Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - 607 - Nate Bargatze - Your Mom's House with Christina P and Tom Segura

Episode Date: June 9, 2021

SPONSORS: - Go to https://saatva.com/theshit for $200 off your order! - Go to https://stamps.com, click on the microphone at the top of the homepage and type in MOM to get a a 4-week trial PLUS free postage and a digital scale. - Use code HOUSE for 50% off 2 or more pairs at https://shadyrays.com - Buy One, Get One Free. - Get 20% Off and free shipping at https://manscaped.com/MOM. - Head to https://squarespace.com/MOM for a free trial and use the offer code MOM to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. - Visit https://expressvpn.com/YOURMOM and you can get an extra three months of ExpressVPN FREE. - Go to https://theragun.com/MOM right now and get your Gen 4 Theragun TODAY. - Go to https://whoop.com and use code “YOURMOM” at checkout to save yourself 15% off today. - To get 15% off your first order and free shipping go to https://meundies.com/MOM. HIGH AND TIGHT!!! This week, Tom Segura and Christina P discuss Tila Tequila, American Ninja Warrior, women's sports, why women are afraid of Tom, and the Men's Wearhouse chairman who was fired. They watch a guy confess to a cop UNPROMPTED, a cool scientist, and a girl flubbing Bert Kreischer's name. Nate Bargatze is a comedian and the host of the "Nateland" podcast. He joins the Main Mommies to discuss growing up with a magician father, how he met his wife at Applebee's, Nashville hot chicken, and filming his Netflix special "The Greatest Average American." Tom and Tina show him videos of a Russian guy fighting a bear, a truck almost driving off a cliff, a guy falling off a roof, and this week's TikTok curations.

I'm really afraid of it. I don't want to taste brown and I'm afraid of his go with a shit I know it's funny to hear this like my sister is a big fan of this podcast. I mean, it's I'm gonna look at her different. We're gonna have a different relationship Crazy Crazy Man, you know what that reminds me of and do the Harlem shake remember the Harlem shake is that what that show is called? There's a little bit of that in there, right? This is a this is a man that's got to be from 20

How long ago is that? That's Redondo. Dude it's 2013. That's that's Redondo right? That jam's from 2013. Dunburn and I love this was one of the first pieces of merch I loved. The greasy. The greasy shirt and it was gray. Dunburn and greasy. Dunburn and we actually got him to reply back then because everybody kept hitting like you know it was a smaller audience but like he's getting tagged and I don't know 100 plus things a day they're like why are you saying greasy yeah and then he did he goes it's it's coming up some of my Kentucky charm I think for my how I was right. I did not remember that. They did a new release of audio where he was like greasy because we all we did was make fun of her saying greasy but what was the product called

Australian dream Australian dream and that that one I forget who made that one because Ghost Crew did another one so we had two oh yeah we had two big greasy songs yeah yeah the other one starts off with a wait darn darn no that was that one that was this one yeah this is the the Ghost Crew ones this one oh this is such a good one yeah yeah I'm Chuck Woolery yeah I'm Chuck Woolery I don't like taking pills pills but I have found something that works ready Australian dream I love those guys they greasy but they know yeah that's pretty great oh my god that was a banger Chuck was the man no he's not um he's no he's not he's saying right he was saying crazy shit on

Twitter he's he's out of his fucking mind yeah yeah he's losing it did you know Tila Tequila lost her damn mind too I have not thought of her in a while yeah well we were talking about her on WMA how that VH1 block of reality shows were just it was such a golden time for reality shows yeah it was like Rock of Love Tila Tequila the bisexual dating show remember that yeah that's that's what she got famous from no she was famous from Myspace she was the most famous person on Myspace and they gave her I remember I was friends with Chris Aurego who did a lot of those well how did she's got famous for being like hot and posting pictures right I think so yeah she was just like a Myspace hoe and then remember we went to go watch I Love New York get taped because

my my friend was working on it and you hated it you hated being on reality show oh my god that I hate that I hated that so much yeah I showed up and I was like because right away they were like there's some of the cameras like hey man I was like and then people are having these manufactured conversations with you they came over like so what's going on like not the way that anybody would greet you you know and I was like um yeah I don't want to do this it is terrible yeah well there were those were crazy that was a different time so uh but we love I love those reality shows I am now into a new show American Ninja Warrior I did not know this existed I haven't watched regular TV in a decade she actually this was on and she actually was like shh shh shh

she was like hold on hold on I was like what and then she went to brush her teeth we were in a hotel she went to brush her teeth and they came back from commercial and she ran out of the bathroom she was like I gotta see what you think she's gonna make this the obstacle course I was like what are you talking about I had high hopes for the gentleman who was in his 50s and he'd been training and he is in really good shape but that guy was almost 60 he he almost made it to the end the last wall he did it was really impressive I you know what I like about American Ninja Warrior you know tell us is that these are everyday people everyday Americans what are you pitching the show but this is what the executives heard I know this is why I love it so but this is how they got me

is because you think to yourself this could be me I could be the next you're right America that's definitely what's happening but you can't stupid because you know how you have to be in such good shape to be the American Ninja Warrior what I'm always on the cutting edge you guys really are is it still on are there new episodes there are did you guys know that you can just say hey Siri and your phone will do what you want it to do my god I love this show is it is it running still though yeah it's a good it's a hit because it's a good show man but here's what I've noticed about American Ninja Warrior like we want to think that like oh chicks can do everything I'm sorry on American Ninja Warrior they're not as strong

as the guys I've noticed that the men just kill those courses in such a shorter time and the women take like triple the time and they're not as good they're not as efficient I've I've been saying this for years women are not as good at anything yeah I don't mean that oh sorry my bad but I'm just saying yeah and this the episodes I've seen of American Ninja Warrior so far you know there are women that can can complete the course but it takes a lot longer do you feel like women's sports are kind of charity events I do I think that they're not as exciting to watch because look I am all equal rights duh obvi yeah I just think hey sorry guys are built differently they can play things a lot harder basketball I'm not I'm not a big sports person

anyways oh my god basketball it's it's no no so hilarious to watch like NBA highlights and then WNBA highlights and you're like all right I mean I respect them but okay I don't know where you see these but see maybe I'm not I'm not the best person to say this stuff because I don't watch do you want to watch fundamentals and uh but then again good chess passes but hold on but hold alley-oop off the backboard with Tomahawks and you're like oh my god but however y'all know if you look at tennis I mean no women's tennis is kills incredible so that's not universally true what we're saying that's totally maybe in basketball the athleticism involved there's a different type of athleticism yes the the athleticism for tennis totally different Serena

could kick so many dude's asses so that's silly for me to say that yeah what else is there a soccer I don't know yeah women's soccer is good okay football there's no such thing right no such thing yeah now what about the UFC are they're female yes and they're excellent and they kick ass they're excellent so we know that amazing female fighters yes so I take it back on that but I will say look in the terms of american ninja warrior so far I've seen that the men really excel yeah an american ninja warrior I mean of all the sports they really do well I think you're right that american ninja warriors very male-dominated yeah maybe the courses are just now here's another one though when it comes to the uh yeah I don't know when it comes to the olympics women crush in

a lot of olympics you know they the gymnastics gymnastics is chicks all day bro chicks all day dudes can't do that women can do uh yeah the ice skating stuff is chicks guys are just accessories there that's true so yeah yeah it just depends on what you like really I think I'm sorry basketball I think I don't I don't watch well here's a thing I mean those dudes are like fucking walking buildings you know they're like six ten and like you don't have women that size and then they're not only so massive what's that oh this is a women's football league the lingerie football league yeah so to watch when taking it seriously girls huh yeah that's what I'm talking about fuck yeah it's one of my favorite sports but um that's so dope now that's just silly that's

just yeah no it's totally it's just to look at disrespect it's an ass but what were we talking about before I got distracted by all that pussy up there what was that we were talking about about American Ninja Warrior and how basketball and basketball but also the athletic like you don't have multiple people with 40 inch verticals in women's but it just doesn't happen right I think also um women's weightlifting is interesting there some of them are really good at that that's fun some are really good plus the whole time you're like that's a chick yeah damn I saw a girl on instagram who's an olympic lifter who weighs like 120 pounds what and she was doing unbelievable power cleans and I was like holy she was tiny I mean just had the most incredible technique

and yeah I mean these like real savage shit like you can't just the the strongest um female olympic lifter like it's not like some duke just walking and do that like no no fucking way no that's different and running aren't women good at running too flojo I remember flojo yeah sprinting sprinting sure I just think and maybe this is stupid and misinformed and a stupid thought but you could correct me if I'm wrong that the is the female body might be more inclined with our musculature and the way our balance is to be better at certain things whereas a male body due to its design yeah each yeah yes you know have strength and weakness is either direction absolutely but physiologically obviously like men have certain advantages most

men how we're building strength strength well yeah like our killer strength our our tendons are our bones at like the muscles you know naturally are bigger and made to be stronger yes you know I agree most of the most of the time most of the time now there are some other women that can kick some dude's asses of course yeah but by and large you guys could all snap my neck pretty easily I'm if I wanted to fight any of you yeah it would be a kind of weird fight Chris Larson maybe I could have a fighting chance with him I gotta tell you something he'd kill you he'd kill me you think Chris would kill me yeah babe but I did I don't think I think he would not want to but then he'd be like you know I had to I'm sorry well what would he do and then

he'd take snap my neck some fucking like uh peter rap and put some hummus on him guys so sweet yeah and he'd tell me he's like I'm really sorry I killed Christina wait a minute you mean to tell me in a fight he could kick my ass definitely what yeah is there anybody's ass I could kick not here it's easy you could kill her yeah easily do you know I mean do you ever think about that what that's like to be in a position of vulnerability yeah not a lot of times no like I could be killed raped murdered by all of you at any time yeah and it's really just your civility that stops it from happening I'm at the mercy of everybody's civility essentially well women are all the time women are yeah yeah half the world is scary yeah it's scary is at the whim

of male aggression and that's gnarly I think about it like yeah you know when you see a woman alone right like you know yeah should I rape her well that thought doesn't usually I told you the elevator thing I do that on elevators you rape them with your eyes no when I get off an elevator if we're getting onto a hallway it's a you're riding elevator with a woman you get off at the same floor I immediately go she might be scared right now obviously yeah especially you especially at night oh my god I so a lot of times I'll say something like I'm not gonna hurt you no no I'm not gonna hurt you I don't know that would terrify her oh I'd be like damn no that guy's sweet I'll say I'll say something I'll be like oh I'm staying I'm saying you want me to walk ahead of you I'll

say stuff like that you know I'll try to be yeah yeah because I imagine that she might be like fucking bald crazy guy exactly yeah yeah okay or you walk into it you're walking into a remember I was walking into an apartment building one time and it was late and I was like I saw the woman like see me and started to walk faster out pulled out my keys I was like I live in the building too like I have keys don't think I'm following you you know yeah and then one time one time I saw a lady get scared so I chased her we both got off a bus together and she was like and I was like I'm gonna run after you did your dad have to tell you growing up don't rape women never don't assault women don't hit like so that's not something that you teach boys you don't have to teach them that

as long as you're modeling the good behavior yeah you don't have to like tell them don't you'd never have to say yeah don't rape don't rape yeah those are broken fucked up dudes yeah wow they're not the next american ninja warrior here's the opening we didn't even do the opening clip I'm from Palm Springs I'm 55 years old and I'm gonna be America's next ninja warrior you ready yeah I'm ready here we go I'm sorry he punched me first I told him to leave me the fuck alone the nigga kept talking me crazy this dude right there I told him to leave me alone man he kept talking me crazy and he I punched his ass I'm sorry I don't think we're here for you oh okay I'm sorry my bad sorry who was right don't bring anyone loving

to this welcome to your mom's house with Tom Segura and Christina Pajitz in welcome to your mom's house so I like how Nadav wrote we would never hurt you on the board yeah like I would worry about that if anybody were to rape or assault me let's see who would it be Christina no one would yeah don't even suggest some that's that's why I write it it's because you're like at any second any one of them could just come and jump me and we wouldn't we wouldn't do that that's I know I know but I'm just thinking in a theoretical parallel universe like who's the rapist who's gonna attack

me this is not a fun game yeah nobody wants to hear your answer okay all right well I mean them you don't want to know who feels the most threatening no you oh it's Tom guys definitely who's gonna fucking kill me what could I do that would make you kill me like seriously or you're just like I'm gonna fucking snap this bitch's neck you really want to know yeah like what would push you to physical violence with me is there something I could do god this is why I wish I the fart mic we had hummus for lunch oh god did you hear it yeah it's always after lunch that I missed the fart mic so much yeah would you kill me if I ruined every sneeze moving forward yes yes that's a good way to get it done it would take a lot for you know

give me to snap your neck what if I well just tell me what I don't know I'm trying nothing really comes to mind I steal I kidnap your children and I move to some other state and I steal your money yeah that'll do it you want to give that a try just to see if you'll do it yeah I just want to see if you'd kill me the call I'll call chicken called bullshit yeah that would do it that would do it yeah if I stole your kids that's obvious isn't it no no if you steal my kids I think I'm pretty much on a life mission to ruin yours yeah whoever does that yeah yeah that's a good one can't steal someone's kids no that's terrible it's the worst thing you could do no it's a party you just went all the way to 10 right away we didn't build up to it no stop fucking doing it why

okay you want to know how to snap your neck if you keep fucking doing that guys this is so silly because the audience loves when I fight no they don't crying for the fart mic no no look look at all the head shaking there was a twitter you're not the audience the audience is who's listening these guys are connected yeah we monitor the audience the twitter account okay teller go ahead speak up created for fart mic they don't like it that is not true every time I hear you talk about it the comments are always just like no we can't have that fart mic the fart mic not only do they not like the fart mic they also don't like me talking about farts like wanting to fart wanting to discuss how a fart went they don't like any of that that's not true that is not true

