Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - 671 - Your Mom's House with Christina P and Tom Segura

Episode Date: August 31, 2022

Did you miss the greatest YMH LIVE yet?! Well don't worry you can rent it for 7-days by going to https://ymhstudios.com/rentals. Go watch it right now!Welcome back to the Mommy Dome with Tom Segura and Christina P! The mommies talk about leaving Los Angeles for good, condiments, and watch some FedSmoker vibes from a cool guy in the UK! The mommies discuss food/drinks they don't like that they think they should, what cool things Hungary is up to, and find one of the coolest tailors in Hong Kong! We then review Christina's research on Henry Cavill, deal breakers when dating 10's,  and Niagara Falls. The mommies share their love for the new Jackass movie, John Meehan, and fat phobia in super hero movies. We then wrap up with taking a look at Christina's latest TikTok curations.https://tomsegura.com/tourhttps://christinaponline.com/tour-dateshttps://store.ymhstudios.com/https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast

Hey guys, head on over to ymhstudios.com slash rentals. You can get a seven day pass to watch YMH Live 8, the greatest one yet. I want this guy to be like, and then you look right here in the crotch and you can see everything is right here. Full package. Do you want the bigger package?

Speaking of packages, I did some homework for your mom's house. Welcome to your mom's house. It's hot today, so make sure you drink water. Welcome. We're back, your mom's house podcast. We're back in Austin. It has been a minute.

We were doing the show from Los Angeles, from the old studio, which they actually put dynamite in there and they blew it up. Oh my goodness, hopefully we got all of our important chachkies out of there. I think some of those things were lost in the damage. Oh no.

Okay. Well. It's good to be home, it's good to be back. I heard some people lost their lives. It's okay, it was in a very bad neighborhood. Yeah, and the thing is about bad neighborhoods that when you lose people there, it doesn't really matter. No.

What is important is to save people in good neighborhoods. Absolutely, Tom. I mean, it was littered with homeless people and the strip mall that was nearby didn't have anything good. It was like a Yoshi Noya, which nobody ever eats at Yoshi Noya, let's be honest. If you want to look back, not too long ago,

there was a massive fires in Bel Air and Malibu and the fire department did the right thing. They made sure to save those nice people's houses and lives. Of course, of course. They responded in a timely manner. They knew that the fire was gonna go into other neighborhoods and they let those fires continue. And they saved the valuable homes,

the valuable contributors. And that's why we want to salute the fire departments today of a society that value high value people. That's what a fire department is for. Protecting those who matter. Protecting the wealthy, particularly. This is true, Tom. Well, good to be back.

We got to explore our old LA haunts for a minute. I, for one, was really, I like to eat my way through every city, you know what I mean? I just did Cleveland, so I was eating a lot of sausage and just real fattening good stuff. And I feel like LA is sushi for me, sushi and then Mexicano food. And also, Erwan, which is,

let's see how Nadav spelled that. Erwan is a step up from Whole Foods, let's be honest. It's like Whole Farts is really expensive, but then Erwan is where the Kardashians go. Well, it's smaller, it's more exclusive. If I were a fire department, I would protect it first. Yeah. You put your hose on there first.

But may I tell you something about Erwan? Is that there's a lot of useless shit there. It's like, do you want coconut agave sugar? No, I don't want any of that stuff. Well, the one percenters like their stuff. They like their weird shit, but you know what I did eat a lot of while I was there at Erwan? What?

They're jalapeno, keto muffins. And they're so disgusting and they're chalky and they get stuck in my throat, but I love them. And I could not stop eating them. Do you ever eat something so disgusting, but you're like hooked on it? I don't know if I have real gnarly taste that people go like, ugh, too.

Well, I disagree. I think you like mayonnaise a lot more than most. I mean, white people love mayonnaise. I mean, first of all, mayonnaise is not like one of these condiments. It's for white people. Any? Correct me?

It's for white- No correction needed, man. Let me just say the black community does not like mayonnaise. And I'll tell you one thing. I stand against the black community on this issue. I really do. And it's one, if I could just be clear about this, I don't support black people when it comes to this. Mayonnaise lives matter?

I mean, I think they're so fucking out of their minds with this, you know? They hate it. They do and they all, it seems like they do it in unison and uniform messages, you know, these mayonnaise. Yes. Mayonnaise is not like a hard-defined condiment. You're like, do you have a special store

that might have mayonnaise? Wait a minute. It's a very common condiment. It is common, Tom, but white people have also made variants. For instance, aioli, mayonnaise, whatever. It's fucking mayonnaise with some orange stuff in it. No, but there are variants. You're right.

There's the garlic, aioli, there's the spicy mayonnaise. There's all different types of mayonnaise. I'm a big fan of all of them. And if that means that I just get to say, if black people are wrong, then I don't mind, you know? I don't mind. Annie, on behalf of all black people, why do you guys hate mayonnaise?

Yeah, why? What's wrong with you? I mean, it's gross. It's not, I don't know, man. Hot sauce is the best. Not mayonnaise, you know what I'm saying? We don't like that shit around here. Tastes like fucking ranch dressing.

I love ranch dressing. I love ranch dressing. You don't like ranch? Nah, I mean. Are you an American? What's your dressing if you had to go with the dressing? Hot sauce. No.

Hot sauce and a salad. Stop. But if you had to have a salad dressing, if you had to have an actual salad dressing. I'm out of there then. Okay, well what's- You're out of there? There's no dressing we would do?

No, hot sauce. Well, so then what's the salad dressing of black people? If you're not gonna tell me then what you like, what do black people like? First of all, what niggas you know eat in the salad? Hey, not true. I have a black friend and I bought her a salad recently and you're right, it came with ranch

and she was like, no. Really? Yeah. She doesn't like mayonnaise either. Just say it. They're different. Yeah. Different.

All right, well look, let's get this clip going and then we can get back into this conversation. It's a very, very important discussion. This is a very important conversation. All right, here, here, here you go. She's just a little maggot lesson. Who do you me a favor and identify yourself? PCTW here.

And where are you based? And they? Right, is a part of the police's policy to sit there and stay around members of the public. Who do you think you are? All she's done is eyeball me the two times, I've drunk past watching what the uniform on and getting ego. Who do you think you are?

I'm a taxpayer, you're here to save me, mate. All right, so explain yourself. I wasn't eyeballing you, mate. You was eyeballing you. I was just fucking rubbing neck of you and you were still looking. Listen, mate, I'm not your average member of the public. You can sit there and make all you want, right?

They'll be having a nice letter before claim for you. Explain yourself. Oh, it's red. Don't bring anyone above it, will you? What? Come on, the fuck is there? Welcome, welcome. Welcome to your mom's house.

With Tom Segura. Tom Segura. And Christina Pajitzi. Christina Pajitzi. Welcome to your mom's house. Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow. Meow, meow.

Meow, meow. Meow. Meow. Where's our house? Where's our house? Pretty cool. So a lot of people don't know that that's that's in Tampa. As a fat smoker that lives in Tampa.

Yeah. Mom's a really crazy clip. I don't understand any of it. Yeah. I mean, definitely those fed vibes though, right? Yeah. Touch my camera through the fence, you faggot. Yeah.

Oh, my God. No, this is the UK fat smoker, I guess. And he can't. This cop is just like, hmm, doesn't know what's going on. Yeah. And he's just approached by this guy who's really, you know, fired up about the fact that he's being stared at by this cop. And he's like, I'm not looking at you.

Can we, do you know what part of, where are we talking about? What is this? Where in the UK is this? I didn't pick up where it was. Let me try to listen. You're the master of accents. I feel like you should have a lock on this clip already. Oh, here, where?

What's it here? Stadfordshire? Stadfordshire. Yeah. So this is in England. And where's England? Where's England? It's in the United Kingdom.

Duh. Come on, guys. This is third grade stuff. Well, explain yourself, do you? No, you wait. You were looking directly at me when I was there and when I was over there. So explain yourself.

You're a public savings. I'm a member of the public. Is that part of your policy to intimidate the public? I think not. So address your attitude, lads. All right? Because I'm not your average member of the public. And as I don't tell you, like I tell the rest of them,

I'll sit off, I'll follow you zone, and then I'll put you's addresses online and see how you's like that. All right? I'm not strange as a staffer to believe slads and stuff. All right? So next time address your attitude and don't ever, ever hide from me again.

All right? This cop has like a really good disposition about this, though. I think this might be the greatest reaction ever to a psycho. Well, you know, I noticed that too. I think it's actually, it's part of shock and processing with someone because I noticed that with Fed Smoke or two there's a lot of times when he would come with the business that you'd get a lot of just, you know, kind of staring.

And I think it's because they're like, what's happening right now? I think that's actually some of what's going on. Some of it is he's just like, be calm, you know, don't overreact, but some of it's also like, what is happening right now? And you know what you just made me think of is the reason why men expose themselves in public

is to get the reaction of like, oh, no, don't do that. And I think part of Fed Smoker's joy was getting the reaction. And this guy perfectly neutralizes Fed Smoker vibes, but don't give it any sort of credence. Don't give it anything. Because like the famous, you know, hey, what kind of job, you know, how do you get a job here, fuckface? That guy starts to escalate and that fires herk up.

You know what I mean? More, yeah. So that's the whole thing is like calm and neutral just gets them to walk away. And if you go, the fuck do you say to me? And he goes, I'll tell you what I fucking said, you know? Yeah, it's really interesting. Gosh, valuable lesson.

So if any, like a hurt comes up to you, you know what to do. I learned this lesson at home with my family. With your sisters and your mother. Neutral. Don't take the bait. Don't ever take the bait. Gosh, that is so true. Don't take the bait.

Don't get into the fight. Don't get into the fight. That's how you do it. Serious. Serial. And here's the thing. Go ahead. Mayonnaise is amazing.

