Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - 445-Wheeler Walker Jr- Your Mom's House with Christina P and Tom Segura

Episode Date: April 25, 2018

If you don't know how to eat butt, we have all your bases covered. Basically, we want Tina to finally do this like an adult. We'll see what happens. Plus we have the most intense prank call ever and it involves Tommy and Bert and Joey and Joe and well, dudes doing stuff exclusively with dudes.  And Wheeler Walker Jr joins us and gives his thoughts on SCATTING and a whole lot more.  Please support our sponsors:  Go to Daily-Harvest.com and enter promo code MOM to get three items FREE in your first box! Stamps.com promo code MOM Brooklinen.com SaatvaMattress.com 

of course it is thanks to more hose for sending in the song that's his name yeah this is wrap it's good oh you got a presale you got a presale you know I'm saying I got presale for San Diego California November 24th I'm going to be doing the House of Blues presale tickets go on sale this Wednesday as this episode drops 10 a.m. Pacific Standard Time use the promo code mom m-o-m to get your first grab tickets this show will sell out and you know April 29th the Cubs is sold out as well I will not be adding a show so you didn't get your tickets next time guys Huntington Beach May 4th sold out we added a show

May 5th at Huntington Beach the rec room you can get those tickets Christina P online May 9th at Oxnard Ox Cox hard Levity live there's still some tickets there you better get them and then December 8th Jewdork titties Gramercy theater there's some tickets left on that one to Christina P online thank you Jean I'm too blessed to be stressed thank you everybody for buying all these tickets to see me and and me I appreciate it well I mean it was my turn to talk that's why oh sorry I got an email yesterday and by the time this airs might be too late there's 80 tickets left for the Tabernacle okay this Thursday

April 26th it's my second show there and I really want to say thank you to you guys let's see everything I've added between now and let's they said there was a few tickets left for Thursday in Brea that's in August and Breastballs Beach Florida that's also late August that has tickets I added let's see the third show in New Orleans has about 100 tickets where New Orleans and there's also some tickets for Jacksonville Jack Meowthville Orlando at the hard cock live that's in November and a few tickets left for that show I put up at the Merriam theater in Philadelphia fill her up Delphia that is November 17th people

have been asking me like when are you gonna come to this city in that city they're all going to be announced a little bit later a good way to get the heads up is if you go to Tom's a great outcome you click on the tour page there's now a pop-up to join an email list okay I've set it up where when I announce the future dates we'll do it via email first so you'll have advanced notice and be able to get tickets ahead of the general public if you want to do that so yeah thank you for that that's appreciate everybody getting those tickets let's let's get into the show Jean it's the it's recording like you don't whisper

you can just say it we're recording okay sure and here we are hi mommy hi mommy hi mommy hi mommy hi mommy so disturbing I'm gonna put that on dr. Drew's list he would definitely have a lot of empathy for that guy cuz he was homeless that guy yeah he's the homeless voice great voice guy yeah it's funny like I was just gonna go what happened to him and then like I know that's something right well I mean he probably got a big break a bunch of money and then he blew it on drugs and now he's homeless again yeah it's kind of predictable you kind of pick up on these patterns pretty sad it's pretty sad it is it is it's

pretty sad I mean sure it's hilarious is it funny or sad that should be the theme of all our clips is it is it funny or sad I think it kind of is yeah I can ask me how my pee went yeah I'm sure people are dying to know those good thanks for asking great seven months pregnant so I go a lot yeah you didn't think well I was going to add more toilet paper to the bedroom I knew you were gonna bring this up I knew you're gonna bring this up how dare you first of all I I keep that thing stocked all the time I bring up about I bring up an entire fucking case of toilet paper yeah you know what I mean I got back from dropping

our kid off and there's none there yeah well did you use the tissue there's a backup tissue box that I put there for a reason it's a backup system why not stock it with the TP though oh my god because we just ran out like this morning at 4 a.m. I took my last wipe and then I woke up at 645 with a kid it wasn't the first thing on my list Tom well wasn't my my the keeper of the 12 I was gone you're the keeper of the house yeah but I can't I can't keep up everything I got other stuff I got dogs diarrhea in the middle of the night fucking dog I got seven months I'm so much pregnant I got a toddler and my

friend visiting it's a lot all right so you want I should tell the story I want to fucking murder her yeah Christina proposed that you kill our dog Betsy we don't kill it all we need to do is let her loosen the hills around here and there's a lot of coyotes and if something were to happen I'm the psycho I'm the psycho I'm sitting here like no babe we can figure it out you're like no I can't do it I can't do it anymore I'll tell you here's why the baby keeps me up a lot of nights too like they cry I'm I'm tired already yeah you've been gone a lot this month it's been hard at least once a month this goddamn dog gets

diarrhea and then now I'm up at night taking her out two or three times I don't know what been the vet she's eat special food to balance this problem out she gets diarrhea about once a month once a month and I don't know more than other dogs I've been of course get diarrhea but it's usually not that frequently it's not this consistent not dogs that I've been no in a home with thief might get it once every year yeah and they eat the same stuff that falls on the floor and here's the thing yesterday is when she must have gotten it but I kept her away from all the droppings from the food the table she there's no like I don't

even know what she she can't get into trash because there's no there's no supply around her I know I don't even know what she's doing she finds her way into things though that you don't even think about I'm sure there's no access she's no access to these things I'm beginning to think it's something inside of her that's wrong I don't think it's a diet I mean killin it will definitely do away with the problem like you're saying or letting her into the hills little 14-pound Brussels Grafane just for a night if she survives she's your dog then she's back yeah she's back in the fold oh my no she wouldn't live

an hour outside of this house even yeah I know I know fucking eagle would get her don't you so fast it's a squirrel right snatcher right up I'm at a loss I really don't know I don't know what is wrong it's like I can't I can't be up at night with two babies now and the fucking dog that's the thing yeah I'm going crazy some of you are probably watching or noticing my Mickey Mouse shirt nobody's no shit is real and then I do it cuz my son has taken to loving Mickey Mouse and it's a way to bait him into affection so I bought a bunch of Mickey Mouse shirts you really didn't this way I when I walk around the corner

for the first time in the day he's like Mickey and I go yeah yeah of course of course he gets all excited and it's work so far it's where he's like and then every once in a while he'll re-notice and be like Mickey on your shirt and I'm like yeah dude that's how I roll he loves it then I don't wear it and he's like fucks up with your shirt yeah because he's strictly Mickey right now yeah pretty cool so he sleeps well nothing like segueing from that into our opening clip here you go miss Tom Lakers okay perfect there it is did you like the clip

that was it that was it glad you liked it all right let's try that again try it out try it out try it out here we go I'm Dr. Lindsey Doe clinical sexologist and host of this sex curious show Sexplanations today I'm going to answer a very popular question how do I eat ass for you some of the hesitant ladies that listen to the show a lot of us veteran guys could give this speech ourselves if we wanted to or it might be better for you to hear it from one of your kind you know hopefully you'll take notes yeah you do have a pen and paper good hopefully you'll be eating ass also known

as tossing the salad rimming cleaning the kitchen playing the rusty trombone analangous and Kulosex is actually pretty simple step one ask your partner if you can any interested me licking your asshole the next time I go down on you how would you feel if I made out with your butt while you masturbate wow she's cool I like her you know what's interesting to me is people that call themselves sex experts now these are even really necessary I mean given the internet you can just Google I just like this clip so I want you to ask me exactly the way she said this sure sure go ahead I go down on you how would you

feel if I made out with your butt while you masturbate how would you hold on how would you feel if I made out with your butt while you masturbate cool let's do it right now like that that'd be my answer how would you feel if I made out with your butt while you masturbate I feel great about it did you ever think that I would put those words together in a sentence never ever I never 41 years never to say that before she's a super cool chick so she doesn't look like the type to eat ass doesn't which is might be as she she kind of comes under the radar like you meet her for a drink and you're like yeah maybe she'll kiss and

then she's like we need to make out with your butt while you direct off how would you feel if I made out whoa yeah step two once you have consent it's time to get ready avoid giving anything bad to their asshole and getting anything bad from their asshole here are the infections that can go from mouth to anus and anus to mouth herpes gonorrhea and chlamydia HIV syphilis hepatitis A and hepatitis B lastly gastrointestinal problems and parasites like whole life basically the things that cause food poisoning might be hanging out and you don't want to put those in your body duh so here's a good heads up I wish I could I wish I had

like these things right here make me think don't necessarily just eat a stranger's ass yeah I mean without this I would have been like you should but now I feel like you should yeah you should you should meet people right away but now I'm like I didn't know you could get all these things you think you should discriminate a little a little bit a little bit but not that much were you the kind that would just toss salad willy-nilly with girls um no I'm not just handed out for sure but I mean I don't know if she you know she looked like she didn't have those and then yeah if she looked like she doesn't have

