Young and Profiting with Hala Taha - YAPClassic: Ed Mylett on The Power of One More, How to Reprogram Your Mind to Get What You Want

Episode Date: June 9, 2023

As a child, Ed Mylett carried a lot of internalized shame. His father was an alcoholic, he was riddled with anxiety, and his classmates bullied him for being too skinny. When Ed was 15, his dad got so...ber, which taught Ed that people can change their lives at any time. Now, Ed is considered one of the best speakers and mindset coaches in the world. In this episode of YAPClassic, Hala and Ed chat about Ed’s new book, The Power of One More. They also talk about the trilogy of identity, the role of intentions in goal-setting, and how learning to reprogram our Reticular Activating System (RAS) can help us live our dream life.  Ed Mylett is a renowned entrepreneur, speaker, and author who has amassed millions of followers on social media. He is known for his inspirational speeches, books, and podcasts that motivate individuals to achieve success in all areas of their lives. Ed has been named one of Forbes’ Top 50 Wealth Coaches and has been featured in prominent publications like Entrepreneur and Business Insider. In this episode, Hala and Ed will discuss:  - Using your worst mistakes to help others heal - How to touch your dreams before they come true  - Reprogramming your Reticular Activating System  - Living in your imagination instead of your worries - How parents implant their limiting beliefs into their children - How to adjust your identity as you accumulate new skills - The value of faith, intention, and association - How to build a social circle that encourages your success - The power of blissful dissatisfaction  - And other topics… Ed Mylett is a business leader, peak performance expert, life & business strategist, author, and podcaster. Ed got his start in the financial services industry, where his success earned him a spot on the Forbes 50 Wealthiest Under 50 List. Ed is now involved in a range of ventures, including technology, real estate, health, food/nutrition, and more.  Ed is the author of Max Out Your Life and The Power of One More - The Ultimate Guide to Happiness and Success (June 2022). He is also the founder and host of his podcast and YouTube Channel, The Ed Mylett Show. LinkedIn Secrets Masterclass, Have Job Security For Life: Use code ‘podcast’ for 30% off at yapmedia.io/course. Resources Mentioned: The Power of One More: https://thepowerofonemore.com/  The Ed Mylett Show: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-ed-mylett-show/id1181233130 Ed’s books: https://www.amazon.com/Ed-Mylett/e/B07G7H2JTB  Ed’s Website: https://www.edmylett.com/ Ed’s Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/edmylett/ Ed’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/EdMylett  Ed’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/edmylett Ed’s Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/EdMylettFanPage  Sponsored By:  Brevo - Go to youngandprofiting.co/brevo and use the promo code "PROFITING" to save 50% on your first 3 months of the Starter & Business plan! Collective - Go to Collective.com to save on taxes this year Nom Nom - Go to trynom.com/YAP for 50% off on your two-week trial Masterclass - Go to masterclass.com/profiting for 15% off an annual membership. More About Young and Profiting Download Transcripts - youngandprofiting.com/episodes-new/ Get Sponsorship Deals - youngandprofiting.com/sponsorships Leave a Review - ratethispodcast.com/yap Watch Videos - youtube.com/c/YoungandProfiting Follow Hala Taha LinkedIn - linkedin.com/in/htaha/ Instagram - instagram.com/yapwithhala/ TikTok - tiktok.com/@yapwithhala Twitter - twitter.com/yapwithhala Learn more about YAP Media Agency Services - yapmedia.io/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 This episode of YAP is sponsored in part by Shopify. Shopify simplifies selling online and in-person so you can focus on successfully growing your business. Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at Shopify.com slash profiting. The cost of firearm training has skyrocketed, introducing Strike Man, a laser firearm training system. Have you ever seen competitive shooters practicing timing drills on the range? Imagine being able to do that at home any time you want without spinning a dime on ammo.
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Starting point is 00:01:02 to TrainWithStrikeman.com and use code Train25 for 25% off. Put the power back in your hands with StrikeMan. Hey all, I'm super excited for today's episode because we're replaying my interview with Ed Mylett. Ed Mylett is a global speaker, coach, entrepreneur, two-time best-selling author, TV host, and top-ranked podcast host. He's considered one of the most inspiring speakers of our time. In this episode, Ed uncovers how his philosophy,
Starting point is 00:01:45 the power of one more, can help you achieve greatness. We also talk about how to gain confidence, the role of intention and goal setting, and how to take your visualization to the next level. In my opinion, this was one of our best interviews of 2022, so I can't wait for you guys to hear it, especially if you haven't heard it yet. Without further ado, let's listen to my conversation with Ed Mylett. Hey, Ed, welcome to Young & Profiting Podcasts. Thank you for having me. I've been looking forward to this all day.
Starting point is 00:02:16 I'm excited. Me too. I'm psyched. You are one of my favorite podcasters. We interview a lot of the same people, and so I usually listen to your show before the guest comes on my show I study with your show and so you're one of my go-to's and for those who may not know you you're renowned
Starting point is 00:02:32 keynote speaker a performance coach and entrepreneur and a best-selling author You're worth hundreds of millions of dollars. You've built nine figure businesses and now you hold ownership stake in 23 different companies. So that's all really exciting stuff. You also just launched your newest book called The Power of One More. So we're going to dive into all of that, but before we get into it, I always like to take it back to your younger years, and you were way different back then. I think it's going to be super inspiring for my listeners to hear how you've transformed. So based on my research, you grew up in California. You were the only boy in a family with three younger sisters.
Starting point is 00:03:09 You were a scrawny kid, nicknamed Eddie Spaghetti. And you seem really confident and outgoing, but it turns out you weren't always like this. So, talk to us about what you were like as a child and a team. Thank you for preparing so well. That's awesome. I respect that because I do have a show. Child, insecure, shy, anxiety, fear, depressed. That sounds good, doesn't it? I'm a child of an alcoholic father. So I was raised at the power of one more the book I have is
Starting point is 00:03:38 is a lot of lessons in that in my life about that. But so when you're raised with a dysfunctional family, you just grow up with anxiety and you don't grow up feeling very good about that. But so when you're raised with a dysfunctional family, you just grow up with anxiety, and you don't grow up feeling very good about yourself. So many mornings I would leave my house just ashamed, and why do I have to come from this family when everyone's got a normal family? And then I was small, like you said,
Starting point is 00:03:55 I got bullied a lot in school. And so I got into personal development. By the way, the good news is my dad got sober and completely changed his life, which we'll talk about. Funny thing, my dad got sober on 420. So my dad, I think birthday is 420, which is hilarious. Only my dad would do that. But what happened for me was that I was good in sports, I was a good baseball player, so
Starting point is 00:04:14 I was the one place I could flourish. But I had to learn about personal development and self-help and the strategies of building confidence and visualizations in your particular activating system and your brain and all these other things, just to become a baseline functioning human being. And then when I got there, I'm like, wow, I'm good at this. I have my own strategies, my own style, my own things I've learned that are sort of my recipe, and then I started to take them to another level.
Starting point is 00:04:38 And then I think I became a pretty self-confident person. It doesn't mean that I still don't struggle with some insecurity or fears because I do, but I transformed myself with the stuff that I write about in this book because I had to. And so when you say hundreds of millions of dollars and all that, like that still to this day is so bizarre to me that that's true. Like, had you met me at any age, like even high school, I wasn't like a loser in high school. I was just like, oh, there's Eddie, Eddie Mila, you know, just another dude. You would have never picked me. I didn't have great grades, but I wasn't like a loser in high school. I was just like, oh, there's Eddie, Eddie Mila, you know, just another dude. You would have never picked me.
