Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - YMH Hunger Games | Your Mom's House Ep. 709

Episode Date: May 24, 2023

Christina P is coming to Canada. She’ll be in Toronto, September 7 at Bluma Appel Theatre and Winnepeg, September 8 at Club Regent Event Centre. Get your tickets at https://christinaponline.comSPONSORS:-Go to https://Saatva.com/theshit to get $200 off ANY mattress of your choice.It’s a main mommies ONLY episode of YMH with Tom Segura and Christina P! They discuss some Hunger Games scenarios with the YMH staff that gets Tim upset, Bryan Johnson the anti aging doctor, and celebrity women who age gracefully. We do Horrible or Hilarious, watch sink hole clips, watch a wild dude with his pet bear, and talk about going out with bigger ladies.https://tomsegura.com/tourhttps://christinaponline.com/tour-dateshttps://store.ymhstudios.com/https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast

Canada, I'm finally coming back to my motherland. September 7th, I'm going to Toronto. September 8th, Winnipeg. Get your tickets now at ChristinaPeeOnline.com. Woo-woo! This week on your mom's house, can I tell you I had a stupid thought? I'd like to share my stupid thought with you

and see if it resonates. What are they? Yeah, okay, what's wrong with you, bitch? How come you don't look as hot as you did when you were 20? Would you be mad if I got a drum kit in the house? Yeah. Yeah. Welcome, welcome to your mom's house.

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Here we are, welcome to the program. It's another episode of your mom's house, POMcast, and I'm very excited for today, we got some fun things to show you guys. Jean, how are you feeling? I'm good, I had a good lunch, I'm satisfied, I'm happy with that, I'm feeling a little fat these days, but other than that.

Yeah? Yeah, I kind of blew it out in the last few weeks, and kind of a self-loathing spiral. Yeah, that happens. Just drinking on the road, eating late night, and like, just being an asshole, you know? Just enjoying myself, but you can't even do in your 40s, you can't really enjoy yourself a whole lot.

Yeah. Like late night dinners, no bueno, they usually don't eat at night, can't do it. Can't do it, man, can't do it, want to, can't. Shouldn't. Sometimes I make myself go to bed with hunger pains. I do too, it's the only way that you're not a fat fuck. Yeah.

You gotta do it. That's what you do as you get older. Or just like, some turkey, slices of turkey. You just got, it's time to suffer a little bit, you know? You gotta suffer, you just cannot have fun all the time. Yeah. Because actually. You want to suffer or you want to see

Bill Extender on a fight, you know? Yeah, and I was gonna tell you like, we had thick crusted pizza a while ago, and that was the beginning of the end for me, because I have been abstaining from doing that. I loved it so much. Really? I was just thinking about thick crusted.

What do they call that style? Use Chicago deep dish or that one place called it Sicilian. So good. With all the pep on it. Yeah. I mean, I was in heaven and I usually hated it, and now I can't stop thinking about it, but I'm not gonna be a fat fuck and go back.

I do not like it. You still? No, I like thin crust. You're still thin crusty. And what kind of tops are you getting on there? I'm pretty simple, man, I'm a simple guy. Meat, you know, I just like pep. Snossage, too.

Sometimes, but I prefer pep. I like peps. I'll do a gourmet every once in a while, that can really get me some mix of like, it has like prosciutto and some ricotta and then some, you know, truffle oil is doubt, like that kind of thing. But mostly, I'm a pep guy. Yeah.

Yeah. I like peps. But I can also go a year without pizza and don't care. I don't, pizza's not on my gotta have list. It's on a, I dream about it a lot. I would eat it every day if I could. I'd be much more frustrated to not get my hands on a burger every once in a while.

That's true. I like it. Ooh, that's a good one. That's a hard choice. Cheese burger. Burgers, burgers. Many, many French fries. Yeah.

Yeah. Good point, James. Yep. What do you say we get going? You wanna do the opener here? I would love to do it. Let's party. Okay.

God damn it, Tom, you fucker. That's good, it. Who is Randy? Don't bring anyone loving to this. Your mom in the fucking stand. Welcome, welcome, welcome to your mom's house with Tom Segura. Tom Segura. And Christina Pajitsa.

Christina Pajitsa. Welcome to your mom's house. So. In the dove? In the dove? What? Did you know about that opening clip? I did not know.

Don't do this. Please, no. Just for that opening clip. Oh my god. You're supposed to be in charge. No, I don't like puke. This is for you. You get a new pair of Jew broads.

Oh, I'm about to throw up. Oh my god. Ah, disgusting. You get it. You earned yourself a puke clip. For what? Excuse me. Right before we were shooting something, you were talking about blowing a nameless member

of the staff. I mean, what do you think? I wasn't. My thing wasn't, oh, which of the ladies would I go down on here? Get them out. I wasn't like, I'm going to eat one of the staff's pussy. You're taking this entirely out of context. Did you hear me say that?

Was I like, I don't know. One of the females, he will get their pussies licked up by me. And he came to me and said, it's a hunger games scenario. Yeah, I know. Every man for himself, how are you getting, how are you going to get out? And I think of my two children and I was like, well, I'm going to have to suck some D's. Jesus Christ.

And I said, I would find the strongest male. I would find the strongest male. I would figure out who's going to kill the most for me. Suck his D, get him to be into me. We kill everybody. You're talking about it like there's all these people who you don't know who they are. You know everybody's name.

I know, but I'm not there yet. I'm coming up with a plan first. Here's what I like to do for it first, the form. And then I will fill it in with the actual components. That's how I liked. I'm doing theory first and then I'll go and apply the theory. Okay. It's a really good.

You know what? And you referred to me as an old man that hangs out here. Like you don't think I could kill people on the staff. I said that I have, when I'm taking into consideration which males I will be buddying up to. Yeah. Which males? I, because the males can kill me first. We know that.

I'm physically inferior. You guys will murder me. So I have to use my sexual prowess. Yes. And I would figure out who was the best killer and I do think it is you. Hmm. Whose clit will I be flicking with my tongue here? Hmm.

I don't know yet. I'm trying to figure it out. Oh my God. It is not an excuse to give beaches to anybody. I don't want to be doing that, Tom. Sure. If my survival depends on it, then I will do that. Okay.

All right. Well, I wish you all the best in your dick sucking activities. Have you ever coughed so hard from pot that you puked in? Yes. Seriously? Yes. When? Years ago.

Yeah. I've had some pretty rough coughing fits. I used to just go to bed every night after taking bong rips, you know. That was my process for like four years. Yeah. Yeah. We'd smoke and then it was like now bong rips, smoke bowls, joints, and then it's like, let's hit the bong.

Yeah. Yeah. Big ones. Yeah. Yeah. If you smoke, it's happened. If you're ever a heavy smoker, I was- You're a dog?

You're quite cute. Yeah. I can't confirm I don't smoke pipes or, I mean, I don't smoke bongs anymore because of that. Because of the puke factor? Yeah. You just coughed so hard. Well, because it just gets too deep.

It gets too deep and you can't get it out unless, you know, the puke just rises everything out of you. It gets gnarly. Joints only, baby. It gets real gnarly. I really know that. I'm glad I didn't get into bong rips then, you know. Wow.

Do you remember those guys in college? I don't know if you guys did this where you went to school, but in SF. There would be like those ultimate hippy stoners that would get the six-foot bongs and then like some other fucking loser would have to light it at the very end and you're like, oh dude, he's going to do it and then you go watch it. So much more. So fun. Yeah.

He's been that guy before. You've been that loser? The lighter guy or the six-foot inhaler? Both. I've been both of those. Of course. It's teamwork. Teamwork makes the dream work, baby.

Yeah. It is fun as shit to watch a guy do that. It was really fun. It's fun as shit to do it, dude. Yeah. It feels as long as you don't puke. Now the toys have evolved so much for getting weed, you know? I bet.

