Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - 450-Dr. Drew-Your Mom's House with Christina P and Tom Segura

Episode Date: May 30, 2018

You wanted it, we wanted it and now all of our wishes have come true. The magnificent Dr. Drew Pinksy is back in studio evaluating our clips and us as only he can do. Will he agree that the lung infection singer has lung issues? Does he think the sissy of Freemont comes from a traumatic background? Will scat sex get you physically ill? And most importantly, is Dr. Drew going to join the 4 Stroke Gang? All the answers you want are here!  

Gene? Yes? Where can the people see you? May 31st in the Belly Room Comedy Store. Sold out! Sold out. That's it. That's, um, running my Netflix set right before I go tape it June 4th. In, uh, what's Las Vegas for us?

What's Las Vegas for us? What's Las Vegas for us? What's Las Vegas for us? What's Las Vegas for us? What's Las Vegas for us? Can you turn that up a little bit? Oh, yeah. What's Las Vegas?

Moms ba- Moms penis? Moms veterans? I heard it referred to, like that. Moms Vegas. Uh, taping for that's, for the Netflix special, the degenerates. If you want to come see that taping for free, go to Christina P. Online. Use the promo code your mom and you'll get preferential seating.

Just give them a few days to get back to you. It takes a while. It's free seats. But, uh, the only way you'll get great seating is if you put in the code, your mom and Joey Diaz is on that lineup. They just added Brad Williams and, uh, Jay Ogerson and I can't know the other two chicks. The girls are on there. I don't know them cause they're East coasters, but it's going to be a maze.

A maze. November 24th in Man Diego, California. House of Blues. And then December 8th, Jewdork titties at the Gramercy Theater. Only a handful of tickets left on that one. Tickets at Christina P. Online. Go for it, Tom. It's your turn.

Oh, so I was just, uh, verifying this and it is true. If you, uh, if you were living in the Brea area, uh, those shows have been sold out for a while, but what happened is, uh, the club is moving down the street. Still in Brea, it's still in the same block, but they're moving to a much bigger space. So they have opened up tickets to every show because of the new capacity.

So they'll probably go pretty quick. Uh, the ones that were on sale went fast, but, uh, if you missed out on the original tickets, you can go to TomSigura.com slash tour and get the, um, tickets to those shows. I believe it's August 2nd and 3rd at the Brea Improv. Um, Saturday's almost gone at the West Palm Breastballs Beach Improv. Breastballs Beach, yeah.

Florida at the Improv there. Those are on sale. And, uh, let's see. I have, um, some shows, some tickets left in Fill Her Up Delphia. Um, I have shows, uh, the second show still available in, um, what's it called? What's your tits called? Uh, you, uh, no, um, Boise.

So, yeah, here's the, uh, the new exciting show. Eugene, Oregon is on sale. What's Eugene? Yeah, Eugene's. Oh, Eugene's. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, dude. Thenin Sale is Friday.

The presale will be this Wednesday, uh, May 30th, beginning at 10 am Pacific to McDonnell Theatre. The password if you'd like to get tickets during the presale is champCHaN That's ridiculous. I don't know why they'd give that one to you. Um, that show is going to be October 4th at the McDonnell Theatre. Uh, there's also some other shows on sale. Ball Sacramento, uh, Fresno, couple others.

Go to tomscure.com slash tour and, uh, uh, yeah, enjoy that. Please get tickets to see us. We're very excited about it. Gene, are you ready to get down to business? I'm so excited for today's episode. It's going to be a fun one, Gene. It's been a long time in the making. We prepped for this for a long time.

We got a lot going on. Yeah. You ready to do it? Yeah. Let's get started. Oh, shit. They fuckin' shit up. Where these birds from, folks?

These birds hate people. Oh my God, folks. They are shitting up a storm out here. Literally. Look at that shit. Shit storm. Shit ain't over. Damn.

That shit is big time. This is Randy. Don't bring anyone loving to this. You're burning the fuckin' stand. Welcome. Welcome to your mom's house. With Tom Segura. Tom Segura.

And Christina Pajitse. Christina Pajitse. Welcome to your mom's house. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. That was just a little thing to get the show started. You know, right in our wheelhouse. A lot of shit.

You know what I'm saying? Excited voice. But yeah, today's gonna be fun. We got a lot to get into. First of all, can we get into your jacket? Yeah, what's up? First of all, are you Ukrainian? Are you Slovenian?

Are you Hungarian? Like what's the look you're going for? It's all that Slavic. I'm a dope producer. Yo, you know what I'm saying? This is so my tribe right now. I'm really feeling it. Maybe.

I don't know. I just, you know, my folk came through, threw me a fucking dope jacket and I put it on. What's the flag of? What a former Russian Soviet country is that? I don't know what that is. Which satellite country? I think I saw a Dominican guy wearing it. I was like, where'd you get that?

It's pretty dope though. I like it. I mean, it's definitely loud. It makes a lot of statements. I wore it on a plane. People were definitely noticing. Yeah. Geez, this guy.

If you wore that to Hungary and met like my relatives and friends, they'd be like, that's a good jacket. This is nice. This is good stuff here. Good jacket. You leave that behind. Maybe. You like house music?

Absolutely. Do you like house music? Do you? Do you? I remember when I worked with this German girl and she was like, how come nobody likes house music? And I was like, I don't know. It's not 1994.

What are you talking about? We're Americans. And she was like, I'm going to be dancing this way. Oh my God. Good luck. Take that foreign shit out, man. I've been in Madrid for a semester. Every club.

Of course. In the nineties, like the UK loved it. Yeah. Hungry to boom and everywhere. The UK. They love that shit. They love it. It was good.

I know. There's like a few good songs. That never really took off here though. Something about that sensibility is not, I don't know. It's not, it's not as, like there it feels, it's mainstream. That's what people are into. If you're young, if you're cool, that's what you like. And here it wasn't like that.

No, that's too, I don't know. But then again, we like that club music. People like, you know, people do drugs. Raves and stuff. Yeah. Like that was cool. But I don't know. I'm out of touch.

What do I know? I don't know anything. We're, we're basically lost on our television shows. You know what's so funny is that as we're sitting here recording now, all I can think about is like, when can we go back upstairs and put the TV on and finish where we left off? I know. There's so many good shows we're into right now.

Well, here's what happens is we dry up the, the well dries up and then I find the TLC app. That's what happens is the well dries up on really amazing award-winning television. Right. The scripted mega shows that are phenomenal. Like we're coming to an end on the Americans. I'm so upset that we're coming to an end on the Americans. If you never got into the Americans, you want a deep dive, you'll have six seasons.

So good. So good. We're watching Handmaid's Tale. Handjob's Tale is really picking up. Thank God there's finally hope. I was about to come at suicide a couple episodes back. So now we're, we're having some hope and I'm stoked. We're really, really excited.

We're fired up. It's, it's good. I mean, this, this last ending was just like, bam, I love that. That kind of reminds me of when one of those shows where you go, well, all, you know, I don't want to give it away, but it's like when you're watching one of the amazing, like a breaking bat and something central that you're used to changes all of a sudden, you're like, where are they going to go from here? So good.

You know, Sopranos, like a character is just out of the picture. You're like, what, what's going to happen now? Yeah, yeah, yeah. They just really fucked it up. I'm super excited for Handjob's Tale. But anyways, we get, we run through these shows and so then you're great at finding the filler shows, the depraved, the, um, the outliers, the marginalized shows might as well tip our hat and just tell the network, TLC, you have really outdone yourselves.

If you have an Apple TV, I recommend just going and getting the TLC app and just scrolling through their reality line up. There's like, it's a joke. It's a fucking joke, but it's so good. Fat dwarves, fat and black. It's called big and little. Oh yeah. Big and little.

That's about fat dwarves. Fat dwarves. Yeah. Which I heard, I fell asleep, but you said it wasn't as funny as we thought. No, it was way, way more depressing than I thought it would be. See, that's the problem with TLC is they get you empathy. They get the emotional one. Yeah.

Like, I don't want to be empathetic. I want to laugh. I want to enjoy my fat dwarves and, you know, and then you got me feeling for them. Like, oh, God damn it. I don't want to feel these people. And then there was a, yeah, there's, they have a whole bunch of fat stuff. Like my fat. It's the fat channel.

I lost all the fat and now my skin hangs off me. It's called like skin tight or something. We watched that one and that was depressing too. And it's also hard to watch, you know, they're like, this skin will tear, like, ugh. And then there's a. So depressing. Yeah. Fat and alive.

Fat and can't leave house. And we're a fat family. And yeah, it's just all kinds of fat shit. Yeah. And then they have a lot of gender stuff, you know, a lot like. Jazz. I don't watch that because I feel bad. It's a little kid.

I watch that. Yeah. But then there's one now that we are really deep into called lost in transition. And here's the premise of this. I know it is so captivating. The premise is there are married couples that have been married for a while. I mean, we're talking anywhere from like eight to sometimes 30 years. Yeah.

Right. So. Multiple children. Children for most. And in each of these marriages, the man has told the woman that he wants to transition to a woman. And I mean, you are really, it is like jumping into a household and seeing the biggest bomb drop in a relationship.

You're literally getting to peek in to a private life and seeing somebody go, I am going to blow up what we have been used to for three decades sometimes. Right. And the thing is, the interesting part is that the trans part isn't that interesting to me anymore because I feel like we've seen so many shows and we're kind of, we have a better understanding of that. The reactions. It's, yeah.

Like the way people handle it. Yeah. It's the emotional drama that's happening. Of course. And there's this one couple, they've been married 24 years. They have, is it three children or four? Which one? The hyal woman who's like just the most normal, okay, they have two children and her whole

dream in life. Well, the one that's married to my dad basically. Yeah. Yeah. The husband is like, he's got a, he's got a belly. He's got the traditional bald like horseshoe. He just looks like one of my dad's golfing friends. He's never going to be a good looking woman.

It's never. It's not going to happen. And he's just like, and he's so happy that it's, that he's told her. But wait, wait, wait. Let's back it up. No, the back it up. The other part is that she is like, I mean, all I ever wanted in life was to get married and have children and have a house and go to the Hobby Lobby on Saturday.

Like her. She's very simple. Yeah. All she wanted out of life was the house, the husband, like the life, the family. And she had it. And she did. She's living the life that she wanted. She's living the life that she wanted.

He drops it on her one night and she's like, what? And then, and then you see, you see real, I mean, devastation that not that he's doing it. It's that life is now not, is changing. And so then they're like, what are they going to do? Like, well, we're going to get divorced and get separate places. He is like flipping pancakes and he's like, we sure are, and he's like cleaning up, cleaning up shit in the garage and he's like, I cannot fucking wait for this.

And they're sitting there in this interview and he's like, you know, it was so hard to tell her. And he's like, but you know, here I was my whole life, you know, my wedding day and the birth of our children. And I was just always so devastated and miserable because, because he knew that he was trans from day like, yeah, before they got married and he just couldn't come out and he couldn't say anything. And he was like, I was so devastated and like, oh God, I'm so miserable.

And she was like, that's so hurtful to hear because I've got over great days. Well, what? Like, she's clearly like, wait a minute, those are the best days of my life, the birth of our children or wedding. Oh, no, no, no, not mine. It's not mine. And then the best part is that, like you said, he's when he's flipping the pancakes and she's like, I've never been on my own before and he's like, yep, it's going to be tight, not

a lot of money. Yep. I don't even know how to balance my checkbook. I'm going to get separate places. He's like, the budget's really going to be tight, so you're going to have to not splurge. Anyway, I'm going to go out now. Right. So great.

He doesn't give a fuck. He's so, I think he's so relieved to come out. He is. You could tell. I mean, you could tell. The weight is off of him. And then there's this other woman who's this really educated like engineer and she's in her fifties and she doesn't understand trans.

She doesn't get it at all. She thinks he's just gay. No, she thinks that it's a choice. Yeah. He's like, I want to go to Cabo. And she's like, you can't, we can't do it. She thinks she's like, do you understand if you do this, it'll fuck shit up between us. And he's like, yeah, I do understand that she's like, you're so selfish.

