Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - Raising The Stakes | Your Mom's House Ep. 705

Episode Date: April 26, 2023

SPONSORS:-Go to https://Saatva.com/theshit to get $200 off ANY mattress of your choice.Tom Segura and Christina P. Would like to cordially invite you back to the Mommy Dome! What age range is appropriate to date? We open with a clip of a cool guy who got beat up by a girl, Christina continues to learn about the animal kingdom, we dive deeper into Enny and Ryan basketball game AND Enny seems to have cracked Tom’s color coding system for his soundboard! We get an update on ol’ Sh!t Eyes aka Blind Bob, continue our MASSIVE campaign to send Tom to space, and we reinforce that absolutely everyone you know will die at some point. How neat!https://tomsegura.com/tourhttps://christinaponline.com/tour-dateshttps://store.ymhstudios.com/https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast

Hello, Govna. I'm coming to London May 9th. I'm sorry, I'm coming to London May 9th, one night only. One show at 21SOHO. Get your tickets now. ChristinaPeteOnline.com. This week on Your Mom's House. Would you fuck your mom forever? I think you just want to kill people.

Yeah, let's not get into it too much. You try. Run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run. Welcome, welcome, welcome to your mom's house. Satva mattress company. I've been talking about them for like a decade. Why? Because I freaking love them.

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pay for salespeople and the overhead of real estate. Satva doesn't deal with any of that so they can give you a quality mattress for way less. So trot out right now, go to satva.com slash the shit for $200 off your next Satva purchase. You're my son, I'm your mom, you're my son, I'm your mom, ask and will you, ask, ask, ask and will you, you will get your mom. Yes, I would, you're my son, I'm your mom, it's just like the gaze, it's just like, it's just like the gaze, I looked at her and she looked at me, it's just like the gaze. Once in a while he calls me mom, you know what I mean?

The bull can send he adults, ask them will you, ask, ask, ask them will you. I looked at her and she looked at me, you're my son, I'm your mom, it's just like the gaze, it's just like, it's just like the gaze, ask them will you, ask, ask, ask them will you. It's just like the gaze. So crazy dude. That's an all time banger right there, DJ Boy Butter. It's just like the gaze, the logic is flawless, being in love with your mom is much like the

gaze. It was a real kiss. It was a real kiss. That was so crazy dude. It's just like the gaze. It's just like the gaze. Well, because they're just doing what they want and not everybody likes it, that's how it's like the gaze.

It's consensual. Yeah, some people are like, ugh, and someone says that to him, he's like, how am I different than a gay? It's so true. And I wonder if they're still together and thriving. I would vote no, I would guess no. I don't know. You don't think you'd love your mom forever?

I mean, would you fuck your mom forever? He's been fucking his mom for a minute. Do you know what? His mom's blowing him and he's fucking it, you know, he's coming all over his mom all the time. Stop. That's so crazy. That's crazy.

Shit. Yeah. Like, okay, let's just... He sits around his buddy, he's like, who's like your best lay? He's like, probably my mom. I want to put a hypothetical to you and like just really try to go there with me. Imagine if you just never met Charo and then one day you meet her and you find out she's your mom.

Do you think you could fall in love with her independent of being her bio son? Like, do you think you could? Would she be your type? I mean, very retarded. Yeah. It would be so hard. Yeah. Retarded, retarded.

No, I don't think so. I saw this meme of this woman who was like, I just had this realization that everyone in my family has been inside of me and I was like, oh my God, it's true, like your babies come out of you and then your husband's penis isn't in you. Oh yeah, Jesus. Okay. Yeah, I was like... No, not your family of origin.

Yeah. The family you create. Yeah. Gosh, I hope not your family of origin. It's dark. Do you think you could date your dad? Like, well, no, because I don't like his personality in terms of how he treats women. But if you just met him right now, he would just try to, he would just be, he was charming,

so he would be like, oh, it's a very beautiful shirt. Can I tell you something? This is disgusting. I love his personality. I really do. Can you just say you don't like his personality? No, no, I don't like how he treats women. I don't like how he goes about his business.

But doesn't that something you discover? As you go. Yeah. I think it's a little Lord into my dad's thing, because A, he's handsome as shit. He's European. He's charming. He's like fun time guy. Feathered hair.

Feathered hair. But then he kind of does what that guy was talking about in the last episode, where he's like, he isolates them, and then he's like, you're kind of fat, how come you're so fucking fat? Why don't you bring me something, a snack, something, and you're like, uh-oh. So you're basically saying he could hustle you. Absolutely. Yeah.

Yeah. That's his strong suit, is that he does hustle. And he's very charming. I'm telling you. Yeah, I know. Like, I might fall for him on an airplane ride, and then by the time I land, I'd be like, this guy's fucking crazy. Yeah, yeah.

The more you talk to him. Like a drink on an airplane ride, and I'd be like, this guy's amazing, and then by the time I land, I'm like, oh no, this seems dark, he's weird, and he is also 30 years older than me. That part would probably be a factor, but it's kind of like the gaze where you just kind of do what you want, you know? Yeah. Do what you want.

Do what feels good. Do what you want. Yeah. Speaking of gaze. Yeah. I don't think I would be equally charmed by Charo. No, but she can be charming. No, I would be like, this is a fun, sassy, funny, older woman, you know?

Yeah, because she's tremendously entertaining. But the difference is that like, I don't know, just because of gender roles, women can't like, can fall into the like, yeah, he's older, but I like him, and guys just rarely, rarely do that. And we're like, yeah, she's old. That's it. That's the end. So there's no fucking way she's old, you know?

Can I share a real insecure thought with you? Sure. So when I'm all old and yucky, are you going to look at me the way you look at Charo? Do you know what I mean? Or like, because we're both old and sucky? No, it's because we're both old. Then you want to, like, it's not going to bother you as much when we're both old and shitty.

But I've all, this is, by the way, this is not a, it sounds like I'm giving myself a count. This is just how I am. No, no, no. This is how I am. This is just how I am. I've always been attracted to the women in my age group. So like, even now, I don't look at a 25-year-old girl like, damn, it's like a child to me.

Like I'm of the, this is, as you age, I'm aging with you, that's the attraction level that I have, you know? Yeah. I find that I have that as well, where I'm into my own age group. Age group is, yeah, appropriate. This makes sense. But I didn't think I would be. Because I thought.

Me too. Yeah. Like, ew. They're so gross. Yeah. But like. What, but why is that? That we don't mind other people.

I think we're just lucky. That's the way you're supposed to be. I mean, that's the way you're supposed to be. You're supposed to be, and I'm, one of the reasons I say I'm lucky, it's not a credit to like the work we've done. It's just your wiring. It's just your wiring. Yeah.

Some people don't have it that way. Some people are, are exactly what you're fearing is how they are. Yeah. They're just like, ugh. Yeah. They just, like, can't stand a woman their age. I know. But I mean, I think you're dead.

That's probably what I'm saying. Yeah. And I, but that's what, that's what I watched growing up is like his loathing of women his own age. No. My age is cool. It's fine. When, when I was 32, he goes, I would never date a woman as old as you.

And I was like, that's dark. Pretty dark. That might be why I have this thought in my head, because I'm like, oh, is that universal to all men hate? No. I don't think it is. No, I don't think so. Let me ask you this.

And everybody just like, everybody appreciates beauty, like young, like, you know, you see somebody 22 man or woman, you go like, look how beautiful this person is at this age. But that doesn't mean that you're like, like attracted to that want to be with that. It's just like, that's just like looking at a, like a beautiful car. You just like, look at this. It's gorgeous. You know, that's it. But I mean, some people reject their own age group.

I know. But I think that's, I think that's faulty wiring though. Yeah. I think so too. Cause I don't, I can't see myself having a meaningful relationship or even actually effing a younger 25 year old guy. Cause it's, it is, it is, especially when you become a parent, you're like, oh, that's my kid.

Yeah. It's maternal. It feels weird. I could do it if I could throw her out the window or something, you know, so she wouldn't exist after. Yeah, just like plow her on the balcony and then just like literally just dump her off. You know? But why, why they need to kill her?

And I'm not sure. I don't know. Just for kicks. It feels exciting. You know? I think you just want to kill people and you're using the sexual stuff as an excuse right now. Yeah.

Let's not get into it too much. So yeah, um, may I make a plug very quickly? Make the plug. Um, Austin, I would like you to know that very quietly, it's not even on my website, but it's kind of just for like real fans only. Real mommies only. Yeah. In Austin, Capsity Comedy Club in the red room.

That's the small. The what room? The red room. It is very satanic. Yeah. I'm quietly working out a brand new hour. And if you want to be a part of that process, cause you need the audience to create funny material.

You do. Come every Thursday. I'm going to be doing every Thursday, like seven or seven 30 PM in the red room. It's on Capsity's website, um, until June when we leave. Okay. And then come watch me work some shit out. And then, um, Park West Theater in Chicago, Illinois, April 29th, Turner Ball's room in Milk Jockey, Jizz, Conson, April 30th, and then Charlestown, West Virginia at the Hollywood

Casino at Charlestown Races, May 13th. And then comedy works downtown in Dunbar, September 14th, 15th, and 16th, ChristinaPieOnline.com for tickets. Thank you for everybody. Um, who's been to my shows. What? It's just such a gross way to name the cities. Um, can I tell you?

You told me that you named the new hour already. You named it Lenovo. Wow. That's really cool. Um, can I, let me tell you something. Yeah. I've gotten some DMs where people are like, I didn't know about that computer either. So I'm not retarded.

Okay. I'm not as R-worded as other people. Okay. All right. Let's uh. Rob Eiler said he didn't know it. Yeah. Okay.

Let's uh. And Rob's a smart guy. Yeah, he is. Hey, we're just not nerds. You know what I mean? I don't know nerd stuffs. Forgive me. All right.

Let's start the show. You ready? Yeah. Let's do it. Here we go. This fucking stupid ass bitch trying to fucking tell me, oh yeah, you shouldn't record me when I'm dancing on the dance floor bitch shut the fuck up bitch don't fucking tell me what to do.

I'm a goddamn man. Stupid ass hoe. Yeah. I'll do whatever the fuck I want to do because I'm a goddamn man if I want to record you on the goddamn dance floor I'm gonna fucking record you on the goddamn dance floor shut the fuck up and carry on. Stupid asshole. That's so cool.

What a cool guy. It's a really good clip. Yeah. Stupid ass ho. Stupid bitch. Yeah. Stupid bitch. Yeah.

