Young and Profiting with Hala Taha - Dolores Hirschmann: Master Public Speaking | E77

Episode Date: August 19, 2020

Are you ready to level up your public speaking skills? On today's show we are chatting with Dolores Hirschmann an internationally recognized strategist, Clarity coach, TEDx Organizer, Speaker & Author. She has over 20 years experience helping entrepreneurs, companies & organizations realize their potential — by guiding them to CLARITY — to define their CORE IDEA, message and market strategy needed to reach their next level of growth. As a speaking coach, Dolores guides speakers to go from successful professionals to thought leaders in their field. She is also a TEDx Organizer, and has authored two books that focus on effective communication ‘Stand Out The TED Way’ and ‘18 Minutes of Impact.” In this episode we’ll uncover the difference between what you do and what you stand for, we’ll get her insight on how to better gain clarity in your life and we’ll learn key tips for nailing your next speaking engagement.   Follow YAP on IG: www.instagram.com/youngandprofiting Reach out to Hala directly at [e-mail] Follow Hala on Linkedin: www.linkedin.com/in/htaha/ Follow Hala on Instagram: www.instagram.com/yapwithhala Check out our website to meet the team, view show notes and transcripts: www.youngandprofiting.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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because you'll love it here at Young & Profiting Podcast. Today on the show, we're chatting with Dolores Hirschman, an internationally recognized strategist, clarity coach, TEDx organizer, speaker, and Author. She is over 20 years of experience helping entrepreneurs, companies, and organizations realize their potential by guiding them to clarity, helping them to define their core idea, message, and market strategy needed to reach the next level of growth.

As a Speaker Coach, Dolores guide speakers to go from successful professionals to thought leaders in their field. She's a Tetics Organizer and has authored two books on effective communication. Stand out the TED way and 18 minutes of impact. In this episode, we'll uncover the difference between what you do and what you stand for. We'll get Dolores's insight on how to gain better clarity in your life and we'll learn key tips for nailing your next speaking engagement.

Hey Dolores, welcome to Young and Profiting Podcasts and so glad to have you on. Thank you so much for having me today. So for those out there who don't know much about you, could you just introduce yourself to our listeners and share a bit about yourself and what you do? Absolutely, so I am a clarity coach. What does that mean? I help people clarify their idea worth sharing, the message that will have an impact in the world and clarify the way to scale their business.

Awesome. And so, for my understanding, you work with speakers, entrepreneurs, authors, and executives, and you really clarify or help to clarify their message. Based on our research, I learned that you really found this true purpose and this expertise in terms of clarity and providing clarity to others in life when you immigrated to the US. You were just 25 years old, you were newly wed,

and some of those personal experiences and things that you went through helped you realize that providing clarity is really your true calling in life. Could you unpack that for us and share that story with us and how you came to be such an expert? Absolutely. So I'm originally from Argentina, that's where my accent is. Spanish is my first language. And yes, I came to the US and married my husband who's American at the age of 25.

And I, you know, immediately we didn't live in a city. So I couldn't have access to like the traditional corporate job. I have a background in business. And I soon became a mom by the age of 27. So it was kind of a mix of what can I do while I'm a mom? And I did what most of us will do is like, what's in front of me? And so did what most of us will do is, what's in front of me?

And so I took different jobs. And in the trajectory of becoming a mom of four, working for an on profit, and studying my own businesses, at the age of 38, I was like, what am I all about? Like I was, I was confused. And I went back to school, I started coaching. And studying coaching gave me kind of the tools to start unpacking myself in some ways. And to start finding clarity in my journey because I think that it comes out a moment in our lives where we look back, especially if you are creative or you don't have a traditional

career path, that you look back and you're like, what am I all about? I've done this, I've done that, but that doesn't make sense. And when I was doing that process of exploration and launching my coaching business, I realized that in one way or another, whether I was five years old, because I asked my mom and my siblings, or at the age of 30 or 40 in my different jobs, I was always playing a role of pulling pieces apart to understand the whole so that I could build a new version of whatever it was. And so I decided to apply this to a place where I've always found a lot of ease

and satisfaction, which is speaking, messaging, and entrepreneurship as a whole. So today I really work with service entrepreneurs, many of which feel like they are one more of a many, one more coach, one more accountant, one more consultant. And I help them understand how they are unique, how to communicate that uniqueness, and stand out, and grow their business based on that.