Okay, let's bet. Yeah, this is a really big topic. Also, ketchup and mayonnaise together. That's what he likes. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. That's what he likes. Hold on, hold on. I mean, what you said is kind of foul,

but did you say, did you say ketchup? Oh, wow. Oh, instead of ketchup? Yeah, ketchup. I think you mean cat's up. Cat's up? Yeah. It's pronounced, it's spelled cat's up in some parts too,

but it's ketchup. You said cat's up. Is America one of those places that I don't know what it's pronounced? Why don't we look up the pronunciation, you know, like our computer lady? I don't think I say ketchup. No. You said cat's up.

No, that's what I'm saying. The correct pronunciation might be, oh, it says ketchup. Yeah. Cat's up. But I don't say that. Cat's up. Yeah, I don't say that.

Cat's up. You say cat's up. Yeah. Yeah. I say cat's up. Yeah, you do. I don't say ketchup. Cat's up.

You know why? I'm gonna fuckin' moron. And it goes great, it goes great with mannings. Mayo and ketchup. Yeah. You blend them together? Yeah, he dips his french fries in it. Yeah, the French do that a lot too.

Yeah, Europeans, Western Europe, definitely not Eastern Europe. Yeah, Western Europe does that a lot. I don't do that. Do you have ketchup? Cat's up. Cat's up. You fuckin' tool. Cat's up.

Where do you think you picked up cat's up? Is that Southern? Is that like your dad maybe? That's colloquial. Colloquial. You know what most university people say like that? No, sure. Okay.

Okay. Yeah. What do you say? I say ketchup. Yeah. Cat's up. Cat's up. Cat's up.

You say cat's up. Like my mother would pluralize it. So I hear it say cat's up. That's how I would say. Cat's up. Cat's up. Yeah, I like, so how do you feel? You don't like Thousand Island?

You don't like, I can't believe you don't like ranch. I feel like ranch is like, it's so American and delicious. Do you like? Almost everybody likes ranch. Do you like ketchup? Yeah, do you like ketchup? Fuckin' communist. No, I'm not a big fan of ketchup

because it's basically just like weak hot sauce. Right, it's like sweet. It's kind of sweet, so yeah. It's like sweet hot sauce. Do you like mustard? I could fuck with mustard. I could fuck with a good mustard. Like a spicy brown mustard?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, something good. Yeah, a good mustard, for sure. I like mustard too. I like all kinds, I don't like Russian dressing. I hate blue cheese. It just tastes like, like, it's like so chunky. Do you like steak sauce? Steak sauce?

Um, I don't know, I don't really have steaks except when I'm with y'all. I don't really eat steaks like that, I don't know. You know, actually that's true. Every time we've taken him out to dinner, even to like steak houses, he likes to eat the bread. He'll eat like baskets and baskets of bread and then eat the steak on top of it.

He's got an amazing capacity to eat. He does, yeah. It's really crazy. It's so crazy, dude. Is it considered a sauce, or what is it? A fucking dressing? If you just put like oil and vinegar in the salad? Yeah, that's dressing.

Is that what you do? Cause I guess that's as far as I go, yeah. Yeah, that's like the cleanest, kind of healthiest one you can do, basically. That's balsamic. Well, what? Balsamic? Balsamic?

Balsami? Oh my God. How do you think you spell balsamic? I know this one, I know this one. B-A-L-S-A-A-M-I-C, balsamic? That's it, that's it though, isn't it? Wait a minute, that's wrong. No, he's right, but then why did he say balsamic?

Balsamic. No, no, balsamic. Is this another base pro shop? How are you supposed to say it? Hatch up. Hatch up. Hatch up. That's how it's said.

So wait, do black people like, do you just learn it like when you're born like, oh man, it sucks? Like, is this culturally passed down? It is very cultural. You try it and you're like, this is not for me. And then every other black person was like, this is not for me. Yeah, it's probably because our culture doesn't cook

that shit into stuff, so by the time we eat it, it's like a weird ass taste. Yeah, it's not right. It's probably like that, yeah. Okay. And there's also things that I'm supposed to like that I don't like. For instance?

Like, I don't think caviar is good. I've tried it a few times. I think it's fucking taste disgusting and I don't know what the big deal is. I'll say this about caviar. I don't think it's disgusting. I like it, I enjoy it. I don't go, oh my God, you know, this is,

oh, I can't believe that we get to have caviar. Like, this is my favorite. I just kind of eat it. I wouldn't even say indifferent, I'm favorable to it, but I'm not like, you know, flipping out for it. And there is a difference. There's a huge difference in the quality stuff. You know, like you can get really high quality stuff.

You definitely note the difference. That's a good point is oysters. I hate oysters too. Yeah, you can definitely taste the difference in quality. Sea urchin is one where I learned why sea urchin sucks sometimes. Why? It's because it's one of the only like fish products

that they don't have to dispose of because it doesn't go basically bad. You buy fish, if you're a restaurant, you know, I don't know, a day or two, they're like, okay, we have to dispose of this fish now. But the sea urchin doesn't go bad for a while. So you can be served sea urchin that's five or six days old.

It's not gonna make you sick, but it's not fresh anymore. And that restaurant, a lot of times, will still hold on to it and serve it. So what you're eating is just like not fresh. You don't really know that. Then you go have fresh sea urchin somewhere and it is notably different. And what sea urchin is at the orange bubbles?

Yeah, it's like, I hate it too. It's a lot of, it has like this almost spongy-like quality to it, you know? I don't think I've ever eaten it, no thanks. But that fresh tastes way different. So what you're not being told when you've had bad ones or ones you didn't like is like, you're basically eating kind of rotten sea urchin,

but it's not gonna make you sick. It's not like five-day-old salmon or something, you know? Right, it's not gonna make you sick, but it doesn't taste as good as the fresh. It doesn't taste as good as fresh, yeah. Got you. And you know what I tried for the first time in my life? Cause I was in Cleveland at the Hilarities

and they have it on the menu, Dom Perignan. Oh yeah. And I thought to myself, I says, Christine, you deserve a bottle of Dom Perignan. And they bought me a bottle, Hilarities, and it honestly was no big deal. It was just very dry. It's bubbly, champagne.

And can I tell you though, the trade that is Joe brand, this brand called Schloss Bibrich, which is like a $15 bottle, tastes better to me than Dom Perignan. That's one of those things where the name is so well, like the brand is such an incredible brand name because it's associated with luxury.

When you're a kid and you don't know anything about anything, you learn things like Rolex, Dom, Mercedes, and these are the brands of greatness, like aspirational brands. And then through your own life and experience, maybe you get to try each of these and they have their own effect on you. But I'm somebody like you when it came to this,

I was like, that's rich people stuff. I remember trying, I got to try it in high school. Somebody had it for like a prom or something and I was like, oh my God. And then kind of you're like third sip, you're like, I mean, yeah, it's good, I guess. I guess, but I will say the good thing is because it wasn't sweet.

It tasted like it wasn't as sugary, so I didn't have a hangover from it the next day because it was good quality, you could tell. And the cheap stuff will give you a hangover because it's full of sugar, I think. Maybe, I don't know enough about champagne. I learned that that time that I drank that $5,000 bottle.

That's crazy. Did you tell that story on the show? I'm sure I did a while ago. I think about it a lot. I had dinner with Dana White and Brogan and a couple other people and he ordered multiple bottles of it. And...

It's crazy. It was pretty crazy that we had, that particular bottle was a bottle of red from Italy and it was really good. Everybody liked it, right? But when you learn the price, you go, I don't know, does this taste this many times better than a $100 bottle of wine?

I know. And the answer is no. But then you learn that the reason you're paying or someone is paying that much is really just because of the exclusivity of it. It's because that vintage makes a small number of bottles. So there's only, the less there is of something. Right, the more rare.

The more rare and if there's demand, the price goes up. If they made 200,000 bottles of that thing a year, the price wouldn't be that. But if they go, we make 20 cases a year, that's their price. It's capitalism, homie. That's the way it goes. So the flavor is good.

But there is this point where you're like, this is how much? Like this is fucking crazy. But there's also stuff where like grapes are from such like they only grow every so often in this specific region and the minerals that are in the wine, maybe because it's rare or whatever. Yeah, I agree.

I don't, I guess there are investments too, like wine, like some rich people buy bottles of wine. There's people that have incredible wine collections. That just drink their investment, which is interesting. Pass it on or sell their, yeah, all these things, yeah. But I think a lot of this stuff is turning south right now, a lot of the luxury stuff because of the recession, the recession that has, I guess,

I don't know if it's officially begun, but. Yeah, it's still not happening yet, they say. Yeah, but things are, things you can see that prices of luxury items are going down. Second, I mean, you know, in the aftermarket. Interesting. Interesting, Tom.

So that's usually because less people are going to be buying them, you know. And you know, I was actually upset with myself that I don't enjoy caviar. Yeah. Because it's so Eastern European, like. And it's so fancy. You're supposed to be, you're sophisticated if you like it.

Yeah, and I'm like, am I such a donkey that I don't understand why this is amazing and maybe I am a donkey, because I don't like it. You know what I like about caviar? Yeah. That cracker, remember last time we had it in LA? And then you use a cracker and like that chive and the sour cream, I could eat that all day, dude,

like a pizza of that. One thing, I'm very comfortable saying about you, you do not have a sophisticated power. It's very clear. And you know what though? I'm done being ashamed of it. I'm trash and I like trashy food. Cool.

I love trash food. Yeah. I just bought a thing. Own it. Fresh shaky cheese in the house. And I use that over fresh Parmesan any day, I hate it. Sometimes you eat it just right out of the thing. I did.

