Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - 402-Wheeler Walker Jr-Your Mom's House with Christina P and Tom Segura

Episode Date: June 28, 2017

You have to be careful with a penis when it's really big cause you might end up dead! This South Florida man is really in a tough place (murder charge) because of it.  Plus how many people/hours does it take for Johnny Depp to get ready? Let's take a guess! AND special guest Wheeler Walker Jr. joins us and blows us away with his amazing voice and beautiful voice. Ol' Wheeler has got some pipes on him. 

It's a very exciting weekend. There's a lot to talk about. But, of course, we have some business to attend to, Gene. I am going to be in Richmond, Virginia. The first show was sold out, July 11th. We added a late show. A few tickets left for that. Virginia Beach the next day, sold out. Greensboro has a few tickets left. Asheville, North Carolina sold out. Charleston, South Carolina on July 15th, not sold out. Plenty of tickets. So many tickets. From there, I go to Montreal, Hampton Beach. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Australia. We do have to now, I have a ton of fall dates. They're all on sale. Tomseguro.com slash tour. Please go ahead and check those out. We do have to announce that, unfortunately, due to unforeseen circumstances, the mom cast that we had planned July 9th. We're not able

to do it that day. Show business, guys. Show business. We are honoring every ticket sold at the October 8th Irvine show. So if you're, if you're in sperm vine, if you want to go to that show, we're doing the podcast live 10, 8 October 8th. Your tickets that you had for July 9th are good on October 8th. If you're not available to come to that, you can get a full refund. So there's no problem with that. We're also doing the podcast live August 23rd in Breastballs Beach. That's the West Palm Beach improv in Florida.

Breastball. So, um, make sure you check that out. Jean, anything else? No, I'm taking a break now for a while after, uh, shooting the special. Let's get into that after the, I'm exhausted after the, uh, yeah, after the break here. Yeah. Because there's a lot to go over with that. I'm just doing, um, that's deep room doing your mom's house. So check out that's deep bro. If you haven't already, I talked about some real life shit. You know what I'm saying?

Hey, wow. Talk some shit. Please go to your mom's house podcast.com shop through the Amazon banner, any Amazon shopping you were going to do. Um, if you do it through our banner, it gets a little kickback to the show and it greatly helps the show. So if you like our show and you can do it, there's a Canadian banner and a UK banner as well as the regular US banner. And, uh, it's very, you know, it's very helpful. Here we go. Gene, you ready to start the show?

Super ready, bro. Let's do it. Gene. Trial of a South Florida man accused of killing his girlfriend continued today and so far no ruling on if he'll be able to show his penis to the jury like he requested. For more on the story, let's get to local tents. Carlos Suarez, he's been following this. Who is Randy? Don't bring anyone loving to this. Welcome to your mom's house with Tom Segura and Christina Pajit.

Welcome to your mom's house. Yeah. Fart Lauderdale. Fart Lauderdale. Fart Lauderdale. The semen hole. Yeah. Cock. Cock and come, come Sino. Rock, cock and come Sino and fart Lauderdale. I think that was one of the first cities we started to make fun of. I know. Because that was like such a, the hard cock comes Sino. It was right there. That's what it is. The hard cock comes Sino. It was right there. Those reporters were super attractive.

It's South Florida. Is that, was that why? Yeah, of course. Miami adjacent. Yeah. That's, yeah. It's attractive people, of course. Seriously. Miami, Miami LA, Jewdork titties. Good looking people. Yeah. On the news especially. God damn.

And this is the Latin vibe. So they got to be sexy. I mean, you, you've never seen a female anchor anywhere that looks like, yeah. Right. Right. No pigs allowed. No, no. Not in Fart Lauderdale. And the weather girls usually have like the low cut on down there. Why is that Tom? I think the Latins demand it.

Why? Pero porque quiero ver algo que no sé. Sexy, no? Why? What is it with the Latins and the sexy? What is that? Miami sex culture is crazy. I remember talking to guys now who, you know, are adults now about middle school and they're like, yeah, we're fucking in, in fifth grade. And that's my favorite, by the way. Are you talking about who was fucking in all the kids? Pacificly, who?

Pacificly kids, which kind of children? What do you mean? Like who? All the kids or that's what he was. He was saying that one of my friends was saying that, that you'd be made fun of, you know, like that's what you'd be teased about. Like, oh, you haven't been fucking yet. And they're like 10, 11 years old. God, I think. But, you know, you see the footage from Carnaval in Brazil.

Oh, my God, you know, titties out, ass out. It's also it's less thought of as taboo, you know, it's not. They're just like, oh, yeah, people have sex. I think it's a little hyper, hypersexual. Yeah. But still, they're they're not making it this dangerous. But the, but the also the irony is, is that they're deeply Catholic. So then you have this ironic, this weird juxtaposition of like hypersexual and then hypercatholic and they love their mothers.

It's a very maternal culture. So it's like, do you want to fuck or do you want to fucking feel guilty? Or do you want to fuck your mom? Do you want to fuck your mom? And also remember when we were in Puerto Rico, yeah, my, my holy grail. And I felt like I was visiting the whaling wall. You know what I mean? For me, it was just that personal to, to finally go to Puerto Rico.

Of course. Remember the towels? They would sell beach towels that were just like naked boners. Just naked people aren't like painted. So sexual. Who's your owner? Yeah. Yeah. What was that, babe?

What? Who's your owner? Who's your owner? Is that putt play? Who's your owner? Yeah. Don't burn what your ass smells like, but your cock and balls smell like. But not sexual.

It's not sexual. That's not sexual. Not at all. That's not sexual, guys. Let's just putt a bunch of guys just hanging out. Just hanging, being, being real, being guys. That's so funny. See, um, I was the Eastern blockers. We're pretty sexual too, but we keep it.

No, like they make out in public, like the kids, but that's cause everyone lives with their parents. I remember a semester abroad in Spain was, um, a lot. You saw a lot. I mean, I was in Madrid, a lot of middle, like a public teenage makeouts, a lot, like you would, it was, it was overwhelming, but oddly enough, like when I was in Peru, which is South America, Latin culture, very Catholic, they were much more, I think they were obviously doing things, but, um,

it wasn't a public thing. You put on a public face of a little more reserved. Well, decorum. Yeah. Yeah. Man, you know, come on, hold it together, pig. But I mean, that's Peru. And then right over here is Brazil.

And it's totally different. Brazil is just like, they just fucking the streets in Brazil, right? I don't know if they fucking the streets, but they definitely let their asses out. They let their asses out and their titties out everywhere, dude. You go to South Beach and you see those titties everywhere. Yeah, that's right. All kinds of titties.

I kind of like it. It's just like the gays. Yeah. But I like that culture. I feel comfortable in that. It makes me feel totally comfortable around all Latin cultures. Yeah, me too. It's very familiar.

I like it. I like it too. I, you know, my own tribe makes me a little uncomfortable. By the way, same to me. They make me uncomfortable. They're supposed to Eastern vloggers. It's all about making you feel not welcome. I feel like it's uncomfortable.

It's just harder. They're more hardcore. Well, also this whole thing about showing emotion is bad. See, yeah, it's weak. It's weakness. Overly emotional thing can be overwhelming. Like over the emotional people and you're like, cool. But the one thing that's nice is you always know where someone's standing.

You know what I mean? Like you're not guessing when you read someone. Yeah. So like with what's common among like Latin people is like, you know, when they're upset, you know, when they're happy, you know, when they like something, you know, when they're excited. Yeah. And then that's this coldness thing where you go, like, does the person

not like me or does the person upset? And they're like, no, that's just normal. But that's, that takes a lot of getting used to because they're not giving you a clear signal. Yeah. See, I actually, I view it the opposite because in Latin culture, sometimes they're so polite that they don't tell you, like for me, I have to be hit over the head because I grew up that way.

They just tell you, like, you're a fucking piece of shit. And you, that's how you communicate. I'm actually used to a more over the head form of communication. Yeah. Like we were talking today, like our nanny is very Latin and didn't like, she doesn't come out sometimes. We have to kind of see, she can't hide it. See, that's right.

Right. Right. 00:09:45,240 --> 00:09:49,880 She won't hide the feeling is that she'll, she's very, she'll satisfy you, but she will not 100% hide how she feels. So if you go, if you go, do you mind staying later today? She'll go, sure. It's so obvious at that point that she doesn't want to.

So you go, do you have plans after? Well, I love her. You're like, oh, okay. So then do that. Don't worry. Like I can adjust my thing. You don't have to stay late. Okay.

She's so sweet, but that's always, she wouldn't go like, no, I have something to do. Yeah. And in my family, it would be go fuck yourself. I have to do something that you're, you're intruding in my life. Yeah. You're ruining my life. Uh, she's so sweet.

We have a housekeeper that we've had for years too. She's from, she's Cuban. And last week she was here cleaning and there's been an evolution in her phone game. Yeah. Like at first it was like, occasionally she'd be on her phone cleaning the house, like taking calls, what you get? Cause you're like, oh yeah, you're, you're doing like busy, you don't, you don't need to think a whole, you know, it's, it's busy work, essentially.

Like you have to think, but not, it's not focused. And then it evolved to like the Bluetooth, right? Like, was there a, oh no, no, no, should you use the earpiece? It's the earpiece. I didn't evolve to, like if I walked in the room, I'd never say anything. If I walked in the room, which was on the phone, I would hear her in Spanish. I would say something like, Oh, I got to go. And when the implication was the, you know, the, my employee,

I'll have phase here. Right. So I'm going to end this nonsense right now. Right. Now, if I walk in the room and she's on the phone, she'll be like, yeah. Anyway, and like talk louder, like this guy is fucking here. But anyway, so later on, if you guys want to get together and like, yeah, completely disregarding the, I find it highly amusing.

So anyway, I've no, actually I had no problem. She does a great job. It doesn't interfere with her work. She gets to talk to her friends. Why not? But now it's evolved to, she just puts them on speaker phone and then puts the phone on the counter. So now we hear both sides of the conversation in Spanish, which is fine too.

It is funny though, because you'll be like, wait, who's talking? Oh, it's, it's our cleaning lady. She's on the phone with somebody again. And she's always like, I know that was always her. Was I just like, I know, I know, why she did this. She say that a lot. Oh yeah. But I'm, they have a really interesting accent Cubans.

I like how she speaks Spanish. It's cool. I heard her one time. Um, if you hear her speak Spanish, you hear, um, Nanny speaks Spanish and you hear my mom speaks Spanish and you read, I have them say specific sentences. You will hear it just like you're hearing an American, uh, Brit and like a Scottish person. That's crazy.

It's all dialect, totally different, but they understand each other. I understand it's the same language, but their accents and their slang is 100% different. Right. Yeah. Just like America, just like, just like the gaze, just like the gaze. Um, I was going to say, no, I don't remember. Thanks.

Well, how about this? We have kind of a celebratory thing going on right now. You shot your first special. I know I'm so exhausted and I'm so happy and I'm so grateful. We didn't tell anybody, but you came. I came up there and you opened for me. I know that was so fun and it was the best surprise ever to the audience and they freaked out and people really seem to enjoy that the genes were one pair.

And I'm so glad you came with me, Jean. I'm so thankful cause I was such, I mean, I was always planning on going for months and you know, I was just going to be your, your support and you know, just make sure everything's going well and you have what you need. And then a few weeks ago you were just like, I think it was you. You said, like, was you open? And I was like, yeah, of course, it's never occurred to me to like to, you know, offer it or anything, but they ended up being very, really fun.

It was super fun. And I'm so glad you were there. Just that I didn't freak out day of, like I, I didn't freak out. I freaked out three months ago. You know, when you know, like, oh shit, there's a, there's a date now. Like there's a fucking thing. And then day of, I could sleep the night before I was fine, but then I felt myself around two PM getting in here and makeup.

That's when like the terror started to kick in. I was glad you were there just to have somebody to talk to that spoke my language. You know, I also got like such an interesting perspective on the shooting day. Because it was the first time that I was really close to someone, but I'm not the one doing it where you're seeing the day evolve, but you don't feel the pressure or the anxiety of doing the show. The pressure on you. It's all for you.

And that's the part I, and then I understand why the managers and the producers are like, this is great. Just do your thing. Because that's exactly what it felt like. Yeah, big deal. Just when we walked over there, I was like, beautiful day, then you looks great. Just do your fucking show. What's your problem?

Yeah, it's not that big of a deal. Yeah. What's your pronoun? What's your problem? Right. Pick your pronoun, get out there and be poly and buy. And the thing is, it really isn't. And at the end of the day, cause we've done it for so many years.

And you once, once I got up there, it was like, oh, this is my second home. But, but the obvious, it's, it's a little overwhelming when you walk in and there's this whole thing and there's all for you. It's all for you. There's many cameras. There's screens. There's producers. There's people talking to you, 30 person crew.

And yeah, yeah, this is not a, this is not your friend being like, hey, are you free this afternoon to do this thing? Yeah. It's a lot of money and a lot of people's livelihoods. Essentially. But here's the thing that's so crazy that the reason that there is scary and the reason why you'll always have some form of anxiety on a shoot day is you just never know how it's going to go.

Yeah. And then afterwards, like, luckily for you, I can tell you that, like, man, it's got to feel good because it went so well. It was amazing. And you know, and you know, it's captured, you know, it's like, yeah. When you shoot these things, you, you could be on tour. I'll tell you, the first one I did was in Minneapolis. I'm sorry, where?

Minneapolis. Okay. And I know people will say, you know, oh, are you trying to be dramatic? I promise you this of the hundred and fifty shows leading up to that taping in Minneapolis, that was the worst show of the hundred and fifty. What are you talking about? Your taping day was the worst show of this, of all the shows leading up to it. No.

Yeah. I swear to God, the audience was just shit. Yes. God damn it. Yes. It was terrible. And this is completely normal. Yes.

