Young and Profiting with Hala Taha - Benjamin Hardy: Willpower Sucks, Just Change Your Environment | E7

Episode Date: September 19, 2018

We think willpower sucks. It's just not enough to make good decisions and keep healthy habits in today's super distracting world. In Episode 7, Hala interviews Benjamin Hardy, organizational psychologist and author, on growing up and key topics from his impactful book "Willpower Doesn't Work." Ben explains how using willpower to force ourselves to behave in a certain way is a flawed strategy. He suggests the path to success is to create an enriched environment that promotes the behavior we want to take, and proactively remove destructive elements from our lives. Young and Profiting podcast is brought to you by audible. Get your FREE audiobook here: www.audibletrial.com/YAP Want to connect with other YAP listeners? Join the YAP Society on Slack: http://bit.ly/yapsociety Follow YAP on IG @youngandprofiting and Twitter @YAP_Podcast Reach out to Hala directly at [e-mail] Follow Hala on Linkedin: www.linkedin.com/in/htaha/ Follow Hala on Instagram: www.instagram.com/yapwithhala Check out our website to meet the team, view show notes and transcripts: www.youngandprofiting.com   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode of YAP is sponsored in part by Shopify. Shopify simplifies selling online and in-person so you can focus on successfully growing your business. Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at Shopify.com slash profiting. You're listening to YAP, Young and Profiting Podcast, a place where you can listen, learn, and grow. I'm Halataha and today's episode features Benjamin Hardy, organizational psychologist and the number one writer on medium.com, with appearances like Forbes, Fortune and CNBC under his belt.

Benjamin is the author of the best-selling book, Will Power Doesn't Work, which uncovers why using Will Power to force ourselves to behave in a certain way is a flawed strategy and how we can systematically remove the need for willpower to achieve our goals. Benjamin argues that creating an enriched environment to promote the behavior we want to take, rather than just depending on sheer willpower, is the key to achieving positive changes in our lives.

Welcome to the show, Benjamin. Thank you. Happy to be here. Just so you know Will Power doesn't work was one of my favorite books that I've listened to in a long time. I really like how it goes against the green of traditional thinking when it comes to self-improvement. So really excited to have you here. I'm glad you liked it. How'd you hear about it? Actually our producer Tim is a probably your number one fan. He's like obsessed with you. So we were going to the drawing board on the guests that we wanted to target.

And you were on the top of our list. And I learned about you from him. And your stuff is really great. And I really feel like you're probably one of the top rising self-improvement gurus out there. Well, I'm glad that some people like it, so that's cool. I'm glad you found it. Okay, so before we dive into all the gems of your research and work, I just wanted to

take some time to talk about you. I got a really inspiring, come-up story that I think will motivate our listeners. So what was it like growing up for you? How did you evolve to become the accomplished Benjamin Hardy that you are today? Yeah, so like a lot of people, I grew grew up in, you know, not the best situation. My parents got divorced when I was 11 and we just a really tough situation for my family. I am the oldest of three boys and my dad just went through a really deep depression and we were living with him primarily after the divorce.

We kind of were trying to go back and forth, but it was kind of weird. Yeah, my dad just went through a really deep cycle after the divorce, went through a deep depression and ended up getting into some really heavy drugs. The environment became very toxic as far as the people who were coming in and out of his house and just what was there. So eventually when I was like 14 or 15, me and my younger brothers moved full time to my mom's and she was just really busy. She was trying to run up a small business with her sister. And we just didn't really

have any stability. And in high school, high school is complicated enough as it is, you know, with just changing friend groups, all sorts of influences. And so I kind of just was very confused by the whole situation. Barely graduated high school, and it was about when I was 19 years old, about a year after high school, that I really started to kind of reflect on my life. I was living at my cousin's house, playing World of Warcraft, just super bored, had no ambition, and was just very sad.

And I started doing a little bit of running, just to kind of mix things up. My cousin invited me to go running with him. I had a different cousin than the one I was living with. I just started running a little bit here and there and didn't really change anything about my life. Just ran intermittently. Just like a few times a week, didn't really have a job.

Just still played video games almost all day. And it was while I was running that I started to allow myself to think about my life. And it's kind of interesting looking back now, kind of with the psychological understanding that positive behavior is really what shapes your thinking and your emotions. What a lot of people think is that you have to first have like thoughts, you know, like positive thoughts that lead to positive behaviors, but it's generally the opposite. It's usually positive behaviors that change your identity and change your psychology. So I was doing a positive behavior.

I was running, you know, even if it was just for like 30 minutes. And I was kind of away from all the noise of like my cousin's house, all the distractions, all the energy that's there and you just kind of an open free space where you can think. And the book will part as an work. I talk about places like that being what's called like a sacred environment. Basically, just somewhere where you can actually sit, be like think, meditate, ponder, pray. For me, that was running for a while. And just doing that for a while led me to deciding to leave where I grew up.

And I ended up serving a two-year humanitarian-style mission. And what was really interesting about the experience was, you get a name tag, you get this new name badge. And you're basically this new person. And you're totally doing different things than you did before in a different environment. And reading books, just serving other people, doing community service.

And it's almost like Peace Corps, in a sense. But I was doing that and just changing a lot. I ended up reading, and the book got into journaling, and just did a lot of things. One of the things that my leader in that experience told me after two years, as he said, Ben, the worst thing that could happen to you, after everything you've done, because I had read dozens of books, done all sorts of amazing community service and stuff, he said, the worst thing you could do is go back to the person you were before you came out here. And what was really interesting is I went back home and it was like palpable. Like I could feel the energy like all of my friends, my family, everything was pretty much the same

as when I left. And I could feel that like if I had stayed in that environment, I would quickly revert back. And so I ended up changing peer groups, continuing to study psychology, got married, and then we did a lot of other things. But that was kind of how it started. That was kind of the beginning of my journey. And then for the last 10 years, or about eight and a half years,

since I got home from that experience, just been studying, learning ever since, and taking on new challenges. Yeah, so why did you become interested in helping people achieve their goals and what motivated you to write your book, Will Power doesn't work? So the reason I got motivated to write this book is because I've studied psychology for a long time.

