Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - 617 - Ryan Sickler - Your Mom's House with Christina P and Tom Segura

Episode Date: August 18, 2021

SPONSORS: - Go to https://stamps.com, click on the microphone at the top of the homepage and type in MOM to get a a 4-week trial PLUS free postage and a digital scale. - Go to https://Grove.com/MOM and you will get to choose a FREE starter set with your first order. - Go to https://Squarespace.com/MOM for a free trial and when you’re ready to launch, and use the offer code MOM to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain - Policygenius has saved customers an average of $1,250 per year on their home and auto insurance. Head to https://policygenius.com to get started right now. - Save up to 65% off your subscription when you go to https://BABBEL.com/MOM. - Check out https://Fiverr.com and use code MOM to get 10% off your first order! - Go to https://BlackRifleCoffee.com/MOM today to get the new Cold Brew Packs. - Go to https://ForHims.com/mom and get your first visit absolutely free! WHAT? This week on YMH, Tom Segura and Christina P are still keeping their jeans high and tight through the eye infections and smashed ankles! We get a lunch update from Tom and reveal Nadav's secrets to reaching his healthy/morbidly obese weight! Did you know you could buy cookie dough by the pint?! We watch a new Fedsmoker video where he terrorizes an innocent bystander, AND we discover a guy who surgically transitioned into becoming Korean! We watch an insane video that revolts Christina and gets Tom to put his head in a trash can. Then we get into some brown talk and see a guy really frustrated with how his body doesn't completely evacuate EVERYTHING it's got. Then, Ryan Sickler returns to Studio Jeans and joins Tom Segura! Ryan discusses an altercation with a construction worker he had, and Tom warns him to look out for wasps/waspes! They'll really get you! Ryan then talks about his brother's snake/animal phase as a kid. He was pulling all sorts of really intense pranks that absolutely no one would be down with. Sickler shares an intense story about "turfing" someone's yard as a kid and getting extremely lucky. They analyze a British cool guy being nuisance on a construction site, watch "Horrible or Hilarious" videos and clips of people flubbing Bert Kreischer's name.

But call me a chomo. Oh, shit. What an introduction. I tell you, I'm always having to be back here alive. Hey, welcome to another episode of your mom's house. Please do not use gendered language. We're so happy that you're here. We're happy to be here.

I'm coming to you from Los Angeles, California. At my side is my always beautiful co-host, Christine. You look great. And joining us from Austin, Texas is the one and only Christina P. Hey, Christina. How you doing? Hi.

Good. I still have pink eye. You do? I was about to ask you, are your eyes still retarded? Yeah. Yeah, they don't, they're not, they're better, but they don't look good enough to be on a web show. Okay, web show.

Who am I? Who am I? Well, you know what I mean? Cause like, that's all I need is. Who are you? Show me. Who are you going to do? Here I am.

Yeah. Oh, you're Michael Jackson. No, Lee. Oh, your Lionel Richie, your Lady Gaga. Did I get it right? Babe. Oh, I got you. You're Elton John.

You love him. You love him. Elton John. Did I get it? Keith Richards. No, no. I don't know. I give a print.

Oh, yeah. Cause of the shades and the piano and the head bob. I fucked up. Got it. You fucked up homie. You did, you did it right. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

How you feeling? How you doing today? Okay, man. The eye thing's bumming me out more than the ankle. I got to tell you, you know, it's just, it's annoying. It's really annoying, but it's going to clear up soon. It'll, it'll, it'll happen. I have faith.

How are you farts? Are you in a good mood? Yeah, I'm doing great. No, I'm doing great. We had a nice lunch, had a salad with chicken. I'm very healthy. I always eat healthy. I've never overeaten before in my life.

Everything's good. I think you're being sarcastic. Did you, did you really have a salad? I really did. Yeah. With chicken. More importantly, what did Nadal have? I think he ate healthy too.

Didn't you? I had a salad too. So as you know, Christina, this story checks out. Yep. Yep. Yeah, we're doing, we're doing great here. We're a bunch of healthy boys. Well, ask him what he had over the weekend.

That's where the fun happens. What'd you have over the weekend, native? Oh boy. Yeah, I really punished myself. I think I had, uh, I had some Korean barbecue. I had some, uh, hot chicken. I had some, uh, I think I'll poil loco and then some Tommy's burgers. And then on Sunday, uh, I think I had a lot of the same shit.

I think I had like a big sushi thing. And then I, I really put, I really put my working on the weekends. I eat like a hummingbird here at the studio, but, uh, I really make up for it. Nice. And then do you, are you a sweet sky? Do you eat like desserts and stuff and, you know, pastries and, uh, yeah. Like I love me some ice cream. Ice cream is my favorite.

What's your favorite ice cream? Oh, I would say maybe like a chocolate chip cookie dough or mint chocolate chip. You like mint chocolate chip. See, I like chocolate chip, but I don't like the mint chocolate chip. I hate mint anything. It's like eating toothpaste. Why don't you just put toothpaste in your mouth? Cause it, cause it tricks you into thinking it's healthier than the old chocolate one.

Ah, it's a little minty fresh. You're like, this is helping my mouth when I eat it. Yeah. And when you go through a pint, two pints, gallon, what do you eat normally? Uh, about a pint, about a pint. But I just found this place next to me that just sells cookie dough by the pint. So I've, I've migrated over to that and I'll tell you what, don't feel great. Don't feel great.

There's probably a fair amount of sugar in that, I'm guessing. Oh yeah. It's the biggest thing that's like, I know I got to do something and then every time I'm about to like kick it into like big diet, but I'm like, just one more pint of cookie dough and I'll get there. Yeah. And then it's just always a perpetual one more pint. Mm hmm.

You know what's interesting, Nadal, about your food choices is that they're really international because he was like, I started Korean and then there was some hot chicken, hot chicken, the Blacks love, right? The Blacks are into that. And then he went Tommy boys, which is violence already. I mean, you're going to diet, you're going to get diarrhea from that. Yeah. You're going to like the way you shit with Tommy's burgers.

Yeah. I guarantee it. Tommy's makes a good burger. And then, oh, it's the best. And then you had a pint of cookie dough. Yeah. To take it home. And some sushi.

Sushi was a new thing. Sushi. Got some Japanese food in there. I'm a real international man. I'm, I'm guessing there is not a healthy bowel movement at the end of this. Well, it's been one continuous one since Sunday. Yeah, man. No, it's really great.

Weren't you doing keto though? I was for like two days and then I think, I think. That's right. Right as you're getting into the out of the fog. No, yeah. It's right when the diarrhea starts. Yeah. And then I was just like, you know what?

It's someone's birthday. I'm not going to, I only have so many more months in LA. So I'm just like, you know what? I'm going to really be dumb for the next little while. Okay. And then I'm like, you know what? And then I'll move to Austin where there's no tempting food around. None.

No. Yeah. And then I'll just be back to salads. There you go, man. Well, I like your plan. Oh my God. The food is so good here too. Like I have to actively not eat barbecue every other day.

Yeah. You got to give it. It is like twice a month. Maybe that's a good, you know, I mean, if you're trying to live somewhat healthy twice a month. Yeah. I mean, I've been, I've been eating so much here and I've only had one dud meal this whole time.

Like everything's been killer. You're going to get so much fatter here. Yeah. I'm already at my top right now. Yeah. I'd, I'd really love it if I didn't see a higher number than I currently do. Do you say your number or no?

Is it a secret? I mean, it's hard to get enough shit. I think I'm going to just not, just know I'm morbidly obese. Okay. Tell me when we're done recording. I want to know. Sure. Okay.

Yeah, I have to know too. What do you think it is, Tom? No, I don't want to say. I don't want to guess. You want to guess? No, no, don't guess. Don't guess. I can never guess men's weights.

If you're a woman and you're not like dealing with that all the time, you, you're not going to guess correctly. I think it's hard for men to guess correctly with women too. If you're not really, you know, used to figuring out what that number should be or like, how much, how much do you think I weigh? I don't know. That's the thing is I don't know.

What do you think a woman, what do you think a woman like me weighs? Yeah. 265. Nailed it. I'll see. See, that was a selecting guess. I don't know.

Did I do right? Is that good? That's exactly. I don't want to be a fan. I didn't offend you. Did I? No, 265 is on my lighter end. It's before I lift.

Okay. Once I start training, it can get up to 280 at least. It feels like a healthy weight for a woman. 5758 should be about 285, something like that. But I'm strong. Right. It's mostly muscle. I get it.

Well, muscle weighs more than fat. That's what I always tell people when they tell me, Tom, you're fat. I go, well, I'm fucking, I got huge muscles. That's what my sweet Pilates trainer tells me when I'm like, I'm weighing myself. I'm not losing weight. She's like, well, muscle weighs more than fat.

Yeah. I mean, while she weighs like 105. That's it. Yeah. All right. Let's, let's, I got a great opener for you. Let's, let's open. Oh, okay.

You ready to party? Shit. You ready to get this party started? I'm ready to fucking party, bro. Here you go. I'm young as they are. Jauneun, Jimin, Imita. Hey guys, I'm finally Korean.

I've transitioned. I'm so, so happy I've completed my look. I'm finally Korean guys. I have the eyes. Just had a brow lift as well. Um, so I'm so happy. Finally, I've been trapped in the wrong body for eight years. And that's the worst feeling in the world when you're trapped

and you don't feel like you can be yourself. But finally, I'm Korean. I can be myself and I'm so, so happy. Hmm. This shit is big time. Who is Randy? Don't bring anyone loving to this. Yo mama in the fucking stand.

Welcome, welcome, welcome to your mom's house. With Tom Segura, Tom Segura, and Christina Pajitse. Christina Pajitse. Welcome to your mom's house. He's finally Korean. Oh no. Wow. That's so cool.