Oh my God, which ended up being like the best special that everyone loves. And but that's so funny. The other lesson for that for me was that was because it was well received by some people, you know, at home, you realize that even with what I experienced, ultimately you're performing for the people at home. Yes, it's television. There were jokes that fell so flat that I was used to getting such a big laugh on. There was, it was just like, it was one of those things where you're like, you

know, I got, you know, I was like, well, this is just what it is. It is. Yeah. But, but you have a South Florida man, killing his girlfriend continued today. And so far, no ruling on if he'll be able to show his penis. I'm kind of glad that we got to see that. Carlos Suarez. He's been following this.

Carlos Suarez. That's a Latin name. Yeah. But I wanted to say that ultimately, you know, you have the, the, the best part of it, which is that people are going to enjoy it at home, but people in the audience loved it. Yeah. It was, it was fine.

It was really, it was a really, I was, I was really, here's thing, it took me 14 years to get here. Amazing. And I'm kind of glad it took that long because I think had I done this, we were just talking about this this morning, had I done this even five years ago, three years ago, I would have been shitting in my pants. So I think it took like, it took, it took longer and I'm glad it did. I'm thankful for it because it gave me the time to calm the fuck down and just

like enjoy and enjoy the day. I was actually more sad about, about it being over, you know, and you're like, oh, now I don't have that thing to look forward to anymore. Like that's kind of gone. I'll, I'll tell you guys one funny thing that happened during the taping. So, uh, halfway through the first show, you know, they, they get out and they tell you guys, Hey, don't, don't get up and take your phone out because we're taping and it interferes with the cameras, blah, blah, blah.

So halfway through my set and maybe less, a quarter way, I hear some nasty motherfucker got up and was flushing the toilet and you can hear it in the showroom. And I was like, I got a hold for sound. Like, I can't just tell my joke through toilet flushing. And then it ended up being like this crazy moment. And I'm like, who is shitting in the middle of my show? So funny. Flushing and flushing and flushing.

Like it was so perfect for, for your mom's house, essentially for people to be there and someone taking a shit in my show. Like for comedians too. It's also like asshole. There's two ways things can go at a show. Something happens and your instinct can be to get upset. This is ruining the moment. Right.

Right. Or you go and try to make it funny. Roll with that. You rolled with it. Thank you. And it'll be interesting to see whether you keep it in. I don't know if I will. Yeah.

But you'll see it in the, in the line cut and you'll see whether or not you want it in, but it was into experience it from where I was. And to see you keep going with it was really funny. Well, I don't know if you know this. I mean, I don't mean to be talking out of turn here, but I am the queen of improv. Oh yeah. I don't mind you saying it. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. That's really, you were very, your improv skills were really good there. Well, I'm really, I'm really thankful to have you there. On the best part of it seriously was having you there and, and knowing that the mommies were in the audience, supporting me and laughing and that was so special. I think it's always special when it's you, me and the mommies. I just love it.

It was awesome. I really do love it. We really had, it really was a fun, fun night. Yeah, special, very special. My cousin Julie came down, she and her husband live in Washington now. So yeah, it was good to see her too. And you know, yeah, it was special. Very cool.

I look great. I love my outfit. My jeans were high and super tight. Are you going to wear jeans on your next tape? Of course I've always worn jeans. I know I wear jeans under my, under the dress that I wore. Do you want to go back to this news thing? I would love to go back to this news thing.

So obviously you just, you heard the clip of the jury or the heaven decide whether the defendant can show his penis to the jury. Yeah, the associate medical examiner of Broward County took to the stand about an hour ago and said that in all his years of work, he has never had a single case where someone choked to death as a result of performing oral sex. So now his testimony goes to the heart of the defense's case that Richard Patterson did not kill his girlfriend back in 2015. Prosecutors alleged that the 65 year old told her to death, but he claims

that she choked on his penis. The Emmy told jurors a penis would have to be large, far enough down a person's throat to block that person from breathing through their nose and mouth. He also said that it would take two to three minutes for a person to die as a result of a lack of oxygen so that it would have been clear that person, this woman in particular, he wants to show the jury is penis. So you can be like, see how you can choke on this? You know, here's the medical examiner.

And if she cannot breathe, she's usually startle. It's my dad. Biting or to do something. Yeah, it's my tribe. They went this blocking of the airway, try to open this airway. It's normal reaction of any person. So he's saying she should be flailing and biting and, you know, flipping out because she can't breathe.

Right. I mean, here's the thing. As someone that has done this before. Done what? Nothing. I kissed Peepie's before. Yeah. So many before you.

That you kind of know when you can't breathe. So why wouldn't you just put your mouth, get your mouth away from it? So he must have choked her. He was probably pushing her head down. What they're saying. Lake my ass. Yeah. Lake my ass.

Yeah. Lake my ass. It's my friend Rocco. Yep. All right. Now the defense has asked a judge whether Patterson can show jurors his penis as part of their case. Cool.

She has not ruled on whether that will be allowed to take place. Yeah. A medical examiner also told jurors that he could not rule on a matter of death because the body of 60 year old Francisca Marquines was in such bad shape when it was found inside her Morgate home. Well, interesting. So that means what though, that it sat around for a long time. In bad shape.

I don't know. She's hot though, right? The judge there. Now for our listeners, could you describe the defendant? I mean, they don't know. They're, they're. Yeah. He's a old ass dad.

I mean, he's got red skin. All white hair, white hair like Santa without a beard. Yeah. I mean, you wouldn't even expect that this guy has a dick anymore. Yeah. No, no, no. Or that it gets hard. That it gets big enough to choke people.

Yeah. I doubt that. He's real old. It's similar to the premise of Todd Shaw, aka two short song blowjob Betty. Right. In which he bust a nut and killed a bitch. But that's from the nut. I know that's from there's a distinction obviously, but it is similar in the premise

where they both, their dicks both were involved in murder. That's interesting. What a neat point. I wish you would bring that up to the judge. Yep. The medical examiner is still on the stand and the defense says that. Spelled that wrong. Other clients did not call 911 the night that he fars.

All of this happened because he was embarrassed about the whole thing. So that's what you call. You want to know something? What? Not guilty. He was found not guilty. Seriously? Yeah.

Not guilty. I think he choked her. I did. I did too on accident with a super big peepee. How could you choke yourself on someone's dick? That's stupid. He killed her. They should rethink that shit.

He was acquitted. What the fuck? How old is this guy? He was 65 at the time. So now he's 67. Well, he nasty as hell. You're so nasty with your big old dick. Your big old stinky dick.

You know, I found out I finally pulled from the episode my parents were on. Yeah. I lied a bit with Tyler. Yeah. I lied a bit with Tyler. I'd go retarded. I'd go retarded. I'd go retarded.

I lied a bit with Tyler. That's interesting. And are you picked retarded? Yeah, he sure is. Everyone. Yeah. I didn't realize how popular a choice that would be. Personally, I would take the sexual abuse from my granddad.

Yeah. Because then you could just go to therapy and deal with that. But you can't treat retarded. You can't really treat it. But some people really hate the other option, I guess. Yes. I mean, for my dad, it was just Asian food. All right.

That's how much, I mean, think about how much you have to eat that. Yeah. That's just like, I love Korean barbecue and I love sushi. Yeah. I can't even imagine. I mean, obviously, I would just be like, Asian food forever, of course. Yeah. All day, every day.

I love Asian. That's one of my favorite cuisines of the world. What could you eat every day? I know. Steak. I do love meat. Yeah. And asparagus.

Yeah. I could eat that a lot. You had sushi the other day and it gave you diarrhea instead. I don't learn. I don't think no more. No. You just keep eating it. The bear keeps eating it and shitting it.

I don't know. I just, I just, I just. You know, it was fun. That's why I get my name snake for a boy. Because I ain't afraid of them. I'm afraid of them. You know, it was so funny yesterday. We were, we flew home on Virgin.

Yeah. And our, our fried attendant, her name was Debbie. Yeah. And it was so stupid. We were like, oh, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm so stupid. We were like, you're, we're making fun of her. Yeah.

She was really nice though. She was nice. What did you say? First, by the way, the driver to the airport was like, and you're flying Virginia Airlines. Yeah, Virginia. I go Virginia. I go Virgin. He goes, oh, okay.

Like, don't you do this drive all the time to the airport? Who's flying Virginia air weirdo? He cleared, it wasn't like a little slip up. He was Virginia air today. No, that's not even a thing, bro. That many deaf people fly to Virginia from here. So weird. Yeah.

And I was like, hey, you ever see that movie Debbie does Dallas? And she goes, no, I go, you know, it's about, she does it. She does everybody. Are you going to do everybody on the plane? And she was like, yeah, I think so. I go, where are you going to start in front of their back? I got to start at the back, I guess. That's quite a job.

Yeah. Could you imagine if that was your job? She apologized when we landed. She goes, I'm sorry. I didn't get to do everybody. I was trying to do everyone, but I couldn't. That's a tear. Okay.

So what if that's your job? Maybe that's a good, would you rather? That'd be nasty at all. It'd be nasty. It's all, but it really is all mental. It's can you remove yourself? Yeah. Yeah.

It's can you remove yourself from the horror of doing all these people? Or can you like separate yourself? Like you're, you know, think of yourself like a kidnap victim or something. And would you rather be Debbie, the flat attendant who has to do the entire plane or suck on that old guy's wiener? Wait and potentially die. Or can I back off if I'm choking? No, the potential for death is there, but you got to just suck it once versus.

Here's the thing. But people are saying out there, I know they're going, dude, obviously be her. You don't have to suck that guy's dick. But on the plane, there might be, there's 80 guys. You have to say 80 dicks. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. For sure.

I would like that old guy's dick to overdoing the whole plane. You know how many nasty, like there are so ugly people on that plane yesterday. He might kill you. He might kill you. But it was ding dong. And I don't buy that. I would know when I was choking and then I'd back up. She probably did too.

And he probably held on and that's how she died. He's too old. Fuck him. Yeah. Could you imagine blowing just a random plane of people? You might have gross people on airplanes. There was fat ones, skinny ones, greasy ones. Smelling ones.

I was on a plane last week where this kid was taking a shit in first class. We reveal later it was a teenage boy. And anyway, the guy was in there for 20 minutes. The flight attendant was knocking on the door. Finally, he gets out. It's a teenage Asian kid. He's fat. Take a big shit.

And it stinks so bad that the guy in front of me refused to go in and take a piss. I was like, you got it, Kenny. And then this hippie guy, this hippie kid pushed his way in front of me and I let him go in. And he's like, what's going on? Why is everybody standing around? I'm like, you'll find out. Why are you letting me go? You'll find out.

And then he's like, I see why now. It smelled terrible. It smelled horrendous. One time I got on a plane and a dude shit and he came out. It was stuck to the inside of the toilet. So I hit flush and the water just went over it. And it smelled so bad. And I told the flight attendant, she was like, oh, I got something.

And she just had a purse, a spray. And her person just did like 20 sprays in there. I was like, yeah, it's not going to help. Yeah. It's just, it's just putting perfume on that shit is all you're doing. You know, that's not good. So gnarly. Yeah.

Here we go. Email. You two talk about hair removal between the cheeks and have discussed waxing. I'm here to tell you a much easier and less invasive method to remove all that brown collecting fur. Nair. Yes. Good old fashioned.

No. Glass that shit on up in your cheeks. No. While minding the more sensitive skin that is the ball sacro vulva. Within a couple of minutes, wipe it off with a washcloth in the shower. It gets into every book and brown cranny and wipes away the hair without having to be humiliated by having an actual person wax your asshole. I have much experience with this and no bad reactions.

I hope this has provided you with a much needed solution to main mother Tina's version, aka excuse to not devouring your asshole, Tommy. Love you both and Christina is the life champ. Hey, I like that life champ. That's Caroline. That's a lady right there. Thanks Caroline. Now Caroline, I am, I've used Nair on my legs and it is a very volatile chemical substance.

Yeah. It smells really bad and strong. So she's right. You got to be real careful about it touching your, your kibbles and bits. So if you put on your asshole, I mean, I don't know how she does it. She must have a lot of experience because that, that is tricky. I'll try it. It really will burn.

You got to be careful. It's going to burn. If you get it on your tender, your tender zones. Yeah. All right. Yeah. It's real. Just hold them up for a little bit.

How long do you leave it on for? A couple minutes. Yeah. It's quit and Nair like burns the hair off. That's, I think how it works. It's like a chemical burn. I'm going to try it. It's pretty gnarly.

You're going to get your teeth whiten before you do your stuff. People keep telling me online. They're commenting on how yellow your teeth are. Yeah. They're like, you got to get your teeth whiten. You do. Especially if you're going to shoot something. Here we go.

Oh yeah. This guy, when he worked at ball fart, they made us do a chant in our meetings. Oh my God. We had those last week and they were just. Ball fart or wall fart? Wall fart. Yeah. Cause uh.

God. Shabuya. Shabuya. Shabuya was so horrible that I think about it. Yeah. Every now and then I'll be like in our closet and I'll think about those poor people. Oh God. Oh my God.

Follow me. So bad. We are. We are. Walmart. Oh my Christ. We are. We are.

Walmart. We are. We are. Walmart. We are. We are. Walmart. We are.

Walmart. We are. We are. We are. So demeaning. I know, especially for like, you know, it's not a job that you love. No, nobody's like a career Walmart employee. It's a stepping stone place.

He said that when they work, I mean it's a sales level, not in management stuff. Oh, this took place in the middle of the store in front of customers. I went like this. Give me a W. W. Give me an A. A. Give me an L.

L. And he said squiggly. We had to go up and down shaking our butts. Give me an M. M. Give me an A. Give me an R. R.

Give me a T. T. What's that spell? Walmart. I can't hear you. Walmart. What do we want? Save people money.

Save people money. How do we do it? So they can live better. Why do we? Sorry. So money, save money, live better. Woo. Oh my God.

Oh my God. That was my life for two years. Oh my God. But it did have more personality than mommy Tina. Thanks, Jean. That's rude as shit. Travis. Well, Travis, I liked you until that last line.

Yeah. That's it. Okay. That was a good morning. That is so depressing. That's depressing. Oh my God. I would be broke, broken spirited for sure.