those yeah well here's the thing I mean I wouldn't ask for a blood panel I would see this nasty girl she nasty as hell but she's not nasty but she looks like a nice girl so this girl you'd be like she's she doesn't even do all this stuff but she does and she doesn't want to know I mean I can just I don't have any STDs I wonder yeah I wonder how if I know it's it was quite common to have a lot of these things yeah do like do you just like a do you volunteer it like when you feel like it's about to go down I think you have to I think it does that that's got to be like I feel like that'd be an immediate doesn't that just kill

you know because I mean I know people that have these things and relationships and I think I think it's more the relationship talk well that's what I'm saying that's different though what about when you just meet someone you're like wait but I've got hepatitis a b syphilis hiv and gastrointestinal I got all these things well I think there are people out there that are like that's the that's the risk I have a friend who told me what I remember this because I remember how upset he got he hooked up with somebody that we knew and then after they were done she was like I gotta tell you

something and he was like what I have he's like what oh my god I have that thing that everyone has and he goes what do you what do you have herpes oh no what do you mean everyone has well a lot of people have it and he's like why didn't you say it before we did it before we did it but he didn't he got he didn't get it but see yeah some people say that's just the calculated risk you take for being with that person you just wear condom and that's the risk not a big deal I don't think in a relationship I'm talking about one night stand was what I'm saying so yeah the one I stand it's a calculated risk it is a

tells you how this maybe I'm not broken out right now yeah there's no out yeah but at least saying it is a big thing have to disclose I think it's your moral duty I bet a lot of people don't that's how things get that's what and see that's why I wasn't promiscuous in the 90s before I met you I swear that's the only reason I wasn't a hoe I mean not the only but I'm so afraid of getting all this stuff man and now like now we're two virgins together you sure got a hose fucking uniform all right let's go that next one step three set of time I'm sure you don't want to go down on someone and find a dingleberry of poop

and pubes if you're the one with the asshole watch your bowel movements healthy ones look like this unhealthy ones look like this shower and wash your whole butt with soap especially the anus and all those little crevices that make it look like a star stay outside though don't go inside oh again she's with the she had to tell you to stay outside just like that guy's like you want to finger us yeah don't put your finger in your asshole setting a time to feel like a little bit of a mood killer what are you talking about I mean she's like set a time like fake like I want to eat your ass cool do it at seven no I think that's

really cool because I feel like you've demanded things like I don't want to put my mouth on stuff and I'm like hey bro I just came from a hike my crotch smells like a zoo do you think you could not put your mouth on my parts right now can we make an appointment and then you can do this when I'm clean no because I remember the last pig that I did that to you know I just met her at a bar and you know we had more drinks and then that's probably a big contributor was drinking yeah no I think about it yeah because you don't you lose your sense of taste and stuff and judgment your brain is like yeah go for it go just go for it go

for it doesn't matter on my brain done it's funny cuz I my brain didn't when I was in college and stuff I never sucked a guy's stuff just willy-nilly I've never do you know that I've never put my mouth on just a rogue peener I've never not once not like a stranger's dick one of us is not very adventurous step four acquire some dams for a layer of protection they were the risk of all the bugs I mentioned earlier and cover up the smell and taste of asshole there but isn't that the biggest deterrent of them all the smell and the taste of the asshole the you mean it's the biggest fucking seducer for real yeah of course

what do you mean if you don't have the taste what are you doing you want it to be tangy a little tang you don't necessarily want super tangy but you just want to go why can't you just have like a clean ass yeah but it's not possible for you cuz I know where this is going this is all for you but you don't have a clean ass there's no way you can because of the amount of hair and sweat I go clean it right now it's not possible trim it too and then you can just do what you say it's not possible with you you're so hairy hairy and gross hmm step five with all preparation in place play play with all

sorts of body parts kiss massage whatever it takes to get all riled up before before step six when you lightly blow on the asshole the blowing will not only light up this sensitive spot it will waft the smell toward you so you can evaluate whether or not you want to proceed oh that's a good that's actually a good tactic you see that I would to I blocked it out what did she say she's saying blow towards it and then wait as you blow towards it your air will hit the asshole some of that air will come back and if there's a scent to it I mean I just generally I engage in practices where there's like no I don't have to do

that what do you mean lemon airy how would you know how would you know then no I'm just saying that I don't I just stay away from activities that I have to do this much preparation for any activity that does this it sounds like it's a lot like I have to find out if this person has STDs I've defined after that to clean their asses I think the worst was the dental dam and she's like hey like imagine you're like I'm gonna eat that ass and they're like hold on me get this dental dam out why I know just seems like that's how I would prefer to do it on somebody all right why don't we start with that I'll get a dental dam

and then can I wait until I'm not pregnant I don't want to do I'll throw up I mean it's kind of the thrill for me that's a whole genre of porn right sure it is pregnant lady eating some guys I'm sure yeah I'll look it up later to confirm so nasty wrong with people man yeah but she's right about that that's a good tactic okay blow a little air towards it and then it seems so labor intensive for step seven add lube and put a dam in place add enough lube to keep things soft but not so much that the anus thinks it's leaking again it's a lot of thinking yeah it's too much yeah well I just do two normal things step

eight don't literally eat ass unless your partner is into a poking feeling out of nowhere I recommend working your way to the anus from the buttocks from the genitals to the perineum inner thighs and up kissing and touching with your hands licking if you like spreading the cheeks and going straight in for asshole can feel quite jarring sounds like you were experienced yeah I just I did feel it's from her too I was like oh she really knows what she's a sex bird she knows once you're at the site think licking gentle sucking kissing and tickling even making contact and not moving at all can be incredibly

arousing the anus is densely packed with nerve endings it's part of a concentrated area of erogenous tissue and it's slightly taboo so there's a thrilling adventure and doing something pleasurable that society tells us not to how many people you think that are watching her really need to watch her in other words do you need the full lesson of how to do this I guess a lot right so I mean somebody who feels like they're really benefiting from it yeah I got clearly but like I said like do we need another sex bird in the world if like you could just Google this shit how do I eat out yeah she's one of the

people that comes up no but it's it's been covered you know I don't know I've never heard it discuss this way so this to me feels pretty intuitive I mean except for the blowing thing that's a good tip yeah but wash your ass wash your ass is if you don't know to do that yeah don't eat don't literally eat someone's ass it's kind of intuitive no shit yeah you're gonna chew someone's beehull yeah I don't know it's not my thing Tom it's just not my thing it's never gonna be my thing we're gonna get you into it step nine check in nice and ask your partner questions more wetter deeper you could ask them questions like how

is it but getting yes or no answer means you're not caught up in conversation when they likely want your mouth getting back to business okay I'm getting a little nauseous what what from just looking butts but holes I can't even there's only one last clip let's see how many fucking steps this woman has this is step 12 oh my god enjoy yourself in a lingus is hopefully pleasurable for everyone involved if you're not into it consider 69 so you're getting oral sex to or any new position for that matter you know what she should have talked about the the squatting sit where like you lay on your back and then a guy

steps over your face squats down puts his mouth to put his ass directly in your mouth and then I can't think of anything more overwhelming can you even imagine that it's a beautiful thing I remember my parents telling me about it the first time can you I can only imagine because I have like I have you know just like squeeze your butt cheeks and stuff mm-hmm and I have felt the heat that comes out of that region with you like I can just imagine like the heat of that and the hair oh it's nice and how do you not I can tell and that you have to hold the squat for a while yeah yeah you gotta hold it for a while

why don't we do the hammock trick that that guy did in Venezuela oh yeah the McAfee the yeah yeah you cut a hole out of the hammock and then you can kind of squat on that and then that's just to make brown though he wanted girls to brown in his mouth no but you can also do for butt licking I guess there's a tip she's like to watch it come out of that he's really gross whole other level speaking of browning a lot of people a lot of people weighing in on the poop pile because it's done your time is over man defecation and yeah because the you been found out you know some people said oh you there was a would you rather

where you said you didn't want to poop outside and yeah yeah cuz I'm thinking of of it as open defecation here we go on the side of the street like well like that's what we were talking about in India as people just shitting on the side of the road okay that to me is different than the poop pile which was just like a almost like a spiritual event was a spirit yeah you know what I think is the most yonah compelling evidence against your poop you a legit poop pile is the way that you describe the setup now I would like one of our listeners to go back into the vaults and maybe dig up the audio the first time you

described exactly how the poop pile went because I'm pretty sure you've described it differently yep it wasn't this time you said there was a steps hammer to a tree yeah it's true the first time you just said you said it was a ladder what's a makeshift ladder oh so is it a tree with steps cut put into it yeah or a makeshift well I'm calling that a makeshift ladder the steps nailed into the tree that's a nope that to me is a tree ladder that that's a specific thing okay a tree that we put steps on well yeah that's what it is the in essence it's a tree that you guys should out of but there was no mention of a

tree up until this last time always a tree that's what we had the tree what do you mean there's no mention of a tree but I don't I don't yonah I don't recall any mention of a tree well you know luckily for you for me for all of our listeners I was able to spend time this weekend with somebody I live with during the poop pile another line and I brought it to his attention yeah you mentioned to me like bring it to his attention so I did he's just gonna lie to know what's the point alright case there's been a lot of controversy lately about whether the poop pile is real and as somebody who lived with me in that

