Young and Profiting with Hala Taha - Nicole Moore: Finding Love and Strengthening Your Relationships | E102

Episode Date: February 14, 2021

Want guidance on your love life?   In today’s episode, we are talking with Nicole Moore, a life coach, podcaster, and celebrity love expert. She is the CEO and Founder of the Love Works Method, where she has helped thousands of women find their ideal partner. She has been a contributor to Forbes, People Magazine, The List, Today, and more.   In today’s episode, we chat about Nicole’s childhood, how her perception of love has changed over time, and why she decided to become a love coach. We’ll then dive deeper into personality types to watch out for, how you know when to walk away, the ways to find connection virtually during the pandemic, and how to maintain and strengthen relationships during COVID.   Social Media:    Follow YAP on IG: www.instagram.com/youngandprofiting Reach out to Hala directly at [e-mail] Follow Hala on Linkedin: www.linkedin.com/in/htaha/ Follow Hala on Instagram: www.instagram.com/yapwithhala Follow Hala on ClubHouse: @halataha Check out our website to meet the team, view show notes and transcripts: www.youngandprofiting.com   Timestamps:   01:09 - Nicole’s Perception of Love as a Child 05:07 - Common Childhood Problems That Affect Adulthood Love 08:16 - Why Nicole Switched to Love Coaching 15:05 - How to Tell When Someone is a Narcissist 19:21 - Personality Types to Look Out For 23:36 - How to Know When to Walk Away 27:02 - Steps to Take When You Have a Breakup 30:24 - Is Marriage Necessary? 35:29 - Is Tinder a Viable Option for Dating? 37:49 - How to Make a Connection on Zoom 41:15 - Advice on Eye Contact to Connect with Someone 42:25 - How to Exude Good Energy on Dates 45:39 - Explanation of Love Water 47:57 - Why People Breaking Up More Frequently During COVID 50:34 - Tips to Survive Relationships During COVID 52:31 - Nicole’s Secret to Profiting in Life   Mentioned in the Episode:   Nicole’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nicolemoorelove/ Nicole’s Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/love-works-with-nicole-moore/id1372248881 Nicole’s Website: https://loveworksmethod.com/ Nicole’s Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC2SVED18Zs6jAofSCMIyHbQ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Welcome to the show. I'm your host, Halla Taha, and on Young and Profiting Podcast, we investigate a new topic each week and interview some of the brightest minds in the world. My goal is to turn their wisdom into actionable advice that you can use in your everyday life, no matter your age, profession, or industry. There's no fluff on this podcast, and that's on purpose. I'm here to uncover value from my guests by doing the proper research and asking the right questions. If you're new to the show, we've chatted with the likes of XFBI agents, real estate moguls, self-made billionaires, CEOs, and bestselling authors.

Our subject matter range is from enhanced in productivity, had to gain influence, the art of entrepreneurship, and more. If you're smart and like to continually improve yourself, hit the subscribe button, because you'll love it here at Young & Profiting Podcast. This week on YAP, we're chatting with Nicole Moore, a celebrity love coach and body language expert who helps powerful people find their ideal partners through her love works method. Nicole uses her buzzing YouTube, Instagram, and podcast channels to inform love hungry fans about her methods and experience.

She's been featured in Netflix, Forbes, Money Magazine, People Magazine, and Inc.com. In today's episode, we chat about Nicole's childhood and how that impacted her love life as an adult, and will understand why she decided to become a love coach. We'll then dive deeper into the bad personality types to watch out for, went to walk away from a relationship, and the best methods to find the love of your life or strengthen your current relationship during the COVID-19 pandemic. Hi Nicole, welcome to Young and Profiting Podcast. I'm so excited to be here. Thank you for having me. Me too. So I found you on Instagram.

You are a podcaster and you're also a love coach. And I absolutely thought this would be the perfect Valentine's Day episode. So really excited to talk to you about everything related to love and how we can find the right love and there's so much to unpack here. But first I want to start with your childhood. My research team told me that

you were actually a twin and when you were born you had a lot of complications. And in fact your mother was very aloof and distant with you and it wasn't until you were 26 years old that you first told her that you loved her and that you guys said I love you. Yeah, she's great. Yeah, so that's pretty deep. I know I'm going in pretty deep right in the beginning. That's how we do that young and profiting podcast because of the chase. So I want to understand like, what was your perception of love like growing up

and how did that shape you and how you feel about love now? Yeah, it's like the game chose me, you guys. Because this time felt as a kid. So obviously my mom had her own issues my dad had his own issues like It's not their fault, right? But they did not express like I didn't hear I love you there was an affection So I literally remember as a child looking around at other families and just thinking like oh Well, they must have a loving family and we don't so I believed as a child that my parents just didn't love me, that they just didn't care about me enough. And of course I believe that and I could

pull stories to prove that. I'm sure through their lens they could pull stories to prove that they did. But it doesn't matter. That's what I was feeling. That's what I was vibrating. And it was a really big core wound for me. So of course, when I went out to start dating, I was dating from a place of I need love, I need love, I don't have love. And so, I attract a lot of the wrong people. But, I was always kind of interested in love, obviously, because I think when you have a big lack or a big wound in the beginning of your life, it makes you curious.

So, I was first seeking the wrong ways, I was seeking through other people to feel the void. When I realized that didn't work, then I said, I have to figure out how to make love work. My company is called LoveWorks, right? And, like, I gotta figure out how to make love work. My company is called love works right and like I gotta figure out how to make love work. I gotta fill myself up with this love thing. I have to figure out what it really means to love and be loved and so the thing with my mom saying I love you I'd gone to a seminar called landmark education I think it was landmark education and you know they like make you do a lot of stuff with your family and so that was a big moment for me of just telling her I love her and because she never said it And she literally said me too now she does I'm 36 now so 10, you know now. She'll say I love you

I think having a grandchild also kind of helped her open up and she because she loves my son so much But it was a moment for me where I had to say it and she didn't say it back I'm saying that because I think it's an important topic in terms of love. Like sometimes you got to risk and you got to do it for you and you can't expect the other person to reciprocate but you're taking that action. Me saying that to her unlocked a lot of stuff for me. But I'm a love coach not because it went swimmingly for me. I'm a love coach because you better down believe I suffered.