Okay. So then there, but then there's this other, I've had this job before where you call people and you solicit them to buy tickets to things or to take surveys. So would I rather do the sales pitch or I'd go retarded. Yeah. Okay. No, it's Walmart and you do that. Or you have to go door to door and get people to like save the whales or donate money to

the children, but you're going door to door. I would rather do that. And you have to do the pitch of like, hi ma'am, can I speak to you for just five minutes? Do you have a moment? I know it's tons of rejection and tons and yeah, it's awful. I can't do so hard. The cheering. The cheering.

Crazy. I'd rather do the cheering. Honestly. It's so hard to go door to door and get rejected. I mean, I've done, I've done the call center stuff. That shit is hard. No way, man. Hi ma'am.

Can I just take five minutes of your time doing a survey on eggs? Yeah. Did you know that eggs have lower cholesterol than you really think that would, right? Yeah. The egg survey was my first job when I was 14. Horrible, horrible. Jesus. But the fucking, you know what it is?

I can't feign, I can't feign team spirit. That's the soul crushing part is like that you really give a shit about Walmart. I know. Of course. That's the worst part. They can't think that you do. So the top, top brass here are multi-billionaires. Am I right?

Right. W. Right. How much am I making? 12 an hour. All right. Yeah. Do I get healthcare?

No. Oh, just the CEOs? Oh, okay. Sweet, man. No. Terrible. This does sound fun. Oh my God.

Shit, boo. You're a fat county again, mate. Bloody disgraceful, I tell ya. Is that for Bart? Yeah. Somebody sent it in. You know. You're a fat county again, mate.

Bloody disgraceful, I tell ya. The word on the street and I'm not, I don't know if this is true, so I don't want to talk about a court at a turn, whatever, but word on the street is that he's gained his weight back. Is that, is that accurate? It's pretty bad. Yeah. I mean, that's everyone I meet when I'm doing stand-ups, they're like Bert's fat again.

Every time I go to the store, they're like, he was here last night and they're like, he's a whale. Wow. Yeah. He's super enormous. He did just post a really funny video. Did you see it? I saw the Hulk Hogan.

With Hulk Hogan. He got Hulk Hogan in it. I love Hulk Hogan. Yeah, it was really funny. Didn't the Hulk's wife leave him for like one of their daughter's friends, like a 20-year-old boy? It's a crazy story. Oh my God.

How would you murder me if I did that? Because they were together for a long time. Hulk and the Linda, I think. And obviously when I hear the stories, it just sounds more confusing than enraging. I'm like, wait, what? What happened? I think I'd be like, what are you doing? Why?

Why are you ruining our family? I don't understand. I don't know. I think that would break me. Like if we have a family together, we have like our kids are grown and then you're like, I'm just going out with one of your, one of our daughter's friends. Yeah. I hope you're okay with that.

Like no. That would make me kill myself. Our son's in college and he brings like people to hang out and then I just marry one of them. Like I'm marrying his friend, Carrie. She's my girlfriend now. She's my wife. That's so horrible. She's a sophomore.

She's a lot of things she wants to do with her life. What do you think? Why does that marriage like? Why does that have to, could you imagine right now, and you've talked to 20 year olds and no offense to any 20 year olds. I'm not, I just think that 40 is significantly different than 20. You're just in a different place. I'm not shitting on 20 year olds by any means.

But what do you, what do you think that's like? I mean, oh, it's got to be torture. I can't, I don't know. Even nothing in common with it. They're essentially children. There's other things leading up to the person doing that though. It's not, it's not that they're like, I'm just so compelled by you. There's, there's problems and things not, and then you end up there.

Yeah. I don't know. That's crazy. You'd like it though. Why would I like it? Marrying, you probably marry a Dalmatian after me, after me with all these thoughts, words, blah, blah, blah, blah, talking. Yeah.

I mean, you just want some quiet after me. Yeah. Yeah. Like you get like a 20 year old Dalmatian easy. So that's what's next. That's what you're saying. Yeah. Yeah.

Now? Not now. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, you're right. You're right.

Yeah. And then I'll get like five more Brussels Crafan and just like be alone. And we'll, no, we'll live on the same compound. We'll do one of those things. I wouldn't mind. Yeah. It'll be fine. We have this big, it's eight acres.

You know, the thing is that Christina and Carrie are friends. Okay. That's such the 20 year old new wife name, Carrie. We made it so that the estate is appropriately adjusted. And, you know, Christina's taken care of it. Carrie will also get to go to school eventually. You have a college fund for your new wife. Yeah.

For my new wife. She's like, when she's ready to go to school, she'll go. She's a yoga instructor. That's always who they marry. Yeah. She teach yoga. Here we go. How do you know you're gay if you're blind?

Love the show. I wanted to reach out to you and thinking about the blind and wiping. It's interesting. I wanted to ask the follow up that's been driving me crazy. If you're blind and can see people's and see people or faces or bias types, only feel you can't see Jesus. No one writes the fucking word, right? How do you know if you're gay or straight?

If you're blind, how would you determine your sexual orientation? Gosh, thought provoking. How much I needed the answer to this question. Let me know what you think. So silly. But these are all things people really wonder about. Of course. You know, this show is so important.

We're really doing important work here. Nobody asked these questions. I really applaud him for asking it. I do too. I never thought of it. Silly as it is. I applaud you. That's really silly.

But he's right. So like, let's say you don't. I mean, it's a very cisgender privileged question to ask. Obviously the question isn't like, you can't ask like, what do you prefer? Blondes or brunettes? Right. I don't know. You can't even ask what your pronoun is because you don't know what the difference

who you're looking at. Yeah. It's a great question. How do you know that's such a good point? I mean, I guess when they have sexual encounters and they touch a vag and they're like, that's gross. Because you're talking to people and you're, you know, people are sitting on your lap and you're hugging people.

And you're like, yeah. Who do you get a boner with when you hug them? There you go. Yeah. That's true. Do you like those dirty pillows smashed against you or not? Yeah. Hmm.

Very good question. But we didn't get any closure on the wiping question. You just know. That's what I heard. They're like, you just know, man. You just know. There you go. No, you use your hand to wipe and then you smell your hand.

Like, why would you just smell the paper? Why do you? Why did you go to your hand? Because this, this, you wouldn't understand. This is like some inside. You don't know about it, but I talked to some friends and that's what it is. You're cute. It's true.

Look, I love you. Here's another email. It's official. Tina is not the water. After episode 400 has been declared. So stupid. Not only is Tom the water champ, but due to mommy Tina's cowardice of declining the water challenge.

Oh God. I believe that Tom also needs to be declared personality champ as well. You can tell that once the challenge was suggested by Maria, Tina was legitimately upset, proceeded to insult Tom, not to mention the disrespectful comments about Tom's anus in the opening minutes of the episode, all of which are very negative personality traits. I know I certainly wouldn't want to hang out with Christina after what was said in episode 400. I do however believe in second chances, nor for mommy Tina to be a personality water

champion contender. I'm so called black kiss should be awarded to Tom and the trip to Tahiti in exchange for a black kiss should be avoided unless the black kiss is upgraded to a rusty trombone. Oh my God. P.S. user submissions of asrips in order to get the king out of hiding. I know you guys have tried to contact him, but haven't had much luck. I believe the only way to make him return is to instigate a fart war.

God bless Kyle. Can I tell you this? I don't know about farting and submitting that. I have to tell you something. King asripper, who as many of you know is a staple of the show, I like him so much and he rejects us. I love him. He's an amazing guy.

Great talent. So a lot of you know him as a farter and a burper. I think to, uh, I don't want to just paint, put him in that box, right? You know, a big thing that he also has done that we've highlighted, but maybe not as much is he's also a glutton, right? And he likes to overeat and gain weight. You're not going to believe what he looks like now. Really?

Really put on some weight. Stop it. He's been doing, he hasn't been putting out as many fart videos, but he's been putting out the stuff in himself videos. Well, he's always evolving as an artist. We've never been able to just make him do, he's not a one-trick pony. But yeah, but you remember how he had like the little hushies. I do.

Like the little belly. And he was like, oh, I'm having doughnuts. Yes. Okay. It's been a while. You got to see him. Oh no. He's going to fuck it half and then I'm going to smash all this goddamn McDonald's.

Is that a prosthetic belly? Big Macs. Oh my God. Triple cheeseburgers and making nuggets, fries, fish and light sandwiches. Look at his face. Look, look. Stop it. You'll get some goddamn chili dogs.

Dude. Oh. By the way, the mission accomplished. Yeah. He's fat as fuck now. Yeah, you really did it, man. Now, it's also hard fat. It looks hard.

It's hard, but I mean, he's, I would say he's gained, from the early days, this has got to be 60, 80 pounds. I mean, this is real weight. Real weight, man. What's going on with it? I don't know. Look at that thing. Oh my God.

He looks pregnant. Eight months pregnant. You can see his belly at the bottom. It's real. It's not a pillow. Oh my God, dude. I don't like it. Look at that.

I don't like it. There we go. Yeah. Back to basics, King. Get back to the fart vids. Look. The farts are what we live for, but I got to say, I know how much you wanted this, so I just want to congratulate him.

That's really cool, man. Also, I wanted to point something out. Yeah. I feel like there's a new contest evolving between the two of us. Yeah. Firstly, might I address that previous gentleman's email about me not wanting to compete in said water consumption contest? Hey, I don't need to compete because I know I am the water champ.

You said that that day. I mean, it's very silly. Yeah, but I don't need to. It's what's known as a cop out. It's not a cop out. You're a showboater. You're all when the lights are on and the cameras are rolling, you're, oh, I'm hydrating. First of all, where's your water right now, Tom?

No, no, no. Really? Where is it? Go ahead. It's not here. Why is that? Because I'm too hydrated. Negative.

You're drinking coffee and that's negative water. Everyone knows that. Because I need to. What am I drinking? Oh, look, I have a Fiji water right here and this is also loaded with minerals and we learned from our water sommelier. But see the thing is I had four of those before the show. So now I'm offsetting.

And that's a fucking lie, bro. Why are you lying? You never even had water. But you lie. You lie to them all the time. The mommies don't even know how much you lie. Not participating. Oh my God.

It's a good point because you lie. Yeah. It's like somebody saying, I'm better at you in basketball. Let's play and you go. I already know I'm better. So I'm not going to play. I'm the goddess of water consumption. That's what I'm saying.

Anybody that see me perform live during my special even, I had the wherewithal to drink bottles of water. I mean, I'm just that dedicated. I don't need. Secondly, I feel like there's a new game in town. And I think I've noticed over the years, I've known you for 12 years. That's how long we've been together. That generally speaking, I'm more observant than you.

And I notice things and details and I read more. I'm generally more observant and I would say that I'm the observation champ. Thank you. Okay. Nice. My reply to that would be. And this is like, I would say this on a witness stand, you are amongst the least observant people I've ever met.

Not true. How so? How so? Go ahead. I mean, everything goes over your head. Like what? You don't remember who was there. That's a memory champ.

That's a memory champ. That's not. Do you think memories involve with observations? No. I'm saying that in a room of things, I know it's different immediately. Like I walk into my shrink's office every week and I can, I was that a new book on the shelf? Well, yes it is.

You're very observant. Yeah. I am. Sure. Okay. Well. I notice everything. Is your mother come with a different hairstyle?

Oh my gosh. Look at you. I think. You don't notice anything. I think the idea that you're actually worked up about this and you can tell how little I am because like, it's like you saying you're stronger than me. I'm like, okay. So I think it's, it's cute that you'll.

Cute. Yeah. It's cute. No. You think this and. Oh my gosh. I'm still observant. Yeah.

No. Yeah. My new shed. No. You don't. No, you don't. Not only do you, you never do. That's 100% me.

You should have the listeners weigh in on that. You are not only not observant. I would say you're, you're oblivious, you're obtuse, you're dense. That's a big word. Yeah. You're, you're just, you're not aware. You're not present. I'm not aware of stuff.

You're, you're. That's not true. Present person. This is not about presence. This is observant. Noticing things, putting things together, making connections. No, this is good. I'm very good at that.

All right. You're just not very observant. Yeah. I think it would go you, then Alice, then me. That would be the order. Jesus. It's absolutely. I notice things about Alice all the time.

Okay. Now, the one thing I can't do, and you've brought this up before, is sometimes I can't read people emotionally. That's a big part of observations. Right. But that's because of my upbringing, because I was raised by a mentally ill person and I don't always identify feelings properly, but I'm in therapy for it. I'm with you all the time and you're, and I'll say something, you're like, I didn't

notice that. And I'm like, yeah. And then you go, really? Because I can't tell feelings. And I've told, but that's because I'm in therapy for that. That's part of being the observation champ. I think that I notice. You don't think that's a fraction of the observation champ's message?

Here's what I'm good at in observation world. No, I'm serious. I can listen to somebody talk and then I go, oh, I know what their issues are. God had a pair of shoes on that she didn't. Negative. That's it. If we have dinner with somebody and I'll be like, did you notice how he spoke to her, his wife this way?

And that happened, that dynamic, and you'd be like, oh, yeah, no, I'm like, because you're not observant. That's not true. All the time I'll be like, oh my gosh, did you know your child to thing is because of this and that I can break down. Why am I lying? While you might be able to say that you never say, did you notice that he talked to her? And then I go, no, I didn't know.

I always say, yeah, of course I did. And this, this, and that. So you're trying to destroy that. But I bring it up first because I'm the observation champ. I bring it up. You just agree with me. You're stronger too, I remember that. I'm definitely not stronger.

That I will give you. I don't have a full beard and I am not strong. You're not. But my vision and hearing is much better than yours as well. And my teeth are wider. So your sister, I have perfect teeth and perfect vision. The rea would give you. The vision is recent.

I used to have the sharpest vision in California. Oh, that's how I have this deteriorated. How bad is it now? Grandpa cataracts. Yeah, cataract. It's bad now. Really? No, it's not bad.

But it's, I mean, I prefer to wear the glasses when I'm reading, when I'm looking at mostly anything. Yeah. Your dad glasses. Yeah. Everything is sharper. Sharper and clear. Your blue blockers.

You got those on. Here's a review. What is this on iTunes? The Hey Hitler's thing. We can't seem to shake as a meme on this show. So many people yelling at a show. And I had to talk about it when I opened for you. Well, that's right.

