Yannis Pappas Hour - What Have We Become
Episode Date: December 23, 2022Los Angeles Lakers president Jennie Bus has a new, hot beau. Yanni goes thru Stamford’s harmful language guide. Elon Musk is struggling with being the jester & the king. And Donald Trump’s got... NFT’s for sale for x-mas because of course he does. Merry Christmas. Join for the weekly bonus episodehttps://www.patreon.com/yannilongdaysSee Yannis live Philly Dec 29-31Miami Jan 13-15West Nyack NY Jan 20-22San Diego Jan 26-28Chicago Feb 24-26Atlantic City March 3rdEmmaus Pa, March 4DC March 9-11Dallas March 16-18Springfield MO March 23-25Phoenix March March 30-4/1Tampa April 21-22San Fran May 4-6Providence May 12-13Mohegan Sun sometime google itWatch Yanni’s stand up special: https://youtu.be/ArlCFemEDvQJoin our highlights page for highlight clips of every episode: https://youtube.com/channel/UCfMy34qIYYy7XiRaHKO1ykwNew episodes every Friday night and new bonus every week on Tuesday at Patreon.com/yannilongdays Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
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Ho, ho, ho, Merry Christmas.
Is that how Santa sounds?
He's Scandinavian.
I think he's got more of an accent.
Ho, ho, ho, Marquis, mas.
Guys, my dates.
Come see me live.
December 29th through the 31st, Philadelphia,
at the Philly Punchline.
All tickets at yannispappascomedy.com.
Miami Improv, January 13th through the 15th.
West Nyack, New York.
Levity Live, Palisades Mall. It's a great club, January 20th through the 15th. West Nyack, New York. Levity Live.
Palisades Mall.
It's a great club.
January 20th through the 22nd.
San Diego, January 26th through the 28th.
Chicago, Illinois, February 24th through the 26th.
Atlantic City Comedy Club.
After Jay Moore.
You'll find out about that in a second.
March 3rd.
E-Mouse, Pennsylvania.
The E-Meows Theater.
I can't still pronounce it.
Emmaus.
Emmaus.
Emmaus, Pennsylvania.
The Emmaus Theater, March 4th.
Arlington Drafthouse, D.C. area.
March 9th through the 11th.
Dallas, Texas.
March 16th through the 18th.
Springfield, Missouri.
March 23rd through the 25th.
Phoenix, Arizona.
March 30th through the 1st. Tampa, April 21st through the 22nd, San Francisco, May 4th through the 26th, Comedy
Connection, May 12th through the 13th, May 12th through the 13th, Providence, and Mohegan
Sun Comics, some date.
So Google it.
So Google it.
Welcome everybody to the Giannis Pappas hour at the top of the hour in the middle of the hour at the bottom of the hour.
It's the hour news programs love the hour.
They go.
It's the hour.
We're at the top of the hour news at the top of the hour news 15 minutes
into the hour. What about what about at the top of the hour. News at the top of the hour. News 15 minutes into the hour.
What about
the top of the half hour? What about
15 minute intervals?
Why have they not updated it
for our millennial and Gen X
conditioned attention spans?
It is news by the second.
At the top of the second.
This is how news should go right now.
You remember that guy who used to do this and talk like real quick? Welcome to Raceway, news should go right now. You remember that guy who used to do this
and talk like real quick?
Welcome to raceway, raceway, raceway.
You remember that guy?
That should be news.
What happened is Jay Moore is engaged to Janie Buss.
My brain can't work that fast.
Elon Musk is at it.
Democrats and Republicans are trying to get each other.
It's a game of tag between Democrats and Republicans
and they're trying to get each other. You're it game of tag between Democrats and Republicans, and they're trying to get each other.
You're it.
Who's it?
It's a new day.
Jay Moore is now engaged to Jeannie Buss.
That is news at the top of the hour.
I think that's the biggest story in the country right now.
Jay Moore has blown up like a balloon.
I think his diet consists of helium and stolen jokes from Rick Shapiro
that he tried to get on SNL.
We got one more story for you.
Genie bust.
Doesn't he have a podcast called More Stories or something like that?
Anyway, the kid can do a Christopher Walken impersonation.
Who the fuck can't?
That's how you know impersonations are kind of like, okay, I get it.
I just got emailed by a writer at Howard Stern asking me if I do any impersonations,
and I kind of want to reply because he's doing some impersonation game show,
and I just want to go like, I can do impersonations.
Look at the Adam Carolla I just did and the Obama.
I just don't care enough to learn how to do it.
What's the big deal?
What is this, 1997?
Who cares about an impersonation just let everybody imitate
everyone else who's doing jay moore because what happens is one person cracks the code and then
everyone just does it i feel like everyone's just doing dana whatever dana carvey came up with
and impersonated and then they're just doing dana carvey doing that guy so i mean check out jay
moore's awesome comedy where he does a Christopher Walken impersonation
uniquely a Christopher
Walken impersonation
but right now
I'm impressed by his new impersonation
which is a suitable
suitor for this fucking
rich broad
GD bus talk about
coming out of left field talk
about someone I would never think I would hear from in the news again
after Jerry Maguire faded from the public consciousness.
It's Jay Moore.
And I'm not talking about Jay Moore playing bananas in Hasbrook Heights
straight after a weekend by Ned, otherwise known as Carlos Mencia.
I'm talking about Jay Moore moving into Jeannie Buss' $500 million mansion
and sitting in her office like this,
probably just throwing a ball against the wall
while she tries to re-sign LeBron James for another 20 years
because who knows what kind of fucking steroid-adrenochrome mix
that L.A. goddamn establishment has that fucking science robot on.
He's got no father.
He was made in a Petri dish.
But welcome.
What a success for Jay Moore.
This is like the comeback story of the year.
Genie, boss, here's the deal.
I think Phil Jackson had a big penis. Phil Jackson's 6'7",
tenacious defender, and as a coach, multiple-time, multiple, multiple-time championship winner.
It didn't hurt that he had three of the most dominant players of all time on his team. But still, he used Zen and he won.
And now it looks like Jay Moore is following.
That is a real downgrade.
That is a real downgrade from Phil Jackson to Jay Moore?
I mean, Jesus Christ.
That's like if Jackie Onassis, after JFK died,
just started dating Neil Brennan.
We got a lot going on.
Elon Musk is supposedly stepping down from Twitter because he did a poll where he asked people, should I step down as the CEO of Twitter?
And I think he unexpectedly lost that poll.
But I don't know if the mail-in ballots have been counted yet. I also
don't know if that's a reliable source
a Twitter poll. I mean I put up a Twitter
poll and one of the options was
me so horny and the other one was love you long
time and love you long time won.
So sometimes people just click the
funniest thing. So people
might have just did this as a troll.
Who knows?
But it is Twitter.
I mean, maybe the CEO of Twitter should be elected every four years by Twitter poll.
Meta should become the legislative branch where we elect influencers to work on legislation.
And then TikTok will be the judiciary.
Why the hell not?
The three branches of social media.
Let's make it happen.
Zelinsky's in D.C. doing a fundraiser tour.
You can't get just handed $60 billion or whatever's going without showing a little face at the party, which is what he did.
Stanford came out with a list of harmful language, a guide for harmful language.
Of course they did. That's all I have to say
about that. Of course Stanford did.
It's good to know the Ivy League is hard at work
getting our students prepared for the
real world. There's
thousands and thousands and thousands
of migrants waiting to seek asylum
at the border. Still, they're
just hanging out, waiting.
I don't know what they're waiting for,
but maybe it'll happen for them.
And we have some,
we will talk about a few comments
that were left on last episode
where people pointed out some inconsistencies
in my news reporting.
So that's a new thing I want to do
is when someone makes a point
and points out when I was wrong,
we want to educate, edify,
illuminate the point
to our other viewers
so they then can move forward in life
knowing some of the knowledge
that this person has bestowed on
to me. I would hate to send you out into
the world being
educated by this podcast.
I would love to... What do you call this?
An editorial... What do they do do you call this? An editorial,
what do they do that when they do that?
An editorial retraction.
I don't know if that's
the official word for it,
but it sounds good enough for me.
Sounds good enough for me
is really the motto
we live by here.
Sounds good enough for me.
Merry Christmas.
And to my Jews,
na-na-na-na-na-na,
your holiday sucks.
Have fun in Miami,
pretending like you don't care, while we
celebrate Al-Masata.
This is
the Yanis Papas Hour, and let's
get into what's the dolly, yes? Down as poppers. I don't know.
I just got so distracted by Jay Moore dating Jeannie Buss.
I didn't really...
Everything seems kind of insignificant.
I mean, the guy's neck is completely gone.
And Jeannie Buss is somewhat of a piece
for a 50-year-old woman, I would say, probably.
61-year-old woman.
She looks really good.
And Jay Moore is ageless in the sense that, you know, you can't really even say he looks human at this point.
He looks like a blow-up doll.
He looks like a blow-up doll.
I mean, look at Jay Moore, dog.
Yeah, he's bloated.
Yeah.
And I love that his male pattern baldness
just happened in the front of his head.
He looks like he's wearing his hair backwards.
He looks like if you painted his eyes, nose, and mouth
onto his neck, it would look more like a human face than the other way.
It looks like his face is painted onto the back of his head.
His hair is the other way.
He's going to be able to fix all that now.
I mean, what a scoop for Jay Moore,
who I assume has got to be in his early 50s, right?
Early 50s.
The only scoops he's been doing is at Ben & Jerry's.
That's about it, man.
I don't know where he's been working.
I don't know what he's been doing.
But you know when an article refers to you being known from Saturday Night Live in the 90s?
He did star in one movie, I believe, with Jennifer Aniston.
He had a shot. I. He had a shot.
I think he had a shot.
Well, Botox.
He had a few shots.
