Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - Skankfest Drama w/ Kim Congdon & Sara Weinshenk | Your Mom's House Ep. 731

Episode Date: October 25, 2023

Go to https://Saatva.com/theshit to get $200 off ANY mattress of your choice.This week on Your Mom's House Podcast, Tom opens up the episode by sharing his new favorite show and his thoughts on the hard workers of America at Walmart and coffee shops. Christina and Tom welcome the girls from This Bitch Podcast, Sara Weinshenk and Kim Congdon, on the pod. They are fresh off the plane from Skankfest in Vegas and they have some stories to tell. Sara and Kim share their latest escapades in between the YMH-style clips Tom and Christina picked out for them. Before wrapping up the episode, the girls were introduced to Jesse Lee Peterson, which caused Kim to have a troubling realization.https://tomsegura.com/tourhttps://christinaponline.com/tour-dateshttps://store.ymhstudios.com/https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast

This week on your mom's house we miss a a We miss it. We all had something to fear. I think so, but I'm saying like I could definitely Walk down the wrong alley on this one You guys messed around with trans people it's bullying them online. I'm just kidding. Well, welcome. Welcome to your mom's house. This episode of your mom's house is brought to you by S-A-T-V-A.com slash the shit. That's right, the URL includes the shit.

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Get $200 off any mattress of your choice. Such a big straw. Well, that is a big straw. I get a big old black dick straw a big straw. Wow, that is a big straw. I get a big old black dick straw coming right out. Jesus, which is start like that. Oh my God. I was like, I like it that way. Where are you saying now?

I mean, it's hard to focus after that. Yeah. I know, it's so good. I think I know who you'd pick on the naked dating show. Surprisingly. I saw this show when I was in Europe. You're what you get on the airplane, you see? Not on the airplane in Europe at a hotel.

And it just has people, it's a dating show. It's a fun premise, which is, hey, you're single, here's criteria, you tell them things you're attracted to. And then people are behind these glass, you know, colored, like cubed walls. And then they raise, they raise what you can see. So your first thing is you see their genitals. And then you start to go like, yeah, I like that. I don't like that. And it's not what you people react differently to what they make it could attraction so it's called they could attraction. Yeah, yeah So yeah, it's on max right now formerly known as HBO which was then HBO max and that was just max okay, but anyway

It exposes their genitals and then it exposes their midsection and finally you see their face Yeah, and then they get them to say a few words and then these people pick a date based on that, which is, it's just fascinating. Like I've never not been into watching dating shows, hearing dating stories and stuff. And so you're kind of watching this unravel. But the big thing is that as you're watching it, it affects you differently than you, you think you're going to be like, oh shit. I want to get horny. Yeah. It doesn't really happen like that. It didn't make me horny as it made me sad. It does make you kind of sad. Because you're like, oh, it's so superficial. When she's like, oh, I don't like her vagina lips,

those are too big. And you're like, yeah, but she can't do anything about that. Or I don't like his penis size. He's too large, which is small. It's like, yeah, but he can't do anything about that. He can't do anything about that. And also, like, I mean, even the guy was like, you know, he's like, well, I'm really gentle and she would like, you know, he's like, well, I'm really

gentle and she would have, you know, if she would have met. And you could see he's like a very like soft, kind of meek personality. Oh, sweet. He was very sweet. And but like, yeah, you're just, I don't know, I guess we all do this, right? You pick based on things that are superficial sometimes. But to see it this way is kind of fascinating. And I wonder, and every time I watch it, I think, would you and I have been matched?

If, first of all, I mean, not now, like if I did it this show, 47. They would raise it up, you go. Oh, the whole UK would vomit in their tea and crumpets. Yeah, I mean, when it, no, notice nobody's over 30 on that show for a reason. Face when they pulled up the thing on me, they go, ugh.

God. They should do the middle-aged version. for a reason. Face when they pulled up the thing on me, they go, ugh. Oh, god. They should do the middle aged version, be like, well, it's not as soggy as I thought he'd be. This one's in decent shape. But by the way, here's what I liked about the show. It makes you realize that pretty much everybody's body sucks. In some way. In some way.

And like, there's like one fit guy or one fit girl out of the five, but most of them are just normal like us. And surprisingly, sometimes the most fit people don't get chosen. Actually, don't get chosen. Don't get chosen. Every time I saw it, actually. Um, my one critique is that I wanted it to be hornier. I feel like I, it wasn't as hornier as I hoped. And the one cool part is where the guy and the girl get matched

and he's standing next to her. And I was like, uh, oh,oh, what if these guys get boners He totally started to get hard. Yeah, that was the best part. I was pretty cool That was pretty cool. So that was the cool The girl gets to pick and then the thing is at the very end when she's down to two people I think she gets naked or no after she chooses or something she gets naked, right? Yeah Yeah, or maybe it's the final two. Whoever's picking, they get naked at the end. And so now you're both naked.

And they had real, they were really attracted to each other. You could tell it was gonna be a match. And as he's checking her out and the late, the host is like, what do you think her? He's like, man, she's gorgeous. And then she's standing next to him naked. And then they show a wide shot and his dick totally started to go like, it lifted up and you're like

just getting a heart on yeah and I could have and that's the part I would have liked that's actually how they should have done the show they put the guy in the girl next to each other naked and if the guy gets a boner fantastic then like that's half a match that's a better it's a better and then he touches her meow and if it's like ready to go you're just talking about porn at this point you really said like you're like you know what have been better if I just watched a porn. But they go on a date after. Oh my God. Yeah, nobody cares about that part.

Yeah, and it's weird to how I really learned stuff like, you know, a lot of the girls shave their nails and then we saw a girl head full meal. Yeah, full coverage. I like it. And I liked it. I was like, oh wait, I feel like it's nostalgic to see pubic hair. And they're saying how there's pheromones released in pubic hair that affect attraction. So you're actually taking away your attractiveness to the partner.

Your partner. You're my partner. So popular now to like to shave everything. And I think it feels weird to me. It feels childish when I shave all of it. Super bald posties everywhere. Like grow your hair out a little bit. A little bit of hair.

But now I think I want to go full bush because I really liked how that chick looked. And she just trims up the sides. And it looked like cool, you know? It was symmetrical. She was cool. And they all, they looked like they went out for a while. They followed them up like a month later.

They've been banging and they've been eating stuff. Yeah. Going on day. But the one good thing about seeing somebody naked before you date them is you can see exactly how mentally ill they might be dependent on their tattoos. Like one guy was an amputee, he was missing a leg from the knee down and then he had done like an elephant

ear tattoo so that the elephant's trunk was the dick and you're like, that guy's mentally ill. That's a lot. He landed on a drunken time out in Thailand that they got drunk and his friends walked into a tattoo place. But it's kind of weird. They know you're like, this is too much, too much for me. That is true that you could have picked that guy

and then seen that and been like, what the fuck, dude? Yeah, that's disappointing. Or if the tattoos are really out there and too stupid. They're nice and cool ones too. Yeah. The funny thing is it does flip your brain. One of the people on the show, it goes,

well, now I can't wait to see this person with clothes. And you realize that is it? Like once you see them with clothes, then you kind of actually judge them the way you do in society. Yeah. You're like, this person dresses like shit. Yeah, they're crazy. that is like once you sit in with clothes, then you kind of actually judge them the way you do in society. Yeah. You're like, this person dresses like shit.

Yeah, they're crazy. Yeah, you start to like really put a judgment on them. Yeah. Yeah, because that's how you are 90% of the time, right? Yeah. And also I didn't like a lot of people cellulite and skin. And some of it bothered me.

I think they should just show penises and boobs. That's it. And then yeah, just don't show me legs, because one guy was bolegged, and I was like, I don't wanna see that shit put, yeah, very judgmental. Genitals and titties. Okay, what do you think?

I mean, yeah, I, what if you didn't choose a partner just on their genitals, that would be so funny, just genitals. Just genitals. No, no, no, you need more information. Yeah, that just shows you, maybe that's the thing you learn from watching the show. Yeah. That this is not the way to pick someone.

Just on their genitals. Yeah. Yeah, because interestingly enough, this is where society's moving because of like swiping and stuff. All you see is the image. You don't connect it to a human being. It's not good for you. Gosh, it's not good for you.

It's really not. All right, let's start the show. You ready? Yeah. I think you'll impress. You'll like this. Another reason why I want to leave Walmart is that I was supposed to have a break over an hour and a half ago. Yeah. I asked in my manager if I can take my break. My manager said, yeah, we're going to get somebody to come cover your break. 15 minutes later, nobody went over the radio again. It said, yeah, somebody will be there in a few minutes to come cover your break. Still nothing. And it's like, what the fuck? Another reason why I don't want to work you anymore.

This is a big time! Oh, it's random. Don't bring anyone up in the scene. Don't run, don't run, it's sad! Well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, Oh This really tickled you This is dumb. Meow meow meow. Come on. Meow meow meow. Stop it. Oh, I have an idea.

Hey, T. I'm sorry. Another reason why I don't want to wake you anymore. Cause the Blake. What's my Blake? He fucking was like. He's so upset. This is so passive aggressive. So mad. He decided to at work to be like,

all right, let me tell you something. It's supposed to be break time. And I mean, waiting. And I asked and they said someone's coming. It's like, what the fuck? Where is my break? I mean, when you're a worker like this, all you have is your fucking break.

That's it. That's some person's, that's the mountain top of the day. I'm on break right now. Every crappy job I've had, because you want to smoke your sick, I don't know what this guy does. Maybe he eats his candy that he steals. He's got butter, scotch candies in his pockets that he eats.

They just pay him in monopoly money, he knows and even know. Do you know that there's a pharmacy here in Texas in Austin, the exclusively hires TikToks? Did not know that. Oh, it's the best. I'm not gonna say the name of the company. Did you ever talk to your Zimzer and ask? But it rhymes with Mandals, yeah.

I never talked to the Zimzer because the Zimzer was let go. I apparently doesn't work there I don't know what happened between them. They don't work there. They don't work there But it was that was quite a fiasco. So this place hires exclusively tick tocks and Zimzers It's the fucking best dude. Yeah, you know what else is that? Huh every coffee place in Texas in America. It is the most every coffee place in Texas in America. It is the most LG BTQ plus business that I bet every coffee shop you get you you walk up and you're like,

I don't know what the fuck I'm looking at right now. Can I get a cappuccino? That's like the standard for a coffee place. You fucking non-binary, the cat ears and the whiskers and what are you doing? A guy with tits, you know, like, what's up? I'm stuck there. Can I get a latte?