I ate it out of my hand today. I pour this shaky cheese in my palm and then I lick it out. I just did it today right before I came here. Well, this is because this is who you're from. One man and one woman. It's a lot of work. Family ties shall be based on the marriage

or the relationship between parents and children. To sum up, the mother is a woman, the father is a man and leave our kids alone. Food stop, end of discussion. He's so popular in the... In some circles. The younger Hungarians, not so much, but like the older peeps, they're down with Victor, big time.

I mean, is he speaking at CPAC there? Isn't that that conservative, like, right? Fund, whatever it is, that fuels the, or funds the Republican arm. Yeah, Dallas. Yeah, yeah. They're like, bring in fucking Victor. Victor Orban.

Well, that's what my people want. Leave my people alone. That's what they like. Leave our kids alone. He said, full stop, end of discussion. End of discussion. Full stop, that's British. No Hungarians, no one say full.

He picked that up from the Brits. Well, yeah. He's learning British. He's speaking English. It's a second language, so. Full stop. You know, I just met somebody that went to Hungary and they went to the Bulletin.

They're like, yeah, we went to the Bulletin. It was great. I'm like, what's the Bulletin? Exactly. So if you had your choice of places to go, would you go, go ahead and Google Lake Bulletin. It's just like kind of a, I mean, I know no offense to the Hungos listening,

but Bulletin is not the best body of water. It's just a body of water. It's outside. Yeah, it's a little grayer in person. I've been there. I don't know how it got blue, but when I was a kid, that's what it looked like. That's what I got to see.

That's where I went as a kid. And it was like an old rusty water slide and not very good. But I guess it's better now. And my parents would force me to go there in the summertime. It was terrible. I liked my memory. My best memory of Hungary was when I got to Budapest,

I got picked up by a driver who was Hungarian. And he spoke Hungarian, obviously, some English, but he spoke really good Spanish. Because he was a tennis player. And when he was younger, and so his family, when they were trying to kind of develop his potential, moved to Spain for a while. So we ended up speaking in Spanish in the car,

which was fun. It was just like rapping with this guy in Hungary and Spanish. And he's a young guy still. And he's like, oh, I shared a few Hungarian words. He was like, oh, good, good. He's like, what are you excited about? I was like, oh, I'm excited to shoot a porn while I'm here.

And because I knew that the industry is there, and he goes, I can set this up for you. And I was like, no, I'm kidding. He goes, I'm not. I can get you everything. He's like, it's very easy. I'm like, oh my god. Yeah, he was just like right on top of it.

Lot of strip clubs. Last time I was there. Many girls. So many women, good women, men. Stop fucking with our children. Shoot your scene. We shoot this. We put it up for you.

Very easy. We got to go to Hungary. When are we going to take our children there to see my heritage? Take them to Lake Bolethon. Bolethon? Yeah. It isn't. So, man, they make it look way nicer.

Yeah, that's a nice photograph. That is, listen, last time I was there, it did not look like that. It's just a gray lake. And it's so sad. There's just stones up until the water. And then you take a ladder down into the dirty water. It goes up to your waist, maybe.

And there's good food. Look how many people are there. It's really not the Riviera. They make it out to look better than it is. The only good thing is Longush, this Hungarian treat that you can get in the summertime out there. I mean, I used to just hide and smoke cigarettes and abandon Russian bunkers when I would go there.

I just hated it. But look at this. The Guardian wants you to look at the lily pads and shit. I mean, I don't know. She seems happy. Yeah, maybe they really did a redo on this Bolethon, but. Yeah, it seems. The only thing I could get too was alcohol.

Like the stuff that made you go blind that they make out there. This like, what's that called? Moonshine. They make their own moot. Polinka or whatever out there. Feels like that would be very common in Hungary. Yeah, see, this is the shit that I remember.

Just like. That looks way shittier right there. Yeah, it's super shitty. Did you have to do like Peruvian shitty things and pretend they were cool too? Like I had to pretend like Bolethon was rad when I went because my relatives would take me. And you have to be like, yeah, this is amazing.

Like I live in LA. I go to the Pacific Ocean. This fucking sucks. Uncle. Yes, shitty that is. That's what it's like. That's what it's like. My uncle took me on a tour one time

of like all the churches and like, you know, the tunnels that were in them and explained to me all, you know, and with a guide and I was like, I was 14. I was like, yeah. And he's like, let's go to the next one. And you go in there and it would have like a passageway underneath, you know, of like whatever, 500 year old. And you know, you see it one or two and you're like,

oh, cool. And then he's like, we will now go to the next church and you will see how that's laid out. Churches. I know. Fucking 14 years old man. I don't want to see all these churches. That's so funny.

Cause that's what they did to me too. Like let's go look at this church and this. I'm like, I don't want to see a church. I'm a teenager. With when you get older, you realize they're just trying to show you like, you know, Culture and also something they're proud of, right? Because it's architecturally impressive.

And yeah, there's history to it. But you're 14. You want to go smoke cigarettes and find alcohol and find chicks. Party man. Let's party. You know what you would like in in Budapest and anybody listening, if you're going to Budapest,

go see the Terror Haas. The Terror Haas Museum. It's Terror House Museum. It's a museum dedicated to how the KGB tortured people and what the Nazis did to people. It's fucking intense, dude. The Terror Haas, it's on Andresi Utsakh. It's so fucking cool.

It's like a history of how they basically tortured Hungarians. That's it right there? Yeah. That's a real tank. They lowered it in from the ceiling. And it's like how the Soviet Union basically fucked up its own citizens. It's pretty neat.

That's just the outside. You know, there's like, they show you like the torture cells. There's one I'll never forget where the cell is shorter than how a person can stand. Meaning if you stand in the cell, you have to hunch over and then they would fill it with water just to fuck with you. You're like that kind of shit, yeah.

I mean, you like it, right? I thought you're into this stuff, man. I mean, it's fascinating to see how depraved and evil people can get. It's crazy that we do this to each other. Well, the Germans and the Russians. Yeah, but I mean, just human beings. They're not good people.

Human beings do it to each other. No, I know. It is terrible. But it is an interesting museum. I would say that like, if you like museums, this is not for you, but it's for, you know. Like if you want to see art and stuff, boring. Yeah, art's gay.

I'd rather. Like this one's fucking way too long. See this, you're right, you're right. You know, it's interesting. Like you'll cry and stuff. Here's somebody, by the way, I'll show you that Victor Orban, the Hungarian president, would not like, okay?

This is a tailor in, I believe, in China. We pay here as part of the Japanese mafia. He's flown down to Hong Kong. Hong Kong. Just to make a suit for me. He saw all my videos and he wanted me to help him create his signature style. I'm gonna go down on my knees

because they make him very short in Japan. Come on in, look there, dip into the back. It gets better and we will look at his ass in a second. Let me show you the waistcoat. You know how, like opening up boys, you are over 18, right? He's over 18, you heard that, right? Oh my God, what?

Opening up boys, is that what you're talking about? The Japanese cranes for the Yakuza right here. Double breasted waistcoat, head up. Shawl collar, wide Shawl collar to go with the wide peak lapel, absolutely locked in. Cranes on the back, there's the ass. Japanese gorgeous young boy ass. How do you feel, my brother?

Really good, the material is nice and light and it's the perfect color that I wanted. You know, dark green, black green, it's the color. Awesome, this guy's a fucking animal. How are you fucking? Oh my God, talking about his sweet ass. Dude, can you pull up his page? Like what are we doing?

We should be fucking just watching his videos. There's gonna be a deep dive on this guy. Wait, first of all, are you supposed to tell people you're a Yakuza? I think he's fucking with him. I think he's making a joke, you know? He's making a joke. But he's 18.

Yeah, he's making aggressive jokes about, you know, whatever, but I don't know, is that something he does with like every guy that comes on? Oh no, there's an actual little kid. Oh God, let's not, let's see the other stuff. I wanna see him talk to adults. Oh Jesus. He's a copper, you can tell by his socks.

Only coppers wear these socks. Peter here is my hired guard and this jacket is the bribe that I've provided with him. His job is to stop all you haters from coming after me. What have I made for him today? A lavender jacket that suits his character so much. He's touching him, right? Because he's on the payroll,

I can feel him up as much as I want. This is super soft, 100 pure silk marzoni. Can you see my hands? Don't stop rubbing him. Patch poppers, hand madeleine thread, dot, dot, dot, pig stitching everywhere on a wide peak lapel. Jesus Christ. My barquetta breast pocket

with the curve and kick, hands down please. Peak on my pocket square, real marzoni buttons. I have the boy absolutely gift-raffin. He doesn't like tight, tight, tight, but since this is a bribe, he gets tight, tight, tight. We will not look at his butt because I didn't make him the shorts. We will look inside the jacket.

Peter allows me to open him up. Jesus Christ. The nuts, other than opening him up. Right Peter? Tight jacket to rip off, glorious inside, very happy customer, tell him you're happy. Oh, absolutely. I've never been happier.

All right, let's get to the next one. I will say he hid Peter's gut very nicely. No, the jackets, suit jackets, suits in general, there's a reason why they've lasted generations is that it can make any man, it can basically make any man look good or the best version you could look. Suits are amazing, and if you are trying to cover

something up, you have some flaw, getting into a suit is the best idea. Yeah, because Peter's body is, what is it, 10 pounds of shit in a five pound bag? But when he wears that lilac jacket, Yeah, yeah, yeah. He looks stunning. Poor Peter's, I mean, he's an older man, come on.

Yeah, but he's a, you know, he doesn't matter. You gotta try to hold your shit together. You have to try, but Jesus, give him a break. I'm sorry, he looks good in the suit. He does look good in the suit. Trying to compliment the suit. Okay, let's see him sexually harass a couple more people. My name's Nick Thomas.