What are you saying?
Well, yeah, the big one, you know, Jerry Maguire.
Well, that was the big one, but then he starred.
I mean, that's when he was, like, playing second fiddle to Tom Cruise.
But then he starred in a movie, I believe, with Jennifer Aniston.
Correct me if I'm wrong. I think
after Jerry
Maguire, he got his shot.
He got his shot to star
opposite the Greek princess herself,
Jennifer Aniston.
How good was he at stand-up, though? Because I heard
he was running shit in New York
in the late 90s. He does a
Christopher Walken impersonation.
That I know. And I know he can do an Irish bartender
that was written by Rick Shapiro.
That's about all I know about Jay Moore.
Never met him.
Don't know him.
But he's got quite an extensive IMDb, though.
He's been in a lot of movies.
And he got a Teen Choice Award nomination for Cherry Falls in 1999.
No, for Go, the movie Go.
For Go.
Oh, yeah, I remember Go, too.
He had a moment.
He had a moment, Jay Moore.
He had a moment.
But this is definitely his biggest role.
Oh, for sure.
Pretending that he really loves Jeannie Buss.
Break out the Oscar. Break out the oscar for him what a score i mean wow so that's big that's a really uh big catch that's what that's when you go fishing and your rod is
just like whoa whoa whoa and that's not you, you know, it's not Jeannie Bush.
She's not a heavy woman.
But, you know, her bank account is very heavy.
I think she's like in charge of the Lakers.
Am I right?
Yeah, she runs the Lakers.
She runs the Lakers.
That's going to be a weird day.
Honey, I'm going to work.
I'm going to work.
I'm going to work.
I'm going to crypto.com arena. I'm going to work.'m going what is i'm going to crypto.com arena i'm going to work
and he's going okay and he's just in his socks and flip-flops eating cereal
going like i'm podcasting at about two so if you need anything how long do you think this lasts
i don't know if bet mgGM has put it up yet,
but I say this would be a fun one to bet on.
And I think the bet should be like,
you know, they should just go,
it's a given it's going to be a year.
It's a given.
It's a given it will be one year.
This one's an easy prediction.
Let's make a prediction now.
Going into the new year,
Merry Christmas,
Happy Holidays, everybody.
Happy Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Let's make a prediction now. Going into the new year. Merry Christmas. Happy holidays, everybody.
Happy Hanukkah.
Kwanzaa.
Whatever you want to do to try to compete with the big dog,
Santa Claus.
Santa Claus is number one.
We're going to make the prediction right now.
I'm going this romance lasts for three months.
Whoa.
Three months.
You're going way under.
Yeah.
She hasn't flashed her engagement ring on Instagram just yet.
I think I might have a suspicion why.
Because it's from Kay's Jeweler?
So she didn't want to open a box that said Kay's on it?
Yeah.
Ooh, wait, there we go.
Look at that.
Look at Jay Leno.
I called him Jay Leno.
Jay Moore.
And this is from Jeannie Buss' Instagram. I was cast as the hot blonde in this video.
Catch Jay Moore at Atlantic City Comedy Club.
Nah, son.
I mean, whoa. You know what's funny? Atlantic City Comedy Club is Nah, son. I mean, whoa.
You know what's funny?
Atlantic City Comedy Club is where I'm going to be,
I think, on March 3rd.
That is not a joke.
I believe it's March 3rd.
I'll be there, and then I'll be in E-Meow-E-Ow's,
Pennsylvania, March 4th.
So catch Mr. Bus to be at Atlantic City.
That's a really...
Dog.
Dog.
Jeannie, I don't know what's going on.
I don't know what's going on in your life.
When did her and Phil Jackson break up?
When did legend Phil Jackson and Jeannie Boss break up?
Jackson and Jeannie bus break up.
It might be when she had to like change the first, uh,
like diaper.
He's not a young man.
You know,
she,
you know,
no ladies,
no lady.
Who's a career woman's going to stick around for that shit.
If you're dating a younger woman and she's as powerful as Jeannie bus,
you just got to know that when the first diaper comes out,
she's the first time you got to get on Amazon and order your first pair of
huggies.
Uh,
you know,
it's over.
She's just going,
I didn't sign up for this.
I'm a career woman.
I don't even want to change baby's diapers,
let alone my,
my older boyfriend or whatever.
She was engaged also to Phil Jackson for four years after dating.
So they've been done since 2016.
They've been done for a long time.
They were together for a long time.
Yeah, they were together for 17 years.
They were together, yeah.
How old is he?
He's old, man.
He's got to be, you know, if you think about it.
Like 77?
Michael Jordan is 60.
So he's got to be in his 70s.
Yeah, he's 77.
And Jeannie Buss is what, 60?
61.
61.
So there's a 16-year age difference.
So his first diapers probably came out around 2016.
That's when you throw the first one on.
He was going into diapers.
She was coming out of them.
That's the first time you get a little leakage.
You're just sitting on the couch and you get up and there's just like,
wait a second, I wasn't eating chocolate ice cream.
Oh, I shit on the couch.
I'm leaking.
That's when the asshole starts to loosen up and you just start to leak.
And that's going to change things for a woman like Jeannie Buss.
That's going to change things.
Yeah, she wasn't in her 60s yet.
This is the challenge that career women face.
It's like, are you really happy?
Like, I don't know.
I watched that documentary about the Buss family, right?
And I think there's a bunch of siblings that he tried to like
leave stuff to i think she's the most one of the most competent of them right
one of them's got a ponytail i mean you know
i love it when like there's just like a great man like jerry buss was like a great man the whole
team loved him him and magic were close he built this whole thing he built the lakers he built the brand and then there's just the all
these kids and he wants to he wants them all to succeed none of them are ever going to outshine
him so they all just go work for him and uh he's got to make the decision of which one of them is
the least spoiled that's basically what it comes down to which one of them is the least spoiled. That's basically what it comes down to.
Which one of these people is the least spoiled?
You got Jim Buss.
I think he's the one who made a few bad decisions.
He's a part owner.
Oh, yeah.
An executive vice president.
She's the president.
She's the president.
So she's hands-on.
Yeah.
Yeah, she's the one.
She's the one, like, during practice,
they had the click-clack of high heels.
The guys get on their best behavior.
You know?
That's what she's, you hear those click-clack.
You hear the click-clack coming?
Oh, yeah.
And she's like, hi, guys.
Hi, boys.
How's it going?
What's up, Jeannie?
You know, she goes to brunch with LeBron.
And now Jay Moore, who will be at the atlantic city comedy club i can't believe she promoted his date on her instagram that's bold i wouldn't expect that
i tell you what i don't even think that's gonna help his numbers i don't think it'll help his
numbers probably not yeah do you think he asked i mean is that not the strangest instagram post
he probably did ask but instagram probably replied to GD,
like, I think someone hacked your account.
Yeah, I mean, here's the situation.
He must have asked, do you mind promoting the winter solstice?
The start of winter in the northern hemisphere occurs today at 448.
You telling me it hasn't been winter yet?
What app shows weird? Some app I got some star app that's weird i thought it's winter dog i mean she's with jay moore promoting his dates in new jersey and he's got like an 11 year old son
too i mean she she that would be like Mark Cuban dating Jesse May Peluso
and going, you can catch Jesse May Peluso.
Catch Jesse May Peluso this weekend in Jacksonville
at the Comedy Zone in the Ramada Inn.
That could totally happen.
I could see that happening tomorrow.
That's more likely.
Yeah, but it happens with a woman.
Like, a woman could do that.
A man can't, like, do that.
A man can't sneak in and get his dates promoted by a woman.
Usually it's the guy that's pussy whipped, right?
It's the guy with the money who's pussy whipped,
but she's like dick whipped.
In order to promote without one thought of this is embarrassing,
not one thought like, hey, me putting in the description,
make sure to catch Jay Moore at Emilio Savone's Atlantic City Comedy Club.
And I'm sorry, Emilio, if you're watching this.
I know I'm playing the club.
But I'm just saying, you know?
Yeah, he's got to be laying it down.
I never thought Jeannie Buss would be one Kevin Bacon degree away
from Atlantic City Comedy Club.
I never thought Jeannie Buss would be involved with anyone
who physically was inside of Atlantic Cityantic city comedy club this is definitely
her first comic that's what it is yeah she she's new to the game she's new to the game because he
was like how do you think that happened i think it was like this wait a second was that the
engagement photo where she also said that i hope not put it back yeah yeah so it goes i was cast
as the hot blonde so they put this up because she's showing off the engagement ring,
which is a little underwhelming.
I'm not a gay guy or a woman, but I can tell you it's not sparkling, okay?
I mean, if that thing was in a supermarket
and I had to throw a quarter into the machine to retrieve it,
I wouldn't be surprised.
Yeah, it does look like he won it from Dave and Buster's.
Yeah, it definitely looks like he won it from Dave and Buster's. Yeah, it definitely looks like
that could have been like,
he said, hey, it definitely looks
like it was paid for with Manscaped ads.
Yeah, it could be a prop from the Lord of the Rings.
I think
it was paid
for by a Keeps
ad, which
Jay Moore is using
and it's not working.
For Jay Moore, it's it's not working for Jay Moore it's like kind of keeps I'm just having fun with you Jay I don't know you but I'd be honest I haven't heard good things
anyhow so this looks like it's the it's the engagement photo and in the engagement photo
showing off her ring scroll down i because i can't believe my eyes i was cast as the hot
blonde in this video so it's her attempted humor um you know so i could see why they get along
and then the next sentence is,
catch Jay Moore at Atlantic City Comedy Club this weekend
on Friday, 11.12 at 8 p.m. and Saturday, 11.13 at 7 p.m.
Get your tickets with the link in our bio.
Atlantic City Comedy Club, exclamation point, exclamation point.
