Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - 425-J.Elvis Weinstein-Your Mom's House with Christina P and Tom Segura

Episode Date: December 6, 2017

A few years back Tommy went to Asia (voluntarily, tho under some duress) and did stand up with some great guys: Chad Daniels, Pete Lee and the guest of this episode, J. Elvis Weinstein. The trip was filmed for a documentary that is available NOW. Please check out I NEED YOU TO KILL on itunes, Amazon or wherever you pay to buy and rent movies.  J. Elvis Weinstein is a comedian, writer, director and co-host of his own podcast, Thought Spiral with Andy Kindler.  This episode is full of laughs and love. Get all up in there like it's the night before your 70th birthday. 

All right, Gene, excuse me, it's me again, at the top alone, Chris Gene's a, who knows where she is? I'm here. I'll tell you this, on her behalf, just because I love her like that. You can see her at the Ice House, January 12th, she's doing the Ice House Comedy Club here in Pasadena, California, February 2nd and 3rd, Shark Lake Titties, Utah, Wise Guys, February 2nd and 3rd, February 23rd, Calusa Casino, great Calusa Casino, I've done it, she's done it, I think, uh, Bernd Chrysler did it recently, Joey Diaz has done it, great

spot, and March 30th and 31st, 2018, she'll be making her triumphant return to Portland, the Oregon Helium Comedy Club, uh, as she says, here I am, and that should be a blast, she, um, is already moving tickets there, that's how amazing Portland is, me, your boy, your boy here, Tommy Sags, I'm in Fartnick's, Arizona this week, and at Stand Up Live, downtown, um, it's like a hundred and some tickets left now for Thursday, that's it, Friday and Saturday are sold out, Thursday has been movin', scoop'em up, December 16th, I'll be at the Hawaii Theater in Honolulu, Hawaii, um, very excited, can't wait to go, yes, December 14th and Maui was cancelled, and the reason it was cancelled with all due respect is that, uh, there wasn't

enough tickets sold, this way it works, man, you gotta get them in advance, it's never personal, sometimes people get mad, they're like, hey, what the fuck did you can't, I bought tickets, how come you didn't just come do the show for me and my six friends, I just, it's just the way it works, man, they, they, you can't do it, you know, there's like a, kind of like a bottom threshold you have to hit, um, my apologies, I wanted to do it, I scheduled to do it, I just couldn't do it anymore, um, it just didn't move fast enough, so the, the plug got pulled, as they say, I'd still like to try it again, maybe we'll try it again and hopefully it'll go better, but it's just the way it went, man, it's not

personal, don't get mad at me, dude, coming to Hawaii anyways, go to Oahu, see me at the Hawaii Theater, December 16th, alright, um, look, I wanted to tell you in our store, we had that, uh, charity item, I don't know if you remember that, I mentioned, uh, the Santa Claus wears jeans, it sold out super fast, which is awesome, because it means that you guys are really supporting an amazing charity, it's going to go to the Children's Hospital of Los Angeles, it sold out, so we're adding a, a Santa Claus wears jeans, really high end sweatshirt, and the, the charitable 100% profit, um, donation will continue, so we're going to keep selling them, um, and like I said, we'll just keep donating the money,

I can't wait to see what the grand total is, and whether we're going to do the cash donation or the toys, we'll find out, there's a bunch of other stuff there, uh, machines within, women's shirt is now available, machines within men's shirt, Santa is Latino, Santa's black, Santa's Asian, Santa wears jeans, Christmas beanie is also there, bunch of stuff, check it out, it's all in the store right now, uh, merchmethod.com slash Tom Segura, alright, there's no video today, I think we get into why, I don't remember, but it had to do with, uh, the cards that were removed from the camera, I don't know, something happened with them, we were able to save the data from the previous week, which was our whole, it was a whole debacle,

I'll get into it more next week, but anyways, Josh Elvis Weinstein, right, yeah, Weinstein, I always have to think, because he's not Weinstein, he's here, uh, he has a new movie that I'm in, it's called I Need You To Kill, it's a documentary, it was really awesome to make, I went to Asia for it, and now, uh, I'm not in Asia, but the documentary is here, and it's really funny, and, uh, it's basically about the developing stand-up scene there, and I went to Asia with Josh, Chad Daniels, Pete Lee, we talk about it, it's a lot of fun, thanks to Josh for coming over here, and again, I'm sorry about the, uh, lack of video, hope you enjoyed this episode, we'll see you next week, back with video.

Thanks for watching, and I'll see you in the next one. All right, uh, here we go. All right, uh, here we are, Gene, back, uh, this is a audio-only podcast. Old school. Old school, because, um, it was very complicated, but we had some, uh, data issues with our cameras last week, and the cameras have prompted us to get the cards that we used last week, so we have BlueBand out there trying to pick those up from a data recovery place, but that's the issue, that's why this is audio-only, it's still gonna be a fun podcast, we have

the great Josh Elvis Weinstein, yes. Yeah, well, his father, Harvey, is in some, I told you, don't bring that, and he wants to distance himself from his dad right now, so, uh, is that difficult when you have a last name? That's a stupid question. No, I've always thought about this, how like, like, no, it's not stupid, I'm saying, when your last name is like, Hitler, yeah, Heitler, I pronounce it Heitler, there's this thing, that's what he just did, so, like, if there was a Segura in the news, and they're like,

and he raped, and he killed the little children, I'd be like, oh, shit, and then every time someone says my name, it's like, yes, it is weird, because it looks the same in print, and you see, when you see your name in print, it jumps out at you, so I saw it a lot over the last few weeks. And people constantly being like, that piece of shit, raping, like, um, Weinstein, I correct him. It's also weird when your name becomes a verb, right, you know, and I've heard it both as she got Weinstein, you know, meaning sexually assaulted, or he got Weinstein, meaning ostracized

from his community with great swiftness, so I preferred it when it was, when you got Weinstein, it meant you got hilariously burned by me, right, right, yeah, zinged, you guys zinged hard, man. Yeah. It's a maze, Gene. So there's a, there's a lot going on. I want to get into the whole history of, of you, everything you've done. You've had an amazing career, and I've been like, past tense is correct, you're about

to die. So, so there's a lot to cover, but before, we'll mention it multiple times, but just to get people knowing what's up right now, right, the why I'm here, the why you're here, I'll let you, I'll let you say it. My documentary, which I directed, which you co-star in, called I Need You to Kill, which is about Tom and two other comics, Pete Lee and Chad Daniels and their tour to Asia a couple years back. And it also explores the comedy scenes that are sort of popping up in Asia now and sort

of American style comedy scenes, right, but sort of, you know, several years behind. And we all went, we went to Singapore, Hong Kong, and Macau, I think we did what, eight shows or seven? It was, I think, yeah, seven shows and seven days, and I, I think I, I actually only featured six of the shows because it was getting a little monotonous. Yeah. It was, but it was a, it was a hell of a trip and an experience. And now it's a documentary that you can, it is, you can download it and you can also

rent it. Yes. So if you go on any iTunes, Amazon, Google, and pay-per-view stuff too, on your cables. Please check it out. I had a blast doing it. There's a lot of laughs in it. There's stand-up. There's some stand-up that you'll recognize.

Like we all, you know, we're doing bits from our acts before, but there's stuff there. It was mostly, mostly Stora's era, mostly Stora's era stuff. It was leading up to, to that taping, I think. Yeah. So, and, but it's also a lot of talking about like what was going through your head at various times while you're performing in these foreign locales too. Which has to be very difficult because I mean, I've done stuff overseas for the troops and for some like expat type audiences and you know, American stand-up is its own unique

thing. I can't even imagine what it's like to do it in Singapore. I feel like it's totally unfair that I just realize this now that there's not video for this because Josh and I both are about 50 pounds less. It's true. There's a hundred pounds more of us in that movie. Oh. Yeah.

Isn't that nice to look back on your fat self? That's horrible. Are you excited about that? I actually don't like it that much, but I have a long fat self-history behind me though. Not as much. You know, Tom had a peak. I kind of had a long, you know, whole life sort of situation. There was, yeah.

There's a lot in there. Well, we're going to, we'll get into it all. Let's, let's do it real proper like and, and open the show correctly as we always do. Oh, we skipped one, I think, like a week ago, but all right, let's do this. Here we go. Josh Elvis Weinstein is here. Don't fucking mispronounce it. That's what he told me the first time I met him.

He didn't say Evan. Yeah, he did. He was like, don't fucking mispronounce it. Yeah, that's really like him. He's so angry. I am, I'm rageful. Hey. Hey.

I'm so excited for your party this weekend. You're my friend Allie, right? Do you mind if I invite them? Yeah, of course not. Invite her. She's cool. Uh-oh. He uses they pronouns, not she.

Just like some people use he or she pronouns, some people use they pronouns. Why? Because they may not identify within the traditional gender categories of boy or girl. So when you use the wrong pronoun, you're misgendering someone. This shit is big time. Who is Randy? Don't bring anyone loving to this. Your mom in the fucking stand.

Welcome. Welcome to your mom's house with Don Segura. Welcome to your mom's house. There is a lot of panning in your theme music. You know what I like about that opening clip, by the way, is how shitty that girl was who corrected her. She's like, I said they, you dumb cunt. And if you don't know somebody, fuck a pronoun.

Oh, there's a lot more. I selected this as the opening because I just felt like it would tickle your heart. It's exactly my wheelhouse of entertainment. Yeah, it's, uh, hold on. Josh, what's your pronoun? How many boys you might react when you do so? Oh boy. Let's see some of them.

Okay. Why? Ali is transgender and doesn't identify as a boy or a girl, so they use gender neutral pronouns. Wait, what do you mean they pronouns? Isn't they plural? What does that even mean? That's not grammatically correct.

They can be plural and they can be singular. Policing someone's identity with grammar comes across as snobby and disrespectful. Oh. Also, language changes all the time. It's like when someone says they're gay, they probably don't mean that they're happy. They has been used as a singular pronoun since the 14th century. It's not a new thing. Yeah, stupid.

Don't you know that? I like how the tone is like, why don't you know this shit? This is ye olde news. Yeah. Yeah. Right. God, so sensitive. Dummy.

So silly. Yeah, it's so silly. There's a way around this and that is actually to learn people's names. Yeah. Oh. That's a really good point actually. Hey. Wait a minute.

