Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - 684 - Your Mom's House with Christina P and Tom Segura

Episode Date: November 30, 2022

YMH LIVE is BACK! Just in time for the holidays! Come join us for A Very Cool Christmas, Dec. 9th at 8pm CT. Get your tickets NOW at https://livestream.ymhstudios.com/ Welcome back to the Mommy Dome with Tom Segura and Christina P! We take a stroll down memory lane with cool guys and cool parents. We open the show with cool announcements, review some cool vroom vrooms, and Mike Pence calling his wife “Mother.” Tom shows us one of the saddest things to come from the hurricane, we see a cool campaign video, and Christina shares a Pazsitzky Effect related to browning, and we learn about “R” Plates.  We try to check in with Kiersten again about her teeth, Tom shares some upsetting videos with Christina, and discuss the talent that came from In Living Color. We then take a look at an intense cool guy and wrap up with a HUGE batch of upsetting TikToks. https://tomsegura.com/tourhttps://christinaponline.com/tour-dateshttps://store.ymhstudios.com/https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast

Tickets are on sale right now for YMH Live, a very cool Christmas, December 9th. Join us, we have YMH Originals special guests, Bobby Lee and a whole lot more, a very, very heavy segment. VIP package with the great Josh Potter. Go to livestream.ymhstudios.com. Most, above all, is balls. That's what I, you know.

That's your jam. I always go like. Yeah, really get in there. Yeah. Yeah. But I'm glad you do because you're, you're whiff testing and then it benefits me. Cause I'm sure if it's really bad,

then you're not going to bring those balls into my area and my face. Cause I've never like whiffed them real. Welcome, welcome, welcome to your mom's house. Ah. Vocal, fly. Nah. Vocal, fly.

Vocal, fly. Vocal, fly. Vocal, fly is everywhere. Vocal, fly is everywhere. umm.. Speech peacologists call it disorder. Disorder. Disorder!

Disorder! Disorder! Disorder! Disorder! Disorder! Disorder! Disorder! Disorder!

Disorder! Disorder! Disorder! Disorder! Disorder! Disorder! Disorder! She's a little vocal fryer.

Vocal fryer. Vocal fryer. Vocal fryer. Brrrrrrrrrrrr... Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr... Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr... I feel like vocal fryer. It's kind of out of fashion now, yeah.

Kinda faded out, but it was pretty rad. You bet I'm coming up in May. Nice shirt. Thank you. Thank you. I want all the cups. Show me that you like me. Yeah.

Well this is in honor of last week's episode. Yes. I actually took a deep dive on the cool guys and it just had me remember how much I love them all. And by the way, people that are curious, second degree burns, not third degree. Interesting. So you finally went to the doctor. I went to the doctor. I went to the dermatologist.

And? And I have second degree burns and I have creams and solutions and... It's so bad. It looks horrible. Thank you. It's looking worse. Worse or why worse? It's called the healing process.

Thank you. Why worse or does it hurt to put the cream on there? No. It hurts with everything else though. Yeah. Is it going to blister and stuff? Yeah. Cool.

That should look cool. Yeah. It should look pretty cool. Well, at least your nose stopped bleeding. That's nice. Yeah. Well, you know. Oh, I can feel it.

Okay. What did I say? I can feel the blisters. I thought we were going to cool it. I can feel the things. Homosexual coming for this episode. What? What?

This is the worst sound in the world. Homosexual coming? No. Just Leo coming. Oh. I actually like RPCs coming more than I do. Leo's coming. That is a wild thing to say.

Because RPCs comical. He's like, oh, yeah, I'm going to come. He makes a big production. Leo's production is shorter. It's just more theatrical. RPC is all about the theatrics. He's an entertainer. Yeah.

I like to coding island. Oh, get off. Yeah. I'm going to come now. I'm coming. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, baby. Oh. Oh, get off. So dramatic.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Yeah.

God, guys sound terrible when they come. Yeah, it's not the best sound. It's not. It's not pretty dignified. Oh. Yeah. It's not what you sound like. If you sounded like that, I'd run.

Really? Every time we did it. I still think it's a really beautiful sound for a man to make, usually, right? I mean, yours is beautiful. Oh, is it? And you're beautiful in me. Oh. Oh.

And that looks like Burke coming. Yeah. Oh. Sweatin' like a black man. All right. God, babe. I know. I know.

It's just exciting to have all these buttons here. I know it is. Yeah. You have a hard time not pushing all these buttons. All these buttons are so exciting, but all my friends coming. Just have a whole bank of my friends. Yeah. That is so gross.

Did you ever hear your parents come? No. Thank God. I don't think I've ever heard my parents come. I think you probably have and you blocked it out. Yeah, probably. I think you have. Oh, I have.

That didn't take long. I forgot. I did block it out because I did block it out. Yeah. So traumatic. So traumatic. You heard both? Not my mom.

That's my dad. My dad was the hypersexual, different women every other day in the house. You heard him finish? Well, yeah. Yeah. It's kind of neat, right? I know. No one should hear that.

I've seen. I've heard. It's just too much information for a young girl to process. I'm sure you heard. I've heard all that, yeah. Yeah. Did you not hear your parents do that? Yeah.

You never heard them fuck? Never. Never. Did you even, did you come in like right after they fucked? No, what I did once, like, one time I tried to open the door and it was locked, so I knew, but you couldn't hear a peep. And then one time, I still remember, I was in Milwaukee in the house. And I said, I said something to my dad as he was walking up the stairs and he was like,

what's that, buddy? And he had this smile on his face and he had clearly just showered and I was like, did you just have sex? And he goes, mm-hmm. And I was like, ugh, like that. That's in my head. But thankfully, didn't get to see or hear a fucking thing. Now, I did, I was told the story about the first time I spent the night away from home.

I went to a cousin Brie Brie's house. Mm-hmm. And late, I don't know, let's say it's like 11, I was scared, I wanted to go back home. So Dave walked me back home and, you know, we lived two doors down from them. So he just walked me down the street and I was, and we walked in the house and I don't remember any of this, but they told me that we walked in or, you know, I walked in the room and I was like, what were you doing to mom? Oh, no.

And I was like, oh, why were you on top of her? So I must have seen it. But I thankfully have zero recollection of it. Yeah. That was probably five or six, you know. Yeah. I walked in on my dad banging girlfriends. At one time, there was like a storm.

I was little, like seven years old and there was a storm and I was afraid of lightning and they were fucking, I walked in and I was like, oh no. And he's like, get out of here. I'm like, okay. But I'm scared. That's healthy. Get the fuck out of here. I'm trying to come.

That kind of stuff. That's a good story. There are just so many girlfriends. It's just a blur to quote the great brace. Ho ass brace. Yeah. You called him a ho to his face. Yeah.

I was like, cause you were a ho in. He's like, I wasn't like a back alley hoe. I was like, sure you were. That's so funny. You were a ho in. Yeah. I'm trying to think. I remember one time my dad had a girlfriend who lived with us and she had a little girl

who lived with us who was like three years younger than me. And her ex-husband was like a coke dealer. Cool. And then my dad told me this for some god awful reason. I was young. I was like seven or eight. And then they were going to meet. The girlfriend was going to meet the ex-husband at Chuck E. Cheese with her daughter.

And I heard Chuck E. Cheese. And I was like, well, can I go? Like, I want to go to Chuck E. Cheese. Yeah. Fucking let me go. She doesn't want to go to Chuck E. Cheese. Yeah. But it was to meet the coke dealing.

Ex. Ex. And I've sensed it really quickly. I was like, oh no. I just didn't. I got, I got bad at vibes. But I got to eat ice cream that day and that was pretty cool. You know what I mean?

Yeah. Chuck E. Cheese. Pizza. Whatever. Did you witness a bad exchange? Yeah. They were fighting and it was ugly. And I, yeah.

You mean he deals coke? Yeah. He was a scary guy. And I remember him yelling at her in the parking lot. Like as they were, we were walking in the car and I was like, oh no, this guy's going to stab us or whatever. Jesus Christ. Yeah.

And I was like, this guy's going to stab us for a while. Lived with you, huh? She lived with us, which was wild. Yeah. My dad didn't let many hoes live with us, but she was one of them. But he liked, she was special. She was special. Yeah.

She was American too. So they don't, they didn't last long. The Americans. No. Because they couldn't take the demands. Yeah. The more I was one, my favorite dad's girlfriend was an American lady who had really long hair and she was the Albertsons checkout lady.

Oh. And yeah. And I really liked her. Did she live there? Yeah. She lived with us for a while. How long is a while? I think like a year maybe.

That's a good while. No. She didn't last. She wanted to have children with him. Oh Jesus. No thanks. He was like, get the fuck out of here. Yeah.

Yeah. I just wanted to get married. Like stupid bitch. You know what I mean? Like fucking dummy. I want you to get married. Idiot. Yeah.

All right. Let's hear it. Let's open the show. Oh yeah. This is to Linda and Ann Dooley. I can't send you nude pictures no more. I don't think you pay me enough. And I'm sorry about last time I visited you and all the butt stuff and whatnot.

Love y'all. Bye. This shit is big time. Oh it's rad. Fun vibes. Don't bring anyone loving to this. Don't burn when the fuck is there. Sorry.

Welcome. Welcome to your mom's house. With Tom Segura. Tom Segura. And Christina. Now is just. Christina. Christina.

Christina. Welcome to your mom's house. Turn it off. Now. Now. Now. Now. Now.

Now. Now. Now. Now. Now. Now. Now. Oh thanks bro.

Watch this. Watch this. Ready? I tell you what chicks love most about my lipsticks. Yeah. My lipsticks. I don't know why every lipstick is not made this way. Yeah I know.

Watch. Watch. Oh. Magnetic. Yeah. MF clothes. And it makes me crazy that all lipsticks don't do this because otherwise it opens in your purse and destroys your purse.

And by the way congratulations because you have a hit on your hand. It's a hit. It's been on fire. Women and men across America. Non-binary and very friendly to all the genders are purchasing this and they love it. Very cool. You should get it for your lady for Christmas or Chanukah. Yeah.