What has happened to us what is going on has everyone lost their mind she is the fucking president of the los angeles lakers
one of the most esteemed sports organizations on the globe you got the yankees you got the lakers you got
real madrid you got i don't know that much about international soccer so i won't mention another
one okay and you got the female usa soccer team maybe you got the fucking phoenix storm or whoever
won the wba championship there's a couple of very special sports organizations
that hold a special place in the heart of sports fans,
the Lakers being one of them, okay?
Dare I say, Jeannie Buss, there was a time that if this happened
and you fell in love with someone so beneath you in society that you fucking hit it.
You hit it.
You hit it.
It was a secret.
You kept it secret from your family.
This is worse than Hunter Biden doing crack cocaine.
I have never seen a royal name more besmirched.
This is worse than Harry fucking Prince Harry
dating a C-level actress born in fucking Los Angeles.
Harry married someone who had to audition for a role.
You know what that must have felt like
for Queen Elizabeth? Knowing
that her grandson married someone
who walked into a room
and had to slate her name?
Meghan Markle,
I'll be reading for the part
of
hot mixed girl
behind desk.
Married the prince.
The beloved prince of the British Empire.
This is some crazy shit.
And I don't think that's as embarrassing.
His mother, Princess Diana, married a multimillionaire,
was having an affair with some billionaire uh a rab bunny guy
yeah yeah right so uh they didn't like that and so they probably killed her um so
to them that was a big besmirch the name i was a billionaire but at least the guy was a billionaire
right playing yuck yucks yeah i mean is mean... Is she just going to keep promoting his calendar?
Probably.
Is she going to go, great game tonight?
Is she going to just post her and LeBron?
Her and LeBron at Ocean Prime.
Tim Dillon in the background with his sunglasses on during the day.
Right?
Right in the background.
Just fucking...
Pokeball monster.
In the background.
You're like, is that Tim Dillon?
He's wearing some Balenciaga fucking jacket
with Fendi glasses just going,
with a pokeball.
And then she's sitting there with LeBron
and it's a photo and she goes,
me, me with the goat.
Also, by the way,
my fiance Jay Moore will be at the stand
on New Year's Eve. Get your
tickets with promo code
PIZZA PIZZA.
Get your promo code
FORGOTTABALLIT.
She plugged
both shows. She plugged both shows.
And
not once did she think,
she knows nothing about the business.
She has no idea that this means
that he's struggling to move tickets on either night,
on the weeknight and strong night.
The weeknight not meaning the weeknight.
I'm talking about the weaker of the two nights.
Thursday's a weaker night.
Friday's a weaker night than Saturday.
Trust me, I know.
I'm on that level.
I'm on that level where I go and I go,
Thursday's just a warm-up.
You know?
I'm at a ticket sale level
where it's a crescendo of ticket sales.
It goes Thursday, Friday, and then Saturday.
You're like, okay, it's like a god.
But appreciate everyone who came out in Charlotte.
I apologize for what happened.
My wife had the flu.
She's pregnant, so she had to go to the hospital the flu. She's pregnant.
So she had to go to the hospital.
Her whole family's sick.
I had to come home, take care of the baby,
take care of my wife.
So I had to leave Charlotte early.
We did one show on Thursday.
It was incredible.
An incredible, incredible club.
Really, I love the renovation.
It's one of the nicer clubs I've seen in the country
as far as the setup
and the low ceiling.
It just felt really great.
But shout out to Court and Joe Bartnick and, of course, Jared Harvin,
who I think filled in the rest of the shows because, God forbid,
they club-made an announcement and lost the ticket sales.
Shows were good.
The rest of the shows were good.
It was great, yeah.
Yeah.
So, but, you know, the kids are moving tickets,
and I appreciate everybody who came out, you know,
and I will be back.
And, you know, Charlotte, comedy's on, you know.
Your tickets look good, so the deal's going to be different.
Today's prices are not yesterday's prices.
So, and if you don't want to do it, I'll find myself a little theater that accommodates.
So, Charlotte's a nice town, though.
You weren't there for none of the shows.
I wasn't there for none of them.
You're talking all this shit.
You know, but I do have spies in there.
Let me know.
I do get DMs.
I know we moved some tickies.
We did. We moved some tickies.
It looked like a Trump rally.
It depends on who you ask
how many tickets were there.
Speaking of Donald Trump, his tax,
it's hard to get off this Jay Moore story
because it's a fun one.
By the way, catch Jay Moore at Atlantic City Comedy Club
and then catch me there.
My wife does not run the operations of a major sports organization.
But you can catch me at,
in Atlantic City,
I think it's March 3rd.
March 3rd,
yeah.
March 3rd at Atlantic City Comedy Club for one night,
one show,
I believe.
So, you know, maybe I can move up to Jay Moore's level
where I'm doing Friday and Saturday.
Jay Moore, congratulations.
And I'm just joking.
I don't know anything about you.
You could be a great guy.
He is a great guy.
He does look like an Asperger-ridden bodyguard.
Yeah, I mean, he looks a little bloated.
He looks like a guy who's just it's his first week in AA going,
I can't do this anymore.
But hats off to you and Mrs. Buss.
I give you three months.
What do you give it?
I think it's at a high percentage that they last.
For how long?
For whatever his BMI is.
That would be 230 days.
Jesse, what do you think?
As long as she'll have him, he's going to hang on for dear life.
Yeah, you're not going to read an article.
Well, you never know.
She could be so whipped.
He could leave her.
I don't know, but they're engaged.
Do you think there's a prenup?
I think there's a prenup at play.
There's a big prenup.
Yeah, I think in order to play ball,
her lawyers are going look her lawyers are going listen okay you guys are in love whatever um he's
the lawyer probably said look your father i would have this you know your father would have never
condoned this i've been with the family for a long time he probably just echoed what i said like
there was a time where if something like this happened,
you did the respectable thing and kept it quiet.
We don't need you going from the Lakers game
and your $40 million palace
to the back of the room at Atlantic City Comedy Club
eating popcorn, watching your fiance
do a Christopher Walken impersonation.
But that being said, that being said,
in order for us to play ball,
we're going to have to sign a pretty strict,
a pretty strict, and when I mean strict,
I'm talking Georgetown clamps defense.
I'm talking Greg Anthony on the ball, full court.
That's a 90s reference.
Kid was picked up full court.
Tight defense, strict.
Prenup. full court um tight defense strict prenup and the prenup goes jay moore will not get an allowance i don't care not only we not get the inheritance the allowance that you're asking for will not happen
okay you will not you will not make up what he doesn't get in his bonus structured deal from Atlantic City Comedy Club.
You will not fill that in.
It's not going to happen.
So you're saying as long as, yeah, you're not going to read the news,
because Jay Moore has decided to call it off with Jeannie Buss.
But maybe this is true love.
Maybe that's what's happening now is I'm being a cynic.
Maybe I'm being a cynic because that's my job, right?
My job is to hunt down bullshit and have fun with it.
My job is to see bullshit on the floor, pick it up with my hands,
sniff it, and go, yup.
But maybe I'm a cynic.
Maybe Prince Harry and Meghan Markle are in love.
Maybe Jay Moore and Jeannie Buss are in love.
Maybe it's me.
Maybe it's me.
Maybe I don't believe in love.
But the problem with love is it's gross.
It's gross and it's beneath the Buss family name.
She's going to learn a thing or two, right?
She's not going to be plugging these dates for long.
Well, here's the thing with love, right?
Or these types of relationships that I believe it's exciting.
I believe something happened.
Timing is everything, right?
So she may be having a little bit of a bipolar.
She may be going through menopause, right?
What is she, 61? Menopause is she's her brain chemistry's all over the place he came over
and he went what's in a name you know he just did maybe uh christopher walking here we're going
there and she was like i remember christopher walking right because she's worked so hard she
doesn't have time to be on instagram and see the other 300 people do Christopher Walken.
So she got impressed.
She got happy.
They had sex.
It was incredible.
She went to see him at the Laugh Factory or whatever.
And she was like, this is fucking exciting, okay?
Like I've always been buttoned up,
kind of part of the bus family.
This is my break free.
This is my, you know, you watch the notebook. This is of part of the bus family. This is my break free. This is my,
you know,
you watch the notebook.
This is other side
of the track shit.
You know,
rich girls love this shit.
You know,
she went to his house.
He had fucking roommates.
And she was like,
I've never experienced it.
This is something
she's never experienced.
And when a girl
is at the end
of like her fuckability
and that mortality
starts to sneak
down.
We all start to think about what we didn't do,
what we didn't experience.
You know,
that's where she's at.
He's just going like,
I mean,
he's going courtside tickets.
He's gone fucking ocean prime.
He's going, it's the only
restaurant i know that's good this is the one tim's taking me to no boo yeah he's going no boo
that's another one tim's taking me to everyone's got to have a fucking successful gay friend with
good taste that just fucking drags you to the spot and says here's what to order and he's always right I'm glad
not just a gay successful guy
but a portly gay successful guy
because then you know
he has a passion
for cuisine
so you know what's in it for him
you know
and then what happens is
it just
Jay's gonna give himself away.
There's gonna be a moment of clarity for her
where the chemicals are just, are balanced back out
and he's just gonna be calling her
with what used to be a routine call
when she was under that spell.
Because we've all been in these types of relationships
where the chemicals are flying, you know,
you're having sex a few times a day,
you're connecting on some fucking unrealistic bullshit.
And then that moment of clarity happens
where she's in the middle of a big deal.
She's trying to get Rudy Gobert.
They need a shot blocker, right?
ADs hurt again.
They need a shot blocker.
Rudy Gobert is not working out
wherever he got traded to.
I lost track and she's trying to score him.
And there's a text that comes in again with a smiley face saying,
can I get two more extra tickets to my usual front court seat for Golden State,
LA tonight?