He's at the beginning too. He went, Namsananyo. Yeah. He probably just learned that, um, expression while he was in the hospital. His paper is fucking butter. Oh no. It's pretty cool though. Yeah.

To be transracial. Yeah, it is. I've heard of this before. Obviously, the famous Rachel Dolezal and, you know, she was, she was famously black even though she's not, you know what I mean? But she was like, yeah, but I feel it. How did she make her skin darker though? Was it like soul man where she took pills?

I don't know. I think she was actually rubbing something, you know, on her, a cream, something like that. Yeah. It was pretty cool. It's so cool. It's like, I get it. I'm really good.

I felt, I felt very close to other ethnicities in which I were Asian too. I wish I was Asian sometimes. I love Asian people. Specifically Korean. I mean, that would be great, you know. Dude, I love Korea. I've been there. I had a really good time.

I love their food more than any other food. I get wanting to feel like you're something else. Yeah. It's kind of bold that this individual obviously has an accent. They're not from here. I don't think they look Korean now. I think they're going to be really bummed out when someone's like, I got to tell you something.

I think we fucked up. You're, you're, you're Thai and she's like, oh fuck. It goes under surgery again and they're like, how do you feel about Japanese? No. This is like me waking up and being like, I am a fucking Jew. I can't just do that. I have to go through the process, you know.

That's so true. But what about me? I feel like I'm trans Jewish because I feel very Jewish in my heart. I think I am Jewish. And also your mother told you that you might be. She told me constantly that we were actually Jewish, but we had to hide it because of, you know, that whole Hitler thing. Yeah.

Real knucklehead, that guy. God, that guy is such a knucklehead. What a dope. Yeah. He made it such a challenge to be that way, you know. A challenge indeed. It made it a little inconvenient to be Jewish. Just super challenging period, you know.

Yeah. She told me, she said, you know, Christakie, we are actually Jewish because your grandmothers made the name was that that, but this means a bird. The birds and animals and colors are Jewish last names in Hungarian. This and that. I'm like, all right, dude, I think we are. I think I am. You feel it.

You still feel it in my heart. Well, why don't you go get, why don't you get a operation on your eyes and make it a full thing, you know? Jewish surgery, Jewish eyes. Yeah. Get your Jew eyes ready. You know what I mean? What are, what are Jew eyes like?

Well, right now your eyes are all puffy and stupid and no one thinks you're a Jew. So why don't you go where he went and ask them to be like, hey, you know, chew me up a little bit. You know what I mean? It's a great idea. I think I'm going to get Jewish eyes. Oh, we're looking at Jewish eyes right now. Oh, there's Anne Frank.

This is a real nice search. Oh, no. Shit. You just bring a photo of her and you're like, I want to look like this. You're like, she's a child. Anne Frank me. I mean, can we pick a more uplifting Jewish example? Gosh.

Well, kind of a bummer. You know what? The reason that that what came up is because, you know, That's a lovely song. Wow. Yeah. That was the best. Grass kingdoms, I believe made that.

Yeah. So, but yeah, I mean, the, the delusion you have to have to be like, I had this surgery and now I'm Korean level of mental illness involved with this fucking person. And also the level of an unethicalism, unethicism. Is that a thing on the part of the surgeon? How unethical are you? I don't think the surgeon is going, you want to be Korean? I think the surgeon is probably like, yeah, we can give you that eye lift.

You know, you want an eye lift? I lift. Right. I'm saying, you know, I can do this procedure on your eye. It's not, I'm not making you Korean. Hold on. I'm doing what you want me to do. This what on your eye?

What? This. Surgery? This. What? You said the word. Procedure. Procedure?

Oh, I thought you, I thought you said procedure. No, procedure. Oh, okay. P-R-O. Pro, you mean to say it like procedure? Well, you like a procedure done to your eye? Um, no, I was just saying procedure, like, oh, the dude in the procedure, I just didn't know.

Procedure. Pro. Procedure. Procedure. I didn't say procedure. It sounded like it. No one here heard that. Just so you know.

Nadab, did you hear procedure? No. I heard Tom say procedure just the way it's pronounced. No, that's because you're afraid. He's not afraid. Let me see those Jewish eyes. What? When Jewish eyes are smiling.

I don't know. Was there a nice song about Jewish people? Uh, not our eyes? What, what race would you be, Tom, if you had to choose? I gotta tell you. This thing I got going right now is pretty sweet. It says gendered white male. It's the devil.

It is the best. Yeah. I know not everybody likes it, but I'm going to write it for the, until the brakes fucking fall off. Yeah. Well, your Latinx blood. I mean, that's, but you present as a white says gendered male. So it doesn't matter that you're a Latinx too.

True. True. That's very true. If you could switch races, what would you be? Oh, you said, well, you're not, being Jewish is not switching a race, but you'd be Asian. Oh, ask Nadav. I think Nadav would consider Jewish a race. Well, I mean, that's a whole debate.

It borders with ethnicity. Okay. All right. I mean, Touche. I know, I would be a small Japanese woman. I think they're so pretty. Like Marie Kondo. Go see the surgeon.

I know. I'd be, I'd be like a tiny Japanese girl. I love them. Yeah. I love them too. Yeah. Different reasons, but I love them too. They're so, so tiny.

So we got a, I'm real excited. We got a new fed smoker video. Touch my camera to the fence, you faggot. You want to see what he does? This is the best. I mean, how does he, he keeps creating content. I'll give you a little bit of context. I only watched the very beginning of this, but just so you go into it with the right

mindset, somebody sees his absolutely bananas car and just takes a picture of it because they're like, oh, this is a crazy car. And Connell sees that and engages the person who you can tell is like, has no idea what's about. It's literally walking through a parking lot. Look at this crazy car. It takes a picture. And then Connell puts the full fucking business on him.

Okay. Nice. Nice. I always take a picture of people filming my car because you never can tell who they are. All the times they try to send their friends at me to try to die in a roundabout way. I put cops in prison with this car and they think they want to be part of social media. But what I do, you're not social media.

Yeah. I don't think so. What I do is I give them a baby raper stamp on their forehead, but you slipped. You're not going to get the stamp. So that guy's like, huh? I was just taking a picture of your crazy car, man. And he's like, baby rapers. What?

Look at the car that we had set up, brother. Isn't it set up beautiful? No. Yeah. This car puts cops in prison, brother. It really does. The sickest pigs in the world go to prison. Well, at least lose their badge.

They rather fire you than even mention why you've died. Most of them rape children or burn houses down and steal evidence. Yeah. Steal crap and go take it home to their family and give it to their families. Then that's what I do when a crazy person says something to me. You just go like, yep. Yeah. You hear him?

Yeah. Yeah. Because you know not to push back. Like, yeah, yeah. No, I hear you. Of course. Come to this side. I want to show you the most important thing without even looking because I know my beautiful

car. I know what it's a table of. Look down here. You know, I've been gone for quite some time. Look at the lower. Look into this thing. See that dash cam? See it cooking under there?

It never shuts off. You know why? Because people want to be movie stars. They want that baby vapor stamp. All of their face. And it's a gift that just keeps giving. Imagine being this guy. He's like, I'm about to die.

So crazy. I bet that guy regrets taking a picture of his car. Of course he does. Immediately. He's like, I'm just going to delete this real quick, man. Sorry about that. This is your car. You know what's your car?

This is the car you only had to pay for once. And then they sold it. And guess what? I bought it. I fixed it up the way it should be. It's a 205. See, I fixed it up the way it should be. See how those cameras, they just don't shut off?

Cameras aren't supposed to shut off. Just because you shut the car off, don't mean the cameras still shut off. They're supposed to cruise. They're supposed to cruise and cruise and cruise so that... My man is yacked right now. So we can make tween things up in his asshole, brother. This guy's just trying to get away. You know, he's just like, yeah, are we done?

Like just wanting to walk away. Well, and Connell's so stoked to have somebody to talk at. Oh, sure. He's just so happy to like, hey, come here, come here. Don't just feel like now after watching so much of his stuff that like, you know all the beats that are like, you know, put cops away, put these pigs away, get the baby raper stamp. And you, like to us now, we're like, yes, but he does.

But that guy, that's his first time. He's like, oh, I mean, imagine somebody telling you, I'm not going to give you the baby raper stamp on your forehead. You're like, okay. And then, and then. And then he fist pounds. Here you go, brother. You're not getting the stamp.

Yeah. Thank you. That is so wild. And you're right. We're so used to it. We're like, oh, that's what he does. Oh, it's so crazy. It is absolutely insane.

They want to go to prison. They want to meet Baba. You know, there's a lot of black people in prison that never get to come out. They want fresh meat. They want fresh Twinkies. They really do. I've talked to them all. They can't help it.

They're never coming out ever again. So they want new Twinkies. And cops just happen to provide some of the best Twinkies in the world for them. Do you believe me? I don't doubt it. Yeah. I don't doubt it. See, when crazy starts right, you just go, yeah, I'm on your side.

Yeah, dude. No, no, I think you're a fucking 100% right. Yeah. That's what I would do if I met him too. I'd be like, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, man. Do you need money? I'm sorry.

God, I just, I can't believe. I can't believe this guy got to Rome's streets for as long as he did. Like it just, it blows my freaking mind. Just putting dirty cops away all over the country. I mean, that's a full-time job. Full-time job. I can't believe they didn't just put him away against his will at some point. I know.

He's such a menace there. I also can't believe he's gone. I can't believe he's gone. I can't believe he's gone. Connell de Menace. Connell de Menace. Up there in heaven now. Rest in peace.

