that dropped. Good luck to Taiwan. Hope you hold strong. Ukraine. Good luck to Carrie Lake. I hope you continue your fight. I hope everyone continues.
Good luck to Cher in her new relationship with her 30-year-old, Bew. I respect Cher, man.
She does it quietly. She still looks great. You know?
If you can get a young guy, go
with it. Look at what she looks like.
76 years old.
And she's with Cisco.
People are like, where's Cisco?
Well, here he is. He's marrying Cher.
Look at who she's marrying.
And look how great
she looks at 76. Doesn't even look like she's marrying. And look how great she looks at 76.
Doesn't even look like she's had crazy work done.
No, not at all.
Looks like she has the right amount of work done.
76.
She found A.E. Edwards, who's 36.
And she's showing off her massive diamond ring.
What do you think paid for that diamond ring?
Jay Moore.
Good luck to you.
Good luck to the Taliban in Afghanistan
who really put the kibosh on being a woman.
That's over.
Yeah.
If you're a woman in Afghanistan
and you want to do anything,
anything,
with your life,
that's over.
No more.
That's over.
You're born a woman.
They tell you to go back into the womb.
That's it.
That's it.
The only thing that can help you
if you're a woman in Taliban
is transitioning to a guy.
That's where they really need it.
They tighten their grip.
The Taliban continues to tighten their grip on Afghan women and girls.
Yeah, so they can't work now.
They can't go to university.
Here they are protesting.
That's ballsy for them to go out there and even protest.
Ain't nobody coming to help you.
That's it.
No more opportunities for that.
There ain't nobody coming to help you.
Yeah, the only thing they can do now is end up in somebody's YouTube documentary.
That's about it.
That's all.
U.S. Special Envoy
for Afghan Women, Girls, and Human Rights
spokesperson Rina Amari
has repeatedly raised alarm about
violence against women.
Those who fear
radicalized Afghanistan should be alarmed
by the Taliban's policies against women
and girls.
Yeah, but that's just unlucky now.
We're gone.
Not everything is bad.
America being there,
there was a lot of people in Afghanistan that were happy about that.
They were happy.
Isn't that messy?
That's pretty messy.
Good luck to
the Chinese citizens
now just
probably dying
by the fucking millions.
King Z was like, alright, just let it
rip, dude. This zero COVID
policy thing's not working.
And they're letting it rip and the videos that
are leaking out of there look awful because they never really had their first wave because they
shut it down they've been shut down like we were so they're getting things three years ago the way
like back in the day before the internet you'd go to europe and they'd be getting like songs and
shows three years later you remember that like before the internet you'd go go to Europe and they'd be getting like songs and shows three years later.
Do you remember that?
Like before the internet, you'd go over to like Greece
and they'd be watching like Dukes of Hazzard in 1996
and it would just come out.
They dropped their travel tracing requirements.
Zero COVID is over.
At midnight on Monday,
the smartphone app that they had,
where they were tracing everything,
watching everybody in a beautiful communist system that a lot of people over here love to defend.
God, they don't need to quarantine anymore.
They allow no independent parties to conduct verification.
Such apps have been used in the past to suppress travel-free speech.
It's over.
The move follows the government's snap announcement last week
that it was ending many of the most draconian measures
that follow three years of lockdowns, travel restrictions,
and quarantine on those moving between provinces and city,
mandating testing, and requirements
that a clean bill of health be shown
to access public areas.
So the Chinese population's about to take a little haircut.
But, you know, when your hair is that long,
nobody's going to notice.
What is there, a billion?
It's like when my wife gets a
haircut and she asks did i notice i'm like i never know you ever can you ever notice your woman you
like and they get mad like what do you mean you can't notice and i'm like i don't know i i can't
i mean what your hair was like where was it i don't know it was like down here and now it's down
to there yeah and they're always like i got four four inches taken off. And you're like, I didn't notice because your hair's long.
