Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - Words You Can't Rap w/ Eso of Czarface | Your Mom's House Ep. 733

Episode Date: November 8, 2023

Hey Jeans it’s another episode of YMH with Todd and Christine! This week, Tom Segura and Christina P discuss upcoming holiday plans and how gross turkey is. They dive into the "origin of hate" and why Christina's forklift certified dad did not care for the nomads of Eastern Europe. We keep it proto and talk morning routines and what the son of a Buc-ee's co-founder has been doing in bathrooms. We also get a major DENTAL UPDATE!Rapper Eso of the hip hop group Czarface joins the Main Mommies to discuss his album Czarmageddon, his collaborator Inspectah Deck, big words you can't say on stage, rhyming from the pocket, scary dogs , some “Horrible or Hilarious” clips, plus Christina shares a story about an encounter with a Texas man who hunted down a hit and run driver for her!https://tomsegura.com/tourhttps://christinaponline.com/tour-dateshttps://store.ymhstudios.com/https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast

This week on your mom's house. I thought you were actually saying that as a description for two women that you thought were on track You mean real dogs. I wait. I don't know. It's talking overrated. No one wants to hear us anyway Hey, men sister. It sounds like you're just hitting home runs today. You're like I should try to fuck a Korean chick. Yeah I was thinking my life club Welcome, welcome to your mom's house. And we're back. Welcome to another episode of your mom's house. We're getting ready for the horror days. The horror days. Thanksgiving.

Fightsgiving giving love. I have to take my family to visit my family of origin in Florida and just mentally preparing for a few weeks from now. I know. It's such a, it's first of all, even just getting the children packed for a trip like that.

I mean, that in and of itself, not that you've ever done that, but I'm saying like it's really a hassle I'm a guy, okay? Oh, I know yeah if you want to help you marry a chick. No now But I'm more concerned with is I like my anti Thanksgiving food. Thanks. Givings We my favorite thing but now we have to when you go to someone else's place You're just at their mercy. You're actually at what they, yeah.

But just see, if the listeners are new to us, just know that we are very anti-fightsgiving. Okay. We don't like dry, pussy, turkey, it tastes like shit. I think getting together with people's great, but I like throwing rib eyes and lobsters on it and being like, yeah, this is what I wanted to eat. That's how you celebrate God's bounty.

Yeah, I don't want fucking cranberry sauce or whatever. I know, like, why didn't the settlers have lobster and steak? Yeah, why didn't they have cows? They had to have stuffing in Turkey, what if you don't want that? Yeah, I do like the stuffing. I like chauffeurs, the box hind, the white trash kind. The high level one.

Yeah, I like the shittiest of the shittiest. And by the way, people do this, they say this the same shit about like camping. You know, when you go like, I don't, they're like, well, you need to go camp fuck you. I don't want your mom's turkey or anyone's turkey. Turkey's gross. You know what? You know what? You know what part of Turkey I like?

What? The dark meat because it's a little juicier. It is. It's better. The tig meat is just dry. Same thing with like on a chicken though. If you get a chicken, you get like a juicie part. It's a juicie part. You want like, yeah, a little darker.

Yeah, turkey's disgusting. Yeah. Any hoodels on pumped for a, I would then wear at the mercy of our hosts. You're right. But, but, you know, they're pretty good in Florida with the cooking. No, they're pretty good.

No, we'll have good food, but you know, it reminds me of what we did one time. We can't say too much because we don't want all the details to be, but we had, we went to an event. What's family? What's family? No, I hate to give him a different, but we went to an event with family. With a family. No, he's giving was different, but we went to an event

with family where they fed us and all of us were like, this food sucks. And so from that event, while we were at the event, I got on the phone and made reservations at a restaurant. And I told people, I was like, don't tell anybody. And then we all left the event with family and went out to eat. And that was the best Thanksgiving ever. Yeah. And then that was good. You had what you wanted. Finally, pizza, spaghetti, chicken fingers. Yeah. But hate

giving is back when we were living in Silver Lake. Before we had kids, it was comedians, right? All our comic friends, our orphans friends. And then I invited my dad and he showed up two hours late, right, because he had a date to go to. Right, right, right. Didn't my sibling, wasn't she at that? Maria was there. That was the origin. Origin of hate.

Yeah. What was she upset about? Puerto Ricans or something? I don't know. I think at the time she was upset with the Puerto Ricans. She was working with them. Yeah. Hahaha.

Hahaha. time she was upset with the Puerto Rican. She was working with them. Yeah. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha What is that too? But my dad also has obscure hatreds. He really hates gypsies. I would say that gypsies are the top of his hate groups. Not to, I don't wanna say too much, but I'm kind of understanding of your father's feelings on that one. Well, because you've been to Hungary, and you've been to Europe. And I've been to Europe, yeah.

So the gypsies are like, and I've had a roach problem in the house before. So yeah, I know exactly how he feels. But for money Americans, because we don't really have gypsies here, gypsies are like the red necks of Europe, but they're way worse, because they, they steal, they squat. You can't sell your property if they squat on your property. There's laws to protect these, these parasites too.

It's fucking insane. This is so weird. I'm surprised the Hungarians are as tolerant of gypsies as they are. Your dad has a funny thing too, because your dad used to own a forklift business. Right. So, like, you know, it's a very specialized thing. Something most people probably don't think about. But then when you're in the business of needing one, there's only so many places you can

go, so people would go to your dad's business and be like, I need a forklift, right? For sure. Propane or electric, you got them both. They got them both. Palo and Jack like, I need a forklift, right? For sure, propane or electric, got them both. They got them both. Paladjax, you name it. He told us one time. He was like, I think he was like, yeah, if an adiperson calls or stops in,

and they go, how much for this one? He goes, it's already sold. And they're like, what about this one? He's like, that one's sold too. He's like, yeah, I just don't do basis with them. He even said it even worse. He goes, when I pick up the phone and I hear the accent, I just say, nobody here, I don't even vote.

I want to buy something, this is sold. I don't even vote. I was like, well, why? But what if they are, he's like, nah, they want to hustle and do the price thing. They want to haggle because it's a cultural thing. It's a cultural thing, yeah. And he's like, my mom does it at Bloomingdale's.

Yeah. She's like, how much for this? What if I give you, like, this is a fucking retail store. Yeah, you can't Hagel. Same with forklifts. Like, it's pretty non-negotiable. A forklift? Well, I guess probably people are thinking,

you know, a mechanical thing, almost like a car, right? They go cars 30, you go, if I get 28 and they're probably approaching it the same way and your dad's like, you know. No, well, there's a lit like you said, it's a limited resource. There's not a ton of them that and my dad's forklifts were really good, well working and he worked on them. Well, you know, speaking of race, why don't you hit this opening clip and get into the show. Let's get into it. Yeah. Why not train and blast how to act? You're saying right now is illegal.

Rather than putting the responsibility on the owner of the company. No, that's what you just said is illegal. Why is that? You cannot train the blacks. That's not you have, if if you are offering training you have to train everyone you can't make assignments by race like that. He's fucking amazing. Jesus. Yeah, mom.

Mom, I'm sicker. Go, any go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, Yeah, yeah He's my new favorite media personality of all time. Of course. It feels like a character, it reminds me, like Stephen Colbert used to do a character on Comedy Central, like a purposely ignorant, kind of, you know, super right wing guy. But the audience is in on the fact that it's a character, and it feels like it's like the greatest troll job ever,

except this is a 100% authentic. fact that it's a character and this feels like it's like the greatest troll job ever, except this is 100% authentic. Right. He really is this old school. It's, I would say old school was not quite. I mean, 1800s in my life. I mean, old century. Old century.

Yeah. Yeah. This is Victorian. But like, I love like, you know, sometimes he says things and people remain calm, but you can tell they're like, oh my God, but she right away was like, you can't fucking do that. It's like, it lists it's such great emotions from people. But that's the fun part of this.

It's not even like, because imagine, yeah, it's him getting people to be fired. Wow, yeah, like so right here, he's like, let's just train the blacks and then she's like, you cannot do that. You can't just hire people. You can't hire people because of their race, because of their gender.

No, I'm not talking about the company training them. Why don't you want to switch your role rather than put in that responsibility on the company, why not train them, but that's how to work, how to act at work? Look at her. That is, that is an absurd notion. Only why is hard to train him. He's fucking he.

Another thing is he's never left. You know, the funny when you have this real perspective, he's never left speechless. He always has the last comment. Yeah. Right? Because he's so he's so grounded in what he thinks. Yeah. That when people present a very logical response, he always has a follow-up thing to it. And they're there, the ones who are like, I don't even know how to fucking... Right, like, well, okay, so I wish she would answer like, well, we can't just take aside the black people.

Right, well, yeah, I mean, because, you know, she can separate them by like that. Because she's speaking, she's saying the truth, which is that is an absurd notion. And then he just goes, Why, because it's hard to train him? Like, he always has the follow up. It's so great.

I mean, it never... But the premise, yeah, okay. And I'm gonna get into his life. So if a woman's here to man, she'll need to smack her back? No. Why not? Because she's the girl.

She doesn't know that. But I just think that's unfair. So if a woman's smack a man, what should you do? He probably deserved it, to be honest. What? I don't think the guy should ever hit the girl. Really? Not even to protect himself against it.

No, what is he protecting? He's a human being just as she is. Right. And they should know one should treat each other that way. Yeah, violence is never the answer. Right. That's what I think. Have you ever smacked a guy? And they know once you treat each other that way. Yeah, violence is never the answer. That's what I think. Have you ever smacked the guy?

Oh, I like. Oh, yeah, I can do that. I have to ask. You have. Whenever somebody goes, oh, that's a nice answer. It's a yes. It's a hard yes. You got to look up at them.

I got to tell you something. I've never smacked a man. I've never smacked a man because I know like they can hit you per heart. They can kill you. You know, man kill women. You learn some things growing up. Yeah, like don't do that.

Yeah. There's people who find out the hard way. No way. It's because they're her daddy never hit her. That's why. It's true. Because when your dad fucking hits you, you're like, oh no. Oh man, her man can do that. Yeah. Their way. What really? It's true. Because when your dad fucking hits you, you're like, oh no.

Oh man, or man can do that. Yeah, they're way. My dad, I gotta say what happened. The one time my dad fucking, man. I was 15 years old. I just come home from Lala Paloza the day before and I had done two hits of acid on my first time ever. And I'm talking, I'm young.

Like, I was wearing fucking retainers. I was wearing a goth velvet dress. Like I was little to be doing. I was wearing a Goth Velvet dress. Like I was little to be doing LSD and I came home so fucking tweaked out of my brain. I was up all night just like staring at the ceiling. My parent, my mother was just like, what is happening? And that's the day she sent me to go live with my dad

because they're like, she's on drugs, she's messed up. This is, we need, you know, dad's got to straighten you out. And in the car ride home, I was like, Christina's on drugs, she's messed up. This is, we need, you know, dad's got to straighten you out. And then the car right home, I was like, you know, fuck you, fuck you, piece of shit, you're the worst dad at it. Like I was malts, sassin' off and callin' them a jiggle or whatever the fuck I was callin' them. And we parked in the garage and he just fuckin' bam! Backhanded me right in the mouth.

