Young and Profiting with Hala Taha - YAPClassic: Chase Hughes on Hacking Human Behavior, The Secrets to Gaining Influence

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Starting point is 00:00:52 As always, you can find all our deals in the show notes. What's up, young and profitors! Welcome back to the show and my oh my do we have a yap classic in store for you today. In fact today we're replaying one of my very first episodes, which was originally recorded back in 2018. The interview is with Chase Hughes, and this was one of my first ever episodes to go viral. It went viral on SoundCloud, it went viral on YouTube.

Starting point is 00:01:32 Until this day, we're still getting thousands of views a month on this episode, and it's because it is such great content. I love this episode, and when I think of YAP Classics, this is one of the first episodes that comes to mind for me. Chase Hughes is a leading behavior expert in the United States and he's a best-selling author.

Starting point is 00:01:51 He wrote the Bible of human behavior called the ellipsis manual. And he teaches elite groups, government agencies, and police and behavior science skills like behavioral profiling, nonverbal analysis, interrogation, and advanced behavioral investigation. In this episode, we talk all about how to gain influence. Chase breaks down several advanced human behavior concepts like how to read somebody's blink rate, what questions to ask yourself when meeting somebody new and why authority is so important

Starting point is 00:02:20 when you're trying to gain influence. This is truly one of our most classic episodes at YAP, and I think you guys are gonna love hearing it again. Without further ado, here's my interview with the brilliant Chase Hughes. Hey Chase, welcome to the show. Thanks, Halle. Glad to be here. Would you explain to our listeners who you are,

Starting point is 00:02:41 what you do for your day job, and why you spent so many years studying the power of body language. I run a Behavior Science Company based in Virginia Beach, and we teach Behavior Science to intelligence operations units, military, federal government, and for the first time ever, in January, we're releasing all of our behavior training to the public. But we specialize in interrogation, behavior profiling, deception detection, interviewing techniques, and just behavior science in general that uses psychological tactics to gain compliance from people in the field. Very cool. And so why is body language so powerful?

Starting point is 00:03:21 Why it's powerful? I'm not sure. I'm sure there's some evolutionary stuff that some smarter people than me could come up with. But I think that's one of the things that's always fascinated me was that it makes up a consensus around two-thirds of communication of what's actually being communicated. And we study it so infrequently. So like a Harvard psychologist, for example, would go through all of the school and maybe have about 20 minutes or less on nonverbal communication and body language. Which is just astounding to me that there's a resounding amount of studies that say that it's so much of our communication and how vital and important it is. And not even our

Starting point is 00:04:06 healthcare practitioners, our mental health practitioners, much less a regular doctor, get training in this kind of stuff. In your book, you talk about psychological loopholes and how our minds are wired to be manipulated. Can you talk about that a little bit? Sure. We have what I call the firewall illusion, or the firewall delusion, that we think that there's some kind of firewall in our brain that prevents us from being manipulated. We see someone else get manipulated and we say,

Starting point is 00:04:37 oh, that would never happen to me. I would never obey in order to kill someone. I would never join a cult. I would never buy that thing just because a commercial told me to. And what's really funny is that the illusion, that just the belief of you having a firewall makes you ten times more manipulatable. And it makes you more easily influenced. And it's easier for someone to kind of

Starting point is 00:05:05 hijack your brain. Just imagine, like if you thought that you could not be manipulated or controlled and someone was doing it to you, during the process of you being manipulated, you still feel safe and you'll rationalize to yourself after the event occurs that you made your own choices and your own decisions. So I think something that could really set the stage is something I've heard you talk about before. It's called the Milgram experiment. Would you describe that to our listeners who aren't familiar? Sure. So the two-minute explanation of this is in 1962, there's a doctor, a Harvard psychologist named Dr. Stanley Milgram, And he was watching the war trials, which were called the Nuremberg Trials,

Starting point is 00:05:49 where they brought these Nazi war criminals and put them on trial and asked why they were murdering people by the thousands. And the resounding answer from so many of these people was that they were just following orders. I was just following orders. And Milgram's parents were Jewish and actually made it out. But he wanted to prove.

