Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - Why Does Popular Music Suck? w/ The Black Keys | Your Mom's House Ep. 768

Episode Date: July 17, 2024

Asheville, NC and Roanoke, VA! Tom is coming to you! Get tickets at https://tomsegura.com/tour! SPONSORS: -Head to https://policygenius.com/YMH to get your free life insurance quotes and see how much you could save -Head to https://zbiotics.com/YMH and use the code YMH at checkout for 15% off. -Check out the new softside Luggage from Away at https://awaytravel.com/ymh -Get up to 60% off your Babbel subscription at https://babbel.com/YMH My brother didn't believe me, but he believes me now, Tod and Kristine are back again! This week on Your Mom's House Podcast, the Main Mommies talk about a ding dong on Christina's nose, Tom's hot and spicy gas, before opening the show with a clip featuring Noel Gallagher of Oasis sharing some colorful thoughts on people in the world. They also call up Brenden the YMH merch guy to discuss their recent fixation on taking calls on the toilet. They also check out some clips about piggy parties, pronoun fun, and mermaid tail etiquette. Christina and Tom welcome musical duo, The Black Keys aka Dan Auerbach and Patrick Carney. They just cancelled their recent tour, so they've got some free time and share why that even happened in the first place. They talk about how they got together, their early success, and drop a YMH exclusive concerning whether or not they've gone airtight together. The Black Keys also run a gauntlet of Horrible or Hilarious clips from Tom, talk some trash about popular musicians, discuss the differences between bombing on stage doing comedy vs live music, and so much more! Your Mom’s House Ep. 768 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://christinaponline.com/tour-dates https://store.ymhstudios.com https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to your mom's house. Welcome to the program. We're here. We're queer and not going anywhere. Get used to it. Yep. Learn how to say it. You've got a cool summer dad shirt on.

Yeah. So I knew it was going to be 145 today. So I just said, fuck it. But this is a new corner that you've turned because once you get into summer dad attire, you're officially a dad. Let me tell you a little story about my fat Indian stepdad who's now dead. There was a time like he did dress cool and then he turned 50 something and then he would go to Tommy Bahamas.

I did not go to Tommy Bahamas. And that became his favorite. Look, that's a little Tommy Bahama. The flowers and stuff. Where did you get this? I got it at a department store. It's made by a company called Vince. And I just thought, you know,

it's very hot in this climate and this area we live in. So something that goes with the incredible heat and humidity here. Yeah. I feel your judgment. You were wearing a curious top for this weather. A mink sweater.

Do you know why? 100 degrees out. Because it's freezing in here. That's what we do. I'm colder in the summer than I am in the winter because you guys make it 60 because all the guys in here are like, I'm hot. Yeah.

Fully retarded. Fully retarded. It's very hot out. It is very hot. Can I tell you something that's really cool that's been going on for the last week? What? Is I have a ding dong on my nose. Now I put makeup on it.

Yeah, you look like Rudolph. It's one of those that is so awfully placed. It's like the worst place to get it. I've had it. I've had it before too, yeah. Why? Why does God give it to you right on the tip of your nose? He's trying to teach you a lesson. It's like the most humiliating. He's teaching you a lesson. He's making you think about your week. What did you do this week? I know. And you know what's interesting is that though,

now that I'm old, I don't care as much. I just cover it up and I go on with my life. But I remember getting a ding dong here when I was like 15 or 14. Oh, it's, yeah. You wanna not go to school. You're like, I'm not going to school. Yeah.

I think I skipped school one day because then you pick at it and you're like, just get rid of it and it makes it worse. I did love squeezing them. Of course. In high school and just, you hit the get rid of it and it makes it worse. I did love squeezing them in high school. And you hit the mirror with it. I'm gonna throw up.

Yeah. I would do that. You go, you see pus and blood on the mirror. Thank you. Did you have bad acne? No, not bad. I was lucky. But you know, you'd get zits still.

Oh, I know. Yeah. This is hormonal. Wait, because I had my period last week. You had your period too. I had my period too. Did you get get zits still. I know. Yeah. This is hormonal. Wait, cause I had my period last week. You had your period too. I had my period too. Did you get any zits? Oh yeah, a little bit, yeah.

But not too bad, not like that one. That one's really bad. Yeah, well I'm done now. Did your boobs hurt? A little bit. Yeah. Is your period over? Yeah, done.

Whew. Yeah. And now how much- Have you flow or no? It was, no, it was pretty light. What did you use? What, did you Whew. Yeah. I know how much. Have you slow or no? It was, no, it was pretty light. What did you use? What, do you like use Tampax?

What do you use? Yeah, I like, I like a plastic applicator. What kind do you like? Plastic applicator too, yeah. Really? What size are you using nowadays? Large. Large?

Mm-hmm. Large. Yeah. Mm-hmm. They're not called large. They are. Super, it's super regular and slim. Well, super is how we, you know,

it's another word for large. And you use the plastic applicator? Mm-hmm. Yeah. Where do you put the applicator once you're done with it? Where do you think? Where? When I'm done with it?

Mm-hmm. I flush it. Mm-hmm. Yeah. I usually, I look for something that says don't flush here and I put it in there. Mm. Yeah. Yeah, it's not nice to flush the plastic applicator down the toilet

I know it always says don't put any other foreign objects here and then I put it in there But I do it in public. I don't do it at home. And what what underwear do you wear when you're on your period? I don't wear thongs Right. Yeah, do you switch up what you wear? You just wear your normal? No, I have a wider pair a what? Wider pair of underwear whiter wide wide wider. Yeah. Yeah, why whiter? I just feel more comfortable cuz I kind of feel gross when I'm having my period I don't feel like wearing something sexy, right? Yeah. Yeah same same Z. Oh really? Yeah, I just shut it down those days Oh, I shut it down so hard. I'm even feel like living. I just want to stay in bed.

Me too. And I get so sweaty. Do you get sweaty? Yeah, I get diarrhea too. Really? Yeah, sometimes. That's cool. Yeah. Yep.

It's weird. You and I totally are cycling now. That's pretty crazy. Yeah. Well, men can have periods. Oh, of course men can have periods too. So, yeah, you know, it's interesting. Speaking of Oh, of course men can have periods too. So Yeah, you know, it's interesting speaking of diarrhea I farted the other day It's one of the rare times that I farted and

Right away you go. Did you have sushi? I go. Yeah. Yeah sushi And you go, yep, I can smell my babies., my baby ate. Yeah, you know, it's funny, when you have a child, a little infant, you can start telling what they ate based on their gas. You farted and I smelled sushi. It's crazy. It was like, it was wild. It was so special. It was salmon. Salmon, yeah.

Wow, I wonder, I'm gonna start trying to identify. Usually when your farts are sour, that's like eggs. You know what you did, which was really smart? You were flying, you were about to get on a flight. And then you had a sushi burrito. That was a poor choice. What happened was, it was Heather's birthday. And she got to pick whatever she wanted for lunch,

and she chose this place, and they gave us a tuna, like a tuna poke kind of wrap. It was like a big sushi roll, basically. And I got the spicy, and I got extra spicy sauce on it. I remember as I was like two bites into it, you go, aren't you gonna fly in a couple hours? And I said, yeah, you go, is that the smart thing to be eating before that flight?

And I was like, why don't you mind your own business? And then I gotta tell you something. It was one of the rare times you were right. It was a very poor decision. And I had very big problems on the flight and post flight. It destroyed me. Oh, did you diarrhea on the plane? Wow. Yeah, flight and post flight. It destroyed me. Did you diarrhea on the plane?

Wow. Yeah, and it was hot. It was spicy. Oh, that's the worst. Feel it coming out with heat. But I'll tell you what I didn't do. I didn't make a business call while I was doing it. Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

You're out of your mind. So can I tell you what I started doing? Started doing? Well, I just started doing this. Jesus Christ. I just started. Can I tell you why I started doing? Started doing? Well I just started doing this. Jesus Christ. I just started, can I tell you why? Just coming into your own? I really am, now that I'm 48,

I really have entered a level of freedom. I'm so free, Tom. You are free. I really am, because I am on death's door. I don't have many years left. I know. And you know what? What? I see why older people are just cooler, cause you're like, I don't, what am I? I don't have many years left. I know. And you know what? What?

I see why older people are just cooler cause you're like, I don't, what am I? They don't give a shit. So I started doing business calls and I was on the toilet the other day. Well, we all do business calls from the toilet. Everybody does business calls from the toilet. I didn't know that.

Yeah, but the difference is there is, no one even has to learn this. It's just a built- in normal function of etiquette where when you're on a call and you're on the toilet, you speak and then you hit mute while you're doing your business. And you told me, you're like, oh, I don't hit mute. I don't hit mute.

So people listen to you pee and fart and flush. Well, here's the difference. Hold on. I feel as though if I were to speak and then mute, speak and mute, that is more sus, as the kids say. It's more suspicious than me just, they have the regular background noise, and then I pee. I don't fart every time I pee, that's you.

I'm a woman, I don't fart. I don't fart every time I pee either. I think a lot of men do. No, we don't all fart every time I pee, that's you. I'm a woman. I don't fart. I don't fart every time I pee either. I think a lot of men do. No, we don't all fart every time we pee. When you're at the urinals, you're always telling me that men fart at the urinals. Sometimes, but it's not every time. It's not every time.

It's not close to every time. But the difference is, if you're on the toilet, you just mute when you're not talking. And if you're gonna make a noise, like with pee, you mute it. So you let them hear you pee them hear you let them hear me pee and here's the interesting thing are you doing this with Brendan our merch guy just heard you piss but he didn't say anything yeah cuz he's super polite but here's the thing man here's the deal is also because I am a woman, I also think that people would be like,

there's no way this girl is sitting on the toilet because she's a girl. And she wouldn't, right? They're like, there's no way a woman would sit on the toilet. A decent thing. The only thing that could be happening is that while you're peeing,

the guy is jacking off because you're peeing. Because some guys really like to hear a girl pee. So that could be happening. God, that's so disgusting. Well, welcome to the real world. So everything is why is everything sexualized? Oh, your peeing is everything. Yeah. Even my browning now.