Cause I was talkin' some shit like, I even blocked out with the fuck I said to him, that's how traumatic. Yeah. But that's when I was like, oh no. Oh yeah, like I even bought that with the fuck I said to him. That's how traumatic. Yeah. But that's when I was like, oh no. Oh yeah, like that's, that's real. You got quiet real quick. That's why I learned this bitch has never been back to her dad when she was 15 after doing

LSD at the law of pollution. Yeah. That's what you need to do. I mean, I get smacked a few times. That's what I'm saying. Shut the fuck up. In a way you're actually giving some pretty sound advice for yourself. Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

Yeah. Sometimes you need to get clocked. You know, you're actually giving some pretty sound advice. Yeah, that's what I was saying. Yeah. Sometimes you need to get clocked. Well, I do think you need to learn the boundaries of reality. You do. And as a boy, as a boy, you learn it, I think, earlier. Yeah. Because you're surrounded by boys, right?

Yes. So you're always in this thing where you're in school and you have like little, even if you don't get in a full-out fight, you have like tussles, right? Like, you like, like, kind of like, almost fights. And you, and then also in sports, you know, you get like thrown by somebody and you're like, oh, like, your brain kind of registers like, oh, there's people that are bigger and stronger than you. Like a fuck you up. Like a fuck you up. But girls, because we don't relate to one another physically, where we're emotional tortures, I'll get inside your head now, fuck you up. Yeah.

And so, you know what I mean? Like, I'll fuck with you emotionally. Right, right. I'll devastate your heart. That's what women do. Exactly, yeah. But they don't, women, she's never had physical altercations.

She doesn't know. She doesn't know. Witness many more fights. Yeah, you guys are great. You guys kill each other. Yeah, but I mean, you see a guy mouth off and get fucking dealt with. And then your brain also goes,

Oh, don't forget that can happen, you know? Like that happens throughout your life. It's wild. Yeah. It's wild. And then there's still dudes who still test it. Like sometimes you're like, you're testing this boundary right now.

Like in public or in bars or something. All the time, yeah, yeah. All the time to see it all the time. You're like, fuck and beat, dude. Sometimes you'll see something really crazy. Like a stuff. Yeah, yeah. All the time to see it all the time. Okay, fucking beat, dude. Sometimes you'll see something really crazy, like a really small week, dude. Usually alcohol's involved. Yeah.

Going up to somebody much bigger and stronger and you're like, just do as about to have this whole life we arranged. Yeah. And you'll see it, you'll see it. And sometimes the restraint is with the bigger guy. I'll be like, you know, like pat on that head. That's really nice one, yeah. For sure. Back off, stop. And then, you know, it's like patting on the head. That's really nice when they, yeah, for sure.

Back off, stop, and then sometimes the guy, it's like, no, I feel like killing you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I kind of think it is important to tell women, like, hey, you don't know how a dude's gonna react. Like, you think it's cute to say it.

Yeah, it's crazy. Yeah, like, you can't do that. Some people also come up in that chaos of like, for sure. Very combative and like provoking. You said that word the wrong way, but that's quality. Right, right, right.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fucking 46 years of my life, I said it that way. I know. The real lesson here, I think for women, is just like shut the fuck up. Yeah. Seriously.

No one to keep your stupid mouth shut. I wait, I don't know. Talking's overrated. No one wants to hear us anyway. You know what I mean? Hey, men's sister. It sounds like you're just fucking hitting home runs today. I'm into it. So why don't you? Yeah. This guy's amazing, by the way. The Jesse? Yeah. Yeah, Jesse Lee Peterson, he's just so, he is so old school. Like, he hasn't even budged an inch in the last 100 years. No, no, no.

He's literally 1800's values. Oh shit. You have a dental update. Guys, you've never heard this song in so long. Yeah. Cause I have an update. Here it is. I'm wearing my retainer.

Have you publicly disclosed this? I've mentioned it I just haven't done like long long pieces about it, but you know, but do they know why you're wearing adult I mentioned why I mentioned you talked about it here We'll just reiterate because I think this is this is probably the dental update of the entire series So this is the craziest thing that's ever happened. It's really crazy. In 2007, you were like, hey man, you're snoring. It's fucking killing me.

Like I can't do this. I just sleep in the living group. Yeah, and I was, and then one time you actually played a recording of it for me, and I was like, oh my God, like I really was thrown by that. So I ordered over, oh my god, I really was thrown by that. So I ordered over the on television, they had like a commercial for stop snoring,

where this mouthguard. So I ordered it, I started wearing it right away. And within like a year, I was at a dentist, I mentioned he was like, what's going on? And I was like, oh, by the way, I also, I wear one of these. And they go, you know, we make custom ones, like that's what, it's a very common practice.

And it keeps your teeth from grinding and it also prevents snoring. But the way that it prevents snoring, people snore for different reasons. Sometimes people snore nasally. Sometimes people tongue falls back. I think that's the one. It's telling me.

In their throat, but like the, one of the most common one is that a lower jaw opens, right? You're unconscious, you're asleep, and it obstructs the passageway. So therefore air that's passing through, you hear the snoring, right? Because the passageway is obstructed. And so also we'd like 50, 60 pounds more, so face meat pushes on throat meat, throat meat closes your air passage. So, this is the fatso's horsey. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I mean, if you see like a 300 pound die for surey snores, you know. So anyway, I had a custom one made, which is nice, but you know, they're made of plastic and then every few years, you're like, it looks terrible, you get a new one. So I was just, this became my regular routine year after year. Since 07? Yeah, since 07. And by the way, I would go to the same dog, hey, can I get a new one?

Sure. And they're expensive. They're like $500, $600 or something. Sure. It became my comfort. Not only did it reduce snoring, which was obviously gonna help you from hearing it, but you also, when you're not snoring you're sleeping deeper

Because you're waking up all the time. Yeah, you're waking up when that's happening and you're not having as deep asleep So I would feel more rested and that sometimes you know if I forgot it at home I mean, I would have you like hey overnight me this thing because it was my security blanket so Think about that, like 2007, all the way into like 2021, 22. And all this time, I'm going to, then no one's saying shit, we move here. I'm seeing this dentist for the first time.

I've just met her, we just moved here. Does a cleaning, oh yeah, you know, your gums look great. And then she just casually throws out, is your bite always been like this? And I'm like, what do you mean? She's like, you know, your bite, is it always been like this?

I'm like, what's wrong with my bite? She's like, you know how like your teeth kind of meet in the middle? I'm like, no, but I have a, Oh my God. I have a slight over bite. And she's like, no. Yeah, and I'm like, wait, what? Oh my God, I have a slight overbite. And she was like, you did. No, yeah.

And I'm like, wait, what? Oh my God, it's terrible. The quick summary is, I wore that thing every night for like 15 years or whatever. And I gave orthodontics, I did orthodontics to myself. I moved my lower jaw forward because the apparatus,

you created an underbar. Hold your lower jaw up. I made apparatus, you created an underbar. Hold your lower jaw up. I made my jaw move and my teeth move. Oh great. So that's a great warning for anybody that's using this device. What's crazy is unless you have like a dentist,

like the one here who clearly along this path would have said something to me, they're just keep selling you the thing. And so now she's like, yeah, she's like, I can't fix it. So she sent me to an orthodont, I've never been to an orthodontist. I've never had any like aesthetic stuff done to my teeth. Yeah, so long.

And then he was just like, oh yeah, we have to move you. And then he told me he's like, hey, we're seeing this more. Like people are coming in with this more. So I've been wearing nash. Cool adult braces now. It's all braces so that my jaw and teeth can move back to the position they were wearing. And is it working? Yes, it is.

Because I go for follow-ups and they measure in like millimeters, but it's working. Thank God. Yeah. Because that show would just keep going and pretty soon to be like a bulldog. Hey guys. You want to hear a pretty joke? Yeah. Hey, me, Mithgrid. Yes. That's a wild dude. That's pretty well. Yeah. Amy, Muthgrid.

Yes. That's a wild dude. That's pretty well. What's your dental update? Well, I just wanted to report, it's been a year and a half since I've been for a cleaning. And I like to apologize for absolutely nothing. Because I dominated that shit. Oh god. All around bitch.

No fucking cavities. And she was like, wow, you take really good care of your teeth. And I go, yeah, because I floss. And I do electric tooth brushing. And she was like, there's not even, there wasn't even a drop of blood, babe. Yeah, yeah. It's awesome.

It was so good. Cool. And I was like, can I have a lollipop or something? Because I got a nae plus. Yeah. And she's like, we don't give adults lollipops. And I was like, that I have a lollipop or something? Cause I got a new plus. Yeah. And she's like, we don't give adults lollipops. And I was like, that's fucking bullshit. I'm not.

They give the kids. I'll get this girl there. But they did give me a water canteen with like the dental practice. Where's a balloon? You couldn't get a balloon? Yeah, I was like, I don't want a fucking canteen. I'm just going to throw this and lose it anyway.

Yeah. Yeah. But I was pretty stoked. I got to where I listened to a pop. I listened to Jay Mealin and Rob Eilor. Not today, pal. I all the whole time. Yeah.

It was great. Yeah, it was so fun. It was a good time. That's, well, that's great. Then I'll update. I mean, I'm pumped, dude. Yeah, you feel proud. But I've fucked me up because like,

I have a whole morning protocol that I do. Yeah, what's your protocol? Well, that's the thing. I was never really cognizant of it until it was interrupted today and it really fucked and pissed me off. It really pisses me off. There's a certain series of events I have to do.

What are they? So that my fucking sanity is maintained. Okay, number one, I wake up peacefully. Not your kids screaming, nobody violently waking me up. It's nice to wake up peacefully. And then within five seconds awake, you know, I have to have coffee. Yeah, you're like you're a genius. I can put it off for a while. No, I need to drink coffee immediately. And then I need to be in a quiet meditative state. Okay, and by that, I mean, I look at TikTok. I see what's up. See what's up. I see what's up in the world.

Catch up on the news. Catch up on the news on DicToc, because that's where everything happens. And then I must, and I mean, must take a shit before the day can progress. If I don't take a shit, it's like everything is off. Interesting. And this morning, I felt rushed, and I didn't take a shit. And that fuck with me the whole time.

That does bother me. That's why travel days are kind of the worst. The worst thing about travel day is when your shitting gets interrupted. Well, you know something? I wake up extra early on a travel day. Even if I get picked up at 5 a.m., I wake up 4 or 15 so I can drink coffee, shit,

and then go. So I'm not shitting in the airport. Yeah, I like my protocol is that. Yeah, what is your protocol? Well, I don't like to be rushed. So for me, I do like a slow wake up. So I do the things. If I need to be somewhere eight, I'm going to get up like 636, like you know, I'm saying here in town where it's not far, I'm going to get up

hour and a half before so that I don't want to feel like, oh my got to go around the door. I hate that. Like to sit around a little bit, take my time to wake up. I don't want to feel like, oh my God, I got around the door. I hate that feeling. I like to sit around a little bit, take my time to wake up. I don't have to have coffee right away. I can wait on coffee a little while, but I just like to like, yeah, I like to slow wake up.

