Young and Profiting with Hala Taha - Holocaust Survivor, Dr. Edith Eger: Overcoming Trauma | E112

Episode Date: April 19, 2021

Hear From Holocaust Survivor and Psychologist, Dr. Edith Eger!    In this episode, we are chatting with Dr. Edith Eger, a best-selling author, psychologist, and survivor of the Holocaust. In 1944, she was taken to Auschwitz as a teenager and separated from her parents, who were taken to the gas chamber. Surviving on her bravery and imagination, she was able to stay alive until American soldiers liberated the camp. She went on to move to America and received a Bachelors of Psychology as well as a Doctorate.   Dr. Eger is a prolific author and a member of several professional associations. She has a clinical practice in La Jolla, California, and holds a faculty appointment at the University of California, San Diego. She has appeared on numerous television programs including CNN and the Oprah Winfrey Show, and was the primary subject of a holocaust documentary that appeared on Dutch National Television.    In today’s episode, we chat about Edith’s shot at competing in the Olympics as a teenager, her horrifying experience during the Holocaust, how her mental strength helped her survive. We’ll also chat more about how you can use your imagination to protect yourself, how to conquer traumatic experiences, why the label ‘victim’ shouldn’t be used, and Dr. Edith’s best tips to move forward from trauma and guilt. This is such a sobering and insightful episode that you definitely do not want to miss!    Sponsored by BetterHelp: Join over 1 million people who have taken charge of their mental health. Visit BetterHelp.com/YAP for 10% your first month.    Social Media:    Follow YAP on IG: www.instagram.com/youngandprofiting Reach out to Hala directly at [e-mail] Follow Hala on Linkedin: www.linkedin.com/in/htaha/ Follow Hala on Instagram: www.instagram.com/yapwithhala Follow Hala on ClubHouse: @halataha Check out our website to meet the team, view show notes and transcripts: www.youngandprofiting.com   Timestamps:   03:06 - Dr. Edith’s Life Before the Holocaust 06:22 - Dr. Edith’s Journey through the Holocaust  07:35 - Why Edith Couldn’t Compete in the Olympics  10:22 - How to Deal With Being in a Minority and Potential Shame  12:26 - Dr. Edith’s Final Moments With Her Mother  16:09 - How Dr. Edith Survived Her Time in Auschwitz 19:18 - Daily Life in Auschwitz and Edith’s Experiences 23:54 - Dr. Edith’s Lingering Survivors Guilt  28:21 - What Dr. Edith Did for 10 Years After the Holocaust 30:43 - How To Use Imagination to Protect Your Mental State  36:26 - How To Fully Grieve Traumatic Experiences 39:24 - Dr. Edith’s New Book, The Gift 40:33 - What Happens When You Are A Prisoner Of Your Own Mind 42:20 - Why Dr. Edith’s Not a Victim 45:08 - How to Move From ‘Victim’ to ‘Survivor’ 47:09 - How to Control Internal Negative Talk 49:35 - How to End Hatred and Make Progress 51:57 - Actionable Steps To Deal With Trauma  57:48 - Does Dr. Edith Forgives the Nazis? 1:00:06 - Dr. Edith’s Secret to Profiting in Life   Mentioned in the Episode:   Dr. Edith’s Website: https://dreditheger.com/ Dr. Edith’s New Book, The Gift: https://dreditheger.com/the-gift-2/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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This week on YAP, we're chatting with Dr. Edith Eager, a 93-year-old Holocaust survivor known as the Ballerina of Auschwitz, and she is one of the last survivors of the infamous World War II concentration camp. In 1944, as a Jew living in Nazi-occupied Eastern Europe, Edith and her family were sent to Auschwitz, the heinous death camp when she was just 15 years old. Her parents were immediately sent to the gas chambers, but Edith's bravery kept her and her sister alive. Today Edith is a renowned clinical psychologist, speaker and author.

She uses her own past as a Holocaust survivor to inspire people to tap into their full potential and shape their very best destinies. Her memoir, The Choice Embrace the Possible, is A New York Times Best Seller. In today's episode, we chat about Edith's chance at competing in the Olympics as a teenager, her horrifying experience during the Holocaust, and how her mental strengths helped her survive. We'll also discuss her recently released book, The Gift 12 Lessons to Save Your Life, to uncover how you can use your imagination to protect yourself and how you can conquer traumatic experiences. We'll go on to understand why the label victim shouldn't be used

and we'll hear Dr. Edith's best tips to move forward from trauma and guilt. Hi Edith, welcome to Young and Profiting Podcast. Hello, hello, I'm so happy to wake up in the morning and look forward to seeing you and that you are. You are the sweetest, you're such a sweet lady. So you have an incredible story. Edith, you are a Holocaust survivor. You're also a psychiatrist and you teach people how to deal with trauma and stress.

And so I can't wait to unpack that all. But before we get started, I do wanna talk about what happened to you before the Holocaust. From my understanding you were a gymnast, you were training for the Olympic Games, and then they told you that you couldn't compete. So talk to us about life before the Holocaust,

before all these terrible things happened when you were 15 years old. I was born into a very talented family. My older sister, Meg, that was a very talented pianist. And my sister, Clara, played the violin. So the two of them were playing together. My sister with a company, Magda, the violinist Clara, and what happened that my parents really wanted to son, and then, as you know, I came along. And I never felt that I really belonged to the family.

