Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - Matt Fulchiron-269-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura

Episode Date: November 26, 2014

Is your baby's mama here? You bet. Would you like to meet him? You should. You know, for the children. If you're trying to take it all the way down your throat we have expert advice that's gonna set you straight (don't take it so far). Plus a UK coach can drop that fire the same way Coach Ice does - only it sounds sweeter.  Some news reports are silly and some make you ask What The F*** Are We Doing Here? And then sometimes someone makes a song about it that's worthy of multiple replays.  Plus we have the Full Charge droppin sweet science on everything including Puddin Pops and Spanish Fly, Rude and Theo too. Oh, Cosby.

Beep beep beep beep. That's pretty good. That's a pretty good song. I am, I'm sorry I can't get behind that. I don't feel like you put a lot of effort into it. I'm just gonna put it out there. You didn't. Yeah, but when you have the skills,

when you have the skills, and you have the experience, and you have the execution, who needs time? I guess, but I've seen, Tom, I've known better work from you, I'm sorry. There we go. Bam bam bam bam.

Wow. Wow. Bam bam bam bam. Wow! Bam bam bam bam bam bam bam. That's really, that's really, I'm really impressed, you guys. Well, maybe I found a partner that likes to collaborate.

Is he a producer? You ride a direct to producer? Well, you know what he is? He's a positive. He's not taking me down. I mean, we can go somewhere with this. What are you guys gonna call your band? That's what they say about America.

You know, everyone has a second act. That's right. This is ours. What are we, what will we call our road act? Full charge and buns. Whoa. The mommy power hour? Whoa.

Jeans up, hose down. You guys already do that, right? Oh man. Speaking of hose down. This is called the hose down instrumental. Is that right? Seriously. Wow.

What do you know? Psychic, Holmes. Happy hates giving everyone. Happy hates giving. A special tradition. Yeah, the full charge has spent Thanksgiving with us now for how many years? This is a-

Four years. Yeah, we always- It's like a sign to me, man. You're always in our home this time of year and we love that. I do love that. It's pretty big. Full charge is about to embark on a world tour. That's true.

Starting on the West Coast. That's true. What are your dates charged? On November 29th, I'm at Doc Ricketts in San Francisco. And then- It's coming right up. It's this week. And then I'm at Sacramento.

I'm at Tommy T's on December 4th. December 5th, I'm at the Anal Log Cafe. The Anal Hog. The Anal Hog. I'm Portland, Oregon. And then the next day, December 6th, I'm at Highline in Seattle, Washington. That's awesome, man.

And I'm bringing Craig Coleman with me from the full charge power hour. And I don't want to promise anything, but there might be a song or two afterwards. If that implies a special guest, I don't know. Wow. I remember- Bones won't be there.

I shouldn't say that. Bones won't be there, but it's gonna be a good show. I remember, I feel like back in the day when I first met you and Craig Coleman, weren't you guys kicking some jams out then? Oh, we were playing music together. That's what I'm saying. And we ditched the instruments.

But maybe, who knows, maybe it'll come back. That's pretty tight. Maybe it'll come back. Some drum and bass for your ass. Guys, Portland, Seattle, Sacramento. San Francisco. San Francisco. Be somebody.

Come meet your baby's father. Don't you think it's time? You got to know him? And don't be expecting that check. You're not gonna get it. You gotta go through the court system to get that check. Exactly. He ain't giving you money.

In the meantime, you'd be paying me. That's what's up. Come see me grab my dick and talk about how I fucked you. That's what's up. Can I go next? Yeah. I don't have as many. So, Fartford, Conteneticit.

Fartturd. Fartturd, Conteneticit. Guys, I'm coming there December 10th, December 11th, December 12th, and December 13th. That is so fucking ridiculous. If I just say December 10th through 13th, they won't know. I know what you're doing. They'll think it's just the 10th and the 13th.

You gotta be specific. Pacific. Pacific. It's all the same thing. Pacificly. Also, if you're in Austin, come join Tom Segura and myself. We were co-headlighting. Co-headlighting?

Yeah, headlighting. Yeah. You need two headlights. Yeah, you do. Makes sense. So, you're co-headlighting. We're co-heartlighting the Carp City Comedy Club in Austin, Texas.

What dates? That is December 31st, January 2nd, and January 3rd. That's right. Y'all gonna need some ribs while you're down there. Every time I hear Austin or Texas, I just start craving ribs. Me too.

I can't. There's a nationwide battle on who has the best ribs. Well, that's a fucking fight I'd like to see. Yeah. I'll judge that shit. I like Tony Romas. I think they have the best ribs. I feel like the fight is this.

It's Texas. TGI Friday. TGI Friday. Tony Romas. Tony Romas. Cheesecake Factory. Texas. Applebees.

Chili's. Then. Austin, I want to hear this. What are you saying, Tommy? It's Texas, Kansas City, Memphis, and Carolina. Those are the four big barbecues. I'll take it, man. Where's the dry rub?

I don't like a dry rub. Kansas City has dry rub. No, Kansas. Come on. I like them sweet. I like Carolina honeys at Tony Romas. That's the best one. At Tony Romas.

We're gonna get death threats from you. Death threats because of this nonsense you're spewing right now. Don't you like Tony Romas? I don't know that I've had it, but I'm sure I like it. The baby back ribs? Let's just put a bunch of fucking salt on it. How do you not like ribs?

I just like ribs. How can you not like ribs? Let me get one rib. How much for a rib? One rib. 250. How many ribs do I get with that? Give me to get a bite.

Let me get one. Get a sip of that drink. And then, guys, Pittsburgh Improv, January 15th, January 16th, January 17th, January 18th, Pittsburgh Improv. And then at the end of January 30th and 31st, I'm doing sketch fest in San Francisco. I'm not a sketch comedian.

I'm a stand-up comedian. But they let us do sketch fest. Why? So I'm gonna go headline the punch line with someone else. Why is it part of sketch fest? I don't know. I think they call it, I don't know. Because everyone hates sketches.

They're like, we gotta get some good shit here. Yeah, that's pretty much it. All right, man. Well, listen up, motherfuckers. I'm gonna be at stand-up live in Phoenix, AKA Fartnix. December 4 through 7. Yeah. That's next week.

So please come there. And then Cox Comedy Club in San Francisco. No, Cox. Man Frandisco. December 18, December 19, and December 20th. There you go. I also added a bunch of new dates for 2015. I'm going to a bunch of places I've never been.

Des Moines, Iowa, Syracuse, Omaha. Syracuse is cool. We should do a great club. We should do a ribs tour. Just go to those four places. And then we have all the recommended ribs in that area. And then we go to Tony Robas in that area. And two things, to see who has the best ribs

and then to see which Tony Romes has the best ribs on top of that. And they can go head to head. It's like the AFC and the NFC. I love this idea. That's my favorite idea. It's making me hungry. I like it. It's always making me hungry.

I got to tell you this. I've done Kansas City a few times. I'm doing it again in January. And on three different occasions, I've hit three of the big names. They're like, you got to go to this place. I went to Gates. I've been to Gates.

What's the one? I forget the one that's near the old. It's near a jazz museum. Piggy's. Piggy's near an old school. It's an old one. Anyways, I went to all these different ones. And my favorite barbecue still in Kansas City

was at the Hotel Lobby. Yes, I know what you're talking about. It's really good. It's like the Hilton Garden A. And you feel guilty. But you're like, have you guys been to the hotel yet? That's good. Like they got really good barbecue.

And they're like, what are you talking about? This is the best one. But I think it's better. I'm serious. No, I know what you mean. Me and Tash used to always just go to the one by the improv. And we weren't even playing the improv. And that wasn't a famous one.

But that's where we went every time we were in Kansas City. Because to an outsider, sometimes you like what you like. You like what you like. And they get really. You don't like it right. Hey, you're not liking it right. You're not liking it right. And they get real aggro in KC.

They do. No, man. Those ribs are bullshit. They're ribs. They're fantastic. They're fucking amazing. Can I tell you what? Real talk, my favorite ribs?

Yeah. Yes. At least the barbecue sauce is Dreamland. Sorry. Alabama. Dreamland. Oh, fuck. That's not even on the tour.

Whatever. It is now Slade Monk. Slade Monk gave me a huge plastic container of it. That shit's still in our fridge. And that was like a year ago. And I'm rationing it out because I'm down to the last inch of that thing. We can order it on the last rib.

Dude, that shit. I will put that on everything. Maybe we can buy it. I forget that. I forget. I'm still on the concrete. You put the sauce on everything. I thought you were saying you put the ribs on everything.

You're like, I put it on everything. It has a cheeseburger with a rib on top. I drag my ribs through my cereal. What's the secret? Yeah, what's the secret to this oatmeal? The fucking rib on top of it. I would. No, that sauce, man.

I hate chicken, you know, but I put that Dreamland sauce on chicken. You can totally get, like, you can totally get withdrawals from that sauce, like an alcohol style sugar withdrawal from that sauce. About a sauce that has a little kick. It's sweet. But at the same time, it has sweetness.

You know, it has both. And hickory. And that hickory, oh. What are we doing with that? Book this tour. What are we doing? Book this tour. Book this tour.

The jeans get tighter tour. The jeans get. Damn. This would be the best tour ever. 101 right there. We'll die when we get back. If we don't move to one of these. And then there's rib sauce all over your jeans

and the front of your jeans. You got to wipe your hands on your jeans. We all go on stage with sauce all over our faces. Our fat fucking face. Look at you. You're really considering it. He's really mulling it over. You guys should have more note meal for breakfast.

Now you're hungry. And I got to get my teeth cleaned at 2.45. Shit. Jesus. You're just going to drop that on me out of nowhere? Dental update. Sorry guys. You haven't even fucking started the show yet.

But I'm just thinking I should eat before. Oh shit. I'm going to get my teeth cleaned today, guys. Here's a problem I haven't eaten sufficiently before the teeth cleaning. And you know you can't eat. Shit. Let's see.

