Young and Profiting with Hala Taha - Lisa Bilyeu: How to Cultivate Radical Confidence, Live Authentically, and Become the Hero of Your Own Life | E213

Episode Date: March 13, 2023

When Lisa Bilyeu was a little girl, she had dreams of making it big in the film industry. After marrying the love of her life, she found herself in a rut as a stay-at-home housewife. Lisa reassessed her life and started living with radical confidence so that she could become the Co-founder and President of Impact Theory. In this episode, Lisa discusses how she gained the confidence to make a complete 180 in her life by going from housewife to co-founder. She will also give the inside scoop on what it’s like to build radical confidence and a billion-dollar company from the ground up!  Lisa Bilyeu is the co-founder of the billion-dollar company Quest Nutrition and the co-founder and President of Impact Theory. She is the host of Women of Impact, a show featuring women who have overcome incredible hardship to achieve massive success. Her mission is to empower all women to become the heroes of their own lives. In her book Radical Confidence, Lisa teaches readers how to dream big, boost their confidence, and “toughen the F up.”  In this episode, Hala and Lisa will discuss:  - How Lisa went from housewife to co-founder of Quest Nutrition - Escaping “the purgatory of the mundane” - When gratitude can become toxic - How Lisa learned to lead a team through rap music - Loyalty vs. blind loyalty - Becoming the hero of your own life - Lisa’s biggest relationship advice - Validation is for parking - Practicing “emotional sobriety” - And other topics… Lisa Bilyeu began her professional career in film, moved briefly into administration, and then, as a founding team member at Quest Nutrition, she took on logistics - building the company’s fulfillment department from scratch and helping facilitate the company’s rise to #2 on the Inc. 500 list of the fastest-growing private companies. She then returned to media helping build the company’s revolutionary in-house media team. As co-founder of Impact Theory, she’s looking to combine her highly developed skills as a creative producer with her drive to help people build things that matter. She is the host of Women of Impact, a show featuring women who have overcome incredible hardship to achieve massive success.  Resources Mentioned: Lisa’s Website: https://www.radicalconfidence.com/ Lisa’s LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lisabilyeu/ Lisa’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/lisabilyeu Lisa’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lisabilyeu/ Lisa’s Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lisabilyeu/ Lisa’s Podcast Women of Impact: ​​https://impacttheory.com/women-of-impact/ Lisa’s Book Radical Confidence: 10 No-BS Lessons on Becoming the Hero of Your Own Life: https://www.amazon.com/Radical-Confidence-No-BS-Lessons-Becoming/dp/1982181419 LinkedIn Secrets Masterclass, Have Job Security For Life: Use code ‘podcast’ for 30% off at yapmedia.io/course. Sponsored By:  LMNT - Get a free LMNT Sample Pack with any order only when you order through DrinkLMNT.com/YAP More About Young and Profiting Download Transcripts - youngandprofiting.com   Get Sponsorship Deals - youngandprofiting.com/sponsorships Leave a Review - ratethispodcast.com/yap Watch Videos - youtube.com/c/YoungandProfiting Follow Hala Taha LinkedIn - linkedin.com/in/htaha/ Instagram - instagram.com/yapwithhala/ TikTok - tiktok.com/@yapwithhala Twitter - twitter.com/yapwithhala Learn more about YAP Media Agency Services - yapmedia.io/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode of YAP is sponsored in part by Shopify. Shopify simplifies selling online and in-person so you can focus on successfully growing your business. Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at Shopify.com-profiting. How many of us say I blinked and then I look around and I'm like how did I end up here? That's how it felt. That I blinked, I had these dreams, I was this young girl that went to film school, I would wake up at 3 in the morning to watch the Academy Award and then I blink and I'm a stay at home wife for 8 years and I'm not happy. It feels like a blink, but that's utter BS. It's never

just a blink. The most successful entrepreneurs are people that actually know when it's time to stop, when it's time to quit, when it's time to let go, not just when it's time to push harder, but you cannot quit on a bad day. Quit anytime you like, you're just not allowed to quit on days where things are going wrong. Do I actually want this or do I just want to quit because it's hard? What is up, young and profitors? You're listening to YAP, a young and profiting podcast where we interview the brightest minds in the world

and unpack their wisdom into actionable advice that you can use in your daily life. I'm your host, Hallitaha. Thanks for tuning in and get ready to listen, learn, and profit. Lisa, welcome to Young & Profiting Podcast. Thanks so much for having me, Jaime. Great to see you. I am very excited for this conversation, so Young & Profiters, if you don't know Lisa Billiou, she's the co-founder of the billion dollar company Quest Nutrition.

She's also the co-founder and president of Impact Theory. She's the host of Women Impact, a show featuring women who have overcame hardship to achieve massive success. And in her book Radical Confidence, she teaches readers how to dream big, boost their confidence, and toughen the F up. And this episode will cover how Lisa gained the confidence to make a complete 360 in her life going from housewife to then co-founder. We'll get the inside scoop on what it's like to build a billion dollar company from the ground up. And throughout it all, we'll get Lisa's best tips for developing radical confidence. So Lisa, from my understanding, you grew up in a Greek orthodox household. I am Arab American. I grew up in New Jersey. you grew up in England, but we have a lot in common in terms of the way that our communities and societies viewed women.

So for me growing up, like one of the main goals of women, Arabic women is to get married and become a housewife. And learning your story, I learned that a lot of the adults around you basically told you like marriage is going to be the way that you're saved. Marriage is going to like have you be the happy person that you want to be and you kind of just got to wait until you get married and then your life is going to get better. So I'd love to understand what were you like as a teenager and how did these messages end up shaping what happened to you later on?

Oh, I love this question so much because a lot of people do kind of almost blame their past, blame their parents, blame the people around them that taught them maybe behavior that didn't actually serve us. So we all know many of us women were taught not to have boundaries, right, to put ourselves last. But the point is I don't look back and blame people. I just try to understand where they come from so that I know how to change. And so to your point about being brought up Greek orthodox, when I ended up being a stay-ahem wife to my husband, I was like, how the hell did I get here? This was the last thing I wanted and yet here I am. And in assessing the messages that I was told

when I was younger, it was things like, I would fall on the floor, scrape my knee as a kid right in your crying. My grandmother's, the way she would console me would be to tell me, it's okay, you'll be better by the time you get married. And so when you think about little subliminal messages like this that girls are getting on the daily,

it's basically telling you your life is the epitome that the whole reason why you're alive, it's fine, just get married and everything will be okay. So I understand why I ended up having a mindset that thought that I should as a woman be a stay at home wife, take care of my husband and have kids. And so like all these little subliminal messages that I got really did shape who I was and then how I showed up every day. And it wasn't until I started to look at my life and was

I happy then I started to establish hang on a minute. I have a belief system that no longer serves me. I have a belief system that doesn't serve my goals on my dreams. And so how do. I have a belief system that doesn't serve my goals and my dreams. And so how do I look at this belief system without making myself feel badly? That's step number one. And that was why I looked back with grace and just say, oh, this is why Lisa.

And then two, what am I gonna do about it? How am I gonna change? What am I gonna pivot? How am I gonna adopt a new belief system? And so that's kind of like a bit of my background to set me up for being that stay at home wife that supported my husband for eight years and thinking that was my purpose.

Yeah. And so I followed you and Tom for a while, you know, I've been in this self-improvement space. And you guys have been married for, I guess, 20 years now, is that right? Yeah. We've been married for 20 and together for 22. Wow. So like that's such a long time. Based on my research, I found out that you guys met in film school and you actually wanted to get into this field and you were going after your dreams.

