Yannis Pappas Hour - Wawa Twins - H. Foley & Kevin Ryan
Episode Date: May 5, 2023The Are You Garbage boys, H. Foley & Kevin Ryan come thru to talk Philly, Foley’s Size and how the boys met and started their hit podcast. Notice as the podcast goes on Foley’s seat gets pushe...d farther and farther down to the ground. You can zip thru it in fast forward and have a great laugh! See Yannis live Dates & Cities below All tickets: https://www.yannispappascomedy.comBoston July 8 Poughkeepsie, July 21-22Long Island Aug 17Salt Lake City aug 4-5Dallas Aug 24-26Springfield l, MO sept 7-9Calgary Sept 22–23FORTË Wayne, Indiana Sept 29-30Toronto Oct 7Red Bank, NJ Oct 14San Fran Oct 27-28New York Nov 4 Providence Nov 10-11Phoenix Nov 16-18Spokane Dec 1-2Tulsa Dec 8-9Louisville Dec 15-16Watch Yanni’s stand up special: https://youtu.be/ArlCFemEDvQJoin our highlights page for highlight clips of every episode: https://youtube.com/channel/UCfMy34qIYYy7XiRaHKO1ykwNew episodes every Friday and new bonus episodes every following Tuesday at Patreon.com/yannispappashourSponsors Factor meals https://www.factor75.comPromo code: fumes50 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Guys, before we get into this great episode with the RU Garbage Boys, my live dates, July 8th, the Wilbur Theater, Boston, Massachusetts.
Laugh It Up just added Poughkeepsie, New York, July 21st and 22nd.
Then we got the Paramount Theater in Huntington, Long Island, August 17th.
Dallas, Texas, August 24th and 25th.
Springfield, Missouri, weekend of September 7th through 9th.
Calgary, Alberta, September 22nd, 23rd.
Fort Wayne, Indiana, September 29th and 30th.
Toronto, Ontario, the T-Dot, October 7th, Royal Theater.
Red Bank, New Jersey, the Vogel Theater, October 14th.
Cobbs, San Francisco, now October 27th and 28th.
Now on sale, Sony Hall, November 4th in New York City.
Providence, Rhode Island, November 10th and 11th.
Phoenix, Arizona, November 16th and 17th.
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Welcome to the Fediverse.
Now enjoy this episode with my two favorite guys,
the Wawa twins, Foley and Ryan. What's up, everybody? Propaganda Get his kids screwed in Got a lot to say Aw, shit It's about to be a long day
It's a long day
It's a long day
What's up, everybody?
Obviously, I'm here with the RU Garbage Kids,
otherwise known as the Wawa Twins.
Hoagie Fest coming up this summer.
Get yourself a shorty.
Kippy and Foley.
What up, dog?
Hey, buddy.
What's going on?
This is great.
What you can do, we switch seats.
What you can do is maybe take one of those,
carry one of those onto a plane.
Maybe if you got an inflatable one.
Sure.
And tuck it.
Just post up.
Because you're comfortable.
I'm comfortable right now, yeah.
I'm comfortable on the plane when we fly for business because we're up front.
Yeah, especially if you can get nine bloodies in you.
Yeah, yeah.
Ken likes a BM on the plane.
I do.
He goes after it.
That and my movies, I'm in.
And he gets real finicky
if she don't give him
to him quick enough.
He gets real snappy
with me, too.
He's like,
what's this fucking broads deal?
I didn't know that was a rule.
You only got one
before you took off.
Well, you know what?
Maybe it wasn't a rule
and they just 86'd you
without you knowing about it.
They flagged you
before you got on the tarmac.
That's fucking bullshit.
I'm up front.
Let's go.
Keep them coming.
No one will sting you with that snack card sometimes.
Fucking vegan gummy bears.
Let's go.
How many did you get before it took off?
They only give you one.
But no, you were drinking them in the bar beforehand.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Yeah, I had a couple.
Oh, you pre-gamed the flight.
Of course.
Yeah.
If we don't have shows that night, yeah, we'll have two tree pops.
Yeah, yeah. You'll have two tree pops.
Yeah, yeah.
You'll have two tree.
I'll have two tree.
He'll have 18, 19.
Get loosened up.
Get ready to go.
Then I get on the plane.
I have one.
I put my movie on.
Well, it's also like he gets mad at me.
He's like, you're not fucking drinking, dude. I'm like, we got to land.
I got to go to Avis and get a car.
They're not going to hand me keys to a Tahoe when I'm slurring my words.
Do you start earlier?
Like a,
like,
you know,
like a,
in a race,
if a guy was racing a girl,
you kind of give her a headstart.
Like if you guys are drinking together,
do you start earlier?
So then you can be even when you're on your seventies on his first.
I have this thing where I have,
if I'm drinking,
I have to cry.
What I call it.
I have to cross the river.
So I can't just have a drink and then relax.
I got to get two or three in me to get out of the atmosphere.
And then I can start relaxing.
Then I can chill with everybody.
But I got to get across.
I got to get the boat man, get across the river, get the quarters on my ass.
And why is that?
Because you just feel surly if you don't?
It's just the way alcohol hits me.
If I have one drink, if I have one IPA.
It's like a trank dart. Yeah, I feel like I just had way alcohol hits me. If I have one drink, if I have one IPA.
It's like a trank dart.
Yeah, I feel like I just had chemo.
Right.
Like I'm just in this weird hazy thing.
I got to fucking, I got to get in there.
I got to get it in the bloodstream.
Right, right, right.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You look, I mean, you're a bigger guy.
Sure.
A little bit of a bigger guy.
Statistically.
So one beer.
Well, statistically, we're obese. Oh, yeah. No, I'm a fat piece of shit. Oh, no. Yeah, statistically, we're obese.
Oh, yeah.
No, I'm a fat piece of shit.
Oh, no.
Yeah, dude.
You're obese.
You're probably overweight.
No, no, no.
They call you obese in the hospital hurt my feelings.
That was like the quack.
That's how they call me into the doctor's office. When I had COVID and I saw the report, like that was the worst part about having COVID
was like they called me obese.
I was like, can we use a different terminology?
Dude, I had every single pre-existing condition for that,
and I fucking rolled through COVID.
Never got it once.
There's a couple guys like you that, you know, that should be gone.
Dude, he was in Queens.
They were stacking bodies out front of his house,
literally bodies on the street, and he's out there smoking cigs,
fucking hanging out.
They had the tractor trailer at the hospital near my apartment.
I'm like, well, I guess that's where I'll be.
Honey, if you need me, I'll be over at the hospital.
Save me a room in that, will you?
It motivated Action Bronson, I think, to get in shape.
That guy, he's the hero.
Everybody's crazy.
Was there a moment where you were like, alright, let me stay here
or you were just like, no, I'm a guy from Philly
and give me a hoagie.
I was just dodging.
I was careful. I did my mask, all that kind of
shit. Wiped all the stuff down.
But no, the beginning, when it was the worst,
I was probably eating the worst of my life.
It's tough. Dude, we were off.
We had money coming in.
You were living at home, too. Crushing frozen pizzas. Yeah, that's tough. Your guys we were off. We had money coming in. Fucking, dude, I was crushing frozen. You were living at home, too.
Yeah, crushing frozen pizzas.
Yeah, that's tough.
Your guys' podcast is taking off.
Sure.
You got some money rolling in, then COVID hits.
It's asking, COVID's saying, hey, nobody can party, and you guys, like, we want, this is
what we want to start partying.
Well, we hit in COVID.
Yeah.
We were, I mean, we launched the pod two weeks before COVID.
Was it that early?
It was that, dude.
It was, we launched like February 14th
or 18th
or something like that.
So we only had two EPS
and then we had two in the can
and I was like,
well, here's another
failed fucking project.
You know what I mean?
You lost it.
You, you,
when you launched it,
it almost looks like
you were in on COVID.
Yeah, like you were like,
let's start a podcast
because we know
what's coming.
I paid some Chinese diplomats.
People are going to be indoors.
Find out Fauci's my uncle.
We got a little insider training tip.
He dipped out of town real quick and went to Wildwood, New Jersey.
Shout out to it, baby.
I stayed in the bunker in Astoria with my girl for the first two months.
We started crushing pods.
We did hard feelings every day for a half an hour,
and we did two episodes of Are You Garbage?
And we were able to get, you know, bigger people
because they were chilling, doing much.
And, dude, me and my girl were just inside
going to the grocery store, going to the wine store,
getting, like, $400 orders and just fucking...
Yeah.
I remember...
Then we went down to my mom's, and that was a wrap.
That's when it really kicked in.
I remember one time he was like,
yeah, everybody's doing keto. He was at his he was like, yeah, everybody's doing keto.
He was at his mom's.
He goes, everybody's doing keto.
And I'm like, all right.
And then like two days later, he's like, yeah, you know, you're allowed to have beers on keto.
And I'm like, I don't think so, man.
He's like, yeah, you say you're allowed four beers.
I go, dude, I got to talk to this nutritionist.
Nick Loeb Ultras.
That's what he's going to do.
Nick Ultras.
That's funny.
He's just reading the keto book, and his brain just won't accept those sentences That say you can't have beer
Like I didn't see it
But as fucked up as COVID was
Obviously it was bad
But those
The whole thing's a hoax
The two months that I was
The two or three months
It's a hoax
It's a hoax
It's a hoax
It's a hoax
It's all bullshit
But the two or three months I was down at my parents
That's honestly was the happiest
Because my dad Yeah no responsibility Not paying rent And your mom's doing your laundry Bullshit. But the two or three months I was down at my parents, that honestly was the happiest.
Yeah, no responsibility, not paying rent, and your mom's doing your laundry.
Yeah, it was all right.
I mean, what other 45-year-old doesn't want to live like that? No, but here's the deal.
Here's the deal.
I know why it felt so good.
My dad had just started getting sick, so it was good to have that time with him.
Oh, okay.
Well, you made it serious right before I was about to make a joke.
Yeah, I put it in pause.
You realize this back was against the ropes?
It was like, let me throw the sympathy card out of here.
I start crying.
Because I was about to say, you guys started Are You Garbage?
You kind of knew.
When you start something that's got the right chemistry and it's got the feel,
you kind of know it's going to work out.
So when you went home probably with your folks, you knew you had something. Whereas if you didn't have Are You Garbage? and you didn't have that instinct it's going to work out. So when you went home, probably with your folks, you knew you had something.
Whereas if you didn't have RU Garbage
and you didn't have that instinct it was going to work out,
you'd just be going back home to your folks.
Yeah, you're going home.
You're not doing a victory lap.
You're a loser, Bill.
You're going right back to loser, Bill.
I would have been okay with that, to be honest with you, man.
If I could, if it was socially acceptable,
I would definitely move home and live with my mom.
You love your folks.
Yeah, they're good peeps.
Okay, so what's the emotional eating about then?
What's the emotional eating?
Because I'm an emotional eater.
I eat emotionally.
I blow up to about 225.
That's what I'm walking around at right now, about 230.
230.
That's obese.
Hey, I didn't come here to be made fun of on camera, Yanni.
Got me out of here in fucking Bay Ridge.
Let me tell you something.
No disrespect, but if Foley wasn't here, we'd be two fat guys talking to each other.
You are not a fat guy.
What are you talking about?
Are you kidding me?
No, you're my...
Yanni.
I'm a fat guy.
No, I mean...
Then what am I?
Obese.
Obese.
Obese.
Obese.
I mean, yeah.
And we're obese.
Here it is.