There's like fireless, like the heat the weed and there's these like volcanoes and oh yeah, dab kits and everything, like it's just like, it's a whole other world. I have a stupid question. I've graduated too far past this. Yes, Christina. Since you're a pot aficionado, why does the six-foot bong get you higher? Because it like got more smoke and stuff. So like there's more room for more smoke.

So imagine getting six feet of smoke versus one foot of smoke. It's just like, it's commitment to the game. So funny. It's like you're really in. Your toys are bigger, you know? You have better toys. Yeah, it's too handy. Can you Google a video of somebody doing it?

I just feel like seeing a dumb hippie doing like a six-foot bong rip. It really does remind me of good times, simpler times, you know? Yeah. That and like hacky sack. So stupid. Dabbing off a six-foot bong. Brew a 22-foot bong. Yeah.

There we go. Wow. I don't know what makes my pussy drier, the six-foot bong or the oculus? Well, you know, it's cool. Maybe both. I got to work. I got to work today and Ryan gave me, he gave me an adapter to play golf on it. Like it's a whole stick that you put the remote into.

Fucking cool as shit, man. We're going to hook you up with a bunch of cool adapters while you're guns. By the way, have those waiting for me when I get back. Yes, sir. Yeah. I don't like that Ryan's enabling you. I want everyone to enable me. To be a dork.

Yeah. Hmm. Nerd alert. I wonder whose pussy I would eat here first. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. That's, you're looking at this from the wrong.

Which girl would I be able to go down on? Babe, it's not like that was the primary. The primary focus was to manipulate. There are different females on staff. Babe. I'm not sure of all their names. There's a few of them, but hmm. I wasn't going to manipulate.

No, I'm going to manipulate them too. It was like, can I taste me? Babe. My tongue's all up in your puss. What are you going to do now? Can I tell you what I remind me of? Yes. I immediately went to your chili scenario.

Yeah. Because when he's like, the only way we can get out of here is by killing, and I was like, that reminds me of chilies, and that's why I went to beach. Yeah. Yeah. Well. It's the only way to get out. You got to play the game.

It's chess, not checkers, right? Yeah. You know who I bet would be a great person to consult with on this? Who? This gentleman, Brian Johnson. I achieved a world record in reducing my academic age. I slowed my rate of aging by 24%. It's crazy.

50 perfect biomarkers, 100 biomarkers that are less than my chronological age. My body runs three degrees cooler than average, and all these things happened because I empowered my organs to express what they wanted instead of my mind tyrannically overpowering the well-being of everything else about me to get its purpose. To me, the first step in imagining becoming a better human for me was putting my mind in check because it was running wild and it was ruining so much of what I cared about in life. Well, if you're listening, that is Brian Johnson, entrepreneur, venture capitalist writer and author.

He is the founder and CEO of Kernel, a company that can monitor and record brain activity, and OS fund a venture capital firm that invests in early stage science and technology companies. This is what him, obviously, revealing what he's doing to slow down his aging process. He's pretty obsessed with it. He claims to have slowed his aging rate by 24%. My team and I make recipes and we try to create the perfect diet. So I consume 2,150 calories a day and we try to make every single calorie perfectly suited for my body.

Don't waste a single thing. And so this represents all of our scientific work, all evidence-based medicine. We try to have zero guesswork. It's all based upon hundreds of measurements for my body. We try to generate the data, look at that through evidence-based medicine and we then formulate the recipes. My conscious mind is never consulted about what it wants to eat. My body is.

So these measurements ask my liver and my heart and my DNA methylation they need to thrive as by lots of processes and organs in my body and it generates data. It says I'm happy in this way and I'm sad in these ways. Wow. I mean, this, by the way, I'd rather die so much younger than go through this every day. It looks like all the joy is sucked out of his life, but so I've been 2150 calories. I've been watching him on TikTok and he has claimed that he's reversed his aging by four years and that there's no joy.

There's no fun. There's no sun. It doesn't seem like it. And he's like, I don't consume alcohol because it's too calorically expensive. Of course. I have 2,150 calories a day and you're like, gosh, what a life. He also seems like a fucking rough boss. You know that working for this guy is, yeah, he's typing all the way.

But it's worse than that. It's worse than that. There's, it's very, it feels like a very LA boss, you know, there's these guys that are just like, they're in their own world. This guy's in his own fucking world. It's not really reality. He doesn't know how to, you know, play well with others. This is just, you do what he wants to do.

Yeah. All the time. It's very, very expensive, which is good to be like the CEO of something. Sure. Can I tell you what I really like about this? So he's spending like a million dollars. What is it? Like, I forget some absurd amount of money to stay forever young, for every young years.

Like a million a day or I don't know if it's a million a day, but anyway, what I like that he's doing is he's spending all his time and money to figure this shit out and then we benefit from it later, like let this lunatic suffer. Well, we'll benefit from it after we're dead. We'll be prior to the next generation. Well, my kids. Yeah. But that's cool.

I like that millionaires are putting their money to this wacky stuff. This would drive me to suicide. The reason why I take 100 pills a day is if the budget is 2,000 calories a day and the objective is perfect nutrition and it's vegan, this is what sees my body in that perfect state. And so this is why a lot of people who do try to go vegan or do caloric restriction fail is because their body's missing critical, important pieces of nutrition. So this is what I did.

I put myself on this. I call this my autonomous self. It's a 2,000 calories a day, an hour of exercise a day. It's vegan. I just let my body run. So look the muscle mass, body fat. I measure all these things, full body MRI, a fat of liver, and then we say, how is this doing?

And it's working. It basically has tuned my body to near perfect health. Wow. Okay. How much is he? What is his actual age? Do we know? Like how old is he?

How many spins around? Maybe he's like 40 something, I want to say. Well, 45. He's 45. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, his skin does look good. Yeah, it looks really good.

Yeah. He's, I mean, the guy takes care of himself. I just, I know. Is he wearing in that first one? Is that a bondage outfit? No. Okay. What's Brian's net worth?

What type of psycho are we talking about here? What level? Because I bet it's... It's so interesting. Probably up there, right? Right. 400 million. That's the money.

Damn. That's real money. What do you think is going on here? Is this like, he's afraid of death and dying? Probably to a degree. And he's probably, it's fun when you have probably that much money to just pick an obsession and go all in. Because you can just fund it.

You can fund it like you want to, hey, I want to open a restaurant. I want to do it like he's just funding what fascinates him, which is staying young and healthy. Yeah, it's crazy. And also, but I don't know how do you come up with the term, you know, I'm four years younger than Mike. What does that mean? He's saying that he's actually reversed the aging process in him.

Yeah, but anyone can make that claim. Organs are whatever X amount. But compared to what? As compared to before his process, I guess are the average. That's the part that isn't really clear. Of course. I mean, I don't know. Who knows?

Who knows? He's doing it, so he's doing it. Is this guy married? I doubt it. I don't think so. You know what? I feel like he's the kind of guy that doesn't like girls fluids on him. You know?

Maybe. He would be like, get your disgusting body away from me. Does it say? Oh, yeah. There he is. That's just like me with my oculoson. Go ahead. There you are.

Maybe I will like him. Always from Utah. Mormons, for to break him young. Yeah. No, I don't see a wife. I don't know. No, I don't know. I don't know who this guy is.

Okay. He's got a lot of time. He's got a lot of time, a lot of money. A lot of time, a lot of money to do this stuff. Everything is being acquired. Personal life. He has three children. There you go.

John was raised by a member of the Church of Latter-day Saints. He's a pilot. Yeah. He's a pilot in his climate in Kilimanjaro. He's climbing. Yeah. He's doing cool fucking super rich guy stuff. But he doesn't say he's married.

It doesn't. It doesn't. I don't think a wife can tolerate this shit. Oh, that's a cool headline. Black mogul Brian Johnson, who spends two million a year for his, for 18-year-old body cheated and dumped fiancee after she got breast cancer. Lawsuit? What?

