Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - Size Matters w/ Rory Scovel & William Moore (PhalloFILL) | Your Mom's House Ep. 747

Episode Date: February 21, 2024

SPONSORS: -Go to https://Hungryroot.com/mom to get 40% off your first delivery and free veggies for life. This week on Your Mom's House Podcast we've got an airtight show as Tom Segura and Christina P welcome two guests! First up we have founder of PhalloFILL and self described dick whisperer Bill Moore, followed by comedian and painter Rory Scovel. Before welcoming the guests Kristin and Tim share an Aussie with a very filling challenge, recap their time in Las Vegas, rail on some larger Disney adults, and talk about facelifts and celebrity plastic surgery. Christina and Tom are joined by Bill Moore who introduces them to the world of cosmetic penile fillers and offers a buffet of samples for them to check out. They talk about the benefits, the risks, and everything there is to know about increasing one's size. Tom also introduces Bill to the Double Soul Shaman who has his own methods of making members grow. Rory Scovel joins the Main Mommies to talk about his new special and how the comedy landscape has changed for marketing yourself. He also reacts to some fun clips featuring some female pilots, a woman afraid of suds, a special drink brewed by the Double Soul Shaman, a school board meeting, and a cool Disney adult. They also chat about Rory's artistic endeavors and co-existing with bugs, plus so much more! https://tomsegura.com/tour https://christinaponline.com/tour-dates https://store.ymhstudios.com https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Your Mom’s House Ep. 747 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

There's people, let's say, in the cosmetic surgery world that you get a patient who's like, give me another facelift. And you're like, do you ever have a... I cut them off. You cut them off. Yeah. But here's the thing.

Let me give you... Let me give you... No more dick for you. You cut them off. One to ten, what do you think you are? Right now? Yeah. Six? Six and a half?

No. I'm higher. But I think this is a fucking two. No, no, no. He's right. This is like a two. Ha ha ha ha ha! higher but I think this is no fucking no no he's right this is like a two the best adventures are the ones we share so explore together with the 2023 defender 130 featuring increased cargo capacity and room for eight adults.

With unstoppable off-road capability, excellent on-road dynamics, 21st century connectivity and luxury interiors, you'll be capable of great things. The 2023 Defender 130, adventure, share widely. Contact your Land Rover authorized dealer for details. Welcome, good morning, good afternoon, good evening. We are rolling here in Tejas. It's another episode of Your Moms House. Your Moms House.

This is jam-packed, this one really is other level today. The rolling is. Great to you guys. I'll get through this one. Yeah. It's good stuff. It is good stuff. We. I'll get through this one. Yeah, it's good stuff It is good stuff. We've been very pumped for this one for a minute. We've been pumped. We've been loaded Quick reminder for some dates here your boy Tommy Buns. I will be in Portland, Maine February 29th San Antonio, Texas March 8th Belton, Texas

March 10th. I added a second show in St. Augustine, Florida. It's March 13th, and the next day, I am in Orlando, Florida, March 14th. Tickets are at TomSeguro.com slash tour. I think it's Orlando. Yep, that's right. You said that. Sometimes I mispronounce it.

Yeah. Bleh. Very nice. Yep. Very nice. Can I tell you, did you want to do a clip or may I tell you the revelation that I had? Tell me your revelation. I had a Pajitsky effect.

Tell me. Where do prunes come from? Where do prunes come from? How do they grow? Is that like a dried out fruit? Is it a dried out? You knew that. Plum or something?

How did you know that? I didn't know that. Do you know that I just put that together that prunes are dried plums? What are raisins? Dried grapes. But why don't they call them dried plums? Because they call them dried apricots. Why do they call them a different word? I don't know.

Why do they call raisins raisins and not dried grapes? I don't know. What about wine? What is that all about? Yeah, grapes? I don't know. What about wine? What is that all about? Yeah, it should be called liquid grapes. Yeah. Dude. Grape juice plus.

You're really on one today. Very impressive. Is it, this is a big thing you discovered? Yeah, because I was eating some dried plums the other day and I'm like, this is so silly. Why don't they just call it when it is? How did you figure out that that's what it was though? I saw it on the package, the pictures. It shows you the origin story.

It was out here and then it goes there. But I'm like, here's another dumb thought. Why does that make you brown? The dried version, do you know what I mean? If it takes all the juice out of it, they'll liquid the fiber. They always said though, if you had constipation to eat a plum, I thought that was a thing.

A plum, not a prune, I thought prune. Oh, and prune juice, prune juice makes you shit, sure. Sure, sure, sure, yeah. It's just, that was my revelation this weekend. Wow, thank you for sharing that. Thank you for saving that and sharing that, yeah. You didn't tell me that. I thought I was much more excited than,

I thought I'd be much more, I thought you'd be more enthusiastic about it, but. I'm pretty excited. Why don't we play this first clip and then we'll. That's just, okay. Well, no, that's really, that's really cool. I mean, I just blew somebody's mind. That's really cool.

So let's start the show, okay? Here we go. Today is day one of getting railed by 365 people in 365 days. So I'm starting off pretty vanilla. Today I am catching up with one of my old regulars who I haven't seen in like nine months. So it has been a while. We haven't really planned what we're going to do. All I know is he's taking me out for dinner and then I guess I'm going back to his and

we'll have some fun. I'm honestly hoping for a cream pie. A cream pie. But we'll see what happens. I'm a super hero And Christina Pajit And Christina Pajit Welcome to your mom's house Cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha Wow, isn't that cool? I have so many thoughts. Yeah. Well, so one a day for 365 days, but what if one day you're not feeling it? You got your period.

You have diarrhea. You're sick. People have, you got, you have goals. If you're not disciplined about your goals, you don't achieve your goals. That's true, Tom. Yeah. Like anything. You're like, oh, what if I don't feel like going for a run?

Well, then you're not going to run today. Yeah. She's David Gogginsing her love life. Yeah. Like anything. You're like, oh, what if I don't feel like going for a run? Well, then you're not going to run today. Yeah. She's David Gogginsing her love life. Yeah. Love is a different word I would use for this. Here's the good news. I don't think she's going to have trouble achieving her goals because she's she's pretty beautiful. She's pretty, very pretty woman. Yeah. And she's fine. She's accent. She's Aussie accent.

Yeah. I mean, I feel like actually also, she looks like this, if you told me this was someone's you know, journey goal, I'd be like, oh, I'm sure when I see them or I hear them speak, they're going to be clinically insane. And she doesn't seem like that, you know? Well. Well, I know. But what's really interesting is you got to remember something. This is day one, okay?

So what? Day one. Why do you gesture, it's one. You're in America. Number one. We're number one. Right day one day one What do you show me your hand though? You should do it like this This is gay. This is heterosexual Gay straight Oh my god Gay straight. No number one America. Three. Oh my God.

Day three. Did you see that? Yeah. What is three again? Three is two. Are you foreign? Like, why are you doing it like that? I'm half foreign. What is this?

Do this is what Latin? Latins do. I don't know. I just know this is three. This is not three. Yeah, it is. Foreigner. This is three.

This is three. Oh, give me a three, Josh. So yeah, what do you wear? What country did you learn this from? This is three. I don't know, but I don't I don't actually like this is so queer mocking someone because they're different. So I don't appreciate what you're doing.

Welcome to your mom's house. That's what we do here. Yeah. And then forever, you've I've always made funny for doing your like, I'm like, Tom, where's the car? It's over there. You point like that. This is also very weird. What is, is this because you're an anorexics? Yeah, anorexics. So either hand can do, yeah. I bet it has something to do with that because it doesn't make sense that your point, this is not normal. How do you give the bird to people? How do you give the bird?

Big bird guy, though. Show me the bird. It's sideways bird. This is totally queer. How about four? That's four, bro. Didn't they teach you in Kinder? Four.

That's so weird. You're so gay. Okay. It's vaguely sucking dicks. All right, show me the lady. Fucking horrible person. I'm about to get filled up and a baby juice facial at the same time.

This is day six of 365 days of getting railed by 365 people and we are well above our target at this point. But hey, I'm not slowing down. That's a good idea. That's what I'm saying if you get ahead of the game, then you get the day off. That's right, yeah. Yeah, it's like when we did the sober October challenges

and we were like, I'm gonna work out twice today. Yeah. You know, yeah. We want to take Sundays down. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Or you want to take off Thanksgiving Christmas, she should get ahead of

the game. She's like, I did. I got another one. I did my cardio and I lifted today. I'm feeling good. Okay, pretty cool. I've been put on this bit twice today and I'm exhausted. People do not realize how much energy this type of extracurricular takes out of of you. I'm so exhausted. I had a girl coming over soon and I had to cancel because I just can't, I've only got so much to give and that's what that's for in one day. So I think we're gonna hit my 365 way before day 365 to be honest.

Well, yeah, if you're doing four different deals. I think she said I was on the spit I think she meant like she had two two threesomes. Got you. This day. Is that right? Correct. Yeah so she already had two people at once twice in this day. That's exhausting. She's alright. God damn what an athlete. Yeah. So keep going. I just got railed by my plumber. What the hell? That was actually really unexpected. Like I had this plumber come over to fix my tarp in my bathroom, like not even thinking anything of it, but he arrived and he was so hot.

Like it's crazy. I know I'm 27, but like I forget that like I'm 27. I still feel like I'm 18. So when someone comes over and I'm like a plumber, I always picture like a 40 year old man. So when he came over and he was like 25 I was like what you're younger than me Yeah, that is a treasure. Anyway, it was really hot really tall like tattered. Oh, I'm thinking in my head I hope he bends me over this bench And fills me up and I must have manifested it because that's exactly what happened I didn't really have a like that though like he was fixing my top and we were talking and I was flirting and I told him about what I do for work

and one thing led to the other and yeah, I got a, he filled me up. I can't say that on TikTok, but he filled me up. That's awesome. You know what's interesting though, this is essentially the male fantasy. So like porn is a fantasy. It's not reality.

It's a woman, a beautiful woman who's like, oh, like whoever comes over gets laid, right? Sure. It's a hyper reality. It's not really what happens. And then this person is actually being like, no, this is reality for her. And she's saying it completely shameless, right?

Like most people would have some level of shame. It's like just an interesting psychology of what's going on with this person. Like how come there's no shame? Why so much pride? Well, I guess because we're in a different time now. No, it's not about the different time. This is an individual thing

because most people who are doing this would feel, most people who have this interaction would be like, I'll keep that to myself. It wouldn't be broadcast of like, got filled up again today. These people are, she might not be connected to what's going on inside of her. I really wanna, I think it's a really interesting.

She's not connected emotionally, babe. She has some issues. I'm gonna venture there's something wrong. No, there's something wrong. I know that. I mean, I can't imagine that the, if the family saw this, that they're like, that's our Becky. There she is. There she is. She's always been an extrovert. And she's always been so much fun. But I think the reason she can't feel shame about it, which is an interesting point, I really like this.

And I think it's because she's linking it to a goal. She's actually making it into like, this is just something I'm doing, so therefore I don't have to have responsibility for it. And I'm not trying to shame her, I wanna make that clear. What I'm saying is most people, the overwhelming majority of people would feel some level of

shame or at least that they should keep this to themselves. Sure. But when you make it, the overarching goal is like, I'm going to run a marathon. She's trying to make it into something valuable. Right. I'm doing it for the greater cause of this goal. I'm doing something that's hard to do. Not everybody can do this. Not everybody can do this. And here's how I'm doing this for the greater cause of this goal. I'm doing something that's hard to do. Yeah. Not everybody can do this. Not everybody can do this and here's how I'm doing it.

Really interesting stuff. Yeah. I left my boyfriend and I've been traveling for 10 days and I've slept with 22 people in that 10 days. These Aussie girls, huh? My goal was 20 and I just hit 22 this morning. Goal. It's 1 p.m. now here in, and I need to check out because I'm going home. I really doubt I'm gonna get another one on the board either on the plane or like on my layover. So I think 22 is where we're gonna cap it out, but how did I go? I guess the other interesting thing

is this stat chasing thing is usually something you associate with males. Males, yeah. Yeah, so that's why the other part of the youth that goes like, wow. Yeah. Well, that's why it's a cool time for women. It is a cool time.

They're equal and we can do what the guys are doing. I mean, listen, my first thought always goes to herpes, genital warts, AIDS, like just all the diseases one can catch. Yeah, but that's like somebody who goes, oh, if I go run, what if I tear my Achilles? What if I get cramps? What if I, you know what I mean? Sure.

Like you're just looking for excuses. Right. Right. Supposedly not looking for excuses. Right. Right. It's like, I can't run. You see the end goal.

My ankles are weak. Yeah. Yeah. No, I got you. Oh, plantar fasciitis. How about fucking get out there and do it. Get out there and do it. You fucking dipshit. Well, she did 22 and how long was it? A day, she said.

I don't know. I found this. Few days. So cool. Yeah. And here's the problem though with this challenge. Yeah. I'm gonna put this forward.

Yeah. For guys, it's a little trickier, right? Yeah. Because they have to seduce and lure and lie and you know and do the thing. For a woman to get laid it's really simple. I could shout in the parking lot. Who wants it and somebody is gonna give it to them. Give it a shot see what kind of numbers you can get. So I you know what I changed my mind I'm not impressed by Miss 365 or 22. In fact, listen, if I were a different place in my life, I would double her challenge.

What's 365 times two? Oh, my God, no one can do that kind of math. I think it's easy. I think it's bullshit. I would say 730 in a month I could do. What's that what's 730 divided by 30 24 guys in a day easy That's basically one an hour every hour. Yeah, that's what I would do. Well, that's like ultra marathoner Yeah, some people do 100 mile races. Okay, and you go whoa

This is not hard for a woman especially cute blonde girls to get laid. Yeah. It's shooting fish in a barrel. Now, if she were unattractive, maybe a little heavy, something's wrong with her. Yeah. Missing a limb and she goes, I'm going to do 365. I'd be like, okay, this bitch has got a challenge. Yeah.

Right? This is not a challenge. I hear you. I'm not impressed. Yeah. Well, This is not a challenge. I hear you. I'm not impressed. Yeah. Well, it's settled. You're just a run-of-the-mill whore. Not impressed, whores.

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Right now, you can get $50 off your purchase of $500 or more with code yourmomatbluenile.com. That's $50 off with code yourmomatbluenile.com. BlueNile.com. Please, women getting laid. It's easy. Have you ever been seated at a restaurant and found that you couldn't fit comfortably in a seat or booth? Hey everyone, we're Plus Size Park Hoppers and we range in sizes from 2X to 5X. Like this video and follow us for more Plus Size Disney content.

We're starting a new dining series called If I Fit, I Sit. In this series, we'll go to different restaurants on Disney property and beyond, showing you the types of seating they offer, whether or not we find it comfortable, and we'll also review the food. I don't know why these people don't do what I did.

