Yannis Pappas Hour - What Have We Become

Episode Date: December 23, 2022

Los Angeles Lakers president Jennie Bus has a new, hot beau. Yanni goes thru Stamford’s harmful language guide. Elon Musk is struggling with being the jester & the king. And Donald Trump’s got... NFT’s for sale for x-mas because of course he does. Merry Christmas. Join for the weekly bonus episodehttps://www.patreon.com/yannilongdaysSee Yannis live Philly Dec 29-31Miami Jan 13-15West Nyack NY Jan 20-22San Diego Jan 26-28Chicago Feb 24-26Atlantic City March 3rdEmmaus Pa, March 4DC March 9-11Dallas March 16-18Springfield MO March 23-25Phoenix March March 30-4/1Tampa April 21-22San Fran May 4-6Providence May 12-13Mohegan Sun sometime google itWatch Yanni’s stand up special: https://youtu.be/ArlCFemEDvQJoin our highlights page for highlight clips of every episode: https://youtube.com/channel/UCfMy34qIYYy7XiRaHKO1ykwNew episodes every Friday night and new bonus every week on Tuesday at Patreon.com/yannilongdays Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Ho, ho, ho, Merry Christmas. Is that how Santa sounds? He's Scandinavian. I think he's got more of an accent. Ho, ho, ho, Marquis, mas. Guys, my dates. Come see me live. December 29th through the 31st, Philadelphia,
Starting point is 00:00:15 at the Philly Punchline. All tickets at yannispappascomedy.com. Miami Improv, January 13th through the 15th. West Nyack, New York. Levity Live, Palisades Mall. It's a great club, January 20th through the 15th. West Nyack, New York. Levity Live. Palisades Mall. It's a great club. January 20th through the 22nd.
Starting point is 00:00:29 San Diego, January 26th through the 28th. Chicago, Illinois, February 24th through the 26th. Atlantic City Comedy Club. After Jay Moore. You'll find out about that in a second. March 3rd. E-Mouse, Pennsylvania. The E-Meows Theater.
Starting point is 00:00:47 I can't still pronounce it. Emmaus. Emmaus. Emmaus, Pennsylvania. The Emmaus Theater, March 4th. Arlington Drafthouse, D.C. area. March 9th through the 11th. Dallas, Texas.
Starting point is 00:00:59 March 16th through the 18th. Springfield, Missouri. March 23rd through the 25th. Phoenix, Arizona. March 30th through the 1st. Tampa, April 21st through the 22nd, San Francisco, May 4th through the 26th, Comedy Connection, May 12th through the 13th, May 12th through the 13th, Providence, and Mohegan Sun Comics, some date. So Google it.
Starting point is 00:01:21 So Google it. Welcome everybody to the Giannis Pappas hour at the top of the hour in the middle of the hour at the bottom of the hour. It's the hour news programs love the hour. They go. It's the hour. We're at the top of the hour news at the top of the hour news 15 minutes into the hour. What about what about at the top of the hour. News at the top of the hour. News 15 minutes into the hour. What about
Starting point is 00:01:46 the top of the half hour? What about 15 minute intervals? Why have they not updated it for our millennial and Gen X conditioned attention spans? It is news by the second. At the top of the second. This is how news should go right now.
Starting point is 00:02:03 You remember that guy who used to do this and talk like real quick? Welcome to Raceway, news should go right now. You remember that guy who used to do this and talk like real quick? Welcome to raceway, raceway, raceway. You remember that guy? That should be news. What happened is Jay Moore is engaged to Janie Buss. My brain can't work that fast. Elon Musk is at it.
Starting point is 00:02:18 Democrats and Republicans are trying to get each other. It's a game of tag between Democrats and Republicans and they're trying to get each other. You're it game of tag between Democrats and Republicans, and they're trying to get each other. You're it. Who's it? It's a new day. Jay Moore is now engaged to Jeannie Buss. That is news at the top of the hour.
Starting point is 00:02:33 I think that's the biggest story in the country right now. Jay Moore has blown up like a balloon. I think his diet consists of helium and stolen jokes from Rick Shapiro that he tried to get on SNL. We got one more story for you. Genie bust. Doesn't he have a podcast called More Stories or something like that? Anyway, the kid can do a Christopher Walken impersonation.
Starting point is 00:02:56 Who the fuck can't? That's how you know impersonations are kind of like, okay, I get it. I just got emailed by a writer at Howard Stern asking me if I do any impersonations, and I kind of want to reply because he's doing some impersonation game show, and I just want to go like, I can do impersonations. Look at the Adam Carolla I just did and the Obama. I just don't care enough to learn how to do it. What's the big deal?
Starting point is 00:03:21 What is this, 1997? Who cares about an impersonation just let everybody imitate everyone else who's doing jay moore because what happens is one person cracks the code and then everyone just does it i feel like everyone's just doing dana whatever dana carvey came up with and impersonated and then they're just doing dana carvey doing that guy so i mean check out jay moore's awesome comedy where he does a Christopher Walken impersonation uniquely a Christopher Walken impersonation
Starting point is 00:03:49 but right now I'm impressed by his new impersonation which is a suitable suitor for this fucking rich broad GD bus talk about coming out of left field talk about someone I would never think I would hear from in the news again
Starting point is 00:04:07 after Jerry Maguire faded from the public consciousness. It's Jay Moore. And I'm not talking about Jay Moore playing bananas in Hasbrook Heights straight after a weekend by Ned, otherwise known as Carlos Mencia. I'm talking about Jay Moore moving into Jeannie Buss' $500 million mansion and sitting in her office like this, probably just throwing a ball against the wall while she tries to re-sign LeBron James for another 20 years
Starting point is 00:04:39 because who knows what kind of fucking steroid-adrenochrome mix that L.A. goddamn establishment has that fucking science robot on. He's got no father. He was made in a Petri dish. But welcome. What a success for Jay Moore. This is like the comeback story of the year. Genie, boss, here's the deal.
Starting point is 00:05:04 I think Phil Jackson had a big penis. Phil Jackson's 6'7", tenacious defender, and as a coach, multiple-time, multiple, multiple-time championship winner. It didn't hurt that he had three of the most dominant players of all time on his team. But still, he used Zen and he won. And now it looks like Jay Moore is following. That is a real downgrade. That is a real downgrade from Phil Jackson to Jay Moore? I mean, Jesus Christ. That's like if Jackie Onassis, after JFK died,
Starting point is 00:05:44 just started dating Neil Brennan. We got a lot going on. Elon Musk is supposedly stepping down from Twitter because he did a poll where he asked people, should I step down as the CEO of Twitter? And I think he unexpectedly lost that poll. But I don't know if the mail-in ballots have been counted yet. I also don't know if that's a reliable source a Twitter poll. I mean I put up a Twitter poll and one of the options was
Starting point is 00:06:15 me so horny and the other one was love you long time and love you long time won. So sometimes people just click the funniest thing. So people might have just did this as a troll. Who knows? But it is Twitter. I mean, maybe the CEO of Twitter should be elected every four years by Twitter poll.
Starting point is 00:06:32 Meta should become the legislative branch where we elect influencers to work on legislation. And then TikTok will be the judiciary. Why the hell not? The three branches of social media. Let's make it happen. Zelinsky's in D.C. doing a fundraiser tour. You can't get just handed $60 billion or whatever's going without showing a little face at the party, which is what he did. Stanford came out with a list of harmful language, a guide for harmful language.
Starting point is 00:07:05 Of course they did. That's all I have to say about that. Of course Stanford did. It's good to know the Ivy League is hard at work getting our students prepared for the real world. There's thousands and thousands and thousands of migrants waiting to seek asylum at the border. Still, they're
Starting point is 00:07:21 just hanging out, waiting. I don't know what they're waiting for, but maybe it'll happen for them. And we have some, we will talk about a few comments that were left on last episode where people pointed out some inconsistencies in my news reporting.
Starting point is 00:07:39 So that's a new thing I want to do is when someone makes a point and points out when I was wrong, we want to educate, edify, illuminate the point to our other viewers so they then can move forward in life knowing some of the knowledge
Starting point is 00:07:53 that this person has bestowed on to me. I would hate to send you out into the world being educated by this podcast. I would love to... What do you call this? An editorial... What do they do do you call this? An editorial, what do they do that when they do that? An editorial retraction.
Starting point is 00:08:09 I don't know if that's the official word for it, but it sounds good enough for me. Sounds good enough for me is really the motto we live by here. Sounds good enough for me. Merry Christmas.
Starting point is 00:08:21 And to my Jews, na-na-na-na-na-na, your holiday sucks. Have fun in Miami, pretending like you don't care, while we celebrate Al-Masata. This is the Yanis Papas Hour, and let's
Starting point is 00:08:36 get into what's the dolly, yes? Down as poppers. I don't know. I just got so distracted by Jay Moore dating Jeannie Buss. I didn't really... Everything seems kind of insignificant. I mean, the guy's neck is completely gone. And Jeannie Buss is somewhat of a piece for a 50-year-old woman, I would say, probably. 61-year-old woman.
Starting point is 00:09:28 She looks really good. And Jay Moore is ageless in the sense that, you know, you can't really even say he looks human at this point. He looks like a blow-up doll. He looks like a blow-up doll. I mean, look at Jay Moore, dog. Yeah, he's bloated. Yeah. And I love that his male pattern baldness
Starting point is 00:09:49 just happened in the front of his head. He looks like he's wearing his hair backwards. He looks like if you painted his eyes, nose, and mouth onto his neck, it would look more like a human face than the other way. It looks like his face is painted onto the back of his head. His hair is the other way. He's going to be able to fix all that now. I mean, what a scoop for Jay Moore,
Starting point is 00:10:20 who I assume has got to be in his early 50s, right? Early 50s. The only scoops he's been doing is at Ben & Jerry's. That's about it, man. I don't know where he's been working. I don't know what he's been doing. But you know when an article refers to you being known from Saturday Night Live in the 90s? He did star in one movie, I believe, with Jennifer Aniston.
Starting point is 00:10:44 He had a shot. I. He had a shot. I think he had a shot. Well, Botox. He had a few shots. What are you saying? Well, yeah, the big one, you know, Jerry Maguire. Well, that was the big one, but then he starred. I mean, that's when he was, like, playing second fiddle to Tom Cruise.
