Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - 648 - Your Mom's House with Christina P and Tom Segura

Episode Date: March 23, 2022

The third leg of Tom's I'm Coming Everywhere tour is here! Get tickets at https://tomsegura.com/tour and use code TOMMY to access the pre-sale starting Wednesday, at 10am localAre your jeans pulled over your head? Tom Segura and Christina P open the show on a really special girl who isn't like other girls! Christina reveals she has a new kink that she is unwilling to reveal, we talk about Tommy Lasorda's SlimFast commercials and commencement speech for Tom's confirmation, and we discuss Netflix's "Inventing Anna." There's a #YMHexclusive about real bidets, Horrible or Hilarious gets kicked up a notch, and we discuss completely insane amusement parks with dangerous rides. We welcome baby Zollo to Austin, which means the entire crew is now in Texas! And we finish off with taking a look at Christina's most recent TikTok curations!

Hey guys, the third leg of the I'm coming everywhere world tour is live right now Go to tomcigura.com slash tour for tickets and use the code word Tommy Mmy for early access see that's harmless. It's a palette cleanser. You like it. I wish you would have saved this For I wouldn't put this one. I would put this down there You know, but here's why it's an exceptional. You always usually depress everybody. So you have this after that I know, but you know, I didn't make this like a misdirect like oh, it's gonna be a fun ride And I know it's like no, it's not. I Know that's awesome, buddy. No

Right jeans jeans jeans jeans jeans want to move in you can move in you gotta fuck Welcome to your mom's house podcast. I'm Tom. I'm Christine Christine Free rent you can listen a cake. Fuck me. Fuck me. Um, can I say something? I like your shirt. Thanks It's kind of a vacation dad vibe. It is kind of a vacation dad shirt Well, we made you choose that one today. I don't know just going through my closet and you know I took a couple laps around it and I was like, what will I wear and pick this? I like it you're wearing a different color You don't like it I do what is that it's called fluorescent green

It's kind of a callback to my youth. This is what the kids wore back in the day I wear this as a kid You don't like it. You don't like how the green makes my face look green No, it's cool. It's cool. I like the sweater. I like sweaters. Sweaters are good. So comfy. It's so comfy cozy I hate where I wear tight shit and then you know, it doesn't feel good all day I'll tell you this Austin weather is something. It's totally unpredictable. Oh, it's like 80 today and then last night It's fucking 40. It's just wild wild. You and I have been getting into building fires though lately I really enjoy it and it's so much fun. How stupid that is primal takes over. Yeah

Yeah, cuz we were at dinner we were we went on an overnight mommy love trip. Yeah to a whole lounge Yeah, and at dinner I was like, let's go back and make a fire and build the shit out of it and make it bigger And you were like what crazy train you I saw the look of doubt And then we got there and I was like see put another one in otherwise It's gonna go down. You don't want to go down to you put another one I got obsessed and then you keep building that shit building that shit like this fire Burns really don't burn your hands don't burn your hands. Yeah, but it was I know it's so much fun

Fire is the funnest Yeah No, you're out there today Just make a fire somewhere You know preferably in a fireplace and a fireplace. Can I tell you the best part about my childhood is that my dad? Oh, we used to have a fireplace and then when I was like eight years old He would build a fire at night and then drink a lot and then pass out And then I would get to play alone with the fire. That's pretty cool

For hours and I was so young and I would just throw everything in there, you know, yeah marshmallows newspaper I just wash I'm I'm really surprised. I didn't burn the house down. Yeah, you know, then again taught me how to respect fire It's kind of good that my parents were negligent, you know, I mean I went to high school with an arsonist. Really? Yeah, he served Real time in a penitentiary. Yeah, what did he burn down? Oh? Public property libraries I think you mean like berries like berries. Yeah Wow, so that was his thing. I made his dick hard is to burn I guess so he was a real

So she awkward. No, he wasn't a child. He was a very awkward guy in high school. You knew something. You knew something was off Yeah, I mean just like you just were like, you know when you there's people you're like that guy's just fucking, you know He didn't have normal social skills But but notably, you know, like he couldn't talk to you and stuff Oh What pyrophilia is a relatively uncommon paraphernalia in which a subject derives gratification From fire and fire starting I like that. I get that it is distinguished from pyromania By the gratification being of asexual nature

But I don't think most arsonist are necessarily You know pyro Yeah, they're not like getting boners doing it. I think this is awesome. It is awesome. I get it I would light lots of fires too. I I feel like if I were a lawyer and I were prosecuting an arsonist I'd be like I get it. I get it. Yeah It's a good cry Hey, that's pretty good. Yeah All right, well, let's uh

Let's pull our dicks out here and pull your dicks out on my face and pull it pull it pull You ready? You're gonna like this one like you don't like the way you look. Basically, I'm looking for you know a babysitter They'll come on the weekends and watch them. Wait a minute. Yeah, I'm your girl Aren't you gonna have kids of your own? No, I don't think I'll ever have any kids. I'm really not that type of girl Really I'm surprised. I'm sure a lot of guys would like to knock you up. Gosh. Well, that would be a Christmas miracle And what kind of girl are you let's just say I'm a special girl

What are you retarded? I was not expecting that I I Yeah We need to talk about the artwork That was pretty cool set up for the porno The fucking best one I've ever seen and now I want to follow all this person's work these people's work

And also I like how they have to really draw out the dialogue like how stupid are the people watching this? Like how many times does she have to be like? No, I'm not a regular girl. Like I know you're not a regular girl No, I can't have a baby the queen. No, her voice is a little deep Well, I was you can tell a difference between my voice and her voice, right? Please do not use gender language. I Cannot tell and also I would mind if you fool me once I would that's a good name of a porn for me once. Yeah, I would I would be like really

Oh, you are you not ready to reproduce? Show me You would so you'd bang this check? Yeah, yes, I would like ideally I'd like to not know get fully around I mean like ready to go and then have her be like, oh oopsies look at my dick, too, and I'd be like, oh, it's too late So it's not your fault. Yeah, I'd be like, I mean I'm about to come Yeah, yeah, you can't turn back now. I can't what am I supposed to do pull my pants up? Yeah You know, that's true. That takes away all responsibility. Yeah, and then she'll be like, yeah, I'm basically a girl. I'm like, yeah, you are Yeah, same deaf right does Burt like transsexuals like you're a girl

But you're like way cooler than most of them. Okay. I mean that's basically what it is Well, that's it's a it's a it's a girl with like a cool disposition. Yeah, I know I get it. It's a girl That's really a guy. That's why it's so She knows how dicks work and I get it. I get it. I wonder what this person's a Twitter handle is so Listen, I asked you a question what does Burt like a transsexuals as well. I don't know what he likes actually I don't know if he likes that. I don't know you guys don't talk about that on two bears We haven't talked about actual trans

I didn't know you're into transsexuals. I didn't know either, but this is a really cool clip I used to have a comedy friend that was really into this I think a lot of male comics are and He would send me clips and I'd be like he and he would write like wasn't that hot? I go I didn't watch it. Yeah, he was like why I go because it's not my thing. Yeah, he's like dude It's hot and I'm like, okay to you. I was like, I don't I haven't watched this man. I'm not watching this What's not hot? It just at that. I mean at the time now. I just switched. Yeah at the time I was just like this doesn't do anything for me

