Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - 421-Martin Riese-Yout Mom's House with Christina P and Tom Segura

Episode Date: November 8, 2017

The Water GOD is back in the building. Before we get to more hydrating satisfaction we have some GOOD stuff for you.  And nothing kicks things off like diarrhea. Public diarrhea. Have you ever just, you know, gone. In plain view. I'd like to hear about it.  We have MORE Machines Within and some NEW She's Retarded tracks.  Grab a bottle of mineral water and ENJOY!

I had a blast this past weekend. Albuquerque, San Blomantonio, and Momson Tejas. Amazing show. Thanks to everybody who came out. This week, it's a New York, my New York weekend. Jewdork titties. Jewdork titties. I'm in Port Chess Flaps, Port Chester, New York on Thursday, Friday. I'm at the Capitol Theater in Port Chester. Friday is sold out. It's been done, done, been sold out at Town Hall in New York. Thank you for everybody for getting those tickets. And Saturday, as of this recording, there were like a hundred and some tickets left. That's UB, I think, Center for the Arts in Buffalo, AKA Barfalo, New York. Then I come home, I'm doing Riverside, and I'm doing the Wiltern.

Two amazing cities. Riverside, my relatives live in. They're very excited you're coming, and the Wiltern, of course. Wiltern, my home. Yeah, here in Los Angeles. It's a big LA show. And then what comes after that? I go to Fartnix, Arizona. If you're in Phoenix, a lot of people have been hitting me up. Those shows are moving really well. And then Hawaii, I go to Maui, December 14th, and Honolulu, the Hawaii Theater, December 16th. I didn't know they even had structures like that, like theaters and stuff. He thought it was just all tiki-huts. Like pineapple stuff, like macadamia nut, trees. That's it.

So of course, very excited about Hawaii and all those shows. And that's that. Gene, what do you got? Well, January 12th here in Pasadena, I'm doing the Ice House. Very excited and amazed. And then February, this is in 2018, guys. January 12th of 2018. And then February 2nd, 3rd, 2018. Shartlake, shitty, Utah at Wise Guys Comedy Club. Get it? And then March 30th and 31st, Portland. I am returning to the great Portland, Oregon, Adherium Comedy Club. Wow. Get those tickets now on Christina P. Online. What's the big deal? That's great. I don't know. We're doing 28s. My mom's Australia shows are almost gone. So if you're living in mom's Australia, I'm coming to Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane, Perth. I do a perfect

Australian accent. Let's hear it. Melbourne, Perth. What do you want me to say? Sydney, Darling Habba, Bundy Beach. Yeah, that's where the crackers go though. Oh, where do the real fugs go? Different beaches you don't even know about. The real OGs. Brisbane, Brisbane, Brisbane. You can also help out the show by shopping through our website. You know what to do. It's all there. Just click on the bookmarked page and do your regular shopping, as you would. There's also very exciting additions to our store. And I only mention that because we also have a really great charity set up through one of them. There's Christmas stuff. I mentioned it last week. There is a Santa Claus wears jeans sweater. There's a Santa Claus wears jeans hat,

like a winter hat. A toboggan, as they call them. Yep. There's also Santa Claus is Asian, Santa Claus is black, and Santa Claus is Latino Christmas sweatshirts. But the sweater is a really top of the line amazing material. They're all great, but I'm saying the sweater is the only sweater. And that's 100% of that profit goes to toys for the Children's Hospital of Los Angeles. So we'll document all that for you, show you how it's done. But we're very excited to be participating in that. And I hope you guys like it. And I hope you get some Christmas gear. I know they told me it went on sale last week and people have already been getting it. So thanks very much for shopping in our store. Also, I have a store now because of my Netflix special.

I've got some jokes that I've made into t-shirts. Which is great. There's a blessing in the skies. There's Mama Wolf for all the moms out there. And oh, I'm fully vaccinated for all you pro-vaxxers. Show your solidarity. Small, small fringe group of pro-vaxxers. I've been getting a lot of email from those anti-vaxxers. They're a very vigilant group. They're very amusing writers. I've seen some of them. But it's great. So go to Christina P online or if you want to go to the store with the Christmas stuff, it's tomscara.com slash store page. You spell that with an S? I do. There's so much to get into. We got to even get into our circumstance. We're doing the show today. We'll get into all that. Oh my God. What a day.

Let's open this show. It's been a crazy day. Let's do it. Let's party. What the fuck are you doing, man? I got diarrhea. I got diarrhea. So you fucking come over on the side of the dumpster and take a shit? I'm throwing this stuff in the dumpster. I will pick it up also. Fuck. Get diarrhea. This shit is big time. Who is Randy? Don't bring anyone loving to this. Don't burn me in the fucking stand. Welcome to your mom's house with Tom Segura and Christina presents to Christina. Welcome to your mom's house. Oh, wow. You're really moving today, Tom. Yeah. I think that clip just turned my whole day around. Yeah, that's nice, right? That might be

my new favorite thing that's ever happened to me. I got diarrhea. Yeah, it's great. I don't know why the word diarrhea makes me laugh. You've always loved it. So much. Yeah. So much. You're very shit centered. Shit centered. I know. Anything duty. That's your wheelhouse. It makes me laugh so much. We have very distinct wheelhouses that make us laugh. You know? That's true. Because I know if I ever want to make you laugh around the house, I'll be like, did you fucking rip your tits off and shit on her face and then jack off into her eyes? Do you staple or tits the desk and look at, yeah, see? You gotta chuck all. And then with me, it's this duty all day, every day. It makes you always laugh. Yeah. What the fuck are you doing, man? I got diarrhea. So you fucking come

over on the side of the dumpster and take a shit? I'm throwing this stuff in the dumpster. I will pick it up also. I will pick it up also. Oh my God. Oh my God. I've had diarrhea my whole life. I never think to go like that. But that's a real emergency. I guess. I've had real emergencies, I feel like. I feel like you can almost always find somewhere to go. That's not a parking lot. Did I ever tell you the story about a guy I once met at a party and he goes, one time I was in Thailand and I was in a taxi cab flanked by these two girls. I was trying to press and he goes, I had about a diarrhea hit me so hard and we were like in like just traffic, like red light, nothing's going to happen. He goes, man, I was holding it in and holding it in and just sweating

and going through waves. And he's like, eventually I just wheeled it away. Yeah. That's what I've done. I've wheeled it away many times. It's really rough. Well, you know what your body will do? Your body will fight if you're trying to get laid. As a man, if you have diarrhea and you're like, there's a woman there. I'm trying to have your body. We will stop this diarrhea. It will step back inside you. The toxic sickness. Yes. So that you can get laid. Yes. Good priorities. That's how the male body and brain work. God damn it. I've got diarrhea. But how vulnerable, but you're so vulnerable. You're so vulnerable when it happens. Yeah. You kind of have to announce it like that.

I'm throwing this stuff in the dumpster. His shit covered paper. Stop it. I'm throwing this stuff in the dumpster. Is that Brody Stevens? That's how he says it. That's how to treat that guy. I mean, would you call him out though? I mean, I feel like I'd have empathy. Yeah. I'd be like, it's all right, dude. Just clean up. Just don't leave your toilet paper out here. Okay. No, I mean, there's a couple of things that he might know that guy as a guy that's kind of lingers and is always, you know what I mean? And a guy who is always like, Hey man, get the fuck out. Like you're, that guy's always making customers feel uncomfortable. He knows that guy. So it's like, it's sound almost familiar. Like, Hey man, the fuck are you doing?

Wait a minute. Do you know what that sound is? That's the sound of 500 emails pouring and telling us that they've done public diaries. Oh yeah. Yeah. I know. It's kind of, I've just heard the pings right now. Yeah, I know. It's going to be next week lit up with all the diaries stories. It's going to be, there they are. There's every email. Just pouring in. I've done it. I've shipped behind a dumpster. I've shipped on the side of the road. Now I have had to pee so badly. I almost did. I remember in college, sophomore year of college being in a girl's dorm room who was down to do it. And she was like, like, just like get comfortable. And I felt the diarrhea like strong. No, this is true. I remember this. Her name, her name, her name, I remember her name

was Mary Lynn. Oh, right? It's good. Like my friend. Yeah. Yeah. It was Mary Lynn. Her name was Mary Lynn. And she, uh, so anyways, I was like, I got a test in the morning. I got to get back. And I think she was like, wow, you're turning down. Yeah. So anyways, but I was like, I still gave her like a kiss and I go back to my room and it's a, like a black pool, like a, it's like a rotten just pool explosion. And it's so much so that my sweet mates, like not my roommate, but the sweet mates were like, what the fuck's going on in there? Cause they could hear the explosions and like, yeah, I know. I hear it every day. It was one of the most horrendous shits I've ever taken. I remember the shit so well. And then I clean up and I'm like, I can't go back there

now. You know, like I said, like, cause I, I basically, what I wanted to do was shit at her place and then try to get laid, but I knew I could feel what it was. I know I could feel what it was. Like if it would have been one thing if I'm like, I kind of got a shit. Maybe I've been, you can't, but you can never get away with shitting at a girls house and her not knowing. Yeah. And also like then we're, then we're going to do it. It's just like, so it would be first time doing it. So, uh, the next day her friend was like, oh my gosh, you're such a cool guy. And I go, what? She's like, you know, like most guys would have just like jumped at the opportunity or whatever, but like you're like, whatever. I have to, like she thought I was being respectful

right of her, of her and not like not wanting to rush things. Wow. Isn't that crazy? How did we talk ourselves and everything? I was like, I just had this shit so bad that there was no way I could do it. So, uh, but I was like, yeah, no, I know. I am a nice guy. I just respect her so much. You know, Maryland's like such a good girl. Yeah. She's just really cool. Yeah. That's really funny. You know, on time, man, I was working as like a PA and uh, this guy was hosting some TV show when I was a PA and I remember I had to shuttle him around that day and we were in the Beverly, some Beverly Hills mall, right? Beverly sir. And I remember that dude had to shit really badly and I'll tell you what is off, off mic, but we're going down

this escalator and I just saw it on his face. Like he really had to shit. He's a celebrity. Yeah. And I was like, dude, do you have to shit? Like I just called him out. Yeah. I was like, do you have to go shit or something? And he's like, yeah. Like he didn't want to admit that I was right. And then I was like, toilets right there. Dude, like just go shit. Like I think he was trying to play it cool around me. He's your girl. Yeah. And you're attractive. Yeah. That's why. Yeah. Nobody, it doesn't matter. Like he could be whatever, uh, like on his honeymoon and like he, you still don't want to be like to a girl like, I got a shit bad. Not you. You're the exception. Doug Mallard and his fiance came over, a gorgeous blonde hair, brown night, like pretty sweet girl.