Yeah. Look, an all I care about really is a sense of urgency. If you're, if you're the barista, give me that shit and give it to me now. No, I notice too. A lot of those, a lot of the baristas and coffee shop workers that have been a poor job of transitioning, they have a a poor job of transitioning. They have a shitty or two'd overall. It's like when they're just like, I look like a fucking basset hound.

Right. And you know, you walk up and they're like, yeah, can I help you? But it's so true. Name for the order. And you're like, how about a little sunshine? You're not exactly welcoming right now. But like a pretty person that they're like happier because they're like the ugly person

that they just know that it's never gonna work. So I think that. Do you think they know? Because here's the thing Tom. Because we've seen some bad transition jobs. And you're like, do you think they know? They don't look good, are they still caring the hope?

I think they might still be caring because they're like, I feel more comfortable with the body. Here's the thing, it's both. It's both. You know, but you still have hope. You know what I mean? You know, but you have hope. It's so hard.

Yeah. But also there's such an attitude with the ones that are really putting it out there. Like for instance, there is one particular hard. Yeah. But also there's such an attitude with the ones that are really putting it out there. Like for instance, there is one particular employee. Yeah. We're not gonna go into too many details, but they do dress up and cost to me a tire. Yeah.

For their coffee shop, coffee house job, which is like you're really asking for attention and we're getting upset when somebody gives it to you. Yeah, yeah. Like shut the fuck up. I fucked up at that place one time. You did? Yeah, but I fucked up at that place one time. You did? Yeah, but I mean, I wasn't doing it.

I just, it was, you have just habits, the way you like greet people and stuff. And I just walked in, I was like, what's that man? Oh yeah. You know, like it was, I wasn't like. Oh yeah. Yeah, and they were like, yeah. So, so I was interacting with a couple of Zimzers too.

Yeah. And, yeah, I saw them every day for a while and I did I never asked I didn't know how to ask the pronoun and so and every day I'd be like how you guys doing I'm like oh no. Yeah. I'm so presumptuous. It's very sweet. Fair though. The weird part is I'd walk in and they would be talking about Melissa Atherich. Yeah. And I was like well if this isn't some stereotypical yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I walk in on you. One're in the case conversation. You can hear it. Fucking weird, right? I mean, like, I'll tell you who's fucking unbelievably well done at the transition is this lady here.

This girl is every bit of a woman and then some. Think of her as that happy marriage that extra special toy that you have to save with. Your eye line's a little off, but I like your message. It's made by Oh My Deezus. Oh, Oh My Deezus crushes. But can I tell you those seriously? I mean, it's so funny when I saw this online,

but that is a trans, that is a transgendered person. Like this woman is incredibly believable. Look at her. Some dudes do really well as women, really well. Now the other way around, it's a little harder, no? I think so, but I'm saying I could definitely walk down the wrong alley on this one. Oops. I mean, she looks perfect.

She looks like a beautiful woman. Hold on. Transnaked dating show. Yeah, that's awesome. That will be fucking fun. Thataked dating show. Yeah, that's awesome. That would be fucking fun. That would be awesome. Okay, here's what I want next from the UK. Middle aged soggy bodies dating show, where it's like dirt bags like us that are newly divorced

and just desperate and sad, or the trans dating show. That would be so much better. Trans dating is so much better. Fucking cool. And you're like, I don't know what I'm looking at, but I think I like it. And then they reveal the face. I would love to see the mental break of a real, a real right-wing dude.

Who's this gorgeous woman? Like shit. And then falls in love. He's like just totally like, I've never met anybody like this. And then they're like, you know, she wasn't always like to, whoa, she used to have Yep. And then they're like, you know, she wasn't always like to, whoa, she used to have dark hair and they're like, no, dark hair.

Little different. And then like his brain cracks, but he's like, fuck it. Fuck it. Yeah, that would be the show. That's what happened to you here, because I remember you were like, I don't know if I how I feel about her

and then you went back to Vegas and you guys spent a weekend together and now look at you too. Yeah. No, she's rad. No, she looks great. I'm very jealous of trans boobies and vagines. They're so much better than mine.

I wish I could get a new trans vagina. Wouldn't you love that if I got a, just a whole new rebuild down there? I mean, they do, they do, they do, they do surgery down there for, I want a full, full redo. Okay, we can send you somewhere we know my Lich. I want one with zero my Lich Artisanal You don't have to sell me on it Well, that to scoop out my existing whatever they have to do who cares?

Let's do it later and then let's make some calls They definitely offer what you're saying right now, so let So I don't know why we're even fucking around. I'm sold. Yes. Yes, please. Yes, friends. Yes, friends. Oh yeah, labio plastic.

Yeah, yeah, Rajuves, the reshape your labia or the lips of your veg. Yeah, sure. Vegina. Vagina plastic. The titans are repairs. How? So there was this procedure in LA

where they put like a wand, a dildo wand in there and it makes college and grown. I was like, this sounds a lot. I don't know, I mean. I think you should stop looking for the nose and just kind of say yes. The vaginal vault. Jesus Christ.

Yeah. I just wanna be trans women. the vaginal vault. Jesus Christ. Okay. I just wanna be trans women. Can they rebuild all of it though? Like tits to body, muscle tone, musculature. Because here's why trans women look so good. They got that petite male musculature. Do you know what I'm saying? They got like, what do you guys call them?

The dick muscles there. The, you guys always say that the, the dick root? The dick root, like, you know what I'm saying? Like it kind of like, it's like a super fit woman. Right. And if you're a trend, you're a guy that's become a woman, like you're already fucking fit.

Right. And then you put these cool lady parts on them and now you're just like a 10, bro. Yeah. And we're all fucking jacking off to that. Yeah. Yeah, I like it. See, I'm not thinking a man should fear more than a woman who's comfortable being alone.

You are now competing with me. You're not competing with other guys. I am good being alone. I am fine. So you have to be better than me. You have to make it so that I want to be with you instead of being with me. How are you gonna do that? I know, I felt so many feelings. Yeah, I think she's got a hard shell up.

That's all I see is just somebody who's posturing, doesn't seem like it's actually genuine. I know, I felt just... She does this to protect herself. The whole thing is there's a protective mechanism to not get hurt. For sure. So you just say, I'm great alone, okay?

Because she's been really hurt by somebody, or maybe multiple people. I know, and here's the thing, like, we don't know this woman. It does look like she's been hurt. And like totally, my heart goes out to her. But I think what's really the new speak of single women is a lot of this, like, I'm far bit by myself. I don't need a man to do anything. Why did her accent change? Because that's how these chicks talk. Do your sister's voice. That's totally on me.

I can't, I have phaba-ulbs. She did have vulgar fry. I'm saying that. She's like, I'm fine being by myself. And so you're competing with me. She has fry. But she's a lot of phaba-bal-bal-salf. She doesn't like that. She has fry, but she's like, I'll fah-bah-ionists. People need to be with other people. We know that. No, no, I'm just making the point. And I'm saying, that's something that is true, no matter, even if you're like, I'm good,

and you need to be with other people. Like, you can be somebody who's not very sexual. That's falls under the normal spectrum. You don't have to be somebody who's like, but you need to be around other people and with like the whole idea that like, I love just being with me and nobody else. That's really not true. It's not true. It's a little juvenile. Yeah, it is, but it's again, it's just to protect yourself. That's why she said. Yeah, but that is the popular thing of like I can buy my own shit. I don't need nobody to do shit for me It's like, okay, we'll enjoy being alone if you don't feel like you need anybody in the world

Yeah, I also think men the good ones out there enjoy Providing and taking care, right? I mean are like being masculine and like being needed is cool Yeah, how would I mean basically I was trying to think of, if you and I met way back in the million years ago, when I was 23 and I was saying this shit to you, like do you think you could even get past that? I might have been able to see, that's the thing is you did do a kind of a version of this.

And I think I could see that it was like. I was a little more hostile. Yeah, you were kind of hostile. It's like I'm never getting nervous. Yeah, yeah, but I'm saying I could see. I was like, oh, that's just something she's saying because she's upset. And Sammage Burr, Broken Wings.

Yeah, she just a kick, someone's been kicking the shit out of this dog on the streets. Yeah. Yeah, but I mean, you're lucky that I was able to detect that, you know? Yeah, maybe. Not maybe, you were. Maybe.

No, no, you were. Perhaps they say, you were. Maybe. No, no, you were. Perhaps they say, possibly. Yeah, you're very lucky. Very lucky. Yeah, but I was also cute. Well, that's why you were lucky. I was 20-something. I might vage-look like it, like, it should be on that game show.

Yeah. That was way cute. There's a few more comic, I mean, there was like a lot of us, dog, bass, and howl, and city., can't, please bring up something very quickly. Yeah. I saw the Pesh mode. And they're so good. Dave Gone is like 61 years old.

And this fool, he moves like he does. Yoga every day, you can see him doing his yoga moves. He doesn't have blur mind when somebody's 61. Put on shows. And you're like, all the fuck. I was talking to a friend and they said that Mick Jagger and the Stones, they do full rehearsals, full rehearsals before the show, just that every intense, hard one so that everything is perfect. And I'm like, that's what's a Pech Moe is doing.

Yeah. It is, it was unreal, Tommy. Yeah, Mick does like crazy workouts still. Wow. How easy is he? Yeah, Mick does like crazy workouts still. Wow, how easy. Oh, by the way, they're releasing a new album and the single Angry, it's Slaps.

I wanna see them, please. And then you go, you go, oh, this album was written by my mom and my aunt Blanca. Imagine if they were like, we got a new song that we wrote. You know what I mean? Oh my God. That's right. They're 80.

And these guys are putting out bangers. Yeah, and your mom lives a vastly different life. Then Mick Jagger? No. No. Yeah. That is crazy. Look at these fuckers.