Starting point is 00:05:07 I didn't have great grades, but I wasn't the dumbest kid. You know what I mean? Like, I just was there. I was just a dude. Yeah. It's so interesting how people transform and you always talk about like those small actions that like really compound over time. And so for you is like hard work.
Starting point is 00:05:23 It's not like you've this like extraordinary, I heard you on an interview say that you had a very average IQ. It's not like you're some very like extraordinarily smart person. You just work hard, right? Yeah. Well, I work smart too. So like, yeah, I'm not high IQ. In fact, the funny thing I recently for the second time, just for fun, in my family, there's my wife and two kids. We took the IQ test again. I'm fourth out of four in our own house. So kind of, I know my limitations, I got to outwork people, but I also have to have stuff that that I can kind of cut corners on in life that are legal. You know, I mean, like legal corner cutting that speed things up. And so I've learned all these strategies about like my time and my standards and my particular activating system in my brain and how to program it. And so, yeah, I don't come to the table.
Starting point is 00:06:08 Nor do I want you. If I were brilliant, I couldn't give people hope, right? If there was something super special about me, then I believe average ordinary people every day build extra ordinary lives. And as you know, I coach some of the top people in the world, whether it's politics or entertainment or athletes and some of them have extraordinary abilities. And some of them don't. And I've seen both types of people achieve in life. I'm just the one with not great abilities or talents that have achieved some pretty good stuff. Yeah. Well, you do have some great talents. You're an amazing communicator. And speaking of that, how did you learn how to master those skills at such a young age?
Starting point is 00:06:45 Well, I'm watching you do it. So I'd be curious how you did it, but my biggest fears was public speaking, but the Poehlian Hill says, and think and grow rich. On the other side of temporary pain, you meet your other self. So if you can go through, I've a chapter in the book called one more inconvenience. And I literally teach you how to chase inconvenient things. And so one of the most inconvenient things I could ever do would be to get up and speak in public. Actually, even to speak in private,
Starting point is 00:07:07 like just three people in a room would be hard for me. But on the other side of that discomfort and that pain, I really learned a gift that I had. And you know, God did give me a really pretty good, deep voice. I could have known that all along, but I didn't. And then what I did is I studied speakers, but not like public speakers.
Starting point is 00:07:24 That's why my style is sort of different and why I, there's a survey just came out and raked me the number one speaker in the world. I'm like, wow, and to think 25 years ago, I've never have done it. Because I didn't study speakers. I've studied comedians. I've studied my favorite standups.
Starting point is 00:07:38 Most of my best friends are standups. I go to comedy clubs. Those are the best communicators on the planet to walk in a room full of strangers and make them laugh within 20 seconds. The way they use nuance, positioning their body language, phrase theology, the way they use silence, the way they use tonality.
Starting point is 00:07:53 And then I also watch a lot of preachers. I've watched a lot of pastors over my lifetime, like TV pastors and stuff, because they're incredible orators. Now, I'm not like any of them, but I'm a little bit like all of them. And so that's how I actually did it was modeling. I think one of the lost art forms in the world is modeling people,
Starting point is 00:08:09 like not copying, but modeling them, and then making it your own nuanced style. So that's the exact answer of how I did it. Yeah, that's really interesting. You do sort of have that like comedian slash preacher with your communication style. That's really interesting. So let's talk about transformations. So you recently lost your father. I did as well. I think we lost our dads around the same time. He actually lived sort of two lives.
Starting point is 00:08:31 I think you were 15 years old. He got sober, right? And he basically transformed into this whole other person. And I'm sure that had a lot to do with your personal transformation as well. And your ability to believe that people can change, right? So can you talk to us about that? You nailed it. So my belief that human beings can change is not a belief, it's a knowing. And it's a knowing because I watched my hero do it.
Starting point is 00:08:53 First 15 years of my life, my dad got sober seven days before my 15th birthday. And I told you it was 420. And it was nine days after his birthday. The rest of my life, my dad never sobered in his actual birthday. Only still ridded his sobriety birthday. Wow. I believe human beings can change and know they can't because I watched my hero do it. First 15 years, my dad didn't live right. Did not live
Starting point is 00:09:12 well at all. Last 35 extraordinary best life I've ever watched be lived. And so I know people can change. And it made a huge impact on me though, my dad got sober. But there's the one mores, like out of the book, those lessons started with his sobriety. We're driving, never seen my dad cry before. We're driving to a baseball game of mine and he's crying when he's driving. I'm like, oh no, what's going on? And finally he pulls over and he goes, hey, I'm gonna go try to get sober one more time.
Starting point is 00:09:36 Cause he had tried many times. And he said, I'm gonna give it one more try. There's a chapter in the book called One More Try. I said, Dad, what would be any different this time? And he said, I'm going to lose everything. But your mom's taking you and the girls. So I'm going to lose my family. And you know what, you deserve a dad.
Starting point is 00:09:51 You can be proud of your mom deserves a husband she can respect. And then he got sober. I said, Daddy, are you going to stay sober forever? You're never going to drink again. He goes, I don't know. I'm just not going to drink for one more day. And there's been so many times in our life.
Starting point is 00:10:03 So we have to think, we think everything we have to decide is permanent. The truth is, very few there's been so many times in our life. So we think everything we have to decide is permanent. The truth is very few things are permanent. We both lost our fathers. Like, their bodies weren't permanent. It turns out, right? They're temporary. And most things are temporary.
Starting point is 00:10:14 So in business, many times I was going to quit. Because this idea never quit. That's a hard thing to make. But a lot of times I want, you know what? Okay, I just won't quit for one more day. See how I do tomorrow. And then the next day, I just won't quit for one more day. And those one more started to really stack up. If I could tell you something that's new,
Starting point is 00:10:30 that is just a new breakthrough for me, it's a long and good I apologize, but I wanted to share it with you because I already love you, because the way you prepare. So I'll share something extra with you. I woke up about two weeks ago. It's been three weeks now,
Starting point is 00:10:42 and I woke my wife up and I said, babe, and I was pretty emotional. I said, babe, I want everyone to hear this. You can just remember this the rest of your life. It's not even in my book. I said, babe, someone helped my dad, and it never occurred to me before. She says, what, she's waking up.
Starting point is 00:10:54 I said, someone helped my dad. The most important decision of my entire life is my dad getting sober. It's why I'm talking to millions of people. Our kids, our grandkids, millions of people have reached some precious soul helped my daddy in the darkest moment, most shameful, down moment of his life. Some human being rose up in their humanity to that moment and saved our family.
Starting point is 00:11:16 And I don't know who they are. And it never occurred to me before. And I said, baby, it goes a level deeper. What qualified this person to help my dad? The thing they were the most ashamed of in embarrassed by they were also an alcoholic and a drug addict at one point. So the things they were the most ashamed of, most embarrassed by that they think disqualified them the most from winning because most people listen to your show. They're like, yeah, but I'm young and you don't know about me, but like I've done this stuff
Starting point is 00:11:40 on embarrassed by I never did this well. I broke up with my boyfriend or girlfriend or my first business failed. Not me. I'm disqualified. The very things you're most embarrassed about, ashamed of or think our average about you are the things that are qualifying you to change people's lives. This person, imagine when they were drinking, drive and drunk, making the biggest mistakes of life. Little did they know they were preparing for that moment to change my dad's life and mine. And then millions of other people by extension, the ripple effect, when they were doing drugs and stealing money and lying, they were preparing. It's your humanity, it's your frailties, it's your weaknesses.
