Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - 640 - Your Mom's House with Christina P and Tom Segura

Episode Date: January 26, 2022

YMH is making NFT's! And you can get yours starting next week with an account at https://Jambb.com! It's Jean Day with your main mommies Tom Segura and Christina P and we get into cool body mods, Enny's incredible DM tip, and open with a cool guy into clabbered milk. Tom notices a pattern with Unk Shine, Christina notices a terrible Southern fashion trend, and we see a cool accident at a factory. Tom now listens to dark film scores, we smell Gwyneth Paltrow's Goop candle, and we dive into cool confrontations. Christina reveals the new way she blows her nose, we learn something cool about Conald Peterson, we go through another round of Christina's TikTok curations, and Tom addresses the recent passing of his father, Top Dog.

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It's like merch. It's like merch. It's like digital merch. So it can be clips. It can be stills It could be music sometimes there, you know with gaming with art. This one is all your mom's house So if you like nfts if you want to step into it The the pack start at $9, which is a great price and it's again create your account now Jam BB comm and it'll drop next week. I'm a handsome woman. So that's cool. That's right Just so you guys know that joke has been still going in our house You like to say even when I'm feeling down about myself I

Like we were having like a moment yesterday, and then you were like, well, you're a handsome woman. I'm like, no I'm like real sad right now. Can you not? Like how funny you think that is? Ready in Chamesh Arba Shalosh Shtah time. Whoa. What happened there? You know what? You forgot you were Christian and that's why you stuttered

Yeah, that's what it was. It was my blood that was Yep, you're right. I didn't like that at all. I didn't like that at all either Do you like that guy? Is he your favorite cool guy? Awesome Are you thirsty? Yeah, watch as you suck this dry. Yeah, I'm these big naps. Yeah, this big naps. He's got those big thick Mm-hmm. They look like pinkies Yeah, that's a fetish where they make them really big really I found a guy on tiktok Just the other day and his nips were super big

He's they're the daddy thing the leather daddy stuff. Yeah, very cool. How long does it take to make your nips that big? I wonder you know, that's a really good question Hopefully we can find out before the episode I'd like to do that Tom. Yeah Did you do it would I do my nips like that? Yeah, I don't think so But I'd really support one of the staff doing it Yeah, well Josh Potter was on his way when he had tiktok on regularly and his tits were changing for sure I mean my nips have changed from having babies. Yeah feed on them

Yep, and you know, that's only what two years of my life Yeah, but imagine if you had a grown man tugging and pulling and coming on them every day Then your nips will change for sure. Just imagine it a Stinky guy Yeah, I mean there's a reason you stop breastfeeding once the babies get teeth. Yeah true But that guy I think you have to chew them to get them You really have to I mean you have to do something to them. They're not just gonna change like that

The nipples don't get like that by themselves. You got to work. Yeah, you got to really work at your nips It's pretty cool. Yeah, yeah, but a cool guy. Yeah Yeah, you can't you can't just go through life with normal nipples. It's so boring it is so boring. I like clamps. I like Get them pinched and pierced Would you do piercing on my nips? Yeah. No, how come? You know, I was just thinking that that's not the favorite part of my body like when I think of Erogenous zones. Is that the word? Yeah, it's like it's it's it's more like whoa Like you don't need to pinch them or pierce them or stab them or punch them. Yeah, I

Don't know. I think it's really a dicey place to get infected Is it? Yeah Why is it dicey? Because if you get your nip infected You don't want your brain on sore for a week Bleed itch swelling discharge. It's not that bad Discharge They might be sore irritated over a few months. It's not that bad. It's worth it to look cool

But if have you ever dated a girl with the nippy a nippering dated? What are you trying to say I have seen them in person, but we weren't you have seen them in person Well, yeah, which one of your horrors in the past. I don't know her fucking name Is she foreign or was she American? Good question because I don't think those southern girls where you're going to college had nip-nip No, you didn't see them but you always saw there was always a hippie chick that had like nose rings That's what they're in here rings and then once in a while What who did I see with a clit ring?

That's so gross Don't act like that who did I see? She was disgusting That was in California Yeah, you're right those foreign the first girl I saw that was was foreign what I fucking tell you dude Yeah, cuz those foreign the European. I'm sure European. She was either nasty as hell. They do what they want She was a very nasty girl and I thought German yuck. Yes, she was Are you being serious? You just fucking with me. I knew it dude. I knew it. They're savages

Yeah, there's also some savage Spanish girls. Some of those girls are real nasty, too Yuck, you know, I had a friend in high school who pierced her nips in 10th grade hot 10th grade that girl would have been very popular in the circles. I ran. Yeah, and she had a boyfriend that was like 18 or 19 she was 15. Yeah, it sounds like he may have encouraged it to happen. Yeah Why don't you get your nipples pierced? 15 year old Yeah, that guy is How did she even find somebody to pierce her nips at 15? He's kind of line-stepping I would say

19 with 15 is a little much. A lot. It's crazy cuz it's four years But those four years are dramatic at that age. They're dog years. Yeah, they're like Yeah, cuz even a even our three and a half year old. He's he's you know pushing into four and you can see the change month to month to month drastically But yeah, could you imagine? No, but getting your badge pierced. That's a nasty girl It's just bad bro. What about your dickhead? I mean, I went I worked with a guy who had it done And I was like in post. Yeah, what? He's like chicks love it. He was like a rocker dude, you know, yeah

He was all that yeah I was like you're out of your fucking mind Pierce in your dickhead was it the whole the Prince Albert and show it to me He had a Prince Albert. Yeah, yeah, why didn't you ask to see it? I asked and he went and show it to you show you my dick And I'm like, I don't think you got bullshit Yeah Yeah, cuz the girl that got her nip nips pierced she totally showed us and yeah And that's the thing though is that now you've got these this hardware in your nips and everybody can see her nips all the time

Yeah, but I think maybe a girl like that wants people to see her nips all the time. No, it's weird I mean, I can't believe you didn't get to see that guy's dick. I asked him multiple times But we were in our early 20s, and I think he was just a little you know shy. Yeah, little gun shy with it That's weird. I'm sure if it was a chick being like can I see it be like yep? And he just that's probably what actually got his dick out all the time. Let me see it now. You got it. Yeah Now you got it now you got it Can I tell you I heard the most brilliant thing from any on where my mom's at this last week This is what he when he DMs with girls his DM game, you know, so they sent can I I'm gonna tell this

Sorry, I figure you're okay with this since we did this on where my mom. Yeah. Yeah, you could tell Why don't you tell him your game? It's you talking about the my phrase Listen to this motherfucker's phrase The one that works every time is prove it prove it works in so many different any situation prove it She could you could be like back what you're doing right now. She's like, oh, I'm getting ready Prove it And what what's she gonna do? She I mean she's either gonna

Send you something she's either gonna prove it or she gonna tell you that you know that ain't what she's trying to do Right, but prove it's brilliant because it's provocative. Yes yet still endearing. Yeah and charming prove it. It's playful Yet demands response. It's demands response exactly it and it kind of Determines how the rest of this conversation is gonna go. It's like this is what this DM is. Are you in or you out in conclusion? in conclusion good work So good, I bet he helped a whole bunch of people it'd be a lot of proof it's out tonight prove it prove prove I know I want any to teach a seminar

Yeah, I'm like that's a good one how to get chicks to bang you and stuff. Yeah, cuz it's not too aggressive No, it's like it's kind of a playfulness to it playful and provocative. Yep. It's the perfect phrase. Yeah prove it Tom All right, show it Keep jacking here. Hold on a second Would you rather get your nips pierced or your dick pierced nipples both if you're saying you have to get both nips or your dick head I think it would suck. I have like You know, they're not they're not made for that mine aren't either minor flat, you know I'm a minor small and they're sensitive

But I don't want my dick head pierced Here's the deal is that but here's okay. Here's the bad thing about the nipples Yeah, is that every time you're at the beach or the pool with your children? Like your mother I People are like Jesus Tom and people are gonna recognize you and like hotels and like Tom Segura's got his nipples pierced Did you guys know that he was in the aggressive gay sex? I would do the Yeah, like the hardware you'd have to get really severe hardware. Yeah, I would get the thing that the chain hangs from

That's what you have to do. It's either that or your dick. Yeah That's too subtle. I don't want it that subtle. No Why would you I want like I want like big door knockers something that hangs from them. Yeah And it isn't that you can get a chain that connects the two, right? Of course you can Yeah, of course you can do whatever you want. There you go. Something like that Can you imagine? I'm just a dad Yeah, like that, that's what I want. I want that by the pool Throwing your kids around in the pool people are like what is going on. Yeah, you think that guy's gay right there?