And at the age of three, I was very ill. There was an epidemic, some kind of Spanish fever, they called it. And I was rendered close to doctor, came in and somehow, unfortunately, managed to touch my eye. And I became cross-eyed. And so when we went for a walk, my sisters would blindfold me. So no one would see what an ugly sister I was.

And I can still sink to you in Hungarian that I'm so ugly and puny and I'm never gonna find a husband. And to top of that, my mom looked at me very seriously and said, I'm glad you have brains because you have no looks. So I became a very, very talented gymnast. And I had a wonderful ballet master that somehow gave me hope that I have a future as well. And my ballet master told me that I am very talented

and that all my ecstasy has to come from inside out. This is important to say today, because as you know, we have the epidemic, also hopelessness that people are not really seeing this as something temporary, that we can really find a gift in everything. And this is the time out to a group and revisit the places where you've been and stop complaining so much. So I'm really happy to talk to you as a 93-year-old, good-rounder, and you're a wonderful, good-rounder.

So I'm so glad that you're very committed and you're doing your calling. It's not a job, it's your calling. Oh, thank you. Well, that's so crazy that you grew up and even your mother told you that you weren't gonna get married. And I even know back then the culture was, when you were a woman, you get married or nothing.

That was everything to get married. But you ended up meeting a boyfriend and you, you were actually very beautiful. So, it's surprising to hear that because you were beautiful, Valorina. I've seen pictures and so surprising to hear that. But you did end up meeting a boyfriend, right? And you were very happy. What, what happened? How did you guys end up getting separated? What happened next? We were picked up and taken to a factory from our home. We met there. When I was taken to the train station where we were just thrown in and taken the Auschwitz. He said to me, we don't know very well with you again, but I want you to know you have beautiful eyes and beautiful hands. So I said to myself in Auschwitz, I would go to everyone, tell me about my hands, tell me

about my eyes, because I said to myself, if I survive today, then tomorrow I'll be free. So tomorrow can be a good friend, that even today, that people can just take every moment, make the best of it, and know that it's temporary and become surviving. So you were saying that you were training for the Olympic Games. And before actually you went to the brick factory, I believe they told you that you couldn't compete because you were Jewish. How did that make you feel at the time?

I went to actually to a Jewish school. And when we came out, children were speeding at us and calling me a Christ killer. I didn't realize that Jesus was a Jewish boy. I did not know that, and I just didn't wanna be a Christ killer. So I felt prejudice before Hitler in Hungary.

So I think it's very important for you and I to not to forget history and not even overcome it but to come to terms with it. And know that there is a hit there in every one of us and that is kindness and goodness and mother Teresa and so I was able to look at the guards and the midgards helped to turn hatred into pity and I felt sorry for the guards that they would throw children in the gas chamber without even guessing them. And so I was able to somehow be in hell and make it an opportunity to discover

that life is from inside out. And I was able to somehow not to allow anyone to get to me. Just like today, that's what I teach. No one makes me angry, no one can reject me. Rejection is just an English word that people use when they don't get what they want. So you have to look at your expectation and reality and look at the gap because sometimes we expect something from someone who doesn't have it to give. So I want to drill on one part.

I want to go deep on one part, which is before you were taken to the brick factory, before you guys went to Ossoitch, you got rejected to being the Olympic Games because you were Jewish. And I read that you actually denied that you were Jewish because you were ashamed. And I think that this is something that a lot of people feel right now. I'm Arabic.

And when 9-11 happened, I stopped. I told everyone, I'm not Muslim, I'm not Arabic. Like, I didn't want to be associated with it. And I understand when you can feel ashamed for no reason. And I think even there's other cultures out there, black children, for example, some of them say that they wish they were white. And so how should we deal with this kind of like

when we are a part of a minority group that is something that we may feel internally ashamed of? How do we deal with that, would you say? You know, most of us are not dealers to begin with. You know, I think what we want to do is love ourselves and not to really allow us to be convinced what other people are telling us. When I go to school, I tell children to don't allow anyone to define who you are.

You are a human being, and that's what I am. See, you tell me that I'm Holocaust survivor. I am a human being who experienced the Holocaust, but it's not my identity. I am not a victim. I was victimized. It's not who I am. It's what was done to me. And we all experienced drama, one kind or another in our lives.

So I think it's very important for us not to take things personally, because if someone in the English language says to you, the word you, you say to yourself, I'm going to be dumbed on. And the more they talk, the more relaxed I become. You take the negative stimuli and turn it into positive and just say thank you for your opinion. Thank you for your feedback that you don't, if someone throws out the rope, don't pick it up. It takes two to five, it takes one to stop it. Okay, so let's talk. You mentioned before that you guys were taken to work, your family was taken away from your home. You were taken to work at a break factory and then one day you guys were taking an also, your family was taken away from your home. You were taken to work at a brick factory.

And then one day, you guys were taken to Ossoitch. And that was the last day, I believe, that you saw your parents. And your mom's last words to you was, no one can take from you what you've put in your mind. So I'd love for you to take us back to that moment and what happened there and how you felt when your mom told you those words and what it meant to you Moving on in terms of dealing with all the things that you dealt with later on in life You say my mother Was very psychic. I don't know if you are too

But there is a sick sense That she didn't know where we're going and she hugged me in the kettle-card and said, honey, we don't know where we're going, we don't know what's going to happen. Just remember, no one can take away from you what you put it in your own mind. And that's exactly what happened. We arrived and I saw the sign, our white marked fry, where it makes you free.