Yeah, that's really cool. And it reminds me of something that I talked to a lot of my guests about, which is a lot of young people, they feel like they don't know how to discover their talents. It's always right under their nose. For example, you may be really good at designing a room

or setting up a room really nicely, and it's a talent that you have and everybody knows it, but you internally haven't realized that you're supposed to be an interior designer, or whatever the example might be. And so for you, it was this clarity, people said that you're really good at finding clarity and helping to distill down to the really meaningful parts,

and then you've based a whole business around that. So that's really cool. Yeah, and how that came about, because you get to almost the last mile, and as you say, the last mile of clarity is under your nose, you cannot see it. And so when I was 40 and launching my coaching business after I had become a coach, I was doing great, I loved it,

but I felt there was something missing. Like I felt like there was a piece that I was missing something. So I asked myself, what would I do all day for free? And the answer to that was I would hang out with people with really big ideas. And back then, I had already been a TEDx organizer. And in doing so as a volunteer, I realized how much I enjoyed and that I did have kind of a skill set to help our speakers that were putting on stage distilled their message to their true essence

so they could build their talks from the idea out, instead of from the story in. Yeah, and that's another important point that you just mentioned, the fact that you were willing to, you volunteered, you did it for free, and that's another important point that you just mentioned, the fact that you were willing to, you volunteered, you did it for free, and that experience led you to realize that, hey, I can actually, you know, make a living and love doing this for a living. And I think that's super important. A lot of people think I'm too good to intern or too good to work for free.

I personally interned for free for three years at a radio station and that's how I fell in love with radio. So I think it's very important to get those experiences and find out what you're good at and what you like to do. Yes, and there's nothing that brings clarity more than action. True. So let's get more of an insight in terms of your perspective on clarity. I was listening to a couple of interviews that you were on and you described in one interview that clarity is like an onion. So when I think of clarity, I really think of like one thing, you're like laser focus on one thing,

but I guess that's not your understanding. Can you tell us more about this onion representation? Yes, and so it goes along with action is that we can only take action on what we are have some level of clarity right now. And as we take that action, it will be revealed the next layer of clarity. You know, some people, especially young people, I have a daughter who's 19 who's like, oh, mama, I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do. And I said to her, like, what is it that excites you right now?

You might not define what you're going to be doing at the age of 40 by taking action on that, that you do have care right now, then you're going to be peeling one layer of the onion all the way that you get to the essence of your work. I mean, it's OK if it takes you a few years to find your thing. I feel like right now, I mean, I really good pace. I love what I do, but I know that I'm not even close to being done.

I mean, I am loving what I do, and I know that this work will reveal another layer of me that when I get there, I will have clarity what that is. I don't know what it is right now. So it's more important to just have clarity like in the moment rather than trying to think about the future, it's more about like, what do you feel is right right now and take action upon that? That's kind of your viewpoint about it?

Exactly, except that of course, you have to have a through line that it's kind of tie with maybe a big, big dream. And so it's not completely random. But it is about getting to the dream space takes a lot of layers of accomplishment that might, you might don't know how you're going to, I don't know, make that million dollar or whatever business, but you might know what to do right now that will be conducive to that bigger dream. So the bigger dream is still there, and it is a through line, but the clarity of what to do right now

can only be within the context of your reality right now. Why do you think that people have such a hard time having clarity? They're looking for absolute certainty and clarity. Like right now, we're in kind of strange times. And people are asking like, well, I need to know. I need to know how my kids are going to go back to school. Am I going to go back to work?

And there's no answers. And I think for a while, the first few months of this pandemic, we were all kind of frozen because we're rather not take action because we don't know. But now I think you're starting to see a shift where people are saying, okay, I need you take some action, you need to make some plan, I need to budget something, make decisions,

even though I have no answers or the government has no answers. It's almost like when you are driving at night, you drive a car at six miles per hour, and the only thing you can see is what your headlights will show you. And you don't know this, I wrote you, there's an experience of there being a road in the

past, and you typically don't slow down, you don't even think about it, you just drive. We don't do the same with life. We sometimes, if we only see as far as our headlights, if we only see as far as the next year or the next month, we tend to feel that's not safe, so we rather lean back and not move forward, not take action. Yeah. So we at Young and Profiting Podcast, like we're like all about actionable steps in order to improve ourselves. We're all about action, right?