Yeah, no, I don't know totally heterosexual yeah Prove it. I think he gets laid What's this dick harness look it goes from the nipples and then and then it attaches to a So as your dick gets hard it pulls on your nipples See it gets engorged and then your nipples are bitten tugged on God gays have it the best They know how to party they really do they think of everything would you ever even think of that in a million years? Not until I was fucking a guy You know, it'd be great is when if your dick gets hard it pulls your nipples. Yeah, I mean it's fantastic

That's unbelievable. What is that a full body chain? What do you step on those? It looks like you step on them Do you step through the bottom part of that? That is really wow. It's a sexy body chain Yeah, is it though? I don't know Yeah, ratings look a little low. I'd stay away from this one. Okay This sexy body chain Finally not order one of those All right, let's do the opening clip. You ready? Yeah

Yeah, okay. I'm really excited here not because I have clabbered milk. I always make clabbered milk This is the top part. I'm scooping up. This is the sour cream that separates on top This is the best sour cream in the world But the reason I'm excited about this Uh clabbered milk is because I clabbered it with titty milk female titty juice I used female breast milk to clabber this batch and I never tasted female Breast milk before and I was surprised about how sweet it is Oh

Welcome to your mom's house With tom segura Welcome to your mom's house I Want you to take a shit during my story I God it is your show. You can do whatever you want because that's the one of the privileges of being an adult Do you want to know something funny how much I peed?

Yes, and I was walking past all of our 200 different genders bathrooms and I heard you Going oh like you were audibly Like wow, that's a lot of pee. Yeah, it was so much pee. Do you do that alone often? Yeah, probably. Yeah, like an airport. You're like, wow. Yeah, I'll say stuff. Sure I'll say it to other people in the bathroom, too What will you say? Look at all this pee I'll make them watch me pee. That's cool. Yeah I wish you could do that. God. It was it was like yeah overblown. I mean my bladder was going to explode

What do you think we made fitness this morning you and me? Yeah, that's what it was And you drink a lot of water you hydrated. Yeah, same I think I'm actually dehydrated, but I did go up this morning. Yeah, good for you. Mm-hmm. Good for you. Good stuff Yeah, um, what a cool clip you opened with Uh, first of all, welcome to your mom's house. We have the fireplace going Yeah, and it's a much homeier environment now with this roaring fire. It's so warm here It is warm, which is great because Texas is freezing. Yeah, and this this is the best thing It's nice. It's much colder than you think it would be. I know

All right, we had another technical difficulty, but we're back and let's get into it. Yeah Titty milk on the Yeah, cream cheese is cool. It's super cool And I like that he points out female breast milk as opposed to male breast milk, which is so Don't have breasts Men have their periods and then make breast milk. Like we have female breast milk. Why would you specify that? That's weird to say that. What do you mean? Why is that weird to say?

Would you try this female titty juice of titty juice female titty juice stupid He doesn't that's stupid. Let's see. Well, let's see. Let's see. I need it and they say that we should drink Cow's milk because it's not made for us. Well titty milk juice is hitting and we should drink cow milk. It's all good Ah Mmm, that's sour cream. I just want to taste um Clabbered milk has been clabbered using titty juice. See if I notice any difference the sour cream was amazing But not much different. So this has been clabbered and fermented with titty juice. Yeah, we get it i'ma throw up

Mmm titty horrific Not a lot of emotion in the eyes No He just went mmm titty horrific You think it's his it's his lady's tit milk. I don't know I don't think so Like I don't I'm not one of these people that's like ew breast milk. Obviously I've tasted my own I fed my children my breast milk. I'm not offended, but I think

Clabbered is what he says clotted Like why are you fermenting your own stuff? You know what I mean? Like it's so stupid is and this is the same guy as the um The real meat thing Yeah, the what this is my second Yeah One pound I ate one pound of rib bite raw Earlier I drew some uh maple syrup. He's a pretty fit guy this time. I did got some nice nipples

And this is fucking living optimal. I mean living optimal. This should be so expensive. I get this rib bite It's grass finished grass fed From a local farm nine bucks a pound Raw Really Like where do these people get their nutrition information? I don't know. I mean like he's a fit dude, but like I don't know that seems like this tastes better than cooked Oh

It's like pussy in my mouth. I love eating pussy in the texture of raw That's a nice comparison. It's just like eating a gross pussy Something's got that like little uh fleshy taste, you know, yeah, I love it because I'm a man. I eat meat Is he He's hearing a little speedo too. It's such a strange ranger. You know, he's he's in shape I mean if it doesn't make him sick Yeah, and also He it's a good comparison what it's like to eat, you know, is that right? Is that is that what eating pussy's like a raw steak

Didn't he just say it? Well, I don't know you tell me though. I haven't eaten raw steak. Well, let's do it tonight Both. Yep. Okay Okay, cool. Yeah, it's very it's very it's like pussy in my mouth. Okay Hey, can I do my tour dates? But I mean I'm I'm so like most raw flesh you eat. It's just like eating a gross pussy. Okay Austin, Texas I can't see it February 2nd and 16th, and then I do Miami Miami improv February 25th through 26. Yeah Tampa with the improv there mark 4th and 5th and then back again to cap city and then Irvine in May

Go ahead the board New Jersey the board got a June 4th and the Wilbur and Boston massive huge tits June 5th, and also I do the netflix is a joke Comedy festival in Los Angeles at the regent theater may 3rd get your tickets at christina peon lined up I can't believe how big a stick was Okay, cool. That was cool. Thank you. You're welcome You don't like those plugs. Okay, what? I just don't like that guy the last guy

Why I'm looking for girls for pussy. Why I'm looking for girls But that's what he's looking for. Yeah You want someone else? You would be required to make daddy come. I don't like that one at all I don't like him. Hold on. I don't like him, but I don't like the I'll make you come guy. That one's the worst one Really? Yeah, I think that's my all-time favorite guy. Really? I think more than unkshine Yeah, I think he's pretty right. I mean we didn't get to know him. So I don't know, but I feel like he's do we have to get to know him? I think so Where is he? Oh, yeah, this guy. I don't like that guy at all. Like there's nothing redeemable. What if just hear me out

What if He makes you come I don't care this argument never works on me What if it's a life-altering experience you always go for this you always go for the useful argument and like I don't care if it's useful. I don't I can't separate myself from him. But you walk out of there and like I don't care I won't be able to I've never come so hard and then he's like He takes his teeth out and he just He puts those yellow sunglasses on

Yellow sunglasses. Yeah, he's got that yellow tint sunglasses. Yeah, and Rachel Maddow's in the background You know what it is because I don't think I've ever Had sex with someone I found repulsive. Mm-hmm. So I don't know if I could do it. Yeah I don't think I could start now at you know this point in my life with this guy Yeah with that guy Do you think you could You know Try somebody else. Yeah, I'm kind of coming. Oh, I like I would take Robert Paul any day really any day

I find him endearing too bad. Doesn't like women. It does. I I love him. I would talk to him and He'd probably be a fun hang. Yeah You guys could play dress up. Yeah, look at his dolls. Yeah talk about his mom and stuff like that. Sure Make danishes. I don't know what the fuck he does. Yeah, he likes cake and stuff. He likes cake. Yeah, he likes karaoke He likes jewels. He's giving me, you know necklaces and stuff The sex part might be weird. It might be weird. He might try it. Yeah, I don't know what we would do, but I don't I've seen him orgasm. We all have Yeah, there's no one hasn't seen him orgasm

Maybe you could role play like he would like turn around be like his pretend you're a guy Cool. Yeah, whatever. I'm a handsome woman. So that's cool. Let's try Just so you guys know that joke has been still going in our house. Yeah, I told you you're a very handsome many times Yeah, it's really neat. Yeah. Yeah, you like to say even when I'm feeling down about myself Like we were We were having like a moment yesterday And then you were like, well, you're a handsome woman. I'm like, no, I'm like real sad right now. Can you not? Look how funny you think that

