Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - Tom's New Glasses | Your Mom's House Ep. 722

Episode Date: August 23, 2023

This week on YMH, Tom Segura and Christina P discuss Tom’s new transition glasses, and how Nadav feels about them, give an update on Nadav running the New York City Marathon, respond to emails about ED being cap, and reenact Rudy Giuliani’s scandalous audio transcripts. They watch videos of a cool truck stop proposition, more videos from the King and the “Columbia Cool Guy,” a pregnant non-binary person, another video from the infamous Nair hair removal guy, and some TikToks from an extremely productive mom, plus much more!https://tomsegura.com/tourhttps://christinaponline.com/tour-dateshttps://store.ymhstudios.com/https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast

This week on your mom's house and he was mad that my mom died during his vacation. Standard, that's a good move. Why do you have to sniff it first? I don't want to give it the sniff test. Like I feel like you can visualize that. If you made me wake up at 4am for our vacation flight, I would fucking put a bullet in your head. Welcome, welcome, welcome to your mom's house. Come into you from Austin, Tejas, now in 4K. It's your mom's house, Palmcast.

I'm Tom Ham sandwich-s Segura sitting here with Christine. How you doing? I'm feeling good, I'm feeling jazzed up. I love the heat, I'm out there like a lizard. You're swimming in the lakes. Not a big deal to heat. I think all you have to do is stay indoors six to eight hours a day and you're fine.

You're fine. Well, there is a nice window between 4 a.m. and 6.30 a.m. That feels good. Perfect. And then at night. And then at window between 4 a.m. and 6 30 a.m. That feels good. Perfect. Yeah, and then at 9 a.m. So what do you find about after 10 p.m. and also feels good outside? Yeah, it's totally fine. It's totally fine. Great. So, okay, we have some dates to Prague because we're gonna both be doing shows. Why don't you go ahead and start? Well, pressure. You are going to be in Toronto.

Toronto. Your home nation. I know September. September 7th at the Blooming Apple Theatre. I'm so pumped to do Canada finally. Yeah. September 8th. Jizz and Peg. Winnipeg Canada. September 14th through 16th. Comedy Vax. Denfadowntown. Those tickets are like almost like,

we're gonna add shows. I think Summit Showroom at the Venetian Resort in Los Vegas, baby. See if you get into gambling. October 7th, baby. Yeah, I do. I'm definitely gonna go see some strippers and stuff. Wise guys, short like Titties Poo-Tah.

You on the few. And then San Jose Imperov, October 15th, and then comedy club on state in Madison, Jizz, Conson, October 26th. ChristinaPonline.com for tickets. Also, if you haven't purchased my lipstick, please do so, because it's fucking rad and everyone likes it. Awesome. Um, where am I going to be? I have a couple of shows coming up, the Chelsea at the Cosmopolitan in Las Vegas, Nevada.

I'm doing some shows there. Stop fucking eating, fatty. And I am also going to do a show at the Falls View Casino Resort in Niagara Falls. That's in Ontario on the Canadian side. Hell yeah, God. That's in November. You can get tickets.

I don't think there's many left. So if you want to get to that show, you should probably get those tickets now. Ontario, that's where your mommy was born. Winter, beautiful winter. I'm a winter native. Beautiful. I've been there.

That's why I hear it. It's on the show at Caesar's Windsor. It's fucking stunning. That's what I hear. It's on the show at Caesar's Windsor, it's fucking stunning. That's what I hear, it's like a- You're from an absolutely majestic place. Yeah, there's no irony. Yeah. Like I told, it makes sense that I was born here.

Oh, I mean, I've been to some cities, and I'll tell you Ontario Windsor is at the top. What's the equivalent in America? To Windsor. To Windsor. New York. You know. Paris, Milan. Yeah to Windsor New York Paris Milan yeah, Windsor yeah, no I'm being serious cuz I haven't been back What's the equivalent of which at all Kansas maybe really? Yeah, I don't know Toledo, Ohio

Oh Toledo. Yeah sure. I've been there. I get that reference. Yeah springfield, Missouri Paris, Bergo, Ohio. Short pump. Short pump. In Virginia. Yeah. Shout out to Short Pump. I remember it. Yeah. I'm so pumped to be here though. It's nice to see you.

To see your beautiful face. Yeah, it's great to be here in the, in the studio in Texas, doing the show, not having to come in six days in a row so that we can do other stuff. It's great to be doing it at this pace. And a normal leisurely pace. It's awesome. So much fun.

I think everybody likes doing the show like this. So let's go ahead and open the show. Oh! There's a white man that is look why he's walking towards me Right now I don't know for How you doing? How you doing, this sir? I'm good. My name is Bobby. How you doing, Bobby? Yeah, what's that? What? No sir. Yeah. Welcome to your mom's house

Mom's a girl And Christina Pancantino Yo, yo, hello Momma! Now man poor Bobby I know how often has it happened to you? Not enough. Not enough. I think there's more. Oh. You're a trog guy?

There's my trog is fine. You're my trog is cool. Oh yeah. My trog is fine. Nice. Older gentleman. I'm my truck's cool. Yeah, my trucker strong. Nice older gentleman. I'm just on the phone with my manners. All right, yeah, I'm bisexual.

I love women. Oh, yeah, well, I'm not anything like that. That's all right. I didn't know. I had a guy from Fox, um, chose now, which is me. Yeahose now, what's with you? Yeah. Well, one, we discussed last week

the bisexual men are cats. I know. So this is really interesting. I see then he does the thing where he's like, I like women too. Yeah. You know what's interesting is like, he's like, I said you're dick.

And the guy's like, no, he's like, I don't mean I'm still like chicks. Yeah. Yeah. Cause he's trying to relate to the guy. Like, you like the same stuff I like. You like the men. I had a boss like that. I had a boss like, he wasn't, relate to the guy. You like the same stuff? I like it. You like the mess. I had a boss like that.

I had a boss. He wasn't bought. He was openly gay. And he was like, I was very young. I was 21. And he's like, I was like, oh yeah. I mean, he was flamboyant, you know? Like very, like, swishy.

And he was like, yeah, you know, like you like football? And I was like, yeah, I do like football. He's like, yeah, it's like. So I like, you know, it's watching football with guys because you know, it's like you watch the game. I'll suck your dick, you drink a beer. It's like, and I was like, cool. He was waiting for me to be like, for real, you know, and I was like, uh-huh. But when he puts it that way in his defense, it is like a nice bonus. Like it's like, he's like, just come do all your favorite stuff at my house.

Yeah, it'd be cool if you want to come over and do that. Like it'd be no more thing. It'd be no sweat. I like cool ranch Doritos, I like football, and then you get to come. Yeah, yeah, no. But it does have a cool sense. Yeah, I was just like, yeah,

every part of it sounds cool, except for the fact that you're a guy That's the only hang up I have here. God. You're so closed minded. I know I know anyway Thank you. That's a good day. Future out there. Future out there. I'm more left in the world. Okay. See you later, Bob.

And what's cool about Bob is like, Bob's an older, he's wearing his house slippers. That's what I'm saying. He's that he lives in one of those houses. Yeah. And he dressed up real nice. I got that guy's face. He wore his nicest wife, beater, and the house slippers. And his box are short.

He saw this gentleman and ran out as fast as he could. Well, the way that it went down, this wasn't like, oh my God, I'm going to say something I've never said before. Right. Bobby's always like, oh, there's a truck up there. Hold on. He has a routine. Right.

Where he's like, it's like a dick. And then obviously sometimes they're like, yeah. I think what sucks, no offense. Yeah. But I mean, you know, Bobby's not the most enticing what the guy to look at. I mean, I think I'd be like, what's up, Unk? Like, you know, I mean, like he looks like,

he looks like somebody's, he's a grandfather. But you know what, you always say to me, when I find the proposed suitor to be physically unattractive, you know what you always say to me? But imagine Bob's skills. Yeah.

Imagine the years of Succ-and-Tracker Dick that this guy has under his box or brief belt. Let me see all that time. Right, like you're looking at a man who spent his whole life sucking trucker dick that this guy has under his box or brief belt. Let me see all that time. Right. Like you're looking into man who spent his whole life sucking trucker dick. I don't know. Maybe out of it. He's bisexual. He's by, yeah. Who knows. But I think in his case, he's like a suburban married guy. I think it's a lot of you know. Yeah. Okay. You come. I think it's kind of like that.

Like he's not cool. I come I think it's like kind of like that like he's not cool I don't think he's cool. I mean he's so mad about back babe. No, he's like hey hey Can I suck your day? I'm bobby. What's up, Bobby? So your car, you know, I'm like what? It's that's so cool. How come lesbians don't offer that like I feel like that's such an exclusively male because Behavior because you know why there's also guys who have said yes to this who are like the fuck did I because men Run with that that poison inside that makes you do something where you're like what?

Did I just like Bobby suck my because I can't right? There's no woman who's like I can't believe I let that girl eat me out. It just doesn't happen. Right. Because like, he, so what he's hoping to do, Bobby's what you're saying is. He's helping to get you when you're heated. Yeah, he's going to strike gold. You're worked up.

Yeah. You're like, God, I need to fucking, yeah, just to fucking, yeah. Yeah, just to fucking, yeah. Anybody, I'll take a Bobby. Yeah. Yeah. Right place at the right time. Yeah.

But, you know, and also in his defense, it's a numbers game. It is. And Bobby's playing, and he's playing to win. And he didn't seem defeated at all. He restaurants another guy there, and he's like, I know the guy in West Virginia sucked his dick. And he's like, okay, it's good. But it does help his sales pitch, because I'd be like,

oh, really? Another guy did it. Was that guy straight, too? Jim got it. Yeah, I feel like, okay. That was great. The guy's like, what? like That was great the guys like what Cock huh happy rest taking up in the cap. Yeah, get some rest before you drive dangerous to drive if you're not rested

He makes good points and he does it in broad daylight, which is crazy like this isn't even a night Oh, no, this is fucking 2.30 in the afternoon. Yeah. Where's he gonna say? He was just gonna come. Like could you help? Could you help pull me up? He's like fragile.

He's an old man. He's so fragile. Yeah, you could die if you came in his mouth too hard. Could you lift me up here? I mean, imagine this guy could just, yeah, he really could. If he felt like it, take Bobby by that strand of hair that's flat over the top and just pull that.

Oh yeah. Yeah, really fucking. And the thing is too, like this is a residential neighborhood. You know the neighbors have seen Bobby. Oh yeah, do I have Bobby's out sucking cocks again? Look at him, shameless. You shameless old man. Yeah.

He just shuffles that. They know, everyone knows Bobby. This is what I would tell Bobby. I would try a different appearance, you know? I would try to, I honestly think you're right. If he came out wearing a nice collard shirt, maybe tucked into a nice pair of khakis, or so I don't know, just clean it up.