Rather in it in heaven. Better in it when you're feathering it. Oh, man. It's set up for giving people instant exorcisms on the side of the road. When the devil's in them, we can get the devil out of them without even saying a prayer. Sometimes it's not enough time. We just got to get the devil out of them. You've just ruined your life.

Yep. Do you think Connell had a kid? Yes. I would guess. He strikes me as the guy that has a daughter. He's just got a daughter out there. Sweet adverse. She's like 26 right now.

Sweet adverse. Yeah. She probably doesn't know. I'm guessing. I don't think she knows him. Man. That is just... Thanks for showing me that.

I always feel uplifted after watching him menace somebody. Well, here. Let's cleanse the palette. Okay? You're supposed to be a follow-up video. Let's see what happens here. Okay. Welcome to the Daily Booger with the Booger Man.

A little stuffed up today. Let's see what we got. He's actually peaking it out. Right? I'm just gonna bring it in the brush. Oh my God. I'm gonna throw up. I'm gonna vomit.

Guys. What's that? Look at him. Dude. That's... Oh my God. Oh my fucking... Why are you showing this to me?

I don't understand why you did this. Why did you do this? I'm gonna throw up. Take it off. Did you just throw up? Take it off. I almost did. Oh my God.

That was the worst thing I've ever seen. I bought Bert a present. I hope you're cool with it. It was 185. Oh, good. Okay. Oh, great. I'm sure Leanne's gonna love him on that, too.

He'll be fine. Oh, that made me sick. That's a good scene. Why are you bumming me out today? I'm not bumming you out. I'm just looking through this folder. Dude, I came in like such good vibes. I mean, I feel great.

I feel great. I'm in a good mood. You want to see the... Bookers. Sorry. You want to see the British version of a fed smoker? All right. All right.

The building, a large building here. And here you can see the central foundations, the emergency staircase shaft and concrete. Always nice to see. Hello, mate. How are you? I'm just getting a shot from my YouTube channel of the construction.

Why? Why make it quick? Why are you telling me what to do? What do you mean I'm not allowed to do it? In there, tell your friends what to do. Don't tell me what to do. I'm not telling you that. I used to come through this site.

You haven't got the rights to be using your cameras. You can be a criminal. I don't know who you are. Why are you calling me a criminal? Because you have got a camera recording a... Is it because I'm an Arab? You're calling me a criminal. Are you being racist?

Really? I'm black. Either you're going to let me do what I'm doing, or you're going to try and stop me. I'm going to be in your face. You're back off then. Because you might be a criminal. I don't know who you are.

That's it. I'm telling you now. My name's Charlie. I'm an Arab. I don't care. You might be anybody. Charlie the Arab. I don't care.

Charlie the Arab. I don't care. So I don't know you. You've got no idea with you. You're recording the construction site. You've got tools here, power tools and everything. Can I tell you something? This is a great picture on this camera.

Yeah. The clarity. It's too good for the show. It's good. Isn't it great? Yeah. I'm surprised. Me too.

Do you know what I was just thinking though, is how sweaty his head must be too with all the braids. It's got to be real hard. And the hard hat on top. Yeah. Yeah, good call. Yeah, I'm just thinking how sweaty this poor man's head must be. Well, just in construction in general too.

You're sweating your ass off. Hauling shit around. Telling potential criminals to get lost, you know? Makes you all sweaty. Yeah. You're still thinking about that bug? Yeah. I'm just thinking about why the choices you've been making.

I thought they were good choices. I mean, all right. Sorry. Do you forgive me? I do forgive you. I love you. I came to party, you know? Me too.

I thought we were having a party. I thought we were having a good time. Yeah. Show me something uplifting. Okay. Pick something fun. All right. I'll get out of this.

Give me my pink eye. My pink eye thing. Hold on. Hold on. Let me look for it here. Let me see what you'll like. Okay. You'll like this.

Right. Oh, yeah. I think you'll like this. Fuck pooping, man. I hate the way humans poop. It sucks. It's designed badly. We need a change.

I need an upgrade. Okay. Okay. I'm down. This happens like four or five times a week. And I can't quite get it all out. There's still a nugget or two left in my colon. And I know it's there.

I feel that there's still poo in me. Most of the poo is already in the toilet, but that last bit just won't come out. No matter how hard I put. So I'm like, okay, I don't want to spend another hour on the toilet trying to get this last bit of poo out. So I'll just leave it in there. Whatever. Till next time.

You with him? I'm following. Yeah. But then I get to wiping. And that's not, that's not fun either because there's still a bit of poo left in my butthole. It's still there. It's showing up every time I wipe. It's not getting any cleaner.

No matter how many times I wipe, I can go through two rolls of toilet paper. Still poo. Still poo. But I got to carry on with my day. I do not have the time to spend three hours shitting and wiping. You know, when you go back to the bathroom, like an hour after you've taken a shit to re-wipe. Yes.

That's a common occurrence for me. See, this broke you a little bit. You're enjoying it. God, he's speaking. I've been talking about this phenomenon for my whole life. Finally to see somebody acknowledge it and bring it to the forefront. It's like a relief. Right.

And then I got that and that transition you into something else I think you'll like. Greetings. How many times do you poo? Once a week? Maybe two? Three times? Maybe four? Maybe you should be pooing some more.

I go a few times a day. Many years it has been this way, but everyone is different. So they say, ask yourself these questions. Okay. Aww. Yeah. It's a poo rap. It's a poo reggae guy.

Yeah. The poo raps. I like that. Yeah. See, you're in a better mood now. No, you're liking it. I like that. That was much better.

Every day. Two, three times a day. You're feeling better now? How many times have you been browning? How's your butthole? Yeah. Watch for wasps. Well...

Wasps. Have you been browning a lot? I've been browning... Yeah. Yeah. I mean, no, normally twice a day. Normally twice a day. Not the healthiest.

It's still sloppy. Hmm. It's not great. Sometimes I look out. What do you think that's... I don't know. I'm traveling a lot in different places every fucking day. You know?

Different. Different. Yeah. How about a dad boner? You want to see a dad boner? Would that show you up? I love a dad boner. Okay.

Here you go. Here we are on Joker's Jinx and we are about to launch! Oh, my God! Woohoo! Oh, yeah! Oh, man, I love this ride! Woo! Oh, my God!

Woo! Oh, these premiere launchers are always awesome. Here we go through the spaghetti bowl, guys. Woo! Oh! There's the Ring-a-Ding-a-Ding-a-Lingies! Oh! So happy.

Oh, happy. See? Now, you feel better? I love this ride. Yeah, I like this guy. When's the last time you went on a roller coaster like that? When was the last time you felt that happy about anything? Is there anything that gets you...

Well, when... When Bauhaus announces a new show? Yeah, and then I'm like, I get the tickets. Yeah, yeah. Seeing Bauhaus live does this for me. You know what? Being out on your CD is pretty exciting. I do enjoy that, but have you gone out?

Just with you, remember? That's one time. Before I broke my ankle. Yeah, one time. It's fun. That was fun. You got it? That made me feel alive inside.

We got to do it again. Look how pale I am. I've been indoors for five weeks. Well, you're almost done. I know. I'm really pasty, huh? No, you look great. What are you talking about?

Yeah. Yeah. All right, Jean. Well, I got sickle cell here. We're going to do a little more palm casting. And then, yeah, I will... I'll see you tomorrow. See you tomorrow, Jean.

I can't wait. I can't wait. I'm going to give you some pink eye. I love you. Love you, too. And I will see you... I'll see you tomorrow. I think maybe in the afternoon.

I'm not sure what time I come home. Okay. Text me what time you land, Jean. I will. Okay. I love you. Bye, guys. Bye.

Hey, Mommy. And we're happy to welcome back to the program the host of the Honeydew, which you can listen to every Monday. Watch every Tuesday over at Ryan Sickler's YouTube channel. It is the one and only the great Ryan Sickler. What's up there, Cho Mo? Hey, man. How's it going?

I'm good. What's up, Cho Mo? I'm good, man. I'm good. Fucking Cho Mo. First time I heard that term, I had to look it up. I was like, what's a Cho Mo? Because I kept hearing it.

I'm going to turn my headphones on. On all those prison shows. Yeah. Oh, Cho Mo. Yeah, that makes sense. Yeah, it's Cho Mo. All right. And it's like, it is the worst thing you can be called.

It's the worst thing you can be called. But also, there's this parallel I find, I was just had this conversation yesterday with this guy. Like, in our business, in post-production, there are people who can produce and edit. And they call them predators. That's true. And they'll say, I'm a predator. I'm like, why would you fucking go, no, listen, you take the long road on this one.

You produce and edit. Yes. You take the long road on that. But in LA, it's a very common thing. I'm a predator. You're like, well, but here you're like, well. And therefore, I want you to pay me more. You produce, edit, anisotlum, is that what you're trying to do, a hat trick?

I need overtime because I'm a predator. Give me some bonuses, man. Yeah. I just actually, this guy must be getting bullied by it. I don't know. This is a chomo or what, but I saw this was, but I haven't seen it. I'm not getting off social media. So quit telling me that.

You're making me mad. Stop telling me to get off social media. Quit calling me a chomo. I'm going to get you. I'll find you. That's what a chomo would say. You're not going to make my life miserable. Stop doing this to me.

Stop doing this to me. Hitting his own camera. I'm not a chomo. Yeah. You can't, that's not going to lead to anything productive. Quit calling me a chomo. What an introduction, I tell you, I'm always having to be back here while I make that. That's how it kicks off.

It kicks off. They called me a chomaless. Man, I got dressed up for this. I could have looked like anything to be called a chomo. What? They called me a chomo. Brush my hair and put on a nice hoodie. Quit calling me a chomo.

Brush my hair and put on a nice hoodie. Good to be back. Good to be back. I'm sorry for your misfortune, Christine, I am, but I do appreciate you all letting me come back and sit in the seat and co-host with you here. Oh yeah, what do you say about that? Or be a guest or whatever. What do you say?

