Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - 621 - Kevin Christy - Your Mom's House with Christina P and Tom Segura

Episode Date: September 15, 2021

YMH LIVE is back baby! This September 22 at 8pm! Get your tickets at https://livestream.ymhstudios.com SPONSORS: - Go to https://stamps.com, click on the microphone at the top of the homepage and type in MOM to get a a 4-week trial PLUS free postage and a digital scale. - Go to https://saatva.com/theshit for $200 off your order - Go to https://brooklinen.com and use promo code house to get $20 off, with a minimum purchase of $100 - Save up to 65% off your subscription when you go to https://BABBEL.com/MOM. - Go to https://WHOOP.com and use code “Yourmom” at checkout to save yourself 15% off today. - Go to https://LiquidIV.com and enter code "MOM" for 25% off - To get your first $5,000 managed for FREE, for life, go to https://Wealthfront.com/YMH - Go to https://ForHims.com/mom and get your first visit absolutely free! Hey there! It's another episode of Your Mom's House and there is a ton of important news and events to cover! First on the docket is pee. How not to get it on you when you go. Can you push too hard? Afterward we'll dive into this hit new show that no one is talking about called Game of Thrones. Followed by nonbinary parent names after that. Could YOU be a zaza or a dama? And as always our senior TikTok culture correspondent Christina P has a fresh batch of clips for us to explore as we "get the freaky stuff out." Then Kevin Christy joins the fun and gives us the lowdown on working in Sacramento, why sports players and coaches are some of the weirdest folks out there, and his take on Steven Seagal's interesting martial arts skills. Then Tom takes Kevin down his favorite rabbit hole of pain with some fresh Horrible or Hilarious clips. It's all coming up so don't miss it!

YMH Live is back September 22nd from Austin, Texas. We are streaming worldwide. Go to livestream.ymhstudios.com and get your tickets now. Sometimes it's nice to hear another man tell a man you could be a processor. Like, hey, I don't know if you know this, but you have got the goods. You could be a hoe.

Get out there. Ho it up, dog. And with his looks, high paid. Yeah. Hey there, welcome to another episode of your mom's house where you'll learn so much about what's going on in the world and news and all the hard-hitting, important events. And we're going to break down what medicine you should be taking

and how to get stronger. With me as always is my co-host, Christine. All right, not saying as much. And joining us from Austin, Texas is Christina P. Hey, Christina. Oh, hi, Mommy. Hi, Jeans. Hi.

I'm here in Mom's Den and you're missing a huge rainstorm right now. I'm very upset about that. As you know, and as the audience knows, I am what is known as a storm dad and I get storm boners. So even hearing that there's a storm going on, I'm fully erect under this table. But I'm sad that I'm missing it.

I would like to say also. You got some good. You look really nice. Thank you. You dressed up. I dressed up for you guys because I saw myself on a few episodes ago where I just looked terrible. So I thought I should spruce it up.

And for the fans, I don't know if you've noticed, but Olga, my raccoon from Russia. Yes. Now has the official uniform of your mom's house on. Yeah. We hand custom hand custom sewed her an Adidas track suit. It's incredible raccoon size. It was really hard to do.

It took several hours, but I think it's worth it. Really representing your part of the world. So that's. Well, and the mommies. It's a cultural thing. It is. It is. It's really cool.

So you had quite the weekend. You did shows and you had to take multiple planes and you must be exhausted. Yeah, I I I wrapped up shows last night and then I slept for three hours and then I got on two planes and then I landed. Here's what I would do. How are you when we wrap? Lock those kids in their room and then go to bed.

I know, I think I will. I might I might do that. You know, you can do. I'm glad to see you and smack him as hard as you can in the head and they'll pass out and then you go to bed. I peed on myself before we started recording. That was fun. How did that happen?

Tell us that story. Well, it's weird because it's never happened before. I went to go pee and then I thought I was done and then I went to go pull up my my Chones and then there's still come. It was still coming out. So I got pee all over my Chonies. That happens. That happens happen to you.

I've had dribble. You know, I've had, you know, usually sometimes you can relax that muscle and you think it always happens when you think you're like, I'm going to rush. I think, you know, I want to go. You're going to get all this pee out and push all this. Yes. And then you drop your dick back into your pants and you got piss all over

your leg. That's probably what happened to you. Right. It is what happens to me. You'll like this, by the way. I told you this the other day, but I was putting the boys down. Yeah, we watched something. We read a book and then I sat on the chair in the room there and I have

Julian on my left and this on my right. And I go, Hey, boys, tell me about your day. Like, tell me what you did today. And Alice goes, I farted out of my ass. And I was like, that's my boy. That's a really nice story, man. That's my son. And he just looked at me like, what'd you do?

Farted out of my ass, dummy. Yeah. That's what he did today. Yeah. Yeah. Five years. And I don't think we, we don't talk to him like that. I don't think we talk to him like that.

That's his own thing. I was watching a video where the guy kept going, you got to be shitting me. And then Julian was next to me. He goes, shitting me, shitting me, shitting me. And I was like, all right, this is going to start coming out of his mouth. Glad school started. That'll be a fun first day of school. But I'll tell you, I'll tell you what, Tom.

Yeah. That I tell him, I tell the kids, Hey, you can't say that stuff till you're 16 and they go, why? And I'm going, you can't say that at school because you're just not allowed. It's against the rules. And they, they respected, I mean, no, they're pretty good. Can I just say before we start also, I want it was kind of a neat full circle thing. When I was in Atlanta, I was in the international terminal and I passed by

the taco place that I ate before we flew to Africa. And do you remember what happened on our flight to South Africa? Yes, we flew. It's a 16 hour flight from Atlanta to Johannesburg and we, Christina actually on her own decided to have tacos and then she sharded on the flight and had to throw her underwear away on that. Yeah, it's on the plane. But isn't that, that's right.

It was my first shark that I'd ever had in my life. It's a lovely story, but it's kind of full circle. Isn't it today as I was getting ready for this show? Did you think about getting it? See if you can start again. You can say that on the way to Columbus. Yeah, I want to challenge myself. But Tom, don't you think it's kind of weird?

No, no, I think you've already said full circle a few times and I get it. I get that I soiled my other panties today and then I had to go change those. It's like, wow, neat. God, God is real. Okay. Are you ready to start the show? God is good all the time. Is that what they say?

God is good all the time. Comedy works. Yes, it does. Comedy and prayer. Okay. You ready? Here we go. You're going to like this opening clip.

I know you're going to like it. Okay. I'm going to like the way I look. You are. Guarantee it. I'm looking for me. White girl with a fed as serious replies only. I think they know how to work in.

Bring anyone. Whoo. Welcome to your mom's house with Tom Segura. Oh, yes. Welcome to your mom's house. Wow. Wow.

This dude. I know that guy. I found him on TikTok. Yeah. Yeah. I think we all did. He's very cool. What do you mean we all did?

We've all been seen. You saw that? Yeah, I saw this guy. I saw him. He's real special. He's made the rounds. Yeah. I'm looking for me.

White girl. Yeah, what a fat ass. Yeah. And I know that I know that you liked his eyes. I know that you like that go in different directions. When I go this way. When I go that way. And then he thinks about what he's going to say.

He's like, she needs to know how to work it. Serious replies only. This guy has the fucking balls to put that message out there and be like, don't juggle around. Don't play with me. Don't play with my heart. And like what white girl with a fat ass is going to be like, absolutely.

Hold on. How do you reply to this guy? Well, and it's upsetting too because he can't even frame himself, right? Like at least he's got the lighting. The framing is absolutely abysmal. This is one of the worst. This is peak like tier one.

Your mom's house. Cool guy framing like this is the worst framing number one. I'm looking for me white. What are you doing? What a fat ass. Serious replies. Can't see his mouth. What else are you going to say?

I think they know how to work. They need to know how to work it. Yeah, I think they know how to work. You get the full treatment, sir. Now, I mean, I do and the thing is too is I think he would get more replies if we got to actually see his face. He could be really attractive and I wouldn't know. Yeah.

I mean, I don't have a fat ass, but I'd like to just have a I'd like to know more about him. Well, does he? He reminds me of a past super cool dude. Would you like to see who he reminds me of? Yeah, go through the rolodex in your mind. Well, I'm going cobertate. I'm like, I'm trying.

I don't think so. Okay. Here we go. Hi, I made this brief. My name is John Lai, you shipment. I'm looking for girls for pussy. I love to eat pussy. Yeah.

Awesome. He doesn't look like doesn't he look like a pussy kind of like his face is the way his mouth is shaped. He looks like a pussy. I don't know. I just I like he's very direct like the guy is and he also is like, hey, hit me up. You know, if you're in a fat guys, you're looking for some

action. You live in Missouri. Please call me at one five seven or text me at one six three up. He gives you a different number for texts. He's got a bat phone. He's got a private line. Hit me up on this one.

Text me on this one. Wild. Just wild shit, man. Hit me up. Hit me up. Hit me up, bro. These men, boy, if I had a fraction of their confidence. Here I am doubting myself.

Am I good enough? Will anybody love me? Not these guys. What a blessing in the skies, huh? It's nice to he just puts out what he likes and then, you know, what do you like? Pretty cool.

I like him. I like him. This I'll tell you this week. Yeah. Oh God. No woman is like, I don't know. Maybe some woman loves that. But I mean, when the guys broadcast that they love to eat

pussy. Yeah. Tell me why though, as a woman, why isn't that I mean, seriously, why is that not appealing? I'm serious. It's but here's the deal. Okay. Because I would do if I were out in the market right now.

I'd be like, I mean, I like to eat it. I don't know. What's the problem? Why is that bad? It's only bad depending on who's saying it. Like, okay, Ryan Gosling. He's like, I love you. You always refer to Ryan Gosling.

Text me. I got two different numbers, bro. Hit me up on the private. I mean, what about what about Tommy Bunch right in front of you? Luke Wilson. Oh, hi. I like to eat pussy.

Send me a text. You don't think that would work? Do you think because we're watching Game of Thrones, do you think they all ate pussy back? Oh, yeah, I think so. How smelly is their medieval pussies back then? Pretty, pretty bad. Can you imagine?

Let's go ahead and make it clear again. You are seeing this in September of 2021. We're going to go ahead and make it clear to all of you listening and watching. This is a YMH exclusive. YMH exclusive. Game of Thrones is a good show. They

released eight seasons just now at once and we started to watch it and you should check it out too. Well, every time you and I watch it, we're so impressed and we're like, no one ever mentioned this fucking show. The show's amazing. Yeah, it's a new show and it's good. And I think you're going to like it if you haven't seen it. So check it out.

I'm captivated by the incest, the violence, the nudity, the language, the deception, the rage, the fighting, the sex, the stinky genitals. It's fantastic. Well, nobody ever talked about the show. I feel like I discovered nobody told us to watch that show. I mean, but here's what I really like is that there was a lot of gratuitous teddy scenes and a lot of gratuitous female

nudie and now they're that's what I'm saying is that they I saw two hammers and the last couple of two or three episodes and I was like, okay, now I feel better. Like they're finally giving the female viewer something to right now. Yeah, there's there's a lot. I mean, also I want to make sure I remind you since you're back in Texas and I'm in California right now.

Just be sure. Be sure. Watch for wasps. Make sure you watch that. Okay. And also it's hot today. So make sure you drink water. I'm just looking out for you.

I love that guy. I've been thinking about that guy. Like I forgot about him for a minute and then I saw somebody post about him and I was like, oh, watch for wasps. Wasps. I mean, what planet is he on that? He thinks the word is pronounced wasps. You mean wasps?

Wasps. And that's a common word. Of course it is. Watch for Beezes. Beezes. Wasps. Wasps. Completely insane.

Nobody corrected him. See, you have to have friends that correct you and look out for you. I've said stupid shit throughout the years and you've corrected me. Well, yeah, like Sun Visor. Remember your leg is not a Sun Visor you foreigner. It's just visor.

Yeah, you can just chewing gum. It's not chewing gum. It's just gum. Yeah. I know the kind of thing, by the way, sometimes I get antsy when I have a clip in my folder. If I know you're going to love it. Like if I know.

Okay, okay, play. I know, I know. And I have topics I want to talk about with you that I think you're going to get. Oh, yeah. Well, we can say also, since we were, we discovered Game of Thrones for everybody. It's on the, it's on Home Box Office Max.

What was your favorite character on there right now? Who do you like most? Who do I like most? I mean, I like that the guy that was the king's hand, you know, he's kind of like the hero. Yeah, he's pretty rad. He's great. But there's so many great storylines.

