Your Stupid Opinions - Line Fights, Roller Hostages, Lube Shooting

Episode Date: December 30, 2024

More crazy reviews! We hear all about a roller skating rink, where you can drop your kids off, but it will cost you, if you want to get them back. A discount store that makes you battle for everything from a chair to sit & feed your baby, to fists flying in the 2 hour lines. A very personal item that may have your stomach aching, but you'll still be slippery & much more!!Join comedians James Pietragallo and Jimmie Whisman as they explore the most opinionated part of the internet: The Reviews Section!Subscribe and we will see you every Monday with Your Stupid Opinions!!!Don't forget to rate & review!!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wondery plus subscribers can listen to your stupid opinions ad free right now join Wondery plus in the Wondery app or on Apple podcasts Hello everybody and welcome back to Your Stupid Opinions. Hey! Hey, hello there. My name is James Petragallo. I'm here with my co-host. I'm Jimmy Wissman. We're excited today.

Here we are, the last show of the year. Wow! Yeah, last show of 2025, our first full year with Your Stupid Opinions. We're very excited. Episode number 69. So if you want wanna have 12 year old boy jokes, go ahead and do it. We got those for ya. We're very excited.

We've covered all sorts of shit over this past year and I'm still having a great time with it and we hope you are too. So this is a lot of fun. Let's dive right in. Well first of all, follow on social media. Listen to Crime and Sports and Small Town Murder or other two shows as well

if they're exactly what they sound like, but with comedy. So check those out. And then from there, take yourself over to the Burlington, it's just Burlington now, Burlington Coat Factory it was, which they realized that that's a dumb name to have, because number one, the store is 80% not coats, and I don't think they make anything there.

And TJ Maxx has already taken. Yes, and Ross has already gone. So that's what I don't get is why they name it that. I guess in the beginning it might have just been a big fucking coat place, but our whole lives, Burlington Coat Factory was not a coat factory. A lot of people sold sold their jeans and knickknacks and stupid jeans and shit like that. It's just a strange

name for the shit. And when you picture it like a just a big like a warehouse full of coats that they're just pumping them out the off the lines and throwing them to you. It's really weird. So this Burlington is at 198 Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Boulevard in New York City. Here it is in Harlem. 3.7 stars out of almost 1100 reviews. Sure. Which is probably about what most Burlington's have. That's what they deserve.

If you've ever been to this, it is a shit show, a Burlington. It really is. First of all, if you've never had to shop for a jacket at Burlington hats off to you that you let it you good for you. You've got a great life Yeah, but if you've ever been poor you've gone to Burlington because I bought underwear There's a three pack and go home and there was only two brand new pairs in there because somebody Swipe what a fucking gross pairs in there because somebody swiped a fucking gross put their dirties in there and then wore home the new pair.

That's why you got to stick to the jackets and the hard items you know like plates and shit like you can wash those you know. So gross. So gross but the coats there I mean like a $300 coat would be like 80 bucks. Yeah. Yeah. So I mean that's I bought plenty crap there So here we go. Let's start out with Raven giving it five stars and she's got a shitload of reviews She says what can I say about this store? I don't know. What can you say about it?

Start this is your review lady talking right and throw it out there. I love Raven I love shopping at Burlington for their homeware items. Their employees are such a class act. Okay, again, that's never been said about Burlington employees. They're barely conscious, never mind a class act. They're barely awake, Burlington employees. You don't ask them for anything. They go, ah, it's out there.

Dive into the pile of coats and figure it out. I don't know what to tell you here. Watch out for the dirty undies. Wow, yeah, watch out, those three packs are really, you know, more of a two pack. The cashiers are always helpful and cheerful returns are a breeze. Lines can get very long, but other than that,

other than that proves they are doing something right, the line still moves very quickly. I really love shopping at the Harlem location. And then she shows a picture of, it looks like a, no, no, it looks like a little, it's a rooster that looks like maybe you put like coffee cream or gravy or something into it, like a pour. Yeah. Something that you can only find at Burlington.

And you pour it out of the rooster's mouth and it's, you know, it's garbage that grandma has in her fucking cabinet and she takes it out on Thanksgiving and you go, when would you buy this? Why do you have this? Well, we know at Burlington and we know where. Patricia Five Stars, this place is really on the money. They have a large selection of something you might want. A large selection of something you might want.

One man's trash. Those are very vague terms. Something and might in there. I went looking for a coat. Well that's a good place to start there. It sure is, yeah. I found my dream coat. What?

Technicolor? Was it a Technicolor dream coat? What are we talking about here? Dream coat? My dream coat. What? Technicolor? Was it a technicolor dream coat? What are we talking about here? Dream coat? My dream coat and it was a steal. $99 from $299. That's the thing, if you find a decent coat, it's going to be fucking more than half off. It was a name brand at my size. I was able to put it on layaway and was not charged any taxes. Yes, layaway for a hundred dollar jacket. They're still doing that. That's that. That is still in existence. Layaway. Oh, yes. I thought that just was what happened when I was a baby. Here's a

here's a hot tip. Get a credit card and take that motherfucker home today. That's it. That's it. Do that. Wow. I was disappointed though, because I could not find shoes in my size, which is a woman's 12. That sounds big. I can't. That's a big ass foot. You know what else? I can't find men's 13s in any store like that.

So listen, I'm with you, sister. This is what it's about. That's a men's 10, right? Something like that, yeah. It's a big shoe. It's a big woman's shoe. Yeah. Unless you wear like a men's eight and a half,

you're not fighting shit here That's where you that's what they're hot tip for her get those dogs on the internet and stop shopping at Burlington Yeah, maybe you can not have to put coats on let discount coats on layaway Dogs on the internet. I'm telling you you Come on Burlington factory. There are women shopping with big feet looking for shoes, boots and sneakers. Also, you need to bring a folding chair because most people are looking for deals. The line is long even though the cashiers do the best they can while being pleasant.

The prices for things are marked down from the original prices. We get that. I've seen people people carts stacked with toys and books for children. I'll be looking for another deal real soon. Once you get once you can pay off the $99 layaway thing here. Alicia two stars. Okay, Alicia. This location is disgusting.

Oh, okay. The store is unkempt and not sanitary. While many items are already opened and already used much like There you go. Yeah, everything's opened already people to pick through it There is only one cashier all day long and two cashiers during busy hours The line goes into multiple aisles of the store. I've seen pictures of this line and it's like I Would never buy anything. There's like nothing I've never needed anything that bad ever it looked like a depression era soup line

That's what it looked like. It really does. That's what it looks like It's just wrapped around the block and like, you know people in their overcoats shivering. It's really weird 66% off will get people in there man. I guess so man, that's what I'm saying. I recorded a waiting wait for an hour and 18 minutes before during 3pm. An hour and 18 minutes online is too long. No. You just lost all your savings. That makes my head hurt.

Yeah, everything that you saved you just spent it all. Yeah, you could have been at work and just made it and gone to a real store Paid a retail price Jesus today. My granddaughter was forced to be recorded Before even entering the store, but a white woman was not two black security guards only made black people Only made black people to stop and be recorded before shopping then the cat recorded I don't know what the hell that's about, take a video of you, that's weird. That's your ID.