And my father said, it's okay, we're just going to work and then we go home. But that's not what happened. I never saw my father when I was liberated. Someone told me that he saw my father being taken to the gas chamber. So there was nothing coming from the outside and I became very so excited on as well because when we were liberated, we didn't know how to embrace the freedom. People would walk out the gate and then the person would come back.

Today it's called learned helplessness. I've been working with better wives many years ago. I was helping to build transitional living centers for women who go back to the husband, even though he would beat her, but he brainwashes her telling her that she's nothing without him. So you have to be very careful depression. Many times is in a situation when people don't really know what to do, what to take the unfortunate beating. Yeah, and I'm sure when you're living in those conditions, like you said, when you get out of them,

it's probably so hard to just assimilate back into society. Where do you go? You know, many years ago, if I would see to somebody that I want to be a doctor, they probably would have told me because she couldn't find a husband. Because when I was a little girl, you know, a little boy was told to become a somebody, a doctor, a lawyer, whatever, but a little girl was told, I was told, to find somebody. Because you know what you until somebody loves you.

That's not true at all. You are somebody. I am somebody. And that is very important to put value on yourself. And if you meet someone, see whether they are worthy, that worthy of you. You don't come see, you know, you want someone who is going to work like the pioneer woman in America, work alongside of the husband. I think that's important. It's not until the industrial society when a woman became emotionally and financially dependent on a man that's when wife beating began. That's very true.

So let's go back to that story. No one can take from you what you've put in your mind, what your mother told you. You ended up being your older sister, Magda's mirror when you were in Ausauwich. You helped your older sister. So how are you mentally strong compared to everyone else? How did you survive being in those conditions? What did you see when you were there with your sister? Take us back there, tell us what happened.

I usually tell people today, if you want to say anything, ask yourself, is it kind? Is it very important? Is it very necessary? Is it very necessary? And if not, then don't see. And that's why we have two years and one lips. So we would listen more and talk less.

So I remember when my sister Magda asked me, how do I look? And Hungarian women can be very vain, you know. So there we were, here we are, we are nakedness and she asked me, how do I look? And I had a choice then, as you have a choice now. I always like to bring the dead and then to the here and now. And I said, to Magda, I looked at her, and instead of telling her how she looked, I said to herself, Magda, you have beautiful eyes, and I didn't tell you when you had

your hair all over the place. And she said, thank you. You see, and I think today we do have a choice, because what we could not do in Auschwitz is to have any control what was happening outside of us. But we had a choice, the way it is funded rather than reacting because if you touch the God, you will shut right away. If you touch the world, you will electrocute it. Oh my gosh. And so basically you would tell your sister that she looked beautiful. I guess so that she wouldn't feel bad. Is that is that what it was? Exactly. While we had it, when I was at theian, a girl next to me found a mirror,

and I couldn't understand, where do you find the mirror in a place like that? And in no time at all, I see the same girl with the mirror, and she told me, I'm very unto her net in my budwara. See, you take your imagination, She told me, I'm a re-untonnet in my budowar. See, you take your imagination,

and I remember in Auschwitz, you know, they even took my blood like twice a week. And I asked, why are you taking my blood? And the guy said, to eat the German soldiers, so we can win the war and take over the world, especially America. I couldn't eat my arm, my way, but I said to myself, with my blood, you're never going to win the war. I was a ballet dancer, I was a gymnast, and so they could throw me in a gas chamber, they could beat me, torture me, and yet they could never touch my spirit.

Wow. Nobody can, nobody can. What else happened in Ausauwich? Like, what was daily life? Like, you just mentioned they took blood from you twice a week. What are those things to do, witness? I think Auschwitz was hell. And right now, we are experiencing a situation that we don't know what's going to happen tomorrow.

And that's a very, very unfortunate place to be, because you don't know what's going to happen tomorrow. So I, I, I, to put on your curiosity and recognize that you never really think of suicide because you want to know what's going to happen next. And that's what kept me alive, my curiosity. And what we had was each other. So when I was asked to dance for Dr. Mangelen, who came to the barrack, there was my school teacher from the Jewish school who taught me to do as I am told. And I remember I closed my eyes and I pretended that the music was psychosky

and I was dancing the romaine Julia at the Budapest Opera House. So you had to go beyond the Mimi, Mimi, we had to commit ourselves to each other as we do now. And it was very important. And then when I was done, by the way, while I was dancing, he was pointing out this guy who took to the gas chamber, so I began to pray for him. And then when I was done, I was given a piece of bread. And thank God, instead of gobbling up the bread, I saved it and gave it and shared it with the girls.

I was up there on the third stop. When we were in a death march in April 1945, I was about to stop. And if you stop, you were shot right away and thrown into a ditch. I revisited that place too. But the girls that I shed with came and they carried me so I wouldn't die. Isn't that amazing? The diverse condition brings out the best and all. And they carried me so I wouldn't die.