Can I tell you who I'm starting to like more is Khaleesi's husband. You know, at first he was just like, you know, just raping her and stuff. And now like he's really showing, he's showing out, you know, showing some respect to Khaleesi. And I like that. He also gave that speech where he's like, I'm going to rape

these women and I'm going to fuck everybody out. That was cool. I did get kind of hard watching that. I'm not going to lie. That guy is living the dream. Very cool guy. We also speak in a show is that people talk about. We got into Love Island UK and we started watching season

one originally and it was the straight up dog pound. It was like just hear that. No, storm dad. It is like raging under. I'm sorry. I thought maybe you could hear it. I'm not. And I wish we were canceling this recording and just watching

the storm, but go ahead. Um, straight up dogs were on that show, like. Wait, Love Island UK. Yes. Australia. Yeah. It was UK dog. I was like, God, where's the one is the hot one going to come

out? It was just all it came out. So then you're like, you know, people really have been talking about season six. That's the season to go again. Mostly stray dogs. And then, you know, they were like, hey, that guy right there's a right rocket.

And they, they're fucking English was so goddamn hard to understand. Like they were the absolute bottom feeders of the UK that we had to put the fucking captions on. We put subtitling on for English. And even with that, and we were like, this is too mega started to fucking get through. So we ended up jumping out of it.

It was so dumb. Well, but we gave it a shot. Hold on. We. So first it was, we're both like, huh, what's happening? This seems interesting. I kind of want, and like every other word I could make out like, she's a rock.

Goa. And you're like, a goat. They go to Goa. He's a goa. Goa. Yeah. Or where's Goa is going? And I don't know.

And then the subtitles, we kind of hung in for another episode and then it got too mega. It was like, you're watching. You are completely retarded. It was so hard to get through. And it was so hard. The girls wear so much makeup, so much makeup and the extensions are horrible.

All the girls have really ratty, cheap. It's like, I don't want to get here. I've got to pick one of them. And I don't know if he's going to be so sweet, ma'am, isn't he? What? And then. Don't know what you're talking about. And then they're like, like, I like him fit like, like a lot.

And he's got muscles. I like, I don't know who's what. And he's like, no, no, no, no, no. I'm like, what the fuck? It's like all this cockney slang that I know. The same language that we speak? Different. Yeah, it really is.

So we can understand Game of Thrones. That's like, yeah, fancy British, you know? Sure. Yeah, it's the King's English. This this love Island shit is fucking retarded. It's fucking so hard. Well, because the whole show was like, one of us has to go home. I don't if I like him.

Does he like her? I don't know if I like him and I don't mean anything. Nobody cares. You don't care if no one gets kicked off, you know? Also, they also have like, they're so resilient about not getting chosen. Like no one's feelings got hurt, which would make you empathize more. Like they're like, oh, he ditched you've heard and the girls like, hmm. And the girls like, I don't want this guy.

He's like, I don't care. You know, like, yeah, so you don't even care. But you don't even care that you're not getting chosen. If you don't care, how can the viewer care? I know, Tom. And I we had such high hopes for Love Island UK. I guess we'll have to go to that fucking dumb shit Game of Thrones show. Keep watching that.

We got seven seasons left. Can't believe they dropped them all at once. That's wild. I know. So cool. Okay. Now I'm ready to show you something that I think is going to really tickle your tootsies. Okay.

Okay. I'm ready. I'm ready. Instead of using the typical mom and dad parent titles, there's actually gender neutral and non-binary parent titles that exist. It can be hard for parents within the LGBTQIA plus community to find a word that they feel comfortable being addressed as by their children. So here are some examples.

Easy. Sansa is a name in Game of Thrones. There you go. These are all Game of Thrones names. Yeah. Those are kind of Game of Thrones names. Kola, Kanika, Daka, Waka. Yeah.

You're right. This is great. Yeah. Mapa. Yeah. A Mapa, a King Mapa. Dama. Of the Nori.

Yeah. Pompomp. These are tribal names. Pompomp. Pompomp. The ruler of the Six Kingdom. Yeah. So there you go.

I thought I recognized the stupid names. So she's saying if your parents are non-binary, that this is how you can refer to them to make them feel comfortable. Is that what's being said? Can I tell you something? I don't know what the fuck she's saying. Okay? I just thought you would like it.

I love it. Thank you. You got it. I love it. I love this stuff, man. Mapa. Mapa. Nori.

Dama. Jesus Christ. You start saying that. Everyone's like, is that your parents' name? Dama? And you're like, no, that's what I called them. Why? Because we're, you know.

Oh, she won't. But who comes up with these names? It's like they have a council. Is this what the socialists do when they meet in the point of personal privilege? Is this what they come up with? Is this the shit they decide on? It might be. Mapa.

Donka. Pupu. Kakka. Point of personal privilege. Yes. Y'all know what's a banana split? I wish that guy would have been with me. He would get thrown out of there so fast.

That's what we have to do is infiltrate the socialist meetings. We need to put like- We gotta send Unkshine to any type of like council meeting. Yeah. Yeah. Hey, there's a hearing on this new proposed city tax. I'm coming at your fairies. And they're like, excuse me.

Just get up on the gap. Sir, would you like to weigh in on this? I'm coming to get that booty. Okay. All right. All right. You need to get out of here, sir. Yeah.

I wish they would make Unkshine a TV judge, like Judge of Duty. How great would it be to watch him rule on stuff? Punishment. You gotta make a banana split. You want some corn? Yup. Pecan. Yup.

Pecan. Yeah. Be great. Oh, man. Well, that was great. Thanks, Tom. You really know what I like. I do know what you like.

I know. Love that pronoun talk. Yeah. You having some good rain chats while you're in the back? Oh, that's all we talk about. Well, we don't know if it was going rain. They said it wasn't going rain and now it's raining. That's a good one.

Yeah. Do you by any chance have in your folder Garth's latest Instagram post? I don't know if it was sent in too late. They can pull it up, I guess. Yeah, I think it was sent too late. Sorry, guys. I caught it at like five this morning when I was... Can you pull it up, please?

Yeah, hold on. I think it's worth exploring. Which is it? Is this from a show that he did? Yeah. He just did another big ass stadium. And the quote is pretty great. It's pretty good.

Okay. Okay, ready? Yeah. I can't read it. Please. Okay. It says, that was mother husking awesome. Oh, God.

Love G hashtag Garth and Lincoln. Like I get that the Huskers, that's a Lincoln. Yes. Like I, you know what? Oh, like our agent liked it. Yeah. But I hate when people like he's doing a play on fan. Like just say the word.

You know what I mean? Yes. Comments underneath it. Yeah. We're like, touch my camera from the stage, Garth. And you know what's a banana split? Yeah. Seven times.

You know that meme that was going about that was my fall plans and the Delta variant? Yeah. Somebody posted touch my fall plans through the fence. Oh, that made me laugh so hard. But Tom, don't you agree? Like there's that, there's that great Louis CK bit where he's like, I hate people that say the N word. Yeah.

Yeah. Like just say the word. Say the word. Like cause you know what everyone's thinking when they read mother husking. Right. Like you know what you're doing. Yeah. Yeah.

Touch my camera through the fence. Yeah. Yeah. And just say mother fucking and then do a different play on huskers, corn huskers or whatever. Yeah, I agree. It just bothered me. Like just, just say the word fuck face.

Well, that is, that is his brand though. His brand is it was mother husking. Awesome. That's, that's right on. That's G's brand. And like they love it. There are so many people there that think mother husking a stadium. Yeah.

A stadium. And also generations of people can go to his show, like the grandparents, the parents and the kids can go and they have a great mother husking time. Just like our show. It's a family show. If you flip, you want to flip the branding. So his branding is mother husking. Some of our branding you could argue would be the, the posts that I shared of my mother

and I, when I told her about Norm Summerton, but I told her in Spanish about him pissing on his French fries. He did. Well, I told her during a podcast and she got so upset. I know I've laughed so fucking hard at this that like it, it broke me down. There's subtitles. They're not totally accurate, but I've watched the clip now 25 times. Well, then we have to see it.

What are you doing? It's right here. Watch it here. I think he can play it right here. Oh gosh. I love Charles. I'm watching videos from my friend Norm. In a video, he's sitting on a table with a dish with fries.

He says he has a French recipe from Canada for fries, but at that moment he spits it and meh makes a pile of fries. Oh no, no, no, no, no. Oh, no, no, no, no. No. No. No. No.

No. No. No. No. No. No, this is what I would say. No. No.

Well, but, yes, I go. No. No. Well, but. No. Oh, that's it. Oh my God. I have.

She goes, are you taking drugs? You are taking drugs because I told her. I was like, yeah, I first, I started by sending her the picture. I was like, here's my friend Norma. She's like, what? What's on his chest? I go, there's suction cups to make his tits grow. She's like, what?

She goes, this is your friend. She still believes you when you're like my friend, Norma. Wait, because she says in the subtitle, she goes, hey, he's putting cups on his tits for eight hours. God forgive him. He doesn't know what. No, that was for me. That was for me.

Yeah. Yeah. God forgive me. I don't know what I'm doing. She goes, I don't know what's wrong with what's inside of you is making me enjoy this. Oh my God. I think my parents felt the same way. I think my dad saw a few episodes your mom's house and he was like, what are you doing?

What is this? Yeah. You're smart. Yeah. We educated you. Yeah. He's just talking about farts and shits. That clip, I didn't even post the rest of it.

I ended up crying because I ended up, this is an old one that she appeared on, but I just, somebody sent me a clip of it the other day. I ended up telling her about when we watched the video. It was the first time I puked doing the show and she got so upset. And then I go and then Christina left because she can't be around puke. And then she was begging me to stop and I go, and it was at that moment that I wanted to tell God and tell him that this is the moment that symbolizes my life. And she was like, she was so offended.

It was great. I should post the rest of it. So funny. Even with the subtitles, I like hearing her in Spanish do it. It's even better. Oh yeah. Because you know, it comes freely. Yes.

It's so genuine from her. Yeah. You know, I love hearing you speak Spanish. Very attractive. Thank you. You know, you present as, you present as white. Yeah. But I'm actually, I'm actually Latinx.

You're Latinx. And I'm super proud of that. About my Latinx side of the family. What are your pronouns for Latinx dad? A yes. That's the new one I'm using. A yes con queso. A yes con queso.

Yeah. Yep. So funny. I was talking to somebody this weekend in Columbus and they were like, you know, like, you know, someone starts to compliment you and it's not really a compliment. Like when they're like, I tried listening to your mom's house. He goes a few years ago.

I couldn't get into it. And I was like, thank you. And then he's like, and then I started to listen to you. And I was like, okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I was like, thank you.

And then he's like, and then I started to listen again. And now I can't watch normal shows. He's like, I can't. Yeah. I can't. He's like, I can't watch scripted like sitcom. This guy maybe has not heard about Game of Thrones. He's got to check it out.

New show. HBO Max. Very good. Very good. He's like, you guys ruined like network shows or anything where people aren't talking the way you guys do. Oh, that we did. We did you a favor.

Believe me. We just, yeah, we just a fucking got you out of the matrix, bro. Yeah. We hooked you up. And speaking of, of, of non, what's the word I'm looking for it where it starts as a compliment and then it's not a compliment or kind of. Yeah. Or like, so show business.

You know, especially stand up comedians were always humbled. It's you're never on top for very long. If you feel good about yourself, that should end the next weekend. Like you're, so for instance, I have every time you do a venue, even if it's a theater and arena, a club, the talent always comes in through the garbage bins. Like you're always ushered in. So it's always a nice reminder of where you're from as a standup

comedian. I always, you know, here's the garbage. This is where I come in. So in Austin, I, I got to do a local show finally. And I'm not going to say the name of the club, but they go, you know, you're on a mural. You want to go see yourself. We painted you on the side of the club, the club mural.

I go, Oh my gosh, that's a huge honor. I'd love to go see that. So we go up, we take a look and there's Tommy and Joe Rogan, red band, you know, Ron White. And here I am next to these wonderful comedians. And I go, well, I'm just so, I thank you so much. And the guy goes, well, I mean, we had to put a woman on there. Otherwise we'd catch hell for it.

I was like, cool. Thank you. Thanks. You know, you could have just left that part out. You don't have to tell me that. By the way, I wonder if people will be able to figure out the venue you're talking about. I'm not going to say it, but if you're, you know, Austin,

make sure to point out that you like that they put a woman up. Thank God there's a woman. Otherwise we catch hell for it, you know, you know, these days everyone's got to see some fucking broad on everything. Anyway, how's that forced inclusivity working out guys? It's not working very well. I'd rather just not be on the thing. You know what I mean?