You guys met at film school. So what happened? Did you just drop that sort of dream and just went into housewife mode? Did you guys actually talk about that or did it just naturally happen? So, this is the utter fear that I live with on a day-to-day basis. It's how many of us say, I blinked and then I look around and I'm like, how did I end up here? That's how

it felt. That I blinked. I had these dreams. I was this young girl that went to film school. I would wake up at 3 in the morning to watch the Academy Awards. And then I blink and I'm a stay-at-home wife for eight years and I'm not happy and I don't identify with the life that I now live. And so it feels like a blink, but that's utter BS. It's not never just a blink. It's small little decisions that we end up making that lead us down a path that we may believe is

the quote unquote right path, the one that we should take, the one that is going to make other people happy. And we do it, at least I'm gonna speak for myself. I did it with a convincing notion that it's not, it's just this one little thing. You're just gonna help your husband out here. You're just gonna stay at home for six months. You're just gonna support him for a little bit.

You're just gonna put his clothes out, right? And it becomes, I'm just gonna sacrifice for a minute. Like, it's not gonna be my entire life. I'm just gonna sacrifice, for a minute. Like, it's not going to be my entire life. I'm just going to sacrifice sacrifice sacrifice sacrifice. And what ends up happen, at least happened to me, is within that sacrifice, we're talking about to go and make enough money so that we could make movies together. So that's where the dreams started. And in that dream is like, cool baby, you're going to go out and we started to do research to see what was the most impressive entrepreneurs out there.

And how did they live on a day to day? Because you can get blinded by the success, and we started to do research to see what was the most impressive entrepreneurs out there and how did they live on a day-to-day? Because you can get blinded by the success, the wealth, all of that, but how do they actually live? So we looked at Steve Jobs at the time, this is around 2003. So we look at Steve Jobs and we're like, how does he live his life? Not like on a high level, but what does an average Wednesday of his life look like? And so we started to study and we'd heard these interviews where he basically always wore that black t-shirt or the black, black pola and a congealed. And the reason was, he was like, I can only make

a certain amount of decisions in the day with utter clarity. And so why the hell would I waste on something like, what am I going to wear? Taking that idea, Tom and I were like, oh, we're partners. All right, babe, you go out on work. I'm going to take care of everything else that all you have to do is wake up. You're close or waiting for you. You Alright babe, you go out and work. I'm gonna take care of everything else that all you have to do is wake up, your clothes are waiting for you. You walk out the door, I hand you breakfast, you come home, dinner is waiting.

And I felt good about being a partner that can make 50% of the decisions in service of a bigger goal that we have together. Now, going back to that small little thing, I said to myself, I could do that. Like that sounds easy, I can put out clothes for my husband cook for him, because in a year we're gonna make movies.

So I just need to do it for like six months. I just need to do it for a year. And then what ends up happening is you start to, at least for me, I found validation in that thing. Because I started to feel worse about myself, because I was like, I don't wanna be fitting clothes out, I started to feel worse about myself, because I was like, I don't want to be putting clothes out, I don't want to be putting cleaning. And we all as humans have a way of self preserving ourselves. And in that moment of as I was starting to cook

and clean, I realized I needed to preserve my self-esteem. And so I started to develop an identity of being an amazing wife. Now what happens is you lean into that identity, even if it doesn't serve you, it makes you feel good. So on the days where you're having really hard time where you're doing stuff, we're like, this was not a dream. I was a kid and I want to be a freaking astronaut. And here I am picking up my kids poop all day, whatever it is. It's like, how do you go back to realigning with that freaking dream? Because now you're not just dealing with the act of cleaning up your kids poop, right? You're actually dealing with something

that's way bigger, which is internal validation versus external validation, which then feeds into your identity. So eight years later, I found myself still cooking and cleaning for my husband and using the idea that it's just for another six to eight to 12 months. And that is how I think all of us get into a repetitive behavior. And then one final thing to add to this is what I call pergatoria the mundane, which is so many of us women will just keep doing it for the greater good, the greater good, the greater good for family, the greater good for our friends, the greater good of like the commitment that we've made and what we end up doing is we don't look at our lives and Our lives are just mundane enough. I'm sure you've interviewed a ton of people where it's like their life goes to crap and they're like on their knees and they've hit rock bottom and in that moment they're like

Well, there's nothing else to lose. Our mails will go for this massive audacious dream and in that becomes the success. But the people that don't have that earthquake, shattering on your knees, what the hell am I doing with my life moment? You self-sude yourself by just getting up the next day and repeating your same behaviour of cooking and cleaning and doing something that doesn't serve you. It's so interesting what you're saying. We all get stuck in the routine, and you can't really see the big picture and something that I heard you say on another one

of your interviews that I thought was really interesting was this idea that you tell yourself you're grateful for the life that you have. When you don't hit rock bottom, you're like, it's not bad enough to complain. How dare I complain that I've got amazing husband, I've got a roof over my head, like I can buy basically whatever I want,

or however you justify why it's okay that you're not living your own identity in your own dream. So I'd love to talk to our listeners about how gratitude isn't always the best thing that you should do. Yeah, this was one of these moments where I was like, oh my God, we're trapping ourselves because we hear something and we're like, oh, this could be really useful, especially when you're an entrepreneur, growth mindset, while you're always looking for that new thing, that new way of improving getting better.

And so I was in this, I mean, I wasn't an entrepreneur back then, but I was trying to, in that moment, in those moments, I'm like, oh my God, I'm a housewife. And again, I need to state there's nothing wrong with being a housewife. It's so damn difficult. I'm saying it as if that wasn't my dream. So in that moment where I realized I'm not living my dream, you find ways as humans to self-soothe. And so how do we self-soothe?

Gratitude has become a piece, which can be beautiful. Right? Any time that you're thinking negative thoughts, anytime you're just like a Debbie Downer and you can't get yourself out of the rut, you better down well use gratitude as a way to pull you out of that. Here I am wallowing in all this stuff when actually I should be so down great for X, Y and Z. It's damn powerful. The problem is people don't talk about where it spills into toxic gratitude. And this is like one of the biggest prisons I didn't realize I was in because I was using this gratitude piece.

And you in the first year was wonderful. In the first year and a half, it was fantastic. In the second year, it was good. By the fourth year, I was like, hmm, by the eighth year, I was like, oh my god, this is what's keeping me stuck because I was repeating the things that I wasn't happy about. And then ignoring it with something I should be grateful for, which what did that end up doing? It made me not actually take action on the things that bothered me. And so in this moment where I'm like, well, you know, I really

don't want to be a stay-at-home wife or you know what? Like, I'm actually really freaking bored. Like, I'm so bored. I don't know what to do with myself. And this wasn't the life that I dreamt of. Immediately, the self-southening part of my brain, jumps in and says, police are, imagine that you weren't in this position. You know, how many people out there would love to not have to work. Right, and this is before quest

when my husband was literally, you know, I was a state of my wife taking over his clothes and food. So every time this voice in my head that was like, you're not happy, you're not happy, you're not happy, you're not happy. I would literally just squash it. We're like, but you're grateful. And so that was where I was like,

oh, I've now used this as it's actually held to me but it hasn't actually helped me propel forward. Yeah, I think that's super, super interesting because it's the discomfort to your point and allowing yourself to hear what the unalignment is in your mind so that you can actually make a change. But if you're always just like, well, like I'm grateful for this, it's like it's okay to feel negative. That's how you actually change and know what you need to change. Yeah, I love it so much because that's how I talk to myself.

Like I'm like, I don't like this. Okay, so what are you gonna do about it? Like, and this is obviously the new me because I never did this before. I make sure that I do do it. I'm like, well, if you don't like it, you have a choice. You have a choice to accept it or you have a choice to actually do something about it. But it's up to you.

