Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - 653 - Your Mom's House with Christina P and Tom Segura
Episode Date: April 27, 2022HIGH AND TIGHT!! On this week's episode of Your Mom's House, Tom Segura and Christina P discuss cologne, stinky foods, alpha vs. beta males, and more! They take a look at another "special girl," a dud...e that wants to show Donald Trump a good time, another video from the gag couple, a cool guy dating coach, and a round of Christina's TikTok curations. Also, a Mommy used Joe's "Good Morning Julia" lines to score a date on Tinder, and a new YMH staffer challenges Chad for his title of "Smartest Person at Studio Jeans."
Transcript
Discussion (0)
I was uh, you were sitting in the chair and I went up to you and I was trying to make kissies with you
What do you is it's y'all not am I being?
Inaccurate and no no just right now. No, I'm just taking myself there. I remember
Unreal
Unreal I love you shithead
Welcome to your mom's house
You're my son I'm your mom
You're my son
I'm your mom asked him will you ask ask ask him will you you get your mom?
Yes, I would
You're my son
I'm your mom. It's just like the gaze
It's just like just just just just it's just like the gaze. I
Let that her and she look at me
It's just like the gaze
Once nobody calls me mom, you know, I mean
The both consenting adults
Ask them will you ask ask ask them will you I let that her and she look at me
You're my son
I'm your mom. It's just like the gaze
It's just like just just just it's just like the gaze
Ask them will you ask ask ask them will you it's just like the gaze
Yeah, yeah, it's just like the gaze
Which one of our sons would you marry? Oh my god, I cannot believe you fucking threw that at me
Could not be any more revolting. They're both so awesome. No, who do you choose? No, thank you change topics. God, could you imagine?
No
so gross I
Walked into Julian's room today. He goes. I hate you. Oh
Still thank you. He's deeply in love with me right now. Get out. I go. No
Then I said, you know what no more driving cars. He goes, okay, okay?
Yeah, he gives me such intense kisses and hugs so intense last night
I said, I love you. He didn't say anything. I go. Hey, I love you. He goes. I know
Julian yeah, yeah, that's an LS line. Yeah
I know God
Yeah, you say it all the time
Yeah, that's cuz that's true. He's like, okay
Gosh, I wish my parents I like I never had that they never were like that
Doting on you how much they love you. I didn't knew
Like I never in my life but then like we love you so much. Yeah, I've never had to be like guys enough with the I love you
Really
God
No
My mom would kiss me like hug me and like really but they would say I love you and she smelled
Very perfume me. My mom wore too much perfume. Yeah, and her hair was too crunchy. So when she would hug me
I was like
Cologne is cologne so bad or is it that you only run into people where you notice it with people who wear too much
That's what then you go. Oh cologne is bad because I noticed that like all my Latin friends and family
They all wear cologne, but they don't douse themselves
The only the only man I've noticed to wear cologne. Yeah, that's a really interesting. I was just in Vegas
Which is the home of cologne?
Because you notice guys who are bathing in it. Mm-hmm
It's actually nice if it's subtle if it's subtle like if you have to get close to somebody and you're like, oh this okay
You smell pleasantly good smell them as they're walking around a corner. That's the bad thing. Yeah
God there was one friend in my dad like all Hungarians the men that I grew up around all doused
And I remember it like saying hello to all the
Bocci nannies that you call them like Bocci whatever and you kiss the both sides
And I would have like five or six different greasy cologne smells. Yeah, those guys are wearing too much. Oh
So gross Israeli's too. Yeah, don't you guys do it?
Yeah, but it's not overpowering when I wear stuff. I don't never smell you fuck
Yeah, that's what you want. You want to be if somebody is like bright net like up on you. That's when you want to notice
Yeah, same with perfume. I don't smell a woman fucking 20 yards. That's what my mom would do. It was like
Too much and then her hair was crunchy. I wonder if there's a certain amount of sprays where it goes from acceptable to unacceptable
I think one is one and done one two tops. Yeah, I do
That's it. Yeah, it should be very subtle. Yeah
We used to work with this guy. I worked with a guy in post-production P. J. And
You know that he has kind of laugh yet and you would smell P. J.
You he'd be outside and your inside you're like the fuck is that
And sometimes I would like I couldn't bring it up
How revolting it was what he was doing, but I'd be like, yeah, you like cologne. He's like, you know, bitches love cologne
Big don't he would be doused
If you're in the car with him we go to car to pick up food
I'd open the windows so I can 40 degrees outside. I'm like open the windows man. Like
Get some air and you know what I hate too much. I hate when drivers
Spray down their cars. You have that's part of becoming an Uber driver. You have to wear the cologne
It's like your car checks out and how can we don't smell great
So overpowering it makes me nauseous. I hate it. Yeah, that smells
I like when a car smells like leather or cigarettes. I actually like when it smells like cigarettes. What? Yeah
I like the smell of stale cigarettes. It just reminds me of a good time in my life, you know
You're my son. Yeah, I'm your mom. Okay, what's a smell that other people would think is gross, but that you secretly like
I'll give you another one. I love the smell of bitsy's mouth. I love dog mouth
I love dog breath only when it's your dog. Like I loved feet about her paws. I love those Frito paws. Oh
Okay, what's the smell that you secretly enjoy that people would think you're disgusting gasoline. I love gasoline
All right, but that's like it's a good one. Yeah
That's when we when you discover it like when you're a kid you're like, I like gas
I was like, you know, this will kill you and you're like, oh really?
I think that's the first time you realize that something is bad that you enjoy because it's so innocent
Kind of when you first are like, I like the way that smells and then adults are like, don't do that regularly
This will kill you a little girl
smells
That they would think is I'm crazy. I don't know
Coffee brewing sometimes smells like brown to me. Hmm
Yeah, my smells all off since I had COVID, but yeah, I'm trying to give like rotten smells though
That's most of them were pretty bolting the honey bucket. Oh my god, that was so fucking gnarly
I don't know
Another smelly smell a
Terrible smell. Are you writing one down?
No, I'm just writing down the honey bucket because I feel like we have to talk about that and further dialogue
Okay, other other smells. I
Hate leaf blowers. I hate the way they smell. That makes me angry. Yeah, I hate the smell of clove. I
Agree, I don't like that. Yeah, I love cigarettes like that clove a leaf. I know kind of yeah cigarettes
Oh, yeah, it's also a taste right so that they're associated makes me know one time
I had when I had my wisdom teeth pulled
They put in so they tried to like limit how many painkillers they gave you so they put this like
It's like a string think of it like a
almost like a thicker
dental floss and they wedge it in that space
Because it would be like a numbing thing and they and they keep it there for like a few days
It was clove
And I was like
Felt nauseous and I go. Do you have any other like flavors and they go? Oh, yeah, we can switch it out
I go. I'm coming in right now. Yeah, I'm gonna fucking throw up
Because of this I still remember that still burned into my memory how how much I hate the way that smells
It's very strong very pungent. Oh
Clove cigarettes are kind of gross. I used to smoke those like for a minute when you're in high school
You know when you learn to smoke and you're like, I'm gonna get cloves
Then they burn
Yeah, Irish people
What what I
Hate rosemary with everything inside of me when that fucking shit herb is on potatoes
Or chicken I want to throw throw the fucking chicken right back at them. Yeah, I hate rosemary. You do hate rosemary
I've actually your hatred of rosemary has bled into me somewhat. Yeah, like now. I'll be like I don't like rosemary
Mm-hmm. I never loved it, but I think it bothers me more now
It's also fucking rosemary. You can very subtle
I think it's but people overdo it and that's when like when it's rosemary chicken
Nasty, I like it gross gross gross
Fuck you and the fucking wop that taught you how to make that dish
Okay
Are you still learning your toilet Italian? Yeah
See me Piacci me Piacci toilet Italian. Oh, okay. Let's start the show. You ready
To my hotel
Yeah, I'm about half an hour. I
Need someone to like special girls
No, I'm not retarded
I just have to go like someone with an extra big
Two for two these are great
How big
Welcome to your mom's house
Mom figure
Oh
My god
Can I tell you
What I realized? Mm-hmm. You know, I love shaky cheese like so much. Yeah, so much
Well, I spilled some on the table the other day and then I was like it smells like vomit
Fucking shake she stinks smells like vomit. I mean parmesan cheese. Yeah, but is it the real palm?