And then in good condition where we were going to be, they were preparing to kill us there. But thank God the American soldiers, the 71st infantry came and we were liberated, it made for. So think of me, me for 1945, right after noon, the saints came marching in and I met a man who was part of the 71st infantry and I went to Colorado and also consulted on post-rometric stress with the soldiers and told them that uniform gave me life, that I was given a second chance. Wow, and from my understanding, you were found by soldiers with pneumonia, you had pleuroscis, I can't say that, a broken back, and you and your sister were basically dying on top

of dead bodies, and then they found you like moving your hand or something. That's crazy. And you met your husband shortly after that, right? I just want you to know that you are the most brilliant interviewer. And I had many. Thank you for reading and knowing my story. You know, I have a story, but I'm not my story, you see. And for me to be honored and handing the torch to you, knowing that I want to be remembered as someone who did everything in her power that your children will never experience what I did. Young and profitors, do you have a brilliant business idea but you don't know how to move

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So don't wait. Now is the time to turn your business idea into a reality by listening to the Millionaire University podcast. New episodes drop Mondays and Thursdays. Find the Millionaire University podcast on Apple Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts. So you are a survivor, right? You actually don't like that word, but you've made it out of the Holocaust alive. Did you have any guilt when you came home, when you were in America, raising your family, and you ended up becoming a psychiatrist and becoming successful? Did you have guilt

with you? I have still unfortunately, the survivors I was scared. I even asked my sister when I saw two paraplegics working with PTSD. And one of them was angry and blaming everything from God to country. And the other one said to me, hey, Doc, I am in a wheelchair. And I didn't realize that I'm closer to my children, and I'm closer to the flowers. And here I was wearing a white coat, Dr. Eager, Department of Psychiatry, and I felt like the worst imposter. And that's when I decided to go back to our shrits, back to the lions, then look at the lion in a face to reclaim my innocence. And that's what I do today. It's about grieving, feeling, and healing. I am a licensed

clinical psychologist, also on a faculty at UCSD Medical School with the Department of Psychiatry. So, and we talk about death and dying, and it's amazing how we cannot really be free until we go through the rage, going through the value of the shadow of death, but don't get stuck in death. That's what people, they are rewiring, go rewiring. And I think you and I are guiding people to not to go the same thing over and over again, but to able to go through just like a butterfly, go through the metamorphosis. And this is a good time to ask yourself, what am I holding on to, and what am I willing to let go of? My definition of love is the

ability to let go, the ability to let go. That's your definition of love. A definition of love because you give up the need for other people to prove all of you. Yeah, it's like freedom. You see, you need to use everyone, it's impossible, but most of all, you give up perfectionism because I always see perfectionism leading to procrastination. Do you procrastinate? Do I procrastinate? When I'm afraid, I procrastinate when I make it in my mind that something's harder than it is. But as soon as I give it a try and just try it for 10 minutes, that's it.

That's all it takes. Do you know what is the best for leather work? What's that? It starts with an odd risk. So if I come to you and tell you, I like to get to know you and I hope you like to get to know me, not Dr. E. Gerndt, and you tell me that you respect me and yet you're really not interested in getting to know me.

So I was risking, I didn't get what I want, but I was not rejected, because no one can reject me but me. So give up that word. I just wanted something and I didn't get it. So I can be disappointed, but don't get discouraged. I can be angry, but don't let it lead to resentment. See, once you're angry, you get power away to someone. You have to be careful not to do that.

I totally agree. OK, so you were released into society. You ended up finding a husband. You became a psychiatrist, but it took you 10 years to come out with your first book. It was called The Choice Embrace the Possible. It took you 10 years. So were you afraid to share, did you talk about being a Holocaust survivor,

or were you just kind of shut it out and you didn't really think about it much? Like what happened in those 10 years? Yes, you know, well, I came to America. I didn't have six dollars to get off the boat. I did not speak English at all. Everything was OK. OK. I was totally broke.

And so I decided just to go underground and become a Yankee Doodle Dandy like you. And I never told anyone I was in our streets until I finally broke that when I read the book by Viktor Franco, Manseuch for Meaning. So when Dr. Phillips in Bardo came to me and told me that the Holocaust survivors who are famous are all men, and they need a female voice. And so that's how I was able to do the choice that is the female voice. But Victor Franco was in his studies and a medical doctor in 1944, and I was a 16-year-old in love.

So we were there in different times, but we both used the same scale. He said he too closed his eyes and pretended that he was lecturing at the V&E's lecture hall about the psychology of the concentration camp. When I told him that I too closed my eyes and I was dancing in my wonderful ways of not being in a present and get through, and to be able to actually pray for Dr. Mangala.

Yeah, so let's stick on that for a second. So you were just saying that you used your imagination when you were in the concentration camp to kind of keep your sanity, so you wouldn't get depressed, you wouldn't be suicidal. You used your imagination. Are there any other tactics that we can use today if we're in a bad situation? No matter, I don't think there's things

as extreme as being in a concentration camp, but let's say you're in an abusive relationship or let's say you're in a bad work environment. How can we take any traumatic situation that we're currently in and make sure we protect our mental state? What do you suggest that we're currently in and make sure we protect our mental state. What do you suggest that we do? I tell you one word that is not in my vocabulary, I can't. So when I'm in a classroom, I run to the blackboard, I say, I can't equals, I am helpless. And then I take the eraser, I take the apostrophe and the tea I can, why?

Because I think I can. I think very importantly, because you see when cannibals and broke out in that camp where I was liberated and people were eating other people's flesh. My liberator told me that people were eating that horse, which I did not see. But you see, I was able to look up at God and I want you to see the sound of music because it was there and I looked up at God and I asked God to see the sound of music because it was there and I looked up at God and I asked God to help me and God told me just to look down and I remember I am choosing one

blade of grass over against the other. So when people say I can't say I'm helpless, that's not true. You can choose one breed of grass, even then I had a choice. So that's why I'm not a shrink, I'm a stretch. And today I'm guiding people to stretch their comfort zone and not to give up so quickly ever because there is hope and hopelessness, there is the light after the tunnel, there is rain, after the rain, it's just how you look at things. I think it's very important, not what happens, but everything, everything in life is an opportunity. So if you are mad to someone who is drinking and you think that your love is going to make him want to stop drinking,

think again. Unfortunately, addiction is with us and I hope that people take stock of themselves now and whatever you do in excess. Find the balance between working, loving and playing. Don't forget the playing, but not to do anything. This episode of YAP is sponsored by BetterHelp. Is something preventing you from being truly happy? Are you unable to focus and achieve your goals? Guys, nobody is perfect. We're all a work in progress. Even I still have a lot of mental work to do,

and you'll witness it yourself later on in this episode. I literally start crying when asking Dr. E. to the question, because there's some deep trauma that I still need to work out inside of me related to the death of my father last year from COVID-19. And aside from all the trauma I faced from the pandemic, my boyfriend of 10 years and I are having some serious relationship troubles. Honestly, it's been a tough time. So I started to talk to someone