If you're suffering suffering I get it I can cry with you because I did those things too. I just put in a lot of time and energy into figuring out how to make it work Now it's so interesting because Culturally my parents are Palestinian and also they didn't tell me that they loved me very much growing up, but that's because in the Arabic culture you don't say love unless it's romantic. And so for them, it was like inappropriate to say that, especially my father, to tell me that he loved me. But I always knew that he loved me through the actions that he took, like he was a very

loving guy. So I didn't really feel like he didn't love me, but I used to, I used to also feel strange and be like, well, why don't my parents tell me that they love me? Everybody says I love you that I know and my parents don't say that to me. But oftentimes it's cultural differences too. I didn't know that about the Arabic culture. See, that's like fascinating to me to learn that information. I mean, love means so many different things and so many different cultures. But I think it's like, I don't know. I think also just people for a long time were not realizing the impact that they had on their children. There's been this vibe for a long time of I'm just feeding you. I'm just taking

care of you, but I think we're waking up as a culture to what are really truly the emotional needs of children. I probably go the opposite end of the spectrum you guys. I probably give my child too much love and then we'll see what happens when you do that I think it's just like For most people listening your parents just didn't know what a kid Truly needed and they did their best and now my job and every single client I've ever worked with and I work with Thousands of people we always look at the childhood and there's always stuff there that has to be shifted in order to really open up to better love. Yeah, can you give us some examples of that? Like what are some common things that people face in their

childhood and then how do you fix that when you're older? Ooh, okay, so the one of those common ones is the abandonment. So my parent wasn't there or they were there but I just didn't get their time, I didn't get their attention, but a lot of times, mean the you know like some of the work I do is it's fun. It's dating it's sexy, but a lot of it is also deep Wondering people and so I can't tell you how many clients have had where their father usually the father sometimes the mother Actually left and that creates such a deep wound of like why did they leave and the child always makes it their fault So if there's any pain trauma leaving the child always makes it their fault? So if there's any pain trauma leaving the child always makes it their fault

I think they did this because of me. So when we have a band-a-mitting childhood We seek out partners. We subconsciously seek out partners who are gonna activate that wound over and over again That's when you attract the unavailable people and I will say I tell people if you attract Unavailable men or women all the time in a second drug addiction It really is because what happens is we get addicted. Oh my God. I want to pull them in. They're pulling back.

I want to pull them in. They're pulling back and it's like a chemical high and you get on this rush of let me try and find that person. So the subconscious mind says, if I get somebody who's unavailable to choose me, it'll heal everything I went through in childhood. Of course, that doesn't work. But that's it's like an addiction. So that's one. Another one is people feeling today, like they're not lovable, like they have to be perfect, like they can't reveal their

vulnerabilities because parents inadvertently create a model of not unconditional love, conditional love. So if you were outspoken, but your parents kind of slapped you on the hand, not truly, but metaphorically, no, that's wrong. Then we do that in relationship. So whatever your parents told you was not good about you, by their lens, we tend to project that and think, people aren't going to love me in romantic relationships because of this quality, right?

Whatever it was on recognize. So if people felt like, oh my god, I just like, for me, I felt ignored sometimes. I felt unseen. I felt I didn't matter That creates this kind of need to feel like you matter to a romantic partner. So you'll be obsessive I used to not be able to sleep if a guy didn't text me like truly, obviously I would not ever have this conversation back then and a guy wasn't having text me that I wouldn't be thinking about you I literally am back my mind would be like, do you text me? Do you text me? Do you text me? Because I needed that.

So there's so many different patterns, but I would say abandonment, needing to be perfect in order to find love. There's just something wrong with me. I'm just unworthy. Those are the themes that I see happening over and over again. And they can create real problems in your love life, for sure. That's so interesting. I can't wait to dig into some of that.

I've got some questions around some of those situations that you mentioned. But first, I want to talk about your career journey. So you actually started in PR, and you had a great career in PR, and then you had this awakening. You know, you went to a seminar and some 24-year-old raised their hand, and they said they were going to be a life coach and you said, well, I can be a life coach too. Like, that's what I want to do too. And it did turn a life ball on.

So what made you switch into life coaching? How did that evolve into love coaching? And why did you decide to leave PR? Well, you know, it's funny because I do PR like every single day of my life now and I find there's so much value in it So I feel like it came full circle, but at the time I didn't like working in an office I just I wasn't and it's also like really not you know for a private bath They're like so some of the products I had to represent it was like here's this beauty brand That's not really that great or in any particular way Can you get it on the cover of this magazine or that you know, and like with PR,

I have a PR person's way to this. I felt like it was a thankless job in the sense that you can get somebody, I got a client on the cover of Al magazine, even the product wasn't like, it wasn't exceptional. And but it's like, what's next? What's next? I do this to my own PR person. Like, okay, what's next? You've got me on KTLA.

What's next? You've got me KTLA, what's next? You got me on USA Today, what's next? And so that, that, I guess it was too activating for me, probably like that constant needing to like, what's next? So I didn't like that about it, but more than that, I didn't like working in an office. I didn't like feeling confined. I was like, I don't wanna have to tell people

when I have to go to the doctor. Like, so I would sit at my desk and I would say, what do I want to do? Like, when I had any downtime at work, what do I want to do? I write in the journal. What am I meant to do? What do I want to do?

Please give me the answers. Please give me the guidance. I just was speaking out a lot to the universe. Then I went to a seminar and I could all spoke up. And it literally was like, one of those defining moments for me because it's like oh she's doing this I can do it too. I'm young, she's young, she wants to do it I can do it too so I started looking up light coaching schools and so it just kind of did the research. At that time what was really

getting popular was this idea of location independence. I don't know if you remember this hall but remember what everybody wanted to be a laptop entrepreneur I'm talking about 10-11 years ago. You're like a big thing and I found all these bloggers who were like living the laptop lifestyle and they're having businesses in Thailand but they're you know so I got interested in that. I started feeding my mind with those possibilities and then what happened was I got a little bit of money, I mean to me I felt like a lot of money at the time. I got and so when I got this money I got a check for a decent amount of money and I said okay now you have some capital. If you're not going to do it now when are you going to do it? So I quit, I went to Bali, I went to Spain, I traveled a little bit and I said I'm going to take this

course at NYU and I was going to I took I signed up for life coaching, I also signed up for nonfiction writing interestingly enough and I was gonna do both because I'm also a writer but the class is conflicted and I chose life coaching and so I didn't know like I was like well let me just take one class and I'll see that was really my attitude at the time but then when I got to class it was like this light bulb went off again where I was like oh I can do this like I always felt like kind of like a miss fit because I didn't fit in with the corporate culture

and I'm like sitting here like, are these people pretending and I be in business meetings? And I wouldn't be paying attention. I'd be looking at the personal dynamics. Oh, like, what is this person really thinking? Oh, it's interesting how this person is sitting. Like, that's what I was always focused on. So I did the light coaching and I was like,

I can do this. So I got certified and then it's part of that you have to get pro bono clients. So I went, I got pro bono clients from, I went to Gabby Bernstein's in person talks back in the day and I was so terrified and I asked people, like, do you want to be my pro bono client? I'm doing a message board at the time and so that's what I did. And every single person, I'm not kidding you. All I wanted to talk about was love.