But it's obviously a super popular genre, I mean, I think it's one of the Well that and so in India we did the story where my mom's at that there is a huge They talk about this already on your mom's house. I don't know in India they they're analyzing the Google searches and a lot of men are searching for breastfeeding like adult breastfeeding And it's become a big thing. That's another thing at my dick would just go Hope so Me neither and that's a night. I hated breastfeeding to begin with but then have your big ol bearded mouth on me And they talk about the men talk about how it suits them

And it's like a ritual at the end of the day. I think I can see that how it's comforting Yeah, but like it's a lot. Yeah to just you know, yeah, you guys can also just hold hands and watch Netflix, you know Well interesting, I mean definitely Breastfeeding is not not for you. Not to get off on. No, it's not sexual Tom. Yeah, right It's never sexual They claim it's not how kinks work. I mean, there's just yeah, there's a hundred out there and you're like, yeah 99 are not doing anything for me. And then you find that one special

Special thing. Yeah, my god. I just had a crazy. What remember last episode. We were talking about the new Victoria's Secret model Yes That could be somebody's kink course. They're only into I got it You don't have to share anymore. It's all clear now I've never even thought of it before Wait, is that a category like when you go to Pornhub or whatever? Don't think so What's your kink, what are you into? No, I'm just kidding. I'm not gonna tell you I'm certainly not gonna tell the YMH audience

How are you not gonna tell me? I'm gonna tell you in private at times, but not right now All right, I'm on the show You were floating one the other day and you wouldn't tell me about what the cast of euphoria. No about like a Kink like a genre and you're like, you'll have to figure it out Yeah, because you're like, tell me. Yeah, tell me told me like it was like in the morning I just woken up and I was just having my coffee And I was in a pajama Now I can see how your brain works

When was it? It was in the evening. It was in the evening. I was all tired and stuff When was it? It was in the evening in bed and you'd had a drink and you were like, okay, you got the figure out out Oh First of all That's Maria you're like when you like to know Like I'm not just gonna tell you you have to earn it I did not say it. Yes, you did. I did not and I'm not just gonna tell you Okay, I'm not I'm not Cuz it's more fun for you to have to guess a bunch and then you know, maybe I don't want to share actually, okay

You want to keep his secrets? Fair enough Your mouth is big. I realize that I have a big tongue. Jesus It's a huge beef tongue. Yeah Oh my god It's like a full person in there. Okie-dokie. Yeah, who's got a bigger mouth? You or Bert? I think Bertrand. He's got a big-ass head too. Yeah, I thought I had a big head his head is fucking enormous Yeah, and it's growing

It might be the rest of them is it is no his head is bigger than it used to be Yeah, his whole body's growing He's so big He's huge His stomach now is like, you know, like an old football coach where you're like you see that gut. You're like that's not going anywhere Yeah, it's just like so solid. Yeah, it's so big and so solid Yeah, it's hard. It's a fucking hard belly. It's like um, tommy lasorda. Yeah sort of in the dodgers Uh, you'd see him doing commercials and everyone would call him tommy lasagna because he's so fat. Yeah

This is a good telling. I'm sorry. And then he was the spokesman for for weight watchers. We're weight watchers are one of those shakes Right wasn't it the shakes? He looks fine there. Yeah, he got real there he goes That was at his height. Is he still alive? Oh, he's dead 93. Damn. What was the name of that shake? What was that shake? Look at tommy lasorda weight loss endorsement type in shake Is it neutral system? Maybe it was that what was it called? Is that Slim fast

That was the crate. It was like a national name It was I you drink you just drink a shake for breakfast Yep, and then you have a sensible lunch and a sensible dinner. That's right That was the the plug and I love the taste of slim fast. I drank that shit like in college Yeah, high school's chocolate shake tommy lasorda gave our confirmation speech What? Your confirmation confirmation is the equivalent to a bar mitzvah. Oh, yeah, except nobody gives a fuck in catholic church

like they don't care and So you go you're like 14 14 or 15 And it's supposed to be like you're you're now an adult in the catholic church So I was in vero beach vero beach is where the Dodgers used to do spring training So, uh, he would go to mass so would Mike piazza a couple other, uh Dodgers and so I mean confirmation class, which is as boring as you can imagine. Yeah terrible. Oh, you know JC did this and this fucking

Angel did that and you're like, yeah And then I mean it's bunch of people like kids like this like Sitting there just listening to this shit whose parents are making them get confirmed. Yeah And then they're like, all right, so confirmation is you know, saturday or whatever and we show up like The seven or eight of us that are in that and then tommy lasorda walks in and stands at the podium and he's like This is a great day for you. You guys are doing a great and he gives this speech about it. We were all like, holy shit

Mm-hmm Tom you saw us giving us this speech And um, yeah, he was really nice like met all of us and was it a thin tommy lasorda or a fat tommy lasorda? He was kind of big kind of Not like huge, but you know kind of big just reminds me of that show we're watching inventing anna Yeah, and she's in her she's the the pregnant journalist goes to meet her in prison and she goes I have a question for you She goes, are you pregnant or just very very fat?

I was like, oh, I think I love this person. Yeah, you know was um You know what I loved about this show though or have have been enjoying so much A lot of times when you watch a story and you know things about the story and it's misrepresented In the in a movie or a show you're like, I wish they just did the real story This show Invents all kinds of stuff. Yeah, like may adds all types of characters and plot lines and everything and it's fantastic Yeah, it adds so much to the story. It's like my first time I've watched something and I'm like Thank god they took the liberty to embellish and exaggerate and create storylines. It's so much better

Yeah, it's super fun show. I I'd like to know what the true story is the characters are just all fantastic Yeah, it's the Ozark girl. She's great. Yeah, Julia Garner. She's great. Oh really good show. That's the real That's the right right there. Yeah, she looks like her Doesn't look happy there tom. No, let's see like let's see the cast compared That'll tell you how some of these characters are completely made up anyway um All right, so that's garner and Anna delvy

um Okay, that's the Defendant that's it or the defense attorney All right, let's see here Samir Oh, so that's based on her boyfriend chase Uh, don't remember him. He was the actor who played

Chase Corsi isn't a real person We were able to really do is the chase is in fact based on a real guy who's given a ted talk Amber profile by the new yorker and named hunter Lee Soik or sock. I'm not sure. Does it go down anymore? Explain who he is at all? Like was he oh It doesn't really tell you that much about her and uh Chomsky's vivian kent as jessica pressler. I guess that's who wrote the piece. I wonder if she

Oh a fictionalized version who wrote the new york story upon that she's still with new york I wonder if she was actually told not to write the story like they portray. I know I mean Honestly, I didn't need that whole Yeah storyline, but they get all the story lines just give so much Like weight intensity gravity. Yeah, but it always bothers me where like Somebody wants to do something that we all know would be a really good idea and the boss is like I don't think so it bothers me I hate that. Yeah, I'm like just let them do it. What's the big deal lever and cocks?

