Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - Taking Kendall Toole For A Spin | YMH Ep. 781

Episode Date: October 16, 2024

Get tickets for Tom’s Come Together Tour at https://tomsegura.com/tour SPONSORS: -Right now you can get 3 Day Blinds buy one get one 50% off deal on custom blinds, shades. shutters, and drapery. Just head to https://3DayBlinds.com/YMH. -Don’t miss out on all the action this week at DraftKings! Download the DraftKings app today! Sign-up using https://dkng.co/mom or through my promo code MOM -If you want to get in on the delicious protein-packed nutrition today, head to https://Orgain.com/YMH and use code YMH for 20% off your order This week on Your Mom's House Podcast, Tom and Christina are still basking in the fabulous glow of Fancy Chef's recent visit! They recap how the day went and feel so appreciative of everyone here at Studio Jeans that helped pull it off. Tom next opens the show with a clip of an overeager lower lip lover, which leads to a conversation about public displays of camel toe making a comeback. They also check out a clip of some little league aggression, some touchless tantric massaging, and read an email about a fat methhead. Tim and Christine are then joined by former Peloton instructor and fitness influencer, Kendall Toole! Tom is a big fan of hers and the reasons couldn't be more obvious. Kendall shares her journey through life and proves that hotness doesn't mean you're immune to adversity or mental health issues. Kendall had to grind, much like the wheels on a spin class bike, to get the life and physique she shows off today. The trio also talk about the Double Soul Shaman, the fat shaming honesty people from foreign countries have, plus Kendall reacts to some classic cool guy clips and experiences Christina's TikTok curations. Now get back on the bike, pig! Your Mom’s House Ep. 781 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://christinaponline.com/tour-dates https://store.ymhstudios.com https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Last week we went on sale with the next leg of my 2025 tour dates both in the US and Europe. Tickets are available now for my November shows November 8th in San Diego, California at Pechanga Arena, November 9th in Phoenix, Arizona at the Footprint Center. I also announced a few rescheduled dates. Richmond, Virginia is now Friday January 10th, Norfolk, Virginia is now Friday January 10th. Norfolk Virginia is now Saturday January 11th. Mount Pleasant Michigan is now Sunday January 19th. And St. Louis Missouri is now Friday May 16th and Saturday May 17th. If you had tickets to the original dates it will be honored for the rescheduled shows. If you can't make the rescheduled dates, refunds will be issued from your point of purchase. Tickets and all tour dates are on sale right now at tomscura.com slash tour.

Welcome, welcome, welcome to your mom's house. This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. Squarespace is the all-in-one website platform for entrepreneurs to stand out and succeed online. Whether you're just starting out or managing a growing brand, Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website, engage with your audience, and sell anything from products to content to time,

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How are you? I'm good, John Segura. It's good to see you again. It's good to see you again. It's good to see you. What's been going on? Well, you know, I'm still recovering, reeling, basking in the afterglow. That is Fancy Chef.

It was unbelievable. It was really unbelievable. There was so much excitement leading up to his being here. And then when he was here, we were all in a frenzy Yeah, we really were everybody was like texting me like what are you getting here? It's the only time we've ever identified a unique talent Online yeah found somebody and the the time from

Identifying to having the person on the show was like, it was highly concentrated. Yes. You know what I mean? Like there's been times we've played people where you go like, oh yeah, and then it's like two years That's a good point. go by, and then we finally have somebody find that person

in the wild or something, you know? But like this was identify the person. I got it also because I know the people at home were like, that's the greatest thing I've ever seen in my life. And I feel the same way. I want to give credit to this incredible staff here because they worked really hard. First of all, just to get him to answer one of his three lines, coordinating the travel, and then preparing everything that a fancy chef requires to come and cook at a place. So kudos to you guys. You did an awesome job.

I mean, it was outdoor stoves. Well, we had to be ready for him to do what he does best, which is cook. And we all were just blown away at the innovation and the creativity. Oh yes. As he said, things that have never been done before. And truly, truly.

Truly remarkable first time things were done that, yeah. Well let's recap because I've been dreaming about his cream sauce that he put on the pasta. Oh you mean the John Segura. That's the name of that dish. So for those of you, I mean, I'm sure we have the recipe. We'll post it somewhere. We should do the, you know, where you show them how to make it.

But the John Segura consists of first you make scallops and you let those kind of chill for a couple hours. Then you get shrimp and you cook those. And then as the pasta sits, you let the pasta sit. Usually like it to kind of, you know, want it to cool down and kind of just chill for a couple hours. Then in a saucepan you do three large spoonfuls of butter, about half a bottle of extra virgin olive oil, two cartons of heavy creamer, half a bottle of red wine, just pick any one you want, and then half a bottle of champagne.

This is such an extraordinary flavor, believe me. Hold on, you forgot the two jars of ready-made pesto. Oh my god How could I forget that you put the two jars of pesto in and then at the very end when you go? What can make this even better you squeeze three lemons over all of that? Listen to me your palate comes alive. I have I'm friends with a number of chefs I've been telling them about this and they are all saying the same thing What the fuck are you talking about?

Because they've never heard of anything like this. I've never had innovation like that before. Yeah, these guys. Now what's neat about, and a lot of people, you're just watching, I wish we could have taste divisions so the audience could taste what we tasted. When I took a bite of my shrimp, alcohol, heavy.

So much alcohol. So much alcohol. But that here's. But I liked it because I got a buzz just off of one bite of shrimp, which is cool. Some people think, oh, if there's an overpowering taste of something, let's say alcohol, that this is poorly made. No. But not if that is the purpose of that. That's right. You know what I mean? Not

if you're an alcoholic and then it's a dream dish. It's so good that you go, holy shit, I feel drunk. I feel like I'm eating food that's just been soaked in booze. And then you go, but yeah, but that was, that's the concept. You gotta open your, basically you're boring is what I'm trying to tell you. And then you- I agree.

Try these things and you go, oh shit, okay. And also for those pussies out there who are like, I only eat olive oil or I only do butter or not both. We don't like to mix the oils. Who doesn't like to mix butter, oil and heavy creamer? That's awesome. And the pesto, don't forget the pesto is also in oil as well. Right, it sits in an oil base. Yeah. There's a lot of oil.

But here's the other thing. What if you're constipated? Guess what? Not after the John Segrè, you're not. That's right. That's just probably why he did it. Again, he's brilliant. Because he maybe heard you talking previously on an episode about being constipated There you go being like I'm having and then met what if he was just like, oh That's right. Can I tell you something? What's interesting? I haven't been constipated in a while. Maybe it's cuz you ate the John Cigarra It's definitely the John Cigarra. Also not taking the Ozempic for the last couple three months That's probably I think there's a link between Ozempix

and the Constitution. And you look great. Thanks. You look great. Thanks kid. Your hair looks good. Thanks, I did it for you. And I'm wearing a goth tuxedo shirt. Look at that shirt. Do you love it? It's so ruffled. Can I tell you something? What?

When I was goth, growing up, we'd have to go to vintage clothing stores and buy authentic tuxedo shirts. That's very cool. I think it looks great. From the 70s, but listen, they would all smell because there were some dudes' tuxedo shirts from the seventies. But listen, they would all smell because there were some dudes tuxedo shirt from the seventies. And so I would have to suffer through the bad smells.

But now they're cool again. It's very cool. Thanks pal. And what about the necklace? This is a goth I did my butt on Etsy. I do all my goth jewelry shopping on Etsy. Yeah. And the nails too,

which I'm gonna tell you the story about that Now what about you? Are you in a festive mood? Is that why you're wearing your black tee and your khakis or what? What is this mood for you? You tell me your inspiration board. I mean it wasn't an inspiration board It's just you know gotta go. I'm busy That's what this look is. Yeah, I just yeah not a lot of thought went into it It was just grab a shirt go do I mean, you know, no, I know because like last week you were like, I had just yeah not a lot of thought went into it. It was just grab a shirt go do I mean, you know, no, I know because like last week you were like, I'm so happy. I'm in a good mood Yeah, wear bright colors you were

Cream cream. Yeah off white. It was very bright. Sure. Everybody said that except for you Everybody's like you look festive today. Do you ever he wears white normally? Yeah, like doesn't Tom wear kind of cream white gray Those are your yellow I wear yellow shirts never all the time. He can pull up fucking clips of me wearing yellow Yeah, yellow with two bears maybe not with not with me I've done it here, too, but you know, it just shows you don't pay attention. No, that's the difference Don't know why don't we play an opener for the show? Ready? Here we go

Hey ladies, if you like a guy who'll give your lower lips lots of lovin', I'm your man. That's what you chose? What's wrong with that? Yo mom where the fuck is Dan? Welcome, welcome to your mom's house with Tom Segura Meow meow meow meow meow Feel you in my jeans, mister sitting on the couch. Please don't molest me, I don't want to sleep with you. God. I'm your man. I Your man, why did you have to bum me out with him? I was having the best time

I'm having a better time now, but I'm not I don't like these cool guys. I love these literally I'm gonna eat your pussy box Why does it make you so happy I don't know it's fucking cool, I guess it's just cool is it cool Yeah, I like when they're like this. You know why I like someone's not scared to be sexy. Okay, all right He's not holding back. Wait. I saw a clip of Bert telling you that he and Leanne are dirty talking in bed No, he's yeah. Well, he's like I like dirty talk. I was like, what do you say? He's like, okay Just what are you saying? He's like Yeah

Yeah, that's kind of but see that's like a dumb guy thing to say like whose pussy is this? Yeah, you think we're talking about a physicist talking about Burt. He's like, I'm confused Yeah, of course. Yeah, cause I can't imagine him doing that. You know what I mean? I can't imagine him. He's like a brother to me, but whatever. I can't, I can't. Hey, this brings me into a question.

You have to look at me, you have to pay attention. It's very important, okay? So I was hanging out with Duncan's wife, Erin, this last weekend. We were talking about what dudes like. And I want you to be very honest with me and I won't be upset. I'm not gonna get jellies.