Yeah. I mean, acting like, but you know, I don't know if that helps you educate people when you go, everyone knows that, right? Because that's the, the angle on this is to be like, how do you not know that? Right. But it's basically saying like, how do you not know what point zero, zero, four percent of the population does? Right.

Exactly. And by the way, I don't think non-binary is the same as being transgendered. They're not necessarily. That's true. They're not necessarily correlated. You could be transgendered, transgendered and have a he or she problem. Yeah. I mean, that's so cisgender normative of them to even assume that in this sketch.

It's roll your own, baby. Well, and isn't Allie traditionally a female name? Traditionally, but that's not Allie. Not Allie Baba. Yeah. Why don't you know that? How do you not know stuff? Stupid.

You still know anything. Oh yeah. I forgot she goes by them. No. She goes by them. They go by them. Oh, would you just chill? I made one mistake.

Why are you freaking out? Yeah. She's right. She's right. Whoa there. Defensiveness much? Oh. This person has a right to be upset.

They're trying to help you be more respectful. They may not be doing it in a way that you like. They may be being disrespectful about it. Learning can be uncomfortable and difficult. And that's okay. It's going to take some effort to learn about trans identities. Yeah. Don't be a defensive jerk about it.

Yeah. True. Duh. Where do you think they gets their haircut? I think it's at the non-binary supercuts. Yeah. I think it's the dog groomer. It's not very good.

I think our dog has a similar. That's not very thoughtful. I'm just saying it's not a very flattering haircut. Yeah. Yeah. For any they do. For they. For them.

But it really is. I mean, honestly, it really is like a Miss Pat cut. Literally. It is Miss Pat. Not Miss Pat. Not Miss Pat. It's just Pat. It's different Pat.

I think Pat is considered offensive now. Yeah. They said that that would never air now. That sketch. Right. Because they're like, well, I would be super offended by that. That's exactly the thing they're making fun of. Yeah.

People's discomfort with gender. Right. But wouldn't Pat bring awareness to the situation? I mean, I don't know. I think they would think it's, it's phobic. It's transphobic. It's, you know, it's non-binary phobic. I don't know.

It's gender phobic. Whatever. It's terrible. Josh, what's your pronoun today? I'm a she-it. Oh, okay. That's great. She-it.

She-its are good. Yeah. That's a big deal. When you got a she-it in the house. What's your pronoun? Tom, what's yours today? That's right. It's sir.

Oh, sir. Wow. Traditional. That's an honorific, I think. Yeah. Just be like, hey, hi. How are you? What's your name?

What's your pronoun? Just try that when you meet people. I'm queen. Queen. What's your pronoun? It's what I choose. There's going to be a new queen. Wow.

Can I come up with a new answer? Sure. That's where it was. Sir and queen, and I just went with she-it. You just fluctuated. I'm a sir. You fluctuated. Oh, you're a sir.

I'm sorry. Sir. I apologize. Don't apologize. I'm labeling it. Wait a minute. Don't apologize because your gender can flex throughout the course of a conversation. That's true.

So it's totally normal for you to flex right now. Go ahead. I'm the Duke. The Duke pronouns. Not she. Is Allie trans? Oh, my God. That is so cool.

I couldn't tell. You know, I've heard using they pronouns as the latest trend. Oh, they are so progressive, breaking all those fashion rules. I love Caitlyn Jenner. She's the best of all the Kardashians. Look at her judgment. Oh, she's beautiful. I know.

Acceptance is great. Whoa. Stereotypes are not. Oh. People who use they pronouns aren't here to make you feel more cool. I think they are. I just feel like the attitude's a little snotty. Yeah, I like to overact a little bit when I'm offending people.

Yeah. Just so you know, so the, how did the idea, I want to, I want to get this because I mean, I remember when you called me, I was in Columbus doing the funny bone. Okay. Walking into it. You've come a long way, Tom. I know. And you'd called me and this was before, you know, I don't know, a few months before

this trip to Asia. Right. Yes. What, how did it come about though? What's the, like the origin of. It came from Louis Lee. Louis Lee for people that don't know is the owner of Acme Comedy Club in Minneapolis, which is where you started.

It's not where I started, but no, you're from there. I started kind of with Louis who was then back then a bartender at another club called the comedy gallery. Yeah. When I was literally a teenager, I was 16 and I was a middle and I'd walk in and he'd hand me a coffee cup full of scotch on the rocks. Yeah. And so I knew him.

I kind of moved away from Minneapolis right as Acme was opening. So I always, I always only headlined at Acme. You started at 16. 15. 15. That's so great. And how did they let you do that legally? No one talked about it.

I didn't talk about it in my act and I was like this big fucking 300 pound 15 year old. And so I just, yeah, no one cared really. And then once, once I, once people did know I was already sort of a local celebrity, if you will, you know, so. Louis, you've never met Louis, have you? Or have you? I think it maybe once. Louis is like, I don't know.

He's like the Yoda. Little Chinese Yoda. Yeah. And he, and so he knew I had made another doc. And so he went, Hey, do you want to, I'm doing this tour. Do you want to shoot the tour? And he hadn't even picked who was going on the tour at that point. I know I was not a first choice.

I think you're, I think you, I think Jake Johansson said no. Oh wow. And thank God. I got the phone call about that. Yeah. I think, I think I talked about that in the doc where I mentioned that they tell me that someone said, your agent called you said you're not the first choice. Why would they tell you that?

That's rude. Come on guys. Yeah. He goes, he called me up and he goes, Hey, so Louis Lee's putting together this thing, this torn Asia. And I'm like, that sounds cool. And he goes, yeah, he wanted Jake Johansson to do it, but he said no. So would you like to do it?

I'm like, dude, you could have left all that out. And then I go, yeah, I'd still like to go as the second choice. And I'm glad you did. Yeah. It was, it was fun, man. We just anchor the movie of nothing else. Yeah. Well, we had, um, it was wild man.

And I did have like that. We were talking about that panic. Oh my God. About doing. What their pronouns will be. I know. I remember the first time I did Montreal, uh, the just for laughs festival calling Ian bag and being like, do they really understand subway?

All right. He was like, yeah. But you have that anxiety about references. Yeah. No, I remember there's, I didn't use it in the movie, but there's this one bit you do with frosted flakes is the punchline. And you, there's a visual sigh of relief when frosted flakes landed as a reference. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Because that, I mean, you know, you, you think about that when you travel to different states here. Yeah. No, but you're walking the plank. Cause you, you know, you know that the punchline is dependent on that, on that reference landing. And I think for the most part, I did a couple of sets on the trip too.

And for the most part it, it wasn't as off as you'd assume. No. Most of the sets went pretty well. I did have one where I was like, I, I fucking, I don't know if it was like a full bomb, but like it was not great. And I got like burned by an audience member. And I was like, oh God, like so depressed about it. All of which is captured both your reaction to it and the burn.

Yeah. Yeah. No. Yeah. Was he Asian? Yeah. I mean, he was, he was, he was from, he was, from, I think it was during, it was in Singapore, I think.

Well, you, you had asked him, do you ever, cause you're doing your, your Diarrhea Chunk, if you will. So to speak. Yeah. He burned me so hard. And I, you know, when you, when you get burned by someone and you have, you're, you're, you're so stunned. Yeah.

Especially in another hemisphere. And like, I was, it was like day three or something in Asia where just, we just got there. Day three country too. Yeah. And I'm like thinking this will be like just a real casual back and forth. And you were like, Hey, do you ever, do you ever get Diarrhea? And you're like, what gives you Diarrhea? And he at first he didn't know how to answer.

And then he comes back with bad comedy. And then, and then I was like, oh, and I was like, all right. Really? Did you like the other guy's stuff? Cause this isn't going to go well. Man, it was, it just was, it was. Mate, but what were the audiences composed of? Like, are these X-pats?

Well, it changed in every, I mean, we had literally a mix of everything from every show because you would do, we would do like basement bar. We did a genuine comedy club, like the belly room basically in Hong Kong, which brought in, you know, a lot of X-pats. Mostly X-pats in Hong Kong. Yeah. Yeah. And, and they were, they were like the most on top of, I would say everything or those

shows. They were really on top of it. Singapore to me felt like the most new to stand up and had a lot of people from Singapore looking for, you know, like more things would pass there that were undeveloped. Yeah. Like newer standup. It's more polished, hackier standup. Yeah.

It's kind of how it was. I was trying to let you say it. I was actually surprised. I remember when I left there, I was like, so that's definitely the most underdeveloped of the places we did. Right. I thought. And then I ran into Bill Burr a little while after that.

Yeah. And he had gone there and I was like. He's worshiped over there by the young comics too. Yeah. Well, I was like, yeah, Singapore. But they were kind of like, you know, like the less he was like, nah, they were great. And I was like, okay. So that was the end of our conversation.

Well, I mean, they are, you know, they're working to the room in Singapore and they are killing. You know, we even talked about in the movie how they're killing, you know, so how would they know that, you know, there's more to explore. But we talk about like one of the comics is talking about how it's kind of like, you know, in the seventies when it was like, you know, black people are this and white people are this. And he was saying in the movie, that's what it's like in Singapore.

That's what I'm trying to say. I was having trouble articulating it, but it was the most like, it's like early stand-up there. Yeah. First thought theater is I like to call it. First thought theater is a great way to describe it. And then Macau was kind of like the closest to like a road room. Macau was just a straight up casino gig.

Yeah. Yeah. And it was, and but, but the people in it were like everything from expats to like Asian James Bond villain types, you know, like high roller. There was one, there was one guy in the room and I didn't even put it in the movie just because I didn't know how big a badass this guy was. But Pete was talking to him at one point during his act and kind of making fun of him. And I literally have on film people in the audience, like doing that, that hand across

the neck. Don't stop, stop making fun of this guy from, he was like the white, white suit kind of, you know, and there's plenty of guys like, you know, wearing a cowboy hat with feathers and two Rolexes walking around in Macau too. It was a, it was an awesome trip. And fans of Tom will like the, the incredible burst of assholeism that he, that he launched on the other comics in Macau. Oh yeah.

Yeah. We'll save that. We shouldn't tell him that. But the last show, I had some fun at the expense of my co-stars and it was really, really fun. Yeah. And we went suit shopping and you got that. I got you getting fitted for my fantasies of, I remember that.

And then you had that guy every time he came to LA. Yeah. Yeah. Danny. Danny. Yeah. People always hit me up. Is that a Danny shirt?