How long are you supposed to wait after a cleaning? I think like an hour because they put that special polish on there, you know? They should have ribs in the waiting room. There should be ribs everywhere. There should be ribs everywhere. There should be rib fountains. Like public fountains.

Hey, should we make ribs tonight? Ribs and pinapples. Fuck yeah, you're making ribs tonight. What else can you possibly have tonight? Come on. If you think I'm not eating ribs tonight, you're fucking crazy. Are you going to eat ribs? It's a pre-hatesgiving ribs session.

Fuck yeah, me and ribs. He's firing ribs right now in my head. Stay and let's make ribs. Go get ribs while I'm at the dentist. Get some goddamn ribs. What are you talking about? Your teeth look terrible. Why?

Because they look jagged. They're not jagged. Like you've been chewing on rocks. How good do my teeth look? Your teeth look great. No, listen to them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Look at mine and then look at his and look how yellow his are.

God. Right? And they're tiny like dog teeth. No, they're fucking not. They're like tic tacs. They're not tiny like dog teeth. They're tic tac teeth. Teeth fight.

You guys ready to do this or what? We haven't even started. The proper show opens. I'm ready. Let's do it. I'm here to podcast. I just want to say. Matt Folchron is here.

It's Hatesgiving Week. Hatesgiving. Let's do it. And we got a new tradition. Ribs on Thanksgiving. Ribs on Thanksgiving. Here we go. Oh honey, honey, don't take the whole penis in your mouth.

This is not what you do. You don't take this whole penis in your mouth. You're going to gag for sure. Never, never. Look, the sensitive part of the penis is right there and right around there and right around the tip here. This has some sensitivity.

Yeah, but not all that much. So you're going to perform oral sex on him. Then you can lick and kiss and sock and do whatever you like and do that up the shaft of the penis and along the side and around to his testicles. Hey, no problem. And then you take just the head of your penis in your mouth. That's all.

This shit is big time. Who is Randy? Don't bring anyone above him to this. Don't bump in the fucking stand. Welcome. Welcome to your mom's house with Tom Segura, Tom Sutsu, and Christina Pazitsin, Christina Pazitsin. Welcome to your mom's house.

Welcome to your mom's house. I hear crackling. Yeah, me too. Maybe it was up too loud or something, but that dude is shredding the ax. Yeah, yeah, he is. Maybe that ax is. Oh, that sounded like that was the cord.

Yeah. That was good. Yeah, maybe it's that one, huh? Could be. I don't know. I have oatmeal on my shirt that's crusted over. Such is life. That's a good call.

Luckily, you're going someplace where they put a napkin over your shirt. So you're going to be fine. Do you know what I hate about my teeth cleaning? Is that I'm a diligent flosser. I'm a diligent brusher. And yet still my back teeth, she'll be like, those were really dirty.

And I'm like, well, yeah, bitch, what do you want me to do? I can't. Yeah, no, I floss every day. I brush my teeth twice a day. And it's always you're not doing shit. I might as well do nothing. I know. Some people do.

And they get mad at you. I think this is all Paul F. Tompkins bit. It's the only place you go where they fucking get mad at you for the service that they're doing for you. Maybe a mechanic. Maybe a mechanic. Hey, what happened to your finger full charge? I slammed it in a window.

And then now I have a little chicken on my fingernail. And it's really cool because it used to be up top, but it keeps growing. And eventually the chicken will be gone. It's like Twin Peaks. Like you look at it and it's like that injury is trying to tell me something. Oh, it was unbearable.

I'd been on the road for months and months. And I barely lived in the apartment that I have now. I just barely lived there because I was on the road so much. And I didn't know how my one window that's just works really well. The rest of them are really hard. And there's boom. For like an hour or two hours woke up the next morning

and it still hurt. It was excruciating. It looks rough, man. It was excruciating. And it was right after like the sweet gig I did with Tosh where we flew in this jet home and we got home and it was like everything's good. I got a fat paycheck and I'm like, life is great.

Cocom! Just evened it out. Can I tell you? It's the way it always goes. I had the same thing happen about 10 or 12 years ago. I slammed my index finger into my head of Volkswagon Jetta. And you know how you fucking see it happening as it's happening and you're like, oh, shit.

And then it slammed on there and it locked. It was like, whoop, whoop at the time. And I was like, mother fucker. And I, you know, you're urgently trying to get out. And it just did the same thing, turn purple and then it eventually just grows. Did you get the keys? Did you have the keys on you?

Yes, I had them in my other hand. And I had to like frantically unlock. It's the worst. I hated it. I hated it. It like makes you panic till your old body starts shaking. And I remember slamming in a door as a kid, running outside. So as I'm running outside, I slam it in the door behind me.

And I still run a few feet and then turn around. That pain just catches up with you. God, nothing. I remember shitting too, right? Like your body panics and you're like, I got a shit. Shit so I can run. That's your own story. That's it. No, seriously.

I got, I was in a car, a really bad car wreck too. Shortly after that. And the very first thing I did when I got home was take a huge shit because I'll be adrenaline. Oh, that makes sense. That'd be great if you're like exchanging insurance information with a big brown sag in your pants. Can we make this quick, please?

I got a shit. I got a shit. Well, shaky. Yeah. Oh, man. There's like a Bristol chart on your insurance papers. Hey, what did you think of that opening clip? I thought it was nice.

I thought it was very, very insightful. Too much emphasis is placed in pornography these days and putting the whole penis down your throat. It's completely fucking pointless. That's true. It's just a show off move. This woman's, this woman's right. Yeah, she is right.

I think she goes on to tell me a little more about that. And you drew great quantities of saliva down the shaft of his penis. That's a really, that's good advice. Listen, everybody was, since when was that not good enough? I know. You know what I mean? We're always trying to make this shit better. It's already the best shit in the world.

And I don't like the choking, the choking videos, the gagging. I'm sorry, not choking, gagging. I mean, there's nothing wrong with them. Makes me uncomfortable as a female viewer. Why? Because I know that she's not in, it's not fun. It is fun. No, not for her.

It is fun for her. Unless there was barbecue sauce. Then it's good. If it's a dick tip, do you like barbecue like I like barbecue? I do like barbecue like you like barbecue. I've slapped those titties around in my face, girl. Is that the song goes? I think so.

You put barbecue sauce on the titties? Yeah, of course. Now lick my asshole and slurp but my butt nuggets. Chop his dick off and put it in a bun. That's the song, it's the barbecue song. It is fun and I can prove it to you. I want to talk a little bit about the white tiger's practices. I practice as a white tiger's for about a year.

In the oral sex tradition, there's a lot of things like, for example, we have a technique where you're really sucking deeply the penis and you're almost like gagging on it. And when I first heard about this technique and then saw it, I was like, she saw my goodness. And it was it was this like the instant thing that came up in me was that it's degrading to women or the technique where you're holding the back of the head and the man is holding her head and circling his

hips and grinding his penis into her mouth. How enjoyable it is to have this penis inside of your mouth deep in your throat. How enjoyable it is, especially around the one of the practices is to actually have semen on your face and you're meditating and you're drawing in. You're visualizing white light and you're drawing in his essence through his semen. See. All right. So who is this?

This is the white Tigris. Okay. And is that a group or is that a person? I got to meet this gang. This is the group Ashanti was in, right? This is, yeah, yeah. White Tig, Ashanti. What's her name?

Oh, Aliyah. Aliyah's in that. Yeah. Aliyah was in that. Here's a song from Aliyah. Oh, my fucking cut. Oh, shit. My cut.

My cut. My cut. Is that a remix? I haven't heard that one. That's unreleased stuff. Okay. Yeah. B-sides.

She's totally getting Tupac now. Like they're going deep for shit. Hey, who's Ashanti then? Oh, I'm thinking of Aliyah. Yeah, I know, but they're not the same person. No, it's not the same person, but it is a person. Let's pull her up. Let's see.

What's the song that you like that goes if it first you don't succeed? Oh, you got it. That's the song I've been trying. Is that Aliyah? This is Ashanti right here. She's smoking hot. Oh, you got to be hot to be a pop star.

Here's a. Ain't no ugly pop stars. This is Ashanti. Drinking a Coke. Drinking a Coke. Does he throw in a Coke bottle? Well, look, it feels good. I drink Coke like this, too.

I shove them down my goddamn mouth and empty them down my throat. It's pleasurable. It feels good. No, it doesn't. Let's see. You remember this song? This is Ashanti. There's a fucking kindergarten song.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. All right. I want a finger paint. I'm sorry. Start singing. I don't remember feeling like that. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. You remember this? Yeah, I don't know this song. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. I was in this. I was on. I was cut out of this track, unfortunately. Oh, they have the sit-tart.

That's a big in this era, right? Oh, yeah. First time I got my butthole finger, it was to this. Wow. Yeah. Sounds like every song. This modest mouse. Do they cover this?

This is Led Zeppelin. All right. This is who you said. You said Ashanti. Yeah, I changed my mind. What is this kind of music? Consider like just fucking. I think they call it R&B, but I've heard referred to as a

baby making music. It totally is. Yeah, it's just like. And that's why Tom got his butthole finger to this song. Well, both of you during that song were mesmerized. Yeah. Well, I'm watching the video. I mean, I normally hate this music, but I get it when you see the pop star.

Yeah. You go, OK, I want to hear what she's thinking. Right. That's someone else wrote for her. She looks like she has some things to say. Yeah. What do you think? I want a finger, Tommy's butthole.

There you go. Remember the fart song? I want to circle it. The farts, the fart song. Nicki Minaj is all farts. Oh, yeah. But that video is ridiculous. Oh, it's yeah, it's entrancing.

You can't you can't not watch the video. It's just girls asses. Yeah, it's hip. Jumping and popping every. We should write a song about his butthole. All right. Would you be willing? Yeah, buns his butthole.

Yeah, the butthole. I won't lick a Tommy's asshole. Yeah. Here's another Ashanti song. Yeah. What's that? Do you like it? It's pretty great.