I doubt that sometimes sometimes I see the comments you're trying to tell me that I mean you just shattered my whole assumption about your mom's house that people enjoyed fart talk that was a while ago what do you mean a while ago that's old stuff I just farted again they want it to progress you know oh stop I'll snap your fucking neck I think we find out how to get you to kill someone not like take away your fart talk yeah I mean who doesn't like fart and brown I doubt that Yana I highly doubt the validity of that statement your honor what about this guy you think he likes it you see my magnetic driver I actually have to make the basic blueprints not to be so discretion well perhaps to do so for the safety measures of

the technology what yeah what was that guy talking about what the scientists yeah we're off the top of my head on this one you got h2c and that releases the magnetic properties of nalbium into the decaying rate of nalbium 2 which is actually a form of radioactive material that kind of enhances when the nalbium loses someone understands this they're like an engineer listening that oh no there's there's a few do you understand what's happening yeah this guy's just talking about all the science that he knows and he needs to cut his nails and how like radioactive decay works and stuff yeah it's real smart I don't know enough to know if he's on it or not but he's uh you see

he's not smarter than me there's nothing grosser than long nails on men it really grosses me out because I think of them fingering your cooch and then cutting your cooch up with those long nails like dirty under what do you want you know what I think about when I think of fingering I always think of that guy that was on uh chewy on chewy bravo it was on chelsea yeah and watching his porno yeah and he fingered that girl like so aggressively yeah I always think his little fingers fingering me too and he was so aggressive yeah his digits were so tiny he should not have been so hard so wild that he did a porn and then I think of niki glazer she says she likes to get fracked she goes I like to I like to get fingered hard like it's frat fracting fracking fracking fracking oh that was

pretty funny really she said that on our show I don't remember I think about it a lot hard she likes to get a hard fingering yeah nice okay yeah you know certain stuff just sticks in your head for like months you know it's interesting about that's gross though yeah you're talking about like long nails and fingering and obviously you're into your farts you think that it's really disgusting to pick bugs and flick them yeah yeah but then there's this yeah I don't want to be done with you yeah I heard that man well what did I do with it I just probably put it in an napkin it's right there in the finger yeah but I didn't flick it you didn't see me flick it I rolled it up and I put it in my pocket you didn't see the second half of that footage well that's where they cut off the clip so yeah well

it's too bad guys you almost had me says flicks it but yana uh the evidence all I see the evidence is that I may have picked my nose and I put it in my finger there was no flicking so it sure looks like you're rolling it up to flick it it looks like I'm rolling it it doesn't look like um there's never any tissues where you guys sit so I'd be interested to know what you did with it how do you know I didn't put it in my pocket and save it for later ew you put it in your pocket I have pocket almonds is this a save like is that better than you've seen me eat almonds out of my pocket and out of the bottom of my purse maybe I keep boogers there too you don't know what I didn't flick it yana the evidence did not reveal

by the way how much better do I look with bangs I'm really glad you made me get these things look great yeah it's so much better I I look so much better I like the bangs a lot more me too and and yeah okay bangs okay legs all right bangs PJ masks I have to tell that Nick is a really cool guy and happy birthday Nick fuck baby yeah yeah white cars and queens above 18 baby fuck yeah baby yeah I love him yeah he's always so hyped about whatever he's doing yeah he's like it's the weekend baby fuck yeah it's the weekend yeah he says the F word so much mm-hmm yeah I like it though but I like his enthusiasm he's got a lust for life he does have a lust for life and somebody got pulled this too somebody asked I guess I don't know if this chick was doing some random live about

her favorite comedian what's the stand-up's name again Burt Christinger you can look up hey big boy or um the machine those are some of his stand-ups yeah the Burt Christinger Burt Christinger big fan she's Christinger that's actually closer yeah it's bet it's like it's the best attempt at fucking up his name yeah Burt Christinger wow I know I've heard I've heard every miss fucking what do we have in here so far people can't say christier I know it's Burt Christinger it's so funny the the library keeps growing library library Bruce Christer Bruce would you go on American Ninja Warrior fuck no you wouldn't make that a goal like we could go on as a couple no you don't even want to try the wall

my body broke trying to jump oh yeah forgot about that it's only five months ago yeah I mean what when's my goal hey I really want to do your show in 2026 like the amount of time it would take me to rehab and what if they did like a lesser version like American American junior ninja warrior yeah like not so ninja warrior sure me and other kids try and I'm like you fucking suck it yeah how about America out of shape ninja warriors then I could do that one that'll be fun see American gave up warrior that's what I want see it's one thing to watch super fit Americans but let's watch super out of shape Americans try obstacle courses that might be a better show you in you're asking me specifically yes and no one else in this room correct yeah yeah how much

here's the thing it's all about the uniforms he would have to wear a unit hard yeah like a borat onesie like that onesie like I have to be in a costume well it's all about us watching your body as you do it that's going to be what's fun is how your body by the way you're going to see a lot like the type of injury I had will happen on that show it'll be someone like going to run push off and then they'll be like oh my god his leg shattered like shit like that a lot of horrible or hilarious moments the show will have to pay for so many surgeries oh definitely half the show is going to be like the follow along guy he brings his shoulder just tore out of his fucking system yeah it's a great show it is grand it was gone or just having middle-aged men try to shoot hoops

like you or just like the show could be called like you want to see fat people get injured yes that's what I'm talking about yeah America in the world loved your basketball video so much you brought so much joy to people with that video I really did I really did just get America's middle aged I feel like I answered the question to people used to go like why do you laugh at why do you laugh at people getting in and then mine and then people who I don't know who don't follow the show I saw people go this is the funniest like they think it's funny I know they like it I don't know why I get picked on for laughing at injuries no well there you go you made your own injury video so now you have every right to laugh at other people yeah speaking of so I you know you and I for years

have made jokes about the men's warehouse tagline you're gonna like the way you look I guarantee it did you know that the men's warehouse guy who says that line that was the boss the CEO yeah I know he's kicked out that they squeezed him out and he no longer that was a while ago was that a while ago oh yeah guys have you heard of wireless earbuds really changed my life Jesus Christ that men's warehouse guy started a whole other company and like really yeah yeah yeah oh I did not know where they got me got fired this is an article written in 2013 oh my gosh I I didn't see this on Friendster I didn't know have you heard of vine yes why men's warehouse fired George yeah why would

2013 why would they fire him well I've been a behind I've been making small children do you know what it says there you tell me fire less right now as executive chairman with no explanation by the company fans furiously took to the brand's Facebook page to lament the departure of Zimmer and I liked his whole you're gonna like the way you look yeah here's that smoker's voice yeah you're gonna like the way you look I guarantee it was really heavy in heart well it worked because it was so natural and so real and it didn't it felt like you shouldn't be doing the commercials and you knew that and that's why it worked yeah so it looked like it was a public company that he tried to once he got the board of directors he was like oh I don't like how little control I have

so he tried to get control back and they're like now you're out you're out but he did start another company if you go to his um if you back up to like the search and you see his uh hit his Wikipedia there on the right scroll down yeah hit that you have to tell him the dog had a search I was going there he was going there so okay he's four executive chairman former CEO of men's warehouse yeah to 2011 when he was ousted um it's current news guys what's his what's his uh I know he had another company found okay he's uh of generation tux oh an online tuxedo and suit rental plop so that's what he and z tailors okay so he stayed in the same space I thought he was ousted for talking about cum in the like in the jacket lining right that was yeah

that's what I read back then that he was like I'm gonna come like he said something like there's cum in every jacket I swear to God yeah he's like you want to know how we get the seams so tight yeah I come in them and then they were like you're out of here man that's what I heard yeah me too it's like I and there's supposedly audio clips of him doing that oh wow like scandal he goes I personally masturbate into every jacket and suit lining look at it says right there you will come at least three times I guarantee it see maybe that's from the time you got fired you will come at least three times you want to wear one of my jackets you're gonna come come in all the pockets all right speaking of cum we have a guest here and why don't we

take a quick break and we'll be back with our great guest just a moment and we're back with our guests he's an absolutely hilarious comedian you may have seen his specials on netflix the Tennessee kid and the greatest average american Nate Bargatsis all right thank you you did say the most before I did say the most average the most average which is it it is uh it's pretty insulting like the greatest average is like a fun that's why I didn't name it the most average right right right the most average would have been like he's just no that's how people describe the show they go how is it they go it's the most average but he but he's the greatest average if you claim it yeah you claim to be the greatest yeah you are the greatest average american yeah I yeah I ate the

I say the day we taped that special I ate it uh I'm blanking on the name what's the force gump restaurant shrimp yeah really but yeah I ate it like an hour before we taped you ate a bubble grump shrimp bubble yeah it's not bubble grump bubble gump gump yeah ate a bubble gump yeah right before it yeah scrunch yeah how was it I mean it was great it feels like kind of a risky move right before it takes yes I would not my body's pretty trained for that yeah and so I don't get like uh are you a hot chicken guy do you do that they uh not crazy you know a very funny with hot chicken so Prince's hot chicken is the kind of old famous one now they have haddy bees the haddy bees is amazing too and had bees always has a line around the block and everything the

the dude that runs it uh big comedy fan like uh yeah and he's like a great dude and uh they're haddy bees is awesome and Prince's is awesome too but so I never really went to Prince's and long time ago Hannibal Burris was in town and he came and he was like let's go to Prince's so when you go to Prince's you got to pay cash at that time and so I didn't have cash on me and then Hannibal's like all right because I'll just get it because I'll get it back from you later I was like Hannibal just did spider-man at that point I'm like Hannibal I'm not tracking you down giving you this ten dollars just so you know you just buy it for me you just buy it I will never give it to you and then they uh it's it's uh and Prince's it's a black-owned restaurant been there

forever so Hannibal gets his food they do not give me my food we sit down and eat I feel like I was a part of reverse racism they sit down and eat and they uh he ate all his food and then we were done and then they brought mine I was like well I got to get it to go now we're already done and I thought and so I got to tell Hannibal I was like oh I get what you guys go through now you understand now I understand it yeah yeah and then I took the food home and I was like stay before I moved back to Nashville I was staying I was going back to my parents house and I didn't even get to eat really I ate a little bit of it it was great and then I left it and then I put it in my dad came home and just a started eating it not knowing that it's a hot chicken and he ate it like it was regular

chicken oh dear it's pretty just lit him up it must have lit him going into if you go into chicken not prepared yeah it's different like you're like oh this is just and also even when if you go into chicken somewhat prepared someone goes if someone goes this is spicy or this is hot and your gauge for hot is like a little kick yeah and it's something like that really has some spice on it it completely changes your entire power yeah it fucks your whole day by the way I respect Texas now that we live in Austin and if it says on the packaging spicy it fucking is or even medium heat it's fucking spicy and I respect that because I don't we don't get that in California they lied to you and they say it's spicy it's not but I like the Texas they take a chance on you and

what your tolerance outside of Cali they tell you the truth they tell you the truth yeah yeah yeah y'all are yes you are in Austin yeah but not right now right now we're in Los Angeles we are we telling everybody yeah this is in Austin Texas I got a great to be in Austin with everybody wow just flew to Austin Texas yeah thanks for coming in man yeah wow you guys are opened up down here huh yep no mess buddy that's like that's how everybody every town you go to uh I was in Des Moines I came here and there uh and I went into the Shields and they uh they were pretty open like you walk in you like because it was right when they said you were vaccinated you don't wear the mask yeah and uh but it's attached to a mall and you got you win it when you went into

the mall part it was you needed to put your mask back on sure it was uncomfortable people everybody had it on but Shields now and did you go into the come and go and I did not uh I saw him everywhere yeah were you also was it thought provoking for you as it was for me I thought that's an interesting name choice it is yeah I did think about it I don't know I don't know if I dove deep into it but I you definitely see him I think I've seen him isn't it like they're wow wow yeah like it's like sure yeah but like you know what you're doing calling it that yeah it's crazy it's crazy yeah and you know to change it from a c to a k you know why you did yeah yeah maybe he didn't maybe try to do it see and then it goes no if it's like a real old man that's like he goes

no it's fine that's how you spell it yeah but that's what that word is right doesn't even mean another word it doesn't mean anything else yeah it just means a hot load yeah yeah yeah that is and then he put the yeah in the case with a k though yeah yeah and yeah yeah and you're like wait a minute I would hope he would be oblivious to it it's with a k why with a k different oh yeah I got you speaking of come and go Nate you're married man yeah yeah yeah how long have you been with your lady my whole life shut up you're one of those yeah yeah I was 20 yeah I was at a joke brother I said I went from my mom to her so such a bummer right I know it's a lot yeah it's a lot of just always having someone be like no a lot of no not no yeah no no no no no what is she