Now if you say I choose to do something about it, now you then go down to the next part of what are you gonna do about it, how are you going to do it and how are you gonna hold yourself accountable to saying that you're gonna do it? We just need to actually pause and then decide and then we move forward. But we don't actually realize we have the decision. Yeah, totally. So I wanna move into you building class because a lot of people, Tom, for a while, was sort

of like the face of everything and people don't realize that like you were in the gym. Like you knew it. I mean, like you were helping out the whole time. And you are the co-founder of this company, which is absolutely amazing and super bad ass. And so from my understanding, Quest grew super fast. It's a billion dollar company. And I couldn't imagine like how hectic that must have been. And I really wanted to get an inside view of like, what it was like to be inside a company

that was just scaling so fast where you were one of the leaders of the company. Yeah, thanks. This is one of these really fun and interesting stories because I'm sure most of your listeners will relate to this. When you're in it, it doesn't feel like a cool story. When you're in it, it feels like shit is hitting the fan every single fricking day and you're like

Wonder Woman with your cuffs just trying to freaking block the blows, right? And so it's so beautiful to be I would tell the story afterwards and that has then become something that has allowed me to Embrace the crap when I'm actually in it because I remind myself it never feels great in that moment So it's just been a great like reminder for my future self. So I was a stay-at-home wife for eight years. My husband was miserable, right? He kept trying to chase money, kept trying to chase money, because we had said we were gonna make enough money

so that we can make movies. And so in committed to that goal, he kept doing it. And so he found these guys who were but his business partners, they started to build another company, they all hate it. My husband becomes utterly miserable. And now I must stay at home wife for eight years. He's coming home every single night miserable.

And in that moment, I was like, what have we done? We've changed, we've swapped out a dream for the finance. And now we're being driven by the money, not by the mission or the purpose, which we, back then, it wasn't like people were talking about mission and purpose. So we couldn't really wasn't like people were talking about mission and purpose. So we couldn't really put words to it, but that was the truth. In that moment, when it came to a head, I had to ask myself, what is more important, my marriage or this dream and goal that we've

said we wanted, and the truth was it was my marriage. So for the first time, I poured him aside and I said, babe, this isn't working. And I've lost my joyful husband, and now I'm not living a life that I love. Now, I wasn't at this articulate, right? But like I was stumbling through it in like half tears, and like, I just love you. And like, it's not worth it anymore, you know, that type of thing.

But it really was like, it came to a head where it's like, we are now actually destructively ruining our spirits, and then our spirit, our ruining our relationship. And so in that moment, we realize we're never going to chase money again. And so in that moment, he went into quit this other company with his business partners. And in saying, I no longer want to do this, they admitted they were miserable.

And so as a collective, they said, all right, we'll start a side company and what are we going to do that we actually love? And so for very different reasons, they chose a protein bar. Now as the good wife, my identity hadn't shifted, I was still showing up as the wife that was identifying my husband's not happy. Even in this story, I wasn't saying I wasn't happy, I was saying my husband isn't happy. And so we ended up having that discussion. They, he had the discussion with his business partners and so they all said, oh, let's do a protein bar company. Now, as the good, Greek wife, I was like, babe, how can I help? What can I do? Because they were still trying to exit

their tech company that they hated. So while they were trying to exit the other company, as people may know, right, juggling into companies is really bloody difficult. So when are you going to make protein bars? When are you going to ship them out? And I put my hand up and I was like, oh, I can help. I don't have a job.

I'll help you. What can I do? But I came in as just the wife that was helping. Now, what we didn't predict is that the company would grow at 57,000%. Now at 57,000%, what that looks like is you go from zero to a billion dollars within five years and we've got announced it's the second fastest growing company in North America within the first three years. So now put yourself in my shoes who's been a stay at home wife for eight years decides to just volunteer to help out her husband and his

business partners and then blinks and finds herself in the midst of growing a shipping department because that was where I started. I was like, oh, I can ship fast for my living room floor. I grew into 57,000%. I went from shipping bars for my living room floor one day within a couple of months. I'm taking a big garbage bag of orders over my shoulder and I'm walking to the post office. Within two other months, I've got a garage and I'm shipping out of a garage and having UPS pick it up. So you blink another year later, I've got a 10,000 square foot facility with 40

employees working directly under me. So as somebody who is very insecure, very vulnerable, very sensitive for like I used to be get up bullied as a kid. So with all of this growing up, I just had to learn and I had to learn quickly. And every time I hit a roadblock and I'm surely entrepreneurs can know this, every time you hit a roadblock, there's no one to turn to. There's no one to blame. There's no one to point in the finger at. And because my husband was still trying to sell the tech company, I was the responsible one that everybody was turning to on the daily. And then the final piece is when you have something that is collateral,

that is very valuable to you, you better believe you're going to fight for it. And so we decided we'll put an up our house up for collateral. So if the company lost, we lost our house. And so now you can imagine the wife Lisa, who didn't know how to be a boss, who had never really been an employee before, who really didn't know what she was doing. Every time I hit a roadblock, every time I had to learn a new computer software system, or I had a time where we were able to have a potential to get bars to Justin Bieber in Dubai. And so you can imagine a small business, you get the opportunity for one of the biggest

stars in the universe to hold your product. So now I've set the stage. I have no idea what I'm doing, right? I know how to like print stamps and I hit up my UPS company and I'm like, hey guys, we got to get a food package across the country, across the world, to a country Dubai who already has very strict regulations. Oh, and by the way, we need to do it in 48 hours. Now, across the world, to a country Dubai who already has very strict regulations, oh and by the way we need to do it in 48 hours. Now, in any situation your average employee would go into that situation and they would call up the UPS guy literally said, no sorry it's not possible, they would have put the phone down, they would have gone to their manager and they're like sorry we can't do it. Now when it's your business, when your house is up for collateral, even though

we had no idea what I was doing, in that moment, I could have been petrified, I could have let my self-esteem get in the way, I could have let my ego get in the way of like, I don't know what I'm doing, and this isn't my job, or I can figure it the F out. And so, in that moment, I was like, you just have to figure it the F out, Lisa,

because no one's gonna care about your business more than you. And this wasn't like a deliberate thing, it was just me scrambling to go, well, shit, I can't let people down. Well, shit, I can't lose my house. Well, hell, everyone's relying on me to get these bars out. And so I called up the UPS guy and he said, no, so I said, can I speak to a manager, please? So his manager comes on and his manager's like, oh, no, can't do it. So I was like, can I speak to your manager, please? And so I had a whole list of questions and I just started going, cool, what are the questions I can ask? Where there's nowhere else

for them to go. And so I was like, what paperwork do I have to fill out? What's the cost? Is it, do I have to play, pay double? Do I have to pay triple? Do I have to call the UPS manager myself in Dubai and ask him to keep an eye out for me? Do I have to find an Uber to go to the UPS store to pick it up? up like this is how I thought. And it wasn't that I was educated, it wasn't that I would have had this special talent. It was just that I was so damn driven to find an answer that I wouldn't stop. And so that was how in all the messes that I you know how I went from being the stay-at-home wife to the person you see today where I can very much articulate how I think and why I think and why I do things.

But that's the transition. I didn't start it. I started from an utter mess who had no idea what she was doing and I just figured it out. Let's hold that thought and take a quick break with our sponsors. Young and profitors,

do you have a brilliant business idea but you don't know how to move forward with it? Going into debt for a 4-year degree isn't the only path to success. Instead learn everything you need to know about running a business for free by listening to the Millionaire University Podcast. The Millionaire University Podcast is a show that's changing the game for aspiring entrepreneurs. Hosted by Justin and Tara Williams, it's the ultimate resource for those who want to run

a successful business and graduate rich, not broke. Justin and Tara started from Square One, just like you and me. They faced lows and dug themselves out of huge debt. Now they're financially free and they're sharing their hard earned lessons with all of us. That's right, millionaire university will teach you

everything you need to know about starting and growing a successful business. No degrees required. In each episode you'll gain invaluable insights from seasoned entrepreneurs and mentors who truly understand what it takes to succeed. From topics like how to start a software business without creating your own software, to more broad discussions such as eight businesses you can start tomorrow to make 10K plus a month, this podcast has it all.

