Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - 672 - Ari Shaffir - Your Mom's House with Christina P and Tom Segura

Episode Date: September 7, 2022

Miss YMH Live 8? Rent it for 7 days at https://ymhstudios.com/rentals/ It's another week of Your Mom's House and Tom Segura and Christina P contemplate opening a McDonald's franchise to bring things full circle. We open on a super cool guy at a community town hall, Christina wonders if Tom or the staff ever tasted themselves, and we talk about how much fun YMH Live 8 was. Then the mommies reveal they took the entire staff to Cabo San Lucas after the live show and how Chris Larson absolutely TURNT up, their sweat lodge Temazcal experience, and we get a much needed dental update from the main mommies.  Then, we welcome back comedian and podcaster, Ari Shaffir! They discuss the return of Sober October with Bert Kreischer and Joe Rogan, the coolest bespoke tailor in Hong Kong, and a YMH Exclusive about an accident Garth Brooks had on his private jet. We run through some Horrible or Hilarious clips, a new hygiene trick to use in the bathroom, and take a look at some TikToks. https://tomsegura.com/tourhttps://christinaponline.com/tour-dateshttps://store.ymhstudios.com/https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast

And new Sam's Taylor video would be done without a look at our customers gorgeous ass. Can we zoom in on that ass? Say it again, they can't hear you. Yes, I am. I am very happy with this I was like, it's why I made just gotta get weird What's coming Oh McDonald's cheeseburgers McDonald's lay-a-fish McDonald's chicken nuggets McDonald's fries McDonald's cheeseburgers McDonald's lay-a-fish. It's so good. It's so good. Thanks McDonald's Thank you McDonald's is a happy meal for a boy or a girl. Yeah, what's up with that? I want you to pick your own pro now

And the nuggets I love the nuggets Many many french fries you got a mcdonald's nigger How does 2.3 million dollar sound Burger burger burger lay-a-fish Like these fries McDonald's cheeseburgers McDonald's lay-a-fish Fun is delicious. Yeah. I can't remember the last time I had a flat fish, but it's fantastic Oh, fuck right great song. I think farts Austin made that, right, right? Diana it gets me so motivated and happy about eating McDonald's again. I got to tell you something

I think we are in a financial position now We might be able to franchise the McDonald's really and then brand Simpson can go you got a McDonald's n-word Yeah, yes, he could That'll be cool. I don't know if you can go wrong with them. I mean they're very expensive It's up there. It's it's like I mean it's over a million dollars, but it's also like you got a McDonald's n-word Yeah, like oh my god. Can we put that sign in the front like we got a McDonald's n-word? Just so that our fans could make a pilgrimage. Yeah, that would be the Mecca McDonald's. Yeah for YMH That's true people. I'll be so cool. Yep

So cool you or maybe we have somebody Like a greeter, you know how Walmart has greeters. Yes, so you walk into McDonald's and somebody goes welcome to McDonald's Ah Do we hire like a black person or can it be I think to say that you should yeah, yeah, yeah, no you're right We hired one to say that so I Don't think I don't think you should have somebody else say it. Yeah, you're right. It would be off-color Right brand Well, you know what I mean inappropriate

Yeah, that's what I meant to say because you know that if you go to McDonald's anywhere in the world It's there the consistency. Can you Google? What does it cost to franchise in McDonald's? I think we should Tom. Listen comedy is not gonna last forever. No, it's definitely not gonna last we should be franchising in McDonald's Okay, okay You must have a minimum of five hundred thousand available in liquid assets and pay a forty five thousand dollar franchise fee Hold on Fred could expect to a shell out between one point three and two point three million dollars Existing franchise prices can cost upwards of a million or more. Oh, so You can buy someone's existing franchise, you know, you're spending over a million for that

Or you're kind of I guess Oh, is that a invest what is that investopedia? That that kind of breaks down. Oh, wow. So really like McDonald's corporation has thirty eight thousand restaurants in a hundred countries Applicants, okay, scroll a little down a little bit Take shell out. Okay. Well, that's what we just saw and then understanding the cost You've been around for more than seven decades. However, all applicants are required. All right. We got that The cost of buying an existing franchise is based on the location's profitability

Renovation needs sales volume could be upwards of a million or more Um, wait and we learned from the documentary. Yeah about McDonald's remember that it's the land Yeah, yeah, that it's on. That's it's really a real estate business McDonald's. Yeah, that's true But what a beloved brand and can I tell you some can I tell you some the one we have near our house? Yeah For some reason the goddamn ice cream maker is always broken. That's not just there. That is universal. What? Yeah, that's a McDonald's thing. You didn't know that

You didn't know that that people complain is always that the ice cream machine is not working. I didn't know that. Yes Well, what why can't they fix it? They've got millions of dollars. Just it's just not a priority. They just like it's it's down It's always down. It's always down all over the world But can I tell you it's like my favorite entree is the hot fudge sundae. Yeah, followed by a McDonald's chocolate Are you suggesting to franchise McDonald's near the house? Yes That's a ball or fucking move. I know then we can be like we own this place. Give us Why is there McDonald's there? Because my house is right over there

I used to drive over here Yeah, wouldn't that be the best and then the kids could eat for free. We could eat for free Yeah, and we could tell people we have a McDonald's on word We would you don't have to keep saying that we could just say we have McDonald's but we can make our own merch No, yeah, they wouldn't let us I don't think so I don't think so, but I'd also love that that clip has uh ex president it's so funny to say ex president trump

Uh, he's talking he's like many many french fries I know and that's what he was hosting. I think Clemson for winning the national championship And he's like we have all we have fries All the nuggets that they'd want. Yeah, because he got he got all the fast that fast food buffet for them Yeah, for the if which is so gross It's like look at this These guys are they're never gonna get full Oh, they put the salads in the middle as if anyone's gonna eat the salads

What is grosser than cold fast food? Nothing because that had to be purchased Brought over gone through white house security protocol And then the kitchen staff was like, oh, then we'll set. I mean that's probably out there Two hours before those guys got their hands on it. Oh, it's all about the freshness tom That's what you eat out of the back. You pull it out of the back. You're like, oh like It sits for a few minutes. Yeah done done ski and and to make your cars smell like farts, too It's very true and it also makes your farts smell like McDonald's

Yeah Yeah, you know, I was discussing subway With uh with a rachel wolfson this comedian I went with this weekend. She was in the jackass movie. She's really funny Really funny really good And she's all she goes listen. I love subway. I love the way the bread smells when you go in there She goes crazy amount of sugar in it. Oh, is that what it is? Because she goes she goes I would buy a subway candle and make my house smell like that bread Subway bread

Has so much sugar That the country of ireland deemed it not bread You're kidding. Yeah, because of like the flour content to sugar ratio because they wanted to put another tax on it being imported Oh, my god. They're like, this isn't bread. Look how much sugar is in this. That's wild. Yeah That's like skittles. Did you know that skittles just got like banned because they're not food? What? Yeah, band from where I think america What or they got they got deemed not food. You're bad at facts and news so bad at facts and news So bad, but that's why you're good at it and i'm not

Man sews a man sews the maker Okay, is this the story you're talking about? No, but it did happen and it probably if it was banned you said it was banned from the united states I said it. Okay. Please look at the rest of the thing. I'm pretty sure it just happened. What was the result? This is a man suing the skittles. This is a crazy person sued skittles mars company Approved by those ban in europe last year for potentially causing a cancer risk. Wait, wait, wait, where the ingredient in question is titanium Dioxide. No, no, no, listen. Listen. Listen unfit for human consumption. How are you do you graduated college? This uh an ingredient that is banned in europe Right and it's in the skittles. Okay, but skittles haven't been banned anywhere

They're gonna be this is a hot topic and I just want you to stay ahead of the news tom. Oh man You never know what's going on. No, you know, I don't I on and you're right and you know what? I don't care. You know what I care about. That's very good. I'll tell you what I care about I care about fat models I care about victoria's secret models with down syndrome. Jesus christ. I care about what people who listen to this show care about Okay Have you tasted your own cum? Let's do the opening clip and we'll get back to that ready

Thank you, shannon kasey timmy kathy keep winning baby do it Break simple truths. There's only two genders and boys should go to boys rooms girls should go to girls restrooms And guess what teacher shouldn't be forced to use your freaking made up fantasy pronouns fight like hell Hold the line against the lgbt mafia and their dang pedo fans Keep winning. You know what keep the winning they can keep the monkey parks. How's that working? Welcome to your mom's house With Tom Segura

Look at that ladies eyes Oh, that's great My hands are close. Yeah poor circulation poor circulation Look at her eyes in the back. I know I just saw that she looks like a dog. It's so fun to watch someone freak out That's why I love when the the far right goes into like guys in the monkey parks In the pedophiles the cop too the cop is like He's leaning in like am I gonna have to stand up soon?

Yeah, because this guy is dressed like a maga hat like he's dressed like his whole outfit is a maga hat. Yeah, right God damn it the pedophiles. Yeah, he's uh So I was the first part of his speech and then this is the rest of it right here But like a town hall meetings are amazing. Oh, yeah Who goes back keep winning so much? We'll keep coming. You know what we're gonna keep coming so hard The only thing these cards got to figure out is whether it's on their face back This man for president you made a cum joke. Yeah, I heard it. We're coming for you so hard. It'll be all over God bless America. Yeah, I love it

Yeah, but this is the kind of enthusiasm we need in this country again the apathy for america Listen won't do next year Uh election cycle start right up again This guy this guy's got my vote These woke tarts woke tarts. Oh woke tarts. Oh cool. Yeah. Yeah, okay. Yeah You know what the problem is with the woke is that their ideas aren't entirely like super terrible But they're just no fun. I think if they were as fun as like the far right, maybe I'd be more on board with their agenda Yeah, they're just puritanical and they're they don't know how to party like that kind of fucking parties

This guy definitely parties. Yeah, I like who do you want to hang out with this guy? Well, he can barbecue. He can definitely have a queue and there would be like beers and whatever you want on tap Yeah, like he's a good time the other side. Yeah, not so much. Yeah, not so much Yeah, well, we always say that in stand-up, you know, it doesn't matter your own political position Um, uh, a right-leaning crowd is definitely a better crowd to perform to I know, you know, like I don't consider myself to be A right-leaning politically political individual, but as an audience, they're more fun They're gonna laugh at stuff, you know, the left is gonna be like I've done them. I've done those crowds where I'm like, oh my god. I want to fucking kill myself

Of course. Yes. Just the worst just the worst But the good thing is about our audiences is that we generally attract the least woke of the woke Demos, do you know what I'm saying? Like yeah, it depends. I mean, it depends depends on the geographical area depends on You know that audience turn out. It could be it. It could be a turnout that came If the if the audience came mostly from stand-up some audiences you can just tell they're there from netflix and stuff