You're really other level today So Speaking of cool guys a lot of women in their 70s are very handsome. I'm not 70s yet. God But now you got me because every time I don't have makeup on and I'm like in the gym or something I look like shit. I'm like I'm always like, is this handsome am I handsome now am I handsome now mommy? Gosh never seen a more handsome lady So you brought this up about unc shine the other day. Oh my god Please elaborate because I think the audience needs to know this which is really funny. So first of all

This man is posting Like 30 to 60 times a day I mean, it's it's it's in the thousands now And he is on a loop. Yeah, it's a cycle that never ends Never ends it goes Hey, he's like, I'm looking at you booty. I want to bite you booty And then it's like it's always they're always like 14 seconds every video And then the next one is I'm gonna eat your draws

And then he's like, give me a draw. Yeah, I'm gonna eat your draws. Yeah, you're so beautiful I love you. I love you my baby girl And then he goes, I'm gonna eat your feet and he goes to her feet And then he goes back to the booty and then he's like you special. I love you and they are And here's what I figured out Some of them he's like, yeah Caroline

I see you in that pink. I see that pink and then he does his cycle. Yeah, and then he's like Teresa, you look so beautiful and you realize he's looking at profiles and posting these And he thinks he's sending these girls these videos He doesn't realize that each of these is just a public post Right. So what you're saying is he's got the fundamentals of a cool guy a the message is on a loop Which is 23 95 master revenue apartment 25 And then the same message and number two unawareness of how social media works So he has no idea that these are public. Oh, yeah

You don't want I want with your fat a I'm gonna pass my tongue in your eggs Yeah, my baby. I'm gonna make you feel good. There you go. So I Tongue in the ass tongue in your asshole Each of these goes off My baby put some red rolls again and some black rolls Yeah, I like your draws. Okay draws. Hey, my baby What's your fat ass?

Yeah, I like them red rolls red rolls. Okay. Yeah, where you draw? He likes the draws. I told you about the draws. Okay. Yeah, r.i.p. Bob sag it You know, I'm in love with the big fetish. You got snow bunny. It's no bunny. My baby Yeah, you my baby. You my baby. I love you. Yeah, keep going Put your ass in my face 14 seconds. Yeah, I'm gonna lay down in the couch. Yeah, 14 seconds. I want you to bounce that big fat ass in my face Someone in particular. Yeah. That's what I want. He's talking to who he's looking at. Yeah That's who he's talking about. Right. The chick that is the profile he wants to be a part of. Yeah

And he doesn't get that she's not loving that fat ass you got right. We get it. Yeah She doesn't get it. You know, I'm loving that big one. Yeah No bunny How you doing my baby? It's a different one. Oh, you got some booty, girl Yeah, you're gonna put your booty in my feet. Sure. Why not? Yeah, mom. I just want to eat your pussy. Oh my god. One time. This is new This is a new one? Pussy one time. We have it. He doesn't usually do like a woman. P. Oh, wow. I call it You know, I mean, look, they're all exactly the same

Yeah, that's like the same photograph. The best is like Oh, let's see In your ass one time Yeah, mom, I just want to eat your pussy. We get it in your ass. Yeah Well, that one got more views. I didn't want to eat your pussy tonight Oh Hey, y'all doing oh, I'm cooking. Oh, yeah, I'm cooking baby all the time I love your mom. See this is one of his. Yeah, his can I eat your pussy? Oh, okay. Yeah

We almost lost the message for you. Yeah, mother her pussy Yeah, I'm a smothered I'm hosing your drawers. Yeah. Yeah, I'm gonna put some holes in these drawers You get some air Yeah With the with the black bathing suit on see I'm gonna eat your pussy. You tell the girl with the black bathing suit on Suck your titties. Yeah, I want to suck your titties Straight up in your feet. You got some blind hair. You got a black swimming trunks on

I'm gonna eat your pussy swimming trunks. Yeah, I'm gonna eat your pussy Okay, and then with that bathing suit. She got a black bathing suit. He's just describing who's I know and can I tell you what's so upsetting for me Is I'm trying to make the like I want him to make these connections So badly and I'm like wait the girl in the black bathing suit doesn't know this message is for her She doesn't you need to tag her how she can know you you want to suck her titties Right. It's like it's just these are like love poems and they're lost in the ethers He's like a Shakespeare and no one gets to receive them. This is um, it's cool. So you can just scroll and

You know, you just pick the same thing every day. Let's just pick a random one. Let's go right here Let's see what this is Happy new year. Oh, that's a new one. Hey con. What's happening my dog? Happy new years, man. This is look take this like man. You play some fire music, man I'm feeling that music. Oh, never seen him have a non-sexual post Oh It's not on brand for him. That's so random Yeah, I keep scrolling here. It's inspired. Look, they're so different

Oh my god, let's go right here. See what this one is. Let's see if this is something Tell me you don't know some G string from draws. Oh, there we go. Yeah, I want to see some draws He likes old school underwear. That's cool Let's see. He's not a young spring chicken. No, no, he's still ramped up at that age. Oh, yeah Listen to the word of the lord. Oh, oh, she is the boss lady Okay, oh, yeah Your daughter is the boss lady. Your daughter. She run the show

That was interesting. I'm not mad. I would have with a big a Yeah, mom and also you can also see where the uh I guess he posts so much. Oh my god. Look at the hundreds. This is also obviously right here This is one posting frenzy. You know, yeah So this is probably 30 posts in a sitting, you know Jesus Um Yeah, let's see a little woman. You got an earring in her nose

They're gonna ask me if I'm single. Yeah, I'm single I want she got a chin in her neck. Yeah, I want her ass I'm gonna eat her ass Every day. Well, this is every single day. Yeah, it's pretty amazing. It's very prolific He um at the unkshine, right at the unkshine. Oh, there's a different one. He's on the street there. Yeah, very rare And that one's got a lot more views. Yeah, and somebody clearly took a photo and he uh He got a new phone

clearly you can tell because the The picture high much higher quality. Yeah. Yeah, and you know how I found out Joe Rogan texted me. He goes, I got a new phone I love it. I love the way he got Joe into this. I know. I love that. He's like how I found out. Yeah Yeah, that's cool So Joe's riveted too. Yeah, don't play no game. Wait a minute. Does he have teeth in this one? Don't play no game with me. Yeah, he's got his teeth in here. No, you're gonna play a game by yourself. On the top? Sorry, yeah, I love you and I want to be with you. He does that a lot too. You're the one You know, you're my yeah, you know as a lady. I would feel

Like well, who do you really like you like so many of us? I don't think I would feel special the oh so rare still photo I like finding these These are obviously mistakes. Yeah, he doesn't realize he's uploading a still. Yeah, they happen every once in a while That's what the old phone. I think yeah Yeah, you can tell. Yeah, this is your quality. Yeah. Oh, yeah, you're right a new iPhone looks great. Yeah, this new one is really good Um, anyway, great. It's like it like I can just go back scroll scroll and you just You click on any one of these and you get kind of the same message, you know Hey, yo, what's that? Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. Yeah, my baby girl. She got a black and white shoot

With some black hair. That's my baby girl. Yeah. Hey my baby So he does like he does soft ones like that. You're my special girl. I love you I love you. Yeah, and then you scroll and then he's like i'm gonna eat your pussy and your ass. Yeah Okay Yeah, it starts off gentle and then he gets more aggressive. He never breaks from the message ever now That's the secret to a real cool guy is to stay on message. Yeah, we learned that from Robert Paul champagne Yeah, repeat the message often 2395 a problem too safe. Yeah. Yeah Uh, what is it 2395? Yeah, uh 124th and first uh east Harlem. Yeah east Harlem. Yeah

Yeah, yeah, you always got to say it. You have to repeat the message over and over which is true That's how advertising works. Yeah. Why is coca-cola number one? They spend the most on advertising You got to put your message out there repeat the message over and over again And Robert has had some people stop by so yeah, it works. It works. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, the only he's got it You know he's got it going on Also in ymh news, we didn't realize that the um, he's like down. Yeah Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah Which is just one of the cutest sweetest clips ever. Um, but a guy killing animals and