It smells like vomit a lot of right like real cheeses stink
I mean, that's not new right? There's some real stinky cheeses out there. Sometimes they're delicious and they stink
Which is wild because most of the time that doesn't align it doesn't I'm if something stinks and it's food
You're like, I don't want that. I want that but cheese is like the great exception. Yeah
I mean, there's some like revolting fart smelling cheese. Yeah, and you eat it and you're like, this is so good
I don't know. There's another food that does that. Is there any other food that you wish it tastes as real good
Yeah
True a lot of seafood stinks see food. So now we found to see food cheese. Yeah, is that it? That's probably it
Let me use my brain online
I'm thinking real hard
Yeah, that's my my thinking brain face
I don't know
Yeah, kimchi. Oh, I love kimchi that can smell right smells so good. I love the cabbage
I look at it for my time that smells on the way in and the way out
Yeah
I'm joined you an episode of hotties with me right now
hotties the pot
Oh
So
That's not gonna taste good. Oh that cubs smells browse. Yeah, I was good. Oh, I
Love that cubs mouth on test the bus like that. Oh, guys never know how much I love it
They should felt chocolate with comma now up. Okay. Oh, this is interesting
The science behind why we love stinky cheese. Wait, what does this subtitle say?
It's called backwards smelling. Hmm
Okay
Usually if something smells funky or rancid we've been trained to toss it
But there is one big exception to this rule stinky cheese even the most mild of blue cheeses can retain a certain sharp
aroma when you get around a real stinker like creamy cave-aged french
a
Poise
The smell can linger in your nose and the entire room you ate it in for a long time
Yet in spite of the stink
We love it. Now. We know why okay
What does it say in the above exclusive clip from food delicious science premiering on pbs
Host james wong explains why a cheese that smells like stinky feet taste so damn good the sulfur like
The stinky sock smelling volatile aroma molecules from stinky cheese stimulate a unique combination of receptors to help
Us identify the smell but when you eat it something magical happens
The aroma compounds are released in your mouth and they waft up to the back of your nose
They're detected by the same smell detectors
But weirdly your brain perceives them as a very as very different than if you
Lean forward and sniff them up the front of your nose. I don't fucking what?
The witchcraft is called backwards smelling the brain combines the pungent smell with the creamy comforting tasted experiences on the tongue at the same time
The combination of taste and smell has a dramatic effect and how do you perceive a particular molecule
If you want to have the full effect of a cheesy flavor scent
Oh, I hate the rind
Do you know do you want to know what cum tastes like what literally? Yeah cab
Yeah tastes like the brie cheese shell
Also, I might like it
it
Literally smells and tastes like the rind
I was just thinking another one another one feet because like sometimes that can smell kind of pungent, but then I'll come real hard
There you go
Oops
Let's do time. Yeah. Yeah, that's true
So does that mean you can eat stuff that smells bad and then it'll taste good. I mean you could start you could try
You could try it as an experiment
Okay, yeah, I don't know you could try you start
Why don't you collect a bunch of foods that stink robot and see how you like them?
I do like kimchi. Yeah, I love fermented foods. That is my jam
That is that's like in your dna from your it's it from your birth eastern europeans love to
Jar and ferment and you guys made your dad made pickles at home. Yes. I live for this cabbages
Sourcrout you ruskies do that shit. It's so good and it's good for you your probiotics
And this is different foods. Oh durians. So that's another stinky one. That one smells like shits. Okay scroll
I hate durians. I love kimchi. Color greens smells like farts. Yeah
Someone's fart in my mouth. Don't sound like vinegar. I don't smell that bad. Sometimes I could smell
Yeah, because vinegar if it has a stronger vinegar ratio
That can smell. Do you know that women used to douche with vinegar? I've heard this in your ruskies sprouts
Those smell like farts that is literally and those make me fart. I've heard you know that I've been turning those down more
Now all the time because you've learned. Yeah, like now when we go out as a group
Yeah, like on tour. Yeah, someone gets brussels. I don't even eat them. I'm like, this is just gonna make me gassy fart machines
Parmesan
I love parmesan so much. So do I damn it
But it smells like vomit the processed sauerkraut that can really stink again fermented, right?
Oh
Think of that. I mean, that should be number one. Do you know that I turned down particularly hard boiled, right?
That really has the smell I hard boiled eggs this morning
And then was like no thanks because I didn't want my mouth to smell like shit truffle oil is a very interesting one
Yeah, because it can smell real stinky
That tastes so good, but you also don't want huge quantities. No need a lot of truffles or truffle oil
Just a little bit. Look what's inside that fucking oil. What's in there fucking rosemary?
Motherfuckers
I should go smack them the way. Yes. Will Smith tried to smack Chris. Get him, baby
Papaya
Papaya doesn't smell. Papaya tastes shitty sometimes. Does it smell shitty? I don't have this smell
Yeah, it's got a shitty smell every now and then. It does
Tastes good. It tastes good
And it tastes good. Is that it?
Yeah, all right, you know what I like to do. Why I put a little bit of that
Spicy shit that red mexican. Are you Puerto rican or something? No, you know what that is. It's like that red
Spicy shit. Yeah, what's it called homie? I don't know. I'm talking to him
Okay, you put that shit on your papaya homie or your mango. It should taste like fire dog. It's so good
What's that seasoning I've seen at home for your eggs. You always have this
Here's a little
trip to tip is okay
It's the everything bagel seasoning from Traders Joe. You put this on your egg
It tastes like you're eating an everything bagel
And you're not without those calories. Yeah, right there. It's like how you I fool myself that first one the Traders Joe
That's it. The Traders Joe one. I fool myself into thinking I'm eating something really special. Bro. It's good. It's really good
It is good
Some might even say
The best
You could put um
I'll have to try it out. Yeah
Yes
Yes
I love it any which seasoning is the best
I mean, uh, what's he's I don't the fucking the hot sauce man hot sauce is
No
What do you put on everything be honest? I mean hot sauce literally I put hot sauce on the fucking string cheese. Yeah
Okay, so you really do believe in is it Tabasco or do you use Tapatio chalula?
I mean if we're going for the basic ones, yeah, chalula's fire. Yeah, Tapatio's fire
Tabasco is like do you like only Tabasco? What isn't it? I feel like nobody likes Tabasco. It's just vinegar. It's vinegar
Do you um
What was that fire? No, that was a uncle terry with that toy up his ass
Um, do you like the green one?
Uh, the green chalula. Oh chalula. Yeah, that's good. Yeah. Yeah, I really like that one
Yeah, the green it's it's almost like the green one's almost always more flavorful no matter what it has
I feel like you can just like
taste
Things in it. Yes. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, right. So as opposed to just this is wait a minute has kick
Guys chalula hot sauce has five different varieties. Did you fucking know that?
Uh
No, I didn't either. What this bitch has five leaves
Chili lime the chipotle one's pretty fire
They also make a habanero one. That's not on here. Bro. That one's really good. Why are we getting? Why are we getting this pack?