Clean it up, put on some cologne shoes. Yeah. Close toe shoes, close heel shoes. Nice button down with a collar. Yeah, excuse me sir. Yeah, I don't really know. Okay, it looks like you're dick and like I might consider it. I mean, I don't think this guy was ever going to

but somebody out there. Yeah, he's like, you look like a normal sane person. Yeah, I mean, you know who wears, or excuse me, who is also a trucker, who might, you never know. Well, good morning, Mike. Queens. How we do? Drives and shine, put them feet on the ground. Let's take cover.

They got one. It's always hovering over there. For sure that day and have fun. I got it. Come on. Pull them covers off, slap that big butt and get out of bed. You know, I gotta say, I can't help but think that there's a path for me looking just like this. You know? That's true, you're a few bad decisions.

I mean, it's not far. No. No. That's the ghost of Christmas future if you stop doing whatever you like. It's kind of the ghost of Christmas past. I feel like That's me in 2016. Oh, yeah, yeah, I mean I didn't have his pep to start the day Get your feet on the ground. I was always like leave me the fuck alone, but

Yeah, I don't I can't you are like his POV animal queen today. You are the queen of the day. My big titted animal queen. Wow. Beautiful. That's my name. I love you guys. I will talk to you soon. Have a good day.

I love when he does the good morning from above, because this is his famous like this is his P.O.V. What? Yeah. When he gave his acting class, which was unbelievable. I will say I'm digging the pink frames. I like them. It does make him look more youthful and healthier.

It looks like his eyes are a little more open instead of like sodium bloat. I hope he got his feet on the ground and got running, you know, got his day started. Yeah, you know, it's funny discussing what kind of glasses he's wearing because my dad's eyes have really settled in. So where I wear glasses kind of all the time now.

I like it. And the other day I'm here in the studio. Yeah. And I go outside to get some from the car I'm talking to the dove and he's like, he goes, are those transition lenses? Because they start to change tint and I go, yeah, he goes, very cool. Wow.

And I go, what's wrong with that? He's like, no, they're just very cool. I go, I know what you're doing. I'm not like some fucking guy who doesn't understand your code. But to explain transitional is where you go from? Yeah, so the same pair of glasses, are you, you can wear them to read and to see, and then they become sunglasses, they tint, right? So I went and I got my prescription,

they gave me multiples, and they're like, have you had Transition Glass? I go, no, they go, you should try them. So I did it with this pair, right? And then he's like, do you know somebody cool that does them? I'm like, yeah, I know somebody. He's like, oh, how old are they?

All right, go. They're younger than me. He goes, really? And I go, yeah, he goes, that's very cool, man. And I go, okay. So then today I show up. He's like, oh, there's still a little tension here. Yeah.

Cool. And you know, it's like, wow. I've been thinking about it a lot. I've been thinking about it a lot. And it sucks that I feel like we have to get to this point, but I think it's fair to say that Nadav is anti-trans. Like he's just an anti-trans guy who totally holds that. Totally.

And his heart, like I think it sucks to be Somebody that is full of hatred in their heart to me too and yeah, I mean I didn't want to I didn't want to show about acceptance. Yeah, I didn't want to To come to this, but you guys know what to do. Yeah, it was the funniest thing to be because I We had that exchange as you were leaving. And then the next morning, before you say hi, you're just like, hey, what the fuck's wrong with transitional class? I'm like, fuck, don't start this.

And then he goes like, he's like, hey, and he, and he's pretty cool. And he, do you like transition? And then like, and he's like, huh? Is that what you're wearing out? Okay, that's cool. That's cool. So, and he's like, huh, is that what you're wearing out? Okay, that's cool. That's cool. So, and he said, and he is not anti-trans.

No, well, let me ask you to have something. Do you have a problem with the frame colors? Frame's red. Okay, so you're pro black, but you're anti-trans. That's what you're saying. I'm, I'm, look man, what it, I'm pro, I'm pro whatever makes you comfortable. And if that's what makes you comfortable, I think that's... But you are pro black. Very cool.

These are black. You're cool with that. I love black frames. Okay, but you are anti-trans. Anti-transitional lenses, yes. Let's not spell it out. You're anti-trans. I have to spell it out. I think people are going to understand. I was actually going to ask you a follow-up question. Is it about trans? It's

about the head gear that you got got on. The head gear that I got going on. So you know I'm wearing something else. Yeah, your head gear. It's called this head gear. It's gear on your head. Your transitional length. Your facial accessory. Oh, okay, okay. So you know, I'm running a marathon soon. Yeah, we're going to get to that. And I don't like contact lenses. Right. So I was wondering, do you have any good recommendations

for sport straps or other stuff? Yeah, there's a strap. Yeah, yes, yes. I can get you. I can do you. Can I get you a strap? He's trying to make fun of you. Of course he is.

Like, strap your whole thing. But here's a thing. With every beat of this conversation, it's somebody trying to dance around the fact that they're anti-trans. Like, he... Listen. I wouldn't spell it all out. I would just say Ndava's anti-trans. Let me ask you something else. Before you jump on this, let me ask you something else. Knowing that you are who you are. We're learning you are not. Let me ask you this. How do you feel about this? Getting pregnant and having a baby

doesn't make me a woman because women don't own pregnancy just like they don't own periods. Now this doesn't mean that motherhood or womanhood doesn't exist because it very much doesn't. It's sacred. And you know what else is sacred to? Trans and non-binary bodies and experiences. How does that make you feel? I think that's great. Oh so now you're

okay with trans. Trans people that can give babies I think that's a miracle that's great. I want to say what's on your head? I feel like we've called out like a senator. Right your other. Yeah you found found this guy second cock in the bathroom. Well, now he's backpedal. And he's like, no, it's fine. I'm pro-trans. I'm for trans doing what they want. Well, maybe he needs to, I don't know,

I think you need to issue. Well, I think it's good news because- An apology video. Oh, for sure. An apology video. And not only that, we've already made the t-shirt. We have a t-shirt. You can find it in the store. It's in the store at the moment. This episode comes out so it'll be there right now. And- Where are you sure? Take your photograph, tag your show.

The doll was like, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, I wouldn't spell it all out. I would just keep it trans. Yeah, we all use the shorthand. Yeah. Yeah. I can't tie trans. Yeah, you got my ass down here. That's good. Cause I did tell you, I give you a hint today, right? No, you did. And this surpassed expectations did. What did I tell you? You're like, you're never gonna fucking forget today.

The day I learned that was anti-transitional lenses. Yeah, again, you're so many words. Yeah, so. Wait, do you prove of white lenses too, or he only likes white? I don't know. He's pro-black. Are you pro-brown?

Do you have any other color? I mean, look, I hate you glasses. I mean, but I don't know. No, but given the color lenses. I mean, look, I hate you glasses. I mean, but I don't know, but given the color, given the other colored lenses, I mean, frames, frames. Yeah, I had some like tortoise shell lenses a while ago, but you don't have any more? No, cause my prescription upgrade,

so I just got new frames. Do you hate all the other colors? No, I don't. Is that why? Oh, they don't work hard. Yeah. That's why he thinks that other colors don't work as hard So like browns don't work as hard and they don't wake up early enough

Pink's and yellows And his anti-trans he's anti-trans God who knew I had no idea he was anti-trans. I've ever worked with somebody's anti-trans not in this office Not open the way Jose and why am I just not firing the person who you're saying is anti-trans. I've ever worked with somebody anti-trans. Not open. Not open. No way, Jose. And why am I just not firing the person who you're saying you say anti-trans? Can I tell you what really, what bothers me about this video? It's not even the content. It's his stupid face.

He's so happy. He's like, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm. Women don't own periods. Mm, mm,'t own periods. That's a stupid facial expression, like calm down. Fucking weird bodies are awesome. So funny.

God, I'm a little bit of a great time to be alive. And my experience as a birthing person is very bad, as a woman's experiences to motherhood. Stop making eye contact. My experience as a birthing person is just as very bad as a woman's experiences to mother I stopped making eye contact experience as a birthing person takes nothing away from the experience of a woman becoming a mother And when we ask for language that represents us

We're not asking women to change what they call refer to themselves as We're simply asking for language that changes what you call us. Because not only women give birth, trans and non-binary people give birth as well. Yeah, I'm a non-binary person, and I gave birth to my baby. You're usually a drunk, like a fucking alcoholic. It looks like Bert, very good.

It looks like, it's exactly what Bert looks like. Literally, yeah. Well, I'm going to start calling Bert a birthing person. I'm doing my show with my birthing person, friend and co-host. Yeah, I don't like the amount of eye contacts. So menacing. I think the most menacing thing is the tone of voice. And we're not asking for anything, but for a birthing person's experience to be included.

Okay. They do now. There's always these specific things. Put a little base in your voice, fuck boy. All right. If he's a boy, wait, would it? Anyway. It's a non-binary, fucking birthing person.

It's so funny because on the talks, there's always specific cadences to stuff. It's either this super light voice, like, and it's just because I have an experience. It doesn't mean that I'm vegan, and I'm not taking away from your experience. I'm not taking away from you. There's like that cadence, or I wake up at 4.25,

and all my belongings are packed in the car. I get the kids in the van and we head to world, whatever, Disney world. Everything's exciting and the kids are pumped. There's only two ways to talk on TikTok. You can use the microphone. It's so weird. I got a job at workout and the top guy to does his workout.

I got a lot. Yeah, I've been playing her on where my mom's at. There's a woman who's like hyper, like organized. I did enjoy. So much anxiety. She's so, she's so amped up. So fucking amped. And she's like, you know, I start my day at 4.30.

I'll wake up, I did my workout, and then I eat, and then my husband does his workout, and then I make everybody's bed. I make six beds. And that feels great. And then I look at our tentary, and then we go to the, and we get in the car, and we go, and you're like, Jesus Christ.

And I look at the comments, and all the comments were like, Jesus Christ. This looks like a fucking nightmare. And then her response was she's like, takes a special person, like she's very positive. Positive, that's it. Even at people who are like, it's wrong with you. Can I send this to you so that people can understand, do you have it, Nadav? From where my mom's at? I'm pulling up.

Jesus Christ. So like, she has to to her credit, she does have four boys. So I understand you have to be organized. But she's like, here's how you maximize your time. And Disney we're all Florida. And then they're all like, Pond, and she's like, I like up before I 15. I get into 20 minute workout.

That's all I need. I read for two whole minutes, and then I wake up the kids. And that two minutes thing is real. I read for two minutes. Two minutes. So this just makes your brain go. I read for two minutes. Two minutes. So this just makes your brain go, oh, I still know how to read.