Like it was kind of freaky. I'm like, don't you care about anything else? And they're like crying about, I want to soulmate, I can't have this person. So it kind of like came my way. But then I also was in a relationship at the time. And I thought it was a soulmate relationship. And I wanted to give people self love.

Like when I wanted to put my shingle out there, I was like, I want to be a self love coach, you know? But it, you know, it's also branding and marketing that came together. But I thought I was in this great relationship. People were coming to me for this thing. I want people to have self-love. So all those aspects kind of came together and became, you know, I'm going to do a love coaching business. Yeah, I love that. And something that I love about your journey is that you did kind of mix PR with the love coach stuff

because you are a coach for celebrities and you probably are able to contact these people through your PR experiences. And it's something that I talk about all the time on Young & Profiting Podcast, this skill stacking skill, developing a skill stack. And so you layered on PR skills on top of professional life coaching skills

and your own personal experiences with love. And now you're this unique package who's like this amazing, successful love coach for the celebrity is and for the stars. And so it's so cool how people can just like layer on their experiences and then be the perfect fit for this special niche job that you've created for yourself. Yeah, it's not a waste. And I really do like use PR every single day. perfect fit for this special niche job that you've created for yourself. Yeah, it's not a waste. And I really do like use PR every single day. And it helped me because when you're doing PR, you have to create pitches and you have to

like, even if I'm like sometimes I'll DM, I'm not, you know, I'll DM someone, you know, I'll DM a select. Like I think the whole thing, if you still have to like reach out and do all that stuff. And maybe I'll get to the point where everybody in the world reaching out to me and it's like, I'm Joseph for innocenceison's personal love coach, like fine. But you know, like, you still have to reach out. So you need to come reaching out to somebody. I'm still thinking about and what am I going to say? What's the pitch? What's the angle? I think about that stuff all the time. All that I have a publicist, but people don't realize like all the PR and stuff, it'll be like,

here's the opportunity. I have to write the pitch. I have to figure out the unique angle, so they pick it up, you know? And then I have to be a great PR professional so they keep featuring me. So it is cool how the things that I did in learning. I thought, I was like, I would ever like, at one point I was like, why did I go to school for PR?

Like, what was the point of that? Like, I didn't see how it was gonna come back around. I will say this though. When I was a little peon, publicity assistant, like bottom of the room, and I was having to like, just do all the stuff for other people.

I remember thinking like, Nicole, one day you're gonna do something. I don't know what it is, and you're gonna have a pure person for them and you. So, I had the vision, but I just didn't know where it was going at the time. Yeah, and you probably also saw all these successful people that also gave you inspiration

to be that type of a person. So, I love that. I love when things come full circle. That's how I feel about my life and my whole journey. Nothing's a waste. Every failure, you kind of just stack up those skills and then you're ready for your big opportunity when it finally comes to fruition. So kudos to you there.

So, when you had this love coaching business, you actually were in a relationship you looted to it previously and it turned out that guy was not your soulmate. He was a cheater. He was a liar and he was a narcissist. So help us understand how we can tell when someone is a narcissist and maybe how you got out of and over that relationship. Yeah. So an narcissist, I will say, what important thing to look at is,

what is the internal state that you are in when you attract that person? Because I find honest, when I was, you know, I was already coaching people, like, I, you know, I, I, I someone had it together, but there was still this piece of me that was like insecure looking for validation. There was still an emptiness inside.

So we always talk about the qualities of the narcissist, but you also have to look at what are your qualities inside because narcissists prey on people who, this is my theory, they prey on people who are really great and have a lot of light, but they're not realizing it yet. They're not fully realizing who they are yet. And so that inconsistency within you creates a little nook where the narcissist can fit right in. And then you think that they're so great. So when I met this person, all the places where I felt like maybe insecure, not good enough, I projected onto them as if they were so great. And I'm like, oh, if I'm with this person, then I must be so great.

But I will say, the signs of a narcissist are, you want to look for, when they do something that's hurtful and you let them know, do they turn it around on you and make it your fault. So craziness. Like I'll talk about this work. I'm like with with my ex and I'm like, oh, why are there these condoms here that were not being used for us? Right? Like trust me. Oh, and you're crazy Nicole.

You're making this up. So like turning things around on you, not having empathy is a sign of a narcissist. And that's gaslighting, right? Yeah, yes, yes, the gaslighting. So narcissists will come on strong at the beginning. Like when I was with this person, I remember getting emails, if every man had a woman like, you Nicole, this world will be a better place. Like what woman isn't going to be like, oh my God, I'm falling for that. So in the beginning, they give you all this love and attention. You think you're getting the love that you've always wanted,

but then they turn and they start criticizing you and they turn everything against you because they have to make you feel bad in order for themselves to feel good. So, and it's like, it can be really sneaky. I talk about this, like, comments like, oh, you were born with a good head of hair and a cold. This is not my real hair you guys, so don't think about this hair. You know what I mean? But like, so I'm Cuban, I'm black, I'm Italian. So I have like, you know, kinky hair.

You were born with a good head of hair and a cold. I showed my picture. I showed your picture to my guy friends and they said you were a four, like a four on the skin, a lot of dractiveness, four between one to ten, which is not good. Why would you tell somebody that? So, you know, you're lucky that I'm with you because nobody else would want to be with you. So they, they give you a lot of love in the beginning, but then they beat you down systematically to the point where you feel very isolated, very dependent on them.

You're doubting your worth and you're believing their words. So it's like, I'm getting you love but nobody else will. What do you do in your inner situation like that, right? If you're beaten down already enough, you start to believe them. So if you feel like your truth is being shut down, if your intuition is screaming but they're telling you something else and they're screaming at you and it seems like they're right. Like those are all morning signs. Lack of empathy, lack of ability to take responsibility for anything. A need to, like this grandiosity, this need to always be seen in a favorable light to the point where they can't see anything negative about themselves, lying, you know, cheating, most cheaters lie.

I mean, cheaters aren't necessarily narcissists, but if somebody's cheating, they're also lying, the two come together. So, you know, if somebody doesn't have an issue with lying to you, or they make it your fault, what my ex told me, you're the reason that I cheated Nicole. It was because of you because you didn't do XYZ enough. Like, that's how a narcissist talks. And if you know what, here's the thing. At the time, did I say, oh my God, he's so wrong. No, it hit me in the places where I was feeling insecure from my childhood. Oh, it must be me.