saying we call her the I call her the governor like a governor on a car yeah yeah like she's always around just being like why is this thing not going fast or being fun and you're like you know why because they got the governor sitting right here just willing it back that's enough too much fun too much fun wait how so hold on what does she not let you do that you want to do I don't probably stuff I don't even know if I don't even know if I have desires anymore because it's all been beaten out of me could be that's great my husband likes to drive fast like Ricky Bobby oh man yeah I get that and he but he's just broke his dumb ass in half in December yeah shooting hoops like he's still 20 so my my request is like you just don't can you not drive so fast now you've just almost

killed yourself in December that was a basketball so this is just different yeah I got seatbelts fucking air like if he was like out on the courts you I think you could be like hey don't don't do that anymore right yeah driving fast is all you can't do you can't even walk anymore there you go that's a great point no see look I'm having my mind changed so many things yeah yeah so you think I should let him just drive as fast as he wants you know yeah and this will he'll end it on its own once he rails it behind a tree and then you're gonna start your life and you get some freedom that's right yeah and who will I marry next or date next I don't think I will get married yeah so you met your lady when you were young how young I was we met at Applebee's we worked there

together really yeah a little more great as average American that is most average place to meet it's that's very sweet yeah we worked there I was 20 she's about 21st birthday before I started comedy wow so she has been with you since before you started comedy yeah she was not in it for the money at all and did she also do this how was she when you're like I want to do comedy was she like I mean okay or it was when I so my dad's a magician yes so like when my family was way on board uh when I told her I don't remember I mean I was 22 23 23 when I started and I moved to Chicago first that was I started in Chicago and then uh but then it was a lot for her parents her parents and her family was like what like you know because you're you're not like when I was meeting them I

wasn't I don't know what they expected no one knows what a comedian really is but I think they typically think we're pretty wild jovial and yeah really yeah very quiet yeah and so they were like he doesn't even really talk and they were like okay uh and you know but her I think her parents were it was it was pretty what is different her parents think now uh now I mean they get it a lot more now I think they still it's they're they're super supportive they come to whatever and then and they were very supportive even then they would come to shows and stuff so they get it a lot more but now it's like you want to you know you're like your girl's taken care of I got yeah you know exactly and so you you want to make sure that they you know and her dad knows that one thing

that was very sweet that her her uh my brother-in-law uh when he came to a show at Zaini's a long time ago and then he after the show at Zaini's he watched me and it was like it was pretty packed it was kind of early it's like you can maybe sell out three quarters of room on a Wednesday maybe in my hometown you know I mean like yeah yeah uh and he called her dad and said I think I think you're you're good you're good and was like very nice that he did that that's actually very sweet yeah most people aren't like that actually so yeah no they were they were they were very cool and very supportive I want to ask you something about having a magician dad yeah but two things first of all I'll do one go ahead first of all did you go as a kid did you have a point when you were like

this is awesome and then a few years later you're like this is not cool yeah I always so the thing I get asked a lot is uh people ask me if I can do magic and I can't I can ruin it for you yeah because it's all it's all I saw you saw him like trying yeah yeah do we had we'd have to buy a a lot more lemons than oranges than you would think yeah like I mean just a lot because you'd have to do tricks with them or newspapers and all this kind of dollar bills that are uncut and all this kind of stuff and coins we had to have silver I've seen more silver dollars than a bank so you actually as a child because you know the the main thing people learn is like you don't ask a magician how do you do that and they're not going to tell you but if you're a the child of one

I mean do you get to have those conversations like show me how to do that like with your yeah yeah tell me everything he'll tell you everything everything and I don't tell I don't of course of course but I mean any anybody's trick any the I got we talk about it and like I'll ask him like what he did to do that and he'll tell you mm-hmm that's pretty good because they all know that what's interesting is the like that pen and teller show where they try to you know it's like they got it they got a show where they got to see if they can guess that they're like I know what you did because pen and teller had their trick where they caught a bullet they shoot a gun and he catches it in his mouth uh-huh and there's way but there's different ways to do tricks

and like whatever way they're doing that my dad doesn't know like that's a lot of magicians I don't know if they know how that's being done like it's it's it's being done in a very unique way I wonder if he would uh if he gets the um because I watched that in and of itself the Derek Delgaudio thing on Hulu and then I podcasted with him and of course I didn't ask him like show me tell me did that I asked him more like how did you even come up with a concept to try this you know we had those conversations but there's some shit in there that I'm like man I wish I fucking knew how somebody does this some of it even with magicians like so my dad does a lot of sleight of hand even when they do it with cards and coin stuff they can do it in front of your face and tell you what they're

doing and you won't still won't see it I mean their job is to make you look a different way you're going to look yeah another way and then they're going to do I bet you know this one tell me if you know you know I'm not asking you to tell me but have have you done or seen the trick where you you know like sign something and then in the end it's in your wallet yeah does that one yeah yeah my dad does that one he does that one yeah isn't that crazy yeah it's crazy I I'm blown away by my dad is so you're saying about earlier about uh being annoyed with it yeah I mean that so like I grew when I grew up with it I didn't even know it was weird it'd be like your kids this is not gonna be weird this is very weird that your kids your parents have these jobs

but it is not going to seem weird to them they're around other comedians yeah my daughter the same way like it's just what it is and uh so that's I thought everybody's dad was a magician for all I knew like I didn't you know and he would do our birthday parties because they you know it's like well you gotta act for free yeah so like I remember I remember having a birthday party and I was like he's performing and all my friends are loved watching it and I just don't want to watch it like I've yeah and I'm like kind of like you just get annoyed with because you're like I've seen this show yeah you're seeing this show again like yeah oh yeah you go do the hits yeah any new stuff tonight dad no all right yeah and so it was uh but he's amazing at it he comes and opens for me on the

road that's why and uh it's very fun and he's people are so there's a prize on how good he is he's very funny and that's crazy your dad opens for you yeah oh yeah how often uh pretty often I mean we won't like announce it uh does he love doing it yeah he did Vegas with me so when we did Vegas it was pretty special and uh because we did the win it was sold out and he you know Vegas was obviously a big deal of magic and uh so to get to do that that's cool together was like yeah it was it was pretty special that is cool and uh but he did I mean right now he's he's president there's the international brotherhood of magicians IBM and he's the president of that right now wow it's a big their big thing is I think they didn't let Houdini join and I guess like so like uh with like

you're saying like watching him try things a magician like comes up with a concept a trick and then they just have to spend hours and hours trying to master the trick oh yeah so that's what you would see at home it's like a lot of like you I remember a lot growing up was like putting the coins in between your fingers like you know like you make it kind of go back and forth so it's a lot of that and he would just be doing that like all the time no yeah we're watching tv anything all day long just kind of doing stuff like that just like you got to get your hands like just where they're really good at like you know hiding stuff and uh he would be he they they buy a lot of tricks so the big white magicians they make money as they can invent a trick and then you have to buy

that trick uh from that guy and so you then you're doing his tricks jokes they do a lot you know they do comedy a lot of their jokes or uh you know a lot of jokes could be like kind of street jokes stuff sure there's not as much into the like the jokes they hear a joke and they're like oh I'm gonna they will tell that joke but the magic is that's the proprietary thing that yeah yeah yeah they sell a trick and then on how they and some of it could even be an act my dad had a real big act where he would get out of a straight jacket and uh he'd have someone come help him but it was a comedy act it was like he basically needed help the whole time getting out of it and that was in it but it was like a very funny and then you could sell that that act like yeah you can sell

like that kind of like you know that's what they that's what they do but a lot of magicians also just steal and that's a big problem too uh in their world because you know their world is like there's like five I mean there's only like five six famous magicians true and then there's a bunch that are you know they do conventions and uh they all get together and stuff like that yeah yeah it's a pretty unique world what does your mom think about that the magician comedian uh she talent she yeah I mean she's funny uh but she was just you know I mean she was just used to I mean her her whole life maybe they've been together since seventh grade so uh wow yeah I mean it's crazy and so they you know I mean this is all she's ever would know it's her old her whole life has been

you know it's like I grew up living like how you know you live with like there's a comedian it's like you live by paycheck she's like all right look we're gonna you know I got a thousand dollars this week so we can go do this this week and the next week I have this you know like that you're the way you do math for your how you can afford stuff like we can take this trip because in this month I'm making two thousand dollars yeah we had a great Christmas when I was 12 because my dad worked a bunch that year yeah and so I mean that Christmas was better that was like the best one we had because it was like a big year I can think of it of an entire decade with exactly that math it's like oh we can do it yeah because look I'm doing Omaha and then I got Houston and then yeah we can

go ahead and do that yeah yeah every week it's yeah that yeah I love the yeah so I mean that's how we grew up so like me like my wife is you know what's much more save money and so and I look at everything that was I still look at everything that way yeah we can do this look I got all this yeah yeah I think COVID happens yeah everything up yeah that mindset's gone so but your wife is super into your comedy or like yeah yeah yeah she's I mean she's in a lot of it but she's uh she's she's into it she you know is she's got a very great with it like if I do jokes about her like very cool about it you know and I mean I don't try to do anything crazy I would never do anything to yeah like hurt her feelings what about your butthole you want to go ahead and ask interesting so

we have a little bet going you guys have been together for a long time then I'm assuming you want to stay married for a long time yeah does your wife lick your scrum no and he said that so fast yeah he also said it like that would be cool if she did I don't know if you picked up on that so Tom's been trying to get me to lick his scrum for a long time now and I'm really afraid of it I don't want to taste brown and I'm afraid of his I'm not gonna go with a shit I don't it's funny to hear this like my sister is a big fan of this podcast and I mean it's I'm gonna look at her different we're gonna have a different relationship after this is what I met your sister we're at the rhyming yeah that was awesome yeah yeah but back to my story so the thing is is that

I'm afraid of it because it's really hot back there and Harry but I'll clean it up so we're making this we're talking about it now like what if he waxes his b-hole and then he cleans it and then like how long you get your face in there and then you know you eat it up I'm in ecstasy and then okay and then these so these boys in the booth are dating now they're in their 20s and 30s and they're telling me that standard operating procedure oh wow is getting your b-hole licked and eating and that girls are just doing that stuff like on apps and stuff they'll just come to your house and lick your asshole do you believe like getting a pizza yeah yeah yeah exactly what do you think Nate feel like you should be dating now yeah but that takes a while even divorcer right

yeah I don't know yeah that seems it's a different world now yeah yeah internet really but we need to shake up these old broads though you know I mean and get there yeah to do do you think you could convince your wife to do it it's like an old huh I know I don't it's uh yeah that's so it's like in the old like an old restaurant that one's like yeah yo you're only taking cash and no one even has cash anymore do you do fucking takeout why do you gotta sit down because now we don't do takeout we stay this is what we've been doing this has been working for 20 years Jake I know but it might stop working look at how these businesses are flourishing yeah do things differently but do you you think so you just said flat out no you don't

think she would because I'm very much opposed to that's backdoor stuff too I'm about to throw up yeah yeah but how could you even broach the topic with her uh I don't know I don't know if I would you know it's a lot it's uh I don't you think it would just bringing it up she would be like the fuck are you talking about I mean even if we talked about it privately versus you guys talking about it here that's different yeah um could you say that to her are you guys open like that or you you could say uh I think so I don't know what yeah I would probably be uncomfortable even bringing it up really yeah yeah uh you know we do different types of comedy though you know but I'm not I'm not talking about comedy though I know but just your mindset's a little different

mine's a little reserved uh and uh there's you you are you're a you're a little more reserved is this are you were you brought up Christian yeah yeah yeah that's okay that makes sense did you hear Bert relate you to Hitler yeah and now yeah that happens a lot it does and uh more than you think more than I want uh you know I can handle a little bit but not every day uh no yeah he did we y'all call what you called you facetime me oh did we talk I forgot I didn't talk to you yeah yeah because he was yeah he was just like you know I don't know where he goes you know how Nate's a lot like Hitler I was like hold on man yeah what he was like let me tell you I was like you just related him that and then you know he gave his his analogy because I'm a Vanderbilt

actually a Vanderbilt shirt underneath this yep but what's the argument to his argument was that everyone thinks of Hitler in Germany he was actually born in Austria right and that Nate is a big fan of Vanderbilt University but he didn't go there just like that just like that like you know it's he's very not even the ideas that we have just that exactly yeah yeah well you know Hitler never bombed Austria because it was his birth country right oh that's why they say the same reason he's never set a fire on the Vanderbilt yeah yeah so hither had to go I don't do that got family over there yeah yeah he's like that's yeah he's like he I know but we should do it I wouldn't want someone to get hurt yeah he goes I know dude my house was I grew up there they're good people

like he had a normal conversation yeah they're pretty decent okay all right all right that's cool man yeah I still can't get over this but do you believe these women are doing it today I mean I can't I mean it's a different world I guess like it's uh you know yeah what about I probably came and bring this up what about probably not did you know that the girls are just shaving everything down there now everything gone everything yeah it's a whole another yeah not even a landing strip yeah but I bet people had this same conversation with it just always going to be this conversation the next generation is this and it's all what's the next level gonna be cut their legs off yeah they're just vaginas torsos with holes can't even walk that would be pretty cool yeah and then you