Then the cashier did not take an alarm off after my granddaughter checked out. Not only is this traumatizing for her, it's insane and rude on their end. Yeah, it's just bad service. It's insane, they just forgot to take the thing off. It happens all, how many times have you walked out and had the fucking alarms go, it happens just bad service. It's insane. They just forgot to take the thing off. It happens Oh, how many times have you walked out and had fucking alarms go happens all time? I had to I had to rip one off of my sister's pants that I bought her for Christmas. Oh god

That's the worst. I got a home and I was like this thing's why all the alarms were going off in the mall. I Thought maybe there was just like a one of those one of those tape things on a tag somewhere Yeah, the whole fucking thing welded to the pants. So I had to go in my garage with my vice grips and tear that motherfucker apart. Jesus Christ. My favorite is when it goes off and the security guards don't even look at it. They don't even look or they go, just go. Yeah, just go.

That's the grocery store all the time. And they just go, just go. And I stand there, do I need to dip the... Get the fuck out of here. If you were stealing, you probably would have ran. That's the time. And they just go, just go, and I stand there, do I need to dip the, ah, the fuck outta here. If you were stealing, you probably woulda ran. That's the thing, yeah, but if you stopped at the alarm, it means get the fuck outta here, just go. It means he paid.

He paid. That's exactly what it fucking means. And it's like anybody too, I've seen like 12 year old kids that's standing there, like, just go, who cares. Just get outta here, we don't give a fuck. If you're stealing, we don't care. Wow, I would recommend traveling to another location the security guards make your impossible Make your impossible to shop without being followed and there's also a marshals across the street with nice security and just a shitty item

So just go there Herder gives two stars shitload of reviews for this person Wow Decent price is not the best Well, I mean unless you're buying it from a homeless person outside of a dumpster in an alley You're not gonna get lower prices than Burlington Yeah, completely unorganized half store is empty like it's going out of business. They just opened. They didn't even have small bags at the checkout. What kind of image is that?

No customer service at all? Good luck with that store. Okay, not liking that. One star here. Don't come here unless you have more than an hour and a half to wait online. This is crazy. I'd rather never get out of there, I'd rather never have a security tag taken off of something.

I'd rather never have to wait an hour and a half. I'd rather never have a coat. I will freeze to death before I fucking wait an hour and a half on a line for anything. I'm not waiting that long for anything. I can't think of one thing that's an hour and a half wait worthy. I really can't. No. Not waiting's an hour and a half weight-worthy. I really can't know Not waiting for an hour. I'm in the DMV. You know somewhere. We're like you know Legally you have to have it done like tags and shit on your come back another time

I'll drive illegal for a few days not standing in that shit. I'll take the Ticket fuck that's yeah emergency room Maybe if I had like a like a you know lawn implement stuck in my head or something I'd maybe wait there for that but other than that Wow I've been here. Oh They don't hire workers People are sitting on the floor and folks are starting to fight

Yeah, if you get strangers mixed up and having to spend an hour and a half with each other they will fight after a while People okay. I've been here for over an hour and a half. The workers get online and skip everyone else. They have one person working for 60 who are waiting. This place is a joke. The manager should be fired or they should be shut down. Oh, shut down. Cease all operations. If you you can. It's a joke. It's the joke clause in the law that if you replace it with a joke they shut it down. Natalia one star. So I'm paying and this cashier Jackie on Burlington 125th has zero patience when I was struggling

to find the actual register. She got the nerve to even call me stupid in front of her supervisor and on top of that she refused to charge me. Oh well good then it's free. And her supervisor said yeah. Yeah. Oh she's stupid this one? Alright I'll keep an eye on it.

That's the stupid one. Don't charge her. Don't charge her. I don't know the policies on Burlington but calling a customer stupid in front of everyone is unacceptable Here's the question though to tell you are you stupid? That's the thing Perhaps if you are you don't know called stupid in front of them the you might be already figure and they did nothing about it You might be stupid. They might just go good call that she's yeah. Yeah, Ryan one star

14 cash registers and only four cashiers on a Saturday afternoon. This is clearly a terrible and disrespectful choice by Burleson. Disrespectful. Not the adjective I would have used, but I'll take it. No. Disrespectful. 45 minutes in line to buy one pair of pants. Oh boy. You should invest as much in hiring cashiers as you do in hiring security with

bulletproof vests all over the store. Yeah. Cause people are shooting to get out of Burlington with a sail coat. That would be nice to spend 40% more and they'll be nice to you. Yeah. And, Yeah, and use 10% less time. Yeah, no one at Macy's will call you stupid. That's the thing. That's true, yeah. They will get fired for that shit.

They'll try to suck your balls to sell you some fucking cologne though. Jesus Christ. Oh Jesus Christ, anything else. Camila, one star, I'm known in this store as I live around the corner. I'm known in the store. They go, hey Camila, I'm a regular in Burlington.

Everyone goes, Camille, oh, and she comes in. Yeah, exactly. How's the world treating you, Camille? And she's like, huh, you know. What's a norm line? It's a dog eat dog world, I'm wearing milk bone underwear. And she walks back to the coat section.

So. I was like, I'm gonna go buy a coat where everybody knows my name. Where everyone knows my name. I shop here frequently, just about every day. What the fuck are you going to Burlington? They don't have food there. Why are you going there every day? I can see the grocery store every day to get that tonight's dinner or whatever, but not Burlington. I've heard of somebody shopping every day. was on an episode of Hoarders.

What does your fucking house look like? How many coats do you have? What's the problem here? How many do you crawl over to get to your bed? I've been to a Burlington like five times in my life. In life, yeah. In life. Entire life.

Every day. It's crazy. Wow. The lines are long but I tough it out for the prices and the staff, including loss prevention staff who are quite nice and patient. Unfortunately, this evening I encountered one nasty individual who earned this complaint.

I walked into the store to return one item around 7.54 p.m., around 7.54. Around exact time. And 32 seconds. I walked to the line Which wasn't crazy long and then decided just to run to the shoe department to look This individual followed me and said in a very nasty tone. The store was closed Gesturing with her hands. I ignored her at first because I didn't know who the hell she was speaking to like that Certainly not me. I'm a VIP

No, I'm a VIP. There's definitely one talking to me. No, I'm a regular. You don't understand. Yeah. After I just looked down the aisle, I turned and said, I heard you. She responds, Oh, I didn't know if you spoke English because you didn't answer me. Oh, I didn't know if you spoke English or not. And quite frankly, I didn't have to answer her.

No, you don't. I am not. That's not part of the Burlington fucking rules of the road here. I didn't know if you spoke the fucking language. Wow. She made a statement. She didn't ask a question. True.

Very true. Additionally, there were several other customers still shopping on the floor, but I was her target. I've never been treated like this coming in this store, and as I said, I come here often, so it was not at all appreciated. Whether I speak English, Latin, Chinese, or Spanish, customer service is crucially important. If you speak Latin, that'd be really weird,

because it's a dead language So you're never you're not gonna get a lot of help with that probably I don't know to tell you lesson You're just reading money all day. That's all say unless you just hang out at Catholic Church No one's gonna get you at all with the fuck you're saying Tone is important Interaction is important and knowing your place is important quite frankly She needs to be reprimanded or fired. If not, I promise you she will have another issue because she's disrespectful and not all

customers will handle it respectfully the way I did." Camille just threatened to throw hands. She just said, I'm not the one to do it but someone's going to punch this bitch in the mouth. That's what she just said. You tell somebody they don't speak the kings, you might get drilled. You might get popped in the face here, especially in the middle of Harlem, maybe someone's gonna be, hey, mother fuck you. I have included a picture for reference. Of the person?