No, it really doesn't comprehend that it's like a brain thing. He really does need to do this to feel whole. Yeah. She doesn't get it. But actually that's kind of fascinating to watch too. Oh, that's the best. Yeah. Because you know that everybody in, not everybody, but that that generation probably empathizes,

like shares her point of view on it, that it's kind of voluntary maybe and like. Well, it's generational. Yeah. Like my dad would probably be like, yeah, this guy's choosing to be a woman. Come on, buddy. You know, you're choosing. They just don't have like the same empathy and understanding. So to watch her spiral has just been fantastic too.

And then her friend comes over who's like the know it all and who's intervening in their marriage and you're like, bitch, why are you here? And she's like, I am not a lesbian. I don't like, I'm not gay. Oh, right. Because she's really adamant. She's like, I'll be living with a woman there and I don't like women like that. She keeps saying that over and over.

She likes penises and there's an house. It's so great. What a great show. It is a great show. And I kind of wonder. What, what, what would you do? I would, I would have to be committed. Like I love, but I, you know, cause I really do think about this seriously now that we're

watching, like I love you so much that I would stand by you clearly and I'd be like, okay, we'll, we'll transition you and you can live with us and raise our kids. But like, I may have to have a boyfriend. I may have to step out. What the fuck, man? Well, we can't do it anymore. You're not a man. You'll, you're going to transition.

That's very horrible. And you're probably not going to be very attractive as a woman. Let's face it. That's also very hurtful. You're going to be the ugliest woman that ever lived. Jesus, you can dial it back a little bit. No, I'm serious. You're not meant to be a woman.

Like your shoulders are too broad. You have so much hair. Could you imagine, although the hormones will make the hair fall out, I think. I think that I'd be a pretty cute. You'd be horrendous as a woman. What would you do if I was like, I'm a man? Oh, I'd be so into it. That would be, it would be, I'd be like, okay.

No, I think I, I love you like that too. Or I'd be like, we have that spare room and that could be yours. And, you know, if you start lifting, we could start sharing clothes. And then you could get your second Dalmatian wife like you wanted. Oh my God. Can you imagine her and you and me living together? How much fun that would be? Kind of like something I kind of would just for the sake of the family.

I'd be like, I'll just raise our kids. The kids call Dalmatian though, just by her first name. Well, what are they going to call me? Maybe like Jenny. Daddy and Daddy. Yeah, Daddy and Daddy. Daddy, Daddy and Jenny. No, they'd sell, he's a boy is so.

You mean Misty. She wouldn't be named Jenny. That's too boring. Yeah. Misty. Crystal. Yeah. Shandy.

You'd be, you'd be mommy to him for a while. He'd be, it'd be hard to break it for him. He's so young. Or maybe he would start calling, we just, we'd have him call you your new name. What would be your dude name? That's tough. It's so hard to choose. I'd choose like a regular name.

Oh my God. When that, when the one woman, the lady who's not ready for it, who's older goes, so do you have a name, like a woman's name that you always wanted? So much contempt to the question. He's like, yeah. She's like, what is it? He's like, Lucy from I love Lucy. I love that show.

And she goes, I fucking hate that name. It's a stupid name. She's not cool about it. No way. And then there's other kids. They've been together for 14 years and they have, they're the ones that have four kids. And they live in a cul-de-sac where everybody knows everyone's business. And she's really trying to hold it together with him, even though he's transitioning.

And you can tell she's just eating those feelings. Like she's getting fatter and fatter every year. I have a special treat for you that I want to get to before our guest arrives. Sure. So for people who may have missed last week's show, Christina is taping another Netflix special called the degenerates. Yes. Joey Diaz is doing it.

Lisa Traeger. Lisa Traeger. That's her name. Yes. Big J. Oakerson. Brad Williams. Brad Williams. I'm forgetting somebody else.

There's one other woman who I don't know. But anyway, it's a great lineup. It's in Las Vegas. You've been running your material, getting ready for it. I thought as a gift, because you're my wife, that I could just go ahead and throw out there some joke ideas for you. Jesus Christ. So what I wanted to do was create this moment where we have you run this material right

now, cold. You don't know what it is. I just wrote it for you and you just read it. Are you fucking serious right now? Yeah. You wrote something for me? Yeah. Isn't that nice?

I already know what it is. Just don't. I know. I know. I know what you're going to fucking... But don't even say... I think it's helpful and that it's a spouse trying to help a spouse. So I'll go ahead and play the MC and then you go ahead and do the bit.

Okay? And fully commit, please. Terrify. All right. And come into the stage now, ladies and gentlemen, put your hands together for Christina P. Okay. Okay. Go ahead.

Here. You like big tits? Well, I got... Well, I got... Check out these milkers. These are tits. So far, so good Tom. I call this one Milwaukee and this one Green Bay.

These are ripe for all your dairy needs. Milk, you got it. Cheese, uh-huh. Margaret, could you give me till tomorrow? Okay. Look at... Babe, look at this bitch over here. She got some tiny little hungry tits.

Damn bitch, you got a gluten allergy or something? Eat a sandwich, skinny little bitch. Babe, you think this is my voice? Yeah. Like this is how I tell jokes? Yes. This is your impression of my acts? Just keep going.

You're killing. Oh my gosh. Okay. You're looking up here at these big old tits and you're wondering, is that the only big thing on her? Nope. I got a big puss too. You can park in an F-150, a Silverado and a Ram in there and let Motor Trend decide which

is the truck of the year. You know what's sad is that, like these are actually decent jokes, like they're good. Wait, you're killing. You can't just stop. Okay. Okay. Oh yeah, my second kid is about to wreck the shop. My pussy is in the Twin Towers and these babies are hijackers number one and two.

Al-Qaeda, you done fucked up downtown again. I love America, good night. I'm glad you saved it with that last line because they were upset about your insensitive joke. But good job. I have to say, like the jokes are actually pretty well constructed. I'm upset. Yeah, I put a lot of time into it.

My second kid is about to wreck the shop. My pussy is the Twin Towers and these babies are hijackers number one and two. Can I use that? That's pretty good. I actually like that one. Okay. Oh, good. Wow.

Al-Qaeda, you done fucked up downtown again. Yeah. Wow. How long did this take to write this material for me? About 35 to 45 seconds. Look at this bitch over here. We got some tiny little hungry tits. Damn bitch.

You got a gluten allergy or something? Eat a sandwich, skinny little bitch. I thought I could just hear you in my head as I was writing this. Yeah. Yeah. So, just from what I'm hearing, do you want me to focus more on my tits? I mean, I think that's natural, yeah. And-

Talk about what you know. That's what they say. Wow. This is really great. See what I'm going to do? I'm just going to practice tonight and see if it goes well and then I'll let you know. Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, you know, you've been doing a lot of sets around town. I think it'd be great if you even said my husband wrote some stuff for me. Jesus Christ. Like, here's some new stuff I'm working on. I'm just pulling out. Yeah. The sad thing is even your bad jokes are pretty funny. Oh, thanks.

Yeah. I mean, not to eat a sandwich, you skinny bitch, or the yogurt line's great. And how about Milwaukee and Green Bay? See, those are, oh, those are, right, Dairy Towns. Those are cities in Wisconsin, Dairy State. Oh, right. Got you. Got you.

Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Feel free to swap them out. You want to call them Madison and Oshkosh or whatever. Sure, yeah. Yeah. It's a really good thing.

You're welcome. Anyways, people can see you. They probably, I'm sure it's already all sold out, but it was- It's gone. The belly's gone. No, no. I'm talking about in Vegas. I don't know because they give all those tickets last minute.

Oh, do they? No, but I'm sure the signup is already pretty full. Yeah, it's pretty done. You and Diaz and everybody- I can't believe you did this. Yeah. You did really great. When did you do this?

You're so funny. Yesterday. You're very talented. Thanks. That's not bad. These aren't terrible. I think it's so funny that you're complimenting it. Well, I can see good joke writing.

I mean, the structure's really good. Yeah. My pussy is the Twin Towers, and these babies are hijackers number one and two. That's really funny, actually. I like it. You done fucked up downtown again. I like that too. It's a little black sounding for me.

Really? Well, I don't say you done fucked up again. You can change the phrasing. You fucked up downtown and traffic's fucked up again. Thanks. Yeah. That's really special. Thanks, Tom.

I'm really proud of it, and I think you're going to have a great set as long as you stick to exactly what I wrote. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Why don't we just take a moment here, because our guest should be arriving shortly. I want to eat something real quick. After usually after, I know after a big set, I like to kind of chill for it.

After killing like this, I'm exhausted. Yeah. All right. Here we go. We are back, and people's big dream has come true. The last time was such a massive success. We never expected it to go. I mean, we obviously expect it to go well, but it definitely exceeded our expectations.

We have been marking our two drew list, as it is called. Let me show you. Since then. I've got a whole list of videos just for you. He is back. Dr. Drew the Body Pinsky is back. I'm so happy to be here. I'm so excited now.

Showing the guns off with a guest who you may introduce. Yes, my wife, Susan, sitting behind us. She may come in. I'm just mostly excited that she gets to see the videos with me. Yeah, so great. Experience these things with me. She didn't seem to understand the importance of the farts to you guys and the poo. Our kids at breakfast, our kids were visiting us this weekend.

They all came around because my daughter's in town, and they mentioned at breakfast I told them I was coming over. They go, oh, I'm so excited. I'm so excited. They talk about poo a lot. They do? Do you know that? You guys do.

Oh, we do. Of course. The show is about. We have a lot of things we want to show you. Clips that we've been playing since you've been on and get your take on them. Oh, my God. Some people. You don't understand.

I used to get my, I have to get prostate biopsies regularly for my prostate cancer. Sure. And I would sort of break into sweat just walking. You know, you're all in this office. Yeah. This feels just like that. This feels exactly like that. Like someone's going to shoot a fucking needle at my ass.

Just bring a load of explosive. Where's your anxiety? Where's your anxiety? I don't know. On a scale of 1 to 10. About an 8? Wow. Oh, good.

One of the first things I guess we'll get this out of the way is somebody emailed and they wanted us to. Well, let me just first say how happy I'm to be here. Oh, good. We're so happy. Good to see you guys. And last time I was a little disoriented and it took me a while to figure out what the hell was going on.

But now I feel like, you know, I know you guys matter and I've been out of your house. I've used your Tushy toilet seat. Yeah. Yeah. Well, that, yeah. Did you use it? Use it? Or are you just?

I just, it beheld. Yeah. I mean, I can really use it. I mean, the name. Well, I got a new one. We're actually swapping it out. Oh. The new one gets.

We've got to get dinner together. Dinner together. I know we did since we last tried it. You guys have to get a bidet. What are you telling me? We've got to get Kroll over here to test these things because he says, you know, cleaning his mess is like trying to take peanut butter out of a shag carpet. Yeah.

And so, so this would be, this could be really important for him. Yeah. It's very much like that. You've got to go with it. And have you tried it before? Yeah. I've used those things before. Yes.

I've used the, what's now the London of New York used to be the, I forget what it's called, but it was sort of a Japanese-owned thing. Yeah. Right? And, you know, we got into these because we rented a house for a year from a Japanese woman. Oh, yeah. They figured this stuff out.

And she had the Toto washlet. Three-fifth, not the three-fifty. But she had it hooked up in her house. Something goes up to a generator. It's so amazing. It, it's, it's so affected us that when we bought this house, we immediately were like, day one, we need to have those. I see.

I get it. I get it. So. You can't go back. And Tom, I'm just imagining, you know, you got, you got a lot of stuff going on up here. I mean, look. Yeah. It's a lot going on.

Again, it's like trying to find Santa Claus' mouth down there. Oh, can I tell you, Drew, he's been asking me to eat his scrum for the last time. What? What? Exactly. What a doctor. I'm so glad you're here. What anxiety here comes.

I want, I want her to make out with my butthole, you know, and like bathe, bathe it with her tongue. Well, you know, it's going to be clean because you've had the tushy thing. Is it really clean? Can we wait till she's not pregnant? Something very weird about it. Well, not now. I mean, I worry about.

I don't see what the holdup is. I could make a case. You ready? Against it. Please. And the case is that, you know, we got a homeless problem here in Los Angeles. And there's a lot of, you're saying to ask a homeless person to do a lot of fecal contamination of our water and that, you know, oral fecal transmission, disease could be really problematic

for a pregnant lady. And so if you just happen to go by one of those encampments and volatilize norovirus, get into your nasal passage, that stuff is going to be, I stay away from those places. I understand that. I just said, but that's one of the arguments against it. Well, that's the only I can think of. Otherwise I just worry about pregnant women. I just don't want them.