Yeah, they're gonna be different if it's like a mostly Podcast audience. It's gonna be a different crowd. Shit's lit. Shit's lit. Shit is definitely as the kids say it slaps That's what he says. Wait. So have you even tasted your own cum? If what remember we were talking Oh, I don't know how we were talking about cumflaves But like have you accidentally tried your cum ever Have you even accidentally have you whiffed it? Have you yeah, I've whiffed it. Yeah And you never thought to just give it its tail as taste

No, I mean, I definitely You know, I remember this sweet sweet girl that I um Went out with many many years ago and uh, you know, she had she had uh, given me a A nice kisses. Yeah, and then She kissed my face afterwards. So it was kind of there, but it wasn't like here taste this, you know, she kissed your lips Yeah, so you got a little bit on your lips. Yeah, but I'm saying it wasn't like Yeah, done to like here taste this you drink it. Yeah. No, no, no, it was just like Yeah, also there and I was just like, yeah, you know, but I haven't I wasn't like

Oh Save it save it save it Save it mouth catch. Yeah, do your mouth catch. I love when you do that one Scoop at school. I don't know. I mean, there's there's gotta be girls out there that um Or boys whatever that really enjoy the taste. Yeah, I mean, it's definitely It's not subjective. It's not the greatest taste. It's not the worst taste in the world I don't want to find out honestly. I honestly don't want to find out But can I say something I've known as much as I know about you. You're very adventurous and you're eating you're very adventurous and curious

I'm surprised that you haven't Just done a little licky a little flavor. Yeah, I've just I've never seen mine and gone. Um I got it. I want to try that. You know, I've never done it I've tried my own. I've tried my own flavor. You have And just to make sure I take, you know quality control and just to qc salty little I just you know Nothing. It's a body I I wasn't like I was like

No, no recently should I? No, I'm just asking. Oh, no, not recently like a million You know in my 20s like, oh, what's that all about? And then just to make sure you know, yeah, yeah, I mean Obviously, I've seen it Everywhere and it's come close. I mean I've had I've laid on my back and been like, whoa, geez you know But I've never been like Yeah Now it's funny that you bring this up. You know why? Yeah

What's up, yogis? So me and brian career just taught a really juicy anus workshop today And got a little bit into the prostate too And that caused some pre-com to be secreted from my man So a little bit of sperm seeped out a little bit of testosterone a little bit of uh spermadine Which is good for muscle growth a little bit of nerve growth factor Which is really good for your brain and your uh nervous system All that stuff, I know what this is called a little bit of vitamins minerals oxytocin and bonding hormone Which lowers cortisol. So not only am I getting the benefit of the urine therapy, which is powerful on its own

The shivon though, I should call it But I'm also getting the benefit of the sperm the semen tiny bit of semen that's been mixed in with my urine Wow That's very very good Great, uh, he tagged me in on instagram. He did. Yeah. Yeah. He was he said that me and somebody else were He's like, I think it's so funny that these guys are using my clips to laugh at and blub. I don't know He had he was I think fine with it. I will say this looking at him right now. This guy looks very healthy He looks so how I was gonna say he looks really healthy and I think he'll probably be like

See it's a shivon boo his kombucha shivan kombucha It's got a little bit of he can tell you what his juice tastes like, of course He can't look at that beard so full and beautiful. Have you guys ever tasted your juice? I think the dog has not on purpose. Yeah. Yeah, and It wasn't a fan. Yeah. Yeah, it was a little salty. Yeah And he's like hard pass I know I know already hard pass. Yeah, thanks. I bet I bet Josh Zolo because he's he's in the cum business right now because he's so young

He's in the cum business meaning like he produces a lot right now He's at the height of his cum right his t levels are spiking. Yeah Josh, have you accidentally even just tasted it? I know you have Oh stop. What about one of your frat brothers? You guys ever Jack into each other's mouths No, okay I can do each other's mouth. I can be like, haha. I got you. Uh, like that's you know frat guys You were sleeping and I came in your mouth

Is that the initiation? I don't know. I was never in a frat. I'm assuming. I'm assuming that's what they do They're like you were asleep. I butt fucked you and I came here It's funny. The sororities probably don't do the same type of scissor while you sleep. Yeah This is all scissor while you sleep Um I gotta say this I gotta pat ourselves on the back here for a second the live show ymh live 8 So good. It was the best way. It was it really was it was uh, if you missed it You can go to ymh studios.com slash rentals

I can get a seven day pass um I want to say like we we always try to do this when we do the live shows We always try to raise the bar on what I call the value of the show And so we just think about the whole show concept Um, there's some people that have I've realized that have the idea that the live shows are just a heavy segment You know

Show like we're just playing The craziest videos for two hours. The heavy segment is 20 minutes of the live show. That's it. The last 20 minutes is what we do it for We had dude, we we did like real production sketches and shoots in this thing like legit, you know There's fucking you've probably seen that there's like a helicopter in this. There's oh we spent three million dollars There's a lot on this on that one sketch. We had special effects teams doing like blood effects teams and green screens Yes, there's that then we did we did a the dating sketch that like we had like a full

Production team we spent a day shooting the special effects team had to remake Tina's breasts. Tina was redone and that's another That cost $50,000 in prosthetics. You don't have to give away every cost. I'm just saying that like I'm trying to say that it spent time and resources You should know we okay Yes, and it does we were going to buy a mcdonald's franchise and instead we made ymh life but that's the thing is that

we always try to Make it a better show so A lot of people got the show. I just want to say thank you to everybody They're so fun to put on like the energy here On a live night is really I mean It's fun. It's it's like you can feel it in the air everybody is On another level Everybody's dialed in

We know we're going live live things can happen. The wrong video could be played on accident. Oh my god There's all types of things that can happen and and it was ironic to the video that was Misplayed was perfect for you. It was amazing Yeah, and the dove do bad on that one. Yeah. Yeah, it was amazing. Um, and then we had fucking tim dillon was here I don't think there's a better podcast guest In the podcast universe than him. He really is unbelievable and then danie brown debuted two Fucking music videos new songs. It was so funny. It was rad. I laughed. Um, so anyway Super fun. Thank you guys for getting it and um

Yeah, we should say that immediately. I mean the next day after we did the live show As a special treat. That's right. We took Our ymh staff to Cabo. Yeah And fucking threw down. Yes, we did. It was a really good time. It was so much fun. I mean we were um We were in the pool And uh, apparently the young girls thought that we were all one family one big family

We learned later that I was the dad And you're the mom. Yeah, and that i'm your mom and we have a zola was for sure our child And that like any married into the family And then the curly red haired jewish. He was a friend. Oh, you're a friend. Yeah, he was he was our son's friend Yeah, and uh, and that like I don't know. I guess they assumed that um We were trying to have an intervention for chris larson because oh my god. He

You weren't there on the first day you came the next day right We got there. I went to my room I I hung out. I just chilled for a little bit then I went to the gym And when I left the gym, I walked by the pool And I see all everybody is is at the pool bar and i'm like where's larson and they go look down And I look down and he's laying in the hot tub with just his face peeking out I was like

You're right like on his back like on his back and just his face Is peeking out of the water and I was like, are you okay? And he was like, yeah And I was like, oh, okay Because I was saying how how the first day I uh When I when I went to the gym We had got the day we'd gotten there. I walked by that pool to see to see like what was going on everybody was Staying at the bar and I go where's larson and they go look down and you were in the in the hot tub with just your face peeking out

And you look like you were chilling in an opium den or something And then and then like You know it uh it got It got you got turned up man I mean you saw vacation chris vacation. Yeah I think it's such a departure it stands out more because work chris is really Put together. I mean, you're you know, you work chris is a professional. You're a professional. This is on time

Usually on time does a lot of work Handles tasks in a timely manner and and does a good job and You know socially you're you're polite, but somewhat reserved. I would say at work That's pretty accurate statement and then I get turned up when I'm on vacation. I'm good and you get turned sometimes That's what's up. Yeah, that is what's up Look at that guy. I love it Who knew he knew all the words to that song? Oh, it's a full day of drinking right there Because you know where I'm gonna go

Like how to chill everyone else This guy that's what's up chris larson Fucking love it. I have never seen this side and I love it. I love that the shirt is I didn't know what was going on I really was like, did you guys give him some perks? What's going on? Well, you sent this clip to me I was home in texas and I was like this I gotta get on this I can't get on the plane fast enough to watch chris larson Go crazy and then it gets better

Uh You guys know on instagram chris puts out a monthly message And usually just like yeah, you know, it's hot outside stay indoors drink a lot of water Happy birthday to a couple of people Well, I asked him to do uh, oh my god an august shout out. So it's actually it's now it's last month, but um But yeah, he uh, he he sent a message. I don't you gotta really listen. It's pretty loud there But he does send a message out Grand hollow it's fucking dope

I'm having a great time I gotta be You be real That's it that's your that's your message mean it was fucking so good. Yeah, I mean we were overdue. I hadn't put one out in a while Yeah No, I mean, I think we were overdue for all of this. I think we're overdue for those drinks Look at that background. I know it's stunning. It was such a and by the way, we hooked them up We took them to a really nice resort. We didn't fuck around like a bunch of pores. We really like yeah, yeah

We love you guys. Yeah, we love our children my life. Good Um, and then but the best part is so I I I show up and I sit down at the pool with you guys And I immediately I was like where is chris larson? Yeah, I have to see He's drinking already. Okay. He was already hammered. It was like noonish. Yeah, and he was doing his thing He got a little surly. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah the first night we went to dinner and I mean wait, what did I do at dinner? They're like because this dancing was like an hour before And then uh, I think it was in the doll. He's like uh, hey chris. What are you gonna get?

