Yannis Pappas Hour - Toured “Together” w/ Louis CK & Joe List

Episode Date: July 12, 2022

Small time director Louie CK and big time movie star Joe List are in Bay Ridge, BK for a long day. They even ate lunch at Vesuvios on 3rd ave. First things first, a whole bunch of new theaters in vari...ous cities have been added for showings of their movie Fourth of July. To see if it’s playing near you go to https://louisck.com/pages/fourth-of-july-screenings or you can use the fandango ap! Yanni & Jesse watched the movie and absolutely loved it. Also, watch Joe’s new free special here: https://youtu.be/0MOGB0nBHpg and Louie’s comedy specials on his own website. The guys talk about their movie Fourth of July, comedy, touring together with “co-headliner” Joe List and much, much, more! Joe List was excellent in this movie and his stand up comedy is superb. He’s also one of the best guys in the scene. Louie is the actual GOAT. This one is special, enjoy!SponsorsButcher boxhttps://www.butcherbox.com/fumes/?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=offline&utm_campaign=BFL_10OFF_JUL_2022&utm_term=fumes&utm_content=Express vpnhttps://www.expressvpn.com/fumes Yannis Pappas is just a comedian that dares to go where others won’t. He’s a delicious maniac and this is his weekly show. His new comedy special can be viewed for free on YouTube here: https://youtu.be/ArlCFemEDvQSubscribe to our clips page for podcast highlights here: https://youtube.com/channel/UCfMy34qIYYy7XiRaHKO1ykwThe show goes out every Saturday. Come join in on the LONG DAY & Follow Yannis PappasInstagram - https://www.instagram.com/yannispappas/Twitter - https://twitter.com/yannispappas Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Down is Bob's. Yeah. Here we go. When you all tucked up in the neighborhood. And the news online going on and on. What's lying wrong? And there's something up. Now here comes a great kid you know you can trust.
Starting point is 00:00:14 From the truth. To the news and cameras. To the fake politics. And the propaganda. Get his kids screwed in. Got a lot to say. Ah, shit. It's about to be a long day.
Starting point is 00:00:24 It's a long day. It's a long day. It's a long day. Don't say **** in that place. You can yell it in this neighborhood, no problem. You can walk around going, ****. Hey, Louis. I **** love you, cuz. There's like 12 noodles in that bag if you want 12 noodles.
Starting point is 00:00:41 Oh, thank you. Rigatoni. I only take 14 noodles. I don't take 12. We're going to have to do a 10-minute podcast. I can't sit like this. This is atrocious. Are we live? You can sit on Louie's lap if you want. That's how I got the gig.
Starting point is 00:00:54 Yeah, I mean, I'm just you know, I'll just go erect. We can put you in a chair, but it's more uncomfortable. That's the problem. Oh, you mean that chair? Yeah, and you'll also be taller. No, this is great. This is perfect. You want to Yeah, and you'll also be taller than you guys are. This is great. It's not that uncomfortable. You want to sit here and I'll sit there? I don't mind.
Starting point is 00:01:09 We'll switch. I'll switch with you after a little bit. I don't believe you. Good reason. Alright, you ready? I thought we had it. Yeah, I mean, we were rolling. Were you rolling already? We were rolling. Oh, wow. So maybe we just got all that. Well, you got to bleep.
Starting point is 00:01:26 Oh. Uh-oh. Yeah. Which word is bad? Bleep? I'm going to say that's the Holy Trinity right there. Back in the day, we put bleep over bleep. The bleep was bleep.
Starting point is 00:01:40 Nobody liked bleep. We are bleeping this, right? No, we're in Bay Ridge. You know when you're on base? You ever play when you're on base're in Bay Ridge. Bay Ridge, you know when you're on bass? You ever play when you're on bass? When you're on Bay Ridge, you can say it. It's fine. It's totally, it's encouraged.
Starting point is 00:01:50 That's right. It's actually how the council people get. And this is only on Bay Ridge internet. This is Bay Ridge cable access. Yeah. They got their own ISP. They do. This is only going into people who still have antennas.
Starting point is 00:02:03 Yeah. Living rooms. Guys, I just started a movie. This is my chance. I know. This is only going into people who still have antennas. Yeah. Living rooms. Guys, I just started a movie. This is my chance. I know. This is ridiculous. I finally had a chance to make it. Joe, the world's changed, right?
Starting point is 00:02:12 You did a movie. It's 2022. You're in my old apartment, and we're doing a radio show. It's too late. Yeah, the world's changed. Live. You're the star of the movie, and you're sitting on an ottoman. This is brutal.
Starting point is 00:02:22 Is this what an ottoman is? Yes. Yeah, it's a Dutch art. It's for your feet. Hey. It's for your feet. Hey, and listen, I sent from overseas for that. I got that from Netherlands. Oh, no kidding.
Starting point is 00:02:31 Why did you do that? I saw it on the intranets, and I was like, it's nice because it had like the wooden table on top of it, and then I came and I was just like, this is just some dumb stuff.
Starting point is 00:02:39 Yeah, but we have those here, you know. I know. That's what it was stupid of me to do. We get a lot of those here. Yeah. I liked, you know, the old, I was very into feng shui and this place used to look like very woody wood wood arctic you know wood i think he's like woody woodpecker woody woodpecker woody wood
Starting point is 00:02:55 yeah it's like you know wood like old wood like very and then i just realized it just looked like a west elm so because that's where i got the rest of the stuff i got everything from west elm except for that that came from the net. I've gotten furniture from there. It's good. Have you really? Yeah. I have a coffee table that you just take the table like this when you want to eat.
Starting point is 00:03:10 Oh, I know that one. It comes right up to your chin. Yeah. You just eat while you watch TV. That's a good way as you get older because you can do applesauce soup right there. Yeah. Yeah, you can't eat stuff that you can't eat solid.
Starting point is 00:03:23 Yeah. I'm close. Yeah. So you guys made a't eat solid. Yeah. I'm close. Yeah, so you guys made a movie. This is incredible. I watched it. I told you I was having an anxiety attack while I watched it. This movie is about anxiety. This is kind of halfway through, it looks like.
Starting point is 00:03:36 Well, this is Jesse's watch. I watched it at home. Yeah. So I was watching it with him. Okay, it makes me feel because it did hurt my feelings for the folks at home. It's just pause in the middle, and I'm like, alright, that's like a half-assed effort. Yeah, they're walking back from the restaurant,
Starting point is 00:03:49 I got ten minutes, let's fucking peruse through this thing that they fucking slaved over during the pandemic. Did you shoot this during the pandemic? Oh yeah, big time. So was DePaulo like, fucking, if I see someone wearing a mask on this, I'm quitting this movie. He was like that, yes. But he did, but they were wearing wearing masks and he didn't quit.
Starting point is 00:04:06 He's a lot of talk, you know? Yeah. When the rubber hits the road, he's okay. Yeah, no, I like to tune in. I like to tune into a show when I just want to feel a little more liberal. You know, when I want to just be like, remind myself, like, I still have some empathy. I'll tune into that.
Starting point is 00:04:19 Yeah. Now, his lines, the f***ing his lines, did he put those in the script? Was he like, I got some suggestions? I'll take responsibility. Okay. Because you know him well. I mean, I used to be roommates with him, but no, that was for the character. He actually doesn't say that word
Starting point is 00:04:35 a bunch. Right. He doesn't really. He thinks it a lot and he says worse words. I was about to say that's low on the script. It's like saying freaking or something I don't know whatever but I wrote them because it was for the character it was important
Starting point is 00:04:49 yeah he's one of the funniest comics I've ever seen one of the best joke writers remember we saw him at Caroline's and you don't remember oh you were those were your drinking days
Starting point is 00:04:58 yeah yeah what did we do did we hang was I opening we hang yeah that was the night yeah we hang we got some toots
Starting point is 00:05:04 remember you got AIDS that night no I don't even remember I can't imagine you doing coke We hang? Was I opening? We hang. Yeah, that was at night. Yeah, we hang. We got some toots. Remember? You got AIDS that night. No, I don't even remember. I can't imagine you doing coke. No, I didn't do coke. I never did coke. We saw him at Caroline's and he almost got in a fight with someone in the crowd. The cops had to escort the person out. Are you a sober guy or are you a drinker?
Starting point is 00:05:21 No, I don't have a problem with it. I'm more of the obsessive mental illness. I can drink once still? No, I don't have a problem with it. Okay. I'm more of the obsessive mental illness. I don't have the... I can drink once in a while and I'm cool. Yeah, that's nice. I'm not a fucking gay guy like Joe. Yeah, no, you can't. You can't do what every man can do. Any man could
Starting point is 00:05:38 do that. I mean, I could. I would just shit all over the carpet like a puppy. Let me just say this right off the bat. You're a good actor, and I was surprised. I know you've been on a lot of big shows like Are You Goblin and shit like that. And I don't know what the Wawa twins told you, but if they didn't tell you that, you're a fucking great actor, dude.
Starting point is 00:05:59 Oh, thank you very much. I appreciate it. I mean, I was blown away by your acting. Oh, jeez. Like, you would have not got this shot if you were not friends with Louis. Nobody would ever know that you had great acting. No, not in a million years. Yeah. If I was casting this movie,
Starting point is 00:06:09 he wouldn't have played lead and he wouldn't have been in it. Who would you think you would have, like, if you were doing this with, like, a Hollywood studio? Timothee Chalamet. Fuck! That's exactly what he said.
Starting point is 00:06:21 That's what I've been suggesting. I don't, I agree. I don't mind. Somebody's going to see this. Yeah. I don suggesting. I don't. I agree. I don't mind. Somebody's going to see this. Yeah. I don't cotton to that fella. Okay. I think he rules.
Starting point is 00:06:31 I don't like his acting. So you're thinking more like Michael B. Jordan or? Yeah. That's what the studio's thinking. Yeah, that's what the studio's thinking. Give us a BIPOC, baby. I don't know. That's a good question.
Starting point is 00:06:43 Who would have played him? I mean, I'm from a different generation, so young people now. Yeah. Relatively, I mean, I'm 40. Yeah. Jake Gyllenhaal was on our list. Yeah, Jake Gyllenhaal. This could have been a great...
Starting point is 00:06:55 Jake Gyllenhaal, I could see him doing this. Or a great comeback movie for Ashton Kutcher. Just kind of like an indie where they go like, wow, this kid's not just the punk guy. He's got some fucking soul to him. Yeah. Yeah. This is like, so this is based on your story.
Starting point is 00:07:10 Yeah. You're kind of like a fucking mess who can't, you can't go into a diner and tell the people that that's the wrong order. No. Yeah. That's hard. I mean, it's funny. I was just at a baseball game yesterday and there was like a little kid.
Starting point is 00:07:22 He was like seven and he had to come down our aisle and then he tapped and was like can i go to the bathroom and i felt so much empathy for because i'm like i that's something i couldn't do as a kid or even an adult i would just hold on to my piss because i can't tap this guy and ask him to move no i mean the movie is it's about his anxiety and it's about anxiety in general and i I mean, it's the backdrop of it is anxiety. But, uh, then when we started working together, like we would, uh, like the wardrobe guy picked some clothes for him that were all wrong. And he said, I don't know what to do. Cause the clothes are not good. And I said, what did you say to him? He's like, well, I told him it's all great. And thank you. And I'm like, you need to tell him you don't like it. You're the producer. You're the writer
Starting point is 00:08:03 of the movie. He goes, I can't. Because what does he have to do? He has to go get other ones. I'm like, yes, that's how it works, Joe. So there's a lot of moments during the movie where I'm like, I am dealing with a severely anxious person in order to make a movie about his anxiety. But me trying to meet him with love. But I'm also much better.
Starting point is 00:08:24 I'm a much different person than when we met. Have you found me to be like overly anxious? Well, you're a fucking movie star now. He's gotten a lot better. He wants me to say he's gotten a lot better. I have gotten a lot better. I haven't had a panic attack in years. And I would argue recently you've had more anxiety than me, I would say, in the last six months. Do you think so?
Starting point is 00:08:41 Absolutely. Wow. Yeah, absolutely. It's a weird thing for you to say in front of friends if you haven't said that to me in a long time. Well, don't you think so? Absolutely. Wow. Yeah, absolutely. It's a weird thing for you to say in front of friends if you haven't said that to me in a long time. Well, don't you think? I feel like I'm not so anxious now. You've got this only...
Starting point is 00:08:51 I'm just sitting here. Look at this. He's 100% right. He has been more of like a calming... Thank you. He's been a calming influence. Why don't you be ashamed of your anxiety? What are you ashamed of it?
Starting point is 00:09:00 I'm not ashamed. I'm just saying I've improved. You want to acknowledge that you've improved. Of course. That makes sense. That's anxiety. That is anxiety. Don't they tell? They tell I'm not ashamed. I'm just saying I've improved. You want to acknowledge that you've improved. Of course. That makes sense. That's anxiety. Can't they tell I'm not as anxious anymore? That's ego, not anxiety.
Starting point is 00:09:11 No, he has grown up a lot, too, as a person. We toured together the first time. I was having trouble swallowing your cum. But then I added more to my diet. There was, you know, thinning, you know, tea tree oil.
Starting point is 00:09:28 I like the way he phrased that. We toured together. See, it's fucking big movie star now. I was like, oh, really? He's co-headlined? You and Louis? You guys toured together? You doing like a...
Starting point is 00:09:38 We were on tour together. Double-headed monster thing? Were we not on tour together at the same time? We were the kings of Irish or Jews. Are you Jews or Irish? I'm confused. Your name's Jeff. You're a Jew. You look like a Mick.
Starting point is 00:09:53 You're a Mick. You got a drinking problem. I'm not sure if you have a drinking problem. I don't. Is it Irish or Jew? I'm Irish-Jewish, both. I got Mexican, Irish, and Hungarian Jewish. Wow. I want to build a wall against you.
Starting point is 00:10:09 Yeah. It's too many immigrants. Too many waves of immigrants that we didn't want. I'm not Jewish, but when we went to Poland together, I was opening for him. I was doing a shorter amount of time in front of him. To be clear, I was on tour, and he was a support. He was paying for my flights to go to Poland. And we went to
Starting point is 00:10:29 Auschwitz and we went, there's a book with all the victims and there was several Joseph lists. And I've always felt connected to Jews because I'm neurotic and show business and Woody and Seinfeld. And I'm in the Holocaust book. So I might be. I don Holocaust book. So I might be.
Starting point is 00:10:46 I don't know. I just might be. He does have a nebbishy quality. Totally, yeah. You guys are both like Jewishy Irish guys, which is interesting. I think that's right. Yeah, that is interesting.
Starting point is 00:11:00 And I thought, like, is the character Jewish? Because the character's name is Jeff. That's a Jew name. Jeff is pretty Jew-y. We didn't do great work with the names, because Kevin is... Nick DiPaolo is so Italian, and his name is so Irish. We fucked up on the names. There's not an Italian in the world that would call their kid named Kevin.
Starting point is 00:11:15 No. There's not one. This is my fucking kid, Kevin. This is fucking Kevin. This is my other fucking son. Oh, Larry. It's interesting, this name. Like, Brendan is a name that only Irish people have.
Starting point is 00:11:29 Brendan is like an Irish name. Yeah. Isn't that interesting? Yeah. Jeff couldn't be Jewish, but there's many Jews that aren't Jeff. Yeah. But Brendan's are almost exclusively Irish. What makes you bring Brendan up?
Starting point is 00:11:40 Well, I'm just thinking a first name, Kevin, feels like an Irish person's name. You wouldn't have an Italian guy named Kevin. No, I suppose not. Nor Brendan. That's what we said before. If you need a Brendan, he's most likely Irish. Right. Your anxiety has gotten better. It could only go up when you're so agreeable that at one point a girl told you
Starting point is 00:11:57 that she actively had herpes and you continued to have sex with her because you felt bad. You didn't want to make her feel bad. Did you know that's the story of how he got herpes? That's how he got herpes. Yeah. I never heard the actual story of how he got herpes. I assume that he rubbed his penis against a herpes sore in a vagina of a lady.
Starting point is 00:12:15 That's a good guess. Yeah, you nailed it. Yeah, you nailed it. That's a part of it. But what happened before is a girl he really wanted to hook up with. Yeah. And at that point, he wasn't the big star that he is now, so he wasn't getting the amount of puss-puss that he is now.
Starting point is 00:12:27 But he's married, and so you blew it. Anyway, so he wanted this girl real bad. But she says, they're hooking up, they're in Boston, all you fucking people catch herpes. That's where we all came from. And she's like, I just need to tell you that before we do this, I have herpes. And he's like, that's cool. And you that, you know, before we do this, I have herpes. And, you know, and he's like, that's cool.