Because you're not like really taking in information and you're not retaining a lot in two minutes of reading. But that's just a day around the house. And then I did a deeper time. I do language learning apps for longer than that, you know? Of course, you should have the toilet for longer. Yeah. But so I've been doing a deep dive on her

because I'm obsessed. You have her. Yeah, you wanna see her? Yeah, I'm fucking, I'm all in. Duncan trust on mine. In 2006, this is how we get early park entry to Magic Kingdom! Right before I lay out our outfits, custom park tour. The night before.

Five a.m. Ryan's already worked out. Time for me to get up, work out, and get going. Just a 20 minute workout and I feel like a million bucks. Buy 45 and I get myself ready with festive Disney makeup. Don't forget those many ears, especially Disney red. Six 45, I'll wake up the boys. They are pumped for Magic Kingdom. Six 58 a.m.

We booked a virtual queue for Tron. Got it, boarding group, and a Gini Plus for Big Thunder. Then I'll pack up my best kept secret, my custom park touring guide, and throw it in the folder. Do the boys hair gel and we are out. The 10 for seven, we order an Uber and head to. The Uber has arrived and we strategically get dropped off in front of Disney's contemporaries.

Oh, exhausted. The best way to get you to Magic Kingdom ahead of the crowds. 720 AM and we are first in line at the Kiosk. We take a quick photo then. 730 and I let us into Main Street, USA. Head straight to Cinderella's castle for an empty park family pick.

We line up to rope drop seven dwarfs mind train that at 8.20 a.m. the park is officially open. Wait, no longer than 10 minutes for one of the best rides in the park. It's 8.30. It's 8.30 in the videos like, I we can't do this anymore. Like the algorithm was like stop, stop, stop, stop too much. Yeah, by 8.30, she's already done the whole park. It's amazing. You did one that you showed me of her where she was like, I have a family that has a printed out itinerary for an outing.

Well, she calls it the roundup. Like so she. Oh, that's right. They do the roundup and I buy the meal. I buy grocery shopping for the round. The things that are on the roundup. You have that one too? Holy shit.

Fuck it ain't it. This one's a different. This one's their morning routine. Well, let's see. This is where she reads for two minutes. Hold on. Okay. This is the best one. Not before boys, this is our summer morning routine.

It's Monday, I wake up at 5.15 a.m. I immediately put my workout clothes on. Immediately. And make my bed. I try to read for a couple minutes every morning. I drink an A.G.1 for nutrition and element for electrolytes. And I'll sip on this throughout the day. Since it's Monday, I finalize our weekly family schedule called the

rabled round every minute, then tape it to the fridge. Place a grocery order from Whole Foods based on the meals in the weekly room. Six a.m. I start my workout. Twenty six a.m. In 14 minutes, high in 14 minutes. I never miss a workout because it makes me feel good. I feel the cold shower.

If you haven't read about the benefits, definitely check it out. I get myself ready for the day. Every single day. If I'm ready, I feel it out. Oh, you read about those benefits. I get myself ready for the day. Every single day. If I'm ready, I feel like my life is organized even if it's not. Now that I've taken care of myself, I am more than ready to take care of my boys. I'll put away the laundry and make the beds in each of their rooms. My boys can help if they want, but I don't force it. I like it to be a certain way, honestly, and I'm happy to do this chore on behalf of my crew.

In the words of Admiral McCraven, if you want to change the world, start off by making your bed. It will give you a small sense of pride, and it will encourage you to do it. 7 a.m. She's already put away all the laundry. Hold on. By 7 a.m. She's done the rabble roundup.

She's ordered all their groceries, planned all the meals, put all the laundry away, and done all the beds. By 7 a.m. I know people like this. Of course. They're full of anxiety. Yeah.

I think she has a beautiful family. They, she's gorgeous. She's in shape. She's like, she's great. It's just, it is a level of energy where like, that works in that household, you know, like the two. In that previous video, at five, she's like, he's done with, he's done with his workout at five.

So like, that family is up, he's up at four. I don't know, It's fucking yeah. You got to see the vacation one. Can you show this? Hold on. So this one's this one's the best. They go on vacation without children and watch how much fun they have on vacation. Oh boy. Mom, to four boys going on our first kit free vacation to a location. That's gonna blow your mind. It's 4.45 a.m.

There's no time to work out because Ryan usually books the earliest flight possible. I get ready for the climate. It's fucking Ryan. While Ryan finishes up packing and orders our Uber, he gets to the airport on time. Not gonna lie, I miss my kids, but it's much easier navigating through the airport just as adults.

We board our flight. I tend to get a little bit nervous when we fly without the kids. We land safely and you guessed it. Cabos and Lucas for Ryan's 40th birthday. Our driver and 27. Did it blow my mind? It takes us to you.

My parents' house and Cabo. And I'm not gonna lie. It's an incredible house for Ryan's family. She never lies. Jesus. It is a fucking, sick house. It is. It's a roundup to celebrate one of my dad's largest real estate deals.

This house represents that you can come from no money and work hard to create the life of your dream. I'm grateful my dad instilled entrepreneurial values in me. And my mom instilled family values in me that helps me think differently than a lot of your dream. I'm grateful my dad instilled entrepreneurial values in me, and my mom instilled family values in me that helps me think differently than a lot of people do. Thank you mom and dad for the wonderful opportunity to stay in this place. Okay, all right.

Again, I mean, how fun. You can read the caption for the trip by Tinerary. Yeah, they have a night. What a relaxed, by the way, if you made me wake up at 4 a.m. for our vacation flight, I would fucking put a bullet in your head. Tom makes us wake up at 5am to get on the first flight to Cuba. I like, shut up, just sleep in.

Now, there's a video of them on vacation. See if you can find her feed. Or don't. But do you wanna see how awful a vacation day is with these two? I'm all jittery right now. From watching these three videos, I'm actually like feeling it

In some like it's palpable, right? And also like the thing that I realized is she has I mean you guys are editors There's like 45 edits in those things and and she's setting up the camera for each shot Who's but who's filming her she is she setting up and hitting record and and then editing it later. The time is that taking. Hold on, where Disney World kids stand still. A thousand percent. I've got to set up the camera and the kids are like, can we pretend to live in the moment now? She probably travels with the tripod and everything you clips it on.

She's like, oh, just take a second. Unbearable. Unbearable. And you're just trying to enjoy dating on? I think it's for her. Oh my gosh. It's part of her joy. Like it's part of her joy.

This is her identity. It's fun for her to make these videos. I think, and it probably they get a reaction. I mean, she's gonna get a lot more reactions now. So, and I don't wanna like, you know, shit on her. It's just that that is, yeah, that's exhausting to me. It's her energy that's, I'd be like, it reminds me a lot of my older sister.

I was gonna say that, but I didn't want to. My older sister is like that. A lot of energy. I remember when we were a family as kids going on vacations, you know? And especially as we got into like, actually even as we were sorry, as we were adults and we'd like do, you know,

joint things like joint trip for vacation, it would be like, you know, the morning waking up at, I don't know, some beach thing and she'd be like, yeah, so I'm gonna go on this run and then I'm gonna go get some breakfast and then I'm gonna play tennis and then I found out they have a yoga class and then I'm gonna go, I find out there's a hike

and then there's a little mime. And then I'll go get lunch. And I was like, that's like, what are you gonna do? I was like, I don't know. Like, I don't have plans. I'm gonna wait till I wake up and see what I feel like, I don't know. Like, I don't have plans. I'm gonna wait till I wake up and see what I feel like doing, which might be like walk over there and lay down.

I thought you were on vacation. This is vacation to me. This is fun to me. Yeah. Okay. Vastly different ideas of vacation. Yeah, that's the whole thing is I was like, this is like time to chill.

Well, for me, that is chilling for me. I am having fun. Oh man, like my happy state. That is chilling for me. I am having fun. I was like, okay. My happy state of being is doing absolutely nothing. You saw me in the summer. I, you know what I love doing? Sitting and staring. I can sit and stare for hours.

I like it. I like it. Look, I like making fitness. But I just, you know, I don't like having, here's the seven activities for the day. I don't like that when I'm traveling on the road and people are like, you know what, 11 things a Milwaukee has to offer.

I don't care. I don't care, I, you know, I like to find out, maybe there's one, maybe you go, oh, that sounds cool. Is it far? I don't want to do it anymore. I want it to be around where I'm staying. I'll do the one thing if I feel like doing that And then that's it. It's the one thing for the day. The one thing for the day

Yeah, then you come back. I want to stay here work out here eat here and then go do the show. I think to I Mean as a personal choice like I hate itineraries. Yeah, I hate that level of planning. I agree as a parent You need to plan and you need to what are my friends? But it's too much for me. What are my friends? I'll tell you later, I had a girlfriend and they dated for like close to seven years and they had, she had itinerary for everything. Oh, no. Even things that were like a year in advance and you could not break from the itinerary. Oh, no. So if she was like, when we go to New York in December, we're got on Thursday, we have to have breakfast at this place on Fifth Avenue.

He's like, we would get to New York, when it Wednesday night and then Thursday morning, she was like, don't forget where we're going, like this is in the books. Yeah. We're going there for breakfast. And then lunch was planned and then the museum was planned and then to, and like that was every day

And I was like how fun was that? He was like I hated it. How long you stay with her? He's like seven years She must have given maybe she scheduled blow jobs every day and he has your time to So exercise for men We have a simple way where you said massage the testicle Don't tell me, you know, you see a children playing with the testicle. So, the parent always said, don't do it, dirty, don't touch it. So, we didn't touch it.

We didn't touch it, but it was a massage your testicle. Because it's for men, testicle, producing, always producing sperm. So, the doubt said, if you are massage your testicle, or you call the testicle breathing, when you will turn your mind to inhale, exhale. And when you get it, you lay down and you put your hand near your sexual organ and you just do the testicle breathing in the health. To the testicle.

And you start to feel that when you feel your focus smiling into the sexual organs, smilings unshine, unmoon and star, down to the sexual organs. Now you can set a transformation take place. Oh, it's transforming. Yeah. What are you doing, you're making a joke?

I'm just, I'm not, I wouldn't like that. It's trans. Oh, it's anti-trans, that's right. But yeah, I have to massage. I want to massage testicle and breathe in a smile, smile, feel my testicle smile, sun and light and star. Do you ever massage them? Not really. Because aren't they? I mean, I'll go, you know, like that. To the outside, like, this skin, but do you really? not like really get into those beans? Well, I should give them some of them.

I mean, I'm fucking learning. I could not be a student. I'm trying to learn. I guess so. You know what they say when the student is ready, ready to teach her peers. Yeah. And you're ready.

So massage your testicles. Yeah. Yes, I only want to have more in depth conversations with this guy. Of course, can we get a hold of him? We've been trying to book him for a while. He's somehow not interested. Yeah, he's overseas.