What is he just tuning? Yeah, he's just like imitating his piano. He's showing you how to tune. It's a Metallica tune. Pretty good. Pretty good. Oh, no. Geez, I don't think he's the right guy for this job.

It's got like lard in his throat. He sounds like a muffin. He's not even hitting the notes. No, he's fucking up. That's how I would do it. I like when you make a video like when you're not just doing that, be like, I'm going to show other people how to do this. Like a how to video.

It's like a how not to video. This guy, he wasn't making this to be funny. This is no. I know. Oh, for real? No, he's he's doing a good job of hitting the notes for a while. Yeah, he's got a horrible voice. Yeah, oh, God.

It's like worse than Cobain showing you how to tune a guitar. I feel like we kind of disrespected the original clip. I feel like we covered it. And then you grip the penis very gently with your hand and you coordinate hand-mouth movements. So it's like that. Everybody just keeps saying he wants a deep throat, deep throat. Well, if you want deep throat, better let him do the dildo.

Yeah, exactly. That's that's a good one. OK, there we go. You're telling me that one. Thank you. Absolutely. You know what? You have a good name. I will. You too.

If that guy is requesting deep throw and you're going to tell him to deep throw a dildo, maybe you're not the woman for the job. You know, I think she has a bad attitude. The lady that called in. I know, ladies, no excuses, right? That's what I'm talking about. I suppose it please your man.

It was what it's about. That's what I'm talking about. Deep throat. Yeah, deep throat. Oh, yeah. The deep throats. That was a big thing in the 70s, right? That movie came out and every woman in America was expected to do that, I'm sure.

Yeah, like a nightmare. Yeah, well, as a nightmare for her. So you see that movie? Yeah. She was like forced to do it. Yeah. She was forced to do the porno and couldn't get out of it. How was she forced to do it?

Her husband made her do the porno. He was like an abuser. He's a piece of shit. And he goes, this is what we're doing. You're in a movie. People are going to fuck you in said movie. And you're going to deep throat in said movie. And he threatened her and like brought her there with his,

you know, he brought her there basically, not at gunpoint, I don't think, but like I'm going to kick your ass if you don't do this. Seriously? Yeah. I know it's weird to think that most porn stars don't really enjoy their work, well, it's a new age of porn stars

that somebody was brought at gunpoint. I think a lot of a lot of them have boyfriends that are assholes that make them do like pimps, dude. No, come on. You think most porn stars are being brought under duress? I think there's a lot of them that have asshole boyfriends, well, it's a different statement than a guy dragging them to the set.

Not not by gunpoint, but their drugs and I think we've I think we've hit the golden age of porn and a lot of people want to be stars doing it. Yeah. A lot of people are on drugs and some people just love their work, I guess. I fucking doubt it. I think a lot, let's be honest. Yeah, I think a lot of them enjoy it though.

I really do. I think a lot of them enjoy it. I'm serious. All you got to do is watch these interviews. You're right. And they enjoy the attention and everything too. You can tell. They like it.

They like it. And strippers love their customers, too. Yeah, sometimes they do. Strippers love giving weapons. They won't leave me alone. Jesus Christ. I know he likes the real painful sounds. Well, I think it's funny.

You don't have to explain. Everyone likes it when people are in pain. Well, we were talking about this. Yeah, so I came to conclusion last night full charge. I was, we were at dinner and I came to conclusion that, okay, so let's, Tom comes from a long line of killers. Right? His father enjoyed killing people in Vietnam.

Right, that's true, that's true. Is that a fair assessment, Tom? Yeah. He was okay with it. We know that much. He was okay with it. And then even his brother, you said. My dad's brother.

Right. Yeah, he killed a lot more people. Killed a lot more people in the war. And I think it's in your DNA that you're kind of a natural killer. And then a murder and killing and the joy of killing is in you. That's why you love, like,

like Henry Portrait of a serial killer is like his favorite comedy. Last night he's like, God, I saw this really great movie about a man who murdered his wife. It's always a story about a man who murdered his wife. He really gets his... First 48, you like all that stuff.

Love, it's an especial. The first 48 people sent us gifts. Right. Because my husband's love for murder. Oh, that's cricket. That's cricket. Right, good, yeah. I mean, I think it's not far off.

It's in your DNA. Yeah, I mean, I don't know if I really enjoy, I don't enjoy people dying and stuff, you know? I like murder stories. Right. But I mean, that's obviously... You love murder stories. But that's like, you're saying it like, I'm the one.

Like, it's kind of the number one genre. They don't make TV shows just for Tom. Yeah, it's like the number one TV show genre. It's also books, novels. It's always murder, I mean, that's enticing to a lot of people. It's high stakes. It's high stakes and that's what drama is about.

Yeah, I like it. Yeah. And infidelity and all kinds of horror. I do like when these girls scream like this. That's funny to me. Right, which is another thing we were discussing. You're like, I like to hear them in pain. Again, Tom is not the only one that feels this way.

Otherwise, they wouldn't make these things. Yes, you're right. No, I'm not, I'm just... There's a whole anal sex category that's just for pain. Right, well, I'm not singling you out as a pervert derelict drifter a little bit, yes. But you know what, I wouldn't be able,

if I were a porn actor, I wouldn't be able to do one of those things because I'd be too happy. Like I would just be like, like if she was like, ah, I would be like, I'm having too much fun. Oh, wow, he's snoring. That's FIFO.

He's dreaming about Cliff Huxtable and all his mistakes. Oh. Can you believe that? That is crazy. That's cricket right there! Cricket. I want to thank you guys for not farting at all. I was listening to a lot of episodes on the way over

and I didn't realize how much you guys fart during the show. When I'm not here. So thanks. That's respectful. Thanks for the restraint. I mean, I know this is your morning. I know this is normally your fart time.

So thanks guys. Absolutely. This is our poops of poops time. Yeah, we have a lot of love for you, man. We're not gonna... Thanks. No, we're not gonna disrespect you. Oh, but what I'm saying, I'm not blaming.

I'm just saying it's, I've never known somebody who was such a huge fan of murder and pain and suffering. Like you're really the only person I know who's really into it. You know what I really enjoy? I'll be true about this. I like, for instance, I can't watch a real, like a, you know, these like decapitation videos.

Yeah. I can't watch them. Do you not even watch them? No. I mean, neither. I watched one like five years ago. Yeah. And I was like, horrific.

It doesn't leave your brain. Yeah. I was so like, so, you know, left such an impact. Cause it was so arousing. No, it was super depressing and horrific. And I think it was because of the innocence involved. Because somebody so innocent is being like, it's a captured journalist or something, you know?

Being like, he didn't do anything wrong. He's being murdered. And, but the thing that I do find funny is like in movies. Like in movies, when you know there's no real thing taking place, those amuse me. No, it is entertaining. And I was, I was listening to you guys talk about this on another podcast and to say that movies

are the cause of violence. Like movies are only a hundred years old. Yeah. I know, right. You know what I mean? And violence was way worse. Way worse. Way worse or way worse.

Vlad the Impaler. The Iron Maiden. Yeah. Attila the Hun. Dude. Yeah. Do you know what Vlad the Impaler did? He impaled people.

But for miles. So when you would pull, when you were getting within Right. 50 miles. It's like palm trees on a L.A. street. Exactly. And you would smell like, what the fuck is that smell? And then as you got closer, you would just see people

impaled through their asshole, coming out of their mouth, just rotting dead impaled corpses. Some of them not dead. Sometimes it would. It was a new impalement. And it would miss all the vital organs. So you'd bleed out as you were impaled. I mean, that was going on.

Listen. Before movies. Try getting crucified sometime. It's no fun. That's not a killer. Or drawn and quartered. Yeah. When they tie you to horses.

In Henry portrait of a serial killer, it's funny. Look at his face. Look how happy he is. Look at his smile. When him and his buddy pick up hookers. Here we go. And they have hookers in the car. Yeah.

Henry snaps a hooker's neck. Sure. And his friend just goes, like, that look that he gives him made me laugh for 25 minutes straight. Yeah. He's still reminisce about that part. Yeah.

Gosh, I'm getting hard on again. Yeah. So annoying. Tommy's a good man. He's not a violent person. Yeah, just like Bill Cosby was everybody's dad. You know, let's talk about Rudy for a second. Let's get into it.

Oh my God. So people have been asking us to comment on this. And obviously, we're big fans. We named our own son, Theo Huckstable. It still doesn't really compute or register in my head that he did these things. I haven't spent much time thinking about it. Yeah.

But it just seems weird to me. I still haven't really put the two and two together that he actually did these things. No, he forced his pootie on some Rudy's. Yeah. He forced his pootie on a lot of Rudy's. That's a good way of putting it. Thank you.

The thing is when you're with a Rudy, you can't just force Rudy to have pootie. You gotta offer her. Do you want some pootie? Would you like the pootie? And if Rudy wants pootie, then everybody has pootie. Now, a lot of people have, they've asked about what we think about this.

And I have to say, at first when these things came out, you have to allow for certain high profile people to have accusations that are false and that people are trying to, you know, just get money or get notoriety. But there's something about, I think we're up to 16 or 17 accusers. It's absurd.

It's like are that many people conspiring to bring down, that's the other thing is when I've heard people who are really hyper defensive of them, be like, you know, they're trying to bring them down. But it's like, why the wood society? Like he's so highly regarded in American society. He's kind of, I mean, he is a living legend in comedy and entertainment.

Why would people want to bring them down? Yeah, I don't know. In fact, they didn't want to for so many years, which is why it took so long. We didn't want to admit. And the craziest thing is that it's not to completely him, but the start off, the jump off for this latest wave of this, which could be the end of his career is Hannibal.

It is weird because a couple of weeks prior, a friend of mine was telling me about these accusations. I was like, no way. And we looked it up on Google and everything. And it was there, it was on the computer. But it still wasn't like a huge story until someone taped Hannibal talking about it. Well, Hannibal was doing a venue in Philly.