time can you comment on to as to whether it was real or not poop I was definitely real I mean it was something that everybody took part in it wasn't just me and Tom and just our roommate but it was like a neighborhood thing kids would come over no parents would like get excited and tell their kids they come right over but we had I mean we had the ladder and kind of in the back where the tree was you climb up everybody would take a dump pile up I mean poop how yeah I mean now what about the accusation that it as guys of that age in college there's no way we would do that because it would deter you know girls from coming

over because we're trying to get late no definitely not it never happened I mean that was that was what that was our thing is what we're known for I mean never yeah I didn't stop you like just weeks like this is that's the poop house yeah let's go get laid yeah and sometimes even they were definitely happened yeah they definitely some ladies put off the poop out yeah later it's not as gross or crazy as it sounds and to me it was normal I mean everybody did it so this is what we did so I never felt out of I never questioned anything so yeah and how often did you would you say you participate because I mean sometimes it

would happen I remember I wasn't there you can't force a shit right so I mean when they call the poop pile call and they just the pill part the poop pile was thrown whatever okay if you want to take a shit you don't go to stand up there until you mean you just you don't anticipate that time but there was so many poop house I mean yeah it's like everybody got a turn that was for sure like everybody got a shot yeah and yeah I'm trying to think I mean logistically I was trying to explain you know the kind of the makeshift ladder in the tree you climb out yeah we had like the like we had like an actual toilet seat yeah into

the tree right and so it felt totally normal I mean you sat down toilet you had the bar to hold on to yeah poop I mean there's this people don't realize that like for the for kids it was a really a fun like a come on dude I mean what kid doesn't love to just drop a poop right yeah it's like I was like a roller coaster you have it to you have it almost to your own ever three-year-old what happens when you say the word fart yeah they laugh or poo like cool laugh so they loved it they loved it yeah kids loved it the other neighborhood like men definitely loved it and I almost feel like yeah I think women were intrigued

by it yeah sure it was a pretty cool for sure thanks for verifying this stuff poop pile dude can you do can you remember the call like when what did it sound like when we left where by no I feel like it was I for some reason I feel like Justin called out the most like cuz he had he would really have a he had a good like yelling voice here's a yellow and he would be like oh I'm gonna just scream like yeah like that people would dart dart over it's like the ice cream truck came through exactly and they just were like I got to do this too yeah very cool there's another fart yeah Yana allow me to present

Casey's testimony mm-hmm if I may quote him verbatim now you presented the poop pile last week's drawing such that there were steps nailed on the tree yeah so it's you as you put it a make-shift ladder now mr. Casey in his testimony right now said we had the ladder kind of back where the tree was now those two separate items I rest my case he's saying there's a separate ladder kind of not saying there's a separate quote and I quote we had the ladder kind of back where the tree was so now in Casey's reminiscence recollection if you will about the poop out there was a ladder kind of back

where the tree was now in your drawing last week yeah blue bad can bring it up as I'm saying this you had individual steps like a tree house nailed up yeah now which was it liar no no here's the thing no no no those are two separate ways no because you could lay a ladder against the tree as well you could but you didn't no I always use the steps that were nailed to the tree but if you wanted to join somebody up there maybe somebody was climbing it you put the ladder against the tree he didn't mention that now Casey's testimony did not say that sometimes there was two of us up there first well there's no mention

never of two people doing oh sometimes there was how is that possible because you would all hang off of that branch and wait for one hang off of that branch that you said there was only one bar right that you could hold on to you're telling me that two grown men are gonna share a little bar and hang their asses off one branch no you're misunderstanding somebody is sitting on somebody's sitting to shit another person's facing them like watching them okay they switch seats when one's done so one person's holding in their shit and coaching the other this isn't first of all this is the first time you've

ever mentioned this scenario happens all the time last 14 years all the time all the time yeah I'm just saying that right now Casey's testimony of what it even physically looked like doesn't sound what you like what you drew you I mean I'm gonna get video of it at some point I'm sure video of what of people pooping off of it so you can you think a poop I'll still exist for sure it was legendary where is it where where it's in North Carolina it's in North Carolina that's where I lived where else would you you you think that the person who now lives in this place maintained this ridiculous thing I'm sure when they heard

stories about it they wanted to see what was up yeah I'd like to interview these alleged children that ran to the number okay why don't they come forward I'm sure somebody knows somebody the magic of the Internet sure you found the bikes kid through the magic of the Internet somebody wanted me to bring up your moose is this your believable lies in this house somebody submits their I'm gonna get a metal metal detector lie detector really yeah we're gonna get to the bottom of this I'm over it it's supposed to be an impression of the moose soup lady okay you remember her oh yeah come down later for moose soup

okay oh dirty son of a let's see if this guy has a good impression fuck is that Charlie oh dirty bitch come down later for moose soup you boys come down later from we got moose soup and everything it's pretty good yeah except that the audio doesn't line up with the video yes I was confused if he was playing the real but I thought he was playing the real I know that was really why doesn't it line up no is that what indicated it's not real fuck fuck they're lined up there is that Charlie that's pretty if it is him that was really good yeah it's weird that was great good job Austin before I forget I forgot to put it on

our show last week what only online I posted it and it's still blew up what the fucking new try it out try it out shirt oh it's right yeah so I didn't realize it because the guy was like he messes me he's like oh people are loving the try it out shirt and I go I only posted it online we didn't there it is try it out it's such a good shirt it's so silly your mom's house podcast try it out in the middle we also made women's shirt so try it out try it out women's and what's good about the try it out shirt is that it's kind of the inside Joe yeah it's work-friendly it's kid-friendly yeah you wear it anywhere

nobody's gonna be offended or you know creeped out just try it out it's very life-affirming very positive yeah and it's also heavy not listen to this podcast yeah try it out the shot you know it's interesting Tom is that the try it out guy has made his rounds into our heart over and over and over again and before you left for this last trip to Atlanta yeah we kind of rediscovered him as a couple yeah it's true it's like some clips that over time they kind of unfold and give us more and more meaning well I you're right and I also realized that there was parts of what he was saying that I was glassing over

glass it over like I really need to pull here's the deal man it's so funny that he says that I never taught you and from jail homeless you know a thug want to come move in a friend can move to you man free rent to get a lease and a key fuck me piss on you beat me a whole man out you see me when I come over today and try it out try it out man well I didn't that doesn't have here's the deal but some I build and try it out I'm gonna fuck a piss on me try it out here's the fight only this fuck man I'm looking for hardcore guys and meaning want to do it I want to deliver it I'm a hot fuck like trash come dump let's fuck

come dump wait I'm a hot white trash so these two fired up he's really fired up that's why but where's here's the deal man black guys who love the fuck fuck good if you're a hot black guy you want to fuck me at 2395 if you want to move in you can move in but you got to fuck me I need to be fucked a lot we got it we get it free food free rent and everything else man here's a deal man there I love here's the deal man because it's like it's setting up what you really need you know here's a deal man well it's gonna be and it's like he's really been ruminating on this and you know when you're like you you lay in

bed at night and you sometimes think of a conversation you're gonna have with somebody next day yeah and you're kind of lining up your arguments like that's what he's been doing yeah sitting on this for a minute I think we should do a quick pause our friend Wheeler Walker juniors oh okay why don't we take a quick pause and go see what's right out try it out with them and we are back we of course you don't know we pop I like how I act like the time has passed to them but we are rejoined by our friend of the show has been here before mr. Wheeler Walker junior thanks guys thanks for having me Christina so excited to have

you a dad mouth that's correct champion good to see you guys hey what did you say water champion he's a water champion of course I saw on the news what news it's it's been on the news before yeah have you heard of the poop pile you're from the south the poop pile no I don't know I mean I know what poo is I know piles are done you've heard of grown men building like a tree house ladder and then hanging off of it and pooing in the same pile together what do you think of that sounds like a good weekend I guess where I did it North Carolina oh yeah I mean I mean I'd never heard of it but I'm like if you said let's do it now I'd

put the microphone down we get we do it and if I told you existed in the Carolina's you probably like that sounds believable if you if you guessed me which state I probably would have said yeah do you play Carolina you must right yeah we've done a few times I'm going back there soon I told you before we started recording I'm we're I'm torn with kid rock in the fall I think we're doing somewhere North Carolina I forget they told me the dates and then that's gonna be a fun tour man yeah it's crazy you know what's what's cool about it for me which is a new thing for me is there it's a country artist which is probably

different I don't know what it's like for you for comedians but it's we do it's weekends only yeah it's all being national all right you know so we get on the bus Thursday night or Friday whatever so yeah it's just like a live in a normal life and then you get to go tour in the weekends it'll be fun yeah that's gonna be awesome man yeah what you do you guys do pretty much pretty much yeah it's a weekend yeah weekend gig yeah which uh fuck that's that's what makes it tolerable yeah well yours be like week after week after week or would be like break yeah there I think we're it's it'll be total of three months three months