Yeah. We'd fly him in. Um, I never, do you tell our children's dirty? No. You stupid, don't touch it dirty, General. No, no. I don't get that either. I mean, I don't do my parents' approach, which was like, I was like, um, so what's like,

you know, masturbation, they're like, don't do that. I was like, shame. Really? I remember I asked my dad once, I go, so I was like learning about, you know, probably like 12 or 13, like, I go, did you ever masturbate? He goes, one time. I was like, one time. He's like, yeah, I was 16. And that was it. He was like, uh-huh.

Oh my God. Good talk. Yeah. And I'll just take that with me now that that should not happen, or maybe one time. Gosh, did you just feel so much shame every time you... Yeah, I was like... And then I told you, right, that I was trying to say it without... I mean, I wasn't comfortable enough to have the conversation.

Sure. So I was like, oh, I was in the shower, and I was washing myself, and then, you know, I was washing my groin, and then a bunch of stuff came out. It was obviously introduction to the conversation, and he goes, next time don't wash, they're so long. Oh! And I was like, oh dang!

It's good to know. Good to talk. But it's good that you did it in the shower, that's the best cleanup, right? Yeah, it was also a really, father explaining how biology works. Don't wash so long. Oh my God. Okay.

Thank you. I don't think my mother ever talked to me. You know what she did when I was nine? She just handed me a book about puberty, the what's happening to my body book for girls. Yeah. I'm not even sure masturbation was in there. Yeah. I don't remember.

You know, I never got something like that. I mean, my mom was obviously not a person to talk to. Oh, your mother today is not still. I mean, still, you know, a woman in a bathing suit appears on television. She's like, are you watching pornography? So prude. The lady at the beach. I know. So beach show. Everything's pornographic, I know so beach show everything's pornographic. Yeah, I know All right, what do you mean think about your penis all the time? I'm like maybe she's thinking about it all the time. I don't know. Maybe she's thinking about She definitely has definitely deep deep shame I think you'd have to go through so many layers. Oh, yeah, but it's the religious stuff because she's very Catholic Very Catholic. Yeah, that'll do it to you. Then we talked to who Aunt because she's very Catholic. Very Catholic, yeah.

And I'll do it to you. Then we talked to, who Aunt Blanca was on the show one time, right? I still remember being in the back of her car with my cousin. And so we were trying to do the same thing. It's like we're just looking for an adult to have the, like, you know, help us out. So they're like, who do you, you talk to your parents? They're like, my aunt and uncle, we were very close. And we were like, so, you know, have a, help us out. So like, who do you, you talk to your parents? Or like my aunt and uncle, we were very close. And we were like, um, so, you know, we brought up masturbation.

And then she was like, well, here's the thing. If you masturbate, then you will not enjoy being with somebody at some point in your life. So, wow, I don't do that is so that I can enjoy being with my husband. So you ever want to enjoy being with somebody, don't do anything with yourself. And we were like, that's so weird.

Three for three, just good advice from everyone. Yeah, that's so fucking weird. Yeah, I went in Catholic school in 10th grade, we had sex education, 10th grade, which is too late because everybody's already back. Yeah. Everyone's given that point. By that point, you're jacking off on the bus. Right.

Right. It was just cast. And we had a nun teaching a sex ed. And yeah, they were like, well, here's five things you can do instead of masturbate. You can take a cold shower. You can pray it away. You can pray for an octurnal emission. That was...

Pray for it. Yeah, you pray that God takes the stuff away from you. And funny thing is, that was probably, I don't know, fucking 20 or 30 years after... The 90s. After, Charo was in school and all of a sudden. And later on, when I was like asking, how did you date people if you're such a fucking nun?

She was like, I would put a day cold shower, like all the things you're saying. That must be what nuns have been saying forever, because that's what she did. I know, but like think about it. I know the, is it just because the Catholics want you to be fruitful and multiply? Like they want you to have.

They want you to feel bad for those feelings too. But why I'm saying like, what's the utility, is it? Because you're just want you to feel bad for those feelings too. But why? I'm saying like, what's the utility? Because you're just in there for pleasure and that's not, that's. Oh, it should be procreation only. Yeah, and it should be procreation with one person who you're committed to for the rest of you.

It shouldn't be just like, oh, I enjoy that way this feels with some random, you know, that means you're just a bad person. But yourself, I'm saying like, why is masturbation not? Because you're spilling your seed. It's like a fruitless. I think it's fruitless. It's like it's pleasing. It's the fact that it's pleasure. God doesn't but God lets you drink alcohol because they're all alcoholics. The priests can all be fat. Look if you want to be an asshole about all this.

I'm just I'm just where does God draw the line on, on physical pleasure? Is one thing? It's smart, ask. God lets you drink and eat and exercise. Why can't you touch your genitals? They kick you out real fucking fast. I know, I'm just trying to understand the logic. Maybe like, hey, we got to, we got to hoard this, keeps asking questions.

I know. Um, so you remember that we absolutely like were just fascinated last week by this. For reference this is how my butt is right now. Yo, there it is. So step one is to- So this amazing video that I was certain was like, oh this is probably gone rip this right away. Right. They're like, oh no, no, no.

This lives. This lives on YouTube. So right. I was so blown away that that gets to live there. And this man has his cheeky little smile on top of his somewhat hairy asshole and his bag that hangs underneath it. And he winks his asshole out of his video.

Yeah, yeah. And it has, at the time that we've watched it had 38 million views, I'm sure it's probably 39 or more now. Oh my goodness. And so, anyway, I had the idea. I go, you know, this is pretty interesting to me that this is allowed to be up on YouTube, right? So I asked the boys, could you contact our YouTube rep. We have a YouTube rep that we connect with for certain issues. And just out of curiosity, why is this allowed to stay up? I don't want it taken down. Obviously, I watch it every day. It's amazing. I just want to know. I think about his asshole a lot.

There's no way you can't think about it. And it's strictly. This is just education. Of course it is. So I go, hey, let's find out. So the response from the rep was, he, he, first of all, the rep didn't know the video. And he's like, I know what you're talking about. But it sounds like you may be on to something because we suggest is it because it's educational. And he said, we have something called the EDSA exception, which lets content that's either educational, documentary, scientific, content that's either educational, documentary, scientific, or artistic to brain up, even though it may otherwise violate

policies. This is why music videos or stand-up specials that say stuff that might otherwise get the video taken down or demonetized, like since their works of art are allowed to remain up. In these instances, it's all about context. Tom and Christina reacting to the same material probably wouldn't fall into that EDSA category like the original video since the context since the context in which it's presented is different. So then we looked up what exactly is EDSA according to YouTube. So it's their platform so they get to decide and dictate what that is.

Content Reviewers assess weather content gets the EDSSA exception on a case-by-case basis. First, we check if there's community guidelines violation. There's a violation review if there's enough context in the content to make an EDSA exception. The type of context you must include to get an EDSA exception depends on what's in the content. So basic facts about what's happening in the content, identify what's in the content. So, basic facts about what's happening in the content, identify who's in the content,

describe what the content shows where it takes place, and then it goes on to just, I don't wanna get into every little detail of what it says, but it got us thinking that, I mean, I'm interested in education, I'm interested in learning more. So what I would like to do, he's not available right now,

but the idea that I had was we have a doctor that does a podcast here on our network, the great Dr. Drew Pinsky. And what I was thinking was much like this guy's showing you how to remove hair from your asshole was there, maybe we could get Dr. Drew to educate people on some things that they're otherwise uncomfortable with. Don't know a lot about, for instance, how to give yourself a testicle exam to see. It took a great idea.

You know, whether your testicles have a tumor, that's a serious thing. So maybe we can get Dr. Drew to agree to do things like that. Maybe some, like, breast exam, this, for the ladies. For the ladies, how to check your prostate? Maybe your vulva, for vulva cancer, or something like that. Yeah, vulva cancer. And I'm not asking him to like,

finger somebody or jacket guy off. I'm asking him to do educational medical things. He's not anti-trans, like. No, not like Nadav. He is a willing to do all kinds of traditional lenses. Anti-transitional lenses. No way, you always spell it out. So anyway.

That's a great idea, Tom. Because we do need to educate our listeners or viewers as well. This guy, by the way, he does a lot of things that are educational. You're kidding. Live on YouTube. Fingering your butt is a really good way to loosen up before sex, more specifically receptive anal sex,

more specifically bottoming, more specifically taking dick up your ass. As you may already know, loosening up before having sex is like the number one key to reducing the pain that you inevitably will feel as the bottom when you take the ding dong up your butt. So this is very important. And YouTube's like education.

Can I tell you something that I love the time we live in? This is so much better than the bullshit television we grew up consuming. It's why TV is dying. Yeah, it's dead. Like how can you compete with a guy? And you can go ahead and watch Kevin Leonardo's video about how to finger your asshole.

Yeah, this is so awesome. Or you wanna watch what's on CBS right now? I don't think so. I know. Oh man. There are a few things that you need to do before sticking a finger in your butt. First off, poop before.

I always say to poop before butt douching and butt plugging and it's no different with butt fingering. Pooping before you finger your butt will just make your experience a lot better. Your finger will smell a lot less. You'll reduce your chances of seeing poop chunks on your fingers if you pooped beforehand. Yeah. He makes a lot of strut. Personally, I poop and douche before fingering my butt because like I said, for me, butt fingering is like a pretty activity before butt plugging, which you know that I realized that if I had been like in six grade and seen this, I think I might have had an aneurysm from the laughing stuff.

It was happening. But it's never, it never stops being funny. It's great. Fingering your butt. Like so he's going to home on, but let me just to be clear. Yeah. He's going to finger his butt solo. This is like a masturbation act that he's prepping himself for.

Is that what I'm understanding? No, no. Maybe it's going to bump hug himself. Fingering, yeah, buff, all of it's good. You know, so cool. Taking the cockadoodle do up my back. You don't actually have to do this

might be an unnecessary step for you. Just accept that, you know, brown stuff will come out like that's where the brown stuff lives. You're ready to dump. Totally fine. Just wash your hands. It's not a big deal.

It is a big deal. I think brown stuff is a big deal. That's why you're being so percaut, taking so many precautions. It deters me. Yeah. Because I don't want brown stuff in my sex life. I don't want to smell cut. Yeah, not everybody. But I'm not interested. This is where you get pro bottom. You know, so. Oh, I, hey, I get it. I mean, we already got one anti-trans. What time of your anti-trans? It's not transitional lenses. The second thing you have to remember before fingering your butt is to clip and file

your nails. Yes. You want to trim your nails as short as possible because you imagine fingering your butt with like a long nail. And that goes for straight guys too. The third thing that you have to remember before fingering your butt is to put a lot of a lube on your finger before it like goes in. That makes so much sense.