So let's just take me for an example. I'll give you a scenario and maybe you can give me some advice on how I can get more clarity. So for me, like, opportunity is a bound. This podcast is really blowing up. I started it two years ago. It was a small hobby. You know, now I have thousands of listeners.

We're number one how to podcast. I've got a huge following on LinkedIn, one of the biggest influencers on there. Now all of a sudden, all of these opportunities are coming my way. I work full-time at Disney streaming services, and I'm being internally recruited for another position that's really interesting.

On top of that, I'm starting a marketing agency, and without trying, it's like specifically for podcasters, I've got all these big podcasters that want my services, like without even really trying and I'm scaling my team and trying to figure out how I can accommodate those podcasters and launch those services. And so I've got all these options, but I obviously can't do, I'm not super woman, I'm trying my best to be, but you know, it's just a lot, and I'm like, you know, starting to feel like I'm going to burn out if I don't choose not to do something, right? How can I be clear on which thing I should like go up? What kind of lifestyle do you want to have? It's a nice one now. Definitely money as a driver. That's not the only driver,

but it's like, I work really hard, and so I wanna be very successful and compensated for what I do. I also wanna be able to have a voice and be able to help people and provide self-improvement. So I know for a fact, I don't wanna get rid of the podcast, I know that. It's more of balancing this corporate job

or becoming an entrepreneur. That's where I feel like I'm just like at a crossroads. Yeah. So I think it's important for you to clarify what does that look like in 10 years and just make a list. Like what does your ideal day look like? Does it give me a Tuesday, 10 years from now? And what are you having for breakfast? Where are you having breakfast?

Like I want you to like write it down as a word journal on present tense. That's going to give you a lot of insight of what you're working to work. Kind of what I said, you kind of need a through line dream and then you'll be able to get clear of what needs to happen next. And then you need to kind of make a list of what is the position. So if we're speaking honestly, your dream, I'm assuming, will be to be an independent, financially abundant entrepreneur that has an impact and a voice with a platform. Yeah, that sounds perfect.

And so the question there is, what are the levers? What are the tools that you could use to get there, get there faster in the least effort? Why not? And so as far as your corporate career, you want to look at it at how much value can I add to this corporate career?

Well, they keep on adding value. You have a great brand behind you. This is a great brand. So how far can you add value to them? Well they are add value to you as a personality, as a personal brand, right? And when is the limit where that's not going to add anymore? In economic is the diminishing return, right? When we are hungry, when we are thirsty,

the first drop of water is huge, and then it's gonna be a diminishing return, we will stop being thirsty. So when is it that your corporate path will stop adding value to your personal brand? Oh wow, that's really interesting. I'm being very honest and strategic here, in that you want to be partnering with a brand and give it your best,

because they will position you just by their association. Yeah. And then there's a moment where there's not going to be a lot more return on that investment of time. And you will be ready to move on. Yeah, I think you make a great point. Here's one thing I want to make sure that you understand and is that because I run businesses, I've sold businesses and the truth is there's two parts to you scaling to the level that you want in financial abundance and is understanding business in such a way that you are

extraneous to you making a lot of money. Yeah. So because you eventually want to manage a very profitable set of businesses that don't depend on you showing up on a podcast every day. Totally. And it might be premature to have that conversation, but when you can start creating a brand that

is bigger than you, and that you can have as systems and that team that can run, for example, your podcast, your marketing agency part, you should be able to run that almost without you. And that's all about systems. That's what I just did when I sold my business, one of my businesses. Young and Profiters, do you have a brilliant business idea but you don't know how to move forward with it? Going into debt for a four-year degree

