Yannis Pappas Hour - Truffle Pigs & Salt

Episode Date: October 3, 2021

Yanni explores the end of art and the era of Salt Bae, how stupid pigs are, the Chinese gov’t messing with Boeing’s money and we all could care less about Canadian Miners trapped in a mine.Sponsor...sHello Fresh https://www.hellofresh.comPromo code: LongDays 14Babbelhttps://www.babbel.comPromo code: FUMESCanvahttps://www.canva.com/affiliates/FUMES/?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=v1&utm_medium=LongDays%20with%20Yannis%20Pappas&_branch_referrer=H4sIAAAAAAAAA8soKSkottLXT07MK0vUy03VT9VPK81NLQYAVQ%2F%2BbBgAAAA%3D&$web_only=true&_branch_match_id=972995567372802692The show goes out every Saturday night at 9 to youtube and podcast audio platforms but while it's being recorded the show goes LIVE on Yannis' Instagram!Come join in on the LONG DAY & Follow Yannis PappasInstagram - https://www.instagram.com/yannispappas/Twitter - https://twitter.com/yannispappasWebsite - https://www.yannispappascomedy.com/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 I believe I can fly. I believe I can touch the sky. I think this was a dream I had last night. But then I went to court and they gave me a guilty sentence. So my career is over because I'm only attracted to high school chicks. Aaliyah, I'm coming to you, baby. See, the only thing about R. Kelly is he probably wants to die because when you die at that age, you stay the same age. So when he sees Aaliyah again in heaven, she'll still be 17. This is long days. What else is going on? South Korea is thinking about banning eating dogs. So if you've been to South Korea because you do business with Samsung through some affiliate in America and you ordered the spaghetti bolognese, I am sorry, you ate dog. What else is going on?
Starting point is 00:00:59 The ACLU wants to apologize for changing RGB's quote to gender neutral. She didn't say that. She said her. She said she in the quote. Fucking bad. Bad hurt. Knocked down a statue of her. If there was a statue of RBG, you'd knock her down.
Starting point is 00:01:21 But you'd also get arrested for elder abuse. Because she's been a hunter for a long time, longer than Morgan Freeman. What else is going on? General Miley is defending his call, warning the Chinese that there will be no attack from America under the Trump administration and Republicans are pissed. We're getting into that. Is he treasonous or did he save us from a war with China? Tune in to find out. Also, there was 39 miners who were stuck in a mine in Ontario, Canada, but nobody cares because we've
Starting point is 00:02:01 seen that movie before. Homicides are up 30% in America, so fuck the propaganda. Yeah, this kid's screwed in, got a lot to say. Aw, shit. This about to be a long day. It's a long day. It's a long day coming. Listen, we just don't care about anything happening in Ontario, Canada.
Starting point is 00:02:41 We don't care what the Raptors are doing. We don't care what Justin Trudeau's doing. They always try to make the news and we just say, can you guys please just send us a few of your good comics and shut the fuck up? Just give us Jim Carrey, give us Martin Short, give us Shania Twain, and that's about it. Okay. Maybe a little Steve Nash will take. Otherwise, we need you guys to zip it. Okay? You live up top, and we want you to be quiet. That's all.
Starting point is 00:03:11 So, you had 39 miners who were caught in a mine, and it didn't make the news until they were rescued from the mine, which I think is pretty funny. And I was even contemplating on putting the story on the show because who cares about miners caught anywhere that aren't in chile okay they were that's how boring canada is okay if you want to know the forecast for canada it's boring with a chance of rain they were caught there you know the Chilean miners were probably doing cool stuff in the mind they were probably going like creating their own salsa music with
Starting point is 00:03:51 their mouths going and they dance with each other it's a very sexualized culture Latin culture is very sexualized so one of them probably put on a wig and was like how you doing I'm going to be we've been down here 30 we've been down here for 30. So I'm going to be the filmia and let's dance. And then they probably had sex with each other, role played, created their own salsa music with their mouse. They probably started, you know, figuring out ways to cook bugs and figured out a way to make chipotle sauce. They did a lot of fun stuff. They made it colorful and fun. Canadians probably sat there and like just stared at each other and went, eh? And then at one point they had an argument over like a couple of bugs that they were going to eat. And one of them went, you want a fucking
Starting point is 00:04:37 goal, bud? You want a fucking goal? I'll fucking drop the mitts right now and goal, bud. fucking goal I'll fucking drop the mitts right now and go bud so that story's over they're rescued they went back to their families whatever nobody gives a shit about minors in Canada I got a snooze in and I'm activated today and as you'll see the snooze will move around my mouth and as I have watched these videos back I scratch my nose a lot because my nose itches a lot and it's itching right now and I'm going to try not to and I also move the snooze around a lot so I just look like a mentally ill person delivering the news all the time I'm scratching my nose
Starting point is 00:05:13 and I'm doing this a lot but that's the way you like it okay it looks like this is a talent show at a mental institution this looks like a cable access show at Bellevue. So yeah, South Korea, I didn't know. I didn't know. I'm a big dog lover. That's one of my passions is dogs. I did not know that they were eating dogs. I thought it was only the Chinese that
Starting point is 00:05:42 were eating dogs. Now, a lot of people on the other side of the issue always say, you have to understand pigs are smarter than dogs. Are they? Have you heard that? Has anyone heard that? People say that? Are pigs smarter than dogs? You fuck. Are the pigs the ones that live in our houses and herd our sheep and can smell cancer on you? I'm sorry. When's the last time Nicole Richie's pet pig did a round at the airport to find out if someone had fucking Al Qaeda juice on them to blow up anything? When does that happen? When's the last time you saw someone walking their very domesticated pig? Where's a pig park where the pigs can just hang out while the owners tweet and not pay attention to tweets and then not pay attention to their pigs and the pigs fight and then they break up the pigs where's the pig dog parks
Starting point is 00:06:38 are pigs smarter than dogs are they did they send in the pigs on 9-11 to search for dead bodies underneath the rubble can you stop tweeting at me that pigs are smarter than dogs because you're dumb and you don't know what you're talking about dogs evolved with us for probably close to 30 to 45 000 years 45,000 years to defend us, defend us against lions, Al Qaeda, Chinese, China flu, and against TikTokers. The dogs have defended us against all enemies since the beginning of time. In fact, until we linked up with dogs, we weren't even the apex predator on this planet. We never linked up with pigs. They never go to an ancient Roman or Viking burial ground and see one of the noblemen from Pompeii
Starting point is 00:07:37 who was buried in fucking lava, buried with his dog. I mean, buried with his pig. Fuck, it came too early, the first Hey Biden. There's no pigs buried with Robin Nobleman. Where's my glasses? Where are my glasses? I can't see what you're posting.
Starting point is 00:07:55 Can you pass me my glasses? I need my glasses. If you ever need your glasses and you don't make that voice, you're a Nazi. Where are my glasses? Pigs are actually considered the fifth most intelligent animal in the world. Okay, intelligence is relevant.
Starting point is 00:08:19 They're not smart enough to not end up on a fucking Cuban guy's sandwich. So not too intelligent to me, okay? That's like saying cows and chickens are also the eighth and tenth smartest animal on the planet. And plus, that's not saying much because how many intelligent species are there? There's us, there's chimps, there's dogs, and then there's a big fucking drop-off, okay? That's like saying, look, they're the eighth most intelligent.
Starting point is 00:08:42 That's like saying they're the eighth best player on the Jets. It's still they're on the Jets. So it's a low standard. They're claiming, Drew, you pulled up a website called Mercy for Animals. So, of course, they're going to skew. They're going to tell me that pigs can play video games because what they were just about to say is pigs can play video games. Can they?
Starting point is 00:09:12 When's the last time you sat down to play NBA 2K with a fucking pig? And I'm not talking about coppers who come by your house and say, hey, how you doing? Listen, we just need you to keep the noise down. Your next door neighbor is saying you're making too much. What are you playing there? Oh, you got 2K?
Starting point is 00:09:31 Let me save for a little bit, Captain. Hey, Sarge, I'm over here. Yeah, I'm doing business. Come on. LeBron wants the cookies. Okay, pigs are one of the cleanest animals. Duff, is this another PETA website
Starting point is 00:09:44 you pulled up? Pigs are filthy and they roll in shit. Can you fucking vegetarians please stop the propaganda about pigs being smart? They were meant to be eaten. Have you ever been to a pig roast or had a Cuban sandwich? Now, I don't eat pigs because they're filthy fucking animals. This is how stupid pigs are. They used to use the pigs to find the truffles, right? That's why we would call agents and managers truffle pigs because they would sniff out the money. They replaced the pigs because the pigs were so fucking stupid. They'd find the truffles, but then they would eat the truffles. And truffles are worth a lot of money.