Yeah. Yeah. Some guys are going to definitely. Please don't make so much noise so I can hear you shit more clearly. But I don't think they hear me browning because it's very quiet when I brown I don't make big drops like you you when you do it. It's it's catastrophic. It's not it sounds like a disaster Let's start the show Crazy nobody knows ask Brendan. Hold on the answers are a lot the world the world is a great place It's just inhabited by Alex the internet's fault. Slares. Amen.

That shit is big time! Oh my God. I love him. Don't bring anyone loving to this. Move, Gallagher. Your mom and the fuck is dead! Welcome. Welcome to your mom's house.

With Tom Segura. And Christina Pagizzi. Christina Pagizzi. Welcome to your mom's house. and Um, can I tell you, I have been, I've always loved the Gallagher brothers, but lately I'm on a Noel Gallagher kick. Yeah. Because I love everything this guy says. He's a fucking... Ugh. He's like, the world is a great place inhabited by... Ugh. And it's the internet's fault.

Alright, hold on. Isn't that the truth? Let's do this real quick. That is a true thing. How do we... Okay. We're calling. Should we tell the audience when we're done? Yeah, we're calling Brendan. We're calling Brendan right now,

the person that Christina was speaking to. What's up guys? Wednesday, August 7th, I will be appearing at the Asheville Comedy Festival in Asheville, North Carolina. Then the next day, Thursday, August 8th, I'm at the Berglund Center in Roanoke, Virginia. Tickets and all info is at tomscigurra.com slash tour.

A lot of life is unpredictable, but a good life insurance plan gives your family a financial safety net to protect against some of the unknowns. Policy Genius is the country's leading online insurance marketplace. It makes choosing the right policy for your family easy and quick. With Policy Genius, you can find life insurance policies

that start at just $292 per year for $1 million of coverage. Some options are 100% online and let you avoid unnecessary medical exams. This has been drilled into my head for as long as I can remember that you have to have all types of insurance, but especially life insurance if you have a family and if you have to have all types of insurance but especially life

insurance if you have a family and if you have anybody that counts on you. The nice thing about Policy Genius is that it helps you easily compare your options from America's top insurers in just a few clicks. Their award-winning agents can even walk you through the process step by step. Your work life insurance policy may not offer enough protection for your family's needs. You can get peace of mind by finding the right life insurance with Policy Genius. Head to policygenius.com slash YMH or click the link in the description to get your free life insurance quotes and see how much you could save. That's policygenius.com slash YMH.

One in five Americans have learned a new language on their bucket list. If that's you, make 2024 the year you finally check it off the list with Babbel. Be a better you this year with Babbel, the science-backed language learning app that actually works. Don't pay hundreds of dollars for private tutors or waste hours on apps

that don't really help you speak the language. Babbel's quick 10-minute lessons are handcrafted by over 200 language experts to help you start speaking a new language in as little as three weeks. Babbel's tips and tools are approachable, accessible, rooted in real life situations, and delivered with conversation-based teaching.

I gotta tell you, the thing that I love about Babbel is the fact that you have to spell things out. When you're doing the spelling, I think you really retain how a word is obviously written, how you're supposed to say it. It goes into a part of your brain that you otherwise will not retain unless you actually write these words out.

Here's a special limited time deal for our listeners. Right now, get up to 60% off your Babbel subscription, but only for our listeners at babbel.com slash ymh. Get up to 60% off at babbel subscription, but only for our listeners at Babbel.com slash YMH get up to 60% off at Babbel.com slash YMH that's spelled B-A-B-B-E-L dot com slash YMH Rules and restrictions may apply. So I peed and pooped Okay Hey Brendan. Hey. Hey, this is Tom. You're on your mom's house right now, just so you know.

Oh, awesome. So we just had a revelation and we had to call you to follow up on this. Christina spoke to you recently. Did you have any idea what she was doing while you were speaking to her? I did not. No. while you were speaking to her? I did not. No, because she just shared, she's the only person I know like this, that she was using the bathroom but she doesn't mute when she does business calls in the bathroom. That's wonderful to find out.

And so I think she peed and shit and she's like... Two separate calls. Two separate calls. One I peed on with you. That is making sense now. And I was like, why don't you just hit mute like when you're done speaking and do your business? She's like, no, I just do it.

And I'm like like that's insane But Brendan you didn't notice I Did not notice Wow Say and if you did and I noticed and if you did why don't you think like oh, it's one of the kids Yeah, I would have assumed that only the child would do that. Right. Like, you wouldn't in your wildest dreams imagine that a nice woman like me would do that.

Never, never. Expect it from Tom, but not from you. Thank you! And Brendan, have you ever done a call on the toilet? I am on the toilet right now. You are? Okay. call on the toilet. I am on the toilet right now. You are, okay. And do you, do you do the mute and then release thing? Yep.

Yeah, see? It's like a courtesy flush. Exactly. But he's a man. Have some respect. I don't make as loud of sounds as he does. He obviously didn't hear them and he didn't suspect it cause I'm a woman, no harm, no foul. So you're just gonna keep rolling that dice. Why of course I am

Who cares everybody I talked to knows me and loves me. They know I love them right Brendan. We're practically family Who do I talk to agent jeans Brendan? Okay. There's like five people. I talk to you regularly maybe all right You know what I'm gonna do as as just as a Courtesy to you is I'm gonna take it for a spin. I'm gonna go ahead and do my next Call the same way no mutes. You're gonna lose friendships though. You're gonna lose business relationships. No Could you do a notes call with Netflix? the tone? Brendan, I will call you, but I need to call you to talk about some stuff and- Yeah, just disable video

if you're gonna be on the theater. Okay, I won't use video, but I'll go completely unmuted, okay? Sounds good. Okay. He was unmuted himself to talk. Thank you, thank you, Brendan. Did you hear that?

Okay. My pleasure. All right. Thank you, Brendan. Yeah. Yeah. You're insane. I don't talk to as many people. Here's what I literally talk to, Agent Jeans, Brendan, some friends.

You're so crazy. That's it. Whatever. You, do you hear me, Shannon? I do it to you all the time. Yeah. But I know when you're doing it, I know when you're doing it, when you call me from the road,

you're always on the toilet, because you're always delayed. I'll ask you a question, there's a time delay, and I'm like, oh, he's shitting. How does the time delay affect it? Because I'll be like, hey, babe, so what are we doing today? And you go, I'm like, babe, and you're like, we're going to go, we're going to go to the thing.

Oh, because I'm muting and I'm muting, yeah, yeah. Yeah, see, I do it to you. I'm nice, I do it to you. But that makes it more suspicious. I would rather just hear the plops. Really? And keep it in real time. God. All right, you know what?

Yeah. You're gonna get your wish. You're gonna get your wish. Listen, this is to all the women, go ahead and be free, make your calls on the toilet, because the guys aren't even assuming you're doing something that crazy. That's true.

That's the best part. You listen, as a woman you have carte blanche to be as crazy as you want to be. No one suspects that we do anything. Anything interesting or anything. Well this is for you just because you're just inspired a whole bunch of people. Yeah. As I touch the top of her breast with my fingertips, I then go down them to the nipple slowly, slightly, and gently.

Ugh. And then I tickle them until they become erect. Ew. Tom, listen, since we're sexual right now, why are you so happy about that, you shithead? I hope you wear adult braces for the rest of your life. I hope they don't work. You have to get the metal ones.

Don't laugh. I hate that you like this. And I hate this. I hate this. Are you so happy? You shit. Stupid. I hate that you like this so much. Happy shit. Stupid.

I hate that you like this so much. As I touch her nipples with my fingertips. Stop, I'm gonna puke, ew. And then go into a circular motion. Okay, I'm gonna throw up. I'd rather watch vomiting. My fingertips slowly, slightly, gently. Stop. Ew.

This guy's so, and he has to show me his finger. That's the worst part of it. He's so disgusting. He's never been with a woman voluntarily. This is disgusting. Okay, I thought you might like it. Wait, are you gonna show me another one? No, that's it.

Well then hold on, since we're on the topic of horny, cool things. Another email came in. Okay. Hi mommies, please keep this anonymous, but you're welcome to read on the show. I heard you put a call out for booger eaters and I wanted to reach out. I'm a 29 year old married father of two, and I've been munching on those nuggets since I was a wee tot.

Tommy is right that it started as a childhood thing and I was just never able to kick the habit. I tried many, many times, but it just stuck with me. I've been able to be more discreet about it. Now, it typically happens when I'm not even thinking about it. It's subconscious. I scroll it just like scratching my head or adjusting my chair.

I'm a high school teacher, so occasionally I'll be plucking a real gooey goober while I'm working at my desk and my students are working and one of them will catch it from the corner of her eye and will share the quiet look of horror together. It's a real bonding experience. I'd love to kick the habit,

but I'm not sure where to start. Coming up in May. Let's just... You like the horny vids? I like the booger stuff. Okay. I wish we could have people send in videos of them eating their boogers. You sure about that?

Real scraggly ones. And put attention, Tom. As a fat person, I often dread medical appointments because of blatant medical fat phobia. The last OB appointment I went to, the provider blamed everything on my weight and told me that I needed to go on a medication that made me feel really terrible. This OB appointment that I just went to, I've been dreading and the provider was amazing. She asked me what my pronouns are Oh, she asked me about my name

She made me feel super comfortable I think about my trauma history so that she knew how to touch me in ways that were not harmful She just was like great and I was crying before getting my blood drawn because I just never have good experiences with medical providers. And so I don't know, I just wanted to share. Babe, could you imagine the fat phobia in the medical

community? Yeah, you go to the doctor and they're like, you're too fat. God, it's so mean. It's so crazy. Medical providers have this crazy fat phobia thing going. I know. Ugh, here's the thing. Your blood works terrible and I'm gonna really fucking blow your mind here. It's cause you're fat.

