Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - PRESIDENTIAL BONUS-Episode 83-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura

Episode Date: October 17, 2016

The implications of this years election are massive and who better to way in than the Mommies! In an EXCLUSIVE interview Christina and Tom happlly welcome Peace and Freedom party nominee, Roseanne Barr. Barr is her vintage self, never holding back and sharing her policies and why she thinks she should be in the White House. This BONUS episode also has reactions from Top Dog, Tina's dad, stories from moving, and more! Plus you'll never stop wiping when you hear the teaser at the END of this episode. 

They call me jeans. I wear them jeans. Hi, bam, bam. Mommy, you've been watching entirely too much football this season. You know, I'm sorry. No, you sit and you watch for hours and I don't get the love and the pets that I deserve. This is a special edition of your mom's house. You might have not put it together, but this is a you're going to get a double dose of that.

Mommy, this week, you're getting this on a very special day. This is right before the election. This is our election episode, but we'll we'll that we'll doubly plug where we're going to be coming up. Where are you going to be, Jeans? Shit, Jeans. OK, so I just got a last minute edition. I'm going to be at the Chicago Infra Infra of the new club, the cousin of the improv. The improv November 8th through 11th, the Schomburg, Illinois,

which is actually called Chicago improv, but it's outside of Chicago. It is outside. It's a suburb. I'm not confused. That's what you're asking. It's a suburb. And then the next week, I'm going to be shit. I don't even remember where I'm that's how you do a cold medicine. Yeah, brain.

Yeah, we're working hard for you crazy. Oh, Hartford, Connecticut, the following week. I will be in Hartford, Connecticut. You got to say, say what up, my boy, Maddie Stowe, when you're out there, OK? Oh, of course. He's going to pick you up. I will be let's see this week. You guys can see me on the Death Squad Ohio tour.

I hope you're coming out Dayton, Cincinnati and Columbus. If you go to Tom Segura dot com, you go to the live shows. I have links to all the venues. It's small venues. So this is a very, you know, private, intimate kind of thing. And I got the great red band with me, Tony. What's his name? Oh, my God, I just broke a box.

Oh, shit. It's Tony's last name. Hinch, Hinchcliff, Hinchcliff, Hinchcliff. And then in Columbus, the great Doug Benson will join us. So it's a good show. Yeah, that's going to be a lot of fun. And people can be so close to you, they can hear your your guts gurgling the way I can hear you gurgle all the time.

And then I'll also be jeans it up. I'm going to be in Madison, Madtown, Madison Comedy Club on State Street, November 15, 16, 17, and I just got added. People have been always asking me, Northern California, I'm coming to San Francisco. That's right. Yeah, right before Christmas, the 21st, 22nd, 23rd. So if you're staying in San Francisco for the holidays,

come see your boy at Cobbs 21st or 23rd. I think I'm going to be up there with Chris Porter, who's a friend of ours, and that should be a lot of fun. I might come with you and do guest spots. Oh, did you just hear that? Are you ready to start the show? This is so exciting. Let's do it, mommy mother of a show here.

Hello, citizens. This is Bazel Marceau dot com. I'm a Republican candidate for governor of Tennessee. I want you to put me in this building, the capital behind me here. So I can do my issues. Hmm. Don't bring anyone loving to this. Don't burn me in the fucking sand.

Welcome, welcome to your mom's house. With Tom Segura, Tom Segura, and Christina Pashitski. Christina Pashitski. Welcome to your mom's house. That was the Tennessee guy? Yeah, man. Not doing a lot to stop those negative stereotypes about toothless Tennessee guys, huh? Hey, guys, that's Bazel Marceau.

I would I would have never found a known. I mean, it was a pretty popular clip, but I just got I finished and it's airing now. This this web show I did for Comedy Central that Kyle Kanena is hosting called 30 Seconds Over Washington. And if you go to the if you just Google 30 Seconds Over Washington, yes, or Google it, or you go to the indecision page on Comedy Central, you look it up, it's everywhere now. It was in USA today.

Oh, get out. Yeah, so it actually blew up a little bit. Oh, that's awesome. So I worked on that shit for I know it was a long project. You were writing in that we were in Africa. Yeah. And I was also writing in it on it about a month and a half before we left to Africa and for about a month and a half after Africa.

But it was it was a lot of fun and it's really funny. And it's basically we pull all types of campaign ads from the last 30 years, 40 years, 50 years and including, you know, all the stuff going on now. Kyle hosts it and he's phenomenal. And Bridenstine, Mike Bridenstine also wrote on it. And it was really funny. And that was one of the I mean, we used an extended version of that clip, but the guy's ridiculous and it's just a funny show.

Oh, I remember when you were pulling clips and I'd walk in, you're like, you have to see this. Everyone is crazier than the one before it. They're great. Yeah. So that's pretty exciting. Please check that out if you if you can and, you know, leave a comment. It'd be fun.

This is our special, you know, changing of the guard, possibly. This is the presidential election episode of your mom's house. Who is more in tune with what's going on in politics than your two mothers? Yes, of course. I follow it. I'm a rabid political fanatic. See an editor. You love it.

There's Candy Crowley. There's the other lady and then there's you. I know so little about politics and in all honesty, I'm I because I know who I'm going to vote for. I know what's what's on my agenda. I know where I'm at and I feel like most people are like actually most people are like that. Don't you think? Yeah, I don't know.

I mean, yeah, I guess I don't know what most people all I know is that I feel like I don't even know what information is real and like you can't even watch. You don't even know what the facts are because Fox News reports it one way. CNN reports it another way. I just feel like it's all smoke and mirrors. Tommy, I hear you. It doesn't make you cynical to about that world. It does a little bit.

Yeah, because I feel like it's all the same, except with different people, different players. But then it's hard to not be that. You know, it's hard to not be like, this is all bullshit. I know. But here's what I mean when I say that I think most people are like that. Most people, you realize all the campaigning that you see, everything, the ads and all that, that's not for the, let's say, the pool of voters.

That's for the six, seven percent who could be swayed. That's who decides elections, because most people are like you and they're like me and they're like everybody. Most people like, I got it. I know what I'm for. Most people are like, I'm this or I'm that. And then there's that six, seven percent that will be like, you know, I'm going to switch.

I'm going to go this way or that way. That's who it's for. Isn't that crazy? I think about all that money is spent for that percentage. Yeah, it is, but it's also kind of awesome. And it's really awesome when people take life by the balls and they pull really hard and they decide to run for president as, as the first person that we're going to bring out to be interviewed is, but, but you know,

what else happens when you pull life by the balls? What's that? You move from one house to another before we get there. Yeah. We are not even here. Here's the reason I say that just because I don't want to be cynical. And after talking to that person who we're going to bring up today, we have, we have one of the, we have for real in a few moments, in a few minutes.

We have one of the presidential candidates on the show. Yeah. And this is not a joke. No, this isn't, this is for reals. And after talking to this person, I realized that my cynicism is fucking lame. Why am I so cynical? Why shouldn't I try? Why shouldn't I care?

Because I care about issues and I talk about them on stage. It's also easy to be cynical, right? It's easier. It's lazier to just not give a shit and it's harder to try. Yeah. Yeah. But anyways, I feel, you know what it is? I feel defeated because we've spent the last week in moving hell packing.