But they're not telling us in these in this thing right now whether or not the person that's based on actually knew You know Anna You know, I mean, it's just saying it's based on okay, but was the real person a friend of annas. Yeah That's not it's not explaining that it's kind of silly. She says she's a mystery. Oh anthony edwards So that that's a character fictionalized version of the real-life lure who was working with her. Okay That makes sense That guy anthony edwards has done so many shows and they they just credited him with revenge of the nerds

Yeah, which is I'm sure not his Proudest favorite credit like you guys you can drop that since then you can drop that he's done so much work I know you ever do press now and they're like hey, you're on this morning radio show and you're like that's from 12 years ago I don't care. I don't need you to put every dumb thing. I've ever done But that show is great. Yeah shout out to I think is it shonda rimes shonda rimes name who I think created it Lee and rimes the country singer. Lee and rimes sister shonda. Yes Yep There she is

Yeah, yeah, yeah Created and produced by shonda rimes. Yeah Yeah, we're really well done super fun. So I have a ymh Exclusive you've been teasing me. You're like, I'm not gonna tell you what it is This is a ymh exclusive So, uh, as you know, we've been dedicated to the toto washlet 350 e for quite a while now A washlet and the washlet is different than a bidet

right it's um You sit down on the toilet and it's just a little thing you put the seat that you install and then it sprays your asshole with water And you just sit and you should as you normally would easy peasy leaven squeezy now This last time I was in Miami. I got to use a real bidet Have you ever used a real bidet? I have Well, let me tell you I had such high hopes For this bidet because I thought this is ground zero. This is the originator of everything we love Now the problem with the bidet

number one I went to turn on the water and it splashed up into my face because it goes so fucking hard And I was like, uh, and it was all over my hair. I got toilet water all in my hair all on my face Yeah, and then You have to squat that's what how are you supposed to do this? Traditionally, I don't like you're supposed to shit In the toilet right and then are you supposed to just like shuffle over? Is that the idea?

That's what I don't like is that then I have to shuffle over to a whole other apparatus You keep your pants around your ankles because I was worried like do I have to get completely naked to do this? Yeah, so then I Pull it you can pants can be around the ankles and then you sit now That's if you're doing a number one cleanup what she's oh my god people do that I face with my back. I was facing with my back towards The plumbing or whatever and it's so messy Oh my god, and it's so horrible

And splashes everywhere. It's just a disaster. Oh, this is good. This is an illustration Okay, she's taking a big shit. Okay, is she shitting or yellowing because those are two different cleanups. Let's hope she's shitting. Okay scroll There's the bidet. That's what I'm talking about. It's right next. It says find the bidet. That's definitely find it. That's great Yeah, well, I guess if you're googling, how do I use one? They're like you should find it first. All right There are three are many types Uh standalone in europe. Yeah, I've seen those Okay Oh, I think that's if you're doing

I don't think so. I mean It was so yeah, you have to straddle so you look she had to take her pants. Yeah, that's what I'm saying is so impractical That's what I'm saying. I've shipped before with those next to me. I'm like, I'm supposed to take my shoes and my pants and everything off I've just go take a shower then. I mean come on. Okay Make that bigger. It's terrible. This is a nightmare and scroll to the to the type here Straddle if you're wearing pants, you have to remove them I mean, why not just take a shower? This is like taking an asshole shower and it ruins your whole outfit everything You may want to be

You may the way you face may dictate the position of the jets Uh, let's just say if you need to clean your front, maybe you should have faced the jets if you're cleaning your rear Right facing away. Okay. See so you have to switch as a woman. That's the way That's the way to do it. See in this way you there's settings for a woman and man. Yeah So it's so much easier. You don't have to get up move to another apparatus. I don't think there's a better feeling Then that jet stream coming into your assholes. It's the best like after you make a dirty chocolate It really does you feel like oh man, you know our three-year-old has been using That's fucking insane

That kid is so you a hundred percent he'll be like I gotta go poo poo I'm like, oh, okay, and he does it just to go in there and let the water spray He doesn't ever poo poo. He just likes the spray on his butt. He goes am I clean? He loves it Yeah, this is so stupid. I really that's cool. Yeah, it's a nightmare and then and then literally the pressure is very vigorous So I splashed Added water everywhere all over my hair all over my face It was terrible It was terrible. It was a bad experience and I was I had such high hopes for it

I was like finally I get to I get to experience how like my ancestors did, you know Yeah, that's how I was doing it because I made a brown Yeah But I didn't fill the bowl with water That's not right either something there's shit water right under your cooch. That's not smart The position you're squatting you want the water to hit the air you need to clean of course You have to squat over that Oh my god

Oh, it's so hard. You just sit directly on the rim. Oh, that's what I did and it still was just not comfortable I was like, I don't think so. There you that's what you want. That's what you want. You want that spray right up your hole Yeah, and then and then you put a nice lady's tongue back there afterwards Okay If you're nice and clean You have to use soap too for the day Okay Well, that's uh, it's quite the exclusive. Oh, yeah, this is how you dry. I mean, who are these instructions for a fucking victoria secret model?

Oh Any more You know what? I think that's how we're gonna have to This is the whole new thing we're doing now. It's like a she had victoria secret. Are they so victoria secret or what? Yeah, that's so victoria secret. We're gonna have to start saying that we're gonna have to Oh

Yeah, so Yeah, I'll tell you something. I got to show you I had the boys Oh, here we go Pull some wild videos. Oh You want to see of course This is in the horrible or hilarious genre. Excellent. Ready? I'm ready, mommy

Whoa, that was fun. It was fun. He was really on fire. Yeah Good thing they did it by that lake. That was pretty good. That just saved his life. I believe I believe that man would be in a deep deep trouble if he wasn't by the lake So he was trying to hit a golf ball that was in fire or just hit the fire. No, that's stupid. Okay What'd you expect dipshit? Oh my god Yeah, yeah, I mean that close Or just burns right to you. I mean he took a swing with a golf club and like

It all caught up on him. It like exploded on him. I don't know who's hitting that reminds me of the time I was with the kids and I have one of those long burning logs that you use like the starter logs Yeah, yeah, and I threw a heavy log on top of the duraflame and it went Like it broke into all these tiny little pieces and the flame came up and engulfed the real wood. It was fucking rad That's fucking cool. Yeah, bro You should have recorded that shit. I know. Huh shit. Fuck. She was so fucking fired. Oh, it was fun Bro, check this shit out. Yeah This is fucking rad right here what I'm about to show you don't even know. Let's see it, dude

Car tiny car pass up this truck on the right here. Uh-oh. See where this is going. Uh-oh He's like you don't pass me He smashed that tiny car. He's in a very dramatic and severe way. Fuck that looks like it's in england Yeah, it looks like the driver of the tiny car might be I'm not doing great right now, right? Pretty sure. Yeah, I don't think he's gonna do too well after that pancaking of his car. Damn I'm glad you think this is funny

What part is funny though, like I mean it's fucking completely smashed. Yeah I'm not loling. Are you guys loling in there? No, I was trying to convince tom to stay away from these kinds of videos But he really insisted that this is funny stuff. Well, I didn't know which ones you guys picked I said some were funny and yeah, I told you we were looking through the account and I was like a lot of people die in these And you're like not all of them. That's right. That's right. And those are the ones I want to focus on Okay Did you not think that was funny? Okay, let's uh, there you go. See horrible. That was so horrible

Say horrible horrible those horrible. Okay, and that's what I thought too. Let's go to the next one Here's a car That That was horrible too That was horrible that was really bad for people listening. What did you see? I don't want to say We're gonna go straight to hell for that I saw somebody lose control of their vehicle at a high rate of speed and then the car hit a concrete wall and literally exploded