Yeah. I know, so hateful of me to say, these people are insane. Could you imagine? Look, all your issues, I'm sure, are related to the fact. I drew 5,000 pounds. Yeah, you need to lose weight. Imagine look all your issues. I'm sure Yeah, you need to lose weight By the way, I think I would be so annoyed if I went to my OB and she's like, what are your pronouns? What's your trauma history like?

Like bitch put that in there and let's get out Let's get out of here. Could you imagine I get annoyed even now when they want to make chit chat with me I'm like just go with it. I went to a dentist and she was very loving and sweet. And she was like, is this okay? I'm like, just go. Go. I'm from the 80s, I don't care.

Yeah, shove it in there. Shove it in, let's go. I took a Xanax. Move it up and let's go. Yeah, I don't want you to talk to me. Fuck right off. What's your name? She asked me about my name, what the fuck? What do the other ones do? They don't want you to talk to me. Fuck right off. What's your name? She asked me about my name, what the fuck?

What do the other ones do? They don't ask your name? I think she asked me my trauma. Could you imagine asking your trauma history? Boy, that appointment would take me five hours to tell her my childhood story. Right. All right, all right.

Is this? Are you okay? Fuck you. That's in a car in a car the guys puking in the car isn't that crazy yeah you did you hey you did that cuz bo it! I don't like those Booker emails. Booker videos that are now gonna be submitted. Oh, you're gonna have a whole new problem on your hand. Go ahead, make them into TikToks, maybe send them in. Make them into TikToks. Just to be pulling a scrounger.

Hey Tom, hold on. I don't wanna get off the topic of pronouns because I know you and I are very conscientious about this stuff. Zolo, I sent you a picture. I don't know if you know this, I'm so excited now. Whenever you add a new contact to your iPhone, you can also add their pronouns.

Oh, that's cool. Isn't that great? Yeah. Rob Eyler was so considerate. He added my, I have a new phone number and then he made sure to check with me if I had new pronouns before he added my info. And I just thought that was really special. It comes in most emails, a lot of emails from companies. Like if you're dealing with somebody at professional level at a big company, it'll be in their

signature. I love that. I love to know what their gender is. But you know what we should start doing is also, what turns you on? What gives you an erection? Oh, have that in there. I wanna know more. Yeah. You know what I mean?

What turns you on? What are your sexual proclivities? PP in a cup for me. Yeah. That'd be really cool. Tell me more of your personal details. Yeah, I'd. Yeah, that'd be really cool. Tell me more of your your personal details Yeah, I'd like that be really nice. It was like my name is Jim Here's my phone number. Here's my email. He him armpit hair turns me on

Wait, so go back to that. Can can you are there like many because you know how on Instagram? They only give you certain options like they're Wait, Zolo, go back to that. Can you, are there like many, because you know how on Instagram they only give you certain options? Like they're, are they like ready-made options or can you write yours in, do you know what I'm saying? Let me look. Because on Instagram, they have the ready-made ones like urrs, minor, in case you want to know on Instagram,

minor like urrs, purrs, cause, like the most obscure ones. Yeah. But. You like that, huh? It is, Tom. It really makes you happy. That is so fun. Well, this is a kind of a.

What are your pronouns? Yes, you can add anything you want. Oh, that's awesome. It's really thoughtful. That's kind of on par with what Apple would do too. It's a very progressive tech company from California. It is Tom, it is. I see away luggage a lot when I travel and as much as I love its looks I prefer soft side suitcases and always wished away made one. Well guess what now they do this suitcase seriously looks better than any old-school soft side suitcase I've seen and is designed to be lighter than others on the market.

Softside comes in four of their bestselling sizes and tried and true colors. There's something for everyone in this lineup. Two carry-on sizes, two check sizes, four colors, black, blue, pink, and gray. Made from a high strength nylon, the bag is tear resistant as well as weather resistant. The bag is soft but not sensitive, super durable,

flexible and expandable. I gotta tell you as somebody who travels all the time, you want these soft side ones. They're easier to get things into, they're easier to put in the overhead, they're easier to lug around, you gotta get one. You gotta check out the new soft side luggage from Away. Head over to awaytravel.com slash y m h.

That's awaytravel.com slash y m h to see the new soft side luggage from Away. Awaytravel.com slash y m h. Zbiotic's pre-alcohol probiotic drink is the world's first genetically engineered probiotic. It was invented by PhD scientists to tackle rough mornings after drinking. Here's how it works. When you drink, alcohol gets converted into a toxic byproduct in the gut. It's this byproduct,

not dehydration, that's to blame for your rough next day. Z-biotics produces an enzyme to break this byproduct down. I use Z-biotics and it worked. Just remember to make Z-Biotics your first drink of the night. Drink responsibly and you'll feel your best tomorrow. That's all you got to do man. You got to get that Z-Biotics in your system before you start pounding the booze and then you're going to have a much better feeling the next day. Vacations, weddings, birthdays and reunions. oh my, so much going on. Get the most out of your spring plans

by stocking up on pre-alcohol now. Go to zbiotics.com slash ymh to get 15% off your first order when you use ymh at checkout. Zbiotics is backed with a 100% money back guarantee. So if you're unsatisfied for any reason, they'll refund your money, no questions asked. Remember to head to zbiotics.com slash YMH and use the code YMH at checkout for 15% off.

Thank you Zbiotics for sponsoring this episode and our good times. Here's another thing. This is very cool. I think this is really about etiquette and here's some mermaid etiquette you might not know about. You're so lucky to have a silicone tail. Very cool. I think this is really about etiquette. And here's some mermaid etiquette you might not know about. You're so lucky to have a silicone tail.

Hey, listen, I know that it might not be your intention, but that comment's a bit dismissive. I worked really hard to save up money for this tail and train for it. It wasn't just luck. Oh, I didn't think of it that way. I was giddy when I saw pictures of your tail You know what? I'll delete my comment on your Instagram post in a couple of minutes. No hard feelings

Not every conversation in the mermaid community needs to end in a fight. Please respect people's boundaries and feelings That's a really good point because some people are are commenting on Instagram to mermaids who have acquired a tail like this. A silicon tail. And you don't mean to say something like, oh how lucky. Because it is a bit dismissive

to how hard the person may have worked to acquire that tail. So just think about that when you're leaving comments for mermaids. Gosh, there's so much to consider. There's so much to consider. We don't think about this stuff. But can I tell you, I'm so happy that we finally are having these discussions.

Yeah. These marginalized communities, the mermaid community, they've been left out of the dialogue, you know? Yeah. Oh, isn't being a mermaid considered a pronoun? Can I make that one of my cool pronouns? You could make it a pronoun, but I don't think it's a pronoun to be like mermaid. Mermaid merman. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I'm really curious now to know what the etiquette in the mermaid community is because she's implying that there's a lot of rude comments within the mermaid community. Yeah. You know where there are also of rude comments within the mermaid. Yeah, you know where there also some comments. There is this a piggy party a fat girl party and They highlighted some of the big comments here. Look at these They all got together just eat everything a poor black man's dream Nobody in this room will be alive in ten years

will be alive in ten years. Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ. Some big broads in that room. Shit. Ha! Some guy's holding on the ceiling. Yeah. Ah, so funny. Not a lot left on that plate right there on the front,

huh? But Tom, this is the type of fat phobia that woman was talking about earlier. Imagine if they all went to the doctor. The doctor would be like, I got to tell you something. It's not looking good for anybody. And they'd be like, ugh, let me guess. It's because I weigh 400 pounds? Well, also, it's because the BMI scale is patriarchal and hateful.

Everybody knows that. It didn't consider other ethnicities and body types. That's right. It's based on a white heterogeneous, homogeneous view of the female body. Everybody knows that, Tom. It's normal to have a 50 BMI. Everybody knows that. That is true. Well hold on. Well let's see what they are eating.

I'm looking at, I'm seeing some enchiladas, some other starchy carbs. Yeah. That's no good man. I saw this clip where these big old chicks, big broads, were sitting on a talk show and The guy goes well, I think you just need to eat less and move more and they all went oh here We go like like it was

It was crazy to say And he was like what It's not what it's about. He's like, you're just fucking eating too much and you're not moving. They were so upset by it. You know, this is a horrible thing my father used to say all the time. Which thing?

All the things I heard growing up. But the problem with a lot of things my crazy parents said is that they were inherently true, much like Noel Gallagher. You're like, the world is full of and it's the internet's fault. My father would say whenever they would say that stuff, eat less, move more, and then the people go, no, it's glandular.

He's like, there were no fat people in Auschwitz. There were no fat people. Right, they were starved. In Auschwitz. Think about that. There's no glandular disorders. No food. There's no, you know, hypo whatever thalamus problems. You're not big boned.

You're just eating too much. Yeah, I'm surprised Auschwitz hasn't come out with a statement about that. Yeah. Against my dad. No, just being like, hey, the one thing we could also tell you is that there was definitely no fat people here.

For all you wondering, if it's your glands, it's the food. There's no food in your life when you're here. There's no fat people. Yeah, if you don't eat, you won't be fat. You won't be fat. Oh, here we go. Back to the food again. Speaking of, I am having to up my Ozempies

because I'm eating right through it again. So remember I told you I overdosed myself on 50. Yeah. Well now I'm like having to go to 25 or 30 just to keep it because I'm eating right through it I mean, I'm eating like I got I got fucking those powdered doughnuts. Yeah I don't even call them doughnuts because they're so fucking fake. I saw those. They're so good because they're just, I'm on this like wanting to eat all the shit I grew up on like trash. But why don't you get the fresh, like good ones? I don't like the good, this is the problem. I don't like the good fresh ones.