We're both beat down, literally, figuratively. Like I, on the episode that you heard last week, I was like, I was barely getting through it. I'm kind of coming to the end of it. You now have it. Now I have your aides. You have my aides. We also are physically and mentally drained from just the, you know, the, if you've moved, you know what it's like.

And this was a big move for us as, you know, moving truck, hiring movers and, you know, all the bullshit that goes involved and transfer. I didn't even transfer it. Have to shit. I need to transfer. No, we just came here yesterday. We just moved in here and we were in a room. We're surrounded by boxes.

It's all, it smells like, you know, that box smell. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. And priority number one was unpack. Remember like how much we were like the podcast shit goes in the car, not in the moving truck and we set it up first thing. Um, and, uh, yeah, it was, we haven't even set up our bed properly, but the podcast first and foremost, you know, what's fucking really crazy is cause we

haven't, we packed up the kitchen a couple of days ago. We've just been eating out of restaurants just in the last three or four days. Now I have already gained, I would say like seven pounds just eating out of the house, just eating like tacos. Just restaurants, restaurant after restaurant. Yeah. Fucking fatter than ever. I feel like shit.

Can I tell you what I'm happy about? What's that? Jean's this morning. I feel like I got my dick back. Right. Had a real dick scare the other day when we moved. You've never had that before. So here's what happened.

I'm standing in the house and, uh, the movers come in and then I, I go, you know, I go take a leak and I noticed walking around that my peener is really in withdrawal. In other words, it's not just hanging low. I mean, hanging high, tiny. It, the head is retracting into my body where it looks like I'm uncircumcised and it's, it's like shriveling. Like I almost feel like somebody put a spell on it and I get scared and I keep pulling the sheath around the side and making the head pop out.

Cause it makes me feel better to know the heads out and it keeps going back in. And I pulled you the side and I said, Hey, I think my dog's shrinking. Right. But you and I said, well, let me see it. We were in the kitchen and the movers were moving in the living room. Yeah. You refused to show me. I didn't want to show you.

You said I can't show this to you right now. It was really, it was a new level of like, you know, there's like every guy knows like, ah, I'd like a little more juice in this right now. You know, you fluff it, you give it the old like, huh, you give it a couple of smacks and it grows a little bit. Right. This was levels smaller than that, where it was like something's going on. Like a baby peener.

It looked like a, like a small, not quite a baby peener. It looked like a fetal peener. So I got nervous. But then we were talking about it later and you had a good theory. I think you're right. I think it's fighter flight. It was fighter flight. And here's why.

There's four strange men in my home and my wife was around and it was cave man shit where my brain was telling my dogs, this is, look, you're always thinking about this stuff. This is not the time. Right. It was straight and it was like, you need to protect your home and protect your woman and your, and your property. I think that was a primal.

Exactly. I was doing all kinds of running. You were watching the cave opening to make sure that animals don't come in and take your woman and your property and your land. You were managing the other alpha males in the pack and the tribe. And your body said to you, Hey, dummy, now is not the time for boners. Right. We're shutting down the boner factory.

And you're going to not think about your dick for maybe a whole day. How's that feel? Yeah. And, but you didn't, you didn't think about your genitals for. Well, I thought now I thought about, but you're right. I didn't have. Cock thoughts, right? You weren't thinking, who can I shove this in now?

Whose mouth will accept my penis? Where can I put this? What your constant thought pattern, right? I'm assuming it's nonstop for you. Right. Right. Where can I put my dick? Where, where, where?

Right. And then, and you, and you actually, cause I was like, it's something that you're like, no, stupid, here's what's going on. And then a great thing happened about five or six this morning. I got up and go to the bathroom. I get, I take a leak and I go, I got my dick back. So it was out of its scared state. And then I was just having just crazy cock thoughts.

What can you share? I mean, I just was like, I was fired up. But I mean, I just was like ready to, I mean, I knew you were like, I'm sick. So I couldn't like wake you up. But I just, well, I appreciate it. First of all, thank you for, for not waking me up while I was feeling ill. Yeah. To penetrate me.

That was really considerate of you. But I just feel like, you know, I just kind of need something. If you don't mind someone or some, you know, a couple of people to just like a, like a come dog, you know, like, uh, something to just be there. Come here, come dog. Yeah. And then, and then, but not an actual dog. No, no, a person, person, but I'm nicknaming the person.

You know, a come dog, a come dog. Yeah. Or that that's like there, you know what I mean? Like somebody, like, uh, everybody has, like, you know, there's different services, different service industries. This is somebody who's just, it's like a foot massage for your peener. Right. That's called a foot job.

And, oh, okay. And we could hire maybe some third world person. Yeah. Well, we could keep them in our home in a small room. Can we put a, maybe put a, um, a call out to our listeners? If you want to say. Uh, hey, if anybody wants to, uh, sign up to be my come dog, um, I'll give you a poster, wow, we got to figure out some way to give away.

I have a cool poster to give away. Oh yeah. It's a big poster and we can both sign it and it's massive. Okay. Well, it's, we have to think of something for these people to do though. I know. Can't just give away a life size, Tom's a girl poster. It's huge poster.

I don't know what to do. Can I tell you that that, you know, it's so funny is that the thought of you having a sexual servant, it's not like when I'm feeling like I am right now and I'm just out, it feels to you, doesn't it? Well, because I'm like, you know what? What's the big deal? Yeah. Someone's going to service my husband.

So I don't have to right now. I don't feel good. Yeah. No harm, no foul. She's not, she's not going to produce your offspring. That's my job. I'm the bottom bitch. Right.

And I'm the vessel through which your child will come into the world eventually one day. Sure, it's just a come dog. It's just a philtic. And look, I'll put her on a leash. I'll walk her around. I'll feed her. Yeah.

And then out back, I go, I got something out back and you know what that means. And then a few minutes later, I come back and I go, all the plants are trimmed. And, you know, you know what happens. It's implicit. Now, do I get to have a come dog, a Puerto Rican boy? You don't want a come dog. How do you know that? Because I know you.

How do you know I don't have needs for a Puerto Rican pull boy? Because there's no, the, the thing about being a woman is that not you. Well, they hear this magic. Yeah. The guys tell me you want to be milked 24 seven and we, we even, we pull back sometimes I pull back all the time, you know, saying what I want. And that's why the come dog comes in play and that's a good thing to have. But as a woman, is there really times where you're like, I wish I could ask Tom

to bang one out, but I just can't. No, there's nuts. You don't need one. But there's times when you're on the road, you're going to be out on the road now for the next week and I'm all alone. To shame, my friend. In this new helm full of boxes. They're so heavy.

I cannot leave. I can't leave all these boxes. I need a Puerto Rican guy to lift it for me. The problem is those, you can't trust dudes. That's the problem with getting you a male. So it's not me. That's the problem. It's dudes.

Dudes are the problem. That's right. Yeah, no, it's true. You can't, because I can get you a female come dog. She can just squat on her box or she can squat on your box or something like that. But then the problem, you know, we'd file a time. Broads are, but it's not your, it's not your significant other. It's just a come dog.

It's just out there. We, you know what? We can share the same come dog. How about that? I don't want to share your come dog. She's out back. She's tied up. She's tied up to the yard post.

Just go back there. Go back there. You sit on her face. You come back to the house. And this is our special Terrible presidential edition. All right. All right.