Hey, Christine. I got to tell you, those glasses make your eyes pop, Christine. You look great. You do look great. Always changing your shirts out and shit. Keep it up stylish. You look good. You never wear the same shirt twice.

Ever. That's really cool. You look good. Yeah. Hair is on point. Got that Jennifer Aniston cut right there. You look good, Christine. Yeah, you look good.

Let me put my tongue in your head. We're going to use your booty. Let me put my tongue in your ass. It's the same way out of the Christina doll. Oh, fuck. Oh, man. I needed this. I ain't going to lie.

I had an argument this morning with an entire construction crew, bro. You did? You know the crew behind me that's building that condo unit? It's fucking, I didn't realize it was a dozen of them up there. I thought I was just yelling at two or three of them. And I heard over here and I was like, oh, shit. There's a gang of them over here. They got nail guns and shit.

How close are they to you when you're yelling this? They're like, they're, they're like 20 yards behind us and they block our drive. I've been taking Stella to camp and school and they always get me late. Now don't say shit. I patiently wait, but this time we're Evan and I are trying to leave. This guy's got this fucking forklift up here and he's telling us it's going to be two minutes and we wait. And then next thing you know, it's 15 fucking minutes. We're like, the fuck's going on?

So we both get out and start yelling. And this dude is one dude and it's like little, you know, those popular, uh, straw summer hats. Yes. Guys like the wear. Especially the guys that are working outdoors a lot. Yeah, those guys. And he's on the roof of the fucking thing and he's just looking down at me the whole time staring. Cause it finally after yelling, I'm like, no man, you don't get to block the fucking driveway.

Yeah. That's when I hear his back up over. I was like, fuck, didn't look, didn't look back there. You know, and they're like, just a ton of guy, just move the fucking thing. Just move it. Let him get out. But the dude keeps mad dog and just staring down straight at me. So I fucking through the car door open and I look at him and he goes, we're doing it.

And I go, yeah, you are doing it and you're fucking staring at me. He's like, what are you doing? I go, I'm staring at you like you're staring at me motherfucker. And he spit and I spit and I just kept stare or stared at him, stared at him. Yeah. Damn. And then coming here, they started the thing up again and I'm trying to drive out and the dude is halfway out and he just makes eye cut.

They got a whole part of fence, you know, fence, actual fucking fence laying in the driveway and I have to drive over. We've already had two fucking flat tires, neighbors flat tires. So I just, I just one of those stare downs. Heart racing? No. I welcome that and I pull up and he just stares at me. So I stopped and I just stared and I stared until he looked away.

And you, you welcome that. Yeah. That today I did that. I don't always. If it was always, that's definitely a trade of psychopathy. No, I don't pull up next to people, stop. I dare you to look at me. That's what we're going to look at.

Super aggressive. This guy was yelling and being a dick. So today he looked at me and I was like, you want to give me something? I'll give you something. And I pull out and I see my neighbor and I'm pointing to the guy at the top again. He starts looking. So I just start pointing up to him. I'm just going, this motherfucker right here.

This motherfucker. So I came here. Yeah. Fire it up. And you all hit me up with the chomo. A little bit of tongue in your ass. I feel good. God damn.

Yes, that makes me relax. Well, this will make you feel good too. Okay. I just want to let all y'all know out there, watch for Waspus. Because I've seen you and you look like me. Hey, I don't think the wasp is the only reason you look like that. Make sure you drink water. Have a good one.

The wasps. Wasps. Watch for wasps. Who the fuck says that? It's wasps, dude. Everybody knows that. Literally never met anybody who didn't say wasps. Wasps.

Are you allergic to bees or anything like that? No, I've been stung by them and I've been stung by wasps. I've been teaching my daughter about them because she's been hit by the honey bees. Yeah. But her brother got a wasps. Really? Yeah, got them good. And I was like, man.

They're mother fuckers, man. They are. Growing up, we had mud wasps. Did you get those on the East Coast? They build like a little tunnel of mud on the side of your house and they just fly in those motherfuckers. They're beasts. We had the yellow jackets.

Yellow jackets, yeah. Hornets. Fuck, man. And I remember one time. Some of those will make like cause like crazy reactions, man. Fuck yeah. One time when my mom, you know, you're still her favorite comedian. That's awesome.

Back when she was, she's going to love hearing this. Back when she was cheating on my dad, she would take us to this old dude's house and make us play outside. And one day, my brothers and I, as the three of us were in this little stream and we're picking up rocks trying to get, we called them crayfish back then before I learned crawfish. But we called them crayfish up there. So we're crayfishing, crawfishing. And there's this tree that had been struck by lightning and it's cracked and it's now

in an A shape and it's over the little stream. Yeah. So we walk under it and we just hear. And we're like, fuck. My brother got hit like 20 sometimes. I was in the teens. My little brothers in the double digits. They fucked.

It was one of those big ass, you know what I'm talking about? That, that, that like paper mache cone or whatever that fuck that thing is. Oh yeah. Yeah. I walked up one time to our house in Florida and there was a wasp. This is a nest. I can't even say wasps. Wasps.

Wasps. Is that what he says? I can't even, I can't even mimic it. It's so dumb. Wasps. Wasps. Wasps. Wasps.

There were, there were wasps. Wasps there and man, I got stung like six, seven times in the arm and I was pulling them out. Oh yeah. Stay in your arm. Yeah. Pull them out. They're aggressive.

They're, they're actually, they're predators. Yeah. They can produce and edit. Predator bees. Yeah. They produce, edit and salt people. Yeah. Pretty cool.

Yeah. Great bee. Great bee man. So you're saying cause I was telling you that Ellis is that kid that just walks up and grabs fucking frogs and shit. Yeah. He brought one in the house. It's like his pet now.

Yeah. And I remember as a kid, there was always that one kid and I'm like, that's my kid now? Like, but you said that, that was your brother Derrick. That's my brother Derrick. Yeah. No doubt. Yeah.

And I remember when I was talking about frogs, I was salamanders, lightning bugs, worm, whatever. I didn't give a fuck about any of that, but lizards. We always had chameleons or iguanas, but my brother was in the snakes. That was the one that he didn't, didn't fear at all. That's crazy. People don't fear at all. And I didn't care. I've seen that.

People just grab them. You're like, oh my God. There's a video of a guy in the US military that just fucking in front of everyone grabs a cobra. Like real slow goes up and snatches and I'm like, no, nope. But the reason, I don't think, like I remember when that weird reptile guy would come to elementary school. Do you remember that?

Yeah. That just weird dude drove in a van with like a van full of reptiles. Yeah. He had reptiles and then he also had like a rabbit or something, a turtle, a cockatoo and a guana. Like this dude just rolling around. And my brother was into it. I wouldn't mind walking by and touching a snake, but he would catch these wild little

black snakes in our yard and then he would put them in a aquarium or terrarium and keep them in the house and he'd get them out and let them wrap around the arm and everything. We go get baby mice and feed them. And I loved watching. You know, I liked being there. I didn't like handling or any of that shit. So this one time, like my brother buys this little baby mouse and it kills it, but it doesn't eat it.

And he's like, well, I'm not wasting my grass cutting money. So he tied a piece of fish and straight to the tail and starts dancing it and it bites it and it eats it. And then my brother goes to reach in the cage and the snake bites him and my eyes are like your eyes. I'm like, oh my God. It just bit you. And he, he doesn't look at the bite.

I will not. This is burned in my memory. He doesn't even look at his hand. He just looks at the snake and he's rubbing his hands like, yeah, it did. And I was like, that's crazy motherfucker right here. Nope. I knew at that moment shit was not good with him and animals. And then you're just like, we're not the same either.

No, we're not. We are not cut from the back. How did we come out of the same post? Oh, you know what I mean? You are not the same. No way. So like, I don't know, a couple months later, it's my turn to cut the grass. You got to alternate.

But cutting the grass was the greatest because we had a snapper riding mower and that was early driving. You know what I mean? That was the best. You didn't get a mower. You were doing wheelies. I wanted to do it. Yeah, exactly.

Exactly. So, you know, I'm in like, I don't know, 10th grade, it's summer. I've got my shirt off. We've got a square backyard. I'm going around and about three, four houses up. I can see backyards the whole way. Our buddy Jeff Wagner lives there and I see my brother and him taking a broom and they're standing way back and they're whipping this pine tree.

I'm like, there's definitely, and they got a trash can. I'm like, there's definitely a snake in there and they're trying to get in the trash can. I don't see him again. We have hour later, they walk out on our deck, which is like right up here and I'm going under it. I've got the old school headphones and cassette going, listen to Metallica or something and my brother's holding this like six foot fucking black snake and I'm like, don't do it, Dick. Don't fucking do it.

And he's just standing there and then I go and I go back to cutting a few minutes later. I come up under the deck again, Tom. I felt this motherfucking thing slap across the back of my neck. It hit me and I look over and there's a snake face right here. I said, I grabbed it by the neck. It's the only time I've ever grabbed a snake by the neck. I threw it on the fucking ground and then I put that goddamn blade down. He's like, don't do it, Dick.

And he's running around. I ran over that motherfucking snake, cut it into 100 pieces, then took the bag catcher off and dumped it out in the yard. I go, there's your fucking snake. He's like, you're a fucking dick. He loved it. One time he had one of my he had one and it got loose in the house and no one knew where the fuck was and it was loose for a week.

Right. I'm not even kidding. We had a deep freeze where we would keep like, you know, frozen stick deer. We kept our crab baits, all that shit in there. And one day this fucking maintenance guy comes in and you hear a grow man. We're all we're upstairs playing video games. I go, oh, my brother. I mean, for you, he goes, my snake.

