Yannis Pappas Hour - We are The United States of Advertising - Long Days with Yannis Pappas - Episode 3

Episode Date: January 17, 2021

Every Sunday Comedian Yannis Pappas is here to give you a LONG DAY! He's going to attack the headlines and the trending bullshit. He's also going to answer questions from the fans live on air. The show goes out every Sunday to youtube and audio platforms but while it's being recorded the show goes LIVE it Yannis' Instagram! Come join in on the LONG DAY. This ep Yanni talks the podcast gold rush during pandemic, robots aren’t dangerous humans are, richest men on the planet are ON NOTICE, pandemic created a bunch of Billionaires in China, power is evil, pharmacist taints 500 doses of coronavirus vaccine, the greeks will beat covid!, Long Island is a different type of place CUZ, Trump as a leader, the left and right have lost their mind, politicians are criminals, will Trump be next dick cheny, Yanni learns about only fans and predicts where that will go in the future, asain women have highest average weekly salary, who Yanni would bring with him on Family Feud, are celebrities genius or are we stupid?, we are the United States of advertising, They sell us trash, Barron Trump, Trumps collection of wives, AOC vs Kardashians, YOU ONLY HAVE 5 YEARS TO REACH YOUR DREAMS OR ELSE! Our country is just a victim of our public school systems, Rona is dangerous don’t be stupid CUZ Follow LONG DAYS Yannis Pappas Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/yannispappas/ Twitter - https://twitter.com/yannispappas Website - https://www.yannispappascomedy.com/ Also check out Yannis' other podcast with Chris Distefano! HISTORY HYENAS https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZP_D4LToVo7Tqmbw-Zr-QA Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What's the Dallas? What's the Dallas? What's the Dallas? What's up? Welcome to Yanni Long Days. Long Days with Yanni. Should we call it Yanni Long Days or Long Days with Yanni? It's Long Days.

It's what it is. The great Mike Lavin. Welcome to episode two of Long Days. I hope you enjoyed one with guest the great Tim Dillon. This is the party where we just explore wherever my brain wants to go we talk about current events we slip into gay voices we do whatever i'm just gonna become gay for a year just to live with somebody else for a year why not but then people are watching this going that's offensive not all gay people talk like that. But as the great David Cross, his old specials are great.

He used to say, yeah, I understand. Not all gay people speak like this, but only gay people speak like this. So that's what it is. What's up? Welcome. So here we are, still in the pandemic. We're doing podcasts. We've been flourishing.

Like, I'm not going to lie to you. This has been a good time. If you've had a podcast that people like, it's been a good time because everything went all digital, but nobody's going to come to us and vent any anger on us because we're small potatoes. Okay. There's big potatoes that you get at a steakhouse and then you go to McDonald's and you get thin frozen sliced fucking potato fries we are those slins thin sliced potato fries and then you got the jeff bezos's of the world you got the elon musk of the world which by the way i think they are now the two richest men on the planet so on and so forth the zuckerbergs and whatever Chinese scientists somehow have made the fucking richest persons list on the planet.

When did scientists become rich? So that's a problemo if you speak Espanol, and I know you do, Hillary. I know you do, Hillary Baldwin. That is a problemo. Why the fuck are CCPcp endorsed chinese scientists on the world's richest list is it because they create and buy your weapons by government contract it ain't because they fucking making shirts that end up at old navy at a factory i'll pay that much they make

you know what i mean so it's a weird thing but yeah i mean this has been a time where tech has flourished whoever owns zoom i mean i mean you make them how do they make money we pay a subscription right we pay them like yeah yeah zoom crushed it um don't get too far from the mic there yeah because we're in focus that's a heavy duty camera so here's the thing it's not a surprise that these people added trillions of dollars to their net worth during the pandemic whether that should be public knowledge i don't know so jeff bezos, Amazon was on that trajectory anyway. They're testing out drones now. Here's the thing. I'm all for progress. People say they're scared of robots. I never understood that. Robots have been nothing but helpful. Robots do eye surgery now. They do heart surgery.

There's a person manipulating the robot, but the efficaciousness of a robot is a million times out of a human. We made the robots. The problem is, yeah, humans can make robots. They can make bad ones as well. I get it. But that means I'm not scared of the robots. I'm scared of the fucking people. What robot has ever put people in ovens? Zero. What people have done it? One guy with a little stash that only two people had, him and Michael Jordan for some strange reason during his Hanes commercial era. The kid had a Hitler stash and never read any explanation about it. He's the only other person since Hitler. By the way, that stash, when you say is good, stronger than evil,

I'm going to tell you right now. Evil's stronger, right? Look who the most popular people on the planet are they're all evil they're tiktokers those kids are fucking evil are you kidding me you think those kids who have now have charities in their bios are good people all they care about is looking hot and dancing and hypnotizing hypnotizing you they're evil evil people who else is uh fucking famous Alec Baldwin. He's evil. He didn't impersonate the Trump.

He's evil. I'm joking. But what's more powerful, good or evil? All you have to look, look no further than these two individuals. Binky, listen to this point. You're going to love this. Charlie Chaplin, Adolf Hitler.

Around, they were alive at the same time. They both had the same stash. Okay? Now, is that stash permitted in the world now? No. That's because Hitler had it. Because you can look at it either way. You could call it a Charlie Chaplin stash or you could call it a Hitler stash.

Nobody calls it a Charlie Chaplin stash because evil is more powerful than good. So Hitler's more remembered than Charlie Chaplin, even though Charlie Chaplin at the time, probably just as famous as Hitler for better reasons. I mean, the kid did a lot of better, but how many books are written about Hitler? How many about Charlie Chaplin? I don't know. I think Hitler might've done us a favor. You want that mustache running around? Oh, when you said Hitler did us a favor, I really wanted to hear the end of that sentence

or else we would have to go press stop. Let's do this again because there are watching people live. He did us a favor, but you got to hear the whole sentence. Now Seth Simon's going to take that clip and your career's over. Mike Lavin going, Hitler did us a favor.