A Danny shirt. You can see Danny. Oh yeah. People used to always be like, oh, the Danny shirt. You can see Danny. Danny is actually in the documentary. Yeah. Danny's there.

I've never seen Danny. I can't wait to see him. I talked to Danny. Drink. You drank with Danny in the shop. Yeah. Danny shirt. It was fun.

The first time he told me that I'm like, what are you talking about? You know, it's a Danny shirt and then you show me the label and it said shirts by Danny. Shirts by Danny. Just Danny. Yeah. None of those shirts fit now. Yeah. Oh, it does.

So much bigger. I put them on. I look like a fucking pharmacist. Rape over me and yeah. I mean, I'm facing a lot of that right now. Yeah. It's a good feeling though. It is.

Yeah. We got to get it. Except for you don't know at which size do you throw out above. That's true. You know, you never know how bad the bounce back's going to be. I feel like the, I got to get rid of that stuff. Yeah. It's the smart faith.

You know what I mean? Like the shit that's like so much bigger. Don't keep it. No. Don't keep it. No. You got to have faith in yourself. Yeah.

And you have the money to replace it. People go like, what was it? Neil Brennan. He goes, don't trick me. Okay. Don't trick me. And I go, what? He goes, and he called somebody out who had lost weight and put it back on.

He goes, see, he tricked me. He goes, so don't trick me. Meaning like, don't let me think that you're going to be like this now. And then you go back to being fat. And I was like, I'm not going to trick you. I'm still fat. I'm fat too. And I was talking about that at the improv the other night.

I was like, I don't, I don't know when to stop. I don't know how to stop this diet because there's no reasonable argument that I should stop. And what are you doing? I'm doing sort of what you do, you know, somewhere between Keto and Atkins. Yeah. Just carb shunning. Yeah.

Carb shunning. Yeah. And it's worked great, but I'm sick of it and I've lost like 50 pounds. And it's like. You look so much different and so much better. Well, thank you. I've only known you. Looking good.

So why? Thank you. Looking better. But huge shout out to Lewis Lee. He's our absolute favorite guy, um, favorite club owner. And if you, the Minneapolis people know we're not bullshitting. That club is magic. It's a great club.

And it's a credit to him. Yeah. It really is. No, he built it up from nothing. I mean, when he started that club, he was the other clubs in town. We're making all the agents boycott their talent with him. I mean, he had to start over. It's a magical place.

I mean, it's, it's weird to describe, but I would even say that if you live within a trip of Minneapolis and you love comedy, it's worth going to Minneapolis just to go to action. Yeah. Just to be in that audience with a true comedy crowd. Oh my God. They're trained. They're trained.

Who won't let you get away with bullshit. Here he is. I asked Lewis how he was able to develop this with that crowd in Minneapolis. Rob. Rob. Rob. And that's kind of a secret too. Oh.

He did do me so right with this. I mean, he paid for this movie basically. Incredible. And once, and this is, I guess, tooting my own horn, but once he, he initially was going to get investors and then he saw my other film and he loved it and he called me and said, I'm going to pay for this movie because if anyone else pays for it, they're going to want to tell you what to do and I want you to make only the movie you want to make. So.

Nice. I can't wait to see it. I've never seen it. I'm excited to hear what you think. Yeah. You didn't come to the screening because our baby was a baby as well. Our baby was a baby. So some fun things happened over the last week.

I don't know how much you know about this, but. I know you have a local news adversary. Oh boy. That's right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

From Wham up in Rochester. Wham. One of our listeners. I want to give him credit. Did you dig it or bug? One of our listeners. You put the boom, boom into my body. Where is he?

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Oh. Rob. Rob. There's Lewis. Lewis. Especially on the grand penis. I'm asking you to engage in the content wherever you are, whenever you want it. Hey, check this out.

Take about 10, 12 Ben Endrell before you want to have your sexual fun with your partner. Find me on Facebook, Twitter, and 13wham.com. I'll be here to get you there. Okay. One of the guys there, that's Matt, and he and Scott co-host a show at Wham. I think it's Wham13wham.com. Dude day. Dude day.

And they host the show together. I think it's every day at 12.40 on Facebook Live. That was going to say, we really haven't plugged their Facebook. We plugged the Twitter, and that's been going well, but not so much the Facebook. This was amazing because these guys took a little jab at us last week. I'm sure that really went over well. They said that we do this show in a, they made fun of our studio here, and I was like, that's kind of weird.

We don't have basements in L.A. We don't have basements in L.A. We don't have basements in L.A. This is like a crazy nice studio. Well, I mean, only major movies have been composed in this very studio. Lock, Stock, and Barrel, you may have heard of that. Kick-ass was scored here. It's like, come on, man.

So I mean, and it doesn't, it's not like there's velvet fucking walls here. So like, it's kind of crazy. And then he was like, so, I mean, and they're doing it at like, you know, a local news studio. It's fine. Could be in a strip mall. It could be in a high school. It's fine. So then he was like, but then he furthered it and he was like, I checked out their shit.

It's not funny. It's both, they're seemingly funny and they're not. We're funny. So all we did was encourage people to tell them exactly how funny they were. And like, not even, you know, like to actually tell them they were funny. So they did. And you know, and then, and it started to get like pretty crazy. So everything he would post, like it's snowing here.

And then there would be like 70, yeah, people were like, I've never laughed this hard. And it just kept, kept piling on. Like people would just, just keep going, keep going, keep going. Don't forget that. That's what you did. We did. Don't forget the profile pics. People were changing their profile.

Well, first he actually got on that. So he changed his profile pic to me, but he did like this screen grab of when I was like, I'm super fucked up. So my eyes are drooping. And so that was his jab at, you know, at me, I guess. And then after two days of the podcast being out, he just went private. He was like, I'm not doing this. Well, that's a me.

I mean, look, he made his tweets private. That to me sounds like a surrender flag. Yeah. Yeah. Before he went private, a little lock on it. People, people were asking him. They were like, what's up? What's going on?

Like, what is going on, you know, like sincere people with your Twitter account? And he was like, well, we're getting trolled by a minor league podcast. Oh, you're just asking for, I don't have to say anything. You're just asking for more of it. Wait, if we're so minor league, why'd you have to shut your account? I know. So, so minor league. It was great because I'm 13.

Then a guy created. People created a bunch of accounts with his profile pic, like a lot. And then they started to, um, they started to tag, like, uh, like the, the fake account tagged us and Joey Diaz saying like, I'm going to sue you for this. And then Joey said, you could suck my dick and he's like, I got a Jew on retainer waiting for jerk off to show up. He has vastly none of his fingers ready to stick a hand in your asshole. He wasn't even realizing that this is not the real guy.

It's just a guy trolling him. Um, and then the new account got suspended because it was not, it's not a real account. Yeah. But it was, it was really, really funny. I mean, we got, um, we got CC'd on emails to him from listeners, like, dear Mr. Heskoe, I used to think labels like naturally funny and comedic genius were only reserved for legends such as Paul Rubens and good book, but not anymore as a recent newcomer to wham, my second favorite wham.

Sorry, fellas. You can't imagine my delight when I discovered that not only was I going to get Rochester's latest in breaking, latest in breaking on the eights. I was going to get an ab workout to the casual and in no way manufactured banter between you and that other guy is just the gold left in my psychologist suggested I start my day sometimes I get to laughing so hard that I forget all about my grandma, my grandpa and that Ferris wheel. What I appreciate most is that despite all the recent comparisons between you two and

other classic duos like Abbott and Castello and Frenjala, you guys stay humble. Keep up the great work. You two cards. TL. Wow. That is actual fan art. That is. Yeah.

Yeah. It's, um, people send them, you know, you guys are the funniest guys on TV. I was surfing the internet, you know, just glassing when I came across two clowns in a basement, making fun of you guys. Those hitlers wouldn't know comedy if they, if they won't do one in a hydration contest. You two are true personality champs and I should know because I'm a black man who just got out of prison and I like to find, I just wanted to give you a shout out to all my homies around the world and stuff like that in closing at all the haters, keep them high

and tight. Wow. So yeah, a bunch. I mean, a lot of stuff came in, but, uh, you guys, that was really funny. And I have to say that's kind of the, uh, the, the way to, you know, give somebody a jab back. It was like pleasant. Yeah.

It wasn't like, fuck you. It's like mass passive aggression. Yeah. It's fantastic. It was kind of great. I'm from Minnesota. I can understand. Mass passive aggression.

Yeah. That's, uh, that's part of the language there. Absolutely. Yeah. Um, so really, really fun. Um, and, and again, all hate, uh, all love and no hate. All of them. Have the haters, have the haters, have all the haters, um, and especially, I just want

to say a big shout out to the whole wham squad, um, we're a big, big fans. We also, by the way, had, uh, our, our good friend Joey Diaz here a week ago. And one of the things that he kept doing throughout the podcast was saying Christine It was so funny. And like, he's done that for as long as I've known him. He mispronounces a lot of things. Is that worse than mispronouncing someone though? Oh, good point.

Oh, nothing's as offensive as not knowing somebody's pronoun. That's true. That's true. That is pretty bad. It's really, but, um, he's been doing it for, I'd say a solid decade now since I've known him. And I just never corrected him. Cause I think it's,

He's not the kind of guy you correct. Well, it's a, No, it's not going to help. It's not going to help. And I just let, I give him a hall pass cause I love him so much and like, who cares? Yeah. Um, but it, it was so funny when he kept doing it during the episode cause you and I would just look at each other.

Christine passed the potatoes. I know it's, it was ridiculous. I'm going to tap you and go, Christine, you got wagging your ass or something like that. Yeah. It was not. Christine. They're going, Christine, how you doing? And then I tried to get him out of it.

Remember? Christina wasn't the way it is. No. Christina, when he kicked me in the stomach and ran out of it, so he knows, well, that's the thing. He just parroted you. He parroted me and he did it correctly for a while and then we were shooting a student film, Christine, back to Christine, but that's the thing.

It's like, does he know, and then he just forgets or does he know and he's doing it as a joke. He's not doing it as a joke. No, no, no. It's like the way he says Quinau and Lincoln did. It's just how Joey talks. It's how he talks. Yeah.

Yeah. We were on a flight once together. He's like, they're giving us Quinau up here in first class and I was like, Quinau. And I go, oh, you mean Keenan? And he goes, whatever the fuck. All right. I was like, he's not even, he's not trying to learn how to say it, right? You know?