Starting point is 00:06:10 He wanted to figure out some way to scientifically prove whether or not it's possible that a person can just be following orders. So they have this experiment. You respond to this newspaper ad. They're going to pay for your meals. They'll pay you every day. Do you go in there and there's a guy standing there in a lab coat and you draw straws, it's

Starting point is 00:06:27 just you and one of their person. You draw straws. One straw is the teacher, one straw is the learner. And in reality, the guy that you're in the room with is part of the experiment. You're the only person that's actually a participant. So you will always draw the teacher straw. So you and this other guy, who's the student, the learner, go into this other room that's adjoining the room that you'll be sitting in. And you

Starting point is 00:06:50 watch him get sat down into a chair, and they say, we're doing a study on punishment and learning, and whether punishment improves a person's ability to learn. So you watch this guy get strapped to these electrodes that are specifically designed to deliver electric shocks when he gets a wrong answer. So they even put one on your arm and let you feel what the shock feels like, and it's pretty painful. So this guy's all strapped in, they shut the door, you're on the other side of the wall from this guy, they sit you down in front of this big control box, it's got voltage buttons

Starting point is 00:07:21 on it, going from zero volts to 450, I think. And then after that, it says XXX, the final button. So for every time this guy gets an answer wrong, which he does deliberately over and over again, you have to deliver increasing amounts of voltage. So in this room where you're seated in front of this big box, it's you, a clipboard, you've got to read some words to this guy and ask him a question. And the other guy behind you is the guy in the lab coat who's running the experiment. So he's kind of the authority figure there. So delivering shocks above 400 could be potentially lethal. So these people are delivering shocks every time. And it's

Starting point is 00:07:59 getting increasing the guys screaming on the other side of the wall. You can hear him. He's pounding on the wall. Eventually he says says I have a heart condition. I don't want to participate anymore. I'm out of here. Get me out of here. Just screaming. Wow. And finally, around 350 to 400 volts, you hear no more sound at all. And he stops answering questions completely. And the guy in the lab coat says, any non-answer must be treated as an incorrect answer. Continue the experiment, please. So keep shocking this guy, keep going. So before this experiment started,

Starting point is 00:08:32 this group of psychiatrists and psychologists sat down together and they decided that about 0.01% of people, 0.01 would go all the way to killing the other person and all the way to the maximum. And as it turns out, 65% of people committed murder in less than an hour because a stranger told them to. That's unbelievable. It is.

Starting point is 00:09:00 And it's hard to think that we would do that. Everyone, of course, you ask, like, would you ever do this? Of course, everyone's going to say, no, never. I would never do this. And that illusion is what makes it dangerous. That when we're exposed to an authority figure, our brains kind of switch off. And we go into what Stanley Milgram described as an agentic shift. So agentic being the root we're being agent. So we become an agent

Starting point is 00:09:33 for the other person to where the responsibility for our actions no longer rely on our shoulders as someone else's fault. So we obey authority figures with way more obedience and way more trust than we should place in those people. So, for instance, the guy in the lab coat didn't have a doctor's idea on, wasn't wearing a stethoscope, there was just a good-looking guy whose hair was recently cut, is well-spoken, well-manored, and all he says to the participants in the experiment is it's important that you continue. The experiment requires that you continue or please continue. Just a few phrases like that and at no time did he force anyone

Starting point is 00:10:16 to participate. But guess how many people shocked another person in the other room up to 100 volts? It was 100%. And 0% across the entire experiment were thousands of people, 0% went into the other room to check on the other person. Yeah, it just speaks to how important it is to kind of be conscious of the fact that everybody is so easily manipulated. And you can either be the one in control or you could be the one getting controlled. So really eye opening, so glad that we're having

Starting point is 00:10:50 this conversation. In your past to kind of getting people aware of all this, you created something called the ellipsis system. Can you explain what that is? Yeah, so the ellipsis system was designed originally for intelligence operations. So human psychological intelligence operations.