We made a list of things people were not allowed to do. And number one was don't shout, Hey Hitler, it'll interfere with the recording. This is Hey Hitler's. This is a review on iTunes, which by the way, of course, I encourage anyone that listens to the show, give us a five star, well-written jeans, tastic review. Only a five star. Why, why go anything less? Hey Hitler's, you got to get your life and listen to this podcast from high and tight

jeans, dad boners, lots of stantima and glass and they cover lots of ground like burnt Chrysler's fat ass. The podcasting world is the belt on the media world. And this podcast is the buckle. Yes. That was a powerful review. That is by Nolan from Winnipeg and a very observant review. And my dad, I knew this was Canadian because it says Rogers is a screen grab of the Rogers

review that he sent in Rogers Rogers cellular. I know that that's because they're in Canada and I'm observant. I've been in Canada. No, I knew that. I knew that. I knew that. Yes, I did. You're Canadian.

You didn't know that I was born in Windsor on terrible. Right. You're Canadian. That's my fucking point. Yes. And I knew, I knew Rogers. I did. It just took me a second.

Gosh. Very soon we'll be joined by the great Wheeler Walker, Jr., the country music singer. You're a huge fan. Performer. I really like his stuff. I've really enjoyed it for a while. Now a lot of people think you two are the same person. I've gotten dozens of tweets, maybe hundreds about, hey, I've never seen you two in the

same room at the same time, blah, blah, blah. It's so funny because I get the same one with Claudia Schiffer. People are like, oh my God. And then you're like, it's not me. It's not me, guys. Yeah. That was one of my early crushes. Shorter than me.

Yeah. She's so pretty. I haven't seen her in a while. What made you think of her? I don't fucking know. Actually, I was thinking of Heidi Klum, but she has those little rabbit teeth. She's got those real feminine front two rabbit teeth. That's how I wanted my veneers to look, a little more rabbit-y, but he did it already

on these. My two college roommates who you knew, you know. Yeah. We had a poster of her somewhere in our house, I think in the kitchen, of Heidi. Of Heidi Klum? Yeah. In college. She's still rocking, man.

She looks great. Yeah. She looks amazing. She looks amazing. Those Germans. Let's see here. Claudia Schiffer. Claudia.

Heidi Klum. Let's see. Why do they lose crowds age so well? I don't know. Here she is, I think. This set, I tried to find a recent photo. Yeah. She looks good.

Yeah. How old is she? Probably 50 by now. Yeah. Oh, that's our guy. Oh, that's him. Press pause, Dean. Press pause, mom.

Good as well. Hey, hey, hey, hey. We just jumped back in here. We stopped. Now we're rolling again. As promised, the great country music, the legend is growing, Wheeler Walker, Jr. Thank you for coming. Wow.

Thank you for being here. Thank you guys so much for having me. The podcast up till now has been fantastic. I loved every second of it. It's actually, there's a lot of reasons we wanted to have you here. One of them, as we were discussing a moment ago, is I keep getting tweets that say, we've never seen you and Wheeler Walker in the room at the same time. Yeah, I wanted to put that.

And people, I've seen a lot of people Photoshop your head onto mine on the album cover. Oh my goodness. Yeah, I've seen that too. Which is, by the way, if we were the same guy, you wouldn't need to photo. It would just be you. Right. That's a good point. I've heard that you're, that I'm you.

I've heard that Zach you. I've heard that Brent Hoffman to you. I've heard all these different guys. Yeah. Everyone thinks I'm some guy, but I like to, everyone they think I am, I like to get, you know, be on their podcast. Here we are talking. By the way, doing wouldn't take too much special effects to, to have you talking to yourself

right now. Right. And you know what they're going to point out now is that we're on different cameras. Exactly. We're not the same fucking. Let's talk. Let's talk. Let's talk over each other.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's like, I mean, you got to talk, talk while I'm talking. All right. Here we go. It's different fucking guys. But then they're going to say you just lay it out.

By the way, that's again, the easiest thing to do. You guys do have really similar beard and color patterns as well. Our length is pretty similar right now. Yeah. By the way, you're looking good. Thanks buddy. The, the, uh, I did Brett's pod, had a blast with Brett, but I love this whole Tom and Oh, and burnt Chrysler thing.

Yeah. I said Brett, um, the burnt thing is really cool because I love how you guys are really like, it's real. And you guys, it's real. And it's also healthy. It's like, yeah, we lost a lot of weight. And I mean, obviously I lost more, but yeah. Obviously you look, does he look fatter to you?

You just saw him recently. You said burnt burnt. She's saying how fat does he look burnt? Yeah. Um, I think, well, I didn't really, I didn't size them up too much before, but I just walking and seeing you, I would say you're like a healthy healthy. Yeah. I mean, I would have, if you'd said you were big before, I wouldn't know.

Like to me, you just look like a kind of a skinny right. And how fat, I mean, but in relation to Tom, how much bigger does burnt look than Tom? Well, I don't want to get myself in trouble, but I am here right now. So I would say, I would say you look thinner. You definitely, it's not even close to me. I think, I think he's just got a bigger. You're a fat kind of game, Mike. Bloody disgraceful, I tell ya.

One of the things I love about this is you do those, you know, I love that. Like the stern stuff, like the old radio stuff. Drops. Yeah. Drops. It's fun. But yeah, he, I think he's got maybe a bigger frame. Like I feel like he's always going to kind of look like a bigger dude.

Yeah. That Tito's diet that he's on. See, the thing is he tries to fight the Tito's. Tito's is tequila, right? Vodka. So he drinks his vodka, but then he works out and his body perfectly reflects it. He looks like a guy that drinks a lot, but then also runs. Yeah, you can't, you can't.

That's not a, that's a special look. I found this on the road, which is, I mean, you guys get to fly in and you know, stay in hotels and shit. And people don't believe me, but you really can't part, like a traveling musician, you can't party on the road. It just doesn't work. How so? Just because you're always moving? The legends are that, you know, they're just fucking getting ripped every night. Yeah.

It's like, you know, you get, you get drunk. First of all, we're always leaving and going on to the next town. It's like, all my friends, of course, you know, you're getting laid in every town. It's like, I meet a girl. What am I going to do? Take her on the bus and then take her with me to the next city. Right. So what do you do?

I've done that, but yeah. What do you do is you don't, you don't get laid. Yeah. Right. And I've just found out, I've just, and I hate to admit it, it ruins my image, but to, I'm playing with it. I can't play with a dog and talk at the same time. It's cool.

I understand. Sorry. Bitsy. Come on, Bitsy. My problem is I can't have one beer. Right. I'd much rather have no alcohol than one beer. I'd just rather be sober than one beer because one beer, I want a second.

I don't want to say like I'm alcoholic or something, but one beer to me and one shy is just pointless. It's just like a little taste of like the fun you could have. But the problem about being sober is in, you know, like a music club is, you're the only fucking sober dude in the whole place. Yeah. And everyone's looking at you. I'd rather just leave.

I mean, I don't do anything. For me, having a beer isn't a problem. I don't, I like the one that I keep going down with is booze. Like if I have a vodka drink or something, then I want two or three, you know? So I don't even start and I just go, I don't like hanging out late in these loud venues. I'm like an old guy. Yeah. I don't like it.

I'm the same way, which is, you know. But you're the pussy king too. Yeah. How is that? Because you're a persona. I'm not a, no offense. I'm not a huge country fan per se, but we love your videos. I love them because they're so provocative and you're out there.

And you kind of do come across as the pussy king. He is the pussy king. Right. It's been declared. Yeah. I mean that, my thing was, I wanted to kind of mark myself on this new record just like I said before, you know, Elvis was the king and Michael Jackson was the king of pop. Like what am I, you know, there's only one left, right?

Yeah. The pussy king. Once you start saying it, you know, like stern king of all media, you start saying, I just start saying I'm the pussy king. Yeah. And that sticks. Oh, by the way, I, here. Yeah.

Yeah. Let's see what you got. Here's the new record. Wow. Oh, wow. This looks great. And most importantly, digital download inside. Look at the band sticker.

Wow. Band from Walmart, Target and Best Buy. Wow. Which has kind of bummed me out because, you know, our goal was to have the number one best selling country album in the country, but these country fans still fucking buy CDs from like Walmart. Sure. Weird.

The, want to hear something fucked up? Yeah. My album, it's kind of hard to say no after I've phrased it like that, but we had the fifth best selling country album in America last week. That's crazy, man. And congratulations. Thanks, man. But on the Billboard country charts were number 10.

Why is that? Because they do this new fucking thing to keep the Keith Urban's of the world happy that they incorporate like streaming and radio plays in it. They keep that. They lend that in. They like have a weird like algorithm. So like, you know, because to them, and I guess it's true, which is that Keith Urban is more popular than me.

Right. I don't see that, but okay. It's a general thing, but. Well, I don't like Keith Urban. Let's, let's, let's roll through, let's run through this track. Yeah, I like the tracks. They're, they're great. Why don't I do Side A and you do Side B?

Sure, go ahead. Good. Side A of this Wheeler Walker Jr. album. Thank you. Old Wheeler. Uh, Side A has Pussy King fucking around feature in Casey Walker. Next wife. Oh, the next track is Puss in Boots.

Next is finger up my butt. And next is summers in Kentucky. This is great. And then Side B, we have a drunk sluts. Amazing. Ain't got enough dick to go around. True. If my dick is up, why am I down?

Yeah. This is a small town Saturday night pictures on my phone and then poon to round out the album. This is amazing. Fantastic. Yeah. This is great. Oh yeah.

I remember this. You guys need, you need koozies, right? Yeah. Of course. Thank you. I think koozies are koozies. Koozies. Is that what they're called?

You must. Yeah. The first album. I remember. I remember Redneck shit. That was a, that was a good video. Then there's a, yeah. I remember this.

Can't fuck you off my mind. Fuck you bitch. Fucking ass. Fighting fucking and farting. Sit on my face. Which one of you queers going to suck my dick? These are amazing. Better off beating off.

He missed out on this. By the way, I've been getting a lot of shit recently about how homophobic, which I'm starting to get pissed about. I'm like, because the interviewers, you know, we'll do a lot of phone interviews, you know, you know, which one of you queers going to suck my dick, you know. Right. It's like, is that homophobic? I'm like, no, it's homosexual.

Yeah. You're asking them to suck your dick. It's like, I'm the only fucking guy in country music talking about guys blowing me. It's true. Getting so drunk that a doodle. What I'm trying to do is obviously piss off Nashville and, you know, I just really get off on pissing people off. I want to ask you this because I didn't grow up really in the country, but I did for a while

live in Florida and it started to get, you know, it's just part of the culture started to get into it more. And so actually I've been to, I went to a Clint Black concert. I started to hear Hank Williams, Jr. stuff like that was heard of him. Yeah. So I started to hear some of the music. There's a lot of like nice bullshit, especially in the country culture, and you're one of the guys who's actually being like a little more like, like it's not all fucking hugs

and kisses, man. Like you're kind of talking. Talk some shit. Yeah, you're talking some shit. That was kind of the point. And what used to piss me off is I, because I know a lot of these guys and then they'll press cut on the album and they'll be like, man, I got some fucking pussy last night. I'm like, put the, why are you saving the interesting shit for often like record that?

Yeah. I mean, I know you got to pay for your butler and private planes and I know they can't play that shit on the radio, but it's like, wouldn't it be nice if someone, because the biggest genre in the world right now in America, I'm sure by far is hip hop, because it was got in that stuff's hard X, you know, and it's all like, and it's all controversial. And it's also like beefs and like wanting to fight and you talk shit about some of the other guys, even though. Yeah.

One guy that I talked shit about on the, on the song Poon actually texted me the other day saying that he was honored. Really? So I thought that was cool. Can we say who it is or no? Yeah, I'll say it. It's guy Jake Owen, who's a kind of a big country star. We went to high school in the same city.

No way. Yeah. In Barrow Beach. Yeah. So, um, I always like it when, you know, if he said he was honored to, to, yeah, I mean, to fans, they'll probably be pissed to know that like the guy even has my number, but I met him and he's a nice guy and like in my head, you know, all I did, Poon is just a song where I just kind of rip on all the, and I literally, I took the iTunes country

charts from that day that was in the studio and I just made them all rhyme, you know. You're really a fucking talented at this, man. No, I didn't. Can I ask you this though? Because I know like, like you were just talking about how country stars you're expected to be super nice all the time and really accommodating to the fans like Garth Brooks, we follow him on social media. Yeah.

Yeah. I agree. I don't think he's fantastic at all. And that gets me in trouble a lot too, which is I fucking hate Garth Brooks. I hate him too. And I think his music is, and I, it is shit. And I could go on for an hour, but I think he's part, he's part of the reason country music got shitty.

Yeah. Because he was the first guy who kind of went pop. Yeah. And kind of took the country. All this like. And he panders so much and it's so fake. I find him to be very disingenuous. You see those G alerts?

Yeah. G alerts. He'll have on Twitter, it's like, it's like a flashing letter G, G alert. And then you'll see him, you'll see him in his fucking, you know, his mansion. Like it's a G alert. He's like, I don't know if I can tell you guys that it's like some top secret thing. So you're like waiting for like, you know, what this big news, like, you know, he's retiring or whatever it is.

And the G alert is that he's playing Atlanta. That's what I was just saying, like I, because I follow him on Instagram and he'll be like, big news, big surprise, swipe up to see it, swipe up to see it. And then you look and he's like, I'm coming to Bozier City. And you're like, that's the surprise asshole. You're going to go there anyways. It's not breaking news. He's always in Studio G.

Yeah. Studio G. Studio G is where they do the G alerts. And he'll also refer to himself as G. As G. It's so narcissistic. Like when they're singing happy birthday, he's like, happy birthday to G. And he says it to himself and calls himself G.

You're like, dude, you fucking. And that's why I get pissed because that ain't the truth because so he's, I don't know this much about it. I don't know the man, but he was married and he doesn't do it. Trish. No. He's married before, but then married before. But then does a duet with Trisha Yearwood.