I must be wrong. I must be the reason I can't get enough love in this relationship. So it was a big learning opportunity for me for sure. Young and profitors, do you have a brilliant business idea but you don't know how to move forward with it? Going into debt for a four-year degree isn't the only path to success. Instead, learn everything you need to know about running a business for free by listening

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Find the Millionaire University podcast on Apple Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts. Man, that's some serious stuff right there. And I think there's a lot of narcissists out there. Both men and women can be narcissists. What are some other personality types that we need to look out for? I saw some real that you put up where you had listed out so many of that. Tell us about that. Okay, so you want to watch out for love of Boydans. So these are not my terms, by the way. So love of Boydans, anxious attachment style, secure attachment style, not my terms. Just have to

say that. I learned about it in a book on attachment. It's called attached. I can't remember the author, but it's called attached, and there's white with the heart on the cover. And so, anxious people, that's the type I list. What, like, if he's not calling me back,

I think he's cheating on me, right? There's a lot of anxious people. 90% of my clients are anxious attachment style. When they fear that love is going away from them, they become anxious, they try and grasp, they try and pull, they try and manipulate, they try and say the right thing, they'll send 20 texts, you know, like they're always feeling anxious and they need reassurance. Secure attachment, obviously, and that's kind of obvious. So secure attachment person, they expect to receive love, they're able to give love, like there's not a lot of drama. Love avoidant has a deep-seated fear of love. So when they come closer to somebody that they love, and this is my framing on it, when a love avoidant comes

closer to somebody that they really love, it's like everything inside of them pings, it's not safe, they're going to hurt you, they're going to do x XYZ and so they pull away. So a love of waiting really is a bad person to be in relationship with. Unless you're able to tolerate them coming and going, pushing and pulling, and all of that drama. Because I feel bad for the love of waiting in a way because there's so much fear. They really need help, you know, to get over it. So avoid the love of waiting because you cannot change that. Like people need to understand love is not enough to get somebody to commit, love is not enough to have a great relationship. Somebody could love you with every single fiber of their being, but if they have their own fears, if they associate love equals, I'm going to be obliterated,

like I'm going to be just something this is this is happening on subconscious level, but a lot of guys have this, right? They think like if they fall in love, there are some things that happen and their power is gonna go away and that woman is gonna like take all the power from them. Like a lot of guys think that if you're listening right now, you might be nodding your head at me if you're a guy. So those people will only change this in my personal opinion.

They will only change when life smacks them in the face enough or they have enough pain to realize I don't want this anymore. It's a George Clooney at some point. I'm not saying he's love a boy, but at some point he realized I don't want the Bachelor Lifestyle anymore, right? He was in his 50s. Something has to happen in life to make these people wake up and realize they want love. It's not going to be you. It's not going to be you.

So that's one type, you know, the other type that's really hard for people is, you know, the broken brick. So if you're dating somebody and they need your light, they need you to prop them up. You know, I'm not going to be okay without you. I don't know what I would do without you. That's not romantic. That is codependent. Those kinds of people are typically a drain on your energy, especially if you are a successful, driven person. You cannot afford to be dragging somebody along with you. So what you really have to look forward when you're dating or in your relationship is, if I left this person and went about my married way, would they grow on their own?

Would they, would they progress or would they be stuck in the same place? You want somebody that wouldn't be walking and growing, you know, on their own. You don't want people who are blaming. You obviously don't want people who are liars. You don't want people who are cheated. I mean, people have different points of view on the cheating and if you should stay or you should go. For me, the cheating, cheating again is the lying issue.

Like that whole thing is really a big issue. So I say, if you can avoid it, avoid being with those kinds of people. What I want people to know is you don't have to take a whole bunch of pain in order to have a love relationship in your life. Like it's not required. We think it is because the dynamic we had as a kid again is, these are my parents, these are the ones who love me, and I have to take all of their SHIT, right? That's how it is, it's a kid. But as of adult, you do not have to do that. So then my question for you is like, let's say we're in a relationship and our partner is one of those things that you just mentioned. A narcissist, a broken bird, love of avoidant, whatever it may be.

At what point do we walk away or at what point do we decide, let's go to couples therapy or let's see a love coach Nicole Moore. At what point do you know that it's time to walk away? Well, I think everything needs a love coach and that that's part of my mission, like, and what I'm here to do, because trust me, I see behind the scenes of everyone's love lives, and I see behind the scenes the very successful people's love lives. And I know what's going on behind the scenes. Everyone needs a love coach,

but a narcissist is, in my opinion, beyond help, beyond repair. Like, that is somebody you want to run away from. It is very hard to run away from them. So I remember you asked me earlier what had me go away. This is my theory. Everyone has a snapping point. We don't know where that snapping point is. If you're with somebody who's an abuser or a narcissist, it's so individual to you and it doesn't make sense to anyone else. Did I leave when that person cheated on me? Yeah, I actually broke up with him the first time he cheated in my left and I was on my, I choose me and I was on that tip

and then he came back and then he professed. Oh, I was a sex addict, I'm sorry, oh there's so that and I got hooked back in, you know? So and I didn't leave after the cheating again, I didn't leave after the abuse and then after there was some physical stuff I left. He left me on New Year's Eve, like I just, I didn't leave after the abuse and in the end, after there was some physical stuff, I left, he left me on New Year's Eve, like I had to wake up but then I was kind of still in, in, in tangled with him and he was gonna see me on New Year's Eve, I ditched my friends, I was gonna, I had plans with my girlfriends and like a side-go, I said let me hang out with my ex,

maybe not ex, who's cheated on me multiple times on the year's eve and I was sitting there I get a chance like eight or nine something like that like I'm you know stalling all day I don't think I should come over because you know we're just gonna fight That's not me because it made me think like this person doesn't even love me if he's just letting me be alone on beers Now, why did he do that because I wasn't do see at the time and I was staying part-time at that because I wasn't busy at the time and I was staying part-time at Guy Friend's house. And that was the thing that was really kind of triggering him, you know, so it was all like a revenge kind of thing. But for some reason, it wasn't the cheating, it wasn't the lying, it wasn't the verbal

abuse, it was that, that's not me. And I could feel it, I felt it snapped the attention I had to him. And I remember just thinking like like, I was just like, I was crying, you know, but I'm like, I'm done. There's no love here. And so people who are in who are chasing the unavailable guy, who are dating the married guy, who are with the narcissist, they stay

because they think they're twisted perception of love. And that's not a judgment because I had it too. Thanks, this is love and I need it. And so everybody has a snapping point. I try and get women to that snapping point quicker, you know? Like I'm like, hey, hey, hey, hey, look at all these bad things he's doing. But I know you just have to snap. So if you can push yourself there quicker, all the better because these people will not change. They will steal a lot of your light. They will make you feel really bad about yourselves.

