Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - Grossed Out | Your Mom's House Ep. 699

Episode Date: March 15, 2023

SPONSORS:-Go to https://Saatva.com/theshit to get $200 off ANY mattress of your choice.Mommies only this week in the mommy-dome with Tom Segura and Christina P. We talk about a fun box of DVD's Tom had, false advertising, and big D problems. Would you rather be 400 lbs or have your spouse be 400 lbs? The fans weigh in! Christina surprises Tom with a disgusting booger confession from Ali Macofsky and Christina asks Tom maybe the coolest question of all time. They discuss sharing tapes with your dad, where the most loads get spilled, some of the worst tattoos you've EVER seen, and Dhar Mann's actors protesting. Christina argues a bold defense strategy for Leonardo DiCaprio, they discuss Jonah Hill's Netflix documentary "Stutz," and we follow up on the roommate from hell. We watch a super cool Chiro adjustment, see more mommies telling their baristas they love them, Starbucks, TikToks and Nature is Metal.https://tomsegura.com/tourhttps://christinaponline.com/tour-dateshttps://store.ymhstudios.com/https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast

I have pulled my pants down so many times. I just had a woman be like, hell no. Yeah, it's so big. Where am I gonna, I need a doggie bag to take some of that home. Okay. Would you masturbate to the same material that your father, let you know your father masturbates to?

No, just like she's an angel. Oh, angel standing by. Yeah, she's a dick angel. Sure. That's why I wore these today. Just for you, buddy. Yeah. Just for you to think about coming all over them.

Thanks so much. You got it. Welcome, welcome, welcome to your mom's house. ["Mama's House Theme Song"] Do you want to know a really cute story? Last night my seven-year-old came into my bed last night around four in the morning and turned on the vibration because he just loves how that feels.

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Right now, go to satva.com slash the shit for $200 off your next Satva purchase. Again, satva.com slash the shit for $200 off. And here we are. We're back. Welcome to another episode of your mom's house. Fucking unreal. Listen, first of all, I came correct.

I came wearing my OG STs. I don't know if you noticed. I've lost these glasses. I've just lost them for like two years and now I found them. And I wore my old school track suit. And did you even notice? I have glasses. Are you sure you were?

No, those are yours, homie. These are mine. Bro, listen, do you see the sparkle on my tits? Do you smell me? What's that? I put stripper glitter on my tits for you today. Why'd you do that? It's just for fun.

Because I went to that soap shop with the kids. It's not a bed, I always call it bed bath and beyond, but it's called Bath and Body Works. Bed, okay. Bed Bath and Body Works. Okay. Anyway, they have the stripper shimmer and the smells I used to wear.

That's what it's called? Yeah, it's spray. It makes you smell like a whore and look like one too. Cool. I thought I would excite you sexually. That's smudge there. Just won't go. Jesus Christ.

What's on there? I don't know. It feels like I've been on tour. I just came all over the place. What's going on? That's a whole genre coming on glasses. There you go. Oh, there it is.

Specs Appeal. Specs Appeal, that was a series of porn. I was given the DVD the weekend that I worked with David Tell in 2000 and four or five. Yeah, four or five. I remember it and it came in a brown paper bag. You came home and your trunk was a big brown paper bag full of the most deviant pornography I'd ever seen.

I remember this so well. So I'm so stoked because I'm working with David Tell. Yeah. And then a porn company. I want to say- I know the name. Kick ass? Oh, no.

What? I thought it was Evil Angel? No. Okay. No, definitely don't. No, no, no, no, no. It was called like, I swear to God, it was called like kick ass.

Okay. And they brought their, they were like we're huge Atel fans and they come backstage and he's super nice and they go, we brought you some of our stuff and they came in with like a box of DVDs. So he's like, Tom, you want some of these? And I go, yeah, he goes, hold on.

Let me pick the ones I want first. So he took, he like went through the ones that he wanted, put those aside and then he was like, you can have these. And one of them was specs appeal. And the whole premise of specs appeal is some girl wears glasses and then when the guy comes, he just shoots it all over her glasses. Yeah.

We're like, oh, that's a genre. Yeah. I watched that one time with you. And I was like, I don't think I'm into this. And then there was the best one ever, the best title. It was transvestite porn. Yes. And it was called.

I just had it. No, I lost it. I know, it was like, it was so good. I know what it is. What? False advertising. False advertising. Yeah.

Probably the most perfect title. Is it there? There it is. Come, come eating cuckold. Come slam the fetish too. Yep. Filipinas. I wonder, is there a search?

Can you put on, can you see if there's false advertising? Because we might be able to find. The greatest. And then you'll get the full story. Trans title of all times. False advertising. There it is. Yeah.

So here's the thing with this. He threw this in the box of DVDs or like that he gave me. And then I went to do an overseas tour. Yes. And you put false advertising, the transsexual porn DVD into my suitcase. And it was discovered at the airport by the person searching my false advertising thing.

It's also like, you really could be, if you weren't paying attention, like look at false advertising three right there. If you just were like, oh, okay, false advertising. Like if you didn't think about it. Sure. And then you see is like, yeah, this is a hot girl. Yeah.

Right. And then they're like, oh no, they're going to trick you here. Sneaky. Oh yeah. Let's see the specs. Oh my gosh, babe. This is like a scroll down memory lane before we were married.

We were watching specs. Like how many specs appeals are there? That's the one. That's the one. 17. Oh, wow. I feel like that's the one. Yeah. I think you're right.

Maybe. And if that's old enough. I feel like it's specs appeal three. The one that. Oh, maybe you're right. That we got a hold of. Maybe you're right. Yeah. But I get this fetish.

You know, I get it. The glasses thing? I do. Like it isn't a turn me on, but I don't, I don't not understand it. I'll say this. I never realized that like, I don't think I go like, oh, that's my thing.

But I've never seen a woman in a pair of glasses and not imagine coming all over them. Oh, that's why I wore these today. Just for you, buddy. Yeah. Just for you to think about coming all over them. Thanks so much. You got it.

Yeah. Yeah. It's pretty nice. I remember in school, I was always like, teacher would, but I'd be like, come all over your stupid glasses. Yeah. That's nice, Tom.

Yeah. Well, why don't we do this the right way and start the show? Are you ready for it? I'm ready. It's a good news. You're going to like the way you look with this one. I guarantee it.

So you got a big wee-wee? Well, let's talk about it. And little wee-wee game, I need y'all to listen up because it should make y'all feel a little bit better. Just cause you got a big dick, it is not all good I hear in these streets. Number one downside to having a big dick,

as soon as you drop your draws, some women going to think they about to have some of the most amazing sex, not knowing that they about to get eight inches for about three minutes. This shit is big time. Oh, it's Randy. Don't bring anyone loving to this.

Don't mind when the fuck is dead. Oh. Welcome, welcome, welcome. Welcome to your mom's house with Tom Segura. Tom Segura. And Christina Pajitz and Christina Pajitz. Welcome to your mom's house.

Oh. Ha, ha, ha. Meow. Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow. Meow. It's nice to have somebody who voices like our community. As a guy who his whole life, I've been like, oh, I feel silly with this stupid dick

that flopping against my knees. I'm just glad that somebody's talking about it. Yeah, giving voice to your anguish. Yeah, it's like, I feel like I'm in an underrepresented group, no one's talking up for us. You're so marginalized. Yeah. Especially as a white guy with a big one.

It's tough. It's different. Another downside to having a big dick is that you can't really do all the positions that you wanna do because you just get in too deep. So you gotta kinda let the other person dictate what you're doing and that ain't no fun because you can't do what feels natural to you.

And for example, some women would be like, I love doggy style, that's my favorite position. I just take a deep breath and be like, not anymore. And then other women, they'll just nope out. They'll literally take one look at your shit and just be like, nope. This is literally the story of my life. I have pulled my pants down so many times.

I just had a woman be like, hell no. It's so big. I need a doggy bag to take some of that home. Okay. Yeah, I like that he's like the struggle. He's really putting it out there, his struggle. Yeah, well, he actually is trying. I mean, there is somebody out there who's like,

oh, I guess all right, that wouldn't be so great. I know. You remember that guy that we thought his dick was really big, but it was like a tumor and it was wrapped in a bandage in Mexico? Yeah. That was neat. We didn't think his dick was really big.

Oh, I thought it was big. He was advertised and shown to the world as the world's largest dick. So it's not like, I know, but you said, we thought his dick was really big. Like you and I only thought this was a dick. So what happened is his penis is actually inside of this growth, you know what I'm saying?

So this appears to be just a gargantuan penis, but what it really is, is his penis is inside of this, essentially a tumor, a skin growth. And the funny thing about this is, you know, this man was eventually approached by documentary series and then doctors who, you know, they did these scans, the MRIs and all that, and they're like, oh, it's like if you're penis,

this is your penis, and it's inside of this. A cocoon. This hand, like this, right? And they go, we can trim all this so you can have a normal penis. And he didn't want to do it. He didn't want to do it because he liked being. The glory.

Yeah, the world's largest. I get it. Donkey dick. On some level, you get it. But also, I think I almost get it more if somebody is, you know, much younger. But at this point, this guy can't really do much with his life.

Yeah, he's not f-ing. But that's what I'm saying. No, he can't f. But that's why he's like, at least let me have my title. Yeah, yeah. I can't do anything else in life. I think he lives in a village or something. And he's just like, let me be the donkey dick guy.

Yeah, because in his village, he's the guy. But it's also, it's a non-functioning growth. Like his penis doesn't actually, he urinates, it dribbles out. It doesn't get hard. He can't put it in anyone. Yeah, it's a disaster. But he gets the title.

But he gets the title. He'd rather take the glory over a functioning penis. I can see wanting the title for a minute, but I can also be like, no, I remember, I would like this to be touching someone. I know. Yeah. Well, that's the difference between you and that guy.

Also, I think if he had anything, like if he had something he was passionate about as far as a career or something that really excited him in life. He'd be like, yeah, do that so that it's just no longer a hindrance. Yeah. Because he can't really, but he's just like, no, I like.