I'm not gonna be weird. You can tell me the truth. What dudes like. No, no, I'm gonna ask you something and then you tell me whether or not you really like it. But again, don't be weird. I'm not gonna hold it against you. I'm closing my eyes so that I don't make judgments

based on your look. I'll just tell you honestly. Okay, so Erin and I were out and we saw this girl wearing like the Lululemon tight pants, the whatever that shit's called, the athletic leggings. Yeah, and Erin was like, oh my God, and you know, tight pants, the whatever that shit's called, the athletic. Leggings. Leggings, yeah. And Aaron was like, Oh my God, like you can see their pussies.

And I've asked Duncan whether or not he likes it. And Duncan said that he doesn't. And look, I don't think Duncan lies, but I, I don't know that you're going to tell your wife that it excites you sexually, but you'll tell me because you don't have that level of concern for my feelings or you don't care. You know what I mean?

Like you're way worse to me than Duncan probably is to Aaron. They're newly, they're like newlyweds. Do you know what I mean? We've been together for a thousand years. So just tell me the truth. When you see the Lululemon girl and you can see her pussy lips through the leggings. Got it. What does that do?

Who, like what she look like? That's a big factor. It's a huge factor. Of course it is. But hold on. So is everything by the way. So hold on. So if it's a pig, well, hold on.

How about this? She's a normal, well hold on, how about this? Is she's a normal, nice, nice-weighted fit gal? Just a fit gal? Do you have to see the face before you look at the pussy lips? Okay, well, because I didn't think you were going here because the thing that usually, I think most men, minds go to when you talk about these types of pants,

is the ass. Because the pants actually, this is why they exploded in popularity, the pants give the wearer a better ass. True story. So if you were gonna say, do you like the way it looks on their ass? Absolutely, yeah, it looks great.

Do I, I don't notice usually pussy lips, as you said on those. I see the ass. But if you see the lips, does it arouse you? Does it disgust you? No, I think more than anything you're just alarmed. Seeing a cooch in public, you're just like, Jesus. I mean, you're just like, are you? No, you're not like, God, that's, mm.

Well, I don't know. There's some pigs in the booth. I don't think seeing a puss in public is not generally like, that's what I'm talking about right there. It's usually like, dude, are you fucking seeing this? That's what that is. Because, right, so I- Because it's genitals, it's not like,

you know what I mean, like the ass, it's the shape, right? Just like breasts, you just see a shape and you're just like, oh. That's sex, that, it's the insinuation of what's happening. And you actually want them. They're covered. Yeah. So it's there's something mysterious there.

It's not exposed. Yeah. You go, that's sexy, right? But like the same thing if you were like, this woman's topless. You're like, do you like it? I guess. Also, she's naked. This is weird.

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For additional terms or responsible gaming resources, see dkng.co slash FTball. But Aaron and I were talking about camel toe and how like when we were growing up, it's shameful. I think it's laughable and more shock value than it is enticing. But nowadays girls, like it's okay to have camel, is it a thing to have camel toe?

Josh, Zolo, you're 25. I don't know, I don't think girls are purposefully showing it. I think they are. Really? Showing their coots? Look at Eni, they're showing their lips on purpose I don't think girls are purposefully showing it. I think they are really Look at any they're showing their lips on purpose to get dudes to check them out. Yeah, it's such an extreme though It's such it's so any it school my husband because he's a thousand years old school me I mean, I'm sure you know that definitely exists, but I feel like It's one of those things that's like better in a fantasy, you know what I mean?

Like, it's been hot if you saw it in one of those Instagram profiles that like fakes like it's not porn, but it's like, this is porn. I like it there too, cause I'll be like, ooh, that's, what's that? And then you figure it out, but again, it's the mystery of like, what's that?

And then you go, oh. And also he's right, because in a photo, it's a still image, right? And you're like, she, no, wait no, wait, you're doing the game, and that's enticing. In public, if you walk around and you literally see a cooch, you're just gonna go like, fuck, like this is insane. That's what it is.

I know. You also think this woman's mentally ill. You're not like, oh, she's probably cool. This woman's fucking crazy. Of course, if she's walking around with her pussy lips, like sticking out, you're not like, yeah, she's probably pretty chill. That's the side effect of the Lululemon leggings,

is that if you, I'm telling you, if you pull them up too high and then you, oh, you got your roogie in there. Of course. Yeah. How many are there in your mouth right now? because it looks a little puffy for four there's more room now without that Invisalign I have I'm telling you I remember when my father said this about multiple myeloma I've been to the mountain top and back now I've

been to the top and I know where it can go. That shit has been horrible. So it's been real. But you're free now. And I got a lot of support. I want to thank everybody. I got a lot of support from people who are informing people like you, who have never experienced anything like it, how rough it can be to get your business line, how rough it can be to get them off. And by the way, the maintenance, you know what I have to do every fucking night? I sleep with a retainer now.

You're such a child. That's so gay. That's way crazier than what you're doing. It is. I know, radiation is like, it's so easy. How long does radiation last? Well, I go five days a week. How long does it last? 10 minutes a day.

Okay, yeah, and I'm sleeping with this shit eight hours a night, and you're like, oh, mine's worse, I don't think so. So speaking of, I went to this morning before this to do radiation, you gotta listen. I'm listening. So there's the waiting room, the green room before. Yeah, and it's all oldies.

And the magazines are so suck. It's like there's one good housekeeping. Bad magazines are the worst. I know, and there's one like French Southern living. And I'm like, wouldn't it be funny if I could just bring in some playboys? Cause there's a lot of dudes there and just see what happens. Like what would you want old people to read?

By the way, look at that message. Just got word from girls in the office. They all say camel toe is embarrassing and not on purpose. But those are good girls that we work with. Those are good girls, normal good girls. Fair enough. I'm talking about whores. Yeah, but all whore behavior is like, it's a whore.

But I'm saying in the whore world Aaron told me Yeah, that whores do that. They sure but those are I mean you talking about hose Are you talking about new phenomenon? But I'm saying camel toe was a shameful thing and now it's kind of it is like out there Okay, cuz of the lulu lemon pants. I'm telling you I'm telling you More men are into seeing a great ass than being like, oh, I hope I can see her puss through those pants Okay, I have to admit Yeah, when I see either someone's dick and balls through their pants or their anybody's genitals with the women I it's like a special treat. Yeah, like a dark treat. Uh-huh. Like what you were saying we're like, whoo

I didn't want that but I'm it's fun. Like that's something to think about You know what? I mean to think about it's likeof, I didn't want that, but it's fun, like that's something to think about. You know what I mean? To think about? It's like, I didn't want that. I didn't know I wanted it until I got it. And I'm like, that's funny. It's funny? Yeah, like don't you kind of like seeing

an inappropriate thing? Yeah, I love seeing inappropriate things. It's the best. Well, yeah, that's kind of what I'm saying. If you see a puss in public, like you're talking about, the thing you're gonna do is be alarmed and then you wanna find other people to tell. Of course.

So you're just like, hey, hey, hey. Don't you remember the dad, the kindergarten dad? Yes, of course I remember kindergarten dad. And I talked about him to everybody. Of course, the whole community knew about him. You've seen this guy's dick right now? For instance, your son Ellis and I, we were out in public and we saw this lady

who was wearing a tank top that was the same color as her skin. So it looked like she was wearing nothing at all. Oh, like like, yes, skin tone. And both of us, we were like, whoa. And I was like, is that, is she wearing a naked shirt? Like, what is that? And the other day he's like, I saw her again.

She wasn't naked. I know what color her skin is now. Like he gave me an update like weeks later. It was so cute. Yeah, he remembered. Like he really, it resonated. And I'm so happy to pass that along to my son to start judging strangers and so how often are you staring at cocks in public? Well only if they present themselves. I'm not staring all the time. How often, how does a cock present itself? When a gentleman wears sweatpants.

Sweatpants. When I go to a basketball game with you. This has happened once in five years. I know, but that's what I'm saying. Well, I'm saying like biker shorts, that seems like a dick wearing pants. That one's a little too blatant. Oh.

I liked it at the Olympics when that guy pole vaulted. The whole world liked it. That was amazing. And the diver. The diver, amazing. But I don't like to see the actual genitals. Remember we were in Florida on the beach and that man. Oh, his balls were hanging out.

I don't like to see them. It's the shape. The shape. The hint of, what's that? Oh, that's what I'm talking. This is what asses and tits are. And then it goes too far. It goes too far. It's the same thing. Yeah, what's that? Oh. That's what I'm talking, this is what asses and tits are. And then it goes too far. It goes too far.

It's the same thing. Yeah, it's the same thing. What about like, jean cock? That's fun. I love that, and I like that in Europe because they tend to wear tighter jeans. They definitely wear tighter jeans. Especially in Eastern Europe,

and you can really see what's happening down there. And you know exactly who's packing meat. Yeah. Yeah. And then I see you talking a little longer to the person person and I'm like, hey, what are you doing? I'm like, I just he's from here. It's just so interesting Whose pussy is this whose pussy is this? It's definitely Been together too long babe, I know the answers

Okay, you want to come hard? Oh no, I don't want. Why are you doing sexual today? Waf that up there. Get a whiff. Stop, stop. Okay, thanks Okay got it next clip, please

Okay, you don't like energy that's fine What if I put the good housekeeping cover on a pornographic magazine. That'd be rad. That'd be really funny. Yeah, that would be rad. Some old people are friendly. Most of them aren't chatty at all. It's a real bummer. What happens to you when you get old? You just don't wanna talk to anybody anymore.

Yeah, I think it makes sense. You know why? In a general sense, you're just tired. Sure. You know what I mean? Like if right now, if you're tired, I'm like, do you wanna do this and do you wanna do that? You go, no. You wanna go to dinner with these people? No, I'm like, do you wanna do this and do you wanna do that? You go, no.

You wanna go to dinner with these people? No, I'm tired. But what if your whole day is tired? All the every day. God, that sucks. They're just tired. I know, that's my enemy though. I don't wanna be tired all the time.