He goes, maybe I should look at the menu first. Wow I was like damn. Oh, now I remember dinner I think he was starting to hit me at that point. Yeah, oh, yeah steam you started uh, you were sassin people left and right Yeah, yeah, he was sassy and then I ordered some nachos for myself and he just started eating that Yeah, that's what you do when you're drinking. Yeah, he tore into my nachos. I didn't say a thing. I was like go for it I want you need to eat. Yeah, yeah, but I heard that he had the the the idea that you're not supposed to eat Oh, he has this whole theory. Yeah, what's this theory chris? Yeah, no, it's not a theory. It's just what happens to me Right, right, right. So whenever I eat and drink like at the same time like I'm drinking and eating

Then I get really sick and nauseous and so that's why I was like, okay I'm gonna drink then I'm gonna eat and then I'm gonna go back to drinking. Yeah after dinner Yeah, and it didn't really help the last that night, but it helped the next night Okay, the next night you felt better. I felt better the next night, but not that first night the first night I think it was hitting me hard Obviously Yeah So good

So so the night that I was there. Yeah, he got turned up and then and then he went for a swim And I oh my god, that's right. I forgot about that Well, first I was actually I was in the pool. I was leaning over. It's like an infinity pool So you go to the edge and I was just leaning out and I'm looking around and I just see chris like Like walk into the want no one else in this area And I see him kind of fall and get up and he'd look everyone thinks he's the like lobowski. He's like the dude Just stumbling around and he came back and that time He was actually fine

But then later right he goes check this out. He lifts up his shirt He's like has gauze taped to himself And I'm like, what happened? He's like fell on some rocks I did big ass rocks big rocks. He was bleeding through the gauze. Yeah, that was a serious Yeah, and here's the best part though. Is that that part of the beach was rocky or shit Yeah, it was if you just walk 20 feet to the right. No rocks. No rocks. I know. I know, but you know what? No fun over there. No fun. Yeah Rocks are where it's at

So he had a huge wound. Yeah, I mean in the water today got too much blood Well, I mean you're missing the other half of that story, which is any's half Yeah, which is where because that was the whole reason I went down there the second time because I saw any kind of like Putting his toes in the water because he's like a little fray to the water. Yeah. Yeah, I'm black, man Yeah, I'm afraid of the fucking ocean So I was like halfway in I'm just up to my ankles and this motherfucker right path. He's I hear behind me He says I'm gonna make this ocean my bitch and he just starts going right past me like it's nothing and then he does

He goes straight into the fucking ocean. I just had to show any that it's not you don't need to be afraid of the ocean Just be afraid of the rocks I love it. I love it. It was so fun I'm glad that we all went and we have to we'll have to top it on the next one. We'll have to do another one Absolutely, I'm thinking yeah, Miami for the next trip Really because I feel like these boys can get turn we saw the turn up. It was real in Cabo I think a beach is a good call. Yeah Or a cruise we could maybe no

That was a hard pass. Okay. No all done. No cruise But Miami, Miami with these clowns. I'd probably enjoy the drinks on margaritaville cruise. So oh my god I just know what I like and you guys want to see a video of any just eating a plate of bread. Yeah I This dude just like that's the bread basket and he was like, can I get one You'll die So I've taken them out like one time I took them out to dinner here in austin to that red ash which we go hard Yeah, right after I got them steak pasta everything everything everything just seven entrees

any houses Like two orders of the bread basket and I'm like there's no way he's going to be able to eat a steak and all that And then he does and then he can go and eat amazing. His capacity is incredible really incredible Incredible like bread man. Yeah. Yeah, like bread too, but that's fucking unbelievable It's funny that they always think I'm fucking joking like every time they're like, yeah, we'll bring bread to the table I'm like, could you bring me like one separate basket? Yeah, they're always like, no, man Like what the it's free. So it's on the house. So you can get however many as you want. Like, yeah, yeah

I don't even understand. I don't understand because most people when they eat the bread basket, then you can't have your entree Yeah, just you're done for. Yeah, but Yeah, he can we also did the um Uh, temesco. Oh my god. So this was my stupid ass idea and temesco My friend had just been to Cabo two weekends before And she goes my husband and I did this thing. It was very spiritual. They put you like in a hut a little hut it's a you sweat and you sweat out your Your spiritual problems your physical ailments. That was I was like looking forward to it. Yeah. So was I

So you go there it's a We're like, how long is this because we're not sure what the time is an hour and a half two hours, whatever So we get there you have to wear a bathing suit because it's so hot in the temesco, right? Yeah We go in the shaman meets you. He asks you or your intentions what you want to work on You know, and it was supposed to be like very cathartic It is so so they so so you go into this hut They close the door. So it's pitch black in there and you've got your shaman The drum lady who just drums and then the shaman's apprentice. I guess we're sitting next to

So I'm sitting there and we're all sitting in this circle And then they bring in a steaming coals coals that they've been lighting with whatever They put the coals in and then the shaman puts the water on the coals And the steam and the heat like once they close that door It's intense and it's like every 15 minutes. They open the door so you can cool off. Yeah. Well by round two I was panicking. Yeah internally. Yeah Panicking from the heat not the darkness not the weird shaman not the draw I was digging all that weird shit, but I was so

Fixated on passing out. I was so terrified that I tapped out I was like, I got to get out because my head was starting to tingle and I was like, dude I'm gonna pass out. I'm gonna fucking pass out. So I take a break And then the woman is like, are you ready to go back in? I was like, yeah, fuck that. I'm a warrior She's like, you are a warrior and I go when he get in the shaman's like you can lay down on the floor In the fetal position because there's less heat down. Yeah, so I do that and then he's flinging like leaf water at us remember and like Like chanting and stuff and I was like, please don't let me die and I get out

And I look in the mirror and my face is beat red. Yeah Like I have heat stroke. You do not have heat. It was heat stroke It's not heat and the only other time my face has been that beat red was in the middle east I see I hear people over. Oh my god. It was beat. It was like I hear people misuse heat stroke I had heat stroke all the time. They're like, I didn't know what was happening. I had heat strokes Like no, you didn't you had heat exhaustion. Maybe a little bit. I looked terrible. Yeah. Yeah My face was so red. Yeah, uh marked by fever and often by unconsciousness. Yeah, and skittles are outlawed and I had Heat stroke. You didn't have heat stroke. What did I have because my face maybe a little heat exhaustion a little bit

Yeah, that's different. I tapped out. I panicked you on the other hand. You were like you were sitting there. You were doing it You were you were good. You didn't bother you. Yeah, I liked it I was here's the thing. I was I the heat part. I actually really enjoyed I kind of like the guy except he never shut up. So I I didn't feel like I could ever get to a place Like mentally or emotionally that I wanted to get to because he was relentless with with talking I know like it was literally imagine 90 minutes of a guy going then, you know And this you got to release some of you got to stop thinking about how these because you know how sometimes

You feel like the world is coming down and you know, you're thinking about and you're just like, yeah, dude Like take a break on some of this speech So that like it's you know, you have a moment to prop he just never stopped talking and now that you say that I think that's what Made me panic more is because I couldn't stay with my thoughts. Yeah, it was his dumb rambling It was And then when there was three minutes left He goes I'm going to stop talking for a moment so that you could maybe meditate and like god do this

Whole time man I know because I really liked it when the lady was drumming and then she gave me a tiny drum No, I got maraca. Yeah, and when it gets really loud in there and weird like I like that And then I was like I want more of that like that's how you get healed and weird. Yeah, but Man, yeah, he didn't motherfucker talk too much See, I think my friend did not get the chatty shaman. We got we got because she's like I cried I released all this stuff inside of me and I'm like, he didn't give me a minute. I wanted that

Me too. I wanted that but no, that didn't happen Me too. I was ready. Well, if you want to cry Yeah, I can find us some other shit to get into here in austin. I'm good. I got something lined up. You do. Yeah. Okay. All right. All right Shit, sorry I'm just curious I'll tell you about it. Okay. All right. You actually know about it. I know I just you know, I didn't forget I did not forget. Listen. I validate you. I just didn't know if I wanted to say it I uphold you and I honor you exactly. I see you. I hear you. Okay

May I please do my most important announcement to ymh? I think I know what it is. Yeah, you should know what it is. It's a big fucking deal Roche Brady knows This is big news in our world This is a dental update. Okay a dental update that might blow away all the other dental updates you guys So I get a crown done on this very back tooth number 18. Yeah, because it's a it's a tiny molar That's been full of thank you for giving us the number. You got it. That's I'm a professional The tooth had been worn down because the filling was too big. It's over the years

I've eaten so much candy and whatever I rotted up. So they put a crown on it thinking that could save the tooth I think I'm done Well, I had pain heat sensitivity Cold sensitivity. I go into the dentist. I go something's up with the crown She goes you need a root canal And I suggest you do it ASAP because by the weekend this thing's going to be on fire So right I'm like what like you're someone says root canal your world is turned upside down. Yeah the panic the fear it's surgery It's a it's a deal

so I call the office. He goes I can take you tomorrow. Great. I get in I'm a little nervous during the dam will apprehensive I mean look they numb the crap out of you. So you don't feel anything So for those of you who are afraid if you're listening, it's really not a big deal They numb you they give they relaxed you today's root canal is so much nicer than the past They used to be just a guy like all right now. They talked to you. I had the nurse tapping me Rubbing my shoulders. It was very nice. So now I still have sensitivity when I eat But it'll go away within a week. I was told good and by the way

This is my third root canal. That's pretty wild I by the way Realized that wait a minute. I just told you I have three root canals. I know I mean, I'm the root canal champ You're up there. Yeah, has anyone had more root canals and me in the studio No, no, I think I think here's what I think that's a lot keep going Uh, I realized that I've been on this absolutely relentless tour. Yes um that never ever ends and

I haven't been to the dentist in like a year, which is a long time. I I was pretty good. Um before about going always twice a year So I call I'm like, oh, hey, I can I get into I want to have a cleaning and a check up and all that and they're like Yeah, and they gave me a date like eight weeks out What the fuck man? Just the did you drop your name? Did you I'm a celebrity? Do you like comedy? Do you want tickets? I do it all the time when they're like, what's I swear to god? I do if it's like a like my kid needs to get into the allergist. I swear. I did I go my last name Segura s e g and then hopefully they go. Oh like the comedian tom and I go. Yeah, that's my husband so weird

And then they're like, yeah, we have an appointment today. I swear to god it works Well, I actually said my name is tom segura and we have a date for you in fucking eight weeks Damn it Yeah Um, all right, you know, I feel like you're not appreciating that I have had three root canals I appreciate it. I mean, obviously you're not taking care of yourself. It's pretty cool Actually, correction You're you're right

I didn't take care of myself my younger self because that's when I got these as cavities and then they rot into No, you've always been good as as an adult of dental care But can I tell you the first root canal I got yeah was because of apple mentos in hungary that one summer in 1994 I ate apple mentos relentlessly. I don't know that we can make a direct correlation That sounds like you reading the news. I think you assume That apple mentos in that summer did it but I'm sure there's some other contributing factors You know what quit quit and validating my experience I've had three. I feel like I should have some kind of ymh trophy for that

Can I get a trophy and award for being the root canal champ? Yeah, we could get one made for you. Thank you Thank you All right, um Let's take a quick break and we'll be back with a real jewy guy We are back and according to federal law every few months. We must have a jew on the show And so we are meeting the quota for this quarter. Uh, please welcome back. All right, shafi everybody Thank you, united states law. Thanks to the law. Did you like hearing the dove count in in hebrew? Yeah Come a charba. Shalosh. Yeah for sure. It was nice. It took me back to a better place

Pre-holocaust era where we could do whatever we wanted. Is it you or the other guy? There's a guy who has a very similar look than you who's a comedian out of new york right now I forget his name. Is it every is it ari? Is it me? I don't know, but I've seen this dude I don't know him, but I've seen him and I'm like, oh, oh ian finance. Is that is that his name? Yeah, maybe So you guys are looking that Really similar really? Yeah, he used to have the beard when I had long hair and people at a roast battle He had a full beard like I used to and people called them sorry shafir