Yeah. You sat at the dinner table. Yeah. You lived your ass cheeks. You farted. Yeah. And then you went, I got to take a shit. And then I went and shit. And then you shit. Yeah. And not even buy another bathroom away from us, like the kitchen bathroom that everyone uses. And we can hear you through the door. Like you didn't even try to. That's different. Go down the hall. That's different. How's that different? Well, I, first of all, they're like family. I mean, like Doug and Flynn have, have been on the road. That's a different level because I'm comfortable. I'm saying like a stranger. Like if it's like you met someone and you're like, Hey, I just met you. Oh, yeah, it's hard. It's harder to be like, I got a shit, you know. Yeah. Yeah. I've never shit

in, in not a toilet. Do you know what I'm saying? Like unless I've been in Asia and like I've had to squat on the, on the ground, like in Kyrgyzstan, I had to do that. But you know, I've always held it. Now P, I peed everywhere. I feel like I peed all over the earth. I peed on the side of the freeway. I pissed in some wild places. Yeah. I mean, I pissed on public transportation. Haven't we all at some point? I pissed backstage at shows where the bathroom was inaccessible. I know. I was with you one time. Yeah. Yeah. And I've done that multiple times. I pissed in a trash can backstage one time. Well, because you can't. Well, people don't know that thing of like, they're like, you're up. Yeah. And by the way, you're going to be up there 60, 70 minutes

and you're like, I got to piss real quick. And they're like, Oh, there's no bathroom around here. Yeah. And you're like, well, I got to go. And they're like, well, you know, just hold it for an hour and change. Oh yeah. No, I'm not doing that. Oh yeah. Or there's nowhere for you to shit before the show. So you got to go shit where the audience shits. And everyone is like, Hey, aren't you the, aren't you the girl that's gonna, I'm just taking a shit. See you out there. Shitting with the audience is terrible, man. It's terrible. It's not fair. It's certainly not fair. Well, we should establish this. We're jumping all over. So today we had an emergency. Our reliable and wonderful nanny who comes on this day always at a certain time

and we do this show usually in a certain window called in and had like some family stuff, right? She has a family emergency. Yeah. And we're like, Oh, that's the worst day to call in like that. This is our podcast and we have, you know, we've tight schedule. I'm in town. I'm in LA 48 hours. I know. So I was like, oh, bad week for this. So actually, and we also had scheduled Martin Risa, the water sommelier. I know. So it was all like set up to go. And then everything got thrown away. So anyways, I ended up doing, I ended up doing the water session segment with Martin, which is that tagged on to the end of this episode. It'll be Christina and I and then Martin. I was watching the baby jeans and I put him down for his nap.

And now we have maybe 45 minutes to get through. We just don't know. We don't know how much, I mean, the baby could freak out. We have the monitor here. It's just the way it goes. This is one of those old school podcasts. We used to do this when he was first a baby. He'd be in the next room and we'd do the show during his nap. And we would stop when we'd hear cries. Yeah. So you do it guys. This is the real your mom's house. Hopefully he just crashes hard here. Oh, he was up at like 5am because of the time change. Yeah. And then, you know, he's all fucked up because that one hour dude really messes up babies. Well, yeah, it does. It fucks up. And then our front gate malfunction and then like, what else went wrong? You forgot

you had a meeting. I had a fucking meeting. Yeah. It was just today's not a good day. No, but it just got better with that diarrhea clip. The diarrhea clip really opened up. Really did. My happiness. Can I, man, and you know what else I've been thinking about? My friend, Sean, I came. I got diarrhea. See, there it goes. The joy comes back into my life. Well, my friend, Sean, I came to visit me, my BFF. And, uh, and she listens to the show with her husband, Jimmy. Yeah. And she goes, we were, we were talking upstairs. She goes, man, that guy who takes attendance will Benadryl. She goes, I take one and I'm like anxious and sweating. So fucking weird. It's like, who can take that many Benadryl? I know, I know.

She takes them regularly for her allergies and she said that is way too much. You think that's a lot? I mean, what about this guy though? Black guys love to fuck and fuck good. If you're a hot black guy, you want to fuck me at 23.95. If you want to move in, you can move in, but you got to fuck me. I mean, I need to be fucked a lot. We got it. We got it. What do you think's the point of that? He really needs it. He gave out, he gave out that address. Now, don't you think a Craigslist ad would suffice? Like he needs to put a YouTube video out. I think he really wants, I think he's trying to step it up. He's very indiscriminate. Think about like a written ad. It's like, you know, and here he's showing the goods here.

He's saying like, it's what I look like. Yeah, it's bad. I chill. I got some nice pillows. Do you want to fuck or what? Yeah. You can move in here. Your friends can move in here. Are you out of jail? Are you a homeless bum? Do you want to piss on me? Beat me up? I mean, do you really? Somebody, by the way, can definitely satisfy all of his needs. I know. There's a person right now who's like, check, check. I'm in, dude. I'm out of jail. I'm homeless. I'll piss on you. I'll beat the shit out of you and I'll fuck you. And it's free rent. Yeah. And my friends can come. He gives it up to his friends. It's all winner. It's really one of the more substantial guys we've ever played on this show. That is quite a singles ad. You

don't really get to see those very often. And again, I think I said it last week, but I think everybody understands the sentiment, the impulses of saying that, but there's a big part of you when you feel like, when you feel like I want to get fucked, that goes, maybe I shouldn't make this video and put it online though. What do you imagine the response was to that? Especially now that we've broadcast it, someone listening, some, some derelict listener of this show was like, yeah, that sounds great. The crazy thing is that, yeah, I know. The crazy thing is wherever this is originally posted has his full home address. Like we edited out for his sake. Right. Right. But his full home address is like, whatever, 123 Main Street.

He's like, that's where I live. If you want to come over here and piss on me for free rent and bring your out of jail friends too. Bananas. What is wrong with people? I think it's crazy to even show what neighborhood you live in on Instagram. Yeah. Let alone, you know, giving out your Addy. It's really wild. You want to piss and shit. His cadence is so, it's that weird guy cadence too. Yeah. It's like that psychotic East coast. Fuck me. Yeah. Like, yeah, you want to piss on me? Try that. I don't want to be fucked. There's no break in the words. They run together. I know that that's a real sign of a psycho is when there's no pauses, you know, no contact, no blinking. By the way, so, you know, I think I've,

I've told stories on this podcast about how as I tour, you know, especially for the first like nine months of this tour, every time I go to stage, you know, I'm walking onto the stage in some pretty big rooms. As the applause dies, there's kind of like that moment, right? So you grab the mic, they're clapping and you go, thank you. Thanks a lot. And it's like, as you're about to start doing standup, right? There's that moment. Yes. A lot of times it was, Hey, Hitler, right now it'd be like, Jesus Christ. Yeah. Now. Yeah. Machines within. People are screaming machines within. Oh, I like that. Yeah. Well, it's a hit song and we turned it into a smash hit. Yeah. I feel like we are responsible and our audience is responsible. Yeah. Of course.

Creating such a great song. Amazing submissions came in. Amazing. I've got this email that I'm dying to read. Okay. I got, I came into that's deep bro, which I think is really funny. But anyway, continue talking as well. Yeah. Okay. Well, I have another machines within. Oh my God. Great. I thought I would share it with you. Looks like there's a video component to this one as well. Here we go. Soft Rockers. I love it. By Elliot. I like it. Yeah. There you go. It's good.

It's really good, actually. The video is great. It's really great. My rap. Is this your thing on? No. No. It's really good. I'm impressed. Yeah. Machines within. That's great. Oh, it's so good. I mean, come on. It's deep. Yeah. Like they made it a soulful. Yeah. This is a soulful thing. Elliot says by Elliot. Yeah. I'm impressed. I'm impressed. I really liked it. Yeah. Do you have any other ones? Well, that's all I see in here for machines within submissions, but we have some new,

she's retarded songs. Good. So this is, she's retarded. It's called, It's Developmentally Disabled by Daniel T. I'm retarded. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. She's retarded. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. She sounds retarded. There you go. That's really good. Daniel T. Thank you for that one. This is Retarded Jeans by Patty, Patty Boo. Everybody evacuates. She's retarded. I told you, I'm retarded. She's retarded. I told you, I'm retarded. She's retarded. Oh, it's good. Yeah.

Kind of a chill vibe that I like that. I told you how that when the started, she's retarded. Yeah. It's kind of neat. This is called, she's retarded light, light jazz by Yiros. Yeah. Okay. I like it. Oh, oh, Jazzy. I like that. Different. I like the different styles. David Brubeck. Is it David Brubeck? She's retarded. Nice build. Oh, I like this. You don't normally hear light jazz like this. No. She's retarded. Yeah. I like this a lot. Oh, wow. She's retarded. All right. I like that. I guess who I met on Saturday. Who? Gaping Dad. You're kidding.

He came to my show in Austin. Well, he's like your mom's house celebrity at this point. For sure. And he's made incredible, incredible songs. Wow. And you know, I told him, I go, I want to thank you for all the songs you've made. You're definitely on our top, you know, top tier music. The songs that he's submitted have been incredible. And he goes, oh, thanks. And then he goes, I'm working on a she's retarded one. I cannot wait to get off. I don't have that yet, but you can't rush a genius. No, you know, but I believe in Nate from Indy who submitted a great, I think he submitted a machines within song also submitted a she's retarded song. And he, he's an actual, you know, guitar player and singer. So remember. Oh, yes, this guy.