Starting point is 00:10:30 So they replaced them with dogs because dogs know how to sniff it. And then all you got to do is throw a rope in the dog's mouth and it wags its tail and it's happy just because you love it. Pigs don't look for affection. I don't care how many of you animal rights activists tell me that pigs are cool. Pigs are actually in the wild. They're very aggressive and vicious and they're ugly. So who is ever going to like an animal that's ugly? Dogs are cute for a reason that's to win us over. I am sorry, ugly women. I am sorry that most men are superficial and want to bang pretty women, okay? But it's the way nature's set up. Dogs are the pretty chicks, Instagram models, and pigs, they write for HuffPo. That's just what it is. So R. Kelly's getting locked up.
Starting point is 00:11:25 Is there no justice in this world anymore? Can he still make his albums from jail? Because that would be a very fun video if he makes a remix of I Believe I Can Fly and it's just him on the yard. And then you see him believing, like I Believe I Can Fly is just his dream to escape and then some CGI animation
Starting point is 00:11:50 just takes him up and he's in the air and then he's flying and then he does all the old things he likes to do like peruse local high schools and take girls to get a happy meal at McDonald's would you rather leave your kids with A,
Starting point is 00:12:09 R. Kelly, B, Chris D'Elia, C, D, Ted Kaczynski, the Unabomber. Ted.
Starting point is 00:12:23 Ted, Jesse? Yeah, Ted K Jesse? Ted, Jesse. Yeah, Ted Kaczynski, who bombed and killed people, just won. You'd rather leave your kid with him. He might, because Ted Kaczynski might show your kid
Starting point is 00:12:37 some cool bomb-making stuff, whereas R. Kelly is just gonna be like, sit on my lap. Sit on my lap and let me hear you sing. Very interesting story about Salt Bae. He was interviewed. Do you guys know who Salt Bae is? He's a little Turkish guy who sprinkles the salt on meat
Starting point is 00:13:02 and became one of the biggest celebrities in the world. And then we wonder where art has gone. Where has art gone? Seriously, where is it? I turn on the TV. I don't see a lot of it. I turn on the internet. It's nowhere to be found.
Starting point is 00:13:23 Where is art? Because all I see is addison ray dancing salt bay sprinkling salt on steaks so where where's art does does people want art anymore or do they want salt bay so salt bay and I don't know how to feel about this. I'm asking you. Salt Bae was an obscure meat cutter who lived from Turkey. Okay, now maybe I'm harboring some resentment
Starting point is 00:13:58 because he's Turkish. But for some reason, but for some reason the world over found it very fascinating that he would sprinkle salt on the steak like that and then from there it was what they call
Starting point is 00:14:18 lightning in a bottle. It was lightning in a bottle to the point where now he has a chain of steak houses where, I kid you not, I think he charges like $600 for a fucking skirt steak. Can you pull up the prices on,
Starting point is 00:14:43 because all you do when you go, if you go, once in a while, I like to go and read the reviews for restaurants. If you want to read fun reviews, I mean, if you guys want to have fun, let me give you some tips on how to stay, have fun. One is to check in on Britney Spears' Instagram once in a while. She's still twirling and she's still taking psychotic selfies i don't know what's going on she's free and she won't run maybe she has stockholm syndrome another way is to check in on salt bay's reviews at his steakhouses because okay here's one salt bay somebody was so upset with the check at Salt Bae that they posted it. And it read total $1,812. So that's what it'll cost you to get two apps, a steak, and a bottle of wine at Salt Bae's.
Starting point is 00:15:40 But you don't pay. You don't pay for the quality. You don't pay for the quality. You don't pay for the quality. Quality is so fucking boomer right now. You pay for the chance that Salt Bae might come out from the kitchen in his platform sneakers that he wears because he's 5'3". So he wears Sylvester Stallone pumps. He may come out in his sunglasses and might cut the meat for you and throw a little fucking salt off his elbow
Starting point is 00:16:14 onto your steak. That's what you pay for. Let's look at the bill. First of all, so you get one Nasred Godfather is 18 bucks. That's probably bread. So you got two Coca-Colas, that runs you about 18 bucks. Okay, that's pretty standard New York prices. Two cafes, 200, here we go. Here we go, here we go. One giant tomahawk, $630. $630.
Starting point is 00:16:43 giant tomahawk $630. Salpe, this was the deal as it goes out to you. Was the dollars. Salpe now has about how many million followers on his thing? And don't get me wrong.
Starting point is 00:16:58 There's been many a nights where I just scrolled Salpe's Instagram and watched him sprinkle salt on steaks in many different ways and in many different places. And he's very talented at flipping the knife and throwing the salt. But if Salt Bae's popularity was not an indication that all standards have dropped, that all standards have dropped,
Starting point is 00:17:26 you got another thing coming. We're basically living in the Salt Bay economy right now, okay? Where if you see one clip on Instagram that catches your attention because it was set to the right music, had the right filter, had everything, someone will become a celebrity off that. And then when you see them live and they put on their show you're going like you're writing a review going i went to salt bae's restaurant the steak tasted like a boot and salt bae wasn't even there to sprinkle salt on my steak and i I paid $1,200. I paid $630 for one steak.
Starting point is 00:18:11 Okay, so that's Salt Bae before his video went viral. He looks a lot like Ronaldo before he got his first check as a professional football player. Have you ever seen old pictures of Ronaldo? Like his teeth were all jacked up. He looked like a kid who grew up in a favela, who got no medical attention. He had acne. He said, yeah, do it before and after. So there you go. That was Ronaldo before money. And that's Ronaldo after money. Money can change anything, baby. You ever see Marilyn Monroe when she was just normal without makeup on? Yeah, she looks like Roseanne Barr. And then you see her at, and we just saw a picture of Salt Bae in the kitchen.
Starting point is 00:19:01 He just looked like a bar back at a French restaurant in Brooklyn. He looked like a little Mexican kid. Yeah, I mean, I mean, she could still catch it over there, to be honest with you. Marilyn Monroe could still catch it.
Starting point is 00:19:13 But go to when, like a before, like go to Marilyn Monroe without makeup on or when she was Norma Jean or whatever her fucking fake name is. I mean,
Starting point is 00:19:22 dude, marketing is so powerful. She could still catch it. Yeah. God, you know, how many dicks do you think she was trying to erase from her memory that she didn't want to suck with all those pills she was gobbling down her gullet. Every pill was one fat studio executive's dick that she was trying to erase from her memory. Okay? There's nobody in the history of show business who wanted to get the men in black fucking blink
Starting point is 00:20:00 more than Norma Jean. Because back then, what separated a Marilyn Monroe from a whoever walking down the street? It's dicks. Dicks. Why do you think she took so many fucking pills? To forget. We all want to forget the compromises we make.
Starting point is 00:20:22 Was it worth it, Norma? Was it worth it. Was it worth it, Norma? Was it worth it? Was it worth it to become Marilyn Monroe, who everyone aspires to be, famous and rich and adored, but nobody knows the real you. You're just Norma Jean from some Midwestern town who was used as a sex object
Starting point is 00:20:47 and were put on screen because you sold that sultry sexual energy and you were picked because some rich disgusting
Starting point is 00:20:59 fat studio exec who Harvey Weinstein continued the tradition of, put his fucking fat, meaty paws on you. And then you had to take pills every night to try to erase the memory. And now we got Salt Bae, very similar to Marilyn Monroe.
Starting point is 00:21:21 Before he was Salt Bae, what's his real name? His real name is, Turkish Chef said, right, prices shocked Twitter. Turkish Chef opens his new restaurant and the prices shocked Twitter. So he opened a new, so he's got restaurants in like London
Starting point is 00:21:46 New York. He's got like 20 restaurants dude and they're packed and you go there and the steak tastes like shit. There's a good chance it's probably not even steak.
Starting point is 00:21:59 It really could just be like the back of a dog leg because one of his investors is South Korea. South Korea, I'm very disappointed in you. I have a Samsung TV. Guess what? I'm smashing it tonight and I'm getting an LG. Who makes LG?
Starting point is 00:22:19 Who makes LG? I need to know right now because I'm replacing my Samsung with LG. And if you want to know who wins between iPhone and Samsung, iPhone's in the lead. But here's another reason to get an iPhone. Okay?
Starting point is 00:22:36 Fuck Steve Jobs' daughter. Nobody cares about her. Okay? That's the only reason I could think of to not get an iPhone. And the fact you could also say that Apple collaborates with Chinese companies and allows them to make their, what's they called, Jesse? Those little things?