Yeah. They're parting. They're still living their best lives. Look at them. I would love to see this show. I know this is going to be one of the last opportunities, but I would love to see this show. Even when you look up to Pesh mode,

I mean, look, they're all alive. So to Pesh mode, they unfortunately lost Andrew. So now it's just Martin Gore and those two guys, they look great. They look fucking amazing. And like Dave had problems with the hair on and drugs. He like three heart attacks and like a month, like crazy stuff.

They're crushing it, man. Look at these, these rock stars are their different genetic breed. Yeah. Yeah. Fucking amazing. Now, comedians we stay alive mentally for a minute, right? A little bit of burl, tonic, we can stay alive. You can't throw in the tower.

You can't throw in the tower. That's the whole thing. Anyway, it came to the conclusion. You ever see a band that like moves you so much and you're like, oh my God, do, like, Dopech mode is my, they're my genitals, like they get me, they brick me up, I get ripped up when I watch Dopech mode. I watch Dave Gahan spread his ass cheeks and do things

and I'm like, I'm fucking, I'm heart. So I came to the conclusion that depeche mode is my vagina The cure is my blood and my soul is about us. I don't fucking know you at all You don't feel this way about bands. Yeah, you don't feel this way about your music You don't even know you're made of teflon. Yeah, no soul Yeah, I'm so I'm so moved by this show. I was so moved. Do you ever see a performance in cell transcendent

and you're like, oh my God. You're not a drunk. You're review is upsetting is what I was saying. I think that's how much I'm not enjoying your review. I'm actually upset by it. You, listen, you and I go watch the push mode and if you're not bricked up watching Dave gone, move his little ass on the stage.

You're not alive. All right, cool. You don't weep when Martin Gore sings his solos. Come on. You're not alive. A plus size influencer. Oh boy, these are my favorites. Who previously demanded airlines,

comp larger passengers for extra seats, is not asking hotels around the world to make a number of changes to better accommodate overweight guests including by making the hallways wider. That's an easy fix. In a video posted who are TikTok-last-month, Jalen Chaney listed several ways hotels can create size-inclusive amenities. I love it already. I want a mission to revolutionize the travel industry and make it a more accessible, accepting, accommodating place for all.

The needs of plus size travelers matter just as much as anybody else. And today I'm going to cover what we are looking for, accessible, size inclusive hotel amenities. Size inclusive hotel amenities are crucial for ensuring that plus size travelers feel welcomed. Accommodated and comfortable during the day. We deserve an environment that respects our needs and body diversity. These are the exact steps that we'll have to take to be more size inclusive and accessible for travelers

of all sizes. Number one on the list provides sturdy wider chairs without armrests. In guest rooms, lobbies and common areas to accommodate different body sizes and types. Number two on the list, ensure beds with strong support and a higher weight capacity. And along with providing reinforced chairs and wider backing facilities. Number three, make elevators and always spacious. To allow for easy moving out of water individuals and those utilizing mobility devices. Number 4.

Install grab bars and showers and near toilets. Offer adjustable handheld shower heads. And raise toilet seats for added accessibility. Number 5. Train staff to be respectful, understanding, and accommodating to travelers of all sizes. Number 6. Provide coolant and handles at the entry of the pool. This will allow for plus size guests and guests with different abilities to enjoy all

abilities. Number seven. Hotel riders have really seating options and 30 chairs ensuring that everybody can not come to late. Number eight. Offer larger beach and pool seating. Or provide oversized loungers and seating at the beach and pool areas. Along travelers of all sizes and abilities to be comfortable.

Oh! Number nine, hotels should provide size-inclusive bathrooms. Thank you, Zayl! To a size 6x and beyond. Oh! And hotels should also provide bath sheets or plus size-friendly towels, so that travers of all sizes and abilities can use them comfortably. And last but not least, this is an important one.

This way clear and accurate information on these amenities on hotel websites, include weight limits, seat dimensions, and things like that, and include information on the size, inclusive amenities available. That's what a set of travelers making form decisions. That's a lot. I think they do have things like this. They're called handicapped rooms. Where things are lower. Yeah. And they have safety bars. It's a big thing for handicapped people. Yeah. Here's the thing, right?

Watch this. By the way, okay, so while I watch this bullshit, let's see the hotels implement these changes and make like fatso rooms. Yeah. Just, hey, are you fat? We made special rooms for you. And then watch these fatsoes get upset and cry that they're being discriminated against because now they're making me stay in the

fatso room, right? No, I don't think that would be, I mean, they'd be like, are you changing me more to be in the fatso room? Yeah, it cost us more to get everything right. She's also, I mean, yeah, but she's also, she's basically asking for hotels to remodel the building and the, like, interiors. Yeah, it's like, it's a real crazy ask. I mean, it's too much.

Like, every, you know, there need to be more seats, hallways need to be bigger, elevators need to be bigger. You know, by all new furniture, how come this furniture can't hold 600 pounds? It's like, you know, yeah, it's just really the level of delusion. Also, this person feels like that, they're not just illusion about themselves, but that they're making an impact. Like, oh, what do I do? I'm an activist. I'm out there, you know, lobbying for the plus size community. You're wasting your time.

Just go back exercise. Put the fucking phone down and go walk. And also, like, just, okay, how about this? How about hotels just do fat rooms? Like I said, like a fat suite. Yeah. And you to pay a little extra because it costs them a fortune to make

steel reinforced beds and toilets with extra reinforcements. It's crazy. So you pay for that. Fuckin' eating fatty. That's all you need to do. Instead of like making buildings change their structure. Entire. Yeah.

So, so, so. You gotta be fuckin' retarded as fuckin' all the way. So while these historical hotels need to remodel, a total remodel for you to go there It's it's lunacy. Why don't they they should just hear what they should do Remember we said we should do fat airlines. Yeah, so then do your fat airline and then fat Heavy people hotels where everything is exactly as she wants and she can pay the premium to go stay there I mean, yeah, I don't I think we shouldn't accommodate at all at all. I think you know If you can't if if buildings are a, like we're not talking about a plane or

a building, this building isn't big enough, it's, you know, you need to like really check yourself. You can try and meet facts. So, could you imagine any other country, maybe Canada would listen to this insanity and be like, yeah, we need to do something. Canada is gay and retarded now. Oh my gosh, I love my motherland,

but they are really overbored. They're out of their fucking minds now. Now they're starting, podcasters are supposed to sign up to be like governed by the government. Now has to have you register your podcast with them so that the same rules they impose on Other communication mediums could be imposed on podcasts. It's fucking crazy. It is crazy. It's very scary. I don't like it. That's okay It's the beginning of then. Yeah, no good censorship. No good fucking crazy Canada. Yeah, well, they're gonna do this

They're gonna make fat rooms. All right, fat hotel. Yeah, I could see them doing that. For sure, they're like, oh, they need to have their own space, hey? You know, feeling cluedy, hey? It's fucking crazy. Did you even like my outfit? I am beatish.

That's what your fucking problem is. You're delusional and you're gonna beat it. I am beatish. Yeah. Hey, so you're fat, that's cool. Let's take a quick break. We'll be right back. Okay, bye.

Oh snap, they're letting Bl blondie do the intro today. That's how important these two are to me. I'm so pumped you guys to introduce Sarah Weinsteink and Kim Kongan of this bitch podcast. Oh, hi. Thank you for coming. We're fresh from Las Vegas. You guys literally flew from Skankfest here. I wouldn't say fresh, but yeah. We were there last night. How many days, how many days in Vegas? We were there from Thursday morning until last night. It's Monday. Oh wow.

Yeah. But it's like dog years, like one day seven. No, it is, it is. Any script of Vegas is like that, but especially if it's like, there's festival and there's friends and there's booze and there's acid. Listen, Tom and I are boring married parents. us all the drugs all the hookers all the fun story

Well shit got fucking crazy Look at me beyond shitty shit got crazy Things got wild Joe to roast up became gay. He's been gay, but publicly we came Well that he's saying he's not gay. He I don. He's been gay, but publicly became gay. Wow. Well, he's saying he's not gay. He, uh, I don't know what the story was. He got blown and jerked off a trans woman. Wow.

Backstage, I guess it's a perfect, for this episode. Yeah. I guess it was just a bit. Yeah, I'll be. You know how every gay man starts is with a bit. Um, but he went backstage. They were supposed to see if a trans woman could get him hard. Okay. And he didn't want to do it in front of people.

Then they went backstage and then he came back and he was like, I came. I came. Yeah, see, this is the game show that I want to do. Two seconds too long. But Tom, this is the game show I wanted to do. Like, can a trans person make you hard and come? That's so good.

That's so right. So are you gonna do K? Do K? Because we watched whole fucking country. Oh, the BBC wants to do it. BBC is a whole different. Yeah. So Jojo Roses now gay that's breaking news. Yeah, and then the whole time he kept being like, I'm not gay. Like she's a trans woman. He got like woke about it. Well, if she looks like this, then she is a woman. I mean, she's trans, but you know, she did.

She's not. Nothing close. I'll say it again, derosis gay. Yeah. I like when people are like, it's not gay, it's a trans woman. I'm like, it's kind of gay. It's like if gay was gay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

If you were gay and you're like, let's be freaky about this. Yeah, yeah. Maybe I think you know what it is. like, let's be freakier about this. Yeah, yeah. Like, horny. Maybe I think you know what it is. It's an introduction for a dude who doesn't know he's gay. That he's gay in a palatable way. So he's like, oh, this is like a easier way to digest the fact that I'm gay. It's the appetizing.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's so true. Yeah, I feel like it works the other way too. Which was boost. Like if a woman had a dick, that would be less scary for me than if she- I was gonna be out of a ginormous. Sure, I see what you mean.

Have you guys messed around with trans people ever? Like just bullying them online. Just kidding. Just kidding. So, okay, hold on. This is my troll every now and then. Kill yourself. Kill yourself.

So, I'm kidding. So there's the Dorosa story. You were teasing us before that you had other ones. What are the other ones? Sarah doesn't want me to sell this on air. Well, first of all, we also need to tell them about the Skinky Food menu. Yes. She's trying to avoid her story. I get it.

That's a good tactic. First of all, let's talk about how good the food was in Vegas. No, it is. I want to talk about Hawaii. She's trying to avoid her story. I get it. That's a good tactic. That's a good tactic. First of all, let's talk about how good the food was in Vegas. This is what I want to talk about Hawaii. She's trying to go back. Just tell us the story. Yeah, but you have to wait. Hold on. So the chicken fingers at the nugget are delicious.