I wanted to ask you something. I don't care. I know. It's like, don't don't force me into it. Don't force inclusivity, guys. Nobody wants it. Let the white guys do their thing. Let me ask you this.

I don't care. I don't mind being a second class citizen. It's worked out fine. How do you feel about getting an additional pet? Depends. Yeah. You're open to the idea. You'll entertain the idea.

Another Brussels. Yeah. Well, what do you think about this? Okay. Easy boy. I don't get that. Give me just. Let him ask.

I don't touch that. Do you think that would eat Betsy? Okay. I think it would eat all of us. Look at that. Oh, oh, look how chill he is. Why is he so relaxed around there? He's had him since he was a puppy.

He's like, this little guy, he wouldn't hurt anything. Look at those paws. Look at the fucking size of its head. Oh my God. Babe, those paws are bigger than that guy's head. Yeah. Yeah, that thing will fuck you up. Not him.

This guy doesn't have to learn jiu-jitsu. He's like, no, no, no, I'm good. I got this guy with me all the time. But what is that delusion that you think that you're special, that this animal won't turn on you? It will. If it turned on Siegfried and Roy, and it'll turn on your ass.

Right. It dragged that motherfucker by the neck. Yeah. He was feeding that fucking cocaine and sandwiches and diamond feathers and all kinds of gay shit, and it still snapped his neck in half. Diamond feathers. You know what I mean?

Yes, they were giving those. They weren't giving them bullshit food. It was buying them Chanel purses and everything, and it still fucking snapped his neck. Did he live through that? Yeah, he lived. Oh, my God. Look at those claws.

Look at the claws. You are so stupid. He's like, what? Jesus. He's like, you just need to know how to be around him. That's why these guys are always like, you just need to, you know. Look at that.

Do you think they feel special, right? He just nibbled his leg right there. He's like, oh, fuck that hurt. Yeah. You stupid bear. Oh, you silly guy. That bear. You just don't know him like I know him.

That bear could disembowel that man in three seconds. It's just rough. Just slice him in half. He's special, right? Yeah, he's a real special guy. He thinks that he's a man. Oh, boy. Fucking Puma in the house.

Yeah, all these guys, by the way, we've seen so far have a moment where they're like, oh shit. Like, you know, oh my God. I almost lost my shoulder. Because that's not a pet fuckhead. You're out of your mind. Even with regular domestic cats, like sometimes just a small domestic cat will fuck you up.

Yeah. You know, you've ever been clawed by just a little cat. I have. I spent the night at someone's house and the cat jumped on my face while I was sleeping. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

And that's just a regular house cat. Like, did you imagine an animal like this? Well, yeah, you'd be like, oh, I don't have a nose anymore. It just came off when that Puma swiped at it. I saw a TikTok of a snake coming out of a toilet. And? I don't know if I sent that to you. Have you seen?

Well, I'll tell you this. How about this? I now need a pee break. Let's do a pee break. Okay. When we come back. TikToks. Absolutely phenomenal.

The emptying of my bladder. And now I'm back. And as promised. I heard you bitches were looking for me. Some of the most special TikToks the internet has created by Christina P with a couple surprises maybe in there as well. I don't know. So.

Oh, really? Surprises for me? I think so. I think so. Wow. Well, I've also liked to add a new feature. I'm going to let you guys know. So, Chase O'Donnell, my feature act.

We've been doing this thing where she's a trained dancer. She's been dancing since she was two years old. And every time I see a crazy person dancing. I've seen this. It's really good. I make Chase duet it. Learn the dance. Get in the same costume.

It's great. And do the dance. And it is phenomenal. And you'll see those stories on my feed as well. And she's just killing the game. She's killing it. Yeah. It's really funny.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. What will she like? What does it have? The noodles. Is it grip noodles? It's grip noodles.

Maybe. Maybe. Maybe. She's eating moving ones. Yeah. She seems pretty cute. Do you see that, Chase O'Donnell? Yeah.

She's got some wild tats. If I saw her, I'd be like, and I'd be like, hey, girl, what's up? What did you eat for dinner tonight? And then if she was like, I ate live worms, I'd be like, all right,

I'm gonna split. It's like when you come home, remember when you came home their day and you kissed me on the mouth and you're like, whew, what did you eat? I'm like, oh, pho. I like pho.

I ate Vietnamese food. And then I had some beer. Imagine what her mouth fucking smells like. Yeah. Sounds like your fucking, your grandpa's dead dick, but it smells like. Any Illinois women

in their 20s, 30s, up to 40, first one to message me gets to go out on a date with me dinner and a movie. Wow. What a nice offer. What a cool.

That's very cool. Well, that's a nice offer. Hey, these days a lot of men won't pay for dinner in a nice movie. That's really sweet of him. And he also expanded that age range all the way up to 40. Hey.

This, this catch is saying, you know what? I'll go up there. I want 20s, maybe 30s. I'll go all the way up to 40s. Dude, that means I'm eligible.

Well, 40s, right? No, he said 40. I'm sorry. Your expiration date is. Rotten milk. Yeah. You could not get this guy. He also has got a cool I thing going on

like the opening clip. His eyes got one goes this way, one goes that way. It's kind of neat. You know, the guy says, what do you want from me? One guy is watching dinner. The other guy is watching the date.

Pretty cool. Do you think he can see? Like, wait, I know this is stupid, but does he see? Like, is he literally, he's like looking this way and he can see what's on that side.

And then he sees on the, what's outside too. Like, does he see differently? Is he, should he be an airline? I mean, should he be in a pilot is what I'm saying in the Air Force?

Because all you need to have really good peripheral vision. Yeah. They usually have a size limit for those fighter jets. You know, most of those pilots are not like 350, 375 laying down all the time. But,

what I'm trying to say and I'm not doing good job. Yeah. Tell me if you have better peripheral vision than we do. Yeah. I don't think he does. I don't, I don't think he does. Okay.

Well, it would stand the logic that he would because his eyes go sideways. Yeah. It's a good question for an ophthalmologist. I think we'll, we'll reach out to one for the next show. Okay. Thank you very much.

Thank you. We can move on. We can move on now. Thank you. Baby, if you give it to me, I give it to you. You give it to me.

Baby, if you give it to me, I give it to you. You give it to me. Ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta. That was pretty cool. I don't know why any doesn't do more TikToks like that. You know what I mean?

Not any? This guy has cool black eye vibes. Why don't you do that too, man? Baby, if you give it to me, I give it to you. I give it to you. I don't give it to me.

There you go. See? You know that song? There you go. Then you do the baseline. Very nice. I'll do it. I'll do it for you.

Thank you very much. Woo. And then, I think pretty soon here, we'll be coming up on Chris Larson's next Instagram post. Oh. It'll be like Friday. Is it that time?

The month? It was a good week. Have a good weekend. Are you going to party, guys? I'm going to make sure you drive safe. I want you to do a really cool video like that. We're all looking forward to that, Chris. I'm not.

Okay. Chris, come on. Got to tell people have a nice weekend. And then your next post is Monday. It's going to be work. We're going to work this week. Everybody have a good week at work. If it's your birthday,

I want to say happy birthday. Why don't you give birthday shout outs? Come on. Okay. Here's a secret that most single people of all genders don't know, but if they knew the secret, it would change their odds of finding a healthy relationship exponentially.

The secret is simple. Boundaries are sexy. So here's the problem. Most single people want to be liked and they find somebody that they like. So they say to themselves, if I put up a boundary, whether that boundary is,

I'd prefer phone calls instead of texts. I'd like you to take me on a proper date. I'm not ready to have sex yet. I really don't want to do that ethical non-monogamy thing. They're afraid that if they put up that boundary, they will scare off potential mates. But here's the secret. You will scare off 100%

of people who are not appropriate for you. You'll scare off narcissists. You'll scare off sociopaths. You'll scare off selfish people. And who's going to be left standing? Healthy mates. You're naturally curly hair. Yeah.

I thought that was actually a really good way to balance out all the crazy talks. I thought it was nice to have something pretty intrinsically valuable in there. Do you like boundaries? Do you think boundaries are sexy? You talking to me? Yeah.

Yeah. Of course. You and I, that's how we started. I was like, no, no, no. I hate everything. I don't want you. And then now look, you know.

Well, I also liked you because you were normal and like you weren't texting me 500 times a day. I thought that was attractive that you had boundaries. Yeah. I was attractive. Your normalcy was very attractive. Your consistency. I like that.

Boundaries, guys. Boundaries. Set some up, okay? Yeah. I like all the boring stuff about you. That's my favorite. Thank you. It's just how like boring you are.

I like it. Awesome. Feels good. I am highly pissed right now. Why? Please also. Just threaten to slap me. And that's not right.

I need a war pack to talk to them. Uh-oh. Okay. Well, that's another case of like, he didn't do anything wrong and the cops are hurting him, you know? Mm-hmm. These guys are never doing anything wrong.

It's like all the, you know, these cops are just hitting people. Geez. So this is a exposing police brutality is what you're up to now? Yep. Okay. All right. Mm-hmm.

Hey everyone. I just want to say good morning and have a good day at work or whatever you're doing today. Just have a good day. Enjoy. Enjoy the sunshine. Have a best. This is what I want from Chris Larson.

Me too. Babe, it's all anybody wants from Chris Larson. Have a great day. It's a sunny. Enjoy that. All right. She threw in the weather like that. That's a first.

They usually don't throw in the weather. Here we go. Oh, you ready? Yeah. Okay. Here you go. Hello everybody. I'm in the woods and I'm lost and I can't find my mom and dad.

Could you help me? I'm lost. I'm lost. I'm lost. I'm with my mommy and daddy. Captain Marcel. That's Captain Marcel. Yeah.

She's back. Yep. And she's making her colorful talks again. That's a very, but it's kind of a sad talk because she's looking for her mommy and daddy. She's lost. Maybe her mommy and daddy are where her sister are, which is down by the mountain. She needs to go rescue all of them together. That's right.

It's an interesting subject for her. She's always exploring abandonment. I think if we were to look at what's going on there. All right. Two more and then we're going to wrap it up. Okay. Okay. We must.

Continuing in my weird things from my collection. I have a Star Trek tea bag made in China. The back of it says the property of the USS Enterprise. Well, that's it for today. Live long and prosper. That was a great talk, man. Good job. Ladies, listen here.

When you've been with your man for a long time, every now and then you got to go in the back of that closet and fill out that freakish stuff. Get your freakish stuff on. You don't need him. He needs you. Remember that. That's not bad advice, actually. It's not.

And I thought that was a nice relationship advice. That is boundaries are sexy and go in the back of your closet and get the freaky stuff out. All right. Well, Jean, it's been a long day for the two of us. Oh, yeah. You flew out to Los Angles today. I did.

I did. I'm going to crash super hard after this. I'm going to keep going. I have my go-go juice here. I'm going to keep going. Okay. You hug those boys for me. Kiss those boys.

I will. The reason we're apart today is Ellis' first day of kindergarten is coming up. Yeah. I'm flying home. Your fleet, you're going to be home for it. I'm here for it. We're all here. It's going to be fun.

We're here. We're gay. Let's do it. I'm here. I'm queer. I'm LGBTQIAAA. Okay. Doma.

All right. Mapa. Mapa. Mika Duka. Shakazulu. Mapa. Doma. Nori.

Pompom. Pompom. Yeah. Love you too. It was fun. All right. See you later, Gene. Bye, Gene.

Mwah. You're gorgeous. You're precious. Precious. I love you. Do you like stickers? My next guest does. Welcome back.

The great Kevin Christie. Thank you very much for coming back. I would expect, I expected you to talk about, you told me right before we record, you have a sticker collection. I do. You have a sticker show. I have a, I technically have a sticker show. I haven't made one in a while, but I have a sticker show where I talk about my skateboard

sticker collection and, and then I kind of talk about art. Well, I, because you also, as I assume you have like a watch collection, you know so much about watches. I do. I don't have much of a collection anymore, but like, yeah, I do. Whenever I decide I like something, I kind of, you know. You go all in. I try.

I just like knowing stuff. Yeah. Yeah. I like to be able to bore anybody. About, like with details. Yeah. Because that's when you can really bore someone. Really bog down a conversation with extraneous details and numbers.

Yeah. And getting into watches, I mean, you can really get into detail. It's a real vagina dryer. To be honest. When you, when you know the, the model numbers. Model serial numbers. Yeah. The difference in the bezels.

