Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - Joining Jackass w/ Rachel Wolfson | Your Mom's House Ep. 714

Episode Date: June 28, 2023

SPONSORS:-Go to https://Saatva.com/theshit to get $200 off ANY mattress of your choice.OH THAT’S GONNA BE GOOD! On this week’s episode of YMH, Tom and Christina call Charo and surprise her with a trip to Israel to check out JC’s old stomping grounds. They read a follow up email about the coolest “Humans of New York” guy, which leads them to discover that a Canadian politician ran for office preaching about semen retention. They watch videos of the “Rub Rub Rub” guy and a cool new “P*ssy Worship” guy.Rachel Wolfson is a comedian and cast member of Jackass. She joins the Main Mommies to discuss joining the Jackass crew, movies today, and of course to meet some cool guys. She is introduced to Leo, watches some “Horrible or Hilarious” clips, CP’s TikToks, and a very cool horse video. She wraps up by showing them her Instagram page Wolfie DMs which features the coolest Instagram messages she gets.https://tomsegura.com/tourhttps://christinaponline.com/tour-dateshttps://store.ymhstudios.com/https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast

Welcome to another episode. A first date with me is your host Lauren Compton. Find out what it's like to date the person in the hot seat. As long as they have good feet. That's a red flag. My guest is Danny Brown, Tom Sagarab. I'll split your hand for a night. Do you get jealous easily?

How do you feel about open relationships? Do you have a sex playlist? Just put on like some Bjork. That's a good one. And she goes, I was offering myself to you and I was like, what? New episodes every Tuesday. Rate, comment and subscribe. Anywhere you listen to podcasts. This week on your mom's house, I just want to see the face of whatever that is attached to you. Oh, how's that? Is that better? It says like eat people the way you want to be

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I'll just leave it there. Oh wow, okay. It wasn't a cool thing Welcome to that episode of your mom's house. It's a great day I spoke to charo this morning. Yeah, really yeah, I did how that go it was interesting. She told me about all the the trips that she needs coming up. She's like, I'm going to see you in August. I'm going to talk to Christina. This is why she thinks I'm always.

And then she goes, because you say that kind of stuff. And Vegas, you're taking me to Vegas. And I was like, yeah. And then she goes, and then name, what are we doing for Christmas? And I go, well, we have to go somewhere the day after Christmas. And she's like, you know,

I might not be here much longer. I go, you keep saying that and you keep disappointing us. So then she's like, well, you know, I go look, I said, you can come for Christmas, but just know that we're leaving the 26th. Yeah. The morning and all that means is you got to leave the 26th in the morning. And she was like, okay, and I go, well, you know, I have a surprise for you. And I haven't told her this yet. And I can, I can say it here because I'll, I'll be able to tell her, maybe I don't know, maybe we call her and tell her, but, I can say it here, because I'll be able to tell her, maybe we call her and tell her, but.

Can we call her and tell her? I guess we could call her and tell her. I'm sending her to Israel. I'm sending her to Israel with her brother. Seriously? Yeah. Is her brother, Armando? Abel body, to the smart.

Okay. Well, I mean, I figure, she needs help. If she's gonna get lost there, get lost with somebody you know, you know, I mean like I figure she needs help if she's gonna get lost there, you know, get lost with somebody You know, you know, I mean so it's a huge trip that his real sounds mean as for JC used to kick it So I figured she'd kind of like that, you know him and the boys used to get down I didn't go some of the clubs he used to go to and yeah, I figured she'd like that. She might pass for a J.E. Dubs too He's oh by the way, you know what else she said?

She goes, when I come back on your podcast, everybody's going to be impressed and they're not going to say that I look like Big Bird's mom. That's really funny. She said she's gonna, whoever was gonna be like, wow, she looks great. Yeah.

Is she gonna get teeth put in like we've been wanting her to do? We've been wanting her to get a set of veneers forever. Just big white, white, white chompers and big fake tits too. Should I try calling her? Yeah. Nobody try calling her? Yeah. Why don't we play, I don't know.

What? We could play the intro. The intro first. Okay, here we go. Hold on. Hold on. Hey. Here you go.

That was right. That was right. That was right. You stick it in the mommy crack. Stick it in the mommy crack and open it up from side to side and then scratch it inside Go ahead. This is good. Do mommy Like that? No! Này miao, miao miao, miao miao Wow, let's see here. Can I call this fucking broad?

Hold on a second. Alright, I have a little trouble with the computer. So I'm gonna try calling her on the phone here. Let's see what she, if she answers. A-no. I can't believe you're calling me. She's gonna call to you. I thought you were this morning. Oh, okay, right, right. Give me a second to the man.

Okay. And she's like looking for her phone. She has her other watch. No, she's like, I'm on my watch. I'm on my watch. I'm on my watch. He's a hotline I'm looking for my phone. Hello, is this Big Bird's mom?

What was the question? Is this Big Bird's mom? Don't remind me of that one. Ha ha ha ha. Look, I'm doing the palm cast right now. Is this big birds mom? Don't remind me of that one. Look, I'm doing the palm cast right now. And I told everybody that when you come back here, you're going to blow everybody away. They're going to be like, wow. Yeah.

And you're going to pay for the surgery, right? Which surgery? I'm not doing it. Not surgery. Lift. What was I saying? Come with a lift. You're going to face lifts or was I saying? Come with a say says lift, you're gonna get a face lift or an eye lift,

tip lift, no, no, tip. It's not Botox is the other thing. It's not Botox is the other thing. Filler, filler. Filler, filler. Very excited. Everyone's really excited.

Everyone I run into, they're like, hey, is your mom getting that filler? They're all excited. So, I have a surprise. Okay, so here's the thing. You're going to come to Austin in September instead of August. Because we get back and then the kids start school. I think it's better to let them start school for a minute before you're in everyone's

visiting the house. And I understand that the times that you don't have to see me that's on the longer the way the better it's going to be. Okay, passive aggressive, perfect. Then abandonment. November is, um, thanksgiving. And we're going to go to visit you guys. Yes, I'm excited.

December, where are you right now? Are you at a bingo hall? I'm lining Marshall. Well, you're in line in Marshalls. December, you can come, but you you guys will have to depart the 26 because we do, okay? Yes, I know. Okay. If you think convenient for you to me, you don't worry. Okay, think of me. And then the other thing is my surprise for you is I'm going to send you and your brother out of Mundo to Israel. What? Yeah, so you guys will go in either September or October. I'm just getting the details now.

Are you kidding me? Yeah, that's where JC used to hang out. So I figured you'd want to check that out. Oh my God. I am shaking here. I pray all never cross my mind. I do know if I die there, I couldn't die in a little place. Well, that's the plan.

So, oh my God, thank you so, so, so, so, so, so much. You're very welcome. Just so, so, so much. You're very welcome. Just so you know. I know. I'm under no. Well, we talked about it. We talked about it when I was there. And then I haven't, don't call him yet

because I haven't like cleared the dates with him yet. So I'll tell him separately. But he, yeah, he knows that this was part of the plan. Wow. So, ohav, who is also Israeli, has a bunch of tips for you for when you go. First of all, you know how you love to, you know how you love to haggle and tell people that you're not going to pay full price. Yes. They love that. So you'll be good at that.

You'll be good there on that. You can haggle with all the people that are trying to sell you something. Oh my gosh, Tom, this is the most exciting scene in the world. People aren't mad at you. That's just how they talk. Just remember that. That's okay. They are going to be relaxing on mad at them.

They are meder. I just have a white talk. That's true. You're actually good at that. And then I'm good at that. I'm meditating. So I think your personality will work really well there. I'm so excited. Stay excited. Also, there's bombs sometimes, but that, you know, like I said, even if one kind of takes you guys out, there's no better place to go out. That's true. I'm not a skater of the Bumps there. Good. There's going to be sirens. I think it's a good way to say goodbye to me. You have a few podcasts after that.

Yeah. Yeah. And guess what? I had a huge surprise for my man. Unfortunately, she died. But she was happy. Most of Jesus. Exactly. I can see all that happening. So I want to realize. She was happy. Close to Jesus. I can see all that happening. So I want to realize the whole thing now. Now you're not coming in no goes.

I'm not coming in no go. But I will come in September. Yeah. Can you say it with excitement please? But that time I'm on the look of November. You will come in September and we are so excited. I don't blame you. It's my birthday time anyway. Okay. Okay. The other thing is you do I take it, go to Don Barre, or do I take it? Just tell me how to take it. Don't present it like you can come if you want.

That never invites anyone. Is she home? Cashier number one. So it was great. It was a great chat. We got to get going, but we love you. And I'll call you with all the Israel details soon, okay? Yeah, we didn't mean it. Yeah, I'm going to be guys and you're telling you when oh yeah, yeah, just pick a weekend

I'll send you to Vegas too. Okay, I love you I love you too. I miss you, okay? Okay, nice to see you. Okay, bye mom. Well, hopefully this will be your last year, and we don't have to do this anymore. Um. Um. You just filled our heart with so much Jesus joy, babe.

Yeah. Yeah, this is the stupidest question anyone's ever asked. Yeah. But like in Israel,, they have Jesus stuff. Can you see where he was born and the manger? Did he kick it in and stuff? Yeah, there's J stuff, there's C stuff, there's M stuff, there's something for everyone.

They all live together there. In perfect harmony. Wait, but what can I see of J? J, Jesus, Jesus. Like hold up. What kind of cool stuff can she see about Jesus? Oh, man. Prepping her.

No, no, there's a bunch of cool stuff. He's born in there and then he dies there. Yeah, I mean, he used to kick it there. He's freaking, bro, it's like we went to college. He goes, the bars he used to go to. When he would like slam broads and stuff. Did you put in, What did you search? Christian sites in Israel?

All right. Is that a, is that it? All right, let's see. It's like the J-Mobile. Oh God, look at all this jays. Oh God. Oh God. Oh God.

Oh God. Oh God. How, put this, put this. How, put this, put this. Ready? Okay. Okay. So painful.

Catholic. Oh, smart. Yeah, try this, okay. Scroll, scroll, scroll, hold on. Okay. Scroll. Taurus attractions, here we go. Top five Catholic sites in Israel.

Try that. That's what that's what she's gonna wanna do. I don't know. Okay. Make that bigger. Oh. All right, church of the Nativity believed to be the birthplace of Jesus in Bethlehem.

