Your Stupid Opinions - Intimate Bleachings, Egg Shell Omelette, Diver Rage, Bed Bug Boogie
Episode Date: July 29, 2024Reviews this week include a very personal item that allows you to bleach a private spot, in the privacy of your own home. A mom & pop diner that may give you some extra crunch in your ome...lette. A beautiful natural spiring den that has a responsive owner, who is ready to answer any complaints with receipts & video. A very popular hotel/casino that may leave you with more problems than monetary losses & much more!!Join comedians James Pietragallo and Jimmie Whisman as they explore the most opinionated part of the internet: The Reviews Section!Subscribe and we will see you every Monday with Your Stupid Opinions!!!Don't forget to rate & review!!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Hello everybody and welcome back to Your Stupid Opinions. Hey!
Hello there.
Thank you so much for joining us.
My name is James Petragallo.
I'm here with my co-host.
I'm Jimmy Wissman.
We cannot tell you how excited we are for another week of other people's opinions.
Let's do it.
Once again, we'll say these are not our opinions.
We didn't write these reviews.
All we're doing is finding them and reading them.
And it's so funny because we always notice that it's most of the time it's sometimes
it's about the place that they're reviewing or the person they're reviewing.
But a lot of times it's about the person who's leaving the review.
It's really, I want to know what you should have to explain what happened around this.
You know what I mean?
Also, we're not following up on any of this.
No, absolutely not.
I couldn't care less what people in a Walmart in Des Moines have to say after we've talked
about it.
So it doesn't matter.
I don't want to talk to those people either afterwards.
Well, we're going to move around quite a bit today around the country and around to different
types of things.
So let's get prepped for that.
Let's start out.
We're going to need a good meal here.
We're going to need to get a base of something.
Let's get something to eat.
Where are we?
Of course, we're in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, obviously,
where we're gonna go to Perry's Restaurant.
What's Perry's?
It looks, it's a diner.
It looks like a Denny's, but it's a Perry's.
Like a local little place.
It says Perry's Restaurant, Pancake Place under it.
And then on the sign.
Breakfast joint, mostly. Open 24 hours, though. Oh, it's a breakfast joint mostly. Open 24 hours though.
Oh, get your pancakes at 4 p.m.
Come on in.
I feel like this is truckers probably
in the middle of the night.
It is 7432 South May Avenue, Oklahoma City.
And there's a lot of diners clustered
in one area of Oklahoma City,
which seems like maybe where a lot of truckers go probably.
Would be the best place for that. Let's get right into it here. Oh, I should say how many
stars it has. 4.3 stars on Google out of 2.7,000 reviews. So a lot of reviews of this place.
A lot of people have been here. Let's find out what Sherry has to say. Five stars. This
is one of the last few places that I consider a mom and pop type restaurant.
That's nice.
I guess best service she says.
Yeah, maybe in this area though they're talking about too.
Maybe.
I would think.
She probably should have specified that in the review.
Use your words Sherry.
Great comfort food, easy and relaxing experience.
And then an update, update, update,
return today and enjoy the delicious chicken fried steak,
baked potato, cornbread, and salad for lunch.
Jesus, that's a heavy lunch.
You're gonna go back to work on that?
No kidding, you don't need a nap.
Chicken fried steak?
Passed out in my cubicle, Potatoes, bread, I'm done.
At 1pm.
I am out for lunch.
Service was outstanding.
Still highly recommend.
Alright, next up, Jay gives five stars.
I'm a huge fan of the traditional diner.
Meaning, I guess all traditional diners.
This place is Americana personified.
Okay.
Which would mean in the form of a person, which is not a building,
you can't have a business in a building that's a person.
That doesn't make sense.
I like how those two words go together.
They go together nice and it sounds good and it sounds awfully like enthusiastic.
Actually, that explanation point.
I came for breakfast, but still had the fried mushrooms.
Just amazingly crunchy shell with molten mushroom inside
And ranch the ranch seemed homemade
They're frozen fried mushrooms fried mushrooms at for breakfast for breakfast ranch
This guy is gonna die at fucking 3 p.m. Well the other persons having chicken fried steak at noon, so
Wow out of their minds. Let's look at find Oklahoma's life expectancy and we know exactly what's going on here
There's a picture of the fried mushrooms. They look like nice fried mushrooms, but they're obviously just frozen
You know in a bag Cisco fried mushrooms or nothing special right into the fryer
Yeah, next up finally for the good ones it right into the fryer. Yeah.
Next up, finally, for the good ones, Amy, five stars.
Food was delicious.
They got slammed when I was there, so a little slow on ordering and getting food, but they
couldn't help it.
Only two waitresses and one cook.
They did the best they could.
Right.
It was an F4, James.
It's a big place that's staffed like a Waffle House.
They got slammed with an F4.
Slammed.
Boom. They're doing their best. They're making food. They're trying. Kimberly, one star, wanted to go to Perry's to have dinner
with my family and it's not the same waitress. It's not the same. Oh, there's no there's no
punctuation here. So I have to figure this out. It's not the same. I'm going to say period there.
Next sentence. The waitress automatically, as soon as we walk in through
the door, by the way, through me, like she threw a door at somebody. Soon as we walk
through the door, she has an attitude and she comes over after she gets done flirting
with the guy and takes our order still with an attitude. And when the food comes out,
my daughter and my husband are the only ones that got their order right. Mine wasn't what I wanted. I wanted a chicken
salad and that's it. She bring out a salad in a taco shell. She brought you a taco salad
just much different than a chicken salad. Maybe she heard it different in. Maybe you
said that. Yeah, we don't know. She thought you said, talk of salad.
Try enunciating, that'll help.
Use your words.
The theme today is use your words, Oklahoma.
Chicken salad, maybe if her attitude,
oh I'm sorry but I just wanted a chicken salad.
Maybe if her attitude was better
then she would have got a tip,
but I won't be coming back to Perry's for a while.
She left no tip. was better than she would have got a tip, but I won't be coming back to Perry's for a while.
She left no tip.
This woman was mad that there was a young lady flirting with somebody and didn't like
her from the start.
And I'm sure the taco salad could have been rectified.
Say, hey, I didn't order a taco salad.
I ordered a chicken salad.
It's a salad, but I would have taken three minutes.
I'm sorry.
I thought those were the words y'all used.
I was a little distracted trying to catch some dick.
Let me be.
I'm going to eat this taco salad and not leave you a tip.
That's how this is going to work.
Wow.
Kenny, one star.
I was hoping for something different.
It's a diner.
What do you think is going to be different there?
I was hoping for something different and that's what I got.
Then five stars, right?
Not one star. What are we talking about? So they's what I got. Then five stars, right? Not one star.
What are we talking about?
They said what you wanted.
Okay, the food tasted very odd.
Like you should clean your flat grill.
And the fruit cocktail came from a can.
Well that's not good if you order like a fruit salad
and they give you Del Monte fucking,
you know, with the half maraschino cherries in it.
Right.
It's like.
Apple dices.
I like this though.
This person puts it on themselves, kind of.
They said, quote, that made me sad.
Then I should cook.
They affected my mood.
I should cook at home.
We might have put this person on a better track though.
They're like, you know what?
I should really cook at home more.
You know, this is ridiculous.
Better food, I can get what I want. So you got a life-changing experience at this diner. That's five stars right there
I'm sorry. The ladies in the front were nice. That's good. So the hostesses were nice
Lisa gives one star
Until today my dad and I looked forward to coming here every three weeks after his chemo appointments.
You looked for, oh my God.
You put this inside a man with cancer?
He had cancer.
They gave him chemo and then you were like, let's go ahead and just roll back the effects
of everything we've done today.
What do you say?
What the fuck?
And also we look forward to it.
I would think it would be like a bittersweet type of thing.
Like, he has to have, you know,
my dad has to have chemo every three weeks,
which sucks, and I don't look forward to it.
But no, I don't know.
We've enjoyed the coffee, the atmosphere,
the food, et cetera, you know,
everything that makes a restaurant.