And there's a recovery process that needs to happen after you're with someone like this. So it's kind of like you're delaying, you're healing the whole time you're staying with them. But, you know, everybody has a snap on their own point in time for sure. Okay, well, you just mentioned recovery process. So what would you say is the steps

that somebody should take, male or female, once they have a breakup? How do you get over that? Yeah, and I do have a podcast on the five steps to heal from abusive narcissists. So that is like I talk about all of that there. But in terms of just a regular breakup, so like step one is you have to feel all pain. So when I'm not in my breakup with my narcissist, I play this Kelly Clarkson song addicted. I put it on repeat on Spotify so I'd play like 20 times over in a loop because that was

the emotion I'm addicted to you. Like the song meant something to me. I put that on in the morning and I would cry. I would move my body. I would get the emotion out. Like you have to release the emotion. You have to get it out of your body. You have to let yourself cry.

You have to let yourself be upset. But then after that step two is you really have to sit there and look at what are all the ways this person has failed to love me, what didn't they give me that I needed, how are the ways they hurt me. So you create an emotional stack of all the bad things they did to you. Why? When we have a breakup, this is what happens. We have a moment of pain

and I'm alone and what's going to happen in my love life and I'm never going to find love and that feels really bad. And so the mind says, hmm, it felt better. The good times with this person felt better. So let me go over there. So we compare our crappy breakup feeling to the good times we have with this person, even if they're a psycho, we compare it to the good times and we say the good times with them felt better than this and I can't handle this, so let me go back with them. You need to not do that, okay?

You need to emotionally stack the negatives of that person so you feel an aversion to them. So look at that list of the bad things they did. Remember that because your mind just been to try and get you away from the pain. And so it's going to fantasize about that that person and you have to stop that process. After you do that then you want to look at, well, what do I really want and need? Create the picture. What if you could have somebody who had the good things with your ex because we're never

with an avoidant or an abuser or an narcissist because they're entirely horrible. There are good things about them, there's a connection, we see the good in them, we see the potential, so the good qualities from your ex. I want you to write those down on a piece of paper and then I want you to write down next to it, but what were the things that we're missing that you needed? And start to envision and feel, well, what if I could have this person, all the positives, minus the negatives, plus the things that I didn't have that I need, and you kind of have to start to attune yourself, but then you have to ask yourself, okay, why don't I believe I can have this kind of person, what limiting beliefs do I have about love, what do I need to change within

myself to feel confident enough to receive that person. So when I talk about love, I'm always talking about what I call love alignment. This idea is that your mindset and your heart and the energy that you're projecting, that creates what you're attracting in your love life. So you want to look at those pieces and then shift it. So focus on the good you're attracting. Don't focus on the X because it's likely that you're not going to get back with them or if you do, it'll be a repeat of the same kind of relationship over and over again. Wow, so many value bombs that you just shared that was such great actionable advice. I absolutely love it.

So I have a personal question to ask you and I wasn't gonna ask this and I just figured, you know what, I have the number one love coach on the line. I'm just gonna ask it. So I've been with my boyfriend for 12 years a long time So since I was a kid, I feel like you know, and since he was a kid and we've been together a long time and He doesn't believe in marriage

So what are your thoughts on somebody who does not believe in marriage? He he goes back and forth. It's like one year, he's like, yeah, we're gonna get married. And then the next year, it's like, I told you, we're never getting married. I don't ever want to get married. So what are your thoughts there? Like, is it possible to have a great relationship but not get married?

It is, but not if it's what you want. I will say this, I really believe in and I'll do it at the end of the day. And you have to kind of go through it. So when I got this ring on my finger, I was never like obsessed with marriage by the way. Like, but when I got this ring on my finger, I felt the freaking energy change. It was like the freaky I sang. I was like, whoa, it's kind of like when you have a kid or this is my experience when I had a kid was like, oh my god, there's this whole like parent universe that I've just been blissfully

unaware of, you know, and it's like, I don't know how to explain universe. I've just been blissfully unaware of you know and it's like I don't want to explain it's like a whole new level of energy opened up and all of a sudden I'm on the parent wavelength and it's like whoa So there's a wavelength of Engaged there's a wavelength of Mary. I really do think it makes an energetic difference But some people don't want to get married and that's fine I'm not saying you can't have a great relationship. But there is something to this marriage thing. There, you know, so many things that are old school have truth in it. Like the vows that they say, you know, for some sickness, not that everything is truth. But if you think about the traditional marriage vows, what it's saying is, I'm going to be with you. I I'm not gonna try and get out of this through all of these things

And when you're married, there's more of a sense of that because it's like it's you know As a serious thing versus when you're in a relationship when you're just in a relationship You two are the people holding each other together when you're in a marriage There's also a container if that makes sense holding the two of you together. So It is a personal choice, but I will say, if you want it, then there's a reason for that. Now, people who say they don't believe in marriage, what they're really saying is, I have seen negative experiences of marriage,

and I don't believe that if I get married, it's going to be what I want. People who say they don't believe in marriage lack the ability to imagine and envision a marriage that would work for them. A lot of people do this. If I get married, they think a bunch of things are going to happen, right? The people do this with kids or whatever, right? They think automatically.

If we get married, we're going to fight all the time and hate each other because that's what my parents did. If we get married, there's going to be no passion because that's what happened to my my brother, you know or whatever So what's likely happening is your boyfriend has all these ideas from his head about marriage is this and so he's pushing Against it and he's not realizing marriage is a creation It's literally you can create whatever kind of marriage you want But you have to be down for that But I would say what you need to recognize is what is your timeline?

If you know that marriage is something that you want in your life, you've got to get clear You don't necessarily have to communicate it to him. You might at some point. How long am I willing to Wait for this person to see if he changes his mind? So if it were me, I would say, how about I have a conversation with him and say, listen, I respect that you say you don't want to get married. And I would never try and push you into that. Why are you saying that? We're disarming him, right? We don't want to push her against him because there's so fear there. And I would say I'm curious though. I'm wondering when you say I don't believe in marriage, I'm wondering if there's so fear there. And I would say I'm curious though. I'm wondering, when you say I don't believe in marriage,

I'm wondering if there is a negative connotation of what you're really saying is I'm afraid of these things happening. And I would love to hear, like if we get married, what are you afraid's gonna happen? Because all that's happening is he's saying, if we get married, I'm gonna not have what I want. That's it.