Starting point is 00:22:55 Microchips. The microchips. But what are they called more specifically? Semiconductors. That's another reason why you could boycott iPhones because Asian companies make 88% of the semiconductors that go into smartphones, which now rule the world. And that begs the question, wow, that gives them a lot of power.
Starting point is 00:23:15 And Apple went over there for cheaper labor and works with those companies who provide those semiconductors that go into the phone that are probably watching you jerk off to Transporn to blackmail you later. But such is the world. Or if you're, you feel empathy for his daughter, that he made those iPhones and didn't pay attention to her. But now you have a reason to boycott Samsung. They eat dogs, okay?
Starting point is 00:23:41 I wouldn't even eat my dog if I was starving on a mountain. I would eat Drew first. I'd take him down. I'd trick him first by telling him, hey, look, there's a sneaker store down that way that you can resell your sneakers. And also, we got a couple of pitos we need to hunt down. And he'd go, where, where, boss, where? And then I would get behind him, and I'd choke him out, and then I would eat the meat. And I would look the other way that one of the meat chops has part of a Jesus Christ cross on it. Yeah, what body part would you start with? I would start with the middle of the cross on your back.
Starting point is 00:24:15 One of your Catholic tattoos. Which, you know, when I see those tattoos on you, Drew, it makes me know that from the beginning you were an independent thinker you know you weren't somebody who just went along with what people told you said you know what what are these catholic scholars telling me let me think about this a little bit maybe i'll be a muslim maybe i'll be a buddhist you were very ambiguous about what you believed at the beginning well someone told me you need jesus so I got a tattoo of him on my chest. You have to trust whoever someone is. You made the right decision.
Starting point is 00:24:51 That was my mother. Mother. Okay, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I'm saying this, Mom. I'm just joking. I support the Catholic Church and what they do and the good work that they do around the world
Starting point is 00:25:03 to clean up all these unwanted kids, and get them off the street. Guys, listen. If you're not traveling now, you know, if you got your vaccine, and now you're out and about, and the travel restrictions are lifted,
Starting point is 00:25:17 it's time to get back on the road, and go see some other cultures. Go to Europe. Go travel wherever. South America, wherever it is. You want to, you really want to get proficient in the language, the to Europe, go travel wherever, South America, wherever it is. You really want to get proficient in the language, the native land, so you can show that Americans are sophisticated.
Starting point is 00:25:32 So you got to use Babbel. Babbel is the number one selling language learning app for a reason. They give you these great bite-sized lessons and you could really learn the language to speak it. It's very practical. They don't use AI, which a lot of these other language learning softwares use. They use actual language experts. They actually use a hundred different language experts to craft these lessons and they're great. They have speech recognition technology to help you improve your accent so you can sound better, especially if you're in France. That's important. They're going to want you to be accurate. So for all you girls taking a semester abroad and you want to meet a French husband who's
Starting point is 00:26:13 cheating on his wife, you're going to want to speak well when you order with him. You can choose from 14 different languages. They got all the good ones, right? Spanish, French, Italian, German. I said good ones with quotes on German. That's a little hard. Weissen, Uessen. They also got podcast games, video stories, even live classes.
Starting point is 00:26:38 It's very interactive, very fun, and you should learn another language. It's just a fun thing to do. It's a fun thing to think in another language and be able to understand another language. And when you travel, it comes in so handy. So this is what you do, guys. For my fans right now,
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Starting point is 00:27:32 or your trip to Savannah, Georgia, or if you're an influencer or somebody who's trying to be an influencer who nobody cares about. You gotta push out the content. Now there is a app that helps you do that. Canva Pro is the best. You can design anything like a pro with Canva Pro on any device. They work with all devices. So it is a design platform that empowers you to create and share stunning content in just a few clicks.
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Starting point is 00:31:48 on excess food that ends up going in the trash anyway. I hate that when you go shopping, you buy all these vegetables and you never end up using them. It happens to me every single time. I'm like, okay, I gotta start eating vegetables and I buy all this broccoli and who the fuck eats all that broccoli?
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Starting point is 00:33:51 or three and the other three die. So animals have evolved to have a large litter in order to ensure the survival of the species. And dogs continue to have large litters. And there's just too many dogs and not enough people to take all the species. And dogs continue to have large litters. And there's just too many dogs and not enough people to take all the dogs. So a rational person would say, well, why don't you eat the rest of the dogs?
Starting point is 00:34:14 So at least they don't go to waste. But I can't be rational on this issue. And faith is stronger than reason. Don't eat the dogs, even if you're starving and you need the protein, okay? Also, hydrochloroquine does cure cancer. Just try it, okay? Try it. Give it a shot. Give hydrochloroquine a shot. Give ivermectin a shot, okay? Who is the NIH, the CDC, and the WHO, and every, every fucking person to tell you that ivermectin and hydrochloroxine don't work for curing Kivit? They're not, okay? And that's
Starting point is 00:34:59 why I support the Frontline Doctors Alliance, Okay, I support them. I support RAVKU. I support cadencehealth.us and I support speakwithanmd.com because you know, and I'm saying, hey, speakwithanmd.com, I'm open for sponsorships.
Starting point is 00:35:22 Speakwithanmd.com, AFLDS, cadence health.us ravco and frontline doctors they've been hacked they got they were hacked by an internet hacker who remains anonymous who was hacking them to show how precarious their security system was. Now, what was he able to hack? All their personal information, their prescriptions, what they were being prescribed, what they were paying, their social security numbers, their addresses, all that non-important information that people don't hold sacred. So they hacked, they hacked,
Starting point is 00:36:08 they hacked the site. It's, they hacked, which, who did they hack specifically though? It doesn't matter. They hacked them all and they were all working in concert so ravku was the company that was uh acting as sort of they call it an uber of prescriptions so you so frontline doctors wrote the prescriptions ravku sent the prescriptions uh through speakwiththemd.com and cadencehealth.us. And they filled all these prescriptions for ivermectin and hydrochloroxine. And we're making, it's estimated up to from somewhere between $67 million to who knows how much, $100 million, $200 million, charging these people $90 for a consultation and $60 for prescription, whatever.
Starting point is 00:37:12 And they were charging them for these phone consultations or whatever. And they were prescribing them ivermectin and hydrochloroxine and zinc, which is an important vitamin in the war against COVID, as is exercise and as is hydration. So I support the frontline doctors in their effort to offer an alternative to the mainstream because that's what we need is all
Starting point is 00:37:48 an alternative um i believe the same thing for cancer i believe the same thing for cancer we got to think outside the box okay all these john hop, NYU, Harvard, they're in this tight box of the scientific method where they do study after study and control study, where they get into the lab and they try to come up with treatments that work over and over and over again. They study it.
Starting point is 00:38:18 That's in the box. We need to think outside the box. For example, fountain soda. Does that not cure depression? You're sad. When you have a fountain soda, how fucking happy do you get? Okay. Now, why isn't anyone looking into the fact that Prozac is made by Big Pharma
Starting point is 00:38:42 and Coca-Cola is made by big business. There's no way out of the funhouse because ivermectin is made by Merck. Merck is Big Pharma. So how do you escape big pharma is there any firefighters who are making anti-retroviral drugs for the people we need to get out of this big pharma loop now i understand big pharma wants to make a lot of money and they prescribe all their pills to you you walk into a psychiatrist's office they're're like, take all these.
Starting point is 00:39:25 I understand. They're giving the doctors free pens and shit and they're saying prescribe this stuff and they do it. But there is an FDA, CDC, WHO standard. I know it's regulation. I know libertarians hate it. I know libertarians hate it.
Starting point is 00:39:42 But libertarians, what do we do with unfettered capitalism that allowed all our jobs to go to China and then we looked the other way at the slave labor because we wanted to get in bed with them and now they're fucking us. How did that turn out? How did unfettered capitalism
Starting point is 00:40:03 and the free market that went and sought cheaper labor in other countries turn out for our country? It hasn't turned out that good right now because China is whooping our ass. What they're doing is saying, hey, how you doing? Listen, they're doing it like the mob. They do it like the mob. Okay, I'll be President Xi going, hey, how you doing? So listen, you want to make iPhones? All right, that's good.