Bro read it. How many different guy? There's chili lime
Chili garlic
original chipotle and green peps. Yeah
They don't fuck around at chalula for saying this for years dawg
Just the shit that killed bin Laden you gotta try it
How's joey Diaz? We've seen him. I talked to him last week. What's up with him? Don't let him give you any
drugs
Touch anything he gives me. No, I don't know. I might even shake his hand
God, I wouldn't if I were you. I don't trust his ass anymore. No, no, no way
That dude got me fool me once fooled me again fool. I'm not a fool
Yeah, he traumatized me. I mean, yeah, it traumatized me. Yeah
By the way, you're out there. You're wondering, um, how you can
pick up a lady
Well, um, this is a self-help
dating coach
Oh and cook
Not to give you a hard time. You know who hits on people betas. Okay betas do you know, you know what alphas do
They just win. That's it. They're just like they just win. They don't need to do it
It's just like what's up and then it's just on it's on by default. So it doesn't need to be articulated. You know what I'm saying?
It's like it's just like
Hey
And then it's done, you know, so it's so it's like if it's like, ah, yeah. Yeah, right
It's like, you know, like, you know, like when your significant other comes to you and they're like, no, babe
They didn't hit on me. So
It's okay. We're gonna hang out, right? You're like, it's over, right? You know what I'm saying, right?
No, it's like if if if if they're like, no, he's hitting on me that you know, nothing's gonna happen
Right because betas hit on people
A lot of energy. Yeah, he has buck angel vibes. He does
Does he a little bit? Yeah, it kind of looks exactly like buck angel. I thought for a minute it was
Yeah, right look
doppelganger
Yeah
um
But do you get what he's saying there any do you get that?
I think I get what he's trying to say, which is like, don't it's kind of yeah
It sounds like he's trying to say what you guys said on the last like don't use lines, which was right
Yeah, but also like don't try to sell
Oh, right what you want. Yeah, don't don't even don't be a buyer just come up and say a which yeah, it's funny
Yeah, that's I mean, no, I get what he's I think he was
You know kind of being funny with that. He's like don't compliment that bitch. He's kind of like don't
I don't make a blatant. I'm hitting on you. It's it's like right. I mean, I'm trying to like
Okay, I think I know what he's saying and as a woman. Yeah, I'm sorry. It's kind of correct, right as a
Person who happens to have a vagina. I'm not allowed to be a woman anymore
What I was gonna say is that
I think I know what he's saying it's an energy read
Yeah, it's like
The beta asks for permission to kiss you right the alpha just leans in for the kiss
Right, but as far as specifically what he said, I mean because it's energy a is like, you know
No, he's exaggeration. He's talking energy. Yeah
The beta I know what he's saying the the alpha comes in the room and you're like, that's the guy
I'm gonna fuck you just as a woman, you know the energy of somebody who's confident has their shit together
The beta is always asking permission to exist in the room with you. Yeah, it's energy
It's not even I he's not talking about like words what I interpret as
Talking is what it's not he's not even to talk the woman just like you know as
Regardless of what gender or whatever, you know who's confident and you know who's not. Yeah, it's a confidence game
It's not even about lines. You just nailed it. It's it's confidence is what he's trying to say
But yeah, it's like by him saying don't uh flirt
It's like
So then even the confident guy wouldn't come up and say like hey, baby, let me get your number
Like we don't ever do that. I don't think that's
That's not facts. He's just saying don't hit on any woman ever
She's gonna come to you because you're the winner and it's like that's not
That's not accurate. No, because not at all high quality women
Right high quality women. We don't hit on the men. That's not gonna fucking happen
It's never gonna happen in a million years that I'm gonna chase
A dude it never will happen because I'm like if he likes me he's gonna fucking court me
So he does have to pursue but it's all in your energy of how you pursue
Yeah, you're just gonna be confident and strong and like you're not gonna beg for this woman's time
Right, you're gonna be nice and polite. Sure, but I think hitting on I mean, I think what he's like suggests like the type of
You know
A guy who goes like how can I make this work?
And I think he's like the way that I interpret is he's saying a guy who
Who knows who's confident himself isn't like how can I what line can I say what should my he's just like high
Yeah, I can just be himself. Right and you know that that guy is like a baller. Yeah. Yeah, you know what alphas do
They just win
So true
Can he but he's right. Yeah, they just win. Yeah, it's a confidence
I love this alpha and beta
Delineation like as if a man who is strong confident and independent can't also have feelings
Otherwise, he's a beta. Well, I don't know. I mean, is that right to think of as somebody with feelings as beta?
I think that's what the delineation is like a beta is more
Subservient maybe a little more in his feelings. Well, let's look it up. What is that definition of a beta male?
Somebody who's more feminine and women by definition are more feminine. I mean more feeling people
I would imagine it is a man who looks for the woman to lead
That's generally the beta, you know a subordinate male
animal in a particular group
A man tending to assume a passive
Or subservient role in social or professional situations
Subservient, right? Yeah. Tell me what to do a lot of leader. Yeah
I don't like that energy. That's hard. I wouldn't like to be with a man. That's the subservient
I think it's kind of unattractive because I'm I'm I'm clearly beta
Clearly you can um, it does work for people like obviously that works for some people, you know, I've seen betas with
What
This is why you can tell if you're with a man a beta man. He cares about what you want in bed
Yeah, but sort of alpha dudes
I guess no, they're saying that like the alpha is just like it's about me. That's that's what this right
That's the assumption that
He's reliable. He doesn't protect you betas it says he protects you but they don't
That's a problem with the beta because I've dated a few
They don't step up to protect you and they're terrified if something goes wrong in public. It's like
I would say it's more like he tries to protect you from yourself one of those, you know, like
You're you know, like the trucker dude. That's like you're beautiful, but don't ever say that you're not beautiful. You're the most beautiful
That's that's beta energy. Yes big time
10 things that you women
Should know about you're always beautiful. Oh god. Yeah, that's that's major beta energy to me that guy exactly defines that
Because what you know what it is it's weasley
It's bullshit and it it's bullshit
But it's it's done under the guise of like this is honesty and I can see the truth, but it's actually bullshit
That dude is hosing you with that
You know because he he can't actually be himself
And get you he gets you because you bought into his trick. Yeah
And also, um, so last night I listened to this app to fall asleep. Yeah, and um
I actually in it and I listened to stories before I go to bed. Yeah, and I accidentally put in
Affirmations I am enough and I was like, I'm too tired to change this poor shit
And it was like you are important people look up to you
You are fantastic. It's like, but what if you're not and what if people don't?
That's not true for everybody. There are people who don't have respect of others
It's a lie. You're telling yourself and others lies
Yeah, as is that that trucker who's like, you're beautiful. Maybe you're not
Maybe you're not perfect as you are. Maybe you should change some things about you to be better, right?
Maybe that's okay to not be perfect. You don't have to be perfect because nobody is but
You know, yeah, I think he's might be lying to a lot of you about like how beautiful you are. Yeah
How you should be always be treated like a queen. Oh, I hate that shit so much
um
Because that guy that's like you're always this you're always I was like, you don't you don't even see this person
as a real person then
You're not in a relationship with that person because sometimes you'll be annoyed with your queen
Yeah, it's not real to be the other way. No, it's bullshit
Yep
Yeah
idealizing
Yeah, it's it's not it's not a good way to do it
Like sometimes you even said that I don't treat you like a queen
I was um
Is it yesterday last night? I don't know
I was uh, you were sitting in the chair and I went up to you and I was trying to make kissies with you
What do you is this y'all am I being?
Inaccurate and no, no, I'm just right now. No, I'm just taking myself there. I remember
Unreal
Unreal
I love you shithead
God nothing but fucking love. Okay, so
So you're sitting in the chair and I put my hands on your
Your legs and I'm like kissy-facing with you and like just being a playful sweet loving
wife
And then you fart and that's not enough you push it out. So it goes
Like it growls and then you go
Uh
Like you do the grunt and I'm like that is so fucking disrespectful. What did I tell you?
