Young and Profiting with Hala Taha - YAPLive: Hacking Human Behavior on Clubhouse with Mark Bowden, Chase Hughes, Blanca Cobb and Amilya Antonetti | Uncut Version

Episode Date: February 18, 2021

Strengthen interpersonal skills and better understand your own thinking & those around you! 🎤💰 Join Hala & top experts on human behavior and body language: Mark Bowden, Chase Hughes, Blanca Cobb and Amilya Antonetti! 🤓🔥 Looking to hack human behavior to better understand motivations, intentions and actions? Look no further than this week’s new YAP episode, recorded live on Clubhouse! Hala is joined by some of the biggest experts on human behavior including: Chase Hughes, Founder of Applied Behavior Research, Mark Bowden, #1 body language expert, Blanca Cobb, TV personality and body language and deception trainer, and Amiliya Antonetti, one of the most sought after human behaviorists and conflict resolution experts in the world.  Topics covered include uncovering the complexities of human behavior, the art of people-reading, how to gain influence and persuasion, networking to succeed, authority and trust.  Check out this episode to unlock the secrets of human behavior and walk away knowing how to better understand yourself and those around you!   Follow YAP on IG: www.instagram.com/youngandprofiting Reach out to Hala directly at [e-mail] Follow Hala on Linkedin: www.linkedin.com/in/htaha/ Follow Hala on Instagram: www.instagram.com/yapwithhala Follow Hala on ClubHouse: @halataha Check out our website to meet the team, view show notes and transcripts: www.youngandprofiting.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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and Participating Source. Taxes and other fee still apply. You're listening to YAP, Young and Profiting Podcast. A place where you can listen, learn, and profit. Welcome to the show. I'm your host, Halla Taha, and on Young and Profiting Podcast, we investigate a new topic each week and interview some of the brightest minds in the world. My goal is to turn their wisdom into actionable advice that you can use in your everyday life, no matter

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hit the subscribe button, because you'll love it here at Young and Profiting Podcast. All right, welcome to Yap Live, everyone. I'm Halataha, the host of Young and Profiting Podcast. We are recording this session for my podcast, which is gonna reach over 25,000 people. So I hope everybody is excited for that today. Today we're focusing on human behavior.

We're going to talk about how to gain influence, how to become more authoritative, how to improve our body language, to make better first impressions, and things like that. So we have lots of things to discuss, and we have some amazing people here on the panel. So joining me today, we have, and I'll just give you guys your introductions, and then we can do a round robin after that.

We have Chase Hughes, Chase served in the US military for 20 years. He became a behavior science expert for intelligence work, and now he works in the world of business. He teaches groundbreaking behavioral science skills, such as advanced persuasion, behavioral investigation, profiling, and nonverbal analysis. He's also the author of the ellipsis manual, and that is known as the new Bible for mind, control, and persuasion.

Chase, welcome to the stage. I've also interviewed him on my podcast, and it was one of the highest downloaded episodes, so I'm sure a lot of my listeners are super excited to hear from Chase. And we also have Mark Bowden. Mark Bowden is a body language and human behavior expert. He was voted the number one body language professional

in the world for two years running. His nonverbal techniques for influence and persuasion have been described as a secret weapon for G7 leaders, including Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper. And I believe he's also worked with former Vice President Mike Pence. Blanca Cobb is also on the panel. She is the Body Shark Authority. She's a TV personality. She trains people in body language and deception, detecting. And she gives them an edge in their personal and business life.

She's been featured on CNN. The Today Show, the Steve Harvey show, Dr. Drew and the Dr. Oz show to name a few. So we've got some extremely talented experts. Welcome to the stage, guys. So happy to have you here. It's great to be here. Thanks for having me, Hala. It's Mark. Awesome. And so we're going to have a Q&A section as well for this session. And I'll be playing that by ear, probably somewhere in the middle of the session and at the end as well.

So if you guys have a question, just raise your hand so that I have that on deck and I can just quickly add you to the stage. And we're going to get started. Okay, so first we're going to do a popcorn round robin' around the room. I want to know why you all first got interested in human behavior. Where did this passion and fascination come from? Blanca, let's start with you and then we'll do a round robin. Okay, I'm having trouble hearing Blanca and Chase mark.

Do you want to go? It seems like I can only hear you, which is strange. That means that Blanca and Chase, I think there's something wrong with your audio. Go ahead, Mark. Okay, well, while Chase and Blanca are working out, you know what I noticed? Jason Blanker, if you hear this, if you quietly leave and then come back in again, sometimes these things start to work a little better. But, Hala, here's how I got into this area, is as kid,

I was kind of obsessed with movement and animal life in Britain, where I was living there were lots of really great shows about animal behavior and so I got super interest personally in animal behavior and then I was a bit older as a kid I got interested in human behavior and then you know why did people do the things that they do and how you might be able to have some influence and some control not maybe of them but over the itself how you reacted be able to have some influence and some control, not maybe of them, but over the itself, how you reacted to things.

So I got really obsessed with human movement, body language, and then behavior, and then the psychology of all of that. And at the time, I just kind of read more than anybody else and watch more than anybody else, and then started forming my own ideas around it. And that's how I got started in there. That's amazing, that's amazing. And I see another one of our moderators has just entered the room.

I want to quickly introduce her and hopefully Chase and Blanca's audio issues are resolved. So Amelia and Tinelli just joined the stage. She's one of the most sought after human behaviors and conflict resolution experts in the world. She's helped companies innovate, manage turnarounds, and set strategies for some of the most high profile clients and music, sports and entertainment,

like Mike Tyson and Steve Harvey. So Amelia, welcome to the stage. Thank you so much for having me. And Mark, I'm a huge fan. I know you work very well and you are brilliant. Awesome. Thank you. Thank you for being a really appreciated.

A really good. Awesome. Chase, Vanka, do you for saying that. I really appreciate that. A really good. Awesome. Chase, Vanka, do you want to tell us how you first got into human behavior? All right. Well, I got fascinated with behavior as a kid. And that was probably 19 years old. I was in the military and I'm 40 now. But I was stationed out in Hawaii.

I got turned down by a young lady one night and literally went home and typed, how to tell when girls like you into Google. And it wasn't just a couple of years after that. Just kind of obsessing over understanding nonverbal communication. I started working in intelligence and it was probably 10 years later, I started training intelligence officers

and running intelligence operations and this stuff became pretty handy. And to this day I'm a retired from the government but now I still teach our intelligence agencies and intelligence operatives from a few countries. That's amazing. And for those of you who just joined, Chase has been on my podcast before and it was actually one of the most downloaded episodes till this day, even though I interviewed him

about two years ago, people loved hearing Chase. So I can't wait to hear all the value you're gonna share today. Amelia Blanca, how did you get started in this space? Amelia, let's start with you and then we'll go to Blanca. So for me it was aptly at a necessity. So I started my journey, I'm at this serial entrepreneur, so I was CEO, running a company

about 43,000 employees and competing against the likes of the big boy, Park and Gamble Dial Corp, that was year-in-a-half, I was at it's time. And I knew that I wasn't going to be able to pay some of the big salaries and big bells and whistles as my competition. And so I was starting to journey to say, you know, how can I better serve my employees? Like, what can I do for them that would enhance their lifestyles or wants or needs? That is different than what I was seeing around me. Because when I started my first company, you know, I was, it was worse, it was rare

because there's not that many female at the time that was running $100 million company, so that made me an odd duck. And when I was really trying to say, okay, how do I better serve my people by asking them what they were doing when they were not at work, so I could start helping them list that load. I started to realize that a lot of the stuff that was holding them back from things that they wanted to do were all behavioral. So I first brought in a lot of people who were in the space to better understand it.

So we had the haveris on staff, we started bringing in school, and other things that really helped kind of unlock some of the myths beliefs between the relationship between a company and one's personal life. Because again, way back then, people were still thinking that you had a life and then you had your business life versus you have one life that's working in synergy towards your purpose and your goal. And so that's what really brought me into the space was really to serve the people around me. I love that. And Blanca, why did you get involved in this space? I got involved when I was a little girl, but I had no idea what I was doing. So in a long story short,

I didn't have a very happy childhood. I was physically abused amongst the other things. So when I was little, I was always trying to figure out like when the next, I guess, beating would happen. So I would be listening to changes of voice or looking at body language, see what's happening with the hands. I mean, even it got down to where I would listen to footsteps coming down the hall. And again, I had no idea what I was doing as a little girl.

It wasn't until I was an adult and I was reflecting back on my life. And then as you might imagine, I really didn't know as to people as I was growing up. And so just took me on this journey of where I just really started watching people and trying to figure out who was friendly and who was personable and who could be somebody

that I could trust. And then when I got into college, I knew I wanted to go into the helping profession and I got it ended up with a massive psychology and I just blended the two together. Awesome. Okay, so we're going to get the actionable advice piece of this podcast rolling. For those of you who newly joined, I'm Halataha, the host of Young and Profiting Podcasts

for the number one trending education podcast across all apps. This session is going to be recorded and then replayed on my podcast. So the first question is for Mark. When I have researched human behavior, something that comes up time and time again, especially when first looking into the topic is our reptilian brain. And so I wanna understand and want everybody listening today

to understand what our reptilian brain is and why do we need to dampen its influence? Yeah, great question. Okay, so the reptilian brain, look, the reptilian brain is a metaphor. You don't actually have a reptilian brain, it's an idea that we've come up with to help you understand the processing that your mind often does. So we often say that you have kind of three black brains or what we call the trium brain system, which is you've got

this very old reptilian brain. It's about 500 million years old. It's the thing that looks after your safety, looks after your temperature. It tells you when you're hungry. It has some of those sexual urges as well. And it's coding system. Again, that's a bit of a metaphor. Your brain isn't a computer.

It's not anything like a computer really, but its coding system goes right back to the earliest reptiles, the dinosaurs essentially. Now on top of that you've got what we call the paleo mammalian brain, it's the social brain that you have and it learns the rituals, the customs, the goals, the signals of your community. It gets taught by your primary caregivers, the people around you that have resource. And it tries to mimic those primary caregivers, those important people in your life that have resource. So you will fit in to a society. And on top of that, you have something called the Neo-Cortex, the new brain.