She's retarded. There you go. Well, I feel like that one really got the message across of like the distinction between being retarded or mentally disabled. Yeah. And it's such an important distinction. Some people are just retarded, you know. Let's say that's what that guy was trying to say. Right. Her shit's all fucked up. She's retarded, man. Like, and he wasn't trying to say she has downs. She's mentally disabled. No, she does retarded shit all day. She's retarded. Yeah, like that. Do you really think that's the hidden meaning of she's retarded? 100%

Is that she acts out all the time? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Look at Sally. Sally's just retarded. She's retarded. Yeah. So silly. Yeah, I think so. Man, these songs, I tell you every now and then we hit a wave of real talent submissions on this show. And this is one of those times. Yeah. Yeah. When these songs come in, it's like, it's really one of my favorite things that happens. Really, really, really makes me happy. Can I read this email? Of course. Read the email. This is funny. So it says, hi, Christina. I was listening to your mom's house episodes where you're discussing showering with Tom. I don't know if you guys remember that episode, but

it started when we lived in the other house a year ago. And Tom and I showered together on occasion, not so much anymore, just for logistic reasons. Yeah, with the kid, yeah. But you came in and you peed on me and it smelled like you had dumped an entire carafe of coffee into the shower because you don't hydrate a lot. And that's what started this whole water champ. Look what you're drinking now. Does that look like water to me? It looks like coffee. So it's disgusting. And then you blew snot rockets and then the snot got stuck in your beard. And then you just, you look like a hobo. It's like showering with a guy who would die. Yeah. You're like the guy taking diaries on the, on the, uh, diaries. So she writes,

and I'm 21 years old and I've never showered with the guy. The thought of being in a shower with a guy as he's washing his butthole just never appealed to me. I have worked in the nursing aid field for a couple of years and I'm currently in nursing school. Maybe all the years of bathing, pervy old men turned me off to the idea. The last time I stayed at my booze place, he mentioned that we showered together. I told him I didn't want to and he thought that was weird. What should I expect from my first time showering with a guy? How do I make washing my armpits sexy? Are blowjobs a requirement or is it supposed to be cute or both? That's a really good question. And I think, you know, sweet sounds like a sweet lady, 21,

young. I think first of all, if, uh, if it's her BF, um, well, first of all, you know your BF. You know what I mean? Like if he's, you think you know your BF and then you shower with him and figure out he's a hobo that blows Scott Rockets knees on you for years at that point. What I'm saying is that I don't know what stage of BF this is, but obviously it's, it's a stage where they spend the night at each other's house. She's been with him for a while. So it's not like it's a new, new thing. I think more than likely, if he's asking you to shower for the first time and it hasn't been done, he doesn't want to screw that up for the next hour. Not the first time. Yeah. Right. So I think I'll do that stuff later.

Your first time, you have nothing to worry about. Like he's going to be on probably good behavior. He's going to soap your back. He's going to do like, yeah. He'll let you have the hot water and then that switches very quickly. Cause when that's why we don't shower together, is that I'll be in the hot water enjoying myself and then you will physically grab me and pull me out of the water and then take it yourself. I would rephrase that. No, that's what you do. I would rephrase that. I would say that I would like some, some hot water, not scorching hot water. So I have to move you and turn the hot water down, which is actually saving hot water for you. Cause I take human showers. Yeah. But you pull me out of the stream

and then I suffer. I need it for a moment. But look, I think it'll probably be a nice thing. And you don't have to like, yeah, you soap wherever you want. He's going to probably, he's not going to wash his asshole in front of him. No, he's not. No, no, no, no. No, he'll, he'll put that off. Yeah. No, he'll wash his dick and balls. He'll wash that. And he'll probably like try to get a couple of grabs, you know, probably, probably stick his finger in your crack. He'll soap up your back. See, no, you're, that's where you're wrong because not all men are as derelict as you are, where you do that, where you used to spread my butt shakes with your fingers, your golfing plants. What do I, what's that weird? Right. Not all guys do that kind of stuff. You

think it's playful, the, but I'll tell you that, but you're definitely, you know, rare. I'd never had a boyfriend that would do all that mean stuff to me. What was mean? Spreading my butt cheeks with your finger. Remember, I used to take your video, you go like that. And like, why are you spreading them peeing on me? I didn't have a boyfriend that did that until you said that the spreading was menacing. Menacing. Yeah. I didn't like it. I didn't like it. I just tolerated it because I love you. I didn't do it. It's another red flag I should have paid attention to probably. There's a few, right? Oh, so many. Well, your love of sociopaths and murderings and stuff like that. That was a big red flag. Yeah. You didn't use soap in your shower, stuff like that.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You're washing, you're washing your crotch with shampoo. That's what people do. No, not all people. Everything I did to you is normal. Yeah. Sure, it is now. This gave me a laugh. I thought you might like this. This lady. She's retarded. Is retarded going through her car wash. It's a tree, tree, ocean creature. There's some over here, man. Oh, the moon is blue and purple. Look. Oh my God. Yeah. Having a good time, right? Yeah. Enjoying the car wash. Starts to leak. Oh my God. They just fucked up the interior of their car big time. She had moose soup vibes.

Definitely. Same. Yeah. Yeah. So basically, for those who aren't watching on YouTube, the sunroof leaked and this woman is in a drive through car wash and all the water just got in her interior fucked up her car. So it looks like what probably happened is the interior slide door is closed and I bet you the top window is that elevated position. The glass. You know how they have that feature though where you can be like cracked? Like it's not open back, but it's like lifted up. Sure. So you can have like a breeze of air. Oh my gosh. And I think she she didn't realize that. That's terrible. Yeah. That's pretty bad. That your car is over. Oh, man. I'd be so, I'd be just as pissed as she is. Oh, just terrible. That's really,

really. Your car is totally ruined. Yeah. And they've got leather interior. It was pouring. It wasn't trickling in, especially on the passenger side. Look how much water is pouring. It's trickling in there, but look to the right here. There. It's a lot. That is a bummer. You're right. I think it's cracked up. Yeah. I think it's propped up. Yeah. And whose fault would that be? I don't know. I think it would be the driver's fault. Yeah, that's true. It's her car. Damn, dude. She's super pissed. Car washes are fun when you're sitting in the car. Yeah. It still is a thrill. Of course. Yeah. I don't like it when they take my car. I like to sit in it. Yeah, it's a. Yeah. Similar. This is very similar. Could be her.

Yeah. Has a dirty bitch. Bitch. Right. It has kind of that vibe. Yeah. Yeah. So maybe her cousin here. Oh my gosh. Right. You hear the little mix up there? Oh, dirty son of a. It's very close. Oh, shit. Wow. Yeah. That was very close. That was awesome, Gene. That was pretty good. You guys are doing good. You guys are doing good. There you go. Close. So this is interesting. An armless wiping solved mystery. I was listening to episode 420. I had an epiphany. I worked at a movie theater for years. Once while I was working a co-worker walked into the handicap washroom and found shit covered toilet paper wrapped around the grab bar next to the toilet. I have spent years pondering how this happened. It is now obvious to me that

an armless person had an emergency brown, wrapped the toilet paper around the bar with their highly skilled feet and then rubbed up on it. Obviously, after they were done, they had no way of getting it off without getting their feet covered in shit. Mystery solved. I hope this was of some help. Machines within. There it is. Wow. The machines within greeting. I'm telling you. It's a whole new thing. It's a whole thing now. Wow. That's an interesting theory. I don't see why not. Yeah. It's possible. It's definitely possible. Zimzer in gender specific. Hi, Hitler's. God damn it. When trying to be sensitive to people's pronouns, what do those who speak big words with gender types in their speech do? Spanish, French, Italian have non-Zimzer types

in their words built in and will never be able to respect the pronoun because so many words being masculine, feminine, that is fucking brilliant and that is so true. Are these languages doomed to be cis, scum speech for all eternity and should we be eliminating them to make sure everyone is safe? Please respond with your wisdom. Running the industry. Wow. Alan, that is so good. That is so good. That's a really good point because the respectful languages, the Germans, they have neuter form, right? Right. But they're right here. There are some languages that don't have a neutral, a new gender neuter. And he is such a good question as someone who speaks, you know, decent Spanish. I can tell you that you're always constantly trying to remember,

you know, like somebody, like I've said, I, you know, my Spanish has definitely gone downhill because I don't use it as much as I used to. But that is a thing where it's like, is it, is it masculine or feminine? Is the word el or la? La mesa or el mesa, right? Is it la? La mesa. Yeah. Right. Because it ends in, I don't know. There's so many exceptions. So you're attributing a feminine, you know, oh my gosh, title to the word, right? Of course. So then how are the non-binary people going to tolerate this in these land speaking? Because you have to say something to somebody in countries. Uh, te gusta? And they'd be like, uh,

so what would they say? I have no idea. Actually, that's why I'm fascinated by this. How do, how does this, this whole movement of gender pronouns affect people that don't speak English? Because we have been just been tied into the English-speaking world. Right. And we've, we've seen the documentary, that vice documentary that was it Sweden? Yeah. I think it was. They have Hen, which is the neutral, right? And he was like, or it, they were like, do you want to be like a woman or a gender neutral today? And then the kid was like, I just want to go by my name. How about Mark? Yeah. I know it's so funny because, um, Ellis is about the age of the kid that they're asking on a daily basis what they feel like.