It's all he has, babe. I wanna be in these documentaries. It's all he has. Yeah, he's got the title and the glory and attention and stuff. I think what he really likes are the eyeballs. The whole, when he puts on those pants and somebody goes like that,

I think that is what actually fulfills him. That satiates him, yeah, yeah. Oh, that's interesting. Yeah, you're right. Instead of actually getting his penis touched. The fantasy I think about big dicks to men, not to women, to men is that a man goes, oh, I want that moment, the eyeball movement

where someone's like. Damn. That's what, cause that's what guys want. Guys wanna always feel impressive. So they wanna feel like, you know, you go, look at those muscles and then like, ooh, right? So they wanna feel that or like, you're such a, you know, you make this much money and like, ooh.

And the big dick in their mind is just another, ooh, like, wow, and this guy gets to experience that. He gets to experience people going like, what is that? That's so funny. And I think he doesn't wanna deal with somebody just looking at him and being like. Walking. Of course. That's just, it's too addictive to feel that.

You guys are like toddlers. We're just like toddlers. We're like, oh, look how good you are. Wow, that's all you? Yeah, yeah. That's cool. But I guess I liked that when I'd show people my tits for the first time.

I want that wow factor. You want the wow. Wow, look at those big ones, yeah. So you get to, you actually get to experience what that is then. Sure, sure. On the tit level. On the tit level.

That's why chicks get implants and stuff. They want someone to be like, wow. Look at those, look at those hands. Those big old tits. Those state droopers. But the thing is it's fun, it's interesting about tits versus dicks. And I think this isn't spoken about enough, okay?

Is that somebody goes, wow, look at those big tits. Maybe they go, that's impressive. But it's not supposed to inform your ability to be a satisfactory or impressive lover. It's just aesthetic. But the man thing, it's like what he's saying, the woman sometimes sees his dick and she goes like, this is about to be the best experience of my life

because of the size of this. But people don't think that would, they don't go, this would be great because of your tits. That's true. So there's a lot more attached to. More pleasure. More pleasure and it's like. It's not easy.

Listen, the dick stuff is brutal. I think you guys really have to deal with a lot more in that department. I mean, we deal with like, does my vag look disgusting? And the answer is yes, it always is. Yeah, yeah. So you got a big wee wee? Yeah.

But vags are always kind of sloppy ploppy meat vessel. You know what I mean? It's like you just become one with the fact that it's a disaster down there. Also, I think ultimately, fucking guys don't care what it looks like, they care what it feels like. Yeah, they don't care. I mean, that shit could look like just 30-year-old

aged pastrami just hanging in a window in Córdoba, Spain. Just fucking, they don't give a shit. It's like, what does it feel like when you go in there? Tried cured meats, yeah. I know. That's what it cares. That's the blessing in the skies about dudes is you really don't care a lot about stuff.

90% of what women get done is for other women. Like aesthetically. I know. Or their own insecurity about it, but it's not because guys are like, oh, I really wish you would fix that. No, except for fatness, maybe. Yeah.

Oh, speaking of, we have some would you fatters. Yeah, we do. Yeah. You wanna hear the... Yeah, go ahead. What you got first? Hey guys, I've had a close scenario like this. Well, you gotta recap.

Oh, I'm sorry, you're right. This is the would you rather where I was like, would you rather I be 400 pounds or you be 400 pounds? So basically, are you gonna be 400 pounds or your partner spouse? Which is, I mean, it's a huge dilemma because it's like, do I look at somebody that's that way or do I wanna take the burden of being that way?

Yeah. And I chose you being fat because I believe that you could lose the way better than me. Right. And you chose... I chose me being fat because I don't wanna look at you like that.

Yeah, which is entirely different motivation. Yours is purely aesthetic, purely just for looks. Yeah, cause I didn't wanna throw up when I looked at you. Cool. Hey guys, I've had a close scenario like this and definitely let me take the weight. I was a college swimmer and after I gained 70 pounds because I kept eating the same.

My wife is tiny and stayed perfect. Wouldn't be able to tell you the shit she says about how fat I got, but better me than her. Yeah. This one says... For sure. Dear Tom and Christina, I'll let you know that according to my wife,

the only acceptable answer to Christina's would you rather is the following. I think I'd rather have you be 400 pounds and hope you die so I can marry someone else. Oh, that's... We didn't even think about that. Yeah. And he wrote, thanks for ending my marriage.

Love you, Jared. And then the other one wrote, I have experienced with this. I met my now ex-wife in high school. I have always been big, about 220 pounds in high school. At the time she was perfectly thick. We got married. I fluctuated in weight over the years,

but within a reasonable zone from where I started. She, on the other hand, got bigger and bigger to the point. She was definitely bigger than I was. I was for sure not attracted to her at that point, but I'm not an asshole. I said nothing and I kept hogging. After years for her begging for it,

I finally paid for her to have weight loss surgery. Wow. Who wants to guess what happened when she lost the weight and got hot? Oh, dude. She decided it was no longer time to be a triple D SLUT, or it was time to no longer be a triple,

I don't know what that means. And that'd be a triple D slut wife. Right, so I guess just be a SLUT out in the streets. For a seacoat. So to answer the question, if you're with a shitty person, let that motherfucker be 400 pounds because they suck. You guys are doing good, Preston.

You guys are doing good. Yeah. Fuck. Yeah. Well, the tribe has spoken. Pretty cool, right? Yeah. Yeah.

That's terrible that people have actually experienced that. Yeah, it's pretty wild, man. Oh, fuck, dude. Yeah. Oh, hey, listen, I have a surprise for you. How you do? Yeah, a dog, like. Come down later, pervusu.

She's the best. Yeah. Fuck. Hey, so, man, I've been waiting to share this with you. Is this a surprise thing that's in here? This is a surprise video, bro. Okay. I've been waiting to share this with you for so long,

just weeks. Like, you were in, you were in Australia when this happened. Okay. And you were the first person I thought of. I have not seen this. Oh, no. No, you have not. Should I click it?

Let's go, let's fucking, let's dive in, dude. This is from my podcast, Where My Mom's At. Allie Makovsky was the guest. And we learned something very troubling about Allie Makovsky. Go ahead. She's a very funny comedian. I pick my nose.

Sometimes I eat my booger. That's what I mean. You eat them still? I do, yeah. You eat them still. This is a WMMA exclusive. Go ahead and mark this. Hold on, we gotta talk about this.

This is just like every once in a while. It's like any time I pick my nose, I eat my boogers. Okay. I like it. They're yummy. That's okay. And I've talked about this before on other podcasts, but everyone goes, oh, you just gotta flick it.

Okay, so now my boogers are just under the table on the chair. It's disgusting. I'm putting it back in where it belongs. If I feel a booger, I simply grab it, I examine it, and I decide, hey, what's the best? And usually it's just put it in your mouth and get rid of the problem.

Is it the taste or the consistency at this point? I don't even know if I love it. It's just so easy. You're just used to it. I'm used to it, yeah, but I do enjoy it. For those just listening, my husband just dry-heaved, and he's totally red, and you look like you really have tears in your eyes like you're gonna vomit.

And I know how much this upsets you, and this is making me so happy right now. This is payback for all the puke videos. Is that what the surprise was? The you knew was gonna make me feel sick? Yeah. You did? Yeah.

Every time we talk about eating boogers, that's how you react. Okay, kudos. Good job. Well, how do you feel? Tell me. I feel sick to my stomach. What do you mean, how do I feel?

And it's not because, I hope you know, for Ali, it's not because it's you. It's just that topic has always, I don't know, I have this reaction to it. I always have. Have you tried eating your boogers? Fuck no. Not even as a kid?

No. You never just gave them? No. Yeah. I mean, I've had, I had like anybody snot, you know, drip into my mouth or like, you know, something drips into your, like, but like actually made the conscious effort to do that?

Never. Right. I used to be a avid nose picker and eater when I was a child. I've told this story on the podcast at some point before too, that when I was in, God, it was third grade. I think it was third grade.

You know, old school people that are young now don't know this, but there really wasn't a big emphasis on seat belts for a long time in this country. And we would be in the back of a station wagon. You have to look that up too. And no seat belts, no nothing. And we're in the back of this thing. Myself, Brian, you know, probably one of my sisters,

just fucking around going somewhere. You know, we're kids. We're like seven, eight years old, eight, nine years old. And we have pulled up to a stoplight. And at the stoplight, we have a minivan pulls up behind us and I know the lady driving. It's Mrs. Obsarski. And I'm in school with her son, Steve.

And I, we go, oh, look who it is. And we start waving. We don't realize that I guess there's a reflective tent on the back of the station wagon. So she doesn't see us, but we keep, we're like trying to wave and get her. And she's sitting there. And I remember like it was yesterday.

We see her pick her nose. We're like, oh my gosh, she's picking her nose. And she looks and she puts it in her mouth. And we were like, I just was like floored. Now that, I don't remember making me nauseous, but the older I've gotten, the more nauseating it is to me. I don't know why it's, it's not like a, I mean, it is, I guess a judgment,

but it is happening on a deeper level to me. It's, it's the way I feel about vomiting. Like you, you get, you get physically reactive. I get super reactive, yeah. Do you know, by the way, we had a revelation on this episode as well, of where my mom's at that, you know, who else picks and eats, do you know who else?

Who? Your co-host of two bears, Bert Christianer. That I've heard before. Luckily, I never see it and we don't talk about it. So don't talk about it. You need to bring this up, Tom. Like there's guys, there's like guys got a lot of problems. I don't think any of that focused on nose picking with him.

Yeah, cause Ali was like, yeah, you know, who else is Bert, Bert does it? Did they talk about it? Uh-huh. I, yeah, it is something that I find absolutely physically repulsive. Yeah, I can't even, I don't know. And I'm not like not gross.

I'm sure there's things that you could, it's not like I'm just super. You just burped on the mic, by the way. Right. I haven't done that in like two episodes. There's not, there's certainly things about me that they'd probably hear be like, that's even grosser. I don't know.

But that one in particular has always done something to me. Eating bugs. Uh-huh. I mean, look, I don't mean to shame her or anybody in the booger community, I think it's fine. And I get it, like when I was a little girl, I really loved doing it. Oh man, you find like a.

I really wish we would move on. A good scraggler with like a crunch around the end of it. And I remember the time I stopped though, my dad, I was in the back of my backseat of my dad's. Dirty bitch. I was in the backseat of my dad's car doing it. And he was like, you gotta knock that off. You gotta knock that off.