Well, it's fine. We we didn't realize this at the time Is he down hunter? Is he down? Is he down? Is he down? Did you see him go down? Did you see him go down? Did you see him go down? Did you see him go down? That's luke brian

Yeah, did you know that when you said when you know, no, I just thought it was like, uh, just a random like, uh, Hunter boner hunter boner and then I started getting flooded dms. Like yeah, did you guys not fucking know that this was I was like, no, I'm not uh, he is a wildly Wildly famous. Yeah popular country singer. Yes. I was dm'd as well and people are like, oh, this guy's like the highest earning Yeah guy. It's pretty it's pretty crazy. And that is so authentic Like how fucking hard he gets at this thing. I love it. He's like Is he down? Is it is he down? Yeah, like he's really about to weep. Yeah, it's so good. This is why I feel like this has got to be a lifelong hunter

Yeah, you know, that's not some shit. He's a country boy And it's funny because at the time when we watched this clip, I was like, I noticed that his teeth were really good I'm like, damn that guy's got like Really exemplary teeth. That that was one thing. I'm like, that that's only like a showbiz thing. But He's named entertainer of the year. Yeah 75 million records So it is crazy too that someone is just that popular and I don't recognize them at all I know I have no his name doesn't know doesn't register. I don't know. Yeah face You could probably play all his songs. I'd be like, I don't know what I'm listening to

And they're that they're that successful Yeah Yeah, he um Man, but that that is one of my favorite clips now. Me too. It's adorable It was the hunter that, you know He saw him go down I mean, he was about to weep So cute. He cares. It's so cute. So much about it

Oh my god. Is he easy to have? That's adorable. Yeah. Now it is him, right? It's not just someone that looks like him It is him. Okay. Oh my gosh Jesus That is so cute You know what I've noticed um now that we live in the south Is um not in texas so much but in other places in the south. You can finally say the n word Thank god. Yeah. No wait, I didn't know what you were gonna say Merry christmas

um Well that too. Yeah, but like that men dress Kind of gay kind of gay like remember we read the aero puerto And like the guy in like khaki shorts Oh that look Yeah, what is that? It's like a it's like a southern dandy boy. Yeah. I'm a good boy mommy. I wear my it's like a southern um

Well-to-do look right but it reads Super gay, but it doesn't read gay like Homosexual it just reads gay like dandy gay. Yeah, it's like the fuck are you wearing? What the fuck are you exactly? You see like the top side like the boat shoes. So what yeah walk people through this look. It's a very common look in the south you're right. It's like um shorts Like to be navy or navy or khaki and then Usually a collared polo, but tucked in with a belt and then yeah, like top-siders right like moccasins

Yeah, and that even that that is almost and sometimes sometimes if you really want to make it the look they'll throw a sweater over the shoulders That's what i'm talking about the arms folded here. That's the gayest look. I can't even take it with the sweater Yeah, mommy. I put I don't put the sweater on I tie it around my neck. Yeah, which is So gay to me No, no, that's not it No It's just who it's so effeminate. No like I'm surprised that southern men You see it is like the well-to-do look this is what separates like the working guys

And like it's like how to to separate your class. It's how you you're dressed So you're you're making a real big statement here like we I am not this I am yeah, kind of I'm a fancy. I'm a fancy I'm a fancy southern boy. It's what it looks like is they look like frappe boys. That's how frappe boys in the south dress, you know, yeah, because like I'm thinking in texas here like yeah, I kind of like that Kind of like that. Yeah, I'm like you get your ass. Yeah, that's a very southern. Yeah But even that's not like that's not as bad We saw the prepiest Adult man and I was like his wife led him out of the house dress like that's so common

It was like a pink polo and then a little purple sweater tied around his neck around his neck. Yeah, and the top ciders tuck I was like that guy was such a fucking boner. Yeah Remember he tried to like pull up and I was like oh boy. He like tried to compete with us there. That's kind of yeah It's just super weird to me. It's very southern I just I yeah as a west coaster. I you get your ass beat. Yeah I think dresser like this and then there those that that guy's like side by side with like the real Working-class labor guy, you know, I mean, yeah, who's wearing a t-shirt and cowboy boots like Legit you see people wearing it's that was like the most endearing thing when I first came here is that

Guys really do wear cowboy boots to work. Oh, yeah, and they're so adorable when they come in your house They take off the cowboy boots before they come in. You know, like it's real. Yeah. No. Yeah, these guys are mega gay I'm so gay, dude Yeah, but yeah, it's that look but then imagine a sweater tied around it's like every 80s villain Yeah, it's like in revenge of the nerds that guy. That's like the preppy villain. It's totally that you're like, oh my gosh People really dress like that in real life. Yeah, I thought it was just in movies and it was very like

cultural And yeah, yeah and regional. Yeah, you see that like that guy. Yeah, we saw that guy that guy Yeah, this is real But it seems like it is regional like if you if that guy walked Into a room in I don't know in LA people Are you wearing the fuck out of here, dude? Yeah Do they beat it but the thing is you kind of see that same look in northeastern preps Yeah, you know in boston and like like the preppy ones would dress like that still I guess is it old school money?

It's people that come from generational money Yeah, because the west coast isn't like as much of generational money southern ones that you see like that a lot of times It's that daddy dresses like that Yeah, my daddy dresses like this. Yeah. Yeah, so they wear the same thing. That's really funny. Yeah. Yeah My mama my daddy my daddy mother and father mother father may I? Um So, you know, my favorite clip of all time is that guy getting hit by a car. Yeah, and Yeah, this isn't as good. Is any here? It's pretty cool. Yeah, he's here. He's right there

Oh Same cool reaction from the co-workers same cold indifference That's interesting. That's a cultural. No, it was pretty funny The lack of alarm. Yeah, my guy's like shit I'm gonna lose my pension It looks like he got hit by two soft big rolls of toilet paper though. Can that really hurt that much? I think that's probably pretty hard Yeah, yeah, that probably feels like cement actually You know that that thing you need

You need that forklift to pick that thing up. Yeah, so yeah, it's probably pretty heavy. I imagine Yeah And look at that guy. He's probably ruptured like six discs in his back Yeah, just lol comes loling over here. Oh my god You're done working pal That is it. Yeah, no more warehouse for you Yeah forklifts are very dangerous. You know, my dad had a forklift business Yeah, uh, he would tell me all the time that guys would get run over

A lot of times people don't know how to use them properly and they they run over people quite often Let's see how fast he gets hit You know, this could be You know what this could be a bad day a coordinated effort to get some money out of the company Between the forklift driver and the guy that got hit He's like you bang me And I will put on a fucking show. You think so Why not? Wow, maybe right? Yeah

Yeah, maybe this is in in china though Yeah, could be they don't they don't do that for workers in china Like don't they just throw him in the river and then the next guy comes in his place Good point. Yeah, I don't care about workers, right? Yeah This is fucking commies They don't care Yeah, I'll give a shit Not in china. Yeah

All right, well, we'll see. Well, this seems like a like obviously there's the The low level factory workers that I'm sure they just throw in the river like you said, but this seems like Probably a little higher level. Yeah to me it does right. I love how nobody cares like if you're so if you're so in shoes together I'm sure they're just like just throw them in the field. Who gives a shit, but If you're one of these Yeah, this guy's worth something. Yeah He might have some actual knowledge. Look at that guy's level of concern. Yeah. Hey, what's going on over there? Yeah, like there's a lunch time already. We think bob's paralyzed

All right Let's go move it on. You do not give a rip. Yeah Hey Well, thanks for sharing that it was really cool That is a good one. Yeah Oh What's what do you like the most? Yeah

Cool, tom I've been listening to a lot of uh Uh film scores, you know, yes, and like like I have a downloaded a bunch of them Oh man that cape fear one. Yes. So good. Yes. I've noticed you've been playing it in the car with the children And they're not too stoked. They're like, we're scared. You know, like it's scary. It's scary. It is dramatic It's scary. Yeah. Yeah, you like that Yeah, that's okay. That's I like dark but not depressing music too. Yeah, I'll be in the bow house Yeah, sometimes I I put these scores on and I just uh