Starting point is 00:11:01 But then he starred in a movie, I believe, with Jennifer Aniston. Correct me if I'm wrong. I think after Jerry Maguire, he got his shot. He got his shot to star opposite the Greek princess herself, Jennifer Aniston. How good was he at stand-up, though? Because I heard
Starting point is 00:11:17 he was running shit in New York in the late 90s. He does a Christopher Walken impersonation. That I know. And I know he can do an Irish bartender that was written by Rick Shapiro. That's about all I know about Jay Moore. Never met him. Don't know him.
Starting point is 00:11:36 But he's got quite an extensive IMDb, though. He's been in a lot of movies. And he got a Teen Choice Award nomination for Cherry Falls in 1999. No, for Go, the movie Go. For Go. Oh, yeah, I remember Go, too. He had a moment. He had a moment, Jay Moore.
Starting point is 00:11:58 He had a moment. But this is definitely his biggest role. Oh, for sure. Pretending that he really loves Jeannie Buss. Break out the Oscar. Break out the oscar for him what a score i mean wow so that's big that's a really uh big catch that's what that's when you go fishing and your rod is just like whoa whoa whoa and that's not you, you know, it's not Jeannie Bush. She's not a heavy woman. But, you know, her bank account is very heavy.
Starting point is 00:12:30 I think she's like in charge of the Lakers. Am I right? Yeah, she runs the Lakers. She runs the Lakers. That's going to be a weird day. Honey, I'm going to work. I'm going to work. I'm going to work.
Starting point is 00:12:43 I'm going to crypto.com arena. I'm going to work.'m going what is i'm going to crypto.com arena i'm going to work and he's going okay and he's just in his socks and flip-flops eating cereal going like i'm podcasting at about two so if you need anything how long do you think this lasts i don't know if bet mgGM has put it up yet, but I say this would be a fun one to bet on. And I think the bet should be like, you know, they should just go, it's a given it's going to be a year.
Starting point is 00:13:15 It's a given. It's a given it will be one year. This one's an easy prediction. Let's make a prediction now. Going into the new year, Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, everybody. Happy Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Let's make a prediction now. Going into the new year. Merry Christmas. Happy holidays, everybody.
Starting point is 00:13:25 Happy Hanukkah. Kwanzaa. Whatever you want to do to try to compete with the big dog, Santa Claus. Santa Claus is number one. We're going to make the prediction right now. I'm going this romance lasts for three months. Whoa.
Starting point is 00:13:44 Three months. You're going way under. Yeah. She hasn't flashed her engagement ring on Instagram just yet. I think I might have a suspicion why. Because it's from Kay's Jeweler? So she didn't want to open a box that said Kay's on it? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:14:05 Ooh, wait, there we go. Look at that. Look at Jay Leno. I called him Jay Leno. Jay Moore. And this is from Jeannie Buss' Instagram. I was cast as the hot blonde in this video. Catch Jay Moore at Atlantic City Comedy Club. Nah, son.
Starting point is 00:14:23 I mean, whoa. You know what's funny? Atlantic City Comedy Club is Nah, son. I mean, whoa. You know what's funny? Atlantic City Comedy Club is where I'm going to be, I think, on March 3rd. That is not a joke. I believe it's March 3rd. I'll be there, and then I'll be in E-Meow-E-Ow's, Pennsylvania, March 4th.
Starting point is 00:14:42 So catch Mr. Bus to be at Atlantic City. That's a really... Dog. Dog. Jeannie, I don't know what's going on. I don't know what's going on in your life. When did her and Phil Jackson break up? When did legend Phil Jackson and Jeannie Boss break up?
Starting point is 00:15:02 Jackson and Jeannie bus break up. It might be when she had to like change the first, uh, like diaper. He's not a young man. You know, she, you know, no ladies,
Starting point is 00:15:16 no lady. Who's a career woman's going to stick around for that shit. If you're dating a younger woman and she's as powerful as Jeannie bus, you just got to know that when the first diaper comes out, she's the first time you got to get on Amazon and order your first pair of huggies. Uh, you know,
Starting point is 00:15:33 it's over. She's just going, I didn't sign up for this. I'm a career woman. I don't even want to change baby's diapers, let alone my, my older boyfriend or whatever. She was engaged also to Phil Jackson for four years after dating.
Starting point is 00:15:49 So they've been done since 2016. They've been done for a long time. They were together for a long time. Yeah, they were together for 17 years. They were together, yeah. How old is he? He's old, man. He's got to be, you know, if you think about it.
Starting point is 00:16:07 Like 77? Michael Jordan is 60. So he's got to be in his 70s. Yeah, he's 77. And Jeannie Buss is what, 60? 61. 61. So there's a 16-year age difference.
Starting point is 00:16:19 So his first diapers probably came out around 2016. That's when you throw the first one on. He was going into diapers. She was coming out of them. That's the first time you get a little leakage. You're just sitting on the couch and you get up and there's just like, wait a second, I wasn't eating chocolate ice cream. Oh, I shit on the couch.
Starting point is 00:16:38 I'm leaking. That's when the asshole starts to loosen up and you just start to leak. And that's going to change things for a woman like Jeannie Buss. That's going to change things. Yeah, she wasn't in her 60s yet. This is the challenge that career women face. It's like, are you really happy? Like, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:16:58 I watched that documentary about the Buss family, right? And I think there's a bunch of siblings that he tried to like leave stuff to i think she's the most one of the most competent of them right one of them's got a ponytail i mean you know i love it when like there's just like a great man like jerry buss was like a great man the whole team loved him him and magic were close he built this whole thing he built the lakers he built the brand and then there's just the all these kids and he wants to he wants them all to succeed none of them are ever going to outshine him so they all just go work for him and uh he's got to make the decision of which one of them is
Starting point is 00:17:43 the least spoiled that's basically what it comes down to which one of them is the least spoiled. That's basically what it comes down to. Which one of these people is the least spoiled? You got Jim Buss. I think he's the one who made a few bad decisions. He's a part owner. Oh, yeah. An executive vice president. She's the president.
Starting point is 00:17:57 She's the president. So she's hands-on. Yeah. Yeah, she's the one. She's the one, like, during practice, they had the click-clack of high heels. The guys get on their best behavior. You know?
Starting point is 00:18:12 That's what she's, you hear those click-clack. You hear the click-clack coming? Oh, yeah. And she's like, hi, guys. Hi, boys. How's it going? What's up, Jeannie? You know, she goes to brunch with LeBron.
Starting point is 00:18:29 And now Jay Moore, who will be at the atlantic city comedy club i can't believe she promoted his date on her instagram that's bold i wouldn't expect that i tell you what i don't even think that's gonna help his numbers i don't think it'll help his numbers probably not yeah do you think he asked i mean is that not the strangest instagram post he probably did ask but instagram probably replied to GD, like, I think someone hacked your account. Yeah, I mean, here's the situation. He must have asked, do you mind promoting the winter solstice? The start of winter in the northern hemisphere occurs today at 448.
Starting point is 00:19:03 You telling me it hasn't been winter yet? What app shows weird? Some app I got some star app that's weird i thought it's winter dog i mean she's with jay moore promoting his dates in new jersey and he's got like an 11 year old son too i mean she she that would be like Mark Cuban dating Jesse May Peluso and going, you can catch Jesse May Peluso. Catch Jesse May Peluso this weekend in Jacksonville at the Comedy Zone in the Ramada Inn. That could totally happen. I could see that happening tomorrow.
Starting point is 00:19:46 That's more likely. Yeah, but it happens with a woman. Like, a woman could do that. A man can't, like, do that. A man can't sneak in and get his dates promoted by a woman. Usually it's the guy that's pussy whipped, right? It's the guy with the money who's pussy whipped, but she's like dick whipped.
Starting point is 00:20:07 In order to promote without one thought of this is embarrassing, not one thought like, hey, me putting in the description, make sure to catch Jay Moore at Emilio Savone's Atlantic City Comedy Club. And I'm sorry, Emilio, if you're watching this. I know I'm playing the club. But I'm just saying, you know? Yeah, he's got to be laying it down. I never thought Jeannie Buss would be one Kevin Bacon degree away
Starting point is 00:20:35 from Atlantic City Comedy Club. I never thought Jeannie Buss would be involved with anyone who physically was inside of Atlantic Cityantic city comedy club this is definitely her first comic that's what it is yeah she she's new to the game she's new to the game because he was like how do you think that happened i think it was like this wait a second was that the engagement photo where she also said that i hope not put it back yeah yeah so it goes i was cast as the hot blonde so they put this up because she's showing off the engagement ring, which is a little underwhelming.
Starting point is 00:21:09 I'm not a gay guy or a woman, but I can tell you it's not sparkling, okay? I mean, if that thing was in a supermarket and I had to throw a quarter into the machine to retrieve it, I wouldn't be surprised. Yeah, it does look like he won it from Dave and Buster's. Yeah, it definitely looks like he won it from Dave and Buster's. Yeah, it definitely looks like that could have been like, he said, hey, it definitely looks
Starting point is 00:21:30 like it was paid for with Manscaped ads. Yeah, it could be a prop from the Lord of the Rings. I think it was paid for by a Keeps ad, which Jay Moore is using and it's not working.
Starting point is 00:21:48 For Jay Moore, it's it's not working for Jay Moore it's like kind of keeps I'm just having fun with you Jay I don't know you but I'd be honest I haven't heard good things anyhow so this looks like it's the it's the engagement photo and in the engagement photo showing off her ring scroll down i because i can't believe my eyes i was cast as the hot blonde in this video so it's her attempted humor um you know so i could see why they get along and then the next sentence is, catch Jay Moore at Atlantic City Comedy Club this weekend on Friday, 11.12 at 8 p.m. and Saturday, 11.13 at 7 p.m. Get your tickets with the link in our bio.
Starting point is 00:22:41 Atlantic City Comedy Club, exclamation point, exclamation point. What has happened to us what is going on has everyone lost their mind she is the fucking president of the los angeles lakers one of the most esteemed sports organizations on the globe you got the yankees you got the lakers you got real madrid you got i don't know that much about international soccer so i won't mention another one okay and you got the female usa soccer team maybe you got the fucking phoenix storm or whoever won the wba championship there's a couple of very special sports organizations that hold a special place in the heart of sports fans, the Lakers being one of them, okay?
Starting point is 00:23:36 Dare I say, Jeannie Buss, there was a time that if this happened and you fell in love with someone so beneath you in society that you fucking hit it. You hit it. You hit it. It was a secret. You kept it secret from your family. This is worse than Hunter Biden doing crack cocaine. I have never seen a royal name more besmirched.