Otherwise the wicked witch is gonna take away your, your nose, your finger. And I was like, oh shit. Really? Yeah, you can stop me from doing that stuff. God, it's so repulsive. Yeah. Yeah, I'm just fucking.

I have a question for you. This is another topic that came up on where my mom's at. Go ahead. Allie's father inherited a porno tape. Cause back in the day, there were VHS tapes from his dad of like, you know, early, early seventies, whatever pornography. Probably earlier than then.

Yeah. So in essence, would you masturbate to the same material that your father, that you know your father masturbates to? No, no. Right? No, yeah. No. Right?

Well, of course not. I think you do is, I would do what I always do. I would just judge him harshly, say horrible things and then be like, and make fun of it. But I don't think it would have any arousing effect on me whatsoever. Okay. But imagine this.

It's your 13 years old pre-internet. This is the only pornographic material you have. But you also don't have a concept of what you're saying. See, your way you're presenting it at first is like, this is what made your dad come. Now you watch. And I'd be like, for sure I judge it so harshly. But if it's a discovery at 13 of you're like,

oh, I have access to naked women and them having sex, you're not processing. This is also what arouses my dad. Right. You're just going like, oh, I don't have any stimulus like this. Right. So you might do it unknowing, like not knowing that this is.

Sure. Okay. Okay, so let's say you didn't know and now you're 18 and now you know. Do you still masturbate to that? Probably not. Because then you figure it out and you go like, I don't want to be anything like you in that regard.

It'd be really weird if your dad goes, you know what makes me come? And then you're like, oh, shit. You're like, I do. You're like, this thing, he's like, that's the hottest thing in the fuck. I've come to that so many times too, dad. And then you guys, then he's like,

you want to watch it together? And you're like, oh, God damn it. And then you have him like, you know. So cool. And then he gives you some funnel cake. Yeah. I think he gives you some funnel cake. Best day of your life.

And you're like. He jacked off in four strokes. And you have a story like that with your dad. Yeah. Your dick head becomes so sensitive. It's the worst way he says it. When your dad's like, you know what, he looks at you while he's jacking off.

You know what, a car really makes me come. And you're like, come on, man. That's the worst part of this whole thing. Yeah. Yeah. And he looks at you and he's like, here's my favorite. And then you guys look at each other.

He's like, I can never last through this part. And you're like, oh, me neither. And then you guys cross streams of jizz. He's like, push it and test the other. You're like, I know. Such a weird bonding experience. So bizarre. I'm sure it's happening right now though.

If you can see that. You sure it's happening right now? You can think it. It's happening on Planet Earth. I bet somebody write in right now. They're going to write in. No one's going to write in. Somebody's writing an email right now.

My dad and I like to come to the same porno. There are limits to this theory. There are limits. For sure we're not getting an email. Funny that you mentioned it. My dad and I always try. You didn't think that Milf Manor was possible. That's totally different.

It exists. That's disgusting. It's very similar in that, you know, there's sex going on with kids and parents. I'm so fucking. Do you feel sick inside? Of course I feel sick inside. And I'm also sick, but I keep getting these messages.

Oh, oh my gosh, oh. Where did Tom come? Daytona, hey Tom, love the NASCAR two bears episode. Did you bless the city of Daytona with your thick, thick, hot white cum, Jim? No. Hi mommy, we were just watching last week's episode discussing where Tom comes.

We started a debate based on the cities which have the most cum in it. We were debating on which cities throughout time have the most cum spilled per square mileage. Oh, that's a great thought provoker. I say Greece and he says Mesopotamia. Why? I wanna see if the mommies have a hot take on this

with Tom's current tour. I love you, touch my camera through the fence. So now hold on, is the question, how much cum has been spilled historically like throughout time in a particular city? So Greece, I understand the reasoning being it's the cradle of Western civilization. Peeps have existed the longest there.

Is that the reasoning? Sure, and they also had a, it's a pretty well-documented, documented, you know, sexually open society. So that's why I'm probably saying that too. Mesopotamia, I don't know why. Why Mesopotamia? Also because of just historical implications.

Any thoughts on that? Did they do stuff? I think they're saying it's like one of the first societies. Yeah, so people have been there. Not necessarily, see, I understand the theory. But how are you not, here's the thing, how are you not gonna say Beijing? There's just so many people.

Thank you. See how fucking Western-centric they are? How privileged, check your fucking privilege, you guys. I agree. What about China, our favorite, or North Korea? Mumbai. Mumbai? Yeah.

Yeah. What about those civilizations? Well, there's billions of people in this. You don't think they're coming all the time? How do you think there's so many people there? This is interesting. Yeah. China probably has the most calm spilt.

Well, spilt is a real interesting way of... Well, they only let you have one kid. Yeah, but they're still coming. It's not like you're not coming. Right, so it's spills is what I'm saying. They're not, the load doesn't go into a lady. I guess. Gosh, this is really, so here's the deal, man.

Length of time doesn't necessarily mean frequency. There might be societies that are more sexually repressed, right, that may have existed longer, but maybe there's less fucking. So you look like the Parisians who love to fuck. They're open about it. They're very open. How about the Nordics that just were up in pillage and...

Oh, you're gonna count fucks? Well, that's a fun, isn't it? Is it all sudden, hey, we didn't fuck? I thought I just assumed it was consensual. This has nothing to do with how many loads have been spilled. Okay, okay, fine, your honor. Now, if you're obviously not spilling, you're like, I don't give a shit.

Right, so there you go. I don't know, man. Hold on. Wow, this is a really interesting topic. I'm gonna go with Paris, like France. I think there's horny. They are, but... The Italians, they love to F.

Oh, Italy, yeah. Italy loves to F. They do. Speaking of, my new lipstick is back in stock from Italy. Christina P's perfect red, you can get it now, thank you. Perfect segue. Yeah. Where they come most.

I put Italian cum in every tube. The last one is also real short and sweet. Hey, I'm from Detroit. Was my city good enough to come in? I love this. Well, you came into Detroit? I don't remember. That was a long time ago.

I don't remember. I don't think so, actually. I don't think so. How do you determine which city you're gonna come in? Just how backed up you are and why, you know, if you're fired up or maybe anxious, stressed out, that'll affect men too. Like you're like, I'm all pent up.

You use it to self-serve. Self-serve, yeah. So that's why I'm wondering. But a lot of times, you know, there was like a, this tour, there was just movement, right? It was just like land, you know, show, sleep. We gotta get up, we gotta get on the bus. We gotta go the next day.

So a lot of those things, it wasn't like, you kind of wanted to have some downtime to do that. You need to build up your reserve. You build up and then you, sometimes you go like, well, I don't wanna do it pre-show. I'm already worn out, you know? So you end up actually holding it a lot. Interesting.

Yeah. Sounds like, yeah, because I mean, I'm not trying to do it like on the run, you know? Have you thought about this? Yeah, tell me. Maybe you make it a fun challenge to come in every city. You know what I mean? Yeah, you're only here for 12 hours.

You gotta come. I would say, for me, I think the challenge, the challenge is like, let's see how long we can hold on to it. That's a challenge. That's a really good idea. So this next run is Latin America. Can you hold your come the entire round?

Ooh, what a, I don't know. New culture, new settings. Will I be scared? Yeah, so anxious. So anxious. Will it help me sleep? So turned on. Maybe those Latin bitches are hot, you know what I mean?

Yeah, I don't know, man. I don't think I'm gonna be out socializing that much and I'm gonna see family, so. Nothing more arousing than family visits. Yeah. Okay. I wish you would try. You could have done it like 20 years ago.

Could have, yeah. Actually, this came out, I'm actually just back from Latin America. Oh. That was such so much fun. You love it? Yeah, spoke Spanish. La la la la la la la la.

Yeah. Anyway, that came so much all over. Cool. Yeah. Oh, man. So. How me. Go ahead.

Okay, you'll like this. Yeah. We have more tramp stamp submissions. Hell yeah, dog. These are the best. This is on my pasty white ass. I don't want it removed, but let's be clear. It is trash, just like Christine's.

Yes. Oh. That's a fucking garbage one. Established 1993. Oh no, and it's like a seal. Yeah. Like one that goes on like a signet. Is that how you say a signet ring, Chad?

You know, it seems like a business seal, you know, like a like a beer or a like a notary step. Yeah, that's garbage. Here's another one. Hi, mommies. It's not a tramp stamp, but it is pretty horrible. Hope you got a good laugh at this one. My husband does pretty regularly.

Thanks, Jean's, Joe. Oh, that's. That might be the worst one of all. Oh, my God. Shit. That's so embarrassing. To have a walking cliche with you all the time. This is some basic bitch's fucking kitchen.

Yeah. You know what I mean? This is like Hobby Lobby, you know, this is Hobby Lobby sign shit. Welcome to Lincolnton, North Carolina. You know, I always say, live, laugh, love. It's like, kiss the chef. Oh my God.

Or kiss me, am I right? Joe, that is horrific. And here's the other bit to it. So it says live, laugh, love, right? And then I see stars and then bars. And then what's that stupid design under it? Like, is that a cover up? I don't know.

It's so. There's hearts, there's stars. There's like a bow. This is just like concept to execution, dog shit. Yeah, yeah. This one, ultimate crap. No, I think we should send you something. I know.

Long sleeve shirt. This is fucking terrible. Now, the only thing that could make this worse is if it were a tramp step. How did somebody not talk to you? Like, how did the artist go? Were they like, yeah, fuck you. That feels like the only person who would tattoo that.

And be like, yeah, you piece of shit. Nobody loves you. That's terrible. Fuck. That's really embarrassing. Hey, mommies, I made a bad decision to get this lovely bit of artwork as soon as I turned 18 and 01.

I had a butterfly sticker on my late 80s Datsun Nissan Centra that I loved and wanted to immortalize it on myself. The tribal actions were a last minute, second bad edition. Oh my God. Fucking terrible. That's Kaya. Kaya?

Yeah. God damn girl. So it's a tramp stamp, which kudos. Good placement. Yeah. The butterfly seen the middle is great. That's a good butterfly, but the tribal accents, the razor, what is that like barbed wire-y?

Yeah. I mean, all you see, like what you see, what goes through your mind when you see this, like if I'm at the beach and I, you know, this woman walked by me in a bikini and I saw that, I'd be like, this shit's been, she's been to rehab like three or four times. You know what I mean?