Starting point is 00:12:45 And he went in raw daddy. That's right. He's basically a commercial for don't drink. I'm a man. Yeah. I'm a fucking man. But that come from the booze or from anxiety of like not wanting to say, like the same thing that makes you go to another restaurant instead of asking your order to be corrected. Well, and now I would do that.
Starting point is 00:13:02 I've improved. Thank you, Alan. Thank you. Now you would say, I'm not fucking your dirty pussy, you herpetic whore. order to be corrected well and now i would do that i've improved thank you alan thank you now you would say i'm not fucking your dirty pussy you yeah your pedicure no she was i wasn't even that drunk it's just i had a thing for her and she told me after we were already like uh amorously involved and at that point i was like i'm not gonna not going to not have sex. And so I just went with it. And that's kind of fun to have herpes. What's the fun part?
Starting point is 00:13:29 Yeah. Well, you don't have to worry about herpes. It's like getting COVID. You're like, I got the antibodies. Yeah, once in a while it flares up. Yeah, it's not so bad. Yeah, you're actually the reason why I got into a relationship at that point. Because it was true.
Starting point is 00:13:43 The way he described the herpes outbreak was so frightening to a person who suffers with anxiety. You wanted to be monogamous to be safe. I just got into a relationship with another comedian and then she surpassed me and left. We all went to comics together.
Starting point is 00:14:00 What do you mean comics? You said like school. Comics. The club. We went there? With an ex. The one on 14th Street. Yes. With your girlfriend.
Starting point is 00:14:09 We did the show. We did a show. Yeah, it was the three of us. Who was the woman? Jessie Mae Peluso. Don't you remember? We all drove up together with her little dog. Who is that?
Starting point is 00:14:18 I never heard of that. Yeah, there you go. Well, she was on a show called Girl Code that kind of took off a little bit. I mean, not to, you know, take it off. You know, that's funny. He's like, yeah, she got a little big. Louie's like, what? I go, I don't see her.
Starting point is 00:14:32 Well, because the only people you do see are like Chris Rock, fucking a few others. You're in an orbit. You're in another orbit. We had a whole road trip together. You don't remember that? It's funny that you remember things and I don't remember things. It's not comics. I thought you were talking comics in this guy. You don't remember that? It's funny that you remember things and I don't remember things. Oh yeah, well it's not comics. I thought you were talking comics in New York.
Starting point is 00:14:46 You're talking about when we went. Oh, but the comics. Yes, yes, of course I remember, yes. It was comics at Foxwoods. We went to Foxwoods together. Yes, yes. You guys got in a fight because you were trying to have a threesome and you each thought the other one blew it.
Starting point is 00:14:54 Do you remember that? Can I tell that story? Yeah, I guess you can. With a guy or a woman? My wife's going to watch this one. Oh, this was a long time ago. It was a long time ago though. Long, long time ago.
Starting point is 00:15:02 This is 88. Yeah, we're driving. I wanted to hook up with this guy. No, it wasn't a guy. No, it was a joke. Oh, this was a long time ago. It's a long time ago, though. Long, long time ago. This is 88. I wanted to hook up with this guy. No, it wasn't a guy. No, it was a joke. It was another woman?
Starting point is 00:15:11 It was a woman. It was a woman. And yeah, and then Jesse, I think, went and I don't know if she wants us in here, but it's in. Oh, God. Take it all. I'm sorry. You guys were throwing the fucking racist epithets out there.
Starting point is 00:15:25 And I brought up a story like sex. But that's not hurting any specific person's feelings. As the great Rick Glassman says, edit it in. Add this all out. I'm sorry. Yeah, so the girl,
Starting point is 00:15:34 she went and talked to the girl and then something happened that didn't go good. Yeah, but I was like your son. I was drunk and you guys were arguing. I was like, boo. I had a couple come on to me
Starting point is 00:15:42 to have sex with the two of them. And then I said no and they got in a fight i was a young comic in boston and a very beautiful woman like just more beautiful than any woman i've spoken to since or before came up to me and said uh hey do you want to have a drink with me and i was like yeah and she goes you're really cute now I want to take you home like just redirect things and I was like yes and then we went to the bar and there was this guy waving and she said that's my husband and I
Starting point is 00:16:13 and she said anything we do he's going to be part of it and I said no I don't want to do that and I left and then they were outside of the place screaming at each other and he was going like well you're the one that wanted to fuck the comic and she's like but you told me to talk to him and they were screaming at each other because they blew it i have i have a couple friends who who uh who do it i love the personality of the guy who goes like yeah okay like the guy who like is like
Starting point is 00:16:40 so he's who's into that like yeah letting the husband watch like yeah i get it because he can only say it that way right she's like my husband's be a part of yeah it's okay you know it's got to be like yeah there's something in there where he's just like that that's fine with him that's part of his kink wait just watch yeah no the guy who's getting hit on the one who would say yes right yes i has that in him yeah like he's so charged up from the adrenaline rush. He just would say like, you could just hear the- Well, if you're on the road and you're horny or whatever, and if a woman's like, we're going to fuck, and he's like, great.
Starting point is 00:17:13 And she's like, but I'm going to have a steaming pile of shit in my hand the whole time. You're like, I can work around that. And she's like, we're going to go to the supermarket. You're going to go to jail after. I'm like, all good. All good. Let's just go. Let's go. Husband watch is not, it's going to go to jail after. I'm like, all good. All good. Let's just go. Let's go.
Starting point is 00:17:25 Husband watch is not bad. Whatever. Yeah. I don't care who's watching. Yeah. It would be weird if he's not jerking off. Yeah. That would be weird if the husband watches and doesn't.
Starting point is 00:17:34 I'd be fucking going like, are you going to? Like, you're just watching. It's a little weird, dude. Studying. Get in on this. I try to do a bit about it. It's always so weird to me, the idea of a threesome like that. And then once the guy leaves,
Starting point is 00:17:46 the conversation with the couple just being like, alright, we want to order some spaghetti? That's the weirdest part. Sexually, you get weird and dirty but the segueing back into I got to call my mom and whatever. Also, the couple's
Starting point is 00:18:02 arguing about blowing a threesome. It's like the conversation you have with yourself when you have a woman like ready to and you blow it. So it's two people sharing something that's usually one person. Right. That's usually a lot of self-talk but there's actually someone to project
Starting point is 00:18:18 that onto. Yeah. Going like, you blew it. No, you fucking blew it. Yeah. I just had the opportunity to play for a minor league baseball team for a night. I didn't play, but I dressed and took BP and I was on the squad. And then we won. They won. And we did the handshake line.
Starting point is 00:18:34 Baseball, everyone slaps. And I was going, good win. Good job. I don't want to fuck my wife. You're welcome to it. And there's a Latino catcher, the only Latino on the team. He was in front of me and he went like he did this way. The camera can't see. He went like that. And then the guy behind catcher, the only Latino on the team. He was in front of me, and he went like he did this way. The camera can't see. He went like that.
Starting point is 00:18:48 And then the guy behind me went, that guy will do it. He's serious. And I was like, oh, I had to be like, oh, I'm just kidding. But you could see everyone else laughed. And this one guy was like. Maybe he gets that sometimes. I think he might get that. Well, I mean, if you're going to get a bull, you want a Latino, I think.
Starting point is 00:19:01 Yes. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, for sure. Eight black. I get a white. One black. Yeah, definitely for sure if you want that. Because a white, I think. Yes, yeah, for sure. Yeah, for sure. You don't want a regular white. One black. Yeah, definitely for sure if you want that. Because a white, I can just do that.
Starting point is 00:19:11 You want an exotic. Slightly disappointing, yeah. Yeah. So this movie was like a strong rebuke of January 6th. That's what it's about. That's what it's about. That was it. Did I not read it to you?
Starting point is 00:19:25 We were watching the January 6th happen, that show, January 6th. And we were like, we got to do something about this. Yeah. But we can't come right at it. So let's couch it in. Let's bury it in a story. That's what I got out of it. But if you look really carefully, that's clearly what it's all about.
Starting point is 00:19:43 Yeah. I did just do a screening with a Q&A, and one of the guys asked. He's like, it's called Fourth of July. It's about independence. Of course. Is this a meditation on America's role in global? You can't make a movie anymore. You can't be a – they've got to find out what it's about.
Starting point is 00:19:59 Which way you vote, who do you hate. In any way, have you liked anything Trump's ever said, in any way have you liked anything Biden said. It's just part of the culture now. You can't just have a movie about an anxious guy who can't knock up his wife because her eggs are dried up and you wanted to and you're a former drinker and you hate your family
Starting point is 00:20:24 and you go home. This was kind of like meets the parents. It was a little Meet the Parents. I would say Meet the Parents. Ouch. Wow, that's a great movie. I know, I'm only kidding. Shit. I didn't like it much. You know though, there was an original Meet the Parents that I saw because Emo Phillips, very funny
Starting point is 00:20:39 comic. Yeah, of course. Emo is from somewhere outside of Chicago and there's these two filmmakers who made a very, very low-budget movie called Meet the Parents, and they showed it to Emo and asked him if he could help them get it distributed. He sent it to me, and I watched it. It was one of the funniest things I ever saw. Anyway, they ended up going to Ben Stiller,
Starting point is 00:21:01 and he said, well, I'll just make it again. So he just made it again. That's the story. But the original is, to me anyway, my taste, way funnier. Way funnier. It's really odd and strange and funny. But this movie isn't really...
Starting point is 00:21:16 I mean, that movie's like... It's like... Fuck. After Hours, but with a family. It's just a crazy K-hole of psychos. This movie is about people that you could see in the world. The characters are realistic. Is this a reflection of your family?
Starting point is 00:21:34 Did you get calls from your parents going, like, what the fuck? No, my parents... I love you, Joe. I'll give you a hug. Yeah, I'll give you a fucking hug. I'll give you a fucking hug, you quack fucker. No, but my parents have been very supportive. But it is similarities, I think, as a hug. Yeah, I'll give you a fucking hug. I'll give you a fucking hug, you quack fucker.
Starting point is 00:21:46 No, but my parents have been very supportive. But it is similarities. I think as a New York artist, alcoholic, sober, I do go on vacation with my family. He's anxious. So there's many things like that. But my mother's not. The mother in the movie is like a sociopath.
Starting point is 00:22:00 The mother really came from my head. She's like, because I grew up also around Boston and all the Boston women, I used to love the way they talked and so i made this woman who does her and they make little speeches where they tell you you know your routes you know i i one of the women that it came from was uh i drove a cab in boston for a while actually in newton and the cab uh it was a taxi with a you know you had a radio wait when was this? Back when I was like 18, 19. This was the 70s? 80s. 80s.
Starting point is 00:22:30 How old do you think the guy is? No, I'm just distracted by life. I'm not hurt by people like a Mulder. No, I'm just distracted by the white taxi driver. You might have been the last one. You might have been the last one, man. Well, in Boston. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:44 Because when black people say they can't catch a cab It's racist I don't know if you can blame white people for that When's the last time you saw one of those It was a Martin Scorsese movie In New York Boston I don't know now But it was a radio cab
Starting point is 00:22:59 So they call you there was a dispatcher You're right there Joe You're in the seat of honor I'm like Tony Pena. Your leg falling asleep? No, no, I'm good. I'm good. Sorry, what were you saying?
Starting point is 00:23:10 I almost fell off my stump. I'm ready now. Do you want to switch right now? No, no, no. You don't want to switch. You won't last five minutes. No, you sit. You're not going to be able to sit.
Starting point is 00:23:22 I want to finish my fucking cab story. I don't think you can contort that way. You're not going to be able to sit here. want to finish my fucking cab story. I don't think you can contort that way. You're not going to be able to sit here. You'll be crippled. The problem with it The problem was that it's not high enough for this kind of thing. That's why it's an ottoman, not a chair.
Starting point is 00:23:39 Because you can't drop your legs down. You're like this. You're squatting, but you're not quite squatting. It's horrible. I agree. It's the worst. No, this is no good for you. This is a fucking nightmare.
Starting point is 00:23:55 You guys are such assholes. I'll switch back. No, you stay where you are. I don't mind being higher than you, though. What's wrong with higher up? Let me sit in there I'm the host Be careful with that wig
Starting point is 00:24:09 I made a lot of money on that wig And it's like 100 degrees in here Oh god the lighting There we go He's got a vision He's got a vision for it. All right. Unplug that shit.
Starting point is 00:24:28 I got it. I like it better off. You want it off? I don't care. Here we go. Oh, this is bad. Okay. It all started with you moving, not being happy.
Starting point is 00:24:38 I almost fell. There's people in this country that don't have seats, Joe. I know. Oh, look at that. There it is. That's nice. That's nice. This is better for both of us. That's like getting a seat on the subway when you got a long ride.
Starting point is 00:24:50 Yeah. All right. Yeah. So you're driving a taxi. 1978. 1978. Me and Peter Boyle. And the dispatcher was a lady
Starting point is 00:25:07 named Marion. Marion. And Marion lived, I never saw her out of it, in this little tiny booth. And she just filled it. She was like Jabba the Hutt. She must be dead, so it doesn't matter anymore. But she
Starting point is 00:25:23 filled it up with her body and this gray sweater and thick glasses and she was smoking Moors and just putting ashes and fucking cigarette butts everywhere and she had all these little pieces of paper and a microphone and she'd go, 20, go to Hartford
Starting point is 00:25:39 Street and pick up a gentleman going to that Logan Airport and then if you'd say to her something like, she'd say like, take 95 and go, why do you want me to take the highway? Yours is not to wonder why, yours is to do or die, like that kind of thing. She would say, sing songy things to don't get your druthers in a bunch because here come, you know, just all that. So I love ladies like that my whole life.
Starting point is 00:26:04 So that's, his mother came from that. That's such a New England woman too. They're like so like caustic and like confident. Yeah. In like a very unflattering way. Yeah, Brooklyn has nothing like that. Yeah. There's no dominating mothers with bad accents.
Starting point is 00:26:20 They're very, they're very elegant and quiet. Very similar. You're right. It's just a different sound, but it is the same exact kind of woman. Yeah, same type of woman that working class kind of fought. Yeah, I fought. Fucking let's watch a show. And I was working there,
Starting point is 00:26:34 and at one point I got a job at some TV place, and I quit. And she said, where are you going to go now? And I said, I got a job in television. She goes, you're not going nowhere in television. She was just like, you're not never going nowhere You'll be back here That's the kind of person she was And that's also very Boston
Starting point is 00:26:52 Is everybody needs to stay lower middle Actually one weekend at Laugh Boston One of the critiques I got from someone in the crowd Was that my sneakers were too nice And he said it to me earnestly. And I laughed when he said it. That's that Boston thing where they don't smile back. I'm going, you must be joking.
Starting point is 00:27:10 And he's going, no. He was like, the reason the show went bad is you can't dress like that. Your sneakers are too nice. He thought you were putting on airs. Yes. That's a true story. I was like, what?
Starting point is 00:27:25 I was confused by it. No, I've always felt that way with comedy. It's like if you dress too nice, they're going to be like, what's going on here? The fuck is this? That's funny because Jerry Seinfeld, the first time I opened for him, he gave me the precise opposite advice. Yeah. Because I was his Boston kid and he was from Long Island. He didn't have Seinfeld yet, but he was already headlining everywhere.
Starting point is 00:27:44 So I opened for him and then we went to dinner and I said, do you have any advice? And he said, get some shoes. What are you doing? Because I had just shitty white, you know, dirty sneakers. Get some new shoes. It's the only thing. What you're wearing is the only thing you have to buy. Yeah. It's funny how
Starting point is 00:28:00 our mores are kind of reflections of our era more than anything, right? I don't know. I'm not sure what mores are kind of reflections of our era more than anything, right? Because if someone said that. I don't know. I'm not sure what mores are. You know, like customs or like, you know. You mean of the time. Of the time, yeah.
Starting point is 00:28:12 More than the place, maybe. Right. Like, because he's from an era where it's like, it's a show. Put some on. Dress up. Yeah. Like, someone said, like, if I said that, if you said that to your opener, like, hey, man, the fuck you doing those.
Starting point is 00:28:22 Yeah, why don't you just button it up. Yeah. Why don't you wear the tuxedo? They'd be like, Jesus Christ. This guy's out of it. That would be fun to do to a comic that's opening for you. That would be fun. I require that you dress up.