Sweet. She's really gonna bang one out there. Yeah. She's gonna really. Via, what is that? Via Dolores. Doloresa and Church of the Holy. The way of agony.

Where Jesus carried the cross. She is gonna have a fucking seizure in this place. That sounds like so much fun. Good morning. And there's the Church of... Okay, yeah. It's not only one of the most impressive churches in Jerusalem but also contains the sorrow and sadness

of the event that happened there. Oh man, this is like top tier charo stuff here. And then you know what you'll do is show callus and show me like, and and she'll want us to feel the sadness that she feels in the moment. And she'll be like, you know what I'm saying? This affected me. And we'll be like, no, I think I you don't get it. And then like hang up. Church of the Nans NN, built atop the ancient village of Nazareth where Jesus grew up as a child. The church is believed to be the house of Mary. Oh my God. Dude, yeah, this is it. Just these five right here. She's gonna explode from Catholicism. She's gonna die there. See Valley churches of Tabaha. All churches here are dedicated to Jesus'

activities in this area. Can you just copy and paste and send this thing? The church of Biyad, and I'll be like, get ready for the trip of a lifetime. Babe. I actually would plan my death if I were her on this trip. No. This is how you wanna go out. This is her ultimate pilgrimage.

Yeah, this is everything that she really treated me. I'd be like, why are you trying to live after this? But like in all seriousness, how much torture would it be for you to go on this thing with her? There isn't a price you could pay. She's like, Tommy, this is where Jesus offered the most in the suffering. She loves the suffering. The more the more that the suffering happened there, the more that she'll suffer in the moment. Why do Latins love the sufferings? I'm just like, I, I I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, hate, I hate, I hate, hate, I hate, hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, hate, I hate, hate, I hate, hate This is her ultimate jam. What would be your ultimate death trip? Oh man.

I feel like we'd have to eat ourselves to death somewhere, like italy. Something like that. Yeah, it wouldn't be to see religious stuff. It would be like, you know, like enjoyable stuff, you know, going to see like one of my favorite strippers or, you know, great. see like one of my favorite strippers or, you know, great. Yeah, go to Cheetahs one last time. Okay.

Go to Cheetahs and, and eat an in and out and be like, I'm ready to fucking go now, you know, yeah. Oh, real quick, Sledgehammer, my latest Netflix special premieres, the Fourth of July, only on Netflix. Please spread the word, and if you're around on the Fourth of July or that week, give it a watch.

Please tell your friends, and thank you very much for blowing your fingers off, and then afterwards, while you're healing in the emergency room, you can watch my special. Nice. Stoked stoked for people to see it's very good hour yeah thank you very much um man plex some dates before we move forward please sure i've just added one night in barf flow barfalo barfalo new york june orc september six before I head up to Manida, it's at Helium, September 6th, and then September 7th, Toronto, and then September 8th. Will, Winnipeg, Willhypeg, and then September 14th through 16th, Comedy Vox downtown.

Jesus Christ. And then I just added Wise Guys and Shartley Titties Poo Ta. Up to about 13th and 14th. Toronto's almost sold out, so go get that, good that should know. Look at that. All I see is sold out. You know, I'm very popular, Tom.

Most importantly, we got this very important email that came in, Ampipoar discussion of the man who was on humans of New York. Yeah, the humans of New York guy, who was like, I'm make you come, yeah. Yeah. So this is what Sarah writes in, just watch the new episode and the segment

on humans of New York and can confirm that if your man practices micro, cosmic, orbital energy raising, you're gonna have the best sex of your life. Really? My husband has been doing it for years, and now he teaches other men how to do it. And she writes in parentheses, Seaman retention.

We have sex almost every day, but he'll only come around once every three months. When he does come, his loads would put Tom's two shame. Come on, dude. Seriously, it's like having a can of paint dumped on you. He ran in the last Canadian election and quickly became known as the candidate who doesn't want men to masturbate and the ball breather Well, let's bring him up. I like to say he keeps his boys high and tight But he's become very proficient at and keeping them low and loose piss on me beat me Sarah

So scrolled his image. Let's see what the guy looks like scrolling on him. Oh my God. He looks like... So this guy ran for office, and we just got an email from his wife. It's Nicholas Pereira, People's Party of Canada, Canada candidate, and New Brunswick.

On the internet, he's known as Nikula Doss, a YouTuber, dedicated to making sure his followers don't ejaculate. Oh, so he's got a YouTube channel. The Prairie's videos are of the vlog variety, typically addressed to his Seaman retention army. Yes. With a prompt salute to his soldiers, he offers teachings on his Instagram reposts about techniques such as testicle breathing. Great. I have to say he looks like the kind of guy that does is the beads are always the giveaway, right?

Yeah, a breath deeply into your balls. Imagine your testicles expanding like lungs. And when you exhale, imagine your testicles deflating like your lungs would. The Canadian political candidate wrote in an Instagram post four weeks ago, most men never breathe into their balls consciously. This is also very true.

Most men don't do that. Hold on. I want you to really think about this. Imagine breathing deeply into your balls, Tom. Imagine your testicles expanding like lungs. Just do it. Close your eyes and try it. Breathe deeply into your balls.

Imagine your testicles expanding like lungs. When you exhale, imagine your testicles deflating like your lungs would. Most men never breathe deeply into their balls consciously. That's true. How did it feel? I felt good. I mean, I felt like a different sense of awareness of them, you know. You just breathe into your balls, homie. But I don't know if I can hold it for three months.

He's coming once every three months. And it's like, it's like Hannah Payne. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Which by the way, I need to see that to believe it. Because where does all that come from? This thing is, it's not a three month buildup.

It doesn't work like that, you know. Because then his balls would be huge, right? Well, your balls don't hold the seamen. Right. It mixes with your balls produce sperm. Right, mixes with the just, well, where's the juice hole? The prostate gland produces the the semifluid. Your prostate must be huge, right? I don't, I don't know. I don't know if that's even good for you. I don't know if a urologist would be like, hold on to that. Obstaining will naturally increase testosterone levels.

That's cool. Someone that's seeming to retention community, even look at semen in an almost spiritual light as containing a male's essence. For others, not fapping is a way to combat porn addiction. I'm going to be reported co-opted by misogynists in the far, okay. Well, it's really interesting

that we've opened this chapter. I know. I mean, I always thought we were only, you know, kind of up there with, you know, this dude, you know. Now you get the penis out. That's the most ever. I've ever seen a lot of people that never circumcised. Yeah. And now you do it until you feel orgasm. Really? Yes. I call orgasm without ejaculation. There it is. So you feel... Oh boy. So you see, when you do it, when you get it,

it's very quick. Two to three times you get it. When you speed, it's all guess I'm coming out. I can rush that guy having more guess I'm coming out. All day. Yeah. Yeah. A lot of. Now we do a lot of talk about testicle breathing and sharpening sword. Yeah.

But what about the ladies? It's what I prepare to clip for you. Okay. This is the special clip, you know? This is the, what is it? Tom Surprise. Yeah. CP Surprise.

CP Surprise. Okay, here we go. All right. In co-poiating post-evership in your relationship dynamic, in your sexuality has a tremendous amount of benefits. For once, it intensifies pleasure. There is nothing as useful than sitting back and allowing your partner to totally worship you without needing to worry about the pleasure or anything else that is happening in your life. It has the potential to strengthen your connection, to deepen intimacy with your partner.

It has the capacity to heal a lot of people, especially people who have pooses, store a lot of sexual trauma, generational and individual in their body and creating a space in which your partner has their vagina adored, intentionally treated, meditatively touched, is potentially incredibly healing. It has the capacity to transform and unlock and heal some deep wounds and release some stuck emotions and contribute to your partner's overall healing journey. And if you are into spirituality and spiritual practices, incorporating worship in your partner's body, and especially your partner's position, part of your spiritual practice, and doing so ritualistically can contribute to your spiritual path, to the way in which you experience yourself as interconnected with everything

the reals. Why are you not paying attention, Tom? Why aren't you paying attention? He actually gives us... Oh, guy, Clip. This might be the most foolish shit person I've ever heard on this show. What? I thought we were going to get into pushy worshipping.

Pushy worshipping. Pushy worshipping. It was there a clip where I gave you the particulars into pushy worshiping. Pussy worshiping. Pussy worship. It was there a clip where I gave you the particulars of how to do it. He gives you a step-by-step. What? He gives you step-by-step. This is the only clip in here. There's another one I sent you guys.

Oh, I think this was like, that we played previously in TikToks. The first time that we saw this guy. Oh, no. It's I just got it yesterday to do. P4 who have pussies. This guy, this angle of like, let me introduce you to a concept you don't know

when it's really just, I want, I want to eat your pussy because you're special. And he's really just, this is just his angle to get laid. Yeah. Well, he suggests things like stare at her pussy. Like really look lovingly at my vagina. I don't think I need the lesson. I think we all understand how to fucking do this. This guy's full of shit. Okay. Are you saying that this nice man with his scarf

and his French accent and his greasy hair is pulling some kind of thing? Become a master of pleasure. Check my. You should see his whole account's pretty amazing. Of course it's amazing. It's all full of shit. I know. Yeah, this guy's out of his mind. Well, I just thought maybe in addition to our cosmic ball breathing,

we could try some pussy worship in our house. I mean, there's no need to dress up what you're doing, what you're doing, sir. I know, we could just try and... You could just say I'm trying to get laid. And the angle that I've discovered is this slimy, fucking swarmy, weasily way of being like,

you don't know this, but if you actually, M.A. Worship the pussy, it's a connect, the bond is strengthened. You mean I just wanna eat box because I'm trying to get laid?

That's what this is. This guy's a fucking... Yeah, it's a lot to take in. And he's got so many videos that are just, he's like, you know, you need the woman's blazio. Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, it's like a boy. Please, this guy's... I'm surprised, Chicks fall for this.

This is why you should never go down on her. I know you love to eat. I know you're a cookie monster. You f***ing liar. You're doing it because you wanna please the girl. A lot of guys, the reason why you claim love in box so much is. You're doing it because you want to please the girl. A lot of guys, the reason why you claim love and box so much is because you're doing it because you want this girl to hopefully give you some booty

if you do a good enough job. And women can't since that. There's a form of scarcity attached to why you're doing it. You're not doing it out of abundance. You're not doing it just because you enjoy it so much. And she's reciprocating the energy. You're only doing it because you you enjoy it so much. And she's reciprocating the energy. You're only doing it because you hope she gives you some booty. You hope she lets you smash if you eat the box.