And I'm, I'm like, look at it. My kid, like, he doesn't even understand the question. Like, there's, there's no debate in his mind. Like about what gender? Yeah. It's just not on the table yet. Yeah. It's a little kid. It's conf, I think you're confusing him. I'm sorry, them a little bit. They get confused, but in, in, I'm interested in the Latin speaking. If anyone out there has any insight into whether Spanish, French, Italian speakers, how they approach somebody who's like, I'm not either gender. How do words then get used? Cause words are very much, they have a, um, a gender like tie into them in those languages. Yes. There's very, there's a few ways. I think you can say something gender neutral. That's true. That's absolutely true. Well, in German,

you have D, dare and Doss. Those are three different feminine, masculine and neuter. And you have to fucking memorize every word with D, dare, Doss. That's terrible. Yeah. So hard. Interesting. Where do non-binary's go to prison? Well, that's cool. Well, in California, didn't we just have the thing, the transgender people, which is what this person asked. They say, I heard that California allowed to put a third gender on your license separate from male or female. So I was thinking, if you're one of those people and you have to go to prison, do you go to male prison or a female prison? Thanks. Fish abuser. Well, I mean, if they're non, they're non-binary, I'm, you know, I would assume they put them with the women. I think

we need to build new prisons entirely. You're right. It makes sense. Makes sense. Yeah. For that community. No, I think they do send them to the women's. I think it's to get the guys, you know what it is? It's so that the guys don't get the shit beaten out of them with dudes. But let's say I'm saying, let's say I go, Hey, I'm non-binary and, and then the state recognized it. They go, Tom Segura, non-binary, right? It's on his driver, then their driver's license. Right. And I commit a crime and I get sentenced to prison and I go, I'm not male. I can't go to a men's prison. No, they already acknowledged that I'm not, I'm not a man. And you're not a female either. No. So I don't know, dude. We'll have to figure what to find out.

Yeah. Well, because this is such your wheelhouse, I thought I would play this special treat for you. Is it diarrhea and non-binary together? Well, it's very educational. Okay. And you're a reader, you're a learner. Yeah. But I think it's your type of education. Okay. Okay. Hey, everybody, it's Steven Seva here and I'm here to talk to you about something that's near and dear to my heart. And I call it sacred releasing. Okay. Here we go. So what sacred releasing is, is it's a way of transforming using the toilet, going to the bathroom from something that's mundane into something that's really magical, transforming it into a sacred ritual. Isn't it always? I feel like it's always pretty awesome. I think he points out one of your big flaws. How present are you when you're

going to the bathroom? And the reason why I'm asking that is because I know we have this tendency in our society in the stay in age to be toilet textures. You know, we go to the bathroom with a phone and then we can be sitting on the toilet. Thanks for the reenactment. We're totally not looking at our phone. Yeah. Yeah. That's, that's why I call sacred releasing transforms and honors this letting go process, this releasing process that is using the toilet. This might be my second favorite new clip in the whole world. That's pretty great. Sacred releasing. I love that. You definitely thought it was jizzing though, right? Yeah. I thought we were doing another come thing. Why didn't even know this was an option for me? It's funny that you love shitting and I love jizzing.

Yeah. Yeah. More shitting clips because I feel like we've been a little jizz heavy. Okay. This is my wheelhouse. Now I thought that's why you took a shit was to catch up on your emails and your texts and your sacred releasing. So he's just arguing that you should be more present. More mindful, more thoughtful and more appreciative of your body processing that shit. Yeah. Why are you sitting there doing other things you should be thinking about this moment? But I feel like you process your dumps. I like them. Yeah. You like candles and you pray. I don't pray, but I'm in there. I like a full report afterwards. You tried so much in our spiritual communities that people do this really beautiful, nice, gratitude filled prayer-like ritual

pre-eating a meal. And then when it comes out the other side, run a phone. Right. Right. It's great logic. Right. What? Why isn't that prayer happening on the toilet? What? Now that it's been digested, it's not good enough for you anymore. It's an interesting topic. Should we be like, I got to take a shit and then be like, dear God, thank you for this shit. Thank you for helping me get through my system and then kind of really losing yourself in it. Like as it kind of pushes out, especially those growlers, those really fierce ones. I don't know. I mean, I think it's kind of interesting. I feel like there should be a whole sect of religious people that are devoted to this. You know how there are monks that starve themselves? I bet you there's a whole

sect of people who just worship their duties. Oh, there's people. There's some people that have other people worship their duties. People like her, her buddy. They get in there. Do we have to be present all the time? That's the question I would ask him is like, dude, listen, taking a dump is probably one of the most enjoyably mindless things I get to do every day. That's why it's awesome. It's you alone or sometimes with a toddler on your lap or a toddler running around, but mostly alone. Yeah. Or you check out and you just enjoy a body function. Yeah. Why do I have to fucking? Can we just be mindless? Yeah, totally. What am I supposed to leave it in a different room and just set it aside and don't even go to the bathroom with your phone? What I'm encouraging

and supporting you to do is to leave the phone out of the bathroom completely. And what I encourage you to do is just drop in with yourself and let this be a moment where you honor the sacred bringing in and letting go process that is this sacred rhythm that we have in life and in the universe. Kind of a beautiful statement though. Yeah. I like his earrings. Those are unique. They're alternative. Like they look spicy, the spiky and hurtful. Like they look like they hurt. Yeah. I'm getting my ears pierced. Both of them. Yeah. It's a really good idea. You don't like it? I didn't say I didn't like it. You said it was a really good idea, but I sensed like some type of you know sarcasm. What kind of earrings are you going to get? I'm going to start with gold studs.

Yeah, definitely. And then I'm going to, I'll do hoops and then I'm going to do diamonds. I like diamonds on you. You look good. You think so? Sparkling. You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to get a tattoo. I've been talking about it for a long time. Okay. I want to get those knuckle tats we've been talking about. Oh yeah. Just fucking money on there. Yeah. I think you should have fucking money before you get it. True. That's a problem. That'd be funny if you're doing your next special and it's like, fuck you. You're holding the mic. Like it would be great if Seinfeld had those for this late special and it said fuck you money on his hands. I'd be like, that's awesome. Yeah. But I think you don't want to get that tattoo. Probably wait. Yeah. Yeah,

but I do like those knuckle tats that's going to happen in this lifetime. And I feel like you want a tat. You've been talking about it. It's my like midlife crisis thing. Yeah. I've been reverting to my goth stuff a lot, but I do. I kind of want a tat, dude. Is there any place you're considering? Yeah. The inner arm here. Yeah. Yes. The form. The problem is, is that I feel like in 10 years when I'm a 50 year old woman, I'll feel like a dick bag. I don't think so. I feel like a fucking asshole. I really don't think so. You don't think it'll be undignified when I'm like 80? First of all, you have to have it tastefully done. You got to have it done by a good artist. And there's definitely a dignified way of doing it. Yeah. What if it's a sacred poop?

Like my favorite poop. What do you mean? You don't have a favorite bowel movement in your life. Are you going to, you're saying you're going to date it? Commemorate it. So you'll be like eight, 16. Yeah. People will be like, oh, someone died. I'd be like, no, it's my favorite dump. That's my best shit. All right. You already have the message in mind? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I want like my kid's name or something. Yeah. My son. My son, not your son. Right. Definitely portraits of our dogs too. Why don't you have his face? It always looks good when somebody has their child's face tattooed on them. It never looks bad. No, always looks good. No, forever, forever my child. He'll be like, as your skin changes and it looks like he was in some type of chemical warfare accident.

Yeah. I do like a trident or an octopus or something like that. An octopus? Like a cool one. Maybe shelve your idea for a while, 20, 30 years and revisit it. I know. That's why I get the urge that I'm like, I should hold off. I like your idea. I think it'll look cool. Well, the bad idea in the nineties of getting a fucking tramp stamp of a dragon. Yeah. Look how that one. Yeah. Your aim here thing. Yeah. I hate it now. Thing is though, do I go through the pain of removing it or do I just like fuck it? Just I don't know. It depends on how much it bothers you. It's embarrassing. Remove it. Yeah. But I think the one you have in mind is actually cool. I really do. My kid's name. I think it's an old English though. Yeah. On my chest.

Chest. I would do paws. I love those. Those chest paws. Eve has those. Yeah. Those are fucking super weird, right? Why the cat paws on her chest? I always wondered. It shows you fun times. Yeah. Kitty plays with Titty. That's the whole idea. Oh, it's like when your cat steps on your chest and she's like commemorating where the cat steps on her. Yeah, exactly. Like, you know, when bitsy steps on your chest. You're just getting you to look at titties. It's just like, I'm fun. Don't you look though. Don't you slut shame me. Don't you look at my titties because I have tattoos on them. There's a lot of... This is my favorite. I've seen a lot of tattoos. Like, if you kind of go down rabbit holes of horrifically terrifying ones near gendals, it's pretty crazy. You know what

I'm talking about? Yes. Like people have like the devil tattooed above their box. So it looks like the devil's mouth is your Vajayjay. It's such a choice. Crazy one. Like one guy had a poison, the word poison tattooed on his dong and then arrow pointing towards the tip. That's pretty cold. That's crazy talk. God damn, man. Or there's a real... If you go... I mean, they're all over, but like crazy asshole ones where it's something demonic and then your asshole is... It's drawn on there so that your asshole is the mouth. So it's like, ah, it's like a crazy demon and then your mouth, the mouth is... I mean, like, I don't know. And then people have put like funny things, you know, around their assholes, which I guess I appreciate it as a comedian and just as a human

being, but you're also getting your asshole tattooed. That's the thing I think about is that, I mean, listen, I've only had the tramp stamp and that wasn't comfortable, but I can't imagine the asshole being an easy place to tattoo. It's got to be nuts. It might be the most sensitive, besides your genitals, I mean, or your eyelids. I don't even know how they give eyelid tattoos. I've seen those on television, not very often in real life. Just on those crime shows. You see, there's some inmates with eyes. I've seen eyelids. I've seen, you know, whole face is just nuts. It's wild. The face is bold. Inner lip. I've seen that. I've seen that. You know, the... That's not so bad. That doesn't last forever. You know that? Yeah. I've seen a

bottom of a foot tattoo, which I'm like, that's just for you, for your amusement. Sure. But also, I feel like that would be painful and not good. Super painful. But I feel like, yeah, face is pretty crazy. And I like the neck actually. I do like a chest piece. Yeah. I like it on girls when I see it. It looks really tough. I like it. Are you like the toughness of it? Yeah. Yeah, I like it. You like throat? You like throat and stuff? I do. Actually, there was a drug dealer that I went to college with and he had... Oh, that's a nice story. A lot of throat tats. And he had like, he was like a white guy with dreads, but he wore, he rode a motorcycle. Like he was, he was tough as fuck actually. He had the knuckle tats, the neck. Yeah. I mean, but some dudes,