And he was doing this and someone happened to record. They had their phone out. They recorded him doing this bit of where he's like, Cosby's like the smuggest type of old black man personality. I hate telling black people, like pull your pants up and don't curse. And he's like, well, how about you stop raping people? Right.

And he had a, you know, I'm not doing it justice. So then he was like, you know, when you leave here, Google Bill Cosby rapist. Well, that happened to get into the kind of the news stories. And it caught on. It kind of went viral. It was in articles, radio, then Stern talked about it, had Hannibal on, and that made people bring it all up again.

And this time it took off. It's weird that that's how it happened. It is weird how that's happening. Well, weird or kind of like indicative of our time, like it took younger people, I'm guessing on the internet, to go, is that true? And somebody pointed this out, and I think it's true. It would have been differently received

if like a white comic had said that. Sure. I think it's definitely important that a black comic said it. And people took it like. Right. And also, yeah. Well, the young generation doesn't care about about Cosby as much as we do.

We grew up on the Cosby show. To him, he's just like fucking red buttons of somebody. Right. He's just some guy. He's some old guy. Yeah. I remember when his last special came out in Comedy Central. Oh yeah, everyone was shitting on it, right?

Because they didn't know who he was. Yeah, it was bothering me, though. At the time, I was like. No, it was uncalled for. Yeah, people were like, this shit sucks. This guy, all the tweets were like, this guy is not funny. Is that right? Yeah.

Is that right? And they were just like absolutely ripping apart. That's why you raped them all. But then somebody pointed this out. So all these women have stories. And this to me sounds crazy. Because honestly, the tales of drugging to rape, I almost thought were like, you know what I mean?

Like just like made up in a way. Like who does that? Yeah, like we're talking about drugs. Especially somebody is so famous and powerful. Like it's that he could get laid whenever he wants. You don't need to do it, but that takes the fun away, right? Because the fun is to be a power tripper and rape. That's a different dynamic.

They're not doing it just to get off. Right. It's about power and being an asshole. And this sadistic bastard apparently would either you drug your drink or he would straight up hand people pills and be like, this is a good pill. Like let's have some fun tonight. So one girl, she told the story about, and again,

these are all accusations. But the woman said that she was hanging out and she had bad allergies. And he's like, do you want some contact? Which is the allergy pill, right? Yeah. But she goes, he gave them to me just not in the package. Just out of like, I got some contact.

I have Claret and Dee just in my hand. And he gave them to her. She took them and then it was out. But then, so he brought up that like back in 1969, he was doing jokes about drugging girls with Spanish fly. Oh my God. Like in one of his first albums. And here's him talking about it.

There used to be a thing. Yeah. You sneak a Spanish fly to some check. The Beastie Boys used to rap about it. And then like. And then they get horny. There it is here. So crazy.

But it's bullshit. When I was 13, man, start talking about weird things. No, really, you're staying on the corner. You know anything about Spanish fly? What? Spanish fly. It always happens when you're 13. Only when you're 13, on up to like when you get married.

You guys stay around and talk about Spanish fly. And it never starts with one of the guys on the corner. It's always some strange 13 year old who says, you know what? You know anything about Spanish fly? No, tell me about it. Well, there's this girl, crazy Mary. She put some in her drink. Man, she was, yeah.

Spanish, oh, yeah, that's really groovy, man. Spanish fly is groovy, yeah. From then on, man, any time you see a girl with your eyes on a Spanish fly, whatever it is. Go to a party, see five girls standing alone. Boy, I've had a whole jug of Spanish fly like that corner up over there. Oh, wow.

Whoops. Yikes. And you know, it's an early album. So that was the truth of it. That was something that was in him from back in the day. You know what I mean? It's in your mind. That early, it's unbelievable.

It's unbelievable. We were listening to some old Woody Allen clips, and it was like he was obsessed with sex. With pussy, yeah. Woody Allen's whole thing is redemption through young pussy. Young pussy solves all your problems. Every movie is about that. That's kind of Steve Martin's too.

Yeah, same story. Yeah, midlife crisis, young pussy. 20 year old girl. But I feel like now, does Steve Martin's always, I feel like his is that it doesn't always end. Well, that's what shop girl is. He doesn't get the girl at the end of that. So at least he doesn't get the girl.

But does Woody? Woody Allen, yeah. He bangs hot girls in most of his movies, like Annie Hall. Well, there's one, Manhattan, he goes out with a 16, 17-year-old. Mariel Hemingway. And he's with his Sunni Previn, his stepdaughter. That's the real crime. This young pussy thing, not the end of the world,

but banging your stepdaughter is fucking awful. Absolutely awful. I gotta tell you, this year with comedians is no good. We've got Bill Cosby. We had, what's his name? Robin Williams blow his brains out. Oh, right. I'm sorry, hung himself.

We lost Joan Rivers. We lost John Panette. What other deviant? I'm trying to, isn't there one more? What other deviant? I feel like there's a really bad year for comedy. Are you saying they were all deviant so you listed? No.

But then you're thinking of another deviant that's gone. There's someone that I'm forgetting that had some drama this year, maybe, I don't know. It's just sad. It's so sad because he is your dad, Bill Cosby, and we named our son after. Yeah. He wears sweaters for Christ's sake.

I know. But the thing is, you gotta not curse so much when you do your jokes, but it's OK if you're right. Rudy. Rudy told us, he's telling people forever, your language. He did this thing. It was so pretentious when he did the Daily Show. And he sat there with John Stuart.

And he's a guest on John Stuart's show and came out. And he was like, oh, and John Stuart was like, yeah, we did whatever together. It was so amazing to be on this show with you. And he's like, yes. And he's like, but the language that you use. Oh, my god. He went on his show as a guest and lectured him about.

And it just felt like I was like, where are you? It's bad manners. Yeah. And then, of course, Stuart handled it like he didn't, you know, he could have jabbed back in any way he wanted. He was super respectful and treated him well. But I remember watching it being like, why are you still lecturing these people about their language?

I think that has a lot to do with he had to play by the rules. And now he's pissed like other people get. That's interesting. I've never thought of that. That's really interesting, actually. You know, he's like, he's pissed when Eddie Murphy was so big. It's like the end of Bill Cosby in a way when Eddie Murphy gets up there. So he calls him up and is like, man, you're cheating.

You're doing it wrong. And he probably did feel that it was like offensive on some level and like disrespectful. Like you probably there's probably like a black thing in there, too. Like, you know, you're making black people look bad or you're making comedians look bad. But I think ultimately I never thought of it that way. I think ultimately it's like, dude, I'm over.

And this kid is cheating. And I got to say something about that. The the interesting angle is that it was never a probably it was not an option. No, no, no, for at least the first, you know, 40 years of it. So he had to work within those confines, within the confines. Yeah, that too. I also think it's part of how the thing is. I think it's also his guilty conscience.

I think it's yeah, I'm he knows that deep down he's doing evil shit and to compensate like the mind. If he were to admit to himself, what an evil piece of shit he was, he could not go on. So you know how your mind covers that up and then points the finger. He's got the projection. You go, well, you're doing how dare you? You need to clean your act when it was really saying I need to clean my act.

Yeah. So he's pointing the finger. What he's really doing in his head is like, you know, he knows it's bad. What he's doing, but he's like, let's be real, everybody's bad. Everybody has you guys are you say bad shit all the time. You're guilty. You're filthy. And so what if I let's face it? Eddie Murphy shouldn't have been that homophobic and delirious.

So maybe at a point, yeah. He was super homophobic. Super. But at the time, that was normal shit. That was normal and that was celebrated. They cheer that they did. Well, in AIDS, too, he was like, she come home, she got the AIDS on the lips. They're like, oh, my God, get your life.

Yeah, put it back then. Yeah, back then. And then Mr. T. Remember, like, that because I got my mask. Yeah, yeah, and and so. Yeah, it was a nor the honeymooners. What are they called? I forget. Yeah, Jackie Fleece.

Yes, that's funny. I still like to hear this. I think this is this is literally what got everybody talking about Cosby is handled doing this. It's even worse than real Cosby has the fucking smuggler's old black man public persona that I hate. Pull your pants up, black people. I was on TV and AIDS.

I can talk down to you because I had a successful sitcom. Yeah, it was great living Bill Cosby. So I'm kind of crazy down a couple of nights. I don't curse on stage. Well, yeah, you're a rapist. So I take you saying lots of motherfuckers on Bill Cosby himself. If you want a rapist, I don't know what I'm doing about telling you. I guess one of the least making weird.

Two's image for the most part is fucking public Teflon image. I've done this bit on stage and people don't believe people. They don't make it up. I'm like, Bill Cosby, a lot of rap out of cases. No, you down. No, no, no. They call me Captain Kikamak. That shit is upset.

If you didn't know about it, trust me, you leave here. Google Bill Cosby. Well, thank God it took somebody in our generation to point out what's happening. And you know what? It's time. It's time to fucking. I'm so glad that comedians are truth tellers. I'm so glad some of us, not the other ones who are like, you got to pull your pants up and speak English properly.

That's some old fucking advice right there. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I mean, yeah, it's pretty crazy. Like a comedian got this going. Can you see him? Can you see his face as he's like, I'm going to push my. I see evil in his. I really do.

Now his eyes are all wonky and weird now. But I mean, like he, you know, when he would he lectures and gets serious, I see like a pretty aggro dude. He also dances pretty tight. Yeah, there's a lot of pent up shit. And I love his love his dancing. Oh, it's so great. I know. Well, you look just like him right now.

I'm still going to enjoy the Cosby show. I'm sorry. Yeah. But I mean, but I'm going to have trouble with hoagies. I'm going to have trouble with hoagies. Dude, hoagies is still going to go down smooth. You put a couple of ribs on top, man. Now, do you think Camille knew? Do you think Camille knows that he's a.