What about? What about? Hold on. But once she's delivered, game on. Game on. Thank you, Dr. Drew. Especially with your cleansing devices. I mean, what do you got to worry about?

And I'm thinking like, I'll just do like the squat and sit and get it over kind of quick, you know. No. Where she lies on her back. Over her. Come on. Squat down on her face. That seems weird.

What about antiseptics, sir? You're only watering your beehull. It's still filthy. Okay, we'll get some Clorox wipes or something. Clorox wipes. Burn him a little bit, but he's willing to do it for you. There you go. There you go.

Clorox wipes. With Clorox wipes? Yeah, burns, man. But that will kill everything. Well, he said I don't have any buttholes now. Does he have them? Does he have a colostomy now and no buttholes? Somebody call out your theory.

Which one? Well, I'm going to show it to you. Okay. Let's do it. Oh my gosh. Hey, dog cunts. The episode of Dr. Drew may have been one of the best I ever heard on your mom's house. So ever I do feel that Dr. Drew did make one egregious claim that I feel I couldn't sit

back and accept poop absolutely pushes out the farts inspired by his hot take and a claim by my beloved girlfriend Jean that I may fart too much. I set out on a personal case study to inspect my own farting habits. Even pregnant. You're still good with that. The progesterone's supposed to make you want to vomit. You know what I'm saying? No, you're good.

The best part is that we're asking a man who's so overqualified. He's so educated. It's all right. I don't mind talking to him. Listen to what this guy said. This guy said he goes after... Talking farts never gets old when you're a boy, a man. After keeping a detailed daily journal for over three weeks of fart counts and patterns,

I found an introspective study into your fart and brown habits can be quite enlightening. Oh, that's interesting. First, I found that I fart about 17 times a day. That's about right. Which by many standards is above average. A little bit. Yeah. Feels good to be above average at something.

Yeah. Even if this means I may be more statistically likely to clear a route. What's going to actually deliver right now? It's so funny because he's over here going 17. That sounds healthy. Good check. Healthy movements. All right.

Second, I found that after a fudge baby birth, my farts were relatively dormant and less agitated by food or another brown. In my findings, a looming brown was always good for several warning blasts until the log was dropped and subsequently cut by my urine. In conclusion, I can say with confidence, poop does push the farts out. No. If poop's out, farts get pushed out too. Come on now, Tom.

Set me up on this. I mean, this is Billy Jean who wrote in. Billy Jean. But for that, it's got to be true. I mean, this is a great advancement in the world of scientific clinical observation. I'm so grateful. Did you write your thesis on something like this? Of course.

Yeah. But maybe I didn't get into it deep enough last time. So maybe we had to go further. Which is that everybody's a little different when it comes to their farts, okay? Okay. I can't believe we're having him. What's the matter? I mean, we're having a serious conversation.

This is the best thing that's ever happened. This is bad. Just bodily farm. I know, but I love it. We have somebody so qualified. So here's the deal. Some of it is from swallowed air. Right, right.

And some people are very prone to that. They swallow that air and it really gets through. But there's other people that it's the bacterial gas production. Nitrogen is the splitting of nitrogen by the bacteria in the colon. And that's what gives the smell. But also, and some people produce the gas, too. So some people, it's what they eat and what the bacterial, sort of the colonic sort of bacterial floor is doing.

Right? And what that floor is doing, can it be affected by bulk and stuff? You got a lot of good bulk in your diet. You might be sort of quieting things down a little bit. But if your bowel is stirred and you keep it direct. What do you mean bulk? Bulk in your diet? Bulkation.

Fiber. Nutritic acid. Medi-butyl stuff like that. You're doing that all the time. I don't have to. I don't have to. Well, now with all that in your abdomen, don't you have to keep things kind of... I eat so many vegetables, my diet.

Tell him, for a pregnant lady, I take amazing dumps. I always tell him. Is it a good thing not for me? Do you have to eat her ass burnt before she eats yours? I've done it. Oh, I've done it. Okay. That's good.

For me, it's like... Yeah, but I'm cleaner and I'm hygienic. Man, we really don't. We sort of like, okay. Yeah. It's like, let's go. Let's go. What do you like us to do?

All right, what are we doing? I didn't say I'd like him to do it. He just did it. That was your phrase. And also, like, more than once. Listen to that saying, like, I did it once. Yeah, so she obviously liked it. So I think she'd return the favor.

I told her. Once in a while. I mean, this sort of my inner dialogue coming out. I get it. But you don't... The sort of standing over her sounds like you're going to produce something more than... You know what I mean? It's just even freak her out a little bit.

Why don't we start, like, in a shower or something easy? Well, I'm thinking maybe in the change my di-dive position, lay on my back, put my legs up. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. That's so... No, it's too childlike. I can't. I can get in the dog for you if you want.

Down dog? Yeah. You look hideous that way. I look hideous in all the positions. It's not a good one. It's what women put aside to love their man. It's just amazing, isn't it? Yes.

And it's not vice versa. I know. It's double standard. And I was telling somebody else. Both of us got these wonderful looking women. I know. And we were just like, what are they doing? What's the matter with them?

Well, I think it's like... I also think... I'm not the greatest at this, but I know people who are so... Some guys who are so far down the line on their physically so unappealing and they have these standards where you're like, are you insane? Yeah, why do you... They're like, it's offensive. Yeah, they're like, no fat chicks, bro.

I'm like, you're 350. Well, why does this work? It's so fat. Is this a biological thing here? Yes. Do you really want to hear it? I do. Yeah.

Well, it's that the way we've evolved is males... If you... Evolutionary biological sort of an evolutionary psychology sort of descriptions are sort of just so, right? You can't really study them because there's no way to turn back the clock, right? Mm-hmm. Where the people haven't found great ways to study it. So and please don't tell me all the different ways that people do study.

I know there's things out there to help understand this. So males have generally, because we don't have to invest so much biologically in a child, we can just... Drop and go. Drop and go, which is what your new anal plate is going to be called. Scrum master Christina. We tend to be more interested in fertility, fecundity and health. And so genetic, genetic, you know, good genes.

We're looking for good genes. Yeah. And the females also are looking for that and sort of have a different relationship with guys that give them the good genes, but are mostly looking for guys that can provide resources and stability in an environment where a child could be brought on and thus the house the fart built. Yeah. Yeah.

Safety. His last name means Segura is what? Safety. Safe. Sure. Yeah. That was his dad though. Yeah.

That's true. But he's much like his father, which is well. I do like his dad better than him. He's much better. I know. I know. He just texted me. Let me see.

He did. Oh, he just facetimed. Yesterday he facetimed me from a handicap stall. He was like, look how much room I have this shit in here. Where'd you get that? Where'd you get the way you are? I don't understand. Yeah.

Exactly. Yeah. Sorry to figure out. I want to jump right into this. We have so much we want to show you. All right. I know you do. I'm trying to smoke screen.

We're going to ease into it. Okay. That's what you said last time. First one up. I remember those words. First one up was in the news. You may have caught wind of this one, but I just wanted to get, you know, your take on it.

This lady who you may or may not have heard about recently in the news. Guys, this woman says she came from Florida to find love. Now she claims a man she's accused of stalking is her soulmate because of her superstitious beliefs and a particular number. Following the number 33, I used to wake up every day and every night at 333 was always 333. Jacqueline Clare Addis. 10, 12 news.

Uh-oh. About her beliefs tied to the number 33. Uh-oh. Now this woman. Yeah. Went from Florida. Do you know this story? No.

She texted this man who she had gone on one date with 65,000 times. I heard about something like this. And then they, you know, they arrested her and then she actually, they gave her like a mini press conference, which I thought was unusual, but. But why Tom? She seems fine. Welcome to the world of world news now. Yeah.

Yeah. Your show is going to become a major news outlet soon. Don't worry. That's what led her to a Paradise Valley businessman. She met on the dating app, Luxie. Then I find out he does stuff for the Dead Sea. The Dead Sea has 33% salt in it. The common ground between the two, the same birthday, convincing her even more that he's

her match. Oh boy. Do you think that something's going on with her? What's happening? No. Perfectly normal, perfectly natural. What are you talking about, Tom? You just told me you want to stand over your wife with your pants down.

What's wrong with this lady? What's wrong with this woman? Because I feel like the eyes are very revealing. Well, the eyes are finding patterns and aren't really there. Right. So there's a psychotic process, right? She's not connected to reality and there's sort of an OCD thing going on here. I feel a little guilty talking about this one because I'm going to give a talk on stigma

and OCD in a couple of months, maybe around the same week you air this thing. And so I hate to make fun of this woman as you guys make fun of her. No, we will. We will. I know. That's what makes me feel bad. But the inability to stop the preoccupations, you see, is just enrolls and enrolls and expands and expands.

And there's kind of a psychotic process to it, right? She doesn't even like sort of acknowledge that there's a problem here. Right. And then the obsessive compulsive quality to it and then the compulsive behavior of texting a billion times, that kind of thing. She's medication. Yeah. Very bad thing.

And that would regulate this. Maybe. Yeah. Maybe. The common ground between the two. The same birthday. Convincing her even. Sorry.

Court documents reveal she texted him 65,000 times. That's it? No. To me it seemed like more. Many of those messages show disturbing delusions of murder. Also, to process, like somebody said, you know, you did this 65,000 times and she responded with, that's it. I thought it was more.

Like, so she's not connected. Yeah. Not in this world. Yeah. And then they called it delusional. The newspaper just said that and she's right. This is a delusional. Delusional person.

Yeah. So sometimes schizophrenia can have a certain amount of OCD type quality to it. I was voting on that. But the idea that these, the newscasters are treating her. Like news? Like, no, like she's rational. Like asking her these questions. Like she's going to act rationally.

When they know she's not. Yeah. I always, I am very disturbed by the lack of sophistication. Yeah. When it comes to mental health. You know. I mean, it's like honey, have you been. Oh.

Oh my God. No, I love him so much. You just want to love him so much, isn't it? Here's the questions you would ask somebody that you go, have you been hospitalized before? Have you been able to manage work? Have you had, do you have intrusive thoughts? Have you ever thought that these things might be problematic as opposed to really you love him?

Tell us about that. Like, are you fucking kidding me? It's like, give me a break. Right. That's what we were kind of amused by is the press conference for women that clearly just needs medical help. I feel like I've seen the same look in an interview with like a psychopathic killer who's delusional and detached.

Maybe. I don't think you can see. You can't read a lot of books. No, you can't read. But I'm saying. Oh, I've discovered something called the uncanny valley. Have you heard of this? No.

Oh, you guys love this. Oh, yeah. So, and she makes me think of that when I look at her, which is that when this comes out of the world of robotics. So, because I was thinking about stigma and why it occurs. I'm doing some research on it. And I came upon the uncanny valley in the world of robotics and virtual reality. As you make humanoid, let's call them robots, more and more and more lifelike.

We like them, like them, like them, like them until they get really nearly human. And then we're repulsed. We get what is called the uncanny valley with this uncanny repulsion and look at her. She's like, she looks like human being, but there's something uncannily, like, undisturbing. It's like, oh, man, but we should feel bad for her, not just be disturbed. We should like, honey, come with us. Come on now. But we get this uncanny disgust.

So, it's disgust. Is it fear? Is it why not jump to empathy? Much like when my husband. That's what I'm saying. Uh-oh. Much like when he was. So much like when he watches a video, your theory, you're gonna tell people getting injured.

Why instead of empathy does my husband laugh? I am still to this day traumatized and confused by the guy in the garage. Yeah. The car where I know he had his legs amputated if he survived. No, he survived. We find out he survived. Does he have legs? Yeah, he has legs.

What? Yeah, he does. Do they work? I think so. I mean, that was the one that was just, maybe we should show Susan that video. I'm confused are the words that he said. Because I was traumatized watching. I knew it was coming and then watching it.

Yes. And then confused when the laughter ensued between you two. Thank you. It wasn't just taught. Oh, yes. I did not laugh. Yes, you did. I didn't.

I was laughing at you because your reaction was what mirrors I have. Well, there was laughter. Nonetheless, there was mirth. I was mirth. There was mirth and I was confused by it. Yeah. I was confused by it. Disturb made it traumatize me more.