Let me make sure I got it right Wow, I don't think it's a well-made car. That's what I took from this. I think that's a poorly made car probably russian Definitely russian. Okay Okay Let's See what's next here. Here you go This is uh, oh Oh, no, no, no, no, no

Why did you play that? Why did you play that take that out? That was terrible Take that out. I didn't know it was either. That was terrible You can't show that So that one's not funny. No, that was bad, dude. Mm-hmm Take that out You didn't edit that out, right? Yeah, that was that was terrible, babe Just don't even just don't show it. Yeah. Yeah, we'll keep your reactions in there

I'm so depressed. That was horrible. That depressed me too. Thanks for sharing tom Um You're just bombing me out This is mostly zolos fault. He got here and he was like hey, I want to make a splash. All right So what so did he put this in here? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? What's going on? Josh? It's his idea Um, are you okay, buddy? Yeah, just just fucking take it easy, man. All right Here's another one. Maybe this one will be better Oh, fuck the tramp. There's always a trampoline injury. She's

Okay, that wasn't so bad. I thought we were gonna see two legs break That wasn't that bad at all That wasn't bad. You know, I think we've learned on the show is that trampolines fuck people up so bad That was the least fucked up. We've seen somebody though. No, that that was okay. I mean, I don't like seeing her do Watching her back break on the rim of the trampoline. Okay Jesus fucking I don't know if this is gonna be good or not. The description doesn't look so good. I don't want it. Ah, here we go Oh, that's that's that happens every day that hurt that definitely hurt though that hurt But I can tell you this

He's fine. Yeah, he just hit the pole vault. What is that high jumping? What did they call that stupid shit that he's doing? Jumping over a stick. Yeah, that's high jump So he just hit the stick. Yeah, he didn't hit the stick. He hit the pole that holds the stick. Yeah, okay, so the steel one Whoopsie. Yeah, that was pretty loud. Yeah, I heard it. Yeah, he's not happy about it. He's done that before though He knows what's up with that Wow, shit, man Don't I don't like this

Put anything that's too much in here. Okay I was I was trying to make the case for it. They're like, hey, here's an instagram account like dude None of this we could show like we're gonna have to we're gonna have to put this in a channel members again That's not true. There's not true because I found two of our horrible or hilarious is in there two of them two All right two out of like a thousand posts. Yeah Yeah, they kind of buried in there, but I'll tell you what this segment has really turned into a coin flip Like uh, these aren't all funny anymore, which is kind of cool. Well I didn't enjoy that I didn't enjoy these none of these are good

None of them are funny. This is old tragedy. They should be called people being injured tragically And you laugh every time you are so mentally ill the only funny though the truly funny one I loved is when the That 70 world was being rescued from the helicopter and started spinning really fast. That was funny. That was a good one Because you know, they were okay I don't think she was okay after that. No, not at all For sure she went unconscious That one made me LOL. I mean that was she probably needed like a lot of treatment after that

Yeah This is not like spinning in a circle. Look she passed out For sure Yeah, so today for sure. She thought she was dying the entire time Oh, yeah, you think you're dead especially because you're injured level of panic. You're already injured and you're so vulnerable Oh god I make it stop. Yeah. Yeah This morning

I know on uh, it was an instagram or tiktok I found this thing of like five awful things that have existed before and in new jersey in 1986 They built a water slide at this water park. Yeah, that went down and then did a full loop No, I think I thought oh you sent it to me. I just sent it to you probably because I had music under it and it was like A copy written program. Yeah. Anyway, it was a fucking water slide that did a loop-de-loop and spit people out And it hurt so many people And broke so many bones and they're like we paid our employees a hundred dollars each if they would try it

And they even went in wearing like helmets and like yeah protective gear They said but they did the test dummies it decapitated some of them Because they're like we realized that not all body types could get the momentum going to make it through the entire loop Also, it mentioned that people were coming out with um, feeling nine g's of course I think that's like fighter jet level like they're like That's a thing. It was a dramatic drop. I mean a really steep drop. It's new jersey. Yeah Loop-de-loop. Oh, you're going fighter jet. Yeah Oh, that's scary, but um, but this goes to show like you trust that these amusement parks amuse these are amusement parks

This wasn't just like Some crazy gypsy setup. You know by the freeway thing. It was a legitimate park. Yeah that they are protecting you They're not guys Yeah, it was fucking. I think that's an action park cannonball loop. It might be it action park We come at That's it. I bet Well, it's not that one, but it

Let's see if this shows the loop-de-loop Jesus It's quite distinct if it comes on you'll be able to tell right away It's just it's just a steep decline and a loop A water slide. Oh, there it is. There it is. That's it. That's it. Look look look. That's it Yeah, it's a fucking water slide nine g's coming out And people are breaking their arms and shit like How much fun is it if you survive that thing if you survive it's great right of your life

That's what it says at the side at the top you survive. You're gonna love this Yeah, I mean shit. I even get nervous on cruise ships when they have you just look at that I mean, that's a big fucking drop, dude It's under the fucking ski lift. Oh, that's what it was. So during the snow season It's a ski resort and imagine a kid like an ls size kid. You probably could have that thing like 70 miles an hour Dude else would love this Fuck yeah, dude The loop-de-loop so funny. Oh man

A fucking water slide. It was open for like a week And they reopened it for like special events and then the state was like you need to shut this thing down forever I know so what happened was too is that they discovered that people were getting stuck in the loop-de-loop certain body types couldn't make it Certain they said on the article or whatever and so they built an escape hatch at the bottom They could just like plop your body out because people were getting stuck. I'm in here I'm in the bloop I'm in the loop Yeah, I like the bloop

I'm in the bloop The bloop part Oh, fuck. That was fun. Yeah Well, yeah, speaking of fucking Russian shit back in budapest. I used to go to uh It's called vidan park. It's like the one amusement park in budapest and it's all done like during the rush of soviet era Is it really nice? It's so good There was a roller coaster

Oh, yeah, it was called vidan. I think vidam Anyway, there was one roller coaster. It's probably better now. Yeah, there it is vidan park. See vidam park There was one roller coaster. It doesn't even stop to let you on it just slows down and then and You just like the person's that whoever's on it jams out you jam in and then the bar doesn't even go over your lap It just stays out like this That's i'm pretty sure that's it's like an old soviet roller coaster. It's so terrifying and the ruskies made it Yeah, like, you know, you can really die in a russian park vidan park. You're hungry to close

There it is. That's the one I was on. Yep. Yeah Good stuff. There was a super fun, dude. It's so scary king's island, which is outside Cincinnati is a Was the amusement park and they had a roller coaster called the beast And for a long time it had the steepest drop in the united states and it was just all wood So like the rest of the park had Had rides that were metal and steel like you're used to seeing yeah, and you're like this one's wood Yeah, that was that one too

You know, it just you you're on it and you're like, um Yeah, and they tell you like don't put your hands up and I was riding this thing when I was like eight You know, oh, you're you're terrified at that age. You're terrified. I mean that drop is really significant Oh my god Yeah, and it's got a loop-de-loop too. That's terrifying. That might be a different one some of the beast Yeah, the be okay, because that's just a shitty wood. It was the largest drop Maybe that is I don't know It was the largest drop for a while