Starting point is 00:40:31 You're making iPhones. That's nice. Here's the deal. I can offer you a great deal on labor. I'm talking about we pay these fucking kids in dog meat. You know what I'm talking about? We give them a fucking dog sandwich, and we hit them up with a fucking 17 cents American. I'm talking about we pay these fucking kids in dog meat. You know what I'm talking about? We give them a fucking dog sandwich,
Starting point is 00:40:49 and we hit them up with a fucking 17 cents American. They work for 12 fucking hours, and if they fuck up, we fucking beat them. We beat them and throw them off the fucking roof because there's a billion of them. We don't care. There's a fucking billion. So I give you that, right? And I will make sure these guys are efficient, not like your fucking
Starting point is 00:41:06 fat American workers, you got who want to smoke break, they want to fucking go to Taco Bell, not that shit, these kids aren't allowed to fucking eat, all right, we fucking put a food tube in them while they're on the fucking line in the factory, and the food gets injected to them while they work, so I can save you a lot of money that way. Save you a lot of money. Here's what I need you to do for me. I got this company, Tang Jing Tang, and I need you to allow Tang Jing Tang to kind of work with you.
Starting point is 00:41:38 So you tell Tang Jing Tang what you need as far as the fucking semiconductors. You know, the whole brain. We put the brain in. Let us put the brain in. Don't worry about it. We're not going to sell any of them off the back of a truck. Who does that?
Starting point is 00:41:59 We're not going to steal any of the information that we learned from Apple on how these fucking phones work. That's not what we do. You can trust me. I'm a good fucking guy. I'm a good fella. I'm a made guy. I don't fuck around. Let's make money together.
Starting point is 00:42:20 Let's fucking make money together. Don't worry. I got you. Then you turn around. The next thing you know, China and the rest of Asia makes 88% of the semiconductors that go in iPhones. I would call that a dependency. And then when America says, hey, hey, China, thanks for that great deal. You saved me a lot of money on my bottom line with having my factories over there to make these iPhones. They're selling worldwide. Yeah, we cut you in. We cut that, your Chinese company, and it worked out for everybody. And we're taking a lot of your exports. Thank you for sending your meat and your plastic shit that fills up 99 cent stores and makes housewives with short haircuts and neck fat
Starting point is 00:43:11 feel very good around Christmas and fucking Thanksgiving and Halloween. My fucking wife goes to the fucking 99 cent store and buys every little fucking plastic pumpkin that you have in a joint and throws them all over the fucking living room. So thank you for that. And they end up in a fucking landfill or a turtle's mouth. We appreciate it. Thank you. We buy so much from you. Thank you for the rubber and all the shit that gets sent here. We love to take your shit and buy your shit. That gets sent here. We love to take your shit and buy your shit. Now, scratch my back a little bit.
Starting point is 00:43:48 I got a bunch of Boeing planes. I got a bunch of Boeing planes. Pull it up, Drew. I got a bunch of Boeing planes here that I need to unload. Make some money, you know? We made you money. Make me some fucking money, Jerry, okay? Will you buy my planes?
Starting point is 00:44:10 Pull it up, Drew. Boeing, China, Google it. Will you buy my planes? Will you? And China goes, hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, are you fucking breaking my balls here? You fucking breaking my balls. We're making a lot of good money on these fucking These fucking uh Semiconductors and the fucking iPhones Okay we're making a lot of fucking money over here We make the plastic You sell the fucking plastic I mean what's the deal
Starting point is 00:44:38 And they go wait a second here You're asking me to sell 72 fucking thousand of these fucking things? We already got planes. We already got, we don't need it. We don't need your fucking planes. And they say, hey, listen, we got the planes, we need to sell them.
Starting point is 00:45:00 We need to unload these fucking things. We made the planes. I can't just put these fucking planes in a 99 cent store. There ain't no fucking housewives buying planes. You need to buy the planes. So then you arm up. Then we get scared of you. And then we fucking make more weapons.
Starting point is 00:45:13 You know, it's the thing that keeps going. You know what I mean? And they go, we don't need them. Why don't you, uh, why don't you fucking go fuck yourself? Huh? We already got the fucking planes. And we're going, wait a second. I didn't know you had planes.
Starting point is 00:45:30 How'd you make the planes? How do you think we made the planes? We got in business with you. You showed us how to make the planes. And we had all the fucking parts over here. We had all the fucking labor over here. We made our own fucking planes. So, if you want to sell me your
Starting point is 00:45:47 fucking planes, it's going to come with a fucking steep tariff. You got to cut me a little something off the top. Alright? So I will charge you for you to charge me. And you go, wait a second, isn't that extortion?
Starting point is 00:46:05 And you go, stop fucking breaking my balls over here. We're all trying to make fucking money. God, they're good. Smart, dude. You can't not stand in awe of this plan and this execution that the CCP has been undertaken for, how long's it been? Just years.
Starting point is 00:46:32 Years. So, scroll down. Go to the Reuters story. So it's, just go to Secretary of, Secretary Gina Romero and Boeing and you'll pull it up. So she's sounding the alarm.
Starting point is 00:46:54 Secretary Romero sounding the alarm and saying, listen, we need to fight back against the Chinese economy. I have a message to you, Secretary Gina Romero. It's too late.
Starting point is 00:47:08 It's too late. They're already winning. They already have the upper hand. Because a lot could argue capitalism is the best, worst system. is the best worst system. When it's unfettered and all you seek is profit motive, naturally,
Starting point is 00:47:32 you follow the profit wherever it is, no matter the morality or consequences of it. That's what we did. We went to seek cheaper labor across seas, took all those jobs,
Starting point is 00:47:55 took all that manufacturing power that we had, and we turned it into profit for the heads of these multinationals and gave China all the power and know-how how to make it. Thinking they would just continue to be our bitch and make all our shit and never want to make their own shit and grow and compete with us. But that's not the way it goes. That's why whenever you have a protege, right, or someone working for you like Drew, okay? Drew's gonna stay here for a little while
Starting point is 00:48:23 and then right before he wants to cut my head off, I'm throwing him out the window because I know what he's up to. He wants to sit in his chair and he wants to rant to you and tell you his joke about how women don't want to look at you
Starting point is 00:48:36 when they're having sex. So, Drew the pedo hunter. So, the US says Chinese government is blocking Boeing airplane purchases. So U.S. Commerce Secretary Gina Romero said on Tuesday,
Starting point is 00:48:54 the Chinese government was preventing its domestic airlines from buying tens of billions of dollars from the U.S. We need that fucking money. Listen, you know who we are right now? Keep it right there. We are Ray Liotta in Goodfellas at the end going to see, what's his name?
Starting point is 00:49:09 Paul Servino. Listen, I know I fucked up. I did. I know what I did. I'm sorry. It won't happen again. I gotta give you this money and turn my back on you. I understand.
Starting point is 00:49:23 I mean, I'm gonna rat on you and put you in prison, but I'm gonna take this money. turn my back on you. I understand. I mean, I'm going to rat on you and put you in prison, but I'm going to take this money. Thank you. I know what I did. I know what I did. Because China's going to go, I'm going to give you one-tenth of that. Now I got to turn my back on you.
Starting point is 00:49:38 Now I got to turn my back on you, America. I can't give you tens of billions of dollars. I can give you a couple mil for it because you're going to have to pay me an import tax of let's say tens of billions of dollars. How's that sound? You want me to buy these planes? It's going to cost you for me to buy the planes. So we're going to be partners in the sale of the planes because I have the market. And then we're going to go, wait, that's not fair. We were letting you sell your shit. And then they go, yeah, of course. Because your companies were making money distributing the shit we made. And we knew
Starting point is 00:50:17 that you would turn the other cheek when we were doing this because we know you're greedy fucking pigs you're not dogs we eat the dogs but we don't eat pigs and you're a fucking pig so we used your greed against you and we fucking saved all that money we don't give it to the people the people make the shit don't party gets it. It's CCP. La familia. La cosa nostra. Can you say it in Chinese? We get the money. And so now, you know, now you're calling me the bad guy? What were you doing with your people? You took their jobs so you could make a little money. You got your fucking beak wet. And now that your beak's wet, you go, what happened? You did it. You did it to yourself. China is basically Al Pacino in what's the movie? Angel. What's the movie with Keanu Reeves? Come on, man. Fuck. Come on, man. Devil's advocate. Devil's advocate.
Starting point is 00:51:29 Wait a second. I didn't, you made those decisions. Scroll down. Boeing shares fell 2.6 on Tuesday. Scroll down. She says, she goes on to say,
Starting point is 00:51:46 Ray Motto, Secretary of Commerce, goes on to say, the Chinese need to play by the rules. I'm sure they're going, okay. I'm sure the Chinese are going, oh, okay,
Starting point is 00:52:00 we didn't know you wanted us to play by the rules. I apologize. This whole time, we didn't know. You never said, you know, you never just came out and said you wanted us to play by the rules. I apologize. This whole time, we didn't know. You never said, you know, you never just came out and said we need to play by the rules. So it's my bad. We'll play by the rules from now on.