Yeah. Stupid bitch. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. My eyes are puffy. They're so puffy. Like them. And diamonds are falling off. Oh

Diamonds in the crevice This guy's awesome man, he's so cool his hair is fucking wild. It's rad though. It's like I like it It's like a step back into like early 90s R&B style I forget like Millie Vanilly like well Millie Vanilly comes to mind for sure And then there was another like is it color me bad, right? Yeah, like they had that kind of hair Wait, there was another one who's saying cult of personality cult of personality Who's saying that fishbone? No, no, who's called to personality? How's a jam living color that was that's what it was not yeah, yeah living

That's a jam. Yeah, it really is and now he's like fuck these hoes Stupid ass This is actually relatable in this one way to everyone there are times when you're upset No, no, and you want to say shit, but you don't dare say it to somebody Yeah, but you will say it into your phone like he's not telling these women this no He's just making a mess. He's like fuck a bitch. Fuck you bitch But like it's just alone and if that one walked by you like of course go right back to your phone That's what's relatable which relatable is like that's so mad at someone like I told that motherfucking break his net

And you see me like what's up, man? Yeah, you're like you're not gonna really say that shit. You know because I rehearse Awful things in my head all the time. Like I rehearse confrontations like all night. I'll be like fucking bitch I can tell this bitch. Yeah, I'll tell her what's and then the minute you see them. You're like, hi We're gonna actually sit down and discuss something with you But like if your phone came up and it had this on it she'd be like But doesn't that always think about the corporate world. Yeah, we're like they can never show rage You can't be like hey mark. Thanks for fucking up that email. Like you you always have to be like Hi, do you mind if you have a minute give a sec? Yeah, and then we'll talk to you about

base communication issues right now. We're kind of experiencing with the team Yeah, like that part that actually makes me angrier. Yeah, when somebody uses corporate speak and soft language instead of being like God damn it Christina. Did you fucking send an email? You're fucking dumb bitch Cut I'm like, dude. I'm sorry. I fucked up like don't you feel like damn man? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah I don't like that soft like let's circle back. Let's circle the wagons and like shut the fuck put a pin in it Put a pin in your asshole. I want to talk about it like that You stupid bitch You stupid yeah, I think there's a reason you don't work at a bank. You know, oh my god

Yeah, I could never never and then I would see you and be like, she's probably a nice lady Yeah, nice how to speak to people and then I'd be like, no No, no, I hate that stuff. We have to soften We all know everybody knows Everybody knows you only speak one way Lenovo That's so rad yeah, and you know what So when I watch our kid shows with them every week I learned that I don't know shit Yeah, I'm always like like I did not know there were three primary colors

Did you know that there's just three colors and then those three colors mix and then they make all the colors? Did you know that I've heard that before Yeah, but I didn't really know it until I saw it on the song about it. What are the three primary colors red yellow and green, right? No, no, no Red yeah yellow and blue. There you go And then they mix together and they make all the colors. Yeah, bro. Like I don't know basic stuff like that Yeah, I thought I did and I had kids Mm-hmm. I don't know shit people really are loving that. I don't know the difference between cheetahs and leopards

Yeah, they do but by the way, you got them all right. I know but I've forgotten already because people are sending me a phone I'm like I already forgot that I think it's already in your head. I think you'd get it right again But which one's the dot with the circle around it still don't remember remember that it's gone. Okay So like yeah, the bigger the bigger spot is the leopard the bit without the circle No on the spot the circle around the spots a leopard, okay, and like the spot and the thin Thinner body is the cheetah cheetah. See I already forgot. It's already gone. That's a leopard don't remember Okay, well you got them all right. I know That's because it was fresh in my mind from the week, you know before yeah, well speaking of that. Why don't you?

Let's try to learn a little bit about crocodiles and alligators. You know fucking idea. What right? What is the difference by the way people have tech DM me before and been like stupid the fucking alligator or crocodile doesn't exist The difference between alligators and crocodiles is often easy to spot once you get the hang of it Alligators are dark colored with a broad rounded snout and are usually found in fresh water crocodiles are grayish green and prefer coastal brackish and Saltwater habitats still don't know the difference. I mean, okay, one's got a bigger nose Yeah, so the top one's an alligator the top one's a gator. Yeah Do you know the difference offhand?

No, I've I've seen similar things. I mean Normally if they're side-by-side you can pick them out like for like an untrained eye like me Crocs usually are bigger, you know and that color scheme usually can kind of give it away See how much darker that croc is. Oh the croc is darker. Yeah The alligator is right. Yeah But here let me bring up something. What do you think? Okay? Shit? I've already forgotten the fucking take that down And then okay All right, what is this? What do you think this is here?

Dude fucking Okay, okay, so hold on Okay, the croc is darker you said yeah darker and then The rounded snout is usually belongs to the croc Those are kind of like I'm gonna get this is a crocodile snout and in it and its mouth looks all jankier I feel like the mouths look crustier and jankier on a croc. Yeah, they're wilder. They look I think they usually look more

Aggressive like they look like because more dinosaur because don't they survive in like in harder climates like out like Australia Yeah, yeah, brackish water, which is my favorite word. Yeah All right, so there's one croc about there That's a dark guy. Mm-hmm And you said that the alligators are dark. No, I did not the crocs are dark Yeah, that's a that's a crocodile. Okay, because it's a darker and a meaner looking and he's got he's missing an eye No fucking idea dude, I mean looks mean to me. I don't know looks like a fucking Shit looks like a fucking

No, dude, I mean, it's all a crocodile. It's all the crocodiles to me Fucking crocodile. Okay That's a fucking crocodile. Okay. Well, you're the same shit. You're doing pretty well. I Think a little variation would have probably gotten you further fucking crocodile You got the first two right and the next two wrong and the last one right? Yeah, you know what? At this point in my life. It was croc croc gator gator croc. I'm in the gator. This is a gator here. That's a gator Okay, and see the diff That's a gator also. Okay. I mean

All right, but look his teeth aren't as janky that was one of your observations That's true. Like he's got those teeth are nice compared to those teeth. Yeah, those teeth are gnarly though That's a croc. Yeah, it's a croc croc there croc there. Yeah rounded snout I know but I saw this is like round that that's a rounded snout. Mmm. See that looks round And that one looks round, but that one's why yeah, I'm never gonna learn this I feel like it's like algebra at this point. Look at that. Look at that guy. He's all green So what's he you know if that's a croc if a if a expert was like, hey, did you know that this crocodile's 240 years old? I'd be like, wow, I believe how fucking that is a goddamn dinosaur. It is. It's a walking

Swimming dinosaur. You're still on the earth. Yeah, I like his teeth Do that that thing chomps down on you and locks in and just pulls you under and then It rolls. It just rolls. That's that's how your role is on the roll. Yeah, it's so cool. And then they drown you Crazy that they just drown you. Yeah, he knows how to kill you. Yeah, he'd throw a chick off a balcony in a second Yeah, I'd be like I'm a goddamn man. Oh my goddamn man stupid asshole Yeah, you know somebody is seeing that who knows him. Hey, oh The crocodile no somebody's seen that video the guy be like a fucking bitch. Yeah, and they're like yeah, like he's doing videos again He doesn't mean it I feel like that guy just like you said he's having a bad day

He just what here's what he wanted. He wanted when he's recording people on a dance floor. It is Intrusive and obnoxious right to be recorded. He wanted them to be like hey, you're recording us and just like start dancing for it Like you like that'd be fun and the fact she's like, excuse me. Could you not? Yeah, that like, you know, set him off Yeah, set him off and he's just like he wanted to have fun. Yeah, and but like also it is a total You know, it's an obnoxious thing to do to be recorded Yeah, it feels terrible and it's funny I was watching a documentary that Soleil moon fry made about the 90s Yeah, and you can tell when the camera is on people in the 90s. They're like whoa

Hey, I'm weird and then now you're just like like you you know what I mean? It's totally different Like the girls are like But in the 90s you were like Yeah, so Yeah, we should be used to it, but it's still intrusive as shit when you're drunk I hate it when I'm drunk and there's a thing see between men and women I think is like the male fantasy is that if he shows his camera those women are gonna be like This is like what you're saying like they're gonna do that right and I

Think man or woman if you're put on the spot. It's like especially if you're like Having a good time. Yeah, you know and if those girls are like we just went out like girls go out sometimes to go like We just went out to have a fun time together and when the guy is like we're about me Yeah, like Like I like you and I want you to like like when I get when a woman is like we're not feeling that tonight Yeah Guys like that, you know, man. I've had it happen before sure every one Yeah, dude, I don't come by you to drink. I'm good and you fucking stupid bitch

I know the cool thing is like when a guy does that that that woman gets to go like I just lost out on this guy I Lost out on the guy who's like fucking bitch. It's never your future husband Um, I have a strict don't video me when I'm drunk policy. Hmm. Do you want to know why why? Sean is wedding. You didn't come with me. You were working. Yeah in Mexico. Mm-hmm They gave us a ton of tequila Mm-hmm, and they put out a fireworks tower And I'm so fucking hammered and her stepdad recorded me

being like And like played it back for me, and I'm so mortified mortified. Yeah, how stoked I was to see fireworks I'm so embarrassed I know, but it's bad like I kind of want to get the audio from Shawna just to play how I'm fucking retarded. I sound yeah It's bad and I won't do it again or dancing. We were all dancing drunk on tequila. I look so stupid Mm-hmm. Yeah, I thought I look good, too. You're like, oh What why are you so why are you so mortified you think? Because like you think in the moment that you're just being normal

Yeah, you think you look cool, and then you watch yourself back, and you're like dude I'm such an asshole, and yeah, and that puts that person took video you dick, you know, I feel like betrayed You know, yeah, I mean I don't like that or said dad took that footage of me. It's very embarrassing really I I've I found footage of myself before not drunk just like videoed where I was so like mortified at my own Obnoxiousness that I broke the videotape What were you doing in it? Just being a douchebag like your kid or something. Yeah, I was in high school

Like filming myself, and then I was like It's so embarrassing But I wouldn't drunk I mean drunk is but see drunk is also like kind of the excuse You know I mean like if you if you're drunk you get to go That's not really me. I know but I then I feel like it's a safe space when everybody's drunk and nobody's videoing you Yeah, that's the implied that's true. That's true. You don't want the proof. Yeah, you don't want the mirror guys We're all letting loose. That's the premise. Yeah Nobody you don't get to film it and then play it back later when you're sober. It's just so mean. Yeah, God

Well, let's let's cover this real quick because this was the hottest topic On the last episode and that is that any And Ryan discussed playing one-on-one and we started to discuss real stakes and today First of all, we got clearance from Ryan's doctor sweet that he can play basketball and most likely not collapse on the court and then They're gonna play one-on-one. So we're gonna discuss The stakes of the game. Okay?