Now, jeans, why don't you introduce our special, special actual presidential candidate? Yeah. Well, let's talk about how this came about. It's a long story, but here's the short of it. We do absentee ballots because we travel so much and I was filling out my absentee ballot and I was like, holy mother fuck, Rosanne Barr is on this. And on the actual real about not like when people are

like, not a newspaper article, but here's people running for president. Right. It's like the ballot that you're filling out. This is a real candidate now. Right. And also most people think, and I had known that she was running, you know, and but you think like, oh, a comedian running for president. How funny and cool is that?

And then you think it's a joke, but she's been at this for like 14 months. And then to see the ballot, you're like, oh my God, this is this is like legit. She's really doing. Oh, yeah. Yeah. So I, you don't make it to the ballot with just like, I'd like to do this. It's, you know, I mean, it's so hard. It's so hard to become a presidential candidate.

She filled out all this paperwork and did all this hard work. And so anyway, she filled out all this paper. No, no, I'm sorry. I thought it's so stupid. No, Kate, here's why I say that. No, wait, I'm sorry. I'm so retarded. She got a mortgage.

She filled out all this paperwork. You got to pick up a pencil and you got to sharpen it. No, here's how I meant to say that. Cause I know, um, first of all, let me back it up. I'm friends with the family. I grew up with a Roseanne's daughter. We've been best friends since we were like 12 years old. Yeah.

So I knew about this whole thing for a while. But you know, when someone tells you like, oh, you know, my aunt Sheila is running for president, you're like, yeah, sure she is crazy aunt Sheila just running. You know, so her assistant, Becky was like, you wouldn't believe how, how much paperwork is to nominate someone to become a candidate for the presidency? And she was sitting down telling me like the amount of paperwork you have to do. And I was like, oh, it sounds like the worst thing ever. So that's why I said it's a lot of paperwork.

Cause I remember her telling me about the amount of paperwork. So anyways, we got a hold of Roseanne and she agreed to, to have an interview with me and talk about, talk about her candidacy for president. And look, we're going to stop this at certain points. But we thought this is an actual, this is a real presidential candidate. And it's, it's pretty cool that she agreed to come on your mom's house. And so we're, we're going to play the interview in full and, you know, just kind of go throughout it.

And, and right. And just so you know, like I totally expected it to be way more like light hurted and funny. And I was kind of startled because she was so legit. Like if I was, because you forgot you're talking like in this case, she's a real presidential candidate. Yeah. No, I don't blame you.

I know her as, as her and not as this. So I was a little like, oh my gosh, this is real. Yeah. And she's so passionate and so well spoken and articulate about it. She's really into this man. This is no joke. Just a bag of dope, as usual. All right.

So. Well, here is a Roseanne Barr and Christina talking about her run for the presidency. And that's not it. Yeah. We're running on fumes. Yeah. Yeah. We're pretty worn down guys.

We'll say it again. That's Christina. No, no, no, no. Oh, that's me asking because the recording says this calls me record. I didn't know if Roseanne heard it when she picks up. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Because I'm a fucking movie. Hello. Hi. It's Christina. Hi, Christina. How are you? Good. How are you?

Good. What are you, are you in Hawaii or are you in LA? No, I'm in LA. Oh, OK. Yeah, thank you for doing this. This calls being recorded, just so you know. Yeah, I just gathered that one that said this calls being recorded. I'm a fucking asshole.

So I'm calling you because I got my ballot in the mail, my absentee ballot. And I was like, holy shit, Roseanne's on this, which is crazy. For many reasons. You did not know? I thought you knew. I did know, but I didn't really, you know how I didn't think in until you see it and writing and you're like, oh, my God, this is real. And I mean, people know you, but I also know you in real life.

So this is like a double whammy. This is so crazy. How did this come about? Well, after a lot, a lot of work, about 14 months of like really pushing, getting, you know, filling out a lot of papers, going to commission, going to the state, doing a lot of work and having a lot of people do the work for me and around me, getting vetted, you know, tons of work. What it takes to get on the ballot is kind of the point of why I did it.

It's arduous and you've got to know the right people and you have to push the right buttons and all that stuff. It's pretty much set up to keep anybody like me from getting on. But yet I had such a smart people on my team that I was able to do it. Yeah, but it's so, I love it. I think it's so great because if it's one thing I love, it's sticking it to the man and doing it your way. And that's so, so why now?

Like, why go into politics now? What prompted you? Well, I've always been like peripherally involved and interested in it. And just, just, you know, it increased over the years. Particularly when I, I've always been really afraid of Romney. I'm from Salt Lake City, Utah. So I've always been horrified of Romney and I kind of made a vow that if Romney was anywhere near the ballot, I was going to be right next to him.

I love when somebody, a lot of times people make these vows in life. Just with situations like they'll be like, oh, you know, if, if Obama gets reelected, I'm moving to Canada like that. But I love that she really, she took one of those kind of throwaway sentences that you would come up with and she went full, like she was like, if Romney runs for president or if he gets, I'm running for, I'm going to be right next to him. That's how much I hate somebody. Oh, it's so, it's so awesome.

I really do respect that a lot. And she just over-eaten up in a major way and was like, I don't like this guy so much. Yeah, I'm going to do it. I'm going to run for president. More than anything to get to where she is right now, that's just a lot of work. Like to get, didn't she say paperwork? And you know what?

I take back everything that's paperwork because this is mostly about paperwork. It is about it. No one likes comedians, especially don't like paperwork. Really lazy. Not Rosanne, man. No, no, no, except for all comedians are lazy. Even like we are inherently lazy. Absolutely.

Every comedian is lazy. That's what makes this that much more, you know, impressive as a task because we don't like to do stuff. But isn't it a trip to hear her talking like so official right now? You're like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Here we go. This is the same person who's so funny and yeah. And so that's kind of what pushed me because that guy is, uh, you know,

he's just somebody I want to oppose. I don't like any of his policies. I don't like him. I don't like the people who, I don't like, uh, what the people who support him stand for and say. So, you know, I just want to get in his face and also because I, and also honestly because I've given a lot of thought to, um, problems in our country and I, you know, instead of doing what other people in America do, which is just to sit on

their ass and blame other people, I decided to confront it straight on and actually come up with solutions out of my own mind, not a book, not a playbook, not a Republican or democratic, uh, you know, um, guru. Um, I made it my own solutions. I did a lot of research and I do a lot of reading and I feel like I am. Unique, uniquely qualified to sit, uh, in, in the Oval Office more than any other candidate on the ballot seriously because I figured out how to fix all of the problems, uh, our country and largely the world faces.

And if you want to read about those, you can go to my website, rosandworld.com, all of my ideas, all of my speeches, all of my platform, uh, all of my history is there and also another one. Rosanne for president 2012.org. Well, you know, she does also have the quality that anybody that runs for president has to have, and this means, I mean, across the board, especially the, like people that get far in it. You have to have tremendous faith in yourself and you have to have a tremendous

ego to, you do, to run for, to be, to be president, just to have the aspiration to get there. Right. I mean, to be a performer, you have to have an ego, of course, to lead a nation and all the world. It's, it's a lot of responsibility. I don't, that's not a jab. Like that's what, I mean, Obama, our current president has said this in interviews.