Nobody does, but I'm saying that's what, when you're seeing someone who's like 80 and they're like, oh. Oh God. They're just fucking, that's why they always nap. They fall asleep in every chair. Cause they're ready to die. You're just getting ready to die But then you see those fit people that are 80 and they don't know there's the fucking gotta be fit

You just answered the whole formula. I know you gotta be fair. I know I know as you know few things I think you would agree give me more joy than a Black eye speaking aggressively, right? Than a black guy speaking aggressively, right? This has been the entire time you've known me and especially when it's in the sports world And I have a clip here to put a smile on my face this morning. This is a Little League Football coach these kids are 10 This is a travel football team called the fire hawks and coach is getting ready for the game

That's what's up, I get so got it when it's related to football too. It's just it puts me in the best mood You're saying what puts a smile on my face sure It's a nice ass in a pair of lululemon leggings, but this makes me even happier I think it's the greatest. I really wish I'd had a little league coach like this. Yeah for sure You need to win, but this is what makes winners. Yeah, and there's also parents out there that are crying. Pussies, pussies, cry babies. I cry when I see the opposite style coach.

Just get out there and have some fun. It's okay if you don't win or lose. Nobody's a winner or loser. Just being active. No, it's not. And playing a game. Losers. Knock a motherfucker's shit loose. That's, it's not. And playing a game. Losers. Knock a motherfucker shit loose. That's what it's about.

This is how losers are made. Bangin', fuckin'. Of course. Whack. You know, I tell my children, I do Soviet mom regime regimens on them too. And I say, what, do you want to be a warrior or do you want to be crybaby American pussy?

I raise you to be strong, like Eastern European. Same thing, I talk to them, I don't scream like that, but I tell them, you wanna be an American pussy boy? You should try screaming like this, see what happens. Actually, I've done it, they don't like it that much. No, no, they don't like that. But I'll tell you, it's true though, that you can't be like super, I'll give you an example.

The last few months I've been like more tired so I don't do as much as a mom. And I went to this trampoline park with the boys and I noticed some moms like to get in the ball pit with the kids and be a part, I'm like, what are you doing? This is your one chance for them to fuck off and you get some quiet time. You know what I'm saying?

And Julian was like, mom, you come with me? I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, you get some quiet time. You know what I'm saying? And Julian was like, mommy come with me. I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, you go. You go. You go. I don't wanna go, I'm scared. Fucking go bitch. Yeah, you'll figure it out. Figure it out.

And he did. You won't be scared in a second. No, and he had the best time. And they're happier, cause I'm ignoring them more. I'm happier cause I'm ignoring them. It's necessary. The worst mother I am, the happier everybody is. You look happier.

In the public setting, I know. You see these fucking dilettantes, right? Get out there. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey. The first kid. Every second they're hovering and you're like, God, what's up, rookie?

Take a seat. Go buy us some fucking coffee. You're new here. This is why you take them to a playground, to ignore them. Yeah, go play. Don't play with them. What the fuck are you doing? Fall, get some scratches.

Get bruises. Our kids, we went for ice cream yesterday, we were at the playground, and our two boys were on the floor wrestling each other. Wrestling, that's awesome. We were like, this is why you have two. They fuck off, they entertain you. And you just hear, ow, ow, ow,

and you're like, yeah, yeah, all right, take it easy. Don't kill them. Who cares? And I have a rule. Whoever makes the other person cry is the one that gets punished. You don't get punished until somebody cries. When someone cries, then you're like, that's it.

That's right. Your shit's getting taken away. These are right. What the, what, oh, what? I didn't do anything. But this is how you should talk. That's my favorite too, is that kids go, I didn't do anything.

And you're like, why is he crying? I guess I hit him kind of hard. Okay, that is what you did, cool. You know, I just got back from a trip and I walk in to my office at home and the blinds have collapsed. They're on the ground. Is there anything worse than garbage blinds

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Because there's, yeah, it's very, it doesn't seem like they should be able to be. Yeah. Because meth is the whole reason you look hot. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. He got, he got pretty heavy. Yeah, because meth is the whole reason you look hot. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. He got pretty heavy. Hi, Hitlers. I moved to Vegas in 2001 and began doing crystal meth. I never knew people did meth so casually. Literally everyone was doing it. My friends' moms would sometimes just turn to me and ask if I wanted to get high while rocking their kid to sleep or preparing a bottle for their

baby. Fuck. I fell in with some biker types and a guy I met would eat pounds of bacon when he would come down. He insisted he needed fat so that people wouldn't be able to tell he was on meth. He was into the idea that the Nazis invented meth. We know that and they had developed protocols to stay healthy He was super fat, but he would stay up for weeks at a time Everyone else in his orbit was wasting away. It was crazy oddly his plan seemed to work

He eventually ended up having a heart attack While driving his motorcycle like a psycho and died would love dr. Mommy's thoughts on this guy's lifestyle Yeah It's a good question Well, it makes sense if you come down after days and days of partying and then you just stockpile calories Yeah, that's what he's doing because like you said he knew going into it.'s like, oh, these meth heads always are so skinny and wiry and then everyone knows, you know, they're gaunt. But like if I load up on bacon, that won't happen to me.

Well, is that what the Nazis did, Tom? I don't know that the Nazis followed that proto. Um, yeah, I think they, I mean, they, they had, they had them fucking geeked out the whole time. Yeah, they were gacked. That's how they did the Blitzkriegs. All of it. Yeah.

They were fucking, they were just fighting, just tweaking all the time. I wonder what this protocol is, the Nazi protocol. You didn't fall proto buddy, you're done. Yeah. I don't know. I mean, Fatsmoker did it. Herc, he was fucking... He was fat. He was heavy, yeah. He was also... He had eaten dog food and drinking Pepsi's all day,

so maybe, you know... Eating dog food? Yeah, he's just had all kinds of bullshit in his snacks. He always had chips and fucking... Yeah, I think he just ate whatever. We have to ask Dr. Drew. He could definitely tell us. This is his domain. Yeah. Recovery and drugs and stuff. Good question.

Yeah. Remind us to ask Dr. Drew this question, please. Will do. Yeah, because I have friends that did meth in high school and nobody was fat. No, they usually get real skinny. They look great. Stay up for days. That's what happens.

Yeah. You just start withering away. Your body's burning calories. And your brain is going psychotic and shutting down from a lack of sleep too. Yeah, the combination of the two is a fun, fun time. All right, why don't we take a quick break and we'll be right back.

Ready in chamesh, arba, shalosh, shtaym. All right, welcome back. We are thrilled to introduce our guest today. You may have seen her in the saddle or out of the saddle. That's just inside talk. For a certain spin class you might take on what was, where she formerly was. But now you can find her on her podcast Wholeheartedly with Kendall and Gayley or check her out all over social media, of course on Instagram at

Kendall tool it's Kendall tool You guys thanks for coming in thank you for having me I have been tagged in this podcast So many times and I'm like do I clap back do I comment and then I was like just waiting for the opportunity to finally Get here. So Kendall'm happy to be here. Well, let's fucking go. Let's fucking go. Let's fucking go. Oh, I love saying fuck, it's great.

I'm allowed to do it here. Oh, you can do it here, yeah. Well, this is a free place. Freedom. I'm gonna be honest with you, Kendall. First time I saw you, first time I saw your figure, heard your voice, saw my husband peddling to ya,

had a little girl on girl hate, I was a little jealous. And I felt like you were trouble. And then... But then in all fairness, I did a dive on your socials. And I was like, oh, she's a real one. Like you're a real G. And I don't know, I like your story.

And I like that you like your dad and that you, yeah. So can you tell us a little bit about you and your story? Yeah, tell us your story. I had no problem with you, but go ahead. Tell us your thing. You're like, I liked you, we're fine. Well, because you're perfect, Kendall. And I like that you are. Far from it though.

You're so pretty and you should be fitter than the people that are on the bikes. Do you know what I mean? That's why we have a problem with like fat Barbies. Well, that's why I have a problem with fat Barbies. We'll get into that. We can get into that. We can get into that. Tell me your story.

We hate inclusivity. Go ahead. Inclusivity is such a fucking joke. No. Watch that gets pulled and I love it. And I'm whatever. Let's go. Let's go.

But yeah, so my story, essentially I was super fucking depressed and nobody would know. And yes, I get it. It's like, okay, here's the pretty white chick who has had all the privilege in the world and barely has a thought that goes through her brain. I get it. I knew how I came off, especially on the bike. And when I got kind of cast for that job, I was like, damn, I am not doing anything to help anybody other than like, oh, look, look at her.

She's that girl on the bike, she knows it. And so, yeah, it was during COVID and obviously all of us were depressed and locked away and I was in a studio apartment in New York and racking my head against a wall, right? And I was like, I just need to talk about what I've really been through. And so full story, Cliff Notes version,

I was suicidal my senior year of college, almost took my own life. Thank God that my mom, thank God for moms and dads and my mom was calling me multiple times. Tell the story. It's interesting. Yeah. Yeah. So this is this is crazy. This is wild. So as parents, I will let you know, your instincts are totally on point. So I was doing everything great. I went to USC, loved it. It was hard school to get into. I was paying the ass to get into. Geez, you're smart. And I was in film and all that. Thank you. Yeah, it was it was a grind. And's hard school to get into. I was pain in the ass to get into. Geez, you're smart. And I was in film and all that. Thank you, yeah. It was a grind.

And still I held it all together. I pretended like everything was good. I was cheering. I was like little Miss Barbie, right? That everybody thought. And my life, like the color was just draining out of the day. Like I would front to everybody I was good

and then behind the scenes, I just, there was nothing. I just felt empty. Well, what prompted it? Was it, what do you think? I think it was a mix of, one, growing up, there was nothing. I just felt empty. Well, what, what prompted it? Was it, what do you think? I think it was a mix of one growing up in the film industry. Like I was like a total failed kid actor. Thank God in hindsight. Oh my God.