Your palate is fucked. Because I grew up eating garbage. I like Entenmann's, Hostess, I like the fake ass chocolate little donuts. I like white trash food and I'm just now making peace with that. Why don't you go to this party? That's what I like. They have plenty of'm just now making peace with that. Why don't you go to this party? That's what I like. They have plenty of that shit.

I know. That's the problem though is they're not on the OZempies. No, they're definitely not. You can eat one or two of the little donuts. The whole bag. So we're upping the dose. So I got to up my own dose. So I'm almost going to be up to 50 naturally soon.

Wow. I'm not losing right now. And I discovered P.T. Terry's, P. Terry's. That's the real problem. That shit's good. That's why they don't like In-N-Out here because I think it's their In-N-Out. It's like better, huh?

I still think In-N-Out's better. I know, California In-N-Out, but not Texas In-N-Out. It's too different here. It doesn't taste the same, right? I still think yeah in and out of here. It's better than that bullshit. What a burger fuck what a burger Even a fucking bad. It's terrible. It's like paper. Yeah, just tastes like mayonnaise to me Yeah, that shit sucks, dude. All right. Let's take a quick break. Okay We'll be back to talking about farts and dicks after this quick break.

And we're back and you can check out the new album from our guest called Ohio Players, baby. And please welcome the Black Keys, everybody. You guys are from Ohio. I'm from Ohio. Beautiful part. I'm from Cincinnati. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, we're from the Browns area.

Yeah. Of Ohio. You're from the... You're from Akron? Yeah. Yeah. we're from the Browns area of Ohio. You're from the? You're from Akron? Yeah. Yeah. You're from, that's where LeBron's from, right? Yeah.

We used to, when we first started the band, I lived in this house with four other dudes, like a punk rock house kind of in the hood. And this was like 2001, 2002, I lived there. But yeah, we would see LeBron, I think Nike hired his mom to get him some money. Yeah. Because he was driving to school

and this brand new yellow Hummer. Hummer, yeah, I remember that story. And I would get behind him sometimes. Like this guy. This is a kid in high school who's got a Hummer? This is wild. Yeah. Yeah, worked out for him.

He's doing all right. He's doing all right. Yeah, he's doing pretty good. wild. Yeah, yeah. Worked out for him, he's doing all right. He's doing all right. Yeah, he's doing pretty good. Yeah, yeah, I like meeting Ohio people. I think it's always exciting to meet somebody that branched out and did something. I know, we're very proud of our own. Yeah, yeah, Ohio for sure, yeah.

Oh, the Deal Sisters are from there. The Deal Sisters. Kim and Kelly Deal. Do you know them? Yeah, I mean I I've spent more time with Kim. Yeah, tell me about her. I met her one time in Silverlake and I don't fangirl out ever. I was carrying a Pixies bag that I had made for me that's how much of a fan and Tom's like you gotta talk to her. I'm like, I don't know don't know fucking asshole and she was the nicest and totally normal and she's like, yeah

I just give me your email. I'll email you we're doing a show and I was like She's freaking out. She's so great. If you're freaking out. I was like she's like I should Yeah, you should fucking say something. You've never you've never been like this. We took a picture We had this we ran a part of an old rubber factory where we kind of had as a studio for a while in 2004. The General Tire Factory. Yeah. And Kim and Kelly drove from Dayton to Akron.

They wanted to make some demos there. So I spent an afternoon with them once. And they were just so cool. But yeah, they were like heavily addicted to Starbucks at the time. I think we went there like two times, they kept getting these giant frappuccinos. Yeah.

But yeah, they were just the coolest. Yeah, they're sisters, they're almost identical twins. You two are not related. We're not. But you may as well be, because you've been together for so long. We've, yeah, we've been doing this for. No, you know, a couple.

You guys are a gay. We are. We've known each other since 1989. Damn. Yeah. How'd you guys meet? Dating gay dating. And we're like, is that a Namble? Come. Yeah, that's cool. Our dads took us to Namble.

Perfect. Our dads took us to Nambo. We met because my dad bought a house around the corner from where Dan lived. Just a total old fashioned neighborhood. Like there's one way to get one street got in this giant neighborhood. And were you both already jamming? Like you know, hey I play instruments. This is when we were like nine. We were playing and having acorn fights.

Oh, that's cool. Yeah, it's like, you know, like the movie, like Stand By Me, it was like, when I saw that, it was just like, that's essentially felt like how our neighborhood felt. Yeah, we had the train tracks and under the bridge, hell yeah. Dead bodies and stuff.

Oh yeah. Yeah, Memorial Parkwayway where that guy died. Nice. There was like a little, I guess they called it the workhouse is where they put people who got too many DUIs on the other side of this valley that we could see and there's always like, you hear about the butcher escape from the workhouse.

Being in the woods, just worried about making shit up, I guess. And then when did you start, did you guys start playing in high school? We both started playing music on our own, independently. Like, and then our younger brothers were in the same grade. Yeah, we were in separate grades. We were one year apart.

So it was like, you know, when you get into school, it's like when you're in different grades, you might as well be in different universes. Yeah, for sure. Sometimes, so we didn't really know each other too well. I just knew him from the neighborhood. I knew Pat, I knew his brother Will, and his brother Michael.

We'd take the bus and he would go that way and I'd go this way, you know? But then our brothers one day said, hey, you know Pat plays drums. And told Pat that I play guitar, you guys should get together so it was like we yeah we never knew yeah he came down he came down my house but you know I was hanging out with his brother all the time but yeah I never

hung out with Dan he came down with the guitar and just was like you know started ripping like these you know really cool guitar parts. He's like, yeah, I'm into this like blues from Northern Mississippi. Like this, I was like, and I had just happened to be like into one of the same guys through a whole different channel. Like, and it was weird. Cause he was the only other person I knew that was.

Into that kind of thing. And we were a block away from each other. Yeah. Isn't it kind of crazy too that you, that means you've, you've seen each other evolve as musicians. Like you basically met each other when you were pretty new. You've seen each other like kind of. Well, I mean, I showed Dan how to record like on a four track tape recorder.

Wow. He had never seen one. So, yeah, we've seen it. We've from the very beginning, you know, we've learned how to do it all together. Yeah, we have no idea what we were doing. We do, you know, we do. Which is all the part of the fun of it, you know what I mean? Yeah.

Being just idiots in the studio, we'd like tape a microphone to our chin. Yeah. Yeah, because you know, the way that the whole band kinda came about, really was we were jamming occasionally, we would get together, you know, like 1997, 98, whatever,

when we were just kind of finishing high school. And then we both found ourselves going to the University of Akron, like both like third year freshmen. I just kept taking ceramics classes and like, it was, we were both like probably. Make some more ashtrays. We were like at all, you know, our lowest point.

The only thing I remember about the University of Akron was the guy who sold euros, like right in the middle. Yeah. They were pretty good. Yeah. It was essentially high school part two. It was what that is. Yeah.

It was so pitiful. Yeah, I mean back when we were going there, you could still smoke in like the student union. Oh, that's fun. So we just sit there and smoke. That's the best. Yeah, my school used to have a bar, like on campus. There was a bar there.

Yeah, now they took it out and you can't smoke anywhere. It's so lame. Nothing's fun anymore. Nothing's fun anymore. At the time, my girlfriend went to this school called Oberlin. Yeah, I remember Oberlin. I would go there,

because they'd always have cool concerts, and everyone would just make fun of me, and call me a townie. But I could go there and pretend to be a student, I could get beers for 25 cents on Monday. It was kind of amazing. Dude, how would you pretend to be a student at Oberlin? I mean, I just looked like a student.

When I did a semester abroad in Spain, in Madrid, you smoke in the classroom. Oh, that's so great. So the professor would smoke and kids would be smoking. Fucking crazy. Like, those were the days. Well, actually, I remember when my mom, my mom went to the University of Acre when I was a kid,

and I definitely remember you could smoke in the classroom there. That's awesome. That's amazing. In the mid 80s. But yeah, anyway, we found ourselves, you know, kind of living in Akron at 21 and I hadn't seen Dan in like a year and I ran into him

and he had this bar band that was playing like four or five nights a week around Northeast Ohio. And he was, that's how he supported himself. Yeah, we would just do like three hour sets. I would just play anywhere. What would you play? Just covers, mostly old songs. Old country songs, blues songs.

Sometimes I would play solo if they just wanted a duo, I'd bring, you know, whatever they needed. I would provide it. It's still so crazy to hear that that worked out for someone, you know what I mean? Like when you hear someone's playing covers at a bar and that you evolve into a super successful. To his credit, he called me and was like,

well, I ran into each other. We ran into each other and he told me what he was up to and I was like, oh yeah, I just got this new kind of recorder. I just got a credit card and went new kind of recorder. I just had like, got a credit card and gone went into Dex. So miserable. I was like, maybe I can record bands. I bought this thing for $1,000. And told him about it. He's like, Well, you should record my band. And I was like, Yeah, well, you guys come over to my house, the one in the hood by

LeBron school. And I set up the time and this is like right before September 11th. This is like September 8th or something. And anyway we sat on my front porch waiting for the other two guys that were playing with him and they were only interested in playing with him if there was money involved. So they didn't come. They didn't show up. They didn't show up, and like, I hadn't. They didn't understand. So was this the, this is what led to the two of you? So we just recorded that.

Really? So Dan's like, you should just play the drums. From the recordings that we made that day, we got a record deal from him. No! We sent him. Why, old? That's crazy. Dan's like, we should form a band.