Like that is, that's somebody who's had a, like either she's been in the system, she served time or she had a real coke problem. See, I see the opposite. What? I tell you why. I feel like, cause if you look at her surroundings, you look at her like sweet smile,

she kind of, she reminds me of Shauna. Like I feel like she could have had- I thought it was Shauna. No, I'm serious. Yeah, it looks a little bit like her, yeah. But like, see this kind of girl, like she may have had just a couple of years where she did a lot of drugs.

That's exactly what I'm saying. Oh, I thought you meant, but no, no, no, you were like, she's in jail. She really messed up. She's been to, or she's- I'm not saying that, I'm just saying, maybe in college, in the 90s, she dropped a little too much E.

She went to a few raves, she hooked up with a few dudes, and like that was two years of like bad decisions. You're saying like a life in prison, like ruin. No, it's in the past. She's been to rehab. Oh no, I'm not saying that far, but I'm not going that far, Tommy.

I'm just saying like, she partied a little too much and made some stupid choices, but she's a good person overall. Look at her family, she's got photos and stuff. Okay. Nice house. All right, number four,

I'm very proud of my tramp-stand of a rat fucking a taco. My mother is not. This is on a woman. This is on Laura. A rat fucking a taco, amazing. I mean, that's a- I kind of like it though. Do you think she fucking parties?

Yeah, I like this chick, I want to hang out with this chick. I kind of like this. The last one here, my fiance got this when she was 21 and believes hers is worse than CP's. I think the sheer size of the tattoo should get her extra points.

Love, Luke, and Jen. Let's see. Hoof. Fuck. Huh? You're gonna marry her, man? Angel standing by. And he's right, the width,

it is the entire width of her back. That is really impressive. I mean, no, by the way, no offense to Jen, but I would just, my automatic thought would be like, this is a whore, you know? Like if I saw her in real life,

I was like, this chick is an absolute prostitute. Such a hooker, yeah. Yeah, angel standing by. What kind of angel, like a cum angel? Yeah, and lapping up her dress. Absolute hooker, yeah. Hey, am I stupid? I don't understand what it means angel standing by.

Like, is she an angel standing by? Like, she's gonna be dead soon. I don't understand why. Is there an angel near her? Like, I don't understand and touch you. Well, I mean, you know, I think it's up to your own interpretation. That's the problem,

is that I don't understand it. I think she's saying, I don't think she's like, there's one near here. I think that she's saying that she is, right? That's what I'm understanding. She's an angel in stand, she's on standby to be dead? No, just like she's an angel.

Oh, angel standing by. Yeah, she's a dick angel. She'll be. She's a dick angel. I mean, this is a stripper tap, right? Like, that's what you see on a... Bruh, anybody would like... You walk through a strip club,

you see the heels, like a picture of the heels, and she's walking, she's facing you and you're like, hey, let's look at this hooker. And then as she walks by, you're looking, it's like angels standing by. You're like, that checks out.

Yeah. Like, hey, I have 50 bucks. Can I get a dance? Yeah. And also like anytime a girl incorporates wings into the tat, man, that's just horse. Super hooker shit.

Yeah, yeah. The wing. By the way, I'm sure she's a lovely person. No, I'm like, this is clearly the past. Yeah. This is clearly an old, because you can tell it's, you know, the tattoo's black.

You made your money and you got out, you know? And now you and Luke have built a life together. Angel standing by. Yeah. And also, I can't, the meaning is killing me too. Is it also to invoke like religious overtones? Hookers do that. Yeah.

Yeah. They do crosses and messages like that, like pray, you know, pray that this will. Yeah. Sure. Yeah, it's an interesting dichotomy. I mean, stripper tats, come on, they're notorious for having just like all types

of like angelic stuff. That's kind of, they fetishize that. They spin angel into something sexual, you know? Geez, yeah. Every little cum angel, you know? Oof. Oofa. Yeah.

Yeah, it's cool. That happens. What are you gonna do? What are you gonna do? Angel standing by. Do you remember this guy, by the way? Hey, Darman fam, I hope you love that message. Please remember, we're not just telling stories,

we're changing lines. You remember him? Of course I do. And he had these like weird as fuck videos, you know? Like. Ugh. You see that guy's face? No wonder he hasn't been on a date in a long time.

Who would ever want to be with someone who looks like that? It doesn't. And they were like really on the nose messages. Like morality. Yeah, morality videos were like, you know, it was very, there wasn't a lot of subtlety to it. You know, like this was, I believe the waiter had a deformity or something.

And then the guy's like, ugh, he is ugly. Yeah. And then the woman's like, why would you speak about somebody like that? Yeah. And then through the course of the video, you know, you learn a lesson about not judging somebody who has, you know, he's like,

I actually burned myself in a fire trying to rescue someone. And then you're like, ugh. Wait, and doesn't that girl leave the good looking guy through the burned guy? And you're like, that's not gonna happen. Right. But then, and then you're like, whatever.

I mean, I guess this is a lane, right? Like life lesson. And then you learn that these videos have like hundreds of millions of views. I know. I think they're actually very, they're very popular in a certain international market. I think they actually do, they perform really well.

Cause it's on YouTube, but they perform real, and Facebook really well overseas. You know, because like, I mean, no offense to them, but like, I can't really see people that I know be like, did you watch this new Darman video where it kind of breaks down why, it's not nice to say the N word. And you're like, oh, that's a cool story.

Thanks. Maybe it's like, is it for children? I think it's more English second language kind of stuff. Like I said. So anyway, that channel has just, it's exploded. So they used to have, you know, I think like him and a couple of people would make these. And now he has studios in like three sound stages.

And it's this whole thing. He also documents his life pretty well. He is uber successful. If you go to his Instagram page, he is, you know, he's the guy that, you know, that does it, it's his thing. And, you know, he'll post like, I think like there are things on there,

his home life, you know, and it'll be like his family. He's got a beautiful family, but he clearly does very, very well. Like he's become like a very wealthy guy. And, you know, so he'll, he's one of the people that'll show the, you know, here's my house and he'll be like, oh, he's shit. Like this is a fucking crazy house.

So meaning that this is clearly working out, like it's doing well. So he uses a lot of the same actors in these videos. They are protesting the work conditions and the wages. Yeah. So basically one of them said, if you're going to profit off of these morals, you need to at least give the people who are working

underneath them the respect of what you are preaching. That's one of his actors, Dylan Harris said that. The studio has grown from a handful of people in 2018 to a company that now runs three sound stages in Burbank. YouTube channel has 17.8 million subscribers. It has more than 10 billion views. The actors say that has not led to better wages or working conditions.

Oh, wow. He did a post and a lengthy statement on the company's YouTube channel saying many of the upset actors haven't worked for the company in years and they are spreading false information to hurt the studio, my family, and me. The actors who protest to say they're done with Darman, the bridge burned, their welcome is gone.

Their hope is that the studio will eventually share more of its success with the people on screen. So I think they're saying that this thing has become this mega, mega operation and that he's just like, nah. Well. Here's your five bucks. But here's how this works, okay. Yeah.

Robert De Niro brings a certain cache to a film. Brings eyeballs, brings talent, brings value. Now, I'm not a great actor, but I don't think, I mean, these guys aren't either. Do you know what I mean? I think you're being a little too soft with your language. And if you wanna say the message, you can just say it. They suck and they're not worth it.

You guys ain't shit, okay? You're a dog shit actor that couldn't get hired to do a fucking commercial for fucking Walgreens. And you're lucky to be able to sit in front of a camera anywhere. That isn't like, I mean, you're lucky if a security camera picks you up. And the fact that a guy is willing to give you 40 bucks

to do his dog shit script. You're lucky you get to pretend to be an actor for a week. Say thank you and get to stepping. Get to stepping, Gina. Yeah, I mean like guys. Thank you, Dar. Yeah. I couldn't get a job in a real show.

So I'm so happy that, you know, yeah, hashtag team Dar. All the way. And by the way, he incurred the risk. Yeah. He pays for the fucking soundstage. And by the way, rent in Burbank? Yeah. No small thing. No, no, no.

There's a reason they noted, like he's got studios in Burbank. One thing he's really gonna struggle with is finding new actors in Los Angeles that are willing to do his stuff. I mean, that guy is really gonna be like, how can I find someone to appear in these things? Every bus that stops to just unloads

these pie-eyed lunatics wanting to be actors. And here's the line you're telling them. You wanna be in Spex Appeal or you wanna be in the Darman video? Because there's other studios in the Valley, bro. Yeah. Oh, there's studies it'll pay you, about $500 more. You just gotta wear your glasses

and clean them afterwards, you know? I mean, look, I'll put it out to Darman. I'm not a great actress. Oh my God. I would love to be in your videos. What? Please do this. No, I am, I'm putting, look,

I respect what you do, Darman. I would love to be in your videos. I feel like I should jump in here and say, I am way too good of an actor to be in one of your videos. But I would love if you hired Christina. I could do that level, okay? No, I know. I could do that, let me, it doesn't, ugh.

Can you believe that? No, that's too, you're better than that. You can't, you can't purposely go bad. Okay, hey, ugh, gross, look how gross that guy is. But can you do it a little, you have to do a little more faith, yeah. Like, ugh. You're selling emotions to the kindergarteners.

I'll pretend I'm looking. There's kindergartners watching, so they don't understand what these emotions. Ew, is that enough? Ugh, that guy's gross. Ew, that guy's so ugly. I would never fuck that guy. Christina, that's a person.

Why would you say something like that? Well, he's ugly. The thing is that like, not everybody has beautiful looks, but that doesn't mean that they're not a beautiful person. Whoa, I was like, Tom really took me there, dude. I feel like a bad person now. Well, I did do a couple acting classes back in the day.

Leslie Kahn. I didn't do Leslie Kahn, I did Janet Alhante. Oh. She was fantastic. Yeah, did you see her tits? No, she was a lovely lady. She was just really, she was good, man. Yeah.

Yeah, it was fun to have her work with you, but also it was fun to watch her work with other people. You'd see how she could get it out of someone, you know? That shit's so hard. It was fun. That's so hard. It's like behavioral stuff. Yeah, yeah.