So you're going to auditions and all that as a kid. All the auditions, all the nose. I've had like grown adults tell me I needed like plastic surgery and a nose job to make it in Hollywood, hung out with all the Nickelodeon and Disney kids. No. Oh yeah. You're glad you- That was your upbringing. What? That was your upbringing. Yeah. Working around that. And being in that environment. But then I had really, thank God, really good parents and a very strong, frightening Italian mother who would threaten to whoop my ass

if anything ever changed. So thank God for that. And that helped. But I think I just felt like I had failed. Like I didn't hit this career goal by 18. I did this movie that didn't have the renowned kind of moment that it was supposed to going into college. And I was like, shit, everything I'd worked for myself my whole life, I'm failing. I didn't do it. You feel like a failure. Totally, like full identity crisis.

A lot of people have a little bit later in life. I had it like 20. So realizing I was about to graduate college, I had to get a normal job and be a quote unquote normal person and I failed my dream that I worked so hard for, I think really ate away at me for a long time. And so it was just before Thanksgiving.

It'll actually be nine years this year, which is pretty wild to think about it. But I just, I don't know what got into me. I just was tired of feeling nothing and climbed up to the roof of the building that I lived in. And there was like a fence line above, because you could be on the roof and whatnot, and climbed over that fence and was moments before,

had this flash of like what would happen, kind of like, I hate to say like a Christmas girl and like make this sappy, but kind of what would happen to my parents, what the outcome would be. And I saw out of the corner of my eye, my phone, which I had on silent, was kept lighting up and lighting up.

And I looked, climbed back over, my mom was calling me, 15, 16 times in a row. She just knew something was wrong. And we hadn't talked. We hadn't talked for probably three, four hours. I pretended everything was fine. I didn't have a plan to do this. I'd had these thoughts come in for a while.

And I picked up the phone and she's like, what's wrong? And I said, can you come pick me up? Wow. And then the next three months. Did you tell her when she picked you up? No. So I didn't, I did not tell my parents how bad it really was till years later.

Really? I was so afraid to tell them how close I was that I was so worried it would end and create a problem for them at a deeper level that I just kept it in. Did you get into counseling right away or did you tell what you did? Yeah, so this is kind of how I closed out my classes,

which you know, like I always say, they can knock you down, they can never knock you out. So where kind of that whole thing came from was, one, my dad would always say it. When we lived in Atlanta, we had a basement like you do when you're living in Georgia or the South and he would put a punching bag down there. So I'd always hear like the chains going and he loved Rocky, all that stuff. So anyway, it kind of became a family motto. But when I was, when I came back from school and this, I browned out. I don't remember much of it. I was in such a depressed state. I couldn't shower.

I couldn't eat. I got pulled out of school. My professors were like, your grades are fine. Like we're just going to pass you for the semester. You're good. And yeah, my dad came up to my room and said, essentially, kid, like, we're going to have to put you in inpatient. I know you don't want to do that.

If we do, it's going to push your graduation date. And I know that you're really scared of pushing that and you want to get out of college. And so he said, Look, I need you to get out, get a shower and start doing the little things. And you know, what's our what's our motto in this family? Like, what do we do? He's like, this can knock you down, but you can't let this knock you out. And I get like emotional every time I say it. And, and that was the turning point. And that was so what was

really cool was when I started teaching fitness and pivoted my career and all that, and I just started closing out all my classes even before Peloton with that phrase. And now it's become, it's so wild. Yeah, it's a thing. But Kendall, I'm sorry, but look at you now, is that you were destined to be a star.

And I think that wasn't a right time for you as a child that would have been Disastrous and how how amazing it is that what what is meant for you will come no matter what? Oh, I don't know. Look at you. You're you're you're about to launch everything and not that you're not already popular But this is wonderful. So you made it there anyway at the right time Yeah, and I think it's such a testament to the timing I had for myself. I thought I failed. And the bigger timing and what really the ultimate plan was, I needed to go through that incredible valley.

Like, why should you have a platform if you're not doing something positive with it? Especially in like all the noise and all the chaos that is today. It's like, I'm sick of just hearing random people talk about random shit and be famous for nothing. Like, I want, just tell me something, tell me something human.

So I'm really grateful for the fact that that hell created everything that I do now. And so like, you know, I'm in the process of launching my own charity super soon and I'm really excited about that and doing more advocacy and mental health and having real conversations and finding the funny in it

because it's such a fucking weird existence and the duality of it's wild, and we have to not make it so serious all the time too. That's fun, I'm glad you're doing that. I'm so curious about this, what is it like for somebody, because you have, there's this roster of talent when you have any of the fitness tools,

but like let's say the Peloton bike. So you have a, like you you said you have a cheer background. Were you a cyclist too? Like did you have that background? Because you watch these things and you're like, okay, so like I told you, I take a lot of classes now from Matt. Oh, I love Matt.

And he's great. He's always talking about his triathlons and marathons. And you're like, okay, this kind of adds up. You're like, this guy's training all the time. So, and then some people, you know, you don't know what all their backgrounds are, but like, how does one, what's the process of getting hired at somewhere like that?

I have a feeling by your response that it's like, yeah, there's my dog right there, Matt Wilpers. Yeah, aw, I love Matt Wilpers. He's an angel, he's such a good human. Yeah, so look at Matt, he's legit. I am a fuckingpers. Sweet guy. He's an angel. He's such a good human. Yeah, so look at Matt. He's legit. Yeah. I am a fucking poser.

Really? I never taught a cycling class before Peloton. Seriously? I never taught one. I lied. I said I did. And then did you like... Fake it till you become it.

Yeah. Is there, cause like, okay, just all honesty, like when you start, you know, I started, I was probably 20 pounds heavier. And so you're like, you know, you're doing like cycling classes and you realize, but then there's, you know, there's levels to this shit. And when I'm doing like a 60 or 75 minute, uh, a power zone class, you're like, this is taxing. Like this is really, And it's built to be that way.

So I'm, let me not completely negate myself. Like I am a certified personal trainer. I understand how to build your body and I have a boxing background. So I grew up fighting bitches. That was my cup of tea. That's cool. That's what I loved.

Yeah. So actually one of my mentors is a film director and I met him in college before I had this breakdown and he's like, there's shit going on with you. He's like, you need to come to the boxing gym. I was petrified but I was like, this guy's awesome. I'm not gonna let him down, you know? And I fell in love with boxing.

And then I would go there two, three times a week. He never, bless his heart, he never charged me for private training at this gym. And that set the tone for me in finding my power. Oh, completely. I will still say, and anybody going through anything difficult, if they have the strength to go in and try boxing I think it's

Boxing is phenomenal. Yeah Will but is there like an is there like a legit audition to the instructor? Yeah So how this whole thing happened was I was teaching a boxing fitness class at a place called rumble in LA Yeah, yeah, so I was one of their founding trainers at the LA studio. And I kind of fell into that. So the boxing trainer that was doing my private training with me at that gym when I was just learning boxing, he was opening a private small like boutique fitness studio in West Hollywood. And I was broke because I worked for a very, very well known social media platform and got fired because I wouldn't partake in certain behaviors. But we can't say too much more about that because legal is fun. But yeah, so pivoted from there and

had to completely retool my life. So I was like, I guess I'm broke as shit. I need to teach some type of a class and he's offering me a job to be a boxing instructor So I taught four classes at this gym and then the owners of rumble came in to my fourth class ever were like hey You're decent at this. Do you want to audition to be to be a rumble instructor? Lived in New York did that open the LA studio So after a year and a half of running the LA studio and being one of the founding trainers there Cody Rigsby slid into my DMS on Instagram. It was like hey Hey, do you want to audition for Peloton? I'm like, what is that? And it's a bike. And I've taken three soul cycle classes in my entire life. And then you were like, Oh, I teach cycling sometimes.

Yeah, I totally lied because I was broke and I wanted to move back to New York and I just had a feeling I needed to be back in that city. And you had spent your entire childhood auditioning. So how interesting that totally was not foreign to you. And that's probably why you shined. I'm sure they auditioned so many people. Yeah, it's a lot. Sometimes you take classes, you can take a class with just the instructor,

there's no one there. When it's full of people, how are there people there? Do they sign up for that? Do they email in or something? It's aggressive. So to try to book into those classes, they fill up in like sometimes 30 seconds to two minutes. And there's 40 spots.

And it's usually two to three weeks out. So people will drop everything. And they're like flying in to do it. Oh yeah. They fly in. And then we have a meet and greet after. And it's wild. You hear all the emotions.

You're like, I overcame this. I just got married. I just divorced this smock. Like whatever, all this wild you hear all the emotions. You're like I overcame this I just got married I just divorced this muck like whatever all this stuff you hear at all and and we all do classes together that way I'll say this it's cool. I am a cynical sarcastic asshole Uh-huh and when I start these things and you guys are all like cheery and look this fucking idiot Like being all like hey you can do it and then you then I'm alone at home and then like, you know, after a few, you're like, oh no, this is actually kind of nice.

You guys are so positive. And I actually end up enjoying it. I'll tell you, here's my biggest pet peeve, okay? You're taking a class and it's fucking hard, right? So you're like, you're trying to like push through. And you know, they're like, all right, you're like, you're trying to like, push through. And you know, they're like, all right, you know, like you're ramping back up again. And your guide is the instructor. And it's like, you're in minute, like 45. And you're like, fuck, there's like 15 minutes

left. And the instructor starts with like, I want you to dig deep right now. And the instructor stops. So the instructor stops and goes like, hey guys, I know right now you're probably like thinking about how it's hard, but I want you to just dig the, and you're like, hey motherfucker, start pedaling. Thank you. We're trying to finish. It makes me crazy.

I yell at the screen. As you should. So I will firmly stand on this. The only two times I've ever stopped in classes was during my mental health rides. And I did it because I wanted people to experience what it felt like to work really, really hard and stop. Cause it was a metaphor for thinking of quitting.