Now he's married to Trisha Yearwood. So there's obviously a lot of shit he ain't singing about, right? That's the song we want to hear. Right. Yeah. So that's why it's like country music used to be about the truth. And now it's just a bunch of bullshit. And I totally get like, you know, you have like when you sell tickets at any level, you

know, you have to sell tickets because people want to see you. You have fans. And I get it that like, you know, you're going to be obviously, you're appreciative. You want to be nice to your fans, you want to say, but the level of like, it just seems disingenuous. Ha. Yeah. I'm, it's going as so, I'm so overwhelmed and giving shout outs to every single person

that follows him on Twitter. Like bro. Yeah. How can you be? Sorry. It's something I do on podcasts, a lot of interrupting people and I got stuff doing. No, it's all good. We're good.

We cut out that part. I interrupted Christina. But what I was going to say was, I had a, we're now on Facebook, I really wasn't sure about that. That's a G alert. My friend of mine said something that just made all kinds of sense. She said, think of it more as a conversation, throw up in my mouth like that, but I'm already finding out on my own.

So it's wiping the walls out between you and me. I really like that. That's like, that's like a gay video. Yeah. Like he's trying to meet a dude on the internet. Yeah. It is like a gay video. Well, I am.

There are other worlds where I guess in my case, hotel room, I think about things I want to post. I want to post cool stuff, slick stuff, neat stuff. Most of the stuff I'm going to post is going to be raw stuff like this. That's not raw. That's not raw at all. No, not at all. He's wearing his own merch.

So this is truly a conversation and I say, let the conversation begin. It's so contrived and there's no naturalness to that at all. Your uncle trying out social media? Yes. Exactly how it comes across. Now, Dolly Parton is famous for being super fan-friendly. Like I know that she lets people like sleep on her front lawn or on the ground or something. She's got Dollywood outside of Nashville.

Now, do you let people do that to you? Do you let people sleep out on your lawn? Like how? No, no, no. See, my thing is I have a, this is why I think... But that might make you unpopular in the country world. I think what people dig about me is like, if you look at my comments, it's all kind of like the Tom and Bert thing.

It was just like, it was a lot of people just, you're fucking fat, you fuck you. So all my comments are just fans like, like I'll announce a tour and they're like, you're not going to play in my city. Fuck you. And it's a bunch of, it's a bunch of all my fans tell me to go fuck myself, which I kind of appreciate, which is so that I'll go, I'll go onto Twitter and just be like, this, if you tweet me your city one more time, I ain't coming to it ever. And so, because I'm just sick of them just being like, they don't know how tours work.

It's not like, Axel doesn't go through his Twitter and see where the fans want to play and then pick dates. Yeah. I mean, I keep explaining to that, at least for us, like, you know, a promoter approaches me with a routing and you accept it or you don't. And it's predetermined. Yeah. Well, me more than you, I would bet because I got the band, I'm the whole crew and we're

routing. It's like, Toronto's not on the way between Nashville and Chattanooga. We can't just go up to fucking and they're like, well, at it, bitch. Yeah, exactly. All right. There's a guy who I'm on my on my Facebook and tell me if you guys have found I've I've a Facebook is by far the meanest. I don't know why.

I don't. Yeah. I think also that those whatever is commented sits there, right? Like Twitter kind of goes away. I think maybe Facebook or people who haven't moved on to the other things and they're still maybe they're just bitter that they're still, but there's a guy who's just says, who's from England just says, come to the UK, you fucking loser and he's the first post. He's the first guy to comment on everything.

Everything, everything. Every time you post. Yeah. So it's just the UK, you fucking losers. Like plane tickets to England for fucking six dudes to get out and like, yeah, do I have an audience there? I don't know. I mean, no one.

Have you gotten the, well, how much would it cost to book you? So you're supposed to be like, oh, a hundred bucks. Like people sometimes. How much does it cost? I'll get a lot of those just like, you know, just like, you know, how much does it cost for me for you to play my bachelor party and like talk to my fucking people? I don't know. You know, I don't negotiate that.

And they're always, you know, like jokingly, but it doesn't come off as like, you can fuck my sister while you're there. Cool. And I'm like, all right, cool. Well, then I'll take two grand off the. Yeah. Sure. Now, this is probably an obvious question, but did you fuck her on the back of that?

Yeah, I was going to ask that. Did you hook up? No, those were all I wanted to. I mean, those were all Nashville models who, who fucking, who were cool. But the inside, well, you can see better in the CD. Yeah. There's a poster that comes with the poster. Oh, cool.

Open it up. There's a, there's a Pussy King poster. So we had these girls spelled W. W. Jr. with their legs and a couple of the girls complained that we showed their face. They did complain? Yeah. I think they only wanted to show their, the crotch and their legs. Sure.

Now, do you get any pushback from the religious communities? Because country music, I mean, we're talking, that's the Bible built. Yeah. Well, I don't know that anything I'm doing is anti, you know, it's pussy, anti-religion. I guess to some people. Oh, wow. That's what you're saying. It's, it's risqué.

Yeah. No, I do get, I mean, if you were to go to my iTunes page, it's like, um, oh, wow. It's five stars. Wow. It's a hundred. Yeah. Oh, you got the big one. Here's a big one.

If you guys want to take a look at that. Yeah. See, W. W. Jr. Yeah. Yeah. That's great. Looks good. And these girls are like, you can see my face.

Yeah. See, I can see how that's offensive to win, but to me, it was, it wasn't, this is where I get in trouble. To me, I understand how, I understand how that's misogynistic just cause I'm just using them as letters. But to me, it's just like, I thought it'd be cool to have them spot my name. I wasn't thinking like that. Yeah.

Well, you know, what's interesting too is that in this day and age and feminism, a lot of women are saying that this is empowerment, right? Like I, I, I can be like a hot chick and don't call me slut. Like I can put my label. Well, that girl actually Instagram, she's like her picture, she's like, I worked, she said, I worked hard for this, but it's really cool to see it. And she was excited about it. So I'm saying a lot of women see, they flip it.

Uh, I don't know if I agree with it necessarily. By the way, and maybe I just don't buy enough anymore, but I love that you can read lyrics. Yeah. That's so cool. Yeah. I miss that. It's kind of a bummer that, you know, I spent that much time on the artwork that no one's going to see.

That's why I like to bring it. No, it's awesome, man. You know what I like too? The attention to the, the pussy details. If you look, there's a lot of camel toe and then you can actually see like some Vaj. Oh, yeah. I mean, like, look at her lips right here. You can see.

Oh, I didn't even fucking notice it. But what about right here? It's pretty. See the regime. Hold on. Let me, let me look at this. Yeah. Look at the last two.

You can see. She just got drilled. One girl. One, one of the girls, her, her boo was popping out. We had to fix it in Photoshop. I thought. You didn't, you didn't get to know because I don't know these, these girls, I don't know how they found five girls in Nashville who didn't know the fuck I was, but I've never

seen five girls that less interested in me than those girls. Really? Yeah. No. What can that be though? I don't know. I was like, what's it like being a country? Like what's it like being a musician?

And I know you're going to be honest about it where you're going to shows. People are there to see you. You're singing songs. They're excited about. And then you're meeting the girls out. I mean, they must go nuts. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, it's kind of what I sing about on the new record. The new one's called old wheeler just because I, because I'm taught. I feel like an old man and like, why are you laughing? Was it back? Was that obvious of a plug? No. I should have, you know, oh, oh, I'm not, the country world is, I grew up here. I'm just, I just, for me, it's funny because I've just been around the south so much and

spent so much time. I mean, I lived in Florida and Carolina. It's just like, there's old eight years old. It's just fun. Yeah. Well, there's, I'm a huge Wayland Jennings fan and there was, and there's a Wayland album called old Wayland. So I'm just like, all the, the old, um, uh, you know, like the

really the album was just about my last year on the, it was like, and I was talking about it before. I'm just, I feel like I'm just, you know, getting gray in my beard and like, you're meeting these girls who are Snapchat and stick, you know, Instagram and you naked pics on the DM. And like, I just don't know that, like trying to figure out that, like, I feel like I'm a man at a time almost, you know, like, I've considered myself, although you wouldn't tell it by the pussy King poster, like an old style Southern gentleman as much as a guy who thinks

pussy King can say that. And then it's like, you meet a girl and she'll just fucking test you or twat, you know, it's like, it's so weird. It's like, so weird for me, like, cause I'm at the age of when seeing a naked girl in a playboy was the biggest fucking deal you could think of. I'm the same. Yeah. And now girls will send you like basically, you know, um, I don't know, like OBGYN fucking

video. But then they expect you to send your dick pic too, right? I won't do it. Why not? Cause I don't want it to. That's just, dude, that it's never happened to me. No one's ever texted me, um, uh, pussy pictures or anything, but I always think that like if I were on the market these days, one thing I would never do is text my dick.

Hell no. Yeah. Cause my, my buddies are like, well, you don't put your face in it and it's fine. It's like, that doesn't mean anything. No, it doesn't. If, if, if a picture, also I'm a grower, not a show, or as they say, cause I know Ari was in here before last week and you said he had enormous balls. I also feel like I'm a grower with my balls too.

Depends on your balls grow. Yeah. I mean, they don't actually grow, but they, you know, you could find me on the wrong day and it'll look like a fucking baby. Yeah. I'm, I'm that too. And then I, but like his balls are so big, but you've got really nice balls. Yeah.

Yours are exemplary. Yeah. Yeah. But, but dick wise it's, it's like last week I did a trim, you know, on the hair and it was just like, it'd been a few days and you're like, whoa, your hog looks different today. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. I noticed the operative thing is it looked different that day. It's not like that every day. Well, I mean, like my new thing is trying to get ready for this tour we got coming up. I've been like exercising and running. Like when I run my dicks like this, people can't sit on the podcast, I'm holding two fingers very close. When I run my dick fucking tribbles up.

Yeah. So, but then someone wants a dick pic. I don't want to sit there for 10 hours getting ready and jacking off and like to look awesome. Yeah. Yeah. I also want to see, I also want to see the tits in the poster too. Sure. Sure.

So wait, do you have, is there anyone that you're dating or anybody? Yeah. I'm seeing, I'm seeing somebody right now in, in, in Nashville who, do you know this podcast? And it's been a problem of mine and I'm super hyper focused on it right now because a guide the other day text tweeted me that I can't finish a complete, I was on Rogan, I didn't finish one complete sentence and now it's in my head so I'm, now I got to, I'm talking all over the place but I was on this podcast called Guys We Fucked, do you know that podcast? Oh yeah, I've heard of it.

It's popular. It's very popular podcast. Yeah. I did some promo in New York and they had, they had emailed me, my people last year, they wanted to use some of my songs in their podcast and I'm like, yeah, sounds good. Like next time you're in New York, just come do the podcast and it's just this real, it's a really cool podcast where these two girls just talk like kind of nasty, you know, sex talk.

About their real experiences or what. Yeah. Which is almost like, you know, what guys do all the time but they do it and it's really cool. I think. Empowering. To me, that, to me, that's empowering talking about, you know, they call it the anti-slut shaming.

I really like that. Yeah. Podcast. And I went on it and I told a bunch of details and my lady friend was none too happy about that. Sure. And so, so to keep her from it, I said, I'd refer to her as a girl I used to see. Oh boy.

So, which I thought was helping the situation. Right. Because I was. So it's like an old story. Yeah. So, so if people saw me out in Nashville with this girl, they wouldn't be like, oh, I heard you talking about the fuck stories with her. Yeah.

Yeah. I thought I was protecting her and it actually was a double whammy. Number one, I was talking explicit shit about her. Yeah. And also two, I was saying on the, a podcast that I wasn't seeing her anymore. Oh dear. Right. So it, so I gotta, I'm trying to watch what I say now on, on podcasts.

No, that's all good, man. Yeah. I mean, I think you didn't, you were, you had the good intention. Well, also two, you get those, you forget how big these fucking podcasts like the reason I, and not to be rude to her, but I was just like, there's no way she's ever, I mean, there's eight million podcasts. Why would she listen to this one? It makes sense then.

And she did. She's smart. And she likes hearing girls. Plus you were, you were on a podcast with like, I don't know what those girls look like, but they're probably like two hot chicks, right? Yeah. They're not banging dudes. So of course your lady's going to be like, um, what do you want to do?

So you were saying you would listen if I was. Oh yeah. I'd be like, first of all, you're not doing that show. And then secondly, what'd you talk about with those sluts? Yeah. I'm sure they're lovely. I don't even know them. Are they comics?

I think so. Yeah. Um, but yeah, you should, um, I don't want to plug, I'd rather plug my album than their podcast. Can we play some songs off of his new album? Is that allowed? Uh, if you want to, here's one thing, which is why I'm who I am is my independence, which is whether you want to play it or not, just to let you know, I own my masters.

I own my song, you know, like it was an important thing for me to own everything. So like, yeah, if some kind of shitty comp, you know, burger company wants to use my, you know, Carl's Jr. wants to play fuck you, bitch. Well, I need to burger. I can say no, like I literally own it. Like I can, so if, and I've had this before too, friends want to use it for a thing here there. And I just say, you know, if I know they don't have money, if it's just like a podcast,

I'll just say, so it won't get flagged if we play it on something. It might get what's happened and they happened with Rogan before, which is it gets flagged because of the distribution company, but the flagging, it doesn't matter that it's like, cause it comes back around to me and I say, oh, let it go. Yeah. Great. Um, yeah. I mean, you have a new album out.

It's doing really well and the tour is going to kick off soon. Yeah. What, what's when will this come out? This comes out in a day or two. Okay. So yeah, probably a couple of weeks from now. And I meant to text my manager to see what markets it's weird to, is there a site to buy tickets though?

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, this is wheeler walker junior.com. There you go. Then probably backslash tour. I think for the tour. Yeah. Dates.

You guys know how to find. Well, they don't really, because they like tweet me. Where are you playing on this tour? Oh, no, that shit's ridiculous. Yeah. And I also get this, um, you know, we'll plug that I'm in whatever, going to Philly, then the tweet comes in. Are you in Philly now?

And I go, yeah. Shows tonight. Yes. Where? I'm like, dude. Oh dude. I'll get that. It's like, who at times opener go on?