And he ran down and got it. It was his fucking snake. Dude, one time this I'm telling you, my brother's sick. We take my my mom takes my little brother to the pediatrician. OK. And she tells me and my brother, don't fucking come in. You two sit out here in the car. So I'm sitting out in the car with him with Derek. Yeah.

And he reaches in his little like hoodie pocket and pulls out a fucking it's like a little garter snake. And I'm like, what the fuck? Where'd you fucking? We've been in the car for 20 minutes. Where'd you get? He's like, it was in a bush out front. I mean, you just grabbed it on the way into the car to the doctor.

I'm like, dude, you're fucked up. That's a whole segment of the population. There's there's there's a percentage of guys that are totally into that. Have I never told you his woodpecker story? Sure, you've got your woodpecker story. Yeah, he's got. He shot this fucking woodpecker with a BB gun, but it was a little woodpecker. It wasn't in Danger Species, but it's a little woodpecker out in our backyard.

OK. Yeah. And we go down. He's like, I think I got it. I'm like, I don't think you got that fucking thing. So we walk down as a slow woodpecker laying there, and it's cute, too. I'm not even like it's cute. I'm like, oh, you got that fucking woodpecker. And my brother's like, I got it.

And he picks it up and that woodpecker shook its head like that. I said, look, I got it in the fucking lid, his hand. Oh, that's what I got. My brother threw it fucking down. He shot it and then he tied a string around it and hung it in a tree to send a message to all the other woodpeckers in the woods, I guess. And we went down the next morning to get it. There were fox prints all under that fox.

To this day, there's some fox out there. It's like, I'm telling you, it was hanging in a tree. Like, no, I don't know if I believe that. They do that, man. The other fox was like, no, he's bummed. He killed himself. Hanging in the woods, hanging in a tree by a string. OK.

Committed suicide. Dude, yeah, the kid that's cool with the reptiles is different. And that's my son. He's cool with all of them. I mean, he doesn't he doesn't get he loves snakes. He's always like, I'm scared. Oh, I read him snake books. He watched a snake bit.

He also, for a while now, he's like, I watched a snake bit. First of all, he calls me Tom. I don't know if you know that. No. What's up, Tom? Yeah, Tom, he's like, good morning, Tom. I'm like, I'm your fucking dad. He's like, all right, Tom.

But he's like, hey, Tom, I want to watch a snake video. And I thought at first that he wanted to watch just like, you know, the video of a snake moving in the bush. Sure, on the sand. He wants to watch it hunt and eat. Like what? Like goats into the hills. Anything.

He's like, he's like, he's like, I was when it kills the pig and it's like strangling animals and you know, eating it. He's like, he's like, he's like, let's watch that again. I'm like, you want to see that again when that rabbit like goes. He's like, yeah, let's watch that again. Rewind it. Rewind that. Let me see that again.

Favorite shit to watch. Yeah, you gotta watch out for his. Yeah, I know he's going to be a problem. Um, speaking of construction, I tried to watch this earlier and I didn't get through it, but there's a guy, this is in, in, uh, I think in London, maybe somewhere in, in Britain. And, uh, he's fighting with construction workers. So it's, it's, yeah, yeah, yeah, and I, I didn't get through it.

So here it is. All right. The building, a large building here. Here you can see the central foundations, the emergency staircase. He just likes this shit. Concrete. Always nice to see. Hello, mate.

How are you? I'm just getting a shot from my YouTube channel of the construction. Why? Why make it quick? Why are you telling me what to do? What do you mean? I'm not allowed to do it. In there, tell your friends what to do.

Don't tell me what to do. I'm not telling you. I said, it's the conclusion site. You haven't got the rights to be using your cameras. You can, you can be a criminal. I don't know who you are. Why are you calling me a criminal? Because you have got a camera recording.

Is it because I'm an Arab? You're calling me a criminal. Are you being racist? Really? I'm black. Either you're going to let me do what I'm doing or you're going to try and stop me. Or you're going to try and stop me. You're back off then.

Because you might be a criminal. I don't know who you are. That's it. I'm telling you now. My name is Charlie. I'm an Arab. I don't care. You might be anybody.

Charlie the Arab. I don't care. Charlie the Arab. I don't care. So I don't know you. You've got no idea what you are. You've got in the construction site. They've got tools here, power tools and everything.

You might be coming here tonight to steal. Who knows? I'm not a gypsy. I'm not going to steal the stuff, man. Thank God he's not racist. Anyway, shake my hand on video. Shake it. Don't leave me hanging.

You've missed that part already. Don't humiliate me even more, man. Come on. No, you've missed that part already. My name's Charlie. You know my name. You've missed that part already. You're David the Black man or something.

Come on. What if I... Oh, yeah. This is taking a turn. You know, it ain't how you start. It's how you finish, man. Shut up, you with the colorful hair. Shut up!

Shut... Anyway, thank you. Thank you, bye-bye, bye-bye, bye-bye. Let's deal with this guy. What's wrong with you? Yeah, let's run over here real quick. What's wrong with you, mate? What's it got? Do you even know what happened there?

I don't get a fuck. Let the guy work. Why are you siding with him and not me? Is it because I'm Arab and he's black? What? He just keeps throwing it in. Why have you got weird colored hair? Because I want to.

What's wrong with your natural hair, dude? Because... I want to have fun with my hair. It's all the way around there. Well, I want to have fun with construction guys. So what the fuck's your problem? He doesn't need to find a way. He's got a fucking job to do.

Did you think that big construction guy was in any worry that he needed some sort of weird, hyper-lefty, bloody, poison dart frog coloration poison boy to tell me to fuck off? Did I tell you to fuck off? Yes. I never use those words.

You're playing words in my mouth now. Anyway... You're going falsetto because you're panicking. Can I ask you a question? Are you a homosexual? I'm a pansexual if you need to know. A pansexual? So you have sex with boys?

Huh? Do you have sex with boys? Sorry, men. Do you have sex with males? Yeah? Yeah, it shows. Bye. See ya.

Cool. Brilliant. This was really cool. Dude, this guy's channel is just filled with videos like this. Oh, just confrontation? But isn't it interesting that it feels like much more, I don't know, almost like pleasant confrontation? Like it doesn't feel like as aggressive as American confrontation.

Right, like he's no fat smoker or anything. No, no. But I wouldn't like this. No, I wouldn't like this. He's like asking questions and let me ask you something. Like his version of bullying is like, you answer this. Yeah.

No, it's like, it's a different version of bullying. He's not like, hey, fuck you, bitch. Like what you hear, you hear, you know? It's just like, I don't know, man. He's, he's cool. Sorry. But everyone seemed to be also, this guy wasn't even. No, he's not.

He's not heated. A lot of, you know, he's like, let him do his fucking job. Yeah, if you got that on the streets out here, they're fighting back. Oh, yeah. They're not just walking play. No, no one here is going to be like. Because I like the fuck guys.

Yeah. You know, they're like, don't mind your fucking business. Yeah, fuck guys. Yeah. You know, I eat ass. What was it? Let me put, I know a couple of chow mo's as well. Let me put my tongue in your head.

Yeah, there. Yeah. Now, I want your feet too. Call me a chow mo. All right. Fuck, that was great. Tom. Oh, I haven't shown you any of these.

We've been, we found some really good. What are they? Last few weeks, horrible. Oh, yeah, like these kind of things, like check this out. This dude, this dude's taking a piss. Oh, man. Look at this. He's going to take a piss on this.

On this like hole right here. No, no. He's definitely dead. He is definitely dead. He is dead. I thought so too. But there's no way he survived that. He's gone.

Where is he? Well, listen, that electricity went right through it. It started in his dick hole. It started in his dick hole. And then probably went out his asshole and every other fucking hole he had and shoved him back. It lifted him back. I'll tell you what, you'll never come that hard.

Orgasms, everything's ruined for this one. I don't know how you say he's alive. All right, do some research. They're just lying. They're alive. Right, Tolo? They're alive. For sure he's alive?

I want to see that guy straight into a hospital room. I want to see his dick in balls. I want to see his dick in balls. They look different now. Yeah, they definitely look different. I mean, that is us. And what are you doing? What are you hiding?

Right on a power line. We're not even hiding from anything there. Like, what are you? He came at you. You don't even see what I'm saying. It's like, pow. Back to the future. Ah, ninja.

Yeah, he might be in 1986 right now. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Bae, bae, bae, bae. Come on. Come on. Ah! Ahh!

Ah! Ah! Ah! Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. No, no, I'm not OK.

Ha, ha, she said, are you OK? Hey, that lady. Oh, an ambulance. What the fuck is wrong with you? Oh. There's hitter in the front yard. It's a fire in Paterson. Are you OK?

And look how they drove right up on the yard. Right across the sidewalk and everything. You know, yard. Yard? Ah! Help, help. I'm sorry. I definitely purposely hit you.

Ha, ha, ha, ha. Listen, that happened to us one time. What? We didn't hit a woman. Well, my mom did. I told you that story, right? My mom ran over again. No.

It wasn't her fault, though. Really? It really wasn't. I mean, it was because you're the driver, but it wasn't. But we were in her Fort Escort. It was this beige Fort Escort. It's her girlfriend, me, that lady's son, my twin brother, her youngest and our youngest little brother.

Packed, packed. Just like a station wagon, old school. It's all at Fort Escort, regular. Oh, Escort, OK. And we're going hand over Pennsylvania because that's where the outlets were back in the day and we're driving through and we're going west. And this little boy comes out of the laundry mat. His mom sends him over to get like cigarettes and her lottery tickets or whatever.

And he looks west. He looks at the direction we're heading and never swivels his head toward us. My mom ran his ass over. He stepped out in the street and he went, I'm tired, really. And we're looking out the back. You just hit that kid. He's crawling back to the sidewalk.