Right? Two times I've only ever done it. Otherwise I was an absolute animal. I would not stop. And that's why I can't do it. There's a certain instructor who I will tell you off Mike that makes a regular practice of it. It's bullshit. And it's not Matt,

and it's not you. No, it's not Matt. But it's somebody who I feel like sending a fucking DM to myself. Wow. Like get your ass fucking peddling. Yeah, you're telling me, I just believe it. I'm right there with you. If I'm asking someone to do something,

I'm not gonna not do it with you. Dude, yes, like you're telling me to do shit? Well, it's also like, why would you trust? It takes away our credibility, I think. A thousand percent. Like if I'm going to say this is gonna be great for your body and this is gonna be a great experience for you. Yes. Like I'm much more of like the link arms type of a person. Yeah, yeah.

We'll get up the hill together. Yes. And it sucks. Like I taught metal rides. Those things were absolute hell. They're brutal. I hated them, but I loved them too. How many fucking, this is the other question I have. How many sessions is a typical instructor teaching in a week?

Oh, on a really intense week. So we would have live classes with members. Right. And that was after COVID, we got people back in the studio. That's a whole ordeal though, because you then get there early, we do our own hair and makeup, or I used to, because I was there,

did my own hair and makeup, we all did. And then you would teach sometimes one, sometimes two to three classes, depending on what the stack was. And then you would do a meet and greet with everybody. So you'd be out there, it's like a three hour. And it's just a lot of energy too. It's wonderful, but it was very emotionally tiring.

Is it like five days a week? About three to five days a week, depending on your schedule. Multiple classes a lot of energy too. It's wonderful, but it was very emotionally tiring. Is it like five days a week? About three to five days a week, depending on your schedule. Multiple classes a day? Oh yeah. Wow. So I think on my busiest week, I probably would have anywhere 14.

Oh, so you guys are getting after it, too. Oh yeah. Wait, wait, it's 14 classes per, not per day, per week. No, per week. I was like, Jesus Christ. And meet and greets, and like. Be perfect. Yeah. Jesus. It was a lot, it was a lot. No was like, Jesus Christ. But still it's a time. Yeah. And meet and greets and like. Be perfect.

Yeah. Jesus. It was a lot. It was a lot. No wonder Kendall looks like Kendall. No, I'm not gonna name any names on this sheet here, but how come. Just, you can scroll around and see who's up.

Oh no. Like how come. Oh no. How come they chose to have. Keep going. Heavier. Keep scrolling. People.

The aspirational. Okay. I, there's, okay, two things can be true at the the aspirational. Okay. There's, okay, two things can be true at the same time though. Like, I will totally, I, listen, the great thing is that you have a whole crew of people that either you connect to or you don't, right? It's like a whole cast of Avengers.

So some people- It really is. Some people like Iron Man, some people like Spider-Man. I think they're in front of the same thing. I don't know, I'm clearly not too well first. I will say the instructors are all truly like, they are athletes, they can lift, they can hold. There are some body types too that are different. If you look at an Olympic weightlifter,

they're going to be built bigger and different. It's a different set and a different suite of energy. Is there a weightlifting peloton that I'm not aware of? I don't know about that. I don't think we, some people train Olympic weight lifting. It's a lot of cardio. It's a lot, there's a lot of strength program though.

Jeez, it's a lot of cardio. Well you know you gotta stay on top of your diet too, Gene. Oh my God. There is a thing though that I will say, I'm sure most people experience this. You start some of these sometimes and you're like, nah, I don't like this guy. And you just, yeah, right away.

You're just like, oh, I don't like him. It's funny, it's energy though. It is. And it's the same thing, like, you get a similar experience in a boutique fitness class. Like, you know your instructors. Who's your jam. And you just vibe, and you, you know,

you vibe with people, you don't vibe with others. Exactly. Yeah, I get it. It's like life, it's anything, you know what I mean? You walk into a room and you're just like, nope. You're like, you suck, I don't know why, it's like life. It's anything. I mean you walk into a room and you're just like nope That's why I always like the real people like you and I love my home girl that got why I'm sorry I'm blanking on your name right now. She lives in Greece Comic that became my girl. Sorry guys. It's been a rough year

Stacia Patwell. Oh, yeahwell. Hell yeah, Stacia. Sorry, girls. Ooh, wait, I don't know her. She's great too, because she also has a story of like, hey, I was an alcoholic. I was like 20 pounds overweight. I had a breaking point as well,

and I got into fucking fitness. And same like when she teaches you, she doesn't bullshit you and go like, hey, of course, she's amazing. She's never like, this is awesome. She's like, this sucks right now. Let's fucking do it anyways. You can hate something and still do it.

And I was like, dude, that's the person I like. Just be honest with me, this sucks right now. Let's go. There's so many platitudes. There's just platitudes everywhere and it never connects. It's just so disingenuous. You're like, listen, working out is hard. Losing weight is hard.

Getting healthy is fucking hard There's no easy way about it But it's the consistency and then it's committing to yourself and then it changes your brain chemistry Because you're staying committed to a new habit and the habit means that you're empowering yourself So if that's the cost of having a better life, I think it's worth it I think it makes you a better person, but it's not easy. It is that it's the whole thing I mean what I've learned personally is that it's just really about committing to things.

Like it's, cause a lot of people and myself included have done, you have times in your life where you're like, oh yeah, I ate well Monday and I worked out Wednesday. And then on Saturday, you're like, how come I'm not like happy with my fitness progress? It was like, cause you did like two things this week. this you know, I mean like it's really about every day Yeah, it's moving something every day. Yeah, and it doesn't always I think the other thing too is like, you know There's a great there's a great analogy about like athletes and how a third of the time you're hitting it

You're doing everything peak you feel fantastic Another third of the time you just feel blah mediocre, mediocre, whatever, a day was a day. And the final third, you feel like shit. You think you're not making progress, you're negative in your head, all of that. Two thirds of the time, you're feeling neutral to shit. Like, I think a lot of people think you're supposed to feel great about it every single day,

but really the discipline comes from the fact you're only getting that a third of the time. So the more that you can focus on celebrating that one third and understanding that that's not the expectation to have daily It takes the pressure off of having to have a PR day every single day. It's not realistic It's not realistic. No, and I imagine you're on top of diet too, right? Like you're probably very clean eater pretty much Yeah, like I'm aware of what I'm putting my body. I love cooking I do actually I put a lot of recipes on my Instagram and I've started putting them in the newsletter

that I have, which is sick, but I love, I grew up with an Italian mom and I love my cheese and I love my pasta, but if I can make it a little healthier, I will. So I'll put a bunch of cool recipes up there and just find other ways to sub things out because look, there's a lot of crap in the food, particularly in America, and you have to be thoughtful

of where you get the ingredients. Where's it coming from? Where's the cow from? Is he grass-fed? I eat everything but just thoughtfully. We live in a country that doesn't prioritize food health, food awareness, food nutrition. People don't know shit about,

and it's like we don't teach it. You have to actually be curious yourself to figure it out. And if you rely on just what is out there, without any, you're just eating garbage. Yeah. It's so many chemicals. But see, I didn't believe in this, because I'd always be like,

this is some fucking conspiracy bullshit. Get out of here. I just saw my oncologist two days ago, and she goes, Christina, breast cancer is not one in eight women. It's going towards one in six women. Because of environmental factors, plastics and everything, the GMOs and the food. And I was like, you got to be kidding me that now the cancer doctor is telling me this stuff. And she's like, and I go, what do I do? And she goes, go shop at farmers

markets. Okay, so make sure like you know where your food is coming from. You know, and you can do that here in Texas. There's a lot of farms and there's programs you can, we sign up now for this box of fresh veggies and meat that gets delivered from the local farm. Yes, and it supports the local farmers who are doing the progress and actually farming in sustainable and more functional ways.

Like it's not just churn and burn when you know, and you look at the difference and there's like a really interesting thing where it shows beef cuts that are like grass fed or pasture or whatever. And then farmed beef. And you can just see in the musculature of the beef itself, you're like, that just doesn't look right. The color doesn't look right. No, I don't know if you've ever like, does this look right to you?

Beautiful and nice by the show. I'm going to add this. Wait, what's on top? Don't like I don't know if you've ever like does this look right to you What's on top so that's a lamb shank on top of strawberries I got honey ranch. Honey ranch. Honey ranch. Got gold, hot nine. You drizzle everything with honey ranch, right? You know what? I make a healthier version of it, so I find a way to do it. I mean, that's a six star chef. Six star. I just, I love the gimmick of putting it in like a martini glass or a wine glass.

He created that himself. He invented that. Do you wash your chicken? Oh, is he? I gotta wash my chicken. I got vinegar. Oh my that. Do you wash your chicken? Oh, is he? I gotta wash my chicken. You gonna forgot vinegar. Oh my God. You don't do that? Oh, then is he gonna get in like every little orifice

with the toothbrush? He's doing the backside of the brush, which is interesting. I gotta wash your chicken. Why is he using the back? Wash your chicken. It's just a choice, creative choice. Nice, let's take a toothbrush.

Maybe he's afraid of the plastic from the brush getting into the chicken's head. You know what? Never thought that. Nailed it. Anti-plastic. Wash your chicken. Bless him. Maybe he's afraid of the plastic from the brush getting into the chicken skin. You know what? Never thought that. Anti-plastic. Bless him. You like chicken?

Do you love chicken? Not like that. I would not eat that damn chicken. Oh, you're missing out. You're missing out. What about? That's my favorite. Show me another. Do you like burgers? Do you like a big burger? In a Teflon pan. Really great.

By the way, you had no Teflon. Stainless steel. Look at this burger. What should I Teflon. Stainless steel all night. No! Look at this burger. What should I cook in? Ceramic? Uh, stainless steel. Stainless steel. I'll send you wrecks. Look at this burger. Look at the size of this burger. What is that?