And is it okay again if I bring my opener into the locker room to meet LeBron,
like I did last time with my entire extended family for the holidays.
And she goes, this has to stop.
It wakes her up.
It goes, oh, what am I doing?
And then the relationship after this is the son of the greek guy who owns the san diego
chargers and that's how it goes yeah that's how this goes yeah okay that's how this goes i'm glad
he gets to experience it though yeah because if it wasn't him it would have been pete davidson
yeah yeah yeah
it still may be yeah so donald trump uh he might have just set the stage for all this kind of
you know is it look what have we become kind of stuff what have we become you know
you look at kanya you go what have we become you look at elon you go what have we become? You look at Elon, you go, what have we become?
Yeah.
You look at Jeannie Buss, you go, what have we become?
You know, you turn on the news, you go, what have we become?
You know, you go to everyone's Twitter, you go, what have we become?
Are we all just doing this for our social media credit score,
our unofficial social media credit score,
we're just creating drama.
I don't know.
Donald Trump might have set this whole thing in motion
because he is the king of wild.
He's the ultimate reality TV show star.
It's really, The Apprentice was top.
It was like his show was such a hit,
and he's such a character, and he's so funny, and he's so entertaining. And he released his NFTs for Christmas, which was a wet eye laugh for me alone in the hotel room. Right before I got to
call that my wife was really sick, I was talking about going through Dante's Circle
of Hell after coming from heaven because I was dying laughing at these NFTs.
Not only are the NFTs hilarious, but someone made a quick meme. Internet is undefeated. Someone made
a quick meme of Donald Trump's actual body looking at that one.
And it just made me laugh so hard.
Because obviously his physique is the opposite
of what a superhero's physique was.
You know, when Dean Cain played Superman,
before he was an outspoken Republican,
Dean Cain's on that list.
It's such a strange list of outspoken Republicans in Hollywood.
Dean Cain, James Woods, Charles from Charles in Charge, and Charlton Heston.
And Chris Pratt.
And Chris Pratt?
Is Chris Pratt?
Yeah.
He's outspoken?
Yeah.
No.
Chris Pratt goes the other way.
No, Chris Pratt's Republican, dog.
Is he?
Yes. A lot of people don't like him for it Chris Pratt's Republican, dog. Is he? Yes.
A lot of people don't like him for it.
But he's so likable.
It's funny.
Let's make sure of that.
Are you sure about that?
Chris Pratt, I'm telling you.
Chris Pratt, Republican.
No.
No.
He is.
No. he is no no he's not Republican
Chris Pratt's not Republican
I'm telling you dog
no
it would have been like the first thing that came up
they would have been
dude you know how desperate the Republicans are
for an A-lister
I mean the Democrats have the entire A-list the Republicans are for an A-lister. I mean, the Democrats have the entire A-list.
The Republicans have their biggest one.
It's Charlton Heston.
Am I wrong?
And Charlton Heston.
He's gone, though.
He's dead.
He's dead.
Clint Eastwood is who I meant.
I was thinking old white guys, big stars.
Clint Eastwood.
He's still alive, right?
Barely.
Barely, yeah.
I mean, he's barely.
He's on the runway, for sure.
He's on the runway, for sure.
He's on the runway, and there's traffic up ahead,
but they're sixth in line to take off.
So he did endorse a Republican for mayor of Los Angeles,
Chris Pratt.
I know he was a heavy Trump supporter, too, but I thought he was Republican.
You're asking for us to Google too many things
that would take up half the episode.
Jesse, it takes a long time, one key at a time. I'll get you some ice for your fingers google too many things it would take up half the episode Jesse it takes a long time
one key at a time
I'll get you some ice for your fingers later
but if it is Chris Pat I think we might have heard a lot more
but tell us in the comments
tell us in the comments
like Victory XR
told us if you were wondering
from last episode and I'll be doing this every episode
if someone corrects us
an editorial retraction, if you will.
LLCs don't do stocks, he says.
S-Corps and C-Corps do.
I don't know what that means because in the last episode,
I made a joke about a Chinese LLC buying your house.
So that was the only time I think I brought up an LLC.
But if you want to believe
Victory XR,
Google it,
and maybe
when it comes to buying stocks,
only S-Corps and C-Corps
can buy stocks
and LLCs can't.
Oh, yeah.
I don't know.
Trust that person over there.
I don't know.
That was cool, Jay.
I don't know.
Also, multiple people commented
on the episode
that Elon Musk's plain info is public information.
Because I said, hey, it's bad that you're tracking him.
It's like stalking, kind of.
They have a point, right?
So the guy who made the Twitter account,
he's just taking public information and putting it up there.
So I don't know.
That's a murky one. That's a murky one.
That's a murky one.
On his private plane?
It's public information?
Yeah, I think all planes are public information.
The FAA made that a thing.
So all planes that take off,
you can find out where they are or whatever.
And so he ended up banning that kid, right?
We joked about it last episode.
But the truth is, he's not doing anything that anyone else couldn't do.
It's out there.
So, I don't know.
I still feel weird about a guy who's got an account who's tracking it.
But I get what these people are saying.
Yeah.
So, the whereabouts of Elon Musk's private jet are based on public data.
That Musk band from Twitter this week,
flight data for aircraft from Musk's shiny multimillion-dollar Gulfstream
G640 jet to commercial planes.
Everything is public.
It's just a weird thing to do. It's just a weird thing to do.
It's just a weird thing to do.
Well, the kid's looking for a payout.
He's sticking to the 50K now.
He wants 50K.
He wants 50K, but then somebody else will just do it.
Then somebody else will track it.
Yeah.
So I don't know.
That's an interesting thing.
My opinion is I think you shouldn't be able
to track a private plane like that.
That's weird.
For a public figure like that, I think that's't be able to track a private plane like that. That's weird for a public figure like that.
I think that's a security risk.
You know, obviously it's different from traffic tracking
an American Airlines plane with just regular nobodies on it.
But I don't know.
So I still hold strong to my sentiment that I think it shouldn't be,
but apparently it is.
So I stand corrected.
The kid's technically not doing anything illegal or wrong.
It's the point.
It says here he's going an extra mile.
So see here,
it says,
um,
he actually asked to put together separate pieces of information to,
to create the tracking account.
So it's not like anyone could just tap into this feed.
You have to put the legwork in.
He's got some formula to do this.
Right.
So there you go.
The tracking capabilities are possible thanks to a technology
called Automatic Dependent Surveillance Broadcast.
It's like global positioning system technology or GPS,
but on steroids.
So he's putting it together.
Right, because sometimes it goes outside of radar.
Aircraft traveling outside of radar view
were exposed to long stretches
where no one knew where they are.
The issue reached a chilling turning point in 2014
when Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 disappeared from radar.
Right.
But ADB technology is now mandated by the federal AAA on all aircraft,
so you can track them everywhere.
But he's going the extra mile, obviously.
Yeah, like you said, probably looking for a pet.
I think it's, like, again, not to repeat myself,
but I think it's sketch.
Well, I'll tell you what.
You keep on putting all these secrets out on these Twitter files,
you might want somebody to check your plane,
unless you know where you're at.
I mean, the Twitter files, could anything be more anticlimactic
than how the Twitter files are being released?
I mean, it's so disorganized and disjointed.
I think we're up to Twitter files 17A.
Sometimes there comes out like, here's Twitter files 4B.
You don't know which account is posting which.
He's posting multiple people.
One of the people was Bari Weiss,
former disgruntled New York Times reporter who left the New York Times because they were too
woke. And she started her sub stack and then she disagreed with him. And then him and her started,
Elon Musk started arguing with Barry Weiss. It's all over the place. This is what happens when
institutions crumble and people say, hey, like I saw one of
the Weinstein brothers crawl out of obscurity and tweet today. He goes, can someone tell me
these like kind of obvious grifter posts where you could tell people are mining for the craziest
people to engage because that's what boosts the algorithm the most is people who have the least to do and
are the most polarized those are the people who boost your engagement which trigger the algorithm
the most and you can it's so transparent when you see the posts i do them often as well but
when he goes serious question what is the purpose of a modern mainstream news media organization?
You know, I'm just putting that out to all the experts out there
who might answer this question.
That is such a fishing for engagement rhetorical question.
It's so transparent, I can see fucking right through it
like glass on a fish tank.
I see you, goldfish.
It worked. Of course it worked. I mean, look goldfish. It worked.
Of course it worked.
Look at the numbers compared to his other one.
Yeah, exactly. Go down.
Go down to his other ones.
Go down to his other ones.
Look right here. 265 comments.
Yeah, to 3,369.
And let me remind you that
Eric Weinstein and Brett Weinstein
are science
teachers. They are science teachers.
They're science teachers.
Imagine you were in school and you went on Twitter
and your science teacher was tweeting
anti-establishment, anti-media posts.
And then the next day you came in
and they were helping you dissect a frog.
It's a little weird.
What have we become?
Truly.
And now welcome back.
Here's his brother.
Welcome back, Anti-Vax, Dr. Malone, Dr. McCullough, Elon.
Thank you, Elon Musk.
These people, I want to do a Twitter poll
of who is up Elon Musk's ass the most sniffing.
Is it the Weinstein brothers?
Is it a few journalists who I know are on Twitter?
There's some people on there you could tell are just so far up his ass because he responded to like one of their tweets or whatever.
And they know if they put the word Elon Musk in there, there's a chance he might respond or that Elon Musk has somehow
recalibrated the algorithm that wherever his name is,
it just goes to the front.
So it's like, I want to do a Twitter poll.
Which one of these accounts is farther up Elon Musk's ask?
And then the last option is the gerbil that's already in there.