But I feel like right now the late I saw him in some post and he actually looks like like with a maybe he cut his hair Yeah, yeah, yeah, we're looking. We're looking pretty similar. Are you guys friends? We fuck. That's cool But we don't really talk about it after. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, actually cut that out. Maybe I should have revealed. Oh, okay. Yeah So that's an ari lookalike. Yeah Yeah, what's that like to fuck yourself? Is that really cool? It's awesome. First of all, I've never been so hard. Yeah Yeah, um, I've tried putting pictures of myself over uh people in the past. Yeah, it's not quite done. It's not the same It's off by like uh, yeah, because we know a guy who's attracted to women that look like himself, you know

Really? Yeah. Yeah, we're like, oh, we're just you're just fucking the female you and he's like, oh my god. I am Yeah I was like this girl looks like you and he's like fuck Oh my god, yeah, that's pretty great. Although I do feel that you and I look alike If you look at our features our children Well, our children are so handsome and I think Tom and I have deeply like big eyes We have got the deep eye bags. We both have big full lips I have a perfect area nose. Yours not so much. Sorry

Yours is not so much. I feel like we look like our our Our genes went together very well to make our children. Well, we made beautiful kids. That's why I see some sort of mash up between you guys We do make beautiful kids. Well, believe me. You just put that out there. There will be 45 Let's talk more importantly how gross is burt. He's so fat Dude, we went to the beach and we saw manatees Legitimately like 10 feet away from us. Yeah, and we didn't notice them because burt was in front Yeah, he is He is oh, that's burt with a jew knows

He's so round that stomach is something else. It's crazy. What what's his number? What do you mean? How what's his weight probably eight months? Oh, oh I what is his number? Well, okay? It's very funny. But can you pull up his instagram? He says things he says so many crazy things And I think he has each one of those kids like like he puts his arms down each one of those kids like pushes up slightly So, oh my god. Yeah, what is that stuff? So he sees he's drinking this beer here in the in the far left and like Yeah, he's always doing a promo. He's He's so red and fat right so his face very round

He's promoting his day or whatever this is be over. I would promote it, but it's passed by the time this airs But anyway, you know, you can't really see what he looks like now When I saw I was at his house a couple days ago. He covers up his belly there. Nice. But he's too willing to show it off Yeah, and there. Oh, yeah, that was in the still so you can't really see it But you you know, I saw him so then this one he posts the other day That's a work the the the next one this one and I'm like dude. I was just At your house. I saw you The 24 hours before this photo I go this is a photoshop. He's like it's not I'm like the the fucking

The top things the traps traps that those are probably I don't know those are chops But I'm like his face. I don't know is it that his mouth is open so it elongates his face Um, and you can't see how rounded you saw how round and hard that belly is. Yeah It's also like any it's it doesn't go up and down. It just goes up. Yeah, so it's always Like this taut. Yeah, like push down. It does look like a pregnancy belly It literally is and even look how let's be clear. Did you ever get that big? Yeah, you did. Yeah, but he looks like a trans man having having Children

He does he's transitioning into a manatee A trans manatee So he's like I look and so the reason I bring this up too Is that who are these guys? I get them on mr. Mr. Big Tom D. My guy looking fired. No, he's not dude. He looks disgusting So he posts as he goes. Hey Joe rogan when I hunt. I don't use a bow. I set traps See who gets dealt with this sober october Tom ari or joe and I was like what? First of all, I just I thought this was a photoshop photo just because like it is I just seen his face

Um, he did tell me when I saw him I saw him last week that he's lost 20 he's down 20 pounds From a few months ago and I was like, oh, that's great. Can I step in there? Sure He lets you know how much he's lost, but like doesn't say I just gained 40. He'll just focus on the loss of the 20 So his fluctuations. He's always like i'm down from This it's like when you took a baseball team. It's like we won seven of nine I'm like, but how many out of the last 20 you're like seven also seven You know what's funny is it's all men that are encouraging him. Yes

There's no women that are interested and many of these men are already dead from that Well, there's ari. You should put down the nachos while you do photoshop work His puns with the traps and the delts Yeah, oh, I know so I tried I did the same thing back to did you photoshop yours? No, no yours did not look like it No, I just I just posed and I just hey your confidence is a trap And then I just said, you know, I just did the same thing that he did and then He um, I see your pose. I just shrug I said right now you're in fourth place. I just you know, he wasn't fourth place

Yeah, so he wasn't fourth place. So then If you scroll down, he left this comment that was like fail. It was filled with like 19, uh puns It was like I have superior pectoral definitions. I'll pass right by you I think you have a chance against ari. I'm dying to see if joe's if joe tries to post a peck Oh my god God that comment was cringier than your photo. Yeah, when did you open up this bag of punyons? Tell me it looks so much better than him. You look so much better so much better than him. Yeah, it's and your traps Don't do that unnatural thing. They go up. You've been working out clearly. Yeah. Yeah

And I you know, I tried to tell him his arms are behind. Uh, he's just such a fuck Dude, I was in a pool once with dorosa and I was getting in and dorosa, you know, he's fat not burnt fat but he's fat and uh sandwich back and um And dorosa's like stop doing that. I'm like doing what is it with your stomach? Stop doing that. I was like, what am I doing? It's like you're holding it in dude. Stop. I'm like, I'm not holding it I'm just not disgusting Bert has learned all the ways to hold it in. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Look at that. He's sucking it in. He's a myspace chick Yeah, yeah, because here's the deal man. Is that he looks like

Under the under the fat that there is some definition Here's the great thing as much as it's fun to talk about how fat disgusting Bert is the truth is If he were just at all disciplined and committed to Not drinking like it's your fucking last way to live just just normally. Yeah, just eat A lit like oh one meal per meal. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Just cut it down to one meal per meal four times a day I do think he would eat multiple meals I think he orders an additional side of fruit that he doesn't touch so he could convince himself that he ate fruit Yeah, well, well we had dinner we had dinner and uh, yeah, and he goes and also order

He was chicken parm for for everybody. I was like everybody. Why are you involving me in this? Yeah, and why are you involving us? He's like try this chicken parm and I was like no and he was like And then I saw him post he was at dinner with his family He was like, oh, oh like showing everybody's and he's like and then we got this extra one for the table So that's for you. It's for you But if he cut that shit out, I actually do think he would be fucking jacked I do he could be if he was like committed to it He could I do think he could be he could be under well could it be under 200 pounds?

Could he under 200 pounds? I don't think you'd want to see that discipline would be too great No, no, no, but I think I think he would look he could not unbelievable At like 220. Yeah, 215 220. What is he now you think three? I think he's probably more like in the 250s Wow Yeah, so if you drop 30 pounds, you look great. Don't you want to just put him On an island or something? I want to say yeah, like concentration camp island And then just make him you just invented a great theme park and your next your mom's house venture

Holocaust weight loss by known racist Christina Prasitzky First of all, everybody gets a shower every day that will curb your curb your appetite Oh my god, we can make this is like Jurassic Park level. Do you think okay? Have you thought? But it will be worth it. But it looks so good. Have you thought about though realistically? Yeah, are we gonna do sober october? And if so, what's what would the challenge because we need a challenge and it can't be the same

As before right a challenge That's the thing because he was like we should have a bodybuilding challenge like what are you talking about? Like what I mean? I say what about how about I'm just brainstorming here What about weight loss by percentage of of weight? That's a good one. But are you don't have that's the thing is a percentage But even then so you have very little to lose. I'll go I'll go full in on you. Really? Oh, yeah, I'll throw up I'll throw up. I believe you. Yeah I I rent they got to replace my pipes for free. So if I ruin them with lactic acid, it won't matter

so you But that's the thing is that like joe also Joe Joe will be like, I don't have anything to lose fucking diesel Sure, you don't mr. Obesity literally By the medical definition. Yeah, that man. It's not just overweight Obese. Yeah, I've seen him. He looks like steep Simone. Yeah That's a good point though is that I mean I mean, yeah, what are you gonna do with that's the thing? Everybody but

Bert is in decent shape running. No Everybody wants to play into their own You know strengths. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's true. That's true How about we all learn an instrument and then play our fucking concert together On halloween. That's kind of hilarious. That's really funny. It'll be really fun. I really work out challenge Um, what do you think? Again, it's tricky because you all have different strengths. So if it's like Running, you might be more inclined at that because you're long

And Bert likes to run. Yeah, he likes running on a treadmill. He doesn't like to run outdoors You guys have done yoga. Let's go through what we've already done. Can we do avoiding homeless people? It's gonna get my city yours and Bert's What if it's a totally like super gay sport like beach volleyball? That's not that gay. Dude if we played in jeans What's the gaste what if it's like no shot put like something lame like speed walking? Have you seen speed walking? It's an olympic event. It's so gay And there's just one guy there like looking like you're mentioning you're mentioning. Yeah, go back

What if it's like, yeah, what if it's shot putting or something just ridiculous that you all have to get good at? Because it has to be something that none of you are inherently good at. There is a Uh, uh, that's a good one distance distance covered like overall distance for the month people will go nuts We'll go nuts. Oh, Joe will also go into that. He'll go into that weird Fucking door in his head, but that would be cool because you can do lots of walks and he'll be like I walked 23,000 miles That's so true. Yeah, yeah It was always great until he did his one day. It was like this gotta end. Yeah

It was like it was like when jordan is like just give me the ball. Yeah. Yeah, Joe's like Joe's like I'm pissing blood And we're like, um, you should probably all right you win Uh, yeah, what? Yeah distance covered that could be something I mean, it's just the thing that like you can do every day. That's a challenge. That's a Stakes are easier you can figure out a stakes a bet because remember when burr was doing on the treadmill Like he would just be on the treadmill for like hours. That's the thing though. Is it treadmills? Like is a hack it's not yeah, it's gotta be it's gotta be like distance outdoors

Treadmills gay as fuck That doesn't count. That's why I want to do it exactly. Um Yeah, no Because I see too like what are the stakes what what and I can tell you guys you're just not joining in on text threads I'm like they want out. No, I actually that's why I'm bringing it up. I I want to do it. I want to do it I think it would be what do you need work on like if you had to be like, what do you need to work on? I mean, I would like to do like just a dead like to me this this sounds kind of broad but like an I like an intense month of discipline in other words

You know, I work out five days a week now. Yeah, and I eat pretty well, but like if you go like Make it a month of like hardcore Writing in all your meals and like Yeah, like just like a super a super committed month of of of wellness I like I can separate this to like that'd be good for the game and then I like oh, I'm in that game Yeah, I know. Fuck. I know I hate it But everything, you know, I remember is that when Bert and I not Bert I did the weight loss challenge. This is like five years ago