Starting point is 00:11:10 So in a hypothetical environment here, I've got to send you your intelligence asset. And I send you over to the Ukraine. And you have to meet with a guy you've never met before. And you have two meet with a guy you've never met before, and you have two hours to convince him to basically commit treason against his own country and spy for you and give you information. And the ellipsis system was designed

Starting point is 00:11:36 to create extreme compliance and extreme obedience and people, and it leverages behavior profiling, identifying needs, weaknesses, and insecurities, and then using all that information, using psychological tactics, linguistic techniques, mixtures of neuro-linguistic programming and hypnosis, and a tremendous amount of authority, which is what caused people to commit murder in the Milgram experiment. That was pretty much a hundred percent authority. So authority is very important. That's one of the reasons that we broke authority down, and that if you had no persuasion or

Starting point is 00:12:14 influence skills whatsoever, authority would be the most important part. But that's what the book was really written for, and I didn't really realize that there was a civilian interest in psychology, mostly because I've been in the military my entire adult life. Let's hold that thought and take a quick break with our sponsors. Young and profitors, as the CEO of a media agency and a podcast network, it can be hard to build relationships with my employees employees because we're all virtual, 100% virtual. I wanted to learn how I could cultivate stronger relationships with the people

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Starting point is 00:14:46 Young and profitors, it's never been a better time to be an entrepreneur. With inspiration at our fingertips and powerful tools that are disposal, the possibilities are endless. And when it comes to tools that can truly make your business grow, there's one name that always stands out, Shopify. Pfft!

Starting point is 00:15:04 Actually recently interviewed Shopify's president Harley Finkelstein. That's episode number 252 if you want to check it out. And he says there's an entrepreneurial renaissance happening right now. And Shopify can help you through it. Shopify helps you sell at every stage of your business from the Launcher Online Shop Stage to the real store with the door stage. And even though did we just hit a million order stage because businesses that grow grow with Shopify and you can sell whatever whenever with

Starting point is 00:15:31 Shopify push pleaded pants with Shopify's in-person POS system or monetize mindful meditation. I sell my LinkedIn secrets masterclass through Shopify and they've made my life a breeze. It took a couple days to set up my store and I just get to focus on what I do best, creating great content, and marketing my product. Not to mention Shopify also is the home of the best converting checkouts in the game, 36% better than other leading commerce platforms. Shopify turns browsers into buyers. It's no wonder Shopify powers 10% of all e-commerce in the US.

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Starting point is 00:16:29 Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at Shopify.com-profiting, and that's all lower case. Again, go to Shopify.com-profiting to start growing your business today. You can sign up for a $1 per month trial period at Shopify.com slash profiting. Pfft! The amount of depths that you go into this book is insane. It's pretty overwhelming, to be honest. You talk about something that we always hear about, for example, crossing our arms.

Starting point is 00:16:59 Yeah. Intuitively, I always thought that meant something negative, like we either impatient or frustration, but in your book, you go into the fact that you need to pay attention to the closeness of palms to the body, the direction the thumbs are pointing, the distance from the torso, and it was just so overwhelming. I'm wondering, like, who can actually pay attention to this stuff? Is it really possible to memorize what people are doing and then to go back and evaluate what everybody is doing? How does someone go about like training themselves and how long does that take for someone to

Starting point is 00:17:31 become an expert? Expert is a word I think is overused today. Becoming an expert may take years, years and years. But being good at reading body language does not take an expert level of skill. And a lot of people assume at the very beginning that they see this giant behavior table, I'm like, okay, I need to make flashcards, I need to memorize all this stuff. And you really don't. You read up on this stuff, and then you watch human behavior.