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to make 10K plus a month, this podcast has it all. So don't wait, now is the time to turn your business idea into a reality by listening to the Millionaire University podcast. New episodes drop Mondays and Thursdays. Find the Millionaire University podcast on Apple Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts. Yeah, it's so true. That's the most important part. And that's the hardest part. It's just to get systems in place where you're not the only reviewer and approver and need to be involved in every

single decision. That's how things become really stressful, really fast. Yeah, yeah. I mean, that's one of the things that we do. So right now, when I share that I help people clarify the message, the truth is, master's clarity, I own, I mean, most of my time is spent on outside facing conversations with podcasts and stages. 90% of the work is done by my team. Wow. Because I have systems. And we now are doing systems for a client, so they can double the size of their businesses without them using more of their time. That's one of the things that we're doing right now. That's very cool. So let's get back to

clarity. One thing that one of my researchers brought up to me when we were talking about you, Shiv was telling me, what about if like you're just too attached to your clarity and you run the risk of overfitting and your outcome that you want is so clear when you need to pivot or when an opportunity comes your way, you actually don't see it because you're just too clear on your end goal. How can we have clarity but be nimble enough to pivot when we need to? Yes, so that's the difference between talking about what you do and talking about what you stand for. So when you're anchored in what you stand for, it's much easier to pivot than focusing on this is what I do. For example, if I were to say, I'm a speaker,

I only speak on live stages because I like to shake hands. That's great. I have so much clarity that's all I do. Come, COVID, you're screwed, right? And so is it about speaking on stages and shaking people's hands or is it about helping people, I don't know, shift their mindsets so they can have a bigger life? So understanding the difference between what you do and what is the idea behind your

work is where we'll let you shift how you do it when something happens. Is the doing that doesn't change, that is harder to change, but if you're clear on what is the ultimate outcome and the ultimate outcome is usually less tangible, then you will find another path to achieve that outcome. Does that make sense? Yeah, so it's not necessarily what you're doing in the moment, it's the underlying purpose of it all. Yeah, so let's think about a company like Amazon. I mean, I remember when Amazon started,

because it was 1997, because I had been already working on digital spaces. And in 1997, I know you were a baby, was 1997, because I had been already working on digital spaces. And in 1997, I know you were a baby. In 1997, what they did at that time was they were a bookstore. They were the place where you would find books that were hard to find. But the proprietary system, or the main patent, was about EC payment online, which back then was very cumbersome. And they found something called one click pay.

So you think of Amazon, you really think about buying something really easily. They don't care what they sell. Right now they'll sell you a cow like this. Yeah. They will sell you anything on Amazon because what their proprietary system is is the ease of buying something online. And so they've changed stuff, but the core state. Yeah, I think that's really interesting. The other thing I want to talk about is the law of attraction related to clarity.

And so there's this quote by a famous novelist, his name is Paulo Quailo. He's from Brazil, which is, you probably know of him. And he says, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it. And so when it comes to clarity, do you believe in when it comes to like a phenomenon with law of attraction and like metaphysical views and things like that. Do you have any any perspective on that? Absolutely. We cannot accomplish what we don't know we want or know what it looks like. You've heard about vision boards or mental rehearsing with practice by athletes a lot. I remember when I was preparing for one of my TEDx events, I was really clear of the experience I wanted to have.

I even had the dress I wanted to wear in my head. And I hadn't found it. But I just, it was so clear to me in my imagination what that day would feel like and what it would look like. To the point that the dress I was thinking imagination, what that day would feel like and what it would look like. To the point that the dress I was thinking to show up on my feet and I bought it and it was perfect and it worked. And so, absolutely, is that when we know what we want, we can start leaning back and

allowing it to show up and follow the signs. It's a confusion that generates that mixed or confused vibration and energetic vibration, and it rejects that that we want. Yeah, it's like basically allowing like your subconscious to allow you to make decisions without even realizing it that brings you closer to your goals.

I feel like that's the power in the law of attraction. When you know exactly what you want, you say it out loud, you repeat it all the time, you really believe it, you feel like you already have it. And then I feel like the world really opens up. That's what I've based on my experiences. Anytime I really believe that something is gonna happen, the universe kind of just opens up

and allows things to happen and brings opportunity in. Absolutely, and you become, there's a great book from Dana Wilde called Train Your Brain, and to talk about something called unconscious ignorance. And it's this concept that when we don't know what we want, and you don't even know that it's possible, even if that thing was in front of you, you wouldn't recognize it. Because your brain is not trained to look for it. But when we're clear what we want, we start looking for hints or ways to get there. And so we won't miss the signs

that will point us in the right direction. That's really cool. I've never heard of that. It's called unconscious ignorance. That's really cool. I've never heard of that. It's called unconscious ignorance. Yes, very cool. Train the brain is the name of the book and Dana Wilde is the author. Very cool. Maybe I'll try to get her on the podcast. Oh, I can do an email intro.