Of the person. And here she is, look at her pointing too. She looks like, out bitch, that's what it looks like. Get out, bitch. That's her. Okay, bitch. That's her. Okay, so we've seen her now, that's good. Moving on to Jonathan, one star. Alright, this is where dreams of a pleasant Sunday go to die.

This is where dreams of a pleasant Sunday go to die. Time, fun day does not exist here. Time goes to be wasted and days go to be destroyed. Jesus. It's like a Cupid Factory. Burlington, destroyer of planets over here. What the fuck is going on? Burlington slash Monsanto over here. Eater of will. The cash registers are chronically understaffed,

which means that you have to wait in horrible, slow, long lines. There were two to three cashiers for a line of over 35 people today. The picture doesn't even capture the entire line. I spent 38 minutes going from the end of the line to finally seeing a register for one item. This is a regular occurrence here. Cashier's gutted out, but management refuses

to staff more people for registers. I've been a Harlem native, even when this mall was just an empty lot, and this Burlington location has been this way for at least three years. I've come in, seen the line, and left to get my supplies elsewhere before. Supp supplies of what? Candle sticks and fucking members only jackets. What are you getting supplies of here? And a ghost sign that says boo in April. Yeah

What the fuck are we talking about here on this day? There are at least five people wearing loss prevention shirts, but half that many working the register. A good manager would figure out something to reallocate staff or step in to help during a busy period like this. They say time is money. Well, they don't value your time, so don't give them your money. Yeah.

Sounds to me like people stand in line and then go, fuck this, I ain't waiting, and they just leave with it. Dude, look at this line. That's why they need loss prevention. Holy dog shit. Are you kidding me? Dude, look at it. That's 70 people deep. Those are the registers here. It goes all the way out Dude, I'd lose my I'd see that and just go no no Nothing in here is worth waiting that long for not even if it was free. I'm not waiting that long Come get free shit. No, thanks liquidating literally zero dollars. I'm not waiting that long No, my time is worth more than that

One star here poor service the cashiers rather talk to one another and giggle instead of working to help the line move I was waiting in line for three hours. No you weren't. And it wasn't even the weekend. No you didn't. Several people said an hour and a half, so three hours is not out of the realm of possibility here. But again, that's half a shift at a place like this.

They should pay you. They should give you a Burlington shirt. Oh, oh, oh, oh boy. If the line is three hours, you just say, just give me me a shirt I'll go help out at the register and then when I'm done I'll just right? I'll just pay for my shit at the register. Well we'll just call my purchase a wash for what I work for. People don't wait that long for Splash Mountain at Disneyland man.

No. Three fucking hours? Are you out of your goddamn mind? Same not even Indiana Jones. No. Okay, Julius One Star. I purchased gloves two days ago and they are coming apart. I came to the store to return and was told I couldn't return gloves. On receipt it says

simple if you are unhappy for any reason bring it back with your receipt within 30 days and get your purchase price back. Furthermore, Ebony drilled me on how the gloves are coming apart. I don't know maybe poor craftsmanship $12.99 I guess I shouldn't be so petty but wait I should but wait I should it's my money Again, the customer service at Burlington is horrible next time. I will follow my first thought I should have purchased gloves at Nordstrom I don't know why I purchase items at discount stores you get what you pay for exactly there you go Yeah, so you he sure wrote all that out and then just erased it all and said fuck it.

Said I paid $12 for gloves that fell apart, maybe I spend 30 on some that don't. That's fucking it, that's two hour lines, all these reviews are huge lines. Carlos one star, this place is horrible. If you really need to stop here, you really shouldn't. Even if you really need it, you shouldn't. Employees yelling at customers,

customers getting into fights, lines as big as the store. This company doesn't hire enough for the capacity of people who come here. It's a sad place to be. Sad? And they're not closing it because they've got lines out the fucking door. No, I mean there's tons of people here. It's fucking crazy.

Rosina, one star, just horrible, all caps, double exclamation point. Customer service is the worst. Actually she says it's the worst. So whatever. It's the worst. So whatever it's the worst. I both greeted and said thank you to cashier and didn't even lift her, his head up or respond. And let's not talk about the lady in the floor. She's in the floor. Help her out. Lady in the floor,

which went on a rant about how I need to put things back on the hanger. When I had just turned into the aisle and had no idea what she was talking about saying quote, you people think we're your slaves. Well, when you're in the floor, you look like it. You're in the floor. I don't know what's going on. Holy shit. Not to mention the mess and disorderly this store is. The mess and disorderly this store is never again.

All caps double exclamation. It's like they're doing us a favor by being in our neighborhood. It's a shame customers get treated like this. Wow. One star from Mousy. I had to give one star in order to rate. See, now that's not, that's not how you do it.

If I could give zero stars, I would. That's how you do it. Get it the fuck stars ours. I would what else that's how you get it the fuck together Come on mousy horrible no bathrooms with wraparound lines Yeah, they're so focused on crack heads using the bathroom But forget about customers paying spending over $200 a lot of people say they have closed the bathrooms down completely Oh boy, no bathrooms in the store whatsoever Which is get your coat and get the fuck out they have closed the bathrooms down completely. Oh boy. No bathrooms in this store whatsoever, which is. Get your coat and get the fuck out. Get your shit and leave.

Yeah, this is, it's this cheap because fuck you. That's the point. That's it. That's all, that's what it is, that's what it should say. Shit's cheap, don't expect your ass kissed in here. And if it's not like a mall with like, I don't know, 50 fucking stores in it, one store, one stand, you can't hold it

for one shopping experience. If you are so incontinent that you can't wander a store for a couple hours. Then again, if you're online for three hours, maybe if that's another story. I shouldn't have had that bottle of water before I came to the store four hours ago shit Now I got a piss

It's with maybe they should do it like some of those restaurants do word like there's restaurants where they like throw shit at you And call you names and shit and people love it. That's the theme of it We're like here you go cocksucker and they throw your hot dog out here. Whatever. Maybe they should make this the Burlington Coat Factor It's like next dickheadhead line, come on. How's it going, asshole? Come on, you cheap fuck, come on down here. Put your cheap shit up here. Okay, there you go.

I mean, you saved money, but probably not worth that line, you dumb fuck. All right, next. This is gonna fall apart next week. Don't bring it back here. Don't bring it back. I don't want your garbage. We'll never shop there again, Nicholas says with one star.

Horrible customer service by cashier Tamiko. She took it out on me because a shirt didn't ring up. Your fault. You dumb bitch, you picked up the wrong one. Asshole. Then acted like she didn't want to sell it to me due to it not being in the system. She started waving her hands and raising her voice acting like she was talking to someone

from the street and not a guest at the store she works at. This gets real fucking bad. Tempers flare. When I asked for the manager she said she's out to lunch you can wait. She does not need to be working there. She seems miserable. I tried calling the store but no one picks up. Yeah of course not. They're all all waiting they got attending to a three

hour line if someone does pick up you go hang up this phone and go check people out you asshole there's three hour lines in there oh my god this is fucking amazing so yeah these people hate this fucking store holy shit okay we'll read this last one because it's long and we'll end it with Tasha here. Tasha one star. I usually have a positive experience at this store. This actually used to be my favorite store location. Today I took my kids here to get a Father's Day gift.