By the end of that challenge like my skin changed. What do you mean? It I was so healthy by the end of the of the challenge. I was only drinking water I wasn't even having coffee and and it was just like this You know, it's just like a good like a yearly once a month reset where you just kind of feel so good I would get into that, you know, but I don't know what the exact I love this idea of the extreme discipline for Bert. I want to but I want to watch him suffer with that Yes, I would like to suffer. Yeah, and I would like to add a component where he has to sit still And go inside. Oh and also, oh, I got a great one. He's not allowed to post to his stories

Dude, that's what I've been pushing the last three of these I know cell phone use but the fucking flip phone for a month. He can't even do a vacation Moment without you see his family and they're just like we're fucking doing stuff right now I'm telling you the next city date. Can you add meditation? That'd be great because that way he's he's forced to be introspective That'd be good. You can't well. I was gonna say you can't once you learn TM TM's easy. You can do it's two minutes For a long time. You don't come fuck. Yeah. Yeah. No, it's uh, you just take it you take it you get a mantra

Yeah, no, it's it's just it's transcendental meditation and you do it twice a day 20 minutes How do you how you have to go to do a class and then it takes you know a weekend and you know how to do it Twice a day 20 minutes each You can do it anywhere. You don't have to go to a class What's our mantra? That is what you're And then you do it all through the day. No, so just that twice a day 20 minutes in the morning 20 minutes in the afternoon You sit down and you do your mantra for burden. It's actually also there's an added benefit to like a super healthy month

Is that we shoot our but we both shoot in November Perfect sober before my special. Yeah, it's like just to like look okay. He just he did the thing last week He's done this forever Where he's like, I'm super healthy. I'm like good. That's good. And he goes. I haven't drank in two weeks I go two weeks and he goes well saturday, but that was I was like saturday at 19 beers I was like, well that he goes. Well, no, that was liana's birthday. What am I gonna? I go, but then you it hasn't been Do I even say the other part? Yeah, you can't help himself. Yeah, how about meditation and no no

Yeah Limited cell phone use but see limit. It's too broad too vague. No, we have to say a number. That's what I'm saying Yeah, you're allowed to post but also like scouts on or you can't have a second phone I said you can get a camera camera if you need to I think there's somebody told me Do you know this that you can um, you can put a setting it no within like instagram That that actually gives you

Locks you out instagram and not the iphone. I think instagram. Maybe iphone But I know instagram for sure you can put a setting that allows you A permitted time and doesn't allow you I do it. Yeah for instagram. It's it's it's instagram some some all together instagram Like espn youtube Like anything i'd waste time on not an email because like you know, that's why i start after 40 minutes It locks me out. Yeah, this the apps that blocks social media. That's pretty cool. I would do that for the month Let's do that. That's very very good. This is one of the reasons why I started doing language learning apps was to stop Scrolling so much. It's great. It's great because it's the same shit waste time waste time

But you're actually doing something productive but do that and add meditation 210 211. Yeah Wait, what? Say what? He's doing the same thing as that. Good. Good. Good. Tango, uh, mucho. Yes Ha ha ha Dude, I like this And then limited dude because he would drive him crazy crazy that would make him crazy. That might make him the craziest song. Yeah He's got a problem with the drinking shirt, but with the cell phone All it's impulse control stuff, right? It's like can't stop compulsively. Let's make him get off the phone. Oh my god, that'd be great Yeah

And you like give her your social media person let them promote your dates, right? You just can't do the fucking big problem or shoot a bunch now and have them let your schedule out But you can't be on there Love that and imagine how happy everyone else will be too on the internet. I don't have him to see his stupid That's another good thing. The internet's a terrible place and it's because of burt He's gonna hate this so much. I'm not fucking doing this. I'm not fucking doing this I'm right. That's how we should do it. I won't drink. I won't drink but I'm not putting my phone down Yeah

I like why don't we guys? I like being myself. Okay, and I like posting my stories. I like showing people what I'm doing Let's get flip phones for the month. Oh my god Flip phones for the month. You can talk to you. You can text your kids. It's awful to text if we did Okay, if we did um, and then you just on your computer you get on like let's say let's say we all downloaded that App that limits our usage and it gives you let's say it gives you an hour a day You split it up if you want in the morning and the whatever you get what you get your one hour I'm just making up a number. Okay, but we agree to that That's one component

Right. That's one part of the challenge. There's also sober. You're sober. Sure. That's the hardest part and then Would you do what do you think distance covered like would you like there has to be some something you can measure Oh, right because you can't measure time on the phone. One of us has to win Right if it was time on the phone, then it'd be like yeah, right, right Right, but doesn't at the end of the week or whatever the iphone give you the like that you you average this much time on Yeah, but there's always a physical we have to have a physical component All right. Okay. Also bird hates the phone thing because it's like you can't promote with that You can't you're saying

Be off a promotion machine. Right. So he's like, how am I going to promote this thing? Yeah, how am I going to parlay it and he's good at He's not it's not he's actually the he's the best promoter. Yeah, he really is like the marketing guy He really is promo king for sure. Yeah. Yeah, everyone else. I mean, I'm just like I'll be in atlantic He has like he looks like he's a fucking film crew. He's always got a parade going on behind him And yeah, he's like I brought in these synchronized swimmers I thought we're just going to dinner. Yeah What about if you guys all agreed to do like a program like what like p90x or whatever and you all do the same thing

Has to be here's the thing. Uh, yeah, the yoga thing was like, yeah, we all tied the yoga thing exactly Though here's why yoga though. Here's the advantage of thinking about it in these terms It's something that you don't have to be in Home to do it yoga you can do on the road, right? You can find you just have to make you have to wake up And find a class you have to find a class an uber out there and you're fine Right. So even if on your road you're on the road, you could do it. So maybe it is like another but that's not Measurable I know that's the thing. I know But maybe that's why we knew the thing was cool. It gave exact numbers

I know, but maybe it's it's going going back. I mean, I would do yoga again. I know it's a repeat of it But I thought that was great We did yoga with a heart thing as for uh, so like any extra yoga was great. The yoga was great I would definitely do it again This dead air has been brought to you by the holocaust There was lots of dead air in the time from 1932 We need to figure it out All right, how about this tonight? We leave you're gonna see our buddy. Yeah

Um Start the tech started with him. Yeah Like are we gonna do this because I would want to do it phone app for mental clarity Yeah, yoga and then and then some quantifiable like distance covered or or or the fucking strap or whatever exactly I hate that fucking strap too. I know every night I come home and just have to work out Um Have you seen I did for my promo. I did my first push-up since our last sober october Only working out. I've done and I was sore two days later from 10 push-ups. Is it a push-up challenge?

Rogan would win that he would just do with all his podcasts while pushing up Oh, I know who would lose for sure is bart because he did those In the la studio he did those fucking Quarter push-ups and he was like 40 I did 40 and then you see everybody wrote they're like zero zero zero Lose your pace for Hairplugs for everyone. So you've traveled you're one of the first people I think in our circle of friends that went to Hong Kong Yeah, Hong Kong such a rad city. No, you went before me. Did I go before you?

I feel like I feel like you were always in different parts of the world before any of us But but anyway, uh, you also did the suit thing, right where you got like it's such a fun experience It's so cool. You get a guy who fucking served under Mao. Yeah, and he's fucking measuring you up Is I love the experience. I love having a suit made and There's uh, I we've been to different people there, but then there's uh, there's this guy named sam sam's taylor Yeah, and he like he has a unique style. I don't know if you've seen this, but we just got these are new ones in Harry needed a beautiful suit a simple suit a classic suit Here's what I've created for him a very classic two button jacket with a shop window semi notch lapel

It's hot hot hot here in hong kong So a half lining to keep them cool And no sam's taylor video would be done without a look at our customers. Gorgeous ass. Can we zoom in on that ass? Harry Say it again, they can't hear you. Yes, I am. I am very happy with this I was like, it's why I made just gotta get weird What's coming he fucking he does this look at this ass dude. He really does I like his suit. His suit's great on the left. Yeah, the guy I mean

Here's part of the japanese mafia. He's flown down to hong kong Just to make a suit from me. He's sold all my videos And he's gonna need to help him create his signature style. I'm gonna go down on my knees because they make him very short in japan It gets better and we will look at his ass in a second Like opening up boys He's over 18 you heard that, right? This guy's great. He's amazing. He's amazing. Oh, he's gonna be my new guy I mean, that's why I want to go. I want to play in a trip to hong kong just to see this guy

We I'm I've been thinking about lately. I started to start the travel podcast. It's gotten me like Really itching to go. Yeah, take a comedy trip or some trip. Like let's just get 10 people I mean the man is so handsome. I just go see sam. Can I kiss you on the cheek on the cheek? There you go. Oh my god No problem. I'll make you another suit. Look. Look at this suit. You want a suit? You make me want to kiss him My signature one button a burgundy button deep press stitch on a fishmouth lapel Look at the roping on the shoulder my bucket of breast pocket the kick and curve the peak of the pocket square He has a dinner button. Look at it in ivory. Oh my goodness. I'm falling the pieces over this man

My 4d fit the pop over the butt. Let me open him up like I do with all men that come here Every sam's tale of pants gives you an ass like this Q. Are you happy? Very happy. Thank you He's like, all right, man I did I did not have to do it. My guy that road sold us about Dude, this this dude on a travel show would be amazing. He'd be amazing. He'd go anywhere. Can I see your ass? Yeah, I could watch this all day. This guy needs a television show You know like those stupid wedding dress shows like say yes the dress it needs to be this guy Who's like, let's see who has the best ass

Do my friend got my friend got a dress from those people. Yeah. Yeah, it's just a place in new york And any special she was just looking for a wedding dress for a wedding And then at the end she goes out picking this one and they go, are you saying yes to the dress? Yes, i'm saying yes to the dress Yeah, it's just it's so silly people really geek out on these Yeah, they do But I I've watched the suit show with this gay guy harassing people. I would fucking never stop. I would never miss every boy. Yeah And then in the end then you get to see him fuck his clients after that

Oh my god I can't remember if I wore this one to bed tonight or I I just went to bed with him From the way he's looked disheveled and all it looks like we've been rolling around the hay together But yes, it is I fucking made some buddy over here and what we've got from zenya. I think it's cool effect this time It's absolutely glorious. He gets really really hot. He's rubbing his dick practically Bucket and he blames my my fabric, but it's we all know how attractive Look, I can't keep my hands up his belly. Oh

He does not like it Roping on the shoulders. He doesn't like it just zenya fabric I have him absolutely locked in this by 3d fed the dip into the back as a 4d Don't do the butt at the back down to the back. Oh, no, I'm gonna open him up Glorious proprietary zenya lining tight tight tight tight tight come on and get it off This is the problem when he's in bed with me He just whipped it off immediately

Or the camera he gets really shy. Can we see half lining for hong kong? Can we look at that as? Can we look at the ass? The ass the ass the ass Sam still a pants for the man perfectly. Tell me you're happy I'm happy, but I'm not sure my wife will be when she hears that you've been in bed with me She blocked me on instagram already. Angie you're not a girl He's like oh my god, this is the best thing I've ever seen Fuck He's so embarrassed. He does not like it. Book me the trip already. Jesus Christ

Dude, I thought about you guys when I was in Ecuador. There's this um Ecuadorian like couple. Yeah And uh JP and Amelia and they moved to Ecuador and they just have a youtube series It's glorious. What do they talk about? Just why they move there and how their their expats and and how they love Ecuador And it's just like they sort of have these half fights. She does dancing Like sexy dancing should we move to Ecuador like stripper sort of and he's like today Amelia's going for her bra shopping That's what I'm the candy man. I get She's like you sure like those don't you?