number one Here he comes here comes the big boss man. Boss man's here. Oh shit They're gonna play one-on-one to 11 not to 21 like my dumb ass fucking did Yeah We're gonna get a ref again. I hope we can get the same ref. He was great ones and twos And then now it's the the stakes of you know, what happens so if any wins

any Would what tells what you would like? The only thing that I could think of that would be worth what y'all were asking me for. Yeah, the only thing That I think I would even think about that. I can't do myself. Yeah Get this dome back. Do you want to get get that hair transplant back to get the hair back at the hair? I'm so excited So much. Yeah. Yes. It's one thing. I cannot do for myself. So yeah, I mean a good boss man to do it Hey, man. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, so

You get that hair back. Yeah, we get if it's even possible more swag than you have now and then Yeah, you so that's a huge win for you huge if Ryan wins we do a A MRI slash colon cleanse, right so that we see what's in there and we suck it out of you Yeah, yeah, yeah something about putting something so that I shit everything out at the same time I'm sure to make sure to stock up for y'all so it's real You know you get everything you want to see and then yeah, you're gonna look at it So you're gonna x-ray it too. Is that what that is? Well x-ray. I mean x-rays

I don't know. I feel like more like a scan would be but like, you know scan them the digestive tracts He was there and then colon cleanse it out of you. So we see what's in there and then we get it all out of you I think it'd be it would be a team outing. I think we would all go so satisfying, you know I think the company would show up Very cool in the lobby and we were all Kind of wait for you, you know, and your millions of followers will also be there. Yeah, very cool Very exciting. That's a good way to summarize. It would be a very cool day But if you win, you know, you're going to Istanbul for sure

They do the best work. So oh, yeah, Turkey. Oh, yeah, you'll be on a foul flight now. I Got it. I heard that last night so Here's the thing I want to ask how confident are you that you can win this one-on-one matchup? Now that I know that the stakes matter to me. Yeah 1000% Wow, that's a lock 1000% that's a lock. I'll take any action from either of you if you guys want to get You're not getting any action. No action. Let's go. We're done talking. You were supposed to yeah You're in a new place and you have new habits new new approach to life. You're not doing that anymore

But it's you know, it's two steps forward one step back. No We put you in rehab. The action is going to be amongst the people that Can walk away when it's time to walk away. It's like like I can have a beer and go along with my day So you're not doing that. Very cool. Are you going to your meetings? I mean, yeah when I can no when I can't should be priority number one Do you know that? Yeah, but you know stuff needs to get done here and I'm a company man first Stay late. Yeah, but you can do zoom. You can there's meetings everywhere. Yeah, we're not talking action with you anymore Okay

So real quick. Yes before we move on from that those stakes Yes, I want to make it clear. Hold on. So are they gonna put me to sleep at any part of this? No Is that what has to know? I'll be awake for all this. Yeah, all right, cuz I know y'all niggas y'all gonna do some weird shit I'm fucking asleep. All right. I know how white I know how white people work man. I've been around white people drunk No, I don't trust that shit. You're not asleep. All right, if you were asleep, I can't believe how big a statement We can finally take a peek. Yeah, we take a peek. Nice. Yeah Okay, so you're going to Wow, yeah, you're gonna get that hair back any get that hair back. It's exciting now is Ryan in there, too

Yeah, I want to know. Yeah What's up, baby? Thousand percent thousand percent zero zero zero zero. That's three zeros. Yeah, I just want to know Because well, we obviously are recording this when you hear your Your competitors say a thousand percent. I'm gonna beat you. Does that read does that do anything to you emotionally? It reminds me of the morning. He said the exact words to Joe Rogan. Oh, yeah, you know What did I say that a thousand percent you're gonna beat him?

That's not what I said I said I would bet a thousand that I would just because I wanted to do it and I knew we wouldn't do it for free because he's Joe Rogan hmm, but you nigga Wow, that was a thousand percent Come on, baby. Come on. Why why why do you see a thing? You started this is out of nowhere. We were just we were in a in an airport, right? We were like eating or whatever the fuck at a bar. You just said it randomly. We were talking about Tom's thing I was like, I don't know it could be close. You never know he could be a super star

You know and then you were like all I know is I'd beat you for a thousand how did it go down? I don't talk shit to you. Oh, so how did it go down? How did this come up? I don't remember. Oh I guess I have to take a word for it. Let me ask you so You've heard what he just said. How do you feel about your chances of beating him one-on-one? I? Mean he's black. Yeah, so it's got that only that's only half He is half black and that's it's a good thing right, but that Filipino half is short I don't think Filipinos are good at basketball. Yeah, I think no disadvantage. No, but for real I'm not worried at all. I mean I play basketball. I'm from Kentucky for God's sakes. It's like it's in my blood

Yes, I've been playing basketball my whole life granted him twice his age. Yes, yes, but I'm not worried at all Not at all Yeah, yeah, this is gonna be so much. I'm so excited when you touch the basketball. I mean besides it Tom's thing. Yeah, yeah 20 years ago 20 years ago, and then wait can I ask you just I want to have a full understanding Because sometimes people like this reminds me when I played a Burton tennis and he was like, I don't know like he said he played a long time ago Yeah, and then he had this crazy fucking surf when you did play Where were you playing organized like it was it the school or a club or just like shooting hoops on the playground

It was it was a club and it was only because my dad wanted to force me to play I didn't actually want to play sure and my dad ended up being a fucking coach of that So you're the coach and you have games on Saturday or whatever, right? Like and do you remember what position you played point guard shooting guard for no And were you good like you in your memory? Do you remember being good? I remember I Remember I was just I was always a clown in in everything I did so yeah on and the court same thing I was like trying to do like one like yeah fucking tricks and shit on the court and they would always Foul me out. I'd be sitting on the bench most of the time because I was always fouled out

Yeah, you know the positions in a for a team for a basketball team. I know I mean, I just gave you two It's all crocodiles and alligators Well now I'm nervous do you feel like like especially because you went and you watch you watch my game You were up close you you kind of have having seen that you see there's styles of play in other words Like I was a post guy right like I backed them down and I would post them up and then you know Turn shoot dry and then sometimes outside shots Seeing like having seen that do you go? I would you know

Do you go? I'm gonna post them up or I'm gonna I'm gonna be I'm gonna work the outside perimeter like you know I mean do you do you feel like your game is best suited for one versus the other style? Are you asking me if I got a strategy? Not a strategy so much as like are you are you somebody that do you feel like you're your game and your athleticism? Lends itself to like driving to the hoop more or do you trust your shot from the outside? Giving him way too much credit. I don't think I'm just gonna figure it out. You're gonna figure it out Okay, the only thing I'll say against me is that I was when I played I was known known with my friends And who I played with as a point card like that was my position So I would pass like I'm a really good passer got you so as someone backing someone in well

I think I can easily do that to you. Mm-hmm. You know, this isn't a passing game. No, it's one-on-one. Yeah So as somebody that did it You're welcome for making it to 11 21 was very stupid of me and I'm Look at him. Look at the dog rubbing his hands. I know you Like a real fucking addict and then by the way, everybody here is forbidden to gamble with him on this way You are not allowed to bet in a dog. You get that other people What what if it's not money? What do you mean?

What else could there be? There's nothing that we could do to just make it more interesting. Oh my god diet coax All right His therapist said he can't now you can't you can't gamble anything guys we can't no But but that's only that's only in terms of the the show right like I could still we're gonna go on the weekend No, what Nadav cannot gamble and his life is a thank you guys Listen, the stakes are set. We know what's happening. I I I really do hope any wins just so that I can see him go to Turkey for this hair transplant. It's really exciting Yes, I may throw the game just for that too. Yeah

But I want any to lose Any you really need to take a shit and we wanted to do that so The only thing we haven't picked yet is the date the date that we're doing this and I think we should Do it. I'm going I'm gonna suggest we do this in The later part of May. Does that work for everybody like late May works for me. Yeah coming up in May coming up in May Yeah Hey, I am cleared I am gonna start shooting free throws over the weekend. Oh my god. Okay. He's got a clear handicap

Oh damn so we could so we could practice Or you should practice you shouldn't you should just show up. Okay practice Talk about practice Not again. Yeah, I should be your mantra every day Yeah every day in your head you should hear Shit should be easy any any figured out my soundboard color Can you walk us through it, I vaguely Him walking

I was rebuilding his whole soundboard on a new computer and so I was just taking everything You know the colors the titles all that and on like by like the third page It was like maybe it was that one. It was like this should be easy. I'm like, I'm like, oh, that's a nigga for sure And it was like blue It goes to mine or I think it was the McDonald's one. Yeah, it was like another blue I'm like, oh this mother Okay, so blue is black people got it. I'll just move that for me. Let me just apply that to the rest And then there's another color of code for

Yeah, yellow was either Asian sometimes Jewish I have a little juice and then sometimes a word that I can't say that that uh that that you say What word do I say that you can't say? Oh, I get it Sometimes it was just that for some reason Yeah, that's the one you can't say I feel like you if you can say and you can say are I And is like the top no no word Yeah, you've got you've got licensed ill if you can just throw around and yeah, but but you can say and if you are and so

Are I my pronouns are gay and retarded everybody knows that I identify as retarded. Oh my god Yeah, we need to talk about the R-Wave. No, we don't yeah Yeah, that's so gay. Oh, and then speaking of gay. Yeah, purple was gay I love how your mind works Tom, what are my drops what color do you have it's actually so the reason he's it's not even done yet But the reason he's building it is that this Is this is for like if you have a few we have so many So the colors are so like red is actually It was initially like hot or new so I give it the hot one or anything

So that if I look at the board and it's red it grabs my eye and then oh, yeah I wanted to distinguish things so I was like, oh, you know black dudes saying wild shit. We just make it So yeah, so if I get to a page and it's blue. I'm like, oh, this is a black guy Yeah, the whole I I page yeah blue blue blue blue blue I'm like, you know what else is blue and this was a huge debate in YMH was whether or not He jacked off and forged remember I was like he's black and then everybody was like he's not black I was like he is black. Well, they're blue because he's black. So fuck you. He's black He could be very light skinned. Yeah, like these are red because they were like a mild to wild to king

Yeah, those are red. Those are always hot. Yeah It's always hot. Yeah That's a hot clip Yeah, yeah And then this is like a gray. I'd like I know I wouldn't have a monologue. I'm not sure I wouldn't have the dialogue Yeah Austin's finest. Yeah. Yeah. So anyway, there's there's just so many that's what we're building It's just too many for this. Well, it's a good how many years have we been doing 11 years with so many tremendous drops

Yeah, that always make me laugh. Yeah, there was a time when Josh Potter was working for us And I was like, yeah, I need you to like move over. He's like, yeah, I'll do it. I'll do it I'll do it next week. I was like, you should probably get started on it. He's like, I'll just do it next week It's not I used to man. I used to do this at a radio station. It's not that big and I was like, okay And then I was like, hey, man, did you he's like, I'll get to it I'm telling you to take me like two seconds and I'm like, all right Then we get into work that I go. Hey, is that soundboard done? He goes dude