But today, my dad ordered his usual
of ham, steak, steak eggs and toast. I
didn't even hear a canned fruit salad in there. The waitress brought a pork
brought a pork chops instead of ham. I guess brought a pork chops is the way
they put this. So they want to express themselves. That seems like a more
expensive meal. Sounds like you got a good deal. So I'd rather have pork chops
and ham by far
Which she brought back to the cook and had it corrected
But then when she finally brought the ham it was over half bone and hardly any meat
We brought it to the waitress's attention and she tried to get the cook to fix him a different one the cook refused
The cook said enough of this fucking guy. I'm gonna pull the chemo needle out of your car. I don't care
I can't take it. I'm cooked to two times. What is this guy? Yeah, I'm not doing it anymore
Jesus poor bastard just wants some ham after his chemo. Imagine that's horrible
We feel we weren't treated fairly with this so we will not be going back there. We are really upset
Yeah, I don't blame you. It's kind of shitty
Pamela here we go. Pamela One
Star. That's probably your last name. Pamela One Star. One word. One star. The restaurant
is delicious. This is a one star review by the way. And me and my boyfriend enjoyed eating
there every breakfast weekend. Not every weekend for breakfast, every breakfast weekend. It's breakfast weekend, baby!
The reason-
Give me breakfast weekend once a month.
Breakfast weekend.
The reason why I give this diner a one star is the staff.
We ate there one morning and I had tears in my eyes
because my mother was sick.
Jesus.
And I've noticed a change in the waitresses
and cashier's demeanor.
Spelled completely wrong, by the way.
Could you imagine, James, that maybe perhaps
somebody being crying in public
was maybe a little off-putting?
My boyfriend, that's what you would imagine, right?
Like, oh, this poor, or maybe, I don't know.
You think, are you okay, would be nice.
As a human being, go, are you okay?
What level of sobbing were you?
That's what I mean.
Were you like makeup running down your face, or did you just seem like maybe you had cried a little while ago?
Yeah, little misty
So she says my boyfriend went to pay and they were being very ugly to him and he didn't know why
Are you starting to see the picture now? Yeah
We went again another weekend for breakfast and the waitress was very rude and brought our breakfast out and my boyfriend had a
hair and his eggs and the creamer was spoiled too
We figured they thought when I was crying about my mother before the waitresses thought my boyfriend was being mean to me
So they misread what was going on with me and judged my boyfriend
Who's now getting spiking his food? Yeah now they're spitting in his food and shit and mom was sick and he's a nice guy
curdled milk that fucking woman beater meanwhile this poor bastard was like oh
your mom's sick you're so let's go out to breakfast you know let's try to get a
nice yeah let's breakfast breakfast Saturday Jesus never go there after a
funeral every man in the joint is getting fucking vizin in his coke this
is awful.
Pissing his coffee.
Jesus that's awful how people get into your business and base it off of an assumption
they had no idea what our conversation was about.
Great food but lol if they misread your life better be prepared for things placed in your
food.
If they misread your life.
Throwing cubies in your eggs.
I love that like it's a waitress' job and any server's job anywhere toread your life. Throwing cubies in your eggs. I love that, like it's a waitress' job, but it's any server's job anywhere to read your
life also.
Don't worry, girl, we'll take care of him.
We gotta fuck this guy, huh?
We've been poisoning him slowly every breakfast weekend.
Bring him back for breakfast weekend, next week we'll got antifreeze.
You come through the summer, he'll drop right dead on you. Don't worry about it.
It's a schedule. It's a schedule. Um,
Ryan one star food was terrible. I have eight there several times.
It was great.
I told my girlfriend about it and said it was excellent.
Got there ordered and it was horrible.
Oh, this guy was like, you gotta come here.
I found the best place and took her there
and it was shitty and he's like,
I swear it was good last time.
Brought his girlfriend while she was in a cast
from a car accident and they're like,
this guy's a real piece of shit.
Oh, it's the worst.
It's the worst when you tell somebody
somewhere is really good and then you take them there
and it's not good that night and you're like, I swear I'm not an idiot.
I swear.
I promise I had great food.
My favorite restaurant isn't terrible.
I'm not a moron.
So he goes on to say, the steak guy, the steak guy almost choked on it.
It was so tough and just nasty.
Her fries were old and cold.
Oh no.
That's not what you want.
You don't want them to rhyme like that.
Just a bad experience.
The next person, I'm not gonna read their fucking name
because it's a political bullshit thing,
so I'm not gonna do that.
One star, food was horrible.
Three exclamation points.
That's really horrible.
Waitress was a gem.
Didn't judge him at all.
He came in alone. But the restaurant was old, filthy.
And I think the food at a homeless shelter would be better. Wow.
But they gave food one out of five atmosphere, one out of five service,
five out of five, baby. At least they brought it with a smile. I mean, Jesus.
And so really varying complaints here, Steven one star. I don't know what was the most disappointing part of my meal.
This is a good way to start.
Let's break it down.
This guy's contemplative, like with his finger on his chin.
This sucked.
This was shit.
This was garbage.
If I had to rank them in terms of nasty order, what would it be?
I don't know what's the most disappointing part of my meal.
The egg shells in my omelet That's that would be disappointing or the burnt beyond crispy hash browns. I'll take that happily give me your hash
Absolutely, you can burn them to cinder and I'll be like perfect
Can't get them too crispy for me
I get the bag of the shredded ones and put them in the airfryer
I put it on 15 minutes and then I go brush my teeth and do my morning and then when that beeps
I know those are fucked minutes and then I go brush my teeth and do my morning. And then when that beeps, I know those are fucked up
and they're good.
Fuck yeah.
The pizza place we go to, mainly over here,
we told them a while back and we go all the time
so they know us now to do it.
We said, well done isn't the word we're looking for here.
When you go, oh, I should throw it out now,
put it in a box and slice it.
Send it to my house.
Send it to my fucking house, it'll be perfect.
And they make it perfect.
You've seen it all the time. They make it perfect every time. Crispy as shit. Stands up on its
own. When you think oh no it's ruined, no it's not. Nope. That's, nah you've done your
job at that point. You got a happy customer waiting for that thing. The waitress was the
only good point of my patronage. So again, bad food, good help.
Desiree, one star.
Okay, it's just been getting worse as the years go by.
My family used to meet up there all the time
and it was amazing, exclamation point, very amazing.
Now it's just going down, down, down, dot, dot, dot.
I guess that's the, you can see it just circling the drain. Great people,
just not so great food anymore. Now there's a reply from the owner. And this is my favorite
thing ever. And the owner, Perry's Restaurant, I'm sorry, I sold the restaurant two years
ago and let the new owner keep the name.
Not my fault.
But I still have control of the Google account,
where I reply to other people's complaints.
I could ruin this real quick.
I'm sorry, I sold it, you know, I don't know what the fuck.
So that's hilarious.
I'm still getting alerts in my Gmail,
so I may as well tell you I didn't do it.
And they give five stars on service and atmosphere
and one star on the food there.
So that said, we got our belly full.
Let's do-
Great hash browns and bad omelets.
And bony ham steaks.
Let's do what our mothers told us never to do
and let's go swimming now right after we ate.
Yeah.
Well, we have some time actually,
because we have to travel all the way to Florida to do this.
Jesus.
We're going to the Devil's Den
prehistoric spring.
And this it's a subterranean natural pool for diving and snorkeling among rock formations,
stalactites, and fossil beds. That might be the greatest thing I've ever heard of. It's pretty fucking cool. Here check it out.
You can roll over your chair. I'll show you the picture. Look at that. Oh my God, are you fucking kidding me?
That's in Florida?
That's in Florida, yeah, it looks dope.
It's in Williston, Florida, wherever the fuck that is.
5390.
That is wasted on Florida.
Jesus, northeast 180th Avenue, Williston, Florida.
And they close at five, apparently.
So.
What?
I don't know, they close, I guess you guys,
it's a daytime thing.
No evenings.