Just thank you food many was funny. Like they did. They had this food menu and you had to, I mean, you're on acid. You're an artist seriously trying to take yourself seriously. You're like, I'm at a festival. I'm like getting paid for. This is a real.

The whole thing of comedy is like the whole time I'm like, please guys, it's for real. I feel like I'm convincing people to take me seriously. And then they put up this food menu. And it's like, you have to go up to these people as an artist and be like, I'll take a finger blaster. A chicken finger blaster. It was a chicken finger blaster.

There was a skanky double with cheese. Napoleon's pocket tauts. The names were in a warm pretzel. That was the menu. And you could go up to a counter and ask for this. You had to. That's the only way you could get food was in bears. That's amazing. That's amazing. That's amazing. That's amazing. How much fun though when you're high on acid to order these things. I mean, we did a bit with the menu. For a while. For too long, like just standing in front of it, saying the things and laughing on drugs.

And we're like, that's fun. Okay, now the stripper. Okay, we gotta do it. Okay, so we, what night was this? This was Friday night, we have a long, fucking night. As you guys can see, I haven't brushed my hair or like done anything.

Me too had a good time, yeah, this is good. Jacket smells like cum. Ew, ew, it's a minute, it was from when I crowdsurf, I'm sure someone came at me. That's also not her jacket. So the fact she just said it smells like cum. That's so weird. I'm kidding, too, whoever let me rest this jacket

for this podcast. But we go to the strip club. What were we doing before the strip club that we got so fucked up? What weren't we doing? It was really the question. I was like drinking wine. I was acting like I was like a rich woman on the yacht.

And I was like a crazy bitch at Skateflex. So we get on this party bus. It's 2.30 in the morning. They like get a bus for us. 2.30. They have a They like get a bus for us. 2.30. They have a, are they called little people? Mi J's. Yeah, French.

Mi J. Mi J. Mi J. And a hypopodermist suit waiting for us at a party bus. So we're like, this is gonna get crazy. I get on to this party bus and it's like, just like comedians, like sardines, like mentally ill to the max.

Like I ran into this girl, Tefee, who is like this pop culture, like incredible red carpet, like influencer girl. She's incredible and she was on the bus with her friends and they weren't comedians and they were like this. And you could see in finance like, oh, like sucking up Jordan Johnson, we're done and she has a dick. Sarah is like, oh, like sucking off Jordan Johnson. We're dening she has a dick.

Sarah's like upside down, like smoking a joint. It was like, it was like an SNL sketch. And so already then we get in and in Jamar's defense, my friend Tuffy is sitting with her friend. Who's this really beautiful black woman? And in Jamar's defense. Jamar neighbors. Jamar neighbors.

Very funny, very funny, extremely autistic. Yes. I'm so sick. He was on where my mom's defense. Jamar neighbors. Jamar's very funny. Very funny. Extremely autistic. Yes. He was on where my mom's at. He's the best. He goes, he brought a canvas on. He goes, I'm going to draw a case I get bored during this podcast. I'm like, thank you. Thank you so much, Jamar, a 30 minute podcast. So that's who he is. He'll say things like that without being like. So in his defense, the day before they did bring strippers from the club to promote at the shows. Okay. And one of the girls in the girl in the car did look alike.

One of the strippers in the black girl in the car. They did. They just did because it was the first thought when I got it was like, is that the girl from last night? She's just different. But I can say it because you don't. Yeah, you don't. You just don't.

You only do that way. Why people? Yeah. Aren't you Bob? Right. Right. You're I can say it because you don't, you don't, you just don't, you only do that way white people. Hey, aren't you Bob? Right, right, right. You can true, right? You don't wanna be a bad guy. So Jamar goes, aren't you a stripper? But it's Jamar saying this to this, immediate, to this black woman.

A black woman. The only two normal people in the party bus. Meaning not comics. And Sarah, we're all fucked up. I'm kind of sitting on Sarah's laps. Sarah's kind of on Jamar's lap. Like we're squashed in like, because it looks like Sarah and Jamar, it kind of sitting on Sarah's lap. Sarah's kind of on Jamar's lap. Like we're squashing like sardines.

So it looks like Sarah and Jamar together. It kind of looks like a weird orgy with all the comics at this point. We're all sitting on each other's lap. So Sarah's sitting with Jamar and it looks like they're kind of together. So when she says that, she's immediately offended. She's like, no, I'm not a fucking stripper.

Why would you say that Jamar's like, we're dressed like one. Then I'm sitting on his lap like the asshole. Yeah, so it looks like Jamar's like, we're your dress like one. Oh! They're upside down his lap! Like the asshole! Yeah, so she says, so it looks like Jamar and his girl. So then she's already pissed, the whole ride. I don't hear this, I don't know if this happens. We get to the strip club hanging out.

This girl's going off about Jamar. She's like, he called me a stripper, a fuck that dude. Oh, no. And then I was like, I go, he's a really nice guy, and there's no no. He's the best, he's one of the best guys ever. We look over and he is grabbing money

from the strippers and choking it back at them. And been pocketing a dollar so he could pretend he's pulling it out. And I was like, I, like the comedians are on their worst behavior. I felt like an embarrassed mother. Because I kept being like, they're fine. And I look over and they're like injecting black tar here.

And then Sarah, this is where she gets real. Okay. Well, who's on a lot of mushrooms. Sure. And in this, so fucked up, you're drunken on mushrooms. And you're so fucked up, she has like stacks of dollars in her hand. And she keeps dropping them. But it looks like she's stealing.

Because she keeps dropping her own money and then collecting it and then putting it. So I kept being like, hold your money, like this looks bad. So she dropped my money in this code. I leave her alone for two seconds. By the way, when you went to the ATM to get your money out, was one of the most insane things I'd ever seen.

She took so long to get money out of the ATM, it was like 25 minutes. You didn't have to come with me. There was a, you asked me too. You asked me to. You asked me to come with you. And then you sat there and gave me anxiety the whole time. There was a line of 17 strippers behind us, trying to entertain men longer while we waited for Sarah

to figure out her pin. Like, and you can remember it. I remembered it, but like putting it in was another story. She didn't think what she put it in, and then she'd choose like, never mind, and then she put it in again. And then she'd choose never mind to get, like she did like six times where I was like,

get it out, I was like screaming at her, and then I'd look behind me, and there'd be like a stripper, like trying her hardest to keep this man distracted before he didn't wanna be at the 18th again. Sure. And she was like, I really like it. And then I'm like, you're putting your,

so then I leave you alone. I come back and that black chick is fucking pissed. Oh, no. Wait, wait, wait, can I tell you first though? Yes. All of her friends keep coming up to me and they're like, we just want you to know that that guy that you're with, your boyfriend, he's a piece of shit.

And I was like... What? And I go... Tomorrow. Yeah, that's crazy. I'm not responsible for anyone's a piece of shit. And I was like, what? And I go. Tomorrow. Yeah, that's crazy. And I go, I'm not responsible for anyone with actions but my own. So if you have a problem with him,

then you can go talk to him. But also he's not my boyfriend. And by saying it, I mean, she cried it on mushrooms. I cried it. Because everyone was mad at me. That's like worst case scenario. It's such a diplomatic answer to someone being like, hey, you're like, I responsible for me and me only.

Yeah, I said that about both of you actually when this next thing happened. I was like, I'm not going to reparent comedians. Yeah, blame their parents. I'm fucked up too. Don't blame Stephen Debbie. Leave them out of it. This was 100% out of my fault.

Mom, it's all on your phone. 36. The way I behaved at the store club was unacceptable. OK, so then I come back and it's black Shakespeare's. And I go, what happened in my friend Tuffy goes? Sarah touched her hair. Oh, yeah, add the don, don, don, don't. What do you do? I never touched a black woman's hair.

I never touched a black woman's hair. On mushrooms, I could see you doing it differently. You know how I'm doing it differently? Yeah. I did one of these. I was scrubbing rubb is what I call it. She scrubbed it rubb. I'm so sorry.

She scrubbed her hair. I'm so sorry. The girl you got called a stripper by her boyfriend. She goes over. Not only does she do that, she's so black out. She rubs her hair The girl sitting there like pissed off and then I see the second part then Sarah goes and grabs their shame pain bottle pours Her self-foot glass black out drunk She leaves her $200 on the table like I've been telling her not to do all night and then she grabs it

And they think that she took the $200 and she walks away and hands half of her own money to Jamar so it looks like she Jamar called this girl stripper. Yeah, Sarah the ATM line, pissed off all the other strippers, went back, rubbed her hair, poured some champagne, took their cash, and then gave the rest to Jamar. And then cried. Procedure to cry. And then cried the rest of the night at the strip club till they sent her home. And then I went to the deli.

I was like, fuck this, I'm going to the deli. A BLT is the only thing that can save me. Yeah. I went to the deli. I was like, fuck this, I'm going to the deli. A BLT is the only thing that can save food. And then I cried into the BLT and some lot, because then I woke up. I kept getting calls from Sarah all night being like, it's not fair to me. I could hear the fucking food in her mouth.

Well, so what possessed you to reach out and do the move? I was like, I'm really, really sorry. You just want to comfort. Yeah, and I was running. You wanted to connect. I was gonna cry again. I can feel it. I know I felt really bad.

Like, I did. What kind of hairstyle was it? Yeah, yeah, black. Well, yeah, but I mean, like, it was just like, this was black. It was just like a hair. It was just like a matter. It was just like long hair.

It was just long, long, long, long, straight. And you went and you just touched her hair. I apologize. Show us on camera. Yeah, show us how you did it. you just touched her hair. I apologize show us on Yeah, show us how you do it. Yeah, let's see. I'm so sorry Really like that and then she gave it a little Squeeze it like it was a titty. I think you give it a little a little comfort scratch Yeah, you know, you go to comfort you go to comfort scratch someone and sir Can I just say sorry? I'm not leaving the house

I'm so like I have so much sympathy for you because I've... She's talking. Sorry, it's the black girl calling me. Yeah. Sorry, I gotta take, I'm just kidding. Yeah. That's my mom.