Oh, that poor father, he's getting a Burlington Coat Factory gift. We first used the restroom, which was filthy. This was a few years ago, by the way, so they still had restrooms. Restrooms seem like in the last year they've taken them out. Which was filthy and was out of toilet paper in each stall. Next I went to the home decor department to look around. My newborn daughter was crying and needed a bottle. I took a seat in the only display chair that was for sale to feed and burp her for a few minutes.

A young sales rep approached me and told me that I should use the seats in the shoe department. I kindly asked if I could sit for a few minutes longer. The sales rep became a bit condescending calling me honey. In the parentheses, she was much younger than I am. Listen, honey. Listen honey. Saying that I couldn't sit in the chair because someone may want to buy it. Yeah, that's a hot item.

A chair at Burlington. Five minutes of someone in that chair you're going to lose a lot of business there. Holy shit. Someone may want to buy it. Annoyed, I decided to do what she asked anyway and move to the shoe department on the other side of the store. When I got there, the area was a complete mess and there was merchandise all over the place.

Merchandise was also piled on top of every last bench, leaving nowhere to sit. Other sales reps, who I guess witnessed the other rep ask me to move, kept staring at me and my family and smirking. She's going to have her titty out in a minute. That's what they're saying. Not to see the video, keep watching, maybe she'll pop the other one out. Hey, Burlington's not such a bad place to work.

Either way, I picked out an item to purchase and headed to the main floor to get on the line. This line was ridiculously long, the longest I've ever seen. I decided to put the item down and walk out of the store. By far, one of the least organized and least friendly Burlington's I've been to. I will continue to shop at Burlington, just not at that location. Not this place. Okay. Fuck that place. So speaking of fuck

this place, if you want to fuck this place and it's not quite ready for it, you might need our personal item of the week everybody. You got you got? Which is a lube applicator. Oh. Lube applicator. I'll read you the title of it on Amazon and then I will show it to you here. Lube applicator syringes, lubricant tube shooter with smooth rounded cap for men, women and couples, reusable, easy use and clean. It goes everywhere. Here we go. Yeah, well I mean any hole you got, it's like a syringe basically.

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I hate to interrupt this meeting, but I'm feeling real dry. Hold on. I'll be right back. Oh yeah, that's what I mean. I keep it in my fucking cubicle. What am I doing? Yeah, fucking hell.

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This is $8.29 by the way. Very affordable. You get two, which is terrific. And it has 4.4 stars out of 1,590 reviews. People enjoy shooting lube into themselves. Let's be honest here. Alright, here we go. Not only lube, other things as well, as we'll find out.

Jeff gives it five stars, perfect for at home insemination. Oh, get out of here. Are you doing that at home? Are you inseminating, Jeff? Listen, there's one way to get pregnant at home, and it's not like that. You got a ready-made syringe down there, Jeff. Anything else you're going to a doctor's office, I feel like, to have it put shot into you, correct?

No? Am I nuts here? I don't know. You've got a syringe. You were born with it. Wow. It's deep as it goes, Jeff. Throw it in there, man.

My spouse and I have needed fertility support and our doctor actually was the one to recommend lube shooters for at home at seven age. And imagine a guy in a medical coat who went to school for that long going, have you tried lube shooters at all? Have you heard of lube shooters? Ah, no.

No, doc, we're sober. No, it's not like that. No. Instead of the absurdly overpriced exact same designed ones Shooters Wow no doc. We're sober. No, it's not like that No Instead of the absurdly overpriced exact same designed ones branded for people trying to conceive Apparently there is an at-home insemination thing Like I've seen it for like cows and shit. They have that like a big one, you know for a big cow vagina Yeah, but I don't know people actually just have to kind of shove the jizz up there and kind of throw it at the urethra. Yeah, kind of stuff it in there.

So yeah, my partner says it's very comfortable to insert with a rounded tip. Pretty easy to inject herself one-handed and has great suction for collection too. Holy. I don't want a good job of collecting. So who's having this? It sounds like she's got like a tilted uterus or some shit That yeah, that he's you got to get it in there deep. He's jizzing in a cup and he's Fucking she's sucking it up. Yeah Wow

Must make I'm getting out of there. Oh, no, there's a little in the corner still God damn it. I'm getting out of there. Oh no, there's a little in the corner still. I can't get it. Oh, Jesus Christ. Like a vacuum. Yikes.

Oh, Crystal Five Stars and her title is Yep. Okay. Yep. If you're new to anal, these aren't great. Oh, God. Wouldn't that be an enema though at that point? To shoot liquid in your ass? Shouldn't you just like grease up the dick?

That's what I mean. Yeah, there's different. Yeah, I mean, no, it's shoot it inside. Easy to use hard plastic. So they're washable. Thank fuck. Yeah, that's my thank fuck and reusable also. That's terrific.

Wow. Five stars price, they say. Yeah, jeez. Just bought, haven't used it yet, but it's what I was looking for. And one person found that helpful somehow. I love that, seeing the people who found that helpful. I've been looking for it too.

How do you find that helpful? I've been looking so hard. They gave do you find that helpful? I've been looking so hard. They gave you no information. The information is... Great! They have it and they wanted one. Very helpful. That means nothing to me. Crazy shit.

Next up, Amber. Five stars. As expected. That's the review I would think. As expected. You can shoot liquids in yourself. Yeah, tried to get it inside, this thing did it. Done. It did it. Works as expected, however, I wouldn't recommend filling it up all the way for backdoor use. Too much lube is definitely a thing. Yeah, she'd probably shit herself on the bed. Yeah.

Then it turns into an enema if you use too much. Or it just drip drops out and that's gross. That's going to be everywhere drops out and that's gross. That's going to be everywhere. Yeah, that's going to be nasty. Milena five stars. Her title is for self insemination exclamation point. Very excited about it.

I'm very excited to jizz myself up. My husband's a dribbler. I make him shoot ropes with this thing. That's it. I am using them for self insemination and they work just as the very expensive kit sold specifically for that if this is what you're looking for looking at them for they work perfect for it's all you yeah so apparently that the medical grade

inseminators are a ripoff apparently Apparently you're $8 for two. These loose the jam. You got a medical grade. Yeah. You know that. And then you have a lube shooter, a medical grade inseminator, applicator, and then insemination applicator, lube shooter, just as good as the uterus soaker 2000. Oh, Tom five stars.

There we go. The womb flutter. They call this one five stars. There we go. The womb flutter they call this one. Five stars. No, they don't call it the womb flutter. The irrigator. You know what though? Why not at this point? You know, who cares?

I'm laughing so hard not because it's a stupid question because it's believable Because it's a it's It's so stupid that that's a believable thing but yeah, that's to say it Tom five stars it works exactly as it should and was comfortable to use. Oh he used all right Yeah, I used the product as intended and it helped increase my pleasure of anal sex. Great. Okay, we're happy for you. I'm thrilled for you there, buddy.

That's good. Sounds good. Helped, fuck. Hey, fuck, whatever works for you. I can't imagine that being comfortable ever, but good for you. I'm happy for you, sir. Douglas Three Stars works. Yeah. Apparently Three Stars works.