And that, you can teach that one yourself. It's able to read books and learn new behaviors and new ideas. So you've got this new brain, which you're really in charge of. You've got this social mammalian brain, which is kind of programmed a little bit for you by your society and the society you want to fit into. And then there's this instinctual reptilian brain which you've got really no control over at all and in the behavior that it's going to put out. And a lot of body language, a lot of behavior that often we will observe, especially when people are under stress and pressure,

that comes from the primitive brain, that reptilian brain. So I hope that answers your question there, fella. It does, and for any moderators on this stage, how can we better control our reptilian brain, or do we just not have control over it at all? Well, no, you can't control it, but you can countermeasure it. I mean, well, you can control it. You'd have to get some kind of sharp object and kind of poke around in it, and you probably kill yourself so you don't want to do that. Well, there's some drugs that you can take, but they'll stop you breathing as well.

So, any control that you try and have over your primitive brain will most likely kill you at the same time. All you can do is countermeasure it and you have to countermeasure it with your neocortex. You have to understand when your reptilian brain is taking over your life and you've got to recognize that and bring in countermeasure. So look, as a moderator there, you might find yourself getting anxious or worried, like if you don't hear any sound, it's certainly I truck out. Anxiety or worry might come over and your breathing rate would change and your heart rate

would change. Well, one of the things that you could start to do is control your breathing around that and just breathe in a way that you might think is calm and assertive rather than panicked and out of control. You could actually start to move your body in a way which is more calm and assertive rather than panicked and out of control. And anybody listening to this can do the same thing. It you know scenarios where you get a little more panic and out of control, just know the

behaviors that you do when you're calm and assertive and start to do those behaviors on purpose. That's the way to countermeasure that primitive brain and to some extent certainly control the behaviors that you're putting out. I love that. So basically you're saying if you're feeling anxious start to breathe and do movements that calm you or that you would do in a calm state and it's essentially tricking yourself to feel calm. Yes, exactly that. What you want to do is to kind of look at the behaviors you do

when you're calm and assertive and just reproduce those as much as you can when you're getting that early trigger or some early experience of the behaviors of being panicked out of control, whatever you don't want to be doing. Got it, I go ahead. I can't find my name here. So 100% like Mark said on, right? It's the not trying to disconnect from the primary state, but to have behavioral tools that channels it towards the path that you're going on. So for example, anxiety, right? So Mark's example, but being anxious prior to an event. So, you can't stop that you're feeling it, but what you can do is change your relationship with it. So, instead of anxiety that I'm feeling, I'm finding, I'm feeling excitement, and I'm taking that excitement,

and I'm putting it, courting it toward an opportunity, so that I'm channeling that same energy back inside myself in a positive manner and then looking for the opportunity. So that energy can cause me to move forward into a situation where I would want to repel away from it to move me closer towards that opportunity or goal. So for just example, just for myself, although people see me on TV and they see me on stage, they make the assumption that I'm an extrovert, they make the assumption that I'm not nervous.

Well, none of that is anywhere close to the truth. I am anxious, I do get anxious before I step into a public arena, and I channel that energy into a relationship, I'm feeling feeling excited and that energy is going to allow me to take those first couple of steps to push through that anxiety and or excitement. And then once I get there, I can breeze into that space, give myself that three second pause, neutralizing my energy, and then it allows me to share the content with the audience which I see it as me is trying to serve, so that other people can learn tools, tricks,

all kinds of things to glue them into their life, to get them where they want to be. The fault for me is that, well, I'm gonna wait till I no longer feel this anxiety. I'm gonna wait and how it's gonna magically go away. No, what Mark is saying is it's not going to a way. So the counterbalance is the tool that allow you to still move toward where you're going, wanting to go.

Awesome, awesome. And I can't wait to learn more about all these different tools. All right, so I want to understand the importance of body language in communication because a lot of the times when we talk, we think that's really all communication is. It's our verbal speaking and conversation that we consider communication, but it turns out that body language,

I think, makes up like 70% of our communication. So, Blanca, can you talk to us about the importance of body language and some of the things that we can start to understand better when we do pay attention to body language. Yeah, sure. So, to think what body language is, you really get a sense of people, like how they act. And, you know, we always talk about an IRL word, we always talk about baseline behavior.

So, you understand somebody, how they typically respond, how they typically react. You know, like, when you're having a conversation, if you think about your friend, so you know when your friend's talking something funny or they're going to get upset, you get a sense because you're reading them, you're spending time with them, so you're learning about them. It's no different when you meet somebody. It's a grocery store, the doctor's office. You might start what we call a small cat, right? You just start talking to somebody. And so you get a sense of who they are and how they're going to behave or act. And one of the nice things about body languages is that when there's a change in somebody's behavior,

and they act a little differently than what you're used to, that's your ahamma. But the key is you don't know what's causing it. You have to be careful that you don't automatically make an assumption of why someone's behaving the way that they are. Because what could happen is, as you could misattribute, you might decide that you know what's wrong with that person or why their behavior changes

and you could be completely wrong. And then what happens is you can potentially ruin an otherwise healthy relationship. So communication is really important. Words do matter, but it's also how you convey it. You can say, hi, or you can say, hey, how's it going? Well, hello, very uncertain. So you can use your voice also in inflection and your energy that comes across.

So again, words have meaning, but your body language and your para-language can really either enhance it or take away from your message. Love that, love that, you did a great job. So let's do another popcorn, which basically means that we'll just take turns speaking here and we'll start with Chase this time. I want to know how we can give off very friendly language. So let's pretend we're at a networking event

and COVID doesn't exist or we're at a party and we don't know many people. We're walking into this party and we want to make a good impression. What body language should we give off? What are the things that we should say or do to be more attractive, to be friendly, and to make a good impression at this party? Chase, let's start with you. Yeah, and keep in mind that any social interaction that you will ever participate in

for the rest of your life, the reason that babies are born knowing how to smile and frown, and the reason that if you watch us, people getting the crap scared out of them, compilation on YouTube, that all of the human bodies do the same thing is because language, just the spoken word, is really new for our species as a whole. And we were communicating with each other non-verbally for millions of years, so much so that a lot of this stuff that we use to talk to each other is in our DNA. It's literally written into us, we are born with all that stuff, but we're also born with what Mark discussed earlier, is that mammalian brain, the idea of that. That's the part that's not just capable of sending out all these signals, but you have

to understand that when you get a gut feeling or when you have a feeling about somebody that something was off, that's that part of the brain that's millions of years old that's reading what the other person is sending, but it's not capable of language. So I can't give you a text message. I can't tell you what it saw, but it gives you that gut feeling. And there are some great things we can do to communicate to other people on a body language level. They don't have to know how to read body language because it's so innate in a lot of our interactions. And coming up to anybody, especially at a networking event where everybody's kind of nervous, the moment that we start to like someone is not when we realize they're perfect. We're more likely to like somebody who also exhibits some of these things.

So reading a LinkedIn article about how to control your stress or anxiety is not going to get rid of millions of years of evolution. So we're talking millions of years of evolution versus an article on LinkedIn. Evolution wins. So a lot of the things that we can do is show some gratitude on your body. Like, how would you look right now if you were feeling absolutely grateful

for everything that's going on? Mark has a fantastic TED talk on winning trusted people, especially in these types of situations with something that Mark, I'm sure, we'll talk about called the Truth Point. And I think it's really important to understand the proxemic of conversations, especially at these networking events,

where you don't want to be 180 degrees from the other person, like face-to-face interactions. Just one other small tip would be just to angle your body away just a little bit instead of this direct head on or face-to-face situations. And I would say that the more interesting, not interested, the more interesting, you can make that person feel that better you're gonna do as far as report goes.

Yeah, actually Chase, I have a follow-up question. Why angle our bodies? Like, what's the difference there? I think anybody that's up here on the panel would be able to answer probably more eloquently than I would, but this triggers almost a challenge mechanism in our brain. So that part of our brain that reads novel communication sees a potential threat to be more present and more clear in the situation if we're face to face. And from interrogations to job interviewing skills, even in the intelligence communities,

when we're recruiting an intelligence asset overseas, we teach that angling away this body positions from another person kind of helps them to identify that we're almost looking in the same direction. We have a common goal. We have some common ground here. And in most of these situations, if we're face to face, the person doesn't even know that they're feeling that way. So their gut feeling about you might just boil down to that face to face interaction where we're kind of head on with that person.

So interesting. Mark, what are your best tips for putting a good impression if you go to a network? Perfect. Thank you. So thanks, Chase, for bringing up the proof plane. Let me talk a little bit about that. That's a signal that is made to affect other people's, reptilian, their primitive brain. As I said before, it's about 500 million years old and it's looking for risk and reward. So the first thing I'm going to do is approach people so that they

can see me, because if I approach from behind or in their peripheral vision, it will take a fight and flight for them because there's way more risk to me approaching them, being able to hear my approach, being able to hear and see my approach and my full body being visible to them. So I'll approach where they can see most of me and I'll do open palm gestures that exactly navel height. Those open palm gestures are a signal of no tools, no weapons, nothing in my hands. Again, no risk, more benefit. And I'll be opening those palms at exactly navel height. The the navel area, that stomach area is very, very vulnerable. And if somebody takes control of that, they got control over most

of your body. They got control over your center of gravity. So if I'm approaching, very visible, no tools, no weapons and displaying my center of gravity and the delicate organs that are around there, it means I don't think you're a predator and I'm certainly not a predator. If I was a predator, I would be approaching from behind or I would be swinging from side to side as I approach you. As Chase was saying, full on, I would be approaching my body, full onto yours and swaying from side to side, or just kind of angling myself in a zigzag motion towards you to confuse you as to you being the target. So that's all you need to do is lots of open palm gestures, the naval height, and be in clear

proximity. Then you might want to do a signal for the social mammalian brave. Now that's going to depend on the group that you are part of. So the people around you who are most important to you, they probably told you the greeting that you should do, whether it's a, you know, high five or a handshake or some other type of greeting a bow. I don't know what group you belong to because different groups, different societies will greet in different ways. That's why that greeting is part of the social mammalian brain. It's learned not part of the reptilian brain. There's no DNA programming for handshakes or bows,

or certainly ritualized bows, or certainly DNA for lowering yourself in front of something with more status. So there's my art before you, Hala. Amazing, oh my gosh, so much great content. This is literally one of my favorite topics. I don't know about you guys listening in, but it's so fascinating.