So don't wait, now is the time to turn your business idea into a reality by listening to the Millionaire University podcast. New episodes drop Mondays and Thursdays. Find the Millionaire University podcast on Apple Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts. Your dog is an important part of your family. Don't settle when it comes to their health. Make the switch to fresh food made with real ingredients that are backed by science with nom nom nom delivers fresh dog food

that is personalized to your dog's individual needs. Each portion is tailored to ensure your dog gets the nutrition they need so you can watch them thrive. Nom nom's ingredients are cooked individually and then mixed together because science tells us that every protein carb and veggie has different cooking times and methods. This packs in all the vitamins and minerals your dog needs, so they truly get the most out of every single bite. And NOM NOM is completely free of additives, fillers, and mystery ingredients that contribute to bloating and low energy.

Your dog deserves only the best, and Nom Nom delivers just that. Their nutrient-packed recipes are crafted by board-certified veterinary nutritionists, made fresh and shipped to your door. Absolutely free! Nom Nom meals started just $2.40, and every meal is cooked in company-owned kitchens right here in the US, and they've already delivered over 40 million meals, inspiring clean bowls and wagging tails everywhere. Ever since I started feeding my dog Nom Nom, he's been so much more energetic, and he's getting older, he's a senior dog, but now we've been going on longer walks and he's much more playful.

He used to be pretty sluggish and sleeping all the time, but I've definitely noticed a major improvement since I started feeding him nom nom. And the best part, they offer a money back guarantee. If your dog's tail isn't wagging within 30 days, they'll refund your first order. No fillers, no nonsense, just nom nom. Go right now for 50% off your no risk 2 week trial at trinom.com.shap. That's trinom.nom.com.shap for 50% off. trinom.com slash yap. Yeah, I always say like everything is figure outable.

I always approach things with a solution mindset because that's the only way you can get through stuff that you don't have experience in. So speaking of like a little bit of a lack of experience, you were a housewife, turned business woman, started leading a team from my understanding you were working with like ex-convicts, I guess, in the factory. And also men who had several years of business experience and you had to sit in the same room and on the same table.

So how did you deal with imposter syndrome? Oh, dude, this is a great question. So, okay, there's two things. So yes, when we started question nutrition, me and my husband very much believed that we didn't care what your past was because we've all made mistakes. So who are you willing to show up today and be?

And how, how do you willing to work? Who is the person you want to become? And are you showing up every day in service of that person? That's how we thought. And so our first facility was just outside Compton, and so we were like, because my brother, my husband had a big brother for an in-nissity kid. So that was why it was very important to us to make sure that we gave everybody a chance. And so we put, you know, the cool out in the streets. And so before you know it, you have a lot of big beefy dudes that can work in a factory where they can and very easily adapt to a production facility. So for me with shipping, I had a lot of guys that were willing to work very

hard with big muscles and come in and do a lot of manual labor. And so they end up being the most amazing humans. Now the problem is though, is that I had zero experience of being a leader and I'm five foot one and I'm British. So you can imagine you've got these hard core six for five dudes with tats up their arm and not the tats are bad, I freaking love tats. But it's like they can be intimidating.

I'm just gonna be freaking honest. And so originally I was like, well, I have to read leadership books Like do what everyone else tells you so I read show sandbergs Lee, you know lean in I read all the books now at the time It basically was the messaging was be as tough as a guy and so I was like all right Well, I'm gonna freaking lean in and I'm gonna be a freaking tough now Now I would go in the facility and I would just scream, bark, orders, demand.

You know, like I wasn't commanding, I was demanding. And surprise, surprise, I didn't get the best out of my team. And I would see Tom font amazingly well with the same guys and I was like, what is it that he's able to do that I'm unable to? If I just dismiss it because I'm a woman, he's a guy, I'm dead in the water. Well, that doesn't serve me. So I was like, okay, maybe it is,

but it's more than that, the space, it's more than just that. Yeah. So I was like, what is he doing? And I was like, okay, he's being authentic and he's connecting with them in his authenticity. So I stepped back and I was like, okay, well, what do I, what's authentic me?

I freaking love hip hop. I am like, at the age of 15, I was like, okay, well, what's authentic me? I freaking love hip-hop. I am like, at the age of 15, I was like a gangster rapper. And so I freaking love two-park and biggie, like I was in the American pop culture of hip-hop. And these guys were gangsters. And so I was like, well, shit, I'm gonna buy speakers, and this is actually what I did. I bought speakers, I put them in a production facility, and then one day when it became a very big busy day, whenever we would launch a new flavor, it was always like, balls to the walls.

And so I had planned so that when we would, on a busy day, I have my, a comment, but I don't think it was an I put it back then. Anyway, I had the music device, and I played two-pock. And then I blasted it from our production facility and I would go out again, I'm a gangster rapper, I know the lyrics. So I would step out and then British me would start to rap and they would look at me and it did multiple things. A, it made me relatable. B, it made them see me as a human. C, they

realized I was kind of cool. and then B, like, oh, number four wherever I am, they realized that I was, I was looking to change and motivate them, and I was no longer just barking orders at them, I was like, all right people, who can wrap the fastest? And I would make it a game, and it with the music, it became this fun gamification, where my team then ended up freaking loving working hard. And so that was all just me stumbling in the dark by me going, oh, this doesn't work. Do I want to make it work? Yes, what am I going to try? And then being bullish enough to keep trying things until it works.

Yeah, I love that you went out of your way to find common ground, still be authentic. And the thing is that people like people like them. So as soon as they saw like, oh wow, I have this like hip-hop thing in common, maybe she's cool, maybe she's nice, maybe I'll give her a chance. So I love that little story.

Let's talk about you and Tom's loyalty. Because to me, this is really interesting. You were so loyal to him, you were willing to put up your house as interesting. You were so loyal to him, you're willing to put up your house as collateral. You were so loyal to him, you're willing to give up your dream for many, many years. And it seems like for a while, you were so loyal that you lost your identity in him. And so I'd love for you to talk about, I guess the pros and cons, because I know there's a lot of pros to you guys being so loyal to each other. What are the cons and what do we have to be aware of so that we don't go so deep

into our loyalty that we actually lose ourselves? Yeah, there's a massive difference, I think, between loyalty and blind loyalty. And I was just being blindly loyal to serve him without serving myself. And what I realized was that still didn't make for a great relationship, because I wasn't happy. And so I think that that's super-f. I'm still like definitely loyal to my husband. Like I would literally burn my company to the ground in a heartbeat. I wouldn't think twice about it for my husband and he would do the same. And so it became a do you support the person that you're

with and what does support mean and look like? Now that that's where I went wrong. I also wasn't reassessing our game plans. We had planned, okay, we're going to, you know, work for a year, work for 12 months, whatever. And then we're going to make movies, because we've just going to have made all this money. We didn't reassess, right? We just kept going on that train of what we've said we're doing this.

Let's keep going. And I think what makes the most successful entrepreneur is the most successful entrepreneur. And I think that's what I'm going to do. All this money we didn't reassess right we just kept going on that train of what we've said we're doing this Let's keep going and I think what makes the most successful entrepreneurs are people that actually know when it's time to stop When it's time to quit when it's time to let go not just when it's time to push harder It was Nastyil Luchen who is a gold medalist. She said it the best this hit me so damn hard Where she as a gold medalist she was practicing You know as a kid 11 12 years old. It's freaking intense and she goes to her mom one day

She's crying. She's like I hate this. I don't want to do it anymore. And a mom says darling you can quit any time But you cannot quit on a bad day. So she said that's the only rule I have quit on good days Quit anytime you like you're just not allowed to quit on days where things are going wrong. And so what that does is that we orient you to let you know, do I actually want this? Do I like it? Or do I just want to quit because it's hard?