Starting point is 00:12:15 It's the things you're most vulnerable when you share with other people and then show them how to do something better that changes people's lives. When you link your weakness, like I start out, I'm dumb. I'm not the dumbest guy in the world, but I'm the smartest guy in the world. People go, I can't believe you say that about yourself. It's what helps me connect with you. If I had a 250 IQ, you'd be like,
Starting point is 00:12:33 well, this dude's amazing. Of course you did. No, I got a 760 on my SATs. I'm a C plus student. I was not, you know, I didn't run a 4 4 40. Like I'm just an average guy. And you know what, that's what prepares me to help you. And so that person's drug and alcohol addiction
Starting point is 00:12:49 is what prepared them to change millions of people's lives. So never disqualify yourself. Well, that was powerful. I had chills while you were telling that story. I love that. We are definitely gonna cover a lot in your book. And I definitely wanna spend about half the interview on that, but I do wanna cover your journey.
Starting point is 00:13:07 And I have a lot of questions for you personally. So let's get the highlight real. I don't think we have time to go through your entire journey, but why don't we start with your first job out of college. So you're unemployed, you're living in the house that you grew up in, and your dad told you to go work at a home for under-privileged boys. So talk to us about how that experience changed your life.
Starting point is 00:13:28 My dad came home from his first AA meeting. He's that crazy. He just got sober. Wow. He goes, hey, I got you a job. And I said, what is it? He goes, you don't get to pick, man, you're eating out of my fridge. I had just finished college. I was not employed. I go down there and it's an orphanage. My boys were all words of the court, meaning their families were gone or they were taken from them. My boys, their parents either molested them. No, man. We're dead or we're incarcerated for major crimes. And so I walked into college eight. My boys were all eight to ten years old. I had no preparation to be there. I was not a psychologist. I didn't have any kids
Starting point is 00:14:03 of my own and I didn't know what I was doing there. And a minute I walked in, they were all getting ready for school and they all turned around and looked at me. And here I am. And I went on to be a three-year journey where I was their brother and father and I took them to school and took them to trick or treat. And I was there on Thanksgiving when their uncle stood them up. I was their dad, their best friend, and it changed my life and it changed my life because before that I was all about me, baseball, my ego, my problems, my life. Well, when you have 10 boys that are 8 to 10 years old depending on you, you don't have time to think about yourself. You have to think about them.
Starting point is 00:14:34 And where's what I learned when I was there? And maybe this sounds hokey, but it's how I've made, I don't know, several hundred million dollars. So it's worth listening to. You know those boys wanted for me? Someone to love them and someone to care about them. And here's a biggie that most people don't get. Someone to believe in them, believe in them, and then just show them how to do better. And while I was there, I started
Starting point is 00:14:54 into my financial company and started other businesses with real estate and stuff when I was there. And as I got out of there, I realized something. They weren't unique. Do you know what you want? Do you know what my best athletes want that I coach? The people that run countries that I work with. The most famous people you've seen me golfing with or whatever people that I work with. They want people to love them, care about them. Here's a big one, believe in them,
Starting point is 00:15:18 and then just show them how to do something better. So when I started my financial company, I came from a place of love in people, caring about people, truly believing in people. And then, hey, let me show you, when I can connect with you like that, now let me show you how I can help you. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:30 And that's where I've always built all my businesses, my podcasts, my financial, my tech companies, my chocolate company, my food company, my financial company, my real estate empire, all built based on what I learned from those boys. And here's the last thing, God does not call the qualified. He qualifies the called. I wasn't qualified to be there with those boys. But when I got there, I was called
Starting point is 00:15:49 to be there. He then qualified me to help them. And so you don't have to be prepared all the time in life and know everything in order to step in somewhere and really make a difference. I love that. Do you still keep in touch with any of those boys? No one's ever asked me that. God bless you. Yeah, about three quarters of them. Well, one of them's passed away and a couple of them, we, you know, just lost contact with over time, but they are. They're men with families now. And so, yeah, I do. And no one has ever asked that follow-up question in all the years I've talked about that. So, yeah, I do. I love them. They're my family. Let's hold that thought and take a quick break with our sponsors. Young and profitors, do you have a brilliant business idea but you don't know how to move
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Starting point is 00:19:43 that you have like 20 different businesses that you're invested in. And a lot of people think that in order to be rich, you've got to have all these different income streams. You have to have multiple income streams passive income and all these different things, but it turns out focus is really how you build your wealth. And then you can kind of diversify your income later. So can you talk to us about the importance of focus and really getting good at one thing? Yeah, it's a lie that it's a fact that's not true that all millionaires have
Starting point is 00:20:12 multiple streams of income. So then what do we do when we have no money? We go, well, I got a multiple lines. I got to have a mortgage business. I'm going to do an auto detailing deal over there. I got a cannabis thing over here and you end up broke. So although it's true, it's although although it's a fact, it's not true. What do I mean by that? Once you become worth millions of dollars, then you diversify your income streams into multiple streams. But the path to getting there is by doing one thing greatly.
Starting point is 00:20:37 Get great. Be the best mortgage broker, be the best realtor, be the best entrepreneur, be the best, whatever you do, be the best podcaster, be the best influencer and build that thing great. Greatness rises, greatness creates wealth. And if I'm full time at being great in one industry and you're splitting it between three, I'm a kick your ass. There's no way when you're doing three things and I'm in the same one where we overlap and I'm doing one.
Starting point is 00:21:02 Imagine I want to be a major league baseball player and I'm coming up and I go, yeah, but I also wash clothes on the weekends. I'm learning to play the piano and I'm a plumber, but you play baseball all day long. Who's gonna be the major league baseball player? The idea that, oh, I'm gonna diversify. So many of you are doing two and three things. God bless you, you're doing it for the right reasons
Starting point is 00:21:22 and you're losing energy. You're depleting your ability to grow. You're going to get smoked by the person who dominates that space you're in. Dominate the space you're in. Dominate the business you're in. Become a millionaire and then go multiple streams of income. It focused. I totally totally agree. I mean, I see it with podcasters all the time. There's people who are podcasters who have no idea how podcastcasting works, how to make money in podcasting, how sponsorships work, how anything works.
Starting point is 00:21:49 And it's like, you've got to learn your craft if you actually want to be successful at it or else nothing's gonna happen. So here's another point that I think is just so, it was so inspiring for me when I was, like, just learning more about you. And that's how you always talk about actually stepping into your dream.
Starting point is 00:22:06 The need to actually experience your dream. I remember I heard you tell a story about you and your wife, like, going to the Ritz Carlton and just doing that for one day to just feel like it's like, what it's like to have valet parking and things like that. Today, you have a private jet. And like, that's insane. You know, you've elevated yourself to a point
Starting point is 00:22:24 where barely anybody makes it to that point to be able to afford a private jet. And so talk just about the need to actually experience your dream. You should touch your dreams. And the reason is you belong in them, but you move towards what you're most familiar with in your life.