Starting point is 00:24:05 This is worse than Harry fucking Prince Harry dating a C-level actress born in fucking Los Angeles. Harry married someone who had to audition for a role. You know what that must have felt like for Queen Elizabeth? Knowing that her grandson married someone who walked into a room and had to slate her name?
Starting point is 00:24:35 Meghan Markle, I'll be reading for the part of hot mixed girl behind desk. Married the prince. The beloved prince of the British Empire. This is some crazy shit.
Starting point is 00:24:54 And I don't think that's as embarrassing. His mother, Princess Diana, married a multimillionaire, was having an affair with some billionaire uh a rab bunny guy yeah yeah right so uh they didn't like that and so they probably killed her um so to them that was a big besmirch the name i was a billionaire but at least the guy was a billionaire right playing yuck yucks yeah i mean is mean... Is she just going to keep promoting his calendar? Probably. Is she going to go, great game tonight?
Starting point is 00:25:30 Is she going to just post her and LeBron? Her and LeBron at Ocean Prime. Tim Dillon in the background with his sunglasses on during the day. Right? Right in the background. Just fucking... Pokeball monster. In the background.
Starting point is 00:25:43 You're like, is that Tim Dillon? He's wearing some Balenciaga fucking jacket with Fendi glasses just going, with a pokeball. And then she's sitting there with LeBron and it's a photo and she goes, me, me with the goat. Also, by the way,
Starting point is 00:26:02 my fiance Jay Moore will be at the stand on New Year's Eve. Get your tickets with promo code PIZZA PIZZA. Get your promo code FORGOTTABALLIT. She plugged both shows. She plugged both shows.
Starting point is 00:26:23 And not once did she think, she knows nothing about the business. She has no idea that this means that he's struggling to move tickets on either night, on the weeknight and strong night. The weeknight not meaning the weeknight. I'm talking about the weaker of the two nights.
Starting point is 00:26:37 Thursday's a weaker night. Friday's a weaker night than Saturday. Trust me, I know. I'm on that level. I'm on that level where I go and I go, Thursday's just a warm-up. You know? I'm at a ticket sale level
Starting point is 00:26:49 where it's a crescendo of ticket sales. It goes Thursday, Friday, and then Saturday. You're like, okay, it's like a god. But appreciate everyone who came out in Charlotte. I apologize for what happened. My wife had the flu. She's pregnant, so she had to go to the hospital the flu. She's pregnant. So she had to go to the hospital.
Starting point is 00:27:07 Her whole family's sick. I had to come home, take care of the baby, take care of my wife. So I had to leave Charlotte early. We did one show on Thursday. It was incredible. An incredible, incredible club. Really, I love the renovation.
Starting point is 00:27:19 It's one of the nicer clubs I've seen in the country as far as the setup and the low ceiling. It just felt really great. But shout out to Court and Joe Bartnick and, of course, Jared Harvin, who I think filled in the rest of the shows because, God forbid, they club-made an announcement and lost the ticket sales. Shows were good.
Starting point is 00:27:46 The rest of the shows were good. It was great, yeah. Yeah. So, but, you know, the kids are moving tickets, and I appreciate everybody who came out, you know, and I will be back. And, you know, Charlotte, comedy's on, you know. Your tickets look good, so the deal's going to be different.
Starting point is 00:28:03 Today's prices are not yesterday's prices. So, and if you don't want to do it, I'll find myself a little theater that accommodates. So, Charlotte's a nice town, though. You weren't there for none of the shows. I wasn't there for none of them. You're talking all this shit. You know, but I do have spies in there. Let me know.
Starting point is 00:28:24 I do get DMs. I know we moved some tickies. We did. We moved some tickies. It looked like a Trump rally. It depends on who you ask how many tickets were there. Speaking of Donald Trump, his tax, it's hard to get off this Jay Moore story
Starting point is 00:28:39 because it's a fun one. By the way, catch Jay Moore at Atlantic City Comedy Club and then catch me there. My wife does not run the operations of a major sports organization. But you can catch me at, in Atlantic City, I think it's March 3rd. March 3rd,
Starting point is 00:29:00 yeah. March 3rd at Atlantic City Comedy Club for one night, one show, I believe. So, you know, maybe I can move up to Jay Moore's level where I'm doing Friday and Saturday. Jay Moore, congratulations. And I'm just joking.
Starting point is 00:29:13 I don't know anything about you. You could be a great guy. He is a great guy. He does look like an Asperger-ridden bodyguard. Yeah, I mean, he looks a little bloated. He looks like a guy who's just it's his first week in AA going, I can't do this anymore. But hats off to you and Mrs. Buss.
Starting point is 00:29:31 I give you three months. What do you give it? I think it's at a high percentage that they last. For how long? For whatever his BMI is. That would be 230 days. Jesse, what do you think? As long as she'll have him, he's going to hang on for dear life.
Starting point is 00:29:48 Yeah, you're not going to read an article. Well, you never know. She could be so whipped. He could leave her. I don't know, but they're engaged. Do you think there's a prenup? I think there's a prenup at play. There's a big prenup.
Starting point is 00:30:02 Yeah, I think in order to play ball, her lawyers are going look her lawyers are going listen okay you guys are in love whatever um he's the lawyer probably said look your father i would have this you know your father would have never condoned this i've been with the family for a long time he probably just echoed what i said like there was a time where if something like this happened, you did the respectable thing and kept it quiet. We don't need you going from the Lakers game and your $40 million palace
Starting point is 00:30:32 to the back of the room at Atlantic City Comedy Club eating popcorn, watching your fiance do a Christopher Walken impersonation. But that being said, that being said, in order for us to play ball, we're going to have to sign a pretty strict, a pretty strict, and when I mean strict, I'm talking Georgetown clamps defense.
Starting point is 00:30:53 I'm talking Greg Anthony on the ball, full court. That's a 90s reference. Kid was picked up full court. Tight defense, strict. Prenup. full court um tight defense strict prenup and the prenup goes jay moore will not get an allowance i don't care not only we not get the inheritance the allowance that you're asking for will not happen okay you will not you will not make up what he doesn't get in his bonus structured deal from Atlantic City Comedy Club. You will not fill that in. It's not going to happen.
Starting point is 00:31:32 So you're saying as long as, yeah, you're not going to read the news, because Jay Moore has decided to call it off with Jeannie Buss. But maybe this is true love. Maybe that's what's happening now is I'm being a cynic. Maybe I'm being a cynic because that's my job, right? My job is to hunt down bullshit and have fun with it. My job is to see bullshit on the floor, pick it up with my hands, sniff it, and go, yup.
Starting point is 00:31:57 But maybe I'm a cynic. Maybe Prince Harry and Meghan Markle are in love. Maybe Jay Moore and Jeannie Buss are in love. Maybe it's me. Maybe it's me. Maybe I don't believe in love. But the problem with love is it's gross. It's gross and it's beneath the Buss family name.
Starting point is 00:32:26 She's going to learn a thing or two, right? She's not going to be plugging these dates for long. Well, here's the thing with love, right? Or these types of relationships that I believe it's exciting. I believe something happened. Timing is everything, right? So she may be having a little bit of a bipolar. She may be going through menopause, right?
Starting point is 00:32:44 What is she, 61? Menopause is she's her brain chemistry's all over the place he came over and he went what's in a name you know he just did maybe uh christopher walking here we're going there and she was like i remember christopher walking right because she's worked so hard she doesn't have time to be on instagram and see the other 300 people do Christopher Walken. So she got impressed. She got happy. They had sex. It was incredible.
Starting point is 00:33:11 She went to see him at the Laugh Factory or whatever. And she was like, this is fucking exciting, okay? Like I've always been buttoned up, kind of part of the bus family. This is my break free. This is my, you know, you watch the notebook. This is of part of the bus family. This is my break free. This is my, you know, you watch the notebook.
Starting point is 00:33:26 This is other side of the track shit. You know, rich girls love this shit. You know, she went to his house. He had fucking roommates. And she was like,
Starting point is 00:33:35 I've never experienced it. This is something she's never experienced. And when a girl is at the end of like her fuckability and that mortality starts to sneak
Starting point is 00:33:45 down. We all start to think about what we didn't do, what we didn't experience. You know, that's where she's at. He's just going like, I mean, he's going courtside tickets.
Starting point is 00:34:02 He's gone fucking ocean prime. He's going, it's the only restaurant i know that's good this is the one tim's taking me to no boo yeah he's going no boo that's another one tim's taking me to everyone's got to have a fucking successful gay friend with good taste that just fucking drags you to the spot and says here's what to order and he's always right I'm glad not just a gay successful guy but a portly gay successful guy because then you know
Starting point is 00:34:30 he has a passion for cuisine so you know what's in it for him you know and then what happens is it just Jay's gonna give himself away. There's gonna be a moment of clarity for her
Starting point is 00:34:46 where the chemicals are just, are balanced back out and he's just gonna be calling her with what used to be a routine call when she was under that spell. Because we've all been in these types of relationships where the chemicals are flying, you know, you're having sex a few times a day, you're connecting on some fucking unrealistic bullshit.
Starting point is 00:35:05 And then that moment of clarity happens where she's in the middle of a big deal. She's trying to get Rudy Gobert. They need a shot blocker, right? ADs hurt again. They need a shot blocker. Rudy Gobert is not working out wherever he got traded to.
Starting point is 00:35:20 I lost track and she's trying to score him. And there's a text that comes in again with a smiley face saying, can I get two more extra tickets to my usual front court seat for Golden State, LA tonight? And is it okay again if I bring my opener into the locker room to meet LeBron, like I did last time with my entire extended family for the holidays. And she goes, this has to stop. It wakes her up.
Starting point is 00:35:59 It goes, oh, what am I doing? And then the relationship after this is the son of the greek guy who owns the san diego chargers and that's how it goes yeah that's how this goes yeah okay that's how this goes i'm glad he gets to experience it though yeah because if it wasn't him it would have been pete davidson yeah yeah yeah it still may be yeah so donald trump uh he might have just set the stage for all this kind of you know is it look what have we become kind of stuff what have we become you know you look at kanya you go what have we become you look at elon you go what have we become? You look at Elon, you go, what have we become?