You're basically working with like a behavioral scientist. Yeah, acting is no joke. I mean, it's really hard. It looks so easy, but it's really hard. But speaking of actors, I had this revelation on where my mom's at and I like to bring it to your mom's house as well because I want to have the discussion with you

Okay. about Leonardo de Capricox. What about him? Well, that's David Tell's joke. That was fine, de Capricox. So, you know, I feel like Leo has a reputation for dating young models, right? Like 19 and then he dumps them at 25.

That's their lifespan. And then he, everybody knows, hey, 25, we're done. You're out the door. And then I pick up the next high and a lot of people criticize him for this. Now, I have a theory that it's actually the most humane thing he can do. Why?

Here's why. He likes banging young chicks. They like banging rich, successful actor, Leonardo de Caprio. World famous iconic actor. So guess what? He's like, listen, little one, I'll bang you for like five years. I'll introduce you.

Which is a good run. It's a perfect run with him. You'll go on my yachts. We'll go international travel or stay at the Ritz. And I'll introduce you to all these other rich, single, gross older guys. I'll release you back into the world when you're 25. So you're still young enough to get your meat hooks

into one of these old, disgusting rich guys. And you can still have babies and still have a life. And I think that's actually really humane of him. So instead of trashing him like a lot of people do, the real thing is that it's actually almost courteous of him to drop them when he does. He goes, you're not too old. Your ovaries aren't dried up.

Get out there. You met athletes, you met producers, you met actors, you met all these people. I'll get you in touch with them. And you can actually have a life with them. I'm going back to 19, because that pussy feels amazing to me. Yeah, I know.

See, he catches and releases these bras. He does catch and release, yeah. And I think it's super, it's super humane. Cause he is setting them up. Like none of these bras are like destitute or I'm sure they go and marry like some guiding man. Do you think he'll pull the trigger at some point? Like for instance, Clooney was like kind of the world's

most famous bachelor for years, right? Right. And date and date and date. But then he hit an age where he was like, I actually would like to settle down. See, that's the thing is that, sorry, but before I forget, it's inhumane when they hold on to the young girl

and they lie to her and be like, we're going to get one day, like they dangle that carrot and then her ovaries, like you said, dry up. And then she's not as desirable a piece of real estate. To the next guy. Right, right. And he's like, you're fucking 31.

I know. That is disgusting. Yeah, yeah. So to answer your question, how old was George Clooney when he? He was older. We'll see, you know why? That low T.

So once that T drains out of his nuts and he doesn't have the desire to fuck as hard, he's almost there. He's almost there. Yeah, he's late 40s. He's my age, isn't he? DiCaprio was when like 46, 45. Where's the meme?

Where's the DiCaprio meme? There it is, the first one. So this is his age. And then so like Giselle turned 25, dumped her. Then he went with bar. She turned 20, or she was 20 dates her, turns 25, dumped her. Blake Lively, she was just like for a minute at 23. Aaron was for a minute at 22.

Tony at 20, 21. Then this Kelly girl 25, dumps her. Nina for 24 to 25. Camilla was 20, 21. I think she actually was for longer. So this chart just shows his age escalating and then the age of the women. And he never dates older than 25.

He doesn't like it. And this meme got like some more press last year. Yeah. People were talking about it. And the girl he was with, he had been with for four years and she turned 25 and they broke up. So it is now, since 1999, he's been doing this. It's amazing.

It's actually very consistent of him. He really doesn't like older than 20. Doesn't like older? Now, Holm, do you think, you know how like there's guys that are into 15? Like that's the number like R. Kelly was. And it's not considered a pedophile. Just, if you want to get to the,

I remember this because of R. Kelly. Everybody would call R. Kelly a pedophile. And people go, well, if you want to be technical about it, there's actually a term. What's the term when you're sexually attracted to a teen in that age? It's not pedophiles. It's another term.

And I just think it's important to, what is that? Hebaphilia. Hebaphilia. Hebaphilia, uh-oh. In interest, like in pubescent, rather than adult. Yeah, so this is like, I think what they consider, like what does that dropdown say? Okay, that is it there.

Ephepophilia? Generally ages 15 to 19, so. Oh, so he's on the cusp. That's like when you're on the cusp, right? He's 19. He starts at 19, right? Leonardo. Yeah, I mean, I don't think he actually falls

into this category at all. No, he likes adult, like totally adult, fully grown woman. But I think there's, obviously there's something, there's a physical part of a 20 to 25 year old, but there's an emotional difference between a 20 and 25 year old. Vastly different.

He's like, he definitely, his heart on start. I think it has a lot to do with being a very famous person at a young age. Yeah. He completely changes your development because you, he grew up in a bubble and he also got super famous. Like he is as famous as you can get as an actor,

as an entertainer, you know? He's the most. He's number one. I would say he's the most famous actor in the world is him and it has been for a minute. And so you don't have a normal attraction to people and yeah, I think he's just been with these, others, Clare Danes.

I love Clare Danes. I just, I'm watching, Fleishman is in trouble with Clare Danes. She is phenomenal. I love her. That's good. I watched some of that with you. I fucking loved Slow Horses, which I don't remember from.

I know. That's so good. If you want to watch that, that's on Apple Plus. Look at that. It's fucking amazing. Yeah, with Gary Oldman. It is so good. It's just super entertaining.

And Kristen Scott Thomas is also so good. That's who I want to be when I get older. I want to look like that. Kristen Scott Thomas? Yeah. Wait, what are we talking about that attracted to a certain age record? Well, because it's interesting that he's very consistently

attracted to a specific, like at 25, it's considered old fruit. You remember how I said the big dicks and the muscles make somebody's eyes go like, whoa. Yeah. You get that feeling as a man, if you're in your 40s and you date a 20 year old. Everything is like.

Oh, new feeling. I think there's a addictive quality to that for him of like, what is this? Cause they're definitely experiencing it all for the first time. Well, yeah, they're like, oh my God, we have a yacht. Well, I don't know if it's quite that stupid, but I think you're just getting to impress somebody.

But if she's 38. Yeah, she's like, yeah. No, I just think she's like, this is awesome. Like I actually been here. I was here, I don't think he wants any of that. I think he wants it always all to be, oh my God. All the way. All the way, yeah.

Yeah, interesting. And also too, what you just said about him working so young. I mean, he was a child. Child actor and child star. Not just actor, but star. Yeah, so you're stunted at a certain emotional age. You don't really grow. Yeah.

Yeah, it's tough. Yeah, so Clooney got married at 53. And how old is Leo? Does he say he's 46? He's my age. I think. So 53 for Clooney to drain his nuts. He's 48, so he's a little older to me.

Later this year, he'll be 49. That's right. Yeah, he'll be 49. That's right. So that's about four years from when, what's his name? Clooney. Clooney tied it, like locked it down.

I mean, maybe. What do you think, he's gonna be like an old ass dad. He's gonna be a dad in his 50s, definitely. What about Johnny Depp? No, he got married. He got married a bunch. Yeah, he's a marrying kind. Yeah.

And he likes, yeah, he's in the drama and stuff. That's interesting. Johnny's 59, but his bracelets and his rings, they're probably a little bit older. Well, they make you look so much younger when you accessible. God, how long does it take him to walk out of the fucking house?

Hey, do you have my nine scarves? My hat, which hat? And this fucking guy. BP, your buddy. Look at him. He got married too, though, no? Yeah. He got married a few times.

Yeah, so he's a marrying kind. You just think they shouldn't be. And I like that Leonardo is like, look, I'm hot. I don't even need to work out. I'm so famous. I just want to bang, dude. I just want to bang like the hottest chicks. But you're right, when that tea starts to dip,

you just won't have the drive anymore. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. You don't have the drive. He likes hot chicks. But he also just might not be wanting to marry ever. I don't know, man. There's also something like really kind of depressing about a guy who's a bachelor forever.

I know. And then they turn like 75 and there's like, they would just have an empty house. You know, there's nobody here, you know? Can I tell you? So we were watching that show. But also you can just jump off a bridge at that point. Yeah, you can just kill yourself.

Stutz, we watched that last night. Oh, with Jonah Hill. It's really good. I love it. So it's him interviewing his therapist and his therapist is like this brilliant man, Phillip Stutz that gives you tools, not just therapy, but like these tools

to help you with life. And you know what's interesting? I didn't even tell you this, but this Stutz never had a wife and children. He himself could not master the art of relationship, marriage, commitment and children. And what I think is interesting is his whole thing was like, yeah, you just got to throw yourself into your work

and to your purpose. And I'm like, oh, that's a very male way of thinking. Yeah, it is. And once you have as a woman, you have children, your life is like, yeah, work is important. It's not my main focus. When I'm on my deathbed, I'm not gonna go, I'm sure glad I'm happy I worked a ton.

I don't fucking, it's not, it doesn't carry as much weight as like raising good people. Glad I did the Fox theater. Yeah. Toledo six sold out shows. No. You're right, it's a totally different thing. It's a different thing.

But men also find value in their work in a way that I think is different. Like women are, men kind of, most men go like, what am I worth? Not like the financials of it. What am I worth as far as what effort do I put into work? Cause if they don't work hard, men without jobs are lost men.

That's absolute truth. And they have, you can, I've met so many guys who, they are just lost, lost and a mess and like, and all they need is actually just something to work on. You know? Like purpose. Purpose, something that they can put some drive into. Doesn't matter.

I mean, you know, you need to live. But it's not like about the level of compensation. But yeah, he has, this was really good. I mean, I would, I would recommend that. Stutz, is it Stutz? Stutz, STHTZ. It is really good. And I would never watch it.

You really get insight into, cause I told you the, I watched a little bit before you. The, for me, there's this, it starts, I'm not gonna give away the whole thing, but you know, Jonah's making it about his therapist. And it's really interesting. And there's interesting things being shared. And at one point, the therapist says to Jonah,

well, like, you know, what do you think about? Like basically asks him a question to answer. And Jonah's like, well, no, this is a documentary about you. So I'm not really gonna do that. And you're like, okay. And then there's a turn where he kind of agrees to, to open up and it makes it 10 times better. I mean, the insight that he shares and you learn a lot of,

I mean, it made me, you know, like Jonah Hill, like a thousand, I really liked him, but I was just like, it's, it's really good. It makes you really, really like him. Yeah. He's very vulnerable and open and transparent and shares things that you're like, oh, wow. It's, it's, I don't want to give it away,

but it's really good. Yeah. Cause it's in the relationship that you discover things about the other person and stuff. I think that's really cool. Yeah, but he also reveals a lot of things that he was obviously in the first part of the movie, not willing.