And how did you find me? Instagram. This guy was stalking me every way, just showed him live stream after live stream after live stream, listen man, you gonna pull the trigger? He goes, I cannot wait to get to Hong Kong to pull the trigger. He goes, I go, no, you can't come here, send me your measurements, he goes, forget about it.

I'm coming to see you, I've seen so much of you. And he really showed up, he endured quarantine to see me. And now I have him absolutely stacked in my signature details. Look at this, horn button, hand needle, and thread, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, pig stitching, my fish mouth lapel, a la James Bond, accent color in the buttonhole,

bouquet of breast pocket, peak of the pocket square, rose runs, undersized pocket flaps, slanted pocket flaps, kissing ticket pocket, okay. Gauntlet cuffs, baby, I love this, pig stitch gauntlet cuffs. Maybe the next one. Well, I'll play guess to the S.

Buttons in mother of pearl, fully functional cuffs, accent color down here to match the one up there. We've got the same thing on the other side. I mean, it's pretty amazing, his detail. I think he's a phenomenal tailor. Oh, he wrapped in my 4D fit, who says I can't gift wrap a big man? And we're gonna look at him as, you know me?

Because everybody in a sans-saint apartment wants to show off their ass. Half lining for Hong Kong, because we are hot, hot, hot here. When you're in my pants, you happily show off your ass. Are you happy? Extremely. Thank you.

Young man. I mean. I almost want to send Zolo to Hong Kong, and he would have a field day with baby Zolo. His cute little 21-year-old tush. That guy would molest him. I mean, do you think this guy is just, he's tethering all day and just crushing ass all night?

I mean, in Hong Kong is a 24-7 city, you know? Like, that's a city you can go out at like 4 in the morning. And I just feel like he's probably been like, oh, I fucked half the city or something, you know? And anything you want and anything you want to find, you're gonna find in Hong Kong. And here's the truth. I'll be honest with you, okay?

Okay. I want to reach out. I know. I really want to reach out. I want you to get a suit with him, but I don't want him feeling you up. He's gonna feel me up. It's part of the deal.

Babe, if you hit him up, there's him like, look, Tom Segura, famous comedian, do you make him? Do we fly him out? No, I'm going to Hong Kong. You're gonna go to Hong Kong? Yeah. Oh my God.

Sam. Even that has like some kind of like after party vibes. CD vibes, yeah. Yeah. Athletes, celebrities, yeah. He's got famous people, okay? I wonder if he gives them the bit.

Oh my God. Oh my God. It's like Clinton. You know what would be great is if this was just a recent thing. Like he just started to open up like this where he's just like, I go out. Now I fucking grope, dudes.

Like, you know, he was super professional with some of these people. With Clinton, he had to be, right? Well, actually, I don't know. Oh, Michael Palin. Yeah, there's George H.W. Oh, gosh, he's so official, I had no idea. Yeah, it's good stuff.

Well, and I think that is something that maybe happens with age, is where you're like, I don't give a shit anymore. I'm just gonna be eccentric. Yeah. Yeah, who's the other guy? Is that like his dad, maybe? Taught him the biz or something?

Could be, a lot of this stuff has passed down, yeah. Yeah, that's cool. Very, very impressive. Do you think his dad spanked boy asses? I think this is all him. Second generation stuff? I think this is Sam. Oh, look, Sarah Palin got her butt spanked by him.

Oh, yeah. Oh, by the dad. Dang, that's cool. Yeah. Really nice suits though, my goodness. I mean, clearly this guy does good work. Really good work. I like the blue suit that he's in.

Go back to the other page, the previous page, and athletes, cause I feel like he might be, maybe a little friskier with them. Oh, that didn't, same page? Looks like the same. Yeah, that's not fair, you can't do that. Website's broken, it looks like. Oh, I love you, a new jar.

Yep, Bruno Mars is there. Wow. God, this is gonna be my new favorite rabbit hole to go down every day. I know, you have to find him next time you're in Hong Kong for sure. Absolutely. And make a sketch, show us what it was like

to get assaulted by that guy. Yeah. Yeah, but I mean, this guy, I want this guy to be like, and then you look right here in the crotch, you can see everything is right here. Full package, do you want the bigger package? Speaking of packages, I did some homework for your mom's house.

You know, apropos our discussion of Henry Cavill, which who can forget, I watched Man of Steel just to go on a dick hunt, just to see if I could get any kind of intel on what that looks like. And unfortunately, the suit, it's really not that telling, so I don't have much to report. Other than, I was a little disappointed

in their choice of co-star, his love interest, not cute enough for Henry Cavill. Oh, nice. Well, I mean, look, I think he's stunning, and I really wish they would have, I think her name is Amy Adams, is that her name? Amy Adams. She's very lovely, no disrespect.

Yeah, no disrespect. You're very talented. I'm just saying, my guy deserves a little, you know, I mean, she's a little, she knows her type. Yeah. Her type in show business. That's like, they're casting me as his lady. I, you know, it should be somebody, Margot Robbie,

or something. Now, what do you think? Let me ask you this. What's the real life? Nobody gets it all, right? Nobody gets it all. Physically, Giff, he's blessed. He's also supposed to be very smart.

Oh, wow. Like he's an intelligent guy, I'm saying. Kind of a nerd, likes nerdy thing. So what is, what's the big flaw? What's the thing where you're like, ah, Jesus, what do you think it is? It's interesting. What if the flaw is that he's into like the nerdiest stuff,

and it's totally something you're not into, like trains, or. Yeah, yeah. He, apparently, I learned this from Arshow, is that he live streamed himself, like putting together a computer, like, you know, like putting the parts together and like assembling it. But I don't think that's a big enough flaw.

I think there's gotta be like glaring flaws. Okay, okay, okay, here's the deal breaker for me. There's a few. Anything were you're fervently into it. For instance, there's this girl on TikTok who I did a side-by-side with, and she was like, this sign is very wrong. And it was like the word feminine care, a target.

It's wrong because not all women are menstruators, and not all menstruators, but like somebody that's an activist, and like super, like you can't even have a good time with them. He cares about the public too much. Well, like. Like.

But like, let's say he's such an activist, and everything is political, and everything is like an offense to him. That would really bother me. Oh, all right. Like super woke. I can't take it. Yeah, like just relax, have a coke and a smile.

But let's just say, if you don't know, it could be like, and then secondly is somebody with very strict eating habits. That probably is true. Which fucking destroy me. Like I'm a vegan, and I don't eat egg, but I don't eat cheese, and why I only eat oats, and then I'm like fuck off.

No, that's for sure there. I mean, he definitely has to take care of himself to look like that. So he's probably, it's very strict eating habits. But he would also have to preach to me about why he does the veganism. Yeah, and that would be a thing. And I'd have to hear about the cruelty to animals,

and why you shouldn't worry about it. Where he's like old school, like Downton Abbey style, when it comes to sex, where he's like, I will never put my mouth in your nether regions. He's like, that's where you go to the bathroom. Oh, like he won't, oh, that would, that's a deal breaker. Right, he's just like, oh. And he thinks a woman's body is unclean.

Yeah, but he's not, he probably fucking, he'll probably spit in your face. You don't know, you don't know. No, you don't know. Wait, so what would be your deal breaker? Deal breaker for like a super hottie? Yeah. Oh, man.

So if she's physically perfect, right, that's what we're going with. She's physically perfect. I mean, obviously if she's religious, like too religious. Oh yeah. And she's like, you know, Tom, Jesus says. Oh yeah, Margot Robbie's. She's perfect.

That's who I wanted to see Superman with, honestly. Yeah, I would. Honestly, she plays Barbie, dude. I would spend time with her. Yeah, everybody would. I'd lick her beaver. She's perfect. Yeah.

Who doesn't want to lick fucking Margot Robbie's snatch? She's perfect. Okay, but go ahead. So what's your, so it's Margot Robbie. And she's like, is Jesus your personal Lord and savior? Like that's deal breaker, right? Yeah, I mean, if she was super religious, that's out of the gate.

If she, I don't know, if she just laughed at stupid shit all day, you know, that's a real deal breaker too. Like if her, like what she finds funny made me go like, I think that's an actual deal. I actually feel like that's a serious deal. Like for instance, you come home and she's like, oh my God, babe, good news.

The Big Bang Theory marathon is on. Oh yeah. I mean, it just couldn't last. And she's LOLing. Yeah, I agree with that. It's like every stupid sitcom. You try, here's the thing, you would try. You'd be like, oh yeah.

But I think that actually, it's not just about watching the Big Bang Theory. It's gonna bleed into other things that like. It's a taste thing. Yeah, your taste and your humor has to kind, you don't have to have the same sense of humor, but you can't be like, where you don't find any of the same things funny.

That's a big deal. That's tough. You have to have some of them have to line up. That's so true. That's so true. Cause I can't even be friends with people that don't share a sense of humor. That's really basic.

If she never knew what she wanted to do or what she liked, that would make me crazy. That is the most annoying trait. Super annoying trait. I don't know, whatever. Again, you would like. God. You would tolerate it for a minute,

but ultimately you would just be like, I can't. Because that's the thing. All the superficial stuff has a expiration date. Yeah. And I don't mean like literally it does in that somebody people will age and they won't be as beautiful. They become handsome women.

That day. No. But I mean, it has an expiration date in how long you can tolerate it. Yeah. You know, you just can't tolerate that stuff for that long. You just go like, no, I can't do this. Yeah.

I think anybody that's too political. Oh yeah. If I would have to hear about politics. All the time. I'd be like, dude, I've really fucked it. Or if somebody is super offended by, you know, words and expressions and thoughts that don't line up with theirs.

Oh my God. Yeah. I mean, if they're always being like, can you believe? Yeah. What the Republican party did to you? I mean, dude, I don't care, I fucking don't care. You know, it's another annoying, but small but mighty annoying thing.