Starting point is 00:28:34 Nick DePaul and I had an idea years ago when we were touring together. He had an idea that because we would go to the mall all the time. All the comic clubs are in malls. And it was kind of a funny idea for like a web show where each comedian picks out the other comedian's outfit for that night, but you can't go too harsh because he's picking your outfit. That's funny. It was a pretty funny idea,
Starting point is 00:28:54 because what I would do all day was walk around going, what if you wore this tonight? Yeah. Which we still do. Sure. It's still detaining. Imagine if I wore this tonight. Nick had a great description,
Starting point is 00:29:03 very poetic of what the road is like. Like he told me this is a day on the road. You wake up. Sometimes the woman you fucked is still in the room. Also a long time ago. Yes. And she wakes up, and you're wide awake, but you're pretending to be asleep. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:29:24 And she kind of, you know, ruffles you and stuff, and you're wide awake, but you're pretending to be asleep. Yeah. And she kind of, you know, ruffles you and stuff, and you're wide awake, wide awake. And then she finally gets dressed and sits on the bed looking at you for a while, and then you go, hey. And she goes, hi, I guess I'm going to go. Oh, no, no, you want to get breakfast or something? And she goes, no, you don't have to. And he goes, okay, good night.
Starting point is 00:29:44 And then the sound of the, of that metal door in a hotel that click is like the greatest. Like Ferris Bueller. Yeah. It's like your mom left. She bought it. She bought your fake six story and you get to, and you're like,
Starting point is 00:30:02 watch cable and get room service breakfast so but his story of the day was like you go to the mall you get a frozen yogurt you buy it maybe a hat at lids and you walk around you just and and then you watch three maybe two movies in the movie theater you go to back to your place get dinner and then you go at nine at night you go to the club the club owner says how you doing you go i'm all right you realize you just spoke to the first person and it's very true that's your first first conversation is just that yeah that is just do your fucking show yeah i mean it's not a glamorous life no but i think if you use it right it's what makes comics good because your life should be that vacant.
Starting point is 00:30:45 That's why I think phones have hurt comedy. And I think a pot is not good for comedians because you need to be living that tediously. What did you say? Pots? Pot. Pot. Oh, pot. Marijuana.
Starting point is 00:30:57 Wow. Pot. Yeah. Pot. Talk about errors. I'm a very old man. You guys want to smoke some pot? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:01 Some grass. Some grass. You guys got some grass here? I got some marijuana. man. You guys want to smoke some pop? Yeah, some grass. You guys got some grass here? I got some marijuana. Yeah. Some shit. But if you spend that kind of empty day when you get on stage, it's all you got, so you put more into it, I think, a little bit.
Starting point is 00:31:14 You're probably right, yeah. Because, like, yeah, you couldn't, like, have a rock star day and then, like, yeah, because then that way your show is the best thing that's happening. It's the best thing that's happening. That should always be the case. And now that you have the whole cornucopia of the world on your hand of the internet, it's just too much
Starting point is 00:31:30 to stimulate yourself with and sit there and get angry at 50 different politicians and stuff. It's just a waste of your brain. And by the time you get on stage, you're exhausted. So what's the solution? How do we kill Bill Gates? How do we stop it? Do we turn the internet off? Do we let Chinese take over? What do we like, do we kill Bill Gates? How do we stop it? Do we turn the internet off?
Starting point is 00:31:45 Do we let Chinese take over? What do we do? That's ironic though because you're kind of a captain of the internet. You're kind of one of the first guys Second lieutenant. Yeah, you're a fucking second lieutenant in there. You're a lieutenant lollipop in there. And you put
Starting point is 00:32:04 your album on your website you put your album on your website. You put your shows on your website. You put somebody else's special on your website. Without the internet, I would have nothing now. I really would because that's my sole outlet for my work now. But even when you were on the come up, you were also. I was early on, early on. Which was amazing.
Starting point is 00:32:20 I always loved that about what you were doing. Oh, thanks. Because you kind of took control of your career in a sense. Well, it was a place that you didn't have to ask. You just put it up there. I always loved that about what you were doing. Oh, thanks. Because you kind of took control of your career in a sense. Well, it was a place that you didn't have to ask. You just put it up there. I liked that. And you could go direct to people. And I still think that's what's good about it.
Starting point is 00:32:32 I think there's great things about the internet. That's not what's bad. And there's no answer to how to fix it. Folks have to not look at their phone when they're trying to do something else. That's all. It's just self-control. And it's hard because it literally is dopamine addictive and stuff guys this wonderful episode of long days with louie and joe is brought to you by butcher box butcher box is the best this is an absolute no-brainer
Starting point is 00:32:57 like i say every time do you hate going to the supermarket all the time, getting meats. You know what? This cuts a lot of time at the supermarket. You have the meats delivered straight to you. Organically raised, ethically raised, no antibiotics, no hormones. High quality meats delivered right to your door in a beautiful, like, professional frozen package. Guess what? Unbeatable value. Less than $6 per meal on average. Absolutely delicious. Get your favorite cuts of meat. It's incredible. The one we got was like lobster,
Starting point is 00:33:38 steaks, burgers, chicken, pork chops, whatever, if you like a protein with your meal for dinner and lunch, go to ButcherBox. The quality is better and it's more convenient. It's a no-brainer. So go to butcherbox.com slash fumes. Use the promo code fumes to get one pack of free bacon in every box for the life of your membership, plus $10 off your first order. Ooh, this is what you call a recession
Starting point is 00:34:05 special right here. They are giving it away. That's butcherbox.com slash fumes. Don't forget to use the promo code fumes to claim this incredible deal. Guys, you cannot be surfing the internet anymore without a VPN. You got to stop these people from tracking you, from trying to get your information, from trying to find out what you're doing to stop these people from tracking you, from trying to get your information, from trying to find out what you're doing, to what little naughty nude pictures you're looking at. Whatever it is, you have to have a VPN. ExpressVPN is the best in the business.
Starting point is 00:34:38 ExpressVPN. They have almost 100 different server locations, so you can gain access to thousands of new shows. They let you change your location online. That's another great thing with the VPN is you can access all these shows that are only available in certain countries because it scrambles where your location is. Right. So for those two reasons, I mean, you can't.
Starting point is 00:34:58 Do you have ExpressVPN? You got it. Jesse's got it. So it's like you can control where you want Netflix to think you're located. You know, because sometimes it'd be like not available in this country. Not anymore. And also, you're not being tracked. You don't want people following you, right?
Starting point is 00:35:13 So the blazing fast speeds, compatible with all your devices, phones, laptops, media consoles, smart TVs, encrypts your data. They've added the benefit of encrypting your data so you can browse the web securely. That's the point. So be smart. Stop paying full price for streaming services and only getting access to a fraction of their content. Get your money's worth.
Starting point is 00:35:37 Hide from all these trackers. ExpressVPN.com slash fumes right now. Don't forget to use my link. ExpressVPN.com, VPN.com slash fumes. Guess what you get? Extra three months for free. Baby, these are recession specials. Take them while they're hot.
Starting point is 00:36:00 ExpressVPN.com slash fumes. Get that three free months right now. You cannot continue to not have ExpressVPN.com slash fumes. Get that three free months right now. You cannot continue to not have ExpressVPN. This is a stamp of approval from Yanni Longdays. Gum sales have plummeted since iPhones because nobody's
Starting point is 00:36:17 staring down anymore. Is that right? Yeah, the line at CVS, everyone's looking at their phone, so gum and candy Oh, anything point of purchase is probably getting hurt. People are looking at Instagram and saying, I could use some gum. That's true. I think a lot of things.
Starting point is 00:36:32 Uno card games probably are hurting. I think also porn probably. I used to make that up right at the supermarket right by the door. It would be Trident and Desi Playboy. Good housekeeping magazine. A lot of things are getting hurt now. I still don't get how they're making a dollar because I haven't paid for it,
Starting point is 00:36:49 and I haven't paid for porn since I was a kid at this point. Ads, right? Yeah. Well, but I never... Do you see ads on the porn you watch? Just ads for other porn. Yeah. Yeah, exactly.
Starting point is 00:36:59 It's trying to get you out of sight. They must make money somehow. I think OnlyFans does well for them. Sure. But other than that, there's no porn stars anymore. They're not making the money that they used to back in the same thing with show business in some way. It's kind of kind of disinhibited. It is diluted
Starting point is 00:37:12 now, which is in a way kind of good. There's no big star that everybody loves. There's some that are carried over that they don't want to let go of. Justin Bieber is like 46 now? Yeah, he's like a man now. I mean, the fucking guy, he does not get unfamous. No.
Starting point is 00:37:27 And the Kardashians or whatever they're called, they stay at the same level because no one has come up behind him. There's been people for pockets of groups. Some folks love this. Some folks love that. Well, you know what it is? I think part of it, too, is it's like there's not an emphasis on quality anymore. It's just like recognition. So it's like if you have a lot of followers, you can what it is? I think part of it, too, is it's like there's not an emphasis on quality anymore. It's just like recognition.
Starting point is 00:37:46 So it's like if you have a lot of followers, you can't lose them. So they're always in your face. Because they could just do something on their phone. Hey, man, I'm going to sit here. And then they're like, oh, she's still there. It doesn't matter. Like, oh, I don't like watching. Nobody's going like, I don't like watching anymore because they only watched it for 10 seconds on the toilet anyway.
Starting point is 00:38:01 Well, yes. And also some people are famous because of their... They love their work and they put it out and folks love it, so it's incidental to their work. I mean, everybody wants to share their work. Nobody wants to make music and just keep it to themselves. Some people do. There's probably some guy out there making the best music in the
Starting point is 00:38:18 world and he won't let anybody hear it. Who knows? But some people do it as like a secondary thing. Like, alright, I do make this great music. I love my crap, but I also, so I'm famous and it's okay. Right. But then there's other people that really just want attention. The comedians also, there's comedians that just want people to see them and, and filmmakers
Starting point is 00:38:36 and actors. And when Twitter came along, you could see a lot of those people stopped working. They just became social media people. And they don't put work out anymore because they don't have to to get attention. As long as they're out there being talked about, they became... I mean, there was also shows like Paris Hilton,
Starting point is 00:38:56 all that stuff, where it was just like, I'm famous, so watch me instead of I'm famous because so now you're interested. That kind of started that, but there's a lot of people that went the other way. They did work that was admired, so they were famous. But then they went like, why am I doing this work? I'm famous.
Starting point is 00:39:14 And I can keep it up through being, you know, by saying things on Twitter, I guess. Right, right, right. No, that's very true. Because they want to be liked, you know. Yeah, no, it's very true. It's very true. It's taken precedence over, like, the work. It's more about, No, that's very true. Because they want to be liked. Yeah, no, it's very true. It's very true. It's taken precedence over the work. It's more about like...
Starting point is 00:39:29 For some people. Not all, of course. But a little bit for all of us because it's the best way to get out there now. So we've all kind of become our own publicists. We're all conscious of our brand. We're all throwing up crowd work clips. Pretty soon I'm just going to go on stage with a GoPro cam
Starting point is 00:39:44 and just be like, what's up, lady? Fuck you, fuck you. What do you got? And they're like, no, I just want to hear some jokes. Yeah, you hate me. Come on, come on. Tell me how you really feel. No, I feel that way sometimes where you're like,
Starting point is 00:39:54 you have to do the podcast. I really resent the podcast. I'm enjoying this very much. But you do such a large time on a podcast, and then you've got to email it and get the clips and post the clips and then ask your video guy to cut this and cut it at this moment and get the video. By the end of the day, at the end of the show, you're like, wait, when do I write? I didn't even have a moment to write.
Starting point is 00:40:12 Right, right. It's bad. It is. You have to do so much more. But on the flip side, we don't have to deal with all these people who say no because of this. Right. You know, they're not great at their job for the most part, right? I mean, what's their success rate?
Starting point is 00:40:25 10% on the stuff they pick? Well, they've been pushing lower than, much lower than that. Yeah, it's so low. Literally.
Starting point is 00:40:31 It always was. Yeah. And the industry's been pushing youth for 50 years. Yeah. And the, even though the country keeps saying we don't care about youth.
Starting point is 00:40:40 Yeah. No, and young people like older people. They like to watch older guys. It's fascinating to them. It's people who have gravel in their voice and who have been through some shit. Young people are just... I mean, I remember when I was a kid, I just was...
Starting point is 00:40:52 I loved guys that were like... I mean, we used to watch Fish. It was like a number one show. Did you ever watch Barney Miller? Barney Miller was great. Yeah. It was a beautiful show. He's a cop. And Abe Vigoda. He's perfect for us. Sal Tessio. Sal Tessio had a sitcom that he was a beautiful show. And Abe Vigoda. Sal Tessio. Sal Tessio had a sitcom
Starting point is 00:41:08 that he was the lead of when he was like 68. It's true. And I was a kid. I was like 12 and I loved watching it. But I think he was actually like 48 and looked 68. You're going to shit your pants. Richard Castellano,
Starting point is 00:41:24 Pete Clemenza 28 years old in The Godfather no shit get out of here he's not 28 but he was like he was like 44 look it up
Starting point is 00:41:32 he was like in his 40s that's crazy it's like when you find early 40s when you find out like that's the weird stuff when you find out like that just tells you
Starting point is 00:41:41 how much of a period of extended youth we're living in when you find out like Lafayette when he helped George Washington, was like 17. Yeah, yeah. And Alexander the Great was like 21 when he conquered the world.
Starting point is 00:41:50 You're like, what? Yes. And also people lived much shorter time then. So they had to get it done. They had to get it going. They had to get it going. Yeah. Get the actor's name.
Starting point is 00:42:00 Richard Castellano, I think. He's right there on the left. Played by. On the bottom right. Bottom right Castellano, I think. He's right there on the left, played by, on the bottom right. Bottom right. Oh, yeah. Born, now we've got to do this horrible math. They shot it in 71. Yeah. And he was
Starting point is 00:42:13 born, he was 55 when he died in 88. So what's 88 minus 55 minus 16? We don't do good math. Oh, the math is bad here. He's in his 30s. Yeah. 39. Yeah. He's my age. That's insane. He's literally in his 30s. Yeah. He's my age. That's insane.
Starting point is 00:42:28 He's 39. Pete Clemenza is the same age as I am right now. That's right. Yeah. People were just generally more mature back then. And also it was like the style to act more mature. And less healthy. Yes. You did reach where you couldn't wait to grow up. Yes. You wanted
Starting point is 00:42:44 to sound like a person. You wanted to sound like a person. You wanted to look like a man. You wanted a wallet and to get on the subway and catch a taxi. Yeah. Hey, cabbie, take me to blah, blah. I used to watch movies and go like, you can just walk in the streets? Yeah, yeah. And I couldn't wait to be like, I wanted to wear suits on stage when I was a kid.
Starting point is 00:43:01 I was like, I wanted to be a comedian in a suit like Lenny Bruce or somebody like that. Yeah. And then it wasn't cool by the time I got into it. But yeah, now people do want to seem younger now. It's almost reversed. Socrates says that. He warned us about it. He said, the end of democracy, the old start acting like the young,
Starting point is 00:43:18 the young start acting like the old, and then the next one that comes is the dictator. So get ready, Joel Osteen's coming. Yeah, we're all fucking going. It's going to be a hardcore right-wing dictator, and I can't wait. It's going to be fun. You think it's going to be right-wing? Oh, dude.
Starting point is 00:43:32 Religious right-wing. Because the backlash. Because they mean business. Right. They mobilize in silence. Well, the left's going out there. Will you hear what J.K. Rowling said? They're out there going like, we're going to gerrymander.
Starting point is 00:43:47 Right. And then we're going to cook these witches. Yeah. Yeah. They're quiet. Yeah, but they would have done. I mean, it's been a long time they haven't done that. They've been mobilizing.
Starting point is 00:43:56 Is that what you're thinking? What's the long? I mean, how? It's a long game. They're playing a long game. They're playing a very long game. I don't know. The problem with them is they believe what they're talking about.
Starting point is 00:44:04 They believe what they're talking about. Yeah. I think playing a very long game. I don't know. The problem with them is they believe what they're talking about. They believe what they're talking about. Yeah. I think that's a hindrance. You think so? Yeah. Because you need a lot of artifice and fakery, and you also need to be very cynical to really take over a country. You really need to be Willie, what's his name?
Starting point is 00:44:18 Willie Stark, you know? Lohman. Willie Lohman. Yeah. Death to salesmen. Willie Stark, all the king's men. That's what it's called. John Stark. Yeah. But you don't. Willie Stark, All the King's Men. That's what it's called. John Stark.
Starting point is 00:44:26 Yeah. But you don't think you need to be a, you need to be a bullshitter. You don't think they believe, like, you know. Hitler was full of shit. Hitler would lie.
Starting point is 00:44:32 Totally full of shit. Yeah. You have to, you have to know what people, you have to have this above look of like these, these, what these fucking knuckleheads want
Starting point is 00:44:39 and feed it to them. But if you really believe, you're going to get caught in all kinds of problems because you're just going to answer what you really think. God bless you. Movie star sneeze. Bottle it. Bottle it.