Or whatever you celebrate. Quanzah. Whatever. Yeah. Who else am I forgetting on this holy time? The Buddhists. The Buddhists. The Muslims.

The Muslims. I have a message for you. Yeah. I'm not going to say this again. Wherever it speeds down my grandma's street by our house needs to stop it. I'm trying to go to sleep. Please get these street racers off our. Oh, I thought you said he was peeing on the street.

No. Speeding. Yeah. I agree with this man's. I got to say, you know, I'm an auto enthusiast. I don't like people that speed down residential streets. I really don't. Oh, that isn't that interesting.

Why? Really? I think it's unsafe. No, I agree. I think it's unsafe. I think it's rude. I think it's rude. And especially in nighttime when he's trying to sleep.

Yeah. When you're trying to sleep. His fucking grandmother lives there. Not cool. You know what? It's such like a Southern phenomenon. What? I don't know what they're called.

But you see them in Austin and downtown. Yeah. There are these vehicles that are just like three wheelers. Yeah. Here's what I'm talking about. And it's like one wheel in front. People peddle? The peddling one or no?

No. They're actual Vroom Vroom's. Oh. Motorcycles. Okay. So I'm talking about in downtown like dudes cruising them and they play really loud slingshots. Yes. Those?

Yes. People love these things. The slingshot. I've only ever seen this in the South. Oh, I've seen it a lot of places. On the West Coast? I've seen it everywhere. I never saw this in Cali, dude.

But I have seen them a lot in Austin too. That's true. So what is this exactly? It's not a car. It's not a motorcycle. No. It's, you know, it's a three wheel open top car. I mean, it seems like, it looks like it's fun.

Yes. It looks like it's all fun vibes. Definitely. But is it street, it's street legal, right? It is street legal. I mean, I've seen them everywhere. It just seems dangerous now. It definitely feels like that in an accident you would be doing so hot after that.

You'd be at a disadvantage. Yeah. It must meet safety, you know, requirements. Well, it definitely meets a whole requirements because everybody in one of these blares their music. I think you, you ride in these just for cruising. You see a lot on cruising. Yes.

Yeah. And so loud. You're right. I've seen people that there's no way they're hearing normally after they get out of it. No way. Because you can hear them coming a block away. It's just, and it's not the engine. It's the music.

It's just they're bumping whatever nonsense they're into. Yeah. It's so. I wonder if, are those fast? Like the slingshots? Are they, I don't know. Uh-oh. Are you going to get one?

No, I'm not. I'm really not. I'm just curious. Tom rolls up in his slingshot. I've never, I've never, um, I've never, it goes 125. Oh, it's fast. No. Okay.

2.0 4-cylinder engine. 170. So maybe it doesn't weigh very much. Oh, okay. Oh, 0-60 time is 4.9 seconds. I mean, that's not, um, you know, elite fast, but that's not slow. That's, I mean, that's moving for a 20 year old car. You know what I mean?

Like that would be. That's actually like decently fast, man. It only weighs 1,600 pounds. Okay. That's very light. So do people write these on like MoPak? Can you write these on the freeway? I've only seen them on city streets, interestingly enough.

I've never, I haven't seen them, but it must be street legal meaning you can take it wherever. Bro, could you imagine being in a freeway accident and one of these? Oh, Jesus. You're just fucking dead. Well, also those smart cars, I think about that. You're using a smart car? Yeah. Well, sorry.

You mean the tiny ones? It's tiny. It's called a smart car. I'm smart. And they are fucking. Yeah. They're just dead. I saw a crash test that involved one of those.

It might be on YouTube where you go like, well, how did this pass the safety? If you look at like a crash test on YouTube, because like it just gets what, well, what you would imagine. Yeah. You know, an escalade hits that thing. Are you kidding me? Bro. And especially here in Texas, when everyone's got those F-150s.

Look at that second one. They'll fucking kill you. Aw, man. Yeah. I mean, that's an old one. That's an old one. But they are just, they're so small. Yeah.

It's so dangerous. No, this guy's like, it's cool. This guy's a dork. Yeah. He's absolutely. He's like, and this is where I. That one's just. That's penis in there.

Oh, dang it. I mean, look at that. Yeah, you're dead, bro. Fuck. Because there's like no. Boom. Yeah. That's not even that bad considering, is there another one coming up here?

They're going to, they're going to smash it like a watch crashed us. Yeah. That's it. That's it. Just hitting a wall. But imagine if a truck just like, yeah. Oh yeah. Dude, you're dead.

Yeah. That doesn't seem like it would. Oh my. It feels like it would be worse than what we just saw though. That sucks. Right? Aw dude, there's your, your neck just snapped dude. Yeah.

Someone T bones you and that thing. You're fucked. You're just dead. Yeah. Do you ever see these motherfuckers rolling around here with like no doors on their jeeps and shit? Oh yeah. You're like, what are you doing, bro?

It's very popular. It's very popular. It's so crazy. I think there's somebody right in there that does that. Is that what you're doing? Any? Please say you have doors on your car. I mean, it's all modular so you can take anything off you want.

So sometimes I take off the doors, yeah. Yeah. You can take off the hood. You can take off the doors. Or not the hood, but the top. You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? Don't get dehydrated.

Remember that one? Dehydrated. Did that change your hydration habits at all? The conversation? Come on. You know me by now, man. I saw so many memes about it. Maybe it got to him.

No. See, that's what's great about any is his steadfastness to like whatever nonsense he believes in. It really sticks to it. The hydration one, though, is a wild one. I mean, some of his stuff, I'm like, okay, but he was like, pain ain't shit. I'd rather deal with the pain of kidney stones than drink. In a weird way, I feel like I would kind of celebrate it, you know?

It'd be like something I could be proud of. I got through that shit, you know? No problem. The top is like, no. You're going to pass out from the pain when you get it. It really hurts. No, you're going to pass out from the pain. Yeah, it really hurts.

No. Bet. Bet. Bet. No. $1,000. You'll get a kidney stone. Don't worry.

I don't understand it. We'll get to see this play out in real time. Don't worry about that. I don't want to, though. What a psycho. Yeah. So do you want to know something I heard? Yeah.

That made me really LOL. Did you know that Ronald Reagan used to call Nancy Reagan? Mommy? I did not know that. Yes. And that's so interesting. Hey, Mommy. I mean, we started doing it as a joke is in like, what's the worst thing to call your

spouse? Yeah. This fool really did call her mommy. But the one I did hear about was Mike Pence. And I think it's much worse. What? He calls his wife mother. No.

Yeah. Mother is even more maternal and deeply asexual. Mother is just, you guys are not fucking anymore. Yeah. Oh, they don't fuck. Look how unhappy they both. He, um, this. This is right.

Woof. Oh, shit. Is that what we're going to look like when we're old, Tom? We're right there. What are you talking about? He's 46. Yeah. Oh, shit.

Yeah. These two don't fuck, do they? I don't know. Or they fuck hard a lot. I don't want to fucking think about it. It's one or the other. There's no middle ground for these two. No, they don't fuck.

Yeah. I think they probably were of the, it's for procreation. Yeah. They're real Christian types, you know. Oh, yeah. I know. Conservative. Sure.

Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. I don't think he teabags or anything, you know. No. I wish he did though. God.

You do? You think he does? What a bummer. You think he jerks off and lowers his bag into her mouth? I think he jerks off to stuff, everything but his wife. He's probably into some deep demonic shit. Those guys always are. And then he's like, mother wouldn't like this.

Yes, that's how it is. Mother. Yeah. Mother. That's way too. Weird dude. He's definitely a weird guy. Yes.

That's the fucking vice president too. So crazy when you think about who gets to the highest powers, positions of power in this country and you're like, this fucking guy. And they're mostly just dipshits like you and me. It never changes really. Doesn't matter who wins. Usually you're just like, this is who's fucking in charge of everything. Same shit, different toilet mail.

There's very few exceptional people that rise to presidency when you think about it. I mean, how many exceptional people have led the country? Truly intellectually gifted. It feels like if you think that they're really exceptional that they were probably around before. Like you couldn't have been alive during that time. You only qualify them as exceptional if you're like, I didn't get to witness it firsthand. Cause if you witness it firsthand, you're like, that's pretty much not an exceptional person.

Pretty mediocre. I mean, I can talk about the most beloved, like Ronald Reagan was. He was pretty beloved. Pretty beloved. But you know, nothing, it's never, it's never like unanimous. No. There's plenty of people that hate the fuck out of that guy. Yes.

You know, and there's plenty of legit criticisms with him too. But yeah, I mean, I don't know, it's also weird that he was an actor. I know. I don't know. I just kind of feel like you were an actor. I know. And then look at Schwarzenegger became the governor. I am a governor.

And then a reality show star became our prez. I know. So this, we have this. I'd rather almost have like a real boring type like George HW. Yeah. Because he was, you know, he led the CIA. I'm like, yeah, just make CIA people in charge. They know everything that's going on.

Just go ahead. That's true. I don't care if they have a personality. I don't want the personality either. I'm not concerned about the popularity. You should have a rule that like you have to be boring, kind of stiff. Just look over at data. Right.

You can be president. Like the Evie Mike guy needs to be. The Evie Mike guy could be president. The Evie 103. I agree. If you're charismatic and you can give a good speech, you should not be allowed. Yeah. That should immediately take you out.

They're like, it's way too charismatic and too engaging. We want like, I want a guy that's like on the spectrum, like really dialed in, workaholic, focused, just knows facts, likes to have facts and knowledge. CIA guys. Yeah. Yeah. It's perfect, Tom. We just figured all this stuff out.

Mother. Mother. Father. Mother. Then she calls him father. Ugh. Dude, weren't you really calling each other? No, but she definitely has a nickname for him, I'm sure.

I wonder what it is. I don't know. Horstic. Horstic? Well, Horstic Pence. What's his name? Mike. Mikey.

What if he had a huge one? It's always the people you don't expect. We know that. You always think it's like this guy and you're like, no, and then it's like that weird guy who's like 5'7", 150 and you're like, look at that dick on this guy. You never know. You never know. You never know.