You're a sucker and she probably still ain't gonna let you hit. Wow, is this true? I had no idea of the truth. Preach, man. Wow, I mean, wow, I had no idea this guy. This is a horrible take, but it's a, I like his energy, you know what I mean? He's got great teeth.

Great teeth, great traps. He's got handsome, yeah. But he doesn't like to go down on ladies. It's wild that we have the opposite ends of the spectrum, so close together here. Yeah. I knew one guy's like, wish you be the pussy. And then this guy's like, wish you could be the pussy. And then this guy's like, don't fall for the bullshit.

It's a trap. It's a trap, you know. She's not gonna put out. No, it's got, I mean, this is, he just feels like anybody who is, anybody who is asking for this, to go down, he's like, you're trying to sucker me into something I mean like he feels taken advantage

Because I feel like he only has his energy because someone has taken advantage of him at some point You know like this is a risk this is a response to being Misled at some point. Yeah, someone was like someone woman Maybe let him do that one time and then she was like, I'm not gonna fuck you and then he's just like Oh you bitches are the same. You know? Yeah. So upset.

I guess there's another pussy guy in one of the same. This is a different pussy. I think that's what most women genuinely dream about is to have a partner that is one hand consistent, loving, and you can be safe and comfortable with. And on the other hand, is able to make her feel like a dirty little f***ing sometimes when the time is right. And I think this is something that a lot of men don't know exactly how to do. Either they are on the safe side of the spectrum,

which is wonderful and is important for her nervous system, and her well-being, and happiness, and health, but it can also be sexually boring a little bit. On the other hand, you have the narcissist who can embody very easily a sense of dominance and powering balance that is very attractive in the bedroom, very sexually alluring, but on the other side is very unsafe to be in a relationship with. And I think if you want to be a master of love, you want to learn to master both. You want to learn to be this consistent, dependable, safe, compassionate lover that also can invoke and embody the sense of dominance and power and in a playful compassionate and loving way. Well, thank you for that, fucking insightful.

Well, and he went full hair down since the guy with the braided bracelet. Yeah, this is very sensitive. Very sensitive male. He's coming across. He's like, I'm a beta. I'm just like, you're sensitive guy. I'm not gonna talk to you. I'm gonna switch it on, yeah.

And I know how to be dominant and make me feel like they need to call that you are. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, sure. Okay. What a fucking crock of shit. Let's take a break and and we'll be right back. And we're back and please give a warm round of applause to the great and hilarious Rachel Wolfson. Everybody, let it here.

Yeah, Rachel. Thanks for having me, guys. Thanks for coming in. I love Rachel Wolfson. We work together in many Apple Tits. And I have loved you from the Jackass movie. And then I got to watch you perform. And what I love about you is that you go for it.

You write great, solid jokes and they're so personal and I just think you're fantastic. So thank you for coming. Oh my god, I love you guys. We had the best time in Minneapolis. That was so fun. We did. Yeah, that was so fun. Yeah, that was so fun.

Yeah. What'd you guys go, act me? Yeah, act me. So, it's fucking best. The best. Yeah. Great room. I love that they don't serve food. Which I can. Yeah. It's fucking best. The best. Great room. I love that one. They I love that they don't serve food. Which I make you go to Sticks, I think it's called the restaurant like like you want to eat you come you have dinner here

Yeah, which is good. They have a good restaurant They eat good food and then they're like now is the show. Yeah, now you can enjoy the show The worst part is when you're performing and you see the food and people's mouth as they're laughing Like the worst, you know, and they're so Lewis you see the food and people's mouth as they're laughing. It's like the worst, you know? And they're, so Lewis Lee is the owner of that club and I asked him one time, it was like the second week I was working there. I was like, you know, what's weird, man? As I realized that I, I don't think I'm seeing you guys drop checks.

How do you do that? And then they told me they're like, oh no, we train the staff to give people checks depending on how they're drinking. So like if they still have like the first drink, then it's like 40 minutes in the show, we just slide the bill in at like 40 minutes. And if they're like ordering a bucket of beers or something, they're like, then we just wait until the end.

So it's, it's staggered. It's not like, oh, it's time checks. Right. So ruining your best face. Yeah. Yeah. That you flew all the way to tell the people. It's really your, oh, it's time checks. So ruining your best base. Yeah. That you flew all the way to tell the people. It's really your last 15 minutes. I know.

It's the worst. But what happens is they end up training the staff, but then they train the audience. So the audience goes, oh, you come here to watch a show. You don't come here to fuck around. Even L.A. clubs are not run as well. No. No.

No, he's one of the best. My favorite people dining while performing is Captain Brian's and Marco Island, where people would crack their seafood, like they're cracking. You shit's flying everywhere. Full seafood platters. And then you perform on a stage

where there's a seafood net behind you and there's starfish. I can't. I prefer there it is seafood net behind you and their starfish and all that. I can't. I prefer there it is. Yeah. Yeah. And people are eating their shrimp and peeling their shrimp and good food by the way.

I love that. Yeah. Shout out. It's like what was one of those, was it outback that has the peanuts on the ground? This should start doing that at the club. So good. It's so good. And they prioritize the seafood at that place and the seafood experience.

And if like an audience member is like, I don't really like what this comic saying, they're like, well, you know, you're entitled to that. And go ahead and smash that mallet louder if you want to. Oh wow. They don't give a fuck about what's going on on stage. Yeah. That's a tough gig. It was such a horrible experience.

Like this is a seafood restaurant that serves comedy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And literally, yeah, and the stage was very tiny. There's all the netting behind you, yeah. Yeah, it's such a shit show. Oh man, netted Mackie. I'd love to perform there. You got it.

Well, here was the good side to the Skig was that the guy had a rip in condo. Remember that? They're like, and he's got jet skis, bro, and the condo. I don't remember that. I like that. It was fun. I blocked that part out of my memory.

Yeah. Yeah. I remember hating it. He's a real captain. He's a real captain. Wow. Yeah. He goes.

He would show you his credentials on the wall. Fucking shit. Don't. Um. I'm dare you, don't. Yeah. I was so grateful to have that gig. How dare you, Tom. Yeah. I was so grateful to have that gig. He was like, oh my god, I made it.

Yeah, he tried to, he wanted to fire, they wanted to like fire my middle on night one. And I was like, wait, what? And he's like, well, you know, he said this and then he was rude. I was like, they're fucking, like the, the people in the audience, they're like, we don't like that.

And then they turned around so that their back was to him. And I was like, what are you doing here, man? What kind of weird power structure is there? Yeah. But there's clubs like that where they're like, look, this is just a little side thing we got going on. We don't really care about what's happening. They're like, put the game on.

Yeah. It's the polar opposite of like an Acme or comedy works or something. Yeah, it works. It's all the same. They all do really good. What I love about you too, Rachel, is that you and I are very much guys, girls. You, the way you held yourself on the jackass stuff,

I was like, there's no way they're going to find a female comic. Were you intimidated to do it? I mean, yeah, obviously, because I was like, oh, I hope they don't want me to put stuff up my butt hole. That was like, I mean. Did you leave with that? Did you go, I don't want stuff up my butt hole?

Well, that was like, when I told my parents, I was like, listen, the Jackass guys called me. And you know what they do, right? So I was like, mom and dad, this is an investment in my future. So whatever they're gonna have me do, I'm down. But I think honestly, I- But I won't give up my but-

No, because they knew I was a comic. And so, like, if they wanted someone to put stuff up there but- There's a whole world of people. Yeah, I can't you sure. So, yeah, I think it worked out. I think puking and butthole would be my limits. I don't want to puk. I could puk.

Yeah, I think he did almost, right? No, I actually, I have strong gag reflexes. It was everyone around me who was puking. Yeah, all the men. But stuff. Yeah. Oh yeah. And Nadav wanted to know what was like

being the first Jew it says here. Actually, well, Spike Jones is Jewish. Okay. So, I mean, I think, yeah, I feel like I'm representing the tribe well. Like, you know, Jewish moms don't really like when their sons and daughters hurt themselves. Sure. So, I just think, yeah, I'm doing it for the culture. Sure.

You know, for the tribe. I felt like it was, you know, going into that movie, I was like, oh, you know, I'm excited to see this. I grew up with the jackass guys. And I was like, I wonder what it would be like to have the new faces of which you were one of the new faces on it. And it was like, perfect. You guys carried that torch so well.

Oh, well, I mean, you can imagine what that casting must have been like, because it's still paramount. So they went through, they had a huge list of people that they would want to cast. And then they went through all of their social medias. And some people didn't even make it through that round. Wow. And then yeah, because, you know, they're very serious. All these studios and stuff, they're gonna search through everything now,

because they don't want to invest in someone who, you know, said the N word or something. It has a bunch of Nazi-member videos. And yeah, or something, right? Any of the N words. In fact, you can't even say anything. Yeah, they just, they don't really want to invest in that, I don't think. So, yeah, they do do a very thorough search. Even when I was like, I just did a couple episodes

of ridiculousness and they did a background check. They asked me for my MySpace login. I was like, what? What? I don't even know. Yeah, MySpace. Let me get your login. I was like, I don't even know the password.

Like the email that I used for that got hacked by pornographers. Yeah, porn, you know. So I don't even have access to, like the email that I used for that got hacked by pornographers. Yeah. You know, so I don't even have access to that account. That's ridiculous. So they search through everything. What was the experience like when the movie came out though? Because like people love the movie.

Like how did your personal life change? The movie kept getting pushed back actually. So like Jackass was probably one of the first test movies that they were trying to get back, like, see how it would bring back people to theaters, because obviously if you're a Jackass fan, you don't give a fuck about, you know, catching COVID at the theater.

No way. No. That's something that statistically has been proved. Please don't be a problem. You're like, they're walking in with shit, like, you know? So I think like, that was, they kept pushing it back and that was frustrating, but at the same time we got extra promotion for the movie.