It's way more than I thought it was gonna be like, yeah, that's what we talked about. He's like, yeah You have like a thousand drop. I go. Yeah, that's why I said Have you started this yet? May I may take this opportunity to urinate really quickly Oh Can you take me out? Blow me up, Tom. Can you take me out on homeless guy gets raped by gay ghosts? Oh, okay. Yeah, I might be my favorite of all time

When you feel good when you fucking me. All right, I'll be right back. Okay. I just came back in and any is talking some crazy Shit, you know You guys was like, we have to roll on this. Yeah. Well, we're going back and forth about about Um The one-on-one still it's like it's the hot topic. Well, any what were you just saying please? Well, we were talking about what you know advantages I have what disadvantages I have Obvious one being that I don't play basketball a period. So that's the obvious. I was just saying that that's a major In my eyes a major disadvantage if you're like, you know, I think he says something like oh the disrespect

It's like it's not disrespect It's just like It's just it's one of those games like it's a sport where like I was saying Sean and I play one-on-one a lot you know where we did leading up to this and Um, he never beat me Right and he's a he's definitely more fit. He's a more like he's a stronger dude. His cardio is better He's he's a better, you know a fit person than me, but I play I definitely played thousands of hours more

basketball than anything and that's my advantage my advantage is that I have a higher Well, I have a higher basketball like, you know Like your hours logs. Yeah. So like there's just little things like eventually that I can like I can even fall behind and catch up and and win the game one-on-one against the guy who's who's in Definitely better shape than me and it's just because I played a lot more basketball Okay, and then what prompted any to be like should I'll do 21 like oh my god

I just I I think you don't think you really want to do that Why do you want to do 21 you didn't explain that? I mean I was thinking like you know again the only one of the only advantages that I have is that I would be probably in better shape I'll be able to last longer. So 21 means a longer game means you're gonna get more tired. You're gonna get sloppy And is your cardio good? I know you're thin, but that doesn't mean your cardio is good. I mean It's fine. I'll figure it out. I don't get all your everything is just like I'm fucking I'll just do it. That's why I love him He's got that chutzpah attitude. He's got the yeah, he's got that energy. Yeah. Well, that's all you need sometimes a latitude

I'll figure it out Figure it out, man Okay But we could do 11 we could do 11. Yeah, I think you want I think you'll want 11 They're probably get born. It'll probably get born to 21 anyway, dude. Yeah, how long did my game take to 21? Shit, that was a while. Yeah, that was a while. I didn't need to too. That was so man You had his ass. That was so well the the craziest part when because I forgot that it it was actually it was It was 20 to 11

And I was like even that is like that bull. I was like this bullshit It should be like 25 right now And then he went on fucking a run I was like what is happening? I remember yeah, because I was like, dude. Did he just what's that when you gripped somebody? Yeah, fake that you're shitty at something and I knew that he didn't though I knew that he didn't do that because of what he was making. I was like That's crazy every time he was like behind his back. I was like that go in And you see the ref in that thing. He's laughing. He's like, yeah, I don't know

But the whole point is just 21 was a fucking long man I got hit up by college kids and they were like we play to 11. What are you doing? Like they were like, this is crazy Um, I don't know. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. Oh my gosh, and I know that you know Everyone's gonna be jazzed up for this thing, man. Yeah, dog I love it. Yeah, you should start wearing wigs just to like prep your you know, I mean Motivate yourself. What kind of hair do you want like what long cat Williams hair long pimple? Yeah, you know, I did that for a minute. No, I would I would go. I'm probably do dreads if I get hair back

Long one like super long. Yeah, that would look really cool Wait, you do the thick dreads like the big ones or like, you know, I mean or like thinner Kind of kind of in between not super thick like Bob Marley thick But I hate it because like man, I picked this name randomly the any Kravitz shit It was just because my name I chose any and then I was like, oh any Kravitz that'd be funny But now he's got the hair the motherfucker has the hair that I would want It'd be straight up looking like I'm just biting his whole You're such a big fan Kravitz. Show me his uh his current look. Yeah, Kravitz right now people are like 2023

That's basically the hair that I would want He's so goddamn handsome This guy is like Yeah, unreal. Yeah. Yeah, those are Superior genetics. Jesus Christ. Okay. Yeah, but yeah, you could do that You look dope and you got to wear the chains too. He already has the chains That's his thing like got that. He's got that shirt. I've seen anywhere that shirt To work. Yeah. Yeah, you bet. I'm coming up in May. Yeah, you bet. I can't wait for this

It's happening. It's gonna be on brew. All right. Well, here's something. I got an update on old shit eyes Yeah, I found out that our buddy is known affectionately by his dedicated fan base as shit eyes Yeah, hi, this is bob. Um, I'm doing a video from my cam My webcam Appreciate you getting back with me the other night. You um, you're one of the few that that have and I I would appreciate your understanding and cooperation

Um, please do share whenever you got to take a shit. I like every shit is different. Yeah, this is true I like hearing loose ones solid ones whatever gassy ones farts. Um, we get it I don't want you to do the laxative thing anymore. Obviously. I mean, that's brutal What you put yourself through and of course the throwing up part wasn't particularly My forte. I I don't like hearing people throw up. Yeah

This is wild Can I tell you the craziest thing is um, you know, this kind of makes in a way this reminds me a little bit about my father Uh, he would call me and and sometimes he would just go, you know, I just love taking a shit Yeah, and I would go remember that. Okay. Yeah, and I and I would think like Something else is gonna come. Yeah Just love to take your shit sometimes Cool, man. Yeah, I would hear you do that. Yeah. He was like, no, you know, just uh

Just talking about it. Just taking a shit and I just like taking shits and I go that's so that's a really Thank you for sharing that with me. Such a good observation. Yeah, you know It's interesting about shit eyes and what he's letting us know In this particular clip because every time we see him we learn more and more about his likes and his dislikes So what we're learning now is yes, I enjoy diarrhea. Thank you for the content. However, I don't want to hear Sickness. Yeah, he says I don't want to hear you vomiting. Don't put yourself through The laxative he's a purist. He likes it. I like all the different types of normal natural natural shit But I don't want to hear food poisoning. No

Or illness which is interesting because Yeah, but that's a distinction that he's making as a blind person. He wants to hear I also love that he was like thanks for getting back to me and Thanks for your cooperation Cooperation is a very specific word to you. He's so corporate. Yeah. God But as far as I'm taking a shit boy, I just I really like pooh humor and same There's two things I like out here the shit the shit videos and the aviation The aviation

Guys a legend background there. I had to hit the control key because it's Doing my weather thing and uploads from my weather station Every five minutes the current conditions. By the way, uh, hoping you can check out my website at www dot www.selfgate-my-weather.com that says so U-T-H-G-A-T-E Dash Do we have this website the dichotomy the dichotomy? Yeah, we gotta have it up It's not active anymore. It's not Son of a bitch the dichotomy of aviation cancer. He fuck you you piece of shit

Aviation and scat is these he's literally like isn't this also unreal We we laugh and I'm one of the people that laughed and you point out. Oh my god This guy wants shit and aviation, but isn't it also indicative of how complex the human Yeah, like mind and experience really is because the reality is People that really are into let's say just you lead with aviation. They also have Dark things that they like. They just don't put it on a video. Oh my god. You just hold on you just blew my mind You're right. Most people hold on

And this is what makes a great ymh clip person. This is what makes everybody great in our world. Yeah the lack of shame Well, there's no shame. So what you're saying is behold on is that he takes all of his interests regardless of societal shame and puts them in one lump It's aviation and that is actually what we all are jazz and scat and he's he doesn't hierarchy There's no hierarchy right and it's amazing. I would say that one of the reasons amazing. He is shameless Is because he's blind. I think it's it's probably It's probably allowed him to shed the layer of shame that goes. Well, I'll just say I like aviation and weather Right, but because you don't see

The feedback as much and you don't you you I think you lean more towards I'll just say what I really like. Yeah He's just doing what everybody would do if they felt comfortable enough because like I said, you know, I would go I like cars and I like aviation and and then tits videos tits tits or whatever. Yeah. Yeah, it's like, you know cream pie videos. I'm probably not gonna put it in my my video profile But the truth is if you have a collection of them, I'd like to see him I'd like to see him. You know, yeah, you know, we should start doing

I'd like to see the ones where the girl other girl leans down there and and laps are up when when you're done It's so specific, but I also like porches Rolexes porches and yeah So, you know, that's kind of the thing about old shit eyes is that he really it's indiscriminate It's indiscriminate and I think he he's almost a symbol For what people should be when it comes to sharing your interest. You know what he's like like on love on the spectrum When they just say what they like. No, why don't they list? They're sexual proclivities. That's ability. Right. It's another disability. I mean, oh, excuse me

Different ability. It's it. Yeah. It's it's another it's an extra ability Also, uh, like I say keep the fan off whenever you do record. Um, I know it was on at one point, but uh, it was You know, I just Yeah, thank you Like whenever you go you can just describe to me what it looks like in the toilet after you're done I mean, that's not really a bad thing And I don't mean it to be gross, but Well, you got to look at your shit from time to time anyway because how does he know?

Yeah, not bleeding How the fuck do you know that, Bob? I just kind of curious to know even though I don't like hearing anyone throw up It's a wonder you even had any thing in you to shit out because I think you said at one point in that video you ate some white castle hamburgers or How many you ate and you said you ate some kind of big sub or whatever Did you do the laxative thing because you were

Constipated or something couldn't go you said you ate a lot Shrimp nibblers white castle get you every time And I'm just curious to know what you look like how tall you are and what do you weigh Somewhere around five foot seven five six three quarters weigh 172 pounds So anyway, I hope you get back to me. I It found that interesting that you're in new york city. I'd like to go there someday and Be able to ride the subways and smell the shit some of the sights and things I um see the sights

Good place for a blind person hear the sights. Maybe yeah I don't think new york city is a good place for a blind person. Oh chaos very dangerous That'd be that'd be this this the city. Well, not anymore because they've really lost their edge But i'm sure that's a city where a lot of blind people have been just shoved into the street Absolutely like just from the you absolutely you would need a um, I tell you what happened to me there one time You got pushed in the streets. No, I wish I um, I saw a blind guy Right. I didn't know he's blind. So I should back it up. I see a guy It's drizzling

And I'm on one side of the street. I don't know where I I can't I don't remember exactly what part of the city I mean, I'm I'm probably somewhere midtown or downtown and I see a guy going like this And I like I I kind of like Look at him from across the street like the side the The directly across it not not long ways, but like when you're close to somebody, right? So I cross over to that side And he's like Jesus fucking christ I'm like