That you could go on in a roller coaster I mean you realize it. It's just humans building this stuff You know what I mean? This is just idiots building these things idiots like you and me. Yeah, just regular people They're not hit that hit that one time hit that wikipedia. Oh, fuck Yeah, a wooden roller coaster. It's in mason. Um, yeah, there's one right open in 79. So yeah, that's why 79. Yeah It is still the longest spanning 7359 feet across 35 acres Jesus two lift heels contribute to the rise duration of more than four minutes

Which also ranks as one of the longest among roller coasters. Oh, wow. Yeah Wow four minutes is a long time. It was designed without assistance from scientific calculators and computers Issues discovered during early testing delayed plans to build an enclosure over the helix finale until 1980 Um would often overhear his constructions Uh cruise. Oh calling it a beast of a project. She credited that with coming up with the ride's name Uh, the record breaking roller coaster was well received at a press event Preview held The beast has consistently ranked in the top 10 wooden roller coasters in the annual golden ticket awards. Yeah

Wow Remains one of the most popular rides having accommodated over 54 million riders. I wouldn't ride that shit now What's the uh, yeah g-force 3.6 and that thing on that video said that that that fucking tube was a nine Yeah I mean and and like texas has wild shit like that too. Yeah, yeah, where they're like, well rad at your own risk I've heard stories of them having like, you know slides or whatever the shit. They don't care If I can die on it, it's your problem. I'd tell you what I'd rather witness than an awesome roller coaster No

I like that Drive-thru and you know what you're the customer. You're right. Yeah, the customer's always right. Yeah I love it when a woman freaks out. It's so special when we have women doing it. It is different. It just hits different Is the kids it does it does hit different? Yeah I enjoy it It's not for the first place because I got him hurt, bitch Now figure that one out Call corporate bitch because I got your attorney's number already

You know, it's interesting about people who claim suing. They never sue. They never sue They're usually the brokest motherfuckers do they have no idea how much a lawsuit costs to file. They never do It's so expensive. It's almost equal. It's I would say it's similar to the people who are like, I'll fuck somebody up No, you're not No, you're not gonna get it. You've never done that. She's never filed a suit. It's so expensive to go after somebody Yeah, you ruin yourself more than you do the other person usually. Yeah. Yeah What could you possibly be this angry about at the mcdonald's drive-thru? Cold cold mcmuffin or something. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, every time I see mcdonald's though. I want to eat it

Wait, but seriously like don't I just see the colors and I get like, oh, I want to eat it There's something in that shit, right? I haven't had it I know But hot fries so god But when you're cold, you're right once they turn cold It's the worst they smell like garbage too in your car and especially that that food If you had a couple drinks Nothing better

Nothing better Yeah, there's certain foods I can only eat just that's how you did What if when you get to heaven they're like the thing about it up here You're always going to feel a little drunk, but there's mcdonald's everywhere Pretty cool That sounds fucking amazing 24 seven But the problem is is that you feel sick immediately after you do but that doesn't exist in heaven Oh, that's that is heaven. That's the whole thing. They'll you just keep eating. You don't feel sick. Oh, I like that

Like I can eat as much taco bell as I want Dude, the last time I ate taco bell was like 2010 yeah was madison wisconsin I drank all this red wine and then I went to taco bell And I eat a fuckload of taco bell like two in the morning I've never felt that sick in my entire life. It's so gross a stomach full of red wine and taco bell It was vile taco bell is made to make you shit. It doesn't make me shit though. What I don't caca from it I don't man. It doesn't it doesn't diarrhea me. You do. You do. I don't know. I was agreeing with christina

Well, I think just I've been feeding it to my body for so long. He just knows that a process Yeah, I do now. It's really it's really nice, man. No, you throw salad at me. It gets fucked up. Yeah Chipitopoli too. I no, sorry chipotle makes me shit violently Um, mcdonald's doesn't make me shit. No, you too. No, it doesn't affect it makes me feel nauseous after I eat it But it's worth it because it tastes so good. I don't feel nauseous after it I do I go from hungry like I'll be super hungry and then I go to nauseous like oh, that was not good Yeah, I think I don't feel good mcdonald's breakfast. How good is that? That's the best in the world

When they finally got their shit together and they're like order breakfast all day. It's like All they do now. Yeah for a few years now, but I mean there was that time especially when you're Grinding out those feature weeks you're on the road and you get up at noon. They're like, mm-hmm. Yeah, you can't get it Yeah, you're like fuck Cut it needs to cut it off at 10 30 or something You're always sleeping in, you know, you're like, I just want to eat breakfast, man. I know. Yeah But that's stupid. Now they do it That's good

Are you being serious? Yeah, tell us I think ryan someone here was telling me that they were trying to go to a mcdonald's. It was you Uh, yeah, I mean apparently any uh was trying to get some mcdonald's breakfast and uh, they're like, yeah We don't do that shit here that stops at 10 30 That is worth suing that is unamerican You should sue them I would sue the many McDonald's doesn't have good lawyers sue them

I'll go I'll go threaten them right now. Do it man a little bit drive go stand in a drive through and tell them that you Just fucking ask Yeah, I don't even sell hot sauce. What the fuck? What the fuck? There it is I had their apple pie though. I talked about this before it sucks dick now. It's not it's not that good fried shit It's like all healthy and yeah, it's bullshit. I like that styrofoam in the hot grease kind Yeah How about there a sundae?

Oh, the sundae's off the chain. I remember when I was pregnant with ellis. Yeah, there is three things I was always eating carls jr The western bacon cheeseburger extra onion rings extra barbecue sauce. I would pull over and eat it in the parking lot That's three times a week twice a week in and out Doubles double meat patties animal style fries. That was the other that was two days week And then at 11 o'clock this is before we this is when I was pregnant first Remember I make you drive me to mcdonald's and I would eat a hot fudge sundae at like 11 o'clock at night I

Gained So worth it though fucking worth it I I ate exactly how I wanted to and then later they're like your cholesterol is a little high Yeah, and if we had breakfast, we'd also have second breakfast second breakfast dessert for breakfast. So good And you feel good. You look good. You feel good, you know, I felt great I had trouble bending down, but it felt good Um pee break. I got a pee. Okay Ready mommy and five

No Hamash Arbaa Shalosh Stein Yeah, I mean Zoll's got to understand when you speak so How was your piss

Fucking great. Yeah, I needed it. Yeah, um, I was just saying When you were pissing is that I feel so much better with jargezolo here I feel like the alchemy of this this team is back. Yeah, you know, like I felt I I feel settled now knowing that like all of our our victoria secret children are under one roof All the models are here. Yeah Yep Are we cutting that out? All right, I feel very well represented. It's true. No, I like representation I feel better that that everybody's here under one roof now and we have new additions. We have you know, chad is here

He's smarter than chris That's and ryan undeniable. Yeah, that's wild chad bodied chris. Yeah Chad reads Uh heavy books too on the weekend. Like he's a reader. He's smart. He's from academia. He shouldn't be here No, he's uh, I know it's rad. It's great. Great that he's here. Yeah But I like I missed I didn't realize how much I missed having jargezolo around just feeling his energy Yeah, it's part it's part of the crew. Yeah, you gotta have them here for sure Yeah, I'm glad he came here and left all those fucking jays in LA

I don't know that was just a really cool tone Yeah, tom. I'm glad that my friend is here There we go Guys who are so tight What's your problem left fucking jay central and came out to oh my god, that's so funny I didn't realize how many jays were in LA until I came here. I'm like now you can breathe, right? Love the jays Stupid