No date night here. Let's see what people think. I guess you guys, it's a daytime thing. No evenings.
No date night here.
Let's see what people think about it.
Five stars.
It's beautiful.
It looks nice.
It looks like a nice place to do your snorkeling and shit.
Sue, five stars.
Absolutely amazing.
Bucket list item for sure.
$18 for snorkeling for 90 minutes.
That's a deal. That seems great. And rental for snorkeling for 90 minutes. That's a deal.
That seems great.
And rental for snorkel gear if needed,
you can bring your own,
but must have fins, snorkel, and a mask.
Sure.
You know, gear.
But you cannot just go, you know, gear.
Snorkel shit.
Snorkel shit.
But you cannot just go swim, reserve,
you cannot just go swim.
So you can't just go dive in with no gear on.
You have to be scuba-ing.
You gotta be looking at shit.
Reserve your spot online ahead of time
for snorkel or scuba only.
So beautiful and fun.
Okay, that's very nice.
That sounds good.
Three stars now.
Let's watch it go down, down, down.
Denise gives it three stars.
Couldn't go into spring without reservation
or scuba and scuba or snorkel.
Three stars.
Response from the owner.
This owner is very responsive and loves confrontation.
This isn't a national park.
You don't get to have an opinion without a retort.
Your tax dollars don't pay for this shit.
If I lose money, it comes out of my pocket.
Fuck you, lady.
That's what this guy says.
Fuck you, Denise.
Three stars, like we said, and couldn't go in without a reservation or scuba snorkels.
A response from the owner is, thank you.
Yes, that is correct.
We are a scuba resort that allows snorkeling.
We don't allow people to come and only swim.
That's great, yeah.
You're bad, is what they say here.
Bryce really has a long one here.
This is all about how it works.
Bryce, one star, so sad to see what this place has become.
Uh-huh.
Okay, not the place itself,
because that's not going to change.
It's amazing.
If you are going to make two people pay a total of $60
to snorkel for an hour and a half,
then there should be some sort of organization.
I guess be organized.
Oh it's wild!
Scheduled the time slot from 9.30 to 11 but when we got into the cave there were people
with wristbands for 10.30 to 1 and about 40 other scuba divers.
Way too crowded to see anything or even move around.
Not sure why there wasn't a staff member standing at the entrance of the cave regulating who goes in and out.
Don't even know why you need a schedule,
why you need to schedule a time slot
because the staff doesn't seem to care who goes in and out
even if you paid or even if you paid.
Snorkeling for 15 minutes and had to leave
because water was too murky and too crowded.
That many people in there, you're gonna get like body stuff.
Yeah.
Upon leaving, the staff,
upon leaving, asked the staff why no one was regulating
the entrance and was told,
if I was paid more than a McDonald's employee,
maybe I would work harder.
That's what they said.
They literally said,
don't get paid enough to care.
That's what it is.
Oh my God. Absolutely disgusted in the experience and if I could give zero stars I would
Absolutely as we know, oh man, I wish we called the show if I could give zero stars that would be why did we call it?
What is wrong with doing? What are we so stupid? We're trying to be clever James
Yeah, we call it something that's like aggressive if you say you're stupid
I'm your me my stupid fuck these two and you don't listen to it is stupid
What the fuck if I could give zero stars you'd go? Oh, that's bad stuff. I want to listen to that. We're morons
We make a great show. We're very good at making the show
Marketing and all that shit.
We're dumb as fuck.
We're so bad at it.
Small town murder, we nailed it.
That's a great name.
Other than that, we really screwed up our everything.
I'm trying to figure out what people... We're trying to be funny and fun.
So private owners should be ashamed and are stealing money with this operation.
Then this person goes on. Part two, following owner's response.
The owner responded. It is unfortunate. You feel like you had a bad experience.
It is also unfortunate to see from the surveillance video that you are that your
unpleasant experience began after you were informed of the rules again,
which you clearly did not agree with.
Even though those rules are on the website,
did you check the website?
Did you check the website?
And you agreed to follow them
when you booked the reservation.
The video also shows you and your girlfriend
entering and enjoying the den for the full amount of time
allotted by reservation.
It seems we received a one-star review
because the rules had to be followed
and someone didn't get their way
So let's
Let's find out the response to that response. I looked up your reservation
I found you on the camera and I listened to every word you said I saw your finger and your girlfriend in the water
I saw it. Okay. I saw it. She jerked you off. Why do you think it's murky in there?
It's murky because of you.
Yeah.
Jizz clouds.
So here's his response to the owner's response.
Oh man.
We got a saga going on and I love it.
Fantastic.
I was informed of the rules that free diving fins were not allowed and after being informed
I handed over both pairs in exchange for two of your quote allowed.
As for the video, I would love to see this video
where we spent our allotted time in the cave
as we entered the cave for approximately 15 minutes.
It was obnoxiously crowded, murky,
and there were people in there
that weren't even part of that time slot.
We left the cave for a duration of time
and gave it one more shot,
but after it was again overcrowded,
with more people with the wrong time slots
then we proceeded to leave after being in the water for a total of five minutes.
Please please post the video because I would love to see how we spent our entire time in the cave.
Funny how you guys didn't respond to the comment of your staff not regulating who goes in the cave.
It's sad that we truly didn't even need to make a time slot or even pay for a pass because it wouldn't have mattered at all.
Totally disgusted with this company and staff there. You guys have ruined this place and your staff is completely rude.
Maybe you should quote, pay them more than a McDonald's employee and they would try harder.
I'm curious if you caught that on your video camera or did you forget to look at that video? Wow. Did he respond?
Nope. That's it. We got it.
Just left it. Damn it.
We left it at that. So we got, that is awesome.
Ellie. I love when the owners respond pissily. That makes, I don't like when they're like,
thank you for your review. Our manager, we're looking at it. That's boring. I like when they're
like, Oh yeah, motherfucker. I remember you
Remember the one that we had like kids that was like a kids painting class
And it was like actually your kid did this and this and that and it was like this is awesome. I love it
This is so fun Ellie gives one star the place is beautiful. Don't get me wrong
The staff was just incredibly rude
They spoke condescendingly to visitors and clearly made fun of visitors
Look at this fat bitch trying to swim
Look at him get under the water. I see you shirt while you swim motherfucker. Yeah, I see it. Look at him. Check it out
Oh my god. Look at her. Oh, look at this one one Oh my god, they're just making fun of people. I would not I mean the whole point is to look under the water, right?
And yes, how long shit under there? How long can you do that for?
I guess 90 minutes is what you're allowed to do it for how long you want to do it
Yeah, how long can I physically do it?
And want to keep going. Yeah
I physically do it. And want to keep going?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Seems like 90 minutes is plenty.
That might be torture eventually, right?
45 minutes is all you need.
You're gonna be like, all right, I'm done.
I would not recommend.
There are other springs with better experiences.
We got a response from the owner.
Fantastic.
Here we go.
We are certainly glad you think the den is beautiful.
I love how they start with something.
We're gonna agree with you first and then left hook.
Please reach out to me concerning the comment about staff.
I will pull security video once I have more information
from you to identify the problem.
I don't like that they're looking at people
with cameras and shit.
I understand it's water and it's nice to have like,
if somebody drowns or something,
you gotta have some proof of footage of that.
Some proof of why it happened, yeah.
But I don't like this, like, don't worry, I'll look it up.
Don't worry, I'll find ya.
It's a weird thing to say.
I'm gonna see you in your slimsuit.
Jessica One Star, what they don't tell you on the website
is you can't even see the cave unless you're snorkeling.
Hey, look at it.
They offer a walk around the top of the cave for $7,
but it was informed that we probably wouldn't be able
to see anything because the vines have grown up.
The lady at the desk was very rude.
We drove three hours to be turned away.
Oh my God.
You drove three hours to look at it?
Why did you do that?
Grab some fins and hop in, sweetheart.