Starting point is 00:52:13 The Chinese need to play by the rules. We need to hold their feet to the fire and hold them accountable. It's too late. It's too late. You already can't breathe. You got COVID. There ain't no vaccine for you. Boeing chief executive Dave Calhoun in March urged the United States to keep human rights and other disputes separate from trade relations with Beijing. That's basically going, shut up,
Starting point is 00:52:42 bitch. Okay. We know that they're putting fucking Uyghur Muslims in fucking internment camps. We know. But don't fuck with our money right now, okay? Just leave that off the table and shut your fucking mouth. I'm the CEO of Boeing. I'm trying to make some money here. I don't give a fuck about Uyghur Muslims, okay?
Starting point is 00:53:01 That's their way. They control their ghettos. That's their culture. That's their way they control their ghettos that's their culture that's their culture okay don't don't you respect um human rights and civil rights shut the up we're making a deal here it's my deal gene it's my deal we're we're him in fargo it's my deal gene so he's telling the secretary of comics please just make that a separate issue. Human rights are a separate issue because she bunched that in. She said, also,
Starting point is 00:53:30 there's human rights violations that we need to hold them accountable for. And the Boeing CEO said, shut up. I'm trying to get these billions of dollars. Boeing estimated that the Chinese airlines will need 8,700 new airplanes through 2040, 1.2% higher than its previous prediction of 8,006 planes. Let me change that for you. Boeing hopes the Chinese airlines will need 8,700 planes. Please take them. China's aviation authority, the first regulator to ground the Boeing 737 MAX
Starting point is 00:54:05 following two deadly crashes has yet to approve the return of service for the aircraft in their country China accounts for a quarter of Boeing's orders
Starting point is 00:54:13 of all aircraft so who's dependent on who now the tables have turned the student has become the teacher this podcast is not brought to you by the CCP the student has become the teacher. This podcast is not brought to you by the CCP,
Starting point is 00:54:30 but I'm open to it. I'm open to it. I hope what you guys, you guys are watching and you like what I'm saying, please pay me under the table. I'll promote ivermectin. I'll post fake shit. I will help continue to rip this country apart.
Starting point is 00:54:45 Whatever you need, just send me some yen. I need some fucking yen, guy. I got a daughter now. You think I care about morality anymore? I will do whatever. So Boeing lifts China jet demand estimate over two decades to 1.4 trillion. So did I explain that well with the mafia analogy?
Starting point is 00:55:11 Perfect. You do a great Leota. That was a pretty decent Leota, right? Earlier this month, Boeing revised the long-term forecasts. Okay, maybe they don't need 8,700. Maybe they need 2,300. Maybe you need 1,000. Just take a few off my hands.
Starting point is 00:55:33 There's nobody else to buy these fucking things. They're made and I need to, we need liquid. Jay Harvin, 15. Yanni wants China to send him money in a box with a ribbon on it but best believe it's gonna be in a bento box
Starting point is 00:55:50 why are you not giving us attention from the Greek bastard someone who didn't get attention from his father I'm here you never know how comment roulette is going to go down.
Starting point is 00:56:08 I did not know that Asia made 88% of the semiconductors. That'll make a great Keanu Reeves action movie where Keanu Reeves goes into Taiwan to try to get the semiconductors. Maybe that's also why China wants Taiwan, right? They've always wanted them. They believe in one country, whatever. But they also want all the shit Taiwan makes.
Starting point is 00:56:40 They want control of all that. South Korea, you better be nervous too. Japan, get nervous. Get nervous. Is this podcast becoming a broken record where I just complain about China? Well, it's a pretty big issue. If the Secretary of Treasury is saying, hey, we got to stop here. If Donald Trump is saying, we got to stop here. If even Obama is saying, we got to stop here. If Donald Trump's saying we got to stop here, if even Obama is saying we got to stop here, every president is saying we got to stop. And the thing is we can't stop because we're addicted. We're addicted.
Starting point is 00:57:16 That's like telling a sex addict to stop scrolling Instagram for hoes. It's not going to happen. That's like trying to tell Ari Lang to stop using drugs he likes them too much it's already a habit it's like telling me to stop posting about the vaccine
Starting point is 00:57:37 I can't I'm addicted you got yoved Jay Harvin 15 South Koreans were eating dogs they turned Shiloh into Shifo. That's the first Jay Harvin, 15 comment that made it on the episode that I do not understand.
Starting point is 00:57:56 Not everyone bats a thousand. Omar is wild, says, wait, I thought Taiwan was in China. Somebody's working for the CCP. Omar, you just gave yourself away. Yes, that's what China would say. China would say, you are in China and you belong to us. And we would say, yeah, technically you're in China,
Starting point is 00:58:18 but you know, this is different. Two countries, you know, two countries, one world, whatever the fucking thing was and China goes, ah, unified. You're with us. You belong to the CCP. And while this is all happening,
Starting point is 00:58:35 Salt Bae is just sprinkling salt on steaks. Oh my God, shit. The Mel kids are pranking people in the street. Drew is chasing down pedos in Jersey City for no money. And R.R. Kelly is going to prison for something you used to be able to get away with in the 80s. And Dog the Bounty Hunter has now joined the hunt for Brian Laundrie,
Starting point is 00:59:06 who they still can't find. Brian Laundrie's still on the lam. Is he dead? He has to be dead, dog. Or is this an indication of how far we have slid that we can't find a fugitive with all this technology? Maybe it's not really an indictment on anything except we just are incompetent
Starting point is 00:59:31 and we can't find this kid. I mean, but maybe Dog the Bounty Hunter can't. Is it my imagination or is the news getting very sketch like like you're almost reading a premise for a sketch so if someone said hey you want to write a sketch about brian landry one of my first ideas would be how about we write a sketch about how dog the bounty hunter finds brian landry and they're going wait that's hilarious so you're're telling me the FBI couldn't find them. Surveillance couldn't find them. Local police departments couldn't find them. Marshals couldn't find them. I go, yeah, exactly. Dog, the bounty hunter, the guy that loves to say the N word when he stubs his toe, he finds them. And TMZ, the very trusted outlet, one of the first that let us down this slide of media shit,
Starting point is 01:00:28 has reported that Dog the Bounty Hunter is getting close. So I don't know how TMZ has gotten the scoop, but that's their headline, is that Dog the Bounty Hunter, the exact headline is, Dog the Bounty Hunter is closing in on Brian Landry. So, Dog the Bounty Hunter has taken a break. I mean, it's making me, it's squeezy funny. Dog the Bounty Hunter has taken a break
Starting point is 01:00:58 from yelling the N-word and chasing down meth heads in Hawaii to hit the mainland and track down Brian Landry with his fucking stupid son and his fucking big-tittied wife. The three of them have taken a break from following mega- death on the road.
Starting point is 01:01:28 And they're going to find America's most sought after fugitive, Brian Landry, who has really won a place in our hearts. You do not kill a white girl in this country and get away with it. His wife passed away. His wife passed away. His wife passed away.
Starting point is 01:01:48 My condolences to dog bounty hunter. Apparently his bitch passed away. I say bitch as female dog because he's dog to bounty hunter. He called her. He did? Yeah. He called her that
Starting point is 01:02:02 unless he lost money on a game and then he called her the n-word wasn't that funny when that was news as if a guy that looks like that was never going to say the n-word he was going to go whoa whoa whoa whoa african-american does dog the body hunter look like a guy who's gonna correct you on the way you describe a group of people you go whoa whoa whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. It's not a China virus. It's COVID-19.
Starting point is 01:02:28 And you're going, thanks, Dog the Bonnie Hunter. And America made a TV show on him because we love shit. We love shit. We made a TV show called Where Are They Now? Because people generally had a big curiosity to find out what Scott Baio was up to. We really needed to know.
Starting point is 01:02:51 It was a hit show. And I think we should do a spinoff of Where Are They Are Now? Except it's NFL players who are retired and we call it Where Am I Now? Starring Wayne Corbett. players who are retired and we call it where am i now starring wayne crevette and who is the quarterback for the chicago bears jim mcmahon he's the host of it and every couple seconds he goes wait a second what are we doing wait a second what is where am i? Wait a second, where am I?
Starting point is 01:03:26 It's like watching Memento in 30-minute integrals on VH1. It'll bring that network back. And then we can do a show on MTV called Girl Code Afghanistan where Taliban leaders just tell you what their wives are allowed to do. And that's Girl code in Afghanistan. They can walk behind me and they can show their eyes. And then the series is over.