Clip it. Yeah, he did us a favor getting that fucking stash out because that stash was fucking stupid. That would be all over Brooklyn. But at the time it was hot. You know what I mean? People now are wearing wearing doc martens again i think they look stupid but they're hot right now like at one point people were wearing other people's hair as their hair with with stockings on and fucking candy core shoes and somebody told them it was hot by the way

i think that was gay people who were in charge of fashion but they were so pissed that they weren't allowed to be gay and come out. So they were like, we're just going to make them wear the most fucked up shit and tell them it's cute because straight guys, bro. We guys don't know the difference. And by the way,

this gay voice is for the guy on Twitter who said my other podcast, hyenas with Chris DiStefano is just Chris saying he's gay and me doing a gay voice. It's one of the funniest critiques ever. I tweeted it and now we have a question from zach isis again zach isis cuz welcome back zach isis he's a he's a good rapper and he should start a band with jan the squeak and call it zach isis and jan the squeak if you make that the band name we will play it on hyenas all the time we love zach isis our first producer

great rapper good battle rapper yeah i mean from queens yeah me he wrote in uh why are you and chris beefing and what happened to mush who yeah what is this me and chris beefing thing here's the thing chris started a podcast with sal totally screwed in okay sal's Sal's famous. And Chrissy has built a really nice following online now. So, you know, his clips get a lot of views and the algorithm is pumping. So those kids started a podcast. Sal's one of the greatest guys on the planet. And, you know, Chris needs money to buy a house

for his extended family. So, yeah, why are people saying me and Chris is beefing? What is this? What is this? I think people... You know, it's just people say whatever.

Yeah, and they think you have different producers too. I don't get it. It's all Mikey and it's like whatever. This is like, it all feeds each other. Like if Sal and Chris's podcast

do well, that's more people are going to listen to hyenas. The more people listen to hyenas, listen to Sal's and Chris's. Who gives a shit? So why are people saying this now that he started a podcast? I keep getting messages, the hyena's breaking up.

Not breaking up. You know? Why would we break up? We have such a good time. Why are they thinking we're beefing? I think they just love gossip. It's the old radio. No, me and Chris DiStefano are not beefing.

These other podcasts are not an indication of anything else. They're just other shows. You know what I mean? And we have one female fan writing in here. What does she do when a fuckboy keeps DMing her after midnight? How does she get out of a booty call? Finally, I wanted to make this show more like Ask Alice. So that

was a column. I'm dating myself now. That used to be like a famous column where girls would write in and be like, so this is what happened. My husband cheated on me and then she would write back and women read this horse shit. So how do you stop a guy from being a fuck boy? Stop choosing fuck boys. That's all there is to it. You knew he was a fuck boy when you got involved.

That's what, you know, look, drama makes things fun when you're young. And you should totally date the wrong people when you're young. Dating the wrong people always is when the sex is amazing right off the bat. That's your first hint that it's going to end because anything that starts really lit has nowhere to go. And in reality, it's the law of gravity. There's only one place to go where we all going into the ground. You start up here and then you fucking end in the dirt. So if it starts litty, enjoy it. You got to go into the ground. You start up here and then you fucking end in the dirt. So if it starts litty, enjoy it. You got to go into the next one and it's cool, but don't be delusional. You should only be delusional for like the first or second one. Cause it's fun to think this is, oh my God,

this is my soulmate. We're going to be together. If you ever call someone your soulmate and they challenge you, if you're saying they challenge you and it's your soulmate and all that stuff, you guys are both in a state of mental illness and enjoy it. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with that because mental illness is fun. Being high is fun, but when you're high, you're mentally ill.

If you're talking to someone who's on coke, they don't know what they're talking about. They're essentially, they have a temporary mental illness. So there's nothing better than those relationships that are temporary mental illnesses. Those relationships are always with fuckboys. Enjoy it.

Do it. But then when you're mature, you got to find someone to be comfortable and miserable with. That's what it is. Something that has legs. Something you know is going to last a long time. If you're comfortable in silence with someone, marry that person.

And now also, what'd you think of the pharmacist who tampered with 500 doses of the vaccine? National hero. I mean, national hero. Okay. How do we really know? How do we really know if this virus works if he doesn't do his own placebo test? So I don't know if you know the full story, but the full story is he decided to administer his own placebo test. So I don't know if you know the full story, but the full story is he decided to administer his own placebo test to see if the vaccine really worked. So how do we really know to trust Pfizer, their review, and then Canada's subsequent review, and the FDA's subsequent review of Pfizer's review,

and Moderna's review, if this pharmacist, where was this pharmacist? In Wisconsin. If this pharmacist, where was this pharmacist? If this pharmacist in Bumble, where in cheese head, yeah. Cheese head, Wisconsin doesn't do his own study of a control group of 47 Green Bay Packers fans who eat cheese curds and are 600 pounds overweight. And they come to get their fucking stomach staple medicine

and their blood pressure medicine and their fucking cholesterol medicine, and you say, hey, by the way, here's the vaccine, and you give them a little toothpaste vial full of water and say, let's see if they get better just because their mind has told them they get better because they're a placebo group. That's what he was trying to do.

He was trying to create his own placebo group and so he wasted all this. You're a national hero. So there's about, what was it, 500? There's about 500 people's

grandparents that are going to be dead because of you. I mean, you could call them like the biggest mass murderers since Columbine. Somebody writing in,

Yanni, what's more likely? You take the vaccine or visit Binghamton, New York? I will take the vaccine. That's not even a question. Give me the vaccine right now, even though I got Nature Shield, baby. I got the stars and stripes protecting me right now because I had COVID and I beat it.

Just like when we stormed the beaches of Normandy, I took a couple of hits, but guess what? The red, white, and blue came out on top. Yanni came out on top because of my superior Greek sins. The Nazis didn't kill the Greeks. The Ottomans didn't kill the Greeks. The fucking Romans didn't kill the Greeks. The Germans didn't kill the Greeks.