What are we talking about here? Get in. You're never more than three, hours to look at it? Why did you do that? Grab some fins and hop in, sweetheart. What
are we talking about here? Get in. You're never more than three, you're never three
hours from the water in Florida. No, you had to drive here. Response from the owner. We
do offer a general admission entrance option for those not wishing to scuba dive or snorkel.
We also escort people down to see the den when safety allows us to do so. If the park
is full, we cannot safely let people walk down in the den.
Please call me if you would like to let me know about the person you mentioned as being
rude.
That is unacceptable and will not be tolerated by management."
I'll kick his ass right out of here.
I'm trying to talk about his wages.
I don't give a fuck.
Yeah, McDonald's guy.
He works at McDonald's now.
Let me tell you something.
You want to make some McMuffins?
Get the fuck out of here.
Next we got some diver-snorkeler rivalry here, which is hilarious.
This is like going to a skate park and having a fucking roller blader.
Oh, the divers hate the...
Yeah, having a roller blader being like, all the skateboarders called us pussies and threw
things at us.
That's what this is.
All the snowboarders threw snowball, man.
Yeah, up at the skiers. All the snowboarders threw snowballs at us.
Jeffrey one star, divers were hostile towards snorkelers, because they're trying to dive
while people are snorkeling.
Shouting and barking orders at them, yelling, make room on the platform, stop taking pictures,
divers have the right of way, etc.
Shouldn't you be under the water, motherfucker?
What are you doing?
Yeah, snorkel around there.
When asked for partial refund due to negative experience, management instead condoned the
divers behavior, stating that it was acceptable if it was in response to snorkelers breaking
the rules and procedure.
Yeah, get the fuck away from the bottom of the diving shit.
Scoobas, they're much more badass than you.
Yeah, they're going under the water.
You're being a punk ass.
You're staying over the top top coming back up for breath.
Pussy needs to breathe on the water, on top of the water, like a fucking mammal.
While the cave feature is cool, I do not recommend snorkeling here since it's clear that divers have free reign to scream at snorkelers with no consequence.
No response from the owner then.
They shouldn't be able to scream. They should be so deep, screaming's impossible.
That's what I mean.
How can I hear you?
I'm underwater.
Right.
Paris gives it one star.
She's got a lot of reviews this Paris.
Was very excited for this experience, seeing it all over TikTok and Instagram.
Oh no.
Whenever people say that, it starts, that's, you've seen it.
It's a piece of shit after that.
You've seen the best five angles of the place that you have to offer where a person tried to,
whether they had fun or not, they pretended like they did because their life is perfect and that's
part of what they're doing. But this place is only picture worthy. Staff was not nice,
water was so uncomfortably freezing that we
ended up barely being in for 30 minutes and spent the rest of our time in the
hot showers. It's Florida. I would welcome that. I can't stand the fucking heat.
Get a wetsuit and fucking scuba like an adult. Yeah, get in there. Not worth it.
Scuba diving might have been better but snorkeling you can't see anything in
the water unless you are aware the sun is shining.
Nothing nice to see.
A few fish and a turtle.
Just...
What?
Nothing nice.
Look at the picture she shares of nothing to see here.
It's fucking amazing.
What?
Divine's got the sun coming in with the rocks overhead.
That's incredible.
Nothing to see here.
Move on
Fuck do you want? What do you want?
What do you want? She wanted Jamaica in Florida and yes for $18. Sorry lady dollars in
Williamson, Florida wherever the hell this is Williston, Florida or some shit
Maria gives one star and the owner has a great response.
This is awesome.
Very angry staff.
They only see money.
That's the first sentence.
We drove for six hours, brought a sick child.
Why the fuck are you bringing sick people anywhere?
Do they mean like a child with like, you know.
Something that, yeah.
Yeah, like a sick child.
Yeah, like, well not for too much longer, but for his whole forever. Anyway, for a little Billy's
whole forever, he's going to be sick and then sick till the end kind of thing. Yeah. Like
maybe it's, I thought you bring you in my head. I pictured like a sniffily kid with,
yeah, not coming out of his nose. Yeah. So you drove six hours for this. Isn't there
a hospital closer than six hours to your house?
Go get this kid well.
Go get him fixed.
Brought a sick child and they didn't let us in.
In a very rude elderly man with white stubble.
The child cried and got scared and we left with a heavy heart.
A total of 12 hours of driving and a heavy heart for a month.
Oh, God.
Jesus, so I'm picturing like a kid walking out with his like, one of those like wheeling
the IVs next to him like he's in a hospital like sad now.
Yeah.
Talking about, I hope the cancer doesn't come back before we can do something fun.
This is sad.
Response from the owner and it is 10 times longer than review.
It's awesome.
My God.
Here we go.
Thank you, they start out with.
Now let's tell the whole story, shall we?
Let's tell the whole story.
Shall we?
That's amazing. You and your family failed to make reservations? That's amazing.
You and your family failed to make reservations.
That's bad, yeah.
Your advisor reservation was required and unfortunately we were fully booked for the
day.
They did make it sound like they saw we had a sick kid and were like, get your fucking
sad sick kid out of here.
It depresses people.
What is this, a make a wish?
Leave.
Yeah, leave.
Let's go. It's make a wish? Leave. Yeah, leave. Let's go.
It's make a wish day is Sunday, not fucking Saturday.
You were advised fully booked for the day, but the staff informed you that you could
be on standby status in case another guest did not come for their scheduled reservation
and would let you take that spot.
However, that wasn't good for you.
Instead, that wasn't good for you.
Instead, you and your family decided to illegally enter
the property and hide your vehicle from staff.
What?
What, they put like tree branches over it and shit?
That's what I picture.
Military charm.
Yeah, like tree branches and some leaves on it and shit.
Hides your car.
Whatever Stephen Avery put that broad's car in the fucking,
you know.
In the junkyard Theresa Halstead
The piece of sheet metal over it
Yeah, yeah, like that, tried to hide it, that's what I picture
Holy shit, illegal, that's amazing
Okay, farm staff then sneaked across the property from your hidden vehicle, sneaked and hidden
to illegally gain entrance into the den
This sounds like a military operation.
Yeah, guy holding up two fingers and then a fist
and then everybody goes.
This is awesome.
You did not pay the snorkeling fee, the scuba diving fee,
the general admission and entrance fee,
or even complete a waiver to be on the property.
When you were discovered and escorted out of the den,
you found it humorous.
They thought it was fun.
That doesn't sound like a heavy heart.
It's pretty fucking funny.
Yeah, you're right.
You were...
Heavy heart.
Kid's not that fucking sick
if he can sneak an army crawl.
No, he's got to be belly crawled
all the way across the parking lot.
He had rocks and broken glass on his skin.
On his hair, he's rolling.
Oh my God, ninja rolling out of it.
But then, one consideration, when law enforcement was contacted for theft of services and criminal
trespass.
Wow.
There was no sick child.
Your kid was fine. There was no sick child. Not even kidding. Your kid was fine.
There was no sick child.
No one cried and no one was angry.
People do get stern when dealing with criminals.
All events would have been avoided had you simply followed the rules like everyone else.
Criminals.
That was awesome.
No sick child.
We called the cops.
Completely different story from what you had here.
Sick kid doesn't exist.
Sick kid, fucking figment of your sick imagination.
You're the sick kid.
Oh my God, that is fucking amazing.
I love this one.
This is fantastic.
And then Shannon, one star,
who the fuck pays for something sight unseen?
Sight unseen, ignorant people and the owner of this place is just that.
She expects people to.
Yeah, I don't know, but I love it.
I love when they come out hot like,
like you like you witness the whole confrontation
and now they're telling you they're like, can you believe this bitch?
Like we weren't there. So you gotta have some context. We don't know what happened
Then the she's ignorant she expects people to pay quite a lot of money to scuba dive in a place
I'm not able to view before I plan a whole day there
Shaking my head won't ever go back and I'm probably going to badmouth this woman
till this place has new owners.
Till the end of time I suppose.
A forever disease.
That's a great way to start.
Who the fuck pays?
There's some real long ones on here too.
People really they wow they go off on.