Just feel immense shame about the way you look and feel. Yeah, stop embracing who you are. I hate it. We know how it feels to walk into a restaurant and only see chairs with arms on them. Don't do that. You know what you do at that point? You turn around and you leave the restaurant

and you leave it for the regular folks. You leave it for the normals to eat there. Yeah, it's not for you. You go to a barn and you eat with like size people Be anxious about whether or not you'll fit our goal is to help you feel more it don't eat that there are accommodations out there Comfort atmosphere food and drinks. Here's, by the way.

Don't you hate when you see arms on a chair? What the fuck is wrong with you? Who the fuck is thinking that? There's arms here? I guess, this isn't for me. Jesus Christ. Sit on the floor. That's what they should do.

If you walk into a restaurant and you don't fit in the chair, you eat on the floor until you can fit in the chair like in Afghanistan Jesus Christ no you should be a pig you should be treated like a pig They have a trough where they put the food in by the way. Did you catch that these are Disney adults? Yeah Disney so this is an account not only for Disney adults, but plus size Disney I got it whether or not they can go to their stupid park of their choice. And have you noticed this by the way? The common denominator in all Disney adults.

They always have a really high register in their voice. I know, they were all... Children. Yeah. The trauma is so apparent. There's a reason they love Disney and they're 400 pounds. They got more... A trauma.

Yeah. Have you been dying to eat at Steakhouse 71 at Disney's contemporary resort? and they're 400 pounds. They got my. Ha ha ha ha. A tromba. Have you been dying to eat at Steakhouse 71 at Disney's Contemporary Resort? But you weren't sure if you'd fit. Hey everyone, we're plus size park hoppers. New range in sizes from two X to five. Holy shit. On this episode of If I Fit, I Sits, we're eating at Steakhouse 71.

This restaurant opened in 2021 and quickly became one of our favorites. The majority of the seating here is table seating, but they also have boosts. The chairs the seating here is table seating, but they also Some of the chairs have arms for you are welcome to swap them out if needed as for the booths It does look like the tables move, but you can always request a table if that's what you prefer We've been lucky enough to try brunch lunch and dinner here today We're having a menu here is pretty small, but everything is delicious. It's a small menu. I actually started out with a wedge salad.

Oh yeah, sure. And yes, we do eat salad, despite what some of you might say in our comments. But she eats it with bacon, ranch, and cheese, and hamburger meat on it. Yeah, is that bone marrow on your salad? Fucking A, man. God, are you kidding me?

I feel like if you're a Disney adult, you have to register on a website somewhere. Just to let the normal parents know, like, hey, I'm severely mentally ill, and I'm gonna be there, too. You know what I mean? Just let the world know that you're fucked up. Do you want real Billy to come with us to speak in a Disney? No. No. Sarah got the petite fork and knife pizza salad, which she really enjoyed. And the star of the show is this amazing French onion stew. Pull a cheese.

Sarah gets this every time we come. Take a look at this cheese pull. Have you ever seen something so beautiful? Cheese pull. For Anche's, Ashley got the prime rib sandwich. She thought it was good, but the prime rib was a little dry. Katie got the best burger for a while. I messed up near stop, right?

A little dry. She's still eating. I'm done today. She ate right through that dryness. Get out of here. They should do the real segment, which is like how much diarrhea they had at Disney. I thought you were gonna say how diabetic they are. Well, there's that too. I gotta also just say this.

I had an incredible time in Las Vegas. Yes. Way too many days. I like having like a 48 hour max, but we had a huge promotional week with poor Osos. And we did, I lost track of the amount of events, but I have to give a shout out. First of all, I have to thank everybody that came to all the stuff that we did, all of you that got tickets to the show.

It was one of the greatest shows I've ever been a part of. I mean, Trevor Wallace opened the show, Bobby Lee went next, Shane Gillis went next, then Bert and I went up. We sold out of Porosos in 15 minutes. Oh my God. We sold a fucking insane amount of Porosos merch. We had a crazy after party. So many people came to like support us. Jelly Roll came, Kimmel came, Vince Vaughn was there.

Got a big country came, Michael Che, Dan Soder. I'm forgetting people. Chrissy D came. I mean, it was like it was so many people and it was just like, it was incredible to feel that level of support from people. It was really awesome. It was really awesome. We had our punt pass kick event, Will Compton. I gotta say thank you to him. Warren Sapp came to that and participated. Joey Fatone came and participated. And it was just like, it was just so much fun.

And so many people just like supporting us, showing us love at all these things. And it was just like very humbling. And I don't know, I was a lot of gratitude. Rich Eisen, Gronk, Edelman, they were fantastic. And it was just, it was a lot of fun. A whirlwind, as they say. Yeah, that's exactly how to say it. Yeah

Well porosas is an exceptional vodka and I am not even a huge vodka drinker and I love this vodka because it doesn't taste like Rubbing alcohol. No, you know what I mean? Like it's it doesn't have that awful after staying where you're like a lot of people don't know But you'll find out and we also will, we now added Nevada's also gonna, so we're supposed to start with California, Texas and Florida. And on that trip, MGM was like, we want to carry it in all our properties. We were like, holy shit. And then I can't say which yet,

but then a major sports team was like, we'd like it to be the official drink of our tea. And I was like, well, that's cause it's good. It's awesome. And we were, yeah, people think that was like, we'd like it to be the official drink of our team. Well, that's cause it's good. It's awesome. Yeah, people think that we, like for, people think like, oh, you just threw your name on something. They don't know that we went through this whole process for a year and a half.

Well, and we were even doing, we met with the mixologist and we did special drinks. And man, it was so good and fun. I actually feel like I don't really have to sell it because it honestly sells itself. Yeah. Yeah, so we're very fortunate and super thankful to everybody that came. Thank you for coming and thanks for showing the support.

It was awesome. We're really, really, it was really cool. I don't think Disney will carry it, but I think that a lot of other places will. Did you... What? Had we talked about Bradley Cooper's thing? No, not yet.

Not in, no, not on the show. He had a cool face lift. I know. And maybe start thinking about my face lift, my upcoming face lift. Yeah? Are you gonna do a full thing or a mini? I don't know.

Blefs, upper, lower? I wanna do lower blefs. Yeah, I wanna do my eyelids. Cause you know, my dad had it done when he, lower. I want to do lower blefs. Yeah, I want to do my eyelids, because you know my dad had it done when he was 50, I'm almost there. Look how they're drooping. I look like a dog, I can barely open my eyes. I need to get them cut.

I'm going to do it the summer, I think. I think really good lower blef work is a game changer. Yeah, you can do it many times. I want to do lower blefs. Yeah, I think you should. You see tight blefs, you're do it. I want to do lower bleffs. Yeah. Yeah, I think you should you see tight bleffs. You're like Time bleffs at some good bleff work because here's the deal man He didn't need a full facelift. Well this before by the way that one is from fucking 25 years ago But I know his more recent one. Yeah, it's like he didn't need it. You don't think so

I think Bradley Cooper was aging just fine, maybe with a little Botox. He's a very handsome guy. And Philzies. I don't know why he went full face. He didn't even need it. Well, yeah, but again, those are, that's many years apart. Okay, so. Some of these examples are like that one above right there, that's probably, that's before

and after is probably more recent. Okay. So he pulled too tight. You know what he could have done? What you're talking about, just get me a little bit of eye stuff. Just give me a little bluff work, baby. Cause they pulled him back.

Look, they did too much. Look at the eyebrows are too lifted. They pulled him too hard. Although it would be cool to do stand up after like a really extreme facelift. And we're just like, how's everybody doing? That's crazy for me in Phoenix. But here's the deal.

I think you should always be honest about plastic surgery. And when they deny it, it's just silly. So here's what happens. The handsome guys, the movie stars, they get cosmetic surgery and don't talk about it. And then the action stars are all on juice and then they either deny it or don't talk about it and by the way every fucking single one of them every one of them they're all juicing and I don't mean like tea like I

take a little tea I'm talking these dudes are on all of it what's all of it deca's all of it? Deca, Anivar, Tren, HGH, they are taking huge cycles. Dude, they're regular dudes. They're not fucking superstar, they're regular dudes. They're in their 40s and 50s and they're like, go, go, go, and you're like, oh yeah, chicken breasts. Nah, bro, that's not how that happens. And then there was a few that I was like, oh maybe that guy isn't.

And then I asked their representative and they were like, oh no, fucking juice to the gills. Of course. Yeah, they're all juiced out. And then the big thing is that they go, no. Like, or they don't talk about it or they deny it. It's so fucking weird. But why, I don't understand why deny.

Who cares what you do? I don't care. I think the reason that they deny is that people think if you juice, just juicing will get you that body, right? And the truth is you have to work out, like you have to be working out really hard. You still have to be disciplined with diet, but that's how you achieve this at this age.

And they feel like it takes away from the real work that they're doing. So like they, you know what I mean? And I think they don't want to be seen as taking shortcuts or doing so. So they just deny, which is silly. What's going to happen though is that we're in an era where people are learning more and more about it and we're starting to go like, oh, okay. Like more people are onto it going like, oh, I know that this is bullshit.

And we're gonna get to a point where everybody understands it and then maybe at that point, is it will be the year of admission, you know? Where people, but it's so silly. But yeah, the plastic surgery is the other one. Like somebody's fucking 55 all of a sudden they're like, hi, and then they go, no, I just rest it. Do you know that Kylie Jenner claims

to not have had plastic surgery? They're the most extreme. All those girls look nothing like they did. Bring up Kylie Jenner, her before and after. She was turned 17 or 18. It's so weird. Why are you, why are you? Why lie?

Just be like, hey, I have a brilliant plastic surgeon. I afforded this. She claims it's just filler and Botox. No way. No way. She's got a whole new face. Jesus Christ. It's not even the same person. She looks like an Instagram filter. She looks like it doesn't look like the same person. It looks like somebody who's a fan of hers. Yeah. You know. No, it looks crazy.

That is not Botox and Phil's. He's that's a whole, whole face. It's great. Look, she had her chin made me the ears are probably pulled back. All of it. Brow lift because the arch on the eyes is different. They did her. Yeah. The shape of her eyes. That's she's like, I didn't have anything done. Yeah. She only claims to have Botox and Feller. It's so stupid.

Why lie? I don't know. Nobody cares. But also, her and every sister, they all did it. Of course. They all look completely different. Because they all look the same. They all look identical.

Yeah. They look like the mom. They probably all went to the same doctor. Whoever it is, give me the name, because brilliant work. Well, I'll tell you what. Good work. When I get these bleffs done. You guys are going to know. I tell you what, I'm get these blefs done. You guys are gonna know.

I tell you what, I'm meeting with a guy pretty soon here in LA to get my... A blef guy? A blef guy, to get my lids done, because these guys are drooping, I can barely see through. They're gonna call me Tommy Blefs when this is over. Good, do it. Why the fuck not?

Let's get, let's start. Let's take a quick break, we'll be right back. Tommy Blefs. Let's start let's take a quick break. We'll be right back Sup all my people out in pod land. This is your boy Chris Chapman and I have a new podcast for y'all the Chris Chapman do-over And guess what's up? I have a new lady co-host on the pod Introducing Frankie name sounds like a man, but she looks like a woman my mic is on And with me as always my sidekick, my main man, the human Googler, the professor! Greetings, my humans.

And all of us are gonna give our hot takes on today's issues, like pickleball. I think it's a made up sport for grandmas and grandpas. Social media. Like, don't you feel like that's what the internet is a lot of times, just a little bit of little piglets? Therapy. I sometimes think that therapy is for losers. So join us on the Chris Chapman

do-over as we break it down. Have some fun and get into it. The improvised Chris Chapman do-overs in Odyssey and Paper Guy production and stars Ike Baronholz as Chris Chapman and features weekly guests such as Fred Armisen, Bizzie Phillips and Amy Poehler. Listen on the Odyssey app or wherever you get your podcasts. On average, it takes about 30 days for a person to break their New Year's resolution. So if saving money was on your 2024 list, your odds are not looking that great. Luckily, I have a 100% guaranteed way to save you money this year. Just switch to Mint Mobile. Right now,

Mint Mobile has wireless plans starting at $15 a month. That's unlimited talk, text, and data for $15 a month. We have a Mint Mobile plan right now and we're paying less than half of what we paid previously for a cellular plan. All plans come with unlimited talk and text plus high-speed data delivered on the nation's largest 5G network. To get your new wireless plan for just 15 bucks a month and get the plan shipped to your door for free, go to MintMobile.com slash mom. That's MintMobile.com slash mom. Cut your wireless bill to 15 bucks a month at mintmobile.com slash mom additional taxes fees and restrictions apply see mint mobile for details And we are back and joining us very excited to have in the studio is

Bill Moore the owner the creator and the guy that runs fallow fill Correct correct Fallow fill, correct? Correct. Fallowfill. Fallowfill, is everyone's excited? I'm sorry. Well, I'm sorry. Thank you. You know, this has been, I think, a topic that never ends. I think every man, certainly, at some point in his life,

maybe for all of his life, has an obsession with his genitals, and he has a desire to, in most cases, enlarge them. I agree with you. You know, I tell people when I speak to them and my friends, I can't imagine one, I'm not sure that there are, most men, if they had a solution that they knew was safe

and would leave them symmetrical and undetectable, would make their penis a little bit larger at least. A lot larger or at least a little bit larger. I think every man, they may not want to admit it to their friends, but I think if they could do it in privacy they would. Yeah, I mean, there's some guy, I mean, one of the guys in the booth there is like, oh, not me man, my shit's already nice. I'll let you guess which one said that. But the majority of men, and we also have like probably almost an unhealthy obsession

with like how we feel about it, what it says about us, it affects people's confidence, right? And it's just something where, you know, men always see that women, especially through the course of our life, went through this huge leap in breasts. Breasts are a big, you know, confidence thing for women. Some do get them reduced, but the majority has been this whole world of women, like, enhancing their breasts. Of course.

And it went from the initial phase where they were just like boulders and they're just like rock solid to like now like it's undetectable in some many ways, right? So how did you come up with this solution or what you've been doing? How did this start? Well, I guess you might say that my interesting girth enhancement started back in 2010

Have you guys heard of what's called the P shot the pripy shot? It's a procedure where we draw blood and we spit out your platelet-rich plasma And then it's re-injected back into the penis and it rejuvenates they use it in the face for rejuvenation platelet-rich plasma rejuvenates, they use it in the face for rejuvenation, platelet-rich plasma, a rejuvenated penis. Vampire face lift. That hurt, yeah. Okay, so it's the same concept. So the blood is drawn, you collect the growth factors

and you inject it back into the penis. It was supposed to make the penis grow. That's how it was presented in the very beginning in 2010. It didn't do that. But I sent a newsletter out to 10,000 of my clients because I owned a really large Metspaw But I sent a newsletter out to 10,000 of my clients because I owned a really large Metspaw and I sent a newsletter out and it was overwhelming how many men responded back

that had an interest in the P-Shot. Well, then I began to do them and I didn't get the results that I had promised. So we had to pull that back and stop promising garth enhancement but we were able to make their penis perform better. So we got better sexual enhancement from the procedure, but not growth.