That's the joy of the locker room. You know what's funny though is last night our four-year-old was like, who's Jean? Like you finally got him. Call me Jeans for so long. He's like, who's Jean? I'm like, I'm Jean. Why do you call each other Jeans? Yeah.

What'd you tell him though? I go, oh, that's our nickname. That's what daddy calls mommy Jeans. It's just a nickname like we call you. Hey motherfucker, you call yourself Jeep. I know. That's his latest. Call me Jeep.

It was bingo for a hot guy. Bingo for a minute. Teacher for a year. Teacher stuck for a long time. But now it's Jeep. Totally insane. He loves Jeeps. If you go, Julian, he's like, don't call me Julian.

All right, Jeep. I'm going to call him Grand Cherokee and see if he likes it. You won't know. You won't know. No. Silly little brisket. You want to see something? This is one of the saddest things I've seen, ready?

Oh, great. Well, first, it's pretty wonderful, right? That's a P1, very rare build. They made 375 of them. Okay. That's his Rolls Royce. He had that too. That was as the hurricane started to hit Florida.

Devastating. That's where he found his P1. Oh, no. It's a million dollar car. That is devastating. Can't they, couldn't he have gotten them to safety? I mean. You have enough money.

Sadder than anything I saw happen. Any other human loss. Right here. Literally irreplaceable. I mean. Yeah. Devastating. You know.

It's not that hard to reproduce people. It is hard to reproduce a McLaren P1. I agree. It is a piece of art. It is. It is a stunning vehicle and it's a collectible and there you go. Flush that fucking 1.2 million down the fucking, Jesus. It's such a waste.

It is. I wonder what that insurance conversation is like. Oh my God. I wonder if they're like, well, technically when these went on sale, they'd cost 460 and you're like, no, no, no, no. You know. Because you know insurance companies absolutely lose their shit. I mean, it's the why you have it.

Of course. When I lived in Florida, I mean, I was obviously a kid, but by the time I was out in LA a few years into that, there was all these areas where they wouldn't even give you hurricane insurance anymore. Seriously? Just like in LA, there's places in LA where they're like, you can't get fire insurance. Oh, like Malibu, probably. There's areas where they're like, no, you won't give it to you.

Because it's so bad. That's what it's for. And they're like, I know and we think we'll lose. So. No. You don't get it. It's so horrible. It is.

Man. You gonna rip one in the mic? No, try not to. Well, you'd think that he, you know, they give you notice when your hurricanes are coming, right? That's one of the things is that this fucking guy too, it's like, what do you think was gonna happen, man? Yeah, like put that car somewhere where it's not gonna drown.

Throw it on a truck and get it out of town. Yeah. I know. Like you've got the means. Right. You could have gotten a transport truck there. Yeah. You know?

Or just. Or worst case. Like worst. No, because that probably would have not. It would have flooded it. But the worst case scenario is you get in the car and you drive out of town. I know. You think you drive your million dollar McLaren out of town.

I'm getting this out of here, man. I know. Dang. Yeah. Because he's not, he doesn't get the excuse. Some people go, I couldn't leave town because I'm poor. Yeah. Like I couldn't afford to leave town.

I couldn't pay for gas and pay for a hotel and pay. And you're like, okay, this guy can. I know. I know. You can afford stuff. Maybe he's so rich that he is like, I don't care. I just lost my million dollar car. Well, he has been posted.

He did post it like it was like, hey. Like an LOL post. Yeah. Almost like, can you believe what happened to my bouquet of flowers? What's 50,000 to an N word like me? Could you please remind me? Ball so hard. That's a cray.

What? It's a lyric. Hello. That's what I'm trying to say. What? I didn't say it. Violent crime is surging in Louisiana. Woke leaders blame the police.

I blame the criminals. A mom should not have to look over her shoulder when she's pumping gas. I voted against the early release of violent criminals and I opposed defunding the police. Look, if you hate cops just because of the cops, the next time you get in trouble, call a crackhead. I'm John Kennedy. Dang. I'm voting for this guy. Yeah.

Pretty great. He said crackheed. Crackheed. He didn't even say crackhead. Wow. Next time you get in trouble, call a crackhead. Crackheed. Crackheed.

And that probably, I mean, was so effective. So popular. In Louisiana. Hell yeah. That's my guy. Hell yeah. Southerners love this kind of shit. Straight talk.

It's crazy to be in politics and your name is John Kennedy too. I know. He's like an unfair advantage already. So lucky. But wait, were Kennedy, no, they weren't Jews. They're okay. What? I don't know why I thought they were Jews for some reason.

Jews? The Kennedys, but they're not Jews. Catholics. Yeah. No, I know. Yeah, that's why. Thank God. You're really on a terror day, huh?

Sorry. I was just. Jews and n-bombs. No, I didn't say it. I was trying to. You're not getting along with the booth? No, I wasn't. Guys.

Happy Hanukkah. You do. What did you say? That's something, Joey. I don't know. What did you say? But you do. You do.

You do. Happy holiday. Happy holiday. Jesus. Don't make that face. You're like, ugh. Yeah. Didn't sound very good.

You do. Yeah. That was a great. I wish. I wish. I wish. I wish. I wish.

I wish. I wish. I wish. I wish. Yeah. That was a great. I wish. I wish more politicians were crazier like that because then you know who that dude is.

Oh yeah. You know this guy is a thousand percent. I'm like, oh yeah. If I'm with them. But don't you feel like that? Because most people who vote, like most people who go to the voting booth, right? I don't know. They might know a couple of the people.

Yeah. Maybe. I don't know anybody. Some of them are just like, you just see names. They see parties. But if somebody was completely uninformed and they're going to vote and they see John Kennedy, they're probably like, all right, like just check it. Kennedy.

It sounds familiar. Yeah. Sure. Why do I know that name? It's like an asshole. He knows what he's doing with that name. He knows exactly what he's doing. You know what you're doing, sir.

Sir. His skin is very baby soft looking, yet still wrinkly. It's really weird. It's a lifetime in Louisiana. It's very humid down there. It's very humid. It's very porous. It opens you up.

You crack head. Crack head. Crack head. Oh, mother. They always do that too. It's like, they always go straight for the women and children, the mothers and the children. Yeah. That'll get them.

Mm-hmm. You don't want a mother to have to look over her shoulder. Yeah. He knows how he's doing this thing. Yeah. He's doing it right. Yeah. Jesus.

Not these young hoors getting abortions. Now, you were, you made an observation about- I did. But when you- Oh, yeah. Yeah. So here's another thing that I've been doing for my entire life. And then I just became cognizant of it lately.

Okay. So I, when I sit down to make brown, I cannot brown if I have bare feet on cold floor. I have to have warm feet. And I have to have like a rug under my bare feet. Yeah. I cannot brown without it. What about like, can you put slippers on or something? Can you put slippers on or something?

Would that work? Barely. Like that. I need an actual piece of material under my feet, like a rug or something. I need a rug. Yeah. I don't like it. And in hotels, I'll take a towel, fold it in half just to have the thing under my feet.

Isn't that wild? Because the cold, if it's a cold floor on your bare feet, then you're like- I can't poo poo. I can't relax enough to go brown. It's too cold. It's too cold and it makes me clench up. Is that weird? Very.

It is? No. How do you shit? You can shit anyway. You can shit in a blizzard probably. I don't think so. No, I don't like being cold either. I know what you're talking about.

When you're browning. And then like a cold floor on a bathroom feels even colder than, you know, because usually it's tile or marble or something like that really carries the cold. So I know what you mean. I wish they would carpet bathrooms. Why don't they carpet? I think because of pee and other fluids. Yeah, but-

Magic Darth's bathroom, it was- Oh my God, you're right. It looked like his jet bathroom. It was a mess. Allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly. He nasty as hell.

He nasty as hell. Yeah. Yeah, but I would, I think it comes from like, maybe my mom always put toilet skirts on, you know, those skirts you buy for the toilet. Yes. So I grew up accustomed to putting my feet on warm things. I don't, I can't shit cold. I hate it.

Yeah, no one wants to shit cold. No. It's not, yeah, it's not the idea. I mean, also, if you go into, if you're somewhere that doesn't have great insulation and it's winter and you go to the bathroom and it's cold, that whole experience sucks. Misery. Misery. You don't even want to, you need a shower, but you're like, I don't want to get in the

shower because I'm fucking freezing again. I know. Can you imagine being in the olden days when they had outhouses? Oh my God. Which wasn't that long ago. It's not that long. Well, actually it's like, it means it was a minute ago. I know.

Yeah. Like my dad's generation had outhouses in Hungary and my mom, my stepmom grew up going to an outhouse. Crazy. Yeah. And she had the outhouse until you had to, in the middle of winter. I had to shit. Okay.

Go take a walk. In the freezing fucking snow. I would just shit into a bowl and throw it out the window. I wouldn't even go outside. Would you even go outside? Yes. No. Yes.

I would you animal. I wouldn't go to the shit house. Put shit into a bowl and then throw it outside. Any of you with me? Would you go out into the cold? Into the outhouse? Of course I would. Why would I not?

No. I feel like any I thought for sure you'd be on my team like this. Because I'm crazy as fuck now. Yeah. You don't even get me on this one. Come on. No. Unnormal today.

Unnormal today. Yeah. What would you do? You would go in the freezing cold. Yes. No, I would go. I would go out. And just wear a jacket and shit in the outhouse.

But what about peachy? You're going to be alone on the shit in a bowl and throw it outside for sure. What about peepee? Peepee as a guy, it's easy. Pee in the sink. Yeah. No? I meant just like.

Why would pee in the sink? No. That's not what I meant. That's not what I meant. I meant just not go all the way to the outhouse. You just open the door, turn to the right, take a leak. Then you piss in the snow and there's the pile of yellow snow. All the way out there for that.

Did you know, by the way, so our youngest son, I would not. I would just pee into a bowl and throw it out the window. That's how the plague started in London. Is it people would just throw their pee and poo out the windows and their trash and then that plague started. That's how plague starts. Did you know my, our four year old son is obsessed with street drains. You know the little ditches where all like the water goes down.