So when they finally did release it, which was February, I think it was great. It brought people back to theaters. I mean, it was still COVID. Like I think, Tremaine and Steve were unable to come because they had COVID. It's just crazy how we went from that to nothing now. And so sometimes I fantasized about what would have happened

if Jackass would have came out with the pandemic didn't happen. Because when we started shooting Jackass, it was before the pandemic. It was before COVID. So they had all these plans. We were supposed to go to all these places. They had a ton of ideas for me, but when COVID hit, everything had to get re-adjusted. And even like how they release it.

So yeah, I mean, it was great. But I think even if they waited maybe two months more, it would have even have been a good more huge, yeah. Wow. Yeah. Well, I will say at the time it came out, I remember have even have been more huge. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I will say at the time it came out, I remember it was a much needed relief from all the seriousness of the year's prior. Even now, I look at iTunes, like Tom and I will spend a half hour looking for a movie to

watch that isn't a straight fucking bummer. Yeah. Like there's just not a lot of fun out there. So much like I lost my kid. Yeah, I don't want straight fucking bummer. Like there's just not a lot of fun out there. So much like I lost my kid. Yeah, I don't want to see that shit. This movie is just a cancer. Netflix is awful. The cancer too.

Yeah, I lost my kid who has cancer. And then like 10 Hitler documentaries. Yeah, I want to watch these, but not all 10 nights. I know not like every day, one a month. I go to the iTunes movies because they'll have like just all new releases and you go through them and you're like, these all look like shit.

These are all shit movies. But it also- How do they get made? It's boners. It also is inspiring because like, oh, I could get a movie. Oh, yeah, right. Oh my god.

Like the movie I want to see the least right now is the whale with cute Brendan Frazier and they put a big old fat suit on him And I'm like I can tell you what this plot is Of course you know fat people should be mad because Brendan Frazier took their job. Yeah exactly Good point. Where's the outrage? Yeah, yeah, you couldn't find an actual Fatso no, he's so he's so pretty too like? Yeah, he's, I feel like he's culturally appropriating. The larger, no one's calling him out, I'm calling him out.

Yeah, you took some big fatties job. I know. You really did. Like, he doesn't need to eat. And he's already got the month, you know? Yeah, he's cute too. There's a bunch of people who like, legit are probably good actors and they're naturally that size.

It would have been like, it would have been cool to cast me. 100%. Yeah. Because that's a lot of time in the chair, right? We're gonna give Matt Damon a hard time about playing an Asian. I mean, come on.

Yeah. We're taking food off their table. Yeah. The Asians have enough at this point too. How many fucking shows and movies are we gonna give them? Oh boy. I know you're telling me. Fuck. Rachel, a lot of dudes have different angles to get laid. I'm just wondering if you respect this guys.

In co-poiating posse warship in your relationship dynamic, in your sexuality has a tremendous amount of benefits. For once, it intensifies pleasure. There is nothing more beautiful than sitting back and allowing your partner to totally worship you without needing to worry about their pleasure or anything else that is happening in your life. It has the potential to strengthen your connection to deepen intimacy with your partner. Isn't this just dressing up I wanna eat your pussy?

Yeah, you could just come right out and say that, bro. You don't need to, you don't need to throw all those extra words in there. Right? Strengthening that connection and allowing the pleasure to be as the capacity to heal. A lot of people... A capacity to heal.

Yeah, this isn't a therapy session. Eat my bush. Like, I don't need... I have to say this. To heal your un-eaten pussy. No, I'm good. I'm ready for you to worship my pussy. And heal generational trauma.

See, this right there also, I think even from a woman saying that, just makes everyone's dick up. Yeah, stop. Like, nobody wants to be like, will you worship and heal me with our, and strengthen our connection with what? You want to do like a retreat? No, I want you to eat my box. Yeah.

Okay, did you say that? There's nothing to worship. It's right next to my asshole. Like you can't. But since we're on this topic, especially people who have puses, store a lot of people who have innovation and individual. It's a new world. And he's saying you store trauma there in your place. Generational trauma in my pussy, babe. Yeah. It's our great-grandmother, you know, her trauma is now in your pussy Yes, and grating a space in which your partner has their vagina adored Intentionally treated this is all just dressed up language. Hold on also. Why does he look wet?

He's been eating He's been eating pussy. He's so into it. He's so into it. Here's some examples if you guys want to get specific. Please, I'm lost. Yeah, please provide a few examples of me, but for reference. Let's see what he's talking about. A few examples of how you can worship your partner was pussy.

You can take one of these things and do it, or you can combine a few, or you can combine them all to all the good. Great, I didn't know. You won a pussy worship ritual. I thought you had to ask for a ritual. The number one is pussy gazing. Simply look at your partner was pussy and look at that you've totaled a long time.

I'm just looking at it. This is one of the most gay, you have to be successful. Our men out here just with their eyes closed, especially with some of the gay women. I'm just kidding. There's a lot of insecurities about how the revolver vagina and pussy looks like.

Another one is very, very worshiping and expressing your adoration. Tell her how beautiful her pussy is. Tell her how delicious she tastes. Tell her how wonderful she smells. Can I tell you something? I mean, we do this, though. This is like, he's doing this like,

like every guy here is like, man, I never fucking even considered any do this though. This is like, he's doing this like, like every guy here is like, man, I never fucking even consider any of this before. It's like everybody already does this. You have like hair men eating pussy if this is not it. This is all standard. Hey, look at it, lick it up, say it tastes good. I'd like the way it looks. Like, where's the new stuff?

But Tom, are you worshipping? Are you, you're not, you're not gazing at it lovingly, you're not giving it words of affirmation. The wonderful ways, of course, touch. Touch it to the depth of love and gratitude to the life-giving pleasure-giving source that is her pussy, at the tips of your fingers as you are touching her, as you are giving her pleasure. Touch her playfully in a way that explores another beautiful way to do pussy worship. Is it her? Like you mean it. Oh, it is her like you mean it? These are all, you know this reminds me of this reminds me of this.

Here's the deal with marketing for me. No one knows my all-time marketing secret. This is a secret? All-time marketing secret. You see it? This will change the world. Change the world. Ready? Treat people the way you want to be treated. No.

Oh, wow. Wow. And this guy is the Garth Brooks of fucking eating pussy. This guy's like eat people the way you want to be eaten. Be eating. Yeah. He's like, people the way you want to be eating. Be eating, yeah. He's like, make sure you catch it and you lick it and you say it tastes good. It's like, no shit.

So basically he wants you to lie. Well, look, I mean, I just appreciate his enthusiasm and, you know, he's like, he's here for it. Chef's, he's like, an Italian chef. It just shows you too though. Anyone who's actually like, he's here for it. He's like an Italian chef. It just shows you too though. Anyone who's actually like feeling something or takes away from his explanation, it's just the accent. Cause if he was speaking like me,

like, hey, make sure you look at the pussy and then make sure you touch it and say that it tastes good and tell her that you like it. Everyone's been like, yeah, no fucking shit, man. Like, you're saying nothing. It is the Frenchness that lends itself to like, you believe it. Everyone's gonna be like, yeah, no fucking shit, man. Like, he's saying it is. It is the Frenchness that lends itself to like, you believe it more. Yeah, he's French. Like, French guy's not a fuck. This is gonna be it. This will change the world.

It's really. He says, really? Yeah. You want to be treated. Hold on. He's a really French. Yeah, it sounds French, but it's in Israeli access. That's why he's saying it as grossly as it is.

Oh, so, oh, wow. This is a it's in Israeli accent. That's why he's saying it as grossly as he is. Yeah. Oh, so, oh wow. This is a whole other dimension to this. Yeah. And this, okay, how does this make you feel? I mean, like, I'm just as grossed out as you are, but I mean, if you, this was on mute, it would be just as grossed out. It's just, it's disgusting.

Yeah. Everything about him is disgusting. He's grosser than Unclean. Wow. I'd rather know with Unclean than Unclean. Hold on. the opening clip to me as a woman is more disgusting than this the guy that's like the spatula Look at this right. Oh, just gauge how you feel listening to pussy worship. Okay, remember how you felt here are you centered? Are you grounded? Yeah, I feel like I'm processing my generational pussy trauma Yeah, I feel like I'm processing my generational pussy trauma. Thanks, grandma.

Okay. By the way, I want to play the pussy worship guy for all our mothers. We got to see how they respond. We got to say, yeah, you're getting your mother involved too. Okay, here we go. Yes. She says, Rayleigh, she'll like him. That's right.

That's right. You stick a little mommy track. Stick a little mommy track and open it up from side to side and then describe it inside out. Go ahead. This is your little do mommy. That's how it's supposed to be worshiping video. Yeah, exactly. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. Same shit different toilet, different voices, same message. You should just grab us bachelor. Spreader crap. Scoop. Yeah, but these guys respond better to this.

I'm less bothered by this guy. And I'm more bothered by this guy, really? Yeah. Well, how do you feel, Rich? I mean, this guy has a car. I'm just gonna press an alley. The other guy just had an accent. Yeah, but I like the accent, you know?

Yeah, who would you rather? Pussy worship guy all day. No, I like this guy. Yeah. This is the one, you know. Yeah, who would you rather... Pussy worship guy all day. No, I like this guy. Yeah. This is the one, yeah. Yeah. Rachel had different types of gowns. I want a guy who's gonna be my pussy that's gonna disappoint my parents.

You know? I want to make him feel something. Like Rachel did jackass. Of course she's going for this guy. Yeah, and kiddie, that's true. Oh, yeah, that's true. That guy's a fucking joke. Everyone would choose that guy. Yeah, she's going to be a star. Yeah, and that's true. That's easy. That guy's a fucking joke. Everyone would choose that guy. Yeah, she wants to go with four teeth.

But again, the intensity of the pussy worship guy would make me LOL the whole time. Like how do you take that seriously when he's like adoring your, no, and gazing at and talking to him? When it comes to eating pussy, you want less teeth. That's true, you know. Yeah, it's a science. And he's trying to spread your cheeks with a spatula. That's true. You know? It's a science.

And he's trying to spread your cheeks with a spatula. He's really thoughtful. Oh, it's true. I don't even think about that. Yeah, it's one of those tongs or something. And he's got a lot of bedding back there. He's got everything you need. Yeah, there's all kinds of stuff.