Starting point is 00:36:45 Yeah. You look at Jeannie Buss, you go, what have we become? You know, you turn on the news, you go, what have we become? You know, you go to everyone's Twitter, you go, what have we become? Are we all just doing this for our social media credit score, our unofficial social media credit score, we're just creating drama. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:37:12 Donald Trump might have set this whole thing in motion because he is the king of wild. He's the ultimate reality TV show star. It's really, The Apprentice was top. It was like his show was such a hit, and he's such a character, and he's so funny, and he's so entertaining. And he released his NFTs for Christmas, which was a wet eye laugh for me alone in the hotel room. Right before I got to call that my wife was really sick, I was talking about going through Dante's Circle of Hell after coming from heaven because I was dying laughing at these NFTs.
Starting point is 00:37:53 Not only are the NFTs hilarious, but someone made a quick meme. Internet is undefeated. Someone made a quick meme of Donald Trump's actual body looking at that one. And it just made me laugh so hard. Because obviously his physique is the opposite of what a superhero's physique was. You know, when Dean Cain played Superman, before he was an outspoken Republican, Dean Cain's on that list.
Starting point is 00:38:24 It's such a strange list of outspoken Republicans in Hollywood. Dean Cain, James Woods, Charles from Charles in Charge, and Charlton Heston. And Chris Pratt. And Chris Pratt? Is Chris Pratt? Yeah. He's outspoken? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:38:41 No. Chris Pratt goes the other way. No, Chris Pratt's Republican, dog. Is he? Yes. A lot of people don't like him for it Chris Pratt's Republican, dog. Is he? Yes. A lot of people don't like him for it. But he's so likable. It's funny.
Starting point is 00:38:48 Let's make sure of that. Are you sure about that? Chris Pratt, I'm telling you. Chris Pratt, Republican. No. No. He is. No. he is no no he's not Republican
Starting point is 00:39:10 Chris Pratt's not Republican I'm telling you dog no it would have been like the first thing that came up they would have been dude you know how desperate the Republicans are for an A-lister I mean the Democrats have the entire A-list the Republicans are for an A-lister. I mean, the Democrats have the entire A-list.
Starting point is 00:39:27 The Republicans have their biggest one. It's Charlton Heston. Am I wrong? And Charlton Heston. He's gone, though. He's dead. He's dead. Clint Eastwood is who I meant.
Starting point is 00:39:36 I was thinking old white guys, big stars. Clint Eastwood. He's still alive, right? Barely. Barely, yeah. I mean, he's barely. He's on the runway, for sure. He's on the runway, for sure.
Starting point is 00:39:47 He's on the runway, and there's traffic up ahead, but they're sixth in line to take off. So he did endorse a Republican for mayor of Los Angeles, Chris Pratt. I know he was a heavy Trump supporter, too, but I thought he was Republican. You're asking for us to Google too many things that would take up half the episode. Jesse, it takes a long time, one key at a time. I'll get you some ice for your fingers google too many things it would take up half the episode Jesse it takes a long time
Starting point is 00:40:06 one key at a time I'll get you some ice for your fingers later but if it is Chris Pat I think we might have heard a lot more but tell us in the comments tell us in the comments like Victory XR told us if you were wondering from last episode and I'll be doing this every episode
Starting point is 00:40:22 if someone corrects us an editorial retraction, if you will. LLCs don't do stocks, he says. S-Corps and C-Corps do. I don't know what that means because in the last episode, I made a joke about a Chinese LLC buying your house. So that was the only time I think I brought up an LLC. But if you want to believe
Starting point is 00:40:45 Victory XR, Google it, and maybe when it comes to buying stocks, only S-Corps and C-Corps can buy stocks and LLCs can't. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:40:56 I don't know. Trust that person over there. I don't know. That was cool, Jay. I don't know. Also, multiple people commented on the episode that Elon Musk's plain info is public information.
Starting point is 00:41:09 Because I said, hey, it's bad that you're tracking him. It's like stalking, kind of. They have a point, right? So the guy who made the Twitter account, he's just taking public information and putting it up there. So I don't know. That's a murky one. That's a murky one. That's a murky one.
Starting point is 00:41:27 On his private plane? It's public information? Yeah, I think all planes are public information. The FAA made that a thing. So all planes that take off, you can find out where they are or whatever. And so he ended up banning that kid, right? We joked about it last episode.
Starting point is 00:41:44 But the truth is, he's not doing anything that anyone else couldn't do. It's out there. So, I don't know. I still feel weird about a guy who's got an account who's tracking it. But I get what these people are saying. Yeah. So, the whereabouts of Elon Musk's private jet are based on public data. That Musk band from Twitter this week,
Starting point is 00:42:12 flight data for aircraft from Musk's shiny multimillion-dollar Gulfstream G640 jet to commercial planes. Everything is public. It's just a weird thing to do. It's just a weird thing to do. It's just a weird thing to do. Well, the kid's looking for a payout. He's sticking to the 50K now. He wants 50K.
Starting point is 00:42:30 He wants 50K, but then somebody else will just do it. Then somebody else will track it. Yeah. So I don't know. That's an interesting thing. My opinion is I think you shouldn't be able to track a private plane like that. That's weird.
Starting point is 00:42:43 For a public figure like that, I think that's't be able to track a private plane like that. That's weird for a public figure like that. I think that's a security risk. You know, obviously it's different from traffic tracking an American Airlines plane with just regular nobodies on it. But I don't know. So I still hold strong to my sentiment that I think it shouldn't be, but apparently it is. So I stand corrected.
Starting point is 00:43:10 The kid's technically not doing anything illegal or wrong. It's the point. It says here he's going an extra mile. So see here, it says, um, he actually asked to put together separate pieces of information to, to create the tracking account.
Starting point is 00:43:26 So it's not like anyone could just tap into this feed. You have to put the legwork in. He's got some formula to do this. Right. So there you go. The tracking capabilities are possible thanks to a technology called Automatic Dependent Surveillance Broadcast. It's like global positioning system technology or GPS,
Starting point is 00:43:44 but on steroids. So he's putting it together. Right, because sometimes it goes outside of radar. Aircraft traveling outside of radar view were exposed to long stretches where no one knew where they are. The issue reached a chilling turning point in 2014 when Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 disappeared from radar.
Starting point is 00:44:05 Right. But ADB technology is now mandated by the federal AAA on all aircraft, so you can track them everywhere. But he's going the extra mile, obviously. Yeah, like you said, probably looking for a pet. I think it's, like, again, not to repeat myself, but I think it's sketch. Well, I'll tell you what.
Starting point is 00:44:25 You keep on putting all these secrets out on these Twitter files, you might want somebody to check your plane, unless you know where you're at. I mean, the Twitter files, could anything be more anticlimactic than how the Twitter files are being released? I mean, it's so disorganized and disjointed. I think we're up to Twitter files 17A. Sometimes there comes out like, here's Twitter files 4B.
Starting point is 00:44:52 You don't know which account is posting which. He's posting multiple people. One of the people was Bari Weiss, former disgruntled New York Times reporter who left the New York Times because they were too woke. And she started her sub stack and then she disagreed with him. And then him and her started, Elon Musk started arguing with Barry Weiss. It's all over the place. This is what happens when institutions crumble and people say, hey, like I saw one of the Weinstein brothers crawl out of obscurity and tweet today. He goes, can someone tell me
Starting point is 00:45:30 these like kind of obvious grifter posts where you could tell people are mining for the craziest people to engage because that's what boosts the algorithm the most is people who have the least to do and are the most polarized those are the people who boost your engagement which trigger the algorithm the most and you can it's so transparent when you see the posts i do them often as well but when he goes serious question what is the purpose of a modern mainstream news media organization? You know, I'm just putting that out to all the experts out there who might answer this question. That is such a fishing for engagement rhetorical question.
Starting point is 00:46:15 It's so transparent, I can see fucking right through it like glass on a fish tank. I see you, goldfish. It worked. Of course it worked. I mean, look goldfish. It worked. Of course it worked. Look at the numbers compared to his other one. Yeah, exactly. Go down. Go down to his other ones.
Starting point is 00:46:33 Go down to his other ones. Look right here. 265 comments. Yeah, to 3,369. And let me remind you that Eric Weinstein and Brett Weinstein are science teachers. They are science teachers. They're science teachers.
Starting point is 00:46:49 Imagine you were in school and you went on Twitter and your science teacher was tweeting anti-establishment, anti-media posts. And then the next day you came in and they were helping you dissect a frog. It's a little weird. What have we become? Truly.
Starting point is 00:47:08 And now welcome back. Here's his brother. Welcome back, Anti-Vax, Dr. Malone, Dr. McCullough, Elon. Thank you, Elon Musk. These people, I want to do a Twitter poll of who is up Elon Musk's ass the most sniffing. Is it the Weinstein brothers? Is it a few journalists who I know are on Twitter?
Starting point is 00:47:34 There's some people on there you could tell are just so far up his ass because he responded to like one of their tweets or whatever. And they know if they put the word Elon Musk in there, there's a chance he might respond or that Elon Musk has somehow recalibrated the algorithm that wherever his name is, it just goes to the front. So it's like, I want to do a Twitter poll. Which one of these accounts is farther up Elon Musk's ask? And then the last option is the gerbil that's already in there. And here's another guy, an uh contributor to the twitter files michael
Starting point is 00:48:07 schellenberger who's an md he's not even a journalist um what what truly have what what have we become where he released a a thread now what you have is all these mock twitter file threads where people are releasing these fake Twitter file threads and they're going, you know, they're making a joke out of it. They're going to Twitter files part 26.7. And then they go, one of them was funny. One goes, we have information that the executives at Twitter were collaborating with Satan.
Starting point is 00:48:44 Here's an email from Satan. Here is that guy Roth or whatever, Yole Roth, talking with the devil. And it's like, it's funny. Point being, the FBI and these people at Twitter kind of collaborated to suppress some accounts, some of which were comedy accounts and take, suspend certain accounts.