So people continue to ask about it for years and years and years. And it wasn't until during COVID, I had begin to see more patients come in that had girth enhancement with silicone. And some of them were using a product called PMMA that's basically acrylic beads that's not meant to be used for dermal filler, but it's used a lot in Mexico for dermal filler and It was placed

Unevenly it was not symmetrical. It was lumpy. It looked really bad. So I knew that people were doing it I talked to a urologist in Mexico that was doing it and kind of got some ideas of how he was doing it. I talked to a plastic surgeon in Mexico city that was doing it. I talked to some urologists here. I talked to a dermatologist here and kind of found out what I thought was working. And when we were closed for COVID, um, I began to experiment on my friends. Really?

I had some friends that volunteered. Come over, let's have a drink. Well, they might have had a drink. Yeah, yeah, so come over, we did have the clinic. So the clinic, I could go into the clinic. So we did it at the clinic and we began to experiment. And I came up with a way to lay the dermal filler evenly and they had a really good outcome.

How many injections are making it even? Like how many? So if this was the shaft of the penis We're gonna lay dermal filler all the way down the shaft on both sides Okay, and we and it has to be done evenly and so I teach the urologist that are our providers how to do this procedure We have 21 locations I believe now we've got five more that I had signed up and I think I have five more on a waitlist to train with me will be at 30 providers or 30 locations across the country Before the end of the summer. I'm sure this filler increases the girth of

Your flaccid penis and erect and erect so it goes in in Disproportionals so if you so if you if your flaccid penis is here, your erect penis is most likely here. I got you. Okay. If we take you each treatment that we do, moves you up one step. So this is, these are all quarter inch increments. Okay. And each procedure increases your girth one quarter of an inch. We're very slow. We found that doing it very slow keeps the filler in place and keeps it symmetrical. When you try and inject a whole lot of it at one time, it's when it moves around. Now how long does this last?

Well I have it in me from 2020 that has not gone away yet. We have many patients from the very beginning that have not lost it.. We have many patients from the very beginning that have not lost it. So we are telling patients three to four years, but I think it's longer. I think it's gonna be longer, but we just, we can't promise what we haven't seen. May I ask you this though,

because I do filler under my eyes and that's about a year. Why, you wanna know why? Yeah, why the difference? Let me tell you. So there's two, that's a good question. That's a great question. Thank you. So there's two layers of fascia? I'm gonna tell you. So there's two, that's a good question. Thank you. So there's two layers of fascia.

I'm gonna tell you how the erection works. There's two layers of fascia in the penis. One is called the bux fascia and the other one is called the dardus fascia. The dardus fascia is the outer and the bux fascia is the inner. What I want you to think about is one of those water hoses that is fabric

and whenever you turn the water on it expands and it gets rigid. Oh yeah, I love those. Yeah, and then when you turn the water off it gets soft again and you can move it around. That's exactly how the fascia works in the penis. It's very flexible whenever your penis is soft and then whenever it becomes erect and it's just full of blood, that's what it is, that makes it hard, the pressure expands and the fascia holds the penis erect. So what injectors have been doing was

they had been putting the dermal filler between the fascia and the skin. So it felt like a water balloon, it was very spongy, it wasn't firm. We found out a way, or I found out a way to put it below the first layer of fascia in between the second layer of fascia. So here's the layers of fascia. We put it right in between. And that's what I teach the urologist how to find and how to do. So now we put this dermal filler between these two layers of fascia. They don't,

they don't have any blood flow and they don't have great lymphatic drainage. So it doesn't metabolize nearly as fast because it's free floating in the face and it's able to metabolize really quickly. But in the layers of fascia that we put it, place it in, that being behind that layer of fascia keeps it firm. So when you get erect, you cannot tell that there's dermal filler in there. It's just as firm as it always was. And it lasts because it's trapped between these two layers of fascia that just don't have the blood flowing

in lymphatic drainage. Can you do labias next? Let me start working on that. Now, some people, because I'm sure I'm curious, what about the head? Can they do? So lots of providers outside of our network do the head. They do the glands, but it's a totally different

type of tissue. It's nothing at all like the tissue in the shaft. What if they want the tip of their dick to look like a top hat? Well, here's, we don't, we personally don't do it at all. Let me tell you why. Because when you inject it in, it can't spread. The tissue is not the same.

It's very spongy. It's a very spongy tissue. And it's very rich in blood. It's like the face. It will dissolve even faster because it's so rich in blood. And so it won't last long and it looks like acne whenever people try and do it. I dissolve it for people

because people will have it done somewhere else and they'll come to us for correction and we'll dissolve it out But we don't have a way just yet to make the glands larger are these sizes that are on display on the table Are these supposed to be flaccid sizes or just it can be either one either one? So what we can do is um, let me put my glasses on so me too hold on I want to get a better look at these guys. Yeah, this starts at three inches I want to get a better look at these guys. Yeah. This starts at three inches.

Thank God. Delicious. And you know, some guys will come to us and they are in these two areas, flaccid. Most likely their erection is probably somewhere over in here. So what I can do is I can ask a person, tell me what your erection is. They can look at it. They can say, I'm somewhere between here and here. I hand it to them. I say close your eyes close your eyes feel that hey

Yeah, so that I had something funny one day whenever I was in clinic and I was and I told a guy to put his hand out Yeah, he said oh wait. I did this in high school and it didn't go really well So anyway, um, this is um, we let them decide where their erection is. So they'll determine. This is where I am. Can you see that one again? Hold on. We're getting there. Is that close? I mean, it's kind of. Okay, so let me tell you. So what I would tell you, if you tell me that this is where you are, I would say the females,

the research shows that somewhere in here is the best for stimulating the female. So that's between 5.75 and 6. Like a baby's arm. That's where women have reported to have the best sex. Really? And it's not about the link, it's about girth. Right, sure. It's about stretching the wings. So instead of the tuna can there on the end.

This is a lot with flanks. It's a lot of dog. For those guys listening that are like, yeah, but I want a big longy. It just ends up hitting your cervix and it hurts. The nice thing about whenever you have this. You like to take this for a spin. Huh? That's a spin. Maybe for your

birthday. It's a liquid death can. I've got two guys that are larger than this and I don't have any idea where they put it. Oh, hold on. Can you make it darker too like this? Can you go darker in pigment? I think that's called Milano tan. There's some injection for that. Wait a minute. I gotta ask this for other, I got a lot of questions for you. So do I.

So there's people, let's say, in the cosmetic surgery world that you get a patient who's like, give me another facelift. And they're like, do you ever have somebody who you're like, hey man. I cut him off. You cut him off.

Yeah. But here's the thing. Let me give you, let me give you. No more dick for you. He cut him off. But sometimes they, they taught me into continuing. Let me tell you some reasons. Okay.

So if the penis is going to be too large and I believe that it's going to be misshapen and it's going to like look unusual, I generally warn the guy if it's a single guy then he definitely does not want it to be misshapen if it gets to be too large because he's on the dating market people have to be able to see it. I've had some men tell me my wife has had five vaginal birth vaginal births and I'm only going to see my wife and she doesn't care what it looks like whenever it's flaccid. I want you to keep going because the more that you put in, the better her orgasms are. And so in that situation, I say, you know what, it's okay.

I'll keep going because it's not, it's not a body dysmorphia issue. It's actually trying to please his wife that's had multiple vaginal births. Let me ask you this. If the guy goes too far, how do you dissolve the filler? So we have a product called hyaluronicase and it is an enzyme that breaks the bond and it basically turns the dermal filler into sugar and water and it dissolves. And so we use that for sculpting. So we get to the very end and let's just say that this is a penis and it has a little

bit of a little Irregularity here on the side just a little one I can do just just a few little droplets of Haryuanidase in there and just smooth it out and make it perfect. So we're sculptors these fillers will Increase your flaccid and erect size and your erection will maintain will still be a full normal erection Yes, and you're gonna look longer when you're flaccid. So if you look at our before and afters, people say, well, look, you did make it longer. We just made it hang better because it's got a lot of weight in it. It's heavy. I mean, sometimes I had a guy tell me one time, he's like, I lay down on my chair on my side and I feel my penis lay next to

me. He was kind of joking, but you can feel it in your pants. Like people say I feel, and they say I feel different when I'm at work. When I'm sitting at a business meeting and I can feel, like can I say dick on there? Sure, I can feel my dick in my underwear. It just makes me have big dick energy. I had a guy.

This is what we're all after. I had a guy that came in last week and he said, do you have no idea what this has done for my career. He said, I was stagnant in my career. I was not motivated. Now I wake up in the morning. When I'm get out of the shower, I see a completely different person than what I saw before. My energy is different. I go to work. I'm more assertive.

I'm more productive. I mean, I've heard it a lot. I mean, this was just last week that someone told me, but I've heard this many times that people become, they start new businesses and they just feel different. They date. I had a guy that told me that he was on Tinder and he said, you would not believe the tears that I was able to move up on Tinder dating

when the size of my penis changed. Yeah. I believe it. Like a totally different, totally different group of women. Can I see some photos of these penises? I'd love to look at photos. They're on the side. They're on our side. Can we look at some of the porn afters? I'd love to see them just for science, you know.

Dash and. Oh, wow. Oh, look, you even straightened out. Look at that one on the right. Okay, I'm going to ask you because you're a female. Sure. The left side, would you even want to... The left, wait, the far left guy?

Okay, the far right guy, there's two photos. Yeah. And the left picture is the before. Mm-hmm. Would you want that? Oh, I'm so open to so many peoners. Okay. I love them all. All flavors and sizes. He looks so much better on his after.

Yeah, he does. He looks so much better. Yeah, no, it's amazing. I'll say it. If I was jacking guys off, I would want the guy. He'd want the guy on the right. Yeah. Ha ha ha. I mean, that's miraculous.

Scroll down. Is there more? There are more. But I wouldn't even know that's the same guy. I was trying to get you to the page where you don't have to give us your information. It was before dash and dash after up to the top before and dash right there. That I think is gonna take you to all of them.

This is the whole library. Go down, we've got better ones. Dude, the hang's totally different. They look longer. And we don't, I don't like to go over, over the top with him. I just, I would think it would be nice, nice. Very nice enhancements. Just sometimes it's just three quarters to an inch enhancement. I mean, we're not, there's a lot of providers that look like hot dogs when they

get finished. Yeah. And that's not what finished. And that's not what our goal is. We want them to be undetectable, give them more confidence when they look in the mirror in the mornings, more confidence dating. That one's very subtle. I like that. Can I ask you this? Yeah. Have you ever had a black patient?

Yeah, okay. Keep going. Those are lots. You know that BBC, Big Black Hock is not true. Well, here's the thing. I actually feel that like it also needs to be said that if you're a black guy and you're feeling like, God, I don't have some.

That's worse for them. Right, because they're like everybody's expecting it. I did it. Yeah, it's like. It's really hard for them. Look at this guy right here. Look at that one. Wow, that guy's playing and then he looks totally good. Oh, and here's a black guy right here. Here's a black guy., that guy's clean. This guy right here? And then he looks totally good.

Oh, and here's a black guy right here. Here's a black guy. He didn't even need it though, let's be honest. He was long and thin. He was very thin. Well, I mean, he said his erections were somewhere down in here and he needed to be up here. You gotta have girth to please.

Sure, sure. There's more black guys on there if you keep going. Let me ask you, Christina, is this... How many Russian Jews are in there? How do you feel about this? It's lovely. That's four black guys on there if you keep going. Let me ask you, Christina, is this... How many Russian Jews are in there? How do you feel about this? It's lovely. That's a black guy. Is that what you like?

Yeah. That can be arranged. Let's do it. It's great. It's great. Real quick. Sorry, did you say Russian Jews? I feel like they're pretty.

Whoa. That's a black guy. Yeah. It's so bizarre. That was a correction. Wow. That was trying to correct something that had happened with this guy's circumcision. Just trying to make it a little bit better.

Yeah. He had some adhesions. Poor guy. I got a question for you. Yes. So what's going on with that fucking thing? Well, it's uncircumcised and it's huge now. Now, so what you're looking at at the bottom, where that little tight ring is, that's actually a medical condition called Phymosis. And there's a little muscle that pulls the foreskin forward so that when you're a hunter and a gatherer,

you don't hit twigs, don't hit the... That's what you think. We've learned differently though, remember? What did we learn? When you fight wars, the soldiers used to fight without. Oh, this is somebody else that, yeah, sorry. It's a different guy. I think Bill here knows what he's talking about.

Well, I would say God's plan was for it to be protected. Sure. And so that one is too tight, and so it's actually holding very tight on the ground of his penis. It's not supposed to be quite that tight. Okay, this is one of the main questions that I had. I just love this buffet. So you take, let's say, the main questions that I had. Just love this buffet. You take, let's say, the before measurements.

Yes. How do you know that I'm as small as I can get? Like what if I go in there, or you measure me, and you're like, okay, you're four inches in girth, and I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, let me tell you something, doc. This thing gets a lot smaller right do you ever have it doesn't make a difference doesn't matter It doesn't matter. We're gonna inject you exactly the same okay, so people do come in they have days that they're cold They have days that they're warm they have days that they've had caffeine or

Some of the type of stimulant that may make them have less blood flow in their penis a suit of that You know there's there's things that can happen and they're smaller or larger, but we're going to eject them the same. And their erect change is going to be really the key to know that you got the quarter of an inch growth because when you're erect, you're erect. And so we're going to be adding a quarter of an inch

to the penis, whether it's flaccid or erect. And so they will see the changes every time in their election. Does bonding with your brothers make a difference? So a lot of males are into biohacking, you know, they'll buy all the supplements, very expensive supplements, yet they never have seen their bros naked. They've never worked out naked. They've never played naked ultimate frisbee, they've never done naked wrestling and there's a reason why testosterone and sperm counts are at an all-time low. It's because men are not getting that vitamin that Robert Bly who wrote Way of Iron John said is an invisible food that gets transfused between men through the ethers when they get

naked and do for example ball cupping or ball tapping rituals where you tap your bestest bros balls and look at his beautiful mushroom head and send good energy into it. Is this effective? That is interesting, I've never heard that before. Well, he has like real world examples. Dude, oh my gosh. So in my live workshops,

That's him on the right. We do a beautiful cock exercise. This is actually inspired by a guy named Darius Bashar. Basically. I mean, they're all candidates, right? They're all, everyone's a candidate. He does these workshops called penis wellness. So it's all about your relationship with your cock

and like really learning to love your penis. Because if you love your penis, your self-esteem builds up. I find that so important. Which is kind of what you're talking about. It is, it's very true. It's very true. You've done a trip with a bunch of other guys,

and then, I'm just curious, what's gonna happen? Me too. Does anyone get in a boat? And then, how about we go first? So, look at each other's cocks, and then take a pretty deep breath.

Yeah, you go face to face. I can't wait for you guys to do this. Sometimes. You appreciate in their dicks, because the Chinese medicine, the dick, is the uttermost extension of your heart. Yeah. And then you say, brother, you got a beautiful penis. Brother, you got a beautiful penis. And you hug.