And every time I interview somebody about this, I learn something new. Amelia, what are your top tips for making a good impression when you're at a networking event and to appear more friendly? Well, thank you for the question. I have a great stuff. I do too.

This is one of my favorite topics before I spend most of my time because I find human behavior absolutely fascinating from every level. So in a networking band, for me, when I'm working with clients and or setting up the stage from the event, outward-facing, it's to get the lay of the land, right? And so, behaviorally, an event usually has stage for you talking points, right?

So that if you just picture an event in a big circle, even though most of them are reptiles, but in a circle, the event coordinators are usually stationed in the middle of the circle, and they're put there because they're trying to be like greeters and minglers. And then along the edge, which means that you were thinking about a bull die like two colors out along the edge, they have communication starter areas, which would be like a refreshment area, maybe a snack area, kind of goes around the edge. Now, if you take a look at that from a behavioral standpoint, people who are pro-active going to engage in the conversation, which means they're going to be the one who starts the conversation,

finds their comfort in the middle of the circle. That's where they go, they walk in, you see them charge towards the middle, that's where they kind of stake their ground, and they are comfortable making those first engagement, right, this area that they practice and it's that's how you're going to find them show up. Other people, their behavior is to go towards the recolors from the bull's eye to go around where the communication starters were left, the bar, the snacking table, right, and they're comfortable having a little bit of a wooby there and from that wooby they're going to try to interact. Now they're not going to try to interact now they're not going to be as aggressive as the people in the bulls eye but they're still there for purpose and they're going to at least meet you halfway then you have the people who

hug along the wall and they're transmitting to you that you are going to have to approach them they're not coming anywhere near the center they're not going to see you they're not going to talk to you they're not following you to bathroom. You're going to have to see them. So depending on what your comfort zone is, just by looking at the room itself, can tell you where you can be more or less responsible for the opening of the conversation by just the placement of the room. Awesome. And Blanca, what are your thoughts on this topic? My thoughts are that people should be bold. You should really be bold

and put yourself out of your own comfort zone. That means if you're not sure, maybe you go to a networking event and you're not sure who you wanna talk to. A lot of times it will happen. If someone might go to the bar but they'll have their back to the whole room, I say don't do that.

I think you can turn around. I have your back to the bar because you want to look out. You want to appear friendly. Like if you see somebody who's huddled up in a corner and have their shoulders drawn inwards to or themselves, what silent message are they sending to you? At that moment, you may not know why, but at that moment, they're saying they're into themselves.

But if you want to meet people or you want somebody to come up to you, then you have to present yourself as open. Look towards the room, have a smile on your face. And that's so much more inviting and friendly. Because if you look at two people and one has a scale on their face at one side of the room, and somebody has a nice big smile, who are you going to grab a tour? Grab a cake tour.

You're going to go to someone who appears friendly and interesting and interested. Yeah, completely. And if I could just share one gem, I learned this from Dr. Jack Schaefer. He's an ex FBI agent I had on my show a couple times. He says that look for people who, like, if they're standing in a circle talking to each other, if there's an opening, that means that, you know,

you're welcome to kind of approach that circle if their feet are kind of pointing out, but if their feet are pointing inward, and they have kind of like a closed circle, that means that you're welcome to approach that circle if their feet are pointing out, but if their feet are pointing inward, and they have a closed circle, that means that it's private and they don't really want you to join. So that's another tip from me. Chase, the next question is for you,

and it's on the Colombo method. So it's related to this topic. What is the Colombo method, and how can we use it to increase our influence? So the Colombo method is something I've been a fan of ever since I've started watching that show as a kid. And the entire premise of the show is that this detective, if you haven't watched it, I know your audience is pretty young.

But if you haven't watched the show, the premise is this old detective is not really put together. And he appears to be a food to the person that's solving or the person that committed the crime. So they think he's a dim wit and to their downfall. And he has this insane ability to know exactly what people need to hear and what they need to feel in order to start revealing some information. And if there's one thing I've taught longer than anything is intelligence, solicitation, and interrogation. And this Colombo method works so well because it makes the person feel very comfortable and it escalates their level of interpersonal comfort in the conversation. And a lot of ways that this works,

especially with the Colombo method, in particular, is that when you understand how a person needs to be communicated with, and this goes down to the social needs. So they need to feel strong and powerful. Do they need approval? Do they need to feel like they're a part of a group? Do they need to be seen as intelligent? Do they complain all the time? They want you to know how bad they've got it. Identifying that very early on in the conversation does magical things, especially in terms of interpersonal communication, just understanding what that person really needs socially in the conversation.

Are they talking all about themselves, which is just fine for them. Obviously, if we're learning behaviors, that's not a good thing to do. But if they want to talk about their education and the publishing articles that they've published and things like that, then that's where we focus on this person needs to talk about those things. To just understanding those small things and Columbo never had the desire or the worry about social status. And I find that when people get into trouble socially, they're typically worried about status.

They either, they see themselves as too low or they push themselves up high because they're very concerned and very frequently thinking about status and other people's status and where they fit into a pecking order. Super interesting. Any of the other moderators have anything to add here? Yeah, I think it's just interesting, you know, that Chase there is using that metaphor of high and low in terms of status.

And so you can think about when you want to make other people comfortable, you don't want to be taking the high ground too much. You want to make sure that they have literally the high ground too much, you want to make sure that they have literally the high ground, that they have some form of height over you, or certainly you want some level with them. I think the place to go is, can you level out the status of height so other people can feel comfortable. So again, if I approach people who are sitting, I want to get sitting to I'm the same level of them as quickly as possible. If I can't sit,

maybe I want to crouch down a little bit lower myself a little bit so I can talk at the same eye level as them. Because yes, as Chase says there, people may be worried about their social status and that's happening in their paleo mammalian brain. The same time, their much older primitive reptilian brain is simply worried about being over shadowed. It literally gets worried if you pass a shadow over the top of it because it feels like there may be a predatory above. Remember, 5 million years ago, we were worried about predators above and predators below. Big ago, we were worried about predators above and predators below. Big cats, which were already tall of enough, large predators in the

air and also predators on the ground to try and get on the same level as people. Literally make that idea of height, a reality, and not just a metaphor. I think that's great, Mark, all of a sudden the same thing too about crowding, you know, depending on where you are, especially if you're a whole person and you're so close to somebody who happens to be shorter than you, it feels like they're literally just coming down right on top of you, right? So sometimes just giving somebody a little bit of that space as you're getting to know them allows for the the equaling of the playing field that Mark was talking about. That equal status also shows that you're interested

and receptive and you're trying to learn more about them how you can serve and support them. So your physical body and your facial expression should match your intent going into the conversation. Young and profitors, do you have a brilliant business idea but you don't know how to move forward with it? Going into debt for a four-year degree isn't the only path to success. Instead, learn everything you need to know about running a business for free

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university podcast. New episodes drop Mondays and Thursdays. Find the millionaire university podcast on Apple Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts. I love that. And so for me, when I'm hearing all of this, all of this friendly body language and things that we should be doing,

it seems very opposite from what we should be doing if we wanna command authority. And so I wanna talk about authority next and how we can be more authoritative to set context for this and for everyone listening to understand how important being authoritative is and how powerful it can be.

Chase, can you tell us about the Milgram experiment and how powerful authority can be? Yeah, so let me just set the stage really quick. It's 1962, it's a pretty cold day in Yale University. And these people respond to an ad in the newspaper and essentially they go into the psychology building at Yale, which is the Lindsay Chattam Hall. And they basically get sat in a room next to a box and there's a guy in the other room right beside them. And every time he gets an answer on a

test wrong, they have to shock him with electricity through the wall. And the voltage meter that's in front of you as a volunteer goes from zero to all the way to 450 and then says XXX danger severe shock. So they predicted 0.09 people would go all the way to the end. Shocking this person in another room who's screaming, you can hear him through the wall, he's saying he has a heart condition, and then stops responding altogether.

How many people are going to keep shocking this guy? And they thought 0.09 percent, the actual results were between 64 and 67 percent of people would commit murder and This took place in less than an hour. There's no insane body language skills. There's no persuasion. There's no hypnosis There's no influence tactics going on here and This was during the Nuremberg trials of Nazi Germany and the Nazis were saying you know We were just following orders, and Stanley Nogram's parents were Jewish, and he wanted to figure out, can this be true?

Is this really true that somebody could say, I was just following orders? And this experiment's been replicated many times to rule out all the fallacies, and it's got very similar results every time. So what makes a person do something so atrocious, or we could just take it out of context for a minute, what makes a person feel like they have full permission

to do something that is completely outside of their norm? What makes somebody do something very unusual for their character? And that authority plays a major role. And on one hand, part of that authority was this guy is wearing a lab coat. He resembles a doctor and there's articles on this. If you want to go Google this later and you're listening now, you can look up white coat syndrome and how we're affected by perceived authority. Not just some authorities are unjust and sometimes even a doctor can give a patient

a diagnosis of the terminal illness incorrectly and the patient still dies. There's plenty of books and stuff written on this, but part of the thing that that goes into the authority is our primitive brain or mammalian brain, if you will, is always scanning, especially in events where we have little information. So if something is new and we're introducing the concept of novelty, the mammalian brain automatically starts scanning for what it perceives as a potential authority figure and makes a decision to follow. And of course, there's tons of body language stuff here. But I would give you, you're listening right now, if you want the hard and fast tip, the

number one thing to start triggering the other person's mammalian brain, which is what makes all of our decisions. So our mammalian brain stuff, all the stuff in the base of the brain makes an emotional, unconscious decision and then our conscious mind takes credit and rationalizes it most of the time. But if we want to trick someone's brain and thinking, wow, this might be an authority figure, I need to pay a little bit more attention here. Try just for a few days, don't you try this experiment. Try to not move any quicker than you would if you were in a swimming pool. Make that your maximum speed, if your body was underwater, how fast did I move?