I'm not gonna have what I want. That's what he believes. So you need to know that. And you need to have a conversation with him about that. What do you think you'm not gonna have what I want. That's what he believes. So you need to know that. And you need to have a conversation with him about that. What do you think you're not gonna have? What do you think you're not gonna feel? What do you think you're not gonna get? What do you think you're gonna miss out on? Because you're seeing it as, yay! I'm gonna get more! And he's seeing it somehow as, I'm gonna get less. And you guys need to come together on that and create a vision where both of you are feeling if we say yes to marriage, we get more good, we get more good feelings, we get more of what we want. That's great advice. So let's go to your marriage. So you're happily married now.

And your husband actually helps you in your coaching business. And it turns out you guys met on Tinder. Is that true? Yes. Wow. So most people think of Tinder as like, and since I've been with my boyfriend for 12 years, I have no experience with any of those apps. I always tell my friends like, when they ask for dating advice, I'm like, I don't know, I haven't dated since I was like 20. Like whatever, I haven't dated since I was a teenager. So like, talk to me about Tinder and if you think that's a good viable option for

people to find their soulmate. Yeah, I mean, I think you can find good people anywhere. It's just, you have to, you have to be focused and you have to look. People don't like online dating because they don't like seeing a bunch of people that they don't want. That's it, right? Like, that we just don't like it. But it's like, okay, if you go to a buffet and you're a vegetarian and you see chicken, you're not freaking out. You're just looking for the vegetables. You know what I mean? You're just like people, when they go online, they're like, oh my God, all these people that

I don't want, all these girls are crap, all these guys are crap. I'm never going to find love. They just project all of their limiting beliefs onto the platform as if it's the platform. What I say is online dating in particular is a great way to figure out what your limiting beliefs actually are. Put up a profile, see what you get, see what you think and feel about it because that's all in you. It's all in you. Are there bad experiences that happen online? Yes. Are there a bunch of crappy people online? Yes, but there's also a bunch of really great people online. It depends on your

focus and your intentions. So when I was dating before I opened the app, I was telling myself, Nicole, you're the woman who only attracts the highest quality commitment-ready man online. You are this. I created that identity for myself. Did I sometimes attract you guys who weren't that? Yeah, but I didn't give it a lot of emotional attention People give the wrong people too much emotional attention when they're all mind dating and then they feel horrible And then they close the up and then they say didn't work for me So you got to kind of do a lot of cleanup if you're gonna do the whole dating thing But see how the world has changed. How are you gonna date now? If it's not online, you know? So we should really be saying hollow freaking Lu instead of saying, this doesn't work for me.

But like your profile matters, all that stuff matters. I was super focused. I was super intentional. I didn't let the bad ones get me down. I just swiped and I tried not to put too much negative emotion into the whole thing. Well, that's great that you, you know, you met your future husband, or is he your husband already? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, congratulations. Yeah. Okay, so we're in COVID, like we just mentioned. Everyone's dating on Zoom, a lot of these first dates are happening on Zoom. So what's your advice there in terms of making a good impression on Zoom, making

a connection on Zoom, and being flirty and attractive on Zoom. What's your recommendation there? Yeah, I mean, kind of look good. Like when we go on a video, we have our lights, you know? Like, here's the thing right now. I think if you can get on the Zoom call and be a real person and create an emotional connection, that's what matters most.

So the worst thing you can do is I have how's your day, right? That's so boring. Get on with energy. People want people with energy. I'm not saying be a fake person, but when you're on video and people who are in front of camera know this, you have to project your energy.

Because if I were to just do this in the real, like I'm just talking like, say my assistant walking the room, hey, L, could you get me a match of latte? That's not a hundred percent. I have to say, Hey, El, can you get me a match of latte? Like you have to you have to kind of project your energy on a Zoom call. So you want to imagine that the person in front of you, you're trying to get them to feel your energy, you're trying to feel their energy. But talk about things that really matter, talk about the best things in your life, talk about experiences that a bulk emotion. That's what keeps us interested.

Nobody cares about the weather unless the most beautiful snow happened today. And it reminded you of this time when you were five, when your mother did this one thing and it sparked the idea for your book. And you didn't mean like that's what I do here. Not because it's knowing, that makes sense. And then how about body language or like facial expressions? Is there something that we should be doing in particular on Zoom and then how about in person? Yeah, so you want to have your, don't cross, okay, because that's going to communicate the wrong message.

Okay, so confidence is really shoulder, you're going to see if I walk, I do the shoulders back and your hat is up and you're, you're revealing. So you want to be revealing this this part. So don't be crunched on yourself. Don't be like this. Ladies, if you can, if you're able to show her like test her neck. Yeah, I'm not saying you have to have cleavage, but it's literally like I'm exposing myself to you. Don't wear a turtle neck unless that's your thing and you happen to look exceptional in turtle neck and as part of your personal style, you know? But if it's a guy, I would say women really like it when a guy makes an effort. So don't come on with a rumbled hoodie, like make it special. Like many to understand. I hate

to say this, but women's standards are typically so horrifically low. They're so disappointed that men sometimes don't have to do that much. If you show up, he will be a great thing for a guy to do. Have a single rose and show her. I got this rose for you. Oh, that's too much. But you know what I mean? It's like, hey, no we're meeting on Zoom for the first time, but I wanted to give you this rose. What girls not gonna smile when they have that? So anything you can do to bring a little bit of a special touch, you know what I mean?

If you're like a comedian, for example, in your picture on Zoom before you get on, you could make your picture a joke for her to read. There's little things you could do that have you stand out like nobody wants to get on a boring Zoom call. So think about that. What could I do to display my personality and stand out a little bit more? And at the very least, have energy and be excited, even if you never want to talk to this person again. And how about like eye

contact? They say that eyes are the windows to the soul. So like, what's your advice in terms of like having eye contact that really connects with someone? Definitely 100% so we can have dead eyes and that's a very normal like when we're just looking at a computer's half dead eyes or we can imagine that we have a little bit of life. So if I tell you for example, like just imagine, like don't even flirt, just imagine that you're flirting but don't move your body and like do it through your eyes. Crinkle your eyes a little bit, smile, look at your eyes. So beautiful, right? So like, you can, we can do this, right?

You just did it right now, or just in your mind, like think of a sexy moment that you had, like that stands out, like, we all have those moments, right? Like, maybe it's not somebody we're aware of, or you need to be even as like, oh, I remember that. Let your eyes have energy and excitement.

Practice this in front of the mirror. Just look and see how if you're just looking, look at how I'm just looking, there's not enough energy. But if you just kind of set the awareness and the intention, then you have a little bit more energy. Definitely smile when you're on Zoom. Definitely think energy, energy, energy, energy.