You know, it's like, you know, what, what time you go on is like, I don't want, not only do I not like how fucking lazy are you, but like also I want you to see the opening. Google it. Yeah. Yeah. And I know it's like just fucking come on and look it up. Now wait, is there a real problem with you in Georgia, Florida line? Florida.

No. Well, I'm Georgia line. I don't know the name. I went, I went after the country group. Here's the big, they're massive. Right. Let me just for someone, I like having Christina here because she's someone who doesn't know this world.

So I can just explain it really simply country music used to be really fucking good. And then it became white people, pop music, like the stuff that comes if, if like, if after this, like if Tom played you Florida, Georgia line, you would and told you that was a hit country song, your mind would be fucking blown because it was like, it doesn't sound, it's just, it's new kids on the block. Right. And that's like the number, that'd be like a number one country song. Yeah.

It's, it's, it's just pop crap, which is it's kind of someone described the other day. I was cause people are trying to, it's a big argument, which I don't really give that much of a shit about, but you know, what is country music these days? And one of my friends, her definition, which a friend told her was just country music is now defined as just whatever white people are listening to. Hmm. Not bad. It's not a bad description, which is they're actually taking, cause you know, the old cliche

about like whatever's cool in New York or LA is like gets to the south, you know, 10 years later. Right. And it's true in music too, which is like a lot of these beats and a lot of those sound like it's kind of like hip hop from like 10 or 15 years ago. Yeah. And it sounds like fucking MC Hammer or Millie Vanilly. Yeah.

Yeah. And it's fucking garbage. And so my thing was I'm going to play real country music. And since I'm playing real country, no one's going to fucking play it anyway, cause I don't want real country. So I may as well, I may as well not censor my, cause everyone would want to sing dirty if they could. Well, who do you hate the most in country music right now?

Who's the worst? It's not really hate, but the worst artists are definitely Florida, Georgia line. There's this guy, Sam Hunt, who, um, and look, uh, I don't know. I'm trying to give my words to, cause all these people, by the way, now that I'm on the charts, they, they don't come after me, but they're, they're people, but you know, can you knock it off a little really they'll they'll reach out about that? I've had a couple of people reach out none, none of these guys, but I've met these people. The problem is, they're not a problem, but you, they're not bad people.

You know what you mean? And they're like, like you probably have friends who are comics who are like super nice guys who aren't fucking funny. Right. Right. Right. But what do you do? But.

Yeah. But yeah, I'm doing his thing cause I'm in town for the next week. I'm doing a, the punch drunk thing tomorrow. What's that? That's a triple podcast. Yeah. That'll be fun. That'll be fun.

Yeah. And I'm doing to kill Tony tonight. Oh, that's really fun. Is that fun? Really fun. Yeah. I've really found, and that's why I love doing this stuff is because radio is pretty much banned me.

Yeah. And it's almost like a big fuck you to just fuck you. Fuck this mainstream. I'll tell you with, uh, with a lot of the podcasts, like we're talking about you're reaching more people too. The thing too is I, um, and, and we talked about it before, I actually talked about it on Rogan, which is, and I've got the numbers to prove it. Rogan's bigger than SNL if you're a musician.

For sure. Like people don't understand. Like I'm going through the back door, you know, like, yeah, cause when we put it out, I was like, fuck, you know, I can't get on the radio and they won't even have me on the radio to interview me without, or even play or bleep it out. You just thought I'm just banned. Yeah. But nobody even listens to terrestrial radio anymore.

It's done. I mean, some, some market, some genres still have country has a big country is a lot of people who like, who don't, who have cassette players in their cars and have listened to radio and buy, go to Walmart to buy CD. Do you have any relationship with Toby Keith? Uh, no, but I heard a rumor that he wanted me to open a show, but I didn't, I don't know if I ever panned out. Really?

That'd be it. I mean, I know it didn't pan out, but I don't know if it, uh, you imagine like, I'm sure his draw is unreal for you to go out there and do the Pussy King. I'd love to do it. But yeah, I think that's the other problem too is we couldn't really, we couldn't really tour until I could headline because no one would have me, no, I can't open for anybody because a lot of these countries, you know, like Toby, Toby Keith, there'll be parents and the two little girls or something.

I can't sing. That doesn't Toby Keith have a rib place. He has a restaurant. It's like Toby Keith. I love these ribs or something. Yeah. No, I'm serious because I remember doing like military tours. I love these red, white and blue.

I love these ribs. Yeah. So weird. He had an album called shock and y'all. Yeah. Yeah. Florida George's line just opened up a restaurant in Nashville, which is, I can only imagine, I mean, if their foods, if their foods twice as good as their music, it's still shit.

Now, will you be opening a Pussy King restaurant? No, we're doing, we're doing a Pussy King. I actually just reached out to the, to these guys who make pocket pussies to see if they wanted to make a special wheel. Wait, so can I pull up the video? That'd be great. Can I play that? You can play it.

Hold on, because that video is really great. So you're going to do a pocket pussy, but nothing for restaurants or food? No, I ain't got that kind of cash yet. I got, I mean, once I can, yeah, I mean, it's, we're doing the whole, we're doing the Vivo one. Is that the one to play? Yeah. Which, which, which song?

Which one are you talking about? Pussy King. Yeah. Is that the, like, is, hold on, I'll show you, is it better to play this one on your Vivo channel? Yeah, that's the real one. That's the real one. Okay.

That's the real one. I'm going to play a song called La, Country Music. I mean, this video is great. Yeah, it's great. This song is great. I love it! We're the walker, junior, motherfucker. Yeah, pussy on the brain.

We're some of the vocals I'm going to play. Really? Might be audio stuff. Yeah, girl in Memphis and one in Baton Rouge. The addition in Austin who thinks that my dick is better than inforce. Yeah, I mean, this video is great. I mean, this video is great. Yeah, it's great.

The song is great. I love it. Yeah, we're the walker, junior, motherfucker. Yeah, pussy on the brain. We're some of the vocals I'm going through. Really? Might be audio stuff. So, you could get into this kind of...

I like it. See? I like it because it's honest. Yeah. It's real. I don't like bullshit. That's why I don't like girls. When I was on the road, you know, girls after me all the time, I'm like, maybe I am the pussy

king, you know. Yeah. You know, push back on from the women's groups and stuff. Not? Well, the smart women can kind of get it in the fun of it. But yes, I do. I bet your show is fun, man. I'd like to see this live.

Yeah, me too. We did the troubadours together. That's awesome. That's awesome. The guy who did this video is Cameron Crowe, but not that one. Are you being serious? Yeah. It's his name?

Yeah. I think he doesn't have an E. It's a great video, man. He did a great job with that. Really great graphics. Yeah. It's like Rogan there. Yeah.

I love that. It's a great singer like that. I know exactly where it is. Yeah, it's a badass one. Wow. The best way I would describe it is it just feels like a throwback to real country music. Well, this song especially, which is, you know, I was hearing all that, like I said, kind of shitty white boy rap on the radio.

Yeah. Let's do the old kind of like Jerry Reed kind of country funk shit. So you grew up, did you grow up in Nashville? I grew up in Kentucky, but my mom and all my family's from Nashville. So it's really strange right now, which is, I don't know if you guys know, but Nashville's like the hippest city in the world. It is cool. We've been there.

I like it. My last, you know, as a kid, I knew it as a kid when it was like a fucking ghost town. Yeah. And now it's the rent's fucking great. It's like, since I've been a kid, it's become just like super hip place and I can barely afford to live there. I got a buddy there. I know.

I'm sorry. I'm so blown away that you're not getting late every night. At the shows. I do. I do. Okay. I do. Okay.

The thing, the secret is, I was talking to a buddy of mine the other day just about this is secret is to party between tours. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So going around Nash, I mean, it's easier. I can meet girls in Nashville going out to bars and stuff. Right.

And I can meet one and fucking boys. He went, it's just some random girl who's like, um, you got to get through that tour, which is also work. You got to have stand them to get through it. Yeah. Yeah. I need more stand them up because of the last tour. I, um, I went a little too crazy and not a joke.

I put myself in the hospital for real. Yeah. The tour ended and I was, and what happened was I, um, the tour ended in LA and it's kind of a secret, but I don't really give a shit anymore, which is we're doing a TV special. And, um, touring in LA, I had some meetings about this wheel walker junior TV special. And we were in this big, fancy Hollywood building or wherever it was, Beverly Hills. And the tour ended the night before and I barfed on myself in the fucking meeting with all these suits there and almost lost the show because I think they thought I was on

heroin or drugs or some shit, but I was really just exhausted from, I went too hard on the tour. I'm with you, dude. I know exactly what you're talking about. Okay. Cool. So, so what happened was I called, um, I called my family and just like, you know, I'm sick. So maybe leave me alone for a couple of days.

And I went back to the hotel and 48 hours later or no, I think it was 24 hours later. I heard banging on the door and they were about to break down the door. They had the tour manager come over and they hadn't heard from me for what happened was I passed out. I was so exhausted from the tour and I was so sick. I didn't wake up for 24 hours. They were about to bust down the hotel, you know, I had, I had the whole thing locked. They were about to bust down the hotel room door and then they had to take me to the hospital

and like put the IVs in. Oh my God. I've been, I haven't had it like that, but I would say even without partying cause I'm not a big party guy, I've had a tour where, you know, it was a different city every night, four or five nights a week, three weeks in a row, one week off, then back to three weeks in a row. And at the end of like the third month of that, I just fully broke down and got like really sick, you know, got,

Yeah. And I think too, I was from my friends I'm talking about, I think there was, although I don't want to admit it was probably a mental, uh, Sure. You know, part of it too, which was just like emotionally and physical, just everything was just drained. And then you know, like they filled me up with, with fluids at the, at the emergency room. And I guess it helped, but I still, I mean, it took two weeks for me to really kind of

be. Touring actually, most people, and I was one of these people, whenever you heard about like big stars, Yeah, it sounds like, You're like, that sounds like some, you're like, that sounds like bullshit. Like, like they suffering from exhaustion. And then if you actually tour, it's the one thing that when you, you see it on the news with somebody, you start to have empathy for, you're like, oh yeah, that person, I believe

that. Like they're actually really sick. And you hear about those fuckers, like let's say Garth Brooks, for example, who I heard, and I can't say this for a fact, but I'm pretty sure I'm right. Someone told me, you know, he has a Vegas residency and he wants, but he wants to sleep at home. So he walks out of the, the gig and gets on a private plane and they fly him back to wherever he lives.

He doesn't sleep. Yeah. He has, there's, there's, there's artists at that level now, you know, which fair to say I'm pretty fucking far from that. Yeah. Who do tours where they, they just sleep in their own place every night. That would be great. They walk out the back of the arena.

If you're that rich, yeah. Why not? I felt did, uh, had that thing where, so he, he got an offer. He was in an interview saying that he got an offer to do a private gig in the Bahamas, but for like a super wealthy people, but for like 10 people. And so the, the, the, you know, what he required was, you know, obviously extraordinary amount of money. He would not mingle pre-show that's imperative flew in the, he's like, it has to be set up

like this. They introduced him. He came in, he did the show, walked out and flew back from the Bahamas to New York. For 10 people. Yeah. But it was for, you know, probably seven figured or something. I mean, that's the only, sometimes those are the, like, I'll get it like a, you know, a bachelor party or somewhere private party that'll pay for the rest of the tour.

Yeah. So it's touring is so fucking with a band. It's, I bet you at a bachelor party would probably be a really fun. Yeah. You'd be a great actor. But we actually, not to act too diva, but we, we do have to have my people tell them like, you know, he ain't going to the titty bar with you after, you know, that's, I don't want to do that.

I don't want to hang out with you all night. Yeah. You're not buying my friendship. Right. Because that's too expensive. All right. So here's Ex-Im. We're live inside Studio G.

Where's the G? Thanks for coming out to catch us. Where's the douchebag? Oh, jeez. Welcome to Inside Studio G. Where music is first here and... He's acting like he's not a billion. Really cool. Right.

Because what I was going to say before was, so I had a, when I had the first record and I was kind of shopping around, I did meet at, at a Capitol Records. It didn't take the, nothing against them, but it was, it would have been the completely wrong place to do it because they don't know how to market a dirt. They, you know, their thing is go to radio, go to MTV, all the shit I couldn't do. But it was nice to meet with me. Nice dudes. But I was in the lobby.

In the lobby, they had all, every Capitol album that had gone, you know what Diamond is? Diamond, you know, Platinum is a million copies. Right. And Diamond, they have this new thing called Diamond, which is 10 million. 10 million. Damn. And a plaque of every Diamond album that Capitol ever put out, which was, it literally was,

it was like Dark Side of the Moon and then every Beatles album and pretty much every Garth Brooks album. Wow. Then you think about the Beatles, which is like, you know, back in the old days and there's four of them. It's Garth Brooks. It's just fucking him. And he had like fucking 10 of these.

That's crazy, man. I mean, this guy's got more, he played a Rupp Arena, which is a big arena where I'm my hometown. That's 23,000. He played two sold out shows there in one night. Jesus. Okay. Earlier this year, I did a gig in Edmonton at a theater.

I was there the same week as him and he was doing wherever the Oilers play, which is like about 20,000. He did nine. Oh my God. That's crazy. Nine sold out. I think it's Rogers Arena or something. Pretty crazy.

But that's the thing is that if you're that popular, you've got to be so detached from reality. Well, I think he's proving here that he's detached. Yeah. But he's trying. That's the thing. He's trying to show you that I'm not. But he's also, don't forget, he's actually not, I mean, he still sells tickets like a

motherfucker. But he's also not adapting well to this new world. His shit's not on iTunes. It's not on Spotify. Why? He thinks it's a rip off and he thinks a rip off to them. To him. No.

To him. Oh. I mean, I don't know what the specific things are. He wanted iTunes is what I heard was he wanted iTunes to not sell, have the ability, he's like their albums or pieces of work. Yeah. You can't, I don't want you to be able to sell single tracks. Oh.