There's fly strip spec there. Yeah, he's got tarps and fucking windacks. He's got everything you need in his car. Yeah, his house is his car, you know? That's true. You're gonna invite you back to his car to eat your pussy. I'm not gonna invite you back to his bowl, buddy.

Eat your bowl, buddy. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, true. That's true. Not bad. All right, well, I think that's for different sides of the pussy game. Well, look, I wish you both well.

Thank you. Each guy, I hope I, I think it could really go to the next level. I can't believe he's Israeli. It does change everything for me now. I believe it. Yeah, it's totally different culture. I thought he was just being a creepy Frenchman. No.

Who knows, he's a creepy Israeli. Yeah. That's a totally different. Remember the Israeli guy in kindergarten? Oh my God, that's what I'm saying man. It's a totally different. Remember the Israeli guy in kindergarten? Oh my God, that's what I'm saying man. It's a different thing. There was this Israeli guy that would drop off, when our oldest was in kindergarten,

and he would come in and every time, like if I drop off my kid today, I'm wearing this. Tomorrow it's obviously, he always wore the same thing every day. Like a cartoon character. And the only reason that it's notable or worth saying is that he wore these gray sweatpants. And he had the biggest dick.

And it was so obvious that, like, he knew what he was putting out there. And everybody else noticed, but you're also dropping your kid off at kindergarten. So all the kids are basically at eye level with the stick. And it would be the kind of thing where you would notice it and then you'd see another parent go like, oh wow. Yeah, big, big donkey dick on this guy. Yeah, this guy's just flexing on these kid-dangered runners. Yeah, it was strange. And he would wear the sweatpants to like events. So all the

parents and kids, we're always looking at this guy this guys and he's always wearing this giant dick. It was very strange Yeah, he knew what he was doing. He definitely was doing and he was and also No expression right so you'd see him and he'd be like Like he wasn't like how you doing or you know, just you'd be like sky doesn't even say hello He got big dick energy. Yeah, yeah, it's totally good.'s totally good. It's a sea of pitemy of it. Yeah. I don't say hi. There is a real behavior he says. That guy was in the army.

That's probably what it is. It's a fucking AK47 in there. Right, you know? He stays strapped. He was definitely strapped. He was strapped. Yeah. Damn.

Yeah, it was fucking uncomfortable, man. I know. Yeah, I mean, even the teachers were like, you know, like, I know. I think God our kid was too little to know. I know, to be like, what's a hey, dad? How come your dick doesn't look like you're doing? You're just fucking chill, bro.

Relax. Um, yeah, that's so weird, dude. It's so weird. To even wear anything remotely provocative to like your kids. It's just because it's kindergarten. Yeah, fucking so anywhere else you'd have been like, whatever, but at kindergarten, you're like,

um, don't you want a, what are you saying, Nadav? Israel is just refused to conform to U.S. standards. They're just like, hey, this is, you guys like other cultures and stuff, here's my culture, look at my dick. Yeah, deal with it. Yeah, it's like, this isn't a me problem. This is a you problem if you ever problem with this dick. Huh, very cool.

Big facts. All right, big facts, big dick, big facts. Yeah. Wow. Okay. Come. Well, we were talking about, before we came in today on the drive-in about annoying people in our lives.

Yeah. And some of the traits that we feel like they share. And one of them that really made me, well, I thought about somebody that we both know that does this every time we go out to eat. If we go out to eat with this person, When the waiter comes up, any restaurant that we're in with the menu, he'll go between the pasta, the steak, and the lamb. Which do you think, which would you get? And then, here's what makes me crazy.

It's first you're like, oh, Jesus Christ, you're fucking 40 years old. And then that waiter, who A, isn't you. So you don't, I mean, you're just saying, what's you, what do you like? Then the waiter goes, definitely the lamb. And then this guy goes, hmm, think I'm gonna do the pasta.

And you're like, so you don't even take the fucking suggestion here. But every time we go, he's like, you know, I'm just thinking about the pancakes or the omelet. How are the pancakes here? And they go delicious. He'll go, I'll take the omelet. Yeah, it's a test.

That's fucker you do, man. It's a test. That's fucker. You're doing, man. It's a test. Well, and also, why the indecision over just one meal? It's not your last meal on Earth. It's just a meal. It's $15 or whatever it is. Just fucking commit to one. How do you not know what you want to eat?

Roll the dice, man. Yeah. I hate when people can't decide what they want. They have to ask a million questions about it. And then he does. And how is that prepared? Oh, I was a prepared. Who cares? Okay. Little take a chance. And what farm was it? Oh, do you get these locally? Are these sourced locally? Oh, I don't know if this was frozen first. Oh, no, it's the worst. And then sometimes you can see their face. The servers are like, I'll go ask. And then he's like, thank you. Then they come back and they go, actually, it's fresh.

He's like, great. I'll have the other thing. And they're like, okay. Fantastic. Yeah. I was a server. And we would get a lot of people who would ask for like coffee at, and you know, just like they want a coffee. Got random hours. Yeah. And it's like the coffee machines shut off. Yeah. So, uh, no, they asked for decaf coffee. No, and it's like the coffee machine. Yeah, shut up. Get it 10. So, or no, they asked for D-Calf coffee. No, that's what it is. That's suck. It's like 10 o'clock at night, you know.

And you're like, are you a piece of shit? So I serve a regular coffee. Oh, you bet. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, you make a big difference. This is D-Calf, right? Yeah, sure.

Yeah. Of course. Mm-hmm. Yeah, that one I hate, and then I hate when you have Someone in your life that remembers the worst things you've ever done That was amazing and then reminds you of it like I Do you remember when do you remember that time my dad always reminds me at the time we were in Budapest when I was 14 at this really fancy restaurant and they give you ice cream on a really nice glass

like container and I spilled it. And to like- He was more or further- He was super embarrassed. We were all embarrassed. It was embarrassing for me too. Do you remember that? Yeah, you remember that time you spilled the ice cream and like, yeah, fuck face.

Of course I remember it. Thank you for making it. Yeah. Yeah. And what is that supposed to do? Like, oh thank you. I remember being a piece of shit that day. My dad would do that here we go.

Do you remember, do you remember when you had your thing? And I'm like, what? He's like your thing in college. And I'm sitting there like, what the fuck are you talking about? He's like, when you're a freshman, and I'm like, when I overdosed on drugs. And he'll go, yeah, and I go, yeah. And he goes, yeah, I'm just thinking about that.

I'm like, you're just thinking about that? Why are you bringing it up? He's like, I'm like, hey, man, well, that was a fucking cool memory to bring up. Thank you. And then it's just like, you guys, you want to go to, you guys want to go get some lunch? And you're like, nah, I don't fucking want to actually

have lunch right now. Like, why are you bringing this up? I don't know. Why do they bring it up? My dad does that with X's. He was like, whatever happened to the guy that you dated. And I'm like, oh, you mean the one that fucking made me cry every day?

Like, why? Hopefully he's dead, dad. I don't know. Why do you want to, you don't even know his name. Why do you want to know about him? Yeah. Hopefully he's dead, dad. I don't know. Why do you want to add, you don't even know his name. Why do you want to know about him? Yeah. Could you give him a call? Yeah, I just tried it on him.

Yeah, no, I hope he doesn't have my number. That's, yeah. Whatever happened to is a good one. Yeah, oh, fuck. Never is a person that you never bring up anymore. You're like, I don't know. Terrible. Why you bring it up now?

That, and I also hate when someone, when they're always like, quick story, quick story. And you're like, first of all, if you have to preface it with, it's a quick story, it's certainly not. And also, me, particularly when someone's like, I had a funny story for you. I'm always like, no, no, no, no, no.

First of all, I married Tom Sager. Arguably one of the funniest storytellers of our generation. Nobody's gonna tell me a better story than this fucking guy. Well, I don't like when people say, I don't tell them funny story. It's not me determined. It's not me funny story. You're gonna love this one, but you get it.

Because if you don't get the reaction, then I feel like the asshole for not giving it up to you. And they're never funny. Yeah, never. And they're defense, they always feel itself imposed, but it's pretz, so like always, in their defense, like they always feel itself imposed, but it's prepped. So like, like after a show, someone will be like,

hey, you know how you talked about, when you went to the theme park, I got a funny one for you. No, you should use in your set. Yeah, and you're like, ah, fuck. And then they start telling the story. And like, you know, you just kind of glass over.

And they keep, and then they go like, you can see that they're getting nervous. And you're like, you did this though. Yeah, you you're making yourself nervous with this Yeah, no, never dude You would tell me if I had a bad personality right I Just feel like people but don't you feel like there's people that you know where everyone else is like, I suck. And nobody's like telling that person they suck. Like don't you think you should tell the person? If you have a bad personality, I feel like you would know that. But they don't.

The people with the worst personalities, they don't know. That what they think is that every, I think, well, it depends on how narcissistic, if they're super narcissistic, they go, everyone's a fucking idiot, right? If they're kind of sweet and beaten down, they're just become like these loners with weird fucking hobbies in their life.

And they just, you give them a little attention and they go, and then you go, oh, this one didn't get enough love. So it just depends on what type you're talking about. But I feel like hot guys with bad personalities get away, like you can be hot with a bad personality. Totally. You can be ugly with a bad personality.

No. Hot chicks the same thing though. Same thing. Same thing. They can get away with anything. Beautiful, you see the model girl and then you're like, oh, you're a dud, you know. Yeah, talks.

But continue on, you know? Yeah. The one thing to do that people do to me, that I, because I'm really stupid with directions, like, like if someone's like, just go northeast and I'm like people do to me, that I'm really stupid with directions. Like, if someone's like, just go northeast and I'm like, you lost me, bro. Like, I don't know the difference.

It's on the southeast corner. Right, I'm like, how the fucking noise? Why are you using a scientific... Oh, this is something that annoys me that people do is when people ask me questions, they could ask Google. Oh! Like, you have a phone in your hand.

Yeah. I don't know what time the game's on. I don't know the weather. I'm like, what channel's it on? I don't know. Like, what's free? How do you get there? Like all of these things can be solved with.

Adressed. Yeah. Telling somebody that some shit's on a northeast corner. I hate that stuff. I don't know directions. Who does that? That's for that person to feel smart. Yeah.