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That's trinom.nom.com-shap for 50% off trinom.com-shap. Love that. And then how about in person or on Zoom? Like are there certain colors that we should be wearing on our bodies or certain things we should be saying in our head when we're talking in people to kind of like exude just like attractiveness and good energy? Yeah, so if it's somebody that you want,

you always want me thinking in your head, like I know you want me, or I'm the most attractive woman on the planet, or I'm the most amazing man, and I know you know it. You know, like they can talk to yourself. I really think that. Like I always tell the story. My husband's first tender day after he got divorced, he took a year to heal. I was his first tender day and he told me that and I said I feel bad for you because it all goes downhill from here. Like I really honestly believe that. I'm not kidding you. I was like I'm the best but I'm not the best.

Probably there's a lot of people better than me but I just I was always, I'm the best, but I'm not the best. A lot of people better than me, but I was always thinking about my qualities and what I brought to the table. So I really felt that way. So people love that confident vibe. So you want to be thinking, like, I'm the best woman on the planet. I'm the best man on the planet. Of course you want me. I know you want me. But at a practical level, when we're in our heads and we're analyzing our energy is contracted, it's tight. It's not as attractive. So if you're finding yourself in that way, take some deep breaths, feel the energy in your feet, bring it all the way up through your body,

like connect more to your body than your thoughts that are going to feel you more. Like even on our day, I always recommend that,, really feel the energy in your body because the more we're like thinking in our head, it's a disconnect in the energy. I love that. I think that's so important because like you said, whatever you're thinking inside is what you project on the outside.

So if you're thinking, oh, I'm never going to get a man. I need to get a man. Like, or I'm never going to get this woman. I'm never going to find a relationship. That person's going to be like, oh my gosh, never going to get a man. I need to get a man. Or I'm never going to get this woman. I'm never going to find a relationship. That person's going to be like, oh my gosh, this person's not dateable. Or they're going to find something wrong with you. Because first of all, you're not engaged

because you're thinking on these negative thoughts. And second of all, they can probably read it on your face and your body language. It's your uncomfortable, your insecure, you're not confident. And nobody wants that in a partner. They want confidence. So if you're boosting yourself and nobody wants that in a partner. They want confidence. So if you're boosting yourself up, it's the truth.

How you feel on the inside is what you project on the outside. I was just saying that before. Whenever I feel, I think I was saying it to you. Whenever I feel the prettiest, it's when I feel the best inside. And then I look at myself on camera on the days where I just had a great day and I'm like, wow, it looks so pretty. And then the days when I'm stressed out in a bad mood, something bad happened, I'm like, whoa, I look like shit that day.

I guess, literally, because it's just like, what I feel inside is what projects outside. Yeah, and this is what people also should be drinking a lot of water. This is just a side note, but I feel like people don't drink a lot of water and they don't take care of themselves if you could tell in their energy and it gets contracted.

I feel like so many people have a really contracted energy that's not attracted and they're not really realizing it. Like you it's like sound so basic but you need enough water for the cells to be flowing in your body for you to not be all contracted. So that's like one thing that you can do before you get on the zoom call. Like make sure you're hydrated. Put a little moisture on you. You're a guy. So the energy is flowing in your body. Yeah, and you have something called love water, right? I read that and I was like love water. Can you tell us about what love water is? Yeah, so basically, what's his name? I can't remember his name, but there's a guy that studied

molecules in water and he realized that if you talk into a glass of water and you say, I hate you, then the molecules look really bad and like dirty. If you talk into the water and you say, I love you, then the molecules look really pretty. So the idea is that water holds energy and emotions. So you can do this. You can talk into your coffee or water and you can say, confidence, I love you, love, beauty, power, whatever it is. You literally imagine you're speaking that intention into the water. And then when you're drinking it, the water will literally, this is scientific, it'll have a different vibration. So every cell of the water is going to go into every cell of your body and you've kind of spoken beautiful words over it, it impacts you. I love that. That's beautiful. A lot of people are going to be like,

ah, that's a bunch of bullshit, but it's all what you're. Yeah. I remember. He was in the secret. I remember that guy. They, they, um, it's not John Asteroff, right? I don't remember. I can't remember, but I know there's a book about it, and it's actually signed to beg. And if you think about it and it's actually scientific. And if you think about it, it's like people do this with plants too. There are studies with plants. If you talk to the plant in a negative way, I mean, if you talk to a child in a really negative way, they're going to feel a certain way.

So it makes sense. Talk to the water. Moral, the story is that energy matters and the words that you say matter, and the thoughts that you think matter, right? And all of that will be projected on your outside and your vibration and your frequency is what's attracting other people into your life. And if you have a good frequency and a high frequency and a fast frequency, you're going to attract those types of positive people in your life. And if you're slow, sluggish, dehydrated, like you said, you're going to attract sluggish, insecure, unconfident people in your life.

So it's just what vibration do you want to have? So totally agree there. Let's talk about COVID again. So divorce rates are skyrocketing. There's some mixed information out there. Some people say it's skyrocketing. Some people say it's decreasing. So I don't know what's true.

I've noticed myself. A lot of people that I know have been getting divorced and in my immediate circle, I've been noticing a lot of breakups and divorce. So in your opinion, what's changed since COVID happened? Like why are people starting to break up more frequently if you believe that? Yeah, I certainly see that way when you look on social media, right? Like I saw that too, I'm like, oh my god, like everyone's announcing that they're getting divorced. It's pressure media, right? Like I saw that too, I'm like, oh my God, like everyone's announcing that they're getting divorced. It's pressure cooker, right? So obviously, if somebody is getting divorced in 2020 or 2021, it's not like a, it's been building

likely for a while at long time, but then there was a pressure cooker. So being inside, I mean, there was so much fear, right? There's people are still in fear, but anytime there's an outside situation that brings a lot of fear and a lot of pressure sometimes like it could happen when people losing their job, you know, or people are afraid for their health, that it stresses what was already there. So if the foundation was cracked and there were issues and they weren't addressed in COVID, then it becomes even worse. But the other thing that happened is people, when you're facing on a certain level, everybody has been facing life

threatening illness even if we never contracted COVID just hearing all the stories of people on the ventilators it does something to your system it creates this procession that there is a threat and that you could not be okay you know so an end of the election is so much stuff is happening so it kind of made people a lot of people say, what do I want in life and wake up and say, is this really what I want? So I think some of those divorces that are happening are just people realizing like, either we've grown apart or this isn't working for me anymore and there's this desire to really have life. When you're faced with stress, you're crack or you say, well, I want what I want now. Like I survived this.