I've studied self improvement. I love it all. And basically, I thought that a lot of the things that were being written were a little overly simplified. I'm a huge believer in obviously having a positive attitude, having positive thoughts and things like that. But my experience being a foster parent and even studying psychology and even my own experience

kind of made me really think a little bit more like from a first principal's perspective, like where does the positive mindset come from? You know, for most people, it's not instinctive, it has to be trained. Like so for myself when we are foster parents and we've recently adopted these kids, we've had them for going on for years, but they came from a really bad environment. Obviously, because they had become foster kids, they didn't have access to a lot of opportunity

in their parents. We're very neglectful and on drugs. And so when we get these kids and we put them in our environment, they all of a sudden have to adapt to something totally different. You know, there's these two pretty highly educated people in a pretty affluent neighborhood who are super invested in them and who are giving them energy and attention, giving them good food, like wanting to get them extra-curricular activities like all of a sudden, you know, like you can imagine that I can't actually totally comprehend what that shift would be like for them, but I know it was like for me because we had never been parents before,

and all of a sudden we were dealing with challenges, problems, things like that that we had never had to deal with before. So, I wrote it for two reasons. I wrote it for one to say that a lot of people talk about willpower and discipline and are not bad ideas, but they're not really full pictures. Like my kids, for example, if they had stayed in their prior environment, you know, they might have had a lot of grit and willpower, but they just lacked

options. They didn't really have a lot of choice. And then when you put them in this new environment, all of a sudden, a whole new world is open up to them, where change becomes a lot more organic. It's kind of like, you know, fruits and vegetables. Like, you can't grow certain fruits and vegetables in bad terrain. You have to have the right soil, the right sunlight, things like that. So I started to think about, like, what about the circumstances that allowed growth to happen? And then I started studying addiction and things like that.

Because obviously, as you know, I had mentioned before in my past, there was a lot of addiction in my environment growing up. And you know, there's a lot of people in my world who are very close to me, who I love, who I've watched fail over and over when it comes to trying to overcome addiction. And if you really study addiction, you realize that you really can't overcome an addiction through willpower. It's the worst approach. It's trying to fight a silent battle.

It's trying to do it all by yourself. And the only way really out of an addiction, as they say, is through connection. It's through getting help with other people, through being vulnerable, through getting a supportive accountability-based environment. And so those are a lot of the reasons why I wrote the book was because I was sick of hearing people trying to grit their way to change when you really can't do it that way. You need an environment that supports you and you need an environment that helps you move forward.

Cool. Well, I really look forward to picking your brain on this. How about we start with some context to help our listeners understand what traditionally psychologists and scientists have said about willpower? Can you talk a little bit about that? Yeah, totally. Willpower traditionally, it is a muscle. It's viewed as something that the more you use it, the more it goes away.

Another definition of willpower is decision fatigue. Some people who have, there's lots of blog posts and things that were popularized for a while talking about Steve Jobs and Mark Zuckerberg. And the fact that they wear like the same clothes every day. They did that because of this concept of decision fatigue, which is basically willpower. And it's this idea that if you make too many decisions, it wears you down. And so people who have a lot of things to do, such as CEOs or entrepreneurs or people who are pursuing big goals, they don't want to wear their mind down with menial things, such as like whether they're going to wear that day. So they try to optimize or systemize as much of their life as possible to remove the decision making component so that they can use their mind to actually make bigger decisions.

So that's kind of like where the traditional perspective and I actually agree with it view of willpower is. You know in your book you state that willpower is nothing more than a dangerous fad that's bound to lead to failure or maybe it was a medium post. So in your opinion why does will power suck so much and why do you think people resort to using willpower to achieve their goals? So willpower sucks for a lot of reasons. First off, willpower is clearly unsustainable. It runs out. So if you're using willpower, it's for a short term thing. And so because of the fact that it's unsustainable, it clearly should not be a first approach.

There should be better ways of doing things. So I'm just going to give a few different angles on why Willpower is a bad perspective, but I'll start with the fact that just we live now in a very global world, we live in a world that's changing so fast, that Willpower is kind of like an old model, like because things are changing so fast, because we have so many options and choices now, our quote unquote decision fatigue wears out very fast.

Rather than trying to rely on willpower in this environment, it's a lot better to actually remove as many options as possible. And so there's a really good quote from Dr. Marshall Goldsmith, and he wrote the book Triggers. In the book, he said, if we do not create and control our environment,

our environment creates and controls us. And that's basically what's happened for most people in the world today. Most people are addicted to technology, to whether it be stimulants, like caffeine, huge rates, almost everyone drinks caffeine every single day, even though it's not necessary. Unhealthy food, technology work like there's just,

in general, and even things like depression, like all these things are on the rise, and it's because the state of our environment is just in a huge state of flux, you know everything's changing so fast and these things are benefits. I mean all the amazing options the fact that you and I can talk over the internet. It's amazing but the only way to like actually thrive in environments like this is to systematically remove most of the options that are mostly distractions. A very simple example is just if you don't want to subconsciously and out of habit dopamine seeking that your body is craving. Open up your cell phone and just mindlessly go through social media, just delete the app.

Basically, it's making one decision so that you don't have to think about it again. Like that's like the new model is make one decision rather than rely on willpower. So like make one decision to change your environment so that you don't have to be influenced in a negative way. That's one reason why willpower is like this. It's just it's just burned too fast. And it environments is stimulating as this.

Another reason that willpower is just kind of, you know, if you really like drill down and ask yourself, why does willpower exist in the first place? A lot of it's because you haven't actually made the decision. Like willpower in a lot of ways reflects internal conflict. You're not actually sure what you want. Like, I'll just give an example. I myself, you know, and I have no judgment

towards anyone who does this, but I don't drink alcohol. Like, it's just not interesting to me. And it literally takes zero willpower for me to not drink alcohol. It's not a part of who I am. It's not interesting to me. I don't have an environment that would even... Like, obviously, I'm around. People, I've got friends, family who drink, but I'm rarely in environments where it's there.