I bet she knew he had his vices. He knows he's been accused. You can't hide that shit from your wife. No way. I think he met her. He probably did it to her too. I think she knew that, like he fooled around. I don't know if she knew that his tactic was always fucking raping women. Come on. Do you think? It's just so unbelievable.

And maybe he did it to Camille every night. Maybe that was Camille. You need to try to simple this. It's good when you watch it down. I gave a pill to the wife and she leaves me alone and I get to have some alone time with her. The boy comes in the room when I just drugged my wife because I thought we were alone on the boys.

So I gave my boy a pill and I said, you take one of these. He did have a weird life, though. I mean, his poor son gets murdered in the streets of LA, which is so. But that's a way after a lot of these rapes. No, no, no, I'm not saying that it's any way correlated, but it is such a weird. He's had a weird fucking life, I think. And so is he weird stuff?

Is this going to court or is this stuff people are talking about? No, it's not going to court. Is this we've been talking about it for like two months now, like a month. Like this just won't end. Like everyone wants to talk about Bill every day on the Internet. Yeah, yeah, I was looking for like the last week and every day. Yeah. If you know, on the Twitter app, it has only the top three trending topics.

It's been in the top three every single day. So what these women are just like, hey, it happened to me, but I'm not pressing charges. Well, a lot of it is like, I don't know, it's so old and there's zero evidence, I think, you know, the evidence is that they're all saying it. But there's you you're not going to. I mean, I don't think you're going to convict a guy because there's no physical evidence.

These are some of these stories are 20, 30, 40 years old. It's just all of them being like, yeah, he did it to me, too. He's not raping no more. I mean, what if he was like, I did that a lot of rapes, a long time. It was a long time. Real neat, but they did. You know, it got his NBC pilot canceled. I know they were going to do a new show with him and Netflix.

He shot a special and they're not going to release it. Dude, good. What can you what can you possibly do? I mean, you imagine what that comment section would look like if they saw. He looks crazy now. And the generation now because Netflix is like a young users. Yes. Medium. Yes. It would be it would be a half a star. Yeah, I'll give it like half a star.

Right. And it would be a hundred thousand comments about rape. Fuck you, Bill Cousins. He looks every picture that they choose to use next to the articles. It's like the rapiest creep. Like one eye is going to laugh. One eye is down. Yeah. He's got the shit freckles and just like doesn't look very good right now. Pictures of him like from the Cosby show where he's like yelling at his kids.

Yeah, they're using pictures like that. I'm going to rape you and then Rudy came out or Raven Simone came out and she and she goes he didn't rape me. I think there's a story that that she was denying just Raven Simone. I don't know if the real Rudy came out. No, he's smart, though. I mean, if you're if you're that savage serial rapist, what you do is everybody that knows you think you're awesome.

Yeah, like a true sociopath in America, by the way, you would never. You would never taint that water, you know, you would never rape a cast member. And like you you only you bring in the out the girl who admires you from afar. So smart. My husband is about these things. Yeah. Yeah. And that's how you do it. And the sweaters are a little bit over compensation now. And I see how sweet I am. I like silly stuff. Yeah.

And then pussy on the side. Drugging and rape unconscious pussy on that. So when there's a piece of pussy on the side, I put on my silly sweater. This is my raping sweater. Well, thanksgiving. I'm gonna wear a funny sweater and I'm gonna turkey and I'm gonna rape you. I just I still cannot wrap my brain. There's Spanish fly in the cranberry sauce.

Now, please pass the stuff. Now, who do you think you're getting raped? Sometimes you feel. Don't you think like his managers knew his agents? The people that were in his inner circle all cleaned up those messes. Yeah, because the messes get messy. That's why. And then he's like, it's like, but you know what? They're they're thinking about what a piece of shit their client is.

And they're like, you know, he made fifty six million dollars soon. They're like, we're going to take care of this. Doesn't matter. Keep doing what you do. Right. We're going to keep this, you know, as long as we can keep this business going, we're going to. So sure. You know, even if it's just for a week, we're shutting it down. And you can get you can get away with the the more. They're like, dude, he does what he does.

And we're going to help because they care more about money. Yeah. And you can actually throw money at people like hush up, be quiet. One girl said that I think it was the girl that gave him that he gave the he's like, here's for your allergies. Yeah. And she would have he raped her or tried to rape her. I forget some sexual assault took place, she says. And then on the way out, she said he threw down two hundred dollar bills. Oh, yeah. That's what you're worth.

Two one hundred. What a fucking piece of shit. Now, this was the 70s, so it's a lot of money. Yeah, I didn't adjust. Eight thousand dollars. Yeah, sorry, I didn't adjust for inflation. Yeah. I wonder who else is a piece of shit. That's the ultimate. That is a double fucking bird. Oh, yeah. To drug you and then call you or on top of it. And be like, I know you're not going to say shit.

I left you a couple of hundred. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you're fucking savage, right? I saw this girl tweet out. She was like, this girl, Susan Burke, she said, I just want to thank Bob Newhart for not being a creep. Because, you know, it's like all these old comics, like every single one of them across the board are turning into like just monsters. What is that? Why is that?

Because you become in your mind, omnipotent, you know, you you become super famous. Bill Cosby was the most famous person in America at one point. And you think you're above it. You think you're above the law and above being human. He's got the fucking money and the fucking power in show. And Hollywood loves to feed that all his circle around him. Yeah, yes, Bill. Absolutely. You're the best. You're the best.

Yeah. And he's above it. It kind of makes you think kind of makes you think you're like, what is nothing? What is nothing? Now that's deep. What is something? What is something? Right? Because zero, zero undefined number. It can be nothing. It can be nothing.

But it can also be everything. Wow. Will Smith has to pretend like that's fucking intelligent all day long. That must be exhausting to put up with that kid. That's my podcast. Was that me talking? That's Jaden Smith, a.k.a. Christina P. Sounds like my other show.

That's here. Here's the crazy thing is that I've always wondered, like I see these tweets and these articles we had Duncan Trussell on. We were breaking down Jaden and Willow's interview with the New York Times. Yeah. Bananas, right? And I was like, I wonder what the parents have to be like around this nonsense. And then it's right there for us. Yeah. So for those listening, that is Jaden Smith and his father, Will Smith.

And as Jaden says. The dumbest shit. Now I realize the father's his hype, man. He's like everything is literally like a like a song. He's like, what is that? What is nothing? And if zero, zero. Yeah. And he's like, wow.

Like he's just in awe of of of baby's little shit. Like that's a beautiful little turgid late, right? Yeah. I mean, how old is that kid here? He's now, well, now he's 14. This he's probably like 12. 12 or 13. And it's at a press junket for a movie that they did together. So it's really an inappropriate time to talk about these things.

Yeah, it's kind of fine at home. Yeah, just be like, hey, everybody. Yeah, look, we're going to philosophize right now. Right. It's fucking nonsense. How could that possibly be about anything they're supposed to be talking about? It's not. And that's why Will Smith is trying to play it off. Like, yes. OK. Oh, man.

OK. I thought I told you we don't talk outside the house. Uncle Phil. Squash this shit. Listen to this bullshit. What is nothing? What is nothing? Now, that's deep. And what is something? And what is something? Right? It's like you dumb kid. Zero.

Zero. Undefined number. It can be nothing. It can be nothing. But it can also be everything. Wow. Can it be everything? Do you realize he's trying to like, all right, shut up now? Yeah, no, halfway through that, he shifted into second. You know, you know what?

You know why he shifted in a second? Because he's like, you know what I'm saying? We have to sell tickets. Yeah. This is a ticket. It's a movie junket. And this is very embarrassing. Yeah. If I was to be seen encouraging you with these. I told you in the car, we can do this shit. Yeah. But when we in front of the camera.

I don't know. That shit off. I got to tell you, I think this kid's this is precursor to mental illness. I think we're going to find out he's getting. I swear to God, I mean it. I think this is the beginnings of mental illness. Really? Yes. Because you guys made fun of him on Twitter before, right? He just writes like crazy things all day, right?

He's crazy. No. Listen, my mom is crazy. OK, I know Craig, right? When I see Craig, Craig and this motherfucker is crazy. You really confirmed. Give him a few more years. Yeah. Give him a few more years. He's here. You're like a son to me, man.

Yeah, he's crazy. You're like a son to me, man. Yo, Jay, you're like a son to me, man. What is a son? A son. The son is not the son. Now, do you think this is crazy? Who said out here to do a story? They'll do a story about what?

As you can see, there's construction underway here. They've dug out a little bit. There's water has accumulated, traffic's backed up in the city. The size of Houston is always traffic. So what's the big fucking deal? What the fuck are we doing out here? I asked you, what in the fuck are we doing here?

Hell, I don't know. I could be on that's deep, bro, too. That's just way. That was live on the air. That was a journalist last year. That's ridiculous. What the fuck are we doing? That's his last story.

News story. It was what the fuck are we doing here? You know, some people put in their two weeks notice and some people just retire on the spot. You see that one in Alaska? She was an Alaskan news, you know, reporter, and she was covering cannabis story. Well, on the side, she had started her own cannabis business.

Yeah, I don't know what it was. But anyways, she. She just goes and she kind of closes out the story and she goes and so I have to kind of do what I'm going to do. So fuck it, I'm out of here. And everybody's like, oh, why do you have to do that? Good way to go out. That was her quitting, right?

Guys, you have to pee. I have to pee really bad. You have to pee? I got a whiz. All right, you got to pee. Let me see if I can find this for the full charge. That's deep, man. Sorry, Fifo.

What is that? Did you pee on? I think I have it right here. Let's see. Yes, let's see if this is it. And of course, I have to wait for the ad. Oh, yeah. But this, I want to this is this woman doing this.

I, the actual owner of the Alaska Cannabis Club, will be dedicating all of my energy toward fighting for freedom and fairness, which begins with legalizing marijuana here in Alaska. And I'll spray this job. Well, not that I have a choice, but fuck it, I quit. It seemed like the first time. All right, we apologize for that.

