Yannis Pappas Hour - Truffle Pigs & Salt
Episode Date: October 3, 2021Yanni explores the end of art and the era of Salt Bae, how stupid pigs are, the Chinese gov’t messing with Boeing’s money and we all could care less about Canadian Miners trapped in a mine.Sponsor...sHello Fresh https://www.hellofresh.comPromo code: LongDays 14Babbelhttps://www.babbel.comPromo code: FUMESCanvahttps://www.canva.com/affiliates/FUMES/?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=v1&utm_medium=LongDays%20with%20Yannis%20Pappas&_branch_referrer=H4sIAAAAAAAAA8soKSkottLXT07MK0vUy03VT9VPK81NLQYAVQ%2F%2BbBgAAAA%3D&$web_only=true&_branch_match_id=972995567372802692The show goes out every Saturday night at 9 to youtube and podcast audio platforms but while it's being recorded the show goes LIVE on Yannis' Instagram!Come join in on the LONG DAY & Follow Yannis PappasInstagram - https://www.instagram.com/yannispappas/Twitter - https://twitter.com/yannispappasWebsite - https://www.yannispappascomedy.com/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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I believe I can fly. I believe I can touch the sky. I think this was a dream I had last night.
But then I went to court and they gave me a guilty sentence. So my career is over because
I'm only attracted to high school chicks. Aaliyah, I'm
coming to you, baby. See, the only thing about R. Kelly is he probably wants to die because when
you die at that age, you stay the same age. So when he sees Aaliyah again in heaven, she'll still
be 17. This is long days. What else is going on? South Korea is thinking about banning eating dogs.
So if you've been to South Korea because you do business with Samsung through some affiliate in America and you ordered the spaghetti bolognese, I am sorry, you ate dog.
What else is going on?
The ACLU wants to apologize for changing RGB's quote to gender neutral.
She didn't say that.
She said her.
She said she in the quote.
Fucking bad.
Bad hurt.
Knocked down a statue of her.
If there was a statue of RBG, you'd knock her down.
But you'd also get arrested for elder abuse.
Because she's been a hunter for a long time, longer than Morgan Freeman.
What else is going on?
General Miley is defending his call, warning the Chinese that there will be no attack from America under the Trump administration
and Republicans are pissed.
We're getting into that.
Is he treasonous or did he save us from a war with China? Tune in to find out. Also,
there was 39 miners who were stuck in a mine in Ontario, Canada, but nobody cares because we've
seen that movie before. Homicides are up 30% in America,
so fuck the propaganda.
Yeah, this kid's screwed in, got a lot to say.
Aw, shit.
This about to be a long day.
It's a long day.
It's a long day coming.
Listen, we just don't care about anything happening in Ontario, Canada.
We don't care what the Raptors are doing.
We don't care what Justin Trudeau's doing.
They always try to make the news and we just say, can you guys please just send us a few of your
good comics and shut the fuck up? Just give us Jim Carrey, give us Martin Short, give us Shania
Twain, and that's about it. Okay. Maybe a little Steve Nash will take. Otherwise, we need you guys to zip it.
Okay?
You live up top, and we want you to be quiet.
That's all.
So, you had 39 miners who were caught in a mine,
and it didn't make the news until they were rescued from the mine,
which I think is pretty funny.
And I was even contemplating on putting the story on the
show because who cares about miners caught anywhere that aren't in chile okay they were that's how
boring canada is okay if you want to know the forecast for canada it's boring with a chance
of rain they were caught there you know the Chilean miners were probably
doing cool stuff in the mind they were probably going like creating their own salsa music with
their mouths going and they dance with each other it's a very sexualized culture Latin culture is
very sexualized so one of them probably put on a wig and was like how you doing I'm going to be
we've been down here 30 we've been down here for 30. So I'm going to be the filmia and let's dance. And then they probably had sex
with each other, role played, created their own salsa music with their mouse. They probably started,
you know, figuring out ways to cook bugs and figured out a way to make chipotle sauce.
They did a lot of fun stuff. They made it colorful and fun. Canadians probably sat
there and like just stared at each other and went, eh? And then at one point they had an argument
over like a couple of bugs that they were going to eat. And one of them went, you want a fucking
goal, bud? You want a fucking goal? I'll fucking drop the mitts right now and goal, bud.
fucking goal I'll fucking drop the mitts right now and go bud so that story's over they're rescued they went back to their families whatever nobody gives a shit about minors in Canada I got a snooze
in and I'm activated today and as you'll see the snooze will move around my mouth and as I have
watched these videos back I scratch my nose a lot because my nose itches a lot and it's itching right now and I'm going to try not to
and I also move the snooze around a lot
so I just look like a mentally ill person
delivering the news all the time
I'm scratching my nose
and I'm doing this a lot
but that's the way you like it
okay
it looks like this is a talent show
at a mental institution
this looks like a cable access show at Bellevue.
So yeah, South Korea, I didn't know. I didn't know. I'm a big dog lover. That's one of my passions
is dogs. I did not know that they were eating dogs. I thought it was only the Chinese that
were eating dogs. Now, a lot of people on the other side of the issue always say, you have to understand pigs are smarter than dogs. Are they?
Have you heard that? Has anyone heard that? People say that? Are pigs smarter than dogs? You fuck.
Are the pigs the ones that live in our houses and herd our sheep and can smell cancer on you? I'm sorry. When's the
last time Nicole Richie's pet pig did a round at the airport to find out if someone had fucking
Al Qaeda juice on them to blow up anything? When does that happen? When's the last time you saw
someone walking their very domesticated pig? Where's a pig park where the pigs can just
hang out while the owners tweet and not pay attention to tweets and then not pay attention
to their pigs and the pigs fight and then they break up the pigs where's the pig dog parks
are pigs smarter than dogs are they did they send in the pigs on 9-11 to search for dead bodies underneath the
rubble can you stop tweeting at me that pigs are smarter than dogs because you're dumb and you
don't know what you're talking about dogs evolved with us for probably close to 30 to 45 000 years 45,000 years to defend us, defend us against lions, Al Qaeda, Chinese, China flu, and against
TikTokers. The dogs have defended us against all enemies since the beginning of time.
In fact, until we linked up with dogs, we weren't even the apex predator on this planet.
We never linked up with pigs.
They never go to an ancient Roman or Viking burial ground
and see one of the noblemen from Pompeii
who was buried in fucking lava,
buried with his dog.
I mean, buried with his pig.
Fuck, it came too early, the first Hey Biden.
There's no pigs buried with Robin Nobleman.
Where's my glasses?
Where are my glasses?
I can't see what you're posting.
Can you pass me my glasses?
I need my glasses.
If you ever need your glasses
and you don't make that voice,
you're a Nazi.
Where are my glasses?
Pigs are actually considered the fifth most intelligent animal in the world.
Okay, intelligence is relevant.
They're not smart enough to not end up on a fucking Cuban guy's sandwich.
So not too intelligent to me, okay?
That's like saying cows and chickens are also the eighth and tenth smartest animal on the planet.
And plus, that's not saying much
because how many intelligent species are there?
There's us, there's chimps, there's dogs,
and then there's a big fucking drop-off, okay?
That's like saying, look, they're the eighth most intelligent.
That's like saying they're the eighth best player on the Jets.
It's still they're on the Jets.
So it's a low standard.
They're claiming, Drew, you pulled up a website called Mercy for Animals.
So, of course, they're going to skew.
They're going to tell me that pigs can play video games
because what they were just about to say is pigs can play video games.
Can they?
When's the last time you sat down to play NBA 2K with a fucking pig?
And I'm not talking about coppers who come by your house
and say, hey, how you doing?
Listen, we just need you to keep the noise down.
Your next door neighbor
is saying you're making too much.
What are you playing there?
Oh, you got 2K?
Let me save for a little bit, Captain.
Hey, Sarge, I'm over here.
Yeah, I'm doing business.
Come on.
LeBron wants the cookies.
Okay, pigs are one
of the cleanest animals.