Right. He's just communicating. Yeah. LinkedIn is LinkedIn. LinkedIn. Nice. Like, that's not even close, dude, but he also like, you couldn't tell him how to say it correctly.

No. And it's too funny. Every time he said, Christine, I was like, please let the audience be with me. I'm going to wear this. A little mashup here. Here's some fact, Tom and I had a conversation on a plane that I said to him, how's Christine handling this? Because I have friends like Joe Rogan.

This is the counter, right? Yeah. Those bars. Those one. So I was always real interested in Christine's transformation. Two. I was very interested. And then the luck of the looks.

And how she was going to react to it. And you said to me, don't ever become a woman, Christine, don't ever become a woman. By the way, that's one of my favorite parts of the whole thing, is that you miss a, your name. And he still doesn't get it. I know. Christine passed the potatoes. They're going, Christine, how you doing?

I'm going to shoot a student film, Christine. Yeah. 15 years ago. Who the fuck knows? Will I have to take my dick out in front of Christine and whack her? No. But would Christine wait to see if I'm evacuated? No.

Christine would have left. She sits around and waits for cum to come all over your stomach. And for me to sit there. I thought that laughed. Oh man. Christine wouldn't have waited. But no. Christine would have kicked me in the stomach and ran out.

He says it right. I know this for a fact. Yeah. Christine, hold on. Let's discuss. Got it right. I really like your podcast. So there's a duct.

And out of that duct. 10 minutes later. It's all pieces of the cow and the pig are not used. The hard steye brawls. Listen, if I'm fucked up and you got good pussy and I bend you over, he's 69. You eat your ass. It's not one to it.

You think I'm gonna tap you and go Christine? No. You got one. I'm a soldier. I got to eat it with that way. Isn't that so interesting? And you know what's funny? Because some people are like, what's the big deal?

Well, it's not really a big deal, but Christina and Christine are two different names. That is entirely. It's not even a Weinstein Weinstein. No. I mean, that's different names. Like people, because most people, I would say most that like this, by the way, the clip I just played, the video, if you want to watch the video of it, it's on

the, your mom's house podcast YouTube page. Um, most people were like, yeah, I was laughing through that. And then some people were like, what's the big, what, what's the problem? I'm like, well, it's not a problem, but it's like, I mean, if you call me Tim, it's like one letter is a difference. Of course. I'd be like, Hey, that's, that's not my thing. And you're someone who uses other people's names a lot.

Yeah. Yeah. Like me, it's not an issue because I rarely take the, you know, I'm rarely commit to people's full names in conversation. Yeah. Man, dude. Sure. You know, not doing so much.

Or it would be like adding a letter to his name, like adding an N and now it's Joni. Right. Well, Joni and Joey are two different names. No. How can you not think that's worth like thinking about? I'm calling Joe Rogan, Joey Rogan, like adding a Y to his name. It's not Joey Rogan, it's Joe Rogan.

Right. But see that, that's not even, I would feel like it'd be like if you called him Jon. Right. Jon Rogan. Yeah. Like Joe and Joey actually go together. Right.

But no one, no one uses Christina as short for Christina. No. And somebody, I also saw somebody say that they're like, Christine is a nickname for Christina. No, it's not. No, it's not. You're retarded. That's not, that's not, that's not correct.

I called Chris, Christy, Tina, Christy. Those could all be interchangeable. But Christina is not. Christina is not part of that. No. Yeah. So funny. Did you spend any Tina time in your life?

He only, Tommy calls me Tina. Actually the whole Segura clan calls me Tina. Tina. The only people in my life. Yeah. But by the way. They all call me Tommy. Yeah.

Tommy and Tina. Yeah. Now your dad does the same thing where he hears words differently. Yes. Mispronounces all these words. And now I just kind of roll with it, but I'm always like, what's that you just said? And he's like, this guy in the news is pedophile. Like a pedophile.

And I go pedophile. Yeah. Like he, he goes like, yeah, that's what I mean. But I'm like, why are you having trouble pronouncing it? Norm Crosby made a career of that exact thing. But I think it's, I think it is an ear thing. I think it's like, you have a bad ear. Cause you're mishearing things.

I suppose, but you, at some point you have to, you know, he's probably seen the word written though too. But he, like I was, this one didn't add. I mean, to bash on your dad. No, no, no. I mean, like he, like there's a football coach. Mark Rick is the head coach of Miami. If you've, my dad is into college football.

Like I am, you've known his name for over a decade. All right. I mean, this is a famous guy within that world. Right. It's RICHT and you've heard it hundreds of times. Head coach of Georgia, head coach at university of Miami. Hearing it all the time. He goes, you see this Mark rich thing.

And I'm like, dude, you know, that's not his name. Like, you know, it's not, you know, it's Mark Rick. And he's like, yeah. Yeah. But you saw that with the, and I'm like, he just goes around it. Right. But he mispronounces words like Joey does all the time. That's interesting too, because both of them are native English speakers.

It's not, it's not like you're, I, I think you were, I'd never thought of it. I thought you were onto something with saying that it's maybe a tone, like an ear thing. Like you're, They can't, they're not hearing it properly. You hear fine, but you just, yeah. Some, some part of like, yeah. I have a friend though who is, who has that, just that glitch with names. He will always mispronounce people's last names.

He knows them, but he'll still call him Jerry Steinfeld. You know? Really? Jerry Steinfeld. Like he knows, like in his thing, he knows, but when he says it, it comes out wrong. And it's like, Maybe it's like nerves of speaking. Yeah.

It's just, it's some kind of tick. Yeah. But it, but it's been, I've known him for 30 years and, and it's just, it's always been there. He, and it's, you know, and it's funny cause he's always mispronouncing people's names. Yeah. We're always like, well, my dad says one of these is he always look at each other. Like, like these,

Like you were on that video with, Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's not how you say that. People love calling me not my name, like that guy called me Jean. Remember when we have a sweatshirt dedicated to that. Yeah.

And the politician came over and I call her Jean as a pet name. Right. And then he was like, Jean. He yelled up there. But after I had introduced myself as Christina and we dealt with each other for a few days. Yeah. And he changed it to Jean. He just changed it.

So weird. He must have thought like, oh, I must, I misheard that shit. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It was Gina, Kris Gina. I don't know. We got some emails.

Can I use the word dump in court? I'm an attorney for the government. Yeah. I work for family court. I mostly handle custody and child support trials. It's not uncommon for people to accuse each other of crazy stuff. Recently, I had a guy talk about how his son, his soon to be ex-wife takes huge man dumps. While I'm upset that he's assumed that dumps gender can't help but question if using the

term dump was the most appropriate word choice. Is dump really the least offensive term machines within Megan? No, defecation would be the court term, I'd say. Follow movements. Yeah. BMS, if you want to be even more PC. But I mean, dump is going to get you reprimanded by some judges. Yeah.

But it's not as bad as saying shit, right? Oh, you can't see. Yes. Yeah. It's right on the decorum line. It's on the decorum line. Crap. Or if they use like another word like, oh, she was, you know, she took huge growlers and

then the judge is like, what? And then you have to explain what that means. Or like, don't do that. But dump is definitely on the line. It's, hey, we taught our two year old dump knowing that when he goes to preschool. I really hope he says it. Because I think that that is a funny, inappropriate, but not too inappropriate. But not child services inappropriate.

Yeah, exactly. It's how funny would it be to hear a kid go, I got to take a dump. I would love to hear that. My favorite thing to teach kids your age is don't patronize me. Oh, that's hilarious. Forget about it. That is great. Don't patronize me.

I like that. That is something come hugging here. And mommy's, I was running later to my hot black boyfriend who was still in prison. I can't wait for him to get out so he can piss on me and beat me. I can't wait for you guys to watch next week. I got to wondering if hugs and kisses at the end of the letter is XOXO. What letter would be used for a come hug? I picked Z your thoughts.

We have to let Josh know what's going on. This is like fucking speaking Cantonese to him. Yeah. I know the landscape. I knew that. Yeah. I'm coming into it. There's a, there's a twin language going on here that you have with your fans.

I understand. Well, come huggers just so you know, you know, this is, these are people who achieve orgasm through hugging, whether or not as opposed to, well, that's a good point. We feel like there's probably full of shit, you know, I mean, I see that they're laughing. This guy, come on. They're really busting in that from the hug. Are they claiming some sort of tantric thing? Yes.

Sting, Sting claims that shit too with his wife. He says so. Six hour sessions of tantric love. I know exactly. Why would you even want that in your life? The black guy in prison, like that whole thing is in reference to this guy. Black guys who love to fuck and fuck good. If you're a hot black guy and you want to fuck me at 23.95.

If you want to move in, you can move in, but you got to fuck these. I mean, I need to be fucked a lot, man. Get free food, free rent and everything else, man. There's a deal, man. You cut out the address. Yeah. You're a thug. You want to come, move in.

A friend can move with you too, man. Wow. Free rent. You can at least have a cake. Fuck me. Piss off me. Beat me. Home, you know.

So that's what that's, you know. What do you think of that? I don't know if you're looking for a place to live right now. I always am looking for, you know. Free way to crash. Yeah, yeah. It could be something that works. What do you think's going on with that?

I'm looking for someone with a slightly lower self-esteem than that. But, you know, I could work him. What do you think's going on with that guy? I think he has self-worth issues. Oh. I think. That's a good answer. I think he's opening himself up to more of the same.

Yeah. It's a delicate way of putting that. Tom and I didn't even see that. Yeah. He's like a cool guy. Who's open? Yeah. Yeah.

Very open to prisoners. Yeah. Not judgmental about people's past. Tom, Rick, you're homeless. Come and piss on me. Yeah. Try it out. Seriously.

That is kind of how I thought. I did see him as like this ultra open sexual guy. Pansexual, polyamorous, polyamorous, whatever. Good guy. He's a good guy. Hey, Hitler. I was wondering if you ever. Call me whatever pronoun you want.

Oh, he definitely won't care. He doesn't care. If you've ever had a front pipe, we can come up with a better name. Recently I was shaving and I felt like I had to fart. I squeezed my butt cheeks. And the fart went up front between my thighs and came out under my ball sack. That day changed my life and I made an art of it. From now on, I'm only front piping.

Stay hydrated. You have a lot to catch up on, Christina, keeping his Gs high and tight. Patrick from Poland. I think he's saying that the air. He squeezed the bottom end of the crack. I don't understand. And forced it up. Top end?