Yeah. So he made me research it with him. We watched videos on where the washes go or the sewer go. Did you know that anything that goes down that wash in the street goes straight to like lakes and your local water bodies straight in. So it's meant to be just a rain drain. Oh, but anything that goes in there. So like anything like motor oil, if you wash your car and that soap goes in there goes

into your fucking water source. It's horrible. Luckily, I mean, yeah, that is, but also that water amount of water is so, it's so great that, you know, little bits of that, like, unless talking about crazy amounts are not really going to affect it. You know, I hope not. I mean, I imagine that's why they haven't changed that whole system because I'm like, why not change the stupid system where it goes directly into the water supply?

Sometimes, you know what, you bring up a good point. Sometimes you just need a new system to deal with something. Drivers who've experienced trauma are being encouraged to let others know when they're ready to return to the roads. The R plates initiative will signify to other motorists the person behind the wheel may need a little extra care. They have R plates. When you start to drive, you get your L's.

Then you graduate to your P's. But what about these? An R for return. These plastic plates are way to let the world know. You need some extra room and love and attention after experiencing a traumatic incident. I like to be mindful this kind needs a bit of extra care. Ta ta, they're returned. You think they could have thought of a different word.

Return. The R plates. A bunch of R's driving around out there. G is an R. G's a big R. G's on the spectrum too. That's crazy and awe. Maybe like, I don't know, return driver, an R driver, a T driver, traumatized driver.

An R driver. Also, is that really going to work? Shit, man. I think people would fuck with people that have R's. Well, the worst of people would. People who like to fuck with people would be like, oh, look, there's a sensitive, traumatized person. Absolutely. You never fucked with those new drivers.

You know, when they had the student drivers, I used to fuck with them. You did? When I was younger. You never fucking pulled up next to them. I'm like, stupid. Not even as a teenager? No. I swear to you.

Did you even have fun in your life? So much. But I never did that. I think you would really actually harass an R. I wouldn't do it now. You would see an R and be like, I'm going to be a real B to this R. You would. Yeah.

You wouldn't just LOL it though? Wow. I guess you guys are better than me. What? You guys never made fun of new drivers? No. Not like that. Well, what did you do?

You were just like, oh, there's a new driver. I'm going to keep my distance because they probably don't know how to drive. Oh, stop. You were always super mature. Never in your early 20s where you were like, let's go fuck with the new drivers. Oh. Why do I share on this podcast? I'm just trying to be honest and open.

What? I'm being honest. You guys never did anything little mean, spirited for fun? Oh, God. Stop it. What are you talking about? You never made fun of people.

I can't believe you guys didn't make fun of student drivers. That's the funniest shit in the world. People did it to me when I was learning to drive. They'd drive by and be like, oh, you know. Did it feel good? Well, it's time to get back. That's why you get back. I thought that was the hazing thing where someone hazes you

and then you haze the freshman. I don't know. That's what they did in LA. What? I grew up in the valley. I did too. Main streets. Yeah, but you're a millennial.

Things were softer for you. Gen Xer, man. Pussies. It's not my fault you guys are fucking baby pussies. Go cry. Okay. You and your fucking gay feelings. Put our stickers on their fucking cars.

Pussies. It's not my fault. You know what you sound like right now? You sound like the guy that asked the girl out and she said, I'm okay. And then you're like, you fucking bitch. You're ugly, you know that? Fucking stupid bitch.

I'm totally not good. Yeah, you are. Look, I never said I didn't have mental problems. I know, you didn't. You definitely did not say that. I got problems, man. Let's check this out. I can't believe you guys are fucking nervous.

It's been a few weeks. Yeah. But we tried to get in touch with somebody. Yes. Hey, Instagram. I brand new. Never freaking been on ever before. And this is me driving home.

You're in the Mesa. Okay. So, she has this fund raising page. She's trying to raise money. Actually for her teeth of all things. And she wants to fix them. Great. And so we're trying to get in touch with somebody.

Yes. Hey, Instagram. And so we had a call set up with her. Back and forth exchange. We're going to call at this time. I remember. And then we called when we said we would call. I think we were five minutes late, maybe.

Something like that. And you're not going to believe it. She never answered. No. They called like five times. It was on the show. So anyway, now we're going to try again. Let's see if we can get them.

It's Kristen or Kirsten. Kirsten. I'll try that first one. Oh, shit. I want to hear the story, you know. I don't know what's going on. There's so much going on in that clip. Why is she in the Mesa?

What is she driving? What's in her bra strap? Like... Don't tell me we're getting stood up again. Well... You gotta be kidding me. Fool me once, Kirsten. No.

I can't believe she's not reliable. Move that. No. That didn't go out. Luckily for us, she has two numbers. This is her boyfriend, remember? Yeah, let's see if... Let's see if Rick picks up.

I think it was Steve. All right. What a shocker. I can't believe a toothless woman driving in the desert isn't reliable. Hi, you've reached Kirsten. Stop. You've given me a message and I...

Twice. How disappointing. It is. I just wanted to... I wanted to get the story, you know? And also, you know... I mean, I was gonna offer to help out, obviously. Obviously?

Well, that's too bad. She just missed out on her golden ticket. You could have been her golden ticket. No, we could... I mean, we'll see. We could still follow up. We'll try to follow up. I mean, we could start a fun to get your face not so red. What? It makes like a skin grafting fun.

It's so red. I bet Kirsten wouldn't talk to me like that. Babe, it's really red. I already know. Does it feel hot? No, it feels good. How are you sleeping on your pillow at night? Can you lay on your side?

No. I'm gonna check with your eyes open. Let's see about that. Hey, how's my snoring been? So bad. Really? Last night, it occurred to me to... I was like, I should just record.

And I didn't. I was trying to fall. I was tired. God! What is going on? I think... I don't know. It is unlike I've ever heard before. Really? Ripping.

But do you want to hear your thing? You've been purring. Not even ripping anymore. It's weight loss. Yes. Because face meat pushes on throat meat and closes off your air passage. And then if you lose weight, it stops.

There's no face meat pushing on throat meat. There's still some, obviously. But then why am I ripping? Because I'm losing face meat and throat meat. I don't know. So I'm purring? It's so cute. What do I sound like?

But you used to go... Like, loud. That's what you sound like? No. It sounds like three guys are on a truck stop or napping. I'm serious. It's wild. I tried to let it go.

I had to wake you up. Last night, I woke you up three times. You did? Yes. I couldn't even... As long as I fall asleep, maybe I'll be all right. I couldn't fall asleep. You were just like... I didn't even hear...

I didn't feel you wake me up, babe. Did I say something back to you? I was really out. The first time, you were like, hi. I was like... Second time, you were like, what? I go, you are snoring so loud. And you just turned and then you snored again.

You get so mad at me. I didn't get mad at you. You didn't want to kill me in that moment? Be honest. You didn't want to strangle me. No. See, I get enraged when you snore. I feel like you're doing it on purpose to make me upset. But that's not true with you.

How many deep psychological issues are we revealing today with you? What is going on with you? I'm just being honest. That's how I really feel about stuff. You think when I snore... See, this is why I don't share. This is why I've been afraid of my whole life,

because how I think is not normal. Oh, that's for sure. I know. I just thought I had an ally. Do you think when somebody snores, they're purposely snoring? No. I don't say I think you're doing it. I feel like the feeling is

why are you trying to torture me? Yes, I get angry at you. No, I see what you mean. If you're going to cough. If you're going to cough, leave the room. What's annoying is when it's the last night, the second and third time are annoying,

because you want it to stop and you're like, it's continuing. I don't know. I was just like, yeah, I was like, God damn it. Should we try that mouth tape? Yes. Can you buy some? I don't know for me. You can have some of it.

It'll help. But what if somebody breaks in and I have to scream for you? It comes off easily. It's okay. You'll be all right. I'll be so scared. No, you'll be fine. Even if it doesn't come off,

it was meant to be. You just got to go with it. That's not nice. Don't jinx me like that. So, I'm going to video this. I already smell it. I already smelled it before I got to it. My garbage can has

shrimp. I'm going to fucking have to take this out. You know, I don't like... Shrimp Peelies. Shrimp Peelies. Shrimp Peelies. Shrimp Peelies. It's Easter.

I got you. Oh my God. My wife like... I can't even get it to the... to the road. It's so bad. That was bad. That was bad.

It's good. It's... I'm trying. It's over. It's so rough. You know what? It's over. Now you're going to play the drop of him vomiting.

He doesn't vomit. Whatever it is. You've got a drop prepared. The minute I put this in, you're going to go... You're going to repeat it. Don't lie to me, Tom. You already lied to me and you swore in my children's eyes a while back and then you lied.

Remember? Remember the story? Who saw your dick? The housekeeper. You're lying to me. Stop. Don't fucking do it. Don't play it.

You're going to fucking... I wouldn't do that. Lies. You really don't want to hear it? No. Play the drop and then I'll put my earbuds in. Okay. It's over.

It's over. Don't do it. Let me be real fucking mad at you. I won't touch your peanut tonight if you do it. I won't touch your peanut. I won't touch it. Alright. Don't do it.

I swear to God I won't touch it. I won't touch it. I heard you. I won't lick it and I won't touch it. I heard you. Put it in, man. You're going to zing me in. I'm not going to zing you.

You're so evil. Don't fucking do it. Okay. Yeah. Oh, fuck. Fuck what? I'm looking for this thing. It's not called it here. Do we have TikToks?

Do we have a TikTok folder? You can't touch this. Hey. You can't touch this. Hey. MC Hammer said it best when he said you can't touch this. You call me.

But I called you back. You want to play reach out and touch somebody? Let's play reach out and touch somebody. You can't touch this. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I don't understand what at the point. I don't understand what's going on either. I tried to find this.

I remember that this guy kind of went viral a few months ago. Everybody was like, who the fuck is this? I've never seen a human being look like this. And he made a video and there were kids in the back seat that they were like... Clearly his kids

or step kids or something. He actually has a very interesting look. You don't see it that often. I'm not even talking about the looks. I'm just talking about the thread of logic here. You can't touch this. You want to reach out and touch somebody?