Apparently not the best. This product works, however, when I used it, it made my stomach hurt worse than it's ever hurt before and made me have uncontrollable bowel movements. Yes, you shot too much lube up your ass and gave yourself an enema. That's what you did. And possibly too deep, man. And maybe too, well, the handles are there,

so I don't think you could get it in more than about three inches. You could probably get three, four inches in there, and that might be too much. That wouldn't give you uncontrollable bowel movements and stomach pain. Three inches in your ass? I imagine if it's time one that's ever been anything in there, maybe. If it is true, I would like to apologize to any girl that's ever wanted to have anal sex, because I'm sorry that you went through this afterwards.

So sorry that you're in such pain. Ben guys, all of you. Maybe I use too much, but for me, I will never use this product again. No, you used too much, not maybe. Not maybe, you did a thing and it caused this. Other than my personal experience, it seems to be made of quality materials

and could be very useful. That's great. Yeah Kevin three stars just okay Okay, just okay. I find that these don't do what I wanted them to do. What do you think they did? It doesn't vibrate and that's a problem for me. It's all it says it does is shoot liquid inside of you Does it do that? No, there's that but I also need it to spin He says It doesn't do what I wanted them to do. Sure. I can get lube up there. Well, then it does its job That's all it's there for

That's it. It's not a toaster oven on the side. It's not none of those things. It does nothing else It's not a GPS. It does not have a pocket fisherman. It's not none of those things. It does nothing else. It's not a GPS. It does not a pocket fisherman It is not so sure I can get lube up there, but not much more than that then that can be done manually Yeah, that's what we said to begin with you could probably get about as much Manually for me. They're not right. Maybe you might feel differently well. Maybe we might you don't know Next up consumer of snacks gives it two stars. What am I doing on the internet? This is crazy.

This is what people do on the internet. Sharp all caps. Oh no. I don't think they mean it looks good either. I think it's not a sharp dressed man. It's a fucking... It's got some edges. The opening bits are...the opening bites sensitive parts, they mean bites.

Handle with care. It does the job, but holy smokes, be careful. Is he bleeding? He sounds like someone from the Midwest. It does the job, but holy smokes, be careful, I'll tell you. It's difficult to clean due to the nature of the product. So be... Yeah. That sounds like a one use item.

That's why you get two. I think this is, it says easy to clean. I realize you can reuse it, but you shouldn't. In the instructions, they're really all about easy to clean, cleans well. I don't think so. I'm with you. It's difficult to clean due to the nature of the product. So be thorough and mindful

of any residue. If you're using with a partner, give them ample warning. These little things are intimidating. Well yeah, if you're about to fucking someone pulls this crazy thing out, you're like, oh my god, you're about to inseminate a horse? What are we doing here? No, this is for your asshole. Oh, okay.

Jesus Christ. R gives it one star. Doesn't hold as much as you think It's enough to make this guy shit uncontrollably the other guy give him a stomach ache Holy shit It needs a line to indicate where the lube the lube could be drawn to up to it has more empty Plastic space then can that then can draw liquid so I can't draw the whole body of the tube. It doesn't have any measurement markers? That's crazy. I mean I guess it doesn't need to be scientific to shoot lube in your ass.

I mean a little dab will do you, right? I would think. As soon as the lube is drawn past this invisible spot, which isn't even halfway up the tube, it all slides out before even taking the tube out to be exposed to air. Rip off. Okay. It was $8.99. Come on.

Yeah. Let's see. One star from Jacob. This can't be helped. Product arrived broken. Well, that's bad. Throw that out. Can't use it at all.

Box was broken and they were split in two. Oh, no. That's not good. Eric, one star. Very sharp. Second time somebody said that. Very sharp. Eric, one star, very sharp. Second time somebody said that. Very sharp. I do not recommend very junky.

Okay, junky. Junky, junky. Cheap product. It's $9. It's $9 for two. One star, dumb item. This is a dumb item they start out their review with. Yeah.

After trying to use this, it's just plain awkward. Not sure if it would be something you'd grab first for extra moisture I'd look to find another more natural item and not this product. It's as inexpensive as it is. It's not worth it. Okay shaky gives one star More gentle intimacy with my partner. That sounds boring more gentle intimacy with my partner. That sounds boring. They just make intimacy a lot more enjoyable again without the worry of a dry start. Do you not own spit, sir?

Have you? Yeah, I guess the backside doesn't fucking lube up. No, the backside's not gonna lube up. That's not self-lubricant, but. No, certainly not. I don't know, that's too bad. The only problem is you can only use the syringes once even if you clean them out, like you were saying.

Yeah, yeah. And then this person here, one star from Greg Leakey. Oh, yeah. Item does not hold liquid without leaking. Returns are not possible. No, they are not. That, sir, is your lube shooter. That's your lube shooter. That's your lube shooter

That is your lube shooter shooter, sir. Okay, so we've been to Burlington. We've been in a fistfight with customers Yeah, we've waited on a three-hour line. We have my ass is dripping dripping from our assholes right now We have a lot going on. So what would we like to do? Obviously go roller skating clearly Yeah, let's go to the Magic Wheels Fun Center. Shit yeah. 1671 Fort Campbell Boulevard, Clarksville, Tennessee. Magic Wheels of Fun. Oh boy.

Here we go. They have 3.9 stars on Google out of 828 reviews. So that's not great. No. Okay. We'll start off with the positive. Christine, what do you got to tell us? Five stars.

Great place to take the family. Although the hours are a bit odd, so be sure to check their schedule when you plan your visit. The hours are a bit odd because it says that it opens at 5.30 p.m. which is a very weird time for RollerRing to open. I don't get that. That is a weird time. I don't understand it. Emily Five Stars came for a private event field trip with 80 to 100 regional elementary age kids. What a fucking nightmare that sounds like. Jesus. Whoof. Wonderful staff, funny, kind, caring, secure entry that I loved.

Young lady that worked the skate checkout area was so impressive, impressive sweet. Impressive sweet. Impressive dash sweet. So like impressive sweet, she said. That's like a southern thing. She was impressive sweet, that girl. Patient, even though there's a learning curve with skate sizes and let's face it, let's face it the kids have almost no clue what size they wear or how to put

them on. Had to return it to the counter a couple different times and she was right the whole time and was sweet as pie explaining it. Oh yeah she's very sweet, just sweet as pie. This is Cal, it's just sweet. Impressive sweet. Yeah. Oh, yeah, she's very sad just sweet as pie. It's just impressive sweet. Yeah sweet as pie Explaining it all staff an excellent job of telling the kids how to skate safely without making it boring Great DJ that knows exactly what eight-year-olds want to hear so they're pumped skating

What what I say, what do eight-year-olds want to hear? Check the background on that man. Why does he know so much about eight year olds? And eight year olds generally aren't that into music. No. Like they're usually... That part about skating. No, that's weird. Disney followed by Taylor followed by Who Let the Dogs Out, obviously. So you're saying he's a hat. Shit. He just... kids like shit is what they like. Happy shit. That's what they play. And this location has a really great play place right beside the rink So anyone that can't skate or younger siblings, etc can go play and the parents can watch both easily. Oh man, okay

So they said that I realize why we miss out magic wheels and Dixon that closed down so much My oldest grew up in there and this is clearly a complaint wide standard for MW. Okay, wonderful play. Yeah, I think the hours are weird is what they're saying and everyone complains about that. It's a really fucked up time that they out. I guess nobody skates prior to 530. I guess you would think in the summer kids would go in the day, right?