I mixed him down and gave him to him like, September 13th. These sound fucking cool. We should send these to some labels or something. Yeah. Isn't that what you do? Yeah, I mean, that's the thing is you don't even know, right? We didn't know.

We were two idiots in Akron. We picked a couple of labels that had some of the blues stuff that I really liked, but maybe also some rock and roll things. And the label that we sent to had like know had like Dr. Ross the Harmonica boss records and Stooges records. Oh they seemed really cool. And this is like you put something in like a FedEx package? Yeah CDR. Media mailer. With a handwritten letter. Basically saying we're ready to work. Yeah. Help us out.

Dan sent them out to like maybe 15 labels and we heard back from like maybe three. One of them is in Austin, Chicken Ranch. And I'm still buddies with the guy that runs it. Really? Yeah. So he was like, well, I'll put your record out. And then this label, Estrus,

like a punk label out of Bellingham, Washington, said like, if you come to Bellingham and play a show, we'll talk to you. And like, you know, that's out of the question, because it's like 3,000 mile drive. And then this label in Burbank said, if you send me 12 songs, you know, I'll put it out. And then they sent a contract that was like that long, that just the most bulletproof thing that we've ever signed.

We're still trying to get around it. Impenetrable. Yeah, that's how it started. And then, you know, we made this record in my basement and then send it off to the label and then the guy sent us back 50 LPs and 200 CDs. And we're like, okay, what, what do we do now? Yeah. And then the guy sent us back 50 LPs and 200 CDs. And we're like, okay, what do we do now? Yeah. And he's like, the guy, Patrick, who ran the label alive,

was like, you need to go on tour. And we're like, okay, what does that mean? He's like, well, I know this guy and he's gonna book you a tour. He's just gonna have to get in a van and go. So we got this email a couple weeks later, it was like, here are your dates. I still have this print.

I wanna get that framed. Yeah, it's kind of insane. But it's basically like, here's three weeks of shows. And you know, this was, it was just the name, the address, the phone number, and then the deal points, which is like two beers, $50, $50 guarantee. Yeah. 10% off the food.

Exactly like yeah, a sandwich but no surprise. Yeah. We did clubs like that where they were like, I did a club one time where he was like, you get 20% off like an entree. But not the steak or the lobster or anything good. Yeah, essentially that shit. And so then, you know, this was summer 2002. My brother tags along, my younger brother Michael,

and we get in my minivan and we just go. Neither one of us had a credit card. Oh my God. We were just really free balling out there. Starting a life of road beef. Road beef. Yeah. What's up? Start banging checks beef. Yeah. What's up?

Yeah, dawg. Start banging checks in vans. What's up, dude? Road beef. Yeah. I always felt bad for comics because, I mean, sorry, not for comics, for musicians, because Tom and I, we've been doing the road, too,

for like 15, 20 years, you know, as comics, and you go do those awful morning radio things at like 5 a.m. and I would always see like the bands just unloading like on their like they'd stumble out of a van hung over filthy and just like like dazed because they're like we were just in another city last night you know and they're like can we shower here and you're like wow that's even worse than a comedian because at least in the beginning of a comedy career, you're posted up in one city for like four or five nights

doing six shows. So we get to stay in a shitty hotel and you're not eating great, you're not living great, but at least you're in one place. Bands that seem so much more brutal because you're in a different city every night and you're not sleeping, you're not eating, you're not showering.

It's savage. For the first decade. It's savage for a few years. First decade. We couldn't afford to stay in the city we were playing if it was like a cool city. Oh my God. If we were like playing New York City. Like maybe in New York we would go and get a room with the Howard Johnsons on Houston.

But yeah, like we'd be in LA, play the show. Somehow always be the basement room. Yeah, yeah, we'd get the fuck out of there. We had this whole, yeah, we would just take, I would just take like the yellow jackets and just the trucker pills and just drive. That's what I could do. Yellow jackets.

He would just, I would always just fall asleep to the sound of Art Bell and the highway. He would just have Art Bell on him. Just like, uh. Yeah. Just gacked out driving. Yeah. Shruckers feed.

Dude, if I had done like six more months of that, dude, I would have just been completely insane. Yeah. I bet, yeah. Do you feel like it's kind of, like I know it's all you know now, and there's a few other people that have done this, but like, isn't's kind of like I know it's all you know now and there's you know, there's a few other people That have done this but like isn't it kind of a flex to feel like it's the two of you

When like bands are always, you know, four five six and more like the fact that you can do what you do with two It's like I think it's super impressive. Well, you know what when we first started the band Like that day where we made the demo Um our our neighborhood friend was hanging out with me. He's gonna help when we first started the band, like that day where we made the demo, our neighborhood friend was hanging out with me. He was in the help. This guy, Gabe. So initially, the band was three of us.

And Gabe played the Moog synthesizer. He was playing the bass on that. And that's what our demo kinda had. And then, within a few months, he stopped coming to practice. And I was like, and you know, he doesn't have a car. He was living with his parents. I was like, dude, like...

He was living with his parents, but his parents were a block away from him. Okay. I was like, dude, like, you gotta come to practice. Come on. He's like, dude, like, I have a astronomy test. I was like, dude, you've got to F in astronomy. Yeah.

Like, are you gonna be an astronomer? Dude, no. No, come on. And then eventually, like Dan and I were like, if we keep him in the band, like, it's gonna be horrible. Yeah. And we're like, okay. So we got rid of him and then.

Which was very easy to do. Very easy. Well yeah, you got another astronomy test. You gotta go. We parted ways, and then we tried to get a third person in, and we both realized that we were so serious about doing this that we understood each other, I think, enough that if we let a third person in,

it could just be complete fucking disaster. Yeah. But we were also in Hacker and there was like no music scene to play a show. We had to drive to Cleveland. You know, I mean, there's, we couldn't find anybody. You know, Gabe tells this story so much, right? Like all the time.

Who does it? Oh, okay. I still, I'm still boys with the Gabe. Talk to him like a couple times a year. You know how many bars this has come up in for him? Oh my God. When he's having a beer. This is his story.

And you come on and he's like, you know. No, I mean the older we get, the more grateful I am that it's just the two of us. I can't imagine being in a group, a big group of people trying to get stuff accomplished. When you see the five, six piece bands, you're like shit, or more? Yeah.

But you know, for a long time, it was very insular with us because we would go play these shows. We wouldn't have the money to hang around the club. We weren't really able to socialize with the other bands there. And so actually, that's something that's happened in the last couple of years where we've actually been

way more out there hanging out with other musicians, bringing them around. It's been really good for us. Fun too, right? And also we don't have to be in a band with them, we can just hang out with them. Yeah, that's nice. Because it does seem like over time,

in a bigger group, there's fights about money and who's the front guy, who who's popular who's not I guess That's what you hear it. It's got to be so hard, but it's just the two of you. So that's good Well, I feel like every bit every band always kind of Like the Gallagher brothers, which I know you friends with might I feel like every band Every band even if it's four people it always kind of reversed down to like two people. It's really about that. Yeah. But yeah, I mean, a couple weeks ago we were in town

and we went to the mothership, being in that green room and watching all the comics hang out, I was like, this is something that never happens with musicians. And it would be way cool if it did. The group hang? Yeah. That's so true.

It's so important. Cause you guys are more isolated and the musicians I've known are more introverted, definitely. Whereas we just sit around and abuse each other in a room. It's so much more fun. Well, we sit around and just make fun of the other band that's next door.

Oh, of course. Comedians too, we're united in the people we hate. Yeah. That's how your friends with the comic. It's like, who sucks? Yeah, that guy fucking sucks. United in the hates. Yeah, that's really what it is. Oh, for sure, yeah.

There's so much shit talking. So much shit talking. Elite level shit talking. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know, we haven't heard it too much. When we go, like, you know, we hang around comedians. No?

I'm always surprised, honestly. That they're not doing that. Yeah, I feel like maybe, maybe the new generation doesn't do it as much or something, I don't know. No, they do, they do. I hate, everybody hates comedians. Yeah, they all hate, everyone's haters, dude.

Yeah. Hate so hard. You know what's so funny, was it, we were talking about that, that comedians will stand ups anyway, or just mean. Like, we were talking about that, that comedians, well stand-ups anyway, are just mean. Like we have the ability. The difference between like an actor, a pure actor, right? And a comedian is that the comedian has a mean streak.

That the actor's more genuine, like sincere. Yeah, stand-ups are mean. And we were talking to a comedian friend of ours who's also an actor, he was saying he's on this movie set And he's like, you know, we're like, how's this person there? He's like, well, you know, he's really nice But it's like, you know, I was like this fucking guy and then he said I was like You can't you can't like joke around with a lot of them because they're all just such in like that headspace of like Why would you say that? He's like, oh nevermind.

Like, he couldn't joke around. But there are bands you guys hate and you guys talk shit about. For sure. For sure. We definitely used to talk a lot of shit back in the day. But like, you know. We couldn't do an interview without Pat talking shit about somebody.

I love that. Getting us in trouble. That's so cool. I always get us in trouble. So much fun. Let's do it right now. Yeah, who do we hate right now? Who sucks?

Fucking, fucking Lady Gaga. She sucks, right? Yeah. She's the worst, dude. You know, I had a couple. I used to use Twitter a lot. I'm scared of it. Oh, you would use Twitter to talk shit?

I had one really good tweet once. Here we go. It was just, it just was a, it just was a, moves like Jagger, period. Sounds like shit. That's the kind of stuff I was into. But now I don't do that anymore. But you, that right there, like that's the kind of stuff I was into, but now I don't do that anymore. But you see that right there, like that's the,

anyone who's an expert in a field, you can critique things through a different lens. It's like sometimes comedy will be celebrated or popular, and then comedians shit all over it, because they see kind of the holes in it. They see the tricks, you know, the dance moves we call them, of the holes in it. They see the tricks, you know, the dance moves we call them of like making that work.