Starting point is 00:17:56 So if you just spent two weeks just watching human behavior, watching fingers, watching eyes, watching facial muscles move, watching the body, the way people's posture tilts, all of this stuff, how fast or how often someone is blinking or breathing during a conversation. If just observing the stuff without trying to make meaning of any of it, just observing it for its own sake. So you start to get a habit, you're starting to push yourself into a habit of just observing it for its own sake. So you start to get a habit.

Starting point is 00:18:26 You're starting to push yourself into a habit of just observing behavior. And then after time, you start reading about more behavior and reading about more behavior. And then you won't have to interpret anything. You'll kind of start to develop an intuition. So it's not like learning geometry or some skill. I would say it's more akin to learning a motorcycle. Like we have a lot of things going on at one time and it's best to just master one thing at a time until it moves from the front of your brain, we have to pay attention to it to the back of your

Starting point is 00:18:57 brain towards kind of automatic. So like driving was really hard at first until you got good at it and now you can kind of zone out on your way home from work So it'll become unconscious, but I'd say the most important thing to being able to read people and This is a skill that everyone needs like if you're in sales You're in the human behavior business if you're in business you deal with human behavior on a regular basis so being able to see this stuff and really understand what it means is so critical. I mean, even if it's two thirds and not 90% of communication, like a lot of studies suggest, it's more than half of communication and we almost deliberately ignore it.

Starting point is 00:19:42 So I think once you're able to start seeing behavior, just watching it for its own sake, and then learning more about it, the first thing that usually happens to people is that it's really depressing because you will see suffering and insecurity and fear in every person that you meet. But in the end, suffering is like the universal law of human beings. Everyone is suffering. Everyone's going through something. Everyone is self-conscious. I've never met a non-self-conscious person. So I think what that does after you get over, like, yeah, everybody screwed up. It gets to a place where people are more approachable and they're more human.

Starting point is 00:20:20 So it just kind of humanizes everybody. And it takes away a lot of your own social anxiety. Once you can see how screwed up everybody else is. I hope that one day I'll be able to do this. For now, I just need to practice. And I think that you mentioned that using different TV shows is a good way to start getting familiar with everything, right? Yeah, I had a client recently who was training with me and she wanted to bring up her favorite reality show at the time which was called catfish

Starting point is 00:20:49 and I had never heard of it and I'm not a big TV guy but this is a show on MTV where these people pretend to be like a hot guy or a hot girl and Like lure these people into these relationships online and then of course it comes up in this big crescendo, this emotional crescendo at the end where there's a big reveal and stuff, but it's very telling because it's not fiction, so it's kind of a reality show. So you get to see a whole lot of facial expressions of emotion. That's one of the good ones. And if you want to look for anxiety, I would watch Conan O'Brien interviewing almost anybody will produce anxiety behavior.

Starting point is 00:21:27 So some of the more interesting body signals that I kind of came across in your book were yawning, eye-blink, great palm exposure, inward toe-pointing, and shoe removal. Do you want to just speak to some of those and give examples of what these body signals mean? Absolutely. So one thing that your listeners could take away right now is blink rate. This is how often, not how fast, but how often someone blinks. And the less often we blink, the more interested and absorbed we are in a conversation. So the last time you watched your favorite movie, a movie that you really liked, which for me would be like Interstellar. When I watched Interstellar,

Starting point is 00:22:08 my Blink rate was probably or between a seven and a 12 Blinks per minute. And if you think back to like when you took the math portion of your SATs or you're taking a really hard exam in college, your Blink rate can go up to to 55 per minute without you even noticing that there was a shift. So stress increases behavior, so does some kinds of discomfort. So like if you're on a date and the bling rate is really low, you don't have to count per minute.