You can convince these guys to do anything. I'm not going to hug you for 30 seconds. Because I really said guys to do anything. New Decks are definitely, yeah. I was in a sherbet and she forgot it. What's another guy doing back there? I think the ringleader's kind of growing here. I think he is. I think he is.

I think this is all a ruse. This is what this guy teaches. He's definitely growing. Yeah, he's totally growing. This is what you do at the seminar, babe. Yeah, this is the stuff I wanted you Me and my bros want to do this hug each other naked post show great set This is what you were doing Vegas after So successful God I So does this work? I have to go try it. I don't know I've been trying it. Yeah

Pretty interesting. I think been trying it. Yeah. Pretty interesting. I think that I can probably guarantee faster results. Yeah, that's for sure. I mean, look, that's for sure. You don't have to convince me, Bill. I mean, the person that's really is going to live with this choice is this one. So you really should be talking to her. Yeah. Have you have that? Yeah.

Have you had children? Yeah, two of them so mine's blasted out. You can tell. Stop! And they're his babies, they're boys, so their heads. So they're big. I was told they're like, oh, you're not going to be able to deliver these vaginally because our first sons, they're like, the head is so big you're narrow there's no way

so I this scheduled me for a c-section but then I went into labor anyway so anyway long story short I pushed it at push both kids out of me so it's a disaster zone down there yeah it's blown out it's so blown out what do you what do you want no you tell me what you want no no it's literally you're the one that gets to choose it's like shopping for an engagement that's what it is it's like well tell me do you want the diamond cut what do you want the one that gets to choose like shopping for an engaged That's what it is. It's like you want the diamond cut? What do you want the princess cut? I mean like what do you babe? Can I ask a question a really regret passing on this decision right now? You're gonna you're trying to be modest you should pick pick one and roll with it. Do you have a dildo? Court how many yeah, okay, your favorite dildo

Could you tell me on here where your favorite dildo is? the size Favorite dildo you said that so sincerely your favorite dildo totally right doc which one's your favorite? Tell me which one's your favorite? I mean I You can't put me on the spot like this being on the spot is gonna help you really gotta think but I like them all They're all delicious. This is diplomatic. Okay, I'll tell you the truth. I've had the liquid death can It's not great honestly

It's not it's too much. It's like giving birth again for me personally But then again, I was in my 20s, so I can't how do I gauge you had this hold this How do my 20s that this yeah not the length but the girth this girth yeah she's telling you and he was short short it was like that it was like that like that one okay like honestly when he gave it to me to hold I was having a flash back gosh I was like I was remembering the summer of 1997, was it? Fingers didn't touch? Yeah.

Wow. Yeah. No, I'm telling you, but we didn't day long because it just wasn't for me. Okay. I mean, I feel like this one's good. This is a good one. That's a pretty common choice.

Yeah, that seems like. That's a pretty common choice. Yeah, because I know it's not gonna like yeah I like that one. All right, Tom and you said that you think that your erection is here. Let me see. Let me see Now it's bigger than that. Okay. Let's go here. Let me switch with you Where am I here? I'm here. You want to try that one? Where am I here? I don't know. Am I here?

You want to try that one? You know, I think full girth is probably there. The larger one. Yeah. Okay. Then we're talking two treatments. Wow. Two to three.

Two to three. We did three treatments. He would be here. I don't think so. That's too much. Too much. Yeah. Okay.

Even though I've had two kids, like I don't want to be stretched out more out more. Well, it would just be temporarily stretched, which puts the nerves on the stretch, which makes you have more sensitivity, of course. So, um, but two treatments for Tom would put him exactly this space. And then, and then we determine how many syringes that we're going to put in you. Look, I'm still trying to come to terms with the fact that my wife's had a liquid death can in her before. I was thinking about how you were gonna handle that a second ago when she told you.

I was just wondering if that was a conversation. She was like, no, yeah, that's it. I was like, wow, Jesus. Yeah, he was a real loser too. They usually are. There's some type of balance of the universe. The blood goes. Yeah, it wasn't the brightest candle. And I didn't like it. I didn't like his dying actually. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it wasn't the brightest candle.

But I didn't like it. I didn't like his dying actually. Yeah, yeah. No, that's a good spin on it. I didn't. And then of course, the number of syringes are determined by the length. So if someone has a much longer penis,

then it takes more dermal filler to get down the length of the shaft. If they have a smaller, shorter penis, it doesn't take as much dermal filler. Wait, can I ask you the dumbest question? When you put in the filler, do you have to like smooth it out? I do. I use my thumb. I use my thumb. We model it and then we use our thumb. Because I know how it goes here. It just goes, would you hear it? There's a process that we teach. I mean, we have a protocol that is step by step for our providers.

And everyone that we have is a urologist, we have one dermatologist and one OBGYN, but it's primarily urologists. I have the top urologists in the country, like they're called KOLs, key opportunity leaders that are the ones who do the best research and are the most published. They have embraced this procedure for the first time because there's never been a procedure that offered safety, efficacy, and symmetry. And that was undetectable. I mean, so it was like the perfect pitch. Yeah. Yeah, we would, we were just featured. They had this North America sexual medicine

society meeting. It was in San Diego. It was all the top sexual medicine doctors in North America come. And one of my providers presented on safety and efficacy. And when they sent out the email that said, thank you all for coming to the conference, they actually put Fatal Phil and a video of her talking at the very top. So they really have embraced it and they have pushed it out to all their urologist. Can I ask you a question? How did it fit in your mouth? Like... I was 23. I don't even remember, babe.

Did you have to unhinge? Yeah, yeah. Wow. I'm telling you, I was such a lose though. What's not going to tell you that you lose it? He's going to have to bang at his parents house and stuff. And I'm so sad. Before you babe.

Thanks. This is a summer boyfriend? Yeah. Wait a minute. Yeah, yeah who he a summer boyfriend? Yeah. Wait a minute. Yeah. Yeah, who it is. Huh? Yeah.

No. I know who it is. Do you know him? I've seen him. Yeah. I've seen him. Yep. Yeah, I've seen him.

One time we were together and we saw him and I saw her go like this. She goes, no. And I was like, what are you doing? I did that like my chat. I was like, let's get out of here immediately. Yeah. Isn't that cool when you could put a dick to the face like that of your wife's sexual history?

I feel like I'm a dick whisperer now. Do you know what I'm talking about? Like I've seen so many like, Yeah, you know what it is. And I can look at hands and nose and I can feel like I can look at skin textures. I can look at features of people nose and I can feel like I can look at skin textures. I can look at features of people and I almost feel like I have an idea of what it's going to look like before they take their pants off.

Oh, well, they say that like Superman. Yeah, which I had that power. The myth is that it's shoe size that it's completely unrelated. I don't think shoe sizes. Yeah, that's completely unrelated, but that like index fingers and it's thick, I've seen thicknesses and I can even look at the size of fingernails I could just there's just there's traits that I have picked I put together that That will let me sort of know in my head what they're gonna be You know, I think most urologists are not looking at that there. It isn't there to treat an STD or a UTI

They're not thinking about trying to see how to make this penis larger. So I think I've put a lot, I've treated a lot of people. Dix for your left. And so I've, yeah. Can I ask you, is there any potentiality for nerve damage? We have never had it reported. So no one has ever reported loss of sensitivity and no one has ever reported erectile dysfunction

at any of our practices, which is really, really amazing because people claim erectile dysfunction because of, you know, sexual performance anxiety. There's all kinds of reasons that people can have erectile dysfunction without actually having damage. So we've never had it reported. This is what you were reading. That one? Yeah. So then we have to go up. Yeah. Okay. We're gonna go up to here? She wants to go up to there. I think that you go up to there. If you've had two big kids, I think that that would be good. Actually, she's right

I really think she has a great size and so that's about three treatments for him That's a level up. Yeah I'm gonna ask you does it make you scared to think about having it done Yeah, because having all the needles put in your penis. It's not what you on New Year's Day It wasn't your resolution and say, hey, this year I'm going to have. I can't do it today, by the way. I have to.

No, no, no, no, I'm just saying. But on New Year's Day, you didn't say. You didn't like to find peace. Yeah. I'm going to have needles put in my peanuts. Yeah. But you numb it, yeah, so that they don't feel it. We use lot of canes.

No, I realize something. I have to top the, that guy. So we have to go up to whatever's one beyond that. I'm going to be flying back and forth from Dallas to Austin. Quite a bit. It looks like. So okay, so it won't hurt is what you're saying because there's light. It feels like a the very first lot of cane injection is with a little tiny instance range. It feels like

a toothpick. Now it makes so much sense. She's always talking about dicks. And like, every time some girl comes over, who's like a tic-tac. Now it makes so much sense. She's always talking about dicks. And like, every time some girl comes over who's like a friend, she's like, I went on a date, she goes, what was that dick like? Do you know why? Because they're so varied. As we saw in that buffet that you showed us, the assortment,

they're so interesting because they don't, there's no two dicks that are the same. There's no two dicks that are alike. And they're fascinating to me because they're external genitalia. It's so weird. It is weird and interesting. It is. Oh, it's so weird.

And that's what they tell you in kindergarten. They go, no two dicks are alike. That's what they teach you. Yeah, yeah, all of you are unique. I've heard a urologist say, you know, they say if you've seen one dick, you've seen them all. No way. No, but that's not true.

He says if you've seen one dick you've seen one dick Yeah, oh, there's never another one like it. No, I'm sure badges are the same way and there's some ugly ones that come through ugly dicks Yeah, there's some ugly ones. There's some system that has bad that kids coloring bad texture Just there's some guys are just we're not blessed with the best genetics when it comes to that. And some guys just come in and everything is just perfect. Perfect. I mean, they want it larger, but the color is perfect

and the shape is perfect. There are some beautiful dicks out there. They really are. I've seen some really nice ones. And it's the same thing with vaginas. True. There are some that look like they're gunshottings. Even before childbirth, before childbirth,

they look like they've been wrecked. Yeah, that's a bummer. And then there's some beautiful ones after childbirth. I mean, I personally like to look at both. Yeah, wow. The good thing is guys don't really care off. I mean, all the guys that I sleep with now, they seem to care before and after.

Guys really don't care what your vag looks like. I gotta tell you. I don't think so. You know, you do go like, oh, that one is whatever and this one is this, but ultimately, you just want to finish inside of it. I know. You don't really care. You don't really care. I know. That's what I'm saying.

Like women who are, I get it, but that's your own personal insecurity. Guys, we really, we're not like, oh yeah, and it looked like no one gives a shit. No, even maybe with boobs, like there are guys that like hungry tits and then guys that like big slops. I've always been with breasts, like I don't, I've been, I've loved small breasts, big, like I don't have, I don't go like,

oh, if it's not like this I can't be happy. It's just doesn't affect me that way, you know But what is is there's got to be something on a female that you said it's not breast It's not the vagina. Are you a butt man? There's I mean there's got to be something butts sure like butts I like her teeth are oh Oh, they have nice teeth. You have beautiful teeth. Thank you. Yeah.

Yeah, my braces and stuff. I wish you'd cut your hair off. Wait, shorter, spikier, darker. Oh, if she had bad feet, I wouldn't have dated her. I think that feet are important too. And feet is another thing that can guide me to what the penis is going to look like. Really? Yeah, people that have nice feet

generally have a nice looking penis from what I've seen before. Wow. We need to do that. Like if you had like hammer toes and stuff. Survey. Yeah. It wouldn't have been a second date.

No, no. I agree, feet are very important. Yeah. Wow. Wait, you can look at a dude's feet and guess the penis. I think just, you can put it all together, all the little attributes. I mean, there's lots of things on the body. I think just, you could put it all together, all the little attributes. I mean, there's lots of things on the body

that I feel that I look at. I mean, there's no science of what I'm telling you. You ever have a big surprise though? Or you think you're gonna see something? Oh, of course. I mean, of course I'm not accurate all the time. I mean, sometimes I'll have a guy that comes in that's skinny and little my hands

and he pulls it down and I'm like, holy shit. It's long, maybe not garthy, but yeah, surprises me. So you've had the, this is my first time I'm coming in for an assessment and you're like, dude, this is a like a really full, you don't need anything. Yeah, of course I have. And you tell those guys like, what are you doing? And I, well, they say I would like to have a bigger penis. Jesus.

Wow, greedy. What are you doing? And I, well, they say I would like to have a bigger penis. Jesus Christ. Wow, greedy. And so, if somebody comes in with a large penis and I find that there's a problem and there's body dysmorphia and I think that they're never going to be happy with no matter what I do to them because there's dysmorphia, we don't treat those people. We just tell them that you're not a great candidate for the procedure and we're not going to be able to do a treatment. Do you need an assistant in your Dallas facility?

I used to have an assistant that would hand me syringes and would do everything for me. And during, during COVID, he, he refused the vaccine. And so we, I lost him because of that because it was required in Texas. And, um, and so I haven't had one since and I'm not gonna hire another one because I just grabbed this I just grab everything myself off the table You know what this would be great for because it's always been such a bummer when like people like trans people when they transition to male They don't often give them good units. Oh, I want to get into that so bad What I've been doing I've been I've been going going on Reddit and there's there's some rooms that are

female to male trans and they've been taking hormones and I think that they also use some suction devices and so forth for the clitoris and there's some they get some really nice growth and I almost develop a glands or a head on the clitoris when they've been taking hormones long enough. And I really want to find some female to male trans men to try and do my procedure on. So if I can make their clitoris which is now looking like a penis larger, I think I can. That'd be awesome. Because it's the same structure.

It just changed when we were in their mother's womb, but it started off to be the same structure. Yeah, we're all the same meat, just different formations. Was he a good lover? No. No, no, no. No, no, tell us the truth. No, no.

How hard did you, how hard did you do? No, babe, stop hard did you do? No, babe! Stop. Was it better? Is it better? We can keep going. I am kinda curious. I guess she's not like she's playing cool. No, I'll tell you what.

Honestly, and okay, if I have to go back in my Rolodex, not top three. Just hold on. What? Honestly, and I mean it, not my favorite. Why? I just, not for me. It wasn't for me. It's not better orgasms?

No. What do you want from me? You want the truth. This is the truth. It wasn't my favorites. No, not in top three. Not... Oh, I'm gonna puke, stop. You're making everybody uncomfortable. No, I'm not.

Yes. I'm curious how long it was. But literally like that, literally. So it was short and thick. Short and thick, yeah. And you came so fucking home. Stop it, I'm gonna puke. Why?

You're blushing because it's true. Oh my God, fucking. Stop it. I'm gonna puke. Why? You're blushing because it's true. Oh my God. Stop. I hate this. So you don't think that if we kept going, it would be. Oh my God. Be bet like the flash. The best sex you've ever had. Flashback. Yeah.

Stop. Babe, you're asking me if something that happened like over 20 years. Oh, you remember. Don't give me this this 20 years ago thing. Not that, you're asking me if something that happened like over 20 years ago. Oh, you remember. Don't give me this 20 years ago thing. Not that, you know, details. I vaguely remember. You don't remember if it was great sex?