So that's like a very important just no unlike when to quit and when not to. That was something that Tom and I didn't do. We didn't reassess our goal. We didn't reassess our plan. We didn't actually know what a goal was or how to plan a goal. A goal needs a freaking deadline. And so we didn't actually give it a deadline. We just kept punting. So in that punting, I felt like, well, I've committed to my husband. I'm loyal to my husband. I'm loyal to this plan. And God forbid I change. Does that mean I'm no longer loyal and the truth is no of course

it doesn't it means that you actually are just as loyal because you're holding yourself and him accountable to the plan and goal that you guys have set now there's one really freaking important thing here to anyone that's listening that's in a relationship that wants to be in business and a relationship no who you're with that's it it. Know your partner. Because when Tom came to me and said, babe, I'm putting the house on the line. A, I recognize the difference on how me and Tom think. I valued the house because I saw it as my nest. Tom valued the house because he saw it as a nest egg. So when he comes to me and says, babe, I want to put the house on the line. It's because he's like, this is valuable.

This is what's going to get us to our dream because we're putting the thing that's valuable here. But I'm only got the house because it's valuable. I haven't got the house because I love it because I want to like bring up my children here, but I do. So now you can imagine just in this discussion where he comes to me, he says, we want to put the house on the line. If I don't understand where he's coming from, I'm just like, my house, what do you mean? And this is where I think couples really have the friction

where they may be met, they may be have these big dreams, they get married or they settle down and then their ideal of life ends up pivoting or changing. All you think, because you've got to ring on your finger that that changes the trajectory of what you had said the life you were going to live. So when Tom came back and said, but babe, this is like, you know I'm ambitious. In that moment, I'm like, oh, I know the man I married.

I married an ambitious man. And for me to think or for me to even want to change that, I have to really assess that because that is part of what I found sexy in him in the first place. Is that I found the fact that he's driven. he's ambitious, he's got these big massive dreams. And so in order for me to stay true as his partner, I need to encourage that not dampen it. So when he comes to me and says I want to put the house on my line, I need to understand a, why he's saying it, b, is this a surprise to me? No. So now I think, if I had said no, what do

you mean? This is our house, this is our dream. I would be going back on my word as a partner in my word as a wife, because when I got married, I absolutely did commit to marrying and supporting him. And so when I was able to really narrow it like that, and I just ask myself, I can get another bloody house. Who cares? It's like, it's just four walls in a roof. I can get another one of those. I cannot get another Tom. Yeah.

This seven point whatever billion people in the world, I don't think there's only one person for you, but there's one person I've committed my life to, and that's him. And that commitment doesn't change because it's hard. That commitment doesn't change because now he's maybe taking away something and I've been taking away but he wants to gamble with something

that maybe I have an identity attachment to. And that's what it was. It was an identity attachment. This is the house that I was gonna bring my kids up in. Yeah. So you and Tom are so incredible because I feel like because you're so committed, because you're so loyal, you're in such a secure relationship,

I have to imagine that really helps with your confidence, just knowing that like you've got this whole other person who has your back, who will give up anything, kill somebody for you, whatever it is, right? So how does your relationship actually make you feel more confident? Here's the tricky thing is that I did allow my relationship to impact my confidence and actually having gone from being a housewife to being an entrepreneur, I've actually realized that's so damn dangerous

and I've allowed my husband, I've like, I've shackled my husband from that duty because I do think that that's almost not fair on him to say my confidence is going to come from how you show up or how you talk to me or how you behave. It's just a dangerous game because when the more understanding I do about hormones and emotions and things like that, it's a tight rope that I would be walking if I allowed my confidence to come from him.

Yeah. So I realized I had to build it myself and then that came up with, okay, how are you gonna build your own confidence, Lisa? Now look, that is not to say, I definitely will not BS you. Your partner has absolute tremendous power over you and you absolutely have tremendous power over them.

If I told my husband enough that his arms were puny, I know him enough, guaranteed, in two months, he'd be in the gym and he'd be freaking grunting to try and get his arms to be bigger because he would take that as somewhat of a message to him. I think beautiful and I don't think, I think today's society is getting weird about not having this this way of like a

measurement. And so I actually love the measurement with my husband. I seek it with him. And yet I know all at the same time I can't rely on it at all. And so that's why I don't want to be as I say, oh, screw him, all the confidence comes from me. No, no, I know that very realistically that if my husband kept showing up and he kept saying something was like bad or whatever, I would internalize that. Yeah. So it has to be two ways. It has to be both. It has to be seek in your own confidence. And then also even in just confidence in your partner. And in that maybe you're not asking this question, but I'd love to just drop this little thing on just like jealousy. You have to be confident in yourself that your partner isn't going to go out and seek someone else. Now, here's the thing, if they do, it is nothing to do with you. Yeah. And look, I cannot speak for other people and maybe somebody's listening right now. They're like, what are you talking about? At least,

that isn't my situation. But that is how I've processed it. Because if my husband goes, I cannot control him, which is why I'll never get obsess obsessive which is why I refuse to ever be jealous Which is why as we're building quest? I'm sure you can imagine all of a sudden he gets more no Territory he gets a little bit more famous people start to know who he is he starts to get way more wealthy He starts to get more into his health in his body you go to these events right? You're like a billion-dollar company, oh my god, he's the co-founder, he's hot, if I can just say so. And you get women in bikinis

that are absolutely flirting with him. Now, I could sit here and go, these bitches, that doesn't do anything to me, that just brings more anger and hate inside me. I could be like, what the hell is my husband talking to them? That doesn't help my relationship. Or I can say Lisa, if he seeks external, like, satisfaction, then he's not right for you. And every day it isn't that I'm easy to say, but you better believe I repeat that to myself, because I cannot, under any circumstances, allow my husband's actions to ever impact the work I do on myself on a fricking daily basis. So people literally will joke. I joke. He could be walking down the dam street

with his arm around the woman. Someone could take a photo and send it to me. And I'd be like, oh, it must have been a fan. She must have been crying. You know, and so he was just walking her to the shop because she was in tears. Like, I would never go straight to jealousy because I won't allow myself to get there.

Because the second that I'm jealous, it means that either I don't trust him, which remember I can't control him, or I think less of myself and screw that. I've been there, I spent my entire teenager that years there and I won't ever do that again. Yeah, and I have to say that jealousy is a very unattractive quality.

So the last thing that you want to do with your significant other is be jealous because they're actually going to think even subconsciously that you're less because you are being jealous or you have a reason to feel threatened or something. So I totally agree with that. So I know you basically believe that you are the hero of your own life, but it wasn't always that way. For a while, you were having Tom sort of be the hero of your life. And you felt like you needed him all the time.

And you were a little bit dependent on him. Previous to basically a wake up call that you had after a health scare. So I'd love for you to tell us a little bit about some of the health problems that you had and how that really helped you make a big transformation in terms of your mindset. Yeah, I'm not sure how far back you want me to go, but I can give a very quick recap for my health situation,

because that might help the context. So growing up, I had a mother who was borderline anorexic and then in my teenage years, she swung very hard in the other way and when it was clinically obese. And she used food as a way to either soothe herself, to punish herself, to get validation, and I just grew up with that idea. And so because I was teased, because I was bullied, I never

wanted to be mocked or teased. So I was like, well, I'm just going to have to stay skinny, as skinny as possible. Now, of course, that ends up with a very unhealthy mindset. It has, it leads to a very unhealthy relationship with food. I don't realize, though, what it's actually doing to my body. And we start quest. I am very insecure. So I think to myself, I have to work more hours than anybody else because at that moment in that time,

I thought that the more hours I work, the more validation points I would get. And so I was the person that was 14 hours, 15 hours, 16 hours a day. If I have to do it, then I'll do it without complain without any, you know, like I just thought that that's what I had to do in order to gain respect. And in that effort in doing that, not realizing that my, your gut holds, was it 70% of your immune system, I kept getting sick a lot. And in that sickness, I was doctors were giving me antibiotics. Now, you do that for year after year after year after year.