Duff, is this another PETA website
you pulled up? Pigs are filthy and
they roll in shit. Can you fucking vegetarians please stop the propaganda about pigs being smart?
They were meant to be eaten. Have you ever been to a pig roast or had a Cuban sandwich?
Now, I don't eat pigs because they're filthy fucking animals. This is how stupid pigs are. They used to use the
pigs to find the truffles, right? That's why we would call agents and managers truffle pigs
because they would sniff out the money. They replaced the pigs because the pigs were so
fucking stupid. They'd find the truffles, but then they would eat the truffles.
And truffles are worth a lot of money.
So they replaced them with dogs because dogs know how to sniff it.
And then all you got to do is throw a rope in the dog's mouth and it wags its tail and it's happy just because you love it.
Pigs don't look for affection.
I don't care how many of you animal rights activists tell me that pigs are cool. Pigs are actually in the wild.
They're very aggressive and vicious and they're ugly. So who is ever going to like an animal that's ugly?
Dogs are cute for a reason that's to win us over. I am sorry, ugly women. I am sorry that most men are superficial and want to bang pretty women, okay? But it's the
way nature's set up. Dogs are the pretty chicks, Instagram models, and pigs, they write for HuffPo.
That's just what it is. So R. Kelly's getting locked up.
Is there no justice in this world anymore?
Can he still make his albums from jail?
Because that would be a very fun video
if he makes a remix of I Believe I Can Fly
and it's just him on the yard.
And then you see him believing,
like I Believe I Can Fly is just his dream to escape
and then some CGI animation
just takes him up and he's in the air
and then he's flying
and then he does all the old things he likes to do
like peruse local high schools
and take girls to get a happy
meal at McDonald's
would you rather leave your kids
with A,
R. Kelly,
B,
Chris D'Elia,
C,
D,
Ted Kaczynski,
the Unabomber.
Ted.
Ted, Jesse?
Yeah, Ted K Jesse? Ted, Jesse.
Yeah, Ted Kaczynski,
who bombed and killed people,
just won.
You'd rather leave your kid with him.
He might,
because Ted Kaczynski might show your kid
some cool bomb-making stuff,
whereas R. Kelly is just gonna be like,
sit on my lap.
Sit on my lap and let me hear you sing.
Very interesting story about Salt Bae.
He was interviewed.
Do you guys know who Salt Bae is?
He's a little Turkish guy who sprinkles the salt on meat
and became one of the biggest celebrities in the world.
And then we wonder where art has gone.
Where has art gone?
Seriously, where is it?
I turn on the TV.
I don't see a lot of it.
I turn on the internet.
It's nowhere to be found.
Where is art?
Because all I see is addison ray dancing
salt bay sprinkling salt on steaks so where where's art does does people want art anymore
or do they want salt bay so salt bay and I don't know how to feel about this.
I'm asking you.
Salt Bae was an obscure meat cutter
who lived from Turkey.
Okay, now maybe I'm harboring some resentment
because he's Turkish.
But for some reason,
but for some reason the world over
found it very fascinating
that he would sprinkle salt
on the steak like that
and then from there
it was what they call
lightning in a bottle.
It was lightning in a bottle
to the point where now he has a chain
of steak houses
where, I kid you not,
I think he charges like $600
for a fucking skirt steak.
Can you pull up the prices on,
because all you do when you go,
if you go, once in a while,
I like to go and read the reviews for restaurants. If you want to read fun reviews, I mean, if you guys want to have fun, let me give you some tips on how to stay, have fun. One is to check in on
Britney Spears' Instagram once in a while. She's still twirling and she's still taking psychotic selfies i don't know what's
going on she's free and she won't run maybe she has stockholm syndrome another way is to check in
on salt bay's reviews at his steakhouses because okay here's one salt bay somebody was so upset with the check at Salt Bae that they posted it.
And it read total $1,812.
So that's what it'll cost you to get two apps, a steak, and a bottle of wine at Salt Bae's.
But you don't pay.
You don't pay for the quality.
You don't pay for the quality. You don't pay for the quality.
Quality is so fucking boomer right now.
You pay for the chance that Salt Bae might come out from the kitchen
in his platform sneakers that he wears because he's 5'3".
So he wears Sylvester Stallone pumps. He may come out in his sunglasses
and might cut the meat for you and throw a little fucking salt off his elbow
onto your steak. That's what you pay for. Let's look at the bill.
First of all, so you get one Nasred Godfather is 18 bucks.
That's probably bread.
So you got two Coca-Colas, that runs you about 18 bucks.
Okay, that's pretty standard New York prices.
Two cafes, 200, here we go.
Here we go, here we go.
One giant tomahawk, $630. $630.
giant tomahawk $630.
Salpe,
this was the deal as it goes out to you.
Was the dollars.
Salpe now has about
how many million followers
on his thing?
And don't get me wrong.
There's been many a nights
where I just scrolled
Salpe's Instagram
and watched him
sprinkle salt on steaks in many different ways
and in many different places. And he's very talented at flipping the knife and throwing the
salt. But if Salt Bae's popularity was not an indication that all standards have dropped,
that all standards have dropped,
you got another thing coming.
We're basically living in the Salt Bay economy right now, okay?
Where if you see one clip on Instagram that catches your attention
because it was set to the right music,
had the right filter, had everything,
someone will become a celebrity off that.
And then when you see them live and they put on their show you're going like you're writing a review going i went to salt bae's restaurant the steak tasted like a boot and salt bae wasn't even
there to sprinkle salt on my steak and i I paid $1,200. I paid $630 for one steak.
Okay, so that's Salt Bae before his video went viral.
He looks a lot like Ronaldo before he got his first check
as a professional football player. Have you ever seen old pictures of Ronaldo?
Like his teeth were all jacked up. He looked like a kid who grew up in a favela,
who got no medical attention. He had acne. He said, yeah, do it before and after. So there you go.
That was Ronaldo before money. And that's Ronaldo after money. Money can change anything,
baby. You ever see Marilyn Monroe when she was just normal without makeup on? Yeah, she looks
like Roseanne Barr. And then you see her at, and we just saw a picture of Salt Bae in the kitchen.
He just looked like a bar back at a French restaurant in Brooklyn.
He looked like a little Mexican kid.
Yeah, I mean,
I mean, she could still
catch it over there,
to be honest with you.
Marilyn Monroe
could still catch it.
But go to when,
like a before,
like go to Marilyn Monroe
without makeup on
or when she was Norma Jean
or whatever her
fucking fake name is.
I mean,
dude, marketing
is so powerful. She could still catch it. Yeah.
God, you know, how many dicks do you think she was trying to erase from her memory that
she didn't want to suck with all those pills she was gobbling down her gullet. Every pill was one fat studio executive's dick
that she was trying to erase from her memory.
Okay?
There's nobody in the history of show business
who wanted to get the men in black fucking blink
more than Norma Jean.
Because back then, what separated a Marilyn Monroe
from a whoever walking down the street?
It's dicks.
Dicks.
Why do you think she took so many fucking pills?
To forget.
We all want to forget the compromises we make.
Was it worth it, Norma?
Was it worth it. Was it worth it, Norma? Was it worth it?
Was it worth it to become Marilyn Monroe,
who everyone aspires to be, famous and rich and adored,
but nobody knows the real you.
You're just Norma Jean from some Midwestern town
who was used
as a sex object
and were put on screen
because
you sold that
sultry sexual energy
and you
were picked
because some
rich disgusting
fat studio
exec
who
Harvey Weinstein
continued the tradition of,
put his fucking fat, meaty paws on you.
And then you had to take pills every night to try to erase the memory.
And now we got Salt Bae, very similar to Marilyn Monroe.
Before he was Salt Bae, what's his real name?
His real name is, Turkish Chef said,
right,
prices shocked Twitter.
Turkish Chef opens his new restaurant
and the prices shocked Twitter.
So he opened a new,
so he's got restaurants in like London
New York.
He's got like 20 restaurants
dude and they're packed
and you go there
and the steak
tastes like shit.
There's a good chance
it's probably not even steak.
It really could just be like
the back of a dog leg
because one of his investors is South Korea.