How's that a lawsuit though? Like it's, it might be just be a story, but how does that a lawsuit? Keep scrolling. Dumped his fiancee while she was going breast cancer treatments. He made headlines with his, yeah, pricey regimen of exercise, special diet, even hooked up to a machine that counts the number of his nighttime erections, but his former flame TV actress Terence Southern alleged in a complaint that the multi-millionaire forced her to accept his philandering lifestyle and kicked her out of their Los Angeles home

after her cancer diagnosis, yeah, cancer diagnosis is a bummer. She claims he was manipulative and controlling during their three-year relationship. He in turn accuses her of attempting to extort him by threatening to make outlandish, salacious allegations about him in public forums unless he paid her exorbitant demands, according to a separate filing. When we reached by the post, a lawyer for Southern declined to comment. Southern who has made guest appearances on rules of engagement, new girl and American dad moved in with Johnson four months after they first met.

In March they got engaged of 18 with the romance with the divorce, fitness nut, turned rocky. He pressured her into letting him have sex with other women. That's cool. No, abnormal. Big deal. 400 million. Yeah. She also led Johnson had flings with more than a dozen women, so Johnson also made his fortune

by selling payment processing firm Brainwear to eBay for 800 million in cash. That's some real fucking checks there. Scroll, scroll, scroll. Johnson claimed he needed to know her past exploits he was concerned about suffering any reputational risk as a result of her having sex with or been with other men. Yeah, all this is adding up. Okay. Keep scrolling.

Hold on, hold on. Go up again. This is interesting. We were talking about the worst boss ever. Yeah. Go up more. His fanatical insistence on privacy required Southern to communicate with him only via the private messenger app signal where he could set messages to disappear in order to

limit records of his communications. That is tight. Wow. That's dope. Number of burner phones. This guy is other level. Scroll, scroll, scroll. Let's see here.

Do, do, do, do, do, do, do. Oh, there he is. This guy's great. Okay. She helped Johnson with the development marketing of his personal brand. Yeah, sure. This is when you're trying to get your money. You're like, I helped develop his brand, okay.

Look at him. He looks great. Let the guy live. Johnson had agreed to provide lifelong financial support. Oh, this is where the lawsuit comes in. Then she got breast cancer. She came, she became a net negative and a bad deal for him. He described her as a business term.

Oh my God. By the way, if she is going through cancer treatment, it's not a lot of scratch to him. He's got 400 million. Yeah, yeah. So wait, as part of this couple separation, the lawsuit alleges that Johnson breached and expressed oral or implied agreement whereby he would pay $149,000 toward her living and moving expenses in exchange for her promise to start looking for a new place to live as soon as possible.

That's not that much money for him to do that. He should definitely pay that. You know what I mean? Yeah, it's not. This is to say like $149 a month. No. It's just like, here's your check. Go.

In court papers, Johnson's lawyer accused her of violating the terms of the written contract. Now on at least her third set of lawyers, oh yeah, she's not going to win this, man. No. No. He's, oh, look at all that blood. Jesus. Look at those vials. That's what I'm saying.

He is obsessive. Obsessed. It's wild. Yeah. He reportedly employs an army of 30 doctors. Yeah. Amazing. He gained notoriety after it revealed he pays him with 30 doctors to help oversee his extreme

wellness regimen. His goals to eventually have all of his major organs, including brain, liver, kidneys, teeth, skin, hair, penis, and rectum, functioning as if they were in his late teens. Okay. Sweet, dude. I hope he does it. Yeah. Sell that knowledge to us, dude.

Yeah. Figure it out. Yeah. What a bummer though. Could you imagine like being with that guy and being like, what are you drinking? What are you eating? Oh, is that a Diet Coke? Yeah.

It's going to be like that all the time. Like, oh, shut up, Brian. All the time. Fuckin' Brian. Never ends. I know. He's like, should you really be having that? You're like, God, he sleeps in his hyperbaric chamber every night, probably.

Yeah. And then he tells you, are you going to go for a dip in the chamber? And you're like, I don't really feel like it. He's like, God, you got to deal with your bullshit every day. You don't take life seriously. Yeah. So gross. Yeah.

He would really do the narcissistic game. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. You know, my last girl, Jenny, she'd spend the night in that thing without me even having to ask. Oh yeah. What do you think he's like to be your dad? Ooh.

He's got three kids. Could you imagine this is your dad? That's a heavy one. He got no chance. He's perfect. You're not. He's perfect. You know, I like to do the polar opposite on this show sometimes.

Yeah. It's the guy who really takes care of his health. And then there's, you know. I thought I would take this time to tell you guys what happened in the subway bathroom the other night, the other day. I wasn't going to tell you guys, but fuck it. Why the hell not? I told you guys everything else, right?

So I walked in the subway and I told the guy, I'm going to buy a sandwich after I used the bathroom, which I was, but I was in such a hurry to get to the toilet that by the time I pulled down my pants before I even sat on the toilet, I was already pooping. It was all over the toilet seat, all over the porcelain part of the toilet. And when I stood up to get dressed, I had poop all over my jacket. It was incredibly disgusting. And I had to use toilet paper, a whole roll of toilet paper to clean up the whole mess. Jeez Louise, things that happen when your body gets old.

So there's a really good case for him, you know, to actually pay attention to these things. She's not that old. She doesn't follow. Yeah, she's not even old. But she might be around his age. And then there's somebody who takes care of himself like Brian and then there's the lady right here. He took a whole roll of toilet paper.

And she pooped on her jacket. Oh. That sucks. That's the worst. Have you pooped like that, violently? Shit on my jacket? I don't think so. I've never had such a violet.

Not like this. And she's like, God, I really had to go. You think she left and she was like, I'm not going to get that sandwich. I just got to get home. That's the biggest travesty is that she tried and get her sandwich. How mad would Brian be to have to spend the day with her, you know? They should do, can't they? We love to see a reality show with Brian and we pair him up with her and they have to be

married for like a week. Well, he would just be like, I'm going to change who you are, you know? I'm going to help you be better because you suck. She sucks. Yeah. It would be a fucking shit, literal shit show. Yeah. That's a bad, bad, bad, bad, bad.

Pretty bad. Aging also, we talked about this whole, there was a story that was trending a little while back about Justine Bateman. Yes. Jason Bateman's sister. Yeah. Famous in the 80s, family ties. She made the news because people are like, you look older.

She's like, well, I'm 57. She's like, I am older, dipshits. Yeah. I'm just aging as people age. Just because she didn't do plastic surgery and get injections and like, you know, she's just like, yeah, I'm just 57 and accepting it. Yeah. And people are like, but why do you look so old?

She didn't get her blephs done, upper bleph, lower bleph, face lift, none of that shit. Yeah. I know. It was funny that this became a story and there's an interview of her and she goes, I like my face. Yeah. I think my face is rad. Yeah.

And I was like, how sad that this woman has to defend her face. Yeah. Well, this is what's happened. It's so fucked up. Because we resist aging so much and what it looks like naturally that when somebody of, you know, a noteworthy person goes, no, this is what I look like. People are like, ugh. Your old bag.

She looks great. She's fine. She looks like a normal 57 year old woman. She's 57. So yeah, I agree. And so I've been looking at how actresses and people age and I'm very obsessed with Isabella Rossellini and I've always been obsessed with her. Will you go to her Instagram account?

She's lovely. So now she's in her, she's like 70s and she lives on a farm, on a farm in upstate New York and very natural, like look at her. She hasn't had work done either. She just puts on like a red lip and a little bit of eye makeup. She doesn't seem wrinkled at all. She's closer. Well, yeah.

But she's great and she just got, Lancome just picked her up again to do an ad campaign really as a 70 year old woman. Yeah. I mean, she's fantastic. How do you know she doesn't have any work then? I'm assuming she hasn't, she doesn't, I can't tell. I mean, if she has, like, look at closer, I don't know, I don't think, maybe she has a little bit of done, I don't know, but it's very good.