Oh yeah they're talking, people saying
that we were told we're not welcome in this country. All this shit just because of the
way they were acting, because of the way they were acting, not even because of what they
were. It's just like nobody, you're what's wrong with this country, you people and whoever
you are. Robert gives one star. Not very friendly, plus you cannot pay to just go down for a few pictures.
Right.
Okay, that seems like- Who the fuck pays
to sight unseen, James?
Sight unseen!
I'm gonna take pictures, I don't even know if it's pretty.
So the response from the owner is like,
that's a line and a half long thing.
The response from the owner is like a dozen lines,
which is hilarious. What?
The response from the owner,
who did you speak with that was not friendly? Did you ask to speak with the manager? Please email me at I won't give the email
So I can pull the video so I can pull the video
We are a scuba diving resort that allows snorkeling by reservation
We also have a general admission option if someone does not wish to scuba dive or snorkel
We do not allow swimming in the den as you were informed by the staff
We can escort you down for a photo when traffic from the scuba divers and snorkels
allows it to be done safely.
You fucking lying bastard is what they're saying there.
Okay, this person here, one star,
$53 to swim in a glorified pool.
It's not, it's not a glorified pool.
It's pretty awesome.
Glorified, there's fucking travertine walls, man.
Didn't see more than a handful of fish and a turtle.
Must be the same fish and turtle.
There's only five fish and a turtle in this whole joint.
I wonder if they're even real or if they're just like a Disney ride.
Like weebays that he had in his jail cell that the guy dumped on the ground.
Fake fish.
The staff is incompetent and the heavy woman at the front desk takes her job way too seriously.
She also takes lunch way too seriously, but that's a separate complaint.
You might be the owner man, take it easy.
Walking around patrolling the place and scolding everyone loud for doing simple things like
holding their masks, meaning scuba masks, diving masks.
The place shouldn't sell the experience for snorkelers.
They give priority to the scuba divers and in turn, it gives them this self-righteous
attitude where they're annoyed with you for being there.
Terrible experience.
I wish I could get my money back and the two hours it took to drive there.
Don't these people know what scuba resort that allows snorkeling means? It means
that we're fucking tolerating that because it helps pay for this place. That's all that
is. It's a scuba place. Scuba people are dicks. Don't be around scuba people. Yeah, they're
real, they're dicks. They are. It's an insular community and they're assholes. They're like
comedians. They're dickheads. If you come from the outside, they'll look at you like,
who the fuck
Are you approaching our group leave us alone? Oh my god
Don't be on any body of water near a boat that is that has snorkelers down
They will fucking lose their minds about absolutely all right if it's so fucking dangerous for me to be around here on a boat
Maybe don't be in the fucking water you idiot. You could fucking work with how about that?
Put up a flag. Let me know somebody's in the fucking water, you idiot. That's something you can fucking work with. How about that?
Put up a flag.
Let me know somebody's in the water.
Otherwise, fuck off.
What do you want me to do?
Get a new hobby, you fucking douche.
Jesus, they are douches.
They really are.
We've had a nice meal.
We've snorkeled.
We've seen a few fish and a turtle.
Scuba assholes.
Let's deal with our personal item of the week now, everybody. Let's do this. You know what we need to do Jimmy
What is that? I've been feeling a little uncomfortable about one particular part of myself. Let's bleach our assholes. What do you say?
I'm so tired of this thing not being brand new anymore. Let's do it. Let's do it
That's what I mean
I want to be shiny and sparkly and new now first of all
There's a doctor with a bunch of reviews of like this guy bleached my asshole perfectly
Amazing his fucking website hilarious because he has like stock, you know
The stock photos they take of like people and it says like why bleach your asshole basically and it says
rejuvenation of your anus can do all this
Talking about why you should bleach your asshole and the picture next to it is a nurse a smiling nurse
Holding the hand of an 85 year old lady who's sitting in a chair smiling
Apparently about to get I'm supposed to believe she's there for a nice fucking wholesome asshole bleaching or at least a tingly asshole
Yeah, just had it done. But they didn't have enough
reviews so we had to go to the home product here. Oh, alright. And here it is, here's the bottle,
it's called booty bleach. Lightning gel for intimate areas. I love that the two O's in booty are
the man and woman. So it's for everybody. Whatever your asshole desires. The asshole is the non-gender piece of everybody.
You know what?
Everybody has an asshole.
We can argue about anything else, but you know what everybody is born with?
An asshole.
Hopefully.
Otherwise they're in a lot of trouble.
And you know what else is specific about that?
It's going to go brown one day.
Yeah, assholes and opinions.
That's what they say, and we have both in this particular segment.
Booty bleach, bleach lightning gel for intimate
areas such as anus vaginal skin nipples vagina penis and scrotum.
That's a great point because this has been going brown for years.
People get dark ball bags man it's weird.
It's only 1595 and this it says only two left in stock order soon. So get in there everybody
And everybody says it's small though. It's put half an ounce. So they say I wish I had more
1595 it's unscented It's a gel and it says booty bleach is the newest intimate area bleaching product on the market today
Your purchase includes a half ounce airless pump bottle of booty bleach
lightens unattractive skin on and around intimate areas such as anus, vaginal skin, nipples,
vagina, penis and scrotum.
All of our products are made and manufactured in the USA.
That's right.
And I'm proud to have a bleached asshole because at least I know I'm free.
I know I'm free.
I'm proud to be an American. Where the assholes shine and gleam, I don't know.
Where the assholes shine and gleam.
This is crazy.
And I proudly bend over.
Show it to you. Show them a butthole.
And you'll see it's all nice and sparkly.
This is crazy.
You can count the wrinkles.
It'll blind you though.
It's so shiny.
And it says your privacy is protected.
Booty bleach is shipped in a brown package with a return address only.
Don't worry.
Why does it come in a brown package?
It does not contain hydroquinone, alcohol, fragrances, synthetic dyes, paraben free, gluten, soy, corn or mercury, sulfates,
petrochemicals, a whole list of shit.
No GMOs either, so go ahead and eat it.
You're going to be great.
Five stars from Jake.
Jake's got a nice light butthole now.
Let There Be Light is the title of his thing.
Let's be honest.
You found yourself reading
booty bleach reviews for a reason.
Probably not the same reason I found myself reading.
I bet I'm the only person on the entire internet.
Is this one of the people that make the podcast?
That read this shit for this reason.
Mine was to get lighter, closer to my skin tone,
even pinkish in one spot if possible.
In one spot, then dot dot dot, yeah we know yeah we get it I didn't have high hopes after
similar products didn't do anything but maybe leave me moisturized okay you don't
want a moist asshole too bad that's not weird it's kind of weird before losing
your attention booty bleach works beyond expectation.
Quick and painless, awesome results,
especially if you apply twice daily.
Golly.
You gotta have a lot of time.
If only before and after photos were acceptable here.
They're not on this website,
but they are on another one and I have some.
I have before and after asshole photos for you, Jimmy.
I have them, I swear to God.
I swear. Starting off, I'll just show
you one particular because it's like very graphic where you're like you put that on
the internet? That's wild. Starting off, I had shaving and friction related dark areas
in the back crack and one specific spot. Always begin with clean skin. One pump covered the
entire target area and
I rubbed the gel cream until fully or almost absorbed as direct. I just rubbed my asshole
for 10 minutes. After a few seconds there's a kind of cooling or refreshing sensation
which I like but absolutely no burn or irritation or strong odor. Not greasy at all.
Okay.
Then he's got a timeline.
Oh boy.
Day three, is it the lighting?
Is it the lighting or is it the lightening?
Uh-huh.
Is it the bulb or is it this stuff working?
Day five, I don't think it's the lighting.
Like is it the lighting or is this working?
Day seven, it's definitely lightening.
Start twice daily.
Day 10, so far so good,
no side effects from twice daily. Day 14, unquestionably lighter and the not so dark
spots nearing skin tone. Day 18, pinkness may actually be a possibility. I'm Jake and
I have a nice pink asshole. What do you think of that?