It seemed like the first time she said, she was like, oh my God, am I really saying this? And then she had to say it twice. She was like, I'm really saying this. Yeah. That's funny. We apologize for that. Ah, sorry, you heard the F word.

It's funny that news has changed into everyone gives their opinion on news. They've broken that thing where it's like, it's an unbiased thing. I'm obsessed with it. But then they still have to talk like, shows like this still have to talk like robots with no emotions.

Like, we're, we apologize for that word. You've probably never heard before. Aren't you? I'm sure you're very offended. Bothered though, because like when we were. Incredibly. We were kids, for our parents' generation, it was not even, you would never know

which way someone leaned. Here's the facts. It was it. You know about this. Cronkite. Yeah. And all the, and then even into the, I would say the last generation,

which was like, like Peter Jennings, Tom Brokaw. Like Tom Brokaw, we know now is like really liberal guy. That dude like just delivered the news. The description of the news, and it was a requirement was unbiased. They had to have that. Otherwise it wasn't considered news. Now the hook of it, the reason you watch the news

is because it's a news guy who's gonna tell it to you the way you like it. Yeah. Like here's your slant. We know your slant, because you tuned into this. Right. And we're gonna tell you why the Republicans are fucking you. Right.

And we're gonna tell you why the Democrats are stupid because of this Ferguson story. Right, right. We're gonna tell you your slant. And then you're gonna get all upset. And if that bothers you. And then more people are gonna come in and scream about it. Exactly.

If you don't like that form of entertainment, because it's not even news entertainment, switch on this other network where we'll tell you why the Republicans are stupid. Yeah. And why, you know, only the Dems are right. Does CNN still try to do it? CNN is definitely more left-leaning.

And what about BBC? They, what do they do? I feel like BBC, I feel like you have to leave America to get less, like to get new. Right, right, right. Sort of like what we want you're talking about. You know, you read sites that are out of the country, like, you know, Guardian UK or like you'll find more objective

just here's what happened. But if you do it here, it's all opinion-based. BBC is great. They're just calm. They report facts. It feels more like they're not hysteria-based. Yeah, you know, they keep that straight, like, you know, that straight robot voice.

And this is the bad news. Yeah. Bill Cosby is a rapist. No, they'll actually say like he was allegedly, he was accused of raping 17 people. Cosby denies these allegations, that type of thing. Cosby denies these allegations. Is there still the seven o'clock news on like NBC or whatever?

Yeah, I think it's six o'clock, right? Tom's O'clock is six o'clock. Brokawki. Brokawki. Brokawki. Yeah. I took this one class, it's like social studies class in high school where we had to watch the news

and they would quiz you on it. I hate that. But it was before, I guess I could have taped it. I guess my arguments absolutely could have taped it and watched it back. I was gonna say it's before the internet and you could really like read about it and stop and start it.

But I'd just watch it once and be like, I think I got it. And then take the quiz like, nope, don't got it. Yep. You know? Oh, by the way, you know, the guy we played, he was doing the, what the fuck are we doing here? Yeah.

Well, there's a... Love that. That's great. I think there's a, here's a remix. Let's see. Oh, good. I love this. Who would sit out here to do a story?

They'll do a story about what? As you can see, there's construction underway here. They dug out a little bit, there's water, has accumulated, traffic's backed up, and the city decides if Houston is always packed. So what's the big fucking deal? What the fuck are we doing out here? I asked you, what is the fuck are we doing here?

Look what the big fucking deal? What the fuck are we doing here? I asked you, what is the fuck are we doing here? What really happened on that Thursday here at Augusta High School that led to Criswood's death? The fuck is death? Shit, shit, shit. Fuck, fuck, fuck, I can't see.

Fuck, I just caught your motherfucker. I can't see. Fuck, fuck, fuck, I can't see. Fuck, I just caught your motherfucker. Who's sitting out here to do a story? To do a story about what? To do a story about what? All the way around here.

So what's the big fucking deal? What the fuck are we doing out here? I asked you, what is the fuck are we doing here? So what's the big fucking deal? What the fuck are we doing out here? I asked you, what is the fuck are we doing here? Fuck me down to town. Shit bled in my mouth.

Fuck, I can't see. Fuck you to fuck, I just caught your motherfucker. This is my favorite form of entertainment. It's fantastic. It's the remix of people losing their shit on videos. That guy was so big with how he... He started at a seven. He started with, look at this, look at this.

And ended with, what the fuck, this is nonsense. This whole profession, this whole station is nonsense. He was, he was fed up. That guy was slowly fed up. When he said the statement, he goes, what in the fuck are we doing out here? He wasn't like sort of... He had just had a conversation with his story editor.

And was like, you want me to do what? You want me to do a story about... Right. About get, okay. That was his Monday morning. And he lost his fucking cool. But I had, you know what I had stuck in my head for like months after I was on here one time.

It was when we played the one... What was the one about the guy that was coming back from McDonald's and he saw a bunch of girls in the house? Cleveland. Yeah. And he rescued them. What was that song? It was like...

That guy was so good. Dead giveaway. Dead giveaway. Yeah, dead giveaway. That shit was in my head for a month. That shit was catchy as hell. Yeah, he was buying a Big Mac. He came back from McDonald's.

And he had his Big Mac. And he heard some shit happening in the house. That's true. That guy was awesome. And if you watch like clips and clips and clips of him, he's like pretty... I don't think they let him sleep for 48 hours. Charles Ramsey.

They were like, you got to go do press conference here. You got to do it here. And eventually somebody gave him a hat because his head was so crazy. They started making him wear a hat. He was like, I don't know, man. I don't know. Dead giveaway. I just did the right thing.

Leave me alone. I know. You get punished for doing the right thing, obviously. That's true. Which is it? You used that? How'd it go? I don't know.

I'm going to check it out. We finally got cameras for the studio. We're doing a little test to see. Theo thinks you have a snack for him. Look, you open that up and he thinks... In a dog's world, everything could be a snack. Anything with a container could be a snack. I'm sorry.

And we're always eating his treats. Yeah. He doesn't know everything. Oh, damn it, it's my treat. Hey, Theo, have some Spanish fly. You know you tried to give the dogs Spanish fly. It was five dogs at the park. It's so scary.

I love when coaches lose their shit. It's one of my favorite things. I was listening to some of that on the way over, too. We got one from the UK. Okay, good. It's controlled anger, but he's definitely fucking pissed. English is coming back at me when I'm shouting it, yeah, above the crowd and above the next guy.

Because I'll run this fucking football club until I'm told otherwise by the fucking circus upstairs. If you come back at me, you'll be off the field and you'll be following Terry down around with me. If you come and see me tomorrow, you've got a full night's notice because that performance is the straw that broke the camel's back. And that will not be tolerated in his dressing room while I'm in charge. He's taking a shit.

That is the fucking straw that broke the camel's back. That is typical fucking late Norrie. Six, you're too intense. You're fucking this. You're that. No one can talk to you. I never fucking followed two good dogs. I never fucking done like that.

The reason I was intense because I wanted to play well again. And I'm wasting my breath on something. That's some Guy Ritchie type shit right there. Yep. I love it. Wasting me fucking breath. So is it considered proper English? Do I not know?

Are you supposed to say me? Me breath? No. Is that slang or is that like the proper way? Why are Brits saying that? May breath. Yeah. Because it's a lower class, whatever they considered a lower class dialect.

Really? It's slang. It's like cock not cock. Wasting me breath. May breath. Yeah. It's just like street slang. Yeah.

It's like when they tag sentences with yeah. Yeah. Like their wit like it's. Well, because you don't hear Prince Charles saying me. I have him. I've heard him be like fuck off. May queen. May queen.

When he replaced Sid Vicious in the Sex Pistols. He used to talk like that a lot. Well Amy Winehouse was doing me black. Me black because she was considered a lower accent. I love me black. Me and me black. I was showing this French woman around the Herald Examiner. You know, I worked that job sometimes and she goes, what floor are we on right now?

And I'm like, we're on the second floor. Like this. She like jumped a mile high for the audience. I'm putting the two sign with the back of my hand towards the person. We don't hear that. That's a very vulgar. Fuck you. It's like, I'm going to finger you.

Yeah. That's essentially almost the peace sign. What we know as. It's the back of your hand facing with two fingers up in the States. If they've never been abroad or anything. Right. No big deal. Yeah.

But over there. This woman jumped a mile high dude. Fuck yourself. Yeah. It's true. You can always see the Oasis brothers walking around every time paparazzi rolled it. This is like peace man. But that's this way.

Yeah. People don't go like this. And they have to do this. You usually go up and down with it too. Yeah. Fuck you. You make the face like. I go, me fingers up.

My black fingers in my vagina. She was all kinds of fucked up. I know. How she could sing though. Who? Amy Winehouse. Oh yeah. She's awesome.

Yeah. Her dad, they're a real working class people. I saw a documentary on her. Yeah. Yeah. She's real close to her folks. But that Blake, they blame me Blake for getting her hooked on the drugs. I blame me Blake too.

Yeah. But she was fucked up anyway. She was fucked up before me Blake. I don't know. I think if you're going to do drugs, you're going to do drugs. Yeah. I don't know about it. They would have been some other guy if it wasn't me Blake.

That's true. But still, fuck Blake. Fuck Blake. Yeah. Blake's a fucking cunt. Get your life, Blake. Fuck you, Blake. Me, Blake.

Me, Blake. So I went to the English. There's this English gift shop near our roomer and I got some digestives. When I lived in England, they gave you these cookies called digestives with tea. Yeah. And last night, Tommy's like, wait a minute, these cookies, do they make you shit? And I'm like, yeah, that's what they're digestives. Man, they're high-fiber treats.

I ate like three the other day. Yeah. Just for fun. Just for flavor. Yeah. Just to lose 30 pounds. It really went through me. And then it made sense to me, and we were watching this English movie, tea time and then digestives.