Starting point is 00:22:40 So if you're familiar all the time with your current thoughts and your current life, you'll constantly keep moving towards it. So every once in a while, you gotta go touch your dreams. So like you said, when the time with your current thoughts and your current life, you'll constantly keep moving towards it. So every once in a while, you got to go touch your dreams. So like you said, when I was up and coming, I would set contests up with myself. If I didn't hit them, I wouldn't do it. But I'd say, babe, if I make 10 sales this month and I make 8 grand, let's take 500 bucks, let's go down to the Ritz-Crawlton on Saturday night.
Starting point is 00:22:59 We'll get the cheapest room there, but I would touch the dream. And so I'd get there, like a big shot. You know, I flipped my keys to the valet. I'd never done that crap before. You know, hey, Mr. Mylette, they grab your bags. I used to be so cheap. I'm like, no, we got our bags. So I don't want to give the, the Belman four bucks.
Starting point is 00:23:14 Now, I'm like, no, you get my bag, man. You walk up, you check in. Hey, babe, let's get up into the room. You go get a massage, honey. I'm gonna go play some golf. I'll meet you at the pool later. Let's have a bottle of wine. And so for one day, we would touch this dream. We'd sit there, Daniel. Babe, we're going to live like this all the time someday.
Starting point is 00:23:30 We just take a taste. And then maybe six weeks later, we do it again. Eight weeks later, we go out to the Lakinta resort, you know, do it again. And all of a sudden, over time, I'm like, I'm kind of familiar with the valet. I'm kind of familiar with the ocean front. I'm kind of familiar with the golf course. And I'm like, we belong here. All of a sudden, the more familiar I became with it, then I started looking at the houses when I'm kind of familiar with oceanfront. I'm kind of familiar with the golf course. And I'm like, we belong here. All of a sudden, the more familiar I became with it, then I start looking into houses when I'm there, right? Then I start playing the golf a little bit different. And over time, I'm like, we belong here,
Starting point is 00:23:54 because I didn't grow up like that. We used to walk on the beach I live on right now. We go to the ritz. I can walk to the montage. That was the other place we would go after I got older. I walk right to the montage for breakfast now. But we would come down this beach when we were kids. I say, babe, I'm gonna get us a house on this beach someday when we would go after I got older, I walk right to the montage for breakfast now. But we would come down this beach and we were kids, I say, babe, I'm gonna get us a house on this beach someday
Starting point is 00:24:08 when we would be taking these walks. No idea how I was gonna do it. She says, you are, honey, I'm like, some days we're in high school, sweethearts. I'm like, yeah, some day we're gonna do it. And I'm like, I'm home, I'd say to my dad, I say, dad, who are these people? Who are these people that are these,
Starting point is 00:24:20 oh, he was doing, I have no idea these frigate people. I've never met any of them. I have no, I've never met someone who lives oceanfront. Yeah. And then I figured it out. They're the one. So you in the book, I have this chapter called The Matrix. I love The Matrix about your RAS,
Starting point is 00:24:32 but the real reason I read about The Matrix is Neo in The Matrix is the one. See, in every family, if you find a family that's wealthy or successful or happy, but you go all the way back in their lineage, at one point they weren't. And then the one shows up. The one in that family rises up, takes all the hits, fights for that family.
Starting point is 00:24:49 I'm the one in my family, and they change that family forever. The world doesn't treat them my lets like they used to. No one's got their thumb on my family anymore. We think different. We operate in the world different, because the one showed up. The one. And if you're listening to this, you're the one in your family. You're the one. And over time of walking these beaches, over time of going to the Ritz Carlton, I figured out I'm the freaking one. And I'm the one that's going to do it.
Starting point is 00:25:10 Now I literally live on the beach. It's one, I own an island. That's about an island that's a hundred acres. You said I have a jet. I was about to have five jets. I've owned five jets in my life. And so you go from that to how broke I once was in my life. I've had the water turned off in my life. And so you go from that to how broke I once was in my life, I've had the water
Starting point is 00:25:25 turned off in my apartment. I've been completely without power, without water, without a cell phone. I've gone to an ATM and prayed. I had 21 bucks at the bank, so it's spit of 20 out because all it would spit was 20s. And I got 14 bucks in there and I can't even get a $20 bill out of an ATM. I know what all that is, but I also know what it's like to touch my dreams. And now I know what it's like to live my dreams. And what's different about me than most people is I didn't get rich telling people how to get rich. I got rich then I tell people what I did to get rich.
Starting point is 00:25:54 And so in this book is the strategies of how I did it. And I documented it. Yeah. It's a really good book. I think a great transition and foundation before we talk about the book is to talk about the reticular activating system, the RAS. We've talked about neuroplasticity a lot on the show. We've had John Astrofon and Dr. Caroline Leif.
Starting point is 00:26:14 And we've talked a bit about this, but I'd love to hear it from your perspective. So what is the reticular activating system? And how does things like stepping into your dream activate the system? You're one of my favorite interviews ever seriously. So are you asking chapter two in my book? I cover it. I call the Matrix in the book But here's what it is It's the filter that reveals to you everything that matters to you in your life
Starting point is 00:26:34 That's important and it proves to you that you're right. It's the prover keeps you sane too Otherwise, you'd be thinking about all the stimulus brother the blood in your right air going right now You're breathing right so you have to stay sane So it reveals to you what's most important to you. Give you an example. I just bought a Tesla about a week ago. I like what Elon Musk is doing. I call my team.
Starting point is 00:26:51 I go, hey, get me one of these Teslas. I'm going to start driving the guys car. Next day, Tesla's in my driveway and I'm driving it. All of a sudden, now I'm like, see in freaking Teslas everywhere. Babe, red one. There's a white one. The other day, I'm like, there's three in a row. You got to be kidding.
Starting point is 00:27:03 I'm on the freeway. Three lanes over. The other direction going the other way. Babe, there's a white one. The other day I'm like, there's three in a row. You gotta be kidding. I'm on the freeway. Three lanes over. The other direction going the other way. Babe, there's a black Tesla. I see him everywhere now. Wouldn't they always there? They were. But I didn't see them before because they weren't a part
Starting point is 00:27:15 of my RAS. They weren't programmed into my filter. When you go into a crowded room, I go into a crowded room. There could be 500 people in a room. Audible. They didn't have to say it loud. Someone says, Ed, if I hear that name,
Starting point is 00:27:24 I can hear it audibly over why. It's important to me. So the key thing in life is that programming your mind, that the Tesla's become the relationships, the meetings, the thoughts, the breakthroughs you have to have in your life. They were always there, they are there right now, but you're not seeing them
Starting point is 00:27:40 because they're not programmed into your RIS. They're not programmed like the Tesla is. How do you program? I teach you in the book, but I'll give you one thing. Repeated hyper visualizations of your dreams and your imagination and what you want. I have a chapter in the book where I say, become an impossibility thinker and a possibility achiever. And here's the deal. In your life, you operate out of either two frames of thinking. 99% of the people operate once they're an adult out of history and memory. They operate out of it. They have patterns of thoughts, frames of thinking. 99% of the people operate once they're an adult out of history and memory. They operate out of it. They have patterns of thoughts, patterns of behaviors, they operate out
Starting point is 00:28:09 of this, and they reinforce it with different people, different circumstances, same life. One percent of the people operate out of imagination and dream. That's what they did when they were a child. The reason you were happier when you were a little girl or a little boy, one, you were closer to God, because you would just left there, two, you had no history and memory to operate out of, you operate out of imagination. So to flip that in your life, you start imagining and dreaming. When you have a thought, an actual thought, it creates a space in your world that did not exist prior to that thought being created. And now your mind goes to work on filling it up with references and proof.