Yeah. I was talking about crown imprints. Just really, really annoy the shit out of some poor bastard. Yeah. Who just bought a watch. Yeah. Just cause he was like, that one's nice. It's blue there.

And you're like, well, do you want to know why? And he's like, no, I don't. No. I don't at all. But you're already telling me. Yeah. I guess. Yeah.

Tell me why I like it. Yeah. It's the worst. I know. Well, I just, I did a podcast with Kevin O'Leary from Shark Tank, you know. Oh yeah. Mr. Wonderful. Yeah.

He was like, one of the best watch collections in the world. Yeah. And he was talking, we were, you know, talking about it. And he was just like, he was like, yeah, I don't talk about how many watches I have and where they're located because they're spread out and I've had two attempted heists. The robberies that have been happening of watches in the last year have been brazen and violent. Really?

Yeah. Like on Melrose. Oh, the one here where the Richard Mille one was, was like in broad daylight. Broad. Well, it's a $500,000 watch. But they were targeting this person. Yeah. They were following him around for a while.

But even on Melrose, there's like a... Did they get it? I forget. They caught the guy, yeah. They caught the guy. Did they... I think they got the watch back. Oh.

Yeah. And they caught the guy that did it? Yeah. They caught the guy. Well, you looked that up while we... It was a robbery in Beverly Hills. Beverly Hills broad daylight at like a lunch place. They just rolled up on him with a gun.

Yeah. And, and they, yeah, they clearly had been following someone for a while. I wanted, I wanted to know what happened with that story. I believe they caught him. I mean, there's been a ton of watch robberies in the last five years because everyone now knows what it looks like, what these watches look like. Yeah. And that watch is worth the...

It's the same cost as a condo. Yeah. So like, I mean, you know, I told all my friends like, hey, stop wearing that shit in public. Really? Yeah. Because especially there was a bunch of robberies on Melrose and dudes were... They weren't like, hey, give me your watch or I'll hit you. They just hit you in the head and then take the watch.

So here we go. Three arrests. Hit that text bigger for a second. Three alleged gang members arrested the armed robbery of the $500,000 watch while he was eating lunch at an outdoor restaurant. A woman, scroll a little bit. A woman was shot in the leg during the struggle. Yeah.

Three suspects were arrested. Well, they were members of the Roland OG Crips, a South Los Angeles street gang. I've heard of them. Yep. Looks like Malik, Kai, and Marquise each face up to 20 years. And damn, police have not yet found the watch the men are stealing. Oh, really? Yeah.

It says the Rose Gold Richard Mille RM-1103 flyback chronograph, which is popular with celebrities. Yeah. All right. Yeah. I wonder if we don't know if the person who the watch was taken from was a notable person, do we? I don't know.

There's the watch. Yeah. That's a... That is a beautiful watch. See, I don't like that. As far as Richard Mills go, I don't like that one. I like the plastic-y colored ones, like the white ones and the wacky colored ones. I like the red, the one that really pops, but I mean, still, when you look at that...

Yeah. That thing's a fucking mess. Who are we kidding? That's a mess. That's a mess to you? That's a mess. That one? Yeah.

What about the one that was next to it? Almost all of those are a mess. Okay. You can't... Tell me what time it is. But that's not why I'm buying that, though. If you're buying it, it's just a full-on flex. Who is not buying it as a fucking flex?

There are some pure watch nerds that are buying it to flip it over and be like, look at this escapement valve. But most people are like, this is a flex. For sure. And those watches, most of them looked like total shit. I went into the Richard Mills one. Look, they're nice, but to me, that open-face thing looks like you took the parts and threw them at the front.

It's unreadable. It doesn't... There's a lack of beauty to them. Sort of like a painting in a way. This is like a sculpture, you know what I mean? It's almost like a piece of art. Yeah, you could make that case. You could make the case that it's a piece of art.

Yeah. That's a messy-ass piece of art. It is. It is. That's a Jackson Pollock right there. And most people are like, what the fuck am I looking at? Yeah, that's true. And then someone's like, it's half a million dollars.

Or in his case, that's 45 million dollars for that painting. Technologically, he's interesting. He does weird shit in the insides. That's why I found out about him at first. But those... I like the more calmer versions of them. I went into... Because I had only heard about these and seen them in photos, and I was in one of the Vegas

casinos. Oh, yeah. And they have a boutique, a store of his, right? Yeah. So I was like, I got to walk in here. Right away, they were like, what are you doing here? Yeah, you walk in, they're like, hi. You walk in.

They give you that strong hello. The security guys start to move forward. They're like, what do you want? I'm like, can I look at the watch? And they're like, okay. This isn't a fucking showcase, and you're like, all right. And then I'm like, looking around, I'm like, what's this, and what's that? And they're telling me, like reluctantly telling me.

And then she was like, the entry-level one's over here. Did you take out your poster from your show? No, no, of course not. I was like, I'll have you know. You can entry-level go fuck yourself. But I was like, how much is the entry-level one? It's like 100? Yeah, it was like 90.

Yeah, I was like, god damn. That's the thing. If you don't have, to me, if you're spending a hundred grand on a watch, you better have like 20 million in the bank after taxes. Yeah, yeah. To where you're like, look, I've kind of got like, at this point, you've bought everything. It's getting kind of boring. Yeah, yeah.

You're like, I need something to make my heart to slip a beat. I want to be scared in public. Yeah. Yeah. I want to feel that dopamine drip. I want to get that call from my business manager when he's like, what the fuck are you doing? You're like, hey dude, what the fuck?

Are you in Vegas right now? You're like, yeah, look at the watch. She's like, something's for $100,000, what did you buy? Isn't that the worst? I got to watch, man. You get rich enough to do that shit and there's still somebody being like, fucking Tom and you're like, fuck you, man. Yeah, fuck you, dude.

Yeah. Give me shows I just did. Yeah. I talk for three hours in a whole weekend. I am exhausted. All right. The ramp to the stage is 60 feet. Yeah.

And I need to time it out. So I bought a watch. Yeah. Watch how many bottles of water I drank during the show. Three bottles I crushed. You're like, this is not real work. Yeah, it is. Okay, I'm very tired.

I love, love, love, love watching my friends get wacky rich off jokes. It is the fucking funniest. It makes me, it does a thing to my heart that makes me so happy. Yeah. Because I want, I just, because then- Seen any comedian pop, right? You're like, you're like, dude, this is so great. Yeah.

And also it puts them in the wealthy ones, you're one of them now, in these circles with people where they're like, what did you do? And they're like, well, I sat behind this desk staring at a screen of numbers for 25 years. I'm on my fourth divorce. Yeah. And I'm like inches from a heart attack. You're like, that's cool.

I've been talking about my B-hole for close to seven years. Yeah, it's about a second home, man, just for fun. Yeah. So like, you know, C-Doo. Just like a dick head. Yeah. It must be infuriating. I know.

I think I, yes, because I met some people where I live now who were like, I'm a hedge fund guy. Yeah. I'm a commercial real estate guy and they're like, you know, I was like, yeah, dicks and farts. I kind of walk around and then I see stuff and I'm like, you're not stupid. And people were like, dude, here's all my money. Oh, they deserve it.

They deserve to feel that. Well, here's a part of it that's, that people don't realize, I think, that are not in comedy. Our goal wasn't like, oh, you have to reach a certain like a level of success. It was that we all just didn't want to have regular jobs. My goal was not to get this rich, it was just to not be you. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. That's the best way to put it.

It's like, because we all had regular jobs and we were like, I am not kind of like every comedian started because they're like, I don't want to do this, this office thing. Yeah. Where, where like somebody is like barking orders at me and you know, you're asking for permission to step outside. Like, I don't want to do that. The last job, the job that really made me like want to be a creative person. I had a job on an assembly line in Sacramento.

You did? Yeah. I was like, not like, don't, don't picture like a car assembly line. It was like computer parts. Okay. But I did have to stand the same place like nine hours a day and just assemble these things that you plugged into your VCR that then you plugged into your TV that allowed you to pull a still frame.

That was it. This is before you just stand up? Yeah. This is 1995. Okay. And it was called the snappy or something. It was like, you can pull a still frame from your TV. Like that was it.

It was a very rudimentary piece of technology. What would somebody want the still frame for? I probably to jerk off to. Like I don't know. You know what I mean? It was just like a new technology type thing. Yeah. And so that's, and I remember for three months I had that job because my friend was like,

hey, because it was like a computer graphics company. Yeah. He's like, dude, you can come up here and do art stuff. And I was like, rad. And I showed up. He's like, yeah, you work on the assembly line. And I was like, that's less rad. Like two of the guys on the line had ankle bracelets.

Like the. Oh yeah. Yeah. It was, it's Sacramento. And. Sacktown really people who, I think once you live in California, yeah, you find out. I think outside, I don't know how many people know that like the shit really pops off in Sacramento.

That part of California is can ruckus. Yeah. Like really can. It really can ruckus up there. Like that whole NorCal region. They're not fucking around. Nope. You keep your head on the swivel.

Yeah. Like you're leaving the San Jose improv like they give you a security guard to walk you back to the hotel. I absolutely. I remember too being like, oh, San Jose, California. Yeah. Didn't know anything. It's my first time.

And they're like telling me how to get there and they're like, what's your plan for coming back? I was like. Walking? It's two and a half blocks. Yeah. We talking about it. They're like, you don't want to go this way.

Well, you also picture like the Capitol. And you're like, pop, pop, pop, pop. Yeah. Yeah. So like I worked there for three months and I just remember being like, oh, I'm going to college. I'm going to go to art school. This is not.

Not for me. I'm not, I can't do this. I can't do this. So I remember there was a kid on the line. He was like into video games. He goes, yeah, man, I'd be cool with doing this the rest of my life. Why? Yeah.

Sacramento. I don't know. And he was such a good looking dude. I was like, you could do so many other things. Yeah. You can prostitute, like do stuff. Yeah. He was beautiful.

Yeah. Sometimes it's nice to hear another man tell a man, you could be a prostitute, you know? Like, hey, I don't know if you know this, but you have got the goods. You could be a hoe. Get out there. Yeah. Hoe it up, dog. And like with his looks, high paid.

Yeah. I'm going to. I mean, sex work should be legal. I'm going to jail. Yeah. I just sent the high department. Unemployment. A bunch of pussy peps.

You want to know who I am? Why don't you come visit me in person? I'm not no fucking bot. I'm a real fucking human being. Here I am. Why don't you inspect this pussy? Sure. Yeah.

I mean, why in place such an important part of, and how your life goes? Do you know what I mean? Like that, it's, it's, it was just too low. It's been too low her whole life. Her whole life. To where she couldn't really do anything with it. It just, there weren't enough available hairstyles to her. And then you think that informed so many.

Never felt that great. And so she never felt good enough about herself. She never felt like she was destined for anything. So she kind of lowered all her standards. Yep. Cause every day she woke up and was like, you're a monchigi. What's going on? And you know, that's why she started smoking, which we don't have to see her do it.

We know she smokes a lot. She eats cigarettes. Yeah. Like chops them up, snorts them. Yeah. It's like, that's seasoning. Yeah. Just unravels them.

The way people eat potato chips. Yeah. Yeah. That's like the tiniest thing can derail your entire existence. I think about it all the time. That alone, I mean, that wart also is not like, but I think that's an easy fix probably at some point. But you're like, why?

Yeah. Like what the fuck for? She's like, are you going to pull my hairline back when you do that? Yeah. Like at this point, she's like, why do that? Like, you know, you're fixing the doorknobs on a burning garage. And I don't even know if those are her eyebrows or if like, look, yeah. The eyebrows, the hairline would tell you that the eyebrows should be way denser than

that. Like she should have my eyebrows. And they should be lower. Way lower. Or maybe they touch. Like let's be honest. On the left there. Yeah.

You're coming pretty close. Yeah. You know. And she's setting pussy pics now, which is something she never planned on doing at this age. No. Which may, look, there's so many doors in life that open at different times. Yeah.

What a wonderful woman. Is she a recurring, is she got a recurring role? No. She's brand new to us. The internet is, the internet really has prize. Yeah. What a new guy today. We're all real excited about.

I'm looking for me a white girl with a fetus. Serious replies only. Serious replies only. Yeah. I think they know how to work it. They need to know how to work it. Yeah. That, I mean, the worst would be if they, wait, are we seeing which direction both his

eyes are going? He's really looking for, what he's looking for is two monitors. He's got two monitors. He's like one of those hedge fund guys where there's just so many screens. He's on multiple dating apps right now. He's like, you, I'm not missing her. I'm not going to miss her. I'm going to find her.