Oh, no. So I have to tell you that, like, I've known it when people have hated me. Like, you know, sometimes just in public, they fucking hate you. Oh, I have a perfect time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is my, if I were drunk or high, I would have cried. I was at the comedy store. It's just so you know, just so you feel better about yourself. This is a comedy

store in the OR. I'm getting ready to go up. And I've been doing this for years. We're whoever standing next to me, whoever the fuck it is, what man, woman, dog, cat, fatso, weirdo, whatever. I just kind of touched someone and I go, Hi, how you doing? Yeah, I did that too. How you feeling? Yeah, yeah. Okay, so I did it in the OR last time I was in LA.

And I go, Hi, how you doing? How you feeling? And he goes, don't touch me? Who is this? A comedian? No, just like a person, a customer. And he goes, don't touch me. And I thought he's joking.

And then he goes, no, really? Stop touching me. And I was like, oh my god. And I felt so bad, like how what you're talking about? Where I was like, oh my God, and I felt so bad, like what you're talking about where I was like, did I just, like, I'm a pervert and I violated somebody's boundaries and that's never happened before.

No, I totally did. Stop making me feel bad. Fucking dick. So staying with her. But here's the main thing. You both said the difference is she assaulted a black woman. So it's basically a hate crime. Yeah Hate crime at the club. Yeah, but I felt bad about it for weeks like I I know

Yeah, I didn't because you're gonna be horrible because you're like this especially now in the culture of like Consent and like I'm gonna be thinking tanky-danky and I've been doing it for 20 years Especially if it's a boy. It's a guy. He's like what's up, dude? Like that's usually kind of a pussy. What's the only thing? Or artistic and artistic pussy. Yeah, an autistic pussy, the worst kind. But I know I've done so many dumb things. Yeah, it was dumb.

No, but that was a key. I keep my hands to myself now when I go to the strip clips. Hands in my pockets or the behind my back like I'm in a nice gift shop. You know how hard it was to apologize for my friends while getting a lap dance? I'm like a nice gift shop. You know how hard it was to apologize for my friends while getting a lap dance? I was like, sorry. Lalalala, they're on it in trouble. Lalalala. Lalalala.

I did that once. I didn't do the same thing, but I was thought I was being playful. I was going on, I was on the show at Melrose, and it was, I mean, this was like more than 10 years ago, and Pablo Francisco was standing on the stair above me. So he was now higher. And he leaned on my shoulder, which was like,

actually, like, when it's happened, you're like, actually, this is like, it's cool that he's doing that. And I thought I was being joky. I go a little familiar, right? Like, you're getting a look. But I was, I thought I'm saying it like, yeah, and you're like, shut the fuck up. And he was like, I'm so sorry. And then like, proceeded to not talk. And then I was like, no, no, no, I thought I'm saying it like, yeah, and you're like, you shut the fuck up. And he was like, I'm so sorry.

And then like proceeded to not talk. And then I was like, no, no, I meant that like joking. Yeah, yeah. And like once you're down that path, you're like, I fucked up, you know? Yeah, a lot of people, I feel like I do that to people. Right, and you're like, I'm joking. I like mean, but then I don't smile or laugh it,

but I'm one hundred percent kidding. But that's why he's funny. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, but sometimes she's just me. No, no, no, she's just cries. Yeah. I'm not, I'm one that's why it's funny yeah yeah yeah no but sometimes she's just me no I'm not she's just cries yeah I'm not I'm never actually me well we call each other mama and mommy because well you're the official clean mommy of course I'm the main mommy you're the main mommy yeah we're just mama and mommy little mommy it started from a bit that we spend so much time together that we're like old country marry. Yeah.

Mama, mommy. Yeah, like, you know. I'm scared, Mama. Can you help me? Mommy's gotcha, but. Tell me if you think this is mean. So this was at, I think this was at fashion week. Oh, you need your headphones.

Oh yeah, you need to put your headphones on for this. And this, this is all kind of on camera. I guess the man in this video is works for the place, or he's a PR, and he's part of the event. And the woman he's talking to was in line to get into the event and was like, apparently rude to somebody. Okay.

You know. So you're from Canada, so you don't fucking know. Oh, I love it. You're not welcome because I don't fucking know He is me I feel like he doesn't I wish you were the passive aggressive. He's me. He's me when I argue. Right? Yeah. Totally logical.

Dude, he grossed the fuck out of her Never argue with a gay guy No, this guy's savage. Yeah, Queens know how to fight. Yeah, I wish that I was friends with him And honestly like that like he can know in that scenario He can take anyone. I don't care who you are He'll work your ass. He's ready for that. See this is old school gay These are the gays that got bullied and teased growing up I know let's go

These are the gays that don't call themselves queer people. Correct. Those are the old school This is this is the guy that has a partner. You're allowed to call your gay boyfriend partner. This is what I like. When they're scrappy and then give a fuck and they tell you what's up. God, I wish I had this much ounce of that confrontational gene. I got into a fight with a waitress at the casino,

trying to skank Fesson in front of fans and it looked like I was being a bitch to wait stuff. And I am kind of a bitch, but I never mean to let people know that I'm a bitch. No, yeah, try to be as nice as I can. But this fucking, can I say it? Cunt, yeah. That was a hard tea there.

It's just a tea and a hard tea. I'm playing Crap's, mining in my own business. High on acid for him. God. So thirsty that no one year on drugs and you start to get thirsty and it starts to become a paranoia.

I think that like die if you don't drink long. You're a warrior. I'm starting to feel like that and there's like fans around and I'm like, it's fine, stay calm. Someone's gonna come around. I wait like 25 minutes. No.

Finally I see her. Her fucking clout ass goes straight over to TJ Miller to ask him if he wants to drink first. So I just run over to her so I don I see her. Her fucking clout ass goes straight over to TJ Miller to ask him if he wants to drink first. So I just run over to her so I don't miss her. Like I run around the table to her. I guess that's bad etiquette. You're supposed to wait and they go to each person. But I didn't know and she had taken so long.

So I just run over and I like stand there and she turns around and I go, hi. And she goes, I don't like this. Oh. And I was like, what? And then the dealer was like, oh, you have to wait, she'll come around. And I look at her and I was like,

you could have been nicer about it. She was like, was I rude? I was like, you don't know that that was rude, are you unaware? You didn't know that that was rude and she looks like, well, I'm sorry. And I go, okay, be more pleasant. Because you're not like, I didn't say this. I'm sorry. And I go, okay, be more pleasant.

Because you're not like, I didn't say this. I said this after I whipped away, but I'm like, you're like 50. So you have to be nice. You're not a hot chick serving drink. That's right. The only thing you have is to be nice to me. So then I was, and she was like, I'll come over to you.

So I go over and now I'm fuming, because she like did that. And she comes over and now it just looks bad on my end, because the people on my end of the table don't know what happened, but I'm gonna be a bitch now. So then she comes over and now it just looks bad on my end because the people on my end of the table don't know what happened. But I'm gonna be a bitch now. So then she comes over and she goes, can I get you something to drink and without moving, I went water.

I just kept playing poker. I was done and the fans were like, so there's probably a reddit threat that I mean to serve her. Sure. Yeah, but the thing is, like somebody getting a half the story. Yeah, that's most of everything.

Yeah, most of everything's like that. Kim dressed up as her like somebody getting a half the story. Yeah, that's most of everything. Yeah, most of everything Kim dressed up as her ex-boyfriend at the festival. I did Sk Gomez What did you wear for that? Well the thing is Lewis is He's he's gotten into when I met Lewis and we're first dating he his lamp next to his bed was sitting on a cardboard box He had no money. This guy too, yeah. I mean, I don't look, yeah, look at you.

You stuck around, I couldn't do it. Right. Good for you. You guys are together a long time, right? Or am I wrong? We were together for like three years. That's a pretty good one. Yeah, we lived together and stuff.

And he was a lot different than he is now. Now he has money and he's like this new. He's like, you know, you know, you guys know what it is. Money changes everything. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I've been doing this character as old Lewis before he had money when he didn't care. Lewis K. Gomez and it has been very fun.

How's your guys like relationship? Obviously you're at his, that's his festival, right? So you guys have a good rapport still. It was so bad when we first broke up and like so public and crazy that we had to make it a bit to play it off. Like at one point where like we have to become friends and like do something because this is like embarrassing.

Yeah. And so we, it took a long time after we broke up, a couple of years for us to become friends. There was a lot of, I mean, my last podcast I did, I was reading emails when we blocked each other to a country song, and the emails were like, I can't believe we are on the plane and you yelled, detain her!

Detain her! Like, we would get in a huge public fight and it took a long time, but now it feels like he's more of an ex-husband than an ex-boyfriend. You guys have been through it a lot. A lot, a lot. So it's a good thing that you guys are in a good place. Yeah, and even out of this festival, I have my own segment called Kimfest. It's the first day of the festival.

Because originally when we first became friends, I was still kind of hostile. And I was like, I tweeted, should I start a festival in Vegas the day before Louis's? It's great. And then that became like the idea for Kim Fessel. So every year, I got the festival the first day is my festival. That's awesome. And so it worked out really well. We get along really well and we're actually like,

really good business partners together. That's great way. We're actually hoping a man screws me over so I can get my own. I'm going to call it shankfest. I love it. Right next to skankfest. I love the alimony. I love skankfest.

Yeah. Yeah. So are you dating anybody? Are you guys, I know you're always out. No. No. Actually, I met a kind of a hot guy at the festival in the green room. Okay.

He was working. He was, he was, he's a comic. Oh. But I didn't know him. You never met him before. I never met him before, but I didn't know he's a comic. He was instantly thought he was attractive. That's a good sign.

That's a good sign. That's a rare thing. Second thing I noticed after I found him attractive, call a flower ear. I'm in. Oh. She plays jujitsu. She plays jujitsu.

Yeah, so is he a, is he? He's jujitsu, She plays jujitsu. So is he a... He's jujitsu. He does jujitsu. And then he's an engineer. Or a great liar. And then he was really hot. I met him in the green room, Skankfest,

and then I hit on him. Like a big girl. And then we went to dinner and meet out. Oh, nice. That's good, right? That's good start, yeah. And then he's almost perfect besides the fact that he does stand out.

Yeah. Yeah, that's... Does he live there? Yeah. In Vegas? Yeah. Okay. That's close to LA.

That's close. I thought that bad news. I need to live in Vegas. Right. That is a weird... Of course. Living in Vegas. But he's an engineer for the city of Vegas. Okay, okay.