Starting point is 00:22:36 You just see whether or not it's speeding up, slowing down, whether or not it's slow or it's fast. So you shift conversation topics and if you're a guy and you start talking about how you change your transmission out on your car and all the process of how to do that. And you see the blink rate go up, yeah, it's time to change the subject. And as a public speaker, I speak to crowds of 200 or 300 on a regular basis. One thing that I do is I take a few people in the first two rows and as I'm making eye

Starting point is 00:23:03 contact, I'm taking the blink rate of the average of the room to measure the interest of everyone in the room. As I'm moving around, I can see how often people are blinking because I'm making eye contact with people in the audience. I know when everybody's interested in the topic, I can keep going a little bit or when I just need to kind of move forward. Something else I found interesting was the shoe removal concept. So from what I remember, it's, if you take off your shoe, it means that you're comfortable, you're confident,

Starting point is 00:23:31 you feel secure. And I do notice that when I'm in a meeting with top executives, they're the ones that are like playing with their shoes. Yeah, absolutely. It's usually the person who's most comfortable does it first. With his authority gives permission for other people to also relax. Yeah, and I wonder if they know about it and they're doing it on purpose or if it's just

Starting point is 00:23:50 subconscious, but probably subconscious, right? I bet most of it's unconscious. I've trained a lot of executives who are behaviorally illiterate. So something else you cover in your book is the 17 human needs and profiling them for weaknesses. We obviously don't have time to cover them all, but can you talk about why it's important to understand people's motivations and explain that to our listeners? Absolutely. So one of the biggest things that you can do when you're talking with someone is just kind of ask yourself questions during the conversation. Something like what makes this person feel significant? What kind of compliments do this person's friends give them

Starting point is 00:24:31 that makes them feel good? So in the very beginning of an interaction, you'll hear those questions and you'll hear the answers to those questions. So you'll see either where they need acceptance or approval or appreciation of some sort. If you want to break it down without going into the needs, there's just six basic questions that you can use during a conversation. Number one, what need are they

Starting point is 00:24:56 showing me right now? So is it a need for significance, acceptance, approval, appreciation, need for variety and multiple experiences. Next would be, what do they like to be complemented on? Number three would be what makes them feel strong. Number four, what do they avoid in order to be happy or feel happy? Number five, what does happy sound like? And their words and their tone. So what words do they use when they're talking about something they enjoy? Which are words

Starting point is 00:25:26 that you can later use during the conversation? And number six, what is at the end? Where do they want to end up? So those six questions will help you in pretty much any conversation that you could have, especially in social scenarios. So something else I think our listeners would find very useful is your five qualities of authority. And I thought maybe we could go into some detail here. The five qualities are control, discipline, leadership, gratitude, and enjoyment. Could you just go through each one and talk about the things you think are most important to discuss? Yes, and since we've done some more research, we've replaced control with confidence. So it's confidence,

Starting point is 00:26:05 discipline, leadership, gratitude, and enjoyment. So those five factors pretty much give you authority. So having that confidence or just being completely certain that the positive outcomes going to happen helps you to have more control over the social situation. So those five qualities alone, if you were just to work on those in your own life, those give you that social authority. Those are what trigger in people's brain. So think of like the Milgram experiment or any experiment that's been done on authority. That authority figure has to have those five qualities in order to control the outcome, to define what

Starting point is 00:26:47 the situation means or what they call setting a frame. And that authority figure has to have those five qualities in order to get compliance or obedience or attention or focus from anyone in the room. So in your opinion, what does it take to have confidence or have discipline or have leadership? Can you talk a little deeper about that? Sure. So I would say that confidence, especially, is one of the most important. So confidence by itself doesn't really do anything without the other four.

Starting point is 00:27:22 Just like everything else, they need each other to survive. But in order to have confidence, let's say all of these go from a one to five. I developed what I call the authority assessment scale to see where a person is on each one of these. So like a level one would be a burden on other people. A level two would be developing. Level three would be positive. Four is inspirational and five is contagious. So like on a confidence, a level one would be like you're unable to start conversations with a stranger. You have a sense of panic when you're meeting new people. Unable to introduce yourself to strangers,

Starting point is 00:27:57 socially withdrawn, you're unable to accept compliments from people. It takes criticism way too personally. Unable to offer your own opinions and most conversations, gripping or frequent indecision, giving up on goals regularly, and changing yourself to please other people. So that would be like a level one, and a level five where you're contagious. So your confidence is contagious to the point where other people are around you, they become confident.