Like, yeah, you know, I have a huge ego. Like it's not a, it's not like a surprise to say that if you run for president, you have a huge ego, you know, right? But I think she also has a pretty good sense of responsibility. It's not just like a mindless, like power hungry thing. She really cares. I'm just saying that you have to really like, to make claims like I can solve the world's problems.

You know, that's pretty extreme, right? I love it. Um, that also has all of my positions, all of my writing, all of my speeches, and, uh, and all of my solutions. So if anybody's truly interested in, uh, investigating what I stand for and why I'm running and, uh, what I'm saying, they might want to do that since I did make it to the ballot, they might want to be interested in. I'm totally curious now, by the way, to read all this stuff.

I did today. It was pretty great. It's great. What all hurt. Yeah, I'm totally curious. You got to look at, there's nothing about it. There's a PDF. It shows how she had to submit, uh, for this, like all the, all the paperwork you

about paperwork and you can, you can read in great detail her positions. I want to know what her positions are on things. I absolutely do. She'll tell you a little bit about what I represent and who I represent for. Yeah, I think that Mitt Romney is, um, a real demon seed. Uh, I don't know. Have you heard what, um, that often Richard Murdock just said about, right? Uh, well, I guess, you know, here that increasingly more ridiculous stuff

that, that, uh, the Republicans say every, every single day. So what was the latest thing that you're talking about? Um, so Richard Murdock, he's the, um, Indiana Senate candidate and he said, this is his quote about rape, even when life begins in that horrible situation of rape, that is something that God intended to happen. Oh yeah, I've heard that one. I just want people to know if they go to my website to also read that they're in 31 states, another, another fact is there are 31 states where if you are

impregnated by rape, your rapist can, uh, if you, if you are unable to have an abortion, which, you know, that's what the Republicans want, um, then your rapist can co-parent the child that you carry. This is so crazy. This is so awful that that is a reality. I cannot get over that. I wonder what state she's talking about. It's got to be 31.

That's, oh shit. 31 states. I was so shocked by the other part. I didn't even hear the number when she said that to me. I'm like, that is bananas. Oh, in 31 states, the rapist has rights to, uh, the child. So you might want to take a look at that too. And of course nobody talks about that either, but that's also, um, on my page

and, uh, just Google it if you don't believe me. Hey, there you go. 31 states. Google it. She Googles it too, man. If a woman's raped and unable to get a board, then you have to go to court with your rapist so they can have visitation for the, for the, uh, child that you birth by force in this free United States of America, the land of the

free. Whoa, man. Whoa. Can I tell you though? Cause I, you know, when I was doing this interview, like I didn't really, I get to listen to it now and I really admire Rosanne's of a different generation. She's of like the, the sixties and the seventies of like these people that actually gave a shit generation.

You can hear that she is, um, passionate. Right. Like our parents are, I believe her passion, right. And I miss that. I don't feel like we get that. I don't think our people are age, give a shit as much as people her age. There's more apathy in people like me that are like, I don't know. I don't get it.

I don't know anything. I got to change. She's inspiring me. Yeah. Yeah. That's good. Yeah. Let's see what else she has.

So this is presidential candidate, Roseanne Barr. It's unbelievable. It is, but it is believable and people should start believing it instead of shaking their heads and saying, this is unbelievable. No, it's not. No, it's not. It's not unbelievable at all. It's reality.

Yes, it is. And it's very scary. And I'm glad that you're running and actively doing something about it as opposed to just sitting around and hating it like I do. Yeah. Well, you know, that's what women are trained for is to just sit back and be victims and complain, but that's not me. I've never been that way and I never will be that way.

And, uh, you know, and, uh, I really advise other women to not continue to be that way either. You know, you're not that way. Christine, you're out there doing things in your comic and comic is a, you know, pretty much a holy, it's a holy mission. And I've seen your, your comedy and, you know, you're taking it right to the edge. And I'm proud of you for that. So don't, don't put yourself down.

You are being political. You are being active. You are speaking out. You are staying aware and you know, you're, you're doing what you need to do. I mean, how great is that approval? I just, I need maternal approval. So bad. And that was so nice that Roseanne Barr said that she's a nice lady.

I really, you got to plug from one of the, one of the greats right there, man. It's pretty nice. You know what's so sad though? Like my own mom and I don't get along very well. Like I seriously like to have a maternal person approve of me. I'm like, Oh, like when she said that, I was like, Oh yeah, thanks mom. Yeah. It's just like I am in my head.

You're not sick. It's not sick. Yeah. That's sweet. Yeah. Well, I mean, coming from you, I really appreciate that. Yeah. Cause I do think I think that women now are, I agree with you.

It's way more apocetic. And to me, it seems the culture is getting way more superficial and dumber than it was. I don't know, maybe 10 or 15 years ago. Like I watched TV now and it, the sitcoms are just so fucking depressing and sad and it's all about, I don't know. It's all about bullshit. I don't see anything.

I mean, how do you feel? You had a show that changed everything and now it just seems like it's all bullshit. Why is that? Cause it is all bullshit. That's why it seems that way cause it is. I love, I love, there's one quality I just love in people. I don't care who you are, what walk of life. I'd love that directness in people.

I love it. I did too. They just go like, I did too bullshit. I get, I can listen to this. I can sit down and listen to that person talk all day. Do you think that Mitt Romney would ever say that in an interview? Soy Mitt Romney. No, or, or Obama.

Yeah. Cause it is bullshit. I mean, that's pretty fucking cool. Um, yeah, it's just like that's that, that kind of stuff just appeals to no end to me to have that, that type of, you know, you just don't see that. Yeah, it is. It really is, man. Because you know what, but you know what's fucked up, Tommy, is that we're

so not used to hearing people give their real opinion and be honest that when somebody does it, it's, it's a revolutionary thing. Yeah. And it shouldn't be that way. I don't know why Americans bulk it at just saying what they think, what they really think and feel, and I don't know why it's so shocking that someone will say, Hey, that's fucking bullshit. It's really pathetic.

I feel like most people want what we're talking about. We want like most people want that, but then there's this group of people who are like, no, put this veil over it. Like, don't be directly, but do anything. Our listeners, I think our listeners, our listeners are a hundred percent down with speaking, of course, and not with a particular candidate. I'm saying, we're just being fucking honest, keeping it real. Keeps it real, man.

She did. Wait, my bitch nigga, buy your own damn fries. Now you know that guy ain't shit. Sorry, his mother fucker got nothing on me, right? Nothing. They're white folks and then they're ignorant motherfuckers like you. I mean, there you go. I was Obama.

Oh my God. That was a, oh shit, I lost my place in our interview. I'm very faking, you know. I really wish Obama would say that. Something about it, as opposed to just sitting around and hanging in there and, you know, you're taking it right to the end, you know, maybe 10 or 15 years ago. Like I watch TV now and the succumbs are just so fucking depressing and sad and it's all about, I don't know, it's all about bullshit.

I don't see anything. I mean, how do you feel? You had to show the change, everything. And now it just seems like it's all bullshit. Why is that? Cause it is all bullshit. That's why it seems that way. Cause it is.