it's like they're born that way. Like they look good. This guy was hot. Everyone wanted to bang him. With his dreads? See, that's where you lost me. I'm like, no, I want to bang that white guy. Yes, everybody did, dude. He was hot. White guy with dreads. I'm telling you, it's very rare, but this boy was so goddamn... You know how like a dude figures out a look? Yeah. And you're like, that was his look, dude. Knuckle tats, throat, dreads, blonde, like bleached white. And then... So you think the dreads looked good? Yes. I'm saying, and I don't say this, I'll never say this again. Mac, maybe Rob Zombie can pull it off and this guy. So did you guys make love? I wish, no, but my roommate at one point did. The one who I would

predict would? Like if of knowing the, for the roommates? No, you don't even know this girl. No, no, no. She, you wouldn't even know her. And if she'd give you like stories, was she like... Yeah, she felt, she fell in love with him. Oh, really? The campus drug dealer. And then he was like, nah, cause he had this really cute girlfriend that he was with and he kind of cheated on the girl. Well, yeah, he's a throw tattooed white guy with dreads. I'd most like quirky cheats on him. Dude, he even had like a hot ass friend, you know, and like hot dudes, they were all like their best friends hot, but the thing is they were like 25 at the time. You know what I'm saying? Like I was a freshman in college and these dudes were like 25 and still in college and dealing drugs.

I know that laying well because I'm one of those guys. I've been the hot guy and like I walk in, it's like me, Josh Potter, you know, all my friends. Yeah, we're super hot. Sickler, which is hot guys, which is how we roll. Cause we know the post is we gotta knock that shit down and you'd help. You can't be like, I can't fuck all this tonight. I can't fuck all this tonight. Well, but that, I can't even imagine what that's like as a young man to be that guy that all the girls want to bang. Yeah, it's probably overwhelming. I'm assuming. I'm sure he had hepatitis or something. He was probably nasty as hell. He wasn't clean. Definitely. He did, but he probably lived his best life. I mean, think about it. He's got a motorcycle. Oh, I did. He got a throat tattoo.

Money. Definitely bad decision. I don't care about the hair where you think it's a bad decision. So he made a bad decision, but he, he embraced it. Yeah. He's got, he's selling drugs. Yeah. All the chicks liked him. He's getting box. Yeah. Girlfriend was hot. Girlfriend's hot. He's fucking, yeah. He lived his best life. He did. It'd be awesome if you could get an update on him right now. Whoever went to school with me and you're listening, you know who I'm talking about. If you can text some friends, give me, give me the update and get that Facebook page. I can't actually, I know who knows and get, get a look, get a gander of what's going on now. If he's alive, because I would say he was on the fast track to dying. You see, right? Because he did a lot of

the bad drugs. I do know. I have an update on the hot friend. Yeah. Sarah sent it to me. He's not hot anymore. He is, he is kind of 20 years. I mean, yeah. He's pudgy and like he's like everybody now, middle-aged. There's a window for that kind of shit, dude. You still, you got to get your tat. You're going to regret not getting your tat. I feel like that's what this whole thing was about. You got to get your tat, man. You're saying I should have slept with a campus drug dealer too. A hundred percent. If you would have had that story right now, I would have loved it. I didn't do anything sexually advantage. And if you were like, dude, he, he did things to me like I'd never heard of and like it hurt, but like, and I cried a lot, but it was like, it was still

good. Yeah. And you know, sure. Then this hot friend came in and I was, I was airtight. Stop yourself. You know what? So I was talking about, I feel like this whole thing about, you know, we're, we allowed, we should do a slut walk. Everyone's allowed to be a whore. I feel like we've always been allowed to be a whore. Like I don't know what these uptight girls are. Like in the nineties, all my friends were sluts. It's all the whores. It's just whores. All doing it is people who have their, they have insecurities about being the whore. In other words, they're judging that girl that sleeps around and they feel weird about it. Like they want to be as comfortable as she is with it. Yeah. Cause like everyone loves whores when it works. Dude, all

my friends were hoes and all every, nobody talks shit to them. No, everyone loves it. And especially in San Francisco, when I went to college, it was like, cool. It was cool. No one fucking slut shame people felt like it was like hanging outside of a bakery and like, they're like, we're going to, we're going to run out of a, we don't have, we have too many cupcakes left over. You just, you just be like, come on, man. Like what if I hang out and maybe I'll get one of those cupcakes? It's like that. Yeah. That's what. No, but we all talk and I went to an all girls Catholic high school. We were so sex positive. Like I remember in 10th grade, our friend gave her first blow job. She came in the next day and announced it and we all fucking high fived her.

Nobody was like, oh, you're a whore. Like, yeah, of course. We love that stuff. I think cause we're, let's get through this cause we gotta get LJ here. Oh, fuck. He's up. All right. So this is how we do it. There's a few steps to this process. Step number one is it involves going to the bathroom. We engage an intention. We bring in a visualization. Okay. We do a form of toning. Can I just take a shit? Actually like making a sound. No. Oh, a quick hit about the sound is to flush things down our energy channel and out our root. It's helpful if we make a low sound. And if we're bringing things up through the upper chakras and out our crown, we want to make a higher tone. And so we can use this toning tool to help us move

excess energy in our body that might not be serving us. I feel like I make that sound already when I shit. You do. Oh, this guy lives alone. He lives alone. When we go to the bathroom, a root area is not only opening up physically to let things go, but it's also opening up energetically to let things go. Right. And so there's, once this energetic center is open, and we're releasing physically and energetically, this guy align this with our intention. I'm going to let go of some anxiety that I'm feeling in my belly and like help it encourage it down. He goes, but he goes through all this to take a shit. His life is too complicated. He definitely lives by himself. Important is because we're opening up physically,

yes, and energetically, it's important to that when we're done and complete our sacred releasing ritual that we close the energy center. Your asshole energy loves to leak out. We've heard about this phenomenon. Yeah. Yeah, it does. The leaky energy problem. Yeah. Especially with women. You got to close that door. Close your badge. Energy can easily leak out of our root and sacred if we're not. So by adding the yield to the new libanda, that's a piece you have to hunt. And so by engaging in that, it's an act of closing that energetic center. Yeah, I get it now. You got all that energy. But you're saying that King Asherwood has been practicing this for years. Listen to that breath work. Listen to that breathing.

I'm appreciating what he ate and letting it all out and then closing it. Right. So King Asherwood. I'm farting on you haters. Yeah, and he's farting on the haters. F all the haters. He's an intentional farter and a shitter. Yeah. I mean, he's been doing, he's been mindful duding for a long time before this guy. He's really been doing it. Oh my God, that was great. That was fantastic. You know, more dump clips, really. I feel like, I feel like this really lifted my spirits. This is what I needed today. Thank you so much for really bringing the clips that I would respond to. Yeah, I'm glad. Thank you, blue band. And yeah, I really feel like

very exciting. So normally we would have had Martin Risa together, but we don't because of our circumstance today. I'm so jealous too. But that's what you're going to see now. If you keep watching this podcast or keep listening, we're going to tack on a segment where Martin brought presents, which I don't want to give away yet. And he also brought three new waters to try, which I have to get you to try them. So excited. And then that's it. It should be really fun. So thank you to Martin Risa for coming in. Go to the patina restaurant downtown LA. Thanks for listening. Please go to your mom's house podcast.com. You know, the deal, you know, the tickets are on sale for the tour,

you know, the merch. Thank you guys as always for listening to the podcast and we'll see you next week, Jean. Thanks, James. All right. This is a nice treat for us in this case, particularly me, because I don't know if, well, I'm sure we discussed it during the episode, but we have no, we have a nanny calling sick today, which happens. That's life. So I, the more important, uh, true water champ of the family, I'm going to enjoy some, uh, nice new waters. We're being revisited by Martin Risa, the water sommelier, um, the international number one water sommelier who, um, also you can, you can visit if you'd like to, you can go and they can make a reservation and

at the, uh, patina, right? Patina restaurant in downtown Los Angeles and the world is the concert home. I'm always there for you. And actually we had some guests who saw me here on the show last time coming over now to patina and there was a lot of fun. Really? Do some water tasting with them and they really enjoyed it and a lot of fun. It's a fun experience. I feel like that was the, um, it was a funny episode. Like when you participated, when you came over the first time, all these people were like, what the fuck are you doing having this guy on? But I think this is totally normal. Even I'm getting the same response in the restaurant all the time. It's like, when you're giving them water, man, you're telling them I'm a water

sommelier, they think like, you're right. What's wrong with you? But then they were all fascinated. Like, and I, I've been on this, uh, thing too, where, you know, I travel a lot. I'm meeting people all the time. Sometimes water comes up. It always comes up when somebody grabs the water. Like let's say I'm going from the hotel or the airports of the hotel and then the, uh, you know, the show runner, the person that runs the, the, the theater runner who like will run, help you run errands the day you're in town. We'll stop in and then I'll see them pick up like a bottle of smart water. I'll be like, no, man, you can't do that. I'm like, that's garbage, dude. Throw that shit out. And then we start having talks about

minerals. I don't know, it becomes this fascinating thing where it's almost like there's so many things in life that are convenient to not know that you just go like, I don't have time to care about everything. Um, but then there's certain things where you go, well, it's important enough for me to, to give a shit about. So I especially, I think when you're putting something into your body, huh? Yeah. I think you should really think about it, what you're putting into your body. Of course. That's very, very important. Water is, is pretty essential. I think you see that an artist made this. Oh, that is cool. I mean, look at that. That is awesome. That is, I love this. It says the water champion sculpted that whole thing. Incredible. That is