Yeah, the police came around. His mom started yelling at him because she saw all of it. She's like, you did not cross the street properly. Everyone's all shook up. Man, we hit a kid. Holy shit. But in high school, Eric, we hung out with Virginia. Had to go to that meeting that morning.

He hung out with us in Richmond and had some super important meeting. And I slept in bed with him to wake him up. That's how, what kind of friend I am. And I was like, get up, dude, you got to go to your meeting. Okay, man. And then at like 10 o'clock, I'm coming out to meet you. And this motherfucker's asleep in a chair and like at the front door of my room. He never made it out.

He was tying his shoes. But that dude, he wanted to see if his girlfriend, who he's married to, still was cheating on him back in the day because she was babysitting. And it was raining. He had a Caprice Classic station wagon. And he's driving. There's three up front, three in the back, and two in all the way. There's eight of us.

And he's like, let's go turf some yards on the way. Did you ever do that shit? Just pulling into somebody's grass and just fucking all out. No, no. We called it turfing. Turfing. Yeah, we used to turf. So he's like, let's go turf some yards on the way.

And it just started raining. So the road's extra slick. And we're driving. Just the neighborhood like that. See, there's no curves where you just pull in your yard. Yeah, you're just fucking it up. That's so stupid. But he starts the head for this yard and I'm behind him.

Okay, I'm in the seat behind the driver's seat and I'm thinking, thinking, man, we're fucking, we're barreling in it. We go, fuck this yard up. And then I realize we're sliding hydroplating off the road. And this house is on a bend and it's been hit by cars that have slid off the road. So they have this monster boulder that sort of slows you down. And we are humming now. And we can't stop.

We hit the fucking boulder. We go over top. It punctures the transmission pan and I can't get out. And he's like, he's like, he's trying to get out of there. But we're stuck and we can't go anywhere. We're all fucked. And this lady comes out the front door and she's like, I know, I see you motherfucker.

I'm calling the police as she calls the police and we're trying to get out. I can't get out because the rocks against my door now. So we all barrel out. And I'm like, it's good thing you didn't leave, bro. License plate fell off the car. It's in the grass. I'm like, look, we just got to suck this up. Just say you lost control.

She comes out and she's like, the police are on their way and he's like, ma'am, I'm sorry. I lost control. She goes, yeah, who's that? She goes, I'm Mrs. Guilford. She played with my son in Little League Baseball. He goes, it is. She goes, God damn it.

She calls the police back, cancels it. And then he just had to go over there and like fix their whole fucking yard. Wow. Yeah, he ended up knowing. She recognized it. Holy shit. Yeah, we did that. His meeting is the thing is one of my favorite things of that whole tour.

He had to go. I was like, Eric, you have to be at that meeting at 7am. You can't miss that fucking meeting. Because she left us telling all of us that. He's got to go to that meeting. I was like, I got a king size bed. I'm going to lay in bed with him and wake him up. And I did.

And he got up. He got up and so did I a few hours later and shower, got ready to go meet you. And I was about to walk out of the door. I'm like, what the fuck are you doing here? He's like, huh? I go, you never, what happened? He's like, oh, I passed out. And he's like, yeah, I missed it.

It's high in his shoes. That's a wrap on that. That's a wrap on looking left and right for the rest of your life. Play that one again, dude. Play that one again. He's like, hey, take this. Oh, man, a lot. Jesus Christ.

First of all, it's a narrow fucking. Why would you even try that in that narrow thing? That's the worst place you can do that. It's the worst place to do that. He's like a flip. You want to see some shit? Watch this shit. Where do you think he was going to flip up and come down? I think he thought he was going to do a full fucking flip.

Oh, to the other side. I don't think it's so small. Look at that. You ready? All right, back to shit. Dad just ruined the vacation. That's it, right? That vacation's over. Dad's in the hospital.

Oh, shit. One of those neck braces, too, that comes down right here. You know what I mean? Hey, man. See this? No. Look at her leg. They lived. They lived both.

There's people in there. Play that again. I always see this lady here. Yeah, this is in Russia, but they both lived. I have fears about shit like that. Oh, yeah. When we did that, when we were in this Vegas festival a few years ago, they had a really nice hotel and everything for us. I think it was like a real-world house or something.

It was badass. But I had this little balcony on it, and there were like eight people out on it, and it's way up, and I stepped out there, and I went right back in. I was like, guys, I just feel like this thing could just go poop, and that's it. Yep, it definitely can.

People are like, look at the view. I'm like, I'll do it from behind his glass. This one might be my favorite one right here. No. No! Right, that's both of these. Both of these? That's a double buckle right there.

His hips are fucked, too. Everything. Oh, man. Listen, bones didn't come out. Let me see that again. I texted that video to my surgeon. That's it. He goes, oh, God. What are you gonna need? He goes all the terrible things.

Everything. He's gonna need a new body. Oh, man. He jumps from the roof in rain boots. He's wearing fucking rain boots. What is he dressed as? Like a crow? I don't know, man. You know that he told him, just roll camera, check this shit out. Wait till I get up there.

Wait till I get up there. Check this out. I've done it before. Ready? Oh, God, his head touched the ground. Oh, man. They're laughing. They're laughing. Oh.

Look. He's done, dude. He's done. He don't even hear a laugh. There's just some ringing going on. Check out this motherfucker. Dude, I can't. Just slow down real slow.

Oh! He's drowning right now. I'll tell you what, if that's shit water, I'll be like, bro, you're done, man. I'm not jumping in there and dying. He slowed down to jump. No, he did. You can't stutter. Like, run, run.

Oh, man, you gotta keep going, bro. Oh! Oh, God. You like pro wrestling, man? Yeah. There's some amateur shit you can see. There is. So fucking amazing.

Oh, he did. This guy rolls off like you got him. You gotta keep it going. Hey, man, I'm like, yes, he had this. How far is that? Dude, that's, well, I thought that was a basketball. That's at least 12, 15 feet up on the wall. Yeah.

And then pushed out. Way fucking, I don't know. That's another 30 feet off that wall. Maybe more, this motherfucker. These people. That's someone's dream right there. Yeah, I'm chasing it. How come you don't do it anymore?

Yeah, well. I missed the jump one time. Overshot. Shattered my elbow and my shoulder and my collar bone. Oh, fuck. It's almost the same position you were in, look. Almost. He had an arm bent backwards.

I know. He ain't ready for that basketball though. Stick to wrestling, bro. You ain't ready for balling. Guess who ain't calling? National wrestling. Oh, fuck. Goddamn, that made me laugh.

Can we talk about how I embarrassed myself at your party? That was so, it wasn't my party. We went to a party together. Yeah, you invited me. Yeah, and we went to a party and at one point I was asked to open a bottle of wine.

It was a really kick-ass party. It was fun, it was cool. We were like, come out, we haven't hung out in a while without comedy. I started to think about it. Probably just coming over to your house is one of our last times. So we go and there's like, it's a group of people. I only know a couple of them, but everyone there is really nice.

It's this backyard party, right? And they're showing King of Kong. Yeah, it's a movie. Outside and there's like, it's cool. Food. It's like posters painted of it, right? Yeah, we meet out front, we talk for a little bit. I was going to this party.

And we hang out, we're having a good time. And like, yeah, the movie started. Everyone's, people are watching. And people get up, you know, get food and stuff. I go over the table one time and, you know, people host, like, says, oh, you open this bottle of wine. And I go, okay.

So I go to open the bottle of wine and it's kind of a rickety, you know, wine opener, but I feel like I got it and I pull it, push those two arms down on the outside and pull up. And I just pulled half of it out, half the cork, a tour.

And I was like, ah, fuck. So now I'm like, what do I do? And then I go, well, I guess the only thing you do is push the cork in, right? Because there's no way to, I try to remove it. It's the only way to, like, salvage any of it. Now what you're supposed to do is then pour that wine

into another, you know, bottle or something to hold it, but with, like, a net apparatus to filter everything. But I'm not doing all that at a party. So I just... A fancy party. This house was bomb. It was nice. Yeah, it was cool.

Like, these people have the kind of money where I was like, how'd you find this house? Like, oh, we were building one a mansion down there and we took a walk by and thought, we like this one too. Yeah. Like, what's this property over here? She goes, oh, it's just a house in a big yard. We don't know what to do with it. I'm like, can I run it? Can I run it? Like, what do you mean?

I know what to do with it. Those people right there that are at the party, we own where they live too. Yeah. They live over there. And they were like, what? Six Jeopardy winners? Yeah. Someone that had won millions of dollars. It was crazy. It was cool. High end. So anyways, I jam the rest of the cork into the bottle.

We're there. And then I pour, you know, I pour a glass. And then I'm like, right. You want a glass of wine? He's like, yeah. So it's an orphan. Give him a glass of wine. And then I see him later. He's like

And then the best is that you think that it's just fancy wine. I thought it was rich people's shit. I thought, you know what? That's the way. Tom's giving me wine with cork in it. You know, this is fancy shit. And look,

you know me, I try to keep a small footprint. Like, when you said that you wanted to, I could go on tour with you. I was like, let me get TSA precheck. Let me get clear. I just want to be there. I want to be. I don't want to be disruptive. I want to blend into everything. So I'm trying to be like,

you know, we're at this fancy shit. I'm thinking like, I'm like, what the fuck is it? And but but I would have known if my tastes are on my teeth. I'm chewing it a little bit like this is fermented berries. I thought it was fermented like honeydew or fruit or stuff. But I'm good. I'm biting it

a little bit. But I can't take it. I'm like, but I'm also right next to the food table fresh off a pandemic and I'm just going . So later we're leaving and I'm like, hey, man, what the fuck was in that wine and

you're eat. I was like, oh, man, I'm I put the cork in and I'm like, God damn it. I'm over there fucking spit. You're thinking then this is what the elite I really thought it was some rich people should I never had it before. It's just cork.