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Join over one million people who have taken charge of their mental health. Again, that's betterhelp.htlp.com slash app. I'm gonna share a very, very personal story with you and I think it will help my listener. So COVID-19 happened and last March, my parents got COVID-19 and my dad ended up passing away in May from COVID.

And for a whole month, I watched my dad die on camera. Sorry. I watched him die. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. For a month, I just watched him die every day and we weren't allowed to see him and it was terrible. And I remember my uncle, who's his best friend,

he would refuse to even watch him on Zoom and he told me, you know, you'll never get those images out of your head if you keep watching him like this. This is how you're gonna remember him now. And it's true when I think about him, I keep seeing him in the hospital. So it's like, what do we do with traumatic images? Like how do we get that out of our head?

Sorry. But I think this is outflow for everyone. I'm sure you've seen, you saw so much worse stuff. So what I'm even crying about is nothing compared to what you saw. So it's like, how do we get these traumatic images out of our head? What do we do? You know, when a woman came to me and told me

she was sexually abused, and I don't know how I can tell you either, because you were in Auschwitz. And my answer to her was, you were more in prison than I was, because I knew the enemy. And so, when you have a feeling about your dad, what comes out of your body, will not make you ill, crying is very good, very healthy, to go through the value of the shadow of that, go through it. And how would where you when your father died? It was just last year, so I was 30. So you can think that you didn't lose your father,

you had him sent to you for that many years. And so sit down and invite the feeling, stop denying, stop running from the feeling. It's okay to grieve. And you can't heal what you don't feel. You know, I'm working with psychiatrists now and we are working on death, and they do not medicate grief. It's not clinical depression. You have to really acknowledge that half of you is your dad, and you are carrying the blood. I carry also the blood of my ancestors who were on the desert for forty-some years, and

God knows what in the Promised Land. And sometimes even they were worshipping something other than God. And yet you see, you make it. So I don't like the word dealing, you know. I don't think we are very good dealers. I think we love us and I think we have joy and love and passion that we are born with. And that's what I feel at 93. I don't care about the numbers because when I was 40, I was told to go get a doctor

at and I told my supervisor, it's impossible, I'll be 50 something and he said, you'll be 50 anyway. And I think that is the wisest thing that happened. Go back to school, go study belly dancing, do something other than you did yesterday. So stretch your comfort zone. Yeah, the time is going to pass anyway, that's such a valuable lesson. So, you have a book, a new book that came out in 2020 called The Gift 12 Lessons to Save Your Life. Can you talk to us about some of these lessons that you talk about in that book?

Well, you know, I was getting all these four calls, thank you telling me that congratulations, that the choice made the New York Times special and I am of course happy, happy and they say, but you need another book because you need to tell me more practical skills. And so that's how the gift came about and see the concentration camp that is in your prison, namely in your head, that you don't care about yourself, you may carry some guilt and shame, and others are grief, a lot of rigidity. And then you ask yourself, am I evolving, go re-wurving, and am I ready to recognize that there is no forgiveness without rage.

You say that the worst prison you were ever in was the one that you created for yourself. Talk about what happens when you're a prisoner of your own mind. Well, I was graduated cum laude and I was told to pick up my cap and gun and the place at a certain time. And I never showed up because I said to myself,

I have no right because they are dead and I'm not. I had tremendous survivors get, and I did not show up for my graduation today. I would not do that, because you see, when you're angry, also you must realize that anger is not the primary emotion. You've got to look at the other emotions. Once you're angry, you give away your power.

It's best, you know, not to become angry because you're just hurting yourself. So what you want to do is write down, remain calm to me, eat, I need a man, I need a man. And I said, well write down what you want from that ideal man that you want. And then you become that person. Whatever you practice, you become better at it. So there are two things. I ask you to do, think about your thinking and pay attention, what you're paying attention

to. Any behavior you pay attention to, you reinforce that very behavior. Okay, so if you like to change, remember, if you don't change, you don't grow. Let's continue on this victim mentality. You say that you are not a victim, you are victimized. It's not who you are, it's what was done to you. Could you explain that to us?

Thank you, thank you. Yeah, it's very important because what you think, you create. You say, I don't want to think about it. You tell me, I want to lose weight, but I don't want to think about food. I don't want to think about food. Guess what happens? Your body, your mind is a computer, whatever you say. I don't want to think about food, you're going to think about food.

You say, yes, it means no one is yet, a lot of the time, so that's why it's good to have a goal and pay attention what you focus on. And that has to be coming closer and closer to your goal. I like to call it the arrow that you follow. When I came to America, I came from Germany to New York. But there was a big, big storm at the English Channel, and I noticed that we were taking away from that place. And then I noticed that we came back to that place so we can go to New York, not to China. So it's very important for you to have a goal.