The fucking audacity of, of like the confidence and, and the balls of this guy to lay down and make, make, and then request serious replies only. You don't need to see my mouth. Nope. Why? I'm going to lay down and do this. You know, I have teeth. You can tell from his voice.

He does. He has teeth. Yeah. You can tell, you can, he would sound different. And he also demands you need to know how to work it. Yeah. But, and I mean, he's got a decent hair, head of hair. I like what he's doing there.

I like he doesn't dye it. You know what I mean? I like that too. I hate dyed hair on men. It's really weird. Like the Sharpie. Yeah. It's so.

The Seagal. He's still, he's, he's got, how old is he now? Just how old is Steven Seagal? He's in his early thousands. He's got to be. It's jet black. Mark Harman. He's 69, dude.

Mark Harman told me a story. I was working on NCIS. No big deal. Mark Harman told me a story about Steven Seagal where he met him at like the Paramount lot before his first movie came out. But Mark Harman had seen the movie because the director wanted to work with Mark Harman. It's like, here's this movie. I just finished.

Check it out. See if you want to work with me. Before Seagal's first movie came out? Yeah. So the movie wasn't out yet, but it was like going to be Seagal's first starring thing. And so Mark Harman's season at Paramount goes up and goes, hey man, I saw your movie. You're really good. You got something there.

But just one thing. Don't let anyone ever film you running ever again. You're a really weird run. And Harman goes, I go into the commissary. I eat for 20 minutes. I come back out. He's still standing there staring at me. It's like, how fucking did you?

How fucking, yeah. I mean, Steven Seagal running is like one of the best YouTube clips. It's such a, there's compilations of it. Have you heard that old Stallone story? About Seagal? Okay. Here it is. Why are his arms doing that?

You're talking about arms, highly trained arms. Why are his highly trained arms doing that? I mean, it looks like he's like, he's going to cup. He looks like an inflatable car place guy. He looks like he's learning how to run. He looks like he's, it's like that episode of Friends where Phoebe runs like that. Yeah. Yeah.

It's a joke run. It's a joke run. What dude? Look at those little arms. Why are they flailing? All his powers in his legs. That's what we just learned. Also, for somebody that like has such an ego, you would assume that he would see that and

be like, I look fucking weird running. Well, there's this Stallone story is that he, he goes up to Sylvester Stallone and goes, I just read the most amazing, powerful, most. Rob Schneider. Script. Rob Schneider, too. Really? Yeah.

Rob Schneider told that story the week that he, he told that story from when he seems to go hosted SNL, widely regarded as the worst host ever and told the story you're going to say. So maybe he told it to both. Yeah. He goes up the most amazing, powerful, well-written script I've ever read in my life and Sly goes, who wrote it? And he goes, I did.

I did. It's amazing. You think he was worse than Nancy Kerrigan? I don't know. They said, I read a thing that said who were like, they asked who were like, the worst people we've ever had host as a just, you know, showing up, going over the rough ideas, the pitches that they have. Yeah.

And then throughout the week they said, Seagal, anything that like poked fun at him? He was like, no, because hosts can kill sketches and he's like, nope. And then I heard the Paris Hilton, they said was terrible, terrible. I don't know if it was the same reason they said she was terrible. And I know there's one other that I watched her cooking show the other day. How was it? It was pretty good. Yeah.

Yeah. It's well, they, her and whoever's making it figured out exactly what to do with it. Okay. Like it's, it's, it's efficient. It doesn't try to do so much. Is there a hope to it? It's just that she can't really cook. So she's kind of figuring it out as she goes along.

Okay. And she has the way, the thing I'll say about her that I think is either smart or just the way she is, is she says very little. Like she waits and waits and waits and then just hits you with a very short phrase. She doesn't like just talk and talk and talk and talk. So she'll be like, we're going to make check in. And then she won't say anything for a while. And the other person in there with her will just be like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

And she's like, good idea. She's sort of the anti-Burt Kreischer, if you will. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. I listened to two bears. So I understand. Well, I mean, two bears yells at me.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. I mean, to be fair, I love it. Yeah. That's cool, man. There is an authenticity to you guys.

We have a genuine, I think, love for each other, you know? You genuinely love pulling him into saying something really stupid. That is true. Where he's like, how about this? You're like, keep going. You're like, no, no, expand, expand, expand, expand. Have you seen that our fans got a hold of his IMDb page? No.

For his movie coming out? Great. Let's see. It's in here as, what is it? The machine? Yeah. Yeah. And they have been, if you look here, they put all this fake trivia up on the page for

the movie. During filming, Bert Kreischer refused a shower instead. He insisted that swimming in a pool every day would keep him clean because he does shower in the pool. No. Yeah. No. He pool showers.

Due to Bryce Kreischer, Christian is unable to keep his address from becoming public. It is said the production was forced shut down twice while Brent and his mattress found new arrangements. You know what I like? Bert, like, Bert is his fans. Yeah. Him and his fans are the same. Yeah.

Like, they're like, you're the best. And he's like, I am. I was just thinking that. You know what I mean? We're like, I feel like your fans are like, you're the best and you're like, you're kind of a moron. But when Bert's like, I had the best idea and they're like, you did. And he's like, I knew it.

He gets so excited. He's like, I never met somebody who gets so excited by every one of their own ideas. Every. No. Yeah. Every. He's like, it is an open door policy. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You know what I mean? Which is great. He's going to party every day in somewhere. Every day.

Every day. Yeah. And as someone else has pointed out, multiple people know that have hung out or toured with him. They're all amazed. They're like, he really does party that hard. He really is ready to go the next morning. You know, I wonder if you, has he ever done 23 in me?

That's a good question. I wonder if he's built from some weird Viking, you know, those people that you can just do anything to their bodies and they just sort of, you know, like people in Romania that lived to be 160 or some bullshit and they're like, I think we're skiing back and it's like fine. Yeah. I bet he's descended from those type of people. He might be.

I mean, you saw his serve, it doesn't, it doesn't make any sense, any sense. But also, I started to pay attention more even after that, after his serve in the tennis game, that his hand-eye coordination really is high level. Like he is athletic. He is like Jeff Richards. Jeff Richards. Jeff is like that. He has an arm like a cannon.

Yeah. Bert can hit a golf ball beautifully. Yeah. Baseball. Yeah. I bet if, and I don't even know if he has any experience in this, but I saw him shoot a bow and arrow and he did that on the Go Big Show and then he hit a bullseye and they were like, what the fuck?

Yeah. I bet he could throw darts. Like. Probably. I bet he could throw them very accurately. Yeah. That's probably why he didn't become an athlete because it was sort of boring. Yeah.

Just like, yeah, I know. I know. It's fun. Well, also to take, like he probably had such a good baseline. Yeah. You get to above average without pride. Now you got to like wake up early and train all that and he was like, fuck this. When I was on the tennis team, we had like a party after the season where we got consistently

the shit beat out of us, you know, and we were playing basketball. And for whatever reason, I had an okay shot from around the free throw line. Yeah. I hit it like a few times in a row. And our team was such a low priority that the JV basketball coach was the tennis coach. And he was like, hey man, you should try it for the basketball team. And I was like, no. So you fuckers show up to school at like 6 AM and everyone's naked with each other after

practice. I'm good, dude. Yeah. I'm not already torture. I'm not adding like public nudity to it. Like what are you fucking talking about? Fuck that. Also you're weird.

Yeah. For asking me this and you're weird in general. High school coaches are weird. Why? I don't know why we're not pretending that's not weird. Some of them really are. Some of them are super strange. 50% of them.

Although I remember when I got to, I got to the high school I transferred to in Florida after the football season. Freshman football in Wisconsin and then I moved to Florida and the coach had just retired but he stayed on for a year as athletic director. You know, they do that in high schools. And he was, according to everybody, they're like, he's a real psycho. Yeah. And one of the things he liked to do was he would take one of the studs on the varsity

team. Fuck him. Fuck them. He would line them up with like a freshman and be like, run at each other like 20 yards apart. And he would just see the kid get knocked out and he'd be like, don't be a pussy. And they're like, you're going to fucking kill one of these kids. And he enjoyed it.

I met two of the kids that he did it to and he was like, this kid's a freshman. They're like, yeah, he made me run at that dude who's a senior and the guy just fucking blew me up, man. I was like 10. I got on a little league team that was like, I guess, a good little league team. And the coach at like the Meet the Parents thing handed out pamphlets that said the name of the team, the making of a dynasty. And even at 10, I was like, you're a fucking moron.

Like what are you talking about? He's like, we're the winningest team in Glendale Street. I was like, who gives a shit? This is little league. Yeah. I remember distinctly being 11 and we were playing for to go to the league championship and we lost and a bunch of the kids on the team were crying. And I was like, what the fuck do you give a shit about the fucking crying?

And I'm like, this is so lame. You know what I actually do remember is that in fifth grade, in fifth grade, I played center and we had a quarterback. Oh, football. Football. Basketball. No, no, no. And in football, we had a quarterback who was like outrageously athletic, especially

for a 10, 11-year-old. And we fucked people up. And his dad was the coach. So he was like, dad's the coach and his son's the quarterback. And he would devise like plays that you just didn't see. I mean, maybe now. Yeah. And we were talking, you know, this is like 1989 or 90.

We were doing a patchy buttonhook. He was doing flea flickers and like shotgun formation and we were dropping like 50, 60 points on teams to the point where after the game, other coaches wouldn't shake our coach's hand and he was just like a madman. All these years later, I played with that kid for two years. And sometimes when you you leave someone like that, you're like, I wonder because that kid, he seemed like such a good athlete and player, but we're 10, 11 years old. Dude, like a year ago, he hits me up on Facebook and I was like, nah, like you're and I was

like mint and I found out he got a full ride, D one, but had personal problems. Sure. But he actually was legit, like a fucking stud athlete. And you could tell when we were 10, 11, like this kid is, I mean, he was the fucking 40 yard bombs. There was some good athletes around my town. But the kid of the Little League coach was a really nice kid who was really uncoordinated and his dad was kind of uncoordinated, but he was going to force his

poor son to be a good athlete. He did not become a good athlete. He became a drug dealer. Yeah. Yeah, this this is dad owned a Montessori school and some became a fucking dealer. This kid became a drug addict. Yeah, just like ruined him. There was like the best kid on our Little League team was my best friend.

And I remember telling my dad like, he's going to go to the majors. And I was like, no, no, he's not. He's too small. He's too short to play second base. Like he was like, none of you are any good. Yeah, yeah. And he's like, I'm running. He's like, this is not, you're not seeing professional great anything.

The best, like the best athletes who make it have to want it more than dad. Although there was a guy on my Little League team that went to the majors, Jim Parquet, really left hander started at the time, the biggest brawl in MLB history. Started the biggest brawl. Yeah, it went on for minutes. He was playing for the White Sox. What, what started it? Like, I think you just pegged, you know, it was like one guy got pegged, the other

got pegged. There you go. Yeah. He had a glass eye. This guy right here. Oh, really? That's what my dad told me. My dad was his elementary school teacher. That's Jim Parquet. He was a good dude, really smart, got great grades.

I feel like being a pro baseball player is like, you've, you definitely win at life. Like these fucking guys, first of all, like 90% of them, nobody knows who it is. Everyone's like, oh, fuck that guy. Yeah, yeah, you know, they have like, no one knows unless you're die hard into a major league baseball. Yeah, yeah, they make these crazy salaries that are guaranteed. Yeah, they play into their forties. Yeah, a left handed pitcher.

Dude, God forbid you have a knuckleball. Oh my God. And then, yeah, and then at the end of it, they're like, I don't know. I fucking had a car dealership. Yeah, yeah, I played baseball. You know, that thing used to play as a kid. I played it professionally. And, and they like, everyone wants to talk to them.

Yeah, like I, for some reason, I'm not like friends with them, friends with them, but I've hung out with Nick Swisher. Who's the happiest person I've ever met in my entire life. Like it's, I kind of know his wife and I was like, my friend goes, he asked him, goes, is he like that all the time? She was like, oh yeah, from the minute he wakes up. Just happy. He looks happy right there.

Dude, he's the funnest. Like, you know me. I don't love fun that much. Like, I'm not like looking for a good time. That guy, I would hang out with that guy at any point if he was like, give it. Like I met him once for like 30 minutes. And then I saw him again at the All-Star Game in Cleveland and he remembered me. And he was like, holy shit, dude, like so fired up and like got us into like the

we were watching the homerun derby and shit. Like he's the best person of all time. I've had a, I've had a couple of baseball guys come to games multiple times. And, and every time I'm like, yeah, I don't watch any baseball. And they're the nicest guys. Yeah, they're so, they're like, they come to, they've come to shows multiple times. I even, one time I did a show and these people were like, you know, can they meet you after?