I don't even remember. You don't remember. No
I was like man the breath that I just took after that felt so good, you know, because I go I went
Oh
Like that. So it was actually like
Air coming out of both ends, you know
It was so nice
It felt so good. I was so glad that you were there to share it with me
And
Then I was thinking this morning
About that disrespect last night, right? Yeah, and I was getting ready and I remember back in our early courtship
I was like now would he have done this?
to just me or just to any like let's say he's with his
model like his most
Prized coveted sexual thing and I was like he probably would have done that to her too because back when you were in love with me back
20 years ago
When you should have been on your best. Oh my god, it's so rude
Um, you farted on my hand
Two months in a few more a few more months. Don't lie a few more months than that
So I'm thinking
And you married me so you really liked me. You really liked me at one point and stop
And you still farted on my hand
So and then I thought to myself, what is this that he has to ruin?
A sweet moment. Is this your is this the thing we're talking about in the last episode?
Why must you elicit disgust from me? Yeah
Why why must you elicit horror and disgust?
Are you testing me to see if I'll come back again? Maybe I don't know
I I do know that I feel like
You are so vile in your behavior most of the time
That like like it's funny to me when you point out like I look at him nodding because no
I learned it from watching you dad. Please remember that commercial
You belch and fart with reckless abandon and you always want me to notice like
You fart and I'm like and you go. Oh did I do that and I'm like, uh
And you and you I mean you'll I'll be in bed
You leave around the corner to go to the bathroom and then you'll come back and go like
Uh and fart and I'll be like what are you doing?
You're like, oh, I think something just happened and I'm like get out of here. Disgusting
But here's the deal you fart all day all day all day because I'm a human being
You don't have to make me hear each one. I don't want to hear them all
But something leads me to believe you do. I don't I don't want to look at me. I don't want to hear them all
I
Don't but you're a braggard with yours. And so I figure he's wanting me to show him what I let this be the day you understand
I don't
I don't want to hear all your farts. Okay, yonah
Yonah may I submit to the or your belches? Oh, that's now you're just taking it too far. I'm not taking it too far
you
I'm telling you I don't want to hear them. Yeah
All right, then what's gonna happen if I do because I know you can and you're never gonna stop. I'm saying
You can
Hold a couple. I'm not gonna not gonna happen. Sorry. This is what you're in for. Here's the deal, man
I don't fart and burp in your mouth when we're kissing. Hold on
When we're when I you're making sweet romantic gestures. I don't rip them then
Oh
I'm sorry. Am I boring you with this discussion of our marriage and love
I just had to yon Jesus. I just had to yon
I'm just saying I don't do it at romantical moments. I do it at neutral moments
To pep up the mood a little bit
Do you think you could hold it? It's not to pep up the mood
Don't give me that bullshit
I like fun. I like it's not about fun or excitement either sometimes I like to have fun
And this is the way I get your attention and I know you laugh. I don't always laugh. I'm revolted
I'm speaking your language your love language. My language is Italian. You know
Didn't you read the love language book farts are definitely our mutual love
Okay
But I don't do it when you're trying to snuggle. Well, wait a minute. You don't try and snuggle when you come to perfect
Wait a minute. You don't come for affection. So
Rude
Maybe it's your way of saying
Maybe it's your way of saying I wish you would give me a hug
And because you don't here's a fart
That's very accurate. Maybe that's your animal brain working. Yeah, I'm punishing you the way a dog does
Yeah, dogs will shit on your fucking stuff if you don't yeah, I'll let you know. I just shit on your fucking shoe homie. Yeah
Come give me a hug
Yeah, all right, bitchy
She's so cute lately. She stopped sleeping on the bed with me. I'm fucking offended really and then she came back
She recently came back. So I'm okay. She's not as snugly. No
It's because she's not as damaged as fief was she likes her alone space. I hate that so much
She goes out to her dog bed in the living room where she'll just chill on one of those couch pillows and she's like, I'm fine
I know and you walk by and she's like, yeah
She's too secure. Yeah, we should traumatize her a little bit. That's what I'm saying
Leave her outside a couple days. Oh, then you'll see and you'll follow me around and all of a sudden someone will want some pets
Uh-huh. You just fucking smug little bitch. Yeah. Yeah
She comes around. I have to beg her to cut bitsy. Come here. Let's leave her outside tonight. Let's leave her outside all night
Good idea. Oh my god. She would die. We'll leave it just cracked a little bit so she gets she can like smell the inside
She would die so fast you think so schnitzel wouldn't survive a night out there on the patio
I think she'd get eaten by a vulture. You know, we've got buzzards and shit. I saw them eating a squirrel
Yeah, they they will swoop down and eat her probably
I think they eat dead dead animals. Yeah. Well, don't bird. There are big-ass birds like hawks
I don't think a hawk's gonna swim fly into our patio and take our dog so fucking
Yeah, owl. Yeah, uh-huh. Hawks will eat tiny dogs. I think I think she's a little big for an owl. Nope. Really?
Please
Okay, I'm telling you back in the San Fernando Valley
Mm-hmm. I've heard of dogs getting snatched by hawks all the time. Okay. Ask Whitney Cummings
She has to put a spike vest
On her tiny little dogs for like coyotes and hawks and stuff. It's the truth
Coyotes are a little different than hawks. They're fly coyotes. You never heard of a flying coyote of the valley
Yeah, um
By the way, I don't know if I told you this but you know how uh
Chad is the smart champ. Yes beat Chris twice. Yes. Do you know who said they could take him? Oh, Danny
Danny was like I could beat him really
On what grounds on what he just was like listening to the questions. He's like, oh, I beat him
Danny knew them like he was listening. He's like, oh, yeah, I could have gotten it and Danny was pre-med. He's a bio major
Wow
He's looking at school a few years too. Oh, so he's a new still has his brain cells and stuff
Yeah, that's what I'm saying
And that's why I felt Chad was a strong contender because he still has his brain cells from being in academia
The key word there for Danny is pre-med
If it was actually med then maybe we could we could talk about it
Oh my god until a person is in med school. We're all technically pre-med
Wow
It's always slang in this shit. Chad is like I know Chad. How do you feel with your title right now?
I feel like everyone's coming after me for some reason. Yeah, that's what happens when you win
Yeah, I saw a lot of things online saying the the first round was a little too easy
But the question was never are we geniuses as it was am I smarter than Chris and it turns out I am
Now that analysis alone makes him smarter than any of us
So are you are you I'm assuming you're open to a contest with Danny? Yeah, that'd be fun
But Chris is still my like our tribal. Oh, I got you. Yeah. I got you. Okay. So
It's not the same what you're saying. Correct. Well, why does Danny think he can
Can we talk to Danny? Can we get him in here for a second? Sure. Yeah
I'd like to hear what his reasoning is because I think it's because he heard the
He heard the questions and he was like, oh, I could get these right but a pre-med major is that's
Knowledge and we didn't do pre-med questions. Yeah, but he has he has good general knowledge too
You know, that's kind of what was covered by to be fair. I was a little off my game that day
I feel like I mean we watched like a ton of heavy segment videos and we were watching like vaginas full of rocks. I wasn't really like
Peak brain performance. Yeah, that kind of shuts mind down too
That was a special one
Here he comes
Oh, well Danny big nuts, huh? Hello young Daniel
Hey, what's going on guys? Hey, so we were just saying that you're up for a challenge with uh with with uh chat, right?
Yeah, that's absolutely right. That's absolutely
Okay, did you find that those did you get all those right that were asked before when you were listening in?
Um, I got I think I got one wrong but the rest of um, you had really strong
Yeah, so so you're a pre-med
So were you gonna be were you gonna go to med school? Yeah, that was a plan
Wow. Yeah, and then uh, I still might after
Yeah, and then I decided to come work here. Yeah, not smart. Um
Well, would you consider going still like a med school? Yeah, like was that still of interest?