I was many, many years ago doing some work with a horse. And that's a wonderful way to do therapy. And because the horse will follow you wherever you go. It's a place called Miraval to San Arizona. And I was with a wonderful, wonderful gynecologist, Dr. Brooks. And we took women with breast cancer. And they were using the horse,

and I was working with one myself. It's amazing how they are sensing you and following you wherever you are. So you'd feel it, could never be touched, and never can be touched even today. Unless you were assured and just kicked me. And some people like to be victims because you cannot be a victim without a victim either. So it can give you a license to do nothing.

And it's very important because many people look at the victims as being weak and victimizers as being strong. And part of the psyche can identify with the aggressor. We call it the Stockholm Syndrome. So if somebody has a victim mindset or they always have a victim mindset, how can they move from being a victim to a survivor? Well, when you have a victim, you're always going to find a victimizer, but yesterday's victim can also become today's victimizers. So many times especially parents call their children names and unfortunately it can go

from generation to generation, but you can stop it. Find a parent in you that is loving and caring and find a parent in you that really doesn't even have to say anything. One look can do it. So it's very important. Look at the eye contact. And I can kill you with my eyes, and I can love you with my eyes. It's very important for me to tell you that,

because what I say, I lived it. I lived it when my sister looked at me for answers, and I kept looking at her that without her, I don't wanna live either, and all we have is each other. all we have is each other then. And all we have is each other now. That's beautiful. And so just before this, you were talking about the need to kind of have a vision, have a goal,

have an end goal so that you can kind of have something to look forward to, get yourself out of whatever you're in right now by having a goal. There's also importance of removing any sort of negative self-chat or negative self-talk. And you say that this negativity can actually impact you physically. It can make your cells and your body sick, right? So how can we make sure that we are not super negative? How do we control that internal talk and how does negativity impact your body?

Well, there is one thing we can change is our attitude, our thinking, and when you you're thinking, you're going to change your feelings as well. So it's very important to think about your thinking. And one thing you don't want to do ever again, ask how are you? Because I used to ask my patients how are you, and they would say, fine. The next time they came, I said, Jesus, good to see you, I missed you. Don't ask questions, because people only lie

if you ask questions. Make a statement. So if your husband comes home, get rid of what is called social noises. How are you, find? Did you have a good day? What do you want to do tonight? I don't know.

What do you want to do? You know, when you go back and forth, going nowhere, you are reviving, not evolving. So stop asking questions and stop asking, oh, so anything that would lead for you to give an advice. The first advice is advice. I wonder about that and I wonder what I would do if I were you, but don't say, why don't you do this, or why don't you do that? Because then they're going to say, oh, well, you taught me to do it, you see. And so I teach people, especially couples, how to fight and how they finish the fight,

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is really, really growing. That I saw the shirt on January 6th on on someone that said, 6 million was not enough. I really think I felt. I wonder whether these people had their loving mother because you learn to hate, you're not born with that. It's very important for us to unite and exchange philosophies that you can be Muslim and the Arab, you see, and your ancestors, and my ancestors, didn't give up. And you and I carry good blood. See, it's what you concentrate on. What you play attention to. So don't run away, don't run away from your wonderful people who

never give up and that's why you are here. And that's why I'm here and survived the desert and Holocaust, the state of Israel. And then some people give up too quickly. In America, people get a divorce much quicker rather than recognizing that they can empower each other with our differences, that you can be you and I can be I. And that's what America was built on democracy, that you can be you and I can be I.N. And to have the freedom and not to be against, but to be for life and for celebration. against, but to be for for life and for celebration. Amazing. Well, Edith, this was such an amazing interview.

Before I go on to my last question that I ask, oh, my guess, I do want to ask, is there anything regarding trauma and helping people deal with trauma, especially in the time of COVID-19 where people like me, like, you know, our parents have died and we've all dealt with a lot of suffering this past year. What is your top actionable steps to deal with trauma? I think one of the things I ask people, think a time a day, when you just allow yourself to grieve, it's okay to feel sorry for yourself and say, why me? And it's okay, as long as you don't get stuck there. And possibly, you know, 15, 20 minutes, but not the rest of the day. You go about the rest of the day, working, loving, playing, that you have a way to recognize that you're

fathered in dying way, and my parents in dying way, and they are really winking and they're saying that we carry that blood from generation to generation, that we don't give up ever, that we are able to feel the feelings, so there is grieving, feeling and healing. And I think we are going through that journey and climbing that mountain and sleeping and climbing and never stop climbing. I have yet to arrive. I don't live in Auschwitz.

I really don't live in Auschwitz. I call it my cherished wound. Because in Auschwitz, I learned to look at life from inside out, that I was able to reach out to others that we had a family of inmates. And I hope that now we can unite and truly, truly stop this stopped us and them mentality and the richer for it. And you see, I was a very lonely child, but I'm so glad that I was able to find in our shrits. My inner resources that no Nazi could ever take away from me. So just take things personally. Just say thank you for your opinion, thank you for letting me know how you feel.

But what did you, Dad, did not study Plato when he said there was no Holocaust. I'm not going to go and tell him that you're on, but I'm going to tell him to possibly go first to Germany, go to a German consulate, the nearest one you can find, and you may also find out that theges Jewish population today is in Germany. That the 12 years of Nazis doesn't make all German Nazis, no not at all. There was a woman dying, I remember a while ago, it was in a newspaper and they asked her, why did you rescue life to save Jews Jews and her answer was in her dead bed. My father told me, that's the right thing to do. I'm sure your father is very proud of you, but you have to be proud of yourself. If you have a child, say I'm proud of you, say I hope you're proud of yourself.