That's humiliating. I really thought it was some fancy shit. It's cork. I've had plenty of cork. I ruined that bottle of wine. I fucked that wine up. It was a good bottle. There are people probably all

around that party. This fancy shit's good. It's good. I think I got a fresh fruit in there. You ever get one of those seeds locked right in your tooth?

Huh? That's why it's fucking good. Where you get this wine, man? It's a sangria. Is that fruit? What kind of fruit did you all have in that wine earlier? What the fuck are you talking about?

I didn't have any fruit. No fruit, bro. Oh, fuck. Goddamn. Oh, that's so funny. So funny. This dude, I haven't seen this, but apparently

there's a flat earther who has a pretty good pretty good take on it, you know, on why we should believe. Is that what I'm looking at? Is that what he does? So I wanted to show this globe in its theory

that it goes around the sun. We're going to use the light here in my living room as the sun. Okay. So here's North Pole. So far we're following. And we're spinning 365 times before we go around the sun once.

Okay. And meanwhile, as you can see, the North Pole, that's supposed to go. That's supposed to change every time and go around over here. And if so, how come the North Star is the same position every night?

So far, it's really good. I don't know. I got lost right after the sun. The 365, I'm like, uh-huh. Right when he took this literal, turn here is when he lost me. And we're spinning

going around the sun. And this point here is supposed to be onto the Polaris, wherever that is. Where's that at? Does it flip-flop like this? No. Of course not. It says right here on the bottom

of the globe, the globes are not meant for educational purposes, but only for decorative purposes. Most people are taught from the globe. That's why everybody believes it. I mean, are you not convinced?

Now I am. Now I am, yeah. Once it said, I never knew there was a sticker that said globes weren't for educational purposes. Once I saw that, I shattered the whole conspiracy. My whole world just changed right now.

Yeah. I felt the same thing. What if it's not flat? I mean round, though. What if it's also not flat? What if it's like fucking triangle? I mean, it'd be cool. Everybody would fall. I know somebody who believes that. And I go, what about...

Believes the flat earth? Yeah. And it's definitely not round. And I'm like, what about all the NASA images? He's like, you believe that shit? I'm like, what? I mean, they're constantly sending photos. They've had photo shops since the 60s. He's like, man, it's all bullshit. So NASA, he's like, that's all bullshit.

All the photos, all fucking bull. All the fuck with you. Pretty cool, man. Tire space program full of bullshit. Just to... What's the benefit of me believing? You know what I mean? What is the conspiracy? Now that I believe it's

round, then what? Exactly. You're fucking idiot. Yes, that's what I'm saying. Now what? Now what? That's it, man. And then, oh, my favorite one for... I've had somebody go, how come you don't see the

fucking... I look out. I don't see no round. Yeah, yeah. Straight, flat. Yeah. That's good. Yeah, that's realistic. That's cool, man. You can't figure that out. This is also real.

Hey guys, I'm finally Korean. I've transitioned. I'm so, so happy. I've completed my look. I'm finally Korean, guys. I have the eyes. I just had a brow lift as well. I'm so happy. Finally, I've been trapped in the wrong body for eight years.

And that's the worst feeling in the world when you're trapped and you don't feel like you can be yourself. But finally, I'm Korean. I can be myself. And I'm so, so happy. Look, you know me, dude. I support everybody's wishes here, but I gotta say this. Yeah.

You're still in that body. You did it. All you did was change the way the body looks. You're still trapped. If the problem was being trapped in that body. You're still there. You're still in it. You're just Korean. And you're also definitely not Korean now.

You're not even close to Korean though. I wonder if... I don't know. This is... Is there a before of this person? I don't think we have a before. Is that good surgery? I don't think they look Korean.

I'm saying... Who's the doctor who did this? Guys, I'm finally... I'm finally Korean. There was a countdown to it. I couldn't wait to see the rule. If I had a friend that was like, What is Korean?

The first thing you should do is go to Korea. Here we go. They're white. They just had a regular kind of white appearance. Traditional white features. On the outside.

On the inside, you're always Korean. I get it. I wish Bobby Lee was here right now. We could ask him if he accepts him as a Korean now. I don't know, this guy might be more Korean than Bobby Lee. Here's the thing I love about this too. The fact, the ignorance...

How self-satisfied he is? He's like, I did it. The ignorance about how racist this actually is that you think having eye surgery is all it takes to be Korean. That's it. That's all you think it is. You're like an Asian person

having round eye surgery. I'm white. You just have round eyes. That's like me right now going, I'm Mexican. I just blinked and woke up and identified as Mexican. That's all you gotta do, man. Do you know who Adriana Chechek is?

She's an adult film star. I'm doing a DP on Friday. A DP on Saturday before my dunk tank. So I'm going to get home at 2. I have a heart out by 2 because I didn't want to fuck up the dunk tank and carnival thing I'm doing for TWISH. So DP Friday, DP Saturday,

Sunday, DP, and Monday, boy girl, anal scene. I'm like, oh my god, this is going to be a funness weekend. At least I'll be stretched out, so that's good. She's doing a DP Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and then an anal scene Monday. I had seven dicks and a pussy.

I did the math when I was listening to it. That's a lot of fucking... Two at once. That's what I'm saying. Those holes are going to be stretched out, whether you like it or not. Did you see your appeared on YMH podcast? DOOMERS! Yes! Between him and Bert,

Tom Segura and Bert Kreisler, I'm just wondering if they want to get a DP going or if they want to hit me up for any double action. If both of those two men want to put their podcast where their dick is, then find me and they know where I am.

Because I've tried to try to reach out to Bert a few times, and nothing ever followed through. That's weird. Yeah, but apparently Bert and I have an open invite.

I mean, very open, brah. Very open. Yeah, I don't know about that. I approve of you guys. What about Christine? Just make... Keep your mouth open if you approve. Yeah, gasp if you approve.

It's pretty accurate. Seems like she got the thumbs up, bro. So you heard her call him... Bert Kreisler? Have you seen how many people have mispronounced his name? Yeah, he tells me. TBS?

No. TBS, which he hosts a show. Yeah, the show, yeah. Go Big Show! Thursday night on TBS Cody Rhodes, of course, Snoop Dogg, Jennifer Nettles, Rosario Dawson, and Bert Krishna. Dude, listen.

I saw Bert... I thought this was a joke. I thought this guy purposely fucked his name up as a ha ha. That's real. Like Harry Krishna. Yeah. And then on a separate...

a separate night on a different feed. They did this one. Snoop and Cody Rhodes, a part of Go Big Show. Set your DVRs now to watch Snoop, Rosario Dawson, Jennifer Nettles, Cody Rhodes, Bert Kersher.

Bert Kersher. 9, 8, 7, Central on TBS. Bruce Kreiser! Let me incorrectly correct you, man. I think you mean Bruce Kreiser. Yeah. We're paying this dude

on our network. We're paying. What's the stand-up's name again? Bert Kreisinger. You can look up. He's got a thing with Jim Jeffries. I'm going to be performing in Colorado on, I know this is September 8th,

at Red Rock. So you're welcome to come if you want to come and have a laugh. Me and Bert Kreisler. Unbelievable. Unbelievable. Brat. Bert. It looks like Bert.

But it's R right there. I don't know if it's R or silent. Bert Kreiser. I never heard of Bert Kreiser. He's standing here with his shirt off, so... Everybody. Brett. Brett.

Brett. Quit calling me a chomo. It was terrible to me because somebody called you that. It would be the worst. Oh, shit. Fuck, man. So... Are you road dogging it? Are you coming out on the road?

I've got a few dates coming up right now. September 16th to the 18th. I'll be in Phoenix. I'm headlining Brea. Like October 28th. More fall dates. So just go to RyanSickler.com. Everything will be posted there.

Yeah, we got to go do some dates together. I can't wait. We're doing what? Next year we're doing a California run. Midwest run with Ohio and West Virginia. That's where it starts. That's what's got me excited. Yeah, Charleston, West Virginia. I went to Lollapalooza.

That was the year Kurt Cobain was 94, I believe, the summer of 94. And Nirvana was supposed to headline and Kurt Cobain died and Smashing Pumpkin stepped in and I had tickets already. And that's the story where my brother gave the girl,

I was dating at the time, the joint lace with PCP and she just fucking... She missed the whole fucking... It was like a Tribe Call Quest Beastie Boys Parliament. He knew it had it? Yeah, and didn't tell her. And I smell it and I go, hey, what the fuck is that?

He's like, oh, we thought you knew. I'm like, knew what? It's dusted, man. And I'm like, you just gave her a joint with PCP? And she was like... She was a little thing, skinny. And then she starts panicking about what's going to happen to her.

And then it happens to her. So we just got a good spot. And she slept for like four or five hours. And I say she's little because when she woke up, this chick ate like a fucking hostage. She couldn't stop eating. And I told my brother and Shannon,

it was my brother and Shannon that did this to her. And they knew her. And I'm like, you're buying her all the food she wants. And I'll bet you she ate $200 with the festival food. She couldn't stop eating. And I was like, yeah. We know that dude who, he said he got wet. He got a PCP joint.

He was punching cars. Yeah, I'm telling you. He's like, fuck that. He's punching out with Charles from West Virginia, bro. I can't wait. That's like Memorial Day weekend, rolling through there. And yeah, I want to do any other dates you want. I'll pick them.