I was like, no, it wasn't. It was not. It was not. Bill, what do you think? I want to know if it was pretty. Was it a handsome dick? Sure. It had nice color and nice.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He maybe could have been a prostitute. Maybe. He missed his calling. Maybe. Yeah, it's just not for me. Not for her.

So what else do you want to know about Garth? So is this guy a candidate 20 days 20 days he's having erection it cannot be suffering ok why why the man is like that why the man is like that he's really had an erection for 20 days he's having an exorcism done we worship you we give you glory I think maybe a doctor would be

who we should seek out God gives you erections peace demons give him direction. But God will lower your. Oh, a somersault. To be fair, one day at lunch, I saw any do the same thing. And I was hard to. I was like this And I was hard to

Do you see the weeks What's the mode now? Yeah, the suffering like this is No way because of it doc. He seems like he's got pretty good. That's a pretty big. That's a pretty big doc They're big dick. Yeah, I'm pretty big dick Christina, where's this one? It's got a big land on it. She was gonna be it's got a big head. Yeah. Oh You can see that through the end. I mean, I tell yeah, big lan on it, it's got a big head. Oh, you can see that through the end games. Yeah, I mean, that's what you can tell.

We're talking to an expert here. And I thought I was an expert. Yeah, you're definitely... Hey, you ever go to NBA games? Not often. You should come with us and just look at the dicks through the shorts and tell me what you see. It never sounds...

That one's so fun, because I do like to imagine, like, what am I dealing with and those... That sounds like fun. Yeah. Let's see if he has the biggest. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Start. Pardon me. That's the only one. I'm going to ask you, I don't know that interaction. Out of now, it's coming back for testimony. I pray you seem to have been with the money. Well. All right.

Doc. What happened to his reaction? Oh, shoot. Oh, the water. The to put on the water water Water helps too. Wow. So you're in Dallas. I Come down for my first treatment First treat how long does it last the procedure? Um, I book people even when they're new for one hour

Okay, but if they're a repeat client, I can probably get them in and out in 30 minutes. It doesn't take me very long. I'm pretty fast with it. And one treatment will get me up a level? Each treatment will move you one size up. Yeah, wow. But it's in and out pretty fast. And how long do you recommend between,

like if I go up one and I go, I want to go up another one? Three weeks. Three weeks. Okay. Yeah. And you're going to have to avoid sex for ten days Because we don't want the filler to migrate. Okay. I Patented a postcare sleeve. This is the first time that anyone has ever seen this in public on your show because I'm far enough into the patent process

That it really can't be replicated now and this is our secret sauce. We put this on the penis We have 10 different sizes The gland is captured by that little ring and it keeps the penis extended or elongated and compressed And so they wear that for three weeks under their clothes. It makes your dick look bigger people that have it on They're like this is like a push-up bra for my dick You put it on your penis looks bigger in your pants. And it holds the filler in place. It holds the filler in place. And we're the only ones that have that.

Everyone else uses an ace bandage or that co-band that they put on you when you have your blood drawn, that sticky fabric tape. So we have this, this sets us apart. No one else has this post care garment besides us. And literally, this is the first type I've shown it. Our patients, of course, have been wearing it for literary this is the first type I've shown it our patients Of course have been wearing it for almost two years now

But I've asked him to keep it off blogs and not post pictures of it because we were in the Pat process You know I was nice to that as a woman you can look at this thing and you could probably put a face to every size Because I've had the full gamut literally Literally, I've had your first guy. Did you really? I have. And I've had the last guy. And then I've had in betweeners. That's fucking crazy, by the way.

That you've had the Coke. But that's what I'm so fascinated by then, because I've had, like I said, like a guy that you wouldn't imagine has the one. And then another guy, you're like, that guy looks normal and then he's that. I think I know who this guy is too. I think I know a this guy is too.

I think I know a few of her. Tell me about the other for like 20 years. So he's heard all my stories. Was it really erect like this? It was erect maybe a little more but you know again I don't have exact dick memories. I don't really know. Yes between one and two and that. Wow.

Yeah it was sad kind of you know. I've seen it. Yeah. Of course I've seen it. So like if you could help It was sad kind of you know. I've seen it. Yeah. Of course I've seen it. So like if you could help that guy that would be you know. You can give him the information. No. I don't talk to the I don't talk to the ghosts of Christmas pasts. I'll talk to him. Yeah. It's a full gamut I'll tell you. Yeah and then you're like, oh, and that was Oxford and that was... That was San Francisco, that was San Francisco over there. Oh, San Angeles summertime. Mm-hmm, some barista.

I've got a tape measure here if you need a measure. I'm gonna leave it for you. Doing girth or racy? Yeah, you can do the length and then you can do the girth. Okay, look, we have to wrap up, but I wanted to say this. I think this is a very cool option for men. Very cool. And they can go to fallofill.com.

That's right. And you have locations all over the country. Oh, great. From the Northeast down to Southern California, down to Miami. We're struggling to find providers, good providers up in the Northwest. Oh, we've got some that we're struggling to find providers, good providers up in the Northwest. We've got some that we're talking to,

but we're pretty well covered up by Chicago and Detroit and Indianapolis and... How do you, is this the correct way to do this? You'd go like this? Yes, that is the garth. So that garth, if you're measuring it, it should come out to be five and a half inches. You're measuring centimeters.

You got it on the centimeter side. I'm serious about filler in my, my labes. I mean, cause it does get wrinklier over time just to give it a little pep. You know what you might try. There's a procedure that exosomes stem cells and stem cells release exosomes which cause rejuvenation. That can be injected into any tissue

and make it rejuvenate. So if you think that there's a problem where it's aged and you think that you're trying to reverse, the first thing that I would do is I would try to have someone inject exosomes into it to try and rejuvenate. That's a whole other topic, but it's a great procedure.

I wish you had a table of kuchis out here and I would be like I can run through all of these. I know that's why I want them to do vags now. It'll be fun. Can we find a veg, a veg rejuvenator and we'll have her come or him come? That'll be fun. All right. Well, this is awesome.

Thank you, Bill. Thank you for having me. Thank you so much. This is awesome. You guys are supposed to do it at fellowfill.com. Get your dicks bigger. Thank you for having me. Thank you so much. It's been much fun. You guys are supposed to do it, fallofill.com, get your text bigger. Thank you. And we are back and our guest has a new special dropping tomorrow on Max, religion, sex,

and a few things in between. Everybody, it's Rory Scovel. Let him hear it. Thank you. Thank you. It's so nice to hear. It's good to see you. I appreciate that.

Did I say that right? Is it Scovel? Scovel. Scovel? Yeah. Should I put these on? Scovel. Yeah, better. You guys have cooler, more... Yeah. I feel like a pilot. You kind of look like a pilot. Yeah, that looks good.

That's a good look for me. I like it. Giant headphones. Congratulations on the special. Thanks. Where'd you shoot it? We did it in Minneapolis at a place called the Goodale Theater. Oh, Minneapolis is a great comedy town. Yeah. When we did the tour, we didn't book Minneapolis because I just had it in the back of my head like that might be the spot to shoot the special. You got to do it once a tour.

You got to leave one at least, one of the good ones. Yeah, yeah. But it's hard to know. It's hard to know what that city should be, but Minneapolis is a good one. Yeah. Did you, like you did one of the most amazing, we almost were able to podcast at the time because I was like, this to me,

nothing gives me more anxiety than what you did, which is why I was like, well, we have to celebrate it. Which is that the last thing you did, which was where you go, I'm just gonna go on tour and every night I'll just come up with something new. Oh, in Atlanta, the docu special. Yeah, dude. That was fun. That wasn't meant to be a documentary. I just wanted up with something new. Oh the in Atlanta the the docu special. Yeah, dude That was fun

That wasn't meant to be a documentary that I just wanted to like try that and I was like, oh, let's do it The whole week let's do six nights in a row and we'll charge like $5 because it could be just shit Yeah, I kind of thought that's I was like, oh, I'll probably bomb But people will walk away be like, oh give the shoes five bucks so people can get the benefit of the doubt. And someone was, I told Jay Larson about it, and he was like, you gotta shoot that, that should be a documentary.

And so then we just put, Abso gave us some money and we went and shot it. But how do you deal, because like every comedian fears bombing. So how do, how come you don't fear it as much? Like even doing that? I think I do. I think I do. I think we, I mean, I, I think everybody does. And I think that nervous energy suddenly just drives what you show. But the both, the both of you could do also do it. You just,

you just haven't gone out and just said, all right, I'm just going to go talk for an hour. And you would surprise yourself 10 minutes in where you're like, oh, I actually think I could just keep talking. I don't know. And you realize you're just being entertaining. Yeah, I think I could do it for a little bit because I've done that. I have shown up and been like, all right.

Sure. And signed up for the no material, whatever kind of stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But the fact that you were doing full sets, like doing it that way, I'm like, this is insane. Well, by the third night is when I was like getting like the most like my brain was like, like, think of something that feels like a secret.

You don't want to tell anybody. Yeah. And then quickly I was realizing, oh, this is actually the most interesting thing. And I also started to realize, oh, instead of the audience either laughing or not laughing, I saw them just get engaged by me just saying something like vulnerable. Like I remember at one point, I just my brain was like, just tell them you've seen gay porn. And so I just said that.

Yeah. And I can see the audience being like, all right, go on. And I was like, Oh, yeah. All right, I'll just talk about this. Yeah. And like, I didn't have a joke. I just kind of talked about it. That's what I was going to say.

So did it did sometimes it stay in, this isn't really funny in this moment. This is just revealing. I think, I think, yeah. You know what I mean? And you just are like, almost like you're doing therapy in a way, but like, Yes.

And then you'll find a joke later on. Yes. Okay. And that's why I think we could all do, I think more comedians can do it than think because once you just start talking about a topic, you know if you just keep going, there's gonna be some kind of dots to connect.

And you go, oh, that's funny. That's where the laugh is. You know what's so interesting? Cause I was watching a bunch of like newer comedians at mothership a week ago and I was like, okay, they're all skilled comedians. But what's interesting to watch is someone that's honest and vulnerable, at least for me.

I wanna see the guy who's like, I watch gay porn. You're like, yeah. Yeah. I may have masturbated. You're intrigued. Yeah. And then you're like, yeah. You know, like, it's really, it's the content, not so much the form that makes,

because everyone can be proficient at some point at a skill set. Well, I think we can all, at least that doing that documentary was like eye opening for me to be like, oh, and this constant search of like, oh, I think we can all, at least that, doing that documentary was like eye-opening for me to be like, oh, and this constant search of like, oh, I need material. I think I always saw it like, oh, I need 60 minutes of material. But like, there's nothing really in that. This docu special made me really step back and be like,

oh, actually what do I wanna say for 60 minutes and live or die by it? Maybe it's funny, maybe it's not. And it kind of shifted my brain. This special is actually, most of the sex jokes were born out of that week in Atlanta. And my goal with it was like, oh, we shot this documentary,

so I'll have the birth of the joke. And then when I finally shoot the special to be the death of it, I'm not gonna do it again. And so this is kind of what that is. That's like my favorite show here in town is called Bottom of the Barrel, where they have a literal little barrel on stage and it has just written suggestions from the audience.

So you pull it out and if you don't wanna do it, you drop it, but if you read it, you just say the thing and then you just see where it goes because you get bits out of random suggestions. But if you read it, you just say the thing and then you just see where it goes because you get bits out of random suggestions. If you're willing to just kind of talk, you have to talk, talk, talk. The way it goes wrong, I think, is if you just go like, you look at it and it's just silly joke, silly joke.

Like you have to actually talk. You have to be willing to kind of make it. You have to be willing to be uninteresting to perhaps pay off from being funny. That's the secret. You gotta go to the peaks and the valleys. I think so, and I think when you're in those valleys, you don't panic. You stay in it.

And the thing I kept trying to remind myself with these shows, and I still try to do it, is like, the material is one thing, but can I just be fun? Like when I get out there, can people be like, oh, this, this is, this is attractive. This is like, I'm compelled to want to hear this person talk. I think we see it in acting all the time. There's like, just some actors are like, yeah, even they're just like standing there. You're like, yeah, I'll watch. I'll

see what you're doing. And it's like, I think we have that too. I mean, really, if you think about what we do, it's kind of bizarre that it's even a thing that people show up to hear our speeches for an hour. And also for them to think that our perspective on stuff is so important or interesting, like it's kind of like we are, you have to be a little full of yourself.

You have to think, oh, what I have to say is valid. I'm worth listening to. Yes, exactly. But also to that point, yes, what the con, like what you have to say. But then also, like, when I ever, I watch like Ron White, it's like, you want to hang out with that person. Yeah. You want to hang out with Uncle Ron White.

Yeah. And I think too, when people buy your merch or something, they want a piece of your soul. Like you are selling your soul, your essence, your being when you're a performer and entertainer. Well, nowadays, I mean, you guys know it, like nowadays it's like you give everything. It's no longer like, oh, you're just on the stage. It's like, we're in this world of like the social media,

the podcast. No, but you know the funny thing is are the comedians are the comedians who are like, ah, like, and I knew them all. We knew them all coming up who are like, I'm just gonna, I'm not gonna do all that other stuff. I'm just gonna do my spots. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. And then what happens to all ever 100% of them is after a certain amount of time, they're like, Hey, how do I do this? And how do I do that and how do I do that?

Yeah, okay. Yeah, I'm guilty of it in my own way Everybody you try to steer your own ship and you go I'm gonna do a little bit differently like you're saying But yeah, it is interesting that at least in the world of social media You've had to kind of come to terms of the fact that this is how audiences Find you or even decide that they want to buy a ticket to see more of it. It's just reality. It's just reality.

It's just what it is, man. This is what it is. This is how this is done now. You are a comedian, guess what? You gotta have a place, like a website that people can go to to watch things and buy tickets, have links, and you gotta put, you have to be present

more than just on stage. Yeah. Isn't that crazy? It's such a different industry. Yeah, it is. It's totally cute. When we started, we were all trying to get our VHS tapes as a male to male to a club to host. We were just talking about, do you remember Dublin's? Yes. Right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was just telling so I remember J Davis ran that. Yeah. Yeah. And I remember walking in there and handing him a VHS tape and him being like, yeah, thank you. Yeah. Like, yeah. Being like, can I get on this show?

Yeah. Yeah. And that was just the way of it. And then the big shift was like, oh, DVDs. Yeah. And I had to learn how to burn a DVD. Then it was like, no, you got to have a thing on YouTube. Yeah. Now you're doing YouTube. Now you have to learn how to burn a DVD. Then it was like, no, you gotta have a thing on YouTube. Yeah. Now you're doing YouTube.