It's just not a part of my life. And it has zero interest to me. Therefore, it takes zero willpower. And I know that some people, obviously, there's certain things in my life that do require willpower because I haven't set things up and I haven't actually made firm decisions and commitments. But the actual Greek definition or root of the word decision is to cut off alternatives.

And so if a person is relying on willpower, it's because they actually haven't truly made a decision about what they want. They're still unclear. They're like, I kind of want to be in really good shape, but I also really want to eat ice cream every day. So they're torn between two things, and they're not really clear.

Once you actually make a decision and you're firm on that, then the other options go out the door. And then your job is to create the environment that facilitates that decision, the support, the help. So those are a few reasons why if you're relying on willpower, your environment is coming against you and also you yourself are not really clear on what's going on. Okay, so if I have this straight, if you require to use willpower, you really don't know what you want. And you know, because once you actually make a decision, your internal debate is over. Is that correct? Yeah, I mean, if you truly do make a decision, you know, absolutely.

Okay, so if Will Power doesn't work at all, what does work? And what do we need to do to bypass the need for Will Power and truly commit to something? Yeah, absolutely. I would say there's two core things you have to make decisions and you have to create environments that facilitate those decisions. So like as Marshall Goldsmith said, he said, you know, if you do not create and control your environment, then it will create and control you. So the first step, you know, is changing what's coming in. Zieg Ziegler, who's a famous pop psychologist in a lot of ways, motivational speaker, he said, your input shapes your outlook, and your outlook shapes your output. Basically, what he's saying is your input, the things that are coming in, the information you're consuming, the books you're reading, the people you're around, the food you're

eating, the music you're listening to, all those inputs coming in are influencing your outlook on the world and your behavior, and your outlook determines your behavior and your outputs. And so, I think that a really key just initial step for people is Mindfulness mindfulness is really an awareness of what's going on around you and how it impacts you so like Being mindful of the fact that you're being influenced by things by the stuff in your newsfeed by the people around you by your Upproaking you're being influenced And so then you have to ask yourself, like, is this really influencing me in the way that I want to?

I might be coming the person I want to be in my behaving is my environment reflective of who I really want to be. And if not, then you've got to start making different decisions and then changing those inputs to determine what you actually want to get out of life. And so true decision making, if it's true, like if it's a real decision, not just a preference. It means that you absolutely will change your external circumstances to make

that decision happen. So at the most basic level, I mean, and I can give you obviously a lot of strategies if you want. Happy to do it. There's lots in the book. But really, what it comes down to is making real decisions and then creating an environment that actually allows those decisions to be real, not just something that's in your head and not just something that you say you want to do. It's like, no, if you will do it, you have to actually go out in the world and make it happen. So let's talk about those strategies. One of them I found really interesting was making them public. Can you talk about social pressure and how announcing something and making it public

can help us commit to a goal? Yeah, totally. So in the book I talk about John Burke and he's a really good friend. He's a fun guy. He's a piano player in Atlanta, Georgia. And he's a super creative guy, 29 years old. He's pumped out lots of different albums. I think he's got like eight or nine albums that he's composed and recorded one of them was nominated for an Emmy.

But he uses social pressure a lot he actually has a really good system that kind of go through a lot of what I would call forcing functions or basically just strategic ways in which you can get yourself to do things. But. How he uses social pressure. Is whenever he creates a new album, he tells his fans that he's working on it and that it's going to be out on a specific date. He says that it really matters to him what his fans think about him. And so when he tells him that something's going to come out soon, that kind of puts the pressure on him to actually produce it. And he does that on purpose.

He publicly commit to his audience whether that be on social media or Facebook or through email or at concerts that he's got a new project coming out. And then it's going to be out and he tells them when it's going to be out, even though he hasn't completed it or finished it or maybe even started working on it. He does that so that it will actually force himself to do it in a lot of ways because now people are expecting it. I actually do that personally, too. Even with starting this podcast, I had announced it as a New Year's resolution.

I didn't even start yet, but just purposely to make sure that I had the fire underneath it to get it done. Yeah, the quote that is really good is just pressure can bust pipes or can make a diamond. But in my opinion, creating a little bit of social pressure just to get yourself to do what you really want to do internally anyways, why wouldn't you do it? It's something that you already want to do, so why not just add a little bit of motivational fire?

And how about investing up front and the importance of investing in your goals? Young and profitors, do you have a brilliant business idea but you don't know how to move forward with it? Going into debt for a four-year degree isn't the only path to success. Instead, learn everything you need to know about running a business for free

by listening to the Millionaire University podcast. The Millionaire University podcast is a show that's changing the game for aspiring entrepreneurs. Hosted by Justin and Tara Williams, it's the ultimate resource for those who want to run a successful business and graduate rich, not broke. Justin and Tara started from Square One, just like you and me. They faced lows and dug themselves out of huge debt. Now they're financially free and they're sharing their hard-earned lessons with all

of us. That's right, millionaire university will teach you everything you need to know about starting and growing a successful business. No degrees required. In each episode, you'll gain invaluable insights from seasoned entrepreneurs and mentors who truly understand what it takes to succeed. From topics like how to start a software business without creating your own software, to more broad discussions such as eight businesses you can start tomorrow to make 10K plus a month, this podcast has it all. So don't wait, now is the time to turn your business idea into a reality by listening to the Millionaire University podcast. New episodes drop Mondays and Thursdays. Find the Millionaire University podcast on Apple Spotify or wherever

you get your podcasts. Your dog is an important part of your family. Don't settle when it comes to their health. Make the switch to fresh food made with real ingredients that are backed by science with nom nom nom. Nom nom delivers fresh dog food that is personalized to your dog's individual needs. Each portion is tailored to ensure your dog gets the nutrition they need so you can watch them thrive. Nom nom's ingredients are cooked individually and then mixed together, because science tells us that every protein, carb, and veggie has different cooking times and methods. This

packs in all the vitamins and minerals your dog needs, so they truly get the most out of every single bite. And NOM NOM is completely free of additives, fillers, and mystery ingredients that contribute to bloating and low energy. Your dog deserves only the best, and Nom Nom delivers just that. Their nutrient packed recipes are crafted by bored certified veterinary nutritionists, made fresh and shipped to your door. Absolutely free. Nom Nom meals started just $2.40, and every meal is cooked in company-owned kitchens right here in the US, and they've already delivered over 40 million meals, inspiring clean bowls and wagging tails everywhere.