yeah wow it's a long tour but it's uh it's gonna be fun man cuz I mean that's why I give um I'm giving him some credit cuz you know when I you know I was in you know making the first record I'm playing you know fuck you bitch sit on my face to me these sound like arena songs but yeah then the reality of the world kind of kicked in I'm like you know start playing clubs like you know maybe arenas aren't gonna happen and then they got the call like you can't you know you know how much they're gonna leave that and also the coolest thing will be people there's gonna be people for sure at the show who are like oh

like who's his opening act who's that yeah and then totally there's gonna be people get there early just who want to get you know situated with their fucking hot dog and their parents and their parents and they're gonna hear me saying like what the fuck is is going on and like when they hear the pussy king I don't know I think you're gonna you're gonna win a lot of new fans on this thing yeah that's that's a good thing about music I either win the fans over or I when you if I don't win them over I certainly make an impression you know yeah they'll know they'll know your name yeah yeah they'll they'll or they'll it's

like the old hat you know I think that was a Howard Stern thing which is you know the people like you you know tell one person people don't like you tell like 50 people yeah I'd be going nuts if I was at a show and I didn't know who you were and I heard these songs I would be the guy who's like I got to be buying your album in the fucking in the audience that right then and there wheeler do you have any songs about eating ass can we just we're talking no okay I'm gonna be making my third record soon but I gotta get into that right yeah I mean we were just talking about this and one of the things we talked about that we saw

a sexpert give advice on like bringing it up and preparing for it and she she suggested like a dental dam and I was like that kind of is a I don't know I think it's kind of a mood killer yeah I mean it seems like you're not really doing it you know well I don't know I didn't like her approach to the ask it was like how did it go again do you mind if I make out with your butt while you masturbate that was one of her ways of bringing it up explain to me what a dental dam is isn't it just a piece of plastic that you put over a vagina or an a-hole and then you your tongue is actually licks plastic yeah

rubber yeah that I don't know the definition of eating ass but I can't count just crushing box on the road you're a musician you have all these songs that are sexual in nature is it everything you dreamed of well I I got a girlfriend so oh it's not it and I'm I'll be honest I thought that was kind of a thing in the industry that you're not supposed to say you're with a woman because I think John Lennon wasn't supposed to see at a wife right you know but I ain't the Beatles I'm not you know how I build this girl over a year I mean it's and it's actually real like I was talking about it's nice to you know

yeah to not have to deal with these like fucking road skanks and you're getting backstage and shit like that and ruby right yeah then it's just like you know so so-and-so wants to go backstage tell them to fuck off you know right which I can't imagine music's gotta be different I mean stand up it really you know there are comedians who their their act is basically it's courting get like there it's an attempt to get laid for their whole thing is I mean it's not it's not laid out as in I'm doing this to meet chicks but that's what they're doing you know and then they they do their set and it is an attempt to get laid but it's so

different than music where music is it cannot be in your idea of your mindset of this is why I'm doing this but I think when people see musicians perform you know men and women yeah just it's probably just different audience people screaming and drunk and so sure but I'll bet who are the like you know what's the word I'm looking for poon crushers and now you can't say their names but it's probably can't say it's probably like the dudes that you would never imagine yes I'll tell you I'll tell you what I I heard that a Cosby was well before yeah he had a trick but that but that legit like other than those those

things that women sometimes it's a surprise I know a couple I mean yeah I can't say it on here but when we stop I'll tell you I'll tell you three verified absolute just hounds that yeah that's there a couple people said that to me before you know like man you just did this music just to get laid and I was like in a way I was kind of like it kind of annoyed was like you don't feel the feet you know the you don't feel anything in this music other than just like a guy who needs to get laid you know yeah no I think not that you said that but I'm just saying like it no it annoys me when people say like like

that's a lot of work to get laid the record right I think the thing is that they expect that if you're if you're a musician that it isn't work that's part of the dynamics yes probably yeah does she ever get jealous because you also have a lot of really good-looking women in your videos and you're you know singing about like hot chicks like is she how do you meet her is she into this stuff we just met mutual friend she I mean she actually loves what I do we get along and we haven't any problems with that kind of stuff okay no jealousy or no no no I mean I'll bet if you sat her down and said would you rather him

not call himself the pussy king my guess is she probably say you know yes mr. Walker yeah I prefer that you know yeah or the you know the sit-at-home watch TV King would probably prefer cuz I'm kind of a you know that's what I got I get road beam oh stop right but I always you gotta push it off yeah we always like the women that come up to me when the guys ask for pictures oh my god I have when I do stand up you know I would say 89% maybe more my audience is men but you also obviously see couples majority of the time when I meet a couple after the show a guy I'll be like hi man fucking so great to meet you had a picture and

then I'll be like sure in and then he'll be like babe I should go I'm good and then he'll like insist come on give it she's like no no no I'm fine I'm fine well they're all though my thing is it's a lot there's a lot of couples there in law you know it's like it's the same thing but and then he gets a picture and she's like you know this is this is my birthday gift to him you know yeah I did it as a favor I don't need shit you know yeah you know I get I hear a lot he's been dying to see you when I go thanks yeah and she's like yeah yeah no he was really excited tonight and he really laughed it she tells me like it's a

report like making sure I know that that's why I get that question a lot too like how do I convince my girlfriend or wife or whatever to let me to get her to go to a show with me I'm like I don't know if she's not into it you know she doesn't like it yeah don't just go do something else yeah yeah that's a good point yeah it's it's it's very weird this tour is gonna be I think bananas for you you're gonna pick up so many new fans yeah cheese yeah what kind of venues are you doing you know I think it's I think it's amphitheaters fuck yeah it'll be it'll be big big places got other guy brand Lee Gilbert is really big he's

playing doing those songs that you you have like in those venues it's gonna be and it's a real push gig too because you know we you know we go on so early so I'll be like done I'm used to getting done in fucking midnight I'll be done early and oh yeah it's the best ready to you know get on the bus and like all of them yeah cuz I'm trying to thank you I have your if you're the latest album I have a wheeler on my phone and finger at my butt yeah I really love I'm excited for other you know the Kid Rock fans who don't know who I am to hear finger on my button that kind of shit yeah I mean I guess Summers in Kentucky would be what

too slow to play on something like that right to open yeah cuz we gotta do a shorter set so I just try to just seem pounded and maybe I'll probably do fuck you bitch is my one ballot that's a great song yeah to try to play on here before I think your dog yeah and I think that'll get some hope we get a couple lighters even though we probably like a little lighter outside yeah yeah that's fucking dope it's exciting what's really really good news where we've supported you and we're just so thrilled that you're doing so well in your music what you're really talented songwriter singer great on the

guitar do you ever scat do you ever no one knows a scat nothing a thing oh you know Phil familiar I know what scatting is but it's like is it something you guys are into we've been getting into it yes we're trying to figure out whether it requires skill or if any two-year-old I would go for the two-year-old angle but yeah for me I mean the only time I would ever do that is if I'm working on a song and I didn't have the lyrics ready to record the melody I'd Google you know did that you know like babbling yeah that's more babble than a scat I yeah I mean what training would you need for scat I it's such a racket I don't believe

it I mean other people who pay wait other people who pay you to go see people scat yeah there's like scat performers I think so yeah oops yeah so anyways you know we we mocked somebody that did it on our show and then most people were into them we got a few pushbacks about you know how talented this person was and we we found a woman who won a Grammy for her skin yeah and she was like you know how do you want a Grammy for the category I don't know she's like you know I don't know where I don't play the trumpet I am the trumpet yeah it's like what's his name that don't worry be happy yeah I'll bet he won a Grammy for

some oh you're probably right yeah I mean here's a little taste is a former vocal improvisation using nonsense syllables imitating musical instruments jazz yeah that's you know I don't have to go after my each song I don't go country music is the thing when you play a guitar and you know it's like if you have to explain it to prove that it's actually music it's not yeah I just want what it looks like to me as a guy is like I love music I don't want to don't want to spend the time and get taught learning guitar mandolin piano whatever or bass I'm just gonna stand up against the wall and just start fucking babbling