Position wise, you could either finger yourself laying down or standing up doing a little half squat if you're with your man standing up and your finger yourself to turn him on or he's fingering you. Definitely lie down because it's kind of awkward to stand up and like squat with your man just watching you like that's kind of like weird so I always stand you know what you should do to is the way a lady's put in a tampon You can just put one leg up on the toilet too, and I'm sure that would be I mean that's a hot look for me I think Put one leg up on a chair look back at you figure my ass I wouldn't turn you on and

Listen this can apply to straight men too because you do have to trim your fingernails before you finger my ass. I wouldn't turn you on. And listen, this can apply to straight men too because you do have to trim your fingernails before you finger a lady. You should. You really fuck it. That's a serious tip. That's a hot tip too. I feel like I should be helping this guy.

I think he's got it. I think he's got it. I mean, maybe I could like be like, I mean, you're just agreeing with his tips. But I'm also extending for, but I gave him an extra hot tip, put one leg up on the, oh yeah, yeah, sure.

Do you know what I mean? Maybe I could make this also straight girl friendly, straight guy friendly. Yeah, do a little half squat, and then I bring my fingers through the front, my lubed fingers through the front, and then I find my butthole, and then I pretty much take a deep breath,

and then as I'm putting my finger in, I usually like to use my middle finger because it's like in the middle, and I have the most control over it, as I'm putting it in, take a deep breath and then as I'm putting my finger in, I usually like to use my middle finger because it's like in the middle and I have the most control over it. As I'm putting it in, take a deep breath. He does, and he goes at it. That's the trot. That's the trot.

He's so cute though, I do love him. He's so clean looking, isn't he? He looks so, I don't even believe he has poop in his butt. Yeah, he looks clean. He looks like he's a good guy. Go as slow as you need to and make sure that the entire finger is in. All and make sure that the entire Finger Once the entire finger is in both goggles

You want to like gently and slowly go around and like rub around the walls and kind of see what you like and don't like Once you take your finger give it a good sniff. Oh, not the sniffed it. Why do you have to sniff it first? I don't want to give it the sniff test. I don't want to give it the sniff test. I don't want to give it the sniff test. I don't want to give it the sniff test. I don't want to give it the sniff test. I don't want to give it the sniff test. I don't want to give it the sniff test. I don't want to give it the sniff test.

I don't want to give it the sniff test. I don't want to give it the sniff test. I don't want to give it the sniff test. I don't want to give it the sniff test. I don't want to give it the sniff test. I don't want to give it the sniff test. I don't want to give it the sniff test. I don't want to give it the sniff test.

I don't want to give it the sniff test. I don't want to give it the sniff test. I don't want to give it the sniff test. I don't want to give it the sniff test. I don't want to give it the sniff test. I don't want to give it the sniff test. I don't want to give it the sniff test. I don't want to give it the sniff test. I don't want to give it the sniff test. I don't want to give it the sniff test. I don't understand about this video though, and about Kayla, Kayla's videos.

Yeah. It's very educational, but you can still have fun and joke around and be in fall. You know what I mean? They're not labeling this as, oh no, this is like. I agree. Tom, are you raising your hand?

I mean, also because he doesn't use the proper words for things like he's not saying penis. He's like, cock a deadl do and my bad halt. Yeah. If this is education, you should say penis, anus, I have something to say. Go ahead, Tom. Yeah, I think. Wow. So anti transitional glasses, anti juz.

I mean, I'm raising my hand transitional glasses anti Jews. I mean I'm raising my hand Tom I see what you're doing and away the Tom and Joyce because he's a World War two dad now. This is bad bad Bad bit Don't like What oh first we have an anti trans and now we have an anti-Semite. Who's the anti-Semite? I'm not saying you You're really gonna start zig-highling to say something. I was raising my hands and it happened to look

How should I raise my hand? You know how to fucking raise your hands. Yeah, that's how you raise your hand I want to get your attention in your island. I'm like, I'm not doing it on purpose. Okay. Go ahead. I'm not. Go ahead. The point is, Yana, is that if this is truly educational, he should.

One should. Go ahead. He should be using the proper terminology for body parts because if a kid, if someone's repeating this, they're like, oh, I'm getting a cockled doodle do in my B. My B. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It is interesting that he's allowed to play like that. That's my point.

I don't want the guy's stuff taken down. I'm just making the point that- No, I don't want to take it down. This is amazing. I'm just making the point that it seems like he's being educational, but they're allowing it also to be like joking. Jokey. And I have to say to you that if I were a young gay man, and this is my, yeah, you don't

know how to do this stuff, this is awesome. This is a great resource. Yeah. I mean, how do gay dudes figure out this stuff before? You just have to like know an elder gay, and he's like, yeah, you have to meet like your daddy, DeMarco, and he's like, you got to think of, yes, that the but hole doesn't just belong to the gays. The same way, pregnancy and periods doesn't just belong to the gaze. The same way, pregnancy and periods

doesn't just belong to women, all right? It's for all of us. Nothing calls me down quite like a plug, okay? Like I have the worst ADHD, so I will walk around my house half finishing a million tasks. But if I put a plug in and try and go do those tasks, I'm completing them in half the time.

I'm completing them in a record speed, and I have tunnel vision and focus the entire time Plus they're so cute and fun like look at the top of this one and like this one has a whole tail and This one's fun because it has a handle if you really need some grip But don't fall asleep with one in because I did that once and it was a big mistake Wait a minute. I would like to know why it was a big mistake. Yeah Well, cuz I know why. Why?

Because if you open that hole and it's really stretchy, imagine the brown just comes down. You know what I mean? You have the hole that has to go back to it's a muscle, but you've extended it and opened it all night. It might be looser. If you have eight hours, like remember, okay, remember when Norman put the tit cups onipped cups on for like eight hours, he created breasts

doing that. I imagine it's similar to keeping a butt plug. That the plug is in there for a long time. But here's my quandary, here's my question. She uses the butt plug to get more things done, which implies that it makes her more like Focus. She said it makes her focus right. So how do you fall asleep? How are you, you can also relax, you got in? Well, yeah, you relax over time.

So she's like, she's focused doing her things, but then like if you go past a certain point, it becomes almost like, you don't go like, oh, it's in there. You get used to it. And then she probably was relaxed and fell asleep. Yeah. I wish you would try this.

Should we make our housekeeper try this? Excuse me. What? What? Like, we've noticed that your work's been slacking. Oh my God. We need you to focus. Let's see what else we got. What else we got? Um. She. She. She.

She. Sweet lady. You're gonna talk about like that. Speaking of sweet lady. Sweet lady used to leave your cock ring out for her to clean it up. Now she's a sweet lady. She didn't know what that was. Of course she did.

She would put it in a plastic bag because she knew it went on your dick. No, she's like, your keychain. He's over it here. So, um, she knew what that was. No, she didn't. Speaking of Spanish speaking ladies. Another night in Colombia. Say, Hola, me amor. Hola, me amor. I love my life. In St. Kirstie. Making a lot of emails on places to go down here. Yeah. Yeah. Colombia. I'm not big into strip club. No.

No. Of course not. I went with a few friends. It was called club La Isha. Amazing place. At least 30,000 square feet. And the 100 to 150,000 square feet. One. Pretty than the other.

Jesus. From normal to big. You like the plastic. One. One. One. One. One. One. One. One. One. One.

One. One. One. One. One. One. One. One. One.

One. One. One. One. One. One. One. One. One. One. One. One. One. One.

One. One. One. One. One. One. One. One. One. One. One. One. One. One. One. One. One. One. One. One. One. One. One. One. One. One. One. One. One. One. One. One. One. One. One. One. One. One. One. One. One. One. One. One. One. One. One. One. One. One. One. One. One. One. One. One. One. One. One. One. One. One. One. One. One. One. One. One. One. One. One. One a girl out back, you can do that too. Out back in shooter. Because go on the internet, check it out. Take a look. I'll tell you guys, this is a place to see. Again, you're going to spend a few bucks. Yeah. What an export of that man. Nice. Port that the seals beautiful women. This guy's fantastic. He might be my favorite discovery in the last year. Yeah. E Colombia. I've been down here in Colombia. It's a fast death.

I gotta get this shout out to La Issa Club. It's La Issa. You're fucking dope. You've been down there a while. I'm going to go. He is everything I love in a TikTok. He's got the jet black hair. The fucking Steve Harvey's in his mouth.

In Colombia. And then a total. Get black hair. The fucking Steve Harvey's in his mouth. In Colombia. And then a turtle. You want to take a girl out back, and hit her in the head with a club. You can do that. You gotta pay a few bucks, but it's fun. In Colombia. You see your brain just kind of shoot out

to her fucking ear. And you go, I got another notch on the belt. Ha, ha, ha, ha. And they let you jerk off on her body. It's crazy down here. You guys got a Gumbacolumbia you guys everyone a kill a fucking horn I keep getting emails hey, do you get to kill these horse here you do I got to give a shout out to the owner you let you do whatever you want I love his lack of self awareness that like all these guys have.

Yeah. Which is like, ah, they just love me here. Oh yeah. Colombia. And she's like, you give me cash money. Like there's no way. There's no way at like a 20 year old. She likes me.

Hot girl is into the like, there's no way. It's great. Is there the, does there the up? I love Colombia. I am loving life guys. This is Colombia. This one don't understand a lick. This one. This one.

This one don't understand a licker English. Those are the best ones. What a cool guy. He's such a cool guy. What? Yeah. What are you saying to that? He's just kind of sad.

What's sad about it? I don't know. I don't know. It's some about it. It's just like, yeah, look, I'm just hanging out with people that don't talk my language and I'm just fucking Fucking them for a few hundred bucks. What's the sad part? They get $10 It's money in her pocket. No, you know what you're right. I'm trying to be more accepting you guys called me out for being an anti-transitional Gladness. I now pro-prostitution

Incomplete does it make you feel kind of sad though really? Yeah for being an anti-transitional glasses. I now pro-prostitution in Columbus. Does it make you feel kind of sad though, really? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Because you know that like what their life is like and everything. Yeah, he's just hopping from one to another.

Are you sad for both of them? Like for him too? Any video that he's posted, I'm sad for everyone in the video. Yeah, that's actually a healthy response, I gotta say. That is a healthy, anti-trans guy that's a very healthy, transitional lenses. Yeah, I mean, look, I have to say that the story, part of the reason I do love this lane is because it reminds me

somebody very close to me. Somebody that may have just inside my mom and may look like, I, this is the kind of shit that I've grown up with, my whole life. She likes me. No, no, no, no, yes.