Give yourself permission to step over the line, man. Step over there. Yeah. Yeah, it is all bullshit. Every fucking bit of it, every goddamn last bit of it is nothing but bullshit. And that's why you should be our president. That is why, and not just that, not just that I have the guts to, to tell the truth and to fearlessly look into the face of it, but also more than that, I think, is

that I'm the only candidate who A, writes their own speeches and B, thanks for themselves, and, and C has actually invented actual solutions to problems. And I'd like to run them down for you since we are talking about that. Give it to us. Here are my solutions. Yeah. Here are my solutions and the things I would do if, you know, if elected president of the United States, I would pick up the federal reserve exactly.

That would be my first thing to do exactly as Iceland did. And that would cause an immediate economic recovery in this country as it did in Iceland, because it would no longer go by fiat currency. We would move instead to the gold standard, much like Iceland did and like Putin, like Putin wants to do, which is the reason why we want to go to war in Iran. So this is just currency wars. People mistakenly call that oil wars, but it's about currency. And currency is all about the federal reserve and the International Monetary

Fund. And you should read about that, because that's what determines how many people are going to starve to death this year. And, you know, for business reasons, of course, for profit. And I'm forgetting rid of that entire obsolete patriarchal system and replacing it with a system that actually works for human beings, not, not just for a very few at the expense of the many, but for all. And, you know, the federal reserve would have to go. And I would also make sure that, you know, to take it to the United Nations, that

we would also, at this time in this new century, be done with slavery in any form and also with usury, which again ties into the federal reserve and the IMF and fiat currency. We would no longer be dependent on the, on enslaving human beings to make profit. You know what I think she's referring to, because usury, I had to look it up. It's when you can't pay back a debt. So, for instance, on her website, it talks about like a student loan debt, which right now in 2010, she said in 2010, I think the average person graduates from

undergrad with like $25,000 of debt. That's surprisingly low. I think it's more than that. Cause that's about what I graduated with. I think I graduated undergrad with 18,000. Two weeks in law school cost me $6,000. That's crazy. A two week mistake.

So I think it's, oh, she wants to abolish that, but debt, like forgive the debt. Student loan debt. Yeah. Yeah, man. Why not? You can't start a life. You know how hard it, well, you know how hard it is. You start your life as a 20 year old kid.

Yeah, but think about that business proposal right there. Just forgive student loans. Hey, man, Trozan's world. I know. I'm just saying, I think that's, well, there's gotta be a way, right? There's some solution. Well, yeah, I don't think forgiving student loan debt is it? I mean, you didn't just let all people that owe money.

Let them go. No. And then, and then free keggers for everybody. That's the point. Oh, keggers. Yeah. That is a good idea. You should be on her, maybe I can help her with her economic policy.

I have a firm grasp of all of this. Should we? Sorry. Yeah. No, no, I just didn't know. Do you want to keep playing this? Um, I mean, let her finish out her policy. I want people to know what she stands for.

This is not our usual interview, but it's pretty unique circumstance. Yeah, it's pretty simple. This is a bonus episode, right? This is an extra episode. I think it's pretty unique to have the actual presidential candidate who is also a world famous comedian talking to you about their position. Well, let's hear what else she has to say. That's not the way the world should be anymore.

We're smarter than that. And, uh, you know, so, uh, I think that it's time for that, uh, time for peace and solutions, time for a green economy, it's time for like people to invest in America and actually invest in food and things that are going to help us put food into the mouths of the hungry people. If indeed we can put satellites all over the earth and on every planet, we can figure that out and we should. Otherwise we're just lemmings and I'm against the lemming rule and I'm against

the lemmings thought and, uh, that seems to be exactly where, where we're at. The other thing I would do is to nationalize Monsanto before another country does it because it's an international, uh, uh, corporation and another country, such as Iceland or Spain, or one of these others who want to, you know, move off of, of our, of our petrodollar system. Another country will definitely, uh, nationalize that all having to do with Monsanto. I'd like to see the United States do it because United States built a middle

class by agriculture after World War II farmland and then growing, uh, food for the world. We were the bread back to the world. I'd like to see us return our economy to that. And that means to, to the, uh, I like that I like nationalizing Monsanto. Definitely. And I think that's a fantastic position.

Well, too. And this used to, we used to have a pretty healthy middle class and it doesn't exist. Any more offices of the small family farms rather than huge international farming, which is just basically inventing plastics for people to eat and, and cause cancer where they, where the same people then get a payoff for cancer treatment. So, you know, it's like consolidating everything in the fewer and fewer hands means that somebody like Romney owns insurance companies. And with that money, he, uh, you know, gets payoffs when, when, uh, people get

cancer and when they have cancer treatment, he gets payoffs by keeping the drug wars going. Every time a teenager is arrested and put in prison, the Romney conglomerates make money there too. When, when they're locked up, when they're put in prison, the one they are used as a manufacturing base for, for American labor, which is what it is now because 90% of the house paint manufactured in the United States of America at this time is manufactured by prison labor and how they keep those

prisons full is how this economy runs as well as how many people we kill in Iraq or Afghanistan or Syria or any place else we're going. That's a dollar in Romney's pocket. Um, I do think it's, uh, about as evil as it ever has been and it continues to threaten to get even more, more evil. And at the expense of civil rights and individual rights and, uh, everything that America was about, you know, has gone threatened and under attack. So that's the, uh, more reasons why I'm running for president.

And there won't be anybody like, just want to say there won't be another candidate like me after this year. It won't, they won't, nobody is going to be allowed to get on the ballot. 2016, there probably won't be any third parties on the ballot. This is the year. 2012 is the year. That's pretty incredible. I think she might be right.

That they'll, they'll make it way harder for somebody to run. Yeah. Well, uh, so that's, there you have it, you guys. And if you agree with Rosanne, uh, vote for her. You can go to rosanneworld.com and check out her stances. If you want to know more. Mm hmm. Um, I love it.

I love her tenacity. I love her braveness. I love that she's doing this. She's also has, um, Rosanne for president 2012.org. Pretty interesting stuff. It is a unique, um, you know, candidate, unique position to get it. And she did it, man. She's on the ballot.

She is, we mistakenly say, uh, a couple of times here in the, in the, in some other recordings that she was green party. You thought she was, but she's peace and freedom party. Right. So there are the, in the, on the, I think on the, uh, ballot, there was green Republican, libertarian, peace and freedom democratic. I think those are all of them that were on the ballot. Um, so we discussed this afterwards.

You had this call where like, wow, it's pretty incredible. And, uh, we decided, I mean, how do you decipher put information like this? Well, who do you talk to to really get guidance in your life? Who do you decide on, you know, who to vote for? I, I go to my elders. I go to my, my father. Yeah. Cause he knows what the fuck is up.

My dad's lived through a lot of stuff. Dad's knows what dads knows what he's the only dad I ever know. They knows what to do. Yeah. Uh, so yeah, we asked our dads, we asked our dads to, uh, to weigh in, um, and, and tell us what they thought. Um, and we, uh, we got, we got real into it, man. Like our dads didn't pull any punches, right?

Well, you know, in the line of, uh, of honoring people that speak their minds, our dads are not a couple of dads that hold back very, very direct dad. They're going to say what the fuck they want, when they want. So first up, um, we got top dog. Um, sharing some of his views and, um, well, you know what that means. Hey, buddy, it's top dog. Hey, buddy, it's top dog. Hey, buddy, it's top dog.