I'm not going to let some fucking squeak Chinese virus take me out, baby. I got a baby, and I got podcasts to do. Yanni, explain Long Island to someone who's never been to the US. Long Island is its own country. So when you go to Long Island,

there really should be, like when you go to Breezy Point, Rockaway in New York, which is where Irish people think are the Hamptons. So Breezy Point is just a bunch of like Irish immigrants kids,

like cops, kids, whatever, who inherited a house. And then they go to Breezy Point and they think they're in the Hamptons. It's like the working class Irish man's Hamptons. Okay. So they go there and they sip, you know, boons and they drink Miller lights. And it's to say that's their Hamptons. So, but when you go to the Rockaway, when you go to a Breezy Point, there's a, you got to get, to get in there, you got to, there's a gate with a cop. It's like a border and you got to show residency or whatever. And there's got to be a reason you're there. We need that in Long Island. Okay. And we don't need that for them because they don't leave. They don't leave. All right. If they leave, they go to work

for eight hours and they go back. And on the weekends, they don't leave. They go to all sushi restaurants with club lighting if you like eating sushi while you're listening to techno music with purple lights then that's the spot for you if you like to fucking dance to dj mini mouse or whatever his name is what's his name dj mouse or something yeah whatever if you like to dance to fucking dj akeko aiko yo you know you're old when you don't know one DJ's name. The only DJ I know is Ronnie Cycling. That's because he's also in my age range.

I don't know what the kid, the Chinese kid with the long hair. What's his name? DJ Ikeko? Oh, the Benihana guy? I don't know. Yeah, let's just call him Wuhan. DJ Wuhan. Then you go to Long Island.

Long Island should have its own border where you have to show your passport to get in and learn a different language. You got to be able to speak English with Ws in it. So you're going to get, you're going to the mall, there's a W in there. We're going anywhere where you speak, you put extra Ws. So Long Island is its own country where they don't believe in coronavirus.

They don't believe in anything. It's a very Republican, conservative spot. And here's the deal. This is how much of its own country it is and how people don't leave. People don't know. There are nine million people on the island. That's how weird a place it is.

Anywhere else in the country you go, you say, I'm in Austin. The only place in the country where go, you say, I'm in Austin. The only place in the country where they say on is Long Island. Because you're on it. They're on top of the fucking island. And when you're on it, you're respecting it more.

You're standing on sacred ground. You're not in it, you're on it. You're standing, like, when you're on, nobody's in Mount Rushmore. They say on. And that's how Long Island people view Long Island. Holy ground, sacred, an achievement. Just like if you've climbed Mount Everest, you take a picture on Mount Everest.

Long Island, they take a picture with a fucking shape-up and hairspray. And they say, I'm on Long Island, like they've achieved something. They think that they're fucking princesses. that's where long island princesses come from they have sweet 16s that are bigger than the richest person's wedding that you know whatever south indian doctor you know in houston texas right now lives down the street who you befriended and at first thought he was muslim because your parents were scared that he moved to the neighborhood and then you had to learn that the turban was actually south indian and mean he was hindu and he taught you kama sutra that person who's a doctor who also took care of you and is your kid's pediatrician and broke down some barriers for you because you

were small-minded and you grew up in houston that doctor's wedding can't hold a candle to a jewish girl in melville long island okay but the flip side, the best bagels you ever have in your life and the best Italian food you ever have. There's a lot of Jews. There's a lot of Italians. And that's what it is out there. Somebody's writing in. What do you think Trump is implying when he says it's China's fault? China will pay. I mean, you know, here's the deal. You're talking about a guy who hasn't, who's suing the voting booth companies still.

We have a pandemic. Yesterday, I think 3,000 people died whenever you're watching this. So maybe we've broken that record by now. And, you know, Trump's been right about a lot of stuff. He wants $2,000 instead of six. You know, some of his foreign policy stuff, some of the other stuff, immigration, people like, oh my God, he's a racist. But then you look who deported the most people in history. It's Obama,

the Obama administration. The first picture they put up of the kids in cages, that was from the Obama administration. It went viral before people even understood that. He was doing some stuff at the border. ICE was a little harsh, but look, man, we're the only country where, you know, the left wing revolts when people are trying to enforce the law. They just see like, just, you know, they're, if they're here, I mean, it's like crazy. So the kid was loose with a lot of his rhetoric, but he was also like mischaracterized a lot. But at the end of the day, he's got narcissistic personality disorder and it's all about him. He thinks he's on a reality show. So to answer your question, to answer your fucking question,

what was the original question? What do you think he means China will pay? What he means China will pay? To answer your question, who the fuck knows? I don't know what he means. He's out of office in a couple days, so he can't do anything. Maybe he's got a deal with China for his own show, and that's what he means. China's going to pay because he's going to do The Apprentice, the China version.

I think he's going to start his own presidency. He's going to start his own private enterprise where he's the president, just like Trump Stakes, the game he had, Trump the book, Trump the airline. He had his own Trump football league. The kid lives in a Trump world. He wants, if he could stamp Trump on the planet, he would. That's his goal. So he's gonna start his own Trump presidency

with his own Trump constituencies. He's gonna have his own Trump White House. And it's gonna look a lot like it's on Long Island because the kid is cheesy as fuck. So I just combined two answers. I combined an answer for two questions. Here's a good one. Long Island looks like it was built by Donald Trump.

Here's a good one. Who do you think would win in a fist fight, Cuomo or de Blasio? Cuomo. Are you kidding me? I mean, his real name is Wilhelm. Here's another guy like Hilaria Trump, like all these people who just make up the story

of who they are. What's Bill de Blasio's real name? He's a German kid. His name's Wilhelm Wackenheimer or something. And he's German. And so he had some relative that was de Blasio. And in order to win in New York, he gave himself an Italian name, you know, de Blasio. So people could think Giuliani or Cuomo. Cuomo is one of those original New York politicians. His father, Mario Cuomo, was the governor. And he was the kind of guy, speaking of Long Island, who was kind of like, you know, kind of the mob knew him. You know, he was kind of like, New York was kind of like Rhode Island then. Long Island's a little

criminality involved in everything. You go to a doctor's appointment, they'll be like, do you have insurance? This is Long Island, to explain to you about Long Island. They go, you have insurance? If you got insurance, you're getting tests. If your blood pressure comes back perfect and all your numbers are perfect, guess what? You're still getting tests because they're going to say to the insurance company, we saw this and this and then they order a bunch of tests to make a little bit of money little criminality on long island with cuomo his father mario cuomo a little criminality hey i'm a greek i'm just gonna be honest with you it comes with being italian a little bit i'm sorry you guys try to attack greece we fucked you up you guys are criminals you gave

into fascism fuck you fuck you who's going to win a fight? I'm going Cuomo. He's an Italian kid. There's never been a great German boxer. The biggest German boxer probably was the kid that beat Joe Louis once, max something, and then Joe Louis fucking mopped the floor with him after that because maybe he was drinking or whatever or started a business on his side. Joe Louis fucking mopped the floor with him after that. Because maybe he was drinking or whatever.

