Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - 466-Andrew Santino-Your Mom's House with Christina P and Tom Segura

Episode Date: September 19, 2018

We have found him! A guy who doesn't understand what face-farting is, so he needs a demo. OH, NOW HE GETS IT! So many of you wrote in to express your disgust with Christina's lack of loyalty. A few of you agree with her, but there's snitches in every circle.  Plus, could Tommy's parents have been any more weird about sex? No. An actual medical doctor listens to our show and he gives us the undisputed truth about air escaping via vag and butt. AND Andrew Santino, a fantastic comedian and actor joins us and we can say without question he is a hall of fame guest.  Pull your jeans up, but don't touch your peepee. 

Hey, what's up everybody? I'm Tom Segura. I'm looking for a rider die chick. She's Christina P. She's a government informant Let's get on with the show I'm very happy and excited to announce that I haven't added a Fourth show holy At the Merriam theater in Philadelphia aka fill her up Delphia, Pennsylvania This one So to make sure I get it right is going to be Friday What month

October no November Friday November 16th the 10 30 p.m. Show all the other shows are sold out So if you waited, you're now the clock is ticking get your tickets Friday November 16th 10 30 p.m. There will not be any more shows added in fill her up Delphia very very excited about that Only thing else left with tickets is is Fresno fart no

Bakersfield has a few tickets left and there is also tickets at fart Myers, Florida There might be also some at that Wednesday show in Montclair mom Claire, New Jersey That's the week of the Philadelphia shows so that would probably be the 14th the 15th is sold out So that's it Tom's a girl calm click on the tour page and as I mentioned before If you didn't do it yet a lot of you did thank you very much sign up for the Email list that I have there's a big email email announcement that will only be via email coming in a week or so That's what I got

Snitch, what do you got? Hey, excuse me Tom Bundy Tom Wayne Gacy, what do you got there before you tell your FBI agent? What tell me what you got? So I've added a show in man Diego, California. The 7 o'clock show is sold out So I added a 10 o'clock show at the house of blues And then December 7th and fill her up Delphia at the punchline I'm it looks like that shows about to sell to so we're gonna add a show there December 8th out of the 1030 show at the Grammar C Theater in Jew dork titties and those tickets are flying too So if you're thinking about

Going you should definitely get your tickets because I'm not staying longer in Jew dork titties I got I got babies and stuff. That's right one night guys. That's how I roll. That's it That's it. I've seen a pee online. Yeah, that's right. What are you doing besides murdering? I'm doing shows you know murder people after the shows you put together the case against me by just seeing right tour Are you gonna follow people? That's how they got that? Vince what was his name Kamuto? No the the rape the comic rapist. I may they were like Oh, there's a show in Gainesville, and then there was a show in Starkville, and then there was a rape in each city And it's cool. Like well, it just lines up with your touring schedule, man. Yeah, that's just like you

perfect cover All right, that's it. We're done Let's get on with the show. Are you ready to get started my dearest ball hog? You ready to go? Here we go boy. Oh boy. Oh boy. Oh shit, Blanca. Oh good quiet What's happening today? Ladies and gentlemen, welcome everybody from Andrea D pre in USA, California, and I am with a very very interesting Girl her name is a mistress kawaii. Oh, I miss us kawaii You have a lot of business a lot of interesting. Yes

But which is your main? characteristic your special your main characteristic Well, my main characteristic my specialty is face farting Oh Who is Randy don't bring anyone loving to this Welcome to your mom's house with Tom Segura Christina

Oh Oh Man can't believe you're not title telling on me for something right now Hey, it's good to be back always love doing the podcast Hashtag turn him in it's a movement on Twitter now hashtag. She's a snitch let her go That's the other movement. That's only other psychos would endorse Your side on these things. I'm just saying a lot of people weighed in last week a lot lot of crazy people missed it It really took off also on social media

about whether or not I have a ride or die chick and I gotta tell you I Do and Look, it's just you know, it's your choice. You let me know who you are Is it is it is it my choice to protect our children? You're not protecting your children I'm protecting our children if you suddenly start going on a murder spree because the barista at Starbucks got your coffee order wrong You don't think that I have a right to protect our kids and turn your ass in first of all I just got upset with somebody else. I didn't get so my family so I don't see how the two are connected Okay, because it's something and I need your help and you're like no, I'm gonna leave you behind

Yeah, you're right. Gosh. I am just a terrible wife. Well, that's the consensus Tournament I told you I would help you bury the body in cases of manslaughter involuntary, right? Yeah, but not Premeditated only if it's to protect our family. Yeah, and if you if we're hurting like a child molester or rapist Then I take joy helping. Well the listeners Listeners don't know what's the list reality. Okay. They don't have if they don't have children to protect Okay, the listeners do have children protect. They also a lot of comments and messages, but we also got a bunch of emails I'll read some of them right now, please. Let me guess. They're all gonna be no no wait. Okay. Look. Here's the first email

Okay, I'm wrong if someone harms family. I'm all for revenge. Otherwise run away and call the cops Thank you. Also sulfuric acid is used in pool maintenance Is that what okay? Just as coincidental that they mentioned that huh sidebar This is what they mentioned. Hello Tommy jeans and mommy Christine my wife and I were listening last week's episode and the question Our loyalty was brought up between your marriage. Would you rat me out if I killed someone? I expected my wife to carry the same piece of shit feelings as Christine I was stunned when she said that Tommy is a hundred percent right sounds like Christine's jeans can only Only become a certain amount of high and tight before she's the one that that the very vows she promised

Looks to me that Tommy is not only the water champ, but the marriage champ as well No way to really fuck that one up Christine Todd is the psycho champ is what he is more messages Hey guys Richard Keklinski aka the Iceman earns a well-deserved reputation as a cold-blooded killer But manages to keep his violent profession a secret from his wife and children for years Hey Chris niches, that's your nickname. What the fuck? Okay? These are weighted towards you in case you haven't all I needed this Sin is me and my girlfriend down to ride to the bloody end. Just me and my girlfriend. That's Tupac

Christina I cannot believe how you would turn in Tom. Fuck you Rob. See again. These are all my favorite email That's ever course. These are all slightly weighted towards your when you read the emails. They're all in support of you Let's just put it that way. I just I put this together and I just see what kind of wife and mother would I be if I didn't Protect our children from a psychotic. I believe the term is half-assed Wow Wow Hey, I'm I'm ride or die up until The premeditated I'm snapped because some guy cut me off in traffic. We gotta get in the second search a

Okay, who's gonna be your second spouse? Dummy who's not gonna fucking push back and give me shit your Dalmatian wife Yeah, she's definitely not gonna say anything. No, they'd be Dalmatian. My wife's don't say anything. No, I know yeah Yeah, they're pretty good Whatever look this is such a ridiculous topic. You're clearly About to snap anyways. Yeah, right? You know, what are you watching Ozark now? You're 10 episodes ahead of me Oh, yeah, I'm the only one. No, I like that show too By the way, if you face farted on people, yeah, you would kill them. You think so that was a bad one

Yeah, that's what I was gonna go. That's where I was yeah, let's get back to her. Thanks for doing that Wait, oh a burp too. No, come on. If you're gonna fart like that at least have the matches nearby I know I didn't know what was in there Face farting well Why don't I show you Yeah, I should get down. Yeah. No, but what what the moment is? He's like I love this set up This is part of that, you know, this is part of his arousal is pretending to not know what it is

Right Andrea did pray for her as a show called her. I don't know but mistress Kawai. She looks very cute She's dressed like me. She's wearing a jeans. I like her. She's got my same glasses. I wonder if she can fart like you I bet you she can yeah, she can Nobody can far like me. This guy's like I do not know What is it far? It's a face part and she's like I'll show you and he's and he goes like I don't know I don't know what is it Can you can you explain to the people that watching what is it? What is it? How do you say?

Yeah, it's very confusing disco red show and faccia. Oh Wow I'll show you a pizza. I'll show you. No, thanks. No, I have to go down. Yes, so lay on the wet Yeah, dipshit. That's the best way if you want to know what I do in my specialty. You should try it I want to it's real television to you very day Man, Italians, they'll fucking do anything such animals. Maybe not in front of the jack in the box. You think so here we go She got one on deck. Yeah, she's always ready mistress Kawai. Wow. She is fully smothered him So she's got a big ass, too

Three She just farted on that guy's face. He's smiling And he goes, oh my gosh, I did not know what you meant when you said a face part Now I see is that you actually a fart in my face Could you imagine having this job this guy's job? Receiving face for yeah, like you're gonna be reporter We're gonna send you out to the jack in the box and you're gonna let this chick fart on your face in the parking lot This has got to be just a joke set up for for the next video. Yeah, oh, you're right

This is like one of those porno. Yes. Oh, you know this stuff better than me. He's like he's a real journalist Oh, I thought he was I'm visiting America. I made a nice lady and she's like I face far. He's like, what is this all about? I Far comes in the next thing. He's like, it's a it's harder here She's like, yeah, show me Do you think she does It's very it's very dangerous these because they say that we are in war Oh my gosh, what did the congratulations for your your

Characteristic your beauty nests because you are a very very beautiful girl, but Yeah, do you think her dad? Hey, here's a scenario what your dad's looking Should try it your dad's looking a jerk one day And he's searching for the porn he likes. Yeah, I mean, you know how all the other subjects come up all the other Types. Yeah, is your dad and then like Yeah, it's his little girl like do you how many times do you think that happens happens all the time? Yeah, but if you're if you're the dad of the mistress mistress like you're like, yeah, she's dropping farts I mean

It's it's probably a different feeling than if you see your daughter in a blow bang Do you think that's the worst thing to say your daughter do and porn? Let's let's know probably it's double or triple But no, but blow bang maybe blow bang wait, what's a blow bang again like just blow job Yeah, but like it's it's when there's like eight guys standing around her. She's like Like looking up and the chef I like she loves it How much do you think you get in it? How much how much do you get paid for the blow bang because the agents got to call her and be like all right? I got you a gay normally. Here's the thing. I'm gonna hook you up normally

You know you get like 500 bucks for a blow job. Yeah Well, I got you 800 bucks Actually for more it's less right But if you stay longer and you blow everybody there, yeah, you get $400 Okay, because we're paying for your travel. Yeah But free lunch free lunch and yeah, whatever whatever you want to eat after I Can't I can't imagine I'm trying to think of what I would personally consider a way worse or is it the blow bang Or is it but what is worse to see your child do?

Yeah, yeah Who who who can see something about like? Dicks over the face and jizz on the face. Yeah seems really kind of degrading right seems seems I'm talking pure optics so But then again, if you know if there's two dicks in her ass, you're like I fucked up I didn't do anything. I did things wrong, right? So you're saying to me what you're asking essentially is what's worse parenting? What's the result of worse parenting multiple dicks in your mouth or multiple dicks in your butthole and Vigine?

Mm-hmm. I think I think I'm gonna go with the double penetration. I do think there's nothing worse And then seeing it then I think it's the most challenging of the things to do one part Something away from your face for some reason it feels like these guys they did something to your body But there's almost like They did it to you and it's not It's not on you, but the blowjob is a voluntary act. Yeah, you can just lay there and take yeah Right and be like it was terrible. Yeah, but if you're like And she and she's going from one to the next around the circle

You know who and then every guy's like hold on here good And then she has to like let it go on the and then then do the big smile. Yeah That's the worst part is that she's got to act like she's like mmm. I want it all mmm all the calm And then some creeps like how was today like a bit? Oh, yeah, that's so much fun Yeah, you like suck on sticks. Yeah Awesome I have a good time. Yeah, she has to pretend like it was the best. Oh my god. You guys are so disgusting Like it's the best day of her life was sucking all those guys off

Okay, so here's the thing though. Speaking of I would rather do the fart face I would do face farts all day over any of the other stuff important if I had to pick a lane What is that? What do you see I don't know. Yeah, I don't understand. Yeah, he knows what it is. He's definitely That's what it is. He ain't that dumb. I am very excited about it. He ain't too dumb for face farts now speaking of too dumb to come Yeah That's also been very popular big big issue on our show and we got this message I think I found the right photo for the not too dumb to come shirts cool

Hope you find this useful your ride or die Chris rude There it is And there's forest and he's got his eyes slightly closed. It looks like he's jizzing. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, there you go. He's playing ping-pong. Good job forest. Yeah, he's even got a dumb haircut, you know I was just thinking that I've done that here. It's the dumb person's cut. Yeah. Yeah There's a certain look. What kind of look well dumb people have a certain Hmm Sure air wise sure sure sure sure

Strictly hair FGT kind of an RTD No, I got some bad submissions for FGT RTD got a bad bite Yeah, people were like doing things like oh, it's FTD our GT like dude. Look at look at the letters first before you submit So, oh, where's that one? I wanted to pull up this to you Hate if our kids said porn but first I mean it's just as bad if your son does it then if your little girl does it, right? So do you remember our doesn't even answer me. Sorry say it again. What's way worser what your son doing porn or your girl doing Porn well everybody always assumes That it means that you go. Oh, it's worse than my daughter is doing porn