Me too. And I was listening to an interview with Johnny Knoxville and he was saying, you know, they film his reaction after he's been hurt. Now, I think the audience feels safe to laugh because we know he's okay. You know, he's going to get medical treatment, even if he cracks a rib or something. Yeah. I mean, that's what we like the three stooches. That's male humor.

We like to see people get hurt that don't really get hurt. We got to be banging somebody on the head. If I took a mallet and banged you on the head and it wouldn't be just, oh, it would be, oh, we got to go to the hospital now and you might never be the same. And that's when my husband really starts rolling. Oh, no. Oh, no. What's happening?

What's happening? Okay. It's a parachuter. Better do something. Are these paratroopers? Are these the weekend? Yeah. Military.

Military. Yeah. It's empathy, empathy, empathy, joy, hilarity. What do you land on an alligator or something? What happened? Don't hurt me too much. It fucking hurts so bad. Oh, God.

It hurts so fucking bad. Oh, God. The scream is funny. The sound of the scream, the sound. Not the connection to what's happening. There's another layer to my experience here today. Yeah. Which is sort of like I'm watching myself a little more clearly.

And I'm seeing that I'm laughing at things I should not be laughing at. Come to the dark side. The brown side of the forest, I should say. I wanted the one with the... Wait, can I give my theory to Dr. Drew here? Yeah. So my husband loves these murder shows, like the first 48. Murder porn.

Interesting. It's murder porn. Is it? Mostly a women's thing. No, no, no. This one is 24 seven. What's your favorite? Favorite what?

Murder porn. No, I love crime shows. That's what he says. I like thrillers. I'm saying like, so any... I can watch... So you like the mystery unraveling? I like the mystery unraveling.

I like solving the crime like a evil genius. I don't know if you saw that. The Netflix series? Yeah. My kids are watching it. It's fantastic. Yeah. Right?

And it's you putting together the layers of what's connected. Yeah. And that, you know, I like the detective aspect. Why not like figure out how photosynthesis works or something? Boring. Why would a dead person at the end of it? I'm so fascinated by human behavior. Yeah, yeah.

And I've always been interested in psychology and... Well, Tom, to be fair, as I know you somewhat now, you're not interested in human behavior. You're interested in abnormal human behavior. That's true. That's true. Very abnormal human behavior. The more abnormal, the more I'm fascinated. Yeah.

But I don't know why I'm interested in that. Okay. Here's my theory because I watch him watching these shows. Tom's actually feeling ashamed now. I like that. I like the shame part. That's the fun part. That's our whole dynamic.

So I think what he enjoys is the gossipy element. And then what did they say? And then what did she say? And then he did that because in his house, he's got two sisters and a mom and they're constantly gossiping. So he got rewarded by that stuff. So that element came in. I love it.

You like gossiping? I love it. I do. I find that very, very common. Almost unheard of. No, no. Unheard of to not happen among comics. Yeah.

We gossip constantly. Super gossipy about, especially about other comics, about things happening in our business. Business. Yeah. Yeah. I almost don't call that gossipy. It's sort of like you love tearing each other down. Love.

Love. It's envy more than gossip. Sure. I mean, honestly, my favorite role in that is the listening. Yeah. I'm not a big like call everyone up and talk about everyone. Yeah. But I like being the listening device to other people's.

Okay. Somehow that seems better. Yeah. He enjoys hearing the story unfold and the drama and that kind of thing. Yeah. Like I'm not very good with details and stories and I know that you don't like that, Tom. Like, I know. And then what is it?

That's true. I do. Storytelling is a good skill, right? Yeah. And a good comedic skill too. And it's very, I have very different parents when it comes to storytelling. Oh yeah. He was very good at detailed storytelling.

Yes. And my father is horrific at it. Well, he just told the great story during his face chat. At least he sets it up, right? Man, most of his stories, I mean, he could be like, like his, the difference would be like the guy robbed the place and then. That's it. Yeah.

He'll be like, I was in the store and then my mom will be like, I was in there. I was in line. I felt this guy come in and he was weird. Right. The woman in front of me was breaking a 20. Yeah. She was wearing a pink shield. Right.

And you'll be like, did that happen? Yeah. You're like, why are you fucking leaving all this out? Like that's how he tells the story. Okay. Anyway. All right. Let's jump into the, there's so much.

Oh yeah. This guy is really cool. Oh. To get your take on him. I want an adult hottie in my lap right now under 26 right now. No frills. No excuse. Big titties and intelligence.

I don't care. She's a hood rat punk rock or any kind of anything. As long as she's hot and here right now, I'm a 37 year old dick right now. Right now, right now, right now, right now, right now, right now, right now. Oh geez. He's not on drugs. Oh drugs. Is he doing well or no?

No, he's doing great. This guy's got it going on. I'm sure, I'm sure top talks, she's like that all the time. All the time. Yeah. It's very healthy. I mean, we suspected that something's going on. Yeah.

He's kind of grinding the teeth a little bit and the, the, the perseveration right now. Right now. Right now. Right now. See, I didn't know if it was drugs or mental illness. It could be, but it's impossible to differentiate many times. Now, right now. Right now.

Right now. Right now. Become hypersexual on stimulants and some people have shut off. Meaning if you have the mental illness combined with a stimulant, then it's, then it can go on overdrive. Then for sure it could, but it's, again, it's hard to predict which way you're going to go. We discussed this last time.

I seems like we saw a lot of stimulant type stuff. He's really. He's got it going on. He's somebody to admire and emulate. Definitely. Definitely. Definitely. If you're going to set up your Tinder account, that's what you want hanging behind it.

You want to do it. I haven't visited this clip in a while, so I forget what he could. I think he gets into more. Five years and never having anything. Is everybody else gets laid? What? The gray-haired beers use the research on telomerase. Did I put it out eight months ago and then you just go with that hoe?

Why won't you go with me? I don't need that question answered. I need it right now. Right now. Right now. Right now. Right now. Right now.

Right now. Right now. Right now. Right now. Right now. Here we go. More dead people again. So, the repetition is drugs.

Theες. Severation. Thees. Thees non-sensical. Even at some of the times. That rhyming stuff. That weird. He does.

That rhyming. Do you see that allowed? Not allowed, but sometimes it makes me think. Oh, you know, but he's in real trouble. Keep going. I want to see. He is, okay. He's in real trouble.

Keep going. After three thousand dollars of getting food of wage at the homeless, I think I deserve it. I think I'm entitled, bloke, and I think that I deserve it now. I'm not going to believe in your God or any nonsense. I'm not going to believe in Satan either. I just want to hear right now, right now, right now, right now, right now. So he also, he also tied in his own behavior to deserving it.

He said. Yeah, yeah. He's been given to homeless people, but I'm trying to, I'm really trying to figure this out. He might have Norovirus. No. He'd be vomiting, man. I'm sure you'll have some footage like that.

Mike. Now, why the no shirt and why he said no, it's a common thing we've discovered on this show. We find a lot of guys with no shirt. Well, PCP will make you throw your clothes off and that's why they still have PCP. Oh yeah. It's still around and an MDMA actually is somewhat, PCP will do that. People.

Yeah. But when you go wack on PCP, the first thing you do is run on the street and throw your clothes on. Cause it's kind of a manic mania. Mania's throw the clothes off. Remember that guy who was the pony guy that down in San Diego masturbating out on the corner? Oh, you haven't seen that footage? Write that down for the pony guy, the guy that did that video about the, yes, yes, yes,

yes. Yes. I know who you're talking about. Yeah. And then the South Park picked it up. It was like, it was like change the world thing that he was severely manic psychotic severely and he was on the street corner screaming at everybody with his clothes off, masturbating. That's as is the custom.

Christina, what's why the way can we just make me laugh so hard that now she is laughing. Okay. I know she claims you didn't laugh at that. Seriously. Can I tell you why this makes me laugh? My mother who was mentally ill ironically worked for a psychiatrist growing up and we would get these calls in the middle of the night that, hey, one of the patients is running down the street called a pet team.

And so I knew from a very early age, like how that stuff and like it just, it tickles me in an area from childhood. I need to hear a lot more about that. But first this guy, there's a way he's sitting there that makes me think he might be lying on his stomach. And he said he hadn't had any sex in five years or something. Did you say that? Something.

Here I can tell you. He looks for me. I used to guys looking at that when they're like paraplegic, you know, sort of up on their elbows like this. And maybe one. I think I deserve it. I think I'm entitled bloke and I think that I deserve it now. I'm not going to believe in your God earning nonsense.

They're not. It's laying down. Right. It is. Up on his elbows. Under the age of 26. Because the telomerase research is the father of 35 to 55. The kid will have longer telomeres and intelligent more.

It's better. We need to get rid of it. Like we need to get rid of incest and pedophilia. We need to get rid of it right now. Right now, right now, right now, that's right. And there's one last thing. Oh, you only have a sexual telomerase abundant. You're just going to get stressed and anger and then make everybody depressed and stressed

and angry. As you roll with the guy and just go flying later in life, you have cancer. I want to hide you in my lap right now, right now, right now, right now, 18-year-old big kid doesn't matter the subculture. Right here, right now, and so can right now to go out with me on a date right now. Okay, to himself as well. Yeah. Oh.

They always give their address. He also put out a video that I don't have it queued up, but where he offered to take a woman to dinner and give her $1,000. Just to go to dinner. But he also wanted it to be somebody who was perhaps willing to have a family. With him after he pays $1,000. Yes. You know, who was I talking to?

One of the radios, something I'm doing, we were interacting with somebody that was like essentially a prostitute and she said a lot of these guys will just pay just to hang out. Yeah. This kind of guy? Yeah. He's got a lot of energy. I don't think so. It'd be hard to get that engine tuned down.

So what kind of male illness do you want to have? Oh, she was a borderline. Oh. And then later psychotic. Oh. Yeah. But we didn't know early in the age, she was. Has she, was she on pills later?

Is that why the psychosis? Probably. No, she became a shut-in. She. Oh, she got depressed. She got depressed. She got sick with cancer and then she slowly became more and more of a shut-in. Yeah.

No pills with that, huh? Must have been pink. I don't know. Doctors did that to her. Yeah. Some, some's doing. Borderline's entertaining. That's one way of putting it.

Talk to my therapist. Is that only recently came to know that that's borderline disorder? Or did you always know? No, I only, I knew 10 years ago when I got into therapy and my shrink was like, I have a theory that your mother might have been. And I'm like, no, that's, that sounds about right. Yeah. So.

It's surprising to have a few people really understand what that is. I was talking to somebody the other day. I'm like, no, no, that's borderline disorder. Oh, no, it's very clear to me. People seem to understand narcissism, but they don't understand borderline. Yeah. Borderline's a little harder to, to understand. I guess.

From the beginning. Yeah. I guess. You see it. Kind of more. Yeah. Apparent. Yeah.

And somebody can say something. You'd be like, see, that's super narcissistic. And borderline's are good at sort of dragging, getting you in, you know, they suck you in and all of a sudden the things start spinning around. And the appearance of being charming and normal. Yeah. Yeah. It's real fun.

And funny. She was funny. I could say I feel bad for borderline. They're their own worst enemy. They really are. Because their biggest fear is abandonment. And ironically, they push everybody. Right.

So they suck you in. They get you super close. They build you up and then they cut you down. So you're either, you're either all good or all bad at all times. And if you're all good, you're going to abandon, so they make you all bad and then they abandon you. Sounds about right. It's my childhood.

Yeah. That's why I was down at the community. Yeah. It's good. It's got to come from somewhere. Oh gosh. Oh boy. Processed.

Yay. Yay. So PCP. That's what we're thinking on this guy. I'm thinking, still thinking stimulants. Stimulants. Yeah. Maybe MDMA.

Ecstasy. Interesting. Come on, Tom. Hit me with a tough one. Yeah, what you got? Give me a rough one. Give me a rough one. Okay.

Hold on. Oh, what do you think is going on with this guy? I'm ready. I'm warmed up. Oh Jesus. Just the way he's, oh God. Hi. I'm looking for a white lady that's tattooed and dominant and be willing to put me in

a dress and beat the shit out of me. Call me. I'm the Sissy of Fremont Street in Fremont. Sissy Gemini. Again, you stupid white bitch. That's what I'm looking for, is a stupid tattooed white bitch that'll put me in a dress and beat the shit out of me. Call me.