That to me sets me straight for the day. And you know what's funny is that it took me years to realize that about you? Because I shoot out of bed in a panic. Like what's happening? What am I? I gotta take care of somebody, like I'm already on it.

And you're like, you're like a cute little sleepy bear. And you like to stretch and just kind of chill. And I'm like, this lumbering bear. You just take your fucking time. I'm always amazed at how relaxed you can be. So relaxed. So relaxed. I do.

I like to wake up like that. I don't like a rush of a wake up. I don't like it either, but. like a rush of a wake up. I don't like it either, but- It's kind of like my most important thing. Then I like to, you know, kind of ease my way into some sunlight, you know, daylight. But you do coffee and then you have to shit too like me or you're like, you're okay, you know.

I like it to happen within the next 45 minutes. A lot of times I do wake up, like I said, gradual, some sunlight, and then coffee breakfast and then. Coffee, okay, I can't eat breakfast unless I've shit. Ah, interesting. A lot of times breakfast is what sends me into their shit. Right.

Yeah. Because what you'll do is make like runny eggs, and it'll only 23 years to learn that. No, but that can be a problem. But no, like today I just had yogurt. I just had a yogurt. And does that make you brown? Yeah, I had yogurt and a little coffee and then I went.

Yeah. Yeah, it's because I'm totally inflexible. It's almost an OCD with me. I must brown before the day gets started. Fascinating. I cannot go into anything else. Yeah. Before you do anything else, the top of the home page, click the top of the home page. That's pretty cool. I think you'll enjoy this. The son of a co-founder of the nationally

renowned buckies, can be a store. Hey, buck is my favorite. Famous here in Texas. Was arrested Tuesday in Travis County faces 28 separate state jail felony charges of invasive visual recordings. Mitchell Wasick, 28 was released one hour after being arrested on a $10,000 bond per charge for a total of 280,000 in the condition he not contact the complaints, complainants according to Travis County jail records. A woman reported to she and a few friends were visiting the lake house with Mitchell Wasek, one friend who works cyber security for the Department of Defense, noticed a charging port

with a hidden camera plugged into the wall of their bathroom. The group of friends left with the camera and on its microcard found dozens of videos of themselves and other people in bathrooms and bedrooms at the Lake House as well as at Mitchell Wasics Dallas apartment. They were unaware that the recordings existed in the bathroom and the bedroom and indicated they did not consent to being recorded or photographed. According to the affidavit, a warrant was obtained to review the contents. On the camera and found 68 movie files

containing at least 13 male and female individuals being recorded using toilets, showering, changing clothes, and or having sex. The cool guys. Oh my god. Additionally, the affidavit says the videos were found to have been recorded in multiple different locations dating back to 2021, which included a downtown Austin condo

of the Cation Home and Tell Your Right Colorado, both owned by his parents according to property records, Amazon records, also linked purchases of spy cameras to Mitchell Wessock. I gotta say, I totally get it. I think it's probably a fun thing to get involved in, although it sounds like it's against the law. We hear it's a deal, man.

I agree. I think what's fun is watching people bang or change, but the poo poo pee pee part, I'm out. I'm out. I'm out. I'm out. I'm out. I'm out.

I'm out. I'm out. I'm out. I'm out. I'm out. I'm out. I'm out. I'm out.

I'm out. I'm out. I'm out. I'm out. I'm out. I'm out. I'm out. I'm out. Browning doesn't turn me on either. Although the idea of just watching somebody brown to see how they do it does entertain me. I mean, I would like to see that. I just don't, it doesn't arouse me, you know. You're telling me that just out of curiosity, you would, for instance, want to see Josh Zolo Browning. Yeah.

Just like how does he sit, what is he looking at? Sure. Is he really? See what comes out. Yeah, see how it looks. You want to see the actual brown in the bowl. Yeah, what are we talking about here? Just the same.

Oh, because you can't see brown in the bowl with the spy camera, can you? So nobody can see me. Oh, yeah, maybe they're up top and then he's looking at how much you make. That's so fucked up. Yeah, I'm so disgusting. I think he's a cool guy.

It's so gross. Yes. I will say that this hotel I stayed at, had a mirror in front of the toilet. Yeah, that's a weird choice. And I was like, I'm watching myself. Brown, yeah. It's revolting.

I look terrible sitting in the mirror. I don't like seeing myself brown. No, the times that I accidentally, like the kids have opened the door and they're like, oh, I've been like, this is the most emasculating pose. I don't like it at all. I don't want to see you browning, believe it or not, I'll talk about it all day long. Yeah.

Seeing it. You know what else is super emasculating? What? I heard somebody in the shower. So I turned around and it was him. The one who was cousin out. I could feel him from the back. It is from like, oh, can't do. The one who's cousin out. I can see him from the back. It is from like...

I can't do it. All right. Shit. It was probably like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was happening. It was like,

it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was see the phone go up. I lost it, shit. What?

I looked at the window and she made shit with nobody else coming in and take a shower. I said, fucking shit, shit. I said, I'm, you look back at me and I look at it real meaning like, right? You know real serious look, right? Yeah. I said shit, fuck it. I went over all the eight. They said yes.

I was thinking I'd get some eggs. He said, you don't mess around with it. I said, fuck off. Can I get out? I'm telling you what, you tell me now. I'm going to whoop your goddamn ass. You better not tell nobody shit. That was my first time coming,

and it was in a man's ass for a... Hmm. Ha ha ha ha. That's what you wanna show me? I don't know how for what this guy's fucking... Well, he's telling a story, I like stories. Apparently, yeah. Um, about when he was in the shower, I like stories. Apparently, yeah.

About when he was in the shower, I believe, when he was locked up and he saw this guy's, this guy's showering across, you know, the shower stall and that he was mesmerized by the guy's ass and then he went over there. Thanks, Tom. This is a cool story. It was terrible. It's not over. I don't know. That's like you're is a cool story. It was terrible.

I don't know. I don't know. I need, you know, I need no one to felt like it. It says she is good. You know, I never had no Coming to the child man got you know what I'm saying. I give it a little baby. I'm giving it mom a baby. Oh, fuck me. I'm giving this mom a baby. This guy's so happy. He's like, you're right. He loves this story. Rick Ross is laughing.

He's like, you love this story. Well, he just says he's going to give him a baby. You know, that's how good it felt. I understand. Yeah. I got that bit. He doesn't know how it works though. Yeah.

You can't just come into someone's house and make a baby. No, it's not where the baby's made. I understand. You can't know how it works though. Yeah. You can't just come in to someone's ass and make a baby. No, it's not where the baby's made. I understand. You can't make a baby. Anyway, I thought that was a fun story to share. Thanks, Tom. You're welcome.

Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. It ain't even within a man's face. It's still going. I don't want to leave.

Ha. All right. Well, why don't we take a quick break? I like, I wanna die. I hate it. Just like, it's like this old toothless guy and he's telling me that he butt fucked a guy. I think the first time he came in a guy's ass.

And I don't wanna know, like I don't wanna hear it. And you're loving it. I just, I can't understand. Sometimes you and I, listen, sometimes you and I are like, Fij and Caramel, bro, peanut butter and chocolate. And then some days, what Sometimes you and I listen, sometimes you and I are like Fudge and Caramel, bro peanut butter and chocolate and then some days what makes you laugh is like it's been my kryptonite like you can't do it. Yeah. I love my first 10.

Curly. Yeah. I'm gonna fucking puke on myself. I feel sick. I feel sick. He feels good. He's got like no teeth and stuff. Yeah, I don't even know if the other guy

consented to it, you know. Oh my God, we need to even get into that. There's no, something tells me there's not much of a choice in this situation, you know. It feels consensual to me. He did, he told the story as can I get some, which is asking for permission? He doesn't seem to type to, he's not really.

Oh, sorry, is he in there for, why, what, is he guys know something about now? He's known as the booty warrior. Oh, this guy? You know this guy? Yeah. What do you mean he's known as the booty? He's known to have snatched a bunch of booties

and when he was locked up. You guys are fucking with me. Am I? How do you guys know that? He's kind of well documented. Well, where? Well, I mean, there's a reason he's doing interviews. This isn't just like, you know me.

Well, he's like a famous guy. How come I don't know about him? He's on a TikTok. I don't know him. He's still famous. CNN did a profile of him a couple of weeks ago. Well, shit. Yeah.

Did Hoda interview him? Yeah. Once you're on Hoda, you're legit. Subscribe to gay. Why don't you read that right there? Can you read it? A-Y. Please.

Can you read it? Please Johnson, infamously known as the booty warrior, due to reportedly fucking and sexually assaulting over 157 people while in prison was released last year and is now speaking out about his 44 years behind bars. Jesus Christ. 44 fucking years. Yeah, he got locked up when I was born.

That's amazing. Yeah. Well poor guy, what did he do to get into prison? Is what I'm wondering. Originally sentenced to 10 years for armed robbery in 1979 in Kentucky State Penitentiary Johnson would later be sentenced to an additional 18 years in 1987 on charges of wanton and dangerment and first degree assault. And then in Kentucky law is engaging in conduct that creates a substantial danger of serious

physical injury or death to another person. And October 1990, he was charged with assault on a corrections officer four times, which added an additional 20 years to his sentence. From 1981 to 2013, he was up for parole 13 times after serving a minimum of 20 to 50% of his sentence. However, they were denied due to his sexual crimes on inmates and officers. Well, and wow, he's a monster, fleece. Holy fuck, dude. Okay, he was on the show Lock Up, where are the convict code

and known as the booty warrior. The show intended for kids to make positive choices and avoid incarceration. We should show this to our sons immediately. And this prison booty was more important than food Johnson said on the MSNBC show. Fuck, booty amans, but. more important than food Johnson said on the MSNBC show. Fuck. Booty, a man's butt.

But, oh yeah, they can't say butt, that's stupid. It's on gay magazine. It was more important than on serious booty having some booty was more important than drinking water. Man, when I see one and he looks good to me, when I go see him I say, hey you, come here. I say, I'm gonna tell you what I like you, and I want you, we can do this the easy way

or the hard way so the choice is yours. And it was always a yes. And it was in a man's ass. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. It was always a yes. I tell you he says it like that. It was always a yes. I didn't force myself on nobody.

Dude, any fucked officers, this guy, when he doesn't look aggressive to me, he seems a little skinny guy. Yeah, I think maybe it's a little different when you're locked up, I don't know. Shit. I mean, it's more like a baby. Yeah.

Well, that was a fun story to kind of wrap up the first half here. Why don't we take a break? Great prison. Just thanks, Tom. Being assholes. I got gum. I got gum.

I feel sad. I'm gonna go cry. We'll be right back. And we are super excited to welcome to the studio. Don't forget that the new album drops December 1st. You've got artificial intelligence. It's SO of ZARFACE, everybody. Ooh!