Ever since I started feeding my dog Nom Nom, he's been so much more energetic, and he's getting older, he's a senior dog, but now we've been going on longer walks, and he's much more playful. He used to be pretty sluggish and sleeping all the time, but I've definitely noticed a major improvement since I started feeding him nom nom. And the best part, they offer a money back guarantee. If your dog's tail isn't wagging within 30 days, they'll refund your first order. No fillers, no nonsense, just nom nom.

Go right now for 50% off your no risk 2 week trial at trinom.com.shap. That's trinom.nom.com.shap for 50% off trinom.com.shap. You hear that sound, young and profitors? You should know that sound by now. But in case you don't, that's the sound of another sale on Shopify. Shopify is the commerce platform that's revolutionizing millions of businesses worldwide. Whether you sell edgy t-shirts or offer an educational course like me, Shopify simplifies selling online and in person so you can focus on successfully growing your business. Shopify is packed with industry leading tools that are ready to ignite your growth, giving you complete control over your business and brand without having to learn any new skills

in design or code. And Shopify grows with you no matter how over your business and brand without having to learn any new skills in design or code. And Shopify grows with you no matter how big your business gets. Thanks to an endless list of integrations and third party apps, anything you can think of from on-demand printing to accounting to chatbots, Shopify has everything you need to revolutionize your business. If you're a regular listener,

you probably know that I use Shopify to sell my LinkedIn secrets masterclass. Setting up my Shopify store just took me a few days. I didn't have to worry about my website and how I was going to collect payments and how I was going to trigger abandoned cart emails and all these things that Shopify does for me with just the click of a button, even setting up my chat bot was just a click of a button. It was so easy to do. Like I said, just took a couple of days. And so it just allowed me to focus on my actual product

and making sure my LinkedIn masterclass was the best it could be. And I was able to focus on my marketing. So Shopify really, really helped me make sure that my masterclass was going to be a success right off the bat and enabled focus. And focus is everything when it comes to entrepreneurship. With Shopify single dashboard, I can manage my orders and my payments from anywhere in the world.

And like I said, it's one of my favorite things to do every day is check my Shopify dashboard. It is a rush of dopamine to see all those blinking lights around the world showing me where everybody is logging on on the site. I love it. I highly recommend it. Shopify is a platform that I use every single day and it can take your business to the next level. Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at Shopify.com slash profiting. Again, go to Shopify.com slash profiting all lowercase to take your business

to the next level today. Again, that Shopify.com Sush profiting Shopify.com Sush profiting all lower case. This is possibility powered by Shopify. Yeah, this is a huge one. This is like one of in my opinion, this brings the two worlds together as far as making decisions and changing your environment. Because investing financially into your goals, it changes your psychology. Like when you become invested in something, you have ownership over it. And when you have ownership over something, you become very committed to it. That's a concept called sunk cost bias.

And a lot of people look at it from the negative. They say, you know, if you're too invested in something, you're going to stay committed to it long after. You should. But for someone who has a hard time committing in general, or who, you know, has a hard time making decisions in the first place, starting to invest your money into something, let's just say, the podcast and not like buying a microphone or, you know, getting some form of mentoring or joining a gym and getting a personal trainer, like actually paying money and investing. It in a lot of ways solidifies the decision. And I spent a lot of time studying this in my PhD research.

I studied entrepreneurs and wannabe entrepreneurs, and I wanted to know the difference. And I interviewed a ton of them. These are people, the wannabees, for example, these are people who said they really wanted to be entrepreneurs, but they didn't define themselves as one. They didn't see themselves truly as an entrepreneur. Their identity hadn't gone through a shift. They were like, that's something I want to be, but that's not what I am.

They were still an outsider of what they wanted to be. Whereas, you know, actual people who were entrepreneurs, they saw that as their identity. And I asked, well, how did you make that shift? What was that transition? In the transition, almost always involved, some form of financial investment, where they started investing money

into their goals. They started actually taking on risk and then having to kind of rise to the risks that they created, you know, having to rise and produce and become. And they started behaving in ways towards that goal. And when you start behaving towards a goal, your identity starts to change. Because your personality and your identity, they follow your behavior. So when you start behaving in a certain way, you start to see yourself differently. That idea is called self-signalling in psychology, but basically, if you start acting in a different

way, you're going to start to see yourself in a different way. And so that was kind of the big shift. And you can apply this idea in amazing ways. When I first started blogging, it started really small. It started by, obviously, like buying a domain name, you know, Benjamin Hardy.com. That was an $800 investment in my wife. We had to actually ask ourselves, like, is this something I'm actually going to do or is this just some pipe dream, you know, or am I just, like am I actually going to do this or am I wasting

$800? And so I convinced her that, like, this is something I really want to do. And in the investment itself, I think in a lot of ways is what helped me maintain commitment. And then just investing further, buying an online course, learning how to write hiring coaches, people who had successfully written blogs, paying for 30 minutes at their time, maybe like $100 or $200, just to have a conversation. Those investments, although not huge, when you watch yourself perform those type of behaviors, you have these aha moments where you're like, wow, I'm actually doing this thing. Wow, this is actually, in your case, for example, at some point where you're like, wow, I'm actually doing this thing. Wow, like this is actually, you know,

in your case, for example, like at some point, you start telling people you're gonna do a podcast like now, you're actually witnessing yourself having a conversation, you've got a recorder, you know, you're putting stuff out. So it's really important to have those moments where you're actually watching yourself do things that are goal oriented.