Three weeks, twice daily. Pink asshole.
That's the motto of this product.
I can't believe this stuff.
A little goes a long way.
Definitely continuing use.
Backing down to one application before bed for maintenance.
God, Jesus.
Wow.
Stop your skin bleach search, get this one.
All right.
I'm not opposed to this kind of thing.
Go ahead.
I don't understand.
If it doesn't have a stupid fucking name like booty bleach.
Booty bleach, that's the problem.
It doesn't sound medical if it's booty bleach.
No, right.
It sounds like a 14-year-old's makeup.
You know what I mean?
It sounds like something somebody makes in their fucking garage.
Lipsmacker or some shit.
That too.
Want some booty bleach?
You want some pills and some booty bleach?
I got Xanax and booty bleach.
Which do you want?
I make it out of ether and startin' fluid.
It's pretty good.
It's kind of like the stuff that I don't use for meth.
Like the extra stuff.
I just make booty bleach out of it.
It works just the same.
B gives it five stars.
Surprised at how well it works.
Wasn't expecting too much based on the reviews I had read, but wow, I started using it and
didn't tell my boyfriend and he actually made a comment about how nice my asshole looked.
Wasn't that nice of a comment?
Hey man, I didn't realize this, but man your asshole's looking great.
You know when I was hitting it from behind I thought I was fucking somebody else.
Wow this is really bad.
Look at that pink star.
Your bundle is coming right back to life.
It's a little tingly going on but comparing it to Icy Hot is definitely inaccurate.
I would hope it doesn't feel.
Somebody could.
Why would you put Icy Hot on your asshole?
Those are in the one stars, obviously.
I can use it two to three times
and clearly see the difference, daily by the way.
I can use it for two to three days
and clearly see the difference.
Highly recommend.
Okay.
Four stars for Ahi, like the tuna.
Yeah.
After one week and a few days of use, is the title.
I've been using this every day for a week
and it seems to have lightened my intimate
area one shade so far.
The bottle's a little more than halfway gone.
It should last me about one more week.
My area was already pretty dark so it still isn't super light, but I'm surprised to see
that there is a visible difference.
For me there was little to no irritation, but that will depend on your skin type, so take
note and be cautious of how it affects
you. As an added benefit my skin feels a bit smoother from the daily application. Overall I'm happy
that I got even small results because I wasn't expecting to notice any difference. Anything is
better than my starting point. I recommend you give it a try. Yeah, who knows? It might even get the wrinkles out of it, fuck.
You can have a smoothed out fucking...
Smoothed stink star.
I'm telling you, it's gonna be like a showcase asshole, really.
Like you can...
It's like a model asshole for other assholes.
Like a tight cake donut.
Yeah, real nice.
But you know, one of those tight ones,
you're getting more donut for your dollar.
You know what I'm talking about
Sarah four stars. It's a nice product. I see a little change in two weeks. It's a nice product I mean my skin my skin be more bright my skin be more bright
But it's a small product one bottle for two weeks
Okay, fucking weeks you gotta put two weeks your asshole. Two weeks. Yeah, that is
uh, wow. Okay, two stars created extreme irritation for Missy here, is her title. I used this
bleach in the area, the product, in the product title. I put it on my ass, is what she said.
That's a lot of words. At first it was okay, and I was excited to see some results. Imagine
just constantly looking in the mirror to check your ass all standing over one.
Jesus shortly after the bleach shortly after the bleach created extreme irritation in that
area.
It was so bad it was waking me up in the middle of the night from extreme itchiness.
The itching has become nonstop and I'm constantly feeling the need to scratch this area which
obviously creates an issue in daily life
Yeah, you're the chick at work who's scratch her finger up her ass the whole time
They're hoping it's a sexual thing and not just
You didn't watch good enough the bleach also
Created such irritation this hole formed a crust around it this whole meaning your asshole
It has to be the asshole right there's no other hole that she's talking about her ass this hole
It's all crusty. It's all crusty. Well, obviously I can't see it up closely
So I'm not sure if it burned the skin or made a scab. It's horrible. Ask her
Yeah, you gotta get a good's horrible. Ask a friend. Yeah, you got a good friend?
Like a real good friend?
I really want to continue to give this cream a chance
as I think it may have been working,
but I'm in recovery mode trying to get the itching
to subside.
It's been about two weeks since I last used it
and the itching is still there.
Oh my God!
Two weeks.
Frightening.
Constantly digging in her asshole for two weeks.
Two weeks of butthole itch.
Man, here is T, one star, didn't notice a difference.
No.
Is the title.
Stay put.
Used for a week and I haven't noticed a change yet
and it's already halfway gone,
meaning the cream, not her asshole.
Just to clarify, I don't know if you have to keep using
and then you start seeing a difference, we'll see. Yeah, like most things know if you have to keep using and then you start seeing a
difference.
We'll see.
Yeah, like most things, you probably have to use it.
Don't just stop and then...
If it says two weeks supply, try it for the two weeks and then check your asshole.
Next up, one star Amazon customer, they didn't leave their name, unfortunately.
Buyer Beware Not Vegan.
Oh.
You know why it's not vegan?
Check this out.
Why?
I was surprised to see this product contained emu oil
when I received it.
What? Emu oil?
Is that a thing?
You can rub your asshole on an emu
and it'll get whiter?
Apparently, if you squeeze an emu until juice comes out,
you'll make your asshole light. And that's their whole review. That's it. Emu until juice comes out you girl. It'll make your asshole
Like and that's their whole review. That's it. I've never heard of emu oil I didn't know Tiffany one star does not work
Don't waste your money and the bottle so small that it lasted for six days. How big is your asshole?
She must be huge she's squirting it up. Just
like a half empty mustard bottle just
Shaking it shaking it to get a little bad and with some water to it
It's detergent dish soap diluting the emu oil
This is next one is perplexing one star from Juanita waste of money
use on right nipple only
Waste of money used on right nipple only. Okay, only right ones dark?
Yeah, they wanted to have a little change of pace here, I guess.
Used as directed and no difference whatsoever.
Okay, now there is another product that's for the booty bleach.
Then there's another product, Muesli treatment.
Muesli is the name of the thing and this is called the private cream
They have like this cream that cream for all different parts of your body. Then there's the private cream
topical dark spot treatment for intimate areas a
little more
Medically look medical looking it's not like yeah booty bleach stick it on have somebody put it in your asshole. This is like
It's like a person's name that yeah created this formula, so I expected the reviews to be tame
Yeah, and the doctor prescribed this
Well, here's the first one five stars and some two days ago from Erin
Wow, this stuff worked the skin around my anus got really dark
after I had kids. I think they came out of the wrong place lady. And I was self-conscious about
it in intimate situations. Why? Have you ever looked at a girl's asshole and been like I'm out
I'm out. No I don't care what the fucking color your asshole is. Are you kidding me?
I have used muesli private cream for 54 days and the results are incredible. Would 100% recommend to anyone and
Slide over there's proof right here
There's her two pictures of her asshole side by side
And there it's pretty dark and there it's very light. I mean it's lightened it up so you can't even tell it's an asshole anymore.
She put a cat there James in case you didn't know that her pussy's down there.
To cover her pussy. Cause it's basically like from like halfway up the thighs and up to
the top of the ass.
It's so much, so much ass.
And how does-
And how does-
That's crazy. It doesn't even appear that she's spreading that thing.
It's just open like that?
No, it's just wide open.
Yeah, maybe it's like from this front side, pulling on the hips or something.
That is fascinating.
Her asshole is on a plate for us all to see.
It's pretty good in pink though.
But it's a lot- It's gotten really nice.
The pink area goes like real wide.
Now it looks- her asshole looks bigger now.
Yeah.
It looks like a bigger asshole.
The darker asshole is slim.
The diameter, yeah the diameter is, it adds weight.
It adds 10 pounds.
You got a fat asshole now.
Lady, you got a white asshole here.
I mean we wouldn't be making fun of it,
but she put a picture of her asshole
on the internet side by side.