Is that one of those things you're like, you know what? Maybe I will do that
No, that ship sailed a long time. It did. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I talked to a lot of doctors and they were like, don't do it
It's the worst. Really? Yeah, they're like, I hate it. They're like, I don't get to pick my hours
Like I make like okay money. Yeah. I was like, cool. I'll go
Work at a podcast
Yeah, I don't know who's smart now, but um actually
Yeah, I think you might want to listen to those doctors. Um, so hold on. So pre-med is like chemistry science
Biology all this stuff, but you answered questions about those were not science questions, right? So
Yeah, well, I mean like if you're gonna go if you've made your mind up that you're gonna be pre-med
Like you tried a lot in school. Yeah, so I did that. I took a lot of classes
Uh did all the ap stuff and then I got to college
Uh and just decided it really wasn't for me. How long ago how long into college did you realize it wasn't for you?
Uh, I think like after two years, I was like, I don't want to cut bodies open. I don't want to do that thing
Uh, and then I decided I was going to be a physical therapist
And then I worked with a bunch of those and they were all miserable. Yeah, really?
Yeah, and then at that point I was like, maybe I'll go into like business or something
But they said, you know, you're gonna need an extra year or two
You know, I got a ton of student loans. I was like, I'm not doing that. Yeah. What was your SAT score?
Uh, I took the ACT
Oh, that's right. Yeah, yeah, definitely west. Yeah
It's a coastal thing. So what was your ACT? That was 33 out of a possible 36
That's pretty good. And Chad, what was your SAT? It was my I did the ACT as well. It was also a 33
Wow, let me ask you this Danny. Were you ever a professor?
I feel like your fall from grace is a little bit worse than mine. Oh my god
Wow, so so you watched Chad and you were like, I could take him down. This is bullshit. Yeah, I was like, this is the competition
Oh, wow. This is what's happening in my food. I keep looking how my sass is in this office. I thought they were
Danny's team chris, I guess. I guess. Well, I'm sick and tired of you. Just trashing them all fucking day, man
The losers are always sick of the winners winning. You know, it's just how it goes. Oh man, okay
Is Chad trashing him a lot more now that he's been um, yeah, yeah, how's it been lately?
Honestly, it's been a little bit more quiet. I think uh, you know, chris is taking a couple to the chin
And uh, and he's not really running his mouth anymore. Oh, but I'm sick and tired of it
You know chris was there when I choked on that steak at christmas dinner
He was there. He gave me the heimlich. He gave you life. Not this piece of shit. Wow
Oh
This guy was like this food's good. I'm gonna
While it's hot chris just wanted to give you a heimlich. I didn't really care if you were okay
He just wanted his hands all over him. Right. Yeah
Okay, all right. I think we set the
All right, Danny table for the next thing. Thanks guys. Jesus. Wow
I didn't realize how hostile these dudes were. I didn't realize that there's like that kind of like, you know
flavor in this
Environment like I just didn't realize it. I didn't either because all we see is everybody being like nice to each other and getting along
So we didn't we don't really realize that there's trash talking behind
you know
Close to where we're not here. That's interesting. We should start watching the footage of the cameras. Yeah, let's surveil them constantly
Oh, we're gonna
I'm gonna watch that fucking jukebox camera. You bet day and night. It's gonna be on my phone
I
Know Danny was pre-med my god. Yeah, you gotta be real smart to do that one. You know he gots to be
I couldn't have done that one
Uh, check this out. That's a pretty cool offer
Listen, I'm offering a challenge if I'm gonna find Donald Trump's phone number
Because I I can give Donald the best sex of his life better than Atlanta
I give Donald Trump that's emotional damage. I want Donald Trump. I love Donald Trump. Oh, wow
So this guy
Oh, wow is offering to have sex with former president trump. Wow
And he thinks he can do it better than all on you
and
And all you have to do is get this guy trumps phone number
That's amazing. Pretty cool. I miss Melania. Yeah, I miss seeing her
Better than Melania
Melania
Yeah
Wow, he seems attractive and he seems game and I like his energy. I hope he gets what he wants
I wonder if Trump will be open to it. I know he's traditionally liked women
but
I don't know. I love Donald Trump. Not every sees this guy. Yeah, this guy's got a fucking
Bubbles, let's just he might be native american because he has the same teeth as that guy
From the last episode who's not jewish, right that last guy who wasn't jewish, but was native american
and had very similar teeth
I am
There's bubbles. There he is. He does have a bubbles look. It's true
There he is. Yeah
Yeah
Oh, there's bubbles looking normal the actor. That's wow looks big difference. That's bubbles. Yeah
Oh, he's arrested for domestic battery. Shut up. That's a very bubbles charge, isn't it? Yeah
Art imitates life life imitates art really cool
Didn't know that wonder who he assaulted
I'm glad he made a tiktok about it. Let's see
The guy his name is mike smith with a woman. Yeah
Hmm
That was oh hollywood police. It was in la
1 15 a.m fighting out in a bathroom next to the pool at the roosevelt hotel. That's cool
Uh
Okay, just having fun
He had a goofball, huh? 20 grand bail. Yeah, he's probably goofing around. Yeah. Yeah. Oh bubbles. What are you doing, bro?
Um, wait, is this somebody else here smith previously spoken out against violence supported his trailer park boys
co-star lucy
De cuterio
After she accused the canadian radio personality of choking and raping her jesus christ
He was found not guilty
Last month, okay
A lot of stuff going on up north. Jeez. I know didn't realize this
Oh, that's old as fuck. It was 2016. Yeah, okay
Well, we were behind. I really look so different without like the glasses and the
facial expression. Yeah
Guys got to be exhausting on like a 16 hour day. It's just thinking that they're probably like, hey, man
Hey, mike gotta kind of do the bubbles face
He's like every line. Yeah
Yeah, you don't want to do the character, man. Yeah, I bet it's it's grueling. It works you out. Yeah
Um, here's our number our friend
Hey, lor
Great day today for ct spray tans lor de augustino. Yeah, how was the bodybuilding competition? Did you kill it?
But i'm not even saying anything loran
i'm not even
I'm not even saying anything
This time it's not me. All right, follow ct spray tans everybody
It's over. It's over
It's over
I don't want to see another one of her. No, there's only one in there. She's really sweet. She's very sweet
Yeah, he does this to her all the time this time though. What you missed is that he didn't say anything
He's like, how was your thing and she's like, I don't want he's like, okay. How was your context?
And then she just started dry-heathing. He's like, I didn't do anything
Now it's like locked into her head if she sees him in a camera. Like pavlovian. Yeah, it's pavlovian at this point
Yeah, it's amazing. It's hilarious. Poor lady
Boy, her husband really tortures her, huh? Yeah, I wonder if he farts and shits and
Just you know, i'm not gonna stop burping and farting. Oh, I know
I know you've been doing it for over a decade
I did I told you I had a boyfriend that like was so annoying with me. It's like god. Yeah
I'm like, sorry. Give me his number. I want to talk to him
So what he would just go he would just voice his displeasure. So but also I was generally
Messier than he was. So I think yeah, I didn't like it
I'm just a big pig
Look, I'm not a neat
Lady. I'm just not
I know this
Maybe that's the kind of pig man I get because I'm a pig with tits
Cool
I'm gonna pig with tits. Yeah
Yeah, imagine that
Um, so so yeah, there's a oh here we go. So what do we get a pet?
Holy shit finger in the bear's mouth. No big
What's language was that again?
Russian no surprise
Jesus idiot
How is he this confident with this bear he must have raised him from you think so I hope
Because I just imagine, you know when you scratch a cat's belly and they don't like it and they hind kick
They hind kick leg like no, I don't like kick you
Yeah, you've had a cat any you know when you rub that cat's belly and they like use their hind legs to
To kick back. I was picturing that bear just fucking kicking that guy's arm out of the socket. Yeah, this whole head coming
Kind of wild they're like
Yeah
There I am
Yeah
He's so Canadian about it. Hey, yeah, look at these titties. Hey, we gotta go find that pig. What city is he in again? Was it Calgary?