We're European fat. You're American fat. Okay. Yeah. That's more Here it is. We're European fat.
You're American fat.
Okay.
Yeah.
That's more of it.
We're also city fat.
You go out to Missouri.
I'm a fucking nine and a half out there, baby.
That's wheelchair fat.
I remember saying on stage, I'm like, yeah, I'm a fat guy.
It was when I first started doing the road like a few years ago.
And I was like, yeah, I'm a fat guy.
And someone's like, the headliner was like, you're not a fat guy out here, dude.
He's like, you're the hottest chick in Springfield.
What are you talking about?
Maybe New York you're fucking chubby, but not out here, man.
Yeah, most of the country you drive to the buffet, and by drive I mean all the way up to the buffet from car to scooter.
Sure.
Yeah, car to scooter, you scoot right up.
Yeah, you never get out of a mechanical vehicle.
You're on wheels the whole time.
You're always on wheels, yeah.
The emotional eating, I don't know.
Food was always big in our house.
We ate a lot.
I don't really know where it comes from.
Are you Italian, Foley?
Irish.
Irish.
Yeah, I don't know where it comes from, but it's definitely there.
I'm definitely an emotional eater.
Yeah.
Definitely for comfort and all that stuff.
Usually the Irish go liquid lunch.
Right here.
Yeah.
Ding, ding, ding. My whole, dude here No one's really that fat in my family
But it's like we will get drunk and tell you how we feel
Which is the only time Irish people talk about their feelings
I need about 8 in me
Especially now because they're all still in Philly
And I'll come home and I'll get like 8 in me
What's this guy's fucking deal
Oh shit here we go
Me and my dad were the only ones that were big in my family
My brother's thin and my mom's thin
But I have a lot of my dad's qualities
Yeah, and genes too
Some of it's genetic
He used to graze the way that I graze
Oh, you graze
Oh, yeah
Especially there at the house
After dinner, milling around
We would take rotations
Where he would be in the
kitchen for a couple of minutes. I'd be looking the other
way and then I'd go in there and
be doing the same thing. We'd both give each other shit.
What are you doing in there? Get out of there.
How do animals stay so
thin? They eat all day. I don't know.
Because they're eating grass. They're running for their life, Yanni.
What the fuck? There's someone after them.
This fat idiot's sitting in his house.
He's got his mom
doing his laundry.
But even the ones
that are like fenced off,
they just eat all day.
But it's just because
they're not eating Taco Bell.
Not eating Taco Bell.
They're eating fucking
grass and seeds.
Now listen.
Do you ever see when
like a bear lives near
like a dump?
When they eat processed food
and stuff like that.
They just blow up?
Blow up.
Morbidly obese.
Just for eating a beer,
a bear eating a Slurpee.
You kind of eat a Slurpee, right?
It's not really a drink.
It's more of an eating a Slurpee.
I would say that, yes.
It takes a little bit of,
yeah, you eat ice cream.
Yeah.
You eat water ice.
Yeah.
You don't drink water ice.
Yeah, you see, that's the thing.
Like, what is eating,
because with ice cream,
nobody says you lick it,
nobody goes, you lick it.
You want to go lick a cone?
Do you want to go eat ice cream?
Eat ice cream, yeah. But you don't really eat it. No.
It melts in your mouth. The first time I heard
the morbidly obese thing was
a couple years ago at the pulmonologist. He said it
real slick, too, under his breath.
I was like, what the fuck did you say? Because he was talking to
the nurse, and he was looking at me, and he was like
a 45-year-old man,
morbidly obese, and I was like, what the fuck did you say?
He's talking into a recorder.
I'm looking around.
Hey, you got a couple of fatties in here, doc.
Anyway, about that Ozem.
It's a tough thing, too, because part of it is very jovial.
Sure.
You feel like people, and it's one of those things people just make jokes about all the time.
And we always did that.
I was always called fat my whole life, like, you know, in like a busting balls kind of
way.
You know, we did it.
For years in our relationship, I was the fat one.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I would walk up and he'd go, what's up, fat?
I was, I mean, he was probably, when I met you in Philly, you were probably my size now.
What are you weight now?
I'm like 230 probably.
Yeah, that would make sense.
So he was like, he was walking around.
When I met him, he was walking around with me and I was probably like 250, 255. Oh, that's big. Yeah. He was a big boy. Yeah. Yeah, that would make sense. So he was like he was walking around. When I met him, he was walking around with me and I was probably like 250
255. Oh, that's big.
Yeah, the big boy. Yeah. Yeah. And
he would walk. He would call. What's up, fatty? Like
every time I walked out. Hey, how you doing, fatty?
Yeah. And then it's, you know, we've
lost weight and I got all of his old clothes.
That's when we were real
poor in New York, dude. You know
you're jammed up money wise when
your fat friend loses 25 pounds and you take his nine dollar pants. I was walking around New York, dude. You know you're jammed up money-wise when your fat friend loses 25 pounds
and you take his $9 pants.
I was walking around New York in 2014
wearing 2008 Philly style.
Yeah.
Cromby and Finch.
Structural jersey on a chair.
When your friend,
me and Bobby Kelly were talking about this.
I made a joke. I said,
He looks like fucking He-Man.
Yeah, when he got the surgery.
I know.
The picture of, he looked, we had him on the pod, I think, a few months after he had the
surgery.
He came and he looked good, but he was kind of like in that little bit of a transitional
period.
There's a picture from Moon Tower.
They all go to this taco place.
What's it called?
I don't know.
Soder sets it up.
I forget what it's called.
El Campanitos or something. He's out front in this picture
fucking cock diesel.
Just looks fucking unbelievable.
Yeah, yeah. Fucking hot Bobby.
Yeah, I mean, listen. You know, science
can do stuff. I know. Crazy. They can
change your gender and they can
get you skinny.
He really worked hard. We talked
about it for a while after
we recorded.
He he's like it.
It wasn't just like, you know, OK, I want to do what I'm going to do.
He had to, like, fucking work on himself for like a year.
Yes.
You got to eat.
You can't just get a lot of mental and emotional work, too, because they say, like, it's like
addicts.
It's like if you don't solve the problem, a lot of guys that do it end up either just
eating through it.
Yeah.
Or like go back to drinking and smoking and shit like that
because you haven't fixed that thing in your brain.
You're trying to physically change it of like,
okay, now I can't eat that much,
but then you're smoking meth two weeks later.
Yeah.
But there's nothing wrong with that.
Yeah.
So do you think ever about maybe throwing a band on?
I'm going to.
I have a cardiologist appointment in June that I'm going to,
and I'm going to ask him about the Ozempic.
Oh, yeah!
Yeah.
Just to see what he says.
Yeah, yeah. I mean, I've said this, I think
If not, I'm going down to Mexico
getting what I need. What do they got down there?
Coke.
I could do a bender in Tijuana.
Getting back on the horse with your nuts. It's funny that
that drug is in low supply.
Because of all the Hollywood elites.
Yeah.
I looked into it because I'm like, hey, man.
I feel like I'm at a point where I'm like, if I don't get this 20-30 off, I could easily go the other way.
Yeah.
So I'm like, let me see if I can get this 20-30 off.
So I looked into a Zempik, but somebody was like, yeah, they're not going to give it to you.
It would be good if there was a way to work out once, and then you get it off.
But the thing is, you've got to do it every day.
I know.
That's what happens to me.
I get into this like three days, and I'm like, all right.
What are you doing?
Are you hitting a gym?
Are you doing it at the house?
What are you doing?
I do the elliptical, man.
No pressure on the knees.
Yeah, that's good.
It's the old lady workout.
You got the elliptical at the house?
I don't have one at the house yet.
Where are you going to?
I go to the gym.
Right now, I go to, what is it, Planet Fitness.
20 bucks a month.
Up there? I mean, whoever interiorly designed that place, what is it, Planet Fitness. 20 bucks a month. Up there?
I mean, whoever interiorly designed that place, it looks like a car wash.
Oh, yeah.
I've always said that's the only place you can see a guy on steroids and a guy running in jeans on the treadmill.
That's the only guy fucking both ends of the spectrum.
But in the burbs, they're nice.
They're decent.
They're nicer in the burbs.
They still look like car washes.
You go to one in the city, it's wild.
No steam room, but they do have the massage chair that you can get in for 10 minutes
if you're an elite member, black card member.
It's funny.
Are you a black card?
Are you a black card member?
It's 25 bucks.
It's 25 bucks.
It's like ordering dinner for yourself one night a month.
So I'm a member of another gym,
and I just joined Planet Fitness
because that's where Verzi goes.
Now we can go together.
There you go.
Verzi walks on the treadmill.
Really? Yeah. He's got bad knees or There you go. Verzi walks on the treadmill. Really?
Yeah.
He's got bad knees or something?
No.
I think he's just like.
He's out for a stroll.
He strolls in place.
And then he'll be like.
What's the rush?
What are you doing?
He's like, I had a great workout yesterday.
Then I went to the gym with him and he was walking on the treadmill.
I even saw a video of you running on the treadmill.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That was when I was. That's when I was like full blast.
That was after being like full blast with the trainer for a while.
And shortly after that, I fell off the horse.
You know what's also tough probably why you can't lose weight?
Why?
Because you look good big.
You're a handsome guy.
He's got a good head of hair.
He's a good looking dude.
Good looking dude.
He carries it pretty well.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, no grays, like fucking solid.
You could look good.
Nah, it's just I'm weak.
That's what it is.
What do you mean?
I'm a weak man.
I'm a weak, as far as discipline.
If I was more disciplined.
That's what makes you funny.
True.
If you were disciplined, you know.
There's a lot of guys now who treat like comedy like mathematics.
Uh-huh.
Like work hard.
I hate that thing.
Like work hard.
It's like, huh?
I'm terrible with that stuff. You know that whole thing? Like work hard. I hate that thing, like work hard. It's like, huh? I'm terrible with that stuff.
You know that whole thing,
like work hard.
I hate those people
who give motivational speeches
about comedy.
Grind.
It's grind time, baby.
Yeah, I got into this
because I had a natural talent
to be a goof off.
I like to start my day
at 2 p.m.
And not listen to sets.
I didn't go to fucking Harvard.
I barely made it
out of my liberal arts college.
Where'd you go again?
American University.
That's right. That's right. That's down in
D.C. That's a good school.
It's a good school. But when I went to it, it was
right after there was a big scandal.
That's right. I think we talked about it.
We talked about it on our show.
What's the Hamptons
of Philly?
The nice part of Avalon, New Jersey.
Avalon and Stone Harbor.
Because there is a local Philly. Here's the deal about Philly. Go ahead. the nice part of... Avalon, New Jersey. Avalon, New Jersey. Avalon and Stone Harbor. Because, like,
there is, like,
a local Philly...
Here's the deal about Philly.
Go ahead.
I know a couple...
There's money down there.
There's money down there.
There's a lot of money
in the birds.
The main line.
Main line.
Main line is where you live,
like, all year.
Like, that would be...
You live in the real nice areas
of the main line.
Right.
That's old school Philly money.
That's old money.
That's, like, real old money.
Chestnut Hills,
old school Philly money.
That's where, like,
white people live
and where Kobe played basketball.
Yes.
He was off the main line.
Lower Marion, Villanova, that's all main line.
That's a real ritzy area.
That's where billionaires live out there.
We used to play them in lacrosse.
And big thing with lacrosse is you have to start it young.
But if it's not that rich of an area, they don't start young.
You start when you're in like eighth and ninth grade.