Starting point is 00:44:54 Put it in a bottle. That was a fake sneeze. That's how good I am at acting. I'm auditioning for my next role. A guy with allergies. It wasn't even real. Yeah, but they're hypocrites. A lot of the guys at the top I don't know if they fully believe it
Starting point is 00:45:06 no there's plenty of guys that don't yeah and they fuck everything that moves and they do whatever you know yeah
Starting point is 00:45:10 that's me mmhmm yeah the one that moves fuck anything that moves so you're gonna leave your wife now like what's the deal
Starting point is 00:45:17 what do you do from here now that you're I don't have it in me to leave her but I'm like I'm hoping for a death any kind of buying her flights car rides I'm encouraging her not to for a death. Any kind of buying her flights,
Starting point is 00:45:25 car rides. I'm encouraging her not to wear a seatbelt. You're just sending her to the store at three in the morning after you read the New York Post? It's a funny bit. I would never kill my wife, but I do hope she dies. You just keep putting her in dangerous situations? I would never do anything,
Starting point is 00:45:42 but I do hope. I got you a cruise. It's in September in the Caribbean. Honey, meet me at 4 a.m. in the Bronx. No, no, no, don't take an Uber. We can't afford it. No, it's fine. Trust me. And you just sit there and cross your fingers.
Starting point is 00:45:57 No, my wife's a movie star. She's in the movie. She's in the movie, plays his wife, and I think she's fantastic. Yeah. She's very realist, but she's got comic timing. This is the great combination of Sarah Tolomar as an actor. I just sort of muddled her name because I know what it is. Sarah Tolomar.
Starting point is 00:46:12 The great Sol Frato. Sarah Tolomar is that she does not have the vanity of an actor. Actors just have this, like, I'm doing a comedy, so I'm talking like this. The kind of actresses and what do you call it? All the Oceans movies? It's all good-looking people doing comedy like this. Now it's your turn. Now it's my turn.
Starting point is 00:46:34 It makes me sick to my stomach. She's just this person. She's just talking. She's very real. But she has wicked comic timing. She's a stand-up. So she's got really good fucking... She knows where it goes. And she's some of the biggest laughs in the movie. It's just little lines
Starting point is 00:46:51 from her. I love that line where she goes after the talk on the bed and she goes, don't tell people things and you shouldn't look through my... You shouldn't look at people's phones and you shouldn't ask them things. You shouldn't read people's emails and you shouldn't... You shouldn't read at people's phones and you shouldn't ask them things. Yeah, you shouldn't ask them things. You shouldn't read people's emails and you shouldn't.
Starting point is 00:47:07 Yeah, you shouldn't read texts and you shouldn't ask them things. You shouldn't read texts, yeah. It's funny because I saw that as a very sad line, but every time we've watched it, it's gotten a laugh. Yeah. It's funny. There's a lot of lines that we didn't think were going to be funny. Everyone can relate to that, I think.
Starting point is 00:47:19 Yeah. Yeah, it's her. It's very Sarah, that line. Right. It's very like understated. If you don't want to hear it, stay the fuck out of, you know. Yeah, and it's very funny when you say, don't tell people things is a funny thing to say. Yeah, it's her. It's very Sarah, that line. Right. It's very like... If you don't want to hear it, stay the fuck out of... Yeah. And it's very funny to say, don't tell people things is a funny thing to say.
Starting point is 00:47:28 Yeah, yeah. Let's not talk about this and it'll be fine, but you wanted me to talk about it and now here it is. You know, I want a baby. And so... So she's very good, yes. She's very good in it. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:47:40 And Joe... You liked it? You liked the film? I did. To be honest with you, I really did enjoy the movie. Thank Christ. I enjoyed it. I thought the film? I did. To be honest with you, I really did enjoy the movie. Thank Christ. I enjoyed it. I thought it was funny, heartfelt.
Starting point is 00:47:48 Me personally, I could relate to it because of the anxiety. This could become like the Rudy or like the St. Elmo's Flyer. Flyer? Flyer, yeah. St. Elmo's Flyer. It's about a bunch of hockey players that got herpes. This could be like, know For people with anxiety Who watch this and go like
Starting point is 00:48:06 It's a little comforting Like it's funny It's There's very funny moments There's heartfelt moments There's unintentionally funny moments Which are always good It's like now
Starting point is 00:48:15 When I watch Goodfellas I watch it as a comedy You know Oh yeah Yeah I don't think comedies are funny Yeah It's always just good movies
Starting point is 00:48:22 That are funny You know Yeah Yeah Goodfellas is as funny as the kids It's so funny I mean you don't think That the first watch But then now when I watch I watch it to laugh Yeah, it's always just good movies that are funny. Yeah. Yeah It's so funny I mean, you don't think that the first watch but then now when I watch I watch it to laugh and I laugh at Joe Pesci he's like the funniest thing in the it's just funny and there's scenes in casino that I have real Like watched over and over again because I was laughing so hard
Starting point is 00:48:40 Yeah, when he pushes his head down in the in the car over so what you do is you really want to pound that cutlet. Well, that and one of the great jokes ever we talk about all the time is when it's that tight shot on them, and he goes, well, they're having a good time, and it cuts out, and there's nobody near them, and they're miserable, and he goes, so are we. That and when she's flipping out, and she goes, I'm going to fucking kill you, and Pesci's going, okay.
Starting point is 00:49:04 Okay, be careful. Be careful. Be careful. And he's got this Midwestern accent a little bit. Okay, be careful. Okay. One of the lines in the movie that barreled me over where I really laughed was the one where they think,
Starting point is 00:49:19 and that was a funny moment, where they all think that you and your wife have broken up just because she's not there. And then the line from the other room where he goes, Jeff, you... Jeff and Beth. And he goes, don't let that cunt take a nickel.
Starting point is 00:49:36 That's right. And all three screenings we did in Chicago, Boston, and New York, that line got buried because everyone was laughing at it. Yeah, they were laughing at it. And then they didn't hear Tony. At home, when you're watching it, yeah, New York, that line got buried because everyone was laughing at it. Yeah, they were laughing at it. And then they didn't hear Tony. Yeah. At home, when you're watching it, yeah, you can catch.
Starting point is 00:49:49 They're both funny moments back to back. That was a funny scene. Oh, thank you. What at the end? Like at the end, it's one of those movies where like at the end, you're like, all right, so is everything okay? It doesn't seem like it's okay. No, it's not. It seems like Joe's accepted more things.
Starting point is 00:50:04 You can't spoil too much. They haven't's okay. No, it's not. It seems like Joe's accepted more things. You can't spoil too much. They haven't seen it. No, that's general. Well, when the bullet lands in the wall and then he finds... When you and the Black Lives Matter protester hug. Right. But yet, there's an unease. There's an unease.
Starting point is 00:50:20 Because he's holding his hips back because he doesn't want to get a boner. It's like a first camp dance. That's right. Yeah. Yeah, it's not a resolution at the end. Which is very Irish. Just like, nothing's okay. Oh, it's never going to work.
Starting point is 00:50:34 It's just going to keep being more misery. Yeah. Good old Irish goodbye. Yeah. Just like, hey, we're just kind of parting ways. Nothing's ever resolved. Nobody knows how to push things down like the Irish. If you really try to make something happen in your family,
Starting point is 00:50:48 like try to make a change, you end up making maybe a 1% difference, and the collateral damage is far too much. It was far worse. That's kind of the movie in a nutshell. Yeah, it is. And yet, you know, give it a try. You know, why not?
Starting point is 00:51:04 Yeah, and that's the comedy of it That he goes in there with these big intentions Yeah I always love movies like that One of my favorite movies is State of Grace Where he, like, do you remember that movie Sean Penn? Yeah, sure He's like, he goes in there thinking he could do this
Starting point is 00:51:17 But, you know, it all goes wrong And he's like, it's because you believe in State of Grace Like a state of angels Like, I believe I can go in there and do it And leave Jack out of it But it all goes It's funny how because you believe in state of grace, like a state of angels. Like, I believe I can go in there and do it and leave Jack out of it. But it all goes. It's funny how when you come in with these intentions, you don't think about the consequence. Like when you cheat on your wife, you don't think about, oh, fuck.
Starting point is 00:51:34 Now her parents are going to be mad at me. You know, her grandparents are going to be mad at me. That's not a good example. That's a terrible thing to do. That's what Mark DeMeo told me. But there's some things that you think are a good idea that are going to end up being a bad idea, you know? Well, sometimes you think getting in their seats.
Starting point is 00:51:50 Yeah, it's cheating your wife. No, I like this. This is all right with me. Yeah, it's one of the, where you just don't think about the consequences. Right, right. A better example would be like, if you decided you should tell your wife's sister what she said about her because you thought it would help somehow. Right.
Starting point is 00:52:03 You know what I mean? Right. You guys need to talk more, so I'm going to get in there and tell her what you said about her because you thought it would help somehow right you know what I mean right I just need to talk more so I'm gonna get in there and tell her what you said right and then as you end up as everything goes and it produces a lot of comedy it really produces that kind of it's like a big bang for comedy yeah yeah no you you go to the same therapist as I do yeah does he tell you cuz that's where he kept telling me to confront my parents does he tell you this he's the best shot out Alan he love you? Because that's where he kept telling me to confront my parents. Does he tell you this? He's the best.
Starting point is 00:52:25 Shout out, Alan. We love you, Alan. Alan is the greatest. I thought Joe was going to say, does he talk about me? Does he bring me up at all? No, he just brought you up today. He said, oh, Joe's a good person to go talk to because he lives with anxiety like you. Oh, that's nice.
Starting point is 00:52:39 He keeps telling me how much I've improved. You guys don't recognize it. No, you have totally improved. Dude, like I said, you fucking got herpes because of anxiety. I mean, you've improved. Yeah. You guys don't recognize it. No, you have totally improved. Dude, like I said, you fucking got herpes because of anxiety. I mean, you've improved. You've improved in every way. Comic, you fucking, Louis C.K. directed a movie you starred in.
Starting point is 00:52:53 You said fucking Louis C.K.? Yeah, I mean, what the fuck? I mean, you're still questioning whether you've improved? I mean, you're in this fucking great studio. He's not questioning, he just wants us to recognize. Yeah, because his parents didn't. That's right. That's why he needs to hear from people. Yeah, but I'm not your dad. Wish to hell
Starting point is 00:53:10 you were. Neither was his dad. But does he tell you, say, you got to confront these folks? If your dad had to choose between you and a refill at the fridge of a Miller, what's he going to be. That was the choice. That's exactly what you want to do.
Starting point is 00:53:28 I'm going to fuck her again. I kind of want a beer. And then here's Joe. I remember we were doing shows together at Mohegan Sons. Me and you bonded and you told me all about your dad. And you said that your dad just doesn't say anything. Yes. And in the movie that comes, that is kind of, that was a reflection of your dad, right?
Starting point is 00:53:44 I am a dad and I've met his father. And his the movie that comes that is kind of, that was a reflection of your dad, right? I am a dad and I've met his father. And his father is awkward and his father's not sure what to say. And also Joe has gone to a different tribe of people. So he sounds different than he used to when he quit drinking. He quit drinking. They
Starting point is 00:54:00 all drink. And he moved to New York and he's in show business. Something that they can't touch with their minds, with their experience. They just say Joe's doing gay shit in New York. Yeah. Well, what does your father do? My father works for a hospital. He's like, does he like purchasing?
Starting point is 00:54:15 He like the buys a fucking man's job. Yeah. He buys like a gross of a gross of gowns for a hospital. Yes. And now his son is like a comedian on The Tonight Show and on, you know, all these things. Not HBO, never, never. But all these things. It doesn't matter anymore. And so he doesn't know how to approach it.
Starting point is 00:54:35 I think his parents just don't know what to say or how to approach it. It's not inside of there. And the two of them, I've sort of seen both sides of it, that they're caught, you know, he really wants the big payoff of all the work he's done to be them saying, we're so proud of you. And they're like, we don't know what to say exactly. And so from their point of view, he's a little nuts. And from his point of view, they're shitty. You may get it like on the deathbed.
Starting point is 00:54:59 Like I kind of got it from my dad at the deathbed, like when he was nine, he's like, I'm proud of you. And you know, it doesn't, it didn't, it didn't feel as good as I thought it was. In a feel. Yeah, we talked about that earlier. It's like, now, my parents, every once in a while, they'll say, they know, because I've brought it up a little bit and confronted them, not in the way we do in the movie, but in real life and going, yeah, I wish you had said.
Starting point is 00:55:18 And so then they'll text, text something like, good job and proud of you. Awesome. And I'm like this. Oh, you don't want to hear that. Awesome. And I'm like this, ugh. You don't want to hear that. Fucking weird. Because it's been too long. It's been 40 years. I'm like, what the hell? But my dad, he'll write something nice on it. I think it's hard for him.
Starting point is 00:55:34 And that's the real thing. In real life, I think recognizing that your problems come from your parents, it's learned behavior, upbringing, and then accepting it, minus the confrontation. Yeah, accepting it rather than trying to destroy it and go back and get retribution. Right.
Starting point is 00:55:49 That's nuts. But accepting it, and maybe part of that is telling them, I feel this way. Right. Like, I remember seeing a doc, not a documentary, it was a weird biopic of Michael Landon. Remember Michael Landon? Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:56:00 So Michael Landon. What's that? The painter? I'm thinking Michelangelo. Did you really just make that that or was that a joke? It was a joke. You were going for the joke, you saw no reaction, then you tried to switch, it wasn't a joke.
Starting point is 00:56:11 Yeah, it was pretty good. It was pretty good. There was a lot going on. If you weren't around comedians, you might have been able to get away with that. It was like you saw traffic in the tunnel and you were trying to back out. Like, I should have taken the bridge. That's right.
Starting point is 00:56:30 So Michael Landon's blowing you. Michael Landon was a biopic about, from the point of view of one of his sons. He had a few families, I think. Like, he got married, had kids, and he'd be a great father to little kids. But then when they got old, it got complicated. He'd just leave the family and go start again and so it's about his first son like wanting his father
Starting point is 00:56:50 to love him and his father keeps running away to other families and he's famous and so it's a horribly torture it's like a tv movie about and then towards the end he's dying a cancer father's dying of cancer and he comes in and he says dad I just want you to know that you were never a father to me, that you never made me feel like a son to you, and that there's a hole in my life because of what you did to me. And now that you're dying, I need you to say it. And Landon just looks tired because he's dying of cancer. And he goes, okay, kid, if that's what you need to say, then that's fine with me.
Starting point is 00:57:26 He just goes, go ahead. So that's what your father to say Then that's fine with me He just goes go ahead So that's what your father says In the deathbed What do you need to hear now Because I didn't want to go to sleep I want to go die I love you I always loved you Is that good Thank you very much
Starting point is 00:57:39 It's kind of what it is I think wanting something from your parent That's a complex I think wanting something from your parent, that's a complex thing. I think wanting your parents to be – your parents – the quality of your parents is who they are, who you grew up knowing. And I think when you're a kid, you want them to be somebody who makes you feel safe and teach you the basics. But when you're a grown-up, it's like they fucking did their jobs on some point. Like, I hope my kids stay friends with me, but they don't want to hear what I think of anything,
Starting point is 00:58:09 you know, and I tell them I'm proud of them. Right. But it's so weird. Also, your siblings, the families after adulthood, it's very strange, because none of these people chose to be with each other. Right.
Starting point is 00:58:21 You know? And as a parent, you have to, shit rolls downhill. They don't, your kids don't owe you anything. Right. It's what And as a parent, you have to, it's shit rolls downhill. They don't, your kids don't owe you anything. Right. It's what you owe them
Starting point is 00:58:27 and they don't want it. They don't want the things that you thought, I'm going to be there for them this way. They're like, no, no, no, that's not even close
Starting point is 00:58:33 to what I want from you. Right. What do you want? I'm not, figure it out. Right. Guess. Did your parents ever tell you
Starting point is 00:58:40 they were proud of you? Like, Louis, we proud of you. My mom all the time. We proud of you, Louis. Yeah. One of them was from Mexico. My mom. Louis Louis, we proud of you. My mom all the time. We proud of you, Louis. Yeah. One of them was from Mexico.
Starting point is 00:58:46 My mom. Louis, we so proud of you. My father's Mexican. And he would say things like, the first time I did Letterman, he called me, left on my machine, my answer machine at the time. He said, you hid very well
Starting point is 00:59:02 how nervous you obviously were. And I like a darker tie on you. A little criticism on top of it. My dad would do that. You could hardly tell that I was nervous. That's not a good, that's not nice. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:59:18 But yeah, he's an odd dude. Yeah, Mexicans have an odd sense of humor too. They like chicken costumes, like big, like... Well, that's on the... That's on the one show. Yeah, but they do... I worked for a Latin network once, and they love that shit. Yes, and television is ridiculous in Mexico.