Yes, that where he is
I'm gonna have to make a stop there. Oh
I have to
I gotta go try to find norm. I would love you to find norm. Yeah, I heard the borders are open now to canada
Are they? Yeah. Well, my Canadian friend Shane was just here. What kind of uh,
What are you gonna go to a fine restaurant with him or I don't know. I don't know just meet him come in his mouth
Just, you know, he'd love that. He doesn't like guys
He likes he does that for whenever his mistress tells him
Oh, well, you have to get with his mistress first and get the okay the orders
I blew this guy
Yeah, I wonder where he is in his cycle
If he's so right if he's into it or if he's out of the loop
French Canadian
Poutine fries. Oh, that was so cool. Yeah, maybe go off. Well, what if we went out for poutine?
That's what you're gonna do. Yeah, I love poutine
Find a place. Yeah. Yeah, let's get an update on norm. Yeah. Yeah. See how he's doing if you don't mind
Yeah, you got it. Yeah
He's a sweetheart
You want to swing hilarious? I don't think you're aware of this. So somebody
Uh went on tinder
And decided to you to like to flirt like open his game that he would use good morning, julia joe's words, you know
You're precious. Yeah, like good morning, julia. It's me joe
Just wanted to say hi
wish you a great day
Tell you that meeting you yesterday
And getting a look at you was probably one of the greatest moments of my life. You were so beautiful
You don't know how beautiful
You are to me. Okay. So you know you're gorgeous. You're precious. Just a reminder to everyone. It's so uncomfortable
Oh, it's so predatory
So he matched with her it goes good morning. Julie. It's me joe. Just wanted to say hi wish you a great day
I tell you that meeting yesterday
She writes back ha ha. I am confused your name is eric or joe
Good morning. It's night. I think now. I don't think I met you. You don't know how beautiful you are to me
You're precious. She's gorgeous. He writes to her
She writes, um, maybe if you met I mean person you would not think so
It's been sitting in my mind when you said you want to go back with your boyfriend
Please erase him from your mind
They'll never go back to your past. I know because I've been there
She writes ha ha. I'm a little bit confused. I will play along
I would not go back to him because I broke up with him because I was fantasizing about someone else
I understand we're trying to find somebody and you go on dates and nothing compares to your ex
This is all exactly what joe says in the video
It seems like maybe you're still into your ex
I will love you like you've never been loved before. I will cherish you
I'll make you feel like a woman a real woman
And believe me if you experience me, you won't even know who your ex boyfriend is
Open up your heart to me and your arms. Let's go full throttle
Uh, she writes, I am not into my ex, but it seems like you are very confident
Oh, her name is julia. Yeah, that's why he did it. I think I can see myself falling in love with you
I don't know. I just look into your eyes. She goes, that's good. I never met you before
No, anyhow, I'm head off to work. Do you work night shifts at self-employed?
Um, this is my cute little home everything you see behind me. I built everything every square. He keeps going exactly what joe says
She goes, you are a very interesting person to talk to. What's your favorite thing to build?
How do you know how to build everything? He goes, you're a sweetheart of this conversation. I didn't scare you
That's how I feel
So you know that okay, I look forward to going out to dinner with you. Let's make it happen
I don't think it scared me and just confused me a little bit
But I think I would not mind potentially meeting you because you seem interesting to talk to most people just say hi
Um
We're uh, what are you free for coffee or dinner? I'm leaving for a week tomorrow. So I guess after that you live kind of far
Guess I don't know how to long enough to drive 18 miles. Maybe it's not that far. I don't know. I'm sleepy. Mwah child, baby
So he used joe's entire thing and got a date and it worked. It worked
Wow, it just goes to show that women are so desperate for courtship and and just anything more than a high
Even if you're just like rehearsing something you saw in a movie
You know or in this case a psychopath's message to a woman
I mean, I I imagine it's it's got to be hard to
Yeah, court women over DMs and to get something like that. So this is the type of guy you get. I'm a very handy guy and uh
I'd love to build you whatever you want
You're a sweetheart. So I hope this video doesn't scare you
But that's how I feel
I just want you to know that
Okay, no look forward. Um going out to dinner with you
So
Let's make it happen
Child baby, that's the worst part is them
Okay, you come
I want someone to do that one next
Oh
Just do all of Leo's lines. That's a good one. Yeah
Yeah, it's a normal size and then when she's like do not message me again. Just write you better coming up in me
But isn't it interesting to how a transcript of joe
Is not nearly as creepy as a video of joe. Yes, it's totally different
It's all in the presentation. It is because she's like, haha
I'm just confused and I would agree you read that the reading. I also I want to point this out
Joe's not a bad-looking guy by any means. You know, no, I think he looks like a very pleasant gentleman
What if joe's speech is from a really handsome guy like a really handsome guy? I don't know. I think again, it's the
It's the the desperation. Yeah
That's the problem the desperation
It doesn't read in the texts in the that's true written for maybe but he's the performance
Which is authentic is desperate and that's why it's
That's why it puts you off so hard
Because I wonder if this could be delivered not desperate
Yes, right like if the guy was like good morning. It's want to let you know that meeting you yesterday. Ah
Yeah, best day of my life. Yeah, you know and everything you see here. I build I'm a I can do anything like a little more
pleasant and not like, you know not reading so like I want to eat you. Yeah
And then someone's like, oh, this was like sweet. This guy sent me a message, right?
Or like if it's just like a really
Handsome dude that maybe she's like, oh, this is the best message. But the don't go back to your ex that hole
Yeah, that part try to deliver that nonchalant. Go ahead
Um here
Here's your acting tom try to try to deliver that in a sitting in my mind when you said to me you want to go back with your ex boyfriend
Please erase him from your memory. Don't ever go back in the past
You know, it's been sitting in my mind what you said about your ex boyfriend. Please
Erase him from your memory. I don't don't ever go back in the past. You know, let's live right now. Like that's good
That's good. That's good acting. That's good. That's good. Just I know get on with it. Yeah, because I've been there
And I understand when you know, you're trying to find somebody
Because I know
I've been there and I know when you're trying to find somebody then you find someone like you
I just want to squeeze you until your head fucking pops up
That's what I read like
Yeah, he's so desperate
Take your neck and go
That's how you courted me. Yeah, that's all the kind of shit you said in the beginning
Like I'll snap your neck. I want to rip your head off and
Just push push down your neck
That piss all over your mouth. I did not say that I want to fuck your eyeballs out
I didn't say that but he did say you want to squish my head and hurt me and stuff
You did those were glaring red flags that I ignored
Why'd you ignore them?
I liked you
Because you were my kind of crazy. I was like this guy's fucked up. Just like oh, yeah
And you go on dates. Oh stop nothing compares
To your ex but there is that off better person out there. Oh, no, don't say it
I promise you it is me
I got the chills
but there is
That better person out there
And julia
I promise you. Oh, I don't like it
It's me. It's bad, man
And if you say no to this
Yeah
Don't think that I can't find where you yeah, that's hotter than that
I like that over that any day
Just when you think i'm gone
You hear your blinds rattle. Oh, no
You get up to pee in the middle of the night. Yeah, make sure you look in the shower
Yeah, because joe's gonna be standing right there. I like joe. I like that joe better
I take that joe any day. Really?
Yeah, it's hot. You're into me
This guy is just pathetic. He's into anybody that gives him um
A scrap of attention. Yeah, he's into any stray dog. All poor julia actually did was just she didn't even give him attention
That's what i mean. Yeah, I mean it was like
She's walking to her car
I know she had the gym and he's like, oh, who are you like it wasn't even some connection
There really wasn't
But that guy that you just did like he's so into me because he knows me and he knows like
He's picked me
Yeah, bundy style. Yeah, it's not attractive
But devotion devotion
Okay
I like that. By the way hated that burp
Everybody else in the booth did too. Look around. I don't care
I also blow my nose into my hand. I still do. I don't finally caught one of those the other day
It is more revolting than you think
She was like
I was like, what are you doing?