I go yeah, he goes. I mean I've been standing here 15 fucking minutes trying to get can you help me cross the street? And I go yeah, no problem, man, and I'm like Like, you know scared of this guy, right? Like I'm like, yeah So he's he's fully blind and he was waving because he wanted somebody to help him cross the street and I guess the uh, the uh You know most streets if you go to especially in major cities the blinking and um, there's a sound, right? The sound is actually indicative of east and west and north and south. Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah, so That's cool. So the sound is telling you which direction to go and anyway, he's

I go yeah, he goes and as we're crossing the street guys hand on my shoulder He's like fucking raining no one's fucking helping me cross the street god fucking date like that All right, and then I go, okay. We're on the other side of the street now doesn't say thanks. He's like mother fucker Nothing nothing, um, he was just frustrated and you know I didn't you know, but I thought about I should just leave this guy in the middle of the street You know like we're good now. Just leave me. I mean how many times do mean people do that? They mess with blind people. I imagine that's probably one of the funnest things. Yeah to do in jewish orc titties Just leave them in the middle of the road or imagine if you're somewhere like morocco or something

You know where they're like, yeah, leave them in the middle of the fucking They don't even help blind people in places like that snake pit tell me that at a restaurant They just push you in traffic if you're born blind, right? Oh, yeah, they don't want you care inshallah and they fucking leave me um All right, bob. Let's wrap this up. Okay. I hope to hear from you sometime soon and Appreciate your help be understanding and be a friend. Like I say, I like this. Um, just for the fun of it I'd appreciate you sharing whenever you got to take a shit and Jesus somehow uploading it to my channel Bye for now. This is bob. So bye, bob. Sniff that one

That's a wild dude Yeah, that guy that might be the greatest of all time. I mean, it's robber paul champagne the piss on me beat me video Which was so the same thing same idea of just unabashedly like here's what I want Here's what I need. Here's what bob what we're missing though And I don't know if this exists in any of the videos There is not even a hint not even The smallest indication that this is sexually gratifying to him Wow, like there's an we have this understanding

Oh, wow that we feel like it's implied, but I don't know if like this almost feels like it is like a guy Talking about aviation, you know, he's like, yeah, I just like this So what you're proposing is that he just has a genuine interest in shit I think it might be akin to like an avian and not a kink. It's not a kink. I think it might just be like I'm blind. So my experience in life is all You know your senses are obviously like they shift, right? So he has an acute sense of sound like hearing is like he really And he might just like, you know what it's it's entertaining and it's funny to me that that sound is always different with every movement

Sure, and it depends like what you ate and where you ate it and what like what time of the day and what's your bill Like there's a whole story going on with him that I think is actually a mute He likes poop humor. It could be That look he's framed from the chest up. It could be that his dicks out and he's jizzing all over himself the whole time but It could also be that this guy is really just Talking about shits. Listen, I I would hope that as as a shit enthusiast as well I don't enjoy hearing other people's but I like poopy humor. Yeah, however, y'anna

Mm-hmm might I submit for the court? Yeah in the past every cool guy we've had if you look at this hall Yeah of people It's always sexual. I know except for pup play, which is never sexual sex sex sex It's always sexual with dudes if this was a woman. I could possibly go a couple guys that aren't so sexual, but yeah The Killarney guy Killarney guy hasn't had sex ever Yeah, his dick is too limp from alcohol. The asian garage is it's definitely not sexual But whenever people have kinks like when they are fixated it's always sexual I know but what I'm saying is that he's look he's either a master but he's either a mastermind in that because this is also a very clever

Deceptive thing to do. Yes to say I really like Farts and you know I like having a chat and you rock hard the whole time and you keep it like that's a deceptive thing to do And men we're not above doing that. I know very well be doing that. Yeah, if he's doing that sir I applaud you in the afterlife, but it's a racket. It's it's his way It's it's like you know what it is tom. It's the sensitive guy ploy. It's sensitive guy. It's it's I got a ponytail I'm into reiki. I'm into crystals. I want to hear what you're thinking. Oh my gosh. Yeah, it's sensitive guy Yeah, and really yeah, he's just thumb rings and and he's just holding and yoga Yeah

Yeah, what was that different farts different shits different things you eat. Yeah Speaking of rock hard we I mean, this is a huge topic on ymh. Do you want to go into the twitter thing? sure So, uh, we you know, we've been trying to get tom to come in space. We have been tweeting nasa elon musk And space. Yeah space x. Do you want to read this and let them know what's going on? And all we want to know is How do astronauts come in space and more importantly, can we get tom to come in space? Yeah

I mean, here's an article. Thank god. There's an article out there. Well, it's like the looks like everybody all sudden We talk about it. It's fucking it's in the news um Here's an email that came in hello friend after tweeting to nasa spacex and elon musk we Want tom to come in space? I have been banned for seven days and forced to remove my tweet. That is all be well jason Thanks, jason. Wow. I mean if this isn't a conspiracy to suppress information. It's suppressing information. Yeah, it is It's very much Oh, what was that? What was that a bear?

That's not it. Was that was that her super suit? Why are you laughing so hard? I don't understand. I guess there's a guy that's coming slow down. It's on the tear Yeah Oh That's horrible that's me in space. That's what I'll sound like Hey gravity will be different the sands will be different. Yeah, cuz sound is different space It's terrible. Oh, that's terrible. That's terrible. Oh look here's the thing I feel like because from what I've seen of elon. I elon. I know you have a great sense of humor

I think that no one at twitter has actually shown him the footage of us discussing this and I don't think he's aware I I want to blame his staff and his employees for suppressing this information. Where's your newest meme about this? So anyway, this article we found how astronauts masturbate in space Okay, officially it says nobody has ever had sex in space. But what about solo sex? It's not something nasa has ever been particularly keen to talk about. Yeah, what the fuck nasa? But here's the fact. Okay, russian cosmonaut Valery poliakov spent 437 days on board the mere space station

poliakov once noted in his diary Psychological support service sent us some nice quote colorful movies Which helped to recover our will to act like a normal adult male. There was nothing to be ashamed of and then another I bet you they didn't send Like his special kinks. I bet it was just generic You know boy girl scenes and he's like no pissing That's so true Tom. I want to see the girls get pissing her mouth and they're like we I'm sorry Well, and of course it's russian porn. So it's got to be very heteronormative and the girl is like just sad

Yeah No expression on her face. Yeah, they only tolerate heterosexual. Yeah normal clean activities Russian cosmonaut alexander levakin Described how things went on his 174 day trip to space. He says quote everyone is doing it. Everybody understands It's nothing my friend. My friends ask me. How are you making sex in space? I say by hand In his memoir astronaut mike mulane. So astronaut. That's an american. Yeah, right?

It's that at one point he had quote an intense. Sorry quote an erection so intense. It was painful adding that He quote could have drilled through kryptonite. Yeah, so this is very interesting guys. This is a health A health issue and could destroy the mission Of a spacex flight if not properly dealt with this guy's just floating around. That's how it's going to leave The tip right there But it comes out in spurts doesn't come out in one of my loads. Yeah, here's comes out in like Other astronauts are going to be like, oh my god I mean and he's going to be there and laugh it up for me

So we've confirmed that this astronaut mike mulane up here has masturbated in space Well, you know what this article said mulane also said right that look at that look at all that jizz in the space You're missing the jizz Who do you think sent this in? Um, there he goes Where was this scene in 2010 space jizz odyssey Okay, so he writes on long missions male astronauts are at least informally encouraged to ejaculate regularly to avoid Prostitis

Prostatitis with nasa advisor marjorie Jenkins concluding that prolonged exploratory travel would benefit From the people involved doing a bit of prolonged exploring of their own due to infrequent ejaculation Resulting in accumulation of prostate secretions and bacterial growth. So actually it is mandatory It sounds like it nasa mandates it in the rulebook that you must masturbate Why is it a secret? Why didn't how come we don't like everyone wants to know talk about it talk about it Mulane also said in that article in that interview that what happens is the body Fluids move differently within your body. So it's uh, it's suggested that the reason he's got this rock hard Cock in the morning is because the blood is probably flowing

Differently than it would on earth. So sometimes it's just there's basically It's implied that there's extra blood in there. That's why you're you know, because the shift in fluids Is different in space than it is down here. So you're telling me that morning wood in space is so ferocious I'm not telling you so intense. A fucking astronaut is telling you Yeah, so that means this is a real problem. It's super hard. It's a super big problem Yeah, you can destroy the mission if you get what do you fucking do if you get Bacteria in your peener and you have an infection. It's not like you're going to the doctor in space I'm more interested in whether or not nasa

Is supporting its astronauts the same way Rush is supporting theirs. Are you sending porn up there? You know, look at malaine right there. Look at this big old dick in those white diapers, yeah Um space porn are they sending like what kind of porn is nasa sending up? It's so important to know I bet it's super boring. It's got to be easy to download. Yeah, isn't it hard to download? I'm sure like frame by frame and then all of a sudden you're like you're sitting there And you're

You know, you're and then they go uh mike and you're like Jesus. Are you watching me? Yeah, we're always watching you're like god damn it No privacy Because don't they always monitor your vitals and stuff to make sure you're healthy? So like they're going to be like oh mike malaine. Just just again. Like do they know Maybe when the they're masturbating. I don't think it's all the time because you see them sometimes just floating around without any monitors on them, but yeah, I mean

It would be weird to hear or to To to have them know when you're jacking it Show that guy's face getting come down again in space. That's pretty rad. We got to make this Oh, I love it. I love this Let's see here He goes right into it. Look at him eagerly lapping it up. He's like He had to put that on the ymh tiktok by the way, we got to isolate that and put that on the ymh tiktok There I am. Okay. So here's a soaking wet wash cloth

Get the microphones. You can hear me while I'm talking and now let's let's start ringing it out. Watch this This is what it would be like to come rag Imagine that's full of your load. Oh Oh Yeah, isn't that cool? There's people cheering. They're like, that's your calm. That's so crazy Coming up to the water That's so crazy that they have poor people in space

In fact it rings out of the washing of my hands and if I let go of the cloth carefully The water sort of has it stick to my hand Why'd they clap? That was so gay. What was that all about because he came so hard They were so proud of him. Yeah They're so proud Yeah, um, okay. I have a would you rather for you. Okay Would you rather go into deep space

or Go into the depths of the ocean like the darkest parts where would I rather go space? Yeah, didn't even hesitate. Yeah, I would rather go. I mean, I love I think the ocean is fascinating and incredible But I would be more drawn to see to go to space. Yeah, I think that'd be wow Look at their heads always look like they're just so full of blood They're always upside down. It's terrible. I was checking out that space documentary. Yeah on the VR headset. Yeah And oh my god. First of all that technology is just so wild But there is a part, you know, when you that the difference between