can just park them where you want put the brakes on you know yeah like a stroller like I'm not going anywhere you got a little fuck stroller you just put the brakes on you go is she gonna leave you she wish she could leave me she was she can't she has her legs you see how we brought Nate to the dark side of the forest he came in a good person yeah you're slowly coming over I'm gonna go to church after this yeah right uh there you go yeah we always you but you're uh but you know I get us I get compared to you a lot really you know that you're at your fans usually and they're they I think they did think it's uh well it's all because they they love you and they're telling me that I we look a lot alike well you're something yeah I mean you're obviously you're heavier but

yeah I get it yeah I have both uh I have all the ACLs working so pretty strong yeah so that's something that's something uh we have a somewhat similar similar like yeah telling stories tell stories no no I'll tell you what it is right now it's your whole vibe and demeanor right he's like you know people saying we're the same and then you go yeah I mean I guess we are the same it's like a mirror yeah your temperaments like when you walked in I'm like this guy's practically asleep just like Tom he walks in practically we're both chill white guys yeah you're chill white guy vibes totes I don't need to yeah we don't need to bring a bunch of energy up to no yeah I was just talking about this yesterday doing a show and I was like yeah if uh if they're not like energetic there's

going to be no energy in the room because I'm not bringing any to the stage oh when someone brings you up and they go you get the same energy you you give he'll give you I'm like don't say that dude I'm getting this energy this is the energy right here you either want it or you don't exactly you're not on board with this I I start out very slow at the beginning if you're not on board of this then you it's not going up for me my favorite is when people try to give you probably get some like some type of note where they'll be like you know it was really like I enjoyed it but it's like starts real it's like a slow burn I'm like yeah that's by design yeah yeah I'm not coming out guns blazing I get them in my rhythm yeah I learned that in New York because in New York I

have to go follow you know Will's events he's murdering yeah and then like when I go up it's like I got to get that audience into my rhythm and how quick can I do it without burning a joke right like so and then you start slow to get them to go all right this dude talks like this and the quicker I can get you in that rhythm the quicker I can just have a normal and how would you would you just burn like a not as high value joke yeah it would be like all right I've towards the end I was starting to figure out like I could just go up and be like all right this is this feels weird like you say something as dumb as that I'm not saying anything I just really want you to hear my voice and then I don't have to burn a joke because then I'm just saying you

know that's the worst too is when you got a good one you're like I'll use it here to get them on board and it just doesn't land and you're like fuck I just wasted it wait yeah yeah you just start nice and easy yeah and that's how you do it but yeah I would always get because there's someone like some at you first yes a long time ago were we in Grand Rapids yes not doctor it was Dr. Grins what about in that festival it was a comedy festival yeah yes I remember that yeah and then and then I would always get told that mean you should hang out because you were like the college football yeah and because of this so then I guess this vibe they're like this dude guys would get along you guys are the undertaker I just realized too that you you because we're similar you are

actually doing the stand-up that like my family wishes I would they would like all they ever tell me like my mom would be like I you are funny but your mind you are a porno mind yeah I'm just like what can't you say nice I always say I'm a uh comics parents comic yeah like I'm yes I am always like uh I'll be on the road and some comics like yo I told my parents they should come see you like and I'm like all right yeah uh because you absolutely murder I mean you you're so funny and uh yeah you don't have to do any of the gross cheap stuff that we do yeah well it's your but it's uh you know to each it's just whatever you know it's whatever look if everybody's a good comic I mean most of my comics are all your favorite comics are filthy David tells

I think one of the great he's I think he's the best like yeah uh but he uh in Patrice like I was in New York watching all those guys Kurt Metzker Kurt Metzker was like uh and Jay yeah I mean Jay dude me and Jay used to big Jay used to ride home and we would like think of a joke and just see which way we go both go with it and it was just so different yeah like you would I would take it just it's obviously clean normal yeah whatever my way is and I mean his is like so I mean he's already in the back of the car like having sex with this one you're like oh I took a turn weird that was about parking yeah yeah yeah like he just goes but we would never touch on the same subject sure I mean it's great but it's it's what I always when when people ask about you know ultimately like

why do you say this what I go look it's it's not more complicated than this I do I go up there and I say what I think is funny yeah that's what you're seeing you're seeing me tell you what I think is funny yeah and that's what most comedians are doing like yeah Nate's up there presenting to you what he thinks is funny it's different people sense of humor you know yeah I don't know yeah you can't really help being a dirt bag I yeah like I always I always wondered how clean comics come up like how do you work as a feature act like like especially like I was in New York so I was in New York for almost nine years eight and a half years or something like that so I basically I was in Chicago for two years with like Pete Holmes and I did I started exactly like Pete I started with

Pete at Boston Comedy Club handing out flyers in 2004 when I moved to New York and then so I was doing all those shows but I was just clean I never talked about it it gets talked about more now just because it's like you know people realize it but and it was a deliberate effort or is it an effort I could never but it just it wouldn't be I wouldn't feel how he is yes I would not feel comfortable because I talked to you know you're like even talking about ass eating and you're just kind of like that's not my lane like I can tell it's not it's not in the front of your mind the way it is it's going to be when he gets home the night it's going to be in the front of his mind hey you know I had an interesting conversation today but how do you not have I guess my question is like

do you not have those degenerate thoughts or I've now it's been 18 years so it's like you're yeah I just don't go I'm I'd never say I won't ever I don't know I'm open to the idea of like doing it but it's not like I'm specifically trying to stay you know I my biggest the my favorite things if someone comes up and they don't realize I'm clean yeah that's what I've always like that's what I've always wanted to be and so I mean I would do those midnight shows in in New York and they'd be uncensored and all this stuff and I just don't have those jokes I've never had a joke about sex I've never had a joke and I just don't I don't know I just don't I just I don't think about it I feel like it's it doesn't mean to me it sounds like it sounds like so challenging maybe because

I'm saying it for my but it would be challenge for me to not talk about some other things you know like I just I don't think of it I just it just doesn't pop it just doesn't you know it's not how I yeah not as a not as a joke so then what do you do with the dark thoughts I mean there's a lot of murder in my act there's a lot of murder I talk about murder quite a bit you guys are kindred spirit yeah yeah there's a like a very extreme you know you go to the very extremes and yeah talk about that stuff so uh I just do that but it's I don't know it's just that's what comes in I like it too it helps me you know you just stay over in your just try to be you get a head down you're being your own world you get a lot of laughs off of a different register of your

voice too like yeah like it's like a comment on what you're saying yeah and that gets huge like I mean it's it's obviously like me yeah you tell me you think I'm gaffigan no you think no that's what you think my act that's all you think us clean comics are no not at all like gaffigan's high you know he does that little bit like you do a register thing yeah you know your voice like will change it sounds like a throwaway is what I'm saying oh yeah yeah like you'll do and and all sudden you like the lay person might be like oh you just like I know it's a joke yeah you know but it's I love watching it man yeah no thank you yeah I love it I didn't mean to I mean I think nice compliment that you actually gave me I think that you know you and Jim are just great

yeah yeah you just think we're all sitting here with Brian Regan everybody uh yeah it's well that you can learn that's why like being uh you know we're like kind of like us on stage we're not moving around a lot like there do you ever think about on stage how far do you go will you walk not far have you ever you know those monitors in the front I will sometimes go try to get by one of them yeah and I can't I can't I feel so uncomfortable yeah trying to I think everybody knows I'm trying to go I can tell when I finally get like I did it was the I've been doing this new hour trying to figure it out yeah and um this weekend I did eight shows or this past weekend on the seventh show I started resting my foot on either the stool the bar stool like the little

leg you know there or the monitor in the front and that's when I know I'm like oh I'm actually getting comfortable because other than that I'll I'll basically stand yeah people have told me like why don't you move more I'm like because I don't I don't yeah I don't I don't it's uh what's about the words yeah you know the words should get you there I should be paying the picture good enough that you understand it yeah I agree uh there I had a woman once I did a elclodge like in New York and uh very you know very early and uh she goes you know it's just hard to tell when you're the punch lines are oh and I was like yeah and she goes you should do something about it like you should like maybe put uh spider webs like spider man you shoot spider webs out of your hands and

that's when like here's the punch line like that's how much she wasn't finding the punch lines that she goes you need something for real a visual a visual and so I would when I got to the punch line I would shoot spider webs out and she's like then you're like the spider man comment and like that's great right I was like great idea that's a really solid your mom had a similar kind of idea for me yeah my mom told me early in my comedy career she goes you know what you should do is have a tool belt and then you put different tools in the belt and then you can talk about the each tool what the tool does that's good advice that's pretty good someone did that already yeah yeah I mean Tim out yeah that's his yeah but but a woman's never done that is right and I don't

feel like he had the belt on I feel like he talked about tools yeah he made a show but no one brings a belt on stage yeah that's right it's pretty awesome he did that good advice I should do that now for my next hour you know my tools are you have so multiple specials yeah every hour is about one tool no I mean you can do 10 you could do tools but there's there's thousands and then all of a sudden they'll be like yeah she did the hammer in the screw and then all of a sudden you're like oh I got ranches and you know I mean like then you walk out with like stones and you're like oh I was doing some old tool stuff that's your old stuff yeah his old tools like a chisel rock that's such a good idea now now that we're talking about it it's pretty solid it's a good lane and it would attract

a very specific demographic comedy fans like hardcore comedy fans yeah just people that use tools absolutely it would be a male primarily predominantly male and they could go her her when you walk out I don't know if that's been done but that was his thing yeah that was he was a huge I bet he would murder and though like during that time I bet he murdered I love thinking about these old comics that like Billy Gardell would always I had never seen him lie but I always heard that with him like he would and Bob Marley in not the Bobby Kelly used to tell me Bob Marley in Maine yeah dude so known in Maine you go into a gas station they have Bob Marley like CDs and hats and shit yeah and he would

like I would love to see the show just to hear that audience yeah because if they would be losing their mind I do feel like that era comic it was about like you need to kill oh yeah you know I mean now it's like do your comedy like yeah I think you still need to kill you do need to when you especially if you're putting on a big show but I'm saying I feel like those guys were like you need to kill more like every set and I don't think that everyone's mentality is that I have trouble with I so I was in New York with that mindset so there was you're a whole thing when I was in New York there wasn't all these alt shows right I mean they had like Rafifi like I was there like Melania used to book Rafifi like Nicole ran and I think and and so that was like I didn't really

know that there wasn't a big alternative scene and you had to get past the club so that was the big kind of thing and so you would you would try to murder every show because you'd be in front of a real audience yeah and I I do have trouble with that even now like I still want to like I'm if I try something and it's not I'm not good with like letting it sit in it yeah yeah like I'll I'll I'm in I'll bell on it I'm not saying everything works but I'll just bell if I don't feel like it's working I'm not gonna sit in it and try to figure it out I'm not gonna try to figure it out right there in that moment generally you can have a pretty good idea I have to I like to have an out if there's a I just before if I take a joke I can play in a joke but it's gotta have an out

yeah a strong I tell you what's so interesting listening to the two of you talk about comedy the experience is so different because both of you are like yeah I can go out and I'll just start and they'll just come with me and it'll be fine whereas as my experience especially as a woman coming up before when no one wanted to fucking hear a woman so I would go out and it'd be like arms folded everybody's like oh fuck so I feel like the opposite is my experience was always like alright monkey fucking dance so from the minute I'm out there I'm gonna start with my hottest shit I'm gonna win you motherfuckers over and I'm gonna change your mind about what the fuck you just saw you're gonna suck my dick when this is done um yeah and also it's just it's a totally

different what else was I gonna fucking say I wrote it down I forgot can you read it I wrote the word opening I think she said I wrote it down she's like I did and then I forgot I just that one thought about like being able to take your time is such a different this might be why people have problem with women comics because I don't remember my jokes they're now joking sorry it's no I yeah I think you guys have to you know I always thought about like women on the road like that's gotta be the heart like because it's uncomfortable us to go on the road and to stay where you have to stay and all this stuff where if you're a woman it's like you're using it on a highway it's a hundred times yeah it's and I can get I was talking about this earlier that I have

the risk of getting raped and murdered a lot right yeah like I could get raped and murdered by you even I think you could kill me arguably I mean clean comics we've got a streak going so maybe I'm gonna keep it going that's why I ask you about your dark side of the force I'll let it when you hear about it you're here buddy that'd be so crazy if like you ended up dead and then it's Nate Berg and like Nate did it yeah now really that's crazy oh a little bit above average now yeah yeah and he's like you shouldn't have said that about yeah you demean my family Tom by saying most average oh my god I'm like you didn't have to kill or he's like oh I feel I took it too far all right tell I'm sorry about that Tom and I'd be like all right well at least you're sorry yeah and then

it could I co-host yeah and then you're in and I'm here and that's our podcast together yeah could you imagine the two of you yeah if we'd be like the slowest fucking drollist podcast here we go right yeah welcome to your morning yeah hi everybody thanks for coming to the podcast this week you wouldn't even do that though how was your weekend man because do you thank people for coming I feel like you're you're like you guys are here with us like this is our show here so fuck you had pretty good weekend yeah yeah use some shows I did a few shows yeah I don't really want to get into it though yeah what you got this week I again I'd like to not dive too much into it but I got stuff I'll probably eat a few times okay it's cool it's cool did you get your ass