And you and I know people in like our families or whatever. The person that insists on getting the photograph of everything you do. Every moment. Yeah. Come on guys, get together. And it's like, can we just enjoy? Yeah.

I don't need to commemorate every moment of my life. I'm probably never gonna look at this photo to be fair. You know what actually you bring that up. And I was just at Niagara Falls and of course I took photos, I took photos. But what stands out to me, like what I recall the most are the moments where I wasn't taking a photo. You're just standing there looking at this thing.

Like the might and the power of that waterfall. Yeah, and I have burned into my memory those moments, not the moment of the camera up taking the pictures. You know? Yeah. And they have that, you know, there's this a tale that or this, what is it called? The famous lure that if you stand

and you stare long enough that you'll want to jump in. Oh, cool. And I wanted to. Really? Apparently about 40 people do a year. Yeah, 40, that's it. A year? On the Canadian side or the American side?

Oh, I don't know which side, but you know, they die. Yeah, no, I get it. I understand what you're saying. But I wonder if that's, I wonder if the Golden Gate Bridge gets more jumpers than the Niagara Falls. Interesting. Can you please Google that? Who climates suicide, what structure more?

That's interesting, because the Niagara Falls, can you survive, you can't survive that, right? You can, it's very not common. Yeah. Well, it's also not common to survive Golden Gate. Well, no, cause you're, it's like hitting cement. Right. Such a high.

So both of them, usually you're gonna. You're gonna die. You're gonna fail. Yeah. So you felt polled? 20, 30 people a year go over the falls. The majority of them die. Our deaths are suicides.

Most take place from the Canadian. Canadian side. Many of those suicides are not publicized by officials. Yeah. Yeah. Canada side takes all the suicides. Yeah. And the Americans.

It's real easy to hop over. Yeah. Yeah. A lot. Okay. I don't think we can talk about this on YouTube, can we? It's just staring at that water. It was drawing me in.

It was drawing me in. All right, Tom. Okay. No, no, but let's see how many a year. Not between 1937 and 2012. I don't wanna do the math. Yeah, about the same. Oh.

Yeah. TIT for TAT. Oh yeah, Golden Gate Bridge. We'll see you at the falls. I too have been to Niagara Falls, but on the American side. And I took many pictures that day. And guess how many times I've looked at those photos?

So many times. Fucking 0.0. Do you ever think about taking a dip while you're there? I did wanna take a barrel over it, like in the cartoons. Yeah, yeah. Oh, people do that too. And they think they'll be fine. And they're not.

The force. That's the thing that you're, I think it's 700,000 gallons a second or something's falling over. Shut up. I swear to God. It is so powerful. Okay, let's see how fast it is.

Can you Google how fast you would fall from Niagara Falls? I'm wondering what the velocity is. Yeah, that power is. Actually, now hold on. Now, Yana, when we're thinking about suicide, if you're gonna jump, that's just your own body weight that gets pulled, right? Right, jumping off the bridge, let's say.

The bridge, sorry. Or like, if one were to jump off anything. But when you go at the falls, you're under the- You're getting pulled. And pushed. And pushed. So, but I'm saying- Hard.

It's real hard. What would be faster? Yeah. Do you know what I'm saying? Okay, what are you trying to tell us, no dog? That it's- I'm from a physics perspective. 68 miles per hour.

With the Niagara Falls pushing you down. And what about- Okay, so what about just jumping off of a bridge? Let's say a hundred and, I don't know, 80 pound adult. Cause that- How fast do you hit the water jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge? He's never gonna figure this out.

Be here to fucking- I don't think weight matters, right? Cause gravity just- Force equals mass times acceleration. 9.8 meters per second squared. Who knows meters squared? Okay. No, because listen, if you drop a penny

off the Empire State Building, theoretically it could fucking, can it kill somebody? Okay. Didn't you hear that? 68 miles an hour is fucking, you're moving, dude. You're jamming on the one. Yeah. But I wanna know how fast you hit the water off the bridge.

Me too, cause it's the impact that kills you. It'll break all your- Off the Golden Gate Bridge, just put that there. Just modify the end of that. Cause I'm wondering which is a better death. Not jumping into the Golden Gate Bridge. Okay. Okay, 75 miles per hour.

Jumpers hit the water at set, yeah. Jumpers died you, so- Impact trauma. So you're dying from like breaking all your bones, your head- Oh, head trauma. If you jump out of a car at 75 miles an hour, it's not gonna go well.

So what do you die from of the Niagara Falls? But so the Niagara Falls is drowning. Drowning and- The impact of the water. Well, probably it just knocks you out and then you're underwater. So yeah, yeah. Yeah, you definitely just, you definitely die.

Most people die. Even with the barrel, no one survived the barrel. People have survived the barrel, but it's not, not, it doesn't go well usually, yeah. Yeah, cause Pippi Longstocking did it once. This is not- And Pippi survived. Yeah.

I wonder if I was wearing the right suit in Sam's sweet, tailored ass. If I could survive that fall. Yeah, if you- If you cut my ass, you know what I'm saying. Yeah, don't, don't, you should definitely not try that. Yeah, guys, don't, don't try- No, no, no, no.

You don't want to know. No, I mean, don't, don't do it. No, don't. Don't do this stuff, okay guys? Speaking of don't try this at home, the Jackass movie. Have you seen it? Yes.

There's on Netflix? Yeah. It is, those guys shout out to that whole crew, Johnny Knoxville and all these guys. Steve Oh, and- It was so funny. It's so funny. And I was so impressed with how they handled like,

hey, we're all old now and we're still doing crazy stuff. It was interesting like how they pulled it off because you, you know the crew you know and love. Yeah. Then they brought in this new crew of like younger, fun, like 20 and maybe 30 year old kids. I think most of them are 20s actually, who were down to try all this crazy shit.

It's so funny to watch 20 year olds do the stunts and just go like boop boop and bounce up. I know. They're like that hurt. And then you see these guys 50 doing it and they're like, oh, oh, like barely fucking moving. You're like, oh yeah, this happens when you age. This is, it's a good thing you had some of them.

But it was really entertaining. New, like such crazy new ideas. And I laughed my ass off. So did I. So funny. This show, I mean, I loved it when it first came out. This show, this brand can do no wrong by me. I just, I LOL at stupid stuff like this all the time.

The funniest, the saddest thing I've heard though is that, that I don't want to give everything away, but that the last bit really actually hurt and Knoxville like has some residual effects. You really got fucked up doing that. What these guys want to do for a laugh. I know. It just goes to show like how much they like what they do

and comedy is. And people do. You love what you do. It's so funny. And they love, they fuck with each other all day. Yeah. You know, that shit. Like it reminds you of being in school.

I think that's the part of you. That camaraderie that ends. You have it a little bit. I think in the, like if you're in comedy because you're in a kind of jokey world, but most comedians draw the line into their circles about like pranking each. You know, they don't really prank each other.

They kind of, you kind of do that when you're new, when you're like open mic-ing and you're figuring this whole world out. You guys joke with each other and people fuck and roast each other. That happens in comics. That's so fucking funny dude. It's very fun.

But pranks, like the way these guys hurt each other for a laugh, you know? It's so slap-dicky. I think I love slap-dick humor so much. I just love it. God bless those dudes. You know what's so funny? I always think about like those movie,

those interviews where the actors are like, we were doing pranks on each other on the set. And I'm like, what an annoying asshole. Like you're just, you're trying to just work and some dickhead put a bucket of water or whatever over your door, like, God fuck right off. Yeah, I think most people hit an age where they're like,

nah, don't do that. Don't prank me, shit head, I'm tired. That's kind of, it kind of, you get through that and college is kind of the end of that for most people. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, and even then, it's kind of mean to fucking- It kind of is, yeah, it is. I mean, it's mostly dudes doing it to dudes.

Usually. I mean, one time- Or sadistic dudes doing it to women. I knew a few of those. Really? Yeah. What do they do? It's probably better off, Mike.

Sure. Gosh. Yeah, women generally don't appreciate getting pranked. Yeah, I know. I don't think it's a girl thing. No, I never would because I was weird because I wanted girls to like me. Right?

Yeah. You wanted to get laid. Yeah, yeah, that was the whole- You didn't want to terrify chicks. Speaking of terrifying chicks. Uh-oh. Don't you have a message to read? Something came in?

Oh my God, there's two. I'll let you choose. This seems to be your wheelhouse, my man. Okay. Gosh, these were just sent in for your eyes only. Okay. All right. Ted Bundy tried to get my mom to help him load his boat

at Lake Samamish, is that how you say it? State Park, Washington, 1974. She said no, and later saw him on the news for everything he did. I am dying laughing at the joke that the 50 women deserved it. And he almost killed me when I was an egg, so that could trigger me, yeah.

It could trigger you. That's pretty well. Well, good for her. And by the way, I've just read something that it's true that most attackers and these psychos, they get women that are nice and high and smiling too timid to say no. So be a bitch, that'll save your life.

Well, it's the... Be unlikable in public. It's the same kind of thing in the wild, meaning in nature that predators go after vulnerable. The gazelles, the weaker gazelles. Yeah, somebody that's not big and strong. That's not like, if you watch Lion's Hunt, they don't go, is that the biggest water buffalo?

They go after the one that's slower, meek, older, sick, yeah, young. Let me tell you. So human predators are the same way. When I walk around in public, I got the buttfuckers on those big shades. Remember, what do they call the Halstons? The buttfuckers?

Remember I called them buttfuckers. The Halston, nothing to see here. Dark shades, don't fucking look at me. Not talking to you. Halston, look at his shades. Ladies, go out and buy the Halstons, the sunglasses that he was wearing. There you go.

Nothing to see here, shed head. Keep it moving. I wear them inside, I wear them in the grocery store. Don't even look at me, don't talk to me, don't say hello to me. Wow. And that's not for fans, it's for dudes, it's just psychos. Psychos.