But like there's like a very catchy, let's say pop song that like musically you're like, this is garbage. But a lot of people don't grasp that, right? They're just like, no, this is great. Well, I mean, a lot of the stuff that we like is probably very hard to listen to for most persons. Really? Me too. I like awful things nobody likes. Do you guys like, well I don't think they're awful, but do you guys like Bauhaus? I'm sure your major influence is Bauhaus.

I like certain bands from that scene, but I like Jesus of Mary Chain. Love Jesus of Mary Chain. But I don't listen to Bauhaus much. My favorite is that. I actually don't know one man that listens to Bauhaus. I know a lot of women that listen to Bauhaus. Our agent is, he's very musically inclined, is really good on piano,

and he has a really good ear for music. He also has a lot of, he's one of these music history guys like you're having dinner and a song comes on and he tells you all about the recording session and like he knows all these music stories and we're at a dinner and we're just going through it's like, oh this thing about, you know, Diana Ross and then Michael Jackson comes on, he's telling us Motown stories. And then all of a sudden he's like, I gotta tell you man, your wife, I don't know what that shit is that she listens to, man.

Like, he knows all that shit. He's like, her music, man, I don't know what the fuck that shit is. It's like. That's okay, they only invented a whole genre. A whole gothic genre. Shout out to Bauhaus. Whatever, I also drum too.

It's no big deal. Oh yeah, not so hot, now are ya? She's a fucking drummer too, right? If Bauhaus needs a drummer, Kevin Haskins, you're getting old, I'm here. Okay. I drum terribly, but. How long you been drumming? Just like a couple months now.

A couple months, wow. Three months. I got a kit in my playroom, no big deal. Well can I ask you this, would you mind? I think, I didn't know how to play drums when we made our first record. Really? Really, I honestly didn't even realize what the drums were supposed to do until I was about 28.

Really? Oh yeah. Well, that's a good point. Really? I swear to God. I didn't realize you were supposed to keep time. I thought I was just like, play along with the guitar. Just fuckin' beat the shit out of him.

I thought it was supposed to be steady. It's supposed to be steady. Steady, yeah. Right. I think because the music I'm listening to is not necessarily, like rap's steady, maybe, but a lot of the other stuff, it didn't feel steady. But I guess it was. Did you have an epiphany moment where you're like,

holy shit, you're supposed to keep time on these? I mean, when I'm on stage, I always have to have him in my eyesight, in my peripheral, to follow him. he'll you know, he moves it's time the time moves. Uh-huh, you know, hey Can I that's just part of the sound though? Can I get your take on would you mind throwing on those cans for a second? So I can know well just like your musicians. I was like, let's let's take advantage of this. So Here's a newer guy guy maybe give him a shot This is actually kind of stuff I like to listen to

Not for musical enjoyment this is like true outsider. Is this Bauhaus? Oh, how dare you. The kind of interesting choice is that he, songwriting wise, is just actually laying out the whole story. Like he said, you know, you said to me that you found another guy.

It's like R. Kelly. Yeah. Yeah. You know, so he's just, we were high school sweethearts. Sweethearts Right you texted me I mean it's just a story. You know how like they say like humans and chimpanzees are like 97%. This is like 97% Noah Cahan or whatever that big huge hit song is like stick season.

This is like almost there. Almost there yeah. But that's a huge hit and that guy's selling out arenas. Would you tell this guy if you had to get would you just be like keep doing what you're doing? I'd say just that river behind him jumping. You and I in the car laughing windows down with the music blasting Hey that rhymes doesn't Mean, you know just different style

Just different different time relaxed fit. Yeah, I want to see the stand-up version of this I want to see people just bombing. You got it. Come to mothership on a Sunday night. It's called Open Mic. Yeah, there's regular shows you can watch too. I know, there's a lot of it. You wanna see a bomb though? Oh yeah. Yeah. I wanna see it.

I've never seen the comedy version of that. It's a more, a stand-up bomb is more horrific than a music bomb, For sure, even live. Because even the fact that you could play an instrument, some other sound being there, can kind of mask how poorly it's going. In stand-up, when you're just like, yeah, and so then, and then it's just-

You can physically feel it. The sweat, yeah. The whole room, you can feel it. The anxiety. It's kind of suffocating. Yeah, the sweat, the flop sweat just starts. Yeah, I watched somebody flop last night. Oh really?

Yeah. Doing what, stand up or? Yes, I went to the Kill Tony show last night. Oh, one of the new. And then, yeah, it was a hat pole. It was brutal and Tony just eviscerated the guy. Yeah, of course. Which made it fun.

Imagine that for like 20, 30 minutes though. Oh my. Because that's a 20, 30 minutes though. Oh my god. Because that's a real bomb when you're up there and there is no ding, ding, ding, your minute is over. 20, 30 minutes, yeah. And you're getting paid and you're the opener and yeah, and you eat shit but then the headliner kills after you

and then you hear everybody talking about how awful you were on the way out and shit. It's brutal, it's brutal. I had a bomb so bad one time that like, I mean I ate shit and it was a sold out room. So it was like 300 people in there and I was just pouring sweat. And I had hair so it was like kind of stuck to like here.

And I got off a few minutes early and then I walked, I mean I was you know, like a deer in headlights. And I walk around the corner and the manager she goes what the fuck She goes I thought you're supposed to be funny. What was that? I didn't even I couldn't even say anything. I was like I don't know Just and the worst was that there was a second show because you know we do like two shows in nightclubs And I bombed as hard on the second show two shows in night clubs and I bombed as hard on the second show.

She's like, you're the worst. So when you say you bombed, was it because did you did you think you were being funny and the crowd just didn't get it? I mean, if you specifically this incident, I remember so well is that I was I was too new to open with the I was opening with like a what I thought was a very, you a very witty, edgy joke. And it just wasn't well-written enough, and it was too harsh. So it was opening with the hardest-hitting thing, and the audience was like, huh?

And then even though I would go back into material that I knew worked, it wouldn't work, because they were just so thrown. The momentum was off. It was just so off that, yeah, and I remember the next day, the only difference that I made, because I had to go back to that club the next day to do it again.

Oh my God. Was, my friend was like, just don't open on that. He's like, just don't open on that. And everything was great. It was fine. It was totally fine, yeah. But it was a real lesson in like, yeah, maybe not. Maybe not ready for that yet. Yeah, I remember

Doing what's called triple runs where you drive six hours a day in the Pacific Northwest and then you perform in bars at night I did a biker bar and at the time I was like trying to be real smart because I studied philosophy It was like first five minutes of philosophy jokes for the bikers. It was so and it was like first five minutes of philosophy jokes for the bikers. It was so, like I bombed so hard, Tommy. It was like 20. I did a 25 minute set in like 10 minutes and I was in the alleyway, you know, just crying.

You're like, fuck dude. I bombed at the hospital one time. Really? What? I went with a buddy. He had his upright bass and I had acoustic guitar and friend had a fiddle and we went and played for the people in the cancer ward And we were going room to room, you know, and there was we went into this guy was law just hooked up to all these wires

You know, he looked like the back of a stereo. It's just like wires everywhere and we played him a song and we're like Let's play this guy. Sir. You want us to play another one? He said I'm good Sir, you want us to play another one? He said, I'm good. Oh, I mean, to be fair, if I was sick as fuck and someone walked in with their acoustic guitar and I could do it, it's almost like what's it called? Sleep paralysis. It's a gentle lullaby form.

Yeah. No, thanks. I'd rather this end now. Yeah. I'm like, I'm so picky about music, too, that I hate like 99% of you know easily 99% of anything Like if you took everything on Spotify, I would hate 99 sure that Imagine someone not not knowing that and they're walking in and it's like I've selected the song for you And I know you're sick as fuck Yeah, there's no fun to watch you watch that You filled with rage as a disease

tears through your body. You're just like, leave the room. Well, there was this thing. He couldn't reach the button to get the nurse. Committing suicide. I think he's really relaxed right now. I did this thing for Vice News, right when they launched,

where I was their music critic for a month. And it was literally brand new like vice news. They didn't know they didn't really know what this whole Thing was gonna be. Yeah, I just ended up with me just on headphones. Just shit talk I liked a couple things but yeah, but is there anything you particularly enjoy right now that's been that's come out What's the music you like? I told you mine you tell me yours now.'s come out in the last couple? What's the weird music you like? I told you mine, you tell me yours now. Well, but I'm saying something new. New, yeah.

My stepdaughter's really into 100 gecks. I dig some of that. No, you know what? We've been doing these record hangs where we take, you know, kind of like playing old 45s. They throw in a dance party, essentially, but only playing 45s. And that's kind of led us the last year into like a deep listening,

like searching for these, searching for these 45s, trying to find songs that we'd never heard before. That are, I guess the goal is to find something that should have been a hit that's not a hit. Right. Yeah, that people hear and go crazy, but no one knows. Un-Googleable. Yeah.

You know what I mean? There's so many songs out there, it's crazy. So many songs. Every time you look, you find something. I think Brian Simpson was the one at the mothership that brought out the I'm Alive song. Oh my god. That we started playing so much,

but I had never heard before. I'd never heard that song. We hadn't heard it till last year. And our buddy Kelly Finnegan was like, have you heard this Johnny Thunder song? Yeah, how do we not, how do we not? How have we not heard that? How have we not heard that?