South Korea, I'm very disappointed in you.
I have a Samsung TV.
Guess what?
I'm smashing it tonight and I'm getting an LG.
Who makes LG?
Who makes LG?
I need to know right now
because I'm replacing my Samsung with LG.
And if you want to know who wins
between iPhone and Samsung,
iPhone's in the lead.
But here's another reason to get an iPhone.
Okay?
Fuck Steve Jobs' daughter.
Nobody cares about her.
Okay?
That's the only reason I could think of
to not get an iPhone.
And the fact you could also say that Apple collaborates with Chinese companies
and allows them to make their, what's they called, Jesse?
Those little things?
Microchips.
The microchips.
But what are they called more specifically?
Semiconductors.
That's another reason why you could boycott iPhones
because Asian companies make 88%
of the semiconductors that go into smartphones, which now rule the world.
And that begs the question, wow, that gives them a lot of power.
And Apple went over there for cheaper labor and works with those companies who provide
those semiconductors that go into the phone that are probably watching you jerk off to
Transporn to blackmail you later.
But such is the world.
Or if you're, you feel empathy for his daughter,
that he made those iPhones and didn't pay attention to her.
But now you have a reason to boycott Samsung.
They eat dogs, okay?
I wouldn't even eat my dog if I was starving on a mountain.
I would eat Drew first.
I'd take him down. I'd trick him first by telling him, hey, look, there's a sneaker store down that
way that you can resell your sneakers. And also, we got a couple of pitos we need to hunt down.
And he'd go, where, where, boss, where? And then I would get behind him, and I'd choke him out,
and then I would eat the meat. And I would look the other way that one of the meat chops has part of a Jesus Christ cross on it.
Yeah, what body part would you start with?
I would start with the middle of the cross on your back.
One of your Catholic tattoos.
Which, you know, when I see those tattoos on you, Drew, it makes me know that from the beginning you were an independent thinker
you know you weren't somebody who just went along with what people told you said you know what
what are these catholic scholars telling me let me think about this a little bit maybe i'll be a
muslim maybe i'll be a buddhist you were very ambiguous about what you believed at the beginning
well someone told me you need jesus so I got a tattoo of him on my chest.
You have to trust whoever someone is.
You made the right decision.
That was my mother.
Mother.
Okay, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I'm saying this, Mom.
I'm just joking.
I support the Catholic Church
and what they do
and the good work that they do around the world
to clean up all these unwanted kids,
and get them off the street.
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Now listen, they do put a lot of dogs down, right?
I'm a dog lover, but let's say nature hasn't adapted to the point where there's only like
two or three puppies.
Dogs still have like six puppies because in nature,
animals have multiple offspring
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or three and the other three die.
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And there's just too many dogs and not enough people to take all the species. And dogs continue to have large litters. And there's just too many dogs
and not enough people to take all the dogs.
So a rational person would say,
well, why don't you eat the rest of the dogs?
So at least they don't go to waste.
But I can't be rational on this issue.
And faith is stronger than reason.
Don't eat the dogs,
even if you're starving and you need the protein,
okay? Also, hydrochloroquine does cure cancer. Just try it, okay? Try it. Give it a shot.
Give hydrochloroquine a shot. Give ivermectin a shot, okay? Who is the NIH, the CDC, and the WHO, and every, every fucking person to tell you
that ivermectin and hydrochloroxine don't work for curing Kivit? They're not, okay? And that's
why I support the Frontline Doctors Alliance, Okay, I support them.
I support RAVKU.
I support cadencehealth.us
and I support speakwithanmd.com
because you know,
and I'm saying,
hey, speakwithanmd.com,
I'm open for sponsorships.
Speakwithanmd.com,
AFLDS, cadence health.us ravco and frontline doctors
they've been hacked they got they were hacked by an internet hacker who remains anonymous
who was hacking them to show how precarious their security system was.
Now, what was he able to hack?
All their personal information, their prescriptions, what they were being prescribed, what they
were paying, their social security numbers, their addresses, all that non-important information
that people don't hold sacred. So they hacked, they hacked,
they hacked the site. It's, they hacked, which, who did they hack specifically though? It doesn't
matter. They hacked them all and they were all working in concert so ravku was the company that was uh acting as sort of they call it an uber of
prescriptions so you so frontline doctors wrote the prescriptions ravku sent the prescriptions
uh through speakwiththemd.com and cadencehealth.us.
And they filled all these prescriptions for ivermectin and hydrochloroxine.
And we're making, it's estimated up to from somewhere between $67 million to who knows how much,
$100 million, $200 million, charging these people $90 for a consultation
and $60 for prescription, whatever.
And they were charging them
for these phone consultations or whatever.
And they were prescribing them
ivermectin and hydrochloroxine and zinc,
which is an important vitamin in the war against COVID,
as is exercise and as is hydration.
So I support the frontline doctors in their effort
to offer an alternative to the mainstream because that's what we need is all
an alternative um i believe the same thing for cancer i believe the same thing for cancer
we got to think outside the box okay all these john hop, NYU, Harvard,
they're in this tight box of the scientific method
where they do study after study and control study,
where they get into the lab
and they try to come up with treatments
that work over and over and over again.
They study it.
That's in the box.
We need to think outside the box.
For example, fountain soda.
Does that not cure depression?
You're sad.
When you have a fountain soda, how fucking happy do you get?
Okay.
Now, why isn't anyone looking into the fact that Prozac is made by Big Pharma
and Coca-Cola is made by big business.
There's no way out of the funhouse
because ivermectin is made by Merck.
Merck is Big Pharma.
So how do you escape big pharma is there any firefighters who are making
anti-retroviral drugs for the people we need to get out of this big pharma loop now i understand
big pharma wants to make a lot of money and they prescribe all their pills to you you walk
into a psychiatrist's office they're're like, take all these.
I understand.
They're giving the doctors free pens and shit
and they're saying prescribe this stuff
and they do it.
But there is an FDA, CDC, WHO standard.
I know it's regulation.
I know libertarians hate it.
I know libertarians hate it.
But libertarians,
what do we do with unfettered capitalism
that allowed all our jobs to go to China
and then we looked the other way at the slave labor
because we wanted to get in bed with them
and now they're fucking us.
How did that turn out?
How did unfettered capitalism
and the free market that went and sought cheaper labor in other countries turn out for our country?
It hasn't turned out that good right now because China is whooping our ass.
What they're doing is saying, hey, how you doing?
Listen, they're doing it like the mob.
They do it like the mob.
Okay, I'll be President Xi going, hey, how you doing?
So listen, you want to make iPhones?
All right, that's good.
You're making iPhones.
That's nice.
Here's the deal.
I can offer you a great deal on labor.
I'm talking about we pay these fucking kids in dog meat.
You know what I'm talking about?
We give them a fucking dog sandwich, and we hit them up with a fucking 17 cents American. I'm talking about we pay these fucking kids in dog meat. You know what I'm talking about?
We give them a fucking dog sandwich,
and we hit them up with a fucking 17 cents American.
They work for 12 fucking hours,
and if they fuck up, we fucking beat them.
We beat them and throw them off the fucking roof because there's a billion of them.
We don't care.
There's a fucking billion.
So I give you that, right?
And I will make sure these guys are efficient, not like your fucking
fat American workers, you got who want to smoke break, they want to fucking go to Taco Bell,
not that shit, these kids aren't allowed to fucking eat, all right, we fucking put a food tube in them
while they're on the fucking line in the factory, and the food gets injected to them while they work,
so I can save you a lot of money that way.
Save you a lot of money.
Here's what I need you to do for me.
I got this company, Tang Jing Tang, and I need you to allow Tang Jing Tang
to kind of work with you.
So you tell Tang Jing Tang what you need
as far as the fucking semiconductors.
You know, the whole brain.
We put the brain in.
Let us put the brain in.
Don't worry about it.
We're not going to sell any of them off the back of a truck.
Who does that?
We're not going to steal any of the information that we learned from Apple on how these fucking phones work.
That's not what we do.
You can trust me.