No, she likes me. She loves me. And I would be like, you don't think that, you don't think that maybe she just likes money, like she's really poor. And no, that's not like that. And he'd be like, no, you go there and they invite you to their house

and you meet the family. And I'm like, well, yeah. Anyway, I'm pretty sure, all find out that I have some half brothers and sisters in the Philippines and Thailand and maybe in Colombia. It'll be cool that if you get to meet them when you're like 60. Yeah, that is cool. They're like 12. I'm like, how the fuck did? How long goes he there? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, the best part is that sometimes my dad would have me FaceTime with the girls when like he'd be in the other country and he like hey talk to Natalie and I'm like hi

She's like hi like they don't speak my jingles. Yeah, so like what I like your hair like thank you Natalie like what are you saying? I don't want to talk to the girlfriend. You're that come comes hard Come, come, come hard. He's like, when I put my mouth on him. Oh my god. You're like, that's cool. Yeah. I love to know some of my dad's sexual kinks. Yeah.

It was painful to have the FaceTime conversations. Yeah. And I'm like, I don't want to talk to any of these. Well, he's also calling to like, he's just like trying to fill, like, fill time. Fill time and he's like, I'll show, I to fill, fill time. Fill time and he's like, I have a daughter. Yay. Yeah.

Oh yeah, he's like, do you want to talk to her? And they're like, yes. Oh my God. They have to say yes. No, and yeah, he would kind of use me as that. And then, use you as that for dates when we were in LA.

For date like date night. And he's like, my daughter does comedy. Come on, let's go see my daughter. And I'm like, you can't, I'm not your date night entertainment. but the best, the best one. What's your problem? Yeah, which would be fucking up tight bitch. Yeah.

And the best part, yeah, like why I'm such a squirre, that is his, that was the action. I know. I'm like, how it's wrong with you, don't you love me? And like, ah, kind of, I don't know. The best was when our son was getting baptized. Do you remember this one? Yeah, yeah, yeah, oh yeah, dude, that was fucking rad.

Our first time was getting baptized and He was going to be out of town. Right out of town Where was he going Tom? He was going to the Asian world And couldn't reschedule that couldn't we get he couldn't move't move the plane. The plane, right? So he's like, I'm going and he had a serious girlfriend. But hold on, but he also wanted me to move the baptism, and the date so that he could still go on his trip. And it's like, that's not how this works. The church has certain days that you sign up

for like months and then there's. There's a thing there that I didn't, I really didn't understand and I didn't understand how it worked was that we went and real. We went to meet up with him and his girlfriend at the time. Yeah. And he's like, I'm going through, you know, like Singapore or something and we're like, oh, and I'm like, when do you get back? Like, you know, yeah, like a normal human. Yeah, he was like, I don't know. I was like, who doesn't know when they come back from an international trip? My dad. Yeah. He was like, I don't know. And I was like, who doesn't know when they come back from a internet group?

My dad. Yeah, I was like, I don't understand that at all. I was like, huh? And then I was like, why aren't you pressing him on when he comes back? And you're like, I don't know, I'm like, but that's a normal, like, how long is your trip? That's what a normal dad, right?

But my dad, you can never ask those questions because he doesn't know when he's coming back or he doesn't want you to know. To know exactly when he's back. When my mom died, and we had to like, take care of the body, clean out the apartment, he was in hungry on vacation, and he was mad that my mom died during his vacation.

Standard, that's a good move. Yeah, I understand. And I was five months pregnant, and I had to clean out her stuff, pregnant. You were on a good move. Yeah. I understand. And I was five months pregnant and I had to clean out her stuff. Pregnant. You were on the road working. My vacation's fine.

Yeah, and then he took his time coming back. He took a week, because it's like, I couldn't find the flight. I'm like, there's no flights from Budapest to Los Angeles. Yeah, that's a daily flight. It's daily, bro. Anyway, the best part of the baptism is, so he tells me, I'm going on the trip,

can you reschedule the baptism so that I can do my trip? And I go, absolutely not. This is like months and the making we've invited family to come to the home. Yeah, people are flying in. They're flying in to have a party at the house. Yeah.

And then he goes, well, can my girlfriend? Not can't she? He's like, she'll go in my place. In my place. Yeah. And I was like, what? And then he's like, she'll go in my place. In my place. And I was like, what? And she was like, you don't want to see you there? And we're like, no, nobody knows you.

I don't know you. And a month from now, you're gonna be somebody else. Like, I've dealt with this my whole life. My dad is Mr. Colombia, where it's like, I got insane chemistry with this one. Every. My favorite is when they don't speak a lick of English. That was my dad.

Everyone was... Yeah. Say I'm loving life. She was like, eh. Okay. Say I'm having the best time. But why? You know what I'm saying right now?

No. Perfect. Dang, I'm saying right now? No. Perfect. I have a lot of food. Eat something please first time today. He's nighttime tired. Fuck saving guys. Okay baby. But they really do think these guys are convinced that it is love. Every one of them loves him.

And it is really, it's exhausting to be the child of someone. That guy's daughter is in anguish and I know this. So I'm just going to say that, shout out to the daughter. I know it sucks. You don't have to meet them. You don't have know it sucks. You don't have to meet them. You don't have to know them. You don't have to meet all of them. Yeah, no. You can put up that boundary. It'll piss off your narcissist like that. Well, this guy's cool. And I'll tell you what else we got to hold up that I'm so excited about. Which one is that the former mayor of New York City. Oh, yeah, that guy's a attorney for the former president and all around.

Cool guy, Clown. Cool fucking guy, Rijuliani. He's being sued right now for sexual harassment by Noel Dumpfie, a former staffer at his firm. The lawsuit included a wide array of disturbing allegations against him from behaving erratically while drunk to exposing himself nonconsensually to demanding sexual favors to making various sexists and racists remarks. Juliani, it should be said, has denied everything, smearing Dunfee and asking the court to strike portions of the lawsuit and sanction her and her lawyer. Dunfee and and her lawyer respond that on Monday by asking for Julianne and his lawyer to be sanctioned.

They included audio transcripts of Giuliani saying exactly the kind of things he denied saying. That's where things really get tricky for people. The transcripts include a host of truly vile, bigoted remarks as well as some of the creepiest come-ons the mind can imagine. And guess what, we have a copy of that awesome I wish we had the audio because the audio would just be so amazing to play is it it exists we don't have the audio though right

I guess the audio maybe is still like under whatever they call it You know guys everyone That's awesome. That's Julianne when his hair dye was running But he did clean up New York, you guys, come on. Remember when you had that? Nobody remembers the good times. Did a great job getting rid of the mafia. The crime.

So we have portions of the transcript. We're gonna read them for you. These are super fun. I don't know, I thought maybe it'd be fun if you play Rudy Giuliani. Sure. And I will play Miss Dunfee. You got it.

So from March 4th, 2019, go ahead. Every place. You were finding a little place in the woods? Get off the airplane in a new city. On the airplane? Go right to the hotel. Give the money. On the dining room table.

Yeah. And we go right ahead wherever. On the floor of the living room, as soon as we get in, we don't even make it to the bedroom. Yes. All the clothes come off. Oh, yes Oh God. Let the dormant wait outside to bring in the luggage. Wait, wait. We need a little more time Yeah, I need a little time alone with my girlfriend here. That's right with my daughter. That's right with my little girl Now that's not so I want to own you officially. Oh yeah. Legally with the

document. Put your name on. All right, now we those are just kind of warm-ups. Now we move to March 12th and here's where it gets fucking cool. Okay, here we go. Go ahead. Come your big tits. Come your big tits. Your tits belong to me. Give them to me. I want to claim my tits. I want to claim my tits. I want to claim my tits. These are my tits. Oh yeah. Mmm, these breasts belong to me. Nobody else can get near these, okay? I don't care if they're flirting or they give you business cards. These are mine. You got it? Yes. Understand? I'm very fucking possessive. I've gone easy on you.

I don't know. I've been easy on you. You're pretty tough on me. I've been easy on you. Give them to me. Maybe... on you. Give him to me. Maybe. This goes on further. Who were the other Republicans who are celebrities? Ain't too many. Brad, not Brad Pitt. The other guy that looks like him. Bradley Cooper? No, the other one. What the hell's this name? Well, Matt Damon is very liberal. No, Matt Damon is a, Matt Damon is a f***. Matt Damon is also five, too. Eyes are blue, kuchiku-chiku. Maybe. You are my bitch.

Bitch. Bitch. You're in my, what's the devil? Four. You're my whore. You're in my what's the doubly? Oh, you're my, oh, you're my fucking slut. And now we move on to April 1st. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha this transcript. But they read them like this. Can I do it? I'll do it. How do they do? You are my whore. You are my fucking slut. Fucking slut. Yeah. Juice. Okay. This is April 1st. This is now you're going to be this is Mr. Giuliani.

Allegedly, they have an audio recording of this. This is the transcript. Go ahead. Juice. They want to go through that freaking pass over all the time. Man, oh man, get over the Passover. It was like 3,000 years ago. Okay, the Red Sea part, a big deal. Not the first time that happened. That's kind of a big deal. Yeah. Oh, here's the best part. Go ahead. The way, the way natural selection works. Jewish men have small cocks because they can't use them after they get married. Whereas the Italian men use them all their lives so they get bigger.

There could not be a more incorrect thought on how cocks work. That is not how they work. They could use them bigger. No, more you use them, the bigger you get. No, you can use them all you want. It's not going to change what your dick does. It's not going to be like, man, you've been using this a lot. Your dick finally grew. This guy doesn't know science.

It's fucking fantastic. I like how he's jealous of the Passover thing. He's like, God, it's 3,000 years ago. Come on with your religious bullshit. But you know what he isn't? What? Anti-trans That's the one thing Giuliani isn't isn't this is incredible. This is literature. I can't wait

Can we get to the I want if they televised the court hearing you, don't they do that on like C-Span or something? If we could actually get the reading of this, the real reading. I'd be awesome if you could close door. Yeah. They want to go through. Some old lady's gonna be like, Matt Damon is a f***.

Five, two, blue hair, kuchi kuchi koo. You're on her? He's gonna be like, thank you, and we'll read kuchiku. Your honor? He's gonna be like, thank you, and we'll read the next portion. Oh, God. Cheers. Part of the Red Sea big deal.

Get over it. Come here. Yes, small cocks. Come here, big tits. Come here, big tits. Your tits belong to me. Give them to me. These are my tits.

I want to claim my tits. I want to claim my tits. And then you, once the person does that, then they'll be like, and now can you play the audio portion of the recording and then you hear it again. So cool. Yeah, that'd be awesome. Somebody needs to make a musical about Giuliani and this transcript. You know how they do that? They'll make musicals.