That would be the difference you get in the reaction from people that you're in conversations with this week. But authority above all else, persuasion, anything else authority is programmed into our genetics because we didn't obey the tribal leader. We didn't listen to the tribe a million years ago, a hundred thousand years ago, we were outcast or we were killed and our genes, our DNA, stops existing on Earth. So powerful. I think everyone is getting so much value out of this conversation. I wanna pivot to Mark here. Can you talk to us about how we can hack authority

and trigger an obedient response? Yeah, that's a really, really interesting question there. Here's what I wanna do to build on what Chase is saying there. We need to understand that not all tribes are the same. Different tribes have different values for the least, Richels Customs, Gold, Concerns and Seagnots. And we learn those for the tribe that we are a part of really early on. And when we change tribes, then we change those values for the least, Richels Customs, Gold, Concerns and Seagnots. That can be really painful. That's really hard work. So look, here's what you need to understand, the white coat in the

milgroom experiment will not work everywhere. It will work in all the tribes where that white coat is seen as having value, but take that white coat and clipboard full of scientific ideas, maybe to a homeopathic convention, and if they not have the same authority, because that particular tribe have a different set of values and beliefs and goals and concerns. So the way to hack this system, I would say, is to understand the person you are trying to influence and persuade, using authority, you need to understand that they are not an individual, they are part of a group, we are social mammals, anybody who says, yeah, I'm a total individual, you've got a problem, you've got a problem with being part of society, and it probably won't work out for you, particularly well, eventually. Okay, so we are part of group and we need to work out how that individual, as part of that

group, what value system they are underneath and therefore what are the signals we need to give them in order to trigger their tailor-made-in brain to going, that's a value signal, we pay attention to that and we do what that signal says. So first of all, you've got to look at that individual and work out what tribe, what group, what society they're part of and they've signed up to and what are the most valuable signals you could play them in order for them to start to behave in the way that you want them to behave. That's great. And then the next question I have is for Amelia.

I want to know what qualities or traits can kill our authority. Great question. So we're creatures of habit. Our brain is trying to detect unmatched. So being consistent in your tone, being consistent to what you're referring to, right? Help other people follow, learn, and validate what we're saying. So for example, if I'm trying to say I like you,

but my face is saying I don't like you, or if I am making a reference into it that's giving a mixed signal, right? People disconnect when there is a conflicting or mixed messaging, right? So in so often, whether you're talking about a brand or a company or the team building, any time you give a mixed message, write a full thought. They thought they create no action. And so all of those mind body and spirit, mind body and your intention, have to be in alignment to convey the message that you intend in a way to land it to the audience

on what's important for them. And so all of that is at play, the more that you can align internally with what your intention is, what are you trying to accomplish? So at least you get your side right, then it gives you more opportunity to then figure out how are you going to connect

with what's going on outside of self. But the biggest behavioral rules are internal tools that create exponential outside results. Yeah, and how about the body language or the way that we dress or even our blink rate? Maybe Chase, you can talk to this. Like, what are some of the things that just show that we are not authoritative and we have no authority? Well going under what Mark said in our society or in the tribe as Mark would put it, how do authority figures dress and how do they look? There was a great experiment done with this called the crosswalk experiment for this guy and Blue Jeans and a T-shirt breaks the

crosswalk when he's not supposed to and he crosses the street, of course, and no car is coming. A couple of people follow him through the crosswalk, but the same guy goes and puts on a suit and tie and decides to cross the crosswalk and increases the amount of people that follow him across the crosswalk by around 80%.

And this is profound that just the clothing or the appearance of that person was enough to break the law. And we also see this in these experiments called the bystander effect, where someone's laying down on the floor or on the ground in a subway station, crying for help, and the statistics actually prove that the more people that are around you, if you're in need of help, you get God forbid, you get stabbed or something like that or you get sick or mugged, the more people that

are around, the less likely you are to get help. And that's the same thing that's going on in our head that we talked about. The brain is on this constant scan for authority. And in this case, one person doesn't have it, the crowd does. And in this case, the crowd forms a silent contract not to help. And the moment that we see someone maybe we're looking, you know, we have this social obligation to do what everyone else is doing. And of course, nobody thinks they would fall victim to that. Nobody. But of course, evolution says otherwise. But the moment we see someone start heading towards the person that needs help, they're deviating from the group, we look at them because we also want to help.

So we have a potential accomplice. But then if we look at them because we also want to help. So we have a potential accomplice. But then if we looked at them when they were wearing shabby clothes or they also looked sick or like they needed help, we'd be less likely to help or their posture was poor. They weren't really paying attention to what they were doing and were wondering, oh, maybe they don't even see that person that needs help, even though they're walking towards them. So there's so many visual cues that our brains reading unconsciously all the time. A lot of those are posture and speed of movement. If there's one thing, I think a lot of body language experts probably everyone here can agree with, is speeds up different parts of our body.

So fear makes our body move a little bit faster. So go back full experiment and try that again. Don't move faster than you could if your body was underwater. And, Hullar, remember, we're also using these same behavioral tools behind the scenes. You know, a lot of the work that we do is on set on TV with our AA list personalities. Right? So even though the talent actually is small, we broaden them with their clothing

so that we have shoulder pads so that the gentleman looks like he has more of that satcher. When we shoot, we shoot in an angle so he appears taller. When placement next to other talent, we put them up on a box so that they appear to be bigger, right, because we're portraying the character. When we're doing talk show environments, if you notice, if you pay attention now, you'll look, you'll notice that the host, right, their chair is

lightly bigger and elevated over the guest. It's only about an inch or so different, but they are shot differently than the guest. The guest is shot in an angle where the host is shot straight on. The chair is a little bit higher, and these are all subconscious cues of that is that you're talking about. And so you're seeing them from the marketing side that your body is getting conditioned for them. So what we're talking about is reverse engineering them when you want to use them for your favor. So for myself, when I wear red, that gives a different signal to an audience than I wear blue.

So if you look at the stuff that I've done more on say Fox and CNBC and that type of stuff, you'll see me in blue. If you see me where I'm being more in a role of an expert, you're going to see me on red. If I'm working with a younger audience, you're going to see me in yellow, right? And so you have all of these tools around you, behavioral tools that you can use to your advantage based on your desired outcome. Or is your desire to engage so that you're helping and serving? Is your desire to be a sort of, so people are listening?

Is your desire for credibility so that you're respected? And all of it, body language, choice of words, color, height, positioning, all makes a difference in the outcome and response that you're getting from others. And let's look at it from the other side of the coin. So you guys are giving us advice on how to be authoritative. Now what if we're in a situation and someone is commanding authority and we don't want to be manipulated? Like, what should we do as people to kind of keep our eyes open and not become accidental murders like the Milgram experiment and any mod who wants to answer this camp? Sure, I can jump in there, Halle. Look, here's what you need to understand, I think. For example, in Canada right now, if I put on a police uniform and walk down the street, I can be prosecuted for imprisonment for up to five years.

This is called impersonating a police officer. Now why five years for just putting on a costume? The reason is, is the power that that image has, authority knows that the major amount of power is in the dress there, is in the symbols that somebody else sees and how they'll get triggered into obedience. And that's been done in the alien brain. You were taught that obedience. You were taught.

When you see this badge, when you see this badge, when you see that hat, when you see that uniform, start to do specific actions around that B compliant. So what we need to do in order to override or countermeasure the mammalian brain there and all its training is to use critical thinking and the neocortex. That part of the brain is only about 200,000 years old. It's pretty new, but it's super powerful. The first thing you want to do is start asking questions of the authority figure. Just any question you like, any question that anything you can think of, okay? You just want to start asking a question because that's the start of critical thinking and when you start that critical thinking process you'll start to see if the authority figure in front of you starts to respond to your questioning of

them and starts to lower their status. Okay so any question that pops into mind the first question you can think of whether it's what do you think of the weather today or where did you get your shoes from the first question you can think of whether it's what do you think of the weather today or Yeah, where did you where did you get your shoes from anything that you can come up with will start to puncture the obedient trigger system that often these These symbols that have been played on you are having on you there. There's my thoughts Chase bonka millia anything to add here Yeah, that is my thoughts. Chase Bonca, Amelia, anything to add here?

Yeah, absolutely. I think what Mark was saying is absolutely, I agree with 100%. And awareness is the number one way to avoid this. So the more you know about this stuff, if you just learn a little bit of neuro anatomy. So if you, if you're listening right now and you stick your fingers in your ears, you're going to be pointing towards the mammalian part of your brain. And understanding just where it

is and how it starts to work in environments like this when we respond to authority figures. Understanding that a lot of this is coming from a million year old part of your brain. That awareness is what gives you control. And you're basically taking what's operating in the dark and shining a big flashlight on it. So we're not going to meditate our way out of a million years of evolution. It's not going to happen. So I think understanding that awareness is the best way to do it.

Awesome. So I'm going to quickly reset the room here. So welcome to everybody who's tuning in. I see a lot of you guys are hanging out. That means that you're finding value in our conversation. And the next thing I want to talk about is building trust and how to tell when someone's lying. So let's start with detecting deception and

Blanca. I know you're an expert on this topic. How can we tell if someone is lying? Well first I want to say how you can't tell and there is no universal body language signs that let you know that somebody's lying. A lot of times people, if you think back to Pinocchio, the Disney character, every time Pinocchio lies in the nose, unfortunately, we don't have that. There's different pills that people have. A lot of it goes back to the base I needed that I was talking about. But again, keep this in mind, just because there's a change in somebody's behavior doesn't

necessarily mean that they're lying. It could be that they're uncomfortable. Maybe whatever question or topic is making them think of something in the past, something that they heard, something that they know about somebody else. However, when you can start pairing up changes in body language, but really listening into the words, what people are saying, what they're not saying, that can give you a sense of, maybe there's a hotspot. Hotspot, I think, is more appropriate word because I don't want for people to say, oh, I heard this, so that means somebody's

automatically lying. No, not necessarily so. But listen again to what somebody's saying, what they're not saying. It can even go like when you study their grammar, for example, like pronoun you, this is a good example. If somebody is committed to what they're saying, you're going to hear them say, I, I did this, I did that.

I thought of this, I went here, I went there because they're making a commitment to what they're saying. So, but if somebody starts saying, went to the store, went six o'clock, went home, took a nap. Okay, wait a second, you're not hearing a commitment to what they're saying. Also, change in pronouns. If I'm talking more pronouns,

I'll go on this just for a little bit and let somebody else chat more about it. But you want for them to introduce a pronoun. Because they went, I went to the store with Bob. But later on in the conversation, the person says, oh, yeah. And then she said, but they're only talking about Bob. So they're switching on you. You have to make sure you're talking about Bob. But when you're asking somebody a question for clarification,

you want to come at it as that you just want clarifying information. You've got the pronouns that you're talking about Bob, and you're talking about she, but I don't know who she is. You got to be careful. You got to be careful not to make assumptions. You have to clarify in question. Thank you so much, Blanca.