Or started a business on his side. Joe Louis is in Harlem. At some point, every black boxer in a black and white documentary had a restaurant in Harlem at some point. So I'm sure Joe Louis had a restaurant right next to somebody else. We got a question for Derek. What's new? So there's no great German boxers.

But fucking Rocky Marciano? He's undefeated. you know, somebody else. We got a question for Derek. What's new? So there's no great German boxers, but fucking Rocky Marciano? He's undefeated. So I'm giving it to Cuomo because Italian kids don't give in. We got a question for Derek. They do it for their ma. We got a question for Derek.

What's new and what can we expect for Super Bowl Sunday? Super Bowl, what can we expect? From what? This is for Derek, your character.

Oh, Derek. Well, brother, let me tell you right now, down in Florida, we don't even watch pro football, brother, because let me tell you something right now. We grow up with college football. We watch the Gators, Florida State, the Seminoles, brother. We're a college football town. We don't even mess with any of these athletes if they're making a paycheck.

We like our athletes exploited, playing for free, risking their lives for their family while we put money on it and win or lose. It's a fair system, and that's how we like it in Florida, where it doesn't make any sense, and it's not just, but it's just, brother. For example, if you come on my property, you come on my property, I can shoot you no questions asked. Now, you may be developing, you may be, you know, an Amazon guy bringing me a package. So you may have every right to be on my property. But I may shoot you because you're on my property.

That's what we call stand your ground in Florida, brother. So that's my perfect example of something that's right, that's not right at the same time. So that's why we like gambling on college football, brother. What's going to happen on Super Bowl, however, is we are going to have one of the greatest parties my establishment has ever known down at the Pink Lagoon, Crockfield, Flamingo. We got guest bartenders coming in all the way from Austin, Texas, baby. It's hipster night. We got some of these sexy bitches. Have you ever heard of Suicide Girls? We got a couple of Suicide Girls coming down, tattoos all over their body, brother. They're cokeheads. We're going to treat them just like

Florida does, give them some shooters and some meth, brother. Coke's not the real thing until you do meth. And we're going to let it run wild. So come on down to Meth Super Bowl Night, where we watch for free because we got a little device that gives us the Super Bowl for free because it's on television and it is free, brother. It's not a pay-per-view. I just slipped into what I call a Derek Black hole because I don't know where I am right now. How did I get on this show? I just came to, brother. I'm on a podcast.

All right, we have Richie G writing in. This one's for Max and Stubbins. Who's the hottest black guy in 2021? Yes, well, the hottest black guy for sure. Max and Stubbins is someone like we don't bring back enough. And the problem is I'm from Germany and my favorite, I don't remember if I was Max or Steuben. Either way, I love black guys and I love hip-hop culture.

Not like the African black guys, although Nigerian black guys is very cute. But I like those black guys that come to the States and they get the LL Cool J flavor on them. So the hottest black guy this year definitely is Yanis Atetekunb. His name's hard to pronounce, but he's from Greece, from Zawis. I like to vacations. I go to Corfu. And then he also has hip-hop because he's been in the United States. So he's very sexy.

He's so tall. And I know he's got a big sausage. Somebody's writing in, who wins, Mitch McConnell's neck or Donald Trump's hair? Who wins? Donnie Trump's hair is legendary. I mean, that thing's been glued to the other side of his fucking head. I mean, at some point, somebody told him, comb your hair the way it's not supposed to go,

and it'll cover your bald spot. I mean, that's how, I mean, dude, he doesn't take anyone's opinion. You can just tell, you can't trust a guy who combs his hair that way. Because that's a guy who like there was at one point there you know he's like a narcissist and like an imperious dick because at some point someone said someone said some gay guy said that's wrong and he just like fired that guy and then every woman he's with is only with him because of his celebrity is loot so they don't tell him about his hair everyone who he's around is obsequ him because of his celebrity's loot, so they don't tell him about his hair.

Everyone who he's around is obsequious and looks up to him because that's the only people he surrounds himself with. He fires anyone that disagrees with him, and that's why his hair is so fucking stupid. It's the same reason. I'm not comparing him to Hitler because there's no comparison, but it's the same reason fucking Hitler had that stash because nobody told him it looked stupid.

It looks fucking stupid. Mitch McConnell, how is he still alive? How are these guys still alive? How is Dick Cheney still alive? Whoever his heart surgeon is, go research that kid for like, if he's got an underground basement full of children who he's using the blood of

in some strange sort of science, Frankenstein. Fucking Dick Cheney should be dead. I mean, the kid has had 16 heart surgeries and he's 97 years old. I mean... Well, how is he going to go down in history? Dick Cheney, he's a weird... Dick Cheney's going to go down in history.