I was like, all right. And then when we met, they go, play, you're from Cincinnati. I go, yeah, they go, he played for the Reds. I go, yeah, I never watched it. You met Chris Sabo and had no idea. I remember that name. Yeah. Yeah.

I only know those names from like baseball cards. That's from, that's like from when they were good. Okay. Right. I think Sabo is like the era of them actually getting to the World Series. For a while, me and my friend were obsessed with like, who's the most boring dude? Who's also a professional baseball player? Chris Sabo.

Chris Sabo's up there. Robin Yacht. Like, Saber Hagen. Just like they were the most normal looking white dude ever. Yeah. Like they're, that's what their cards look like. They're like, picture time. They're just like, uh-huh.

Just stare at that thing? Yeah. What is that? Like it's a camera. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. My, my dad, it's one of those. Okay. A bad baseball card.

Like I just, I'm obsessed with that. That's the one they used. Like it's the best thing. Oh my God. Um, I got, we, I have not watched this in this entirety, but I'm excited to show it to you. This is real. Okay. This is, uh, passengers, deplaning.

Great. And as they're deplaning, a pilot decides to share his story. Oh, oh, fuck. I was raped or molested as a young boy. It does not matter whether it was, you can go ahead, go if you need to. It does not matter whether it was a family member or a friend or stranger. It happened and I was, um, left to deal with it alone. Though I was raised by Christians in the church.

I never felt like I could share that with anyone. I screamed to God every night that he would take away my sins and thoughts and resulting in homosexual tendencies. My life spent conspiring out of control. I became a sexual addict and turned to pornography. I got married to a woman almost five years ago. I could not tell her about my pain and struggle with homosexuality, even though I was in love with her just over one year into our marriage, I began to give

into the pressure of being gay. I asked other gay members questions about their lifestyle and what, and what led them to becoming gay pretty soon. I was taking part in that lifestyle. I had sex with men and would come home from work trips every time that nothing happened. Here's two things. Hey, I want that flight to be to Salt Lake City or from it so bad.

Salt Lake City or it, please let it be in the south, like you know, mobile, you know, probably a connector regional plane. Regional plane. Also, how great is the safety design thing? It's just, it never gets old to me. I think Radiohead immediately, like it's so cool looking. Whoever did the first one fucking nailed that shit. Yeah, they really did.

But I like, I mean, do you think that was his last day at work? And he's like, guess what? It feels like it can't be your first day at work. Well, it could be both. Yeah, I could. Could be both. Also, like, what if this was like, as you're boarding, you'd be like, hey, hey man, can I get my bag off real quick?

Yeah. I am 100% for this in every way, shape or form. I know. Fuck. It seems like he wrote it out. Then it goes there. Look, he didn't bomb. Thank you, my little lawyer in here.

No, I'm serious. I'm just my next wife. I'm suing your ass off, okay? Fuck you, we just told you, okay? Let's fuck you. Can't nobody get shit about you, man, bro? Is there a lawyer in here? Somebody was like, fuck you.

This is my next wife. I'm suing your ass. I don't want to hear about your lifestyle, bro. I was an active Christian from the time I was like 15 to 17. And the fucking damage that shit does to people is such a bummer. Yeah. It is such a bummer. Especially when you really drill it into an adolescent mind.

Yeah. You know, it's different. I feel for that dude. Yeah. That, like, what the, like, still being like, I want to share Christ's love with you. When his followers are like, fuck you, man. Yeah. Fuck your story.

Come to my church, I'll bring a gun. Like, you know what I mean? Like, fuck you and your fucking pink cross. Like, they're so pissed at him. They hate him so much. They're so mad. I mean, that's why I bounced, essentially. Yeah.

I was, like, I, when I turned 18, I stopped having to go from, like, I went from, you go from youth group to, like, adult regular, like, and that's what I didn't realize I was going to the fucking footloose church. And I was like, oh, I got to get the fuck out of here. Now, was it a, was it a slow progression into feeling like that? Because, like, for me, I was raised a pretty Catholic parent, you know? Yeah. And, like, it was, it was, you know, expected.

Sure. And it was a blanket thing of, like, you go to church, you go to Sunday school, you pray before meals when you, when you leave the house. Like, prayer, prayer, prayer. As we got older, you know, when you come home to visit from college, you go to church on Sunday and then my parents are like, are you going to church? I'm like, yeah, of course. And then as I got a little bit older, you know, they start to, they would

voice their disappointment that you're not into it. Yeah. Now it's fully accepted. They're like, oh, these kids are not. No, I, my parents didn't, didn't try to get me religious. I think I got into it because, like I said, you, as you know, I'm not a huge fan of fun. Yeah.

And in high school, my high school was so like drug and alcoholic, heavy. Yeah. And I, like, I, you know, I wasn't like hooking up with chicks or anything. So I was like, I need a, I think I needed an excuse. So I was like, I'll go to, I'll become a Christian and then no one can like give me a hard time. Yeah. Like I was pretty scared of life.

So I was just like, this is a way to stay away from it. I'll go to youth group at three nights a week or whatever and church on Sundays and these will be, and everyone there's nice. That's what sucks you in. Is everyone's really nice and they're so stoked to get you there because they're like sweet, more money or whatever, like the room's fuller. And so everyone's like super friendly and you're like, oh, this is great. No one's like bullying me or being a dick.

And so I just like hung in there. But like, I wasn't like a homophobic teen at all because like my art mentor was a gay dude who I worshiped. He was like my art hero. So when they started saying that shit, they're like, you know, they're evil. And I was like, no, they're not. They're like super cool dudes who teach you how to draw and shit. Yeah, you guys are fucking out to lunch on this.

Like they already lost, but if you're thinking, the great thing about being into art is it gets rid of homophobia really early because there's so many great gay artists that you just, it kills it. You're like, this is bullshit. Like when you start to hear this stuff, you're like, you guys are morons. You're studying shadow and you're all the greats. Have you maple Thorpe? Have you heard from shadow at all?

But some people were like, hey, man, I went to PCC. I remember him and I'm like, how could you not? Yeah, for those that don't recall, shadow was a subject, a model, a male figure model, figure drawing model at my art school who was born luckier than most. Blast. Blast. That even, I think it crosses from blast over to like an sexual athlete. Really.

Yeah. Which, how'd you really categorize it? With quite a piece on him. It was, you know, it's a shame that the, that social media wasn't what it was at the time, because I think he could have made a real killing. Like he would have been like an only fans legend. Kind of. Like we're talking like a thigh slapper here.

I mean, girthy. All of it. Yeah. Pringles can. Full Pringles can. Do you ever see it fill up with blood? No, I moved, I saw it move.

You did see it move. Yeah. Well, sometimes models fall asleep. Oh. Yeah. Do they start snoring sometimes? Yeah. Yeah.

If it's a long pose, that would have been me for sure. Well, it's hard. If it's a long pose, you can't get in like a weird position because it will be very painful. Yeah. So a lot of them pick a laying down pose for like the long one, the 45 minute or whatever. And so they just fall asleep.

And they do snore. The older ones especially snore. Do you guys start laughing? Yeah, of course. It's great. Yeah. It's great. A bunch of awkward kids like.

No, it gives a shit about your life, bro. No one gives a shit about your life. See, that is true. That is true. I mean, I give a shit about it. Yeah, you did. You cared right away. Yeah.

Yeah. I just want to let all y'all know out there, watch for Waspies because they'll stain you and then you look like me. Watch for Waspies called Ambulance. But it's hot today so make sure you drink water. It's just another thing. Have a good one. Two, two bits of information.

Fucking Jesus. There's a car seat behind him. Did they get his eyes too? That, I'm just saying that wasp poison is working its way through his whole face. Like, you know, have you ever had an operation on your, on your head? Head no. I've had plastic surgery a couple of times. Have you really?

Yeah. For like, I get skin cancer. So like, there was like a giant hole here and like here. So they have to go to a plastic surgeon to let pieces together so the scars not fucked up. And the last one, he put so much Novocaine in my face because I kept being able to feel it. He goes, just so you know, you're going to swell up like fucking crazy.

Like, I mean, I looked so much worse than him. Like my entire face was a disaster. I couldn't. How long? It's like three days. Like I, I had to go to the market at one point. I took tour and I had to hold my eyes open with my finger with that. I had sunglasses on and a hat and I'm literally like in the aisle trying to

buy like, you know, milk or something. I'm like, yeah, that says out like it was brutal. They must think this is a crazy person. Yeah. I looked, I mean, there's a woman at my market that has, takes an umbrella inside. Like there's, you know, it's, it's, it's silver like, yeah, yeah. So there's, there's some stuff. But yeah, I had to open my eyes with my hand, but I shouldn't have driven

there to be honest. Um, last time you were here, did I show you horrible or hilarious? Mm hmm. So I have some new ones. Mm hmm. These are videos where you essentially tell us, is this right? Horrific. Or is it actually funny?

Sure. So they, they usually are right on the line. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So let's get your vote on this. That's great.

You all right? You all right? Yeah. Yeah. The latter. Good. Did she ask him if he just fell down? Yeah.

I'm good. I'm good. He was out for a second. He was definitely out. I think he's still out. Yeah. He was like, he probably goes, I'm all right. Here's, look, look, look, look.

Is that great? What like humiliation does to you? Ladders of, yeah. Why wouldn't you just take the L and be like, babe? I fell off for the fucking. I don't know what I did, but I'm in shock. Yeah. I was unconscious on the floor a moment ago.

Yeah. Like, and because in 10 minutes he's, she's gonna be like, I asked you if you okay, and he's like, when, when, when did you ask me that? Cause his face, his face broke his fall. He's out. Out. Out, out. You all right?

How did he hear this? You really just fall down there? You good? Oh, she thought, she thought he was fucking with her. You all right? I'm good. Wait, you know what? This is, this is the karma of a prankster.

Is that what we're seeing? Did she go, did you really just fall down there? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's constantly like, hey, babe, can you go and check this out? And he's like, fake bullet holes.

Fake, fake blood and everything. Yeah. They're not together anymore. No, no. That's a decent biff. Come on, bro. You got it. You got it, bro.

There's a whole bunch of people here. Ghost ride it. Pretty cool. Really? I mean, pretty cool. This is pretty advanced stuff here. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. This is definitely cool.

Chillin, chillin. Chillin. So far, so good. Chillin, chillin. Oh, no. Sorry. Hey, buddy, my friends are coming. Uh-oh, fire.

The person, the person hitting on the back of the truck is telling me it's hilarious. What I learned from that person is they've hated that guy. They've hated that guy for years. Kenny finally fell. You're like, hey, Chris, Chris is a dickhead. He always goes in front just because he can do that butt thing. Oh, my God. Thinks he's better than all of us.

Yeah. It's been years. He got greedy is what he did. That's, that's hubris. Yeah. Hubris will always, you're, you're, eventually you're going to get it. You're going to get it. Also, those bikes are just too, there's too much engine for the amount of weight we're dealing with.

That was definitely some fire. Dude. Yeah. I mean, the first bike probably opened up the gas tank as well as most of his body. And then the truck, the truck's just like, oh, we're barbecuing right now. So we're, we're two for two. Hilarious. Look, I mean, here's the third one.

You ready? Yeah. All right. What do you see in here? Look, gymnastics likes ice, like ice skating. The criteria for achievement is just too thin. Yeah. Dude.

Yeah. What do we do? Her shins are under her kneecaps. What do we think broke? That's not just ankle. That's, I don't even. I said this to Nadavadi Robek. You just sent me a day ruin her.

Well, because it's not like you get no greed from her. She's, she's doing this for her country. Do you know what I mean? This is essentially what we see. Right. That's the nasty briar product of nationalism. Yeah. Yeah.

And it's our first horrible. Oh, it wasn't funny. That, I mean, let's be honest, the rehab from that injury is two years. It's, it's a while. Yeah. I mean, it's the double whammy is what's, that's both legs. I got two turned up watching men's gymnastics and I was like, I can break up.

I can do a fucking round off. Oh, okay. And my girlfriend was like, don't do this. Don't do this. And I did it. I went to the ground so fast. Like I've never pulled a hamstring, but you hear about it. Yeah.

And, and I instantly go to the ground and I'm just like, this is serious. This is serious, this is serious. And then when I get up, I go to stretch my leg and it sounds like someone ringing a towel, just like a noise. I've never heard and I can, I'm just now like kind of back to walking normally. Really? Yeah. I have a video of it.