You need to write down it's top dog. Now I'm not going to lie. I mean, you guys know top dog, he's old school, he's Marine, conservative. We get right into it, man. Um, here's what he had to say. Hello. Hey, buddy. Hey, buddy, how are you doing pretty good?

What's up, bro? Well, we, um, we got the, uh, official green party candidate. That's right. Fucked up. He told me. He's in freedom. Sorry. What part of candidate?

The green party candidate. Ah, peace and freedom. I know. Shit. Uh, who's Roseanne Barr? Remember the television star on this KS? Oh, yeah. Oh, I can't stand her.

Oh, no. Oh, really? Why? Oh, jeez. Oh, I just think, I mean, she's so obnoxious, you know, yeah, she, I mean, she is, you know, in her positions are not supported by research or just, oh, jeez. She, she, the basis for her opinions is just by being loud. Again, he know what he's a patriarchy.

That's why top dog. Oh, yeah? This is patriarchal nonsense. Oh, yeah. This is good. All right. You know, a hurricane is, is there and you have to deal with it. This is like her.

Oh, jeez. Right. Okay. She's like a hurricane. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, she is. Oh, top dog.

I mean, Jesus. Do you think what are, what are her chances of winning this election? What do you think? Okay. I think the chances that the next Olympics will be on Mars are greater than her winning this election. Wow. And that would be the 2016 Olympics and the 20, I think this is, well, I'm glad you

clarified, Tommy. Thank you. Thanks. So I think the 2020 Olympics, yeah, I think they'd be greater for her to have those on Mars than her to win the election. You guys are knocking my candidate here. She didn't have a good show though. I like her show a lot.

Did you like her show? No. What? You know, I don't like most liberal shows. It's not really a liberal show. No, but that's top dog, man. The one I do actually like, believe it or not, is Ellen DeGeneres, not liberal. Yeah, that's a top show.

I know I like her show. He loves Ellen. What do you think in general? Can you process that for a second? No, I know he goes, I don't like liberal. And then Ellen, who's like, who's the biggest lesbian liberal on the planet? He's like, I like Ellen. He likes Ellen.

You know why though? Because Ellen's not loud and in your face and Roseanne is loud and in your face. Right. And he doesn't like it because it's not ladylike. And I think Roseanne would be like, oh, he doesn't like a broad that talks, but she doesn't know who he's married to. He doesn't like a broad that talks. All right.

Well, about equals. Well, you know, they have this, this, this unrealistic view of the world. They don't understand that everything in life has to be paid for by somebody. And the theory is we'll just get the rich to pay for it. Well, when you run out of rich, then how are you going to do it? So I think that, I think that they confused good intentions with reality. And the reality is there's not enough money to go around. What?

Are there a shortage of rich people now? I don't think there's ever been a shortage of the wealthy. Uh, well, yeah, he's saying that that's the, the problem with like, um, like left leaning economic policies is that, no, they're always are saying, you know, they're always adding things to, to pay for it. There's a spending problem. You know what I'm saying? Yeah.

But then, you know, just charge it to Richie, charge it to the man. That's what he's, that's what he's saying. Take, take down whitey. That's what I'm saying. I, I like that policy, but that policy isn't okay. That's, that's a good policy. But what, where's the money? The man, look, the man's got all the money.

What the, Roseanne's right. The, you know, the man's got all the money and we got to take down the man. You should be her spokes. I am, I am. Now, do you, what is your position on the two, let's say favored candidates, realistic, possible winners, Romney and Obama? What do you think of Romney as a candidate? Well, you know, I think I, I'm voting for Romney.

Can you believe that? Can you believe that? I love him so much. And the only reason that, like, it's hard for me to, to process this. But I go, uh, the only reason actually that I can deal with him saying that is because he is well informed and intelligent and chooses to do that. You know what I mean? Like, he actually.

Is choosing that, knowing everything. Yeah. Well, your father is not a dopey guy. He's an intelligent man. Yeah. He's a conservative listen, he's, he was in the Marines. He's just a conservative guy. I know.

That's his values. I still love him, but it's, I still love him. It's hard. It's hard to hear. But, you know, he reminds me of a computer generated candidate. I mean, he's like the best looking presidential candidate in modern time. You know, he, I mean, he, he doesn't have any physical flaws. He, he's almost so you, if you, if you told a computer to design a candidate,

it would spit out, it would spit out Romney. Seriously, he would. He reminds me, you know, I, I expect to go to toys are us and in the Barbie section find Mitt Romney in the Barbie case. Okay. I can't, that's a good, that's true. He looks kind of like actually that can. Yeah.

What else? What, why are you going to vote for him though? Because he is the candidate that is going to address our problems with the fact that Obama is put on four trillion dollars of new debt. And his solution is, well, if we just tax the wretch 250 and up, we'll solve that problem. No, you don't. If you tax 250 and up, you're still going to have a trillion dollar deficit.

So I think he says, you know, he just hasn't dealt with reality. And the truth of the matter is, if you look the last four years, you know, he passed Obamacare, which I don't think is going to work. And so we basically get, no, I don't. And so we had four years of basically press conferences. Now, the guy's a great speaker, you know, he'll probably, after he leaves office, you know, start his own teleproper company. Okay.

Because the guy is great with a teleproper. He is. I do think Obamacare is going to work. I have faith in it. I hope it works. I hope it works too. I'm, I'm kind of about it. I like it so far.

Yeah, I know. I'm just saying, I hope, I mean, you know, it's kind of early to say whether it's going to be a success or failure, obviously. But I do hope it works. I love the, um, the idea behind the universal healthcare plan. I always feel, I feel like healthcare is something personally that should be provided to people, whether or not they have money or not. Well, I mean, we're one of the wealthiest countries in the world.

We should have healthcare. Yeah. It's bananas that we don't. I know it's a good public speaker, but behind all the speeches and stuff, he really hasn't done anything. I disagree with that. You know, he blames the Republicans. It's interesting that he blames the Republicans for everything that went wrong.

Yet he takes credit for the four million new jobs. So he's the candidate. Um, every, that's every politician. Of course they do that. Right. But that's some pointing that out to him that like he's saying that like Obama, like, but that's all politicians are playing the spin game. That's what it's all about.

But the truth of the matter is, is that, you know, we really haven't done that well, uh, the last four years, you know, there's still too many people don't have jobs. Yeah. But I mean, he did inherit quite a problem when he got out. Of course he did. Yeah. Listen, he inherited a big problem.

He inherited a big problem. And the one thing he did, he actually did two things that I liked. Here we go. I was in favor of the auto bailout and it worked. And the Republicans, you know, I'm a Republican, but my Republican friends forget most Americans forget this because they're not in tune politically like I am. We bailed out Lockheed aircraft in 1974. Yeah.

250 million bucks. We forgot about that. Okay. The Republicans were all in favor of that. And he killed Osama bin Laden. Okay. So those are two things. The top dog signs off on.

We have this, um, measure B. Oh, that's when I get into measure B, but that was whatever. Um, well, listen, we can't judge top dog. No, he loves, he likes, so he likes, and you know what? You can't judge anybody for their political reasons. And here's the other thing too, you can't sway that man. I've had, but can I tell you the thing that's the most upsetting to me is, um, this was, I, you know, I'm cool and under control.