I can't remember lip remembering lyrics is tough too yeah and I noticed his snaps were kind of off yeah with the with his scouting too so it wasn't very rhythmic a duet scat memory and they match each other's like last note take it somewhere else yeah I mean half their life is probably proven that they're a musician so it's just like it's like I've never I don't know anything I've never heard of a scat show or you know now how long you're pretty damn good guitar player how long did you figure out in like a day and afternoon how long did it take yeah I mean it took me I will say there's because everyone asked

that there's a learning there's like a learning curve definitely it's like the first week you're just like fuck this I don't want to play yeah and then there's just a there's a time maybe a few months in we're just like it starts to feel normal and then not then you get to a point where you just pick you know wow but you started very young yeah oh yeah I was probably you know 11 or 12 what was the first song you wrote do you remember when you were 11 first song I wrote I wrote a song with a buddy of mine back in Kentucky my buddy Tyler who I won't say his last name so I think he's got like a normal job now we wrote a

song called big woman it was really bad but you know big woman you know you're trying to do like I think it was kind of like a big bottoms like smile tap kind yeah like her but her butt was big I think she was all around big she could have been into scat definitely well let's get into a little more scat less things you need to do to learn to scat number one you need to listen to a lot of jazz recordings especially horn players like the trumpet or the saxophone because horn instruments are very similar to voice since because they use breathing number two you need to transcribe you don't have to write the

notes down just try to sing the solo that you like if you can find a track that you like you don't have to really use too much effort you will eventually sing the solos you understand what he's advising right yeah to mimic the right so here like some sax solo and then you yeah I can do that I think he's trying to claim it's like a cover well isn't that yeah isn't that kind of plagiarism I mean you're not coming up with your own song so what's the talent here's an example he's basically just singing along without having to learn the lock down right I think this should be called singing along

but singing along with the sound because that's singing along without having to learn the lyrics they sing along with like this yeah it's just mimic the stuff it is crazy that somebody want a Grammy I want to know this I want to know the scat Grammy sing scat Grammy can you think of a worse thing to have to sit they should put it like I should be the last award in our final award the scat album on the air yeah I mean it really is exactly what you do when you're a little yes you make up songs all the time a tree I love my tree you've got green oh is it practice you know when I'm on stage and I figure my layers number

three practice the nonsense syllables if you use a bad choice here is the most then it will stutter your phrase for instance do do do do do do do do do do or some of the most common the bad versions yeah you can't tell the different singing are but do be do do up deal yeah but we oh my god and number five get a day job get a job at night it's a skill set be better be a little be do that's the sign of something you know something shitty is if you took the three best scatters I guess maybe you call him in the world and then put just two people who just had learned it two seconds before would you be able to

tell a difference a great way to know if you did if you took at the great grace gets put clap to next to a guy who just picked up a guitar you know that's see that's that's right that's the whole thing you be like I think that clouding guys better yeah but in scouting you might be like I don't know that guy that's been doing it a week's pretty fucking good I mean he probably probably be more fun to watch yeah yeah yeah it just yes he was kind of like an insane thing to do how about there's a whole scene you know like yeah like underground you know like yeah I think they think it's probably I think I feel like he's got the

vibe he thinks it's like some new form of jet you know it's like jazz it's like the millennial version of fucking jazz people have been doing this horseshit for a long time this is a old bullshit racket it's bullshit man it's old stuff yeah it's people have been scamming the scat thing for a minute feel like didn't what's the song where David Lee Ross like but did he but oh yeah did he bop yeah so that make him the world's greatest that's gotta be a big scat hit yeah because then there was the but then he fucked it up by singing words and singing all good and stuff there was the I'm the scat man song that

was how does that one I'm the scat man you remember that but then there's actual music around that that's right right in there's breaking the rules the free form also because there's no structure to it the fact that there's no at all structure it kind of doesn't make it a song right I mean you're a songwriter wheeler can you just willy-nilly no there's got to be some kind of yeah I mean that's what I'm that's what I keep being confused about like if you're in the studio he goes and the guy goes let's try it again he would be like I don't know what I did what do you mean try to try what again

he goes the new one will be a new song so it's just like whatever like if you had a 10 song album and just be whatever 10 pieces of shit you threw out there you know I kind of think we should try to make a scat album I think so too yeah great idea make it you could do with these two mics put it out you can make a lot of money yeah make a lot of money yeah scat the album maybe we could open for you yeah if you two scatted you could open every fucking show you want to yeah I'll sit down with kid rock and say I know I know I know I know openers can't have openers but I gotta get these guys to at least scat for a minute

before yeah how quickly before we got all the kid rock audience oh yeah you can hit with sure yeah for sure you know it would start like that people be like huh and then once it hit maybe like minute although I guess what's you know bow it debauches kind of a scat a little ball yeah bang the bang diggy all right but it but it it probably breaks the rules by being the same thing every it's amongst music there's actual music in there right but he always sings he doesn't he doesn't just go sometimes go scat but did that you know scat but did that pop pop his crowd on him turn on him if he was just scat me a cool

thing because when I get ready for a tour like the main my main thing everyone has to get their voice ready or whatever it is my main thing is learning the fucking lyrics takes me forever so scatting would be I mean probably probably do scat every once in a while really learning your own lyrics learning my own lyrics is fucking hard because because of the way I write is like you know because that people have to you know my man has to sing harmony with me so if I if I sing a wrong line they got the wrong line so it's like there's some there's a song called came fuck you off my mind we're just like yeah while Rita's

blowing me I mean it's like I got to remember who's doing what girls don't want to who right right so I gotta have them all right in an order I always you know I'm up I have zero musical skills and when I would do that's not sure you can scat I can scat but when I think that's statements do very basic stuff you know years ago like learn these four keys the idea you know I had to put so much thought into doing it one of the things that seems terrifying is you realize at the time that when you're doing it you're like wow I finally got this together that to sing while you're doing that for some people would be like

would be impossible I would not be able to yeah I didn't really sing that much until I had the guitar down pretty good because I was too shy about singing when I first started but yeah I had the guitar down good enough so I would I actually was I'm when I was a kid you know you could sing I knew it but I was too scared to really you know growing up with a bunch of big family I was too alright I was too shy to kind of belt it out you siblings yeah two brothers do what do they think of your I was gonna say mixed things my mom came my mom's from national so she comes to national a lot so she we had a record release show

I think for the last one and I think that was um well the oddest things I've ever done I think she was for the first record she came up to the show and I'm obviously you play no matter what you're just your eyes because I've always wear shades on all the time but mainly on special on stage for the lights and so I'm playing and I just could I had to watch my mom on the second fuck you bitch I've never I've never sat on all my years I've never seen this look from her which was this weird kind of like proud giant crowd you know yeah people people buying t-shirts and singing along and this other like half her face is like

what the fuck they do wrong yeah yeah yeah it's like mom the same song ain't about you you know right I was well I played the whole song and watched her face the whole time and I would it's not something I would advise anybody I don't like having my mom at shows that's you know I don't sing obviously but she come to show she's come to shows and usually she'll it's some version of that was great and then at some point she'll be like yeah why do you have to God you say a lot I was gonna say it's probably the exact same thing which is you know my I get a lot of you know your voice is so pretty you don't need to say the bad

words you know but that's like well all right she'll point out another comic you're like you know doesn't even say the f word play yes yeah she's like bro still needs to say that needs it doesn't need to talk about sitting on people's faces I'm well if he did he'd be even bigger yeah he sure he sure he's such a wank he's here we go we follow his social media dream still lives in my dream is for us to love one another all of us isn't that weird all of us what dream still is this was this was this the MLK one yeah probably but also it's most generic thing like you won't even mention MLK just like the dream everybody's

like not a lot of emotion in those now he's dead there all of us and he leans in and he doesn't really connect with you because it's dirty that sounds like a way for us to love one another all of us yeah yeah fuck I fucking hate that guy I mean it's weird because you say that now I mean just because country music has gotten so shitty you know because when I was a kid there was all that good country and Garth came along and he was the pop sell out so I'm still from that era but nowadays when there's such this horrible shit people you've never heard of like Florida Georgia line and you know all this other fucking

dog shit it's like pop yes like pop kind like Florida Georgia line we just got off a tour with Backstreet Boys and Nellie have fun at that one but I'm saying like that's the people I hate now but at the time it was Garth was the sell out yeah you know that there's a there's a famous quote attributed to Wayland but we don't nobody knows if Wayland said it or not but the quote was you know Garth Brooks did to did to country what panties did to finger fucking which I think I mean it's definitely a quote because I said it but yeah it's definitely a quote but I don't know that and everyone says that

says everyone says it's a Wayland Jennings quote but I don't know if it's a cool quote it's a good quote but it kind of is you know it's like yeah he really just kind of sanitized it forever yeah yeah it's the most fucking generic well it's terrible like if you didn't wear the cowboy hat would you know his country no I don't you know what bothers me the most because I don't know much about country music but I just find him to be so insincere and such a fucking phony baloney which is weird because that's what country is all about is right sincerity that's what I really like that what I know is that yeah you're supposed

to be real and you keep it real even if you have big millions of dollars and I just I just don't sense that from him I just I don't connect I don't know he seems like he's a sociopath he seems fucking crazy because we you know you guys and I both watch those fucking G alerts yeah it does the G breaks in with G alert of it couldn't be any couldn't be less important or anything G alert he's playing fucking Tulsa you know right yeah he alert yeah he let the conversation begin so creepy so creepy and he's also he's he's he's just he remind me a little bit of um I was just thinking about Prince today when that

that other that news kind of came out about him whatever they figured out what kind of drugs he was on but kind of that thing where he just kind of lost in his own world like he won't he's not on iTunes I don't know if you knew that Prince no Garth oh I did I knew Prince what you couldn't buy a lot of his I didn't know about Garth Garth well first of all his Chris Gaines is white from the internet yeah so good yeah but but Garth is not on iTunes or any of the other places he's only on Amazon why because he made some fucking giant well first before all that shit he's like fuck iTunes man I'll just make like Garth