Oh, that'd be awesome. Okay, so let's move on to your expertise around preparing for public speaking engagements like TED Talks. You're the author of 18 Minutes of Impact, Move Your Audience to Action the Ted Way. What was your motivation to rate that? So after volunteering that I was sharing, I recognized a couple things. I recognized that even season speakers struggled with effective communication. And I also recognize that audiences were hungry

for clear crisp ideas, not long conversations that left them confused. And so I decided to use everything I learned, coaching tech speakers, and put it in a book to teach anybody who is addressing audiences for any purposes in any stages to help them kind of organize their thoughts in a cohesive way by sharing my seven steps to write your talk process that really works in meeting the audience where

you they are and take them on a journey introducing the topic that you are expert on. Yeah, and so I'm going to dig deep into all the different things that you talk about in this book. One of the big points is that people need to know what their idea is and know how to explain that idea in a short and concise way. First of all, why is it so difficult for people to kind of boil down what they want to talk about in a concise way. And how does that hold them back from having a good speaking engagement? Yeah, so let me give you a very specific example that probably you and your listeners have all experienced it because it's not that hard. You go to a networking event and someone says, what do you do? And you proceed to explain exactly what you do

to the detail of how you do it, right? Well, I work with people twice a week and I coach them on XYZ and then they go on my own program, which I love to, blah, blah, blah. People get glaci eyes, they don't listen to you and they can't have like shut down. But when you, someone says, what do you do? And you say, I help people move from point A to point B and then you close your mouth and and you let it sink in,

and let them get curious and ask for more. Now, you hope them, and now you're in a conversation. So that's a sinness and clarity that is focused on exactly what problem you solve is what people are looking to hear. Because I believe that we are humans and that we are walking around the world with these antennas in our head and those antennas are attuned to anything that we are suffering from.

Let's say, you know how you, I've never heard or have you ever had a girlfriend or someone who's pregnant and all of a sudden, like see everybody is pregnant. And they are just like attuned to anything baby related. Or a couple of years ago, we got a puppy and the puppy was like, oh my god, it was a mess. And so all of a sudden, if there was a post or some comments or something on puppy training, my antenna would go up and I would click on it, right? So it's kind of like the same thing that we're just talking about in the unconscious ignorance is just you want to communicate in a way that you can match the antennas if the antennas are tuned to how you solve the problem or what problem you solve

more to the point. And so most people don't do that. Most people focus on all of the work, like people would say, well, I've developed them at proprietary methodology that just XYZ. It doesn't matter that you develop a proprietary methodology. It doesn't matter later when I'm curious about it, but just tell me exactly what problem you solve in the world. And let me get curious and ask you more questions. Yeah, I think that makes sense. It's basically like getting them engaged by not giving away too much information and only giving them the most powerful thing that they would be interested in.

Exactly. And then let that sink in and then let them say, oh, that is very interesting. Tell me more. And then you go into us deep as you want to go. In marketing, there's a way of looking at marketing that's called push and pull, right? You probably know this. Push is when you're pushing information down people's roads. Pull is when you create an environment where the market is pulling information out of you.

In fact, it's the same in education. I work a lot in our nine education. You know, you don't want to push, we're talking about, you know, a lot about virtual teaching right now because of kids. You don't want to be in a situation where you're pushing stuff down kids' throat because they're stuffed literally. They're not hungry for more information.

And you cannot feed someone that's not hungry in the real world. And also you cannot teach, you cannot give information to someone whose brain is saturated at the time. And so when you create a pool kind of conversation where you give a little bit of information, you allow the audience or the person in front of you to get it, digest it, and say, oh, I want more. Then you're starting to have a dance of you providing something, and then they're pulling more. They're ready for more.