Is lacrosse in a not rich area?
Not super. It started to get to.
In the late 80s, early 90s, middle class areas started to pick it up because it was cool.
But out in the main line, they started at like three years old.
Yeah.
My question.
They would fucking smoke us.
Is there a non-white lacrosse player?
It's almost like.
I'm sure there is.
Jim Brown was a great lacrosse player.
I think it's like there's no white hibachi chefs.
Well, it's like you're mad if LeBron decided to play soccer.
What if you're white and you want to become a hibachi chef?
A couple of kids at Benihana doing all right.
What are you talking about?
Carl, you're up.
No, I think that's completely different.
I think it's multi-national or whatever.
What's the word?
Yeah, everybody plays. It's in the neighborhood. People know what you's the word? Yeah, everybody plays.
It's in the neighborhood.
People know what you're talking about.
Yeah, everybody plays.
That makes sense.
But it is a rich guy's sport.
Jim Brown was a great lacrosse player.
Jim Brown's right.
He played lacrosse.
Yeah.
Did he go to Syracuse?
He grew up in Long Island.
I know that.
Long Island.
Yeah.
Yeah, Manhasset.
Yeah.
So the main line is really the hand-
The main line is like the rich people.
But then they all summer, usually, in like Avalon or Stone Harbor.
They got houses down there.
Stone Harbor.
Stone Harbor.
South Jersey.
South Jersey, Stone Harbor.
That's where Taylor Swift started playing.
Yeah, she's from Reading, PA.
Yeah.
Yeah.
She's from Reading, PA.
She's all right, man.
Reading, PA's got an interesting history.
I don't know anything about it.
I mean, that might as well have been in fucking, that might, you going to East Jaipur to us,
go to Reading, Pennsylvania.
Yeah, right.
So that's not like. That was like two hours away.
Maybe like a flea market or
Christmas shopping or something like that.
Hit the outlets.
Where is that
Game of Thrones
wall for the Philly area?
Where is it when you go one block
there, you don't hear whom anymore?
It's tough because the suburbs...
Dude, it goes down to Delaware.
The suburbs have the worst
accent. My little nieces and
nephews, I go home and they're like, Mom, can I have a
cake? And I'm like, you're such a
sweet little girl. Stop talking like that.
Yeah, it's crazy. The suburbs
have it bad, too. Yeah, it's
a good point. It goes all the way down to Delaware, some parts
of Maryland, Baltimore, Baltimore.
It's that mid-Atlantic.
You have the same dirtbag accent. South Jersey, too.
It kind of spread a little south and west like COVID.
But the money's...
Yeah.
It's like Vietnam.
There's no actual demilitarized zone.
It's all mixed in.
Like, around where I grew up, I grew up in a middle-class neighborhood, but all around
us are pockets of obscene wealth.
Right.
Like city block mansions.
Right.
Like the guy that used to own U.S. healthcare, all these huge mansions that were all over
the place.
We used to drive by them around Christmas and look at them.
Just drink a beer, look at Adam.
Little dirt balls on the back seat.
Like a movie scene.
Steal a reindeer.
Imagine if we lived there.
One day this will be my home.
If you were a car, you can get a him like this.
Now go get your Ozempic.
Once I get out of the Ozempic, I'll have a place like this to myself.
I remember when you guys started Are You Garbage?
And I was a big get.
You were.
That's like, wow.
I remember when I was a big get.
Yeah.
You're still a big get.
Now I don't return your phone calls.
I'm a big get in your heart, but I'm not a big get career-wise.
No.
Yeah.
You have also one of our favorite episodes.
The one episode, I think it was your second.
Yeah.
That was an all-time.
I don't know if you remember.
I think it was your second.
Well, you called us the Wawa twins for the first time.
That was the second one.
Yeah.
And that was like head hurt.
That's got the least numbers of the three.
Really?
Yeah.
We got to get you back.
What are you doing?
I'm due for a four-peat.
I'm not getting back in here.
I'm not getting back in a dude-y Manhattan condo.
Hey, that's somewhere in South Pennsylvania.
Yeah, it's down there in Bryn Mawr.
No, Bryn Mawr's too rich for that.
Bryn Mawr's too rich.
Sorry about that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We're in Northeast Philly somewhere off Common Avenue.
You're down there in Cherry Hill.
Right by Ticone.
Shut up.
The Ticone-Palmyra Bridge.
That was always the shitty bridge.
Now, here's the deal.
I went to Angelo's when I was in Philly.
I saw that.
Yeah, I went to Angelo's.
What is Angelo's?
That's the pizza and the Philly cheesesteaks.
Was it famous?
If you guys don't know it, was it famous in Philly?
Is that the place on South Street with the big slices that burn down?
No, that's the...
Fuck is the big place.
Probably Antonio's or Margarito's.
Yeah, and O'Malley's, I'll tell you that.
Or Santichi's.
But Angelo's is like it's.
Where's Angelo?
I don't know it.
It's like off, it's in Little Italy.
It's in Little Italy.
Me and Jared went there.
Is it newer?
No, it's been around.
It's a fucking hole in the wall.
Angelo's Pizzeria, but suppose they got the best cheese steaks,
but you got to wait like four hours and eat them in the freezing cold.
Yeah, nobody's doing that.
Santucci, shout out to Santucci.
Yeah, Santucci's.
They make an R.A. pie, original square pie in Roxbury.
Yeah.
Pizza John.
Which I really transitioned over to.
I've been out for 10 years.
Yeah.
These weren't there.
Tacanelli's is great. That's originally in Port Richmond, I believe. Shout for 10 years. Yeah. These weren't there. Taccanelli's is great.
That's originally in Port Richmond, I believe.
Shout out to it.
You've been out of there for 10 years.
10 years, dude.
I'm a New York liberal compared to if you talk to my uncle.
Yeah, it's really.
There'll be a Thanksgiving or something.
I'll be walking by to get a drink.
Like, this guy is a fucking New York Democrat.
I'm like, what the fuck?
Drinking Heinekens over here.
Yeah.
Well, there's levels, right?
There's those neighborhoods
where it's American flags
and then those neighborhoods
where there's Trump flags.
Yeah.
The Trump flag is like,
there's a few around by me
and they put them on high.
Don't drive by my mom's house.
They put them on high poles.
She got a Trump flag?
They were donors.
Oh, no, dude,
my mom-in-law hung a Trump flag
in her bedroom window
facing her. Holy shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah-law hung a Trump flag in her bedroom window facing her.
Holy shit.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Really?
Facing her in her bedroom just so she could see it.
Whoa.
She's got Trump magnets on the fridge.
Jesus.
She's got a Trump salt and pepper shaker.
And guess what?
Her dog has a Trump water bowl.
Jesus.
That's unnecessary.
That guy moves merch, though, dude.
He does.
He's got salt and pepper stickers and water bowls.
Didn't he just drop a card game or something like that?
Dude, he's got NFTs.
Crazy.
He's got superhero NFTs.
Yeah, that's what I'm trying to get into.
Yeah, yeah.
Head accessories.
He moves tickies, I'll tell you that.
Well, you know, his fans are either, like, really rich and classy or just kind of, like,
the other extreme?
Sure.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You know?
They're poor.
Yeah, kind of.
It's sort of like extremes, right?
It's either rags or riches with the Republican Party. It'll be interesting to see what happens this election.
Yeah.
Who are you guys voting for?
I don't vote because I don't want...
I don't want to...
I'm so bad I could do that.
It's so hard to do that.
I don't want to have to do jury duty.
I only got to end up on a murder trial.
I got fucking road dates.
I got a plug.
That's a great way.
That's so you avoid it because if you vote, they got you on the books for jury duty.
When I was six, I think it was like that.
It was George Bush versus Clinton or whatever.
And I was like, who are you voting for, dude?
And he was like, I don't vote.
I don't want to do jury duty.
And I was like, my man, that's what I'm doing.
That was passed down to you.
That could have been passed down from his father to him to you.
It's just like your family may have never served the community at all.
Well, my mom, well, my dad, yeah, no.
My dad, no.
My mom, she was going to come up to New York.
She's like, I can't.
I got to go down to the city for jury duty.
She had to go sit down there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I did it once when I hated my job. I thought it was like a great way to come up to New York. She's like, I can't. I got to go down to the city for jury duty. She had to go sit down there.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I did it once when I hated my job.
I thought it was a great way to not go to work.
And I was right.
Because you get paid, too.
You get paid like 80 bucks a day or something.
And also, you get paid at your job, I guess.
They can't not pay you.
I had it once in New York when I lived here the first time.
And we were down in the, what was it, by the Brooklyn Bridge.
Yeah.
Like we're city hall.
Downtown Brooklyn, yeah.
Yeah, it was nice. Yeah. But I didn't get selected. It was a juicy case, too. I, by like the Brooklyn Bridge. Yeah. Like where City Hall. Downtown Brooklyn, yeah. Yeah, it was nice.
Yeah.
And, but I didn't get selected.
It was a juicy case still.
I can't remember what it was.
Some murder or something like that.
Yeah.
I don't want to do, dude, I already got bad anxiety.
I can't be laying down a night thing.
I'm about to fucking smoke it, dude.
Yeah, I got, I helped put a guy, I mean, with this guy, it was drunk driving too.
Really?
Nothing, nobody was hurt, but it was just like his third.
We put him away.
Put him away. Put him away, Johnny. Put him away, yeah. Really? Nobody was hurt, but it was just like his third. We put him away. Put him away.
Put him away, yeah.
How long did you deliberate for?
I think we deliberate.
Get a couple free lunches out of it?
Yeah.
I'm still on the fence over here.
A filet mignon might sway me one way or the other.
Yeah, we're still deliberating.
Where's that pamphlet again for takeout?
Yeah, he's flip-flopping for a burrito bowl.
We're just sitting there looking through the pamphlets they give you for takeout
because you get takeout.
That ain't bad. I don't want to do that.
They didn't put
a stuff. I think they put you up unless it's a case that
they don't want you talking to the media.
Meander? No. What is it?
Sequester.
I'd be talking to the media. One of those alert-out faces.
I'd be tweeting, I knew the guy was
guilty.
I think unless you're on the OJ trial,
you can sleep at home.
Okay.
Yeah.
Unless it's like
of national importance
or something.
I only voted once in 2008.
I voted for Obama.
You did, huh?
I did vote for Obama
that year.
Yeah.
I was in college, yeah.
Yeah.
I was in Philly
and I've been ducking
him ever since.
Trying to get me.
I never knew,
I hadn't voted before.
I didn't know you had to pick a whole bunch of shit. I thought it was you walk in one and done. Yeah, you got it. There to get me. I never knew. I didn't, I never, I hadn't voted before. I didn't know you had to pick
a whole bunch of shit.
I thought it was you walk in
one and done.
Yeah,
you got it.
There's a gun.
They were yelling at me.
They're like,
vote for,
don't remember,
don't forget.
So no eating in the booth.
Yeah.
There's a whole undercard.
It's like a whole,
there's a whole undercard
of like,
like when you watch a UFC fight,
you're like,
who are all these guys?
And you just pick one.
Yeah.
You're like,
I don't know these guys.
Yeah.
I'm not getting there
for the opening band.
Yeah.
What are you talking about?
I'm here to watch the Brazilian guy versus Adesanya. I don't know these guys. Yeah, I'm not getting there for the opening band. What are you talking about? I'm here to watch the Brazilian guy versus Adesanya.
I don't know these other guys.
There's a whole fucking city council.
It's funny that those guys end up serving
and are very important.