Oh, look at that. You guys are the coolest. You are the coolest. You're the coolest. Look, have cool artwork, your songs are about cool shit. Even the albums are just are like instrumental. I love you guys so much. Oh, thank you.

Thank you. And you're just the best. We did a music video with you. Yes, yes. I mean, that's why you got to be part of ZARFACE lore. Like this. You were the ZaraFace universe. Yeah, for sure. And somehow I tumbled into the YMH universe

from such a blessing. Still remember, I still remember the day when I woke up and you know, you just like, straggling around and then at some point you open your phone. Yeah. And I see all these mentions. I'm like, what the fuck is this?

Everyone's like, oh shit, oh shit, you gotta mention, you gotta mention on the New Zara face out. I'm like, wait, what? And I start like, I'm immediately like run through, and it's, I mean, it is like, honestly, it's one of the coolest things that's ever happened to me. The shadow, I'm serious, I'm Bizarro. Thank you, yeah.

And I was like, this is what, that really felt to me, like you know, everyone has these things, like I've made it. For me, I was like, oh, I fucking like this is what that really felt to me like you know everyone has these things like I've made it for me I was like oh I fucking this is really is a cool thing that ever happened to me and then to make that even cooler You guys were like hey, can we shoot? Music video with you guys and so for people who haven't seen her don't know you can just go on YouTube Yeah, and look up Zara phase Bizarro and It's a fucking rad music video. They were so good.

Oh yeah, Mike Pesci, yeah, you're delivered. You may, yeah, you guys, I mean, have been holding a sound sense and that means it's tons, it was fucking awesome. You should have been in the video, Christina, but you know, he said no. Really? Yeah, he put the kindai boss on the whole thing.

I was like, kind of, I didn't tell him I gum out. And I was gonna put it under this. Just throw it across the room. You know that trick like when you're at a restaurant, like if you like frozen butter packs. Yeah. And it's too cold so you slide it under your thigh to warm it up and nobody can do that.

I don't do that. I never done that. What restaurant, so you're eating it? The eating show is so good. Well, this place is chateau. Wait, that's such a good idea. Yeah, you take that. I never done that. What restaurants are you eating at? The eating restaurants. Well, this place is chateau. Wait, that's such a good idea. Yeah, you take that butter pack, you put it under your thigh, and you just continue to

calm the conversation. No one else knows, and they're all kind of like chiseling away through that cold butter. Yeah. But you want something warm, so you use that thigh weight, and it makes it, you know, as though they microwave it for you, it's nice. Yeah, perfect. How long do you count? Yeah, how long does it take? I usually, when I'm listening to someone speak, I'm usually counting to a hundred in my head.

And I hold that a lot of it. It's part of your autism, right? Yeah. Yeah. And I put it out and I spread it and people are like, how does that? Just like. And you go, oh, you got one of the cold ones?

Anyway. Yeah, it's humanly. Exactly. Exactly. That's a trick. So, you get that out to the university, it grows, my wife's disgusted by it. So yeah, oh this is real That helps. Oh, it's real. It's not a it's not a yeah, that's pretty rap. That's a really good one It's like the opposite of a Kajoski effect. It's a cool S.O. effect

Yeah, that's what we need to come up with our S.O. effects now Oh, you have like hacks for sure. Yeah, I hate the word hacks. Okay, so I think S.O. effects You also hate the word routine. I remember when we hated that restaurant, I said, I said routine. I was, you know, calling back to one of your bits. And I might have said routine twice. And then you leaned over the table.

I was like, it's bit. It's a bit. It's a bit. And I felt this small. And I was like, it is a bit. It's like a bit. It's like a, sorry about it. You rhymes, you's fucking bit. It's like your rhymes, your rap words. It's like rap versus hip hop, man.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, but yeah, I got- How many albums by the way for Zaraface now? Oh, I probably around eight. Yeah. Are you kind of amazed that it- What I'm amazed about mostly when I think about it is that Inspector Deck has more rhymes on Wu Tang albums. I mean on the deck has more rhymes on Wu Tang albums.

I mean on Zarae's albums, then on Wu Tang albums. Really? I don't know, because we got like 10 albums. Or 8 to 10 now, I forget. But I've never actually counted it, but you know, Dex not on every Wu Tang. Of course, when he is, he's killing it, but he's not on every Wu Tang track.

So if you did the math, I just think about it sometimes. But do you ever stop and think about the fact that like, you basically, I'm saying as a whole mate, like what you've built, like what you've made, you know, this is what you wanted to do with your life and career. And now you're at whatever eight albums with, yeah.

Inspect the deck, like as you're, you know, your co, your guy, right, like you're a group. So you and George you George obviously but like But it's fucking crazy, right? It is crazy when I sit back and think about it But I feel like we're always moving forward. Yeah, and so I don't take that time to really reflect on how insane it is Yeah, if we're doing Zarfay shows we end the sets with Wu Tang show So I'm like doing triumph with deck and I'm doing a cream with deck and just I don't deserve that but I'm here and I just But it's on the other hand as my my buddies say to me like you're the only guy like who

My buddy's john says you're the only guy that's employed and Unemployed at the same time because because I just kind of have a lot of free time Oh, right because I you know, we were talking about it off the mic, is if you're an entertainer or performer, you don't really have a set schedule unless you're on the road. So I can do a lot of goofy shit. Right, and you have your goofy shit you like to do. I always comic books.

You give your comic book place. Why is comic books gotta be goofy shit? It's a little, he's into VR. I don't know, that's goofy is that right? Oh yeah, no, I like, I'm into VR and I've heard you drag comic book shit, I've heard, you know? I've heard you, Mystic Rick, I heard all this shit, you know, I just, I absorb it

and it just makes me stronger. Yeah, it thickens my skin. Are you a big WWE guy? WWE, WWE, F-era, WCWA, W. You get all of it? A little bit of the air. I mean, I told you, you should really go into it. I mean, I don't understand what you're waiting for.

You're not gonna get hurt. Well, actually, I was about to do, I don't wanna give a, I was about to do something with one of the big wrestling organizations. Okay. This is like a couple of years ago. Yeah. And the person who was most excited to do it,

with like the guy who reached out, who's a wrestler. Yeah. He got hurt and it kind of all, I got to delayed everything and then it's just, you know, things kind of evolved take off from there. Yeah. By the way, when you're doing triumph and you're doing cream with deck

and you're supposed to hit an end word, do you just lean into it, you go hard, what do you do? You know, it's funny, a lot of decks versus don't have any swears in them. It really? Yeah. But sometimes you'll drop that word and, and you know, I'm like, this is, if there's ever a time I have free reign to do it.

Yeah. It's on stage with him. Yeah. And it's like a power up, but I don't. Do you have to pick another word though? Um, what I do is, uh, I just hold the mic and I'm like, and I don't say it. Oh, yeah. And I let the mic cover my mouth so you can't see whether I'm saying it or not.

Oh, that's what I can't be held in a court of law for a few other times. Crazy. But yeah, but I'm like, ah, you know, I'm standing next to Dak and it's like, I mean, it's kind of fascinating that you're performing in a medium where the whole thing is say words and you're supposed to say these written words,

but then there's a magic word. And you have to dance around it, even though that's part of what you're supposed to be saying. Right, and it gets said quite frequently too. Well, it says, you know, comes up a lot in songs, you know? It's sometimes, yeah. The first time that I admit, uh,

and now I do comedy, like, we don't have to say that one. One of my favorite stories is hindered by that actual situation. Well, it's just, the first time Deck introduced me to Ghostface, I said, this guy's not gonna know who I am, you know what I mean? And I was kind of nervous meeting him and Ghost got up and he's like, yo, is that Spider-Man? And he dropped the word. And it was the greatest I've ever felt.

And your life. Because I was pitching a beat to him over, you know, the internet's we in Met, but I had a beat where I was sampling Spider-Man and Ghost was going to use it. And it was going to be this, you know, this thing it never worked out. But he identified me as that. You know, I'd love to tell that story, but I can't ever finish it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, appropriately. I talked to him twice on the phone. Oh, he's exactly like he is on the records.

And it was pretty fucking awesome. Yeah. Yeah. I couldn't believe that it was happening. Yeah, and I was like, okay, I'll call you back sometime. Oh, that's great. Yeah, great. You should have gone here, man.

Oh, it'd be great. When we spoke, he was telling me about the cows eat differently in Europe and the gallop, like horses. Because they're in a different diet. Yeah, that's true. I'm not going to argue with them. No, I was like, I was like, I invented Europe a few times myself and I was like, I don't know. They seem to be standing just like they are Nebraska or you and they call you and you're like, I was in the UK. I'm not Belgian. That's where they run. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I guess I don't contest anything. He says for sure, I'm Belgian, that's where they run. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I guess. I don't contest anything he says. For sure.

I'm like, yeah, no doubt. No doubt. So, it's, but it's a blessing to even be able to. You know, you know what you have to do, right? You have to take that knowledge. And at some point, just kind of drop it into a song, you know, like I'm running like the cows in Europe. Like that kind of thing.

That's right. That has to be a lyric. Yeah, you know what? You're running like the cows in Europe. Like that kind of thing. That has to be a lyric. Yeah, you know what? You're running like the cows in Europe. You know what I mean? Ghosts know what's up. Yeah, yeah. And people be like, wait, what happened?

Yeah, I like that. I like that. But Rangel, Europe, gosh, that's a big deal. Ray Sparks Dutch. Cause probably trivial. Yeah. Like little bits of like knowledge that you pick up from conversations,

those find their way in the song sometimes, right? Like absolutely. Catch me at your mom's house. What up to you pick up from conversations. Those find their way into songs sometimes, right? Absolutely. Catch me at your mom's house. What up, Tom? Yeah, here we are. Here we are. Yeah, I think sometimes even mistakes in songs tend to stand out.

If you're, I was talking to Danny Brown about it. If you say a rap and you like the take you have, but you mispronounce the word, sometimes you leave it in. Right. And that's the thing the fans remember about it. And it gives it some type of silence. A thousand percent, you know what I mean? Yeah, mispronounce a word. Sometimes you leave it in. Right. And that's the thing the fans remember about it. And it gives it some type of style. So that's true.

So that's true. Yeah, mispronouncing things. Also sometimes you like go back and you're like, that doesn't really rhyme. Like something doesn't rhyme. But that makes that lyric stand out. Yes. The fact that they were like, almost forcing a rhyme or just accepted that something,

but kept it in. Yeah. Definitely. You know, the imperfections are the best. Imperfection it definitely is. Do you have the perfections or the best imperfection? Yes, the imperfections are the perfections in a way. Yeah, yeah. It happens and stand up a lot too, like where you, well, you'll forget something

or you'll stammer through something and you'll say something almost by accident and then that gets a huge laugh. Yeah. And you're like, oh, like the, my ignorance in this part, or my mistake leads to the laugh. Yeah, yeah.