Yeah. And that's more effective because they're engaged. They're part of the conversation. They're steering the conversation. And so it's just all in all a better experience. So let's dig deeper on having a connection. I know that one of the biggest struggles that speakers have is that they can't connect

with their audience. They can't move them to actually taking an action. When you have a speaking engagement, usually you want them to do something, whether it's by your product or schedule, a coaching session, whatever it is, you want to drive them to some sort of outcome. So, what are the reasons why speakers can't connect with their audiences and then how can they better connect with them? Yes, and that I see that all the time.

And I always say it's kind of like dating. It is a balance of when you ask for that action and what are you asking in return. Think about this way. Let's say that you meet someone you go on that first date and they say, do you want to come meet my parents next weekend? And they'll say, hell no.

Like, no way. Like, it's too soon, right? And so there's just a kind of to what you're asking that next action to be. And usually when that action is wrapped around something that you want them to do for you, it's less likely that they'll take that action. But when that action is more gifting and giving to them, they're more likely to take it. So things like by my product can be hard to take action on a quote-unquote

first date engagement like this is the first time we met. The other thing is many people say well let's book a consultation as a follow-up the truth is that I think that's uncomfortable because chances are the consultation is really about you selling me something, so I'm not ready for that. So you want to play the words called the give-give-get game, to some extent. And it's like, how much more can you give these people to get them to trust you and engage with you before you are asking something from them? Yeah, now reminds me of social media actually. That's the same thing with social media. If you're building a community on social media, you want to build their trust provide value, provide value, provide value, and only once they trust you and they're engaged with you, then're just going to build a community by offering services. And it's like, no, you need to actually provide value

and build trust. And then you can offer your services. That really reminds me a lot about social media as well. Absolutely. I did something called Trust Funnels. That's for exactly that. Oh, that's interesting. Do you want to tell us more about that?

Sure. So I don't believe in sales funnels. I believe that trust is that a sale is a consequence of the trust-based relationship well-built. And that by the time that the person gets to know you, if they have the need of the problem that you solve, that they will choose you because they now are feel safe with you. And so while the trust funnel, if you solve, that they will choose you because they now are feel safe with you. And so while the trust funnel, if you want is a play on words, and it's not very different

from a sales funnel, I think it matters how you approach the whole process and the intention that you have, and that when you focus on building trust-based relationships, every step of the way, every action, let's say, your market or a prospect client takes on the top level, they are actually, every time they open your post or read your newsletter or subscribe to your podcast, let's say, they're actually paying you. They're just using a different currency. They're using the currency of trust.

And that currency of trust will eventually shift to currency of money, dollars. But it's important that you as a business see all those transactions happening and value them for what they are. They are investing in you just in the different coin. Your dog is an important part of your family. Don't settle when it comes to their health. Make the switch to fresh food made with real ingredients that are backed by science with NOM-NOM. NOM-NOM delivers fresh dog food that is personalized to your dog's individual needs.

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I really like that. How about knowing more about our audience? Is it important to kind of discover who your audience is before you speak to them? And if so, like, how is that helpful? The more you know who you're talking to, the more you're going to be talking to them. I'm bilingual, right? I speak, I'm going to give you a very specific and basic example. I speak English and Spanish. If I don't know what language my audience is speaking like literally, I can go to a Spanish event and speak in English and they. If I don't know what language my audience is speaking like literally,

I can go to a Spanish event and speak in English and they're not going to get a word. So that's an extreme situation. But go down and think about it in the nuance of it. It's like you want to know as much as you can about the audience you're going to be talking to because you want to speak their language and you want to meet them where they are. You cannot meet them where they are if you don't know who they are and where they are. So give us an example. Like let's say we are talking to a group of kids. Like how would you meet them where they are? Like give us a real example of how that's practical. Yes. So how do you meet them where they are?

First of all, you ask questions. Let's say that it's kids and they are struggling, I don't know, with wellness. You're not gonna talk about the dietary requirements of the government dietary and nutritional kind of suggestions. You're gonna talk about by asking the question, you're gonna say, do you like chocolate? What vegetable do you like? What part of the day or the meal do you like best? Like you start asking the question, you're going to say, do you like chocolate? What vegetables do you like?