And here's another guy, an uh contributor to the twitter files michael
schellenberger who's an md he's not even a journalist um what what truly have what what
have we become where he released a a thread now what you have is all these mock twitter file
threads where people are releasing these fake Twitter file threads
and they're going, you know, they're making a joke out of it.
They're going to Twitter files part 26.7.
And then they go, one of them was funny.
One goes, we have information that the executives at Twitter
were collaborating with Satan.
Here's an email from Satan.
Here is that guy Roth or whatever,
Yole Roth, talking with the devil.
And it's like, it's funny.
Point being, the FBI and these people at Twitter
kind of collaborated to suppress some accounts,
some of which were comedy accounts and take,
suspend certain accounts.
And I think that,
I think it's scandalous.
I think that's a scandal,
but the way that they have released this information is bad.
It might've been a mistake in retrospect to not go to a major news
organization,
a reporter at a major news organization.
So it could be sort
of an organized, very thorough release, you know, instead of all over the place on Twitter. It's
just, nothing has really worked out, I think, the way Elon Musk planned. And I think part of the is he underestimated what the Twitter personality of a human being is.
Because it used to be that we all had the ego, the super ego, and the id, right?
That was the way Freud broke it down, I believe, right?
Every person was made up of, you know, psychologically speaking,
the ego, superego, and the id.
But I think now, in the digital age,
we are all comprised of the superego, the ego, the ig, the id,
and the social media personality.
There's four. There's four types of ego now and the social media personality is um a whore
it's a whore it's an attention-seeking whore. It's a petulant child.
It's a narcissistic teenage girl throwing butt pics up behind her dad's back.
You know, it's a college athlete who isn't making money,
otherwise wouldn't be known, who's posing in bikini pics
and has a million followers not because
she runs a 440 at duke there's a lot of those it's a international prostitute
who takes influencer photos with fendi bags in every major cosmopolitan rich area in every city in the
country with 80,000 followers with the fattest ass and the biggest titties.
But makes her money from selling her pussy to fat, disgusting, sweaty businessmen
who move around fucking money for a living on computers.
We live in a weird world where those guys make the most money.
It's a real world where guys like Sam Bankman-Fried
could end up becoming a multi-billionaire with absolutely zero skill
by engineering essentially nothing,
by building nothing
or by providing no beneficial service to other people.
It's amazing.
It's amazing that these hedge fund guys,
these crypto guys and bankers
just end up being the richest people.
And then people who are like teachers make such little money.
It's really weird.
It's a very strange thing, you know?
Yeah.
I feel like when you have no skill, you know how to market to people who also don't have any skill.
So it's easier to be an attraction and build up
and get a lot of notoriety.
Well, at some level, these people are in cahoots
to keep their party going.
Strength in numbers, of course, yeah.
No, but they're in cahoots to keep their party going.
It's the same thing that happened
on a smaller microcosmic level with comedy.
I remember there was a time where all these comedians
who were not funny,
they clearly just objectively had less talent it is what it is talent is pretty objective and the the taste is subjective but when you see some guy doing voices or impersonations or
has charisma you're like guys got talent right it's a pretty objective thing for the most part
and there was a period where like all these kind of let's like talentless nerds were like thriving in comedy.
And it was because they were doing these shows in the neighborhoods where
these people that worked at paste magazine and the Huffington post and
comedy central all lived.
And those people didn't want to go to like the comedy seller or comedy clubs.
And they wanted to go to like this cool kind of like, hey, we all moved from somewhere to New York.
Hey, I'm from Schaumburg, Illinois.
Hey, I'm from Idaho.
Hey, I'm from Texas.
We all moved here together.
It was one big circle jerk.
And they all kind of supported each other.
And they all were like they were all making money off of the support of each other.
And they wanted to keep that system going for as long as possible.
And it was all based on bullshit, based on privilege and laziness,
but they were in cahoots with each other to keep everyone out with talent.
So if you started having talent, they just started going,
that's offensive, that's racist.
They started canceling everybody with talent so they could keep their fucking grift going. having talent they just started going that's offensive that's racist you know they started
like canceling everybody with talent so they could keep their fucking griff going at some level
these people are in in in bed with the people who make the laws who make the tax code who run shit
to keep their fucking money train going because if you sat around for one second and go,
what do you actually do?
Aaron Judge got half a billion dollars.
I know what he does.
I can clearly say he hit this many home runs.
His team made the playoffs.
This is his skill.
It's very hard.
0.0000001% of the population can do this, right? But if I ask you, what does a hedge fund guy do?
Can you give me a clean answer?
No.
No, I couldn't.
Jesse, can you give me a squeaky clean answer?
He hedges funds.
He hedges funds.
He bets.
He gambles.
He says, put a little money here.
Put a little money here.
Put a little money here.
And he takes other people's money.
He speculates with it.
money here and he takes other people's money he speculates with it and he makes massive commissions off of fucking people gambling off of companies and investments and how well they're doing against
other people's money who are doing the same am i kind of correct in understanding that kind of who
fuck knows but they're not really doing anything except moving money around. So it's an interesting thing.
And what happens is, eventually,
a bank like Wells Fargo gets caught going a little too far.
They get caught doing what you call a Sam Bankman-Fried.
Now, here's the deal.
I said this on a similar podcast, a previous episode.
Sam Bankman-Fried was kind of doing what banks did,
but they all got caught.
And that's where regulators come in.
And that's why libertarians are a fucking,
they're a laughable freshman college student
talking in a dorm room.
It's like talking to an Ayn Rand objectivist.
They believe in this utopia. It's the same thing with communists. It's like talking to an Ayn Rand objectivist. They believe in this utopia.
It's the same thing with communists. It's like this utopia. It's like Elon Musk, who I believe
is a libertarian as well. They believe like everyone just kind of the market, just figure
it out. It's like so neat and clean, you know, like human nature, profit motive. Everyone's just
fucking moral when it comes to their own interests and it's like that has nothing
to do with the real world all right it's like that movie state of grace it's like i believe i could do
this i would keep jack out of it you know watch that movie it's one of the best mob movies it's
underrated state of grace but he goes it's like you believe in a state of grace in angels but it's
got nothing to do with reality that's why why it's just like, I don't,
all these political philosophies or anyone who aligns themselves
with one political philosophy,
it's got nothing to do with the real world.
They're like, this is what I believe.
And you're like, great.
It's great that you believe that.
I believe that you probably believe that
for some massive self-interested reason.
And I'm probably right.
You know, you're going to meet any fucking
poor people who are libertarians you're not going to meet one guy who fucking needs medicare bad
who's going like god I shouldn't have this I the libertarians are right take this from me
you know what I'm saying so it's like, what happens in the marketplace,
and again,
this is coming from a perspective,
believing that capitalism is the best system,
so I'll just preface what I'm saying with that,
okay,
but you know,
shit gets messy,
people are greedy and corrupt,
and they fucking are getting collusion
and they want more and more and more
and they break rules and they insider trade
and they do whatever they got to do.
And in Wells Fargo's case,
they're ordered to pay, listen to me closely,
because this isn't as big news.
Nobody's going to be talking about this
as much as Sam Brankman Freed.
Because everyone was so interested in crypto.
And the possibility of crypto.
$3.7 billion.
For illegal activity.
Including unjust foreclosures.
And vehicle repossessions.
Who gets fucked?
You.
And you love it.
You fucking love it.
When the dick gets jammed in your ass,
you go give me more.
You want it.
You want it.
I don't even blame these fucking criminals
for fucking jamming their cock up your asshole
because you fucking love it.
One fucking cartoon gorilla at a time.
Cartoon gorilla inch by inch.
That fucking cock goes in your ass
and you fucking love it
because it's delivered to you
by someone with a fucking joker smile on their face
going, what's that dot on?
smile on your face going what's that my problem is I'm trying to fuck you and
I tell you about it is my patreon worth
five bucks a month I don't know what can
I compare it to I just set the price
because that's the other prices of
others but join patreon.com slash Yanni
long days right now for your bonus episodes.
I can't sell you on it, but if I did a commercial, fucking it would go better.
You know, if I did like some dope commercial for it.
Dude, if I got Jennifer Aniston to be in a Long Days bonus episode commercial,
I'm going to get more subscribers.
Does it actually change the quality
of the content? No. But, you know, see what happened with the democratization of everything
because of the internet. What also came with that is the democratization of marketing. Not only did
people learn how to become their own media, to become their own
content creators, their own directors, their own editors, their own spokes, they learned how to
become their own spokespeople. They learned how to become as good at marketing as any Madison Avenue
agency. And so they polish up a turd, they take who they are, which is a cigarette, and they market it. And now they're Joe Camel.
They're a cool camel sitting in a convertible. You know, most of your favorite influencers and
content creators are ciggies. 50 fucking 1.7 billion in civil penalties in addition to more than 2 billion to compensate consumers for a range of quote unquote illegal activity.
That is point blank.
That is not.
That is point blank.
You can't misinterpret the words illegal activity.
Wow. The misconduct described by the CF...
PB.
PB echoes previously reported revelations
that have emerged about Wells Fargo since 2016
when the bank's Fank Accounts scandal
created a national firestorm.
You remember this?
I do.
Wells Fargo's rinse-repeat cycle of violating the law
has harmed a million of American families.
Wow.
Wow. Wow.
A repeat offender. Chopra described
Wells Fargo as a repeat offender and a
corporate recidivist.
Recidivism is when, like, a criminal keeps,
you know, gets out of
prison and just keeps doing it.
Good word gets smarter. Adding that
Tuesday's fine is just an initial
step, holy shit, towards holding the bank accountable.
So this billion,
recognize that 3.7 billion in fines and restitution
will not fix the bank's problem.
He's saying this is just the first step
to what they were doing.
Yo, what were they doing, dog?
Wow.