Oh, that's very cool. And then you try to reproduce it, but maybe it doesn't. Sometimes you can like take a new position, you're like, oh, I'm gonna play Dumber. Like the funnier thing is to be Dumber in this situation. So I'll embrace that. But sometimes, yeah, sometimes you try to embrace the way you made a mistake

and then that can't be duplicated sometimes. Yeah, like, interesting. Like, Dunkin' Trust the last night, actually thank you guys for getting me into the company most I appreciate that. He had said he was the, talking about somebody, he said, identified him as a master of history

in the crowd laughter asses off and then he found the word he was looking for, which was historian, but then he kept going back and everyone kept popping for it And I was like is this part of a bit bit What's up with that place red ashes that's still open it burned down the irony of being called red out Yeah, I was thinking they're they're not like completely like it's gonna be reopened Okay, I looked it up And it's a temporarily closed. Yeah, let me get to the bottom of this literally burn out places So good. I was gonna take it. Yeah, I was gonna take you guys out there tonight. But forget it

We gorged our I mean, I just see you know, there's other restaurants there. Yeah, so sweet green you guys like sweet Fucking the guys like the one place that you have here is closed Sweet green, you said. It's ridiculous, you're just gonna end it there. So stupid. You pick it, whatever. Thank you. I've heard your records now, so it's different.

Oh, shit. Back at the fairmont now, you know? Okay. Get that real advance. Do you know what's if I always have some of your lines in my head, fuck all that, I'm against all that. Sometimes you know, you just have, you're in my head a lot.

Something that simple is a freestyle that I would keep. Oh. You know, like recording it, like I'm not, I didn't write that down. Oh. Those are the things that we're talking about. Normally I would think, oh, fuck all that, I'm against all that. It's too easy, but then it comes out and it sticks with people. Yeah, because

that's how you speak. Yeah. And that's always what's going to resonate with people. Wow, it's amazing. And that's literally, yeah, seeing that was deck at the end of that track. And he kept saying it and they were like, oh, let's keep that in. And that resonated with you guys. Yeah. So now love when it comes to Like new and and in the moment slang do the do rappers and black people have a newsletter Tells them here's what the kids are saying. How do you keep up with all the kids slang? I think Twitter now, right? Twitter Whatever it's a new TikTok new TikTok, yeah. Twitter's asking you. You've lived, honestly, as somebody who your job is to be a wordsmith, do you, can you like mark in your head when certain,

you're like, oh, this expression is a thing now. You know what I mean? It feels like anyone can look back through life, but I feel like you would have a better perspective on it, because your job is words, you know? Yeah, definitely, but there's a, I think there's a time and place for certain words where, you know, if I say something's cap, it doesn't,

it might not sound as authentic because that's a word my son would say. Oh, he just turned 15. And I don't really hear it come out of his mouth, but it'll come out on a text or something. That's interesting. So, because, so your thing is that, if like kids are saying it and then I say it, then I sound like a guy trying to be a kid. So because so your thing is that if like kids are saying it

and then I say it, then I sound like a guy trying to be a kid. Yeah. I think so. Yeah. I think so. So does that mean you stick, you try to stick to the either slang that you grew up with or just that you're hearing other adults say? Um,

no, I think just slang that's in my, it depends on who you hang out with. Like if I go on tour with with a group of kids that are like 19, I'll probably come back saying something different. Right, right. I tour a lot with Vinnie Pass from Jada, my entry school. So I pick up a lot of Philly slang and then bring it back to Boston throughout the year. He's incredible.

Oh, he's great. He's one of the most gifted people I know. But when you say something like, I can't think of a good example, but for me It's like you know fuck five oh fuck you know, but now it's like fuck 12. So 12 is the new five oh 12 What is new but it probably with the past you always know do you always know the origin though? I know you don't know they pop up in records, but like you know a gun people talk about their pole now It's the pole

This is a stick so you get the newsletter from the black eyes. But stick, the stick used to be a Jimmy, and the Jimmy is a dick. Oh yeah, well yeah, it's a joke. So wait, a poll is now a gun. And a 12, the 12 is a- 12 is five oh cops. I know, but is it the 12 or just 12?

I think it's just 12. And why is it 12? You know something, I'm ashamed to tell you that I don't know. You know that person here, and you know why'm ashamed to tell you that I don't know. You know that person here. And do you know why it's 12? No, I don't remember. I don't know. Did you know Paul too?

I don't remember. I heard Paul, yeah. You know, I'm a little sick. But see, you're saying it like it's second nature because you're younger than I am. For me, it's the gap. Oh, 10s 12. Right, 10s 12, that's a police code.

Right, so I haven't heard that code because I'm a family man. So you had two kids and a wife. It's a West Coast, but you heard one time before, right? Oh, of course, one time Gaffled him up. I know, right? Do you know the origin of that? My origin of that is from MCMW. But why it said, you know what I said?

I imagine it's, do you? Yeah. Oh, break it down. So the reason one time became slang, is that- Don't get me in trouble. No, no, no, no. The reason one time became slang is that if you're in a car and you see police, you can look at them one time

before you elicit a reaction from them that would make them suspicious. In other words, there's a cop over here and you can look once, looking once is okay. That's why they call it the one time. But if you look more than once, then they're like, why is that person keep looking over here?

You're eliciting the suspicion by keep looking at them. So you get the newsletter too. Well, that's, I got it. I got the book about the newsletter. I read the book. Okay. But I thought that was a really fascinating one. Yeah, it is. And that the book about the newsletter. I read the book. Okay. But I thought that was a really fascinating one. Yeah, it is.

And that makes a lot of sense. It's what I would have guessed. But you articulated it far better than I could. That's what it is. Yeah, it's one time. Well, you know, there's a lot of documented history of, you know, cops not really being that. No, there's not.

A way of being like that. Blue lives matter. Oh fuck. Anyway. You know what I'm saying? So once I, I mean, you don't get a lot of chances to try. That's why. Yeah, yeah. And yeah, yeah.

That's kinda. The 12, the 1012 thing makes sense. Yeah, 5.0 comes from Hawaii, 5.0 the show. Yep, yeah. Is that right? Yeah. God damn. Are you guys fucking with me?

No. Oh, come on, you know that. I didn't know that. That's how it entered the Mexican, yeah. Is that right? Yeah, yeah, damn are you this fucking with me? No, oh come on. You know that I don't know that That's how it entered the lexicon. Yeah, oh shit. Yeah Well, let's see if let's see how you're what your rap ears think of this wraps I love you baby Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, God struck by lightning you can even see These people won't even leave me be I had a goddess The name was Penelope bars Okay, so lyrically maybe he can grow but I mean he has the right kind of cadence right and really it's kind of like a

I think the Patriots play that for touchdowns now, when it's like a new Gary Glitter. I got you, celebration or goal song. Yeah. Or it's like what's a wolf of Wall Street where he's, oh yeah, all right. Right, in the kind of head with that. But it's packaged into a kind of like a jug

of low presentation. And you know had it with that. But it's packaged into a kind of like a jug a little presentation. And you know, he looks good. Did you get your filler you need to hear more? I just, I don't know. Hey, you know, I think I've had my fill, but if you guys want more, I can, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm yet to brown. I could go outside.

I know. Not outside, but, you know. Now, you know that, Nadav left. Yeah. He's doing his own thing now. Yeah. Uh, we have, here's him on his first, uh,

a patreon upload. Okay. They're trying to play with the chip, but they didn't know I was a Jew. Try to play me like a bitch, but I made my thing go, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, that water like I'm see What do you think fire?

Fire Cool, I you know, I think there's When I came up and making hip hop and listening to hip hop originally There were so many rules. I felt like there were so many rules just by listening to the music growing up in it and I think I became a prisoner of my own type of gatekeeping in a way. You know what I mean? For a long time I was like, no, you can't do this, you can't do that.

You know, you can't say routine, you have to say bitch like that, you know. Over some of the kids. He's so upset with me. I'm out of my mind. He's so upset. He's so upset. I'm trying to save you. We can't eat our comedians and go, you're standing between.

Absolutely. You know what? You can't get thrown out of the club, right Tom? You can't say that to Duncan. And I consider myself a fishinato. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, it's one of my fake, oh, thank you. No, you're, well, my fishinato judgment on this guy's fire.

Yeah, he's dope. Wow. But wait, what were some of the cans like you said, you started, because that's interesting. Um, well, I don't think this would be considered dope But wait, what were some of the kints? Like the you said, you started, because that's interesting. Well, I don't think this would be considered dope. When, you know what I mean, this is something that might get you thrown off the stage back in the 90s.

You know what I'm saying? But now, I think there's an audience for any type of hip hop. I think it speaks to the fact, and I think this goes for comedy as well, is that when something gets so big and so popular, that the genre actually has no boundaries anymore, and meaning that, and also because of the way that technology works, that everyone can upload, you know, either their songs or their routines, and they put them up, and you

just get, no, you just like, here's the thing. What's really good will always get the attention of the masses, something that's like really good. And then there's everything in between, and some people, there's somebody who was like, I love this, you know what I mean? This is my shit right here. But I mean, I get what you're saying,

cause in comedy, it's like, it had like, these are the boundaries of comedy. And now then they became like, anti-comedy. And you know what I mean? Like, the anti-joke and there's really some verse of stuff and there's super-alts stuff and there's countries and there's, there's songs that are like, it's just,

it's massive. It speaks to the fact that in hip-hop, I always remind like when I talk to somebody who loves hip-hop today, I'm like, you know, when I was like in middle school, you would go to a record store and it said rap, and it was like 12 albums. That was it.

It was like Rundi MC, Queen Latifa, Eric B. Rahim, you know, EPMD, like Ice Cube, and then that was it. That was it. That was all that was available. And then now the genre is so, so massive that there's just endless amounts of it. Oh, back then, I mean, you could count to every artist. You could. You know what I mean? And then now the genre is so, so massive that there's just endless amounts of it.

Back then, I mean, you could count to every artist. You could. You know what I mean? And now, there's a space for everything. And there's an audience for everything. And there are kids that have grown up listening to things like this that are entertained by it. Did you do the thing or did you have the temptation when you started to do really like x-rated songs, you know, that feels like a young man. I know, Sam. I've gotten deep in your vaults before, because I just could I just pour it out.

There's like pre-wife and kids, SO, and 7L, and then there's a clear deletiation. It's like, let's go to the cemetery and fuck some cars. You didn't get in fucking hell that. It's like let's go to the cemetery and fuck some horrors. You didn't get in fucking hell that. That was fun. You know something? That's funny. I'm gonna blame seven L for that, because he's the one that put that on the record. Yeah, that's a hit on that record.

Yeah, I like it. Yeah, but yeah, so my wife writes my rhymes for me now. So everything is there. But I mean, every young guy, right, Like you're 18, like let's write a rhyme. Like if you're like starting out, it's like every once thing is like fuck shit, you know, like wild stuff, right? Definitely, definitely.

I mean, you know, I came up listening to a lot of ghetto boys too short, you know, and when I was listening to EPMD and public, you know, a lot of East Coast stuff too, but I've just done and killed a bit. Right. Yeah. So, yeah, that stuff would work its way in.