I think it's his version of snapping back at trolls and haters. That's what I think is going on. You called me and then I called you back. I think it's talking shit. People are like fucking with him, insulting him.

And then he's like, I guess what? Can you touch this? Because that'd be a way to deflect. You can't get to me. You can't touch this. It's very clever. It was above my head.

It's high level stuff. You gotta think like me to get it. Gotcha. It is very cool. You can't touch this. It's a good song to reference. It's an old song. It's a song to reference from 87, 88.

It's very good. That's what you want to do. Especially on a TikTok medium. That's where he's on. Those kids know that. You can't touch this. I was watching Ace Ventura the other day with our children's. That's who's in that movie

with a nice little cameo. Who? That's right. He's a really good actor. Did the tone look die? Am I wrong? That song blew my mind. He was great.

No, he's still alive. I'm sorry, tone look. He was a good actor. He did a great job. I know I'm not thinking of Coolio. I was thinking of somebody from a few years ago that died. But there's a lot of people. But I'm glad.

You're right. He is in that. Dan Marino's in that. Laces out. It's such a silly, funny movie. I love that movie. Our kids loved it too. Yeah, they did. Did they? Well, he's like a human cartoon.

Oh, the whole time. Alrighty then. I can see Alice loving that. Oh my God, they loved it. Jim carried that entire movie. Jim carried every scene. They gave him 300 grand for that. They gave him the script.

He agreed to do it. But only if he could rewrite a bunch of scenes. God, he did such a great job. So silly, so fun. You know snowflake. Does he call you at home? That's so good. Do you have a dorsal fin?

He's such an interesting dude. Really? I think he's very against Hollywood, right? I just saw the interview. He seems really in touch with spiritual, you know, awareness. Yeah, he had that interview recently

where he was like, oh, I just realized that I am, everyone wonders if they're enough. He's like, I am enough. It's like a very profound place to be in. Statement for somebody that's so iconic. Like, you know, I don't need to be

more than what I am. It was essentially what he said in this interview. I've done enough. There it is. I have enough, I've done enough. There you go. That's a strong statement. That and when he talked with his butt to tone low.

I love that. Both of those moments. I'm talking to his butt and I've done enough and I haven't. Do you have a breath mint? Good stuff. I mean, who talked with their ass before Jim Carrey? That's great.

And I mean this in all sincerity, I'm not knocking him. No, he's fucking brilliant. He's a brilliant guy. I remember too, you'd watch in Living Color and it was just like, it was such a great show and it's so many fucking killers. And then Jim Carrey was the stand-alone

white guy. He was just a murderer. He goes, your ovaries will shrink to the size of raisins. I mean, I still remember this shit. Fire Marshal Bill? Let me tell you something. Yeah, it's so great.

Oh gosh, what a talent. This is back when you could really talk some shit too on television. Look at that cast too. I know, the Wayans are just... Oh my god. King Ivory, Tommy Davidson, Dag, Dag, so funny.

They all are killers. I tried to get in touch with him. Which one, Dag? Yeah? So I reached out to somebody who knows him. And I was like, hey, I'm trying to do this thing. Can you reach out to him? And then he sent me a screen grab.

Oh, it's conversation with David Allen Greer. He was like, Thomas the girl wants to get in touch with you. And David Allen Greer wrote back, what's he want? He's like, he's got this thing. And then he was like, not responding. Wow. I love him.

You know what Dag said to me one time? I worked on it. So I got to open for him in Indianapolis many years ago. He's lovely. He's so funny. And then I got to work on a TBS show with him. And anyway, the day we finished shooting with him, he was leaving the stage

and he goes, all right, Christina, stay black. And I was like, that's the fucking funniest thing to say to a white girl. He told me to stay black. I believe he's like Yale drama. So that dude can, he's classically trained as an actor.

He also can sing. Oh, yes. And his comedic chops are... Bananas. Well, in his stand-up, I remember he was incorporating all of that. He really is, as far as a talent, as far as I'm underrated.

This guy is like a really, really talented guy. He's one of those total package. He can do it all. Same with Jamie Foxx. Jamie Foxx is like... What a ridiculous group of people. Jamie Foxx is unfairly talented though.

He can do everything. It is fucked up. It's so upsetting that he can do drama, stand-up, play the piano like a virtuoso, sing. He actually can really sing. Do this silly... What was that character? Was it Wanda?

Yeah. This was so funny, dude. Yeah. He's playing Tyson in the new Tyson biopic. I'm sure he's just... He nails every impression too. His impressions are so insanely good. Yeah, he wins.

This whole cast, dude, they just fucking win. Yeah. Look at that shit, dude. Yeah, he's on it. He's super gifted. So upsetting. Yeah, the first time you see him play piano he just goes, well, I'm sure this is what he's the best

at doing. You know the fact that you can also do the other things. You're like, get the fuck out of here, man. I know. It's so unfair. I feel like stand-ups... There's people that are great actors but then maybe they're not great stand-ups. Yeah.

But to be everything is just... And if you can do stand-up and really actually act, right there you're already... And you add music to that too. It's fucking crazy. He would do his stand-up. If you ever see him do stand-up specials, he'd do stand-up and then there's a piano out there

and then he just starts jamming on the piano. Jamming on the one. You know, did that too. My hero, Phyllis Diller. Phyllis Diller? She was also a pianist and she would actually play in symphonies without using her name. She would just show up and play with... Play the piano just because she loved it so much.

Yeah. She was multi-talented too. Look at her. They say a lot of comedians are musical, mostly jazz, because it's a timing thing. That makes sense. I actually listen to jazz music when I write jokes. I have to listen to Vince Guaraldi. Do you really?

Yeah. The last few years, just to get my unconscious mind in that rhythm. Mm-hmm. Or the Beastie Boys. What do you listen to? I like something that's more instrumental for writing. Dark, like your Sicario.

I love dark stuff. That's what you write jokes to? Well, the darker the better. Usually like musical scores or classical music. But I can't write if I'm hearing lyrics. Yeah, it's tough. It takes me out of it too much. Mm-hmm.

For those of you offended or hurt by what and how I say things, consider this. Do you know why people kill each other? Huh. They're gonna handle their minds.

Oh. Go ahead. That's it? That's it. Why didn't he turn the water off to record this? I don't know. But he seems like a really intense dude. Yes. He looks like the techno viking a little bit. Yeah.

You know, he's got those like harsh... I believe he's capable of ending someone's life. Oh, most definitely. He's done it. Yeah. Everything's aggressive. But who does he look like? Which cool guy does he look like? Does he look like a cool guy?

Uncle Terry? Look at Uncle Terry and then look at him. You don't see Uncle's Harry there? No. Oh, I do. He's putting a dildo up his ass right now. Jesus Christ, really? Yeah. He's really upset.

People are making fun of his accent or what? I don't know what he's upset about, but he's doing it like a message. I like that he's basically... People kill each other. I handle the minds. He's right. He's very intense.

I like that intensity. I want to watch from a distance though. Preferably binoculars or something like that. I don't want to be that close. But I'd like to see his whereabouts, what he does, how he operates. Where he gets his meals. Yes. Every day.

Every day of his life. He's European though, yeah? Sounds like it. We really should dig deeper into this. I know. I'm like, what does he do for a living? I'm going to go with like, he works in some kind of a warehouse behind... This was actually sent to me by a friend.

They're like, check this fucking guy out. So this is somebody we know, like in real life. Yeah, I'm going to guess he works in a warehouse where he doesn't have to deal with the public much. I could see a warehouse. Yes. I'm going to go with like... He's really good at shipping labels

and taping up boxes. He does it... Yes. Because he's lean. So he's like, he's up and around. He's not a sit down kind of guy. And I see him wearing a uniform, like a brown uniform or something like that. Could be.

Yeah, and he talks shit. Everyone's afraid of him in the warehouse. People are like, don't mess with Randy. He does not like it when you talk to him when his name is. Yeah. I think this is more like a Gustav or something like that. Yeah, this guy's got intense vibes.

Super intense. I respect the shit out of it. Yeah. This dude also, it's like... I feel like he barely eats. Yeah, I was going to say that. Or he's like on a weird, all raw diet. Yeah, something like that.

But he shows up with like his meal, you know, wrapped up and doesn't like to put it in the fridge because other people put their shit in the fridge and he's like, I don't want that. And he's got a particular diet. And then someone in the office is like, hey, you barely eat, you know that?

And he's like, this is why you are fat. And they're like... Do you remember this Hungarian guy and my parents were friends? I know exactly what you're talking about. Say it. I thought about it the other day and he wasn't wrong. He was like, I think I said something

and he's like, do what I do. I eat one apple a day and I was like, and then what? He was like, that's it. One apple every day. That's all I eat. That's all you need. And I was like, one apple a day. That's all I ate.

And he had like a small waist. Yeah. He was lean. He was like 60. And he was like, this is all you need to do. You eat too much. You eat cigarettes and shit too. So, you know.

But I thought about that. I was so waiting for the rest of the meal plan. Oh no, dog. Just one apple. Apple. That's it, homie. There is this one guy I saw on Tik Tok. He's like, you Americans are too fat. He was like an African guy.

He's like, you're too fat. You know why? He's like, you haven't even taken a shit yet and you're filling your body with more food. And you're eating again. I'm like, oh my god, this guy is so fucking fat. He gets it. That's exactly what I was doing.

He gets it. Quick pee break. You changed. I'm freezing. Why are you freezing? It's the middle of winter here. Winter time. Man, it's been so long since we've done a proper Tik Tok. It has been a hot minute.

It has been. Have you missed them? You continue to curate. You just not having your work displayed. Is that what it feels like? Yes, I mean, I've been doing the work. No one's looking at me. And I'd like to be rewarded.

I'm fucking stoked to share these with you guys. Let's go. Let's get into it. You ready? Station. It's a good old fashioned. Oh, wowzers. So it starts off with this woman on the bus or in the train. And she's she's got her foot is a shoe dangling off the bare foot.