All day, yeah. Well, let's find out. Maggie, one star. There's absolutely no changing station anywhere, I guess, for babies. We were told to change our seven-month-old in the stall on the bathroom floor or on the toilet. How many babies? Put your baby on the toilet.

Why would they accommodate babies in a skating room? Babies can't fucking skate. No, but people bring babies. Every place has the fucking thing that comes down from the wall. Why would they accommodate babies in a skating, babies can't fucking skate. No, but people bring babies, every place has the fucking thing that comes down from the wall. How hard is that? And if you've got a five year old,

you've got a two year old. That's the thing, yeah. If you're bringing multiple kids there, you can't expect no babies. How hard is it? It's a fucking plastic tray that comes down from the wall. It's not a bad point.

It's the technology of a plane seat. And it's $80. Just bolt the fucking thing to the technology of a plane seat. And it's $80. Just go to the wall and go along. Yeah pop it in there. Fucking that's ridiculous. The staff was rude and none of them seemed to know what they were doing. But I would like to see a baby try to roller skate now that you mentioned it. They legit rushed the birthday party and if you're just standing in the birthday area watching your child play on the playground they will tell you to leave even if you are completely out of the way and no one's there or coming in. Jesus.

Their games are way overpriced. If you forget something outside they will make you pay to reenter. Get a fucking stamper people. I'm not paying to go back in again. I was already in here. Yes. Remember the angry 6-4 Italian guy that walked out that said you better not fucking tell me to repay when I enter?

That's me. Remember me? That you watched me go to my car and come back motherfucker? You've seen me be bitchy all day already. I hate this place. I hate this place. I hate kids and I'll beat you with my roller skates. I'm not paying you twice.

No you fucking asshole. What a dick. They won't allow outside food or even water for a baby's bottle What we were told after our child had a blowout if we left to go get the extra clothes we had in the car We would have to repay to get back in why why would you have to repay to get back in that's ridiculous. That's asinine Completely asinine. You don't have to. You can leave a baseball, you can leave Yankee fucking stadium and come back in without re-buying

another ticket. No re-entry? What is that stopping? That's what I mean. You know what I mean? The no re-entry is to stop people from going to their car to get a fucking gun or something. What is charging me again, stopping me from? That's what I'm saying.

Yeah, I'll pay a VFI bucks if I I'm gonna go slaughter everyone anyway. Who cares? This is crazy. Wow, these people have shit all over them. She said a blowout which means diaper. Yeah, that's a problem. Oh fuck, they are overpriced for the food and drinks. We would have definitely been better off going to another place. This doesn't sound very magical to me. Robert one star. Wow, pay to reenter. This doesn't sound very magical to me. Robert one star. Wow. Pay to reenter. Who the hell does that? These guys do. I have been to several places like this in Arizona and other states with my kids. Never had to pay a reenter fee. That's unheard

of. Never. That's absolutely unheard of. I could see you can't leave for an hour, but you can go to your car and come back. What if you wanna go out and smoke? Then what? Right, you're not letting me smoke around these kids. I'm gonna go out there and smoke, I'll be right back. Trust me, I need to, or else there's gonna be violence in here.

You want me to smoke, I promise. You want me to smoke weed out there, as a matter of fact. Man, oh Jesus Christ, that's great. A lot of people complaining about not getting the credits they were supposed to and like shit like that too that's a big deal. Rebecca one star will never do a birthday party here again paid over $300 for a party that was rushed to eat the pizza and cake then presents then we went to skate because we hadn't yet and spend coins and this lady tried making us leave after we left the table clean

Because our time was up and the table she had the nerve to walk up to my daughter and tell her she had to leave She is 10. I'm sorry. You ruined our celebration and the memory of my daughter's birthday zero stars There is not one bit of punctuation in that at all. That was a lot. That was just a fucking complete stream of consciousness and then zero stars. Wow.

And that's, okay, that's crazy. Just getting yelled at and rushed with $300. Okay, AC one star. All right, now at the top they say, edit after Magic Wheels reply. When I spoke to the front desk after my daughter was turned away, the fact that they serve alcohol is the response she gave me as the reason for the policy. Regardless, the policy is ridiculous. Going through other reviews seems like this will be a growing issue. Okay. Here's the perspective for this place Colon all right my 19 year old adult daughter cannot be take her nine year old sister roller skating

Cannot be take I guess she can't take her nine year old sister roller skating because she's not 21 Okay, I can put her on school emergency contact forms. She's authorized to pick her up from school. I can put her as an emergency contact on medical forms. She can take her to a restaurant and get service. But Magic Wheels is above all of that because they serve alcohol. Yeah. Yeah. Well, how about just ID the people and don't let the 19-year-old drink?

You could do that too. If you aren't checking IDs and keeping track of who you're serving alcohol to, just say that. Instead of restricting the area that alcohol is allowed or checking IDs thoroughly at the bar, you're cutting off patrons at the door to take responsibilities off your establishment. It seems like this place shouldn't call themselves

a family fun center at all. Pick a lane, alcohol or family, since you can't seem to manage both at the same time Either make it all for kids. Yeah make it all for drunks No kids figure out the fuck how to do both Response from the owner was Hello, our supervision policy has nothing to do with the fact that beer is also sold in our venue.

Okay, then why is it? It has to do with the maturity of the individual charged with supervising minors. Our policy is very consistent with the policy of amusement parks and shopping malls across the nation. What the fuck are you talking about? A 19-year-old can take a nine-year-old to the mall. What the fuck are you talking about? A 19 year old can take a nine year old to the mall. It's totally allowed.

Completely allowed. I don't understand what's going on. We are sorry that you feel like you would like us for us to close our doors forever because you disagree with us on this policy. We try hard to maintain a family-friendly atmosphere at our center, which is one of the reasons we also have a two beer limit for visits.

Oh, is that right? So you can't even have fun. Great. Not like a two drink minimum. They got a two drink maximum? Maximum. This place is full of assholes, it sounds like. That's, it's not the policy that a 19 year old

can't take their little sister somewhere. It's a policy in bars, not nowhere else. Right, right, yeah. Fucking stupid. Mocha, one star, ridiculous rules. You can't be a child's guardian unless you're 21 years old. I'm a 19 year old parent. I can't watch my kid unless I'm 21.

What? That's what I mean. 19. People have kids at 19. True, yeah. What about those people? I understand if they're not your child, but what? I'm not trying to drink a beer.

I'm trying to watch my kid play in a play area. What the shit is going on here? That's fucking nuts. Okay, uh, Euro gives one star. Waited in line for a long time just to get in the building. Lots of kids that are unsupervised, not enough staff. Some staff was yelling at my toddler in the playground area. Yelling at my toddler? Yeah. Yell at my toddler. I'll yell at my toddler. Thank you. The concessions was way overpriced. Yeah, they were. The concessions was way overpriced. You know, that's how that said. And the staff at concession counter was extremely rude.