It came to a point, Questes announced as a billion dollar company, we actually get the dream house or we would drive around Beverly Hills on days where we really were like, what the hell are we doing in hand? It's every day, we have no idea what we're doing, making a protein bar,

we would drive around Beverly Hills as our motivation. So cut to years later, we finally get the house in Beverly Hills, like the actual dream has come true. We get a bottle of champagne, we're in, like it's the dream come true, we open the bottle, I take a swig of the champagne, and in that moment all I can say is it felt like my gut erupted.

Now this was seven years ago, I'm still on the journey back to health to give you an idea of how bad it got. Now the reason why I brought up what day it happened on is it couldn't have actually happened on the better day because on that day of like the height of our success, I realized, oh, actually it doesn't mean anything if you don't have your health.

Now for a year after that moment, I could about eat four or five ingredients, which meant that I was extremely malnutritioned. My hair was falling out. I could barely stand up longer than five minutes at a time. I was about 20 pounds lighter than you see me now. And it got to the point where my health was so bad, it just hurt to have intimacy. And it hurt, I mean, it hurt to stand up. So you can imagine a, what that would do to any relationship.

My husband is so kind and so supportive that immediately he was like, cool babe, I'm gonna adopt your diet. And he was like, if you can't eat cake, I'm not gonna eat cake. And so it was like, it would be his birthday and he'd be like, no, I'm not having cake. He's like, I'm gonna have an scrambled egg, like you.

Because that's what, you know, so he was so damn supportive. And so, but within that support, what I ended up doing is just turning to him. And so every time I was down, every time I was feeling bad, every time I was having an emotional reaction to something, I just thought, well, he's here to support. And it got to the point where when it's a health condition and when it becomes this thing, time over time and time again, he really did pull me aside and basically said, hey, look, you're just leaning into your emotions more.

And as in business, he's like, you're going to erode your credibility as a leader because you're showing up emotional. Now, the thing between me and my husband is is that we've got the commitment that would always be honest with each other, even when it's hard to say. So in that moment, I was like, shit, I was leaning on was leaning on him to always be my barometer. And that wasn't fair on him.

And I realized I was holding myself back. And then the added thing was I was doing the same to doctors. I was turning to my husband for the support and be the expert in my emotions. And I was turning to the doctors to fix my gut. And in that, I was never going inward. I was never saying, Lisa, how do you feel? And I was blindly following doctors that when they would tell me, Lisa, stop eating red meat. That's what they told me. Stop eating red meat and eat raw vegetables.

It sounded like, you know, when you get that emotional trigger before you even have a chance to think about it. Yeah. That trigger in my head was like, oh my God, that isn't gonna work. But I ignored it. I ignored my gut. No pun it. I ignored my gut. No pun intended.

I ignored my gut instinct. I blindly followed the doctor and exactly what I predicted happened happened. I was in utter gut disarray. And so you combine all of these things where I'm turning to my husband. I'm turning to the doctor. I'm turning to everyone for expert. And I wasn't getting better. And what I realized was in this one moment

where I was on my knees, I was in the middle of a photo shoot and I get this massive gut pain. Again, guys, it's so bad, I have to, I fall to my knees. So I'm in this photo show, I'm trying not to fall to my knees in front of everyone, I'm in utter agony, I excuse myself because of course, in those days as a woman, I couldn't tell people that I was in pain. So I just excuse myself, I run up to my bedroom

and I fall to my knees, actually clutching my stomach. I can barely breathe. So I'm like, God's being full like, air. I grab my phone and me and my husband, we have rules of engagement. I can ignore your phone. Cool, if you call me once. I can ignore your phone, cool.

If you actually call me twice. If you call me three times in a row and I'm interviewing Oprah on Michelle Obama, I've got to say sorry, oh, I've got to go. My husband's calling me. That's where that's all agreement because that means the world is crumbling. So I'm on my knees. I can barely breathe. I grab my phone and I call my husband once. He ignores me. I call him twice. He ignores me. I'm like, okay, I knew it. I call him a third time. I'm like, okay, he's gonna answer.

He doesn't answer. And so now, in this moment, I'm on my knees, and I'm like, I need my husband, I need my husband, I need my husband, but because he doesn't answer, I go, okay, you got a choice. You stay on your knees, Lisa, or you get up. And so I was like, well, shit, you're the hero of your own damn life. Get the fuck up. And so I was like, well, shit, you're the hero of your own damn life.

Get the fuck up. And so that is exactly what I did. And in that moment, it changed my life forever. It made me realize I was waiting to be saved by everybody else. I was waiting to be saved by my dad's growing up. I was waiting to be saved by my husband. I was waiting to be saved by the doctors. And yet, this one little moment where I just said, get the fuck up, I did. And I was like, oh my god, I'm my own hero. And that,

that one idea literally echoed into every single thing I do as a leader, as an entrepreneur, as a wife, as a daughter, as a friend, as a sister, and as a host. We'll be right back after a quick break from our sponsors. as a wife, as a daughter, as a friend, as a sister, and as a host. We'll be right back after a quick break from our sponsors. Hear that sound, young and profitors? You should know that sound by now, but in case you don't, that's the sound of another sale on Shopify. Shopify is the commerce platform that's revolutionizing millions of businesses worldwide. Whether you sell edgy t-shirts or offer an educational course like me, Shopify simplifies selling online and in person so you can focus on successfully growing your business. Shopify is packed with industry

leading tools that are ready to ignite your growth, giving you complete control over your business and brand without having to learn any new skills in design or code. And Shopify grows with you no matter how big your business gets. Thanks to an endless list of integrations and third party apps, anything you can think of from on-demand printing to accounting to chatbots, Shopify has everything you need to revolutionize your business. If you're a regular listener, you probably know that I use Shopify to sell my LinkedIn secrets masterclass.

Setting up my Shopify store just took me a few days. I didn't have to worry about my website and how I was going to click payments and how I was going to trigger abandoned cart emails and all these things that Shopify does for me was just a click of a button. Even setting up my chat bot was just a click of a button. It was so easy to do. Like I said, I just took a couple of days. And so it just allowed me to focus on my actual product and making sure my LinkedIn masterclass was the best it could be. And I was able to focus on my marketing. So Shopify really, really helped me make sure that my masterclass was going to be a success right off the bat and enabled focus. And focus is

everything when it comes to entrepreneurship. With Shopify single dashboard, I can manage my orders and my payments from anywhere in the world. And like I said, it's one of my favorite things to do every day is check my Shopify dashboard. It is a rush of dopamine to see all those blinking lights around the world showing me where everybody is logging on on the site. I love it. I highly recommend it. Shopify is a platform that I use every single day and it can take your business to the next level. Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at Shopify.com.sash.Profiting. Again, go to Shopify.com.sash.Profiting all lowercase to take your business to the next level today. Again, that Shopify.com.sash.profiting, Shopify.com-sash-profiting, all lowercase. This is Possibility powered by Shopify.

Yeah, bam. If you're ready to take your business to new heights, break through to the 6 or 7 figure mark or learn from the world's most successful people, look no further because the Kelly Roach show has got you covered. Kelly Roach is a best-selling author, a top-ranked podcast host, and an extremely talented marketer. She's the owner of NotOne, but 6th-ranked podcast host, and an extremely talented marketer. She's the owner of NotOne, but six thriving companies, and now she's ready to share her knowledge and experience with you on the Kelly Roach show.

Kelly is an inspirational entrepreneur, and I highly respect her. She's been a guest on YAP. She was a former social client. She's a podcast client, and I remember when she came on Young & Profiting and she talked about her conviction marketing framework, it was like mind blowing to me. I remember immediately implementing what she taught me in the interview in my company and the marketing efforts that we were doing. And as a marketer, I really, really respect all Kelly has done,

all Kelly has built. In the corporate world, Kelly secured seven promotions in just eight years, but she didn't just stop there. She was working in 95. And at the same time, she built her eight figure company as a side hustle and eventually took it and made her full-time hustle. And her strategic business goals led her to win the prestigious Inc. 500 award for the fastest growing business in the United States. She's built an empire. She's earned a life-changing wealth. And on top of all that, she's earned a life-changing wealth. And on top of all that, she maintains a happy marriage and a healthy home life. On the Kelly Road Show, you'll learn that it's possible to have it all.