Starting point is 00:49:11 And I think that, I think it's scandalous. I think that's a scandal, but the way that they have released this information is bad. It might've been a mistake in retrospect to not go to a major news organization, a reporter at a major news organization. So it could be sort
Starting point is 00:49:25 of an organized, very thorough release, you know, instead of all over the place on Twitter. It's just, nothing has really worked out, I think, the way Elon Musk planned. And I think part of the is he underestimated what the Twitter personality of a human being is. Because it used to be that we all had the ego, the super ego, and the id, right? That was the way Freud broke it down, I believe, right? Every person was made up of, you know, psychologically speaking, the ego, superego, and the id. But I think now, in the digital age, we are all comprised of the superego, the ego, the ig, the id,
Starting point is 00:50:21 and the social media personality. There's four. There's four types of ego now and the social media personality is um a whore it's a whore it's an attention-seeking whore. It's a petulant child. It's a narcissistic teenage girl throwing butt pics up behind her dad's back. You know, it's a college athlete who isn't making money, otherwise wouldn't be known, who's posing in bikini pics and has a million followers not because she runs a 440 at duke there's a lot of those it's a international prostitute
Starting point is 00:51:17 who takes influencer photos with fendi bags in every major cosmopolitan rich area in every city in the country with 80,000 followers with the fattest ass and the biggest titties. But makes her money from selling her pussy to fat, disgusting, sweaty businessmen who move around fucking money for a living on computers. We live in a weird world where those guys make the most money. It's a real world where guys like Sam Bankman-Fried could end up becoming a multi-billionaire with absolutely zero skill by engineering essentially nothing,
Starting point is 00:52:11 by building nothing or by providing no beneficial service to other people. It's amazing. It's amazing that these hedge fund guys, these crypto guys and bankers just end up being the richest people. And then people who are like teachers make such little money. It's really weird.
Starting point is 00:52:34 It's a very strange thing, you know? Yeah. I feel like when you have no skill, you know how to market to people who also don't have any skill. So it's easier to be an attraction and build up and get a lot of notoriety. Well, at some level, these people are in cahoots to keep their party going. Strength in numbers, of course, yeah.
Starting point is 00:52:53 No, but they're in cahoots to keep their party going. It's the same thing that happened on a smaller microcosmic level with comedy. I remember there was a time where all these comedians who were not funny, they clearly just objectively had less talent it is what it is talent is pretty objective and the the taste is subjective but when you see some guy doing voices or impersonations or has charisma you're like guys got talent right it's a pretty objective thing for the most part and there was a period where like all these kind of let's like talentless nerds were like thriving in comedy.
Starting point is 00:53:27 And it was because they were doing these shows in the neighborhoods where these people that worked at paste magazine and the Huffington post and comedy central all lived. And those people didn't want to go to like the comedy seller or comedy clubs. And they wanted to go to like this cool kind of like, hey, we all moved from somewhere to New York. Hey, I'm from Schaumburg, Illinois. Hey, I'm from Idaho. Hey, I'm from Texas.
Starting point is 00:53:53 We all moved here together. It was one big circle jerk. And they all kind of supported each other. And they all were like they were all making money off of the support of each other. And they wanted to keep that system going for as long as possible. And it was all based on bullshit, based on privilege and laziness, but they were in cahoots with each other to keep everyone out with talent. So if you started having talent, they just started going,
Starting point is 00:54:21 that's offensive, that's racist. They started canceling everybody with talent so they could keep their fucking grift going. having talent they just started going that's offensive that's racist you know they started like canceling everybody with talent so they could keep their fucking griff going at some level these people are in in in bed with the people who make the laws who make the tax code who run shit to keep their fucking money train going because if you sat around for one second and go, what do you actually do? Aaron Judge got half a billion dollars. I know what he does.
Starting point is 00:54:54 I can clearly say he hit this many home runs. His team made the playoffs. This is his skill. It's very hard. 0.0000001% of the population can do this, right? But if I ask you, what does a hedge fund guy do? Can you give me a clean answer? No. No, I couldn't.
Starting point is 00:55:10 Jesse, can you give me a squeaky clean answer? He hedges funds. He hedges funds. He bets. He gambles. He says, put a little money here. Put a little money here. Put a little money here.
Starting point is 00:55:20 And he takes other people's money. He speculates with it. money here and he takes other people's money he speculates with it and he makes massive commissions off of fucking people gambling off of companies and investments and how well they're doing against other people's money who are doing the same am i kind of correct in understanding that kind of who fuck knows but they're not really doing anything except moving money around. So it's an interesting thing. And what happens is, eventually, a bank like Wells Fargo gets caught going a little too far. They get caught doing what you call a Sam Bankman-Fried.
Starting point is 00:55:56 Now, here's the deal. I said this on a similar podcast, a previous episode. Sam Bankman-Fried was kind of doing what banks did, but they all got caught. And that's where regulators come in. And that's why libertarians are a fucking, they're a laughable freshman college student talking in a dorm room.
Starting point is 00:56:21 It's like talking to an Ayn Rand objectivist. They believe in this utopia. It's the same thing with communists. It's like talking to an Ayn Rand objectivist. They believe in this utopia. It's the same thing with communists. It's like this utopia. It's like Elon Musk, who I believe is a libertarian as well. They believe like everyone just kind of the market, just figure it out. It's like so neat and clean, you know, like human nature, profit motive. Everyone's just fucking moral when it comes to their own interests and it's like that has nothing to do with the real world all right it's like that movie state of grace it's like i believe i could do this i would keep jack out of it you know watch that movie it's one of the best mob movies it's
Starting point is 00:56:55 underrated state of grace but he goes it's like you believe in a state of grace in angels but it's got nothing to do with reality that's why why it's just like, I don't, all these political philosophies or anyone who aligns themselves with one political philosophy, it's got nothing to do with the real world. They're like, this is what I believe. And you're like, great. It's great that you believe that.
Starting point is 00:57:16 I believe that you probably believe that for some massive self-interested reason. And I'm probably right. You know, you're going to meet any fucking poor people who are libertarians you're not going to meet one guy who fucking needs medicare bad who's going like god I shouldn't have this I the libertarians are right take this from me you know what I'm saying so it's like, what happens in the marketplace, and again,
Starting point is 00:57:48 this is coming from a perspective, believing that capitalism is the best system, so I'll just preface what I'm saying with that, okay, but you know, shit gets messy, people are greedy and corrupt, and they fucking are getting collusion
Starting point is 00:58:06 and they want more and more and more and they break rules and they insider trade and they do whatever they got to do. And in Wells Fargo's case, they're ordered to pay, listen to me closely, because this isn't as big news. Nobody's going to be talking about this as much as Sam Brankman Freed.
Starting point is 00:58:25 Because everyone was so interested in crypto. And the possibility of crypto. $3.7 billion. For illegal activity. Including unjust foreclosures. And vehicle repossessions. Who gets fucked? You.
Starting point is 00:58:45 And you love it. You fucking love it. When the dick gets jammed in your ass, you go give me more. You want it. You want it. I don't even blame these fucking criminals for fucking jamming their cock up your asshole
Starting point is 00:59:00 because you fucking love it. One fucking cartoon gorilla at a time. Cartoon gorilla inch by inch. That fucking cock goes in your ass and you fucking love it because it's delivered to you by someone with a fucking joker smile on their face going, what's that dot on?
Starting point is 00:59:22 smile on your face going what's that my problem is I'm trying to fuck you and I tell you about it is my patreon worth five bucks a month I don't know what can I compare it to I just set the price because that's the other prices of others but join patreon.com slash Yanni long days right now for your bonus episodes. I can't sell you on it, but if I did a commercial, fucking it would go better.
Starting point is 00:59:53 You know, if I did like some dope commercial for it. Dude, if I got Jennifer Aniston to be in a Long Days bonus episode commercial, I'm going to get more subscribers. Does it actually change the quality of the content? No. But, you know, see what happened with the democratization of everything because of the internet. What also came with that is the democratization of marketing. Not only did people learn how to become their own media, to become their own content creators, their own directors, their own editors, their own spokes, they learned how to
Starting point is 01:00:31 become their own spokespeople. They learned how to become as good at marketing as any Madison Avenue agency. And so they polish up a turd, they take who they are, which is a cigarette, and they market it. And now they're Joe Camel. They're a cool camel sitting in a convertible. You know, most of your favorite influencers and content creators are ciggies. 50 fucking 1.7 billion in civil penalties in addition to more than 2 billion to compensate consumers for a range of quote unquote illegal activity. That is point blank. That is not. That is point blank. You can't misinterpret the words illegal activity.
Starting point is 01:01:22 Wow. The misconduct described by the CF... PB. PB echoes previously reported revelations that have emerged about Wells Fargo since 2016 when the bank's Fank Accounts scandal created a national firestorm. You remember this? I do.
Starting point is 01:01:38 Wells Fargo's rinse-repeat cycle of violating the law has harmed a million of American families. Wow. Wow. Wow. A repeat offender. Chopra described Wells Fargo as a repeat offender and a corporate recidivist. Recidivism is when, like, a criminal keeps,
Starting point is 01:01:57 you know, gets out of prison and just keeps doing it. Good word gets smarter. Adding that Tuesday's fine is just an initial step, holy shit, towards holding the bank accountable. So this billion, recognize that 3.7 billion in fines and restitution will not fix the bank's problem.
Starting point is 01:02:16 He's saying this is just the first step to what they were doing. Yo, what were they doing, dog? Wow. Hinting at further penalties ahead. have an ira with wells fargo since tomorrow buddy i'm giving you a call tomorrow and i'm moving that very small amount of money out of there yeah he's gonna be like oh what yeah he's gonna be like oh uh what happened was in his statement wells fargo emphasized that the broad-reaching settlement
Starting point is 01:02:47 resolves multiple matters, most of which have been outstanding for several years. We and our regulators have identified a series of unacceptable practices that we have been working systematically to change and provide. So my point is, like, how does a libertarian explain this? They always go, well, you know, it's because of the government involvement that this happened and i'm always like that's almost like saying like the foul happened because of the referee you know yeah it's like when meta world peace elbowed the shit out of james harden and put him on the injured reserve for six months it's like well if if there was the problem was
Starting point is 01:03:25 there was referees there right which if there was no referees spoiling the purity of the game you know meta world peace would have never been motivated to fucking elbow james harden in the head am i kind of on the right path you don't know we don't know does it smell right well i guess they would say that the market, the invisible hand of the market would regulate. So now you're going to pull your money out of Wells Fargo, right? You'd pull your money out of Wells Fargo. That's been pulled out of by Wells Fargo.