But I don't think I think it's kind of jokie to be like I'm really thrilled that my son's doing porn I don't think that really have I don't think a parent of a guy is stoned like dude. It's great Like my kid fucks a lot I mean like I don't think that conversation really happens But it is there more of a commodity in this business because they're so rare a guy that can do that on command is That's a talent. It's a talent, but I still don't think the parents are like it's really great We're probably not what our kid fell into that's definitely know how he can get hard all the time And now he gets to show people and come on command. Yeah, that's a bigger talent comes a lot

And he comes when we need him to write it was bigger talent than that guy that's claps and slaps is Actually, it is a bigger. It is. Yeah, it's kind of should be a little more celebrated Yeah, but I think it makes for a lot of probably conversations that you know I think there's a lot of parents in that's in that position to probably go like he's a he paints. He's Taking pictures the performance artist in LA. Yeah, no, he's done some acting But he really he he actually making furniture and he loves it. They're doing stuff like that. Yeah, they're not like He's rock hard when you need him to be Yeah, I wonder if Rocco's a Freddy's parents were they proud of him

Well, didn't his dad die his mother died when he was younger, I think no his dad died when he was All right, and the mother was alive and then when his mom died He went over to his mom's best friend's house and put his dick in her mouth and came immediately right and ran away in shame, right? Yeah, yeah, just what anybody does when they're grieving and then greaves differently when his mom saw a Masturbating when he was yeah, she winked at him and smiled. Oh wow that kind of and he was like this is great He's this is a good thing on the right path here. Yeah, is that what your mom did when she found you? Nope. No my parents Really were so fucking weird about sex. Yeah, they kind of are thing. Yes. I think looking back you go You know when if you try to like analyze your parents

You realize they're just people. Yeah, you know, they're just people out there And in most cases people are doing the best they can in most cases. Yeah I mean, you know, most people's parents are doing the best they can Some people are neglectful and shitty. I'm trying to say right and that's the best. Yeah, but I'm saying like in my parents case They're not neglectful and shitty. No, they're doing the best they can but I think that there was you know, they were so Uncomfortable with just I think my dad would have been a little different about it if he hadn't been with my mom Who was much more so an old school Catholic? It's the Catholicism South American breed of it where it's it's it's kind of heightened. I mean she did boarding school with the nuns

You know, it's like, yeah, dude. I'll tell you and listen. I wasn't raised religious. My parents were communists They weren't coming but they were raising communist countries. Yeah, so when we came to the States were Catholic by tradition But not by practice. I didn't get weird about sex until I went to Catholic high school middle the Catholics will do it. I don't think I stopped feeling guilty about it until I got married I mean, and that's like not even from my home. That's just from school like stuff that I picked up Did my parents were like my if my mom saw like a woman in bikini. She's like are you watching pornography? Seriously, so I would be like, oh my god, like I thought just a woman's a body Right, you shouldn't be like that's nice. You know, it's changed. It's changed in ladder

Like, you know, like as become adults, it's not as weird, but when we were kids Oh my god, but no, I'm gonna feel everything is porno like a woman's legs porno is a leggy porno is a face a farting porno. I remember asking my dad I mean think about it now. It's also just a change in culture like the way people talk to their kids now Yeah, you know, but I asked him if he masturbated when I was a kid because I was sorry sure and he goes no I go, did you ever masturbate? He goes one time. I go one time Yeah, when I was 16, I go what happens like that's it So I just went in my room like fuck

Yeah, you're the weirdo. You feel like a real weirdo now. That's the kind of stuff talking about where you're like, what the fuck man It's not good. Mm-hmm. It's not good for kids. And then I tried to bring it up again I told you that right where I came out of the shower. Yeah, and I didn't know how to talk. I was like 10 like So kind of talk to you was like, yeah, and you know, you could tell it when it's hard for a kid to say something You know, I was taking a shower. I remember this like it was yesterday. I was taking a shower and I was washing, you know, my privates and All this stuff came out and then he goes next time don't wash there so long I was like, all right

That was it and that was your big that was that was the comfort I was like, I'm trying to talk to you about this and not feel weird about it Right, right. He was like, yeah, you don't want to do that. Just walk. What it puts on TV. Let's watch the football game Yeah, I don't but that's the hang-up about sex and I have to say after having two babies You really realize that it's just a part of the bigger picture of human reproduction. It's really not You know, my my boobs are food for somebody right now My badge was a portal for some for two people to come into this planet. Thank you The you know, I mean, it's not it's no mystery. I were definitely sexuality. It's like what the fuck? I would have a whole different

Psyche about this if I was raised differently Yeah, I probably wouldn't find sex stuff as funny as I because it's so taboo so taboo deep like it's in my brains DNA right that you know, well cuz I had the opposite my parents were Oversexed and it was so open all the time. We talked about sex You know, my mother wanted to teach me and I was reading books about it when I was like in third grade She'd show me her edible underwear and her disgusting sex toys and stuff like it was almost too much for me It was over stimulation to our neck now. I'm totally not I don't care. I'm like, oh, well, that's a body. They fuck Yeah, but I wonder where we both got our love of poop stuff from that's a difference to my dad

Champion that that's true. Yeah, my dad's big and I tell you like I didn't think it was I wasn't like this is awesome But I did react. I loved more. This is upset my mom. Yeah, that's that was the That was more the draw of it to me. Yeah, was that he was he would be like taking shit And he'd be like, yeah, he get all excited. I was like, yeah, I wouldn't be like as excited as he was But then she will be so upset. I was like, this is pretty good stuff because it makes mom mad makes mom mad. Yeah Yeah, yeah, it makes one man. We just talked about shitting a lot in my house. It was just constant Every day you just went to a shit you talked about it after yeah, no He a hundred percent every day. Yeah, still how did you take a shit?

It was a good shit. Yeah, I gotta tell you I had kind of Kind of sloppy Every day. Yeah, my mother liked poop stuff and fart stuff. It was actually my mom. That's hilarious Yeah, she loved it. She's always she my mother had a kind of what you would consider a low-brow sense of humor surprise And she liked like and they call it like a podcast humor and Hungarian like a farmer Uh-huh, and I think that's totally where I get it from and my dad to like Cheech and Chong and Eddie Murphy and you know We're not highfalutin folks over at the Pajitsky's we're now definitely fucking dirt dogs Speaking of this topic do you want to we actually had our question answered about queef versus fart debate? No, there's no I've answered

No, no the debate the debate was answered by a doctor for all good your life. Yeah, so a doctor the cock-dock reiterate, what's the question again that if I The question was you I think you posed the question you said is it a Queef right if it comes from your ass or is it definitely away from but sex? Yeah, so we're like is it if there's air if there's air pushed in during anal sex When it escapes is that a fart? I'm sorry x scapes when it x scapes is that a fart? And I thought it was not and I think you said well look it's a butthole. So when anything any air comes out

It's a fart this is well or it's definitely not a queef because a queef comes from the vijine. I get what you're saying So let's do what the doctor says it's another category. This is a practicing Urologist, I can't believe it. I can't believe doctors listen to the show I know and this guy has messaged me and and I've messaged we've sent messages to each other and he's a real doctor People way smarter than us are allowed me to settle your queef versus fart debate definitively. Thank you This comes down to definitions. Oh, you might be right Jane. Okay, a queef is a vaginal expulsion of air Your e-mailer was raising the question of whether or not it matters what the origin of source of said air is

But the answer is that it doesn't matter and here's why Sex is not the only source of queefs and not all queefs are expulsions of air that has been forced inside For examples, there are diseases that can result in the formulation in the formation of a fistula Which is an abnormal connection between two hollow organs a Colovaginal fistula is an abnormal connection between the colon and the vagina This can result in gas from the colon being expelled through the vagina. What it's crazy Even though the gas is a byproduct of regular digestion Since it's expelled via the vagina. It's technically a queef air coming out of the vagina

Likewise air forced into the rectum during anal intercourse that subsequently expelled is a fart Because farting is the expulsion of air through the anus regardless of its source of origin Sorry, Tom Christina is right. By the way Huge congrats to Christina for queefing out that baby. You got it. Also, please add some tampon Florida dates so we can come out and see you guys This is the keep those jeans high and tight dr. Pecker checker MD This guy really a doctor. He really is just some guy in Florida. I promise you I promise you While we're on the subject of farts need a way in do parts do farts push the shit out or do browns push the farts out The answer is that it's both. There's only so much space inside the intestines. Everything is propelled all together by the muscle action

It's possible that air can filter around the browns, but the browns and farts are both pushed along By what Paris? Stalysis and thus traveled together teamwork makes the dream work people This guy sent me photos from his practice of stuff that would just make your eyes water So we see them can we see them we could see them? I don't know if I should I mean you can't I'm sure you can't brought I guess we could under the like Hey, we're studying medicine here, but okay I mean we're talking like disease dick. I'd like to see a disease dick. Really? Yeah, okay?

Well, let me set it up. Maybe I'll set it up for when our sure sure sure. Yeah, we could show our guest What a neat idea. I can't believe it. So farts push the shit out Oh, this is me. I wanted to push as a farts out, too You're not even gonna marvel at this revelation. It's absolutely fantastic. Thank you dr. Cock-Dock. I'm just saying that from my whole life I thought farts push the shit out and then dr. Drew came by and he said it was what do you say neither? Yeah, he was like, oh No, no, no, no, they happen

Irrespective of one another and now this guy's saying it's both so it's like blowing my mind It's like when you find out that light is both wave and particle, you know what I'm saying? Yeah No, I know what you're saying pretty exciting stuff. Well, I I guess I did think that Shits push the farts out, you know, I thought the farts push the shit out I thought my mom was right about that. Hmm because she would always well for those We don't know my mother would say whenever I would ever write fart and I'd be like, ah guy farted She'd be like be grateful for the farts because farts push the shit out Without the farts, there is no shit. Wow. Yeah, in a way, she's right

Our guests is here. Should we go get him? Yeah. Yeah, and there's some really important stuff. I want to get to I Mean that I'm serious really important. No, this is good stuff like really important Yeah, okay. All right. Well, you're right back Jean Yeah We're here. You sound different there, Tom. Thank you. That's the guy that can't stop coming That's right comes at his dad's funeral a hundred times back in the news. No, you would not believe stop it So I was prepping today and what happened was our producer thought we were recording tomorrow Yeah, so usually it sends me a folder of all these files of things to play

So he messaged me. He's like I fucked up. I'm sorry So I'm like pulling stuff on my own and it's not the same because it's like, you know It's usually organized and I just hit a button and it plays So I'm going through emails and I see this thing about this this is probably like the episode that I would say At least early on best to find our shows. Yes, we did a huge segment on this guy When you're on your knees at your father's funeral at his casket And you're saying goodbye to him And then you have nine orgasms

Right there By your whole family is standing behind you She never want to have another orgasm as long as you live Just keep on And it was like a documentary like thing they did on this guy who has this condition where he just comes all day every day And it's ruined his life, but he orgasm he doesn't come doesn't come right every time no, but every but he's it's the ability He's like can't go to like my kids soccer games Like I'm like go and then I just like you just orgasm and he's got erections all the time

And he feels it was horrible. He's like I feel bad being around my kids because I'll just start orgasming as I'm looking at my kids And and he's like, you know, I can't I can't I feel like an asshole if I'm ordering dinner and I come and like Nothing but orgasm. What's the name of the condition? Oh, man. It's probably in this it's like multiple orgasm syndrome or something It's too clean. That's gotta be it's gotta be a funnier Persistent genital arousal disorder. That's right. Oh, yes Yeah, I just remember that I talked about it in my last special Persistent general arousal disorder. Yeah. Yeah, so it's there. Are there a wealth of people like this on the not a wealth But there are certainly I mean there's definitely more than one it's it's and they've had you know

There was one last year. It was in the news this woman was hospitalized and she was like It just keeps like, you know, but this guy's he was so sad which made it so funny because you tell the Suffering was the funny at his father's funeral. It's just coming. He's just like That's what dad would have wanted. That's what dad would have wanted. I Just had nine Rather powerful Orgasmic sensations full through my entire body. Yeah, so Yeah, he would have shit like coming at your parents funeral. So do you want to hear the big news?