Starting point is 01:03:54 It's a 30-second series where a Taliban member comes on and goes, they can walk behind me and they can show here. And you're going, okay, girl code. Dog the Bounty Hunter. behind me and they can show here and you're going okay girl code dog the bounty hunter lewis zappy in 1986 i assume that's when he was born says smell like wet dog and cigarette the bounty hunter he does look like he smells like wet dog i that's lewis is a black kid and i get why black people say we smell like wet dogs because we do you ever walk ever walk into a bar, like a crowded hipster bar? I don't know if they still exist now because they all left the city
Starting point is 01:04:29 to go back to Ohio. But when you walked into one of those bars and they were all drinking like Pabst Blue Ribbon, it did smell like a dog on a rain day. I do admit that. So Dog the Bounty Hunter's closing in. He'll get the job done yeah
Starting point is 01:04:47 Ravco Cadence Health speakwithadoctor.com which you know if you need to see a doctor this is my thing if you're having if you're coughing
Starting point is 01:05:00 if you're having a little trouble breathing because there's like some backup in there don't go see a doctor in person what you want to do is you want to sign on to speakwithadoctor.com I'm just going to do an ad read for them right now
Starting point is 01:05:12 they're incredible man I love to speak to a doctor virtually so he can examine me through zoom and tell me hey here's ivermectin, which I promise I don't get a cut of at all in any way, but it will cost you 90 bucks for consultation. And then when you see me again, 90 bucks for that.
Starting point is 01:05:39 And ush us in a bunch of doctors, Ravco and speakwithadoc.com, Canis Health US. We're not making any money. We're not profiting on this at all. We're not profiting on this market of people who are skeptical about the vaccine. We don't profit. We're trying to do this for the good of humanity
Starting point is 01:05:58 because you have to be careful of big pharma, like I said. Am I prescribing you pharmaceuticals from Big Pharma don't ask questions I'm prescribing you celery which you can get at any Farmer's Market okay I'm not telling you to take hydrochlorocloxine which is which they say is made by Big Pharma but don't pay attention to that the point is we don't want to support Big Pharma. I'm giving you ivermectin. Does Merck make ivermectin? Yes. Are they Big Pharma? You're missing the forest for the trees here, guy. The point is we don't want to support the Democrats. Do you get it? Do you love Trump or not? Now shut your mouth and take your
Starting point is 01:06:46 ivermectin cream. It helps. If you're a 27 year old and you're not overweight and you recovered, yes, it was ivermectin that made you recover. So take your ivermectin and don't forget your zinc, which has been a warrior in the fight against COVID viruses since the flu, baby. If you don't take that zinc, you're fucked. And you can get that at any natural food store. So we ain't here to make money. And by not make money, I mean 67 million. That was calculated just based on the hack.
Starting point is 01:07:28 Anyway, as a result of this, every one of these companies that were working together to provide these vaccine skeptics with prescriptions has disassociated with the other and said they had no idea this was going on. This was a hack in The Intercept. The Intercept has reported this, and I'm sure mainstream media will pick this up
Starting point is 01:07:50 because they love to dunk on whatever Trump is involved in. So you'll see this one. You won't see Obama. I think it was ABC. Yes, ABC. You won't see Obama shitting on Biden's border policy. You won't see Obama saying that we need a border. We're a nation state because that's going to get a lot of the Bernie bros fired up. It's going to get a lot of Bernie bros fired up.
Starting point is 01:08:24 They, you know, they don't like Obama. Obama to them was, is right wing. Okay. Little does everybody know. Now I enjoyed Obama because he's the type of president that holds things together. Okay. He was like the Jackie Robinson of presidents. So, you know, you go to those tea party rallies,
Starting point is 01:08:43 people were like hanging them up in effigy. They were calling his wife a man. And, uh, I remember that one woman that called his wife a man. And then you saw her and you were like, you look like a man. And, um, he just came out and he smiled and he did his thing and he bombed the shit out of the Middle East and he deported more illegals than any president before him. And he did it thing and he bombed the shit out of the Middle East and he deported more illegals than any president before him. And he did it with a smile. He carried a big stick and a full of shit smile.
Starting point is 01:09:12 And that's what you gotta be. You have to be efficiently full of shit, but you have to do it with charisma. If you're gonna be a politician, the people who become politicians are very similar to people who become comedians and entertainers sociopaths they're sociopaths and people with narcissistic personality disorder like me and drew
Starting point is 01:09:31 anyone who wants to be on camera like jesse's a normal guy who's happy with anything you throw that kid in an empty room he'll finger paint on a wall he's held he doesn't have any of those fucking mental illnesses okay he doesn't need to be heard he doesn't think out loud he doesn't have any of those fucking mental illnesses. He doesn't need to be heard. He doesn't think out loud. He doesn't say you have to hear what I want to say. He says, okay, believe what you want to believe. I'm over here. I'm finger painting.
Starting point is 01:09:51 I'm sculpting. I don't give a shit. Very similar. That's why they call DC Hollywood for ugly people because it's the same. It's people who are ambitious, want to be seen, want to be famous, and want to get rich from that visibility, from their fame. And that's why the Obamas are fucking multi-millionaires signing deals on Netflix.
Starting point is 01:10:13 That's why the Clintons are multi-millionaires. Because they get rich off the public office. You can't change that. Okay? But what you can do is do it with some fucking gusto give us some charisma Trump almost did it except he was like
Starting point is 01:10:34 too honest sometimes he'd be like why are we letting these shit hole countries you don't say that out loud you don't say you look around first
Starting point is 01:10:43 and you go who's here I can trust? Who can I trust? And you only say that to your daughter or millennia because she doesn't speak English. That's it. Because millennia can't say anything that wasn't written by Michelle Obama.
Starting point is 01:10:56 Do you understand that that just happened and then we just continued the country? Do you understand how much of, when the Romans fell, it was violent and stressful. When we're falling, it is downright, utterly hilarious. The first lady of the last president, there's a chance she was a mail order hooker. There's a chance. They say she was a model. I never remember seeing her in Victoria's Secret. I have seen the first,
Starting point is 01:11:32 former first lady's tits. That's what's happened. And then she gave a speech. She gave a speech where she completely plagiarized the speech Michelle Obama gave I mean are you hearing what I'm saying and we all kind of just went like ha ha ha ha and moved on because Trump was doing so many wild things but do you know how wild that is she just gave Michelle Obama's speech and And we were just like, okay,
Starting point is 01:12:05 because there came a point where she goes, okay, when you bought me, I did not sign up to be first lady of America. I'm not going to speak to people. I don't even know how to do a Slovenian accent. Where is she from? And then there was this article going around that said she was an architect
Starting point is 01:12:24 and she spoke eight languages. And if you still ask a lot of people now they will believe that they'll say she's a very classy woman michelle obama she's a fucking bitch and beast just dumb bitch like all right well she's a law school you know she's a lawyer she's a law graduate and they're going but millenn, what a classy woman. She speaks eight languages. No, she doesn't. She speaks one and a half. Whatever fucking foreign country
Starting point is 01:12:51 she comes from and then half of English. Slovenia. Slovenia. And that's it. She doesn't know architecture. She didn't go to college. That was a fake fucking article.
Starting point is 01:12:59 But who cares? They're both fucking pieces. I agree with that. Yeah. Now, I'll admit, Melania's a little bit more of a piece because pieces don't usually become lawyers. Nobody who's got a sweet half,
Starting point is 01:13:15 like Melania's gonna go, she doesn't need to. She was able to marry a pretend billionaire who has millions, but he's not as rich as he claims he is. And she was able to have a great life with gold toilets and all this shit, and give birth to some fucking eight foot kid. She didn't need to go to law school. So she's a little hotter, I'll be honest. I'll give Melania that. Melania is the hottest first
Starting point is 01:13:41 lady we've ever had next to Jackie. And then I put Michelle Obama three. Michelle Obama's kind of hot. I mean, she needs to be made up and shit, but so do these other fucking girls. Barbara Bush. You wanted to fuck Barbara Bush. I've never seen the pictures of her in her 30s. Oh, not Barbara Bush. I'll tell you, Laura Bush, who killed somebody with her car in high school,
Starting point is 01:14:01 that got pushed under the rug. She was kind of hot in a way when she was younger. But apparently on the scale of how hot First Ladies were, Drew goes straight to Barbara Bush. It's a character piece. I'll tell you what, Drew, you know,
Starting point is 01:14:18 that's what you call definitely thinking outside of the box. I don't think anyone would have Barbara Bush in their list of hot First Ladies. I think they might put George Bush on there before they put Barbara Bush. Let's look at Laura Bush when she was younger. She was pretty decent. I mean, she did have those eyes, like her eyes looked like maybe she was a little slow. Remember those eyes where they were like a little cross-eyed and she would just get up there and go, children need to learn. Children need to teach.