Starting point is 00:28:22 That would be like you're able to converse with anyone at any time, you receive criticism well regardless of the source. Your self-image is really positive, you have no need for reassurance, take action, like physical action with your body, without reservation or hesitation. And you tactfully stop all negativity when it's being discussed around you. You set detailed and relevant goals. Others tend to emulate your behavior and personality traits at the level five level of all of these. We'll be right back after a quick break from our sponsors. Young M-Profiters, as you may know, I work out a lot.

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Starting point is 00:32:51 Michael McCallowicz taught me about Profit First when he came on the show back in episode number 219. To calculate profits, businesses typically use this formula. Sales minus expenses equals profits. The Profit First reframed this equation by putting profit first. The formula becomes sales minus profit equals expenses. This seems like a subtle shift, but following profit first with relay makes me way more mindful of profit margins and expenses. And it also helps me identify areas of waste more easily. The system also requires you to transfer predetermined percentages of your incoming funds into different accounts in order to cover things like profits, taxes,

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Starting point is 00:34:01 That's Relay Fi dot com slash profiting. Relay is a financial technology company not an FDIC-entered bank. Banking services and FDIC insurance provided through Evolve Bank and Trust and Thread Bank members FDIC. The relay visa debit card is issued by Thread Bank, pursuant to a license from Visa USA Incorporated, and may be used everywhere visa debit cards are accepted. Yeah, that's so interesting. I feel like if there was one thing that every professional everywhere, visa debit cards are accepted. Yeah, that's so interesting. I feel like if there was one thing

Starting point is 00:34:28 that every professional could use as this assessment tool and making sure they kind of move up the ladder in a positive way, I was listening to an interview that you had recently and you were talking about how you were able to tell a lot about a person just by having a phone conversation with them. Can you talk about how your personal life can leak out in your external actions and everything that you do and how we kind of have to have our own discipline in our personal lives?

Starting point is 00:34:54 Absolutely. And this is one of the most critical things for somebody to really understand that on the phone, it comes in the form of hesitation. It comes in the form of people saying, or, or, or hedging some of the stuff they know, like they have question marks on the ends of their sentences. So they're inviting other people to agree with them, even though it's a statement.

Starting point is 00:35:17 And over the phone, especially, you'll hear the indecisions, you'll hear people that are kind of have non-dissisive language, like I just did with the word kind of, and I just slipped it in. So this overall sense of confidence or discipline or leadership bleeds out into your personal life. So a good example would be the last time that you went to a party or the last time you went out to a concert or something and you left a giant pile of laundry undone or you left a huge pile of dishes in the sink or you're late on your bills or you meant to wash your car that day but you didn't

Starting point is 00:35:57 and it looks like it's disgusting. So something was left undone. Part of our brain, I don't know which part, I don't think anyone does, but there's part of our brain that's dedicated to reminding us when we've forgotten to do something or when we've neglected something. And no matter how confident your body language is, no matter how in control and how many tactics and cool stuff you learn on YouTube or how many articles you read

Starting point is 00:36:26 about how to appear more confident, it's going to look confident on the exterior. But the event will happen to the point where the person gets the feeling like something's not right. And we've all experienced that with one or two people at least in our lives, where we're talking to somebody, everything looks right on the exterior, but something feels off. Something doesn't match. So this incongruence, there's an incongruence in the physical behavior of the person you're speaking to, and something that's leaking out. We call this nonverbal leakage. So we are somehow unconsciously communicating to their unconscious that we're not actually confident. We're not actually a good leader. We neglected something at home. So my key point is that if you don't have what we call the five mastery zones of authority, if you don't have those things handled in your personal life,