If I can, when I sit in therapy with you, we'll rehab. I'll sit down, we'll go through some... No, I'd love to, man. I'd love to. We're doing it. Yeah, I love that Dr. Drew has that... ...dust. But he said that, you know, he goes,

people on cocaine run from police and people on meth go towards them. This is crazy. I just watched... I don't know why it popped up in my feed, but it was a promo of him on my show. And he said the thing to about cocaine, they black out their windows also. Mm-hmm.

Like, it's all... He said it's always, if coke and meth, it's always a psychological just worry about the authorities. It always involves the authorities. He said people on cocaine will see a cop and jump out a window. If they're fucked up enough

and that people on meth will be like, those eight guys? And fucking run right towards them. Like, go right up to them. They want that smoke when they're on meth. I don't know why. People don't believe... It's on my album where I talked about it,

but that was my brother and a cousin smoked. I was like, let me watch it. And they had a joint dipped in PCP and they went out of their fucking minds. Oh, yeah, you told that story. That story's so great. So then after...

Only a couple weeks later, it's the West Virginia fucking Lollipalooza. So I'm now also realizing you guys are still smoking that shit. Like, don't make that a fucking habit. But, man, it wrecked them. But not her, I mean, not her, but not them. So they were cool with it?

No. Did you ever do that? I want to know what it does to somebody. I want. They really... My cousin thought he was upstairs and he was sitting on the fucking... What are you guys doing up here?

I mean, my brother thought I was... Yeah, he's like, what are you doing up here? I'm like, you... He literally... My brother hits it and goes to... He goes into me and right over to my brother. And I'm scared. I'm scared now that that...

He's on your fingers? Yeah, and it can get in my pores. Like, I don't want a part of PCP. And my brother hits it and it goes back to my cousin. My cousin says nothing and puts it out. And my brother doesn't complain or say, hey, fucking... Send it back, yeah.

And within, boom, like that, they change. You can see a change. And my brother starts panicking and he gets up. And he's laying down and my cousin says, I wouldn't go be alone with my thoughts. And I was like, oh my God, what is going on in your head right now?

And my brother walks a full circle in front of the chair. He's sitting in and he sits back down. And I go, what the fuck was that? And he looked at me and goes, what did you get up here? I said, you're not upstairs. You dumb motherfucker. And my cousin said...

I swear to God, this is a true story. My cousin said I never realized how much upstairs I'm like, man, we're not upstairs and you didn't even get up out of your fucking chair. Like, he at least walked a circle. You know what I mean? You don't get to teleport. What you guys doing here?

I was like, what do you have to get up here, man? I was like... We smoked this shit in Peru when I graduated from school, from college. I took one of my roommates down to Peru. And you've met Rodrigo and all those guys? Yeah.

You know damn well I met Rodrigo. Rodrigo almost got me killed in a fucking roulette table in Vegas that motherfucker. He almost got me. You left. He almost got me killed. When you told me what happened, I definitely thought you might be dead.

So... We go down to Peru and we're in college. We're used to like, let's get some weed. Looking back, it was so high risk of what we did. Being that we're in like a third world country and not knowing how it could go.

So... Me and my buddy that I brought down, we smoked weed all the time at the time. So I hit up Rodrigo and I go, hey man, we want to get some weed. He's like, all right. So we go to the university campus.

I don't know if it was University of Lima or what. He's like, this dude will hook us up. He goes, how much is it? So I figured we're just going to get a little sack. Dude hands me an ounce. For 20? I was like, what? Stashed it in the jacket

and then I'm like, holy shit man. That's $20? Dude... I don't know what's in this. But we smoke a joint and like... within minutes I'm up on their roof.

Their wife! My friend and I was like, you hear that shit man? And he was like, what? I was like, trains man. You hear the trains? And he was like, I don't hear trains. And I was like, you don't hear that? And I remember him being like, mm-mm. And then I was like, God damn I'm so cold and it wasn't cold. I was like,

I had to get like extra blankets and I was shaking. I know that high cold. And I kept talking about trains and he was like, I don't know what the fuck's going on with you. The next night... He got high but he didn't... The next night we smoke again

and I swear to God I feel like regular high and he goes, I hear those trains. No! It took over... There's no trains. There's no trains. But we were hearing shit and I was like, this is not weed.

Didn't hit me like weed and smell like weed. I felt like it was maybe like some dirt weed and they poured some fucking chemical on it. Yes. I would say the strangest

smoke I ever had. So when I worked at UPS, shout out to UPS Baltimore Hub, Primary One, Joy Avenue Yeah. I was tight with all the black supervisors and a lot of them went to black colleges up and they were down... They were from New York going to black colleges in Baltimore.

Like, God, what was the one that... one of them was I think Morehouse maybe it was Morehouse down in Atlanta. No, that's Atlanta. That is Atlanta. I can't remember. They're going to Howard. I did a show at Howard.

Did you do that with me? No. Howard's great university. But these guys all will go back up to New York on the bus on the weekends and then they'll come back on Monday to work and go to school and when they come back they're bringing this shit. They're telling me called chocolate tie.

I'm like, I want to try chocolate tie. The rappers on East Coast rapping about chocolate tie. Chocolate tie. Alright, we'll bring it back to you. I'm like, okay. And these guys, I'm like, you're riding the shit on a Greyhound? They're like, yeah, Greyhound. And now I know, you know.

I'm like, yeah, of course. So they bring it in to UPS. I mean, they're giving me drugs at work like this bag of weed. I go home and my brother's... back then I was just a weekend smoker. My brother was every day and it definitely tastes weird.

My brother was like, one hit and he hits it and he's like, that's all we need. I go, what do you think it is? He's like, I think that's opium. And I'm not sure what it was, but it was definitely dipped. And that bag, I kept smoking it, but it lasted me like three months,

you know what I mean? He just took a pinch of that. And even for me, I was like, couple of that, we're good. You've always been at the craziest tolerance I've seen. And your demeanor didn't even shift. No, it doesn't. In the second joint, too.

And you've been totally normal. I'll smoke, yeah. The problem is I can smoke like that. So it's the same way with drinking. My tolerance is, I feel sick before I'm drunk when I drink. You have super high tolerance for alcohol too? Yeah, especially if I have food in my stomach.

If I know I'm going to drink, I won't eat so I can get the fucking buzz. But I feel sick before I feel drunk. But weed, I could rip 10 joints a day. And I'll talk to you just like this. But you do feel high, right? I get a little bit of a buzz. I don't feel, I'll put it this way.

I don't feel the version of high that I would drunk if I had 10 drinks. You know what I'm saying? I'm still very much in control of myself. Man, me, I'm just like too hit that I'm like... But you do your edibles and that works for you better. Yeah, it does.

Which you have no... I took a 10 milligram weed mint this morning just to freshen my breath. You know George Perez? George Perez, he gave me a 1500 milligram edible. That exists. You can have that.

You're going to another planet. And that planet is in the ER. And see that, I also don't want to do that. You know what I mean? I know what I can handle and what I can function with. So yeah, weed is my... Yeah, man. Well, you got dates coming up

all at RyanSickler.com Yep, subscribe to my YouTube. Absolutely. The Patreon is... That community is growing and doing great. Stories are insane. I gotta tell you, I scroll through Instagram like everybody else all the time.

It's my favorite social media platform. Every time I go by your page you have these great highlights from Patreon and from the podcast. I fucking watch all of them. I appreciate it. There's such good stories and it's like real people telling real stories

and it's so captivating and engaging. I get sucked into it, man. It's really good. What you've built is really, really good. Dude, first of all, thank you so fucking much. You know that means the world to me. That's true. I mean it, man. You are so many things.

A mentor, a phenomenal businessman, one of the best and funniest comedians in this goddamn game. I would say that. It's called The Honey Do With Y'all and I just highlight the low-likes with regular people. They send their stories in. Incredible stories.

And I don't dog it. I don't do 20, 30 minutes. I do an hour, hour plus and these stories are incredible. Incredible. That's what gets me. I'm watching these clips, these little highlights. I'm like, holy shit. I had a guy talk about a drug deal where someone else got blown.

Their brains got blown onto his face. People found out that who they thought was their biological dad is their best friend's dad. It's insane. It's stories that you can't... You could try to make this up and you couldn't do it. I watched the one, I don't know, a week or so ago

about the guy who was like... And you're like, let's just stop hunting, man. People die every time you watch. At Ford Do With The Hunting Stand, his mom died. And he waited out in the woods two days for them to set everything up because he pushes things down and doesn't want to deal. He goes to the funeral, they take him out to drink

and he ends up getting into fist fight and he doesn't realize he's fighting a mobile police officer and they fucked him. He had to go to the funeral where Bruce is a shit all fresh out of jail. And then two years to the day he goes back hunting again, goes up in that tree stand for good luck

and his uncle dies on the hunting trip at the camp on the other side of the hill. I said, did you need to do tree stand? He said, I cut the tree down. I cut them all up. That's what I'm saying, man. I watch these little highlights. I'm like, man, this is amazing.

They're crazy. Thank you. And it's five bucks a month. I don't do tears or any of that. It's five bucks a month. You also get now the Honeydew and add free a day early at no additional cost. Everything's five bucks a month. And if you sign up for a year, you get over a month free.

There it is. Go ryancycler.com, thehoneydew.com and follow... It's all there. Follow him on Instagram, listen to his podcast, see him on the road. He's a great comic and we'll be doing stuff together. Thanks for coming, man.

Closing song is Point of Personal Privilege by Mr. Mobius. Quick point of personal privilege. Guys, he him. I'm one of the people who's very, very prone to sensory overload. We're all fresh and ready to go.

Thanks for joining us. My name is Thank you, comrade. If we want to defeat capitalism, we are going to need a party that will organize working people to fight for the demands that we want and to win socialism. I want to squeeze you, comrade. I want to squeeze you. I want to squeeze you. We're all fresh and ready to go.