What part of the day or the meal do you like best? Like you start asking them questions, so they feel that you are talking to them. And then once they feel that you are in that room for their sake and that you are willing to listen, even if they don't answer, the audience is always answering by clapping or nodding or shaking the head, right? But just those prompts of questions will introduce a subject that you're going to be talking about and will make them feel that you are talking to them versus talking above them. Got it. And so I also know that getting a motion out of your audience is really important.

That's important when it comes to engaging them, connecting with them. You really want to trigger some sort of emotion. So what are the different kinds of emotional triggers that we should go for? Is there ever a scenario where like fear is something that we should use? Or is there other emotions that often work better? How can we determine like what's the best emotion to trigger? Yeah, so it's not the best emotion is which emotion and when. So when I teach my speaking framework, it's all about the understanding that you're on a stage, you're sharing words, but you're also responsible for taking your audience to an emotional journey.

And in the first beginning, you want to plan the seed of curiosity, or maybe even hope by you introducing an idea that can solve a problem that the people might have. And then let's say that you spend a couple of minutes talking about the severity of the problem. Let's say that you're talking, I don't know about COVID and what are the risks and what are the stats and this is what's happening so there might be fear that might be felt while you're sharing that but it's a fear that it's used to help them understand that this is serious. But then you go back and say you know what but you don't have to feel that way

and that doesn't happen, need to happen to you. If you practice this safety measures, like a mask, or social distancing, or whatever. And so they go back to feeling hope. And then you invite them to take action. And so you're starting to get them excited and feel empowered. So it's not about which emotion works is about understanding which emotion

you want them to feel throughout the journey of the talk you're delivering. Oh, you know, that's so interesting. And it's also the same way that people write to when you're writing a story, it's the same thing. You want to just like bring people through the ups and downs and really have them connect with what you're speaking to and being intentional about that. I feel like can help you craft the right story that will kind of engage

people in the most powerful way. So I think that's really cool. I'm glad that we we talked about that. How about body language? What's your tips in terms of the body language that you should have on stage? Is that also something similar in terms of emotions where it might change throughout your presentation, or do you have specific tips in terms of body language? I think there's basic rules,

like hands in the front, face your audience, don't give them back to the audience, there's some basic rules. But beyond that, I always coach my clients that if you are anchored solidly in the message that you have and anchored in the emotion and the intention behind it, your body language will reflect it and I don't need to micromanage it as a coach. So there's all the basic no-nose, like don't give their back to the audience, don't hide

your hands, don't cover your mouth, that kind of thing. But beyond that, I like the speakers to be as authentic as it can be. Yeah. A fun fact, it's not totally related to body language. But Ted Speakers, they don't use podiums because there's a barrier between the speaker and the audience. Yeah. So that's really interesting.

Is there any other fun facts in terms of like? So yeah, so I like men to not wear ties. So that's really interesting. Is there any other fun facts in terms of like? Well, yeah. So I like men to not wear ties. I love men with ties and suits, but on a stage, you don't want to wear tie. You want to be a little bit relaxed. Maybe you can wear a jacket and a shirt with this top button opened up.

Is it because they seem more welcoming if they're not wearing a tie? Yes, more open and more relaxed, more at ease, more like having a conversation. Yeah. Obviously there's moments that you must wear it, but especially for telexes, I always told my speakers don't wear a tie. Wear a suit, but another tie. Interesting, that's funny. Cool. So how about like just general mistakes that you see speakers make so that we can avoid them if we ever have a big speaking engagement.

I think the number one is do not introduce yourself in the first two minutes. If nobody introduces you, then go on the stage, ask people a question or start with your presentation and then let later introduce yourself. Because nobody really wants to know who you are, and so you give them a reason to know who you are. Yeah. And then I also know that the first 60 seconds of a speech is super important. Can you tell us about that? That's exactly.