Yeah. It's the greatest song. It was such a great song. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, so that's kind of shit that we play at these record hangs. It's been really fun. It's such a great song. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's kind of shit that we play it at these record hangs It's been really fun. That's cool. You know, it's cool because we'll invite like a friend to come do it with us and then just you know Take photos of like half the records. Yeah, you'll buy them. That's cool. Yeah friendly competition friendly competition But it is like you're sharing like the secret like do you know this one? You know this one? Yeah

That's a fun thing to do yeah yeah um are you guys friends with the insane clown posse never met him oh well they were in here and we love to ask musicians this question there's only two of you in the band have you guys ever gone airtight i don't know what airtight means but i can imagine i mean you're you guys are close. How close have you been? I mean Pretty close I mean nice

You know, there's no air seeping out of her, you know, I mean wow, I thought that was called a tower of power Well, actually to be airtight Gabe would have to join the band no air seeping out of her, you know what I mean? Wow. I thought that was called a tower of power. Oh yeah. Well actually to be airtight, Gabe would have to join the band. Yeah. But, cause there's three inputs. But yeah, Eiffel tower her, I guess. Is that a yes?

Cause you guys are kind of weird about it. Oh shit it is. Oh that's, come on. Oh my God, it's the Navy. It wasn't a no, It wasn't a no! They've been in the Bay of Forever, they're rock stars. Of course they have. They're like, which city?

What are you talking about? Yeah, which time? Of course they've done that. Well, transitioning out of the airtight story. Do you, uh, Alright, I'll show you these clips. Will you just tell me your honest reaction to whether you think this is horrible or more hilarious Really hard to watch

She's okay. She's okay. Okay. Yeah, um that's uh, yeah, that's where I find that horrible. Okay. Yeah Agreed, okay You enjoyed that. Yeah, that was good. Yeah, that was good. That was a good one. Yeah. Okay. Okay.

He's drunk. God saves the drunks, right? Oh no. Oh! Jesus! This is horrible. Oh! Christ.

That scream was really gonna be great. It's too bad they cut it off. This is just starting to develop there. Yeah. This is like. That sucks. Dan and I were just talking last night about like, what sick fuck, if you could meet the sick fucker

that was making the faces of death compilation Yeah In the 80s who's responsible for that? I want that documentary And I want to thank them because we love that shit in high school And how did all the 14 and 15 year olds get a hold of those VHS? So nuts Dude the goth kids love those

Where did you find that pre-internet all those videos? I know That's gotta be a story And getting that tape around That was awesome I know what's gotta be a story and getting that tape around So crazy like for something that was on a tape for so many eyeballs to have seen it It's not like sending a video around today Have to understand distribution right they'd have to be a sick Maybe this could we could be talking about the singer from Bauhaus

We could be talking about the singer from Bauhaus. Maybe the one. It's Peter Murphy. He did Faces of Death. Peter Murphy might have done Faces of Death. Yeah. But yeah, where are they finding the fucking video? Right? And back in the day you had to like edit it, sit down.

We're working on that documentary. That's awesome. That's rad. I've never found a snuff film. What do you have? Is that a J? Do you want to light it? Yeah, can I?

Of course. This is your mom's house. We're not nerds in squares. Do you have something is that a J? Do you wanna light it? Yeah, can I? Of course, this is your mom's house. We're not nerds, we're squares. Do you have something to put it in? No. Help yourself. I'm such a fucking nerd. Not at all. Good, now we can finally party.

I made a record with Hank Jr. And he lit a cigar up in my studio and I said, wow, no one's ever smoked a cigar in my studio. He said, icons don't ask. Yeah, agreed. That's pretty rad. Dave Chappelle doesn't ask to smoke six-packs in the club either.

He doesn't goochy shades. Of course. Chappelle's so well known for this. They'll be like, you can't smoke in here. And he's just like, huh? And I was at something with him, and I was like, hey, can I get one of those? Lit it up, and the guy behind the bar was like, hey, you can't smoke in here. And I was like, hey, can I get one of those? I lit it up and the guy behind the bar was like,

hey, you can't smoke in here. And I was like, oh, okay. And then I just turned to Dave and I was like, I'm gonna put this out when you put it out. And he's like, I'll put it out when I'm done. And I go, okay, that's when I'll do it. But it was great. Wow, so fun.

It gave you strength, huh? Yeah, it totally did. I was like, you're doing it, so I'm doing it. In a lot of places you can smoke on stage. Oh, that's nice. It's like a prop. That's right. If you had been by yourself, they would have arrested you.

100%. Get the fuck out of here. I was like, he's doing it. He would have been tased. Yeah. How's Noel Gallagher? You guys work together? He's awesome. Yeah. I love his tip.

He's so funny. He's so funny. Both those guys are funny. He's not only funny, he's cool as shit. We just went to London and I sent him a text. He was like, you know, we're gonna be playing in London. If you have interest in doing a song with us. We were doing three nights at the same place.

He's like, sure, I'll come out. I'm like, which night? He's like, all three. I don't know. He said, I don't have shit to do. I'm like, we're also doing this TV show like the day before if you're really interested. He's like, which night? He's like, all three. I don't know. He said, I don't have shit to do. I'm like, we're also doing this TV show like the day before if you're really interested. He's like, yeah.

That's awesome. So he's basically spent a week working for free with us. That's amazing. That's cool. Well, here's this pin from today. This was, uh. The answers are, the world is a great place. It's just inhabited by, and it's the internet's fault.

It's the way it is. Right? True, where it's just inhabited by the internet's fault. Right, true, where it's never spoken. Those guys speak truth. We got to hang out with Liam last summer. We played a show together in Milan, and afterwards we were all staying in the same hotel, and it was one of those rare instances where We got the bro down with the other band. Yeah, and yeah, he was and also there is the third Gallagher brother there I don't know if you know about there's a third. I guys know about Paul Paul the older brother. No Paul was there Paul Paul was hanging and yeah, we hung for like four hours and

Yeah to this day like I get DMs from Paul all the time, like, hey, I see you're in Dublin. You need to go, if you want good Guinness, go here. That's so cool. Yeah, they're the best. Do you ever, and be honest, because we're all friends now, do you ever make business calls on the toilet? I never have.

I've sent texts. Yeah, texts of course. You've never done calls? Yeah. Yeah, now, when you're on the toilet and you're on a call, do you hit mute when you're not speaking and doing business? Of course.

Wow. It's normal. I don't do that. You're normal. This fucking lunatic. But I mean, I hit mute if I'm doing anything. Right. If I use the sink, if I. Yeah's normal. I don't do that. You're normal. So I can lunatic. But I mean I hit mute if I'm doing anything. Right. If I use the sink.

Yeah, exactly. If I do anything. You just mute so that no one can hear what you're doing. Yeah, especially if I'm fucking around. I don't like when people are fucking around with you. Well, he doesn't hit mute enough because he uses those earbuds. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Air buds. And sometimes his kids will come running into the kitchen and I'm like, dude, I can't hear you. Oh yeah. Now she pisses and shit. It actually sounds insane. It's just like, yeah. Like, Jesus Christ.

She's pissing. Flushing. That pee must be getting loud because it compresses. But here's the deal, man. So we called our merch guy, who I've been doing that to secretly. I've pooed and peed on the felon

during our hour long talks. He had no idea and Furthermore he was like yeah, but I would never think that cuz you're a lady Yeah, I feel like I get away. What is it about this guy that you were trying to lord over him like that? It's not him it's just I don't talk to many people on the phone he's happy he happens to be with one of the three or Four people I never fucking who talks on the phone. You know I'm He happens to be like one of the three or four people. I talked to you. I never fucking who talks on the phone. You know what I'm saying? Like it's text, it's voice notes. Everybody mutes. Everybody. I guess. Not me. I like I like him to know what's up. Dan's a big phone talker. You are?

Yeah. He's old school. Yeah. Pick up the phone. There's only I only talked about three people on the phone. My dad. Right. Dan. I only talked about three people in the film, my dad, Dan, and... Santa Claus. And Miss Cleo. Yeah. That makes sense. Drummers from what I hear are a little weird sort, no? Like slightly autistic, maybe a little...

So I don't know, are you type A? What's your thing? I think there's a lot of really funny drummers. Like Josh Friese. Do you know Josh? Why does that sound familiar? He plays with everybody. He's in Foo Fighters now.

Oh! He also plays with like... Is he a blonde dude? Yeah. He's hilarious. Yeah, I've seen that guy. He's an insane drummer, but he's also... Very funny. There's a lot of funny blonde dude? Yeah. He's hilarious. Yeah, I've seen that guy. He's an insane drummer, but he's also. Very funny.

There's a lot of funny drummers, I think. Well, there you go. Funny musicians, there's a lot of funny musicians, definitely, in general. I mean, Noel and Liam are both, they can make you pet your pants, I think. Yeah, they're so funny. I wonder if they can drum.

What's that? I wonder if they can play the drums. Oh, for sure. They hang out, when you hang out, do you hang out together with them? No. No. No, they won't hang out together. You don't know this about the Gallagher brothers.

Well, I do, that's what I was making the, I didn't know if this was the- Never. That's a good question. They're done. That'd be crazy if they hung out together all the time. So it's like, I didn't know if this incident was hanging out together. No. Does the older brother, Paul,

does he hang out with both of his brothers? I think he hangs out with Liam. Yeah. But, you know, we love all Gallagher brothers equally. Yeah. True story. Wow, okay. Do you know anybody that still eats their boogers? My son.

Yeah. Damn. Yeah. Actually, my two-year-old really, really is into that. Eating them. She's into also me eating, like putting them in my mouth. No. Actually my two year old really, really is into that. Eating them. She's into also me eating, like putting them in my mouth. No. That's crazy. Or transplant.

Y'all transplanting. Ugh. That's cool. Gnarly. Boker transplant. That's the only like human being on earth that you allow that with. Oh yeah.

It's like your kid. For sure. I know like the other day my boy was chewing sago and he's's like I hate this and he put it in my hand and I just Yeah, like that most people Yeah, I don't care about their dookie. I don't care about their I sit on they pee on the toilet seats constantly I just sit down on the sometimes I forget to wipe It's not like stinky old man pee. No, it's different.