It's just, it's a time to make you shit. So it makes you hungry for dinner, right? Yeah. Because you shit. I didn't realize that. When is tea time? 4pm? Yeah.

In the UK, everybody does tea time. This is exactly 4pm. Yeah. And then the winter time, it's just about getting dark, so it's a little depressing. Yeah. Everybody has tea. It's kind of nice though. You work days over at 4.

Yeah. It's awesome. Full charge. We didn't fart. Okay. But we have a fart video for you. Well, let's bring it out. Tell me if you think this is the time.

How many digestives has she had? Name this tune. Is this talent or what? Here we go. But name the tune. Name the tune. Here we go. Give away.

Give away. Ugh. That's the death march from Star Wars. Yes. Timing's off, but the notes are incredible. What an ass death guy. It's pretty awesome, huh? It's pretty fantastic.

Let's face it. That's talent. I guess if you're going to do gross shit, there's no harm in looking gross too. No. That was pretty impressive, right? That's fucking great. Really good. And there was the perfect song for him.

Yeah. He had the long... That's that guy's whole life watching Star Wars and farting Star Wars. Why is that? I love how there's always an extra guy there too to be like, huh? Is that not the best? That's the rules. The two rules.

That's the rules. The talented fartter and the dumb laugher. That's the whole premise of the Jackass movie. Yeah, exactly. Those Jackass videos would be nothing without the ten guys laughing. I know. That's the best. We just watched the Jackass...

What was it? Bad Grandpa? We loved it. Did you see it? Yeah, I saw it. It's funny, man. There's one part that really got me where I realized, oh, this is going to be a fun movie when he sits on the fucking horsey or whatever and gets shot through a window.

I was like, oh, this is going to be a stunt movie. That's people's faith. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, it's just absurd. He goes, oh, it's broke. Let me get on it and try it. And then he gets shot through a window. It doesn't make any sense at all.

It's just to shock people. It's Jackass with a plot. Yeah. When he's such a perv to every woman, he's like, I can't really stir the gravy when I can still lick the spoon. And then one was like, oh, that's all that really matters to you. He hits on everybody. That long hair.

Don't cover that red neck, boy. I love what he says in Jackass too. I think that's such a good expression. That is great. And when he goes, ah, he's like, ah, try this one on for size. He's just like, flow shit on the fucking wall. Oh, yeah, that was good. I know there's a spoiler for everybody, though, because those are the two best parts.

But if you haven't seen it yet, come on, get on it. The shit thing is crazy. It's on Netflix now. Bad Grandpa's Priest. It's a stupid one. It's got five stars. Yeah. Well, it deserves it.

I know. I'm saying there's so few things on there. They have five. The only thing I noticed I have a ton of, a lot of five-star reviews are TV shows. Yeah. Seasons of shows that are, like, just loved by people. You're special. No, it's not.

Five stars. It's four. Four hung in there. Four out of five stars. Dude, if you're a comedy special, getting four stars, you're in good shape. Yeah. Because people hate comedy. They hate community.

They resent them. They're dying to hate you. Yeah. They're dying to hate you. That's true. That's true. But no, yours is popular on Netflix, though. All right, all right, all right, all right.

Hey, how much fun. That's five bucks for you. We had so much fun last week. We discovered a new game with our dog, Tom's Beard, as you can see, is really full right now. I'm curious. Yeah. What we started to do is hide food in Tom's Beard, and then the dog finds the food.

Was that a video you guys put up? In the beard? No, we should. No, that's funny, though. Yeah, we will. We're doing that next. Yeah. Put some ribs in there.

See if you find them. He, like, we put cheese in his beard, like pieces of parmesan, and the dog, like, licked it out. So much fun. Man, now he thinks your beard tastes that good. Now, here's the best part. It's a good time. Because the dog trainer taught us, like, it uses this expression, and I was like, this,

he thinks that my beard makes treats, because he was telling us to get a dog to like its crate, put treats in it when the dog's not looking. And I go, why? He goes, he will think that the crate makes treats. Right. So like, he'll be. Like a tree. Yeah, he doesn't know.

So now what we're going to do is do this all the time. So he'll think, he'll check out my beard now, like, did it make any treats today? Right. And then maybe there'll be treats. Yeah. Like, ah, it's another non-treatment. Non-treatment. My beard.

But I'll check it out later. You know. But now he licks your face way more freely than he'll lick mine. I'm a little jealous. Last night, he would lick my face. But we shave, you know what? You got to stop shaving your mustache in the morning. I know.

And maybe we could put treats in there. Maybe. Because you've been shaving too much up there. Too much. Too fat. Too fat. Too fat. She shaves like two, three times.

I have to. It's so dark. Yeah. I got you some beard combs. I got Tom some combs for his beard now. Okay. Yeah. That's what I saw.

Especially made beard comb. Yeah. It's really nice. You need that. And it's so funny to watch you comb your beard now. It's so full right now. Yeah. This is a winter beard.

Yeah. You should feed him treats out of your beard for like a week straight and then invite somebody over like Jeff Tate and see if he thinks all beards make treats. Oh, yeah. That's a great idea. Jeff's got a really, just got a crazy homeless beard. Yeah. So I bet he would be like, that looks like a thing.

Oh man. There's a lot of cheese in that beard. Yeah. For sure. For sure. Which there probably is. Let's face it. Yeah.

Yeah. There's hot dogs in there for sure. Yeah. Why is this the best fucking dark theme ever? I'm so obsessed with it. Bart Wars? Yeah. It's perfect.

Right? Yeah. It's awesome. Spaceballs? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

You guys took all the evil out of that song. You know what it needs? What? Farts. I know. There's no farts in here. Right. Is that available?

Are you daring the audience? Let's see. Do we have that on the world? How worldwide is this web? What do we got? Has anyone done this yet? He's like, all right. He's just showing off the work or something.

Got work to do. Get the switch off for this one. He's hassled. This guy needs a metronome for real. He's way behind. He's a metronome. Like the movie changes by the time he's done with the song. Can you see George Lucas yelling at us?

He's still playing the Imperial March. Pick up the base. Lucas is like, are you going to fart when I need you to fart or not? Listen, you're fired. I got six billion in this movie. Fart for fuck's sake. Lucas is quite a beard too. Get this guy a warm Coke.

Just part boiled eggs. Come on. We got to pro tools to fart. Shit. I want an authentic fart. Does warm Coke make you fart? Problem. That was what Charlie said in college when he wanted to do like a fart kind of a day.

A theme. A fart themed event. Like light your farts on fire. Let's get like a dozen hard boiled eggs and some warm Coke. Hard boiled eggs for sure, dude. Then they smell worse than the eggs. Oh my god. Farts are rancid.

That makes me fart a lion. Yeah, those are bad farts, man. Those are real bad farts. It's weird that like some farts are worse than the other when they're all bad. I know. I'm okay with my own farts. But hate other people's farts. You should ask Jayden Smith.

These are questions Jayden would have the answers to. We should really talk to Jayden about that. If we could get him on the show, that would be the lead question. Right. How come I'm not bothered by my farts? How come zero farts can smell like nothing, but it can also smell like something? Even if no one farted. How does that work?

You know, Matt, we were talking about newscasters and how they're all opinion based. And then we didn't realize that one of them listens to our show. Listen, first of all, somebody told me that I smelled. It was Kirk. My researcher told me that I smelled or my jeans smell because I don't wash them. So that's why I got the candle, people. See, like, I remember when Anderson Cooper just did news. Yeah.

And now you know that he has jeans smell, which is obviously a shout out to the show, which I understand. Absolutely. Huge fan. But then he's like talking about candles and his opinion on like, you know what that guy thinks about everything. I know. And that's the last thing you should have from a newscaster.

What his own jeans smell like. Yeah, like we didn't know what Tom Brokaw's jeans smell like. We'll never know what Tom Brokaw's. No one's talking about that. No one will talk about that. And he wouldn't allow it. I know. He wouldn't even allow it.

No, that's that's the world we live in now. Like every single detail about your life is important because people are like tweeting it all day long. They gotta know. Well, you know, I think Oprah Winfrey started that. I'm going to credit her. She was one of the first like talk show hosts type people to tell the truth and talk about her personal shit.

And what would happen right now? So here's the thing. There's CNN, Fox News, MSNBC, all these like 24 headliners, POP, POP, POP, hold it down. There's all these different news stations. POP, hold it down. So what if there was a station? What do you think would happen if a station right now started in the cable news kind of, you know, market and what they did was they just delivered news.

Do you think people would watch it or they would still turn to the personal? I don't think I think I think we're well past that. And I think everyone A loves given their opinion. If you are on Facebook, you know that much and B just they just love that fucking jolt of anger. Yeah. Like this half of the country fucking sucks. They love hating half the country.

Nancy Grace is the whole thing. What is wrong with parents right now? She's the devil. I mean, you're taking them to movies and you don't even know what the movie's about. Or like my favorite is when she she talks out angrily against like the pedophile of the moment. He was raping kids. Now who writes little children?

Like she's taking this wild stance on the issue. Finally. Yeah. Yeah, we don't like kids for too long and no one said shit about it. We got to make some laws about this. Right. I'm glad someone finally spoke up. Right.

She's standing up for justice. Right. So ridiculous. Where is she? She's talking to me. P-O-P. P-O-P. Hold it down.

You know, people in Toledo were shouting that during shows was so funny. How do you always have a new hour of material and like new clips every week? Like, how do you stay on top of this, Tommy? I don't know where you find these clips from. Do you want to know? Yeah. Email. They are listeners.

People just email. We go through the emails. Oh, okay. Yeah. For sure. This is a listener driven. Oh, cool. Yeah.

It's a back and forth, man. Without them. Shit. You think I can just find those fart videos? You think those fart videos just come to me? That's what I'm wondering. You would need a staff, really, to find all that shit. Yeah, the mommies.

The mommies send that in. Oh, this one's great. I think we played this one before. It's one of my favorites. Meow, meow, meow, meow. Who's Nancy Gray? Tell it like it is, Nancy. The judge allows in evidence that Trayvon Martin did.