And then she's she touches the bare foot, gives it a whiff. Goes the fingers a whiff, goes back in for an intensive rub. And then takes a piece of skin and peels off a chunk of skin and puts it on her mouth. And right away, your mind goes to the fact that you know that she's been doing this for like 40 years. That's her thing. For sure. Yeah, she started this as a kid. She digs it.

Bless you. Bless you. That's wild. Right. I never heard of people eating their foot skin. Oh my God. I've never even heard of such a thing. And now you've seen it.

Yes. Yeah. I mean, I thought the finger whiff was bad enough. I mean, I've chewed on finger skin for years. Yeah, that's delectable. It's a tough habit to break. I've done pretty well. I love chewing finger skin.

Yeah, but foot skin is a fucking other level. That's different because it's sweaty. It's crammed into that shoe. I mean, it's also you're peeling dead skin off of your foot and eating it. Right. Well, and here's the thing. When you're biting your finger meats, it's really, it's like you're not doing it for the chew after.

Yeah. For that. I'm doing it for like, I bite it off. I might give it one and then like out. It's a nervous tick. I mean, this is clearly, she's reading as that's the thing is that she's actually distracted. So she does it. You can tell it's like her nervous thing that she probably has done.

I think probably since she was a kid. Yeah. It's fucking rough. Yeah, her unconscious. It's rough to eat it. To eat it. She's eating it. Yeah.

The finger whiff ain't so bad. You're like, well, who's that? Is that first thing a whiff? I thought that was a bite too. Oh, I thought it was a whiff. Let's go back. Look, peel, eat. Now she's eating.

Holy shit. She's eating that from the beginning. Dude, this whole thing just changed for me. What happens there is that when she goes back, she's going for a bigger piece. She peels that piece off. Wow. This just changed everything. You think it was just a, oh, you thought it was just a smell at first.

Well, I thought it was she gave her whiff. Everybody gives things a whiff. Yeah. And that's why I was like, okay. You just stick that thumb right there in the crease, right by your balls and you go, nope. Of course. Look at him nodding because there's one honest guy in the booth.

I see. And he's usually with us. Everybody smells. Everybody takes a whiff. You've got to take a whiff for your bits. You don't whiff your stuff ever? You've got to whiff your stuff. Ever?

Not my sweaty balls. Yes, you should. That's the best place to whiff. That's the best time. Yeah. Because I know it's always going to be like, yep, that smells gross. Like it's never going to be like. But you never smell gross stuff?

Yeah, but you mean it. No, no, no. Like there is, sometimes I have, like the only thing on my body that I do smell that's like, oh, that's fucking disgusting. And I know it is. It's like when I clean out my belly button. I love that. I'll smell that.

I'm like, Jesus. Interesting. Because I don't smell that. Really? I don't smell that. If I've, if I've not worn deodorant, I'll go like that and I'll smell and I'll be like, Jesus. But that's like a check.

You got to do that. That's a check. But you're also kind of like seeing what the status is. You're like, that's fucking, you know, there's days where you're like that. I really need to get in the shower. Yes. But anything that like, if, if I left a shirt that I had sweated in, I'll see it. Yeah.

And I'll be like, oh, that's bad. You know? I enjoy it. I like to verify. There's a little bit of like, you know, because you're like, this is crazy that this is bad. But most, most above all is balls. That's what I, you know, that's your jam. I always go like, yeah, really get in there.

Yeah. Yeah. But I'm glad you do because you're, you're whiff testing and then it benefits me because I'm sure if it's really bad, then you're not going to bring those balls into my area and my face. Because I'm never like, whiffed them real bad. But again, but to, to eat the foot skin, I didn't realize because I thought this, this was ramping up to eating it, but you're telling me she opens on a foot skin peel.

Yeah. She scratches and peels. This is totally different story. She's literally doing the, you know, this like, but on her, on her foot. On her foot. Yeah. I wouldn't make that skin. It needs to be made that this everybody sees.

So that's gross. Cause I see your damaged paws. Right? Yeah. No one's seeing the butt, but it just, it's fucking, it's intense. I just think the foot skin, like again, like she's wearing like ballet flats. I think her kitten heels without any kind of sock or anything. Like those are generally, that's how bacteria breathe.

Yeah. It's a smelly place. It's, it's, it's worn out. Yeah. It's not clean. Like your fingers, your digits aren't smelly. No. So like this is different.

Not unless you just rubbed your balls. That's a twofer. Do you ever do that where you've forgotten that you've whiffed? Oh, sure. And then you go, Oh God. Yeah. And you smell your ball. Are you eat your balls?

30 years of that. Yeah. But I do want to see what smells. Yeah. I love seeing what smells. Yeah. It's fun. It's a fun game, especially because you, like I can't believe that I make those smells.

Yeah. You're like, how is this happening? Yeah. It's so gross. We're so disgusting. Yeah. Yeah. Well, this is a fun.

Okay. Next one. Here we go. I'm not even going to dignify that. Fuck. Isn't that cool? This is just a double-jointed guy in underdeveloped country. And he's doing some tricks with his shoulders and his arms.

I don't like it at all. I hate it. He's completely emaciated too. It's very disturbing. I know. I hate how skinny he is. And moving on. Yeah.

Wipe your ass, niggers. Stop wiping your ass with toilet tissue. If you take a shit, you wipe until the brown is gone. And yes, you also need to put your index finger, your middle finger up and around your bum hole a little bit, nigger. Yeah. You need to go, not all up, no freaky shit, but you need to make sure you clean out to where you don't want no fucking dingleberries, man.

And you cannot wipe yourself clean enough with toilet tissue. I miss him. Rip Kevin's annuals. Yeah. Even from the grave, this is a very powerful message. You really do. You really do. He's gone.

No. And it's so funny that he's concerned with it being homosexual. It's like you're cleaning. Of course. Well, no offense, but he knows his audience. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

You have to stick your, you have to go a little, you just have to like. You just kind of clean the area well. Put pressure around your asshole. Yeah. Yeah. And also it's not all going to be like, you know, some of it's going to be somewhere else sometimes. So you got to clean the area.

Yeah. I mean. And you're definitely not getting it all with just dry paper. No. I mean, I can't even imagine now shitting without the toto. No. Or there is nothing as, nothing as good as wet wipes too. They're so great.

You know, I haven't, again, I'm afraid of. I started buying them on the road. So you use them in the hotel. Oh yeah. Man, I got to get on this. Well, because they sell them at the airport. I know. Like kiosks.

I had this revelation. They sell them in thin packs because it's the air. They don't sell them. Yeah. Like a pack of 16 and you just throw it in your bag. And then if you're in a hotel, you have wet wipes. It's fucking. Dude, I just, okay.

So I forgot about this revelation and where my mom's at. I was saying how I take these horrendous airport shits in the morning and then I wipe with their fucking dumb one-ply. And it's like the never ending wipe when I could just go buy some wet wipes at the Hudson News and then I could just wipe my ass with those. Yeah, you could. But I'm fucking, I'm R. I'm a returning driver and I forget.

We're going to put an R plate on your car. Jesus Christ. You don't do the morning shits that are horrendous. Hey there, internet. This is a fart that I bagged back in 2016. Jesus Christ. And I'm going to go ahead and give it a whiff. So good.

That's pretty cool. That was the best TikTok ever. I think you sent this to me. Yeah, yeah. I mean, where has this been all our lives? I don't know. Does he do nothing but this? Did you do a dive on him?

No, I think it was just sent in like this was the front half of the of the batch that's all over. But if, I know, but if you, if you pick his TikTok, does that, you know, whatever it says. Dusty loves food. Let's go see if he's got other farts that he's vintage. I mean, that is crazy. That was rad. A six year old fart.

Yeah. He really took care of fart 2016 is all it said. There's more. Yeah, but I don't know what else. Oh man. What's this guy doing? Dude, there should be a guy who just keeps his farts and sniffs them. You're a pickle living in my world.

The next one. Go to the next one. What's this? Oh man. Oh, it's Vienna sausage can juice. He's going to drink it. I'm going to puke. This is not okay.

I don't like this at all. Dude, bro. Homie. You know what he is doing though? He is filling the void of King gas ripper. Kind of. Yeah. I mean, this guy's got ass, ass rip vibes.

Hot dog water, dude. Hot dog water. No. Two out of 10. Two out of 10. Okay. Go back to his main page, like the whole grid there. Oh, this guy's great.

Yeah, the fart. That's the one there. I think he's only got that one fart. That's pretty crazy. Dude, that got 6.2 million views. It sure did. He really needs to start doing more of these vintage fart vids. Yeah.

Poof. God, I was like, where is this TikTok been my whole life? I feel like you should start doing that. I bet you you could sell your farts to people. You think so? I think you're famous enough that people will buy your farts. I don't know if I'm going to get into that. Dude, is that a business yet?

Can I sell farts? You can definitely, yeah. But is it legal to send a fart through the mail? I'm sure. Isn't there some kind of thing against... Chad? Yes? Is it illegal to mail a fart to somebody?

I can't say a reason why it would be. I mean, maybe it'd be fraud because it would dissipate by the time it got there. Not necessarily. I think you use a fart into a glass jar. A jar. Yeah. But that Ziploc bag maintains... But that's going to pop.

That's why you do it in the jar. Seal the jar. Money on the table. There sure is. Before I engage romantically with a man, even before I even start flirting, I need utter clarity on his status and availability. So here are the four questions that I ask. Four questions, Sophia Chang.

Why not just one? Well, you would think that just one question would suffice, namely, are you single? But I have long since learned that most men are profoundly gifted. I mean Cirque du Soleil, Beijing opera-level gifted at using all sorts of mental and moral gymnastics, acrobatics, and contortionism to twist their logic into this pretzel that essentially justifies bad behavior. Here's an example. I could ask a man, are you single?

And in his mind, he thinks, hmm, I have a long-term serious partner, but we're not married. So technically and legally, I'm single. And be like, yeah, I'm single. You know that shit happens. So here are the four questions. Number one, do you have a girlfriend? Number two, do you have a wife? Number three, do you have a pregnant ex?