It's not like his. Basically water. Whatever. I don't stink. Yeah, it is like water. I don't stink. Everything about you is stinky now. Your pee smells like coffee all the time.

Can your wives identify what you've eaten by your fart smells? I wonder. Speaking of this, I was talking to someone about squirting the other day. Yeah. I mean, there's one, couldn't you just prove what it is by just eating a bunch of asparagus?

Right. Wow. I hadn't really heard that floated out there. I still hear the back and forth. Prove it. Prove it. People adamant that it's pee, people adamant that it isn't pee. I'll just eat the asparagus.

Dude, this is such a good point. Wait 30 minutes and we'll find out. Or, bro, homie, even fucking better, beets. Bro, because when you eat beets, it gets righty, and then unless the color. I think the asparagus is better. Because it might affect the creation. It could be, there's sometimes, you know. It could affect other secretions. And then unless the color I think this variegated is better There's sometimes you know, let's try it your big time squirter

This guy is trying to get out of going to the war in Ukraine Ukraine Guess what no battle for him. He's done. It's over. Okay, I can't watch this shit, man My god, that was cool. Okay. Oh my god. That was cool Tom. Wow. That was really cool. That's what, I think, was it Greg Allman did that? Shot himself in the foot? Did he really? Did he get out of Vietnam?

I would. Or shot his brother in the foot or something like that. Really? Yeah. No shit. That's crazy bro. That is really crazy. I honestly like, that would be the person that you'd want to send over there.

Crazy motherfucker who shoots himself in the foot. You're right. True story. He shot himself in the foot, says right here. Like this guy would do anything. I would, dude I wouldn't wanna go to fucking Vietnam. Fuck them. I'd be out, dude I'd go live in like

Puerto Rico or Mexico or, I'm out homie. No my dad went down there and signed up, sent me over there. He volunteered for you. Really, yeah. Wow, what year was that? 68, something like that. So after the Tet Offensive, it was horrible,

and he went over. Oh yeah, yeah. Fucking loves Marine Corps. Right. Well loved. But yeah, he's thrilled, nothing better than Vietnam. Solid citizen. Really? Yeah, I mean he. But like, yeah, he's thrilled. Nothing better than the Vietnam. Solid citizen.

Really? Yeah. I mean, he loved getting out of there, but he fucking loved the Marine Corps. Yeah. Dude, we had so many friends whose dads had a real hard time over there. Like, I remember spending the night,

and I can't name names, but one buddy's house, and the dad was just always asleep on the couch all day, and I was like, man, the dad's always really tired. He had a canoe hanging up in the garage just filled with Budweiser. Well, that was a different person to his dad. There's more. There are a lot of, that was the other one. Oh yeah. There are a lot of the dads traumatized. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. One of the dads came over to my house. I had like a male babysitter one time and he like,

and my friend was over there and wouldn't leave and so the babysitter's like, get out of here. Hit him on the back of the head, you know. Get out of the house. The guy's dad came over, took my babysitter, pinned him up against the wall. Yeah. Dang.

Inside my house. Disemboweled him on the bayonet. Yeah. Yeah, I got crazier stories out of my dad. As, when I was a kid I would always ask, what was war like? He just wouldn't, you know, I wasn't I wasn't charged, I wasn't really like that. There's incredible first-person stories on YouTube that you were watching pretty heavy for.

About how crazy the war is. Just crazy ass stories. Once I got older, he started telling yes crazy ass stories. Yeah. Yeah once once he once I got older he started telling me More real stories, so I was like Holy shit. Yeah, very crazy stuff. Oh probably Throwing grenades into bunkers and my make is pulling people out of it and you're like what the fuck yeah But a lot of good comedians came out of having dads go to Vietnam

You know a lot of creative people were Emotionally unavailable he was kind of checked out. Yeah, yeah, yeah Emotionally checked out. Yeah, yeah missing an action Yeah, what do you think what's that? What's that's probably the thing I heard the most. What was his, what were some of his hobbies? Hobbies?

He was Olympic weightlifting, which he loved. And then he got into, I mean, he was golf, you know, going on runs. He was a news junkie. He was always reading news watching news He was like an intelligent articulate guy Chess he loved chess. He loved chess, but he Sounded like he had a good dad. No, he was a good dad. He was a great dad. He was a great dad and he also

He did that thing where I think because a lot of Vietnam vets You bring up Vietnam and they kind of like I don't want to talk about it And his thing was like, what do you want to know and he would just tell you in detail everything But I think that's how the trauma man like he was still traumatized It just manifested differently through him for him. It was by Talking that I think and and by almost giving off the idea that he wasn't deeply traumatized mm-hmm and then over time you're like oh you're deeply traumatized by this oh it's just it's shaped you differently it affects

people differently you know oh for sure like his brother my uncle he flew 600 missions in Vietnam. So he bombed 600 times. And like, but he's not an open book about, he doesn't enjoy conversations, you know? It's just different with him. So how many years was he over there? My uncle? Yeah. I don't know.

I mean, he was a career Air Force guy. So he was there a long time, flew a lot. My dad was in action over there a long time, flew a lot. My dad was in action over there for like six, nine months. But he was in the Marine Corps for longer. Right. Yeah. Did he get injured over there?

No. No, he didn't get injured. He was a lieutenant, so he had a platoon of like 70 men. But yeah, I think what really actually fucked him up the most was losing men I mean like that's the thing that stuck with him seeing people right next to you die. Oh, man Oh, yeah, yeah, my dad. Oh, he's retired now but he was a he worked for the Akron Beacon journal as a writer and The last couple years before he retired he was the one that would cover all the

Any soldier that was killed from Northeast Ohio. So he'd just like go into a funeral, like, you know. You know, I guess every couple of weeks, it's just. It's gotta beat you down. I think it really was hard for him, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's, I mean, to be around that

just has to be so sad. Oh man. Yeah, I Had a bunch of friends that um Like literally five six friends that joined the National Guard when we were like 18 1998 so that they could get GI bill. Mm-hmm and uh all of them had to go to Iraq no There's like I think it was like a six-year had to go to Iraq. No. Fuck. That sucks, dude. I think it was like a six year thing, reserves,

and it was like they're all just about to be done. And they all was like, pssh. I can't think, I mean, there's no, none of us probably go like, oh, that'd be a war that I'd like to be a part of. There's no war where you're like, I'd like to be involved in that. It just all sounds horrible.

Yeah, I mean, no. Yeah, especially in our lifetime, I'm saying. You know, like for some reason, like, you know, you look back on how World War II played out. It's just a different. Yeah, that's true. You're like, what are we fighting for right now? Like, what are we doing?

But yeah, World War II is weird because like everybody's grandfather was in world war II. Yeah. Yeah. My dad really felt like good and evil kind of right sides. Yeah. Well, not real knucklehead. My grandfather, um, was also, yeah, he was an officer. He has a PhD, uh, in organic chemistry, He has a PhD in organic chemistry, but his role in World War II was in the army, he was at Fort Bragg,

and he was put in charge of trying to build a Japanese pill box so they could figure out how to blow it up. So he was given like this part of land to build this like structure and a bunch of dynamite and it was just solid bedrock. He said he spent a granite or something. He said he spent like, you know, three months

and it had only gotten down like four feet. It was supposed to go down like 40 feet. So he kept asking for a different part of Earth to fuck with and he said he spent the whole war just blasting a hole that never, it was really insane. It sounds kind of fun. It's crazy. Blow a shit up though, right?

Well I just feel like that type of, maybe like, I don't know, insane task. Yeah. Like, yeah, maybe there's a lot of that in the military. Yeah. Definitely. Well, for people that want to see you guys, are we gonna be hitting the road?

We were supposed to be this fall, and that we had a whole tour that was actually doing really well. But our manager told us to cancel it because they had a better idea. Managers often do? And then there was no other idea. Oh, that's cool. So we don't have a tour and we don't have a manager.

Oh, great. Because we parted ways with them yesterday. Smart. Oh, congratulations. So this is a hot scoop don't have a manager. Oh, we've had ways with them yesterday So this is a hot scoop while we were here. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. You heard it here first. Oh, yeah, we are We're free balling like he's looking for management But congrats on the new album, thank you so much What stream and purchase and get it anywhere you can, anywhere music is available. Yeah, Napster.

But we will for sure be putting dates up. We'll be on tour. We're gonna do some stuff this fall. We're gonna try to, you know, we just did this tour of Europe where we did like, we're doing like 5,000 seat rooms, multiple nights. And it's like the first time we were playing indoors that wasn't like an arena and it was just infinitely more fun. That's awesome. So I

think we're gonna try to do some of some of that this fall and more of that 2025 and do some festivals and yeah and we've been throwing these record hangs we'll be doing those throughout the fall. We'll have you come through Austin. We'd love to come. Oh yeah we will for sure. Thank you guys for coming in. Thank you guys so much. You guys are awesome. Thanks guys. Thanks. place. Baby American I'm gonna call a reporter. How do you get a job here? You don't wanna call in? Yeah, I take cops badges all the time. Do you know who you're talking to? An entire double agent there. You're fucking a retard.

You're fucking a retard. You're fucking a retard. You just lost your life, okay? As far as your job goes. You're threatening your life, as far as your job goes. I told you to teach me a job. Job, bitch! That's not what you said after. Well, we've changed it to job, because you've taken it out of context there.

What's your name, anyways? Job, bitch! Job, bitch! Job, bitch. See these wires? You just got your job there, buddy. It's a baby-raper on your face, close, okay? That's how they retard. You didn't follow Proto, buddy, you're done. Catching my camera through the fence, you faggot.

That's how they retard. You fucking retard. Catch my camera, do the tricks, you a faggot Talk to God, let me turn Get fuckin' retarded How do you get a job here, you fuckface? Talk to God, let me turn