22. I'm waiting. You white slut. No. I've never, you kind of really bunched up on that one. Yeah, what happened? I feel so bad. Is that a he or a she?

That's a he. That's a he. But one of the things was. I feel so bad for them. What? When he starts calling the. It was interesting because he started submissive. Yeah.

And flipped her like. Well, he's, he's baiting her. Is he not baiting her? Whatever it is. I was having empathy until he started that stuff. Yeah. And then I was just, it's just. Yes.

Like a horrible feeling in my chest. Like disgust or. Oh my God. Disgust and pain and misery and, and then watching her glee into light. Yeah. And feeling that way is really disturbing. I can't look at her actually. She's like, yeah, what?

What else? What else horrible you feeling in your stomach? Cause it's so hard. It's so horrible. Wait, wait, wait. It's so horrible. You're laughing at me. What is this a, is this a sexual fetish that we're seeing?

Yeah. Is this mental illness or. Well, no, that's, I don't think that. It's just a fetish. Well, I wouldn't say quite that lightly. Really? That's, that's not a great happy person. That looks good.

I mean, that's an unhappy horrible, horrible life. You think so? Sure. To be why? Just because he wants to be beaten and everything. Did you, can't you feel it? Yeah. It seemed like a normal guy to me.

You're saying that. The four teeth on the bottom, the yellow teeth. Can't be a good life. And then wanting to be, have the shit beat out of him. Does that. Yeah. But some people, is that always? Okay.

There's always in, in pop culture, let's say in movies and I've heard it, you know, thrown around by not experts that the idea that powerful people. Yes. The CEOs. Right. And I think that the age that, that provide those services will say that, that oftentimes they're servicing people that can't be submissive in their life. And this is just sort of the way they act that out.

So when they become submissive with, by hiring someone, is that they're unhappy or are they really just, is it a harmless thing? Cause this guy's a CEO clearly of some company. This is the president of Chevron. You didn't know that? I thought it was Brooks Brothers. I could see that. I see the button down shirt.

I don't know what you're talking about. Yeah. I'm not seeing an oil man there. Yeah, you really can't be confused. But it's more of the compartmentalization of trauma. Right. And so if somebody's a CEO is of a high probability of being narcissistic and all that narcissism is a response to trauma.

And then when you've been traumatized and you're using this pseudo self to keep yourself pumped up, there's a part of yourself you leave behind that then gets serviced through reenactment of the trauma. Does that make sense? It does make sense. And reenacting the trauma can be playful and fun and okay, it certainly doesn't fix the trauma. It doesn't help the trauma.

And sometimes you're re-traumatized. So it can make things worse, but it's all that compartmentalization of trauma. And this gentleman who we'll call a non CEO, there's probably just a big compartment of trauma that he lives in. Yeah. Yeah. He's sort of in it. Right.

I think that's true. Yeah. He sort of looks like he's never made it out to compartmentalize. And so the sexualization of this, he makes it a sexual fetish and then it's somehow... Yeah. Well, maybe he was sexually abused. A kid or something. Right, right.

Can I ask you your take on something that we were talking about some recently? I'm learning to read you guys and there's two things that I've got very, very disturbing. One is the impish smile, the corner of Tom's mouth that occasionally appears. And the other is Christine in which she's going, yes, then what, then what? I see you suffering. It's the best. Go ahead. No, it's the...

When you pointed out that I'm a fan or I'm very into abnormal human behavior. Yes, yes, you are. Do you think that that's disturbing? It does that disturb me? Okay. Because those are two different questions. Yeah, that's true. That's true.

It does not disturb me. Okay. I don't find it normal. Yeah. I find it a little bit worrisome. It is a little worrisome? I always worry. Yeah, I've had lots of friends that have been like that and they're like, well, I love

reading novels about serial killers. So what happens to them? It's like, really tell me why. None of it's ever borne fruit. I've never been able to find any sort of... You're fine. Any pattern where I'm like, oh, that's why they do that. And it just strikes me as like, why?

Me too. Why is it so dark, the dark side of the force? Why are you there with him? It's so disturbing to you. I don't like the murder stuff and the reason I think it's funny that you're not comfortable. He says he doesn't care about the murder stuff. He just likes the abnormal and the intrigue around it. I like the abnormal too.

This makes me laugh. I like abnormal too. It doesn't necessarily make me laugh, but I like abnormal. Oh, this stuff. I think part of this is like, I'm mad at my mom, maybe, or something, and this is a way to deal with that. Perhaps. Perhaps.

And then you are your mom the way you come after me when I start feeling bad. Oh, no. But I know you can handle... The reason I feel comfortable laughing at you is because you're professional and you know better. I do remember being exhausted by the end of last show. I do remember that. Really? Yeah, yeah.

I think I remember you saying that. Emotionally exhausted. I'm beginning to gather the same feelings. Oh, my God. Here's a good one. Oh, good. Thank you. Yeah.

Oh, Jesus Christ. Oh, poor thing. I just saw her first reaction every time. Oh, my God. Poor thing. What is she doing? She's rubbing blood. Now, I don't believe...

You know what? I don't believe her. No? I think she's doing that for some like business, like to attract vampire. You know what I mean? Some people that are into that kind of fetishy stuff. Interesting. Yes, I'm in a jade here.

And I just want to share with all of you why I felt the need to share me placing menstrual blood all over my face and what power it holds for us as women to fully own this part of self that we've been shaming for so many lifetimes. Sorry. This was some sort of acting out. Whatever it was, I didn't believe it as sick. You didn't believe it as sick. At first, I went, oh, poor thing.

And I went, wait, wait, wait. She's doing it for a reason. But also, it could be a thing. I mean, an attention-seeking reason that's dressed up as... It's like either it goes under either, hey, I provide fetish services and here's one of them. Everybody come get me. Or this is an artistic happening, you know, it's artistic expression.

Or in her case, it's a political move, things. Right. Through reclaiming the blood and through reclaiming the menstrual cycle, it fully allowed me to embody like everything that I was. It fully allowed me to have the freedom to be able to express who I was in every way. I mean, to me, this justification, this explanation for it, sounds like nonsense. Total bullshit. Total bullshit.

Yeah. Because she's just an actress. It's all bullshit, bullshit, bullshit, bullshit, bullshit. But I thought that the... Now, she could be borderline, right? Yeah. Because my original take on the blood was like, oh, that's bullshit. And then now she's talking, well, that's bullshit too.

So there's no real there, there. Oh. I'm not, I don't know her. I'm not calling her out. She seems lovely. Whatever. It's a world story about whatever you find on your stuff. People said it from everywhere.

Oh my God. Oh my God. Yeah. And so, it has that feeling. World Star posted it like, look at this stupid bitch. Yeah. By putting this up on social media, I really found it just, it kind of gave an invitation to people to be able to know that it's okay to share this part of yourself and that it's

not taboo. Blah, blah, blah, blah. Yeah. Yeah. It's bullshit. It's nonsense. It's nonsense. Whatever.

I don't know what her motivation is because I can't tell. Yeah. World Star, I didn't even put that together. World Star. It's so horrible. I've been, you know, I've been trying to play, I've been looking all over for it. Is it here? I wanted to play for him that other guy breaking his leg.

Oh. Oh no. Oh, wow. I didn't respond to this. Yeah, not that. Hey, so. Well, let me see it. I'm interested now.

They say what? So what? I was going to tell you, it's kind of a side note. It's, it'll derail. Please. I was listening to a podcast about the Me Too movement yesterday. Yes, yes. And there's a, you know, millennials and she goes, before the podcast begins, she goes,

I just want to give a trigger warning. Oh boy. In case you're listening to this, you might be triggered and I was like, where are we going with this? And I thought that, I thought we'd sort of move through that. Yeah. I've just, I've discovered, I spent some time with millennials this week and two, two big shocking things jumped out of me.

One, they do not use condoms. Zero. What? Zero. What? I was talking to the teen mom audience about 200 kids in there and I was like, hey, we're talking about the rise in STIs. And I go, you know, it was safe sex and I could see their eyes kind of glazed over, I go,

condom use? Nothing. I go, how many use condoms? I just raised your hand. Not one hand went up. Not one hand. Not one hand. I was like, uh-oh.

I need to start a love line up again. No kidding. Or there's a Snapchat page or a podcast or something. So that one jumped out of me. And then I've decided that millennials all have the Dunning-Kruger syndrome. What's that? Oh, I thought Christine would know that one immediately. Dunning-Kruger is essentially a cognitive distortion where you think you know more than

you do. Or you think you're better than you are. That's what essentially gives people the ability to get up an American Idol and sing like crap and then say, I understand. Sounded great. Sounded great. That's Dunning-Kruger. It's actually a syndrome.

And people have varying degrees of this Dunning-Kruger phenomenon based on their essentially lack of real knowledge because they don't know how much they don't know. Right? It's like a lack of exposure to depth. And therefore they feel like they know everything because they're exposed to the phone. They can find everything out there. Meaning no one's reading the whole book. They're just going to the page.

They're not having any experiential learning. They're just looking at a bunch of facts. And then they're forgetting them. And they all think they know a lot more than they do. So it's Dunning-Kruger. Wow. So they are sexually active. I mean, they're not just a bunch of Puritan.

I know. They're not using condoms. They're just not. And there's an opposite of Dunning-Kruger. The converse of the Dunning-Kruger is the imposter effect. People that have a tremendous amount of expertise often feel like an imposter. Yes. Yeah.

Yeah. Most people in professions sort of go through at least a phase like that. Yeah. So. Wow. It's fascinating. So our STI is just rampant. They're just going up.

They're going up. Yeah. What, warts? What do we got? No, warts. Everyone got that. Yeah. But we got the vaccine now.

So it's not that big a deal. Oh, that's excellent. Yeah. But it's, no, gonorrhea and syphilis go all the way up. Well, those are treatable, thankfully. For now. I mean, they're getting resistance. You know.

And syphilis is a shanker that goes away and then comes back. And surprise, you don't have nasty pictures like that for me. No. We're not into the medical growth. Yeah. Which is. No. It's confusing again.

I don't get that. You guys are anomalous in so many ways. But the syphilis goes away and goes inside. And that's when it does, it's damaged. Oh, correct. Right. Right. It'll make you crazy.

Insanity. Nietzsche, right? Nietzsche, right. Well, that's a theory. We don't know. I think that's probably a good one. Because he was always sick, you know, forever. And then all of a sudden there's neurological deterioration.

And what makes me absolutely insane. Does your audience know about your background in philosophy? Yeah. Yeah. For sure. Is that people go, oh, well, his, his philosophy was so negative and so disturbing. It drove him crazy. Are you kidding me?

That's never been a case of psychosis caused by philosophy or or a belief system or a challenging problem of some type. Mental illness. Yes. Yes. Illness, a brain disorder. So did you ever call our friends at PEL? No.

Don't bring them up on this thing. Oh, man. Whatever's going to happen is not going to be good. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, you know what?

I'm having a strange reaction. Yeah. It's not as bad as it could have been. Yeah. I thought he was going to lose his legs. Right. Because that car rolled over him and and that truck sort of metal hit him. He would have lost his legs.

But the scream is funny. Yeah. Yeah. I'm here with you. Dark side of the force. I've joined you guys. Jeez. It's a funny scream.

Without a single shit or poo or anything. No. This one's poo-free. Why is that funny? I don't know. I don't like it. I don't like it. And I look at his face.

He's in pain. There's no bounce back. There's no, like, I'm all right, guys. He's not going to say he's not all right. He's going to surgery. No, yeah, yeah. He's not going to say he's not all right. He's not walking off that.

He's going to surgery. No, yeah, yeah. He's not going to say he's not all right. He's not walking off that. So, that's a, that's what made an open fracture there. He's going to... God damn it. Which, when I add, oh no.

Are you thirsty? Oh my God. I want to breastfeed you here on these big nips. There you go. Oh, you suck me dry. Your wife seems to like it. Susie, baby, you know this one? Oh!

Come on, if you're thirsty. Is he, is he, is he producing milk? I don't know, but they're pretty nice nips, right? Can you lactate? Can men lactate? Yeah, it's called glactaria then. But I mean, if you're on certain medications... But you've also got to work on those nips.

You really got to get on them, right? Yeah. To make the milk come out? Yeah. Do you want to try? Wait, what's wrong with this mantra? This one? Yeah, what?