Nothing to see here. Well, the world is full of psychos. Yep. Here's another email. Hey, Christina and Tom, after watching the latest episode where you talked about Dirty John, I thought I would tell you guys this crazy story. My mom dated John Meehan at all four years of high school

and only broke up with him because he was too focused on basketball. But I guess she never realized what a straight up knucklehead he was because they stayed friends. Even after that fucking whack job showed up to her wedding a few years after they broke up and tried to sabotage the thing,

she still kept in touch with him. Still to this day, she has nothing but great things to say about John and refers to him as one of the great loves of her life, fucking wild. She was interviewed by the show's producers and they told her that the stories and memories she has of John were way too positive. And they wouldn't be able to use any of them

because they were trying to paint him in a certain light. What's even more crazy is my mom is a cop here in California and works with detectives putting psychos like John away but she still sees this guy through rose colored glasses. She even admitted that she named me after him. How fucking strange is that? I'm very happy that she dodged that bullet and I'm not the one who had to stab that chomo

in his eyeball, Tata there retards, John. Oh my God, his name is John after dirty John. Well, I mean, maybe she knew him when he was younger in high school, you're different. He didn't have to make a living yet and maybe he was a little more innocent. And also, yeah, he was probably less manipulative or maybe he was manipulative in the way that was flattering

because he could flatter. That's a very common thing for psychos like that to do. So her memories are of all those wonderful times with him. She didn't experience the turn of him going bad. So her memories are good. He was sharpening his tools on her. He was like grooming and learning. It's a really, it's a fascinating series.

I haven't seen the doc on him, the actual, I don't saw the scripted version, but the LA Times piece on him, if you ever want like a really good sit down, read story, is what all this stuff was based on. They did an X, like the actual, the first story book. The LA Times podcast that they did? Well, the podcast came from the journalist

who wrote the story. I'm talking about, I read the story first. Like there was like a seven part story that's really well written that tells the whole story and it's fucking amazing. I almost want to re-watch the series with you just to relive. It was such an incredible story.

I normally don't like these stories, but also Indian Matchmaker is back on Netflix. That's a great one. And I've been waiting for you to come home so that we can watch that one together. We're still doing stranger things. We haven't made it through all that. What if I got matched up with this?

So, so, so, so sick and tired of people asking me for a freaking cigarette every 15 or 20 freaking minutes that I am in this. If you need a cigarette so bad, go buy your own goddamn cigarette. I'm not gonna give you a damn cigarette. Now that could be a match. For, sorry, for-

What if that's how I got matched up? What if they were like, we got you your Indian bride? I mean, she seems really nice and really lovely. I do like how she's very natural. You know what I mean? She's like, I just let it grow. I don't, I don't-

That is natural. I like it. Yeah. That's really cool. And my reaction to that tells me everything she needs to know, right? That's how those chicks are. Oh, oh, that, yeah.

There's a lot of very angry- The way that you react to the hair on my chin tells me everything I need to know about you. That's so, that's such a tech talk. It's funny because all the chicks who have armpit hair and then they have to show you it on social media, they have to antagonize you with that. I like to do what you were just,

can I do my dates real quick, please? One night only, September 7th in Brooklyn, New York at the Bell House, because I see Bell House the next night. The MGM Grand in Detois, September 9th, Nashville, Tennessee, Zaini's, October 6th, 7th, and 8th. And then back to Judoark titties to do Caroline's, November 4th, and 5th.

And then Biloxi, Mississippi, at the Beau Rivage, Rivage, resort and casino on November 18th. And then Chicago is moved to April 29th of next year. Here you go, Mississippi online. This is something I should, I'll probably have to say a number of times, but I found out, and this is actually a good thing, but I'm going to Mum Australia in the new year

and the shows that I had, January 20th and 21st, I was gonna do two shows each day and they ended up moving me to a bigger theater. So they moved me to the Aware Super Theater. So if you had tickets to either show on the 20th, your tickets are good for the one show now on the 20th. Does that make sense? And if you had tickets to either show on the 21st,

your tickets are good for the one show on the 21st, but we moved venues. We moved to the Aware Super Theater, which also means that there are new tickets available because of the size of the venue. And also, if you are no longer able to attend, you can go to Point of Purchase, I believe, take it master, we'll handle your refunds

if you can no longer go because of the new time and venue. That's Sydney, January 20th and 21st of 2023. There you go. Nice, we did it, very nice. Oh, I also have one update for the YMH universe. If you guys recall, a while ago, there was an employee at this pharmacy I frequent. Oh my God.

What? Yeah. And I really, okay. So they look extremely ambiguous wearing their mask. It was during COVID. Sure. And we had come to the conclusion that I would ask them what their pronouns were.

Right, and you were gonna try to figure out a way to kind of get it in there. Yeah, so I've been to this place several times. I figure the employee's gone. Lo and behold, they're back. They're back and they were working in the pharmacy and I texted you immediately. I called you, actually, because I was so pumped.

You were so really worried about it. I called you, you did not answer. So then I had to text you like, dude, the Zimzr is back. I straight on you. What was that? I straight on you. How straight are you?

How straight are you? Yeah. You get that straight. So then, okay, so you were like, you gotta ask. You gotta ask their pronouns. And I had a sir with me. So I was like, okay, this is it. I worked up the courage.

Just a moment. I got to the front of the line and then they go to the back of the pharmacy to do phone calls. And now a different employee comes up and I was like, dude, I was this close to finding out. And so here's the deal, man. They don't have a mask anymore.

So I got to see the face and it's completely could go either way. Really? It could completely go. The body, everything. The only thing that's a little off or what that is tell is there's hair on their arms, dark hair, but it could be either.

Either way, yeah. But I know I did take one. Do you guys want to see them? Oh my God. Did I took a sneaky pic? I'll show you guys. You did? Yeah.

All right, well, don't, yeah. Not on air. I would never show it publicly, but this person and I like, I was like, I was so stoked. I almost was like, hey, come over here. I want to ask you something, but I didn't want to call them over and be like, what were you gonna say?

I'd be like, listen, I know I've been coming to you for months and months and I hope you don't think I'm rude, but I'm dying to know what are your pronouns? Because I want to be respectful. Don't say it like that. Well, how do I say it? You had it, but don't say it,

but I've been dying to know. Look, what are you? You just, no, no, no, no. Do you think I'm on the spectrum, Tom? You were almost there. Okay, go ahead. You say, hey, you know, I haven't seen you in a while and I've been coming in and I just wanted to ask

because I've seen you so long, I would realize, I never asked, what are your pronouns? Okay. So you make it like, I just wanted to, I realized I forgot to do this. It's almost like saying, I've seen you for a while, I forgot to ask your name. Yeah, I'd like to, yeah, I want to be.

So you're like polite about it. Cool. And I do, I want to be cool. Because you don't want to be like, I've been dying to know and my friends and I are talking about it. I got a $100 bet now. But then here's what's going to happen.

What? What if they're like, it's they, them, and then I. That's fine. But then I still don't know what the mystery is. I still don't know what. Oh, you know what the mystery is. I still feel like there's more to know. I don't know what.

And get their phone number. Okay. Get their phone number. I can't believe. Stop calling me daddy. How are you not, you're not as fired up as I am about this mystery. I was excited for you.

I was excited for you. Babe, do you think I'm on the spectrum because I don't know what's inappropriate? I do. I do, I think. Should I take a test? I think you should. Yeah.

And? Oh yeah. I forgot. Where my mom said I did take a test, I'm only three points away from being on the spectrum. It's literally like one question away from being on the spectrum. I think I might be.

Cause females can mask it. Females can mask what? Being on the spectrum because we're more social. I can mimic things better than you cause you're a guy. Guys are naturally more autistic leaning. Like you guys are, well you are more anti-social by nature. Like I can be social. Oh, okay.

All right, fuck man. I don't know. I don't know. What? Yes, so let's just move on. Okay. Thor is back and so is his fat suit that a lot of people weren't happy about a few years ago.

For so much of society, a fat person is a failed thin person. A Venger's Endgame wanting to use this shorthand decided to make Thor fat. Sociologist Edward Avery-Natal writes that even early superheroes have lean and muscular bodies, but modern superheroes' bodies are basically unattainable. Chris Hemsworth, you can find his exercise routine.

It's not the kind of thing that someone who is not being paid to be pure muscle could do. Let's see how impossible this is. Over time, male superheroes' muscles got bigger, female superheroes' weights got smaller, and breasts got larger, and non-binary representation was really lacking. And now you might be wondering,

where did fat phobic ideas even come from? Sociologist Sabrina String says that when Europeans started enslaving people, they used skin color to determine who was enslaved and who was free. But String says that as mixed race populations grew, Europeans looked for a new signifier, body type. The idea is that black people don't have control

over their sexual or oral appetites. That proves that we are the ones who should manage them. After that, String says insurance companies developed arbitrary standards for what a healthy weight looked like. And soon after, white American doctors came up with another arbitrary standard,

body mass index. Having a prominent movie like that, which lifts up getting lower on the scale, can really trigger people who have suffered with eating disorders in the past. There are so many young people right now in the body, positive movements saying we love ourselves. That is such a beautiful thing.

I disagree. Yeah, I think the whole fun of a superhero is that it's a super human. Super model, super. They're super. Super hero, super. Thor is not a regular dude. Superman, he's not a regular guy.

He's a super man. He's not supposed to look like every other guy. He's supposed to look like basically unattainable. Because he's not a regular dude. And we're making movies, which are to make money. So you pay to see the thing that's special. And it's an escape. It's supposed to be a fantasy.