eaten by your wife uh you know again not yet okay but uh I will definitely let you know you know that's why I killed your wife because she didn't do that hey did I ever say I did not appreciate you for that yeah no problem man for suggesting that she no one needs to doubt this energy you know what I mean yeah just because we don't spit it on the mic does mean we can make some damage we can definitely do some damage yeah you guys are killers on the inside that's what it is it's dark murderer energy we're like uh Mike Myers when he does he never runs it's right yeah but he still kills yeah yeah there you go that's how we describe our comedy dude how about how about the next tour I'm not running but I'm still killing yeah I like it they come out to Friday 13th music

doesn't even match yeah it doesn't even matter it's perfect it's perfect it is perfect dude you're you're thinking about following someone home uh oh like no I think about sometimes if I ever see a stranger I wonder if I can get in their life and be their friend oh wow like you just see someone at a restaurant that's even crazy can I somehow infiltrate their life and then become friends with them yeah and then be texted them then be like they didn't even know them yeah how quick can I become their friend oh that's psycho I like that's crazy that's totally crazy that's the dark side of your force I knew it was there it knew is that how like Dahmer started he goes yeah dude I used to think that is that innocent it was that innocent just wanting to be friends

he I watched an interview with his dad and they uh they're like did you think weird as a kid he's like I mean kill some animals and stuff growing up nothing crazy like he was like because that was the 60s and that was like back then they're like yeah dude I don't know if they didn't have tvs something something had to kill him sometimes you would just kill an animal yeah he just got there and just acts a dog's head off and we'd be like hey come on he's like besides that I didn't I didn't see this coming yeah for sure don't kill bits either okay I got it she's dead already oh okay did you hunt a lot growing up I've never we never hunted we were never big hunters uh I've never killed an animal yeah uh yeah not a big hunt y'all hunt no no no I've killed a few animals for fun you guys

are you guys are the same size it's interesting it's like it's like in the college football the football and then the dark side you guys are both dork sided but you're just you're fooling yourself that you're like a nice fooling yourself Christian guy I would like my parents to still come to the show yeah that that's the thing you saw I'm just giving up on that yeah he's like I don't care it's gone that's over it's over that's the way she'll yeah she'll uh they brought my parents to the last the last tour they came to a show but I was real worried about my mom seeing it because especially because I had a lot of jokes about her and how she's a terrible person and I was like it's gonna be real weird for her to be there maybe uncomfortable so my sister did me a solid

and got her pretty hammered before the show oh great so it was over she was like that was a great show and I was like she looked she was like she was checked out yeah she fell asleep yeah that's cool that's the only way she can see the show but it's not how you want your parents to experience yeah they were basically checked out like blacked out drunk you know but do they get it like they get enjoy my dad enjoys it my dad enjoys it yeah my mom just not yeah yeah they get enjoy I mean to them I think it's even more seeing the people that's what that's what the whole thing is you know oh my god there's so many people here and and they'll report not anything in the act you know this person sat next to us and then you know and then I said I'm your dad and they you know like that's what

they report yeah my dad I mean just in the crowd really like we'll walk around like very proud and but like I mean it's just he's out there you know when you first start I just have to tell my mom and then that because when you first start uh having people come out because at first they're coming to see you like when I was at home my mom would know the whole crowd like she would just talk to everybody because oh yeah we all grew up with these people and then there's a point where you go yeah we don't know everybody anymore so you can't walk out there and just start talking to everybody please she'd be like socializing with people at the show yeah hilarious I'm there go over she's gonna bring them back come here you see my parents at the show go hit them up you're

gonna get a comeback stage oh yeah that's hilarious when they offer my dad'll be like um hey when you're in town um come to the pharmacy with me and I was like what and he goes somebody at the pharmacy's a fan I told him you'd come by and I'm like to the pharmacy yeah so he'll like set up meet and greets at like in public yeah he's like yeah we're going there go to his coffee place they like you there too yeah all right cool man we're doing you gotta go make the rounds yeah making the rounds of you dead yeah that's fun um is this a thing this is a clip here what is this yeah he's putting everything he's got he's a big fucking guy

putting everything he's got into the bears just messing around yeah playing listen to him he's out of it dude he's out of breath I'd like to know how that guy's morning started he's exhausted did he I would like to know if that guy knew this day was coming or is this something that you're going hey dude he's definitely stumble upon he definitely does this a lot I think oh yeah he's russian this is what they all do all russians yeah it's that they have pet dogs well he did beat him talking shit yeah it'd be crazy if you're like they were like hey uh we got something for you to do today you know if you go on the road and someone's like hey y'all want to come see and you're like all right and then you're I mean it's

not crazy then you're in there going like dude I'm wrestling a bear yeah and they're like he won't hurt you let's do it you don't hurt you don't worry no this is what he does we do this all the time yeah never hurts any you only hurt one guy it was a while ago yeah oh okay and then you're in it Jesus yeah it's smart very strong man I know they love this shit you know this is all like that proving that you're masculine proving your macho you know swimming in the ice water drinking vodka wrestling bears I like it yeah that is a big proof though yeah it's pretty rad that is pretty rad um what is this here this is uh supposed to see what I'm a truck driving over a bridge and oh he's okay so he planned what was that what was that it's all was proud of himself he was like

it was almost horrible and then everything was fine oh yeah and everything I used to drive trucks you did deliver uh never that big a 20 uh just a pickup truck but no no it's okay I know uh like a 26 foot box truck we used to deliver matches on my old yeah jobs uh and then I'm sorry and then uh I'm just so blown away it's the worst thing I've ever seen in my folder that this yeah it was a crazy it's a crazy video like you're almost seeing some crazy shit and then it recovers that's the problem is that we almost saw some crazy shit and this show like is this the almost crazy shit show or is this the crazy shit show I mean it's that truck driver's favorite video he's like dude I can't believe I saved that like he's very

proud of this video yeah he's he's proud of it um look at that this this this is something we watched before but I want to show it to you check this out that's pretty good right yeah would you show your wife that video no I don't I don't get I think you are on a different internet than I'm on oh we haven't showed you anything yeah no I know I don't I I know that I've seen it all I'm on this internet but if I'm on a darker yeah it's nothing dude oh yeah you want to see some shit oh I don't I don't I don't at all I don't like it's I don't want to see you don't want to see anything no you're gonna pop something up there I don't want to see I have a lot of bad stuff

is this yeah I know you do okay okay yeah I get it I enjoy watching your videos of people on your live shows and no one can watch that stuff yeah well yeah I like your tiktok videos too really you're my only world in tiktok so okay her tiktok curations I I really enjoy them just because you're uh it's like uh and you know it's like a way you can do it without having to go do it you don't have to feel bad about it see I want you to feel bad about it need feel bad about doing stuff I want you to go there oh feel bad about what like just go on tiktok and and oh and get mad at yeah no yeah I want to I want Nate to embrace the car yeah I can uh I don't know yeah I mean I there's there's definitely I have anger it's uh you know I don't post

what do you want what do you want to happen right now let's talk about it how do you channel your what do you channel yeah what do you do uh I dump it all on my wife yeah you know like her wake up and deal with it every day I have like you know what's funny is like they're uh I'll get like when I talk about my wife uh on stage like if someone doesn't like their the comment like was like why are you married like they try to say that oh right and that was something I had to learn it very early on how to tell a joke to be like that's not the point of this yeah like it's like it's not you know I don't hate this woman like right I'm just telling you about the bad part you know I don't tell you the

hey it's everything's really great but it's actually that's actually a healthy outlet is to be like you know bothered or have some something that is you know disturbing your equilibrium in some way and going like I'm gonna tell a joke about it yeah like that's a healthy outlet for yeah that's good Nate that's good oh yeah you know I mean as opposed to like whatever screaming about it or you know yeah I do that too yeah sure punch the wall sometimes I do that privately to her yeah I get it out I workshop it on her you're like real time she got a bunch of haircuts for a reason yeah yeah it's worked out at home you know yeah

those bangs cover a cycle covering something up something yeah those bangs getting longer oh my god yeah you don't know what happened put that makeup back yeah oh my god yeah she's got to wear sunglasses in the movie theater yeah of course look how funny he thinks that is and both of you think it's funny see this is what's interesting you're right you're connected yeah yeah it's like yeah I think you're for comedy you have that yeah you got it like a dark got to thought yeah yeah you do have you know I just put in a little bit nice of her package that's true okay good for sure that's it it's just different packaging I just not saying cursing yeah yeah that's true that's true I always told people you can get away with a lot

sometimes if you just a cursing is just like they just notice the word yes you don't say if you don't curse you can say basically whatever you want that is so true you know I know and what is your is your approach I know this is like if I can you know NPR style question but I do wonder this like to two doing a bit or a new joke do you do you actually write things out do you know I would love I would love to talk to you about this like there because I you know it's funny with comedy I think we our whole career is just asking each other how to write yeah because I I think none of us know what we're doing yeah and so we think another person has it figured out yes you're totally right so you're like what are you doing like do you have

a secret and I think there is zero secret it is whatever you do to make sure you do the jokes I don't write anything out I'll write the idea down I'll never write it outward for word that was a patrice and birthing that they said I remember a long time ago was like if you write out word for word it's like you you want to be conversational so like little words are going to change in your act like the ands and these and all that kind of stuff your rhythm changes a little bit then it makes it always sound conversational because I what your act is is you're trying to talk and like it's almost like you want people to feel like you remind me of my buddy yeah yeah that's what in so it's like we're just all hanging out so if you write stuff out where like I never listened

I never record my set I never listened to my set I were even if I because if I record it I'm like who am I kidding myself I'm never going to go back and listen yeah I if I come up with a tag on stage I'll I'm pretty good about immediately going to write like I might write the tag down just so I don't forget it I write my sets out that's I have no card list I write a set list out and I have no cards from 2003 like so I've wrote is I write where I'm at where my set list is and then it'll just kind of change like it just changes you know like when I got built this new hour one way I did find out as far as like you're right like a no idea down right like you just say if you come an idea you just kind of write the idea down and you you're writing kind of 24 hours

you kind of just always kind of thinking how can I tell this but recently I started putting when I was building this new hour I put in my notepad new jokes and I put March and so I just wrote down some stuff and then I did the next April I did it for April and then I came up with some stuff in May and I did it May and I did kind of like that because it like made me so every month I can go like and I'm just putting the ideas down so it's like well how many ideas did I come up with and then you can go look at it and see how many ideas you you know you came up with I like that way you you it's not I'm not sitting down every week like you don't sit down and like do stuff but you kind of just go you know I don't know don't you feel like especially you feel like a panic

definitely like you're you just and you just open your brain to go I need I feel like I feel the panic but at least now I feel like it's familiar that's what I tell people so I go I feel the same panic oh my god but I also remember that I felt that last time and the time before so you're just like okay it's a familiar panic I think if it goes away it's bad I think you're totally right I think it's real if it's uh I think that's when you know yeah something's changing when you don't have it you should feel like after every special you're like well I don't know how ever do this again will come up yeah I don't know how like even this new hour you're like all right I'm happy with it and then it's like whenever we take this next special you're like dude how will

I ever in a million year what is there to even talk about yeah there's nothing left to talk about that's true and then somehow it just it just comes and something you got to just trust that it will come it'll come and you open your mind I think when you get it when you get your special too I don't I never was a guy that had like a bunch of jokes on the side like you know when you someone you'd go on like you'd be at a club and then like hey we're gonna go this open mic in this town and then I'd be like what are you gonna do your a stuff he's like now I got some other stuff I'm like you have other stuff I'm like just like you I have I have what I have is what I'm doing yeah I don't have uh reserves reserves just sitting in the back and I always hated those

shows too because you do the the club with your best stuff and you go with that guy to that weird open mic and you're like I'm just gonna do what you just saw at the club oh I'm gonna murder dude like I'm gonna I'm it's an a list I never tried to and people always go like oh he was doing all new jokes like I always would heard that with some comics yeah they go dude he did a new set every time you're like well that's impossible because he would be the greatest comedian that's ever lived yeah do you know how hard it is to write material yeah that's like there's a lot of crowd work stuff like that's my I have a little bit it annoys me a little bit just because it's you know how hard an act is to create it is the hardest thing to do so she's doing crowd work over here

all right got a crowd work defender it's he agrees but it wastes your time of developing your actual material I think it's any and I'm not trying to trash like I know a lot of people do crowd work but like I'm fine with crowd work but it's also like I don't know it's like you know just don't you know there's every show's different you're like dude it's not different though crowd works is not even crowd works how many divorced people are gonna be in the front row you're gonna have so many yeah jokes already an act is dude it is so hard to make sure and to produce a new act and to like to get it right to the like the the math of an hour of like like making it something and knowing that there has to be some kind of rhythm like a peak in a valley and like you know if you're

having a story that the story has some relevance or it has some meaning and then you're tying something else to it and maybe something at the end of your hour brings the whole thing to get like putting all those pieces together is a should be a long journey it's like a piece of music it's you're orchestrating an hour it is and it has a timing and a flow and I remember what I was gonna fucking say earlier here we go the pressure to murder every time I think I have that oh yeah because of like because as a little chick as a lady you want to be like I can't but I can't afford to bomb out like I can't because then that's like a room full of people that can go oh we mean oh that's true yeah and they would tell us that the crowd is weird yeah they got a crowd was not