No. I mean... Something's going on with him, right? What's going on here? Something's going on with him. It makes me... I'm going to guess. Oh, I don't know.

But it feels like a gender issue, right? Like he's identifying with the mom and stuff, and he wants to be that. Interesting. And I'm wondering if he's on hormones, and maybe he's sort of making his way that way. And this is his sexual piece of that. Now, this is one of the earliest your mom's has clips. Oldest clips, yeah, yeah. And what have people been saying and thinking about it?

Just they just love it. Just gnarly. Just gnarly. Yeah, yeah. He's gross. He's gnarly, but he seems quite at ease with all of it. Very good at it, yeah. So he doesn't bother him, he likes what he likes.

Yeah. I don't feel bad in the normal your mom's house way. You know what I mean? Normally, I feel so sad for these people. But I noticed, here's something about myself. I can't get my hands away from my face. I see that. Because I'm so ashamed.

Why are you so ashamed? Yeah, what's going on with your shame? I don't know. I feel deeply ashamed. Why? Being here with you today and watching these things. Because I kind of know I'm... I know what's coming.

I know it's shameful. The thing is, I actually have empathy for these people too. And I feel like... I just think the behavior is silly. The behavior is funny, even though we have empathy in regards to these people. Okay, let's see if I can look at it that way. Yeah, the behavior is silly. Oh, see what you think of this guy?

I made this brief. My name is John L. U. Shipman. I'm looking for girls for pussy. Fair enough. I love to eat pussy. Okay. There you go. Free clothing.

If you're an effect guys, you're looking for some action. Sorry, please call me at 157 or text me at 163. To me, that's just desperation. Yeah, but I also think there's something interesting with the voice level and the eyes. It's like the voice is like this whisper, but it doesn't seem like he's whispering. It seems like that's his talking voice. Yeah, I'm imagining he's really fat. Oh, really?

And there may be like a respiratory piece of this. Oh, okay. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Like he's not fully... Because the camera is also... Right. I don't think his lungs can inflate.

Wow. Like that much stuff sitting on top of him. And the eyes are really not moving a lot. No. Well, I'm thinking that looks a little substancey. I mean, look at the glaze. Yeah. Yeah.

Kinky Motherfucker. Yeah, you are. I built a sex winged time machine out of beef jerky. What? Yeah. A what? A girl who can roll a blunt with her pussy. What?

So he said he built a sex winged time machine out of beef jerky. So now we're getting into... Sex winged time machine. Sex winged time machine out of beef jerky. And he wants a girl that can roll a blunt with her pussy, which is not possible. Psychosis or drugs? That's something to sort of aim for. Or you can try.

Yeah. I mean, Tom, you're into like, you know, goals in life. Yeah. Yeah. What do you want me to do? Oh, no. I want a girl who can roll a blunt with her pussy. I don't know.

Whatever it's called. Sex me a one-six. Or call me... Stereo doesn't play. Call me a one-fist. Bye. But maybe just like a really morbidly obese guy. Yeah.

Desperate. Desperate. Desperate. Yeah. That's the normal sadness I feel with your videos. Yeah. Oh, this one will perk you up. Hold on.

Let me get you something more fun. But the beef jerky swing. What am I saying? Hey! Hey! Spray that shit! So this guy's in Burger King. So he goes in there, he's really, you know, not good thing.

He's knocked over the cash register, causing problems, and then the employees take it the matter into their own hands. Good. Hey! What the fuck? I promise you. Put your hands on the table. You ain't got shit on you motherfucker.

Do it! Do it! Do it! Oh, that's not good. No. Yeah. But then... Oh, that's not good.

Oh, jeez. And he's got like a leg brace on him. Yeah, well. And then they keep... They came after him? Well, someone's standing on him right now. Oh, on his head? Yeah.

Well, he got to subdue the guy. Yeah. He's out of control. She wants him to get up? Well, she wants the guy who's standing on his head to get off so that she can tase him. She has a taser? Yeah. Uh-oh.

That was not a good idea. And then that was just a bystander. We got to slap him. What is the matter with people? She's tasing his neck. What's wrong with the first guy? Let's look at the... He's mentally ill, dude.

Let's look at the unmoved mover. The primary. Yeah. What's going on? Yeah, like what happened? You got the camera? Yeah. Can we drive?

Yeah. Can we drive? Yeah. Can we drive? Yeah. Can we drive? Yeah. Can we drive?

Yeah. Can we drive? Yeah. Can we drive? Yeah. They're like, Brace, what's going on? Is that mental illness? Yeah.

Well, it could be drugs or mental illness. Again, as always, your choice is hard to tell. It's a rule out. That's right. You've got to get a toxicology and see what's in there and see what he's like when he sovers out. But he's not totally normal. Wow.

That depends what you call normal, Tom. I mean, I'm starting to feel a lot of things to normal. I didn't feel that way about an hour ago. Spend a little time with you guys. Who knows where I'm going to end up? Oh, jeez. It's a little overkill on the tasing. Yeah.

He doesn't need all that. Now he wants to go. He goes outside and he just gets right on his little scoot-scoot. He gets on his way. What is that? It's like a wheel barrel. I think it's like a scoot for your, when you have a leg that doesn't. Oh, they either think of the scoot, they put this chair on wheels.

Wow. Yeah. Well, he needs that. I'd love to see how that happened, the broken leg. A couple really good ones coming up for you. Sure was skiing in the Alps, I suspect. On his holiday. I'm really, do you know who John McAfee is?

New Year's. Sort of. You remember McAfee antivirus software? Yes, yes. So this man became very wealthy because he's one of the early guys that got in on software viruses. Yeah. So he kind of got out of that business.

I just realized I could sit here and do this all day. Yeah. Oh really? Oh my God. I'm in a parallel universe. I was like, time doesn't move anymore. I'm going to some wormhole. I was afraid he wanted to run.

Honey, am I okay? Susan, am I okay? No, it's just not good. She's worried about me. She's worried. I may have her sit and watch. He got out of this business. Don't you want to see what they got?

The long nipples. Do you see that one? She liked it. She liked it. That was great. I got a first row view of her as that was playing. She was like, yeah. So McAfee.

I do like that one. Was bought out of his company a while ago. Left with nine figures. Yeah. Went down to Belize and has since been chased by them for a murder or two. What? Chased by who? By Belizean authorities.

They believe that he murdered a neighbor. I didn't watch this document around that place. In the midst of all of his time that he kind of took over the town he was in in Belize. You know, the rich guy hired like 20 armed guards, bought the police, you know, cars and boats and just craziness. Kind of crazy. Yeah. He also got in with some of the local gals on a fetish of his.

Right. And I wanted to see yours. Him doing this? Yes. Yeah. How weird is that? So here's the girls. Brace yourself.

That was my first time. I was ashamed. But then I got used to it. What did he have you do? He did sit on this hammock. The hammock had a hole. Oh. He put in a hammock.

And after that he lay down on the hammock. Then he, you know, he would cut a little hole and he would sit there. That's what he used it for. Because he wanted to have like Scott sex and I didn't agree with that. What is Scott sex? I mean you poop in someone's mouth. Oh! What did she call it?

Scott sex. Scott sex. Yeah. I thought it was just Scott sex. There's scotchments under this. The Scots are particularly. But what's interesting is so he would have these girls sit in a hammock with a hole and shit in his mouth.

Oh! I misunderstood. I thought she said he would sit in the hammock and get shit in her mouth. No, no, no, no, no. Now you're telling me. No. It's pretty clear. I understand why you kind of heard that.

Yeah. But no, no. They're talking about. Great gig. Great gig. I gotta just go over the fully loaded thing. Let's get through it before we discuss. Poof in someone's mouth.

Easy peasy. So make you shit in his mouth like that. She's cute. I've never had done that before and it was an experience for me. He puts his hands under your butt and he asks you to shit in his mouth and sing. Did he ever have regular intercourse, like vaginal intercourse? No. No.

No. None of that. That was the only thing I did. So his only thing was paying these girls to shit. Was he masturbating when they did this? They don't get into that, but I like it. That's an interesting question. I like to imagine that he was.

That would make sense, right? Because this is a sexual thing. Yeah. At some level. Here's the thing I actually wonder, you know, I have a pretty open mind to different people liking different things, you know, whatever turns you on, fine. How can somebody get turned on by that? I mean, get turned on a, how can they even get through?

How can they tolerate it? Yeah. Yeah. I wonder that too. I mean, how do they not throw up like instantly? Instantly. Yeah. You know, I mean, you walk by and shit and you're like, yeah, and how do you, or even

if they were going to shit on his face, he'd be like, no, he's like, ah, huh, here. How can he not get sick to, I mean, yeah, this is, this is what I was worried about for you. Yeah. I know. That's what I'm worried about for me. How am I doing it? It's my scrum you're saying.

And that's, we're not in a third world country, you know what I'm saying, we're here. Although these days this Los Angeles is starting to become that, but for real, with the sanitation around homelessness, I'm mortified what's going to happen this summer and the city is not helping, letting people suffer in the streets and there should accumulate on giant piles and then rats accumulate on those piles and we're going to have a big infectious disease problem this summer. Open defecation. Yeah.

It's a huge problem. Wow. Do you think that there's a probability that when somebody has a scat sex issue that it is? I cannot. I don't get it. There's an origin. I know.

I don't get it. I don't get it at all. And I, and I don't, it's not something you get into with patients, you know, at the level I treat patients. Yeah. What do you mean you don't get into? They don't admit to it or you just don't? This doesn't come up in any of this stuff I'm working on with people and so I don't,

I can't equate it with anything because I never have gotten into it, except somebody just wildly, you know, way out into sort of a psychotic state, which he kind of sounds like he is, right, running around, buying everything and sort of, he's, oh, he's whacked out. He sounds kind of wacky. Yeah. And, and I, I don't understand where that comes from. I had, we had on Love Line once we had a woman that called and she was a, she was a servant

for this kind of thing or whatever she was brought to essentially and she said she had a guy wanted that and she wouldn't do it. So he goes, okay, we at least put it in this Tupperware for me to take it home. Yeah. And she did. I met, we started calling, we called her Tupperware lady, ever after. I met a late, I met a couple who does videos online and they were, they were at a show and they were telling me about, you know, they do sex videos, you know, and they sell

them and one of their fans contacted, wanted her to shit and mail it to him, but also wanted her to stick to a specific diet for three days before. What was the diet? And she was like, he just made me eat these certain things and he was like, I have to do this. Was it certs? I don't know. But she goes, I ate it and then shit in the thing and he said her like, my two grand

or something. See, that's what I'm talking about. Is it that bad? The women are making money. Well, are you not that bad? Are you not that bad? Do you have a plan for Christina here? Is that what you're saying?

I love her. You know, send me to Belize. Is that where you're going? No, no. She wants the Tupperware job. He wants the two grand. You got it. I had two grand for that.

Did you? I'll do it for far less even. That's easy money. Did you see the Tim Horton's lady? Lady in the coffee shop last week? This sounds familiar. Oh, yes. So she would duke down for it.

Yeah. That was extraordinary. Extraordinary. Yeah. That was, yeah. There she is. Yeah. And she's really animated.

I'd love to know what she was finding about. Oh, it was about that she, they wouldn't let her use the restroom. She's sort of nicely dressed, which I think is a stare. All right. She's like a Pilates mom. And here she goes. There it is. I got to go.

I got to, I got to, I got a problem. I've got a little bowel. There it comes. Oh, Jesus Christ. It's unbelievable. It's great. And then look at this. Look at this.

Yeah. Oh. And then she wipes her hands. And then wipes her ass. And then throws that at them too. Well, she picks it up with her bare hands. Susan, you haven't seen this before? Oh, you've seen it.

Okay. I figured. Yeah. I'd like Rapaport to do a whole commentary on this. It was pretty good. Yeah. It was pretty good. He's very funny.

I just think I saw it on Twitter actually. Now, the readiness was what she had that bowel movement ready. Yeah. And the chamber? Yeah. Like what do you make of all that? That's why she needed to go to the bathroom. Oh, that's right.

So that's the other man. She's like, she's like, it's going to happen. It's you. Don't believe me. Here you go. It came out that this lady's problematic to this particular location. What? Yeah.

You're kidding. This is a person. This is a difficult person. You are. I am shocked. I can't believe this is a troubled person. I got to tell you, I'm really, I understand that. And I understand, you know, why people are like, you need to get out of here.