P3s and so myself yeah so on his website you could buy like I really think it was called I think it really was called like GP3s and you can find directly from him like he likes his own initial a lot but yeah exactly it's like no dude that's not how the shit works you know it's like it's like it's like the idea of like in the old days he would build like a Garth records next to tower records thinking people would just go in there he's like I'm not playing this fucking game he's like I'm only gonna make my own versions of MP3s and some on the website but people don't go to people's websites and buy no you gotta be where

everyone else is buying albums but now he finally and I'm sure Amazon paid him a shitload and now here I am endorsing is telling people to go to Amazon but yeah don't the only way you can listen digitally is Amazon that's crazy what about in studio G studio G's got it let me ask you that's about I'm so curious I know nothing about it but you know in comedy if a huge comic wants you to open for him it's usually a personal connection like you would actually talk to the person or maybe like their assistant or something when you book a major music tour like this kid rock thing is that a person like deep does he call you or is

that just like your agent talk to his yeah my manager talk to his manager but I did I played he has a thing called the fish fry his like kid rock fish fry it's summer festival doesn't Nashville and I played that last year and we you know talked for a few minutes and he mentioned maybe torn with him mm-hmm and then he went on tour and I never heard like I was just like I guess it yeah it happened then we called for this fall tour I was just like obviously came around or you know some opened up and yeah I just got that you know you want to do it I'm like hmm yeah let's play some fucking you know okay it's like I was saying before I

always pictured this music in big places to me they sound like fucking anthems so just even even if the crowd isn't sure I mean my guess is kid rock fans probably get to the show early and start drinking but even was it an empty fucking empathy or still be cool to play and play those big fucking oh yeah yeah I bet they get there early and party yeah and make it in a way empty there is still thousands exactly that's the thing too I got to probably get used to which is looking out and seeing empty seats mm-hmm knowing that still 10 times the audience I usually play it's pretty crazy yeah pretty nuts man so this is a

I don't know this is an anti-drinking what is this anti-drinking ad from New Zealand okay I haven't seen it yet but let's see what it is they just killed the kid I mean I guess that is a reason not to drink but it doesn't seem like near the list I mean who's swinging kids around when they get hammered I mean yeah it's not my first choice I do that sober right I also wouldn't go crying you're crying you sit outside right like sissy well you know it'd be interesting as they get Wheeler's reaction on those videos from last week no please which

ones I know which ones okay yeah I want to see it now and I gotta see just tell I just want to just watch you know actually that's he turned out better than I thought he was gonna be first I mean okay face is kind of funny but that scream it's a funny screen it's a great screen but also when you play it I was like fuck am I gonna watch somebody die you know like that's like that guy needs to hit the hit the gym that's a good scream it's so so that's one verified funny yeah this is a another one this is a guy I was old because I think that last one doesn't you think it's like why

exactly were they filming that again yeah I don't know I filming the car come off I don't know he didn't jump that far I mean that's an uncomfortable jump for sure but yeah I mean his no he broke his leg that's off of the top of a truck thing you know but I'm saying he didn't jump 20 feet you know he probably what six seven he probably that was probably like the 12th time he broke his ankle so this is a military exercise a bunch of guys jump out of a plane and this guy's parachute is open but apparently it's not I don't know not a hundred percent the way it's supposed to be okay so so you know he's like a

shit was he in there right now yeah see they're all he just knows I mean that that's that means definitely verified funny yeah that one you don't know sometimes when you know you're gonna get hurt I sometimes scream extra because I know it'll like kind of soothe you a little bit I wonder if he's doing that I don't I'm curious what happened to this segment actually supposed to be called horrible or hilarious and you're two for two that they're hilarious yeah but also anything with a parachute if you're okay I think you can he's okay yeah I don't think this guy broke anything oh he definitely did his leg

yeah I'm not it's not as hilarious that like I see the sounds are funny like I get yeah but that's my now but I think you're laughing it more than that like you like that the guys are getting hurt no I don't I think it's funny sound it's definitely funny if someone's hurt and it's not you if they lived yeah that's yeah no yeah yeah totally about that I was on a Southwest yesterday and I'm like I love I always get the window seats of people don't bother me and I'm just sitting there next to that fucking window like looking to my right like is this guy have the strength to pull me back in like in case it's like down yeah

because I actually got posted on Instagram I said you know hey Southwest if I get sucked out this before I play took off if I get sucked out this window you know put this window make sure this window goes to the country musical somebody I don't know who is very expressive about pronouncing my name correctly I've never heard somebody like okay for I don't know what this is hey guys so there's this Latin American comedian that like I am obsessed with named Thomas Segurpa and but I always hear people like there's a lot of people know but they always like hey do you know Thompson girl I'm like yes I know Thomas

Segurra I I feel like I'm so tired of running around like pretending that people's names aren't pronounced like my name is Joshua Brown okay and I that's not a hard one to do yeah so Burt Chrysler oh yeah Joshua Brown Thomas Segurra Vladimir Putin let me fucking start getting it right yeah please it's good it's good point Joshua you got you got diverse fans I do and you it's comfortable it's nice to see your fans telling you you're seeing your name say my name yeah yeah I would appreciate if more of you said it like Josh did correctly Tomas Segurra yeah I was actually just thinking about you the

other day cuz I got a new place I got a new place in a new place in Nashville and I was the the guy runs the building yeah it's like oh man I'm big because I was kind of hope they don't know who I am yeah I'll fuck his like because they do gotta do a background check and they like they get worried about maybe not getting excited about the place but the dude was cool and he's like man I don't know if you probably get the same thing too there's a man I love Tom Segurra yeah I'm just like but you get probably get about other people I'm like yeah well I was on his you know what do you think about me like I mean I get that

to like shows you know man fucking Rogan you know yeah and I'm like I did I'll see what you wrote go see I know I did a show in Atlanta but I had a part in a movie that so I've been flying back and forth what's the movie it's a big family comedy is doing guy called instant family boy girl doesn't come out for a while but it's a big movie as Mark Wahlberg Roseburn Octavia Spencer like big big stars in it so I'm glad my thank you I've been flying back and forth and I added a couple shows to do while I'm in town because you have days off you know when you're shooting and so for the first one a bunch a bunch of crew you know

they told me they wanted to come so I leave tickets for them and same things happen I'm going back next week and the next day like I didn't see a lot most of them after the show but I see them the next day on set and one of the crew people a woman was like I was a lot of fun last night we really enjoyed it and I go thanks she goes you ever seen John Mulaney I go yeah she goes he's great and I go yeah he is great and they're like yeah I love everything he does and I go yeah so it's like we think of someone who does what you do but who I like more yeah yeah exactly yeah yeah yeah she like she laid it out for me and

I was like like he's very popular you know who is funny yeah so and so it was really funny not you like you just saw me go they I get that like you heard David Allen Coe he's fucking awesome like yeah I dig him yeah yeah you should um you should be like him you're like yeah now did the Latins really claim you a lot you know what happens people claim you who enjoy you for whatever they can claim you for yeah sure sure yeah I spent time growing up in Florida Floridians would be like you're Florida boy I was born in Ohio Ohio people were like you're in Ohio and that's very true so if somebody is like you know I've

had people come up to me like super Latin people after the show you're one of us like they are you know they identify with that part of me so they're like that's who you are yes whatever thing you know it's like yeah I get the Kentucky thing a lot too like there was a map of like you know country stars from Kentucky but I'm from central Kentucky so it was cool because it I was they put my face like they sure like you know Stapleton Sturgill where everyone's from my heads like right in the fucking middle there like in their most comments like you know why the fuck see in the middle it's like they're

just showing where you live where you live right yeah but it looks like you know they're also fucking surrounding well I got upset on Wikipedia it says I was born in Toronto Canada oh yeah which is not true I'm proud Windsor native right Windsor Ontario so much better so much nicer so much what's that I've still I've never been to Canada you never been no we got I get all we we do the tour is gonna hit there right this tour won't know yeah I got tour there sometimes because we do sell a decent amount of records there I gotta go how much of a will the tour hit the whole nation the kid rock one yeah I mean I

don't know the exact I do know I know for a fact we're playing California and I know we're playing New York and Florida so those three alone makes me is there an LA show no there's um I don't think or maybe one of those you know like one of those things that I think might be kind of considered out lately maybe some kind of or shoreline amphitheater what's that the shoreline that's in Mississippi yeah it's near there it's massive like there's something else I've done the shoreline it's really crazy you guys might do like Riverside or San Bernardino right outside I don't remember I once opened up for Ted

Nugent way back in the day and he had he played like it near Riverside you open up for Ted Nugent a million years ago and I was not qualified and I ate such shit it was the worst thing ever seems like a hard gig it's didn't the old days so far a lot of comedians open up for yeah like rock stars so that seems that seems fucking hard I would turn it down 100% across the board I should have I just didn't know any better it's not in my audience at all dude I've almost heard no good stories about yeah one of my first shows I did two shows for David Allen Coe and the because the I didn't get paid shit so the first show to pay

for a band the second show I just did the first show acoustic by myself which is probably close to you know the point being you know you can hear you know you can hear the fucking crowd talking yeah I just can't stand it yeah I know Fultron has that great story about opening from her Brendan flowers from the Killers oh I remember it's great it's I mean I'll let him I think he's told it he may have told it on our show but he's definitely told the story it's why Joey Diaz do a bunch of dates out here with me how was that I was fucking great that's different though it's different yeah because he can really get him psych