He was like, no, and then he does. And it's, it's compelling to watch. Yeah. It was really good show. And the tools that that guy shares are tools that like anybody can apply. I know. I woke up at four in the morning

cause somebody next to me was snoring like a dog. And I thought about that movie. I was like, oh yeah, it's such an interesting thing that he talked about. Yeah. I was really, really intrigued, really good shit. You know what I mean? Yeah.

Good shit. It was all fucking deep and shit. You know what I mean? Yeah. Really cool, really cool review. You should do more movie reviews. May I pitch please? Okay.

I know it angers you, but my bladder's terrible. Go ahead. Go ahead. Hi. How was your pee? Oh my God, it's so powerful. Good. I pushed like so hard.

You remember this guy? Okay. This is the truth. This is, this is the reality of living with that fucking maniac. All that. This guy lives with, according to him, a real psycho. I guess in some type of sober living facility

or something. Right. And because that guy is such a menace to him, this guy ends up pissing in his own room in like jars and cans and stuff. It's like, it's a real bad. Yeah. So.

Like he doesn't want to leave his room. So I guess he has to, he's going to show how he has to wash his clothes to avoid them being shit on. Oh my God. Cool. Greg is the roommate's name. Fucking Greg.

Yeah. So I'm soaking my clothes. Cause I find that they're a lot dirtier than I used to. I'm soaking my clothes. I'm going to take them just into my room into those ways about 50 pounds because last time I left it in here, in this chill, Greg, we put this diarrhea

in my fucking soaking box over there. Yeah. Overnight? What? Dude, I don't know what's more alarming. I kind of want to get the full story. I feel like we're just, you know, I mean like we got to get the real story.

Can we contact this guy? I'll try. I mean, he's out of his mind. What I've put together is I think he's the bad crazy roommate. This one is? I think so. Yeah.

And he's blaming it on the other guy. Yeah, this guy's just fully out of his mind, I think. Oh, okay. Now that checks out too. Yeah. I mean, that's why I kind of wanted to hear what the story was or like his version of the story. And then it'd be fun to hear

the other guy's version of the story. I'll try to reach out. Yeah. And he wrote Greg Sims, like he put the guy's name in this video. He really hates Greg. He really hates Greg. He does.

Fuck. But I didn't really like, I mean, Greg looked, you know, just like a wacky roommate cooking in that one. He didn't really seem like he was doing anything crazy, right? No, I can't find any of him doing anything crazy. Oh.

Hmm. Yeah. Interesting. I had like some type of psychological break. Yeah. I think so. And he's blaming Greg Sims. Diarrhea in my clothes is like.

It's a lot. And also like, at your brokest, at your brokest, if some guy diaried in your clothing, would you be rinsing it? Or we'd just be like, that's a loss, dude. I'm going to Target and I'm buying a new shirt. Yeah, that's, you just let that go.

Yeah. You let it go. That is, this is kind of fascinating. I do want to, I want more intel. Okay. I think my absolute favorite all-time lane of video that I've ever had on your mom's, I mean, it's always something to do with somebody's suffering,

but I want them to feel something, be in, you know, just show me that it hurts. Yeah. It doesn't have to be gory. And I think there's nothing that really does that, quite like chiropractic adjustments, you know? Oh, I'm down, oh my God. Oh.

Yeah, that takes your breath away. God. Oh, that takes your breath away. Oh, it sure does. Oh, goodness. Oh, boy. She's sweating. Oh, my goodness.

That takes your breath away. You keep saying it. That's a shocker, Jesus. Did you feel that ball crash? Yeah. That's what I'm saying? Yeah. What's a shocker?

I heard it. Did you? Oh, yeah. Oh, that's a shocker. I want to know, is this actually good for you? Every time I see this, I'm like, holy shit. Well, I don't think it's supposed to hurt when they do it.

It looked like it hurts worse than it did. She's more like also shocked by it. Like she's like, wow. But you don't see her being like, that loosened things up. No, but she's also like, didn't expect, I mean, she thought her head was gonna come off of her fucking neck.

So she's also thankful that she's alive right now. So that's kind of what you're seeing. Isn't it crazy that they trust these non-doctors to like crack you? He's a non, they're non-doctors, right? Well. They go to like a different school, but they're not MDs. They're not MDs, they're not MDs.

They're still, I mean, you're really playing with fire here. A lot of them, I think they've earned their title. Some people are just like, these are fucking, what's it called? Like snake oil salesmen. And there probably are some slimy ones, just like they're slimy everything. Some of them really do, they really do help people.

Are people swear by their chiro? Of course, yeah. What the hell does that mean? What is a chiropractic ringdinger? That's what it's called? Yeah. Manual spinal neural decompression, also known as the ringdinger is a highly specialized method

for relieving pressure on the spinal column by stretching the spine along the Y axis straight up to the patient's head. And then what happens the thing above it? Carefully stretching spine and correcting it to take the pressure off the pinched nerves and herniated bulging or spinal, which are gel-like cushions between the bones.

Okay. That's what they're actually doing to them. Yeah, but look, people, when the guy goes, I'm Dr. So-and-so, they're like, oh, what's your field? And they go chiropractic, everyone's like, okay. Yeah. Look, I don't know.

That didn't look very good though. That looked terrifying. It always looks terrifying. Can I see it again? Yeah, sure. I'm so scared for it. This is her after, just see. Oh.

That's pretty good, Jay. Does it breathe better? Yeah, that's pretty good. Still kicking too, see, all right? Yeah, that's pretty good. That's pretty good. Yeah. That's pretty good.

How does it feel? That feels good. It feels good, okay. Why does she know like four words? See, I took your breath away, I took your breath away. I really took your breath away. I took your breath away. It feels pretty good.

I feel pretty good. I feel pretty good. Did you fucking just learn English? Why are you only saying four things? She's a shock. I mean. That takes your breath away. Oh my God.

That's the best part. I'm so good at that. Yeah. God damn. There we go. Oh my God. Oh, God. Yeah, that takes your breath away.

God. Oh, that takes your breath away. We got it. Oh goodness. I got a bad bite. Yeah, that is a bad bite. Oh my God, that takes your breath away. This poor woman.

Yeah. Goodness. I pray I never have to have that done to me. That was terrifying. Yeah. Fuck man. Poor woman. Yeah.

Yeah. I don't like that at all, Tommy. You watch these just for fun still, yeah? Yeah. Thank you for watching. I kind of got away from them. I'm glad you reminded me to bring them back. They really do make me happy.

I feel for me it's like the anxious anticipation, the build up, and then the crunch, and you're like, oh. Yeah, sometimes they're really satisfying to watch. Yeah. Yeah. I like that one take talk I saw where the guy had the hump in his neck

and the guy took a hammer. That is the best. Yeah. And then you see the guy who gets the head going, ah, ah, ah. And you're like, is this actually medically, is that actually real therapy? Like, is that medically approved?

I can't be. I mean, you see a guy with a fucking, like a really, it seems like a medieval hammer. Yeah. And then like the huge metal nail, and he's like, ah, the guy's like, ah. He's like, now you'll be better now. I know.

And these poor people, you're so vulnerable, you just want to not be in pain anymore. Yeah, of course. You're so desperate. Of course. Oh my God. Yeah, this is. It sucks so bad, dude.

Oh my God. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know when time in the chiropractor we saw did this like electrode shit on my shoulders to try to get those muscles to release. Yeah. You're just like, and I was like, I don't like doing this at all.

That guy was so entertaining. I was like, no more, no more. I wish that guy lived nearby, but I love just spending time with him. How crazy he was. Yeah, he was a crazy guy. He loved his dogs a lot, and I always respect people that like worship their dogs.

Yeah, he was good. He's a good person. Good dog dad. That's true. He wasn't a horrible guy. Uh-uh. Oh man. Let's see.

He's a good dude. Do you want to see more barista I love yous? Fuck yeah, dude. Thank you much, man. I appreciate it. Have a good rest of your day. Thanks, love you. Ha ha ha.

Ha ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha ha. That's the best part. He's like a dude. Yeah, Dylan.

Thanks, Dylan. It feels so good. Yep, one sausage egg McMuffin. Okay. And then two hash browns. Okay. And that is it. Okay.

Okay. So $17.30, thank you. Okay, thank you, love you. I gotta give credit to Dylan or to Skylar, to Tyler here. You know why? What? He's fully stopped and clearly, some people are doing the drive away, love you, love you.

Yeah, yeah. He's like, okay, thanks. I love you. Ha ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha ha. Thanks. I love you.

Ha ha ha ha. I mean, that's really how you're supposed to do it. Yeah. I mean it. Yeah, you're supposed to mean it. Ha ha ha ha. Good. That everything?

Yeah. Thanks, love you. Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Oh, it was good when she looked back like. Oh my God, that's Opie from Erie, Pennsylvania. One of the worst places in the world. But he got a good reaction where she did the full.

Yeah, she's like, what? What was that? God, you know what'd be great is if mommies could hit up one location enough times that people are like, God, what is this? Nice everybody saying this here. Ha ha ha ha. I have a new turn in for you.

Hello, can I get a 24 ounce hot americano with light cream? Hot americano with light cream? Yep, and a bag of Sumatra whole beans. Sumatra whole beans? And I think that's it. Okay, I will see you up here. All right, thank you. I love you.

I love you too. Ah! Oh, no way! We haven't had one of those. That was rad. That is awesome. That was awesome. I love you too, Brian.

I haven't seen one of those yet. Me neither. And I certainly haven't heard one. No. Cause I was saying it for a minute and they're always like, yeah. But he said it very clearly. Like you said.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love you and she acknowledged it and answered. Yeah, I think that's it. Okay, I will see you up here. All right, thank you. I love you. I love you too. Oh!

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. I mean, what's better than spreading love in the world? No, it's all good. It's all good. You're spreading love. Yeah, there's nothing wrong with this campaign at all. Yeah, that was fucking awesome. Yeah, I love doing this shit, dude.

There's nothing better. Yeah, there's a couple of things here that are specifically pulled for you. Pacific. Pacificly. Oh, cool. I can't wait. Is it as good as Allie McObskating or Boogers?