And then the second part of this that it gets tied to is like the idea that, you know, here's the thing. Not everybody could get to that Hemsworth body. That's true. But if people really tried to get Chris Hemsworth's body, like if you were like, I want to look like that.

And you really put the time and the effort in to the nutrition and the diet. With that being the goal, even if you never got there, you'd be way better off than if you were like, I'm not going to try to do that. Do you understand? I agree, I agree. Than to just give up.

If you were just like, I'm just not going to try. That's fine. But if you go, I'm going to try to look like that. And you fall short. You'd still look way better than you do. And you know what's interesting is all of the science which we don't even know if it's factually accurate. I love when these videos just put together a mishmash

and you're like, I don't even know if that's factually accurate. But the whole point of this was to say the reason it shouldn't happen is because it may trigger people with eating disorders. It may trigger fat people who aren't happy that they're fat. Right. And it might bum them out when they see somebody who's super hot.

Right, right. So you're afraid of bumming people out? That's why we can't have a hot superhero? They might make people sad that they're fat and not doing anything about it. That's the message here. Don't bum out these lazy fats. I know.

Who are probably poor too. I mean, yeah, it's just wild that we have this much concern for people's feelings. I mean, because it's silly. I don't know. To me, I look at the super hero guy in these things and I go like, damn, look at that dude. That's fucking incredible that he was able

to look like that. Because I recognize how dedicated he had to be to do that. He had to really be dedicated. You respect the discipline and the work. Yeah, of course. It's like, if you go to a bodybuilding, if you see bodybuilders on Instagram, right? You see them just posing.

You're like, that person lives disciplined to look like that. And you respect the work. Of course. I know, basically it's like, like you said, they're lazy and they're victims and they're crybaby pussies. I think if you don't...

And we're letting the crybaby pussies win versus being like, stop being a crybaby pussy and then look better and then you won't be so fucking triggered. Or, you know, don't go to the movies. Don't go to the movies, crybaby pussy fat cell. Maybe make a new movie called Super Fatty. And it's this hero who sits at home

and he just, he texts people to do things. He just orders pizza and cries. Yeah, and there's food always delivered. And then he's just like, we did it again. But does anybody want to see a fat Thor? No. And here's the... Nobody wants fat Thor, dude.

This goes back to the other thing too, is that... Of course, it's great to feel good. You should feel good about, you should love yourself. It's important to love yourself, right? But this whole thing where we lie about what is attractive or desirable? Like, what do most women react? Like, how do most women feel

when they see a fit muscular guy? Hot city, bang city. It's an attractive guy. So... A high value male. Why are we gonna act like that's no longer true? That's what is attractive. It's like, what do most men feel or see

when they see a... A swimsuit model. A swimsuit model, like a, well, old school swimsuit model. But I'm saying like, a round ass, a small waist, breasts, right? And you go like, oh, look at this like, quote perfect body, like what do most men react to? They go, it's bang city.

It's bang city. She's hot. Because I think if you look back even historically, musculature being fit, athletic, virile, fertile, these are just markers of health, of good health. It is. And your brain is also not just telling you that it's aesthetically pleasing.

It's that like, this is a person that is desirable to be with because they're a healthy specimen. They take care of you and you want to reproduce with them. You mean your fantasies, your deep sexual fantasies aren't inclusive? No. No. So silly.

Hey, just for the, I'm just curious for the record, can we look up how many issues of the swimsuit swimsuit? What is it? Swimsuit special, sports illustrated. How many did they end up selling with the Fatso from the oldie on there? Cause I'll tell you, when I went to the Aero Puerto, I guarantee all the covers of the Kardashian were gone.

And then all that were left were the Fatso and the oldie. So I know for a fact that they're not gobbling them up. Yeah. Like I'm curious how many they sold. If you could find out, I don't know. He's never gonna find out. Look at it. How many issues of Fat sports that, I mean.

I mean. You're definitely not gonna get the result like that. That's not gonna be, you know. Oh God. Maybe 2022. Yeah. Sports Illustrated. And he can you help him?

Or how about Zolo? Zolo is a good cook. All right, man, I'm switching. Zolo could have done this faster. God, is he in the room now? I would delete Fat. Yeah. They're not gonna call him Fat.

You're so bad at this. How about you look it up? We'll get back to you. Let's talk. It's gonna take him for the rest of the episode. Jesus fucking Christ. Oh my God. Unbelievable.

I mean, you, I don't know. You are completely retarded. You are, oh. I also have another thing I'd like to bring up with you. Yeah, sure. Fiji, I used to believe was a superior water. Yeah. This summer, I started drinking Avion.

Is that how you say it? Yeah. Avion. Avion is now the superior water. And I think it should be changed as the official YMH water. And denied. Why?

Because it is not. You can, you're welcome to bring in some of that water and enjoy it yourself, but you know. Why is it, have you tried it? Of course I've tried it. You don't think it's superior to Fiji? I do not. I do not.

I'm a fan of the mineral silica, which is prominent in Fiji water. It does not exist in Avion. And the taste I find in Avion is much, much more favorable than, you know who hates Avion? His Asian genes. Really? Hates it.

Wow. Why does he hate about it? He just thinks it's trash. Wow. Okay. I don't feel as strongly as him, but I do prefer Fiji. Okay, well, agree to disagree,

because I think Avion is my new favorite. And I'm gonna start drinking that. I'm gonna bring in my own leader bottles for now on. Bring in whatever you want. That's what I've been into. Yeah. Do it, do what you want. Yeah.

Same stroke, it's different, everybody. Here we go. How do you make, what is it? Kombucha? Bueno, como decíamos en el video número uno, vamos a lavar nuestro hongo madre. I don't know what that is.

Con vinagre de manzana para que se le quite. Apple vinegar. Apple. Todo el morenito. Perdón. Todo el morenito que tiene arriba. Why are you making me watch this? I haven't seen it.

I just know I don't like this. Okay. Now I can watch it, babe. Okay. You rub in this. No debemos de certer. Apple vinegar. I guess it's a pretty strong smell in it.

No debemos de sentir as... This isn't a good cooking drink. Ah. Ah. Help. Help. She can't do it. Okay.

All right. Thank you. You're welcome. Woo. You know, it's been a while. Why don't we get to your stuff? Oh, fuck no. A chan beum marin je bolun da.

A chan beum marin je bolun da. What is she eating? It's like a worm. She didn't even put sauce on it. She just ate it with no sauce. Now you wouldn't, any of you would do that with or without mayo. I can't even fucking breathe right now.

Jesus Christ. Okay. Hot sauce? You wouldn't even do that with hot sauce? It looks like she's got hot sauce. No, there's nothing could save this one. No. Not even mayonnaise with ketchup?

I found another incorrect sign. A very wrong sign. A feminine care aisle. Let's talk about it again. How not all women are menstruators and not all menstruators are women. I know the term menstruators isn't meant to simplify cis women into just having a period.

It's really about simply using more inclusive language to talk about periods and those who experience them. If it were my ideal world, all of those aisles that carry tampons and pads would say period care. Because feminine is the word for gender expression, which is not equating to any sort of men- So you, this is a really good video to explain,

like, I don't care how hot a woman is. Yeah, but this is the video I was talking about. Right, so like if Margot Robbie was like this and she was like, you wanna go have sex now? I'd be like, no. Done. I would like you to enjoy the rest of your life. Yeah.

So I did a reaction video to this. I literally said nothing. Yeah. I just made expressions. Yeah. TikTok removed it for abusive behavior, like hateful whatever speech. Yeah.

So stupid. How, how does that happen? Cause somebody reports you some little fucking twat with their feelings hurt. But I mean, there's no review process. Well, then I appeal, appeal it, and then it gets reinstated. But someone reports you and then you appeal it.

It's the dumbest thing. So yeah, this chick, so this chick's really into her period. It's really fascinating if you, it's actually, I think, yeah, she's really into her period, like she'll show you. How this is your mission in life? Just like, for all the, like for everything

you can get behind in this world, for you, this to be like, this is the one. I just, I love people. I love weird people. I love people is not your fucking mission statement. I like weird people, dude. Like this is just what rings my bell. I'm really into that.

Just like how- How do you like murder? How do you like murder? Gender expression. Gender expression is different from gender identity. I can't, I don't want to hear this anymore. So anyway, she'll show you her dirty period panties.

Like she'll be like, I'm changing my, yay, it's day one of my period. And then she'll take off her dirty pad and show you the blood. I wonder how this started for her. It's so gnarly. Oh, I know. When she first got her period,

she was shamed by fellow classmates. And then she made her mission to stop period training. There's always a story. Like I actually think it's, I like her mission. I think what she's doing is really cool in terms of normalizing periods. But I mean, this is just, I'm just don't like the condescending tone of it all.

Like let me educate you on what needs to happen at Target today. It's like, listen, there's like kids that probably don't know what a period is yet. Maybe if that word is up there, they have to mask the meaning a little. It's not that serious. Not everything is an offense to you.

It should do. I think she would be blown away if somebody showed her the stats on how many women buy tampons, or how many times it's bought for a woman. She would probably be like, what? Yeah. So.

It's crazy. Yeah. I just think I would not order from a restaurant as a professional chef. Let's go. This one's good. I would not order any kind of fish on the weekend, Monday or Tuesday, unless it's coming

from the dock itself, do not order the fish. Second, burgers. You are literally taking your life into your own hands if you eat it anything less than well done. Any kind of special day, I would stay away from that. They're just trying to use up stuff that hasn't sold. Same thing, soup of the day. It's all leftovers.

Mostly bits of stuff that was just a little bit left. And unless you absolutely have to have it, I would skip dessert too, because chances are it was made more than a week ago. Sorry. Very cool. Very nice. I know.

I thought you'd like that. No, yeah. It reminded me of Bourdain in Kitchen Confidential. He said a lot of those same things. Yeah. He did. He said, never eat the swordfish. It's full of worms.