You can't, I can, you can see it, but you're not putting on your fucking show. Okay. But I, it's, I'm laughing so hard because I know A, there'll be no sympathy because she was like, don't do this dumb shit. And I was like, I got this. And then I sent it to my friend that used to do gymnastics. I go, I tried to do a round off. He goes, that's not a round off or even close to a round off.

All you did was pull your hamstring. That's it. Yeah. So it really fucked you up. Oh dude, for real. Like I just sat on an ice pack for like two weeks. Yeah. Oh, uh, he's asking me to change the frame.

No, leave it. You don't like the new merch? I hate this. I hate this. He hates leg injuries. Their leg injuries are bad. Leg injuries are a particular kind of bad, I think. Yeah.

Cause it's bigger. It's a bigger part of your body. Yeah. Yeah. Oh man. Yeah, it definitely sucks. I mean, are you ever going to play basketball again?

Are you traumatized? I would play basketball. Okay. Yeah. But I would do it after they, you know, obviously. Yeah. Not like when I think I should. I would do it after a doctor was like, you can play basketball.

Right. My doctor, not a doctor. If I was your doctor, I would say you can never play basketball. He was just like, he goes, oh, you'll definitely play. And I was like, really? I go, will I play like with the same capacity that I used to? And he was like, I don't know. Also, what capacity are you really talking about?

Fucking amazing. No. Yeah. Yeah. Clearly. Clearly. That was just a bad fucking fall. Yeah, it was.

The way your leg just snapped with no one touching it is a clear indication of strong, strong athleticism and maintenance. Good maintenance is the key. I think the bad thing I did was I didn't jump for like a decade and then I went to jump. I feel the same way about me doing a round off. Like I think the last time I did one, I was probably 18. So we're going at 30 years between, between attempts. His arm locked up under him there.

Looked like Tom Segora trying to dunk a basketball. This was fucking Pat McAfee. This is what I'm saying. Like I love that and also hate it because I'm like, hey, Pat, you don't know Tom. Shut the fuck up. Oh, I know Pat. Okay. I know Pat.

Thanks for protecting me, Kev. Well, I'm just like, it's very nice of you. You know, these people, they show up so late in the game and they're like, it's my buddy, we went and got stakes. And I'm like, give me a break. Give me a break. No, Pat's a good guy. I like Pat a lot actually.

Very funny. Very funny. I did his show, um, way back when, when I got originally injured and it was, it was a good time. They were good. This is what the, the one, I will say the one byproduct of having your friends get like rich and famous is, I, you realize you're just not ever going to see him again because they're like your list of, uh, like hangout possibilities has

now gotten so weird. Yeah. You're like, Hey, I could call Kevin and talk about stickers or Kuali wants to kick it's like, you're, I'm going to listen to the new black star album. I'm going to lose that battle. Cause, and like I should, yeah. Well, no, no, no, no, no, let's, Hey man, look, you don't have to like blue color preferences all of a sudden stickers.

No, you don't. I would know you'd be a part of my Facebook group. You're not. You don't think if I saw your name, I'd be like, dude, dude, dude. Yeah, you would. If you're into art, we are fucking moving in. I do like art. Okay.

Like art. I mean, I don't have your level of knowledge, obviously about it. It's all, I mean, I don't really, but I'm somebody that like, I love, I, I'll go to museums. I'll go to galleries. Yeah. Um, I've, you know, I've purchased art that I like. Yeah.

Um, that's what people should do. Yeah. So yeah. Arts, it just buy, people ask me for advice about buying art. I'm like, buy things you like that you'll never want to sell. Yeah. Don't get into this. Like, is it going to go up?

Like, dude, I've learned this as well. I would say the same advice about anything that's of value. Like now it used to be like, you have a car and then, you know, drive it. I'm like, no, I only pursue cars that I want to own for, like, for years. Yeah. Well, the, the, the, the like hunt is the fun part. That is the fun part. And why would you want to get like the stuff I've bought over the years, art

that's not worth like more money or a lot of money? I don't plan on selling it. And I didn't know it was, it's all just random went up and went. Do you have, uh, art that has gone up crazy in value? Yeah. Some. Yeah. Just because the person, like I bought it really early because I

always, I'm not looking to spend tons of money. So I always buy someone who's new or like, you know, something, whatever. And then they, their career goes on to what you never really know who's going to pop or when it can take forever. Like, you know, the way my art career has changed since the last whatever year is, you know, you never really see it coming. Yeah. I mean, you're in the, I didn't know you're in this book.

Your portraits are in here. Yeah. I mean, that's old. It is old. Yeah. It came out a long time ago. But you have an incredible, first of all, you have a portrait of this knucklehead. Add an asshole.

That guy is right. He was such a goofball. He's a real goof group. That guy. Stalin. Yeah. He's always goofing around. Not a cool guy.

No. But yeah, that's incredible. Like the, the, the portrait man. Thanks. Yeah. I'm amazed. Yeah. I mean, that kind of stuff, I don't know, like anyone who goes art school can kind

of do that stuff. But I liked being part of that weird book. Like I like doing stuff that's part of like a weird, like doing, if I do stuff for like bands or something, that's cool. Yeah. Cause you're like, oh, you know, it's cool. Like, cause that's the stuff I grew up like buying and wanting. And like, if it's the, if it's a good situation, like this is cool.

Yeah. Kids are going to buy this to be fired up. And like wear it and be stoked. Like that's cool. That's cool. Yeah. That's cool to me. Yeah.

I mean, that ability you have to do that is one that, you know, there's got to be some innate ability, right? That you can refine. Yeah. No, no, I always like could. Yeah. Like as soon as, I mean, that's what like, as a kid, I was like, oh, I can do this. Like, cause when everybody will sketch something, especially when you're, you know,

third, fourth, fifth grade, whatever. Yeah. That s, that s everybody does. Everybody's like this. You're looking at, like everyone's trash. Yeah. You're looking at, like, Kevin's, you're like, what the fuck? Yeah.

I mean, like early on teachers were like, see how Kevin made that look? It was like that. Is your handwriting like spectacular? It's exquisite. Really? Yeah. I mean, if I want it to be. Um, even when you just write, like, I can't even think of the word because cursive

and then there's cursive and then there's not cursive. Yeah. When you write non-cursive, is it beautiful also? Well, I mean, I've done lots of type jobs, which to be fair, suck. Type is awful. It's so hard. People that do type for a living, it is the most unforgiving. Cause everyone knows what an R should look like.

Yeah. So if it's not perfect, they're like, nah, you fucked up the parts fucked up. Use a lot of leeway installing. As long as the mustache is right, you're good. You're good. It's like Bill Clinton. It's like the easiest. There's certain like Jerry, Jerry Garcia is the easiest person to draw on the beard.

Yeah. Yeah. I could draw you very easily. Yeah. There's anything like that. But like type is, type is very unforgiving. It's awful. I, I try to stay.

I mean, I don't do jobs. Your cursive is beautiful. If I feel, I mean, I was in third grade and they grade you on your cursive. And I got like a, not that great. And I was like, oh, really? Okay. We'll see you next semester. And then I just made it my mission.

Like, have you ever seen like prison handwriting? Yes. That I mean, mine's not that good by any means. They write all day, huh? I mean, beautiful. Yeah. There was a girl in my high school that got a letter from prison and it was so exquisite.

I mean, that was not a lot of. Good ones here. Those are prison letters there. Let's see. That's just calligraphy. Dear Ed. Whoa. Whoa.

I was in a coffee shop once drawing before a show and this guy asked me to do his girlfriend's name. You know, he was like, Hey, can you like draw my girlfriend's name? And he was like Mexican dude. And I did it. I was like, yeah, whatever. And so I spent 20 minutes doing it and I gave it to him and I could tell he was not that stoked.

Really? Yeah. Because the thing is Latinos have a, like a standard for type. And lettering that is extremely high. Really? Oh, dude. Cause you're talking about low riders, striping, all of it. So like he was like, he was like, yeah, that's cool.

I bet he didn't even give it to her. Like I, yeah, this white boy does some bullshit for me. Like the flower came out. Okay. But like the type, he was like, okay, like there's no way he doesn't have a cousin that would have destroyed what I did. Cousin on the inside. Maybe.

Just got out. Maybe. Just trying to make ends meet. Yeah. Just looking for work. Looking for work, man. Yeah. I could tell he was like, thanks dude.

Like no, no, no discussion of payment on any level. Not even an offer, huh? No, nothing. Nothing. Um, you want to watch some tiktoks with me? Okay. These are from Christina's curations. I watch a lot of tiktoks.

I send Christina tiktoks. Oh, you do? Okay. Uh, maybe one of yours is in here. That would be pretty exciting. The day a bitch can make him leave me alone and stop fucking with me for good is the day I'll take my hat off and salute the hoe. I'm still waiting.

So fucking true because it's never going to happen. I'll hurt a bitch over my juggalo. The American educational system has really failed us for being honest. Yeah. I like the Confederate flag though. I got to be honest. Yeah. Just letting people know.

Big Dukes of Hazard fan for you. I love cars. You love cars. And that's it. There's a very well-known car. Yeah. Someone did a like a Union Army version of it. Yeah.

It's blue and it's called the, you know, the general grant. Yeah. Look, I admire what they're doing and I agree with it, but like, you know, I had that lunch box. I'm not going to pretend I didn't. I regret it now. Sure. But I had, I didn't know.

Boss hog. Of course you didn't know. It's a great show. Well, I was at a Christian function once and the guy, you remember in Dukes of Hazard when they replaced Bowen Luke with Coy and Vance because there was like a contract dispute? No. Okay.

That happened. I, maybe for a season and that one of the guys was like the like special guest acoustic guitar Christian guy at the church. And afterwards I was like, thanks to you. That was really good. And you hugged me so hard because he was like jacked up, like really ripped. And I was like, oh, Coy or Vance just gave me a real hug. Coy or Vance.

Yeah. Here we go. Yeah. They like, they, they got rid of them for like a season and then they came back. The dark haired guy. Look, he's huge. Huge. Yeah.

I mean, look at the fists on that guy. He could have killed me. Punch a hole through your head. Yeah. I mean, think of it with the dance. Look at the, dude, the jeans. Why are the jeans so, look, look at the guy on the rights package. Yeah.

That line's going right up his testicles. Yeah. Like what, that looks like there's, it looks like there's a little phone in there, like an iPod Nano. Mm hmm. Why is it rectangular? It's perfect for examining his balls. Like if you're like, here's your left one and here's your right one.

Okay. Did you leave half a ruler in your pants? I just want to, like, cause you know wardrobe was like higher. Hike them up. Hike them up. Amen. Are you going to wear tight ones or not? Like, hey, you like your job?

Hike them up. Hike them up, dude. What about my balls? Split them. Split them down the middle. Yeah. You can always have one ball on each side of the seam. Just have you picture one guy with a cigar, like you want to get into the big show?

The scroll up, that shortlist photo of them with their thumbs around each other. Love it. Love it. So, the 80s were so confused on TV. Oh my God. Like this, this and the love boat. Like everything was, there was nothing on TV at that time that wasn't vaguely sexual. Except like growing pains.

Wow. Oof. All I'm doing is giving direction. Oh, Jesus. To the connection. Okay. He's giving me the push and I'm saying, I would really like to go over there. Come in here and...

This is such bullshit. Everything rotates. So, I'm going to take my intent and put it out there. But I'm not going to feel like I'm also opening up out of my bathroom. My knees have been pulled to the floor. My head is still trying to go towards the ceiling. And now I take this and I stand out here, but I'm also, when I stand here, I also feel like I'm drawing from my elbow. So, it's feeling like my arms are stretching and they can't move.

So, you're stretching all your connection tissue. That means you're moving. You are moving with such solidity. So, I just go here and then I go here. And that feels fairly natural for me. Yeah, you look good. This is like... You've been really training a lot.

Dick Cheney took Taekwondo while becoming a Scientologist? Yeah, I mean... Do you follow that page, McDodger Life? It's so great. This is a whole world of lies. Of lies, of fake martial arts instructors. And they have like, I mean, there's endless. There's endless footage.

I took Taekwondo in the 80s like every other white kid that's our Karate Kid. And I want to take Ninjutsu, but it was too expensive. Like the outfit was like an extra like 90 bucks, but it was like, fuck yourself. Ninjutsu? Yeah, Ninjutsu. I don't even remember that. In the Valley, they had like, there was kind of like a weird karate thing in the Valley. Because there was like a ninja supply store on Lancersham or something.