Oh my God, don't. What? Yeah, these guys are rad. Run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run. Back on, 20, 20, three, two, one, run, run, run. We got it, back, wee. Back on, 20, 20, three, dotting. Two, one, go.

Back on. That was a really good video. I actually was a good video. Yeah, they did a good job. They all remembered their parts this time around and DragCon 2023. I thought he was going to get stuck on 2020 and then he pulled it in at the end

because he was like 2020. Three, and I'm like, dude, good, because I forget it's 2023 a lot too. I think you should be applauded for just remaining humane during a video like this, you know? Me in particular. You in particular. Or just the collective.

Yeah, yeah. This one. It was good. Drag Central, for those who aren't watching, they are the mentally challenged people that dress in drag, which, you know, it's interesting. Here is a. It's interesting.

A person who's on TikTok. This person had a job at, of all places, you'll never believe where this person had a job. They had it at a certain coffee, very popular coffee place. Okay. Well, hey, I'll just show you and then we talk about it.

Sure. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Oh my God. All right, it's time to address the nose ring drama. So if you haven't seen my latest video where I made this new nose ring right here, people are essentially calling me every name under the sun because I had the rice add-on on my jacket.

So I need to tell you guys a little something about me and you can call me crazy, you can call me whatever you'd like, any name under the sun. But I'm very in tune with my past and my past lives and lifetimes that I've lived before this one. My last life just so happened to be a very infamous one. Pretty cool, right? Can you guess?

Yeah, Charlie Chaplin, the very funny actor who really kind of was a trendsetter here in the United States and in filmmaking and kind of helped make the export of entertainment a huge American iconic thing that still exists today. Me offing myself was one of the first memories I had from that lifetime. It came to me when I was five in my nightmares.

You can see right where I shot myself too. That and just so many other things throughout my life have connected me to my past. And you can go say, oh, go get on your meds again, you nutter. I've been on so many meds and none of them have changed what I saw when I was five. But you know what's really cool is that your mom's house, we've been looking for this person

since our first Daniac video. Oh, yeah. And we've been wondering what, if he would ever answer Daniac's vlogs. Hey, Hitler. And now we know where the furor is. Yeah. This is amazing, reincarnated.

Pretty cool. So this individual though was a barista at Starbucks. Cool. The account has been deleted and they lost their job at Starbucks. Starbucks, I feel like they cut you a lot of slack though. Yeah. They really let you push the fucking envelope there.

They do, like our local baristas, they're allowed to wear cat ears and... Well, I'm talking about everywhere nationwide. I mean, I'm in different cities all the time. Right after I come, I always just go to Starbucks. And you always see, like I'm saying, it's a very queer friendly institution. Like they really encourage individuality.

People can wear their sexuality and their gender literally on their sleeve. And so it's a very inclusive environment, I feel like that. You know, I have to tell you, Tom, when I was a barista in the summer of 1997, 1998, it was strict uniform. You had to have the khakis, the black shirt, the apron.

And at one point they wanted to institute a hair net, at which point I would have quit. Now, they did not allow you that much flair back then. Things have changed. I would go as far to say that if you are queer and you're like, where can I get hired? I'm gonna go ahead and just say, you need to go to Starbucks, honestly.

They have great benefits, it's a great place to work. It's a great place to work. And you can be yourself there. I mean, I'm telling you, I've traveled this country extensively and I'm in them all the time. And people are themselves and they get to really embrace their personal identity.

And it's usually celebrated out of Starbucks. I think you really gotta do something crazy, like think that you're Hitler for Starbucks to go like, that might be over the line for us. I know, you know what's so impressive about this lady? I think it's a lady. Is it a lady or a dude? I don't know.

But she knew the name of the patch. She's like the Rizaz or whatever, like I don't even know. I had the Rizaz on my jacket. I don't even know what that is, bro. You do. You gotta be deep into it. So maybe this person really is Hitler. Well, they said that the scar on their heads

from when they committed suicide in 1945, I believe. Look at those pupils, so dilated. Yeah, I bet it's not the most pleasant experience to buy a coffee from this person. Yeah. Yeah, that's not exactly- I don't know, I mean- The Rizaz, though.

The accent, too. The Rizaz. He didn't stammer through it, you know? The Rizaz. The Rizaz. The Rizaz. Rizaz. Yeah.

Rizaz. Rizaz. Here's the deal, man. Is that- I had it on my jacket. Had it on to my sleeve. Here's the thing, is that I love weirdos. I go to specific places in Austin

just to be served by weirdos. Yeah, no, you've made this quite clear. I'm just saying that Starbucks may have made a big, this is not good. This is a mistake. I would go to Starbucks just to have the furor serve me a coffee. I think it'd be really funny

to have her call out your name and stuff. Okay, all right. You don't think it'd be funny to have a person who thinks they're Hitler making your coffee? Of course it would be somewhat funny. But I also feel like if it was your daily spot, like this would be like a fun one-off.

You wouldn't believe what happened today. But if you were daily going there and dealing with this person's shit, it might wear on you. That's true, cause she might, or they might not serve all types of people. And then you go like, hey, what's going on? They're like, just looking at this Jew behind you.

And you're like. You're like, thanks, Hitler barista. The Hitler barista. They had soup knots. They're kind of ruining my experience here. And he's like, well, you're ruining mine by bringing them here. And you're like, okay.

It could be a little uncomfortable. All right, Gene, here's your some talks you have here. Yes. Fucking hey, man. Here we go. It's part of the day. Here we go. I think she said your name in there.

She's like, Tom Segura? Yeah. She's your fan. She did. She's a huge fan. This is a pretty, I mean, it's remarkable. I've seen some people like with this in life, which I have no hands. Just no hands.

She's at a diner. It's not the best place to record video, obviously, because it's loud. But she's stirring a cup of coffee with her foot and then is gesturing and like doing this with her foot. As she talks about basically, don't ever give opportunity to somebody who is jealous, insecure, toxic, treats you bad.

Because what they'll end up doing is treating you that way. So look for somebody that has an open heart and freedom to love and it's full of love. Oh, I like that. So it's like this playful thing that she does. And they're obviously showing the fact that she can do all these things. This woman goes through life without an insecurity.

Well, she doesn't show it, obviously, but it's pretty fucking crazy. It's pretty cool, right? I thought, I mean, it was pretty neat to see her gesture with her foot. I've never seen anybody use it as a hand. And I think, that was pretty cool. Like a lot of people watching this,

you go, those things could make me come so fucking hard. Yeah. Like if she can pick up a cup of coffee like that, you imagine what she can do to it. There you go. That's why I pulled it for you. A nice guy who treats her well. Okay, give me her information.

Okay, Tom, God. She's got a really pretty face. Babe. Hey, go. Babe. My name is Vines. Vines, plural. And I'm an old goth.

I'll leave you to guess how old I am. But I'm here. 41, 42. I picked you. So. To be my mortal partner, I'm gonna keep you. Of your friends.

So she's actually playing the part of a vampire. Maybe forever. And she's enchanting a mortal. Is she enchanting you? Maybe just until I get bored with you. I would rather spend every waking moment with sweet Latin foot lady than even five minutes with Vines.

You're not enchanted? Oh my God, I thought the video was still going. I've been practicing on you, ready? Just so you know, this shuts me the fuck down. I mean, there's not even one part of this that I like. Gosh, you're so close-minded. So hateful. I'm ending my non-monogamous relationship.

What? To hear me out. I'm not having a break up with my main partner. Oh. We're still together. Back to the non-monogamous life. I'm not getting to it. As many of you know, my partner and I

have been trying to call you Emery for about the last seven, eight months. And we have officially decided to go back to being exclusive with each other in most cases. I wanna have this conversation because I don't think a lot of people have this conversation, but I do think it happens in relationships. But if people don't talk about it,

people don't feel comfortable talking about it. It's a cycle, right? But I'm here to talk about why we entered the relationship, why we are closing the relationship, and see the lessons behind the process that we are going to take with us. Good.

Good, good. Jesus Christ. We're gonna need coffee for this. Oh no, no. How long is this fucking saying that? Okay, let's stop. My relationship has been going on in total with my person cadence for about five years.

And when... Okay, I just found the person that I just like more than Vines. I'd fucking rather hang out with Vines for eternity. Then just Dairy Queen lady. Jesus Christ. I mean, how neurotic. How fucking...

How much do you have to think about your relationships and who you're banging? Like the amount of attention given to it, the emotional exhaustion, I just can't take it. These people live for drama. You know what? I think they're all just drama queens, these polyamory people.

He says, terrible, this looks terrible. Look at her. God. It always upsets me that they're not hotter too. Oh no. No. No. No.

You know what I would love to do? I think about this a lot. I would love to be in a room with one of these people and see any in the room too. Cause I just feel like it would be so fun to watch him shit in person without control of his bowels as he's like, okay, sit here man. And then you hear like,

bruh. Bruh. I think he would shit his pants. To see that thing. Wouldn't you freak out? Would I freak out if there was a fucking Liger next to me? Yeah. Yes, I would freak out.

Yeah, I know. But you'd freak out in the best way. Like we'd all freak out, but I think you'd have the best freak out. Yeah. You'd be like, oh fuck no, I'm not doing this thing. I'd be scared, I'd be mad. Dude, you know what they're doing?

There's like another fucking tiger in there. They're so big. They're playing. They're playing the way like house cats do. That's what that was. Like a play moment. And homeboys lounging. He's like, come on, come get him a check.

Like get out of here man. Why is this is like a, this feels like it's always happening in the same region. It's always these Arab dudes. Yeah, it's like Middle Eastern thing. I feel like it's just a flex, right? It's just a flex. For sure, dude.

He's like, I got my flat screen TV. Yeah. I got my two Ligers. I have my Richard Mill watch. I have Rolls Royce Tigers in the house. And you're like, huh, what? You got what in the house? Yeah.

Notice there's not a lot of women ever in these videos. This is a bachelor thing. Fuck no. No woman is like, yeah, yeah. I knew your two fucking Ligers with the kids. No way. So I saw this girl's video the other day about how much wax are on these apples.

And as someone who eats fucking a lot of apples because I fucking love apples. I was kind of like disgusted by it. Like I always knew that they were like waxy and I always wash them. But I saw this thing and it was crazy. So I was just thinking about it this morning when I went and got my apple.