And then, you know, you can stretch the idea really far where it's like, you know, there's certain environments that are very exclusive, you know, whether they be like mastermind groups, which I talk about in the book, you know, I talk about a group called Genius Network, which is one that I was very intrigued by when I first heard about it like four years ago, because my aunt, Jane, who is an awesome business owner, she joined Genius Network, which costs $25,000 a year to be a part of. It's a very exclusive entrepreneurial mastermind group run by Joe Polish. And what was interesting is, you know, she was freaked out, obviously, because $25,000 is an enormous investment for a one-year basically opportunity to be in a group.

But what I watched when I saw her, and this was back in 2014, I watched her make some huge shifts, and it was because of the type of people that she was around and the things that she was learning, and the fact that she had invested so huge into her own goals. I mean, when you invest that big into your dreams, you're pretty much telling yourself, like, that I'm worth it, that I really believe in it. Like, there's a really cool idea in psychology. It comes from Dr. David Hawkins. He wrote a book called Letting Go. But he basically said that your subconscious mind will only allow you to have what you believe you deserve. So like he said, if you believe you deserve poverty,

then that's what you're going to have. And so what's really cool when you make a big decision or like an investment in yourself, or even small investments in yourself is what you're doing is you're telling your subconscious mind that you deserve more is you're telling your subconscious mind that you deserve more. You're telling your subconscious mind that you can have more. So that's what I saw in my aunt is when she made this huge investment, then she was surrounded by these people who were succeeding at a level way higher than she was used to succeeding. You become the product of the five people you spend the most time with. I just saw her transform, and that had a huge impact on me like four years ago.

So I was like, I made the kind of initial commitment in my mind. I made the decision that I'm going to learn how to get into environments like that. I'm going to learn how to invest in myself that big and I'm going to learn how to be able to contribute in groups like that. That's what I've learned how to do on multiple levels. I can just definitely attest, you know, like, Dan Sullivan's the founder of Strategic Coach. And he said, when you sign a check, like,

a check like this where you join a group or when you invest in yourself in some way, all of a sudden you start to get all these big ideas. You start to learn new things, you know, because you've already made the commitment. And once you've made the commitment, the decision's already been made. And therefore, you don't have to think about or wonder about what you're going to do anymore.

I call it the point of no return. And at that level, all of a sudden, your motivation shifts. You're no longer pushing. You're no longer using willpower. You're actually being pulled forward. And all of a sudden, you just unblock the roadblocks. And all of a sudden, all the ideas and inspiration start coming and you start thinking bigger. And so, that's some of why investment is so key.

So let's focus on environment because I feel like that's really one of your big tenants in your book is to remove and alter anything in your environment that opposes your commitments. Can you talk about how we should do that and how we should kind of set limiting options to make sure that we accomplish our goals. Yeah, I mean, you got to be aware of what influence is you. Jason Parade, he's the founder of Basecamp, which is a multi-billion dollar company. He said that he really limits what influences him because he doesn't really want to be influenced by that much. So basically, what he's saying is, he realizes that most of the stuff out there is garbage. Greg McEwan in the book, the centralism said that almost everything is irrelevant.

And so I think first step is just realizing that almost everything in the world on the internet is a distraction. And so you want to limit all of that stuff. There's a really good book, good to great. And he says, good is the enemy of great. And so I think the first step is just removing bad options, removing even good options so that you can save time for the best. And you know, what does that look like? It includes food, you know, books, information. I mean, just actually raising your standards for what's actually in your

life. Like, rather than trying to exert willpower to not eat the crap in your fridge, like just get rid of it, you know, just like literally remove it. Make one decision so that you don't have to drag your feet and think about it all day. I mean, that's a big one. It's just removing negative influence or removing subpar influence.

That could include people who are dragging you down. It could include just information media decision, you know, even places, places that trigger you into, you know, reverting back to perhaps unhealthy behaviors. I mean, that's that's just like one-on-one is just Remove the negative and then being strategic About what's gonna happen when you're in an environment where you may be triggered, you know, so there's an idea in Psychology called implementation intentions. And basically what it is is, you want to pre-plan for the worst-case scenarios, because they're going

to come up. You want to have a plan in place so that when you get triggered to self-sabotage, you have a game plan. Basically, it's planning for failure. It's just, it's thinking about the process, but it's really easy. Actually, you just create if-thense scenarios. And you're very specific. It's like, if this happens, then I'm gonna do this. You know, in the book I talk about, I used to always, like, when I walked into my kitchen, just, I had a bad habit, just like craving sweet, you know,

and a lot of it was just, that was just how our environment was set up. That's where I was, and this was years ago, but what I did just using this strategy was whenever I walked in the kitchen and if I ever got triggered or just had the desire because when you walk into an environment, generally you're triggered subconsciously to want something or do something, you know, you feel a certain way based on the places you go. But every time I would walk in and if I had to thought like that I wanted to eat something sweet out of habit, I would just drop and do like 20 push ups.

So it's like if I walk into the kitchen and get triggered to do something, in this case eat a cookie or whatever, eat chocolate chips, then I'm going to do 20 push ups and grab a cup of water. Basically what this does is it trains you to eventually develop the new habit. Basically you create a new trigger. So that whenever I walk in the kitchen now rather than being triggered to eat chocolate chips, I'm triggered to drink water and do pushups. Like, you basically just shift the pattern

subconsciously. And it gives you enough time, especially in the beginning, to distract yourself. Because in a lot of ways, when you get triggered to do something, whether it's to check your smartphone, whether it's for some people who have heavy addictions to go get drunk or whatever. In a lot of ways, you just need a few minutes to distract yourself, to divert your attention

and focus on something else. Just for a few minutes and the craving will go away. That's why they talk in AA alcoholics anonymous about having a sponsor. So if you get triggered in a person having this intense craving, they call someone who just helps distract them and helps them think about something else, refocus on their goals. triggered in like a person's like having this intense craving, they call someone who just helps distract them and helps them think about something else, refocus on their goals, you can get good at that. So I mean, those are a couple strategies.