And she's adorable. She, this is the egg she got from her ducks and her chickens and she tells you about the eggs. She's like a normal 70 year old woman. Yeah. Yeah. What's wrong with you, bitch? How come you don't look as hot as you did when you were 20?

Yeah. Yeah. Get some injections. Yeah. Get some injections from people where they go, like, damn, you look old, man. I'm like, cool. Thanks. You look a lot older than you used to.

I'm like, well, I should. Yeah. Yeah. I should look older than I used to. But do you think she's had work? There's the ad that she's in right now. It's really cool. There you go.

That's cool. Yeah. I like her. She's a lovely lady. Yeah. She's really smart too. She likes science and animals and shit. I like that too.

I kind of see myself, like, this is how I want to be if you're cool like that. Loving science and animals and shit. Yeah. Like when we're like, I'm 70. I want a farm and I want those. Depends. Maybe you'll be blowing half the guys that work on the farm. And then I'm going to have to reign it in with you.

Pull back on those. Isabella Rossellini wears a red lip and she should wear my lipstick. Christina P. is perfect red. What a perfect segue into my lipstick. This is from Italy. She's Italian as well. So I'm going to send this to Isabella Rossellini. You're going to send her one?

Yeah. Guys, some customers do stand up live. I'm going to be at the comedy of X, September 14th, 15th, and 16th, and then, um, and Denver. Yeah. Downtown Montver. And then tomorrow I'm at the red room at Cap City in Austin here, just working out some new material in front of an intimate room of 70 or so people. Cap City, which is at the, uh, the, the, the, the domain here in Austin, Texas.

Yeah. I love the bromane. It's very nice. It's a nice, dignified, outdoor mall. Yeah. It's really spread out. It's huge. We only took a walk around, like to the bar area.

I didn't even know all that shit existed because we only go to the one side with our kids. Yeah. I was like, dude, this is a whole fucking, I don't know, I was in a mall. It's like a city. It's like a city in a mall. A city. Would you live at a mall? No.

I know. No, I don't. I don't want to. You can do that. You can live at the mall now. You can live at the mall. Yeah. Like in LA, people can live at the Grove.

I'm like, I can't think of a worse idea than living amongst just crowds of people. Yeah. I don't want to do it. That sucks so bad. I used to open like that. I remember when I did the old Palm Beach Improv, I was like, welcome to the mall. Some of you live here because there's apartments at the mall. Who wants to live at the mall?

That's crazy. I understand liking it where you're like, I'm home, but like, oh, I lost sunglasses. I can just go downstairs to the Sunglass Hut because it's right here where I live. I know. You go to the Cheesecake Factory downstairs. It's too much. You don't want access to all the things you can buy. All the time.

Yeah. It's good to have a destination to go to. Yeah. Or maybe if you're a bachelor, that's like a perfect thing because then like, you don't have to, you don't cook or anything. Just walk on down in your Cheesecake Factory. Maybe it's the thing like, you know, maybe there's a period of your life you want to live there for six months to experience that, but I wouldn't want it to be a lifelong thing.

Transition period. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Here, check this out. Okay. Please no more puke. Mm.

This guy is a nice guy. Rima. Rima. Rima. Rima. Rima. Rima. Rima.

Rima. Rima. Rima. Rima. Rima. Rima. Rima. Rima.

Rima. No, bailar, hermano. Yeah. What did he say? Bailar, hermano. He said, we lost another brother. Yeah. Why would you show me that?

It's horrible or hilarious. It's in the folder. I haven't seen it. That was all horrible. Yeah. That was a, if you're listening, that was a... Oh my God. ...working on a trench when it collapses.

Here's the update. He didn't make it. Yeah. How did you feel watching that? Did you giggle? Didn't make my heart jump a beat if that's what you're wondering. Yeah. No, I didn't laugh.

I just felt like, yeah, that's what happens when you go to work sometimes. I was waiting for poop to come out of the pipe. I was hoping that that pipe was active and I would see like crazy amounts of shit come out of it. Yeah. I didn't think I was going to watch a person die. So thank you. That was cool.

Yeah. That's how it goes sometimes. That was not funny. I didn't laugh. No, I didn't hear you giggle. I didn't laugh. I didn't, but that rodeo guy that his body was flapping around real fat, that was very funny.

Very dead. And he was much more dead than that guy. So dead. He was dead for a while. So like a dead guy. We were watching a body just flail for a while. That made me giggle. Yeah.

Yeah. You're a bad person. Can I ask you a horrible question? Sure. Does this happen in America, you think? Sure. Yeah. Yeah.

It's just not always on video. Do you ever heard of, no, never. Of like trenches opening up, like sinkholes? Mm-hmm. Yeah. What is that? I've seen that. I've seen a number of those videos.

Very, very scary. But that's just like the... That's probably the scariest thing. What is it, dude? I don't know what's happening. I mean... The Earth just fucking opens, bro. Yeah, Earth just opens sometimes.

That's crazy. It just wants to steal us. That's what a wild place we live. That the Earth will just open sometimes, swallow people up. Google sinkholes, motherfucker. Like, why does that happen? Oh, Jesus Christ. Why does this happen?

Let's see. Here we go. Oh, just out of nowhere. Yeah, imagine you're crossing the street right then. Wait. And that one just broke, right? Sometimes they break and everything falls much deeper than that, you know? Dude.

Like much deeper. What is happening? Just falls. Stuff just falls. The Earth is like, I'm going to swallow you. This dirty ass well. And there's nothing. And by the way, there's no complaint.

Oh! That's what I'm talking about. Fuck, dude. There's no, there's no place you call to file a complaint afterwards, you know? Like the city? Yeah. The city didn't do that. You're like, what happened?

They go, this is what I'm talking about. Oh, shit, dude. Where you're in that car and then the car just goes bye-bye to the Earth. Gone. Yeah. It just, the Earth swallows you. Who are you going to call the mayor? Yeah.

What happened, man? God? Yeah. I'm really upset. That is wild, dude. That's it. That's it. It's just gone.

That's it. It's just gone. Because I've seen them at the beach, like in California. Like, no, no. We were just parked. Yeah. We were parked at the liquor hut and it's just gone. Holy shit, dude.

Look at this shit. It's just collapsing. It's just gone in a hole in the Earth. Sinkhole. It's wild. Bye-bye. It happens everywhere, too. It's not just these third world places.

No, that's like, it looks like a, oh, this is the one, so it's crazy. Oh, dude, get out of there. Look at the size of that hole, man. I know. Do you think you can just shake your pants? Yeah. You can be terrified. You can be absolutely terrified beyond what you can even express.

Are these going to go right into that hole? Uh-uh. No way. Don't go in there, dummy. No one's, no. Okay, good. No, no. Oh, you dipshit.

That's fucking crazy. That's like, I got to keep your eyes on the road. That is crazy. No texting. Oh. Oh, he's upside down, dude. There he is. At least it's not that big pool of water.

Yeah, I didn't like that. Or it just goes into a water that the earth swallows. Oh, shit. This guy on a bicycle, there he goes. Let me tell you something. This. Oh. Oh, my God.

A truck. Yeah. Like a big ass fucking semi-truck. Just gone. Here we go. This is what I'm talking about. Give it to us. Let's see.

Oh, fuck. Oh, it's terrible. I think the scarier ones are when it actually swallows something, you know? Those are much, much scarier. Yeah, that's quite a bit. Here, let's change this up. Ready? Let's play guitar.

Isn't that a cool hushy? So cool. What was that? That was me. Sorry, I kicked the desk. I liked how it moved up and down in time with the guitar, and that was kind of cool. Yeah. That was...

You guys don't have his name? That guy's well-known. Couldn't find him. It's in the comments of that video. Looking. You got to give him credit, man. You can't just be like a shirtless man. You think this is Brian Johnson's worst nightmare?

Totally. This is why he does show his... Well, because his organs are not aging. Well? Yeah. Yeah, this guy's not going to live very long. Jesus Christ. There's no one else who's not going to live very long.