You didn't have to show me.
And saying like, look at my asshole.
Look at how great this is.
Yeah.
Next up is T Tarrera Tarrera from eight hours ago.
So before this it's probably about 12 hours from right now.
Let's just put this up.
So I'm glad we didn't look at it for a few days ago because I would have
missed a lot.
This stuff is absolutely incredible.
Five stars.
It's the miracle treatment I'd spent years and hundreds of dollars looking for.
This is her white whale, a pink asshole.
My white whale's a pink butthole, let me tell you.
Her white whale's and their albatross was that dark.
Within 30 days of use, the dark skin that had developed around my anus slash genitalia
after having children apparently, that's a thing, had already lightened so much that
I could tell a noticeable difference.
In 45 days of treatment, the skin has actually lightened to a shade even closer to my normal
skin tone and the rest of my body than I can ever recall it looking before.
Her asshole is better than ever now, literally. It's absolutely unbelievable the results I'm seeing. Well, I'm not shy.
Take a look for yourself. Would you like to? Before and after. There's one. And it's a
close up of her asshole. And then here is two where you can see You can see I mean she's not shy
There's before I mean we're talking this is like ultra close-up of her asshole and half of her vagina
You can see every I could count the wrinkles like rings on a tree look
She's one two three four five looks
I think she's 33 years old if I count the wrinkles
on her asshole.
And you can count them because it's that close of a picture.
There's a thumb in the picture.
There's a thumb too.
Yeah, she's spreading her asshole out.
You can see her pulling it.
Truly, it worked.
Holy hell.
It really did work.
Her asshole is completely normal skin tone
rather than what it looks like.
She took a picture of one of those
Separated ass toys. Yeah, it looks fake. It's great. It's a showcase asshole right now. It's really is
It's a showpiece. It's a model. It's not bad either from being
Good for it's not it's great. Good for you lady. I didn't expect this to do when I'm doing this show
But you know what this is great
They're just showing us their loins. Okay, so here we go. We've done some snorkeling. We've got a good meal
Our assholes are pink impeccable impeccable
Showcases ready assholes, so you know what I'm feeling lucky. Are you feeling lucky?
How do we not people are gonna be impressed with this based on my asshole confidence alone. I'm feeling so lucky
Let's go to the casino. What do you say?
Mohegan Sun, oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Here we go. It's a big one in Connecticut. Very big
Popular for comedians. They get a great comic line up there.
There's, they talk about one of them in here.
Oh, shit.
Not about the comedian, but they say the person's name wrong
and it makes it hilarious.
And I will never not call him this ever again,
because it's fucking funny.
There's nothing worse than somebody comes to your show
and then still doesn't know your name.
You sat and listened to this person for an hour or more. This person bought tickets too, like specially which is even better
They had to go to blanketyblank.com to get the tickets and they didn't okay email about this person fuck
Yeah, four point five stars out of forty thousand six hundred seventy three reviews on Google
So this place has been well visited
73 reviews on Google so this place has been well visited. It has a this is where the Connecticut Boxing Hall of Fame is also. Is that right? Yeah it's in one
Mohegan Sun Boulevard in what is that Uncasville Connecticut. I guess. Okay well
some people love it. Some people it is like this is like New York's casino you
know what I mean? Yeah it's a big big deal yeah five stars from Lindsay it's always a good time at Mohegan Sun which is
probably their catchphrase at the end of a commercial I would assume yes the
rooms are expensive but it's worth it to be able to just take an elevator
upstairs at the end of the night and come down in the morning and grab a
delicious breakfast or coffee okay the last time we went we saw a show
which was very good.
We've seen a lot of different musicians
and comedians and magicians, oh Christ,
and all sorts of great shows at Mohegan.
It's always a better night when you win.
Unfortunately, we broke out even on this last trip.
Unfortunately, you went to a casino for a weekend,
came out even, you win.
Unfortunately.
You won.
That's crazy, but that's okay. We had a ton of fun even you win. Unfortunately. You won. That's crazy. But
that's okay. We had a ton of fun. The restaurants are awesome. Most recently we died. Yes, died,
not dined. I assume they mean dined, but we died at the Michael Jordan restaurant steakhouse
and everything was fantastic. Well, that's good. You're dying went well. You can't get
a better steak than
what you get at Michael Jordan's Steakhouse. That's probably not true.
Yeah, I don't believe that for a second.
And oh my goodness, the apps and the sides are all delicious. We took my parents to celebrate
a special occasion and once they took care of us, okay.
Delicious drinks.
Oh, once they bought it of us okay delicious drinks once I guess once they took yeah
delicious drinks great table games great shows wonderful food and a very lovely
spacious comfortable hotel room oh and the air conditioning in the hotel rooms
work great okay they why wouldn't they if they don't oh and the toilets flush
perfectly I mean it will press the button your shit goes away. It's amazing
Okay
Delicious. Oh, yeah hotel room. Oh in the air conditioning. That is always something we look for when searching for a great hotel
I highly recommend you play in your next event or day or your play
I mean think they mean plan by the way
But they say play your next event or date night or family get together if family can bring the kids bring the kids
At Mohegan Sun.
Okay, five stars, or not one star now,
let's go to one star.
Prodigy gives one star.
So they are mad at him for starting fires there,
so that's fair, that's fair.
And he smacked his bitch up.
And he smacked his bitch up all over the casino floor,
set the place aflame, what do you want?
That's Romstein?
That's the fire starter nevermind. Yeah, not prodigy. No, I think I'm pretty sure it's prodigy. I think you're right
I think I had it right the first time. Yeah, good. All right. Good. My instincts were on. Okay
I think Romstein only has one popular song that everybody knows outside of that. It's all
Underground ish the one about yelling in German about murder, right? Yeah
That's every sign I think so
One star you will not win a dime here in all caps
Probably not that's like someone saying you're gonna die here. Welcome to the jungle, baby
That's all don't say nobody warned you don't say don't say it. I did it
I've got a lot of friends that have banned themselves from this place because...
Banned themselves.
You got a lot of degenerate friends?
I can't go there anymore.
I had to ban myself.
I keep losing.
From this place because in all caps, it's not a casino.
What is it?
That's weird.
It says it right on the sign outside, so interesting.
We get casino games It's a bunch of Indians who set up their machines at zero payback and pocket all caps everything
Okay, calm down
Then they head back to their wig woms and their fucking teepees and smoke their peace pipes dance around the fire with my fucking money
Burning it up all my wall. How are you talking about?
Yeah, my fathoms of wampum, as we found out from Small Town Murder.
If you go here, enough you see the same people getting hand pays they work for Mohegan.
They're paid to pump fake money into machines to give the impression they occasionally pay.
They have a whole casino conspiracy theory.
We caught them multiple times and they walk away from their jackpot.
LMFAO. Mohegan thinks they're smart, but they're not. Don't go to this place. Avoid both Indian
casinos. They have their own gaming commission, so it's essentially legal for them to set
their machines as low as they do. Scumbags. Wow. Who's the scumbag? You took your kid's money. You took your kid's college one
to the casino and you lost it. You're the scumbag. It sounds like you have like a circle
of like just degenerate gambler friends and all you do is gamble. No, you don't hang out
with anybody that's not a piece of shit. No, either that or they're elderly. That's the
thing too. Like they go from homes on buses to casinos.
I remember that's my grandmother's
to go to Atlantic City.
Yeah, they go down there.
Anthony gives one star.
Anthony, what you got to say for yourself?
Oh, well, he's interesting.
Quote, some Asian woman took my chips during roulette.
I couldn't tell which one,
cause they all look alike.
You know what I'm talking about?
That's why I got no description.
No.
Um, requested they look at the footage and got denied.
Had police show up and they said footage was lost.
Oh, it's already deleted.
Wow.
The place is ridiculous and so overpriced.
Even had a pit boss pissed off at me winning and yelled and cussed at me for no reason.