Starting point is 00:59:38 Yeah, they do like... But Mexicans have a very funny, wry... They have a real wry sense of humor. They do. Very dry sarcasm. It was explained to me once by someone, I think, who was, sometimes they like to make jokes about you and you don't know that they're making jokes about you.
Starting point is 00:59:50 Yeah, there's a lot of layers to the humor in Mexico. Yeah. It's pretty brutal. So, Joe, how long did it take you to learn piano for this role? Just a couple hours. Piano's not that hard. Piano's a people course. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:00:04 Jazz piano's easy. hard. Piano's a passion, of course. Jazz piano's easy. Like classical. You look like the white guy in a jazz band, too. You know how it's always like the black guys and then the one, like, one of those guys a little nerdy, you know, and he just comes in. What is that? Those are nerds when you're growing up.
Starting point is 01:00:19 And then they also like, you know, they always like crank their nose. You want to go out with me? One of those guys. Yeah. So he looks like that. Thank you. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:00:29 He does. He does. I think we nailed it. I think I look like something. Yeah, he did pretty good. Meryl Streep watched the movie. She said, oh, my God, you play piano. Did Meryl Streep watch the movie?
Starting point is 01:00:38 Yeah, that's right. That's fucking nuts. That's the sound of Meryl, huh? Yeah. Blown away. By my performance. Wow. Blown away. By my performance. Wow. Blown away.
Starting point is 01:00:48 Blown. Dude, that's... I mean, fuck who's best? Angelica Houston. I mean... She's very good. Dude, Meryl Streep. So Meryl Streep watched the fucking movie?
Starting point is 01:00:57 Yeah. Big time. Wow. Yeah, she watched an early cut. Fuck, dude. I don't know how much we want to talk about it, but, you know. Fuck. She's my girlfriend.
Starting point is 01:01:04 The other day... No, I'm just kidding. Shit. I thought Sebastian Maniscalco saying I was funny was the top of it, but fucking Meryl Streep watched you act. But the other day, I kept her anonymous and he made fun of me. So this time I said it. Yes, I'm completely right. I can't win with you. Well, we weren't on
Starting point is 01:01:19 the podcast. Yes, we were. That was at the Beacon. I know, but that wasn't a podcast. It was recorded. I applaud you. You made a strong choice. You went for it. You're like, I'm going to tell the people about this fucking Meryl Streep shit. I thanked her in the credits. It doesn't matter. I know Meryl a little bit. We're not like close friends or anything, but she's a very nice person
Starting point is 01:01:35 and she's an extremely intelligent woman in terms of film and writing. She's the GOAT. And I'm her favorite actor. She knows everything. This is Joe's favorite actor. Yes, that's right. What did she say about the directing?
Starting point is 01:01:49 She actually said... Nada! Well, the reason I asked her to watch it is because I had her watch a film I made once and she gave me a very harsh criticism that was dead on. And it saved... The movie was not good before I showed it to her.
Starting point is 01:02:04 So I asked her to watch this one. And yeah, she loved Sarah. And Bill Sheft, she said, why isn't that guy famous? About Bill Sheft. And that's his first movie. And his last, probably. But, I mean, he's great.
Starting point is 01:02:20 He's great in the movie. But yeah, she's just really super smart. Now, Bobby Kelly's in the movie. Good friend of me. Good friend of Joe. Good friend of you, obviously. Love him to death. Did you have to pat him down more?
Starting point is 01:02:32 Like, how do you keep him dry? Oh, his sweat. Yeah. There's no reason to keep him dry. Let him sweat. He's a fat guy. He probably is sweating. Yeah, he's heavy.
Starting point is 01:02:40 He kind of looks like if Butterbean went to the library. Because of the glasses? You're worried about Merrill. He's going to hear this. He kind of looks like if Butterbean went to the library. Because of the glasses? You're worried about Merrill. He's going to hear this. He's going to be very scared. I just feel like if I'm walking in the library, I go, oh, there's Butterbean. He's reading. Wow, he's very sensitive.
Starting point is 01:02:54 Do you know who Butterbean is? I do know who Butterbean is. Okay, or King Kong. It's funny. I'm just not laughing because he's my friend. Well, he likes it. Not so much. He doesn't like those anymore?
Starting point is 01:03:04 What is he, gay? No. I don't think he ever likes it. Not so much. He doesn't like those anymore? What is he, gay? No. I don't think he ever loved it. He sold his show at the Beacon, at least. That's how he loves them. He's the greatest guy. The camera loves Robert Kelly. He's the greatest.
Starting point is 01:03:15 And he is a guy who looks, when he's saying a tough guy thing like this, he looks like he's going to cry the whole time he's talking. There's nobody, I can't think of somebody like him in movies. He's one of those guys that, you know, he's got a territory that's all his. He's got a lovable quality about him, like a lovable, he's
Starting point is 01:03:35 so lovable. Some people are likable, he's lovable. Yes, he is. He's got a magnetism too, like you just want to hang on, I hang on his words. Dude, have you ever seen him do stand-up? Like, have you ever seen someone kill? Yeah. I mean, he just crushes.
Starting point is 01:03:48 Rips it. I made a special with him for him that we went down to Florida and rented a place and shot a special that we're going to put on my website later in the year. That's awesome. So look out for that, too. The movie is great. It's called Fourth of July And we're after It's not the Fourth of July
Starting point is 01:04:07 Did you guys have plans to release it on the Fourth? Well we want to release it over that weekend and we did July 1st was Friday Or something Was it all the fireworks you guys hoped for? That's such a nice way to put it Because Fourth of July has fireworks And yes it was
Starting point is 01:04:24 Thank you Yan Yanis. Are you driving? It's a real sparkler. But we've got to get some plugs in because this is a huge week for us. Nobody's going to watch this far in. But July 12th, which is Tuesday,
Starting point is 01:04:41 is showing in like 70 theaters. Go see it. And for only the one night. We did this last week, AMC Theaters Tuesday, it's showing in like 70 theaters. Go see it. And for only the one night. Yeah. We did this last week. AMC Theaters gave us 50 theaters in one night, or 45, something like that.
Starting point is 01:04:57 And only one show, 730. And I was like, what is that? But you just pack that one night. Yeah. And all the shows that we did sold out and rolled over into more shows. And they had them in... We were in two or three theaters in some theaters. Yeah. Are you doing mostly promotion on the internet? Are you also doing
Starting point is 01:05:13 any gazettes? Any mainstream stuff? Yeah. I figured I'd go old school for that one. Oh. Gazette. You called it pot. You set the mood, babe. No, you're right. Gazette. We're hoping to make a lot of bread Yeah, I hope you guys really make some scratch on you, Shay We are in some gazettes
Starting point is 01:05:34 That's what you said at first, gazettes No, this is it right here This podcast This podcast is it We've done very little, really No, this is it right here. Yeah. This podcast. This podcast is it. We've done very little, really. Yeah. You send out YouTube videos and you send out emails on my email list.
Starting point is 01:05:52 And are you garbage? Are you garbage? We did. And I'm doing a lot of Insta stories. We did Ari Shafir's podcast. I enjoyed that. I'm just, I'm not just looking like. You know what they say about Ari? You don't know who your friends are until Kobe dies.
Starting point is 01:06:07 Oh, you mean for him? Oh, yeah, that was his test. Your friend Greg Hahn, you know Greg Hahn? Yeah, I watched some guy who I know really knows Ari well, and he was on a podcast talking about it, and he was like, and he kept saying, I don't really know Ari that well, you know, like I just don't know, I mean, I don't know,
Starting point is 01:06:24 I've heard of him. I'm like, I don't really know Ari that well. You know, like, I just don't know. I mean, I don't know. I've heard of him. I'm like, I think you guys are intimate friends. And he's like, because I was telling him. And it's because he called me. I don't know how he got my number. But it was pretty astonishing. Yeah, that's when you know. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:06:36 He looked at his phone. He was like, okay, nah, I figured. Okay, a few of those are surprising, some not. So the movie is showing tomorrow. No, Wednesday, Tuesday. Tuesday, July 12th. I'm the worst at this. July 12th.
Starting point is 01:06:48 July 12th, Tuesday at 730-ish. And I mean, the Irvine Spectrum in Irvine, right next to the Irvine Improv right there. Right there? Right there. Naples, somewhere in Naples. I'm just going to give the cities because I don't know. Can they get all the info from your website? Only right here. I decided that this is how I'm going to announce it.
Starting point is 01:07:07 This is the only way it's happening. Atlanta, San Francisco, Albany, fucking San Diego, fucking Dayton, Portland, Oregon, fucking Fresno, Hartford, Nashville, Honolulu. You can see it
Starting point is 01:07:24 in Honolulu. Honolulu. A lot of Irish families, Honolulu. You can see it in Honolulu. Honolulu. Yeah. A lot of Irish families in Honolulu. Elmira. Elmira. Elmira. Seattle, Portland again.
Starting point is 01:07:34 Las Vegas is playing in Vegas. Vegas, baby. Vegas. Indianapolis, Buffalo. A lot of shitholes. Greenville. Yeah. West Palm Beach, Birmingham. Tim.
Starting point is 01:07:46 Burlington. Plattsburgh. Portland. Auburn. Philadelphia. Hartford. Cleveland. Richmond.
Starting point is 01:07:52 Virginia. Tampa. Charlotte. I mean, all over the fucking place. All over. Tulsa. Oklahoma. I was saying, where's Tulsa? I was thinking, where's Tulsa?
Starting point is 01:08:00 Look. Farmingdale, New York. And there's a couple places you read there that if people don't go out, it's like, what are you doing in Tulsa? That's where they need it. That's where you need it. Cleveland. Yeah, if you go see, first of all, okay, let's say you go see the latest movie that you just saw a trailer for
Starting point is 01:08:15 last time you saw a movie. You already saw the movie. You saw the trailer. They told you the whole movie already. Or you can go see Thor and just sit there and just watch, let that wash over you. But this is a weird movie. This is a small, weird movie about real people, and there's some laughs in it.
Starting point is 01:08:30 And the whole theater laughs at the same time. That's what we've experienced. Yeah. That's a fun thing to be in. It's fun to be in a theater full of people laughing at a movie. And that's what this movie does. That's the best way to see it. It's the best way to consume.
Starting point is 01:08:41 And it's not an algorithm movie. It's not a Netflix movie. It's not a Netflix movie. It's not on Paramount Plus or any of these things. You're not being told by the internet that you like it. You need to go check it out. You may not. You may hate it. I picture the people
Starting point is 01:08:57 who are really going to love this movie are like if you're young in college or high school and you got a little brain. You're attracted to the girl who you're taking on a date because you guys are a little like, you bonded on your love for some philosopher or some book. Big tits, too. I picture it with big fucking tits.
Starting point is 01:09:17 Those are fun to come on. Your kids stay in school and come on tits. Now, we can cut this if you want to, but I got to ask because I shot my special in Madison at Comedy on State, and they told me you were there. I had a great time there. And there was, like, some protests. Yeah, there were.
Starting point is 01:09:33 Are you experiencing any of that bullshit with this? No, not at all. Good. I haven't had that for a while now. Good. Yeah. No, we've had just great crowds, and we did it today. We were at Cinema Village, where it's also playing.
Starting point is 01:09:44 Cinema Village on 12th Street and University. It's also held over at the Lemley. Every screening has been sold out, and they roll over. And I just want to emphasize it's done very well. But at Cinema Village, we had a crowd there. And we went up in front of them, and we advertised I would be there. And we just took questions. It's just all goodwill.
Starting point is 01:10:04 It's all folks that are curious or excited. It's mostly what you get, I'm sure. That's mostly what there is in the whole wide world. It's true. Most people are like, oh, I don't know. Are you okay? How are you? I don't know.
Starting point is 01:10:14 I don't know you. 99.9% of people are just living their lives. They figure you're you, they're them, and get on with it. And that's what I mostly encounter. And I go towards that. I think a lot of people go towards that little pinhole, that dark pinhole of shit and anger that they hope that there's an answer in there. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:10:34 And there's not. If that's your North Star, you're not going to get home. That's what I like to say. That's what people should do more of. Yeah, go towards the love. Go towards the light. Go towards the love. And that light is the Fourth of July movie starring
Starting point is 01:10:45 the great Joe List. That's right. Sarah Talamash, Bobby Kelly. Yes. Fucking Lynn Copless is in it. Yes. Louis C.K. as Alan, apparently. Paula Plum and Robert Walsh are the two people you don't know. Yes. My parents. Tara Pacheco.
Starting point is 01:11:02 Tara Pacheco's great. Everyone in it is really good. Alan Havy. Alan Havy is in there. Havy is so funny. Yeah. The black moment, there's a funny, that was funny too. The black moment in there. The black jokes.
Starting point is 01:11:13 Yeah. When she. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I don't want to give it away, but that was very funny. Let's just make sure people think it's definitely racist. Yeah, it's like totally racist. By just bringing it up. Yeah, I mean. The black moment.
Starting point is 01:11:22 Yeah, I mean, I couldn't believe the black moment. What about the Chinese moment? The Chinese moment was even crazier. And then... Muslim jokes? Yeah, what you said about the Muzzies was really top notch. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:11:33 We're not afraid of them. That's right. When you guys drew Muhammad and burned it, that was my favorite part of the movie. People are going to like it. Go to the theater. Go to Fandango
Starting point is 01:11:46 or go to louisck.com because you can buy the tickets right there. It has everything. Yeah, and find out where it's playing near you. Yeah. And if it's not playing near you,
Starting point is 01:11:54 we'd fucking try. People get mad at me. Like, hey, what the fuck? What's the deal? And I'm like, we're up against Thor, you asshole. We're trying.
Starting point is 01:12:01 It's all over Canada right now, too. I don't know if you have any Canadian fans. Doesn't seem like you would. No, there's some Canadians. Yeah. We could see definitely some Canadians. trying. It's all over Canada right now, too. I don't know if you have any Canadian fans. Doesn't seem like you would. No, there's some Canadians, yeah. We can see definitely some Canadians. Yeah, it's all over Toronto, Ottawa, and Winnipeg. All the big cities, minus Montreal. Edmonton, Winnipeg,
Starting point is 01:12:13 Calgary, Vancouver. Yeah, you got... This is a movie that's best seen in the theater. This is a movie I would prefer to see in the theater. That's what I think. I want people to see it in the theater. Go out and see it in the theater theater make a date night out of it with the day who's got the big tits and who likes you know fucking loves tits loves Mozart big fucking massive rockets yeah
Starting point is 01:12:38 yeah oh now we're talking yeah fucking her own tits with her own yeah that's what we're talking yes you get blown by your when i was a kid yeah that's the way to see a movie congratulations to you joe you're one of the greatest guys in the world thanks buddy you're one of the funniest guys in the world thank you you were so good in this it was like that that's what the comics are saying which is very funny that's what i kept seeing yeah i kept looking at the thing going it's fucking gregory peck gregory peck yeah honestly gregory peck had this you know restrained yeah Which is very funny. Gregory Peck. That's what I kept seeing. I kept looking at the thing going, that's fucking Gregory Peck. Gregory Peck. Yeah, honestly. Gregory Peck had this, you know, restrained. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:13:10 I'm not comfortable with that. Yeah. What? And very, you know, little moves. And that's what he is. Very uncomfortable, but he really, he listens incredibly well to the other person. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:13:21 I figured, okay, we're going to get through it with Joe. We're going to figure out how to you know, if you see a lot of editing in a movie, like a lot of cuts, sometimes it's because the lead actor stinks. And they kept having to get from one performance to the other. But
Starting point is 01:13:37 I was amazed. Like from the first day I'm looking in the screen, I'm like, I got nothing to say to him. I would only talk to him because he would get insecure if I said nothing. So I would remind him once in a while, if I'm not saying the screen. I'm like, I got nothing to say to him. I would only talk to him because he would get insecure if I said nothing. So I would remind him once in a while. If I'm not saying anything to you, it's because. Can you tell me my anxieties get better? Does he ask you every day?
Starting point is 01:13:53 What I'm not going to do is like avoid you because it's, oh, God, you stink. But I don't want to say it. So I'm just going to let the movie suck. Like I'm not even going to help you a little bit. So if you're getting talked to by a director a lot it's because not great. Not great. I mean sometimes you have an actor who's really good
Starting point is 01:14:11 and you like to take him around a few spins and see what they can do. I stayed away from Joe. I had very little to say to him because he was an automatic. He was just there and then I had to work on everybody. I had a lot of work with other people. Yeah, if he wasn't then you're up shit's creek. He's your star.
Starting point is 01:14:27 How did this come about? I'm very curious. What was the evolution of this? What was the impetus for this movie? How did it... You guys just sitting around or what? We really wanted to write a movie. We really wanted to both...