Oh my God, that outfit's so bad. It was, dude, Shokusugi movies, like entered, you know, the best. But so I take Taekwondo and the guy who ran the studio, who was like, he said at one point, my dad was in the room. He goes, I wish someone would like pull a gun on me. Because I know I could like stop the bullet or like get out of the way of the bullet. And my dad was like, that guy's a moron. When I was in Vietnam, he's like, that's an idiotic dumbest thing I've ever heard my entire life.

He's like, yeah, you're gonna stay in the class because you're kicking punch or whatever. But like, this is so stupid. Stop it, bullets. Yeah, he's like, he thought he could like hit the bullet kind of out of the way. If you're quick enough, you can try it. His claim to fame was like, do you remember in Taekwondo how like three gray bricks equals one red brick, as far as like density of trying to break him or some shit? Yeah, sure.

So this guy's whole gig was he could supposedly hit six red bricks sideways. And he was the only guy to ever do it in the world. And even then I was like, cool guy. Okay, right. This dojo is going to shut down in like a year and a half because you didn't pay the rent. Of course, this guy too. I keep thinking about how, you know, many wives he's hit. What else is he using it for?

He's not fighting crime. He can't even fight congestive heart failure. He's only punching women. That you know what I mean? That's the biggest key that they offer to kick it one that fits. I wanted the thicker one. Did you get the there was like the thick one and the thin one? I don't remember what I had.

I did. I took Taekwondo seriously. No, I remember that they were moving like you just keep showing up. I think in paying the fees. Yeah, just keep giving you belts. Yeah. I mean, I read about with a black tip, almost a black belt at nine. Yeah, I was like people would see it and they'd be like, oh, shit.

I was a year I was a year away at 11. I remember thinking, I'm not even if I became a black belt, I can't kick anyone's ass. No way. There was like a picture day at my Taekwondo studio. And I remember one of the instructors slicked his hair back to a degree where it was like even I knew he was super coked up. Yeah. And like he took they were like glamour shots, like karate shots.

And then just like trying to get his leg is like perfectly or whatever. It was so weird. So weird. That world was so he's like when I was a weird. This is a weird world and the fake one is a weird world and also how it draws. It has to draw a certain type of person who like if you went to this class, you'd be like, the fuck are you doing? Yeah.

But there's like there's a there's people in this who are like, wow, he's just using his energy and throw. Yeah, they go home and tell the tale. Yeah. They're like, dude, you got to go. It's people that I assume is the same type of person that really buys into conspiracy theories. It's a multi-level marketing situation.

Yeah. Yeah. This is, you know, herbal life shit. Yeah. I mean, I've all look I've always thought that like. I guess I guess he's triply going for some people like for some successful people, learning like athletic fighting is a thing. It's like, it's either for really successful people or you're at the very

bottom. You're like, well, at least I can be tough. Yeah. You're like, I can't, no other tangible skills, but like I will fight you. Yeah. And that I don't know what where this guy, I mean, it's ridiculous. So I want to know everything about this bullshit over here, old pig tits. What he does.

Jesus. Yeah. This shit's ridiculous. That guy just did a flip. I mean, he's doing dramatic falls. Yeah, the, yeah, these guys are doing full on capoeira just to pretend Steven Seagal's kicking their ass. Yeah.

This is supposed to, this is Aikido. He is an Aikido master, but this is, this is nonsense that he's doing. My thing is like, you want to impress me, Steven, take off the head wrap because we know that's what you won't do. Yeah. Look how tired he looks. Look at, why does his goatee have to be that black? It's, it's so, it's.

It looks like it was painted on with a stencil. Like Shepherd Ferry did his facial hair. Yeah. Are you breathing, man? Are you breathing when you do this? Why? Why does it look like you're not even aware? Even there, there are some legit kids that were like, this is stupid.

Is he in Russia? Yes. I mean, I told you to follow, look at this Russian, that account. Yeah, that's great. Tremendous. Great. Tremendous. And they're all applauding.

You think, first of all, it doesn't, most of that audience, they're like, who's this fucking weird, black haired fat guy? Well, I have a feeling that his movies are still big as shit in Russia. Really? Someone had to fly him over there. That's not his dime. No, of course. Like he's like, he's like a, you know, a celebrated, yeah, like member of the state

now, like he, I'm, you know, I'm, I'm slowly getting more into how weird Russia is. Cause it's anything, it's so huge geographically. Yeah. I just watched a thing on like the last lady that lives in Chernobyl or something. And it's like, you can get so weird there when it's that big. Yeah. I'm into it. I like it.

Yeah, it's good. Good stuff. And they all, they all have a dash cam. I am not the real Batman. Are you the real Batman? From the movies. No, no, no. No, no, no.

I just do Batman cosplay when I feel up to it. Um, I do enjoy, you know, cosplay. Um, yeah. And I think we got it. I think we can probably stop there. The problem with this is I look at him right. And I think is that Batman, if I had stayed in Sacramento, yeah, that I'm, I'm maybe him, you know what I mean?

Like, I don't, you're answering these questions. Well, like, I sincerely, I'm only, I don't. I don't come, I don't go back to Los Angeles. I don't go to like art school in Los Angeles. Yeah. I'm just up there. Collecting stickers. Collecting stickers and comic books.

Maybe I start drawing them. And, you know, it just, I, I'm pretty sure people are like, Kevin, are you Batman? Yeah. You're like, I want to come out and make a statement. Yeah. I'm like, I'm tired of answering this question. But like, you know, the wood tells, I like that he uses that voice to tell us he's not having clearly seen all the films.

I mean, I think outfits to me are like, I always wonder if like the weird behavior comes before the outfit or someone sees the Alvin is like, what, how can I basically ruin my brain to fit into that costume and justify wearing it all the time? It's pretty cool. Yeah. Really enjoyed doing it. Fire going. Again, hairline.

Just see how far it goes. Yeah. See how far it goes. See how far it goes. I mean, oh, are those sea slugs? I think so. Oh, this is a treatment. Yeah.

Oh, wow. Guzelik, Guzelik. I have a feeling this is from the part of the world you're interested in. I don't think that's, you think that's Russia? I mean, I don't think it's fucking Phoenix. No, no, no, how, how they let her leave the nose ring in. No, man, that's not safe. That's got to be, that's got to be an island nation where those slugs are plentiful.

That's, yeah, you could be, that's true. And you know what? She just wants Taekwondo, Dick Cheney to think she's pretty and he hasn't said it. He ignores her. He thinks she's fucking a girl at the dojo. So she's just let, dude, those are, that's so fucked. Yeah. Guzelik, man.

Oh no, but that German. Oh my God. Oh, these are the, I love these guys. That chain is so long. There were the odds of him missing or solo. Yeah. Like he would, even if he hit the log on the bottom, they would have fall off. But the odds of him hurting himself are kind of up there.

I feel like, you know, have you seen a whole different type of video? God, what's that videos out there? He just refuses to put on TikTok. Have you seen the video of Michelle Pfeiffer in Batman, nailing the like whipping all the shit in one take? No. There's a shot where she's in like a department store and she's got to like hit mannequin heads off and she does it in one take.

Like she is cat woman and you hear the fucking crew just like, dang. And she looks like Michelle Pfeiffer is cat woman while doing it. It's one of those things where you're like, yeah, there are some people that are just better in the world. Yeah. You're like, you know what, you're, you're tapped. Yeah. You win.

That's badass. She's still. Again, too much land. Yeah. Too much land. Cheap land. Cheap land and like pretend enemies. It's fascinating to me that the people that live in these places, God bless them.

They're so concerned with like their haters and enemies and everyone's out to get them. Everybody, these people all are making posts about like, you know what? Yeah. Everybody out there, I know who's on, who's a friend of mine. If you're not, I'm not going to tolerate any like backstabbing. Like I find it, find out how your real enemies aren't like, just because their manager wouldn't get in the weekend off. Who would have made this video is if he'd done that and then he's walked over a

camera and be like, I am not also the real bad guy. Listen, I know you just watch this video, but here's what I'm not. Captain America. I'm not Black Panther. I'm just a guy, I'm just a guy who cares. Yeah. They're all obsessed with like having enemies and people were out to get them and shit.

It's always people who post that stuff that don't actually have real enemies. It's like perceived enemies. Who has an enemy? Like a real enemy. I know. What do you have to, if you, by the way, if you have one, you probably did some enemy shit. Yeah.

Like who has a genuine enemy? It's strange. Who's like out to get them and ruin their life. Yeah. Well, if you go on social media, be like, wow, a lot of people have enemies. Yeah, I guess, dude. I feel like it's all based in like someone died and they're fighting over the money. You were seeing the people who, oh yeah, that's money's a big one, or the people who

go, yeah, I've been, you know, doing a lot of work and I've had some complications. And people who have not been asking, you know, a lot of people are, haven't had the time to ask me how I'm doing. Well, I'm doing fine. I guess we're letting people know. All right. Fuck. They convinced us that we're all individuals.

So people didn't think they needed anybody. So we all just stay at home staring at our phones pretending it's a movie studio. And it's dark. It's dark. It's like, you know, you should do just join a club. Yeah. Like, hey, go meet people. Go.

Do you like stamps? Like, go find some. That's the internet should have ended loneliness. And what it did was it fucking ramped it up to a bajillion where everyone's just like, no one gets me. It's like, we all get you. You, we all get you. You're sad and you're not as hot as you want to be.

Welcome to the fucking club. Like, yeah, dude, you don't like your body. No shit. Yeah. You pull a hamstring when you're trying to be funny. Like totally. Yeah. Fucking dunk champ.

I know what's up. It's like, hey, welcome to the club of fives where there's a lot of us. It's most of us. You just nailed it, by the way. You nailed it. I think it was all a plan. It's a, it's a pretty easy plan. Like convince everyone they're, they're special.

And then you, it's so easy to divide everybody. Everyone's divided now for sure. Oh yeah. It's the worst ever. Squish that cat. All you need to know is to squish that cat and you just gently squish them. That's not comfortable for the cat or that safe, to be honest with you. It was through a towel in the cat again, squish her with a towel.

What you can do is scoop her up a little football carry, just like that. Butt in your hand and you squish her tight to your body. Just squish them really tight to your body. You don't have to worry about hurting a cat, you know, just squishing against your bodies. And there we go. We just made friends with this wonderful little cat. Look at that face.

Look at that face. No squishing is your best friend. We're dealing with a cat. You basically just lean forward, squish them nice and tight. And again, I'm just squishing them into myself. We always squish that cat. Squish the cat. I want to meet all his exes.

Yeah. And they're like, yeah, you want to know where Squish the cat came from? Here's the police file. Here's the, here's the, yeah. Squish the cat all day. Squish the cat to my cousin. Squish the cat to her daughter. Squish the cat.

Squish the cat, squish the cat, squish the cat. That's why he's not in Florida anymore. He's making these videos somewhere else. Yeah. That's why there's no, no, no timestamp, no fucking location, none of it. He squishes really hard. Leaves a cat. I mean, those are cute cats.

No, I have a dog. You have a dog. I think you just looked at me and assumed I did. I'm wearing a cardigan. Um, let's wrap this up. I want to see the video of you doing the attempted gymnastics. Okay. Yeah.

And, um, yeah, I got something for you too. Uh, we're closing song. Thank you, Kevin. Christy, um, for coming by. Thank you. Always, always a good time. Uh, I track numbers. Watch for waspises.

It's hot today. Um, thank you very much. Join Kevin's sticker group. Watch his YouTube. Watch for waspises. Isn't that the best thing you ever heard? That poor guy. How many days to take ice that shit?

I do. Just watch for wasps. Call an ambulance and waspises get you. We'll see you guys next time. Thanks for watching. It's hot today. Watch for waspises. Watch for waspises.

Have a good one. Watch for waspises. And then you look like me. Watch for waspises. It's hot today. Hot today. It's hot today. It's hot today.

It's hot today. It's the magic in true water. It's hot today. It's hot today. Hot today. The magic in true water. It's hot today. It's hot today.

It's hot today. The magic in true water. It's hot today. It's hot today. Watch for waspises. There's a thing tap me like me. It's awesome! Watch for waspises.

Call an ambulance and waspises. Watch for waspises. There's a thing you can do like me. Watch for waspises. It's hot today. The magic in true water. It's hot today. The magic in true water.

It's hot today. It's hot today. It's hot today. The magic in true water. It's hot today. It's hot today. Hot today. The magic in true water.

It's hot today. It's hot today. It's hot today. The magic in true water. It's hot today. It's hot today.