So I was going to try it. So I got my, it's a cosmic crisp apple. They're fricking delicious. And I got my exacto knife. And I'm going to see if the wax really scrapes off. Like, oh, oh yeah. It's, hold, can you see that? Look at that.

Ugh. Ooh. Yeah. I didn't know that. Did you know that? Wow. I was heard the waxing. I didn't know it was like, I didn't know it was like this.

Neither did I. Wow. Ugh. Wow. Yup. I'm ingesting that. Yeah, why are we ingesting? Multiple times.

Just for the appearance of them? I am assuming. Kind of ridiculous. Like, I don't need shiny apples. I don't care. Wow, and this is one apple. I feed my kids these apples. Like I said, I knew.

I knew apples were wax. Like, I knew it. But I guess I never realized Google or shit. Okay. Little boost out, little. So, every once in a while you do it, worthwhile, informative talk. Yeah.

Okay, the primary reasons for waxing are to prevent water loss, making up for the removal and washing of the natural waxes and fruits that have them, particularly siltrous, but also, for example, apples, and thus slow the shrinkage and spoilage and to improve appearance. I always thought it was appearance only

that was the reason. Same. That it actually has the function that it would help retain water and prevent spoilage quicker. But it says here, the fruit is coated with a layer of natural wax. So, why do we need to further wax these apples?

Well, here's this. After apples are picked, they are washed before they appear in the supermarket to remove dirt and chemical residues. This process also removes the wax that must be the natural wax. Since the waxy layer prevents moisture in the apple from escaping,

which is the same thing, it's law shortens the storage time for the fruit. Producers, therefore, spray them with a thin layer of wax to prevent such moisture loss as well as to make the apple look more appealing. So, it does have the aesthetic. Yes. In own quality.

And to save it from spoiling. All right. But can you ingest this stuff? Well, clearly you can. We've been eating apples for fucking ever, so. Well, I want to clean up my apples. But it is, what she's showing you that way, that is gross.

Seeing it like that, it's like. Ugh. Well, so we're doing Christmas pictures with my polycule and we're doing Adam's family. So. You ready? Most of these hot Adam's family. Ugh.

Ugh. Oh, God. Ha ha ha. Were they hot? Her polycule. Let's go to the next one. Sure. Eats.

Oh, no. Ugh. These are like three or four. Lions taking down a giraffe. Jesus Christ. I mean, the thing that stands out the most for me, I watch, I follow a lot of nature accounts, you know? I think most people don't realize

how fucking incredibly massive and strong a giraffe is. You know, like you go to the zoo, you've gone to the zoo and seen a giraffe up close and you're like, holy shit. Because you always think of them from photos or like kids books. Oh yeah, the long neck and you're like, look at this. There's, he's dragging four lions.

Oh yeah, they're very muscular. They must be, that neck is all muscle. Well, that's how they kill. They kill, they swing their neck at people and kill them. Yeah. And other animals, yeah. I'm wondering what the initial injury was.

Like, does one fucking lion, I always get lions and tigers mixed up like an idiot. Really? Yeah, tigers are stripy, right? Yeah. I don't know why. Stripes run a tiger. And then cheetah is spots.

Right. Okay, and then those are lions. But then a lion can also have a big bushy mane. That's the male lion. The male lion. So these are females hunting right now. Females usually do the hunting, yeah. Okay, so my thought is like,

did that bitch like first jump up on that giraffe and then like give the first bite? And then the other do or like- Probably not. Probably they were at the leg, hindering its galloping away. And then another one grabbed the other leg and then that third one probably jumped up on its back

because it's trying to snap its spinal cord. Damn. That's what it's trying to do. They're used to a smaller prey where that does, what actually the, it's fixated, you know? So they either break the spinal column, like the neck, or they just choke them out. But this animal is so big that it's probably just

trying to do something to the neck. So that, cause they know that the neck instinctively, they can kill some of them. You really have been looking at a lot of Instagram nature. Yeah, yeah. And then, you know, the whole pride's here. So they're gonna wear this motherfucker out. Yeah.

And it probably got separated, you know, the drafted. So that's what they do. They go after old, young, sick, or alone, you know? That's what animals in the wild do. So this one was probably with a whole group, got away, and then they're like, let's go eat this motherfucker. Yeah.

Damn, dude. Pretty cool. And yeah, those aren't tigers. I know. I always have to stop myself and be like, is that a tiger or a lion? Yeah, I don't hear, I feel like I didn't learn properly when I was a kid, the distinction between the two.

And then because the male lion has a mane, I get it confused. I don't know. I don't know my differences. Like, I'm a fucking idiot. I mean. I should know these things and I just don't. Top Dog loved nature stuff.

So I feel like I watched a thousand nature docs as a kid. I mean, we always had to, you know, it used to be a thing that they would release a series, like a nature series. You know what I mean? Yes. I forget the names of them. Like the wild.

Yeah, yeah, but it would be a. The wild kingdom or something. And there would be commercials for them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And we would get those. We had all of them. The first it was VHS tapes of like, this is the whole, then DVDs came out and he always,

like we always had those. That's cool as shit. Like the 10, you know what I mean? Like the 10 disc series of like, this is the mountains thing. This one's about these animals. So we just were always watching. We got to watch that.

Let's do it this weekend. Yeah. The latest one is something this, it's, I forget this, like what it's called, the perfect, something world or this something earth. And it used to be Attenborough, but I feel like there's another person that narrates now. Cause he's like a fucking 150.

What are the ones? Our planet, that might be the big one. Our living world. Yeah. Those are, those are phenomenal, man. They really are so good. They're so good. Nice.

And I follow, of course, the nature is metal account. That's where you get a lot of good stuff. Nature is metal. Nature's metal shows you what you wish the documentaries were. So it's like, oh, look at these hyenas disembowel this pregnant fucking. I want to see.

Can we look? I want to see it right now. Crazy. Really, you've never followed nature's metal? Oh my God. Well, what have I been, I've been looking at weirdos on TikTok. I've been watching vampires and chanting.

Nature's metal Instagram. There's a few, but his is definitely the best. I follow a few of them. There's no comparison. His is the shit. Yeah. I mean, it's a great name for an account.

Yeah. It actually shows you. So what's that? Is that a cheetah? It looks like a cheetah. Yeah. He's running. Now these motherfuckers can hit 70 miles an hour.

That is wild. In a spurt, you know. Fucking a bro. Not continuously, but. 70 miles per hour. How fast can people run? Not that fast. No.

Did you really just ask, can people run 70? No. I feel like I've seen people run super fast. You have, but they weren't going 70. Oh, damn, it was an orca. Fucking shit up. Yeah. Don't play the, I want to see like one clip.

Yeah. I mean, they. Dang. I like watching orcas fuck shit up. Look at this. Those porcupine. That porcupine must have had. Basically the theory that,

I remember seeing that one, that that meerkat probably burrowed into a hole and there was a porcupine in there. Cause it's just showing you like, this is the reality. Yeah. Of nature. They just brutal, dude.

Yeah. Fucking brutal. What's going to happen? No, no, no. Don't eat the baby. Don't eat the baby. Maybe it's. Okay.

Stork mom makes a judgment call. That's what I'm hearing. Okay. Yeah. So she's protecting. Not necessarily. Oh, she's getting rid of. Oh no.

It's killing one so that the other ones get. Oh no. So it threw it out of there. So it's like you're, we don't have enough food for you. Oh fuck. Yeah. There's a lot of that.

There's a lot of. Maybe I can't get into that. Okay. This I can get into like eating stuff. Oh yeah. Killing stuff. Yeah. Oh, that's cool. I also don't know the difference

between crocodiles and alligators. That's a crocodile, right? Yeah. It's in Africa. Yeah. Crocs have different bites. Also they're bigger than gators. Yeah. You can, a lot of times you can tell by the,

the way the jaw looks, but what the fuck are they eating there? It looks like another dead croc. Yeah, it could be. Dang, I didn't know they eat their own. That's pretty gnarly. Yeah. It looks like it might be a hippo carcass it says.

Ugh. Yeah. It's rad. If you don't follow nature as metal, get on board. But not if you have a weak stomach. Oh shit, they got a stupid little mouse. Yeah. Oh, this is so cute.

And then let's watch it get eaten by something. Yeah. Yeah. You see some really gnarly shit on this. Oh, I thought it was gonna get run over. You did? It just got eaten. Oh shit, that hawk just took it.

Yeah. Oh fuck. So fast. So fast. And everybody there cried for the whole fucking rest of the day. Yeah, they're like playing with that cute little mouse. There's one that shows a bear in the backyard

killing a deer and the deer screams like a human. Is this it? This is it? No, this isn't it. The deer screams, the deer is like, like that. Like it's a human scream.

And then the people are recorded. They're like, call 911, like you don't know what to do. They're so scared. Call 911. Yeah, like what are you gonna tell them? There's a bear eating a deer. Do mouth to mouth. Yeah.

Call the amber lamps. It's fucking so crazy. Oh fuck. That might be it. I don't know if that is that it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. It's like a person. Help. Yeah. Help. Oh my God. My phone's not working. What are you gonna do?

Wait, don't get your phone to the top of your head. Ah! Horrible or hilarious. It's horrible. It's both. It's both. Dude, look at that bear. Yeah.

I mean, this is the reality of nature. Yeah, I don't know. He's like, hey! Hey! Stop it! Hey! Knock it off! Hey!

He's like, get off of him. Get off of him. Good luck. There's a longer version of that video. Good luck. I don't know what to do. I'm trying to help him. What are you talking about?

Get the hose. I don't know. Get the hose down the bear. It shouldn't gonna do anything. All right, we gotta run. Stay the fuck away is what I would do. Definitely stay away. And don't think you can stop a bear from eating.

It's praying. Fucking psycho. We'll see you guys next week. Love you. Bye. It's not always the physically strongest who wins the battle, and it's not always the fastest or the smartest. Sometimes it's the person with the most stand-up up.

Sometimes it's the person winning a battle. Part of it is to get your rest and get your energy and your stand-up up going before you enter the ring. The ring called real life. It's the person with the most stand-up up. It's the person with the most stand-up up. It's the person with the most stand-up up. It's the person with the most stand-up up.

It's the person with the most stand-up up. It's the person with the most stand-up up. You're not going in real life if your stand-up is so low. That's why rest is important. So if you want to feel like taking a nap, you should take a nap.