Could I imagine I'm planning on it? Here's the big news. Okay. Yeah, this guy was profiled on our we were obsessed with this guy This is a few I mean a number of years ago. I haven't really I had to go back through these drops to find them It's like It's in the first like 100 audio things we pulled, you know, so it's like it's back in the day Okay, here's why he's back in the news Oh, oh Yes, no, it's like he's following our show

Yep, well what that is is he wants to feel what it's like to come as a woman This guy coming is only so fun now. She only climaxes eight times daily So I guess it knocked it down a notch. So oh, maybe that's I don't know if that's part of the reason Maybe it is how could it not knock out? He was like, I'm tired of coming. Yes transition. He looks tired He looks like this is just drained. I Gotta say when he was a man, that's a bad haircut, but can I tell you I love that guy's haircut? I think that's such a fun guy the Lord Christmas. Yeah The bangs are always bad. We were just talking about dumb haircuts like it's just you look dumb

It's the same hair over there, but it's not bad. He actually transitions fairly well. Yeah Yeah, I've definitely fucked that chick. You really right? Yeah, I'd fuck that shit Yeah, many years ago in a bar or something a dark bar somewhere But that's so so that not having the testosterone knocked down the orgasm number to only eight per day Only eight a day. Do you know how much how much coming that is? I know but that's so much come so much come but now he doesn't come anymore like jizz. I mean I mean, let's see. I need more information the transgender mother of two hit headlines having the hundred orgasms a day Here look look. I nailed it persistent general rousal syndrome. Okay, Christine Decker

Two rivers, Wisconsin ultra rare condition An accident triggered the illness. What's her name now? Christine Christine River's if you're out in I'll be in Madison, Wisconsin Oh, it's a great club. It is a great. Have you been there? Yeah. Oh, it's the fucking best club I'm just I'm going there until we introduce our guest first of all. Oh, that's probably good I just keep it keep it keep it. We have with us the fantastic Andrew Santino. Hello. Hi. Thank you for having me You know, I am such a fan of I'm dying You're such a great actor We've known you for years and I'm so happy for all your success. I'm so glad you're here. Thank you

That's him right there. Yes. Have an orgasm. That's him collapse. Back to the most important way. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah back to coming So wait when he walks if he comes he has to like brace himself. Well, sometimes it just it just it just floors him By the way, you know, I said I've never had an orgasm that good My coms are just fine. Everything's fine. Yeah, all right, and they're unprompted No, there's nothing like when you're you were a diaper. That's a good question. How does he see he's got a set? You can't just rip through underwear. That's just I feel like he's out of come. I mean like yeah, it's all gone. Yeah, it's all gone. Yeah, there's no more

He can't come every time. No, but He gets the feeling every time like here. This this is actually this is the audio from this moment. Yeah Yeah, I remember that How old is she now oh it says 30 To receive remains married to a devoted wife April 36. No, so that's Chris Chris 40 Christine's 40 I think it said so so yeah, so her wife stuck it out was a real G right and we watched We watched an entire series on this called lost in transition about people that have been married for like 15 years Have children and then the husband is like guess what I'm a lady

What is it and they don't it's really hard to stay together But the women try yeah, the women though the woman here is sort of a ride or die chick I would say okay, I think women I think women in general Assumably try harder if that's the other way around dudes are like late later. I think you're right seconds Well, it's also like look at how forgiving That's terrible a lot of times our women are to a man's physical traits. Totally. You've seen these Super like these fat pieces shit guys. I've known guys who are like no fat chicks, bro And they're the fattest guys I've ever seen on our show that guy with no teeth demanding

Yeah, he's like I mean, I don't fuck with chicks like over 120 You're like, okay, dude, and like the dude just looks like a fucking candle melted and then stopped halfway through it I'm like just pig guys and you're like Jesus Christ and here's the thing that guy will score chicks all the time Totally, it's unbelievable that the woman goes like yeah, he's confident. Yes goes with him It's one care they take one characteristic to roll with women are like oh, he's you know, he's Smart or he's sweet. Yeah. Yeah, and for this guy. He's like gotta be a tight bod not gonna fuck I know a girl told me talking about her boyfriend. She goes well, he's nice to me I'm like I fucking hope so. Yeah, like that was the thing. She was impressed. He's nice to me

There was a guy last night with a really good-looking chick at right a trying ice cream You know, they have the right of the ice cream. Yeah, he's trying all the ice cream She a massive massive poppies skinny little tiny girl right next to him He's just like the you know, give me a rocky road, you know, he's like trying all of them And I was like, how does this how does she get trapped? How does she end up in that situation? It's just low self-esteem. Yeah coupled with maybe he's got something else to offer You don't know what his hog looks like or what his bank account looks like. Yeah, but there's everyone's got a penis It's got to be money because you can always go get another penis

I'm telling you but just someone sometimes those broken broken wings out there those girls if you're just nice to them I mean that yeah, he's got to find the damaged one guys. Yeah, yeah tip for the dudes get the damaged one Yeah, those are the ones you can manipulate. Yeah, you can own them These are healthy girls broken Yeah, you don't want them if they got their shit together, right? Yeah, if they're educated and they're a good family That's that's what a waste of time. Yeah, look for tears. That's who you want. Yeah Someone that looks like they always were just crying. Yeah Just done right, right, and they're like, I'm alright and you're like hey

Then whooping but those the girls that settle for the pigs eating ice cream in the righty. That's exactly right Those are your double anal chicks That's a real solid girl. Let's talk. Let's ask Andrew up by the way. Yeah, I'm fantastic comedian actor Andrew Santino about Ride or die so last week we posed Yeah, and it got a lot of okay. Listen carefully Okay, you're married. Yeah, so I Guess should I pose the question as to you or what do you think your wife would do? I'll ask you what you think your wife would do. Okay, so let's say

your wife's out and She comes home and she's like, hey, baby, and you're like, I gotta tell you something. She's like what you're like, hey, you know You know that FedEx guy and he always like he'll just kind of like pull the truck up and his his a mirror will like slap the The mailbox. She's like, ah guys asshole. Yeah. Yeah, so anyway today I was across town I was getting one of my juices and then I saw him in the parking lot and I don't know it pissed me off I killed him but anyways No one saw it and I got the body in the trunk. So

Just want to let you know. Do you think she turns you in? No, no way because she's she's my wife. Yeah, she wouldn't turn me in she would she would have She would first of her because it's me. She'd go well, you're fucking around. I go no dead series I'd show her the body and then she'd go. Well, you've got a plan, right and then that's what she would Want to know if I've got some kind of a plan No, let me let me be clear here the motivation for the murder. Yeah, it was just that the guys With a side view mirror dinged our mailbox Set him off stop hitting my fucking mailbox. Yeah, he already talked about it

We've already gone over this stop hitting them and and and you so you kill him and then your wife your children No, no kids. Okay, but Christina right there. There she is. She that's her Immediate response her immediate because she's been snitching She can I can I tell you something though? The fact that he would just willy-nilly kill people Leads me to believe he could welly-nilly kill me and our children That's why you have to turn him in that's right See if I know no if I'm that kind of unslisten wait if I'm that kind of unstable guy that kills someone over nothing Yeah, then you better do the right thing and help me out because I will fucking kill you

That's what I'm saying. I'm saying if my wife was like we need to tell someone I'd be like that's it You're dead. You're fucking dead, too. You and FedEx guy'll be buried together. See see see yeah, but she she's That I think is nonsense, right? I'm talking about how pissed I am at the barista. Yeah, it's a yeah It might be I might be a hothead about it, but that's one pissed at yeah She's like well, how do I know you're not gonna turn on kill our children just did but Andrew just said if she doesn't help me I'm gonna kill her if you if you go against me. Yeah, see that's my constant fear is me going to know then Why would you go against me? Yeah, why would you then I have to walk on eggshells for the rest of our marriage So after this are you joining the US marshals?

What's your I've got to protect our kids Tom your psycho well, that's but no that's it though I would I would go find first of all I'd have to find a backup wife Then if you started questioning me I find a backup wife. Who's your second wife choice? What am I looking for You're dumb dumb like yeah, just a total bozo. Yeah, it's like a 21 year old barely there. Yeah Next week like that kind of thing give her like a YSL person She's like yeah, you're the best and you're like sit in this room for a while Just give her some snacks or something

Yeah, yeah, give her a little cash. I'm gonna give her give her a Buy her a not an iPhone but like the iPod that looks like the iPhone but just tell her it's an iPhone, you know She's like it doesn't I don't like it. We'll get the service will get connected soon. Don't worry about it. Okay. Yeah See that I love that girl. I love you. I love you, too She's got some really young name that they don't you know, I'm reading a buck about river jobs And how you can do different blood jobs? That's what that girl does. That's all she does her time. She's like no hands. Watch daddy. Oh Totally yeah, they call you and they call you daddy. They have to rule

That's that's my donation wife. She's just a she's barely there being called daddy's is it's I don't know pass. No, thanks I think it's grody to hard pass or even poppy. Yeah Had it done once before you're talking about from back in the day. What do you think? From a total fucking gutter slut, but poppy is poppy's hot if it's coming from a Latino woman. Yeah, was it was a Latino pig Yeah, who was it? Just some fucking Maria chorizo chaser, you know, oh my god. Chorizo So Pig course

Well, yeah, but it's okay if it's from if it's a white girl that calls me poppy. That's just what are we doing? What are you doing? Yeah, so you're saying that Okay, so you think your wife should be right or die with you Gotta be first degree. Okay. Let me tell let's flip it Like if my wife is like, hey, you know that bitch from the office that I fight with you the last fucking three years I don't even have to ask you what your answer is. Yeah, she's like I sort of throw it. I'm like gangster Where are we burying this bitch? Yeah, you'd be like, should we dismember it? Yeah, dude Yeah, I drain it and then I'm thinking about camping. I'm like, where can we put it? How far away can we get and where am I going?

I gotta get ready. Yeah, you came home and you're like, I murdered someone. I'd be like, what are we doing? No, you would not. Yes, he would Question God, I would take so much pride in coming up with the cover story Oh, yeah, you wouldn't be in the least bit concerned about my man I'll stay even a little bit going on away. You had a reason Even at the time if it doesn't make sense now it made sense then now I got you got a support and Female killers are way fewer and far between that's true and man killers. So I'd probably be pretty cray I mean, if you start looking at me real psychotic, yeah, it's a little different

But what if I fucking kill you then I just want you're not afraid of me stabbing you in your sleep Not unless you're taking it to a thing where you're like Like rocking back and forth, you know licking knives. I'd be like, all right, something's up with her But if you just told me a story, you're like, I got real pissed off. I did this crazy thing Yep, I would totally be like, yeah, all right. I'm with you. But how do you know? It's a one-time thing That's my problem with you and I know you you're very Impulsive and and once you get a taste for killing, it's not gonna stop Cross that line. We're not talking about brownies, right? We're talking about killing people

But once you cross that light, that's the one line you're asked what to cross once you do and it feels so good I know you're gonna like it I Know you you're gonna like the probably does feel really good to take someone's life I also think it's probably I think it's also like I think well I'm the kind of guy who's so like meticulous about everything that the cleanup and all that shit Yeah, we just would that would probably deter me from doing it again. I'll be the hardest. Just so laborious. You're like, oh my god I don't fucking getting blood out. It's like paperwork, you know, it's a lot of all the shit out now

Yeah, it's like buying a house. Yeah, I know you're just sending you emails. You're like, what is this? I don't want to do this anymore. I don't know cash. I'm giving you cash here I just take it. Yeah, well the cleanup. Yeah, but it has to be a blood. It's gotta be a thrill to have someone tied up I imagine you know, I mean like in a ball. Yeah, just the control. Yeah, we have over them. I kind of get that look at her face I Just walk in and stare at them don't do anything and then close the door again. Okay, just give them little glimpses of you Okay, guys, I hope your wife listens to this. Yeah, she's going to yeah, and she better stay in her cage Where she belongs great guys, okay moving right along

I just want to see if come daddy has any more foot. Oh, yeah, look. Oh, she's dating somebody good for her. They're cute They're cute together. Let's see full body shot by the way I'm surprised. I thought that was gonna cut off here, but it's got the workout pants and everything and I will say it doesn't usually work out Sultry it's worked out for her quite nicely. I think she looks great By the way that shot right there of that freckly arm and that looks like it literally me if I put tennis balls as tits That freckly arm with that little bit of red hair That's me. That's me in a tank top this this condition was prompted for Christine when she was a man And had a back injury. Oh, yeah way to the hospital in the ambulance. She started having orgasms

Oh my gosh, and the next day according to this article. She had 236 orgasms Yeah, the constant spasms leaving her pelvis in agony. I'd be on my knees All these people will be staring at me. It's humiliating Man, I've been lying to myself for so long. I knew I was meant to be a woman I'm glad all these people are switching by the way I have all these people that have wanted to switch for so long and now that society is like do it I'm like go for it man. Whatever. Yeah, I think it's good if people want to switch go for it