Starting point is 00:37:22 it's going to leak out in every conversation every day of your life. Sometimes you might get away with it and the person may not notice. Most of the time something is going to feel off about the conversation to the other person. And those mastery zones are environment, time, appearance, social, and financial, and they have to be done in order. So like you get your environment handled. You make your bed, you pick up after yourself, you don't leave messes, you don't make messes, and you don't walk past a mess ever. Like your environment is controlled not by anyone else, but like you are in control of your environment. That helps build the confidence. And then you start controlling your time. You manage your time and you cannot manage time without priorities.

Starting point is 00:38:05 Because whenever you hear somebody says, well, I don't have time for that. It just means it's not a priority. I don't have time to go to the gym. Means, gym's not a priority. I don't have time to eat right, eating right it's not a priority. So controlling your time, getting control over your time.

Starting point is 00:38:20 And then your physical appearance. There are thousands of research studies that say better looking people, not just genetically better looking, but people who are well taken care of, people who look fit and look happy and look confident, receive lesser prison sentences. They're more likely to get out of a traffic ticket,

Starting point is 00:38:39 they'll have better pay at jobs, they're more likely to get hired. All around our entire society, this appearance plays a major role and it plays a major role in your authority too, when you speak to other people. Whether you're in sales, business, doesn't matter, or you're working at Williams, Sonoma, it doesn't matter. Appearance comes after that.

Starting point is 00:38:59 And after that is your social skills, your social development. So being able to carry on a regular conversation, can I make small talk, can I tell a compelling story to someone that I just met without closing off. So forcing yourself to develop social muscles is really important. And finally, the financial part, even if your finances are screwed up, your credit is screwed up, go see somebody now.

Starting point is 00:39:23 Just having your brain start to understand that you're getting back on track will shut off that leakage. So just starting to bring that under control or grab this steering wheel and like drive it back onto the road where it's supposed to be with your finances, that stops the nonverbal leakage of irresponsibility to some degree. That's super, super helpful advice. I feel like if everybody could just make a little movement in those areas, we'll all be in a better place. Okay, so I thought maybe we could close out the episode with some practical scenarios. I think a really interesting one could be a networking event.

Starting point is 00:40:00 Being at a networking event, what are the kind of behaviors that we should look out for? How should we act ourselves? Can you kind of just like describe like what an ideal situation would be in terms of a networking event? Absolutely. And if you want this from like a intelligence training perspective, the first thing you need to do before the network event starts is to push yourself as hard as you Frick and can to get up to a level five on confidence leadership discipline, gratitude, and enjoyment. That alone will make you more magnetic than anyone else in the room. So that being said, everyone wants to teach you the tricks.

Starting point is 00:40:36 Here's what to say. Here's how to shake someone's hand. You need to make eye contact. You need to smile. You need to show your teeth when you smile, even if they don't look great. So these are all little tricks. And when you see like networking tricks, how to meet new people, all of that are ways to pretend like you've got your stuff together. So if you think about all the tricks and tactics of persuasion, they're all ways to pretend or kind of fake someone out into thinking that you have either a confidence,

Starting point is 00:41:06 discipline, leadership, gratitude, or you're enjoying yourself. All of those things. So, getting those handled beforehand means you're not going to have to worry about the tricks when you're meeting new people. But out of networking event, I would say the number one quality that you can have is a genuine interest in other people. Out of a networking event, everyone wants to talk about themselves, talk about their new product that they're launching, the business they're working on, and they want to talk about their

Starting point is 00:41:32 goals, which goes back to that six questions. So those are just kind of those x-ray questions. We'll really help you out in a conversation. Just talking to people and having that genuine interest. And making people feel interesting is more important than making them feel interested. So at the networking event, if you're going to a networking event, be the first one to introduce yourself, be the first one to introduce a stranger you just met