Because yeah, that came back on me twice after they'd already answered no to questions one and two. And number four, and here's the most salient. Is there someone out there who thinks she's your girlfriend or your wife? Yeah. She's been through some shit. I love Sophia Chang. And I am the clarifyingist.

And do diligent as bitch in the room. Isn't she great? Yeah. What is she? Is she known? Sophia Chang. I don't know if she's known, but I've just been following her because she is like a dating. She dates in the world.

Okay. She gives you tips on how to... I mean... Oh, she's an author. I didn't know this about her. Yeah, yeah. So she is... I just love her.

A music business. She worked with Paul Simon. And... Oh, she managed ODB, Rizad Jizak. She tips. No shit. All right. So she's like...

Well, I knew this bitch was special. Listen, I can spot talent. I do. Much like Staffy Baby. Yeah. So, Sophia Chang, she's going places. I knew it. Yeah.

I just knew she had charisma. I'm like, look at this bitch. What are you guys laughing at? You. What did you say? You were like, she's going places. I know, I'm joking. But look, look, she's already been there.

That's what I was. That was the joke, you shit-dicks. Sorry, sorry. Fucking dumbass. That part was the joke that you should have gotten. Yeah. Stupid idiot. So she wrote a book, though.

The Baddest Bitch in the Room. Love you. A memoir. She is the baddest bitch in the room, man. Look at her. I just liked her whole vibe. I thought that was really funny how she says that men find ways to lie. You know, it's human nature.

Yeah. They want what they want. Are you Tom? Are you single? No. Link, no. Are you in a relationship? It's okay.

Okay, here we go. I know we all love you with that red face. Good luck. I'll tell you one thing, for sure, she's single. She's single. She's definitely single. That looks like Korea. I think it's Korea.

Could be, but she's definitely single. She's definitely single. Yeah. She's doing stuff. Horrifying. Horrible. Yeah. I hated that so much.

I couldn't enjoy it more. God. Why do you hate this? I don't like it. People hurting themselves. I just, I don't like it. It's into the puddles. I don't like it at all.

It's just, it's upsetting. I feel like go fucking change now. You got a whole fucking, your clothes is ruined. It's disgusting. Yeah. Like somebody getting hit by a car. I mean, hit by a car is a beautiful thing. Okay.

But she's doing, she's got a talent. She can do somersaults on pavement, on wet pavement. Yeah. You can't do this at her age too. Yeah. This is not good. She's, she's not even hurt. Yeah, she reminds me.

Bobby Lee. Oh. What? They do have a similar body type and hair. I was thinking the sunshine. Sunshine? The one woman who would steal you away from me. Yeah.

Who tried to. She did it. Sunshine at the smog cutter. Yeah. You and I first started dating and we went to this karaoke bar called the smog cutter. Right? That karaoke bag. Yeah.

And sunshine, the woman who ran it was smitten with Tom. Smitten. It's like 20 years older than me at least. Yes. And you were just a young 23 year old pup. Yeah. And she would just lay it on, think like, oh, Tom, come over. I'll make soup for you.

Well, one time she had food there that she had made. Yeah. And I was just being like, I was like, damn, you know, smells good sunshine. And she was like, I make for you sometime. And I was like, okay. And she did. She did. Wait, did you go to her house and she cooked for you?

What am I going to say? I don't want beef stew. Babe. Babe. What? Did you bang sunshine? So long ago. Babe.

We were together then. You fucked sunshine? She was so old. It was terrible. She's like my age now. Terrible. Yuck. Y'all haven't done this in a long time.

So let's see what I get. Yeah. Okay. I hate his noises. He's climbing the rope in the trees. Pretty impressive actually. It's very impressive. You didn't laugh?

How are you not LOLing? He's okay. Holy shit, bro. How did he just get out? That was wild. He should have been paralyzed. I mean, he should have broken legs. See it again.

That is crazy. Let's watch it again. That was crazy. How does he fall that he's not? I mean, he fell fucking like 20 something. That is one of those. If he does that, you know, if you put that up like 100 times. Yeah.

99 times something is fucking destroyed on that guy. It's got to be. And this is like that, oh my God. Maybe he stood up and he's in shock and he's actually. It could be. He did break a vertebrae. You know how that goes. I mean, he is dude.

He's so hard. That's like 20. That's over 20 feet, I think. Maybe 20. Yes. Oh yeah. At least 16 feet up. Fuck dude.

All right. No. Now he's hitting. Yeah. I think we're talking up close to 20 feet. I mean, the advantage he has is that his knees are fully bent. And so they pick like that absorption, then his butt hits. So maybe it's just like the combination of exactly how his body.

How he like fell on his toes. Yeah. He didn't like try to land. But he had to have hurt his tailbone. Something hurts. Yeah. He's, he hurt himself. He just doesn't, he doesn't know yet the extent.

I mean, he can't just walk away from that. Okay. Let's see the fall. Oh fuck. Yeah. So his legs are, you're right. His knees are bent. See how like, if he had tried to like stand.

Yep. You know, if his legs were straight, but see how his knees bend and then his butt hits the ground. He falls on his ass. Now I thought we were going to see two broken limbs. And then he gets up. That is so crazy. He's in shock.

Yeah. It's gnarly. God. Fuck. That is wild. He has to have hurt his lower back. Something hurts. Yeah.

Something hurts way more the next day too. Here's how men communicate with each other. Hey man. You want to go out to the restaurant? Yeah. What time? 7.30. Okay.

I'll see you there. That's how men communicate with each other. Here's how women communicate with each other. What do you want to do later? I'm not sure. The conversation goes fucking everywhere. This type of conversation is very natural and normal for them. When I say men and women, a better description would honestly be masculine energy and feminine

energy. Because there's a lot of women who can have masculine energy and a lot of men who can have feminine energy. Feminine energy is very flowy. Masculine energy is very directed. When you go and you're talking to girls and you want a vibe or chemistry with the girl, when a girl is like we have a vibe or we have chemistry, what she's really saying is when I talk with him, it feels like this and it feels natural and normal.

So being able to do both of these things I think is really important for a guy. I thought this would be really helpful for men listening to this program. Yeah. Because when you talk to girls, don't talk to them like they're guys. Yeah. Don't talk to them all linear and fucking boring dude. Yeah. Being circuitous, fun, allow yourself to be creative or silly and that's what's going

to get you laid. That's what will get your dick touched is when she feels a vibe and connection is because yeah. Yeah. It's like it's frivolous, fun, chatty talk. Do you want to smell it? How about smell? Smell it.

No, because you got a lot to say about these things. So smell. How about stink? Do smell bad? Real bad. He's been on the talk for a while and he smells his own pits and he licks the stuff on his arms, the skin tags and stuff. It's his whole thing.

It's his whole thing. His whole thing is I'm gross and I'll show you how gross I am. Yeah. That was so gross. I know. We all talked about how we do our own. So I get it, but it's fucking to see it. That was fucking gnarly.

He's gnarly as shit. He's gnarly. And also to smell someone else's is not the fun. The fun is your own. That's true. Would you date a trans person? No. Honestly?

Think about it for a second. No. Okay? Got your answer? No. I didn't need a second. Thank you. If you said no, I'm sorry, but that's pretty discriminatory.

I'm done. Where you going? There's no discrimination where I said. I wouldn't date that person that has a penis. How agree with that? They were like, no. But if we didn't, no. Well, does it bring up an important question?

I mean, why aren't you allowed to discriminate against what you're physically visceral? Of course you're allowed to and it shouldn't be considered discrimination. No. You know, discrimination is like you're not allowed into this store. Yeah. You know, you're not allowed to do things that everybody, but I'm, I don't want to date you. There's not discrimination. Yeah.

It's just selective. You don't, that's not your thing. You're attracted to what you're attracted to. Yeah. That's crazy. You can't reason your way out of it. You don't want a woman with a shaved head, then you're discriminating. It's like, what?

I'm not attracted to it though. Yeah. Yeah. And they're both just like, no. It's hilarious. No. No. Don't care.

Hmm. Well, it's pretty discriminatory. They're like, all right. Okay. I like this person is, is actually like giving you a pitch on why you should like dicks. Like it's cool. Like that's the sales pitch. You should consider a dick in your life.

Well. Like what? I think, okay. So, but what if they didn't, okay. So what if they don't have a dick anymore? Yeah, but still like, like it was a biological veil and you can be like, yeah, but that's just that in and of itself is too unappealing. I mean, you should be allowed to say that.

Some people doesn't affect them and they should be allowed to. Of course. But like as far as when what you're attracted to, the fact that anybody else would chime in on any part of you being attracted or not attracted to something. It's crazy. Like I'm not. It's crazy talking. I'm not.

Yeah. I agree. It's not that you're, it's just, it's doesn't ring your bell and that's fine. It's fucking fine. It can't be. It's not a discriminant. Cause I was just thinking myself, okay, would I be sexually attracted to Buck Angel? And I'm like, I don't know.

Can you bring up Buck Angel? Let me look at a picture of him. Cause I'm like, am I, but then hold on. Is Buck Angel my type of guy? I mean, he's jacked. He's jacked. Yeah. I don't know.

Tatted up. But then if I know that he's been a woman before. And still has a vagina. Oh, he still has a badge? Oh yeah. It's the whole thing. Oh, then yeah. No, I don't want that.

No, I need a peener. Right. Yeah. No, I can't do it. I don't think that's discriminatory really. No. And I admire Buck Angel. I think it's cool, but it's not for me.

Yeah. I think that's fine. It's not for me. I mean, usually people are just allowed to say like, oh, you know, if someone gets like, I like dating black women or I, I date Asian women or I like blonde. And that's supposed to be fine for someone to state their preferences. That's right. Right.

And if you go, oh, I'm not into that. I mean, are you discriminating or are you just like, this is just what I'm attracted to. Good argument, Tom. You know. So if you say, yeah. So if you're like, I'm not attracted to white ladies. You're not discriminating. That's generally accepted as okay to say.

Yeah. Yeah. You're just not into white ladies. Yeah. Totally fine. There you go. All right. Look at him.

Dang. Oh boy. Ugh. Okay. First time on TikTok. You want to describe that to the listeners? Yeah. It's an elderly gentleman with the camera angle horrendous again, like up till he's shirtless.