Whatever you got to do. I think there's got to be nothing worse than Then honestly feeling like you're born in the wrong body. It's got to be the weirdest feeling that's got to tear Now the worst feeling in the world is being you feeling like you're in the wrong way like a guy that's such a guy Yeah, and your transition is just always gonna look bad. You know what I'm saying She always tells me that if I were to transition I'd be the ugliest ugliest woman ever I don't know about ugliest, but you wouldn't be a babe. Yeah. Yeah, you'd be you'd be a solid He'd be a big husky Midwest girl, you know, oh my god, you have broad shoulders, you know Yeah, so much hair, but you see some of those some of those guys say they got I'd be like a seven in Omaha

Yeah, you'd be a babe in Nebraska Just cutting trees and shit I Think I'd be an okay chick. I'd be I'd be a sluts. I'd be wild. So yeah Yeah, I'd be a freaky red-headed girl Also, my legs are kind of skinny enough where I can yeah, I can thin them out and do hot chick legs You know, you're the thing by the way all these guys especially big guys when they start to transit We're watching that show this guy who trans was transitioning was like everyone thinks I'm a man and you know

He just decided yeah, and he was big dude. It's like dude. Why aren't you running every morning? Yeah? Yeah, you gotta lose way lose away diet, right? Yeah, I mean gonna commit you got to commit if you're gonna drop off the Wanger you got to commit it dude. Yeah, she's like people say things like I look like a man like you're 225 Yeah, you're big pretty big broad. Yeah, stop stop benching Stop lifting at some point. You gotta play that's why I might switch just so I can stop going to the gym I might just sit right you work out a lot. I do really yeah I do I've changed working out what I work out now I just tried to switch I used to just be like run lift weights run lift weights now

I just do different things to because I just it's so monotonous Yeah, it's so boring so and the people there are so boring. That's true It's just the whole idea of it is just kind of grosses me out sometimes when you see people like you know You go to a gym. I don't have it. I don't go to gym anymore We I have one at home which is great But when I used to go to a gym and I'd see the same guy over and over doing the same things and you're like, eww Yeah, this is like very like machining like creepy like he's doing the exact same. What's up that guy like Oh, fuck that's especially weird when you see that guy over the course of time not making any progress

No progress. Yeah same guy and sometimes you'll hear that same guy complain like I just can't you're not doing anything, right? Yeah, that's why you're not making any progress. That's even more sad Really sad is when people post it on Instagram their workouts. I think there's nothing more fucking boring Yeah, I don't want to call out anybody But there's someone I know that posts gym stuff all the time and I'm like, oh, and I really like yeah, but yeah bothers me So fucking much. It's so like does it bother you as much as people retweeting compliments or? Yeah, yeah, that's pretty parallel. It actually bothers me when someone I know Comments on the gym photo in a positive

Snake that's so self-serve after it dog. Yeah, go get it brother. Looking great, bro. Yeah, what the fuck you phony? That's such a phony Also, the gym people the few gym people that I know that do that Like that's the hardest part That's what bothers me it's not like When you're like, whoa like rock. Yeah, he does his big. Yeah, yeah that big fucking grin But it's a cocaine smile. Oh, yeah, is that how? Positive that guy really feels no way cuz his smile that he's like hey

He's like feeling good in my anchor. I'm lifting this morning shot eight movies yesterday Fucking films where it's four. I'm almost done my first workout of the day And you just see the smile just never fade and he's like all right guys get after it He's six million views didn't they say there was an article that came out that he suffers from depression that he admitted He has severe depression. You're like yeah like a jerk. Thanks. No, no, no, no, no Because if you spend all this time working this yeah, not your brain. Yeah, something's wrong It's I'm not making fun, but you're gonna get depressed like you're naturally if all you focused on was one thing all the time It's like I don't I think is depressing too. No, I've thought about this. I think it's naturally depressing

Those guys that get to number one number one totally I think it's gotta be it's so much attention and there's so much pressure And I don't think it's coincidence that all the number ones work out like lunatics I think it's like I think it's actually kind of depressing to get to get to that level Do you think number one's always self-sabotage or do you think that's just a pattern of it? No, I don't think they all Self-sabotage. I I think there's just so much pressure to maintain it and there's a natural just ebb and flight You look at someone like Tom Cruise. He was the number one of number ones for a huge stretch Yeah, then like obviously some weird personal stuff happens. It's all public, right? It's like these

Scientology, yeah, the crazy couch jumping. I love this woman He puts it back together and but he also is known for having Like I mean, there's no kind of an odd point of view Personality and it's all tied to staying in that top slot. I think right get you get obsessed with being Are they make those posts and I won't say who but there are people I follow. They're like number one just grinding That's all I know how to do grinding working. It's like dude. What's what's your life about? That's it That's all you're gonna do. You are ready like a multi-millionaire. Just take a break. I like reading that when I'm not doing anything that day

That's my favorite shit. And you're like, I'm winning today. Yeah, I didn't do shit. I feel fantastic Yeah, I don't know who said that. I think Norma Donald was talking about that on something when he was like Sometimes my day is so consumed with getting a meal and a concern for the next meal Yeah, then my whole day is just going to get food having it doing it Then going to get new food and the day is over and I did a whole day Yeah, I was like I was like I've had those days Yeah, and then when I see people like doing the thing bragging like I feel good that I didn't do shit I also think that some of the the grinding braggers. Oh, they're really they they're doing that for themselves

No, totally not not just as a showoff I think they need it they need to do it to keep going So without the act of documenting it and showing and getting the reinforcement something they lose something So they need to go check out how hard I'm working and tell me how proud you are of me for how hard I'm working I think there's two kinds of people though that like some people like when they get accolades They have to tell you and some people are embarrassed of telling you You know what I mean some people are so scared to let you know that sometimes when you find out something about a friend and you're like I didn't know you I didn't know you did that and they're like yeah, and they're kind of embarrassed about it

But then I have so many of the other friends. I have someone that will call me I wish I could say his fucking name. He will call me and tell me a Great thing. That's just that he's just acquired or achieved or whatever. We all know Bert What am I gonna say? What am I like? I don't know what you expect the response to be awesome Right. Yeah, I think I like to brag online only like I like the but online bragging Social media bragging. That's it. It's just it's there if you want to see it gone great. No But you know what I just realized what makes me so annoyed about the workout braggers Is that you're supposed to work out dipshit? Yeah, it's like I took a shower today

Hey, I'm fucking showered a brush teeth. I took a shit like no dude. You're supposed to do that Stuff to maintain your life. There's no reason to brag about well. We're also all supposed to grind That's always supposed to be working on we should be grinding. I mean they're acting like they work hard You know, I know what else does yeah, I know maintain their life Yeah, you work hard, but that's you know, what the irony is the people that are like grinding the hardest I can imagine the rock being like on the grind just had my personal chef cook my personal breakfast and my personal gym Meanwhile a dude is like I'm on the grind. I'm on my fourth job today. Yeah, I'm tired. I have six kids I make 40 grand a year on the rocks. I can't tell you how much I respect you

That is so true Andrew, it's like the guy that delivers my Amazon packaging Grinding by the way, if that guy's bragging on the grand being like fucking on the grind I'd be like respect it for sure Yeah, those guys don't want they don't this is what they're gonna ditch 115 shovel in the air grinding. Yeah, that's the real that's for sure those people won't brag That's not because they're the false narrative of cool guys Do what the rock does then they feel like I gotta get up to that to do the I watch an insane document Vice-Land put out a piece about these people in Miami who rend exotic cars. Yes. I started watching I got like halfway through. I don't want to spoil it for the only fucking creepy because I saw that text on screen

Yeah, that was like quarter of the way in where they go Chuck Chuck Chuck Chuck. I'm sorry. I was just drinking water. I'm a champion They're already saying they're like we were not able to verify any of the claims by this guy And I'm like that's not a normal thing to put up on screen like they're obviously Prompting you to pay attention. Yes, and then they show him like doing coke and like yeah, his friends were he's grinding He said yes to doing coke on camera like bro. What are you doing 1 a.m? We about to hit this time. Yeah, I didn't get through it I mean not I want to see the rest of it the basis of it is to tie into what we're saying is like It's this fake like we're all winning. We're all rich

Yeah, and he basically is saying how sad it makes him that he's got to keep up appearances Yeah, cuz he can't he literally can't and he's like doing everything he can to do anything He can't a lie cheat steel do whatever he can look like just to look like it's just a fake it That's what's even something do you know do they cover this I was trying to figure this out So this this piece is all about how especially in Miami the exotic car rental business is That's where it's the only place. Oh, yeah, I am no without a doubt I mean there's none to peek again even the guy Who's like he's like if you come here and you don't rent a hot car your piece of shit

Drive that narrative Everyone's like, okay, and it's all crazy expensive cars. We're talking like entry-level 250 grand for these cars right and bow all the way Rory's Rolls Royce, you know nothing nothing just regular luxury. No, it's like uber insane luxury Like a s5 50 Mercedes if I get the fuck out of here with that shit shit But anyways, I'm seeing this shit I'm watching and you're like, okay people rent these cars Do those businesses acquire all that be way too much capital right to be buying so it doesn't talk about it on there But of course this our brains right in the same I started doing research because I was like there's no way They have enough capital to buy 15 Lambos right right and so there I found a few other articles

You can look it up about people that get these These subsidies from major high if they're reputable from high-end companies to like Lease up lease and sublease from them and that's how they do that. That's how they do But they pay a super premium on the lease or to be able to sub I rented one as a prank Yeah on Burt like a year ago where I you know I was so right it was so embarrassing Yeah, and he was like you bought this and and I was talking to the people that rented it to me about this I was like because they were cool and they were like all they follow like comedy and they were like

You know we just had any car I go so you buy all these cars and they were like, uh, yeah Like kind of like dodging around. I'm just curious. I'm not trying to get into the business with you I'm just asking you and they were like, yeah, these are all our cars Like it wasn't like they didn't work forthcoming with how they actually are able to do I think there's a million little sneaky holes Like there's one on sunset There's one like right on sunset next to a bar and one time I talked to the guy because there was like three cars in the showroom I was like how many you have he's like as many as we need I was like no that means you don't have shit, but you're able to find them somehow

Yeah, I think they go find real owners or find you know companies that collect or whatever and they pay them a premium Over what they're gonna lease it for it's just it's got a nice shade. It's a shady business It's a crazy business like Tom when you rented the Lambo. Did you put your car insurance or do they know? For that I take theirs when I rent cars on the road. I'm like my insurance is great What did it cost to rent the Lambo a G? It was like a thousand. Yeah, it was for a day You know, it's expensive, but I go like you're not doing enough business to You know to pay off these kind of car and make a profit. No way, man No, they'd have to be literally

Const like the second you bring it back everyone's there waiting and no way they have their busy moments and everything here in LA Too, you know people you always see those high-end cars Beverly Hills and sometimes it's an owner of a car, but a lot of times this is exotic sunset strip stuff You know, yeah, it's all rentals. Yeah rentals people from out of town. Although I was I met this guy who was a Liaison you know these guys in LA that don't do real jobs that you're like, but they get paid good money And you're like, well, how did you get there? Yeah, he's a liaison to this rich Family from Dubai and he basically is there everything go get it go do it. You know what I mean like the ultimate gopher Yeah, it does literally everything for them and he's like, oh, yeah, they

Constantly rent cars. They won't just buy a car. Yeah, he's like, so they'll rent a Bentley for like two months And then give it back and then they'll rent You know Ferrari for a month and then give it back and a Rolls-Royce. I was like what that's they just don't feel like buying He's like no, they just don't want to have anything acquired They just want to like get it give it back like everything is a lease everything is to rent So there's people like that that I think come to LA that spend absurd amounts of money on shit like that and those companies must make a Ton off them, but they don't care because they're there's so much. They're like, no, I just want to give it back My cousin can hear that wealthy. Wouldn't you like? Oh, yeah, if I was that well my there is that kind of money in LA

You see it. You're like, there's there's really Princes rich people living in that area that you were talking about. Oh, yeah Oh, no, I'm Beverly. Was it the Beverly Hilton? We were some cab driver was telling us that these girls come during the summertime at the Beverly Wilshire Beverly Wilshire Oh, yeah, yeah, and there's Arab and like, you know Like Middle Eastern. Yeah coming and it's like before I forget what time of year it was for Ramadan Maybe or was it? Yeah, I think so. Don't respect run. Don't disrespect Ramadhan. Don't you dare? But these these girls come with like their chaperones and then their fathers and brothers are back home and in the other gold country

And then they spend all this money on like Chanel clothes and all these labels shit where I'm and then leave them behind We're in back home It's about in the country. That's crazy. Yeah, what do they where does it go? Just someone of like they're like, I don't know throw the trash You see some some homeless dude wearing a Chanel dress But he looks good Hotel was we were there to have lunch with someone and we were like, oh, that's right We were have we go