It depends on who you ask, which is very funny because people hated Trump so much on the left. They started to like... Actually, when Cheney and Bush started to criticize Trump, people on the left started to repost and shit, and they totally forgot about that fake-ass war

we went and fought for their fucking military industrial complex. It's hilarious how everyone forgets how much they hated Dick Cheney. I mean, what Dick Cheney and Bush did compared to Trump, you can't put corona all on Trump, even though he mismanaged it. Cause every country is suffering. It's a virus. You know, it's like, whatever you do, look,

Los Angeles and California lockdown, hardest lockdowns. Now look, they have the highest cases. So what to do? I mean, and also we're like a country full of States. So every state did it differently. So you can't put it all on Trump. So it's funny to watch the left when they started to criticize Trump. That's how much they hated Trump. They would side, they would repost Bush and Cheney. Everyone forgot how much they hated them. So if you ask them, Cheney may go down as a hero because he criticized Trump. But if you ask libertarians who don't want the military in other countries that he'll go down as a devil it's all perspective which is very very 2020 isn't it i mean what is truth anyway it's opinion now opinion rocks do you think trump will have that george bush moment in like 10 years

dude he's gonna be on fucking he'll be on tv i mean jimmy fallon's gonna be petting his hair as soon as he gets out of office i mean he's going right back to the cuddly fake billionaire he was right before this whole shit. The kid is not a billionaire. Those buildings he doesn't own. He licenses his name like Michael Jordan's steakhouse. That's it. He's a celebrity. He's got a little bit of dough, but it's mostly all from his daddy, Fred, who was a monster and started building. He built all those like low income high rises in Coney Island. And from there just fucking took over. And then he just get, he decided Trump, Donald Trump was going to be his successor and his father bailed him out. I mean, Trump should be bankrupt if it wasn't for his father. He's not a great businessman. Most of the businesses failed, his casinos have failed.

Most of his shit fails unless he's using other people's money. Look at his tag. He's not a fucking real billionaire and billionaires in New York know that. And somebody wrote in, do you think Trump could pull off being a real road comic? Billionaires don't act like that. When's the last time you saw Jeff Bezos give an interview?

That kid with his one, his pirate eye is hiding somewhere in some fucking house he built in a cliff. Somebody wanted to know if Trump could do stand-up. You think he could successfully? He crushes. That's the thing he's best at that's what made um

that's what made comedy so hard in a lot of ways um during his presidency was like you know that's why making fun of him was so hacky because like he was just gonna be funnier i mean he was the most he was the funniest president we ever had and that is a scary thing because he was president your president's not supposed to be hilarious you're not supposed to be like let me you're supposed to go let's turn on it used to be let's turn on Johnny Carson for some levity now it's like let's turn on the news and see what the host of this show called America has to say. Also, just a question from me, because you just had a daughter.

Yeah. What do you think about, like... This is from you? Yeah. That's a fun way to say that we're out of questions. No, no, we haven't talked, but they're all attacking AOC. But before that... Oh, let's get to that. They want to know your thoughts on AOC.

Yeah. But I want to know what you think of OnlyFans, and, like, how that progresses in the future. Yeah, Maurice is about to get her own page, because I just did a litmus test on her facebook page and people want it and i need i need revenue streams so i'm about to put that wig back on and go on only fans and be like what's up what you want to see my foot holy shit now is it just porn stars or is like you could do anything like oh the popular girl in your high school give Give her five bucks, you get. You get pictures of her. It could be anybody. Softcore porn from anyone you know.

Yeah, it's the end. We're at the end. I mean, I hate to beat a dead horse. I've been saying it for years. Go watch my half hour. We made it. Go watch my hour. We made it to the end, dude.

This is the end of America's peak. I'm not saying it's the end of the world. Hope not. There is a threat for that, though. Climate change is a real thing. If we don't evolve, you know, we don't evolve how we, you know, how energy works, you know, there's consequences. But also there's consequences to new energy, too. I mean, nothing is free. I mean, even the batteries in Tesla, you got to mine that shit. There's a whole bunch of disruption that happens there. So we got to figure it out and you got to let scientists figure it out. But America as an

empire is over. I mean, China is going to be the biggest economy. It may already be. I mean, after this pandemic, I mean, it's an unstoppable train and that's why it's hilarious there's a new thing that just came out um the census i think it was or uh what was it um i just tweeted it too so the most asian women have just overtaken white men for average weekly salary so asian women are and they're not the only ones there's a bunch of other ethnicities. The Department of Labor. Department of Labor just released their newest statistics, 2020. And so there's a bunch of ethnic groups that are ahead of white men. In this supposedly white male patriarchy, where there's all this sexism and racism, which has become a job because that's the job of people who just have no talent

or don't have any work ethic. Because you know who's not sitting around talking about the straight white male patriarchy? Asian women and Nigerians. They're just crushing it. Ethnic groups are crushing it. Asians are taking over. They work harder.

They want it more. At one point, that was us. And then there just gets to a point where you get complacent. We can't all be tom brady you got to be an absolute psycho to stay on the top and want to play to your 40 something america's not the american empire was a coke bender it was eluding it was like a coke bender it was like a couple nights no sleep we raked in a lot of dough we fucking basically created

sweatshops all over the world so we could get shit cheap and put those factories in places where there was no labor laws so you can have a 12-year-old making your iPhone

or your shirt in Sri Lanka and in China and nobody cared because they were dancing around here posting on Twitter that they support

Black Lives or whatever and everyone feels good. It's an orgy. It's over. Just like in Rome. But the thing about Rome is there wasn't this fast technology. And so it went longer. Technology has shortened the length of this empire.

And it's a coke bender. And China is in charge. Just like when you go to any hospital or you go to any school, the top schools, it's all Chinese. It's all Asian. They crush it. Well, somebody wrote or brought up this social credit score that they have in China, I guess.

And like, will that make its way here? Yeah, I mean, yeah. It's going to be based on how many times you retweet white fragility, you know? So if you haven't read White Fragility, be prepared to be put in AOCs. Yeah, in Canada, they have the Human Rights Tribunal. Pretty soon there'll be one here. And if you don't know the book White Fragility, by a white woman, by the way, that book was written by a white woman. Why not?

Why the fuck not as the great david foster wallace said ironies abound as ironies do when cash and art do lunch so what's her name robin deangelis or some shit yeah white fragility so if you don't know that book if you don't know that inside and out yeah you're gonna get a social credit score it's gonna be zero and you're gonna be put into a program and AOC is going to come. And the best part about your day is that you'll be able to watch a video of her chastising you and just checking in on the people who need to be reeducated. Somebody wrote in, would you marry or crack open AOC? Absolutely. Either one. Are you kidding me? Yeah. I mean, I'm a cloud chaser.