VR Versus like watching something on a screen is your brain really does go like holy shit. I'm here and when you're outside The space station like you're on, you know, just outside so you're in outer space There's part of you that goes holy shit. This is fucking terrifying, right? And I imagine that if you You know, the ocean is also just one of this the scariest places that we can go and deep ocean Dark or they don't even know what's down there. Don't know what's down there No, darkest. Yeah darkest place and also you realize if anything goes wrong here

Just like in space. You're fucking you're dead. I mean, you're just compressed Like don't you just fucking live just get squished from pressure. Dude. I hate it. I hate both options Oh my god, what is down there? It's just all alien stuff too. Yeah terrifying. I mean I would just fuck dude. Look at that guy right there that you just passed on the right Uh, that one. Yeah, look at that fucking guy. Yeah, what's he up to? No good He doesn't he doesn't look Christian. I'll tell you that that's for sure Do you think the Muslims have colonized deep space? No

I hate it. Not a Christian. I hate it. Yeah, it's it's scary as shit I mean, it's fascinating. You want to you want to know more but I bet you being in those Those the subs that they send down there. I don't like it But however, you don't run the risk of like Like being thrown into oblivion like let's say you're on this the space shuttle and you get sent out to fix something on the wing of the ship or whatever And you're tethered and let's say that tethered just and then you're just you're just floating off Yeah, you're just gone. You're just gone at least with that you're in a vessel and you can go to the top and you can breathe air Yeah, but that vessel something can go wrong. Oh, yeah, you can just get right

Don't you just implode from pressure? Absolutely the pressure would it be so fast. The cool thing is you don't feel it Yeah, you know, so but also nobody ever sees you again. Like your body your brain everything is just mush It's just liquid putty liquid shit. Yeah, but in space you would in space you would suffocate, right? That's a new word suffocate I know you just you'd be out of oxygen and yeah, you know, you'd suffocate to death And that'd be crazy. Yeah, be crazy. You're just like Also when they're like, well, where's her body and they'd be like, it's just gone We lost it. It's just floating and do you decompose? I don't know in a few years. It'll be in Saturn or something. You're like, wait, what?

Just float it away And and also you don't even probably decompose right don't you just freeze because it's so cold out there You just turn into ice. Yeah, that's crazy. Do you think that they see dead dead astronauts when they're out there? No, just like parts of other guys and they're like, holy shit There's fred from fucking 72 no no no odyssey mission. No That'll be crazy. There's not a bunch of lost astronauts And also you wouldn't you wouldn't see them again. There wouldn't be like a fred. They're just frozen chucks But it's not it's not like a football field is endless like they would just you'd never see them again

Dude space terrifies me like nothing else. Yeah, let's just say that so that vr like walk out there It is it really Hits you like so scary. Yeah, and you know what's a trip to is that they go and they see sunrise and sunset multiple times a day Did you did you catch that bit where they're like, oh, there was a sunrise there's something you just get over it Yeah, that's terrifying that thing is so cool man. It's bananas space is terrifying Do you think we ever truly will become an intergalactic race the human race? Like do you think in 200 years will be like star wars where we Planet jump and stuff and that's what Elon's trying to do. Yeah, I don't think that's gonna happen

It's so inhospitable to human space. It's just Yeah, I think we can barely come in space let alone live. Yeah, thankfully every you know, it's crazy to think Everybody on the planet right now everybody in 200 years will be dead Isn't that kind of all the time comforting like no will all be all eight billion people on the planet will be dead Fuck yeah Right Yeah, everybody in this room in that room will all be dead. We'll be dead. Yeah Probably soon. I wonder who's gonna die first. Do you want to put bets on it? Who's gonna die here first?

Ah out of all of us. Oh Don't rub your grimy little paws. I didn't even know I was doing that. Yeah, it's a habit I don't want I mean How about this who lives the longest? Let's do that. That's a more pleasant bet Statistically, you would right? Yeah, but Josh Zolo's younger. Oh, that's right. He is younger. No, I guess statistically he would He would probably live the young lived the longest

He could have some freak disease. No, but there's also a couple other young ins out there. Oh, yeah the interns Yeah Um, I don't know Definitely not Not a dog. Definitely not a dog. Do you think I'd be the first to die? I'm not first, but you're in the first top three I don't think genetics are very strong with you. I feel like you're not. I mean that yeah, that tracks It's not you're not like you've already had and hold on by the way He's already had major injuries very young like he tore his ACL when you were like 18. Yeah, I had diverticulitis

Yeah, like you've already wrote this. I'm a gambling problem. Yeah, I see you get into like you're gonna be one of those like 58 or something like that. Yeah I agree. I mean that's longer than I expected. Yeah and then any And he's Half black. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah, that's a what's that good or bad high blood pressure or hypertension. There's like, you know There's things that are like more prevalent and um I don't know. I'd say I see him getting into his 60s

But could I could I tell you something though? And he's one of those people that's also a genetic anomaly. Yeah He's got that cockroach DNA. Yeah, we're like he doesn't have to shit like everybody else He doesn't have to eat like everybody else and his health is good. He might not live all of us. Yeah You think any lives longer than a hundred percent. Yeah, yeah, yeah a hundred percent I gotta tell you something else here. I'm not saying this as if like and then I will outlive everyone I think I'll probably like if my What I've seen in the family. It's not great It's not good like my granddad on my father's side died at 75. I think my dad died at

74 so that's almost the same and then on my mom's side The men have been she's got one brother. So my dad has a brother who's 80 81 still alive My mom has one brother left the other three are dead and That is all like 60s and early 70s. Okay, so dead dead dead So most likely if like those genetics are an indication of what's to come I see myself probably getting to a mate, you know, I'm I'm a generation younger

like things Are improved in my life, right? So I probably you know, I have more access to to Medical treatments and you take good care of yourself take care of myself So maybe like if I'm really lucky I'm like either one of these uncles who are still alive that are both over 80. Maybe right like But I think what's more likely is I probably make it to like late 70s. Maybe like If I'm lucky, that's not bad. And do you really want to live past that? No, I don't I don't want to be 85

Like I see the 80 year olds right now and they're on there They're both of them are still mobile and healthy enough to like do like they can go out. They can Hey, let's go to dinner. Let's they could take a trip if they wanted to But you also know that that can go like that like it could literally be like six months from now I could be like Hey, do you want to take a trip to and they'd be like I don't travel anymore? You know, I don't have a dream to be like 88 and Not mobile like that's not me either

So I think most likely if I'm lucky and I continue to like take care of myself and like watch those things You know, maybe I can get to the late 70s or 80, but also I could be 62 No, don't say that don't you know, we should do though. I think I have eight forms of cancer Yeah, you might but I do think if you and I make it to 70 we should start smoking cigarettes again Yeah, because I feel like I gave that up when I was 30 and that is the one habit. I regret giving up You know mr. Stein it sucks that I can't smoke there's teachers who in high school would stick to just the The curriculum and and then there's ones who just talk about life half the time and like you rarely touch on the subject matter

he was one of those guys And when he would get on one of his life rants, he'd be like I give up smoking When I was you know 45 I gotta tell you something If I find out I'm diagnosed with cancer the first thing I'll do is light up a cigarette Okay, he would tell us this like routinely and we'd be like, all right Well, I graduated high school. I went to college, you know I find out like 10 15 years later that he gets diagnosed with cancer and they go

Oh, he's smoking like a pack a day Like he went he was talking about this 15 20 years prior And the he said the moment I get diagnosed I'm lighting up a smoke and that's what he did Yeah, I mean look it does depend on when you get diagnosed and like yeah, he was probably like You know he was 70 when he got diagnosed he had to have been yeah, because he was like in his 50s or something I feel like from 70 on those years are just blessings and just fucking drive that train into the ground And like who cares?

You're not living your best life in your 70s. You're just kind of existing drugs He may as well smoke and do drugs and have fun and play with your grandkids if you're lucky enough to have those and What smoke do drugs play with your grandkids? Yeah, that's a good life. I hope our kids have children early so that I can Enjoy my grandkids Yeah, you just do some heroin when you're coming off a bender. You're like, oh still in my life Yeah, they don't know they're too young or G's kids. Yeah, who wants to see my naked bag of bones or G's too Like you'd have to really get some Some empathetic other participants to be like well look at this 75 year old fucking body. We're about to back

Imagine if you showed up to an orgy and you see like all kind of like hot bodies And then one old guy's like Let's get it started and you're like who the fuck is this guy? He's like we're all here to fuck, right? But then maybe there's a group of people that only fuck other 70-year-olds like we were saying Is that interesting the show always goes full circle for us that? Perhaps we could be a we could find a 70 year old fuck group Yeah, and then at that at that point you and I should swing Because our kids are grown, you know, who cares if you fall in love with somebody else in our 70s

You were we're all gonna die. Well, we're always all gonna die always always always You're always all gonna die. You're 70 years old and you're just at an orgy And I know I've heard the articles that old people be fucking, you know that in the retirement homes They fuck. Yeah, they fuck and usually there's one guy to every like 20 women or whatever So if you make it to 70 as a dude go to retirement home and just fuck Wait, would they give you drugs in the retirement home? I'm sure you could bribe a fucking you could bribe somebody and you have the Resource or that's the thing when you're old like that money coming out of your ass, you know You have a an orderly or a nurse and you're like I want some dilauded and they're like, uh, no

And you're like I have five grand that says you'll give me something. They're like, actually we will go get you some right now Fuck just kill me. I don't want to be in a home. Just have nurses at my house. Okay Okay, cool. I don't want to go live with other assholes. You don't know why not no fucking boring other people are imagine how boring they are in their 70s when it's all small talk all day long This fucking stupid ass bitch. Yeah, it's that guy. Yeah It's hard enough to find people to relate to in your 40s let alone your 70s. My god. That's true. That's true Hey, you know, um, one thing we've both noted and I think I feel like no one's really talking about it that much We're all kind of noticing it and just kind of not talking about it

um Is that so many people are masked up still still in places that you don't expect and you're kind of like Oh, yeah, it's like the remnants of the pandemic And you like walk into a place and you're like, oh, yeah the pandemic and then you're like, wait a minute like I was just in 10 other places nobody had and then you see people And the coffees like the coffee register girl Fucking full n95 I was on people on planes. I was on an airplane and I saw like a younger guy with an n95

I'm like, oh, do you have an active coveted infection? Like it's weird. It's an autoimmune disease like an asian like what's going on? Are we becoming asian? Yeah, are we asian or what like I was at I was at the gate to when I flew to la and there were six People saying together all mad all asian and I'm like, oh, yeah, but that was like pre-pandemic They were always you guys like yeah, you guys do that go ahead and then now

It's a few years later and you're like, what the fuck are you doing? Can I tell you it was so funny? Yeah I don't know how it came up in therapy like fucking forever ago. Yeah, I was like I I was telling my therapist. I'm like, yeah, I see people wearing a mask around me And she's like is that and I go is it because they are afraid of catching my disease or something? And she's like, no, what if they they're sick and they're trying not to get in that it changed my perception Anyway, the point is maybe we are turning japanese. Yeah as the song says turning chinese There is that thing. Yeah, you're supposed to if you're sick and you have to go out