What is going on because it was so like so busy bonnet didn't feel like a normal day, right? And they're like, oh, I don't remember if it was Robin up. There was some time of the year. They're like, oh, it's blah, blah, blah And this always happens will get like thousand You know princes and whatever here and they had like armed security people and they're like, they're just it's nothing but Lambo's Rory's Rolls Royce and and then you saw hundreds Shopping bags from all the rodeo drive so that because they can't wear them back home because they have to wear Traditional gear or whatever. Yeah, I don't know what that's called. Yeah, they said like oh It's just fun like they'll buy it and wear it out to dinner and then there's there's there's a job

He job the high job. Is it? Yes, and I buy a hijab hijab. That sounds really nice, but you say it with that face I don't know Yeah, there was I watched I watched one of these YouTube wormholes where people go shit about them. Don't know So if you want to talk some shit Is that wine box video? Oh my god. Yes. That's so one of the best love that one Oh, I watched this video about people that go rent cars in the M and What is it in Dubai in the Emirates or whatever? Yeah, and they leave them at the airport like there's that you can look it up

There's this video. There's like thousands of cars that are like really nice cars because if you don't pay your If you skip payments, it's a prisonable offense in Dubai. Oh dear So they'll what they'll do is they'll drive them to the airport and they'll catch a flight out of the country and and ghost Wow, look look look at it up. It's insane. There's like Ferrari Ferrari beamer Mercedes They just didn't make their payment on yeah, they were yeah, and they just leave the cars It's like it was like a car graveyard at the airport when my my cousin from Peru came here study English a few years ago He was with it was all foreign people from all over the world in his class and he goes Oh, he's like, there's this kid in my class from UAE and I go. Yeah, he goes

you know, they just gave him money to come here and Then they just bought him a place and he takes out the whole class like in he'll rent limos and like Sprinter vans and is like, let's just go out tonight pay for everybody and they're like what the fuck's going on I was the best and and he's like he's like I don't worry about like my government just pays for it all my government Yeah, he's like they just gave me and he's like he would bring out just like what could wait What school is it? This is a he was studying in they were studying English at USC. Oh in college. Yeah, but it was like at you know An adult study shirt. What do you mean the government? Is this? UAE right and he said that this is my cousin told me that if you're a citizen

You can go to the government and be like I want some I want some shit and they're like, all right And then give you money and I want to buy a house. Here's the money for the house If you go I want to study anything at any part of the world It's on them because they go you're gonna bring it back here. So go study that thing. It's a pretty black pretty black system I want this. Okay. I like it. Yeah, I love it. We should move there. Yeah, the fuck are we doing here? And then be like give us the money we won't leave we guys could live there Not me as well after we murder that FedEx do we might have to do that guy keeps hitting the fucking mailbox What do you want us to do? Yeah? God damn it you to the first conversation is really nice. Hey, man

I've you missed the you you hit my mailbox Because I think I've seen it you hear that that smack and then he and then his but he does this to you and this Pisses you off. He goes. I don't think I hit it. Ah I saw yeah, well, okay. Yeah, I'm pretty sure No, man. I didn't I didn't hit it but sorry about that many of them. All right. Okay second day hits it and then you go Hey, dude, every yesterday. You remember how we just you know, I saw the truck hit it now. I did see it I saw it. It was loud. I think you heard it and then he says and sticks out a little too far if I'm being honest Your mirror. No, no the mailbox. It sticks out too far. So okay. Well, maybe you go around it

I can't sit tight turn from the corner. All right. I gotta go do some other deliveries Now you start now you're cooking. See day three Day three now he really gets it now Tom's waiting for the guy Now you're waiting outside for me lying and wait as they say and then I say it to you I go. Hey, man. Smoked it today. Sorry about that. I I clipped it bad I clipped took that turn fast and I'm a little hung over Um, also one of your packages that you were supposed to get it was a big one something important. No, no

Um, it broke at the warehouse. So Well, you know, okay figured out with them. Okay. Yeah. All right. All right, man. Have a good day. I'll see you there No, you too That's it. It's brewing. Yeah underneath. Right. Yeah. So three three days of this And then I see him at the juice bar. Yeah, here. I am at the juice bar I know and I'm at the juice bar. I know the guy that works there. He's been waiting in line for quite a while I walk right in I go mickey. What up? Boom. He's got my juice ready. Yeah, I don't have to pay for it or nothing He gets up there wants his juice. I got the last of whatever the juice that he needed

Oh, fuck and is that what now I go see now I go out the stairs That's to the back parking lot. It's really like not even a parking lot It's like trash cans and stuff dumpsters and I see FedEx fucking frank, right? And he's just like He's he's like god damn. This is good. He's like making a scene of it. Yeah, he's bragging about it God, just like fuck. They get the best mango here. Yeah the best mango here. Why the shit in? Yeah, really or something must and that's when I go like oh, hey, man. I noticed you fucking Parked without hitting anything here, you know

And he's like, oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, did you want this? These are good. He's like, ah, he's throws him Check it out. He goes like this Oh, shit Hey, look and he hits tom in the head with the empty one. What do you think? You think he's gonna do? Yeah, yeah, man. How do you kill him? I mean, I think there's probably Like a a piece of juicing equipment that broke that's in the parking lot. Yeah, there's a grinder or something

Yeah, some type of blade that kind of half Oh from from the juicing equipment. Yeah, I luck out and that when I pick it up it feels like it's actually a handle for Yeah, like it's been made almost. Yeah, it's made for this and I just he's just like Eat a dick, man. Try ups or something like that and as he does it. I just right behind him Oh, you do that's the neck. Oh, yeah Yeah, but there's a lot of blood a lot of blood. It's been a hits to a little much to be honest with you So I think I probably panic, you know a good bit And then it just hits me that like the parking lot is not a parking lot

Like I we're both in an area where there's no cars. Yeah, right, you know, so I'm like, oh, there's no one's seen I look around there's no cameras. I'm like, oh man. I just all right. I got I got to get out of here But your your clothes are covered in blood Yeah, I don't know. I feel like the way that he hit the ground most of the blood is like that way there Yeah, it's forward and it's going into a train sure. I got you you let throw it from behind Yeah, but but look at like this if you if someone came like this And his arm is here. It went out that way. Uh-huh. So he's slitting push. He pushed slit. Oh, I see. Oh, okay Sure, sure. The main thing I got to figure out is yeah, so I I back my car up. I pick him up

I throw him in the trunk. Yep, and then I look at his truck and I'm like, uh Just leave it here. I guess, you know, fuck it. They'll think he came here and it's illegally parked. I bet. Yeah What about the witness? There was a lady with a dog Walking by you're not gonna. She saw me do it. Of course. Wait. This is a new developer and then she goes Oh, is it that comedian from netflix? Todd segura Todd yeah, I'm Todd. I love you. Yeah. Yeah big fan big fan You know what though, you know, you got to do with her What?

Yeah, let her throw now. You just got to hit her with your car. No an accident That's true. Oh, no, that is true. You got to hit her with your car. Yeah, and if she says my name, yeah 100% Yeah, yeah, she knows you. Yeah, if she knows you it's just uh-oh, but the dog you don't want to kill the dog No, you don't want to kill the dog. Dogs are cool But you definitely got to hit her and you got to hit her hard You got her nice and hard But now you got blood on the grill the car and then you've got a body in the trunk Yeah, but you're gonna burn all that shit. You're gonna burn the whole the whole car

Well, the truck I think I mean at the truck first of all, I mean that that thing 5600 pounds or something. I mean it's come on 40 miles an hour even that it's like it's over Yeah, sure. Yeah, I just try to clip her You know if anything she lives there's definitely memory loss She's probably you know talking with her eyes looking at letters. We're in the computer. Sure. Hey, yes one of those So it was Todd Segura that hit me What it takes you like 25 minutes to get it out um, but

I don't know and then I just bring home. I tell you what's up, but I'm like, what are we gonna do with this thing? Yeah, right, you know Now that now that you present the scenario that way like real talk I I might have to help see I know because really there you go. Here's the thing because like I would make you love you again I would panic and be like Fuck dude. Like what am I? What are we gonna do? I can't have you going away to prison because you know You got a tour in 2019 you all these dates coming out. You're selling out all these shows

You can't bail on that dude. Yeah, that's why people are waiting for you to show up. I mean think about all this That's what I'm thinking about Think about the sex would be so hot. He tells you this conversation He redos redos the story and you're like, I gotta fuck this guy. Yeah, it's true Dead body or not. This is hot man. Or I tell you during sex. Yeah. Yeah, you're like wait. What happened even better I was at the juice bar. You're like, yeah, and then right before I come I go I kill that fucking guy I kill that fucking guy. Oh Yeah, that's funny guys

By the way, this was sent to us so many times and I'm sure it would have been in the folder if blue band had Prepped it, but I found it just you may have seen it also. This was sent to us a fucking 200 times this week Okay, yeah, I did see that guy on twitter. You seen this Andrew. Yeah, this guy is such a fucking psycho I love it. Where is he? Oh, I don't hear him. We need to hear him. Oh, it's muted. God damn it. This is why Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, what's crackin? What's crackin with motherfucking crackers? Like I always say black white

brown yellow orange pink Asian Asian, I'm looking for a thick booty bitch Hey, man, you don't leave you like tears you're patting hit me to fuck up

Don't come drive. I'ma bring your jug Bring a blunt Let's get wet Let's get fit I love all these guys remember this love Stay wet. Ew. Thick booty bitches. I love you. Yeah, see this is a perfect example of what we were talking about earlier

The guy with no teeth making demands. Yeah, I gotta tell you I like this guy. Here's the thing. I love him I think it's authentic. I think this guy Really gets high with women 40 years younger than him and it's probably cool like has like a decent place where it's like It's not bad. Yeah, he's like, uh, you got you brought a blunt. I brought all these drinks You know, he's like show me ass and they're like, all right. Andrew's in yeah I just think like he probably he's probably super chill about everything. You know what I mean? Like he seems like he's He's woke enough that if a girl came over and was like, I don't want to fuck and he'd be like that's chill

Let's just get high as fuck. That's true. Yeah, he doesn't seem like a 4c weird creepy guy What is it? Where does he live? What do you what a kind of digs does he have? He's in he's Uh, just up by bob hope airport just by burbank airport. Yeah Yeah, is that like an apartment complex? It's one of those old do it's a used to be a house now to duplex, you know, oh sure. Yeah, and he's got uh He's actually got the dominant side of the yard So like the other side's concrete for the driveway But he's got like a nice little patio with those little string lights that he's got

It's pretty chill. I'm not gonna lie. It's kind of cool. He's gotten a cute cute tiny little fucking fluffy dog. Absolutely It's super cute. You know this guy. Yeah, he's not that bad of a dude. I feel like he's getting a weird wrap online He's the kind of guy who's had a pretty decent job for 40 years. Thank you. You know, he's always got cash on him Yep, he's got a like he has a cleaning lady. You know, so his place is yeah nice pays her well treats her well But why no teeth He did not I think he just had a lack of teeth. I don't think he had no teeth I think he was he was I think it was, you know, tooth deficient. He's not new to the drug game. I don't know if you know Yeah, no, he's talking about getting wet and rolling blunts like yeah

I don't know. I get I thought I get what was sexual. Well, it could be double. Yeah, it's also Yeah, it's pc when you dip a blunt in in it's formaldehyde. It's Embalming to know this crap. We've been in the game in the game for a long time Kill people we've hit bodies. Yeah, you take away back. Yeah, we've been getting wet for years Wait, are you guys fucking with me? No. No, that's real getting getting wet means dipping a blunt in in embalming for formaldehyde Or or pcp. He makes you feel good. You feel really good. Dude. We've had some nights Yeah Yeah, so he's had the couple of runs in fact he used to before he got this desk job

He was working. He was working at a funeral home. That's how I discovered Here's the thing too doing like getting wet regularly. It it helps him Not think about his first wife and those kids that he hasn't seen in a long time. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. So you do you do You get high like that. You know, what's so sad about that distraction she Santa Clarita is not that far It's not and he should go up there more often. Yeah, but he's working on himself a little bit right now He can't go see those kids in this condition Now and on that child support that he's had to pay over the years. He can't afford dental work No way it's like pay the wife and the kids or fix my teeth at this point

A lot of his kids are thinking, you know, do I introduce them to my grandkids? You know, he's great and they're like, I don't know. I don't think it's ready You know, but there that's the irony the whole thing is he has a nice little Honda Civic that he Functioning car to drive up there But since he's eco-friendly, he walks to work because it's only three and a half guys eco-friendly Yeah, no, he is it's three and a half miles from his house to his office. So he doesn't drive enough So they booted his car. So it's like, you know, one thing he does do wrong. I can tell you he does do wrong He uses too many of those car smell. Oh my god. It's insane. Yeah 15 of those like

It's like evergreen winter green winter green that he goes overboard at the guest too many He not only hangs the trees from the rear view but also on his turning signal And he puts the clips in the air vents. Yeah, and under the seat Do you think when you ask him how how his day is going that he elaborates? Like when he's at the checkout at the gross if you're cute A lot of small talk if you're a woman. Yes, if you're a big booty girl, that's looking to get wet then definitely Yeah, yeah, if you're all about his day, but if you're a guy, he's quick to brush you off Yeah, if you're like, hey man, how's it going? He's like everything's fine. Yeah, he doesn't know if you're a snitch or a

P. O. Or what's your you know, I mean he doesn't know your deal. Yeah, he doesn't know your deal He doesn't know he's just you know, who would snitch right away right over there. Yeah, in prison chris nitcha But although how you presented that snare out to me you guys and I felt the panic But you see how that might help him just out of panic But do you see how that works because when you empathize with us you understood the pain came do you think This has a similar vibe to you this guy. Oh my god. He's the worst Hot women they just break my heart Well, I agree. I'm a good man

Work hard and try to do good by everybody like the bible says What's he watching today? That's no teeth. That's no teeth. No, that's that's genuinely no teeth But hey guys, at least he likes he's educated. He's watching anderson cooper. Yeah Yeah, he's he likes the news current events and I am a fan of full volume while you're making a video Totally Good camera for getting your message out there. Yeah framing wise Definitely can I tell you something hasn't has no idea anderson cooper's gay and would turn that off if you found it out Oh, probably, you know what I mean?