Is he raised in Vegas? I don't know. Okay, if you're from Las Vegas. No, I'm from Ohio or Idaho. That's the same thing to me. Yeah, outside of LA doesn't matter. Yeah. If you're from Albuquerque or Las Vegas,

I think those are two very weird places to be from. Albuquerque is a good, weird one. You're right. So weird. In Alaska the Kirk. He is a good, weird one. You're right. So weird. In Alaska. Oh, Alaska. That's a whole other culture. I've never met someone from Alaska.

I don't know what the hell happened to you there. Not enough sunshine in Alaska. Yeah, they're in the dark for like 90 days, like a weirdo. That's a weird place. It's weird to live in Alaska. And I have to admit, I know what, too. I get weird vibes when I go to high.

I don't even know what Iowa is. What about I don't know how. I just find it. Been there once. Yeah. Very rural, rural, rural, rural. Rural, rural. Oh, very nice.

Country. Is that where shopboys? No, there's no Ohio. Ohio. Yellow Springs Ohio, yeah. Yeah. What if I said rural like that too, because that's how we learned how to say it at a rural.

Rural, rural. Sarah and I went to the same old girls high school, just a million years apart, because I'm a million years older than her. You're not a million years older. Isn't that crazy? We had some of the same teachers. Yeah, but I think that's why you became-

Maybe you're both oldest fuck then. You were both the same age. Let's both. But I think it meant that's why you're cool, because you weren't raised. When you go to an old girl's school, you're basically a dude, you're free. Because you're not trying to impress anybody,

you're just being you in those formative years. Yeah. I don't know, did you go to a single-sex school? No. But you're just butch as fuck, and I love it. I love it, you do. I love it. You're a dude, like you've got, I went to all-girls school vibes.

You do jujitsu, that's pretty cool. I do everything super manly. What else do you do? I serve skateboard. Oh, she can fix anything and hang things out. I finish, I camp. Why is this? Do you have brothers?

No, I don't have brothers. You're Puerto Rican. I'm Puerto Rican too, I didn't get that. Yeah, I don't know what it is. I don't know. Maybe I'm the trans one. Maybe your trans? Maybe I'm trans.

That's so cool. This is my trans coming out, sorry. This is my best friend. She's not in binary. Oh, they're non-binary. Yeah, I'm a thing now. No, what do you do all those things you think? I've just always really naturally been into them when I was younger.

But you're also in your, and it attracts you when men are like that too. So you're actually doing the things that you're attracted to. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I have a question for you. Would you cold plunge? Yeah. We're gonna do it maybe today or tomorrow. Why, do you have one here?

Not here. Not here. Tom cold plunge. Really? I think I need to after skiing fast. I can't feel my butt. Well, you feel good, yeah. We're gonna go cold plunge following this.

Yeah, there's a place here that's great. Yeah. You know where to go? Yeah. Okay. We don't wanna go to plunge following this. Yeah, there's a place here that's great. Yeah. You know where to go? Yeah. Okay. I don't want to go to your guys' place, you're fucking rich place. Please, I hate when rich people tell me where to go.

I'm like, okay, cool. No, no, no. I'll do my $70,000 cold plunge. No, no, no. We're gonna go to San Antonio. I'll send you to a very accessible place. Tell them we're coming and you know. Yeah, yeah, definitely.

Yeah, it's fucking, yeah, I've always liked stuff like that. And she can hang things and fix things. It's crazy. But I don't like to do that stuff. But I don't like to do it either. I don't like stuff. I don't like to. The thing that sucks about my whole thing is,

I like all those things and the note you made is, but I've also attracted to that. So I feel like when I find a guy, they think that I'm in a relationship I wanna be manly. And I'm like, no, I don't, yeah. I like to do all those things, and then when I'm dating someone, I'm like, I can't lift or like,

I don't even wanna look ahead of me when I'm walking. I just wanna follow you. So you. I like it, I like that Tom is masculine energy, and the woman can relax into it. You have enough going on as well, I take care of the kids, I take care of the, and relax into it. You're not all you have enough going on as well. I take care of the kids. I take care of the and to know that he's got me covered you're like okay that part of my brain the survival part

is free. That's that's it. That's what you need. The perfect I think like summary of our relationship is right here. Yeah. How's your wound doing? I'm doing it. Oh. She a little crampy, but she's cute. You love her so much. Ew. Ew. Can I make you some warm tea or cacao?

I decided to make you both cacao for your magnesium levels. I would have been like, you called me a cow? Red raspberry leaf, ginger and nettle for your hormones. Oh, this guy's such a Such a fucking thing that's fucked up. It's Seem me ending up with one of those. Yes. That's the kind of guy Sarah like because you like these sensitive man bun types Tell me more about my warm. Oh my my warm wound daddy. This this gets you going. Yeah She likes these guys. I like a new age

Quack but I mean this specifically is this okay. She would like that. I like a new age quack. But I mean, this specifically, is this okay? She would like that kind. I mean, you would like that kind. No, no, no. I would not like it if he started asking about my womb. Unless I was pregnant, then I'd be like, yes. Yeah. Ask me more about my womb.

Just me more about my womb. That's it. Oh no. No, no, no, no, that's it now. That's it now. That's it now. Almost pregnant. Not the hop.

Your womb bladder. What? a nice one. Almost forgot. Not the hop. You're a home batter. Look at what? Oh, what? And you're CBB. Well, I can't gas. But why is she making money noises? I'm not sure if we can laugh. Bless your bleed.

Listen, here's the thing you have to remember. This is all an angle. This guy's full of shit. And every guy that does this is just working an angle that works for him. Does she have period blood on her forehead? Yes. And if she makes art with it, I went down there rabbit hole. Hold on, but listen, sir. My husband's giving you now where to. This is the downside of going to an all-girls' Catholic school. Is that you're not familiar with man's normal male being in.

We all are picking an angle. Every guy that comes at you, sometimes those guys that come at you with the, I could just be your friend. He's not trying to be your friend. No, guiding. He's not trying to be your friend. Then there's the guy who's like, I'm really in touch with every ounce of emotion. You're like, well, this guy's like,

I like this. He's still in angle. It's all about getting late, always. Then there's a super aggressive guy. All those are just angles at that. That guy knows how to work, you know? So like the super feminist guy, you're like, this guy's on my side.

No, he's not. They're never feminist. It's all a fucking act. And it could defend someone that's in the middle. We have views on both sides. And they're like, now when we go on dates, we got to call Kristina and Tom. I would love this.

And ask, tell them what happened and ask them what they think. Well, it's like, here's the thing. Like anything, the one, like the believable, the real thing is when someone is balanced, right? So it's like someone who's, if they're like putting the hard sell on their feminism, that's fucking full of shit. If they're the opposite, if they're like hardcore,

you know, they're kind of broken. But if they're like selling it, you know, they're broken. They're trying to, yeah. Too much. Can be this guy or Andrew Tate, maybe in between. Yeah, because that basically that just shows you that the person has some balance to them, you know. Slot me in the face, then take care of my wife.

There you go, some balance, baby. That's what you want, that's exactly right. I guess, yeah, I guess choke me and then take care of my wife. There you go. Choke me in the last call balance. But how much, how little do you want your man involved in your period? Like I can't repel him enough.

Oh please, I want him gone. Yeah. I want a year, like didn't they used to put women in menstruation? That's amazing. Put me in a year with an AC and a comfy couch. That's all of it's needs. And a heating pad and some.

See you in a week. couch, that's all of it's needs. And a hating pad and some way. You in a week. Yeah. But also we talked about low tea kings, Sarah Weinstein. Can I? I like a low tea king. See that's that's the next phase. But I think that might work.

She's significantly older than you. I'm significant. I'm about 40 years old. But maybe, maybe that's what maybe we could look there now for you. Cause I feel like if you want to, but you want a baby, you want a baby daddy. Maybe it's that low tea king. He's in his 50s. He's settled. That's what maybe we could look there now for you. Cause I feel like if you want a baby, you want a baby daddy, maybe it's that low T-king, he's in his 50s, he's settled. That's what I want.

There's plenty of options for you. Plenty of options, he's divorced, he's already learned those lessons from first-age. Are you putting this out in the university? Are you putting this out in the university? I feel like every podcast, if my husband's out there and you're listening to me, I'm like sleepless since the out of every time

I do a podcast. I'm like if you're six, two big dick, a nice job, decent money, good personality, don't embarrass me. I have no dirt underneath your finger. No dirt. Just disgusting. Wash your hands before you finger me.

Unless you're keeping it panic and they wash it at the end of the day before they finger you. A mechanic would be hot. I'm a mechanic. I need someone who can fix my shit. I dated a mechanic and it was hot. Yeah.

I would go to his house and he would do it at his house, and I would sit in the driveway and drink under an umbrella, and he would just work shirtless in his car. You loved it. He would drink underneath an umbrella while he fixed your car. That's my dream, I don't want to call him.

I don't want to. That's my dream. On your elephant. Oh, well, that's exciting. I hope you find your low T king. I want to hope you find your masculine T king. I hope you find your masculine Mechanic my masculine mechanic. You feel like this should be easy to set both of you up. I know You're so desirable. You would think that someone for either of us. Wait, look. This is gonna find you someone Yeah, I think you girls are perfect. You guys have like two thousand three thousand people listening easily

Yes, you guys have at least 50 people is 50 men You guys have at least 50 people. 50 men. Yeah, at least 50. You guys, yeah. Can I tell you, but you guys are in the sweet spot of society, your age, I find. Like, you're not in that whole Gen Z crybaby bullshit of like, my pronouns, the world is unfair. I don't want it work for leaving. You guys are millennials?

Yeah, we're like not racist and not woke. Exactly. We're like right in between. Perfect place to do. That's the perfect summary of your age group. Not racist. That's it. Yeah, I like this. I mean, I would say mostly not woke for me, but I would say.

And I think everybody will smoke. We're not being feeling bad. Yeah, you can tell she's woke by her apology right now. You're still upset about touching the ladies hair. That's why I mean, are you going to change? It was my 9-11. I felt like I told, I told, you guys, I told Ian and Kim that I felt like Larry David and then Ian finance good.