If I married AOC, first of all, if I married AOC, I wouldn't just be hanging in the background like that lame she's with. If you're going to be with AOC, you're going to be cracking that open. You got to be in the background of her live videos, like a fucking backup dancer in a rap video. You know what I mean? She's Chuck Nice. Yeah.

But you can be Flavor Flav. Anytime she's saying we got to dismantle the patriarchy and we got to get rid of capitalism, you got to be in the background going, word, yeah, with a fucking clock around your neck and start your own Twitter account because you're going to break up at some point because she's a power hungry woman.

And so you're going to be left for, you know, when she starts dating JFK's nephew or whatever, I don't know, which I don't know which Kennedy's still alive, but she will be dating him at some point when she makes her run for the presidency and he will be her Hillary. Next thing you know, he's a senator in New York.

He's running because by that time, gender roles will be reversed and men will be enslaved in the kitchen, raising children, not allowed to work, just the way nature intended. Would you ever let your daughter date someone like Chris DiStefano? Abso-fucking-lutely no.

1,000% no. In fact, that's pretty much the only requirement I have. If I meet the kid and he's superficially glib and charming and doesn't look you in the eye for too long and is shuffling around all the time moving his body, I'm going to say, that kid's a sociopath. He's full of shit. Everything that comes out of his mouth is a lie.

He's out of here. I'd rather my daughter dated like a criminal. Chris DiStefano. Somebody's asking what happened with you and Bill Burr. If you date Chris DiStefano, you're going on a ride. You're going to need a seatbelt and you're going to, you don't want to eat

before you get on that ride because it's a fucking great adventure ride, babe. And when you go upside down, babe, babe, you may throw up, babe. There's going to be some highs, some lows,

some exhilarating points, some scary ones. But if you're into thrills, then there's no ride like the Chris DiStefano ride. I've been dating him secretly some exhilarating points, some scary ones. But if you're into thrills, then there's no ride like the Chris DiStefano ride. I've been dating him secretly for a couple years. And let me tell you something. No, of course I'd let him date Chris DiStefano.

Chris DiStefano's a great guy. I'm joking. Of course. So what happened with you and Bill Burr, somebody asked? It's no different you know i think bill bill does his best work alone and he was making some great points about me that he probably saw some things in me that you know he had you know and i think i made some decent points about like you know when when he was would get a little angrier sometimes i mean that's you know he, he was the greatest comic working at that time, you know, when he was kind of into that.

And he still is. So it's like, it's a lot of things at once. But like, also, I mean, who have you seen who hasn't clashed with Bill Burr on a podcast? He even clashes with Rogan on his podcast. So he's a stubbornly independent guy. He's a very moral guy. He's a very controlling guy in the way he wants to live his life and the way he perceives things. He likes to argue. He can be contrarian. It's very entertaining. And for podcasts, podcasts with other people is all about the improv yes and.

It's like wherever a person goes, you just go with it, whatever it is. And Bill stays here. So, you know, we kind of, you know. Me and him could start a podcast called Oil and Vinegar. Somebody wants to know what you think is coming to light now that visibly ill people aren't being kept off planes. This episode is just all questions and answers. This is a unique episode because we did one before, and I out of steam so we need you now no no what do you think that airlines are failing to keep people who are vomiting off the planes as they board like they're just letting

sick people on the plane i mean do they have fucking temperature taker i mean you know i walk in to get my eyebrows threaded you know they got a fucking temperature guy so don't you have someone just sitting there with a magic wand who at least makes us feel good by swiping that thing like it works? Instead of we sit down. I mean, yeah, there's got to be a way. I mean, why are we a third world country right now? There's got to be a way to make sure before someone gets on a plane, you know if they have corona or not. It's really simple. Take their fucking temperature, ask them questions or whatever. I don't know. You know, I mean, all of a sudden, every airline's like spirit.

I mean, what are we doing here? Actually, there should be one airline for corona patients. I mean, why do I have to sit here and solve the fucking country's problems? Okay, one airline, you give it to corona patients. So if you have corona, you get on the corona flight where everyone has corona. So I mean, it's like, what's the deal? It's so if you have corona you get on the corona flight where everyone has corona so i mean it's like what's the deal it's like when you have herpes you go to dating

website and meet other people with herpes mutually assured destruction you're in your group you're amongst your own you're in your peer you can sit there and tongue kiss in the bathroom on the corona flight if you both got corona nobody cares so you put all the people with corona on that flight right so they admit they have corona but they still need to travel you put all the people with Corona on that flight, right? So they admit they have Corona, but they still need to travel. You put them in a bubble at the airport. They go through that tunnel. They get on that fucking flight. And then you crash those planes.

So we have less people with Corona, and we solve the fucking pandemic like that. Am I the only one who's stinking out here? I mean, am I not a genius? Somebody just wrote Corona Air, which is a 10. Corona Air, yeah. Put them on that flight. Who would be on your team in Family Feud? I don't know what the meals genius? Somebody just wrote Corona Air, which is a 10. Corona Air, yeah. Put them on that flight. Who would be on your team in Family Feud? I know what the meals would be because I had Corona.

It would be a lot of Pedialyte, Gatorade, and chicken noodle soup with a lot of salt to keep your sodium levels up. Who would be on your team in Family Feud if you could pick? Team on Family Feud if I could pick. I think it's three members. Three members. Okay. feud if you could pick team or family feud if i could pick i think it's three members three members um okay it would be uh you guys don't know him but uh mike caplan the comedian because uh he's like on the spectrum and probably looks like he's good at jeopardy i'd probably pick like three autistic comedians because there's a you know there's a couple kids who like dan frigolette

who's uh shouldn't be a comic but is, good friend of mine, but he for some reason is great at Jeopardy. So he would know all those questions and shit on Family Feud. And then the third one I would just pick a piece so I could look at. So why don't we just go with Jessica Alba because guess what? It's America and now she's a billionaire

off selling baby food. Jessica Alba. She put her fucking name on it and now she's a billionaire because she she's a billionaire off selling baby food. Jessica Alba. She put her fucking name on it. And now she's a billionaire because she put her name on some fucking baby food. I mean. Somebody wanted to know what you think of. Is Jessica Alba a genius or are we fucking stupid? Well, we buy anything.