They don't know the word were exists. I don't think I was, I was very disappointed in our trip to magic fun wheels center. I spend a lot of money here He makes it so he comes in every day He's a high roller he's like one of these vegas guys I spend a lot of money in this joint. Sure. It's this place like camille treats burlington That's right. I'll tell you why every day I come in with two kids, I rent four pairs of skates. That's why I just like to throw money around. I don't care, that's what I'm saying.

Just give me the two though, because I'm a spender. I'm a classy guy. The staff definitely needs an attitude adjustment if they're going to continue to work with the public. Yeah. Hoof, oh my God. It's apparently $3 to-? And to reenter from this going

by this one. This is a doomed something here. One star similar to other posts. I initially thought the venue was fine and seemed like the birthday party was well run until I left the building. Upon reentry, just to retrieve my son from the party I was met with an argument with the manager about a three dollar fee to reenter the building That's Wow Keeping you from helping your minor minor child leave a party that I am sure the parents paid several hundred dollars on is Absolutely ridiculous. You can't lock our kids in and charge us a fee to come back and get them When you put it that way, it really is pretty silly to do that. Charge you to get your kids out.

Right? Also, offering to use the intercom to page a child in a very loud environment is not a solution. No. If they're bumping fucking never ever ever getting back together over and over again over the fucking thing, it's's gonna be impossible to hear shit that kids are screaming frozen lyrics at the top yeah one too much yeah too fucking much I've never heard of this reentry charge to parents getting anywhere and it is a great way to get me

to never come back it sounds to me like you're trying to prevent people from somehow freeloading on your establishment. No one gets on in, was, were, what the fuck is happening down there? Never happening. On your establishment. But in turn you are creating a hostile situation instead of making this a fun experience for families and kids. Parents stay away! Just leave your kids there. Lock gives one star. Paid for our young kids to come in. Four songs within 30 minutes. The floor is segregated based on gender.

That's good to know. I was like, floor is segregated based on please not be anything. So we paid to sit out four full songs, sitting and waiting and wasting our time while the other gender got to skate. Then it flipped and our other half of the family had to sit and watch. Almost seems like they intentionally burn time so you can't skate as much as possible during your time slot. No, they're trying to keep from getting sued for your 14 year old getting pregnant on their fucking wood floor.

Yeah, you want her getting fingered as she's trying to fucking go around. Don't bring your own water bottles for the kids. You must pay to buy their water bottles. Will not ever revisit. No Stanleys allowed. Yeah, they sell shit in there. That's why. That seems fucking kind of normal, right? I don't know. Anywhere that really sells anything doesn't... I mean, they generally let you bring a water bottle, though. Well, Arizona, the law is you can't let anybody not bring in a sealed bottle of water into anywhere.

Really? That's the law in our... Yeah, because I worked at Jackson's on 3rd, the bar there, and if someone had a sealed bottle of water, we had to let them bring it in. It's the law. Or it's the heat. You have to...

You can't tell people no water when it's 115 degrees outside. My daughter drags a Stanley fucking everywhere she goes. It has to be a sealed bottle of water that's not opened yet. Like on a, yeah, that's how they do it. So if it was sealed. And she could technically have fucking rum and coke in there, I guess.

That's why it had to be sealed. That's why it had to be sealed, yeah. So that's even a bar, even a bar you're allowed to take a drink in in Arizona. so this is a different state here. Natasha OneStar, she's talking about this birthday party and she's saying it's an easy drop-off process and a semi-friendly staff, which I think is funny. And she said she was able to walk in

and get them their skates and get them settled for the party. She said, when I came back to pick up my child and his friend at the end of the party, 3 pm, they refused to let me and other parents come in to pick up our kids without parents having to pay a fee. How much extra money are they getting off of this? It's gotta be thousands.

Every day. We asked to speak to the manager. The manager was the one refusing to let us in. Ah, I am the manager. Cough it up. Yeah, that's it. One parent threatened to call the cops, rightfully so in my opinion. one refusing to let us in. One parent threatened to call the cops, rightfully so in my opinion. If my kid's inside, I want my kid out.

Fuck you. How about I'll kick the shit out of you and go get my kid. We all beat the shit out of you and go get our kids. None of us wants to skate. We want our fucking kids. We want our kids. That's what I mean. Violence isn't the answer.

But if you're kidnapping my child, guess what? I'm getting my kid period. Sure. Yeah. Sorry. Taking motherfucker. That's what I mean. He was much nicer.

He's going to be. Yeah. When I'm done with you. We weren't skating or hanging out. They locked the doors and told us we cannot enter without the fee. We asked. Oh, that's the manager. Okay.

Threaten to call the cops. They tried withholding our's the manager, okay, threatened to call the cops. They tried withholding our children, which is illegal, right? I would think so, yeah, can't do that. I'm 37 and I'm very upset about this and I've never heard about it before. The other parents were irate. They finally let us in.

I'm sure somebody said, motherfucker, you're gonna open that fucking door real soon or else you're gonna be picking your teeth up off the goddamn sidewalk Yeah, and they said okay. Well, you know what we'll let it you do it this one time We shouldn't have to pay a fee to come get our children ridiculous We didn't pay a fee at drop-off leaving one star because of the unprofessionalism and initial refusal to give me my child Yeah, oh

Man, they're upset about also people upset about the bag policy. Oh Is the other thing no bags over six inches? Okay, here we go one star for Laurie if there was an option for zero choice for zero stars I would have made that selection no It's not how you say it if I could give zero stars I It's not how you say it. If I could give zero stars, I would. My Girl Scout troop came to Magic Wheels with 11 attending. I can understand trying to be competitive with other venues and pay the $12 especially

since you've updated everything. However, your new bag policy of no bags over 6 inches is absolutely ridiculous. I had a binder for my troop, my purse and my wallet that I had to leave in my car. In the confusion, one of my girls had given me money to hold for their concessions. I asked to go grab it from my purse that I had back in my car and was told it would be an additional $3 to re-enter the building. I had just paid the $ dollar fee that is charged for a non-skater. This place is outrageous and I won't be returning. I was just there last month and this

wasn't an issue. If it wasn't for my girls being excited to skate we would have walked out. Jesus. I am a 46 year old girl scout leader. I hope you reconsider some of these absurd new policies. Truly. Yes. She said I understand that you have many teenagers that may bring undesirable items inside, but I'm a dork. Bernice One Star, I do wish to understand the ID situation. Kids need ID to skate. They're not buying cigarettes, what a joke. My son is 6'2", with a mustache and a goatee.

You think he's at least 16, He is 17 plus and a great kid I bring them to skate teens deserve not to be judged by the color of their skin They want to skate and meet girls Why would they lie about their age to skate that is total bull if any of you can see they are of age May God reveal this business. Whoa. Whoa. She's invoking deities over this shit. Oh shit.

I think the problem here is you have to be at least 16 to go by yourself or are they saying if it's a kid's thing you can't be over a certain age to skate? You know what I'm saying? I think it may be arbitrary to each situation. I think it may be arbitrary and to each situation I think it might be just whatever this manager feels like yeah, I think this manager at the front door with his three dollars Yeah, Angelita one star so after paying the entrance fee and getting my wristband I needed to go to my car for something and forgot my keys. Oh shit Oh, you're paying three bucks trying to get back in they were very impolite and wanted to charge me three dollars for

each time going in and out because she had to go back in to get her keys. That would have been six dollars to that trip. Yeah. Get your keys, another three bucks. Get the thing out of your car, go back another three bucks. So the response is you don't have the ability to ring it up at the register. You didn't address the root employee, because the response from the owner is, quote, we have no idea what you're talking about.