Have marijuana in his system. Marijuana. At the time he died. What difference does that make? Because I've seen too many felonies. And I don't mean pot sales or growing pot like this guy up in Connecticut. To me, it means that he is less likely to pick a fight with someone. I mean, people on pot shoot each other.

Isn't it true that when you smoke pot, you just want to lay on the sofa and eat people on pot? Yes. That's a great point. And this is Nancy Grace on Nancy Grace. You understand? Yes. Oh, they're fighting each other? Oh, I didn't know that.

Yeah, it's Nancy Grace. I didn't know that. They're both Nancy Grace. That's funny. Just showing you that she'll just get fired up about either side. Isn't it true that when you smoke pot, you just want to lay on the sofa and eat people on pot, kill families, wipe out a whole family? A common connotation pot goes with lethargy, with the munchies with wanting to eat, with

being laid back, not with chasing somebody down, jumping out from behind bushes, beating them in the head till they're pulpy, and basically starting mortal combat. That's not what you typically equate with smoking a doobie. Smoking a doobie. This woman has a law degree. Yeah. She's an attorney. She was an attorney.

Can you believe that? Yeah, it's crazy. This woman's like, she's highly educated. She's not an adult. Oh, yeah. I mean, she's prosecuted. Yeah. Yeah, she probably knows that she's just, if she does all this crazy off-the-wall shit,

she'll get paid more. Well, that's how I heard she got her gig, actually. Wasn't she reporting on OJ way back in the day? She covered some really big case back in the 90s, and the network was like, you're fantastic because she knew how to milk the moments of emotion. Yeah. And they gave her a show. She's great at that.

I just saw this. I haven't heard it, but this says that it's Kevin Hart and Ice Cube mocking Nancy Grace and they're on CNN this season. You too. There are a lot of critics out there. I want you to watch the monitors and hear well closely because this is going to be a clip from Nancy Grace. Okay.

Nancy Grace. She's a former federal prosecutor. She's a big host. We had a discussion. She does this face on time. We had a discussion yesterday, and she basically was not so subtly inferring that those who smoke dope are lazy and sit on the sofa and eat their chips. You tell them, Nancy.

Roll it. Roll it. Not a good idea. Okay. Look, I don't want, when I'm at work, I don't want my babysitter high on pot, all right? Does anybody? Do you want your children? Do you want your parents, your sister, your brother to be taken care of or driven around

by somebody on pot because it's okay in Colorado? I know people are screaming at the television agreeing with you and vehemently disagreeing with you. Okay. Look, the ones that are disagreeing are lethargic sitting on the sofa eating chips. Oh, that is amazing. And they see fat and lazy. That is amazing.

There. That's what she likes to do. Yeah. That got a little pickup on the internet. She's called my prayer pop lazy. I know. My prayer pop got glaucoma, man. And Nancy, your babysitter already high.

I just don't like Nancy's angry face. Her eyes get real big and face gets narrow. So I take it we're disagreeing with Nancy. Yeah. Listen, everybody's entitled to their own opinion. Here's my problem with these reporters, not including yourself, you're excluded from this. Just because they have an opinion and they're passionate about their opinion, it doesn't make it right.

Several people have an opinion and that's what opinions are for. Everyone has a different view on life. Yeah. So what you think is not what another person thinks. That doesn't make you right. Doesn't make them wrong. It's hard for people to come and find an agreement and find an immediate. You got to understand that.

Okay. Some people think that's great. Some people don't. Me personally. It's not my life. All right. I thought it was going to be more. I was driving around drunk and high my whole life as a kid.

It wasn't really fine with me. Those weren't really rules back in the day. No, dude. Drunk driving did not exist when I was a kid. It was just called how do you get home from the bar? Yeah. You're supposed to drive drunk. In like the fifties and sixties, people just drove around drunk with no seatbelts.

I didn't wear a seatbelt. Smashed through windows. Did you? I don't wear a seatbelt until 1988. I don't wear a seatbelt. No. Not in my life. All right.

Look, this is really important. You don't have that many chances to see the full charge live in your city. Oh, my gosh. And he's doing this crazy tour. So make sure you see him. He's going to be in San Francisco on the 29th. Yeah. At Doc.

Doc Ricketts. Doc, which is the former purple onion. That's right. Oh, cool. That's a wonderful venue. It's cool. Yeah. I just stayed up there once when it was like the last year that it was purple onion.

I got to do it. Oh, I never got to. I'm so sad. We're going to go to the anal hog cafe in Portland, which we were at. Yeah. Wonderful. First Sacramento. Sacramento on December 4th.

Tommy Tees. And then after that, Portland. Portland, Oregon. That's the fifth of December. Go see him. And then the six at the High Line in Seattle. Absolutely. Our audience knows those venues well.

Right. And I hope they all come out to see you. Those are four great cities for standards. Four great cities. Yeah, for sure. Here are our friend Matt Folstra on support what he's doing with live comedy. He's going out on his own. He's doing this independently.

Help support us and our friends who are doing it this way. How much are tickets? I think to $15. Oh, my God. And listen, it puts money in the comics, more money in the comics pocket than any other way. So please, please support it. I can tell you for sure about the anal hog and the High Line.

No two drink minimum. No, right. You get a drink if you want to drink. Just come hang out. Come hang out. Watch a show, man. Between me and you. B-Y-O-B.

I ain't saying shit. Oh, shit. My bad. My bad. You're crazy now. Just don't get caught. You can also check out the Full Charge Power Hour. Yeah.

Check out my podcast. The Full Charge Power Hour. It's a good time. And Craig's on there a lot with you. Craig Coleman's on there. And I also got Mommy's on there. Episode 17. Oh, shit.

Both the Mommy's are on. I remember. And sometimes you have a real special guest with you. Who's that? My name is Earl. Jason Lee? No, no, no. What are you talking about?

Is it Gacol? No, fuck. I just forgot his name. I blanked on his name. Who are you talking about? You're a fucking homeboy. Eric Wendell? Eric Wendell.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Eric Wendell reviews movies on there. My name is Earl. Yeah. I was thinking Earl. He's got a very Earl vibe. Sure. He's got a very back with Earl vibe.

I love the Instagram. Is it Instagram of him? Yeah. With Bluetooth? Well. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a YouTube called Eric Wendell in Traffic. And it's Eric Wendell tells it like it is.

My favorite is just like, why don't they give me a billion dollars to make a movie? I've been out here a long time. He goes, I've been out here a long time. Just living in LA. Yeah. Gives you the right to make a movie. And Jeans, we'll be in Phoenix next week. You're coming to hang with me.

Farthex. I'm just coming to hang out with my husband. Stand up live. Please come see me, Phoenix, Arizona. Farthex. Farthex, Arizona. Get it right. Give it some respect.

December 4th or 7th. It's one of my favorite clubs. Anyways, that's that. We got to go. Obi-Wan Canole made the great Peter Stain song. And we're going to play it again right now. Yeah. I like that one.

So thanks for coming, Matt. Happy Thanksgiving, Matt. Thank you for having me. Happy Thanksgiving. I hate giving. We love you. Have you heard this song yet, Peter Stain? I doubt it.

So let me preface. Just tell you this real quick. The guy, he listened to episodes where Theo appeared and talked. Yeah. He pulled that audio and then he cut it into a song where things that were said just in conversation, he made them rhyme. Okay, good. Imagine the amount of work that goes into it.

It's pretty crazy. So here it is. This is my favorite type of entertainment. Bye, guys. Peace. 01:28:58,080 --> 01:29:08,080 I'm Peter Stain. I also make some art.

Dead baby elephant. I can say whatever I fucking want. I'm Peter Stain. The biggest pussy. I love Theo Hogstall. I'm Peter Stain. I also make some art. Dead baby elephant.

I can say whatever I fucking want. I'm Peter Stain. The biggest pussy. I love Theo Hogstall. I shit on myself. It's disgusting. It's gross. I don't want to wear diapers.

My brown. Say hello. I'm Sam. My fucking head. Can't control my aggression. I ripped a woman's arm off. Reference to me is eccentric. You don't like art.

Man, what a dick. What the fuck does it matter with you, dude? I'm Peter Stain. The biggest pussy. I love Theo Hogstall. I shit on myself. It's disgusting. It's gross.

I don't want to wear diapers. My brown. Say hello. I'm Sam. My fucking head. It doesn't matter with you, dude. Like, I give a fucking shit. I love being a racist.

Fucking redneck intellectuals. Get the fuck out of here. I don't really care what your opinion is. Christina said mean stuff. Like, really mean stuff. I'm getting all emotional. Man, what the fuck? Oh my god.

Jesus Christ. Sorry. Okay. Fuck no. Oh. What emotional stuff? I love smoking crack. And Hennessy Swiggan.

And I love Mom's House podcast. Don't you get it? I'm jealous of Season 1. Christina and Tom too. Jeez, geez, geez. I love, love you. I'm Peter Stain. I also make some art.

Dead baby elephant. I can say whatever I fucking want. I'm Peter Stain. The biggest pussy. I love Theo Hogstall. I'm Peter Stain. I also make some art. Dead baby elephant.

I can say whatever I fucking want. I'm Peter Stain. The biggest pussy. I love Theo Hogstall. I also make some art. I can say whatever I fucking want. The biggest pussy. I love Theo Hogstall.

I want to say that I realized that was not Theo. The Theo song. It's the same guy that made it. That was the Peter Kane. So here's what it was. The same guy made two songs. One with Theo. That was...

So Peter Kane is a dog trainer. And we played his videos like clips. And then we had him on the show as a guest. And we had a little feud with him. So what this guy did was what I was telling you. But he did it with Peter Kane. He took just conversations and videos that that guy's made. And made it rhyme.

It's fucking amazing. So the song is called Peter Stain. The guy's name is Peter Kane. So that's it. That's our show. Bye guys. Happy Thanksgiving.