You know? Yeah, like what are you military trained? Why are we doing this? Yeah, like he's got a company. I mean, it's 1700 hours. Yeah. Fuck, well, I have a friend who will be like, hey, have you ever been to that restaurant,

Chachees, and I'm like, well, where's Chachees? You know, it's in Silver Lake. No? Well, it's in Silver Lake. No? Well, it's okay. I took on Hyperion and on the corner of Rwena on the north-south, we cornered, it's across from the thing. It's kind of like, bro, shut it.

Like you're stressing me out with these fucking specific directions. Like I'll look it up. Yeah, you lost me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'm, yeah, I can't. I don't know any of that. How long would you, if you're single in this scenario?

Okay. This guy's super hot, bad bad personality. How long do you see him for? Probably like three years. That's it, right? Which relationship of mine are we talking about? Yeah, I mean, sometimes you find yourself in situations relationship of mine are we talking about? Yeah, I mean, sometimes you find yourself in situations because they're hot. It's a hot, yeah. Three years.

Hot privilege is a thing. Yeah, for sure. For your own. Yeah. But I feel like you have to go through it when you're young. But don't you feel like with each year that you live, you go, oh, now I realize that'll get that actually number goes down, down, down. Like their attractiveness?

No, no, I mean, like if right now you've met that same, like you're in the scenario of a super hot guy, dud, you go, oh, I can't do this for long. Yeah. Well, I mean, I really never dated anyone that hot for three years, but a year, for sure. A year. He was Brazilian. I mean, he didn't have a bad personality,

but he was hotter than his personality. Does that make sense? Yeah, sure. Nice guy, you know, just we're different. I'm not Brazilian and he is and we, you know, we're from different cultures. He tried to Brazil me up though. He really did.

He was like, he would make me lay out in tan and then he would make me go to the gym with him. Yeah, so he was like, he would make me lay out in tan, and then he would make me go to the gym with him. Yeah, so he was trying to turn me into a Brazilian Barbie. Yeah, fucking love this guy. But I let him do it, because he's hot. It's like, I'll last six months. See, Brazilian pussy worshiper guy?

Hotter than Israeli. Pussy worshiper guy, right? Brazilian worshiper guy, right Brazilian hotter. Oh, hey homie They they those guys know what to do with Their mouth. I don't know Brazil Brazilians Latin men. They're very sexual these Brazilians. Yeah, it's a sexual culture No, it's like the women have to have perfect asses and tits and bodies I think it's the number one place that you can go and get a BBL That's the Brazilian butt place that you can go and get a BBL. That's the Black, Brazilian butt lift.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, sometimes I was going sideways. I've seen the... Yeah, they're both... Yeah, but they give you a fake like a Kardashian butt. Is that what that is? I think, yeah, I think they like take fat from other parts of your body.

And then like fat chance. I don't, I think like they, they just, yeah, yeah. Let's see. Oh, bad ones. Oh. Oh, these, yeah. Oh my God, I can't. Oh, snap.

Yeah. Is that Kim card? Is that Kim card? Oh, look at the, what's going on the BBL gone? What? Get it wrong? Oh, that's terrible. How do you even sit down? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, down? No, boy, no. No, no, good shit, man.

So that's top of the list for you, though, Brazilians, huh? No, no, no, anymore. I got Matt. Yeah, that's great. He's at the top of my list. Aw, yeah. So white guy, just white guy. He's white Mexican.

Oh, it was better, yeah, good. A little flavor, a little seasoning in there. Yeah, a little bit. A little hot sauce. A little hot sauce. We like that. I like that. It was always hard for me to date full American,

just straight cracker vibes, you know? Yeah, so there's really family's full of regret. Yeah, you can't, you know, a lot of incest problems there. The whites. Mm-hmm. Yeah. You gotta step outside sometimes.

Yeah. Let the sun hit your face. Yeah, I like them. I don't know. The jennies are actually hard to connect with too. The jennies? That's the white girl. Yeah, the white American with from American household. It's just amused to a little craziness like fucking charo.

So yeah. You know, generational fucking Charo, you know, so yeah, you know generational trauma pussy. Yeah, you like that. My mom's pussy affected all of it. What do you think your mom would do with the pussy? I, we have to show her that. We definitely have to. Would she love it? No. have to. Would she love it? No. Definitely not. This is absolutely, I mean, I'm going to vomit. Yeah. Absolutely. The first of all, she would be like, I mean, she doesn't use that word. Yeah. My dad hates it when I use words like that. He says it's not lady like. Like the other day I put up a picture of me with a caption. It says, serving country, CUNTRY, and he sends me a screenshot of it and he goes, not funny. Oh, dang.

I would actually bet that my mother, I mean, this is how crazy is, I think that she, if you said something, something, pussy, she would be like, what, the what? Like, not sure what that means. That's how removed from vulgarity she is. You know what I mean? Unless like one of my sisters has gone out of their way to explain it. Like there's no way anyone in her world says pussy.

I get rich. They don't talk about that. There's no way. Yeah. She didn't know what blow job meant a couple of years ago. And she might have forgotten. She didn't know what like like, 69, like any of those things, you know? Yeah, she got, she got a step into modern time. We got to modernize this woman. I don't know. She's 78 and she'll be 79 soon.

And I think that's probably gonna be it. What do they call it back in her generation? We didn't do those things. Yeah. I feel like I, I feel like I actively seek out the horrible. Yeah, of course we know. Like I love it so much that it's such a fun part of life, no, it was so exciting to learn those words.

Yeah, at a very early time. Anytime I hear 69 to this day, I'm like, nice. Yeah, that's a best. Yeah, love it. Yeah. Since you were in Jackass, we have a segment that we call horrible or hilarious. Love it. And in horrible hilarious, we have a segment that we call Horrible or Hilarious.

And in Horrible or Hilarious, we actually, we play clips and you basically, all you have to do is tell us whether you think it is not fucking funny or whether it is. So I wanted the two, okay? Okay, here we go. It's funny to you, fuck, fuck, fuck. Ah!

Alright. Oh, shit! Look how much you like that. That's fine. So this first one is... We're gonna murder me nicely. Just a way to get you into the idea, okay? Yeah.

Wow, thank you, founder, so many times. What was it? A taste-quished. Dude, drop home was like, and that still wasn't the worst thing that happened to me. He's under there? the worst thing that happened to me. I don't know. He's under there? Yeah. So, alright.

Wow. Sorry. I want to jack as a thing. I was going to say that's the way I do it. I think you're the first woman to LOL that hard. You found your calling, Rachel. You're in the right place. I love when people get hurt.

Oh, this is your jam, dude. When are you available next? Yeah, I got it. God damn. Okay, here we go. Then you're gonna love this. Oh shit. Oh the bees. Yeah. I just imagine these guys leaving work and telling someone what happened to them that day. Dude, that happened to me. Not that specifically, but we had a hornet or a wasp nest, like form right outside our house. And it was right outside my bedroom door. And they had to, I opened up the blinds,

it was a wall of bees. Like the whole thing was covered. I screamed, my dad had to hire one of those pros to come in and I can excavate it. That's scary. We had to hook you up. He had the whole bag of bees dump on his head. Yeah.

Yeah. I've had like a whole like gang of wasps get me before. What? What? Yeah. In Florida. And it was like, I mean, I was, they stay in like, then they're big, you have to pull them out.

You're so like, and then everything like, swelling up, yeah. How old are you? Probably 16, 17. Yeah, I don't know out. You're like, and everything like swelling up. Yeah. How old are you? Probably 16, 17. Yeah, I don't know how Steve O does like the bee-kini and like all that stuff. So fucking great. Getting Stung in the dick.

Yeah. Even just one time. He gets Stung like 30 times over, you know? On his D? Yeah. Or like, I don't know how many they have on there, but a whole bunch. I feel like his dick and balls must be tougher than most. Oh yeah, he sustained so many.

And it kicks and stabs and fucking stabs. I thought he was besieging me on, he does have his, his, yeah. Wow. He did that, he did, he filmed it on his, I don't know if I'm allowed to say it, but it's on his, he shows it on his show. He's a comedy.

The actual procedure. Uh huh. How's that comedy. The actual procedure. How's that to watch? That's okay. So, Steve O's shows people will pass out. They have like buckets for throw up. Grown men will pass out when they see stuff like. Was that rough to watch the vasectomy?

I mean, not for me. No, you're a cool. I'll watch vasectomy videos all day. No, I don't, I mean, it wasn't rough. I mean, it wasn't great. But like, yeah, I think for, it was rougher for men because they have the, they can imagine. Because we have a heavy segment on our,

sometimes on like YMH live, and the stuff with the Dix doesn't get to me, but the Vag stuff does. Yeah. Or what's the one when the one when the insides come out? Oh, the pro-lapse. The last hole the pro-lapse. Oh yeah, that stuff is, I don't like any of that. Yeah, that's like, that's the next level.

No, we don't have pro-lapse stuff here. Or like, I don't like a pimple popper video. I don't like it either. That would actually probably, I feel like, I would throw up with that. I don't like that. Or like, maybe like, if I, if like, one of the guys had, oh God, he's winking.

I, this is, see, between, see, you don't tell tell Tom segura and Johnny Knoxville things that you are grossed out are your fears I feel like these are the two men on earth don't tell that and I made my mistake I never told noxinal my fears, but yeah, I regret telling you No, I mean I love pimple popper videos. Oh, yeah, those shouldn't even flinch. I mean that guy should have known he should have known She's right. Wow. Yeah, you're probably the most resilient watcher we've ever had fuck around and find out, you know I'm waiting. You're waiting. Yeah, I'm waiting. Oh my God.

Oh my God. No, it didn't. Oh my gosh. It did. It did. It did. It was so anti-climatic for that snap though. I was expecting a math like a serious press.

I think when these two circles were, you going, no, it didn't. You fucking pussy. That's what I would have said to him, like get up. Yeah, no, it's definitely completely broken. Yeah, he deserved it. These are psychosisters, you too. God, are you guys related? I've never seen anybody enjoy it, but I just thought.

It's so funny. Jesus. Shit. You two have to send each other stuff. Oh, I love it. Jesus. Shit. You two have to send each other stuff. Oh, I love it. Oh, yeah. Oh!

That's awesome. That's awesome. Yeah. That's awesome. Yeah. Yeah, noxvel with the bulls, he was dying. That was fucking horrible though. Mm-hmm.