They're so pleasant and nice doesn't sound like us at all I don't know. Maybe you wouldn't like it Tom wouldn't like Tom would never go bra shopping with me bra shopping see No, it's too girly. What do you guys fight about? Oh Oh, I'll tell you. Oh, they're there. Hi. It's a cool wave. You fucking dork. Oh my god. Tom. What? They're not as crazy for you. Let's see. Uh, here this this is uh Hi, miss Rosalind. Hey miss Carter. We just want to say happy birthday. Happy birthday. We hope you are having the day you deserve

Amen. How's the plus one doing? That's that's what they call me We love you. Happy birthday. You see his fucking retard wave. Oh my god. Did you get him? What is this fun? He posted that he it was posted Who's the lady with him? His wife future victim. You've never heard of trisha yearwood. Yeah, that's trisha yearwood. Yeah, miss yearwood They're married. That's so cool. Yeah, that is cool. Look at him. Look at those eyes. What's behind them exactly? Arie, it's been the question we've been asking for years. I can't believe you Stand up for mankind stand up for ukraine Stand up for mankind

That picture is great. She looks in legit fear of him. Yeah, she's like, why did you laugh? Well, you know, it's funny. We got this um, this message Uh, this email. Oh my god, dude. This is Unfucking believable. Okay. We Uh, obviously are talking about g all the time This is gonna blow your mind. Okay I work at nashville airport detailing and cleaning airplanes mostly private jets and one of our customers is garth Garth usually never pays for an interior cleaning and is notoriously cheap

What as people are always making sure none of us have our phones on us or are taking pictures while we clean Well, we were asked to hit a quote Quick stain on the lavatory carpet What my boss sent me in there and I was immediately overwhelmed by the smell of shit Garth shit. Yeah Oh Oh

What's it called? What is it here? Oh reference and emails. Okay dude Look at this. Think it Look at the floor. There's gaka. Yeah See the brown where it's supposed to be white. Oh wait. Yeah, he's on the floor Well, I figured he was just coming from the toilet So I got on my knees to wipe down the bullet seat

I felt something wet and I looked down and there was a massive shit stain all over the carpet Crazy part is we weren't even told it was shit in there and they wanted the interior cleaning for free. Oh, I was told I was not told a word about the carpet. Now I have garth shit on my knees I'm leaving this shit job in a month. So I'm okay to share everything What Okay, so that's the toilet. Yeah, and look at the floor dude Dude garth sprayed

What is happening? How did he miss so much? Cool stuff slick stuff neat stuff Dude garth splattered shit on the car. How does that happen re you take horrendous dumps? Uh, it comes from not sitting down all the way. Do you think so he was you have a phone call You got to get to or something instead of like one thing at a time So he clearly went to the bathroom though, right? He was it's in the so he went in there and then shit Did he change maybe do you think maybe he took off his clothes to jack off and then And then he's facing the toilet and then he was like, uh-oh

Because the look in the toilet was like, oh, I usually shit during this Yeah What does he even mean by that Yeah, that's that whole thing we we support. What did he say we support equality. He's like, uh He does that thing was like a ukraine Uh fundraiser thing where he was like we support the ukrain especially the refugees where it's like, okay And then he was like, we're gonna ask you to dig in your pockets and uh, yeah, and he's a multi multi It's so crazy wouldn't millionaires. I'm still I still don't understand the physics of this like

So so is it that he pulled down his pants and then he shit on the floor first? And then it's weird because there is shit all over the middle of the floor So that's what I was saying It's almost like you went to change clothes and you got naked and then you shit because otherwise Why would there be a shit stain on the middle of the car? Okay, did he sharked in his pants? That would be all the pants down and then mess it out and then Got a look like I mean it would be such you know, most sharts are like Small yeah, that's not probably how do you spray the carpet in front of the toilet?

I mean, that's what I'm not understanding. Have you ever done that look at the size of that? Maybe if he if it's like if it's too tight and he's I went to wipe, you know how you when you wipe something before you're fully done No, you do a halfway wipe. Yeah, and then like you don't and then more comes that more is like, uh, it's not done You wasted that toilet paper you live with that. Yeah, yeah, I'll never get that back. But yeah And so he's doing that and he's like it's too tight. He's like And he's getting worked up You know, yeah, these are all theories Wow, I mean that's or or

Or he just like shit on the Maybe you should on the seat a little bit and he just like It would be so great wiped it onto the floor. He's one of the few music artists that does regular press conferences Like he does press conferences all the time Because he'll do like his shows are such events that they'll he'll have a press conference And then the local media will be there and garth, you know, how tell us about this tour Are you excited to be in Omaha or baton rouge? And then he tells his whole oh, I love it Yeah, I was one of my favorite cities and then they have with one of them was like, did you shit all over the floor?

Oh my god, the big question and then he's just like Yeah Yeah, he just those are from like press conferences. I went to a UFC press conference once early on Yeah before it got like as big as it was. Yeah And I was just there and they were doing questions and I was just like in the back just some fighter They were like, yeah, sir. And I was like, it's your favorite color They were like what I think Dana saw me. He's like stop dude You asked the most favorite colors. Yeah

They were talking about like round three. Those are real things now. Those are real events. Yeah. Yeah Press conference. I'm still marveling at this display of shit. Like how does one spray it? It's all over it. There's the top the bottom just the physics of it. What's on the top like I see that's a mat What's and then it's just go up towards the toilet seat Is that coke in the front of it too? I don't know like yeah, it does look like it. Yeah, I don't know It's incredible and can you imagine having the audacity so he won't come on this podcast. He won't no the audacity to be like

Hey, give us a free cleaning on that too. Not like I'm mortified That I shit all over. Yeah. Hey, I'm really sorry and I'm really rich and no problem Please please charge me whatever it costs to clean up the shit stain. Nidop. You've had Batastrophes before what's your theory on this? Do you have a take on this? Um, I think there's definitely an accident involved like And it's very confusing because it is in the middle of the carpet and then all over the side So I think it's actually a couple accidents stacked together. Oh We're first the accident did in the middle and then he's like, oh my god

I need to quickly get to the and then as he's turning around he's just Uh shrapnel everywhere. Yeah, I mean the altitude maybe the altitude I knew you'd have a good theory on this. Yeah, he's spraying and moving. Yeah, which is like in hindsight He's probably like should have stayed still because it's on both sides of the toilet. Yeah, which is he moved around. Yeah That's that's the problem movement was maybe he didn't want to put his bare since he doesn't pay for the cleaning before Right. Maybe he didn't want to put his bare butt on the toilet seat and did the woman at a bar thing where he like Maybe like it started to run down his leg and he's going trish Trish Trish. It feels like cheese. It's running on my knees and as he turns, you know, sprays it all over

She's like, what's that smell? He's like, I'm shitting all over the fucking place. What do you think it is? I hate these private jets. You know how lucky you are to roll with me. You dumb fucking bitch. Jesus I love this guy too. He's like, I don't give a shit. I'm out of this job. Oh, yeah, could have been Trish that did this New theory How do we know it's garth could have been he don't it's whoever rolls with g if he loves his wife He'll fucking jump on this hand grenade. It was me Support you great. Yeah black last matter they sure Do

We love blacks and if they come to our show we're fine with them Yeah, Jesus Um, we got some we got some fun. Uh, horrible or hilarious videos to show you Okay, you tell us you tell me if this is truly horrible or funny. Okay. You ready? The last time I was well, I guess it wasn't here, but I'm scarred by some of these videos, but let's get up Let's get him I got a blunt. I just gotta go get it He's gonna bite the shit out of somebody. He better not bite me. Hey, man Ah

What's the question hilarious or what? Yeah, horrible or hilarious. Yeah Also The smallest fucking snake. I know but the foreshadowing is he's fitting to bite somebody I love a good Fidna. Yeah. Yeah, this reminds me of like you ever go up from LA to um, where the Skiing is like oh, yeah And the Mexicans it would stop and and and just look at the black next to those road snow Because I've never seen it like it's snow and you're like dude go further. It's white if you just keep going That's this gives like look at this snake

That's like a worm That is a tiny snake. I couldn't have hurt that bad Yeah, he fucking screamed Does he post this he posted this I think yeah, yeah For your new truck video here we go. No, don't don't do this. Don't do what you're gonna do Don't do there's no reason Well one of them popped up the other guys under the roof. Oh Oh, then he laid back down

House is broke No stopping of the filming at all never I mean catch it steady. I think that one guy could be In in some serious fell on them the other guy started to get up and then went back down. Yeah, that was terrible, babe Yeah, that was pretty cool. Horrible. Hilarious. Horrible. That was a horrible one. Yeah God we ride that I want to see how they pulled that house off of me feel so sad Oh, yeah, you want to see it again because they didn't even like do the thing he might have been like actually guys It's a bad idea. Yeah

I hate it Oh Head on this on the steps too Up and nope. Uh, yeah, nope Damn Oh Fucking white people that reminds this just reminds me like my immediate thought is like high school part Like that's how we used to do things in high schools. We would just go to

Some in florida. It's like someone's house or like orange groves and people would just line up and Get drunk and then something stupid would happen. Yeah, imagine like if your mom and dad or I assume just one parent there Is like don't have a party while i'm gone Oh, yeah, and then like we won't and then they do is like they'll never find out. We'll clean. Yeah, and then like House broke. There's no way to hide this. Yeah, maybe like glue it and then if it falls later like wow weird I don't know this house. You guys got a higher better contractor. Oh my god Oh, that would suck. That was terrible. Oh no traffic ones are scary too Oh

Where did he come from? Look at him. He's fine. Was he in the car? Yeah That was the driver. That's the driver of which one of the white car of the white car the car. They got hit Yeah, so no one else is going How did he get thrown out the door opened? No, see smash open the door Fuck and he gets up and gets a license. I like that. He's like that's my fucking shit over there. Yeah He's like, what? I'll get Polaris. Yeah, I'm gonna go grateful. I feel like grateful to be grateful is not a vote You've got to get into it. I don't know. I I don't think it's it's neither. This is this is uh, Thailand. It's like you sub me