Okay, is that how you feel? Yeah, like finally god so frustrating What did they stop you from doing everything 19 years? I was around that shit The jays the bees the fucking m's Where I gotta get out of this shit. Yeah, yeah, Alaska's too far. That's where I was Alaska a lot of drunks a lot of angry drunk guys beating the women up there I remember that when I went to anchor and can I go? Yeah, but they're nice people generally you did anchorage A million years ago. I did anchorage Alaska before we had children in in a January And it was you know 10 in the morning and the sun had not come out yet and people were going to church

It was fucking it was cold. Let me tell you I just booked it anchorage. Yeah, wow when I don't know if I'm allowed to say when but I just booked it. Um, is it is it a time when the aurora borealis might be visible? I don't know when is it visible in anchorage? Um Vintage out of times dude, can I tell you one of my I so want to see the aurora if if it's that time I would go I'm dying to see that you know that I know that tom. It's a bucket list and I've grown up all four seasons. Although they're hard to see Under the midnight sun the best time to see them in between august and april

That is not when I'll be there. Oh fuck nuts so That's one of my also there for one day. Oh not worth it. Well, I wouldn't make it a trip then Yeah, um It's beautiful. It's really pretty. The weather's kind of a bear Very weathery. It's very snowy. Yeah, but upside You know white people white people and natives was this, you know, not so much of everything else

Oh No, it's true. And they um, they they pay people to live there because the climate is so rough I can pay me man and not oil oil rig workers and stuff. I'll move there tomorrow work racks on tomorrow Just to get away from all these different people just to get away from all this culture and inclusion diversities Oh, I was gonna tell you when I was in uh, Miami I saw so many Hasidic Jews. Really? Yeah, it was Miami has a real heavy Jewish community

I did not know that. Did you know that in Adolf? I didn't know that. I know jews love florida They do bokeh generally But that's like old jews. Yeah old jews, but Miami just has The whole spectrum. I did not realize there are humongous cities Yeah, there were but there was like the guys with the curly cues walking around when the whole the whole outfits and the the wives at the What do they call the curly cues? They call them payas. The payas. Yeah, like the real real real j stuff. You know what I mean? Not like poser jews, but real jews. Right, you know, right orthodox

Yeah, I was surprised to see them in Miami. Miami's like Sodom and Gomorrah. Like you chose here. Isn't this like an unholy Not cool not cool family place. Were they wearing the the thick coats over there, too? Yeah, damn It wasn't too hot. It was like 80 Which is not it's all right. They don't come off in a hundred either. They don't Do you just stay sweating that thing? Why do you have to wear the heavy coat? Uh, I think it's all just like as a sign of a respect thing to god. It's like Yeah, it's all that is a rough city to wear something like that in in

Like for like six months of the year Because once you get into april You're fucking already you can feel it. It's not the worst part yet June july august september october are goddamn Yeah, insane when we did the the live show out there. It was my first time in florida Anytime I went outside my glasses would fog up And that was in may it wasn't even cooking yet. That wasn't even top tier suck. No No way

But you got that rain in the afternoon and just cool things wash it away. Yeah And you feel that rain and and you just feel oh ain't that refreshing I do love an afternoon storm time a nice shower I'm excited for those come summertime here in uh, texas. Yeah, it cools you right down because it goes all the way down to 105 Yeah But then you'd think that the jews should go to alaska because then they can wear their outfits without worry What without I know that just took a turn. I didn't expect that's all well. I was just thinking for them I love the element of surprise

I'm thinking like miami or alaska. There's your camera. Watch your toes. Okay. Listen acidic jews If you're listening, no, I'm not gonna tell them how to dress. Okay guys. I'm doing stand-up comedy I'm going to shortlet north carolina April 1st and April I don't like that sound is that a woman being killed or I don't know what's happening to her April 1st and 2nd. Okay. And then I um, austin stateside paramount I'm part of the moon tower festival april 13th may 3rd one night only at the regent theater in los angeles I'm coming back. I'm coming back Acme comedy club and mini apple tits

Oh Thank you. May 6th and 7th and then sperm vine california may 20th and 21st the borgata june 4th in atlantic city new jersey and june 5th one night boston massive huge tits at the wilbur Okay, april 12th 13th cleveland, ohio and then nashville, tennessee in october tickets at christina p online dot com Thank you for sharing I like that guy Yeah, I found a new show on the disney channel. Yeah, I was watching with the kids This fucking psycho pulls snakes like pythons out of their holes

Yeah, I walked in on you watching this in australia. It's so good. This guy couldn't see where he was reaching. That's the creep He's like, I think there's one in here and he puts his hand under a rock. He's like I think this is a python. He's a really dangerous and you're like the fuck are you doing man? It's so good. And then he pulls it out. He's like, I can't let this thing bite me He's like, I didn't really hurt a python. He's like, this is australia's most venomous snake. Oh my god. This is the the crown jewel Now he's a disney channel. It's not on disney. It's on disney plus And it's a guy in australia. I wish I could remember the name. Is that discovery? No, it's on disney plus snake a snake guy. He's australia

I'm gonna poop there How much you have for lunch? There he is Jack randall and this guy's out of his fucking mind out of his mind He's a true like outback guy. You can tell he just grew up. Yo comfortable with snakes comfortable and then They're in like no man's land in the northern territory where there's like no people And he's like i'm trying to find snakes at night and he takes off his boots and gets into a fucking swamp Barefoot and feels around for snakes and with his feet and reaches down. Oh, I think I got one

That's what he does and he's he's great. He you know, it's you can't train to be this guy You know, I mean you're just this guy. It's not an act. Just like urwin was so into it There's like one guy every continent who's like this, you know the guy who's like what tarantulas? Snake guy. Yeah, yeah, he's that kid You remember he has good steve urwin steve urwin vibes where he's enthusiastic and he's like he seems like a good dude Yeah, so it's yeah, I think steve urwin was this week. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. Yeah, so this is this fucking kids do that Yeah, bindi urwin. Yeah Bindi and who's ever forget the boy's name. Yeah, that's pretty wild. Um

Yeah, well look it's been a minute. I don't know if you're into it, but I mean Your uh tiktok curations take no days off. No days on no chill. I always see researching working Whenever I walk by her in the house, I see I hear like Yes, I was giving the kids a bath And when did you say you're like, oh you're doing the lord's work? I see I see that I saw some guy like pulling a tooth out and I was like Well, look you have your horrible or hilarious and I have my tux. We each have our lane Yeah, these make me smile

99 of the time. I don't think everybody feels that way, but yeah, I can't can't imagine. I mean All right, you ready? Yeah. Okay. So tell me what's going through your mind As you recall this curation I recall this This one see that's harmless. It's a palette cleanser. You like it. I wish you would have saved this I wouldn't put this one. I would put this down there. You know, but here's why it's an exceptional time. You always usually depress everybody So you have this after that. I know, but you know, I didn't make this like a misdirect like oh, it's gonna be a fun ride And I know it's like no, it's not

I know what it's awesome, buddy. No Okay, um, but what I like about this in particular is that it's um an older person Figuring out a fun thing to do on tiktok. Yeah, it's like an older Immigrant lady, which is always better than just like cute. Sure little white chicks. So I like that element. I like that too Okay, that's pretty funny I didn't know they really did that that feels like a setup, right? That seemed like too perfect I don't think you could train a goat to do that. I mean that dude's friend is an asshole. He was filming the whole time Let's see from the beginning. I mean that thing's set like it was perfect