really awesome. Yeah. I love this. Yeah. Um, yeah. Well, there's some additional additional gaming. So yeah, you got a lot of traction. I mean, you know, from the podcast, a lot of people were into that. Did you get some fun, interesting messages and emails from people? The first thing, and I was like, completely shocked, obviously, when the first guy said, hi Hitler, and I was like, what the hell? What did I do on the show? And I didn't know. And then I realized because I watched more and more episodes now, and then I realized, oh, now I'm getting it. You're like, there's, it's not just me. It's not just me. I'm not just because I'm can perfectly say hi. Hello, obviously German accent, but now I getting it. And this was

obviously a little shocking in the beginning for me, but now I'm getting it. Now I'm getting it. Now I'm totally fine with this. Yeah. Yeah. She, um, she's pretty wild. Yeah. Yeah. Oh my God. She's got, she's got a problem. She has serious problems. Yeah. Yeah. Nobody was really fun to, to be on the show. And I never thought I getting so much response out of that. I don't know. I've, I gained hundreds of followers. Suddenly people wall over me. They sent me text messages. I'm still getting Instagram posts all the time now and, and tagging you with the water. Yeah. Tagging me with their water. They're drinking and asking me, Hey, what do you think about this water? What do you think about that water? And I'm trying obviously my best

always to, to, to response to everybody. That's great. And, and saying like, Hey, cool. Thank you so much for thinking about me. And, and I love this. This is so cool. And this is the whole idea, I think we want to engage with people when I talk about what, and I want to give water value. That's the whole point why I was on the first place here as well. And water should be fun and water should be enjoyable. And, and it's, it's great to be back. Well, good. I'm so happy to have you back. Um, and I really feel like too, it's like, it's one of those things where with water, it is something you engage with every day. So like even all the jokes aside from our podcast, I mean, you're going to have water every day. I mean, we are, and I feel like you coming on

just opened my eyes to the possibilities and to the information, like the education of it. So it's been fascinating for me, man. Like I, I really do think about it now when I'm in these, like I said, all over the country, different cities have different options. Where was I? I was just in Texas. And, um, when I went to, where was I? It was either in, I think it was when I was in San Antonio, San Antonio. Yeah, it was. I went to this pretty nice restaurant. We're having a pre-show meal and the guys like, you know, they're trying to sell us their cocktails and I was like, well, we're going to do show. So I said, I just want sparkling water. And he goes, do you want a Pellegrino or a bup, bup, bup? And

something I hadn't heard. And I go, I go, what's that? And he goes, what's that? He goes, oh, that's a Mexican sparkling water. It's a, it's a staple of maybe San Antonio or whatever. Yeah. And I go, it's a short topo chico. Okay. Very, very great. Cool. Sparky water. I go hook that shit up. May I just have some Mexican sparkling water. I love this. So it was like a fun, you know, normally, I don't even know if you, if you hadn't been here and kind of talked about trying stuff, I may have just been like, I don't know what that is. I'll take Pellegrino. But I, now I try to experiment and try to have a little more. Then you've just been through sober October. I know, man. So, and first of all, congratulations

to your shit house this weekend. I believe that. Yeah. But I think even for people who say like, okay, I want to be a whole month with other alcohol, there are other options for you. Sure. And it's not just about, or other options means like sodas or stuses or something like that. No, water has options as well. And there are some really, really cool stuff on it. Yeah. Yeah. And that is a fun thing. Oh my God. I drink so much water on Thursday night. I went to this place that had a speakeasy attached to it. And they have, they're like a bourbon bar, bourbon whiskies and everything. And they're having me try Japanese whiskies and all this shit. I mean, after about an hour and a half. Yeah.

Very cool stuff. Yeah. I have, this is why the restaurant after an hour and a half of that, I was like, Hey man, I need to start drinking some water. And I think I had like 11 glasses of water before I left you with the water shampoo on the water. And I was also becoming the drunk champ. So I was like, I actually felt somewhat okay the next morning, I think because I just pounded water. Yeah, it's important. Yeah. The thing is what a lot of people always don't think like they're thinking or alcohol makes you dehydrated. That's actually not really true. Right. Alcohol is to make you more going to the restroom. So that's the reason that's the whole point why you're dehydrating because you keep going, you keep going, keep going, keep going the whole

time and you're forgetting maybe to drink water. So when you replenish yourself all the time with some good mineral water, there will be no hangover next day. Really? You will be fine. There you go. You will be fine. I'm very, very tempted to just grab stuff. I'm so excited. You brought three to try today? I brought three different waters, but before that, I have a little present for you. Oh, okay. Is this the file you sent me or no? No, not yet. So the first present, and this is actually for you because you did the whole Lamborghini prank and I love this. And before that, you told me you were the head champ now as well. That's right. That's right. And I know your addiction to cars and I have to admit I love cars too. Cars are fun, man.

So I ordered something from Germany for you. What? And I think this will be a perfect little present. So I get you the perfect martini racing Porsche cap for you. You're a gentleman. Thank you, sir. So I think that will be a nice thing, especially when the sun is blowing. Yeah. And this will be a great hat for you when you're driving your nice car. Thank you, sir. Let me see. Maybe you need to change in the back or something else. Yeah, dude, that's very nice of you. Thank you for doing that. But I thought like I saw that and I thought like this is the perfect gift for Tom. Yes. There we go, dude. That looks perfect. Yeah. Love this. Love it. And then I brought something for you both. And I have a little video as well, but I want to showcase first

what I brought because obviously I'm working in a restaurant. Yeah, yeah. And you guys talking all the time about eating stuff as well on the show. Mm hmm. What I brought Moos soup. What? What? You brought real Moos soup? Real Moos soup created yesterday by my Michelin star chef Andreas Roller. And I have a video here where you can see where we created this yesterday. Holy cow. Real Moos soup for the main mummies. Oh my god. This is unbelievable. Oh my god. Hold on. This is unbelievable. You did not even tell me you were doing this, by the way, because otherwise I would have had this. No, no, that's the reason. Yes. Here we go. I just sent and this is the reason I just sent you the link via drop. Yeah,

because I didn't know that you were sneaking on me and like, oh, what is he sending me? Like, let's check it out. Yeah, yeah. But then I wouldn't have that surprise. So it was for me important to get some Moos soup in the beginning. And obviously some people will say like, what the hell is this here? Why is Martin has like this crazy bunch here? But this is like how we're presenting or preserving actually stuff at the restaurant. So we're cooking everything and then it goes into a vacuum. Yeah. And then it will be staying perfectly for many, many days. I cannot believe you're a genius. So this is actually a real good Moos soup from the Moos is coming from Vermont, actually, freshly flown. This is Moos soup for real. This is real Moos soup. Okay. I think

we're going to lose our minds. So should I open it up? Yeah, sure. Yeah, definitely. Okay, it's a little video. So there's no really sound. So you can you can move the sound, but just a little video about where we actually are. So it's Moos soup, patina star. This is funny because I was about to say to you that like, we should tell the audience what caliber restaurant. So it's a Michelin star restaurant. It's one of the flagships what we are operating. It's the number one restaurant in Los Angeles. And this is Andreas Roller, our execute chef. And this is like dishes what we are plating, like for example, turbo, like a little salmon crostini, kumadai, a little devil eggs, little sweets. So this is actually Moos, what we received from Vermont yesterday.

And he's like carving it right now. And these are the fillets. You can see it's very, very dark meat. It's beautiful. Very red meat. This is beautiful. Little garlic, obviously for the beautiful breath, because I know you love your love, your love garlic breath. I love garlic breath if I'm going to give a kiss to Christina. They're all the different ingredients, obviously as well from this is putting it into into a little. So this guy's a stud chef. Oh, yeah, he's a master degree on chef as well from German. He comes from a three-star restaurant in Germany, the Hotel Traubert-Turmbach. And he really knows his shit. So he's putting some fire on it as well to get some roast aromas to the Moos. Yeah. And he had a lot of fun as well to it. So obviously he wouldn't

and this is not a thumb right there. You did the white thing. Yeah, they are like different herbs in it. And we don't want that the herbs are touching actually the food. We just want the aromas of the herbs really putting it into the small little small little bag. And then we're putting it back out later on. And then it's getting reducted a little bit of I'm blown away. Here we go. And this is like how the finished product looks like. I'm blown away. Here we go. Let's see with the chef. Yeah, he did. He likes it. He likes it. So I haven't tasted it yet. He just tasted it, but I'm very excited for you. And you should try it out. I got my back as well at home. So I think this will be a lot of fun for you. It's on dude. It is on. That's so nice of you. Thank

you so much. Sure thing. Because everybody was talking about Moos soup and I was like Moos soup, Moos soup, Moos soup. I never heard about this. Yeah. And then I was finding out a little bit and then I talked to Andreas, my chef and he's like, let's cook some Moos soup. Let's make it. And we did this yesterday and we had a lot of fun actually with that. That is so he enjoyed it as well. That's yeah. That's as cool a thing as I've heard somebody doing. Thank you. Oh, MG. Yeah, that's we're gonna come down later for Moos soup. We're gonna do it. She should come down as well. She should. Yeah. Yeah. She I wonder what she would think of a Michelin stars version of Moos soup. I would love to know this as well because I saw pictures

and they already looked like a poop of apes or something like this is like apes. It's like there are some disgusting Moos soup pictures online. I have to say that it's like really some pictures were like literally like, okay, when you were really, really sick and you're going to the you're going to the restroom and you already know there are some problems with your stomach and you're looking afterwards what happened to you in the in the toilet. And this is like sometimes what Moos soup looks like. Oh my God. It's like you don't want to know. It's like it's really like are these photos to be looked at as well? Or is it because like I was here in March or April, I think this year and there's so many things happen. I was in China, there are big water

tasting there over 100 different waters and I will be coming up on Netflix for the Bill Nye show. Oh, that's great. So the science guy, the science guy, I had a lot of fun with this guy and he invited me to do a water tasting and he gave me three different waters. The first water was alatep. The second water was double distilled water, what I refuse to drink because I said, like, what the fuck? Why should I drink double distilled water? There's no benefits for me. So forget it. I'm not drinking this. And the third water, what we're seeing right now there, exploration life support water. Yeah, this is actually out of space water from the International Space Ship. This is their recycled water what they're drinking. So it's astronaut