Starting point is 01:03:55 But exactly. You're going to get hurt because let's say they took all your money, right? Now your money's gone. So somebody's getting hurt in the deal. James Harden's getting elbowed in the head. Right. You know. But everybody else will go to another basketball league. Exactly. Yeah. Right. But so in this case, like, oh, we're not doing business
Starting point is 01:04:09 in Wells Fargo. Let me get my money out of there. And then Wells Fargo goes, here's the thing. We stole your money. Right. You don't have any money. Somebody's getting hurt in the deal. Yeah. So this is where you need regulation. You know, you need to regulate this stuff. You can't have banks doing it. I mean, this is not good. good dude you can't have jail rules in the economy you know you can't have jail rules on the court you can't have jail rules in the ufc do you remember before dana white cleaned up that sport it's just you can't do it you can't do jail rules you leave things to the rules of the jungle people don't fight fair you ever see fucking you think hyenas fight fair when they take down a kill it's fucking ends justify the means baby they're hungry why would we be any different fair. You ever see fucking, you think hyenas fight fair when they take down a kill? It's
Starting point is 01:04:45 fucking ends justify the means, baby. They're hungry. Why would we be any different? You know, if you want to do things in a civilized way, you need a fucking ref. You need rules. You need rule of law. You need regulation. We and our regulators have identified a series of unacceptable practices that we've been working systematically to change and provide customer remediation where warranted. I love how they just make it sound so minimal. Wells Fargo CEO Charlie Scharf said in the statement, and it wasn't Charlie Scharf who said that.
Starting point is 01:05:19 It's a PR representative who wrote that because that's how the real world works. This far-reaching agreement is an important milestone in our work to transform the operating practices at Wells Fargo and to put these issues behind us. No biggie. No biggie. Just sweep it under the rug.
Starting point is 01:05:37 Why did you choose Wells Fargo of all the places? Because of my old manager. His financial advisor was there, and they grew up together. Rest his soul. Because of my old manager, his financial advisor was there, and they grew up together. Yeah. Rest his soul. The settlement will cost $3.5 billion before taxes in the fourth quarter. Jesus Christ.
Starting point is 01:05:55 Dude, this is a massive settlement. That was the cost of one scene in the new Avatar. Yeah. So according to the enforcement action, Wells Fargo had systematic failures, quote-unquote systematic failures, in its auto loan business that harmed more than 11 million accounts. Those failures caused Wells Fargo to wrongfully repossess some borrowers vehicles to improperly charge fees and interest and to fail to refund certain fees. Whoops. Whoops. It was a malfunction. We had no idea. It was a big whoopsie we don't know i love when
Starting point is 01:06:27 people start when they pass the buck too that's the best they just pass the buck around this is like 2008 remember that everyone was pointing fingers when when the when the fucking real estate economy because it was that yeah everyone knew what was going on everyone was part of the orgy asked tim dillon he was like we knew what was going on we all knew what we were doing we were giving loans to people who didn't deserve loans it was an orgy. Ask Tim Dillon. He was like, we knew what was going on. We all knew what we were doing. We were giving loans to people who did deserve loans. It was an orgy. The bank was handing out fucking free money because they knew that we benefit in the short term and in the long term,
Starting point is 01:06:54 the government's going to bail everybody out. And that's what they did. It's amazing that we, are we conditioned to not be pissed about this and to be just yelling about a laptop more? You know, is it like, is that like how, are we conditioned to not be pissed about this and to be just yelling about a laptop more? You know, is it like, is that like, are we conditioned that way by all these people who go to brunch together?
Starting point is 01:07:12 You think? Like I'm asking a question. Yeah, I think so. It's possible. Yeah. You just keep getting bombarded with stories. You know, it's hard to pay attention to everything. Or is there something inherently boring about this story that stupid people just can't understand
Starting point is 01:07:27 and they just go, I can grasp a laptop. Yeah. I'm going to crack head son. As soon as people see a word with more than five syllables, they tune out. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:07:34 They tune out. Yeah. That's just what, that's why like, that's why I was joking that like, we kind of deserve the dick that goes in our ass a little bit. You know,
Starting point is 01:07:41 the con men who take us for a run, we kind of deserve it. We're not responsible enough to read. Like when we find out our favorite celebrities are pieces of bit. You know, the con men who take us for a run, we kind of deserve it. We're not responsible enough to read. Yeah, like when we find out our favorite celebrities are pieces of shit, you know, and like people we used to worship,
Starting point is 01:07:50 like we kind of deserve it because we're worshiping them in the first place, thinking that there's something that they're not, you know? This is wild, dude. That's a lot of money. 3.5 billion.
Starting point is 01:08:02 You usually hear fines like a million dollars, three million. million you're like that's still big 3.5 billion dollars that wells fargo has to pay stock was up today and the stock's up doesn't 14 cents but it didn't hurt the stock price because it's barely news there's no there's no panic over it right because usually the stock price tanks after bad news, right? It's just like the public consciousness going, something's wrong, something's wrong. But this isn't in the public consciousness, right? It's really only on long days or the Giannis Papas hour. Sorry, I slipped. Marketing, baby. It's a better name.
Starting point is 01:08:41 It's a better name. So the stock slipped 14%. Meanwhile, Tesla stock is about to be hocked to you by somebody in Long Island. Going, hey, how you doing? How you doing? My name's Marty. I'm calling you from Long Island. Yeah, I'm here at Long Island, Long Island Sons.
Starting point is 01:09:00 Yeah, we're a brokerage firm that was founded in 2021. How are you? I got a really hot stock for you right now. It's called Tesla. Yeah, no, listen, don't listen to your friends who are saying it's a penny stock. It's not worth it. I'm telling you, this thing's going to go haywire. So Tesla is down, what is it, Jess? For the year it's down 59 it's now 59 and that all happened from a stock that was fucking skyrocketing and it happened just because of twitter truly right it's just because elon musk is on twitter or what is it is there like a recall on some fucking robots pussy all the all the tech
Starting point is 01:09:43 stocks are down oh okay i don't know anything about anything. They've had problems, though. Tesla's had problems with a lot of recalls. Yeah, recalls, and then people are saying that he's distracted. But his investors are upset because he's on Twitter. So one of his investors tweeted at him and had had enough and said, listen, you need to step down as CEO of Twitter because Tesla needs its ceo back
Starting point is 01:10:06 which is a joke we made a couple of episodes ago that he's just like juggling shit yeah you know so you don't think the brand is permanently ruined no you don't know teslas are too look they're tesla's so far ahead in the technology for for electric cars the cars are so good you know i have them they're so good. You save money on gas. It is an amazing car. It's an amazing car. It's like an iPhone for cars. It's the iPhone for cars. It's really well made.
Starting point is 01:10:35 It's designed well. People love them too much. That's why even Stephen King, who's like, you know, he's basically Billy Baldwin who writes books on Twitter. These guys are so far left. It's like hilarious. He's so moral. Meanwhile, he's writing Carrie about murders, about the worst things humans do to each other
Starting point is 01:10:51 and getting paid millions of dollars of it. But now he's fucking Mother Teresa. I don't even think Mother Teresa was Mother Teresa. She probably was doing something. She probably had an OnlyFans page. Nobody is, nobody is what they say they are. Not at all. And so I think it'll pop right back up
Starting point is 01:11:07 once he elects his new ceo which will probably be snoop dogg or fucking britney spears whatever whoever the new ceo of twitter is going to be yeah and then you got all these people sniffing his ass going oh do it yeah let me take over you know what i think trevor noah should take over trevor noah should take over the yeah i mean you know it was just it was it was a debacle him getting on twitter um worked a little bit i guess it like engagement was up for certain people i maybe twitter's engagement is up i don't know he's doing probably a good job of getting rid of the bots he's probably doing a great job for child uh predators He's probably doing a great job for child predators. He's probably doing a great job
Starting point is 01:11:47 at trying to reorganize Twitter to be more efficient and more in the black. He's probably doing a great job at all the tech aspects of things and the managing of the business, right? Because he successfully does that. But he's also tweeting. And like I said in a previous episode episode you can't be the jester and
Starting point is 01:12:08 the king yeah dog you can't be the jester and the king never get high in your own supply you never get high in your own supply elon musk is getting high on his own supply right now because that's what twitter is it's an endorphin rush twitter does it to everybody the social media personality is not elon musk just like when you sign on to mine you know how many people have have come see me live and go i i follow you on twitter and i hate you on twitter you know how many times i've been told that i hate you on twitter and then i come and i see you live and i had no idea you were funny Like or this funny or whatever I don't mean to toot my own horn
Starting point is 01:12:48 But it's like you know That's what they say By the way I saw a couple of fucking lists going around Now lists are a joke to begin with Yeah I know you got mad at this shit But yeah I mean I saw one And like it's like if my special was not on the Any fucking comedy list for one of the best
Starting point is 01:13:06 specials of 2022 then you know what have we become dog a little disrespectful i mean i wouldn't even say this it's just dishonest i saw another list it's just fucking dishonest yeah yeah it's just dishonest the level of jokes i mean it's just dishonest is what it is you deserve the credit i hate the fact that i to be my own fucking advocate. But you know who also is my fucking advocate? A little guy named fucking Louis C.K. Another fucking guy named fucking Sebastian Maniscalco. Another fucking guy named Tom Segura.
Starting point is 01:13:35 This is a pathetic moment in this fucking episode. A little bit. Yeah. I'm still doing it. Your comedy's Penny Hardaway. I wasn't upset about this one because I expect it from them. From Vulture. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:13:46 But there was another lesser known, nobody gives a shit about paper that I'm not even going to promote because I unfollowed them after I saw this that nobody even reads, nobody cares about, and I shouldn't even be thinking about. But because I wasn't on there, I was fucking livid. And I love that, though, because my, my next one is gonna take my dick and stick it right in your comedy ear like that.
Starting point is 01:14:08 Bang, bang. I am gonna fuck you with my next one. Yeah. I think the reason that people won't watch your next special is because of that clip
Starting point is 01:14:17 right there. Yeah, that clip. Should we just edit that out? No. No, keep it in. People wanna see the three-dimensional Yanni so they can,
Starting point is 01:14:23 so we can keep this podcast small. So another list was like, make your best podcast with $15. It was like $5, $4, $3, and you're on the $2 level. Yeah. So Wells Fargo, that's big. Now Donald Trump released his tax.
Starting point is 01:14:43 They released the tax returns of Donald Trump, and he's paid zero taxes. And, you know, the people, I guess, who are Republican or right-wing are going like, you know, so what, man? You know, so what? Now, this is how this plays, right? This is how this plays.
Starting point is 01:15:03 Like I said, it's like what keeps the wheel moving in the war between left and right is one side overstates the issue and the other side denies that it exists. Like so with the Hunter Batten laptop, right, if that was Eric Trump's laptop, that shit would have been plastered it would have been tattooed it would have actually that news headline would have been tattooed on fucking um on cnn's what's her name god damn it the joke would work if i could remember her goddamn name that come on rachel maddow cut this out start now yeah if this was eric if the laptop was Eric Prince's laptop, that headline would have been tattooed on Rachel Maddow's fucking man face. Eric Prince?