It's his burger. It's his burger. Is he gonna smash it? No, babe. It looks like a big... Do you like the middle raw? Yummy. Do you ever indulge in treats like mac and cheese I did last night actually Oh my cilantro okay is it I have the soap gene so I can't have cilantro otherwise

yeah we could ask that'd be so pasta yeah no I think well this looks like pretty authentic Italian you may want to show your mom yeah show your mom or this is when Italians look at a video and just like curse and throw their phone. Yeah I think quite a few would. Beautiful stir-fry. Fresh lemon. That's delightful. That's mouthwatering. That's mouth-freshing. That's tantalizing. I would love it in a giant oversized martini glass. Oh wow. You know the ones where they put like the towers of shrimp

or like you know the dessert, like the cheesecakes and stuff. Yeah, he does all kinds of cool stuff. I am fancy. Also. People always ask in the chef. Oh wow. What's my favorite meal?

I love his outfit though, I really do. I really do. Peanut butter and jelly. You know that's true, it's a classic. I put bananas on it too. Wow. And also the choice to have thick cuts of bananas. I put bananas on my peanut butter and jelly sandwich. It's very classic. I put bananas on it too. And also the choice to have thick cuts of bananas.

I put bananas on my peanut butter jelly sandwich. It's very thick. So you know, they talk about in cooking, like the perfect bite. Yeah. I think that's a fascinating... I'd be curious how perfect that bite is. Just the mushy textures just really get me going. Just my favorite.

I would do just the peanut butter with the banana. I feel like maybe it's too sweet with the jelly. I don't know. Wasn't that Elvis's favorite? Is it the too sweet with the jelly. I don't know was not Elvis's favorite Is it the is it chemical jelly or is it like? It's organic farm-grown now you are a I would say you're a Fitness influencer right is that fair to say yeah, and we have a we've had a few on the show

One his name is Will. In this episode of What Does the Wild Naked Man Drink, I'm gonna fill this beautiful mason jar with my beautiful Orin, which is medicinal. Keep watching, don't you look away, Kendall. Don't you look away. I'm watching, I'm looking, I'm looking, I'm committed. He's really sweet.

Look at his skin. Doesn't he have beautiful skin, I'm committed. He's really sweet. Look at his skin. Doesn't he have beautiful skin? He really does. He's got a wonderful beard. When I drink my own piss, I get this enhanced benefit of self-approval and self-acceptance. Nice.

Good for mental health. We do, we do. And really that's all there is to life, because self-love is the only love. His platitudes are accurate. They're very accurate. It's true, self-love is truly the only love that his platitudes are accurate. They're very accurate. It's true. Self-love is truly the only love. You know, he runs marathons like he's in good shape.

He's in yoga. I will say it's got to be convenient though. For 5,000 years. And then look, everything that's bad for us, like injecting heavy metals and aborted fetal cells right into your body is made to seem good. And everything that's good for us, like drinking your piss, is made to seem bad. We live in an inverted clam world. So try it for yourself and be your own guru and do what feels good. Do what feels good. And guess what? He emailed us again. He was on the show and he wrote in,

Hey brother, I thought you might enjoy my new cock meditation. This will help men grow their penises and their balls produce more sperm. With Tom injecting his testosterone, cause I inject, I thought he might enjoy this the natural way, love, W. That's Will.

And here is his meditation song. I'm so excited. Yes. I am a sexy man. You have to repeat it. I love how when I walk into a room, my potency is felt and seen. That's good. I am so sexy. I am so sexy.

That the energy moving through my body right now is so powerful. So powerful. I love myself. I love myself. I appreciate myself. I think it's working. Affirmations work.

They do. My body is a testosterone factor. Wow, look how he stood upright. It's working. I am incredibly healthy. Wow. This is amazing. I am incredibly powerful.

I'm incredibly powerful. How long is this? 25 minutes. Okay. I have unlimited energy. I would love to see the before and after of- My confidence is magnetic. Let me tell you, Will came in here, he wanted to come on nude, but he did concede to wearing underwear.

Underwear only. Let's say a sock at least? On the little cock sock? No. No. But I mean, a little more cover. It was underwear, it was little tighty-whities. Also insisted on long hugs in his state.

Hopefully nothing that everything was nice and flaccid. Yeah, for me. It was growing. And for you. For any. He really liked any. Yeah, and he walked right past them, wouldn't hug. No hugs. No hugs for me, though. No hugs. Yeah, you were like, nah, not today.

Not today, fool. But he does look really good in person, and he's an excellent physical shape. He does, he does. And he's very bright. His beard's impressive, his skin tone. His skin looks great. I'm so curious about the urine.

Have you tried it? No, I can't say I have. I don't think I will. I'm assuming he probably doesn't consume asparagus though, because I feel like that would be a really difficult. He's stinking. Look how clear that is. I know.

He's very well hydrated. They'll buy all the supplements, very expensive supplements, yet they never have seen their bros naked. They've never worked out naked. They've never played naked Ultimate Frisbee. They've never done naked wrestling. Oh, there it was. And there's a reason why testosterone and sperm counts are at an all-time low.

It's because men are not getting that vitamin that Robert Bly, who wrote Way of Iron John, said is an invisible food that gets transfused between men through the ethers when they get naked and do, for example, ball cupping or ball tapping rituals where you tap your best dispro's balls and look at his beautiful mushroom head and said good energy into it. Excuse me. Your best dispro's. Can he make a I want a clothing line that says cup your best dispro's balls on the shirt.

I think you're gosh, that would be amazing. I think I don't think it's on brand for me, but I really think he could make a mint doing it. What you're listen Workshops we do a beautiful cock exercise. This is actually inspired by a guy named Darius Bashar Why is he thrusting basically? He does these workshops called penis wellness. So it's all about your relationship with your cock and really learning to love your penis.

Because if you love your penis, your self-esteem builds up. High five. Yeah, so what you do is you stand in a circle and you're on a sort of diet. Makes me uncomfortable. I'm so uncomfortable for them. It's making me. Don't be Peter Gazing.

I am, wow. Are they gonna... Oh, they want to see more? I don't need to see more. Wow. Wow. That's why any walked away. That could have been you, Annie. I know. Just hogging hugs, caught gazing. They went swimming and other. The dick's touching me, man, that's crazy. Yeah, this is, wow. That's so gay. You guys are just afraid of how much testosterone

naturally you can create by being with your bros and cock gazing. Why are you so afraid? Cupping each other's butts. I guess I'm just not man enough, yeah. Yeah, I guess that's what it is. Open your heart. Well, anyway, this is also just to fill your body.

All right, you okay? Are you well? Yeah, with ideas for what you could do with your platforms. Oh, nice. For women, because Will doesn't do women things. At all, he doesn't do women either. Maybe I should, yeah. Well, I kinda got that vibe.

Yeah. Yeah, I don't think I'd be his type. If you have any menstrual blood workshops, I would like to make a mandala with my menstrual blood. Maybe paint it. Paint it, yeah. Give it up as an offering. Water plants.

I did know someone. And nude glasses, I think, would be a huge, huge hit. Huge for you. It's so funny you mention that. Someone suggested it. Yeah, I think you should, Kendall. They're like, yeah, Kendall, build a platform. Put it on OnlyFans, just cycle in the nude.

There was once I did wear, unfortunately, I wore a skin-toned, it was a Peloton apparel set, and I wore it shadow boxing, and then I had a black, like the mic belt, and I looked and I noticed, and I'm like, oh God. I look naked. Yeah, I'm like, I literally look naked. Kendall, if you start teaching your classes topless,

you would be the greatest fitness instructor that ever lived. Listen to Christina. The most, the richest. You charge a premium for just topless. You don't have to show your meow or your feet. Yeah. Wow. What should we call it?

Right, look at Zolo, he loves the idea. He's smiling listen by far I have so many male friends that adore you and would pay a premium to just see you do it topless Oh, by the way, let's see how let's see how I go. We could call it fit tits guys hits fit tits I mean there you go Women behind you their tits are showing too. You got all different sizes of sloppers.

Yeah. And then do we cup each other's tits? Of course you cup each other's tits. And then we partner with Will and we build an empire. That's what I'm saying. You wanna talk about your class filling up in two minutes. Fit tits will sell out way faster than this. Real fast.

Real fast. Guys, there we go. That's my plan. As a public person and you're teaching on the platform. Bit tuts, I would do that. You know, we sometimes show marginalized communities. People like this guy. I am really sick and tired of being alone in Kelso Washington.

Well, hold on. Somebody needs to come visit me. I'm tired of losing money. Okay, so he's just... What did he say? He's just putting a plea out there for someone to come visit him Oh, I know bless his little heart, but I want to know did you get some perhaps? Unwanted messages As a teacher as an instructor

Never some creepy messages. Oh, oh god, you know, I will say I have probably Let's just call it. I had a sea of cocks and my DMS It was like little I would always make a joke too I was like, oh god like cuz finally Instagram got to the point I kept reaching out to them like can I want to look at DMS from people who sometimes they say very nice messages about You know how classes helped transform their life or like a personal story. So literally talk about like dissonance,

cognitive dissonance. I'm like tearing up at like, wow, you know, you got me through my father's passing. And then it's like, Dick. And then it's like, thank you, Dick. Like it's just like, it was constant. Yeah, there was a lot of them. It's like your mom's house.

Oh, oh, I hate that. I'm looking for a white lady that's tattooed and dominant and be willing to put me in a dress and beat the shit out of me. Call me. I'm the sissy of Fremont Street. Wow. You know those guys out there like that. Yeah, I feel like some of them have tried to contact me. Kendall, you're not married yet. I'm not married yet, no. You're still out there like that. I yeah I feel like some of them have tried to contact me. Kendall you're not married yet. I'm not married yet no. You're still out there. We can Alex you

got competition honey. The sissy of Fremont Street is just calling my name. Right? God. I'll make this brief. Hi babe. My name is John Lai you shipman. I'm looking for girls for pussy. I'd love to eat pussy. At least he knows what he wants and he's very clear in communication. I will give him that. You're looking for some action. You live in Missouri. Please Call me at 157 or text me at 163. Wait, he has two different numbers for calling guests. Yeah, most of the cool guys do, yes.

But Tommy. One for two phones, one for the bitches and one for the hoes. Oh snap, dude. Remember that guy we played earlier today, the first clip? Yeah. The angry horny.