He would be in such shock if you told him what what what do you mean gay like goofy Like a weird guy. You mean he does fufu stuff Totally no idea. No idea. I feel like I feel like that You know how many you know how many people like kevin spacey coming out coming out to the world at a very inappropriate time When he also got you know, like accused of touching boys. Yeah, so many people in middle america. We're like, he's not No, of course, of course gay. No, where are you from urgently chicago? Okay, okay, but I know like that's just funny the epicenter of the midwest is a city that's like Such a diverse crate like you know what I mean, but then like, you know

An hour west or south or two hours south. You're like, oh boy. This is different. This is different. We're same in california though Same thing. Yeah. Yeah, same thing. Yeah, but but but but The population of southern people in southern illinois people in southern illinois I remember as a kid going down there. They have southern accents. That's so weird And you're like, well, it's no one. No, we don't not in illinois. We don't have that But people will have kind of like a twang the downsalas Yeah, and you're like what no, but they say it like it's the deep south It's you can you can run into that in a lot of states

Yeah, they just have so the rural. Yeah, it's so weird. It's you can run into it in like uh mid central california Yeah, that is so strange to me. I don't know how that ended up over there. I think it's really weird too Really weird places with creepy names like visalia. Yeah, visalia. Yeah the way to san francisco, right? Yeah Baker's field. Oh christ more of this guy. Yeah, straight up sex foreplay Foreplay look at his eyebrows foreplay Somebody smells good down there, you know I agree dude. Yeah, yeah He's not said anything wrong though. He's gotta keep yourself clean now. This guy's living situation is significantly different

Yeah, what do you see this guy's pretty unfortunate? Actually, he he has a house. Um, it's not really a house anymore, but it's like a He used to be a nice little piece of property had in tarzana and uh When his wife left him Everything left him the need to clean and take care of it and it's overgrown It's it's really really sad. His neighbors have called multiple times to hoa about him Do you think he has animals multiple? Any cats that piss everywhere and he doesn't well he lets them roam He had past tense. He had animals, but then they just you know, I think he drops on you when you come over

If he gets you to come over You have to all you take in all this shit. He's like my mom's in the back. You're mom. He's like she's real sick You don't she don't make much noise. You're real sick. You're like, all right And you're like, what's that noise? I've been a later. Yes that kind of thing. He's like she'll make she'll make a fuss She smokes someone'll be here in the morning to change her. Don't she's in the iron lung, you know He's like she'll be fine. You hear that his lips are also a kind of a shade of purple Which to me could indicate the tobacco use or or he's close to dying Could could be inching his way towards death

Wait a minute, do you mean to tell me hold on hold on You don't think this guy lives a very very healthy lifestyle. I don't I feel like I don't let me see him one more time I don't know where bam teeth are in his mouth I'm in on here you know To get you a guy don't look all great. You gotta stay with you longer. Yeah You won't cheat on you with another one. Okay. They won't cheat on you with another guy Now did he put in the top and the bottom? I'm only for this video just the bottoms

I feel like just the bottoms are on this one. You're looking guy. You can have anybody. He wants. Yeah, that's true Thank you really wants you Whoa, he wants you for that Look what I got on my arm What's he watching today? This is a game. I think it's a full game. Yeah All right, it's full volume Loud you can pick up what's going on in the game. It'd be so great if he shot this behind the tv Like just sitting right behind the tv. That'd be even fun

It's gonna say halfway in the tv one of my biggest pet peeves is talking to somebody on the phone And like let's say they don't within the first few seconds If you hear the background like that, you're like, hey man. Are we are we gonna talk? I hang up. Yeah I mean my dad still I'll be like, what's that noise? I'll try to like Yeah, what's that noise? He's like, oh, yeah, I gotta turn tv on Stands up Turns it off Hold on. Hold on. You know what's interesting? So loud this back this fake wooden paneling and the background and these beams

These are like old San Fernando Valley type houses. It's definitely an old ass. You're right about that. Yeah That we didn't actually show Andrew how we were introduced to this guy. This is actually how he's known to us It's from this video Oh Last lady 10 15 times Before I even went boom once. Wow. Yeah, that's really good. Yep. Do you guys think he's lying? I don't know. I always think it's cool. Like when guys brag about how good they are about on sex I'm like, this is a cool guy. I think he needs that's most guy. Yeah, I feel like I know how to fuck

You're like, oh, no, probably guys don't know how to fuck really well. Yeah, if you're like, I think he's got like some form of Wait, are you super strong too? Oh, that's good too. Tough guys When he's smart, when he brags about being smart I don't know. I think I gotta be honest. I think he's right. I think that sounds true He'll make you come. Yeah. Do you think that's his pitch when he meets a girl? Yes. I'll make you come 10 15 times How much time you got like, um, I guess I got time to come. I would love to come 15 times But what time I was talking about this is that that's not the um, the lure for women No, like make it you don't want to come 15 times

I don't know. I feel like you're joshing us like that's how a dude would entice another dude Yeah, that's in the gay community. That is that is the same pitch. I'll make you come 10 15 times guys are like, heck Yeah, let's go to your house right now. Yeah, what are we doing at this bar? God, it must be amazing It must be so good. How much fun how much fun my neighbor my old neighbor in the old building He he was a pump king. He was the pump king. That's what I called him because he would fuck All the time always awesome fun party coming coming New people coming by just and I'd sit there on my window just staring Waving sometimes at some of the new visitors, you know thumbing them up like yeah

Fucking get ready. What you doing? I did a spot Yeah, I did one spot and I jerked off my wife was sleeping in the bedroom and I'm ate some cereal But I watched you three guys tonight. Yeah, I saw yeah Sometimes he would sometimes he would fuck on the living room and I'd he'd leave the blinds open a little bit And I wouldn't watch from for long maybe two or three nuts We got an email from somebody said last night my wife and I decided to partake in marital love I had finished my part of the oral exchange and it was time to receive Everything was going great until out of nowhere. She starts laughing hysterically, which is never a good sign

I tried to stay in the game, but I wanted to know what's up through her laughter. She managed to cobble together a I'm sorry. I was just remembering when Christina said that tom's asshole is hot and gamey Yeah, so thanks for that brian from toronto. You're welcome. That's that's nice. Yeah, there's your wife. I don't want to Go give it to me. Okay. Does she Touch your b-hole. Is she a fan of your b-hole? No, you know, she's she's she's I think she gave it a world once and I I panicked a little bit sure. Yeah, and I just it's like my no-fly zone for some reason Oh, yeah, I don't know why not for some reason the shit comes out of there Yeah, but I mean I I'll tongue the hell out of hers. I love fucking licking ass. I'm a big ass liquor

Yeah, big ass liquor. So it's just you know, that's that's that's from yeah She doesn't have to reciprocate and eat your scrum. No, I don't know. I don't really want her to you know I mean, I'd appreciate a little bit more gagging on the old knob, but uh, yeah, you could You could slap on a little bit more, but no the butthole. It's just kind of like let it be I thought you guys are soulmates. Yeah It's like listening to my husband a couple of more a couple of more of those But no the buttholes is kind of like, um Yeah, we gave it a whirl we can't we know you know, we tried it. Yeah, we ate at that restaurant if it wasn't that good

You know, so it's like no, we're not gonna come back I mean, I've only I've only tried to get you to just like take a little test drive, you know Yeah, I mean it to lick just to try to lick your scrum. Yeah, but it's too hot It's like this is what I said. It's hot and gamey. There's a lot of hair where it's not as gamey It's smelling you could make up for some maybe like some ball choking like some ball Just to put the balls in your mouth That's so silly. Yeah, I know Okay, you're okay. That's not even real life. It is real life. Yes, it is. Yes, it's real. It's very real

I'm a ball hog. I'm a ball. I'm a ball hog. Absolutely Hi, I'm Sierra sin and I'm a ball hog Yeah Yeah, sniff those balls Sniffing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's all I want you to do. I know I know You know, I mean just stop being so so reserved about it, you know, let's get in there get in the mother of two Are you a low hanger? You got low hanging fruit. No, I think they're pretty I think your beans. Yeah They're high and tight. Yeah, they're good. No, he's got great balls. I've always complimented you on your balls

Yeah, mine are getting lower and I getting worried about it. Really? They're starting to swing They're starting to be they're starting to swing a little there are we like I won't say that this happens with any regularity But if it's july and this is it's the right or wrong toilet. Yeah, it will get some splash Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm got a couple of swingers I get I I got a little weird out about because I asked another buddy and I was like, can I see your nuts? Like how tight are your nuts? He was like for sure and he showed me his nuts and I was like, oh, no, like I think you're really I there's anything like my dad's if that's my future Okay, that's what I'm scared about because my dad's nuts are they he puts them they're on his knees

Yeah, and they're insane. My dad looks like a pig from like a pig's ball From the back and so bad. I I he's scared of that. He's never shy around me and I go Oh, I saw him from behind. I was like Jesus Christ. He bent over to put on underwear. I was like, are those your balls? He's like get out of here. I was like, dude. Those are fucking crazy. Yeah, like grocery bags. Like they were just So I've seen your dad's balls too on the cruise when he laid he laid on the bed in boxer shorts And he swung his legs over and I caught a glimpse and then he called he was like I'm not good. He's like, oh, come on. Come on. They're just my nuts, son I go, dad, it's your daughter. So what? She's seen that sound like your mother. I was like

I kind of have seen a lot. I know, but I was like, do you think she wants to see your balls, dude? And he was like, all right I was like, all right, man A part of him was so cool. Can I ask you guys something? Oh, sorry. I'll go ahead and interrupt. No, go Does it hurt when they get hangier? Like does it hurt because my tits hurt the hangier they get. Yeah, but that's so the weight differential This is so light. Think about how heavy that's heavy. That's like That's these no, this doesn't hurt. It only hurts when

It only hurts sometimes in bed Like if I'm in an awkward position sleeping and if I roll over a weird way and I'm like, ha ha ha And I got him caught up a little bit. Oh, all right Or you can sit like especially with jeans. Oh, yeah, that that line will kind of you're like, oh, shit Yeah, that hurts cuts your nuts in half and I'm probably gonna increase more as you get older We should make jeans for your nuts like too little nuts for your jeans Brilliant. Hugger's not hugger's not hugger's. That's what the jeans will be called Or even like a stretchy panel

For that area of the crotch. Well, they make they make um, they make night pants like that. I really like like, uh You know like nighttime jammies. They make really like big cups for your nuts and your balls. Yeah, I really love that It's really nice. Yeah, I wear these nighttime pants sometimes and my cock sits in this little just in this little bowl Like a little cock and it's like someone holding it up. Yeah, just gently And it's nice and soft and it feels like that's sometimes I love it. That's nice. Yeah, it's really nice. Do you Are you a fan of ball play? Do you like ball stuff? Sure go for everything do it Go for it. Give it give it to me. The only thing I never over the years The only thing I learned is one it takes me way too long to come from a blowjob

That's just an honest fact an unfortunate truth. I remember being like Getting my first one and I was like, wow, I'm never gonna come. This is bad Really? Yeah, it scared me and then I think it fucked with my head then for years I would thwart women from giving me blowjobs. Really? Yeah, because I well because I was like, can we just have sacks? Like, yeah, okay. Like if it was foreplay, it was like, let's just fuck because I was so scared that they were gonna be like Why can't he come from heard about multiple comics doing that as a like to like their to dalmatians on the road They'd be like, you want to know something? I can't come from a blowjob. Yeah, I just gotta stick it in and then the girls be like, uh-uh

He's like, it's never happened. I'm like, you have a half one from me and it was just to solicit. Oh, that's brilliant Yeah, that's smart. Yeah. No, mine's more pathetic. Mine's like, I just am in my head and I just can't You can't yeah, I just don't come that fast. Yeah, and then I get conscious. I'm like, she's been sucking my cock for way too long This is bad. I feel like a mean guy, you know, because then they kind of look at you like, uh, you're gonna come and you're like I don't know. I don't think so. I don't know. I'm sorry. And then they're like, am I bad at this and you're like kind of Kind of bad. Yeah, you're pretty bad. That's the best is when you get into their confidence They're like, what should I do? You like try harder and then they're Who are you?