She's like, uh, I have to get up and get a tissue. Like that's what everybody does
But was it during a romantic moment? No. No
No
I maintain the dignity of those moments with you
What nothing what are you thinking about now revolting that was fucking tinesian girlfriend, huh?
Are you thinking of her? Huh? Huh?
No, that was that was a piggy. That was a real piggy
She was nasty
Can we watch some tiktoks? Okay, it's been so long and I've been waiting so patiently
We didn't get to him in the last last episode
And I love them
You sure do. I bet you bitches are looking for me
I
I hope he sees it. Yeah quite a threat. He had like those very scary teeth. Yeah, I feel like this man could be trained
To be a good actor. I think so. He's not yet, but I think he could be he has like the
Putin
Hello, beauty. Yeah, he's needed to memorize his lines first. I think that would have helped. He's stammered
Yeah, yeah, I would have I would have done a take two
Yeah, second take would have been better because you would do have that option
That's what they do in the old moving pictures. They do is take two
The dog rights might be a lady. I think you're right. Is it a is it a they them? Oops
Shit, it might be a lady. I think she could be a great actress too
Let's move on
I want any to go on a date with her
What do you think?
Why y'all do this to me, man? I just feel like you're not attracted to her and I'd like to see you navigate it for a while
It means he likes you. I couldn't. Yeah, apparently you're my best friend now
She's throwing me all the good stuff
What would it take? No, I could not. There's no chance. Wait a minute
All right, what's up? What would it take for you to take her out on a date? Just to take me out
You listen to her just a day. Yeah
He holds her hand and he gives her a kiss good night. Yeah, you have to kiss that mouth with tongue
What would it say like monetarily? What would it take to get this?
On my mouth
Bruh, bruh, uh, bruh couple racks
Bruh
He can't even say a number
Because he knows that he knows the number is going to be offensive. Yeah
All right
point taken
Come on that's impossible
Because well, she is she's not she's a whole white baby. Well, it's a lot. It's I don't just mean
I mean, you know the crazy is also she's crazier than fuck
But you don't think she could use a nice night out a free meal. Oh, I think she could use
I think she could use a little bit of tender loving care
But I think I know someone who would do a good job. I just you know
Selfish. Yeah being real selfish right now
I
Could you imagine though if any asked her out and me asked her out
I was switching this up now where I'm asking first. It was paying me money. Well, no, but that's part of the plan
Oh, I gotta ask her. Yeah, yeah beautiful and show. Okay. I see like how would you use me beautiful?
What are you doing tonight? Yeah, how would you slide into her?
You gotta be like god, I love when you do that
I'm like, come on, baby. Let's get this over. Let's get this. Oh, we gotta do this proof. You got you're like
I'm supposed to get paid. Can you do this?
I'll give you a hundred dollars if you make it fucking quick. You know what I'm saying? Oh my god
How about you tom? Let's bookmark her and see if we can contact her
You
Does that remind you of your summers in Peru?
Don't drop what lita did to you
That's wild
Yeah, but you know how much that weighs
But you know, you have a relative that did that shit to you like everyone's got somebody in their front. Really? No
No, nobody in my you guys are fucking class in your family. Yeah, nobody in my family did that
Oh, we did white trash shillings this all the time. You but your hand was dropped like under a guy's gut
Yeah, yeah
Really? Yeah
Like a hundred pound gut. Not like that fat, but you know fun games like this. Yeah, wait. What specifically was the game?
I'm trying to remember like, you know, he just stupid shit like this like was it like hey reaching my panthers came in there
there's like
That's what it kind of sounds like
But if someone would do this in my family, okay, wait, so what do you feel?
How do you feel? How do I feel watching that? Isn't that funny as shit?
I mean, yeah, it's kind of like it's also like alarming that he seems like he's really trying and he can't get out of there
I want to know what that weighs
Her fat and she's huge. That's really big that poor little arm. It's too big
That's like juju's arm. Ellis's arm. All right, any between this one and the last one
I was waiting for it. I was waiting for it. Who would you go out with first?
I go with this one. Yeah, at least you can't even see her face. Scream. Yeah, it's true. I can't see your face
And she's fun. Yeah, she seems fun and she's not, you know, making videos about how
She'd be like oh, yeah, stupid. She's oh, yeah, any. Why don't put your peepee under my gut? See if you can fuck it
Often you have a new fetish when you come back. You're like, I like to nut under these big fat guts
God, help me. Please. No
Not that one
Now hear me out if we had the right producer on this track, it could slap right any
Hey
That's what I'm saying. They're from the same school. It feels like
So good up the sun
That's him. Oh my god, it is him. That's cut of the kill. I didn't realize that was him. I didn't realize that was him either
Wow, wow, so that's not wow the coincidence that I'm triggered
Wow, what are the chances? I just randomly found him. He really likes to put his his raps out there
Well, you know when you're an artist and you do it for just the love of the game
Nothing can stop you when you're a creative person
Yeah, you know you and I did stand up for free for many many years because we love it so much
Yeah, getting paid is just a perk
These guys
My camera attack am I line
Valentine line
Boy Jackie
Hunter
It's pretty good. It's cute. It's very cute. Jackie the parrot. Yeah, so these are all baby parrots that this guy is raising
It's cute and he gives updates on them every day. He tucks them in and he it's it's adorable
That's adorable. Yeah, I could see myself getting crazy like I definitely could see it too. Yeah
Yeah, I think you're not that far from this not far at all. When all the kids go to high school
I'll be getting six parrots and I'll be tucking them in
Lovely
Are you gonna make love to me now? I don't make love
I fuck hard
Oh, I like the tongue wag at the end. That was cool
Well, this had all the elements of an amazing talk. Don't you see it? Don't you get it?
Yeah, first of all, okay
So it's a horny talk, which you know are my favorites to put that horny in his other
Number two, he do edit her and the sinking did not match up whatsoever and that didn't stop him from publishing
His whole vibe is lit lit
I mean shirtless sunglasses
Not being able to do the lipstick correctly
Holding a wad of cash tongue wag. I mean he's got all the fucking markers. Yeah
Yeah, I mean it is rare to find all these boxes angle angled up like it's like yeah
It's all amazing and then she's got great. She's got
She's got full tattooed titties. Did you notice that like that? No, I miss that
She's real life Tina
I mean her titties are I'm not saying like a chest piece in the middle. Yeah her fucking titties, bro
Are like tatted up. That's that's tough. Yeah
Stop sending coins cards keys and jewelry through letters
This machine will rip them out
Did you know that interesting this is secrets of the united states postal service
USPS and this is one of their hot tips. Don't send that stuff that that's a sorting machine, right interesting
Yeah, and it'll rip out whatever shit you're gonna do. No
And he's like I've sent so many drugs
Through the mail
I mean I was gonna say something a little you know more youtube safe, but low key. Yeah
And ain't no problem. So that's interesting. I think that the
maybe it's
standard letters that this is a this could be an issue with but if you put it into like
envelope
Yeah, like a bigger, you know, I mean it's just saying that like that can happen because that makes sense if that machine is
Like, you know letters are supposed to be letters. Yeah, are you sending them through letters?
I I sent I sent one. Uh, what was it? It was like a vape cartridge, you know, like the little right I sent that through
Regular just the envelope. Maybe you got lucky though. Maybe I got lucky. I don't know
Hmm guys, just pay attention when you're sending your illegal stuff in the mail
If you could have me for 24 hours
And I couldn't say no
What would we do?
What would you do with them for 24 hours?
So this is a popular meme where it's usually hot chicks. Yeah doing the voiceover like if you could have me for 24 hours
And I couldn't say no, what would you do? I mean, what do people say to that?