Oh. And iTunes is like. Couldn't he do like album only sales then? They're like, that's not what we do here. And he's his, I think he was just like, well, I'm Garth Brooks, you, I make the rules and we're Apple. No, no, you don't. Right.

How does he sell his albums then? I mean, he actually tried to, this is how dummy is he, he, um, he, he had built a website where he actually, I'm making the term up, but like, instead of MP3s, they were like Garth P3s, but I'm, but I'm, I'm, I'm making that up. But it was. GP3s. Yeah. GP.

He invented his own format. What? And had his fans buy it just directly from him. Wow. But he just signed, you can buy his music digitally and I'll give him a nice plug. He just signed an exclusive, he, the first, he's now, you can buy his albums digitally at Amazon. Oh, they let him do it.

So now if you, a lot of these videos here, these stupid shit, there's, you see Amazon logos behind it. Oh, okay. It's cause he's only, he finally, like we're talking about a guy who got into the digital music world like three months ago. Yeah, literally. Well, like that video we were playing. Social media.

Yeah. I got. And his new albums don't sell. What happened? Did you see that? He was so angry. I think that's supposed to mean. Happy birthday to you.

Happy birthday to you. Yeah. You see that by the way. Okay. Look at the rage on his face. When somebody knocks, knock happens, look at the rage and he's like, is that supposed to happen? Look at the phone.

I got. Whoever's knocking on the fucking door when I'm doing my. And he probably watched it thinking, thinking it's so funny updates. Is that supposed to happen? He's so. Fake fun. Thank God. Thank God.

Nothing unexpected happened. And for that G alert. So yeah, I was because like my, the arena in my hometown is 23,000. That's crazy. So I'll bet, I'll bet he was just like, I'll bet his, whoever runs this shit is just like 23,000. Like that's not even worth our time. Yeah.

So he's like, we'll do two. Cause my friends, some friends of mine went and they said like the, you know, the stairway is like, it was like congested because people leave in and coming in and he does a long show too. He's like, the shows were 23,000 people to sold out shows. One, six, 31, nine, 30. Wow. Jesus Christ.

Yeah. Only we have the drop where he's talking about, um, he's like, you know, people email me that like during the show, they'll be looking at the guy, the guy doing the lighting and they're like, look at that guy. Oh my God. It's like, yeah, man. I mean, that's what people, they get into everybody. They're not just there for me.

They're looking at the lighting guy and they're looking at the. He's trying to give credit to the lighting guy, the grip guy. These, these are the ones that are doing the work. I'm not doing the work. I'm just the front man. Happy birthday to G. So give him, give them the money. Yeah, man.

Right. Chop it up. Right. Yeah. It's like, yeah. He's the one really doing the work. The lighting man gets 30%. No.

What about this man right here? Are you a fan of a. So what is your regimen now? What exactly are you doing to stay in. Not really. Not really. I mean, I don't dislike him. He actually had a weird shirt.

But I think that would be. That's kind of gay. Isn't it? But can I just. He had a hit this year, this past year written by a friend of mine. That's a great song. What is she doing? Oh Lord.

That's so weird. That was weird. That was weird. Yeah. A friend of mine who I'm playing a gig with next week in Nashville charity gig. He just opened up for him. And I saw a video of it on Instagram. It's crazy.

It's like. Don't you feel like country music nowadays is almost underground music? Like the big stars aren't like the real world big stars. Yeah. But they feel they fucking pack arenas wherever they go. Pack arenas. But like these guys wouldn't hold a candle. Fame wise to like a Kim Kardashian or a Kanye or any of these guys.

You know, it's like they're not in. Or a Lady Gaga, but they probably do as much business. Oh, they like. I'll bet Garth Brooks is 20, literally 20, 50 times bigger than Lady Gaga. But Lady Gaga is in the news all that, you know. Right. Yeah. Look away at his teeth.

Those look good. But like if Garth Brooks has had all those diamond records, I mean, Gaga, Katy Perry, they've never had a. No. Even half that. By the way, nobody would ever allow what Katy Couric. If it had been the reverse, if it had been like a guy interviewing. It's just a touch.

Can I just touch you? Just super weird. Your tits look great. You mind if I just grab a little? All right. Wow, they are. They're real natural. Yeah.

Super weird. But you're right. It is something that Garth didn't adapt to this digital era. I mean Lady Gaga. The new, his new album is called Man vs. Machine. Versus, right? There's an adversarial attitude towards social media. Yeah.

The machine won. The machine. Right. Because Lady, Lady Gaga is on Twitter and she's got gazillion, you know, millennials and Garth didn't get that audience. But not to be on iTunes. You're not in the game. It's crazy.

Not to be on Spotify. Kids nowadays just make Spotify playlists. Right. But yeah, to me, he was kind of the turning point when everything turned. Remember they used to hook his fat ass up to those fucking wires and he would fly through the arena? Because that's not like what Willie Nelson never did that shit. You know, he tried to turn it into Bon Jovi.

So to me, he was the first one to kind of turn country into sell-off music. To suckify. So do you think that Garth Brooks is responsible for the suckification of country music? I think he was the beginning of it. I mean, in a weird way, I mean, now compared to the shit that's out there now, he sounds like fucking Woody Guthrie, you know? He sounds like, you know, he sounds old school compared to what's out there now. But at the time, I just remember being in high school in Kentucky and like, you'd walk into

a room and the teachers and the kids together were singing friends in low places. Like it was like Glee or something. Like it was the biggest fucking song in the world. And I remember just hating those fucking songs. Yeah. And they just, because he'd come to town and you don't want to listen to what your parents would do to my parents would go to this show and like aunts and uncles and like, it was like more for parents.

Yeah. You guys are lame. It was like a little kid. I don't want to go to like that. It was like little kids and parents. Where in Kentucky was it? Lexington. Lexington.

Which is a big city, you know? Yeah. Where I'm from. Yeah. Um, this is a, by the way, a super example, very clear of the dynamic that exists within like the country, at least the popular country culture is this interviewer and you'll see like. Harry, you are so beautiful.

You know, you're my fellow Oklahoma girl. You know, I wasn't, um, I was your age, not too long ago. So here's the question. So here's the question. My short shorts put on some. Not to interrupt, but like, look at that row of women. Yeah. Why is she the star?

You know, is her voice better than the rest of those girls? Probably not. But yeah, you can tell by the faces which one gets to be the star. Right. Right. Yeah, you sure can. Good point. Yeah.

Wait, so who's this, who's this blonde talking? This is Carrie Underwood here. I don't know that other girl. And then this one right here. I don't know. Yeah. Probably in a reality. Now people just tell me to take off my short shorts, put on some

normal jeans and get off the hood of their car. I mean, that's just, yeah, that's just, that's like slang. I don't know what is that. Yeah. I'm just going to go and see if there's any people's faces. Oh my gosh. No, perfect. Just like my girls from Oklahoma.

This is an arena of people. Geez. And people watch that as entertainment. Now if you imagine if from there, she's like, all right, y'all. And now here's Wheeler. Walker G. Happy gray. With a finger up my butt.

I would love that. I'm really trying. That's what I'm getting on the charts is a big deal for me because I like like, I like knowing that someone like that's manager had to get up at the next on Monday morning and go, you're number 11. Yeah. Well, I'm not in the top 10. Who's number 10?

And they're like, don't, don't, don't tell her, you know. Yeah. Yeah. And they're like, fuck, you know. So, but it is, I will say in fairness, there's a lot of kind of big country artists who are fans and who would piss me off too is, you know, they, they call me or get to my, get to me through their people and you know, fucking, cause they want to look cool.

I look, what are you doing? So fucking badass. And I'm like, put on a fucking t-shirt. Tweet about it. You know, don't keep it here fucking self. You know, it's like, it's a cool thing to like say you're a fan of mine. Right. Right.

But they don't want to lose. They're scared. They're scared to mention it. That's what the thing is. I think that, that fear exists more in country. Like other genres of music, they wouldn't be. You gotta remember too that, and if you haven't seen it, I always recommend this movie, this documentary, the Dixie Chicks.

I forget the title of the documentary, but when they, when they got banned from country music, like they're still gone from country music. People hate them still. Yeah. That's great. Cause they spoke out against the war. The war, which by the way, Bush, right?

But is it Bush? Yeah. It was Bush. Yeah. But I don't, I don't, I don't want to get political, but that's what Trump ran on, is what, what they said. Yeah. Wow.

What they're saying is what everyone now agrees with, and they still can't come back. It's crazy. You brought your guitar. Would you mind playing a song? Yeah. Why don't I play? Here's what I want to play because well, I want to preface it by saying something. I don't know if you guys knew this.

It's kind of a big deal. I blew up on black Twitter two weeks ago. You know what that is? Black Twitter. Yeah. Sure. So I have a song from the first record called, fuck you bitch. Yeah.

And somebody from the people who make my records call me up like, what's going on with your first record? Cause the new one just came out. My first record's selling a bunch. And I have no idea. I looked and they go, you blew up on black Twitter. Wow. And I didn't know what that was.

And apparently it's kind of like just the rest of the world is like shit gets hot in the like black Instagram and black Twitter first. Wait, there's black Instagram too? Well, I mean, it's, you know, it's not separate, but it's, it's within the. Yeah. Well, this one dude, his name was Dayquan or something. Yeah. Yeah.

He's a big meme guy. He posted my, he posted fuck you bitch. And it got like 200 million views. Crazy. And it was in my, that song from the first record went back up the charts after, while my new one was coming out. So I want to, I know you had a lot of. Watchers and all those guys.

Yeah. Yeah. I know you guys got a lot of black fans. Yeah. Go, go for it, man. We do. We're going to get a real taste right now. Oh my God.

Fuck it. Awesome here. Yeah. What's up? Yeah. What's this? What are we seeing? Okay.

Show it to you. Okay. Oh, wow. That's gorgeous. Someone made that for you. Gibson now gives me free guitar. No. Uh-uh.

Wow. He said. At what point does that happen though? I think when my first album was in the top 10, a Gibson rep called, and so friend introduced me to someone at Gibson. Wow. I'm going to take a picture of you with your Gibson. Yeah.

He has his name. We also need a picture of me and Tom together. Yeah, yeah. To prove. Let me ask you also, before you play it, what, so, you know, you're in Kentucky, you're in Nashville growing up. Are you always playing music then growing up? I was always playing music and then, so I was always playing and I always, and I was

more of a rock guy to be honest. Yeah. And I got my headphones off. So let me know if I'm not close enough to that. You're good. But for some reason, when I played and sang, I could always sing better. I always sounded more natural when I played country. I couldn't, I didn't have a good rock voice.

Yeah. And I didn't really, I wasn't like a killer like guitar. I had nothing to offer really for, you know, like, I love Zeppelin, but there's nothing, like I can't be Robert playing. I can't be Jimmy Page, but I could kind of hold my, I could hold my own within the country stuff. But yeah, they called me. They said, if you only play Gibson guitars, we'll give you all the Gibson's you want.

Wow. And I go, it sounds like a fucking, because Gibson, Gibson and Martin are the two best acoustics. Yeah. It's like Mercedes BMW. It doesn't matter. It's a beautiful guitar. And were you already, so you already had some Gibson's though.

You were playing Gibson. Yeah. I was actually playing a Martin at the time and I go, I told him I had a Martin. They're just like, keep in your house and don't play it in public. And we're fine. We're fine. I said, they didn't make me bash it or throw it away. Yeah.

You know, Just don't play it in public. Yeah. It was really cool of them. So you're going to play. Every time I get this thing out, I'm still amazed that they made this. Amazing. It's beautiful.

You're going to play, fuck you bitch. Yeah. Just because it's really easy to play on acoustic. Okay. Make sure I'm in tune first. How's that? How's it sound? Sounds beautiful.

Yeah. That's the Gibson sound. When you say we're down, you packed up your stuff, it's really over. So you've had enough, there's one thing I'd like to say for you lately, fuck you bitch. You broke my heart. Fuck your friends. You're tearing us apart. Fuck your dog.

Hope he never comes home. Fuck you bitch. Hope you wind up alone. Now you're gone. And I'm by myself jerking off to pictures on myself. But before I swipe on your face, I just scream. Fuck you bitch. You broke my heart.

Fuck your friends. You're tearing us apart. Fuck your dog. Hope he never comes home. Fuck you bitch. Hope you wind up alone. Word is out. You found someone new.

Well I hope it does it for you. But if not, then you call me up. Darling please. Fuck you bitch. You broke my heart. Fuck your friends. You're tearing us apart. Fuck your dog.

Hope he never comes home. Fuck you bitch. Hope you wind up alone. Fuck you bitch. Hope you wind up alone. Wow. That was fantastic. That was great man.

That was beautiful. Thank you for doing that. Sounded okay? I loved it. Yeah, it sounded great man. You know what I love? It does harken back to at least what little I know of country music. Kind of the OG themes of like, I hope your fucking dog dies.

You know it's the heartbreak and the drama. I appreciate that. Because that was kind of my whole point which is, you know, you get dumped by a girl and you know, whether it's your fault or not, let's just assume it was my fault when she dumped me like I was being an asshole. Your first thought is like, oh fuck you bitch. You know, it's in your head. It's not like women are bitches, you know.

Right. Yeah, fuck you for hurting me. It's almost empowering in a weird way. Like you got that much control over me, you know. Fuck you bitch. Like, because I grew up, you know, with country, but I also grew up with, you know, the hip-hop world was out there. Of course.

It was like, why can't we talk openly and uncensored about, if I'm feeling that, a million other people got to be feeling it. Yeah, for sure. So just why censor it? I got to ask this, because you mentioned your family multiple times and we're looking at these posters and the tracks and everything. What do they think of this music? What does your mom think of Wheeler's songs?

Well, because of all this, I've had all this fun on podcasts, I started doing a podcast and it's, we're still working out the kinks, but it's up on iTunes and shit, but I didn't interview my dad on it and they don't love it. I did play, they came to a couple, they came to a couple Nashville gigs and I'll tell you what's fucking weird is a whole big audience singing along to fuck you bitch while you're cause I got my shades on and I can see my, all I'm watching is my mom, I'm looking down like she can't, so she can't tell and I'm just watching my mama. Oh jeez.