A belly. Oh, yeah, dog. This guy. There's a bear brushing the teeth of a bear. It's so crazy that there's somebody who lives like this. Foreigners with animals. Here we go. Look at that.

Russians with animals. Cut the shit. I'm brushing my bear's teeth. Hey. Snaps had it. Yeah. Like you would to your kids. Stop fucking around.

Stop fucking around. Does a bear need you to brush its teeth? I don't think so. They don't need you to fucking brush their teeth. I don't know. They just chew bark or something. They eat trees and they're fine. That brushes their teeth naturally.

Yeah. You don't need to brush a bear's teeth. I don't think you do. You don't need to get a bear either. That's the other thing. Most importantly, I feel like you don't even need to brush your dog's teeth, even though the vet tells you to do so. You definitely don't need to.

Remember how bad feeps mouth smelled? You never brushed a teeth. These teeth were terrible. We give them things that make the mouth smell better. Given these treats, there's mints in them or something. Yeah. Dog mints. But then they tell you never to give the dog anything.

Don't give them greenies. It's going to mess up their stomach. You can give a dog nothing, basically. Don't give them real hugs. It'll fuck up their stomachs. Yeah. I'm like, dude, don't dogs in the wild just chew everything? You can't tell a fucking wild dog not to eat stuff.

You can't. Yeah. I know. But the fact that this guy has a bear in his house is what's the craziest part of all. So crazy that we've seen so many videos on this show now where people have really wild animals in the house. I mean, it's one thing to have it on your property. But those guys are watching movies with a liger on the couch.

I know. And you just hear like...fucking A. I know. It's in your home. This is in his kitchen. It's gross enough when dogs and cats are in your house and they shit on your house. Dog, you have a grizzly in your kitchen. What are you doing?

I can't smell it. What are you doing? I can't smell it. What if I'm a bigger old bitch? Guys, look, if you really want to a big birther, try going to the bar. If you see a big bitch sitting alone at the bar, she's going to be very easy to approach. One of the reasons why is because she feels resentment towards all the pretty bitches who get chosen over her.

So approach her and I promise you she will start the conversation up herself. Another thing you can do is Walmart. Just wait by the motorized carts and start fishing. You'll catch a whale every 10 minutes. Damn. Wow. This guy's really figured it out. Where to find big women's smiley face?

Oh, the guy with the big burt gut. Mad Macca from the Cosmic Psychos. Cool. He definitely has a following because a lot of people were commenting that on that. Yeah. They're like, there's Bert. They're like, I can fucking rip. I mean, clearly he's playing the guitar over his head.

It's amazing. Yeah. It's a good talent. But this is amazing advice. Mm-hmm. Go to a big bitch at a bar and she'll start or wait by the motorized carts at Walmart. And he said, start fishing. He's not wrong.

He's definitely not wrong. Will you do it any? The voice? The three piece? What'd you say? You knew it. You did it really well in between. Oh.

Get your three piece, five piece, whatever the fuck you eat and get your ass on, bitch. That's good. Kevin Samuel's right there. Just so. Another thing you can do is try to gym. Go to the gym in January because that's when all the big bitches want to start working out because they don't want to be fat no more. On the downside, all they fat ass get tired by the end of February.

So you got to act quick. Another thing you can do is go to an all you can eat buffet or a church. Better yet, go to an all you can eat buffet after church. It's like killing two elephants with one stone. Jesus. Yeah. He's right about the buffet. Whenever Chase and I do a casino, that's the favorite part of our journey.

Sure. Is to go to the buffet and that's where the heavy hitters are. Yeah. Sure. They love a buffet. As do I. But man, a lot of fatso's at casinos. Yeah.

He's forgetting that demo as well. Casinos I think implies buffets. Oh, sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Yeah.

Casinos definitely have a lot of big women. Big people. Big sassy bro. I'm going to deal with you. Get on with your fat ass. Uh-uh. I didn't say anything. Uh-uh.

I don't know. Okay. What's your big ass? We don't play that shit around here. How about my channel? Uh-uh. Get that fat ass on the pad here then with your three piece five pieces of it. Fuck you.

You're so big. You cannot answer how much you weigh. I'm a 10. Okay. So you Beyonce? Yeah. What'd you say? What'd you say?

10. 10. 10. Oh, okay. You Rihanna? Mm-hmm. You Beyonce? Mm-hmm.

Okay. Beyonce ain't a 10. So what are you? I guess I'm a nine. Huh? So this is called hogging. This is when you go hogging. This is the first, that was the first time I heard it was when I was a freshman in college.

And one of the offensive linemen, big guy, goes, um, he was injured so he wasn't playing that week. He goes, are you going to go to the game? And I was like, I think the game is in like Virginia. He's like, yeah, come with me, man. We can go hogging, you know, right after the game. And I was like, hogging. I go, what are you talking about?

He's like, get us a big old fat girl, you know? And I was like, oh my God. I had never heard. He goes, yeah, I like to go hogging every once in a while. Dang. Yeah. Wow. Every once in a while.

Just to change it up. Mix it up. He just liked big girls. Let's have some fun tonight. Yeah. Yeah. Just to see. Yeah.

It's a different, I wonder. If you watch the game, we'll go hogging right after. What's the difference between banging a big sassy broad and a normal petite broad? Anybody? Um, I mean, you got to find the hole. Yes. I don't know. Well, what is the difference?

I mean, what's the diff? I mean, you know, it's, I mean, I'm a big sassy broad too. So I want to say like, oh, there's limited positions, but it's like, I think those were probably cut off by the time I got there already too. Yeah. That's right. Is that the only thing is you're just dealing with a lot more. I mean, they do a lot more though.

They do a lot more. They make up for it. That's the allure. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Big sassy broad. She's not going to ever say, what are you doing?

Right. Yeah. That's why you go hogging. Yeah. Hogs will eat all the slop. Oh, yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

They eat whatever you throw in their pen. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. It's cool. Yeah. There's no, I don't do that. Yeah.

Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Big sassy broad. The fans, we always remark of this show have so many talents. So many. Some of them are remarkably funny.

We see really funny memes. We see really funny videos made, really funny edits. Some are remarkable artists will sketch something, paint something, you're like, holy shit. And there are also remarkable musicians. This is Marcus Gerhardt. Check this out. Welcome. Welcome.

Welcome to your mom's house with Tom Secura, Tom Secura and Christina Viziz. Oh, shit. Welcome to your mom's house with Tom Secura and Christina Viziz. Oh, shit. Hello. Yeah. Oh, shit. Oh, shit.

Oh, shit. Gotta make a scene. Oh, shit. Alright. I guess this was good. I guess that was good. Thanks. Yeah.

Okay. Thank you for watching. See you next time. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Okay. Oh, shit. Oh, shit.

I can't do that. There's noACI. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Yeah. I just tried it. Yeah.

I Mean that was awesome. That was jammed dude. That was a jam. Oh me way to go dude. Dang I wish I could play the drums like that again. Would you be mad if I got a drum kit in the house? Yeah What if I built a room a soundproof room? And I just practiced you're gonna build it. I do want to play the drums. I really do I feel in my heart I could do it really. Yeah, you can do it. I really want to try where you're gonna build it I mean I just put it in my goth mom room under under our bedroom there, and then I'll just practice early in the morning

When you're doing your oculus I can be on my drums, I'm fucking fighting for our country God that's definitely a lot. I mean, how do you get good at the drums like as a little kid? Your parents must be so forgiving. Yeah, I mean, wouldn't you kill yourself if your kids like I'm really into these drums And they got a practice. I think now right with technology the way we're drunk You can get like kind of where they put in ear monitors and he's got and he's got a fucking drum kit in his house Well, no, I used to I used to in the big house, but now that I got an apartment I can't fucking slam that shit in the apartment. So yeah, I got an electronic one And you could just you could play in your headphones, and it's like a real I want you get me one for my smurf day

We're gonna put it though. They're cheap. How big is it? How big I mean like that like a big is the real a regular well No, cuz he's got like a full you know crazy whatever like 13 piece kit You could just get like a six piece kit, and it'd be like that's fine. I should smaller than that desk in front of you Yeah, oh Our neighbor has this he does yeah next door in the game room. Yeah, he's got a lot of room though. I know Okay, I mean, yeah, we can do it. I got an idea What is it Lenovo?