Oh yeah. So the deal is though, so there's different shades of horny on this show that we deal with. This to me repulses me, now hold on, let me finish my thought. Sure, go ahead. Because I sense the desperation.

I'm looking for girls, but yeah, here's five phone numbers, here's my Snapchat. And he talks like this. Okay, but watch this next gentleman has respiratory issues well sometimes I eat pussy he shouldn't be eating pussy with that I'm like will you be able to breathe sir? yeah well he's like we're gonna have to take breaks but I'll get you there it kind of sounds like Clint Eastwood eat at the same time

food in between. So hot. When I'm done eating you, we'll eat together. But yeah, so what's interesting is most of the time I play these fucking awesome finds and she reacts with total repulsion. Just contempt for these things. Because I sense this is desperate. It's unattractive. Yeah, it's not going to happen for him.

No. But hold on. But then she had a totally different reaction to a guy. But see if you feel something different. Okay. Be honest and be open, Kendall. I'll be honest. Listen with your heart.

Are you ready? With your emotions. Okay. I'm just going to sit back. None of us are going to say anything. We're all just going to look at you. Are you a bitch With your emotions. Okay. I'm just gonna sit back. None of us are gonna say anything. We're all just gonna look at you. Are you a bitch that loves seeing a nigga

check his dick off when I'm exhausted and tired from doing that act? Will you love the finale me of from doing that act. Will you love the finale? Me of us and my calm in your mouth. Oh! Oh! Wow!

It was, wow, it was a performance. It was. You know, I would say put a beat behind it and it kind of sounds like a sexy red song. Like, it kind of does. Okay. And here's the thing. Do you have the same repulsion to him and his energy as the two previous guys? I think there's a confidence that he has. There's a confidence that he has. I'm not, I'm still repulsed. It's like, whoa. But I will give the man credit that he's, he really stood on business

with what he was saying. Like he was like, this is what he likes and what it is. And you're like, do you, bro? It's contained rage is what it seems like. He's like, he's so intense. It's the eyes. And then I was expecting her to do the usual, and she goes, yeah, I'd watch. I'd watch and do it.

A video, not in live. No. Because I'm afraid of him and his intensity, but I'd watch him masturbate. I would. It would be okay. It's not the end of the world. Yeah. I don't think, I mean, I don't enjoy watching, I think, any-

Guys, J. They're Ds. Yeah, any men. Random truck drivers jack off on a video for you? Yeah, no, no, no. No? But I wouldn't watch. I had an unfortunate experience in Los Angeles where a homeless man literally did it. I'm like, I could go my whole life never seeing that.

Every woman has this lovely experience in LA and New York. But I wouldn't watch the sissy of Fremont do it. And I wouldn't watch the, I'm looking for girls for pussy, because, right? There's something about men. It's like the new version of looking for a man in finance i'm looking for guys for pussy five four one twenty three two four zero toka road new zealand i'm looking for people of donating baking biscuits cakes slices that are gluten free

Baking biscuits, cakes, slices that are gluten free and non-gluten free. Therefore me and my friends. He accepts all intolerances, guys. We can't afford to buy biscuits all the time. Sweating, I hate it. And home baking will be a treat. You don't like this guy now? Because, remember we were talking about that Barbie earlier?

Yes. Is he on that? Oh, for crying out loud. Is he gonna be a Ken? Right, he's not of sound, he's not, he's not not missing chromosome, right? No, I don't. Is he special, is he touched? You know what?

Let's switch this up, okay? I got something else for you, totally different, okay? First of all, this is very up. Okay. I got something else for you. Totally different. Okay. First of all, this is very funny Okay. This message is to Cody silker and if you're not him just Keep on strolling. You got energy? Yes, you. I love the mullet. Fucking Cody. To a mullet shake off. I'll start it. Oh! oh! Right?

Hell yeah, dude. Wow. It is. You drive to the end of this week to duet. I am into this content. I need to see the, did. The duet, we don't have the reply. Did Cody not reply?

I don't know. What the hell, Cody? Guys? I don't think Cody has replied. Wow. The ball's on Cody. Cody was owned, that's what it is. Yeah.

Dude, you can't, that was a really good mullet and he had movement. This is specifically. It was like a layered one too. Yeah, dog. Yeah, the bounce to it. Yeah. And obviously, I think if you put a mullet on me today,

I would just be like. No, dude. And then he'd be like, Oh, you don't know how to do it. What do I do with all this? Yeah. How long's it been? Since I've shaved it? I mean, I have a whole head. me today I would just be like and then you don't know how to do it yeah how long has it been since I've shaved it I mean I like Kendall no no I have a full head of hair I just do this because I like it's an aesthetic choice yeah I just think it looks better hair so fucking gay

no no you wear it well. You wear it well. Thank you, thank you. It's been years. I don't even remember. Okay. This, first of all, don't fucking act like you miss hair. I don't.

You know what, I never, it wasn't one of my things with dudes. Like when I was dating, I never even noticed if a man was bald. I really didn't. I don't care. I'll say this. Teeth are more important than hair. Oh God, yes, teeth are a big thing.

You figure out what bothers you by what you put in. And I've been offered free hair restoration surgeries. They're like, we'll do it for free. And I'm like, nah, I don't care enough. It ruined the vibe. It's just not, yeah. I don't care enough. And I think, yeah, listen, you're in a good crew good crew like they're like we'll give you a free body restoration and make you have the body you want

I'd be like, okay. I'll say let's go. Yeah, I'm sculpt me now. Yeah No, I mean it look ball like a bald guy is a strong energy. You have a skill is it's very masculine You have mr. Clean you have a little Blunderfeld. Mm-hmm. Right? Yeah, the piss drinker. The piss guy. He's bald. Yep, yep, and he is, I think if you're bald, maybe it's more of a struggle if you're bald

and you can't grow facial hair. That's true. That, yeah. I wonder- I'll say this, I look very, very sick when I shave my face. Like, sickly? It's very sad.

Yeah, you're like, oh, this guy is- Are you okay? He's in hospice care. Yeah, look, it's like, it's not, and I'm gonna be doing it soon. I can't wait, I haven't seen your face in years. How long is it? Yeah, I have a family friend.

He never shaved his mustache, and then for his 50th birthday or 60th birthday, they did. And it was a costing. It's so funny how for certain men, that facial hair is everything. You need it. Yeah. Okay, I don't know if you've seen this,

but I've been so excited to show you this this is a real interaction abroad just see how this how this plays out this is my wife wife yes sir what's up i think that's so nice so healthy but So nice, so healthy man. This is so healthy. What do you mean? He is too... She is less healthy than you. Oh no!

Less healthy. Less, not too. Oh okay. What do you mean? Healthy means... She will be disappointed. Why will she be disappointed? Healthy means, what do you say, she will be disappointed. Why will she be disappointed?

Healthy means fat. Oh. Too fat. Not that. Oh, God. Oh. I love it. I know you like it.

Here you go. Oh, foreigners. Don't mind, don't mind. This is not good Pashtun hospitality. Yes, yes. No, great hospitality. I don't think so. What do you say?

I don't think so. Why? Because you can't say this. This is not nice. No, it is general talk. Not so... No, this is rude. So he's just on a train and this guy's like,

this is your wife? That's a big broad for you. You're like, you don't match. Damn. But in every other country, they actively bad shame people if you're overweight. Remember the Korean? You know what the Koreans do? Oh, wait, I heard about this.

At the park, they have this, it's like an arch, right? And there are slots. Oh, I've seen this, yes. And then it has writing, and it's like, if you can fit through this, you're healthy. And if you can fit through, if it's this size, you're not healthy, and then like, if you have like a 36 inch waist, they're like, you're a pig. And like, yeah, it's very-

No, it's a public shaming. Yes, public shaming, yeah. Wow, I'm all for it, yeah, it's very- It's a public shaming. Yes, public shaming, yeah. Wow. I'm all for it, Kendall. I don't know. Cause I'm black, like when I visit my relatives in Hungary or wherever, they'll be like, no, you're too fat, this is not good.

They just tell you straight up. Yeah, same. Italians are the same way too. Yeah. I think it's very interesting in America. We're the only ones that really- Oh, yeah, yeah. We're like, yeah.

That's it. Wow. Oh man man I guess like height height doesn't really they don't really care they're just like stay the same with yeah you can get taller you just can't get there are no different body types here just just be this period but it is in like my half my family is from Peru and they're like you get off the plane they're like hello fat ass. They are super direct.

I would have not guessed Peru. Yeah, my mom's Peruvian. What's your dad? American. Okay. Yeah. I was like, yeah, I knew from wow, because he doesn't look all well, you just don't don't look Latin at all.

Yeah, I know. I would have guessed Irish. I have a, I do have a lot of Irish. He's super crackery. By the way, you're so white, Tom. Like what? And this is his festive outfit. He said this is his good mood outfit today.

I like it. The colors, do you like the colors he chose? Your white shirt for the white guy. Do you like this fucking vampire look? I actually loved it I can't let her on the way in yeah Yeah, we got the memo. I'm wearing like This is the Eddie monster I love the way you did your hair this is the fucking coolest jacket

It's badass. You're so jealous. I was a good I was a little emo kid and I love all the weirds I love Tim Burton all that stuff. I look like you know where to get heroin. That's what you look like. Good, I wish. From Dracula. Yeah. Tim Burton, that's so, that's a, I had this thought last night, I was laying in bed.

The waiting room, so I have to go to radiation after this, so I'm like all nervous, but the waiting rooms are so depressing. Here we go. Cause they're always like beige and there's always old people, old guys with their bruised legs and their dry skin. And lots of moaning. Lots of moaning. There's always brunts.

And I'm like always the youngest one there and I hate it. And I was thinking today how much better it would be if Tim Burton designed the waiting room. Like, you know, like in Beetlejuice. With like the weird like skinny weird like tiny little shrunken heads and the stripes, black and white stripes and like yeah, I'm with you. I love, I've always loved Tim Burton's movies. I would pay for a themed radiation center. Like you already feel like that anyway.