Starting point is 00:28:43 So if you worry about your anxieties, your fears, your worries, your past, you constantly find the testless that reinforced that. If you created a thought that's about the future and an imagination and a dream, and you go touch it once in a while, and you repeatedly visualize it over and over again, very simple I teach you to do it in the book,
Starting point is 00:29:00 you're doing it anyway. You're repeatedly visualizing and thinking about what you're worried about, what you fear all the time. I'm just flipping it into imagination. Then you'll begin to see those testless of your life, the meetings, the people, the places, the things. And by the way, you're one podcast away, one decision away, one meeting, one relationship away from changing your life. That's the power of one more also. Yeah. And so with the rest, you could actually program it in a bad way. You could be thinking about bad things, saying bad things about yourself, and then you perceive the world with all these bad things that you don't want.
Starting point is 00:29:33 So can you talk to us about how to make sure that we program it in the right way? Programming in the right way is repeated thoughts, visualizations, it's associating with people that also repeated thoughts, visualizations, it's associating with people that also can reinforce those beliefs and thoughts. If you wanna know how powerful our AAS is, let's go back to the drug addict or alcoholic example. You will find a way to get what you're obsessed with in your life.
Starting point is 00:29:55 So if you're obsessed with your worries and your fears, you'll find a way to get them. You get them every week, you get them. No matter how good life is, you'll get that depression, you'll get that anxiety, you'll get that anger, you'll get that worry, because it's familiar. Caroline Leif has a really interesting thing where she, she talks about like a lot of times that our emotions aren't good or bad, they just are. And so whatever they are, you're going to get them. That drug addict though,
Starting point is 00:30:15 think about this from it. Isn't it incredible? Think of someone you know maybe that's how to drug problem. They could literally be living on the street. No resources, no job, no money, no nothing. Somehow, every day, they find a way to get those drugs, don't they? How do they, maybe they got to do something illegal? Whatever they got to do, they get those drugs. They get them with no resources, no preparation, no nothing. So, what if those drugs became your dreams? The fact that you have no preparation, the fact that you have no resources,
Starting point is 00:30:43 is inconsequential. People prove it every day with the negative stuff in their life, don't they? But you can prove what the positive stuff in your life. And the way you do it is repeatedly visualizing it. The other thing you do is you begin to do one more. In your life, stay with me. I have a chapter on goals, which is great. I show you how to set goals the best way I know how. But at best you're going to get 25% of your goals if they're ambitious. What will you get all the time in your life?
Starting point is 00:31:07 Your standards. You will eventually always get your standards. So goals without standards are empty. That's why I teach the goal chapter and the standards chapter together. Standard, stay with me. You've had someone on your show who stole my content. I guarantee you, because I've been saying this
Starting point is 00:31:21 for 30 years and says, if you wanna build self-confidence, you gotta keep the promises you make to yourself. Yes. Everyone says that now. I'm pretty sure I said it first, but even if I didn't, who cares? And so, if you don't have any self confidence, it's because you have a reputation with yourself of keeping the, you don't keep the promises you make.
Starting point is 00:31:36 You want to build self confidence? Start keeping the promises you make, which is great, but anybody can do that. But what if you changed the standard? What if it was one more? What if I don't just keep the promises I make to myself, but I do one more? So I'm not just gonna keep the promise to work out and do 10 reps in the gym.
Starting point is 00:31:51 I'm gonna do it and do one more. I'm not just gonna do cardio and do 30 minutes. I'm gonna do it and one more minute. I'm not just gonna make 10 contacts and they keep that promise. I'm gonna do the 10 contacts, keep the promise, and my standard is one more. I'm not just gonna tell my daughter, I love her every day and keep that promise to myself, I'm going to do it and then I'm going to do it
Starting point is 00:32:08 one more time every day. Now you're superhuman. Now you've transformed yourself into someone who had no self-confidence, too confidence, too superhuman. And so that's the standard that changes our life and that's how we begin to reprogram our RIS. I love this concept of one more. I have to say, it's a very unique concept. I read self-improvement books all the time, and I love the fact that you're just saying, like, just go a little further, like give it 110%.
Starting point is 00:32:36 Don't just stop at 100, it's not enough. So I love that. We'll be right back after a quick break from our sponsors. Hear that sound, young and profitors? You should know that sound by now, but in case you don't, that's the sound of another sale on Shopify. Shopify is the commerce platform that's revolutionizing millions of businesses worldwide. Whether you sell edgy t-shirts or offer an educational course like me,
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Starting point is 00:33:36 to sell my LinkedIn Secrets Masterclass. Setting up my Shopify store just took me a few days. I didn't have to worry about my website and how I was gonna collect payments and how I was gonna trigger abandoned cart emails and all these things that Shopify does for me was just a click of a button, even setting up my chat bot was just a click of a button. It was so easy to do.
Starting point is 00:33:58 Like I said, just took a couple of days. And so it just allowed me to focus on my actual product and making sure my LinkedIn masterclass was the best it could be and I was able to focus on my marketing. So Shopify really, really helped me make sure that my masterclass was going to be a success right off the bat and enabled focus. And focus is everything when it comes to entrepreneurship. With Shopify single dashboard, I can manage my orders and my payments from anywhere in the world. And like I said, it's one of my favorite things to do every day is check my Shopify dashboard. It is a rush of dopamine to see all those blinking lights around the world, showing me where everybody is logging on on the site.
Starting point is 00:34:37 I love it. I highly recommend it. Shopify is a platform that I use every single day and it can take your business to the next level. Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at Shopify.com-profiting. Again, go to Shopify.com-profiting, all lowercase, to take your business to the next level today. Again, that Shopify.com-profiting, Shopify.com-profiting, all lowercase. This is Possibility powered by Shopify. Yeah, bam. If you're ready to take your business to new heights, break through to the six or seven
Starting point is 00:35:08 figure mark or learn from the world's most successful people, look no further because the Kelly Roach show has got you covered. Kelly Roach is a best-selling author, a top-ranked podcast host, and an extremely talented marketer. She's the owner of NotOne, but six thriving companies, and now she's ready to share her knowledge and experience with you on the Kelly Roach show. Kelly is an inspirational entrepreneur, and I highly respect her. She's been a guest on YAP. She was a former social client. She's a podcast client. And I remember when she came on Young and Profiting and she talked about her conviction marketing framework, it was like mind blowing to me. I remember immediately implementing what she taught me in the interview
Starting point is 00:35:48 in my company and the marketing efforts that we were doing. And as a marketer, I really, really respect all Kelly has done, all Kelly has built. In the corporate world, Kelly secured seven promotions in just eight years, but she didn't just stop there. She was working in nine to five. And at the same time, she built her eight figure company as a side hustle and eventually took it and made her full-time hustle and her strategic business goals led her to win the prestigious Inc. 500 award for
Starting point is 00:36:14 the fastest growing business in the United States. She's built an empire, she's earned a life-changing wealth. And on top of all that, she maintains a happy marriage and healthy home life. On the Kelly Road show, you'll learn that it's possible to have it all. Tune into the Kelly Road Show as she unveils her secrets for growing your business. It doesn't matter if you're just starting out in your career or if you're already a seasoned entrepreneur. In each episode, Kelly shares the truth about what it takes to create rapid, exponential growth.