Hinting at further penalties ahead. have an ira with wells fargo since tomorrow
buddy i'm giving you a call tomorrow and i'm moving that very small amount of money out of
there yeah he's gonna be like oh what yeah he's gonna be like oh uh what happened was
in his statement wells fargo emphasized that the broad-reaching settlement
resolves multiple matters, most of which have been outstanding for several years.
We and our regulators have identified a series of unacceptable practices
that we have been working systematically to change and provide.
So my point is, like, how does a libertarian explain this?
They always go, well, you know, it's because of the government involvement that this happened and i'm always
like that's almost like saying like the foul happened because of the referee you know yeah
it's like when meta world peace elbowed the shit out of james harden and put him on the injured
reserve for six months it's like well if if there was the problem was
there was referees there right which if there was no referees spoiling the purity of the game
you know meta world peace would have never been motivated to fucking elbow james harden in the
head am i kind of on the right path you don't know we don't know does it smell right well i guess they
would say that the market,
the invisible hand of the market would regulate.
So now you're going to pull your money out of Wells Fargo, right?
You'd pull your money out of Wells Fargo.
That's been pulled out of by Wells Fargo.
But exactly.
You're going to get hurt because let's say they took all your money, right?
Now your money's gone.
So somebody's getting hurt in the deal.
James Harden's getting elbowed in the head.
Right.
You know.
But everybody else will go to another basketball league. Exactly. Yeah. Right. But so in this case, like, oh, we're not doing business
in Wells Fargo. Let me get my money out of there. And then Wells Fargo goes, here's the thing.
We stole your money. Right. You don't have any money. Somebody's getting hurt in the deal. Yeah.
So this is where you need regulation. You know, you need to regulate this stuff. You can't have
banks doing it. I mean, this is not good. good dude you can't have jail rules in the economy you know you can't have jail rules
on the court you can't have jail rules in the ufc do you remember before dana white cleaned up that
sport it's just you can't do it you can't do jail rules you leave things to the rules of the jungle
people don't fight fair you ever see fucking you think hyenas fight fair when they take down a kill
it's fucking ends justify the means baby they're hungry why would we be any different fair. You ever see fucking, you think hyenas fight fair when they take down a kill? It's
fucking ends justify the means, baby. They're hungry. Why would we be any different? You know,
if you want to do things in a civilized way, you need a fucking ref. You need rules. You need rule
of law. You need regulation. We and our regulators have identified a series of unacceptable practices
that we've been working systematically to change
and provide customer remediation where warranted.
I love how they just make it sound so minimal.
Wells Fargo CEO Charlie Scharf said in the statement,
and it wasn't Charlie Scharf who said that.
It's a PR representative who wrote that
because that's how the real world works.
This far-reaching agreement is an important milestone
in our work to transform the operating practices
at Wells Fargo and to put these issues behind us.
No biggie.
No biggie.
Just sweep it under the rug.
Why did you choose Wells Fargo of all the places?
Because of my old manager.
His financial advisor was there,
and they grew up together.
Rest his soul. Because of my old manager, his financial advisor was there, and they grew up together. Yeah.
Rest his soul.
The settlement will cost $3.5 billion before taxes in the fourth quarter.
Jesus Christ.
Dude, this is a massive settlement.
That was the cost of one scene in the new Avatar.
Yeah.
So according to the enforcement action,
Wells Fargo had systematic failures,
quote-unquote systematic failures, in its auto loan business that harmed more than 11 million accounts.
Those failures caused Wells Fargo to wrongfully repossess some borrowers vehicles to improperly charge fees and interest and to fail to refund certain fees.
Whoops. Whoops. It was a malfunction. We had no idea. It was a big whoopsie we don't know i love when
people start when they pass the buck too that's the best they just pass the buck around this is
like 2008 remember that everyone was pointing fingers when when the when the fucking real
estate economy because it was that yeah everyone knew what was going on everyone was part of the
orgy asked tim dillon he was like we knew what was going on we all knew what we were doing we were giving loans to people who didn't deserve loans it was an orgy. Ask Tim Dillon. He was like, we knew what was going on. We all knew what we were doing. We were giving loans to people who did deserve loans.
It was an orgy.
The bank was handing out fucking free money
because they knew that we benefit in the short term
and in the long term,
the government's going to bail everybody out.
And that's what they did.
It's amazing that we,
are we conditioned to not be pissed about this
and to be just yelling about a laptop more? You know, is it like, is that like how, are we conditioned to not be pissed about this and to be just yelling
about a laptop more?
You know, is it like, is that like, are we conditioned that way by all these people who
go to brunch together?
You think?
Like I'm asking a question.
Yeah, I think so.
It's possible.
Yeah.
You just keep getting bombarded with stories.
You know, it's hard to pay attention to everything.
Or is there something inherently boring about this story that stupid people just can't understand
and they just go,
I can grasp a laptop.
Yeah.
I'm going to crack head son.
As soon as people see a word
with more than five syllables,
they tune out.
Yeah.
They tune out.
Yeah.
That's just what,
that's why like,
that's why I was joking that like,
we kind of deserve the dick
that goes in our ass a little bit.
You know,
the con men who take us for a run,
we kind of deserve it.
We're not responsible enough to read. Like when we find out our favorite celebrities are pieces of bit. You know, the con men who take us for a run, we kind of deserve it. We're not responsible enough to read.
Yeah, like when we find out
our favorite celebrities
are pieces of shit,
you know, and like people
we used to worship,
like we kind of deserve it
because we're worshiping them
in the first place,
thinking that there's something
that they're not, you know?
This is wild, dude.
That's a lot of money.
3.5 billion.
You usually hear fines
like a million dollars, three million. million you're like that's still big
3.5 billion dollars that wells fargo has to pay stock was up today and the stock's up doesn't
14 cents but it didn't hurt the stock price because it's barely news there's no there's
no panic over it right because usually the stock price tanks after
bad news, right? It's just like the public consciousness going, something's wrong,
something's wrong. But this isn't in the public consciousness, right? It's really only on long
days or the Giannis Papas hour. Sorry, I slipped. Marketing, baby. It's a better name.
It's a better name.
So the stock slipped 14%. Meanwhile, Tesla stock is about to be hocked to you
by somebody in Long Island.
Going, hey, how you doing?
How you doing?
My name's Marty.
I'm calling you from Long Island.
Yeah, I'm here at Long Island, Long Island Sons.
Yeah, we're a brokerage firm that was founded in 2021.
How are you?
I got a really
hot stock for you right now. It's called Tesla. Yeah, no, listen, don't listen to your friends
who are saying it's a penny stock. It's not worth it. I'm telling you, this thing's going to go
haywire. So Tesla is down, what is it, Jess? For the year it's down 59 it's now 59 and that all happened from a stock that was
fucking skyrocketing and it happened just because of twitter truly right it's just because elon musk
is on twitter or what is it is there like a recall on some fucking robots pussy all the all the tech
stocks are down oh okay i don't know anything about anything.
They've had problems, though.
Tesla's had problems with a lot of recalls.
Yeah, recalls, and then people are saying that he's distracted.
But his investors are upset because he's on Twitter.
So one of his investors tweeted at him and had had enough
and said, listen, you need to step down as CEO of Twitter
because Tesla needs its ceo back
which is a joke we made a couple of episodes ago that he's just like juggling shit yeah you know
so you don't think the brand is permanently ruined no you don't know teslas are too look
they're tesla's so far ahead in the technology for for electric cars the cars are so good you know i
have them they're so good.
You save money on gas.
It is an amazing car. It's an amazing car.
It's like an iPhone for cars.
It's the iPhone for cars. It's really well made.
It's designed well. People love them too much. That's why even Stephen
King, who's like, you know, he's basically
Billy Baldwin who writes books on Twitter.
These guys are so far left.
It's like hilarious.
He's so moral.
Meanwhile, he's writing Carrie about murders,
about the worst things humans do to each other
and getting paid millions of dollars of it.
But now he's fucking Mother Teresa.
I don't even think Mother Teresa was Mother Teresa.
She probably was doing something.
She probably had an OnlyFans page.
Nobody is, nobody is what they say they are.
Not at all.
And so I think it'll pop right back up
once he elects his new ceo which will probably be snoop dogg or fucking britney spears whatever
whoever the new ceo of twitter is going to be yeah and then you got all these people sniffing
his ass going oh do it yeah let me take over you know what i think trevor noah should take over
trevor noah should take over the yeah i mean you know it was just it was it was a debacle
him getting on twitter um worked a little bit i guess it like engagement was up for certain people
i maybe twitter's engagement is up i don't know he's doing probably a good job of getting rid of
the bots he's probably doing a great job for child uh predators He's probably doing a great job for child predators.
He's probably doing a great job
at trying to reorganize Twitter to be more efficient
and more in the black.
He's probably doing a great job
at all the tech aspects of things
and the managing of the business, right?
Because he successfully does that.
But he's also tweeting.
And like I said in a previous episode episode you can't be the jester and
the king yeah dog you can't be the jester and the king never get high in your own supply you never
get high in your own supply elon musk is getting high on his own supply right now because that's
what twitter is it's an endorphin rush twitter does it to everybody the social media personality is not elon musk just like when you sign on to mine you know how many
people have have come see me live and go i i follow you on twitter and i hate you on twitter
you know how many times i've been told that i hate you on twitter and then i come and i see
you live and i had no idea you were funny
Like or this funny or whatever
I don't mean to toot my own horn
But it's like you know
That's what they say
By the way I saw a couple of fucking lists going around
Now lists are a joke to begin with
Yeah I know you got mad at this shit
But yeah I mean I saw one
And like it's like if my special was not on the
Any fucking comedy list for one of the best
specials of 2022 then you know what have we become dog a little disrespectful i mean i wouldn't even
say this it's just dishonest i saw another list it's just fucking dishonest yeah yeah it's just
dishonest the level of jokes i mean it's just dishonest is what it is you deserve the credit
i hate the fact that i to be my own fucking advocate.