You might as well just commit to the bit. It's depressing. That's exactly what it is. That's what it feels like to go get radiation on your tits. You're just sitting there on deaths weighing less. Christina has radiation for cancer treatment. I just got even a more serious thing. I had my Invisalign taken off,

and I gotta tell you that shit sucks. I'm not gonna lie. I had an, okay, we're not comparing radiation at all. Yeah, we should. But you are. Go ahead. I cannot. It's terrible. I cannot relate to radiation. I'm not gonna say I wish I could. I hope I don't have to one day, but I do. I cannot- It's terrible. I cannot relate to radiation. I- I-

I'm not gonna say I wish I could. I hope I don't have to one day, but I do have family that's been through it. But you've had a misaligned? Tom, I feel like an asshole right now. No, no, no. But have you had a misaligned? God, Christine, I'm so sorry. Yes, I have. Home wrecker! It's worse than cancer. It's worse than cancer. Oh, bullshit!

It is. It is. It is. We- We definitely- It's painful. It's very painful. But you haven't had a menstrual cramp, so I don't know about that. It's more serious than what you've been through. I haven't done that yet either. Twice. God.

Epidural. I'll put. Yeah, but I still felt the contractions. It's not weak, it's not weak. Give me the fucking needle. Invisalign against either of those. Is where I'm at, yeah. But no, Invisalign are,

because the sick part is they ache for so long, and then. When they take them off. And then it feels like they spring back. Oh my God, and they're scraping, and then suction, and you feel the nerves shooting up in your mouth and you're like, fucking give me chemo. This is the worst thing I've ever felt in my life.

These crybaby pussies, isn't that right? Yeah, you have no idea. You can never talk until you get Invisalign. Oh wait, so you're Hungarian? You know what, Kendall? She is. I was actually. No, no, no, go.

I know, I know, I deserved it. You know what? I deserved it. You're what I deserve your trouble. I That was I was tagged in that so many times your trouble Yeah, I know I kind of am no you're amazing. We love you. We're so proud. I'm good for you Do you want to show her anything you want to show her? No, no, oh my tick-tock. Yeah Yeah, I got it. I do have to go. Okay, I gotta go Okay, so I don't know if you know my tick tock curations I do like to showcase marginalized communities that don't have a voice. I give them a voice on tick tock

That's that's I mean, I'm sorry Okay, let's see. Okay. Here we go Hey angel There you go. Actually, we pulled that from Kendall's DMs. It looks familiar, guys. Did I submit that one? I don't know how that makes you feel, but this is going to be a roller coaster ride.

Okay, I'm ready. Matthew and I don't drink, but we do drink when it's all inclusive. This is our first drink of the night. Oh, no. I love these. Coke with Malibu. Good suggestion. This is our second drink of the day. Pina coladas. I really don't drink that much at all anymore.

I did a little sober bit for a while. It was good for my mental. Of course she doesn't. Look how she looks. No, but I occasionally love a spicy mar. I love when she's like, we don't drink but we do and it's all inclusive, which is actually the worst time to drink

because they're putting the cheapest ass with love. It's the cheapest dog and it's all sugar. I'm like, no, no, no, drink when you're at like those, when you're in Europe. Headache booze. Yeah, no, no, they're gonna be spinning before they even get out of the pool. And dehydration.

I know, just cooked on the beach. My anti-gravity for Magic Kingdom having a spooky treat. We're having the candy corn soft serve, something. The sweet corn soft serve. With with butter scotch shell and candy corn. Hi everyone, we're at the Best Contemporary Resort where we picked up this beautiful chocolate mint cookie at Bayview Gifts. Because it's a merchandise location, you get your pass order discount on any snacks, cookies and snacks. Just so you know, you're reacting completely the way you're supposed to.

I will tell you, she reminds me... I love that there's spooky people, because I vibe with that, so that's cool. I'm like, okay, sort of brethren. But she reminds me of Squeaky Fromm, you know? I love True Crime, and I read Helter Skelter in the fifth grade. Oh my god it Seventh grade my brain chemistry did you watch the Lacey Peterson doc oh my god. Yes Such an asshole such an area about the sister being like yes, you know we're trying to get him out Here's my theory. I think she wants to fuck him. Oh brother. Yeah. Yeah, really this was his sister-in-law. Oh

Of course she's in love with yeah, it's that weird behind bars charismatic. He's a total narcissist. He's a total sociopath He's attractive unfortunately, that's why that's how they can do it. That's how the syrup colors do it So was um, what's his face Bundy? Yeah Yeah, but um That you're what cuz you know, we already remembered this story like so hazily You're like, I remember that so and then you're watching it and you get already remembered this story like so hazily you're like I remember that So and then you're watching it and you get to see interrogation footage, and it's the day It's the day that it's Christmas Eve. Mm-hmm, and he's reported her missing and he's like yeah

When the boat out he goes away? But I bought one today. I hope you guys you know I hope we find her and they're like All right, so he's like yeah that would be Tom's confession no hey Christina's missing no I would not Tom your wife is missing what my wife no my wife very borat that's better, babe. And then you look up and you go... And then you text your side chick. Yeah. It is wild. The house is empty.

I don't like it. Oh, dude. It's not nice. Here's the good thing though, is you would haunt his ass so bad. Would I though, Kendall? Would I? I'd just move on. In the afterlife? You'd be like, there's would I? I'd just move on. In the afterlife? You'd be like, there's hotter men in the afterlife.

Fuck you, I'm gone. Yeah, yeah, that's, exactly. I've always wondered, I'm like, if you get murdered and it's a terrible way to go, like, if you get to the other side, whatever's over there, is it like, listen, you came out, I'm sorry, how it ended for you, here's your pick of the litter.

She's ready for the afterlife guy today, so don't even fuck him. She's ready for Patrick afterlife guy today. So don't even fuck it up. She's ready for Patrick Swayze in Ghosts. Who is smart? Aren't we all? God. She's fantasizing. He is on the other side.

Oh, for sure. Patrick Swayze. God. We dance together, the dirty dancing. Nobody puts baby in a corner. Nobody puts Christina in a corner, in a ditch. I'm gonna date. Oh, I got it.

Let's talk about this. Oh, no, who is it? No, you got it, you got it. Just say it, who is it? No, why? Say it, it's on the tip of your tongue. I like weirdos, dark. Yeah. Dark weirdos.

I feel like you'd go for like. I can't say that. I had a massive crush on Jim Morrison. I was a weird kid. Right, like that kind. I like that, she's on my vibe, yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Young, but do you get to be young in the afterlife?

I don't wanna be aged the age I am. I'm like, I wanna be Kendall. Like when you die, do you get to be young in the afterlife? I don't want to be the age I am Like I like when you die do you die at like do you do go to the afterlife in in the age that you were? That's I hope not. Yeah, I would choose 28 which I think you're 20 20 20 perfect 20 It's a good one. I'm past that now Leonardo DiCaprio will no longer date me. No, I don't want that. Oh my god I'm I know I should be put to pasture. Yeah. She's an old hag. Gross.

Okay, I got it. Sorry, you gotta go. We gotta finish up. Oh. No, no. Okay, I don't understand what's turning you off about this. This guy licked his fingers. I got it, I can't.

I just, I'd rather have. just. I'm like buddy you are not Channing Tatum. Okay. Like he's trying to give match my vibes and rather cut both my tits off again. Also the 2005 sunglasses are getting me. Please I can't. It's rough. We are at the airport and check this out. I have this amazing buckwheat salad that I just made. What do we got? Look at this. I have my buckwheat salad on the go. Bunch of sprouts. At the airport. Buckwheat.

In a plastic bag. She brought a trash bag. The plastic bag is what's throwing me with the latex gloves. She has latex gloves as she travels. I would call TSA and be like, you need to fucking arrest this person. But how did she get that through?

That's more than three ounces of dressing. What are you? That's some bullshit. Healthy traveling. Where are we at? We are in Miami Airport. That's why. Yeah. That airport is fucking insane. Yeah, I'm happier with this. People walking by. Is that a buckwheat salad?

Like, and here is my in a gross. What in the fuck? That is six ounces. Oh no. That did not. I'm gonna use my hands. The way she's like putting her. I think she might be in my Hi sweetie. That was a great tag. Hi sweetie. This guy's the best. Hi sweetie. Just to everybody. Strong black coffee.

Best drink of the day. There she is. Best drink of the day. Imagine if she talked one of your classes, one of your topless classes. I think I should hire her. Should I send her a recruiting message? Absolutely Are you ready to be fit? This is definitely New York I want a watermelon pussy. I want a watermelon pussy. I want a sweet, sweet, sweet pussy.

Hit it. Why does he have to hold his foot up? I don't know why he has to put the water... I think he's trying to get you to imagine that he's like representing what he wants to see, which is a woman like that. I guess he's manifesting in that respect. And we salute you, sir, and all of the firefighters and after you tonight.

I'm sure they're proud to have you as the spokesman. Again, I think it could be a sexy Red song. Could be, Watermelon Pussy is a really catchy track. Yeah, you're right. Her chapsticks, she has one that's called Booty Hole Brown. That's really nice. Yeah. That's lovely.

I do have to go. Yeah, take off. I love you. Kendall Tool, thank you for coming. I do have to go guys. I love you. Thanks for coming Kendall. Thanks for coming. Follow her at KendallTool. Check out the Wholeheartedly with Kendall and Gaylee podcast. Thanks so much for coming in today.

Thank you guys. See you guys next week. I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, Motherfuckers, motherfuckers, fuck all you motherfuckers and you assholes Motherfuckers, motherfuckers, fuck all you motherfuckers and you assholes Motherfuckers, motherfuckers, come on let's get out Scum sucking dogs, scum sucking dogs, come on you little dogs, skunk sucking dogs That made you feel bad. Yep. Not the fucking, that's my pee hole, that's where the spit comes out of, Mark. No. That doesn't freak you out? This does. This does. Yes. Wow. Embrace the natural power of cannabis this fall season with Vaya. It's for you. Da da da da da da da da da. It's for you. Embrace the natural power of cannabis this fall season with VIA.

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