that's what they tell us they tell the guys that yeah yeah they go by that crowd sucked yeah but sometimes they do suck no I mean the crowd yeah no yeah yeah I'm not a big blame the crowd but if something goes wrong it's uh it's like if you're they're too drunk or they're yelling stuff out you're like dude that's not I always heard that thing that I think it was a Seinfeld thing and I was like I completely disagree the idea that like you don't go they suck what are we talking about no they can't suck they can be too drunk like he said they're too late at night they can be too tired too tired the vibe feels weird yeah and then to be like no that's on you like no it's not it's definitely not on you you can tell sometimes when it's on you but it's you can tell really on

yeah it's it's really on you when you go like we do this 24 hours a day yeah my whole life is this like I'll know if I hit the stage like to like agro or something and then people you see you'll see them that like your energy is you're like oh I'm coming at this like you know I mean like too aggressively or something you ever do a show and probably was like when you don't you just don't address the weirdness in the room and then you do it in the last five minutes and then and then it kills the greatest thing in the world yeah and you're like god if I would have done that at the beginning you would have had an amazing show yeah that's all part of learning it man yeah yeah for sure and you just sit in it that's that that's like fear-based you know because there is a fear is a

big thing on stage and sometimes you're like I'm just it'll be better if I don't talk about this yeah yeah oh yeah you're scared I mean my special I had helicopters flying over and we left it in because it was ended up being like said stuff that was funny about or whatever and it was like to show the realness of what was happening yeah but it was like that was like I was trying not to say something I will try not I don't want to say anything yeah I don't I want to do my act I will do my act I'm not a I'm not trying to talk to you like it's uh you know sometimes like too when people get like heckled or they get same with you well you asked for that stuff if you if sometimes I'm not saying it all happens but heckling like if you go up there and I start

talking to the crowd and then like dude why was that guy being so bad you're like why did you talk to that guy for 20 minutes yes that's different you're you go up and you go this is an act yes this is what I'm doing like I'm not trying to it's a show that we have the same perspective yeah yeah we share a perspective because I I definitely lose my shit on uh people fucking up on the show yeah they shouldn't that I agree though yeah they shouldn't but sometimes you get real sometimes they get well they get excited I get I get excited they get excited I'll light somebody up you know on the wrong night sometimes pretty hard yeah but I mean you know we've been doing this a long time yeah yeah yeah yeah get what did I do recently uh I really went I messed

my agnostics oh yeah no I was thinking of a stand-up show I did where this guy front row and as I walk up I'm like putting my water on the stool and he's like yeah here we go and I was like hey man this is not going to last long for you at all and he was like okay okay and then I saw that he was hammered yeah so I was like all right I gave him like the yeah dude he lasted like two and a half minutes but he was being shift-faced yeah I mean he's shift-faced yeah so I don't know I did um I did use different words like I did I did get pretty aggressive but also what I was talking about this with Jeff Tate is that sometimes if you get really agro with like someone like that in the crowd you're doing it sometimes because you feel like

if you feel like the place isn't going to help you then you're on more high alert in other words if you have like a great security setup and you know they're going to take care of problems you're kind of like cool yeah but if it's a kind of a venue yeah where they're like yeah we don't really do that we don't have people for that then you feel like well I'm defending the whole thing yeah and then you tend to be or I tend to be more you know aggressive on that yeah yeah you try not to say do you use the word agro quite a bit do I yeah I don't think so maybe today I say it a lot you said it yeah today yeah yeah do you use the word agro I don't think I even know what it means after all that he said I've just been going with the vibe of what I think the word means yeah

aggression okay yeah aggressive aggressive yeah oh it's exactly the yeah so it's basically the beginning of it it's the beginning of the word you say agro you said it the first time I thought all right I'm not gonna have to figure that word out and then you said it like three or four more times like okay all right it's California word agro yeah it's a skatery kind of yeah oh yeah yeah dude like you well that guy that guy that dude was fucking agro bro like dude you so agro oh it's usually about someone else yeah like that guy so you're using it by yourself agro on it look man I'm learning the word too yeah I don't know if I'm saying it correctly or not so when you get mad do you curse in the car or do you are you like cheesing right are you like a dagnett guy I'll

say dead gummit dad gummit yeah yeah my dad says they go we I'll say dead guy I always think of Bobby Bowden when I hear it when I think of dad I've never heard that he was that was he said that was his big thing dad gummit dad guy see but what is the difference so you think about that if it means god damn it in your mind like then it works it doesn't in my mind it means dead gummit yeah and so like you just that's the word that we always heard saying my two-year-old says god fucking damn it because his yeah yeah yeah did you see that yeah that's good you guys good parenting well right now there are saying ass every two seconds too yeah smell my ass my my five-year-old yesterday goes hey I go I go I'm going to work so I was going to do a show and he goes

hey before you leave smell this and he pulled his underwear then pulled his dick I was like no man I go you can't do that to somebody he's like all right and then he put it away yeah he just has to wrap his head around like to say oh okay yeah dude looks I'm learning like it's his first day on the job all right I'm learning I am learning I learned something today I learned something smell this yeah dude you have a daughter yeah and one kid just one kid how old eight oh wow so you're like you have a proper kid yeah does she tell you to smell her ass and stuff or is that just a guy thing a boy yeah no she maybe it is a boy you know we have the girl it's uh it is much different yeah but boys are it's bullshit it's not true when it is they're not the same it's oh guys are

fucking insane boys are crazy yeah yeah yeah yeah when I have my friends that have boys it is when when you don't have a boy and all I kind of know is the girl world yeah and a boy comes over it's wow like you're like wow this is a lot dude like a lot and I mean it's a lot of a lot of jumping around a lot of jumping on kind of stuff and bro if I lay down on my back it's like I'm leaving all my my vital organs exposed and then when jumps on my stomach they jump on my head they fuck you up they really do they scratch me I'm like kick you punch you and that's all they're like what I was just like yeah just getting it out yeah man I'm trying to hurt you yeah were you an only child no I have a brother and a sister okay did you did you and your brother fuck each other up

yeah yeah I'm sure yeah we uh yeah you know I've busted my head open or you know I've done a bunch of that kind of stuff my buddy Travis that's here with me like uh his kid I think got stitches yesterday he's got a boy like just playing had to go get stitches last night uh yeah I think there's a lot of that you know when you're a kid like yeah my brother got stitches this kid hit him with a golf club uh once and then yeah a lot of scars I hit my cousins in the one in the jaw one in the head with a baseball bat wait what why are you laughing because it was just funny how it happened because it was on the same swing so oh wow so I went up to there was a T you know and I went up and when I I just swung it back and it hit my cousin in the head and didn't realize that I had

yeah and then swung forward and my other cousin walked in front and I hit him in the jaw so it was the same swing I fucked them both at their house oh my gosh we all in like the living room outside oh yeah there's a lot of walking going on around a bat swing yeah I mean we were a pretty active area it was an active area and it was a I got I was so embarrassed that I did it that I just like cried and ran home yeah yeah it's like you killed them then I was like I think they're dead yeah did they need stitches did you go get help or you just ran home I I ran home and I my parents so we live two houses down from them so I I'm running home and they're like where are you going and I was like I killed it you know I was like and I tried someone like I hit them with a bat and

they're like what and then I finally come when I came back to the house they brought me back they had ice pack on this one ice pack on this one you know because it was a was it a wood bat probably now it's probably it was probably no I was thinking like probably like aluminum aluminum I think so yeah you watch college baseball it's the greatest sound in the world oh it's a good sound yeah thing just Vanderbilt by the way great college baseball I love how many you are I love it women's bowling anchor down championships women's bowling we're a problem women's bowling a problem we were talking about women's sports and how they suck at sports yeah but that how then you can think of the ones where they're not and then they're good

that's why we got to tennis tennis is good we've talked about you have sees how ronda rousey could be a big reason you're even in this I'm in the sport I love the sport because of that yep uh yeah tennis golf golf they're great at you're a big golfer I'm a big golfer you play a lot they usually tell a lot of men that they should watch do you bring them on the road uh clubs yeah you do sometimes I did in this trip but if I if I can play if I know I can play I'll bring them my clubs and even like when you're like well once we get the bus I mean I just have a set under the bus and are you going are you gonna bus for this tour yeah so we should say it because this comes out in a couple weeks but like you're you're going on a big tour yes um with the bus with a

bus bus is the shit man yeah you put your life on the bus and you don't have to worry about anything which is great it's great and then um uh you're doing I'm assuming just like a huge uh yeah huge tour the rain check tour the range we're calling it we get the rain check and uh nice they uh so be a lot of dates that were rescheduled and a lot of dates that are kind of new and then we're going to be adding a bunch of new dates I get a lot of that you know it's a lot of why don't you come in here it's like it's gonna get announced oh my god you guys are soul mates I you guys are so I like the idea that like it's sometimes it's like major cities like you're not gonna come to San Francisco is like do you think I'm not coming to San Francisco one of the biggest cities in America like yeah I'm

gonna miss it I'm going to El Paso but I'm about to just get married I think you and Nate need to be it makes me want to fucking kill somebody I mean I you know I'm like I don't I'm not gonna announce 20 months of dates yeah this is the first let and then right away they're like why not New York because it's in the next fucking announcement that's why yeah if you just look at our careers what what do we give off that you don't think we're gonna just be on the road for the rest of our lives yeah like all I've done is be on the road and you think for some reason you're gonna stop here's about 20 announcements and I'm done after don't ever think I'm coming back again now let me ask you so when someone makes the comment on your Instagram you posted the announcement

why don't you come to San Francisco do you write are you a fucking idiot we'll probably handle it differently okay you think so would you make a video chastising your fans like hey you guys are fucking retards I might ask y'all to edit my part out of this and let him just keep going no I don't I don't say I do have like I had someone on like listen to our podcast our podcast the Nate Land podcast which by the way even aesthetically looks great oh yeah thank you yes it does yeah it's it's we did it you know I've not made a dime off of it but yeah there you I'm in the hole but it's all right yeah now it's fun to it'll pay off he'll pay off and then uh but someone told us on that podcast I was like a comment this guy uh was like I'm not he's like

I'm not listening to this podcast anymore it's not good and I was like thinking about that guy like he did he tell a friend I don't like this podcast I listen to Nate Land I don't like it and he's like all right you go stop listening you're like I'm gonna let them know that I'm out and then I'm then I'm gonna hit up like the like he's amazing yeah very funny notify yeah he's gonna go I'm gonna personally let that guide not even a company yeah it's not like your email and target it's like I'm supposed to let this one dude one dude I don't like it yeah hey I'm not on board of it you're like all right yeah cool yeah all right man sir you get that with specials too they're like I didn't like this one I like the other one you're like cool this one I got because there's a little

bit of a laugh track on this one because it's outside and people are like I don't like the laugh track and I am it look it bothers me I don't want it but it was during COVID trust me I didn't hear a laugh during that show yeah so we had masks on there's helicopters flying over yeah we had a mess with it a little bit yeah yeah well how dare you and I'm no longer a fan yeah yeah I'll be honest to you I've never been in front of a crowd yeah that's cool yeah yeah we make it all are you gonna go international on the store I don't know I really want to I've been kind of waiting for my daughter to get old enough to take her wrap her head around it that's like so you know like going to Australia like I've been asked and I'm gonna go but she's eight and I want like we're so

close to being like I want her to experience it know it yeah you know when she was like five you're like I don't want to just take a five-year-old they'll show up yeah yeah so these people that are comfortable flying with small children like yeah we took our fucking three-week-old Bali I know too one guy was like taking the kid to Paris for real why six-month-old and then yeah and then my cousin took one the girl she was like one we're going to Tokyo I'm like you're bringing her to Tokyo yeah he's like yeah and then he got back yeah she was great no it's like does she want to go to Tokyo I don't when they say she's great I those are I want to go I don't believe you yeah and I want to like get into like what the moment I wish I could watch right

people right yeah like because I don't believe they make it seem like they have this great marriage and this great family also and you're like something's not yes and those are the ones that get divorced those are also also the giveaway that I've never seen I mean not fail is the person whose posts are all about their never-ending love for their partner and how great they are yeah and how we just get along so well and and and like their appreciation and love and devotion to that person now I understand once a year whatever but when you see that consistently I'm like this is bullshit I don't buy this I don't like do you not wear a wedding ring either well I broke my hand and oh that's right I don't have I don't wear one either I don't why I wear it on stage I don't

know is not talking about her enough is it not I have to no joke I guess that's me I got I mean my whole career is based on telling you have a wife is that not can you give me one thing back can I have my finger back yeah sorry no jump joke so do you but you don't like rings though they're fat it's a feminine for you yeah that's exactly why I do it yeah yeah I kind of Nancy boy and I didn't like it took I took it the wrong way yeah I kind of feel like a bitch when I wear it but yeah I had like your wedding ring I thought nobody can you wear it now can you shove it on that finger now I feel like it's time Tom let's go put it back no it feels nice it does feel nice I don't think you've ever written a sappy social media post for me it's really not me it's not me either I