Because Larry David was well liked. I said, I start crying again. Yeah. You started crying and you're like, it hurts my feelings. Wait. It just fuck your feelings, dude. And she was like, okay, I'm crying again. Yeah. You started crying. You're like, it hurts my feelings. It does fuck your feelings, dude. And she was like, okay, I'm walking away. What's the toe story? Oh, how'd you hear about the toe?

You said it. I'm glad you asked what the toe story is. Okay. So Kim, at Kim Fest, there is like the special segment. Her and Hormos Rashidi have this dating show. The comedy dating show. It's called the comedy dating show and they've done it at the comedy store a few times and they did it at Skankfest.

And the whole set up is basically like, win a date with Kim. It's win a date with whoever's the person, but at Skankfest it was win a date with Kim Kongden. And then we have eight comedians. They each come up and do two minutes of stand up. I'm blindfolded, so I don't know who's who, which is funny, because it's like Ian doing a different voice, and it's clearly Ian.

That's adorable. And then they do a Q&A segment, and then there's a thing. But in the middle of it, we were like, well, it's not really fair that all these fans came to see me and no one got a chance to go on a date with me, so we pulled up a random fan. And obviously he doesn't have a stand-up set to do for the bit. So we're like, what can you do to impress me?

And he gets on stage with a mic and he kind of panics. And he's like, I, I would, and this is like a packed room. He's like, I would suck on every part of your body. I'd suck your tits, your ass, your pussy. And everybody's like kind of like, ugh. Yeah, and I had these house shoes on that I wore to skank fest. I bought house shoes just to wear there. It's my feet hurt

And I'd been wearing them for like three days and they were like brown on the inside and like you know when they're fuzzy It's like hot and Vegas my feet were like sweating in them and I was like suck my toe And he did it was bad. There was lint on my toe And picking it off I want to see. Can we find that video? Yes, Sarah has it. I have it. Do I need to check it out?

Did you guys, did you go on a date? Like did he win a date? We went on a date. Oh yeah, yeah, okay. No, he didn't win. He didn't win. He didn't win. He didn't actually win the whole thing.

He was the funniest of the whole. Well, he didn't. Yeah, and then we went on a date to a raider room and smashed stuff. Oh, that's cool. We got content of a bunch. Did raider rooms there? Yeah. That sounds awesome. We got content of stuff. They have rage rooms there? Yeah.

That sounds awesome. We had our own shit in outfits and then we aggressively made out and then we cried on the floor for the video. Oh, fun. Yeah, you do need a rage room. Yeah. Yeah, you get so fierce on a date. That's called a man-yirt.

I know, you're a gym. You're a paradise. That's me and Ian. Do you scroll to the video? That's like, oh yeah, that's awesome. Oh, how fun. Dude. Yeah, it was fucking awesome.

That was our date. That sounds so fun with it. Why don't we do that, we're going to Vegas. It's a really good date. Yeah. It's a really good date. It's very fun and then you can get this footage. It's very fun.

So the guy sucks my toe, I sold socks at SkankFest. Oh, wait, that's my foot. Off my feet. Off your feet. Off my feet. I was giving freshies. If you bought a sock, I'd take my freshie and take the one that was on.

If you go to my. Wow. Wow. Well, that's an, I've always said that on the show. If you can sell feet picks or sell your dirty underwear or your dirty socks, this is Luke.

Yeah, I'm a huge advocate. This is where you're at. Yeah, you can see Lewis K in the background there, making his appearance. Wow. Also, if you go to my Instagram, I have to toe sock on my page. Yeah. Oh, look at us. Look at us.

We're so cute. I think like I'm selling real estate. Yeah. You really do. You know what? I mean, you just turned me down for a while. I mean, one more customer. So happy.

I got to change this look. This is not good. You look like you just said my credit wasn't good enough to buy a home. But I'm willing to meet with you again next year. Yeah. And then, yeah, I got my toes up. I sold this.

Go down. It was a really good one. Click on that one with Stan Hope, the first picture. Go through it. That's the hip-hop. That's the hip-hop from the start. Oh, here. Right here.

You can see. Wait, go back. I need to pull ithop from the start of the day. Oh, here, right here. You can see, wait, go back. In the beginning of the video, you can see Steve Rana's easy point out to soda that my feet are gross. Oh wait, it didn't start over, but. Shit. Yeah. Good for him. He's probably rock hard, you don't even know it.

I did. He came up to me after, he's like, I'm not even in defeat. Look at Rana's easy point to soda. Yeah. He's like pulling the fuzz off. He came up and he was like, your'm not even into feet. Look, it ran as easy point to so he's like, oh, he's like pulling the fuzz off. He came up and he was like, your toes weren't that bad. Oh, like, oh. Yeah, he did say that.

He was a sweet boy. Yeah. He's sweet guy. He's into you. You can tell. Yeah, he likes you. That might be my guy. That could be your guy.

No, I don't know. I mean, I mean, I don't think that's your toes at a common place. Well, no shoes. I don't think that's your house. I mean, he's a gamer. You got to give him credit. He's really, he really down for whatever. Yeah, I'm also a gamer. If you're out there and you're one of those guys in my description and you like playing video games, we could do that too.

Do you play video games? No. You should see them again. We're at very opposite from each other. A PC system. You don't even know what I'm saying. You're an Oculus thing. No.

What? What? It's the most. One of the... Yeah, but it's the most. Yeah, but it's the most. It's the most. It's the most.

It's the most. It's the most. It's the most. It's the most. It's the most. What you don't know for fucks say another Oculus thing. Oh, what a seat? It's the most one of the yeah, but it's that it's the it's the fucking What do you need it? We need to get our shocking podcasts like listen to our podcast this bitch I need a video game. No, I'm saying we need to get a gamer. I'm saying we need to get our podcasts growing so we could buy things Well, what is what what is he even, what was he talking about? He's talking about rich people getting video games. I looked over at you and he went like this

and he goes, yeah, what is that? Yeah, this is nerd code. Yeah, this is, this is dry pussy code. As soon as I said, I like video games and he said you should see what I'm getting. I knew what it was. This makes my pussy so dry. It's gonna be more dry.

Yeah, video games. That's the horror. Yeah, I just want to, I just want to, I just want to, video games for me. It's just my kryptonite. It's gonna be more dry. Yeah, video games. That's the horror. Yeah, video games for me, it's just my kryptonite. I can't do it. Kim, I don't know. I think you could actually get into it. I can't, I don't, this is not, my brain doesn't work this way. It doesn't eat you joy.

I'm too anxious for it. I get fucking frazzled. I get anxious. It gives me odd, I don't like it. You know what though? Kim and I got grills and we were were thinking next to me or in LA, you should come get grills. I would love to get a grill.

Would you get a grill? I got veneers, so I'm afraid when they touch your teeth. What you can get it on one day, you don't have, we'll figure it out. Okay, I would love to do it. Yeah, mine.

She excited for you, oh no. God, what is this? Look at the TVs, or like, Oh Jesus Christ. Oh, we got to do absolutely nothing for me. Oh.

Okay, you wanna hear the coolest part though? The price? Can I say the coolest part though? That you can or... Is it an egg? Is it an egg? You can switch between any type of car, any type of track, then go to helicopter and then give you all the,

and then go into planes and even jets. I'm in. Say no more. Look, if you want a data strike, I, this is what you have to deal with, is like, they're straight guys. Maybe I'll just stick with a low T-lake. I know.

Kind of gay with a gay boy. You love a buy. What you like buy this? Yeah, I'm open. If you like gays and buys, you'll definitely like this. Nine-foot sculpture plan for a Palm Springs Park. Mentor remember last lost HIV and AIDS, but the design doesn't resonate with everyone.

In fact, some are calling it a clux-like-a-bop. And the committee charge says that now. Yeah, okay, no. It's the proposed A-Zivorial sculpture, raising hundreds of thousands of dollars in the community, stirring up controversy not the asshole. They should have made the whole big concentric car circles meant to represent the diverse community impacted by eight.

No, it's not. It is. It's a Danish. It's a I level opening, but it's not seen by everyone that way. You guys are dirty minds. It's a donut. Two abstract. It's an asshole.

It's a donut. It lays donut. Yeah. It's an asshole. It's a donut. It glays donut. Yeah, there's nothing abstract about that. I see exactly what it is. Yeah, I know what it is. Dude, that's how everybody got eights. That's the right answer. Do you walk through this and you get eights?

That's the message. They should have put eights in the middle. Yeah. It's like a mister, you know, when you walk through a mist. Yeah. It's just pain at red and brown coming out. Maybe the ribbon or something. So we know what it's for. Where would they put the ribbon?

Maybe around the hole. Yeah, like in through like a Christmas ornament. Decorate the hole with a ribbon. Yeah, they should put a butt plug in it. Oh, that'd be sweet. That'd be fun. And then it could be like a swing and you can... That'd be red.

An interactive gay hole. A teeter totter. An interactive gay hole. Yeah, I don't know why the gays are upset about. Are the gays upset or the straights? It's always like, who's upset? Probably the straights. I don't know, maybe the gays are upset about this one.

I don't know, I have a gay sister and she would not like this. You know how people get like that? Yeah, yeah. I have a gay cousin who had AIDS and he would be rolling around in his grave if he knew this is how you're celebrating AIDS. Celebrating AIDS?

Celebrating AIDS. This is our joyous festival for AIDS. If he knew the way you were just celebrating it. Did you bring the AIDS cake? Put down your party blowers, guys. Did you send out the RSVPs for the AIDS party? Not the confetti gun at the AIDS party. We miss AIDS.

We miss AIDS. We miss AIDS. The good old days, we all had something to fear. That's right, now. Yeah, what do we fear now? I mean, not AIDS. I'm not afraid of any of these. Get up and go after AIDS.

Yeah. I'm kind of a Muffer to Zika. I don't want to be a little head. That's just scary. But that's only in Latin America, right? Zika vibes. I don't know, I think I little head that's just scares me. But that's only in Latin America, right? Zika vibes? No, I think I knew someone that is Yiki. Really?

A little Zika. A little Zika. A little baby. Zika would be a good name for a Zika baby. I know. That's so cute. So cute. No, you can't call a baby.

You can't name a baby after their disorder. You can't do that. This is my son, Downs. This is my daughter's stubs. This is my daughter, Stubbs. She doesn't have an arm. Come here, Stubby. But do you agree it's time to end this typo, this crazy and so-called women?