Starting point is 00:36:41 Unlock your potential, unleash your success, and start living your dream life today. Tune into the Kelly Road Show, available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Hey, ya fam! As you may know, I've been a full-time entrepreneur for three years now. Yet media blew up so fast,
Starting point is 00:36:58 it was really hard to keep everything under control, but things have settled a bit, and I'm really focused on revamping and improving our company culture. I have 16 employees, so it's a lot of people to try to rally and motivate, and I recently had best-selling author Kim Scott on the show. And after previewing her content in our conversation, I just knew I had to take her class on master class, tackle the hard conversations with radical candor to really absorb all she has to offer. And now I'm using her Radical Cander method every day with my team to give
Starting point is 00:37:30 and solicit feedback, to cultivate a more inclusive culture, and to empower them with my honesty. And I can see my team feeling more motivated and energized already. They are really receptive to this framework, and I'm so happy because I really needed this class. With masterclass, you can learn from the best to become your best anytime, anywhere, and at your own pace. And we all know that profiting in life doesn't just mean thriving in business. With masterclass, you can brush up on your art skills or your cooking skills or even your modeling skills.
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Starting point is 00:39:05 off when you go to masterclass.com-profiting. That's masterclass.com-profiting for 15% off an annual membership. Masterclass.com-profiting. So, let's talk about identity. I think that's the next good point to kind of discuss. Let's talk about how you define identity and how our identity is shaped in childhood. Well, it's installed in us. So our parents install our loving parents, even if they're loving, they install some of their limiting beliefs
Starting point is 00:39:36 into us when we're defenseless, when we're kids. We don't know. My dad, God bless them. I love my father very much. He was a great man, but he would have this thing. He would always say to me, you'll get a kick out of this. He'd say, be careful. Since I was a little boy, hey, daddy, I'm going to look. Hey, have a great game. Be careful. I don't think he knew why I was saying it. I'm 50 years old last year.
Starting point is 00:39:54 What are you going to do? I go, I'm taking Maxi age games. I have a great time. Be careful. What am I being careful for? Right? I got a speech in front of 30,000. He goes, crush the speech.
Starting point is 00:40:03 Be careful. Like, he just, that's a figure of speech, right? But it's reflective of something inside him and my dad was not a risk taker. My dad always wondered who's out. And so I got older and I grew up like, I got to be careful. What are they going to do to me? I maybe I don't want to make a mistake. What are people going to think about me? I don't want to blow this business deal. I don't, I'd worry. Why am I a warrior? Because I'm always been told to be careful. He didn't even mean it, but am I a warrior? Some always been told to be careful. He didn't even mean it, but he said it. And so that became part of my identity. Your identity is
Starting point is 00:40:30 yourself worth. It's the thoughts, beliefs and concepts that you hold to be the most true about you. Here's the best analogy I give on it. Your identity is the thermostat setting of your life. So in this room, it said it 75 degrees. It's actually not. It's actually said it's 70 today. So we'll use 70. It's at 70 degrees. Outside, I live at the beach. It's about 85 degrees right now. The external conditions have nothing to do with this thermostat because when it's 85 outside, the air conditioner kicks on and regulates the room to 70. That's your life. I'm going to explain your life to you now, everyone. So if you stay at a 70 degree identity, let's just say there's different ones, faith, fitness, fun, bliss, peace, money. Let's just use success, money. Let's just say, you have a 70 degree internal thermostat worth of money. And you start learning all these
Starting point is 00:41:16 skills on the podcast and in your business. And now you're at 80, man, you're cranking, you're making 150 grand to 95 degrees of money. Eventually, when those results exceed your identity, you will unconsciously turn the air conditioner on of your life. Uh-oh, everyone's like, holy shit, he's right. And you will eventually over time cool it back down to exactly what that thermostat setting is, no matter what. And it'll seem coincidentally like, no, no, no, crypto dropped. The stock market went the wrong way.
Starting point is 00:41:42 Interest rates went to supply chain. I had to loan my friends some money. My car broke down. My mom needed help. Bologna, you turned the air conditioner on of your life and you got it back. You see it in fitness. Someone's a 70 degree fitness person.
Starting point is 00:41:55 They got 20 pounds too much weight. They lose the weight. You see him a year later, they put it back on air conditioner, kick back on. So the key thing is as you're accumulating skills is to adjust your identity. And in the chat in the book, I teach a trilogy of identity. I'll just give you what it is without teaching it. Faith, if you're a person of faith, it's amazing to me how someone will go to church
Starting point is 00:42:14 on Sunday and worship God. I'm a Christian, but whatever your faith is or their mosque or their synagogue, or maybe they'll go to Bible study. God's with them then, but when they walk into a sales call, they're alone. When they walk into a business meeting, they're alone, bring your faith with you into your business life. Two, intentions, give yourself more credit for your intentions in your life. You're in tend to serve you intended before we did the show today. I turned my camera off real quick. I said, just give me a second and I just went, Lord, just please bless me today.
Starting point is 00:42:40 Let me make say the right words on the show. And then I remind myself, I intend to help people today. I may not have every answer, but my intentions are good. My identity comes from that, and then the third part of the trilogy is associations. If you're around 150 degrees, and you're a 70 degree, they will heat you up by proximity over time. And the closer you get to them, the more they can heat you up. And so, faith, intention, association.
Starting point is 00:43:02 Yes, I love that. I want to dig deep on some of these. So let's talk about intention. So a lot of people we are talking about before. Sometimes we have negative self-talk. And we truly believe we don't deserve what we want. Like we might want to be a doctor, but like deep down inside we don't feel like
Starting point is 00:43:20 we're worth it to be a doctor. Can you talk about how we need to understand that our intention matters of wanting that goal because if we never really accept that we can achieve it, we'll never get it. I was 28 years old and I want to trip to Hawaii for my financial business. And luckily I get up before the sun does
Starting point is 00:43:38 and back in those days, I'm 100 years old. So no one used to work out that was in the business where there was like people in the gym and they were all like in construction or blue collar. White collar people never worked out. I was one of the first ones, you know, and I'm like, so I got up to run. Sun's not up yet.
Starting point is 00:43:52 There's this guy running towards me on the beach. Bald guy Harry back sweat and I'm like, whoa. And he gets closer to me and it's a man named Wayne Dyer. And Wayne Dyer is one of the all-time most beautiful thought leaders, influencers before there were influencers of all time. And it was a hero of mine. Like there was Tony Robbins and Wayne Dyer and God's good that he brought both of them into my life as friends.
Starting point is 00:44:15 So that morning he runs by and I go, wait, Dr. Dyer, I had a Walkman, Sony Walkman on. So, and I go, Dr. Dyer, you changed my life. And he had a deep voice like me. He turns around, he pulls his walkman off, he goes, well, I doubt that. You probably changed your life, but how did I help? And he walks towards me and we sit down on the beach and for the next 90 minutes, I watch the sun come up
Starting point is 00:44:35 and I talk with one of the greatest thought leaders in the world. And in that conversation, he said, Ed, you're gonna change the world. I'm sure he said that to other people, right? But at the time, I was like, really? And he said, you're brilliant. The way you think about the mind and life and business, my gosh. And he goes, and that's not why. And he goes, and if you begin to attach your confidence and
Starting point is 00:44:53 worth it to your abilities and your achievements, you're in big trouble. And I went, what? I thought you were supposed to do that. He goes, Ed, you'll always be chasing it. And when you have a setback or you have a, it's gonna cascade down on you. I go, then what should I attach my worth to? He said, you're gonna change the world, because your heart's so beautiful. Your intentions are amazing. Focus on your intentions, all your life.