Starting point is 00:41:58 to another stranger that you just met. You become the network. So you become the web as much as possible to the furthest extent to introduce other people that you just met to someone that else that you just met. And you kind of be the glue that kind of holds everybody together. Be the first one to hand out your business card, be the first one to reach out. I've been to some networking events here in Virginia Beach and you see people that are afraid to talk to each other who came to an event

Starting point is 00:42:23 specifically designed for people to talk to each other who came to an event specifically designed for people to talk to each other. So I would say, if there's any place on earth where you have permission to go talk to strangers anytime you want, it's a networking event. And that's one of your chances also to start boosting up the social part of the authority mastery zone. Very cool, very good advice. Scenario number two, a conflict with an individual

Starting point is 00:42:47 whether that's work or school. So this one, I will give you a few tips and tricks. Although I'm a firm believer that you can learn 99% of your leadership lessons from watching episodes of Andy Griffith. If you're having to have a difficult conversation with someone, you have to announce their point of view before you begin speaking, or before you start talking about anything that's on your agenda to speak about.

Starting point is 00:43:13 Always start the conversation with, I realize it's got to be really tough for you to be able to do X, Y, and Z, or I can't imagine that you have to deal with this and this and this. So you have to start out by realizing that other person's point of view, which I learned from Andy Griffith. I would say that the best thing you can do is deliver it quick and have the conversation as quick as possible. And only speak in terms of effect. Not your opinion on how the person has done something wrong or somehow transgressed against the company values or something like that. Only speaking terms of the effect that the behavior has had

Starting point is 00:43:51 instead of how the behavior is bad. And how can we kind of judge how well the conversation is going? Like if we're making an impact and improving our relationship in the conversation. You're going to see a decrease in blink rate once they realize there's not gonna be a fight, they're not gonna get yelled at, and there's no argument. They're being given a second chance most of the time.

Starting point is 00:44:12 And as you start talking about the effect it has, you'll start to see head nodding, and you'll see breathing into the stomach instead of the chest. But while you start nodding your head during the conversation and you're talking about the effect on the company or the effect on the the business You'll see a co-naughting or them nodding their head with you

Starting point is 00:44:31 and as you finish or start wrapping up talking about the effect they have had on the company or like the negative part of the conversation You will start to see relaxation That means there's more agreement there. That means there's less anger So a person who's really pissed off and is going to remain pissed off when they go out of the office, they'll stay closed. Their behavior is going to stay closed even after the negative information. A person who's kind of accepting of the negative information or the difficult conversation, you'll see their hands start to open up, their legs start to open up, their shoulders will kind of fall down,

Starting point is 00:45:04 just a little bit. Their breathing weight is going to slow down, and their blink rate will also slow down. As the stress kind of releases, and they realize they have a second chance, or that they've taken the lesson on. Got it. So, Chase, I want to be conscious of our time. So where can our listeners find everything that you do or learn more about everything that you do? Yeah, they can Google my name, Chase Hughes, or they can go to our website, which

Starting point is 00:45:31 is ellipsisbehavior.com. On the website, there's tons of training on there that's free, tons of behavior profiling training that's free, and they can download all kinds of free resources. Because most of my target market is to the federal government or local police agencies. So stuff I do for the public is usually free. Got it. And your book is called the ellipsis manual, correct? Yes, the ellipsis manual. We just hit 18 months on the number one bestseller list on Amazon. All right. Cool. So thank you so much for joining the show. Like we mentioned, we're going to have all of our different resources in the show notes. So for the folks that want to explore more, they'll have the mechanism to do that.

Starting point is 00:46:12 And I definitely want to thank you for your time. This was very interesting. And I hope you have a great rest of your day. Thanks, Hala. Great to be on the show. you

Young and Profiting with Hala Taha - YAPClassic: Chase Hughes on Hacking Human Behavior, The Secrets to Gaining Influence

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