It's so powerful what you're saying, like the fact that you found the internal strength and through all of those terrible experiences, you were able to find your internal power that kept you alive and kept your sister alive and helped you now helping thousands and millions of people. So God bless you. You are an angel here on earth. Honestly, I feel your goodness inside of you. And I do want to ask, do you forgive the Nazis who treated you in your family that way? Do you forgive the Nazis who murdered your parents? You see, I see a couple of things. There is no forgiveness without rage. You don't cover

garlic with chocolate. We got to go through that rage. It's very, very important that we do that. Where is your father buried? In New Jersey. In a cemetery? Yes, in a cemetery. I hope you'll be able to go there, even if not in person, and take your shoes off and make contact with him. So he can rest in peace, knowing that you carry that blood, that you do everything in your power, that this would never happen again. He is giving you a standing ovation and says it just like Mr. Higgins, Oh my God, she's got it. You got it. You got it girl.

You got it girl. You have the YAP and the young, beautiful, adventurous, role model because you see you're not talking, you're doing. Say, love is really not what you feel is what you do. And what you do that you are totally committed to turn that bridge into reality. Oh, thank you so much, Edith. So I just wanna make sure, I feel like this could be such a powerful insight

to our listeners. Like, were you able to forgive those Nazi soldiers? Like, do you forgive them? And it was that part of the grieving. It's forgiveness is a gift that I give myself and not to carry the hate because if I would carry that hate, I would still be a prisoner. You know, you got to be very, very selective who's going to get your anger. Really, it's again that beautiful brain that we have and what we do with

it is with us. So I back teenagers don't smoke pot because it interferes with the natural growth of your brain. The brain doesn't help until you're 25. So don't play around. Just stay in school. Because when I was 40, I was told to go get a doctor. And my supervisor told me to go do it. And I said, I don't think I am able to because I am already 40. And by the time I get my doctor, I'll be over 50. And he said to me, you'll be 50 anyway.

And I think that is so important not to look at the numbers. It's the way you look at everything, even the hell in Auschwitz that gave me the opportunity to reach out, to share my bread with my sister, and to be able to not only survive, but to be a guide to people who can change from victimization to empowerment, or to share your gear and secrets, and to neglect yourself because self love is self-care. It's not narcissistic. I'm so happy that we got to talk. I'm so happy that I get to share your story with all my listeners and all my fans on LinkedIn. You are a beautiful spirit and thank you for all the work that you do. The last question that I ask all my guests is, what is your secret to profiting in life? And this can be profiting with your professional life, your social life, your love life,

your financials. Just what is your secret to having a profiting, fulfilling life? keep walking, just keep evolving and keep giving and keep being the true Self. And I think this is a wonderful time for people to discover the true Self, the genuine Self that you gave up early on. And the question is, when did your childhood end? And go find that little girl in you and tell her, I'm never going to leave you. And to be able to carry that little beautiful child with you who is really so happy that you're going to be

the caring, loving mom to you and tell that little girl, you're the only one. You're the only one, keep on loving and so love conquers all, that's all. Love is not what you feel, is what you do. So come up with a reward system. If you do something to the day, what you have previously avoided, put a book in a jar, just like a monkey, you know, to get the chips and then you cash it in on a banana and then you cash it in maybe a sc skirt or something. I have four, at least four, the drawers of scarves. I have scarves from 20 years ago. And people thought I just got it.

But I was in Germany when escada opened up. You know, escada is a horse. It was the owner's horse, escada. So I became the escada girl and I still have escada scars from 20 years ago and people think I just bought it. Well, it looks beautiful on you. And if you guys are listening and she's wearing a beautiful white scarf on camera, so it looks gorgeous. The final question is where can our listeners go to find out about you? Where can they find your books and and everything about what you do online? Well, I think my precious assistant will tell you all about it here you go. But it's eating. It's editheagert.com editagert.com.

Perfect and we'll put those in the show notes and I'll find all your other links too. Thank you so much Edith. You are an angel. Thanks for sharing your story. Thanks for all the work that you do in the world. You are a role model. You are a survivor. You're a beautiful woman and just thank you so much for your time and this is going to be an amazing interview. So thanks so much for your time and and and all the learnings that we learned from you today. Thank you. Thank you. You are the future. You are the ambassador for peace and goodwill. God bless you. Thank you. Thanks for listening to Young and Profiting Podcast. Dr. Edith was so sweet and had such an incredible story. I'm so thankful that we all got to experience that.

And I personally loved when Dr. Edith was talking about how she's not a victim and how we can move from being a victim to a survivor. Dr. Edith had every excuse in the book to remain a permanent victim. She went through some terrible, terrible things, but she made the choice to heal. I want you guys to always remember that true freedom can only be found by forgiving, letting go, and moving on. And Dr. Edith's own powerful words, we all have a story, but I refuse to be my story. I was victimized, but I am not a victim. That is so, so powerful. I was victimized, but I am not a victim.

Dr. Edith's life story is a perfect example of how everything that happens to us in life, including painful and traumatic experiences, they can be transformed into a source of inspiration. We can focus on what is possible now instead of focusing on the past. Dr. Edith survived because of her attitude about life, her courage, her willingness to forgive, and her ability to focus beyond the enormous pain and suffering she endured during that camp. And personally, when my dad died from COVID, I watched him suffer for an entire month. I watched him get buried without a proper funeral, and it was very traumatic for me,

but I didn't realize it back then, but I did something very similar to Dr. Edith, instead of just wallowing in my pain, instead of deciding I was a victim, I did quite the opposite. I decided to forgive, let go, and focus on the future. I focused on my podcast and my business, and that's why 2020 ended up being the worst year and the best year of my life.