You know, I could just zone out dad out. Yeah, you really been liking these. Yeah, I listen to a lot of them Yeah, we we're in the car together and it's like Dung And the kids are like, I like lollipops. I don't know. I'm scared dad's in a mood And just let you do it like just leave him alone. It's fucking awesome. I know I know because then when those when the when those music like when those scores that are so incredibly like put together Uh are played. I mean It really is an escape. You can picture the dark. Oh, you were listening to I remember we were listening to the the new bond one with

Billy Eilish. Oh, yeah, that's a soundtrack song. Yeah, that's a really good one. Yeah, that's good. That's good Well, that's those are a vibe, you know, yeah the bond like a bond Theme song. Yeah, they're always pretty outstanding. They're pretty great and they fit that there's a tone where it's like they're kind of sexy yeah, and uh Yeah, they set they set up The movie's great. Yeah, because they always play during those like elaborate opening credits They always do now. I gotta not fall asleep and just watch that bond. You should yeah try two times and i'm like Yeah, you're always zoning out, but it's good. It's fun. Oh speaking of

Uh, we have to smell the vagina candle. Okay, let me because you know one thing about me. I love pussy so I love eating steak pussies smelling pussies I'm excited to catch it with this is going with peltrose pussy man. That is very exciting. I know This smells like my vagina. Yeah, I mean, we all know this came out a while ago, but it was High demand to smell it. No This is going with peltrose vagina Very nice really wait, does it really smell like a vagina? It smells like a rich white girl's pussy. Really? Let me smell it

Mmm No, i'm serious in my day. Describe it describe it. No, it's very nice. It's very nice. What is it? It just smells like private school and uh Rich yeah, cunt whips. Yeah, okay ready. I'm gonna give my first cunt whiff someone else Her does not smell like that lies She's a liar pants. It does not smell like a vag What does it smell like flowers? She tricked us. I don't know. I believe Gwyneth. I believe you this does not smell like a girl's vag. You don't think so

Does this smell like a vag? Smells like a nice one guys. What is a vag smell like? Any you know the it doesn't smell like a vag Uh-uh Any what are you doing smelling your finger now? What are you doing? I got a hangnail. It's killing me Well, you want to know what a pussy smells like a vagina smells like what is a real vagina smell like? Oh, jeez. I don't know what to compare it to. It's uh I mean not that not that you smell this. Yeah, it's not this right

He couldn't he couldn't stop himself He couldn't stop him. He got he ripped it open. Let's see. Yeah. Yeah, that smells like flowers. That's a it's beautiful It is beautiful. It just smells like essential oils just like you Gwyneth Oh Man she got us that bitch got us. That's a good way to sell some shit. No kidding I'm gonna say my next special smells like my vagina. Yeah, it looks like my pussy. I'm gonna show my pussy at the end Very cool. Yeah. Yeah, it's my big closer is my pussy It's a good, um

It's a good idea. Good marketing call. You got it. Yeah Yeah, I guess, uh I don't know. What is what a dick smell like? Uh a clean dick smells like soap dicks don't really smell balls have different Range of odors describe them. Well sweaty. Yeah, so if they're sweaty, they just smell like a sweaty part of the body Yeah, it's exciting Yeah, it's okay. It's it's not like oh my god. It's not a big deal. Yeah Um the dick smell it just smells like a like like human flesh. Yeah

You know, I'm trying to think of other dicks besides yours. It's been a long time since I've sniffed sniffed a good dick Um, but some guys balls can really smell bad if they don't wash under there. Yeah, I've had Funky balls. Sure in my life. And that's not cool. No, I was too young Like you and I got together when I was 28. So I you know when you're in your 20s, you're not like Hey man, wash your nut. At least I didn't have that where but now you would now I'd be like, bro You got to wash your balls homie Would you tell the girl if her vagesting? I don't know. That's a pretty like it's kind of hard to come back from that. I think, you know You got to do it. You have to do it a delicate way

Usually with it. You can't use bill. You got a funky ass pussy to some girl, you know No Sometimes people can't help it because they're internal Stuff. Well, yeah, then you just don't call her but I'm saying That's the message. You don't get a message But if it's just like a You know a one-off. I don't know. Yeah, it doesn't matter. I mean, would you tell me? Yeah, that's different. Now you'd be like, dude What's you're sick?

Like you need to go get the doctor. I mean, how strong a smell are we talking here? I don't know. That's what I'm saying. Like if it if it that's the know be something out of the ordinary I guess if it was out of the ordinary I say something. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, okay good Yeah, I wouldn't want you to suffer like what if this whole time you're like you're God, you smell so bad. Yeah. I just haven't told you. You always smell like shit. Yeah Fuck You want to do something about it? You're like, how long have you? Yeah, I'm like Jesus christ. How many years have you not like this? No, every every day every day. I think about how much you smell. Wow. Yeah, cool. Thanks. You're welcome

Um, is it down? Is it down? Uh, oh, I like confrontation. You want to see this? Oh, of course. Yeah, have you ever been broke? No, no, just fucking drive Have you ever been broke? And now you have your own company? I did it's done now. How much will you make this year and hip into your placements? A lot. What's going on, man? What's your business? That's good. Who gives a fuck with my business? All right, have a good night

Who's this guy? I feel like that guy the guy filming was trying to do like a Daniel Mack thing like hey I like your car. What do you do for that? Oh, right? Yeah, and uh, the first guy was really excited to talk about himself Then he told the person driving by like what you fucking drive just fucking drive where she was like, whoa Then this guy's like, what are you asking? He's like, what are you doing with your business? He's like, who cares about my fucking business? Yeah, move motherfucker And it seems like it's like a really nice area Jesus Christ, but what would you say if somebody doesn't know you and they're like, how do you make your money, bro?

Go fuck yourself. I mean, I would fuck your mother. That's how I make this money. There you go. I fuck your mother. Yeah Mind your business. Yeah, like why are you asking me? Yeah I like that. I like when dads get confrontational. You like that. Awesome. Yeah. Why do you like it old guys? I like when old guys talk some shit. It's good. It's kind of funny. It's how it's who should be talking What my business is move on motherfucker. I love it I used to like because my dad would do that. He would yeah, like he was always very disrespectful. I told you when he Didn't like homeless people. Yeah, they had begged for money and he'd be like, come on. Please please Like my dad's very fucking og like that. Like it's none of your fucking business. Okay

Why don't you kiss my ass? Like he really will tell people he said kiss my ass. That was his big phrase Why don't you kiss my ass? Yeah, he was never worried about as a man I feel like when you tell people to fuck off you always have to gauge Physical confrontation. He was never worried about that. I don't I mean he wasn't telling guys bigger than him to fuck off I think it was like I would be like like if we be walking down the street and somebody would try to solicit or like one of these people outside of the Grocery store like come on. Please please. He was just very dismissive of

People that he knew he could be definitely Now my stepdad would start fights with people in parking lots and in movie theaters and stuff Yeah, and and enjoyed the physical confrontation and he enjoyed it. Yeah, and would he actually physically fight people? Yeah, one time in the parking lot of gelson's he got into a fist fight because he told somebody Their kid was crying and he's like, why don't you tell your kid to shut the fuck up? And the guy was like, would you say bro? He's like, are you fucking kid shut up? And then he's like, just take it outside homie like my i wasn't there for this But my mother and my stepdad and my stepdad fucking fought a guy in the parking lot gelson's and corner of recede inventor. Yes

Yeah Yeah, and he got hurt Uh, I don't remember. I mean it was I was in I was like, yeah I'm not paying paying attention and then in the movie theater one time too He told someone to shut up and like take it outside My mom told me to like, oh, yeah, your stepdad fought with some guy in the parking lot. I'm like, this is unreal Hey I know

It's a real psycho, but they they were married for 17 years. It was like a perfect union. It's so weird Yeah, okay Yeah, that's a lot. It's a lot. That is a lot Yeah stuff good stuff I don't know He's always nice to me Really we used to go for ice cream all the time and then he's one time he stops He slashed guys tires on the way to ice cream and stuff like that get back in the car