Starting point is 01:14:38 We both had a deep desire to get a movie made and I figured I had one pop in me to make one with my own cash I figured if we kept it simple enough I had I could put my house up and get a line of credit which how I did it well honest some debt and make it can we stay here yeah he fucking believes in you doggy fucking house my feeling with debt with with with betting money is that it's acceptable as long as you can accept a total loss that if you you can you need to expect that
Starting point is 01:15:11 you're not going to see a dime back and so i gamed it out if i don't make the money back then i just hit the road for a few years and get and make it back slowly right and don't do it again right if i could do that i decided i can this once. I can make a movie on my own dime at this stage of my career. This is my second time doing it. The last movie I made was also on my own dime. So was Horace and Pete. And those both, you know, well, Horace and Pete turned a profit, the other one, the
Starting point is 01:15:36 opposite. And so I figured I could just do it one more time. That wasn't, you know, that wasn't the movie's fault. No, it wasn't. It wasn't the movie's never been seen. But I had to buy it back. So it was like a lot of negative there financially. But so this one I figured I got just enough I could do
Starting point is 01:15:54 because I'd done a special the year before that did well. And I was about to do another special. And both of those made me enough to make a living and absorb. I know it's too much information, but I knew I could absorb the debt. No, it's good for people to know. But if the movie makes its money back, I don't need to make a profit on it. For me, if I just make the money back and get back to zero, I'll do that again. I'll continue to go down that much for a movie as long as I can keep doing it.
Starting point is 01:16:23 Because to me, I prefer doing it this way. I prefer the pressure of my own financial risk and possible loss to the pressure of other people's financial risk and how that interprets itself into you know, put the bigger dame in it with a big pits.
Starting point is 01:16:39 Where's the funny and why doesn't he fall in a pie on his face and all that shit. Where's the big stars and the shit that fall in a pie on his face? And all that shit that they, you know, where's the big stars? And the shit that, you know, it's too long or it's too short or whatever. That guy, I mean, those were back in the 50s. They talked like that. That seems like what we're doing now. How much did you pay Joe?
Starting point is 01:16:58 I mean, he's a bit of a partner in the movie because we wrote it together. So I'm the senior partner and I'm the financier. Okay. So how much did Joe pay you, actually? Yeah, well, I paid for the movie, so I get first money out and then I get the chunk, but then what's left for the artists is we split that
Starting point is 01:17:14 50-50. We're 50-50 partners in that term. That's awesome. The movie has no big Hollywood stars, but they're all very good. Everyone is good. There's not one person who's not good in the movie. Everybody's solid in the movie, and some people are stellar in moments,
Starting point is 01:17:28 and some throughout. And we got really, we were really, I'm not going to say we got lucky with the cast. I think we were smart with the cast. I think we cast well. Gail Keller, great casting director, cast it. Also cast my series. But Joe and I sat down and wrote this,
Starting point is 01:17:42 Equal Partners. It was very, I've never been. Just like when you tour. Yes, just like when we tour. I get it. You guys, I get it, dude. 145 minutes each. That's right, you close, sometimes I close, yeah, whatever.
Starting point is 01:17:55 I get it, man. But truly. Siegfried and Roy, it's more the show, less the guy. You don't know which one's bigger. Nobody's bigger than the, yeah. No, definitely. Yeah. That's incredible, man. This whole thing is incredible that you did it in this era that's incredible this is sort of
Starting point is 01:18:09 like a oh it was an era all right hi folks well just in this era of like marvel and like you know it's like it's great to see a heartfelt independent movie that's being released this way in theaters that you can go see live in your shitty town. There's not a lot to do. I'm sorry, but let's be honest. It's like 12. There was one screen our distributor guy called and said we have one showing on July 12th and the same night Thor has
Starting point is 01:18:35 20 screenings. It's 20 to 1. 20 to 1. So we're the only one that's not that. If you go to see a movie and you don't like Thor, you're kind of fucked. Yeah. Unless you go, well, this is this one. What is that shit?
Starting point is 01:18:49 Yeah. Who is it? Oh, it's that guy. All right. I don't know. It's great to watch. It was great to watch a movie that like, yeah, to emphasize it, that was kind of real. It was kind of like, it's been a while.
Starting point is 01:19:01 We're so inundated with like the Marvel stuff and big budget and you know big budget shows that are kind of sagas. It was nice to watch a movie where you're going like I'm that guy. That's my mom. My aunt. Yeah I know that. That's a scenario I've been in. This feels
Starting point is 01:19:19 like I'm there at a family gathering. I could feel how this family relates to each other. It's funny the way they greeted when they walked in, not to give things away. You're like, oh, that was a great choice, by the way. At the beginning, when he first gets there, that was one of those subtly hilarious things.
Starting point is 01:19:36 He's like, hey. Am I giving too much away? No, that's all right. When he walks back and then he sees there's someone coming that way, he's like, I guess I'll go. It was like a waiter showing up to work at a catering hall. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's so much smart stuff like that.
Starting point is 01:19:56 This is one of those movies, without a doubt, that is a multiple watcher. You can watch this more than once. I hope so. Yeah, this is one of those that you watch it more than once, you'd be like, I missed that, I missed that, that's in it. Because it's got heart in it. And usually the things with heart in it, there are those things that you miss because there's so much going on. Well, and also
Starting point is 01:20:14 when a movie makes you have feelings, you go, I can put that movie on and feel that again. Yeah. It's interesting. That's a great point, yeah. Rather than movies that are about technique, which is cool on its own to watch, I want to see how they did that again. Yeah. But if you can, like, I remember Todd Glass, you know Todd's a great point yeah you know rather than movies that are about technique which is cool in its own watch i want to see how they did that again yeah but if you can like i remember todd glass you know todd glass goes yeah todd glass says that he what he does it's a big therapy for him he puts on movies that make him cry and he gets on a treadmill and he walks fast
Starting point is 01:20:41 on a treadmill and just sobs, like loud sobbing at whatever Rudy or whatever fucking, you know, terms of endearment when she dies, you know. There's so many people who suffer from anxiety. There's so many people who it's like one of the most common I suffer from it, a panic disorder.
Starting point is 01:21:00 So that's why you know, particularly connected to it. I'm sure other people who suffer from anxiety, if you're anyone, it's the movie for you. But, like, if you're someone who suffers from anxiety or panic attacks or any of that or has any issues with their family or finds out that their issues are from their family,
Starting point is 01:21:18 which is all of us, which is everybody. It's the only thing that is as terrifying as true imminent danger. It's as scary as if someone was really trying to kill you. It's that bad, but nobody thinks it's true. And you have to pretend you're okay all the time. Yeah, it's the worst. Absolutely. No, it's terrible.
Starting point is 01:21:40 It's the worst. It's the old joke I did about panic attacks. So you just think you're going to die. And I'm like, yeah, I think I'm going to die. And instead of being dead, I'm sad and embarrassed at the worst. That's the old joke I did about panic attacks. So you just think you're going to die. And I'm like, yeah, I think I'm going to die. And instead of being dead, I'm sad and embarrassed at the end, which is just a joke from my act from seven years ago. But that is what it's like. I didn't know you were a panic guy.
Starting point is 01:21:54 We could have been talking about this this whole time. You seem like such a cool customer. I mean, dude, I quit comedy over it. I was having panic attacks when I would try to go on stage. Yeah, this has been something. I thought you quit because I was praying to God that you would quit. That was part of it. That's so weird.
Starting point is 01:22:07 That was the puppet behind the curtain I didn't see. That was really why it happened. The way you made him quit was by giving him anxiety. God gave him anxiety on your test. What about the waking up app? Sam Harris, who has a cameo. You ever use it? I use ASMR videos.
Starting point is 01:22:23 With pretty girls making, whispering, yeah, just going. And then they do these pretend pulls like this. It just gives me this calm feeling. And then I The Waking Up app is better than Alice. No, you can't beat that. It's done more for me than anything else.
Starting point is 01:22:42 Try ASMR with the girls. I'm telling you, I'm better than you. You're telling me your shitty system is not working as well. You don't have anxiety at all anymore? Zero. Zero? You could bring my ex-girlfriend out here and shoot her in the face and that would be just totally fine. That didn't seem like a great result.
Starting point is 01:22:59 That doesn't make sense. None. So you totally cured your psychopath now. Yeah. Nothing bothers me. Zero feelings. Totally good. Yeah. None. So you totally cured your psychopath now. Yeah. Nothing bothers me. Hero feelings. Totally good. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:23:07 Well, I'm actually, I was going through a tough time when I watched the movie. Like, I've recently had a panic attack and stuff like that. And I was watching the movie. I was having almost like a panic attack. I was watching it while I was having an anxiety attack. Oh, jeez. Which was awesome. And I loved it.
Starting point is 01:23:21 And then I watched it again with Jesse. And I saw some things I missed. So there you go. Yeah, you watched half of it. Half of it. But that was just, I watched the whole thing. I saw it. And then I watched it again with Jesse, and I saw some things I missed. So there you go. Yeah, you watched half of it. Half of it. But that was just, I watched the whole thing. I saw it to the end. I saw it to the end, to the drive.
Starting point is 01:23:32 Now, it was in Maine. Do you think that drive scene should have been a little longer? That's what somebody else said. Bill Sheff said that. He's like, it's the shortest drive compilation ever. Yeah, that drive to Maine. It used to be longer. I kept cutting and cutting it.
Starting point is 01:23:44 But people got it. It's not like you're like, wait, how did he get to Maine? I couldn't do that drive to Maine. It used to be longer. It was. I kept cutting and cutting it. But people got it. It's not like you're like, wait, how did he get to Maine? I couldn't do that in three seconds. Fuck you. It would take at least 45 seconds. But anyways, I do have anxiety, but now I can acknowledge that it's just an appearance and consciousness. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:23:57 Also, the thing in the movie that... Say that again. What is it? What is it again? It's just an appearance and consciousness. We are consciousness. And then you let go of yourself, the ego. And you see you're just consciousness is where all your thoughts and physical feelings are and visuals.
Starting point is 01:24:12 It's all in the same place. And a thought is just the same as you looking at me right now. I don't see consciousness. I see two headliners sharing a bill going on tour around the world. That's what I see. I see two equal attractions. That's going to be some tour around the world. That's what I see. I see two equal attractions. That's going to be
Starting point is 01:24:28 someday. Fill in the seats. Someday. Louis will be like 80 and come out and be doing shitty jokes. He'll walk like
Starting point is 01:24:33 his shoes are tied. Joe used to open for me, you know. Like, no he didn't. There's no way. You do so many things, right? Film is obviously
Starting point is 01:24:44 how much do you love film in comparison to comedy? How much do you want to do film as much as you do comedy? Well, comedy you can do every night all the time. And it feels a little bit like it's for younger in life. I mean, although George Burns toured until he was in his 90s. So I emphasize it now because I can still get out there and do it at the level I'm proud of. Grammy winning.
Starting point is 01:25:08 Did you like that? Yeah, I liked it. It was nice. I enjoyed it. It's weird to have a Grammy award winning comedian here. In this apartment. In this apartment. It's 100 degrees in here.
Starting point is 01:25:21 Yeah. And this place is a fucking shithole. Let's not mince words. It's not that bad. If you haven't gone to the bathroom yet, there's no mirror in there. I have a few times. Well, good.
Starting point is 01:25:31 I'm used to it. I'm a kid. Shit's all the time. But that's why I like stand-up. I like the immediacy of it, and also because I'm still able to do it at my age. But movies, I love them so much. They're hard.
Starting point is 01:25:43 It's hard to work. It's getting up at 6 o'clock in the morning and it's endurance but so is tour you know if you're on tour you're doing show after show city after city you go like how I can't even see the end of this and the thing that's hard about both of them
Starting point is 01:25:58 but stand up particularly is that you need to go on stage and for one hour you need to be completely invested in what you're doing for one full hour without dropping it for a second. You can't, when you're headlining a comedy show at some point, go, oh, fuck, anyway. Like, you can't really do that.
Starting point is 01:26:15 You have to be like this. Even if your thing isn't intensity, you have to be very present for a full hour. And sometimes when you're on the road, you know when it's like 4 o'clock, and you're like, I don't want to do to do this like you have a show in four hours and this time starts melting that's a horrible feeling yeah yeah i know exactly what you're talking about you know and when you're in it it's exciting but those the day after night after night
Starting point is 01:26:38 of it is really hard yeah and movies putting a movie together conceiving and writing it is really fun and then starting there when you cast somebody somebody, you go, he's perfect. Got the perfect guy. It's like a puzzle. It's like a puzzle. Yes. And a lot of things you go, I had no idea. I would have never seen that guy.
Starting point is 01:26:53 He just added a dimension to the movie that we didn't have in a script. And that's what you look for. You don't look for people to realize what you wrote. You look for people to take it from two-dimensional literal to three or four or whatever. And do you have a vision in your mind of what it is? Or it's like when you see it, you're going like, oh, that's what you mean by taking it. You have to be able to do both, I think. And then when you start shooting, there's days where it's just like you are going like this.
Starting point is 01:27:24 I'm watching the monitor. That's why I love doing this one because I haven't directed something for so long that I'm not in. I'm in two scenes and we shot him on the first day. Yeah. So the whole time I was just gross, unchowered and just watching the monitor. And I would just people used to laugh when they watched me because I'm watching Joe and I'm just like I'm pointing at stuff I want him to do. He can't see. Right, right, right, right. And it's so exciting
Starting point is 01:27:47 to watch the shit go down and know we nailed that one. And to know you're taking care of somebody and you're giving him, you know, you're protecting him and but you get like we got to Lake George where we're shooting it. We're there for two weeks, two and a half weeks, something like that. Two weeks, I think.
Starting point is 01:28:04 Two weeks. And I mean, two weeks, two and a half weeks, something like that. Yeah, two weeks, I think. Two weeks. And I mean, two weeks of nonstop every day, 6 a.m. till whatever, till sundown. And I had this script. I'm like,
Starting point is 01:28:13 I'm shooting this much and I would tear a page every time we shot it because it was like putting X's on the wall of a prison. There was part of it that was like,
Starting point is 01:28:21 I hate, hate this. It's a lot of work. It's just so hard. And then you've got to put every little piece together. You edit a lot of your own stuff.
Starting point is 01:28:34 I used to edit the things we did. Those were five minute things. I love it. It's such a fun thing. It's like a puzzle. We're creating music with the rhythm and stuff, but it takes a long time. And it's funnest. it's like being a DJ or something. Like you're finding little, and like I remember Paul Thomas Anderson said
Starting point is 01:28:52 that Magnolia was like a revolver in his head, like the album Revolver. And in my head, this one, because I'd heard him say that, I thought, not Abbey Road, Rubber Soul. It felt like that a little bit to me. But just so it gives you, you start looking for a pace in editing, and sometimes you find moments that didn't exist.
Starting point is 01:29:15 You find a way to do some trickery where you go, fuck, I did, and that's very satisfying. But it's incredibly tedious and takes a huge amount of focus. Right. So it's hard. I takes a huge amount of focus. Right. So it's hard. I like to just lay down in a tub where my joints don't get stiff. Yeah. And just drink ice cream through a tube and just wait for the ticker to stop.
Starting point is 01:29:37 That would be my favorite. I would take that over stand-up or movies. Because life is hard. It's hard to get up and be upright. How big of an influence is Woody? He really made me want to be a filmmaker more than anybody. I thought that's... And his movies were so approachable,
Starting point is 01:29:57 the comedies I grew up with, like Take the Money and Run and Bananas. The moment where I thought, you know, there's moments in movies where you go like, I can't believe he did that. Because there's laughs that are obvious. There's a scene in Bananas where he becomes a dictator of another country.
Starting point is 01:30:16 It's a crazy plot for anybody that doesn't know it. But he comes back to America and he's going to court for a crime. It was a very common trope back then, somebody covering their face because the press is all over him. Right. And he's covering his face
Starting point is 01:30:30 and then the whole press is walking and then he walks by this really ugly woman who's just standing there and he takes the hat and he just puts it over her face. I remember that was the moment where I was like, you fucking, you motherfucker.
Starting point is 01:30:43 Yeah. And if I think like this guy and he got to be doing this, I could do that someday. That's right. That's cool to hear like the moment of inspiration when somebody's like, you're like, oh, I love it like this guy. I want to do that. I want to do what he does. And then watching him develop to Hannah and her sisters and husbands and wives, crimes and misdemeanors. I mean, Annie Hall, Manhattan. Yeah. sisters and husbands and wives crimes and misdemeanors i mean annie hall manhattan
Starting point is 01:31:06 these are all masterpieces and it's crazy that they belong to one person that's absolutely it's nuts actually yep it's nuts the sheer volume i've always said like there's some woody allen movies that i don't think were his better ones but there's so many things in there that i liked i've never seen one movie i even think like the blue Scorpion, what was it called? The Jade Scorpion. Remember that one with Dan Aykroyd? Cursed the Jade Scorpion. I was like, ah, it wasn't.