It's not like you had hair, and now you're a skinhead.
I would notice that.
Nobody ever notices a woman's haircut.
Just like we won't notice the haircut that the Chinese population's about to take of a couple mil.
What's a couple mil when you got a bill?
They're about to lose probably a couple mil. What's a couple mil when you got a bill? They're about to lose probably a couple mil.
It is what it is.
So good luck.
Good luck to the Chinese people.
Their new year probably happened already.
So I don't know when the dragon comes out
and blows the dog or whatever.
They got their own New Year's, right?
Yeah, I think it's on January, right?
Oh, maybe it's yet to happen. that's really gonna put a pin in it because everyone's gonna get together yeah they'll
celebrate and uh bang super spreader um good luck to the people in buffalo yeah who uh i thought
that's what they do up there i I thought they're prepared for snow.
No.
But the snow is so severe.
Like, what is it, 27 to 32 people in northern New York died from snow.
Good luck, Buffalo.
That's the thing, though.
When someone dies in Buffalo, you're going like,
was it the weather that killed them?
It's like, you know, it's like when people with COVID die and people have certain political beliefs,
they go, what really killed them?
Was it COVID?
Was the fact that he was 400 pounds?
Was the fact that he was 86?
Like when you die in Buffalo, is it like, did you die from sadness?
Did you die from fucking Buffalo wings?
Did you die because you're extremely unhealthy?
There's no models in Buffalo.
Nobody has a gym membership in Buffalo.
There are no gyms in Buffalo.
One of the murder capitals in
the United States, too. And I don't blame
them either because it's fucking cold.
So you want to get fat like an Eskimo
so you can have extra padding
for the winter. It's so fucking cold.
It's like a bear going into hibernation.
Yeah.
So, good luck.
Good luck to Elon Musk on Twitter.
Good luck to the Tesla stock.
That's plummeting.
It's going down like the ball in Times Square.
Yeah.
Damn, down 11% today.
Yeah.
Did Elon Musk stop being wild?
Will he stop being wild in 2023?
I don't think so.
Because Medvedev tweeted on Twitter
a pretty wild, his wild predictions for 2023.
Like, I'm wishing luck.
Dmitry Medvedev wished luck to the West.
And can you pull the whole thing up so I can read it or no?
Dmitry Medvedev, Russia, he's identified on Twitter
as Russia government official.
He said, number one, oil price will
rise to $150 a barrel and the gas price will top $5,000 per 1,000 cubic meter. The UK will join
the EU. The EU will collapse after the UK returns. Euro will drop out of use as the former eu currency poland and hungary will occupy western
regions of the formerly existing ukraine formally this guy's going hard the fourth
reich will be created encompassing the territory of germany and its satellites, Poland, the Baltic states,
Chechnya, Slovakia, the Kiev Republic.
So he's not even calling it Ukraine.
He's calling it the Kiev Republic.
And other outcasts.
Wow.
War will break out between France and the Fourth Reich.
Europe will be divided.
Poland repartitioned in the process.
Northern Ireland will separate from the UK
and join the Republic of Ireland.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
Civil war will break out in the United States,
California and Texas becoming independent states.
As a result, Texas and Mexico will form an allied state.
Elon Musk will win the presidential election
in a number of states,
which after the new civil war ends
will have been given to the GOP.
I'm going to stop the accent because I'm not enjoying it.
All the largest stock markets.
Sound like Dracula.
Yeah, well, it's just going on too long.
All the largest stock markets. Sound like Dracula. Yeah. Well, it's just going on too long. All the largest stock markets and financial activity will leave the U.S. and Europe.
Well, it's better in the accent.
All the largest stock markets and financial activity will leave the U.S. and Europe and
move to Asia.
The Britain would system of monetary management will collapse, leading to the IMF and the World Bank
crash. Euro
and dollar will stop circulating
as the global reserve currency
digital fiat
currencies will be actively used
instead. Season's
greetings to
you all Anglo-Saxon
friends and their happily
oinking piglets.