Yeah. He, he, he aerated his taint with it. I squeezed my cheeks. The fart went up front between my thighs and came out under my ball sack. Hold on, hold on. He squeezed, hold on. He squeezes his butt cheeks and then the air go. It went up to his taint, up past his balls and through his thighs.

Is that what he's saying? Yeah, that's what he's saying. I've had that happen before. I didn't go out back. It went out front. I've had it happen to me before in my vagine. Yeah. With the way you're sitting.

It's a neat story. You know the fart chair analysis room? Yeah, but we have a chair that we sit on in our son's room that it's just like a plastic stool and it's horribly uncomfortable, but it makes, it makes the best farts in the house. Yeah. Like you could do that in that chair. Yeah. It's like that King Ash Ripper dresser video or whatever it is.

F-A-R-T. It is. It's pretty good. It's pretty good. Yeah. You have to angle it until you're kind of leaning back and then, and then it'll go there. This is a, this is a way to cure my snoring. Yeah.

I thought we already addressed snoring. I wear a mouth guard. Yeah. And this is like five years ago. Maybe they're listening to old things. My name is Neil. I listened to episode 422 hearing Jean's talk about snoring. I figured I'd throw my two cents on the matter.

I picked up learning didgeridoo, which. I've done that. Yeah. I played the didgeridoo. Wow. Wow. Wow. One month into playing the didge, my wife told me I stopped snoring.

Wow. Some research on this matter actually become, has come, has some backing in alternative medicine and didgeridoo communities. You would be able to ditch the mouthpiece at night. Okay. So this person is telling Neil is saying, learn the didgeridoo and then, but I like the mouth piece. It's all about circular breathing, my friend.

I like it. Do you, do you wear a mouth guard? I don't. No. No, I stopped snoring for the most part when I stopped smoking. Wow. Did you smoke a lot? Yeah.

Oh yeah. Really? Yeah. And I got cancer. So it all worked out. Yeah. That's not just a joke. He did.

Yeah. I know. I didn't think it was a joke. I know. That was my joke. Oh. And he's like, he's always doing the cancer. I did material about it in front of you at the wheelchair.

Oh yeah. That's right. Um, which is really fun, by the way. You're cancer-free now. I am. As far as I know. Yeah. How often do you, how often does somebody who goes through the horrificness of getting

cancer? How often do you have to like check up? I get a once a year scan. I get an MRI on my abdomen and usually a CT on my lungs once a year. You had something removed? Kidney cancer. You had kidney cancer. Oh my God.

You had a kidney taken out. Oh my God. I know. And it was actually right before this movie that I shot. That you had it removed? Yeah. Yeah. I think I remember that.

And in fact, when Lewis asked me about the movie, I said, let me think about it and then I got cancer and he didn't hear from me for many months and he thought I was bailing on him. And then I called him up and he was like, oh, you want to do it? Yeah. Man. It was that, what's it like to have a kidney, is it terrifying to have that procedure done? It feels like it.

Yeah. It was like, it was, there was like a series of medical things that happened. So by that point I wasn't still terrified of stuff, but it was, it was, you know, I was actually on stage less than three weeks later talking about it. Oh my God. So it was like I was in the hospital for a day and I don't, the only difference in my life is I can't take Advil anymore. I can't take.

Really? That's the only difference? Can't take Ibuprofen. That's what my guy said. Basically. So that just won't, you know, process well without the, yeah, it's hard on kidneys and since I only have one, he's just like, you know, what about booze? Booze is fine.

Really? Thank God. Thank God. It wasn't my liver. But that's totally fine. Yeah. I mean, I look, I don't drink all that much, but, but yeah, no, does it affect you differently since?

No, no, no. Because that's a liver thing. Yeah. So the kidneys are completely removed from that whole process? I think so, except for, they process the, they get rid of the water content once it's been processed. Right. Yeah.

So it doesn't matter though. Yeah. I can still drink. I can still smoke pot and that's all I really need. Let's blow people's minds that don't know super fans are going to, you know, people who loved the show. You are one of the OGs of Mystery Science Theater. Yeah.

Yes, I am. Such a good show. How did, I mean, that's crazy, man. I was like, wait, what? Like how did, how did you guys come up with that show? Well, it was, Joel Hodgson really came up with the sort of framework of it. This was, this was 88, I was 17. And it was at a local TV station, it was like a UHF station, which don't exist anymore.

And the concept for people that don't know was? The concept was a guy gets shot into space and is forced to watch bad science fiction movies with his robot pals. And you guys would just write jokes. Well, we wouldn't. Initially, we didn't write shit. Initially, it was an all improv show. Okay.

And so, and that's kind of how it developed. We did 20 on this local TV station. And each week we'd start, you know, it didn't even start. The premise of the show wasn't joke, joke, joke, joke, joke. It was a hosted movie like they used to have on local TV, except for the host actually goes into the theater and watches it with you instead of just coming out at the commercials. You know, that was kind of the premise. And then we started making comments, you know, and then you start feeling the absence of

comments. Once you start making more and more. So each week we'd kind of just see like how many jokes can you pack into this without pissing people off. Yeah. And, you know, at that point we had like a four or five joke a minute rule and, you know, but since then it's, you know, like you can get eight or nine jokes in a minute, you know. Wow.

And then you guys did. So you're 17. Yeah, I was 17. And you're like, get working. Like, do you get a contract for this TV portion or are you like, I'm going to do TV now. This is wild. Yeah. There was no money.

I mean, I got, I got pretty boned over on the whole thing. But then you did, but you then you guys did the live show later. Yeah. Years later, like 10, you know, 10 years ago, we reunited the original cast plus a couple more. And we did a thing called cinematic Titanic and toured, you know, a lot of the same theaters you're playing this year and we did a dozen DVDs. And that's available on Amazon, cinematic Titanic box set came out this year.

That's cool though. 12 movies and whatever I tell, like when I would introduce you because you came on some of these dates this year, which was, yeah, and I would say, uh, one of the original cast members of mystery science theater, like you would always hear people like, oh, you hear like the murmuring in the crowd. Always. Yeah. That's fun.

Yeah. I mean, that's a very cool credit. We love that in high school. That was like a cool kid show, you know, mystery science, you know, theater is, I've never heard of it or heard of it as a cool kid show. Yeah. Well, cool kid. Meaning you had the scene.

A nerd ghetto, maybe. It's a nerd show, but like nerd is cool now. I think that's the whole thing. Well, that's why we're talking about it. Or weird. Just get weirdly 30 years later. Yeah. Yeah.

And then you were also a writer on freaks and geeks, which is another nerd. But now I'm, I'm Mr. Kult Kred. Yeah. That's awesome, man. Yeah. It's, it's, it's so cool to live in a time when your shit lives on. Yeah. You know, like when we were doing mystery science theater, there were no box sets.

There were no, you know, there was no second life for things other than, you know, some shit occasionally went to cable, you know, but, you know, and, and, you know, freaks and geeks was one of the very first DVD box sets of a TV show because it was only 18 episodes that ever existed. So it was easy for the company to do it. Sure. So Danes was in it and no, that was my so-called love. Oh, sorry.

Wait a minute. Freaks and Geeks was James Franco and Seth Rogen. Sorry, sorry. But they got away in. It was about freaks and geeks. All those people. This wild as yet, the success of the cast and also just how well regarded the show is for having like a pretty short, like how many aired, wasn't it like, well, even, well, 18 were

made. Were made, but they didn't. But they didn't all air on NBC. Yeah. The Fox family or whatever it was at the time, picked it up and they aired the whole series. And then, you know, it's run a bunch and now it's on Netflix and all that stuff. Yeah. That was, you know, that was 99, 2000, I think, you know, that's almost 20 years ago now.

And people still regard it as kind of part of the current TV landscape and it's, it's amazing. Amazing. And I'm proud of it. You know, it's also weird to talk about shit you did that long ago for that long, right? And not seem sad, but, but, you know, but it's what I got. No. Yeah.

It's a great credit to one of those ones that like you say to somebody, everyone's like, oh, shit. You just start here and go, you're on from the freezing gigs. Right. Yeah. And those credits are rare these days because now the, you know, the universe is so wide, you can, you can do a popular TV show and still have people go, no, never heard of it. It's, I mean, Christina just found the, um, on our TV that you can link up Amazon Prime

because that for, you know, sometimes there's streaming services, but you're like, I don't know how to get that on my TV. Right. So we obviously would have, we've had Netflix for years now and, uh, you know, your HBO go stuff, but then you're like, how do I watch? I forget it. She's like, oh, no, it's here now with, on, you know, on this presses button, there's the Amazon priming and then there's this show that clearly has a fucking multi-million

dollar budget. I'm like, what is this? Right. I've never heard of this. And that feels like totally indicative of the content world that we're in today, where it's just like content is spread out everywhere. And unless it becomes, you know, like one of those hit shows or something you discover, like most conversations with shows, you're like, I don't, what is that?

Where's that airing? I don't know what that is. Yeah. It's just a bunch of private clubs almost. We have been watching though, the hand job mates, which is fantastic. Have you seen that show? I have. It's fantastic.

It's really great. How I got away with not reading it in high school because everybody did, but we are really into it and how many hand jobs she gives in every episode is just astounding. If you guys have not... I didn't realize it was a painting show. Right. Yes. Right.

I really liked it. It's really fantastic. Hulu, this was like, this is their, this is like their house of cards, like they're calling their cards. The prestige. Yeah. The prestige piece. I don't know how much they put into this, but it's definitely up there.

I mean, it's a high quality production. But the writing and the acting is just tremendous, man. Go check out hand job, handmade tales, right? Hand job made. Hand-made. Hand-made tale. Hand-made tale. Hands and jobs.

Hand-made tales. Hand-made tales. Yeah. It's basically in the future, guys can't come and then there's like... They can come, but they can't fertilize eggs. So they get these girls. They just save it in ice cube trays. Yeah.

They go, we can help you guys come and they give like these magical hand jobs, but it's better than what I'm describing it as. It's really good. It's kind of a bummer, but in a good way because you... A good bummer. Yeah. You're like hopeful for what's going to happen. They think it's dystopian and I don't see it.

I don't see it. This looks great for ladies. Jean, do people with glass eyes have to blink or do they only blink one eye? Also do you have to lube up the eye socket? What are proper eye socket? What's proper eye socket hygiene? I seen mommy tea a few weeks ago in beautiful Reading, Pennsylvania. Thanks for the entertainment, Mike.