And as you get older, you wonder, like, if you're connecting with the right, I don't know. Audience? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. If you're really representing who you are, and it kind of changes your lyrical trajectory. Sure.

Yeah. You know what I mean? So that's just like a part of evolving. I think so. Yeah. Plus, it's easy to rhyme. Dick with tit and all that shit, you know. Yeah. Yo, you just did it right now. Dick and tit and all that shit. Yeah. plus it's easy to rhyme. Dick with tit and yeah, all that shit, sure, you know, yeah You just there right now dick and tit. Yeah, it doesn't even technically rhyme, but it does it's like it doesn't But it does the slant rhyme. Yeah, it's always that that family of tit clit dick, you know, it's about that you got all those little

Nip yep, or nipple. So do you just have a thosaurus in your head that works like that? Where you're like I think so have to know where to go. I think there's a lot of, I think a lot of my, my mute of the rhymes that I come with start with the actual rhyme schemes themselves. And then I'll, I'll come up with a story around it. Like I think, I say again, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, what the beat is first? Yeah, yeah. No, no, you have an idea of the rhyme scheme, like the different rhymes, things that rhyme, like, okay, okay. Shane Gillis, paying killers, something,

and then you come up with something like that. Like, you know, sock and Ezra, Thompson Gur, yeah, that type of shit, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then you're like, okay, so how do I make this into a story? If you're doing Braggadocio wraps,

if you're not coming from telling a story, a vulnerable story, that's different, then you're trying to tell the story and find the rhyming words, but if you're coming up with a punchline type of song, that we grew up with. My shit is nice. That's a whole lane of hip hop.

My shit is nice. Yeah. Nice that wife. I take her home quicker than Matt Rife. Yeah, you're going that type of thing. You know, like that quick, like reference, slide it in there and that's cool. I have a hip hop question for you.

Yeah, this is something I've thought a lot about. I realize I haven't been able to really ask somebody. It's certainly not a professional about their opinion on this. Okay. So that when hip hop started, it's very easy to, because things obviously become more complicated as they evolve.

It was very easy to imitate the early day rappers. It was very much like ABC, one, two, three, you know? That's how it started. And I was trying to think of who were like the first people that it became, wow, almost difficult, in some cases, almost impossible to imitate. Yeah. And I was like, you know, I think there's definitely

some rhyme schemes that Trech came up with that I was like, that's actually complicated. Did you duplicate? Yeah. And then like the one that stands out, there's, you could say E40 on some things for sure too. That's not an easy thing to imitate. Yeah.

But then that bus arrives, took the, and ran with it of like as far as like, okay, that's not just something you can just repeat easily. Right, right. How do you think, or does that line up for you? Yeah, um, Pippo um Little uh, no, I know I'm kidding with Pippo. Yeah, you guys the dog word is like I'm I'm bombing at a show

No, no, I'm just asking if you agree with that sentiment. I expected you guys to fall down We just don't know if you're being serious. because I don't know like, what if you would have to respect some element? Also, people speak Spanish. That's hard for a lot of people. That's right. A minor flex there. Major flex. My heart flex. Nice. The world of tongue roll too. No, I would say

rock him kind of. Yeah. When rock him came out, that changed everything. You know, before that, I think Meli Mel set the set the tone Yep, run DMC then rock him came out the real laid-back delivery, but you think that was difficult to mimic Yeah, I mean there are a few people that came out sounding like him right you know to me throughout the years, but It's difficult for me. I can't I still can't yeah but but it's difficult for me, I still can't do it. But E40 has a way that, you know, there are people that, you know, if you can rhyme in

the pocket, it means it's very important to some people, but there are a lot of artists that I think don't technically rhyme in the pocket that are 10 times more entertaining to me. Do you know what I mean? Like, like Old Dirty dirty bastard on Brooklyn Zoo, it's one of the finest recordings of all time. It's magic. Yeah, it's magic.

It's the way he's saying shit. And I'm like, nobody can do it. You know, maybe a few, Wesley Willis, maybe can do it. But, the ODB stories, I mean, I'm sure you can get, you probably knows it, but like, the stuff that I've seen in interviews, how they're like, you know, shown up to sessions and also being like, we don't even, it's not like, hey, go in there, let's talk about this.

They would just like, on some cases, just hit record and see what happens. And he would just go off on these things that were like magic moments that he captured. Absolutely, absolutely. And that's all soul personality and just him being him, which is some people get too technical overthink things. I heard with him.

For real, tell a story about when he did a song with ODB. I forget the name of the song right now, but how he said ODB was like, what do you want to do? And that for real was like, just do your ODB shit. And then he's like, I don't know what you mean. So for all did his impression of ODB to him, he was like, do that. Yeah, he's like, oh, okay.

So like, he was doing him to him, like do this. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean, to get a performance out of somebody it was. Yeah, okay. Yeah, it's just one of these iconic people that, you know, they will never be another guy. Yeah. You can't just, you know, yeah. It's true. I guess in comedy, you have like your Sam Kinesens, Robin Williams, these people that like have some weird mental chemistry mixed with drugs and alcohol or whatever the fuck it is they're on and you're like do that combo will only ever exist in that human meat sculpture and that particular space in time. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's pretty wild. I wonder

how much mental illness does play a part in these creative people. Fascinating personalities? Yeah, because the best comics are just fucking gone, you know? But I love them. Sure, yeah. You guys are fucking gone. Yeah, gone. Yeah. Fucked up, gone up. Everyone's pretty fucked up.

Yeah, I gotta get a little crazier. I feel like seal would say. Are you not a man who kinda pushed you that glass? I'm at all crazy. Yeah. Can I tell you what I love about you actually? Yeah. Is the, is how not crazy you are and how relatable.

I always go back to there's Woolers. I love that. Anyway, I like your song Burrito. It's silly as it is because everyone, there's just one lyric where you're like, I'll take the barbakawa. And you're like watching some guy fucking the barba cowa, and you're like, watching some guy fucking not know how to order.

And you're like, fucking ordered douchebag, like, come on man. Just like that little moment, that minutia. That's the same with call me. I told you that, how much I love call me, because it's a very relatable sentiment. And it's like, what are your fucking fingers, but what are you saying there? Because that's exactly like how it feels.

Yeah, thanks. Well, that's actually a diss track to 7L. Nobody knows that, but I'm dissing you. Yeah, because we have a lot of communication issues. Of course, that makes sense. I'm like, oh, man, just call me and we'll figure this out. Or at this point just text me, but text me like, English.

You know what I've never thought to do? I've never thought that when I'm having that very situation with someone. Yeah, just to send them that song Yeah, that's what I should be doing. Yeah, just send the song. Yeah with your with your roller decks I'm sure that would be nice for me. So when you send that over to you. Yeah, you know I'll quit in Tarantino Fucking call me. Yeah. Yeah, bitch bitch Yeah, yeah, fucking call me yeah, yeah bitch bitch So we're gonna do a little segment we like to call horrible hilarious Segment stress this is a great one today you got it sometimes you don't know what's in the folder and then sometimes it's amazing

and you're here for a great day. Okay. So we watched the video and you tell me is it horrible or hilarious? Okay. Cool, no. I've fallen off stages before, I don't like this. I've like done that.

That's all the answer I need to fucking hear right there. Shit man. He already voted. Well, you know, you wanna balance that with some degree of compassion, because you don't want that. You know, you guys have been on plenty of stages. You don't wanna fall off stage unless you can. But that is, it's funny because.

It's always funny to see somebody fall. Is that guy an asshole or is he, you know, that's why, right, right. Well, here's the cool thing in this is for real. He's fine. He's okay. Oh, that's good. Yeah.

He's the camera guy. He's just trying to film the fucking, yeah, it's like those are, he's doing a job and he's backed up. No one had his back, because he's the only guy. He's the only guy that has his back. He's supposed to be like, hey, watch out.

Watch your step. Security guard definitely, he's in the Buffalo stance, yeah. He's got a lot of, he's got a lot of, he's got a lot of, he's got a lot of, he's got guard, definitely. He's in the Buffalo stance, yeah. He's coming. He's coming to Nana Cherry. Yeah, it's funny. Chicken low. Yeah, there's a chicken song.

Soaka, you listen to those lyrics now. It's funny how, you know, they're dated, but they're just like it's such a time capsule of, I'm not sure where she is. No money man can win my love. It's sweetness that I'm thinking of. Exactly, and that's the big. That's what I married this guy for.

Yeah, absolutely. What is a buffalo? He's coming everywhere. He is coming everywhere. He came everywhere. Ah. That's true. What is a buffalo stance?

That's what the security guard is in. Oh right. We always hang in a buffalo stance. We do the dive every time we dance. I give you love baby, not a real man. So don't. You guys have a fun rest with me. I never you love baby not romance. So don't let you have a fun fresh with me. Come on in let's see. Can we win my love? We do the dive every time we dance. We do the dive every time we dance. No, it's we always hang in a buffalo stance.

We do the dive every time we dance. So don't, I hope he dies. I hope you fucking die. Yeah. That was real. That was real. That was real. That was very real.

That was real. I don't know if it's funny, right? Ah. I, uh. Funny, right? Uh. Uh. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. I, uh. Uh. Ah. It's not funny.

It's not funny. It's funny to the alligator community. Yeah. Yeah. Gators are laughing. Yeah. I recently went on an airboat with my son down in the Everglades.

We went through when we saw all these, and we were able to catch an alligator fight. Like, unsanctioned. It wasn't like a Michael Dick thing. It was just two gators, they were just fighting, and one was just fighting the other's torso, and the guide on the airboat just kinda looked at it like it was normal, and I say, can we go break this up or something?

And he, I think I wasn't really gonna hop off the road, but they were on land, you could kinda, and it's shallow waters, but it's very dangerous. And before you get on the airboat, there was a guy that was kind of on that animal trainer situation where he would say, you know, he'd say, I know how these skaters behave and what they're capable of.

And that's why I can get away with doing something stupid like this. This is it, I never understand. I never understand, hey, you know what the fun thing is? I'm gonna stick a limb or my head into a predator, a deadly predator's mouth. I don't understand, hey, you know what the fun thing is? I'm gonna stick a limb or my head into a predator, a deadly predator's mouth. I don't get what the fun is here. It really don't.

It's really stupid. The whole thing makes me anxious. Whenever anybody does that, look at my hand. That's like, what are you doing, man? Dude, I asked permission to pet people's dogs, man. Like, you don't even know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I usually, when I see people's dogs,

I kind of drop to my knees and roll over on my back and want to get attacked by them in a loving way. Sure. But actually outside here, there was two German shepherds off the leash. Do you know who they are? No. Not this guy, but there were two real ones out there and they were just both under the command of the guy. I thought you were actually saying that as a description for two women that

you thought were on track. You mean real dogs? Because I love that. There's two fucking German shepherds off the leash. I'm like, yeah, I know. That's Emily and Melissa that working next door. That's what you're saying. I thought that was a bass at house. Oh, that's true. That's true. But that. But German Shepherd's a beautiful house. They're beautiful. They really are. They really are. I mean, they're just true.