That and I don't like I don't like I don't like super aggro. I like ball play, but I don't like it when people are like Like tough like what are you so fucking but people some people like hard weird shit. Yeah, I've seen those videos That's fun They like to get like smacked in the like even this that hurt that hurts on your balls You'll see people full on slapping the pulling one is weird when they you know, they rope the bag and they pull it down Or is that one we used to watch? I know we used to watch a brazilian video No, uh, it was uh, it was uh, argentine and it was uh, oh, they're they love shit like that the guy in the office It was the setup was um

He's in the office like waiting for an interview. You know, and he's like, uh waiting for the job And then she comes in she's like six two And heals like it looks like a real office worker and i'm here for jobs. Yeah, and so She right away is like how bad do you want the job? And he's like a lot and then Dude takes his pants off and he has the underwear on for a while and sometimes with the underwear is on you go Ah, this is probably a pad in there or something. Yeah, then the underwear comes off She starts kicking this guy in the balls

So what the heels what the heel? It makes me like inside makes me curl up. She um, she pulls Oh, dude Suffer she was like suffer Right, he's like and remember his his legs would shake so funny. That's the best comedy. She's like, uh, you used to ask me to play It made me laugh so hard What the fuck is this? I want to see blood. I want to see blood and then Out of my dick. No lady. Don't His the leg shaking is what made me laugh the most

And then he'd ask for more. It was like the weirdest thing I don't know how you can um, because honestly the pain of much much less than that Makes me collapse. Oh, yeah Funeral I fucking like I won't be able to move one tap one. So it's like how does this guy take this? It's I think at some point it's mental that they're just like they're so fucking deranged that it the pain is so intense It's like satisfying. You know when people do like they get these like Pain fucking mongers that are like the harder it is the more that the less they feel in a weird way because it's like so intense It takes over. I can't know too sensitive. I'm not interested in either. No, I don't like being hurt last week

Oh, go ahead. Go ahead. I was gonna say the but you made me think like the funniest porn scenario to me that I see That I watch the video, but it doesn't turn me on is you've been steal you caught you stealing. Have you ever seen that one? Oh my god, it's like it's so oh wait. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's like it's like the employee that's like you're my new employee And she's like I'm your new employee and he's like did you steal something? She's like, I don't think I took anything How how would I have taken something and he strips them down and of course they have something like Like insane. It's like a laptop that she stole in her like in her, you know in like her jeans Yeah, I saw you so stole this. He's like, I'm gonna have to punish you. I'll do anything and you're like It's such a poor poorly written scenario because scenarios now are getting

like they're either Insanely good and they turn me on or they're just So bad and so shitty and creepy like the brother sister shit. Yeah, I don't know So weird people love it Apparently it's fucking everywhere most popular. I think it's all incest things are super popular. Oh, I open up I open up porn hub any of those right away stepbrother fuck step sister and I like that they always say it Um, like who the role is they're like sis. She's like, yeah, bro Like you would talk like that to you

But it's to establish like excuse me sister mom said that you were gonna make lunch She's like, oh, I had lunch for you brother He's like, well fucking suck my dick then and then that's like the start to the scene and she's like fine If you'll shut up about it. Yeah God about making lunch. I haven't come to any of those videos today Maybe it's because I mean, I don't know. I'm just thinking about therapy thing. Like, are you have to repress? Looking at your I don't know how to have siblings like do you have to repress that shit so deeply? No, it's not it. I think it's a just an people of naughty. I think super taboo

It's not even the idea they would never fuck their sister ever gross disgusting But then they see that and they're like, it's so wrong like it's wrong to watch the wrong It's also because they're watching two strangers do it. Oh, right. It's not it's like your actual If a family member was even in your sexual zeitgeist, then you really have an issue But I think it's because they're like, I don't know these fucking people These are just two weirdos and I'm watching do weird shit. You're like that girl's really fucking her brother That's nuts. I definitely got to come to it. I see this But then wouldn't you think of your own relationship with your brother? I don't know. No, I don't know

We were sent this last week. Apparently I didn't know this but changing the subject I got to show this to Andrew. I got to see it. Um This this has been around for a couple years. I thought this was new to us Yeah, but this video has been around for a couple years. Okay. Um, I don't know if you've seen this But this is what's been around. Uh, we played it last week Oh, god, Julia It's me joe Just wanted to say hi

Wish you a great day Tell you that meeting you yesterday And getting a look at you was probably one of the greatest moments of my life. You were so beautiful You don't know how beautiful you are to me So I mean just you're gorgeous. You're precious. He met her at a club and got her number and then she woke up to this This nice guy inbox. Mm-hmm sweet guy sweet so far. Yeah, you're gorgeous He's got a good goatee. He combed his hair. He's got the fan running

I like this guy. He's almost two. It's it's a great goatee. It's in the in the in the world of goatees He's got it. That's the one. Oh, man. He's got a cute little butch in underneath there. So the more hair is growing in the crevice But it's been sitting in my mind when you said to me you want to go back with your ex-boyfriend Please erase him from your memory. Please don't ever go back in the past. I know because I've been there And I understand when you know, you're trying to find somebody and you go on dates and Nothing compares To your ex, but hold on. He was religious by the way. You did see the cross in the hallway. I saw it

I saw it. Well, this is just letting you know what kind of guy he is. Yeah, he's a good guy. He um He also will let her know that if she were to Not go back to rex And go with him That she would forget about her. I love you like you've never been loved before. I believe it. I will cherish you I'll make you feel like a real woman. He does like believe me after you experience me You won't even know who your ex-boyfriend is. Yeah, it's like I'm almost like that. I make you come right threat. Yeah Similar proposal. Yep. Yeah, and then a lot of cool guys on this podcast today

Creepy guy episode heart to me in your arms Both let's go full throttle. Oh, yeah, I could see me falling in love with you Just I don't know. I just slipped in your eyes and I just melt. Wow. This guy's a fucking romantic. Yeah, right? I'm liking this guy a lot. I like everything. He's gonna set this guy up with a sister with my sister. Come on. Yeah Let's see what else he's got to say. I mean, I'm so interested in this guy's rhetoric Do you when you for me when I see something like this my immediate feeling is like My new best friend my new best friend who I'm so humiliated for But I also go like because we're talking about last week that

This is what happens in my mind is I start thinking about embarrassing things that you've done Yes, yeah, and I get washed over with that shame I got I got videos. I got videos that are pretty similar to this. So yeah pretty close What's the worst one and how old are you? Pretty close 34 when the first one can now um probably

probably put out a little um I was probably on the cusp of the first round of dick pics and uh sent a Sent a halfy. I thought that was what's that like just not a fully just like a half a half chub, you know, like Okay, okay. Yeah, I've never gotten one because he and I hooked up in the time of Friendster Oh, yeah, I've never even so I've never sent my wife a dick pic. No chance. No when you sent this picture Like a half little halfy. Do you text it?

Yeah No, I think it was an email to be honest with you an email. Yeah, I think it was an email a pic emailed bold Is a response? Um No, and that probably is the that's probably the nail in the coffin. Yeah, and how did you meet this girl and like what's the It was like friend of a friend type of shit. Don't really know her that well a lot of flirting. Um, I thought Real horny. I'm gonna send you this penis pic Uh got no response and got uh nothing ever again. I think it was an indication of my

My lack of skill really? Yeah, was there um, but it wasn't at it like you weren't just like, oh, I met you Here's a dick pic. There was like a lot. No, there's a lot of communication And then she saw it ghost Yeah, not a cool penis by Not a cool penis by that's my name in my bio picture. Yeah, I'll send you the photo. Okay. Thanks. Yeah, and it's a it's just half It's half. That's yeah, but I here's what I'm thinking. It's like, hey, I'm getting excited I bet you it was it's better than you think it is. I think it got sent around to friends Yes, of course. Yeah, that hurts. Yeah, dick pic and I was like, ew. I'd show it to all my friends. Yeah

Do you hear people I painted a little face on it on the top? No, do you hear people call your city Chicago? Chicago. Yeah, yeah, for sure I don't like shy town either that bothers me so much. Really? It's we don't say that Right. It's like with someone being like the big apple. You're like no one's ever said that about new york Who the fuck who puts this out there where I'm from. I was born and raised here in the big apple. Yeah What about illinois with the hard ass? Yeah, what are you doing? Yeah, illinois. Nope. It's not. Yeah, chicago Yeah, shy town. You know, I never really shy city. Nope. I mean, no I never really picked up on the r in chicago chicago

It would be she would always joke if we especially if we were announcing dates And we're like, we'll be in chicago. We'll be in chicago and I would laugh intentionally and then chicago. Yeah, it's terrible then like the One week I go, oh, I was flying uh in the united way. I think I was going to denver and the lady On the on the you know, the pa system in that wing here at lax is like flight 26 28 To chicago is boring now and I was like no fucking way. It's like I had never paid attention to it Where does the r come from? They throw it in. Why I don't know. I think Because chicago

Sounds so dumb. I don't know people's of chicago. So it sounds like the guy they say in the city No, no. Yeah, but in chicago. It's such like a thick like chicago such a thick accent that the a's Depending on what part you're from so they say chicago. Ah, the emphasis is all in the ah But when people say chicago, it sounds like oh, oh there are chicago. That's where it comes from. Yeah, chicago chicago Yeah, but people in the city chicago. Yeah, yeah, it's like the most it's the worst It's almost as bad as like hearing a woman with a boston accent. That's the that's the most unattractive favorite I was I did my well

I did my um half hour for comedy central in boston and when I left some girls like uh, some girls like Hey, I'm trying to do a boston. She's like my friend thinks you are cute And I was like, yeah, she goes. Yeah, my friend wants to fuck you and I'm not I'm not making this up I had a slew of people around me. I go. Thank you very much. So my girlfriend's right there, you know 10 feet away another girl goes. I'm a friend. I'm think I want to fuck you like right there She's talking for her friend right there. I was like, this is the most sexy trashy My friend thinks she wants to fuck you. I'm her friend. I want to fuck you It's like boston has this like just brashness to it and that that baltimore accent is no good either

No, but or well philly. It's like a hails home over there. It's the same. It's like mid-atlantic Yeah uses sexy. Yeah. Oh, it's on it's on. I'll suck you dick. It's on Yeah, but chicago for some reason girls that have hardcore chicago accents. Yeah, especially if they're like You know chicago girls. You like it. It's just no, it's terrible. Oh, it's terrible. Yeah, because I thought you'd be like Chicago's got this like this like It's just sounds so dumb like you guys want to go out and fuck around and party. It's like this weird It sounds you sound dumb. It sounds dumb. It's not it's not hot I don't think there is I don't even the southern accent's not good for me either. I don't know what chic

Broadcasting sounds like you're cutting out most accents. I can't I don't like accents. Yeah, what are you into then? Just people just regular just regular old girls. Where's your uh wife from denver? Okay, they talk like us like people just like regular ass old people Yeah, she used to tell me though. She's like, oh, you know, you have a big accent I was like, I have a non-descript accent. No, when no when we started dating but christina You had that carolina thing. That's that get over here christina. Yeah christina get over here. Yeah, see that's exactly right Yeah, that's what my it's my dad's from north carolina and that's so but that's fun Those are fun accents. Yeah, come on. Come on boy. Christina. Is he from here from carolina?