It seems relatively straightforward to remove things in our physical environment, but you mentioned distancing yourself from negative influences in terms of people. And you also mentioned you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. And in your book, you mentioned that the people your friends or friends with also impact you too. Can you talk about primary and secondary connections and how we should aim to optimize that part of our lives?

Yeah, the quote is very popular by Jim Rohn. You're the average of the five people you spend the most time with, which is true. But yeah, that would be considered primary connection. A secondary connection is who are your friends friends, because you may be influenced by your friends, but who are your friends influenced by? Because your friends aren't always with you, clearly, and they're being influenced by other people. You want to think about not only who are your friends, but where are your friends going? What are your friends being influenced by? What's cool about this is that you think about the idea that I think it's like, I think

they said, I'm not coming up with the word in my head. But the idea is that you're connected to everyone in the world through like seven degrees of connection. You know what I mean? But if you think about it, like there's certain people in your world who are connected to people who maybe you want to be connected to, right?

You may really wanna get in touch with someone. And this is actually really a strategy and business. If you wanna get to someone who's really hard to get access to, but they may have friends or someone who's not very hard to get access to, but they may have friends or someone who's not very hard to get access to. Well, how do you become friends with that person? And obviously, this is like a very strategic approach,

but in real simple terms, it's like, you want your friends to be powerful and to have a positive impact. And I think generally, there's a quote that basically says like attracts like, but generally, if you're around positive people, they're probably around positive people. But sometimes they're not.

Sometimes you're the only positive influence in their life, which, heck, that's amazing. So something else I just want to touch on is in your book, you mentioned creating environments that have a lot of high stress and high recovery. Can you talk about the difference between the two and why they're important? Yeah, definitely. So basically, in order to grow, to get good at something, like let's just say in fitness, for example, in order to get stronger, you have to have stress on yourself. To grow a muscle, you have to put a lot of stress on it, but where the actual growth

occurs is actually during recovery, while you're asleep. The same is true with your brain. You stress it out through learning or through some form of tasks, but then you actually need to let it recover. Like without sleep, for example, your brain, it doesn't process memories and things as well. And so the idea is just simple,

is that you need to really stress your system and you need to really recover your system. And the problem in today's world is that, that rarely happens. The situation hasn't been set up for such. So most people are not really, you know, on a regular basis, rising to really hard challenges and difficulties at work.

You know, like for the most part, they're not paid based on performance, they're paid based on just time and effort, you know. And so, because of that, there's a lot of room for being distracted. There's a lot of room for just doing this or that. There's not a lot of true intense stress. And I'm talking about like, you stress, which is positive stress, like it is. And even in people who go to the gym, even though they're in that environment, they haven't

situated themselves where they're actually pushing themselves and going farther and farther in a lot of ways, they're just repeating the routine that they did yesterday. And so, you know, the idea of recovery, like very few people truly allow themselves to recover. And recovery should be a daily thing, but it also should be a regular thing where you go a lot deeper into the recovery. So there's a lot of really good ideas around the concept of like sabbaticals. Nowadays where like there's a really good TED Talk about a guy.

And if you just like Google TED Talk sabbatical, you'd find it. But there's a really famous artist who lives in New York. And every seven years he leaves for an entire year, travels the world, doesn't work. He closes his studio and just totally bl the world, doesn't work, he closes his studio, and just totally blisses out, just travels and just relaxes, doesn't do any work. During that one year, he gets all of his best creative ideas, because he's actually in a state of relaxation, which is generally required for creativity. It's why people get creative ideas in the shower, or when they're on the commute, it's

like most good creative ideas happen in a state of recovery and relaxation. And so, you know, there's an idea in psychology called psychological detachment from work. And basically what it means is that if you don't turn off mentally, physically, spiritually, emotionally from work, you'll have a really hard time attaching the work when you get there. You won't be fully in a flow state, you won't be fully engaged because you're not really engaged anywhere else. And Dan Sullivan has a good quote, but basically it's wherever you are, that's where you should be. So the idea is, well, how do you set up environments? How do you set up situations so that you're under high pressure and actually growing and stretching? And then how do you set up environments where you can totally unplug and just be where you are and actually recover and just be present with your loved ones. I think

that that's kind of key is figuring out how to set those two things up. And in the book, I explain you know the flow triggers or the situational factors, but basically in order to have a high stress environment, there needs to be difficulty, meaning you're doing stuff that's above your skill level. You need to be doing new things, novelty. Like novelty and newness is really good for being engaged where you're at. Obviously, you need to eliminate distractions. Having a short timeline is really good.

Like obviously, if you have a short timeline, then you're probably more focused. And just like the more of these types of things you can create for yourself, being paid based on performance for example, rather than just time punch on the clock, like where your behavior actually matters. Like the more of those things you can do, like collaborating and working with other people.

And then just actually having hard boundaries, giving yourself boundaries and giving yourself and the other people in your life, the respect of totally unplugging, leaving your cell phone in your car or not bringing it home with you. Like actually just trusting that everything's going to be okay, the universe is going to be all right and when you get back, you can get back to work tomorrow and just leave it alone and go home and just be home and just engage with the other components of your life and actually have a life. And it's so good for creativity and so good for work. Something else I want to touch on is the different roles that people play. So in your book, you go into how based on the environment, you play different roles. Can you talk about that

and you can talk about how, if it's possible to redefine our roles in a certain environment that we have. So, obviously, we all play roles in the various situations, Orin. You know, you can go in one situation from sitting in class and being a student to going into a different class and being the teacher, or, you know, in my case, for example, especially as in my PhD program, I would go from sitting in class and being a student to going to home and being dad. Those are two different roles. In those roles, I operate differently.

Who you are in one situation is not who you are in a different situation because it's actually the relationship between things that is the reality. For example, the relationship between me and my teacher creates the roles and that relationship between us, it defines us. So in that situation, there's a relationship between us. I'm the student, he's the teacher. And so within that relationship, I have certain possibilities, opportunities, I behave in a certain way. I feel a certain way. And then when I go home, the context changes. And all of a sudden, the relationship between me and my child is that they see me as dad, and from that role, I then act in a different place. Yeah, bam.