Starting point is 01:14:47 But let's see how much of a piece she was when she was young. So the ACLU McRook77 says also wasn't Nancy Reagan the blowjob queen? I don't know. I never heard that. That was next on my list. That was next on your list is Nancy Reagan.
Starting point is 01:15:05 Jess, who's your favorite? Not bad. Who do you go with? Melania? Number one? Definitely. Definitely Melania, right? I don't know.
Starting point is 01:15:16 Didn't she kill a guy? Yeah, she did kill a guy. You just must have come into the chat. Jackie had nudes too. Jackie had no nudes. Yeah. Jackie Onassis had no nudes. Jackie Kennedy had no nudes. Yeah. Jackie Onassis had no nudes. Jackie Kennedy had no nudes.
Starting point is 01:15:28 She's rocks. Google it. Yeah, we won't show it. Google it. There's no nudes of Jackie Onassis. Are you kidding me? She was like, there's no nudes of her.
Starting point is 01:15:36 She's, yeah, it could be a deep fake. There's no nudes of Jackie Onassis, Drew. Pull it up. Oval office only. Life only life liberty and labia from d donnelly four very nice taft was a chub but i bet his wife was a piece oh these were leaked like someone uh paparazzi caught her oh she does have nudes but yeah these were leaked these was this was a yeah this was uh an asshole reporter who just fucking...
Starting point is 01:16:06 Yeah, she does have nudes. A sexual predator, basically. Yeah, basically a sexual predator. Is that real or is it a deepfake? It's a real. Yeah, and of course it's on Ex Hamster, which I occasionally peruse. Occasionally.
Starting point is 01:16:20 Yeah. Yeah. I mean, Jackie Onassis was a piece, man. And this is in her older years too. She's still a piece. So General Miley has refused to apologize for calling the CCP and saying, we will not attack you.
Starting point is 01:16:43 A lot of Republicans are saying that's treason. He's defending it, saying whatever. I don't know how you defend that. I mean, I get, you know, I'm torn on that because when you think about the Cuban Missile Crisis, it was back-channel negotiations between RFK and one of Khrushchev's ambassadors. They privately met and they cooled things down.
Starting point is 01:17:14 This seems like something similar and then some reporter reported on it or whatever. But I don't know. I mean, I guess that's why they have to be back channel negotiations because if you get caught, that certainly is. It does seem guess that's why they have to be back channel negotiations because if you get caught, that certainly is, it does seem like that's terms for treason, right? You can't just, you know, and he said the Chinese were worried about an attack.
Starting point is 01:17:34 Well, it's like you need to, that's information you need to give your country that the Chinese is worried about an attack. So I'm torn on this one. That's an interesting one. What do you think? Treason? country that the chinese is worried about an attack so i'm torn on this one um that's an interesting one what do you think trees it drew of course you're gonna say yes i need to talk to somebody who's a little more experienced you're ready to go you'll fight the chinese right now right yeah jess treason yeah that's a tough one i mean it's not good, but...
Starting point is 01:18:05 Not good, but you understand where he was coming from. Well, the penalty for treason is death, right? So you're going to kill a guy for that? Right. Well, maybe we can convict him of treason and just give him a different penalty that all he can do for the rest of his life is watch Britney...
Starting point is 01:18:22 Huh? Is it even true that the penalty for treason is death? I mean, is anything I say in this true penalty for treason is death? I mean, is anything I say in this true? I said it. Yeah, I mean, but you're on the show. So it's like,
Starting point is 01:18:30 I think I got a 30% connect rate as far as true goes. But you can look it up. I'll put you in the high 60s. What did I miss? I'm still over Palin's Miss Alaska one-piece suit. Major fumes.
Starting point is 01:18:44 That's from Rob's mental playground, The Great Rob. Jay Harvin, 15, says, Jackie O was very uptight, wasn't really sexually free. The only time that she was on her knees was on the back of that car
Starting point is 01:18:56 in Dallas. That's a goodie. That was a goodie, Jay Harvin. That was a goodie. That was a goodie, Jay Harvin. That was a goodie. So homicides are up 30%. Homicides. Homicides. Homicides are up 30%. That would be like an old conservative grandparent
Starting point is 01:19:21 who heard you say homicides are up 30%. Like, I tell you what's up 30% there's gays everywhere homicide is up 30% they're not allowing men to be men anymore boys will be boys when I was a girl
Starting point is 01:19:35 guys just grabbed your pussy and nobody said anything about it what's the penalty for treason you just have to watch Britney Spears Instagram
Starting point is 01:19:46 for the rest of your life your penalty for treason is you have to get your news from long days with Giannis Pappas from here on in so the ACLU has apologized
Starting point is 01:19:59 because they tried to slip a rewrite of the great RBG, St. RBG. Let me just give her a good SNL salute to the girl that allowed Trump to fill the Supreme Court. You fucking idiots. Who's going to tell the Democrats that Roe v. Wade being circumvented in certain states
Starting point is 01:20:29 is RBG's fault because she didn't resign under Obama? Okay, I will. So the ACLU apologizes. What they did was they turned woman and she to person and person. So they changed the quote because obviously RBG was not thinking about trans people was not thinking about trans people when she was giving the quote. So what was the quote? Oh, it was her pro-choice quote. Okay, here's the quote. This is what the ACLU changed it to. The decision whether or not to bear a child is central to a person's life. Is it? Drew, is it central to your life? It ain't central to mine because I could knock you up and run away and continue to eat fucking hot dogs. I could continue to do meth while you're pregnant and it won't affect the baby. I could die while you're pregnant and it won't affect the baby. I could die while you're pregnant and it won't affect the baby. So I'm not sure, ACLU, if the decision is equal for me and the person
Starting point is 01:21:59 who gets pregnant. Now, if it's a person who get pregnant that really opens up the net of who can get pregnant and i'll tell you i'll tell you i uh i was with my wife when she was pregnant and i was on whatever what's the floor called is that the maternity ward or whatever wherever they wherever wherever dr huxtable works i was on that floor and i got very upset I got very upset with that hospital Let me explain to you guys why I went over to the front desk And I say listen to me guys There is not
Starting point is 01:22:34 One Trans woman here giving birth Is this hospital aware Of how it is discriminating Against Persons is this hospital aware of how it is discriminating against persons? And they said, we're sorry, we're going to look into that. And I said, you better fucking look into it because the only people I see here giving birth are women.
Starting point is 01:22:59 Where are the trans women giving birth? And they said, that's a good point. We're going to look into it. So if they change the rules at a certain hospital, I'm not going to give it away. You know who I'm talking about. It's because of me. I looked into it.
Starting point is 01:23:13 And then I went and I found out, I went further and I found out, I don't know if you guys are aware of this discrimination, but every single hospital in the world only has women giving birth. Okay? With a few trans men who some will argue,
Starting point is 01:23:37 and I call them bigots, some will argue who were at some point women. Yes. Yes. Exactly, Drew. Exactly. Exactly. So something has to be done about this discrimination against persons because it's only women allowed in these hospitals to give birth. And I've had enough of the discrimination and I know a lot of people have as well so the decision whether or not to bear a child is central to a person's life to their well-being and dignity when the government controls that decision for people they are being treated as less than a fully adult human responsible for their own choices.
Starting point is 01:24:28 That was the ACLU quote that was rewritten, no doubt, by a sexually ambiguous fat person with short hair, tits, and armpit hair. What Ruth Bader Ginsburg's Ruth Bader Ginsburg's original quote was, click on that, her original quote. Ruth Bader Ginsburg originally said,
Starting point is 01:24:55 only women give birth. A woman has a right to choose. I'm making that up. I'm just, what she said was... Drew can't find it. Well, she said that, but she just had she in there, right?
Starting point is 01:25:17 Because she was... Yeah, she said, when the government controls the decision whether or not to bury Travis... No, that's to a woman's life. She just had woman in place of person. So they just replaced the woman. You're not allowed to say, look, woman or she is the N-word of gender right now. You're not allowed to say it, okay?
Starting point is 01:25:42 So please, if you want to date a formerly known as woman, I want you to say, I want to date that person with tits. I want to date that person with a womb over there. Okay? Because if you say woman, it's confusing. You're pointing at someone. I don't know what they are. Okay. I could see someone and they have tits. Guess what? Tim Dillon has tits. I have tits right now. So don't even call him a person with tits. Cause that could be confusing. Some people will think that you're referring to John Goodman. No. You say person with a womb.