Mark Chase, Amelia, anything to add when it comes to detecting deception or building trust? Yeah, let me just add one thing in here which is important to know, I think, is that lying is one of our most important social skills as is telling the truth. And the key is to know when to lie and when to tell the truth in order to fit in with the social group that you're part of. We all have to fabricate or exaggerate in order to get along with people and we all have to accept fabrications

and exaggerations in order to get along. So I think people should understand that you don't wanna become too good at detecting lies most of the time. What you'll end up with is some kind of anti-social behaviour disorder. So what you really want to know is when things really count, when things really matter to you, if you could get closer to the truth, would that be helpful? And so the process that I use really

is a critical thinking process. It's just thinking more about the body language that you've seen, the words that you've heard, the context that that's all in, gathering even more information and intelligence around that, and then taking your first assumptions about what somebody said and how they behave. And now putting that against some new assumptions that you might have, now you've thought a little bit better about it.

And the thing about this critical thinking process is that it can be quite short, it takes quite a bit of brain power to do it. And so most of the time you won't do it because it's a little bit hard. But when things really matter, when you're thinking about important relationships, important deals, important moments in your life with people who you maybe don't know so well or trusting them immediately could be at a higher risk, that's when you just wanna use a little more critical thinking.

You know, look at the body language more, the language more, bring some newer assumptions in and test them against your older assumptions. I'd like to add to what Mark just said, and I love what he just said because it really works well in sales, and I'll tell you why. So in sales people have objections, but they may not tell you exactly what's going on,

but if you can understand the body language or the hesitations that they might have, but then you can flip the script and you can identify what those hidden or silent objections are, then it turns out to be a win-win. So that's really good and a great example of what Mark was talking about and then how you can apply it. And so. Awesome. And Amelia, I think you were going to say something as well.

Yeah, I was going to also kind of just chime in with Mark with saying, you know, for me, it's not, are you lying to me? The question that I'm really looking at is, why are you lying to me? Right? And so, again, I like what the author was saying, it's a hot spot, right? Instead of saying it's lying because there's a lot of natural reasons why people fabricate, is that when somebody is giving you more detail than is required is usually the trigger for me that they are embellishing or not telling the truth. But the comfort zone for lying for many people is lying by omission, right?

So that's another behavior thing to also explore, which always then leads to be able to say, well, why are they lying? And is that work that needs to be done on your side? Or is that from back, I guess, that they're carrying? Got it. And, Chase, what are your thoughts on this topic? Yeah, 100% agree with everybody here. And if you want to dig into some tactics,

let's just do two very quick tactics to make this a little better. The first would be, number one, is that you have to look for deviations in that person's baseline. There's non-baseline ers out there. How do they normally act? And is there something different here? And finally, the best question, if you think you're being deceived, or you think someone is being deceitful, is to ask something called a bait question. And all you would do here is just say the following words,

is there any reason and then give them a plausible out or a plausible way to where they could re-explain that and start putting the truth into their answer. And to continue on with this tactical advice, what body language cues do people give off when they're lying versus when they're telling the truth? Mark, how about you answer that one? Yes, so just to reiterate that there is no single definitive cue there. It's literally a fairy tale, if somebody tells you that there is.

But what are some of the things we might see that are outside they use your baseline? Well, I guess simple things to look for are just anxiety. So we might see blink rate go up significantly, we might see self-stuiting, so that would be them rubbing their own skin with, you know, other parts of their body. We might see them cover over the joints of their body, so a hand goes over the elbow or the wrist or the fingers or over their knee. Again, behaviors that you might do if you are under physical stress and pressure, when under the mental stress and pressure of fabricating and there's

a lot of risk involved people will start to protect themselves. They might start to minimize, they might start to tuck their bike logons away from you. I mean, there's a whole heap of things. But unfortunately, there are some very good reasons why they'll do the exactly the same behaviors and it won't be because they're lying. Your dog is an important part of your family. Don't settle when it comes to their health. Make the switch to fresh food made with real ingredients that are backed by science with nom nom nom delivers fresh dog food that is personalized to your dog's individual needs.

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And the best part, they offer a money back guarantee. If your dog's tail isn't wagging within 30 days, they'll refund your first order. No fillers, no nonsense, just nom nom. Go right now for 50% off your no-risk two-week trial at trinom.com-shap. That's trinom.nom.com-shap for 50% off trinom.com-shap. So interesting. So we're going to continue on. If you guys have a question for the moderators now is your time to raise your hand and I'm going to start bringing up people on stage.

While we do that, if you're raising your hand, make sure you know exactly what you're going to say. This is recorded for young and profiting podcasts, so try to keep it concise, so we can get to as many questions as possible in these last minutes here. And I'm going to just go over one question with the mods and feel free. Anybody who feels enticed to answer the question, just come off mute and answer the question. And it's around COVID because all of a sudden, you know, once COVID hit and everyone was in quarantine and many people started working from home, it's like our lives severely changed. We went from seeing people in the office every day

to then being on Zoom calls. And a lot of our human interaction where we would see body language and things like that has been taken away from us. And now we really only have our screens. And so I wanna understand what your thoughts are in regards to technology and human behavior and how it's impacting society.

And what we can do to still command authority or to seem more friendly when we are not able to see people in person now and we just have our devices. Well, I was going to recommend Mark Bowdoin's YouTube video that specifically talks about this. Every time someone asks me about Zoom Body Language, I just send them a link to Mark's video. So please look at that first,

but I would say that your background is very important and I think we have some really good benefits to Zoom. That if you're learning behavior and you're learning body language, you can have your notes on what you want to look for. And the pronouns, the adjectives, someone use, how fast they're blinking, how often they touch their face, All the cool things you want to learn, but you can have that stuff on your screen, and nobody knows, so you could have that on Zoom and build up your skills while we're going through this lockdown phase.

Thanks for calling that out, Jay. Yeah, don't see my videos. I actually trained Zoom, how do you Zoom in terms of their presentation and how they show up? But you might want to check out my YouTube video. Lots of stuff there. But two quick tips for you. There are a couple of things that cameras do incredibly well. They do close up incredibly well and they do big long-shot context really well. So as Chase was saying there, think about your background, the context that you're in, and think about getting close to the camera so we can see the detail in your face. So the detail in your face and the context that you're in will help people

understand what exactly and how and the intention and the feeling with which you're communicating. And I'd like to add to that, when you see a screen, it's very natural that you're going to look at the screen because you think about it. When you see yourself in the mirror, what do you do? When you see a mirror, what do you do? You look at yourself, whether you're picking your hair, brushing your teeth, whatever it is that you're doing.

So, but to simulate eye contact in a screen, or when you're on Zoom, you really have to look into the camera. And it can be very awkward because you're looking into a black hole and there's no eyeballs looking back at you, but that is how you're gonna project some connection, some interest and some more through that camera. So people always ask me like, so when do I look at the screen? You can look at the screen when you're listening, but when you're really trying to make a point and talk, you want to look in the camera because it really is simulating like in-person conversation although it can feel very awkward.

Amelia any thoughts on this topic? I just concur with all of them. I mean your background is a representation in it tells and communicates the message about who you are and people notice it. So if you want to stay on brand, then your background should match it. One of the I was doing a interview,

I was trying to hire somebody, and they were talking about how organizing were, and it was a mess in the background. And I was like, hmm, stuff about this, I just don't believe you. Same thing, what Blancas talk about, icon pack, move your camera so that your camera is in more alignment where your natural eye level is at.

This way, you're not feeling uncomfortable, which means the camera in a desk light is up on that anxiety. So use the tools around you so that you're up, you put your best foot forward. Great. So now everybody who's on stage, be sure to have a concise question,

keep it to under one, two minutes max. Crystal, you're up first and how can we help you? Thanks, Paula. I love your show. I'm also a podcaster. And so I have a podcast with Great Read and what I have found is a lot of my big guests, I have gotten through connections and relationship

buildings. But if there's someone that I don't have any mutual connections with, and I retaliate to them, I'm wondering if you guys have any insights as far as word choices to use. I've heard like using the word support to be really beneficial. But I'm wondering again, if you'd have any suggestions for specific words that make you more trustworthy for people to be able to connect with you. I'd like to jump in here. And how do you pronounce your name? Crystal. Crystal. So if you have an important meeting or anything with someone,

I've never given this away outside of one of my trainings. But here's what I would recommend. You go on to LinkedIn or if they don't have a LinkedIn, their social profile, and scroll down to the recommendations that they have left for other people. So what we tend to complement other people on is what we like to hear and we like to be complemented on. Look at what they recommend to other people and look at the pronouns, the adjectives, and the words that are in there. Those are going to be the most valuable thing that you could possibly get before a meeting when you're meeting with somebody.

And all the phone calls on with what Tracy's saying to Tracy, so I was going to agree, is understand, and how what you are doing helps them in the momentum of what they're working on, they're more likely to listen. Versus when you're pitching something that has nothing to do with their interest, they're just going to move on. Awesome, Crystal. Did we help you? Do we answer your question?

You guys are awesome. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. Mertle, you're up next. How can when you mess up? You flip up on the question or you call the person by the wrong name or you do something like that? How do you move forward from that, especially if it's in the live or situation? What do you do when you mess up? You flip up on the question or you call the person by the wrong name or you do something like

that? How do you move forward from that, especially if it's in a live or a situation? What do you do there? Thank you so much. I appreciate you taking my question. I'll jump in. Use your charming personality.

I mean, I can hear your little giggle in your voice. We're all human and nobody, no client is expecting perfection. So roll with it, giggle with it, be honest and say, oh my god, I can't believe I just did that. I'm so sorry. Don't assume that the audience didn't know. You know, they know, acknowledge it, be human, and people will love you 10 times more for it. Yeah, I would agree, you know, acknowledge what happened, correct it, and move on. Look,

what we're doing here is the top culture, which means this thing that we're doing today, it'll be kind of being done tomorrow, and we'll make another one, and another one, and another one, and that's all you need to keep doing, is just making, making, making stuff, improving all the time, correcting things when they go wrong, and just moving forward,

and making better each time. I'll tell you, Murdo, just see Harvey, Harvey, one of my clients, his biggest tagline, I am your man, was an accident. He walked out and said it as an a free show and was just chuggling along and it happened to be something that actually stuck and that it got parted into the brand. So stay in sync with your faux pas because sometimes that your sub-pronter inter-calling coming right up, let you know it's a Coleman. Yes, and I'd like to add one more thing to that.