And, but I've had conversations with him or I get like fired up about this type of shit, you don't even get, he doesn't even raise his voice. Like you don't, you're not going to swim. You're not going to change his mind. We're also not going to get like, uh, he's not going to get like passionate. You can't handle the truth. Yeah. He's not going to do that.

He stays totally chill. Like he's in a bunker and there's a fire. And the Viet Conger. He's, he stays in control. He doesn't like, I get like, what the fuck? He doesn't not do any of that. Because your father has actually very cogent thoughts. He has the stuff thought out.

This is, this is his theory and how he likes his world to be. Yep. Well, let's, um, the Viet Cong can't, uh, change that. You're not going to change that. Now, after I called my dad, well, Christina, you called my dad because I thought, you know what, we haven't had my dad on the show in a while. And my father and I have been discussing the debates every time they air and he's so opinionated that I thought, what a wonderful way to round out, uh, this,

this, uh, this discussion. Yeah. And so let's get into it. I called him tonight and this is what he had to say. That's what he had to say. What do you think of Roseanne, uh, writing for president? I don't know. I haven't seen her for years.

I thought so. She's, I, she's just as good or bad as the other ones. Maybe they're crazy or at least she speaks whatever she feels, but, uh, the other to want to say whatever you want to hear. I, I, I watched her once in, um, some kind of a show where she was talking about that. And you know her, she's, she's saying things that, um, people know it's true, but it's still too crazy for, for a country. Well, look at your dad there.

He's giving her the props of saying what's true. Saying what, and he says that America is not ready to hear it. And that's, I agree with him on that. Yeah. He's right. It's, yeah, because nobody wants to admit to it and stuff. Yeah. So what do you think about Romney?

That piece of Romney, Romney, I told you, I, I sent you some messages. He's a, he's just a, like a car salesman. I can read it and he really, he's pretty smart actually, meaning, meaning that, um, he's got brains, but still, I think that, uh, he's an arrogant asshole. And I don't care. Yeah. And at the, at the third debate, he was, he was, uh, tried to be a nice guy and all this bullshit, but he's an arrogant asshole.

Okay. First of all, I love it so much. And here's, this is, goes back to what I love about Rosanne in that interview when she said it's bullshit because it is bullshit. That's why you think it's bullshit. Your dad is a straight shooter, always has been, and he just, he always said, and I almost feel like you see this more in foreign, foreigners have less of that American, like, oh, I just want to, he's just like, that's fucking,

right. And everybody give me a fucking break. You see Mitt Romney, that guy is a fucking car salesman. He is an arrogant, he's an, he has that shit eating bullshit grin. And shit eating grins. He totally does. And it's, and it's the kind of grin that you do see there at a car salesman shop and you're like, and your dad's the kind of guy who's like me, where

we see that you go, ah, fucking, I hate this guy. And that's exactly what your dad feels when he sees him. Well, you know why my dad fucking escaped from communist Hungary to come to this country and he loves America. First of all, we're American. We all became naturalized in 1994. So we are American. We can vote and he has no tolerance for bullshit.

Because the Hungarians in general don't fuck around. I mean, you just tell people what's up. I think Rosanne might be the candidate for it. I think Rosanne and my dad should get married. Yeah. He has no idea what's really going on in a word event to Europe. I made an asshole out of himself. He said, no, it's just nothing, nothing.

Now, it's absolutely. I think that if you want another Bush era, then we're going to, we're going to get him to be a president. It's the same or it is terrible. Makes me sick. Yeah. Also, I think that he's, I think that he's so far removed from reality. You know, he grew up so privileged and he has so much money.

It's like, he doesn't even know what the fuck is really going on. Like, would you even trust him to be your president? It's not even, even if he, he wasn't, he didn't grow up rich. Still, I mean, he may be, if I saw more of the word than, than we did, or no more about things than we do, but still he's an arrogant fucking idiot. I don't like his style the way he, he talked to the president the first time or the second time except the second time Obama didn't let him get away with it.

And I, I, I just, the guy totally remind me for a season when you walk into have some cheap fucking Toyota dealer or something. And these are the guys standing there. He's the, he's the sales manager. He's not even the general manager, you know, sales manager is a step below the GM. He's the guy who's just in charge of the sales. My father.

Yeah. It's so funny that he specifically made the guy a sales manager. I love that. So funny. The car lot. He totally used a lot though, right? It's like a really shitty car lot. Like he's so greasy and slimy.

Yeah. Everything is haircut. He's sure he tried to be chum chum and he's rolled up his sleeves. And then sometimes he's in some, so he shows that, oh yeah, he's, he's like an everyday guy. He says he has jeans on now. And then you laugh right there. He's an everyday guy.

He says he has jeans on now. And it's just, uh, the fucking guy is just really more like a creepy guy, I think creepy. I don't, I don't hear any, any, um, honest. Sentence out of his mouth. I'm loving this man. Right. And like you said, it was for Dan is honest.

She said what she feels. Yeah. At least he could say that, you know, I, I realized that for, for, they never talk about push number one. That's an absolute no, no, right? Right. Of course I like Obama. I like Michelle.

I like those girls. I think that he's, um, is a normal downward guy. I was expecting actually that he would make a lot of mistakes in the four years. And he didn't make any mistakes. I, one thing bothers me and that's what the only, the only thing I heard from around me and in those debates that, uh, kind of made me think that about Obama care, I don't know what the fuck is that Obama care. Do you know?

Um, no, not specifically. No, I mean, I couldn't tell you. Never. And I don't know what it is. And I believe me. I read. I have no idea what the fuck is this Obama care. And why did they spend two years on it?

Instead, but you know what it is, right? I mean, I have a vague, I can't tell you specifics. I can't tell you what the fuck it really, what, what it specifically entails. Well, I mean, it entails a lot, but it's essentially going to get, um, uninsured people insurance. And then you can't be turned away. If you have a pre-existing conditions, right? I get that, but I'm saying that I don't know the ins and outs of it.

Like if someone were to quiz me on it. Well, no, I mean, really? Yeah, you don't know this in code two, five, seven chapter. I, I consider that knowledge. You understand that that's, it's about universal healthcare. But what I, okay. So I do, uh, my dad just rambles on about it, but I don't want to hear it. But, um, there you go.

Two different opposing views from two different dads, two different dads, my two dads, my two dads and Roseanne. Everybody has different opinions and that's the beauty of this country. We can't drop a top dog segment on you. Have it be all about politics. You feel like that's all you're going to give us. That's the top dog that we, what about the guy that we grew to love? What happened to that guy?

Well, he's still here guys. Well, I, um, you know, I'm in the new place now, right? You're in a new place. Yeah. You got nice, you know, I got big news about this place. What? I took my first dump here today. Oh, oh, what a moment.

God, you know, there are certain, there are certain times when you remember the first, the first, you know, we all kind of remember the first, a lot of things. I, I, I do remember some of my first dumps when I go to a new place. By the way, I wanted to ask you if I thought of this today at work. I went into our, our bathroom at work today and it's a two stall, two different stalls. Do you think most people have their favorite stalls when they have a choice? Yeah.

So if it, if it, uh, if it is a free, can you do that again? It's interesting. So you go to regularly, I think it happens subconsciously. I don't even think you even think about it. Can I weigh in on the issue? So you're saying it's a subconscious choice. I think that like, if, if you go to work in a building, you work in an office, what are you saying?