He was really nice to me. He was probably the most normal of the four parents. It's a weird way to tell the story Yeah And he slashed this guy's tires. He was always nice to me. He really was he was really actually paternal You sound like it actually sounds like one of those um, those mob stories that they have like the real guy Yeah, and they're like, you know, I used to break people's legs and they're like, he was a great neighbor though Yeah, yeah, it's true. He would grill you invite us over. Yeah, that was my psycho stepdad He but he was so nice to me and he really enjoyed me and we laughed a lot and He wasn't my dad. Yeah, I think it was shit what he did. I think that's why because I didn't judge him

I don't fucking care. Yeah, I'm not disappointed and you as a father. You're not my dad Right, you're just a guy that lives with us. He was out of his fucking mind But was a great provider. I mean we had a lot of money when when he was around And then got taken away by the irs later, but for a while it was a good ride I mean, I was assuming he was like real up on paying taxes. No, he didn't he didn't pay taxes for like A long time like a decade and they that's that's when they come after you Oh, fuck you fucking government. Yeah, it's always doing bad shit Yeah

Skipping on taxes is always a you can't do it I know I know a couple people who did that and I'm like I even had the one of my friends one time pitched me the same thing that was pitched. I think to Wesley Snipes Who went to prison? Yeah For not paying his taxes, which was like, oh, you know, you don't actually have to pay them and then they cite some Article online, you're like, yeah, that's not the law. I'm like, no, it says right here Yeah, but says right here. You don't have to pay your taxes. Like, oh, okay

Yeah, it's like when people are like, you know, sodomy is illegal in Oklahoma. Like, yeah, but no one enforces that Right, right. Yeah. Good luck if you go like, you know, you don't have to pay your taxes. Like, okay Explain that to the irs. You do it Yeah I'll keep paying them Yeah Did Willie Nelson do that? Is that how he got? I don't know. A lot of entertainers are kind of burned by that a lot

I think part of it's just like when they're not Handling any of it themselves That's the problem, you know um Ellie Times would post that every year the 10 biggest tax cheats Every year they do it. I'm like, man, that's gotta suck to be on that list I didn't know that they make they put your photo and the whole story Yeah, it's Trump on there a bunch. No

Um, sadly who was on it a bunch was uh, uh, Sinbad No Really? Yeah Oh Sinbad Now, how do they know this? I guess because everybody's tax information is public Um, I don't know. They would they would just do like who owes the most. Yeah. No, it's it's a list It's a list. Oh, wow

Of the it's not an article about it. It's the 10 The 10 tax cheats of the year, I think 10 biggest, um, but it's the LA Times Um When they do it ever they do it every year um Let's see three celebrities on the list of tax evaders there that probably is from one year Um But they always do it man and uh, and it's just people who

Oh a lot It's crazy, but I mean Sinbad was pretty open with it and you know, he ended up doing like the uh TV show about it like the reality he did a reality show He owed that money And I think he I think he paid it off. Yeah, you have to eventually. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He was still like he was doing a bunch of Shows I know he got sick. I think he got he had a stroke or something. Oh, no. He's so funny. Yeah Sinbad. Yeah Sinbad is like

So like he is funny in a way that um You could put him on any stage Yes, this is true. He's a true entertainer. He's he's the og kind I met him when I was a little kid. He was super nice to me. He could do he's one of those guys that could do Uh a set a night You know, yeah, it is it says stroke He could do like a set on thursday and a different hour friday and a different hour saturday and he could he can

Shape it to whoever's there. He's really that good. Yeah, he's funny in a way that um I think appeals to actually everyone people don't know some people don't know how good At stand-up. He is he's really really funny I guess I haven't seen him perform since like the 80s. Yeah when he was really really really popular Yeah, but he's like he's just so likable up there. He really is He was a big does he have sitcoms too? Yeah, he had sitcoms. He was he had movie he had a movie run where he was doing movies for a minute Um, he did he did really well

And the the shows were big, but yeah, I don't pay them taxes. He got tax trouble. Yeah, you gotta pay them taxes dude taxes fucking I can't believe Gwyneth Paltrow tricked us with her fucking vagina can she got us. Well, she got us. Yeah Fucking bitch. Well, I really wanted to smell a vagina candle Yes The sewer is so fun like sorry lord That way hanging in the sewer. I don't know why everybody doesn't want in the sewer like It's so amazing Come join me

Meet my new roommate. It's lola and somewhere around here's patricia. I don't know Patricia patricia Patricia this person is patricia. Are you here in the sewer? With rats Living that life, I'm upset that I didn't find this and this is a no It's totally right up your alley. How the fuck did I not get this one? I don't know I've been slipping. How are you slipping this hard? I know dude. I don't like that. That was terrible, babe You like that? No, I don't

Isn't it upsetting? Yeah, I don't like it Oh, it's not good I mean this person is more than comfortable in a sewer I know and she's got like lights up too Like christmas lights up and how do you fucking plug them in down? I think when you get that comfortable somewhere you start making it your own You're making it tense That's fucking crazy. Yeah, I don't like that. I don't like that. I wonder if this person is down there a lot

Yeah, I clearly she's named rats and shit. I know But I mean, uh, is that like where they inhabit like that's where they sleep and yeah, you think so rats No, no this individual this person then they yeah, I don't know But they have makeup on so they have to do their makeup because you make up in the sewer No, I think I think I think she's doing that thing like look how gross and cool I am and just trying to be shocking I don't buy it. You don't buy it. If you really lived in a sewer you wouldn't look that good with your makeup But aren't you kind of impressed that they have the nerve to handle themselves down there? Yeah, yeah, I do I mean, she's just not afraid of rats. Yeah, I don't know

Can I tell you what I've been doing? And it infuriated your mother when she saw me doing it. Yeah So I was with I was with our kids And I was just like I just woke up and when you're a mom, you don't always have I don't have time to do normal people things if I have to shit I shit with a door open and two kids talking to me. You know what I mean? Like I just I have to do what I have to do I had to blow my nose And instead of reaching for a tissue or using my t-shirt, which I sometimes do

I blew my nose in my hand In front of your mom And she got so upset with me. What the fuck it was a little it wasn't like a chunk chunkers beat it in your hand Yeah, I go like that I'm really grossing you out in the dog. That's disgusting as shit. Really? Yeah That's not normal people stuff. You raised on a farm. What are you doing? Yeah, I thought you guys would be on board with this. Well, I do that in the shower

You go full hobo No, but I also go like it's not rock in the shower, but there's water the whole time But just like walking around. Well, I know I wipe it on my shirt or I wipe it on my pants or something What are you talking about right? Just like it's like clear. It's not boogery or chunky I don't know. You guys are way fucking squeamish. Seriously. This is way nastier than I realize You guys are pussy. I don't ever I want to be clear. I have never seen you do this No, I just started doing it openly. I've been doing it for years by myself and now I came out. I'm out So when I wipe it you wipe it on your shirt or your pants. Yeah, the fuck is wrong with you

Why wouldn't you just do it in a tissue or something because I don't have time to find stop I don't always have stop Stop you had definitely other time. No, I just was like tired and lazy and like I just want to blow my nose now No, no That's silly. I thought you guys would be supportive of my new alternative lifestyle. Hey, listen to me Listen to me This is gonna stop This is not no, you're not you're not supportive of this

Don't do that and don't say I don't have the time I don't Okay, do you have the time to sit on the toilet when you got a shit? Barely. Okay. You have the time to grab a tissue. This is repulsive I can't believe nobody's on my side about this. Of course not. Who would be on your side about something like this? No, Nadav is pretty gross. I was hoping he'd be on his side. I am gross, but like not like that Like I've I've snot rocketed stuff before but not into my hand. Yeah, just like onto a sidewalk onto a street sign

I'm so impressed. I'm proud of myself that I'm grosser than you guys You're much grosser. Yeah That's pretty rad though, right? Yeah, don't I get some kind of props just for being grosser than you guys? But I want I want you to know That it upset your mother and I know that that makes you deeply that does make me happy but that is Something I don't want to see. No, you're not gonna see it, but I won't do in front of you. How about that? Just stop doing it. Just get a tissue Why can't you get a tissue?