Downstairs do do you go downstairs? There's that play area is it area over to the right? There's something we could remove that and put it there Yeah, yeah, the kids will like a drum kid. Yeah, they'll fuck that thing up fuck it up so hard Yo, did I tell you I'm buying them a punching bag? Yeah, you mentioned this the other day. I think it's good because they're just so wild and aggressive Yeah, get them to kick Ellis will be like come on Let's go downstairs and train and then then they fucking punch it and train and he wants to he wants to get strong He goes I'm the strongest guy. I go, okay And then I just like picked him up off the ground. He goes, no, you're probably stronger than me. Oh

The strongest guy probably for right now. Yeah, you know, you want to be the strongest guy So if some random lady needs to blow someone she picks you out of the whole line up, you know Don't encourage him the dog Oh, you're still mad at me. Oh, you put the J-Brods on You put on the J-Brods Okay, can I change the subject then? Yeah. Can I talk about Hawaii? I talk about Hawaii Can I tell you I had a stupid thought? I would like to share my stupid thought with you Okay, so

The other day Yeah, I was in the green room and we were playing music That we are we all liked and right and Chase is more familiar with like pop music of today Cuz she's younger than me and I like my goth weird shit, right? Mm-hmm And so I was we're I was playing her some jams of mine and she was playing me some jams of hers and When I was listening to her jams, I was like, dude, bro Like all this sounds like the same jams to me like it all sounds like the same song

Yeah, I can't hear a difference in These songs and she goes well, it's interesting because in your music I can't hear the difference in these songs that you're playing me really and then it occurred to me. Oh So like you develop your musical tastes when you're like a teenager and then your brain kind of maybe dials into that And it prefers that groove, you know, totally like I can't even I don't even hear it like pop music I it literally so today's pop music, bro. I try so hard You know what I like that Nicki Minaj song that you hold a lot of money Yeah, like I like that one because it sounds dark

It does. It is dark has a dark tone to it. I like that. I do wish she wouldn't just rap about money I feel like it's very It's a played out topic and I wish you a bit deeper because I think she's capable of like she certainly is talking about stuff Other than making money. It's fucking boring. Yeah, it's true. It is boring But yeah, anyway, does that does that resonate with you like I literally don't even hear other genres? Well, I think you hear I think what happens is I mean, there's I know there's been Some type of study done about our capacity to digest new stuff Starts to fade as we get old so everybody who's older than you, you know, they always have their preferences stuff from their era, right?

So they go like somebody's 70s like I like the music from the 60s and you're like, okay It's good music, but it's because of like that's when they're first taking in sounds. I also think there's something to you know Sometimes people who like like sitcoms you go like they keep watching them, right? They watch them for 10 years after they're on the air and you're like Why did they like them and what they tell you is they're like it's like comfort food It's that you know what you're getting. Yeah, you don't have to deal with the anxiety of will I like this they go? I already know I like this. So the feelings are this is something. I know I like I Don't have any of that. How am I gonna spend this time? It's soothing truth

I find that true to be true when I listen to like the that hip-hop that I grew up with and Love when I put it on what it is. It's just like oh, I know what it is. Yeah, it's familiar I like it. It it keeps me like calm Regulated soothing that's what it is. Yeah, you're like you're regulating yourself with the shit that you've regulated yourself with for so long It's and the familiarity of it feels good. Yes, and then I don't like to take leaps Or like I don't want to I get a lot of anxiety, you know, check out this album. I'm like Check out this show people are like you should check out this show. It's really good I'm like whoo and what I find is that I mean I got to be into the show within

Ten minutes ten minute. I don't go like I'll give it a few episodes. I Have to check it out and if I'm I mean, I don't want I've changed in that sometimes I don't want to shit on shows Sometimes because I know too many people involved like I'm actually You know, I have the phone numbers of people who are on this show There's a couple really popular ones that I could not get into like they're very very highly respected shows And I'm like it just didn't do it for me. I gave it a chance I think, you know, we all have to allow ourselves to like what we like and dislike what we dislike. I Just I have that thing where it's like if it's if it doesn't get me right away

I feel that way about books right away. Yeah, Ryan Holiday said that great thing People who read a lot quit a lot of books Yeah, you know and people who don't read a lot get like they go like I got to keep reading this book I don't you don't need to if the if the writer didn't capture your attention He's like that's the writer's fault throw that book down pick up another book I a thousand percent agree and that's a that's a really good piece of advice. I think also I skipped the first few chapters of things in articles, especially. I'm like no all that's filler Just go to the actual meat. I really like my father. Yeah, and all is that books. I missed that part

It's true. Like don't read the introduction. That's the fucking whole thing. Anyway, I Yeah, I agree. Okay. Okay. I Give TV shows more of a shot. Yeah, I want you to I want you to look I Looked at we did this on where my mom's that please look up Phil Collins and show me I have it You think I didn't pull this stuff. You did it. Oh my god. I got more stuff shut The front door. Okay, cuz I was gonna like really set this up. I didn't know. I'm so sorry. I didn't know you had it I know I know I'm excited that we're thinking the same thing. Yeah

Yeah, this this goes out to agent jeans because he's a huge fan. Yeah, Phil Collins performing still so he's in his 70s. All right There he is he's He's still jamming but he's he's in an office chair Now Phil Collins does have a spinal cord injury, right? But it's weird to see him in an office chair in what could be like Madison Square Garden. I'm not sure. I Thought it would be a more decorative chair. Exactly. You know, it's he's a legend Something that like Prince would sit in. Give him a throne. Yeah, like a throne. Yeah, he's the he's Phil Collins guys He's like sitting at a Lenovo in this. Yeah, you know. Yes. They were literally like backstage swing. He's doing this

right here He's like And he can still hit the notes You can sing he can really say oh my god, but you guys couldn't find him a better chair I like they literally some grip in the back was like, yeah, this is a chair We have laying around in the green room like how embarrassing I can't stand It's crazy that the what happens to the body. It's just I know and Brian Johnson would never tolerate that kind of aging Well, that's never gonna happen to Brian Johnson. It's never gonna happen. Mr. Curry. You're a legend

I'm honored to get to talk to you tonight. How are you? I'm fine. Thank you. I'm happy to see you Thank you. Now we are on one of the best actors of a generation Also in a chair now that he has something like a health thing what yet a stroke yet a stroke This is what happens and by the way, this is everybody's future. So don't think this isn't gonna happen to you You're gonna be in a wheelchair, too Tim Curry, I love him so much the best he is fucking on Leaveable. Yeah, the thing is wheelchairs

Yeah, he's such an unbelievable. Hello Rocky Horror Picture show. I saw that so many times In LA at the New Art Theatre Saturday night midnight. I mean this guy's part of my childhood He's made yeah, he's made how great he is so many performances incredible He even made something that would be a throwaway like it would have been a not memorable performance That's when you really know you're dealing with a top-tier actor actually like home alone To one of those what he's like the concierge That deals with Macaulay Culkin that would be just you'd be like the guy that played but he makes it like Yeah, one of the he made that smile. Yeah, the teeth. He is such great teeth

Yeah, he has his he makes that such a memorable part. He's got great teeth because they're not perfect. They're They're just like a little crooked a little off. That's my favorite thing about teeth Oh God, don't do the side-by-side. Oh depressing. Well, here's the thing wheelchairs. They don't have to stop you You can still sing you can still Get out there You can still do fun I got you know you can still get after you can still box Look at her move You know you can still

You know I think the thing about being in a wheelchair if you're listening to this I feel like they would all be like, please don't You know I think the thing about being in a wheelchair if you're listening to this I feel like they would all be like, please don't Not include us. Yeah, I mean being seen as like, oh We're we're a we're a protected class because our legs don't work. I know nobody wants that. No, they don't want to be ostracized Yeah, show us doing shit. I agree. Yeah, except if I'm stroked out and my face is melted Just no don't take me out if you were like that. I'd play clips of you every week. Look at Christina trying to talk She's trying to talk right. She's trying to order food right here. Look at her Drool just spilling out of her mouth. You know what you're right. You changed my mind

We got to normalize Is that an order for a taco? What the fuck was that? This is true. We should be featuring people that have strokes and then every time you spoke here I would just mute your mic Like, you'd be like, I don't know, I'm like, Jesus, we can't put anything you're saying. Learn how to talk. Yeah, I probably would like that more than just hiding in the shadows at home. Yeah, no, we still make you feel like you're part of life.