I'm fucking oh the fucking bend you over I treat you like a queen
It ranges from like I treat you like the queen you are too. I bend you over and fuck you
It's it's a way for hot girls to get hot girl attention. Sure this meme, but then when this guy does it
It's a whole different thing. It's kind of interesting. No, yeah, it's artistic
Oh
Yeah
Okay, I love that he thought that he's gonna get
The same he did it because he's like I want those types of answers
Yeah, like I want people to be like, oh you can't say no
Yeah, yeah, I know
He's like what what what wouldn't I do with you? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's for hot chicks
You know just try it out my new cosplay
face paint
Tell me what you think about it
Huh
If you like it or if you don't have a good day
I can't get over how stupid this guy is
Did you imagine putting yourself out there like tell me if you like it or not like what do you think people are gonna write?
I mean his world
It's probably a few people that go to those and he and they're like fucking killed it, bro
You look amazed. I think it's so embarrassing. What is that? He's gonna have to be a cat. Is that what that is? Is that cat makeup?
Who's in the cosplay? Are you in the new cats play sir? He looks like cats. It does look like cats
He's the angelical cat the evangelical cat. I don't know what he is. It's fucking terrible. The jellicles
I got an eyelid piercing
Cool, right? You're gonna get one too. Holy shit. Yeah, that can't be good for you
How do you sleep that's gotta be horrible that looks rough
Fuck yeah, this is making my stomach hurt
You sure you don't have to shit again. I don't think so. I might after if I watch this video again. I might yeah
That's fucking rough. I know it's cool though
Well, don't you think no, hold on
When people were getting this person's eyelid not eyebrow the eyelid is pierced
but remember when people were getting lip piercings and
Nose rings at first everybody was like, how can they do that that don't boogers get caught in it?
It's unsanitary. You know, she's just leading the way
She's revolutionary, Tom. Yeah the next generation of cool piercings
I respect this man's eating game. I feel like Burt would respect this too. Yeah
Yeah, Burt would do that. He'd be like, I'm doing that tonight
I'm making that tonight
I love that. I love you so much
I hold you things to you
That I would not even do to a farm animal. That's love, baby
Look, these guys love it. I don't know what your problem is. Everyone else is having a big fun time in the sound booth
Hello, they loved it
This is getting big lol's not like your horrible videos of people dying in trucking accidents. Yeah, listen. Uh, this this one did it for you
This is what gets you. This is hilarious
This guy does all creep videos. He does
He does
You sound surprised. I am surprised
He's not explaining. Well, I don't know this world like you. So you have to fuck. Yeah, this is this guy's lane
It's always being creepy and shit
Okay
Wow
I'll do things to you that I wouldn't you. I don't like it. I don't like it. I didn't say I enjoyed it
Where is the guy that the mommies have gone on?
Chomo guy. Oh that guy. He's on tiktok too. Yeah, this dude is fucking great
This guy the mommies found him. Yeah
Um, hold on. And I discovered him after the mommies had already been
Torturing him and I was like, oh, this is fucking amazing
Um, here we go. I got him
Stop calling me that name. Stop calling me a chomo. I'm not a chomo
Stop calling me a chomo. I'm not a chomo. What's wrong with you?
You're the weirdos
No way. Hi
That's a don't call me daddy style. Uh-huh
Um
Let's see internet personality
Oh, he's an infamous being a fart fetishist. I didn't realize I didn't know that
Compilation of more clips of him telling people not to call him a chomo
Yeah, he has been accused of actually being a chomo. Oh in real life. Oh kidoki then
Stop calling me chomo. I fucking mean it. I'm sick and tired. I'm not no chomo. What is wrong with you people
I'll get you back for this
Oh boy, you're gonna pay the price. You see I'm not no chomo
I
Stop doing your retarded shit. I don't care how much you say it. I'm not gonna stop
I'm doing what the fuck it is. I want to understand
Stop fucking doing it because I'm gonna fight back and fight back and fight back all I want. I'm not gonna stop
Do you have the videos of him why
So there's videos of him dressed as a school boy
And then being like I look extra young in this look. So he is
he is
Enticing people to call him
Oh, that's in the tech talk folder. So really? So yeah, let's let me show you because I
I pulled that as background because I was like, why are we calling him a chomo? And then I did a dive and I'm like, oh
Here it is. He's like, I'm looking younger every day. Like oh
I'm a kid and I don't have to go to school
I'm a kid and I don't have to go to school
I'm a kid and I don't have to go to school
What do you think?
It's strange it's definitely weird and I don't like it
Well, this guy Spakostarica
Can you buy a pound of
tuna a pound of tuna for like five bucks?
Buy a fresh caught from the freaking ocean out here
And just eat it five bucks a pound of tuna
raw
Got my papaya here the papayas are so delicious
We got some avocado
Hmm and a freaking bone. Yeah
Full of bone marrow. So what I'm gonna do is after eat this tuna
I can't stand to go to a sushi restaurant and pay so much money for sushi. Well, look at this
It's a pound of yummy delicious raw tuna
for just
Like five bucks
I can't even eat this much is so much
What a primal
way to be
I like it here
I don't think I'm gonna eat this avocado because this is gonna fill me up
Okay, I mean his guts have to be so strong. Yeah, I bet you he's got guts of steel this guy
He's doing it. He never gets diarrhea apparently. I don't know. He doesn't say that
He might live with diarrhea, but we don't know. Do you think he's just for years
He's like, I don't know why but the thing is like most of you I have diarrhea seven eight times a day now
I don't know
I mean
Okay, this is a different guy
This guy put steak took it out for a week and that's what it looks like
So this is another guy that's been eating raw on tiktok rameet
And that steak looks rotten as shit
And he's into eating it like that too. He shows you
There you go. Looks like shit. It's green
It's black. It's not meant to be consumed, but he's gonna eat it
Why does he have to eat them rotten? The insides are still normal looking. It is only two weeks old
I
Mean maybe his stomach is used to this bacteria
I'm not sure what the utility is in this
I don't know. I don't get it. He's just showing that he's rotten food. Yeah
He's into the the raw food eating thing, but that's not just raw. That's rotten. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah
Rami is always hmm chewier
Okay, I guess he doesn't get sick anymore. So some people think that I've just been seasoning a fresh steak each time
I'd like you to have a look at what's happening to the fat there
Yeah, it's molding over that doesn't happen
We're just seasoning. You know, it's been sitting out
So here's a good look of what's left over
um
Which I will sample again next week
Okay, thanks everybody he's into eating raw
I
Mean, I don't know how this doesn't kill you because don't don't you die from like botulism and and I don't know the size behind kill you
Chad can't these bacterias kill you?
Yeah, I think it might uh, you might need to get used to eating that kind of food
Over time. Yeah, and then you'll build a resistance to it. Yeah, I believe so
Okay
Well, that's a good thing to get into it's like your next hobby. Yeah is I'm always looking for hobbies acclimating your body to rotten meat
Yeah, and then a few short months
You can eat the steak too
Okay, um, let's wrap this up. Why I was just having fun. Everyone's having a great time. No, I want to go
Uh, thank you guys for watching and listening and um, yeah, we love you
Yeah, and we'll see you this respect
That was for you. Yeah, I know you looked right at me. I know it's for me
You do have a Jewish nose, especially when you laugh
I'm telling you man, it gets even more Jewish looking when you laugh hard
So does mine though. I've seen me laugh my profile. It's not pretty. Okay
And
Thank you guys
Have a great week. We'll see you soon. Bye. Bye. Love you
Oh
Oh
Oh
He just lost your life
Oh
Oh
Hey, you just watched a full episode of your mom's house
I hope you enjoyed it. And if you didn't watch another one, maybe you'll like that one. They're everywhere. Look
I don't know they place them in like
cubes
squares whatever it is
Just click another one. Maybe you'll find someone you like or someone will get hurt