Yeah. So do not use the first 60 seconds to introduce yourself, but use the first 60 seconds to engage with the audience by asking them a question or telling them a present tense story. Got it. So your recommendation to open up a speech is usually to tell a story, right? Either what we call resonant questions or a story in present tense so that people feel that you are in the moment in the scene right there. Yeah. Something else that I saw based on my research is that you actually help people write a script for their TED Talks, at least you previously did. Yeah. And so you do each currently. And I had other speakers on like Eric Admedis. He's a speaker from Mind Valley, and when I was talking to him about public speaking, he was saying that like, he never scripts it and you should never script it. And basically,

you should always tell stories from your heart so they say, authentic. And you might have like a story journal where you have like a list of all your different stories that you have written down somewhere. But when it comes to actually telling your stories in the moment, you should never be like referencing a script. It should always be kind of coming from your mind since you went through it yourself. So I understand both perspectives. Sometimes on my podcasts, I do more scripting, sometimes I do it more freestyle, it just depends. So I understand both perspectives and see the benefits of both, but help us understand why you think that scripting is the right approach, at least for the TED Talks.

Yeah, so there's a difference between scripting and memorizing and scripting and rehearsing. So scripting, especially if you have not spoken before, you want to script because you want to organize your thoughts prior to your engagement. And then you start anchoring those thoughts in the points you want to make. But yes, absolutely, the stories are probably just flow because you have that experience. The thing with the TED Act is if you have only 17 minutes to talk, you don't want to be completely free flow. Because then you're going to be stopped mid-story at minute 17.

So it really depends on the context and the purpose of the speaking engagements. I believe that a story is an element in a talk, not the talk itself. We select which stories you want to tell and and then you might pre-flow through that moment that two minutes of the story, but it is within a through line that you've set out to share with the world. Yeah, I think that makes sense. And even for me, like coming from podcasting

and doing this, my best interviews are the ones that I've scripted out, and then I don't follow the script. Or like I follow the script, but like I kind of know it. I kind of know what to say. Like and I have all these ideas that I wrote down and then in the moment I'm natural

and I just kind of reference it. I don't read it. Those are always make for the best things because it's like you've just fully prepared. And so like your brain has kind of memorized the important parts. You kind of know your flow. I feel like it's, I feel like some people,

they really stick to like no scripting, just all natural. I'm gonna wing it. And I feel like those people, at least when it comes to podcasting, like they don't have a great show. And I think it's because they don't prepare enough. So the scripting is like a sandbox

for where you're going to play. And so if you've done the job of scripting it at front, like a sandbox from where you're going to play. And so if you've done the job of scripting it at front, then you don't have to even read it. You'll remember that framework and you're gonna follow it. Yeah. How about introverts? So, me being an extrovert, I'm totally fine talking.

I can talk all day, but there's a lot of people who have a lot of trouble speaking, even in a small group, even in a team meeting, they just have trouble speaking up. So like, what are your tips to help introverts come out of their shell and, you know, not be so terrified about speaking up on stage? It's really about being so committed to your message. I've seen a lot of introverts wake up and kind of really blossom when their message becomes more important than their fear of speaking.

And so it's really about why are you speaking, what is the purpose and when you are so passionate about that message you want to share, while it still might be hard, you will overcome it for the sake of that. It's like a mama bear will get energy from somewhere when she needs to protect her cops. Yeah. Well, thank you so much. This conversation was great. The last question I ask all my guests is,

what is your secret to profiting in life? Oh, yeah, I know, having fun. No fun, no profit. Having fun. No fun or profit. I love that. And where can our listeners go to learn more about you and everything that you do? Absolutely. You can come to Masters in Clarity.com and Masters in Clarity on Instagram. Follow me. And, yeah, that's really fun for me. Awesome. Thank you so much, Dolores, it was a pleasure. Thank you so much for having me.

Thanks for listening to Young and Profiting Podcast. If you enjoyed this episode, please consider leaving a review on Apple Podcasts or comments on YouTube, SoundCloud, or your favorite platform. Reviews make all the hard work worth it. They're the ultimate thank you to me and the YAP team. The other way to support us is by Word of mouth. Share this podcast with a friend or family member who may find it valuable. Follow YAP on Instagram at Young & Profiting and check us out at Young & Profiting.com.

You can find me on Instagram at YAP with Hala or LinkedIn. Just search for my name, Hala Ta. Until next time, this is Hala, signing off. Are you looking for ways to be happier, healthier, more productive, and more creative? I'm Gretchen Ruben, the number one best-selling author of the Happiness Project. And every week, we share ideas and practical solutions on the Happier with Gretchen Ruben podcast. My co-host and Happiness Guinea Pig is my sister Elizabeth Kraft.

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