Like seeing how he was clearly affected. Yeah. And then even afterwards, like that was really good. I'm so glad I was not there for that. That have been that. See for me. I like I obviously love seeing the guys get hurt. But like I like like that's another level that's like seeing you know a family like when you know because when he's not laughing you're not laughing. Yeah. You know and he's always laughing. So yeah. But that one that was like what did you say find find out? Fuck around and find out.

Yeah. That person, you don't get in the same ring. And wait, but they just, the bull was just chasing this. Yeah, bulls, those will kill you. That was, was that a woman? Yeah, that was a woman. Whatever she identifies as a bull. Yeah, we don't want to give her.

She will. She will. Yeah. Oh, look at me. No, this is a porn category. Oh no, this is a porn category. Oh, no, this is a real job. I've never seen a horse She's enjoying it

Why I never nuts Why are you laughing? You're so good. That was the worst thing I've ever seen. Oh, sad Tom. What is wrong with you? I'm not looking at you. I'm not looking at you. This is so fucked up, babe. Guess what? I feel sick. I want to die. Oh my god, but that woman, why is she smiling?

She's not, she's giving it pleasure. So the horse's name is Sierra, okay? And she'd had a great day on track. That was the next level. She did, she ran great. Do you have to do that before, is that what they do before they go out there? Yeah, do a preform, yeah. No, you don't know.

Yeah, I've been working with horses for a while. He's talking about me yeah you don't know yeah I've been working horses for a while he's talking about it on no you are I'll never not unsee that yeah that was the worst thing I've ever seen that was horrible Tom I was so fucking upsetting there's oh this is bad too I can see where this is bad too. I can see where this is going. Oh, she's fine. She's gonna Wouldn't bad why did she she screamed like on the way down She knew that yeah, she knew she was sucked that wasn't bad at all That's this is gonna be bad His knees are gonna break bad. His knees are gonna break. Oh shit.

What? Rachel's not. I mean, yeah, Rachel's not. I mean, yeah, Rachel's not. He has no real friends, you know? No one was there to even catch him. He's the Towsus broke, bro. That's the Towsus broke.

They don't care about if his friend is broken. Yeah. Where's our room jumper with the raincoat? Oh, that was the best. Where's that guy? See in here. Rachel, I feel like you're the most expert person in the world. I'm not sure if you're the best.

I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. Yeah, where's our party? You know, where's our move jumper with the rain? Oh, that was the best. Where's that guy? See in here? Rachel, I feel like you're the most expert person we could have on these videos. Like, this segment is made for you. These are like, it's like the same clips as on, you know, just like the same kind of thing.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's true. Same, you you know same flavor The horse thing was yeah, I'm that I will You guys will live in my head for the rest of you guys have a watch a horse come before Watch this Rachel. You're fucking me. I'm not kidding. He broke his legs, right? It's gonna be like I heard it.

Actually, we got a message about this. I don't know if you saw this. I got a message about this. Somebody who knows him and where his most damage was in his back. Oh. Yeah, so I think he broke his ankles too, but his back was completely fucked. Well, I'm so happy we knew that. Thank you.

Yeah, God those knees are okay. Yeah, it's like this the only thing that has helped since then is actually is This is one of the only things Listen, don't listen to the naysayers. This is Don't listen to the naysayers. This is entertainment. They take this off. I like animals. I don't want to see those.

I mean, I'm going to fucking throw out. This is so worse. I just got some ideas for the next Jackass. I don't know. I'm inspired. Are you guys going to do another one? I'm always the last person to know about those things. I really, I don't know. I haven't heard any of the things. I hope always the last person to know about those things. I really I don't know I haven't heard anything

You know I hope you do I hope they do it forever. You know make you do this I mean listen I'm down for pretty much anything Do I really yeah, cuz otherwise it's beastie out like it's Okay, god, it's such a bummer. We have to cancel the horse bit. No, we have to explain what's really happening. I don't wanna explain. Make Tom explain. He's the one that loves it so much.

So, you mean YouTube has to know what it is? We just need to explain what it is because otherwise with the blurred, it looks like something that you cannot show on YouTube. Oh, okay. So here's the secret, okay? She's not jerking off the horse What yeah

What so I got so I got horny for no reason yes She's doing she's rubbing its belly okay God belly rubs can I tell you something? What? You just relieved so much from me. No, we have a horse coming. No, no, no, no. No, don't, please don't.

All right. You mean swear? Yeah, I swear. I want you to see it, but I'll wait. Oh, my God. That made my day, babe. Thank you for sharing. Do that was so upsetting when I thought it was the other day.

She was genuinely upset. Yeah, bro, I don't want to see that. Why don't you want to see a horse come? Oh my God. I'm serious. Who doesn't want to see that? Well, I want to see the actual gizz if you're going to show it to me. I know, but I mean, you don't want to see.

Is it a pain canister? You don't want to see the different animals have orgasms? No. Why not? Why wouldn't you want to see that? I'm serious. Who doesn't have a curiosity? I don't know there's got a there's definitely curiosity. Yeah. Fucking what is wrong with you? I've seen I've seen stuff already. You have not seen animal passions the documentary. I've heard of Tijuana, you know, I've heard of, I've heard is, you know, yeah, this is so fucking troubling. Yeah.

Can we, no, no, no, we're not doing that. Don't you dare. I'm already feel that arm. Okay, can we do TikToks? Please. It's been a long time. No, I don't know. Oh, I'm trying, I'm trying to imagine.

Oh, I can. Rachel doesn't need it. She's had enough of this. It's for you. Oh, see, I can handle whatever this is. Rachel doesn't need it. She's had enough of this. It's for you. See, I can handle whatever this is. Yeah. I think, like, I thought I was more of a dude.

Oh, I think she was one, dude. I think she, I think Rachel's grosser than me. I think I finally found somebody earlier than me. Yeah. Wow, dude. We're gonna do this too. I found a new master. You're amazing. Oh, thanks. Wow. You're amazing. I think you're my new yoga. I thought I was. I don't take anything for just to us to own or anything. I was able to function normally by myself. Yeah. I have so many questions.

Yeah. But yeah, go ahead, Rachel. No, I mean, I just want to see the face of whatever that is attached to. How's that? How's that better? How's that? How's that?

How's that? Oh my god. I don't know that I can tell. Well, let me take this off. Come on, the fuck is he gonna take us out? What is this? Because he said people listening don't like him either, you know? Oh, this is a friend of yours?

Yeah, this is our buddy Leo. Um, he's dead though. Okay. All right, Justin, you want to talk which is about to? TikToks, you're familiar with my curations. Now you're going to get bummed out. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, let's see how she reacts to these. This is very interesting. You're good with violence. Okay. How are you though? Oh.

Crotch shot. It's his first crotch shot. I've never seen him film like this. We see him all the time. It's a whole new David Gold. Here some dead. Yeah, try some dead. Probably dead. Yeah. And the camera is angled just so, the toy can is fresh. I love it. And the fans behind him, so that's cool. Are those gardening gloves?

They don't seem like they're workout gloves. I love that angle, I think that's a great angle. You like that? Yeah. It's great for a 70 year old man to place it between the rocks. Oh, I love it. Yeah. Oh, okay.

This guy worships pussy for sure. I knew it. Yeah, he's got the bun. Bun. Whoa. Whoa. I mean, how cool is that? I don't know.

People could bend like that. Yeah. Would you want to f'n? I mean, yeah, I feel like he could wrap around my whole body. He could. Yeah, people. I'd f' this guy I mean, yeah, I feel like he could wrap around my whole body. He could. Yeah, I'd f' this guy. Just for this experience. We know how you're always like,

but he's the greatest lover on her. Why don't you want to sleep with, you know, this creep salad? That might be really fun and unusual. That's what I'm saying. Contortion stuff, really. I think a contortionist would probably be, maybe a child of that.

Yeah, because you could just sit there. Yeah, you know, and let them fucking. You know, where's my dick thing? It is in my face, yeah. Where is my dick now? So you would sign up for this. Yeah. Yeah, over on show.

Okay, that's the kind of goofy day. Oh, kind of goofy. Come on, girl. Come on, girl. Calm down, girl. She's goofy. She's goofing around. Goofy.

Oh, those will eat you. Hell yeah, belly, you cheek, bro. That goes the snake. I mean, is that someone's pet or is that just like, well, I'm assuming it's a pet. Here's a go. Yeah, she's acting goofy. This reticulated python. Like, he's just taking a snake out for a walk. Yeah, I would be horrified if I saw that as my neighbor. Your neighbor, right? You can't. You can have dogs or cats or anything. I would be too scared for that. Fuck that, dude. And that thing's, you know, they actually move pretty quickly

to try to catch it. Although suffocate you first and then I'll meet you. Sure, yeah. Yeah, that's true. I just like that. Would you date a guy that had this as a pet? I mean, if he's hot, I'll probably do anything. Like I said, three years, six months, like.

Yeah. Would you date the guy who puts you in the choke hole? Yeah, I'm into it. I love choking. Okay. What about Jesus? How about Jesus is the greatest? Well, yeah, he is.

How about Jesus is number one? Can you say that? If you're getting off. Number one, he's number one. That's the thing. That's right. Can you say that? He's getting off. Number one. He's number one. Thank you. All right. I advise.

That's a friend of ours. I call him. Yeah. Nice guy. Super sweet. Sweet. I saw a guy out here. He, uh, we pulled up.

He was handing out Jesus flyers. Oh, and he's like, what do you want? And I was like, I would. And he goes, are you a believer? And I was like, I believe in something. And that was it. We had a good moment, you know? That's good moment.

And bonded. That's cool. I didn't pay him for the flyer though. That's good. That's good. That have been crazy. Can I game 20 bucks for the flyer? Where's Herc?

Herc? I may have gotten moved around. He moved around, yeah. But he's an old friend of the show. Yeah. I just thought about it. Hey, Dr. Calh here, yeah. But he's an old friend of the show. Yeah. And you love our music. And what I have here is the world's first photograph. What's a photograph?