How would you train the goat to do that? I don't know but he also seemed to fall perfectly and I don't know It was And also he's not hitting it Well, people don't always beat animals tom like you do. He's not hating it. That's your I mean I think that happens to you. You're like, I'm gonna fucking kill this thing right now Maybe it's a cute animal and not after it does that it doesn't do anything. You can still fuck you up a little bit Maybe but I try I would be trying to kill it right there

I think you should just try hunting I do I think you might All right, let's find the hunter is he down guy and he can take you out Luke? How fun would that be and then he kills something and he gets so stoked I love it. Is he down hunter? Hunter is he down? Yeah, this is your this is your specialty This is exactly what I'm used to God damn. Oh

It's so crazy, right? Yeah, a lot's going on here. I'm pretty sure this person's in the hospital You mean Anakin Skywalker with his fucking helmet off This person's figuring out tiktok. I'm not sure what to make of it. I guess I'll post this I guess I'll put my glasses on first and then post Fantastic. Yeah, that's rare hard to find actually. Yeah these like is this my first time on tiktok? Kind of hard and special. I wish you'd give me a little credit. Yes. Good. It's hard to find these first time Shit

And I'm pretty sure this is Eastern Europe too and that's just a house cat, right? Yeah, that's like, uh, what is it a bobcat? Kind of or what is it? Minks links and it's head cut out of a sheet. What it is Um, definitely Eastern Europe Kind of looks like it with the ears, right? links I think it's a

Bulb cat. Yeah links are bobcats. So they look similar very cool So walk into a home with that It's head is cut through a sheet It's so bizarre ready to fucking rip you apart. Look at this thing. Look at this reaction. Hey Oh my god, I mean is it tied down under there I hope I want to make a cool tiktok with your head through a sheet and the things like I know I would just run fucking a man

Yeah, you think that's Eastern Europe 100% definitely. What? This is this is my nice kitty cat. Yeah, fucking pussy. We had another cat, but he's ate them There's that account. Look at this Russian You're seeing that. What's that say? It's a carackle Carackle. Okay. Well, let's see where that's from carackle Um, there's a an instagram account called look at this Russian. Yeah. Have you seen that? It's so funny Oh

Who knew that? It's pretty Chad. Zola. Zola Maybe you need to have a new smart off. Wow He googled it. He googled it still But can I tell you what what Josh Zola was really smart at he's very resourceful Yeah, like he knows how to get the answer if he doesn't know the answer and quick It's almost like he should be googling all the time. Yeah Yeah, we we can make that change if you want. Okay. Um, um to the next one here Don't you look at me like that. What the fuck?

You remember this lady, right? Uh vaguely we played this video. Oh, you have? Oh, well, but it's been it's been a long time That's a little fresher. Yeah. Yeah. She's really upset. She's very angry. She's not feeding the cat Well, yeah, because I think she's she's really watching out for that guy's cat. Probably probably Fucking asshole. Yeah, I do like seeing I've never told anybody this before like Anybody in 2014 during a depressive episode I spent 87 dollars on candy crush Who hasn't done that that's good like who can't relate to that during a depressive episode Like you're expecting like a real confession

But 87 dollars on candy crush it's that's a lot because when you think about the buys It's like 99 cents maybe a dollar 99 maybe to go to 89 dollars on candy crush. You're fucking depressed. Yeah It's a lot of bad work. Yeah. I mean, I remember it was like every flight for a while, right? Yeah You take off the whole flight connect I mean it was It really and then they get you because they're like you can't play for another 27 minutes. You're like, I need to play You know, I know why do they do that? Why do they stop you from playing if you don't pay?

It's just like you can play but you have to wait so it's a way to get it's like tapping into your you know impulse You're like, no I gotta play now Yeah Fuck faces Anyway, I thought that was really cute. That's great because like the shame of that I remember like a depressive episode when I graduated from college Where I was just in between worlds and I stayed inside And I played puzzle bobble all day every day until

6 30 p.m. When blind date would come on with Roger Lodge. Yeah, and that was my whole day It was the most depressing Time of my life like I wake up at 11 start the puzzle bobble Wait until Roger Lodge came on 6 30 and then like watch more tv and do it all this was when After I graduated from college. I was like 22 or 23. You have like no idea what you're doing None and I was unemployed. I was just trying to figure shit out. I was so depressed That was your fix That was the thing I did and just like smoked cigarettes and played puzzle bobble. This is stupidest thing. It's pretty cool. I gotta say

So depressing This guy whipped out a pendulum at my job to help decide which fire stick to buy That's cool That's why you use tiktok. This is what it's for. Yeah, this kind of shit Look at that crazy fucking ring that guy has on If I saw that ring on a hand, I'd be like this dude's gonna have a whole lot of personality Oh, god, I know he's gotta tell you stories. That ring is not a subtle ring No, because he thinks he's into like shamanistic

What is it like indian but not like a native american? Like he thinks he's a native american shaman or something. Is that what this is pretty much? Yeah I mean, he's he's got his pendulum deciding which fire stick to buy you think he just fucking lick the wind or something Lick the wind It's this one lick the wind This is not normal But I've seen none. I've actually seen that russian footage a lot of like the hammer

Hitting somebody who's like at a chiropractor. You're like that looks like you just fucking ruin that guy's back Um, and this time it's like to a guy's asshole I bet to the the coccyx tailbone or whatever, but that the guy swinging doesn't seem like he really knows what he's doing No, of course that was like a real lazy swing and all those p.o. Boxes behind him. I know That's too light Nah, that's weird. Nah, do you still get your back adjusted? Uh, I was getting my back adjusted, but as I've been working out more. I haven't been needing it as much Look at that. Look at you. Look at you. Look at you. Look at you. He's lost weight. He looks great. It's all this losing weight

I know. Yeah, you look really good. You've lost what 20? Wow 20 pounds. It's amazing. Congrats. He's on that beat. Yeah beat Bart path Well, yeah, I mean has Bart lost anyway No I think he found the weight that I lost I took a cup I filled it up What I found out later was about seven ounces of urine and I looked at it. I said this is the craziest thing

I've ever done and I just banged it all down. There's like a beer And it surprised me all the taste was like warm seawater All right, well, I would like to see the fan after this, you know Yeah Yeah, I wish I would have seen what these guys said to him next You know No, I know but the you know, they all say the same thing and now he's like I know where this is going

This guy's like I drink it every day. Of course these urine therapy people. It's they're always proselytizing What a great thing this is to drink your own pee. You got a pee in your mouth for hair or skin You don't pee in your mouth. Yeah, what are you living for? There's the caraca caraca Fuck you man for having that in your house You're insane That's to the owner by the way That's who he trusts me

He's got a if I can what's that shit on his around his neck collar with like the name tag on there's muffins You think you stick your hand out that goes well with that? How'd you lose those three fingers my cat? So wild Definitely didn't like that just well go back to the first one you really enjoyed that first one again Remember the first one. Yeah, that would have been go back to that. I want to see now I That's real