Right. Don't eat. And he said, going out to restaurants is for the tools go out on the weekend. He's like, if you want good stuff at a restaurant, you go out on Tuesday or Wednesday or something. Yeah. Yeah.

And he said the same thing about specials. Yeah. And don't eat the mussels when they're steamed. You have to force them open. Never pry open a mussel. It should just open. Yep. Don't eat the closed shell.

Here's your girl. She's doing yoga, babe. I mean, isn't that cool? Yeah. She is cool. She's like, but I think the tag on it was like, doing yoga at the beach.

Yeah. I mean, can she like unhinge her hip bones? Like that's wild. I think she's just super flexible. She's been practicing that for a while. You think, I'm going to start practicing. Does that excite you sexually as a man? I mean, her doing that there doesn't.

I think the position's pretty cool. Yeah. I think it's pretty cool that she's capable of that. Okay. Yeah. So if I did that, though, it aroused you or would it weird you out? Like, babe, you've been trying this?

You've been practicing this? I think a combination of both. Yeah. What if I did that? Like, I've been working on this for months. I have something to show you. Our anniversary's coming up and I'm like, babe, I've been working for a year on this one.

Yeah. And you're like, what? What? This bitch is crazy, dude. Yeah. Chubby Puffy, Chubby Belly. Chubby Belly, Chubby Belly, Chubby Chubby. He said Chubby.

Oh my God. Just a cheetah, just hanging out. And she's tickling his paws and his belly. Hello, well. Just the fastest killer on the planet. Yup. With his balls intact. Did you see that?

Yeah, I did, yeah. It was nice that they left him. I know I've never seen a cheetah's balls before. Yeah, he's the first. It's the first for me, too. That's kind of cool. So this girl. I felt the most pain I ever felt in my life.

I felt so much pain. So for those of you who don't understand, she just split her tongue in half and she's in a lot of pain and that's a seven out of 10. That's like day two of having her tongue split. I mean, I wonder if you can talk eventually. Yeah, you can talk with your tongue split, right? I wanna go home.

I hope so. I hope she can talk. I really wanna wrestle tonight. My back hurts. But I'm gonna do it. What? I don't know, I don't know, I don't know what you like. He wants to wrestle tonight, but his back hurts.

Oh. But he's still gonna do it, so don't worry, he's still gonna do it. Who's he gonna wrestle with? Oh, no. Sam Taylor in Hong Kong? Yeah. I like that he has his shirt off

and he's telling you with his shirt off. That's a very cool way to tell, yeah. Jumping on this trend to talk about 10 things I would never do after being a police officer. Number one, never let someone live with you unless you know them very, very well. Once they're at your place a certain amount of time, the police can't kick them out.

You can't kick them out. You have to get informally evicted through the court system and that is a pain in the a- Two, when you buy a big item, TV, iPhone, anything like that, write down the serial number somewhere that you can find it later. If someone steals it, if you lose it, the only way we can link it to you is the serial number.

Number three, I thought this one went without saying, it doesn't, lock your car and lock your house. Your stuff will get stolen, I promise you. Number four, if you get into a car accident, don't just exchange information and agree to work it out amongst each other. Call the cops, get a report, you will thank me. Number five, I would never own a house

or have an apartment without a camera set up on the outside. Nowadays, it's how we solve pretty much everything we need to solve is cameras. Get a camera, they're cheap now. Number six is another one I thought went without saying, but it doesn't, don't give your information to anybody over the phone that you don't know. Social security number, bank account information,

trust me, it happens, people do it all the time. Seven, if you ever approached on the street at night and someone wants to know what time it is, hey, can you check what time it is? You're basically about to get robbed. Keep walking, don't acknowledge it. Number eight, after being a police officer, I'm just not gonna let my son go to people's houses

if I don't know them, period. I don't know what they're about, I don't know what kind of things they do at their house, I gotta know them first. Number nine, I don't care how friendly your dog is, how well he listens to your training, don't be having your dog off leash when you're taking him on a walk

or when you're out in public. You have no idea what your dog's gonna do, they're animals at the end of the day, you can't control them all the time and maybe someone else has a dog that doesn't like other dogs, leash him up. Last one should not take a cop to tell you this, don't drink and drive, ever.

When you've had too much to drink, do not drive. That should be a given, respect the life of other people. All right. I mean, cool to know. Yeah, most are good. Right? Some of them are, you know. Common sense?

Yeah. But apparently people don't do that shit. Yeah, what time is it? Things are good one. That's scary. Yeah, one of my friends got Rob one time and it was daytime by somebody saying, hey, can you break a 50?

Oh my God. And I say, man, do you have change for a 50? Pulled out his wallet. That's it. And then as he was getting cash out, the guy like grabbed the cash, hit him and ran, you know. So it's more like, you know, you said nothing to see here. It's more like if a stranger's ever like, hey, do you?

No. No. No, I don't. No, I do not, sir. No. Keep him moving. Come closer. This is crazy.

This is a breast implant that he pulled out of a woman's chest. It pardoned inside of the, it happens a lot. It calcifies. That's not sheet rock. That's calcium that accumulates in there. That's about the most I've ever seen. Look at that.

It's not a breast implant. These are salient implants, but that's from chronic inflammation. That's what happens inside these implants. That's the kind of stuff that happens in there. It's horrible. If they're wet, they just look like a gum, but it's just calcium, there's moisture in there.

And it hardens. Because of, it's a foreign object in your body. Calcifies. I imagine that, I imagine your body is just like, what is this? What is this? Yeah. Gosh, that's terrible.

Fuck. that's understandable. You wouldn't let this guy go down on you. What? You don't need his skills. Look at his mouth. Stop it. They're freaking out.

He left? This chick's wild, man. Yeah. Awesome. Isn't that wild? Love him. I love him. What a gig. I used to pick up dead bodies for beer money.

That probably says a lot about me. When I was younger, my dad had a funeral business and I would work with him to make spare cash. So one day we get a call to pick up a guy who'd been dead for several days. So we went down to a pretty nasty row house in Baltimore. This dude had done a full Elvis Presley. He had died on the can.

His last worldly endeavor was dropping the kids at the pool. Ironically, around his apartment appeared to be, there appeared to be piles of human excrement and I didn't see any signs of a dog. So maybe, just maybe, he should have kept pooping on the rug. I don't know. Nonetheless, we got our gurney in place

and I got ahold of the ankles. My dad got under the armpits and, you know, one, two, three, we pulled and nothing. He didn't budge. All he did was kind of aspirate a little bit. And putrid smell came out of the mouth, flies. It was, it was nasty. It was nasty.

Once we got beyond that, we went for a second attempt. I got the ankles. Dad got under the armpits. We yanked a little harder this time. He came up about, about an inch, but that was it. My dad was like, what is going on here? I mean, this dude was emaciated. 80 pounds soaking wet.

This should have been easy. So my dad's like, son, he seems to be stuck. Gonna have to give a little ass this time. So this time I got the ankles. I put a foot up on the commode for a little bit of leverage. Dad got under the armpits. One, two, three, we yanked this little sum bitch. He came straight up in the air

and we both just looked in horror. Dropped him right on the ground. It wasn't his weight holding him on the toilet. It was his balls. All the fluid in his body had drained down to his testicles and they were bigger than the hole in the toilet seat. So they locked him on the toilet. My dad just looked at the dude and said,

shit, I guess I know what killed him. That was a classic dad. Cool story, huh? That was a cool story. Did you like it? I did like it. I know, I feel you like this guy. This guy would be great to hear stories from.

Yeah, yeah. I love these stories of finding dead people and how they clean them up. Oh my God. Yeah, someone's got to do it. Someone's got to do it. What a gig, my goodness. What would you rather do, clean out the honey buckets

or do what this guy did for beer money? Fuck, that's a, that is gnarly. Hold on, I have three gigs for you. Okay, would you rather clean out the honey buckets, be a third world prostitute? Oh my God. Or do what this guy does for money. I think the buckets.

Wow, see I mean, they're all terrible. Which one would you choose? Not the prostitutes, definitely not happening because I just ruined your whole life, like your whole everything. It's just terrible. I might do crime scene cleanup because I think the pay is probably really good

and you've got awesome stories for days. And once you get over the initial shock of the disgustingness, I feel like the honey bucket, like you ever worked, like when I worked at Starbucks, I would smell coffee all day and it messes up your sense of smell and your senses. Like smelling poo poo and pee pee all day maybe would mess you up.

It kind of, but I think smelling decomposing bodies. I know, but I think you, can't you wear a mask? But everybody that I've talked to people that have done this, they say that that decomp smell. The smell is like nothing. It's burned into your brain forever. Shit, as bad as it is, you know, you've smelled it. You've smelled bad shit stuff and you kind of move on.

Man, this is such a... I think that might be a good one to end on. I don't know. There's more, but you know, I think it's a good one to wrap out on. It was fun. All right. Who's the hooker in a dove?

Listen. You'd be a third world prostitute. Really? Yeah. You're a good... I'm a people pleaser. I like to meet people. I think I'm good with them.

Guys would jizz on your fucking face all day. Yeah, and you would rather be a hooker too. You'd be getting fucked. A third world hooker. By dudes, you know that, right? Sometimes dudes, sometimes you'd be on the other end of it. Sometimes it'd be women. No, it wouldn't be.

No, it's never women. It'd be rare. I think there'd be a few, though. Okay, one out of a thousand. But I'm talking third world, like you're in India in a slum. Yeah. And it's gnarly. Have you seen those documentaries?

I mean, I've smelled poo poo and I've heard things about deceased smells. You guys don't know shit. Yeah, I know. Third world prostitute. No, you know what? I want this for you. I want you to be kind. I know.

Thank you again for watching and we'll see you guys soon.