We don't even have the ability to ring this up in the register as you have described. You charge $3 to get back in. Let's be honest here. How many people have said this? Don't try to say you don't now. They just gave up defending it and we're like, we don't do that. Holy shit. That is fucking amazing.

Okay. Wow. Ashley, Ashley, Ashley. This next person, um, says this is normally our fun place to go. We go here weekly. However, this week we walked in less than five minutes after our children and we're told we needed to pay admission even though we were not skating. It's that again. They say this is over two years ago.

This is from this. So this is when this happened. Hi Ashley. We made a policy change two weeks ago regarding this. Supervising adults must be coming in with the child they're supervising in order to come in for free. Then they've abandoned that, now it's $3 for non-skaters. Supervising adults that come in later claiming to be joining their family inside would have to pay admission like everyone else.

Claiming, like you're lying. We did everything we could think of to communicate this to our customers. Social media, email, clearly described on website. We had to make this change for multiple reasons. We sure didn't mean for you to be surprised at the door, but not sure what else we could have done. Well, don't charge people for nothing. How about that? What are you talking about? If you decide you want to come back and we

do hope that you do. If you come back in with the 16 year old, you'll be able to enter for free if you're not skating. Thank you for your business in the past. Not now. And we know you're not going to bring us anymore. So best of luck to you. Oh yeah. But best of luck to you. Um, uh, that is fucking amazing. Okay. Uh,, next one we'll end it with Tara here. One star. We decided to throw a party here for two of the younger kids. That means they have a lot of kids. We had an elderly family member who's a diabetic being refused water. They tried to charge $8 for a pitcher of tap water. Get the fuck out of here. Even fucking 7-Eleven will give you free water. That's asinine.

Again. A pitcher of tap water. Come on, man. Get the fuck out. Jesus, not only did they not cater to free water, they also had a problem with the different languages that were being spoken during the party. They continued to harass the party

and nitpick on things that we had for the party and even stoop as low as saying that we were using foul language in our cultural language. The manager then continued to profile the guest until some just had enough and left. I would not recommend anyone, especially those of other cultures, to go to this place because instead of having a good time, they'll find reasons for you to leave. The manager is a racist and the staff does not cater to the sick and elderly. And to pretend they are not racist, they hire fake looking Spanish that don't speak a lick of Spanish.

You say they hire people that look Spanish, but they don't speak shit. Fake looking Spanish. Fake looking Spanish don't speak a word of word a lick of Spanish. They know they are wrong white people. I know what's up Jesus Christ What are you fucking Italian, what are you doing here? This play they knew they know they are wrong this looks abandoned. At least the old owners weren't racist This place has gone downhill sad that people fight for their country and have been to war and to come back and be treated this way I served in Iraq and never would I have thought of that would be treated this way To all my military families read the previous folks

Posts we are not the only blended family that's been harassed and singled out by a business even after spending so much money. Take your business elsewhere. They're not family oriented or military oriented. I brought a family. We weren't respected. I'm in the military. We're Spanish speaking.

This guy just needs to be treated nice for at least something in his life. It's like, some reason. Response from the owner. Oh, here we go. For those who might read this review, we had multiple customers complain about this person's foul language. Two of our staff members who spoke the same language confirmed what the customer said. Yeah, exactly.

In trying to keep a family-friendly atmosphere magic wheels cannot allow someone to continually swear no matter what language you say it in yeah if you choose to swear in a foreign language we are asked we are asked to cease it's certainly not due to racism the customer just left before we exercised our option to remove them 16 Kept calling this 16 year old cash register girl a poota. Wow. We do not refuse water to anyone. We have a functioning water fountain free of charge. If the water from the fountain is not good enough for your taste, you can't demand that we provide other options for free because you are diabetic. Our water pitchers

do not cost $8. Oh, thank God. Wow, that's good to know that they don't cause fucking $8, Jesus Christ. All right, we'll go do one more, and then we'll call it a day here. Maria, one star, I used to go here nearly every day a few years back. God damn.

Burlington and roller skating every day, huh? Who knew? When the whole place used to be crowded, and were so many people they had to boot people out. Then the new owners came along and this rink just fell apart. Yeah, this rink is rank. It's rank, rank, rank. The new owners only play old and boring music that nobody likes. Back then they played all of today's music but of course blocked out the cuss words of course. They love to keep their music down so low so where barely anyone can hear.

They changed that rink into a daycare. Nobody goes there anymore except for little bitty kids. Little bitty kids. Which is so- Mommy shark. Which is so sad because that used to be everyone's hangout spot every Friday and Saturday. Shout out to the new owners for rooting the place.

You guys suck and so does Magic Wheels. You ruined my childhood. My little siblings don't even wanna go there anymore. Yeah, they're not catering to teenagers. It sounds like at all anymore The owners are really rude and unprofessional the old fat lady owner Likes to get smart with all the kids and get into parents faces and your prices went up a lot if you're thirsty Yeah, you're screwed The staff is okay. The restrooms are

nasty. Fix that too. You know what? Just tear the place down and start over. Close it! Fuck off. That's it. They ruined my childhood. I want my childhood back. The nostalgia's gone. Close it down! The thrill is gone! All right. One last one. I'm sorry, but I have to, for you'll, you'll understand why in a second. One star from Natalie, my daughter and I came for the first time today.

If I could rate this place a zero, I would. She nailed it. It took all the way, it took an hour and nine minutes, but somebody got it right. You have all these little bitty kids, apparently in Tennessee you just call little bitty kids, that's what you say. Little bitty, it's a little bitty. Skating and high school kids that are skating so fast,

I watched a couple of them knock a kid over. Well they clotheslined him, that was on purpose. I told the guys in the middle and they talked to them. Well they continued, so I went over to the owner. He didn't do anything about it either. Oh, well the roof is literally leaking into the concession stand Counter into a pitcher. That's nice. Very unsanitary and bathrooms are disgusting as well Find another place before you come here. Otherwise your children will get hurt. It's true Okay, there's that so we'll start out. Okay. There's that. So we'll start out. Well, I don't know if we'll start out with it, but next week we'll definitely have

the pies on Oh pizza cooker. You've seen those the commercials for them. They're all over the pie. It sucks. The pies on Oh, this offensive piece of shit that makes me so fucking angry. Anyway, there that is. That is your stupid opinions, everybody. Watch out where you buy cheap coats. I mean, how much lube do you really need? Yeah, I mean, that's a lot. And of course, watch your little itty bitty kids because they're gonna charge you $3 to go get them.

So there's that. So thank you so much for listening. Like I said, follow us on social media. Also listen to our other two shows, Crime in Sports and Small Town Murder, which are just what they sound like. Keep doing that, keep coming out, coming out and hanging out with us.

We'll of course be here every goddamn Monday. You can't get rid of us. Thank you so much everybody, and yeah, go fuck yourselves. Bye. Bye! Follow your stupid opinions on the Wondery app, Amazon Music, or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to every episode of Your Stupid Opinions ad free by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondery.com slash survey.