I, I think you don't even, you don't go like, I like this stall more. You just end up going to that same stall all the time. If you have multiple stalls, you don't think so? Negative. I, I actually, here's what I based my decision on in every public stall because I heard somewhere that the first stall is the least used because everybody assumes that the first one is the most used and therefore nobody uses it. I'm fascinated by this.

Yeah. So I use the first stall because it's the most unused and therefore the less bacteria on it. That's my theory. Okay. So yours is your vote on that. Yours is very thought out. I think, uh, I think for me, it happens a little more organically.

It's natural. Yeah. Okay. I'm just drawn to a certain stall. Yeah. I go to the left one. Here's the other thing, which I do when I go to airport and places like that, I always go into the handicapped stall.

Yeah. Now the first of all, there's more spaces. Well, there's more space, you know, particularly when you really have to, they usually have a wash sink in the handicapped stall. So if you're sitting in the handicapped stall and you got a sloppy Joe, you got a little splatter on the old cheeks, but you want to do it. Take, get to that paper and you kind of get up and you kind of waddle over to the sink, the little water on there, because you're going to start cleaning

that stuff off. If you're in one day, huh? Didn't you get some on your cheek the other day? Yeah, I did. Yeah, I did. Okay. But I was in a two staller, you know, and I didn't have, you know, I couldn't,

but that's why I like handicapped stalls because you, what did you do? What did you do when you were in regular stall? I spit on the toilet paper and then I use that to kind of wipe it off. What, what, did I just not find anything that didn't register properly? Did I just hear that? I don't know what's more horrifying, the Clorox wipes, or that he just admitted that he spits on the sweat, or that he likes Mitt Romney. I'm not sure what's the most horrifying part of this whole podcast.

That is the truth, man. What, Todd Dogg? What is going on? Oh, shit. Yeah. Oh man. He spit on the toilet paper and then I use that to kind of wipe it off. Okay.

I mean, yeah, that's what I, that's what I do. I go spit on it and that kind of just, you know, gives me a little like water to kind of, right? You also told me you had a breakthrough, like almost like a medical journal breakthrough the other day about, um, about pimples on the front. Oh, that's great. Yeah. Yeah.

We all, you know, you've had, we've all had guys get, I don't know when to get this shit. They have such small shit. They probably don't, but guys, you get pimples on your butt. Ever since I switched to countertop wipes, I take a countertop wipe. I kind of just wipe the cheek, each cheek clean, kills everything on the butt. I don't, I don't get pimples on my butt anymore. You know why?

You know why he doesn't get pimples on his butt after using a Clorox wipe because he's, he's burned the layer of epidermis off. Right. With ammonia, that can get acne on it. That's healthy, right? Totally good. You should also use like ammonia on your face. Definitely on your genitals.

I'm going to start using them on my, my Janney. Yeah, you should own my penis. I'm going to put ammonia on it. Kitty. Can I say though? I'm sorry. One moment. I'm still stuck on him spitting on the toilet paper.

Yeah. Now he's in the handicap stall. No, not in the handicap. Okay. So he, he can't go out and put water on me because his pants are out of angle. Okay. Now I'm, now I'm clear.

Do you think you should let maybe the medical association about that? Like that world know that. Well, I think, I think so. You know, I mean, let's say, you know, I mean, it'd be like, plus plus the fact, you know, I'm not one of these guys that you lay out the toilet paper on it. And you're in a airport or something like that. And then I went, I got to go, I sit down immediately. You know, who cares if it's on your feet, right?

Yeah. Exactly. Okay. But now we're going to wrap this up, actually. This has been, uh, there's no more. There is more. Okay. All right.

I'm going to play it. Yeah, I like it. All right. Well, shit. Why not? Two quick questions. First, game time prediction. Who's going to win the election?

What do you think? Okay. Even though I'm voting for Romney, if I think Obama's going to win the election. All right. So there you have it. A conservative guy has given you the truth right there. All right. And you hear it right there.

Top dog calls Obama. And of course, when we, I can't believe we didn't ask this earlier, what if you were president, the top dog were president? Could there be like free toilet paper for everybody? Well, I definitely would make countertop likes a set. I would make that kind of a requirement in all public government facilities. We help. That's real strength.

Of course. Oh yeah. You got to go with the industrial strength countertop. He was 99.99% of the. He's obsessed with his kind of stuff. I know obsessed. Why just the government buildings leaving out there? Okay.

I think the only thing he doesn't kill is anthrax on contact. Okay. And I would put them at all, make them a requirement in all, you can't smoke in government buildings. I put these in every bathroom. Okay. And you would see a cleaner kind of a cleaner also cut down because people don't always wash their hands.

Let's face it, people wash their hands when they see somebody else in the bathroom, but if there's nobody there, most of them don't wash their hands. I believe that's known as projection in the psychology. What were you assumed? Everybody's doing what you're doing, right? Oh man. No, nobody. Well, that's, you know, if you're holding a countertop, like your fingers are

going to be on that and that's going to kill the bugs on your fingers. So it's, it's a public safety. They'd be my first public safety initiative. You're really championing the countertop lights. Really? They work. You really believe it? They work.

They say something. They work. I haven't had a couple of my butt in months. Okay. So yeah, there's some more top dog for you. And, you know, we don't, we don't hide the truth on this show, man. No. Give it to you.

Good. We, you know what today was? Hmm. This was the realest episode. This was some real shit. It was. It was really real. And that was really neat to hear everybody's because politics is very personal.

It is personal. It's like religion. I don't often share my political views in public because I don't think it's anybody's business really. I know, but we gave you. We did it today because we felt it was a timely thing. And there you go. Maybe we learned something today.

It was pretty awesome that we got to, you had a real presidential candidate on. Yes. We hope whoever you vote for that you always keep your mommies in mind. Hmm. And, you know, we gave you this, this episode, like I said, as a bonus and we have a new episode coming out in two days. Come back on Wednesday and we'll have a brand new episode. And just to give you a hint.

Oh my God, you guys. Who is going to be on Wednesday. Well, just see if this sounds familiar. Yeah, you guys must have sent out a treat or something because I've had all I've had about a hundred guys from a people that have listened to your podcast and they're like, do do mom's house, do mom's house, do mom's house. Does it sound like, I don't know. Does that sound like, does it sound like, I don't know.

How excited are you? You guys, I can't wait for you to hear this. We, we got him. He's in the mommy dome. He's in the mommy dome. He's coming to do the show. We already have amazing, amazing interview with this guy and it's all because of you guys, man.

And we also, I don't know, at this point, the results will be in from the, what's it called, the Stitcher Awards voting. Oh, so a lot of you guys have been tweeting us every day I voted. I voted. I don't know what's going to happen with that, but it's very cool that you, that you did. It is. You know what it shows? Mommy power.

Enough mommies. We got Brace. We got nominated for Stitcher and who knows what we'll do in the future with you guys. That's a great way of putting it. Yo, we love you guys. And like I said, new episode this Wednesday with Brace and it's going to be awesome. Thanks for listening today and we'll see you guys. We'll be back here in a couple of days.

Thanks mommies. We love you. Hey, this is Brace and you're, you're listening to your mom's house and I can wear my jeans as high and as tight as I fucking want to. And if you don't like it, fuck off. That was amazing. Thanks man. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you.