Yeah, he's from this small town called valdez. Oh, yeah, it's about it's like this big Everybody over there boy andrew as I said andrew Well, how's hollywood boy? Shout out to randolph county Is good out there, huh? What's up in hollywood girls swimming pools? You doing drugs? You don't do drugs? No, I don't know. That's really how he talks That's how the the family talks. Yeah. Yeah, he doesn't he's lived in chicago for so long He doesn't but everybody else up there hollywood you fancy boy

Oh, you see when you're rich. Oh, it's big big on that. I get that from friends from the south my foreign Cousins have less references to show business. So they go a how is A hollywood mr. Steven Spielberg I'm not a director and they're like you are a spielberg to you Spielberg to me. Yeah, where are these people from peru? Oh, wow Spielberg. I tell everyone that my cousin is Steven Spielberg Okay, you are kind of you look a lot alike. Yeah, we have beards little tiny jewish guy. Yeah, same thing I like the southern accent that I mean The one thing I don't like is the valley I grew up in the valley

Yeah, that's like, but I really don't like is I hate vocal fry and upspeak and I feel like A lot of girls now are doing this That's the one I'll agree that that's the worst of all the one but that's but that's not even like a regional thing That's like a cultural made-up thing. Yeah, it's not even from a place. It's just kind of like People have just made up. Yeah. Yeah, it's Megan and I have been together for nearly three years She's a beautiful girl who I'm very much in love with and I have a lot in common with I can't wait to get home and jump in the pool. Oh, it's a man Yeah

Cool. Yeah, that's a man who could kill us. I guess I can shit on every accent like San Diego tough I can't like dude that'd be a great special if you did a special shitting on action You just shit on every no every single accent You just like you know accent you start with one that everyone's like yeah, that accent sucks And you just keep every one of them. You just do every accent. It's fucking brits. San Diego is fucking like We're down there faking. We were fucking rib-ended and I like that one. That's what I grew up with. I like it That's like but how can you be a professional with that? You can't bro. No, it's okay, bro So basically your w9 is faking totally filled out. It's such a weird spot on it. You can't be a pro with that

What about this sexy accent? Anyhow, I'm heading off to work. This is my cute little home. Everything you see behind me I built everything every square inch from crown mold into chair rail to floors to lighting to plumbing Doors windows it didn't go but not the roof. I don't fuck with roofs He said he did electric and plumbing too He's a sweet guy. He is sweet. He's also like that if that guy's your friend. He is he's like you want to ride to the airport Oh, my god, oh, yeah, he's like dude. I'll drop you off at the airport. Then I'll wait for you to fly back That's true

And he would if like if you said that something broke. Yeah, he'd be like don't hire somebody. What you know, I'll do it You know, I'll come by he's I'll pay for the parts What are you talking about man? It's me. It's any I get you the parts So this is the type of guy you're getting. I'm a very handy guy handy Yeah, I'd love to build you whatever you want. What do you want a vanity sweetheart? Address her I hope this video doesn't scare you

It does. That's how I sure does. I just want you to know that know that I look forward. Um going out to dinner with you Anyway, you want you order what you want to order appetizers child, baby You're all right, baby Do you want to get one of them? Expressos afterwards I'll pay for that too bothers me so much library Come on. Yeah, we are the we hate all that library. Expresso Ambulance amber the amber lamps amber lamps supposedly supposedly is tough. Yeah, or or uh, uh, Especially especially especially all intensive purposes. Yeah

Irregardless irregardless is used all the time all intensive purposes. I gotta admit. I thought that was until about 36 Intensive yeah, I also thought until I was I think a few years in that dating her I thought the expression was ahead of the curb. Yeah ahead of the curve. Well, okay. How about this one? I didn't think I was like, yeah, I didn't I was like, well the curb you want park away That would make sense a little bit though. Is it kitty corner or catty corner? Oh Catty corner, right? See I say kitty corner Kitty but it is catty corner. It is it is but for years. I know a bunch of people that say kitty corner

Maybe it was accent threw you off. I mean it was one of those dumb fucking acts kitty corners. Yeah That's cat a corner from over there cat a corner. He's saying kitty cat a corner. I thought it was combative. Remember you did think that Combative yeah, and she called me out when I was like it was this combative situation. She's like, I'm sorry What did you call it? I'm like the correct word. She's like, it's combative. It's compa batted if I have two parents. Hello Yeah, that's not your fault. Yeah, they spoke English wrong. English is language. Yeah. Yeah, man. Come on No, it I don't learn English from the television. I had one foreign parent and it definitely you just hear wrong shit all your whole life It's all you hear from me. I know there's so many we don't have the other if I didn't have them to balance it out I don't know what I would be saying right now. I know there's no way I would talk for a living

But but tv fixes all that it does help. Yeah for sure That's fucking wild and also um your friends coming over and being like your mom says that dumbest fucking shit. I know that too That helps that helps quicken it out parent your friends are always like what she's saying I'm like it's just I'll tell you later like don't worry about it ignore I like I used to love going over to friends houses and the parents would yell at them in a foreign language I loved that. I thought that was so fun. It was so personal in their own little thing You gotta heard that plenty in our homes. I like that though. That made me Because then you don't know how much trouble they're in you're like oh shit. What did she say to him?

It always sounded more intense. Oh, fuck. Yeah, like like when my mom would yell She's not like a huge yell or all that but when she would yell it sound like oh, you definitely you're grounded, right? Yeah, you're fucked and I'm like no she just she told me to finish dinner Yeah, clean up the plates. Yeah, stop fucking around I had this is a crazy situation. I have to tell you this happened two days ago. I'm walking home back in the neighborhood A water balloon almost hits my wife in the face I mean like an inch you're walking in your neighborhood walking in the neighborhood water balloon almost it

And you know those big mac mansions that are all around west hollywood. Okay, so there's like three in a row on my street and I mean i'm talking like literally just breezed pastor And I was like what the fuck I look up lights are off lights are off in this other home And I'm like it came you can just tell you know, you know where it came from Yeah, I go to the first house, you know bring the doorbell, you know, she's like come on. Let's go and I'm like no Fuck that. Fuck like I'm I'm on one. I'm like no this guy comes out I'm like you got kids that live here, man

You guys like what no he barely speaks English. No I go kids. Do you have kids? No no no go to the next house Ring ring ring. I see lights going on and off and I'm like they're there. I know they're there finally ring again Guy gets on the intercom Can I help you? I said you got teenagers to live here, man? He goes. Yeah, why I go My wife almost got hit in the fucking face with a water balloon. He goes what hold the fuck on Guy I'm not kidding. I fell in love with this guy instantly. He comes outside comes at the gate and he goes Are you fucking serious and I go, yeah, she almost hit her in the face man. That's fucked up I mean that could have really fucked her up. I mean just from a two-story roof

And he goes you want to scare the shit out of my kid? I go. Yeah, sure. Okay He goes hold hold on he comes goes upstairs Brings down this little skinny little 15 year old kid I mean, you know like skin and bones and his little tiny asian friend who's probably just never ever been in trouble in his entire life And he comes downstairs and he's got he's pushing him towards me And he goes tell him what you did Tell him what you did and the kid's like, uh, we we threw and I go you draw throw a water balloon on my wife He goes, yeah, I did I did and I go you apologize to her face right now

He's I'm so sorry like I mean I mean you could tell he's like breaking down and then and then his dad goes You know what I told him The kids like huh and he goes I told him he could hit you once And I didn't know he was gonna throw that at me. So I'm kind of like even as a stand-up. I was like, oh, shit. That's funny Yeah, that's very and I go I go. Yeah, he did he said that to me And he goes, yeah, I told him he could hit you one time and the kid is look I mean he's genuinely like because his dad did not look like his dad looked like a fucking tough piece of shit too Yeah, I guess dad was a punk motherfucker who's like, yeah, I told him he hit you in the face both of you and he's like

No, but I but we're sorry I mean and then he's like kind of hiding behind his dad like no no no And I go come out here come outside come outside the gate And he goes do it do what the fucking man says And at some point I'm like I have to stop doing that. My wife is giving me like that This is fucking insane. Yeah, he pushes his son towards the edge of the gate And I go I go give me your hand and he's like Give me your hand. He gives me his hand and I shook his hand. I go don't throw shit at people anymore. He was like

I watched his whole body like oh my god He thought I was gonna like pull his fucking armors do some fucked up. His dad is a real one though Dude, so after he sends the kid every send the kid inside. I give him a big handshake and you know We're talking a while You know and I was he goes thanks for dude. Thank that helps me sometimes out of that You know, he's like, I don't know if these fucking kids to control these fucking assholes I was like, dude, I was a punk piece of shit when I was a kid But he's like he's like, yeah, but if I don't do stuff like this they just do whatever the fuck they want. He's right

Yeah, he's like, I usually take a belt to him. I beat the shit. Oh and I was hoping I was waiting for him to be like Yeah, no, I'll crack him in the fucking head when you leave But he kept saying it the way he said it to him because I told him he could punch you I told him he could hit you once It's almost like he said that before and now it's finally gonna happen. Right. Right. He goes. I'll let somebody hit you That's fucking brilliant dad. It's awesome, dude You know, I think about that you really shouldn't be fucking throwing, you know, like dude That is not gonna throw those balloons off. No, I mean you could he I watched you watched him

Go through the waves of like oh panic Like genuine fear at like actually feelings like scared like hurt like gonna cry type of shit Like you watch him go through all those as a teenager like because you're what you're doing dumb shit as a tea You don't think about anything. You're like fun. We're just fucking around And if you get away with one level then you go to the next level like I remember, you know It starts with like egging something. Oh, yeah next you're gonna steal some shit from the place Next you're gonna vandalize like if you don't get drugs or hooking, you know, you give out hand jobs You do job you start hooking once start eating guys asses on the street then I'm planning up, you know

I'm wet you're doing crazy shit Wet wet as a teenager. I remember until I got caught doing stuff. You just keep it keeps escalating It's normal though. You're testing boundaries. Yeah, what can I get away with how much shit can I fuck up? Sure Oh, man, I was such a punk fucking kid. We used to garage hop. You know what that is That's such a midwest when people leave their people in the garage midwest leave their garages open You know like, you know, because they drove their car home and they're doing something in or outside coming and going They just leave it up. Yeah, we would go in there and steal whatever they had in there Oh, shit beer mostly is what you're hunting for because in the midwest most people have fridges in their garages

They use hunt for beer and then also if there's some other shit take it all just take everything you can Cool, man. It's got nine iron. I'm just gonna take this. Yeah. Fuck. I like golf taken You know, we were just pieces of shit. We tried to break and steal and do whatever we could Yeah, you test the boundaries. Yeah, then you get hit by dad and and you know, you stop That's great because I think about our two boys. You're gonna have to regulate dude. You gotta god You gotta let them get punched by a stranger Yeah You do have to let them be, you know, get checked. You don't do them. Dad's gotta check them

But you have to let them get checked publicly. That's cool. I don't know why he trusted me because I don't I don't I look like I have it together Yeah, but for some reason like what a bad move if he was like go ahead hit my kid. I'm like Fuck yeah, what are you doing? You told me to hit him, bro. I thought you fucking had some sense to you No, no. All right. Get the fuck out of here. He's like, sorry good Yeah, how did he know you were a decent human being? That's pretty crazy I think it's the conversation we had beforehand was pretty pretty obvious I said, yeah, he almost hit my wife in the face. He knew I was gonna punch a kid with a woman with me

Yeah, that's right. That's right. But if I was alone, yeah, you kid almost hit me with the balloon He'd have been like, uh, okay, fuck off. He's like get these brass knuckles. Put these on Really hit my kid. I fucking knock his teeth out. Rack is fucking. Jesus. Um, where can people are you are you rode in it? Are you rode dog in it in and out a little bit? Um, um in Chicago Right here on the car on Chicago. I go back to Chicago. Where are you gonna go? I'm gonna be at the bee kitchen playing two shows on Friday night doing my own thing because I played venues there And then it's home for me. So I was like, I'm just gonna do my own little thing for you. Yeah So I'm doing that, uh, Friday, uh, Friday the 21st. That's this week and then

The next the following weekend the 26th in September. I'll be Madison, Wisconsin comedy on state amazing club favorite fucking club. Andrew's one of the best comics working today You gotta go see him do stand. Absolutely. I've seen you multiple times. It's the best So funny. You have a special out that people can watch. Yeah, it's on showtime. Yeah, you can watch it on showtime If you don't have showtime, I've ripped it on my twitter. Go to my twitter. There you go. Yeah, because showtime has this weird You know, they don't let Whatever they don't call home field advantage home field advantage shot it at chicago in chicago But yeah, go go rip it off my twitter if you don't have showtime

I don't give I was like fuck because I asked them. I was like, can I permission dude? You guys hide this stuff Yeah, I people need to see it if it's not on netflix. It's like I don't think they know that they're like it's hard to find So they were like, no, we can't give you clips or anything So I ripped it myself and I was like, go ahead. Fine. Actually, it's not on my account somebody else's youtube. So And I'll just keep putting it up if they keep taking it down. There you go. Yeah, man. Home field advantage Ender Santino Welcome And for tickets is it ender santino dot com. Ender Santino dot com. Yeah. All right. Um, you were fantastic. Yeah, thanks for coming

Appreciate it. Uh, I'm gonna stay here. All right. We'll see you guys next week. This is uh an old one here. This is what ali Zimzer, what is it? What's it called double pipe classic? Okay. All right. Bye guys. Thank you Oh With my Finger my eyes I shadowed on With my hands Finger my eyes

Yes