That's cool. Thanks. Yeah, you think I'm going to have a stroke before you? You're insane. Why? You're going to stroke out way before me. Why? You're a man. First of all, men die before women.

You're all fucking stressed out because you work way harder than I do. Yeah. Yeah. And your family history, I don't think you guys. It's not stroke history, yeah. Well, me neither. But I feel like don't you think Tom will stroke out before me? He's just more stressed out than me.

I mean, I think Tom probably is more stressed. And yeah, also you have the Eastern Bloc bloodline. Cockroach, DNA. So yeah, you're probably going to outlive everyone. I hope so, please, please. I just don't want to get a stroke. Oh, wait a minute. Remember, my mom said she had strokes, remember?

But then we found out she just passed out at Lamps Plus. The doctor was like, she didn't have a stroke. She just didn't drink enough water and passed out at Lamps Plus. Yeah. She was like, I had a stroke. I had a stroke. And we were like, shut the fuck up. She hated you so much that day when we visited her in the hospital.

I remember. You're trying to cheer her up. You were so sweet. You're like, are we going to go dancing later? And she was like, go dancing later. After my stroke, I was like, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop. And I was, pop, pop, pop, pop. That's the problem.

My mom's house. My mom's house. My mom's house. Pick your fucking face up off your neck. Get it together. Yeah. Can't they like do plastic surgery to lift up the lymph side of your face? I don't think so, because it's like your nerves aren't firing, you know?

So they can pick it up, but then you'd still be like, pop, pop, pop, pop. But that's OK. Like if I had half, like Tim Curry, half of his face was melting down. Yeah. So what I would do is go to my plastic surgeon, have her just tighten up that side, maybe even it out, get the blephs done, a little work, even it out. I think when you're in that stage, you're not like, you know, cosmetically, I'm a little bummed out, right?

You're just probably like, hey, half my body doesn't function. I guess tomato, tomato, I still want to look good. Yeah. OK. All right. I'm still trying to get laid, still trying to suck dicks. You know me. Jesus Christ. You don't like that? Let's see. Two thirds of people at six months post-stroke

continue to present with persisting facial palsy after six months. So some of the droop restores, so if you just immediately go to fix it. Oh, I won't. It won't be immediate, but I will have them do temporary. Like maybe they could tape it up. Can you give me a temporary facelift? Do some Botox and filler. You got to give it.

You got to see what happens after six months first. Yeah, I'd wait. And plus I'll be bummed, like you said. Oh, you'll be so bummed. I'll be like depressed that my life is over. You'll be in such a depression that I'll just fuck. I would just wheel you into the lake. I think you would.

Oh, Michael King. He's another fucking amazing guy. Eighty-fifth. Oh, eighty-five years old, Michael King. He still looks okay. And they showed how his Paul McCartney is moving around pretty well. Thank God. He's got to be eighty, eighty-two, something like that, right?

Oh, yeah. Yeah. He looks great there. Eighty years old. Oh, he looks amazing. Yeah. Oh, that's awesome. Mac Jagger, seventy-nine. He is. Ringo is eighty-two. Yoko's ninety. Yoko's ninety. She just won't die.

No. And everybody wants her to die and she just won't die. Evil never dies. Yeah. God, she's a no. After nearly drowning with a beach wheelchair, we had to come up with an alternative way for Sammy to go to the beach because the sand and broom is so flat and hard, a normal wheelchair can go on the beach. And I blew up a donut for Sam to use as her floating device,

which worked so well. So I'm proud to say we've got this beach thing down pat. The next on the itinerary was the crock park. The things I remembered was that a crock's brain is the size of a thumbnail. If you're trying to fight it off, go for the belly. And if you're fleeing from a crock run in a straight line for as long as you can. We headed back around 430 and I did Sammy's hair and makeup and go her dress and look how beautiful she looks.

Also jumped in the shower because I was covered in crusty salt from the beach. When both of us were ready, we headed to the mangrove hotel where we found that the blue bear was taken by someone without a permit. But we didn't let the selfishness of other people ruin our night. Instead, we enjoyed the view and the cocktails. And that was our last night in Broom. Are they lovers? I think so. They're beautiful. I know. I'm like, I kind of want to be with them.

They're so sweet. I would go with them. I know. I feel like they wouldn't like me. I feel like they wouldn't like me either. Because we're not good enough to hang out with them, right? We're not good enough people. They're like really nice people. Remember you were saying that the other day about somebody's significant other? Can I say who? No, don't fucking say who. Jesus Christ. So this person's significant other is so lovely, like so nice and lovely

that I was like, I feel like I'm a monster and I can't be with her. And you know it right away. Like I have the same thing with that person and other people who you've met. And all of a sudden you go like, this is a really good person. So you start to go like, hey. You know, I like the way roses feel too. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Yes. We're like, thank you that.

And thank you so much. That's wonderful. And I'm like, I'm not I am friendly, but I'm not that nice, like overly nice. Yeah. Yeah. They're they're so friendly and so genuine. And you're like, this is actually like these people are out there. She's really like that. Yeah. So genuinely like that. And then they, you know, like they have a reaction to like, oh, somebody said something sassy and it was terrible. And you're like, that is terrible.

I wouldn't say something like that. I know. Yeah. Just because I like musicals, like things that are nice. Normal things. Yeah. So what are you guys going to do today? That sounds like a lot of fun, that hike. And then you're going to go smell different perfumes at the thing and donate some clothes at the shelter.

Yeah. Exactly. I feel like there's no dark thoughts in those people's heads or like weird. Yeah. I watched a biography on a last night. What'd you do? Yeah. Fucking exactly. Yeah. Yeah. I'm I like weird shit. I like weird stuff. I like watching videos of people in wheelchairs making fun of people

that have had strokes and their faces melting and shit. You know what I mean? Like how do you explain that to someone? You don't explain that to someone. Yeah. Yeah. See, right now, like even just how I am, I think I'm autistic. Well, if you said that to the person we're talking about, they would just go like... What? And the thing is, I'm not a bad person. I think I'm a good person.

But you know, it's the hardest part about being around someone. Not I'm not talking about who we're talking about. In general, those people, like the really sweethearts, it's what they laugh at. That's the hardest part. Oh, I know. Because you see them, they laugh at the laugh track on this. They're like, ha, ha, ha. And all the goodwill they built with you for being a good person, immediately you're like...

Are you really laughing at this? Like this makes you LOL. I know. Or even worse. Oh, they got, he thought it was blood, but it was ketchup. And you're like, great. Very funny. For me, the laughter I can forgive, but it's music. Oh, yeah, yeah.

It's music for me. If I know you're like, I shouldn't even say the names of the people I hate, because then, you know what I mean? You know what I mean? If you're into like corny shit, I'll be like, dude, I can't, we're never gonna... Yeah. You're just another species of human. This goes to, I had dinner with that behavioral scientist a few months ago.

And there was a group of us, and one of the things he talked about was that people... There's an expression, right? It's very well, it's very common. People say, opposite's tracked, you know? Opposite's tracked. And he goes, nothing could be further from the truth. This is like scientifically proven that what we're talking about right now is essentially what appeals to you and how you should be with people who share similar interests.