I don't know. I don't always have access. I'm just what are you talking about access because sometimes I'm just like I'm just busy. I don't want it. What are you talking about? It's the same reason I don't dry my body off when I get out of the shower entirely. Sometimes I just don't I just don't you don't have access to towels No, I just get lazy. It's just laziness, babe. I know this is not one that's okay It's not okay. I'll try I'll try to stop all right I'll try to stop. I'm buying you travel Kleenex right now. All right, whatever

So ridiculous I thought you guys would be more supportive. No, we're not. It's really gross Okay Oh Yeah, it was really good. She did a good job. She did a good job. Yeah, yeah very impressed. Yeah, I mean, yeah Um, this is something I never thought would happen here, but um the one of the greatest obviously

guys that's ever appeared on this show um He keeps blessing us with content. You know, how do you get a job here? And I don't know. I guess I would have categorized him as one type in certain things meaning. Oh, I think I know where he leans And then something like this happens and it just kind of It opens up your whole mind. You know And we have to give it up for this guy Americans

Hey, man, brother throw them all in prison They needed fucking selling all Americans and divided them To all the fucking people pay all our fucking debts whip everybody's money into their account And paying all off money to pay all of our bills Yeah, just take it from the whale companies and all these stupid hospitals americans. Take it off from them He's a big obama fan. I didn't know that Who knew I never would have thought that no, I've thought for sure definitely other side of their team. Yeah

I'm sick and tired of all you retards dogging out my boy here You need to pay it all off A deep economic price scumbag oil companies and hospitals all their pukes need to be killed This man is the best president we've ever had you fox Wow, I mean You just think you know fed smoker. Yeah, excuse me herk herk and uh Let me drop this on you. That was shocking babe. I had no idea. I would never have pegged him as an obama guy Never

Well, yeah That's cool. Yeah, there you go Just thought I would brighten your day a little really exciting. Yeah, thank you. I didn't know where he was politically I know I know he hates chomos and bad guys. Yeah All you retards. Yeah Yeah, yeah Yeah, it's good stuff. Yeah Good stuff

Somebody said come on herk in that video. Oh that must be in this last clip here. Hold on I love what this man has said about helping these soldiers. You're our best fucking president brother Fuck yeah We're gonna help you fucking soldiers out Wow I imagine all day you're around him. You're like come on herk That's an actual woman. Yeah, that is with him who's like hearing him film himself all day. Oh my god It's gotta be the most annoying come on herk herk. Yeah

Hercules. Yeah. Oh Yeah, herk news. Yeah You always gotta remember fed smokers the car. I forget. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I forget all the time Yeah, me too, man Oh, man, that was so special tom. You always learn something. That's what I love about him He just keeps giving and giving. Can I take a pitch one time? Again. Yeah, okay drink a lot of water this morning. Sorry guys Um, all right. You want to do some talks? Always

Hello, my favorite part of the day. Okay, here we go. Ready? Yeah My foot's getting a lot better It's healing It doesn't look great, but it's doing okay. Thank you and have a nice day No, wait, you're not even gonna So this is a woman carrying a wine down the street like it's a toddler with a tantra I think it's real that looks real. Is that real? It looks like it from here. Yeah, she's carrying a fucking lion that's freaking out having a tantrum in her arms

Isn't that amazing? Yes. Where is that? It's obviously a big city. It's like, yeah, you need jude or titties or somewhere Dude, look at that Uh, I'm going Eastern European. Yeah, that's my crap. That's awesome. Holy shit. Damn, dude. Yeah Yeah, this is like Bosnia or some shit, right? It's like a war zone. Yeah Kind of place you can walk with a lion in here. I know it gives a fuck. Yeah I just thought you'd like that They look like they're dancing and they're not dancing. I honestly have no idea why he does this Um, my working theory is that he's stupid

He's stupid. This is her snake. Yeah, the crawls on her face. She's like, I don't know why he does this I thought that's why you like I honestly have no idea why he does this Um, my working theory is that he's stupid. He's stupid. The snake is down. That's her working theory My work I thought I thought she's cute. Yeah, way cute. Yeah, she's cute. Damaged any your kind of girl That's a prove it kind of girl. Oh no What she'd be playing with snakes? No, we out. She'll play with your snake, too. Yeah She could play with that one. We good Really, I thought this was your lane. It's just the snake thing. I mean, maybe she's all right, but

No snake, no snakes. No snakes. What about you? Would you date the snake girl? Yes, yes, I know you date the snake girl. Yeah, I'd be like you gotta get this thing out of here Yeah, chicks don't realize that that is man repellent like they don't really want your fucking weird snake Especially crawling on your face. My working theory Like she's so smart Because she's a smart one in this relationship, right of these two. Yeah And do you know that yeah for sure and that do you know that snakes just shit and piss on you randomly too? I did not know that but it adds up. Yeah. So like at the end obviously near the tail

They'll just shit and piss all over you So she probably has shit and piss on her face all the time if she's letting that thing do that to her I mean now you're making me not want to date her as much And the snake is in a cage probably on its own piss and shit and that's rolling on your fucking face, dude Nah, bro. Nah big pass. Nah, bro I That's why Is that art

I just thought at first it would be kind of cool. I thought it's it is an art installation Yeah, but it's a car on the side of the building. It looks like it's it's really cool, right? Okay, you like that one. That was kind of arty and informative. Yeah fun fun time I know I like I know somebody who has a similar thing a similar thing. Yeah, who I don't want to say No, I'll tell you later. Okay, okay It's a cat eating kibble where the cat is feeding itself the kibble With his hand. Yeah, the way people do. Yeah, he's going like this Very funny. Yeah, I like that. You like that one? I've never I mean you never see that

You'd never say I've never seen a cat feed itself kibble. Not like with grabbing it with a It's stupid This is a family In a living room of an apartment. Yeah, yeah, and it is I mean a full fucking butchering. It's like they brought the pig in a hole And a trap in the fucking yeah, and there's just a tarp down on the carpet Smells gotta be Look how much you showed this to my mom

But this apartment could have been any apartment we lived in like this could be your neighbors right now Like next door apartment 3d in hollywood. This definitely could be a neighbor. Yeah, just cutting up a dead pig In the living room and then imagine you like you complain. They'd be like, what's the problem? Like we're just chopping up meat. What? Yeah, it's so unbelievable. Yeah. Oh my god You know, this is happening right now too. I mean we just taught but You don't know what the fuck people do. They really know what they're doing too. This is what they do regularly Yeah, they're gonna sell this meat or cook it and sell it or whatever. Yeah This is for the truck

Man, that boy lying with it That boy lying with it Yeah, that's a real pimp at a Memphis grocery store In the grocery store. That's in the grocery store. Yeah, dog. He just found him and he put on a show. Yeah, that was great Yeah, see these are a little more light. This is a very fun one Yeah, this is a lighter feed right now. We got cats eating kibble The guy dancing at the grocery store. I gotta tell you I like this more. Yeah, I figured I thought I'd curate something for you Normal super disturbed sad shit that you like

You're wanting to talk you you played all these awful videos for me today The guy with the forklift getting run over. That was hilarious. Everybody. You like all the evil shit This is actually cool That's not cool The flossers and this guy made them into a fan. Yeah, that's pretty that was pretty innocent. I mean he could just buy a fan, but yeah Yeah, it works. That was cool, right? Yeah, I thought that was interesting I didn't expect it to go there. I thought he was going to lose a finger or something for sure Or something gross is going to happen. Yeah

Well That's it. That's it. Those are my nothing disturbing. Nothing upsetting. You did a good job. Okay. You did a good job. I'm so glad I'm so glad Yeah, so Um, and then before we go you probably heard but uh top dog died my dad He was sick for a few years. He was diagnosed in late 2018 with a blood cancer

I thought he was going to die in 2019, which honestly he really should have with uh He got this horrible infection. He coded which means his heart stopped for like 20 minutes And and they brought him back and that was in 2019 and then he had this um, you know Kind of everything came back and he was in a treatment, but Anyway, I was there for it and it was horrible. Um, but he loved being on the show. He loved being uh The center of attention And I was glad that he was able to participate so much in this stuff. You know, he really loved it