The Kardashians are billionaire. Why? Because their lipstick's better or it just says Kardashian and we just get marketed to. We are a complete advertising idiocracy. It is the United States of advertising. Everything is marketed and everything's horseshit. Whenever you see a fucking commercial for McDonald's, that's not even real food. Did you know that? They use a model and they spray like fucking methane on it to make it look delicious. And then you go get a McRib and it looks like someone cut up your aunt's hand and fucking

poured barbecue sauce on it. You're eating trash. They sell us trash. That's the biggest issue. But somebody wants to know what your take is on Barron. That's what I'm doing to you right now. This fucking podcast is trash. But it tastes good.

What do you think about Barron Trump? Is he getting puss? Barron Trump, dude. Yeah, I mean, that's a waste of hype, man. I mean, with a kid like that, you want to kind of prince and pauper him. You know, if you're a basketball fan, you want, I don't know if you know Mark Twain, you know, prince and a pauper, where, you know, it's two twins. One gets raised as a prince, one gets raised as a pauper.

What you want to do is you want to, when you see that kid's going to be 6'5", 6' like that, you want to get him out of that family as soon as possible. And just, you want to put him somewhere in the hood somewhere where the kid plays hoop. You know, and his nickname is Y Baron. White shot, it became Y Baron, but they say it fast. So it's White baron but they call him why baron and the kid plays some hoops so you can at least play fucking division three at nyu or something what a waste of height um he's the only kid between melania who by the way

is not a sex robot but when they make them i think they're gonna look just like that i mean so her and she's the only he's the only son of those two, right? I think so. Yeah, I think so. I don't know, dude. I mean, the genetic lottery, he's the only one who's tall.

The other kids are squeak. But what does he do with the rest of his life? I don't know, dude. He's going to be fine. He's the only one of them that doesn't have a fucked up mouth. You ever see Donnie Trump Jr.

and the other one? They look like, I mean, talking about like, they got the Danny DeVito fucking jeans from Donnie Trump. I mean, Barron's the only one who got the height., they got the Danny DeVito fucking jeans from Donnie Trump. I mean, Barron's the only one who got the height.

He's got the looks. He doesn't have a weird fucking mouth. You know? I don't know. Well, going back to people following their famous fathers. I mean, Tiffany's, you know, Tiffany fucking, who's her mom? I have no idea.

Whoopi Goldberg? Who's her mom? Who's Tiffany's mom? How many wives has he had? I know he was with, the kid loves fucking Russian mail order brides. He loves Eastern European poutangy. He loves those Kiwis.

What was her name? Yeah, I don't know. I don't remember her name. I forget her name. Zsa Zsa Gabor. Ivana. Ivana. Ivana Trump. That's right.

But going back to having a famous father, what does a Barron Trump do? I think, what's her name again? What's the one I just said? Ivana? Tiffany Trump. He might have fucked the housekeeper for that one. That might be a secret.

That's foul of me to say, but it is a comedy show. And somebody said, who's worse? The other daughter's a piece what's the other one who married the kushner kid oh oh ivanka ivanka's a piece yeah yeah she's a piece um so her and baron are the only ones who got that height the other two kids are squeaks somebody wrote who would be worse for your mental health aoc yeah or uh kim kardashian

Yeah. Or Kim Kardashian. It's a damn, that is a Sophie's choice. Jesus, that is the freaking, wow. Keep the economy open and have the healthcare system overwhelmed or have the healthcare system overwhelmed. Wow, that's a Sophie's choice. That's like a fucking COVID Sophie's choice.

It's either people die or the economy or the economy or people die. Oh fuck. AOC or Kardashian Kardashian. I'm just going to call that a COVID Sophie choice and say, maybe I can't choose. Cause I think they will both be equally tough on your mental health. I think Kardashian would be easier to deal with. You know what I'm saying? she's not gonna rant as much

You know Like about that stuff Like AOC She starts talking about that stuff You know Yeah but you're AOC's type Not I'm AOC's type

So but that You can't That's why we can't date Because she would rant to me I'd rant to her Nobody's listening Whereas Kardashian She'd be sitting there

And like being like, you know, today I donated to African children, and you're just, you're going like, you're a great person, you know? And then you just want... They're made to get fucked, the Kardashians. And then they have enhanced themselves to even look like you want to fuck them more. It's almost like their cartoon character.

Like, you ever watch cartoon porn where everything is accentuated? Like, they built themselves that way where they're plastically making themselves like... Like sex robots. Like sex robots, yeah. It's wild. It's fucking wild, dude.

Freedom has gotten so... We're so free now. That's what Hilaria Trump is really an indication of. He's like, hey, man, make up who you are. Reality's a suggestion. There's 160 genders genders pick one you want to switch genders we science can do that the ironic thing about climate change and gender changing is that like on the left they deny biology because of science science has gotten so good. It's gotten so good where you can really turn a boy into a girl, a girl into a boy for almost the whole way

that now people on the left go, sex isn't real. Gender is not real. And they're saying that because the science that made it so good, they're making an anti-science argument because of science. And it's the same thing with climate change. It's like people on the right go, hey, climate't real you know climate change has cycles and you're like how did you know that and they're like i heard it from scientists so you're like oh so you learn from people who did research that there's these previous climate cycles so you're using science to make it

unscientific that is where we are and it's a fun fucking era, baby, because everyone thinks they're an expert. Everyone thinks they have an answer and everyone's doing their fucking research on YouTube. I mean, giddy up. A lot of people writing and take your shirt off, Yanni. Take my shirt off. It's, um, you know what my, you know what my body looks like right now? You ever see like, you'll ever see like one of those people who like get their stomach stapled and then like they just it's just they're thin but everything you could like move their body around a lot because i'm doing all cardio now because like that my my in-laws just have a elliptical so it's like there's no weight training so i just look like a i look like i was rescued from a dachau and then they started feeding

me for a couple weeks so i look like i've put on a Dachau and then they started feeding me for a couple weeks. So I look like I've put on a little weight from being emaciated. And somebody else, last question this episode, how long until it's ironic or cool for hipsters to wear MAGA hats around Brooklyn? Yeah, that's going to be very funny. And I'd say, probably say, probably like right after the election. Yeah. It's going to be cool to wear them again. Yeah. I mean, they make things like that cool again. But you know what?