They're more important.
They're more important.
That's how they all sneak in there.
Nobody knows who they are and what they do.
Yeah, they all sneak in there.
How do you fucking vote for a city councilman?
Like a comptroller or something.
Yeah, or a comptroller or like a-
In a small town in the suburbs.
Yeah, district attorney. They're all shifty as shit. Yeah, or a comptroller or like a... In a small town in the suburbs, yeah. District attorney. They're all
shifty as shit. Yeah, and you don't know, you just
pick a name. You just go by party
usually. Yeah, by party. Yeah. Total line.
Yeah. It's really,
we gotta change the system. Something.
Yeah. You heard it here first, folks. You heard it here
first. Yanni's changing the system.
Would you ever run for office?
Would I ever? Up there? You think you could pull it off up there?
You and Lurzy?
Yeah, you and Lurzy.
Do a straw man campaign or something?
Take over the whole town.
I'm not one of those guys, though.
I don't want the power.
I don't want the responsibility.
Oh, no.
I don't want any of those. A couple of no-show contracts for the boys.
What are you talking about?
Yeah, go up there.
See, this is technically a co-op, and I get emails all the time for the meetings, and
I don't even respond to those.
So you could be running this joint.
Yeah, but that's not for people like me.
That's not for us. Absolute power
corrupts, absolutely. Yeah! I can't be
in charge of the window, Renno.
It's not for, it's for like hall monitor
types. Yeah. You know? It's like
for a woman who like... Plus people smoking weed and shit?
It's for the front of the class. Okay.
Because you gotta like, I mean, are you really
gonna care about the hallways and the elevators
and... It does smell like soup out there.
That's a lot.
A little Febreze wouldn't kill you.
Hit it with some Fabuloso, will you?
You know what it is?
This is like an old Brooklyn building, and it's a mix of rental and co-ops and stuff like that.
And there is a smell.
There is a lower class has more of a smell.
A lot of stews going on in here. A couple of goulashes on the third floor. Yeah, yeah. You go to a lower class has more of a smell. A lot of stews going on in here.
A lot of stews.
A couple of goulashes on the third floor.
Yeah, yeah.
You go to a lower class kitchen.
Somebody's peeling onions out there.
There's a lot of cooking.
There's not a lot of takeout going on.
Sure, sure.
And a lot of frying.
Yeah, a lot of deep fried foods out there.
There's not a lot of healthy poor people.
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Poor people don't go healthy.
They don't get the option.
They get the cheap food is shitty.
Yeah.
McDonald's.
Why don't they just make better food cheaper?
Whole foods don't have a dollar menu, okay?
Yeah, that's the problem.
Slap the whole foods in a bad neighborhood.
Straighten everybody out.
Help people out.
Well, why doesn't someone just have a business idea and just go healthy, fast food?
That's not cool.
I think some of them do.
Don't they have those co-ops?
Like food costs where you can go and pick up the ugly carrots.
But I think you've got to garden or work there or something like that one day a month or some bullshit.
But I'm talking about instead of McDonald's, it's like, you know, it's like.
Fresh and Co.
Well, that kind of, but nobody puts.
Viganold's.
Viganold's.
They don't want to put them in bad neighborhoods.
But at the top, they don't want that.
Why not?
Because they want to keep everybody unhealthy and keep them down.
That's how they take over.
We're getting real politically.
Yeah.
Even our political takes are about fast food.
They probably on some level do, though, right?
They have to be.
It ain't in their best interest to have them eating fucking salads.
Mickey D's just dropped a Big Mac sauce.
You can get it now in the little thing.
Finally.
You don't think that was fucking...
After years of letters.
They finally responded.
You're like, Andy Dufresne, now I'm going to send two letters a day.
Yeah, you did say that like the culmination of your life's work.
We did it.
We did it.
Finally.
You're like Kamala Harris.
We did it, Joe.
You're like, on to the next cause.
Yeah, there we go.
We got to take down this Illuminati for separating us by meals.
But let me tell you, we did have a little victory with the special sauce.
Yeah.
So you can get it.
You can get it now.
They send it.
Yeah.
Like the little, the little jobs.
What took so long on that?
Dude.
What took so long?
What idiots?
People, I think they could have been making millions.
Yeah.
I mean, that's probably because they were lazy.
They were already making billions.
But then people started cracking the code on like TikTok and shit.
Like this is how you make the fucking Big Mac secret sauce.
Yeah. So then they were probably like, all right, you know, see the cat's out of their bag. Let's start TikTok and shit. Like, this is how you make the fucking Big Mac secret sauce. Yeah.
So then they were probably like, all right, see the cat's out of their bag.
Let's start selling this shit.
Ketchup, mustard, mayonnaise, and relish.
It's pretty easy.
Probably a little Worcestershire sauce.
Yeah.
Maybe a little bit of onion.
It maybe has a little sauce.
Big Mac sauce is now available for 50 cents a la carte.
That's going to make them $15 billion.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Maybe they didn't want...
50 cents a sauce?
Yeah, they were trying to keep it under wraps,
so then you had to get the Big Mac to get the sauce.
Sure.
Yeah.
So now you can just take the sauce and make a Big Mac.
Because really, all it takes is a sesame bun and this sauce.
And that's it.
Yeah, you got it.
You got their best-selling product.
I didn't start fucking with the Big Mac until I was an older gentleman.
I never had that when I was young.
You were more into what?
Healthier foods.
No.
I was a big celery guy in the 90s.
Healthier foods.
I was more number two guy.
Big Macs were for parents.
Really?
The parents got the Big Mac.
I thought the parents got the Filet-O-Fish.
Sometimes.
Yeah, the Filet-O-Fish is a real parent order.
I was a Filet-O-Fish kid as a young man. My mom would get the Filet-O-Fish Is a real parent order I was a Filet-O-Fish kid As a young man
My mom would get
The Filet-O-Fish
And like you know
Because there's like
A rationalization
That it's a little
Healthier
I don't think I've ever
Had a Filet-O-Fish
Never
If I'm doing fish
I ain't going to
Mickey D's
Going to Long John Silver
I didn't know you were
I was about to say
I'm going right to the source
Shout out to Long John Silver
Did you ever go to Long John Silver?
You didn't have them up here.
No, we don't.
See, we didn't have a lot of chains, man.
It's really weird growing up in New York because we had no experience with chains.
Sure.
When you grow up, it's all pizza and Chinese food.
If you grew up in New York in the 80s, 90s, 70s.
All local spots.
It was all local.
There was no chains.
When I mean no, I mean zero.
There just didn't, it wasn't a part of our life,
which was so weird.
Because everyone else had such a different,
there was no like, you get Mickey D's once in a while,
it was like a, but it wasn't like a road trip or something.
Yeah, it wasn't around.
You get pizza.
I've eaten so much pizza.
Oh, I love it.
Just pizza.
Today I had three slices.
Three already? Three, yeah. Really? Yeah, I'm eaten so much pizza. Oh, I love it. Just pizza. Today I had three slices. You did?
Three already?
Yeah.
Really?
Yeah.
I'm a sneaky pizza guy.
No, dude.
What's my appetite like?
I mean, ask Percy.
What kind of three slices are we talking about?
You didn't go three regs.
Three for me is like, I could do eight.
I could do eight.
What are we talking about?
What kind?
What's the topic?
I had two regular and one Sicilian.
If you're from New York, it's just slice and Sicilian.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's how you could...
I could always tell someone wasn't from New York because they said, can I get a slice
with cheese?
I don't like cheese.
We say plain.
We would say, like, in Philly, let me get two plain.
That's normal.
Two plain.
That's a normal human being.
Yeah, that's...
That's good.
Yeah.
We could say that in New York, too.
Let me get a plain slice.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I like a Sicilian, though.
Sicilians are nice.
Yeah.
Well, that's probably one of the reasons I'm a fat guy too.
A little more tall.
Once you switch to that, when you're like, let me get two Sicilians, you've crossed the bridge.
If Sicilian is your slice, you're in trouble.
Yeah.
That's also, we've said it a bunch, that's a dad slice.
A Sicilian?
Watching my dad do a Sicilian slice, I'm like, you've got to be 18 to have one of them.
You've got to be a big fella. Yeah, not be able to fold it. A quarter slice of I'm like, you got to be 18 to have one of them. You got to go through the wars.
You got to be a big fella.
Yeah, not be able to fold it.
A quarter slice of Sicilian.
You got to hold it.
If you can't fold it, that's like a brick.
It's like you have to be over 18 to hold it like that.
How come I'm pouring sweat and you guys aren't sweating?
Because you're a little bigger than we are.
It's also hot in here.
Woo, it's cooking in here.
Yeah, it's also hot in here.
Welcome to a pre-war New York City apartment turned studio.
Also, I couldn't live any further.
I think we live in, there's not two apartments that are more further than mine and yours.
Where's yours?
I'm on 181st Street.
Wow.
You're beyond the wall.
I left yesterday, dude.
Yeah.
You're like, hey, could you do 230?
I'm like, I'm already in Midtown, baby.
This is happening whether you want to or not.
You're all the way up there?
Yeah. I'm right by the bridge. Do you guys do a car you want to or not. You're all the way up there? Yeah.
I'm right by the bridge.
You guys do a car or you do a subway?
Can't do a subway today.
I don't do a subway.
No, why?
Yeah.
Choke your motherfuckers out.
Yeah, everyone stay away from the subway.
No, yeah, I'm just, I'm an Uber guy.
Took an Uber, yeah.
I got the car, though.
I did Uber Black, if we're being honest.
You did?
I did.
You posted my balls.
I treat myself.
It's a long ride.
There's nothing wrong with that.
I treat myself.
I just don't know.
What's the difference between an Uber Black?
About 40 bucks.
Uber Black's a nicer car.
In New York, the guy speaks English.
They don't speak to you because they think you're like an executive.
They're like, they're drivers.
But then they know you're not when they pick you up on 105,000th Street.
I was checking in on one of my rental properties.
You're like, ah, this guy's-
They're making other stops.
This guy must have won a contest. I got to run to the grocery store real properties. You're like, ah, this guy's... They're making other stops. This guy must have won a contest.
I got to run to the grocery store real quick.
You mind waiting, fatty?
I got to go pick up the baby.
I picked them up at 3007th Street.
No, they don't, because they're like limo driver-esque.
Right, right.
So they don't...
You just get in, they say, hey, for Kevin.
You say, yeah, and then they're chilling.
Oh, you might get a Mr. Ryan here and there.
They know. Yeah, a Mr. Ryan. Yeah. It's nice when you get in and hear a chilling. Oh, you might get a Mr. Ryan here and there. I don't know.
Yeah, a Mr. Ryan.
Yeah.
It's nice when you get in and hear a Mr.
Hey, what's up, Mr. Ryan? It's nice and classy.
Yeah.
I blow my mom bad with money is what it's going to be.
I'll be broke in about 18 months, but it is what it is.
You're broke now.
Tax guy came through.
Tax guy cleaned me out.
You get jammed up?
You always get jammed up.
Yeah.
You always get jammed up.
But my dad gave me Sound advice
A few things he told me
Trump 2024
Yanni always take cash
He didn't
He died
He didn't get to see it
Really?
Yeah he died before COVID
He didn't get to see it
He didn't get to see it
He didn't get to live out
His lifelong dream
Of having a reality TV star
Around the country
He loved reality TV
It was either him
Or Jeff Probst
He told me He told me Is that the guy from Survivor? Yeah Yeah imagine that's funny V-Star around the country. He loved reality TV. It was either him or Jeff Probst.