Jesus Christ.
Is
Russia still communist?
Yeah!
Dude, their happily oinkling
piglets.
Calling us greedy little capitalists.
Dude.
This is wild.
He put a couple of bets on the table
He put it through
He fucking put his
He got on the BetMGM app
And threw some fucking money
Threw some money on the collapse of the West
He might be right about one or two things
Hey look
He believes in his fucking team
Yeah
He believes in his squad
Yep
Respect that man
Respect that fucking loyalty
Plus he doesn't want to fall out of a fucking window
i respect you dimitri he went hard though he went hard i mean that is going hard i mean that
sounded like the next premise of the call of duty games now the reason why we're bringing it up is
because elon musk tweeted under it to it at him. Epic tweet,
epic thread,
epic thread, and then left it alone and left it alone for four hours until he came back
after a lot of people pointing it out that it's a little wild.
The owner of Twitter and is he an American citizen I believe
he is must be yeah he forgot to put a little lol on the end he forgot to put a little lol
it still is weird choice to I mean I'm just gonna be honest it is a weird choice to just put epic
thread epic is now even if he's being sarcastic it's still it's still that social media persona of elon musk
taken over i'll give him the benefit of the doubt let's say he was trolling by going epic thread
not responsible
you're not a jester dog you're not known for your trolls. You're known for Tesla and its stock price.
So here you have a communist fucking government,
Russian fucking representative of Putin
and that autocracy, which invaded Ukraine,
who we're currently backing,
tweeting basically death to America,
and you just throw out their epic thread.
And then, I guess, go back to, you know,
I don't know, you know, go back to your fucking,
where are you in Texas?
Go back to your barbecue meal.
And while you were gone, I mean, people just lit up.
And then he comes back four hours later to try to do some damage control.
And this is how you know he knows he fucked up.
Because he came back four hours later and he goes,
those are definitely the most absurd predictions I've ever heard.
While also showing astonishing lack of awareness of the progress of artificial intelligence
and sustainable energy.
What?
I don't even know what that means, first off.
But then someone said,
someone goes,
I feel bad for all the libs
who didn't get that this was a troll.
And then he wrote LOL with like a smiley face or whatever.
So,
I don't know, man.
It's 2022.
I'm confused.
I'm confused.
Are the vaccines bad for you?
Are they good?
There's a lot of people who have bad side effects.
You can't ignore all those.
You know?
Now, are they bad across the board?
Probably not.
Are they bad for like young people to get? Maybe they are they bad across the board? Probably not. Are they bad for, like, young people to get?
Maybe they are.
Like, maybe, like, why would,
if you're going to get infected anyway,
like, you know, maybe, maybe, you know,
you got to say they were wrong about some stuff.
Maybe.
Maybe it becomes a thing where it's like,
hey, man, if you have risk factors, you take it.
I don't know.
Is anyone behind the wheel?
And does any, is there any place where you can go and get, like, if you have risk factors, you take it? I don't know. Is anyone behind the wheel? And is there any place where you can go
and get like the full story of anything
besides the Giannis Papas hour?
Yeah, right here.
Where you get it.
I mean, this is a New Year's episode
and I just want to say I'm confused
and I just want to say good luck to everybody.
And my prediction is that this will continue.
I think 2023 is going to be the most confusing year in human history.
I don't think there's any way in 2023 to know what anything is.
I think the best bet is to just form some beliefs and just stick to them.
Whatever works for you is the best way to go in 2023.
There is no one to look up to anymore.
There are no authorities.
Every people used to love Elon Musk.
And now you're like,
whoa,
even the people that love and respect him are going,
Elon,
stop. Stay in one lane, dog. Just stay in one lane. Yeah. Elon Musk and now you're like whoa even the people that love and respect him are going Elon stop but he won't
even the people that love and respect
him are going stop it stop it stop stop
stop and he won't and he will not
so
he's been torn down as sort of like
this beacon of hope
and light for you know
a clean energy future
future
I've been torn down and light for, you know, a clean energy future.