Starting point is 00:45:15 You intend to make a difference. You intend to get there. He goes, you know, there's nothing wrong I was walking into a meeting going, I don't know, but I'll find out. There's nothing wrong with saying, I've changed my mind. There's nothing wrong with saying, I was wrong. And he said, you have beautiful intentions. And it was something
Starting point is 00:45:27 I knew, by the way, everyone listening to this thing, know about themselves and went, well, I never believe my abilities were great. Anybody ever told me, I'm like, yeah, but, you know, or you're being nice. But when someone says, you intend to help, you intend to do good. I'm like, you got me there. You're right, I do. And so for the rest of my life so far, I've attached my worth, my identity to my intention to what I walked into that orphanage was I the most skilled psychologist or dad in the world? No, my intentions were to love those boys. My intentions were to show up for them every day and make a difference in their life.
Starting point is 00:46:03 And I showed up damn big, I showed up strong. I've showed up to a lot of business meetings, not the most smart guy in the room, but I showed up intending to help people. And I've shown up big. So this thing of linking to your intentions will change your life. Yeah, I think this is just so powerful, like not being worried about where you are now in the present and realizing that your potential is your intentions to improve in your life. And that is huge. So one other thing that I learned about you when I was studying you is how loyal you are. Like, you're really loyal. You've been with the same woman since you were in grade school, which for me, I as like as a woman, I'm like, oh wow, this is like a good man. I would love to understand like, how do you design your social circle in terms of the associations you make in your life? Because clearly, you've kept some people around for a long time.
Starting point is 00:46:47 You didn't just go try to find a new circle. There's a lot of people that you've kept around. So how do you design your social circle? That whole thing like drop certain people. I've had to drop a few, but not that many. What I have done with people that don't serve me any longer is I've reduced my proximity to them. I don't see them as much. But for them to be banished
Starting point is 00:47:05 from my life, I've not done a lot of that. I add new people. And so what I try to do when I add new people is I want people that love me, but I actually look for a criteria in people that do they support my values. And so like I don't like when I go to Vegas a couple times a year with a group of men, all of them are amazing husbands, a couple of them are pastors of churches, like that isn't hurt, but like, I don't wanna be around dudes who don't live that part of their life correctly
Starting point is 00:47:34 because it might rub off on me. I'm not perfect, so I wanna rub off on me. If someone is done keep their word or isn't meticulous in telling the truth, we all have that friend who's like, he is such a bullshitter, right? You have that friend? They're not gonna be around me that much. truth. We all have that forever. Like he is such a bullshitter, right? You have that friend. They're not gonna be around me that much.
Starting point is 00:47:47 Yeah. I want people that believe in me. And here's the biggie. I have a lot of people. I have a lot of funny friends. You see them on my social media. Like I have people that really make you laugh. I love people that make me laugh.
Starting point is 00:47:56 And I'm an introvert. So I like to be around extroverted people so I can just be a fly on the wall. And so, but a big one is that I want people who don't accept me as I am. And most people are looking for friends who accept them as they are. I'm not looking for that. I'm not looking for acceptance.
Starting point is 00:48:09 I'm looking for people that believe in me so much that they think I could even be better than I am. And they hold me to that standard. There's that standard word again. That when I'm around them, here's a biggie. Wow, are you going to be shocked when you listen to this one, everyone? If more than 5% of our friends conversations are about remember when, remember, you remember, George Lopez has this great skin on it.
Starting point is 00:48:31 What do you do when you get a lot of your friends? Reminisce, which is cool a little bit, 5% of the time, but that means you're operating out of that history and memory. Most of my friends, we do a little, I mean very little of the remember, but we do a lot of imagining. We do a the remember, but we do a lot of imagining. We do a lot of dreaming. We do a lot of, here's where I'm going man, here's what I'm thinking. Here's what we could do.
Starting point is 00:48:51 Let's do this next. We operate in the present, but we talk about the future a lot, not the past. I don't want a lot of friends to talk about the past. I can do that anytime I want. That ain't where I'm at right now. Yeah, that's huge. I love that advice. Okay, let's talk about the difference
Starting point is 00:49:05 between self-confidence and identity. I think this is another big concept in your book. Talk to us about what we need to understand when it comes to self-confidence and how it differs from identity. Well, self-confidence is that relationship. It's a reputation that you have with yourself. Identity is who you believe you are.
Starting point is 00:49:24 And so they're connected. they're like identical twin sisters, but they're not exactly the same. Self-confidence is a relationship and reputation with yourself. That's what it is. And for me, there's another side of self-confidence that most people don't talk about, which is humility. I want friends that have tremendous humility, along with their self-confidence, because humility keeps you curious, it keeps you growing. Only a super self-confident, truly self-confident person
Starting point is 00:49:50 can be humble, because they're comfortable with themselves enough to say, I could get better. It takes strength to say I could get better. It takes strength to have humility. And so I look for that, and I hope I have that. Identity is actually who you believe you are and what you believe you are worth. And that's a whole different animal altogether.
Starting point is 00:50:09 And so although I want you to have a ton of self-confidence, you could be the most confident thing in the world, but what if you've placed your confidence in an identity about yourself that's way less than true? So I'm very confident in who I am. I mean, we meet these people, that's just who I am. And they're really confident about it.
Starting point is 00:50:23 It's just who I am, man. It's just who I, they're I am. And they're really confident about it. It's just who I am, man. It's just who I, they're really confident. So they got to tell us self-confidence. They're just wrong or limited themselves in their identity. On so although I really believe working on your confidence is not that difficult to do and you should do, the real hard work in life is to change that identity. Because that identity, you started developing that thing
Starting point is 00:50:44 when you were a little girl and you fed it over time. And so that identity is this thing you're never going to escape. It's that thermostat setting of your life. And for me, it's, look, if I'm really the child of a loving God, if you really believe that, how am I not amazing? How am I not been born to do something great with my life? So if you have a faith, attach it to your identity.
Starting point is 00:51:04 I'm your brother, because we're the same blood's running through both of us, but I'm a child of an awesome God. So there's that, my intentions, man, I really wanna make a difference in the world. I really wanna help people. I'm looking at the ocean right now. I could actually just have my butt on that beach right now
Starting point is 00:51:20 every single day if I wanted to, but that's not what my intentions lie. My intentions lie that someone's listening to this right now. It's gonna change their life. You're gonna grab my book. It's gonna change their freaking life. So my intentions are good. And then third, I'm around people all the time who believe in me, who challenge me, who push me,
Starting point is 00:51:37 who were further down there. This is great Chinese proverb that says, if you wanna know the road ahead, ask those coming back. Mm-hmm. And so I try to have some friends in my life that are older than me that have already been down the road I'm going. And I can ask them for directions. And so for me, for most of you, I could be that person.