Yeah. It's so crazy when anyone is refused the right to a bathroom. I know. In a civilized world. My understanding is what came out of that episode where they questioned those two African-American gentlemen that were in the Starbucks was now that everyone can use a bathroom under any circumstances in Starbucks. That's what I heard the new policy was.

Well, they can't serve you cups of bowel torture and then be like, you can't shit here. I know. I mean, that's the product. That's what it's made for. Well, they let you use the bathroom if you buy something. Yeah, that's true. I also think it's. It's inhumane.

It is. It's inhumane when you're just out anywhere and you're like, I need to pee. Well, what's strange to me, not here. I'll tell you what, in this town, Southern California, it's not that bad. Most places, within a couple of hits, you can find something. Yeah, a couple of hits. You know what I mean? Usually.

But you could be in a clothing store. But in New York City, it's no wherever you go for miles. And they're everywhere. Everyone's got a bathroom. Everyone's got that downstairs crappy bathroom by the supplies. Well, I'm a seven-month pregnant lady. I walk in and I'm like, I'm using your bathroom. I don't even fucking ask.

I'm like, it's happening, dude. I dare you to tell me no. Yeah. What do you think of the video? I want you to look at this. There's obviously. Can you just strap a crow pro to Christina very clearly now? Because we don't want to miss any of this gold that's coming your way.

But I won't drop a deuce in public. That's not happening. You'll pee all the time. I had to pee all the time. Yeah. What do you think? We're almost done, okay? I'm having a great time.

There's a grand finale. Yeah, the hands are away from my face. Let it stay, let it stay, let it stay the lad, let it stay the lad. Cable lad. Cable lad. Let it stay the lad. So it's his version of Daniel. He's funny.

He's funny. Yeah, he's good. But there's some things going on with all that I haven't seen yet. No, you can see them. He's been to the sun a bit. He's been to the sun a bit. He does. His dentist brush every day.

No, his dentist. He brushes every day, yes. His dentist seems a little bit lazy. But there's also, is there something that you can pick up on in his lungs, maybe? Well, he's got emphysema, right? Is that what it is? Yeah. And is that a pen?

He's got to clip to his chest. Yeah, I think so. Or a microphone. And yeah, no, he, that's a, that's a airway obstruction. You're hearing that? All that sound. It is. Yeah.

You guys seem to always give me some of your pulmonary problems. Yeah, we like pulmonary problems. Yeah. Because it sounds so funny, right? It does. Yeah. Yeah. You should be a respiratory therapist, Tom.

I think that's the word. The job for you. You can pull out gobs of sputum and listen to that funny sound people make. Well, tell him why we think this is so funny, how the origin of the joke came. Well, hold on. I'll get through the rest of it. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There it is. I mean, this is a lot of sun, right? Oh yeah.

Yeah. Maybe a truck driver. No, no. I don't think. I don't think he's worried. I think he's lived in the desert. He's lived on that rock. Yeah.

I don't think he's started with a normal brain. Oh, really? Interesting. That's a lifetime of cognitive impairment. Interesting. Really? Something. For sure.

So like your whole life, you're. Not normal. Yeah. Yeah. You're like, no sunblock for me again. He did not get in the usual long school bus. Yeah. Oh, really?

Gotcha. Gotcha. No, no. But I like him and I don't feel sorry for him the way nobody else. He's having fun. He makes the best of it. Good for him, man. He's having fun.

Does he care what he looks like? I really lost my mind on this because my producer, Blue Band, sent, he names all these files. Yeah. And what really made me flip out is that he named. They're usually things like just, it says staying alive or like. Yeah. Closer look at his teeth. Yes.

But he called this one using lung infection as an instrument. This one. Saving life. He's doing it. Yeah. Yeah. Using Episema. So he does have a pulmonary issue.

Episema of lungs. Yeah. It's an instrument. It's nice. I did. He makes the best of everything. This guy. See, that's why I like him.

You're saying there's a chance he's a smoker though too. Oh, it's a chance. Yeah. That would help explain some of the skin stuff too, right? Yeah. Oh yeah. God, that really messes up your skin. Can you see like, he's kind of got to expect to see like tobacco stained fingers.

Yeah. Sure. Yeah, he smokes definitely. I mean, it looks like there's a little discoloration here. I don't see that anymore. I see a lot of that stuff. Oh, I bet. Especially with rehab, right?

Yeah. Because the smoking really ages your skin, man. Yeah, yeah. But it's weird, you guys. People would, you know, I've practiced medicine long enough to have seen historical stuff come and go. And this business of, there was a, there was a women's thing for a while, for a long while, where a woman's identity was, I'm the woman with the cigarette and the martini.

Oh, right. And that's, that's what, that's who I am. That's who I am. That's who I am. That's who I am. And those women hit their late seventies and I was telling them to stop smoking. You would have thought I was telling them to like, give me your soul. Yeah.

Like they'd start shattered. Like, how could I, I can't, you don't understand what you're asking. That's who I am. Yeah. It's my, my. Give up your belief in Christ. Yeah. Yes.

Yes. It's who I'd be if I had quit. I loved smoking. I mean, I stopped 10 years ago. But you did it. But it wasn't. But I liked it. You wouldn't have a, like a cigarette holder and that kind of Korea crazy bar.

I don't know if it's just me. I think of those old, those old, those old posters, you know, they're great. They're beautiful. And the imagery is something funny about in movies, I still can kind of romanticize cigarettes to pop it in and out in the lighting. The ritual of it. Yeah, you get it. I get that.

But at the same time, it's so bizarre. Well, in life though, when I see someone step out of the building. Oh, that's like, what are you doing? I, I've become that person in a way where I go like, I can't believe this person is doing that, especially with today's knowledge. You that you live in the world now, you're exposed to all that information. Yeah. It's a fact.

I was last night watching. I'm dying up here. Do you watch that series? Yes. I have to get to watch a second episode. Okay. Well, Goldie was up at three in the morning. It's just always smoking.

Goldie. I thought, I thought, damn, that would work. You keep you to use it as a stimulant. Stay awake. I guess she wouldn't have that anymore. They smoke and drink constantly in that show. It makes me crazy. Well, it's also 70s right here.

Oh yeah. All right. So emphysema there, mystery, mystery solved. We've come to the, the final, this is the one we've really been cherishing for you. And there was not a lot of poop today, like my sons warned me. That's interesting. We got into our own discussion of it. Okay.

Okay. You know, that was fun. But now we're going to see if you're part of the gang. Okay. So here. What was that? What did that say? Oh, you'll see.

You'll see. Susan, close your eyes. No, you can, you won't be able to talk because it's all in the audio. Okay. Well, please, we'll, we'll bring her in for her take on what's going on. All right. So this guy has some advice for just the general public. He has advice.

He has some thoughts on some things that are actually medically related. Oh, good. And maybe you can support, or if you feel so inclined, dispute what he suggests. If you've had any kind of erectile disorder problems, I'm here to tell you. Forget that bag or forget about salads. Forget that dick and plants and all that stuff. So I don't know if you believe me or not, but if you like to see me smoke cement with a small limp dick, then I get harder in the way and watch you harder and harder, the more

I smoke, the harder my dick gets. It's unbelievable. That can happen. That can happen. Yeah. Okay. Well, let's keep going. You want to take a video of whatever?

I thought a video was just a still of me. I just got to get your face for the audience. That's possible. That's what priapism is. What he's getting really. Oh, really? Yeah. Now, would you suggest to somebody who's like, no, that is not a treatment for erectile

dysfunction. He shouldn't smoke. No, he should not smoke meth. But what if they're like, I've tried my eyebrow and I've tried sales. No. No, it's bad. But it's bad. But we were shocked to know that there was some medicinal value to meth.

I say medicinal. It's a side effect. It's a side effect that you get erect. It's a priapism. What? I explained it. It's like a, is, is what my radio party is called clinical boner. Okay.

It's like it gets extra firm and can come down and it can actually cut off its own blood supply and you have to have operation to. And this is a common occurrence with smoke meth? No. No. Okay. But certain medicines, certain substances can cause it. Well, even the PDE-5s, you know, the Viagra's and that kind of stuff can cause it.

This guy finds it so important. He uses it. He likes it. Well, I'll help. Okay. You're gay. You won't believe how good it feels. If you're straight, you won't believe how good it feels.

Your dick head becomes so sensitive that you don't need lube. You don't need spit. You just stroke that dick head this up and down four times. It's, it's hard to do it and you'll shoot an enormous amount of very thick, thick hot white gum. Those are details I needed. There's more. Oh, there's more.

Oh, there's more. Yeah. No, there's more. Wait. Just when you think it can't get grosser, brace yourself. Oh, yeah. There's definitely more. More come than I've ever did in my life.

And I know I'm gay. I love to get blowjobs. And I'll tell you what, I cannot wait when I'm so fucked up and hot and horny on men. I lay in your face and get me a blowjob. Yeah. So that's... Yeah. So if we get hypersexual and all that stuff and that happens.

And you're saying like you don't recommend anyone to do it though. Well, Tom, don't put words in my mouth. I mean, how dare you? Why would I suggest something? You never say always or never in Edison. Well, here's the next piece that I think we both think are going to enjoy. My brother didn't believe me. But when he smoked with me, he put out his dick.

I can't believe how big his dick was. He jacked off in four strokes and shot the most come he'd ever shot in his life. He's only 49 and he's fine. And he has no neuropathy problems at all. No neuropathy. His dick is even harder and thicker and even more come he believes me now. So to recap, he sold us on the meth. Sold us on the meth for erectile dysfunction.

His brother was not a believer, but when they smoked together, his brother pulled out his dick and he couldn't believe how big his brother's dick was. And how much it produced. And then he jerked off in four strokes. Yeah. And it was so much. And his brother believes him now. And this gentleman is delighted and impressed.

I'm very impressed. He also pointed out, medicinally, I was wondering if you could weigh in on this. He said, my brother's only 49. No neuropathy. Yeah. Why the neuropathy brings it up? Because he must have neuropathy. So he's like, he's not like me.

He's not like me. Yeah. And with the neuropathy effect erections, is that why it's with diabetes? Oh, maybe that's why he's bringing it up at all. So I'm figuring he's diabetic. So to just summarize, Tom, diabetic should smoke crack. And those are the people that really benefit from. And you're putting your name on the line and the doctor do sample approval.

In fact, in fact, they get, particularly with smoked cocaine and sometimes with meth, diabetics get horrible problems with these, with the diabetics are especially prone to just severe medical problems from both. Oh, horrible. Horrible. Kidney's gone in short order. Is it possible that a study is due for diabetics smoke? Well, he did it.

He did it. He, you know, he could the medical community get behind. Well, let's go get him and let's get him over to Harvard and bring him over to the medical school. Do you realize we unlocked the mystery because the neuropathy line was giving me trouble last time. Yeah. We've gone over this for, this guy's been in our lives now for about a month.

Well, I'm so glad to hear that. I couldn't believe how big his dick was. Couldn't believe it. Now, wait a minute. And I'm assuming that's his source of his erectile dysfunction, right? And that's why he's saying. You're blowing my mind. Wait, what's the source of it?

Is the diabetes? Diabetes. And that's why he's so geeked to have a big hard dick from a little limp dick to a big hard dick. Now, what's with a thick hot comb? Why is it so thick and hot? Did my wife just throw up? She was like, yeah.

Doesn't it, it does increase the thickness of your. You're dehydrated from meth. Yeah. Right. If you're sexually stimulated, your prostate will begin to produce a bit of fluid into the seminal vesicles. So it's probably just a little bit more than, you know, usual. Yeah.

But he's stoked on it. He's just stoked that he's got something coming in. Well, so I'm going back on my priapism thing. It may not be priapism that he had. It may just be his experience of meth, you know. It sounds like what Dr. Drew's saying for our listening audience, try it out, you know, see what happens. We're going to have Tom try it first, see what he's talking about.

Well, it sounds like he wants to. He's so interested in this. I don't want your hair to tell you do anything illegal. I don't want you to do anything illegal. I don't want you doing anything you don't feel comfortable doing, so I promise you. If you can find anybody, you know, that won't get you into trouble. Smokes and meth. The more you smoke off that bowl, the harder your dick will get.