You're doing it as a courtesy which is really nice So I'm wondering are people who are wearing masks now are they actively in a coveted infection? I feel like are they paranoid if they're asian So if they're asian they're going. Oh, we are We are polite. I'm I am preventing you from getting what I have. Yeah, it's nice if you're white You're like, I don't want your shit to get to me. Yes. So I think yes, when it's a white person you're seeing You're seeing someone who's paranoid about getting sick. Yes, and when they're not white I think they're like, I'm not feeling well. Yeah, I would hate to burden you with what I have

Yeah, and I when I see somebody wearing an n95 now. Yeah, automatically. I think oh that person's mentally ill You have severe emotional problems n95 on it's an oh no And not only that the n95 is so unpleasant to wear horrible It hurts. So if you're doing that for a three hour four hour flight Like you're really committed to your mental illness Or you should be like in chemotherapy and and you're trying not to get sick and I understand that Yeah, yeah, but if you're just a healthy paranoid idiot, n95 is serious. It sucks. That's what you do literally with

COVID like that's you have COVID Yeah, it's terrible wear that to like so you don't spread this thing to somebody else But it's like you could just wear the you know the fucking mall mask Yeah, the kind of more comfortable to breathe n95 you can barely breathe in that thing and see when I see white people wearing the comfortable mask I immediately I'm like you fucking cunt. Yeah, my friend that um Remember no tomatoes He's a n95 wear, you know, stop just everywhere like planes more than

You know, yeah, see it's mental illness at this point. It's a it's a it's dialed up Paranoia your anxiety is too high. You shouldn't leave the house and and here's think as someone that is anxious has anxiety In the past if you're that anxious about getting COVID stay home. He wore it in his stay home Stop shut the fuck he wore it at home. Stop. Yes. How many were people visiting his family his his His children and he had it on at his own home Why because he was like, what if you guys get me? It was he was a white thing It was what if you get me sick? Yeah, because he had a trip coming up. He was like, I don't want to get whatever you guys might have Yeah, I was like, bro, Lenovo

Come on What a fucking asshole Lenovo fucking Lenovo Yeah, it's fucking crazy. Yeah, there was a there was a coffee place here in austin and most texans are already like i'm over it We were over it a long time ago. Yeah Where we just recently like six months ago. I walked in and they're all masked up and they're like where i'm asking I was like, i'm not coming in here. I don't have a mask anymore. I'm done. I've had COVID like three times. Yeah, yeah, i'm done Yeah, that was that place. I remember I walked in that place and you're like they're like master at the door

Nope, Christina just turned around walked out. I took my kids too. I was like, we're not doing this I'm not participating in your fucking collective. It's too crazy at this point. Yeah, it's it's we've had we've had vaccines We have boosters like it's contained. Yeah, really Yeah, it was it was and by the way, I wore a mask when it was the beginnings and we didn't know and then I complied I'm I'm protecting you Why aren't you protecting me? I saw that shit one time. Yeah, that lady the lady walking out I remember a fucking face shield on the face shield for the she had a shield and she and a guy was walking up with She goes, I'm protecting you. Why aren't you protecting me? He goes. I'm outside

I'm outside. I will put it on as I get to the door Do you think the face shield Actually Did the face did the face shields really protect people more? I don't know. I wonder it's kind of performance based a little bit The thing can go under. Yeah, it was theatrical. Yeah, and I'm not an anti mask person. I'm worried. I wore it everywhere I did it. Yeah, I I did what was good for the community until it was kind of now. It's absurd. It's like guys. We've controlled this Anyway, you got an ebb and flow with it, right? Yeah, like I go with the program. Yeah, I'm I'm not like anti-vax or we're like I'm compliant

But fuck it. Oh, yo, so I want you to listen to this. I play this on where my mom's at This cat Is talking okay, and any has some theories as to what the cat is saying. Okay, but I want you to listen And tell me what you think this cat is saying. Okay. Is this the um, it's an audio drop. It's an audio file audio only Yeah, don't look just play it. Okay. Just listen Okay, right Right I think I got to put it in the blue file

Right Uh, that's kind of that's the cat that's a cat that can talk and it says that word Isn't that crazy? Yeah, that's um, I've never heard Play it again the cat Say that before Never heard a cat speak to be honest. Yeah, if there's this whole this whole lane of tech talks I'm really into a cat's talking. Yeah, and So this person's tick-tock it didn't it said originally the cat was saying wait, so you hear

Here you hear. All right. Do you want to play the full clip? Okay, close your eyes and listen nigga Oh, wait, hold on this is Wait a minute. Hold on. That's not the cat I mean, what do they say it's saying? So the clip is Nicole Oh, so I I heard I heard Nicole and I play this on where my mom's at and he's like, oh, no, that's the end It kind of sound did you see the um, did you see them hose that like that? There was two girls in the live. Yes, you saw that I put it on my feed

That was That she goes. Oh, I'm supposed to say happy birthday to nick. Yeah the nick last name G u r r. Yeah, and her face and then she says it twice and then you see her go So Can you guys pull that up? It's a tick talk. It's out there Let's play it because it's really funny and she's like happy to say it and then you see it register her face It was it's an innocent mistake. Yeah, that's it. That's all right. It's innocent. Of course. It's a happy birthday to nick You're watching

Someone in chat wants me to say that happy birthday nicker All right The face The face she's like Wow, yeah, she definitely got she got walked into that like Big words. Yeah Yeah Some dumb country bitch. Yeah. Yeah

That was pretty good, but could you imagine training your cat? I mean, I didn't know cats could talk, but they do now Yeah, it's pretty cool. That is pretty cool. It's cool thing to teach your cat Not the n word. Hey kitty. Let me know who wants to buy. Okay All right, um We uh Do you want time for one more? Can we do talks? Oh, you want to do talks? Um, let's see what we got here. Uh, yes Jesus christ Sit down, please

Sit down, sir. Sit down Now Jesus He puts his face right up to the I know the whole time I was waiting for his face to get like bitten off I wish so this is a rock wilder. Yeah, those dogs are no joke. That reminds me of this, uh, rock wilder What this uh, what's that kid that I saw god damn making the what's it called? Oh the barking out here This is a if you're listening this one's amazing. This is a kid

This isn't yes, like this is a young man on a bike on a bike just in the middle of nowhere The talent I mean that's it's so good There's no if you're if you're in the house right now, you're like don't go outside That's so aggressive. That's a kid on a motorcycle. That's perfect. Just doing that with his mouth. That's crazy Yeah, how good that is as the wild when someone can do the impression that well, so he even gets like I want to practice. I mean it's it obviously like I mean it sounds like is that good. It's a good start go ahead, right? Is that good you try

The barking Oh, that's it. Yeah It's that guy this is that guy wins. Yeah, he wins It's fucking asshole. That was awesome. It's a lot as a convicted felon What are some tools to protect your family legally since I cannot possess a firearm by state law So one of my favorite weapons is a crossbow. You hear somebody coming in your house crossbow Obviously safety first Take the safety off

Put it on your shoulder. Oh shit Yeah, right down the scope And bam now I want you to see that somebody's coming in your house. Yeah Try and take my small questions for a wooden tree. Imagine what that would do to someone trying to hurt your family Yeah, dog So another one of my favorite legal weapons to protect your family is the axe now I want to love the axe is obviously close quarter combat. You can do some damage. You can hit him Some damage slice them

But also if you have your crossbow put up safely and you need time to get to it and they're coming up the stairs I don't care if it sticks in them or just hits them This giant piece of metal with a blade on it going at them at full force Is gonna give you enough time to get your crossbow get your crossbow put that arrow in them Just like I did on the tree So what you do is Pretend that's your adversary coming up to hurt you and your family. You got it. You have this by your bed. Get it Tom Damn

Obviously the crossbow of the axe is to defend your house now. You must know how to box You must know some type of self-defense Boxing is your best strategy because Pepper spray as good as it sounds you're gonna get sprayed too. Yeah A taser it's too much of a risk to put your hand out there But if you're able to knock a motherfucker out real quick and get out that situation with your wife and kids Whether you're at a bar or you're out to eat with the family Learn to box hit them knock them out get out of there now if they come to the house

You really should take that phone call. It's a little distracting. Yeah, maybe stop recording and yeah So what have you thought of a plan in action first of all a couple things to stand out to me Is that a convicted felon? You know he's done some serious time always has a way of speaking the other thing is this dude It's like he sees threats everywhere everywhere, you know, you had a restaurant and your adversary gets your axe Like where are you going to dinner, bro? Like there's trouble everywhere this dude lives in like john wicks world or something, you know It's like there's not I don't know. There's not that much danger. Maybe

But whatever that's what happens to you when you're locked up though. Is that everything becomes like, you know It's like perfigial. It's how do I protect myself at all 24? All right, man This is daddy as a felon, you know the state the state, you know what I'm saying the state is trying to say you can't have a gun okay But here's my question, um, but if you use those objects as weapons, won't you get convicted anyway? Well, no, it's so it's illegal for a felon a felon can a convicted felon cannot possess a firearm So he's doing he's like, you know the way an account a tax person's like well if I set up this, you know

This s corp Then I don't have to pay That's what he's doing He's just like well, I can't be firearm, but I can have a fucking but an axe Swinging that somebody won't put him right back in prison anyway It depends on the circumstances I think if they're coming to get his family like it's taken like it's the fucking movie Took him yeah

Took him and he's Liam and then maybe he's allowed to do that. I don't know Uh, your prison your prison cadence is amazing. Well, he's there's also this video applies to felons only This is nobody else needs to watch this video. Are you a felon also and you're frustrated by the fact you can't carry? Oh, I'm trying to think of the name of the roast till we get from the whole foods if you shut up I don't need the company name. There's you and me in our 70s. I don't need the fucking name of the roast. Is it a rib roast? Is it a sirloin? Like what is it called? Is it that serious? You're the one that cooks and I'll be fucking Christmas. I don't know what it's called You don't read the pack That's and that's exactly how you act if you're the kid you're like guys this really

But you know, they've had this conversation fucking over and over or just she's so annoyed that he doesn't give her the exact information You think they love each other? Um, yeah, that's real love. Yeah, I mean once once you and I get to 70. Well, that's how we're going to be talking So there's I think there's a lot of god damn it. There's contempt in there. I think oh you think so Yeah, that's that's more than like I that's not I don't fucking know. I don't read the package He's like you read you make the same fucking thing every Christmas. That's true. You're right. Maybe it's a little too harsh Yeah, yeah dumb bitch stupid asshole. Yeah. God damn. I'm trying to think of the name of the roast that we get from whole foods If you shut up