There's no words. There's no words. He just goes, and he's got no teeth and he doesn't know what's happening. He looks like he's probably sitting on a toilet. I think. I've had that rooster picture behind him. That's a kitchen. Great.

That should go in the kitchen. And he just stares and then he hit upload. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Fuck. It's his pet wolf. That's a real wolf.

And then, oh my God. The caption that accompanied this was no flinching, no fear I trust this animal with my life. Yeah. And I'm like, you should not. Then that thing clamps down on you and he's like, Leonard, stop. Leonard. Leonard no more.

Stop it. Shh. Supa. Supa. He starts giving us commands. Stupid commands. Release. Release.

Yeah. He's fucking dead. So dead. Yeah. There's a bear. Another bear pet. Russian. This is fucking insane.

It's insane that people are doing this. Yeah. They're Russians. Yeah. They're kind of crazy. Yeah. They're fucking crazy dudes. Only when I have it in my mouth.

Woop woop. Doesn't that clip bother your mouth? Yes, the question he's asking. And then he's like, only when it's in my mouth. Can we see one uplifting one? Is there anything in here? It's not going to make me sick or sad. Probably not.

Fuck. Good boy. Chilling in his living room. This is one of those crazy Saudi dudes. Yeah. That owns a fucking Liger or whatever this thing is. Yeah. Look at the fucking size of that.

Imagine you walk into that house. He's like, come watch the game. Look at how he's chilling on his couch. Yeah. And you open, you see that and you're just like, oh my god. The screen you'd let out. Oh yeah. And that thing shits wherever it wants.

Of course. It's a goddamn lion. I know. I can't like toilet train it. Fuck. It's so dumb. What does he feed it to? Probably eats a hundred pounds of meat a day or something.

Oh yeah. I didn't even think about that. Fuck. Like just that alone should deter you from getting a pet lion or whatever. And it kills all your other pets too. You used to have dogs and cats and shit. The whole neighborhood. Yeah.

Yeah. Like how do you maintain this animal's needs? It has to run. It has to eat hundreds of pounds of shit a day. It has to take a shit somewhere. And lions also sleep like 20 hours a day or something. So it's always laying around. And it doesn't need to hunt anymore because you have to feed it.

Fuck. It's a horrible pet. Are you serious, Mark? Uh-oh. Can I not eat my dinner in peace? It's getting too much, innit? What are you, put a pack of cheese on your bacon again? Yeah, a spicy cheddar that is.

Oh my God. I don't like that he's eating on the bed. Yeah. Yeah, I've cut down on the bread. So I can have me sandwiches later. Oh, give up. So he's got spicy cheddar. It's like a block of spicy cheddar on top of baked beans on top of like cut up Canadian

bacon type ham. Look at this guy too. He's like a lean guy. Oh yeah. And then like a half a loaf of toast with butter slathered on it. Yeah, it's just gnarly. Gnarly as shit. He's lean, yeah.

And he's eating on his bed. And he's eating in his bed. Fuckin' hate it. Maybe they just moved or something. I don't know. She's like, oh, come on. He's like, what? Put down on the bread, didn't I?

Oh, not in it. I eat on my hotel beds all the time. And I always end up getting sauce on my sheets. Just eat at the table. Why not eat at the table? Because I can't see the TV sometimes. Okay, here's why. The last of toe I was at, I finally figured out how to Chromecast or whatever Netflix

on the TV in my bedroom. So for me to fucking switch the TV over to the living room, eat in there. And I got to figure out the TV in the other room. And then I got to find my place in the movie. I was like, nah, I'll just eat in my bed. But then I get sauce all over it. God, fuck. You're such an animal.

Oh, that's a cicada. That's what they look like when they make that noise. That's a huge one. That's a cicada. Look how big that is. That's not a regular. Okay, then what is it? I didn't say is anything else.

No, they're not. They're shaking their heads. No, that's a cicada. That's a grasshopper. That's a monster grasshopper. Nah, it's a cicada. That's how they make the noise. Okay, maybe that's one of the Philippines or some shit.

But that's how they make the noise. They go... That's a monster. That's a monster right there. Okay, then what is that? That's from the fucking pre-Jurassic period. Look at that thing. So...

Oh, dude, there it is. Yeah. Oh, fuck, it is a giant grasshopper. Yeah. Sorry, guys. I thought it was a cicada. Everybody knew you were wrong. Everybody knew you were wrong.

Everybody knew. Everybody knew. Everybody's against you. Everybody knew, huh? Yeah. So fucking stupid. Yeah. Women play women are fucking stupid.

No, yeah. But the cicada, hold on, do you hear me out? Yeah. They do them... It's the males that make that noise, and they have a similar mechanism that they make that noise. Yeah, I know. Women are stupid.

There you go. Yeah. I like the cicadas. When the power is out, there's still going to be burgers and dogs. There's still going to be a hurricane party, even if it only ends up being a tropical storm. I'm prepared and ready to go. What do you think? She's pretty cool.

Are you focused on the barbecue or something else? I just like that it's for sure like a friend's mom. You know, it has like real mom vibes, and she's actually showing you that she's handy, like knows how to prepare for whatever the storm coming, and she has on overalls and nothing underneath, and her big fake tits are popping out of the side, and her handle is big TT Maggie, big titty Maggie. Maggie with two E's, all stupid and slut like. Yeah.

I'm Maggie with two E's. But you know, she's putting out her, you know, her tit energy. Big tit energy, big fake tit energy. Yeah. Yeah. Well, it struck me in the beginning because she is wearing a bikini top, if you'll notice, but she's pulled the bikini top to the side so that it's just her tits against the denim, which is such an odd...

Doesn't feel good. ...to deliberate choice. Yeah, it doesn't feel good. Because like work denim is also rougher. Yeah. It's not soft denim. No. No, and you know, yeah, it just, it struck me as such an odd choice.

I love these TikToks where the older, like the... Sexualized, yeah. Yeah, they always have... Women in their 60s or something. Yes. The over-sexed, like 60s woman is fantastic. It's such a great lane. I want to know the psychological origin of that.

Because that's always a fascinating thing to learn. Yes. Like what is... I have a theory. What is it? Because for men, it feels like it gets discussed more, you know? Oh, because... Yes.

Yes, that's a good point. The man that is constantly stays hypersexual into older age and you realize that he's trying to... He's just taking a dose of things, trying to fill in these stays empty and unfulfilled and eventually is usually alone, right? This is like a different... It's kind of a different vibe, but it's also... Because most women take a natural path, as do most men, which is as you age, you kind

of de-escalate your... Sexuality. Yeah. It become... Most people get more conservative as they get older, right? Correct. And this is almost like the fear that the sexuality is no longer the first thing that you identify with.

See, here's what's happening. Here's what I think is happening. Yeah. It is 100% accurate that the over-sexed 60-something-year-old male is depressing and sad. And it makes you sad and depressed because it's hollow because he's been that guy his whole life and probably never had a family and kids in a life. This type of lady has had the husband, had the children, has given her entire youth and life to raising kids and the husband.

And now that her children are out of the nest, they're in college, she's finally single, maybe she got a divorce or maybe she's still with the same man, but now she's finally... It's me. It's my turn. And celebrate me and make me feel desirable and not because I put it on the back burner. Yes, because my 20s and 30s were spent raising children or whatever and now this is my time and I've taken good care of myself, I had the mom boob job and I'm going to show it off.

Yeah. That's what I think is this time. And she looks great. Yeah. Sure. In her defense and her... Whatever. She looks great.

I love the nonchalantness. There's that other woman that was like, I'm just cutting beef and her boobs were wagging everywhere and you're like, bitch, you know what you're doing. Yeah. Yeah. So... There's this other lane. It's great.

I don't have it prepped, but I'll tell you there's another lane that I've been sending to Zola to prep for. What is that? I don't even want to tell you. It's a lane of sexuality that's happening online that's very funny to me because it's presented as something else. That's my favorite kind. Oh, yes.

There's direct just hoeing. We're like, I'm a hoe. Here's photos of me, but a funnier thing to me is to be like, I like yard work. Yeah. You know? Like I'm just going to show you how to fix stuff. What? Right.

And then if someone's like, look at those big old tits and then someone, she would be like, how about we just focus on my yard work or the best is like somebody who defends her. Hey, man, Maggie's like, Maggie's showing us how to paint. You know? You're like, okay, buddy. Sure. Yeah.

Leave her alone, guys. That's what she's doing. Yeah. But I like Maggie's big tits. So, you know. Yeah. No. Congratulations, Maggie, on your great big old tits.

Yeah. Maybe she's hooking up with dudes this way. I don't know. Sure. I'm sure. Well, she's getting a lot of attention. Maybe that's what feels really good. I think that's what it is.

People like attention. Yeah. Because that's a very suburban setting. Yeah. She's been a good mommy. And for sure, the neighbors know. Oh. Which is hilarious.

That's kind of the funniest thing of all. It was like, do you see Maggie? Yeah. Yeah, I do. Doing her videos? Yeah, I do. Yeah. Maggie and her tit videos.

Yes. She's got a big TikTok following. What the fuck is TikTok? What is TikTok? Yeah. They don't even know about it. All right. We should wrap it up, Gene.

All right, mommy. I love you. All right. Thank you guys for watching. Thank you for listening. I said I love you. Yeah. I love you too.

Thank you. Okay. Come in. Come in. Come in. Come in. Come in. Ah, get off.

All right, baby. Ah, so good. Ah, ah, ah. Get off. Ah, ah, ah. Get off. So good. Oh, baby.

Ah, ah, ah. So good. Ah, get off. Oh, baby. So good. Ah, ah, ah. So good. Ah, get off.

So good. Ah, baby. So good. Ah, get off. Come in. Baby. Ah, ah, ah. So good.

Ah, ah, get off. What about that? Ah, come in. Come in. Ah, ah, ah. Ah, get off. What about that? Ah, ah, get off.

Ah, ah, get off. Ah, ah, get off. Ah, ah, get off. Come in. Come in, come in, come in.