Starting point is 01:26:31 That's what women are to be called by now because that's the feminist thing to do. You're a person with a womb or a thing with a vagina. You're a body with a vagina that is the proper way to refer to you in a sensitive world where we're taking everyone's feelings into account except for bitches this is log days we'll see you next week. Now I'm going to itch my nose. All right, now for our small business shout outs.
Starting point is 01:27:09 You know, Yanni loves small business. So right away, got to give a shout out to my boy, Nate Linder. natelinder.com. He actually hit me up. He wants to be my social media manager. Your prices are too high considering I'm promoting you, Nate. I want you to come down. We're going to negotiate. natelinder.com.
Starting point is 01:27:26 Nate is great, Nate. I want you to come down. We're going to negotiate. natelinder.com. Nate is great, man. He will help you accomplish all your marketing goals and increase your sales revenue. He's just an, he's a guy who social media manages and strategizes. So natelinder.com and get a quote from him, help you grow your business or whatever you're doing, you know, your TikTok, whatever, whatever you're trying to to get bigger so more people will look at you. Then we've got Andrew Cuomo's secretary, okay? The safest person in the world right now is Andrew Cuomo's secretary because Andrew Cuomo is not her boss anymore. So, ZjamaRealty.com, you know the deal for all your commercial or apartment rental listings in
Starting point is 01:28:06 Brooklyn, Zjammarealty. That's who you hit up. You're a fan of this show, you're looking for a spot in Brooklyn, or you're looking for a business spot in Brooklyn, Zjammarealty.com. Talk to those screwed in Jews. All right. Then we got same thing if you're in South Florida, Uh, same thing if you're in South Florida, all right, and you want to get COVID. You're, uh, if you don't mind living in South Florida, are you trying to chase some Latin puss puss? Um, which is a good idea. You go to, you go see my boy, uh, Grant Trower, who's got one of the greatest names of all time.
Starting point is 01:28:39 Sounds like a, sounds like there should be a superhero. And then that's the name of the guy when he's not the superhero. It's like Clark Kent, Grant Trower. So go see Grant Trower who turns into Ant-Man or whatever. And you can contact Grant at 954-591-6465 or go to granttrower.theatlanticrealtygroup.com. Do a full home search. Grant will get you a spot in South
Starting point is 01:29:06 Florida. Then we got my man Squeegee Luigi, one of the greatest names of all time. Squeegee Luigi. You go to his page, which is GetTurntCo, GetTurntCo, and he creates every item he offers. So you can see his cannabis paraphernalia, his exotic dab tools, pipes, rolling trays, luxury pens, jewelry, self-defense gear. So you got to fucking, and his tools, furniture, and beyond. So if you're looking for a good bulletproof vest and a nice coffee table at the same time, but also want to smoke weed in that room, GetTurntCo has you covered. All right? Who watches TV without a bulletproof vest these days? You never know.
Starting point is 01:29:52 If you're in Long Island, you never know what MS-13 is going to crawl in the windows. So go see GetTurnt on the gram. Go to GetTurntCo. Now we got our favorite, Chris Minetti. They're all our favorite, but I mean, Chris Minetti's a fucking stand-up real guy. Chris Minetti's a guy who will cash your fucking check. Let me tell you something. If you forge one of my checks, okay, I got Jay Harvin here. If he steals one of my checks around here and fucking forges my name, there's one person who will cash it. Chris Minetti. You're going to have to drive out to fucking South Philly to get a cash, but you will steal my money because this motherfucker will cash monopoly checks whatever check you got chris manetti will cash it doesn't matter all right 215-750-3730 no website no social media no fucking irs involved
Starting point is 01:30:42 go see Chris Minetti just call him call Chris I bet you picked up the phone he says Chris Minetti how can I help you yeah you got a check on paper is your fucking pen on there
Starting point is 01:30:53 you're like yeah sorry Chris but I just this check has someone else's name on it just fucking bring it down here what's the name on it the name is Sally Fields. My name's Dan.
Starting point is 01:31:07 That's all right. Just put a fucking dress and a wig on. Come down here. I'll fucking cash a check for you at Minetti fucking financial services. 215-750-3730. If you're in the Philly, South Jersey area, go see Chris Minetti.
Starting point is 01:31:23 Michael Hamlet Jr., the Bronx brand, bronxbrand.com. Go support Bronx artists, the home of hip hop. Go check out Stories in the Bronx magazine. This is very cool. I have just bought a t-shirt from the bronxbrand.com. It is so cool. the artists they do a revenue share with them so they got cool prints up there they got art they got t-shirts all that stuff
Starting point is 01:31:52 so he said his long hauler name would be Black Lives Matter nah I mean so why isn't that your long hauler name cause he's trying
Starting point is 01:32:01 to be professional so his long hauler name is Michael Hamlet Jr nobody gives a shit that your father was the same name. Okay, you're Michael Hamlet, the Bronx brand founder. Michael Hamlet Jr. Okay, now you got to go write your book of poetry.
Starting point is 01:32:16 So go support the Bronx band, very cool. Similarly, if you want to support people in Hawaii, you want to support bands in Hawaii, you got to go to forthefree.us. Sorry. Yeah, forthefree.us. Go to forthefree. I pulled up a different one,
Starting point is 01:32:32 but forthefree.us to support bands in Hawaii to find out about events and bands who are local to Hawaii. If you're going to Hawaii and you don't check out forthefree.us, then you're a squeak. And also, just check them out anyway if you're a music fan, man. There's a lot of cool bands up there and I support what he's doing. Then we've got Reese Ormand, of course, Tech Vera for all your IT needs. If you're a smaller mid-sized business, if you're just yourself, whatever it
Starting point is 01:33:02 is and you need some IT support, they got you covered, man. They offer 24-7, 365 coverage, unlimited to support to their flat rate partners and cybersecurity, all that stuff. So if you're a company, you're looking to hire IT people, just hire TechVero. They'll do everything for you. Eastside Cheesecakes, Julia and Gregory, they're also available in Uncle Paulie's sandwich shops in LA, which I think there's two or three of them now. But you can go to eastsidecheesecake.com. Guess what?
Starting point is 01:33:31 They will be nationwide shipping in a few weeks. So I can't wait to start promoting them then because now you guys can get those cheesecakes sent to you and they're absolutely delicious. Everything's fresh. They make everything, including the cream cheese, they make it themselves. We tested fresh. They make everything, including the cream cheese. They make it themselves. We tested it.
Starting point is 01:33:47 It is long day approved. Okay? So Eastside Cheesecakes on the gram, eastsidecheesecakes.com. Aaron Leaf, you just got your read. Rob's mental playground. Robby. Robby's mental playground.
Starting point is 01:34:03 We got to keep, we got to support Rob to keep his mental a playground. We don't want to change it to Rob's mental institution. So go to robsmentalplayground.com. He posted a photo in the stories yesterday where he was showing me his foot. I think he's got, he said he has tendinitis in his ankle. I don't know from what, maybe you're listening to Squeaky Clean too much and you're bathing and you're, you're laying down too much and you're bathing and you're laying down too much
Starting point is 01:34:25 and you're not getting enough blood to your ankle, Rob. I don't know. But keep hairspraying your mustache and keep pumping out that dope art. Rob'sMentalPlayground.com. Rob'sMentalPlayground on the gram. He's part of the show. Go show him love on his gram, Rob's Mental Playground.
Starting point is 01:34:40 And then we got Jared Z from the Stinkbox. This kid, I mean, this kid should be paying. Exclusiveautoshipping.com. God damn it, you screwed in kid. Exclusiveautoshipping.com. You're gonna move your car anywhere in the country. Exclusiveautoshipping.com for your free quote. There's discounts for students and military.
Starting point is 01:35:03 So if you're moving anywhere or need to move your car, exclusiveautoshipping.com. Now to our Patreon members. All right, guys, patreon.com slash yannilongdays. Also get your merch at yannispapascomedy.com. Also, I got the links up for Phoenix and Maryland. So go get your tickets. YanisPapasComedy.com Patreon.com slash Yanni Longdays. Our new Patreon members. Christopher Swift.
Starting point is 01:35:33 Welcome. Steven. Tyler Grease. Paul Blum. Allison Kay. Alex. Denton Visual. Got a free read.
Starting point is 01:35:41 Steel Pipe Shep. Put my piece in her crease. Steel Pipe Shep. You my piece in her crease. Steel Pipe Shep, you win. And then Steven Greenfield. Thank you guys, patreon.com slash yannilongdays. We will see you next week. I got to sniss in. It's been a long day.

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