My space videos. Yeah, or MySpace video. And also then it shifted into, well, how many followers do you have? Oh, yeah. Because that creates the value. And I think that's where suddenly things changed. You can now have this perceived value

based on how many people find you interesting. And that is a good metric. But I think sometimes when you step back and go, oh, you can buy. Yeah, you can buy these. You can buy those followers to like have it. Also, if you can like rig it a little bit. So crazy. You know, it's not completely an even exchange. Like, I know, I don't want to like say the people, but it's like, I know somebody who's want to like say the people but it's like I know somebody who

whose social media following is impressive by most people's measure but it's not the biggest and they have massive ticket sales yes you know I mean so it's not like yeah the same yeah but I think that now when you start when we had to learn how to like make a VHS tape and just go to the mailbox. Yeah, yeah. Now it's like, no, you need to know what time to upload to TikTok and how to title it and how to like, and I mean from perspective of if you're not the position to pay someone to do that for you. Yeah. If you're just starting, someone be like, hey, it's hard enough just to figure out how to go on stage

and be vulnerable and be honest and find that material. It's like, well, while you're not doing that, you need to be offstage, making sure you know how to work your cell phone to really upload Insta at the right time. So much. Well, you have to be business-minded now. There's no way around it. Yes. But you always should have been. I think even 20 years ago, we should have been more business minded. I know. I think that's going back. I think that was my, I'm going to go my own way. I'm an artist.

And you can always catch up. I think people will find, you know, in a position like, I can't sit here and be like, I should have made these other choices. Like, I do have a special coming out, so I'm doing fine. People will see a thing. But it does make you wonder, like, what do have a special coming out, so I'm doing fine. People will see a thing. But it does make you wonder like, what you can be doing and then how to do those things. I also, I mean, I don't know.

I also remember things like, I remember being in Indianapolis and this guy was like, can I get a guest spot? And I just met him and I told the owner, I was like, can he get a guest spot? And they were like, are you endorsing him? And I was like, can he get a guest spot? And they were like, are you endorsing him? And I was like, yeah. And then he went up there and he absolutely just bombed.

You don't say. Horrific. And then the owner was like, I thought you said that this was gonna be good. Then you're doubling down. And I- He's my favorite comedian. I go, I don't know.

So I go to him, I go, what the fuck man? He goes, yeah. Just fucking up. I'm gonna do different stuff if I can get one more guest. No. And you keep falling. Yeah, and I was like. Was this like a five show weekend?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was like, all right. So I was like, just let him do one more spot. Yeah. And he was like, I'm gonna do something like, totally, I'll do this, like my killer stuff now. I go, okay. And he went up there and he did verbatim the same set.

And I was like, yeah, I don't know. And the funny thing is, the other point of this guy is that I remember he showed me his website and it was fucking amazing. It looked like, like fucking like Ford's website. You know what I mean? It was like, things were moving. There was, when something's in motion, you're like, whoa.

And this is, this is like, this is like a while ago. You know, this is like many years ago. When like a video on a website was like, my boy. Big deal. Oh, and then like that comic would have testimonials of other comedians saying how funny they are. This guy's lightning in a bottle. I definitely asked somebody for one of those.

The next so and so? Yeah. The next so and so. And you're like, damn, I gotta make a website like this. Yeah, exactly. That's what I thought. That's what I thought leaving there. I was like, that guy sucks, but his website's the shit.

I wonder what it is like for like we have our perspective of, you know, this and how we find, you know, if someone's new and like really great, like our way of finding them is either, you know, maybe you scroll or, but usually someone tell you. Yeah. I wonder what it is like for an audience now. Maybe they don't know the what the business side of what we have to do now. Yeah. On top of try to make art, like literally try to make a thing Maybe they don't know the business side of what we have to do now.

On top of try to make art, like literally try to make a thing to watch that's interesting for 60 minutes. I wonder how they, like their perspective is of finding comedians. I mean, judging by my friends that aren't in show business sometimes, I'm mortified. You know, when they say like, this is hilarious. And you're like, it's Ted Lasso. You're like, go fuck your mother. This is terrible.

Don't send me anything you think is funny ever. It is actually just hard. Never talk to me. If your circle of friends is comedian, first of all, it's not saying that like you're, you know, it's impossible to talk. It's just that comedians, you know, it's obvious, right? You work in comedy.

You write comedy, you perform comedy. So when you hang out with them, your gauge for like, oh shit, that's really funny. It is gonna be different. You're kind of more in tune to things. And usually when you're like, oh my God, it's a different thing when my friends who don't do stand up fucking send me clips of shit, I'm always like, I always go, ha ha.

I'm like, very funny. I know, because you don't wanna get involved. I know. You don't wanna be like, well, here's what I really think. Yeah, no. And also, I feel- Let's just stay out of it. So I send them the most, for me,

I'm like, I'm thank God they can't hear the tone, but I'll just write like, that is funny. Or like, such a good find. You should be an agent. Yeah, wow. Wow, clever. Clever, you have a very good sense of humor. Because comedians don't send each other

traditionally funny things, I don't think. That's true. We send each other dark, awful, and then you're like, that's fucking amazing. It's dark, awful, or like think that's true. We send each other dark awful and then you're like that's fucking it's dark awful or like That's one because my Sometimes I think my wife hates memes and I try to tell her like a meme Really is kind of the ultimate in Con like I'm not gonna send someone probably a stand-up clip

No, but a meme that gets me to laugh, I'll send to someone, I'll go, this person who made this doesn't even, they probably don't even know they could probably write comedy. To spot a still frame and figure out what is the joke that goes with it. Yeah, it's so good. It's so funny.

But also that's what you would share. You would go, here, I think this is funny, but to your point too, it's like, when they get it from us, it's usually always dark and you're like, I need it now. I need it to be this dark now. Right, it's like pornography. They've worn myself down.

We've seen it all. Like send me someone pissing on their sister and taking a shit. I need a different angle. We're so hard. I'm burnout. Yeah, exactly. Porn is actually a great analogy for it because you know What do you think the porn people send each other? They're like hey check this out her tits are up You know I mean yeah, she took her top off. Wow

That's even great too. Are they sending each other porn clip? Okay? I'm sure look at the new kid I'm sure they have to send each other shit that makes them laugh, I bet. It's just the like, oh my God, look the way he held up her leg, you know. That technicality is such a rookie. Wrong angle. You can't even see anything. The camera's blocked. Yeah, that's the kind of stuff. I will say the one thing that traditionally made me laugh when we were on that plane ride a few days ago,

and with some guy in Central Park in New York City, and he's laying on a wall, and he just puts his leg up and he goes, hey ladies, welcome to the barbecue. And then he farts. And he just got people's reaction. That's probably the most traditional thing I've laughed at in years. What's great too is that he does that, and then the camera stays on, it's set up. The camera stays on the girls who walk by, then they're like... Or like the one girl would be like laughing.

And that shit, because it's like, it's real human interactions and behavior. It's so genuine, you know? It is a storytelling of how you respond to that. Yeah. Whereas someone's like, I'll fight you. Right? Jesus. Damn.

Yeah, dude. If you're fighting farts, I know, it's so insane. You farted from a distance? Yeah. I remember one time I went into, I wish I saw that again. When we used to go into like music stores to buy CDs, and they'd have listening stations.

Right, yeah, yeah. And the guy, it was a big guy, like a real big dude. And he had the cans on like you. And he was listening and he was like, and you know and we like we we ducked behind the other CD rack because we were laughing so hard because I don't think he knew that he part of it didn't perceive yeah he just kept singing it as he's singing it was pretty great that was pretty great that's a golden moment yeah yeah this is a golden moment. Yeah. Yeah. This is a golden moment here My genuine reaction to seeing a flight deck with three female pilots for the first time They're laughing. I

Can't tell if they're happy about it or actually I mean they made a video where they laughing goofing on it look like they were like how are we gonna fucking make it? You know I like thanks Delta. Thanks Delta. Thanks. I don't know Delta set it up. They're like we want to give you this Yeah, yeah, personal can you look at their like go back like they were in great seats. Yeah, they But I can't tell it's almost almost like, I mean, is she, oh, she's emotional. Oh, okay. Like she's doing great too.

Okay, she's doing great. She's in business class. At first glance, I thought she was like, ah, there's three chicks flying this thing. But she's actually moved by it. Yeah, I can't tell you as a female how indifferent I am to the gender of my pilot. Yeah. I am so indifferent.

I always ask to see the certification. You're more particular. But that one on the left. Let me see your license. She's very... That's valid. You get it. Your life is in their hands.

Are you for real? Are you for real, pilot? I always ask them that. The one on the left from? Very handsome. Huh? She's very handsome. Yeah, there's you know, they're all they're all you know What is the pilot the pilot that sits in the backseat? Yeah, what's their story? Like if you show me it was a war plane. I'd be oh, yeah, they're like the gunner. Yeah But like on just a flight like this. What are they up to? You know what might be happening here? And I don't know if I'm correct, but because of those business lay flats, this could be like a long-haul flight

Yeah, you have a rotating because if it's like a 16 hour flight Yeah, you're right. Yeah, it's a longie. A longie. And they're like, hey, you're on your period. I know you're gonna get emotional. I'll come in and fly when you throw a tantrum You know because your fucking nails aren't painted or whatever you guys do. You know, they should put a shitter in there though

because I hate when they block off the shitter. It's just any cliche female moment. I know your nails aren't painted. Yeah. That's what, that's the discussion they're having. That's what they're having, yeah. As a pilot. I know you hate to fly when you don't shave your legs.

I know the public can't even see us because we're in behind this armored door. Draw all emotional, cause your tits are leaking or whatever. Jesus, tits are leaking. Women are different, I don't know. Different. Different, different. I'm thrilled, she's so happy about it.

Okay. Okay. I volunteered in my daughter's school. I volunteered in my daughter's school with fear of bubbles. And there's a kid in there that likes to wash his hands a lot. And he just washes his hands. He did it like five times that we were in there.

And he left suds everywhere. And then he started washing his hands. He did it like five times that we were in there. And he left suds everywhere. And then he started shaking his hands. He got suds all over me. He got so suds all over me. All over my Dutch brothers coffee. I didn't get to drink. I mean first of all I just wonder how you... You paused that right? That can't be the complete video. I guess it's drink. I mean, first of all, I just wonder how you... You pause that, right? That can't be the complete video. No, I pause the video. She's like, I got it.

Yeah. Yeah. So, but she's a fear of bubbles, but she's a mom. Like... A fear of bubbles? That's what she's saying. Every day. I have a fear of bubbles.

She's in the classroom, the kid washes his hands five times. Why is she volunteering? You can't volunteer. But also how did... You're a parent. in the classroom, the kid washes his hands five times, his suds everywhere. Why is she volunteering? You can't volunteer? You're a parent, imagine having, not dealing with bubbles any time in the last few years. How? It's the main focus now.

It's one of the main goals. Two to six, two to six, it's like, it's life. Bubble cities. Bubble, that's cocaine. What is she doing? Oh, wow. It makes's cocaine. What is it? And it's a nauseous Why if you are literally about to puke How do you not like I maybe I'll make a video later?

You know what I do I need to make this video the moment I get in the car I know or can I recap will I remember if I just recap in an hour? I know. The urgency. I think it's because it's so... She has to catch for the moment. It's really... She just got in the car.

I think what we're not... She's not saying and what we didn't get to see is that little kid who is washing his hand covered in shit. Covered in shit. Head to toe. Only his hands were clean. Yeah.

And so even still when he touches your coffee, you're like, you are coming at your shit though. There's shit bubbles that she's actually afraid of. But might I add, so I don't like vomiting, but when I see it, it doesn't make me vomit. Like, isn't that, I don't know, I'm just asking for phobia, wouldn't she be terrified, not nauseous?

I mean, she's having some type of real, distrustful reaction here. That's insane. She's having some type of real distrustful reaction here. That's insane. She does feel like some face bookers. Wash his hands, clean the book, and then eat. And I threw up in my bath in the classroom and she said, stop, mom, that's so embarrassing.

And I was like, how do you think I feel? How do you think I feel? I just washed my hair. I have to go wash it again because he had soap sets. How does she wash her hair? Just washing your hair is soap sets. Yeah. That's what soap suds. How does she wash her hair? Just washing your hair is soap suds. Yeah. That's what I'm saying.

How do you avoid soap suds? Maybe she like just, you know, closes her eyes and like quickly, I don't know dude, it must be a big thing. It's a fear I've never... When the kid was like, hey mom, can you not react that way? It's embarrassing. Was the mom like, wait till I get in the car and feel the need to broadcast it?

Share all the emotions. That's a big thing too is that. Why do we all assume we have an audience? I don't know. Why do we assume that? Like nothing against this person, but you know, you get in the car and you're like, guys, listen up.

And you're just like, who are those people? Have you seen the broadcasting, the tears? Like when somebody is like going through an emotional moment and then they hit record then and then they upload. They have like tears coming out. It's so embarrassing. I always think like the, I think maybe we think about this because we think about production.

Yeah. But you are like, so you started it to have your thing and then turned it off. I don't know. My favorite though is the. But she's a great person. I don't want to. She's fine.

My favorite though is like the famous husband and then not famous wife. And then she feels like she needs to have a voice too. Social media. And it's literally like, hey guys, I'm making broccoli. Who doesn't love broccoli? Comment below and you're like, why? You don't need a platform.

Always comment below. You've gotta get the engagement. There you go. Without the engagement, you'll never get booked at the ha ha shack. Ha ha ha ha ha. But like why, yeah, why broadcast? Actually, I think about this might be her tape

to try to get put. And now you're ruining your opportunities, Rory. The weird thing is when they go comment below and the thing they're asking is so uninteresting. I know. You know, like, I'm making broccoli. What's your favorite vegetable? Yeah. No one, who gives a fuck with someone's favorite vegetable?

It's a desperation to get the... It's like you're so desperate. No one who gives a fuck with someone's favorite. Yeah, it's a desperation Like one celebrity I won't say who was like you're watching the Super Bowl who cannot do this do whatever you want Do it do it like which team do you want to win? Really are you gonna read all like like one for 49ers check? I'm so happy. I kept up with the list and then you comment at the end looks like you guys are split on this Like yeah, there's two fucking teams. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, literally Can't tell who would you want to win more? Thank you. Was that fun? I was following on social media What's that going to Vegas and doing the whole thing? Okay? Was it? Yeah to win more. Thank you. Was that fun? I was following on social media.

What's that? Going to Vegas and doing the whole thing. Okay. Was it? Yeah. Well, that's what I wonder your vibe, because I know you and Bert are in different places in terms of let's go get smashed. I'll say this. I think I it's definitely not my wheelhouse to be like, let's go to a bunch of events and wave and shake a lot

of hands and blah, blah, blah. I'm more in that world. I think I did the best that I could and I think I made the most fun by far was that show. The show at the end was absolutely fucking bonkers and the energy was, I mean, I'm not kidding you, it was insanity. It was really crazy and every, all the guests were surprise not kidding you, it was insanity. It was really crazy. And every, all the guests were surprise guests.

So like, driver at walls, coming was a surprise. Bobby Lee coming up was a surprise. Shane Gill's coming. So every time somebody get announced, they would just go absolutely crazy. And then when we came on stage, it was just, it was pandemonium and they, you know, so everything culminated in that show, which was really fun.