It was because I let go, I forgave, and I decided to focus my energy and get inspired and focus all of that energy, repackage it into something positive and work on my podcast and my business. That's what I did to get out of that crazy situation. But obviously there's still some work to do because you guys heard me, I started crying

during the interview, it's very embarrassing, but still there's lots of work to do, which is why I'm talking to someone. And if you're out there and you wanna talk to someone too, check out our sponsors BetterHelp. Go to betterhelp.com slash app and you'll get 10% off your first month of therapy. And if you have pain or trauma that you're still holding onto,

you could also pick up Dr. Edith's book, The Gift, and you could learn more about press revering through the healing process. If you enjoyed this conversation with Dr. Edith and you want more inspirational content to fuel your soul, why don't you check out my episode number 100, which features me, Halataha, and my top three secrets to profiting in life. It goes on to explain how 2020 was both the worst year

and the best year of my life. Here's a clip from that special episode. And I hope this inspires you to realize that you probably have a lot of value to share in your life. And I hope that my story of 2020 and all the struggles that I went through and how I overcame them and ended up having the best year of my life, I hope that inspires you.

And I hope that some of my secrets on my journey inspire you and you'll remember them the next time that you've got rejected and you'll remember them the next time that you wanna get an opportunity and you don't know if you have the right experiences and you'll remember the next time that you wanna get an opportunity and you don't know if you have the right experiences and you'll remember the next time that you're not believing in yourself and hopefully you remember, Hala, telling you

that you need to believe that life is limitless. You need to believe you can achieve your goals if you actually wanna achieve them. And rejection is okay. Rejection just means you gotta create your own lane. That's the sign from the universe. When you get rejected, it doesn't mean go find another gatekeeper. It doesn't mean go try to convince the same gatekeeper over and over again.

It means you need to do your own thing and create your own lane. That's what it means. And then every failure that you get, every experience that you take will give you skills that you can then use later on to follow your true passions. And if you do it right and you aren't afraid to do new things, aren't afraid to take on risks and to possibly fail, you will learn so much so fast. And you will be at an advantage when you're finally ready to do what you are truly meant to do.

Again, if you want to get motivated and feel pumped up for life, check out my episode number 100. So many of our listeners have reached out about how much they loved that specific episode. And if you haven't subscribed to Young & Profiting Podcast yet, please do so so you can be notified every time we drop a new episode. And go ahead and drop us a review on Apple Podcasts. If you're an avid listener, you know I love me some Apple Podcast reviews there the number one way to thank us at Young & Profiting Podcasts. And if you don't have Apple, write us a review or comment on Cast Box, Podbean, Podcast

Republic, or wherever you listen to our show. And as always, I want to give a quick shout out to our latest Apple Podcast reviewer. This week's shout out goes out to the amazing Joel Corpus. I loved your podcast, Hala. Hi, Hala, I think you're amazing. Your recent interview with Josh Kaufman was phenomenal. Both you and your team did an extraordinary job of putting this together. I listened to both the first and second parts of your interview with Josh Kaufman was phenomenal. Both you and your team did an extraordinary job of putting this together. I listened to both the first and second parts

of your interview with Josh, and I took several key points as great learning opportunities. I highly recommend everyone out there to listen and experience the value that you can bring to their lives as you have for me. My compliments to you and the app team, I wish you much success.

Thank you so much Joel for taking the time to message me on LinkedIn with your feedback and then posting it as an Apple Podcast review. You are so, so appreciated and thank you so much for acknowledging the app team. They are so amazing. I'm so blessed to have an amazing research team and social team, the whole entire team rock. So thank you for taking the time to appreciate them as well. And if you would like to be featured on Younger Profiting Podcasts just like Joel, please

remember to subscribe and write us a five-star review on Apple Podcasts. And go ahead and share Younger Profiting Podcasts with your friends and family and on social media. You can find me on Instagram at Yap with Hala or LinkedIn, just search for my name, it's Hala Taha. And now I'm on Clubhouse, I'm hosting rooms in there every single day. Big thanks to the Yap team as always, this is Hala signing off. Are you looking for ways to be happier, healthier, more productive, and more creative? I'm Gretchen Ruben, the number one best-selling author of the Happiness Project.

And every week we share ideas and practical solutions on the Happier with Gretchen Ruben podcast. My co-host and Happiness Guinea Pig is my sister Elizabeth Kraft. That's me, Elizabeth Kraft, a TV writer and producer in Hollywood. Join us as we explore fresh insights from cutting-edge science, ancient wisdom, pop culture, and our own experiences about cultivating happiness and good habits. Every week we offer a try this at home tip you can use to boost your happiness without spending a lot of time energy or money. Suggestions such as follow the one minute rule. Choose a one word theme for the year or design your summer.

We also feature segments like know yourself better where we discuss questions like are you an over buyer or an under buyer? Morning person or night person, abundance lever or simplicity lever and every episode includes a happiness hack, a quick easy shortcut to more happy. Listen and follow the podcast happier with Gretchen Rubin. Hey folks, it's Michael Berry and the flooring in your home sets the tone for that room. Is it a formal room or an informal room? Is it a daytime or an evening room? What's your budget? How much wear and tear is going to come through that room?

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