feel like a douche I know every time it's his birthday I'll be like tell Tom happy 50th or like it's a joke it's never yeah yeah I know I can't do the like look at this woman oh my god every morning I see her oh yeah it's crazy dude and I don't feel like it's real and that's why it feels people see through it and then so it's all like made up I don't believe any of these people I just want to be honest to watch them though because I want to I want to just see and be their best friend I'll tell you what I'll write and be their best friend I'll get in there you can't be a and then I I will write an amazing one when you're dead like my you know I mean like like I can't wait to read it I think it'll be sooner than later but yeah I think so but it'll be beautiful I really think

well I think he's gonna have to hide how you died so yeah better be beautiful yeah he's gonna have to go as always I was on vacation obviously when this happened that's a place that we both love to go to you've never ever even expressed those like mushy like oh you're just the light of my life no that's not true maybe we got married like during your vows you were kind of like I like you here's the ring but I would I would believe in this marriage more than I would believe yeah any other marriage yeah absolutely real the it's very real what that's that y'all's marriage yeah yeah it's uh it's it's it's a different people lie they just they they're also but also I want to make another point I say something to her even like a little

bit in that lane of like appreciation right away she'll be like uh all right I mean I gotta take a shit I'm like what so like she's so uncomfortable that's a comic yeah that's no reason that she thinks like that because the comedians are not good I remember someone telling emotional intimacy we don't handle getting we you know when you're like dude you're so great you're like I really appreciate it yeah I remember uh having uh with meeting with Bill Burr I mean Burr and Derosa like back in New York a long time ago some uh you know where I don't really know I mean now I know Burr but I didn't like that point I was like yeah I can't believe him he's or hanging with him and the bartender told him oh she goes oh my brother like she goes where we love you my brother's

like obsessed with you he goes oh I appreciate it and she goes all right I guess you could take it better he goes I don't I'd rather you tell me that your brother hates me yeah I'll talk I would have more of a conversation yeah which is the kind of defeats the purpose of what we were saying earlier about yeah yeah it's a weird balance I understand if you're a fan it's it's hard to be like well how do you do it the best is when someone's like just a just a big fan yeah I always take a picture I'm down that's what he says too yeah just when someone goes big fan tell him respect that wonderful dude and there's that yeah like don't really talk to me a lot I'll take a picture though you take definitely yeah so yeah if you take take a pic take a quick picture yeah and be a big fan make sure

big fan don't count when you take a picture don't one two don't say say cheese yeah oh he won't do that I you know the one I don't do is they go they go give me the give the finger I'm like don't give me the dude I like no they'll tell me no give the finger to the camera like I don't want to yeah and they're like why I'm like because I don't want to yeah I don't because everybody's doing that yeah I don't want to do it because you want me like it's because you want me to do it yeah and that means everybody's doing that and do you really want that picture of you floating around the internet of you're being like what it's silly I'd rather pull my dick out and give the finger you know yeah it'd be huh do you um you know I met when I came to your show in royal oak

yeah you got the royal oak theater and I was at the what's the comic this is in Michigan yeah and I had to wait in the meeting great line to meet him remember that I don't remember that yeah that is so rude to do a comedian wait I didn't know as great as I knew you were there oh you knew I did you knew and I had to stay in the back of the line had a way to and I was like what are you fucking doing here man and I made you fucking up my vibe with the meet and greet yeah uh yeah yeah that's right that's right yeah yes you did yeah yeah and then uh yeah then we hung out at the rhyman and then we hung out at that outdoor awful rosebowl show yeah the night before you we haven't got a lot of we've talked we've texted a lot of

us because I do enjoy talking to you uh I think where you're at in your careers I've always you know it was like it's kind of like right near behind you like and you're going through and all these spots and like uh so I really enjoy talking to you about all this stuff because I know you enjoyed like all the because some of the business side of it all yeah so I do want us to see spend more time I feel Nate is more giving emotionally than than you might be like that like that he shares these thoughts with you like when I'm just telling you about your friendship that you guys are going to have moving forward but we are friends we do but I'm saying now it's going to be you guys actually and here's the thing I feel like I'm pretty good at this I can watch a special

for 15 minutes and know if it's a game changer for that person like I've I'm like I'm a thousand percent like and when I watched I put on the Tennessee kid I press pause and I started texting I was like you're going to be in theaters this year like I knew it like it yeah I could just tell it was very I was in Chicago yeah I remember texting oh really yeah yeah because then we talked a little bit because I was asking you kind of about that world oh yeah and doing I knew it and all that kind of stuff and uh yeah that's nice yeah and was made appreciative for you like thank you Tom we had a great conversation we had a great conversation I want to yeah we're going to get I want to hang out I want to go hopefully we can find time to it's hard to

just find time to do it I know it has to be in your life well it'd be great I'd like to get yeah what so we can really go sit and like I'm a lot closer to you I'm gonna be a lot closer to you so that's a shorter flight shorter flight yeah will you guys watch football together I would definitely watch football what football teams do you enjoy Vanderbilt I mean we just covered just Vanderbilt I know that was Titans all Nashville and Vanderbilt yeah the Titans are who's your protein the Bucks are no I just I don't really I mean I I kind of casually watch yeah the places I live so I lived in Sinsey Minneapolis Milwaukee close to my also typical comedy route go ahead yeah yeah I'll just watch casually watch those but I

all the hot scenes you go yeah but college is where it's at for me yeah yeah college is the best yeah so much fun it's so much more fun I I meet a lot of you know people I'm sure you have two they're like what and it's all you know they only care about NFL like why do you like I'm like I can't I'm not going to explain it to you you know and then I'll find out a lot of times it's northeastern people will typically oh it's all New York they don't cut the games and you're like yeah I know why you don't like because there's no good team around you yeah but when Rutgers was doing really good yeah when I was up there I remember they they would have Rutgers on all the channels like all the TV shows sure all right but they yeah they would know nothing about

college of course I'd be like Alabama L is yours playing and they're like so should we watch it you're like it's better it's more people want to watch that than your dumb giant jet game for sure like you know yeah yeah well like why why is it so big in the south because they're awesome at it like because they don't could you always name where everybody played college you know like for a while I think I probably have you'd lose it yeah get older yeah and you have kids I mean there's a point where I know everyone I know everyone's height and weight for you know I mean you can just bring I'm like oh he's like six four two seventy six yeah yeah yeah I got by went to a community college for a year mm-hmm no credits was there joke all remedial classes I have a joke about it but I

got in there was me and a bunch of people my age now in that class like it was all just like me and a bunch of moms that were going back to school and I took like math as a class and that took speech in my speech I gave I showed my highlight the highlight reel from Vanderbilt's 95 football season what where we went five and six the highlight rules from that and I just talked about it and I named all the players and I did it it was funny and it was like and I got an A like they were not crushed they loved it and I just was pausing it I was like well this game because Vanderbilt I've seen pretty wild stuff at Vanderbilt we were beating LSU one year it was seven to six not beating them seven to six we score with three seconds left ten seconds left or something like

that and we're going to go for two we're gonna go for the win LSU's ranked we're never beaten them yeah we get two delay game penalties and then get the extra point get blocked and we lose seven to six back to back delay game penalties and then the next day in the newspaper they go well well were you changing the play up they go now we're going to run the same play you're like then what were y'all talking about what was going on what he wouldn't offer wow he was uh our coach I don't know what's going on I've never seen nothing like it we also ran a fake punt against Georgia on our own 15 yard line to our punter and he got tackled immediately we lost the game I mean it was epic epic I remember when you almost beat Florida like a year or two a couple

seasons ago uh well we did beat them oh but the one with Cutler but I was talking about yeah okay with even Betsy is with was like that game was awesome yeah she loves Earl Bennett Earl Bennett got a delay game penalty in the end zone that game I was doing a show she gets it's all right she's upset about it I'm still this upset about I think about that play a lot you think they should have won yeah yeah Earl Bennett got robbed of the Jesus hey you know what go ahead and hit her pretty hard in the head oh yeah that's acceptable yeah that's what Tom wants to do um we're gonna show you some of Christina's they're called Christina's curations these are ones that don't make it onto the gram right too dangerous for the gram yeah here we go these are spec these are different

they're special flavors yeah they're all different all different types yeah these are for okay that is a crazy growl yeah it's not okay that's when those dogs I mean people always like defend this is a pit bull right yeah looks like it like so they always defend those dogs and you have to go we need to get some better PR yeah I mean like I look I want to be all it's that's the owner whatever the all this stuff is but you're like yeah that's a vicious crowd yeah for sure yeah it's bad thank you for watching uh oh thank you for sharing and thank you for caring I made you just snack oh you want to take a lick uh I think that was my teaching third grade uh I really didn't like him yeah that's why I put

it in there god I figured you'd hate him that that's ceiling screams uh apartment that's an apartment yeah lived in his own his whole life yep the hair the hair it's it's just like a silly dad dick joke too yeah I hate that he's so old doing the dad dick joke the dick joke look we a 20 year old guy this should be 20 yeah you're like that's funny does he have to get what if he gets on or he gets to take a regular phone call after this hello he's still got those things on his nipples what's the now I'll get her tomorrow I'll pick her up tomorrow uh I gotta buh buh buh he's trying to think of us a day yeah trying to try to be an organized professional so creepy but people put what could it be his job that everybody's like fine with this I feel like this guy could only work

retail yeah postal service could be he's not meeting the public yeah can I tell you why I'm gonna go warehouse warehouse yeah where he could definitely be a warehouse warehouse guy they love it dude yeah I mean and they're like you see Tim's fucking tiktok which changes the whole vibe on this because if he's a warehouse guy you're like it's kind of you're like I'm on boy I'm fine with it he's getting it out like he's like he's like I don't think he is I think he's long and lean because he's a postal worker and he walks all day long or ups you weren't real specific huh yeah could be okay maybe he's a factory could you uh infiltrate him and be his best friend this one I gotta tell you right off like I see what you're saying with you know can I be your best

friend I don't want to be his friend like I don't want to be his friend no I'm saying great though what if he goes dude that was like my weakest stuff she showed you what if he has some better video you gotta see some of my good stuff bro yeah let me tell you something you horse face bitch I've told you this confidentially now I'm telling you this publicly I don't give a fuck the only reason why you ain't out there whole and you went over there enjoying that damn church is because your ass is tired and you can't even buy a fuck you understand I'm saying you can't get a damn ass away and that's the only reason why you went over there enjoying that church and went to talking about going to heaven because before why your ass was out there walking them streets fucking and sucking

and doing every goddamn thing you was out there doing your motherfucking ass your ass was happy you were fine and now all of a sudden you can't fucking screw and make money like that no more now everybody else going to hell you go to hell your horse face motherfucker I think there's a lot of people that think that video is for them yeah like I mean there's not one specific person yeah so I was thinking too is like well who's like he didn't tag someone's name but and he also is publicly posting it right it's a public post but you don't think this is for one specific it is yeah but he's just putting it on I think a lot of people take it yeah as they're like oh that was that for me oh that was it for me oh thank god I think there's a lot of people in this guy's

life that think I think this is what he thinks of me but the boss of bosses talking to you the boss of course face motherfucker so he's the boss of bosses yeah I think he's talking to an actual real hoe right he's like you're not making the money because you're not there sucking fucking no more yeah I mean it's a powerful message it's a very powerful and I'm glad you added it to the folder like you think they guys this might be a little crunchy but I'm gonna do gut roasts and as much energy as I can let's see uh you gotta make sure your family is gone before you do that like I mean how long you're gonna be out I kind of need to know yeah you're gonna you're gonna eat right you can see a movie yeah let me see

the movie ticket yeah let me see it and why can't he talk before he's like a little bit chords blah blah I don't like how he talks no he's gonna laugh it's real mushy mouth yeah god it's horrible it's horrible music question to all the single ladies does your finger feel naked or does your down below does your kitty feel naked I just want to know haha funny I would like to know to comment thank you he did something interesting there he did kind of a spider man thing you know oh yeah he said haha funny yeah that is kind of like he told you I would like to know what he said admit uh I didn't really know what was going on he's a dad he's a dad funny message there you go comment are people commenting are these do they have like a lot of views yeah something

well I'll tell you the ones that I like not really but then sometimes there are those hits yeah sometimes and like so they have like they're talking I think there's an interesting uh I'll tell you my especially I'll talk about daughter makes videos like on her phone I'm sure I don't know if your kids do it they talk into the video right and they don't go anywhere and like so there's a there's a generation of people that are talking to an audience that's not there yeah and they're just in their phones they're talking like this guy is talking to people like message DM one of my favorite things uh I enjoy is if you see someone go like hey guys let me know what you think in a video a public video and there's no comments yeah yeah it's two views yeah and I'm like how do you

because how do you not go hey I'm not going to do that anymore I'll be you think that because you have a rational mind so this is an unstable yeah I see it all the time and you're like I think they're kind of embracing the the fake it till you make like I'm an act like yeah you know and I'm I'm an influencer or something yeah yeah it's super sad though I see a lot of influence some of the get that free stuff with those followers and I'm like could I be getting way more free stuff probably but you don't want it right no because then you have to be like yeah hi guys I like to use this brand of toilet paper whatever it is it feels gross yeah just depends on the the thing what they're asking people get all kinds of stuff people get all kinds of stuff