It's like he's uh Jesus Okay, ready. Wow, this one's gonna. I don't feel good either from now. How did he blow out of that car? But also it seems like it would have smashed him into the car And now here I'll just let's do it again. No I mean, he it tears that thing to pieces to

He's okay, which is crazy. Well, he seems okay. It's a better way to put it Yeah, yeah, I'll even just have one little move. That might be a little last synapse It could it'll be like that's adrenaline right now and then all of a sudden they're like, oh all your internal organs Yeah, the house guy seemed okay for a second if they cut the video earlier All right, this one could be really fun at least by the description. I hate it No I don't like it Yeah, I don't like that at all cement face cement. I gotta see a close-up. There it is

Oh, yeah, that knee is Don ski wait Okay, look at his right knee right knee Yeah, how does that happen exactly? How does that happen? He hyper extended it quality training He's out of shape. He doesn't race regularly and then he fatigued and he hyper extended his knee and snapped backwards Yeah, he's not doing well Compare that to your it's very comparable

He just wasn't off except mine. Mine just was just like These just are gonna tear right now. At what point in this race does he think he's gonna lose? Like how far but he thinks he has a chance. He does. I think he's racing a much That other guy's way smaller way smaller. He was behind the other guy. He went in and then back out juked him He's not get this guy's like get up get up. He's like no, you don't think you guys come on. I'm health inspector I'll be in real trouble if That was that was terrible dude. I was giving away mushrooms that does not happen in one year. I was like, let me give mushrooms to everybody Um, all this the staff and all the comics and whatever and then I asked like the lady was in charge of safety

I was like, hey, do you like take psychedelic? She goes, I know what you're doing and I can't see it It's like, all right Yes, you're ruining her. That was terrible, babe. Yeah, that was bad. That was bad. I skimmed his head. He was full head of hair before this Yeah, that dude Oh, okay, sure. Yeah cleanse our palate. I mean if you call this a sorbet. Well, that was not a fun What what about shit in the butt? Shit in the butt stuff in the butts. I know the classics. Yeah, we got tiktoks down. These are better All right, what

Hi, this is Layla love and I want to teach Americans how to Wash your butt indian style Or how to make your own bidet cheaply Okay, so I love and you just didn't get it all totally clean. Yes talk to garth Cleanly ass is next to godly ass Got it. That's the second thing this is A water bottle right recycled and filled with tap water

You take the water bottle You kind of Open your legs a little bit pull down here tights. I'm wearing here and you pour the water over You're pussy in your ass She's great. I have to tell you that the flaw already is that there's no pressure on your balls at your guy Okay, I don't know how guys do it but Pour the water over and you actually have to touch your finger To your butthole and kind of wash it. Oh, that's not the pressure area and then when you get up you will

wash it So it's nice and clean just wash them with soap Mm-hmm wash with soap but you get the idea and that's how you can have a clean but Indian style except Our water is pure in America. We're lucky Oh, why that part? Why She took it in a different direction mixed messages. Yeah. Yeah, I think she really I think what the thing that this woman's message really is

Is that she loves attention on her butthole You know, I mean, that's that's the origin of this video. It's not to teach It's like I like my butt Played with well, she's okay Touching the she's fine. Yeah. Yeah. It's not preferable I mean that's the point of the bidet is to the the force of the water cleans your It is the best. It means the shit off. I have done it that way. Um

It me and Ryan O'Neill were hiking at Runyon Canyon Griffith Park, maybe I think Griffith Park Doesn't that actually part does not matter that much right and I had I had to shit. Yeah, I had to you know, you guys both Yeah, yeah Now I forgot you just shit on the side there I like I went over like the embankment a little bit, but then I didn't bring toilet paper Oh, so how did you was it a gnarly shit? Like was it explosive water? It was not explosive. It came out

Clean hard and fast. Okay the way you live And um Yeah, and I had to I had to wipe it. Yeah, so I had to like I had a cherry pepsi And you pour some in your hand and then you like wipe it Pour and wipe it pour and wipe like this young lady But the cherry pepsi didn't leave your ass whole sticky and it did it did Yeah, but probably less shitty less shitty. Yeah the smell later. How was that hand? You had to watch. Yeah, you had to wash the hand off too. Yeah, ryan did not want to touch me after that. Yeah

Um, you gotta share a vehicle to get to running. He didn't want to let me into his scar He was like you'd have to like wipe your hands off first. Yeah, that's that's reasonable. Yeah, we did a long hike I was like, I'll wipe it in dirt God, you're nasty. What else was supposed to do? Like, where would you do? Okay? Okay? No, no, here's what I would do. Here's what I would do. Okay I would Excuse me. I would have taken off my underwear And then wiped my asshole with my underwear and then just discarded the underwear and then put your shorts on and freeball

Fair that's not bad. But now you now here's you have a limited amount of Cloth space on the underwear. You got to get it all You can't double up space because then you're wiping shit onto your butt, right? But I mean my what I imagine my horrendous shit is compared to what yours is is probably less You're probably the high percentile for woman though But the cleanup's not Crazy honestly, it's not I don't shit a ton. Yeah, I mean I don't know but I would I would use the fabric as much as I could

Or like if I had an extra t-shirt or sweatshirt around my waist or something Or like you would have given up a t-shirt. What if it's like a cool shirt? Yeah, I don't want to care. I could buy another one Or if I had like a cap I would use the cap and then just discard the cap. No way can't use a cap. Look like like a solid brim Well the cloth on the head the dome piece is what I would use and then you get one to two wipes You get one wipe then you don't fold it over a fold over. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah You know, I just remembered is that you and I both did shit to shower Shit to shower. This is yeah

I forgot that we have this in common. It's the best. Yeah, but but I don't do it anymore because of the bidet But I'll still do it in a hotel when I'm on the road. I should to shower at least once a weekend. You don't get any cleaner Yeah, and you didn't bring that back at all during the the toilet paper shortage or cove it I feel like everybody was worried except you and I were like, oh, what do we do with that toilet paper? It's like guys What? Shit to shower You just clean it but that's what that is because you do have to like clean your own asshole and then you know But you so yeah, this lady is just like just go to the fucking shower lady

Just you're right in the bathroom already. Yeah, you don't have a shower And she's already pulled down her underwear and her pant or whatever like you're already half naked What if you're in a half bath? At your in-laws house and all you have is a bottle of water I'm gonna teach you to get through this moment and more if you follow my The sexual kiss at the end is Love the idea. She definitely has all of her pants. This comes out 9 7. What any plugs anything coming up to plug my dates That's what this is. I just said this is the moment

Go you go first. Okay. Okay Um, september 7th brooklyn the bell house. Love that place Oh, yeah, and then september 9th detroit at the mgm grand and then I just added fartnicks Fartnicks, arizona at cb live september 23rd and 24th Nashville october 6 7th and 8th and then back to judork titties carolines Biloxi Ben Salem, pennsylvania at the parks casino and then chicago next year next year All right, that's it christina be online.com. Nice. You're already booking next year. Did you know that skittles got banned?

Jesus, do you have any dates to plug? Do you know the color of skittles to help racial equality? What? Yeah, dude. Skittles is stepping up. Are you? Wait, what? Gray skittles to help racial equality. Are they gray people? It was like during june where they're like let them have the rainbow. We won't Oh Oh, yeah. Oh, no. No, that makes sense. Oh, yeah. No, okay fine

Oh my god for your favorite pride washing Oh my god So weird and then you realize like one only one rainbow matters during pride This is the gayest shit. I've ever This is gayer than two guys butt fucking scroll on the wrapper during pride only one rainbow matters That's why we have given up our rainbow to show support For the lgptq plus community for every skittles pride pack sold. We are donating one dollar to glad hundred dollar limit Oh, wow

So fucking dumb So dumb. Yeah, I love incorporations caring care. Yeah, they really care the bud light rainbow can was the my favorite Because like does any of us go to gay stuff like no, no, no, we're not even gonna throw a rave at chelsea We're just gonna have a colorful can so we can be part of it. Yeah, that's so empty. It's such an empty It's so empty and you know if like zyke has to go in the other way they'd be like we're putting on a dixie cam to be like fuck those gays We want more sales. So true All right, do you have to do anything to pull out? I do. I've started a new podcast called you be tripping. It's available starting

September 26 russia shana New year new podcast. Good job. It's off. It's a travel podcast Every episode is an hour at a new place that somebody's been to amazing. Is it always a place that you've also been to? No, it's usually not Tell me about a place and then I'll be I guess I guess sometimes when I'll talk about my stuff That's very exciting. I've done it. I've already done like eight or nine of them and they're like fun. You'd be tripping You'd be tripping. That's awesome. I like it sounds idea for a name. Um, would you like to see a couple of uh christina's Very sometimes confusing and dark. We'll see what she was absolutely

and I got philly and uh Cortland and dallas coming up and those are in september october october November and december. Okay. Go to go to orisha fear.com. That's it. That's it for all this stuff No, it doesn't oh eyes are rolling back in its head. It's like Pretty dope, right? Please fall in They're feasting on a whale carcass. Oh, yeah, isn't that rad? Wow, that is rad. Yeah, I think it's getting in there and ripping it apart Yeah, all sharks eyes roll back when the moment before they bite actually great whites, too That's your only kind of chance for survival if a great white is attacking you

Is the moment right before it bites you its eyes roll back and you can bop it on its nose and go not this time sharky Why don't you hear this? How do you know this? I've seen enough shark stuff Yeah, you follow nature's metal. Yeah, that's the best. It's just amazing animal murders. Oh, yeah I'll check it out. It's just like this is what it is. Is that that page can best be summarized as here's reality in nature. This is not what you think it is. This is what happens. Yeah You hear the animals

You come over here God needs a suit. Come on. All right. So Bert laid down Bert made a post I mean after dinner What do you think Ari? Would this work for you? Oh my god. Let's go on a date Come on. We'll get a penis nose too. He's not even saying what the date would entail. Nothing. There's no off It's like come on movie. No, it's just come over here And his tits are smushed together too. That's how mine smushed together when I lay on my side

Yeah, he doesn't even offer you anything. Just come on over come suck this dick Come over At least sit up sit up. Let's go on a date. All right. You come over here. Come over here Come on. Come on Yeah, you come over here is not a date Come over here. Come on. It's like it's going to do a dog. Yeah, it is. It doesn't want to walk because it's raining Come on. Also, if you're trying to entice a lady, let's go on a date. I'd love to take you to right That's a date. He's just like come over here. Come on. Come on. Come on