I'm a good fucking guy.
I'm a good fella.
I'm a made guy.
I don't fuck around.
Let's make money together.
Let's fucking make money together.
Don't worry. I got you. Then you turn around.
The next thing you know, China and the rest of Asia makes 88% of the semiconductors that go in
iPhones. I would call that a dependency. And then when America says, hey, hey, China, thanks for that great deal.
You saved me a lot of money on my bottom line with having my factories over there to make
these iPhones. They're selling worldwide. Yeah, we cut you in. We cut that, your Chinese company,
and it worked out for everybody. And we're taking a lot of your exports. Thank you for sending your meat and your plastic
shit that fills up 99 cent stores and makes housewives with short haircuts and neck fat
feel very good around Christmas and fucking Thanksgiving and Halloween. My fucking wife
goes to the fucking 99 cent store and buys every little fucking plastic pumpkin that you have in a joint and
throws them all over the fucking living room. So thank you for that. And they end up in a
fucking landfill or a turtle's mouth. We appreciate it. Thank you. We buy so much from you. Thank you
for the rubber and all the shit that gets sent here. We love to take your shit and buy your shit.
That gets sent here.
We love to take your shit and buy your shit.
Now, scratch my back a little bit.
I got a bunch of Boeing planes.
I got a bunch of Boeing planes.
Pull it up, Drew.
I got a bunch of Boeing planes here that I need to unload.
Make some money, you know?
We made you money.
Make me some fucking money, Jerry, okay?
Will you buy my planes?
Pull it up, Drew. Boeing, China, Google it. Will you buy my planes? Will you? And China goes, hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, are you
fucking breaking my balls here? You fucking breaking my balls. We're making a lot of good money on these fucking
These fucking uh
Semiconductors and the fucking iPhones
Okay we're making a lot of fucking money over here
We make the plastic
You sell the fucking plastic
I mean what's the deal
And they go wait a second here
You're asking me to sell 72 fucking thousand
of these fucking things?
We already got planes.
We already got, we don't need it.
We don't need your fucking planes.
And they say, hey, listen, we got the planes,
we need to sell them.
We need to unload these fucking things.
We made the planes.
I can't just put these fucking planes in a 99 cent store.
There ain't no fucking housewives buying planes.
You need to buy the planes.
So then you arm up.
Then we get scared of you.
And then we fucking make more weapons.
You know, it's the thing that keeps going.
You know what I mean?
And they go, we don't need them.
Why don't you, uh, why don't you fucking go fuck yourself?
Huh?
We already got the fucking planes.
And we're going, wait a second.
I didn't know you had planes.
How'd you make the planes?
How do you think we made the planes?
We got in business with you.
You showed us how to make the planes.
And we had all the fucking parts over here.
We had all the fucking labor over here.
We made our own fucking planes.
So, if you want to sell me your
fucking planes, it's going to come
with a fucking steep tariff.
You got to cut me a little something off the
top. Alright?
So I will charge you
for you to charge me.
And you go,
wait a second, isn't that extortion?
And you go, stop fucking breaking my balls over here.
We're all trying to make fucking money.
God, they're good.
Smart, dude.
You can't not stand in awe of this plan
and this execution that the CCP has been undertaken
for, how long's it been?
Just years.
Years.
So, scroll down.
Go to the Reuters story.
So it's, just go to Secretary of,
Secretary Gina Romero
and Boeing
and you'll pull it up.
So she's sounding the alarm.
Secretary Romero
sounding the alarm
and saying, listen,
we need to fight back
against the Chinese economy.
I have a message to you,
Secretary Gina Romero.
It's too late.
It's too late.
They're already winning.
They already have the upper hand.
Because a lot could argue capitalism is the best, worst system.
is the best worst system.
When it's unfettered
and all you seek is profit motive,
naturally,
you follow the profit
wherever it is,
no matter the morality
or consequences of it.
That's what we did.
We went to seek
cheaper labor across seas,
took all those jobs,
took all that manufacturing power that we had, and we turned it into profit for the heads of these multinationals and gave China all the power and know-how how to make it. Thinking they would just continue to be our bitch
and make all our shit
and never want to make their own shit
and grow and compete with us.
But that's not the way it goes.
That's why whenever you have a protege, right,
or someone working for you like Drew, okay?
Drew's gonna stay here for a little while
and then right before he wants to cut my head off,
I'm throwing him out the window
because I know what he's up to.
He wants to sit in his chair
and he wants to rant to you
and tell you his joke
about how women
don't want to look at you
when they're having sex.
So,
Drew the pedo hunter.
So, the US says
Chinese government
is blocking Boeing airplane purchases.
So U.S. Commerce Secretary Gina Romero
said on Tuesday,
the Chinese government was preventing
its domestic airlines from buying
tens of billions of dollars from the U.S.
We need that fucking money.
Listen, you know who we are right now?
Keep it right there.
We are Ray Liotta in Goodfellas at the end
going to see, what's his name?
Paul Servino.
Listen, I know I fucked up.
I did.
I know what I did.
I'm sorry.
It won't happen again.
I gotta give you this money and turn my back on you.
I understand.
I mean, I'm gonna rat on you and put you in prison, but I'm gonna take this money. turn my back on you. I understand. I mean, I'm going to rat on you and put you in prison,
but I'm going to take this money.
Thank you.
I know what I did.
I know what I did.
Because China's going to go,
I'm going to give you one-tenth of that.
Now I got to turn my back on you.
Now I got to turn my back on you, America.
I can't give you tens of billions of dollars.
I can give you a couple mil for it
because you're going to have to pay me an import tax of let's say tens of billions of dollars.
How's that sound? You want me to buy these planes? It's going to cost you for me to buy the planes.
So we're going to be partners in the sale of the planes because I have the market. And then we're
going to go, wait, that's not fair. We were letting you sell your shit. And then they go, yeah, of course.
Because your companies were making money distributing the shit we made. And we knew
that you would turn the other cheek when we were doing this because we know you're greedy fucking pigs you're not dogs
we eat the dogs but we don't eat pigs and you're a fucking pig so we used your greed against you
and we fucking saved all that money we don't give it to the people the people make the shit don't party gets it. It's CCP. La familia. La cosa nostra. Can you say it in Chinese? We get
the money. And so now, you know, now you're calling me the bad guy? What were you doing
with your people? You took their jobs so you could make a little money. You got your fucking beak wet. And now that
your beak's wet, you go, what happened? You did it. You did it to yourself. China is basically
Al Pacino in what's the movie? Angel. What's the movie with Keanu Reeves? Come on, man. Fuck. Come on, man. Devil's advocate.
Devil's advocate.
Wait a second.
I didn't,
you made those decisions.
Scroll down.
Boeing shares fell 2.6 on Tuesday.
Scroll down.
She says,
she goes on to say,
Ray Motto,
Secretary of Commerce,
goes on to say,
the Chinese need to play by the rules.
I'm sure they're going,
okay.
I'm sure the Chinese are going,
oh, okay,
we didn't know you wanted us to play by the rules.
I apologize.
This whole time,
we didn't know. You never said, you know, you never just came out and said you wanted us to play by the rules. I apologize. This whole time, we didn't know.
You never said, you know,
you never just came out and said we need to play by the rules.
So it's my bad.
We'll play by the rules from now on.
The Chinese need to play by the rules.
We need to hold their feet to the fire
and hold them accountable.
It's too late.
It's too late.
You already can't breathe. You got COVID. There ain't no vaccine for you.
Boeing chief executive Dave Calhoun in March urged the United States to keep human rights
and other disputes separate from trade relations with Beijing. That's basically going, shut up,
bitch. Okay. We know that they're putting fucking Uyghur Muslims
in fucking internment camps.
We know.
But don't fuck with our money right now, okay?
Just leave that off the table and shut your fucking mouth.
I'm the CEO of Boeing.
I'm trying to make some money here.
I don't give a fuck about Uyghur Muslims, okay?
That's their way.
They control their ghettos.
That's their culture.