This would be great. Yeah. Giuliani and the lawyer. This is amazing. It's great. It's great. It's a real fucking demon. It really is. Last week, I can't wait. I hope we get audio of this because that would be amazing. That would be a, I would actually, I'll tell you this, I'd be willing to pay for the audio. That's so good. So cool. Um, so cool. Last week, speaking of the job, we found, are you a Jewish girl looking for a

friend who will care about you. So he put out this video and then the guys found more footage of this video. Oh cool, I'm a huge fan. I love this boy. Let's see what he says here. Guys, I can't get over how gorgeous my friend Aaron is. I mean, look at her. She is genuinely so stunning.

Her fits are always fire. Everybody please hype her up in the comments below. I love you all so much. Her fits are always fire. Her fits are fire. I need to trim my nails. Her fits are all way fire. Yeah, he wants to bang in.

Let me tell you something, man. Aaron doesn't need any help. Okay. You can just let Aaron fire. Yeah, he wants to bang in and let me tell you something man Aaron doesn't need any help Okay, you can just let Aaron go. Yeah, he wants Live oh my gosh you genuinely look so gorgeous with your extensions You make up looks amazing as always. Yes. I love you so much bestie. Is that actually a friend of his? He knows her no He's tagging on calling him bestasty or not sure of the exact relationship. Oh, no. This is bad.

This is bad. He needs to not do this. Girl's the one that's unreachable. She is literally so gorgeous. I mean, she's actually a model. I don't know, like, literally she models. Everybody hype her up in the comments below. I love you all so much

Oh, she's that lilies Go on a lilies. I mean What's going on it's Say run eat o' E to G. Yeah. Man, this is a weird tactic I've never seen this tactic. This is new to me, this is this generation. I know what I think I know what's going on, but what he's doing. Tell me.

It's that he doesn't, he doesn't know how to approach these beautiful women. So what he does is he's kind of doing something like adjacent where he's going like, look how beautiful this woman, like this girl is. And the hope, the wish is that that woman will hear you saying that and be like, you think I'm beautiful or like you're saying, that's so sweet. And that that will engage the person and you'll have conversation.

And here's the thing, it's never gonna work. Yeah, and that that will engage the person and then you'll have conversation, you know, okay Command here's the thing it's never gonna work because beautiful women here. They're beautiful all the time Which is why if you remember mystery yeah, he said Negging the woman is the way I'm just using the proper term. Oh I'm just using a proper term. I just make sure I heard what you said. Mm-hmm. Medov. What was the saying? Bitches. Medov. So that is a that that term is meant to be be be negative. Correct. Yeah. So so you give them some negative feedback and it's jarring because it's so used to the I would not put him in that lane.

I don't think he's gonna be like, so Aaron, see that you call yourself a model, having seen one with that kind of nose before. Anyway, like that's not. No, no, no, I'm saying that, but I'm saying like to get a woman's attention who is beautiful, you, the complimenting them is the last thing.

You can't tell the beautiful woman she's beautiful. It's like when you meet a famous person, don't compliment that bitch. You can't tell the beautiful woman she's beautiful. It's like when you meet a famous person, don't compliment that bitch. You can't. Just don't, because- If you meet a movie star, don't mention it. I love your movies.

They don't want to, they go. They hate it. What you do is you find out, like, oh, you know, Jennifer Lawrence, she like horses. You go, you know what, I have a ride horse. You talk about the other thing and they're like, oh no shit. Then you're talking about something that's not

what they're famous for. For the model, the beautiful girl, you can't just be like, I saw your photo. You're so, they're like, thank you. I would go if I were him. Oh, you go to Lillie's. I love Lillie's. This is a great spot.

You get to Chocolate croissant, but what about that? What he's doing also is like, he's young. He doesn't know. We're trying to help him. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah of boys, just like sweet, kind of don't know how to do it. And they would just hang out and be my friend. Of course, and that's what he, by the way, would be thrilled to be Aaron's friend. Real bestie. Real bestie and then fan it. And like, but here's the thing,

any of those guys, did you massage their testicles? Never. No. And I didn't want to. That's the thing. Because that's the energies like. And they never once said, oh, you're beautiful, Christina, or are you're so pretty today? massage their testicles? Never. No. And I didn't want to. That's the thing. That's the energy is like. And they never once said, oh, you're beautiful, Christina. Or you're so pretty today.

They don't, you won't cross that barrier. So the fact that he even is like, oh my God, she's so pretty is, is, is, is his attempt maybe at crossing that barrier of front? If somebody could get to him to be like, you don't have to change who you are. You don't change the way you look. But if you, if he just went into this was like, these bitches are lucky that I'm even looking at these. Oh my God.

It's one of them's gonna be like, who are you? Yeah, one of them's gonna be damaged enough to take that bait. Mm-hmm. Bitch. Take that bait. Fucking go on live and just cut her off. Just like, just like Bob with is like,

hey, can I suck your dick? Yeah. Okay, cool. Later, you just need to like throw it out there, right? I bet you haven't squirted yet. Yeah, I feel like she's fat, maybe. She should let me think of a baby. Yep.

Yeah, he should. Pull back, pull back that growth beef you got hanging on her. Yeah, yeah, this one's fat. Like, you should call them fat and stuff like so this pig went to lilies Should be like what? What are you talking about he thinks he's all that yeah? Your girl stops scrolling hey girl I just wanted to tell you that you are unbelievably

Beautiful you are unbelievably Time you are unbelievably the best person ever Never forget that don't let anyone tell you otherwise. I love you so much My god, I'm so embarrassed. No, I'm sweating. No, my fucking palms are sweating now. He's doing the thing He's doing it like all women you're all special I hate when people don't do that. Don't do that because they're not like not everybody's like But I will look kind of in my heart. I'm not like you guys Yeah, I know and your balls are exploding because there's nowhere else for them to go

But like no, you're right. He doesn't have an older brother His older brother what he would do is probably break one of your arms. Yeah. But how did you learn how to have game with women? Did your dad obviously wasn't teaching you? No. Because remember when he would be like,

do you like sweet nurse, when? One time in college. Oh my God. I remember, I told him. It was just a moment of like, I didn't want to tell my friend, you know, you have these moments where you're not thinking yeah, I was like, you know this girl and We had gone out and then I

I you know, I just I didn't want to she was too much right but then like after her time I was like, you know, I felt like I fucked that up and I should I Should reach out to her, you know, I just don't know. He was like, uh-huh, yeah. Don't know. I was like, yeah, he's not know what to do. I'm literally like not thinking about who I'm saying that to, you know?

It's one of those moments where your mind just kind of, it's thing and then he's like, well, what are I would do is I know. Just say, call her up and say, you know, I think you're a great gal. And when you like to go dance sometime, or like a what? Like I came to and I go, what the fuck?

And he goes, well, you know, just, you know, how you would do it, but just, you know, I would just tell her, I'm like, okay, thank you very much. I regret I ever fucking opened my mouth. It was such like, you know, I would just tell her. I'm like, okay, thank you very much. I regret I ever fucking opened my mouth. It was such like, you know what I mean? It was such like, older fucking doorknobbice. I was like, I forgot that I cannot, I don't wanna have these conversations with you.

Yeah, parents don't know. They, you know, you're so out of touch by the time you kid is an eighth grade and ninth grade. You like, you still know what it's like anymore. He's like late 50s early, you know what I mean? I was like, I don't want to do this man. You're making me very uncomfortable. Okay, you know.

And then like later on, you know, he was like, did you ever call that gal? And I go, she died. Toad asked me this, she died. She fell off the building and she just asked me this shit. I don't ever want to talk to you about anything like that ever again. Thank you. Yeah, my mom was really, actually my mom, I will to her credit was old school European about

courtship. Yeah. And she's like, never talk to a man. Don't ask him out. Don't chase, never chase the man. Let him chase you. I'm like, that's actually. That's good advice. I mean, nowadays there are videos of women proposing to men. Oh my god. Oh my god. Dude, don't do that. Because I think the truth is the truth is the man

Kind of chooses the woman. Yeah, the man pursues. Yeah. That's just how we're biologically set up But don't let that rob women of the experience that it doesn't belong to us men. You can also grow a dick and chase whoever you want. And you can impregnate somebody. Now, this is so painful. This is so hard to watch. I know. And here's a thing. He's a kid. I don't want to like,'t wanna like, I'm not trying to beat him up or anything. I actually want this to work out for him, but yeah, he needs a dude who's a few years older to be like, hey, take, they get ease.

Maybe a big time time to reach out to them. And I went that time, he was like, get a frog. And can I tell you that women to really respond to a guy that dresses cool at this age, especially like if he were to just put on a cool outfit. Yeah. And do his hair better, maybe put on like a cool pair of glasses. That would completely change things for him. Yeah.

Because like that's an image thing, that's easy. But then he needs an, oh man. This is so fucking pain. A good update we have here is that our very own anti-trans, nada. Transitional glasses, anti-transitional glasses. Is, is officially registered in the New York City marathon. 100% culture. And is making his gay IG stories documenting his workouts.

So what is going on right now in your training for the marathon? I approve Jews. So we were recording some two bears the other day. And Bert connected me with Jesse Itzler who I talked to him on the phone for 30 minutes last night. Yeah. And after he's like, so what do you think, man, like are you ready to do this? I'm like, I'm ready to run through a fucking wall.

Just by talking to him. Just talking to him. He amped me up. He's like, look, there's 100 like you have a hundred days to the marathon. We need to map out every single one of those days so you know exactly what you're doing, you're never skittin', like you can't take a week off, you can't take two, like this is what you're doing.

You're in it. You're gonna become a psychopath and you're gonna fucking love it. That's like, that's what I'm fucking talking about. That's what I'm talking about. You know, you might not fucking deal. So, dude, do you have your plan? Yeah. So, for like, I'm already doing weight lifting sessions three times a week and doing

sauna and plunges and stuff and already doing like, the way I have my mentality through walking and jogging was like, oh, when, you know, my structural bones don hurt, like every other day or two, I'll go on the track and I'll spend like an hour, hour and a half on the track walking and jogging. Okay, so you're jogging now, are we doing it now? Okay, yeah, I was able to jog for the first time like two weeks ago. Amazing.

And he's like, so listen, keep doing all that. And we're adding on top of it an hour of walking two times like for for either 30 30 minutes 45 minutes an hour you choose but you're doing that two times a day on top of everything else that you're doing so too those that you're adding more walking exactly because he's like what you need to do is spend time on your feet you need to get used to what that's like and if you just do those two things within a week, you've walked it more than a marathon if you keep up with it. How's your diet? Good. Like I'm on that

minjaro, so I'm barely eating anymore. Sweet. Keeping intermittent fasting, fasting window closed down. What how long do you intermittent fast work? So I, from 10 to seven, seven's the last time that I put something in my body. 10 am to 7 pm you eat. Yeah, and then that's over. And then even then it's just like little things like I can't even have full meals. That's awesome.