If you don't make it a big deal, it's not gonna come across as a big deal. So keep that in mind. People are gonna respond, they're gonna take their lead from you and how you respond to your own faux pas. This is all great advice, and I'd like to have a follow-up question to this.

So earlier in this session, I said, I'm sorry. And I know that's a big no-no when you're trying to be authoritative or command any sort of influence. So can you talk to us about the words I'm sorry and what that kind of triggers to other people when you say that? Yeah, I think many times, probably 99 out of 100, you can replace the I'm sorry with a thank you. So instead of I'm sorry, I think many times probably 99 out of 100 you can replace the I'm sorry with the thank you

So instead of I'm sorry. I'm late. We could say thank you so much for waiting. I didn't expect to be late so a lot of Any scenario that you can envision yourself apologizing to someone just think for a few seconds here We can replace most of those with thank you and replace sorry-ness with some gratitude. I love that advice. Yeah, I would add to that, I'll just just say that, you know, sorry is a cultural, it turns which group you're part of as to how much you should or should not say sorry, how authoritative it can be or not. For example, I'm English and we don't tend to say sorry for anything that we don't think we're actually responsible for. I'll

actually live in Canada now and people say sorry all the time for stuff that they have zero power over. And so, you know, it's tricky for me because I've changed tribes. I've moved from England to Canada and there's different value systems. So look, you've got to work out for yourself what is the value system you're under and what you're going to apologize for and what you're not going to apologize for and probably just stick with that. And Hala, if even is really isn't a policy, right? Where is the habit that is causing you to say I'm sorry and to examine as Mark is saying, is that really what you want to say? Is it really that

you're saying you're sorry or is it maybe a more appropriate word for you so that you change your behavior and you step into the better version of yourself, right? Because nobody was expecting a sorry when you said sorry because there wasn't anything to say sorry for but i think it's an internal conversation absolutely and i would like to add that i talked about this on the doctor i show talking about that women tend to say i'm sorry more than men and what they could use as replacement and so picking up on what Amelia saying you could say oops this oops could you use oops or pardon me or excuse me like what are some substitute words? And if there's a long list of what Chase is saying, also, they could replace, I'm sorry,

with saying you. So you just have to depend on the context and what's happening and what you're going to say that you can use some substitute words. And you still get the message across, but you're just not saying, I'm sorry, because too much of I'm sorry can really not make you look as powerful because everything you're sorry about and some people can misinterpret that as weakness. You have a super cool name so make it a hot laugh moment.

Yeah. Thank you, thank you. This is all such great advice, Myrtle. I hope that we answered your question and I'm so happy that you had the confidence to come up here on stage. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. That was fantastic.

Yeah, great answers. I appreciate it. Very much. It took great. Awesome. Okay. So Ed, you're up next. What's your question?

How can we help you? Thank you for this master's course today in conversations. So what do you guys have great holidays? Nice to connect with you. I know we've been trying to get you on my from the heart podcast in Blanca. And I spoke this morning about the same topic. And that leads me to my question, obviously, in the podcasting world, and a lot of the communication

world, Hollis, you asked my question. I was going to, and I raised my hand about the nonverbal in Blanca. And I talked about that this morning a little bit as well on Zoom and in our pandemic world we're in. To talk to me a little bit as well on Zoom and on in our in our pandemic world we're in. They talked to me a little bit about the use of voice. Most of the people that listen to our podcast are not watching us.

So there is no real nonverbal. Can you talk a little bit about just voice inflection and emphasis on certain words and ending sentences? Is there just any expertise, any of you would love to share about the use of voice as opposed to just a nonverbal. Great question. Who wants to answer that? Well, I can step in from a brand-fanged standpoint.

I'm sure the other experts may be better at voice inflection, but to, because we're now in an auditory medium with podcasting to create and set up those moments so that the audience knows what to anticipate. So that's part of the reason why you've got certain segments. You talk and you set up the segment, but you can have cute little signature either tones that let somebody come in. If you look at a lot of the really well done talk shows and podcasts, they have intros and they have outroes with healthy audience, what's going to participate.

They have little pings and pongs that kind of reinforces what's happening. One of the big podcasts out there is Drop the Mic and they literally drop mics when somebody says something amazing. So you drop the tone to reinforce what your show is going to be about and when you land those messages for a signature for your branding. I love that. I appreciate that. Yeah, my podcast is called From The Heart.

As I mentioned, and so I always end. I guess giving Blanca and hopefully all the preview of when you come on. The last question I will ask is what's in your heart? Play on my last name, but it's also the whole purpose of the podcast is not necessarily what do you do, why do you do it, what is it in your heart, what drives you? So give us a heart sound.

So maybe it's the strumming of a heart when somebody says a heart moment and then people realize that is coming from you. And then at the end of the week you can post all the hearty moments from your show which also then builds traction and then you can use the chicken soup from the soul methodology and put all a thousand of those stories into a book and then push out a book and then you can then have merchandise that also follows that you're so and so

forth. That's awesome. I love it on New Year's Day. I actually took my first 48 episodes in 2020. I don't have any sense, but I actually captured the last 20 to 60 seconds of my guest telling me what was in their heart. So I like the idea now pushing it up over the book and the merchandise and so forth. You're reading my mind. Thank you. And Ed, I'll just say this really quick at just 30 seconds here.

They built a machine at M-I-C called a sociometer that measures charisma and it has like a 99% accuracy rating. And it only really measures two things. And that one is the movement of someone's body, whether or not they're animated when they speak. And the other one is tonality shifts. And whether or not their hitch goes up and down, and their tone goes up and down while they're speaking. And that was a artificial intelligence identified that as one of the top three things

for how a person gets seen as a leader or charismatic. Thank you, Chase. I jotted that down. I appreciate that. That's excellent. Yeah, because we hear the statistics, I think, call up, send them to the top of the show about 70% of our message is nonverbal. And then I don't know what the numbers are.

I know Blanca, you and I talked about that a little bit this morning about how much of it is voice versus words. Any thoughts from the last question that I'm going to shut up to another's others. On what those percentages really are as far as the nonverbal, the verbal, the voice? Well obviously those percentages, even if they were true in the first place, I'm quite absolutely skewed if you're only on a voice platform. Right. And then you know, that's all you got.

All you got now is my voice. So what are you going to do? Yeah, you could look at my face there So, what are you going to do? You could look at my face there in front of you maybe and this little brown thing that keeps flashing on and off. I mean, you can look at that. But look, those merabian figures are not ever particularly accurately described.

So, I wouldn't pay very much attention to those. Just know that on a sound platform, we are making all our judgments about you right now, based on the tone of your voice. Yes, you might come with a frame, I.E. a bio that you gave us, or a picture of you, but then in the moment of hearing your voice,

we judge you, and the music of your voice will help us judge. Is it going to be good for us or is there a risk involved? Thank you so much for your question, Ed. And I would love to come on your podcast. I think it's just I've just been getting so many messages lately. So just slipped. So I'd love to come on your podcast, definitely DM me or email me and we'll definitely set that up. Thank you so much for your question. So I want to do a time check. I know we're two minutes to the hour.

Mark Chase, do you guys want to hang on and answer some more questions? Or do you want to say your goodbyes? I know you guys have a recording. Yeah, you know, we have to go and do recording of the behavior panel together. So certainly, I think we're going to drop out of this. It's been great hearing from all of you, all the other panelists,

and thanks, Pal up for having me on the show. And I'm going to drop off now and join the behavior panel. So Chase, I'm going to see you there. Thanks, everybody for listening. Thanks so much, Mark. We're having a sound very much. We're heading over to record an episode of the Behavior panel. Appreciate you guys.

And Blanca, Amelia, great to talk to you guys as well. Hopefully, can connect offline. Thank you everybody for tuning in. See you. Thank you guys so much. Rob, you're up next. How can we help you? Yeah, thank you for having me.

Of course, I did want to talk to Chase real quick, but that's OK. So as a retired Navy SEAL, I came from a background of developing informant while we're going to comment on him and really develop an appreciation for human behavior. And honestly, like most SEALs, I'm an average looking guy with humble backgrounds. So, you know, when I tell people I was going to steal training, they were like, I'm sure you don't want to be an accountant or something. You know, in my class, we had a guy who was an Olympic athlete. And like when he told people, they're like, yeah, well, that makes sense for you. But the interesting

thing when we're talking about authority is that's not the power of authority during steel training, during hell week really is the first time I got a grasp of how powerful it is. And everyone that goes into steel training has this mentality, I'll never quit. And then I'll send how we break out. And for the first hour, it's intense, and it's fun, and it's blowing up and stuff up around you. And then you're just in the freezing cold water sitting around with your thoughts.

And no one's quitting until that Olympian stands up and decides he's done. And he starts heading to the belt of quit. And as soon as he did that, there had to be 15 to 20 guys. They couldn't line up fast enough behind them. And the reality of that phenomenon was that this Olympian can't make it. How can I make it? Because you're already in your own head questioning yourself.

So I love to talk about authority and I do have a question on it. You talked about it as far as hosts getting an edge and kind of sitting a little bit higher. I also have noticed that white course design, the course the way they do that. These grand hallways and these pillars and marble and they really make you feel less than they are, which gives them an edge. So I'd like to know because we do a lot of negotiation and we're negotiating every day. How would you guys suggest using this as a hacking tool to ethically use in a negotiation situation? There's a lot of tools that you can use in negotiations.

One of the first ones that we always use, especially in a conference room environment, where a lot of these negotiations happen. So if I can put that as the visual for a second is being able to have fidget tools on the table because what somebody chooses whether they fidget with a paper clip or a pencil or a pen or whether they doodle but that behavior tells you about the person that you're negotiating with. tells you about the person that you're negotiating with. It also gives you an entry into how to unwind that behavior. So by putting those types of things on the table, it gives you a tell. The other thing is by positioning yourself as the good cop, bad cop, the friendly, you see this with law enforcement all the time right that somebody is the one who

Offers them the food the snack or you're tired of the lights to bright right? That's the good cop and then you have the hammer the wind to go negotiations that buddy system is very powerful when done right That that's amazing You never thought about using fidget tools and whatnot. And I think a lot of the things that we used to do down range translates, but it's really about trying to stay ethical. And I think what you just described is so simple, but I guess the simple things are never easy, but thank you for sharing that, because that was brilliant.