Starting point is 01:31:31 But there was still things that are brilliant. And you go like fucking Woody Allen. There's just brilliant. And then Melinda and Melinda, you're going like, how did a guy who's in his seventies at the time write that for like women psychology? It's insane. It's insane.
Starting point is 01:31:45 It's very good. Yeah. Did you ever picture yourself being the lead man in a movie with that face? Oh, boy. That got hurtful towards the end. The back half of that question is a little hurtful. Well, I would say the same thing about me. I mean, you know, my eyes,
Starting point is 01:32:01 I'm a cyclops. I'm not really leading man material. You're like a teddy bear. I look like John Stamos missing a chromosome. I mean, you know, my eyes, I'm a cyclops. I'm not really leading man material. You're like a teddy bear. I look like John Stamos missing a chromosome. I get it. That's a good point. I'm not leading man. I mean, you're not typical leading man look. No, I guess not. But, you know, this is part
Starting point is 01:32:17 of your dream. He's got some leading man roles. Good point. Everybody you bring up is going to be insulted now. No, I'm going, good point. He's a weird looking guy who did good. Yep. No, I didn't think I would be the lead in the movie, but... Did you know you had
Starting point is 01:32:34 these acting chops? Well, I'm playing myself in a movie. It's very hard to play yourself. Not for me. You're not just playing... It's not about who you're playing. It's not about the stretch between you and the character. It's just the actual ability to be listening to someone who's talking.
Starting point is 01:32:50 Right, believable. And hearing and reacting to them like they're really saying it. That's what you're able to do. That pivotable scene, you were so good in that pivotable scene. Pivotable? The pivotal, pivotal, pivotal. The pivotal scene, like, you You know where you blow up That was like
Starting point is 01:33:07 It was real What do you mean it was real Well I mean the feelings Of holding things in for a long time That's what you call good acting That was like a lightning in a bottle Kind of like we can't fuck this up And I knew that was the thing
Starting point is 01:33:23 Because it was close to him I had to be careful Like that day he wasn't allowed nobody's allowed to talk to him because he's all our friends nick dipalo and robbie and all these guys so i told everybody don't talk to joe today and i locked him in a room and told him to just be because i didn't want him to be like hanging out with dipalo and laughing and then telling him fuck you later so i just wanted him to get to his real feelings. Cool little fucking move there. Yeah, I've done that with the people a few times. A few tricks I've picked up. One of them is
Starting point is 01:33:52 yeah, sometimes you should isolate actors and tell them to stop hanging out with the crew and the cast during certain days. And it isn't so they can concentrate on the moment. It's just so that they at least start with nothing. At least that there's nothing clanging around in their heads while they're supposed to be in the moment. Because there's a lot of times we have a lot of fun on the moment. It's just that they at least start with nothing. At least that there's nothing clanging around in their heads while they're supposed to be in the moment. Because there's a lot
Starting point is 01:34:08 of times we have a lot of fun on the set and then it's like, alright, alright, alright. Okay, you ready? Fuck you! You know, and it's a little, there's traffic in your head. The other thing I do sometimes is I'll tell one actor to do something different and I don't tell the other actor. And it's a way to get a real reaction
Starting point is 01:34:23 out of somebody. You tell them, do this this time, or interrupt them and say this, and you watch the guy go, what the fuck are you doing? Which is a good reaction. Yeah, that makes sense. A little tricks of the trade.
Starting point is 01:34:33 Yeah. So it wasn't so much your acting. It was what Louis did. I feel like I would have done okay either way. It's kind of like the strings. I'm an in-touch guy, and I like to listen, and I feel connected to emotions yeah that'd be funny but yeah but no it was Louie
Starting point is 01:34:49 this is great for every reason you think it was great just like I said unknown cast acting's great a movie with heart during this time this is it's a lot you can go with a date go see it go check acting's great, a movie with heart during this time. This is,
Starting point is 01:35:06 it's a lot. You can go with a date, go see it, go check it out right now. And thank you guys for doing, coming on this. Yeah, this was not our first choice.
Starting point is 01:35:14 This was like our fourth choice, but everyone was busy. Yeah, I was about to say, like, you know, yeah. I just want to throw some praise back at you because I was at the improv
Starting point is 01:35:22 back in, when was that? That's when we met. Yes. That was a month or two, two months ago, three months ago. Yeah. And so I saw you. I'd never heard of you.
Starting point is 01:35:32 I had no idea you existed. Yeah. And no, made no traction in my world. That makes sense. I've been doing stand-up. Sounds about right. I've been doing stand-up for nearly 35 years. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:35:42 I'm an aficionado. I study stand-up. Yeah. You didn't, you never You never penetrated my awareness not one time. I'm great at marketing. I know about comedians that none of you know about
Starting point is 01:35:55 because I study it. You're nothing to me. I'm at the improv and I'm in the back of the room and I'm waiting to go on. Everybody at the improv in I'm in the back of the room and I'm waiting to go on and it's just everybody does everybody at the improv
Starting point is 01:36:07 in LA does like 45 minutes yeah and I'm like hey but it's a nice club I like it there yeah and then you came on
Starting point is 01:36:14 and I just was blown away you were just so god damn funny first of all you annihilated it was a dead crowd and you're just pushing and you're pushing
Starting point is 01:36:22 and every bit is funny and original thank you and I bit is funny and original. I was laughing. I was pounding my table laughing really hard. It actually did for me what comedy does for an audience. It lifted me up, made me feel good and goddamn smart and hilarious.
Starting point is 01:36:38 Then I asked my friends, who is this guy? That's going to be the only clip. That'll be the entirety of the podcast. It's the whole thing. Then I asked my friends, Who is this guy? That's going to be the only clip. That'll be the entirety of the podcast. It's the whole thing. And then I would ask my friends,
Starting point is 01:36:49 who's this guy, Giannis Papas? I'm like, he's been around forever. I'm like, oh, he must have just been on...
Starting point is 01:36:53 I was in a weird mood and it was a weird... Cut that part. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, man. Anyway, very high, great, great stuff.
Starting point is 01:37:03 Loved it. I appreciate that. When, yeah, when, you know, when a guy. When one of the greats says you're funny, it's really why you play the game. Yeah, he's never done it, but it's implied. He put you in a movie, man. He took you on the road, yeah. That's right.
Starting point is 01:37:20 No, of course. No, it's the best. I mean, comics, yeah. Comics opinion is more. You don't have no fans, but that's right. No, of course. No, it's the best. I mean, comics, yeah. Comics opinion is more. You don't have no fans, but that's okay. Now Louie knows. Now Louie knows. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:37:31 You know what's great about stand-up especially? Also, let me just say, this experience of being praised by me is not an attestment of you guys' talent as much as it is that I've come down so low. Right, you're down. I've gone so low that you guys are my peers now. We caught you at a good time, yeah. That's right. A couple years ago, you wouldn't be here, yeah.
Starting point is 01:37:50 Never. The thing about stand-ups that I love, it's similar to boxers in that, like, you could be at the same gym. Any boxer could be at the same gym with, like, Cotto or Mayweather, whoever you want to put as you know like a big famous and it's just like we're all they're all boxers it's kind of like they're in the there's the same thing like whenever like you're a famous guy right yeah but when i hang
Starting point is 01:38:14 out with you or like even just two comics yeah it's weird it is true if you ever you ever work out in a boxing gym you ever go to not really if you ever go you i wanted to lie and say yes but well you feel self-conscious. You feel douchey. And you're putting on gloves and you're like, come on. And they're all real guys with six-packs fighting for their lives. And you look
Starting point is 01:38:35 at guys and they look at you, but everyone's like, oh, try it. Give it a try. We're all just trying. Because it's a hard thing to do. And everybody respects anybody who tries it. Everybody does. So stand-up has that to some degree there's a lot of competition and douchey attitudes but for the most part yeah you just you know oh good good good job yeah fuck but none of us because we're all everyone's you're always failing a little at it yeah i was talking to somebody about no and then they were they were
Starting point is 01:39:00 advocating for like the exclusivity of like hey if you're a new comic, you shouldn't even go approach a Louis or a Chris. And I was going, no, I want it. I was like, isn't it awkward? And I was like, yeah. And that's what makes it great. That's what makes it great. When a first-year comic comes to Louis, he goes, hey, if you need an opener, can you take my tape? Or did you watch my stuff?
Starting point is 01:39:21 And just watching that, that's where the good stuff happens. No, whenever young comics, like really young comics, come up and say, like, hey, I just got started. I live in Brooklyn. I always figure, like, I want to make it a little easier for them. Oh, that's nice. Good luck. But I also don't give them much because they're not ready for it.
Starting point is 01:39:38 Like, what am I going to say? Well, come on, move into my house. Do my next show for me. I'm looking for a lead role in my new movie. You did it the appropriate. No, but I started in, when I started in Boston, there was a legendary scene of great comics.
Starting point is 01:39:53 Like, every comedian was great. And you'd watch a show, and it would be like, and a lot of the more showcases, like five, eight guys, they were all amazing. Like, just rock star level. And that was the bar that was set. And I was 18 and I was just obsessed with comedy. So I would go to every night I'd go to like a bunch of clubs and just watch it. I was never put on. And I would actually go to the host of the show and say,
Starting point is 01:40:16 can I go on? He's like, you're not on the lineup. And I go, please. And sometimes they'd put me on and the owner of the club that I did that at, this comedy connection, he pulled me aside and he said, you can't do it. You've got to stop coming here. That's not how it works here. And then I would ask comics about comedy. I'd try to make friends with all of them. And I found out one of them, this guy Bob Batcheldore,
Starting point is 01:40:38 he's from Kentucky who had moved to Boston, he sat me down one night at a club and he said, are you on to the show tonight? And I said, no. He said, why are you here? I said, I just want to watch the show. And he said, a lot of guys have been talking about you. And there was a big talk about you amongst all the comics last night.
Starting point is 01:40:57 And I said, I'll talk to him because I like you. So it's too much. You're a nice kid, but it's like really a lot. And you're annoying people. And you got to like stop. If you're not on a show, don't come in. And I was so humiliated. I never could have possibly felt worse.
Starting point is 01:41:15 And I told Chris Rock this story recently as like an embarrassing story about my past. And he's like, you don't get it. That's why you're a great comic. Like those guys, they're looking down on you, but where are they now? Like this, that's what it takes is like an obsessive level. So you're right. The awkward, it is great.
Starting point is 01:41:34 It's awkward. You go up and just talk. Hey, how did you come up with your comedy? Yeah. What? Yeah. Of course you should do that. Yes.
Starting point is 01:41:41 If you're a young comic, you should be intrusive and obsessive and in everybody's face and make everybody should hate you in that generation. But they're all going to die. You're going to be the next guy. When they die, you'll be. Yeah. You'll be the next guy. Yeah. And I also like I think it keeps the big guys humble.
Starting point is 01:41:56 It does. I love you because you're in you're amongst the you're in the trenches again. That's right. And some guys coming up to you. You're approachable. It's not like Meryl Streep, you know? No. And if you love comedy for real, you want to hear this. Like, Miles
Starting point is 01:42:10 Davis' career was had longevity because he kept finding new guys to play with. New great players. I'm in 54. Most people my age... You look like shit. I know. Awful. Most people my age are in houses outside of Hollywood and they're just sort of doing one
Starting point is 01:42:27 thing a year. Um, but keeping you young people in your, in your life keeps you vital. You know, Joe, when did you start comedy? What year? 2000. 2000. So 15 years after me, he's a whole other generation, maybe two generations back from me. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:42:42 other generation, maybe two generations back from me. Because I made friends with him and he toured with me, we toured together. Coin flip every night. Coin flip. It doesn't really make a difference. It doesn't make a difference.
Starting point is 01:42:58 But because of that, I've got a new movie and I'm very grateful to him. It's not like a shot I gave Joe in my mind. I was not coming up with movie ideas and i didn't really have and i you know i didn't the fight i get to the fight upstream to get back to work was really hard and to have a part like a full partner and somebody else's vision to consider that wasn't just me and not it wasn't me putting myself out there which was a scary thing to do at this stage. Having Joe there, yeah, I keep thanking him for it.
Starting point is 01:43:29 I'm really so proud of this movie. And it's not, so much of it came from him, and he threw in with me, which is not an easy thing to do. What do you mean it's a scary thing for you at this stage? Well, it's a hard, you know, because of blah, blah, blah. Because of all the shit. Yeah, because of da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. It's like every step is difficult, which I accept.
Starting point is 01:43:48 I accept it. Right. And I'm the one who wants to keep doing it. I'm the one who's decided to keep doing it. Maybe it's time to be like the kid, though, that just shows up and goes, you know? Yeah. Well, I feel a little like that kid. You feel like that again.
Starting point is 01:43:59 Yeah. It's like, get out of here. What are you doing? Well, I just want to try it. Can I try it? What's this to me? Come on, can I? Dude, get the fuck out of here. What are you doing? Well, I just want to try. Can I try it? What's this to me? Come on, can I? Dude, get the fuck out of here.
Starting point is 01:44:06 You're not supposed to be here anymore. No, so I do have an uphill battle again, and that's fun. Yeah. That's fun. And also, this is a weird time in the culture. Yeah. To be, I don't know how people handle right now being a successful mainstream show business person because it's such a bizarre culture to be a success in,
Starting point is 01:44:25 I think, you know, what is it, what do you have to do to mean to stay in there right now? If you're in the pocket, right. If you're the guy up way up there, then how do you,
Starting point is 01:44:34 what do you do every day to not lose it? You know what I mean? That's, that's much harder, I think, or hard in the other, in the opposite way. So I feel free on this,
Starting point is 01:44:46 in this, in a sense, in other words. It's kind of an interesting thing to be, you're kind of that kid again that you were back then. At 54. At 54. The difference is that you see death coming a lot sooner and your body's getting tired and there are days where you go, fuck this. But you have a wisdom that you didn't have as a kid.
Starting point is 01:45:09 Yeah. Well, you could be the, you can't say this now, but you're one of the best comics ever. You make, you're so funny. You make, it's like a laugh. When you watch a Louis special, it's like you laugh. You laugh for, you know, other people you watch, you're like, that's great.
Starting point is 01:45:24 You go like, oh, that was great. You watch your special, like you're You laugh You know Other people you watch You're like that's great You go like oh that was great You watch your special You're doing both those things You go that was great But you're actually fucking laughing Oh good Me and Jesse used to watch Back in the day
Starting point is 01:45:32 And fucking crack up And talk about your bits I think it's something We're born with Yeah you That's Joe's the same way Joe's new special's out
Starting point is 01:45:41 It's great Like you're just One of the funniest guys It's what it is And also now you the funniest guys. It's what it is. And also, now you're a great actor. It's not fair. And you got fucking the greatest face in the world. I was trying to do a bit, and now it's weird.
Starting point is 01:45:52 But thank you. I'm just trying to make an earnest... This is material available on YouTube. You're very comfortable with emotions, then. I'm just being very sincere at this moment. Thank you. You're a very funny guy. 2000-ish, right?
Starting point is 01:46:03 I said it around the same time. I mean, I quit for a couple years after that,-ish, right? I said it around the same time. Yeah, I mean, I quit for a couple years after that, but yeah. Right. Yeah, we're the same generation. I text you. It's like, I should be better friends with you.
Starting point is 01:46:13 Yeah, why don't we hang out? We always say that, too, every time. Well, you live far away. Yeah, but we smoked a cigar. We had a great time. Every time we've hung out, we have a great time.
Starting point is 01:46:20 You're my kind of guy. You're understated. You got a good heart. You're never going to make it big in this business like me. It's kind of like we should hang more. But you live in fucking Westchester. Move to Queens, man.
Starting point is 01:46:29 Just fucking bring the wife out there. What are you doing? Getting drunk with Sean Patton? Those days are over. No, I haven't. Come hang out with me. We'll bring fucking Louie. He's got nobody who wants to hang out with him anymore.
Starting point is 01:46:37 Can we get Bobby, too? Bobby, Virgie. Bobby, we'll get him. Virgie, like me, I always get a weird vibe. We'll hide the food from Bobby. Let's do it. Does Paul like me? Paul, who doesn't like Joe List?
Starting point is 01:46:46 A lot of people in the comments. Look down there. Look right down there. Fucking weak. Tuck, tuck. It doesn't matter how many people. I'm like, everyone's favorite comedians, favorite comedians, they don't buy it. Louie can go on.
Starting point is 01:47:04 This guy, They're like Fuck Ari Fuck this guy DePaulo Bobby They do it for attention They do it for attention Half of them are doing it for attention
Starting point is 01:47:10 Norm Macdonald They're like Something's up This guy's paying Norm off I'm like What do you want me to do? They hate me I'm telling you
Starting point is 01:47:18 They do it for attention You can't read the comments Sometimes I think the negativity Is like Because it makes you More visible In the comments Yeah it's fun Yeah is because it makes you more visible in the comments. It's fun.