That's their way they control their ghettos that's their culture that's their culture
okay don't don't you respect um human rights and civil rights shut the up we're making a deal
here it's my deal gene it's my deal we're we're him in fargo it's my deal gene so he's telling
the secretary of comics please just make that a
separate issue. Human rights are a separate issue because she bunched that in. She said, also,
there's human rights violations that we need to hold them accountable for. And the Boeing CEO said,
shut up. I'm trying to get these billions of dollars.
Boeing estimated that the Chinese airlines will need 8,700 new airplanes through 2040,
1.2% higher than its previous prediction of 8,006 planes.
Let me change that for you.
Boeing hopes the Chinese airlines will need 8,700 planes.
Please take them.
China's aviation authority, the first regulator to ground the Boeing 737 MAX
following two deadly crashes
has yet to approve
the return of service
for the aircraft
in their country
China accounts for
a quarter of
Boeing's orders
of all aircraft
so
who's dependent on who now
the tables have turned
the student
has become the teacher
this podcast is not brought to you by the CCP the student has become the teacher.
This podcast is not brought to you by the CCP,
but I'm open to it.
I'm open to it.
I hope what you guys,
you guys are watching and you like what I'm saying,
please pay me under the table.
I'll promote ivermectin.
I'll post fake shit.
I will help continue to rip this country apart.
Whatever you need, just send me some yen.
I need some fucking yen, guy.
I got a daughter now.
You think I care about morality anymore?
I will do whatever.
So Boeing lifts China jet demand estimate
over two decades to 1.4 trillion.
So did I explain that well with the mafia analogy?
Perfect.
You do a great Leota.
That was a pretty decent Leota, right?
Earlier this month, Boeing revised the long-term forecasts.
Okay, maybe they don't need 8,700.
Maybe they need 2,300.
Maybe you need 1,000.
Just take a few off my hands.
There's nobody else to buy these fucking things.
They're made and I need to,
we need liquid.
Jay Harvin, 15.
Yanni wants China to send him money
in a box with a ribbon on it
but best believe
it's gonna be in a bento box
why are you not giving us attention
from the Greek bastard
someone who didn't get attention
from his father
I'm here
you never know how
comment roulette is going
to go down.
I did not know that Asia made 88% of the semiconductors.
That'll make a great Keanu Reeves action movie
where Keanu Reeves goes into Taiwan
to try to get the semiconductors.
Maybe that's also why China wants Taiwan, right?
They've always wanted them.
They believe in one country, whatever.
But they also want all the shit Taiwan makes.
They want control of all that.
South Korea, you better be nervous too.
Japan, get nervous. Get nervous. Is this podcast becoming a broken record where I just complain about China? Well, it's a pretty big issue.
If the Secretary of Treasury is saying, hey, we got to stop here. If Donald Trump is saying,
we got to stop here. If even Obama is saying, we got to stop here. If Donald Trump's saying we got to stop here, if even Obama is saying we got to stop here,
every president is saying we got to stop.
And the thing is we can't stop because we're addicted.
We're addicted.
That's like telling a sex addict to stop scrolling Instagram for hoes.
It's not going to happen.
That's like trying to tell Ari Lang
to stop using drugs
he likes them too much
it's already a habit
it's like telling me
to stop posting about the vaccine
I can't
I'm addicted
you got yoved
Jay Harvin 15
South Koreans were eating dogs
they turned Shiloh into Shifo.
That's the first Jay Harvin, 15 comment
that made it on the episode that I do not understand.
Not everyone bats a thousand.
Omar is wild, says,
wait, I thought Taiwan was in China.
Somebody's working for the CCP.
Omar, you just gave yourself away.
Yes, that's what China would say.
China would say, you are in China and you belong to us.
And we would say, yeah, technically you're in China,
but you know, this is different.
Two countries, you know, two countries, one world,
whatever the fucking thing was
and China goes,
ah, unified.
You're with us.
You belong to the CCP.
And while this is all happening,
Salt Bae is just sprinkling salt on steaks.
Oh my God, shit.
The Mel kids are pranking people in the street.
Drew is chasing down pedos in Jersey City for no money.
And R.R. Kelly is going to prison for something
you used to be able to get away with in the 80s.
And Dog the Bounty Hunter has now joined the hunt
for Brian Laundrie,
who they still can't find.
Brian Laundrie's still on the lam.
Is he dead?
He has to be dead, dog.
Or is this an indication of how far we have slid that we can't find a fugitive with all this technology?
Maybe it's not really an indictment
on anything except
we just are incompetent
and we can't find this kid.
I mean, but maybe Dog the Bounty Hunter can't.
Is it my imagination or is the news getting very sketch like like you're almost reading a premise
for a sketch so if someone said hey you want to write a sketch about brian landry one of my first
ideas would be how about we write a sketch about how dog the bounty hunter finds brian landry and
they're going wait that's hilarious so you're're telling me the FBI couldn't find them. Surveillance couldn't find them. Local police departments couldn't find
them. Marshals couldn't find them. I go, yeah, exactly. Dog, the bounty hunter, the guy that
loves to say the N word when he stubs his toe, he finds them. And TMZ, the very trusted outlet, one of the first that let us down this slide of media shit,
has reported that Dog the Bounty Hunter is getting close.
So I don't know how TMZ has gotten the scoop,
but that's their headline, is that Dog the Bounty Hunter,
the exact headline is,
Dog the Bounty Hunter is closing in on Brian Landry.
So, Dog the Bounty Hunter has taken a break.
I mean, it's making me, it's squeezy funny.
Dog the Bounty Hunter has taken a break
from yelling the N-word
and chasing down meth heads in Hawaii
to hit the mainland
and track down Brian Landry
with his fucking stupid son
and his fucking big-tittied wife.
The three of them have taken a break
from following mega- death on the road.
And they're going to find America's most sought after fugitive,
Brian Landry,
who has
really won a place in our hearts.
You do not kill a white girl in this country
and get away with it.
His wife passed away. His wife passed away.
His wife passed away.
My condolences to dog bounty hunter.
Apparently his bitch passed away.
I say bitch as female dog
because he's dog to bounty hunter.
He called her.
He did?
Yeah.
He called her that
unless he lost money on a game
and then he called her the n-word
wasn't that funny when that was news as if a guy that looks like that
was never going to say the n-word he was going to go whoa whoa whoa whoa african-american
does dog the body hunter look like a guy who's gonna correct you on the way you describe a group
of people you go whoa whoa whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
It's not a China virus.
It's COVID-19.
And you're going, thanks, Dog the Bonnie Hunter.
And America made a TV show on him
because we love shit.
We love shit.
We made a TV show called Where Are They Now?
Because people generally had a big curiosity
to find out what Scott Baio was up to.
We really needed to know.
It was a hit show.
And I think we should do a spinoff of Where Are They Are Now?
Except it's NFL players who are retired
and we call it Where Am I Now?
Starring Wayne Corbett. players who are retired and we call it where am i now starring wayne crevette and who is the quarterback for the chicago bears
jim mcmahon he's the host of it and every couple seconds he goes wait a
second what are we doing
wait a second what is where am i? Wait a second, where am I?
It's like watching Memento in 30-minute integrals on VH1.
It'll bring that network back.
And then we can do a show on MTV called Girl Code Afghanistan
where Taliban leaders just tell you
what their wives are allowed to do.
And that's Girl code in Afghanistan.
They can walk behind me and they can show their eyes.
And then the series is over.
It's a 30-second series where a Taliban member comes on and goes,
they can walk behind me and they can show here.
And you're going, okay, girl code.
Dog the Bounty Hunter. behind me and they can show here and you're going okay girl code dog the bounty hunter lewis zappy in 1986 i assume that's when he was born says smell like wet dog and cigarette the bounty hunter
he does look like he smells like wet dog i that's lewis is a black kid and i get why black people
say we smell like wet dogs because we do you ever walk ever walk into a bar, like a crowded hipster bar?
I don't know if they still exist now
because they all left the city
to go back to Ohio.
But when you walked into one of those bars
and they were all drinking like Pabst Blue Ribbon,
it did smell like a dog on a rain day.