But you know who also is my fucking advocate?
A little guy named fucking Louis C.K.
Another fucking guy named fucking Sebastian Maniscalco.
Another fucking guy named Tom Segura.
This is a pathetic moment in this fucking episode.
A little bit.
Yeah.
I'm still doing it.
Your comedy's Penny Hardaway.
I wasn't upset about this one because I expect it from them.
From Vulture.
Yeah.
But there was another lesser known, nobody gives a shit about paper that I'm not even
going to promote because I unfollowed them after I saw this that nobody even reads, nobody
cares about, and I shouldn't even be thinking about.
But because I wasn't on there, I was fucking livid.
And I love that, though, because my, my next one is gonna take my dick
and stick it right
in your comedy ear
like that.
Bang, bang.
I am gonna fuck you
with my next one.
Yeah.
I think the reason
that people won't
watch your next special
is because of that clip
right there.
Yeah, that clip.
Should we just edit that out?
No.
No, keep it in.
People wanna see
the three-dimensional Yanni
so they can,
so we can keep
this podcast small.
So another list was like,
make your best podcast with $15.
It was like $5, $4, $3, and you're on the $2 level.
Yeah.
So Wells Fargo, that's big.
Now Donald Trump released his tax.
They released the tax returns of Donald Trump,
and he's paid zero taxes.
And, you know, the people, I guess,
who are Republican or right-wing are going like,
you know, so what, man?
You know, so what?
Now, this is how this plays, right?
This is how this plays.
Like I said, it's like what keeps the wheel moving in the war between left and right is one side overstates the issue and the other side denies that it exists.
Like so with the Hunter Batten laptop, right, if that was Eric Trump's laptop, that shit would have been plastered it would have been tattooed it would have actually
that news headline would have been tattooed on fucking um on cnn's what's her name god damn it
the joke would work if i could remember her goddamn name that come on rachel maddow cut this
out start now yeah if this was eric if the laptop was Eric Prince's laptop,
that headline would have been tattooed
on Rachel Maddow's fucking man face.
Eric Prince?
Did I say Eric Prince?
Third take.
Leave this all in, by the way.
Leave it all in.
Let's try again.
Take three.
If Hunter Bat...
Take four. This is why i've never got any roles
at auditions and action if hunter biden's laptop would have been eric trump's laptop
that headline would have been tattooed on rachel maddow's face. I mean, she actually would have got a tattoo of it
on her face going,
Eric Trump's laptop
or Donald Trump Jr.'s laptop.
It would have been everywhere.
Corruption, corruption,
commingling of funds,
nepotism,
da-da-da,
Donald Trump benefiting from son's Ukrainian deal.
Fraud, fraud, fraud, fraud.
Moral abhorration.
I'm saying the wrong word.
Morally abhorrent.
It would have been everywhere.
Yeah.
Right?
Now, similarly, if this was Joe Biden's tax returns, if Joe Biden was one of two presidents to have refused his tax returns to be released, the other one being Richard Nixon, that's not good company, dog.
That's not good company.
That's like saying, hey, there was two of us that got accused and the other guy was Jeffrey Dahmer.
It's like sitting next to Barry Bonds in a PED scandal.
Yeah. It's like sitting next to Barry Bonds in a PED scandal.
Yeah.
It's not good news.
If the other guy's Barry Bonds,
and the question is, are you using PEDs?
It's not good.
So if it was Joe Biden,
then those same people would be doing the opposite.
This is just how it works, right?
So this is something, right? But yes, yes, this is how rich people benefit from
the tax code, right? Did he do anything illegal? I don't have the answer to that. I don't know.
So the amount of income deductions and taxes paid by Donald Trump as disclosed in his,
was serving the White House, was detained in a new report. And the report by the staff
of the Joint Committee on Taxation
was posted online shortly after the House Ways and Means Committee.
Everything's Ways and Means.
I still don't know what they do,
but it's one of the more popular committees in the House.
Ways and Means voted to make public, redacted versions
of the Trump's full income tax returns
and those of his eight related business identities for the tax years
from 2015 to 2020.
And what did they come up with?
The report reveals that Trump, on his federal tax returns,
declared negative income in 2015, 16, 17, and 20,
and that he paid a total, oh my God,
of $1,500 in income taxes for the year 2016 and 17.
It's wild to think that the tax code, like we said earlier,
without a doubt is written by friends and these people.
Because to say that Donald Trump paid less taxes than Jesse Scatoro.
That is true.
That's a problem, dog.
That is a fact.
Yeah, that's a problem dog that is a fact yeah that's a fucking problem
i mean the guy's got supposedly a billion dollars right yeah so that's a problem dog
that means that essentially the the our government is funded completely by the middle class
for i i guess there's other ways they get taxed right because i know the comments are going to
light up right there's other ways that businesses get tax, right? Because I know the comments are going to light up, right? There's other ways that businesses get taxed, right?
Must be.
Must be.
I mean, the guy owns, he owns golf courses in Scotland.
He owns a lot of shit.
Yeah.
I mean, how is he not paying taxes on that?
I don't know, dog.
It's got to be some sort of pass-through thing.
I don't know, dog.
I mean, I have to pay taxes on this fucking thing,
and Donald Trump doesn't have to pay taxes.
I want his accountant.
Yeah, I mean, look, him and his wife,
I guess they filed together.
I guess at that moment, they pretend to be in love.
They walk in.
She walks, she'll hold his hand during that meeting.
Paid no federal income taxes and claimed a refund.
Oh my God.
So not only did he not pay taxes,
he paid a refund of 5.47 million.
Now I know what the comments are going to be like already
they're going to just be yelling fucking don't blame him he's smart that's what they do that's
what they all do and those people aren't wrong they're not wrong but again that's like saying
that's like saying fucking you can't get mad at roger clemens they were all doing it it's like yeah but also roger
clemens was too right doesn't make it right doesn't make don't make it right
what you take it's jess i think that chappelle bit nailed it honest liar yeah he told you he's
like this is the system i'd be an idiot if i didn't use the system yeah look if it wasn't trump i would get mad about whoever i found this out about now here's the deal that people wherever you love
trump or whatever you're gonna have to swallow this pill right here all the other presidents
have released their taxes none of them have done this this would be a big story, right? If they not only paid no taxes, they claimed a refund.
So not only did this billionaire pay no taxes,
he actually got paid with our money.
Our money went to him in the amount of $5.47 million.
Now, this isn't going to move the needle a bit.
Not one bit for his supporters.
No, they don't care.
No, they don't care.
And also, it probably won't move the needle
on reforming the tax code, right?
That's what it should do.
Yeah, that's what it should do.
Because every rich person's doing this shit.
Yeah, so you can't really come down on Trump.
And if I was Trump, I would do the same thing.
There, I said it.
Why wouldn't I?
Yeah, of course. Why wouldn't I? Yeah, of course.
Why wouldn't I?
In your pocket, yeah.
Yeah, why wouldn't I do that?
Because everyone's doing it. Everyone with money is doing these exact same shit.
Yeah, so why is this such a gotcha?
It's not.
I think the gotcha is he didn't want it released because it is a little like, oh, yeah.
Right.
Because he's going, they're all crooks, but he's going like, releasing it goes like,
yeah, I'm a crook too.
I see. I always thought it was because it would prove that he wasn't really a billionaire.
He just played one on TV.
Right.
That's why he was.
I think there's some truth to that too.
And I think that's why he was able to claim so many losses
because I believe, you know, he's not as rich as he claims,
but he is very rich.
Yeah.
He's still very rich, you know.
He ain't no fucking Mark Cuban rich though, I don't think.
Right.
You know, I don't think he's fucking some of the rich. He ain't no Warren Buffett. He ain't no fucking Mike Bloombergan rich though i don't think right you know i don't think he's fucking some of the rich he ain't no warren buffett he ain't no fucking mike bloomberg he's
not even close on and the new york billionaires know that shit they they fucking mike bloomberg
knows that donald trump ain't no real billionaire is fucking like out there going like look at my
hair you know they're running for mayor they're trying to keep themselves rich low-key yeah yeah
well i guess he did the same thing he ran for president kept himself rich um it's a weird thing man the the good part about the
internet i think is just like everything is getting demasked like this is it's up to the
people now man like what do you want to be mad about like i you know you know i don't know if
you can hold every person's hand and be like yo this is what you to be mad about? Like, I, you know, you know, I don't know if you can hold every person's hand
and be like, yo, this is what you should be mad about.
Like, hey man, I don't know, dog.
I don't know if the magical Jew in the sky
is really the person you should specifically be mad about.
You know, I think it's a lot more complicated
than what you want.
Like, you know, sometimes you got to hold people's hand and go, here's the person who's
fucking.
Here's how you're getting fucked.
Here, you know?
And the people who fuck, they do it quietly.
They're not screaming on Twitter, you know?
Our enemies, the people that people hate, it's like, you know, Candace Owens is, you
know, it's like, what's she doing?
She's just yelling on Twitter, making some stupid documentary.
But is that like, is she really fucking hurting you?
Or is Wells Fargo hurting you?
Is the tax code hurting you?
You know, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.
Is your jobs being in China hurting you, et cetera.
It goes on.
You know what I'm talking, you know what I'm saying?
So I don't know.
But in happier news, at least Stanford has finally come out with a, um, a list, a harmful
language guide.
Now, this is a very fun story.
Not as fun as Jay Moore dating Jeannie bus, but this is a very fun story. Not as fun as Jay Moore dating Jeannie Buss.
But this is the second fun story.
Okay?
Now, you're a Gen Xer, Gen Zer, whatever.
We're the Gen Xers.
Stop calling me a boomer, dog.