Great job, Amelia. Thank you so much, Rob. We're going to move to the next question. Paul, you're up next. How can we help you? Hi, I'm lovely to hear you all here. I am a magician and an actor and a podcaster. And one of the people that I had on my podcaster's mark, was Martin, who he actually, I've worked with his friend and we worked together. He used to directly at drama school, actually. And one of the things that I was gonna bring up with him in the room, actually, was we were talking

about authenticity. And he brought up a great point about authenticity, because I was saying, you know, one of the things, certainly between the podcast is gaining rapport or having rapport with the person you're talking to and being authentic and he put up a fantastic point and I wonder what you guys also thought about it was that all sensitivity cups differently just pending on to even your talking to because he said to me if you're talking to your mother you are authentic

It says to me, if you're talking to your mother, you are authentic, but you're talking a certain way. But if you're talking to your best friend, you're equally authentic, but it's a different authenticity. And I found that really interesting. And so that's sort of one thing that I was interested in, people's point of view. And also my podcast, which was the magic of podcasts, being a magician, I'm interested in actually the creative connections between people. So I'm interested in actors, the magicians and speakers and podcasters, finding those

artistic connections and creative connections and that's something that I find fascinating. And so in gaining rapport, my podcast is on ages, but I think the more you actually get in with someone, the more you start talking. And certainly over a period of time, you can unlock some of the more interesting and untold stories from them. And that's something I found doing my podcast and being interested to hear you guys point of view. I'd love to start with answering your question about authenticity.

I completely agree with Mark. Yes, and you're still being authentic because what you're doing essentially needs any examples like how we talk to your mother and your best friends can be different because you're appealing to what interests them. It's learning about that person and what their preferences are

and their likes and their dislike. And so you're still being authentic, but you're catering to that person, but you're still bringing your real selves to them, just like you would with your mother, or you do with your doctor, or you do with your child, so it's very different. But it's really assimilating into that other person

that's still being true to yourself and what you can contribute to continue to develop rapport and trust and likeability. And I'll just jump on that long enough. It's also understand like you're in your power of authenticity. Sometimes that triggers your audience with the person on the other side. Sometimes when I'm in my most authentic self, something that's going on for them work that they are still working on is getting triggered

and then create a response that they're threatened by my authenticity. So always mastering the skill of empathy, what's happening to the person that I'm communicating, what's my intention, how's happening to the person that I'm communicating, what's my intention, how's it being received, you know, the art of communication is to effectively transmit the intention that you intended. Until my intention is on your side, the responsibility stays with me.

Until you confirm that you understand what I intended in my message, then it goes on the other side. And when you can feel that that energy is not smoothly translating, sometimes it's holding back so that they can rise as much as they can in their highest and best self, but lots of times the work is just left on their other side. And then just as a total side note, I'm a huge fan of magicians because that is the art of behavior to the fullest extent. And so you are a behaviorist in so many forms when you can capture the audience's attention to what you want them to look at and ignore the other cues. So bravo to you with the skill I definitely

don't have but I admire. Thank you. I mean you bring up a really important point there I think as well which moves into context nuanced. And I am comedic and I can skirt along the edge of them. And in communication we you you know, there is always, we're living in a dangerous fine now that anything will offend somebody. And so it comes back to you before. And context and nuance are so important, the context of our conversation that allows me to say certain things that I wouldn't say in this platform, but we would be sitting together, we know each other, and then I'm able to say because of the context of the conversation. Yeah, and unfortunately, again, from the behavior, so many people have been conditioned to

pick up other people's baggage, pick up other people's suitcase, and you do such a disservice when you try to do their work. First of all, you cannot do their work. And second of all, you rob them from the opportunity to aid, come into awareness that they're carrying a very heavy suitcase, and be that they have to choose free will to put the suitcase down, and then create new tools to rise less burdened and less heavy. And so with good intention, we do a lot of painful acts. And so that is where I always try to tie us back to empathy, to understand that when

you're getting a response from an individual that isn't what you expected or wasn't what you intended, first to explore whose side is that really falling on and what can you do differently to align with what your attention is. And that's just an art form and skill, things that the panel block of we teach to help empower people so that they are not rooted in so much pain, bitter, angry, and resentful because they're not getting the response from people that they hope are anticipated. Great questions Paul. Thank you so much for your contribution to this conversation. I'm gonna reset the room really quickly and then also follow club pod.

I'm gonna be hosting rooms in here almost every single day, be it podcast hours or app live events like this. You don't want to miss them. Make sure you follow me on Clubhouse, tap the bell for always and also follow Blanca and Amelia on Clubhouse and on Instagram. So I hope you guys do that and we're going to move to the next question here. Madeline, you're up. How can we help you? Hey, I first of all, I'm loving the content and interaction here.

I'm a developmental coach and I focused on epigenetics and hereditary family trauma and how the effects human behavior. So I'm curious about, we've been focusing, it seems like more on other people's behavior in terms of hacking and figuring them out. And I'm wondering if there's any way for us to actually hack our own behavior. If you guys have the tips on that, I mean, I have certain tools, but I'm curious what tools you might have. And also, if it would be useful for us to even track within ourselves things like, are we using pronouns, a heart, how quickly are we talking in terms of, like,

skills that we would use to see if somebody else is lying to take those perspectives onto ourselves to track ourselves and to see if there's anything off in ourselves that we may not intuitively be feeling at the time. I'll jump on here. Samantha, first of all, I love Epicetics. It's a brand new awareness.

I would say over the last couple of years, even though it's been in our space for such a long time. If you follow me on Instagram and send me a DM, I will send you a free entrance into the Genius Key. I would love to show you how we do exactly that with lots of data sets that basically show you exactly what's coming in from your family lineage and your false beliefs that are in your DNA.

And then what you have added onto your ID and then it walks you through to either accept that it is working for you or say that it's not working for you. And then it walks you through to either accept that it is working for you or say that it's not working for you and then it leads you right into what does that mean to me. So if you just DM me on Instagram, I would love to work with you because I think your work is work of where we're going to over the next couple of years, especially people who are in so much pain right now because of COVID, because of the isolation, and we see it in so many of the numbers

with self-medicating and suicide and stuff like that. And they don't even realize that a lot has been held and stored inside of our body and inside of our lineage. I'd love to talk to you offline if you don't mind. I'd like to add to what Amelia said. And yes, I think it's definitely well worth looking at yourself. And I'm really happy that you brought this up, Madeline, because so many people are focused on the other person.

What is the other person saying? How are they acting towards me? Do they like me? Do they not like me? Can I? What are they telling me the truth? But what people tend to forget is that you're a part, and I'm talking about the universal you here, that you're part of the equation.

So the vibes that you're putting out, somebody is responding to and they're throwing back at you, so it is a very good idea to figure out what are your triggers, what makes you happy, what makes you sad, what makes you fearful, what makes you angry, what is it about this person that you've sent them quite, you gel with, it's really important to know what those triggers are because then you have a way to come back and to counter-accent. You have a way to come up with a different type of response. So again, I think it's a very great question that you bring up and it's worth it to everyone to reflect on their own body language and their own tonality and their own response and triggers. I totally agree. Thank you so much, Madeline, for your thoughtful

question. Tracy, you're up next. How can we help you? Hello. Hi. Thank you so much for having me on the stage. It's really been a super valuable conversation here. My question is when I'm in a room with two or three people, I can speak under confident and I can negotiate and sell no problem. But once it comes to crowd-facing or public speaking, or something as simple as getting into a clubhouse call and being up on stage, my nerves finally take over. And then, you know, once that happens, my voice gets shaky, my brain drops of blank, I'm suddenly not thinking clearly. And then the authority and everything kind of just goes away.

So my question is, is there a behavioral or mental hack that you could provide that would help prepare me and also just be in the moment so then that way I will always have that just to regain and keep the sense of authority and confidence in a room once that happens. Yes I have a couple of ideas and one thing that's very helpful I think is think about your intent before you get on stage. Think about your intent before you press the microphone and start talking on Clubhouse. What is it that you want to share? How is it that you want to share? How is it that you want to come across? When you think about your intent,

it helps take these focuss us as you, because then you're thinking about the people to whom you're going to be talking to. So we can transfer that from being on Clubhouse and being straight audio and you're standing in front of a crowd, so whether it's in-person or in Zoom, or in on-dume, and you're talking to a lot of people, then my advice is this.

Pick out one person at a time that you want to talk to because what you're doing is you're still sending the message and everybody's going to get it but it will help calm your nerves if you're looking at that one person at a time and then you can go your next point then you can transfer your eye contact from that one person to the second person. And then again, later on to a third person. And then some people, some of my clients will say, you know, I get nervous looking at somebody in the eye. I'm not very comfortable with that. Okay, this is a tip that I have for you.

So if you can imagine an inverted triangle that starts with the outside corner of one eyebrow, goes straight across to the outside corner of the opposite eyebrow, goes to the tip of the nose, and then back to the original starting point of that first eyebrow, that's an inverted triangle. And so then you can give people eye contact anywhere in that area, and it's gonna simulate is though you're looking at them

in the eye, this works for in person. And it makes you feel more comfortable, the universal view, if you're unsure about eye contact, and the other person feels like you're really talking to them. And I'll pop on here. So when we're helping people with TV, stage work, you know, filming, we find that when we give you a prop, right? So instead of using a lava layer, which a lot of speakers like to do that, which leads

their hands free, which causes more anxiety. Many times, holding the microphone, because the microphone becomes a prop, gives you that stability to get over just those first couple of moments before you find your level or your state of calm. But you can create your own prop, something that you can either hold onto, the prop could be entrance music, the prop could be something in the background that you may be looking at that nobody else realizes they're there. One of my most adorable personalities that we built, we actually used to put, if anybody

remembers those little big eye dolls, and so we used to put the little big eye dolls on the other side of the monitors. The audience never saw them, but every time there was a big eye doll, he would smile. And so the audience saw a smile, but what he saw was all the big eye dolls, which allowed him to stay friendly, keep smiling, tell a joke. So find yourself the prop that will allow you to step into your best self. Oh my gosh, so many value bombs. Thank you so much, Tracy, for your amazing question. Christina, you're next for Q&A.