I do admit that.
So Dog the Bounty Hunter's closing in.
He'll get the job done
yeah
Ravco
Cadence Health
speakwithadoctor.com
which you know
if you need to see a doctor
this is my thing
if you're having
if you're coughing
if you're having a little
trouble breathing
because there's like
some backup in there
don't go see a doctor in person
what you want to do is you want to sign on
to speakwithadoctor.com
I'm just going to do an ad read for them right now
they're incredible man
I love to speak to a doctor virtually
so he can examine me through zoom
and tell me hey
here's ivermectin,
which I promise I don't get a cut of at all in any way,
but it will cost you 90 bucks for consultation.
And then when you see me again, 90 bucks for that.
And ush us in a bunch of doctors,
Ravco and speakwithadoc.com, Canis Health US.
We're not making any money.
We're not profiting on this at all.
We're not profiting on this market of people
who are skeptical about the vaccine.
We don't profit.
We're trying to do this for the good of humanity
because you have to be careful of big pharma, like I said.
Am I prescribing you pharmaceuticals from Big Pharma don't ask
questions I'm prescribing you celery which you can get at any Farmer's Market okay I'm not telling
you to take hydrochlorocloxine which is which they say is made by Big Pharma but don't pay attention
to that the point is we don't want to support Big Pharma.
I'm giving you ivermectin. Does Merck make ivermectin? Yes. Are they Big Pharma?
You're missing the forest for the trees here, guy. The point is we don't want to support the
Democrats. Do you get it? Do you love Trump or not? Now shut your mouth and take your
ivermectin cream. It helps. If you're a 27 year old and you're not overweight and you recovered,
yes, it was ivermectin that made you recover. So take your ivermectin and don't forget your zinc,
which has been a warrior in the fight against COVID viruses since the flu, baby.
If you don't take that zinc, you're fucked.
And you can get that at any natural food store.
So we ain't here to make money.
And by not make money, I mean 67 million.
That was calculated just based on the hack.
Anyway, as a result of this,
every one of these companies that were working together
to provide these vaccine skeptics with prescriptions
has disassociated with the other
and said they had no idea this was going on.
This was a hack in The Intercept.
The Intercept has reported this,
and I'm sure mainstream media will pick this up
because they love to dunk on whatever Trump is involved in.
So you'll see this one.
You won't see Obama.
I think it was ABC.
Yes, ABC.
You won't see Obama shitting on Biden's border policy. You won't see
Obama saying that we need a border. We're a nation state because that's going to get a lot of
the Bernie bros fired up. It's going to get a lot of Bernie bros fired up.
They, you know, they don't like Obama.
Obama to them was, is right wing.
Okay.
Little does everybody know.
Now I enjoyed Obama because he's the type of president that holds things together.
Okay.
He was like the Jackie Robinson of presidents.
So, you know, you go to those tea party rallies,
people were like hanging them up in effigy. They were calling his wife a man. And, uh, I remember that
one woman that called his wife a man. And then you saw her and you were like, you look like a man.
And, um, he just came out and he smiled and he did his thing and he bombed the shit out of the
Middle East and he deported more illegals than any president before him. And he did it thing and he bombed the shit out of the Middle East and he deported more illegals
than any president before him.
And he did it with a smile.
He carried a big stick
and a full of shit smile.
And that's what you gotta be.
You have to be efficiently full of shit,
but you have to do it with charisma.
If you're gonna be a politician,
the people who become politicians
are very similar to people
who become comedians and entertainers
sociopaths they're sociopaths and people with narcissistic personality disorder like me and drew
anyone who wants to be on camera like jesse's a normal guy who's happy with anything you throw
that kid in an empty room he'll finger paint on a wall he's held he doesn't have any of those
fucking mental illnesses okay he doesn't need to be heard he doesn't think out loud he doesn't have any of those fucking mental illnesses. He doesn't need to be heard.
He doesn't think out loud.
He doesn't say you have to hear what I want to say.
He says, okay, believe what you want to believe.
I'm over here.
I'm finger painting.
I'm sculpting.
I don't give a shit.
Very similar.
That's why they call DC Hollywood for ugly people
because it's the same.
It's people who are ambitious, want to be seen,
want to be famous, and want to get rich from that visibility, from their fame.
And that's why the Obamas are fucking multi-millionaires signing deals on Netflix.
That's why the Clintons are multi-millionaires.
Because they get rich off the public office.
You can't change that.
Okay?
But what you can do is do it with some fucking gusto
give us some charisma
Trump almost did it
except he was like
too honest
sometimes
he'd be like
why are we letting
these shit hole countries
you don't say that out loud
you don't say
you look around first
and you go
who's here I can trust?
Who can I trust?
And you only say that to your daughter or millennia
because she doesn't speak English.
That's it.
Because millennia can't say anything
that wasn't written by Michelle Obama.
Do you understand that that just happened
and then we just continued the country?
Do you understand how much of,
when the Romans fell, it was violent and stressful.
When we're falling, it is downright, utterly hilarious. The first lady of the last president,
there's a chance she was a mail order hooker. There's a chance. They say she was a model.
I never remember seeing her in Victoria's Secret.
I have seen the first,
former first lady's tits.
That's what's happened.
And then she gave a speech.
She gave a speech
where she completely plagiarized the speech Michelle Obama gave
I mean are you hearing what I'm saying and we all kind of just went like ha ha ha ha and moved on
because Trump was doing so many wild things but do you know how wild that is
she just gave Michelle Obama's speech and And we were just like, okay,
because there came a point where she goes,
okay, when you bought me,
I did not sign up to be first lady of America.
I'm not going to speak to people.
I don't even know how to do a Slovenian accent.
Where is she from?
And then there was this article going around
that said she was an architect
and she spoke eight languages. And if you still ask a lot of people now they will believe that
they'll say she's a very classy woman michelle obama she's a fucking bitch and beast just dumb
bitch like all right well she's a law school you know she's a lawyer she's a law graduate and
they're going but millenn, what a classy woman.
She speaks eight languages.
No, she doesn't.
She speaks one and a half.
Whatever fucking foreign country
she comes from
and then half of English.
Slovenia.
Slovenia.
And that's it.
She doesn't know architecture.
She didn't go to college.
That was a fake fucking article.
But who cares?
They're both fucking pieces.
I agree with that.
Yeah.
Now, I'll admit,
Melania's a little bit more of a piece
because pieces don't usually become lawyers.
Nobody who's got a sweet half,
like Melania's gonna go,
she doesn't need to.
She was able to marry a pretend billionaire
who has millions,
but he's not as rich as he claims he is.
And she was able to have a great life with gold toilets and all this shit,
and give birth to some fucking eight foot kid. She didn't need to go to law school.
So she's a little hotter, I'll be honest. I'll give Melania that. Melania is the hottest first
lady we've ever had next to Jackie. And then I put Michelle Obama three.
Michelle Obama's kind of hot.
I mean, she needs to be made up and shit, but so do these other fucking girls.
Barbara Bush.
You wanted to fuck Barbara Bush.
I've never seen the pictures of her in her 30s.
Oh, not Barbara Bush.
I'll tell you, Laura Bush, who killed somebody with her car in high school,
that got pushed under the rug.
She was kind of hot in a way when she was younger.
But apparently
on the scale of how
hot First Ladies were,
Drew goes straight to Barbara Bush.
It's a character piece. I'll tell you what,
Drew, you know,
that's what
you call definitely thinking outside of the box.
I don't think anyone would have Barbara
Bush in their list of hot First Ladies. I think they might put George Bush on there before they put
Barbara Bush. Let's look at Laura Bush when she was younger. She was pretty decent. I mean,
she did have those eyes, like her eyes looked like maybe she was a little slow. Remember those eyes
where they were like a little cross-eyed and she would just get up there and go, children need to
learn. Children need to teach.
But let's see how much of a piece she was when she was young.
So the ACLU
McRook77
says also wasn't Nancy Reagan
the blowjob queen?
I don't know. I never
heard that. That was next on my list.
That was next on your list is Nancy Reagan.