I'm not a boomer.
I just play one on TV.
So what happened here?
So Stanford University has an IT group,
and they released a harmful language list,
certain words that they wouldn't want their IT employees
or the students at the school to use.
So this is kind of a list as a comedian you get
when you go perform for colleges.
Exactly.
This is what you have to look forward to.
So when you get on a college thing what they do is they send you a
list of topics that are off limits you know kind of similar to what king z would do if you were
going to perform at the university of beijing you'd go you can't make fun of the communist party
you can't make fun of me you can't make fun of china you can't make fun of me. You can't make fun of China. You can't make fun of socialism. You can't make fun of comedy. You can't make fun of Chinese ethnicity. You can't mention
this. You can't mention the disappearance of Jack Ma. You can't mention the disappearance of that
famous tennis player who disappeared for six weeks and then showed up and had the expression
of her face like a fucking Jehovah's Witness. You can't mention that. You can't mention that
we eat dogs. You can't mention that we eat sharks. You got to shut your mouth.
What you can talk about is syrup sandwiches.
Now go.
Exactly.
That's essentially what it is.
You better not say Winnie the Pooh.
Yeah, do not say Winnie the Pooh.
And actually, what I'm saying is not a joke.
When you perform at colleges, you do get that list.
And they say, this is what you can't say.
Yeah, it's the list that Mr. Patel didn't get when he performed at Columbia.
He didn't get that list.
Not at all.
So on this list, they have certain words that are, you know,
ageist, racist, ableist, what have you.
And one of those words is ballsy.
You can't say ballsy anymore because you're insinuating that people with balls
are the only one that could, you know, exuberate confidence and pride
and things like that.
But one word in particular that gets a lot of people angry
is the word American.
You can't use the word American because it signifies
that the United States of America is the only American-holding nation,
forgetting about South America and all the countries in there.
So that's the word that kind of blew up the university
because you can't tell people that they're not American when you have Americans paying for the tuition.
I thought American was short for North American.
I mean, you know, because North American would also imply, when you say North American, you include Canada.
So anytime someone says North American, they're including United States and Canada because that's the continent, North America.
So America is short for America.
Sorry, Canada.
Well, they say it discriminates against South and Central America.
What about Canada?
They forgot about Canada.
Yeah, fuck Canada.
Because Canada, North American is considered Canada and America.
So why did they not put Canada on this list?
I have a suspicion. what's your suspicion my suspicion why they forgot canada on this list is
because canada
is the majority
i mean canada's majority is the majority. I mean, Canada is the majority.
Bleep this word.
White.
And so they don't care about advocating for Canada.
They're trying to elevate South and Central American,
mostly,
darker,
less,
bleep this word,
white people.
Yeah, they try to elevate them,
even though the World Cup just did that.
Yeah.
Well, but you know,
Argentina won,
mostly a white country.
So... I mean, is this not a softball right down the plate for Tucker Carlson?
I mean, it's a softball.
It's like a meatball.
It's a lesbian softball game.
It's like going to a lesbian softball game
between rival lesbian bars
on Fifth Avenue and Park Slope.
Park Slope's a neighborhood in Brooklyn.
So the word American discriminates
against South and Central America,
Jesus Christ.
Walk in, drop in.
So walk in is out, drop in is in.
Walk trivializes people with disabilities.
What have we become?
Besides a parody of a country.
Grandfather is out,
legacy is in,
because Grandfather Clause
denied black people the vote.
Who cares?
It means something different now.
It's a fucking word.
It's a meaning of time.
That's all.
You know?
It's a different fucking word.
The meaning of words fucking changed all the fucking it's a different fucking word the meaning of words
fucking change
all the fucking time
yeah
there used to be words
that were bad
that are not bad now
I can think of
plenty of fucking examples
long in the tooth
you know what that is
just to think of
an innocuous bad one
long in the tooth
is because
you know what long in the tooth means it means you're wise that's the expression the bad one long in the tooth is because uh you know what long in the tooth means
it means you're wise that's the expression the guy's long in the tooth means he's wise now that
comes from old people as they get older your gums recede and more of your tooth shows so that's a
negative thing about old people it looks bad and it means you're fucking old and your gums are bad
right but it means something good it means you're wise so and your gums are bad, right?
But it means something good.
It means you're wise.
So when someone says long in the tooth, nobody goes,
hey, man, hey, man, and you can only do it in that voice.
Hey, man, isn't that a little insensitive to people
who are struggling with gum disease and elderly people, man.
And you're going, no, because nobody considers that the meaning anymore,
even though that's where it originally came from.
It came from some sarcastic fuck who started it,
who made fun of some old guy's long tooth, and now it means wisdom.
It meant something bad, and now it means something good.
It's just a fucking word, dog.
Yeah.
Now, another one.
A master's out.
I remember there was the controversy about master bedroom.
You could no longer call it a master bedroom,
even though it was called master bedroom for a different reason.
It had nothing to do with the big house.
Right?
We can look that up, but it had nothing to do with the big house,
but they wanted the word master out of there.
Yeah.
Right?
I guess if you're fucking, if you're going to study karate,
you better call that guy Big Bro.
No more Master Sensai.
You go, yo,
I just got my black belt from Big Bro.
Okay, so obviously master's out
because it connotes slavery.
And you're going,
even at karate class?
And they're going,
yup, you gotta call mr
miyagi big bra yeah i just came from og wantonabi's house yeah i just came from og wantonabi's
i just came from big dogs from the big dog oh that's racist against chinese people though
yeah because they like to eat yeah they do like to eat dogs jesse
jesse that's sensitive but they do so do k. I mean, let's just face the fucking music.
They like to eat dogs.
It's what it is.
It's easily catchable for them.
Yeah, it's horrible, and I hate it.
It's a horrible thing, and that's what they do.
They fucking eat them.
They're, you know.
Okay.
Kill two birds with one stone is out.
Oh, my God. because it promotes animal cruelty
it is now uh do two things at once very creative very creative man
now
there's another example of something that probably started bad where some kid probably took a rock
and pinged two fucking chickens who were going to die anyway
and that's where it started some smart ass started to kill two birds with one stone
but now everyone just knows it means doing two things at the same time nobody thinks about animal
cruelty does anyone have you ever if you if i said to you uh man we kill two birds with one stone means doing two things at the same time. Nobody thinks about animal cruelty.
Does anyone, have you ever, if I said to you,
man, we kill two birds with one stone,
we do the pod and then we'll eat at the same time,
kill two birds with one stone.
Is there any iota of your brain going animal cruelty?
Yeah, I'm not thinking, I got to call Steve Irwin right now.
Yeah, no, it's just not.
All right, one more, Jesse.
Can you scroll up?
There was one more.
And then we got, oh, this is a good one.
White paper is now, are you kidding me?
This is a joke, right?
White paper is position paper.
White is racist.
What?
White is a color of the paper.
Yeah, I don't know about that.
Well, they do because they changed it.
You know what?
Wait a second.
White paper, are they talking about paper?
Are they talking about paper?
I think so.
So you can't describe a white piece of paper as white paper.
As a color. You can't describe the color that it paper as white paper. As a color.
You can't describe the color that it is.
Yeah, white paper is paper.
No, it's also used as a term for a government or other authoritative report giving information
or proposals on an issue.
So it's used in another way.
But who cares? You know what so call purple
paper i don't give a fuck yeah call that one purple paper they want black paper i don't give
a shit they have a suggestion they wanted to call it a position paper yeah which is so much better
oh man you could see how this could go endless right right? They go position. We got to get rid of position
because position is something that was created
in a hierarchical structure.
Right, of course.
They could just keep going.
Yeah.
Primary instead of master is bad
because it puts someone above someone else
and that goes back to a system in which there was a master.
And then you're right back to the first thing.
This is just, this is wild.
Just call it unseasoned paper, bro.
That's all you got to do.
I find it funny.
This is happening in California,
in a state where they're talking about
giving black people reparations.
It's just like, dude,
if you don't want to give us reparations
and give us these fucking terms,
just do that.
But if you don't want to give us reparations, just say so, you know? Wait, so like, yeah, I like, dude, if you don't want to give us reparations and give us these fucking terms, just do that. But if you don't want to give us reparations, just say so.
Wait, so like, yeah, I mean, listen, yeah.
Instead of a check, it's good that nobody can say master anymore.
Yeah, exactly.
So wait, is racism over now?
It's over.
It's over now when you can't say master?
Is it over?
So racism's over?
Yeah, every time I see a stack of loose-leaf paper, I think of my ancestors.
It's funny to think
that they think
that if they change this word,
it's just going to end it.
The funny thing is
nobody's thinking it.
When you go to a master bedroom,
I have not once ever thought
when someone said
this is the master bedroom,
I've never once thought
of a master of slavery.
Yeah, I never once.
My back did hurt
when I slept in a master bed,
but besides that. I've never once, did hurt when I slept in a master bed, but besides that.
I've never once,
when someone said someone was a chess master,
I never once thought about slavery.
Yeah.
Not once.
When someone said someone was a master at comedy,
I never once thought about slavery.
It's just the word master,
there's many meanings, you know?
You know?
Sometimes slave isn't even a bad thing, right? Some people like to get
whipped by a dominatrix, and they're the slave of the dominatrix. There you have it. Context is
everything. That's a dominatrix and her slave. But now the dominatrix has to call that her
natrix has to call that her willing subordinate but you guess what willing subordinate doesn't get that ceo hard the word slave does because slave is a degrading concept and that's what
he's paying for because believe it or not it's a word, and he is willingly paying to be her slave
because he likes it.
So who am I or you or anyone to say
that the word slave should go
when it gets this Japanese businessman's little dick hard?
Yeah.
And he likes it.
You know?
Nobody's safe word is equal pay.
Yeah.
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