If you're ready to take your business to New Heights, break due to the six or seven figure mark or learn from the world's most successful people, look no further because the Kelly Roach show has got you covered. Kelly Roach is a best-selling author, a top-ranked podcast host, and an extremely talented marketer. She's the owner of NotOne, but six thriving companies, and now she's ready to share her knowledge and experience with you on the Kelly Roach show. Kelly is an inspirational entrepreneur, and I highly respect her.

She's been a guest on YAP. She was a former social client. She's a podcast client. And I remember when she came on young and profiting and she talked about her conviction marketing framework, it was like mind blowing to me. I remember immediately implementing what she taught me in the interview in my company

and the marketing efforts that we were doing. And as a marketer, I really, really respect all Kelly has done, all Kelly has built. In the corporate world, Kelly secured seven promotions in just eight years, but she didn't just stop there. She was working in I to five. And at the same time, she built her eight figure company as a side hustle and eventually took it and made it her full time hustle. And her strategic business goals led her to win the prestigious Inc 500 award for the fastest growing business in the United States. She's built an empire, she's earned a life-changing wealth. And on top of all that, she maintains a happy marriage and a healthy home life. On the Kelly Road Show, you'll learn that it's possible to have it all.

Tune into the Kelly Road Show as she unveils her secrets for growing your business. It doesn't matter if you're just starting out in your career or if you're already a seasoned entrepreneur. In each episode, Kelly shares the truth about what it takes to create rapid, exponential growth. Unlock your potential, unleash your success, and start living your dream life today. Tune into the Kelly Road Show, available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts.

Hey, yaap fam! As you may know, I've been a full-time entrepreneur for three years now. Yet media blew up so fast, it was really hard to keep everything under control, but things have settled a bit, and I'm really focused on revamping and improving our company culture. I have 16 employees, so it's a lot of people to try to rally and motivate, and I recently had best-selling author Kim Scott on the show. And after previewing her content in our conversation, I just knew I had to take her class on master class,

tackle the hard conversations with Radical Cander to really absorb all she has to offer. And now I'm using her Radical Cander method every day with my team to give in solicit feedback, to cultivate a more inclusive culture, and to empower them with my honesty. And I can see my team feeling more motivated and energized already. They are really receptive to this framework and I'm so happy because I really needed this

class. With Masterclass, you can learn from the best to become your best, anytime, anywhere, and at your own pace. And we all know that profiting in life doesn't just mean thriving in business. With Masterclass, you can brush up on your art skills or your cooking skills or even your modeling skills with over 180 classes from a range of world class instructors. That thing you've always wanted to do better is just a few clicks away. On masterclass, you'll find courses from many app all-star guests like Chris Voss and Daniel

Pink. I've been taking their sales and negotiation classes and I've been feeling like a real shark lately. I've totally leveled up my sales skills. How much would it cost you to take a one-on-one class from the world's best? A lot. But with Masterclass annual memberships, it just cost you $10 a month. I have to say the most surprising thing about masterclass since I started this incredible journey on the platform is the value for the quality of classes instructors. The platform itself is beautiful. The videos are on the go. That way, I can multitask while I learn. Get unlimited access to every class and right now, as the app listener, you can get 15% off when you go to masterclass.com-profiting. That's masterclass.com-profiting for 15% off an annual

membership. Masterclass.com-profiting.'s really cool though, to realize is that in a lot of ways, most people are very reactive about the roles that they're in. They're not proactive about choosing their roles in life. So some people are like a victim to the situations they've been in. They don't proactively decide what role they will play. And I think when you start to really learn that you have a lot more creative control over your life, you get to design the roles that you're in. It's just like acting and improv. You get to decide what role do I actually want to play in the situation is the role that I've been in, in fact, or has it been limiting?

And you can start to design the roles that you're in. I think it's very freeing to realize, like if you've been acting a certain way, it's not because that's who you are, it's because you've been assuming a role, and you can change that role. You don't have to define, you know, in a lot of ways, the role is a story that you've told yourself about the situation,

and you don't have to live in that role, you can change the role. And when you do, you can act in a different way, you know, you've got a lot more freedom to act if you decide you wanna play a different part in the situation.. You've got a lot more freedom to act if you decide you want to play a different part in the situation. It's just taking a lot more control and responsibility over your life. So moving on to other gems that you put out there in the world.

Something really popular you have is a morning ritual and getting into peak state. Can you describe that to our listeners? Yeah, absolutely. So basically the idea is really simple. First thing in the morning, you don't want to be distracted and reactive to the addictions and the environment, such as smartphones and things like that. You actually want to give yourself space to think about what you want to do that day, who you want to be, what you want to do, a big picture and long term.

So, most people their day is a repeat of the past. They wake up, they get caught into their subconscious loops, whether that be through smartphones or through just the food state or through their schedule and their routine, and they just, they live a pretty predictable life. But if you want to create a life from your future rather than from your past, you have to give yourself the space to actually think about that. And so that's, I think, in my opinion, the core reason for having a morning routine. Obviously, in the morning routine, you can actually start behaving towards that future as well. And then you can start creating it.

You can also do things like fitness and do those things which are more important than urgent. But the idea of getting yourself into a peak state is really connected to this idea and self-improvement called B, then do, then have. And basically what it means is that in order to have something, you have to first B that thing. You have to B, and then you have to do, and then you have to act. And so you want to give yourself space.