I don't know if somebody with a full like prosthetic eye. I know a guy who lost vision and I and wears a glass piece over that eye so you don't necessarily, you can't necessarily tell. All right. Okay. That's more of a window. It's a window. Yes.

And you know, unless he brings it up, you wouldn't know anything. Right. I mean, who are we though? Optomologists? Who the fucking... No, I'm saying that's my experience with it. So if anybody out there knows more about it and would like to report on eye, fake eye hygiene and how that all works.

Is there a socket douche that they make? Yeah. Do you ever... I mean, if you do that, he has this glass piece. That's what it is. It's like a glass piece that he pops it and it covers because the eye itself is just totally white and dead. Okay.

But it makes it basic. It's not... It's just him being polite. It's him being polite. So it doesn't terrify people. Right. Yeah. Because it's just this dead white eye.

I don't know. I mean, it looks nice. He took it out one time and he dropped it. And he was like, don't fucking... He goes, don't move. That's an $800 eye. And then looked around, he dropped it in the grass. That's a bummer.

Yeah. It's not like losing your retainers. No. It's $200. It's like, don't fucking step on that thing, man. Don't step on my eye, bro. Yeah. So, yeah.

I mean, that's... Gene, we got... Oh, we got to do this real quick. Hold on one second and I'm going to ask you first, Joshua. Okay. Hold on. We always ask our guests when they're in here for a dental update, how are your teeth? What's your dental hygiene like?

What's going on there? Recent, I had a little cavity on the back of my front tooth. Oh. I have veneers on the front. Wait a minute. You can get cavities on veneers. You can get cavities on the remaining tooth behind the veneer. Think about that.

OMG. I didn't think about it myself. Wait a minute. But my veneers are fully... Okay, they shave down your little teeth. They do. But the back of it, it's all... It's like three sides of the tooth is the veneer.

And then the back of it is actual tooth-ified. I didn't know that. Yeah. Otherwise, it's a cap, I think. Correct. Oh, my God. So, but otherwise, I got a little enamel issues on the side. I'm getting old.

Your enamel, it just... Over... As you get older, it gets worse? It's just a little worn away. They gave me a tooth paste. Like, they recommended this Japanese toothpaste, which like rebuilds your enamel. Like our cold toothpaste. Interesting.

And I'm using a thing called Smart Floss, which is really a product I would recommend. Oh, wow. What's that? It says floss that it kind of... You put it in your teeth and it kind of expands once it's in there. So, when you lift it out, it like really does a nice... Oh. A nice full clean.

See, I like that. Yeah. I like Smart Floss. I really like it. Normally, I wouldn't go out on a floss limb like that, but... But that's how you feel. It's a breakthrough product. We got this email.

I must get this dental update off my chest. Your show has given me the inspiration to share my story. I'm 31 years old, 100% addicted to smokeless tobacco. I started dipping at 17 over the years it developed into a true love affair. I'm not proud of the habit. Hundreds of dollars to spend a year. I really started feeling like I was literally spitting in the face of the dental hygienist profession. I've been able to quit on two or three occasions,

but the companionship of the devil's leaf has provided me on long road trips. I couldn't help but pass it up. I have experienced every possible disgusting consequence of chew. Spilled it. My car filled with sour root beer aroma. Confused a spitter for a fresh beer. You name it. Oh, God.

Mouth cancer? Is that one of them? Oh, I guess we'll get there. Let's see. More recently, I actually enjoyed falling to sleep with a bit of long cut to induce lucid dreaming. A nicotine drip during REM sleep is truly bizarre. If you can handle the inevitability of waking up to a spit stains pillow or swallowing a juicy subconscious mouthful of wintergreen, it is crazy.

But it's either take that or 10 to 12 Benadryl to get my fix. I don't want to die before buns drops into the special. Needless to say, the dental health costs have mounted. Dry mouth, shredded gums, inflamed taste buds of the tongue, stained pearls. Jesus Christ. Sounds worth it to me. To my embarrassment with the doctor, I take my dad mouth hygiene pretty seriously. Mouthwash, flossing, brushing dailies, how I combat the certain chomper rot that would

ensue. Fortunately, military health benefits require regular trips to the dentist, and in all my years of smokeless tobacco use, I remain cancer and cavity free. Nice. Wow. So quit while you're ahead. Erin, stop it. Absolutely.

Stop now, bro. Don't tempt fate. I can vouch for the nicotine dream thing though, because one of the times when I was quitting and I was using the patch, I would wear it to bed and it does fuck up your dreams. It does. Fun. Yeah, not so fun. Not so fun.

Not so fun. No, scary. Well, just enough. You know, anytime your dreams are off their regular pattern, it like it shakes your foundation kind of. Yeah. So yeah, there was a little bit of a little too lucid. Another email that came in, hey, I'm the guy that did the rub, rub, rub shirt, Tina's

favorite t-shirt design. I suffer from extreme anxiety when it comes to going to the dentist, going to the dentist. One might say I have a severe case of odontophobia. Anyway, last time I went to the dentist was five years ago. I was still a student, was not doing the bath, taking care of my teeth. I was at risk for gum disease. I had bad genetics, smoked cigarettes, not flossing seriously. I finally went to the dentist.

No cavities, no root kernels, nothing scary at all. The dentist even said that since I started taking flossing seriously, using a water pick, electric toothbrush, and using mouthwash two or three times a day that I reversed the early onset gum disease that I mentioned I also quit smoking. So that is great news for this guy. He said, thank you so much for shaming me into going to the dentist. I couldn't be happier with my now pearly whites. And he was at the Ann Arbor show, Mark, aka the rub rub rub shirt guy.

Take care of your teeth, dude, go to the dentist. Well done. Well, look, it's time. I know you guys have wanted to hear it, to see it. It's time for more 69 at 69. Is that like traffic on the fives? Sort of like that. This summer my dad turned 70.

And when we were at, we had kind of a family get together. One of the nights where we were having dinner to celebrate, my mom, who's English is pretty good, but definitely she's not up on like slang or anything. I said, you know, dad's turning 70 tomorrow, are you going to 69 tonight? She was like, what? And then it became like this kind of gag throughout the weekend, teacher what 69 was and 69 at 70. And this whole nonsense, it's just super stupid.

But we started to tell people about it on the podcast and we asked them to ask their mothers if they would 69 their fathers when they turned 70 and people have been recording video and sending it to us. So it's, um, God bless them. God bless them. Yeah. I love these. When Ben turned 69, do you think that you guys are going to 69?

No. Love you, dad. Just relax away. Love you. There's all different reactions. No. Love you, dad. Love you, though.

Sometimes they laugh, sometimes they're like, so mom, seriously, you think when Rob turns 70, you guys will 69 and celebrate? Just, look out. I'm not, I'm gay. You're gay? I'm gay. Dads are always gay. Yeah.

That's Ty. Dads are always down with 60. Dads are always down. The moms are never down. Mom's are not. What is it outside right now? This is Brad from Texas. This is the last day when Steve is turning 70 from 69.

Are you guys going to 69? We might. Sometimes they're fun about it. Yeah. So mom. So mom's are fun. She's not going to like it. Yeah.

For your birthday. So are you going to, on dad's, look tonight before dad's 70th birthday? Are you going to 69 him in the 70? Are you going to 69 him on his, on his 69? I can't put this on the slide. She makes me 69 every birthday. Stop it. I love her reaction.

Stop it. Totally like, knock this nonsense off. But she, and she played it so she could be embarrassed by her husband instead of her son. Yeah. Yeah. True. You know, dad's going to turn 70. This is Bert. Sure. But at some point.

Right. Correct. So do you think on the last day before he turned 70 that you guys will 69? Do you think so? I love her reaction. It's just an understated like smile of like, that's so stupid. I don't think your dad can get on his knees anymore. Honestly.

She doesn't even get it. No. No what? That's a 67. That's what I'm saying. That's fine. No knees required. Here's Logan.

So how old are you again? I am 64. All right. So when you and grandpa are about to turn 70? Yes. Are you going to 69 the night before? I'm not sure I remember what 69 is. All right.

So 69. But I remember it's dirty. Nuts in your face. And then, and then there's, and then there's the gene in grandpa's face. Oh my God. No. No? No.

No? You're not? No. I might be ill at this point. Do you have a garbage thing? Throw it. Here's Nigel. Hey, I have a question.

So, since you're kind of, you know, you're getting there. You're not there yet, but you'll be there soon. I have a real serious question. Serious. Good setup. When dad turned 70? Are you guys going to 69 the night before in honor of? So stupid.

I think we will. Oh man. She had a good sense of humor. I think we will. If my son asked me that I would laugh so hard, I don't think I'd be able to answer that. It's a tainted experience though, so to speak, but that wasn't my point. Because you're asking people who raised your fans to be offended by this shit. I know.

That's true. But some of them are squares. Some of them are, you can tell. Some of the moms are not interested in the fun of it. Here's the last one. It's from Dan. How old is dad? 63.

63. So do you think like before he turned 70, like the night before, you guys will 69? That's my favorite one. Get out of here. I think you should actually put that sound clip into your opening montage. Her reaction to, she just like processes it. Stupid. Go.

Get out. And then she disappears like Barbara Eaton did on the journey. What was that? And Dora just popped up. That was fantastic. That was great. God, I wish my mom was still alive. I could ask her the same question.

Just for that reason. Oh my God. My mom bought it. Yeah. My mom actually gave me permission to say any fucking thing I want to do about it on stage. Really? Yeah. And then she died too.

I was going to say, yeah, that's the best license of all in her day. Yeah. Oh yeah. You can't feel bad. My mom knew, my mom knew all that sex stuff because she was in, she listened to Dr. Ruth Westheimer and stuff. Yeah. She was very into sexual stuff.

Yeah. My parents were like super into not censoring. Yeah. That was their big thing was there's no such thing as bad information. You're lucky, man. Yeah. I was lucky in a lot of ways. They're both dead.

So, you know, they took it off the end. No, no, no. I know. But yeah, it was, they were like, you know, if I would have said, mom, can I have a playboy? She would be buying me a playboy. Really? Yeah. She would rather not have it be like the shameful thing then.