They are. They are. They are beautiful. And yeah, they're off leash. I do think it's kind of a flex for a dog owner. Yes. A negative flex though, like, they might have to drop the leash.

It makes everyone else tense. Yeah, and then they go, don't worry. It's like, well, you can make everyone not worried by doing the leash. Yeah, absolutely. Don't you feel this was so stupid as to it, but don't you feel like German Shepherd's racist dogs, Dave?

Oh. Don't you feel like they're just like racist? Like, is there German? Yeah. Cause the Nazis trained them? Yeah. I feel like Nazis. I mean, any is netting.

I hear's notting so hard. I think it's next one of them. I can't see you. I'm scared of German Shepherdting. I think it's so hard, I think it's next one. I can't see it. Right? They're Hitler dogs. Yeah, I agree. Bro, they're cops, they're narks. Yeah, they're narks.

Look. Those are not slaves of the dog world though. Look at fucking, yeah, there's a fear. Look at garing right there on the right, upper right. They are racist dogs. Oh, the fox dogs are color blind. Look at that. No, I think Nazi dogs. They are not. I've that. No, I've got Nazi dogs.

They are not. I've met a lot of good German shepherds. I used to work in the post-op at an animal shelter, and I would have to, not a veterinarian's, what do you call it, a vet. Yeah. I used to work there in the post-op, and they'd come out, and I would have to give the dogs their medicine. Yeah.

So I would have to go into the jaws of wrought wilers, pit bulls. Oh, you know, and they're giving their, they're in the post-op and they'd come out and I would have to give the dogs their medicine. So I would have to go into the jaws of rotwilers, pit bulls. You know, and they're given this. It's the scariest. They're sedated. The scariest, I'd have probably traditionally, usually afraid of the pit bull, you know what I mean, but the rotwiler was originally the dog that I had. Rockwilder. Yeah, say it right, geez.

That's a wrap, but the fuck's going on. The Roddy. I know had rock wilder. Yeah, say it right. That's a wrap. I get it. The Roddy. I know the rock wilder. Yeah. So, so, so, so, the rock wilder at that time of my life was the one that I probably was feared the most. And this guy turned out to be the most loving dog. Of course, he was on a shitload of trash.

I don't, but so, so I can, I could go right in there and then feel, I right in there and just like a lab. And you know, a conicorso. Mm-hmm. Oh, there's a bunch of dogs that are typically intimidating, but I know it's a cliche, but I think it's the owner. The owner is fucking Hitler. You're gonna be a bastard of a dog. You're a racist dog.

You're gonna be a racist dog. Do you think that a dog owner of a German shepherd needs to tell that German shepherd what their grandparents did like They should be like you shouldn't be proud of your lineage You've attacked black people in mobile you've killed Jews and docker Do you think that's something that you should tell that that's such a good idea? Let them know what their history is well Well, you have to do it in clicks because they respond to click retraining.

So it's kind of like a Morse code of, but I think we've been giving these dogs too much of a pass. I got to be honest. Shepherds in general? No, shepherd, I would love to, I've been trying to push my wife to get a German shepherd for a long time.

But it's a different personality. You know what I mean? They're all business. Is that very precise precision dogs? The highly trainable. You have to train them. He's right. Yeah. I mean, it's like they enjoy it.

You know, speaking of dogs. They're so stupid. If you have blue eyes, I'm not going to worry about. Can I say like my dad got a German Shepherd one. They're so stupid. If you got blue eyes, I'm not gonna worry about it. Can I say like my dad got a German Shepherd one. So my dad's not a dog trainer, like he's so lazy. And that fucking dog, you they are smarter shave. If you don't give them any direction,

they will just tear your shit up, tear your house up, shit all over me. They need it. Yeah, they are the puppy to make sure. So here's a Milan, they need a job to do. Yeah. That type of dog. So working breed dogs. So they're happy with the job.

Yeah. My dog, one of my dogs is a lab and he has to chase balls and bring the balls back. Yeah. Or she or she's not happy. How dare you misgender your dog. Yeah. She's very. She's very open minded.

And you know, I have this thing where I look at rocket who is a who is a boy. You know, he's got a cock. Is that the word on this show? Yeah, you can say cock, cock, cock. And Pepper, who's a girl, but Pepper kind of presents in your traditionally Lufarigno masculine way. And Rocket presents more like Richard Simmons. Green?

Yeah, and it's just a... So maybe they do have different pronouns. Maybe you should ask them to prefer it, but... Yeah, yeah, and I, the thing is, I never had a female dog and so pepper. And so I never saw, I never saw the female genitalia so close on a dog and hers is very Cardi B pronounced just really out there. Yeah, and it's like oh God. It kind of looks human

Because I've only had a little small dog a small female dog and her hers Like we could just see the outer bits the labia should a big oh Hers, we could just see the outer bits, the labia. I should have big labia. You ever seen someone fuck a dog? No, I already got a gag reflex. And this is the place to go. I'm gonna see it. No, I'm not down with that.

I'm not down with picking little things off the... Not that I'm beast-y ol' phobic. Yeah, yeah, no, no, I'm not daring. But I just don't like getting into that area. And you gotta, you know, you gotta mop the wall but I keep the playing. Yeah, that's what we do, that's what we do the bitty. Yeah, well that's great.

Remember, I had a lot of fun in the world. Yeah, yeah, I don't think that. It's kind of because they get into a lot of shit and they don't care. I don't think twice about it. It's not, it's a second nature to them. Like, how do they know to, to, if you don't take care,

they'll run around rotten pussy's forever. They don't care. No, they don't care. Yeah, in Pepper, she definitely, I hope she's not listening, but she could, she could use a little bit of cleaning. Here you go. Did anything have a German shepherd girl?

Like if she's like, don't touch my pussy place. Yeah, don't get hands off my little giants. She could be very stoned. That's likely that she might be like that, but my wife likes getting in there with, like she's into, sorry, and but popping zits. Sure.

That's what women do. Picking ticks off the dogs. Because I'm just gonna get right in there. She's gonna get an activity. And I'll go get the tweezers, and then I'll kind of bow out of the situation. But she'll get right in there. Yeah, it's like an activity. And I'll go get the tweezers. And then I'll kind of bow out of the situation. But you'll get right in there and sometimes I have to help like hold up the ear flap and So this precision precision. Yeah, let's watch a fun one. Oh God

Jesus is hanging out. Oh my God Okay, we're never hot air ballooning Disguised please please Okay, we never hotter ballooning Did he fall? No, he didn't oh Jesus this guy's gracious the best please Did he fall? Oh? Okay, this is Can I have a water I mean I would like a little refresh me. Yeah, this is I look at this is is tempting like tempting the alligator Yeah, you're tempting gravity and you're, you know, you're fucking with the weight thing.

How do you feel about aviation in general? Oh, absolutely. I know that you're a pilot now. No, I'm not. I'm trying to. You're getting into which is, which takes a big sack to do. But you don't like it. Oh, I hate it.

You don't like flying. The most for someone that flies as often as I do. You're gonna say you fly a lot. Yes, every single time I say, hey, thanks Josh, every single time I say, I'm risking my fucking life for this. Really? Every time. Off I'm the worst.

Did you run hundreds of us? Yes, and ask anybody I've ever toured with or anything. How's George? Oh, he's bastard. He falls asleep on the plane. Yeah, and deck, deck will be, deck's like, oh man, sometimes when I get nervous about that, I picture asleep on the plane. Yeah, and deck, deck will be, deck's like, oh man, sometimes when I get nervous about that, I picture myself as the pilot.

And that story, envisioning deck as the pilot helps me a cope a little bit. It does, because it's such a, no, no, not like, oh, deck's gonna set us down. No, it's that funny to me. Oh right, right. That that's his go- down. No, it's that funny to me. Oh, right, right. That that's his go-to.

Geez. Do you know what I mean? Because I don't picture myself as the pilot. It seems like there's an episode, not most of my flights, but a flight recently, the landing gear, the tire popped on takeoff. And I was up in the air for five hours. I'm not kidding, five hours before the captain addressed it.

So I'm watching everyone in the whole fuselage, even the flight attendants, seeing who's nervous, who's not, it was like an explosion. Oh, you guys heard it all. Oh, I heard it like no tomorrow, so. And then the pilot brings it up at the end of the flight. When we made an emergency landing. Oh, you made an emergency landing.

Yes, and Phoenix. And we're referring to LA. And what did he say? Yeah. He said, listen guys, I know a lot of you have a question about what happened on takeoff, but we blew a tire. And we had to- That does it seem like a protocol.

Oh, it was Delta and they say, they had to fly over the Phoenix airport so the people in the control tower could look at the underbelly of the plane to make sure it was safe for landing. So I'm like, I had Wi-Fi, so I was able to text my wife and then it's all like, I don't know about how this is gonna turn out. And then the Wi-Fi went out and there's no Wi-Fi,

so now I'm just saying in the plane, and this girl next to me has a cat. And she might have been from Korea, but she had her, we started making small talk because this might have been the last, you know, I said. You're like, I should try to fuck a Korean chicken. I was thinking, my high club and, but she had the cat and the cat's name was Rocket, okay?

And now it's my dog's name. And I said, wow, my dog's name is Rocket and we started talking about the dog. I could talk about dogs forever. And that pacified us for a little bit as we went past the Phoenix Airport. And they did. Oh, yeah, we flew low.

Yeah, and they determined that everything was safe enough to attempt a landing. The captain of the plane was not the most reassuring guy because he was like, we should be okay. Wow. And I'm like, I'm feeling the plane turn around to make the landing the approach. And as we're landing, he's on the mic and he's like, you know, there will be fire trucks

below to put out anything. So don't worry about that. I'm like, oh, that comforts me a lot. Like my charred body. And we landed and the fire engines chased the plane and there were dogs out there like you know police dogs German chaperids and no they didn't get hit by the they they helped they were there to help certain certain passengers certain color. Yeah, yeah. So anyway, that's a long story, but I guess it ties into the... Jesus Christ, that's worth it.

Well, it was the landing find. So did you feel that it was like a rock? Yeah, and then the debris from the Popps tires axle kicked rocks up into the wing. So the wing had holes in it and everything. Wow. So it was pretty crazy. I mean, do anything think they have like backup landing gear? Don't they have that shit on planes? Like I don't know about an tire. Yeah,

popping. There's a lot of there's a lot of tires on each side. So I think several of the tires blew at once, but they were still a big plane. Yeah, yeah, and then. Um, and then so then they, how long were you guys there before you? They gave, so it was just in feet. We landed a Phoenix and they gave us some vouchers to, to a hotel of our choice. I did, wow. I did, yeah, I didn't know what the, my hotels and Phoenix. So I picked one. It was close to it.

It's a polo. I forget. I can just get some. And, uh, the hotel was a fucking dump. Yeah. But that's one thing, but they were like, you know, you could just hop on the next flight. And I did not do that.

I rented a car and I drove from Phoenix to LA. Oh, you did. Yeah, the next day. And it was, you know, a very cathartic drive just being by myself in the car and just kind of processing what had happened. And then that night I went to the Lakers game and they were playing the Phoenix Sun.