Your dick will get hard. We got it. So if you want to see me go from a limp dick to a hard dick, I will do it. Just to clarify. And I'll videotape it from just a small dick, very limp and watch it. Well, I don't know why you guys haven't searched the land for that video. Oh, what happened was? I'll show it to you.

I mean, you're a little disappointed when this guy posted this. Personally, we shared this and we really celebrated this. And there's a T shirt. There's a T shirt. No, no, there are two T shirts and a hat. And by the way, much to Christina's chagrin. I don't I don't I don't believe in selling the shirt. I don't just why it's four stroke gang.

I mean, it's a guy on math telling you to jack your dick for four stroke gang. I mean, it's the four stroke gang motor shirt and the four stroke gang golf shirt. I would say, I would say that this would be, these are sort of billboards against smoking crack. You don't know the male mind works. You don't get it. Well, Christina was like, no, people don't buy it. We had to reorder this one within two days and we are restocking this one now.

I'll tell you, no, I will tell you for you. Yeah, I'm going to Las Vegas this weekend. I want to proudly wear that hat. Oh, I wish I had around here. I would definitely will give you something else. I can probably go around him. May I explain, Dr. Drew, why I'm opposed to the four stroke gang as a piece of merch?

You you're exing out half of our audience. There's no woman with normal mental faculties that wants to wear a four sort of shirt. Really? OK, right. Do you want to? Oh, yeah. Hello. Let's ask you. She wants to wear a shirt in Las Vegas.

A four stroke. You're going to wear that shirt. Disgusting. You're an animal. She's not. No, she's been in this room too long. You see what happens to people? That's why I get scared.

My shame diminishes. I start participating with you guys. It really is. Oh, Christy, you're becoming a stand up comedian. That's what it is to be a stand up comic. I just want to interject. Excuse me. Christina saying this X is out.

Half the audience, the female audience. I don't want to buy this shit. OK, I show you a picture of the people. No, no, no. I just wanted to show you this. It's the dude's getting to wear it. I want to volunteer. Exhibit A.

OK, please. That a woman might. That she's a black guy. Black guys? They're like the fucking fuck good. If you're a hot black guy, and you want to fuck me at 2395. Black guys that love the fucking fuck good. If you are a hot black guy and you love the fuck.

Black guys who love the fucking fuck good. If you're a hot black guy and you want to fuck me at 205? Black guys. They're like the fucking fuck good. Do you remember the original? No, I don't. They love the fuck. It doesn't matter.

If you're a hot black guy and you want to. These are all listeners of our show, OK? They are? Yeah. They are submitting videos of the Try It Out guy who you covered last time. Yes. That's the, that's this guy.

They're all parodying this guy. Black guys who love the fucking fuck good. There he is. If you're a hot black guy and you want to fuck me. What's weird though, it's not as disturbing when the women are doing it, right? It's not weird, it's charming. Yes, yeah.

It's entertaining. But you try and tell me these chicks won't wear the four-stroke pants. Oh, yeah, they're fans, they're in there. They're going to wear it proudly. See? But again, there's always a dude behind that. Yeah, I agree.

There's always some guy going, oh, we could do this. I want you to, we'll put a mustache. That'd be great. So, so in a way, it's not their own autonomous decision making that results in the four-stroke. I don't know. I think some of them, it's a theory. I think some of them would even get upset

and be like, Dr. Drew, I'd like to know. Please write in because, because, because, because if that was your idea, young lady, and you executed on your own, slow clap. I go, wow. I will say too, so poor because that's, we're evolving then as a species to support. We are.

Oh, really? You know what? I do think, Drew, that our audience, we do have women that are that down for the get down, but they would self initiate this time. I want to know. I need to know. I will say this in your defense of your theory.

When I was touring last year, a lot of times, women would come up to me and go, my boyfriend said to tell you. Yes. And so they will. And we learned this on a level. I went to Coral, we just always go, because a woman would call with a prank,

something, we go, okay, where's the dude? Oh, interesting. And always, not 99%, one hunt. No, one time there was not. There was one time there was not, and we literally befriended her and said, you can't believe us. We had nicknamed her and like, you know,

we just kept her around because it was such a, it was a, you know, some as a unicorn. Just to further this, we restocked to try it out, which is that guy. We restocked the ball hog. My waterchamp hat sold out. So we had to restock that. And where's your water today?

Also, guess what? We guess what sold out? And you had to restock. You're not Los Angeles shirt. I love that. That's my shirt idea. A bunch of those are restocked in the store. Merch method.

I got to walk around with something in Las Vegas. We're going to make the trip worthwhile. It really is. I got a box of stuff. Because I'm going to collect, see what listeners and viewers can see what I got. Yeah, oh, you got, yeah. We need to know who they are and what they're up to.

I'm sorry, honey. It's going to be quite a week. They're great. God, I wish I had more in your part now. They're great. They're wonderful people. Very nice. This is such a treat.

I mean, I really want to make this a regular like thing where you come every once in a while. Hell yeah. Yeah. Make it, it should be on demand by your viewers and listeners. Oh, yeah. Because I'd come here every week if we're up to me. So they have to want it.

Well, we have to have the content for you. It takes a while to accumulate these videos. Last time I must admit, I was much more disturbed by the end. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah. So you need to up your game a little bit, Tom. Wow.

Well, I think the interesting thing is you say, Tom, but really what you're saying is your mom's house listeners. So you heard it from the doctor's mouth. He doesn't think. And I'd like to get into the anomalies, the medical weird and stuff. I think you guys would like that with me, because I think you don't know, you don't understand it.

I don't. But if I could bring it to life for you, I think you would have its own little life. Well, let's put a call out there. You guys have any medical anomaly videos? Medical weird stuff, STDs, and a weird, weird, weird, not just weird behaviors, but weird medical stuff. You'd be amazed, the array.

You'd be amazed. Not, you know, it doesn't have to even be as sad as many of your videos that start out with me sad. It could be just intriguing. I was about to play a song that was in this folder, but then I realized that DJ Skullvomit sent that song that was so good. Remember the one I played on my phone?

Yeah, I'm trying to remember it. Yeah. I'm immediately a fan of anybody named Skullvomit. Skullvomit, I know. Yeah, they're so good. We had to fart barf. Do you ever see that band? Fart barf?

Oh, you love them. They wear primate masks, and you never see their faces, and they're this sort of hardcore electronic fart barf. Jesus Christ. Look at your life. OK, this is called your mom's house, Scat Anthem. Oh, no. Oh, produced by Fart Simpson.

Yeah, so Dr. Drew, thank you so much. It's such a privilege. I love seeing you guys. Thank you so much. You want to say, you want to get us out here? Yeah, of course. I mean, what? I said, come say hi at least.

We, I was too enraptured. This, uh, give him plugs. Yeah, do your plugs. Yeah, do your plugs. Come on. Oh, I get to do his plugs. Well, you get to do it all. Well, of course, there's DrDrew.com,

where you can find all the podcasts DrDrew does. But thanks for having me. Yeah, tell us about the, I'm sorry that this wasn't set up. No, it's OK. The way that, um, you know, DrDrew comes in and analyzes these things is like a very specific thing. But I, uh, you guys have multiple podcasts. Yes.

And the one we want you guys to come on is this live podcast, which you've done already. I loved it. It was super fun. We're going to try to hook you up with Janice Dickinson. Love Janice Dickinson. Don't you have a couple other podcasts? You guys have to quit working so hard.

Yeah, I know. It's really hard to pin you down. Oh, no, I know, it's a mess. It's OK. I know it'll happen. And what's your, do you have a couple of your own as well? Well, I have one that I've done over the years with Psychic Medians, which you've also been a guest on.

And you were amazing. Actually, Tom hated it, but Christina was great. It was a trip. They were accurate about a lot of stuff. Did they predict that he was going to be a movie star? No, I don't think, I don't remember. You were a little closed off. I was a little bit.

I wanted to, I wanted to redo. I don't know why. I, I, I got to get, he was not digging it one bit. I was sure. I was, I was a bit of a skeptic. You were. But I liked, I liked your, the medium. She was very nice.

You know, they are. I mean, it's funny because sometimes you get great mediums with your guest. And I think more of the spirits were coming for Christina. Thank you. Oh, she's. But it was fun. I was really happy to have you.

It's because I have a better personality. And they want to come to me. All right, on that note, anything else? So all the podcasts. But our podcast, This Life You Live, hashtag you live, is our popular one with addiction and non-addiction, but more celebrities like yourselves. And then we also have a new one called Soul Patrol,

which is more fitness for you. I just want to show off the guns for a second. With, with. You do a double flip? Mike Catherwood is the host. And so Drew may not even be there like it's Mike's show. And he loved that video. He sent it to us the, wait, did you send the video

with the woman? Grabbing another thing. Pooping it. Yeah. The Tim Horton's shitting. Yeah. Yeah. I got that.

I got that feed from Mike. That's Mike Catherwood's. I got to meet this guy. Catherwood's future. I think I just did. Oh my God. I think I just met him. Oh yeah.

He's got, he's got some good stuff. Yeah. Oh, I love it. But he's doing a fitness and health podcast, which is very mainstream and we're really digging it. I, I'm very excited for him. Excellent. All right.

And then Dr. Drew.com, just go there and you can find everything. All the shows are there. And you guys are going to go party, smoke some meth in Vegas right now. Yes. Yeah. Enjoy. Go to a titty bar.

That's right. Titty. Oh, wow. You guys are going to live it up. What do you guys get up to in Vegas? I can't wait to hear it. Dr. Drew goes wild in Vegas. Does he?

Yeah. You guys are going to crank it, turn it on. All right. Jean, anything else? No, thanks for coming, you guys. My favorites. Yeah, absolutely. Actually, it's going to be funny.

I'm taking one of my psychic mediums to Vegas this weekend. On this trip? Yes. Oh, wait. I'm going to try to win some money. Ooh, good call. You didn't meet Rebecca Fehring, but she's, she's actually coming with me.

Have a medium. To greater advantage. Advise what to do, like where to play. And I'm going to ask her to tell me what to bet on. Yeah. You want to come? I'd like to give you some cash. OK.

Now he believes in it. Yeah, do you mind if I go when I come back on Sunday? See you later. No, really, seriously. I, well, I like hanging out with Rebecca, but I said, wouldn't it be fun to go to, I'm going to bet on a game. What's the game I'm betting on, Drew?

NBA Finals. The NBA Finals are this good. Oh. So yeah, give me some cash for that. Oh, there's big, there's big. These are game sevens that we're going with. Like our game seven is Celtics Cavs. So if I come back with some dough,

you know, they're the real deal. Are we at the seven in the, in the Rockets? Yeah, but Celtics Cavs is what we're going to bet on. Wow. What, oh, do you have any, any inclination of what you're going to do or no? I have no idea. You're going to put it all on her?

Yes. And. Yes. Interesting. Let me know how it goes. I've done that before. And are you going to wager? She predicted Oklahoma was going to win.

Are you going to wager real money? Hell yeah. You are. Yeah, of course. It's called, it's called real money. This thing, right? No, I don't think so. Although, well, we don't have to pay our mortgage this month.

So I was thinking maybe I'm just joking. You don't have to pay your mortgage this month. Way to go Drew. Yeah. Well, if you guys want to meet Drew, there is a possibility if you get into meth and crack and have serious drugs, he might treat you. Yeah, you guys need to meet my catholic.

It's so horrible. It's a horrible way to meet him. Anyway, we are having me. No, thank you, Susan. Here's Drew. All right. Dr. Drew. I love this chair, by the way.

Do you really? It's so uncomfortable, but it'll make you look good on camera. It makes you sit up straighter. I sat in a chair yesterday for a shoot, and it was a drummer's chair. Have you ever seen one of these? No. They said it cost $1,000.

It makes you sit like this, but it's comfortable. It's the weirdest thing. Oh, wow. It's supposed to be for your posture. Yeah, this is good. I like it. Even though I slouched down at most of the shows. Yeah, well, thank you again for doing this.

I listen anytime. You guys are my favorite anytime, anywhere. You know, you got some stuff coming up. We're going to try to come see you. Yeah, please do. So. All right, guys, thanks for listening. We'll see you next week.

That was really good. My ancestors taught me. I'm a horn. Did I just scan it? You're scanning. I don't need the word. I am the horn. Scat flight is going to be perfect.

Come on. It's not really a talent. What do you like best about listening to somebody scat? I mean, it's just like I just feel it in me.