He told me.
He told me.
Is that the guy from Survivor?
Yeah.
Yeah, imagine that's funny.
Like if somebody. It's the same thing.
Someone wakes up out of coma and you're like, who's the president?
You're like Donald Trump.
They're like, ha, ha, ha.
Yeah.
But even though they do that in Back to the Future, that would have been the same reaction
if you woke up in the, if you went to sleep in the 50s and woke up in the 80s.
Ronald Reagan was running the show.
Right, right, right, right.
Which is.
I was born in 76, so
I never knew he had a movie
career. I just thought he was the guy that took down the Russians.
Right. Yeah. You know, eventually
I slept real easy at night when Ronnie was in
the office. Yeah, yeah. As a kid. I don't know why.
Yeah, yeah. And I remember I just woke up one morning
and I walked into my parents' bedroom
and on Good Morning America, they were like, yeah, the
Soviet Union foul. I was like, oh, alright, sweet.
Ronnie! What's the thing to worry about? like, yeah, the Soviet Union foul. I was like, oh, all right, sweet. Ronnie! One less thing to worry about.
Yeah, because, you know, it was worrisome back then.
Yeah.
Worrisome now, too.
They're back now.
It ain't all fucking, you know, sunshine and roses now.
No, yeah, they, you know, they like to act up over there.
They're naughty.
I saw the video of the supposed drone that attacked the Kremlin.
It looks real fishy.
That didn't look like a firecracker.
Yeah.
It looked like...
It looked like they were trying to build a time machine in Back to the Future.
Just like a lightning bolt that went up and it was like, doc failed.
But my dad told me two pieces of advice.
One of them was, he said, stay away from stupid people.
They're just as bad as evil.
They can hurt you just as much as evil people.
Very true.
Right?
Because the stupid gets on you.
They don't know.
The closer you're to them, something stupid.
You should have listened to that.
Ah, buddy.
You have no idea.
He said, never fuck around with your taxes.
Oh, of course.
I started doing quarterly because I'm like, get it out of my account now so I don't fucking
think it's mine.
And actually, Jesse taught.
You taught me.
You taught me.
He taught me way back.
He goes, I just take 30% and I throw it right in the savings.
So that's what I do.
That's what we've been doing.
I get a check and I just take 30 and I throw it in the savings.
And it's like, you're just, because you're basically just holding it for them.
Uncle Sam's money.
Yeah.
This was the first time in my life where I was able to just.
Yeah.
But as two dirtbags who
have... I mean, we used to share
clothes. That's how...
We're making a couple of bucks, and the fact
that my taxes are paid on time,
I'm like Jeff Bezos,
I feel. You just feel like an adult.
I'm like, my taxes are paid. Even though my account's
empty, my taxes are paid. When I see construction
on a road, I go and see what they're doing.
What are you guys doing over here?
It's my gravel jerk off.
There's something different
about putting on your underwear
in the morning
when you know your taxes are paid.
Yeah, it feels good.
You feel like an adult.
Yeah, I have that anxiety.
They're clean, yeah.
That everything,
the other foot's going to drop
at some point.
That's Catholic shit.
That's Catholic shit.
But even today,
I'm like,
I was walking to get in the shower
to come here,
and I'm like,
that panic just sets in. And I'm like, rent here, and I'm like, that panic just sets in.
And I'm like, rent's paid.
I'm like, rent's paid.
Taxes are paid.
Cars paid.
I go, we're okay.
I'm good.
You can take whatever else you want, but those things are paid.
I'm good.
Well, you're good, but you do smoke Bernie still.
I do like a heater from time to time.
Yeah.
I mean, those are no good for you.
Those are no good.
I'm trying to shake it.
I'm trying to shake a lot of things.
Who says that?
I know.
That's Big Pharma telling you that shit. Talk to my friend Mr.
Reynolds. It's liberal propaganda.
It is. Yeah. Cigs are
yeah. They're not great.
Do you do at least American
Spirits? That's all. What
are we talking about here? I started dabbling in them a little
bit. American Spirits? Yeah, because they're longer.
Because I'm going to bum one right after this pod.
I know. I was smoking cigarettes for two weeks.
Really?
You're going to heat her when it's gone?
I want to heat her.
We were at fucking Rogie's Club.
He's like, what do you got?
What do you got?
I had her fucking chain smoking.
What's the missus say about you?
She don't like it.
She don't like it.
Bleak that.
She don't like it.
It's no good.
I remember I started because I had a little period.
What if you went home and lit up one in the house?
Oh, no.
Bad.
You can't do that.
You'd be done, huh?
No.
There's one.
I used to hide behind a tree.
Up there?
There's a tree on my property that I know.
You are a grade A bozo.
I'm going to take the trash out for 15 minutes.
Yeah, you just see the tree,
and you're like, why is the tree smoking?
Is smoke coming out of the sides?
The fire truck comes.
They got nothing else going on up there?
It's the only spot I can
because I got goddamn ring cameras everywhere outside.
So you can't sneak a sick because I got goddamn ring cameras everywhere outside. Why do you have the ring cameras?
So you can't sneak a cig
because I'm on camera.
What would the conversation be?
You're at the house.
Verzi's there.
You got two tree cocktails in you.
You know what I mean?
Can you have a stick
if you want one?
I can have a cigar, fine.
Say you guys are out back.
Verzi's having a stick
and you're like,
you know what?
I got a pack of heaters
from when I was somewhere
and you have one
and she walks out.
What's that convo?
Big problem.
Big.
Huge problem.
Yeah, I like it.
Like, will it happen there or will it happen the next day?
It's like the cops.
It's like the cops.
It's like I'm in legal trouble.
Yeah, it's like bad.
It's like, it's horrible.
She calls Versi's wife.
Yeah, it's undoable.
You know what's funny about the home security?
I wish that was the case for me because my wife don't care. I mean, she cares, but she's European. Soi's wife. Yeah, it's undoable. You know what's funny about the home security? I wish that was the case for me, because my wife don't care.
I mean, she cares, but she's European, so it's like...
That's right.
She don't care.
A kid from you from fucking Philly going European, that's like...
Man.
Yeah.
When I told my mom my girlfriend lived in Germany, she was like,
all right, you're gay, it's fine.
That's like getting a basketball contract being from Compton.
Like, you got a European wife. Yeah, it's crazy. Yeah, she's cool. That's like getting a basketball contract Being from Compton Like you Yeah
You got a European wife
Yeah it's crazy
Yeah
She's cool
She lets me smoke
She's getting
She's over it now
At this age
Yeah yeah yeah
When I met her
She smoked too
Where's she from again?
Frankfurt
Germany
But she's Czech
Yeah
Her parents are Czech
And the same thing
Talk about the Soviets
The Russians ran in there
And they got on a train
And fucking skedaddled
In the middle of the night
Hightailed it out Is she really Czech Or is that something After World War II They kind of They changed but the Soviets, the Russians ran in there, and they got on a train and fucking skedaddled in the middle of the night.
I tailed it out.
Is she really Czech,
or is that something after World War II,
they kind of, they changed it? No, she's...
From now on, tell people we're Czech.
No, she's Czech, she's Czech-Jew.
She grew up in Germany.
She was like, yeah,
the only Jewish person she knew in Germany.
Wow, so if you have kids,
kids are going to be part of the tribe.
Yeah.
Yeah.
There you go.
Somebody had, I mean, who had,
there's some comic
I can't think of who
So funny
He's like
He married a Jew
And he's like
I'm gonna have to have
To talk with them
You know
Like what
Cause he's not Jewish
But he's gonna have to
Tell his son
Like you're Jewish
People are gonna hate you
Not me
But you
I'm cool with you
He's like daddy why
He goes cause you're annoying
It's whatever comic
I can't remember But but it's some comic.
Who I know, too.
It's probably, I don't know who.
Maybe it was Mike D, Mike D Stefano.
Oh, shout out to Mike D.
I don't know who it is, though, because now whoever did it is going to be like, damn it, give me credit, but I can't.
I was thinking the other day, you know what's the weird thing about World War II?
The whole Italy thing really goes under the radar.
What about it?
They were on the side of the axis.
But so many Italian-Americans
fought in World War II
on the American side.
It's crazy.
Yeah, it's a big difference
between Italian-Americans.
They're allies.
Crazy.
Once fucking Germany
starts throwing out
a chicken parm,
then I'll fucking...
Yeah, I'll forget about it, okay?
But that was on Mussolini.
I'm Greek, though.
You can't throw that one past me.
Crazy.
Yeah, we know all
about the Italians.
Yeah.
They invaded Greece. Yeah. We beat all about the Italians. Yeah. They invaded Greece.
Yeah.
We beat them bad.
These Italians, bad.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Gave them the bitch.
What year was that?
That was early.
That was early on.
So Hitler sent them in first.
Hitler goes, Mussolini, you go.
Those little tanks?
Yeah.
Remember the little Italian tanks?
They wanted to get to Africa, so they were like, they were trying.
The Italians aren't going to take over shit.
Dude, you know how much bigger Italy is than Greece? Trying to fuck all the
broads and stuff? Yeah, they're just not. Spending too much
time in the kitchen? They're not good
fighters over there. Pouring hot water on you? Yeah, over there, they're not
good fighters. Here, they're
good. Oh, yeah. They're rhymed. Yeah.
Rocky Marciano, they're dirtbags here.
You know, wife beaters. They got the grit on them. Yeah.
They changed it, but over there, they're just soft.
It's too romantic. It's too, it's too,
it's a beautiful country. It's soft. It's too romantic. It's a beautiful country.
It's too romantic.
Their hearts weren't in it anyway.
They love their ma too much.
They love their ma.
They love, you can't.
Hey, I can fight, but I got to be home for supper.
You know what I mean?
I'm eating at the battlefield, but I got to be home by 5 p.m.
It's tough.
They have to run home every three days to get their laundry done.
You got money to share again.
What time's the battle?
Ma! What time's the battle? Ma!
What time's dinner?
I'm sorry, I can't make it.
Can you drop me off at the battlefield, Ma?
Ma, can you make a spaghetti for a thousand?
I got the boys coming over.
Oh, sure, bring them over.
Bring them over.
Oh, we're bringing out the color.
Hey, Ricardo, how's your mother?
Oh, I forgot about the calamari.
That's right, the Greeks beat them back.
Beat them back all the way into Albania.
Not only did we beat them back, we conquered some land pushing them back.
There's only a couple million Greeks.
Everybody's taken a shot at the Greeks over the years.
People try to take shots at the champ.
Yeah.
But we're still.
The Turks?
The Turks took a big shot.
The Turks took a big shot.
They took a 400-year shot.
Yeah.
Is that where you got Ritsina from?
Is that where Ritzina came from?
I thought I remember when I was working at the Greek place.
I'm pretty impressed that you know what Ritzina is.
Of course.
Yeah.
What is it?
It's a wine that has like a pine flavor.
He's got a drinking problem.
What do you mean he's surprised you know what fucking Ritzina is?
I don't know what Ritzina is.
It's a Greek, you know.
A little powder mousseline?
Let's fucking go.
Yeah, it's actually raisin, right?
So it's like, maybe we can look that up.
Can you look up what Retsina?
So Retsina is a white wine.
Gotcha.
R-E-T-S-I-N.
Jesse types with two fingers.
So do I.
He's an artist.
I'm real bad.
Turned keyboard.
So Retsina, yeah, what is it?
What's in it?
It's raisin.
I'm pretty sure.