water. This is what they're drinking. This is what they're drinking on the spaceship. Oh, so in space in space, they have to recycle their water. Yes. So this was the most unique water I ever tasted in my life. So it's water recovery and management from the NASA Marshall Space Flight Center. And when you go on the next page or the next photo, you will see what that actually is. So it's recycled water made from waste products extracted by the employees of summer 2015. Actually, it's out of this world. Yeah, it was out of this world. Because this is nothing else than sweat, shower water, distilled urine, condensation, and then they're adding some silver to make it all purified and clean waste products excreted by the employees. So I was drinking that. I even

revisit that water. So I drank it twice. And they all looked at me. There was one comedian right next to me. He's like, What the fuck? Like you're you're you're refusing to drink double distilled water, but you're drinking that shit. Yeah. And I was like, Yeah, I want to taste that. It has extremely heavy smell first. So when you're smelling the glass, it's not like when you're walking into a dentist office. Yeah, this chemical very like weird smell. Yeah, it was very sweet and taste. Because silver adds sweetness to your water. Yeah, it was not yummy. Let's face this is like a water what I was drunk on the time. Is it like, no, it's not really but it's you can you can taste like this whole chemical aspect to it. It's like LA tap times five in this chlorine

and silver and camera, you can really smell and drink chemicals. It's not really enjoyable. Is there a rated I mean, were they able to find out the mineral content of that water? No, no. And it's highly distilled as well. So obviously the middle content has to be extremely low, extremely low. Yeah, because otherwise, if it wasn't stripped, it would be like getting people sick. So the fun part about this water is that obviously the ISS, the International Space Ship has two divisions. It's a Russian division and American division. The Russians recycling the water as well, but they don't use their own urine. They're like Nana, that's too nasty for us. So the Americans even collecting the urine of the Russians and use that. Yes. And using that as well.

Because it's so expensive. So there's Rusky P in our. Oh, my God. So they told me this. That's interesting, interesting story about that. That's really wack. So you will see me on Netflix episode four on the second season. It's coming up hopefully in the end of November. Unbelievable. I love this, but it was a lot of fun. Next one. Can I go to the next page? Yeah, sure. There's like a picture of Bill Nye and then with me and this is like the three waters up there and the producer came up to me and because they want to do a blind taste first with me. So they put all the three waters and I was just smelling them. I could tell them right away which water is what. Really? Yeah. And they're like, what? Are you the smell shant now? Yeah, yeah, you are. And it was

like, no, you can smell the difference. At the tap was just the pool from the backyard. Yeah. Then this double distilled water had no smell at all. And then this urine astronaut water was just like disgusting smell. Yeah. Or just disgusting. And this is like on the show that was like for my wife took the pictures from the audience and that's very fun. So it will be a fun little really fun sequence. That's great, man. It will be a good one. Okay. So the next picture and this is a water what I brought. It's called Svalbardi from Norway. And this picture, the bottle already is kind of stunning because I will open this bottle. Which bottle is it? It's this one? Oh, the one this is like what you buy high end liquor comes in a case like that. It has the price of a high

end liquor. It does. So it runs $150 in the restaurant. Get out of here. Yes, 50 bucks. It costs you when you want to buy it retail and 150 we're charging at the restaurant, but we are selling it. People are really addicted to it. Really? Really interesting. So is this a flat water? Yes, I brought three still waters today. I thought like today is a still November month. We're drinking still water. Still water. This is from Norway from Norway. This comes from from the Andarctis. So it's a polar iceberg water. So the middle content obviously is extremely low. It's 21 TDS very, very low because this water has never been touched on the ground. It's like rain water drips down. It goes right away on the ice glacier and freezes up.

This water is around 15,000 years old. What's in the bottle right here? And I see the picture right here. So they're harvesting these icebergs. And now some people would say like, are you not smart? And so you're, you're, we all know, like global warming and everything. Now you're like taking the icebergs even away. It's like, no, these are icebergs who are breaking down like totally normal. They're starting to dilute then into the North Sea. And when they are diluted, you cannot use that water anymore because then it's like heavily salted. So they're picking up these huge icebergs. And you can see like they're tons, they're super heavy. They have our own vessel. They're picking up these icebergs and then melting them down into this bottle.

So it's something very cost-intensive and cost-intensive and also it's not going to be that. They're not going to make millions. No, no, no. I think they did 10,000 bottles last year. So that's why the price point is going to be elevated. It's something very, very unique. That's fascinating. So it's a very fun, interesting water to start your sober November maybe. Oh my goodness. And it's going to be, as you mentioned, a pretty low. Yeah. Yeah. But it's still a distinct flavor or no. That's interesting part. So I had three bottles already and tasting and all three bottles tasted slightly different. And that makes sense because it's a mother, it's a product of nature again. And all these icebergs, they're floating into the sea. So

obviously all these icebergs have a slightly different flavor to it. And the name again is Svalbadi. Svalbadi is a region in Norway and they're calling that water as Svalbadi. So let's see what this version tastes like. To me, it's very smooth. Yeah, definitely. Very, very smooth. I think so too. It's very smooth. But it has, when you drink it, and it's right away gone. It's like, it's almost dries out your palate, I think. Yeah. It doesn't really have this refreshing aspect to it. That's interesting. And that is because it's lacking minerals. Because it's lacking minerals. Yes. Because there's not enough minerals in there. So your body on your mouth saying like, Hey, what's going on? Can we get some more? Can I get some more?

Because there's like barely anything in there. So I want more water to get more minerals. Interesting. But it's a good water. I like it. It's extremely because it's so smooth. It's very nice for wines. So when you have like a tannin rich red wine or something like that, or maybe a whiskey, what you just told me, that will very, very cool work with this because this heaviness of alcohol will be smooth the way out of this very smooth water. So it's a very good water. And I don't want to drink everything because I think your wife, Christina, need to drink something as well. And she will kill both of us, I think, when we probably when we're killing the bottles here

for us. And we don't we don't share. That's, um, but I have to say that is a very pleasurable tasting. In other words, it's enjoyable. I think so too. It's not. It's something that you go like, Oh, okay. I mean, the satisfying sip of water. Oh, absolutely. It wouldn't satisfy my pocket, I have to say, because it's pretty expensive. 150 in a restaurant. But so somebody could go out and buy it. Where would you buy stuff like that? I was so you can buy it because a lot of people asked me as well, like, Hey, Martin, where can you buy all this crazy water? What you had last time on the show? And we said it's aqua maestro in Florida. So these are the people who can actually are they importing mostly of their very unique waters in this country. So you can call

up Brett. His name is Aqua Maestro. And can you say that slower aqua maestro? Oh, okay. Yeah. Okay. So and he even gave like Aqua Maestro. Yes, here we go. Okay. Look, my German accent, my German accent again, huh? Believe me. I just wanted to make sure I wanted to make sure. Thank you. So aqua maestro, aqua maestro is in Florida, in Florida, Google for Lauderdale, listening for Lauderdale. And then you will find them right away. Last time, and I will talk to Brett again, last time they gave actually 10% off for everybody who mentioned your mom's house podcast. What? Yes. So because they had so many inquiries suddenly for a skilled. Okay. So that was kind of cool. And I think this is an I think and for sure, Brett, we'll do this again when

you call him up and say, Hey, I listened to your mom's house podcast. And I heard Marty. Yeah, for sure. He will do something again. Okay. He's a nice guy. Yeah, that was very interesting. Can I switch the next one here? The next page? So there's a next next picture already. You can see the vessel fucking nuts where this icebergs are collecting. So this ship goes out picks up, like scoops up almost like a fisherman would be picking up shrimp and just has a boat full of icebergs. And then they take that back to some factory and correct, correct. And then they're deluding it this water obviously into the bottle. That's so it really has never touched anything. Nope. Just icebergs and the glass. That's wild, man. And then our mouth now. Yeah, that's that is wild.

It's a fun product. Yeah, like this. And they won because I told you I was just recently in Svalbard, Svalbardi, Svalbardi iceberg water. And they just won the in China was a big water competition and they were just like the silver medal for taste. And then they won the gold medal for the the product in general. Oh, the presentation. The presentation is awesome. Yeah, that's outstanding. Yeah, I think so too. And that's I have to say that's like a lot of people at my restaurant, they're obviously going in the water many and they see this beautiful bottle and they say like, Do you know what? Hey, I want to drop 150 bucks for a water. Yeah, why not? Why not? It's an experience. Some people driving a Lamborghini to the gym or to hot yoga and some people drinking

water. That's how we're rolling now these days. So what's what's this next one? So the next one, I was very surprised when I heard about this that Chuck Norris has a water. Come on. This is the official Chuck Norris water seaforce from Texas from his privately owned ranch. Really? Yes, he has a water and I see this box. I reached out to them and they were so happy to give me some products and said like, Hey, that's so cool what you're doing. So I did already a video on YouTube about the taste profile of seaforce. And I thought it would be a fun thing to bring it here to the show now today. Because I'm a big Chuck Norris fan. I have to admit this. I think he's cool and crazy. And so I went to the home page as well and they're saying so Chuck Norris

heard that you guys are thirsty. So he punched the grounds and made the earth cry. Yes. Therefore, we get some water now. So it's Mother's earth tears. Hey, man, I mean, I'm willing to give them a shot. Chuck Norris can try anything. But isn't a tees, no spring water. And I love this. And they're very proud about this that they're saying no, we are not purifying anything. We want minerals. TDS is around 300 on this water. So okay, that's so that's actually a pretty, pretty good stable mineral water. That's some mineral. Yeah. Yes. By US law, this is actually mineral water considered everything over 250 TDS means it's a mineral water. Okay. So this is considered to be a mineral spring water from Texas seaforce. Let's see. Let's give it a shot. Cheers. Cheers.