Tune into the Kelly Road Show as she unveils her secrets for growing your business. It doesn't matter if you're just starting out in your career or if you're already a seasoned entrepreneur. In each episode, Kelly shares the truth about what it takes to create rapid, exponential growth. Unlock your potential, unleash your success, and start living your dream life today. Tune into the Kelly Road Show available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts. I love that. And I'm super happy it seems like your

God Health is a little bit more under control. Yeah, it's just one of these things. I realized long, long time ago that we all tried to seek perfection. And I was like, when I'm better, and I was like, well, Lisa, hang on a minute, maybe you'll never get better. And that's fine. That's actually okay. What I seek is progression.

And so today, what am I going to do better today? What am I going to do better tomorrow? And if I'm never going to be 100% better, how am I going to keep showing up to live in my true authenticity? And when I say that, I mean to go out and crush my goals and be a freaking badass and show up with aggression and still love myself and do self care. And so with all of that combination, yeah, it's pretty much who I show up to be today. And I still have to navigate when I travel. I have to take all my supplements. I have to call restaurants. I still have to navigate when I travel, I have to take all my supplements, I have to cool restaurants, I still have to ask for oils they use like it's not, I still deal with it on a day-to-day basis. I just don't let it dictate my life, I don't let it take over

and I just see it as part of who I am instead of this part of me that I wish wasn't there. Yeah, I love that. So I've been having a lot of power couples on the show, so I recently had Alex and Leila Hermosi, Grant and Elena Cardone, and Lisa, I have one half of a power couple. Also, I hope to have Tom on soon so I can have three power couples in a row on the show that'd be so much fun. So I wanna understand, and I know we're like

writing out of time, but I have so much more to ask you. I wasn't gonna ask you this, but since you and Tom were such a great couple, you've been together for 22 years. I don't like taking relationship advice from, but since you and Tom are such a great couple, you've been together for 22 years. I don't like taking relationship advice from people who don't actually seem happy and you guys do seem really happy. So I want to understand some of your top tips to keep a happy relationship and keep it sexy.

All right, so top tips is number one, you're always going to evolve. So any rules of engagement, any agreements that you've had last year may not still actually mesh with who you are today. And in this platform that you're using, I assume a lot of us have the growth mindset. So that should be no surprise when it comes to business. But for some reason, we still find ourselves surprised when it comes to relationships. And so it is imperative that you guys are always asking each other regular questions. And if it has to be the same questions

and it can be the same questions. But for instance, some of the hard questions that we in Tom ask each other is, what was the thing that I used to do for you that I don't do for you now that you wish I brought back? Or what is the thing that you that I've evolved into that you are concerned about? Like all the really freaking hard questions,

so that you never find yourself surprised. So that's number one. Number two is don't assume you guys are the same. So how, especially if you're both entrepreneurs, you and the guys are not gonna be the same. My husband works way more than I do. I go to around 12 to 14 hours, that's my card of point. I just, I don't find it interesting anymore.

I don't enjoy it. I end up hating my life. But some can work 18 hours and be the most excited human on the earth. And I've learned to disconnect my validation to being that. Oh, I've got to keep showing up because he does. So separating how you show up and being okay with that and then how your plant shows up and then that not being a reflection of you or how you feel. And then communication. when I say communication,

I know that that's very, everyone says that, but what Tom and I do is we actually have a dictionary of defining terms. So what I mean by that is, if you use the word important, that if you actually say this is important to me, Tom would leave his photo, his shoes, so he's downstairs right now, he's got a shoe. He would leave his shoe in the middle of it if I said important why because we've actually defined what that word means to us which means that we never abuse it. So this means that if I say Tim hey this is important he drops everything he shows up for me no matter what that is an important like definition to have because now imagine you guys aren't on the same page and you let's say right you use important five times a day well if you say it to me, I interpret that word in a

very fricking different way. And what people do is they kind of leave it loose. So like, yeah, we've had the discussion. No, no, no, no, don't do us discussion. Actually write it down. This word means this to both of us. Love that. So that's super important. And then the biggest thing really is defining your values. So I think where a lot of people get like in little arguments, but I'm just going to pick a stupid one that actually ends up being the thing that breaks marriages, the dishes are the bed, right? The most people I hear, the women want the dishes done, the guys don't really care. So I just used to think, well, I was

brought up in a Greek religion, I was taught that of course you make your bed, so my husband's going to make the bed, if he's the last one out. And so we used to clash really clash really clash and then until we had what does it actually mean to you? So this is what I mean by core value. What does making the bed mean to you? Instead of going it's a freaking bed. Just make it right now. I'm dismissing what it means to him.

Now I'm dismiss. I'm actually being a bit on my high horse. Like I'm looking down as like you don't want to make the bed. So being aware of that, being aware of how you approach things and then why. So why is the bed important to you, Lisa? The answer was because I was brought up to believe the first thing you do in the morning is make your bed

that sets your day up for success. Now the other thing is I have somewhat of a bit of OCD, like I find it hard to actually focus when my environment is messy. Okay, that's my value. I have to make the bed because when things are messy around me, it's hard for me to concentrate and, you know, show up. Well, what's my husband's value? He was tall, he's like, babe, there's only 24 hours in a day. If you want to take up seven seconds of that 24 hours, now it goes against my value system. Because like Steve Jobs, he's saying, how does me make in the bed allow me to get to my dream, my goals or fill my ambition. And so now you can understand when you poke it down

to what does the bed mean to you, We're not really arguing about the bed. We're arguing about he thinks I'm being dismissive to the value of time. And he feels dismissive to me to what I need to focus. So now you can imagine couples are always fricking arguing about the bed, but they're not actually realizing what they're arguing about. Now once I understand the value, the value system in what he sees the bed making as in the value system of what I do, now I literally say to him, well, okay, caught, I understand that making the bed

now no longer serves you, but I still want to make the bed. So what conclusion do we get to? So I was like, caught, I'll just make the bed. Now, the knock on effect was he comes in and he's like, baby, you just bloody made the bed. It takes me seven seconds to on make the bed. He actually said, it takes me seven seconds to on make the bed because I got to put your because we have different bed sheets because we like to we have different habits. So he's like, I got to give you your bed sheet back and I got to put my one back and I got to move the pillows

around. And he's like, it's a freaking waste of energy. So again, I just addressed it, I didn't dismiss him, I didn't, because if you don't hear why, people couldn't dismiss this, this is the most ridiculous conversation I've ever had. You guys are talking about the bed in this way, yes. You wanna know how we've been able to build multiple, huge, multi-figure successful businesses

and be married for 20 years, is because we don't dismiss stuff like making the bed. And so in unmaking the bed, we then came up with another conclusion. I said, Corbae, but I still need the bed needs. So what I'm going to do is I won't touch your side of the bed. Right. So he's got his own blankets. What if I take my side of my dovet and cover your side? Now, you don't have to do anything. You literally unpeel one side. That takes you two seconds. How do you feel about that? Is that all right that I can do?

So I was like, great. So now the funny thing is if you go up stairs into my bedroom, we have a king size bed. One size has a massive lump because that's his side to the bed. But I'm not allowed to touch it. Not allowed. It's not true. We came up with the agreement that this is how we both show up and do the bed together. And now you better believe we never freaking argue about the bet again.

I love it. It's the small things that really matter. So one of their last question before we wrap this up, you've mentioned validation multiple times. And I know that your big believer that you really can't get your validation externally. So I'd love for you to share that lesson with us. Oh, good. Yeah. Validation is for parking. That's what I basically say. It's like it should be nowhere else. Look, it is totally natural. I totally understand. I think most of us do. And that's where I think we get trapped. And so I think A, we need to identify where do

we get that validation from with zero judgment. Like we've got to give ourselves the damn grace and the zero judgment. And that's what I did. Okay. I got my validation by being a Greek wife. Okay. I understand where that came from. It came from my grandparents, it came from my dad, who were very traditional, cool, but I just put it there. I get my validation from being a great wife because my dad compliments me.