You might ask, well, it's what you get when you allow fat gas to blow onto a culture plate. And you see what sort of bacteria will grow. Oh my god. In the middle, we have big, chunky bacteria. That's called the IBZ, the initial Bl zone, and they are the kind of bacteria that you find in feces. And on the side we have the SZ, the splatter zone, and their skin bacteria, the fart gas, there's a blown across the inner skin of the buttocks and picked up some bacteria and land them

on the culture plate where they grew. This kind of research, oh man, it just blows me away. Literally, okay, you know how much money I would make if I sold that as merch? Oh, bro! Are you kidding? Have you considered this? I mean, you should Rachel. I know that I could make so much money for my fans right now. Are they requesting it as a death of you?

100%. Yeah. That's the tame is thing they would? Is that definitely you? 100%. Yeah. Yeah, that's the tame is thing they would request. Fart art. Fart stuff. Oh, that's tame. People want to do stuff to my butthole. They like my feet.

Oh, that's, yeah. That's my table. Yeah, I'm the table. You can also fart in jars. Yes, I sell that. That girl from 90 day fiance did. She made so much money. I would say go for it.

Have you considered armpit trimmings for sale? Yeah, I would do that. I would do that. I mean, people want my used underwear. That's tricky. I know girls who send that out. I mean, what are you gonna do with it? You're gonna throw it out anyways.

Well, I was gonna say, I mean, that's true. Have you ever like explored what kind of prices we're talking about here? I haven't. No. I mean, there is a strike going on. Yeah, no.

I honestly, I've gone close to that. Yeah. There's been points where I've gone close, but I'm sure, yeah, I feel like I could make a lot of money out there. You should. You should do it. But no, I think I'm going to struggle and pursue my dream of comedy. Oh.

All right. Yeah. But far art, actually you could just do prints of one fart and then sign them as posters. How do you even go about doing that? You know what, I got a contact Dr. Carl here on TikTok to find out. Yeah. Because I feel like, honestly, I feel like I probably, I would do that.

Dr. Carl. Rachel Wolfson, you don't mind reaching out. It just sell prints about one point. So I'm real merch, episode of me's here. Yeah, it's so good. Pick the colors. Oh yeah. Frostbite.

Oh shoot. Yeah, all those fingers are gone. He's gonna lose every single one of them. Thankfully, he'll only lose the tip of his thumb. The thumb's the most important because it's the only one that's opposable, which means you can still grip. Oh wow.

Yeah, because that guy's making like a playful video, like la la la my- That's real frostbite, right? Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh my God, he'll never be able to jerk off again. That's horrible. Is that horrible? No.

Do they show it crack like breaking? And they can't show that out to the top, probably. Oh, fuck, that's really crazy. That's real. Yeah, his fingers are fucking gone. Wait, I wonder what he did to do that. Just go outside. Cold plunge.

Cold plunge. Yeah. There's a fuck of fire and a fuck of freezer mic. Oh, wasted. Fire. Oh, I should catch. This guy's red. There's a fire in the freezer.

Yeah. Fire in the freezer, my fucking can't. Yeah, this guy's red. Fucking fire in the freezer, mate. Yeah, this guy's pretty good. He's a fucking freezer, mate. Fire and ice can't. Dude, that guy would eat some mean pussy.

I was like, man. Yeah, this guy would laugh in the push your worshippers face and then do exactly what he was saying. Because everybody does. You look at it, you lick it, you say it tastes good. I mean, the fuck? You're missing the whole point. Which is?

To adore it. A little stare at it. You think this guy doesn't know any differently? Look, okay, he stares at that fire. It's exactly how he stares at your pussy. He's got one eye on the fire, one eye on your pussy. Yeah, Dr. Carl here. Why do you have to change your sheath?

Well, every day you generate from your skin about one and a half grams of dead skin cells which both attract and are enough food for a million dust mites. And then on top of that your skin exudes oils and sweat and then on the other hand while you're lying in bed you might have a little F-A-R-T. So how often should you wash your sheets? Well if you're in a very sweaty environment and you sweat during the day and then you come home all sweaty and then you don't shower before you go to bed and you don't wear pajamas, and then you come home all sweaty and then you don't shower before you go to bed and you don't wear pajamas well maybe twice a week. At the other extreme, cold environment don't sweat wear pajamas and have a shower before you go to bed

maybe every couple of weeks. The average is every two weeks and according to one survey in England, in the United Kingdom 4% of people wash their sheets once a year and men who are in relationships watch their sheets once a month, and men who are not in relationships once every six weeks, which might explain why they're not in a relationship. I disagree. I like marinating in that shit.

I say, never, yeah. That's my girl. Actually, you guys are the reason why I started using washcloths again really yeah We brought it up Well, I'm just saying like because of you guys I I I'm cleaner than a whistle now Yeah, yeah, yeah, you guys have greatly improved my hygiene. Hey, yeah, I'm very proud of you Do you have one of ours special? I wanted I wanted to order one, but I was like, I was too nervous that you guys would know.

It was, I didn't want you to know it was me. Oh, give you one. We got a send Rachel in. I agree with Rachel that I don't have a problem with marinating in our own special sauce. It's just, it's our own sauce. Get lost in the sauce. Yeah, it's fine.

It's our first time. It has some fun. Jews and piss and hair. It's farts, F-A-R-T. F-A-R-T. Yeah. Yeah, it's fine. Have some fun. Jews and piss and hair. It's Farts F-A-R-T. F-A-R-T's. Yeah. I want to give a shout out to Brandy and her daughter, Bristol. Keep bragging at girlfriends because you are number one. Be the bad ass bitches. I know you are.

Cool. Who's this? It's for Bristol and it's a shout out. It's a shout out video. It's a RT. Cool. My wife. It's a shout out video for the entire world to see who she doesn't know that. This is crime you're right there.

If you remember, she's the one that taught you how to meow properly and how to talk a dirty I believe how she's gonna sing for you. Go ahead She sings with her tongue She does have a weird way but now cry me river This is for that fucking horse video earlier Okay, so well there's fucking two minutes left. Yeah, I know. Well, I mean, listen to it.

It gets better. I got you. You did a very good job. Thank you for including this. Whatever. Listen, Rachel, I'm so impressed with your reaction to these videos. Please come back. Please come back, dude.

Oh yeah. You're the only person that's reacted this way, right? No, it's really best. Yeah, I mean. It feels like we're with family. Oh yeah, seriously. We're family now, guys. Damn.

We're seeing a horse come together. Yeah. By the way, that was not a bell. I mean, that horse was jizzin' fucking' so hard. Um, thank you so much for being here today. Working people, what can we send people to find more Rachel Wilson? Rachel Wolfson on Instagram, Wolfie Comedy on Twitter. I got my DMs page where I get all the, you know, amazing messages from men on the internet.

Oh, it's a DMs page? Yeah, I started a whole page. Oh, that's brilliant. So many messages. Like, we bring that up. Yeah, how do you do that? It's at Wolfy DMs on Instagram. And Wolfy DMs, I see it.

And so basically, since the movies come out, and even before I would get tons of great messages from people on the internet. And you just post them. So I post them anonymously, because I don't want to ruin the integrity of, and there's, you know, probably families involved. You're way too hot to have no ass. Yeah, that's it.

Best insult. I definitely have a crush on you, but it makes sense because I'm mentally ill. Yeah, that's a good one. Now that Jack has four and point five is on Netflix, I don't have to go all the way to the theater to master, babe. That's cool. Yeah, so, you know, I, these are all just, you know, I have one that's called a series called Almost

Compliments and that's fucking cool. And so, I definitely suck a fart out of a straw from your ass, then I would never breathe again. Yeah, I would. Of course, excuse me, breath again. Yeah, breath again. The grammar, I mean, these are all, I love my fans and I love this one. You look like you're pussy, exhales with an attitude.

That's just cool. That's kind of, he read me like a book. This is such a great concept. You have all your cooldowns. It really is. Yeah, oh yeah, they're obsessed with my butthole. I'm a traditional portrait artist by gladly draw your booty hole.

Yeah. So yeah, I mean, I just, this is a way for me to just, you know, keep a record of all the nice things that people look side to me. It's fan mail, it's fan mail. It's fan mail. And it'd be fun to reflect on this one.

Yeah, yeah. So whenever I'm sad, I just, go into the DMs. Refer to, yeah. Yeah. I'm gay, but I still would. That is kind of a great compliment. No, that was great. That was great.

There's, oh, this one. Wolfie, hello from India. Don't give a shit about your comedy. Fan of your relationship. So. Oh, wow. That's how I'm gonna do it. Can my face be your toilet seat and my tongue be your toilet

paper? Cool. Yeah. There's like, there's a theme to like, oh, I love that one. I get circumcised just for you, but scroll down. Sorry, wrong person. That's crazy. That's amazing. But yeah, so, you know, just, that's a great one too. You're a great role model. Yeah. For yeah, so, you know, just. That's a great one too. You are a great role model. Yeah. For many girls, as you don't always need to be attractive to be famous.

Yeah, it's cool. I say humble, you know. You gotta. Dan, you actually look pretty good here. Yeah. Yeah, you're actually. Yeah. Uh huh.

Yeah. Those are fun, man. Good times. This is fun. Okay, well, Wolfy DMs are going to be there. And then for tickets or shows. So, yeah, Rachel Wolfson comedy for tickets. I have, when this comes out, I'm going to be in, I have Florida dates coming up, Tampa

side splitters and Miami. That'll be July 21st and 23rd. And then I got Palm Desert. I'm going to be July 21st and 23rd. Great. And then I got Palm Desert, I'ma be at Skankfest. So nice. Nice, too. I don't have more dates coming up in in between. Nice.

So everyone should go see her, you're very funny, Rachel. Thank you for coming here. Thank you, thank you for coming. Love you, guys. Love you too. Thanks for coming, and we'll see you guys next time. Bye, money I take this journey honey, John

Yeah, that's right. Oh my god 30 I'm gonna do it. I know that Rock Rock Rock Yeah Rock Rock Come down later for me, dude! Get rid of free food, free ranch and everything else, man. Hands up, deal, man. Men from jail, homeless, you know. With a thug, you wanna come, move in, we'll thank you, move to you, man.

If you wanna move in, you can move in, but you gotta fuck me. Fuck me, this on me, beat me up. Rock move in but you gotta fuck me Fuck me, this something, baby up Rah, rah, rah, rah, fuck me This something, baby up Rah, rah, rah, rah, fuck me This something, baby up Fuck! Sniff that one

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