He was a great guy. He really was you guys who listen or watch got to see You know parts of him, uh, that were very genuine. That's that's really who he was But he really was a sweet dad sweet guy And uh, I'll miss him. I miss him a lot, you know, he was yeah, we talked a lot. We talked like almost every day Yes, every day Yeah, yeah It's heartbreaking and um I don't know. I don't I don't know what to say. I think I'm just I miss him terribly already. Yeah

He was I know a big part of um You know people listening you guys got to know him And um, I'm sure you're gonna feel the loss too as we do I think we're still in shock and I know I am still not really Yeah, they catch you off guard a lot. I mean a lot of people go through it. Um, yeah You know being being there for the Last few days was It was terrible. I'd never experienced anything like that. You know being in a hospital room

Just watching someone when they're like, no, you've got to die when you just watch them die It's really terrible Yeah Yeah, but it's also good that you're kind of together, you know Yes, I was with my mom and my sisters and him and But it's still I don't think anything really prepares you for that It was terrible. Yeah. Yeah Very terrible and I'm so I

I missed it. I missed him by like an hour. I was driving. Yeah to I know and then I missed him but he led he led a great life, you know, he led he had an extraordinary life He was uh, he was a really joyful guy like he was very happy. Yes You know that whole thing he'd answer the phone. Hey buddy like that. That's how he was all the time So he was a very happy guy And uh, if you read the the articles about him, you know, he uh, he was really charitable like he ran And organized a bunch of charity stuff giving back to the community stuff, you know

He always felt like that was something you should do. Yeah, if you have the means and the time to do it So he did a lot for his communities that he lived in And um, you know, very accomplished guy very successful I think you've heard me say he's a competitive and champion olympic weightlifter, you know, he was in the marine corps and he was a officer, you know, he's a lieutenant And he um, he did very well in his in his private Business, he worked really hard, you know, we when people don't know like when I was born We lived in an apartment

And um, he just worked his way up, you know, just like hard working guy. It's really really strong work ethic He was a great Great dad, um, you know, very devoted. So Yeah, yeah, it's sad because um He really was one of the greats like I know you guys Got to hear the the silly side to him, but as a human being Hands down Just a solid person. Yeah, he cared about his family above everything. Yeah

He cared for his community. He was a good example He cared for his country. You don't make them the way the way top dog was and You know, I know I talk about my dad being a mania. I can top dog really was my surrogate father Yeah, he'd he'd loved attention So much and uh, it would be funny because a couple times I was with him in public And people would be like top dog and he was like and they're like picture and he was like

Like he was ready for a photo. I was like, how are you? Right, you know, like he loved someone asked me for a picture. I'm like, what's that? I'm like, oh, hold on And then you kind of like, you know, you get ready for it and you're like and then he would go Like ready He's like, yeah, you know, it's nice to do things for the fans Like he's yeah Really like was like Embrace the idea and I didn't get to see it like my brother-in-law told me he was like

You know, my dad was always proud of me even when I was like an mc like doing little shows But he got to go to the hard rock show in october Uh in florida, which was a pretty big show. It was like 6,500 seats It was sold out and he got to go to the show and they were like, dude, we couldn't get out of the aisle Because he got swarmed because people recognized him and he was like, man He took every photo signed autographs and was just like You know living it. He loved it. He loved it. And you know, what's funny is that he was never arrogant about

That you know, like it was it was always innocent. It was always like, yeah, I'm a good public speaker People love me. I'll go away do it and and and his his he would go Like if he gave a speech I watch him give a speech at like A church one so like some conference. He's like, what'd you think of the speech? And I go, it was good. He goes, yeah, I can just do that Yeah Yeah, and he's like, I'm just natural funny people just enjoy hearing me speak

I go, you have way more confidence than I do. He was like, he was like, yeah, you know, people ask me they go How did you do that? And I just tell them I just can't I go people stop you and say, how did you do that? He's like, yeah Okay Well, he definitely was so proud of you Proud of you. Yeah, he was very proud proud of us proud of the show and I think being a part of your mom's house Loved and you know, he used to do loved it. He used to go

I was like, sometimes I would give him a heads up. I was going to call him. Sometimes I wouldn't And then but either way afterwards if I called him, you know, like when we're done I give him a call. He go, how do I do? I was like, you kill me. Yeah, I remember that You like that? I was like, yeah, he goes, I really did shit like that. I go, I He was but he loved being a part and he loved and I by the way I got I don't even know how many thousands of messages from people. So it was very nice. Thank you very much for sending the messages It was um, it was very sweet to read. Yeah, I got I got bombarded with messages. Yeah Um, you know, it's funny because even on the show he told the same stories like the Orlando airport

Shit, yeah And all that and in real life, he would tell all those stories over and over over and over too And and that was really him. That was really Yeah, it's the sweet sweet guy that he was. Yeah, he was he was a sweet guy and um, yeah devastating It's it's such a loss for everybody Sucks the last thing the last thing he said to me he said, um I hate and adopt too and I was like, what? And then he died. Yeah

That's crazy on his death. I couldn't believe it. Yeah I think because he listens a lot Wow, he's like, how can he not google search? That's his last words and last words gone Yeah So we should probably address that at some point, you know, it was his last. Yeah, it was his last words But also, I don't know if If I'm not out of lane saying that you played him

The podcast we did and his final hours We uh, we were sitting around in the room and everybody was so sad Obviously, yeah, and we're all crying and then we Talk and then you cry and then you have a regular kind and you're like Can somebody get some food? I'm like, it's just like you're in these weird moments And then I was I had told my sisters. I was like Individually, I told my sisters and my mom and then I told them together. I was like, you don't understand how much Footage I have of like kind like recorded conversations

Because they know but I don't think they really know. I was like, no, no, no like he called He must have been on a fucking hundred episodes of this show And my mom, of course, you know, she's an old fucking lady. She's like, how do I get it? I'm like, oh my god so I'm telling her like you can youtube and so I show her I pull up the youtube app I just type in like top dog ymh And it's like it's the highlights. It's episodes. Then we did an episode last year, which was like the best of top dog

it was like 584 564 one of those And so I was just showing them and I was like like this one and we started to play The blonde jokes highlights which is like him absolutely pissing his pants at these street jokes these blonde jokes and also

It made me so crazy That I would just I'm reading a street joke. How many blondes does it take to You know change a light bulb and he's like Five I'm like what? He's like I give up. I go just say how many Like I'll just read you the punch line. He couldn't just go what I'm like Like what what's the difference between a blonde and a pollock? He's like, uh, the the blonde

The blonde doesn't know and I'm like, what are you doing? Just say what? He's like, yeah, I give up. I go stop guessing. This is not for you to guess These are just jokes. He didn't get it for like two hours Everything I'm like, how do you know you're in a Polish firing squad? um The guns are they have the the triggers on the guns and I'm like Jesus just say how He's like, yeah, I can't I don't I can't figure it out. I'm like These aren't fucking math questions. Just these are just set up punchline. He did it the whole time

But we played it in the room and everybody was laughing for a minute. Yeah It was funny Which I think is cool in his last Yeah moments that he got to hear himself just laughing and and really enjoyed it and He laughed so hard at those jokes. Yeah, and he also did this thing. We always talked about in our house which was If he was telling a joke he got so excited about the joke That he would fuck it up Every time and he would laugh through the joke telling he was telling he's telling like a blonde joke. He's like

He is And you're like, I don't this isn't I don't know what the funny part. He's like, it's just funny Yeah, that's tough. He was a sweetheart even when he was very sick. Yeah, he was Yeah, this is gonna be a big big void. Yeah big change for sure Fuck. I'll miss him a lot. Um, all right. Well I think I'm uh Done talking about it today. Okay um

Anyway, I think my dad would like to hear men from jail by mica Acre bold, of course he would. Um, all right, that's it. Thank you guys for watching. Thanks for listening. Bye Oh Do it do it do it Look at the hard guys and we didn't want to do it do it and from jail And from jail Oh

Do it do it do it In front of jail Like us black black black guys Almost like a kiss on me Almost like a kiss on me This song that's beating right out. This song that's beating right out in from jail in from jail FUCK FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK This song is beating right out, this song is beating right out, this song is beating right out in from jail in gobierno

FUCKMAR DO IT DO IT DO IT PAH PAH PAH PAH BOO PAH PAH PAH