And in the book, I talk a lot about journaling. You know, obviously there's a lot written to the idea of writing down your goals. But writing down your goals and visualizing them has to also include really truly experiencing the emotion of what it would be like and feel like to have achieved those goals. Like that's what true being feels like you actually want to assume is a really good quote from I forget his last name, Neville, something. And that might even be his last name. But he said, assume the feeling of your wish fulfilled. Basically, you want to ponder, meditate, write about what you're trying to accomplish, and

you want to feel gratitude, feel powerful emotions about what it would actually be like to have that, and then believe it it and what's cool is that your brain you know doesn't actually know the difference between true experience versus visualized and emotional imagination Albert Einstein Said that imagination is more important than knowledge. It's far more powerful than knowledge And it can stimulate your brain the same way and so when you give yourself space in the morning to write about your goals You know and you can obviously work out and you put yourself into the emotional place of the future you want to create. Then you act from that future. You be, and then you do. You start acting from the future you want

to have versus acting the same way you did yesterday. That creates what I would call peak state because you're in this flow where you're living intentionally and you're living on purpose. And it just, it feels a lot better than just doing what you're doing because that's how things have been done. And obviously, there's a lot of, a lot that comes with acting with intention. Like, when you start acting in new ways, it can create a lot of uncertainty because when you act in new ways, it's slightly unpredictable. You know, there's a reason why people act the same way in new ways, it's slightly unpredictable.

There's a reason why people act the same way every day is because it's predictable. And they like their lives to be predictable. Our brains seek prediction. But when you do something new, you've stepped out of those boundaries. You've stepped out of the realm of, oh, I know exactly how this is going to turn out.

And it feels different. But what that feeling is, even though it's uncertainties, is that it's actually being alive. It's actually doing something new, like you did when you were a kid, where you didn't actually know exactly what would happen, but you were okay with that. And that is really good for the brain, and it's really good for the body, and it's just a great way to live. And it's better to live that way with intention, even though you don't exactly know how it's going to turn out, than being reactive and just doing the same thing you did before.

Before we go, what is one thing you would recommend a Millennial change after listening to this show? If you had one thing to recommend a Millennial to change? I would say, probably take a hard look at what's going on around you, and if it really matches with the person you kind of see yourself as or see yourself wanting to be and then just owning the fact that your environment is a vehicle and it's taking you a direction and that includes the friends you have, the people you listen to, the things you put in your body, those things are a vehicle taking you somewhere. And willpower is not going

to work in that situation because the environment is just stronger than you. You're in the environment. It's like you're inside the jar. And so rather than trying to fight against a jar, you know, change it. And you can deploy a lot of the strategies we talked about in this book, making decisions, changing to having more positive influence, investing in yourself, seeking mentorship. So I would just say hyper awareness of what's going on around you and the fact that it's taking you somewhere. And then if you want to do something about it, making strong, powerful decisions. And where can we find more about you and everything that you do?

Yeah, just Benjamin Hardy.com. You can Google Benjamin Hardy. Yeah, BenjaminHurry.com has, you know, all my top articles, my favorite quotes, some of the online courses I provide. So. Awesome. Ben, this was so awesome and helpful. I feel like we've got so much good content to put out to our listeners. So thank you so much for joining us today. Absolutely. It's fun. So you heard it,. We'll power sucks. It's just not enough. You've got to change your environment to change your life.

So think about all the changes you need to make. Think about the things or people you need to remove from your life. That will stop the negative temptations or habits that you have. Think about the positive influences you will insert in your life. The environment, things or people that will push you to the next level. Whether that's stacking your fridge with healthy foods, signing up for that gym class you are always afraid to take. Switching careers to something more challenging that you're not entirely ready for, or taking

on commitments that will force you to make more money and live up to that life you've always dreamed of. You will adapt to the environment you put yourself in. So sometimes, to take that next step in life, you've just got to run to the fire and push yourself to do better. And remember, invest in your goals and make them public because then you've added that extra layer of commitment to help support and sure you follow through. Thanks for listening to Young and Profiting Podcast. Follow Yapp on Instagram at Young and Profiting and check us out at Young and Profiting.com. Kudos to our fabulous producers Timothy Tan and Daniel McFatter.

And much thanks to the entire Yapp team, aka Kayla, Baba, and John Sparks. And please, if you enjoyed the show, write a review, and tell us how you liked it. And don't forget to subscribe on the app on your favorite platform to always keep up. It's truly a pleasure being your host. And lately I've gotten a lot of positive feedback on the show, and things are really gaining traction.

And I just want to put it out there that I'm really thankful to have the resources and the opportunity to be able to do those. Thanks for listening. This is Hala, signing off. Are you looking for ways to be happier, healthier, more productive, and more creative? I'm Gretchen Ruben, the number one best-selling author of the Happiness Project. And every week, we share ideas and practical solutions on the happier with Gretchen Ruben podcast.

My co-host and Happiness Guinea Pig is my sister Elizabeth Kraft. That's me Elizabeth Kraft, TV writer and producer in Hollywood. Join us as we explore fresh insights from cutting-edge science, ancient wisdom, pop culture, and our own experiences about cultivating happiness and good habits. Every week we offer a try this at home tip you can use to boost your happiness without spending a lot of time energy or money. Suggestions such as follow the one minute rule. Choose a one word theme for the year or design your summer. We also feature segments like know

yourself better where we discuss questions like are you an over buyer or an under buyer, morning person or night person, abundance lever or simplicity lover. And every episode includes a happiness hack, a quick easy shortcut to more happy. Listen and follow the podcast, Happier with Gretchen Rubin. Can I get a woo-woo-woo? I'm Lacey Green and I'm a super trainer at Body. That's B-O-D-I dot com. And you know what's missing from the entire fitness industry? A program for beginners only. Not anymore.

I've created a program called For Beginners Only, and it is for everybody and everybody. It's a three week program only on body. The world's first health esteem platform. That means it's a place for you to work on loving who you are right now, as you work on who you are becoming. I'll ease you into exercise with low impact cardio, strength, core and mobility workouts that will help you feel great as soon as you work on who you are becoming. I'll ease you into exercise with low impact cardio, strength, core, and mobility workouts that will help you feel great as soon as you get started.

I'll help you build your foundation and show you how simple it can be to make a change just by showing up. It's for beginners only because I want you to know you can do it and I want you to get results. Let's find a joy and drop the judgment. And woo, woo, now you can try four beginners only with your free trial of body. So there's no reason not to get started. Go to body.com today. That's body with an i.com.