Starting point is 01:15:55 Did I say Eric Prince? Third take. Leave this all in, by the way. Leave it all in. Let's try again. Take three. If Hunter Bat... Take four. This is why i've never got any roles
Starting point is 01:16:07 at auditions and action if hunter biden's laptop would have been eric trump's laptop that headline would have been tattooed on rachel maddow's face. I mean, she actually would have got a tattoo of it on her face going, Eric Trump's laptop or Donald Trump Jr.'s laptop. It would have been everywhere. Corruption, corruption, commingling of funds,
Starting point is 01:16:38 nepotism, da-da-da, Donald Trump benefiting from son's Ukrainian deal. Fraud, fraud, fraud, fraud. Moral abhorration. I'm saying the wrong word. Morally abhorrent. It would have been everywhere.
Starting point is 01:16:59 Yeah. Right? Now, similarly, if this was Joe Biden's tax returns, if Joe Biden was one of two presidents to have refused his tax returns to be released, the other one being Richard Nixon, that's not good company, dog. That's not good company. That's like saying, hey, there was two of us that got accused and the other guy was Jeffrey Dahmer. It's like sitting next to Barry Bonds in a PED scandal. Yeah. It's like sitting next to Barry Bonds in a PED scandal. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:17:27 It's not good news. If the other guy's Barry Bonds, and the question is, are you using PEDs? It's not good. So if it was Joe Biden, then those same people would be doing the opposite. This is just how it works, right? So this is something, right? But yes, yes, this is how rich people benefit from
Starting point is 01:17:47 the tax code, right? Did he do anything illegal? I don't have the answer to that. I don't know. So the amount of income deductions and taxes paid by Donald Trump as disclosed in his, was serving the White House, was detained in a new report. And the report by the staff of the Joint Committee on Taxation was posted online shortly after the House Ways and Means Committee. Everything's Ways and Means. I still don't know what they do, but it's one of the more popular committees in the House.
Starting point is 01:18:14 Ways and Means voted to make public, redacted versions of the Trump's full income tax returns and those of his eight related business identities for the tax years from 2015 to 2020. And what did they come up with? The report reveals that Trump, on his federal tax returns, declared negative income in 2015, 16, 17, and 20, and that he paid a total, oh my God,
Starting point is 01:18:39 of $1,500 in income taxes for the year 2016 and 17. It's wild to think that the tax code, like we said earlier, without a doubt is written by friends and these people. Because to say that Donald Trump paid less taxes than Jesse Scatoro. That is true. That's a problem, dog. That is a fact. Yeah, that's a problem dog that is a fact yeah that's a fucking problem
Starting point is 01:19:06 i mean the guy's got supposedly a billion dollars right yeah so that's a problem dog that means that essentially the the our government is funded completely by the middle class for i i guess there's other ways they get taxed right because i know the comments are going to light up right there's other ways that businesses get tax, right? Because I know the comments are going to light up, right? There's other ways that businesses get taxed, right? Must be. Must be. I mean, the guy owns, he owns golf courses in Scotland. He owns a lot of shit.
Starting point is 01:19:32 Yeah. I mean, how is he not paying taxes on that? I don't know, dog. It's got to be some sort of pass-through thing. I don't know, dog. I mean, I have to pay taxes on this fucking thing, and Donald Trump doesn't have to pay taxes. I want his accountant.
Starting point is 01:19:42 Yeah, I mean, look, him and his wife, I guess they filed together. I guess at that moment, they pretend to be in love. They walk in. She walks, she'll hold his hand during that meeting. Paid no federal income taxes and claimed a refund. Oh my God. So not only did he not pay taxes,
Starting point is 01:20:00 he paid a refund of 5.47 million. Now I know what the comments are going to be like already they're going to just be yelling fucking don't blame him he's smart that's what they do that's what they all do and those people aren't wrong they're not wrong but again that's like saying that's like saying fucking you can't get mad at roger clemens they were all doing it it's like yeah but also roger clemens was too right doesn't make it right doesn't make don't make it right what you take it's jess i think that chappelle bit nailed it honest liar yeah he told you he's like this is the system i'd be an idiot if i didn't use the system yeah look if it wasn't trump i would get mad about whoever i found this out about now here's the deal that people wherever you love
Starting point is 01:20:50 trump or whatever you're gonna have to swallow this pill right here all the other presidents have released their taxes none of them have done this this would be a big story, right? If they not only paid no taxes, they claimed a refund. So not only did this billionaire pay no taxes, he actually got paid with our money. Our money went to him in the amount of $5.47 million. Now, this isn't going to move the needle a bit. Not one bit for his supporters. No, they don't care.
Starting point is 01:21:29 No, they don't care. And also, it probably won't move the needle on reforming the tax code, right? That's what it should do. Yeah, that's what it should do. Because every rich person's doing this shit. Yeah, so you can't really come down on Trump. And if I was Trump, I would do the same thing.
Starting point is 01:21:42 There, I said it. Why wouldn't I? Yeah, of course. Why wouldn't I? Yeah, of course. Why wouldn't I? In your pocket, yeah. Yeah, why wouldn't I do that? Because everyone's doing it. Everyone with money is doing these exact same shit. Yeah, so why is this such a gotcha?
Starting point is 01:21:52 It's not. I think the gotcha is he didn't want it released because it is a little like, oh, yeah. Right. Because he's going, they're all crooks, but he's going like, releasing it goes like, yeah, I'm a crook too. I see. I always thought it was because it would prove that he wasn't really a billionaire. He just played one on TV. Right.
Starting point is 01:22:07 That's why he was. I think there's some truth to that too. And I think that's why he was able to claim so many losses because I believe, you know, he's not as rich as he claims, but he is very rich. Yeah. He's still very rich, you know. He ain't no fucking Mark Cuban rich though, I don't think.
Starting point is 01:22:23 Right. You know, I don't think he's fucking some of the rich. He ain't no Warren Buffett. He ain't no fucking Mike Bloombergan rich though i don't think right you know i don't think he's fucking some of the rich he ain't no warren buffett he ain't no fucking mike bloomberg he's not even close on and the new york billionaires know that shit they they fucking mike bloomberg knows that donald trump ain't no real billionaire is fucking like out there going like look at my hair you know they're running for mayor they're trying to keep themselves rich low-key yeah yeah well i guess he did the same thing he ran for president kept himself rich um it's a weird thing man the the good part about the internet i think is just like everything is getting demasked like this is it's up to the people now man like what do you want to be mad about like i you know you know i don't know if
Starting point is 01:23:04 you can hold every person's hand and be like yo this is what you to be mad about? Like, I, you know, you know, I don't know if you can hold every person's hand and be like, yo, this is what you should be mad about. Like, hey man, I don't know, dog. I don't know if the magical Jew in the sky is really the person you should specifically be mad about. You know, I think it's a lot more complicated than what you want. Like, you know, sometimes you got to hold people's hand and go, here's the person who's
Starting point is 01:23:26 fucking. Here's how you're getting fucked. Here, you know? And the people who fuck, they do it quietly. They're not screaming on Twitter, you know? Our enemies, the people that people hate, it's like, you know, Candace Owens is, you know, it's like, what's she doing? She's just yelling on Twitter, making some stupid documentary.
Starting point is 01:23:47 But is that like, is she really fucking hurting you? Or is Wells Fargo hurting you? Is the tax code hurting you? You know, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. Is your jobs being in China hurting you, et cetera. It goes on. You know what I'm talking, you know what I'm saying? So I don't know.
Starting point is 01:24:13 But in happier news, at least Stanford has finally come out with a, um, a list, a harmful language guide. Now, this is a very fun story. Not as fun as Jay Moore dating Jeannie bus, but this is a very fun story. Not as fun as Jay Moore dating Jeannie Buss. But this is the second fun story. Okay? Now, you're a Gen Xer, Gen Zer, whatever. We're the Gen Xers.
Starting point is 01:24:37 Stop calling me a boomer, dog. I'm not a boomer. I just play one on TV. So what happened here? So Stanford University has an IT group, and they released a harmful language list, certain words that they wouldn't want their IT employees or the students at the school to use.
Starting point is 01:24:59 So this is kind of a list as a comedian you get when you go perform for colleges. Exactly. This is what you have to look forward to. So when you get on a college thing what they do is they send you a list of topics that are off limits you know kind of similar to what king z would do if you were going to perform at the university of beijing you'd go you can't make fun of the communist party you can't make fun of me you can't make fun of china you can't make fun of me. You can't make fun of China. You can't make fun of socialism. You can't make fun of comedy. You can't make fun of Chinese ethnicity. You can't mention
Starting point is 01:25:29 this. You can't mention the disappearance of Jack Ma. You can't mention the disappearance of that famous tennis player who disappeared for six weeks and then showed up and had the expression of her face like a fucking Jehovah's Witness. You can't mention that. You can't mention that we eat dogs. You can't mention that we eat sharks. You got to shut your mouth. What you can talk about is syrup sandwiches. Now go. Exactly. That's essentially what it is.
Starting point is 01:25:51 You better not say Winnie the Pooh. Yeah, do not say Winnie the Pooh. And actually, what I'm saying is not a joke. When you perform at colleges, you do get that list. And they say, this is what you can't say. Yeah, it's the list that Mr. Patel didn't get when he performed at Columbia. He didn't get that list. Not at all.
Starting point is 01:26:04 So on this list, they have certain words that are, you know, ageist, racist, ableist, what have you. And one of those words is ballsy. You can't say ballsy anymore because you're insinuating that people with balls are the only one that could, you know, exuberate confidence and pride and things like that. But one word in particular that gets a lot of people angry is the word American.
Starting point is 01:26:29 You can't use the word American because it signifies that the United States of America is the only American-holding nation, forgetting about South America and all the countries in there. So that's the word that kind of blew up the university because you can't tell people that they're not American when you have Americans paying for the tuition. I thought American was short for North American. I mean, you know, because North American would also imply, when you say North American, you include Canada. So anytime someone says North American, they're including United States and Canada because that's the continent, North America.
Starting point is 01:27:06 So America is short for America. Sorry, Canada. Well, they say it discriminates against South and Central America. What about Canada? They forgot about Canada. Yeah, fuck Canada. Because Canada, North American is considered Canada and America. So why did they not put Canada on this list?