And look at the women in the movement. Nobody want them anyway. I think they mad because no one want them. They're like, let's be honest. They're fat, ugly, short hair no one want them. They're like, let's be on their back. I believe in short hair. Nobody warned them. I think they mad about that.

I don't even agree. No, we wouldn't. Sorry, I think we're talking past each other. Oh, you mean? This guy asked me to do his podcast. This guy did? Yeah, and I said no at first, because I didn't know who he was. And now, and then I wanted to,

and now I don't want to again, because I'm like, I'm scared I'll agree with everything he said. I'm scared that I will just look as bad as he does. I'm like, yeah, maybe that's why no one wants you. Like, what kind of straight man wants a girl with short purple hair? Sorry, if you're a man and you want a date of chick with bald hair, just go fuck a dude.

Yeah. Go fuck a dude like you really want to. What if she had a really pretty face? Go fuck a man. I agree, they don't really like that, right? Like pixie cuts. You want a man with a pretty face? You want a fucking trans dude?

Yeah, okay. Okay, my B, my B. Go fuck a man if you want a fuck a woman with a shaved head. I'm getting on your side, mama. But are there any hot feminist feminists? Do you know anyone that are just rad? Some of them start out hot, but then something happens. Something happens.

Yeah, because I'm trying to think like... It's like when you eat oatmeal too many days in a row. Yeah. Who's hot, who's a hot feminist that I like and they're all not? But you're like, would you say you're a feminist? I used to be. I would say I was and then now I'm like, I'm and they're all not. But you're like, would you say you're a feminist? I used to be, I would say, I was. And then now I'm like, I'm not sure what that means. I'm actually a true feminist.

What's that one? This is what I'm a true feminist. When I'm like, I truly, well, I don't believe in us being like not equality, but what's the other one? That's like, where you make it? In equality? No. Would it equity be the right way?

Oh, okay. Where it's like like not everything has to be the same But there are situations where this person should get this and this person should get this right to make them even hmm so With being a feminist I'm like yeah, I'm like I I Don't know I'll tell you what I should do the work and we should relax and have the age. That's what I'm saying. I'm sorry.

That's the fuck I'm saying. Because I used to be very like, I could do whatever Tom does. I want to be a female comic, I'm equal, even women, women. And then I had kids. And I was like, I'm too sock-entire to do the same shit that I did. I want to stay home. We've set it before. We want to breastfeed by a river.

Yeah. I'm sorry. And you should be like some strawberries at by a river. Yeah. I'm sorry. And you should be like some strawberries at the same time. Yeah, and be able to do it without being shamed because you're not out there making an income. I think the flaw of feminism is that we make success and what's considered good on a male spectrum.

Right. You're successful only in so much as you are male success, which is career, life, external world. But that's not what really fulfill some women. No, we just wanna like brush each other's hair. Making babies, staying in my menstruation year. And, you know. Sorry, I can't hang out.

I'm in the yoga bag. You're in it up. So you're in a week, hi, Matt. Yeah, no, you're right. I agree. This why is that the only form of worldly success? It's one of them. I don't know, I mean, but it's probably,

it's kind of like there's a reason things are naturally set up. You know what I mean? There's a reason people are drawn to like traditional way of doing things because people fill the roles that like feel good to them. Yeah. Some people like don't wanna do that. It's just what works for you.

It works the last guy I dated was like, we went on like five dates and I really liked him. I thought he was right on top. I'm like, yeah, and then I'm like, quick beating around the bush, what do you do? And then on the fifth date, I was just being polite. And I was like, do you want me to get this one? You've got so many of our dinners.

And he was like, ah, get me next time. And I thought he was joking. And the next time we went to dinner, he was like, text me, he was like, oh, get me next time. And I thought he was joking. And the next time we went to dinner, he was like, text me, he's like, hey, bring cash. No. Bring cash is the only way to get a new. It's a demand.

It's crazy. No, not only do I have to pay, I have to go to the ATM. We were sending me on errands. Why'd you, how'd you handle it? I, I texted him back and I go, oh, I know I offered and it was a mistake. I was trying to be,

I know you're taking the offer. Yeah, I was like, I was truly, I was like mistake. I was trying to be... And now you're taking the offer. Yeah, I was like, I was truly... I was like, I was truly trying to be polite. I will pay for dinner tonight because I offered and I don't mind and I have the money, but I just wanna let you know this is not how I date. So I said, it's not how I date. And how do you...

How do you respond? He was like, well, he was like saying, he's like, I don't really like, like I feel like very used every time I go on a date in LA The girls just want me to pay blah blah because you're a guy. Yeah, but for our date. I did my nails. I did my hair I bought new clothes. Yeah, like I put a lot into it and you just showed up like so fucking ugly Oh, man, oh They all are like they don't do anything to hell. They're gonna get so mad at you. They're not ugly

But they're like natural. They're not hot one. They're not ugly, but they're men are natural Yes, and it costs money to be unnatural. It's a lot of maintenance It's a fair point. It's actually a very fair point. Yeah, so I'm like okay. I know somebody I'll pay for the date But I'm gonna have hairy toes and my nails are gonna look bad. I'm not gonna wear any makeup I cost a lot of money get your hair did your nails your nails. You guys have nice nails, nice hair. Oh, this should take some time. I know a woman who I'll tell you later, who is, who told me she dated a guy.

Yeah, you better. Sorry. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which she dated a guy for a number of years, like a number of years, and he split every bill, every dinner, every lunch. I'm gonna throw up. I feel sick and sick. And he even, he would even like,

No. Piggy back on some of like some work trips so that he could stay in the hotel. So you've dated a couple of cheapos. It's crazy. Oh yeah, yeah. But see, this is the problem with the feminine, the current state is like,

it should be equal. Fancy, fancy, like, no, thank you. But it's not equal because you're not giving birth to a baby. It'll never be equal. It'll never be equal. The woman has the biological burdens. You dated the bath bomb guy and then before that you're dating a guy, I remember I used to look at your Venmo and you'd be sending him like $15 for your talk. For what day? For tacos. For coffee. I'm like, Sarah, what are you doing? That was a while ago. It was a different time. What did he do? What do you mean? He would send you Venmo requests for dates. It would go on dates and she would then know him for half the food. He didn't have

that much money. So at the time, I offered to be for this is I hate when they say I don't have money to date because my high school boyfriends had money to buy me lunch. That's true. It's not an excuse. That's true. If my high school boyfriends can figure it out with their McDonald's jobs. We all grow. We change you. You used to have an Amazon wish list and on it was Panera gift card. I still have it. Can I tell you, Panera? Panera's two, it's just like bad bread.

No, I got it. I got it. Yeah, you got it. That's what I mean, people change. Yeah. Thank you, the point made. Yeah, and then you had that cheap guy that started charging you for bath bombs.

What? And then he said, no, what happened was he bought me bath. He says, I want to do something. He moved her in. He says, I want to do something nice for you. Can I buy your bath bombs? I said, sure, I would love that. Then the next month I went to go buy something from the store and I came on with a bag.

And he said, if you're going to be shopping, then you need to be paying for your own bath bombs. And how would you go for like almost a year and And he told her she needs to not take baths every night because she's running up his water bill this guy and I'm telling you this guy is rich No, okay Okay, he lost a hundred thousand dollars in crypto and then for fun mad at me. Yeah Well, that's kind of your phone. He bought when they were dating he bought a hundred thousand dollars in crypto He bought these mr. Frog Crypto's Crypto's and then he came up to Sarah and he's like I bought you one and we were like hell yeah

He bought you a hundred thousand dollars crypto. He got her the Miss frog that was only worth fifty dollars Which is already they're disrespecting us even in the fucking crypto world. Yeah, I can I tell you what's a great thing about my husband. He's never been cheap. Even at our listen, even at our parterists are fucking I'm not cheating people living in the rampart division and shitty little apartment. He was never true. And he never did that shit. Like I paint red, maybe 50.

And he can have two sticks to rub together. Keeping scoring. Yeah, you can't do that. If you're a guy, you can't do that. You're a good man, Tom. He's a good man. He's a good man. Yeah, I don't fuck with it.

I don't do it. I don't like it. It's not attractive. Or it's not attractive. But the versus you're gonna, you take care of them. I cook. Yes. You gotta do it. You gotta do it, I'll do your laundry. I'll suck your day. What do you want?

I mean, this is the top three. Listen, check out this bitch podcast this bitch and friends live on November 26th at the comedy store. Also, you have the shank podcast and the concomitant takeover and patreon.com slash Kim Congee. Yeah, that's where I sell my thirst traps. I I took all off Instagram. You can't see anything hot on my Instagram Oh Patrons worth it. Oh shit. Yeah, we're horrors Very good Thank you guys so much. I'm so glad you're out there. I'm so excited for this class of comics that you guys are in.

This is wonderful. You guys were amazing. So thank you. Thank you ladies for coming. Thank you for having us. Thank you for having us. Bye bye. Tommy.

Tommy. Tommy. Tommy. Yeah. Tommy. Tommy. Tommy. Would you marry your dad?

Just like, just like the gaze. Just like, just like the gaze. Tommy Would you marry your dad? Just like the gaze Just like the gaze Just like the gaze Just like the gaze Tommy, would you marry your song? Yes of course, my god, I wish I could Tommy, would you marry your dad? Oh, yeah. Yeah, of course I would do it.

Can you stand up? Would you marry your son? Oh, my god. Yeah. Yeah. Would you marry your dad? Yeah, of course. I live for this condition. Yeah. Just like the gaze. Just like the gaze. Just like the gaze. Just like the gaze. Just like the gaze.

Would you marry your mom? No. Come on. I think I'm marrying my dad. Okay. Christina. Yeah. Would you marry your mom?

I don't know. Please. No. Would you marry your dad? Yeah. Of course. For sure. Please. No. Would you marry your dad? Yeah. Of course. Yeah, for sure. Yes. Mm-hmm.

Yeah. I really love it. I really love it. I really love it. I really love it. I really love it. I really love it. I really love it.

I really love it. I really love it. I really love it. I really love it. I really love it. I really love it. I really love it. I really love it.

I really love it. I really love it. I really love it. I really love it. I really love it. Damn.