And she's, she's got a weird, I've never seen her, she's never made this face before or since, but the face was, it was a weird mix of like, I'm proud that there's a whole giant room of people singing along mixed with what did I do wrong to make him sing like this. And she's watching them go to the merch booth buying t-shirts and shit, so it's, I've never seen so much, I'm proud and disgusted at the same time. She got both expressions on her face really well. Go to 1000 Ranch.com and buy some tickets to see those big mushy purples. It's my dad plugging Christina's website.

Yeah, but don't you think that, you know, once your mom sees how successful you are, that you can be like, mom, this is the house that fuck you bitch built, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, well, he ain't built a house yet and that, once I buy them a house may be better, I will say, yeah, I mean, if my songs were like, like she gets it, you know, it'd be different if I had a hit song with, you know, like women are cunts or just, you know, something like that, you know, just like my mom's got a hairy bush or something, you know, she understands where I'm coming from, whether or not she digs it, because her first reaction is like,

you got such a pretty voice and why don't you just keep it clean? And I'm like, yeah, what's my thing is, and again, back to thanking you guys, it's just like, now that you got YouTube and streaming services, like, why do I why can't fuck the room? Why do I need to be funny thing is like, there's levels like from thinking for like as a parent to there's levels of language where it's like, oh, my son curses, you know, and then there's like, I'm the pussy king and like finger up my butt. Finger up my butt was definitely the weirdest one where they're just like, I don't know if you do you want to hear the origin of that song, which is I was hanging out with a

buddy of mine in Nashville and he writes kind of hit songs for country artists. And he was saying this one big star who I can't name was just like, he was talking about, you know, these young girls on the road, kind of what I'm singing about. And he's like, you know, but these young girls, they don't know what they're doing. He's like, sometimes you just want to finger up your ass. And everyone in the room is laughing. And I'm the only one who's looking. I'm like, that's a song, you know, like a guy who's just like, he can get any girl he wants, but we should not do it right. But he really, but what he wants is to finger up his fuck, you know, you can never get what you want. Like this dude just can only get off with the

finger up his ass. And I was like, again, I guess I'm the only guy in country music who would say that's a song right there. But I think they're definitely, although they don't want to bring it up like do you because it's a, even though I sing me, it's a first person song. It's about somebody else, but I think my parents are kind of looking at me like, do you get off on a finger up your, yeah, of course they're thinking that. When did we, like, when did Wheeler start doing that? Yeah, because if you want to know the truth, which is I even, I've heard people say that they actually enjoy like, you know, the, at the doctor, like I fucking hate like, I'm the opposite. Yeah. Yeah. No, not only that's pleasurable. I know people who say they've fucking dug it.

The checkup. I mean, I could see if they could say they're digging it during sex, but like the checkup. Yeah, I don't want nothing near my ass. So that, I mean, I don't either. I pride myself on my honesty, but I guess I'm just proving that that one's not, that one's about somebody else. Yeah. But yeah, that's definitely without, but that's another universal theme. I mean, I think a lot of men would, would, it resonates with I want a finger in my butt. Yeah. I think the bigger idea was again, not the specific part of it, but just the idea of just like the weird shit people are into. I wonder how many people like in these towns you go to end up there because someone else is like, Hey, you know, this guy likes going to be in town

and like, I got tickets. And he's like, is a singer. Yeah, he's great. He's great. And someone's just like, all right, I'll go. And they're just, you know, they're in the country and they're just like, let's see what this dude's all about. Well, the best part is all the, you know, the dudes with the backward baseball hats singing cause we end the show with which one you queer is going to suck my dick and watching a whole crowd of just like, dude, just like scream that at me. Yeah, that's awesome. What are they going to do with the internet? Are they going to go home and blow each other? I don't even, I don't really, I think that's what's going to happen. Yeah. I have noticed as the crowds expanding more, we're definitely seeing more women and more diverse

crowd. Cause those first, especially the first dates on that first tour, it was just me, it was a sausage. I mean, it's just dudes, which you can't really put out shit like this and complain when it's all dude. Well, I mean, like, honestly, as a, as a lady, I, I would be like, this guy's really funny. I feel like I get it. I don't know if I would go to a show cause I'm like, is it, is it going to be a bunch of dudes? Are they going to tear me apart? Yeah, like it's not like that, but you're saying there's women there. So that's great. What it is, I think is now, I think it's like a liberating, it's like, I work all fucking week and then Friday night, I'm going to get drunk and listen to these fucking, and I'm going to, it's good music. I'm going to dance and sing about

pussy. Yeah. And there's song, listen, I mentioned plenty of dicks and yeah. Right. There's dicks and pussies is what you're saying. Yeah. It's a good time for, actually, I forgot to, my manager was going to text and say which shows were hurting the most. So I could mention him here, but he never texted back. So fire his ass. I'm trying to think what it is. It's, the audiences are so weird too, because we do fine in the South, but our best audiences for whatever reason to the fucking West coast. Really? We sell out all up and down the West coast. Sars or West coast. West coast is great. Yeah. I think it's, maybe it's just that you don't get much country, I guess. Possibly. Or maybe just your themes resonate, you know.

Yeah. Maybe they like it up the ass here a little bit more. Maybe a little more honest about it, about what they like. By the way, how much effort do you think, like what type of thinking, planning, and time goes into Johnny Depp getting ready to go out? I know. Like, look. I know. You know, he's from my hometown. What? And I knew his cousin and his, his cousin's like, I don't want to say the guy's name, but I thought Depp was a stage name. It's not. I know his cousin. His last name is Depp. Oh, really? Yeah. I mean, isn't this like, I mean, just the coordination. Well, he's, but he's dressing like the pirate that he plays. Yeah. He's becoming fucking scarves. I know. What did he say the other day that he was going to like shoot the

president? Yeah, he made like some, and then he did, he issued an apology the next day. You got to watch that shit because they can. Yeah, you can't say that shit, man. Well, you don't want to be, especially if you're like that famous. If you're like that guy who's probably, he's probably doing drugs all the time. You can't have this secret service fucking watching you all the time. No. Yeah. He was like, when was the last time an actor shot the president? Oh, yeah. That kind of that's actually really hard to do to accessorize like that. That's what I'm saying. Like that looks like that's theoretically like just a shot that somebody grabbed, but that looks fucking posed as hell. Right. And that's, and that's just him at that thing.

But I mean, all this bullshit. You got to take all this off to shower. Oh, that's what I'm saying. He's not showering. Matcha meeting a girl. Fuck. Like if you meet a girl and just fuck her after this, like she's going to get her ass fucking bruised with all that metal banging against her. It's just like the thing that I, that I would not, I don't buy about this at all is that he's just like, I just put this on, you know, like, I just, I got up and I got dressed. No, you didn't. Yeah. I grabbed my key, attached it to a chain and put her on my neck. I got my eight scarfs out and I got out my 15 wristbands and necklaces. I think he's trying to be Keith Richards. I heard, I heard that before is that he really, I'd love to see him. Yeah. Yeah. Well, that character,

the pirate's character is supposed to be based on Keith Richards. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that's, that's probably what it is too. And I think Keith Richards is honestly, I think Keith Richards is like actually does probably fucking sleep in that shit and a bunch of shit and then just grabs shit to go. Like that's his, he's probably legit. Yeah, you're probably right. It takes so much energy that's, and I always admire that kind of that level of accessorizing on women. Like, I didn't talk a lot of thought, but it's not useful. Like I swim a lot and I have to take off every fucking chachki and the, you know, and the earrings. Isn't it crazy too that he's like, he's like the star, but he's like a big, he's like a kid's star, basically. Yeah. Yeah. I mean,

he's like, you know, crazy fucking dude who looks like that, who's like, his big hits are all kids movies now, right? It's nuts. Yeah. It's like Willy Wonka and stuff. True. So crazy. Do you want to, do you want to do one more before we bounce? Do you want me to? Yeah. Of course. We love it. I'll do one off, off the new record. Yeah. What's it, what's it called? This one's called Summers in Kentucky. Sometimes people get a couple radio stations occasionally. You'll see them in the charts and some of the titles of the songs are clean. Yeah. You can get themselves in a little SCC trouble by playing. Oh, because they'll be like, oh, Summers in Kentucky. We can play that. Oh, he's in, he's on the billboard charts and Summers in Kentucky is nice. That's really funny.

There's a video for this too that I was really happy with. And by the way, the one you sang before, what was the first? Fuck you bitch. That has a video. That's a video. Yeah. That's a good video. That one shot up. That one had a, like I said, Black Twitter must be huge because we had a huge couple weeks of that. That's awesome, man. So this is Summers in Kentucky off the new album Ole Wheeler. Ole Wheeler. Buy it on iTunes or Amazon or my website because we're having trouble, like those charts and not to kiss my own ass, but I will. Those charts are, it means something to me because it's not a level playing field. It's my fault, but you know, all those other guys are selling out at fucking Starbucks, Walmart, Best Buy. And there's giant racks of fucking, you know,

Chris Stapleton, who I love Stapleton, but you know, he's got giant racks of his shit at Walmart that people throw in their cart. He's selling 50,000 a week. It's just Walmart. Damn. And I fucked it up. I'm singing this garbage. This is Summers in Kentucky. I got cold feet. Summers in Kentucky, they were hard to beat. 25 years later, our lives have changed. Meeting girls on the road who are half my age. Sometimes I think about the creek when I'm on stage. Summers in Kentucky, man, I miss that place. I used to press your pussy up against my mouth. Now you've had a couple kids and it's all stretched out. Starting to think we could figure it out. Summers in Kentucky want to be back now.

If you ever feel like ditching your man, grab your kids hit the road with the contraband. There's room for all y'all inside of my van. We start our lives all over again. Heard you gained a few, got saggy tits, but who am I to say? Because I've aged like shit. It's why I think you'd be the perfect fit. Summers in Kentucky, man, I sure miss. I give up on the pussy and the young shape of bring your flabby ass black. Now what we know. You and I both are looking pretty rough. Summers in Kentucky, man, I miss that place. I think my favorite part is that you mentioned before you sang it that there's some trouble. I

could just see a program director scrambling from his office into the booth. That's about as far as I go with the serious song before it turns because that's a song. I was back in Kentucky and around Thanksgiving and a bunch of my friends were like, let's go to our high school reunion. I'm like, I didn't want to go, but I'm with them. Let's just go. It was that same old thing. There's the hot girl from high school and man, she looks disgusting. Of course, we're all just like, look at us. We're fucking worse. Also, we'd still fuck her. She had 12 kids and four marriages or whatever it was. And we're just like, I don't think I could have written that song without that kind of stretched out pussy language. It's a different song. But that definitely the visual

of people just being like, it's on the charts, press play. What we did for fun was we said, what you do is, I don't know how much you know about radio, but you do this where you set, you have a big announcement where you see that the song's going to radio. And the next week in the trade, you'll put out like 50 ads, like how many stations added across the country. So we actually sent that song to the country radio and then took out a big ad the next week and said, put up my pictures and said, thanks to country radio, zero ads. Because we got added to zero stations. Wow, very controversial. Because of that week, what they do is they're on these fucking stupid like zero stations. Yeah, billboard puts the charts, so and so Garth got the G-man,

got 50 ads, whatever. And they actually, they usually don't print, because everyone got zero, they usually don't print zero, but they printed me. We don't walk a junior summers in Kentucky, zero ads. Wow, that's too bad. That's their loss because I really think your song does, like you say, reflect reality. I mean, that is what your tits get soggy. Yeah, it's almost like it's like 2017. Why can't you say dirty word? I mean, I understand that's the law. It's the law, but I mean, silly. Why can't you fucking curse? I mean, I see SNL like kind of stirring around it, you know? I saw Chappelle doing some crazy shit on there. Yeah, why can't you just say pussy? It's not, who cares? And here's what I don't understand is, and what I said before is like, I heard pussy

on Meet the Press, I heard Trump saying, you know, play that clip. Right. It's like, so if I said it in like a mean way, it would work. I guess, if it's a pejorative way, right? It's still funny, like I've seen it like in a meme or something, but it's still kind of crazy that now when they talk about that, that pussy audio and that clip, they're like, the one guy, the one guy, one of the guys in this conversation got fired. Right. And the other guy's president of the United States, like the guy that actually said it as president, but we're still going to act like it's something that we, nobody can say or hear, you know? Yeah, exactly. It's like, you could, I mean, I assumed, I just assumed like everyone else, it was a, you can't say Graham, but

he's always like, I'm the smartest fucking guy. I'm like, I'm so smart. It's like, you bragged about grabbing people by the pussy with a microphone on. Right. Yeah. Like, come on, man, like, get in the game. That was a great song. That was awesome. It was really funny. Yeah. Well, listen to the listeners, listen to the album version, because this producer did an amazing job on that one. Well, check it out. Look, get the album. It's called Old Wheeler, Wheeler Walker Jr. And go see him live in concert. Go to WheelerWalkerJr.com and also, while you're at it, pick up the old one, the first one, redneck shit. I can't thank you guys enough, because like I said, it's been this podcast world that's really keeping me alive. Well,

there's no one else that'll have me. They're going to support you for sure, man. And it's, but it's this whole new, it's really, it's almost like underground radio in a way. It's this whole new thing, which people are underestimating. You know, like, they've been underestimating it, but they're starting to come around. I think so. But like, like I said, I had a top, you're not going to get any other top 10 country artists to stop them by here. I don't think. Yeah. But it's like, you're a first. But it's like, they should. Yeah, they should. Why wouldn't they, you know? Well, they're smart. You're a trailblazer. You're unique. You're an outcast. And I think that's why people appreciate your work. Thank you. I'll help it

keeps going because here's a, yeah. Oh, it's going to make this money back. No, you're going to check it out. Check out. Thank you guys for, as always, for listening to our Palmcast and here's ass liquor by our paths on the way out of here. Again, thank you to our guest, Wheeler Walker. Thank you for being here. It's great. This is a great Palmcast. Thank you very much. Female footwear for a man to be okay with his female licking his ass during the it. I get to lick your ass. To her, man. I'm gonna hate you.