A resin.
Resin.
It's like a pine resin.
Yeah, pine resin.
That they used to line the pots with that they would let it sit in.
It's kind of embarrassing that I'm Greek and I was calling it a raisin.
It's resin.
It's resin.
But I thought, from my understanding, is when the Turks were coming in, they poured all the wine into these things because they wanted the Turks not to like the wine or something like that.
That's some fucking great shit.
They did it to, like, fuck with them or something like that.
That could be true.
I don't know. Or. Yeah's some fucking great shit. They did it to, like, fuck with them or something like that. That could be true. I don't know.
Or.
Yeah, but it's not.
It tastes really good.
Yeah, it's good.
It's not.
Especially on a hot day with a spicy dish.
That doesn't sound like it's a real story, though.
But if that is, that's pretty amazing.
Yeah.
Because that's, like, one of those things.
A lot of times in life, the worst things end up having the best consequences.
Yeah.
You know?
The Turks were coming, and they were like, fuck them.
Yeah.
I couldn't take the wine with them.
Usually people who are like the most.
You can take my land.
Don't take my wine.
Don't take the wine.
Don't touch my feta.
Did you already have Greek Easter, by the way?
Yeah.
That already happened?
That already happened?
Did you do something nice?
No.
We just went to the in-laws, cousins, uncles, aunts.
She's Greek too, right?
She's Greek.
She's Greek.
Half Greek, half Sicilian.
She's half Greek, half Sicilian. Keep an eye on that one. Yeah. Yeah. Machi machi. Oh, right? She's Greek She's Greek Italian She's Greek Half Greek, half Sicilian She's half Greek, half Sicilian
Keep an eye on that one
Yeah
Yeah
Oh no, that's
It's rough
At night time, it's rough
She turns like Jekyll and Hyde
During the day, she's sweet
At night
She turns into a different person
She's like, she's mean
She's evil at night
About her sleep
About quiet
Yeah
She's dictatorial
Italians have a little bit
Of that fascist thing in them
They just do
My girl gets like that at night.
Because it's Mussolini, that thing, it's just in Italians.
That fascism, that kind of quiet, control and quiet.
It's just in there.
I feel like at night is when my girl gets real militant too.
She wants to make sure everything's cleaned up before she goes to bed
and she's running around doing this, doing that.
It gets nerve-wracking.
Yeah.
This is Verzi right now.
Verzi.
Yeah, what's up, man?
Where you at?
I'm on the podcast with the RU Garbage fellas.
What up, Verzi?
Oh, what's up, man?
Verzi, I'm dying in here.
It's 100 degrees in this apartment.
You called at a perfect time because we were talking about Ritzina,
we were talking about Greek stuff,
and I was actually about to bring up that you're half Greek, but you're kind of like you were brainwashed into being Italian a little bit.
Well, no, I mean, not brainwashed.
It's just, you know, my dad's crazy, and he said that Sicilians are the best people on earth, and my mom rebelled against my Greek grandmother. So that's why it kind of stuck with me, you know?
Yeah.
Well, I just want to remind you that you're Greek and you're welcome back anytime.
You're welcome in the club.
I don't mean to interrupt the podcast, man.
I'll call you back.
Yes, call me back.
Look at you on the watch.
Yeah, that was really, that was a real 2023 moment. Yeah, right there. Look at you on the watch. Yeah, that was really...
I love it.
That was a real 2023 moment.
Yeah.
Right there.
Imagine waking up after...
I didn't know they did that.
You didn't know that?
No, I didn't know you could talk into it.
You're an interesting guy.
You know Christina, but you don't know that you can talk to people on the internet.
Yeah.
That's the situation.
It's not food related.
Yeah.
And Apple Watch don't go good with a span of coconut.
You know what I mean
It don't fuck you up
And it don't make you fat
He's out
And if it ain't World War II
Yeah
We've been ending up
On a lot of stuff
At the same time recently
We just did
Yeah flight 3855
From fucking LaGuardia
To Austin
That was fun
When I texted you
I'm sitting here
And I get
I got my eyes on you
You fucking garbage pizza
He starts threatening me via
text on an airplane, which is a federal charge,
I think. He wouldn't get the Sky Marshall.
He didn't have my number programmed
in, so he didn't know who it was. Yeah, I didn't know
who it was, and I'm like... And I kind of knew
that for some reason. I kind of knew.
For some reason, I just... I think I might even hit you with a new phone
who's this. Right, you did hit me with a new
phone who's this. Yeah, which is a 2023
for you better fucking tell me
who this is
or I'm going to turn
this goddamn plane around.
I don't like numbers.
I don't know.
Yeah, so I started
hitting him with that
and I let it go
for a little while.
Yeah, it was like nine texts.
Like, I see you,
you fucking seat 1A,
motherfucker.
I said, I'm going to tell your fans
you guys are in first class.
I'll tell you you're
fucking lying pieces of shit.
And then he throws you
under the bus and he goes,
we got to go in first class because the big fella's got to be able to face it.
The big man needs.
Sit next to me on a flight more than 45 minutes.
You'll be begging for first class.
You'll pay whatever you want.
I feel bad for my girlfriend anywhere we fly because we're in the back.
But then Yanni said, tell the big man to lean left because we're about to sort of do a barrel roll.
That was a goodie.
Yeah, yeah.
Folks, hang on one second. Then you told me about his bloody marriage. goodie. Yeah, yeah. Folks, hang on one second.
Then you told me about his Bloody Marys, like nine.
Yeah, I'm like, he's nine deep already.
Yeah, a couple of blocks.
I think I fell asleep.
Yeah, which usually happens after nine Bloody Marys.
Now, what's the heartburn like after nine Bloody Marys?
It's not bad.
It's not bad.
So it gets to a point like four is bad, but then you go past it, it's nine.
No, well, I take Nexium, which you can eat glass on that thing for my acid reflux.
And it's not really like spicy food that does it to me.
It's shitty food that does it to me.
Like if I have McDonald's, I have the worst heartburn ever.
Yeah.
But a nice Bloody Mary, I'm okay.
That's weird.
Yeah.
Because usually it's the Bloody Mary, the tomato sauce, the orange juice, the citrus.
They get you.
Bacon in the morning will jam me up.
Yeah.
I don't know why.
Yeah. On an empty stomach.
So fried stuff, maybe.
Fried stuff is bad.
Yeah, that gives you heartburn, too.
Yeah, I don't do it.
I've ruined this ottoman, by the way.
I can feel it.
It's creasing.
I've been looking at creasing, dude.
You are six inches.
We're going to have to reframe this.
For the last 20 minutes, I've been thinking, how am I going to get out of here?
My legs hurt so bad right now.
You were supposed to be sitting here, but you said you didn't like the pose.
This is better optically, I think, for the face.
People could be eating out there, Yanni.
And now I'm all sweaty.
Now you look like the Buddha from Philly.
You look like the Buddha if the booty grew up in Philly.
Would it change?
It's fucking...
People leaving
percocets on my feet.
Guys, you know,
there's no hoop.
Just gotta...
You have to, you know...
Just, you know,
you can't want anything.
You gotta accept,
you know, occasional...
To put mayonnaise
on a Italian hoagie
is wrong.
Yeah.
So, how's the
Are You Garbage army doing? They're doing they're good they're good shout out to
the army shout out to the ayg army you guys got probably the funnest live show you guys are
killing it thank you your fans come out and you play these games with them yes which is like the
perfect fun night out it's awesome and the live show is we co-headlined.
We've been comics for fucking 10, 12, 14 years, whatever the fuck it is.
So we each co-headlined.
Not with a good time.
Thanks for having us over.
I got two words.
Window unit.
All right?
Something.
Jesus.
It's hot in here.
I feel like a hostage.
It's actually not that bad.
And you know what? DeRosa made a good point when he was here. We should It's hot in here. I feel like a hostage. It's actually not that bad. And you know what?
DeRosa made a good point when he was here.
We should just put the AC on.
I mean, the audio quality, nobody gives a shit.
A little room tone.
Nobody gives a shit.
Yeah, nobody cares.
They don't care if there's a little buzz in the back.
Anyway, go ahead.
I mean, I'm pretty sure he's on the verge of a panic attack.
Well, here's the good thing.
My legs hurt so bad.
The funny part is is it'll be because
of this episode
that we institute that policy,
but we won't do it
this episode.
Sure.
And then we'll probably
never come back.
We'll be like,
do it in some future generations.
Yeah, if Foley dies,
we'll be like,
we got to put the AC on
because Foley died
on the podcast.
Foley didn't make it
out of Big Ridge.
They buried him
on 3rd Avenue.
So we got to just have
the podcast in here, right?
That's not safe.
Put me in the planter downstairs.
Yeah.
You were saying, I'm sorry.
Oh, no, so the live show is we co-headline,
and then we play AYG with the crowd.
Everybody emails, and you get there,
and they email in their, like, garbage question,
which we found out everybody wants to ask
their garbage question.
Some of them are fucking bananas crazy.
Yeah, they're great.
And then it's like, we just do that.
We shit on.
It's a fucking good fucking time.
And you know what's wild that we've noticed?
People, some people really open up about shit that you wouldn't want really wouldn't want to tell another person they ask in front of 200 people and it's great yeah we had this one in
Gramercy where the girl said is it garbage to uh leave your job as a pharmacist to shuck oysters
in Long Island and as soon as she asked that, I was like,
she didn't leave that voluntarily.
Something happened.
I was like, what happened?
She's like, yeah, I was dipping into the perks.
Yeah.
And just had this real honest moment, man.
It was so fucking great.
That's fun.
Yeah, it was really cool.
Yeah.
And, like, everybody applauded her.
We're like, thank you for sharing.
It's like a real fucking dirtbag moment.
Because we all have that going on.
Yeah.
That's the great thing about it.
And that's why it'll never run out of legs
is because we are all,
all trash.
We never,
when we made it,
we weren't thinking about it
and it was just more of like,
oh,
it'll be fun to get some laughs
and we'll tell some stories
or whatever.
But like,
we're realizing
that everybody is trash
and everybody wants to share.
It's,
and it's not like,
ah,
you fucking did this.
It's,
it's like, welcome to the party. You know what I mean? It's like, come on in the water, it's fine it's not like ah you fucking did this it's it's like
welcome to the party you know it's like come on in the water's fine yeah yeah it's celebrated not
fucking yeah made fun of yeah and that's how it should be i mean you know people should just have
a sense of humor about themselves and know that they're garbage we're fungus growing on a rock
sure it's really what we are yes we're all trash we're gonna die we're so small infinitely small
in this universe and we're nothing compared to
Muhammad, the prophet.
What the fuck? Dump that.
What the fuck's this fucking commie bastard
talking about? I got to go home
for Mother's Day. What are you doing to me?
You know, as far as purity
goes, we're low on the scale. Very.
Question for you guys. Go ahead. My mom used
to reuse paper towels.
That's an immigrant thing.
Is that trash or immigrant?
How did she reuse them?
What are we talking about?
Exactly.
She would dry them.
So she'd use it
to dry the counter.
Okay.
And then she'd hang it
on the dish drying rack.
She'd hang them on the side
like that.
She'd fold it over the pole.
That's like grandmother.
That's like immigrant shit.
That is what it is.
They don't, in their head, like, my, like, because same thing, my mom, my wife's mom
will come over and they were like refugees from Czechoslovakia at the time.
So it's like in her head to like throw something out that you used once.
They're like, the Russians might come back.
You know, I need that at some point.
Right.