yeah yeah as a borderline sociopath I'm actually quite non-expressive and I've had to train myself to be expressive so that I seem more approachable to others because when I talk and look at people the way that I do they get kind of weirded out sometimes hmm I don't see that yeah I've never related more to a video on life do you think we both kind of get what that guy's going yes he's essentially us dude yeah do people tell you that you're unapproachable and no no I'm I'm I vary I do not ever want to make someone feel bad right it's like that's my crowd work I mean yeah like that would never do it to like I would break my heart if someone feels I don't want anybody to think I'm better like I think no no no I don't

mean that you think that but do people ever go like you know I thought you were uh standoffish or you know intimidating I mean dude no but I'll meet someone and they they're like this dude's my best friend really like I'm yeah you ever meet someone and you're I always think that as a comic sometimes you can meet someone and they and they're like Ali we're really good friends you're like yeah my job is to convince an audience that we're best if I get you one-on-one dude I'm gonna destroy you like you're gonna be you're gonna probably be like I'll be your best man in your wedding right I'm that's our only skill man our skill is to be like dude we're buddies we're I'm never gonna forget one-on-one it's dangerous that's about Tom Cruise yeah Tom Cruise is yeah

you get alone in the room with him about cytology you're gonna become one for sure that's what he is his whole career is his charm it's true you can't handle you can't you can't bat that away it's unbelievable yeah it's true it's true Dr. Ed Zimmerman the Dick Doc on tiktok delivering answers to your questions here's another doc how do I make my penis longer that's a tough one think about it after you've gone through puberty your arms don't get any longer your legs don't get any longer and your penis doesn't get any longer you can do things to make it appear longer for a period of time you can put him in a penis pump that's going to stretch him so he appears longer and fully engorged you can do something called julking which hangs weight off of him appears to have him stretch

a little bit you can eliminate the fat at the base of the penis which makes the penis appear longer but the actual anatomic distance from the very base to the very tip it's still the same this is the doc on tiktok bringing you the truth about length and the okay I think whoever asked that question would have just handled with a no yeah I know like I mean if you're asking a doctor that question you're not you'd be like dude I gotta go no just say no I just want to know what this guy's hat size is it feels like he's got one of the biggest heads I've ever seen what does he have on his head he has like a welder master gancho in like his face and head yeah his head and his hands look enormous and just husky with his lot of work do you have to wear that mask I don't know isn't that a

is that a that's a cock mask he flips it down like a welder take your pants down I'll tell you I'll get it longer I don't like that he calls the penis a heat I mean how do we know the gendering of one's penis it's completely apparently he does it he gender labeled I bet he's got a hog on him I think he does have a fat one when you get a when you answer a question like that when you just shut the dreams down of every guy on earth like you yeah he's totally dead I mean his dick is pink too yeah like his face he's got a bow you think if you look at his boat's name you know what he does oh for he's the dick talking on tiktok yeah you don't think he took that to the boat too for sure yeah yeah he's a he's great at it yeah yeah his bow is called like you know the tip or something

like you know you never go there and you don't know who his wife is yeah you're like wait who's your wife who's your daughter it's gonna be a good day because it's only 11 30 a.m. and I've already taken a shit three times a day it's a good ass day I don't think yeah I just like I don't think it's a good day you know if you're doing it three times it's a lot at 11 30 what time did you get up yeah I was she should say that and also she should just be like I have diarrhea yeah if she's like I've been up since six I might be okay but she's like I woke up at 11 I might be like oh boy hey on my way to Miami baby yeah the 305 baby yeah fuck baby fuck yeah on my way to Miami yeah yeah the 305 see you there baby fuck baby fuck

he's just enthusiastic and I like that about him yeah I don't know does he know is this how when you first learned English is this how you were I don't know you do you think so much tell me like you don't say fuck that much though like you just use it sometimes no you left the you do it and you left you quit saying the other stuff the 305 fuck baby fuck oh boy good morning my queen I was just downstairs fixing your breakfast everything's ready for you come on go jump in the shower and when you're done come down and get your breakfast I love you my queen you want a back rub oh I'll tell you what after you get your shower give me a call downstairs

and I will come up and give you a nice back rub before your breakfast why don't you do this for me come on put them feet on the ground and take off running never you never love me as much as he all right I'll see you in a little bit I love you my queen how big is this woman that he's talking to that he can't get up off the floor is why what's this so I've seen this is the angle yeah this angle his thing is like he's doing like a personal message but it's really you know like you're the lady who's like oh this is how I treat you yeah exactly I'll make you breakfast yeah you're a queen yeah you know the coffees are the showers running and the back rub is a new feature that's a new feature just started just started back rubbing yeah does he ever like lean the phone like

sit on a pillow where it looks like it's you know that's what he's like don't come over over her you wait you don't like how this is lit yeah I mean I think you could do more well what I like about this video and that's kind of a regression in in terms of his work his opus is that I mean the intro it took a good three seconds to get into the story and on tiktok you don't have the luxury of time it's a 15 second story yeah that was 15 seconds it felt longer now that was longer oh it could be a 30 second talk oh but still time is money and there's not a lot of real estate yeah well I mean walking into it was a lot took a long time and then this breakfast is cold by the way like he honestly you want her to get your breakfast is ready

but go take a full shower this is how he actually he used to do and let it cool down let that breakfast get nice and cool very nice boobs you guys keep it up I love the videos of the no brawl you guys have a good day so that's kind of how he came onto the scene good sound quality people were sitting in I think he was asking for just you know yeah in general yeah like dude does he send it and then he got I think that's his truck it's a yeah he's a truck driver oh so that's him as he starts his shift and then as it's real loud and here's his more famous pov talk good morning my queens above 18 come on open them eyes up I got your breakfast ready coffee's on breakfast is on come on you got to go to work I know shut up there you go

so yeah you know he role plays and just imagine what's what but if you're if we're making it up why do you make her have a job oh that's like and this is all fictional why don't you like yeah you're like I like he's basically like if you get my life look I'll treat you great but you'd definitely have to work working like I mean we can't yeah yeah yeah he should be like I got you got you some I gotta go to Gucci today and buy yourself a nice if you want to see I think this is the one with the top tier acting hold on good morning my queen above 18 watch this much yes it's time to wake up come on yes you are my queen what how did you sleep I slept good isn't that great oh he heard yeah a question yeah I mean he

just improv that that's pretty and then he said it yeah yeah because it was because it's like it's like when someone yells at you in the front and you you gotta repeat what they say so the whole show sure yeah and that's what he did smart I don't think everybody heard I don't think it hurt you why do you think you are my queen what how did you sleep I mean just amazing and it's just how many of these people like did they reach out to y'all oh I've met him oh I've had a picnic a romantic picnic with the king oh you got eyes on him at least yeah yeah do you want to know what he likes for breakfast I don't know if this made the final cut of the video I asked him like what's hot breakfast for you

sounds like you're really into it and he's like um bacon ham steak sausage I'm like that's all meat he's like yeah it's keto yeah he's in the keto why are you giving him a hard time that's what he eats he's obviously doing a good diet okay let me see I think I got another one what what would your wife do Nate if you were like this or are you this sweet to her uh no you know my wife always says you might be like uh I always say it's mean she never thinks because either they ask like if you're with comedians is it always funny or is it always whatever and uh so she'll say if I do something funny she's like oh here's our 30 seconds of fun and that's what she'll tell me like I was like I'm only funny 30 seconds and I always tell her that's one of the meanest things ever yeah

but I do then say it is a pretty high professional fun yeah I think I'm at least bringing a professional level of comedy right in that 30 seconds that's right so someone else is giving you maybe 10 minutes but it's garbage garbage I'm bringing the heat yeah for 30 that's true that's legit man and she should be a little more appreciative if I could say something yeah I think I'd appreciate it hello ladies how you doing good thanks I am single 46 years old I'm faithful honest and truthful I'm looking for a good woman too there it is that's where it is okay well there's this this is when you see a guy like that and you want to go like dude we're not almost the same age right oh my god I know he said 46 you're like come on man no uh I'm 42 yeah and you're like

yo dude we're not not don't act like we're the same like there's no way it's not looking good no way not good and honest and truthful aren't those similar traits yeah but also honest and truthful and when people lead with that it's because they've had real issues with it here's the thing I don't steal I don't cheat I ain't a liar I'd stop stabbing people yeah okay yeah that's so true that was fun admitted that that felt like it was pretty good too it was pretty good come on you too fucking undertakers that was fun I don't know how I just want to know how he's got a phone just like amazing yeah it's good yeah ja ja ja ja one more time I feel like the person that

live he goes all right do you mind posting that for me and the guy took his phone back here's my account let me give you my login real quick I'll do it in the private browser it won't it won't stay in there just real quick okay one more time this is what we do when we're bringing in groceries from outside we put our cats in here because guys I swear it's no animal abuse or nothing these motherfuckers run out every second they get this motherfucker's trying to run out when he's in the basket I just thought that was cute the perils are opening you can't but don't talk to them like they're your boys yeah yeah what's up motherfucker come on yeah should have a better relationship but you can't oh no

uh so it's like the joke right wouldn't you have your backdrop be a little bit better of a like you don't you know I don't look like we're back there's so upsetting the whole thing I'm so amazed that men post these kinds of videos because you think and you save them I love them I posted this one for mother's day they're getting a lot of views to be honest they're making it but then don't they want to get laid I always think that yeah they do but not this guy I bet I mean they then are on your podcast true I mean and honestly my this is working out unbelievably for these yeah that's true just want to say thank you kick talk for reviewer my case and unbend my big white butt so a lot of times people get banned from

I don't understand the physical both of you have the same expression it's like the so a lot of times tick talk will ban you if they feel your content is inappropriate I myself got banned for the first time they banned my videos for one week I wasn't allowed to post any new content so he thinks that they've reviewed his case and because like a committee reviewed his tick talk case that that's why he's been reinstated can you imagine you're you're going to an office and you go all right what we go do today and you're like all right we got the crazy teddy bear let's go through all his stuff and there's like people in suits that have to go through watch and then watch his stuff and watch his stuff you realize that this guy's

what about to die no of course no what do you mean he's in good health he's at the multiple foreheads yeah I mean this is the only position he can breathe in yes exercises you haven't seen his fitness account this is this gram no he's oh my god this is so sad he got out to go get that tattoo that was years ago you go what was it it was a little flower I guess to turn it holy shit he goes what was that oh boyfriend and I don't want it and if I want one I could have four or five of them if I want but I don't want to associate with nobody do you think she really could have four or five or five is a lot I think in uh if she's in a nursing home yeah I think a nursing home is pretty wild yeah you know what I always said when I would get

if I get old I'm way on board with the nursing home really I get it you hang out like people your age and like foods like you don't think about your food that you got your meals already pre-made sure they go you go through like a buffet it's like you're in high school again yes true seems unbelievable that's true but it smells and it's also sad well it depends on which one you yeah you have to hopefully plan to get to go I think I'd go with 55 you can try to get in there early did you know that you'd be the man you would fuck it's a lot dude I might meet you there obviously can't bring her wife you know they're dead we live different lives yeah but then then the the new girls they obviously don't know how to use phones so they're not going to be

yeah all up on us in social media they won't see our real families that's so cool yeah we would doubt yeah dude if you guys went into it do you know the good those shows would be we would murder dude nursing like here's a private comedy show we have some talent staying here at the let me go up there and just flex some guy goes up there and does like a song where he like whistles through his hands like like that's his talent rip him apart we just destroy him he kills himself the next day we're all there with that ambulance it'd be so great we get so much like like the A level puss at the nursing home but that's just big I don't want to get crazy but I've heard she's only 49 oh my god real young and

all right so make sure you check out Nate Bargazzi on tour all the tickets at nakerbargazzi.com they're on sale now make sure you go see him he's an amazing comedian watch his specials on Netflix listen to the podcast also yeah Nate the Nate land podcast Nate land podcast it's not this podcast so don't uh yeah if you I won't be offended if you don't no there are a lot of people will check it out for sure um and uh yeah thanks for coming in man this is I was very glad uh gonna do this yeah this is very cool it's fun seeing you uh closing song is coming up in May the hen dog remix we'll see you guys next week you got that beautiful mouth you got that

you better coming up in May you better believe I'm coming up in May I would just I would just I would just I would just put your balls in my mouth put them in my hand and suck and suck and suck and suck and suck and suck and you got that beautiful mouth you got that working my way down a little bit just a little bit get on it if you want me to suck on that if you want me to play with your cheeks I would rub your cheeks and massage your little hole and and make you feel you're just it uh okay you're just it uh come on show me that you like me no show me that you like me no suck it dry you're gonna just suck it dry mark no come on give it to me mark don't be stingy give it to me mark don't be stingy that's my hole that's

where it spits you better coming up in May I would just I would just I would just I would just you got that beautiful mouth you got that you better coming up in May I would just I would just I would just I would just I'm half cut yeah cuz I got cut when I was adult the doctor messed it up I had what they called Oriental Warts he was supposed to circumcise me so that I wouldn't have the problems that's as far as you got I just pulled the skin forward normally when it's asleep and when it gets big well comes right out I still don't take anything for enhancement enhancement all natural all natural oh yeah you better coming up in May you better believe I'm coming up in May I would just I would just I would just you got that beautiful

mouth you got that you better coming up in May I would just I would just I would just