Right, like everyone was complimenting what an amazing wife I was. So once I identified it, I said, cool. I don't be myself up, but I understand why this doesn't serve me because I no longer wanna be a stay-at-home wife. So I just assessed it and I said, cool, can you still be an amazing wife but not have to put clothes out for your husband and clean for your husband? And I said, yes,

great, what does that look like? So I just lay down, would it look like to me to be a great wife without it holding me back for my dreams? And so I wrote what that meant. And so I was now able, I was taken over and I was taken control of my own validation. And I said, if I do these things, do I feel good about myself as a good wife? Yes, great. Then I'm just saying with business,

is that if we can all get external validation, especially in the business that we're in, where if you get a lot of likes, a lot of views, a lot of great comments, you feel great about yourself, you can't bullshit that. And if you've done and you put a piece of content out, and everyone's like, oh my god, this interview is decent, it was horrendous, what were you thinking,

never interview her again? Whether you like it or not, you're gonna feel a little bad. You're gonna, oh man, I missed the mark. Now the question is, how do you make sure that that isn't about you, that it's not a personal thing? That's where the validation comes, right? Well, we internalize it about being about us.

That's taking the external validation and allowing it to penetrate. Instead, you take the sting and you go, what can I learn from this? And what can I do better next time? And when you show up and do better next time, what you've done is you've built internal validation, the other type of person that said,

I can do better next time and you showed up and did better. It's now not about the likes, the comments, the things, because that's gonna be inevitable. No, the better you do, the bigger you get, the more people are gonna wanna push you down, that's gonna be inevitable. How do you not get trapped? You use this as a way to build the internal validation that when something terrible happens and you put out something that people fricking despise.

You still, in that moment, could go holy shit. I'm great, because I going to take these lessons and I'm going to improve. I love that. I feel like I could talk to you for so much longer Lisa, you were such a pleasure to drop so many bombs. So the last questions that I asked, oh my guess the first one is what is one action will think that our young and profitors can do today to become more profiting tomorrow. Be honest with exactly where you are today

and where you want to go and what that gap is. Because without that utter honesty, you're not going to be able to know clearly with clarity what skill sets you have to gain. I love that. It can get in the way, basically, right? You'd be like, oh, you can do this. Can you?

Or do you have to learn? Like, that's what I mean by where are you now, where you go and what is that gap? I love that, assessing your gaps, making sure you learn the right skills. And what is your secret to profiting in life and profiting can mean money relationships, overall wellbeing?

Oh, it's something that I like to call emotional sobriety. So I can allow my emotions to get in my way. I'm just gonna be honest. I am very empathetic. I have a big heart, so I feel a lot. I I can allow my emotions to get in my way. I'm just going to be honest, I am very empathetic. I have a big heart, so I feel a lot, I have a lot of emotions, and yet I have a very strong business mind. And so for me, it was, how do I practice the skill of emotionally stabilizing myself in moments that are deeply upsetting, deeply frustrating, something that may want to bring me to my knees in the middle of a meeting where let's say somebody is either talking down to me or I feel the

imposter syndrome. How do I emotionally regulate in those very moments? Is the biggest skill set, I think, any entrepreneur can should adopt because everything else can be learned. You can google share, you can learn other things. That is a thing that I think so many of us find hard to regulate. And I think that's the shit that gets in most of our ways because we take things personally. We want to get, you know, we want to show up, we want to prove ourselves and the emotion piece. You get that right.

I think you're on a great path. I love that. That's some great advice, Lisa. Where can everybody learn more about you and everything that you do? Ah, thanks, Hermie. So Instagram, I'm definitely on Instagram. I love Instagram stories. There's a lot behind the scenes. I have amazing conversations with women on my show called Women of Impact. So that's podcast and YouTube. Yeah. And then my book, Radical Confidence, is where I really do take everything I've just said and concretized it into actionable steps, because going back to my emotions when I'm in that moment of overwhelm stress, imposter syndrome,

what am I doing with my life? I need a game plan. I can't think my way out of it or emotionally get myself out of it. I need a game plan. I can go to time and time again. And that's basically what that book is. So it's called radical confidence, because you don't actually need the confidence, you just need to understand how to show up every day to get competent enough to then gain confidence. Yeah, and I have to say, guys, Radical Confidence is a great read.

You guys should pick it up, but put the link in the show notes. I'll put the link to you, women of impact in the show notes as well. Lisa, you wrapped it. Thank you so much. No, thanks, Amy. This has been so fun.

Lisa, Lisa Lisa Lisa I love that I've been able to interview more self-made women on the show. Lisa co-founded a billion dollar unicorn company, Quest Nutrition with her husband Tom Bill U. I mean how badass is that? And it was really inspiring to hear Lisa's story. I didn't really know her background before she came on the show. And I loved learning about what she calls the purgatory of the mundane, or settling in life because life is just good enough and comfortable. Lisa says being in the purgatory of mundane is even more dangerous than hitting rock bottom

because how the hell do you wake yourself up from that? A lot of us are pushed to make changes when we hit rock bottom when our backs are against the wall, when we've got nothing to lose. But if we're not careful, if things are going okay, life can continue on in a direction until one day we wake up and realize that we actually wanted something different and time is the most valuable thing that we have in life. Take a second and reflect on where you are in life.

Could you be in your own purgatory of the mundane? Are you really fulfilling your full potential and pushing yourself? Or are you bored? If things are not horrible, if things are okay, even good, that doesn't mean that your life couldn't be a lot better. And remember, it doesn't make you ungrateful to want more and to be more in life. Like Lisa mentioned earlier in the interview, gratitude can be toxic if you use it as an excuse to never improve or change.

Thanks for listening to this episode of Young & Profiting Podcasts with Lisa Billio. If you enjoyed this episode, make sure you drop us a 5 star review on Apple and let me know what your biggest takeaways were. Tell us how you listen, learn, and profit it. Writing a review is the number one way to support us here at Young & Profiting Podcast. If you like to watch your podcast, check us out on YouTube. You can also find me on social media, you can reach out to me on my Instagram at Yap with Hala or LinkedIn, you can search for my name. It's Halataha. Big thanks to my incredible production team at Yap Media, I appreciate all your hard work.

This is your host, the podcast princess, Halataha, signing off. Are you looking for ways to be happier, healthier, more productive, and more creative? I'm Gretchen Ruben, the number one best-selling author of the Happiness Project. And every week, we share ideas and practical solutions on the Happier with Gretchen Ruben Podcast. My co-host and Happiness Guinea Pig is my sister Elizabeth Kraft. That's me, Elizabeth Kraft, a TV writer and producer in Hollywood. Join us as we explore fresh insights from cutting-edge science, ancient wisdom, pop culture, and our own experiences about cultivating happiness and good habits.

Every week we offer a try this at home tip you can use to boost your happiness without spending a lot of time energy or money. Suggestions such as follow the one minute rule. Choose a one word theme for the year or design your summer. We also feature segments like know yourself better where we discuss questions like are you an over buyer or an under buyer? Morning person or night person, abundance lever or simplicity lever? And every episode includes a happiness hack,

a quick, easy shortcut to more happiness. Listen and follow the podcast, Happier with Gretchen Ruben. When you look around your home, what makes you smile? Personal touches, beautiful light, lines, colors, things of quality that enhance your life. California Clause Ed specializes in making space for what belongs, with richly textured finishes and quality materials that last.

From the bedroom to the pantry to the mudroom, everything we do is custom-designed, built and installed by people who take pride in serving you. Think of it as practical magic. Book your free design consultation today at californiaclauseids.com practical magic. Book your free design consultation today at californiaclosets.com