You know, I don't think I need to do 10 events every time I go to Vegas. But I mean, I tried to have fun with it. Yeah. What was the reaction when you let the guest guy go back up all these years later? Did you let him come to the show? Which guy? I met this guy in Indianapolis. Oh. Oh, he's there. He's there. You know, he's gotten way better. years later did you let him come to the same set better time yeah what does the

wild naked man drink I'm gonna fill this beautiful mason jar with my beautiful Oren, which is medicinal. Is that true? Is that medicinal? Amazing working out or going for a run or pumping some iron. I don't believe it. It's a form of biofeedback and it's a form of self-love. Your stream is too powerful. It's a powerful stream. I get this enhanced benefit of self-approval and self-acceptance. And really that's all. Oh, I believe that.

There is to life. That's a very convincing trickle sound. I actually do feel like you would be amazing at playing this guy. Yes. Because... I'm in. Let me just say, shout out. We set this off camera.

The show physical with Roseburn is my absolute favorite. And you play kind of a douchey, adjacent character. I pitched every season, please let my character drink his own piss. And they were like, we just can't. You really did? It makes no sense. You should. You really should.

So no wonder the yogis have been doing it for over 5,000 years. Everything that's bad for us, like injecting heavy metals and aborted fetal cells right into your body, is made to seem good and everything that's good for us, like drinking your piss, is made to seem bad. We live in an inverted clown world. So try it for yourself. I mean, that's a great, special title.

Inverted clown world? Get the fuck out. That is an amazing title for a special inverted clown world. to be a longer- Great special title. Inverted Clown World? Yeah. Get the fuck out. That is an amazing title for a special Inverted Clown World. That is. God, I love that. That's really good. That's really good.

That's a great title. He does a lot of cool things. I get, but also, you're an, and I don't know anything, but it is the body getting rid of waste that it doesn't need, right? Yes. I mean, I don't know. Sometimes there's a little bit of... That's what I thought.

That's what mainstream media will tell you, Rory. That it's your body getting rid of waste. Where's the one where he drinks and then he's like, oh, that one I don't see in here. I've never seen... That's why the yogis have been doing it for five... He's a 5,000 years. I think so. Which ones? I don't know., did he say 5,000 years? I think so. Which ones?

I don't know. I mean, really 5,000 years. Well, you know, also like the Samurai. How could you know that? And the Celtic warriors, you know, they would cup each other's balls and sniff each other's tains before they went into battle. Is that real?

He said it. Well, oh, okay. I didn't know it came from this source. They would fight with their genitals out, not armored to show... Which seems counterintuitive and something that a liar might say. But it's the truth. But it's Balzy, and that joke is sitting there the whole time. They're just sitting there.

I know it never wants it. That's like taking the last piece of shitty pizza that's been there way too long. And it's Balzy. Yeah. Right? His beard is really thick. He's beautiful. Is it real?

I find it so cute and funny and kind of annoying that so many modern menswear leaders base their branding off of like Spartan culture and they call it the modern warrior journal or you know we're the samurai brotherhood you know yet they never get naked they never do ball cupping rituals they never see each other's cocks the outermost extension of each other's hearts are completely hidden by their lulu lemon polyester underwear that's leaching feminizing chemicals right into their ball sacks. When really they could be leaching good high vibrational brotherhood vibrations into each other's ball sacks through cupping, which is exactly what the Spartans did. You know if you claim to be Spartans.

Can I just say that I have pitched this to my wife so many times. Too many times. And I go, no, I don't want you to do it for those reasons. You're the one who's being too sexual. Hmm. I want you to do it to prepare me for battle. Well, that's such a good point. Like, I'm not, babe, this isn't about sex. This isn't about sexual contact.

This is about- Being a man. What if I have to fight today? Yeah. And what, do you want me to lose? Yeah, do you want me to lose the fight? Yeah, by the way, like- What if, here's who I want to comment first.

Somebody goes, I cup every day and I also wear Lululemon. Wow. Why did you, why bring that to my doorstep what's your answer you're gonna get a percentage of I drink my own piss don't think we're not out here we are we're out here dude it's like the samurai we're sniffing each other's balls. The Spartans were cuddling and sucking each other's nipples before battle on animal skins. You see if Jordan will do that right before battle. Well here's the thing. It's gotta be a guy sorry. History is only passed

down by the winners. True. I have not heard this version. Yet. Yet. This is literally the first time ever. Yeah. Now by the way, I was going to say this. I do want to play this guy. Oh my God, please. Your hair and your skin look great. Thank you. Did you just get back from like a trip, like a vacation or something?

No. But I did have a photo shoot yesterday where they put makeup on me, and I don't know if I got it all off Residual makeup maybe it looks good. Yeah, I got a little hair haircut looks nice Your eyes look clear your skin. This is your natural skin tone. It's my natural skin tone Yeah, wow you mean that I feel like I'm gonna go back and watch this and I'll Wow. Yeah. Wow. You mean that?

I feel like I'm going to go back and watch this and I'll be like, below. No, you look great. No, I'm serious. It looks like you're just like, oh, you know, the Bahamas just took, I was just chilling. I'd love that. Yeah. Because are you a British? Is that your background?

I think French. Yeah. You guys don't tan usually very well, but you look very... That's how lazy I am. The furthest research I did was I think French. Yeah. No interest. You haven't gone any deeper than that?

I think French and I just left it at that. Never a talk with mom or dad. My aunt is obsessed with genealogy and she said that at one point, our last name was spelled Scoville, V-I-L-L-E. Our family got into it. Half of them split, changed the spelling, and that's our family history.

That makes sense. So I was kind of right. So I only know that much. Yeah. Where I said it was kind of right. Wait, what did you say? The way that I said your last thing was kind of right. It was kind of right.

When you attacked me. I don't know if I attacked. You'll know if I'm attacking, because I'll be blowing you. Ha ha ha ha ha. Cupping, sucking each other's nipples on animal skins. When I go flick your nipples and cup your balls while I suck your dick, that's when you'll know I want to fight.

I want to fight you. When you're jizzing all over the place, it's almost time to fight. Yeah, and that's when you'll know I'm ready to fight now, that you're ultimately relaxed. This is a. This is a city council meeting. I think I haven't seen this one yet. Good evening, Cowards. Rick Hubbard, 97, Spruce Lane.

Nice to see a bunch of fat, ugly women. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, no, no. They like that right out of the gate. He's like, what? Let's talk about it. You don't have to buy. Hey, free speech. It's called free speech, buy. That's not free speech.

Please, that's insulting. I love that they all went, whoa, and you went, what? Stop. Let Mr. Hubbard, She's not fat at all. Speak please. It's factually inaccurate. Enough. Go ahead, Rick.

And we wonder why children are retarded stupid today. We wonder why. We wonder why when we have these pathetic people here called teachers rape the children's mind. Whoa, whoa. Wow. Anyway, that's all we got from Rick. So far, good argument. It just ends there.

He nailed it. He nailed it, dude. Here's the thing. The other guy was drinking his own piss and talking about samurai battle. This guy, way too much green. So much green. So much green. The cool guy.

I'm mostly offended by the lack of color. I agree. Green on green is a little aggressive. Yeah. Two greens. How great would it have been if he had on like a bright blue hat and a yellow sweatshirt and been like, hey, you ugly fat pigs. Here's what I do want to say.

To be fair, it does look like he just docked from potentially a 20 year boat. It does, it does. He just got back with all the tuna. So if things have changed socially, he might not know, he's been out at sea. What do you mean you can't talk like this? That's why he was like, what?

Was that bad? Fat ugly broads up here? That is how you would talk on the boat, you know? Wait, what was his gripe? He's like, they're making a kid's wicked retarded. Yeah, he's like. Well, he said that the teachers are ruining the children's minds.

Oh, because they're fat. I thought he was gonna go with their, actually, physically touching children. Yeah, me too. But he was, it's the ideas. They're ruining the children. I wish I knew more of like, where is this and what specifically said this to? I am, I'm going to say the northeast is a block for sure.

Yeah. But I like she's like, okay, Rick. He's there every week. All right, Rick, tell us more about the mind. And she's just like, get to it. What is it again, Rick? She's unfazed. Bunch of retod kids here. Mind.

Oh my god, yeah. I can watch this all day with Rick. Yeah. Everybody every time he's in a different color. It's stupid. It's a yellow, yellow, orange, orange. No one knows what to ultimately perceive him as. Like, why are ugly women is what they are.

It's so funny. It is crazy that even, I gotta say, even the woman up there being like, let him speak. Yeah. Like, oh, she's almost fully aware. She's like, whatever. He needs three minutes. It's fine, oh, she's almost fully aware. She's like, whatever. Like, he needs three minutes. It's fine.

He won't pay for a therapist. Just let him come in here. Do your thing. Rick, hurry it up. We have real issues to try to work out. It's Dover, New Hampshire. Yeah, so. Oh, can we talk about this, by the way?

I just not planned. I just remembered this. I told you this. We work with the same lady. She doesn't want her name smoking good, but I Was in her office. Yes, I look up and I'm like, oh fucking rad painting. She's like Painted why are you painter to know he's a he's a little super legit. I am obsessed Rory scoville. I'm very addicted. Very addicted to it.

Wow, that's your shit? That's some of my stuff right there. Bro, I love it. Look at that picture in the middle though. Oh shit. Look at that. Look at this. That is sexual.

That's the guy that rapes your mind. Look at that fucking guy. That's a library. That's so hot. That's a GQ photo. That really is a good look. Buddy, you're so talented. Hands on face. And can I ask you this? I feel like it was said in jest.

When we did our bid on 69 minutes, it felt like we were doing a week. But I want to buy a painting. You really do? I really do. I collect art. I collect art. I have so many I guess you maybe edit that out. Our friend, our mutual friend. You know, you can leave it. Recently, recently just purchased one yesterday. But I'm obsessed. I started doing it. I was trying to kind of doing it a little bit before COVID

and then I really was doing it a lot during COVID. You know, there's nights you did nothing to do. I would go get high and just go to the garage and. Nice. Can you send me? Can you send me most of the time? Can you send me options? Yeah, I'll send you a bunch. I love it. I love that yellow and black one. That's cool. Dude, it's Yeah, I like the all actually. I like the circle. Chad Daniels bought that one next to the one with me and my dog that colorful one on the left

Oh, that's cool. Not that one. He bought that? Yeah. How about these circular circles right there on the top right? That was a gift for my sister So that's it at her place. Hey, can you do this? Can you go take it back from her? Yeah, okay? If you want it, that's what I'm saying. I'll buy it. You know, you know your sister pay nothing Okay, your buddy Tom will and you know I'll do that. Okay. I love it. I love it break in yeah And then when she's like where is that be like fucking no? Did you take any lessons online or anything? No, I just started doing it.

I think what happened was that I started, you guys have kids, you know the deal. My daughter was like doing it in school, like, you know, when they're just like crayons and finger, all that stuff. And I was like, I don't remember. I think like one afternoon I was like, oh yeah, why don't we just do this together? And I just started doing it. I was like, why don't we ever stop just like doing something that's mindless, just kind of like, not that I really like coloring.

I definitely, and I'm not great at drawing, but like when she would have to paint, I was like, this is fun to do, but at some point in your youth, you're either really good at it and they go, Oh, you're, you're good at at it and they go, oh, you're good at art. Or they go, oh, you're not, you'll do something else. But instead, I don't know why people don't go, hey, you know what's really fun is getting high and sitting in your garage and just painting for 30 minutes and then being like, yeah, I don't know,

that just felt good. I just went out and did that. Like literally like, I don't know, that just felt good. I just went out and did that. Like literally like, I don't know. I think for my own mental health, my dad passed away in covid is like June of 2020. And I remember I came back to LA after the funeral and I started like just I was like, I'm going to paint something for my siblings. I'm one of seven kids. I was like, I'm going to send everybody a painting.

It'll take me a long time. This would be a good like, you know, I don't know, grieving. I don't know what I was like, I'm gonna send everybody a painting. It'll take me a long time. This would be a good like, you know, I don't know, grieving, I didn't know what I was looking for. But I started doing one and I sent a picture of it halfway done to my sister. And she was like, can I have that one? And I was already planning on doing that. And I was like, yeah, I'll finish it

and I'll send it to you. And that just in itself felt really fun. Like I was like, oh, I think this is good. And I'll send it to her. And then I did it for all of them. And it's just kept kind of going. I think this is a great, like, you know, explanation for doing art, but also like for all these things that you I think you get older and you realize,

oh, I don't have to be the best to enjoy doing something. Oh, my God. Well, we get we think like that for a long time. Yeah, I'm not the best. So I should not do that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think yeah. And I think think like that for a long time. I'm not the best, so I should not do that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think, yeah, and I think people are, that's the other thing that I like about it. I mean, I could go off on a tangent and talk about this forever.

But the great thing about painting is that I think we think everybody who does paint and makes money and is a professional and is famous, like that they know what they're doing. Right. But you start doing it and it starts to occur to you like, oh, no one really does know they just do something that they then show. And then other people kind of decide the value.

That's 100%, right? And then it just becomes this very abstract sort of thing where you're like, I think this is worth this much. And then maybe someone agrees to that. That's crazy. I think you can also like the analogy is like pretty applies, I think, to stand up where like people think of like people being like super proficient and what you don't hear are the conversations literally before

going on stage where a couple of comics are like, man, I don't have this shit sucks. And the other one's like, I don't. This is not worth a shit. Yeah, I don't have this shit sucks. And the other one's like, I don't, this is not worth a shit. I hate myself, God, I suck. And then they walk on stage and like kill. And then walk off and they're like, I mean, I guess they liked it, but that wasn't good. That's how comedians are.

Yes. I think that, yeah, that level of doubt is like. It's good. It's so much. I think it's good to have. And that nervous energy is good to have. But also I think like painting in terms of. And that nervous energy is good to have. But also, I think painting, in terms of like stand-up comedy, when someone's new, if you're like, who's your favorite comic, if they're like, oh, I like Tom Segura. It's like, okay. And then you see them go on stage,

and they're trying to, like, well, Tom did this, and he's getting laughs, and he's doing well. I'll do that. And you don't know how to explain to them Like you could sound identical. Yeah, it's not interesting because it's already claimed that whatever that thing is It's already happening from a certain outlet that people enjoy getting it from That it makes you go well then well then shit. Who am I like? What is my and that's what you got to think right thing and you kind of figured out in painting too You can try to like paint the way someone paints but you do also try to get to a place of really like Well, what do I think is an interesting painting that makes me feel like you know

I'm not they have to be like some crazy original person at the end of the day It's gonna be shapes and colors and yeah, oh this looks like so-and-so like yeah, of course now But I it does put you in a position to be like, well, getting to a point where you go, well, when do I think I like it? And I think that's so powerful when you stand behind the thing you like. It gets you further away from, ah, fuck, I don't have anything,

they're not gonna like it. Like it's kind of more fun to watch them and go, I actually, I don't have anything, but I'm gonna fucking crush it. And then it's kind of great when they don't. And they come off stage and they're kind of not even phased. And they're like, I don't know, I liked it. You're like, all right, that's kind of terrifying.