This place is awful. Yeah. Like Michael Keaton in the movie Night Shift going. pit boss pissed off at me winning and yelled and cussed at me for no reason.
This place is awful.
Yeah.
Like Michael Keaton in the movie Night Shift going, so they barred me for being too good
a player.
They started dealing me off the bottom of the deck.
I could tell when they're doing that.
So I threw my water down drink right in the pit boss's fat face.
And so they barred me for being too good a player.
So it sounds like here is Beauty is Skin Deep, one star.
This place was disrespectful toward myself
and a friend of mine.
Yeah.
I'm sticking up for them mainly,
I feel like they're saying here.
My friend had a little too much to drink.
Hammered.
And they kicked your ham-dogged fucking friend out
and said, you go with him if it's such a big deal Take your mistake with you, and I was helping him become more aware
In other words, I was fucking helping him walk through the casino or her. I was talking them into being sober
Wow instead of the bartender just cutting us off
They had to send an entire cavalry to inform us.
Really?
Like we were criminals.
They also had the nerve to take a photo of us and inform the entire casino, and inform
the entire casino, treating us like trash.
I would never go there again.
You're probably not welcome to.
That's why they took a picture of you, stupid.
I don't think you had a choice.
Your picture is up next to the camera so that when the security guards see it, they come
get you and remind you of how much of a piece of shit you are when you drink too much.
Oh, that's right.
I'm a moron.
Michael, one star, have been to the casino many times for shows and or gambling.
Well, what else would you go there for?
Just the fucking atmosphere.
Just to watch?
I don't know.
Smoke indoors?
Yeah, that's always fun.
Could not have been more disappointed
in how long it took to get into the show.
For an 8 p.m. show, the line was hundreds of people
long at 7 p.m.
Yeah, it's a comedy club, they all do that.
Remember Stand Up Live?
What time is the show?
An 8 p.m. show, they had hundreds of people
long line at 7 p.m.
So 7's probably when the doors open.
The doors open probably 7, maybe 7.30.
That's why everyone's lined up.
You all stand outside.
Remember Stand Up Live?
Now that wasn't every show we fucking do outside of a theater.
It's the same thing.
The line goes, we'll show up two hours early
and there's already people out there.
There's not a second lobby that holds the entire showroom.
That's how they do it.
At 7.45, we stood in line facing away from the arena
as we witnessed, as we waited for it to snake
halfway around the casino, then the back.
Waited 45 minutes and missed both opening acts.
That's probably not much of a loss anyway.
Or maybe it is actually, because we don't know who we saw.
Have tickets for the upcoming Burt Chrysler show.
Are you ever going to say Burt Chrysler again for the rest of your life or is he Burt Chrysler
from now on?
That's the inside joke that they call him Burt Chrysler.
Well he's Burt Chrysler now.
That's pretty funny.
And they were dead serious just letting, they just let fucking autocorrect take
over their life and I'm gonna sell them and cancel my room again very
disappointed now he's fine run around with his shirt off yelling about nothing
he's able to take nine months off yeah he can kiss my dick. How much fucking money do you have Bert?
Fuck you Bert Kreisler.
I can not work for nine fucking months.
Oh God.
Oh my God.
Oh man.
Lilia, one out of five stars here, stayed one night in Sky Tower Hotel as part of a
package room and concert.
Room was very comfy and clean and all would be wonderful if not for a scam they're running with their refreshments
in the mini bar drawer, quote unquote.
Oh, expensive mini bar.
Have you never stayed in a hotel?
That's the racket, man.
Yep, so apparently that drawer is weight sensitive,
but no warning of that.
So the minute you pick up a mini bottle of alcohol
or small box of chocolates to look at,
it senses that it's gone and charges you for that.
Yeah. It's every place. You touched it, that's that it's gone and charges you for that. Yeah.
It's every place.
Touched it.
That's yours.
Does not matter if you put it right back and the whole weight is back in the drawer.
Well, that's because you could replace it with something that weighs.
You could Indiana Jones that shit and then you're in trouble at that point.
You can buy your eight ounce Raisinets and then go down to CVS and buy one for 89 cents
and replenish it.
That's fine.
Yeah, right there.
They count on you for not seeing the invoice at checkout and just paying extra charges.
My mistake for doing online checkout instead of front desk.
Next day when I got email detailing invoice, I saw three extra charges for quote touched
items.
I had to call and explain we only looked at them and did not consume anything and got
a full refund.
Also, most hotels will say that too.
Still all this could have been avoided if they placed a note in the mini bar warning
about do not touch anything.
They wouldn't sell very much if it said don't touch it.
I spoke to customer relations and asked them to add such a note.
My goodness.
Jesus fucking Christ, man.
So, all right, let's do a couple more here.
One out of five stars, I don't know the name
because it's in an Asian language,
so it's characters I don't know.
And you can tell that, I could have told you that
from the review, that it's definitely not English
for a first language.
One out of five stars, the hygiene was very unclean.
Only a foreigner would say that.
Which is great.
There were even bugs on the bed.
Those are called bed bugs, my friend.
That might be jizz, you don't know.
You don't know.
I had a few bites on my body and it was very itchy.
No!
That is not cool.
Larry, one star, bed bugs!
All caps, three stars. Stayed in Mohegan Sun and got eaten
alive by bed bugs. 14 bites, that sounds like what you had happen to you last year.
Yeah, remember that? Oh man, I'm not going to say it because I don't want to be a dick,
but I know it when I'll never stay at again.
You know what to avoid. And the response from the hotel was nonchalant. Didn't even get
an apology until I made a scene about it.
Then they were like, we're sorry.
Oh my God, the hotel I stayed in told me
that they sent a hazmat team to check it out
and they found nothing.
And I was like, I showed you I found something.
My whole fucking leg.
I didn't hang my leg out the window last night
to be eaten by outdoor bugs.
This is an indoor bug problem.
It's in your place, man.
I'm not coming back.
Horrible response from the hotel manager.
She said, well, we gave you another room.
Really?
What a peach.
Bad bugs!
Three exclamation points again.
And then finally here, one star from Peter.
I wish I could give them minus star.
I've never seen the worst customer service in my life.
I love it.
The managers who were standing behind the backer at table
that they were not serving my requested.
That they were not serving my requested.
I felt like they were treated me like an animal and also
the way to talk like wanted to fight oh somebody tried to fight him apparently
and then not educated people yeah that's true that's the end of the review yeah
not educated people and I'll give you one more fuck it let's do one more
there's a bunch more on here but we'll'll do one more and we'll call it a fucking day. Okay. One star. Casino smelled like urine and smoke.
Was it the night that Burk Rides were formed? Overall clean. Smells like urine and smoke
though. We just went to see Australian Floyd concert. What? Okay?
We saw their Jurassic Park exhibit, $27 per person to get in.
It was indescribably cheesy.
What a total ripoff.
The dinosaurs were full-sized, but poorly done.
They don't exist anymore, man.
That's right.
Poorly done.
I want, you know the other ones were made on a fucking computer, the Jurassic Park ones,
right?
They weren't practical, you fucking dummy.
They didn't even look alive.
No, they were, but I mean, if you wanted to look like that,
these are actually things in front of you.
You know how expensive it would be
to make a realistic looking fucking dinosaur
for your dipshit ass?
At least you can touch it, man.
Had multiple spots of damage and seemed like props
from a local high school drama club.
Very cheesy, simple motors to do one or two
very basic things like make the tail move slowly.
They move around, it's not even just them there.
They had motors.
Ugh, the floor space, which was one large metal warehouse
all open, was maybe 20% poorly done exhibits
and 80% stuff to sell kids.
The place is bait and switched to get parents
to take their kids there, and then they are begged
for overpriced stuff ridiculous
I will never go back to this exhibit
Go take it off and go watch a comedy show. Oh, please. Yeah, no one will notice. There you go. That is everything
We've eaten bad food. We've had fucking we've gone to we've we've dived our buttholes are clearly bleached
And we've been fleeced of all our money. I think it's time to call it a day.
What else can we do?
Thank you so much.
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