So it's like she saves shit.
And I'm like, you got to fucking trash this.
What are we doing here?
But it's still trash. It is. So it's like she saves shit, and I'm like, you got to fucking trash this. What are we doing here? But it's still trash.
It is, but it's not a laziness thing.
It's like a scarcity thing.
It's like it's an anxiety.
It's not like.
But we can't just be around making excuses for people.
It's like, listen.
You're not in communist Russia anymore.
The Cossacks aren't coming.
Fucking use it.
They're 99 cents a roll.
You can't shake that shit though that easily.
Yeah, you can't.
That's generational though.
That takes a couple generations.
You're like, listen, Svelte-na.
Just fucking throw it out.
Throw it out. I'll buy you a new one.
I'll buy you a fucking new one.
My mom reuses the Ziploc bags.
The big ones.
Those things are like luggage.
She just washes them out and reuses them.
Yeah, that's
the thing you're going.
At some point, you gotta go gotta At some point you gotta go
You're gonna
At some point you guys
Are making fun of poor people
Let's be honest
Sure
Cause they're going
Hey yeah
I'm doing that now
Yeah
No I'm kidding
You're going
Hey I drink grape drink
You're like
It's kinda trash
Oh I love grape drink
Yeah it's good though
You kidding me
It's good
That's the problem
A lot of trashy shit
Is very good
And a lot of fun to do
Yes that's true
It's great
That is true And we found it's not really poor or rich
because there's so many people that grew up wealthy
or grew up with money that did so much.
Their parents did the trashiest shit.
Sometimes the wealthiest people are the most frugal.
Right.
You know what I mean?
And do shit like that.
Right, right, right, right, right, right, right.
So even you, you make a good buck.
You were telling us you throw all your trash in a fireplace.
I throw my underwear and I shit them in the fireplace too.
I don't care how much money you got in the trash.
Yeah, but that's thrifty though.
No, no, no.
You don't want to...
That's trash.
You don't want anyone to...
Good point.
You don't want anyone to find your undies in the trash.
But if you fucking...
I do it like a body.
It's like I killed someone.
You want to get rid of the evidence.
He burns it.
He's sitting there with a scotch.
Trying to forget
what happened.
Sitting by the fireplace.
Forgive me,
Father Fire.
It's been three days
since I've seen my parents.
How often is that fire
going out there?
It sounds like
every fucking day.
You do it in the house,
don't you?
I streak my Tommy Johns
all the time.
And believe me,
I don't like throwing away
a $30 pair of fucking underwear,
but I do it.
I do it because I don't want my... You burn it in the fireplace? My mother-in-law does my laundry, I don't like throwing away a $30 pair of fucking underwear, but I do it. I do it because I don't want my... My mother-in-law
does my laundry. I don't want her to find my fucking
streaks. You sure you ain't Italian?
Greek's pretty close.
Ah, that's awesome. Yeah.
Your mother-in-law seeing your dirty drawers?
She's...
Your family. She's my family.
Maybe she's not looking too close.
Jeez, dude, I don't care who you are.
You grab someone else's pair of underwear,
you take a little looky-loo.
I always get black underwear.
Let's be honest.
There's always a streak on that.
She does it better than you would, right?
Don't they smell better and fresher when a mom does them?
100%.
100%.
She's basically living with us at this point
because, like, the kids and stuff like that.
That kind of helps out a little bit.
That's awesome.
Yeah.
And they probably love having grandma around.
It's the best.
It's the best.
Yeah, it's just nice to watch my kid have a grandparent around.
Sure.
You know?
It's a good thing.
Yeah.
We don't do that too much in America anymore.
We throw the grandparents out.
I want that.
Send them down to Florida.
Ship them out.
I want to try to get my mom up here, but she won't do it.
That's good.
That's old school.
That's the way it should be. Dude, your mom
is what? A seven-year-old
mover up the Queens?
She lives in the Burbs. She's got a pool.
She don't want to come up to a four-story walk-up.
That's insane.
Got this broad on the F train and shit.
I'm still pushing. What the fuck? She's got a Jeep.
She's chilling. She's got a yard.
Don't move her up here. But if we have kids, I would love
to have that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm looking at houses in the Burbs by my family all outside of Philly.
Ooh, you going back home?
It's the same thing.
I'm the same distance as you if I go to Philly.
That's a good point.
I go to the Burbs of Philly.
I say, why go an hour north?
Why go an hour south?
I'm fucking 15 minutes from the fam.
That's a good point, actually.
You're in between.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's like, yeah, my commute's 45 minutes or an hour, hour 10, whatever the fuck it is.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Just do it that way.
Yeah, and it's not, there's a lot of-
Get a pool, get a house with a yard.
Then you get a little summer home down there in Point Pleasant.
Nah, Wildwood.
I'm a North Wildwood guy, baby.
What's-
It's the trashiest of the trash.
Point Pleasant.
It's where plumbers can afford a house.
That's where I go.
Is Point Pleasant no good?
Point Pleasant's classy, bro.
Yeah, it's real classy.
Yeah, so then why'd you say it like it wasn't?
Because he's not going to nice, classy places.
He's going to North Wildwood.
I can't.
With the rest of the HVAC people.
Dude, the best line I ever heard.
A lot of plumbing vans parked down there.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I spent a lot of when you go to the beach, you know how people put up like, I went to
Penn State to put up a Penn State flag.
It's all Trump flags.
Yeah, yeah.
It's all Temple University and Trump flags.
But I was on the beach in North Wildwood.
I spent the pandemic down there just randomly.
I was just,
we went down for the weekend because they were like talking about locking down New York.
So me and the,
me and the bird were like,
let's go down there for two,
three days.
You and the bird?
Me and the bird.
Yeah.
We're like,
let's lock it down for two,
three days.
Let's go down there for two,
three days because we're going to be locked in this fucking apartment for two weeks.
It sounds like.
And then we got down there and that night we got down there,
they were like,
New York shut down.
I'm like, I ain't fucking going back there.
Remember we thought it was two weeks?
Yeah, every week.
Two weeks.
Whatever.
But we were on the beach
and there was this,
she looked like,
she looked like dog to bounty hunters wife.
Like fucking big busty broad
fucking cans hanging out.
And she goes,
what the,
it was when everybody,
antibodies, vaccine, it was all, you know, it was probably like, it was And she goes, what? It was when everybody, antibodies, vaccine.
It was all, you know,
it was probably like,
it was probably like May, right?
All that stuff's whirling around.
What is what?
She goes,
what the fuck is an antibody anyway?
Does that mean you got it
or you don't?
Who the fuck knows?
And I was like,
we are fucked.
I don't know what antibodies are,
but I ain't living next to them.
I'll tell you that.
The fuck is an antibody anyway?
How did you guys
get together? Did you meet in comedy?
Yeah. Yeah, in Philly.
He needed somebody to bum smokes off of.
That's what happened?
Yeah, that's what happened. We had an open mic in Philly
that everybody used to do, and
he started doing it, and we became buddies.
So did you become buddies and then move down together,
or you moved down and then you were like, oh, good to see you.
There was a bunch of us in Philly. Yeah, we came in on a wave.
Yeah, we came in on a wave.
We were all down there for about five, seven years.
People started trickling up.
And then in 2013, Cassidy had Tommy Cassidy had just moved up.
Reggie and I, Reggie Conquest and I moved up, I think, on the same day.
Yeah.
Just at January 1st or 2nd.
And then he moved up in the summer.
Nice.
And when did you decide to start Are You Garbage?
This is our third podcast together.
Yeah, we just signed one.
We had one that failed called Center City Comedy.
We had another one that failed called Hard Feelings.
That was the mic we ran in Philly was called the Center City Comedy Show.
And then when that kind of dissolved, we weren't using Center City Comedy.
And then we were up here running around for maybe like six, eight months,
and then we just happened to get together and do a show,
and we had a bunch of Philly people on it.
And then after that, we're like, you know,
we should focus on that rather than, you know,
trying to appease New York Comics and all that stuff,
start doing our own thing.
So then we started the Center City Comedy podcast.
We did that for about four or five years, and then that fizzled off, and then we did Hard Feelings. That had about 70 listeners. Yeah, then we started the Center City Comedy Podcast. We did that for about four or five years.
And then that fizzled off and then we did
Hard Feelings. I had about 70 listeners.
Mostly my family. And then we did
Are You Garbage? Right.
So we've been podcasting together
for 10 years. Interesting.
So you were friends the whole time and then you had the
third thing that hit. And it was also
like we were working with other people, like a bigger
extended thing. And it was always kind of me and him always had the bigger vision of like
the pod is, you know, the motor of that's like,
well, that's what's pushing everybody else,
like all these big comics.
So you just like, we got to figure out what it is.
We got to figure out what it is.
The stripped down version of our identity was Are You Garbage?
We knew we were very good together, right?
Like our rhythm, our cadence.
Very good.
Like amazing. It's fun to watch. you garbage. We knew we were very, we're very good together, right? Like our rhythm, our cadence. Very good. And, like,
amazing.
It's fun to watch.
And we try to make each,
because we're swinging and make each other laugh.
Like,
I know exactly
what makes him laugh
and he knows what,
so we're like,
it's just like sparring,
just trying to make fun
of each other
and get each other to laugh.
And then we were doing a show
in fucking the middle,
it was like Pittsburgh
or Altoona,
Pennsylvania.
We only got a couple minutes left.
I'm so uncomfortable.
I don't think I'm getting out of this seat.
I swear to God.
Don't worry.
We're going to get a crane to help you out of here.
You're definitely going to have to move these chairs.
My legs are so stiff.
I feel like Murtaugh sitting on the toilet.
Nothing on that.
Take the gun.
Shut up.
That leaves a weapon, too.
I'm so open to shit.
I got to drag his ass around the country.
This is what it's like.
Yeah, well, you guys, you got to walk at a slower pace.
Well, now, I just, I walk fast.
I walk faster than the average human.
So you just text them later.
I just go, hey, man.
I keep up with them.
He does, but I go.
In the airport, I catch up on the little escalator things.
Well, no, that's where I smoke them.
That's where I really gain distance.
When we were on that plane with you, we were in the last terminal. Oh, that. That's where I smoke them. That's where I really gain distance. When we were on that
plane with you,
we were in the last
terminal in like
J.F. Taylor.
Oh, that was the worst
day of my life.
It was a 20-minute walk.
What the fuck is that
bullshit?
That's the spot Delta has?
All that money?
You're down at the end
of the fucking airport?
Jesus Christ.
Dude, I go,
I'll meet you.
I saw how far
while we were at like B1
and we had to be at like B88.
I'm like, dude,
I'll fucking see you down there.
So, dude, he just kept getting smaller.
I would look back.
He was smaller and smaller.
Dude, I was stopping to take a pee.
I stopped and got headphones, got a smoothie.
And then I fucking finally like...
I was pouring sweat when I got there.
Look at the fucking unibomber.
We're going to let me on a plane.
That's probably why she cut me off on a Bloody Mary.
I was pouring sweat.
And I had two, three Bloody Marys in me.
You ever try to walk when you're drunk?
Oh, that's sad.
Yeah.
Being drunk and fat's tough.
Oh, just pouring sweat.
Yeah, it's a double whammy trying to walk.
Brutal.
You guys are living the dream because you get to tour together.
It's fun to go with a friend.
That's so cool.
It's like we're so fortunate.
We bring Toby comes with this.
New guy Luke comes with this, who's our other editor.
And Tommy Cassidy.
Toby's great.