Oh really? Pretty cool. Yeah. So she would buy you, playboy, would she have bought you pornography? If you're like, I like to see a porno video. She did rent, I did ask her, we were at the video store and I asked her if I could rent Caligula once. And that was, that's pretty gnarly.

Got some tits in it. It's got, what's got, yeah, insane shit in it. I've never, I've never heard of it. It was, it was this, it was this weird hybrid of like a high, it was supposed to be this high-class porn. Oh. And it was like Bob Guccione who did. Who did Penthouse.

Yeah. Who was the Penthouse owner. And it was like, like John Gilgood and, and Malcolm McDowell. I mean, it was like big British actors doing this, what, you know, big giant Roman epic porn movie, essentially. Yeah. Wow. Wouldn't that be neat if they did porn that way today with like really big actors?

Yeah. It was a weird experiment. Like Kate Beckinsale. And she'd be like, all right, spread them. And then that would be crazy. They spent real money, right? That was real money and real production. And then there was actual sex, right?

Yeah. There was actual sex. And there was, I mean, there was like women with snakes in it. There's the scene where a guy, where he's punishing a soldier and he ties off his dick. And then they fill him with wine and then cut open his stomach. Jesus. God damn. Sounds good.

It's a graphic movie for a mom to rent her kid. How old are you? I was probably maybe 13 or 14. Well, you're ready for it. Yeah. It's fine. If you're asking about it. Yeah.

Yeah. I don't know. If it's different if she made you wash it when you're like eight. Yeah, that would be weird. That's different. Yeah. That would be, that would be totally, totally weird. Do you, do you know what's going to happen with your other doc?

I believe it'll be. Can you talk about it for a second? Oh, sure. It's right now. At least the distributor wants to maybe change the name. Right now it's called Michael Day Bar. Who do you want me to be? And it's about this rock star.

I'm using star and quotes, but rock star type and rock singer and actor who's had this crazy 50 year odyssey through show business. And he grew up like the son of a junkie and a hooker, you know, a junkie aristocrat who was a marquee in England. Yeah. And then like raised by strippers till age eight. And then at age eight, he was sent off to like high end British boarding schools because his father had paid for them when he was born and then went broke.

And so, but then he grew up in the mid sixties. He was a teenager mid sixties Britain and he became, you know, he was one of the kids and to serve with love with Sidney Poitier. And then, you know, he, he was one of pioneer of glam rock. And then he was on one of Led Zeppelin's label with another band. And then he played live aid. He replaced Robert Palmer at live aid and the power station, you know, but all along he's also like the villain on MacGyver Murdoch and on WKRP and guest starred like on every TV

show from the seventies and eighties from Seinfeld to Quincy, you know. Yeah. And so he's just this guy who's just always kind of been there. Yeah. And, you know, and, and has, and has developed into a human over the course of all of that, you know, and it took all of that for him to develop into a human. But at the end of it, now he's nearing 70. He has 69 at 70.

Yeah. He, if anyone is, anyone is, is that the closer in the documentary, I think, I think he turned 70 in January and let's, let's get him on the phone. And so you might change it, but this will hopefully come out at some point soon. Yeah. Yeah. I'm thinking in the fall, I'm like writing the last checks for music right now. And I'm, I've got photo rights that I have to still clear up.

But, but probably in the spring, I'm sorry, the spring of, of 18. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, one of the things I love about what the doc that you made with us, with the standup doc is that it was basically, it's like you're a standup comic who kind of left standup basically for, you know, for the most part. You never completely left, but let's stop doing it for real. Yeah.

But then like the, the doc is basically in a way your love letter to stand up in a weird way. I, if you think of it that way, I love that. Yeah. I mean, I, I, it is absolutely. And it's, you know, and some to Lewis Lee, you know, Yeah. It's like a love letter to that.

And I feel like you, obviously you get the Asia experience and that whole, like the, the A storyline, but I feel like that other storyline is what the heart of the movie. I think it is too. And I think it's, you know, I think, I mean, the movie really feels like going on that trip, I think. Yeah. And it highlights all the things I really love about hanging with comics and, you know, and, and, and people who are decent, decent people out there doing this thing that I love,

you know, it's not about, you know, look at this sad asshole. It's not, it's not that movie. It's, it's, you know, it's, these are the three very different guys who develop a relationship over the course of a week. And, you know, and it's also about that real anxiety of doing stand up in somewhere so foreign, you know, and, and under such sort of stress conditions almost, you know, but all of that is kind of what I like to, you know, you know, you know, getting someone like you who's been doing it so long, nervous and excited to do stand up.

Yeah. It was cool. It's a cool thing. You know, and you were so open about what you were feeling, including the fear and the anxiety. And, you know, Tom even downloaded his album in Singapore because he had to go do old stuff. He didn't feel right.

Yeah. Yeah. To like get comfortable. I was like, I'm not doing new stuff. I'm going to do old stuff right now. Yeah. But I forgot how those bits go. Yeah.

I've done that a few times. I had a private event and when I got to the venue, it was like a few hours before the show, one of like the guys that was like, you know, running the private event was like, we're really looking forward to hearing this, this, this and this. Oh, they had a request list. Yeah. And I was like, okay. And he's like, yeah.

So he'd come back at like, you know, seven, we'll set you up. And I was like, great. And I go right up to my room, sign online and just start listening to those bits. Cause I was like, I haven't done those bits in like a year or more. Right. And they don't know it's, it's muscle memory. They don't know. Yeah.

It's muscle memory with a bit. I've already forgotten stuff on my hour. I don't know. Oh, definitely. It goes in June. What goes is like, is the, um, the smoothness of how the per, like how a fan would enjoy the bit, the sharpness, you know, the beats, the pause here that you don't even think about. You forget that cause you're not practicing it anymore.

Right. Yeah. I've had because I have, even now, you know, like I've done, I think I hadn't done a set for a month before the Wiltern show last week. Yeah. You know, I have to really like, I have to almost think of it as an acting gig now. Yeah. When I, when I'm, you know, it's like, I just had need to like really at least load in that

first few minutes in my head so that I can perform them with, with fake confidence until I get to my real confidence. Sure. Yeah. Yeah. Um, and I always want to honor this one. It happens. So just real quick.

Um, let's see if I can, is this not playing? That's good. All right. Well, Wait. I want, I even talked about how I went to New York city last week. We'll talk about it. I went to Jewdork titties and I got to do the Howard Stern wrap up show.

Oh, fantastic. How was it? Um, it's kind of my mecca because I grew up listening to him since I was 14 and I fucking, I almost passed out. I was so excited and I don't really get excited about shit anymore. You know what I mean? Like especially in showbiz, I don't give a fuck about celebrities or anybody, but Howard Stern show is like my favorite.

So they were so nice to me. Everybody was so nice. So they were amazing. God. They gave me a little tour of the studio and he showed me like the Gary puppet and the fucking Gary, Delabate Gary, Delabate and the Baba Louis doll and the box that he talks to Howard through. I almost shit my pants.

Yeah. I got to see where they all sit and like Robin's a little pedestal with her, her glitter pillow. I almost shit my pants, man. Really cool. I was so excited. I've never, I'll say this. God.

She makes fun of me for not getting excited. I only get excited in certain. She's like, I've never seen you that excited. But I can say that in the, I don't know, the 35 plus years that I've been with you. Stop it. I really can't think of that many times where I heard you as excited and nervous as she was to go do it. I don't call afterwards.

That really was something. I was terrified because I can, these are my heroes and to sit in their room with like Baba Bowie and John Hine and like, I listen to these guys every day on the fucking wrap up show and to talk about the people I love. It was crazy. I got to talk to you about Scott, the engineer, because he takes like 13 different medicines every day. Yeah.

So crazy. It was great. That's awesome. So great. Yeah. I'm really happy. Dream come true guys. I really didn't.

I was like, oh yeah, that's cool. She was like, you didn't get it. No. I mean, like, but then I started to get it as that trip was going coming. And then she was like, I'm going in tomorrow. I got so nervous. I don't know. I'm like, wow.

Like she was so excited. I couldn't believe it. That's very cool that you got that excited. I don't know. I haven't listened to it yet. You also saw Bennington when you were there? Yes. Ron Bennington and his daughter, Gail, they let me on their show and we talked about you

and how successful you are and how great we did. He was like, you've had a great year. And I was like, not as great as Tom Segura. Geez. Yeah. I told Tom this story, but a friend of mine was talking, he was talking to his banker, essentially. He's like a, he's, he's one of the cinematic Titanic guys, one of the mystery science founder

guys. And so they kind of knew he was a comedian and they were going, what you should do is get a Netflix special and you know, my friend's son got a Netflix special. It's really good money. Oh, who's your, who's your friend's son? Segura is the name. Oh, Christ. Just get one of those.

That means they talked to my dad and my dad was like, got paid well. Oh, yeah. So silly. Yep. I didn't get that Schumer money. I just got it. Yeah. Could you imagine millions?

Oh my God. No. I think people think that they're like, oh, because they hear the highly publicized ones. Right. They hear like Chappelle Rock Schumer and they're like, so you got like millions of dollars this way. No, I didn't get, look, his fucking business manager got more than I got to do. Right.

And I'm not complaining. I'm just saying like, don't get it twisted, dude. Right. It's not like, yeah. I'm not getting my sign fill gets a hundred million and I get 80. No. Because I'm not. I thought it was.

Yeah. Like when I saw the public, I was like, are we going to get millions of dollars? I'm like, no, you're not. No, they pay you. Don't get me wrong. They pay you. Yeah. No.

It's not. I mean, we're all happy. You know, we're not, we're not complaining. Fuck. You guys are doing good. We're doing good. You guys are doing good. Yeah.

I'm not a fucking documentary coming out on iTunes. Well, hey, dude. Hey. That is good. That is good. You're doing good. Yes. You're doing great.

I've loved documentaries. Is that for my bag? No. How was your wrap-up calendar? No. This was actually for this that came in. I wanted to give it a try. Oh.

What, what are you saying just happened to me? Um, I said, I said, I broke and farted at the same time and ended at the same time. Are you sure? Yes. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Sorry. I'm not sure. Yes. That's really rare. You do that, right? Yes.

So that little girl came from Joshua. Experienced a real double-pipe class. Is that the youngest double-pipe class? I think, I mean, people have said that their babies have had them. But that's involuntary. I think you have to know what's happening though. Yeah. Yeah.

For it to really come. Yes. Yes. I agree, Joe. Oh, here we go. It's Fiona. Congratulations, Fiona. Great job.