Jess, who's your favorite?
Not bad.
Who do you go with?
Melania?
Number one?
Definitely.
Definitely Melania, right?
I don't know.
Didn't she kill a guy?
Yeah, she did kill a guy.
You just must have come into the chat.
Jackie had nudes too.
Jackie had no nudes.
Yeah.
Jackie Onassis had no nudes. Jackie Kennedy had no nudes. Yeah. Jackie Onassis had no nudes.
Jackie Kennedy had no nudes.
She's rocks.
Google it.
Yeah, we won't show it.
Google it.
There's no nudes of Jackie Onassis.
Are you kidding me?
She was like,
there's no nudes of her.
She's, yeah,
it could be a deep fake.
There's no nudes of Jackie Onassis, Drew.
Pull it up.
Oval office only. Life only life liberty and labia from d donnelly four very nice
taft was a chub but i bet his wife was a piece oh these were leaked like someone uh paparazzi
caught her oh she does have nudes but yeah these were leaked these was this was a yeah
this was uh an asshole reporter who just fucking...
Yeah, she does have nudes.
A sexual predator, basically.
Yeah, basically a sexual predator.
Is that real or is it a deepfake?
It's a real.
Yeah, and of course it's on Ex Hamster,
which I occasionally peruse.
Occasionally.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, Jackie Onassis was a piece, man.
And this is in her older years too.
She's still a piece.
So General Miley has refused to apologize
for calling the CCP and saying,
we will not attack you.
A lot of Republicans are saying that's treason.
He's defending it, saying whatever.
I don't know how you defend that.
I mean, I get, you know, I'm torn on that
because when you think about the Cuban Missile Crisis,
it was back-channel negotiations between RFK
and one of Khrushchev's ambassadors.
They privately met and they cooled things down.
This seems like something similar and then some reporter reported on it or whatever.
But I don't know.
I mean, I guess that's why they have to be back channel negotiations because if you get
caught, that certainly is. It does seem guess that's why they have to be back channel negotiations because if you get caught,
that certainly is,
it does seem like that's terms for treason, right?
You can't just, you know,
and he said the Chinese were worried about an attack.
Well, it's like you need to,
that's information you need to give your country
that the Chinese is worried about an attack.
So I'm torn on this one.
That's an interesting one. What do you think? Treason? country that the chinese is worried about an attack so i'm torn on this one um
that's an interesting one what do you think trees it
drew of course you're gonna say yes i need to talk to somebody who's a little more experienced you're ready to go you'll fight the chinese right now right yeah jess treason yeah that's a tough
one i mean it's not good, but...
Not good, but you understand where he was coming from.
Well, the penalty for treason is death, right?
So you're going to kill a guy for that?
Right.
Well, maybe we can convict him of treason
and just give him a different penalty
that all he can do for the rest of his life
is watch Britney...
Huh?
Is it even true that the penalty for treason is death?
I mean, is anything I say in this true penalty for treason is death? I mean,
is anything I say in this true?
I said it.
Yeah, I mean,
but you're on the show.
So it's like,
I think I got a 30% connect rate
as far as true goes.
But you can look it up.
I'll put you in the high 60s.
What did I miss?
I'm still over Palin's Miss Alaska
one-piece suit.
Major fumes.
That's from Rob's mental playground,
The Great Rob.
Jay Harvin, 15, says,
Jackie O was very uptight,
wasn't really sexually free.
The only time that
she was on her knees
was on the back of that car
in Dallas.
That's a goodie.
That was a goodie, Jay Harvin.
That was a goodie. That was a goodie, Jay Harvin. That was a goodie.
So homicides are up 30%. Homicides.
Homicides.
Homicides are up 30%.
That would be like an old conservative grandparent
who heard you say homicides are up 30%.
Like, I tell you what's up 30%
there's gays everywhere
homicide is up 30%
they're not allowing
men to be men anymore
boys will be boys
when I was a girl
guys just grabbed
your pussy
and nobody said
anything about it
what's the penalty
for treason
you just have to watch
Britney Spears Instagram
for the rest of your life
your penalty for treason
is you have to get your news
from long days
with Giannis Pappas
from here on in
so the ACLU
has apologized
because they tried
to slip
a rewrite
of the great RBG, St. RBG.
Let me just give her a good SNL salute to the girl
that allowed Trump to fill the Supreme Court.
You fucking idiots.
Who's going to tell the Democrats that Roe v. Wade being circumvented in certain states
is RBG's fault because she didn't resign under Obama? Okay, I will. So the ACLU apologizes. What they did was they turned woman and she to person and person.
So they changed the quote because obviously RBG was not thinking about trans people
was not thinking about trans people when she was giving the quote. So what was the quote?
Oh, it was her pro-choice quote. Okay, here's the quote. This is what the ACLU changed it to. The decision whether or not to bear a child is central to a person's life.
Is it? Drew, is it central to your life? It ain't central to mine because I could knock you up and
run away and continue to eat fucking hot dogs. I could continue to do meth while you're pregnant
and it won't affect the baby. I could die while you're pregnant and it won't affect the baby. I could die while you're pregnant and
it won't affect the baby. So I'm not sure, ACLU, if the decision is equal for me and the person
who gets pregnant. Now, if it's a person who get pregnant that really opens up the net of who can get
pregnant and i'll tell you i'll tell you i uh i was with my wife when she was pregnant and i was
on whatever what's the floor called is that the maternity ward or whatever wherever they wherever
wherever dr huxtable works i was on that floor and i got very upset I got very upset with that hospital
Let me explain to you guys why
I went over to the front desk
And I say listen to me guys
There is not
One
Trans woman here giving birth
Is this hospital aware
Of how it is discriminating
Against Persons is this hospital aware of how it is discriminating against persons?
And they said, we're sorry, we're going to look into that.
And I said, you better fucking look into it
because the only people I see here giving birth are women.
Where are the trans women giving birth?
And they said, that's a good point.
We're going to look into it.
So if they change the rules at a certain hospital,
I'm not going to give it away.
You know who I'm talking about.
It's because of me.
I looked into it.
And then I went and I found out,
I went further and I found out,
I don't know if you guys are aware of this discrimination,
but every single hospital in the world
only has women giving birth.
Okay?
With a few trans men
who some will argue,
and I call them bigots,
some will argue
who were at some point women.
Yes. Yes. Exactly, Drew. Exactly. Exactly. So something has to be done about this discrimination against persons because it's only women allowed in these
hospitals to give birth. And I've had enough of the discrimination
and I know a lot of people have as well so the decision whether or not to bear a child is central
to a person's life to their well-being and dignity when the government controls that decision for
people they are being treated as less than a fully adult human responsible for their own choices.
That was the ACLU quote that was rewritten, no doubt, by a sexually ambiguous fat person with
short hair, tits, and armpit hair. What Ruth Bader Ginsburg's
Ruth Bader Ginsburg's
original quote was,
click on that,
her original quote.
Ruth Bader Ginsburg
originally said,
only women give birth.
A woman has a right to choose.
I'm making that up.
I'm just,
what she said was...
Drew can't find it.
Well, she said that,
but she just had she in there, right?
Because she was...
Yeah, she said,
when the government controls the decision
whether or not to bury Travis... No, that's to a woman's life.
She just had woman in place of person.
So they just replaced the woman.
You're not allowed to say, look, woman or she is the N-word of gender right now.
You're not allowed to say it, okay?
So please, if you want to date a formerly known as woman, I want you to say,
I want to date that person with tits. I want to date that person with a womb over there.
Okay? Because if you say woman, it's confusing. You're pointing at someone.
I don't know what they are. Okay. I could see someone and they have tits. Guess what?
Tim Dillon has tits. I have tits right now. So don't even call him a person with tits. Cause
that could be confusing. Some people will think that you're referring to John Goodman.
No.
You say person with a womb.
That's what women are to be called by now
because that's the feminist thing to do.
You're a person with a womb
or a thing with a vagina.
You're a body with a vagina that is the proper way to refer to you in a sensitive
world where we're taking everyone's feelings into account except for bitches
this is log days we'll see you next week. Now I'm going to itch my nose.