So let me go get it. I don't know if it's more than normal or maybe people just announced it more. I don't know what was happening there. I don't know the statistics, but I do know it's a pressure cooker for short, but then there's also other stories of people who got together during COVID or their relationship was trying to get on COVID.

So we don't hear about those as much. People also didn't want to post positive stuff. Like a lot of people are afraid, right? If they're doing great or their relationship is great, they don't want to post because they don't want to be toned up or they don't want people to be mad at them and say, hey, I'm struggling. Why are you posting this? Okay. So I guess the last question I'm going to ask you before we start to wrap up the show is we discussed its COVID more people are breaking up. Any tips in terms of having a thriving relationship when we're on top of each other working from home and you know probably fighting a lot more with our spouse.

Any tips to succeed during this time period? Yes. So, number one, lower your expectations in the sense that like you've got to give people a break right now. You really have to give people a break right now. You really have to give people a break right now because everyone is stressed. So lower your expectations of if that person's having a bad day or you're having a bad day, I'm not saying let bad behave, you're slide, but do not expect perfection. Number two though is communicate. You know it's so funny, like even in couples people could be going through stuff and they could be feeling a certain way,

but they're on their phone and they're not communicating with their partner. Like, a lot of people don't communicate with their partner. So, have time set aside where you talk about what's going on. You share your feelings, you get real because that's gonna bring you closer. And then the third thing is, you have to find little pockets of time.

Like, for example, I had been on this app called Clubhouse all freaking week, but I talked about it with my husband. And he, I'm like, I'm sorry, I know I'm not spending as much time with you right now. You know, and we had that conversation about it. And he's like, okay, now I get it. I explained to him what it was. He's not on social media. I explained to him what it was, and I told him about it. And so there's's he's giving me understanding right now. I know you're going to be on this a lot but then this morning I said, Hey, can you pick a movie for us? Let's do a movie night tonight. I won't be on it, you know, tonight because I understand I have to put a little bit of time and attention there. So if you're in a relationship, pay attention to your partner

think about what they're needing, understand that they're probably going through more stress than you realize at the moment, just like you are. So really be conscious and aware of that and think, how can I brighten their day? How can I do something to make them smile? Even if it's just like a little thing, those moments will go really far right now. I love that. And the last question I ask all my guests is, what is your secret to profiting in life? question I ask all my guests is what is your secret to profiting in life? I mean, I think my energy helps me, but I have belief. I go for it.

I make it happen. I was love coaching, and I'm like, I want to coach celebrity, isn't I? I went after that. I made it happen. I believed I could. I have other dreams that are feel bigger than where I'm at right now, and I believe that I can, and I see these

things as inevitable. Not that I don't have doubts or sometimes feel not good enough, or like, ah and I believe that I can and I see these things as inevitable. Not that I don't have doubts or sometimes feel not good enough or like, like, I have that voice too, but I will go forward anyway. I think that's the biggest thing. Like I throw myself in the fire all the time. If I'm scared, I still do it. I do so many things where I'm like, I don't know if I can do this, but I'm just going to

try. I'm just going to do it. So I don't let fear of not being good enough, fear of, I don't let the fear stop me. I just move forward anyway. And I think that's the biggest secret. I love that. And where can our listeners go to learn more about you and everything that you do?

Yeah, so you can go to loveworksmethod.com, which is my website. You can find me on Instagram, my love Instagram. Find me there, DM me there. It's at Nicole Moore Love. That's M-O-O-R-E. It's my last name more. Nicole Moore Love.

You can find me on YouTube. I'm Nicole Moore Love. I have a podcast called LoveWorks with Nicole Moore. That's in all the places that podcasts are just basically all over the internet. Nicole Moore, love, type it in. You'll see me. I love hearing from people. I love them. People get on my free content and they message me saying this changed my life. Right. You know, like I love hearing those stories. So come by me.

Awesome. Well, Nicole, it was such a pleasure. Thank you so much for coming on Young and Profiting Podcast. Thank you for having me. Thanks for listening to Young and Profiting Podcast. I hope you enjoyed this episode with Nicole Moore and that her career journey and love advice will inspire you to be confident and never settle for less. I loved her tips on how to make a connection on Zoom and how to get over a bad breakup. She really knows her stuff when it comes to finding love. And speaking of love, if you loved this episode on Young & Profiting Podcast and you're

interested to learn more about powerful women, never compromising their dreams or aspirations, I recommend checking out episode number 94. Lean out, Women, Power, and and the workplace with Marissa or. Here's a clip from that episode. Women like me were the ones that struggled because if you think about it, if you have a set of adjectives that describe a stereotypical woman,

which are communal and collaborative and kind and caring whatever, and then you have the male version, which are more aggressive and desire for dominance and all that's what profile is more likely to get to the top of a large corporation. Well, the male profile, so the question I pose in the book is, you know, why is it okay to discriminate against

the stereotypical female profile, but if we discriminate against a woman that violates it, it's a national crisis. And there's a lot of research that shows that traits like being agreeable, like that sort of more aligned with the female stereotype or a liability in the corporate world. Like I said, if you want to learn more about how women can fight to never settle for less and follow their dreams, check out number 94, lean out, women power,

and the workplace with Marissa Orr. And to all my male listeners out there, please know that I always strive to make YAP podcast relevant to all genders, ages, and professions. So no matter what topic we cover, you can be assured that there's value there for you too. If you haven't subscribed to Young & Profiting Podcast yet, please take a moment to do so so you can be alerted every time we drop a new episode. And if you found value in today's show, please leave us an Apple Podcast review. It would be very appreciated because it acts as social proof and it also improves our Apple Podcast ranking. As always, I'm going to shout out a recent review. This one is from Bina Bre. Inspiring and informative. Amazing podcast! Hala is so talented and is the best host.

She always asks all the right questions to add value to her episodes and all of the guests have so much to offer. Yapp is the most motivating and inspiring podcast I have ever listened to. Every episode makes you feel confident that you've learned something valuable. It's equally as entertaining as it is educational. I love everything about this podcast and I highly recommend. Thank you so much, Beenat. I appreciate your review so much and again if you guys have a few moments, drop us an Apple podcast review and let us know that you found value in the show and maybe next week I'll shout you out too. and let us know that you found value in the show, and maybe next week I'll shout you out too. You can find me on Instagram at Yap with Hala

or LinkedIn just search for my name, it's Hala Tah-Hah. And now I'm on Clubhouse at Hala Tah-Hah and I'm hosting rooms there almost every day, so if you wanna catch me live, follow me on Clubhouse. Big thanks to the Yap team as always, this is Hala, signing off. Are you looking for ways to be happier, healthier, more productive and more creative? I'm Gretchen Rubin, the number one best-selling author

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