I mean it was like it was it was a perfect match the shows were great and people you know hmm he gets has kind of like a there's kind of a you know rock star yeah where he's like kind of screaming people you know into him plus you go on that podcast and tell people you're playing all his guys show up so that had to be fun that was really fun yeah um was that at the Microsoft something here it was something what was it called the Novo the Novo I think it is yeah I remember seeing was that big venue yeah I mean it was big for me it was like I don't know theater like 1500 or something yeah but isn't that but it's a

downtown area yeah I think it and they have an adjoining other venue Microsoft I don't know here's all he's the only thing I know which I've never been before but it's a mom's your mom's house exclusive I hired off Craigslist I hired protesters to hold up you know like you know screw wheeler all this stuff and we hired him and fucking paid these dudes whatever 20 bucks a piece for half an hour to protest my show cuz I was gonna film it and go out there and I was gonna fight them all that's hilarious and uh because it's it's like that kind of like downtown area it's like there's a bunch of it's like across

from staples there's a bunch of shit there yeah and they fucking bust they they wouldn't allow cameras they were and they made the protesters leave and I tried I was like get explained it's hard to explain to the cops that it's a fucking bit it's a bit yeah but I paid fucking paid them all so I had a whole thing ready because I was gonna fucking you know she put them in chokeholds and take him out you know and then fucking you know and we had called all the local news stations to come out to you did I don't think anyone showed up because there's nothing to show up to yeah it's too bad this is a if you heard of the

pink preacher no this is the guys I guess he I don't know just I'll let you see what he does well venu here and I'm joined by the pink preacher awesome man so hey it's great seeing you here and you look incredible I mean you look awesome thank you man yeah I love your hair I mean thank you thank you it's um it's also that's a such a indicator when somebody says like great to see you or something you start laughing yeah but why are you laughing at that what is your story man what what's your story a couple well basically three months ago I was in bed

around 11 o'clock at night sleeping I'm a great sleeper and God woke me up and says he had me go to my phone and on my phone was a photo of a billboard that I've said read this and made me laugh it said don't go to church it's all fake news this is I guess somewhat reminiscent of people you see a Hollywood Boulevard yeah it's exactly anytime you hear you know what's your story and this this long story the story begins three months ago yeah yeah it's not it's not this is not hit it's not his life calling really yeah no what happened is God pushed me in that night now again it's around 1115 then I then I saw that

in Oklahoma I followed the links in the article and they said that in in March or having a atheist convention right well God says I want you to go to that convention do you fucking I feel like there's people who went to high school with him who are just like Ronnie was a piece of shit like they're watching this right now that's that's the look of a that guy does not need to be near the internet you know right just like everything like God had me click this link yeah God you know God asked me to you know buy this fucking you know plasma screen on Amazon shit you know God told me that you know over these glasses and

this piece of shit goes to nightclubs and preaches the reason I wear the crazy outfit I do something called nightclub organization nightclub outreach three and a half years ago again God stop waking me up at 11 o'clock three and a half years ago I was sleeping God woke me up and says go a minister I said where God 711 because what's open he goes you're gonna go to the nightclubs now watch this guys I've been married ten years I go in I said hey I'm gonna go to the nightclubs because God wants me to she says she says okay I'll pray for you I hate him so much imagine his is his that's probably his wife top in whispering

whether his brain does it yeah you know you should go out of night to nightclubs and preach yeah whatever gets you out of the fucking house whatever gets you away from you and God told me to go to strew clubs get lab dances and do cocaine so do you remember the guy that made obviously the prank call yeah so we had a listener make a call using Christina's voice her actual voice her actual recordings of her call a sex line and talk to the sex operator that she was into scat play like I'm not singing but that shit it was fans great call and that even went they had Christina go too far like said something about Hitler and

the sex operator was like that's a little too much for me and like it was really really well done now they are having I guess this is a call that they used me my voice I think Ari Joe and maybe Bert I haven't heard it I just know that this is is it the same dude I think the same guy made it yeah same guy made it hey hey how's it going good how are you you enjoying the day to tell you the truth where I live it's 80 degrees today it's we've been getting hit with a lot of snow and stuff so it's been beautiful I've been hanging out on the back porch drinking gin and tonics to tell you the truth fantastic that sounds great me and

the birds hmm you and the birds well you're sitting on the back porch listening to the birds and I'm sitting here playing with this big pecker watching porn oh yeah well when I sit outside I normally have my hand down my pants and playing with my nuts anyway but we play with your nuts while listening to the birds yeah yeah how big your pecker by the way it's all right six and a half but I got girth six and a half at night I invited some friends over cuz we really want you to listen to us fuck all the guys that they're like man you have a hot man I bet your cock is beautiful oh I think there's somebody coming that

company hey how's it going man oh hey Tom my friend Tom just got here hey you look great Tom like shower today you smell really good what do you want to do Tom let's jack off yeah you want to see Tom and I jack off I'd love to see that are you kidding this is really just one sec I'm gonna go get your favorite big mushy purple dildo hold on no way come on touch it put your hand on it all right you're ready Tom yeah I'm trying to nut all right I'm about to hook up with a guy right now there's a lot more yeah I love it I'm really impressed with his he's like it's a lot of work it's a lot of work professional yeah what do you want

to do now let's pick up the pace a little bit do you like circumcised cock yeah actually says he's got a beautiful circumcised cock I do how do you want it Tom I wanted hardcore want to see it going in and out fuck Tom get ready you know what we're here to do somebody there oh it's Uncle Joey I'm gonna stick it in your ass why don't we just hang out and come on each other yeah just put it in my ass you have to be a gentleman I don't feel jelly oh my god she's really sad really big dick machine on your ass with my tongue

oh whoa Joe Joe welcome to you holy shit what is this what you two go fuck T-buns in his pooper fuck yeah okay in the same hole that's some point you don't need the gun the other end I know right so much drop the bluey on him great now it's bird oh I'm back baby give me those great means this guy's in a pool I love you guys suck my dick oh my god it's a lot of noise but it's really well done this guy is a mask yeah I love these people not people don't have a lot of jobs you know they got shit they just got so much time you know

they learned think about all that they learned to be an engineer so they learned how to like grab clips from the fucking you know itunes or the internet or whatever all that shit takes hours and hours and Tom most of these clips I remember from our show from your mom's yeah I know this is all on our show it's so what's that I'm curious what Joey was talking about yeah so bad I fucking love to come down to death yeah straight pervert is that Jesus Christ this is real degenerate so is there just like a constant like guys in the background yeah yeah just guys just doing this guy's fucking in the

background it's really intense there's one last clip I have to we owe him the respect to play the last well I'm how does it end oh yeah thank you your time is up for this call goodbye yeah that's it wow kind of vague ending you know yeah no real you don't you don't really tie up the story I'm like a lot of guys wow I'm sped just listening I don't even know that doesn't even say the name here but you really are a master of these Jesus really really impressed thank you for doing that they pride to pay a ton for that call to yeah yeah that's true I used to them I you know my friends

we get those like hundred dollars the parents we get those hundred dollar you'd call sex operators we prank him you know because I think it was kind of like we wanted to um we were horny then we actually wanted to call him but we pretended was a prank you know right right you know like tell you know talk about your boobs you know yeah get real sexual and we just give you fucking giggling and shit and then they call my parents like I have them like a hundred but you know it was always you like Wheeler came over yeah I mean it was it was fucking I mean well you're from kind of a smaller place too which is

just nothing to fucking do yeah yeah I never did it I never called I think I was probably more terrified of of getting in trouble yeah yeah you do much prank prank calling though we did some prank calling I remember one time you know you in the in the sort of the same way we would prank call cute girls we like from school call and hang up or like you know do voices yeah it was fun before you know caller ID and shit I remember before caller ID a girl knew that was so terrible we used to we had one buddy who had um it was the first guy we ever knew his parents right I think his dad was in some kind of

business they had two phone lines mm-hmm so we would do the we would call the same time and if they picked up at the same time they'd be talking to each other so we'd call like a girl in high school like a guy who had a crush on a girl in high school yeah and just hook them up together so he thought she called and she thought he called they're just like that you know who is this you know that's really oh yeah it's it's Brad you know oh thanks for calling I didn't call you anything yeah we just listened to them basically because we were basically gels you know of course you know when this girl told me this is

like fifth grade man she was like I know you called me I was like I didn't call could be called obviously and I don't know how it's like they back then it was like you you have to ask the operator yeah we we I we had to bust a couple of times people would call yeah I don't know if it's the cops or somebody with you okay that I just got a thread on the phone can you move yeah and you have to get like I remember you get like a like a reverse phone the phone book you know where you never tells you what the numbers are yeah yeah yeah I don't know it definitely the game changed for sure when when it became everybody has caller