It's so much better. Whether it's your romantic relationships, your friendships. There's a reason why somebody goes, you know, I like fishing and you go like, nothing could interest me less. Well, guess what? That's a starting off point of like, this is probably not the person you're gonna align with, but if someone's like, I like fishing, you're like, I love it. There's an immediate bond.

And this goes for every relationship in your life. This is one of the biggest studies that was ever done. The more similarities you have with somebody, the higher probability, whether it's romantic or platonic friendship, it's gonna work out because that's what everything's about. Everything's about like, do you like this? I like this. And what we all have is this selfish thing inside of us where you just want to be around people who like what you like.

I know. It's so much easier. You're never wrong. You just have to find people who like what you like. Well, that makes sense because whatever you're attracted to comes from your wiring. So if you guys are both attracted to same or similar things, that would make sense that your wiring is probably the same. Did you know that the study showed that even having the same initials as somebody is appealing

to them? Oh, that's cool. You know what I mean? There's a part of us that even on a level likes that. That's true. You know, your brain just goes like, oh, your name starts with an N? My name starts. That's what people like.

It's so crazy. Yeah. They like things that have their name in them. Yeah. People like to hear their names, don't they? Yeah. That's so true. Pretty cool.

You don't say my name at all, ever. I don't say your name. I've said it a few times. Not a lot. I don't know what you're saying. What are you talking about? I don't know what you're saying. You don't say, like, Christina, a lot.

A lot. I've said it here a couple of times. Today? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Maybe I don't even hear it anymore. I'm so used to it. Yeah.

Maybe I don't hear it. Maybe you couldn't hear it because you had a dick in your mouth and you weren't listening. Wow. Wow. That cut deep. Yeah. That cut deep. Deep cuts, babe.

Yeah. Deep. The point is, though, hang out with people you like. Hang out with people who like the same things as you, whether it's music or movies or dick sucks, just hang out with people that like what you like. It's so true because I feel like in the mom world, in the parenting world in general, it's like being in high school again because you're on the sea of people that you have to associate with, but you may or may not like them.

So you're having to find that one diamond in a sea of fucking turds to kick it with. And then you hope that your kids like it, like each other. The same thing goes for like dude, just being friends with dudes. And I mean at all stages of life, there's sometimes you're like, oh, this seems like a good dude, right? And then right away, he's like rock climbing. And right away, your insides, you're like, yeah, that's a nice guy, but that's his favorite thing.

He's like, oh, we're going on a rock climb Friday and we're going on a rock climb Monday and you're like, yeah, and then he plays his music and you're like, he's like, can you believe that Jimmy Buffett's coming to town? Oh my God, Markaritoville. It's my favorite thing. And you're like, you know, you're a nice guy and I'll always like say, how you doing? But like, we're not going to be friends. You're a rock climbing Jimmy Buffett fan.

Yeah. Like it's just, where's our friendship going to be? It's not going to happen. And he's like, do you want to go BMX bike riding with us? No. I have zero interest in this shit. You know what's so true? I'm less interested.

Even my oldest friends, like Jenny and Shawna, that I've had since I was 13 years old. We like the same music. We like the same art. We like the same movies. We like the same clothes. We like the same shit. Yeah. It's so true.

Yeah, dog. My oldest and dearest. Think about besties that like when you go like, I know that person, I know they're bestie. They have a tight bond over shared interests. Oh, dog. That's what it's all about. My best friends at each stage of my life, we had to have a huge similar interest in at least one aspect of life.

Like I remember in Minneapolis, it was humor. It was like my closest friends. We shared a sense of humor. A couple of years later, we shared, we played sports together. So that's a big one. You bond over the fact that you're on the same team. You obviously have the same interests. You're playing the same sport.

And then you would have some other ones that would carry over music or humor. And then that carried through high school, college, big one, music, movies. The major. If we didn't like the same thing, we wouldn't have like decided to live together and hang out. Oh, yeah. It just continues that. And then if you talk about dates, like when you go on dates, that's the thing you find

out like right away. You sit in a somewhere, you can have a drink with someone, dinner with someone. And at the end of like an hour, you could be like, no, there's not a chance. Why we don't have any similar interests or it's like fireworks because conversation flows. Oh, I like that. You like that. Yeah. Because you and I don't have exact parallel interests or likes, but we overlap.

We overlap. You don't have to overlap on everything. I think you and I can sit down and find a movie easily to watch between the two of us. Movies can work. We can find a band we both dig, listen to in the house. Humor. We laugh about the same things. Oh, we LOL at the same.

That's a big one. That's a huge part of life. That's what you're going to be doing is like talking shit and laughing. That's a huge part. Yeah. Yeah. Someone asked me, I mean, I get asked this a lot, like, what's the secret to finding a good partner?

And I always say. Aryan Brotherhood. White. Yeah. You ain't right if you ain't white. Brotherhood. Yeah. So make sure they're the right race.

Number one. Number one. Look for that tattoo on the neck or the chest somewhere. Big one. Soreños. What do you tell them? I tell them that you should find somebody that you can sit in a café with for hours and talk to because that is like, that's what we do.

You know what I say here for fucking hours and days and that's what we, that's, that's marriage. And like, how do you handle stress and do you share a vision of the future? Because if want to use a low frequency slacker and one of you wants to write it hard and be a winner, good luck, dude, I think that's why you and I always worked because we both shared a vision of what the future should look like, you know? Yeah. But if I would be like holding you back or being like, no, don't do that.

Don't take chances. Go be an accountant. Then, you know what I'm saying? And if you are like that with me, like, no, just stay home. Don't do nothing. Don't do anything fun. Yeah. There's a lot of people like that.

Don't go for your dreams. I mean, we risked everything and then it paid off. Thank God. Okay, I like his name to be honest. Hitler. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I remember that, Jake.

Same interests. Or if you're risk averse and one of you isn't risk averse, I mean, yeah. Well, sometimes you need, somebody has to be a little more than you, but you can't be with somebody who's like, I don't take any risks. Total chicken shit. Yeah. Although those people pair up a lot. Two risk averse people will pair up a lot.

Oh, and then they, then, yeah, then they're happy though. They're happy that way. Some of them are, sure. I also saw a tech talk where there was, it was Esther Prell. Yeah. You know, the couple's therapist. Yeah, yeah. Esther Perel, your favorite.

She's Israeli, no? Yeah, cool. And she was like, in a relationship, there are two kinds of people, one who wants closeness and intimacy because of their childhood. And the other who feels smothered and claustrophobic and believes they are, insides are dying through intimacy. Yeah. So it's like one of you wants love and connection and the other one that thinks that's going

to kill them inside. Hmm. Does that resonate with you? Very much so. Yeah. Very much so. Yeah. Yeah.

Which one are you? Emails are entitled and fucking lazy. I think, I think we both know. I think we both know. All right. We got to run, Jean. Oh, okay. Let's go.

Thanks for watching. Thanks for listening. Bye, mommy. You know, talk to you, please, girl, life feels like fucking hell without a girlfriend. Just because I got a bald head and I'm horny doesn't make me a bad person. You get into like fucking straight up fucking songs, you know? Yeah. Only want to think about her every day and every night, girl.

You're going to be the most important person in my life, girl. We're going to be lovers after a second, girl. Fuck what others think of us. There's nothing wrong with being horny. Everyone's different. It's part of life. It's part of life, girl. When you do reflection pictures, girl.

I don't even believe it. Dude, Gurriel, thanks so much for watching. Love you. You're welcome. Go for it. Right? Big bro, gun adjk. Everyone read the nurse brand, girl.

2需ys Cowan. Why do I bust my look when I'll be sick? Because we're SaucePanda glasses. So I can look sexy, face fat Baby girl, so I can look sexy, face fat Baby girl, so I can look This fall in love girl, so we can enjoy the best for every young year together, so we can have passion in hardcore sex every day and every night and make Armenia babies one day