How are you skinny? Are you cutting as your weight dropping? Things are melting out. Yeah, from the last time I saw you, I'm down like three or four pounds, it kind of fluctuates, but yeah, it's just starting to melt off. That's great, that's great.

That's awesome, dude. So you will be going to Jude Arc Tiddy's. Yeah, I'm, yeah, and it's crazy too. Like Bert was like every time you do something, put something on your story, and like it'll keep yourself accountable, and you'll be surprised of the positive feedback. Did we, a couple of things,

A, he was like, fuck it, I'll do it. Is he doing it with you? Is he going to do it? Is he? Remember in the podcast, he was like, I'll do it. Right, but then I think he quickly backpedal, and he's just like, I'm just trying to get clear. We do like so much talking that I'm like, is there, okay.

I mean, I'd love a running mate, but like not someone that's like, go faster, go faster. No, no, no, I don't think he wouldn't be that. I think he'd just be like a companion for you right but I think we'd be able to to get in like I they were actually asking if you wanted to run it with me yeah I don't they ask if I wanted to do it they offered it to you I mean you and Christina get seats in the grandstand at the finish line yeah I'd rather sit with you, Tom, and sound a bit.

I try to do it. I think you should. No, thanks. Oh fuck. Why not, dude? I mean, you're in the best shape of your life. That's true. Jesse says, 100 days I could do it,

you think you're probably doing a 30, 30 day prep. Ah. Are you running? Running? Running or jogging or? Oh,? You mean do I run regularly? I'm just gonna fight the geez at the end of words. Yeah, that was I was just making fun of I've been on my bike like mostly on my bike now I've been doing since I got back I've been doing workouts that like yesterday

We were doing circuits and part of the circuit was a run in between, you know, certain lifts. But I don't run with any regularity, like I'm not a regular runner, but I've been on my bike a lot, you know? That's what I, that's my usual cardio. No, yeah, low impact, that's good. I've been seeing some things where going on the elliptical is like a good cheat to getting ready for the marathon,

but yeah, I mean, right now I'm just sticking to Jesse's plan of just laying that on top of everything else. That's an interesting one. Please don't. You're asking me not to. I mean, look, I finally have you home. No, I finally have you home with the kids for two years if you're being gone.

Yeah. I kind of want to 100 more days. What's 100 more days? But I mean, I'm not gonna go away to do this. No, but it's gonna be like, you're running for fucking two times a day, babe, I gotta go do the run. It's gonna be like sober October for the next 100 days. Yeah, please.

That's only three months. Oh, for fuck's sake. It's just 100 days. Don't do this to my family. Fuck's sake. It's just 100 days. Don't do this to my family. Please, we finally just got you back. This is not a cool way to get into it. You know what I mean? It's fine.

I'll find someone else to motivate me throughout the race. That's fine. Yes. Can't you do another running partner? You can get a running partner. Sure. Yeah. I don't want to better myself. But then also, when we came up with what happens if I don't finish, because the other day, you remember, I was like, oh yeah, you're getting a big old, like chest piece tattoo. Yeah, I was like, I do not remember agreeing to that.

Yeah. Cause I think I was still in my catatonic state from like accepting the race. Yeah, it's pretty fucking sweet. I brought it up to my girlfriend, she's like, you're not fucking doing that. Well, you're not doing that if you finish. Right, Right.

If you do finish, it's the sweet sounds of Ireland all over your fucking chest. I wish, maybe we could rethink what the punishment would be, but is she... Placement of it? Like a finger, like what if it was just like the size of a finger and it's just like O'Callahan just like right here.

What if it's the entire back? Yeah, what if? Yeah. Yeah. The flag of Ireland, O'Callahan and huge Celtic like style writing. That's fucking badass. First of all, it's bad. Let's not act like it's not badass.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And also, yeah. That's better if you're out. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And also, if you're out, yeah, if you're out, yeah. Maybe a second one. Pro trans. Oh shit.

Just to show everybody, you really not in a trance. Yeah, then he came around, you know. Pro trans. He came around to transitional glasses. But we've been pro-trans. To be pro-transitional glasses. We'll say I'm pro-trans. Pro-transitional glasses. No, it says I'm pro-trans. There's a pro-transitional glass. We'll say I'm pro-trans. Pro-transitional glass.

No, it says I'm pro-trans. There's a pair of glasses underneath it and then whatever the trans flag is underneath that. She's really not into this tattoo. Well, maybe the lenses are transitional flags. You know what I mean? Very cool. Trans flags of lenses.

I like this idea. I agree. I like this idea better. We'll talk over that. That's safer than the prior. All you gotta do, I think the thing is you have better. Yeah, we'll talk about that. We'll talk over that. Let's say for the time. All you gotta do, I think the thing is, you have to finish under what? 430 or something?

No. What was the time? I don't remember the time. It was just that I need to finish it. No, I can't be just finish it. We gotta have some time restraint, right? Look, the limit is six hours, but I'm like, I'm training.

I'm training to finish it in six hours. Okay, so you have to be under that. But then it's like, if I finish the marathon, it's just a little over six hours, and it's like, well, you're fucking. Prison tats all over you, like, and all that. It's fucking awesome. For you guys, yeah, I think you guys would love it.

I think you're gonna dig what we come up with. I'm not sending you to some- Yeah, I'm not sending you to some- I just heard what you came up with. I'm not sending you to some- I'm not sending you to some- I was just heard what you came up with. I'm not sending you to some dipshit fucking tattoo art. I'm gonna send you to like one of the like the ill-manic tattoo. The quality of the tattoo is now what's concerning me. The quality of the tattoo artist.

The size of it is gonna be fucking cool. But we never see your chest anyways. Have we seen his chest the whole time? By the way, you don't think your girl is gonna be like, you look like you just fucking served 25 years for aggravated battery and like it looks cool. You know, I talked to her about it, about it. She said, not a turn on, not something I want.

Okay, and then you'll be like, oh, I guess well, there's a new guy here, patio calehane's gonna fuck your brain up. Look, she said as long as I'm cool with it, and I want to get it, then yeah, there's no reason for her to get into it, but that gigantic Celtic piece on my back is definitely not something I want.

Yeah, well, that is either gonna motivate you. Yeah. Or we'll probably have, I'm guessing that the Irish tours and boards gonna get winded this and be like, this is pretty fucking cool. Maybe we can bring Patty back to Ireland for a, and I'm willing to guess that your girlfriend will dig a cool trip to see the beautiful landscape of Ireland, Dublin's an amazing city.

So, if I pass the finish line under six hours, I'm getting sent on a cool trip to Ireland with my girl. No. I think you're probably going on that trip if you don't finish because you're going to have an enormous Irish tattoo on your body. If I don't finish, I'm getting sent there with a gigantic tattoo.

I think so. That does sweeten it a little bit. Yeah, yeah And people probably come around you being pro trans at that point and that'll be a I don't know why you always say the whole thing Yeah, yeah, I know you're such a Under six you got to be under six. You got to be under six. Just do it alone.

Under six. Be a man. Do it alone. Be a man. And maybe, yeah, you got to do it. Maybe I'll do it with you. You know, I don't have time for that. I mean, it's not like I want to.

So, by the way, just so you know, in the drops, this is labeled Jews, Jews. That's so worse. By the way, just so you know, in the drops, this... Juice! Juice! Is labeled juice, juice. That is a man getting sprayed in the face by a woman's squirt, and he's saying juice, juice. Uh-oh, it's their job. Yeah, juice. That's why she's like, uh-uh.

He's not going, juice, juice. Why a woman is orgasming, you know? No, yeah, that was a little before my time. Like I know the drop, but I wasn't around for the origin of it. Juice. Juice, we'll change that. We'll turn it, we'll move that to the blue folder.

Important. It's very important. Do you mind if I do a follow up email? Sure. Yeah, this is from the cap report, ED is cap, which we, any disclosed last few episodes back, ED erectile dysfunction is cap. So this one came in, I'm studying to take my MCAT and could it help but share this little detail from my book.

For context, it's giving examples of medicalization, which basically means what qualifies as being sick is a social construct. As an example, it says that erectile dysfunction was only begun to be considered a medical issue as opposed to, quote, aging or some other personal failure, and quote, ie being gay, after the accidental discovery that Viagra caused boners. If somebody didn't get a boner instead of fixing their blood pressure, ED probably wouldn't even be considered a medical issue. So basically, ED is cap.

You're right about that. And it doesn't actually exist. It's a social construct. Crazy. What else is in he right about? This is just like PMS and panic attacks. How do you get? And bisexual men.

And bisexual men. Yeah. And bisexual men. And fuck it, I forgot to reach out. I gotta get reach out to this guy about this. Okay. And bisexual men. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He's a bonafide, a bonafide. Yeah, yeah, I really wanted to weigh in on this. And then another guy rode in. Oh. So I was a big time heroin junkie. And when I couldn't find a usable vein, I'd shoot heroin in my dick vein. Wow.

Which is actually not as easy as one might think. Anyways, I got sober seven years ago, got fat and out of shape, yet still after some manual dick rehabilitation, everything is just fine. So there you go. Very cool. Is Cap. Yeah. It's also cool to know that you can shoot heroin into your dick. I did not know that. I actually did not. I heard about people going into like in between their toes for the run out at, you know, track more, you know what I mean? Like everything's all, but into your dick vein.

Cause everyone sees that vein. You're like, oh, I got a big vein there. And this guy was like, oh, I could shoot up right there. It's fucking, what am I, fucking idiot? Fucking heroin in my dick. It's perfect. I wonder if you feel it first to in your dick. That's what I was gonna say.

Like I wonder how it goes in your body. Like, that's pretty crazy, dude. Very cool. Well, this was a lot of fun. Yes, it was. I had a great time today. It was so easy. Always fun to come do the Palm Cast here.

Thank you guys for listening. Thanks for watching. Hopefully soon, our very own Adavila's stopping. Anti-trans and original glasses. Cut that out. We will see you. And don't forget to buy the shirt. It's in the stores now.

Don't forget to get the Dada Dada's anti-transition. Slasses. Thank you. Very soon. Love you. Bye-bye. Quick, put it personal, perfect. Yes.

Guys, I'm key him. I'm one of the people who's very very prone to sensory overload. We're all fresh and ready to go. Thank you, Comrade. If we want to defeat capitalism, we are going to need a party that will organize working people to fight for the demands that we want and to win socialism. I wanna play you pretty good I wanna play you pretty good I wanna play you pretty good I wanna play you pretty good I wanna play you pretty good I wanna play you pretty good I wanna play you pretty good

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