Remember when I did the episode and I said, how's your girl?
And you guys, do you remember that?
So Toby's their producer.
You guys probably know if you're fans of theirs, you're watching.
Tebow.
Yeah, Tebow.
And so me and him, we talked for a little while.
And he did a couple clips for me.
And he was telling me about his girl.
And I was like, you know, at that time, my mom was going down, my dad was going.
I had a period where everyone in my family was sick and dying.
Yeah, me too.
It was a rough period, and so I was talking to him,
and then I came in.
I hadn't spoken to him in a while.
I came in to do the first Are You Garbage?
And I was like, Toby, you know, I was like, how's your girlfriend?
And everyone was just quiet, and they go,
and you guys were like, well, she's dead.
She's no longer with us.
I was like, sorry, man.
We were like, the balls to come in and lead with that is nuts.
Hey, what's up?
I haven't seen you in two years since we last talked about your sick girlfriend.
How's she doing, by the way?
It almost came off like I was joking.
Like, yeah, so how's the girl?
Yeah, it was like a roast.
She's been dead for a year.
I'm like, oh, Jesus, sorry.
Yeah, T-Bone really went through it.
It was tough.
But we couldn't have done it without him.
He's awesome.
It is kind of crazy.
It is one of those things,
life-wise,
that made me kind of re...
The first year the pod started doing well,
between me, him, and T-Bone,
we all had a personal...
Took lumps.
We were just fucking... It's one of those things, we all and like dude we were just
fucking
and you're like
it's one of those
things too of like
oh just
the whole
10 years you're
working doing comedy
like as long as
my comedy career
takes off
everything will be
okay and then it
does and you're like
oh no this isn't
the answer
you know what I mean
like it's just
like if your
personal life's great
your professional
life might be shit
and it was like
I like had to
zoom out and be
like look at it
from 10,000 feet
of like okay like it's not all And be like Look at it from 10,000 feet Of like
Okay like
It's not all gonna be
Fucking sunshine and roses
Cause we got Yanni P on the pod
Yeah
Cause like you said
At the end of the day
No matter what
Whether you're rich
You're poor
Black, white
Hispanic, Chinese
Whatever
We're all fucking trash
Yeah
And everything
And life is trash
Yeah
Life's shit
That's why we have a job
Yeah
We make people laugh
We cheer them up
I know Because life is shit Tragedy doesn's shit. That's why we have a job. We make people laugh. We cheer them up. I know.
Because life is shit.
Tragedy doesn't stop.
And you're all going to die.
I'll say this, though.
Looking back, the only thing that I regret is sitting in this seat.
That's the only thing.
I mean, that was a wild call, dude.
I'm hurting so bad.
We should have done this from bed, to be honest.
Two of my favorite guys.
You guys are fucking funny.
You're all so warm.
And you're good people. Thank you, buddy.
You got the trifecta.
Yeah, you're sweating. They're great.
Are You Garbage? If you don't know, now you know.
You gotta go check these guys on the road.
Thank you, buddy. On their tour.
What's the webby?
AreYouGarbage.com. Just launched it last week, baby.
That's a domain name. That's how bad a business we are.
We just launched a website last week.
And also, I bought the wrong one.
I sent it to the web guy.
I go, yeah, I got it.
Here's the domain.
He goes, this is spelled wrong.
I said, all right, let me buy the new one.
RUgarage.com.
I love how big your eyes are.
I got a big set of peepers on me.
You got a big set of fucking baby blues.
I open them up on you, too.
That's a nice pick.
He did a good job with that.
Yeah.
I have gum in my mouth.
Yeah.
I thought I was losing a tooth.
The greatest guys in the world.
Thank you, buddy.
Philly's own.
Love you, buddy.
Thank you, guys.
Thank you so much for having us.
Thank you for coming.
Of course.
Thank you.
Yeah.
And thanks for-
Quite a bit of joy.
Thanks for breaking my Ottoman.
That's the fall of the Ottoman Empire right there.
Now pull in the crate.
Let's get the big guy out of that seat.
All right.
Truth be told, last night I had myself a nice little root beer.
Oh, you got a little naughty, didn't you?
I got a little naughty.
I had a Brooklyn Cannery.
Oh, so you didn't get naughty.
Root beer.
No, I didn't get naughty.
I was good.
You got healthy.
I'm not on Santa's naughty list.
No, not at all.
I was watching the games.
I have a case of jalapeno lime left
I have almost a case of root beer
And then I have to re-up
Because I have drunken
Is drunken the way you say it?
I've drank
Sure why not
I've drunken all the rest
Of my Brooklyn Cannery sodas
Because they're that good
They're really good
Brooklyncannery.com
15% off your next
order of all
your healthy, all natural sodas.
No added sugar. Low in
calories. And when I mean low in calories, it's not like
because they put like the Diet Coke.
What does Diet Coke use? It's like...
Chemicals and shit. There's no chemicals in this.
They use stevia. They use monk fruit.
They sweeten these sodas
with natural stuff.
Shit that you can read, that you can pronounce.
You can digest, let's be honest.
Yeah, that other shit went into the atomic bomb.
Absolutely.
It's chemicals.
And these are prebiotic sodas, which means they're good for your gut as well.
They have some, what is that, live cultures in there, I guess.
That's what that means.
Something like that.
Prebiotic.
Prebiotic.
So do you order some of these?
Yes, I do.
Yeah.
These are a great option if you like soda.
It really is.
You just, they order, you order a case to your house or whatever you want.
BrooklynCannery.com.
Promo code Giannis Pappas.
You'll get 15% off your order.
Any order.
So go ahead and get them.
We love Brooklyn Cannery.
Chrissy Minetti.
I think he emailed us.
What is he saying?
He's buying a sign.
But before he buys a sign, if you need cash, if you need cash, okay,
and you got a check, go meet Chris Minetti somewhere.
Just call him up, 215-750-3730 in the South Jersey Philly area,
and he will cash your check.
He's a check-cashing establishment.
That's all he does.
Don't ask him to do nothing else.
If you need a business check cashed,
that's what you got to do.
And that's all there is to it.
Ask Yanni to add free check cashing
if you show proof of thalassemia minor.
So Mediterranean kids, no charge.
Did he send another?
Scroll down to the bottom.
Dude, there's so many messages.
Yeah, go all the way to the bottom.
Let's see what the last one is from Minetti.
All right, give me a minute.
Really?
Oh, because you got to go.
Just click on it.
It'll go to the, it'll go, click on here.
Oh, all right, we'll do it at the end.
Yeah.
All right, let's go to the next one.
Did you read his number?
Yeah, I read his number.
All right.
For the free.art music in Hawaii.
Next. Exclusiveautoshipping.com. Yeah I read his number For the free Dot art Music in Hawaii Next
Exclusiveautoshipping.com
You're moving your wheels
Or if you bought a car out of state
Hit up exclusiveautoshipping.com
Student and military discounts
Are available as well
What else we got?
Manly Girly Studios
You know the deal
Get their merch
Check out their podcasts
20% off their merch
With promo code
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And don't forget to check out
Their biggest hit
Ju-Anon
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The Manly Girly Show
If you're in North Carolina
Go to their live show
At their house
Couple of North Carolina kids
Doing a bunch of
They got a podcast network
I love when guys got a network
Of five or six podcasts
That's when you know
We're in like a boom
They don't have just one
With a few listeners
They got five
You never know what's gonna hit
You never know
Keep throwing stuff at the wall
You heard the RU Garbage guys
They did it
Three failed ones
No but those guys
Are blowing up big.
Okay.
Our favorite lady here, Samantha Gubera.
Right, Gubera?
That's correct.
All right.
Check out her farrier service in Nashville, 864-200-9007.
Or visit the sporthorsefarrier.com
If your horse needs new shoes
Get the hooves right
She's basically
Like the goat app for horses
Pretty much, yes
Get your horse some new kicks
At the sports
The sport horse farrier
Sporthorsefarrier.com.
864-200-900.
Everyone's got a horse, and everyone's in the market for a farrier.
So enough with these obscene vet bills from these bullshit farriers.
Sam Gubera is the real deal.
And I know because I got tons of experience dealing with farriers.
So I know what a good farrier is like.
Displaypros.net
Somebody else is making our sign.
You're too slow.
What do they do, Displays.net?
Displays. Pros.
If you have anything that you need for a car show
or anything like that or any
outdoor salesman or whatever.
If you got a business and you it to be on the display,
hit these guys up.
They'll hook you up.
They have a free consultation, I believe, right?
So, yeah, just go to displaypros.net,
and if you go put in the code WHATSTHEDEALIST,
you'll get 10% off your first purchase.
Tell them that Giannis sent you.
Or Jared.
Or, yeah, or Jesse, or Jesse's glasses.
The finger painter.
Hey, Jesse, another updated copy.
Jesus Christ.
Chat GBT, channeling Kanye.
Is this our cute Nofumara Eastern Hemi, but we'll suck a cock for a penny?
Yeah.
That's him.
He wrote The City.
Have you read it?
Has anyone read a page of it?
No.
No.
Let's just be honest.
I tried to go to the Instagram page for it, but then my Instagram got reported.
So.
All right.
So this is his
new review. Just peep the city. Shit's
straight up crazy, like a movie on paper.
Gang wars, political battles, and
one OG ex-military dude holding it down.
If you're about that life, check it out.
Hashtag urban mayhem. Hashtag
revenge plot. Hashtag skyscraper life.
Okay. Alright,
yeah. So go check out the book, the city,
or the novel, the graphic novel, The City. There's also an Instagram page for So go check out the book, the city or the novel,
the graphic novel,
the city.
There's also an Instagram page for it.
Where's it at Jesse?
Uh,
the city graphic novel on Instagram.
Yeah.
Sarah czar.com.
Sarah czar.com as well.
Yeah.
But they dropped a couple of copies and the third copies come in.
The third chapter chapter is coming pretty soon.
So check that out.
He should just send a copy to the studio.
Send a copy to the studio,
buddy. Message us, send a copy, send a copy to the studio. Send a copy to the studio, buddy.
Message us, send a copy to the studio.
Send a copy to the studio so Giannis can read all the words wrong.
Yeah, we could have Jared act it out.
Well, what we'll do is we'll read it here.
We'll open it to a page and we'll read a scene.
Yes.
I'm sure it's great.
All right, Staffing Beaver.
Does one thing.
What does they do?
They eat pussy.
Yeah.
Staffing Beaver.
They hire chicks to get sexually harassed.
They find you offshore remote talent to fill important roles in your business.
Basically, are you looking for a hot chick who's going to look the other way when you sexually harass her?
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Now, how are you going to have a name Beaver Staffing and not be looking for porn actresses?
You know this is a front for chicks to be cam girls.
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This is fucking a subsidiary of Andrew Tate's company, Beaver.
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You want to fill some holes in your company.
Call Staffing Beaver.
Do they have a phone number?
Probably.
What was those back in the day?
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Yeah.
All right.
So check out staffingbeaver.com and fill some holes in your company.
Tell them you get a little discount, too.
Oh, you mentioned that Yanni sent you, you'll get 10% off your first placement fee.
Yeah, very nice.
Global talent is the hack to growing your business fast.
Oh, so they get it from all over the world.
So they'll get you some cheap labor out of Sri Lanka.
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Make sure to follow them
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All right.
All right.
Oh, when reading our copy,
can you display
our Twitter page?
They'd like,
all right, Jesse,
if he remembers it,
he'll put it up.
And that's it.
That's it.
We'll see you next week.
It's been a long day.