That can't be real can't be real. What are you talking about? They're somewhere in like that amazon or some shit But look at them screaming. That's like a 40 foot Three that's like a monster from a movie Looks real to me and also that chatter that sounds real. I didn't see anybody Yeah, I think that was added in yeah, it feels like it's an effect and it doesn't look like the snakes moving too much You know like it's just trying to eat a van. Yeah. Yeah Why I liked it. I mean, it's cool. It's cool that somebody that somebody could create this as cool as fuck I'm just saying I'm questioning whether or not that's really what we're seeing universal studios. I don't know where the fuck it is, but

Maybe Oh What he's just eating fruit I hated that you guys are so uptight He's just trying to enjoy his banana. What's the problem? Okay, let's wrap this up One that is wrong Two he's been here with me I like these and three he was not on his phone last night He don't know you he don't want you he only wants me

I like that. Yeah She's cool. That's cool. Like trailer trashy. Yeah. Yeah. I also like the shit talking. Yeah It's like just some random comment early. Do you know even though it's perfectly publicly respond to shit talk is very fun That's a good. It's like daddy a lot of going like he's so like bro. Yo, stop calling me daddy. Have a good day everybody Yeah, I like women dog That's shit out, man Hi guys, I just wanted to wish everyone a really wonderful great and safe weekend And yeah, president's day weekend. It's president's day, isn't it? So

Yeah, that kind of weekend this month went by so quickly. I can't even believe it We're gonna be in march before you know it very well Is it march? Are you broke? No mark. Yeah march Okay, bye So, uh, is that Latoya? Yeah, like I mean, she's basically doing the chris shout out Talk. Yeah, like have a good weekend. I can't believe it's president's day weekend. Wow. It's already march. Is it april? It's like, what do you Why did you even get on the talk?

I wonder why they fucking do this to their face. It's just fucking the face is like And the you can see in the background the opulence the wealth You're just like and she knows what she's doing like she framed herself up next to the vase next to the yeah, of course Of course. Well, I prefer this to a cool guy video for sure. You know, yeah, how old is Latoya? Were you? She's gotta be in her 60s, right? Yeah Yeah, her nose is just gone at this point Is that Latoya? It is 65

I mean, they're they're all sweet as shit. I'm sure like they're they're never But you're just like, can you imagine how? What it's like to be her I'm just saying like you've been famous your whole Existed and your brother was that kooky shit She looks like him. I know it's wild, right? They're really crazy. Yeah, do they go to the same plastic? They will start Butchering the bread like that Practical certainly But in terms of etiquette incorrect

Place it onto your plate That's this is where the saying comes from breaking bread So you break the bread into small pieces Mouth mouth size Butchered perfect Did you know that didn't know that really no, I didn't know that

Um, yeah, you're so you're not what they're saying. This is an etiquette. I know you like the informative talks Yeah, so it's an etiquette talk. You're not supposed to take the whole slice of bread Butter the whole slice and then chomp you're supposed to take a slab of butter put the butter on your tiny plate Break off a pre and then dip like do it like that I like knowing the etiquette because I also like to know when I feel like breaking it, you know Because sometimes you like what do you mean? I sometimes I go like I don't want to be proper You understand. Yeah, but like if I'm at a lunch or dinner or whatever and it's like, I don't know friends or family I'm like, uh, fuck it. Well, yeah, I'm just gonna butter it straight from the thing. Yeah, I don't care

I think yeah, this was always but it's good to know It is my mother was always a stickler on this on the butter bread etiquette and but it's so to me it seems more disgusting to Rip off a piece touch it. You're touching it more with your dirty hands. Why are your hands dirty? Well, you know what I mean You don't we don't as westerners generally touch our food directly. Yeah, we usually use a fork and a knife So for a westerner to grab the thing and shred and then you're touching the bread and the thing It's like so many meals with warm bread delivered to

Uh, the table Eat the whole loaf before anything comes place has amazing bread and I'm like you piece of shit I know and then they're like would you like another basket? I'm like, yeah, I'd like two loaves of bread I know two loaves of bread before dinner. Thank you. No Um, the worst is fondue. Have you ever had fondue? I have had it That's a waste too because then they get you to order like do you want chicken and veggies? Meanwhile, you're not going to make it past dipping the bread in the cheese. That's all you're fucking there for is dipping bread and cheese, of course Fucking gods trying to rip me off. All right. Let's see. Let's see what your final talk is. Are you all right cross your fingers?

Let's hope it's a good one that doesn't send us into a deep depression. No Here you go Oh Fuck That was cool though, right? He fended off two wolves in to bed. That's the worst thing that can happen to you Oh, have wolves coming after you? Yeah, because wolves are such smart hunters too. You know, yeah, they're pack animals And they'll surround you and they'll they'll even bait you in They'll they'll you know, they will look the ones will come

From the sides and behind you and and the one that's let's hear you're like, uh, I don't know about this one He'll run away. You're like, oh, he's gone. You don't know you're getting ambushed How do you know all this about wolf culture? Yeah, how do you know all this? You've never shared this with me 17 years. I actually studied wolves when I was in Shut up in to bet When you spent your time in to bet with brad pit when he was no, I went I did go to a camp. Um, Wolf camp wolf camp when I was in High school and they sent us out into the woods and they they they uh, they had like, you know experts

We're telling us all about like wolf hunting and everything. Okay And do they tell you stuff like when you go to bed at night You have to put all the food in the trees so that the bears don't come and take the food They didn't say that they made us howl at the moon They did Why just so as we could so wolves could hear us and then we could practice our wolf calls I love it. What was your wolf call like? Oh Yeah, yeah, let me hear it yet. I mean, I'm not gonna do it here wolves will be here in five seconds

It's dangerous it's dangerous when you're good at it. Yeah So they told them they taught you how to wolf call so that you could beckon the wolves Yeah, and then they told me they're like, you're actually dangerous because you can do it I bet yeah, I bet and then they told me like Like just remember that you have like an a weapon on you. Oh, wow. Like your vocal cords or wolf cords Yeah, like I could just like summon, you know wolves here. Wow. Yeah, that's really cool. Yeah, it is cool And you should fucking not forget it Okay

Remember that lady That let wolves lick her mouth. I do remember that was the best dude. Yeah That was a fucking best. Yeah It was pretty cool when you get to know a wolf Let it lick your mouth Um, all right. Well, this was a lot of fun. Yeah, I have to say overall that my tech talks were more joyful than your horrible or horrible clips Those were all horrible I gotta say it was a rough go at horrible hilarious today

It was funny But a little sad too. Okay um Thank you guys for watching and listening We'll be back next week hot sauce is the best Our closing song a song is face fat by jasalisk. Oh by gene my mom Life feels like fucking hell without a girlfriend Just because I got a bald head and I'm horny doesn't make me a bad person

You get into like fucking straight up fucking songs, you know Only want to think about her every day and every night girl You're gonna be the most important person in my life. We're gonna be lovers at first sight girl If I would have this think about there's nothing wrong with being horny. Everyone's different. It's part of life It's part of life girl I need sex up and get horny fast girl Let's talk in my car because I'm on a sweet girl I need sex up and get horny fast girl

Let's talk in my car because I'm on a sweet girl so I can lose face fat Fools for the face fat Baby girl so I can look So sexy Fools for the face fat Baby girl so I can look So sexy Fools for the face fat

Baby girl so I can look So sexy Fools for the face fat Baby girl so I can look So sexy Fools for the face fat Baby girl so I can look Let's fall in love girl

So we can enjoy the best for every young years together We can end hardcore sex every day and every night And make Armenia babies one day