But I get it and you kind of like it. Yeah, that was confusing. No, but I get what you're saying. Yeah. I get what you're saying. Do you get what she's saying? People ask us, how do we keep the bugs out of the house without any walls or screens or doors or windows?

Do you love this? That I respond. And you love this? We don't keep the bugs out. Yeah. We just learn to coexist with them. Oh, I love it. Do you love this, living?

There are little bees in there. And you love it. Leaving little piles of honey in our doors right now. So wonderful. Oh, I love it. Do you love this living? I love it. That fucking music. Great. Those are bees. There's bees in my house. They're doing their thing. So good.

So cool. The cat's like, I don't like it. The cat's got a cigarette. Oh, you don't mind it? It sucks. I get stung every morning. So these two maniacs live in a, quote, nature house with no windows, screens, or doors.

And they're like, how do we live with the bugs? And they are they sleep? I don't know if there's another one. Is there another other videos there? I just said that one. Yeah, there's more. It's interesting that they have stuff, like actual artwork and stuff.

Well, and then the two of them are sitting on their couch next to an open window and there's like just bugs and things crawling and they're like, yeah, when we sleep, bugs just crawl all over us. Yeah. Just get used to it. I'm like, that sounds great. That sounds awesome.

Tom, that sounds like your dream. It's such a cool thing. I saw a cockroach in a hotel recently. Oh. And I just, I killed it. I killed it. I just laid in bed. And I just debated in my whole, the whole time I was like,

this isn't a gross hotel. It's not the nicest. Oh no. But it's not gross, you know, by our standards of what we've been through in our careers. I was like, it isn't one of those. There shouldn't have been a cockroach. I just laid in bed wondering, how do I, do I bring this up?

So I just, I had the dead cockroach on a towel and I just let it be out to convey, hey, you might want to, no, no, in the room. I was like checking out. I was like, anyways, there it is. There it is. This is also in here, just so you know. But I just laid in bed and I was just like, all I thought about was another one crawling

like on my mouth. On your face, in your ear. On my mouth. Well, and I've worked in the service industry for years in the beginning, just so you know, like all your favorite restaurants, roaches. Name them Applebee, Chili. Rats. It's like it just, it's par for the course.

Like if you're in the restaurant business, chances are there's shit, there's Sherman. It's fucking gnarly. Yeah, Temple of Doom ruined everything for me. Oh, bro. I know what I know what you're talking about forever. That's and I've never even seen any of those actual bugs in real life because they're so exotic. Bro, that was.

How did they even put her hand through? And he's like, if you don't, we get smushed and she just had to do it. I was like, I think I would just lose my friends. What is a grosser to you? Or like more, you know, like, skis you out more. Roaches? Oh, fuck you. Uh, rats.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Or, uh, snakes. Probably roaches, honestly. Which seems like a weird answer. But I think roaches. What kind of snakes, like, big pythons that'll eat you whole are like little ones that can slither all over you and get in your bed? Like, a bed full of snakes, a bed full ofons that'll eat you whole or like little ones that can slither all over you and get in your bed?

Like a bed full of snakes, a bed full of roaches or a bed full of rats? Holy fuck, that's yeah. I, at least like a snake, you're kind of like, you know where they are. Roaches, you're like, you're everywhere. You're in the walls. You're hiding.

You're upside down on things. Snakes are kinda like, I'm over here. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, I'm not trying to surprise you. And rats are like, I'm trying to hide like a cockroach.

I'm just about to look at me. Oh, oh, oh, I think rats. I'm too big, I can't hide. I mean, rats. I think they're all gross. It's hard to, actually, it's. Those are all gross. It's hard to rank them Okay, I'm gonna say here fine, but

Roaches will crawl in your ears and your eyes and crawl on your face Rats will rats have teeth and will bite you and bite your face out what restaurants have you worked? I think actually we should name the restaurants Now knowing what you have seen I think people should eat your face You talking about cheesecake factory? No, I'm talking about a particular Indian restaurant I'll tell you off camera in Los Angeles Wowzers Wow, you saw them eat people's faces Wow Wow I don't know. That's my teeth. They can bite you snakes like little like a like a garden snake

Yeah, they're like they'll pile at the foot probably and be in circles together. So I would do snakes, not poisonous snakes. They're not gonna bite you if they're non-poisonous. And they're just trying to sleep too. Snakes gonna leave you alone probably. And snakes are almost kinda like, I'm sorry I look like this. Rats and cockroaches don't seem to care,

but snakes are kinda like, I know it's embarrassing. I don't have a life. I think the roach is gonna... My entire body is muscle. The roaches might fuck with you the most in a way. It's at least harmful, but it's the one that's gonna... It's gonna move all night. And they don't sleep, right?

They just like... They'll survive the apocalypse. That freaks me out. Yeah. What do they know? Yeah. Okay, I don't understand this. How come when it gets cold?

They're also building a bunker in Hawaii. How come when it gets cold? They're also building a bunker in Hawaii. How come when it gets cold, they all die, right? All the bugs die. Yeah. Temperature raises, they're all back. Well, how do they get all back? They all just come back. How?

Did you know that this year, I think it's this year, is like the crazy, I think, cicada 200, 200 year thing. I love it. I think cicada 200 year thing. I love it. Where it's about to be a massive plague of bugs from underground. I know everything I just said, sounds like I drink my own piss,

but I swear to God. It's good for you though, it's so good for you. But there's nutrients in there that your body said I don't need the first time. Your body's not right. It's from aside. No, he's not right. It's from aside. No, he's right. So the cicadas, they live underground,

so it's cold and then when it's warm, they like awaken and they come up and out. Yeah, but I don't know what you mean. I don't know. I always think that too. Like how does it- Do you like this? Like with death, dude.

You gotta ask Jordan if this has been inside of her because it's been inside of Christina. It's not crazy. Like with death has been inside of you? No, the can. Oh, you've put the can inside of you? That one, that particular can. We gave it to you as a gift.

Yeah. Before every guest comes on the show, I put the can inside of me and I offer it to you. No, no, I'm used to it. That's what my wife does that when she's going into battle. Can't really touch the fingers of the thumb, cool. Oh, the can at all. Yeah. that's like a solid inch and a half cicadas are cool also Pull it real it right back in glow bugs. Okay, really?

I'd ever see them Lightning lightning looking like the freeze ladies and gentlemen. What is happening? She's so it's this woman and she's like reading a comment that somebody left her that says, you looking like the phrase ladies and gentlemen. She has kind of like the androgynous haircut, you know. You looking like the phrase ladies and gentlemen. She has kind of like the androgynous haircut, you know? You looking like the phrase ladies and gentlemen. She's got a good sense of humor.

I mean, that just crushed her. That crushed her. That's so funny. Yeah. That really did break the genre. That broke her in half, dude. That's it. That's it right there.

Do you have any thoughts about the lady that the Prince of Wales should marry? Um, yes. Well, I suppose, um, it's all difficult. Did you see the tongue work at the beginning? I saw it. When you marry, in my position, you're going to marry somebody who perhaps one day is going to become queen. And you've got to choose somebody, be really careful

I think. And it's got to be somebody pretty special because if you choose somebody who isn't used to it, I think it probably causes... But I wanted to... This is the King Ralph. Oh, this is King Ralph, yeah. The John Goodman walks in on the next scene. I remember this now. I wanted to bring this up. A propos, a discussion we had like a while ago, how I brought the idea that Prince Charles was attractive at some point in his life. And I would like to cite... The fight that this is your example is really alarming. I think he's cute with the tongue

action in the beginning. Just play the tongue in them in. That was a lizard vibe, right? This is what's so weird about you. This is so weird about you. This is your example of like, that's pretty sexy. Oh, I like his mouth. Like this is your example of like a sexy guy. If you're sitting here saying, if I have to be like her lawyer, you know what I mean?

I go, ah, his eyes! My poser's sweating! He doesn't look good yet. That action right there. Christina's picturing her huge clam. Her huge clam getting licked right now by that big time. That look right after the tongue goes away. Thank you. I mean, I thought he was cute.

I don't know. Look, I thought he was cute. Is it his eyes? Do you like his eyes? I like his mouth, I like his eyes. I think he's kind of cute cute. I don't know. Look, I thought he was cute. Is it his eyes? Do you like his eyes? I like his mouth. I like his eyes. I think he's kind of cute and naughty and British. Let me see.

Let me see. Post-tongue mouth. Maybe that's... Because tongue mouth... I think he's cute. It looks like he's got... Cover the ears. You know, he does look like he has good lips.

Cute. Yeah. Cover his ears. I think you're right. He's cute. I think you're right. He's fine. You don't. You don't. And you're being kind. The truth is, his eyes are too close together. He's got big old fucking elephant ears.

I don't like the ears. He looks goofy as shit. I don't like the ears. The ears aren't good. I've just said that. Look, I cover the ears and the face is good. Now we have to cover parts of the face to appreciate the face. Yes. OK. It looks like his mother and she was attractive.

It's not bad. Yeah, it's not bad You I think if you get rid of those ears you're you're doing something. Yeah But that Do you think the interviewers like sorry do you want to take a break or are you good? No? No, I'm just looking my lips. Okay, cuz the just the way you did it. It just felt like Okay, cuz the just the way you did it it just felt like You're gonna try to kill me This footage it was it was a meme and the footage was slowed down of him So the link in real time is just like like it's a lick

But they slowed it down for this effect, which I thought was funny. Yeah, that's cool I just I don't think I've ever been sitting with anyone like I'm fine. Not a little dry. Just a little dry. Just a little dry. Yeah, I like that. There you go.

But you also like this, which is fucking disgusting. I like this. No, no. What does that make you think? No, but that's the part, that's the problem. It's not the time. When she says- It's that you find the face attractive actually upsets me.

Yeah, because does it make you- Because if you're supposed to find me attractive, this guy's fucking ugly as shit, and you're saying that he's attractive. Does it make you think you've been misperceiving yourself this whole time? Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. And that's the part that upsets you,

is you're like, wait a minute, what the fuck do I look like? Like one to 10, what do you think you are? On a scale of one to 10? Yeah. Maybe like right now? Yeah. Six, six and a half?

No, higher. But I think this is a two this is like a one or a two like if I'm being honest if you told me to like that's not real no this isn't for you not realistic this is a one or a two on a scale of one to ten no no you know if you have a whole package and you have to include the ears you don't get to delete that. You can't delete ears. You can't delete ears. He's a fucking ugly guy.

And he's not the king. It's a fucking ugly guy. Or the king to be. You like ugly fucking guys. He's not a prince. And so like you shouldn't be with me because I'm not a fucking ugly guy like this. You're a 6.3.

You like ugly guys. You should be with ugly people. You're a 6.3. This is fucking gross. I think he. It's upsetting how ugly he is. I'm going to give him a three at most a four. Wow.

OK. But it's four. No, it's not a four. It's a is. I'm gonna give him a three at most a four. Wow. Okay, but it's four, no, it's not a four, it's a three. And I'll give you three, because he's a two, I'll give you a three. And the fact that you're celebrating a three is really upsetting. No, and in addition, he is the prince of Wales. Get the fuck out of here, you shit.

Listen, you have to add his status. I looked it up. Okay. You have to add his, well now he's the king, but you have to add his social status and his wealth to the equation because he's a dude. It's not like. Sure with his fingers. Yeah, yeah, his cancer.

Thanks for making fun of him. I think he's out. You what kind of cancer causes your fingers to do that? That's not no. He's in. Eight thousand comments about the different types of cancers. Sorry. He did.

Yeah. No, he's got cancer. He's so ugly. So fucking ugly. I thought he was cute when he was younger. No, no, the guy is ugly. He was a little boy. He was a young man, young adult, old man. He's an ugly man.

Can we agree that a young Prince William was hot? No, of course not. He was so attractive when he had hair and he was like 20. Oh, Prince William. Dude, he was a smoke show. Okay. I don't know if I got a got smoke show but he didn't look like that. Prince Google hot-ass Prince William. No you don't. You don't have to. No I actually would like if you specifically Google that. Hot-ass Prince William. Oh my god. Well that's the guy. Wait what guy? It's a small world Disneyland guy that took his clothes off.

He's kind of out of his mind high. What's a Disney adult? He's got good apps. How come there's never a where are they now about people like this? So the thing is he eventually ended up taking all of his clothes off, which I was kind of hoping we could see what we're dealing with here. Look at that lady's face. She's probably sitting with her kid. Fuck.

We were there the week after this happened, actually. Was the ride shut down? No. Was he still there? He was there for a while, they said. They could not get him. They couldn't get him for a while. You're coming over here.

There, see, oh yes. Now he's naked. Now he's naked. It's a small world. Wait, he's naked. No, he's naked. It's a small world. Wait, he made it out. He made it out. He walked out of the tunnel, I guess. You know, this is a true story.

It's not even a fun story, but we were on this ride in Disneyland and the couple behind us put up, at the end of the ride, they put up a picture of me on their phone and the guy goes, is this you? And I turn around and I was like, yeah, I was like, that is me. And he goes, I can't believe we just ran to you on this ride. And I just go, that is a small world after all. And my wife rolled her eyes. Like they just like went all the way back around. And when we got off, I go, I was like, what is more perfect than that line on this ride? I go, I didn't set it up. I go, even the guy didn't fully appreciate it.

But I was like, this was a perfect, the planets lined up beautifully for me to say it's a small world after all. And no one really. I'll tell you what. And I stand by it. And I'll say this, you deserve this. It was fucking awesome. It deserved an explosion sound effect. That was fucking awesome, dude.

If you want more jokes like that, Rory Scoble's new special, Religion, Sex, and a Few Things in Between is out tomorrow on Max. Nice. Rory is a great artist. You're gonna send me some options for artwork. You might steal something from your sister.

That's right. People can follow you on at all at Rory Scoville. All of the things, roryscovill.com, Rory's at Rory Scoville. I don't even know what I have. Check out his great performance in the show. Physical. Physical Apple TV Plus.

God, you're so good on that. Thank you. Thank you. Thanks for coming in. We love you. Thanks, Harry. Bye guys. See you next time. Now in this program I will find out that many of them are phallic phallic they are evil phallic phallic they are signs of satanism phallic phallic see what I am talking about phallic phallic the male genitalia phallic phallic they are evil phallic phallic they are signs of Satanism. Balak, balak, see what I am talking about. Balak, balak, the males in the taillies. Let's take a look at the first of these, which I have called the birth of the Antichrist. This is actually the figure of a naked woman, and the crotch is formed by a bird. But right opposite the woman is a penguin.

This sign, the penguin's cage, constitutes the phallic symbol. And in fact, represents gigantic, gigantic phallic phallic. They are evil. Phallic phallic. They are signs of Satanism. Phallic phallic, see what I am talking about phallic phallic, the male genitalia, phallic phallic, they are evil phallic phallic, they are signs of Satanism, phallic phallic, see what I am talking about

phallic phallic, the male genitalia See what I am talking about Fouluck, fouluck The males in the tailiard