Adorable and you're, you're really doing the Lord's work. He selected you actually to be his vessel in that. His youngest vessel. Yeah. From your mom's house. Really, really special moment. Have you ever had a double-pipe classic? I think I have.

I can't document it. Oh, well, then you haven't. You haven't. You'd know. It, you know, it was in that. I was going to give you a shirt, but no, I can't. It was in the course of puking. Oh.

No, that doesn't count. That doesn't count. There was belt. I mean, it was a true belt. It wasn't puking fart. It was, it was puke, stop puking, belch, and fart. No, thanks. I got it.

Thank you. And then continue puking. Okay. Not interested in the details, but thank you. I am. I'd like to hear it again. I don't need to hear it again. Remember where you were?

No, I don't want to hear it again. That was the bathroom. Thank you. No, but I mean, how long ago was this? Oh, God. I had to take my headphones off. No, we were just talking about when it happened. I don't want to, I don't want to know.

I don't like the details of pukes. Okay. All right. They didn't know that we were boundary. That's the only one. That's the only one I got. That's the tickle. That's the one that tickles the back of your throat with the finger.

Oh, okay. Okay. All right. Thanks, Josh. A couple of dad boners real quick. This guy. Wham! All right.

Make the loop and all that stuff. This guy's driving two golf carts. That's one man driving two golf carts. Listen to how excited this guy is. Yeah. Got it. I mean. That is one man driving two golf carts.

This is better than Lip & Zanner stallions. That's a pretty good reference, I got to say. Yeah, is it? Lip & Zanner stallions is pretty good. I don't know it. They have Spanish show horses that can like trot backwards and they do these very unison shows. Oh, yeah, yeah.

Okay. You know a lot of stuff. He does. He has a crazy amount of references. How do you know all this stuff? I just, you know, Mystery Science Theater makes references important to you. Right. That's true.

You have a deep well when it comes. It's a deep shallow well. I'm a good Jeopardy player. Yeah, are you? Yeah. I'd like to get you on that show. I was a question once, so I don't know if I can be. You were a question once.

I was, yes. It was Mystery Science related? It was three credits in it. It was, I can quote it for you because it was my Jeopardy question. Sure. Of course. Before writing for AFV and Freaks and Geeks, J. Elvis Weinstein was the original voice of Tom Servo on this cult classic.

Oh, wow. A thousand dollar question. Did they get it right? They did, yes. Wow. And more importantly, my brother went home from work early that day in Minneapolis and he saw it and called me. Oh, it's like not planned, though.

Not planned. It was just like he happened to go home early. And that's how you found out you were a question? I found out that it might happen. What happened was is I met this Jeopardy writer when I was picketing for Writer's Guild strike. And he was a fan of Mystery Science Theater and stuff, so he was the one who wrote the question. Oh.

But I found out like a month earlier, someone had called from Jeopardy, called my manager to get the, if it was Weinstein or Weinstein pronunciation. Interesting. Is that, by the way, is that, I mean, is it kind of, is that like a personal preference for anybody with that last name? Just like how they choose. You know, like East Coast guys are all, or East Coast Weinsteins are always, always Weinsteins Midwestern.

So that might have changed the game a little bit. Wait a minute. It's a German last name. Yeah. Weinstein. Well, no. But Einstein is Einstein. No, hold on.

But how do you say that? But how do you spell Weinstein? W-E-I-N, F-T-E-I-N. S-T-E-I. So when German it is, if they, yes, then it's I. If it's E before I in German, then it's Ein. Yeah. If it's I-E, then it's Ein.

Right. It's the only thing I learned in German. It's the same in both halves of my name. The closest I got to, I never got to a Jeopardy question, but the, like my version of that was I got a call once. They had called my manager, who then called me and said, they filmed an episode of the first 48 in Kansas City. And they, at the end of the episode, like filming that week, you know, they were tracking

a guy. They got him. The detectives sat at their computer and watched my bit on the first 48. Do I mind if they use that first 48? Are you out of your fucking mind? That's the coolest thing ever. That's the best thing ever. And then I was like, of course, of course, of course.

And then they, uh, they, you know, whatever, time pass. And I was like, so what's up with that episode? And then the production team, uh, got back to us. They said, we thought it was a little too on the nose to have us watching, like even though it really happened, it wasn't a planned thing. They just, but it kind of does break the reality, even though it's reality. Right. So I was like, ah, man, it's hard.

So I would have been on the fucking first, I would have been on, but they were so cool. They sent us a bunch of swag. They did. They gave, we had the first 48 t-shirts I still have. Hat, mugs, everything. Yeah. So cool. Yeah.

The detectives shallacy. So anyways, back to the dad boner. Holy shit. Look at that. I'm not happy this guy. I don't know. Just a guy driving too far. The other guy's fucking losing his mind.

No. No. Oh, that was pretty cool. He did the tree split. That was pretty cool though. I worked on America's funniest home videos for several years, and we would have used that. That was fantastic though.

Yeah. We would have used that. Yeah. Was that like? It was kind of painful. Yeah. Yeah. Because some of the videos are genuinely pretty funny, but then the joke, sometimes

it came out of Sagitt's mouth. You were like, oh. Yeah. Well, I was brought on to desagotize the show. Oh. They literally, they, I got, my manager got me this meeting and I went in and it was like way too much fucking attitude. Well, apparently not.

But I was, you know, I was playing the mystery science theater card and I was basically like, you know, I like the videos, but all my friends who watch this show watch it mute it because they can't handle Sagitt and his falsetto narration, you know, falsetto animal voices. But was he, he was saying jokes he wanted to say? He was saying jokes he wanted to say and pretending like they were making him say them. But like he literally, the script literally went from his laptop to the teleprompter. Oh. Yeah.

He was essentially the head writer of the show. Which is weird that like he chose that route because he's like this dirty. Right. He spent the next, you know, many years making millions of dollars trying to disclaim what he, you know, trying to retain his hipness. Yeah. And then I, when I first, I was the head writer when it was John Fugos saying was the, was a good guy.

John Fugos saying and Daisy Fuentes were the, the team. Oh yeah. Man. Those were my shows. Daisy also MTV. She was like one of those. Yeah. MTV VJs.

Real ugly pig. Right, Tom? I never masturbated. Ever. Ever, ever, every night for years. She was yucky. Huh? She's like kind of like one of the, I would say like premier Latina people of that era.

Right. Like she was like the face. She was, she was cleaning up in the Latin world. Yeah. Yeah. For sure. And like, and she was dead. She was like living with Louise Miguel at the time and also like a white America was

like, you know what? I don't mind these Latins. So true. Daisy Fuentes. Daisy Fuentes. How do you say? She was actually super cool. Three tacos or what's your favorite?

Yeah. You play here in tacos. That is awesome. Oh boy. Maybe that dad was drunk. He was really excited. It says here's a young dad boner beach machinery. He's all excited about it.

Yes. Let's go. Bulldozer in action towing. I still don't even know what the hell this thing is. He's going to the ocean. It's so exciting. Crazy. What the fuck is that piece of machinery out there on the beach?

That's so like. He's rolling. Oh, yeah. Rolling. Oh, he's going right into the ocean. Let's go. Fuck y'all. Fuck it up in the Atlantic, y'all.

That is just so. Don't know what you're doing, but I'm loving it. This kid's way too excited. That's just slightly better than Bob Saget. Yeah. Falsetto narration. Hey, I'm an oil dealer. Hey, I'm going off to sea.

Hey, watch me. Yeah. That was kind of what they would do. That's kind of what it was. Yeah. And they didn't, they didn't let me change the show cosmetically, but they let me actually do comedy with the video. And so he would have to read your jokes.

A few go singing Daisy would have to. Oh, I'm sorry. Yeah. Wow. So yeah, cause he had already left at that point. Yeah. Man. That was painful, that voice.

And I was. I actually did a segment on the show called falsetto animal theater where I would mock it when I would just do a bumper and I go, Hey, I'm a girl. Look at me. Hey, I'm on an antenna. Oh my God. But he loved doing that thing. I met, I saw him once shortly after that and he iced me pretty hard.

He did. He knew you? Yeah. Cause we had a common friend there. You're like, you're not right for that show now. I love it. All right. Um, we got to go, but I wanted to remind people again, the documentary is called I need you

to kill. Yes. You'll see why that, that is very important that phrase in this documentary. You can go to iTunes, Amazon. You can go to Google play. You can go to pay per view on a number of the pay per view providers. Yes. And, uh, you can rent the movie.

You can buy the movie. You can download the movie. Just fucking watch the movie. Please watch the movie. I'm in it. Chad Daniels, Pete Lee. So funny. It's a good, it's a great threesome.

You guys are funny. It's, it was, it really is a funny fucking doc. Thank you. You did a great job. Josh Weinstein. Thank you very much for coming today. Um, thank you guys for listening. Also, can I throw in, uh, my podcast, Thought Spiral with Andy Kindler?

Oh my God. Yes. If you don't know Andy Kindler, I mean, I don't know, how would you describe Andy Kindler to someone that doesn't know him? Um, crazy, Jew funny, I think you can't even really go for a full sentence. Yeah. But super funny. Love when he gets fired up about anything.

He's easily fired up. Yep. Um, he's much nicer than he is on Twitter. If you're a comedy nerd, uh, you definitely know him from the, the state of the union every year he does at just for laughs. Yes. He does the state of the industry address every year and he was on everybody at Los Raymond and he was on Letterman 40 times and super funny.

Yeah. Yeah. It's both a correspondent and a standup. Wow. Really crazy, funny guy. Supressive. Weekly podcast every Monday, Thought Spiral, it's called Thought Spiral. Check it out.

Uh, thanks again for coming, buddy. Thanks. Thanks for having me. It was really fun. Uh, we'll go out on this song by Bruce. You know the name. It's Machines Within. T 16 T hasn't hang 100% or 16 machine with him trying to rate my rap trying to rate

my rap trying to practice on my flow machine. Well, I'm on the street with all the haters, if all the haters machines within rap and I'm a song I rap and I'm a song I'm rapping, rapping, rapping on my mother effing song. Walking down the street, rap the hatchet, here we go, machines within, machines within. Happy Halloween Terminator Matrix, Happy Halloween Terminator Matrix, Happy Halloween Terminator Matrix, Destruction On Man, Machines Within, where are my pants, where are my pants, where are the fuck are my pants.