All right, now for our small business shout outs.
You know, Yanni loves small business. So right away, got to give a shout out to my boy, Nate Linder.
natelinder.com.
He actually hit me up.
He wants to be my social media manager.
Your prices are too high considering I'm promoting you, Nate.
I want you to come down.
We're going to negotiate.
natelinder.com.
Nate is great, Nate. I want you to come down. We're going to negotiate. natelinder.com. Nate is great, man.
He will help you accomplish all your marketing goals and increase your sales revenue.
He's just an, he's a guy who social media manages and strategizes. So natelinder.com and get a quote from him, help you grow your business or whatever you're doing, you know,
your TikTok, whatever, whatever you're trying to to get bigger so more people will look at you.
Then we've got Andrew Cuomo's secretary, okay?
The safest person in the world right now is Andrew Cuomo's secretary because Andrew Cuomo
is not her boss anymore.
So, ZjamaRealty.com, you know the deal for all your commercial or apartment rental listings in
Brooklyn, Zjammarealty. That's who you hit up. You're a fan of this show, you're looking for
a spot in Brooklyn, or you're looking for a business spot in Brooklyn, Zjammarealty.com.
Talk to those screwed in Jews. All right. Then we got same thing if you're in South Florida,
Uh, same thing if you're in South Florida, all right, and you want to get COVID.
You're, uh, if you don't mind living in South Florida, are you trying to chase some Latin puss puss?
Um, which is a good idea.
You go to, you go see my boy, uh, Grant Trower, who's got one of the greatest names of all
time.
Sounds like a, sounds like there should be a superhero.
And then that's the name of the guy
when he's not the superhero.
It's like Clark Kent, Grant Trower.
So go see Grant Trower who turns into Ant-Man or whatever.
And you can contact Grant at 954-591-6465
or go to granttrower.theatlanticrealtygroup.com.
Do a full home search. Grant will get you a spot in South
Florida. Then we got my man Squeegee Luigi, one of the greatest names of all time. Squeegee
Luigi. You go to his page, which is GetTurntCo, GetTurntCo, and he creates every item he offers.
So you can see his cannabis paraphernalia, his exotic dab tools, pipes, rolling trays,
luxury pens, jewelry, self-defense gear.
So you got to fucking, and his tools, furniture, and beyond.
So if you're looking for a good bulletproof vest and a nice coffee table at the same time,
but also want to smoke weed in that room, GetTurntCo has you
covered. All right? Who watches TV without a bulletproof vest these days? You never know.
If you're in Long Island, you never know what MS-13 is going to crawl in the windows.
So go see GetTurnt on the gram. Go to GetTurntCo. Now we got our favorite, Chris Minetti. They're
all our favorite, but I mean, Chris Minetti's a fucking stand-up real guy. Chris Minetti's a guy who will cash your fucking check.
Let me tell you something. If you forge one of my checks, okay, I got Jay Harvin here. If he steals
one of my checks around here and fucking forges my name, there's one person who will cash it.
Chris Minetti. You're going to have to drive out to fucking South Philly to get a cash,
but you will steal my money because this motherfucker will cash monopoly checks whatever check you got chris manetti will
cash it doesn't matter all right 215-750-3730 no website no social media no fucking irs involved
go see Chris Minetti
just call him
call Chris
I bet you picked up the phone
he says Chris Minetti
how can I help you
yeah you got a check on paper
is your fucking pen on there
you're like yeah
sorry Chris
but I just
this check has someone else's name on it
just fucking bring it down here
what's the name on it
the name is Sally Fields.
My name's Dan.
That's all right.
Just put a fucking dress and a wig on.
Come down here.
I'll fucking cash a check for you
at Minetti fucking financial services.
215-750-3730.
If you're in the Philly, South Jersey area,
go see Chris Minetti.
Michael Hamlet Jr., the Bronx brand, bronxbrand.com. Go support Bronx
artists, the home of hip hop. Go check out Stories in the Bronx magazine. This is very cool. I have
just bought a t-shirt from the bronxbrand.com. It is so cool. the artists they do a revenue share with them so they got cool prints
up there
they got art
they got
t-shirts
all that stuff
so
he said his long hauler name
would be
Black Lives Matter
nah I mean
so why isn't that
your long hauler name
cause he's trying
to be professional
so his long hauler name
is Michael Hamlet Jr
nobody gives a shit
that your father was the same name.
Okay, you're Michael Hamlet, the Bronx brand founder.
Michael Hamlet Jr.
Okay, now you got to go write your book of poetry.
So go support the Bronx band, very cool.
Similarly, if you want to support people in Hawaii,
you want to support bands in Hawaii,
you got to go to forthefree.us.
Sorry.
Yeah, forthefree.us.
Go to forthefree.
I pulled up a different one,
but forthefree.us to support bands in Hawaii
to find out about events and bands who are local to Hawaii.
If you're going to Hawaii
and you don't check out forthefree.us,
then you're a squeak.
And also, just check them out anyway if you're a music fan, man. There's a lot of cool bands up
there and I support what he's doing. Then we've got Reese Ormand, of course, Tech Vera for all
your IT needs. If you're a smaller mid-sized business, if you're just yourself, whatever it
is and you need some IT support, they got you covered, man.
They offer 24-7, 365 coverage, unlimited to support to their flat rate partners and cybersecurity, all that stuff.
So if you're a company, you're looking to hire IT people, just hire TechVero.
They'll do everything for you.
Eastside Cheesecakes, Julia and Gregory, they're also available in Uncle Paulie's sandwich shops in LA,
which I think there's two or three of them now.
But you can go to eastsidecheesecake.com.
Guess what?
They will be nationwide shipping in a few weeks.
So I can't wait to start promoting them then
because now you guys can get those cheesecakes sent to you
and they're absolutely delicious.
Everything's fresh.
They make everything, including the cream cheese,
they make it themselves. We tested fresh. They make everything, including the cream cheese. They make it themselves.
We tested it.
It is long day approved.
Okay?
So Eastside Cheesecakes on the gram,
eastsidecheesecakes.com.
Aaron Leaf, you just got your read.
Rob's mental playground.
Robby.
Robby's mental playground.
We got to keep,
we got to support Rob to keep his mental a playground.
We don't want to change it to Rob's mental institution.
So go to robsmentalplayground.com.
He posted a photo in the stories yesterday where he was showing me his foot.
I think he's got, he said he has tendinitis in his ankle.
I don't know from what, maybe you're listening to Squeaky Clean too much and you're bathing
and you're, you're laying down too much and you're bathing and you're laying down too much
and you're not getting enough blood to your ankle, Rob.
I don't know.
But keep hairspraying your mustache
and keep pumping out that dope art.
Rob'sMentalPlayground.com.
Rob'sMentalPlayground on the gram.
He's part of the show.
Go show him love on his gram, Rob's Mental Playground.
And then we got Jared Z from the Stinkbox.
This kid, I mean, this kid should be paying.
Exclusiveautoshipping.com.
God damn it, you screwed in kid.
Exclusiveautoshipping.com.
You're gonna move your car anywhere in the country.
Exclusiveautoshipping.com for your free quote.
There's discounts for students and military.
So if you're moving anywhere or need
to move your car, exclusiveautoshipping.com. Now to our Patreon members. All right, guys,
patreon.com slash yannilongdays. Also get your merch at yannispapascomedy.com. Also, I got the
links up for Phoenix and Maryland.
So go get your tickets.
YanisPapasComedy.com Patreon.com slash Yanni Longdays.
Our new Patreon members.
Christopher Swift.
Welcome.
Steven.
Tyler Grease.
Paul Blum.
Allison Kay.
Alex.
Denton Visual.
Got a free read.
Steel Pipe Shep.
Put my piece in her crease.
Steel Pipe Shep. You my piece in her crease. Steel Pipe Shep, you win.
And then Steven Greenfield.
Thank you guys, patreon.com slash yannilongdays.
We will see you next week.
I got to sniss in.
It's been a long day.