So it was, and it was Delta on the jumbo trance. It was like, I left Phoenix to drive to LA, walked into a Lakers Sun's game, and then Delta's on his, I don't know, it was just weird. Yeah, yeah, sure. And I'm alive and I'm still flying. And I'm not as afraid of flying as I was before that, because I know that I survived, but.

I don't know what it says about me. We're like, when I'm on flights and things go wrong, it just doesn't like, it doesn't make my heart raise a bit. It's so true. You think I'm the dumbest dummy dumb dumb when something is jittery and I'm like, babe, and he's like, it's fine, it's fine you dumb bitch. And I'm like, God.

He practically says dumb bitch in his head. He looks at me distainfully. Like I'm a little pranking our children with this. I've been on some, you know, I fly a lot like you. Yeah. And I've had, you know, if you fly that many times, you're gonna have, so I've had a couple wacky ones. Yeah, I had one in particular last year on tour

that was, it was like, they were like, hey, I don't know if we're gonna be able to land because of visibility, because there was like, really bad weather. Okay. And I was like, oh, cut the shit. Like, we're gonna fucking land. And then they go, well, you know, if the visibility isn't there,

and then when we were approaching, I'm looking out, I'm like, oh, you can't see a fucking thing. And we did land. And right before he was like, if we can't land, we're gonna do one pass, try to do it again. And then if we can't land there, we'll go to another airport. And I was like, stop being a bitch land, we're gonna do one pass, try to do it again. And then if we can't land there, we'll go to another airport. And I was like, stop being a bitch.

Just fucking land, you know? I wish I had that perspective on that. Yeah, I don't. He landed. And then we got, I was like, holy shit. You saw the runway, like two seconds before they landed. That's how you died, I was like. It was unbelievable.

And when we landed, I was like, holy shit. And then I asked the pilot. I was like, you wanna do that again? He goes, that was the scariest landing I've ever done in my three years. Was this private? Wow. Was this private?

Yeah. See, this is how much people die. This is how like a Leah die, right? Like, just put the extra gear on the plane. Who cares if it's too much? The rich guy tells the pilot what to do. The pilot's too afraid to say no. Yeah, I was like, shut the fuck up.

And that's how you fucking die. Is now Kobe died too? Flying in the bad weather? Bad weather, yeah. Yeah, we gotta go. We gotta go. That's how you fucking die. Yeah. Cool. Somewhere the way.

So you're letting him find me. Yeah, I'm letting him find me. hilarious. Like he ever listens to me. I wish. I wish I could pull rank authority. Doesn't seem to care. I don't want to watch this anymore. I really don't want could pull rank authority. Doesn't seem to care. Oh my god. I don't know if you're interested. I don't want to watch this anymore.

I really don't want to watch this anymore. That sound getting back to Boston. Sheesh. In 12 years. Yeah. Can you imagine? I don't know what that one is. It was the guy running it.

I'm sorry. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. We just ran out of it. Crazy guys. Is that Fed Smoker? That voice on it.

Up there in the sky now without anybody. Or retired W. Let's just call it a sorbet. No fuck off already. You left. This sucks. Oh Are you left? I That's your kid Absolutely, that's the that's how I process a lot of stuff since having kids it's different

It's different, but yeah, that's um my son doesn't have a pogo stick. Um, no that hurts He does uh, yeah, he is playing football though. Oh, wow. Yeah, yeah I He is playing football though. Oh wow. Yeah. Yeah. I, uh, yeah, that's tough. My question for a lot of these videos that are unearthed is when that happens, who's making the decisions of public? Yeah, always. I think it's after you made a, you're recovered. Yeah, I know.

If you're the owner of it, right? You're like, oh, this is probably going to get a lot of, just think about views and clicks. Yeah. And if it's like, oh, I was videoing my friend died, you're like, oh this is probably gonna get a lot of Yeah, just think about views and clicks. Yeah, and if it's like oh I was video in my friend died You're like it's probably gonna get a lot of views I don't like it. Could you take talks? Yeah, you want to just do a couple more? No, I like I like this side of you Haven't seen this one. This looks cool. This looks terribly third world by the way. What shitty country is this in?

What Indian fucking, oh no. Oh no, fuck this dude. Fuck this. Dad, no fucking way, not enough money for this. Yeah, what kind of tree is this? Oh man, this is gonna... Oh Jesus Christ. I'm getting nauseous just thinking about it. Cut the power. Oh, it's not important. That is so much speed they've got going

It's like the geez right centrifugal force. Oh my god, just have the power Sikwags, oh they're trying to That's what they're trying to do I hate this so much Fuck this dude. Well, I thought that whole thing was gonna come off and just flatten them. Yeah, you took your headphones off. I took my headphones off, I'm looking at you. Yeah no it's fine. Yeah it was fine.

Yeah it was good. You didn't prep me for the vehicular homicide before so I don't know what's coming here. It's good to be heading, you know. I just, that is, first of all you're gonna live through this, which is good. These people live, they're traumatized, you're shit, they're never gonna go on a ride or enjoying their lives ever again.

Right, that's bad. Right. Like, your body can handle that much force on it. It sucks. Probably feel pretty sick. Yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah, you're gonna, you're definitely gonna barf that.

Yeah. Yeah. That was terrible. Well, come on, we did it. Oh, this is a good one, this is the last barf that. Yeah. Yeah. That was terrible. Well, come on, I would tell you. Oh, this is the last, this is a good one, this is the last one. I've seen this one. Okay, so look.

Wow. Look, we just watched the other people. They're like, he's texting. Look at this guy. Yeah. Okay. Again, not America. That sounds like the music from the old school. I love it.

I love it. My favorite is the guy that's six feet from her. Yeah. He's just like, what? This was an easy one. I like this one. I mean, that person is suffering. Oh yeah, thank you for pointing the arm, like yeah, now we, okay.

The guy here in the red? Yeah. He's like, yeah. He's like, yeah, I see you sure that the street that guy. We can just get his arm up. No one cares. I feel like he has a parking spot that he doesn't want to give up. There you go.

So he's going to stay and put. Help, help, my leg. Oh, see you later. My leg. Oh wow. This is unreal. Wow. This is really cool. Thanks, Tom. I really like humanity. This really restores my faith.

Why can't you? Why did I set it to that music? Fuck off. Yeah, I don't know. Try to say a nice story about Texas, though. Yeah. One time I got, I was in the car with the children. Yeah, I was taking them to school and then we got hit and run.

A guy at Carlow to do his Rana Red light and hit our car and we were stopped in the car with the children. And I was taking them to school and we got hit and run. A guy at Carlow to do is ran a red light and hit our car and we were stopped in the street and they took off. And you know what? I managed to get us to the side of the road. We were safe. We were fine. Everybody was fine.

And this nice Texan man about in his 60s pulls up with the guys that did the hit and run. And he goes, ma'am, I found these men. They hit and run you. And I found them. I brought them to you. And I man, I'll found these man, lay hit and run you. And I found them, I brought them to you. And I swear, I mean talk about like chivalry. There you go.

Wow. It LA. No. No. I never had to go. But with it, you have them on a last soul or something. I was like, I took pictures of you guys. Like he, he took photos.

He took photos. He fell down and then I stopped. Like, I saw what you did. I took pictures of you. You need to come back and go. Isn't that amazing? Yeah, that's a good text story. Yeah. Can I'm in there. And then I stopped playing. He's like, I saw what you did. I took pictures of you. You need to come back. Isn't that amazing? Yeah, that's a good text story. Yeah.

Can I tell you a good text and stuff? Yeah. I was leaving my hotel room this morning when a guy came up to me and I think he was, you know, he was dressed in all black, like kind of, I think he might have been homeless, but like had a snake eyes look, or like a new Kanye look.

You know what I mean? Just all black, Bala Klaava, and he approached me. Oh my God. Yeah, I was leaving the hotel room and he said to me, he said, you up in that hotel room, wishing on a bitch, I done already, fuck there, and I, and obviously, I would look, well, maybe he's right.

Maybe. I am alone in my hotel room. Yeah. Wishing on a bitch. Yeah. But the fact that he had already fucked her, it puts me into a headspace room. I start picturing the scenario.

And I'm like, well, I would hate to hear, I would hate if he beat me to this particular girl. Yeah. And obviously he was a crack pot. Yeah. What's the word for? Unhoused. Yeah. And you know, obviously he was a crack pot or what's the what's the word for unhoused? Okay. Yeah, I'm the Luke's. Yeah. And that was my sexist taste for the world. Wow. So you had a very different experience. Very different. Yeah. Yeah.

What? Different parts of Austin, you know, you're probably in the downtown region. I'm guessing. Well, this was Congress Street. Yeah. That's that's a different time. Okay. You up there wishing on a bitch wishing on a bitch. I ever heard that in a while and I was just thinking, you know, wish I was wishing on it. Did you get one of these like thank you for that. Um, not again, my clothes. Yeah, you know, I missed the correct one. Yeah, real quick. Yeah, dude. It's gonna fuck around. No, you don't engage with that. You just kinda keep walking. Yeah. Yeah.

So the album comes out December 1st. Yes, there'll be a tour that follows us. Yeah, yeah, in 2024. Wool Tanks on tour now. So that's gotta line down and then Zarface is gonna get on the road. Will you do Austin, please? I would love to. going to get on the way. Do Austin, please. I would love to. Absolutely.

Austin's the best. Yeah, I'd love to see you guys again and absolutely. That's awesome, dude. I mean, you're really our favorite dude. Thank you for coming. Thank you. Thank you. I'm loving too.

Zara official intelligence. I'm just reminding people out December 1st. Yeah. Yeah, we're happy for you, man. Oh, I'm pressing. Thank you so much. Virgin Records. Yeah. Yeah. We're happy for you, man. Oh, pranks. Thank you so much. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Fucking sell out, man. Never get your money. Good for you. Thank you so much for having me, guys. Thank you,

brother. Thank you guys for watching and listening. We'll see you next week. Water, water, jam, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Yeah, lense, I drink berry Tell me where's your water Tell me where's your water Could be Hydro Just bring water only your so viral Super H, you know I've been on the road All these bottles in the road Got sources on the low Saying you ain't got the flow of love

Swimming left and round you Swimming left and round you With all the sipes that I'm gonna be on the water champ Better do what I gotta do I'm gonna be on the water champ Better do what I gotta do I'm gonna be on the water champ Better do what I gotta do I'm gonna be on the water champ Better do what I gotta do I'm gonna be on the water

I'm gonna be on the water champ Better do what I gotta do I'm gonna be on the water I'm gonna be on the water I'm been sippin' you need fidget I'm putting it wild just like me Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Got a lot for the crew at CDOG Send a rescue ball for those hateful media

Just finish a 12 pack waiting for my lunch Ain't take crazy in what a sad punch You're not out of our butt Girl, you must be tripping If you think that I'm sipping If you wanna have something sweet Don't even look at me All I gotta say is show me

All day is show me Water, water, water, water, water, water, water, water, only for the chin, don't say it. you