I definitely taste different. Oh, yeah. From the from the small body. Yeah, I think so too. I'd have a little sweetness to it, I think. I'm not, I don't know. I'm not that into it. You're not into Chuck Norris, huh? I mean, I'm into Chuck Norris. But I don't know what it is about it. It's like, it's almost like it's just under the taste I'm supposed to be tasting or just over something that is supposed to be masked. I don't know. It's like, it's like, it's very. So you feel maybe because the name Chuck Norris on it, you feel something powerful, maybe a Vichy or Roy or something like this. That's something like outrageous and taste. I thought I just had different expectations. Maybe that's it. That's might be what it is as

well. Because the TDS, the 300 again, I think it's a good product. Obviously, it's not so unique than maybe the small body story or the skill to what we had last time where it changed, changes into milk when you're shaking the bottle. It doesn't have something so extremely unique, obviously. Also, you know what it is also is that I think, I mean, without being as familiar with waters as you are, when you said 300 and that this would be considered mineral water, I think my brain was also like, oh, no, it's going to have a taste to it. And then it tastes like very subdued. Okay. Yeah, that makes sense. I just didn't taste. I don't really taste much with it. But it was for me interesting to see that Chuck Norris has that's very water and I wanted to

test that out. And it was interesting. Imagine trying to get into the water game, like trying to get into bottled water seems like maybe you should create your mom's house. Yeah, I mean, like, yeah, that market for all the mommies for all the people who were wearing their jeans. What would be our game plan? I mean, what source are we going to tap? Oh, I have a lot of connection. That is actually easy for me. Okay. The marketing though, right? Because I have a brand as well. It's called Beverly Hills Nine Age Toe. Oh, that's right. And it was last week on the Jimmy Fallon show. That's very okay. Jimmy Fallon taste and you can see it on YouTube right now. Two chains tasted with Jimmy Fallon

Nine Age Toe on the show. And it was a blind taste test. New York tap, the famous New York tap, what's considered to be one of the best tap waters in the States versus Nine Age Toe. And it's a very funny video. It is. Oh my God. So Jimmy Fallon is like looking at this two glasses and tasting the first glass and realized, holy shit, that tastes so bad. This has to be tap. And it was New York tap. And he's like, and he felt almost like embarrassed. And he said, like, I love the city. I am being grown up here in New York, but this is outrageous. Like that water is just no way I'm gonna have to drink this. Really? Two chains that are right over here. I don't drink tap. I don't drink tap. That's not my style. That's

not how I roll. I don't drink tap. And then they tasted Nine Age Toe and Jimmy Fallon into the camera like, oh, this is expensive shit. So that was good. It was a funny, very funny video. Your water's available everywhere? Yeah, not really everywhere right now, because it's a very small production water as well. And Beverly Nine Age Toe is actually sold out right now, right after the Jimmy Fallon show. Obviously we sold out right away. You gotta be thrilled with that. It's crazy. It was great, but we need to produce now again. So it's very tricky. And it's not that easy. A lot of people always think already, they just open a tap and they're filling this. No, no, because I'm Armenian. I'm German. I want

to be like crazy. And I want to be a control freak when it comes to this. I want to make sure this water is perfect. Yeah. So we're sourcing that water from the San Diego Mountains. And I'm very, I'm very strict about where the source is coming from, which plastic, which PET we're using, because I don't want to have any BPA, any chemicals in there. It's a beautiful blue bottle. The bottle, what we showcase on the Jimmy Fallon show is a glass bottle as well. I'm very strict about the glass as well. I'm, I'm like a control freak when it comes to this. For me, quality is the non plus ultra. And I don't want to just give some water on the mass market and to just make a fast buck. That's not me. Yeah. Therefore right now, Nine

Age Toe is sold out, but it will definitely come back when, when I, when I feel the quality is perfect. And then I will release the next batch. Great. That's awesome. I want to get a batch of that. That was important. I will bring it next time. I will bring it next time. You have one more. One more. We're going to Australia. Acre life. And this bottle, and you can see it already on the label. It's a little beaten up, but they sent me a whole case of water and actually just three bottles survived. The rest was broken. Wow. So it's all the time I have this and obviously my landlord at my apartment always saying like, what the hell is this always? Why are you getting all this beat up packages from all around the world?

Because these days, and this is the fun, cool thing about me as a water swimmer, that literally people from around the world sending me waters now all the time. You got to love that. It's really fascinating. It's also your passion. Oh yeah. It's completely fascinating to taste all the different mineral waters from around the world. So Acre life has a TDS of 1300. So this is considered a very high mineral water and then it's a still version. And this is for me fascinating because mostly high mineral waters are sparkling waters, but this is a still water. Sparkling is because it's more palatable for minerals or not? No, I don't want to say this, but a lot of high mineral content waters coming with CO2 out of the grounds.

Oh, okay. So they're already, they're also natural CO2. And Acre life is still water from Australia. You've tried this, yes? Yeah, I tried this already. I really like this water. A 1000? 1300. This is definitely going to have a flavor. It has to. It has a texture. It has a texture? It has a texture. This is heavy water. This is for me really heavy. You see, I never, and this is for me fascinating. This is like what I love when I'm tasting waters. This is so unique in textures almost if you're drinking like high percentage milk or olive oil. This is like the mouth feel. You know what's funny? You're because everyone's brain sends different thoughts. I'm anticipating

like my, my moment before was like, oh, it's going to be salty. Like that was my, my thought. Sure. It's, it's like oil, but like, like smooth, like mineral oil, like it's almost like if olive oil was something you could drink, right? It's like a richness to it. When you would close your eyes, you would think you would drink olive oil or you would drink milk or something. You would not think this is water because it's so heavy in your palate. And this is for me fascinating. That's the reason I'm trying to get them. They don't have distribution right now in the States. I'm trying to get them on my new water menu, what I will launch at Patina next month, because I think it's something so unique. I want to showcase that. That is a water for me again,

like what my brain is like. Holy cow. They're so cool that Mother Nature gives me something so crazy and so unique. Of the three for me by far the most unique taste. Oh yeah, definitely. And the first ones by far the most unique story. Yeah. And also very satisfying. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. But I think it's an interesting exercise again to see three still waters this time. Last time I brought still and sparkling and I wanted to, wanted to showcase even still water tastes differently and has a different texture and can taste completely different. This is so cool. Yeah, man. I'm fascinated. And so again, if you want to try people, because we got hit up, you know, people wanted me to keep posting about the waters and

Aqua Maestro in Florida. Bookmark that. You should, if you are a foodie, if you love restaurants, you come to Los Angeles, go to Patina and you could even possibly meet Martin and try some waters. I'm trying to be there on a daily basis. I'm trying my best. And then put a reminder in your phone to get Beverly Hills 9o H2O when it comes back on the market. And watch Bill and I. This will be a fun one. Yeah. That's a really good one. And don't you have your own site as well? Oh yeah, sure. Martin slash Risa dot com. Obviously my own homepage. Facebook, Instagram is always Martin Risa. So it's easy to find me, I think. And we will definitely do a post again of the three waters, what we tasted. We will share this on our Instagram accounts. And I had one more

question because you talked about the Lamborghini prank. And I was so fun and fascinating. I was laughing my ass off and my wife woke even up because I was watching that episode in my bed in the middle of the night. And she was sleeping already. And she's like, what the hell is this? An earthquake? Or why is she shaking the bed? And I was laughing that hard when you, it was so good when you said like, holy shit. And you made this voice impression of Bert. It was brilliant. Oh yeah. But you were talking about the bottled water, what you had for them. And I was like the whole time guessing. So when is he telling me which bottled water? It was a, is interesting that you asked, it was as more of a.

Or was it a container? Yes. Ah, here we go. I thought so. That's what it was. So a guy, I posted it on our, on our Instagram once sent us a case of these different, I think it's called Mir. Oh, cool. Like water bottles. I mean, not, you know, containers, like you say. So that was the thing. And so he sent these to their vacuum insulated and it keeps whatever temperature you put it in there at, stays like that for like 35 hours. Oh, that's awesome. So they were really cool. I thanked him online. I forget his name, but I thanked him on Instagram. Yeah, but it wasn't actually a bottle, it was a container. Because I was like, ego, obviously. For me as a water swimmer. Yeah, I was like, it's okay, which water, which water has he in his Lamborghini now? Yeah.

And I was looking the whole time and listening the whole time. He's saying, did I miss it now? What's going on here? I want this. I want to know which water you've been sending. And in my Lambo, it's going to be nothing but Svalbardini. Svalbardini. Svalbardi. I can't say it. Svalbardi. Svalbardi. That language is, I don't know. Yeah, it's a tough language. All the Scandinavian language is almost like you have a hot potato in your mouth and you're trying to talk. Yeah. That's like what, what the Danish and Norwegian finish languages. And you see it written and I'm like, well, it's so intimidating. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You just want to drink it. Dude, thank you so much for coming again. This was so cool. I love when you do this and let's do it again. Anytime you

want to do another tasting. Oh, I'm bringing always like some fun waters and I think we should, we should do this definitely again. And hopefully Christina, our main mommy will be next time here as well. Absolutely. Let me bring everybody out on this. I got a little song to say goodbye. And that's it. Thank you, Martin, again for joining us and we'll have this up again soon. Cheers, guys. It's infected all of us. Two mommies. One gene. You know what I mean? You know what I'm saying? Give it to me.

Give it to me. Head scratchy scratchy, scratchy, head scratchy, head scratchy, head scratchy, scratchy, scratchy, head scratchy, head scratchy, head scratchy. T 16 two bombies one gene. That's how it goes again. Two bombies one gene. You know what I mean? You know what I'm saying? Dime a tap. Dime a tap. Dime a tap. Dime a tap. Dime a tap. Dime a tap. Dime a tap. Dime a tap. Dime a tap. Dime a tap. Dime a tap. If I do kill multiple people, that will be what I'm humming. Tenors 12. Tenors 12. Tenors 12. I take like tenors 12. Tenors 12. Tenors 12. I take like 10.

You know what I mean? You know what I'm saying? You know what I mean? You know what I mean? You know what I'm saying? I actually had this song in my head over the weekend. A lot of you. No I. A lot of you. It's not a bad song. I feel like it's not that bad. I mean it can take some work. It needs work, but it's not bad. It's pretty amazing. Yeah!