I think hipsters might be over, dude. I think they've all moved back. Yeah. They're out of here. I mean, hipsters, what are hipsters? Hipsters are the children of boomers who grew up going to Panera Bread, who didn't want to work at Panera Bread.

So they all had some dumb fucking dream and they came to the city to become a comedian, a writer, whatever. And then they started filling audiences of other comedians and they all started performing and audiencing for each other in this big art bubble because nobody wanted to work a real job because they didn't want to go to school and learn science like the Chinese and Indians are doing. So they came to New York and were like, I'm going to live my dream. Daddy paid their rent with his fucking, you know, his little computer job or teaching job at the university in whatever fucking town you come from. And he helped pay your rent. That inflated the market along with Chinese money. And they were sticking around. They made it so, you know, the new funny is not funny.

So they made, they bullied themselves in. Their friends were writing the articles. They made it so, you know, the new funny is not funny. So they made, they bullied themselves in their friends were writing the articles. They all lived in the same neighborhood. They performed together there. And what didn't happen was my plan to control the influx of hipsters because we got saturated with hipsters and that was a problem. So what I proposed was at a time is we create jobs by giving jobs to underprivileged kids in projects. And that job was they followed every hipster for like three or four years or five years. Give them five years, three, four, five. So we hire all these underprivileged kids to follow these hipsters. And they had three to five years to make their dream happen, right? And if their dream didn't happen, then these underprivileged kids who we hired

jumped and beat the shit out of these kids and scared them to go back to the suburb because the dream train is over. And that way you keep a nice dream train happening. So new hipsters come in, old ones leave. You didn't make it. You got fucking jumped and you got the shit beat out of you. You got scared and you moved back to Schaumburg, Illinois.

That was my idea. I fucking sent it to mayor de blasio and he said no but it's a good fucking plan how good a plan would that be i mean that's a 10 that's a 10 fucking plan it keeps the dream train moving you get three years i'm not giving you know you just don't have endless time to make it as a writer you got five years to make it as an actress writer. If you don't, one night walking home in Williamsburg, 40 fucking kids from the projects just beat the shit out of you and your friends and film it and put it on YouTube. I guarantee you, you're fucking moving

back to Idaho the next week. And you're holding a buzzer of Panera Bread with a microphone on the other end saying, table for Ford Thompson, it's ready. Any predictions about this year coming up? This year is going to be a microphone on the other end saying table for four Thompson. It's ready. Um, any predictions about this year coming up? Um, this year is going to be a continuation of last year until, until the summer, you know, it's like, we've had enough dude, but it's not going to be over. So the summer, um, here's the, here's the problem is the vaccine is here vaccine is here but um as you know health care workers

don't want to take it all the doctors are taking it but like all the nurses and emts and all them they're refusing to take it because they are on the internet so they're scared of the vaccine and i don't know what the big deal is let them not take it then they get corona i mean if they the people who want to take it it makes you immune to corona so let the people who want to take it take the only problem is they're sending these I mean, the people who want to take it, it makes you immune to corona. So let the people who want to take it take it. The only problem is they're sending these fucking doses to the hospitals and they have to stay in a freezer and then the people don't take them

and then you're wasting the doses. So this is America. We are a banana republic third world country at this part. We're wasting vaccine, precious vaccine doses. So they should have checked, asked these nurses first, been like, hey, you guys gonna take the vaccine? And if they said no, they should have checked, asked these nurses first, been like, hey, you guys going to take the vaccine? And if they said no, be like, you know what? Let's send this someplace else. Let's send this to all the doctors. They're only giving it to emergency room doctors and hospital doctors. There's a bunch of doctors that see patients every day. Why aren't

dentists getting it? You're fucking doing work with a guy's mouth open. Give it to the doctors. Why are doctors getting it and health workers not? Because there's a difference in education between a doctor and a healthcare worker. And as I've mentioned before, the fate of our nation is inextricably linked to our failing public school system. People are fucking stupid. And that's why they're so vulnerable to self-interested charlatans who are bullshitting them for their own gain and own profit. So if you don't want to take the vaccine, you're a fucking idiot. Just because you read some article about one person having a fucking allergic reaction.

Guess what? Corona's dangerous, brah. And you can kill other people with corona. It shut down the entire world. They're not going to lie to you. Nobody cares. Pfizer, Moderna, these people work, they're signed. And a lot of these people are Republicans, which is the irony, is that they love the free market.

Guess what, asshole? Guess who invented the fucking vaccine? Private industry. So you don't want to take it, so you're asking for more government intervention and more government oversight to review the vaccine to make sure it's safe. You fucking idiot. You can't have your cake and eat it too. So what is it? Is it free market or is it government? What is it? Or is it a combination of both that you employ,

which is what normal people should do, which is why I'm normal. I'm normal. But anyway, this is an emergency situation. Okay, the vaccine is 95% 95 efficacious it's a new technology rna go learn about it go read about it take the fucking vaccine dude doctors are taking i know doctors who are republican who are taking it take the vaccine man unless you've had corona like me then you know maybe this shit's dangerous i don't know i'm gonna wait um so yeah tell the people what the plan is for this podcast yeah and listen don't i don't know what i'm talking. I don't know. I'm going to wait. So, yeah, tell the people what the plan is for this podcast. Yeah, and listen, I don't

know what I'm talking about. I don't know what I'm talking about. So, look, every Sunday, this was a question-heavy episode, so whatever it's going to be, we have guests, you know, we're talking about current events. Yanni's going wild and giving you a long day, so

thank you for watching. Tune in every Sunday. Go to the YouTube page, Giannis Pappas Comedy, for clips, for episodes. Go subscribe. Tell friends. And I'll see you next Sunday.