Starting point is 01:27:26 I have a suspicion. what's your suspicion my suspicion why they forgot canada on this list is because canada is the majority i mean canada's majority is the majority. I mean, Canada is the majority. Bleep this word. White. And so they don't care about advocating for Canada. They're trying to elevate South and Central American,
Starting point is 01:28:06 mostly, darker, less, bleep this word, white people. Yeah, they try to elevate them, even though the World Cup just did that. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:28:18 Well, but you know, Argentina won, mostly a white country. So... I mean, is this not a softball right down the plate for Tucker Carlson? I mean, it's a softball. It's like a meatball. It's a lesbian softball game. It's like going to a lesbian softball game
Starting point is 01:28:32 between rival lesbian bars on Fifth Avenue and Park Slope. Park Slope's a neighborhood in Brooklyn. So the word American discriminates against South and Central America, Jesus Christ. Walk in, drop in. So walk in is out, drop in is in.
Starting point is 01:28:52 Walk trivializes people with disabilities. What have we become? Besides a parody of a country. Grandfather is out, legacy is in, because Grandfather Clause denied black people the vote. Who cares?
Starting point is 01:29:17 It means something different now. It's a fucking word. It's a meaning of time. That's all. You know? It's a different fucking word. The meaning of words fucking changed all the fucking it's a different fucking word the meaning of words fucking change
Starting point is 01:29:26 all the fucking time yeah there used to be words that were bad that are not bad now I can think of plenty of fucking examples long in the tooth
Starting point is 01:29:38 you know what that is just to think of an innocuous bad one long in the tooth is because you know what long in the tooth means it means you're wise that's the expression the bad one long in the tooth is because uh you know what long in the tooth means it means you're wise that's the expression the guy's long in the tooth means he's wise now that comes from old people as they get older your gums recede and more of your tooth shows so that's a
Starting point is 01:29:56 negative thing about old people it looks bad and it means you're fucking old and your gums are bad right but it means something good it means you're wise so and your gums are bad, right? But it means something good. It means you're wise. So when someone says long in the tooth, nobody goes, hey, man, hey, man, and you can only do it in that voice. Hey, man, isn't that a little insensitive to people who are struggling with gum disease and elderly people, man.
Starting point is 01:30:26 And you're going, no, because nobody considers that the meaning anymore, even though that's where it originally came from. It came from some sarcastic fuck who started it, who made fun of some old guy's long tooth, and now it means wisdom. It meant something bad, and now it means something good. It's just a fucking word, dog. Yeah. Now, another one.
Starting point is 01:30:45 A master's out. I remember there was the controversy about master bedroom. You could no longer call it a master bedroom, even though it was called master bedroom for a different reason. It had nothing to do with the big house. Right? We can look that up, but it had nothing to do with the big house, but they wanted the word master out of there.
Starting point is 01:31:01 Yeah. Right? I guess if you're fucking, if you're going to study karate, you better call that guy Big Bro. No more Master Sensai. You go, yo, I just got my black belt from Big Bro. Okay, so obviously master's out
Starting point is 01:31:19 because it connotes slavery. And you're going, even at karate class? And they're going, yup, you gotta call mr miyagi big bra yeah i just came from og wantonabi's house yeah i just came from og wantonabi's i just came from big dogs from the big dog oh that's racist against chinese people though yeah because they like to eat yeah they do like to eat dogs jesse
Starting point is 01:31:40 jesse that's sensitive but they do so do k. I mean, let's just face the fucking music. They like to eat dogs. It's what it is. It's easily catchable for them. Yeah, it's horrible, and I hate it. It's a horrible thing, and that's what they do. They fucking eat them. They're, you know.
Starting point is 01:31:57 Okay. Kill two birds with one stone is out. Oh, my God. because it promotes animal cruelty it is now uh do two things at once very creative very creative man now there's another example of something that probably started bad where some kid probably took a rock and pinged two fucking chickens who were going to die anyway and that's where it started some smart ass started to kill two birds with one stone
Starting point is 01:32:36 but now everyone just knows it means doing two things at the same time nobody thinks about animal cruelty does anyone have you ever if you if i said to you uh man we kill two birds with one stone means doing two things at the same time. Nobody thinks about animal cruelty. Does anyone, have you ever, if I said to you, man, we kill two birds with one stone, we do the pod and then we'll eat at the same time, kill two birds with one stone. Is there any iota of your brain going animal cruelty? Yeah, I'm not thinking, I got to call Steve Irwin right now.
Starting point is 01:33:00 Yeah, no, it's just not. All right, one more, Jesse. Can you scroll up? There was one more. And then we got, oh, this is a good one. White paper is now, are you kidding me? This is a joke, right? White paper is position paper.
Starting point is 01:33:19 White is racist. What? White is a color of the paper. Yeah, I don't know about that. Well, they do because they changed it. You know what? Wait a second. White paper, are they talking about paper?
Starting point is 01:33:37 Are they talking about paper? I think so. So you can't describe a white piece of paper as white paper. As a color. You can't describe the color that it paper as white paper. As a color. You can't describe the color that it is. Yeah, white paper is paper. No, it's also used as a term for a government or other authoritative report giving information or proposals on an issue.
Starting point is 01:34:01 So it's used in another way. But who cares? You know what so call purple paper i don't give a fuck yeah call that one purple paper they want black paper i don't give a shit they have a suggestion they wanted to call it a position paper yeah which is so much better oh man you could see how this could go endless right right? They go position. We got to get rid of position because position is something that was created in a hierarchical structure. Right, of course.
Starting point is 01:34:31 They could just keep going. Yeah. Primary instead of master is bad because it puts someone above someone else and that goes back to a system in which there was a master. And then you're right back to the first thing. This is just, this is wild. Just call it unseasoned paper, bro.
Starting point is 01:34:51 That's all you got to do. I find it funny. This is happening in California, in a state where they're talking about giving black people reparations. It's just like, dude, if you don't want to give us reparations and give us these fucking terms,
Starting point is 01:35:04 just do that. But if you don't want to give us reparations, just say so, you know? Wait, so like, yeah, I like, dude, if you don't want to give us reparations and give us these fucking terms, just do that. But if you don't want to give us reparations, just say so. Wait, so like, yeah, I mean, listen, yeah. Instead of a check, it's good that nobody can say master anymore. Yeah, exactly. So wait, is racism over now? It's over. It's over now when you can't say master?
Starting point is 01:35:19 Is it over? So racism's over? Yeah, every time I see a stack of loose-leaf paper, I think of my ancestors. It's funny to think that they think that if they change this word, it's just going to end it. The funny thing is
Starting point is 01:35:31 nobody's thinking it. When you go to a master bedroom, I have not once ever thought when someone said this is the master bedroom, I've never once thought of a master of slavery. Yeah, I never once.
Starting point is 01:35:42 My back did hurt when I slept in a master bed, but besides that. I've never once, did hurt when I slept in a master bed, but besides that. I've never once, when someone said someone was a chess master, I never once thought about slavery. Yeah. Not once.
Starting point is 01:35:52 When someone said someone was a master at comedy, I never once thought about slavery. It's just the word master, there's many meanings, you know? You know? Sometimes slave isn't even a bad thing, right? Some people like to get whipped by a dominatrix, and they're the slave of the dominatrix. There you have it. Context is everything. That's a dominatrix and her slave. But now the dominatrix has to call that her
Starting point is 01:36:28 natrix has to call that her willing subordinate but you guess what willing subordinate doesn't get that ceo hard the word slave does because slave is a degrading concept and that's what he's paying for because believe it or not it's a word, and he is willingly paying to be her slave because he likes it. So who am I or you or anyone to say that the word slave should go when it gets this Japanese businessman's little dick hard? Yeah. And he likes it.
Starting point is 01:37:02 You know? Nobody's safe word is equal pay. Yeah. What's up, everybody? I want to give a special shout out this holiday season to Brooklyn Cannery. Their sodas are incredible. Low calorie, no added sugar, all natural ingredients, prebiotic, and delicious. It's amazing.
Starting point is 01:37:19 It's amazing that there are now sodas like this that aren't going to take your feet. That aren't that bad for you, man. The ginger beer is like 22 calories. It's crazy, and it tastes delicious. So go to brooklyncannery.com. You can order a case. Throw them in your man cave. Giannis Pappas, all one word for 15% off on your order.
Starting point is 01:37:36 So no more. Just drink this soda instead. Right there, you're doing something for your health. Guaranteed. Longshorecoffee.com. It's amazing coffee. If you love coffee, might as Guaranteed. Longshorecoffee.com. It's amazing coffee. If you love coffee, might as well get good coffee from longshorecoffee.com and support them, support the show, you know, and you get great coffee delivered right to your doorstep.
Starting point is 01:37:55 Promo code FUMES for 15% off your order. We're also brought to you by the man, Nate Linder, who wants you to know there's a lot of bullshit agendas out there, but Nate Linder only sells marketing plans that are set up for success. He does good bullshit for you because he's focused on building decades-long relationships with his clients. Give him a try. NateLinder.com.
Starting point is 01:38:18 Get your free quote. He'll give you a free convo to let you know how he can help you manage your social media better, monetize, get higher in the Google search, all that shit. Chris Minetti, you know the deal for the holidays, right? 215-750-3730 in the Philly, South Jersey area. Give Chris Minetti a call. That's it. Give them a call. Wish them happy holidays. ForTheFree.art. It's artists in Hawaii. They post free music on this site.
Starting point is 01:38:53 Go check out all the bands there. Find out about shows. ForTheFree.art. ManlyGirly.com. Four hilarious podcasts on that network, guys. The Gringo and the Rough, A Side of Fries, Casa de Thinking, and The Manly Girly Show. Check them out. Give them a look.
Starting point is 01:39:10 Drop them a comment. The website is manlygirly.com. Of course, exclusiveautoshipping.com. If you're moving your car, if you bought a car out of state and you need it moved, exclusiveautoshipping.com will give you a free quote. Discounts for military and students. Jared, we love you. Merry Christmas to all our small business shout outs. Really love that you guys support us. We love supporting you. I think there's a spot open, right? One, three spots open now. There's three spots open. If you want to promote your small business or yourself or whatever it is. Go sign up at patreon.com slash Yanni Long Days, and we will see you in the new year, I believe.
Starting point is 01:39:51 Yeah. So Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, Happy Hanukkah. Love you all. It's been a great, great year. And drop us a line in the comments, your favorite moment. My Christmas present this year from you. I want you to join for the bonus episodes at Patreon. And I want you to tell your friends about the podcast because this next year is the year the pod's going to take off.

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