Starting point is 01:47:27 It's just bar talk. It's just at the bar. It's just that it's on print and it feels bad. It's just the same. Ah, fuck that guy. And then if you go like, really? Why fuck that guy? I don't know. I don't know. I actually kind of like him. Fuck him. I don't know. For right now, fuck him. I think it's my face. I've told you this story
Starting point is 01:47:43 before. I was opening for Dane, 2004, Dane Cook. And this is when Dane was about to really break, but was selling out every club show. And this is in Boston where he broke first. So he was about to become like stratospheric. And every show sold, adding shows. And I was opening. And I was killing.
Starting point is 01:48:01 I was 22. And a guy stood up. This is in Boston. He was stage left. And he stood up in the middle of my set. And he 22 and a guy in Boston, he was stage left and he stood up in the middle of my set and he goes, this guy's a fucking nerd in the middle of my set. And I went, what the hell?
Starting point is 01:48:14 And then nobody said anything and he sat down and I just went, that was crazy or whatever. And I kept doing a set and I was doing well and he stood up a second time and he goes, hey, seriously, he's a fucking nerd. And I think people don't like my face. That's exactly it.
Starting point is 01:48:30 I think it's a little bit about me. No, but that's also Boston. Because. He was very upset that no one was mad. That's a huge comedic quality, though. That's like a huge, like. No, it is. Perennial underdog, kind of flawed.
Starting point is 01:48:43 Yeah, you have a comedic face. You do. You look like a cartoon character. The things that are a hindrance in real life are asset in stand-up. It's like a superhero. It's super power. Yeah, it's like you can't be a good-looking comic that easily. Not a good one.
Starting point is 01:48:57 No. Not usually. Except for you. Except for me. But, no, I remember Seinfeld came to the Paradise in Boston once, and he headlined there. And he's doing his jokes, and some guy stood up. It was very similar.
Starting point is 01:49:10 The guy stood up in the middle of the show, and he went to leave. And it was very kind of obvious, and Jerry went like, because he took his jacket and everything. Jerry goes, is there something wrong? And the guy goes, knowledge. Like he heard Jerry the way he talks, and he's guy goes, knowledge. Like he heard Jerry the way he talks and he says, knowledge.
Starting point is 01:49:31 You can't get everybody. You can't get everyone. You can't get everybody. I think people think I'm paying out Louis and Norm and Apollo. You're a great comedian. You're a very funny comedian. That's not what I hear.
Starting point is 01:49:43 I think you're in your... That's not what I hear. I think you're in your... That's not what I hear. Yes, of course. I hear the comments, too. People who watch my special, they go, oh, yours, Joe List. I mean, I've never heard that. Well, I mean, more people do like me than don't, but the people that don't, they're... So where are you?
Starting point is 01:49:57 Who are you listening to? These people are in the comments, literally. Like, you're reading insane... Some are direct messages. Yeah. Dude, think about it like this. Think about it like this. This is the way I thought about it, and this changed it for me.
Starting point is 01:50:10 Would you ever comment on a video, let alone direct message something you watched? He reads Yelp reviews. Are you that kind? Then you deserve it. And then he reads the comments on his Yelp reviews. Then you deserve it. No, no. That's not exactly true.
Starting point is 01:50:25 That's an exaggeration. I left a Google review once in Madison, Wisconsin. So you deserve it. Because a cab did not show up. And then I get notifications saying, so-and-so found your review helpful. But no, I don't comment on YouTube. The type of person that would do that. Think about the type of person that would do that. Think about the type of person that would do that.
Starting point is 01:50:45 Yeah, that's a sick person. The positive ones are great, but to put a negative. If I don't like something, I don't waste more time telling the person. Yeah, I'm out of there. You're poking. You're poking. You want to get noticed. You want attention.
Starting point is 01:50:58 You want to get noticed. You're trolling. You're doing it on purpose. It's got nothing to do with the person you're talking about. No. I mean, and really you feel that. You feel that. And you forget it. It's not like you do with the person you're talking about. No. I mean, and really you feel that, you feel that strong. And you forget it. It's not like you post it and then sit there and go, hmm.
Starting point is 01:51:10 Yeah. Well, that's what I- You just move on to something else and do it like just 30 times a minute. Yeah. No, I've had this discussion before because we do a movie, Ronan Hirschberg and I do a movie podcast. So I'll critique art and then people will write to me and be like, your movie fucking sucks.
Starting point is 01:51:24 How do you like it? And I'm like, well, I didn't email Robert Redford to be like I did it on a YouTube show he's not hearing it right you know I don't email people right it's a it's a lot of effort if you're doing that it doesn't say a lot about the success of your life if you're putting in that much effort to personally mess I've gotten some message and sometimes I just go hey man are you okay and then watching their different response going like and I go, hey man, I'm just
Starting point is 01:51:50 you shouldn't be, I don't want you to be upset. Maybe you shouldn't just be watching it. And that you can see them being confused by it because I'm like, what I'm saying is true. I'm going like, hey man, maybe you should, I don't want to hurt you. Yeah, I didn't know I was doing this to you. Are you okay? There was a club I worked at in Milwaukee.
Starting point is 01:52:05 Stop bragging. It was the Comedy Cafe. And the owner was a Samoan guy named JD. And he rode Harley bikes and had a shotgun in his office that he put on the desk when he was paying you. But I was doing a show there once headlining for a weekend. And I wasn't famous, but it was packed because the club was really good. And I used to sit by the door and watch them go in.
Starting point is 01:52:30 I used to like to watch my audience go in, and I could do that. They didn't know who I am. And so there was a nice family of nice people going in. And J.D. saw them, and I watched him do this. He went over and he said, hey, folks, how'd you end up at the club tonight? And they said, oh, well, we came here before and we had a nice time. And he goes, who did you see? And they said, Jeff Dunham.
Starting point is 01:52:52 And he goes, oh, okay, so have you seen Louie? And they go, oh, no. Do you know anything about him? He goes, no. He goes, he's a tough act. He's a tough act. It's not an easy night. It's pretty rough.
Starting point is 01:53:03 A lot of bad words words a lot of sexual content and they were like oh and he goes listen i don't want you to have bad time we my partners and i own a steakhouse let me send you there and feed you dinner you come back here another another time this is a guy who's turning business away and buying them dinner well because he knows it's no good having people say right i didn't have a good time there you don't just tell him get in there you fucking watch what we show you, you fucking loser. This thing of like, we're doing the comedy and fuck you. That's not the approach.
Starting point is 01:53:32 But yeah, that's how he felt. He's like, don't have them there if they're not going to have a good time. I was very grateful that he did that. It's actually pretty smart. They're actually pretty smart. Because you're going like, hey. Because some people are like, yeah, I'm into that. I know what I'm getting into.
Starting point is 01:53:44 Some people are going like, hey, come on. are like yeah i'm into that i know what i'm getting some people be going like hey come on another if i owned a business that would be my approach yeah especially with comedy because it's very so subjective divisive i have people in my audience sometimes these days that are looking at me like this like with this sort of cynical and i'm doing stuff that's offensive and i see people get offended in my shows that i am headlining and i used at first, like, why the fuck did you come here? But then now I realize, no, I'm grateful that they came. They're not into it. They certainly know who I am.
Starting point is 01:54:15 And they're not sure they're into it. But they came to check it out. I appreciate that. And to me, it's like if you sit in the audience of a show, if you pay money and sit in the audience, you actually have a vote in my act. You actually will affect my act. If I see
Starting point is 01:54:31 your face and you're going like this, it's going to, even in micro ways, it's going to make me change how I'm going to, not what I say, it's not going to make me choose different, but I'm going to try to reach you because you're there. You'll be considering them in the crafting of it. Yes. And if there's silence after bits, again, I'm not going to give up reach you because you're there. You'll be considering them in the crafting of it. Yes, and if there's silence after bits, again, I'm not going to give
Starting point is 01:54:48 up on the bit. That's not how I operate. I'm going to keep trying to get past that or use the silence as a place to get to the next funny thing or whatever, but you're going to affect my act. If you're on Twitter or on YouTube and you're reacting to an article about
Starting point is 01:55:04 my show by somebody who wrote by somebody who's paid to upset you, and you write, fuck that guy, you don't get a vote. Not only do you not get a vote, I'm not going to hear it. I think it's actually for comedians to go online and look for that stuff by uninvested voices. It's contaminating the gland in your body that, that hears the audience that came, the ones that you're supposed to be working for. Some of them, again, not perfect converts, because it's no good to just go on stage in
Starting point is 01:55:33 front of people that are like, yeah, you're the man. You're going to just be arrested in development. But if there's people there and you're like trying to, I want you to like this, they're going to affect that gland. So you shouldn't actually, it's irresponsible to be listening to people who aren't in the fucking place, who don't go to comedy. They're not your kind of, not only are they not your fan, they're not comedy fans. They're not fans of anything.
Starting point is 01:55:56 They're just, they're not even a whole person. A person on Twitter is not an entire personality. It's just a weird part of somebody who's just going me, me, me, me, me. And if you're hearing it that's vanity that you want not only your fans to like you and not only your fellow comedians like you want every single kind of person and and if you're unrealistic it's unrealistic and it's vain it's to be to to be disappointed by one voice it's it's hard enough on stage you're killing and there's that one guy who's like this and you you're like, motherfucker, and he'll ruin the show for you. That's bad enough, but
Starting point is 01:56:27 if you're actually out looking, you looked searching your name on Twitter and Google and looking at YouTube comments, you're looking for, you're fucking yourself. That was so well said. Does Paul Verzi like me?
Starting point is 01:56:44 Paul Verzi has never said one bad thing about you. You've asked me that like four times, too. Really? Throughout the years. Yeah, is Paul Verzi like? Yeah, I've never. I'm trying to think of anyone who's ever said a bad thing about you. I can't think of one.
Starting point is 01:56:59 I can't think of one. I have all their Twitter handles. Yeah, I can't think of someone who's ever said anything bad. There's nothing bad about you. The only person who's angry at you is the girl whose shoes you shit in. And broke her table. So even she likes you. So it's like, who doesn't like you?
Starting point is 01:57:14 Yeah, that's a good point. Are we ever going to stop doing this podcast? I mean, I was trying to. I tried so many times to end it, but it was so good. I was trying to win. But then there was a gust of wind. I'm having too good of a time. No, I looked.
Starting point is 01:57:26 705. We were wrapping up, and I was like, nice. I'll get home. The Sox game. This podcast is over. Go see the movie. Go check out Joe's special. Tell friends about the movie. Text them about the movie after you see it. See it live in the theater. I'm just happy you guys came down. Thanks. That's what we have is word of mouth. Spread the word.
Starting point is 01:57:41 Spread the fucking word like COVID. July 12, 7.30 all over the country. Small business shout outs. You know we love it. Freaking cold of mouth, so spread the word. Spread the fucking word like COVID. July 12th, 730, all over the country. Small business shout-outs. You know we love it. Freaking cold. They're all over the studio. Stop drinking plastic waters. It's bad for your health to drink plastic.
Starting point is 01:57:54 It's bad for the environment. The solution is here. The water is water, dog. I mean, it's water, okay? So it's great in the aluminum. It stays cold. It stays freaking cold, freaking cold.
Starting point is 01:58:06 Spring water.com. Go order a bunch of cases like I do, uh, for your house. Stay away from the harmful chemicals and plastics, et cetera. Uh, get,
Starting point is 01:58:16 you know, it's all made in the USA as well. So no recycled aluminum from China. This is all USA support. John Mekas. We love having you, man. We love you being the
Starting point is 01:58:25 official sponsor of our show for water. I drink it in my home. I drink it here. All the guests drink it. Louis C.K. was just drinking one. Okay. Of course, you know, BrooklynCannery.com. My new favorite sodas. I don't drink sodas
Starting point is 01:58:42 at all. I don't drink soda. I drink BrooklynCannery.com. When I'm in the mood for a soda, thank God I found these guys. 15% off with the code YANUSPAPUS, all one word. Natural ingredients, no added sugars, low in calories, delicious
Starting point is 01:58:58 flavors, and they're prebiotic. We're going to get a case for here because you still haven't had one. I want one. You still haven't tried one. What's the Amaretto one? Oh, Cola Amaretto. That's what I want. Yeah, it tastes like a cola, like a good cola.
Starting point is 01:59:11 I'm going to put a little rum in there. Oh, you can put a rum in there, dude. My favorite, of course, like I've always said, is that key lime jalapeno. It's got a spice kick at the end. That's interesting. It's interesting and it's original. It's delicious. And then the root beer is incredible.
Starting point is 01:59:29 You can make those Moscow mules with those. And all the flavors are good. So check it out, brooklyncannery.com. If you're getting eye surgery, I may just do this. Can we make it into a Patreon episode where I go blind? That would be a good one. Yeah. Because I just, look, OCNYI.com.
Starting point is 01:59:52 If you've got to get LASIK in the New York area, go see Dr. Ragusa and Astoria Queens, or you can call them at 646-543-9474. Just tell them Long Days of Yannis sent you, and you will get 10% off your LASIK. So if you're in the New York area or drive from wherever you are and get a cheap, get LASIK from a fan. Make
Starting point is 02:00:11 a video of it. I'll repost it. Long Shore Coffee. Again, I'm so happy I found some of these guys. This is, I love Long Shore Coffee. I just drink it. It's what I drink. It's incredible. It's really good. They're out of Providence. It is, I love Longshore Coffee. I just drink it. It's what I drink. It's incredible. It's really good. They're out of Providence.
Starting point is 02:00:27 It's a small batch coffee roastery out of Providence, Rhode Island. And they ship nationwide. They offer free delivery in Long Island if you're in Rhode Island.
Starting point is 02:00:36 Sorry, Rhode Island, not Long Island. And you get 15% off if you use the promo code FUMES. LongshoreCoffee.com. If you're a coffee drinker, just start drinking Longshore Coffee because it's better than what you're drinking. Trust meUMES. LongShortCoffee.com. If you're a coffee drinker, just start drinking Long Short Coffee
Starting point is 02:00:46 because it's better than what you're drinking. Trust me. Don't do the Keurig shit. Get rid of that. That's bad for you. That hot plastic is going to give you cancer. So stop that shit. Go to LongShortCoffee.com.
Starting point is 02:00:56 Order your coffee. Get a drip machine and become a man and stop being a goddamn little girl. NateLinder.com for all your social media management needs okay he's helping home service companies e-commerce companies b2b companies comedians uh post-production companies follow him on instagram nate underscore linder uh or natelinder.com. Chris Minetti. Now, this is interesting. So Chris told us last week that he had a little situation. He got into a little problem. He said he got raided by the feds. They took over a million in cash from him.
Starting point is 02:01:36 He said apparently a customer of mine was laundering money. Big surprise. He goes, wonder how they heard of me. I got excited and thought maybe they're listening to the show i'm like wow the fbi likes the show i'm losing my voice but he goes what actually happened you can google the story he says they they took 175 million two girls two i gotta find out more about this story two chicks from south jersey fucking these wah Wawa bitches, they had a $175 million check cashing scheme. So the feds took all Chris Bonetti's cash, so he has to testify against these bitches.
Starting point is 02:02:17 He said, if you give me back my millions, I'll testify against my leader, Giannis Pappas. We wish you well Chris Minetti Chris Minetti you know as always you need to get your check cashed or if you're running a check cashing scheme 215 750 3730 Chris will cash your check Philly South Jersey
Starting point is 02:02:41 area it's so funny 305 PLP Media 305 Philly, South Jersey area. It's so funny. 305 PLP Media Services. 305 PLP Media Services. These guys will make a video for you, for your company, for your porn, for whatever it is, your wedding, whatever it is, professional, discreet, whatever it is. Go to 305 PLP Media Services.
Starting point is 02:03:07 You can email them at info at 305PLP.com check them out and Vimeo and you can call them at 786-548-2274 so if you're in the south Florida area have those guys make your video or do your post production
Starting point is 02:03:20 courseexclusiveautoshipping.com my man Jared down there in San Antonio. If you're moving your car anywhere in the country, go get your free quote from exclusive auto shipping.com. They've been operating since 2016. They're killing it. Uh, been in the business over eight years.
Starting point is 02:03:38 He's a lawyer listener and I'm just really, I would, he's one of my favorites. Jared, I appreciate you so much. So there's discounts for student and military as well. Hang on, I'm supposed to go. Oh, yeah, I missed one.
Starting point is 02:03:51 Aaron, leave. For the free.us all things Hawaii and music, go find out about musicians, bands, Hawaii. Go move down there and yell the N-word with Dog the Bounty Hunter.

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.