Starting point is 00:51:53 Mine is people you know really, really well who run big, big companies and are well-known people. But only reason is that because they're well known is they've been down the road and they're coming back. And so I want to know the road ahead. And so that's who you should have in your life is someone like that And by the way not all your associations have to be in person. They could be a book when I read a book I pretend I'm living with Napoleon Hill that week. I'm living with Ed Mylett
Starting point is 00:52:16 He's speaking to me these words were written for me. He's talking to me I've spent the week with Wayne Dyer many times when I wasn't with him before I met him I felt like when I met him I I knew him. When people meet me, my biggest compliment to me is they feel like they know me. And that means they've really studied me. They've really been in my life. And hopefully when I make up Instagram poster, I have a podcast or a YouTube video where I write a book, they're like, you're talking to me. And that's association as well is stuff like this. Yeah, 100%. I have to say that I feel like, especially if you're just starting out, if
Starting point is 00:52:47 you just read and keep leveling up and leveling up and leveling up, eventually you're going to meet your mentors that you're reading, just like what you're saying. I've been listening to Ed Mylett for years. Now, I'm interviewing him, you know, because I leveled myself up to be able to have the opportunity to do something like that. And part of that is learning and studying and doing things on your own. And sometimes your mentors are people you don't really get to talk to to your point.
Starting point is 00:53:09 So I love that. OK, so one last thing before we wrap up, and that's your concept of blissful dissatisfaction. I feel like this is a really important point that I want my listeners to understand because you say there's two great motivators. There's wanting something and trying to get that thing. And then there's also avoiding pain.
Starting point is 00:53:29 So talk to us about why we need both, and then we can close things up. You can get both levers. So what do the doctors do that day? The pain of me dying and missing my daughter's wedding and also the pleasure of being there. So those are the two big drivers in our life. But what most of us do,
Starting point is 00:53:42 I believe in the concept of blissful dissatisfaction. Here's what most people do. They conflate and confuse two things. Satisfaction is not happiness. You can actually be happy and still dissatisfied. You can do both. Satisfaction happiness aren't the same thing. So I've learned to live blissfully
Starting point is 00:53:58 and still be dissatisfied. Disatisfaction means I'm capable of more. I'm not there yet. I'm dissatisfied. I'm gonna go get it. But most people conflate those things. So people think to themselves, I'm not there yet, I'm dissatisfied, I'm gonna go get it. But most people can flake those things. So people think to themselves, well, like achievers, they're big on this.
Starting point is 00:54:10 Man, I'll enjoy it when I'll give myself bliss when, I gotta stay perpetually unhappy and dissatisfied because they think it's the same thing. So when I get to a million bucks in the bank, then I'll enjoy myself, then I'll give myself bliss. When I get the dream relationship, then I'll be blissful. When my podcast is number one, then I'll be bliss bliss. When I get the dream relationship, then I'll be blissful. When my podcast is number one, then I'll be blissful. When I'm this or that, then I'll be blissful.
Starting point is 00:54:29 When I get to a million followers, then I'll be blissful. And they delay their bliss until a destination in the future. The problem is the finish line keeps moving. And eventually, if you don't give yourself bliss for what you're doing, you burn out. Because your brain doesn't get any dopamine for its success, and it eventually goes, it concludes, I don't want to do this anymore. You've talked enough about neuroplasticity and understanding the neurology of the brain that if you don't get dopamine for doing something over and over and over again, you stop. Then there's the other people.
Starting point is 00:54:55 They think, well, if I lose this pain I'm in, then I'll lose my drive and ambition. Neither is true. You ever bite into it like a steak you love or any food you love? That first steak's blissful. You give yourself a total dose of bliss. Does it make you want to take another bite or no? Of course it does. So that I'm not a bliss you get in celebrating your wins and your success actually gets you to do more of that very thing, not less of that very thing. And so I've learned to live blissfully happy and still be dissatisfied. In fact, I think I'm a pretty good example of that. Like, I'm a pretty darn happy blissful
Starting point is 00:55:28 person, but I'm not satisfied. I got more to do, more people to help, more things to achieve, more memories I want to create. So I've learned to live in bliss. You don't have to live in misery as you're chasing your dream. You don't have to be miserable and angry and down and delay bliss to get there. In fact, take it from me because I used to do that. And here's what I figured out. I was winning in spite of that flawed belief system, not because of it. And what I figured out is the more I celebrate, the more I enjoy, the more I give myself dopamine
Starting point is 00:55:58 hits, the bigger I get, the more I expand, the more I grow. And so learn to be in bliss and dissatisfied at the same time. I love that. Okay, so we asked the same last two questions to all of our guests, and then we do some fun stuff at the end of the year. So the first one is what is one actionable thing that my young and profitors can do today to become more profitable tomorrow?
Starting point is 00:56:21 Do the inconvenient thing. I have a chapter in the book called One More Inconvenience. It's changing relationship with pain. Begin to willing to do hard and difficult things. When you look at your given day or your week, do the inconvenient thing, not the convenient thing. Everyone does the convenient thing. Do the inconvenient, most difficult thing you could possibly do because that's the thing
Starting point is 00:56:40 that produces the biggest results. And what is your secret to profiting in life? It's the service of other people. I want to help someone else. the thing that produces the biggest results. And what is your secret to profiting in life? It's the service of other people. I want to help someone else. So my secret of profiting is that I solve people's problems. My business is solve a problem.
Starting point is 00:56:52 And so if you can find a problem and you can solve it, you're going to win. By the way, you don't have to always create a new industry, either. Sometimes it's getting into an industry that already exists and just doing it better than what the competition does. And in a lot of businesses nowadays, small is better. Nimble is better.
Starting point is 00:57:08 You can move quicker, you can pivot, you can adjust, you can course correct, much faster and much better and much more boldly with better customer service, better culture, than a big company because they have taken longer to move and make decisions. I love that. And where can our listeners go find more about you and everything that you do? You can go get the power of one more anywhere books are sold. You can go to the power of one more dot com and you can get a bunch of tools that will enhance the book. You can go to Ed Mylet and my last name is M Y L E T T and you can go anywhere. Social Instagram probably my biggest platform social is Instagram, but I'm on LinkedIn. I'm on everywhere, but Instagram, I've got a very, you know, pretty successful podcast
Starting point is 00:57:48 that I do a serious now, but you can listen to it on iTunes and Spotify and Stitcher anywhere you can get a podcast Apple. And I got a YouTube channel as well. So anything with my name on it just type my name and you'll find me. And we're going to stick all those links in the show notes. Ed, this was such an amazing conversation. Thank you so much for your time. I really enjoyed it. I enjoyed it. so thank you so much. God bless you.
Starting point is 00:58:22 Are you looking for ways to be happier, healthier, more productive and more creative? I'm Gretchen Ruben, the number one best-selling author of the Happiness Project. And every week, we share ideas and practical solutions on the Happier with Gretchen Ruben podcast. My co-host and Happiness Guinea Pig is my sister Elizabeth Kraft. That's me, Elizabeth Kraft, a TV writer and producer in Hollywood. Join us as we explore fresh insights from cutting-edge science, ancient wisdom, pop culture, and our own experiences about cultivating happiness and good habits.
Starting point is 00:58:53 Every week we offer a try this at home tip you can use to boost your happiness without spending a lot of time energy or money. Suggestions such as follow the one-minute rule. Choose a one-word theme for the year or design your summer. We also feature segments like know yourself better where we discuss questions like are you an over buyer or an under buyer? Morning person or night person, abundance lever or simplicity lever, and every episode includes a happiness hack, a quick easy shortcut to more happiness. Listen and follow the podcast happier with Gretchen Rubin. You got to keep your eye on the ball. Just like you can keep an eye on your customized down and monthly car payments. I can customize those. He's out!
Starting point is 00:59:46 And on his way to finance his next car with Carvana. Visit Carvana.com or download the app to get pre-qualified today. We'll drive you happy. At Carvana.

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