I've been torn down as a respectable source for your weekly news by our new honest segment of editorial retractions
in the comments every episode.
I'm not an authority.
There are no, George Santos isn't a real person.
Okay, elections, who knows?
Donald Trump's selling NFTs.
Joe Biden's still alive.
There's a lot of surprising things that are happening.
His son's laptop, his son's laptop is still out there in the ether. I think that's what we believe in
in the future is just Hunter Biden's laptop.
That's my God.
That's who I'm going to worship.
And that's what I believe in.
I believe in the laptop.
The laptop will set us free.
Once we know what's in that laptop,
it's like the top level of Scientology.
We need something to believe in that's not really there,
but we all believe in it is there.
And so what's in Hunter Biden's laptop is all the corrupt things
of every corrupt person ever,
and also the secret to life,
and also the answer to whether there is a God,
if there are aliens, and what the answer to whether there is a God, if there are aliens,
and what George Santos' real name is.
Happy, happy, happy new year,
and we'll see you in 2023.
And remember, if you can believe it,
not only can you achieve it,
but it's true.
Guys, want to give an end of the year special shout out to Brooklyn Cannery.
BrooklynCannery.com.
Get your healthy sodas.
Use Giannis Pappas as the promo code for 15% off your order.
Get a couple of cases for the house, and they're delicious and good for you.
Well, better for you.
Also want to give a shout out, of course, to Longshore Coffee.
Longshorecoffee.com.
Promo code Fumes.
Great coffee.
Get it shipped right to your house.
I got a new box for you, actually.
Some just came.
Oh, from what?
From Longshore.
Ooh.
I forgot to bring it.
Maybe I'll give you a ride home and pick it up.
Appreciate you, Stephen Miller.
Doing good work.
Go get some coffee.
It's absolutely delicious.
It's what I drink, to be honest with you.
natelinder.com.
Go check him out for your social media consultations.
We got three spots left open right now.
So if you want to promote yourself or your business or whatever, join up.
But for now, go to natelinder.com,
and he will help you fucking get your social media straight.
Monetize, marketing, all that.
Chris Minetti down there in Philly, South Jersey, 215-750-3730.
No website.
Just give him a call.
Get your check cashed at Minetti Financial Services.
There is no address. Just call him a call. Get your check cashed at Minetti Financial Services. There is no address.
Just call him.
ForTheFree.art, you know what it is.
Hawaii bands, music, free shows, local artists,
an absolutely cool website.
I like going on there and listening to bands
I've never heard of that are from Hawaii.
Hats off to Aaron Leaf for promoting uh, you know, promoting, uh,
music in Hawaii. And of course our new guy,
who I assume won't be with us that long manly girly studios,
the home of four hilarious podcasts, go to manly girly.com.
Check out their podcasts, thought provoking, hilarious, unscripted comedy.
There are four shows, the rough, uh, the and the Rough, Asada Fries, Casa de Thinking,
and The Manly Girly Show, their flagship show.
Great names, by the way, for your podcast.
We checked them out.
And I'll say we checked them out.
Then we got, of course, ExclusiveAutoshipping.com.
You bought a car out of state.
You want it shipped.
You're moving.
They'll move the wheels for you.
Free quote.
Give our boy Jared a call.
Jared Zatowski is his name.
And very, very good company.
They'll move your car for you.
So just get a free quote for them.
And a shout out. Happy New Year to all you you. So just get a free quote for them. And a shout out.
Happy New Year to all you guys.
Appreciate you guys being small business shout outs.
Patreon.com slash Yanni Longdays for your weekly bonus episode.
You know, if you want more,
if you want more after you're done watching the regular episode,
that's a great way to get more, obviously.
And it's five bucks a month.
It's worth it.
We'll see you in 2023.
It's been a long day.