I'm sick of asking. I'm a I'm a leg just like this And you're gonna lay down there My legs are gonna be spread wide open. You're gonna have yourself a little treat. We're just gonna smarsh our fats You're gonna have dessert before dinner, bitch This might be the laziest The laziest TikTok tater I've ever seen. Yeah, that's pretty bad. There's no offer. There's nothing It's just come over here and what did you say? Let me spread my legs on your face. I mean, there's no offer

There's nothing. How do you when you say the answer? Can you see what other people have answered? No, it's not like a poll. Yeah Let's go on a bike Don't No It's so rad. No great shot right there Who's the cameraman for this? Fuck that. It's too close. It's also too close. The camera's too close. That guy's too close Everything's too close. Leave that alone. Let's you're trying to drive through Is he got a crown of thorns? No, no, no, no. Get up. Get up. Get up. Let go of that. Let go of the tail. Let go of that. Stop

Stop acting cool God damn it, dude. Fuck it with a cobra the word the craziest part about this Is that if this goes sideways and it's like what happened? Oh, I was making a video about how I could pick up a cobra It gets it. No, that's why I'm yeah Yeah, no, that's that's the lack of weight. It wasn't that you were Like walking through the woods and like something came out of no No, I just saw one on the street and I was like, oh, hey, watch me pick this up Some locals were like, don't don't touch that. But I don't think they know what they're talking about

Yeah, but here's the thing man. The views on these are just Worth it. Worth it. It's so worth it. Is this in America? No, it's a crown. Okay. That's a cobra. Is he wearing a jesus crown? I might be That's true. It's a cobra. Are there no there's no american cobra? There's no king cobra I don't think so. This is like india the wisconsin cobra. He also does not seem near a hospital No He also you can just he has the vibe of I do this all the time all the time Well, and also it's interesting that he put this a failed attempt up like was he trying to touch its head

Like what are you doing? This isn't even the wind. This is just like I grabbed its tail Like what's the goal? That's how he starts. Who's this cameraman? Who's this cameraman? He probably had other ones. Yeah I got this Jerry never listened. That's why he's not here no more, but you listen. So it doesn't it doesn't like bite him? I don't know. That was the end of it. This is day 300 of walking on all fours every day It was definitely a factor today, but since it's the last episode of season 10 I wanted to get outside and do something fun

I started off with some laps and I still can't believe how much more smooth this looks and feels I think i'm really starting to get the hang of it. I've been preparing to transition from running to all fours So I gave that a try. What preparation has done seems to have paid off because it went surprisingly well It's crazy walking all fours two more months. I'll have been doing this for over a year Thank you all for joining me on this journey now. Go get some xp guys Running on all fours the running go from a rut. We should go run on all fours We should only be on all fours. I hate this

Maybe he's just for ogan again because he's almost down there so much. Yeah, he's Guys, he dedicated a year of his life to do it at this level the running straight into the yeah Like he's a werewolf changing. Yes, and you can do like hurtle. The fascinating part about this is uh We were not designed to do this. This is completely unnecessary. Yeah, like what benefits you have I guess low hanging branches aren't a problem for you or also I'm sure it is developing his upper body strength and mobility. Yeah, but it's like You don't have to get around like this. That's why we were we were built this way and it can't be good for your spine Or your head or your neck. I can't imagine but don't you wish this were an olympic sport?

Yes, it'd be fun to watch people. It would. Yeah, like jumping over hurdles and shit I would love like horses do this and then people They get caught like put it down So damn dude, I saw a woman like this in Ecuador with her hurt legs went backwards Yeah Yeah, we were driving. Oh my god And then I just the word for my partner was like turn around turn around turn around I'm like what like turn around we had to turn around and we saw it was like

Yeah, like I can't it's like a let's go back. Oh my god. So the knees went I can't even do it like this way Yeah, and around there's pictures of like like Artists renditions of that kind of thing Hands on the ground. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So butt's out. Oh, and then straight out. Okay. I'm sad. I'm perfect Perfect. Yeah That is the good part I Hand dancing

Finger fitness that was the first finger glove dance that I created as an introduction to the first video Finger fitness the art of finger control. Oh, this is Greg Irwin Do you love it so dumb this is one of the dumbest things I've ever seen in my life All right, oh, this is Greg Irwin Waiting You heard of us guys. You're like, this is the finger control guy I knew you'd love this. I just grabbed his zine, but I didn't know Like oh this guy's great. That's another you loved it, right? I knew you would love that. You guys have to do finger fitness

You're finger dancing. Do do do. Do it like it's like do this high level This is how I started My empire of finger dance. I wonder what this guy's ex-wife thinks of him now He's still doing his stupid fucking finger stuff, huh? That's 1988. Okay. What's worse? What's worse finger fitness or a spouse that plays the spoons and you have to listen to them practice the spoons Finger fitness or I feel like the spoons are more disruptive. You'd be like hearing like, you know spoon clanking if somebody hits the plate with their fork three times You're like, can you fucking pick that thing up, man? So like that shit you would be like

At least this he could go into an office and you wouldn't hear it necessarily, you know But he's like, babe, check it out. I know look at my fitness level today. Yeah, you just pretend to be Yeah, I'm doing something. That's a real Burt workout. Yeah, like a finger dancing. Yeah, he's like I did a lot 22 miles today on the fingers We need a term for that like a burk out Yeah, where it's like that's not an actual workout, dude. Yeah, it doesn't count, dude I drink on the treadmill. Yeah, if you're drinking while you do it, it's not We're not gonna register it this guy's great. Oh hell. Yes. Oh, no

It's for you guys I figured we had a cool guy on here. We need a cool girl. Did she glue them to her face? Yeah That's why she's all shiny. Yeah, what's the blue on the tongue for that's just the lollipop. She was eating and then She's cockroaches crawling around her first. I'm gonna do some snake on her head It's just for you guys to keep you hard. She doesn't seem pleasant She's not pleasant. I don't like her at all. Like she doesn't have the enthusiasm Because I don't want anything to do with you. Quit calling my aunt. Quit messaging my sister-in-law Quit trying to pull my friends and family into this. You won't close her. Here's your closure. I don't like you get over it

This is my favorite type of tiktok. That's a lipstick is a public message Uh that is meant for one person. Yeah, she doesn't know how tiktok works Yeah, this is this is a public forum. Yeah, this is broadcast and It's not a dm. Yeah, I just like telling everybody she seems like a white walker too. Look at those nothing eyes You know, it's funny. I this morning. I thought to myself get over it. Should I cut bangs? And then you see somebody like that and you're like, I shouldn't do bangs. It should not it's over. It's a tough look She's got health issues. Dude Yeah

You know when it really started when no one no one pushed the line back when they go, um You know, my dad's been gone 10 years today And like what who are you writing to? Yeah, you were the greatest. You're not you. He he was the greatest He's not reading your feet. We should have had heavy pushback in society. Yes, and we didn't and now we get this Now you get this and it's always like you're sick. I'm sick of your shit. You're like, who are you talking to? I'm like Martha Martha What if she was like really high level at finger dancing? Can you imagine that if she if she was like I also I'm sick of your shit

Stay away from me. I'm showering every day. Not only do you ruin your hair, but you ruin your skin as well There's a natural biome on it If you eat what you're supposed to be eating you won't stink and you should use a wet one on your butt I hope you don't need to be told that Wake up. I still love you Now we remember who this is, right? This is nick hawk. He used to be a hoe on um jiggalos the showtime show And you could hire him to to hoe out and then Now he's like this nature

Natural smell. Yeah, he's been I bet he's not ready to order it. No, he's been doing like that's what he used to look like When he was working as a hoe and now he's more he's leaned out and he's um more natural homeopathic Type so he'll tell you not to use chapstick. You don't need to wash your hair anymore Look at that Natural more natural. Yeah, so he's he's maybe changed lanes. I don't know if he's uh prostitute anymore I don't think he's prostituting anymore. Yeah prostuting is natural Sealed his job. It's a whole different vibe whole different. It's if different energy You see the persona changed everything. Yeah, I like this this gentle. It's like a new identity

I like the new nick. Hmm. Yeah, he's not as hard. Don't shower every day. He's into his hair though, too Hell yes The dragon chasing the ball Very slow But did not kill him That is completely unnecessary For a demo by the way, he said we're gonna go here and then here he went straight at his neck He went straight to his neck. There's no way to slide it out. This comes from

the dragon Chasing the ball Slowly quite quick see that's how I would do it But I'm gonna go here Just straight to the next What do you mean? He didn't do that. He didn't do the thing at all. So he's killed him. I mean He hurt that guy for sure. He has windpipe and if that guy was like, hey You fucking hurt me. He'd be like shut the fuck up. Okay

He's like I have video of you saying what you should have done for safety precautions. You didn't follow it Yeah, he'll be there cut and dry case. I'm a dragon and I was chasing the ball But he did that whole chinese accent like This comes from the the dragon Chasing the ball The actor was not of a dragon chasing a ball not at all to not kill him I will go against his chest and then yeah, and then he just chokes the guy. Steven's a girl's burp fat. He threw that guy Yeah, he is

And I love his jet jet black hair. It's the fucking for a 68 year old man. It's very natural It's so hard to get that hair dark in nature. Yeah, it's insane. Very few people have that jet black hair naturally It's fucking crazy That's great All right, he's never stopped giving it as all of the fans never never never especially in eastern europe. That's where they really love them Um, we gotta go. What do we decide for so rocked over we've narrowed it down to what limited fucking phone use Walking sobriety sobriety, of course at the physical components the one everyone has to weigh in on whether it's distance covered for a month It cannot be on a treadmill. Can't be sure outdoor distance

Fans weigh in give us some ideas I'm sure they'll all be very serious. Yeah But like legit ideas. We're dumb Yeah, we're not smart. Yeah, that's why we do this So true All right. All right. Good to see you man. It's you guys. Thanks for coming. Yeah, your house is looking really nice these days. Thanks Happy rush of shana. Yep Try it out

I'm looking for girls for pussy Hey, baby This let me eat you one time Gonna blow your mind like one of segura's punch lines passing the rock He's gonna dunk in his crunch time eat a chicken sandwich chicken sandwich for lunch time Big ups to the cool mom christina peak the real og ftt rtd Blancola straight out of hungary stepping in the room like I heard you bitches was looking for me. All the ladies loving Tom. He like, okay. Cupid. Not a chance. He knows

Waterchamp make the panties damn till they spilt turn your face into some coffee. Here's a splash of milk Blood sport on the court. So girl is schooling you if not meet you in the parking lot Good morning, Julia Cracked up the side of your head lick a bottle. That's what happens when you're trying to go full throttle Keep our high and tight while your mates hella dope blast off I try to do a telescope Pilling neutron want to know what i'm about take a step in my jeans, baby Try it out. Try it out, man. If in my building try it out. You want to fuck a piss on me? Try it out

Seriously, probably only this fuck man. I'm looking for hardcore guys that mean it want to do it and I want to deliver it I'm a hot