ID oh yeah cuz I you know I'm doing a the Wheeler podcast where people call in on my voicemail and leave messages mm-hmm so I did you obviously I wanted to be real have my real phone and now it is my real phone but I got a new phone so we're doing up you know people of cop podcast people call in all answer their questions what line do they call you you get a second line yeah I got a second line for me but it's still my real this one's don't remember oh it is it's all my it's all my Twitter and my Instagram you can call in and the messages the messages Wheeler the Wheeler Walker junior podcast it's a season two coming

up the same people the ATC those same dudes you're working with oh yeah they're great they're awesome yeah yeah help me out a ton on it cuz I can't do all that fucking shit I came on this guy can't edit and shit you know yeah you know I have a I've had a bunch of bets challenges with Bert Kreischer and and you fucking killed him on the the way lost oh yeah yeah looks like you're still keeping off to yeah trying man I work out four or five days a week trying to eat dog shit all the time but this is a dog shit eating challenge so you know donut holes oh fuck yeah we're gonna see who can eat more in 12 minutes who's who's

we Bert and I oh the contest it's kind of the anti-contest that you had before it is the anti-contest I'm gonna count I'm gonna I don't know I think feel like Bert's the kind of guy who could really wolf some food down I mean he feels like he's like been a million parties where you've been all people have lost money betting against him on and now somebody you prior singing at all now this this somebody said here that this isn't a suggestion famous drinking game a participant called the power our rules are simple drink one shot of beer every minute for an hour straight then more or less I feel like this would be a great

dynamic for the donut challenge simply set an alarm to go off eat one or two donut holes every minute until one of you taps out no because that would take too long I don't want to fuck yeah that's not fun that's a horrible so yeah do one yeah you can do it on the podcast or yeah like that's why we said a time limit it's about how many can you eat a time limit you think part of his thing will be doing or either one of you gonna do more than like show a bunch in at once well I saw him yesterday on Instagram on his stories he was at the airport he stopped by a Krispy Kreme and he kept posting himself eating

different donuts like yes it's a good question which theory would work the best because it's like one at a time you can go fast but like five at a time it takes longer to yeah I was figuring out the donut challenge you know and what what are we talking about now which part of the day saying like would you do multiple ones that one like in other words hold you could do like cram them in well it's time the essence yeah you're against the clock how much a minute time limit who yeah and I think that's the advantage of doing the donut holes is that you can train two at a time right you go one I was gonna say maybe squash

them together and that's a good idea but that might be an unfair thing what if the crumbs leave and then now that that contributes to it being a lesser donut it's an interesting volume yeah we got we got who's the judge for this I am she's gonna be the judge I have to think this through I gotta say the more I tell I've talked to people about it the more I realize how formidable an opponent for eating bird is now everyone has been saying like I bet that dude can crush some donuts yeah wait now have you two decided on the type is that an old fashioned I'll call him after this I think we should decide you guys should

have to do the same type of donut it only seems fair that seems fair yeah I'll let him pick I'll let him pick you're sure glazed would be the one that's the old the classic I think that's gonna be less dense than the chocolate but for some reason the chocolate don't hold chocolate I think the other thing you're gonna think about as I think as I'm thinking about I think you're gonna realize how long 12 minutes it's a good point you're gonna be shoving a man you're thinking like how much longer it's gonna look 11 minutes 30 well it's a good point cuz how long is Nathan's hot dog eating contest that's like that's

nothing a couple minutes yeah yeah those guys yeah you're allowed to do that because that's their big thing is water right yeah yeah you can you can do water you can do water get them wet and show them now do we want to allow that's a good point Wheeler do we want to allow water dunking and milk or whatever you want to add can you add hot hot dog buns I'm just thinking about how long 12 minutes is so long you can do a lot in 12 minutes I mean what's up what's I mean like the cost me how long was the Cosby show I was like it's like half the 22 minutes right 22 minutes I used to sit right don't it's watching the Cosby

show I didn't do I didn't eat them non-stop or half the show I feel pretty full and then you're like you got seven minutes left so so then maybe maybe maybe the challenge here is not so much cramming two at a time but pacing yourself yeah finding what that pace is you all bet the winners if you just one one one yeah is the way to do it then it's just if you eat it away that's just not gonna make yourself sick and you just do it you know tortoise in the hair but see that's the thing is I don't think he'll go slow no I think he'll do three at a time non-stop for 12 minutes yeah I think the final score is gonna be

some funny like 82 to 6 or something I think you're right I think that Bert tends to go in excess he's going to do the Mickey Mantle gene thing and like really cramps you know you know people have told me you friends men you eat fast you and then I've only been in awe of him I've never even come close to his yeah here's my here's my advice and I don't like giving people advice but you gotta stop challenging a guy whose name is the machine yeah right yeah you know he didn't get that it's not some nickname just popped up yeah he's a machine at every I mean he probably got them name machine probably started somewhere with

don't know yeah well I'm I am worried about you I mean you I think it's a certainty that you're gonna get sick yeah I'm gonna get sick I'm gonna get sick yeah I think that should I think that should be a rule that if I mean diary doesn't count but if you throw up it you couldn't count I think that's how it is in Nathan's hot dog eating contest there's a certain time yeah yeah so maybe we could do that we have to hold it in for a certain amount of time I'm definitely gonna have diarrhea 100% you think diary you know while I'm on the road I would say nothing gives me worse you talk about why Lays don't show up

my shows cuz I talk about but the worst nothing gives me the shit worse than glazed donuts I don't know what it is all that sugar it's just so we can it's just like it's not yeah not good for your doesn't affect me that way it makes my stomach hurt but I don't shit do we get a song before we wrap up yeah I'll sing how about I sing my new single okay yeah I don't really have single let's make videos don't tell you about the video so I was at there's just there was this guy his name is Reginald big black guy with a cowboy hat he calls himself Wheeler with a tan and he he um lips things to my videos all the time

and I'm puts on Instagram and then he can't he can't comes to a show in Dallas and I just see it I was like it was like seeing my soup of my hero come to life he's like man I want to do a video video for you I was like fuck yeah I got his number and this is a song my album called with my dick is up why am I down yeah I remember that song and then he made it I was like if you could shoot this video from a couple angles we'll add it together into a video and he did it was pretty fucking cool hmm that's awesome so thanks Reginald you know me my guitar okay great yeah this is great how many do you think you could eat in

12 minutes I don't know it's picking the number seems really scary how about one think about 60 seconds what do you think and then no five in a minute no no 25 25 yeah no it's possible yeah I think you might get a little sick one every 20 seconds maybe is realistic I tell him I think the key is to be realistic here because then you're gonna pace yourself we got training train on the pacing well there's a difference between going for there's a difference between going for one minute and going for shimmy the back home you can at this point just do whatever you need to do it's a little early for me so I'm not

sure about my voice should I do my warm-ups I went to what a guy wants for vocal training not I didn't even need to train I wanted to learn how to like warm up every night yeah taught me my good he goes you just go go go go so I do my goose oh okay you do yeah but I'll give him a little more Mike will you pull the mic a little closer cool I mean you can pull it you can move it you good yeah girls I used to jack off to when I skipped a class and now getting me up for a backstage pass all the ladies get wet when I roll into town so if my dick is up

tell me why am I down tugging me fucking me sucking my dick till my balls run dry women I never met women that tips down so why am I crying girls finger their pussy's when they hear I'm around so my dick is up tell me why am I down we the girl at the show and I hand her big and before we shake and she starts sucking my dick swallows my nut while I stare at the ground so my dick is up tell me why am I

down leave me leave me fucking me wrong till my dick gets sore one girl is leaving there's two more outside who just walked through the door now I've learned to eat pussy while I'm wearing frown so my dick is up tell me why am I down look at me sticking me digging your post till the sun comes up ladies I never met sending me text saying they won't fuck girls suck on my nuts while they're reaching around so my dick is up tell me

why am I down so my dick is up tell me why am I down why am I down wow really good that's really great thanks thanks really nice beautiful well that be you think that'll be a live one to play the amphitheater tour now I'm wondering where it's a little bit on the slower side right which one eat queer is gonna suck my dick is got a nice rock I think that's good one for the kid rock yeah fans of the rockers even pose a kick in ass I'll probably do more up

tempo stuff would you oh you got to open with a bag too I assume right yeah I think I don't want to give too much away yeah I don't know I don't know how much the kid rock podcast audience crisscrosses with your mom's house but probably open with sit on my face you know just to get the crowd let the crowd know what's up that's awesome man I'm really happy for a congrats on that thanks man thanks for having me back I love you guys yeah great always great we'll walk a junior if you don't have all wheeler the latest album it's fantastic you can catch him on tour later this year opening for crit rock on a

major amphitheater tour and you have the with a wheeler podcast yeah with a wheel walk a junior podcast probably be a season two I call them seasons cuz I take months off between yeah probably up in the next couple weeks I don't know when this airs but it'll probably be up close to okay all right thanks for coming your mom's house podcast calm don't forget you can get tickets to see us live Christina P online dot com Tom cigarette calm and follow we're there walk a junior all right thanks for coming you know this is a right now by DJ right now thanks for for listening bye guys

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