How can we help you? Thank you so much for for your amazing question. Christina, you're next for Q&A. How can we help you? Thank you so much for having me. I appreciate everything that you guys all did in-site that we are gaining from this. And I appreciate you taking my question. I am a people's skills trainer for dental professionals, helping them to learn really the foundational skills that are needed to build trust in the relationships

that they have with their team and their patients. And a lot of the things that you have said here have resonated very much with me. And I'd love to throw this out to you all as the experts, as authoritative figures, dental professionals, dentists specifically. Not only are seen as authoritative just naturally by their job titles, but also by what they wear, as the cities have shown, but you also have obviously the white coat syndrome that happens as well. How we maintain that authoritative approach, authoritative figure, but come off as less threatening. What hit could you, the gems, could you shed some light on in that regard? Thank you for taking my question. So I'll hop in here.

First of all, talk about the patient versus the team. We have that as helpful. So when we work with doctors and people of authority, when they're in the business, might they're in the doctor's sort of role is where you see the lab coat and the coat of authority. However, when they're building their team or outside of service and clients, we ask them to remove the coat to be more human in their reaction with the team and those people who are supporting the back and grosses of business. So that would be my first tip.

And the second thing is to create a signature between you and your client. Whether that is a cute little fuzzy smiley face that you put for them to look at while you're diving down into their mouth, something that communicates your personality with the patient. I mean, you do guys do it with stickers with kids and kids love because they want the stickers. Do the same thing with the adults. What is it that they would love to expect and anticipate, which allows me to plug in

with your personality, make you memorable, and I remember yourself and your brand, and I think that's where the humanity part comes in. Awesome. Christina, did we help you? for the humanity part comes in. Awesome. Christina, did we help you? Did we answer your question? Thank you so much. That was so helpful.

And what a great perspective to take on it. Thank you. Awesome. Thank you so much. Heather, you're up next. What's your question for the panel? Hi. This has been very interesting.

I'm new to Clubhouse. And I'm just popped in here and love the panel. Hi, this has been very interesting. I'm new to Club House and I'm just popped in here and love the conversation. I just have a question about something that Amelia had spoken about a few minutes ago, wanted to know if she could expand on that when she was talking about the props in the middle of the table during a negotiation. Can you kind of expand on that giving maybe one or two examples of a specific crop and how that specifically helps you take advantage of the situation or have the upper hand or give you a good read into how that person might respond. Hey, they're great to see you.

Yeah, I love to. So, when you put props on the table, right, so just figure one prop is more obvious, right? Which is a paper clip, which has a defined use. Another piece of material, so maybe is more like clay or those little bouncy squishy things, right? Which is a different type of interface, softer and squishier. But you can also pull it apart and create something if you want to do. Doodling is another aspect of the behavior. So first of all, how quick somebody is to pick up a tool tells you the level of anxiety or confidence that they have, let's just pretend that it's a negotiation, right?

So quick to pick up a tool tells you that you have leverage already because they are trying to get out some of that nervous energy. Then the medium that they pick up on also tells you about their subconsciously. So if I'm going to take a paperclip and I'm going to change its shape and change its youth, it will show you that even though front facing I may have some doubt, I'm going to give you a run for your money because I psychologically believe I can manipulate the paperclips you versus if I took the Plato thing, which is meant or intended to create to see what they do with it. So there's all kinds of ways to help

understand the other person based on how fast they choose what they choose and what they do with the bite. And so I always encourage in any type of community environment to always have tools and access so that people can tell you a little bit about they are. That also works in the same arena with food, right? If somebody chooses the fruit and the nuts over the cinnamon roll and the bagel versus something that is maybe all more paleo, right? It helps them communicate to you, their belief systems, their values system, and what has meaning to them. And then you can relate that back to whatever it is that conference of the gathering was about. Thank you very much for the explanation. That's pretty great. Thank you so much. Awesome. Thank you Heather and Charlie, you

are the last question of the night. How can we help you? Hi, thank you so much for having me. I am a Christal teacher who's gotten into mental health and learned quite a bit about that. My question is about teen behaviors and what teachers should be aware of to be best in tune with their teams during this time and their students. It's really gonna have a tough time. I have a podcast as well, so I think it's Paula. I hope I pronounced that right.

I would love to slide right with you. It's called Advanced in Humanity, so we could do a lot of the same things because I see you're an education too. And Blanca, I would love to have you for a summit where we're doing, I need to get speakers to talk about teen behaviors and engagement, but about how their behavior, their body language

has us, the weed teachers can learn from them. So, and certainly I'm really glad to have some great stuff to give us as well. What I'm looking for is how teachers should look to their students to better engage them. Like what behaviors should we latch on to to help them and what should we be doing to show up better? So first of all, I have a huge respect for the education space.

We've made a huge commitment to empower more tools into it because I think your education is desperately lacking. The first thing I think is understanding how the mind imprints, especially at the young age, right? The visual auditory or kinesthetic primary learning, right? What trial learns first usually carries with them forever in life. We learn all three, we have to learn all three just to kind of survive.

But when we're stressed, when we're in conflict, when we're learning something, we default to that imprinting style. And so in education, a child is learning and is comfortable with one of those mediums. I mean, Montessori was just an example, right? Montessori was created to have a tactical hands-on, kinesthetic approach so that kids can

learn through their hands. And a lot of kids, that is their primary way of learning. Other people do visual and visual memorization, and that how they represent versus an auditory where they're making lists in short cuts. And so to really understand how the child default to and what has meaning so that the material that you're giving to them is in their natural style. We do that for our healing sessions with children to go back and to plant the seeds in their original form so that they can heal and understand that the gap that they're feeling between how they understand material and

how they had to morph themselves into their parents and or teacher or whatever the education system, that the gap A is real and B, the gap does feel like pain and that there's lots of tools that they can do to heal from that, from just the awareness and the understanding. That's awesome. Thank you. Yeah. As long as if you have anything to add, or how? Can I get that name right?

I'm so sorry. Yes, my name's how. Thank you so much, Charlie Blanca. Anything to add? I love what I know you said. I think you use right on the money there. And then, yes, you can just direct message me on Instagram and we can talk more about the self-lying, about the summit.

When it comes to teenagers, just establishing that rapport and that trust is really important and a lot of times teenagers feel like they know so much more than adult due. And then sometimes, some teenagers, when they start to bond with a teacher, then they kind of blur that boundary a little bit. And what I'm saying is, and you can really tell because it comes from Mr. or Mrs. Biot title and it can get to the first name or acute nickname, a respectable nickname. And that is a good sign, but then some teachers want to keep the more professional title.

But really, you can use body language and how you present yourself to help build or bridge that gap and that connection because you want a connection when teenagers trust you and they feel like they're non-judgmental of them. So whether how they perform or what they tell you or who they are or how they dress or what they believe, they're more likely to turn to you as a trusted adult. And many times they don't have that at home

for whatever reason, but they have somebody at school. And that is what you want to capitalize on, because his need trusted at all outside of home, in addition to home, I should say, but somebody outside of the home that they can continue to bond and respect, and he can come to have some discussion. And so having open friendly body language

is a one good way of drawing them in. And so many times, teachers are very busy busy because they have so much going on. They have classrooms of students and lesson plans and they're thinking of the next period or the next subject or whatever is coming next. That just really taking a few minutes of unadstructed time and giving your full attention. Just even for a few minutes, a few seconds make a very big difference to that teenager in terms of their perception of how you see them.

And that really can go a long way. Charlie, do you have any follow-up questions or did we help you today? You really helped. Thank you for very much, what's off-worms. And I will definitely contact you, Bob. Awesome. Thank you so much for your question.

Thank you so much, guys. This concludes this episode of Young and Profiting Podcast. My name is Halataha. Just to tell you a bit about my podcast, it's a top self-improvement podcast. I've interviewed people like Matthew McConaughey, Robert Green, Seth Godin, Mark Manson. If you enjoyed today's conversation, we always unpack actionable

advice from the brightest minds in the world. Thank you so much, Blanca and Amelia for joining us today. Can you guys just let everybody know where they can go to learn more about you and what you do? Blanca, if you want to go first and then Amelia, and then we can say our closing thoughts. Sure. You can find me pretty much anywhere on social media at Blanca Cove, whether it's Twitter, Facebook, YouTube, Instagram, which is my favorite, or my website, www.blancacob.com. You can send me an email, www.blancacob.com. My knowledge is your knowledge.

So please feel free to reach out to me and ask me any questions whether it has to do with your professional life Your personal life how to get along with other people or trying to read body language or you're figuring out Kind of figure out if someone's being deceptive Reach out and I'll be happy to help and I'm Amelia and if you can spell my first name You can find me pretty much anywhere you can get me at Amelia dot com You can get me across all the social channels at Amelia You can get me at Emilia.com, you can get me across all the social channels at Emilia. Also, you can also, if you just want to go to GeniusKey.com, you can do that as well,

GeniusKey.com. And DM me, I would love to serve any way I can in Blankets, in an absolute pleasure being on the stage with you. I just, I love your work and I had to learn from somebody like you to stop frowning when I speak, even though I think I'm thinking they put some signal that I'm being unfriendly but I get to intense. I understand and it has been an honor to be on the platform with those of you. So thank you so much. And I look forward to connecting with you offline.

Awesome, guys. Well again, if you guys missed the first half of this session, we also had Chase Hughes here. We had Mark Bowden, huge experts in this field. If you guys want to catch the replay, DM me the words Young and Profiting, and I'll send you that link directly. For now, we're gonna sign off here. So thank you guys so much for tuning in.

A lot of you guys I saw were here for the full two hours. So that's awesome. Again, if you guys wanna continue on with these valuable sessions, make sure you follow all the mods here. Tap the bell for always, follow us on Clubhouse and on Instagram, and also be sure to follow ClubPod. So we're just going to mute for a few seconds, let the room clear

out. You guys can definitely follow us, and then we're going to close out the room. Thank you so much for tuning in to this live, young and profiting episode. This is Hala, signing off. off. Are you looking for ways to be happier, healthier, more productive, and more creative? I'm Gretchen Rubin, the number one best-selling author of the Happiness Project. And every week we share ideas and practical solutions on the Happier with Gretchen Rubin podcast. My co-host and Happiness Guinea Pig is my sister Elizabeth Kraft. That's me, Elizabeth Kraft, TV writer and producer in Hollywood.

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