Organic or anything Yeah, they hate each other actually Is it that serious you're the one that cooks and I'll be fucking Christmas Come on. He hates her. They hate each other. Right like this. They just hate each other. There's no joy left in that This fucking bitch. No, that's a nightmare actually Oh, that's awesome Okay, so we saw four girls Like young girls getting ready to do a cheer like they were like setting up to do a cheer and the dog walks up to the phone

That's recording them and pisses right on the camera. It's one of the most beautiful things I've seen in my life Yeah, that was fantastic. That was just like a palette cleanser And that guy's just super stoked about that pizza, but if I'm looking correctly I see pineapple on it, which is disgusting I don't think he's sitting on a mattress on the floor Yeah, he's got a lot to be thankful for. Yeah, he's got a lot You know what remember my friend Shane when he was visiting from canada remember how he told us that like Um, Hawaiian pizza is very popular in canada. It's like they're jammed. Yeah, he said that's like what everybody goes for Yeah, it's so gross because Hawaiian pizza the Hawaiian style that the pineapple and hamzing

Is a really polarizing order people either like like he's like they either love it like oh, that's their go-to But they despise it, you know, yeah, and I am in the despise despise Because it's not like they're using one of your friend. Yeah, I mean, I'm not a big pizza guy But if I do eat pizza, I do like you're gross some Hawaiian. See he's gonna die early. He likes gross things. Well, here's the thing I don't know if you're gonna die early, but you deserve to die early. Yeah For putting pineapple on pizza. Yeah. Yeah, you do deserve to die. We should walk them all into like a special place Walk them all in. Walk them all in. Here's the pineapple pizza. Oh, yeah, get them there, Tom Pineapple pizza. It's a little trails of pineapple pizza. Yeah, but like what type of thing can we use to transport all these people

Into like a camp type of scenario like a like maybe a train or something. I was thinking of playing fly them all Fly them all then crash it into the stadium I don't know what you're suggesting with trains Can I tell you my problem with the Hawaiian style pizza? Yeah, is that the pineapple is always canned and soggy It's not like they're cutting up dope ass fresh pineapple. No, it's always grody. You know, it's even more repulsive in the UK Yeah, they put fucking corn on pizza corn. Yep corn little nibblets on there. How excited he is One of my favorite foods. Yeah, but you don't put it on pizza brews. I put it on everything Fuck out of here, man. Are you uh, are you also like that any you like pineapple?

No, no, man. Those two things don't belong together. Thank you. No, they're great separate though Yeah, pineapple is great and pizza is great. Yeah, and together you deserve the fucking stadium Yeah, it's un-christian To like that pineapple. That's gonna be the new thing. You're going to the stadium and you're going to the stadium That's great. Yeah. Yeah, you absolutely deserve the stadium Yep I love Jewish people, but I'm also I'm not okay. All right, so Here we go

That's a chihuahua that can speak with an English accent. Hello. Yeah. Yeah That's so cool animals talking a little more racially friendly animal there. That's why dogs are better than cats so The debate rages on isn't that cute? Man That workout really tired me out. David gold. We've been running all day. Yep Oh boy. Oh boy. I need to I mean, I haven't done any real cardio run, but I need to get started again. Yeah So David gold 7135 on tiktok in case you're interested So just so you know the one that we played of him shirtless

Blew up for him. It did of course it did and of course, you know, he's like, yeah the shirtless one Yeah, that's like he has no idea 70 and getting after it still like he works out and like that doesn't he doesn't look bad at all No, especially for 70. Do you think he does orgies? I don't know. He wants to But yeah, I love that he thinks it's correlated Yeah to his nudity in that one. And by the way, your mom's house studios is now on tiktok That's why mage is on tiktok. And um, you know, I would say that you're the queen of the tox So I couldn't be more thrilled

There will be a lot of things there. We're gonna put um classic clips on there. We're gonna find we're gonna Reupload some of christina's finds the curated stuff And we're gonna do behind the scenes stuff here. I can't wait. I'm so stoked for this seriously I can see the pizza in front of you But do you ever miss the six pack when you blow up between fights? I'd rather be fat and happy than ripped them Like these people who are ripped all year round are nappy in my ass I don't care what they say just six packs sound. I look great, but I'd rather be fat and happy lot Yeah, I love him. So it's your mom's house on tiktok. Just you know, your mom's house. Yeah, that's patty

I remember this clip when it when it um When it went viral it was a while ago and uh, everybody loved that he was honest about it Like he just like sucks to fucking cut down. Yeah to be that stringent with your dial. Yeah be fought and happy lot. Yeah Great. I love his accent That's a stupid bitch holding a baby bear. Yeah, and a stupid bitch got bitten. Yeah, her face got dummy ripped open Fuck yeah, dude. That's what I was thinking of when that first the first one with the dog where the guy's like right there What's going on with this dog's mouth like that and the dog's like I thought about this clip because I'd seen that before too. Oh, yeah that little cub

Yeah latches on I think it tore her lip open and stuff. Yeah, that's what they do Better than the stadium That's filling in So last week we Oh my god played the video of the girl. Oh my god. I didn't know what I was looking at So we played the video of the girl that Got the tattoo up under her chin That this is what it looks like to get it filled in so they use a fatter needle that's got like five little needles

And that's how they black out your skin. It's tremendous. It looks tremendously painful and stressful. How come nobody um Like talks about appropriation when people do this Appropriation when people do this. I mean, isn't that like oh my god. I think the same exact thing like the newest form That's what I would think. I mean, she's literally inking herself Jet black any Is she on the team now, brother Jesus

Oh god, no, right, but do you feel like it's cultural out We up out of here. Are you sending her to the stadium or is she fucking coming over? No, because I mean, but she ain't doing it on her face though. She doing it on the neck. She black neck not black I mean, but there's people that have this literally Neck through their ankles now. Yeah, and some of them are even going like it's like on the outside of the face You're like you're fucking jet. You're jet black Yeah, because I mean even we ain't jet black. Yeah, that's what I'm saying

Yeah, there's like So if she got a lighter shade or darker shade of brown, maybe you'd be like that's appropriation But she's doing jet black. That's a little uncomfortable if you do like a caramel You know caramel that's different. Carmel's more offensive than jet black for sure. Yeah for sure because it's like I'm trying to like Yeah, it's almost like a like a permitan type shit. It's like permitan a little too dialed up on the tan. You're like Now what's interesting about this woman too is that her line is above the it looks like it's above It does so it looks like standard practice to go Yeah, but the thing is that the girl on the last video when we talked about that girl

she was like I've tried it and I showed them and she wanted to be under. Yeah, it's supposed to be under her Dude, it's such a poor girl Fuck dude No, but that's I guess it's like on that line that is so that black matches the glove Like it's it's ink black. Well, it's ink obviously, but I mean like that's so Dramatic right to see that and also doesn't it fade over time like black?

Generally fades to greenish tone like the do you have to redo this tattoo? I'm sure with time with time Goddamn, dude. I mean also you think she's gonna live long like this. Oh She's making all kinds of bad decisions. I before Nadav. Look at this chick. Definitely Jesus Definitely, she's gonna die way before. Yeah, this is poor girl. I mean her face her whole face is Todd it up. Yeah her cheeks or chin. Yeah, that's this is Yeah, that's a lot. That's so gnarly. Okay, you ready for this shit? I would like a mocha frappuccino Okay, I usually want the most pop your drink. It is one of the most pop your ones. It's awesome. I want one with all the time

Well, there they are 570 fucking calories 83 grams of fucking sugar 140 grams of caffeine. You know what I'm gonna do with this You know this shit that almost killed me That's where it fucking belongs. Have a good day. Remember don't want to kill you So he's mother fuckers kill us lost a bunch of weight and so he's a little angry that they sell that I am shocked that 83 grams of sugar is an mocha frappuccino 83 grams is a ton of sugar. That's how many candy bars. I actually would think that it's more than that How many how many grams of sugar and like a Snickers?

That's like two Snickers. No All right, 83 grams of sugar is what it says It's a fat bomb. It is not healthy for you. But did anybody think that it was healthy? 470 calories In the venti mocha frappuccino. I mean, it's a fucking it's like a milkshake, right? Like it's 32 grams of sugar. That's in uh What size is that added? That's a venti. That is a venti. Mm-hmm And then google how many sugar grant less the chilled one. That's like the no, that's not the one you go and get

How many grams of sugar are in like a Snickers bar? That's like eating two Snickers. No 20 grams 20 grams. So 83. It's probably an event. Fuck venti would be like the way to search that for the starbucks one Yeah, not large. Yeah, large would be there. Did you know the Starbucks doesn't call it large smaller medium? It's like 20 that means like 20, right? Pretty good. That's pretty good Yeah, look at that. It says there are calories there. It says 73 on that one. Yeah Pretty wild grams of sugar. Yeah. So that's 20 times three times almost four Snickers bars three and a half Snickers bars

That's crazy dude in a drink That's a lot 78 grams 78 grams. Well that guy's whole way of doing this is it's a really weird He's it's a little it reads that it's unstable. Yeah, that's why I liked it. Oh, is that popular? Yeah Is that one of the most popular drink? Yeah, let me get that. I like popular stuff You realize if you're selling you'd be like Okay

Well the frappuccino itself Is is basically you who it's you and it's you who mixed with um ice and coffee at starbucks A fart bucks and then you add in the chocolate and that makes it a mocha. It's really gross I've remember making vats of it. Don't want to be frapp. It's gross All right. Um, we got a run. Thank you guys for listening for watching. What a fun episode. We've covered so much There's gonna be a very important stuff. Yeah, very important um CS live christina p online calm tomcigura.com

Lenovo. Have a good one. Bye guys stupid I love I love hot sauce. Any of those what I'm talking about Well, right hot sauce is the best Hot sauce is the best What's crazy is I didn't even know that it was weird until I said it here What about either like a mixed fruit bowl salad or sauté, you know

Consus beans. Oh boy. It's good fruits are good Then I'll eat Hot sauce. It is legitimately the best. Any your dookie shoot is on its own Schedule how often are you sitting on a toilet and making a regular brown bowel movement? Possibly zero. Do you think a diet could have gotten to do with it as well? No, never heard of that. What did you eat yesterday? Hot sauce. What was dinner? Hot sauce. No one's saying he has a winning diet. I mean I like oh yukitaka. Yes Yukitaka. And their hot sauce is just fucking hot

Diarrhea out of the ass. Do these all give you diarrhea? Yeah. Oh my god. Is there blood in there? Yeah It goes like this I was having like a nice weekend and then after I hit flush I love that feeling but man, I fucking love the taste. Any? Do you love the taste? Any? I really hate this Hot sauce is the best. My mouth's watering. It is legitimately the best